#this was just so beautifully written i LOVED the ocean theme
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In search of freedom (Ch. 7)
7. What do you wish for?
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⠀⠀➺ Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8
⠀⠀⠀⠀She's been searching for freedom her entire life and everytime she thought it was laying right in front of her eyes, she was mistaken. She was running around the East Blue, seeking herself and her dreams, meeting people she never forgot. No matter how much she traveled, she could only catch a glimpse of peace before realizing everything would crumble at her feet.
⠀⠀⠀⠀Maybe it was destiny that brought her on that ship with three strangers — foolishly, that's what she tried to believe when the moon shined beautifully and hope settled in her chest, squeezed by the same ribcage where feelings were blooming.
Pairing: female!reader x OPLA Zoro Roronoa
Warnings for this chapter: angst, graphic depictions of deaths and fatal wounds, self-harm, brief suicidal mention, canon-typical violence, tiny bit comfort at the end
Word count: 8,4 k
Theme song: fic spotify playlist (click on the link)
A/N: I'm glad I could finish the chapter so early and there are some scenes in here that I really loved writing. Also, I want you to pay close attention to the fight Witch has with the fishman. The anime watchers and manga readers that got far enough with One Piece will probably get it faster ;)
I'd be happy to hear your opinions on this chapter. Every interaction is appreciated and thank you so much for sticking to this story till now <3
The reader is referred to as "Witch" because I have no intentions of using "Y/N".
"What is your dream?"
While she would've rather expected that question to come from Luffy, the tipsy Zoro by her side, leaned against the mast, seemed to be rather intrigued by her reasons to remain with Luffy.
When she turned her head towards him, one of her suppositions was proved to be right: the stars above shone beautifully, but nothing could compare to the swordsman's brown eyes. In the dark, his dark chocolate irises were swallowed by pupils dark as the depths of the oceans. No. Dark and beautiful as the night sky she teared her gaze away from.
Her silence could've been interpreted in many ways and Zoro might become suspicious, but his already flushed state seemed to swallow everything in. He only looked back at her.
The witch couldn't exactly spot the specific aura of his gaze. He wasn't only flushed because of the alcohol, no. He seemed… soft, even. His shoulders were relaxed and the grip on the empty bottle loosened up.
His question was simply something she didn't expect, as he was always down to earth, similarly to Nami. However, there was a tiny difference — he proudly admitted he wanted to become the strongest swordsman in the world.
"I—," the word left her lips like a mere whisper.
Her determination faltered under the weight of the alcohol. Until that moment, after sharing some ugly parts of her past, his remarks made her laugh and chuckle happily.
"I want to be free."
One simple wish that could have so many connotations.
"I don't see any rope around your wrists."
His voice was like a low rumble coming from the depths of his chest, such a pleasant and soothing sound.
Their eye contact didn't break. Their gazes were locked together and she couldn't bring herself to be mad about it, especially when she was drunk enough to let vulnerable sides of her poor soul see the light of the stars.
Faint, shy, but it was there.
"I want to be free from myself and the expectations everyone has of me," she clarified. "Free from the rules of the world, written or unwritten. Free from the Marines that are now on my tail."
"Why did you become a pirate if you wanted to be free from the Navy?"
"The sea always looked like a place where I could be free," she admitted with a weak voice. The same tiny voice her younger self used to have when dreaming of a future.
Zoro knitted his eyebrows together and blinked, staring at the small beauty mark on her face he just noticed. He seemed deep in thought or rather trying to figure out the meaning of her words.
He was rarely so concentrated outside of critical situations like fights.
"Are you free now, then?"
With a gulp, she shook her head.
"No."
One word. One heavy weight on her soul.
"How do you wanna be free?" came another question from the swordsman.
"I have no clue."
The cage around her was a metaphor. She always felt like iron bars squeezed her tighter and tighter, until she broke down, a situation that occurred only a few times a year and was always hidden from prying eyes.
Realistically, there was no free place in that world. The Marine wasn't by any means as righteous as they wanted to look like and they were certainly not saviors. Of course, there were plenty of pirates that did nothing else but harm everyone and everything they laid eyes on. Some of them had ugly souls, dark and dirtied by greed.
However, there were plenty of people that were so-called pirates and yet never harmed unless they had to protect someone. Like Luffy or Usopp. They never took anyone's life.
Like her father.
She wasn't one of those pirates. The witch has killed people, even if never solely for blood thirst. Or, at least, not yet. She deserved to die, to never see the light of a new day.
A personal justice system — that's what she's always had, that's what she grew to learn about from the crew she left barely a year ago.
Deep down, she knew she would never be free. There was no liberty for a monster.
When she looked at Zoro, she also wanted him to taste freedom on his tongue. Maybe he already knew what that felt like.
If she couldn't find her own freedom, she could settle for protecting her friends' freedom. That would be more than enough, right?
"Aren't you at fault for your own lack of freedom?" Zoro pulled her out of her thoughts.
His question might've sounded as insensitive and accusing, but she was aware the swordsman didn't mean it that way. He always had his own way with words and, unfortunately, he got misinterpreted most of the time.
He was simply stating a probable truth.
Then I suppose I should get rid of my—
No. There was no time to think of such things, even if she was drunk and vulnerable. Admitting that to his face would be shameful of her.
Maybe she wasn't that ready to share secrets yet, was she?
"I most probably am," the witch whispered as she averted her eyes back to the sky splattered with stars. "At the end of the day, I'm the only one taking into account what others say and how they affect me."
She didn't know exactly how to pursue freedom, but she was certain of something else: if that beautiful future stood in front of her, Zoro was probably one of the ways to find out.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
The witch wasn't able to find freedom if she died at that moment, with the blue hand of a fishman gripping at her throat. There was a lingering ache at the crown of her head from when he pushed her against the wall.
Her eyes squeezed shut while life seemed to slip from her hold, the same way her fingers lost their force while clutching onto the fishman's forearm. She had to find a way to get out of there, to breathe, because her lungs were already begging for some oxygen. Her vision was getting blurry and the pain in her entire throat spread like fire through her body.
Maybe it was because of her hyper-aware state, but she could swear the wound on her bicep was bloody again considering the sharp pain shooting through her arm.
No. There was no time to die and beg for forgiveness — and whose forgiveness could she ask for if she stays alive? Exactly. No one's.
The witch didn't know if she breathed in air or it just felt awfully familiar to that sensation, but her lungs suddenly swallowed something fresh and powerful. It ate the pain hungrily, destroying every doubt in her mind the more she thought of her promises, of the corpse of a father who still whispered in her dreams "go find your freedom".
The grip on the fishman's arm grew tighter, stronger, until her nails dug into the scales and penetrated them. Her fingers ached, the skin around her nails scratched harshly by the sharp broken scales. Fresh blood surfaced.
Her eyes opened up slowly, burning with each one of her promises, this time including her own — If I can't find freedom, I'll make it.
Every nerve in her body burnt and she tasted drugs on the tip of her tongue, an addiction threatening to clutch onto her and take control.
Power.
The witch has never been one to love power, to ache for it and yet, there she was, with a devil-like grin growing on her face.
Power.
It ate her alive and she loved that sensation. The steadiness of her heartbeats, the cage of ribs that broke to make place for that overwhelming feeling.
Power will never take control of me.
Her eyes bore holes through the fishman's entire being. There was no need for her revolver when two shining irises had the same effect.
Her vision and mind has never been clearer.
The fishman was struck. A weight settled on his shoulders, pulling him down, doubts flickering in his head.
Claws sank into his eyes, into his face and throat, clutching at his heart, threatening to pull it out of his chest.
The fishman stumbled and dropped her.
His strong grip on her throat left blooming red marks. They were ugly and her neck felt tender, but her nerves didn't register the pain properly because of the adrenaline running through her veins.
The witch immediately took the opportunity, despite the lack of air in her lungs. She crouched down to take her gun, but before she could shoot again, a loud sound got her attention.
The door of the restaurant broke at the floor underneath her when Luffy got thrown right into it by Arlong.
On the side of the stairs where Usopp crawled down was Sanji struggling to get back up after he cracked his back at the harsh contact with a table.
People were hiding under chairs and bars from the fishmen's wrath.
Her anger was fueled by each single detail. One of her shoulders felt light, while the other was heavy. The monster lurking inside her had one eye open — the same one that pushed her to cuss out Mihawk back when Zoro got a cut through his chest. The same monster she wouldn't trade anything for, because wrath has always been her forte.
The small flame of revenge started burning in the pits of her stomach. Steadily. Still vague, easy to control.
She ran down the stairs and passed by Usopp, who was at that moment helping Sanji get on his feet. The witch got out of Baratie, suddenly stopping in her tracks when she saw Arlong standing a few meters in front of her.
That fucker—
Luffy shouted something along the lines of Gum Gum and she knew that was his fight to deal with.
However, it was a fight she didn't know if he would win at that time, considering the way Arlong only turned his head to the side when he got punched in the face by Luffy's fists. The fishman spat blood on the wooden floor while he stepped closer and closer to the Straw Hat.
In a fraction, the punch Luffy received sent him flying in the sails of a boat and he fell down with a thud, grunting. It was stupid of him to provoke Arlong further, but Luffy has never been to give up or let his enemies feel the satisfaction of a victory without a proper fight.
The witch wondered if her captain didn't break a rib or two after being punched and thrown around for so long. He still had the energy to throw his fists into Arlong's face with all he's got, using his rubber arms to attack from meters away.
His Devil Fruit powers were definitely the only reason why he was alive.
But not for much longer.
Arlong muttered something with a growl and once he sank his hand in the water, the witch knew it wasn't going to end well.
The fishman didn't just splash Luffy; no, he soaked the Straw Hat to the bone and the hit with both sea water and brute force got Luffy to the ground. It was his biggest weakness.
The witch's eyes widened when she saw Arlong grabbing at Luffy's shirt and lifting him in the air, opening his mouth to reveal razor-sharp teeth.
Her feet carried her for only a second and she almost shouted out for Luffy out of despair — she would rather be stabbed in the stomach countless times than feel helpless again. Out of instinct, the hand holding the gun raised, aiming at—
"Arlong, wait!"
Nami.
The witch snapped her head towards her friend.
The orange-haired woman stomped her feet and came, leaving the Going Merry behind her. The tank-top she wore exposed a strange old tattoo on her left shoulder. She was clutching tightly onto a thin and long cylinder.
"I have it," she addressed Arlong. "I have the map."
The map.
"I got it for you, just like I said I would."
The witch blinked away the confusion that almost made her hazy and stepped in front of Nami, stopping her from moving forward.
"Nami," the witch knitted her eyebrows together. "What's going on?"
Nami's eyes held no clear emotion besides a flicker of anger.
"Exactly what you knew all along."
It was one of those times when the witch wished her tarot was wrong.
She shook her head, one of her hands gripping at Nami's wrist.
"Nami," the witch squeezed her friend's hand tighter, scared it would slip from between her fingers.
"Let go."
Nami snatched her arm out of the witch's hold and her jaw ticked. She wasn't only annoyed, there had to be more in her eyes.
"You cannot possibly tell me you want to do this," the witch insisted, stepping even closer, until she was one breath away from the navigator.
Their intense gazes clashed together and none of them let the walls fall.
"But here I am, ain't I?" Nami cocked an eyebrow.
When the orange-haired passed by, her shoulder collided harshly with the witch's who was still stuck in place.
No fucking way.
The witch needed time to think, she had to search for some clarification with her tarot cards. She needed more time to read the energy, to figure out the situation, to understand what, where, why and when. Nothing made sense and time passed by so fast she couldn't even process it all.
Luffy was so disoriented he didn't even pour enough force in his hands to get rid of Arlong's grip on the collar of his shirt.
"Nami?" he firmly spoke. "What are you doing?"
"I tried to tell you, Luffy," Nami continued walking towards him. "I was never on Your crew. I only joined up with you so I could steal the map."
"I don't believe that," Luffy denied.
"That's because you only believe what you want to believe. Doesn't make it true."
Nami, for fuck's sake, we both know you're lying—
The witch opened her mouth, ready to argue, to yell from the top of her lungs, but with one glance thrown to Arlong, she stopped. Saying the wrong thing might get Nami in great danger and she might lose credibility in front of him.
"Sister Nami's a loyal member of the Arlong Pirates," Arlong started speaking, pointing with his chin towards the one in question. "She has been for years."
The witch didn't know why she still protected Nami, but she was certainly not going to give up on her friend at that time.
Nami shoved the map in Arlong's nose to get his attention to her — or maybe the witch has gotten to another level of delusion.
"Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater?" Nami reminded the fishman as if it wasn't a death sentence. "Let the sea do it for you."
"Nami, this is too far, cut the crap—" the witch revolted immediately.
Before she could make any step towards Luffy, she was grabbed by the back of her neck and launched into the wall of Baratie with sheer force — it was one of Arlong's asshole crewmates. She groaned in pain and squeezed her eyes. The shoulder she fell on sent sharp spikes through the entire left side of her body.
She cussed out, struggling to get back to her feet when Arlong let Luffy drown in the sea. The witch let out a shout of the Straw Hat's name and one of her knees betrayed her, resulting in another unceremonious fall to the ground.
Lucky for her, an arm curled around her front to help her up, a silver ring resting on the finger of the man.
"Luffy fell in the water, go now!" she didn't even wait to be properly raised to her feet to urge Sanji to jump.
Her aching body and the lack of strength wouldn't help her get Luffy out of the sea. She didn't even clearly notice when the cook left her side and jumped into the sea, too caught up in the agitation inside of her. Events passed by her faster than light. All she saw was a discarded shirt.
She wasn't sure because of what powers she managed to walk on the deck, at the edge where the other two should appear from under the water. Her head turned when she recognized Usopp from her peripherals.
"Luffy?" he asked, panic building up as his hands shook.
The witch would have responded if not for the answer to appear right under their noses. Sanji held Luffy tightly by the collar and pushed him on the dock with Usopp's help who dragged him.
The witch extended her hand to bring Sanji on the dock with them and since then, things turned blurry despite her open eyes.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Now the only woman in the crew, the witch sat on the floor in the room that used to be Nami's, her back leaning back against the wooden wall. With eyes devoid of life, she stared up at the ceiling while pulling her knees closer to her chest, once again trying to hide herself from everyone. From everything.
On Nami's bed there was still an inert swordsman and he didn't even flinch when she tentatively said his name after entering the room.
"Fucking dammit," she squeezed her eyes shut.
Nami left. Zoro was unconscious. Luffy almost drowned if not for Sanji. Usopp was bluffing about how "everything has to be alright".
She didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or her.
Because everything was wrong. It felt wrong.
The witch took in a deep breath, but only half of the oxygen she inhaled got to her lungs and brain because of her constricted throat. Tears were sitting on her waterline for the fourth time that day.
Too much happened since the crack of dawn and it wasn't even sunset.
Exhaustion made her look years older than she was. Her head fell forward, forehead hitting her knees before the light sneaking through the windows could fall on her face.
Tears filled with anguish ran down her cheeks and it was the first time she allowed herself to let at least an ounce of the weight on top of her body dissipate. The droplets of pain melted down her cheeks and sank into the material of her shirt.
The witch sneaked her arms around the back of her thighs and squeezed herself tighter in a ball, lips trembling. Her breathing was ragged not only because of the lump in her throat, but also because of the firm grip that fishman had on her neck. The skin was sensitive to the touch and it hurt to swallow.
Every event of that day got added one on top of another. Her fight with Zoro, the fact that he was unconscious after that dwell, Nami leaving just like the witch expected to.
Betrayal. Maybe I was a fool for trusting her.
Or am I?
Teeth sank so deeply into her lower lip it drew blood and she tasted copper on the tip of her tongue.
Pain. That was right.
The only right thing happening that day was the physical pain. Palpable, real, bringing her back to earth.
Except that time it failed, because the tears didn't stop. She squeezed her eyes shut as sharp pain traveled through her body, from her chest into her limbs, puncturing each nerve, shaking her to the core.
Her soul screamed, caged by sorrow, an ugly animal that sank its fangs into her flesh and ripped from the inside. Blood was pouring from her heart, soaking organs and bones, melting into the skin like acid. It burnt so fastly, yet it never seemed to end. With a throbbing head, she couldn't hold the pain back anymore.
However, no sound ever left her lips parted in a silent scream. No whimper, no sob, no cry for help. The room was filled with silence as a heartbeat drummed in her ears in an agonizing rhythm.
I shouldn't have come on this ship in the first place. Only if I had been wise enough to leave when I got the chance. Syrup Village was a perfect option, I could've gone on another ship and continued my mindless traveling. Why did I bother myself with this? Why did I suddenly decide it was a great idea to be part of another crew when this only has brought me suffering?
With each second, she willingly aimed the gun at herself and every word was like a bullet.
I should've left. I would've been happier. I should've left it all behind when I realized this won't go well. Fuck the premonitions, fuck the destiny, damned be the world.
