#time for a grippy sock vacation i think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amara-among-the-stars · 1 year

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Tw//cw//

I could literally disappear and not a single soul would notice.

Im tempted to do it.

I'll miss everyone even if they won't miss me.

It was nice meeting new people.

Im sorry if I annoyed ya'll.

Take care

-Chachi

#chachi speaks #shaking hands with the dark part of my thoughts #time for a grippy sock vacation i think #I'm getting bad again #really bad #maybe i just need to up my depression meds #im sorry.

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ccuriousmischieff · 5 months

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#sometimes I think I shouldn’t make these little posts because one of these times I’ll end up with a grippy sock vacation #anywaaaaaaaaay #you know sometimes when you try to take a selfie and literally the face you’re seeing on the screen isn’t your face like no that’s not me

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joestarfucker420 · 7 months

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i think i would genuinely benefit from being institutionalized

#ashtonstfu #and i don’t mean this in a hehe grippy sock vacation way #i mean it in a very i am struggling mentally lately and i think being around professionals might help #but i can’t because i have school and a job and i will fuck up one or both of those if i did #BUT ON THE FLIPSIDE IF THOSE THINGS WERENT IN MY LIFE RN I DONT THINK ID BE HAVING THIS HARD OF A TIME #and like full disclosure i’m not gonna hurt myself that’s not why i want to go #well okay well i kinda wish i was dead but that’s just a side effect of working with the public #but like #yeah #anyways if you know me you did not see this #a bitch is struggling and yall know this #i’m fine i’m just stressed and unhappy at the current state of my life but i can’t change that til i finish school

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glaivegirl · 1 year

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how to gently dip my toe in the water of talking about constant suicidal thoughts with my therapist

#like i feel like i should mention that theyre dozens of times a day and often pretty serious and hopeful almost #but like i do not think i can afford a grippy sock vacation #even though i may genuinely need one at this point #but also it could become literal hell

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zebulontheplanet · 3 months

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A lot of people don’t know this because I don’t really talk about it, but I’m talking about it today!

I’ve been to three psychiatric hospitals in my life. Three. That’s quite a lot. I went from ages 12 to about 15 maybe younger, and was in for months at a time. People don’t realize how utterly terrifying and traumatizing psych wards are and it shows. If you even dare to say “psych wards aren’t that bad” then get the fuck out cause we had two different experiences.

It’s constant fighting, screaming, violence, sedation, med trials, seeing people getting restrained and getting restrained yourself. I’ve never personally been restrained or had more than a voluntary pill sedative, but still. Seeing those things, witnessing those things, is traumatizing. Seeing constant violence, being in constant fight or flight mode is not fun.

I would never go back, nor do I think I can ever go back due to my current support needs and the fact I need access to constant AAC which a lot of places deny.

I have severe psychiatric issues, and I think it was a good choice that I went when I did, however I will never be the same because of the experiences I went through while there. Yes, I had some good experiences, yes I had some bad experiences.

I’m tired of the constant romanization of psychiatric hospitals. I’m tired of the quirky “grippy sock vacation” shit because like, what the actual fuck? Do you know what psychiatric wards are like? Do you know how traumatizing they can be? Do you know that you can’t show an ounce of misbehavior or you will get in trouble. I couldn’t meltdown, I couldn’t shutdown, I couldn’t show anger, hurt, anything without getting in trouble! That sucks!

Please stop glamorizing it. Stop trying to make it silly and fun because it isn’t and you’re causing real harm. Instead, educate about psychiatric hospitals, tell the truth. Tell your experiences.

This post is not at all to deter people from getting help. If you need help then get help! If you think it’s the best option for you then go for it! Psych hospitals are great for getting stable on medication. That’s what they’re made for. To get you semi stable so they can do outpatient care or residential care.

I’ll speak more on this later but yeah. This was just my current thoughts.

