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dabislittlemouse · 1 month

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“𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐞…”

Part 2 | Dabi x fem!Reader

CW: yandere themes, some mentions of noncon, gaslighting, manipulation, kidnapping, complicated feelings, stockholm syndrome

SYNOPSIS: you are finally saved from the hands of your captor, who was now locked up, far away from you. But to this day, the memory of him still haunts you in your dreams, still so present in your life, still reminding you that you are his girl.

A/N: here the reader finally decides to read Dabi’s letters, we’re taking it slow guys ;)

Part 1 | REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

Your hands rummaged through the mailbox to grab the letters that were sent from Tartarus. You stared at the envelopes, your chest suddenly feeling tight, for a second you were about to change your mind and throw them away. Though you felt something gnawing inside of you, the guilt and fear of ignoring Dabi, you felt like you were still obliged to him even if he was now locked away, technically out of your life. You must read those letters and you must reply back. You wouldn’t want to anger him would you?

“You know what happens when you make me mad..” Dabi would whisper in your ear, grabbing your wrist tightly. “Don’t get out of my eyesight, I won’t repeat myself twice.”

You vividly remember how that day he had taken you to the shopping mall, wanting to spoil you with nice things since you’d been so good to him lately. Though as you would go through the aisles, staring in awe at the variety of clothes and cute things you could buy, you forgot that you had separated from Dabi, when he had clearly told you not to go too far and wait for him.

“Shall I put ya on a leash and drag you around for you to finally understand?” he scoffed.

“I’m sorry” you mumbled. “I won’t walk away again”

First thing you would always do was apologize of course, because you knew how far Dabi would go. If he said something, he would actually do it. And you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his heinous acts. You remembered how tense you felt, if you had run away and called for help back then, would someone have helped you?

“No” Dabi’s voice echoed in your head. “They would ignore your pleas, leave you there to die, thinking that some righteous hero will come to save you soon. But they don’t care. This is what society has become, rotten to the core.”

This was what he was fighting against, to burn down the whole system, take down the corrupted heroes, and he would passionately talk about it with you, making you part of his bright future.

You shook your head off the thoughts taking over your mind, and opened the envelopes, grabbing the one of the letters.

“My pretty girl,

wonderin’ what you might be doing right in this moment as I write this. Have you been good? Are you inside your little apartment, watching those favorite TV shows of yours? Or are you outside, going to places that I don’t know of? Meeting new people, having fun and all that? Trying to create a new life after our separation, trying to fit back into society…

I bet you are. I wonder how that is going~

As for me, I am sitting here, losing count of days while being surrounded by these four walls 24/7. Kinda boring to be honest, nothin’ much happenin’ around here. You are all I think of baby, and the remains of your pretty face in my memories. My hands are itching to just grab at it and kiss it just how it deserves to be kissed. I gotta admit, this punishment is much worse than being locked up, it hurts a lot baby. Knowing that all this time you haven’t bothered to check on me once…damn, it really hurts a lot~

You like hurting me though don’t cha? I guess it’s fair, knowing the ways I’ve hurt you and marked your body all over. But you know that it was all out of love, right? That’s how I like to express it, just imagining what a piece of art your body looked like whenever you ended up on my hands baby..

Fuck it- even now as I think about it I’m aching, and your pretty mouth, that soft tongue could be the only solution to my problems~

Do you realise how much I crave you? Physically and mentally, look what you do to me princess. And the more you ignore me, the less that fire goes away. I guess distance strengthens relationships don’t you agree? I wonder how you’ve been feeling lately, do you miss me? Just a little bit? I bet ya do~

I miss you a lot. Terribly. I ain’t good with words so that’s how much I can express it. Y’know I’m mostly a man of actions, words don’t do it for me.

You can ignore me all you want, I won’t stop writing you. I know one day you will be sitting down to read these letters, because I know you feel the same fire inside of you that only I ignited. We are made for each other, you are just meant to be mine, never think otherwise.

Waiting patiently for a letter back. Make sure to put something in your envelope as well. A recent picture of you, your perfume, or maybe something else, y’know it~

Yours only,

Dabi.

For a while you stared into nothingness, only the sound of your heartbeats in your ears. The letter was clutched tightly on your hands.

“Fuck..” you whispered, before letting out a breathy laugh. You continued laughing to yourself, all while your eyes filled with tears. You weren’t sure if those tears were tears of anger, sadness, hopelessness, fear, love, maybe altogether.

You were terrified, that was certain. Terrified that he still hasn’t forgotten about you, nor given up on you. Terrified that he still thought that this fucked up relationship was true love, despite all the suffering you endured. Through all those sentences and words, you could feel as if Dabi was right in front of you, you could even hear his voice reading the letter for you. It’s like he had possessed you, like a demon that took place in your body and mind forever.

“This isn’t love..” you mumbled. “This is not love, this is NOT LOVE!”

You screamed at the letter, throwing it away.

“I hate you!” you finally burst into tears. “Why can’t you leave my life?! Why, why, why?!”

Why do I miss you like this?

Have you become addicted to the hurt and pain? Or maybe the way he would hold you close and kiss you and worship you right after he completely broke you, maybe you got addicted to that. You could only imagine his reaction if he knew what you’re feeling.

“Told ya so” he would say with a cocky smirk on his face and his cerulean eyes glaring at you hungrily. “Me and you are meant to be”

The rest of the letters pretty much held the same content, though the more he wrote, the filthier he got. It was clear that he craved you badly, as he sat there alone in the prison cell. You squeezed your thighs shut, swallowing nervously while your body remembered the feeling of his cock thrusting in and out of you, always hitting that one special spot deep inside of you and making you see stars.

Apart from everything, Dabi was sexually frustrated. Hands just weren’t enough for the job, they could never replace the way your wet cunt wrapped so nicely around his aching cock. He was getting off on memories, every day and every night, bringing back on his mind the ways he would take you, softly or roughly, just as he pleased. He loved the way you screamed and cried and begged for him to stop, he got addicted to it, nothing and nobody else could even get him hard anymore.

“Do you still get wet for me baby?” Dabi wrote in one of the letters. “Do you play with yourself late at night while remembering the way I ate that pretty pussy of yours, slurping every remaining juice, licking that sweet clit.. I almost drool as I think about your flavor, need to quench my thirst so bad. Just need to dive in between those plush thighs of yours and devour you all damn night, until it gets too much and you start crying. And even then I won’t stop, cause y’know hearing you cry just gets me off real nice. Yeah I am sadistic like that, you already know it baby. And yet you like me just the way I am, you always feel that thrill, I can tell by the way your pussy fluttered each time I got my hands and fingers on it, each time I left marks on you, my little painslut”

Dabi was sure he had turned you into his little masochist, he trained you to cum only when he inflicted pain on you, and the pleasure mixing with it sent you over the edge.

You took all the letters and made sure to get rid of them, burning all of them until they were nothing but ashes. Though the words written in them never burned away, they planted themselves deep inside of you, not leaving your mind for the rest of the day. As the days went by, you decided to distract yourself as best as you could. Meeting your old friend, going out for a walk, going shopping, karaoke nights, watching movies, going for a drink, you name it. And yet you couldn’t shake off the feeling of emptiness, that in some fucked up way only that monster could fill. How could you be so terrified of someone and yet so addicted at the same time? You were sure it would pass as time went by, but it never did. Your body still held the memories of the past, the nasty burn marks were there, probably would stay there forever too. For some reason you found comfort at the old memories, at the old feelings, the abuse had become a familiar thing to you, and you wanted familiar. The outside world and its people, no matter how much you tried to fit in, it was all foreign, unfamiliar, you didn’t belong there.

You belonged to him only.

“Face your fears” someone used to say. “Once you bravely face your fears, they won’t haunt you anymore. Make it known that you don’t submit to them anymore, they don’t affect you anymore, they don’t scare you. And it will all go away”

Should you face Dabi? Should you tell him right to his face that things between you and him have ended forever, that you now are living a good life, happy, away from him? Would that be a lie? Yes.

“I don’t like it when you lie to me” Dabi used to say. “I can tell when you’re lying baby.. I hate liars”

***

“Two more weeks” the guard said, not turning to look at the prisoner. “The boss said we are at the last steps of preparation. We will finally get you out of here, sir”

Dabi nodded, exhaling the smoke of cigarette. “I am a patient man”

The guard continued. “One of our men informed me that the girl had called the prison yesterday, asking how the visiting hours worked in here”

Dabi quirked a brow, slowly turning his head towards the guard outside of his door. A grin creeped up his face, his eyes widening in pure thrill. “Is that so? Haa, m’getting excited now, seems like the little angel indeed misses me a lot”

He stood up, heading towards the door and peeking through the small window.

“Let me know as soon as she decides to come and visit. Must look decent in front of ‘er”

The guard chuckled.

“Of course, sir”

🏷️ tags: @hunajan @touyalove @murderous-snail @syrenkitsune @baby-tini

#B.writes #dabi #touya todoroki #mha dabi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #dabi x reader #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha smut #dabi smut #bnha smut #yandere x reader #x reader #tw: smoking

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lutawolf · 8 months

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My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 6

If you haven't read my other meta on the show, I suggest you do! You can find them here.

I adore that Segasaki put a tracker on Yoh.

However, it looks as though it was pointless because it's as if Yoh wants to get caught. Slow doesn't even begin to describe this boy.

Now it's finally useful. He has found his man and told him in no uncertain terms to make up an excuse and come back home. Now, if he were an actual slave, he would be unable to say no. If he were deep subservient... He would be unable to say no. I know you normies are thinking, damn. Don't they have rights Luta!? They Don't Want Them! They are not you. For some people, they just don't want to make decisions. Now is Yoh that type of submissive is the question though. Let's see what Yoh does.

I love that Yoh at least has someone on the outside of things he can talk to. She clearly understands Segasaki. I really like the husband. Mickey and Minnie are well suited to each other.

Flashback time!!!

So it all starts in the school cafeteria. OMG, I love how Yoh pauses as soon as he sees Segasaki. Then he has to sit back down because he doesn't know what else to do. His original thought is no longer there. All that encompasses his gray matter is Segasaki. "The first time I saw that person. I thought they might not be from this planet. At least out of all the sculptures that I've ever seen, he's the most beautiful." Then he gives that soft smile. So freaking cute! "The shape of his ears, the line of his nose, the angle of the jawline, the fullness of their lips. Even the shape of their unseen eyeballs must be beautiful."

He then rushes to the store to buy what it will take to draw this beautiful boy. Yoh had it bad right off, but he doesn't understand it himself. Did they really call him loner guy? "If I were a girl, I would have thought it was love at first sight. But it was just a beautiful man." Yoh, you is an idiot. I love you, but you is an idiot. Okay, so he even knows that he is lying to himself. That's fair, we all do it.

I really am not a fan of these people. Loner guy? Really. These people look down on Yoh. Yup, nope, that solidified it. I don't like them.

Bless baby's heart. He is so anxious. I'm in love with Segasaki straight away because I think he fell in love with Yoh pretty fast too. Right off, we see Segasaki easily takes control. The way he tells Yoh, "Let's go." and grabs his arm then backpack to control Yoh's direction and to push him where he wants. He then keeps his hand there.

Right off, they easily drop into a D/s relationship. This is how you would see a D/s relationship develop naturally. Guidelines are always a good but for the fiftieth million time, lifestyle people are different from scene. We are naturally always Dom or always submissive, so we don't turn that off. It's going to naturally be seen even in friendship, but that doesn't mean that a Dom should expect a submissive friend to just listen. A submissive can always put guidelines and boundaries up, but to think that these relationships don't organically happen is ignorant. Yoh is submissive right off the back, just look at how he asks Segasaki if this is okay. Segasaki is Dom right off the bat.

I adore how close they are to each other. Segasaki has no concept of space when it comes to Yoh. Oh, these two. In the way, Segasaki asks Yoh what he is doing. Sees Yoh's indecisiveness, finds a book, and then gives him a command. Fulling expecting Yoh to absolutely tell him what he thinks of the book. "If he were to suddenly despise me, it might be the end of me." Those some deep feelings there.

I can't wait to see Segasaki's side of things!!! We know that Yoh's perception of things are easily distorted by his emotions. He is inclined to having a glass half empty mindset.

