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#this was funnier in my head; but we stay silly!

idyllcy · 10 months

Text

don't miss me

word count: 9.4k

warnings: smut, nsfw

summary: it's you. It's been you, and it'll be you.

"uWAHHHHH!!" You sob, slamming your head into your hands.

"You have got to stop confessing to people who don't like you." Dick grumbles, sliding you the box of tissues on the table. "He's made it pretty clear that he has no interest."

"I'm bound to get to him at some point." You sit up, blowing your nose. "Come on."

"He's the school's hotshot."

"And you're captain of the varsity football team," You cough. "If I can tutor you and become friends with you, then the captain of the baseball team should be no big deal."

It's a strange place to find himself in. Dick had gone to you for help in one of his classes in exchange for enough money to fund your four years of college, and in exchange, you had taught him everything he needed for his classes. He went from risking the chance to stay on the team to having the best grade out of all of his teammates. He's thankful for you, he supposes, and he's the school's most wanted boy. He has more than enough of a fan club behind him.

He wonders why he was put in a public school instead of the private ones his brothers were put into. It wasn't as if Bruce lacked the money to put him into one.

"ANYWAY!" You toss the tissue into the trash behind you, stand up, and throw your fists in the air. "I will continue to confess!"

"Why not just go out with me?"

You pout at him, batting your lashes. "And potentially end up on a good chunk of the school's hit list? No thank you, Richard."

"Dick. Come on, it's not that bad."

You shrug, going back to the papers in your binder. "I'm not into you."

"We spend so much time together. We're bound to end up together, you know?"

"If you pull a psychology term on me I will punt you."

"You don't have the strength for that."

"I'll kill myself to change the trajectory of your life forever."

"That'd be very flattering for you to do."

"Ew."

But in the small classroom walls that confine the two of you, there's not much for the two of you to argue over. It's just a tutor-tutee relationship. There's nothing more. You don't understand why you rant out all of your frustrations to him when he has nothing to do with them, but you suppose it's not that much. Maybe it was silly to think that he would care. He probably doesn't. Dick was never your friend by choice, after all. It would be foolish to believe that he could care about you at all.

"I like you!" You yell from the bleachers, blowing a kiss, the rest of the school screaming along. The baseball captain shoots down your confession with a flick of his hand, and you pout.

It's fun to waste your youth pining over someone who doesn't love you back. It's not as if it mattered either. You would all scramble once you finished high school. Graduation was just around the corner. It didn't matter if he didn't like you back. It was so much funnier when they didn't.

You hear a chorus of screaming behind you, causing you to glance, just for a moment, at the reason for the screams.

"Oh, look who showed up." You smile. "Miss me already? Our session isn't until Wednesday."

"Don't flatter yourself." Dick's hands guide you to sit back down, standing next to you. "I came to scout out my competition."

"I thought you were still in that friends with benefits thing with Kori." You raise a brow at him.

"Broke it a while back." He hums. "How do you find this interesting?"

"I don't." You hum. "I'm here because he's here." You point at the baseball captain. "Obviously."

Dick clicks his tongue disdainfully. "I come all the way for you and you tell me that you're here for him?"

"I was here first, Dick." You wave happily as the captain stares at you. "I've been here."

"Well, I've come now. Let's get you home."

"I want to watch him finish his game."

"Why him and not me?"

You tilt your head at him. "No reason. I just think the baseball captain's hotter."

"Hotter than me?"

"Yes. Hotter than you."

"Did he reject you?"

"He waved down my kiss."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"Yeah, but I don't want you."

It's funny. Dick hears all about how you got rejected again in the most delusional way possible, from the way of "oh he breathes the same air as me so surely he's in love with me" to something more mellow like "yeah I got rejected again lol". But that was something he got used to, he supposes. The empty classroom that the two of you always sat in but never got yelled at for was a staple in his life, especially when more than half of the time he was showing up to class with bruises all over his body. Maybe fighting crime at night wasn't something he should promise to do so often. Bruce would let him focus on school if he asked. Maybe.

"You look like shit as always," You click your tongue, raising a brow at the sight of Robin coughing up blood on your balcony.

"Sorry, pretty girl," He chuckles. "Bumped into someone awful today, as you can see. Care to lend me a hand?"

"The joker? The riddler? I don't even know who you fight anymore." You haul him onto the couch, pulling the curtains behind you. "How deep is it?"

"A little wrapping will do the trick." He mumbles. "Sorry for the problem."

"You're here more than I can count on one finger." You sigh. "I'm used to it. Where's Batman?"

"He went back."

"And left you alone?"

"Yes." Robin hisses as you press the alcohol to his wound. "I'm sorry, again."

"It doesn't matter. I was up, anyway." You pause. "How long have you been fighting crime again?"

"I don't know."

"Mm." Silence. "You should rebrand soon. I heard there are two Robins now."

"I'm close." He chuckles, lifting his shirt so you can wrap the bandage around his waist. "What do you think about Nightwing?"

You grumble. "Superman said something about that the other day in his interview. I stayed up all night drawing what I think his suit would look like."

"Can I see it?"

"If you want."

"You're graduating, right? Where are you going after?"

"New York City." You mumble. "Haven't told anyone yet, but I got into my dream school. I'm set."

"Really?"

"Yeah." You mumble. "I'm moving over summer, so don't crash here anymore unless you want to give my parents a heart attack, alright?"

"I'll miss you."

"That's cute. I can't imagine the number of people who would die to hear that from Robin from Teen Titans himself."

"I will."

You stare up at him. Maybe it was strange. It had been three years since Robin would crash land onto your balcony in the city and beg you for first aid. It had been two years since Dick Grayson had asked you for help in math, and even shorter than the time you had started designing suits for him to look at. Maybe that's why you had grown used to the way he would rest his chin on your shoulder and stare through the lazy sketches you had of what you thought he should change his outfit into. He likes the way you picture Nightwing. He's like some disco guy in the first draft and much more chill in the second.

"Can I take the pages?" He mumbles. "Please? I want it."

"So you can steal my design?"

"No. I like the disco suit you drew."

"That was a first draft." You groan.

"I can start with it."

"It's too flashy! It doesn't fit the whole Batman aesthetic!"

"Doesn't matter." He grins. "It looks like my current Robin one but in blue."

You raise a brow at him incredulously.

"I'll buy these off of you."

"With your legal account?"

"I'll send you money each month anonymously like a patent. Wait. I can't see you anymore."

"Yeah." You exhale. "You can take it, though. I can't let anyone know I've been drawing Robin's clothes. I would get targeted by too many villains."

"That's true." Robin pauses. "Has anyone seen it?"

"No."

"Can I take all of them?"

"How are you going to get all of them to Batman?"

"I'll figure out a way." He grins. "I am Robin, after all."

"Well, then, Robin," You rustle the papers, dropping them in his open hands. "I hope you keep all of them."

"I'll pin them in my room's wall."

"That's just creepy."

"Maybe to you."

Dick never expected you to let him in three years ago, in his defense. He expected you to cower in fear like the rest of people or even just slide him a first aid kit. He was not expecting you to drag him into your room and start disinfecting his wound. He learned so much more about who you were through his interactions with you as Robin than he did as Dick. All he hears from you during the day is how you got rejected by the captain of the baseball team again. He wonders if he should just woo you as Robin instead. You seem to like his separate identity more.

"You forgot the number in front of the integral."

"No way." He grumbles.

"Yeah." You point. "Minor mistakes. It'll be fixed with some practice. I'm sure."

"When are we stopping this?"

"Eager to get me out of your hair already? After senior finals, of course."

"Are you going to keep confessing to captain until then?"

"Why?"

"I'm suggesting you give me a chance, of course." Dick stares at you.

"There you go again with that," You yawn. "Are you sure it's not because I'm your type? Scratch that. I don't even think I'm your type."

"And if you were?"

"That would be very interesting considering your dating history." You grimace.

Dick grumbles in response. He didn't have something for that one.

It's ironic to think that someone else in the school would die to date the man in front of you. You wonder why you don't like him sometimes. You're sure he's someone straight out of a movie, a guy who everyone would want to be with at least once in their life. He almost reminds you of the other football boys on his team. Maybe this was a movie. The jock ends up with his tutor. Some sort of cliché love story that you would never touch, ever again.

Robin crash lands on your balcony again before you can think more of it.

"Sorry!"

"What brings you here today? Ivy?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?" He sits up, a grin on his face.

"You smell like herbs all over you." You grimace.

"Woah, sharp nose." Robin mumbles. "Can you ramble about your high school to me?"

"Oh. You wanna hear about how I have a crush on the captain of the football team? The guy I tutor?"

"yOU WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED THE BASEBALL GUY." Robin gasps, jaw dropped in shock.

"I changed my mind." You hum, fishing out the disinfectant from the first aid kit. "I won't admit it to his face, of course, but I think he's kind of fine. That man is infuratingly attractive. Who gave him his bone structure? He looks like a greek statue or something. I want him carnally."

"Are you going to ask him out?"

"And do long distance in this day and age?" You laugh. "No. I'm going to keep pretending that I like the baseball captain until the end of graduation. I'd like to be remembered as a fool. Besides, I don't think Dick actually likes me that way. I heard something about him and Kori in the halls and I don't want to be part of that. I heard he slept with a good chunk of the girls sports team captains too. I don't know. I'd prefer not to know. All I know is that I don't want to be part of that mess."

Robin peels his shirt up, pouting. "I thought you said confessing was the best form of closure."

"Not when dating your crush is going to get half of the school on your back. I've lived without being in the spotlight for long enough. I plan on doing that after school." You press the gauze to his wound, causing him to hiss. "You good?"

"Hurts."

"I'm sure it does." You deadpan.

"Why not tell him?"

"You seem very invested in my love life with this dude."

"I'm bored. I keep getting beat up these days, so I have to listen to something to get it off my mind." Robin pouts as you wrap the bandage around his waist.

"Did you gain more muscle?"

"Does it look that way?"

"A little." You raise a brow.

"I work out more in my free time."

"You know, maybe I like the stupid football guy because he reminds me of you too much."

"You like me?"

"I thought you were a good detective."

"I am."

"And you didn't know?"

"I didn't want to point it out." He mumbles. "Maybe you'd get uncomfortable."

"Alright." You yawn, closing the first aid kit. "This is one of the last times you're crashing. ever."

"Why?"

"I go on vacation in a couple weeks and I'm going to start packing for moving. You aren't going to be able to see me in a long time."

"Can I get a goodbye kiss?" He pouts.

"You're a nightmare, Robin," You help him stand up, pressing your lips to his cheek. "I hope I see you as Nightwing one day."

"I can promise you that."

You wonder some days if you should just tell Dick that you have a crush on him. You call him his government for shits and giggles, and you barely pay enough attention to what he does in tutoring these days. Maybe you were just destined to be stuck with someone like him. Yet, even as graduation approaches, you find there's no use sticking close to those ideas. You'll never see him again. It's pointless to admit your crush now.

"So? What's your answer?"

"I'm still in love with the baseball guy," You sigh blissfully, eyes far away. "He's so... dreamy."

"The only difference between the two of us is that I have better grades." Dick raises his brow.

"Richard." You yawn. "I could fix him."

"You absolutely could not."

"You're right. I could not." You laugh. "Isn't it fun being delusional? I think it's great."

"It is absolutely not."

"Maybe to you, Richard." You yawn. "I find it quite amusing to daydream about myself with a person who would never look at me twice."

"If you ask me." He clicks his tongue. "I'd say he thinks about you a lot more now."