A body stripped of clothes and skin, only burnt flesh left behind the monster's bites. Broken ribs and a shattered heart pumping a meaningless life.
As seconds passed by one after another and her tears came to an end, the gentle swinging of the ship pulled her into a half-asleep state.
She noticed when Luffy came into the room and she was aware of his position on Zoro's bed — the cracking of the wood gave him away. As the Straw Hat talked, she only heard the swordsman's name being spoken, some words here and there, but most of his monologue was muffled.
He probably thought she was asleep because of her slow and steady breathing.
Exhaustion was clawing at her muscles and brain, but something kept her aware of the surroundings for a few more minutes.
Everything turned pitch black in her perspective. A husky and deep voice made her believe she was dreaming, the tips of her mouth curling shily upwards.
Only if it would've been reality.
"Zoro!"
Her entire body flinched and she raised her head, wide eyed. If she didn't know any better, she would've said her soul jumped out of her.
"Luffy?" she whispered, confused on why he yelled the swordsman's name—
"You're not dead!" Luffy shouted again, loud enough for everyone in Baratie to hear.
He's alive? the witch thought to herself. I really heard his voice.
Luffy crawled on top of Zoro and squeezed the life out of him. Literally.
"Now I wish I was," she heard Zoro mumble between grunts.
He was alive.
The witch's lungs filled with fresh air for the first time that day. Relief washed over her and her body relaxed, shoulders deflating as some of the weight sitting on them fell into the sea below.
While leaning her body against the wall, she managed to get up just to get a better view of the swordsman who was squinting his eyes at the ceiling. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, head falling forward.
At least one thing went right, didn't it?
After Luffy got up from above Zoro, the swordsman managed to take some deep gulps of air, chest raising up and falling rhythmically.
"I had the strangest dream that Nami left," he said with a frown on his face as he closed his eyes.
"She did," the witch responded faintly.
There wasn't enough courage in her to look at him as she said that, instead choosing to glance at the window.
Zoro looked again at the ceiling and realized her voice was too faint for all of that to be a mere joke, a prank thrown at him for staying unconscious for… for how long?
"It's my fault," Luffy said with his chin lowered.
From the corner of his eye, Zoro saw the witch place a hand on their captain's shoulder.
"We'll find a way."
There was a promise etched onto her fragile smile. As if a simple brush of air or one wrong world could make her crumble.
But she didn't. Instead, she threw a knowing look to Zoro and silently told him to talk with Luffy. She knew the Straw Hat needed his first mate's support at that moment.
What confused Zoro the most was watching the witch get out of the room without too much of a word. Her hair bounced as she stepped further away from him and their friends. Even as his ribs and body hurt at every inhale, he wanted to understand the real reason for her leaving.
Last time they talked, she expressed worry. What happened in the meantime? What the fuck went wrong?
There was a fat chance she was still mad at him for whatever reason. Sure, she was calm, collected, but he could swear he's seen fire burning in her eyes more than just once and a grin splayed on her face at the thrill and adrenaline of a fight. She snapped at him when they fought and he had to admit it would've been sadder if she treated him with silence.
However, he didn't know if that was silence or something more.
Weird, he concluded.
His attention went back to Luffy. The swordsman couldn't manage watching the ever happy-go-lucky captain speak like a ghost.
"You didn't do anything wrong." He seriously hoped he could find the right words to bring Luffy back to reality.
There's no way that crew would fall apart without a proper fight. What has been was just the beginning.
"You acted like a captain."
"But the crew is falling apart," Luffy pulled his lips in a tight line.
"No, it's not," the green-haired firmly affirmed.
Maybe a lot more than Zoro thought has happened, but that was definitely not the end.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Before the sun could set and hide in the sea, they gathered some supplies for their new journey. They found out from the clown head — who they found out told Arlong where to find the Straw Hats — that Nami was most probably heading to Conomi Islands, specifically Cocoyashi Village. Sanji joined their crew, which made Luffy jump in excitement for the second time that day.
Luffy's folded arms were resting over the railing of Going Merry while he stared down at the water splashing against the ship.
"Does it always take so long?" Luffy spoke so softly.
Sanji chuckled with the fishing rod in his hand as he waited for a fish to catch the bait.
"We've only been here for two minutes, be patient," the cook reminded him. "Some days, they bite as soon as you drop the line and some days, it takes hours."
Then, he threw a knowing glance towards Luffy with an arch of his eyebrow.
"But we're not talking about fishing, are we?"
"I highly doubt it," the witch mumbled as she curled her fingers around her tarot deck.
She didn't dare to shuffle through the cards again, a side of her afraid of what was waiting for them. It felt uneasy everytime she got the impulse of taking the cards out and finding out which one of them holds the truth.
The witch was leaning with her back against the railing, not so far away from the Straw Hat, pressing her fingertips into the old box made of cardboard that fit perfectly in her hands.
Luffy smiled towards Sanji before he stared into the horizon with hope.
"I just want to know if Nami's okay."
"A beautiful, talented woman does not choose to ally herself with a pirate like Arlong," Sanji said firmly, convinced of his beliefs. "Nami clearly needs to be rescued."
The witch breathed in deeply and widened her eyes, trying to find the right words to tell them what she knew. A pair of heavy steps caught her attention and she immediately recognized the chiming filling the air.
Zoro. His hand was resting on his Wado Ichimoji — his only sword now.
"Her tattoo says different," he said.
The way he looked at the witch was bringing back to life some shattered pieces of her soul. He might look serene when sleeping, but he was better that way — wide awake and an asshole.
Also, he noticed something she couldn't pinpoint. There must've been a scar on her face, most probably. At first, he only stared at her face, just to lower his gaze. Oh. She didn't sleep for two days and got in a fight with a fishman, which left some nasty bruises on her bare neck.
"Well," Sanji argued, "tattoos don't tell the whole story. And like any woman, she's a mystery to be unraveled."
"Am I supposed to feel flattered?" the witch arched her eyebrow at the cook after she turned her head towards him.
Right at that moment, Zoro stepped between her and Luffy, restricting her view. All she could see was his chest, bandaged and with a red patch in the center.
"You should change your bandages," she looked up at him.
However, the witch was hesitant when she did so. As if the man in front of her could vanish in thin air.
Zoro turned to Sanji and decided to completely ignore her comment.
"Nami made her choice."
The cook immediately frowned, creases appearing on his forehead. His scowl was deeper than Zoro's.
"You don't know why," Sanji retorted.
As if getting snapped by Usopp, Zoro scoffed:
"The only thing I want to hear from you are dinner specials. You don't know Nami."
"Sounds like you don't know her either, Mosshead," Sanji spat with a taunting smile on his lips.
"Oh God, stop, you two," the witch sighed heavily, annoyed.
Just to get the swordsman's attention to her, she poked his back with the tip of her finger, digging deep enough to receive a light flinch. It seemed like she took him by surprise. She bent her back more as she continued resting her elbows on the railing to glance at Luffy over Zoro's shoulder.
"I'm sure Nami has her reasons," their captain nodded.
"I know Nami's reason."
All of their heads turned to the witch.
Usopp was just walking up the stairs of the forecastle when his eyes sparkled curiously.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"Nami," Zoro said quickly. "Why didn't you say anything until now?" that time, his sharp words were directed to the witch.
The witch shot him a glare, displeased by his reaction. However, she would've acted the same if someone was to hide something so important.
"It would've felt unfair to tell you before talking with her," the witch clarified.
"You talked with her about it?" Usopp suddenly intervened, surprised by the news.
The witch gripped at the tarot deck in between her hands tighter and clicked her tongue, trying to find the best words to explain.
"I did. Somehow," uncertainty latched onto her voice.
None of them rushed her anymore so she took her time.
"Listen, this isn't as easy as it seems to be. Yes, Sanji, she didn't willingly get into Arlong's crew."
A snarky remark sat on the cook's tongue and he wanted to throw it Zoro's way.
"But," the witch continued in order to stop an eventual argument, "she's fully aware of her actions. She was forced by the circumstances to do what she's doing, but it doesn't mean she likes acting like Arlong's crewmate. Nami certainly hates him from the bottom of her heart. He did something. Something that forced her to act like she's a friend just to protect something or someone. Or both. She's not only protecting herself, she's protecting what's most dear to her heart."
It wasn't the witch that spoke, but the gut feeling she had. Her thoughts didn't seem so clear in months, since her last successful tarot reading. Now, as the significance of each card sank into her brain, she knew what everything meant.
It wasn't her that spoke, but her intuition.
"She's keeping us away because she's scared we'd get hurt, not only because we would get in her way. Nami cares about us and that's exactly why she's pushing us away."
"Who does that?" Zoro wondered out loud.
Maybe he should've kept that to himself.
"You do that," the witch's head snapped towards him. "I do it. And Nami does. She said she tricked us — which was true. At the same time, she's tricking Arlong. He isn't her crewmate, he's an asshole that stole something from her—"
The witch got so carried away she didn't even realize what she just said. She suddenly furrowed her eyebrows into the void and received confused looks from her friends.
"He stole something. Her freedom."
Those words were said as she actively figured the details out, staring into the void.
"Witch?" Usopp nudged her.
"Yes?" she turned towards him.
"Did she tell you all these things?"
There was a light chuckle that left her lips at that question.
"The cards did. Her reactions just gave her away and answered my doubts."
The witch knew what games she was playing. She's been doing these things for years and not only — she trusted her gut feeling above everything else.
She received an especially confused look from the cook, who had no clue why she was called a witch. He probably supposed it was because she was beautiful or maybe secretive.
He should've taken that nickname literally.
"What do we do then?" Zoro turned his head towards their captain.
Luffy listened intently to everything the witch had to say and he made up his mind since long ago:
"I want to hear her decision for myself."
"That's for the best," the witch nodded.
There was more she would've liked to say, but speaking from the gut was both easier than usual and harder when tired. Considering the last time she got some proper sleep was before they got attacked by the Marines, she could say it's been long enough for her mind to get clouded.
Stuck in her thoughts as she was, the grip on her tarot deck loosened up and the object fell from her hold on the wooden floor. The witch's exhausted brain registered that too many seconds later.
A deep frown appeared between her eyebrows, blinking in an attempt to clear her vision while she bent down to take the deck in her hand.
Obviously, she failed.
When her back was straight again, her vision went pitch black and a heavy throbbing settled in her temples. The ship swayed worse than a second ago. She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes closed.
The witch has been in that situation before. She stood still, because attempting to walk would've ended in a passionate kiss with the floor.
When the sensations dissipated little by little, tiredness was everything left behind.
"I'm gonna get some rest," she mumbled, the words a little slurred.
With her eyes now opened wide enough to see where she's heading, she walked towards the stairs and cussed them out one by one.
Falling like an idiot wasn't on her to-do list for that day.
By some miracle, she managed to walk all the way into the galley. The room she shared with Nami was hers, but it was too far away. Her feet barely carried her to the dark red sofa she let her body fall on like a sack.
She didn't care about the clothes she hasn't changed from, too caught up with everything that has happened. There was enough time for a shower later, when exhaustion wasn't seeping into her bones. The only thing she had the decency to do was to take her boots off.
She stretched her legs and put an arm under her head, resting on her side to face the room. Not the most comfortable place to sleep in, but after all of that tumult, nothing mattered anymore.
The sweet sound of jingling disturbed her again.
Oh, god dammit.
She was one breath away from cussing Zoro's ass and his earrings — despite being in ecstasy that he woke up. The witch, as if expecting his next move, bent her knees to make space for him. The swordsman plopped himself down with a grunt at the other side of the sofa and her bare feet touched his thigh.
She didn't dare mutter a word about his presence. Zoro could stay. Gosh, as she was thinkingln about it, she could only believe it was a blessing he wasn't only awake, but also throwing remarks her way.
It was so much better than telling stories of her past to an unconscious Mosshead.
Right.
The edges of her mouth curled in a smile.
"What?"
"Mosshead," she chuckled, eyes still closed.
Zoro let out a scoff and she could imagine him rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
"Didn't you say you were going to rest?"
His voice was unusually low and even soft, pulling her towards the dreamland.
"I'd say this place is perfect," she mumbled.
The witch didn't bother to explain she was tired out of her mind or that her feet would most likely betray her if she dared to get up.
The silence was filled with their breathing and the sounds of the water splashing against their ship, the cracks of the wood. She remembered the times when she traveled with her father's crew and she would many times fall asleep curled next to a barrel while the vice-captain was still singing sea shanties in the middle of the night.
"Zoro," the witch whispered.
She was too weary to care about what left her mouth. It acted like alcohol — it clouded her mind and she felt shameless.
"What if I wouldn't have stepped on this ship?"
That question plagued her mind and she finally said it out loud.
"So the last ship was more to your taste?" he snickered. "It almost sank in the sea."
"You're such an ass," and while that phrase might've sounded harsh in the past, at that moment it was filled with fondness.
"Been told that before."
I really missed that voice.
"For someone with a big ass bruise on your neck, you sound more like a coward than I thought."
Maybe she deserved that serious tone thrown her way. Was he right? Only halfway through.
"No," she was stubborn enough to fight the sleep for a few more minutes. "What if I would've been happier? Y'know, less worries, no people to haunt my ass. No anxiety."
No crying over you for being almost dead.
The continuation sat on the tip of her tongue and got swallowed back with a gulp. Was there really a need for an admission? Puffy eyelids and dark circles under her eyes, chapped lips and bandages around her forearm soaked in blood. Those details were enough proof.
"Do you hate us that much?" his low voice sent shivers down her spine.
"It's not about that. Just…" she gulped and curled her fingers around the tarot deck she was still holding onto. "I want some peace."
"I say you should get some sleep."
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Standing on the deck felt right, even if the witch doesn't remember why she was there. She can't point out the weather clearly, it feels blurry. Seconds ago she was in the kitchen talking with Sanji about some unusual topic she couldn't remember.
Then why was she suddenly on the deck, face to face with a kneeling Zoro who had two swords piercing through his upper body from behind? She didn't only know it was him, she felt like it was him, as if the pieces connecting in her head were just right. However, it horrified her. Everything around him was blurry except for him.
Him, whose essence of life was pouring down his body, creating a puddle under him, sinking into the cracks of the wooden floor. The crimson liquid melted into his white t-shirt. Now that she was looking better at it, she noticed the sharp point of a sword penetrating all the way through his stomach to the front side of his body.
He was looking up at her, despite the way his chin was tilted down. Those sharp brown eyes were boring holes through her. His beautiful irises painted with the warm nuances of chocolate and coffee were scary, like no other time.
Was Luffy next to her? It feels like it was him, even if she can only distinguish a silhouette in the corner of her right eye.
Why was Zoro looking at her like that? She couldn't move, as if her feet were stuck in place. She didn't know if she was breathing or if she was alive anymore. She didn't know why she was on the deck, why those swords took his life away. It barely made any sense that he had enough energy to stare at her.
He didn't falter once. He didn't beg for help, her name didn't come out of his mouth, no groans, no nothing.
She couldn't move. As she stood in the same place, her anxiety was rising up, up, up, until she felt like panicking despite the lack of reaction. She felt like exploding, but she couldn't express those horrific feelings.
She couldn't help him. Her arms were stuck by the sides of her body, as if someone had put a spell on her. She had the will to move her legs, to get closer to him, she wanted to, but she remained glued in that spot. She couldn't feel her body.
She had to do something, but she was trapped inside an unmoving object that was her own body. Why?
Everything snapped.
The smallest hope towards an escape woke her up. Her eyes opened instantly and she raised up in a sitting position, eyes frantically searching for more clues, for answers about the horrifying images she just saw before her eyelids.
Her heart was beating so fast it made her wish she didn't have it at all, a deafening ba-dump repeating in her eardrums over and over again.
Unfortunately, she was face to face with the swordsman she dreamt of. Instantly, as if she was shot, she looked at his upper abdomen. For no more than two seconds, she saw a big black patch on his bandages.
She inhaled deeply and her heart was beating faster, suddenly unable to release that breath of air. Her eyes widened and her hands shook, chest tight.
"Hey," she heard more of a background sound.
She blinked countless times, until her tired brain figured out that it was just her imagination. It was so dark in the room and her nightmare was a shock, the reason why at some point the patch started blurring out, inviting her to blink until it turned to be one small spot. It has been there since he woke up from his slumber.
When the realization sank in, she let go of that breath and let out a pitiful whimper. Deep inside, it felt like relief, her eyes now squeezed shut.
This time, he clearly called her name after his fingers securely gripped at her shaking shoulders, avoiding her wound. Her hands were trembling, her entire being disturbed.
Zoro said her name, not the nickname she got so used to hearing on that ship. Not the usual Witch, a word that sounded so endearing coming from her crewmates; no, it was her name and it was spoken so softly she could've confused him for someone else.