#zebrambles #support needs #mental health #psych ward #psychiatric hospital #actually schizoaffective #actually schizospec #actually mentally ill #long post

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immortalbutterflycos · 1 year

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Things My Younger Sibling Has Said To Me (a Sirius kin) That Give Off Regulus Energy:

"It's fine, I'll just kill your family. Which is myself."

"I'm having FOUR waffles. Because FUCK the government!"

"I'm about to give up on this motherfucker"

"It's an appointment with my psychiatrist -_-"

"Did she do the stretchys?" (about my cat when I told them she woke up from her nap while they were away)

"Dude I'm genuinely considering that grippy sock vacation"

"How pissed would mother be if I did get baker acted? Lmao"

"I ended up having an anxiety attack."

"I can wait. I'll survive off of coffee for now."

"Ugh fiiine what if I were to commit arson?"

*sends me a series of pictures of our cat* "That one is my favorite. I call it Existential Dread."

*talking about going on a date with my friend who I introduced them to* "Do you think this sounds like a good place to eat lunch with Celeste tomorrow?" (this is some Sirius and Regulus behavior if I've ever seen it)

"No I'm just sad"

"YES ITS A MUSEUM! Also, we're in fighting range for Celeste's mother."

"Did I have a breakdown today? Yes, yes absolutely I did."

*before they started actually dating Celeste, definitely drunk* "Dude. I wanna tell Celeste how I feel rn."

"Have the idiots come yet?"

"I wanna scream. Some old guy just told me I would look prettier if I smiled more and I hate it so much."

"Okay, then punch him in the dick."

"Find better friends"

"Do I add, "and I'm gay and wanna date you" or is that too much?"

"WHY AM I SO GAY AND SAD?????!!!!!"

*after meeting my dnd friends (Celeste included) for the first time* "I just realized that I was talking to everyone the way I talk to you, which is basically insults and curse words."

#sirius orion black #regulus arcturus black #sirius black #regulus black #sirius and regulus #the marauders fandom #the marauders #the brightest stars #regulus #sirius #marauders incorrect quotes #james potter kinnie #sirius black kinnie #regulus kinnie #dead gay wizards #and they were siblings #call them brothers #the most noble and ancient house of black

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tatertotpotdish · 11 days

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I've been a housewife pretty consistently for almost 10 years and the one thing I can think of that is going to absolutely wreck these 25 yo tradwives is the fact some days you are going to hate your husband. you are going to resent your family. you are going to look at the man you spend your time caring for and you're going to want to take the big chop chop and just...use it to chop.

and i can deal with that. because i haven't always been a housewife. i've worked and achieved an advanced degree and been in therapy since i was 7. i can deal with these thoughts. but if your whole existence from young adulthood (or even younger) revolves around venerating a partner, those thoughts are going to destroy you. you're going to believe there is something fundamentally wrong with you. you're going to internalize the idea that you're a failure as a woman, as a wife, as a mother. and that is a one-way ticket to a grippy sock vacation where your entire world view will be shattered.

regardless if religion is involved, the psyches of these young women are going to wind up walking a tight rope between SHOULDS and IS. and it's going to ruin them, i think especially for the ones who don't have the encompassing religious traditions that push this narrative but are doing the tradwive thing as a rebellion against feminism.

i don't think enough care is being put into seeing the long-term consequences of the tradwives movement when it comes to mental health. it's all "oh those misguided girls (insert ablist slurs or general woman hating phrases)" but this is going to come back around in 10 years in a hard, hard way. not enough housewives are really telling them the reality of the mental toll this lifestyle can take on you. and that super worries me.