Please note, that Yoh as of yet hasn't acknowledged Segasaki's message. The submissive is not listening. We are not looking at a slave or a deep submissive.

Hahaha. Being drunk and clingy are absolutely who he is Mickey my dear.

OMG, This is the best! I'm Dying. I love Segasaki and I love Segasaki's personality and his jealousy. I'm in love with these mother fucking characters oh so much.

The way he stomps over and pulls back the curtains. "You can finish remotely right." I assure you, Segasaki wasn't actually asking a question. Still, Yoh faced with an angry Dom says yes. Said angry, Dom grabs him and begins to pull him away.

Leaving Minnie and Mickey both stunned and impressed. I think Mickey just developed his first guy crush.

Bombastic side eye. Oh damn... Here comes the miscommunication. Yoh is talking about Segasaki and Segasaki is talking about Mickey. Poor baby.

Yoh finds the tracker. Boy knows what that is and tells Segasaki, I put it back where I found it. But Segasaki is pissed. He thinks Yoh likes Mickey. Lawd these two. If they ever learn to communicate.

I can't wait for the next episode!!! I'm so in love with these two!!!

#luta talks my personal weatherman #luta talks taikan yoho #segasaki x yoh #luta talks kink #my personal weatherman #taikan yoho #coconuts mafia

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mattmurdocksscars · 2 years

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Friends?!

Hey all! This is the first snippet of my Fratt x Fem!Reader series. As I mentioned in my other post, this isn’t going to be a cohesive fic, it’s going to be different snapshots into their lives. We’ll see various types of scenes so, as usual, this series is 18+. I hope you all enjoy this first part!

Warnings (For this part): Mentions of wounds and tending to them, cursing, three idiots arguing.

Both Matt and Frank were panting, the extent of their wounds finally catching up to them, as various criminals lay unconscious around them. Frank was sat on the ground, leaning up against the wall, while Matt limped over to him.

“Please tell me you know someone who can help, Red.” Frank muttered. The both of them needed medical care but wouldn’t be able to tend to their own wounds let alone the others. Matt tilted his head back and sighed, clouds of steam billowing from his mouth.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know someone. She’s not gonna be happy though.” Matt grunted as he helped pull Frank to his feet. Matt pulled the other man’s arm over his shoulder and the two of them began to hobble towards an exit.

“Why’s that?”

“Let’s just say she knows about you. Oh, and she only knows me as Daredevil, so please don’t ruin that for me.” Frank chuckled but nodded and then they were on their way.

The rhythmic thudding of your fists hitting the punching bag in front of you was almost drowned out by the music you were listening to. You’d been at it for some time now and sweat made your clothes cling to you. You were working through another round of punches when you heard your door close. There would only be one person coming to your house this late at night.

“D, that you?” You called out, working on unwrapping your hands. You also paused your music and realized that you were hearing two sets of feet in your house. You furrowed your brows.

“Yeah, it’s me and a, uh… friend.” That definitely didn’t seem right, so you tossed aside your wraps and walked to the bedroom door.

And promptly froze in the doorway.

There, standing in your living room was the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and leaning against him?

Frank fucking Castle.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, D!” You began swearing a blue streak at the Devil who at least managed to look a little sheepish. The man beside him was equal parts amused and confused.

“Honestly? Honestly. You brought the fucking Punisher into my house. Him?! Of all people! And a friend? A friend?! You always pick the worst friends, D!”

“I do not, I-“

“He shot you! In the head!” You’re furious and Frank tries to ease the situation.

“To be fair-“

“Shut up!”

“I could always-“

“SHUT UP!” Frank damn near laughs as the both of you cut him off before going back to arguing with each other. He doesn’t miss the way you haven’t moved to kick him out yet though and finds himself trying not to smile. Instead, you move towards what must be a bathroom as you come back holding towels and a med kit. You and Matt are still bickering all the while, and Frank almost feels like he’s intruding on something more intimate than a simple argument. The two of you come to a break and you point angrily at your couch where you’ve set down some towels.

“Sit. Both of you.” Your tone brokers no arguments and so the two men shuffle over and sit down side by side.

“Which one of you is worse off?”

“Red.”

“Frank is.”

They both speak at the same time and you turn your head upwards as if beseeching a higher power. Frank has to try again not to laugh but then Matt speaks again.

“It really is Frank. His wounds are worse.” Frank shoots Matt a dirty look, one you ignore as you kneel in front of Frank. You look him over and assess the damage before getting to work. It’s oddly quiet as you work, neither men wanting to upset you. You work quickly, tending to Frank’s wounds with a efficiency that speaks to many nights of doing this before. Once you’re done with Frank, you move over to Matt.

“You know the drill, D. Off, except for your helmet.” Matt moves to unclasp his armor but when he goes to pull the piece over his head, he hisses in pain. Carefully, you reach forward and help him tug the chest piece up and off while being sure not to dislodge his helmet. Once that’s out of the way, you look him over and tut in disapproval.

“The two of you are a mess. You’re bad enough on your own, D. How’d this happen anyways?” You ask, working on taking care of Matt’s wounds. Frank is silent, unsure what Matt wants you to know, but Matt tells you everything. You listen closely as you work, nodding along to his explanations. Once you finish the last of Matt’s bandages, you lean back and wipe your forehead with your wrist. You take your gloves off next and drop them in the pile of dirty gauze that sits beside you.

“There. You both should be good for tonight. D knows the rules but since you’ve never been here before Castle, I’ll explain them. I patch you up, you stay and rest for a couple of hours. Just long enough for me to make sure you aren’t gonna die on me.” Frank opens his mouth to argue but you cut him off with a dark glare. “No. No arguing. You came to me for help, you follow my rules. You can leave a couple hours before sunrise.”

You stand and stretch, ignoring the discontent on Frank’s face, then start gathering up the used supplies.

“D, you can take the bed and Frank you can take the couch.” You tell them absentmindedly while you carry everything towards the trash. Immediately, both men start to argue.

“I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

“This is unnecessary. Let Red take the couch and I’ll just leave.”

“Hey! No arguing.”

“But where are you going to sleep?” Matt has his hands on his hips in what you call his mom pose. He hates when you call it that but that’s exactly what it looks like.

“I’ve got a sleeping bag. I’ll sleep in my spare room, that way neither of you will bother me when you leave and you can sleep without your mask on without worrying about me seeing you.” Matt doesn’t appreciate that your logic is solid by the look on his face. Frank also looks displeased.

“I’ll take the sleeping bag, Red can take the couch, and you can take your bed. There’s no reason the two of us should get more comfort than you.”

“Except for the fact that you’re both injured and I’m not.”

“I’ve slept in worse places.” Frank grumbled, holding a hand out. “Give me the sleeping bag.”

You narrowed your eyes dangerously and stepped up to him. It didn’t matter that you had to tilt your head back to look at him, you were still a menacing sight.

“D takes the bed. You take the couch. I take the sleeping bag. No. Arguing.” Frank and you stared each other down for several moments before you both heard Matt sigh.

“She’s not going to back down. We may as well do as she says.” Even though you could only see the bottom half of Matt’s face, you could still see the exhaustion in him. You wondered when the last time he’d had a full night’s sleep was but brushed the thought off. He had made it clear that there was nothing between you two. If there was, he would have told you who he was by now. With that thought, you squared your shoulders and stepped away from Frank.

“Go to sleep you two. I’d say see you in the morning but you both better be gone.” Those were the last words you said before you disappeared back into the spare room you’d originally come out of. Frank turned and looked at Matt with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

“Nothin’ Red. Nothin’.”

As predicted, the next morning both men were gone. What was unusual was that you had been carried and placed back in your bed. In a moment of weakness, you buried your head into your pillow and breathed deeply, taking in Matt’s scent.

Maybe one day he would tell you who he was.

Maybe one day he would finally address the tension between the two of you.

But today was not the day and you had bigger things to worry about. Like the Punisher now knowing where you lived and accepting help from you. You shrugged though and got out of bed to begin the day.

After all, what were the chances you’d even see Frank again?

#fratt x reader #matt murdock x reader x frank castle #matt murdock x reader #frank castle x reader

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apocalypticavolition · 5 days

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Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 16: Hunters Three

Another day

Another chapter

Another spoiler warning for the whole Wheel of Time series

This chapter has the lion of Andor icon because we're dealing with the modern generation of the royal family!

Elayne stood in front of the fireplace, arms crossed beneath her breasts and eyes red at least partly from anger.

Lemme get this over with and then I'll probably ignore it unless I don't: where else is she going to put her arms, Mr. Jordan? Above her breasts? Alongside them?

She flushed furiously and banished the image from her mind, willed him to look away from her face.

Really at this point Galad probably at least subconsciously avoids looking at women who are too flustered around him, if he isn't very much aware of what their motivations are and is deliberately avoiding their eye out of kindness.

And after what we went through just to be here, we deserve some explanation of where you’ve been. I would rather let Galad thump me all over the practice yard all day than face Mother again for a single minute.

It's a shame that none of what Morgase must have said about Prince of the Sword and protecting Elayne on the throne and all that must have stuck in the slightest because if it had we all could have been spared a great deal of grief.

The White Tower has become a dangerous place. There have been deaths—murders—with no real explanations. Even some Aes Sedai have been killed, though they have tried to keep that quiet. And I have heard rumors of the Black Ajah, spoken in the Tower itself.

Reading their literature is of course the major reason why Galad joins the Whitecloaks, but I think another part of it is his very simplistic morality being so shaken up by his time in the Tower. Arriving when the place is at its closest to the viper's den the Whitecloaks accuse it of being has to leave a terrible influence on a person.

“You owe her that much, Elayne. You owe me that much. Burn me, you’re being as stubborn as stone. You’ve been gone for months, and all I know about it is that you’ve run afoul of Sheriam. And the only reasons I know that much are because you’ve been crying and you won’t sit down.” Elayne’s indignant stare said he had squandered whatever momentary advantage he might have had.

Gawyn is I think trying to be a good brother but he really can't help but act in that immature kiddy way. Morgase's focus on raising Elayne correctly for the throne seems to have left her boys both ill-equipped for the real world. Another nice flip on gender norms.

Nynaeve returned his smile. “One,” she said.

Oh Nynaeve why are you the best?

“Egwene,” Galad said, “you know that you, especially, can call on me at any time, for anything. I hope you know that.”

Again I think this is setting up for the ending that got discarded along the way because at no point does Egwene ever call in this favor and it feels like she was meant to.

Elayne, if you wish, I can make a salve that will soothe you.

I think this is probably the first time Nynaeve has offered to do such a thing. It's almost certainly because she doesn't think their being punished is remotely fair.

“Of course not, you fool, the way you stare at Galad until your eyes look ready to fall out of your face.” Egwene’s cheeks felt hot, but she was afraid it might well be true.

It's definitely true, Egwene. And hilarious.

“I would rather not talk about that,” Egwene said awkwardly. She did not like lying to Elayne. “She did not say anything that was pleasant.”

Note how Egwene's behavior in this instance is similar to the stuff about Galad that Elayne can't stand. She very much doesn't want to disobey the Amyrlin, won't lie to Elayne about it, and freaks out when Nynaeve wants to.

We need someone with us who they do not know about, and if she isn’t known to the Amyrlin, either, so much the better. I am not sure we can trust the Amyrlin much further than the Black Ajah. She means to use us for her own ends. I mean to see she doesn’t use us up. Can you understand that?

It's a good notion Nynaeve, but I feel like Elayne - the girl everyone now associates with you two, BA or not, is perhaps not the best choice for this secrecy thing? Of course, there really isn't anyone else you can trust.

Seven hundred years ago, at the Battle of Cuallin Dhen, the Andormen were being routed when Queen Modrellein rode, alone and unarmed, carrying the Lion banner into the midst of the Tairen army. The Andormen rallied and attacked once more, to save her, and won the battle. That is the kind of courage expected of the Queen of Andor.

For all of the absolute stupidity of Elayne running around with a weapon in the Last Battle, Queen Modrellein's tactic seems far more stupid. If you're going to ride into battle, learn some kind of weapon! Don't use suicide maneuvers for points!

“There is something else, too,” Nynaeve said. “I am afraid the Amyrlin may mean to let Mat die.”

Real great work on inspiring your allies, Siuan. Just imagine now what might have happened if they had legitimately tried to save Mat and failed - Nynaeve would never forgive any of them. Mesaana wouldn't have time to tear the tower apart.

