#to continue to the theme of my page though i have to say i really appreciate that when stein is in the middle
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Pick a Card: Month Ahead #01
This was written for May 2024 but with the intention to be timeless, so even if you find it later there might be a message for your next month.
We'll look into your energy coming into the month, but also what will be the theme/area of focus and what you'll need to pay attention to, as well as the surprises that might come your way.
It's my first time doing a pick a card like this so we'll see how it turns out! I love doing those privately though.
As always, be mindful that this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not be 100% fitting for your situation, and that it's based on the energy you hold at the moment of selecting a pile that draws you to one of them.
PILE 1
Cards: Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords, the Emperor, Strength, 5 of Cups, the Moon, Queen of Cups, 5 of Wands rx, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, Page of Wands
For your energy coming into the month, I see you being in a state of being in tune with your heart, opening up to the possible rise of a new romantic connection. I get the sense that you're cautiously optimistic about it, because while you feel confident within yourself and in a happy place, you're also aware that it's too early to tell. But you're not letting that deter you and you're fully embracing your own power, feeling good about yourself and where you're at while looking ahead hopefully and waiting for an opportunity to move forward. I think for you the process of the month ahead has already started a bit before the start of the new month and you're continuing the process.
When it comes to the theme of the month, I see the importance of putting your emotional fulfillment at the forefront and being actively working towards it. There is a need to bring clarity about the situation, clarity that will bring you contentment and tie loose ends. You will be determined to work through that with willpower and determination by taking the lead and stop wasting time around. I think you are seeing the path forward for this connection and you're determined to go for it and not let it escape. You got four cards here and they all represent a different element, which I interpret as the fact that harmony within and for yourself will be a big theme as well. Between your feelings, your thoughts and your actions, everything will be grounded in your authentic self.
I think these past few months have not always been great for you and you're determined to leave that behind and enter the new chapter of your life. You've learned all you had to about your old ways and now you're ready for a change. So for the goal you'll have in mind, you will be focused on not falling back into the same patterns of thoughts and behaviors and keep moving forward with determination and a sense that you can't go back to what you once where.
The challenge that will arise will come from your own psyche. I get the sense that you still have unresolved issues within yourself that may cloud this great picture, so you will have to be extra careful about not letting your fears and doubts making you spiral down and do or say something that doesn't align with your truth. You might go through times where you feel irritable or anxious and you may take that as a proof that things are going to shit again and you might want to run away, but it's an illusion. It just means that you still have some inner clutter to sort out. Be careful about not shutting yourself off from others as a reaction to your inner pain.
When it comes to a surprise coming your way, it seems there will be an event that will create a shift from a confusing and chaotic situation to one of open communication of feelings, laying out a more positive base for the future. I'm getting the sense that this is what the theme of the month was referring to, and while you seek it, you don't really know how it will unfold so it will still be a surprise when it happens. When this even happens, be as open and honest as possible in order to clear out any possible miscommunication, be kind and listen to what the other person has to say with empathy and love at heart.
What you'll have gained by the end of the month will be a stable and solid start towards the future. Things are blossoming but you'll have learned that there's no point rushing into anything and that things come when the time is right. You'll be set to build on that for the months to come. Maybe the start of a new commitment although things are in their very early stage.
As a final advice, it is important not to shut yourself off from your emotions and not to stay stuck in your old ways of remaining passive. Stay open and assertive, go after what you want and I get the strong message that you need to communicate openly about everything that isn't clear in this connection. Don't just wait around for things to fall onto your lap. Be passionate and enthusiastic and again be clear about your intentions. Also, you're learning something new and important so be gentle with yourself if you don't get everything perfectly from the get go, what matters is to do your best.
PILE 2
Cards: King of Wands, Queen of Cups, the Lovers rx, 8 of Cups rx, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Memento Mori, 10 of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, The Chariot, Knight of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups rx, 7 of Cups
For the general vibe of this pile, it feels a bit overwhelming like there is so much to pay attention to that you are somewhat disconnected from yourself as a result, because your feelings are so confusing that you get lost in them. There are A LOT of court cards, which may mean that there is a situation that brings the intervention of a lot of different people, perhaps it will be busy at work, or something involving family, creating a very messy situation where everyone has something to say and you can't hear yourself anymore. Really there is so much external influences here that I had a hard time picking up on YOU until the end of the reading.
For the energy you have coming into the month, I really think you are in a committed relationship with someone (and if not it's not your pile), but there is a big disharmony here. It seems one of you is on the way out of the relationship (represented by the King of Wands), and the fact that the Queen of Wands shows as a challenge later in the reading, I'm getting that this person already has someone in mind. It seems you are longing for the way the relationship used to be and it feels over, but you are having difficulties moving on right now. It's also possible you're just longing for the idea of Love altogether and wishing you could drop everything you have right now to run towards it. There is a choice to be made but right now at the end of the month, you are not making a move one way or another.
The theme of the month to come for you pile 2 makes a lot of sense considering what I already wrote. You will have to focus on your own clarity and get grounded in yourself, trying to find stillness in the chaos that surrounds you in order to get the answers you need, based on your own guidance. I'm also getting that you feel resistant to change and the call of life, and that you may feel a bit dead inside and numb as a result. There is a need to find excitement for the miracle of life again which has been lost due to your complex situation. ''The meaning is in the Middle'' is what's written on the card and writing down in case it speaks to anyone.
For what you'll consciously focus on this month, I'm getting just like...trying not to break down completely and at the same time keeping up with your demanding job and practical life issues. Perhaps this impending breakup is causing financial stress and you don't know how things will turn out. So your goal will be navigating that in order to stay on top of things both mentally and professionally/financially.
Okay this is where it finally clicks because I was confused whether you where the one with the third party of the one who is perhaps cheated on. With the King of Pentacles longingly looking at the Queen of Wands (the third party I mentioned before - don't take gender into account though) standing next to him, I'm getting that YOU are wondering how to welcome this new passionate connection into your busy life and how to make it fit from a practical standpoint with your current relationship. The Queen seems to be both a challenge and an opportunity, I don't necessarily get that this Queen is a bad omen, it's just a difficult situation that require a choice on your part.
For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, I'm not getting a particular event but rather, how it will change the course of what you're doing. This surprise will force you to weight your options and start pursuing what you desire, getting out of that rut you are in. There will be progress moving forward as I don't think you'll be left indecisive for too long. There is a sense of urgency here, whether it's perceived or true, you will feel it deeply and it will push you into actions. You will be surprised by how determined you suddenly feel after the indecision of the past.
What will be gained after the month ends is a newfound stability as you'll have regained your footing. From that point in the spread it's like things have cleared up a bit and there's open space. There is a new beginning on the horizon but unlike the urgency that led you to that point, there is now the need to take things slow and build strong foundations.
The advice you got was that, well, it's time to choose what you want to do with this third party. You can't keep holding things like that without making a choice. You might also need to distance yourself from bad influences around you like friends or family and again focus on yourself. The second advice is about restoring some type of balance between giving and taking. It seems someone has or will give you something and you'll have to give something in return so that not to break the flow of the relationship.
PILE 3
Cards: 4 of Swords rx, 8 of Pentacles, 4 of pentacles, 3 of Pentacles rx, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 9 of Wands, Justice, 4 of Wands, King of Cups, the Moon, 9 of Swords, Temperance, 6 of Swords, the Fool
For your energy coming into the month, I see that you might have been feeling burnt out for a while now due to over-exhausting yourself with work or your studies, something you've put a lot of care and energy into in any case. You feel stagnant and somewhat demotivated and the whole thing is weighting on you. It's like you've put so much effort into working on this issue that you feel totally depleted emotionally. However, you can't seem to let go a bit in order to get things flowing again and you remain stuck, fearing everything is going to go to waste if you relax a bit.
The theme of this month will be to find your support system and reach out for help in order to get you to find new solutions to your issue. Not everything can be done alone. Furthermore, not every project can be rushed through all the time, sometimes you have to let it rest for a bit and let it grow under the surface of the soil. You will find great benefit from focusing on your own enjoyment and pleasure for a change in order to find a new perspective on your situation.
Despite that, it seems your mind will still be set on proving yourself this month. It's like, you feel burnt out and stagnant, and instead of getting the cue that you need to slow down a bit, you look at others and wonder why you can't hustle like them. Basically you're sensing there is an issue but you're trying to solve it in a toxic way by comparing yourself to others and feeling threatened by their success, triggering your self esteem issues.
The challenged you will have to face have to do with accepting to restore the balance in your life and take a break to have a bit of fun. Sounds like a false problem but it seems it's quite difficult for you to do at the moment because you're so focused on your tasks. It's a critical point though because if you don't cut off the toxic behaviors that are burying you into the ground, you will face the repercussions of your own non-action further down the line. You might have a hard time socializing because your heart is not there and you might feel left out, even though it would do you good to get a change of scenery and get out of your cave for a while.
For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, this will have to do with some type of emotional reconnection that will lead to more balance. It's very possible that it'll be uncomfortable at first as all the negative feelings you've been pushing under the rug all this time are resurfacing, but if you manage to stay afloat you will find a greater sense of mastery over them. I'm not getting anything precise as to what's gonna happen, but it will have to do with you being forced to take the blindfolds off and finally pay attention to your mental health. This might be the inner crisis you need to get back in a better shape.
What will have been gained by the end of the month has to do with leaving behind this way of doing and thinking you were holding onto at the beginning of the month. You will finally be able to get moving again, even if it will feel somewhat bitter and hard to do, remember it's for the better because you could not keep going on like you did.
The advice for you to help you navigate things is to not take everything so seriously all the time. Don't focus too much on what's not working or what you could do better or even on what you can't control, but try to find hope and the sense that a new beginning is at hand if only you open yourself up to it. Whoever is sending you this advice really encourages you to enjoy the little things and find your youthful spirit again. Things won't stay bleak forever so the best thing you can do is let yourself move along the stream.
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot reading#divination#pac reading#pick a card reading#soaring wide#tarot#month ahead#may 2024
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The way schizophrenia and psychosis can rob you of your joys and therefore your comforts and soothing techniques + stress relief is so sneaky. "Listen to music, go for a walk, have a snack, talk to a friend..." I'm grateful you can't imagine the potential horrors behind all of these simple things. I'm not saying they are entirely unsound suggestions--I know loved ones try to put their best intentions behind them--but it's impossible to acknowledge the kaleidescopy of terror behind literally anything whilst in the midst of psychosis. When we hesitate, when we say we're scared, just take our word for it. here's an example. (link: a text post recounting a story of personal circumstance)
This being said, I think it's selfish when NTs/non-psychotics take it personally when we're too afraid to reach out. You really missed the whole premise, didn't you?
#and this can be the internal narrative of catatonia: everything in your mind screams that you're “not supposed” to do x y z#and that “x y z” can be as big as not going to the store to as small as not “being allowed” to stand or even look at a clock etc#to continue to the theme of my page though i have to say i really appreciate that when stein is in the middle#of his psychotic episode he just sits around his house not able to do anything#ive only seen this otherwise accurately depicted in “The boys Next Door” (1996)#actually schizophrenic#actually schizospec#actually psychotic
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hiii, can i be called 🧸 anon?
i'm new to your page and really liked some of your works! especially the "when your sister is the favoured child" one! i hope it's not too much to ask, i don't think I saw a rule against it in your rq rules, but could you make a part to for it with kaeya, dainsleif, and baizhu, if it's not too much of a bother?
i completely understand if you can't and i would say more about it but this request is already getting way to long, heh.
have a good day/night/evening !
Definitely! Gonna do my best with it as always!
Characters Included: Kaeya; Dainsleif; Baizhu
Content: gender neutral reader; reader has a sister; jealousy themes; slight cursing; estranged relationship with family; metions of cheating; mentions of assault
Word count: 4k words
Thanks for your request, 🧸- anon! Hope you enjoy<3
Kaeya
Having a relationship was never really a top priority for Kaeya or on his "To-do-list" at all.
It was more or less coincedence that he stumbled upon you, continued to have conversations that evolved into dates, which, in the end, led to the two of you to start dating.
He expected it, but it was a welcome turn of events for him. Kaeya never knew how much he actually enjoyed the domestic side of a relationship. He loved coming home to you after his work was done, he adored how you spoiled him with your cooking if you were home earlier than him.
Everything about your relationship just seemed so natural and right to him, like something he would never want to miss out on again. And he was sure that he would never get something as special as this with any other person.
You were the only one for him. At least, in his eyes. But even having said all that, it‘s still hard for him to open up about his past and what he has experienced in the past. It‘s not that he doesn‘t trust you or that he doesn‘t want to open up… he just feels like it‘s never the right time or he just doesn‘t know how to talk about it, since the one time he did do it didn‘t end too well for him.
You have a general idea though, as he told you very basic stuff that he feels comfortable with. But even then, you never pressure him to open up to you, and he can‘t even begin to tell you how much he appreciates you for that. It‘s hard for him, so he needs some time to figure himself out before he can openly talk to you about everything.
Likewise, he would never pressure you to talk or open up about a topic that you don‘t feel comfortable sharing with him yet. After all, that would be quite hypocritical of him if he were to do that..
Like you, he has a general idea though, about the stuff that weighs on you. You told him little pieces about your past, mostly that your childhood wasn‘t the best which was the reason why you weren‘t having much contact with your family, especially your older sister. And he‘s fine with that. Kaeya is sure that you had your reasons for that decision, after all, he can imagine that it wasn‘t one lightly made.
Which is why it surprises him all the more when one evening, you ask him if he wanted to meet your family.
Apparently, your mom caught wind about you dating the cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonius and now, she wanted to officially meet him, have him meet your family to introduce everyone.
Kaeya is honestly pretty indifferent about this. „As long as you want to. I don‘t mind whatever you want to do. It‘s your family after all.“
After thinking about it for a few days, you decide that you want to give them a chance, giving them the opportunity to meet your boyfriend and maybe, if all goes well, let them more into your life again.
So, after some back and forth, it was decided to meet over lunch at your parent‘s home. As the meeting came closer each passing day, you grew more and more nervous, while Kaeya remained calm as always. He really didn‘t have too many doubts, knowing that you loved each other, and that was all that mattered. No matter what opinion your parents might have of him, it won‘t change that fact, so what could they possibly do?
And now, the day was finally here, and you were nervous. Your mind was filled with doubt, thinking that maybe you made the wrong decision. Kaeya tried his best to reassure you, even telling you that neither of you had to go if you didn‘t feel comfortable, but you still wanted to see it through. „If things get too out of hand, we‘ll just leave, okay?“, you said to him, offering a way out to which he obviously agreed.
Actually meeting your parents wasn‘t all that bad to be honest. The first hour or so was going by really good, you were all having a good time and Kaeya seemed to be getting along well with your mother and father.
That was, until the front door opened again and in came your older sister. Kaeya immediately noticed how the energy in the room shifted, but decided not to comment on it.
He planned on standing up up going over to introduce himself to her, but immediately thought differently as soon as she opened her mouth. Upon seeing you, she instantly started to boss you around, giving you tasks to do even though you and him were the guests here. It almost seemed like she was treating you like her personal slave.
„What are you waiting for, get to it already, you slowpoke!“, she started to insult as you didn‘t move to do as she said, which seemed to irritate her.
„Darling, please? Can‘t you help your sister out a bit since you‘re already here?“, your mom then chimed in. Kaeya was speechless as he witnessed this. He was about to say something, but then he felt your hand on top of his and as he looked at you, you softly shook your head at him.
Then you got up and did what your sister demanded asked of you, which irritated your boyfriend even more. But per your request, he kept his mouth shut, but did keep a close eye on you.
He watched as for the like next ten minutes, your sister continued to berate you, insulted you even, while your parents didn‘t seem to care about that at all. In fact, they cheered her on from time to time, especially when they were comparing the both of you and how much better your sister was apparently doing, unlike you.
„Honestly, I don‘t know why this guy is even dating you. Look at you, you have nothing to offer to him! I bet he‘s just with you out of pity. Maybe he lost a bet and has to do this now, but he can‘t be dating you of his own free will. That‘s ridiculous!“, you sister laughed as she berated you again, your parents laughing right along with her.
And Kaeya has heard enough at this point. He clearly saw how hard you were gripping onto the nearest surface, knowing you had to be holding back tears at this point. All eyes were turning to him as he suddenly stood up from the table, looking over each of them slowly.
„I won‘t stand for this disrespect of my partner any longer. Up until know, I was wondering why (Name) didn‘t have much contact with their family, but I‘m starting to understand now. This is your own child you are treating so horribly. I honestly can‘t believe you‘re able to treat them that way.“
He walked over to you and gently took your hand as he led you towards the front door.
„We‘ll be taking our leave now. Thank you for the invitation, but I can promise you, you‘ll never hear from either of us ever again.“
And with that, he walked out the door with you, no protest to be heard from any of them. The walk back to your shared home was quiet as you were trying to hold back, to not break down in public still while Kaeya focused to get you both back as quickly as possible.
As soon as you were in the comfort of your own home, your dam broke down, tears started to flow uncontrollably. Kaeya held you through it all, gently stroking your hair and back, whispering sweet words into your ear.
One time, when you were calm enough to form some sentences, you just looked at him with a blank expression as you said „Thank you.“
He just smiled at you and kissed your forehead, continuing to hold you. You might not have the best relationship with your blood related family, but he would make damn sure that you would never miss anything from this point forward…
Dainsleif
Managing a relationship with Dainsleif is definitely easier said than done. Most of the time, he is gone, travelling all over Teyvat without telling you what he was actually looking for.
It‘s not easy but the two of you somehow manage to pull it off. Neither of you is exactly aware how this works, but you‘re both glad that it does. Maybe, you sometimes like to think, maybe there is no big reason or solution to anything at all. Maybe, just loving each other was enough for it to somehow work out.
Because, dating Dainsleif and just being with him feels… just right to you. Like it was always meant to be that way. Like to pieces of a puzzle that only work with each other, no second thoughts about it.