#trad wives #feminism #mental health #no really #i really do hate my husband some days and resent i have creatures to keep alive #and it's totally ok to feel that way

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meaningtotellyou · 20 days

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I saw fans making TTPD grippy socks (for those who don’t know, at least in American hospitals not sure about everywhere else, when you’re at the hospital, especially the psych ward. It became a meme online to need a “grippy sock vacation” aka needing to be admitted). And idk maybe I’m being too sensitive but I feel like making TTTPD grippy socks, specifically relating them to “psych ward socks” is really insensitive and icky?? What do you think? Taylor spent so much time agonizing in the album about her fears of being locked away, and how close she fears she came to actually being admitted so idk I feel like it’s in really bad taste

what the fuck 😭 no this is not normal or okay!! it’s actually super weird! mental illness is not a cool trend and being admitted is not a joke. trust me

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tolerateit · 17 days

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yeah. I'm the person who said they feel uncomfortable in swiftie communities at the moment, and I think that:

nobody is morally obligated to stay with a partner who is bad for them for ANY reason, but also

being mentally ill isn't a moral failing, and it's really shit that people seem so quick to jump to that, AND

people always seem to forget that mental illness is often chronic and complicated and can fluctuate over time. someone can have their symptoms get worse while they're in a relationship and that sucks, but it is just a thing that happens sometimes

people just aren't ready to deal with the reality of mental illness because they've been too busy turning it all into relatable memes (see: "grippy sock vacation" (which is gross!))

THIS! or creating an aesthetic around the romanticizable (if that's even a word lol) aspects of it.

#you ask for the tab*#It's always one obnoxious person making 15 shitposts abt how we should all be “locked up in a psych ward lol” or #making a whole ass moodboard for the asylum imagery like it's cute and pretty and poetic and totally not smthn people have experienced irl

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bahrlee · 22 days

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I feel like we are fully in an era of people thinking that you need to be mentally ill or have trauma to be a good artist. We have been in this era for a long time but it's just been getting worse due to the rise in people romanticizing serious mental illnesses for the sake of "aesthetic" through apps like tik tok. We are now seeing people feel the need to pretend to have all these very serious issues in order make their art seem relatable, or at least exaggerate or water down the problems they do have, further commodifying everything. Its been nothing but sad girl neurospicy delulu schizoposting letting the intrusive thoughts win manic episode dying my hair for months now.

We're still having to debunk myths about artists who's mental health struggles have been turned into a spectacle, about Van Gogh and his struggle with depression and Louis Wains art being progressively "ruined" by the Schizophrenia he never actually had. We are still having to desensationalize the suicides of many musicians from Ian Curtis to Elliot Smith to Kurt Cobain.

On top of all of this now we have a music video of a billionaire singing about her racist ex bf in a fake mental hospital pretending to be chained to her bed while her fans call her new album "soooo grippy sock vacation" unironically.

#i wanted to add stuff abt brian wilson and britney spears and their respective conservatorships #but i didnt know how 🤷‍♀️

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blasphemousxo · 4 months

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For as long as I could remember I had a companion named Baby. She was a teddy bear I got a baby from Osh Kosh B’Gosh. She was white and baby blue pinstriped with a baby blue bow around her neck and on her chest was an embroidered heart that was also baby blue. She was my best friend, I didn’t have very many friends growing up. Probably about 2 or 3 friends. But I had Baby. She went with me everywhere, grandmas house, my dad’s house on the weekends, all the trips my grandparents would take me on. I even would sneak her to school in my backpack. I remember every detail about her. I remember the small tear under one of her arms, the hole in her throat that I believe my grandma patched up for me, and the small glue spot on top of her head. No other toy I connected with so much.

Then one day in July when I was 11, she went missing. We figured I must have dropped her leaving our apartment to go to my grandmas one night. I made missing posters that I hung around my grandmas. My grandma even went dumpster diving at our apartment complex to try and find her. But she was never found. We moved shortly after too. The hope of finding her tucked in a box eventually faded and I accepted she wasn’t coming back. To this day I get misty eyed talking about her.

I spent many, many years searching for a companion like her again. I carried a bear named Buttons that my great grandma gave me. Then it was a Jack Skellington plush doll I got at Disney world. Then a panda my high school girlfriend gave me. But none of them clicked like Baby. When I eventually started making my own money, I really began searching. Buying bears, a lot of the time from Build a Bear, hoping to find the one.