Mat is just a tool, in the Amyrlin’s eyes. So are we. She will use us to hunt the Black Ajah, but if you break a tool so it cannot be fixed, you don’t weep over it. You just get another one. Both of you had best remember that.

It's an especially important lesson for Egwene, since the high-ranking Aes Sedai want her to be their tool later on... and to a degree, Siuan does too at that point.

“Oh, if we are going to do it,” Elayne said, climbing off the bed, “let’s do it. The longer we talk of it, the more frightened I will become. Mat is in the guest rooms. I do not know which one, but Sheriam told me that much.”

"Yeah we could all three of us die or burn each other out or get corrupted by the metaphysically complex evil of Shadar Logoth, but if we stay in this room another second Elaida might show up and that would be wor- Ah crap here she is."

Next time: No seriously, here she is!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #egwene al'vere #nynaeve al'meara #elayne trakand #gawyn trakand #galad damodred

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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My head has been spinning recently just thinking about the sort of backlash that Laura and Marisha would get from fans if Imogen and Laudna didn't end up together.

For example, I can imagine them roleplaying a conversation in which one of pair reveals they have a crush on someone else in the party, and the other supports them fully in that endeavour. I can only imagine the people who would say "she looked away when she said that line so she's lying!!!" or "they're just denying their feelings for each other"

C3 is the first campaign I've managed to catch live, so I'm not sure if this sort of shipping happened in C2 or C1. I feel like Beau/Yasha would be most likely to have caused similar reactions, but even then, I don't think I've seen this amount of protectiveness over a ship that is this vague. Marisha and Ashley at least made it clear from e1 that their characters had (at the very least, one-sided) romantic interest.

Hi anon,

I've gotten a few questions to this effect and have declined to answer some because it does feel a bit like borrowing trouble, even though I will fully admit some of my private DMs look not unlike this. So I'm going to try to answer this with as much sensitivity and thoroughness as I can despite a number of frustrations (not with you, to be clear) and let this serve as my answer going forward unless anything drastically changes. I am making it non-rebloggable, under a cut, and will be blocking any clownery.

Let's rip off the bandaid right away: for some reason, and I have my theories but they are unconfirmed at in some cases, rather ungenerous, Marisha and Laura's characters have been heavily shipped in all three campaigns despite a chemistry I would call middling at best. I think the most generous way to put it is that while Ashley was working on Blindspot, they were often the only two women at the table (though one must look a bit askance at how Veth is often ignored as a female character, despite unambiguously being one). So I suspect that a lot of it comes from simply wanting an F/F romance between main cast PCs during Campaign 1 and having no good options, and then...remaining fixated on that particular cast dynamic, despite, as stated before, chemistry that has never particularly impressed me.

I did not watch Campaign 1 live, so I don't know what the discourse was at the time. I did watch Campaign 2 live and your prediction is accurate. The ship that caused similar reactions was actually Beau and Jester; you can still find people who claim it was a "mistake" to pursue Beauyasha instead and that Beauyasha "came out of nowhere" and was "for the straights." You are also entirely correct that people will grasp at the weakest of straws to support a ship, though, in all fairness, this is not remotely limited to femslash shippers but is a general shipping problem. (The worst offender during Campaign 2 for that, in my opinion, were people who shipped Caleb and Jester and who became creepily obsessed with Laura's expressions late in the game; that is also incidentally still the ship that I think has the most parallels to Imogen and Laudna in terms of canon character relationship vs. fanon perceptions.)

I do expect that if Imogen and Laudna do not get together, for whatever reason, there will be considerable denial. We've already seen some misplaced vitriol towards Ashton, and the response among shippers towards Imogen has, as I've pointed out over the past two weeks, been wildly inconsistent and deeply ungenerous in a desperate attempt to twist her actions in favor not just of the ship, but towards a highly specific idea of the ship as soft girlfriends against the cruel world, instead of a complicated codependence with the potential for becoming something more. I and others have also pointed out that the ship has gone from "they are already in love" to "a QPR would also be totally cool" which is rather unkind to QPRs.

I should also acknowledge the elephant in the room. I am well aware that I am probably public enemy number one on the Imogen/Laudna server where they come up with such bon mots as "bone-dry takes". I suspect this is because I genuinely enjoy both Imogen and Laudna as individual characters and write about them a lot, but in doing so, acknowledge the cracks and tension within their relationship. So on some level, even though the ship could absolutely still happen, they've already kind of started with some of the behaviors you mention, which is rather disappointing.

Anyway, I think this is all to say that this is a general problem in shipping across the board that is not confined to Imogen and Laudna nor F/F ships, but because that specific ship is both, as you say, vague, and yet has an extremely popular and extremely narrow fanon interpretation, it's in particular focus this campaign. I think you're correct that there will be backlash should it not happen, though I would be pleasantly surprised and deeply humbled if there is not. Fortunately I have found that Critical Role is fairly impervious to fandom backlash in terms of the decisions they make in-game, because let's face it, people will push back on anything, including such necessary parts of story as "dramatic tension" and "conflict." If you listened to them you would make the world's shittiest story, and because there are frequently multiple conflicting ships, you can't please everyone. I'm here to watch a story, and I do think ships are intrinsically part of character arcs, so if the ships serve the characters, whatever they are, I think it will be a worthwhile endeavor.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag

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kirimoochi · 11 months

Text

4 — PAPER PLANE.

₊˚ ᗢ synopsis; getting over breakups is difficult. after your partner leaves you, you find comfort in your friends. when you least expected it, your childhood friend kazuha pulls you from the darkness.

⤷genres; modern college au, romance, and angst.

⤷masterlist; here.

The blond-haired man lowered the windows, staring out in front of him as you leaned your head against the side of the car. Your eyes were still puffy and teary, though not as terrible as before. You’ve rubbed the edges too much to the point it has been stained red. He holds his breath for a moment, bobbing his leg up and down at the stoplight as the night draws near. Next to your leg was a bag of McDonald’s fries that you haven’t touched since leaving the drive-thru. You still felt sick to your stomach, and the thought of eating wasn’t processing in your mind as well as the heartbreak.

He squeezes the steering wheel, anxiously waiting for the light to turn green. The car was playing his Spotify playlist, filled with tons and tons of love songs that you try to ignore. They masked your sniffles just enough for him to be unaware when you’re about to cry. He understands that heartbreak is not an easy thing to swallow.

He has had his fair share of relationships in the past. He’s learned that people fall into two categories: people who want to fix others, and those wanting or needing to be fixed. This idealogy has followed him since his first relationship in high school with a classmate of his. He attempted to “help” them out of their depression and previous relationship, only to end up feeling exhausted and whittled away.

He considered himself the “fixer” because he was attracted to people who needed help. He always felt the need to bring someone up. It made him feel just as good. Though he understands now that this was no healthy lifestyle to be living, and that the search to help others may never end well. It was in his nature though. His kind-hearted nature to want the best for others despite it being the worst for him.

It was a constant cycle that he was acutely aware of.

He worries that the only reason why he is beside you today is because he wants to fix you. He wants to repair your broken heart and bring you back up to where you belong. He knows this is wrong though. And that the feelings he holds for you far surpass the desire to “fix” you. You were not meant to be fixed, nor were you meant to be the fixer. You exist for yourself. You should at the very least. He doesn’t want you to think his sympathy and efforts are just his way of worming into your heart.

You were not ready to be in another relationship. You need time, space, and love to heal. He knows this very well. He’s been on your end and has seen you countless times in this state of need. When the light turned green, he continued forward, steering the car in different directions until you were following a straight line. He heard your soft sniffles and the way your hands would raise themselves to hide your tears.

“Do you want me to drop you off at your apartment?” He asked, out of respect for your feelings he does not turn to look at you. There were a few cars out tonight. Not as many as there would be in the day, but enough for him to feel weary about being hit. You wrapped your arms around yourself, hugging your body as open windows causes you to shiver. “Ayaka and Yoimiya must be worried about you. Did you tell them what happened?”

You haven’t told your roommates about your departure. They’ve called you and texted you a few times to which you would give dry replies. They didn’t know that you and your partner had broken up. And you weren’t sure when you’d ever tell them the truth.

You press your lips tightly together before shaking your head. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to tell them because they’d get worried, and I’d feel awkward. I wouldn’t want them to look at me differently. I talked about my partner a lot and I just…”

“I’m scared that talking to them might open the wound.” This was partially true.

You were indeed scared that when you open up to them about your recent breakup, you’d be forced to remember the old memories that have now soured. However, what you were truly afraid of was the shame that came with it. You thought it was pitiful that after half a year of being with someone, half a year of constantly talking about how you loved them, and how you want to see them more often, they would leave you.

“I see. That’s fine by me,” He continues to drive. “You could stay at my place until you feel better. Gorou wouldn’t mind the extra company. I don’t think it would be comfortable for you to sleep on the couch so… You could just sleep in my room for now.”

You pick at your nails, “I think I intruded enough. You should keep your bed, I’m fine with the couch. It’s a lot more comfortable than you think.”

“Oh really?” You listen to him chuckle, “I wouldn’t want you to sleep there though. You never know if there are snacks hidden beneath the cushions. Scaramouche likes to eat chips on there. His friend Childe comes over often as well for drinks. You shouldn’t worry about that now, I’m just throwing it out there. The only people at the apartment right now are me and Gorou. Scaramouche is on a roadtrip.”

A huff escapes you. Scaramouche? You were honestly astonished that he was still living in the apartment with him. Do not get it wrong, you were sure he was a kind man at heart, though not to the same degree as Kazuha. You only knew that after leaving his mother’s company, he needed a place to stay and that Kazuha, his seatmate was the singular person who offered to split the rent.

You and he were on neutral terms. Shared a few classes but never talked. However, you always had the sneaking suspicion that he and Kazuha talked about things that were outside of your reach. You weren’t sure how to describe it. Whenever you and Kazuha hang out during lunch or passing periods, he gives you a bit of a stink eye.

“Are you… upset at me?” He nearly hits the brake when he hears this news.

Upset? At you? He taps his fingers on the steering wheel. Should he be mad at you? If he were to ask his friend Scaramouche what to do in this situation, he might tell him that you were trying to get into his head. He’s always been the cautious man. It doesn’t surprise him that he might tell him that you were desperate and needed a rebound. But he doesn’t want to believe in such nonsense.

He wouldn’t get mad at you. You’ve done a lot for him in the past and he is grateful. He thinks that it would be wrong to ignore you in your time of need. It wasn’t about feelings or romance, it was about the friendship that he has long kept with you. You just need time. Someone to listen to your problems. Someone who can lend a shoulder for you to cry on when nights get long.

“No. I am not mad,” Kazuha makes a right turn. “Everyone has their moments. I’m not going to fault you for feeling this way. You’ve invested a lot into the relationship, and you tried your very best, but things just didn’t work out. It’ll be okay.”

You straightened out your back. Was it truly okay? You’ve heard countless times by others that if you loved something you should fight for it. If you lost, what then? Weren’t you the terrible person for being an unforgivable partner? You’ve crossed the line many times. You’ve done things that you can’t take back anymore.

You can’t keep playing the victim and acting like everything is fine when it's clear it’s not. You believe that there has to be more done to you. You deserved to be left behind. Abandoned by everyone else. You couldn’t stand being alone yet you can’t even be with others.

You can’t be using Kazuha like this. You shouldn’t be shielding yourself from the harsh realities of your problems. However, what could you do? What was the point of beating yourself up? Would you gain anything from it? You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure about a lot of things. You knew that you were being unreasonable and that punishing yourself wasn’t the right answer.

No matter how much you hate yourself, you won’t be able to move forward without acknowledging your mistakes. And yet, even when you do acknowledge them, you feel terrible. You feel like hurting yourself or putting yourself down because you think you deserve it.

You let out a sigh. “It doesn’t feel okay.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I feel like I'm a terrible person. I ruined the relationship and… I made a lot of mistakes along the way.” You squeeze the fabric of your clothes, your eyes beginning to tear up. “I keep watching those dumb Instagram reels… all those relationship advice videos, they make me feel like I’m the problem. Like I deserve to be left behind or something.”

“Things aren’t always that black and white,” He clarifies, “There is a lot more to relationships than just that.”

“But!”