She had a poor attempt at recalling those images in order to figure out the reality, but it backfired. The bloody scene stuck before her closed eyes pushed her to open them up again.
Thankfully, his dark gaze was warm, filled with unspoken worry. For a brief moment she wondered how he woke up, since he slept like the dead sometimes.
"I'm surprised I managed to wake you up," her voice trembled.
He didn't joke back at her. Instead, his thumbs started rubbing slow circles into her shoulders in order to bring her back to earth. Or, better said, back to the ship that was peacefully sailing on the sea during the night.
"I think you should correct your breathing," he pointed out.
Once she changed from autopilot breathing, it felt like her throat was tight.
"Breathe in."
Blindly, she trusted his instructions. That mere breath shook her again, feeling shivers when she allowed the oxygen to sink into her lungs, the same way his voice sank into her being, in the cracks of her soul.
It took a few minutes until that normal bodily process didn't seem like an impossible task. Her muscles were tense until Zoro squeezed her shoulders again.
She could distinguish more of his face than just the warmth she noticed not long ago. His expression seemed pained with worry and not from a wound that could kill him, even if there still were bandages wrapped around his torso. Maybe it was also fear that made him look so different from usual; or was it confusion?
"I'm sorry for destroying your sleep."
It was half a lie. She wasn't sorry about the touch keeping her afloat, about how she managed to breathe again only because of his presence, because he was clearly awake and alive. At the same time, she knew he needed to rest so his wound could heal properly.
"Be serious," he huffed in a lower voice, clearly displeased.
"I am. You should sleep."
"Just like you should, but I doubt you will."
"I'd argue about that."
She was still tired, even if her shock from earlier struck her like thunder. Her eyes could close at any moment, which she feared, because another nightmare didn't sound good even for how stress resistant she became.
Since he heard her soft whimper when she was still sleeping, he had no clue what to do, how to act. One thing was clear: it was better to wake her up, despite the possibility she might get defensive and attack.
Alright, now what the heck do I do? He's had nightmares before, he's seen horrendous things during his sleep countless times, but he didn't have any idea about what to do for her. Was he even supposed to do something? She didn't like being pampered — maybe he should act like nothing happened. However, the fear coloring her face earlier shocked him as well. The witch has always been collected, she had such a firm grip on her reactions it was annoying sometimes.
The swordsman shook his head, but didn't let go of her. Instead, he leaned against the cushions on his side, while his hands fell down to her forearms to get a comfortable position of his limbs and upper body. The wound on his chest sent daggers through him at each movement. Barely a day of consciously dealing with it and he's already got annoyed.
The witch looked down at where their bodies were connected. His long calloused fingers were securely wrapped around her arms, close to her wrists. When did her legs end up in his lap she didn't know. Her bare knee tingled with warmth — why?
"You had a weird reaction after you woke up," his whisper stirred something in her heart.
"What do you mean? I had plenty of reactions."
Are you playing the idiot with me? Zoro thought.
"You were more scared of seeing me than of the nightmare."
"Oh."
Why did the Mosshead have to be so observant? It was one of the reasons why she was attracted to him, evidently, but sometimes he exposed her too easily.
She dropped her chin and looked down at her own hands. Admitting that she feared his role as the main character of a tragedy for the second time felt embarrassing for some unknown reason. She's been in enough humiliating situations and he never ridiculed her.
Zoro was utterly stuck. Was he supposed to move away? His body felt too heavy to get off the sofa and go to his room. It wouldn't be alright leaving her alone with her crippling anxiety either, considering she was prone to overthinking.
He wanted to do something, but what?
He let out a long sigh and rested his head against the cushions, his fingers still curled around her wrists. Her pulse was fast, but as seconds passed by, it slowed down under the weight of his thumbs.
The witch became hyper aware of the situation, but it felt too good to move away. Her tired brain entirely registered his presence and her eyes closed. She breathed in the chill air of the night and, while focusing so intently on Zoro's presence, she fell into a deeper state of mind, half asleep.
He was disturbed from his own journey into the dream realm when he felt a light weight on his shoulder. Once his eyes opened, he saw the cause: she leaned in closer to him, clearly unaware.
He smelled like the sea and the familiar scent of soap clung to the unbuttoned blue t-shirt he wore. With her forehead resting against his neck, the witch could vaguely point out his pulse. The safety of his embrace lulled her into a dreamless sleep while she focused on his slow breathing and the secure grip he had on her.
Zoro filled her senses so fiercely it was impossible not to melt into him, inhaling and exhaling in sync with him.
The swordsman had different sentiments about this and they were all confusing.
What am I doing? he scolded himself.
He moved his head and angled his face so he could look at the right side of her sleeping face. With long eyelashes resting over her soft cheeks, she looked like she didn't have a worry in the world, even if he knew better. Her shoulders would rise and fall rhythmically in such a slow pace, making him wonder what exactly exhausted her so much.
Then, his gaze fell on the purple marks on her neck and his jaw clenched. If he would've been awake when Arlong appeared at Baratie, maybe none of them would be like that. Maybe he would've had enough stubbornness to get answers from Nami and maybe Luffy wouldn't have been so close to drowning. Maybe those marks on her neck wouldn't have been there in the first place.
What the fuck am I doing?
Giving up, he rested his head back against the cushions with a scowl. He didn't understand himself and it was even harder to understand the woman sleeping so peacefully, too close to him.
Zoro let out a low displeased sound and closed his eyes, deciding to rest for a while. He didn't dare move away or wake her up either.
First and foremost he was displeased about the fact that he liked the proximity.
I wonder what that fishman's face looks like. It'll surely be a pleasure to slice him in half.
Tag list: @emelia07 @dimplewonie @tfamidoingwithmylife @murnsondock @the-skys-musical-echo @conspiracy-crows @hallow33nz @ramae17 @gaslysainz @bunntsu @katt58 @katiemrty @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @freyademartel @boofy1998 @ponyboys-sunsets @melsunshine @loveyluv7 @waddlingwanderer @jesssssmaybankk @nadlx33333 @yoong1c0re @untoldshortsofthefandoms @mizzy-pop @zoromyluv
#in search of freedom#naomiwrites#zoro x reader#zoro x you#zoro x y/n#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x you#roronoa zoro x y/n#opla zoro x reader#opla zoro x you#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece live action x reader#one piece live action x you#one piece live action#opla#opla zoro#opla fanfiction#one piece fanfiction#zoro fanfiction#one piece zoro#op zoro#zoro#zoro roronoa#pirate hunter zoro#x reader
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i recently rediscovered the poem written by taylor swift in 2017 following her reputation album. she put this poem right before her performance of getaway car on the reputation stadium tour.
i, of course, immediately linked this poem to elain archeron. elain is someone who is misunderstood and miscalculated by others. reputation always gave me rebirth vibes. elain has gone through a similar experience of a "rebirth" so-to speak. as of right now, elain is still a mystery of who she truly is as a character. in my opinion, she is the most intriguing of the three sisters.
alas, here is my analysis of the poem in thought of elain:
“When she fell, she fell apart. Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk When she crashed, her clothes disintegrated and blew away with the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends”
elain becoming cauldron-made turned into a dark, hollow version of herself. she retreated from her innocent outlook on life. she was no longer the same version of herself she once was
“When she lay there on the ground, She dreamed of time machines and revenge and a love that was really something, Not just the idea of something.”
elain gives me daydreaming of revenge vibes. you can tell she wants a love that’s not superficial, something true.
“When she finally rose, she rose slowly Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies Wary of phone calls and promises, Charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes”
elain is not totally accepting of her mating bond with lucien, reasonably so. she can’t possibly throw herself into another deep, true love only to have it end in tragedy like before.
“When she stood, she stood with a desolate knowingness Waded out into the dark, wild ocean up to her neck Bathed in her brokenness Said a prayer of gratitude for each chink in the armor she never knew she needed Standing broad-shouldered next to her was a love that was really something, not just the idea of something.”
the last two stanzas make me feel like elain will have a similar arc in her book. she’ll overcome her pain when it comes to opening up her heart, and see the love blossom between her and lucien.
“When she turned to go home, She heard the echoes of new words "May your heart remain breakable But never by the same hand twice" And even louder: "without your past, you could never have arrived- so wondrously and brutally y design or some violent, exquisite happenstance...here.”
happenstance? fate? choice? i honestly believe elain will navigate these themes in her book (so beautifully, too)
#elucien#elain archeron#lucien vanserra#acotar#elain x lucien#pro elucien#why she disappeared#taylor swift#reputation
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Z WHOLEHEARTEDLY recommends...
As I mentioned in Episode #21 of our Dangerous Romance podcast I love this song so much. The melody is so pretty and catching in a way that is both uplifting but also strangely melancholic.
When listening to it, for me it invokes images of dappled sunshine and a warm summer breeze, it has such a vibe that I feel like I'm not doing it justice.
Positioned in the first episode around the five-minute mark, only the instrumental was used, and yet the lyrics work so beautifully for them also.
I found an AI-written article about the meaning of the lyrics and I was just going 'YES, YES, YES!!!' the whole time I was reading it. (I love it when my obsessive insanity is backed up by things more intelligent than me.)
I want to share some bits from it here:
'The song "Infinity" by Bluma Petersen (featuring Nadja Alsén) explores themes of self-discovery, growth, and the enduring nature of love. The song begins with a greeting to emotions, indicating a renewed awareness and connection to one's own feelings. The reference to oceans and rain symbolizes the vastness and fluidity of emotions. The singer acknowledges their familiarity with their own patterns and identity, expressing that they are aware of their own circles and name.'
'The chorus, "Reform and rise to be so free, In time we seize infinity," conveys a message of personal transformation and liberation. It suggests that by embracing change and evolution, one can achieve a sense of ultimate freedom and boundlessness.
The verses continue to explore various themes. The mention of borders being out of order and being out of pain suggests breaking free from limitations and past suffering.'
Kang and Sailom both endure such substantial and life-changing character development, as they navigate first their friendship and then their romantic relationship and again when they're separated.
Sailom needed to break free of his strict self-imposed limitations and learn how to ask for help and also to allow the people who love him to care for him.
Kang needed to break away from his own self-doubt and fear while learning to understand that expectations can be a dangerous thing.
'The lyrics also touch upon the idea of fighting and holding the line, which could imply overcoming obstacles or standing up for oneself. The references to never hiding and never lying indicate a commitment to authenticity and honesty in relationships.'
Honestly, this song could have been written for them.
We spoke many times about the honesty between Kang and Sailom in moments when it mattered. Except for direct feelings, as they struggled to express both their love and fear, they were honest with each other.
'The repeated lines about coming home and going strong suggest a sense of reunion and strength within a romantic relationship. It implies that despite their individual journeys, they still find solace and support with each other. The conclusion of the song emphasizes the idea of limitless love, with the repetition of "infinity" signifying its eternal nature.
Overall, "Infinity" embodies a message of personal growth, perseverance, and the undying power of love. It encourages embracing change, facing challenges, and finding strength in relationships to achieve a sense of freedom and seize the infinite possibilities that life offers.'
This AI-written article makes me wonder if this particular AI has somehow become sentient and is a fan of Dangerous Romance and has devoured our podcast, because when I was reading the article it was like it was inteligently speaking on why I loved this song and why it couldn't have been more perfect both for that moment in the show and Kang and Sailom's relationship.
The fact that this song was chosen by someone involved in this show and they chose to only include the instrument piece at the start of the song both impresses and kind of angers me.
It's such a good fit - Did they not realize it? Or is this just one more way the Dangerous Romance crew made it known that they are far superior to other productions by encouraging its viewers to engage and really dig into this show?
The song ends much like the show with love and freedom to be themselves together, which will last an infinity.
The way the show ends with Kang coming back to Sailom who has become his home, and in return, Sailom coming to Kang in the hotel room to embrace past fears and hurts lends itself very well to the ideas of home and strength we see mentioned at the end of the song.
A line I somehow missed with my many screenshots "Now we're ready to be whole." Oh, my poor Kanghan Sailom heart.
I love this idea of them feeling equal to each other in the end because they make up each other's missing pieces and now when they're together they're whole.
#Spotify#Z loses her mind#i love this song#song meta?#dangerous romance ep 1#dangerous romance the series#kanghansailom#kangsailom#podcast#critical discussion#critical obsession podcast#infinity bluma petersen#song rec#playlist#it has rain in it#the rain is linked to emotions#i'm dying at how perfect this is#someone should stop me#z needs a timeout#song#music#who ever chose this need a raise and maybe an award#AI articles who knew#the AI gets it#Ba da dum#i'll confess part of this post was about trying to make Kess and M cry about KangSailom again#i'm evil like that#Z found an easter egg
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🎵
Send “🎵“ and I’ll reply with a song that’s related to my muse and I’ll explain why
ON ANOTHER OCEAN － Fleeting Foxes
Oh, this song. This song is so Lady and Six core. This is the song that inspired Seafarers ((although the fic is named after another beautiful song that always makes me think of them as well)) and my go-to when I need to get into that Six & Lady feel. If I had to pick a song to make a LN animatic to, it'd be this one.
The context of the song itself relates to various themes. Running away from responsabilities, the struggles that come with opening up to new people, not trusting anyone, being afraid of judgement -- so on. It also has tons of very nice eye imagery. It's a beautifully written and executed song, I beg you to go listen to it and then come back to this post.
I interpret the first half of the song to be applicable to both of them, with lines such as 《 Biding your time on another ocean, falling into line in the cold and dim 》 reminding me of the Maw and them both adhering to their respective roles in its sustainance. "Biding your time" is an expression I particularly love because it means waiting for something: the Lady waiting for Six to come find her. That's what the ticking clock in her room is, at the end of the day, isn't it? In the context of Seafarers, I named the first chapter after this line because the Lady is waiting for Six to kill her -- which eventually doesn't end up happening.
^^ ((《 Was [s]he not quite as you had conceived [her]? 》; this line will also apply to Six later on, when she realizes that the Lady is much closer to her in nature than she is to the other monsters and it deeply unnerves her. 《 Did the colors of the light hide the fire in the eyes? 》 also applies to this context as the Lady did not expect Six to rebel to the cycle [and later on to her] and gets angry at her for it. During the same instance, Six also finds herself afraid of the Lady's sudden display of emotion because up to a few seconds ago, the Lady was going to give up, but now she -- much like her -- is reactig driven by survival instinct. Most importantly, this is the first time Six sees a slither of humanity in an adult and the fact that it's so close to her own, again, destabilises her. Everything they do is completely unexpected for the other and as much as they wish it was incomprehensible, they always find points that ties them to the other and it stings.))
The two lines preceeding the chorus, 《 Wherever you run, you see all you leave behind you/you see only eyes behind you 》 is again applicable to both of them, and how they literally and figuratively cut their pasts away from their current selves, and yet it always finds a way to catch up to them one way or another. And of course, the more literal eyes they live under, always watching them.
The titular "other ocean" in this context is each other. They are the other ocean the other can't seem to open up to. Something that is so foreign and yet so familiar.
The second verse of the song is more easily divided into Lady and Six bits. I see it as a conversation between each other and reflections on themselves. The first verse is VERY Lady talking to Six as it states:
《 So, do you think the smoke won't enfold you? 》, referring of course to the ending of LN I, but also to the fate that has bestowed the Lady and the ones before her. To the madame, Six's refusal to go through with her fate is the uncomfortable demonstration that she too had that same power. And instead she just chose to follow it because it was easier. The Lady wouldn't give up her position for anything in the world, but even then, this freedom Six has makes her incredibly angry. She is convinced that eventually all this will catch up go Six. It continues with, 《 Or there'll be someone waiting for you, out in the distance then? 》, which is meant to be a derision as the Lady and Six both know that there is no one and nothing waiting for Six off the Maw. No place can ever provide the comfort and safety the Maw does. Whatever is out there will be infinitely worse. There is no certainty, no guarantee that she will live: nothing at all. Six is completely alone and defenseless anywhere that is not the Maw.
The next verse is from Six's perspective. It is a plead, sort of, but also an acknowledgement.
《 If only anything could change you.》 This line resonated very strongly with me while writing because I think it encapsulates the feeling of "child acting like an adult and adult acting like a child" perfectly. In the context of Seafarers, the Lady is essentially throwing a very elegant tantrum. On the other hand, Six is reflecting. Her plan is to escape the Maw, yes, and to do that she needs to study a way out. Doing so causes her to inevitably come to "know" the Lady and, while their similarities cause her to be incredibly uncomfortable and upset, it also creates an inexplicable feeling of kinship.
Wanting to be understood is human. And Six is a nine year old girl who has lived through the unimaginable. None of her peers has gone through what she has. But the Lady did. Out of everyone, she is the only one who could ever understand Six. If only they could see eye to eye. Six is young, she doesn't know how to put this feeling to words and even if she did, she doesn't want to admit it as she knows it will be immediately rejected: it's frustrating as it is sad. 《 If only you knew what you claim to, if only every sign you cling to -- if only they were so. 》
I find the 《 And I won't bleed out if I know me 》 line to be incredibly Ladycore because... the Lady doesn't know herself. And she will bleed out eventually because of it.