Ironically, he felt the exact same way about this relationship. For far too long had he wandered the lands of Teyvat all by himself. Though he longed for companionship, he never, not in his wildest dreams, had thought it possible to find a lover for himself. But after meeting you, it felt like there was finally meaning to his life again.
He wouldn‘t go so far as to claim that he „only waited for you his entire life“, those were lies told in fairytales to little kids. But loving you just came natural to him and just felt right. And he could only hope that, starting with you, his life would finally take a turn for the better again.
Dainsleif has actually come clear to you about everything about him pretty early on in the relationship. He didn‘t dump everything on you right at the beginning, but he also didn‘t want to wait too long with it, fearing that your feelings for him would take a turn for the bad were he to withhold this from you. You were bound to find out sooner or later, and he wanted to be the one to tell you everything, on his own terms.
Surprisingly to him, you took it quite well. He was not expecting that, but was pleasantly surprised with that outcome. Another thing that he didn‘t expect was for you to open up to him as well. Up until this one evening, you‘ve never really talked about your past or your childhood, but now you were. And what he heard made his heart break for you.
You told him about how, growing up, your baby sister was always favoured by your parents.
It would start out small. When your parents denied you a toy you wanted only to spend that money on your sister instead. How every time time your sister broke something, it got blamed on you and you had to take the punishment for it. How you were burdened with all the household chores while your sister was lazying around the entire day, doing nothing.
It would grow into your parents and other family forgetting about your birthday. They never bothered to congratulate you, much less buy you a gift on your special day. Meanwhile, your sister got showered in presents every year, large parties with all her friends were thrown in her name.
All of that led to your own sister starting to bully you. Your parents never believed you when you told them about it. After all, their dear angel could never do something like that. She was too innocent for something so lowly like that.
Which only enabled her to do even worse things to you. Even after she switched to physically attacking you, your parents still defended her, so the bullying never stopped. It got worse and worse the older you both got, yet your parents always took her side even if they were directly witnessing the abuse. But what else could they do? They praised your sister into the sky to every person they met, she was the pride of your parents, so they simply turned a blind eye to her missbehaviour.
The final straw was when you caught her in bed with your then boyfriend. She seduced him, getting him to cheat on you since she couldn‘t stand the thought of you having a relationship when she didn‘t have one. You were heartbroken when you found out, crying and telling your parents about it, hoping they would finally come to realize how much of a monster your sister truly was.
Yet, they took her side again, defending her actions. Telling you that the boy was a much better fit for her than he would ever be for you, completely disregarding your own feelings.
That was the point where you decided you wanted nothing to do with any of them anymore. As soon as you were able to do so, you left your home and never looked back. You cut all contact with them, moved to a different nation altogheter to minimize the risk of running into them.
Dainsleif sat there and listened to your story, just as you had done for him moments prior. He could tell that you had a hard time talking about it, so he did his best to make you feel safe with him, gently holding your hand, reassuring you that he was here with you. It did comfort you greatly and appreciate his silent support.
Then, sometime later, he had returned from one of his travels again. He noticed immediately that something was wrong with you, yet you refused to talk to him about it. It took him some time and gently reassurance, but he eventually got it out of you.
Apparently, while he was gone, you had recieved a letter from your parents. You had no idea how they had found you, but you were scared. You cut contact with them for a reason, you didn‘t want anything to do with them. The whole reason of you moving to a different nation was so that they would never be able to find you again. But they somehow did find you…and it scared you to no end.
Dainsleif wasn‘t sure how to best go about this situation. When asked, you told him that you didn‘t want to leave behind this life you build for yourself, yet you also never intended to ever meet with your family again.
For now, the letter was simply to be ignored, hoping that no further ones were to arrive ever again. But if they did, he promised you to pay a visit to your family… a nice little „talk“ never hurt anyone, right?
But for now, your comfort was his first priority. So, he went out and got you your favourite food. While eating, he made sure to say glued to your side, always making physical contact with you in some way, shape or form to remind you that he was here with you and that you didn‘t have to deal with that all on your own. Wether that be holding your hand, placing an arm around your waist, brushing your cheek, stroking your back, you name it. He is willing to do everything in his power to make you feel better.
Afterwards, he picks you up and carries you into the bedroom, where he cuddles you the entire night. Wether you fall asleep in his arms or stay awake the night with him, he keeps whispering sweet words into your ear, telling you how much he loves you, that you are the only one for him, that he‘ll never leave you, no matter what. Everything that comes to his mind, he just says it, hoping that it brings you comfort while being held close to his chest.
Dainleif is absolutely whipped for you. Your comfort and well-being is and will always be his number one priority. Everything he has to do, he will do without a second of hesitation. No matter what you ask of him, he will fulfill your every wish just to make you happy…
Baizhu
Baizhu is a very caring person in a relationship. Even though he has to be away from time to time due to unpredictable work hours, he always tries to make up for it to you right away.
He tries to spoil you the best he can, every single chance he gets. He cares for you, always asks about your day, tries to spend as much time with you as possible, just overall very attached to you.
And it‘s the same for you, honestly. You love to look after and care for him, especially when he puts himself on the line for his patients again. You, along with Chansheng, always tell him to be more careful and look out for himself. You‘ve often scolded him, yet he always does it again. You get him, but still, you wished he would look out for his own health a bit more.
For Baizhu, loving you came easy to him. It wasn‘t some big thing that felt like a responsibility, like a chore he had to complete. It was just natural to care and look after you, like you had always been there by his side, always with him throughout his entire life. He already noticed this as he was only getting to know you, but didn‘t talk about it to you since he thought it to be weird this early on.
Yet for you, it was much the same. Like you had known him your entire life but only know did you realize that you were missing each other.
Though it wasn‘t always easy. As Baizhu soon learned, you had some issues from past events, mostly related to your childhood, but some also happening more recently.
Even though it felt so natural between the two of you, it still took some time for you to completely trust and open up to him about certain things from your past. Now that you looked back at it, you felt silly for worrying about his reaction, but back then, it was a valid fear of yours. After all, many people would leave someone over less, not many are willing to deal with a partner who‘s gone through than much shit in life already.
And yet, he never judged you for it, always offered you his support and reassurance. When you first opened up about your assault, it was very difficult for you. Despite your family, he was the only other person you have ever told about this. It was hard talking about it, but his gentle smile and the carresses of his hand on your back gave you the comfort you needed to continue talking.
When asked about your family, you told him that you pretty much had no contact with them anymore, except for an occaissonal letter every other month or so. But you were fine with that. And as long as you were okay with that, that‘s all he could ask for. He might not know the details of what happened between you and your family, but he also didn‘t want to pressure you into telling him.
However, when one day a letter arrived from your parents with the request to see you again and meet your boyfriend, you were perplexed. You had no idea how they were aware of your relationship situation, but you also didn‘t want to think too much about it. After all, Baizhu was pretty well known within Liyue, it was possible that people talked about the two of you and your parents just so happened to catch wind of this.
You thought about their request for quite some time and in the end, with confirmation from your boyfriend, agreed to meet with them over dinner in one of Liyue Harbors many restaurants.
You were quite nervous to see your parents and your sister again after such a long time, but the same could also be said about Baizhu, who would be meeting your parents for the first time. Even though the relationship with your mother and father might not be the best, he still wanted to give them a good impression of him, reassuring them that you were in good hands and that he was taking care of you.
When you two arrived at the restaurant, your parents and sister were already there, seated at the table and waiting for your arrival. Once they spotted you, your mother waved you over. She then stood up and pulled you into a hug which you awkwardly returned after your initial shock. Your father simply gave you a nod while your sister smiled at you. You smiled back, taking a seat next to Baizhu after you introduced him to your family.
The first few minutes went by uneventful, everyone settled into comfortable conversation, questions were asked and answers were given, until the waiter came and took everyones order for the evening. Once he was gone, everything went downhill from there.
„So, Baizhu.. I hear you run the pharmacy here in the Harbor.“
„Indeed I do.“
„That‘s very impressive. And at your age as well! You certainly already achieved more than (Name) ever could!“
That comment didn‘t sit right with Baizhu at all. And he saw by the way you shrinked a bit into your seat that you were feeling uncomfortable as well.
„…Excuse me?“, he asked, a smile on his lips, but his voice was dripping with venom.
„(Name) always was very stubborn. They were supposed to take over the family business. Always refused, saying it wasn‘t what they wanted from life. As if they have any idea about what they want from life in the first place. Marrying them off was almost impossible. And after their little escapade, their… unfaithful incident, no one wanted to be married to them anymore.“
Every word your father spoke you shrunk more into yourself, feeling more and more uncomfortable as Baizhu‘s resentment for this man grew more and more. How dare he talk about his significant other in that disrespectful way. You were his own child, god damn it!
„Honestly, that child never did anything right. You could have really taken an example from your sister, (Name). Younger than you but she always does as she‘s told. You were always the difficult one. You should have-!“
„With all due respect Sir, but please shut up!“, Baizhu then interrupted, still smiling, but his tone was far from friendly. Everyone looked at him in shock at his words, including you.
„..What did you just say to me?“, your father asked, getting mad at being interrupted in such a rude way.
„I said to shut up. I don‘t think I speak that unintelligibel, do I? But I‘ve listened to enough. I won‘t stand for how you talk about my partner, your child, any longer. I see now why they chose not to have contact with you anymore. Such an environment can‘t be good for anyone and I‘m glad they made it out of there.“
Standing up from the table, Baizhu looked at you as he extended his arm for you, waiting for you to take it. You glanced over at your parents one more time before taking his hand and standing up as well. Your family only looked after you, too stunned by the situation to actually say anything to that. But it‘s not like either of you would have waited for a response from them.
As soon as you were out the restaurant, you sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. Glad that you were able to escape the situation, but it also left you hurt from the words your father spoke about you, and the way your mother so eagerly nodded along to everything your father said. It hurt to see that after all this time, nothing had really changed.
„Are you alright?“
„Yeah… Yes, I am. Thank you“, you mumbled softly, looking down at your feet.
„What for, exactly?“, Baizhu asked, genuinely confused on why you were thanking him.
„For standing up for me. No one‘s ever done that for me before.“
Hearing that, his heart both swelled and broke at the same time. He smiled as he gently placed a hand on your cheek, carressing it with his thumb. „For you, gladly. And I would do it all over again the next time, as well. You are the most important thing to me, never forget or doubt that, even for a second.“
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin scenarios#genshin impact scenarios#genshin x reader scenarios#genshin impact x reader scenarios#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#kaeya x reader#kaeya x you#genshin impact kaeya#kaeya alberich#kaeya scenarios#kaeya imagines#dainsleif#dainsleif x reader#dainsleif x you#genshin impact dainsleif#dainsleif scenarios#dainsleif imagines#baizhu x reader#baizhu x you#baizhu#genshin impact baizhu#baizhu scenarios#baizhu imagine
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I'm not German or speak German so sorry if I translate it wrong just blame Google translate
Both bill and the reader are 16
" Hallo i-ich bin y/n" ( hello I'm y/n).
I say, well try to say. I'm trying to learn German by myself just for something to do. I don't think I will ever need it but it's gonna be awesome to say I can speak more than one language and that's German, plus German people have amazing accents that make them sound fantastic.
I sit on the swings staring down and the miniature sized book in my hands . Even though I'm swinging slightly the swing still screeches . It's not the best park, it has a broken roundabout that barely spins, the slide gives kids burns no matter what you wear. The over flowing bin thats full of beer bottles and other stuff I probably don't want to know about.
Everything in the park has worn out, dull paint on it. It looks like no one has been in for years and that's kinda true ever since the new park was added all the younger kids go there, it's in the nicer part of town as well.
It seems as though only drug addictics, drunkes and some teens go to this park now which is normally at night so sometimes I get this place all to myself.
My eyes quickly skim the page.
"alright so they pronounce their 'w' 's as v' s. So wine would be vine?" I look up to the clear blue sky and sigh. Closing the book I put it on the floor. I pick up my phone from the ground and skip my music till I find a more upbeat song, I place my phone back on to the floor then I start to swing getting higher and higher.
I sit swinging for about 45 minutes being in my own little world while listening to music watching the world go by. I slowly slow down draging my feet on the gravel and pull myself to a stop. I slip off my headphones and place them around my neck. Jumping of of the swing I bend down and pick up my book, phone and my bottle of water, I place my phone into my Jeans pocket. I start to head out of the park when I drop my waterbottle . I reach down stretching my arm out ready to grab the bottle when another hand beats me to it. I look up at the person ready to say thank you and I'm met with a really pretty, tall, skinny boy with longish black hair.
" Thanks, you didn't have to do that but I appreciate it"
"Don't worry, it was no problem. I'm Bill" the German accent catching my attention. Bill holds my bottle out and I reach to get it.
" Thanks" I say again "I'm y/n" grabbing the waterbottle.
Bill steps to the side slightly and that's when I notice another boy with dreadlocks.
"This is my brother Tom."
" it's nice to meet you but I probably should be going. Have a nice day" I say and continue to walk out of the park and along the path heading home. I turn to look back at the park and catch bill still looking at me, he doesn't turn away quickly as I thought he would, he just continues to look. I turn back around and continue my way home.
~~~~~~~°°~~~~~~~°°~~~~~~~°°~~~~~~
I kick my shoes of at the door and set down my book and waterbottle on the bench. I look at my waterbottle thinking back to the boy in the park and his brother, they looked about my age.
I open the snack cupboard and take out a pack of sour patch kids I grab my book and water and head up to my room.
Closing the door I chuck the sour patch kids on my bed as well as my waterbottle .
My room isn't very big. It has light gray walls with windows on both the front and the back of my room. My beds near the front of the room, my conserlation bedding make my room look more neater for some odd reason. I have about fifty thousand plants dotted around in different coloured plant pots. My room doesn't really have a theme it's just random.
For a small room I have a lot of stuff and I don't even need it. I don't use the things so there's no point in having them but it's the fact that most of the stuff is gifts and things that I might in the future, who knows.
I walk over to my bed and get on. lying on my stomach I reach to my right and put my book on my book shelf that has far to many books for it, and if I'm being honest I have 4 books on the go that need finishing.
I open the bag of sour patch and start scrolling on Instagram.
After about 15 minutes I get bored. I chuck my phone to the side and get up from my bed streching as I do so.
I hear the door open and close from my mum coming in from work.
"I'M BACK " she shouts. My mums pretty chill, just don't get on her bad side.
"OK" I shout back
"is your sister In?"
"no, she's staying at jasmine's tonight"
" should we order in tonight then"
I run out of my room and down the stairs into the sitting room. Not only is my room small every rooms small. My mum's sitting on the sofa scrolling through what I'm guessing is a takeaway menu.
"how does Chinese sound?" mum says looking up from the menu on her phone.
"yeah that sounds great"
We normally order in if maddison is out because she doesn't like eating fatty foods, she says its going to ruin her skin and figure . I mean when I was 14 i had okay skin a few spots every now and then but I didn't stop eating stuff because of it. The acne has gone now thankfully, and I'm happy about how I look because I relised that unless I get plastic surgery, which is hella expensive, I can't change the way I look.
About 12 minutes later mom gets a phone call.
I don't pay attention until I hear my name being mentioned, I turn my head towards mum now interested in the conversation that mums having.
"No, I'm sure she'll be fine with going, one sec, I'll tell her"
"y/n, sweetheart, maddison wants to go to this concert thing with jasmine in 2 or 3 weeks, apparently they have vip tickets or what ever you call them. And they want you to go are you okay with that" she says looking over to me
"yeah, sure, I don't mind" mum turns back to facing forward again.
" your sister says yes she'll go with you"
"Okay, bye love you" mum hangs up the phone and turns back towards me.
" Are you sure you're okay with going?"
"yeah I need to get out anyway, did she say who we're going to see"
"no I don't think so, only that they have back stage passes, apparently jasmine's parents bought them for her and accidently bought 3 instead of two without knowing. You know how rich people are"
Hi everyone thanks so much for reading.
I have no clue what happens at a concert cause I have never been to one never mind back stage so please bare with me. I'll try and update as much as I can.
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Costumed (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I think I started to write this back in July, and I didn't want to forget to get this posted like I usually do with holiday themed fics. I'm just sorry the title sucks. I hope you enjoy! :)
Summary: You're not really one for Halloween, but you love a good costume. And while you're not looking forward to doing a group costume, you find something that you just can't pass up.
Warnings: Fluff, regular Nelson and Murdock shenaniganery, mild swearing
Other Characters: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page
Word Count: 1,668
What compelled Foggy to come up with the idea that you all wear costumes to the office on Halloween is beyond you, but Matt agreeing and being pretty enthusiastic about it all confused you even more. So when Karen suggested a theme of “superheroes” with a sly smirk and Matt still agreed, you thought that Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out with a camera crew to tell you you’d been punk’d. But when none of that happened and everyone started to plan and chatter about their costumes in the main reception area, you decided that a walk around the block was exactly what you needed.
“Oh, you’re being a bit dramatic,” Karen chuckles as you grab your jacket on the coat rack.
“I’m not being dramatic, I’m just convinced that I’m in a parallel universe,” you say as you slide on your windbreaker.
“Just think about it, though,” Foggy adds. “We go straight from work to Josie’s for the costume contest.”
“All this being contingent we don’t have client meetings or need to go into court,” Matt says with a little smirk.
“I can’t believe you. Matt Murdock, of all people, wanting to have fun. Voluntarily.”
“What can I say, you’re rubbing off on me.” Taking a few steps in your direction, Matt leans in and gives you a kiss. “See?” he teasingly smirks.
You roll your eyes and grin, kissing him again. “I’ll be back soon. If you guys want me to grab coffee—.”
“Yes, please,” they all say in unison.
“Fine, text me what you want. I’ll be back!"
With a final round of goodbyes, you leave the office and trot down the stairs and into the street. A few minutes into your walk, you find a new little costume shop open for the season. With everything in the office fresh in your mind, curiosity gets the best of you and guides you into the store. You slowly browse the shelves, looking at the different options available, some very impressive, and others in need of some extra fabric.