“But? There are no buts. You just need to know that things aren’t as simple as they seem to be. Relationships are hard, it’s a two-way street. You did everything you could to make things right, but they wanted to move on. The right thing to do is to move forward on your own. You have to learn from your mistakes.”

There was some truth to his words. It’s not right for you to feel hung up over someone who no longer wanted to try. You did give it your all, and you should feel proud that you were at least acknowledging your mistakes. You were taking the right steps to improve. You just need to give yourself a chance, Kazuha thinks, looking at your shivering body.

“Are you cold?”

“...Sort of.”

He pulls up the window before deciding to stop on the side of the road. He wasn’t too far from his apartment now. There wasn’t much more he had to drive. He just wanted to take a breather. The stress of his classes was beginning to take a toll on him. Having you around and worrying about you wasn’t helping much either. However, he would never tell you the second part out of fear of pushing you away.

Unbuckling the seatbelt, he reaches out to the back, pulling out a blanket and wrapping it over you. You clutch onto the soft fabric as you slowly bring it close to your face. It smells like his cologne. You wonder if he always kept a blanket in the back. Did he sleep a lot when driving? Or did he have someone else in the car?

“I always keep one in the back for emergencies,” It seemed like he read your mind. Was it the childhood friend's telepathy? “I always wash it, so don’t worry about it having puke or anything on it.”

“I wasn’t thinking of that but… okay,” You laugh for the first time in a while. Kazuha could feel his ears grow slightly red as he breathes a sigh of relief. He’s glad that for a moment, you were able to at least enjoy a small bit of this night with him. “Does Gorou have a weak alcohol tolerance?”

He scratches the back of his neck, “Not really. I think he’s quite good with it despite what he says. I’ve driven him back from a couple of parties a few times, but he’s never thrown up before.”

“I always thought of him as someone being bad with alcohol. Maybe on your level,” You giggle into the back of your hand.

“You think I’m still bad at alcohol? I’m getting better.”

“By how much?”

“Not much.”

You lean back on the chair, staring at him with your head tilted slightly to the side. He has to admit that despite the dreary night, you looked at peace here. You were distracting yourself with a few of his words. Was it working as well as he wanted?

“Thank you, Kazuha,” You start, closing your eyes.

You try not to get distracted by the sudden intrusion of the song, ‘Are You Bored Yet’ playing in the background. It seemed so cheesy that you had to resist the urge of mentioning it. He still played this song even to this day? You were impressed. You only remember hearing this song when he first found it in high school, and now the two of you were college students. You push your tongue against the front of your teeth as you inhaled deeply.

“You didn’t have to do any of this for me. It’s just a silly breakup. I was just… the stupid one for getting caught up in my feelings.” You wipe away at a stray tear that had slipped. Your voice was cracking slightly as you forced out words of gratitude.

“I don’t think it was much. You need someone to talk to and I don’t mind it if I’m that person. We’ve known each other for years after all. It’d be quite irresponsible of me to abandon you.” He made it sound so easy to be there for you.

“You don’t have to do this much for me. I’m already sort of… intruding and everything,” Before you could blurt out any more words, Kazuha stops you by pressing a french fry against your lips. Your eyes widen and you stare into his autumn-colored irises with an expression of confusion.

“Just eat your fries. They’re going to get stale if you keep putting them off.”

#₊˚ ᗢ kirimoochi #₊˚ ᗢ canvas #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha kaedehara x reader #kazuha #kazuha x reader

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 5 months

Note

i'm so happy you liked it!!! wow, you're just as insane as I am. life is good. our thoughts are in sync. the tragedy that speaks to the core. thank YOU. it's refreshing to let your slightly crazy thoughts out there and be welcomed. im absolutely insane for their dynamic (im dying to live this). you have no idea (im losing it). i personally think gojo would be relieved once he's king, he's in control now, it's natural to him. there are more possibilities and he's so prepared. but you know what? becoming king has its duties and one of them is that prince!gojo's hand has been promised before he was born. i wonder how he'd cope with that knowing he belongs to someone else. i like to think he'd rebel and refuse the marriage completely (for personal, selfish reasons), but again he isn't childish in the sense of ignoring politics completely, yes? behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this. he knows how to navigate the world and understands that his decisions can have massive political impact (and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is). i think this might be one of the moments in his life where he'll be the most conflicted. but he'd play nice and polite when his fiance comes to visit him (i think due to gojo's natural disdain for his fiance, casual visits would be encouraged a few weeks before marriage). the first sting of jealousy knight!reader feels and oh. that's when they realize the nature of their feelings for prince!gojo. that it goes a little beyond what they thought. their dynamic might shift a little, things become uncertain and confused. knight!reader might dissociate between it all, not allowing selfish feelings to get in the way. and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. but his heart is somewhere else, it belongs to someone else for fucking sake!!! can't anyone see that? their first kiss would probably happen during this time I think. i can see him finding knight!reader at night, carrying the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders. and when his eyes land on them relief washes over him. soft moonlight shyly on knight's confused face asking 'satoru, are you okay?' vulnerability! comfort! home! because they belong to each other deeply, a mere look on each others face is enough to understand something is wrong. the kiss!! his little act of rebellion. he's so proud of it after, it's cute af. can you see? the blushing and all!! difficult times, ah the hurt!! at the end,,, i think ruling by himself is much gojo like, right? it would be somewhat controversial and there would be implications but to him it wouldn't be fair to fill a promise he didn't make, plus he's committed to his knight!reader already. ye? he'd learn so much and mature during this period as well. he'd find strength in his love and his love alone. it fills him with a supernatural sense of responsibility that he finally understands that knight!reader went through (though only a little, as he doesn't get his hands dirty nor commit acts of violence (i hope he does, sincerely)). and yess,,, sorry, it was too much again. or if it doesnt resonate with you, haha. omg. i am simply happy in my element talking to you. yes, uhm. you can call me momo/crazymomo if thats ok? it was supposed to be 'crazymomo' but i guess it kind got f'ed up in the way and i just didnt care about fixing it. im bringing you cake ok!!!!!

HI MOMOOO u r feeding us yet again!!!!! and same same same, its so fun to be insane together i appreciate u sm <333 mickey rlly is a genius bc ive never seen a character/reader dynamic thats caused as much insanity as knight!reader & prince!gojo they had me in a chokehold from the get-go

and OHHH these thoughts momo!!!! so tasty and interesting, i lovelovelove hearing more abt how u interpret them!! when it comes to dynamics like these i feel like everyone has their own take on them at least to some degree and i think its SOSO fun to compare!!!!

BUT OKOK let me get thru this!!! i had so much fun reading this and thinking abt it, u brought up so many things i hadnt considered yet!!

OK SO. king!gojo…… after some contemplation i think i definitely agree w u momo. i feel like satoru relaxes once he has the throne. its tough and a huge responsibility, a weight on his shoulders, but its no longer hanging over him as a burden he’ll one day have to bear, its something he’s gained and grown used to and i think he earnestly loves making a change in the society he lives in. and!! i think he is soso loved. i see him as the type to visit poorer villages all the time, financially support struggling mothers, speak to their babies and hold them all gently HES JUST SO… hes such a good man im gonna be sick. ABSOLUTELY helps all orphans he comes across they may or may not remind him of a certain knight so he cant bear to look away from them

(i do think he still longs to run away w knight!reader tho…. its just a nice daydream to him atp bc its impossible in so many ways but i think he hates the fact that being king means hes moved even further above them on the social ladder)

BUT ANYHOW ANYHOW lets get to the juicy bits. the engagement bits. i have my own take on this that differs from urs a little bit momo but i think urs is soso good and nice and romantic… and i agree on a lot too!! specifically this ohhh u get him soso well!!

behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this.

(…)

(and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is.)

^ i agree soso much!!!! i think prince!gojo is very very clever, he enjoys acting goofy and has a very genuinely silly side but i do think hes both intelligent and mature. especially when it comes to politics, both for the sake of his own sense of duty AND what you said — for the sake of knight!reader!! they’re his motivation to become king in the first place, so i don’t see him doing anything that’ll cause too much of a stir; but at the same time… he gets away with a lot.

i do think rejecting his fiancee completely as a prince might be too much (his parents let him do as he pleases for the most part, but theyre not fun to deal with when they start to feel threatened lol), but once hes become king… well.

i think you’re right, momo!! he chooses to lead the nation on his own, with no queen by his side — only one very loyal knight.

(on the topic of heirs though since thats kind of connected to this… obviously his decision causes quite a stir. who will lead the kingdom when hes gone? a king with no firstborn — how scandalous. and so on.

but satoru doesn’t care. he continues to live his life, do his duty. visiting villages, dealing with neighouring countries… and, well. maybe one day he happens to run into a particularly clever assassin, with a scar on his bottom lip, escaping by the skin of his teeth and thanks to his knight — and, who knows? maybe said assassin, bleeding out, murmurs something about a child, a run-down building, a young life soon to be lost… and maybe satoru finds said child. maybe he even feels compelled to look after him, just for a while, because that unruly hair and those guarded eyes remind him a bit too much of a certain someone.

and if satoru grows fond of said boy, if he raises him as a candidate for the throne, but with an understanding and sympathy that he never received himself — then that’s no one’s business but his own.)

my bad i got carried away PHDKFJFJ back to the topic at hand. (i just needed to bring gumi into this narrative hes my special little boy ALSO maybe just maybe suguru finds an orphaned boy in the woods w pink hair who he takes in and raises as a knight hmmmm.. wonder what that’s all about…..) SORRY IM SORRY theres. so much to think abt when it comes to this au…………..

but anyways. i think satoru abolishes the marriage the moment he becomes king — but until then hes polite, well-mannered, maybe even a tad friendly w his fiancee. just to make it easier for the both of them. he does however make it very, very clear that this is a business partnership in his mind — its not a marriage of love, it never will be. and he’s firm about it. he has no intention of leading her on.

i think he might even go as far as to say his heart belongs to someone else (hes giggling on the inside bro gets butterflies at the thought of belonging to his knight in any way shape or form), with no specifics since he doesnt want to get knight!reader into any kind of trouble with the royal court.

but yes!! this is where i think our takes differ a bit (not at ALL a bad thing i just need to make that clear!!) bc i dont rlly see knight!reader being jealous!! i see their relationship with satoru as very comfortable, w a strong sense of understanding between them. it isnt entirely romantic or entirely platonic — if i had to put it in simple terms i’d just call them soulmates. they were born to save each other. and i think both of them understand that! knight!reader is well aware that satoru doesnt feel a single thing for his fiancee, because he makes it so clear that no one has a place at his side except for knight!reader themselves. so in that sense i dont see that uncertainty appearing!! i think the only one between them who feels frustrated is satoru.

and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. <- THIS IS SOOOO CANON TO ME BTW i think that when ppl are being annoying around the castle a tiny voice in his head is like ”i hope this building fucking explodes” PHDNDBD HES SO DRAMATIC…. but in this case i think hes just so frustrated, especially if his fiancee/parents make the whole engagement more troublesome than it has to be.

on that note i just gotta mention;

and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. <- GOD THIS ONE GOT ME THIS ONE GOT ME GOOD momo pls stop im in agony </3 ohhh the way his eyes reflect his soul those sad sad puppydog eyes ☹️☹️ i would fold instantly

so in simple terms!! i think knight!reader and toru feel very at home in their dynamic. i dont think knight!reader would mind at all if satoru got a fiancee — if she made him happy i think they’d even grow fond of her. theyre just very kind and accepting, and dedicated to their prince’s happiness above all else. (but, of course, satoru’s happiness only ever lies with them 😔 stupid silly dense knight.)

BUT THE KISSSS OHHH THE KISS MOMO…. i see your vision so SO clearly. i picture their kiss by the riverbank like this too — satoru does it w/o thinking overcome by fondness and hes all giggly and giddy after. hes just happy to be alive PDJJDFJ 100% goes for a forehead kiss right after bc his heart is just bursting at the seams and his favorite person ever is right there in front of him!! all blushy and unsure!!! ohhh hes OBSESSED momo u get it ofc u do… ur version of events is so lovely and sweet!! i can really picture is so vividly!!