The 《 Don't deny me! 》 comes from both ends. Six asks for the Lady to not deny her (by extension, her own past self she sees in her, as well as the yellow raincoat they both used to share), and the Lady orders Six not to deny their shared fate and the legacy of the Lady of the Maw.
The 《 I will lead it in the morning, I won't even if I know it 》 is Six eventually trying to come to terms with her future once the Lady is gone. A part of her has been irrequivocably changed from the experience (( 《 You [Six] ended up too strained 》 )) but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't want to be on the Maw. She doesn't want to be the next Lady. Even if she was to try like her predecessor tried to manipulate her into, she would still crave freedom. She would always look for somewhere else to go.
On one hand, she has her duties and responsibilities towards the children of the Maw; on the other, herself. She has to let go of one to let the other survive. And suddenly she is in the Lady's shoes, back when she was still named Five. The intentions of the two are very different though: while Six wants to look out for her peers, Five only cared about her own protection. But the outcome might still be the same; at the end of her journey, Six might no longer be Six.
《 We're in the eye sometimes. Too young... too young... 》
#「 MILD AMUSEMENT、AT BEST 。」 － memes#「 ANYONE YOU OPEN ON ANOTHER OCEAN 」 － 《seafarers》 verse#「 YOU DARE BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU ？」 － the lady & six#// this is my craziest moment i need to apologise#loserstripes#// sorry anner now you know why it took so long for this to be finished#// i love them immensely#// the fact that this is just a specific aspect of seafarers lore should be telling bruh there is so much i left out#// this was about six and the lady specifically
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hello, nat!
I’m sorry I’m advance for all the rambling I’m about to unleash on you! 😭
I’ve tried reading AHB exactly 3 times. it was a lie at fist sight really, from the first time james and remus had their back and forth I was sold. and then regulus appeared. oh, I was grinning so hard and giggling like a maniac, truly. so I’ve read till their ‘date not date’ at the museum and when regulus went in about aivazovsky’s ‘gathering storm’ and how he loves paintings of bodies of water, I was on the floor because all I could think about was ‘he’s just like me, my soulmate, oh’ because my all time favorite art is vasilyev’s ‘mountains and sea’ which is not technically a painting of water BUT I’ve always thought more about the importance of it than the landscape, so it counts (?) I guess (?)
and then oh boy, I made a mistake in the name of anxiety. when I fall for characters, I just need to know they will be happy in the end or, scratch that, I just need to know the ending or else I can’t function. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAA NOT READY. OH MY. i was confused and hurt and in complete denial but also understanding that it’s very much real, so I was crying and said ‘no, we’re not doing that if I love them all so much after 6 chapters, what will happen when I read it all and it ends like that’. naturally, my resolve had faded in two days because I just needed more of that amazing story, and hey! i! can! do! this! I couldn’t and they second I went on, my phone met the marble floor and didn’t like it one bit. NATURALLY it didn’t stop me. so the third time was the charm and oh it hurts. but it was so good. i can’t express it in words just how amazing this work of art is. absolutely incredible, everything about it is spectacular. the characters, the themes, the plans, the art talks, the development. you’re such a masterful crafter, truly! every character is unique and interesting, so beautifully written and developed. with reg taking the cake because he’s just. wow. everything to me. just there’s something about him that calls to you the second he appears. he’s like a force of nature, the see itself, so alluring and mysterious, calling and calling. damn. I’m losing the plot here. SO! i really just wanted to pop up here and tell you that you’re an incredible artist and your work might’ve given my emotional damage the side of the Pacific ocean but this is what art is all about … right (?) * pretending not to cry * AHB is truly a masterpiece and something very, very beautiful and inspiring and emotional and just completely captivating. 🤍
hello friend!
never apologize for rambling!
ahh !! vasilyev’s mountains and sea is such a gorgeous painting!!! oil realism >>> i love the mountains in it!! they're so green !! and it totally counts !!! also i get needing to know the ending, that's very fair and valid of you! asjkghdg i very much admire your commitment to continue the story even after knowing the ending!!
oh my goodness, i cannot thank you enough for your kind words about art heist! they mean the world to me! i am so glad you enjoyed my story and connected with regulus !! :,))) and thank you for taking the time to send me this thoughtful message !! <333
I hope you have a wonderful end to your year and i'm sending you all the best!!
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Hi! Kinda new here! I was wondering about what BLs could you or anyone recommend? I’ve recently watched: Be Loved In House:I Do, We Best Love,KeiKoi and Lovely Writer,so you kinda get the vibes that I like haha. I’m also currently watching TMS2 since I’ve watched the first one,and even though It’s been kinda heart-breaking,I’m actually very much in love with how it’s directed and written; beautifully for me (as I am with every show listed above lol). And also,does anyone also feel like Taiwanese and Japanese BLs (I just watched TMS from Korea,so I don’t really have an opinion!) have been EATING so much more than Thai BLs? I just think the way they develop the stories is so different,I don’t really know how to explain it haha
hiii anon!! 💜
welcome to the fandom!! lol.
There are a ton of shows out there lmao and based on the ones you watched, I'm assuming you're more into the more generic taiwanese bls and the more elevated thai bls haha. Regarding which country produces the better bls, I don't think you can generalize that lol. they’re all so different. taiwan and japan have been putting out a lot of good stuff, however I find myself coming back to thai bls lol. But it’s a matter of taste.
Lovely Writer is one of my all time favorites and also We Best Love is amazing so you got good taste 😄 Also before I recommend stuff, know that all shows can be watched here. Just type in the title and it will pop up 😉
TAIWAN:
If you're looking for more stuff like BLIH and WBL, I generally recommend the HIStory series, which has multiple seasons with multiple installments so there's a lot to cover lmao. But you probably came across that already. My personal favorites are make our days count (season 3) and close to you (season 4) but you can find a list of all of them here. Another one that I liked was Dark Blue and Moonlight which is very polarizing and a lot of people didn’t like it because it’s a little controversial but I loved it.
JAPAN:
I haven’t seen a looot of japanese stuff but the ones I really liked were:
- Cherry Magic (soooo lovely. you’re gonna love this one I promise)
- His: Didn’t think I would fall in love
- My Beautiful Man
- Fujoshi, Ukkari Gei ni Kokuru (this one is so underrated, it’s a masterpiece imo)
- Mr. Unlucky has no choice but to kiss
- The Man Who Defies The World of BL (ss1 + ss2)
KOREA:
If you’re looking for some good korean bls, my personal favorites are:
- To My Star season 1, we don’t speak of season 2
- Light On Me
- The Tasty Florida
- Ocean Likes Me
- Blueming
- Semantic Error
THAILAND:
oof where do I start lmao. I guess if you’re looking for something similar to Lovely Writer, I recommend:
- Love Stage (this has a somewhat similar plot, however a lot more comedic)
- Theory of Love (one of my absolute favorites)
- Until We Meet Again (a little darker than the rest but very well produced)
- Club Friday The Series Season 8 (very underrated!!!)
- I Told Sunset About You & I Promised You the Moon
- Cupid's Last Wish (this one is so cute, I highly recommend)
- Cutie Pie (very good production and extremely successful - worth the hype imo)
- Friend Zone (this one is messy af but so good lol)
- Love Mechanics (this one just started so I don’t wanna give it a rating yet but it has an impressive production quality)
An honorable mention goes out to Not Me. It’s a different genre than the other ones I listed, it includes socio-criticism and political topics. But even if you’re not into these kinds of themes, I still highly recommend it just because it’s so so so good.
That got long lol sorry.
I hope this helped you anon; additionally to these recommendations I also have a recommendations tag that you can check out, as well as this list of all my favorites 😊
have fun watching and have a lovely day! Also as always, feel free to drop replies with more recommendations!
xxx
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Hi, I just wanted to stop by and thank you because some of your posts made me listen to hozier and now I am in love. So thank you very much<3 (this is slightly random but have you ever read something that gave you ~hozier vibes~ I feel like a (poetry) book from him would solve all my problems, but alas I have to chase books by others that might have a similar vibe) ((also: I might go see him on his european tour with the girl I have a crush on!))
you have no idea how happy this ask made me. i am so so happy i had a hand in you discovering one of my personal favourite artists. if i accomplish nothing else in life, at least i did introduce you to hozier! i’ll attend one of his european shows too and i am beyond excited (not with a date tho 😭)!!! so happy you might go to one of his shows with your crush!! i’m SO JEALOUS like that’s the ideal date night idea!!!! did you get tickets yet?
you’re definitely not the only one desperate for a book/poetry collection by him, jo and i have been unsuccessfully manifesting it for AGES. as for book/poetry recs…. it’s quite hard tbh. i don’t think i have read anything that captures the exact same vibe. mary oliver does have poetry that really plays into the nature symbolism and a lot of anne carson’s stuff does have that desperate/consuming/toxic love element (e.g. her verse novel autobiography of red). i also think ocean vuong’s poetry is bursting with emotions, and his novel on earth we’re briefly gorgeous is a lyrical masterpiece (it deals more with the immigrant experience in america and family dynamics though). deathless by catherynne m. valente is beautifully written and does echo some darker notions of love in its story (it’s very much about the vibes). this is how you lose the time war is also very lyrical with a touching love story that reaches through space and time. i just reread it and it was even better on a reread. ((if you’re into (mature) YA with whimsical writing/nature theme/magical elements/people obsessing over each other i can recommend you maggie stiefvater’s the raven cycle series. it lives in my head rent-free.)) but yeah all these are just approximations of some aspects of hozier’s music/songwriting….
that’s everything i could think of just now, but if anyone has other recs or associations to add pls be my guest!!!
#you really made my day with this ask. i was so excited to see it in my inbox the day i got it!!#it took me a little time to respond bc i wanted to not just post it with almost no comment and i am pretty busy atm :/#so yeah it took me a while.#hope you’re having a lovely day!! <3#anon#for bad days#answer
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RYEN I MISS YOU 😭 been swamped with work as usual ☹ madame, even if you set a goal post like 1000 for 3tan BBQ pt2 (IT'S GONNA BE SPICY???), you already know we'll hit it in like 1-2 business days 💀 just prepare your inbox though 💀💀💀
anyway, I love your work as usual 🥰 I didn't get to answer your ask last time on why your writing is so special, but basically your work is so much fun to read and re-read because you:
- put in a lot of easter eggs omg
- are very inclusive, thoughtful, and so, so accommodating 🥺
- are so consistent with the characters and storyline. I asked you this before if you had it all plotted out and I think you said no, just the main storyline, which was a shock to me because of your consistency
- your way with words. one of my faves being the usage of moonlight, sunshine, the deep, blue, vast ocean (basically everything in Forfeit 💀). it's kinda like story, story, spiceeee, story, then suddenly, beautiful metaphors. you write simply, but very beautifully 🥰
this quickly turned into a Ryen lovefest bec I missed u 🥺 anyway, 3tan BBQ pt2 please I beg. I need more wet demon Yoongi and hot reader who doesn't back down with her gaddamn sundresses and lollipop 😍
- also, the back scratches yes omg hot, but hickeys???? MARKING RYEN??? YES
- them calling Yoongi out for being whipped and him not denying *melts*
- Shiv and Dom, I adore their dynamic omg 💀
- 3tan Bro, I missed him sm 😭
- Jimin and Tae, my sweet baby cupids 😍 I will assume this is after they heard all the 3tanW shenanigans 💀💀💀
This ask is a mess. I am a mess 💀
ANNE I MISS YOU TOOOO😭 looks like we've both been super busy lately.. hopefully you find some time to yourself to rest<3 and lmfaooo i dunno if we'd ever do a goal post of 1,000! i thought 500 was lofty enough💀 but you're too damn kind to think it could be done!
as for the fanfic writer specialty points: thank you! easter eggs are incredibly fun to incorporate in stories, and dear god i want everything to be as inclusive as possible bc i know what it's like to feel excluded from a story, if that makes sense? i hated that feeling when i was reading regularly, so that's why i try my absolute hardest to not let anyone feel left out while reading something i wrote. even though all my written readers are poc/bipoc to me, i still make an effort to keep the stories inclusive.
as for the consistency, thank you! that's something that i have to keep in mind bc of the organic nature of 3tan. if i plot too much, it messes with my flow lol but then i have to keep going back to see what happened and keep going from there.
AWHHHH thank you for the word play comment.. that makes me happy bc i've noticed it while writing sometimes. like "oh, i guess this is a running theme i like to use, huh?" lol then i try not to do it too too much. and writing simply helps me bc i'm already using enough brainpower as is, so to be able to let a lot of things be simple and short eases that workload.
AHAHAH lollipop is on the way!! you caught the hickey thing, huh.. that might come up again in the next part lmfaoooo and shiv and dom! loved them in this and there could be more in the future for sure. i missed all of these people, too<3 3tan bro is a sweetheart in this one and i'm glad we were able to see more of his true character! and we don't know where this is in the storyline (if it is at all!) so who knows what context vmin have here lmfao
thank you for reading and for all of the thoughtful words, wow.. i miss you so much so seeing this message made me scream!!
#maybe i'll finally tell y'all what 3tan reader looks like to me#but i'll save that for a lot later down the line!#anne!#asks:3tan#what's my fanfic writer specialty?#lovely people#*ryenfictalk#mailbox💌#long post#3tanbbq
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Disney Cruise Lines Inspired Pina Colada Bread Pudding Recipe
I recently discovered that I love bread pudding. Like a lot. Of course, I made this discovery at Disney after having far too much banana bread pudding at Tusker House’s character breakfast… And too many pots of English bread pudding at Earl of Sandwich… And staying at the Polynesian and smelling the awesome bread pudding every day for a week…
Anyway, when I got back, I had a serious craving for bread pudding. When I came across the pina colada bread pudding recipe, something that combines my love of coconuts and pineapples, along with a bit of alcohol, I made creating this recipe a priority.
More Delicious Recipes You Will Love:
- Penne Alla Vodka – Mama Melrose’s Ristorante Italiano
- Pollo A Las Rajas – San Angel Inn
- Pop Century – A Pop Culture Blast From The Past!
Seriously, what doesn’t sound amazing about pina colada anything, much less pina colada bread pudding? My mouth is watering just typing this…
I made this recipe exactly as written, to the letter, even the custard sauce (which as anybody who reads this blog can tell you is something that constantly gives me trouble). I love that this is one of those recipes that I just adored making, from start to finish. I loved the smell in the kitchen, I loved working with all the ingredients, I loved how it all came together, I loved sneaking bites of it before it was cooked all the way, and I love, love, loved the end result.
This tasted exactly like I hoped it would, sweet and coconuty, soft with a little crunch… Just perfect. I did use canned pineapple as opposed to fresh, but that’s directly tied to the fact that I hate cutting pineapple. I just made sure to use crushed pineapple and I drained it really, really well.
I wondered while I was making it if I should add shredded coconut to the mixture for an extra bump of coconut, but I’m glad I didn’t. Bread pudding is so much about texture and consistency that I think the coconut would have been a bit much, though adding a splash of coconut or rum extract (or both) would be a great way to bump up those flavors if one wanted something more pronounced.
It kept in the fridge really well, even reheated beautifully. I actually wish I had thought to freeze some (as opposed to eating the whole dish in a few days… No, I’m not proud of it, but I did it) because I bet it would have done well in the freezer as well. I’ve heard of people making the whole dish the night before a big breakfast and then just baking it the next morning, which I think is absolutely brilliant and I can only imagine how awesome it would taste with an entire night marinating and soaking up all those juices.
Yes, as per usual the custard sauce defeated me a bit… It was runnier than it should have been. By a lot. But despite not looking like it should have, it still tasted phenomenal. I also may have over-browned (aka burned) some of the bread when I had it in the broiler, but since you can’t see it in the pictures, I admit to nothing.
A new favorite breakfast recipe? You win again, Disney.
~~~~ °o° ~~~~
In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today?
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Interactive Fiction to Look Out For On Itch.io
itch.io is a trove of interactive fiction games, visual novels, and kinetic novels of all types, and I’ve run into a good handful that I think are worth highlighting (and playing again myself!)
Many of these I haven’t finished yet due to the sheer amount of content or because I went for the ending I wanted straight away, but I’d love to finish them thoroughly and perhaps review some of them in the future.
A couple notes! First, it’s been a while since I’ve played some of these games, and some of them I haven’t seen all of the paths. I try to give warnings where needed, but my warnings might not be complete as I don’t know absolutely everything in each game. Please check the games’ pages and look after yourself!
Secondly, many of these are available free, and some are for sale at a low minimum price, but I encourage you to supporter the writers, artists, composers and developers in any way you can, whether that’s giving them a follow, donating, or just leaving a nice comment. Supporting indie creators is a huge part of what this blog is about so give back to those who create things you love! Now let’s get into the list!