"Oh, really?" You tilt your head. "I still don't find myself believing that fact."

"It's hard to think about it." He grimaces. "He asked me for your number the other day."

"Did you give it to him?"

"You said to ask first. I forgot to ask."

"Are you sure you forgot?"

"I didn't give it to him on purpose." He grins.

"Sly, sly, boy." You chuckle. "Oh, right. I forgot to give you the worksheets."

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Too bad." You rummage through your bag, handing him a stack of papers. "I'll see you after school."

"You expect me to do this during practice?"

"You're off-season. You barely train." You stand up, dusting off your hands. "Have fun."

Dick glances at the papers. "Wait-"

The door clicks behind you, and Dick sits there, staring at the stack of papers.

Dick lets his curiosity get the best of him, flipping through the pages, reading through your sketches and messy notes. It's neat, uncrumpled, to the point. The drawings are messy, but each part of his suit as Robin has been noted down. His weapons have been detailed, and he wonders if you had been doing more than just checking out his gadgets whenever he crashed your apartment. Maybe you were carefully calculating everything just as you had with his math homework. Perhaps he would get separated from you years later and never see you again.

He finds himself at your final period of the day, knocking on the door.

"Come in."

"Ah, Mrs. Baker," He smiles. "My tutor left this during lunch, so I came to hand it back to her."

You stare at Dick, getting out of your seat to take the papers from him with the actual packet in your other hand. "My apologies. I will see you after school."

A girl in the class faints while the others scream.

You sit back in your seat, staring at the note he left in your stack.

There was no point in caring for things that would inevitably pass.

So, neither of you mention anything ever again. The tutoring goes on as normal, the confessions do as well. There's something consistently hanging in the air between the two of you that neither addresses. The elephant in the room is neither seen nor discussed. The stories of your youth no longer matter to you, and you graduate top of the class, valedictorian, going to the school of your choice. It didn't matter that you had just stopped pining after the baseball captain one day. No one would know why. Maybe. Except Dick.

Dick learns to move on with life, slowly. You sit in the back of his mind when he's bored while on patrol, staring down at the city, wondering if you had ever considered him to even be an option. But he finds no space in thinking about you. He had his own job. The two of you had grown up, maybe you before him. The two of you were just. High school friends. Maybe not even friends. He thinks about your signature in his yearbook often. Maybe he would find you one day. It would come slower. Maybe.

But he leaves your mind as quickly as he had been there, left behind with Gotham when you had stepped foot into your dream school. You find your success in life as easily as you had executed whatever plan it had been in high school. You're quickly where you want to be in life, top of the city, sipping margaritas with your friends when you grow bored. It's something that someone has dreamed of, and it's something that you have considered. Maybe you would consider staying where you are longer had it not been for the obscenely high crime rate lately.

"I heard Jessica got mugged the other weekend." One of your friends sighs. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am." Jessica mumbles. "Oh, but there was this super hot hero who saved me! I tried asking for his name, but he never told me. Black suit, blue bird thing on his chest. He was so... dreamy!"

"Jessica, darling," Another woman chimes in. "I'm sure you've gone delusional. New York City does not have people saving them. Our crime rate is just a nightmare in itself."

"Was it Nightwing? You know, the... superhero?" You furrow your brows. "I think that's what he is."

"Is that his name?!" She gushes. "He's sooo romantic!"

"Jessica, aren't you engaged?"

"Awh, it's not as if I'd ever get a chance with him."

You chuckle. "Did he look good?"

"So good. God. His black hair? I thought I was going to lose my mind."

"Darling," A woman reaches their hand for yours. "How do you know about Nightwing?"

"I read Gotham Daily for fun." You smile. "It's good to keep up with what's been going on in my home city."

"Right! Then surely you know Nightwing?"

"Know is a little bit of an overstatement." You grimace. "I don't know him personally. I know about him."

"Oh, well." Jessica chuckles. "I'm sure you'll get to know him so much more soon."

"What."

"He asked if I knew anyone by your name, so I told him your add-"

"You gave my house address to a random man who saved you?!" You yell. "That's stupid!"

"He was asking for you!"

"Why?"

"I don't know." Jessica holds back a laugh. "I told him your studio address."

"At least it wasn't my house address," You mumble. "But I'm holed up in that hellhole when I get bored, so I suppose it's the equivalent of giving him my house address."

"He's got real defined muscles-"

"Okay, Jessica, I think that's enough for the night. I'll call your fiancé for you."

"Ugh. He's so fine."

"We get it, darling."

You help her into her fiancé's car, watching as the two of them drive away. The other ladies all head off, and you stand there in the night. It's not half as cold as you're expecting it to be, but you suppose being alone at night is a little lonely. You purse your lips, clicking on your phone to call an Uber to your studio. You didn't feel like staying home. Maybe sketching your frustrations out in the studio would do something better.

"Alone at night, sweetheart?"

You turn to face the voice.

"...Nightwing?"

He's in the second design.

"Miss me?"

"I don't know, actually." You mumble. "I was just feeling a little betrayed that Jessica just gave you my address like that."

"I checked it out. It's a nice little studio. Are you still up to big things?"

You shrug. "I bet you read the magazines about me."

"I do." He chuckles. "I have your sketches pinned on my walls still, even when I moved." He leans in, breath tickling your ear. "Shall I take you home?"

"To the studio, if you will."

"Hold on tight." He wraps an arm around your waist, launching the grappling hook. "I don't remember if you've ever flown with me."

"I have not." You cling onto him, grimacing. "Please do not drop me. You aren't Spiderman."

"Should I be offended that you're comparing me to a fictional superhero?"

"I'm going to die if you do."

"We're here." He lands on the rooftop.

"Why the sudden move?"

"Am I not allowed to follow my favorite designer to the ends of the earth?"

"Yeah. It's a little creepy, honestly." You scrunch your nose. "Did something go wrong with your suit?"

"No." He mumbles. "Maybe. I don't know."

You raise a brow at him.

"Nothing went wrong. I just missed you."

"Missed me or having a place to patch up that wasn't Batman?"

"Both." He mumbles. "Can I see your designs?"

"So you can steal them?"

"Not fair. You're the one who let me steal them." Nightwing pouts. "I still have them on my wall, if you want to visit my place."

"That's a little too early." You imitate his pout, leaning back, his arm still around your waist. "Don't you think?"

"For someone who's caught you naked when you were in high school, I don't think so." He hums, hand leaving your waist. "Will you show me around?"

"Since you asked so nicely."

It's strange to see him again after so many years. You were sure that Robin — Nightwing — would come to forget you at some point. You had heard more stories about how he had been such a great protector of the city at dark alongside Batman, so you suppose that inevitably he probably had found someone on the way. You heard he had a thing with Batgirl at some point. You wonder why he didn't stay with her. The newspapers were just as shocked as you were when they found out they broke up.

"I heard you had a thing for redheads." You hum, opening the door on the rooftop. "You know. With the whole dating thing on the magazines."

"I suppose I am weak to them." He follows you down the stairs, pausing when you fish out a key and open the door. "Jealou-"

You cut him off. "Welcome to my studio."

"Are those superhero suits?"

"I was trying to figure out what fabrics would work to avoid acid burns." You shrug. "Old habits. I was thinking of visiting Gotham a little later and I was worried I'd get caught up in another attack."

"You'll be fine. Robin is surprisingly competent."

"Are you guys like one big family or something?"

"No." You catch the way he pauses in inhaling. "Nope."

"Sure." You yawn. "I'm crashing. Please be gone by morning."

"Aw, you don't want to see me?"

"I can't tailor anything for you. Go to bed."

"Superheros don't sleep."

"You're human. Night." You close the door to the bed in the studio, and Nightwing looks around at the papers scattered on the floor. New York could survive a day without him.

You wake up the next morning to Nightwing still in your studio, staring at the sketches on the floor.

"Did you end up giving this one to Kid Flash?"

"There's no use. He's dead." You yawn, opening your laptop.

"Didn't need to remind me like that."

"Nightwing. Don't you have a home to go to?"

"I'm exhausted, true." He yawns. "You're contagious."

"Whatever helps you sleep." You grumble. "Stupid emails. Go home."

"And if I want to stay?"

"I'll peel your mask off." You sigh. "Now go."

"Can I crash some other time?"

"If you can find my apartment."

"Shall I bet on it, sweetheart?"

You tilt your head at him, raising a brow. "Be my guest."

Sometime between where you are now and where you had left Dick, he had caught up. Maybe it had been a chase he was doing unconsciously. Maybe he missed the way you would patch him up in your apartment at night no matter how late he found himself in your room. Maybe he missed the way you would take him out for dinner if he did well on a test. Maybe he just missed you. He finds himself staring at you in the grocery store, lips parted in mild surprise. He wasn't expecting to run into you here. He thought you'd stay holed up in your studio for the day.

"...Richard?"

"Dick." He corrects.

"It is you!" You mumble. "What are you doing in New York? I thought you were working for law enforcement at Gotham."

"Change of plans, change of place." It wasn't exactly a lie. He needed to leave that place. He doesn't know why he picked your city of all places, though. "You?"

"I've been here."

"I suppose." he hums. "Is it nice here?"

"Safer than Gotham." You laugh dryly. "I can't believe Nightwing left that place."

"Why?"

You turn to stare at him. "I figured he'd want to stay close to Batman."

"The first always wants to leave and explore." Dick smiles.

"A psychology fact or just something small?"

"An observation not proven by experiments." He hums. "Why are you here?"

"Low on oat milk." You mumble, reaching for the fridge door.

"You're really living that New York City life, huh?"

"Maybe."

"Do you miss Gotham?"

"Never." You pause. "I only miss it because someone used to crash my place."

"Someone?"

"Secret." You smile at him. "Have fun in New York."

"If you don't mind." He mumbles. "Can we exchange numbers again?"

"I never changed my old one."

It never struck Dick that maybe you would keep your old number. You had no reason to keep it, after all. Yet, as he clicks open a conversation that he hadn't touched in years but still kept, he wonders if the two of you had just stopped in time. Maybe he had just chosen you from the start. It wasn't as if his high school life was conventional. The popularity at school meant nothing to him in retrospect.

So, he finds himself staring at the ice cream aisle for a little too long, staring at your favorite flavor an uncomfortable amount of time. Maybe it would be his housewarming gift for you as someone crashing into your room. He should go home soon, he supposes. The sun was setting quickly, and he had to do nightly patrol.

He wonders if he'll just crash into your apartment out of instinct.

So, after a quick clean-up and call to the police, he finds himself landing on a random balcony. He could be wrong. He was sure this could just be some complete stranger's balcony, but it could also be right. He had a feeling that you were inside, as he always did. He finds a strange sense of deja vu, especially as Nightwing. He wanted to pay you a visit on the first day in your super-suit, but you had taped the notice that you were already gone.

"I'm surprised you actually found this place." You tilt your head at him as you open the door. "Come in."

"Weird sense of deja vu, no?"

"Almost." You yawn, noticing a bag in his hand. "What's that?"

"Housewarming."

"I don't recall telling you my favorite ice cream flavor, ever."

"Lucky guess."

"Sure, hero." You hum. "I'm too tired to be a good host, so do what you want."

"Could you wrap me up? That's all I want."

"You're hurt?"

"It's not easy out on these streets."

"Better be no cuts."

"Just a handful of bruises."

"I'll get the ice." You sigh. "Why do you always come at the most unconventional times of day."

"Maybe I just like you when you're half drunk on sleep depravity, pretty girl."