ANYWAY that was so fun pls never apologize, i lovelovelove long asks like this!! it was such a treat to read!! <33 IM BRINGING U A BIG CAKE TOO tysm for blessing us w this 🎂 (lets share it hehe 🍰🍰) (+ extra piece for mickey in case they see this here u go mickey 🍰)

#this was so fun to think abt i cant thank u enough momo <333 sending u alllll the good vibes!!#ALSOOOOO i think crazymmooo is the cutest name EVER its like ur a lil baby cow!!! so cute!!!!#anyway i know i keep saying this but i really am being dragged down to the pits of insanity #just recently alexis infected me w knight!sugu x royalty reader and now im thinking abt them too 😔😔 it never ends #ask tag ✩

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undertale-writing-times · 8 months

Note

Ummm... More Nightfall X Reader? I love him...

Since you didn't give me a prompt number, I decided to give myself one :)

There was a random number picker that I used. I'm also writing one that would be long. It's just taking me a bit to get that one finished cause I want to finish other ones too.

It would be hard to not notice that Nightfall had been acting a tad... strange, lately.

Whenever you two were together, he would look nervous tapping his thumbs together, and looking off away from you. He got calls more often than you would like to admit, and whenever he slept, he would leave his phone on lock. You didn't even know that he knew how to do that! He hated using the phone and things like that, he said that they made him feel strange.

So why, as of lately, has he been using it so often?

You were afraid to ask, so you didn't. Just waited and watched.

You knew, at least in the back of your head, that he wouldn't cheat on you or anything. You two had been together for... so long! At least 5 years It most likely wasn't a lot for him, though for you, it was because you were just a human.

What if he is cheating on you, as you are just a human? What if he was scared of you dying, or something? He's been speaking about something called a soul bond, what is that? He wouldn't explain and seemed sheepish whenever you asked.

You had nobody to talk to about this.

Nightfall wouldn't cheat on you, you knew that he wouldn't, you were his datemate and he said that he loved you so often.

Every time you two fall asleep together, he would hold you, his tentacles wrapped around you loosely. He wouldn't hold you like that, if he was cheating, right?

Too many thoughts were rushing through your mind, you almost didn't hear the phone ringing. When it finally cut through and you reached over to pick it up, you could hear Solar's voice "Hey Y/n!"

Solar? What was he calling you for? Nightfall and Solar didn't often get along, but they've been trying to get close again. Solar said the past was behind them and Nightfall often looked guilty.

"H...Hey? What's up what do you need?"

"Wellll do you think we can hang out? It's been a while! Meet me here" then he said an address and hung up before you could even answer.

You blink once, then twice, looking at the phone tilting your head to the side. Even Solar was using the phone?

Okay, what the hell was going on?

You nibble your bottom lip, staring down at the address. What if you didn't go? They were planning something, you knew it. Damn, this wasn't good for your anxiety. Not at all. You felt nervous.

Breathing in and out slowly, you push yourself to get up, and head to where the address told you to go.

It was starting to get late, was Solar even going to be awake when you got there? What if he wasn't? A little weird that someone that slept during the night would invite you over to just a bit before it was night time, right?

Yet, even so, you decided to ignore that. If they invited you to come over, then he must want something. Even if it is just to hang out a little at first.

When you got to the place that he asked you to come to, you saw it wasn't exactly what you were expecting.

There was a cave beside the ocean, you could hear the sound of waves crashing against the sand, and inside the cave there were lights. What the hell? You gulp down your nerves, and slowly walk in your eyes scanning around.

The lights were pretty, shining brightly in the darkness, and you could hear music playing. Oh damn, was this where you're about to die? That’s the only thing you could picture. Nightfall and Solar were going to kill you, for what reason? You had no idea.

Ugh, why did your mind go straight to the bad thing so often? That isn't fair, you knew that Nightfall would never want to hurt you. He was your datemate, and you his. He loved you more than anything! Well... maybe not anything, as the sky was so special to him, but he told you that you were like a star to him, and that meant a lot.

Even if most people wouldn't realize.

As you got closer to the end of the cave, you stop when you saw Nightfall sitting on a rock, seeming to be waiting until he saw you, and he smiles "Ah Y/n, there you are" he pushes himself to get up, walking over taking your hands into his own. You could feel the slight chill from the sludge that coated him. He never did explain where that came from.

"Yeah," you nod slightly, tilting your head to the side "I'm here, why are you? Solar asked me to come over and told me to come here... what's going on?"

"Well... we have been together for quite a bit of time now," Nightfall starts, the sparkles in his body shining brighter something you've noticed happens when he gets embarrassed, "And I have decided that this will be the best time for me to ask this big question" he looks down at the ground, moving down onto one knee, and holds out a box, which had a ring in it that sparkles slightly in the faint light “Please, marry me?”

Oh damn.

This was really happening?

You couldn't bring yourself to answer at first, staring at him with wide eyes. He wanted you to marry him? For real? You gulp then smile and lean down hugging him tightly starting to press kisses against his skull/face while making sure to be careful not to knock him back.

So that's why he's been acting so weird! That makes sense.

You were so happy.

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ratcatcher0325 · 11 months

Note

Dear Alexander and Natalie,

Do you have any plans for the fourth of July? I would guess that Alexander is indifferent but doesn't like the noise and Natalie is in it for the food (my spouse likes to call the fouth "summer Thanksgiving"). I am curious (and nosy!), so what's on the docket?

I for one am making ice cream and shutting the windows against the noise.

Yours,

PSM

Oh hey PSM!

Nice to see ya again! Oh! Hold on, Alexander is wrestling my fingers away from the mouse (I’m letting him win so he won’t yell at me).

Natalie, where is your common courtesy? Our friend addressed the ask to me first, then you. Have patience!!

Do you hear that? This little insufferable nightmare is lecturing me about patience! His lack of self awareness is adorable isn’t it?

Nothing about me is adorable! Now stop being such an antagonizer and let me peruse this question. Stop it! Do not cross this line. Put your hands behind you back if you must, I will not tolerate any more interruptions. The Fourth of July?? Hmm. I like your plan. Staying out of the heat, far away from drunken humans gathering in raucous crowds and the ear shattering cacophony of those utterly obnoxious fireworks would be my strong preference. However, I’m told Natalie has a, to quote her “kick ass paleta recipe you’ll love”. I’m told a paleta is a type of frozen popsicle made from fruit?

Oh, so you put me in “Ask Jail” but then you get to steal my paleta thunder? Cool. Seems fair. Yeah I was planning to wrap up five or six flavors today, so we can beat the heat for a long time to come. Normally, if I was with family we’d make a huge cookout, but I’ll probably just go with a simple arrachera and maybe some guacamole (though I’ll never get it as good as my grandma). Alexander can be my trusty taste tester. But yeah, obviously fireworks aren’t gonna hurt my ears like they would his, still they’ve never really impressed me. BUT Alexander needs the experience of lighting Roman candles and sparklers off the patio, it’s like… a right of passage. We’ll just wait till all the fireworks displays are over. Besides, I have a feeling this little nightmare will enjoy lighting shit on fire.

She keeps insisting it’s a deeply cathartic experience to watch controlled explosions. I can’t say I disagree. I will report back, posthaste. Other than that, I would be delighted to continue working, uninterrupted, but when I tell you, PSM, that becomes nearly impossible when living with someone like Natalie, I promise I’m not exaggerating. She thinks I won’t notice, but she constantly finds every excuse under the sun to pull my attention or to touch me, albeit it gently. But it is still immensely distracting. I’m going to need to employ a thumb tack or safety pin to ward her off. Do you think that’ll do the trick?

I’m gonna ignore that completely and change the subject… I hope you enjoy your ice cream! What flavors are you planning to make? You wanna send some to Cambridge? We can do a food swap!

In the same vein as Natalie, I wish you a happy holiday for… what exactly? American exceptionalism? Those of us with a fraction of intelligence obviously know such a concept to be a carefully crafted myth which is ever crumbling in the face of late-stage capitalism. It’s explicitly clear that the American dream is dead and as the wage gap yawns ever greater, we continue to fight one another and stay just distracted enough to keep from toppling the true seat of corrupted powe—

Okay….. that’s enough of that! What he’s trying to say in Alexander-speak is he hopes you enjoy your day off from work! Ha, ha. I’m sorry, I found him like this, and I haven’t been able to figure out how to turn it off, so, this is what you get.

You quite literally just said the other day one of the things you like about me is my intelligence. Make up your mind, woman!

Alright… time to go before I get lectured at for a straight hour. Thanks for reaching out and have an awesome 4th!

Love,

Alexander

(because I was addressed first, thank you very much)

Natalie

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beerecordings · 2 years

Text

Werewolf AU - Part 3

“Your AA coordinator called me. And then your therapist.”

Chase can't really make eye contact with him as he says this. Dammit, he knew they would all ring up the only local werewolf rehabilitator the second he stopped showing.

“Who even told them I got turned?” he grouches, shifting in his seat.

“Probably the courts, Chase. They're hyper-observant about new wolves. What stopped you from going, man? I thought you liked your therapist, at least.”

“I don't want anyone to see me right now,” he mutters. “Feel like they can't help me now anyway.”

“Whether or not that's true, you have to complete the programs for custody court, don't you? Isn't seeing the kids still your goal?”

Chase curls his hands around his arms, mouth drawn.

They're sitting out front of Sean's office for their one-on-one before class, watching the cars zip by. And no, he doesn't want to chase them – although, to be completely fair, he's been feeling kind of desperate to go racing after anything these last few days. He must be cooped up. Not going anywhere for five days can do that.

Or being a werewolf. It's one of those two.

“I just don't like the way everybody looks at me, now,” he confesses. “How am I supposed to get group support in AA when everybody's staring at me like a freak?”

“Some of them must be nice. Surely.”

“None that I've heard from. Everybody just ignores me. It's like I'm not even a person anymore.”

“Aw, brother.”

Sean gets up just to lean down and hug him. Chase sighs and squeezes him gently back, setting his head on his shoulder.

“You've not been drinking though,” Sean says proudly. “That's great.”

Chase's stomach turns. Yeah, he's not been drinking. Instead, he cuddles up with that stupid scrap of fabric and pretends he's a goddamn prisoner again. Leave it to him to find the one thing more pathetic than getting repeatedly blackout drunk for his new hobby.

He needs to just give that scrap to the police. He knows that. He's known that from the first time he hid it against his body in the hospital, swearing he had nothing else from the crime scene, and that he couldn't recall very well what the other wolf smelled like, except something electric. He knows the police don't always work werewolf cases very well, but he has heard of them hiring werewolf PIs just to track a scent across the city and catch a perp. Maybe that could happen if he would just hand the thing over.

But he hasn't been able to bring himself to do it yet.

“I'll tell the court about your AA, ask to have that on hold until you complete this program.”

“Oh, Sean, please, that would be awesome.”

“There are conditions! You gotta keep going to therapy. Try it with your current one a little while, and if you really feel like the relationship's broken, I'll help you find someone who works well with wolves. And if I smell a whiff of alcohol on you, I gotta tell the judge in my report. I won't like doing it, but I will, Chase, seriously.”

“I'm dead serious about staying sober, man, I swear.”

“Okay. Then don't worry about AA, but you better go see the shrink. Gotta prioritize getting better, alright, dude?”

He hears something slide above them, and the smell of lemon hits him from meters away as he looks up to see the other new wolf poking his head out of the window of Sean's living space.

“I'm making coffee. Do you both want some?”

“It's like six in the evening,” laughs Chase.

“We're pretty nocturnal around here,” Sean shrugs, at the same time as the upstairs wolf shouts, “And what's it to you?”

“Fine, then, I'd love some,” says Chase.

“Me too,” calls Sean.

Henrik grunts and pulls his head back inside, closing the window behind him.

“He looks better.”

Sean grins. “I think he's healing pretty well. The anxiety over all the wolf stuff is his biggest issue now.”

Chase gets that.

“It is like six, though.” Sean looks at the pavement and towards the other side of the house. “Let's go inside and see if Jackie and Marv are waiting.”

They head inside, but the office is quiet. Henrik's coming downstairs with three mugs delicately in hand by the time Marvin pushes in the door. He's not scowling or sulking this time, but Chase can't help but think he looks a little gaunt. Sean must think it too.

“Marv, you okay?” he asks, sitting up.

“What? Yeah.” Marvin looks around at the three of them, unsure of himself in a way he wasn't last week. “How're you?”