Visual Novels:
Hikeback is a horror visual novel about hitchhiking, time loops, and murder. It gives a lot of incentive to keep playing and replaying, as the story advances almost every time you start again, with new choices and details being revealed as it all unravels. This game is incredibly engaging and beautifully written, and lives up to the promise of time loops and meta game mechanics. I recommend this for anyone who wants a good spooky, existential story. Be warned of loud noises, jumpscares, glitch effects, blood and violence, abuse, and themes of self harm, suicide, and depression. The itch.io pge has a list of content warnings as well as a full spoilery breakdown of warnings if you need them. You can find Hikeback on itch.io here!
Nothing to Say is a Visual Novel dating sim where you go on a date with Zoe, a girl you really like. The only problem is you’re very, very nervous. In this smart little game, you’ll be limited in how many letters you can use to express yourself, and you’ll have to unlock further dialogue options by getting to know Zoe, being honest with her, and being cute together. You’ll only earn letters from dialogue options once, encouraging you to explore more dialogue each playthrough until you get all the options to fully tell Zoe how you feel. Nothing to Say is playable here on itch.io!
Text-Interactive:
The Three-Body Problem is a queer romance interactive fiction about celestial witches living in a dark, magical wood when they encounter a young stranger. It features a nonbinary character, a potential polyamorous relationship, and healthy dom/sub dynamics. I found this story sweet and charming, with likable characters and pretty, easy to follow story writing. The Three-Body Problem deals with themes of abuse in a compassionate manner, and is in large part about healing and finding people with whom you are safe. I recommend it for anyone wanting a nice queer romance read with fantasy elements. Watch out for themes of abuse and sexual themes. You can purchase The Three-Body Problem on itch.io here for $5 or play a free mobile version from Wattpad!
Raik is a deeply Scottish fantasy melded with reality. You play as a young woman dealing with anxiety and stress trying to make it through her day, while a fantasy world unravels around her. This story has layers, and all of it is beautiful. The portrayal of anxiety is poignant and real, and the writing is gorgeous. I don’t want to say anything else to spoil it, but this game is fantastic. I recommend for anyone who likes to daydream. Please be warned of themes of anxiety, stress, and panic attacks as well as some fantasy violence. You can buy Raik here on itch.io for 3 GDP (or more! Please support the author!)
Space Frog! (I saw a lunar eclipse) is a story of a frog in space. He’s a frog and he’s in space! This is a cute, short interactive fiction with low stakes, no worries, just cute adventures of a frog in space. You can direct frog as he travels and learn more about him. It has adorable illustrations and clickable text that reveals extra flavor information. I recommend to anybody looking for a smile. You can play Space Frog here on itch.io and also download a zine of the game for $2 or more!
Floor is a text-interactive game about lying on the floor. You can lie on the floor, and you can get off the floor. What you do next is up to you! This is a short game with no real stakes, just real life boredom and activities. It may evoke feelings of loneliness or disappointment, but you can also just have some hummus. Floor can be played here on itch.io!
Apple Spice Pancakes is another short game about making pancakes with your sweetie! It’s entirely wholesome and adorable. The game text is all dialogue - the dialogue you read is from your partner, and your choices are your real-time responses to them. You can help them design your perfect breakfast while being disgustingly cute. Apple Spice Pancakes is available here on itch.io!
A Witch’s Word is a romantic text game where you have made a deal with a witch, offering her your firstborn. The only problem is you don’t have a child. Or a partner. The witch is here to help. Explore three potential relationships as your witch continues to introduce you to new sweethearts, trying to find someone who you are willing to love and who is willing to give up your child. And if you don’t want any of these people the witch offers you... maybe play the game anyway. See what can happen. A Witch’s Word is available here on itch.io!
Other:
Novena is an interactive poem! It’s a pixel art game that you navigate around, interacting with parts of the environment to read through the poem, which is about the ocean, and wishes, and expectations. And compassion. It has absolutely stunning visuals and music, and the poem makes me cry each time. Be warned of some really heavy feelings, but it will do its best to comfort you. The poem takes about five minutes to read and is here on itch.io waiting for you.
I hope a few of these games are of interest to you and that I’ve inspired you to support these great indie developers! If you wanna support me and see more articles and reviews on indie games, or encourage me as I learn to make my own, you can follow me here and on itch.io and support me with donations on ko-fi! Please reblog if you like this article, since tumblr will make it very hard to find with all these links. Have a great day and play some good games!
#indie games#interactive fiction#visual novels#game recs#itchio#itch.io#interactive text games#interactive games#interactive text#indie game dev#horror games#romance games#dating sims#gaming#video games
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✨ALL TIME FAVOURITES✨
Hi! So one New Years resolution for me this year (2021) was to go through my gigantic wolfstar bookmark collection and recommend some fics on my Tumblr. So here we are! Here is the list of my all time favourite wolfstar fics! (Obviously there are other fics that I love - but these are the fics that I always go back to, and will never forget. I live through these fics. I BREATHE these fics. I will come back with other recs in the future. Capiche?). Enjoy✨
Ps. You’ll notice that pretty much all of these are slowburn/pining fics, so if that’s not your cuppa, look somewhere else<3
All The Young Dudes, by MsKingbean89
You were expecting it, weren’t you? I don’t even know what to say except: read it. But be careful though, because it will break your heart💔. And, to all of you who’ve already read it, you can see the rest of these recommendations as fics that can help you heal your broken heart (not that anything can do that perfectly after ATYD, but we have to try, do we not?)
Everything’s Connected, by mizdiz
This fic pretty much made me believe in magic, no kidding. (It’s a Magic!AU, but not in the way you’re used to). It is just so incredible, and it’s beautifully written. A good old MWPP-era fic, while at the same time being so different. ✨✨✨READ IT!✨✨✨
Blends, by rvltn909
I’m gonna be honest: I have never really understood the deal with coffee shop AUs. Like whyyy are there so many? BUT! That does not mean that I don’t love a good fic when I find one - no matter if it involves coffee or not. And this one really is a good fic. It’s a splendid fic, as a matter of fact. It’s long. It’s a slowburn. There’s pining (so much pining!!). And it’s a lil’ sexy too. Basically, it’s an amazing fic and you have to read it!
The Barista, the Burglar, and the Sofa, by SeasOfTrees
Ok so I might have to take back the thing I said about coffee shop AUs, because this is one as well, and I love this fic to death. This is what I read when I’m sad and need comfort. Cause the thing is, this fic is sooooo much more than just a coffee shop fic. Like, it’s crazy! There’s the awkward Remus we all know and love, and the hot and slightly crazy Sirius. On top of that, this is also the story of how Remus falls in love with someone who’s breaking into his flat. Which is like ??? So amazing. GIVE THIS ONE A GO! And also: this one can be found as a Podfic on SoundCloud!
Forever is Definitely Punk Rock, by orphan_account
Urghhhgg this fic is just so perfect. So damn perfect I think I have to reread it RIGHT NOW. This is a pretty short (9k) muggle AU fic, and it holds a special place in my heart. This is actually not as much of a slowburn/pining-fic as I usually fall for - but it is beautiful none the less. It does contain a bit of a dark theme (chronic illness), and it will hurt your heart. But it will be worth it, I promise.
Hard To Find, by accioromulus
So this is a pretty short fic (12k), so I might put it on a future list for shorter fics. But I had to include it here as well cause it’s just so amazing. Like, this is pretty short, but at the same it’s a beautiful slowburn. And it’s just so soft!! So pretty. My pretty little boys. Like, the ✨pining✨!! And all that sexual tension🔥🔥 - it’s killing me! I also am a sucker for all these kinds of road trip/ camping / vacation fics, so this is just perfect.
Ocean of Fiction Blue, by orphan_account
This. Is. Wonderful. LOTS of pining, and it just feels sooooo good. This one is also a muggle AU (I didn’t even realise like almost all my favourites are muggle AUs???), where Remus moves in with the rest of the marauders. And asdfghjkl - just give me more! This fic also contains themes of mental illness, and it is all done so beautifully. IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!
station to station, by aeridi0nis
A WONDERFUL Hogwarts era fic by the incredibly talented @aeridi0nis . Like many other fics on this list, it’s packed to the brim with pining. Lots of it! It also includes glorious amounts of obliviousness, misunderstandings, and jealousy. It’s delicious. ✨ This fic will make you feel like you’re 17 and in love with your best friend. BEAUTIFUL. (And also so funny?? The internal monologues in this fic are to die for!)
Go East [+Podfic], by xinasvoice
HOLY HELL this took me by surprise! Like, woooow this is a good fic: wolfstar, in the world of Howl’s moving castle - can it get better??? It’s such an adventure! I mean, this is obviously a wolfstar fic, but it is also so much more! Like, I came for wolfstar, but stayed for the adventurous story (and wolfstar…😘). It loosely follows the plot of HMC, but it will still take you by surprise. And it’s done so brilliantly - it’s such a clever mix of HMC and wolfstar … I’m quite literally blown away. It’s beautifully written, the characterisation is wonderful. The Podfic is read by xinasvoice themselves, and it’s absolutely fantastic. Honestly, this was just an amazing experience. Go read it now! GO GO GO!
Text Talk, by merlywhirls
Ok so this is a bit different from my other favourites. Not only because of the format (texting), but because this mainly is here because it’s just so freakishly funny. I honestly laughed so much reading this! I mean, it’s also a very good fic in other ways too! I just think that what made this fic steal my heart was the comedy.
With all that being said, go enjoy! (If you haven’t read these fics already I am jealous of you - because then you still have the opportunity to read them for the first time).
Lots of love, Elliot 🌸🌸
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a drop in the ocean — sirius black
pairing: sirius black x female!reader
summary: sirius teaches reader that love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
warnings: cheating, swearing
a/n: this was inspired by the song “a drop in the ocean” by ron pope! this is a little different from what i'm used to since the overall theme is a lot more ??? mature ?? i guess ?? i kind of stepped out of my comfort zone with this but i hope you guys like it :')
It's bizarre how much pain can change you.
You become this entirely different person. You look the same on the surface, but somewhere deep inside you, you're someone else. You're stronger. Everything that has happened to you—all the tears you've shed, the people who have hurt you, the pain you've endured—all of them shapes you into something more. Something better.
And one day, you will wake up, look back at everything that you have endured, and you will smile. And it will feel like the puzzle pieces of the world have fallen back into place again—and maybe it's been that way for a long time. Maybe you've come so far in terms of healing and you're only just now starting to notice.
[Y/N] [Y/L/N] wakes up one summer morning, when the sun is warm and promise of a new day looms above her head. She swings her legs over her bed, pads over to the window in the corner of the room where sunshine filters through, draws the curtains open. Here she takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and just—
Remembers.
And this time, it doesn't hurt anymore.
—
Sirius Black was a charmer.
He wasn't just handsome; he was attractive. He knew exactly how to get people to swoon over him without laying it on too thick. He'd send a quick glance over anyone's way—one that made them feel as though they were the only person on earth he could see—and that person would fall.
They'd want him, fooling themselves into the belief that they were different. That they were special in a way that none of Sirius Black's previous flings were.
They'd end up with their hearts broken, of course. Shattered to bits and left at their feet for them to clean up on their own, because Sirius just couldn't bother.
It would happen within a month or two. Some much less.
But [Y/N] lasted the longest.
She was in Ravenclaw, and had caught Sirius's eye in her sixth year. She wishes she could say that she was different—that she hadn't fallen for him the moment he'd gone up to her in the Great Hall and steered her away from her friends, asking for her name—but she wasn't. She'd taken one look at Sirius's eyes, seen what seemed like genuine sincerity in them, and felt her sixteen-year-old heart doing odd little flips inside of her chest against her will.
Sirius Black liked her.
It took a month before he asked her out. Made it, as some would say, "official". A part of [Y/N] knew that it wouldn't last long, but she would enjoy this—enjoy him—while she still had him. She'd never felt this way for anyone before, and despite her brain telling her that Sirius Black was trouble, her heart said otherwise.
A month together turned into two. And three, and then four, five, and suddenly the rest of Hogwarts was wondering when Sirius planned to break things off with her.
[Y/N] wondered it, too. But Sirius still looked at her the same way he had done all those months ago when he'd asked for her name, like she was everything in the world he'd been hoping for—like she was different. Like he actually held real feelings for her and not just the kind you try out one second and then get bored of the next.
She wanted to believe that look in his eyes, but she'd heard the rumors. and on top of that there were her friends' warnings, telling her that Sirius was no good for her and that he would break her heart one way or the other.
One day, while they sat at the balcony of Ravenclaw tower during one of the many times she'd snuck Sirius into the common room, she glanced at him.
They were sitting on the floor facing each other, legs crossed underneath them. Sirius's hands were in her own; her fingers played with the rings decorating his, turning them over and over.
"I like this one," she murmured, her touch lingering on the silver one on his middle finger. It was elegant, contrasting beautifully with his pale skin, simple and with what looked like a crest emblazoned on the middle. She looked up at him and found him looking at her—gaze intense and yet somehow also gentle, like he was memorizing every last detail of her face and committing them to memory. Softly, she asked, "Does it mean anything?"
Sirius made a small sound of confirmation, eyes leaving hers to look down at the ring, watching as her fingers grazed over it. "Yeah," he said quietly, blinking, lashes dusting pale cheeks before he was looking up at her again. It took a while for the rest of his words to get out of his mouth; he looked as though he was in deep thought, watching her with something unreadable dancing just behind his eyes.
And then Sirius was clearing his throat, shifting on where he sat. When he spoke next, his voice was oddly soft. Sincere. (And again [Y/N] found herself wondering: are you pretending?)
Because it was during moments like these that made her think that what Sirius felt for her was real.
"It's from, uh," he cleared his throat again, and [Y/N] didn't fail to notice the sudden rigidness of his shoulders. His gaze was skittering away, looking instead at the scenery below them instead of at her. "It's from James's family. The Potters. I.. ran away from my family, see, about a year ago."
As [Y/N] listened to him speak, watched as his eyes grew hard and he swallowed with difficulty, she realized—this was something important to him. He wouldn't lie about this just to get closer to her; he was laying part of himself bare to her that very few people had ever seen.
"They took me in," Sirius said quietly, still not quite looking at her. "When I had nowhere else to go, they let me stay over at their place. And that same Christmas, they gave me this ring to.. welcome me to their family, I guess." Emotion tugged his lips upwards at the corners. "I'm grateful for them," he told her, nodding a little to himself, and then he was looking up at her, meeting her eyes.
He was relieved to see that there wasn't any sympathy in them. just—and Sirius found it suddenly very hard to breathe—love. Pure, unadulterated love.
"You deserve to be happy," she told him, tone just as soft as the gentle smile on her lips. She pressed her palm into his, fingers slipping into the spaces between his own and squeezing. He squeezed back, still staring at her, and wondered if his lungs had forgotten to stop breathing.
[Y/N] leaned in, lips feather-light in how they ghosted over his cheek, and then she was pulling away, and Sirius's heart was doing something weird inside his chest. "I'm happy you're in a better place now."
Sirius couldn't breathe.
He surged forward, capturing his lips in her own, and at that moment both of them knew this was different; it felt different, more than just a press of the lips, more than just a kiss. Sirius pried her lips apart with his own, taking his sweet, gentle time, and it shot sparks across his body like he'd never felt before. They kissed slow like melted honey, tender and thorough and just a little overwhelming, and Sirius was dizzy with it—he felt like he was drowning.
He was drowning, but he loved every second of it.
—
A few months turned into a year, then two, and before anyone knew it, they were graduating. And still, as they left the gates of Hogwarts to venture out into the world waiting for them, Sirius and [Y/N] were still together. It went against everyone's expectations—and truthfully, [Y/N]'s own—but it made her happy, being with him. and she could only hope that she made him just as happy as he did to her.
They moved into a flat of their own in the outskirts of London. It wasn't anything grand, but it was cozy and clean and it only took a few months for the building to become something of a home to both of them.
[Y/N] loved every moment she spent with Sirius. All their shared smiles, their little, subtle moments of intimacy, the fleeting kisses, waking up in the morning with him by her side—everything.
She loved him so much that it hurt.
Three years into their relationship, as she lay in bed with Sirius, their entire bedroom dark and quiet save for both of their rhythmic breathing, she told him.
"I love you," she whispered into the skin of his shoulder. His arm was draped lazily around her, and she was curled up at his side—and everything about it was painfully familiar. The way his chest rose and fell. The way he stroked at her hair. How he shifted down just the tiniest bit to press a kiss to the crown of her head.
She loved Sirius so much that she didn't even realize—or maybe didn't care—that he never said it back.
—
Maybe it was something that was just ingrained into him. There could have been a million other reasons that all pointed to it not being her fault, but still, for the longest time, she believed that it was.