When I was 24 I had that desire came up while I was at work. So in desperation, I went to my local build a bear after work, just to see if I could find someone. They didn’t have anything new, it was December so no real good releases. I spotted the Timeless Teddy, I never liked how they looked on the website but seeing it in person stuffed I thought, I’ll give it a chance. So I picked up my skin and picked out the birthday cake scent and built the bear.

I named him Boris after the line in The Monster Mash, “when you get to my door tell them Boris sent you,” a reference of course to Boris Karloff the original actor for Frankenstein’s monster. I didn’t dress him at first until I ordered a custom Good Guy doll outfit for build a bears. After that, I loved dressing him up in different outfits. Usually he’s in a hoodie or sweater and jeans though. And something just clicked inside me with Boris. After I got him I’d still have the yearning for my companion and buy bears but I always came back to Boris. Even with the new friends I’d get, Boris was still with me. Eventually that desire faded because I realized I found what I was looking for.

He was there for me through some very tough times. He was there while I lived with my abusive ex boyfriend. He was there during my many “grippy sock vacations.” I even sobbed and called my mom when a nurse took him away from me during one of those hospital stays. He knows more about me than anyone. I love everything about him; his matted fur that shows how much love I’ve poured into him, his crooked eyes that I didn’t notice until his fur matted, the comforting way he smells that I can’t tell is from the love I’ve given him or the birthday cake scent still hanging in there or a mix of the two. Even the matted Sherpa fur feels comforting when I rub his little ears or hands.

I still buy bears not in an effort to find a companion though, but because I want them. But most of them I would be fine if I sold or game away or ended up losing somehow. Except Boris. I would be devastated if I lost him. He’s my soul-bear.

I still think of Baby a lot. I know I can never get her back or get back what I had with her. But I can’t help but think maybe she came back to me in a way with Boris. That maybe she led me to him that day. Which I’m sure sounds very silly because these are stuffed animals I’m talking about. But I do believe there’s nothing more powerful than a well loved stuffed animal. Simply from all the love that gets put into them, you bring them to life with that love.

I’m not sure how to end this, I just wanted to share my little story about the bears I love. I hope this resonated with someone at least.

#build a bear #teddy bear #childhood #autism #plushies #stuffed animals #salandria.txt

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aleprouswitch · 8 months

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In October 2011, my mental health was deteriorating for a multitude of reasons and I was actively thinking about killing myself. I told my therapist after a bad episode on my college campus and he suggested a mental health facility that would provide care without insurance. The idea seemed a bit terrifying, but I decided to do it because I was afraid of what I was capable of doing in terms of harming myself.

My mom refused to take me to the facility, so I had to ask a then-friend if he could drive me to the facility to check in on Friday night. He agreed to. Friday night comes, and I try calling him, and I'm getting no answer. Finally he calls me back, and he's hammered. Shitfaced. Three sheets to the fucking wind. Obviously, he can't drive. I am beyond angry and also worried.

I had no other choice but to post on Facebook that yes, I was having a mental health crisis and I needed somebody to drive me to the facility to be admitted. A guy on the local music scene that I barely knew agreed to drive me. He was actually really nice and stayed with me in the lobby until I got called back for admittance. I was asked a big string of questions and signed some paperwork, and that was it.

My phone was taken away from me and I was thrust into Grippy Sock Land. Food was scarce and daily activities were heavily regulated. We had an "art hour" where we were given colored pencils and markers and encouraged to draw. Apparently my drawing was disturbing to the caretakers because of the religious imagery used in it. In truth, the art piece didn't really mean much of anything. We were shown old movies and made to watch infomercials about medications.

I was placed on multiple medications that made me extremely drowsy and I spent hours upon hours sleeping in a room with two beds. The other bed was at first occupied by a woman who appeared to be in her 40s. All she did was cry hysterically and say she needed help over and over. She was eventually removed and sent to another facility. My second roommate was a convicted felon facing another robbery charge. I saw her mugshot not long after release.