“Good. We were waiting for the pair of you. Where's Jackie?”

Marvin's scent poisons with alarm so fast it makes Chase nervous too, shrinking down in his chair.

“He's not here?”

“Do you see him?”

Marvin turns and looks out into the alley like he's waiting for Jackie to appear from thin air, but there's nobody there.

“Marv,” says Sean flatly.

Marvin whips back around.

“I definitely did not get in a big fight with him in the five days since our last meeting.”

Sean mutters something that's either a curse or a prayer under his breath. There's a terse pause as he gazes at the floor for a moment, teething at his bottom lip.

“It's not worth yelling about,” he growls finally. “You know you fucked up.”

“But he – ”

“Marvin, don't finish that sentence unless Jackie's actually in the wrong.”

Marvin stares at him, blinking. He doesn't finish the sentence. After a second, he seems to deflate like a bouncy house, shoulders slumping.

“I thought he would still come,” he says unhappily.

Sean beckons him inside. “He doesn't have to be here. Sit down, let's have some coffee.”

They drink coffee and Sean – after a ramble about how good the body of the coffee is, whatever that means – starts talking about the transformation from human form to wolf form, which Chase supposes they have to get ready for, since the full moon will no doubt come faster than they know.

“It's painful?” asks Henrik, hunched in on himself in the couch with his head drawn back like he could turn into a turtle more easily than a wolf.

“It's only painful when it's forced,” says Sean patiently. “If you're not ready for the full moon, it can hurt bad to shift. But when you control your transformation, it isn't painful. It's very hot, like you're suddenly molten, and I've heard turned wolves describe it as feeling really weird, but to us, it's just another way of being. And eventually, it will be for you too.”

Chase hides in his mug for a second, sipping at his drink. Right... he's not sure he's buying the idea that it can possibly not be painful. The first time, with that wolf, the one who turned him... yeah. Yeah, that hurt. But it's true that he wasn't in control. He didn't have a choice at all, didn't even know what he was doing. He thought his bones were snapping in half. The memory almost makes his eyes water.

It didn't get much better once he did turn. He was already so panicked as a human, and then as a dog – well. That's how he ended up whimpering for that other wolf to comfort him, so far out of his mind with new instincts and pain and fear that he couldn't cling to anything else. Henrik turns to look at him on the couch, blinking, and Chase realizes he must smell like nervousness again. He tries to focus back into whatever Sean's saying, savoring the grounding heat of his coffee.

“I can't explain how very well,” Sean admits. “It's instinctual. But I will help you get in the right headspace if I can. So! Let's go try it out. There's a wolf-friendly park about five minutes down the way.”

“Wait, tonight?” Chase laughs incredulously. “Um. It's barely the half-moon.”

“Don't need the moon to shift. She's just there to make sure you're doing it at least once a month.”

He thinks his jaw has actually fallen open. He feels Henrik turn to look at him and Chase looks back immediately, exchanging a startled look with him. Thank God he's not the only newbie here.

“Sean, I'm not shifting tonight,” Henrik says, voice tripping over itself. “I'm not well. My shoulder is still bad, and – ”

“You haven't shifted at all yet, huh, Schneep?”

The doctor shakes his head quickly. “No. I'm not up for it. During the full moon, we can do it then.”

“No way. My job is to get you ready for the full moon so it doesn't hurt, man. Come on, the both of you! To the park! Marv, you ready for a run?”

“Desperate for one,” Marvin admits, sitting forward in what might be the first hint of excitement Chase has ever seen from him.

“Are we actually doing this?” Chase gapes, clinging to his chair for a second. Sean growls playfully and advances on him, snapping a pretend bite at his neck before grabbing his hands and pulling him up.

“Yep! Come on, being a wolf doesn't sound cool as fuck to you two?”

“Sean,” comes the doctor's voice again, terse. “I am not doing this.”

“We're at least going to the park. Good to know your safe spaces in this town. Come on.”

Chase slinks towards the door, giving the outside world a cautious sniff before following Marvin into the fresh air. Henrik hasn't followed, though.

“What's his deal?” asks Marvin dryly.

Chase glances at him askew. “I haven't spent any more time with him than you. But can you blame him if he's nervous? Not like we asked for this.”

Marvin shrugs. “Nope. But he'll have to come to terms with it at some point.”

Sean is talking to Henrik inside, but the doctor hasn't gotten up from his chair. Finally, there's a change in Sean's voice.

“Henrik. We're going, now. Come.”

Henrik actually whimpers. Sean's there a second later, hooking his arm around his shoulders as he gets him up and out the door. The new wolf really does look like a dog with his tail between his legs in that moment, and Chase has nothing but sympathy for him.

The walk to the park is quiet, Sean keeping his arm wrapped around Henrik, who doesn't pull away. He doesn't seem less nervous by the time they make it, though.

Chase is kind of delighted by the park, despite his expectations. He's always known there were werewolf-specific parks, but he's never been to one. He's all for everybody sharing spaces, but somehow the places where the wolves run had always sounded like places that were meant to be just for them, and he didn't encroach on that. Besides, most parks just look like little sections of forest left alone wherever they've survived.

Something's different about it now that he's a wolf, though. It smells good around here, all grassy and fresh, but also somehow just open, warm, safe. There are lots of smells of other wolves, and he's gripped so ferociously by the need to go rub his back against some of the trees that he's actually moving towards them before he realizes what he's doing. It's not a completely unique instinct for him by now – embarrassingly, he's been finding himself rubbing his face into his mattress and blankets with increasing frequency. Sometimes he even just sort of shoves against his walls, spreading something intangible and purely his against his house, his space, his territory. Luckily no instincts to pee or anything weird. Oh, boy, will that happen? Probably not, right? Maybe he'll ask Sean, to be sure.

He confuses himself so much, these days.

There's also a very large NO DOGS ALLOWED sign, which is making him giggle. He points to it and looks at Marvin.

“Yeah, very funny now,” Marvin says. “Wait until somebody brings a real dog too close to you and you find yourself growling at Sparky and Clifford like they're challenging your territory.”

Chase clears his throat and stops laughing. He checks out the little area they're in while Sean continues to talk with the other new wolf, but a few minutes pass, and now Henrik's scent is so anxious it's making Chase physically sick. It makes him feel like there's something crawling up his back, and he finds himself pacing and shaking his head and shoulders like he can get the bad feeling off. He needs to run, suddenly, or to rub up against the trees like he wanted to before, or to circle around Sean and Henrik until that smell stops.

He realizes Marvin is watching him curiously, but Chase doesn't have the presence of mind to stop acting weird. When he catches Marvin's gaze, though, the wolf just gives him a smile, and a moment later, a smell like smoke and comfort drifts from his direction, soothing and sure of itself. Chase stops pacing and blinks at him. He's about to say something when he hears Sean give a low sigh.

“Okay, man, okay,” he acquiesces, clapping Henrik's shoulder. “Not today, then. We'll work on it some more in our one-on-one.”

“Or never?” offers Henrik.

Sean finally laughs again, shaking his head. “My poor guy.”

He leaves it there, stepping towards Marvin and Chase. “How about you, Chase? Ready to shift again?”

No. But if Henrik's really not up for it, he feels like he has to cover for him, somehow.

“Okay,” he says, albeit reluctantly.

“Marv,” Sean calls. “Stick with the doc, okay?”

“What? Sean, I want to run!”

“Dude, you can run anytime. I need to help Chase and I am not leaving Schneep alone in the park with a bunch of strange wolves running around.”

“Cause he'll cry?”

“Watch it, Marv.” Sean raises his eyebrows. “Dude. Make an effort with him. Go.”

“Fine,” sulks Marvin, and Chase gives him an uncertain wave goodbye as Sean takes left down the path that goes around the park, and Marvin and Henrik go right.

“Ready?” asks Sean.

“Like, now, now?” squeaks Chase.

“Take your shirt off if you don't want it to tear.”

Chase swears on repeat, pulling his shirt off, and Sean does the same. “I – like, I'm doing this, right now? You didn't tell me how!”

“You'll know! It's instinct.” Sean strips his pants off as well, and Chase looks away, embarrassed. “We're just going to start running, and it'll come to you.”

“Running in my fucking boxers through a public park?”

“Americans are so obsessed with nudity. Trust me, no one in this park gives a damn.”

“Okay, I take it back. I can't do this.”

Sean grabs his hand. “You shifted in an abandoned warehouse with nothing but your own fear to cling to, Chase. Out here, there are dozens of pleasant smells, lots of wolves, fresh air, plants everywhere, and two rounded miles of pure fucking freedom. Chase. You can do this. I know you can.”

How many times has he tried to convince himself he could do anything over the past year? Resist another drink, post a video that actually gets views, be a better dad, get Stacy back, survive the night. He's failed on repeat, failed a lot of things this past year. After a while, it started messing with his self-confidence, and that's when everything fell apart: when he had to stop posting completely and vanished from the internet, when he spiraled with the alcohol, when they went to court for the first time and he could barely keep it together.

What if he can't do this, either? What if it's all just words, and this will be the final failure: he can't control the lycanthropy, so he can't see the kids, so he can't go on.

“I'm just asking you to try,” Sean continues, and he's closer, now, holding Chase's hand. The warm smell of him is such a comfort, and Chase wonders if this is how Sean got to be doing the work he does: if he's just such a naturally reassuring person that he found himself helping everyone he could, because sometimes, it feels like he's the only one who can. “If it doesn't work out, we'll keep trying, until we get it right. I won't let you fail, Chase.”

So maybe he can't really trust himself. But Sean – this wolf he met only a month ago, this wolf who held his hand in the hospital before he even knew his name – he trusts Sean.

“Alright,” he says. “Let's do this.”

Before he can change his mind, Sean yanks him forward, and they're running into the trees. Chase lets out a breathless laugh despite himself, sprinting along after him half-naked in his stupid Nike's and boxers, branches cracking beneath their feet.

They run.

It does feel like freedom. And when Sean breaks his grip on his hand and his body changes, it's so natural for him that he doesn't even break his run before the man disappears, and a brown wolf with red hints is loping in front of Chase like nothing has changed.

Chase's heartrate is up; his eyes are torn between where he's stepping and the wolf in front of him, the closest he's ever seen a shifted werewolf other than the one who turned him. It doesn't feel scary like it did then. It feels... familiar, in a way. Like coming home to somewhere he's never been before.

He realizes he's shifting once it's already halfway done. It doesn't hurt or scare him. Even his shoes and boxers are just sort of kicked off, undramatic, and he crashes onto his side, but that doesn't hurt either.

He's different.

Sean circles back towards him, tongue lolling from his mouth. Chase sits up in the underbrush, blinking.

He knows these paws, the same ones that scrabbled at the floor of the warehouse as he whined and struggled, crying in low whimpers and howls. He knows the new feeling of his spine, the way he arches vertically instead of horizontally, because he remembers bowing to that wolf as he bit at his throat. He knows this fur, because the warmth was his comfort; his own smell was what he clung to.

Now the sun itself seems to have a warm smell, and the trees and grass seem full of good things. His hearing! He's been so focused on his sense of smell since his turn, but now, as a wolf, his rounded ears can pick up on movement for miles. He can hear his own heartbeat, and Sean's too, steady beside him.

Sean barks and nudges him with his head. Chase blinks one more time, pulling himself to his feet.

The world feels new like this.

The world feels... right. Good. Changed, but for the better. He lifts his snout, opening his mouth to let the smell of the park in all the better, and he feels his tail start to wag.

This, he thinks, for the first time since turning into a werewolf, is the coolest shit that has ever happened to me.

And then he's off like a shot, yowling with excitement, and Sean follows after him, barking cheerfully. They run. They run!

The floor of the forest is good, crackling as they move, the smell of everything is good, the sun is good! He leaps at Sean and makes him yelp as he tackles them into the earth, barking instead of laughing as they roll around together, and when Sean snaps at his tail, Chase arfs in mock fear and goes running away from him, letting him chase after, and they run, and run, and run. He hears other wolves, but they all keep their distance in this park, like a mix of instinct and the human love of music is keeping them all in some sort of rhythm with each other, smells curving in and out of each other, sounds ringing through the forest. He runs til he's heaving for air, and even then, he's still leaping and bounding in circles.

If he was a human, he thinks he might be crying with excitement. Why was he scared of this? Why did he let that other wolf make him scared of this?