Sirius was seeing someone else, and he wasn't doing a very good job at hiding it.
One of her friends had told her that they'd seen Sirius in Diagon Alley with another woman at his side. [Y/N] had been angry, but not at Sirius—no, she'd lashed out at her friend, calling her a liar, saying that Sirius would never do something like that.
It's bizarre, the things you do for love. how much you hurt yourself in the process.
Only a week later, she found a letter tucked into the pocket of one of Sirius's coats. It was addressed to a name she did not recognize, and written underneath it were sweet, sweet words that [Y/N] could remember Sirius telling her once or twice before.
you make it hard for me to breathe
everything about you drives me absolutely mad
meet me tomorrow night at the leaky cauldron and
[Y/N] stopped reading. Her hands were shaking too badly; the letter fell from her hands and onto the floor. There was bile rising in the back of her throat.
Her knees went weak underneath her. She leaned on the bed for support—the same bed they'd laid in just this morning, the same bed he'd murmured the very same things written in that blasted letter—
"Oh, God." She let out a ragged, broken sound, hands clutching at her own chest as though it would help ease the pain. She couldn't breathe. "Fuck. Fuck."
[Y/N] didn't know why, but when Sirius came back home that night, claiming that he'd gone over to James and Lily to say hi, she didn't bring up the letter right away.
"How's Lily?" she asked, not looking up from where she sat on the couch, instead pretending that she was invested in a copy of the Witch Weekly magazine in her hands.
"She's doing fabulous," grinned Sirius, shrugging off his coat as he made his way over to her. "Her belly bump's getting a lot more noticeable. James is seconds away from absolutely losing it. He's always frantic—I swear he thinks the baby's going to pop out out of bloody nowhere."
[Y/N]'s senses weren't working properly. She hummed something inaudible in response. A single, painful thought was wafting around her head—a question that she now knew the answer to perfectly well.
Sirius strode over to her, draping his coat over the arm of the couch before moving around the coffee table to sit next to her. He was smiling. "But how was your day, love?" he said, and then he was leaning over, reaching out with one hand to tilt the side of her head towards him—
You're pretending. Always pretending. As soon as he made contact with her skin, she was flinching away, and Sirius knew that something was wrong.
"Is everything alright, doll?" he asked, brows furrowing into a frown of concern. His hand hovered somewhere next to her face, still, fingertips just barely ghosting her cheek.
Before Sirius knew it, [Y/N] was standing up and flinging the daily prophet onto the coffee table. There was something swimming in her eyes that he couldn't quite pinpoint, but he felt something stirring in his gut—something like realization.
Something like guilt.
He reached out and grabbed her wrist, holding her in place. "Doll," he said softly, and to him, it sounded like damnation.
And then [Y/N] said something that made his intestines feel like they were twisting into knots—"I know," [Y/N] said, without looking at Sirius. "I know everything."
Sirius blinked.
His grip on her wrist faltered, hand falling into his lap. There was a moment of thick, heavy silence. The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped by several degrees; Sirius felt cold sweat trickle down the side of temple. The space around him suddenly didn't seem to have enough oxygen.
And yet he let out a choked laugh, if only to quell the storm within his heart. "I don't," he began. His voice was unstable. "I'm not sure what you mean."
She was making her way to the door, but her movements were hesitant, like she didn't quite want to go—or rather, she was unsure where to go. She paused halfway to it, hands curling into fists at her sides.
"Just stop," she said. Resignation etched her voice. She leaned a hand on the wall, back still turned to him as she muttered to herself, sounding as though she'd lived entire countless lifetimes and had had enough, "Stop with the lies, Sirius. I'm done."
Sirius's limbs were getting up of their own accord, approaching her where she stood. But even he knew that he wasn't allowed to have her anymore, not at this moment—not at any moment, not ever—so he halted a few feet away from her, hand reaching out as though he wanted to touch her, gather into his arms and pretend like none of this had ever happened.
That he hadn't done anything wrong. But he did, and now he was paying for it.
When she spoke again, her voice was thick with emotion and there was undeniable pain in her eyes; “I'm only going to say this once,” she said, the lump in her throat audible. She turned around, meeting his gaze, anyone could tell that she was trying to sound strong—trying to sound like all of this didn't hurt her as much as it really did—but all of her walls were crumbling down on her, and it didn't sound like she'd be able to pick herself back up.
She swallowed with difficulty, blinking rapidly as though to fend off tears. “This is the last time you will ever lie to me again."
She looked up at him. Sirius's breath hitched in his throat. “I’m done,” she spat. “I’m done pretending like I’m okay with all of your crap. I’m fucking done.”
Sirius opened his mouth. There were a hundred explanations resting on the tip of his tongue, but all of them sounded like excuses, and he knew that was the last thing she wanted to hear.
And Sirius was the last person she wants to see.
He watched, with gut-wrenching guilt swimming in the pit of his stomach, as she wiped aggressively at her tears with the back of her hand and sent him a look of the utmost loathing—but Sirius saw right through it. He saw her pain.
Pain he had caused. Pain he knows he still caused.
“I hope you’re fucking happy,” she choked out, meaning to sound angry, but all Sirius heard was pain.
As she slammed the door shut on her way out, Sirius wondered to himself, as his knees buckled and he leaned on the couch for support, if [Y/N] would ever be the same again.
He'd made a mistake; a terrible one. And there was no going back from it now.
—
She did.
That is—she healed. It took her time, of course. Quite a lot of it.
Years passed by in a hazy blur. There were people who grew close to her, people who promised her the same things that she believed in so long ago. That she would be loved by them unconditionally if she just let her walls down and gave herself a chance to try and trust someone again.
It was difficult. She'd loved Sirius as though he were everything in the world that mattered—she had offered him all of her despite knowing that every moment he spent with her was a lie. every kiss, every promise; lies. All of them.
And yet she'd loved him, and when you love someone, you don't care about anything else but them. You don't listen when all of your friends tell you that he isn't good for you, and you don't care when he climbs out of bed in the morning, not quite meeting your gaze when he tells you he's going to visit a friend.
If you love someone, you don't care about all of that.
Or at least you tell yourself that, until you realize that you do. You do care.
[Y/N] realized it far later.
It was that that gave her the strength to walk away from him, despite her heart telling him that it's okay—why should it matter if he doesn't love you back? As long as you love him, it's okay.
It wasn't.
God, it really, really wasn't.
So [Y/N] lived on, not because she wanted to, but because she had to. And it's funny, how pain changes you. At first you think you're never going to be the same again—that you will be heartbroken forever, wallowing in your own self-pity—but the more time passes, the stronger you get. You don't feel it right away.
But one day, many, many years later, when her heart has healed, and she wakes up and realizes that she is loved by people around her and by herself, the way Sirius Black had never done—she realizes:
She is strong. So much stronger than the person she was before.
For the first time in a very long time, when his name wafts back into her head again, she doesn't feel pain.
Instead, the corners of her lips tug up into a small smile.
Here, in front of the window, with the warm sunlight painted across her face, her lashes flutter open.
I'm done pretending.
And now, there is no more pain in her eyes.
There hasn't been for a long time now.
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Mayans Season 3
Soooooooooooooooo I have a lot of thoughts. Like, a lot. No one asked for this but some of you did express enthusiasm when I told you I was gonna go AWF, so here we go.
DISCLAIMER: I should perhaps also mention that this is simply a critique of the finished product — I understand, of course, there were other issues that affected the production of the season that perhaps didn’t affect seasons one and two, such as Covid and some of the confusion after the departure of Sutter. Some might say, however, that this season without Sutter was easier because there was less tension on set (I’m just re-counting what some of the cast have intimated). Ultimately, though, I really just want this to be a critique of the finished product, in the way that I assume all creators and artists want their work to be judged… Standing alone versus as a potential outcome of problems or challenges.
It’s probably clear by now that I wasn’t a huge fan of this season, so first I’ll start off with what I did like:
*SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY*
• The cinematography was really nice. We got a lot of great wide shots that made us feel how expansive these worlds are, how lonely the desert, how wide the ocean, etc. They showed us the freedom that comes with this life but also how small it can make you feel when you get swallowed up in it. Scenes were also a lot less dark-lit, which was great cuz I didn’t have to mess with my screen’s contrast as much, so that was appreciated.
• There was also some beautiful color work this year. A lot of oranges and purples that I appreciated. EZ was almost always beautifully framed. We got some nice close ups of Angel as well. The scene with the tear running down his cheek was beautiful, which leads me to:
• THE ACTING: Danny Pino was far and away the best for me. His microexpressions, his ability to change emotions on a dime, his capacity for showing us the exact thoughts going through Miguel’s head, as well as his continued excellence at portraying Miguel’s duality and his divided loyalties (his family of origin vs. his current family, his American vs. Mexican heritage, his classy Cornell acapella-singing [!] self vs. his ruthless cartel persona) never ceases to impress me. Carla is amazing as well, she gave me chills in pretty much every scene. Sometimes I remember that she’s my age (30) and I’m just like holy shit, where did all this poise and presence and focus come from?? Couldnt be me! Honorable mentions include Clayton Cardenas (aforementioned crying scene, “WHERE THE FUCK IS RAMOS?!”), Michael Irby/Alexandra Barreto (diner scene), Felipe (telling Gaby to go scene...most scenes with Gaby), Emily Tosta, and Holland Roden. Richard Cabral did great too, although his storyline bored me so much that I couldn’t really pay attention to his excellent performance. Hope also was a distraction for me, but (much) more on this later. JD was pretty strong throughout, although some of his scenes (especially the ones with Gaby) were so poorly written that I imagine it was hard to make them anything but wooden (more on this later too, unfortunately). Sulem was hit or miss for me, but I felt like she hit her stride later in the season, and by the end, I fully bought it. MOMO RODRIGUEZ made me feel everything. There was a nuance and a depth to his performance that I was not expecting. It was a beautiful surprise to have a comic character (and a comedian) bring such an important role to the show. I loved that they made him symbolic of the heavy toll this life can take (I regret his death, but I think it was a wake up call) and how you can’t always escape your pain. And the fact that EZ was the one to try and tell him otherwise, emphasizing his own internal struggle, was especially poignant and heartbreaking, which now leads me to:
• THEMES: I liked a lot that we got to explore some of these character’s inner worlds more this season, and that we finally got to see the emotional consequences for what these characters have done and who they are. I never watched SOA, but from what y’all have said on here, it seems like more of those characters acted with impunity and were largely unphased by their own demons. It’s really nice to see the Mayans own up to what they’ve done and the lives they’ve chosen, from EZ, who wonders about the darkness inside of him and if he always was this way (see: theme of fate, later in this paragraph) to Alvarez, regretting what he’s done and who he has been (killing his own son) and wanting to live a new life, but not sure he deserves it. Angel’s monologue about “no happy endings in this town” was especially revelatory as well. It was also nice to see POCs, notably POC men, allowed to explore their emotions, cry, and lift back the curtain on what this kind of life does to your fucking soul. It humanizes the characters and liberates them from the Latinos = gangsters trope that we’re all so used to seeing, the very racist trope that ludicrously & infuriatingly suggests that POC men, especially Latinos, are almost meant to be gangsters and have no qualms about it whatsoever, that they are good at it because they are unburdened by the strict moral code that governs white people (LOL @1/6/2021). The theme of FATE was also drawn upon heavily, and I really liked that. It harkened back to S1 [Church of] Coco and the conversation he had with EZ on Celia’s floor, talking about how “everything that happens is what was meant to happen.” He insists that even though EZ thought he was supposed to be the “Golden Boy,” he ended up in the MC for a reason, maybe that other life was never an option for him at all. We now know that part of the reason his parents encouraged his Golden Boy persona so much was as a way to KEEP him from indulging his darker side. I liked the development of this theme a lot, but it did, unfortunately, also cause some problems, which leads me to:
PROBLEMS WITH MAYANS MC SEASON 3:
Characterization: I think this season suffered from what TV can often suffer from when a new person takes the helm, which is a lack of continuity from previous seasons… I understand, of course, that the characters were going through a lot this season, but I don’t think that warrants a total change in their personalities. The biggest offenders here, for me, were Angel and Coco. While we certainly had an idea that Angel, before he was with Adelita, was something of a hoe, I didn’t get the vibe that he was quite as insouciant or uncaring with his partners as he definitely seemed to be in Season 3. I understand why the show wanted to portray him that way—he was hurting—but it just seemed out of character to me that he would jump from partner to partner, so easily make intense commitments, and somehow be obsessed with creating a family life when that never really seemed to be his focus before… His focus on the baby in Season 2 seemed to be confined to Adelita. Coco, on the other hand, seemed to be very interested in his romantic relationship with Hope this season which really baffled me. Coco in previous seasons was almost the spiritual or kind of mystic element of the show – – his “Church of Coco” musings were, as I previously said, sort of a vehicle to highlight the element of fate as a theme in the show. For me, this made perfect sense as a place for him to be, partially because Richy himself is sort of woo woo (I mean this as the highest of compliments). To see him thrust into a somewhat arbitrary (for me) romantic relationship felt so forced, not only because their sex scene was incredibly dry and uncomfortable to watch (LOL), but also because it just didn’t make sense that Coco would risk everything for this woman he knew nothing about… And even at the expense of his relationship with Letty. As @drabbles-mc mentioned, why spend all this time developing Coco’s relationship with Letty when you’re just gonna destroy it? It feels disrespectful to the writing that has gone before… Speaking of, I want to address the EZ equals psychopath road that we now seem to be going down. As I mentioned earlier, I’m glad that they addressed that his scholarliness and the encouragement of that by his parents was a tactic to distract him from the “darkness” inside of him, however, it feels strange that all of a sudden they are intimating that he has a very very deep darkness inside of him that we didn’t really see in previous seasons. I suppose you could make the argument that it was there before, however I would’ve liked it to be revealed a little bit slower and perhaps have more references to it in previous seasons if you’re going to make this case now. It just feels a little incongruous to what we know about EZ that he is a psycho on the inside… Because that’s what they seem to be suggesting — that he’s dark and can’t be anything but dark. I guess I just would’ve liked to see a more gradual reveal of that versus him saying that he’s always been dark and he knows because of a Goya painting? Seems weird. Like, how is he Dexter all of a sudden? Finally, the Nestor/Álvarez situation at the end: are you telling me that Alvarez really would give a fuck about the Mayans after Bishop betrayed him, especially at the expense of his own life if Miguel figured out that he didn’t do what was asked of him? And how is Nestor, who has always been undyingly faithful to Miguel, all of a sudden going to flake out on his duties, especially when he knows how important this is to Miguel???
Writing/storylines: So, to the extent that this is a separate issue than just simple characterization, I would say that this was the biggest problem for me this season. Lazy writing was a real issue for me and that it took me out of the plot and the moment many times. As I mentioned before, there were some scenes with Gaby and EZ that just felt so stilted that I really couldn’t take them seriously – – the scene in the church comes to mind. In addition to this, there were some plotlines that just felt tired or unnecessary, or didn’t link up. The Angel/Hank/Nails storyline, for example, just seems so boring… We just did a unexpected pregnancy storyline last season with Angel – – why did we need one again? Have they just run out of ideas for him? And to put Nails into the position of baby mama just feels kind of disrespectful to her character. Does every woman in this show need to have her uterus or sex life be a plot line? Bishop is another character that I feel like was done a little bit dirty the season. While I previously mentioned that I adored the scene with him in the diner, I was confused by the purpose of his dead son storyline. As emotional as it was and as great as the performances that it produced were, it didn’t really tie into anything else in the season. I understand that they were trying to give some background to Bishop’s character, but it just seemed like kind of a one-off considering it lasted for a few episodes and then was never brought up again. Perhaps they were trying to show us that everyone lost family or had to compromise something to be part of the MC, but if that was the case, then I would’ve liked to see it be tied to his decisions or his story later on. Maybe they could’ve done something like show that his dedication to the club was because they are the only family he has now that he lost his son? Or that he is wildin’ out now and tryna be the one king because he has nothing left to lose? Idk, maybe that was implied but I certainly didnt catch it — it would’ve been nice to have a more explicit connection there, because to me it just kinda felt like they showed us his pain and then forgot about it and just made him this crazed bloodthirsty madman. I also want to talk a little bit about undelivered upon promises – – Elgin said in a review before the season came out that we would get to see a little bit more into the backstory of each character and why they joined the MC – as I mentioned before, we got a little more about different characters lives but we didn’t necessarily see the why, which is something I really would’ve liked to know. I also was hoping for more social commentary than in fact happened this season – – the new intro seemed to suggest that we would get more of an emphasis on Latinx history or culture or social clashes, but in fact, such references were few and far between, as far as I could tell (although totally possible I missed some stuff). One scene, or rather, one line, that I really really enjoyed was when Gaby said “I risked my life to come here and I try to survive every day and you choose to flirt with death. That’s the privilege of being an American.” I found this line SO powerful, but it was almost a throw-away, and I really wish it had been touched upon more. I was looking forward to learning more about this and having it portrayed in such a Latinx-centered way would’ve been cool to see.