“Hi, welcome in,” a salesperson greets behind some pumpkin trick or treat pails. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Maybe,” you hum, peeling your eyes away from something particularly high up. “I’ve been outvoted in doing a themed group costume.”
“What theme?”
“Superheroes.”
“Ah, a classic. Well, we’ve got plenty to choose from. Classy or sexy?”
“I’m thinking a bit of both, actually.” Turning my focus back to the wall, the sales clerk comes to your side. “Could you help me grab that one, please?”
“Ooh, nice choice!”
A few minutes later, you’re leaving the costume shop with a bag in hand, continuing your route of the coffee cart, and returning back to the quiet office, each of your friends nose-deep in work.
“I thought I was gonna have to send Matt out looking for you,” Foggy finally says. “Where’d you go to get the coffee? Italy?”
“No, I just got a bit side-tracked along the way,” you hum, stuffing the bag into your desk drawer before going over and handing everyone their drinks.
“What did you pick up on this side track?” Matt hums with a kiss to your cheek as he grabs his cup.
“Something you guys will get to see in two weeks,” you hum.
“Did you just pick up your costume?” Foggy asks excitedly, much akin to an excited golden retriever. “But you—!”
“Yes, and that’s all you’re getting, because I’m clearly nothing to win. No hints, no nothing, and no dwelling on how quickly I caved.”
“But what if we wear the same thing?”
“Trust me, Foggy, we’re not gonna have the same costume.”
“If you do, it’ll just have to be a who wore it better,” Karen grins as she sips her latte. “A little Halloween fashion show.”
“Yes!” Foggy cheers enthusiastically.
“No fashion show,” you counter.
“Yes, fashion show,” Matt grins like a cat that ate the canary.
“Goobers, all of you!” You take Matt’s face in your hands, pressing kisses to his lips. “And you’re the head goober!”
Matt smiles and kisses you once more. “I appreciate the recognition, sweetheart.”
“Alright, break it up, love birds,” Foggy teases. “We’ve got a law firm to run.”
“I don’t think that’s much of a costume,” Foggy pouts as you walk into the office.
“You just gotta wait,” you hum as you walk around to your desk to sit down.
“Is it a couples costume?” Karen asks.
“No. Honestly, I don’t know what Matt’s dressing up as.”
“Well, the established plan is to wear our costumes and then go to Josie’s,” he clarifies. “So this ain’t gonna cut it.”
“I know. And this is part of my costume. Just take a deep breath, Flash.”
“No way, if I am wearing this Catwoman bodysuit all day, you’re wearing yours all day,” Karen hums.
“Fine. You two go get coffee and bagels, my treat, and I’ll be in the Foggy and Karen approved costume by the time you get back.”
Handing them some cash, you shoo them out of the office and lock the door, working on taking off your clothes to reveal your Wonder Woman one piece underneath. You slide on the matching boots and throw on the tiara before you adjust your gauntlets and loop on your lasso of truth.
Sitting back down at your desk, you resume your previous task of responding to emails when you hear the door unlock, the squeaky hinges opening wide. You smile and stifle a giggle when you see Matt walk in in a Superman costume—giant S on his chest and a cape and all.
“Looking good, Kansas,” you tease, leaning back in your chair. “It’s a good fit, but, part of me can’t help but think your broodiness would make you better suited for a Batman costume.”
“You—I . . .” Matt stutters with his mouth agape as he tries to figure out what your costume is. “What are you wearing, angel?”
“My costume,” you say, turning to give him your full attention from your computer. “We agreed on a superhero theme, did we not?”
“Yeah, but, this . . .”
A smile pulls across your face as you watch his cheeks flush with a deep blush. You stand up and make your way over to him, the click of the heels of your boots loud against the old hardwood.
“Wow,” he breathes as his hands settle into your waist. “This . . . Wow.”
“You like it?” you chuckle as his hands start to trail up, his fingertips hitting your exposed shoulder blades.
“That’d be an understatement, angel.”
“I kinda hesitated about it. It was an impulse buy initially. I’m glad it’s paying off,” you hum as his hands go down over the curve of your ass before giving it a squeeze. “Maybe I should dress as a superhero every year.”
“I think that’s an excellent idea, sweetheart. It’s definitely paying off.”
“Feels good?”
“Very.” He leans in to kiss your neck slowly and repeatedly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna focus all day with you in that costume, smelling your skin like that.”
“Well, you should find a way, Murdock.” You can’t help how your eyes flutter shut and the goosebumps that spread all over your skin as he holds you flush against him. Matt knows just what buttons to press and how to press them to make you putty in his hands. “Otherwise, I’ll have to use my Lasso of Truth on you.”
“You gonna tie me up, angel?”
“You need to behave, but it’d be a bit unprofessional to do that here. We’d just have to go back to your place tonight if that’s what you’re jonesing for, though. Not like I need to return the costume or anything.”
As Matt leans in for a kiss, you lean back, taking your index finger and twirling Matt’s cowlick onto his forehead. It holds into a curl, and you lean forward to press a kiss to his freshly-shaven cheek. “There. Now you’re perfectly Superman-ed.”
“Thanks for keeping me authentic, angel,” he smiles as he leans in for a kiss.
“Hey, whoa, you can only kiss Lois Lane!” Foggy calls as he walking into the office. “Of course you’re Superman. And damn, (Y/N), rocking the tiara and one-piece. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I wish I had your legs.”
“Thanks, Fog,” you say. “I’ll never not be weirded out and flattered when you say that.“
“Thanks a lot Fog for—holy shit, (Y/N)!” Karen says as she comes in, box of bagels and coffee in hand. “You look hot! I mean, you usually do, but, damn!”
“Thank you,” you chuckle. “Now that you guys know I’m committed to the costume theme, can I please put some more clothes on? It’s kinda drafty in here.”
Matt presses a kiss to your temple before going over to his office to pick up an emergency suit coat he hangs on the back of his door.
“To keep out the draft,” he smiles softly, kissing your cheek before whispering in your ear: “And so I can hold on to you easier during the day while you wear that.”
“I’m seeing now how this plan is backfiring,” Foggy nods with an exaggerated, turtle-face pout. “It’s worth it, though, cuz we’re gonna win the costume contest! Or at least you two are. But a victory for part of Nelson, Murdock, and Page is a victory for the whole! So let's get to work, keep it in our pants, and then get that victory title. That middle part is for you two, by the by.”
“Yes, Fog, we get it, we’ll behave” Matt confirms, his hand still on your waist as he presses a kiss to your cheek. “But let the record show I’m glad we’re not having a costume ‘Who Wore it Better’ with you can (Y/N).”
“Joke’s on you, Murdock, I’d look fabulous dressed as Wonder Woman. This hair was made for a tiara.”
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Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters
#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x fem!reader#matt murdock fanfic#matt murdock fanfiction#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock x fem!reader fluff#daredevil#daredevil fanfic#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fluff#daredevil x fem!reader#daredevil x fem!reader fluff#marvel#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction
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Costume Meta 6x13
Was that real - did that episode actually happen or was it all a collective fever dream?!! I”m still sat here with my jaw on the floor trying to process all of the epic goodies we got in that episode, and the costumes were no exception!!!
I’ve spent far too long trying to figure out how to assemble my meta this week, but I’ve just gone with the flow and seen where it take me! Also this beast did not want to be wrangled and my ADHD decided side quests were far more fun and so getting this written has been a real struggle (I came out victorious though which is all that matters) and why its a bit later than normal (we’re not going to talk about my laptop deciding to crash and rebooting to a document that was missing half of what I had written - I couldn’t get it back so sad times!)!!
its under the cut - because as always - its a loooonnnnggggg post!!
We’re starting with the Wilson family (and Chimneys first costume!) because they actually sit separately from the rest of the characters from a costuming perspective this week!
There are a couple of things to note for the opening Wilson family scene which are kind of overarching things. Firstly the fact that Chim and Denny are both dressed in black and grey - a really clever choice when you consider their topic of conversation - fathers and things that have happened that cannot be undone - the grey acts as a form of fade out - kind of like a greyed out button on a computer screen - preventing you from clicking on it. Both Chimneys semi resolved arc (the decision to make his peace with his father and he reality of the situation) and Denny’s current arc echo each other up to this point in time - Chim’s father came back into his life and he made peace with it, Denny’s father is currently (and unknown to everyone) back in his life.
Both Chim and Denny are also wearing chack pattern - chims more hidden and Denny’s down the side - but Hen is also wearing a very loud and bright check pattern - she is the nly one in colour and the test card patterning of her jumper says so mcuh about both check theory and the fact that at this moment in time, she is not active in the plot - not in the conversation Denny and Chim have just had, and not in the Nathaniel of it all either. We know Denny is in danger later on so his check is also foreshadowing that, Hen is also in danger (emotional danger is just as vaild as physical danger) and Chimneys danger is more low key - its closer to his chest - his home being ‘invaded’.
However when Hen does come into play, we get a much more muted tones and we get these, whites, dusty pinks, lilacs and dusty purples, along with teal green trousers. Karen is in a black silk blouse with lilacs in a lilac colour on - this pairs her and Hen up in their respective styles and shows us they are on the same page. Lilacs are an interesting choice of floral and colour - it symbolises youth and innocence as well as love and purity. However Lilacs also mean old love and were often given to and worn by widows in the victorian era as a symbol of lost love and lost innocence! so the black paired with the prolifferation of lilacs (both colour and flowers) are telling that Hen and Karen are no longer ‘innocent’ (by which I mean they have gained knowledge) and they are also mourning the loss of the stable family life they thought they had created.
the choice to have Denny in army green continues a theme we’ve seen with him so far this season - the use of camouflage and army colour-ways to show him as sneaking around going undetected, and now the full on army green reads as an act of aggression - to the family life Hen and Karen have created, as well as to the agreement they had put into place with Nathaniel back in season 2.
I found the choice to have Karen in black with some yellow in her trousers and Hen in very bright emerald green (also with some yellow in her trousers) very interesting. Karens black is carrying on that theme of mourning, but its also a power colour - so its Karen still angry and grieving, but its also her pushing forward. the yellow is her communicating (on a low level) her anger and upset over what has happened.
Hen meanwhile is going full out into jealousy mode - we are seeing a Hen who is feeling threatened by Nathaniel and is jealous of the relationship her son has secretly been building with his bio father. THis is the culmination of all those little hints about the role Hen fills in Denny’s life - that she has been the one supporting and encouraging his sporting interests - thats why we saw Eddie and her throwing a baseball - so she could continue to share a sporting connection and interest wit her son. Hen feels threatened and jealous of Nathaniel’s stepping into that area she previously filled.
The wardrobe department just keep knocking it out of the park with the kids clothes this season. Denny’s mushroom shirt is amazing. Mushrooms are about duality - they represent both decay and deterioration, but also transformation and growth in the darkness. so Denny wearing this shirt here is perfect - he is going through puberty - a time of transformation and his acting out in his sneaking around etc is a symbol of that transformative time. His relationship with his mothers has deteriorated and decayed - they no longer feel like they can trust him, but his conversation with Toni brings him hope and the opportunity for all to grow through this dark time. its a really clever piece of costuming and I love it so much.
Karens dark teal green is interesting - there was actually quite a bit of teal at play in this episode. teal is a colour of clarity the darkness of it here suggests that clarity is coming but not fully in place yet - that Karen is more aware, but not yet fully accepting of the new reality she lives in.
Hens black and beige jumper is a wonderful choice as well - the beige representing neutrality and its being a soothing colour is important - accompanied by the black spots it has the affect of suggesting that the initial anger is passing and giving way to a more open time - one where calmness and the ability to see things more clearly come into play. the fact that this jumper has runs and frayed edges still maintains that idea that this has damaged Hen - that she is scared from this turn of events, even if she is more open to moving forward and accepting of Denny’s desire to have a relationship with his father.
Here we have a Denny in navy blue shirt and a yellow and green palm frond pattern - I thought originally they were bird of paradise flowers when I was watching live, but they are more obvious in the stills! palm fronds are an iinteresting and perfect choice - they are a symbol of peace and triumph - exactly what Denny is experiencing here - triumph in being allowed to see and build a relationship with his father and the resulting peace in his family dynamic that will come as a result.
I know I talk a lot about yellow being a colour of communication - and that still holds - but it is also a colour of anxiety and that very much matches up wit the look on Hens face. Her patchwork camouflage trousers hint at her uncertainty about the situation - she is trying to mask her nervousness and misgivings. These trousers are the same ones she was wearing at her leaving the 118 party - a time when she was also feeling nervous and had misgivings about becoming a doctor. Karen being in a navy jumpsuit with a variety of headdresses on is, again, an interesting choice - headdresses like those depicted are ceremonial (for the most part) and are a symbol of leadership, strength and bravery - perfect for Karen in this moment (and in general).
Just a quick aside before we move onto the ret of the mains! I don’t normally focus on the side and guest characters, but the guy whose wife got a vibrator lodged inside her is wearing the shirt Buck was wearing in his coma dream and that has me both cackling and wide eyed!
The scene in Bucks coma dream where he is wearing this shirt is one of mostly confusion and uncertainty for him - loosely speaking - its when he’s really trying to understand what exactly is going on in this world his mind has built for him - one where after that initial confusion we see him essentially embrace this new reality where he has what he thinks he wants - but what actually turns out to be something else - something that he doesn’t want/need. And here in this scene we have a guy going through the sexual version of the same thing - thinking that this different version of his sex life with his wife will be better - make things better and make her happy, when the reality is that if he’d had an actual conversation with her about it things would more than likely turned out differently. So major props to the wardrobe team for this little gem of a costume reuse!
Maddie rocking the layers here in Black, grey and red - very telling for this scene. layering is generally about protection - in an attempt to deflect something that is making you uncertain or causing anxiety. This is very much what is going on with Maddie here. the red top being the one closest to her skin - the bottom layer, shows that she is happy, in love and in a good place - the red of romance and passion, but it can also be a sign of danger and I think its is a combination of these two meanings here - the danger element coming from the fact that this new neighbour has got Maddie’s spidey senses tingling. The grey hoodie is a little bit of foreshadowing for her later silver top - the grey transforms into silver and becomes reflective (more on that in a moment). Then there is the black blazer - power and mystery. the mystery element is connected to who this woman is/ actually is while the power element is connected to Maddie having the power to control her own destiny in this moment - her returning the muffin tray is about her attempting to assert some authority over the situation. it is worth mentioning that aside from the Black blazer, they have Rhonda dressed in slightly darker versions of the the same colours when she gets caught - red high neck top with a darker grey jacket than Maddie’s hoodie!
Maddie in silver and being reflective is actually kind of a jarring outfit for her -and thats rather the point. Its not a colour we see her in and she wears greys infrequently as well - she tends towards a warmer and brighter palette with the accompanying blacks, so this is out of place for her - it highlights her discomfort and actually there is something in the reflecting of that discomfort towards Athena - the one person who knows exactly what Maddie means about not feeling safe or comfortable in ones own home. The metallic top is also reminiscent of plate armour and suggests Maddie is arming her self - getting ready to protect herself iff needed. Its a top that represents her trauma response bubbling beneath the surface ready to reassert itself if needed.
Buck in yet another grey jumper! honestly I’m beginning to wonder how many more grey jumpers they can find for him to wear!! This one is a much lighter grey than we saw him wear in season 5, and its also lighter than any we’ve seen him in so far in season 6. It follows on nicely from the one we saw him in in 6x12 when he was sleeping on Eddies couch and having meaningful conversations in the kitchen late at night! but it is also tv static grey - it has that fuzzy appearance, which in Buck terms means uncertainty and confusion. This is such an interesting choice for this scene and its vitally important for it as well.
This is Buck outright parenting Chris - completely on his own with no Eddie to be seen. The only other times we’ve seen this happen are during the shooting arc and in 4x08 when Chris runs to Buck after Eddie reveals to Chris he has a girlfriend. Before you all shout at me about the tsunami it doesn’t count because Eddie actively sets up that Buck and Chris time on screen, so his influence remains a part of the scene even if he isn’t present (It is also a trauma event and that means it sits separately). The shooting arc sits separately from this new scene and the 4x08 one by virtue of it being a trauma event - like the tsunami. We also know that Buck looking after Chris like this is a common thing from the canon text, however this is one of the few times we’ve seen it on screen and the first time we see it where Eddie is not even remotely present - making it a step up from the 4x08 scene where he is present via the tail end of a phone conversation.
The grey fuzzy jacket Buck wears in the 4x08 scene is darker and the fact the cookie scene has lighter grey is telling about the level of uncertainty Buck is feeling. this scene is one fraught with potential danger for Buck - his choices could anger or alienate Eddie and erode their relationship if he gets it wrong - he could get accused of stepping in where he doesn’t belong. It could also land a critical blow to his relationship with Chris - what he says could upset him or make Chris feel like Buck isn’t supportive etc, it is a fine line Buck has to tread and he does it masterfully here - giving him the confidence going forward. WE see the results of that in the cookie kitchen scene - Buck bantering with Chris and successfully parenting him - and not being good cop! So here we have costume highlighting the development of Buck and Christophers father son relationship!
The Poker Game!!!!
This gets its own little section because there is a lot going on! to start with I’m going to link to this meta about Bucks costume and this one about Eddies costume, because they still, for the most part, ring true. getting the full scene hasn’t really altered my opinions on their costumes per-say. I’ll add a bit more to them once you get to the stills of them!
We have Chief Miranda Williams in a black sequin and slightly sheer waterfall front top with gold jewellery, and Captain Jeshan Mehta in all black with this dark plum striped tie. A very deliberate choice to have the both of them in full black (except the tie). All of the characters wear black in this scene (Julie only has black shoes so kind of doesn’t count and I’ll explain why when we get to her) Both Buck and Eddie are wearing black shirts/turtlenecks and they are the ones with the power in the game (thanks to Bucks new found math skills) while Chief W and Captain M both have seniority in the real world and therefore power of a different kind. I’d even argue that Chief W has the ultimate power because she wises up and allows the boys to have their fun and thus the power remains with her regardless! the use of a waterfall front top is just another subtle reference to the water theme. the purple tie is also a deliberate choice - purple is the combination of the two jackets Buck and Eddie are wearing - red and blue! Purple is a colour of mystery (much like the black they’re all wearing is) but it’s also a colour of enlightenment and understanding our inner most thoughts and feelings. It being worn by Mehta connects this concept to the shooting and Buck and Eddie finally coming to terms with the realities of it and what it means going forward - them acknowledging their feelings etc and what it means for them, both individually and together.