"I'm going to punch you." You grumble, activating the ice pack from your first aid kid, and throwing it at him. Nightwing fails to notice the way your ears burn from the nickname.

"Is it just one bedroom?"

"Did you think I lived in a penthouse?"

"Kind of."

"I live alone. There's no need." You blink. "Knock yourself out. I'll be in bed."

"Sweetheart."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever considered me to be a man?"

"As in jump me? No." You hum. "I have security cameras in all four corners of the room. If you did, I would have the evidence to prove you as some creepy guy in my house."

"Even if I'm Nightwing?"

"Even if you're Nightwing."

Dick watches as you completely fall asleep in your bed, ignoring the way that he gets up to sit by you, staring at your sleeping form. You were always too vulnerable with the wrong people, maybe. You had handed him all of your designs in a heartbeat, spilling out everything that had ever plagued your mind in a breath. He rests his chin on the plush of your mattress, breathing matching yours, staring at you. He wonders if this was what he had moved to New York for. Crashing your room at the unholy hours of the night and catching up with you. It's a foolish dream of his. You could never love him back at himself, so he resorts to crashing your apartment and asking for patching up as Nightwing instead.

"Pretty girl." He mumbles, sitting up, pressing a kiss to a lock of your hair. "Missed you."

You wake up to Nightwing gone, the balcony door closed, thankfully, and a splitting headache. You wonder if your all-nighters have finally caught up with you. Maybe they have. You're caught between wondering if you should text a friend to bring food for you or just ordering off of some overpriced delivery app in the most overpriced city in the country. You decide against both, falling asleep in your bed covers as your fever rages on. How exhausting.

You wake up to the sound of your doorbell, tugging yourself out of bed, taking your gun with you.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

You open the door to your apartment, squinting at the man.

"Come back another time. I feel like shit right now." You grumble, reaching to close the door on Dick.

"If you're sick, shouldn't you need someone to take care of you?"

"My secretary can."

"You have a secretary?"

You sniff. "Yeah."

"I heard she's on break from the twitter updates account. Let me in. I promise I won't burn your kitchen down." Dick mumbles.

You frown. "And you're not going to jump me?"

"No."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you do." You mumble, showing him the gun in your other hand. "I have this bad boy."

"You have a gun?"

"You never know who's going to break in." You grumble, opening the door to let him in.

"Do you have groceries?"

"I was at the store yesterday. Make do with what I have. Or something." You blink, pulling the blanket further over yourself. "I feel like I've been struck in half by an axe."

"Go rest up." Dick places a hand on your forehead, resting his forehead on yours. "You're burning."

"I think I know that much." You shuffle back to your bed, laying flat on it.

"Do you have Advil?"

"Tylenol's in the cabinet. Might be expired. I've had it forever."

"It's not." He mumbles, getting a glass of water for you as well. "Come on."

You sit up, swallowing the pills with the water, head still spinning. "Thermometer's in the same cabinet."

Dick presses the infrared thermometer to your head, staring at your temperature. "You're awfully hot."

"Thanks." You grumble. "You haven't said that since high school."

"What do you usually do when sick?"

"I haven't been sick since I moved out." You blink slowly, lying back down. "Don't trash the place."

"I won't."

You pass out.

It's ironic. Dick was in your apartment less than twelve hours ago as Nightwing, and now he was in your apartment cooking you soup that he doesn't remember ever learning the recipe of. He missed this. He missed you. Maybe that was why all those women had looked at him at some point in their relationship and told him that he liked someone else. How pitiful of him. To love someone yet date someone else.

But you recover just as quick. Almost as if you were waiting for him to just enter your apartment and take care of you. It was as if your body just needed him once. You don't know. You wake up to Dick sprawled on your couch and your body all dehydrated. There's a bowl of soup next to you that's still warm, and you start eating it as you take your own temperature. It's day. You don't know if it's the same day or you slept through an entire day, but the sun is out, and you feel a little better.

"Do you want help?" Dick opens one of his eyes to stare at you, and you blink at him.

"I'll be fine. Thank you for staying overnight."

"Of course." He hums.

Nightwing crashes two nights later, tumbling down your fire escape. You clutch the gun in your hand and stare at the balcony.

"Just me, sweetheart."

"What a crash landing." You mumble, opening the window to let him in. "What is it this time? We really shouldn't have that many supervillains here."

"Less, that's true." Nightwing hums. "But I still got a good beating." He laughs.

"You're going to be permanently bruised at this rate." You haul him through the window, sighing. "What do you want this time? More bandages? Gauze? A trip to the ER? My soul?"

"Nope. Just checking to see how my favorite girl is doing."

"Now that's just creepy."

"That is not!"

"Oh, no it definitely is." You sigh.

"Are you feeling better?"

You tilt your head as Nightwing pulls his suit up to show you the bruise. "I had a splitting fever yesterday. I'm better now."

"That's good. You didn't answer when I knocked yesterday."

"So you guessed I was sick?"

"Greatest detective in Gotham, remember?"

"Yeah, but this is New York." You mumble, breaking another ice pack to press to his bruise. "I'm sure there's someone better than you."

"Really?"

"I'm sure of it."

Nightwing swings by your apartment every other night. You don't understand how he has the time for that, but you don't question it or anything else. Too many questions lead to too many thoughts. You try not to think of much when you're hanging out with him every other night.

"At this point, I'm going to become nocturnal." You grumble, hanging off the edge of the couch.

"Just for me?"

You raise a brow. "No."

"Are you still designing?"

"Here's a new sketch." You hand him a random paper from the ones all over the ground, and he stares at it.

"A new design for me?"

"No. Just an alternate outfit."

"Can't you get it sewn up for me?"

"I don't like you that much." You grumble.

Nightwing rests his chin on your shoulder huffing.

Somewhere between the crashing apartments and movie nights, you found yourself tangled in Nightwing's limbs, closer to him than you could have imagined in the past. You wonder if any traces of Robin are there, the bruises and scars littered all over his body. You wonder if he had ever liked you. In the empty nights that you had spent with Robin, you found yourself enamored by him. It was foolish for you to ever develop those feelings, so you wonder if Nightwing can read it off of you. He probably can.

"I can't make it in two days." Nightwing mumbles, adjusting the blanket draped over the two of you.

"Mm," You mumble. "Why not?"

Nightwing goes silent, staring at the screen. "Breach of privacy, don't you think, sweetheart?"

"So now I'm not allowed to hear about what you're doing in your free time?"

"Hero's secret." He rests his hand on your shin, tracing mindless circles on your skin. "You'll forgive me, right? Sweetheart?"

You grumble, looking to the side.

"I'm not going to be patroling that day, anyway."

"Oh, yeah." You mumble. "I'm not home that day either. I'm supposed to help Dick move into his new apartment."

"Cheating on me, pretty girl?"

"I was two timing you guys in high school, sure." You pause. "Speaking of Dick. I don't remember ever giving him my home address. How did he even find me?"

Nightwing taps your shin twice. "You sure you didn't text it to him?"

"I swear I didn't-" You pause when you see a conversation with Dick, sending him your full address. "Strange. I don't remember."

"Are you showing early signs of memory loss?"

"Don't be a dick," You pout. "Maybe I texted him while half delirious."

"I have to go, sweetheart," He mumbles, brushing your hair back and pressing a kiss to the corner of your eye. "The city calls."

"I was thinking about it," You tuck your legs back to your chest, staring at him as he clasps everything back onto his outfit. "We should really stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Whatever it is we are doing." You mumble. "The whole... situationship thing."

"Do you not want me anymore?"

"I'd prefer to actually find someone." You adjust the blanket on yourself, clicking to lower the tv volume. "That's not right. I can't date a superhero. I think that's more normal. I don't even know who you are."

Nightwing opens his mouth, closing it when he remembers he can't argue with you on it.

"Does that mean I can't crash anymore?"

"No." You huff. "No more cuddling."

"And if I ask you out?"

"No point." You grumble. "I'd be dating a superhero and not a human."

"I thought you said I was human?"

You pause. "But I don't know who you are. You could be some creepy forty year old for all I know."

"'Kay, now that's just rude, sweetheart. I am not forty."

"Yeah, yeah," You grumble. "Ask me out in your civilian form if you really want me that bad."

"Is that a deal?"

"As long as it isn't out of nowhere."

Nightwing disappears into the city, and you glance at the movie still playing in the background.

Dick thanks you for the help with moving apartments. You wonder how he managed to end up as your neighbor, but as he kicks the remaining boxes into the complex, you don't really complain. You could be sitting in your room drawing something insane for Nightwing right now. Maybe it was a healthy break from the guy you've been falling in love with. You wonder why he didn't just stop seeing you once he found out you liked him.

"You look like you're thinking hard."

"That's definitely not something you know how to do?"

"Ey. I'm not stupid. Remember? I was salutatorian." Dick raises a brow, opening one of the boxes.

"I forgot." You pause. "Wasn't your brother suspended?"

"Yeah. He was quite a handful."

"He was funny," You hum, opening another box. "I found him really amusing."

"Makes you think hard about family dynamics."

"Really does." You hand him decorations to go around the apartment from the floor, and you pause when you see a binder. "What's this?"

"Oh, you weren't supposed to see that." He takes it from your hands, holding it behind himself. "You were not supposed to see that."

You glance at the paper flutter out of the binder, and you reach for it, pausing at the familiarity.

"Did you... where did you get this?"

"I found it at a thrift store." He smiles.

"Thrift stores don't sell old sketches by people drawn during high school for superheros." You deadpan.

"An antique store?"

"Spit it out, Richard." You furrow your brows, pulling your lip up. "Are you Nightwing or did you rob him? I doubt both of them, so your explanation better be convincing."

"I like you."

"what."

"Let's go out."

"Where is this coming from?" You shake your head in confusion.

"Um. Two nights ago?"

You pause. "I didn't see-"

You blink at Dick tuck the paper back into the binder, placing it on the kitchen counter.

"YOU'RE ACTUALLY FUCKING NI-"

"I'd prefer if you kept that revelation to yourself. These walls aren't soundproof."

You gawk at him. "I was wrapping you up every single fucking night at Gotham?"

"Yes?"

You sit there, hands lax, hanging from the box, questioning every single thing you had ever told him up to this point.

"YOU LISTENED TO ME TALK ABOUT HOW INFURIATINGLY HOT I FOUND YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?!"

"...yes."

You slam your head into your hands, head spinning from the impact and realization. You told Nightwing you found him hot. You told Dick, who had crashed into your room almost every day at Gotham, all about how you thought he was attractive, but there was no point in telling him. You kissed him on the cheek in high school. The more you think about it, the more you question your presence in the room and the more you want to dig a hole and die in it. You were such an embarassment.

"I think I'm going to dig a hole and bury myself." You look up from your hands.

"Please don't do that." Dick mumbles, stepping next to you. "Do you hate me that much? You said you-"

"Yeah." You purse your lips. "Yes. But this is very out of the blue and I need a couple days to process all of this information."

"Your break ends in a couple of days."

"UGH!" You cry, dragging your hands down your face. "I would say yes but oh my god. This is embarassing. So embarassing."

"Yes."

You blink slowly.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a yes." You answer in a heartbeat. "Please give me a couple days to come to terms with it, though."

"Anything." He mumbles, kissing your forehead.

Dating Dick Grayson is an experience. He's quiet, slow, and he takes his time with you. You find yourself in his apartment more and more despite the ever-sinking knowledge that he's Nightwing. You forget sometimes — only for him to crash through his balcony and roll into your arms. It's worrying now that you're actually dating him. There's a fear that he'd go missing like his brother and maybe even die. The idea that he was returning to the police force wasn't any more comforting.