Some Alpha, he thinks with a sudden ferocity. My pack shouldn't treat me that way.

The thought itself is a victory, sweet as rosemary shrub in the wintertime.

They find their way to a pool of water in the park, a little dirty and undersized for the amount of wolves that use the park, but it's still cool. Chase leaps in, splashing around and letting it soak into his fur, panting. Sean sits down on the bank of the pond and rumbles at him, and Chase knows the sweet smell coming off of him is contentment.

Chase looks at himself in the pool.

It doesn't even feel weird. It doesn't look weird. It doesn't surprise him. This wolf – this person shifted into dusty fur and brown eyes, wearing the face of an animal – this is him.

He just didn't know it until this very moment.

The sun is warm against his fur. Freedom. Not failure, but victory.

It smells like fresh air and soft earth.

He likes it.

#werewolf au #this chapter titled: you guys ready to actually see a wolf?#bee writes

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alwysalghthouse · 2 years

Text

alright, i need to get this off my chest, just word vomit, and maybe someone on here can relate or even give advice.

my apologies, i’m usually a reddit user, but reddit can be harmful with mental health topics and somehow tumblr is the best option (this isn’t an anti tumblr take i just think it’s funny the place called “hell site” is the genuine best place for this)

if ur anti self diagnosis just ignore me. i would happily get a professional diagnosis if i wasn’t poor and scrapping by the way it is without a whole person to pay. trust me, i want help and medication way more than you don’t want me to self diagnose. with that said i am not anti self diagnosing at all, and completely understand the many reasons people don’t seek a professional opinion and me wanting to seek it for myself does not mean i think everyone Must to be valid. just do whatever’s genuinely best for You. maybe this prefacing is just my anxiety as a chronic reddit user though, those people are brutal.

i’ve been aware of my dissociation issues for years but never really considered the chance that they’re a disorder of their own. i’m diagnosed autistic, adhd and have had psychotic episodes and also self diagnosed ocd, so like. , yea obviously dissociation is a part of it.

a few months ago i came to the understanding that i have dpdr, fair enough, easy. i acknowledged it, admitting the problem is the first step, we got it. it got worse from there, the more aware of the problem i became the worse it got.

my dissociation issues have gotten to a crushing point to where i don’t know how to cope with day to day life. again, sadly professional help isn’t on the table right now so i hope i can rely on some community help.

i have learned about dissociative amnesia and with looking into it and talking to my boyfriend, it is definitely something i experience. more so i’m grey outs and emotionally speaking, based off how i saw it described but let me know if my terminology is wrong. i think with learning about this i am going to start journaling again cause although sometimes it makes me feel even less connected, it helps my memory greatly and i feel like that’s a shot worth taking. other than journaling though i don’t know what to do, every other habit i used to have only enabled my ocd worse (checking, constant screenshots, hoarding anything with even an ounce of information on it). so i really need some help with how to cope with this.

my other issue is i forget where i am sometimes, i have crushing moments where i think i’m in a childhood home, hours where i forget what state i’m in while out running errands. this has been an issue since i was 12. at 12 i moved across the country to california, then at 16 i moved back across it to chicago, 18 back to california and late 19 to florida. i also had a pretty abusive childhood, physically, verbally and emotionally, with an extra helping of neglect. i know this has everything to do with it, but i don’t know how to cope. i don’t know how to ground myself, it just makes me feel even more disconnected.

when i was 13 i had a psychotic break caused by vivid nightmares, it triggered hallucinations that have lessened greatly but still happen from time to time. i have trouble figuring out if things are dreams or real, if information is from a dream or something that really happened. i find every way to gaslight myself in both directions no matter what i try. if i have a dream someone died, i’ll be convinced they really did die until i see many things as firm proof. sometimes i don’t know if i’m awake or dreaming.

i do not think i have DID or OSDD as i don’t run into too many identity issues (as a genderqueer person, it’s hard trying to figure out what’s a dissociative feeling and what’s a dysphoric feeling). it is worth saying however that i sometimes do find myself using “royal we” for myself and even using they/them (in a plural sense) for myself despite Literally hating they/them for me. i do struggle figuring out How i want to look, realizing i don’t look how i Think i do, and so on. i also tend to run into holes where my name (chosen or given) Doesn’t feel like mine after a few months, but again this could all be queer feelings and not mentally ill feelings, but if i’m letting it all hang out on tumblr dot com i might as well really commit and put it on the record. just to get other peoples thoughts on this because hey maybe it Does sound like DID/OSDD to someone who has it, maybe this sounds relatable as a Pre Realization feeling to someone who is now fully aware of it, i don’t know, i just want any and all help with this Whole problem. but again i genuinely do not believe i have DID, based off how friends describe it, and what i’ve researched, half of it doesn’t sound relatable at all.

as i’m sure you can see, it’s hard to live like this. i don’t want to Not live, i quite like living. i’m 21 now and live with my amazing boyfriend who is so much help. but i need something more and i can’t afford it so if anyone can relate, or knows anything that can help, please let me know!! i use discord too if you want to connect on discord! i am desperate for any sort of help with this.

#actually dissociative #dissociation #depersonalization #derealization #dissociative amnesia #dissociative fugue #pls help sexy mental illness tumblr

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picnokinesis · 1 year

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Hi can you Tell us more about The Doctors time at college in the Campervan AU?

Hmmm I was gonna say i don’t have THAT much to say about her time at uni because I don’t actually know much about what happened other than what I’ve already written.......but then I got thinking about the thing with the Doctor, Rose and Mickey, and it’s REALLY BUGGING ME because I swear I talked to someone about this in the last couple of months but I cannot. for the LIFE of me. find that conversation anywhere. Like I very vividly remember talking over it with someone. It must have been on a voice chat or something but ughhhhhhh. Anyway. Slightly bothered that i actually talked about it on HERE already but tumblr search won’t find it because it sucks ksksks. I don’t think i did, though, so here we go:

TBH there’s not thaaaat much in it. Essentially, Jack doesn’t know the Doctor when she first goes to uni, and she meets Rose a lot sooner (a la, yknow, the actual show) and they’re fast friends. Rose is dating Mickey at the time, and now I’m typing this out I’m even more sure I already told someone this because the deja vu of typing all this is killing me, but basically the Doctor swoops in, completely ignoring any romantic dynamics, drags Rose off into a bunch of ridiculous situations regarding things she’s investigating, and Mickey is kinda like ‘hang on.....what’s happening here’ SKSKS WHICH IS LIKE. Fair of him, tbh, because the Doctor is also a bit of a lot of a dick and probably doesn’t stay as oblivious as she likes to pretend, but wants Rose to hang out with her over everything else, and doesn’t give a damn about Mickey enough to not. Do that. Sorry Mickey. Rose does not cheat on Mickey with the Doctor, but Mickey and the Doctor are certainly constantly snapping at each other and Mickey is like. Hm. Anyway, it ends messily but over time I think the pair of them actually end up coming around and start vaguely communicating. The fact that Rose is like ‘I’m friends with both of you, actually, and so I want you to be nice to each other at least’ does make an impact, and even after Rose and Mickey split up, they stay good friends. But in between them not liking each other and them being cordial, Jack ends up befriending the Doctor, which is why Mickey has the knee jerk reaction of not liking Jack that much, because he’s this guy hanging out with the dickhead all the time. Actually, to be fair to Mickey, I expect what probably happened was that the Doctor was being, well, the Doctor, and Jack kinda followed suit and so then Mickey was like ‘great now there’s two of them’ - BUT, as seen in part 4, they’re all like.....friendly? Especially Jack and Mickey. And like. Ok actually Mickey really fascinates me here with the little interaction that Jack overhears in part 4 because it’s like...idk, there’s a lot of lingering dislike there, but I think Mickey fundamentally gets the Doctor, at least to some degree, probably thanks to some long conversations with Rose, and maybe a couple of very short ones with the Doctor SKSKSK - but like. Idk. Rose likes the Doctor a lot, and Mickey has probably seen the Doctor in her element at least once, which means he’d have some kind of begrudging respect for her. And then the same goes both ways, because Mickey can definitely come into his own when the moment calls for it. But like, despite the fact that they’re definitely Not Friends....he sits with her in that hospital. And he genuinely tries to talk to her and relate to her, and help her when she’s more vulnerable than she’s ever allowed herself to be in front of him, or anyone in her life at that point. Does it work? No, lol, but yknow. There’s something in the fact that he tries.

Anyway you probably didn’t want a ramble about the doctor and mickey but that’s what you got sksks

#taka replies #long post #campervan au #anon #if it's not clear i'm mostly on mickey's side on this one #the doctor was a jerk sksks #but uh #well I know WHY she was acting like that #but that would be spoilers

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infinity-sansa · 2 years

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A confusing rant about She-Hulk and The Rings of Power

Okay, I heard about the Rings of Power and She-Hulk debacle and it picked my curiosity. I wanted to see if it was really the fault of "trolls", "mysogynists" and "racists" as the people from the productions assured. To be clear, I only watched the begining of those two shows and didn't continue because I found them boring, but I may come back for She-Hulk because it's kind of short. Almost ten hours of boring Midde-Earth content though? No thanks, I have better things to do.

Thus this long half-assed rant about these shows fandom loves to hate, coupled with my own "research".

I'm basing my analysis on the website Rotten Tomatoes, where most of the trolls lurk according to different sources.

Let's see the two aforementioned shows first:

It's a nice score from the "official" critics but the audience kind of hated it, I guess? So is it really a troll thing? Let's compare it to other shows that have women and people of color to be sure, I mean, you must have a pattern for those things right? To be fair, I tried to find "comparable" shows, aka superhero genre produced by Disney for the first one and fantasy genre produced by Amazon for the second one (trickier, but feasable).

First, tv shows with a (white) woman as the main protagonist:

This one I watched and loved it, the score is totally deserved in my opinion.

I don't know this show and it's not much in terms of audience but it's okay I guess? The trailer looks interesting enough.

Now the next part: shows with a male person of color as the main protagonist, again produced by Disney (superhero genre) and Amazon (fantasy genre):

Okay, quite a good show that tackles racism if I remember correctly? A little on the propaganda side but it was fun to watch.

I know, it's more modern than high fantasy but it's the best I could find in a matter of minutes. I watched the first season and I liked it, never took the time for the second season because life happened. Nice score, not spectacular but it does its job.

Now let's combine the two parameters: a superhero show produced by Disney with a woman lead and we'll add the person of color part (Hard Mode but that's fine if it's a modern setting according to the racist part of the fandom), and a fantasy show produced by Amazon with a woman of color as the main lead (Harder than Hard Mode because "History" apparently huh?)

Oh nice, it even has an added difficulty bonus: Religion (Godly Mode I guess?)

Unfortunately, I didn't find any fantasy show with a woman of color lead on Amazon so here's this alternative in another genre:

Just saw the trailer, looks like a cute coming-of-age teenager romance story. If anyone has another alternative I'll take it, I don't really know Amazon shows compared to Disney+ and Netflix so...

Is there a conclusion to these comparisons? Well, first I really loved Ms Marvel (yes, that's important, at least for me). The first trolls that crashed the show before it aired were ignored so the score settled into a good note despite of that. If She-Hulk and Rings of Power were really undermined by the trolls it would have been the same, I mean, a show that features a young Muslim girl? That's the perfect target for the so-called racist and mysoginist trolls. Plus she likes Captain Marvel, a movie that was huh... not really loved for its main protagonist?

She-Hulk is close to the original comics on surface according to what I saw: she's Hulk's cousin, a lawyer, and she regularly breaks the fourth wall, so why didn't it work for the show? I love rom-coms and chick flicks movies don't put me off, but in this case, it didn't click at all for me. Too much. It feels forced. Maybe once I watch the rest I'll change my mind, but I doubt it. I hated the fact that the protagonist was so condescending with her cousin when she acquired her powers, she puts him down for no good reason and even mocks his years of suffering as Hulk. That's really mean coming from someone who suffered herself from men's condescending attitude (*rolls eyes*).

If I ever change my mind after seeing the rest of the show I'll add an apology, I really hope that's the case and she becomes a better person and a more complex character than the stereotypical hardcore feminist/Yas Kween! caricature incels seem to hate.