Julie Rosen in a dark teal asymmetric dress with a high front slit and silver jewellery. Ok so things to focus on with this costume are the asymmetry and the colour teal. Asymmetry represents unbalance (for obvious reasons) and there are a couple of ways to interpret that in this scene - obviously things are unbalanced because Buck has an advantage with his math skills. there is also the fact that Julie is in on the hustle (her comment about Buck being bad at math is deliberate and pointed!) which pits the 3 members of the 118 against Chief Williams and Captain Mehta so its 3v2.
Then there is the teal - a colour of clarity, objectivity, support, earnestness and of being true to oneself. the other thing about teal is that it is a combination of blue and green - a combination of Buck and Eddie’s colours! As a side character and one who is in on the hustle, her costume is supposed to give us more information about our main characters and her dress is really doing that!
So here we have a scene centred on them where we have a connected character wearing a colour that is a combination of their individual colours and one which means clarity etc, the return of Captain Mehta whose name literally means crystal clear and Chief Williams - whose first name is Miranda - which means to be wondered at - can they make it any louder that Buddie is happening if they tried???
Well yes actually they can - because I seem to be doing nearly all of the non main characters tonight, lets talk about the croupier as well! Firstly we need to note her location at the table in relation to Buck and Eddie - she sits opposite them and directly in between them. She is wearing a black shirt with a rusty orangey brown rope pattern woven across it.
I know its not red, but this is yet another example of the show making use of what it can to keep the red string of fate metaphor active. Here we have the rope/string twisted and looped, suggesting things are being tied together and because of her location and the implication is that this poker game is ting Buck and Eddie even more closely together (it really is a date even if neither of them actually realise it!!)
We’ve had so many game, cards and fate metaphors thrown at us across the series, but especially this season, now we’re getting to the business end of things. We have all of the metaphors at play in this one scene - the universe screaming at you (as represented by Mehtas presence), the idea of playing a game to win - when you can’t lose, making the most of the hand you’ve been dealt, the gaining of knowledge and it all being tied up together by the red string of fate - represented by the croupier - who is, like I said, sat in front of and between Buck and Eddie - in front of being the operative point (the future)!
Do you want me to go on with all the subtext in this scene?!!
Then we get to Buck and Eddie - Buck sticking to type and rolling up his long sleeves - taking off his jacket and dressing himself down (a nice touch to add to the mini dressing down he gets from Chief Williams!) but him removing the red jacket is symbolic of him stepping back into himself and his normal role - cracking dumb jokes, being a golden retriever and also reasserts his uncertainty about his future - his desire to become a captain - the theme that has been bubbling along all season.
I will make a more full meta post specifically about Buck and Eddies watches, but for now - we get a better still to scream over! The watch that had been more or less hidden under Bucks sleeves for the duration of the poker game, is now revealed to us once Buck has won his steaks. black leather strap and a white face. black and white - things are black and white - time is black and white - its telling us that Buck is no longer in the dark (all his watches have been fully black up to now) and also that there are no grey areas!
Also they just look epically good so why wouldn’t I add in extra pictures of them for us all to appreciate!!
Everything I said about the choice to have Eddie in a turtleneck holds true - thanks to Joaquin Sedillio telling us that they were inspired by George Clooneys look in oceans 11 - a look that was inspired by golden age Hollywood.
I do want to mention the use of texture in the poker scene and this connects into Bucks burgundy velvet jacket. the scene uses texture very deliberately, only Buck and Chief Williams are wearing anything textured - her texture is rough, while Bucks is soft and smooth (as long as you brush it the right way!) they also contrast each other in terms of look - velvet is a very flat texture - its matt and absorbs light, unlike the sequins which bounce light around and sparkle, drawing the eye and reflecting light. it is the absorbing/ reflection aspect that is the mist interesting because it lays into the idea of showy versus understated - and that is actually giving us hints of Bucks growth - before he was all about being showy - bright and bold and going through the whole fake it till you make it thing and seemingly lacking substance. Now though we see a Buck who is more considered - his brush with death has made him less flashy and more internalised. (I also love that this absorbing concept plays on the fact that he ‘absorbed’ a lightning bolt and lived to tell the tale!!). the other thing about the velvet being absorbing is that it places the focus onto Buck - this scene is all about him and he is absorbing the attention (and revealing in it!)
I’ve put the photo above where I have because of the Athena and Buck connection. Athena wearing a reverse of Bucks poker suit - burgundy top black jacket. The Burgundy has the same meaning that we get with Bucks jacket - the deep love and passion and romance - it is telling us that Bathena are very happy and very in love - that its a deep love. The black leather jacket contrasts with Buck as well - it has a more reflective surface - this scene isn’t about Athena, its about Madney.
So we have a reverse parallel going on between Buck and Athena - something we’ve seen at play many times throughout the seasons combined with Bobby wearing a very Eddie shade of green - that khaki shirt is straight out of the Eddie Diaz playbook and isn’t a shade we see Bobby in that often - he’s often dressed in similarly muted shades to Eddie, but they are never that much of an army colour like this one is. In an episode that shows us Bobby and Athena being in love and happy and finding new things out about each other without any children being a part of the narrative. the show is being pretty on the nose about asking us to draw the parallel - especially when we’ve seen Christopher seeking his own independence.
The blue and green of it all
Honestly the amount of blue and green paralleling going on in this episode was insane! I spent a long time uhming and ahhing about how to present this - to put all the green together followed by the blue, or to keep the coupes together! I’m going to keep this fairly brief as this post is already reaching epic proportions (I write in a very scattered manner so thats how its already super long!!)
Green
First thing to note is that the greens get darker as the episode goes on - we start with Eddie in his khaki olive green, only this one is a much lighter shade and tonally has a lot more yellow going on which actually helps connect him to the first dining table scene and his yellow shirt. Its also important to note that he has his blue face watch on - which I’ve started calling his Christopher watch
This henley is the same one we see him wearing when he is at the Grant Nash house talking to Athena about his Abeula and her being taken advantage of - such a choice by the wardrobe team - foreshadowing the poker game hustle as well as playing on the theme of being taken advantage of and of cards (tarot cards!) they really are going to town with very deliberate repeat costumes since 5b!
We should remember that Hen is also sporting green in this episode - a very bright emerald green as well as Denny in army green and Karen in teal green at various points - they all darken within their own separate arc as well as fitting into the wider arc of the episode (see the Wilson family section at the beginning if you want a reminder).
Chimney wearing army green is showing us that he is ready to fight for his family - for Maddie - so that she can feel safe in her home.
And Bobby rounds out the green in a bottle green tee and jacket combo which is verdant and shows that his relationship with Athena is in full bloom.
This use of green getting increasingly darker is something we’ve been seeing at play throughout the season - we’ve had it with Buck, particularly in relation to the sperm donor storyline, but also in connection with Hen as well as its abundance in the coma dream. Like I’ve said a million times green is generally symbolic of growth and what we’re getting with its use in this episode and more widely this season is a deliberate choice to make that growth even more explicit - whatever story arc its connected to - Buck adn the sperm Donor, Hen and her attempts to connect with Denny so she can be a good parent to him and be supportive, or Bobby and his relationship with Athena and how he is getting a better understanding of her and how that is growing his love for her even more.
Blue
The blue doesn’t follow the same linear trajectory as the green - the colour starts dark, lightens up and then heads dark again in the most general sense, but it also brightens as the episode progresses, .
Athena is in both light blue and dark blue here
while in the same scene Bobby is also in dark blue - they are matching and complimenting each other. Dressing them both in blue at the same time is an indicator of shared trust and loyalty.
Chimney has on a blue jumper here,
which he is wearing over this blue check shirt that we see him in later on, so again dark heading slightly lighter. Check theory was working over time with Chimney in this episode - the only time we see him without check is when he’s in green. That is interesting to me - its making me think that the check is telling us that Chimneys home life is stable and happy, but that his work life might be less so - the blue and the fact that we’ve seen him in check in connection with various members of the firefam in the last couple of episodes - Buck post coma, Hen in this episode, and now Bobby when He and Athena come over for dinner.
Bobby is wearing this dusty blue polo after Rhonda has been caught.
I should point out here that Maddie is wearing a dark khaki green tee underneath her bright blue shirt which is a clever hint at the fact that this playdate she has set up is a trap - Maddie is waging war - fighting for her home and the ability to live in it without fear. The bright cobalt blue indicates ingenuity and enlightenment - playing into the trap that has been set for Rhonda. It is also a happy shade of blue - bright and cheerful it ties into the idea of comfort and contentment and indicates Maddie being able to return to feeling happy and secure in her home.
And finally we have Athena in this cobalt blue running tee and gilet - its a brighter blue than the cobalt of Maddie’s shirt, almost royal blue - it still shares the meaning though - enlightenment and happiness. Its telling us that Athena is finding joy in discovering both her enjoyment of running and her enjoyment of haring an activity with her husband. The otehr thing to note is a contniation of Buck and Athena being paralleled - here we have her in a blue gilet when she flirts and insitgates shower sexy times shortly after we’ve seen Buck attend the sex gone wrong call - wearing a gilet - with him then checking in on his previous relationships and hook ups to see if they were satisfied sexually with him - the loudness is getting louder!
Blue is a colour that has been slowly increasing in frequency for Buck and I have a theory about it - bear with me here because we need to look at when he wears the colour - I’m not going to include them all or I’d be her all day - the ones i’ve excluded are either denim shirts/jackets or where blue is one of the colours rather than the only colour of a top!!
Season 1 - Buck and Abby go on a date - the only time we see Buck wear blue in season 1 and its his blue suit (with a white shirt)
Season 2 - Buck wears blue 7 times in season 2 but the two key moments we need to look at come early on in the season 2x01 - the blue henley he’s wearing when he finds Maddie in his apartment - its the first non uniform outfit we see him post Abby leaving and comes after Eddie has been introduced (coincidentally this is the same henley we know we’re going to see Eddie wearing later in the season!). the second one comes in 2x04, when Buck talks to Maddie about Eddie struggling with paperwork to get Chris the help and support he needs (its the boy crush conversation!)
Season 3 - Buck also wears blue 7 times in season 3. The 3 we need to focus on are; 3x04 Bucky talks to Chase Mackey and sues the city, 3x06 Bucks return to the 118 post lawsuit and 3x16 - Buck goes to a bar and meets Red.
Season 4 - the number of blue shirts goes up dramatically to 10 (especially as its a short season) and we’re interested in 6 of them. 4x03 - games night at he Diaz house when Eddie is dismantling technology and Buck has to do some parenting. 4x05 we have 2 - Peru Buck and the blue jacket he wears when Maddie gives him the postcards he sent her over the years. 4x07 Buck tries dating Veronica. 4x12 Buck, Eddie and Taylor discuss the treasure hunt at Bucks loft (petty Eddie drinking beer scene). 4x14 Buck sleeps on Eddies couch and parents Chris after the shooting.
Season 5 Buck wears blue 9 times in season 5 and we’re looking at 5 of them, 5x09 Buck washing up in the loft while Taylor is being distant (pink marigolds scene). 5x11 Buck and Taylor have dinner at the Diaz house - Buck and Eddie argue. 5x13 Maddie’s return from Boston and also Buck breaks down Eddies door and was in the room! 5x18 the blue suit he wears to HenRen’s vow renewal.
Season 6, we’re just over half way through and are already up to 19 blue buck outfits!! the key ones are 6x01 - the lasagne kitchen scene. 6x02 post convention locker room talk with Hen, 6x04 Madney apartment Buck tells Maddie about the year of yes, a second one is the navy top he wears when getting drunk with Hen and then the blue striped shirt when he tells C&K he’ll be their donor. 6x07 there are 3 blue shirts when he fails to donate sperm, 6x09 when he tells the firefam that his sperm has helped C&K get pregnant. 6x11 when he comes home from the hospital post lightning strike. 6x12 while he’s trying to recover at his loft and then a second one when he has is appointment with Dr Salazar. 6x13 the superpowers scene.
Eddie also wears Blue at some key moments
Season 3 - 3x03 post tsunami ‘theres no one in the world I trust more with my son than you’ scene. 3x4 - chris wakes from a nightmare. 3x09 therapy with frank. 3x12 Chris has his skateboarding accident and Eddie shouts at Ana.
Season 4 - 4x08 Eddie introduces Ana to Chris as his girlfriend. 4x14 - the will reveal.
Season 5 - 5x10 Chris has a nightmare. 5x14 dream Eddie in the kitchen serving Chris breakfast. 5x17 talks to Buck about his family - while in Christophers bedroom. 5x18 the suit he wears to HenRen’s vow renewal.
Season 6 - 6x08 dressing Chris for his school dance. 6x09, sleeping on the sofa. 6x13 poker night.
Why have I written all of this out you ask - well because I want to show you how all of these scenes (and the ones I’ve not included in the list also fit the theme) are water finding its level related. They are all very key moments when either Buck or Eddie are finding a new level or at turning points - not only in their relationship with each other, but also with Christopher.
All of Eddies wearing of blue connects to Christopher, until the one from this episode - the first time we see Eddie wearing blue while doing something not related to Christopher. I included the dream sequence Eddie in the list because he literally starts coughing up water.
As for Buck - again most of the scenes (even the ones with Maddie) are connected to Eddie and Chris in some way, even if indirectly (lawsuit I’m looking at you) There are a few exceptions - such as Maddies return from Boston, the vow renewal suit, Buck washing up or the sperm donor ones and obviously the one from season 1! I included the Abby date one because Buck chokes on water in that scene and the Taylor washing up scene - Buck literally has his hands in water. The vow renewal is Buck breaking freed of his bad relationship. As for the sperm donor arc, while not directly connected to Eddie or Chris, the parenting connection is a key one - after all much of Bucks journey to finding his level is connected to the idea of parenthood and dad not donor v donor not dad.
As for the lighter blue specifically - which is a post Taylor exclusive colour for Buck and ties into the theme of deepening ones understanding of self and the growth that comes from that - the idea of choosing to be happy. Buck choosing to break free of his depressing relationship was him choosing himself, choosing to be happy. The post Lev dying conversation Buck has with hen in the locker room is about Bucks search for happiness - about him wanting to be happy for himself. The phone call where he reveals that C&K are pregnant - that is him being happy for his friends, but also him feeling the glow of happiness from being able to help them achieve that pregnancy. The blue top we had him wearing in MacArthur park in last weeks episode is showing him choosing to move on from his brush with death - accepting it for what it is and choosing to be happy (whether that s just happy to be alive - something he was clearly grappling with, or a more generalised happiness remains to be seen) that is why we see him looking contemplative - he is choosing to put that life changing event away and accept it for what it is and the chance it has given him to be happy going forward. This theming holds true for other characters too - Athena in light blue is about her happiness - getting her parents sorted in the aftermath of her fathers stroke is making her happy.
So this new light blue top we have Buck wearing (which is the most reminiscent of the one Lev is wearing) is very much about him being happy - we see the joy he feels at being good at something, the happiness he gets from being with his Diaz boys and sharing in happy banter with them and basking in the glow of being part of a family.
Christopher
I’ve saved Christopher for last this week because he also plays into the Blue and green theming - in fact he straddles across the two colours and that makes him interesting.
Firstly we have this seafoam green tee with a pineapple on the pocket. Not only do we have a pineapple though - no we have a pineapple with a sunset scene in the fruit section. Yes you read that right - it is an actual sunset!!! So here we have a physical embodiment of the sunset theme that has been in play since season 4 - a theme that Christopher has always been connected to indirectly - construction on sunset or Bucks heart drawing with sunset colouring and misunderstanding the assignment - both times when Buck has been babysitting and both in some way connected to Christophers homework - Ana teaching Eddie Math in connection to the first one - making the whole Ana being construction on the way to Buck metaphor even more obvious, especially now in light of this new homework scene with a sunset incorporated in it!
The pineapple itself is also interesting - there are a couple of meaning we can attach to its use here. Historically, pineapples were status symbols - they were a show of wealth due to the difficulty in growing them. those who could afford them would display them prominently at dinner parties and the like to show their wealth. Here Christopher is the wealth - he is the thing both Buck and Eddie place most highly. and the scene we see this top in proves that - Christopher being an active part of their conversation about Bucks newfound superpowers - his opinions and comments are a valuable pat of the conversation to both Eddie and Buck. Christophers inclusion, comfort and confidence in this dynamic is being highlighted here - showing the difference to how he was treated in the dynamic between Eddie Chris and Ana.
The modern pineapple meaning is as an emoji - where it is an indicator of relationship status - meaning ‘its complicated’ Need I say more!!!!
Then we have the blue tee from the kitchen cookie scene. A tee with little surfing skeletons on! I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again. This show is just so so good at using the kids costumes to tell us things. first up the blue - Bucks colour and its important that Chris is wearing it in this scene where he is alone with Buck. I talked about the buck in grey in both the two scenes where he is parenting with out Eddie, well the same rings true for Chris here - he is in blue for both of the scenes (a pale blue long sleeve tee with the dinosaur wearing sunglasses which show space ships in their reflection). then there is the fact that we have surfboards reappearing on Christophers clothing - the surfing thing has always been connected to Buck in some way - both overtly and covertly. Chris was wearing a shirt with surfers on at Bucks recertification party and the last time he wore something surf related (for definite) was in 4x13 - when Carla returned to the Diaz’s and told Eddie to make sure he was following his heart and not Christophers. The other thing to note is that both of those incidents proceeded a major event - the Tsunami and the shooting. this one has skeletons on and thats making me both nervous and excited. We’ve been saying all season that Chris is due some sort of trauma or incident and I’m now very much expecting it to happen in the next two episodes and for it to be something that pushes Buddie even closer together. those Skeletons are (to me at least) suggesting that the current set up of Bucks relationship with Christopher is about to change - that it will become the old version - a dead version and that post event they will have a new and different form of relationship (as in the father-son thing will become more concrete in the same way that Buck and Bobbys has this season) because all of the surfing theming has been used at moments that have really pushed Buck and Christophers dynamic forward and increased the parent-child bond!