The only thing that helped me retain my sanity during those three days was that surprisingly, a friend of mine at the time was admitted during the same weekend, also for suicidal thoughts. My friend was trans but not out yet, and at the time they were married to a man I had known since high school. We found little ways to make each other laugh despite our bleak surroundings, and that gave me hope.

After release, I got my phone back and found that my now ex-friend who was too drunk to take me to be admitted three days earlier had send multiple text messages apologizing for "failing" me. I just rolled my eyes. Another ex-friend messaged me on Facebook about my stay, saying she was "jealous" because I got a "vacation" for a few days. I was so disgusted by her words. Nothing about that experience resembled a "vacation" at all. It was miserable. It was hell.

My co-workers acted scared to talk to me when I returned to work afterward, as if I was volatile and should be approached with caution. My mom never really talked to me about my stay, which I expected. I did get some really nice messages from people I knew, including some musicians I networked with, that made me feel better about my experience and like I did the right thing to help myself.

Twelve years have passed since that ordeal. Almost nobody I was friends with then are still in my life now. Two of the people mentioned in this post sexually assaulted me. Another did something horrible to hurt me in 2013 and I have had them blocked on all social media since. I have never gone back to that mental health facility and I never want to be there again. The lead doctor there was pretty nice, but everyone else made me feel like a circus animal.

I am in the long, arduous process of making sense of my traumatic experiences and maybe that's why I'm writing all of this out. The more removed I am from these experiences, the more fucked up I'm realizing that they were. I deserved kindness and rarely received it during those years. Of course I wasn't perfect and I had problems, but sometimes it really does hit me how everyone in my life was treating me like a burden or something in the way back then.

#personal #life #mental health #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw

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crmsnmth · 6 days

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September Sky Chapter Eight, Part 4

She didn't say anything, and placed her hand right over my heart. I could smell her shampoo. The sweet smell of watermelon candy.

I gritted my teeth and prepared for the question that always plays as a follow-up. Why? Everyone wants to know why, and to be perfectly honest, I don't really have a real answer, or reason. I don't know why I decided that cutting my skin open was some kind of medicine or came to learn razor blades to be comforting and home.

But the question never came. We just laid there, lost in are own thoughts. And I'm not sure, but that may have been worse. I couldn't even guess what she was thinking, which meant that, in my mind, she could only be calculating her escape. I'd been prepared for that moment since that very first drink. I knew someday she'd realize I am way to fucked up and unhealthy to be good in any relationship. The room felt heavy and the air itself seemed to weigh everything down, tightly. It was almost claustrophobic. Silence is a powerful force. I wasn't sure I could take it.

"I was really kind of a stupid kid," I finally said, feeling the strong need to break the silence. It wasn't so much that it was awkward, more like it was suffocating. I really did not want to face yet another anxiety attack. So I broke the silence.

"Huh?" Addison asked and looked at me. Her face seemed lost at thought. I swear I could see a panic in her eyes. A panic that screamed this wasn't worth it. That I was way too much trouble then initially thought. And still, I wouldn't blame her.

"I said I was kind of a stupid kid," repeating my words into the dimly lit room's airspace.

"I wouldn't say stupid. I mean, it seems more troubling then stupid. I just can't understand it. Why someone does it." Her voice was soft, and quiet. It was comforting, and in her tone she created a safe place where this could be talked about as it was, just a bad moment in my history. She could've been a therapist. She would've probably excelled at it.

"I wish I knew. I don't remember how I got the idea that cutting my skin open was a smart and healthy way to cope with depression. I wish could remember," I said. I'd said that whole line before. It was burned into my brain like all the other instant response I had stashed.

"You don't still do it, do you?"

"No. It's been years."

"Good."

The room went silent again. Outside, a car alarm shouted it's annoying sounds out into the night time air. Eventually, it's owner clicked it off. The silence was deafening.

