gonna get a little personal for a second. when i say i imprinted so hard on trent crimm... boy i imprinted so hard on trent crimm. my love of writing, being intensely bullied when i was in school, keeping so many parts of myself secret but yearning to just be me, cool glasses; i could go on for ages. like i immediately vibed with this guy.

i've struggled with my gender and sexuality for a long time. i'd always felt "off" and could never quite pin down what it was. and while i eventually figured out that i'm a bisexual transmasc enby, i felt embarrassed. to me it felt like i had already come out for other things and that there had to be a limit to what those i love could accept. (like, okay kieran, what are you this time? these of course being my own anxiety thoughts, as my family has been very supportive.) i was - and am - in a place where there aren't other people like me and people like me aren't spoken about kindly. so i made no steps to transition in any way because i was scared of how people around me would react and of having to explain myself. i was afraid of committing to something like that. (yeah, the "you'll have to deal with being trans forever" narrative got me. fuck terfs.) i was scared. i didn't want to upset or disappoint anyone i love.

but i had this character that i felt a strong connection to who wasn't what you might call traditionally masculine, who i felt was queer and whose decision to completely upend his career inspired me. a few months after watching 2x12, i made an appointment at planned parenthood and i'll have been on t for a year this may. because something about trent made me realize that i had to do what made me happy. and yes, some people might not like it, but i get to decide who i am. it's my life to live and no one else's.

i'm not sure how to explain how 3x06 was so validating for me. having this character who i felt such a connection to become canon queer was just... i felt happy and comfortable and at peace. i felt so connected! and i felt so connected to so many other fans who had watched the episode and had that same feeling of belonging. i'm frankly still so jazzed that i might just float away lmao.

i don't know where the rest of the series will take us, but what i guess i'm trying to say is i'm so glad i started watching and i am so thankful for trent crimm. may everyone be as lucky to know and see themselves as i have been.

the baby has one parent's little face marking thing and the other's coat because they're a little horse family the world is a beautiful place

real homies respect trans people!

Snowball in Hell, acrylics, 30cmx20cm

I used a random piece of wire to paint the smallest details..!

I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!

I am not normal about any of these characters!

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (...for over half an hour...) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny..........

i call this one "queer silence" or perhaps "slightly judgemental stare"

I know this is the Take Personal Responsibility for Systemic Issues website, but I keep seeing weirdly guilt trippy posts about libraries and ebook licenses, which are a labyrinth from hell and not actually something you personally need to feel guilty about. here are a few facts about ebook licenses you may not know:

in Libby/Overdrive, which currently operates in most US public libraries, ebook licenses vary widely in how much they cost and what their terms are. some ebooks get charged per use, some have a set number of uses before the license runs out, and others have a period of time they're good for (usually 1-2 years) with unlimited checkouts during that period before they expire. these terms are set by the publisher and can also vary from book to book (for instance, a publisher might offer two types of licenses for a book, and we might buy one copy of a book with a set number of uses we want to have but know won't move as much, and another copy with a one year unlimited license for a new bestseller we know will be really moving this year.)

you as a patron have NO way of knowing which is which.

ebook licenses are very expensive compared to physical books! on average they run about 60 bucks a pop, where the same physical book would cost us $10-15 and last us five to ten years (or much longer, if it's a hardcover that doesn't get read a lot.)

if your library uses Hoopla instead, those are all pay per use, which is why many libraries cap checkouts at anywhere between 2-10 per month.

however.

this doesn't mean you shouldn't use ebooks. this doesn't mean you should feel guilty about checking things out! we buy ebook licenses for people to use them, because we know that ebook formats are easier for a lot of people (more accessible, more convenient, easier for people with schedules that don't let them get into the library.) these are resources the library buys for you. this is why we exist. you don't need to feel guilty about using them!

things that are responsible for libraries being underfunded and having to stretch their resources:

government priorities and systemic underfunding of social services that don't turn a profit and aren't easily quantified

our society's failure to value learning and pleasure reading for their own sake

predatory ebook licensing models

things that are not responsible for libraries being underfunded:

individual patron behavior

I promise promise promise that your personal library use is not making or breaking your library's budget. your local politicians are doing that. capitalism is doing that. you are fine.

(if you want to help your local library, the number one thing you can do is to advocate for us! talk to your city or county government about how much you like the library. or call or write emails or letters. advocate for us locally. make sure your state reps know how important the library is to you. there are local advocacy groups in pretty much every state pushing for library priorities. or just ask your local librarian. we like to answer questions!

also, if you're in Massachusetts, bill h3239 would make a huge difference in letting us negotiate ebook prices more fairly. tell your rep to vote for it!)

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

I’m totally normal about these two totally normal dudes :) .

I don’t usually read fics, specially AU related ones, but this one GOT me, holy cow. Check it out if you fancy that sort of thing! 

Love, Death, and Rollerskates by @spadillelicious !

i watched kore-eda's recent film Monster this past week and i truly.. cannot stop thinking about it. maybe my favorite kore-eda film yet

twenties mutant ninja turtles or whatever you call it

Tapping the "your support and solidarity and care for Jews and Romani people and BIPOC should be more powerful than your hatred of nazis" sign so fucking hard rn.

Bcs u should support Jews and Romani people and BIPOC more than u hate nazis and some of u it is very clear that u couldn't give a shite about Jews and romani or BIPOC. You hate nazis but you've forgotten nazis aren't just generalised bigots or bad people and they have an ideology which targets "undesirables" and people who ate racially seen as inferior or less than. Only part of combating white supremacy and fascism is hating nazis and a lot of it is helping communities effected by white supremacy and fascism and listening to and understanding us.

Crimes against short people