The thing with these to colours is that this season especially, we’ve seen Chris wearing shirts that contain both colours a couple of times - both in and out of dream sequences and both connected to parenting.
We have Chris breaking his punishment and Eddie being an amazing dad. This one is especially close in terms of colours to the two shades from this episode and now I have more context for it, the smashing and merging of the two colours would appear to be foreshadowing the merging of Buck and Eddie as coparents.
And coma Chris - who Buck has to chose to ignore/ leave behind. leaving him feeling guilty, but actually showing that he is a good parent to Chris because he recognises that he can only get back to the real one if he abandons this Chris (a chris who is a representation of Bucks own childhood abandonment issues - and therefore it is showing us Buck breaking the cycle)
In summation - the use of costume and colour was so much more out there in terms of helping with the storytelling and ensuring the Buck and Eddie as a couple message was made loud and clear - more than we’ve ever seen before - its been slowly ramping up and now they’ve taken the breaks off!!
Thank you as always for reading - it really does mean the world to me that you're interested in the costuming of our wee woo show!! I’ll shut up now and let you have your lives back. If you’ve made it through the whole thing then you are my MVP and you get this trophy! 🏆 I’m off to rock in the corner now I’ve finished this epic.
I would tag below but it won’t let me (maybe i wrote too many words 😂 so I’ll be reblogging with the tag list!
Until the next episode! 💜💜💜
#kym costume meta#911 costume meta#911 costumes#911 colour theory#kym colour theory#911 on fox#911onfox#911 fox#kym talks costumes#colour theory#its the blue and green of it all!#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#Christopher diaz#athena grant#bobby nash#hen wilson#karen wilson#denny wilson#maddie buckley#chimney han#chief williams#captain mehta
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Part i: Man of God
ex-husband!Geto x fem!reader
summary: Nearly a year and a half after your divorce, Suguru Geto still texts you. You stopped responding after he told you the ridiculous lie that he was a priest a year ago. When he sends a picture of himself in his priest robes, you feel a little guilty about ignoring him all this time.
reader: she/her pronouns, wears a skirt/dress, tits & vagina
pet names: my love
note: I use MC in the place of y/n because I prefer it
cw: religious themes, yandere!Geto
masterlist | ao3 mirror
The church bells chimed like clockwork. Geto continued to page through his bible. He wasn’t reading it, rather going through the motions. No one knew that when that book was open, he was replaying his memories of you rather than reading the contents. It didn’t matter. Ever since you left him, the words brought him no comfort. Not that they did before, but the way his parents always talked about religion felt like there might be some kind of salvation between the pages.
He’d gotten into the habit after filling in at their church. For some reason, they thought they’d raised him to be devout. They didn’t know about the tattoos that covered his arms or the piercings he’d gotten in places they’d never see. They were always telling their priests how kind and dedicated he was, so when they suddenly needed someone to step in, Geto somehow got roped into helping. It was all based on the lies he told them to appease them.
At the time, Geto was at rock bottom. You’d left him only a couple of months prior. Normally he would have said no, but he really needed the break from his old life. His natural charisma made him very popular, and even though he didn’t really know the bible like his parents claimed he did, he found it easy to pick out sermon topics because every day he felt like the Lord was testing him. Just knowing you were out in the world living your life without him killed him inside.
And so, paging through his bible, under the guise of preparing for today’s sermon, he was desperate for some kind of miracle to fall from the pages. Some way to get you back.
The bells chimed again. The church organ played a hymn. Geto sighed and snapped the worn bible closed. This marked one year. 365 days since your last interaction. He opened his phone, scrolling to the last text message from you. He’d just told you he had become a priest, hoping maybe you’d see he’s trying to be a better man. You didn’t believe him. He occasionally texted you even now, trying to keep the lines of communication open, but that was your last response.
One year ago, he started preaching. He felt like such a hypocrite. Not once did he even believe his own words about love and salvation. How could this room of fools listen to such a flawed man? He sighed, setting the bible down.
365 days later, but you were still right. He wasn’t a better man. Maybe he’d gone from a salary man to a priest, but he was certainly no man of God.
Geto walked down the church corridor to begin the sermon. He wore the basic regalia as he strolled down the aisle past the congregation. He might as well have had blinders on as he gave the sermon. It was always the same. He’d say some lofty God-fearing shit, and the congregation ate it up.
He was just going through the motions. In a lot of ways, nothing had changed. Not from a year ago. Not from four months before that when you first told him you wanted a divorce.
He certainly hadn't changed. His heart ached just as much as it did when you said those words. His love for you never faded. It was the only thing that didn't hurt. Or perhaps he'd just deluded himself into thinking that.
Immediately after the sermon, he disappeared into his office again, looking at that tattered bible that offered no salvation. No miracles. And not one way to win you back. He considered opening it. Paging through and thinking of you, like he always did. Like you were the god he’d been praying to all this time.
Instead, he opened his text messages to you again. He briefly looked through his fruitless attempts at conversation. Then he saw your last words again.
MC: You? A priest? That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.
He sighed and typed one more message. Then he deleted it, typing something else. He agonized over what to send, but it just didn’t feel right to leave things like this. Like you were a stranger.
.
Your phone chimed at your Sunday brunch. Seeing who it was from, you immediately swiped the notification away. Geto didn’t text you often, and you hadn’t entertained the idea of replying since the last lie. You didn’t even remember what it was, truth be told. At any rate, you heard he went back to his hometown, so you didn’t know why he kept bugging you.
Just like every time he texted you, the memories came flooding back just from seeing his name. Good memories, sure, but the bad memories came with them. The manipulation. The lies. For all the shit he put you through, your heart still beat a little faster knowing he was thinking about you. It was unfair he still had this hold on you.
You were a little drunk after brunch when you got another text message from Geto. It was probably a bad idea to read it now, but you figured you should just get it over with so you could get him out of your head.
Geto: I guess a normal man would have given up on you a year ago. Sorry it’s a little late.
Attached to the first message was a selfie of him in his priest's robes. You laughed, thinking he looked so different from when you knew him. Although you asked for the divorce and you were the one pushing him away, it still stung a little to think that you didn’t really know him anymore. Then you scrolled down to the next text.
Geto: I have to resign, though. Last chance for a confessional.
You looked at the message, feeling a little melancholy that you missed the entirety of his priest arc. Or rather, you were about to. You glanced at the clock; it was still early. You wondered if you should reply. You didn’t really know what to say. Looking back at the last thing you said though, you felt he deserved a response since it turned out he was telling the truth.
MC: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned…
A silent chuckle escaped your lips as you hit send. Less than a couple of minutes later, your phone rang. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, but you stared in shock at the name on your screen, anyway. You were feeling drunk and nostalgic. If you were in your right mind, you would have ignored the call, but seeing him in his priest's robes made you want to make fun of him a little. You answered the call but immediately fell silent when it connected.
"... MC?" Geto said after a moment. His voice brought back so many memories. So many feelings. And your name… the way he said it didn’t seem to lose any of the tender affection you once remembered.
"Geto." Your voice did the same to him, although as long as it had been since he’d heard you speak, it had been even longer since you used his last name. The gravity of your decision to answer just hit you, and you wondered if this would snowball into something new. Or rather, something old. Something you spent all this time trying to forget. To erase.
"You know you don’t need to be formal with me." He tried to mask his excitement. Just hearing your voice had his heart racing, although you didn’t seem particularly thrilled to be speaking with him.
"I know." There was a pause as you both seemed stuck. You didn’t think he’d call, and he didn’t think you’d answer.
"Why did you call me?" You said after a while.
"Sorry." He chuckled nervously. "Honestly, I thought this would go to voicemail."
"I’m…" There was another pause as you thought about what you should say. Something that wouldn’t topple the walls you’d built between the two of you. "I’m just as surprised as you."
"You’re surprised you answered?" His voice was like the sweetest honey. His tone reminded you of late night pillow talks, the sweet nothings he’d string together as you fell asleep.
"Yeah… I was at brunch earlier, I’m not… sober…" You trailed off, feeling a little stupid now.
Geto laughed. "I miss getting brunch. That’s the first thing I’ll do once my Sundays are free." There was another pause as you waited for him to get to the point. "I, um... I’m moving back to the city."
"Here?" You responded, your heart thumping in your chest. You couldn’t place the emotion.
"Yeah." He sounded sad. "This was a nice detour, but it doesn’t pay much. Dating prospects aren’t any good, either." He laughed.
"Aww," you giggled, "No one wants to date a hot young priest like you anymore? Having an affair would be way more fun than just resigning." There was a silence that made you feel this joke was perhaps a little too much. Of course, he wouldn’t want to talk about dating with his ex.
"Unfortunately, the right person never came along." His tone was still lighthearted, but you had a weird feeling in your heart as he spoke. Like you were better off not knowing who he had in mind- because the "right person" was you.
"You never know. They could come in next week and throw themself at you." You wanted to change the subject, but you didn’t know how.
"That’s doubtful." He chuckled. "I guess fucking in a confessional was on my bucket list for a long time, though, huh?"
"I can’t believe you got the keys to the church and haven’t made it happen yet." You laughed. "You must be pretty rusty." There was another pause, this one longer.
"I was thinking," Geto finally gained the courage to break the silence. "I’d like to meet up when I move back. Just the two of us."
"Geto…" You sighed. You knew this was coming.
"Please, call me Suguru. Like you used to." He interrupted.
"I can’t… We can’t." Your heart ached having to reject him like this. But you’d put so much energy into forgetting the way he made you feel. Even just talking to him over the phone like this made you realize how weak the walls you built were. How easily he could topple them with three little words.
"I… miss you." And there they were, just a murmur from his lips. The silence afterward was deafening. Even so, he waited for a response. Every moment you made him wait was suffocating. Here he was, standing in the church’s office, door locked, talking to his ex just like the heathen he used to be. Like the heathen he still was, deep down.
"Don’t do this to me, Suguru." Your voice was soft. Tinged with a familiar sadness. The very same that consumed Geto. But when you said his first name, it made his heart jump in his chest, bringing him more happiness than your wedding day.
"Would it be too much to ask you to attend my final sermon?" He asked. One more rejection from you would be it. The nail in the coffin. There was another long pause.
"I’m guessing it’s your parents' church? Kinda far from here." You sighed. Just a few hours' travel, but you’d have to stay the night somewhere.
"I’ll get you a hotel." Geto offered. "Just think about it. You don’t have to answer now."
"Okay. I’ll think about it." You relented. It would be kind of funny to see him up there. Not that it was a good enough reason to go out of your way for your ex-husband.
"I’ll let you go, but…" Geto trailed off for a moment. "I just wanted you to know. There isn’t anyone else. There never was." And a short pause told you the words he left out- there never will be.
Your heart ached, if only because deep down you felt the same way. You wanted to give him another chance, but you knew how bad it could be for you.
"Goodbye, Geto." You hung up the phone without waiting for a response.
.
Three years ago.
"I feel bad." You sighed.
"Believe it or not, Nanami will have another birthday next year." Suguru stroked your head as you cuddled against his chest.
"Yeah, but I missed last year, too." You couldn’t even remember the last time you saw him, now that you were thinking about it. "I should text him."
"For what?" You heard your husband scoff. His scent was so comforting, your nude bodies tangled together after your early morning tryst.
"I just feel like I’m losing our friendship. I don’t know." As you spoke, your husband’s gentle touch put your worried mind at ease.
"He doesn’t need you." Suguru’s tone was cold. "You’re just an accessory to him. Something to make him feel less lonely." His grip around your waist tightened. "You don’t need to waste your time on someone like that."
"It’s not a waste." You refuted. "I enjoy spending time with him."
"More than me?" He ran his fingers up your back. There was a short pause. "It’s never just friendship with men. You know that, right? They always want something."
"What are you suggesting?" You looked up at your husband.
"Maybe he has a little crush, I don’t know." Suguru sighed, sitting up. "I don’t trust him. He’s too… persistent with you."
"You know, you could always come with me when I see my friends." You felt cold in the bed with his warmth gone.
"Why?"
So that he could watch you hug them? Fawn over them? Waste your undivided attention on them? No, if he was forced to choose, he’d rather be waiting for you at home. He didn’t want to waste his time on your stupid friends. Friendship was just temporary anyway. Nothing like the unshakeable bond he shared with you.
"It would make me happy," your voice was meek, "if you tried to get along with them."
There was a long pause and Geto smiled, looking back at you. "Of course, my love. I promise, I’ll try." Of course, these were just words to Suguru Geto.
tagging @suget
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Sweet Nothing | Austin Butler x Reader
Pairing: austin butler x singer!f!reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Summary: noticing y/n’s struggle to come up with a final song for her new album, austin offers his help which leads to a trip down memory lane and a whole lot of sweet nothing. based off the song sweet nothing by taylor swift (requested)
Warnings: mild swearing
Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request
A/N: I love this song and I loved writing this fic and that’s really all I have to say. thank you so much to the person who requested this. writing fics based off of taylor’s songs is one of my all time favorite things and I appreciate when people trust me enough to write a fic based off one of their favorites. it truly means the world. enjoy and lmk what you think! love ya’ll so much :) <3
“Dammit,” you mutter, groaning as you slam your hands down on the piano keys. You’ve been at this for hours and nothing, absolutely nothing, is coming to mind when you try to think of lyrics for a new song. At least nothing you can actually use.
All you need is one final song to complete your new album set to come out later this year, but you’ve been struggling immensely to come up with anything. You feel solid with everything else you’ve written thus far for the new record, but you feel like something’s missing, you just don’t know what.
For months you’ve been revisiting your feelings on past relationships and experiences that you’ve never been able to face before. This album has honestly been the most healing and eye opening experience for you. With each finished song you’ve found yourself feeling lighter or more empowered which has been such a surreal experience. For this final song you want to continue that theme of opening up and talking about things that have affected you. But you don’t want it to be heavy like some of the other songs and also don’t want it to be a fun pop-infused track like the rest of them. You want it to be that middle ground. You just wish you knew what that middle ground is.
After a few more minutes of fiddling around with the black and white keys, you hear your boyfriend of six years come in through the front door.
“Hey, baby,” he says as he spots you sitting at the piano in the exact spot he left you in hours ago. “Still working on that song?”
Sighing, you nod your head and rub at your eyes. They’re honestly starting to burn after staring at your notes of random lyrics for so long. You could use a nap right about now.
Austin walks over and places a light hand on one of your shoulders before leaning down and planting a kiss on the top of your head. The action leaves you feeling warm inside and causes a small smile to form at the corner of your mouth. Turning, you look up at him and are met with his pale blue eyes and sweet smile.
“Why don’t I help you? We can work on it together.”
Nodding your head you say, “Yeah, I’d love that.”
Looking around, you try to find something that you can pull up to the piano so Austin can have somewhere to sit. Before you can even glance halfway across the living room though, he’s picking you up by your waist and settling in behind you and placing you on his lap, pulling you back so you’re flush against his chest, his arms wrapped loosely around you.
“Austin!” You giggle, bits of your frustration and struggles already melting away with his presence. “You do realize this stool is not only small but also not that sturdy?”
The blonde hums and you can feel him shrug his shoulders. “At least if it breaks I’ll be the one to hit the ground first. I’ll soften your landin’.”
Rolling your eyes, you chuckle before reaching out for your open notebook. You unhook the pen from the page you left it clipped in and begin to tap lightly on the paper, reading over what little you have on it.
“Do you have any idea what you want this song to be about? Or are you still tryin’ to decide?”
“I guess still trying to decide. I mean you know how special this album has been for me so far.” Unwrapping Austin’s arms from around your waist, you get up and turn yourself around, settling back on your boyfriends lap once you’re face to face. “I just want to keep that feeling going. I don’t know why I’m struggling so much with this. It’s one last song, I’ve dealt with worse pressure and deadlines before I just-I don’t know, it all feels-“
Cutting yourself off, you take a deep breath, suddenly feeling a rush of emotions beginning to bubble to the surface. Maybe it’s the fact you’ve been working for hours or that all of these songs have opened up parts of you you never thought would be open again. Whatever it is, it has you on the brink of tears.
This music has been some of your most vulnerable art yet and you know that there’s a part of you that’s worried it won’t be received well or that it’ll be picked apart. There’s a reason you’ve never closed the chapter on so many of these stories before, your stories. These songs are literally about things and people that have kept you up at night and there’s something awfully scary about releasing something like that, even if you have been doing stuff like this for years. Somehow, it feels different this time.
“Hey, look at me,” Austin cups your face between his hands and tilts his head to try and catch your eyes. He can see the gleam of tears in them and his heart constricts at the sight. He hates the pressure you put on yourself and the pressure other people put on you as well. It’s something the two of you have worked on together over the years, but he knows you still struggle with it deeply, especially with things like this. “I know how important this album is to you and I have no doubt in my mind that you’re gonna figure this out. Forget what anyone else might think, this music is yours and yours alone. Hell, you know you could just throw on a five minute track of you just breathin’ and your fans would think it’s the best damn thing in the world.”
A loud laugh erupts from the back of your throat and you throw your head back, the sound carrying throughout the living room. “How is it you always know the right thing to say?” Wrapping your arms around Austin’s neck, you lean in and rub your nose lightly against his.
“It’s a natural talent, or so I’m told.” The two of you let out breathy laughs before going silent. A beat passes before Austin pulls away slightly. “I just know my girl and I know she’s gonna figure out this song and that it’s gonna be incredible. Just take a breath, sweetheart, it’s just me and you here. You don’t need to worry about all that outside pressure when you’re with me, you know that. I’ve got you.”