"Why here?" You mumble, peeling the suit off of his body. "We can go back to Gotham if you really want."

"Why would you move back to Gotham with me?"

"I've been working online for the past year." You sigh. "I never knew when you'd come crash landing into the house during night so I sold my studio. I'm always worried you'll go missing on me one day."

"You're willing to move back with me?"

You heave, picking the mask off of his face.

"Really?"

"Your family is there." You whisper, almost scared as though your voice would give out on you. "Mine is too."

"You'll go back with me?" He holds onto your forearms, eyes sparkling.

"Yeah."

You don't know what prompts you to tell him that at the dead of the night only a month into dating him, but it just felt right. It was strange to believe that you had been so willing to move so quickly despite dating him for such a short time. You weren't even sure if you would be able to last past the three-month mark. Maybe it was a mistake of some sort. To move with Dick so quickly. You don't know how you're supposed to decide so fast.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Dick grabs your wrist, causing you to stop with the wrapping. "You've wrapped four more layers than you usually do."

"Do you think we'll last past the three month mark?" You whisper, almost as if you were asking the wind and not him.

"Yeah." Dick hums, helping you rip the bandage. "It'll be fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "I haven't lied to you before, love."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." He kisses you gently, body warmth grounding you. "I promise."

You tuck the rest of the bandages back into the first aid kit, and Dick pulls you into his lap, peppering kisses over your face and neck. It causes you to giggle, smile erupting on your face as butterflies had when you had fallen for him the first time. The worries melt away as Dick runs his hand up and down your back soothingly. You were lucky. The wait was worth it, you think. He was an angel.

"Let me know when to stop," He mumbles against your lips before going back to making out with you, kisses light on your skin.

You squirm in his lap, his hands holding your hips down, giving you just enough space so that you don't bruise. His tongue slips into your mouth at some point, your eyes going half-lidded, welcoming him with fervor. Dick's hands trace circles on your hip, hands snuck underneath your shirt to tug at your bra, unclasping it with his free hand, lips never leaving yours. Your hands reach down for his shirt, tugging at the fabric, fiddling with the fabric. Dick smiles against your lips, pulling away.

A strand of saliva breaks from your lips as he does. "Struggling, pretty girl?"

"Yeah." You huff, watching as Dick pulls it over his head.

"Pretty baby," He laughs. "Feel better?"

"Yeah," You mumble, leaning down to bite his clavicle. You suck on it gently as Dick traces a hand past your shorts down to your clit, drawing lazy circles on your clit, humming lowly, vibrations traveling straight to your core.

"Pretty girl..." He sighs as you let go of his collar with a pop, sliding a finger from your clit into your cunt, sighing slowly as he slides his finger in further, earning a whimper from your lips. "Feel good?"

"Mhm." You gasp. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, pretty girl." He whispers against your skin. "Want me to help you out?"

"Yes, please," You mumble. "Please, Dick."

"Anything for you, sweetheart." His hands speed up, thumb trying to brush circles on your clit as his index finger curls inside of you. You wonder if he's teasing or if he really doesn't remember where your g spot is — You choke on your own thought as he finds it. "There it is."

Your fingers reach for his chest, nails digging into his pecs as he continues curling his finger, adding another one inside of you. He hisses quietly as your nails dig deep enough to draw blood, a trail of red following the scratch as he continues with his fingers inside of you.

"Pretty girl, on the back please."

"Sorry," You move your hands to his back, yelping as he starts again. You clench on his fingers as he curls them once more, your orgasm ripping through your skin; the sweat wraps your body in a thin sheen of white, reflecting the dim lighting of the apartment. You curl into him, your whole body shaking from the orgasm, lips parted in a silent cry. You blink to try and catch your breath, coughing.

"Sweetheart?"

"I get why you've had so many exes now." You mumble.

"I like you the best." He mumbles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your eye.

"I bet you say that to all of them."

"Only to my favorites." He hums. "Just you."

You look at him doubtfully.

"I promise."

You close your eyes, head ringing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

You move to get rid of your shorts as Dick slides his boxers off, straddling him and sinking down slowly. You stay there to adjust, and wait, mind wandering slowly as Dick starts bouncing you. You keep your voice to yourself, only small whimpers and light gasps slipping past your lips. Your eyes cloud over as your brain goes on autopilot. Dick notices quickly, stopping altogether when you don't seem to respond.

"Babe?"

You stare at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll be fine." You smile.

You count with fingers in your mind, from one hand to the next, then back to the original hand, changing so that one counts the fives and the other counts the other single digits, and then the tens and the single digits. You don't know why you're counting them, but it seems like a lot or too little — too little yet too much. Your mind spins gently, slowly, almost as if the thoughts were like murky water, pulling you down slowly, waiting for a moment to drown you wholeheartedly.

"Babe." Dick tries again, calloused fingers brushing over your hip. "Talk to me."

"I thought you were the one who sucked at communication." You blink back slowly, not registering your words. "You know?"

"I usually do, but I learn."

"I suppose you do." You stare at him. "I'm scared."

"Of us?"

"Yeah." You whisper. "It's in the back of my mind constantly. What if you return dead one day like you did to Barbara so many years ago?"

"I wasn't dead-"

"You were shot in the head." You whimper. "You." You go quiet, resting your head in the crook of his neck, closing your eyes. "I've done nothing with you."

"Pretty girl-"

"Your life as Nightwing was in Barb's hands." You start. "The two of you have done so much together. The news went insane when they found out you were engaged to her and set to marry her. I was so ready to see the news of a marriage, and then it seemed that you had just broken the engagement out of nowhere — and then I find out that you moved out of Blüdhaven and disappeared from the very city you poured your whole heart into and find you out here on the streets of New york? What — what kind of madness did I read in the morning newspaper, you, you left the city you fell in love with for the streets of New York?? Do you know how — how preposterous you sounded when you said that? It was as if I had been told that Batman was actually Bruce Wayne or something, it was so—"

"Babe." Dick whispers. "Babe."

"... insane of you to just do something — yeah?" You mumble. "Sorry. We're having sex and I'm—"

"I find it endearing," He laughs, resuming the circles on your hip. "But I'm with you now. Not with Babs." He smiles. "You. I moved here to New York after becoming Blüdhaven's billionaire savior because of you. I didn't move anywhere for any of my exes, right?"

You avoid his gaze, swallowing out of guilt.

"Don't feel bad for doubting me." He smiles. "I understand why."

"I guess that makes two trust issues havers in this relationship." You frown playfully.

"Well," He hums, standing up, switching positions to place you underneath him. "If you don't mind."

"God. I think I should get fucked silly. I hate my brain."

"Then what'll happen to all of my outfits?"

"Just find someone else." You grumble, kicking your legs over him. "I'm sure you can handle it."

"Really?" He thrusts into you sharply, causing you to gasp. "Really."

"Dick Grayson, just get on with it." You grumble.

You wonder sometimes where he had all the energy to patrol, work, and fuck you, but you suppose stamina training might've been part of the curriculum with Batman. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he pounds into you, mess of slick and cum following Dick's cock as he slides in and out of you, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. Dick pants into your ears, head spinning, drunk on the lust as he continues, fingers flying to your clit frantically, desperate to get you off. You're drunk off the same lust, hands moving to pull his lips to yours, mouth open and drool all over you two's chins.

It's messy.

You gasp and curl as you get closer, heels digging into the back of his thigh to try and have him deeper, his name slipping past your lips like a mantra, your mind melting into mush over him. Dick mumbles under his breath, marveling at how pretty you look with drool slipping down your chin and clouded eyes. You're gorgeous when you're reduced to a mess that can only gasp his name and pull at his hair. Crying lightly, you whimper about how you were close, spurring Dick to move impossibly faster. You cum with a clench of your walls and a cry caught in your throat, and Dick joins you, hips stuttering as he spills into you with a whimper.

Dick pulls out and collapses on top of you, a soft 'oof' slipping past your lips as he does.

"So... Gotham?"

"Give me two business days to recover from you."

"Yes babe."

The flight to the Wayne Manor is a little strange to you. You keep your apartment, and Dick ends his lease. You're told you get to fly back and forth whenever necessary, and you wonder if staying at the Wayne Manor and publicly getting involved with Dick was a great idea. Yet, you don't really care. You like sketching suit designs for the family in the Batcave. You also like going through the mess of Batman's closet and looking through every single design he has ever sported. Some of them were atrocious.

You turn to stare at the person enterring the Batcave.

"Pretty girl."

"Hey." You hum, leaning back to look at Dick.

"Drawing again?"

"I got bored and ended up here looking for inspiration."

"I figured." He sits next to you on the ground. "What are you drawing?"

"I was redrawing your original outfit as Nightwing," You smile. "The disco suit that you said reminded you of your parents."

"Does it look better now?"

"Slightly?" You raise a brow at the drawing. "There could be improvements."

"Like?"

"It's too flashy," You giggle. "I like my latter design better."

"What about the red one you hid in the back of the papers?"

"Oh, god, I'm embarassed about that one." You mumble. "But you did look good in it. Didn't it help you pull? I'm sure a good chunk of people were staring at your ass."

"You bet they were." He hums. "Didn't you like staring at me in it too?"

"Yeah. Your cape as Robin got in the way too often." You deadpan. "It had to be out there."

"It looked better out."

"Definitely."

"Do you want anything to eat or drink? Alfred's upstairs preparing dinner."

"Just call me when he's ready."

You sigh as Dick presses a kiss to your cheek.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"Love you too."

#nightwing x reader #dick grayson x reader #dick x reader #grayson x reader #like look at how easy it is to tag for dick #dc x reader #if you haven't caught on: there has been an abrupt change of fandoms over the 1 month I didn't post sorry guys #☾.nsfw #☾.fics

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i9messi · 1 year

Note

hii! i haven't seen alot of people write for João Felix so i wanted to request a João Felix x Reader where reader does a prank on Felix by calling him another guy's name and maybe in the end they cuddle and Felix is lying is head on Reader's chest! It's currently 12AM for me and i was craving some Joao Felix 😭! Take care of yourself, love you!<3

Wrong name — João Félix

Word count — 742

joão's masterlist

"What did you say?"

You looked at your boyfriend, noticing that the expression on his face changed completely. He had been smiling moments before, but now he seemed confused and intrigued by the name that had come from your lips.

The thing is, you had asked him to hand you the TV remote, but you had used another name to call him. That had left him static in his place, with a frown on his beautiful face.

"Sorry, João."

"You said Nico. Who is Nico?"

"No one, I just- I got confused."

You were playing a prank on him to find out what his reaction was, you just wanted to know how he was going to react to hearing you call him by another name, and you were watching him right now. He didn’t like it at all.

"How can you get my name wrong? I’m your boyfriend."

"Sorry babe." You tried to act innocent and of course, João didn’t even believe you.

"Who’s Nico?"

"João, I just got confused for a second."

"Fine."

João got up from the coach, in a complete silence that made you realize that you had ruined everything. You didn’t think he’d take it so badly, maybe you expected him to ask a few questions, but not that he seemed offended. You also got up from the coach where you were sitting and tried to hold his hand. Your boyfriend kept walking.

"Babe, don’t get mad, it was just a mistake."

"I’m not mad."

João was so serious, it was obvious that he was angry about your supposed mistake. Hell, you didn’t expect him to be angry. Your boyfriend kept walking and you looked at his back.