"I was a pretty trouble kid in high school," I said, once again breaking up the silence. "My parents divorced and I watched my family completely implode." My parents divorce did have a major effect on me, but my troubles were started well before my dad walked out on my mom. My brain never worked properly and I spent most of my adolescence in a series of depression. I even got my 'free grippy sock vacation' during this time. I just never stuck around long enough or even followed through which might have saved me a lot of trouble coming in the future. But I was depressed teenager. Who ever heard of such a rarity?

"And it wasn't like I could talk to a friend. I really didn't have any."

"There wasn't anybody?" Addison asked.

"No, not really. The town I grew up in is a very rural farmland type of place. Being a goth kid in high school there was like signing a death warrant. I was picked on every single day by quite a few different kids. I was an easy target. They may be pieces of shit, but let's face it, I make an easy target. I was a guy wearing eye liner and eye shadow, black lipstick. All my clothes were black, and my pants always looked so big."

Addison was giving me her full attention now, and it felt weird. I ever liked being center stage, even during the days of Crazy Chris, or worse yet, in the many bands Chad and I would attempt at starting up. I think there were three or four times we had a full band set up and we'd go to practise and I'd find I couldn't sing. Stage fright, performance anxiety, whatever. I suffered it.

"I'd get the shit kicked out me on a pretty regular schedule. And it wasn't like I could go to the teachers. That may be what the world says to do, but when you're fifteen you know that it isn't a good idea. And I stand by that it isn't a good idea, and usually only makes things a million times worse.. So I took my beatings and the constant namecalling. I think I've been called a faggot in three different languages." I stopped to take a breath. The words were coming out in long sentences. And fast. I had to stop to remind myself to breathe. And to sse if Addison still looked like it mattered. Her face said it did.

"My self-esteem was destroyed. And one day I just got it in my head to cut myself. I don't know ther reason, but the first time the razor cut, it was shallow and only beaded up with blood. I think that was my favorite part of the self-harm era."

"What? Bleeding?" Even as she scrunched her nose up at the very thought of someone enjoying to see themselves blood.

"Kind of, yeah. I liked watching blood leave trails down my arms. For some reason, it made everything else not matter as much. Like any addiction, I enjoyed it at first, but by then end of it, I'm just lucky it didn't kill me." I sighed. Not a sad sigh. Like an "this is almost finished" kind of way.

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jksprincess10 · 3 months

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I think it is time I take a grippy socks vacation

#personal

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anachronistictrash · 6 months

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sometimes it makes me wonder how I've faked it so well and for so long that people think I'm really actually functioning

when I talk to doctors about my head, I get asked when the last time I was hospitalized was, not if, or instead of "you should look into therapy" it's "here's a flyer for an intensive outpatient program, or they have inpatient if you'd prefer, would you like me to call ahead for you?"

during my first appt with my newest psych, she asked me point blank if I was on disability, and I had to explain how I have a full-time job in a professional field, and have been employed without pause since I was 16. she was genuinely surprised.

I'm writing this at my desk right now, because I needed a distraction so I don't go break down in the storage room. I'd love the IOP, thanks, or a grippy sock vacation, but I'm the sole breadwinner and I have bills to pay and don't have the PTO or good insurance.

my coworkers tell me I'm the most positive, cheerful person they know, and they wish they could think more positively like me. that I always brighten the room with my smile.

I'm a husk, withering away behind the mask. an empty cicada shell, discarded in a parking lot.

god, I need a break. I need a break. I need a break.

#vent #this is my vent blog #actuallybipolar #actuallybpd

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nightmareofmenses · 9 months

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I am back from my grippy sock vacation. Quite the experience. Still doing outpatient treatment. Still trying to stay alive

Played DND for the first time in the hospital. It was super fun, kinda overwhelming, I wanna learn so bad. I think that’ll be a good distraction from all the agonies. Might get BG3 and fuck around

Hope my 3 mutuals are doing dandy.

#just happy to be back with chippy #she says to no one who cares

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