It’s impossible to hold back the smile that spreads across your face. Reaching up, you cup the blonde’s jaw in one of your hands and lean in, connecting your lips and quickly falling into a smooth rhythm.
Austin’s lips are soft and warm against your own. Your body practically melts into his, a content feeling coursing through your veins. These moments with your boyfriend, where it’s just the two of you, are some of your most favorite. When you’re with Austin it’s like nothing else matters besides the two of you. The outside world and all the pressure, gossip, and expectations that come with it float away. With Austin, you’re no longer Y/N Y/L/N, you’re just Y/N. In the best way possible he expects nothing from you, unlike previous boyfriends and a large part of the public, all Austin wants is to love and care for you. Honestly that’s all you could ever ask for in a partner.
Trailing your hands down the actor’s chest, you grab onto the pockets of his jacket he has yet to take off, using them to bring him impossibly closer to you. As your fingers settle into the pockets, you pull one hand out as something brushes across it.
Holding the item between two fingers, you break apart from Austin and look down at it, a joyous laugh instantly passing between your lips as you realize what it is. “Aus, no way! I can’t believe you still have this in your pocket!”
“What is it?” Shifting his head down, Austin peers at the small item pinched between your fingers. Recognition flashes across his face and he smirks while shaking his head. “I almost forgot about that! That’s crazy it’s stayed in there all this time, it’s so small, like a firefly.”
Holding it up in the sunlight, your eyes gleam at the small token. The way the sun shines across the smooth surface, it practically does resemble a firefly. To others it may seem like nothing, but to you and Austin it’s a fond memory of one of the few getaways you were able to have without being constantly followed by paparazzi. It’s nothing but a pebble, but the story that goes along with it will always warm your heart.
“Do you remember when we got this?” You ask barely above a whisper, the feelings of the memory already seeping into your mind, a sense of calm and peace settling within you.
“Of course I do. We picked it up last July when we were in Ireland. I remember we found it while playin’ I Spy and walkin’ around the coast one afternoon.” A small smile curves Austin’s lips upwards, the sound of the waves and the feeling of the sun on his skin coming back to him full force.
“It was your turn to guess what I spotted and you picked it up and were so sure that was the thing I was talking about. The smallest pebble in the world amongst a thousand other things and yet you were dead set on making me believe that’s what I saw and that you won.”
Austin’s deep chuckle fills the air as he takes the pebble from your hand. “And I did win. Fair and square and you know it, baby.” The man winks at you before reaching over and placing the pebble on the built in shelf on the wall next to the piano. Dozens of your and Austin’s accomplishments and shared memories line the shelves. It’s one of your favorite parts of the house.
As you stare at the new addition to the collection, an idea comes to mind, a little joke if you will. “I spy with my little tired eye, tiny as a firefly, a pebble that we picked up last July.”
Austin smiles and nudges his head into your neck. “Real specific,” he quips. “Do you think it misses Wicklow sometimes?”
Giggling, you nod your head. “Probably. I know I do. I’d give anything to be back in that town with you again.”
“Me too. We’ll have to go back sometime.” You hum in agreement, the thought seeming really nice.
As you look at your boyfriend and reflect back on that vacation and the thoughts you’ve had since he arrived home, words, no lyrics, start to form in your mind.
Quickly, you untangle yourself from Austin before getting up and turning back around towards the piano. You carefully sit back down on his lap, not wanting to hurt him, and pick up your notebook.
Before your pen even gets a chance to touch the paper, your phone buzzes across the piano’s music shelf.
Picking up your phone, you check to see if it’s anything important. Unfortunately it’s not, it’s merely a news notification that you could’ve sworn you turned off ages ago. Even more unfortunately, the article happens to be about you. Scoffing at the title and the clear absurdity of it all, you hold the device up for Austin to see.
“They said ‘the end is coming’,” you mumble, feeling tired of the constant speculation on not only your career but your relationship with your actor boyfriend as well.
The blonde looks at your phone and rolls his eyes at the bold print he comes across.
EXCLUSIVE! Y/N Y/L/N and the Evident End of Both Her Career and Relationship With Actor Beau Austin Butler!
“Not a chance. Everyone’s up to somethin’, you just gotta stick with what you know and trust that everythin’ will turn out okay. You’re doin’ incredible in your career right now and no matter what anyone says, I’m not goin’ anywhere. You’re it for me, Y/N, no one’s ever gonna be able to compare.”
Austin leans forward and presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder, the feeling making your heart flutter. You scrunch your shoulder up and press your cheek to it, basking in the warmth there as Austin tilts his head down towards you.
“And you wonder why I find myself running home to you every day. How could a girl ever give up a guy that treats her as good as you treat me?”
Nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck, Austin responds, “I could say the same about you, sweetheart.”
Austin kisses your shoulder again quickly before you toss your phone to the side and pick up where you left off. For a while the only sounds audible in the house are the soft breathing of the man behind you and the rapid scribbles of your pen on paper. Despite the pressure you’re dealing with and the sudden unwarranted gossip article interruption, you feel at ease. Just like Austin said you would, you find yourself rapidly coming up with a final song, the man of the hour ironically becoming your inspiration. You should’ve known you’d end up here, there will never be enough songs to describe the love you and the actor share.
“You know what this reminds me of?” Austin mumbles softly as he leans his head on your shoulder, the vibration of his voice sending chills down your back. You hum in response, not trusting your voice. “Remember that one time we were driving home from…somewhere, I don’t know, but suddenly you just got this random idea out of nowhere and started writin’ this poem on a napkin we had in the glove box.”
“I do!” You grin. “It was called Mirrorball and when I finished writing it and showed you, you turned to me and said ‘what a mind!’. You do realize you say that to me all the time? Pretty much anytime I show you something new I write.” You giggle and sneak a glance over your shoulder, melting at the sight of Austin’s sparkling eyes and coy smile.
“Okay but I was right because you ended up turnin’ it into a genius song that’s still one of my favorites of yours to this day. Everyone loves it and yet has no idea it started as a little poem written on a random car napkin. It never fails to blow my mind how you’re able to come up with this stuff. I hope you realize how talented you are. You’re amazing, Y/N, seriously.”
“Austin!” You squeak, heat rising to your cheeks as you become shy over his words. It’s not that you don’t know you’re talented, it’s just the fact there’s someone else who constantly supports you and understands your art as much as you do. Someone who believes in you wholeheartedly and is genuinely in awe over your life’s work. To have someone be honest with you about it all and be unashamed to admit their astonishment over it is really special to you and you appreciate it a lot. “Thank you, truly.”
Your boyfriend smiles kindly at you, understanding completely how you’re feeling. Somehow he’s always able to do that; read your mind in a way, understand all the things you’re trying to say without actually saying them. You’re not sure when this started happening but whenever it was it was natural and just more of a sign to you that you’ve never had anyone quite like Austin in your life before and you know that you never will again.
“I don’t think I say it enough so I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I know being in this relationship hasn’t always been the easiest and who knows what the future will hold, but yet you’ve always stood by me. You don’t let the noise in and are only ever concerned with what’s happening between you and I alone, never what anyone else thinks of us. You know better than anyone that there are times I fear our relationship will crumble or that something will change and you’ll turn out like every other guy I’ve been with. And I know it won’t and I know you aren’t, I know it with my whole heart, and yet sometimes it still happens but you take it in stride.
“You never pressure me about it all or expect me to be someone I’m not. You accept me for who I am and who I’m trying to be without any questions. We’re not perfect and we have our moments, I know that, but there’s truly no one else in this world I’d rather be with. Outside, there’s an endless amount of people pushing and shoving, both metaphorically and physically sometimes, and yet as soon as I step through that front door it stops. I walk in and half the time I find you humming Elvis songs in the kitchen and it’s like nothing else matters. When I’m with you I’m just Y/N. No pressure, no expectations, nothing, and it’s…sweet. I just want you to know how much I appreciate you seeing me for me and that I love you more than you could ever imagine, Austin.”
Instantly you feel the man’s arms tighten around you, his chin settling on the top part of your shoulder as he holds you close. “I did not expect to get emotional today,” he jokes, his voice quavering, a tell tale sign he’s trying to fight back tears. “I don’t know what else to say besides I love you, Y/N, so so much. You don’t ever have to thank me for all of that but I appreciate it just as much as I appreciate you.”
Reaching a hand up, you thread your fingers in Austin’s hair, turning your head so you can lean it against his as the two of you take in this loving moment. You and Austin express your love to each other practically every day, but you can’t remember the last time it was as intense and deep as this. Your heart feels so incredibly full right now and a small part of you is grateful you were struggling with this song because without that frustration, you would’ve never had this moment with the man you love today, and that thought alone seems unbearable.
After some time passes, Austin begins to shift behind you. You watch as he reaches a hand out and grabs your notebook from the piano. He hums as he reads over what you have so far, majority of it based off things you were discussing earlier. His lips twitch happily as he gets further down the page and it’s not long before he asks, “Can you hand me that pen?”
You happily oblige him, intrigued in whatever it is he plans on doing. Austin’s quick with it, he brings the pen up to the top of the page and in an instant he’s finished. After he places the journal back on the piano you take a moment to look over what he wrote. A satisfied sigh escapes you and a smile forms on your lips as you’re met with the most perfect title and the missing words you couldn’t quite place for the refrain.
“Well, I think you just earned yourself some writing credits, Mr. Butler,” you tease, squeezing the hand still wrapped around your waist.
“I guess you’re not the only lyrical genius in this house then, are you?” Austin begins to pepper kisses all around the side of your face which causes you to erupt in a fit of giggles. You squirm against him and a thought flashes in your mind that if this keeps up, the piano bench may actually collapse. But hey, at least you’ll have someone to catch you, to soften the landing, and a part of you feels content in knowing that. Sometimes things happen and you end up getting knocked down, but it’s not so bad when you’ve got someone there to help you get back up.
Luckily, the two of you settle down and get situated. Just as you were earlier, you begin to play around with the piano keys. Based off the lyrics you have so far you feel a soft ballad would be best for this song, not too deep or intense and not too pop-infused; that perfect middle ground.
The notes you begin to play are alright, but you can tell there’s something missing. The beat isn’t quite hitting right as you think about the lyrics in your head, but before you can begin to fuss over it, Austin places one of his hands over yours.
“What if you add this in…”
The blonde’s slender fingers begin to push down on the keys along with yours and soon the space is filled with a tune you immediately fall in love with. Austin continues playing as you slip your hand out from under his and you watch adoringly as he tries to piece together the lyrics with the melody, genuine interest and enjoyment evident in his actions.
You revel in the sight before you, a visual you’ll never quite get over. This has happened before, you and Austin making music together, but each and every time it’s so special to you and you just have a feeling this one’s going to be even more-so.
Glancing at the open journal infront of you, you yet again smile at the title Austin’s written out. He captured the song, the feeling, perfectly.
There’s no other phrase you’d rather use. It all truly is a whole lot of Sweet Nothing.
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler x y/n#austin butler x you#austin butler imagine#austin butler imagines#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler fanfic#austin butler fluff#requested
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The Rose of Dressrosa- Chapter 3
Hello! As always please enjoy the next chapter!
Also, I just started Whole Cake Island and O. M. G.!
Trafalgar D. Law x Fem!Reader
Chapter List
Summary:
After King Riku is dethroned, Doflamingo takes you under his wing and asks you to follow only one strict rule, "do not leave the palace alone". However, your sense of adventure is too great.
Law had only one thing in mind... Revenge. And you seemed like the best way to do that.
Warnings: Dark themes, manipulation, creepy doffy
Note: Gif is not mine. Not Edited.
Word Count: 1.2K
Chapter 3
You entered the bookstore tugging the hood of your cloak as far forward as you could. Once the man at the front desk was unoccupied you walked over to him.
“Hello. I just finished this book,” you set the brown leather back down on the counter. "This is volume two and only has tales of the South Blue and I was hoping to find the one about the Grand Line, you wouldn’t happen to have that one would you?"
“I can check.” He smiled kindly, pulling out the large inventory book. “No ma’am, sorry.” He said after a few minutes of flipping through thin pages.
You purse your lips, “Do you know where I can find it ?”
“May I?” He motioned to the book.
You gave him the book and he flipped to one of the last pages. “Just as I thought. Less than 100 copies were made of each. These books are so rare. Where'd you find this one?”
You opted not to tell him in the palace library but instead, “I used to read the one about the Grand Line when I was a kid. I was really hoping to find that one.”
“Well if you can't find that one there's always volumes one, three, and four out there somewhere” He told her, “You sure the one you used to read was about the Grand Line?”
“Yes. I’m positive.”
“Hmm..” the shopkeeper ran his finger on the inked words, “It says here there are only four books, covering only the East, West, North and South Blues. No Grand Line one. Sorry. We have other adventure stories in our myths and fairytale section. Feel free to browse.”
“Thank you,” You told him feeling your heart sank.
----
Since Doflamingo had taken ownership of Dressrosa, the Kingdom practically ran itself. Everyone in his family had their jobs and he heard no complaints so far. Thanks to his family's combined efforts he could sit in his luxurious office chair and stare out of his large window with no worry in the world.
“Young Master,” a voice rang out in the silence.
“Monet.” Doffy greeted, not looking away from the window. “Report.”
“The money from the weapons deal has finally been transferred to our accounts, and it seems as though Caesar Clown has agreed to study devil fruits as well.”
“That all seems like wonderful news but I can tell there's something else on your mind.”
“Yes.”
“Out with it then.”
“This concerns your Rose.”
“What about her?” Doffy's eyebrows furrowed.
“I think you may be going too soft on her.”
“Do you?” He asked dangerously.
“She’s no longer a child bringing you flowers anymore.” She told him calmly, she paused waiting for a reaction. Monet knew she was walking a fine line. She understood Doffys reasoning behind bringing you into the family, but if you weren’t yielding results during training and you weren't assisting with family duties, what use were you.
When Doffy said nothing she continued, “She's almost eighteen and she has been blatantly disobeying your orders. If this had been anyone else there would have been consequences. You cannot keep giving her special treatment. Especially since she's not really a part of this family.”
That did it. The Warlord rose from his seat, “She is as much part of this family as you or I,” He told the green-haired woman seriously moving over to stand next to the large window with a panoramic view of the west side of the island, “My Rose serves a purpose in a different way. Besides, I've already spoken with her.”
“Really? Then tell me, Young Master,” Monet moved over to stand beside him, “Where is your Rose right now?”
----
When you walk out of the bookstore you glance at the small clock tower.
Shit…
This was taking longer than you had initially thought it would. It may have just been by chance but you were thankful something caught your eye, in the crowd of people and toys, you spot Violet looking around the street. You weren't sure if she was looking for you or not but you were not going to stick around to find out.
Gulping, you enter a cantina whose entrance is in an alley, hoping this would shield you for a while at least until she leaves the area.
“What can I get ya?” the bartender grunts as you sat on the stool.
“Uh-” You weren't much of a drinker, so you glanced at the dirty menu, “A sangria please.” he grunts again before walking away to make your drink.
As he did, your mind wandered back to the book. Were there really only four volumes? And if these books were rare, how did your mother have a copy?
You glance at a clock that was located above one of the risers that held all the glass bottles filled with alcohol and inwardly groaned. You were definitely going to be late to training now. Monet would tell Doffy, and Doffy would not be happy you knew that for sure. Pissing off Doffy was never on your to-do list but he could never stay mad at you for long. Right?
The barman places the drink in front of you, “That’ll be seven berry.”
Your eyes widened at the realization, “Oh, I don’t have any money.”
The large man did not like this, “Then how did you expect to pay for this drink.” he seethed, “Oh I know. Planning on running up a tab, were ya. Hoping to cheat me!”
“No-”
“I’m calling the authorities.”
“Look-”
“Here,” A tattooed hand puts down a large bill, “For her drink, and get me a bottle of whiskey.”
“Thanks,” you say guardedly. Not exactly loving the fact that some stranger had to come to your rescue.
“Don’t mention it.” The stranger sat on the stool next to you. It was at this time he got a better look at you, “You don't seem like the type to be at a place like this.”
“First time for everything,” she said as the bartender brought the tattooed man his glass and a bottle. Looking at him more closely he didn't seem that much older than you. You looked at his hands again, this time actually analyzing his tattoos. Death, his knuckles read.
“You don't seem like someone who's from Dressrosa.” You told him, raising your eyebrows.
“Just passing through.” He smirked, pouring the amber colored liquid into the glass “I’m here on business.”
“Oh yeah, What do you do?” you sounded bored as you sipped your drink.
“I’m a ship's captain,” he stuck a hand out, “Law.” He used his real name. If Doffy didn’t like her out and about on her own, he was positive she would tell no one of their meeting.
This peeked your interest and you shook his hand, “Y/N”. This man was from out of town, you felt safe knowing he would have no idea who you were.
“Y/N,” Law repeated. “Nice to meet you.”
“So if you're a captain,” You say slowly, taking a sip of your drink, “does that mean you’ve actually sailed through the Grand Line?”
You tried not to sound too excited, but you couldn't help it. The thought of a life anywhere other than Dressrosa, it intrigued you.
“Most of it.” Law nodded, “Not many people can say that.”
“Really?! Where have you been?” You didn’t even notice yourself leaning in closer to him. “How many Islands have you been to? Is it true there are Winter Islands?
“Yeah, been to lots too. But I've never been here before.” he told you, before slyly adding, “Maybe you can show me around?”
He watches you smile and he smirks too. This was going to be easy.
Next Chapter
Taglist: @rebeccawinters @mj-airlines @awkwardspontaneity
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clocky & toby
༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶
they’re a complicated duo that fit perfectly within each other’s fucked up jagged puzzle pieces.