Ok, this is likely to be the most unpopular section of this post (for those of you who are even still around LOL), but I’m including a list of all the plotholes, inconsistencies, or unexplained events from this season, of which there were many. If anyone has an answer to these, please let me know:
Taza and Riz: I’m supposed to believe that he killed Riz just because he wanted to start a war with Palo? Because palo killed his lover over 20 years ago?? Like, could he not have started a war with Palo without involving Riz? And when he said “I didn’t know how many people would get hurt?” What??? How could you possibly have thought that a. Murdering your brother and b. Starting a war with the VM over a personal issue wouldn’t result in carnage?
Dead SOA ppl: why did Chibs never come calling to find out who killed Thomas (?) last season? Or Montez? I know that Montez wasn’t actually killed by the Mayans but he was placed in the Mayans parking lot or whatever so wouldn’t that raise some suspicions??? All that they said about Thomas was that he disappeared and the Sons didn’t know what happened? @starrynite7114
What was the point of the whole Lobos Sonora thing? Why did Palo need to talk to them to get involved with the Tucson mayans? Could he not have just gone to Canche himself? Was this something that they were doing to set up next season? If so, it seems like a long walk to get there…
Speaking of Canche, how the fuck did that cockroach survive a bomb?
Who tipped off border patrol on the night that they tried to move the drugs from the tunnel? Was it the girl in jail? And how come we never heard from her again? Just one of many plotlines that was started and then never revisited.
The Miguel/Felipe thing: We got so close but never actually got there. Are we gonna have to wait a whole other season for this?
Speaking of paternity, who is actually the father of Adelitas baby? I’m kind of OK with not knowing if the baby is alive or dead but I’m ready to know who the father was… Again, I don’t wanna wait another season to wrap this up.
Additionally, did Adelita actually hurt Potter’s family? Did she kill them? It was very unclear.
They essentially said that Potter shut down the border out of spite after the Adelita thing happened… What the fuck does that mean? Are you trying to tell me that a government official can just randomly shut down the border whenever he wants? And what was it about the Adelita thing that pissed him off? That he captured her? That EZ and Angel got one over on him? I really don’t understand… Angel said in the first episode that “the shutdown affected me more than anyone,” ostensibly because he lost his partner and child, but I just don’t see how Adelita and the shut down were related??
CHUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!! GTFOH with that weak-ass excuse.
Coco storyline:
Was he never gonna find out that Hope was the one who took the picture of him and set him up?
What about the fact that Letty essentially conned him into killing his mom?
Also, did Isaac really die? And what about the reaper tattoo on his side? Was he part of SOA? Was that ever going to be addressed? The story just wasn’t wrapped up at all and I cannot HANDLE any more Meth Mountain next season.
I guess my point in all of this is that I don’t have a problem with the cliffhangers per say – – but there’s a difference between “oh this is an exciting unknown that we can speculate about until next season” and “this is just messy writing where many story threads were begun this year and then never finished” or “we were supposed to wrap up storylines from two seasons ago and we just didn’t.” The latter two just feel sloppy to me, and I feel like that’s a lot of what went on this season. The whole show this year felt both slow and overstuffed, both uneventful and packed at the end. Perhaps it was a pacing issue, a problem of Elgin wanting to distinguish himself and pack so much in and make it so different from previous seasons that he bit off more than he could chew and it all became unfocused. As I read somewhere else, the problem when you have this many unfinished storylines is that they weigh you down for the next season – the writers now have to either spend the majority of next season addressing these questions or just forget about them and pretend they never happened, which feels disrespectful to the audience. I guess my hope is just that Elgin will find his footing and be able to deliver us a more cohesive, well-paced season next year. I fully believe he is capable of this, and if he continues to deliver on the things that did work about this season, we should be in good shape.
Tagging some ppl who have expressed interest in my thoughts: @yourwonkywriter @angelreyesgirl @megapeacelovemusic-blog @starrynite7114 @joannasteez @brattyfics @mareethequeen
#mayans mc season 3#Mayans mc#mayans mc spoilers#Mayans mc season 3 spoilers#jd pardo#Clayton Cardenas#Danny pino#carla baratta#angel reyes#ez reyes#miguel galindo#Felipe reyes#edward james olmos#coco cruz#richard cabral#bishop losa#michael irby#chucky marstein#I love you chucky
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ok this took way longer than i expected because i got sidetracked looking at paintings and reading poetry and just admiring the mv, but it's finally finished!! let's talk about
higher
✨
i'm going to draw your attention to a few things.
firstly, these verses from rime of the ancient mariner by samuel taylor coleridge, published 1834:
The harbour-bay was clear as glass,
So smoothly it was strewn!
And on the bay the moonlight lay,
And the shadow of the Moon.
The rock shone bright, the kirk no less,
That stands above the rock:
The moonlight steeped in silentness
The steady weathercock.
And the bay was white with silent light,
Till rising from the same,
Full many shapes, that shadows were,
In crimson colours came.
A little distance from the prow
Those crimson shadows were:
I turned my eyes upon the deck—
Oh, Christ! what saw I there!
Each corse lay flat, lifeless and flat,
And, by the holy rood!
A man all light, a seraph-man,
On every corse there stood.
This seraph-band, each waved his hand:
It was a heavenly sight!
They stood as signals to the land,
Each one a lovely light;
This seraph-band, each waved his hand,
No voice did they impart—
No voice; but oh! the silence sank
Like music on my heart.
secondly, this ivan aivazovsky painting, chaos (the creation), c. 1841:
and thirdly, the memorial of percy shelley, who drowned in a boating accident at age 29, in 1822:
there's a common conflation between the romantic and the pastoral in the general cultural consensus because the pastoral a) has been around as an art term longer than romantic, and b) romanticism does use some similar imagery. but there is a key difference: the pastoral is specfically an idealization of 'the simple shepherding life,' often for high class and urban audiences who have no conception of the details of this life includes. one of the more famous examples is christopher marlowe's a passionate shepherd to his love, published in 1599:
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the Rocks,
Seeing the Shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow Rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing Madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of Roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of Myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty Lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;
A belt of straw and Ivy buds,
With Coral clasps and Amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me, and be my love.
The Shepherds’ Swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May-morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me, and be my love.
whereas romanticism is a more pointedly specific movement that was active from around 1800 to 1850, primarily focused on intense emotion and catharsis as the primary experiential output of an artwork. which most prominently manifested in a deep fascination and glorification of the natural environment and historical nostalgia. the movement sprung from the german sturm und drang (literally storm and drive/stress) period of the late 1760s to early 1780s, which was a direct reaction to rationalism and enlightenment. romanticism had similar impulses; it was also a revival of medievalism and a reaction against the looming urban sprawl and mechanization of the industrial revolution. a typical romantic poem from one of the originators of the english movment william wordsworth, composed upon westminster bridge, september 3, 1802, originally published 1807:
Earth has not any thing to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth, like a garment, wear
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky;
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!
this romantic fascination with nature was underpinned by the philosophy of the sublime, generally agreed to be first treatised by edmund burke in 1756, the theory was also written about by kant and hegel. in the simplest of terms, the sublime is a quality of greatness beyond calculation, imitation, and human comprehension. the sublime is twofold; the greatness of the ocean is beautiful, but its power is also terrifying, and the experience of the sublime is to feel those two at once. to be in awe and also to be horrified of its ability to sink ships and drown a life in a tempermental change of tide.
let's take a quick detour to talk about
clothing
in the present day we have become much more lax thanks to the aesthetic movement in the late nineteenth century, but back in the early victorian period there are still highly structured rules about when and what clothing one can wear in public. and the clothing itself is also highly structured. anyone with a passing understanding of the victorian era knows about the whole flashing of the ankle thing and corsets galore, and it is true that the general day to day garments cover a lot of area. for men in particular, this manifests in no less than three layers in public at all times: shirt, waistcoat, and suit jacket, with a coat or mantle overtop in colder temperatures. this also includes a variation of a neck tie (depending on what year), hat, gloves, and any other decided upon accessories (this can also include a corset and other padded structural underpinnings).
an important tangent to mention here is that this is the uniform of the upper classes, although the rules do apply to the lower classes if they wanted to appear 'sophisticated.' the working man's uniform was also shirt, waistcoat, trousers, but the difference here is in the textiles themselves; the colours tended to be much more drab, with less complicated patterns. obviously due to the price fabric itself, but also due to the labour of laundry. an indicator of class here is the white shirt itself and its pristine implications. (there is a longer conversation here about the invention of neckties and detachable collars and cuffs, but that's for another day).
the silhouettes are very important to note here in the higher mv, as they are directly referential to the 'romantic poet' archetype of loose shirt and tight pants that we see in popular culture. but as i've just said, the reality is that men of the era were not dressed like this out in public. this look is essentially underwear; the implications are salacious. so where did this come from? well, we can blame it mostly on lord byron, who by all accounts was the first western 'rockstar.' notoriously called 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' by lady caroline lamb (a married women he publically had an affair with), byron was openly bisexual and deeply hedonistic with a lot of questionable habits, but his poetry was so popular that he was known to have women following him in the street and gathering in large quanities to see him at salons. and this was close to three decades before lizstomania. his close friends and contemporaries included percy and mary shelley, with whom he lived with abroad in italy for some time (this living arrangement resulted in the writing of both frankenstein and john polidori's the vampyre). byron's reputation was so eclipsing that the image of the lush poet lazing in his undergarments has become its own genre of romantic, slightly removed from the movement byron was writing in. it's also worth it to point out that there are no official portraits of byron dressed like this from the time. the visual assumption is somewhat apochryphal.
now let's get into some specifics. a.c.e is not unfamiliar to this silhouette; as previously mentioned in this post i wrote about their styling, the boxy loose upper and fitted lower is their general mode for their styling because of its emphasis on legs. cactus was the most extreme example of this, and to prove my point, this specific silhouette is extremely common in classical ballet:
1. vaslav nijinsky, giselle, 1911
2. nehemiah kish, george balanchine's ballo della regina, 2011/12
higher fits very neatly into this same category: we have an emphasis on the legs through tightly fitted garments and also through light reflective textile, as well as a secondary emphasis on arm and shoulder movements with looser fit shirts. plus, the shirts are made from fabrics that have good drape and flow, and mimic the visual effects of water:
there are also several instances of scale patterning and wetlook hair styles, further elabourating on the siren theme. and the jewelry is the same, purposefully cut clear stones for oceanic sparkle or pearls, the gem directly born from water, as highlighting accents to specific parts of the body - namely eyes, hands, and torso:
the body jewelry also serves a double purpose in addition to being sparkly; it gives a semblance of shape to their torsos so their movements aren't totally lost in the shroud of their shirts, and it also invokes some of that salacious element that us as a modern audience doesn't necessarily perceive in the same way when we see a man wearing only a shirt. all of these points are especially prominent in the stage costuming. concerning the veils, these are an aesthetic choice following the theme of depicting water without actually using water. the song has a very breathless quality to it, and the lyrics directly make reference to water and breathlessness, so it only makes sense to have a physical manifestation of struggling to breathe.
now let's talk about
mise-en-scène
unlike most kpop mvs, I would argue that higher is not a spectacle in what we normally see spectacle to be. the overwhelming visual saturation of goblin (and the goblin remix) is more in line with what we expect, but how do you follow that, top it? the answer is that you don't. you aim for something with a completely different feel, which is exact what they did with higher.
the performing arts did not escape romanticism. the very start of the movement, sturm und drang, is actually named from a specific play written by friedrich maximilian klinger that premiered in 1777. the plays of the brief period are characterized by extreme and passionate emotions, and were siblings to one of the most famous genres of theatre, the melodrama. meant to appeal directly to the emotions of the audience using sensationalist plots and stock characters, the melodrama was the predominent form of entertainment in victorian england and gradually developed a specific form of its own. in this period we also start to see the development of 'stagecraft' into the recognizable form that it takes today. footlights, limelight/spotlighting, the separation of house and stage lighting, fly galleries, elevator platform mechanics, and the first (purported) western use of rear projection are all innovations of the late 18th and 19th centuries, as melodramas were known to have very intricate and spectacular stagings. and to go along with these stagecraft mechanics we see the rise in designated stage crews, which were predominantly off-duty sailors looking to make money. the rope systems that made up the fly galleries were very similar to that on ships, and much of the terminology and supersitions crossed over: this is the origin of the term 'rigging' being used for suspending set elements, and also the origin of the 'don't whistle in a theatre' superstition. as sailors communicated with whistle patterns on ships, the same system was adopted for changing scenery, and therefore whistling a random pattern could potentially drop a setpiece on an unsuspecting victim.
so with all this backstory out of the way, what is the very first full location we see? a stage, complete with forced perspective via the painted fabric legs (the side panels) and borders (the wavy upper panels). we even have a flat painted backdrop with a projection screen and hanging overhead lamps. there's also a second interior set, a desk in what looks to be a study of some kind. bit self explanatory on this one, taking the poet notion on the nose.
the locations have a bit of an obtuse arc, but it's there when you look for it. it starts interior spaces, where the ideas of sublime attempted to be recreated for the viewer. then it moves to transitory spaces; portions of nature isolated from a whole environment, interjections of human architecture into natural spaces:
(the white hut structure in the greenhouse is reminiscent of a skene (literally hut/tent), which is the structure at the back of the stage in ancient greek theatre used for the actors to change their masks and costumes. it was originally temporary, but slowly transformed into permanent stage architecture)
and then finally outdoors, into the sublime itself:
jwm turner, crossing the bridge, 1815
lastly,
lighting
there's a very clear lighting pattern here, primarily in light and dark. the base colour story is fairly simple complementary pairs; there's a lot of purple/red and green, and blue and yellow/amber, with everything relatively on the same tonal level. there are deliberate interjections of heavily saturated red for specific effect. there are also, most notably, a 'dark' version of all the sets. obviously as a reference to the eclipse that we see in the mv and in the concept photo series, but also as a reference to that darker undercurrent of the sublime, the upsetting, the uncanny, and the terrifying:
And the bay was white with silent light/Till rising from the same/Full many shapes, that shadows were/In crimson colours came.
#a.c.e#ace w#kpop analysis#group analysis#me - a staunch defender of kpop as valid spectacle: actually this one is a melodrama its meant to hit different#this essay is otherwise known as the quickest and dirtiest history of romanticism ever#i really should have pointed out that when i say romantic i mean romantic with a capital r#that probably would clear up some confusion but i have an aesthetic to maintain do not @ me#this is potentially the most pretentious thing i have ever written i am so sorry if this makes no sense#some of these connections are so tenuous who let me have opinions on the internet#did i write this as an excuse to look at the percy shelley memorial because i am obsessed with it as a piece of art? maybe#anyways read tom stoppard's arcadia if you want to know more about that#you should read all this with the caveat that the sublime and romanticism need to be deconstructed through a postcolonialist lens#because these theories are super colonialist about 'unclaimed untameable natural spaces'#when in reality most natural spaces are specifically architected by indigenous peoples in order to preserve and coexist with the ecosystem#this is may be more obviously applicable to american subliminal painting than european but it still applies#since the british were notoriously good at fucking up every kind of expedition ever#because of their lack of respect for literally anything and everything#and their inability to listen to anyone other than another white british person#see: history of the northwest passage#im a bad theorist and not caught up so i didnt get that deep into it because counter to the wordcount#i am not trying to write another dissertation#this is not as well researched as it could be but also im not reading burke and kant again#also yes byron the shelleys and polidori did just bang out the foundations for all of science fiction and romantic vampire mythology#in like three days because the all got bored during a storm and want to try and 'outscare' each other#also by 1840 like every prominent romantic poet was dead either from their own stupidity or tuberculosis#with the exception of wordsworth that motherfucker started the movement and then outlived it#text
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Starting a new ✨series✨ that no one asked for! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
Callisto-Rants presents...
Here's my Two Cents
Where we just throw down our two cents on how we would change a series to make it better, in our own personal opinion.
[You can Block this tag if you're not interested in this series: #Here's Our Two Cents]
Here's my Two Cents
Yarichin Bitch Club.
Ever since I had the misfortune of having that opening theme song stuck in my head because of countless memes and tiktok edits. . . I have wished for days to have the ability to create a time machine to prevent myself from saying. . .
"okay, fine I'll bite the bullet and check out the source material."
Now if you're reading this and thinking, "huh. I never heard of this series..." let me just tell you, GOD I WISH I WAS YOU RIGHT NOW.
No one was going to tell me this BL Manga about a "pHoTogRaPhY cLuB" wasn't completely INSANE? I was just supposed to find out Three Volumes Later??
Now some of y'all who have read the source material might be thinking. . .