"Then, why are you leaving?"

"You better go talk to Nico, whoever that guy is."

João went to the room you shared, closing the door behind him. You thought his anger would go away quickly and he would surely realize that his jealousy was silly, but he didn't return. João didn’t used to be a jealous boyfriend, he usually knew that you were in love with him and you were his. That’s why you decided to play that prank too, thinking he wouldn’t be mad at you.

As you already felt bad about what had happened, you went in search of him. João was lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. His eyes joined for a moment, until he turned his attention back to the ceiling.

"C'mon babe, we should talk." You walked by his side.

"Won’t you get confused with my name this time?"

"João... it was a prank. I wanted to see how you would react if I called you by another name. I didn’t think you would get angry."

João looked at you silently, beginning to understand that there was no one else in your life. João was your boyfriend and you loved him with all your heart, just like he loved you. Before you met him you didn’t used to believe in soulmates, until him. Now you were sure he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He was significant to you.

"But-why? It wasn’t even funnier."

"I know, I’m really sorry now. Please, babe..."

You sat up beside him in bed, joining your hands in a grip. Your voice was a much lower volume from where you laid. João stroked your hand, pleased to solve that misunderstanding.

"Could you forgive me? There is no Nico, it was just a prank. I love you and I could never mistake your name."

"It’s fine, pretty."

One way or another, João ended up lying on your chest, his ear stuck to your heart. You caressed her hair, which was completely disheveled. His arms gently came around you, securing your place. You could stay like this all day, unwilling to do anything but show your love.

His kisses trailed down your chin, leaving love bites on your neck. You felt his hot, sloppy wet kisses all over your body, especially in your lips. You had to gasp for air, but João still leaned in, eyes closed, lips parted, absolutely wanting more.

"I love you. I know I say it a lot, but I truly mean it." your boyfriend said to you, while your gazes met. "Did you love me?"

"I love you so much, and I never want to hurt you, João."

You had the best boyfriend ever.

#joao felix imagines #joao felix blurb #joao felix fluff #joao felix x reader #joao felix #joão félix #joão felix #football imagines #football player fanfic #football players #chelsea fc #chelsea #portugal

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corporatefrog · 1 year

Text

╭₊˚ ๑︰A Bit Tied Up ๑ ꒱

✧.* featuring: stan calling yn to help get human kite out of a sticky situation after a run in with professor chaos

✧.* tags: college au, comedy, superhero au

✧.* Characters: kyle broflovski, stan marsh

masterlist

“Dude, you have to just grab my hand.”

“I’m trying- bleugh- fuck!”

“You’re obviously not or else you’d be out of the tree by now.”

When Stan told me Kyle had gotten stuck in a tree during one of their ‘epic battles’ against Professor Chaos, I pictured the situation in my head. A human kite can only get stuck in a tree in so many ways after all. But the sight I was greeted with when I pulled up to PC Park was so much funnier.

He’d somehow gotten the string of the kite wrapped around his left arm and leg, trapping them against the branches. A small branch sat against his face and wacked his face with leaves whenever he moved his head. (Which worked perfectly because Kyle always had to have the last word resulting in a leave shaped mark on the side of his face) Another branch pierced his kite, leaving him as stuck in the tree as humanly possible.

The first ten minutes of my trip were, understandably, spent laughing at the predicament Kyle had gotten himself into. I mean, I did tell them to not do their superhero shit in the park. Especially after last time when Clyde had run into a family barbeque and had gotten blasted by bug spray. But no. I’m the crazy one! How could I possibly suggest that staying out of the park with an odd amount of park related superheroes would be a better idea?

So I spent the next 10 minutes after the first 10 laughing at Kyle some more. Then Stan and I began to try and pull him out of the tree. However, we underestimated the difficulty of dragging a 6’2 stubborn redhead out of a tree while said redhead throws a fit.

Kyle’s arms went limp, swinging loosely as he breathed heavily from the exertion.

“This is ridiculous.” He weakly tugged his left arm against the string but it didn’t budge. The movement shook the branch, sending the small branch flying into his face for the hundredth time that day. Kyle cursed and swiped at the branch.

I smirked up at him, biting back another wave of laughter, “Glad to see you still have your stunning analytical abilities.”

Kyle shot me a sour look. He wasn’t amused with the first 20 minutes of laughter and I had a feeling 30 minutes would be pushing it.

Beside me, Stan had backed up to take stock of the current situation. He was still in his Toolshed outfit, utility belt hanging around his waist with various power tools ready to be used against the various forces of evil which plagued South Park. Like the devious Professor Chaos that led them to this conundrum.

Yeah if ‘devious’ means a silly little guy who’s counting down the days to the Barbie movie. Then he’s the most devious motherfucker I know.

“I’m just saying-” I started.

“Yeah, like you’ve been saying this whole time.” Kyle snapped, cursing again as the branch returned for another smack. You think he’d learn to just stop talking or break the branch but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that.

I continued, not acknowledging his remark, “This situation could’ve been entirely avoided if you didn’t take this chase through the park like I told you.” Stan groaned behind me, talking while he paced around the tree in search of an easy way to release his friend.

“And like I told you, Chaos had the deed to Kenny’s house and he was going to destroy it! We had to follow him!” Stan pulled out a circle saw and held it up to the trunk of the tree, moving it back and forth to test the small saw against the large tree.

“And what good are you doing standing here with fucknuts stuck in the tree?” I asked, pointing up at Kyle who was growing more pissed off with each passing minute that he was stuck in the tree.

“HEY! Don’t call me fucknuts, dickwipe!” He snapped, the branch sound now consistently following all of his quips.

Crack.

We all went silent at the sound of the crack. Stan and I looked up, catching a glimpse of Kyle’s own shocked face before the branch holding his arm and leg captive let out another cracking noise. The branch dipped, shaking Kyle and ripping through the top of his kite. Without his back being held up, Kyle’s right side pulled towards the ground as all his weight pulled on the slowly splintering branch.

Kyle’s eyes met my own in the split second before catastrophe.

“Oh fuck.” He said before the branch broke, sending him plummeting to the ground.

Kyle collided with the ground in a pile of plastic canvas looking like a kite that was sent through a garbage disposal. He groaned, pulling his now free arm and leg away from the branch before flopping back onto the ground with a weak sigh.

A moment of silence out of respect. One…two…three…

Okay. Now we laugh. Kyle was not amused with my behavior for the next 40 minutes. I, on the other hand, found everything about the situation utterly hilarious.

#i love making fun of human kite #corporatefrog #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #south park #south park x reader #south park imagines

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noahtally-famous · 5 months

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I haven't made a tier list, like, ever bc I'm highkey worried ppl will come at me for my ships but fuck it we ball

some explanations/highlights below the cut!

emwayne = the best friends of rajbow getting together?? hell yeah (bowie and emma will always be best friends to me). wayne would help emma come into her growth while making sure she stays silly, I love them sm

I think the rest of the first-tier ships are pretty self-explanatory?? if you want me to (ramble) talk abt any of them lmk!

I thought of caleb/chase (calase? chaleb?) out of nowhere one bright sunny morning and they've been a concept in my head ever since. I find it funny that I hc the idea of caleb being this kitten lover who also works hard to get where he stands trying not to use his looks as an advantage, while chase is this laidback thrillseeker, pet-store destroyer, who would totally do stuff recklessly unlike caleb's more methodical approaches. it'd aggravate caleb so so much, like what if chase is the only person that he comes close to snapping at lmao I genuinely can talk abt them all day but I digress

ripaxel is actually interesting--I'm an axelle truther through and through but axel can be bi or pan or anything in between, y'know. plus their dynamic is kinda funny, like kickass girl x alpha-male wannabe

I adore rajbow, but bowie x caleb is one of the ships I ironically don't mind seeing on my dash; it's interesting to think abt how things would've gone if they'd gotten together

(speaking of which, raj x caleb was one of the ships on the list but I didn't add it, though it would've been interesting as well to imagine like rajbow would still be endgame but if caleb was raj's gay awakening without raj even realizing)

raynebow, admit it or not, would be an awesome dynamic. emwayne is on top for me, but these three would be pretty cool together, like rajbow already being a thing and then wayne coming into his own sexuality realization lmao for me, wayne is either the classic straight best friend or a bisexual mess, there's no in between

the concept of what's going on between priya and caleb currently is what I like more than the ship itself; I like the idea of priya having a crush (though her character derailment for it is a bit annoying smh) while caleb is just genuinely doing this for an alliance lmao (if caleb does grow feelings for priya in the process--which I don't doubt could happen, it's total drama after all, that'd be even funnier)

bowie & chase are the reluctant exasperated and annoyed sibling & feral sibling dynamic for me. like chase does smth stupid (not a hard thing to do) and bowie's genuinely stunned whenever it actually seems to work (I'm thinking abt ep1 of s2 here lmaoo)

bowie & emma weren't mentioned as one of the pairings, for obvious reasons, but them as besties fr and I really wanted them to rekindle their friendship 😔

mk using caleb to get ahead of the game in tiny details (climbing on his back, etc etc) is so fucking funny, they're on the platonic tier for me simply bc of that. and caleb would be so oblivious lmfaoo

waaay before when s1 hadn't come out and ppl speculated on priya & chase being the Main Couple (and then everything went to shit after), I've switched trains in regards to that; them as a platonic friends duo would be crazy. kickass girl who can do anything (except feelings) & dumbass guy who does stupid impulsive shit for thrills (and cannot do feelings); they'd both fumble at romance shit and rant abt it while making it seem like they have it under control, it'd be wack; she would hate him for doing stupid shit and making them lose challenges, he'd talk shit abt "taking risks" and whatnot, and she'd be like "I'll smash my water bottle over your head, that's a risk I want to take rn!!" fr priya would beat his ass (and maybe save his ass if they ever reach that point of their dynamic lmaoo)

I think that's all I need to say! also I didn't add all of the ships on the list mostly bc idk much abt them or their dynamics

#total drama #noahtally-famous #kit stuff #td 2023 #total drama 2023 #td spoilers #im not tagging all those ships

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rayisalive · 1 year

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RAY OMG HI IT’S DIAMOND ANON WHATSUP

So I read your silly little y/n slander fic and I was like ‘this is the funniest thing I’ve read it would be even funnier if jamil was there’

So here I am requesting Jamil Viper version of that, with whatever other character you want (not Tr*y though-) because they’re all great

Take all the time you need!! Take breaks and drink water and don’t drink windex <33 /p

★A/N: HI DIAMOND ANON!! I’m happy that you liked it hh- I guess it’s time for Y/N’s antics in Scarabia.

I wrote this weirdly quickly I’m a bit concerned for myself-

Everything in here is a joke, do not take it seriously.

★Includes: Fem!reader, Jamil and Kalim x reader

★Context: Y/N’s antics in Scarabia! How will her annoying little self fare?

★Tag.List: @yinenovica @snek-disappearedagain

←Valentines Fic(2023) Y/N vs The TWST Universe→

My lego brick self was nearly lost in the sand as I entered Scarabia.

The heat beat me like I was a sandwich in a waffle maker as I trudged through the sand, making my way towards the giant castle.

Its gold pillars shone brighter than my future as I entered. The sand path ended at the entrance as I was finally able to climb out of the sand and onto the floor.

As I walked through the halls I could see the dormmembers watch me. They were surely curious as to why I was there.

The pressure soon got to my head as I yelled out, “Why do you hate me so much?!”

The students looked at me, curious to what I was saying.

“Not everything-” the student began to speak until I interrupted them.