I wouldn’t say they’re toxic, just complex and complicated. throwing together two serial killers who most likely have attachment issues (for diff reasons) and anger issues is bound to be slightly rocky at first.
that being said, they never intentionally hurt each other or have malicious intent towards one another. their expression of love is just slightly more complex or strange.
you’ll never hear clocky tell toby she loves him. but, she’ll listen to his rambles for hours on end and carry out any drawing requests he asks. she doesn’t write him love letters and continuously shower him in constant compliments. instead, she’ll maybe splurge a bit of cash to buy him a pocket knife she thinks he’d like. she also has crow like tendencies id say, picking up little bones or rocks in the woods she thinks he’d like. yes, she’s short on words and doesn’t quite know what to say but best believe she is showing her love for him in one way or another.
now for toby, unlike what you would expect and quite literally the opposite of clocky, he knows all the right things to say. but there’s always a time and a place. if he were to say sweet things to her all the time it would become the norm. toby doesn’t want that. he wants his words to convey meaning and genuinely make an impact on her. so on the nights that everything is quiet and maybe they’re sitting by a fire, he’ll lean over and whisper sweet, teeth rotting shit to her. also, love letters. he absolutely lovessss writing her love letters and means every damn word in all three pages. when it’s not words it’s in touches. gentle and almost unnoticeable. of course, she notices every single one though.
now for the complicated part. they have their fair share of fights and some of them get pretty bad. there’s not really a common theme but more so a common route of progression. they both are stubborn as hell and don’t know when to stop so this is where they clash heads. ultimately, they both realize they’re adults and sit to talk the shit out. afterwards, there’s either awkward silence for awhile or toby being… toby.
“you’re so pretty when you’re pissed off, I ever tell you that sweetheart?” “go fuck yourself”
“you know, if you’re jealous just say that.” “i will throw your ass into a table right fucking now.” “try it, bitch.”
“toby if you leave your bloody, sweat soaked clothes in my fucking laundry basket again im going to wreck your shit.” “fuck off dude, you’re always bitching.” “say some wack shit like that again and I will have your head on a fucking stick” “yes ma’am.” (he does it to get a reaction from her, but she knows this teehee)
neither of them take shit from the other and it’s almost perfect, because there’s no sensitivity. but, there’s always a boundary and when they’re crossed is when shit gets twisted. it’s honestly quite rare though because both are smart enough to know what’s appropriate and not.
so, they’re a cute couple (who happen to be serial killers). and no, they don’t kill together because their tactics are too different and they’d stress each other out.
#lockspastatalk#creepypasta#clockwork#ticci toby#ticciwork#toby rogers#natalie ouellette#they’re so cute omg#i love them#clocky & toby
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pac: what do you need to hear right now 🐚
if you are new to pick a pile readings, just take a deep breath and ground yourself and energy, then pick which pile you feel drawn to.
Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a collective reading
I use intuition and my tarot deck
DISCLAIMER: this is for entertainment purposes only. Take everything with a grain of salt.
Pile 1
Cards: page of pentacles, the high priestess rx, the 2 of swords rx, 6 of pentacles in rx, 6 of swords in rx, 9 of wands rx, page of wands
Back of the deck: Ace of wands
Random: 1010, plague mask, captains hat, the brothers sun // charles sun, (the netflix show with michelle yeoh[so good]), a guy sleeping,
Songs:
invisible war - sitti
arthur’s theme (best that you can do) - christopher cross
Hallu pile oneee!!
I have no idea if i’ve just been watching too much netflix, but what first came into my mind was bruce sun from brothers sun. It’s a TV show on netflix. He’s always a reminder to stay soft and use your words. A strong message of don’t let the world harden you just because you are hurt. Don’t hurt others just because they hurt you. Stay soft, but stand your ground. Don’t lose yourself because of other things that are outside your control and influence. Clear things that don’t make you, you. The main message really is don’t lose yourself despite the circumstances you are in. Despite all the hurt, the expectations of others, the opinions of others or whatever you’ve been through, don’t lose yourself. Don’t forget who you are and what you’re capable of.
Overall, nurture yourself and your inner fire. Let it burn. Nurture the fire within you. The fire that makes you, you. Not the fire that others have lit for you. What makes you passionate about the things you like doing? What do you like doping? What makes you happy? Start over again if you have to. It’s never too late for second chances. Find that spark again and let it flourish. Don’t compare where you are to where others are. You are exactly where you are meant to be, even if it means starting all over again. You are never too young or too old to start doing that thing you want.
To do this, set strong foundations for yourself. Be committed and continuously put small efforts that lead towards your success. A small step is bigger than no step at all. And even if you can’t see what’s ahead of you, follow your heart, follow your intuition. Listen to yourself and not your ego of what should be and what could be. Listen to what you want. Don’t doubt yourself.Let go of anything that is really holding you back, like what i’ve mentioned. You have to let go of the expectations of others, the hurt, the opinions of others. And though it is valid, everything you’ve been through is valid, you have to let go. You have to move forward and look to the future. And despite the challenges you might encounter, stay committed. Do the best that you can do with what you have. Rest, but never give up. Don’t beat yourself up too much, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just have fun with it. It’s a very privileged saying however, life is too short to take it too seriously. I guess realistically just have a balance of fun and seriousness. Also, ask for help if you are having a hard time. You don’t have to go through things alone. Just continue to stand your ground. Don’t be swayed by others, let yourself flourish. Stand in your power. Guard your passions. And find small things to fall in love with this passion as you go along your way. And fall deeply in love with it. Romanticize it. Because in the end, you’ll find yourself. As an undying fan of percy jackson books and series, “hold fast. Brave the storm.”
Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫
Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌
If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees
If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄♀️
Pile 2
Cards: the empress, queen of swords, 3 of swords, 8 of wands, 9 of pentacles rx
The back of the deck: the wheel
Random: Walking away with a peace sign, trust, saddle, 222, I keep yawning and I feel heavy, daydreaming, sledding,1515
Song: I couldn’t stick with one, nothing really stuck i think it’s because nothing feels right or worthwhile. Maybe what is needed is silence for a bit to come back to yourself.
Helloo pile 2! Whats upp?
I think overall, have you been pushing yourselves too hard :’) Please if you have to rest and get some sleep. You’re probably wondering when you’ll stop being tired (?) but, you’ve never even caught a breath yet to reflect on everything that has happened to far. You haven’t really felt your emotions in a long time. I feel like you got to listen to what you’re feeling especially if it’s fatigue. It’s time to take it a little bit slower. You’ve been going to fast, and maybe feel like you have to go really fast. I feel like I’m just lying on my bed ready to sleep. I think you should too. Even my brain isn’t working too well right now. I feel really tired as well.
Overall, you need to trust a little. There’s a lot of doubt and the feeling of needing to explain yourself, but no need. Just do things because you want to. Especially if you need to take a break. Just sleep for a while. I feel like you’ve done all you could, now its time to leave it up to fate or the universe or any higher power you believe in. Let it go. Trust the process. You don’t have to be in control of every little detail. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out because maybe there’s something better for you out there. Give some time for yourself, don’t be too hyper focused on one single thing. There are other things in your life that matter as well. And you matter as well. Take good care of yourself. Nurture yourself. If you’ve been through disappointments recently because you feel like you haven’t done enough,let me tell you, you have done enough. You have done more than you know. Now it's time to trust that despite all these disappointments, you’re being guided to where you are meant to be.
Funny enough, I don't feel like I have to say a lot for this pile, but I keep thinking I have to write more for this pile. But, I really don’t feel like I have to write anything anymore. I feel like it’s all enough. I think this is what you may be thinking too, like you haven’t done enough. But i’m here to tell you, you did, and you don’t have to be overworking yourself too much just because of comparisons you make of yourself against others. The message is kind of similar to pile one if i’m being honest here, this time it’s don’t let your comparisons stop you from resting or from thinking you aren’t good enough. Because you’ve already given so much. Too much even. Maybe it’s for faster results or what not, but you’re getting burnt out and you need to rest. Take a break. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’re tired or stressed. Take things slow and one at a time. Just chill and slow down for a sec. Nurture yourself again. Watch comfort shows or films. Listen to music that brings you back. It will get better. You’ll regain your strength once again, just give yourself some time. rest , but never give up.
Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫
Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌
If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees
If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄♀️
Pile 3
Cards: 3 of cups rx, 9 of wands, 10 of pentacles rx, queen of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 4 of swords, temperance, page of pentacles, 9 of cups
Back of the deck: page of swords
Random: banana, a guy holding his head and about to tear out his hair in frustration, dolphins, anchor, exercise, a girl with a hat peeking out the side of a boat breathing in the fresh air, surfing
Song:
So Slow - Freestyle
Hello Pile Threeee!!
Let’s go!! this is my pile for real. You guys are so hyper, yet so chill. HAHA the duality. Anyways, to start reading with the energy, I'm sorry this is very unhinged and TMI HAHA, but my lower abdomen hurts so Idk if you guys are constipated (cos I know I am) or it’s something with your root chakra. The root chakra is blocked when you fear change or just in the constant fight or flight mode. So, I suggest you try clearing this. Though, I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not very sure what the step by step process is like. But, in my not so expert opinion, I would try doing shadow work. Also grounding exercises for your root chakra. But I think it’s best if you guys also do some research on it.
Overall, The main theme here is to explore. To get curious. Try new things, be open to new things. Aaand, I just wanted to say this cos you guys are my favorite kind of people, I hope you continue to be unapologetically yourself. If you have a question, don’t be shy to ask it. If you want to compliment someone, go ahead and do it, I'm pretty sure it’ll make their day. Anyways, what I'm saying is be a little more open to new things that come your way. Explore it in moments and really take it in, like let it all sink in for a bit. Relish it. Stop and smell the flowers for a while. I’m also really getting it to slow down. And ground yourself. I know you guys are hyper (and i love it ngl), but there still needs to be order. There might be so many things swirling in your mind that you’ve lost track and you already feel so confused on what to say and what to do because it’s all over the place. Take things one thing at a time. ground yourself, get to know your thoughts and feelings and be more open with these things that enter your mind. Take it slow. You don’t have to rush. No one is chasing you. You can just chill for a while. Take it a day at a time. Also, take some time out to feel your feelings and notice your thoughts. Explore them some more one step at a time. Take some time to get to know these. Even though my cards were a bit chatty, a lot of them flew out. I needed to tell it only a little cos I'll get confused if it was too much.
In line with being open to new things, I’m guessing you also need to remove the things you don’t need in your life to let these new things into your life. You need to remove it even though you’re afraid. But if it isn’t making you happy anymore or if it’s an item and you aren’t using it, it’s best to let it go my friend. I hope you guys clear the things you don’t need, so the universe can bring you the things you need, and maybe so that you can explore more and get curious about the world, and step out a little bit.
Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫
Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌
If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees
If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄♀️
Pile 4
Cards: 5 of wands, 10 of wands, 5 of swords, the fool, 6 of wands, king of wands, 10 of pentacles in rx, page of swords rx, 8 of swords rx, ace of pentacles
Back of the deck: page of wands
Random: a girl in a maxi skirt standing alone in a deserted place. You probably keep telling yourself to focus.
Hello pile fourr :>>
You guys feel like you’re stuck or stagnant at the moment. Like maybe you have nowhere to go, but you feel like there’s a lot you can do. Maybe before, you were very high achieving. Very ambitious. You did everything and anything you could to achieve something. But your eyes have grown tired. Nothing is giving you the same fulfillment and satisfaction anymore. You feel like you’ve lost all passion for things and are just working on a routine over and over again, and you’re bored. You tried the things that made you fulfilled before, but no bueno. It’s not the same anymore. And there’s no need to feel guilty that you feel like you aren’t doing as much as you would have liked as to. There’s no need to feel guilty if you aren’t chasing the same passions as you once did.
There’s definitely a lot of things that the cards wanted to say if I'm being honest with you. But, It’s too much hehe i’m gonna get confused for real. But the main thing right now is to start fresh. Try new things. Start from scratch. Start from 0 again, and commit to it even if it becomes hard. Only change or switch it up when you can see it isn’t working out or is just bringing you down even more. Just keep trying new things. This pile is similar to pile 3, but more stuck, not knowing what to do. Cos for pile 3, they’re literally gogogogo, and scattered (in a good and bad way) So, keep trying new things and find the one that sticks because out of the many things you can do here, you can’t run out. Don’t stay still, keep moving. If you’re in a desert and can’t see where else to go, of course you have to keep on walking until you find the right place to stay. And you probably won’t get it on the first try,even if I know you really want to speed things up and hurry it up and keep moving forward, you got to try to stick with one first. You got to explore your passions and new things related to it, even if it may seem hard and what not. I know you’re doing what you can right now, and it’s very admirable, and I hope you just keep exploring, and don’t let failures or the need to rush get in the way or keep you stuck in place because you’re the only one doing that to yourself. You won’t be able to get yourself unstuck unless you take action, and pull yourself to try something, and keep on trying even if it doesn’t work, and rest once in a while when you’re tired. And you’re already focused enough btw. If you keep thinking to yourself, “focus”. You are, you just need to explore a bit outside of that “focus”.
I also wanted to say you are not worthless or anything if you feel like the things that give you passion once don’t stick as well. Maybe you just need a break. Try something else, explore new things that make you happy. You don’t have to revolve around one thing all the time. And If you’re worried that you’re losing that passion you loved so much, you're not, you just need some time for the fire to rekindle again. And sometimes that comes in the form of exploring new things.
Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫
Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌
If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees
If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄♀️
#pac readings#general readings#tarot#tarot pac#intuitive readings#intuitive pac#tarot readings#tarotblr#exchange readings#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot pick a pile#tarot pick a card
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So, what is Berserk about after all?
Please be considerate to me, don’t repost this, don’t share it outside of tumblr, don’t copy parts of it, thank you.
I have read really funny critiques and reviews of Berserk. Often they would refer to Miura supposedly saying that he didn’t plan everything out and they would use this statement to support their argument that after the Golden Age arc the story just looked like it dragged on. One, don’t ever fully believe what artists and writers say about their work. Second, without a proper conclusion it is impossible to make that kind of judgement and the story is ongoing. Then, not having a plan or having just vague ideas and taking inspiration here and there isn’t how manga works or how it gets published. When asked in an interview why he started creating Haibane Renmei as a doujinshi, Yoshitoshi Abe replied: “With mainstream publishing, it would've been difficult to do it with that avenue because of this particular approach with everything being adlibbed. I don't know how the story will be developed, how it's going to end up, or what the ending's going to be. If you go to a mainstream publisher, by their general approach, they have to know what the characters are, who they are, what the story's going to be, and how the story's going to develop so they know if there's going to be a serial, continuing storyline. They need to know how it's going to go”. Even though plans can be renewed and renegotiated, Miura still needed to make solid advanced plans and decisions and respect deadlines and page quotas. Even without considering this, the world building of Berserk seems too intentional and coherent to me to think that he didn’t really know how the story would go. Granted he created a reality that could be changed and bent by the human imagination and psyche, from the inside. This happened to be a brilliant choice for a long project like the Berserk manga.
I once read a review that pointed out the weakness of the later arcs and episodes, making the hypothesis that Miura was influenced by the success of stories like One Piece and Pirates of the Caribbean. I can’t really say that I share this opinion, either. Reviews like these make me smile, because they reveal how people missed a very big clue that Miura never really hid. Berserk was inspired by the story of Peter Pan as told by J.M. Barrie and reinterpreted in several different ways, not only visually. He went as far as dedicating to it the Lost Children chapters, immediately after the Eclipse, when the tension of the story was higher than it ever had been. We should read the Lost Children as an homage to the story of Peter Pan and Wendy that plays into the already disquieting themes of the original in darker tones and with much more horrifying elements; but we should also pay great attention to the Lost Children chapters as an important recontextualization of the events of the Golden Age arc. While I want to dedicate proper analysis and attention to this, I am going to add here that in Peter Pan we already had the pirates, the islands with hidden caves and the mermaids. The journey to Skellig island and Elfhelm had to be long enough for Moonlight Boy to make an appearance at least twice before the big reveal of his full identity the third time, and since he can only appear on nights of a full moon, Miura had to make the readers feel that time had passed. But Guts had always belonged in Neverland.
In my rudimentary outline of various elements that contributed greatly in building the world and story of Berserk, I actually ran out of space. And I want to properly address the various points and develop them more. For the moment I just really wanted to show that Miura had a very strong grip over the story and that he was really attentive to nuances. I said to myself, if I want to criticize the writing in Berserk at least I have to make sure I understand it to a sufficient extent.
Also I really wanted to at least give an idea of how important a role Shōjo manga had to Berserk. I hope to be able to fully explore this element soon.
#berserk#berserk meta#kentaro miura#manga analysis#guts berserk#griffith#casca#all the tags because I worked hard on that outline lol#another little bit of groundwork to give context#lost in translation#berserk themes#berserk as a Shōjo manga#eri reads berserk
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The Lie Above Pt. 1 | Yandere!TMNT (2016) x Teen!Reader
The TV loudly played throughout the sewer that had been your home for a few months now. The same theme song that you'd now grown to hate played for the umpteenth time and you found yourself unable to watch what was once your favorite TV show.
You huffed, turning down the volume and picking up a word search book. This would be your 20th one, if you remembered correctly.
Flipping through the pages, you huffed again and threw the book back onto the small table.
You hated this.
You hated when your brothers left, but you understood that it couldn't be helped.
The world was ending outside, above the sewers. A couple months ago, an alien species called the Krang began their colonization of the world. Your brothers were some of the only few left that could help in the rebellion.
And though you understood that they were needed, you wished that your life wasn't so dull. Hiding out was incredibly draining.
You missed your old life.
Your mom and dad.
You used to cry a lot when you first found out they were dead. Leo was the one that told you and Mikey would stay behind to watch after you while you grieved.
The both of you grew close during that time but then you got better and they had to start going out to fight the bad guys.
Sometimes you worried about them.
Speaking of the devil, you heard the telltale sounds of your brothers cheering and whooping as they arrived back to the base.
"Wassup, (Y/N)!" Mikey greeted.
You mustered up a small smile, "Hey."
Raph groaned at your lack of enthusiasm, "Oh no," He groaned, "She's in a sour mood again. You run out of word searches again?"