"Okay Callisto, get over it it's obviously supposed to be a comedy it's not meant to be taken seriously 🙄"
And to that I say... I mean I guess??? But do we really need all of THAT to make it a comedy?? I feel like you could still have an entertaining comedy BL Manga without 90% of the shit that goes on in that series..... But that's just ✨my two cents✨ take it or leave it.
FIRST THINGS FIRST, here's all the stuff I'd automatically remove from this series off the bat.
💀 The Gang Bangs.
💀 Teacher x Student Relationships.
💀 In fact all instances of unconsensual acts & sexual assault committed in this manga. Throw all of that away.
💀 the fact that the term Bisexual was used as a replacement for the term switch, and had nothing to do with the sexual orientation itself whatsoever.
💀 The High School Setting.
💀 Whatever the fuck Yuri was on.
💀 90% of the hyper sexualized traits these characters had.
Now here's what I'd change to make it better... Basically here's an AU of what if it was actually a normal photography club....
Actually make it a fucking Photography Club. Not a sex club that's in a fuckin HIGH SCHOOL. Hell, you could just throw this in a college setting too, for more mature themes.
Main character, Takashi Toono a college student that's trying to get out of his comfort zone more. So he decides to join the photography club, because he thinks it's not demanding to require anything of him compared to any other club on campus. He knows completely NOTHING about photography, and doesn't have any passion for the art media. His Character growth would be learning to appreciate the art media While learning what it means to him, as well as who he wants to be as he enters the adult world as a young adult.
Yuu Kashima, can stay as Takashi's love interest. Also, I feel like all the members should have a specific style of taking photos that correlates with their personality in some way. Yuu's photography style would be something the lines of Candid photography which is a type of photography style that's main focus is to take photos in the moment or in surprise. Something he has already done when he took that photo of Takashi. I also feel like Yuu would be the one to keep pushing Takashi to love photography, and understand it's more than snapping a photo.
Kyousuke Yaguchi, can stay as the Love Rival for Yuu Kashima and overall keep his personality? It was actually pretty interesting and I liked his Character dynamics with everyone else. Kyousuke Yaguchi can also stay as the outsider that directly / indirectly influences Everyone else in the club. Causing Takashi to explore his feelings and expand his social group, and make him think about what he wants to capture in his photos. Overall the same interaction between Kyousuke & Yuu Kashima with their rivalry and brotherly relationship at it's breaking point. As well as, Kyousuke and Yui's relationship being tense with miscommunication.
Yui Tamura, I imagine Yui's photography style would be more of Adventure (capturing shots in the great outdoors, usually involving extreme sports; mountain-climbing, skiing, kayaking, sky diving, etc) & Sports Photography. Which could create interesting interactions between Kyousuke and Yui. Cue Yui trying to cover up the fact that, every time the soccer club commissions Yui to take some photos of their club activity to promote their club, all of Yui's photos are of Kyousuke playing soccer. Causing Yui to complain to Kyousuke to get out of his shots and that he's ruining them by being in all of them. So, Kyousuke just shouts back "then stop following me around with your camera, DUMBASS". Just imagine Them bickering, because Yui 100% did not delete the photo he captured of Kyousuke getting knocked out by a soccer ball to the face.
Itsuki Shikatani would definitely be in the club, but only because he prefers to have his photos be taken, more than he likes taking photos himself. He would probably be a cross dresser, who enjoys dressing up in feminine articles of clothing and posing for photos. Everyone on campus who doesn't know Itsuki personally, always asks who the beautiful woman in these photos are, the club president and vice President always just says it's one of their cousins that happen to be in town. If Itsuki had to have a style of photography, it would probably be fashion.
Toru Fujisaki. . . This one is difficult only because his Character is purely centered around Yuki's Character. . . So I'm going to take some creative liberties here. . . Probably really insecure about himself, because he feels like he's a wall flower that's really forgettable, that no one cares about. Although, it's mostly because he's shooting himself in the foot by not letting one have the opportunity to get to know him to give him a chance, in the first place. Until, he meets Yuki who makes him realize that not everyone sees him as a wall flower and someone can notice his nicer qualities about himself that he's hiding away. Toru's Character development in this AU, would be for for him to learn to love himself more and try to trust people to accept him. As well as to expand his social circle with the support of not only Yuki, but the Photography Club as well. At first I bet, he would only feel comfortable with Yuki taking his photos and modeling only for him, but over time he'd let the other club members take his photo when he gets more confident in himself. While also, developing his own style of photography, that isn't just "cute photos of Yuri", it would probably be Still Life or Portrait.
Ayato Yuri, okay first. . . I'm still not over the fact that this boy was written like a deranged feral child, that was given access to a pornhub account way too early in life. While being dropped on his head several times, before and after his first words. Anyhow. . . I feel like Yuri would fit the trope of the genius, that no one understands in any capacity. His mind is 10 steps ahead of everyone else and he forgets to slow down and explain what the fuck he's talking about, when he goes into a passionate rant about photography. With endless rambles about golden ratio, gold lighting and blue lighting, and how he needs these specific props, that don't seem to fit the theme of the photo at all to make it perfect. But despite that, his photos always come out beautifully. No one can deny that his methods might be extremely weird, but they always work out way too well to give anyone the opportunity to chastise him. Anyone trying to work with Yuri often leaves the experience with a beautiful photo in hand, but an enormous headache. Even members within the photography club can't keep up with Yuri most of the time either, he's often in his own little world that just makes sense to only him. He can be a eccentric and passionate about his hobby and goofy to not make people feel too uncomfortable with the huge distance he unintentionally places between himself and others when he doesn't bother to slow down for anyone. But, he still has a good heart to make sure everyone gets a piece of art that'll always be memorable to them. Additionally, with that being said I feel like Toru would be the few people that would consistently attempt to keep up with Yuri, when he's a light year away from everyone else in his rambles. Toru wouldn't shut down and show disinterest in what Yuri says when he can no longer keep up, he's always being supportive and encouraging Yuri to continue because he knows it makes him happy to be able to express his passion. And sometimes, Yuri will pause and explain a bit to let Toru keep up with him, because he just truly appreciates someone trying to get closer to him, without making him feel bad. I would say Yuri is a jack of all trades when it comes to Photography styles. There isn't a single style he is terrible at, but he truly excels at Abstract Photography.
Koshiro Itome I think Koshiro would fit the silent type trope, but with a lot on his mind. Always over thinking things, and although he looks calm his mind is always buzzing with 500 things at once. Because, of this the only way he can find some semblance of peace is by going out for a nature walk and letting the environment take his mind off things. He's always worries about deadlines for projects, meeting up with clients face to face for the first time, whether or not a company will like his photos he submitted, if his boyfriend Akemi is okay, what if he doesn't find anything to take a picture of or if he's missing the perfect shot right now, will the club be okay after they all graduate, what else can be learn to improve his skills etc etc. Akemi can always tell when he's actually calm and when he's just zoned out and drowning in his own worries behind his calm demeanor. Luckily for Akemi, he knows exactly what to do to make him feel better, like a life boat to his pleas for help in the vast ocean of his thoughts. Koshiro is 100% the mom friend in the club, always helping newbies out on how to properly take care of their equipment, and the general basics, stopping people from bickering and carrying around a Mary Poppins bag of useful items. "Damn I forgot to bring my infrared lens with me!" "It's okay I brought a spare, here you go." Koshiro's photography style would be Nature & Wild life, cue everyone wondering how the hell he managed to capture a photo of baby bear and it's mother so close up with such clarity with the equipment he has on him. It should be impossible there's no way he could it's just unlikely, but all Koshiro does in response is just shrugging calmly "I just slowly walked up to them, and took some photos and went my way after I was done, they weren't bothered at all." At first no one believes him, until they see the next photo of him petting the mother bear, and within the next photo of him holding the baby bears paw. I like to think Akemi is always bragging at how his boyfriend is basically a Disney Prince, with the way animals just trust him enough to let Koshiro approach to take the photos. Of course Akemi has the proof that his Boyfriend is not making any of these up. With photo evidence he had taken from a incredibly safe distance away, of Koshiro just interacting with wildlife at such a close distance. Because, Akemi was not in fact gifted the ability of a Disney prince, to be doing that shit that Koshiro pulls on a daily basis. I feel like because of this Akemi can be a bit over protective of Koshiro, always telling him to text him before he goes to work and he gets back home, so he knows a feral bear didn't devour his boyfriend in the woods. He tries his best to join Koshiro while he works so he can be at peace of mind that Koshiro is in fact safe, but they both know it's very difficult for Koshiro to focus. When his boyfriend is being incredibly cute how could he remember he's here to take photos of the wild life and not his boyfriend? That and Akemi always accidentally scares away the wildlife, when he accidentally reads the animals body language wrong as any attempt to devour his boyfriend. Akemi will lose 25 years of his life with amount of false alarms, he has encountered in those damn woods.
Keiichi Akemi, Akemi is definitely one of those smug bastards, that has an ulterative motive or an ace up his sleeve. Appearing sweet and kind until you realize it was a facade. But one way or another you find yourself wrapped up in his convoluted plans, where you're either in his photoshoot as a model or you're carrying all his equipment, while he goes from one job to the next. Akemi's photography style would be Wedding Photography & Landscape something he definitely would've picked up from the countless outings he had with Koshiro in the outdoors. Akemi's friends are almost always married or paired up together, and that's no coincidence. This man is a match-making demon, a hopeless romantic who loves to see a budding romance finally bloom. So, he can snag a fat check when they thank him for brining them together and hire him as the official wedding photographer. His intuition is never wrong about the perfect pairings and how to push the right buttons to move things along, without getting directly involved until the right time comes. Something, that will be a pain in Toono's ass down the line as he stays in the Photography Club.
Overall, I feel like this could've been a really nice BL Manga which was a love letter to the art media of Photography. As Toono figures out what Photography means to him and how he wants to use it to express his feelings. "Why do you take photos? What do you want to say in these photos and tell people without the ability of using your words?" I feel like at first Toono, would just be confused "it's just a photo what's so special about it? You take it as a cool momento for something."
But, as time goes on, and he learns why everyone in the club enjoys photography and why they're here, he learns it's more than that. Whether it be to vent something you're unable to express in words, express your love for something or someone, to tell a story, to inspire others, to feel free, to share something with someone. All these different forms of expression, will let Toono figure out what he wants from photography and how he plans on expressing it.
Also instead of the whole "have sex with someone in one month or we gang bang you against your will" dilemma. . . I feel like another suspenseful situation could have been, "Create a photo album, that will impress all of us in one month, or you have to help us all out with our next projects." Which at first doesn't sound terrible, until you remember...
Yui is a thrill seeker, and would probably push you off a cliff to snag a cool photo. Or force you to be his pack mule as you climb up serval mountains.
Itsuki would force you to cross dress and model different fashion styles to make you look like a clown for his own amusement. All the while he revels in your shame, and points out how these colors don't suit you at all, but ignores the fact he's the one who put you in that outfit in the first place.
Yuri is such a wild card that you honest to God don't know what the fuck will happen to you, it'll be like being on an acid trip the whole time. And not knowing what will happen brings you more fear than knowing what will.
Koshiro would probably bring you to a wolf den full of hungry ravenous wolves, and let you accidentally get eaten alive by a pack of wolves. While he takes pictures of puppies, without a care in the world.
Akemi... Akemi just scares Toono, he seems like the safest bet out of everyone else. But Toono knows better to trust that sweet smile. Toono would be safer walking into Satan's house than spend a day with Akemi at work. Whatever he would have planned for them if he were to lose this challenge would not be good for his sanity. He hates how he knows Akemi wants just that for Toono to know he's not going to be safe either. Akemi would probably make him cry with prying questions about his romance life. While hitting too close to home with all his assumptions about him that he can't argue back. It's losing battle from there on out.
The only problem for Toono is Everyone in this club is so different, that it's almost impossible to be able to impress them all. None of them agree, which style is better or having almost anything in common photography style wise. Toono can't just half-heartedly replicate anyone's style either, he's going to actually try and fail miserably to understand this art media better, like everyone else. I think after losing the challenge and spending time with everyone, Toono would come to really like the club and everyone else in it.
And that's my ✨two cents✨ on how this story could've been better if it didn't focus too much on the whole pwp aspect.
Take it or leave it.
#Here's Our Two Cents#Callisto Rants#yarichin b club#god i hope one day i forget this series exists#and no I don't care if there's people out there who like this series unironically y'all do you!#just wanted to rant on how i would change this story to make it less hyper sexualized 乁| ･ 〰 ･ |ㄏ#not trying to say y'all should be cancelled or something silly like that#Takashi Toono#Yuu Kashima#Kyousuke Yaguchi#Yui Tamura#Itsuki Shikatani#Toru Fujisaki#Ayato Yuri#Koshiro Itome#Keiichi Akemi#basically a huge rant post#AU where it's actually a fucking Photography Club hcs
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CANELA’S RECS [HAIKYUU!! & BNHA]
hi everyone! i’ve laid off writing a tad since the end off fluffvember, so here are a few of the amazing fics and talented writers i have encountered during this time. i reblog fics more frequently on my side blog @zurandom so feel free to follow me there as well <3 i dont consume much content myself but here are a few i recommend!
BLOG RECS
@dimplesum [bnha & haikyuu!!]
it really doesn’t matter how short or how long each of her writings are, she never disappoints. i honestly love the writing style and she has produced so much amazing content, when she reviewed one of my fics i was just like :0. she seems so nice and everything she writes is so elaborate and intricately done. one of the best blogs i have encountered, i am honored to be a moot. im really excited to read more of her content!
@marilags [bnha, haikyuu!! & more]
EVERYTHING. and i mean EVERYTHING i have read by them is astonishing, amazing beautiful. they’re such well crafted ideas that honestly hit close to home for some unknown reason bUT THEY DO. though i only followed recently i know for a fact it is impossible to be disappointed literally just pure talent here.
@neoheros [bnha & haikyuu!!]
timestamps GALORE, all of them are so beautifully crafted i swear. not only has she written for a wide variety of characters, but she also produces such amazing content with several different ideas that all manage to just hit you in the feels. one of the first blogs i followed on tumblr so i definitely recommend!
@svnarintaro [bnha & haikyuu!!]
a really nice content creator with a ridiculously aesthetic theme for their blog! she has lots of creative and unique ideas and headcanons especially so im really excited to watch their account grow and so glad to have become their mutual<3
FIC RECS
BNHA
[00:00] by @sukiglycerin [bakugou katsuki]
wholesome, short and sweet, start of the year bakugou fluff. lovely.
bloodlines by @dimplesum [monoma neito]
i literally did not like monoma until i started reading monoma fics pls. this is very well written!! i adore it!! yes!!
definitely what it looks like by @todourouki [bakugou katsuki]
i loved this with a passion. thats it. thats all. it was so well written AND the characterization felt PERFECT. it’s a cute concept and all around funny and i am so glad this was made it’s basically one of my favorite fics.
new year’s eve(nt) by @sipsteainanxiety
i havent read everything on this list but from what i have read it’s very wholesome and well written! lots of bakugou content atm hehe. also fun tropes i love it.
the smell of the ocean by @rccket-writes
not only do i adore the formatting here, but it was beautifully written in all honesty, i just really like the way the words do the word things.
the weight of love by @writeiolite [todoroki shouto]
hurt comfort? i dunno but its lovely! very well written in my opinion and worthy of a read :D
HAIKYUU!!
[12:08am] by @iwaizoom [kuroo]
TALENT. PURE TALENT. AND PAIN. they always have really good timestamps so i must recommend just going through the entire count and checking them out but this one in particular hit DIFFERENT.
[3:00am] by @iwaizoom [kageyama tobio]
again, pure art. i love how there were other characters incorporated into this and all the little things that build it up, its a nice way to recover from the pain i previously suggested.
best to worst to meet your parents by @haikyuuphilia
bye literally so much of what this author has written is funny i love it, i adore their characterization in this and all their other works pls.
little things they do by @xakusa
wholesome. that’s it. pure fluff. short and sweet i love it.
stupid polyester jacket by @bbykutos
written by my lovely wife, it is very well written and very heartbreaking but pls read it and give it some love <3
surnames by @marilags [ushijima wakatoshi]
for some reason im in love with ushijima and this is definitely one of those reasons. this was such a cute and carefully though out idea. also the presentation of this fic is just goregeous im literally jealous of how nice the aesthetic is but that’s besides the point. this was honestly really relatable because i love my last name and would never want to give it up so INSTANT comfort fic, thank you for writing this :D
why their relationships thrive by @sugawara-sweetheart
very wholesome, comprised of a few characters these are very wholesome and well written with great characterization! <3
you superglue a lid shut by @1plus1kiyoomi
bye this was perfect, i lived for the characterization it was fun!!
#fic recs#blog recs#bnha x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#azucanela talks#!!#if ur name is here#u did not see this#<3#:D
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