Angry/annoyed/constipated:

For Rings of Power, there's a lot to cover. It comes from an ancient fandom with a former beloved set of movies that served as a scale of sorts, but I find it hard to think it's only the presence of people of color that makes it so hated by the fans. The adaptation was sub-par, but I don't really care about that because I didn't read the original content. The book was so boring for me I didn't pass the first pages, so I guess it's a good adaptation in this regard?

The characters were... not great. It's weird to see Galadriel as a warrior because of what we saw about her in Peter Jackson's movies but after a while, it kind of doesn't matter anymore because there are more serious problems with her.

I mean, why is she both so bratty and unfeeling despite her age and experience? What about all the plot holes? Why does she care more about avenging her brother than finding her missing husband? Why does she have only three (3) expressions?

Lost/Sad/Duh moment:

and whatever this thing is that made me so uncomfortable when I watched the riding horse scene:

Okay, now that's I'm finished, I'm going back to write gay fics about those characters. 😉

I don't care much for the other characters, it's too long, Amazon please reduce the lenght of the episodes in half so it can be more watchable. I was looking at my phone for entire sections of the episodes.

Others characters were okay I guess, the elf played by a black actor was boring, I didn't care about him or the proto-Hobbits or the discount Aragorn, please give me interesting characters and stop talking in poems or quotes. The scenery was breathtaking but looked artificial, like a computer-made wallpaper I guess? But after a while, you get used to it and want a good story and good characters.

I hated some of the aesthetic choices. No beard for the dwarves ladies. Short hair for the male elves except the leader. They didn't care about the races of the people in this show but did make a difference between what a man a woman is supposed to look like, I mean we can't have "ugly" bearded women and "sissy" long-haired male elves right? RIGHT? STAY IN YOUR LANE GENDER-CONSCIOUS PEOPLE! MEN ARE MEN AND WOMEN ARE WOMEN!!!

For the final conclusion, don't mind me if you loved these shows, that's just my own biased opinion. I'm sure they have lovable characteristics, it just didn't work for me.

#she hulk #rings of power #tolkien #marvel #mcu #analysis #personal rant #it's long and confusing #i'm sorry not sorry #it took me a while to write it so yall all have to bear with me #maybe one day i'll write something more detailed

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handelplayssims · 6 months

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Right. Ghost gameplay. ...it’s the same as normal gameplay honestly. I am making up a house rule at the moment that ghosts can’t get jobs though. And perhaps they can’t leave their home neighborhood or without someone to “haunt.” This mostly concerns Ian in that...well, he still has his friendship aspiration. Ohp. Fox spotted. Go away fox, for I am a ghoooost! Hehe. It worked! Also we got a rainbow egg! Likely for Derek’s high relationship with his chickens. That gives quite a bit of money so nicely done Derek! As for Ian, he’s just vibing to the tunes. ...and possessing the jukebox as well. Fun! Tunes listened and now he’s sleepy. To bed with you Ian!

Right. Derek is up! And it’s time to write! Well, practice writing until the whim goes away and then swap to writing a book. And now Ian’s back to being awake. Let’s see, raise charisma for aspiration which we don’t need. We need friends because he’s down to just two of them thanks to dying! I managed to nab back a Social Bunny contact by reacting to them so let’s invite them over! (Should probably do that also with other friends I want to regain) ...Ian just autonomously proposed!? Woah! I wouldn’t have done that with ghost relationships but ah well! Anyway, befriended Agatha again! And book written. Time to at least start another one!

Hmm. Ian wants to practice a routine...and the routine practising isn’t up. I need to compose a new one! But computer is taken! Alas! But Derek needs to take a bath and go to bed! Computer free! Composing comedy time. But-!

Neighborhood Watch!

Winston Stroud in the Stroud household left his job as a Medical Intern in the Doctor career.

Ariana McAdams in the McAdams household has started a job as a Freelancer in the Freelancer career.

I’ve got two more days left! Let’s see if we can wrap this household up! Derek! Going to bed. Ian...wants a drink. Alas! No pub for you until Derek wakes up. He does want to chat with someone so let’s just linger outside a bit. See if we can spot an early morning jogger. Jogger spotted! It’s one of our old friends Aubrey Shelley! Let’s restrike up that friendship! And Neighborhood Brawl is kicking up. But both of these boys, aka elders, are elders so they’re going to ignore it.

Aubrey was about to leave for her job. Noble but we’re so close to becoming friends. (Also I didn’t realize that was what she was about to do and stopped her in her tracks, alas!) Anyway, now it’s time to gather eggs. Huh. Orange Egg this time. Seems that if you want the stuff to get animal treats for those special furs and stuff, get a chicken. Ian’s soon to needing rest. Let’s just take care of some slight whims first. Calling on the phone and listening to tunes. Scratch the tunes! It’s time to rest.

Derek’s up. The ground is free of snow now so I can finally plant things. I have a chocoberry and a raspberry and some starting flowers so I’ll plant some of all of those. Annnd I can water them all with my tears. Glorious. He cries so hard puddles form on the ground. What grief he must feel! Annnd the Finchwick Fair has started up! It’s cow festival so the boys don’t have anything to show but it would be a good time to sell eggs and to just hang out. AWW. Our little chickie came up to us while we were crying! And received pets. That’s sweet! Anyway, time to gather our eggs, gather our ghost fiance, and head on over to the plaza!

315 simoleans. A merger profit. Especially since we’re going to turn around and purchase plants from the garden shop next door! That’ll be a massive expenditure ...they have a Bird of Paradise?! That’s a rare flower there! All of the fruit and veggies I picked up are going straight over to Derek, gardener he is! Anyway, I had Derek hang by the cow and Ian re-establish his friendship with Sara Scott. In doing so, I seem to have knocked her out of her bartending perch so Derek can’t get food from her. Alas! I’ll give it a bit and see if she resets to position. ...don’t get hung up giving food, Sara! Give me my Beef Wellington! After the food, it’s finally time to head home. Both have whims for the radio...but it’s time to plant stuff so Ian wins out on whims!

There we go! A row of fruits, a row of veggies, a row of mushrooms and two plots open for oversized crops! And two fruit trees as well. We’ll be making LOADS of passive income! And now to do the best thing we can do with our grief. Mourn it over some plants. ALL of them. And our chick is now a hen! Elias to Eliane! Good to know. More eggs for us! And finally, at 8AM, Derek finally goes to sleep. Making it time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Sulani: The Moss household moved out.

Bautista Bencomo in the Bencomo household has died. Bautista heard a dad joke and laughed a little too hard.

Aww no! I think someone was friends with you, and I know you had a kid. RIP!

Fiora Nine in the Shulk and Fiora household left her job as a Low-Orbit Specialist in the Astronaut career.

Jung Ashley in the Ashley household has started a job as a Conservation Regulator in the Enviromental Manager career.

Dakota Carranza in the Carranza household has died. Dakota asked a rabbit if it wanted a carrot, but the rabbit chose violence.

Glimmerbrook: The Hiddlestix household has moved in.

...fitting honestly.

Strangerville: The Banks household recently moved out.

...and I just remembered something. I have plans for our librarian friend to take over this home when Derek is near death. I better actually turn of die-by-accidents for him. After tomorrow.

#sims 4 #blogging #moody & mcmillian #ian moody #derek mcmillan

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katesadventureworld · 1 year

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The Grinder Experience

** DISCLAIMER this blog features topics words and language that may not be suitable for under 18s adult supervision advised.**

Hey boos… so, this was meant to be a sort of lighthearted look into the world of using Grinder and other dating apps. but recently I’ve been hit with a reminder to why so many people like myself find it hard to find dates, or struggle with there mental health…

Before we get into that let me explain Grinder! I’ve been on grinder on and off for quite a number of years now in that time I’ve made 2 friends and had to block at least 200 people…. so why is this? Well in general My experience with grinder had been full of fake profiles creepy old guys and people who want to blind date apparently. ( There profile has NO photos and they then send a dick pic as an opening… ew.) It’s an extremely frustrating app trying to find someone close by and who is genuine. (I’m also very fussy. so that doesn’t help me personally) Though on occasion there are some lovely people who pop up who just want to chat or leave a really nice complement even though they know they aren’t what I’m looking for. But for the most half I’m bombarded with messages such as ( And these are genuine messages) “ Fuck me ur hot I’d deffo smash ur tight little pussy” “come sit on daddys lap baby ill show you a good time” or my personal dis-favorite “Wow your hot Ide deffo bend you over with my hand on your throat and fill you up with my cum then eat your ass out you want that baby “ Safe to say anyone who sends me those as opening lines get blocked instantly like WHY would you send messages like that sometimes accompanied with the worst dick pics I’ve ever seen as an opening WHO IS THIS WORKING ON! Its so distasteful and disrespectful and makes the App a vile place to be.

Before I move on to the competitors (Tinder POF Hinge and Badoo ) lets address my biggest issue with dating apps, Mainly Grinder and why this isn’t the light hearted look I wanted it to be.

You see, I identify as a “Trans woman” as this is easier to explain my situation (Please read my previous Blog “Me and Him” for more..) This can give some people easy ammo to use if I ignore them or simply don’t reply and delete there messages, it seems if you don’t reply they take it as I must try again and again and each time get a little bit more ruder, in the past I’ve been called all sorts and perhaps there is another blog in there somewhere about that, But just today as I write this post I was on grinder checking my messages and I received a message from a guy I simply didn’t reply too from 2 days ago, - I’ve been busy! So his simple way of getting my attention and ending our chat was this. again, this Is a genuine message “ You are an arrogant man” now, Those who know me know I simply do not and will not accept any slander like this aimed at me or to anyone I know that said this hit me hard I’m already struggling with my MH at the moment although I don’t talk about it, so this comment has sent me into a spiral. I AM NOT A MAN. IM NOT MANLY IM NOT A CROSSDRESER I AM NOT A TRANSVESTITE I AM A WOMAN. I do constantly worry that I don’t look beautiful or feminine enough something that’s led me to hide away at home rather than go out shopping this week or do something I wanted to do which was write up some blogs in a coffee shop for a change of scene. I’ve been unable to be free due to my own thoughts getting to me so when I received this message I just wanted to try and scream at them Ironically I did reply with “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME” and before I had a chance to get a reply or block them they had blocked me, so I guess I won without trying but this isn’t the first comment of this type I’ve got on this app, And although its slowed down a lot it still happens and it’s really not right in this day an age..

It’s only fair I now delve into the other apps I use So how do the other apps compare with grinder?

-Tinder … YAWN… same type of “Fuck boys” over and over I’m tired of swiping left! But those who I have matched with seem genuine with only one “Bott” now and again but they are so easy to figure out and block it doesn’t affect the overall experience of swiping left.. 3/10

-Badoo …. Notification central… and my god it’s a bit weird it had the same features as tinder with more options to see people and chat or send likes on their photos, but it just seems a little confusing like do people see the likes or what?? You also can’t message unless you match so what’s the point of being able to see them off the swipe feature? So far seem like lots of genuine people on there and although I don’t think I’ll find Mr/Mrs/Them/There Right I think it’s a great place to make friends. BUT MY GOD ARE THE NOTIFICATIONS ANNOYING! 1/10

- POF… Perhaps the most legendary app who hasn’t been on it right! Well, it seems to have died off almost completely, The old features I once enjoyed are gone, and the profiles seem to be people who forgot to delete them! shame as it could be good but they ruined it , 1/10

- Hinge … well they say in there marketing it’s the app designed to be deleted. YES it sure is get it in the bin its awful. You get like 5 likes a day. There is so many tabs at the bottom that seem to do nothing to help you find someone it really is crap. 0/10 would not recommend.

And as for grinder….. Well, what can I say, its got me some attention and I’ve met up with one bad person. (currently writing that blog but its very hard to write.) but also met up with a handful of respectable people I’ve had fun with. It’s not an app I want to use. But at the same time where would I be without it, I check it daily and nothing ever changes, 5/10 for me…

With all of this said I am still trying to find genuine people to date but I’m so exhausted with it all. And must add that if I get ANY messages from people on grinder that do not match what I’m looking for to save the hassle of potential spam/ Hate messages I do block them straight away… maybe one day ill find an app that works or who knows meet someone who makes me want to never use them again!

Thanks for reading boos be great to know what you think of my blogs and what you experiences on apps have been I’ve been Katie-Mae Ellis and this has been a Kates adventures blog.

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