Leo elbowed him, shooting him a sharp look, "Don't."
"What's troubling you, my little sister?" Mikey asked in a silly tone, coming over to sit by you and drape a green arm over your shoulder, "C'mon, you can tell Big Bro Mikey, ignore the big bad Raph."
“There’s nothing to do down here. You guys are gone for hours and I’m stuck here watching reruns and doing word searches.” You explained, “I need something else to do.”
Donnie hummed at that, taking in what you said with a push of his glasses, “Like what? I’m sure we can find something else for you above ground.”
You shrugged, sliding away from Mikey.
An idea popped into your head and you blurted it out, “What if there was a way I could help you guys out during your missions?”
“No.” Leo responded firmly.
You slumped slightly before continuing, “I don’t mean go out with you guys,” you corrected, “I meant what if Donnie taught me how to use some of his computers? I could be the team’s ‘eye’.”
Then you’d never be bored and know that they’re safe. It was perfect.
“No, (Y/N).”
You furrowed your brows, “Why not? I’m not in the line of fire and I’m actually a part of the team! I could be great help as long as Donnie teaches me!”
The three brothers looked to the leader and Leo only kept his eyes rested on you.
Raph crossed his arms, cocking his head to the side, “Do you really think that you’re smart enough to use Donnie’s computers? Or that Donnie has enough time to teach you?”
Those were good questions but you had answers.
“I’m not smart enough now, but I can learn and you guys can’t go out during the day so that leaves plenty of time for him to teach me.” You felt yourself glowing at how well you answered.
How could they say no now?
"Look, (Y/N)," Leo started with a sigh and you felt yourself slump ever so slightly, "Donnie is already our tech guy. We can't waste time trying to teach you what he already knows."
Donnie nodded sadly in agreement, "Leo's right, (Y/N). Plus, we need to rest up during the day. I can't have a sharp mind on little sleep, y'know?" He chuckled nervously.
"So... I'm just supposed to stay trapped down here doing nothing?!" You asked rhetorically, "You guys can go out and fight in the rebellion but I have to sit down here with no one to talk to and three things to do?" Your arms crossed over your chest, "Yeah, that sounds fair."
Raph scoffed at your display of attitude, "You make it sound like we have fun while we're out there."
"It's better than staying down here," You huffed, unable to stop yourself from speaking out your thoughts, "Sometimes I wish I'd died before I'd met you guys."
You felt a release in your chest. It kind of felt good to get that out. But it also felt bad because you knew it would hurt your brothers.
But maybe you wanted to hurt them. All they ever did was leave you down in the sewers expecting you to greet them with a smile every time they came back. It was only fair that they feel a bit of what you dealt with every day.
There was a stunned silence that surrounded you and you almost said more.
"You don't mean that." Leo told you tightly. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about.
A shrug left you, "Yeah, because Leo always knows the answer." You said with whimsical sarcasm. "Leo always knows what's best, so who gives a fuck what (Y/N) thinks, right?"
"(Y/N)-" Mikey reached out for your shoulder but you stood up.
"Let's just get poor (Y/N) some more puzzle books, that'll shut her up. Let's make sure she doesn't get too close to Mikey because I'm Leo and what I say goes, right?"
Despite how visibly upset you were, Leo's fortitude didn't crack.
"You're obviously upset and saying things you don't mean. Why don't you go cool off in your room?"
Without another word, you beelined straight to your room and slammed the door.
The brothers remained silent for a few more moments until Raph spoke up.
"She read you for filth, huh?" He chuckled.
Mikey snorted at the comment, “Yeah, Leo, that must’ve sucked. I’m glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that one.”
“I don’t know if more word searches is going to fix this.” Donnie thought for a moment, “I can try and get some other TV shows burned on some CDs but who knows how long that’ll hold her over until the next tantrum.”
“We’ll have to talk to her later. Try to help her understand that she’s got no choice but to stay down here.” Leo told his brothers.
“Probably need to make this ‘rebellion’ seem more dangerous than she previously thought.”
With that said, Donnie turned to go to his computers, “Since (Y/N) went to bed early, I’m going to make sure that her parents aren’t still looking for her on the news channel.”
“Good idea. Hopefully they’ll lose hope soon.”
The four brothers went their separate ways and (Y/N) quickly scurried back to her room, heart in her stomach.
What the hell was going on?
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(WIP teaser) Hotline - updated!
Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader
Summary: You and Mikey have been casually seeing each other for a few weeks. After a late night text from him, you make the drunken insomniac executive decision of calling him back. Naughtiness ensues.
Warnings: Mature content - this teaser consists mostly of fluff and flirting (+ blink-and-you-miss-it angst). Mentions of sex (generic), phone sex / flirting, sexual themes, suggestive talk, alcohol consumption, mentions of insomnia. Minors DNI.
A/N: thank you to everyone for the love on my previous fics, and sorry for the delay on this one! It's coming (pun intended), just slower than I anticipated. Life's been hectic. For my fellow literature / classical studies nerds, the quote at the beggining is from the book I am currently reading, "Fire from Heaven" by Mary Renault. Being obsessed with Alexander the Great was not on my 2023 bingo, but neither was Michael Berzatto, so oh well.
His feelings were confused; he wanted to grasp till Alexander's very bones were somehow engulfed within himself, but knew this to be wicked and mad; he would kill anyone who harmed a hair of his head…
… you yawned at the page you’d been reading (i.e., staring at without absorbing a single bit of information) before turning your head to the nightstand and seeing the clock mark 2:49 am.
“Good god”, you whispered, tiredly rubbing your face with one hand, while the other reached for the half-full glass of red wine keeping you company in your insomnia.
Technically, you knew drinking was the last thing you should be doing on a weeknight, when you were having a hard time falling asleep and were expected at work in the morning. But living alone was really not helping you be accountable and behave like a responsible adult with bills to pay. So, you slowly sip your wine, read your book, and hope that eventually your brain will give up and allow you to pass out for at least a few hours.
Suddenly, your phone lights up with a text. Michael B., it says on the screen. A pang of excitement hits you, and you immediately scoff for reacting so earnestly to a text from a guy you’ve been with (not even biblically, just the daytime coffee dates that people with busy lives manage to pack into a crazy week) for a grand total of two times and less than two hours, overall. Not pathetic at all.
Still, you can’t help but reach for the phone.
Hey, I know it’s late and you probably won’t read this until morning, sorry. Wanna have dinner at that spot we talked about? I can pick you up at the office ;) – Mike
You smile, and without really thinking, hit the call button.
He picks up quickly, an amused tone in his voice. “Well, I was not expecting that. What the hell are you still doing up, princess? No work tomorrow?”
You laugh. “God, I wish. I just can’t sleep. Haven’t had one of these nights in a while… my brain won’t shut up, even though I’m so tired I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck”.
“Ooof. That fucking sucks.”
“Yup.”
“Well, I’m glad to be your booty call in this desperate time.”
“Michael”, you laugh so hard you choke on some wine and must set the glass back on the table. “I really don’t think that’s what this is”.
“Oh, no?”, he feigns innocence.
“No…”, chuckling, you continue with the most sultry, mock-seductive voice you can muster “… a booty call is if I was like: Sooo, Mikey… are you, like, busy, right now? Do you wanna… come over? I’m aaall alone…”.
You make sure to put particular emphasis on the word ‘come’ and Mike sounds like he is doubling over with laughter. “That was the worst proposition I have ever heard, no doubt”.
“Oh, yeah? Well, you’re officially off my booty call list. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.”
“Ah, shit… I fucked up now, didn’t I?”, you swear you can hear his grin from the other end of the line. And picture the laugh lines that form on the corner of his eyes when he smiles genuinely, the rare but so cute nose crinkle that makes your belly flutter…
You would love to get a fucking grip, thank you very much, but the wine was certainly not helping you keep a level head in this flirtatious exchange.
“Well… all is not lost. Taking me out to dinner is a good start to redeem yourself. If your game is on point tomorrow, your booty call list status might be revised… in the not-so-far future”, you add, suggestively.
“Shit. Now the stakes are on. I gotta be on my best behavior tomorrow, then”.
“I don’t know about best behavior…”. You wanna slap yourself for your lack of subtlety.
He chuckles. “So… you like them a little nasty, huh?”
You’re glad he can’t see you blush furiously. “Not like that… but I do like a man who isn’t afraid to… take what he wants. Respectfully, of course.”
“Of course… damn, girl. You’re getting me thinking about all sorts of things…”
“Well, you’re the one who started talking about booty calls. It’s technically your fault”.
“That’s fucking rich. I was being a gentleman, sent you a sweet text and all. Not a single sex reference!”, he says, proudly.
“Ok, that is true”, you concede, laughing softly. “Are you still at the restaurant?”
He sighs deeply. “Yeah… paperwork coming out of my eyeballs. I don’t even understand how the hell I organized this mess”. You hear rustling through the line, and imagine the mess of letters, invoices and bills that must be covering his office desk.
“That fucking sucks”.
“Word”. His chair squeaks loudly. “So… what are you wearing?”
You laugh. “You’re unbelievable”.
“What? I’m just trying to keep the conversation light, you know? Nobody wants to hear about my fuckin’ paperwork at 3 am”.
It was subtle, but you could sense something deeper in his words (sadness? self-deprecation?).
“I wouldn’t mind hearing about your ‘fuckin’ paperwork’ at any time of day, Michael”.
The line goes silent, and you fear you went too deep, too soon. Made this weird in record time, wow.
“I didn’t mean it like… I meant if you want to talk to me about your shitty day, you know, you can, but I don’t want you to be uncomf-”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay sweetheart. I get it… thank you for that”, he says, softly. “Maybe some other time. Right now, I honestly just wanna forget about this for a little while... I was really pumped when you called”.
“That’s okay. Really?” You smile, relieved.
“Yeah, really. So… wanna make a guy happy and tell him what you’re wearing?”
With a chuckle, you concede. “Well, nothing. I’m in bed and I sleep naked, so…”.
There’s a heavy pause. “Holy shit. Are you for real?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Jesus, fuck… baby, you can’t say stuff like that and expect me to be normal about it”.
You grin, having just decided that, actually, you wanna play dirty.
“I didn’t ask you to be normal about it”, you throw back, suggestively. “Besides, I hardly think a woman can be held accountable for what she says after four glasses of wine on a Thursday night… naked and alone, in such a big bed…”
“Now, see, that was a much better pitch for a booty call than the first o-”
“I’m gonna hang up.”
“No, no, no, I’m sorry”, he laughs.
“You’re an asshole”. Even as you say it, you’re smiling.
TBC.
#michael berzatto#michael berzatto x reader#mikey berzatto#mikey berzatto x reader#mike berzatto#mike berzatto x reader#the bear#the bear fx#the bear fic#WIP#jon bernthal
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Magnolia Road is Moving + Exciting Projects!
Hi there - Rizu here! It's been about a year since I last posted an update here. Life got really busy and pulled me away from Petz. As life calmed down I had the itch to return to some unfinished petz projects! Here's a look at some of the things I've been working on. The major one being the launch of my new home - Magnolia Road on Neocities! Keep reading for more details!
When I first launched this tumblr blog, I wanted a platform that didn't require a whole lot of set-up to get started. While it has served its usefulness as my first home in the Petz community, I need more room for the amount of content that I'm planning on making.
So I've been quietly working on a complete website overhaul and it's been such a blast. I think it will serve me better as a home for my crew and petz content. For the foreseeable future I am planning on keeping this tumblr for long-form write-ups on Petz things.
Without further ado, check it out here.
Not everything on the website is finished but I've put the 'good enough' stamp on it for now. I'm looking forward to fleshing out the pages more with some exciting content.
On that note...
Projects!
Something that I've wanted to do for a while is to create more custom content for Petz 5. Though Petz 4 is the community favorite, I feel Petz 5 has a lot of nostalgic charm and a lot of potential for quality of life upgrades. Despite Petz 5's glitches and bugs, I've by and large have learned to live around them without too much trouble and largely prefer some aspects of Petz 5 over Petz 4, such as the expanded color palette for playscenes, weather, day/night cycles, being able to carry all the toyz with you, etc.
With the new content that I am working on, I hope to inspire some more love for Petz 5 and make it a more welcoming home for your Petz!
So what am I working on? I've been working on a MASSIVE rework of the Petz 5 playscenes. They are quite dated and an eye-store in some instances.
So here's a sneak peek of what I've got going so far. These are not finished yet so these may change a bit!
I'm going for a Luxury Living theme based off of neutral beiges, greys, and gold, with a touch of rococo. I've painstakingly fixed the window sprites (they're a pixelized mess in the original), replaced the garden backdrop with my renovated back yard (see below), and gave the night scene some gentle spot lighting. No more ugly orange floor and yellow fridge.
Continuing on the Luxury Living theme, the family room gets an upgrade.
This one definitely needs more work before it is done but here's my Cozy Cabin themed room.
I've always disliked the original snow scene in that all the trees look like lifeless lumpy snow blobs. I wanted to bring back some greenery and make the scene look more vibrant. I replaced the really bland skyboxes with more realistic skies, with the night scene featuring an aurora borealis.
Inspired by my love for Lilly Pulitzer prints, this beach remodel is a more colorful upgrade over the original. I've recolored the sand to look more like....sand and less like this weird ugly yellow sand the original had. I'm planning to make a daytime one as well.
Salon upgrade. This one is very incomplete, so expect this one to change a bit. The original dresser is so hideous that it's hard to make it look "better".
And finally, perhaps my pièce de résistance and my most time consuming overhaul was the backyard. The original looks so junky with its broken fence, muted colors, and lack of landscaping. It definitely needed some more life to it. I hope I achieved that with my 4 seasons remake of the back yard. To say it was a challenge is an understatement. I had to make 3 versions for EACH season. Day, night, and stormy versions. So 12 BMPs along with the edited leaf sprites. The fall leaves are not stills - they are recolors of the original animated sprites and move in the actual playscene! I was excited to be able to pull this one off and I'm happy with how it turned out.
And lastly I've reworked the Petz 5 carrying case skin with a template that makes it easy to come up with new carrying case skins quickly.
Here's just one of the many carrying case skins that I have planned. This one matches the pattern featured in the beach remodel.
And there you have it! These are all works in progress and I can't wait to share more updates with you all. As always, thank you for stopping by!
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The Weird Microorganism Iceberg
I basically made this on an impulse, please don’t take it too seriously. Feel free to suggest more organisms!
Explanations under the cut.
Tardigrades: You probably all know this one. Commonly said to be polyextremophiles, but this isn’t actually true; while they can survive extreme conditions, they don’t thrive in them. Something you might not know about them is that all of their body segment genes are equivalent to arthropod head genes — meaning they are basically walking heads.
Demodex: Eyelash mites.
Diatoms: Geometric silicon shell creatures.
Nylon-eating bacteria (Paenarthrobacter ureafaciens KI72): Exactly what it says on the tin.
Myxozoa: Single-celled parasitic cnidarians. Lack digestive systems, circulatory systems, gonads, and even muscles in some species. Also may or may not be autonomous cancer cells.
Thiomargarita: The only macroscopic bacteria. Honorary microorganisms for the purposes of this image.
Wolbachia: Parasitic / mutualistic bacteria genus that has created numerous insect species through their effects on reproduction. (Infected females can become capable of parthenogenesis, while infected males are either killed, turned into females, or limited to reproducing only with females infected by the same strain.)
Deinococcus radiodurans: A bacterium which unofficially holds the title of “most extreme extremophile”. Can survive incredibly high doses of radiation, as well as high acidity and very low temperatures.
Dicyemida: Symbiotic (once mistakenly thought to be parasitic) animals that live in cephalopod kidneys. Have alternation of generations and used to be known as “Rhombozoa” (“rhombus animals”).
Facetotectans: Parasitic crustaceans with an unknown adult form. Attempts to artificially induce metamorphosis only produce another juvenile stage, as far as anyone can tell.
Metal-breathing bacteria: Bacteria which use nanowires to accept electrons from metals.
Limnognathia: One of the smallest animals, and has 15-part extensible jaws.
Disulforudis audaxviator: The only known organism to comprise a single-species ecosystem. Lives over a mile underground and feeds off the byproducts of radioactive decay.
Salinella salve: Possibly nonexistent simple animal, allegedly cultured by Johannes Frenzel in 1892 but never found by anyone else.
Warnowiids (Warnowiaceae): A family of dinoflagellates which have modified some of their organelles into an eye… which somehow works well enough for them to aim their stingers at prey, despite them having no brain (or even other cells) to process the images.
Haloquadratum walsbyi: A square that lives in salt.
Dicopomorpha echmepterygis: The smallest known insect, a parasitoid wasp smaller than a Paramecium.
Hemimastigophora: A group of organisms recently discovered to be an early-splitting branch of the eukaryotes.
Monocercomonoides: A genus of “excavate” “protists” (both terms are polyphyletic, lol) that lack mitochondria… or even the genes for them.
Parakaryon myojinensis: The only complete incertae sedis, for which not even the domain is known. Has an odd mix of eukaryote and prokaryote-like features, leading to speculation that they represent a second incidence of endosymbiosis (aka Eukaryota 2.0). Also my blog’s namesake.
Collodictyon: Considered unclassifiable for a long time. Not really that weird in and of itself, tbh.
Kamera lens: Continuing the theme, this is an alga that has proven weirdly difficult to classify despite having been known for centuries (though it’s been narrowed down to the Ochrophyta). Its funny name makes it a pain to look up.
Jeongeupia sacculi: Recently-discovered multicellular(!) bacterium. Unlike everything else on here, it doesn’t have a Wikipedia page (yet).
Meteora sporadica: “Protist” which moves by rowing with a pair of arm-like appendages. Another difficult-to-classify organism, although a study from earlier this year suggests they are related to the Hemimastigophora.
Kakabekia barghoorniana: Apparent Paleoproterozoic living fossil that looks like an umbrella.
Magosphaera planula: A sphere which splits apart into amoeba-like cells, observed by Ernst Haeckel in 1869. Also possibly nonexistent / misidentified.
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