“I don’t care if I’m not like other girls, maybe I don’t wear makeup and maybe my closet is like a cartoon side charact-”

“You don’t even go to this school, why would we not look at you??”

I shot a glare at the student, I obviously go to this school as once again as a wattpad Y/N I can break the laws of every fictional world.

My face grew redder than the artificial apple candy stores sell as I rushed away, ignoring the others' protests.

The water was nearly as blue as my orbeez as I stared into the fountain.

I looked around making sure no one was around. After knowing everyone was off doing something else, I opened my mouth, singing at the top of my lungs.

The words of Fight Song rang through the dorm like a bullfrog had their vocal cords strung by a five year old as I sang my heart out, not paying attention to the approaching figure behind me.

Upon tapping my shoulders I stopped my singing to see who had interrupted me, only to be met by none other than Kalim Al-Asim, housewarden of Scarabia and firstborn to a well-respected family in the Scalding Sands.

“Hey, you’re Y/N right?”

“Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- Y- *insert more Y’s* Yes, why?”

“I was wondering what you’re doing here, I don’t remember seeing you at the robe ceremony, plus I thought this was an all-boys school, no matter! Do you want to stay for the feast tonight?”

His voice was welcoming with a bright smile on his face, washing my worries away. It was at that moment, oh that poor boy, he was in love with me. Why else would he invite me to dinner as if just being nice doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.

Who would have assumed someone such as him would want to be with someone like me? With my 300 ft long hair and height smaller than a roach, a miracle how I caught his attention really.

Before I could respond however another figure ran up to Kalim. The person happened to be Jamil Viper, vice-housewarden of Scarabia.

“Kalim!” He yelled, “You can’t invite her, she’s wanted by the school!”

As the words left his mouth the realization hit my brain like I was a target and the words were an arrow.

Jamil hadn’t wanted me to come to dinner because he knew that Kalim had loved me but he had too! And totally not because I’m not supposed to be at the school-

“Oh but Jamil, she's already here in Scarabia I’m sure it’s not a problem.”

“Kalim, no, plus you just met her! You can’t invite someone you just met.”

That’s when I interjected, letting my voice be heard, “He’s right Kalim, I know we just met but you can’t be in love with me, it’s just not possible.”

“What?” The white haired boy asked, a look of confusion in his ruby red orbeez. “I’m not in love Y/N, I was just trying to be ni-”

“Oh stop fighting over me,” I interrupted, making my smaller than a prokaryote self be seen, “I can’t choose between you two, I need time.”

The two boys looked at me, not understanding a thing I said.

“What?” asked Jamil, looking at me as if I was a possum with fairy wings.

Before I could answer, faculty barged in, running towards me.

“You don’t go to this school stop coming here!” they yelled, attempting to catch me.

I quickly ran away, out of Scarabia and back to my house.

Perhaps I’ll be able to choose someone in my imaginary love triangle that only exists in my head because I think everyone is in love with me.

©rayisalive 9/16/22 None of my work is to be translated, plagiarized, or reposted without my knowledge. If I inspired you be sure to tag me so I can check it out!

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zukkacore · 1 year

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This is gonna start off as kinda goofy silly but bear with me but the thing abt Togami and Mukuro is that in my mind the way the friend groups split up during the lost two nondespair years is that Junko can basically get along w/ anyone bc that’s her secret sauce so while she makes it her business to drift in an out of any social circle in my heart I do think her home base is converging with the other gay bitches whose personality is generally having disdain for the other gay bitches and setting themselves apart because of it i.e. Celeste and Togami. They are the fag, the goth girl, and the Cookie Monster pj girl walking the mile in PE.

Naturally Mukuro tags along passively and quietly w Junko where ever she goes & Togami is happy to ignore her at first and generally dismiss her as Junko’s weird sullen sister. & yes canonically Mukuro’s alienation from her classmates is part of why she feels driven to sink the cost and stay loyal to her sister despite her trepidation toward The Plan, but also like.

In the funnier version of events in my head I do think Togami and Mukuro could form a silent tenuous allyship because they’re literally just always around each other, in a way of being extremely tight lipped and privately grateful there’s at least one person here not trying to impose on my business or try to get me to be vulnerable. This guy gets the vision. Best friend I ever had.

The thing is that they’re a neat dichotomy because her trauma tanked her self esteem and view of her own personhood and his gave him a god complex and she and Junko struggled w poverty in their childhood while he is a billionaire heir and hence you would think they would not work as friends but once we and they realize that’s an awful nice dichotomy you got there, its like. It would be a shame if something were to lie outside of it.

And the thing that lies outside of it is that they were the weaker dog (“make two dogs fight, punish the weaker dog”) & have tried desperately to do something to overcome that. He sort of did, or at least he thinks he overcome being the weaker dog bc he “won” meanwhile whatever Mukuro has not stopped seeing herself as the weaker dog, no matter what she did to escape or distinguish herself didn’t matter in the end bc she’s still following orders. The thing abt them is that what lies outside the dichotomy is that they’re sunkest in the sunk cost fallacy. I invested the most, I endured the most, and it cost me the most and therefore I am special. He can’t opt out of this system of being pit against other dogs & she can’t turn against her sister bc he could be the top inheritor in a system of exploitation or be the person being exploited and she is about to aid in the end of the world or be ended along with everyone else. Which side do you want to be on? Theres a banquet and anyone who is not at the table in on the menu. Idk I just relate to that Goya painting of Saturn devouring his children for some reason.

There is something oddly sweet abt DR:S in which she in disguise badgers him into throwing a party at his private beach inviting all their classmates. & when he tries to back out of it in his typical way (fine you can throw a party but I would never go because I have better things to do obviously bc I’m just sooo busy and important) she insists he has to be there too. She’d never be so vocal and bold but in her attempt to perform Junko who is vocal and bold and unabashed abt what she wants she is forced to reveal now what SHE wants. He caves so easily, too. It’s technically not canon but it’s so revealing. What if we were all just friends hanging out on a beach. No fame no obligations no end of the world. This is the life I long for.

#shut up janelle #this is somewhat adjacent to my joke post abt Hiro and mukuro being proxy siblings #mukuro ikusaba #byakuya togami #they’re like: what if we were known for lying and barely knew ourselves #ikugami #I will single-handedly fill this tag I swear

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stormyoceans · 1 year

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NOTHING is funnier than puentalay's first two meetings. like you are a celeb after a long flight, you still need to go to work. you are calmly washing hands in airport's bathroom when suddenly a cutie calls your attention to himself. puen was not saying much but he was looking at talay like 'yeah sure i believe that you are not my fan' and then he looked at this hat very thoroughly and decided he likes him enough already to wear his gift and to let him adjust it on his head with his pissy hands. and don't let me start to talk about the way they almost kissed, i think puen's fanclub would block all talay's socials if they knew about it (because he kinda invaded their idol's privacy...). but still puen didn't even pushed him away. if he didn't need to work who knew what would happen lmaooo and the way talay looked at him. are you sure you are not his fan (you seem like a fan of his sexiness at least). okay all good talay is gay and a very handsome man called him cute i understand. so about their second meeting...

do we think puen saw talay and his first thought was 'universe brought us together'? because yknow he's such romantic. and then he unleashed his full flirting potential in front of everyone because I can't even look at the way he pressed on talay's shoulder forcing him to lie down and brought their faces very close without covering my face with my hands and peaking at them through my fingers. very professional technics puen who taught you that???

i think it would be so funny if one day they'll drink with gyo and joe and tup and tou and somehow their first meeting brought up and they start bicker because puen says something like 'you did this gift for me, you were so smitten' and talay's like 'you let me touch you with unwashed hands' and their friends groaning and asking them to shut up

they were unhinged from the very start is what i want to say

MESSAGES THAT COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE YOU CONTEMPLATE JUST HOW DEEPLY PROFOUNDLY UNIQUELY TERRIBLY COCAINELY SICKLY INSANELY DERANGED THIS SHOW TRULY IS

LITERALLY YOU’RE SO RIGHT ANON THAT’S THE FUNNIEST MOST ICONICLY UNHINGED MEET CUTE EVER SHOWN ON TELEVISION talay is standing in that bathroom with his pee hands telling a famous actors that he has a big head and puen is just giggling twirling his hair kicking his feet letting this complete stranger he just met push and pull his head around which somehow ends up with the two of them almost accidentally kissing. they spend the next 10 seconds just staring at each other inappropriately close while puen gives his best impression of sexy sultry smouldering look and talay is like 👁️👄👁️🏳️‍🌈❓

and then you have talay exhibiting the most behavior as he calls puen back just to specify that HE is the cute person who drew the alpaca, and when puen does indeed call him cute again, talay stares after him with such a dazed expression on his face that he has to slap himself out of it AND HIS HANDS ARE STILL PISSY BECAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY BEING WHIPPED FOR PUEN TO REMEMBER THAT CRUCIAL LITTLE DETAIL. the sheer audacity he has to look gyo's in the eyes and tell her that he's not puen's fan like her when puen calling him cute has him moving like a clown....... something tells me he omitted the pee hands when he recounted the meeting to her SO I HOPE THIS COMES BACK TO HAUNT HIM WHEN PUEN INNOCENTLY TELLS THEIR FRIENDS

i would actually LOVE to see puen and talay bringing up their first meeting and bickering over who was more smitten (THE ANSWER IS BOTH OF THEM) and puen recognizing talay not only as the cute guy with pee hands that gave him the bucket hat in an airport bathroom but also as the hot corpse who could not stay still for a single take and who made him smile with his silliness!!!! AND YOU GET ME SO MUCH ANON HIDING MY FACE INTO MY HANDS AND PEAKING THROUGH MY FINGERS IS EXACTLY HOW I WATCH THIS SCENE TOO. puen really was demonstrating such incredibly professional techniques like pushing talay back on the ground by his shoulder, moving his arm out of the way, getting one inch close to his face, fixing his hair, telling him to close his eyes, gently brushing invisible dust from his face...... MEANWHILE TALAY IS JUST LYING THERE FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE AND WILLING A HARD ON AWAY AND GIVING EVEN MORE 🏳️‍🌈❓❓❓❓❓ LOOKS. ALL OF THIS IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE CREW OF PEOPLE I MAY ADD

THE WAY WE'RE BARELY TEN MINUTES INTO THE SHOW AND THEY'RE ALREADY GIVING THE MOST EMOTIONALLY CHARGED UNHINGED ENERGIES EVER PUT TO FILM WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THAT THINGS WOULD ONLY GET EVEN MORE INSANE FROM HERE

#INSANE SHOW WRITTEN PRODUCED AND ACTED BY INSANE PEOPLE FOR INSANE PEOPLE ONLY!!!!!!!#GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧#THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE ANON IT MADE ME BOTH LAUGH AND SCREAM SO MUCH #vice versa #puentalay #m: ask

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clarks-letterman · 5 months

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Wally anon: Huh, that's interesting to me cause I have not run into that much, but I guess that's cause I mostly keep tabs on Harringrove circles fhdjd. Entitled fans of shit like that are annoying as hell, though. Even if I can appreciate Steddie when the time is right, let's be entirely honest wth ourselves that Joseph Quinn is the main reason Eddie managed to be as successful as he was cause as soon as that man showed up, he was THE. most blatant of the "Well, THEY'RE gonna die" ST characters, so it was difficult to be wholly invested. But I can see why you're torn on Steve's survival with this context. I feel similarly about h o w forced S4 tried to throw him & Nancy back together when it's like...they are in totally different places in their lives rn & if other characters have to tell us they're into each other a thousand times instead of...showing the chemistry, it don't hold up under scrutiny. ❌️

Oh, yeah, that I agree with. I meant he wouldn't react in a creepy way. But he'd be flustered for s u r e. 👍

lollllll yup @ thinking about raising the grade. He would fully be into the fantasy if he was already that distracted & looking for relief & then get self-conscious the next time he went to class cause he couldn't help but think about it. He is a committed one that way. The really part is imagining him trying the book/backpack strategy cause Wally/Milo is tall as hell, so there's no way it would look natural with either, especially rushing for privacy. 😭

Exactlyyyy. The reader thinking they're crazy & everything before seeing him in full glory of what he's specifically doing at whatever place in the school he's doing it & them not knowing what to do because it's like ???? but also 🥴 Apologies? if this ends up inspiring you to write something else haha (although also not cause more Wally/Milo >>>>).

(Also: very appreciated you getting silly with it. There's a time & place for it, but this is one of those occasions.)

For real!! I knew he was gonna die from the first episode. Like, was it that surprising? It’s the 4/5 season and the cast is already pretty full, he’s definitely not making it to season five😂 Joseph has charm but the way he played him was just a big red flag about Eddie’s short term stay…

Oh, believe me, this is giving me the motivation to write Wally/Ryan/Zed/Milo any one of his roles and more 😩 don’t apologize for that i’m so serious

Wally definitely isnt creepy, just a confused lil guy (big guy tho because Milo is 6’3 🫣… did someone call for some size difference? a giant?) stuck in a time where he had to be stereotypical. I mean, his whole character in season 1 is about how he was expected to do all these things when he didn’t actually one to do them to begin with. Or, he wanted to try them, found out it didn’t make him happy, and couldn’t move on to try something else. I forget how he phrased it in the show.

I WAS PICTURING THAT😭 I used Jacob Elordi’s height when he’s carrying a backpack/textbook in euphoria as a reference in my head because he’s like 2 inches taller than Milo, and… yeah it looks silly😭 But it’s a good type of silly, because he has the charm to play it off in a comedic way before he gets down to the serious business.

We fr think we’re hearing things, maybe high school is making you delusional lmao. The lack of sleep, stress, something except that it’s a real thing happening in front of you. But it’s totally real. And it’s even funnier if you guys made eye contact but he doesn’t think you actually are looking at him because no one’s seen him before, so you think he doesn’t care and it one brave mfer for doing it💀 (<- him)

#wally clark x male reader #wally clark x you #wally clark

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nerdyenby · 1 year

Text

Orange time :D I’m watching Callum

Pregame

HBomb94 now wanted for murder, good for him ig

“That’s it, I’m taking matters into my own hands” terrifying, thanks Pete

Why is Callum talking about the availability of drugs in the United Kingdom???

I don’t even know how many people are in this call but all of them are bullying Callum lmao

“Habomba!!!” “It wasn’t me” “It says it was you!” “It’s a lie” “oh, sorry” them <333

Tubbo showing up and causing chaos is just as funny the second time

Tubbo realizing it’s May is even funnier the second time, I’m losing it

“Tubbo’s gone now” he’s freaking dead

Scott is such a guy, he has the intimidation factor while still being irrevocably likable

“That was the most eventful pre-MCC I’ve ever had” fr, I loved it so much

Tubbo gave Callum his stream key 😭😭😭

“Gotta be honest, I need your friendship more than I need $5k” and everyone going ‘um actually…’ 😂

Sausage asking to be sand daddy just because he wants to be called “daddy” 😂😂😂

WHAT is Shane and Callum’s dynamic here /pos

Rocket Spleef

Sausage’s explanation of his understanding isn’t wrong but it just sounds so off lol

Them just slandering all the other Minecraft events is so real, I’m sure they’re great but they’ll never be MCC <333

Everything Kara says gives Callum a flashback lol

Callum popped off!!

The MCC meta of alcohol 😂😂😂

The way the “reafy” predicting who won the game was actualy accurate

The way I didn’t think of Sausage and Callum as being in the same sphere but they have nearly the same friend group

We love them appreciating the lore :))

TGTTOSAWAF

Callum throwing his chicken in the middle being the deciding vote lmao

“I got 7th, thanks Shane” so true

Callum did so good for having never seen the map before

Yo Sausage!!!!

Tgttosawaf worst game real, it’s still good but comparatively it’s the least enjoyable

Sausage improving every round my beloved <333

Kara plotting revenge, as she should

Shane top three every time??? He’s inshane!!

When you put on the suit (purpled skin) you take on a burden greater than yourself (getting targeted)

Kara and Sausage noooooo

Your vote matters, Shane, cmon

Parkour Warrior

Graphic appreciation is so based <333

Shane’s keyboard 😭😭😭

The Hannah Montana movie reference lol

Whatever the heck Shane and Callum’s dynamic is, it’s everything

I know I’ve heard Sausage’s normal voice before but it caught me so off guard there lmao

It’s disgusting how easy this is for Callum

Finally, someone talking about the bees

HES DISGUSTING!!! /pos

HES TOO GOOD AT THE GAME!!!!

Kara 😂

The points are a lil silly, we move

Grid runners is not skippable, how dare you

Parkour Tag

Callum chickening out 😂😂😂

Sausage is giving such good comms!!

Nevermind lol

It sure is… going!!

Gosh darn it, when you see a “biggest comeback” breakdown blame Shane and Callum

I will NOT stand for this gr slander

Grid Runners

It’s not pronounced “boy,” there’s a u there for a reason lol

They’re killing it!!!

Kara accidentally cheating is killing me 😂

Those prison comms!!!!

First in Uppies!!!

“We’re so smart and big brain and maybe handsome” “We’re so handsome” so true sausage :))

One of my favorite things coming out of this MCC is everyone counting on the builders to know how to use scaffolding and them just saying “no, it SUCKS”

Consistency pog

Ok yeah, I just do not understand grid scoring

Callum’s predictions only take Ls

Kara and Shane having banger opinions

Meltdown

Shane leaking the script, rip

They played that so well!!

Callum jumping right into the lava lol

Head pat exchange at Vidcon Paris fr

Blue just appearing behind them was terrifying

Kara popping off!!!

Shane’s Kermit impression my beloved

Stay with the team Callum 😭😭😭

Purpled popping off

Survival Games

They just be makin’ sounds, so based of them tbh

“Your choice, you know I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth” Callum and Shane sure are dudes, pals even

HOW did Callum make it out of that alive lmao

“We were tenth and we’re not tenth anymore” “There’s still time, king!!” so true

Sands of Time

Shane stopping everything to say hi HBomb, so based

Callum they/them truthing Kara??

Callum “All Things MCC” PK didn’t know there’s a grace period with the sand timer? L /lh

How is he so bad at sot

I love Callum, I swear, he’s just so easy to make fun of

Sausage has such good comms for a first time sand keeper :))

They have so much sand what the heck

It is physically painful how many times Callum has looked directly at that one piece of sand

I love all the field trips this MCC, so many groups traveling together :D

The carpet trails in this blu path are insane, I’d love to study it under a microscope /pos

“Scott about to have to pay all the shipping to Spain” that’s such a good point actually, though I think shipping to America is probably more lol

Sausage did amazing!!! We love his team hyping him up :)))

Dodgebolt

I love seeing everyone rooting for red :D

That is just… not true, Kara 😂😂😂

So true Callum, the void hole in the merch store was peak mcm energy

Sausage for mcc spanish team 2k23

TIL Sausage was Cuban, though tbf I’ve never watched him before and I thought he was from Spain for some reason

This team was so fun :)))

Capitan is a menace /pos

Sausage’s Oli impression 😂

The game ended and they all collectively lost their minds, as they should

CALLUM SMACKTALKING GRID RUNNERS?!??

Shane and Callum sending Tubbo their stream keys and asking Scott if he’d do the same and his response being “God no”

#mcc 31 #mc championship #callum cpk #seapeekay #kara corvus #firebreathman #mythicalsausage #nerdy’s mcc reactions #cw caps

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itsrottenwork · 1 year

Note

Hiii mj!! Secret Santa here!! Happy Tuesday (or Wednesday. Time zones are weird lol)!! 🥳✨

Oooo, April sounds like a good time of year to travel!! If I can remember to do so, I’ll send a message cause I would love to see the sights!! At the very least, you have someone who recognizes the areas you will be visiting!! Can’t get lost that way!

The boomerang’s very pretty!! The colors compliment each other very well!!

I believe you 100%!! Sometimes, you just have to be there in order to understand the joke that was being told at the time!! My college friends and I have so many inside jokes that we probably look insane when we all go out together lol. Also, the video you sent the last time was great!! The mom who wrote the article really went all out stating that millennials are the reason why mayonnaise, out of all the condiments, is going extinct just because her daughter doesn’t like mayo? Honestly, mood lol. His commentary made it so much funnier!! I think I’m gonna have to do a deep dive of his other videos if this is the kind of content he makes on a regular basis!!

Speed Round Questions!! Are you a coffee or a tea person? When I was younger, I was neither!! But now, I’ve grown to have an appreciation for the two in different scenarios!! But if I had to choose, it’d be coffee (never black coffee tho!!). Do you know any other languages? If not, what would you like to learn?! What do you enjoy doing on a rainy day? I tend to just stay in bed and watch a comforting tv show/movie. Do you have a favorite number? Very silly question lol. Mine’s 20. 🎄✨

it probably will be!! mostly it's just about finding a time that's between everyone's academic calendars hehe. and thank you for your compliments!! it was meant to be very traditional coloring and design.

unfortunately I don't think he has any other videos like that, I think it was just a one off thing!! I would've loved if it was a series as well, but it definitely makes the one video more memorable this way.

speed round answers!!

coffee or tea: tea, 100%, I did like tea as a kid although as I grew up I definitely liked it more, but I'm not a coffee drinker (even though I'm a uni student lol)

languages: not really, no. I did latin in high school, but that was a long time ago. I did a semester of russian (also several years ago) and a semester of french but that doesn't count because I learned nothing, I remember more russian than french. technically speaking I have to some degree also studied hebrew and japanese, but not in a formal enough context to make progress, and I have a >1K duolingo streak for welsh, but to say that I know any of these languages is giving me wayyy too much credit. I just don't have the head for languages unfortunately, even though I really wish I did. do you know any other languages?

rainy day: I love rain!! I grew up in a very rainy climate, so a little drizzle is very much the norm for me. if I don't have anything I need to be presentable for later, I enjoy walking around honestly, feel the rain on your skin and whatnot, but if it's heavier rain or I have to avoid getting drenched for some reason, it's just nice to sit and watch/listen to, especially if there's thunder and lightning, I love counting the distance away that the lightning struck

favorite number: not really? 4 is nice and I dislike 7 but not for any good reason

#txt #ask #anon #holiday pals 2022

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pixelleyfromtheorangeapp · 1 year

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"I tried to let you go. I knew I had to, because if I didn't, I'm pretty sure I could have gone insane."

Genre: angst, reader-insert

Tw: death

Because... I Loved You (Choi Beomgyu)

___________________________________________

(Beomgyu's POV)

Well...

What was I to expect?

When the days passed, the weeks, months, and even after a whole two years went by, nothing... changed at all.

I was still stuck in this grey state. And there was nothing I could do.

And yet? You... changed. Even more than me.

Well, maybe not "changed". You definitely got better. Because there you were, smiling and laughing like you got over us so quickly.

It's only been two years...

Well, maybe two years can't really be considered an "only". Not for you, I guess. But maybe it could just be me thinking that, too.

You know what makes it even funnier?

I wasn't even that far away, watching you. Yet, you never even turned to my direction. Not even a single glance. Should I be hurt? Maybe not. But it does feel that way.

You returned to the way you were before after such a short time. Young. Naive... In love.

I watched as you turned to the man beside you, your smile the brightest I've ever seen. Just like before, the smile that made me fall head over heels for you.

It almost feels surreal. The sun was shining bright, the weather was perfect, and you were there. Yet on my side, it was the complete opposite.

Maybe I shouldn't have come here. Lest the memories start coming back again.

I mean, they did... already. And it only took me a few more moments before I finally looked away from where you were, turning to leave, and finally walking to my next destination...

Indeed, the weather was perfect.

And the leaves of the trees surrounding the field rustled and swayed along with the calm wind.

And I stood there, looking down at the small concrete structure stood before me.

The name carved onto it seemed to almost look back at me, but I couldn't tell what it felt about my presence.

Was it happy? Was it sad? Excited that I had come back?... Would it have ever even wanted that I had come back?

I knelt down infront of it, eventually, one of my knees on the grass as I continued looking at the stone figure.

"I bet you were waiting for me."

Is what I was supposed to say when I opened my mouth.

But nothing came out, and instead, those same exact words came from someone else. And it was someone from behind me.

My eyes widened, and I turned my head around to face the visitor. And to my surprise... it was you.

"...Y/N?"

Yet again, it's almost as if you didn't see me. And instead, you had your eyes on the stone figure. Lilies rested in your arms, and a small smile adorned your face as you approached. And even as you were just kneeling beside me now, still, you seemed unaware of my presence.

"Did I take too long? ... Sorry, I was... busy with a lot of things." You spoke, placing the lilies gently infront of the stone. Then you continued looking at it, like you were talking to it, like an old friend you haven't seen in years...

Two years, to be exact.

"It must have been hard, huh? Being all alone, having no one there to help you. I wish... I honestly wish I was there, too, but I'm betting..." A bitter laugh escaped you as you shook your head. Like the thought was silly to you, and yet, the tears glistening in your eyes seemed to say the opposite. "I bet you would have just told me to stay out of it again."

I watched. I watched as you continued to talk. As you continued to remember the good old days and catch up on the things I could have missed. And talk about the future... The future which... we were supposed to share.

And you laughed, like you did just moments ago when I saw you. But your smile was brighter this time, just like when you were with me before.

"You know, I knew... Of course, you probably would have wanted that for me, too," you spoke, eventually. And I, for some reason, already knew what you were going to say. "It was hard at first, but I tried to let you go... I knew I had to, because if I didn't. I'm pretty sure I could have gone insane. That's... that's honestly what I felt."

The tears hiding in your eyes finally spilled. I raised my hand to wipe them, but then I remembered that I couldn't. So instead, I just watched, again.

And once again, you laughed bitterly, hanging your head and wiping your tears away this time. "You know, I really missed you. And at first, I really didn't want to move on from you becauss it just felt... It just felt wrong, you know?! But I did... And I hoped that, you know, you'd be happy for me, too. I mean... you are, aren't you?"

I just watched... but I knew you were waiting for a response of some sort...

I knew it was wrong, but I just wanted to let you know...

That it was okay. That you're good to go. I'm not gonna make you hold on anymore.

I brought my face closer to you, ever so slowly. Until I was about an inch away, and I stopped, soon blowing abruptly at that loose strand of hair hanging infront of right eye.

It moves, and you look at it. And that small smile from earlier returns. "Thank you... I knew you'd understand."

"I have to, of course."

You stood up, and you look at the stone again while I followed your movement with my gaze. "So, I'll see you some time later, again?" you ask, as if excited to return.

"Of course. I'll be waiting here, always."

Then your brightest smile returned. And the wind came and played with your hair. And I watched, as you spoke, with your tear-stained face and your beightest smile."You'll always be my first love, Choi Beomgyu."

"And you'll be mine."

And then you left. And once again, I just watched.

Of course, I had to let you go, too. I had to let you live on. I had to let you find happiness again.

Because after all this time, I still cared about you more.

Because, I loved you.

#txt imagines #txt #tomorrow x together #imagine #fanfic #txt fanfic #reader insert #angst #txt angst #beomgyu #choi beomgyu

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alexch · 2 years

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How many Avengers can dance on the head of a pin?

I used to care about time travel continuity. I still do, but fortunately I have now developed a mental "TIME TRAVEL RULES" switch I can flip at will. The two settings are: (A) logical, (B) narrative. Only a few movies/series have even attempted (A), and most failed. But the vast majority of stories with time travel are in Category B, where the solution to every paradox is "because it was funnier that way"(*).

Avengers: Endgame is clearly in Category B since when testing the time suit, Ant Man turned into a baby with all his adult memories, which is something that can never ever ever ever ever happen in Category A. (Not to mention that multiversal variants now exist with identical phenotypes even though we know that changing *any* event has a very good chance of changing the DNA of *every* person born after that moment across the entire planet.)

So as much as I enjoy picking at continuity scabs, I know it's all just like medieval theology: rationally iterating the implications of something based on magic can never make it rational.

My head canon: Steve changed the timeline, did everything y'all think he should have done with Bucky and Zola, bought IBM stock in 1945, became a billionaire, bought Apple stock in 1985, became a trillionaire, then hired Variant Tony and Variant Hank Pym to build a magic timeline transporterator that sent him back to that bench in 2025.

Or he really did stay in the main timeline, out of sight, because he knew that changing anything would lead to one of the 14M timelines that Dr. Strange saw where Thanos won and nonillions of people died forever and even saving Bucky in 1945 wasn't worth that risk.

Whatever, man. They're just going to retcon it in the next Disney+ series anyway.

(*) funnier, or sadder, or more dramatic, or whatever, based on whatever goofy storytelling system we all have hardwired in our silly monkey brains, which leads to shit like Interstellar's "Love is a force of nature" or Looper's "instant amputation is rad" or countless other illogical plot lines based on the folk physics of souls and vibes

P.S. Bold prediction: all this Phase 4 multiversery will end up with an *in-MCU* explanation that their universes are run by narrative physics, formed by interaction with *us*, the writers and audience on Earth Prime, and that when She-Hulk and Deadpool break the fourth wall they are talking to *real world* us and that our goofy folk physics expectations are controlling their in-universe worlds. Which explains why there's lots of Spider-Men and Lokis of different ages and powersets and bodies and why Bruce feels like "a completely different person now -- literally" and why Wanda's 2025 neighbor looks exactly like 1970s Quicksilver and...

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multifandomfanficss · 2 years

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No, Stupid. I Like You.

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Male!Reader

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Request: “Adrian with a crush on Gn-reader(maybe he/him pronouns? Not necessary tho!) whos playful/friendly and loves bouncing off of Chris and Adrian's jokes on missions to always annoy the others? Although reader might get on Chris (and sometimes Adrian)s asses when being dicks to the other members but other then that they get along super well with Chris and Adrian gets a bit jealous sometimes after a while? Maybe esp after readers picked up on getting "playfully" flirty with Adrian on missions. (doesn't have to be a serious jealousy maybe the silly jealousy where he returns the flirting in an over exaggerated but sweet way to get reader to "like him more" then Chris. HFKSJFK) plus Adrian probs likes seeing reader blush”

Warnings: Cannon Typical Violence, Implied/Mentions of Smut (No Real Smut)

A/N: I’m sorry this took me a lot longer to get to than I thought it would. This is my first fic with a male reader, so please let me know if I made any typos! I really hope I got this to be somewhat what you were looking for. I hope you enjoy!! ❤️

“The Flash can jerk off so fast his jizz shoots out at the speed of lightening. That shit whizzes faster than a bullet.” Chris informs you of yet again another impossible superhero fact. You and Adrian both laugh.

“No, way! Death by jizz!” Adrian exclaims.

“Honestly, like, is there a better way to go?” You laugh.

“I don’t know. Maybe we can test the theory later. You, me, a bottle of whisky, and some weed?” Chris suggests. You roll your eyes and laugh.

“Yeah, okay.” You say sarcastically, laughing again.

“He totally digs me.” Chris whispers to Adrian, loud enough for you to hear. You start to notice Adrian’s expression change as you continue to laugh. Chris slings a bag over his shoulder and heads out to the van.

“I didn’t think it was that funny.” Adrian says under his breath.

“Huh?” You ask, turning to Adrian.

“I said: I didn’t think it was that funny.” He repeats himself, clearer.

“Oh, come on. He’s just being stupid. The Flash totally does’t jizz faster than a bullet.” You say, slinging a bag over your shoulder, walking to join Chris, completely missing the point.

After a successful mission, you head back to the van, covered in blood, none of it your own.

“What you did out there was really cool!” Chris comments. You start to giggle with excitement. Adrian immediately stiffens.

“Yeah, you looked so hot when you chopped that guy’s head off with my sword!” Adrian adds. Did he just call you hot? Your face begins to grow red.

“And the thought that you did it with my sword? It looks so good in your hands.” He just keeps rambling on. You stay dead silent, unable to form words. You just smile and nod, hoping the blush on your face isn’t as red hot as you feel it is. After a while Economos turns up the music to drown out Adrian’s rambling and the team has one of their famous dance sessions.

As soon as the van parks you run out and up to the bathroom, looking for a bit of privacy for a moment to collect your thoughts and calm yourself.

“Was Adrian just flirting with me?” You whisper to yourself as you clean some of the blood off your face. The thought was exciting, but it made you so nervous. Did he know how you felt about him?

Meanwhile while you were inside cleaning blood off your face, Adrian and Leota were in the van having a conversation.

“Why do you look so disappointed?” She asks him.

“Whenever Chris flirts with (Y/N), he’s the funniest guy in the world and he’s perfect, but when I flirt with him he gets all quiet and doesn’t laugh at me at all and I personally think I’m a lot funnier-don’ttellChrisIsaidthat.” He says the last part so quickly it’s like the words just run together.

“And it’s not fair because I like totally called dibs and he doesn’t even know I exist.” Adrian adds. Leota laughs.

“What so funny?” He asks.

“He doesn’t like Chris. He likes you.” She confirms.

“Then why does he act like that?” Adrian ponders.

“He’s blushing. It’s because he’s flustered.” She laughs again.

“Oh.” Adrian says before going inside and heading up to the bathroom door. He gives it a knock.

“(Y/N)?” He calls for you. Your breath catches in your throat.

“Yeah?” You ask.

“Can I come in? Like obviously not if you’re on the toilet, but if you’re just sitting in there, can I come in?” He asks. You laugh, opening the door. You continue to wipe your face with a wash cloth in front of the mirror.

“I like you.” He blurts out. You watch your eyes pop out of your head through the mirror as he says it.

“You what?” You ask.

“I like you. You missed a spot.” He says, taking the wash cloth from you, wiping underneath your chin.

“As like…a friend?” You ask. You don’t want to get your hopes up.

“No, like a boyfriend. I thought we were on the same page when Leota told me you liked me.” He says very nonchalantly.

“She told you what?!” You raise your voice.

“Did she lie? Is everybody fucking with me again?” He asks, his voice coming out like a whine.

“No, I-I just-“ You don’t know what to say other than: “I like you too.” You continue quietly. He smiles, coming closer to kiss you. You melt into him.

“So you don’t like Peacemaker?” He wants to confirm.

“No, stupid. I like you.” You smile against him.

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

Text

MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

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