#this person i was helping move today was like “dont you just feel so remorseful and guilty all the time for being white” and like in this
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Man theres this particular genre of white girl that seems to get completely hopped up on white guilt any time a person of colour is in their presence. Really embarrassing to witness I'm so sorry yall have to deal with that shit 👎
#this person i was helping move today was like “dont you just feel so remorseful and guilty all the time for being white” and like in this#gross resentful almost way#and i was like ??? no i feel obligation to treat people better than my ancestors did and to try and right as many wrongs as i can and to be#a good person#but its not some sort of christian guilt that i have to spend my life punishing myself for#ive experienced something similar to this as a trans person and its fucking gross feeling. it feels infantilizin#g
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Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 1)
“ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~
What an ep for my girl tohru! She completed her growth thanks to kyo’s rejection. really, It was so hard, cruel, understandable but above all so necessary for her to reach a logical realistic conclusion that “I can love/want things from the bottom of my heart, but at the end I can’t force or bound them to me, I won’t regret loving/wanting them, but I’ll move forward regardless, no more standing still”.
-The fear of being alone:
Aren’t we all? We’re scared to face the word after breaking bonds, changing, not getting what we want, having to start over. Such feelings run deeper into us all. Both tohru & akito were scared to face the word without the old comfortable bond that they got used to:
Tohru realized today, that she cant keep talking to a cold photo, can’t live according to her mom’s expectations, to fulfill her mom’s wishes, can’t narrate her daily life to her mom & fill her life with other ppl’s own issues to distract her self from facing her own loneliness & from looking deeper into what should she do with her life. As she fell in love with kyo, tohru started talking to him! forgetting to inform her mom abt her life’s details, thinking abt what will she do “after graduation?”. As kyo asked in se02, ep2. Graduating highschool is ur mom’s wish, What would u wanna do after?” Tohru didnt have a response of “an after”cuz her mom wasnt there to tell her! Tohru has to choose “the after” herself!!!! “The after” was being with kyo & starting life together! figuring what to do next together! She no longer alone! she found her most precious person!
Except: he cant be with her. Again tohru is scared. What to do now! she wanted a bond but is forced to leave it. Loving kyo was stage 1 to be free from her grief. Moving forward without kyo is stage 2 to learn not to repeat the painful journey again! She didnt let go of her mom & kyo easily. It was hard, scary but she must do it. You must respect their wishes & move on. As scared as she is, there will be sadness & happiness ahead.
Akito realized she cant keep an empty box, cant keep fulfilling her dad’s wishes to “be loved & special” cant bound the zodiacs to her for good. They may love her or not, it doesn't matter, if they wish to leave for whatever reason, she cant force them to stay.
Except now that the zodiacs are leaving, what does she have to live for? who will be with her? she isnt good with strangers? she never met anyone who wasnt forced to obey her & be grateful for her. Strangers cant be forced to love her! what will she do now? stretch you hand for a greeting. Tohru told her, make a friend, they might refuse you, but hey might accept u too, I’ll make it easy, Hi, I;m tohru, whats ur name?
The power of true love: ( reality vs fiction)
In fairy tales, the princess fix the prince. the prince save the princess. The prince kiss the princess, she wakes up & they be happy ever after. Except real life has no prince & princess, You cant always be saved, you cant always save others, pure intense true love cant always be the answer!
Yuki was first when tohru needed physical saving. he saved her twice! Yuki’s nickname in school ”the prince”. Yuki is always cool, thoughtful & kind. Yuki always knew what to say & do! he deserves tohru’s romantic love more than kyo, right? But “ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~ . Yuki didn't feel this way towards tohru, granted no one (excepts kakeru) knows the reason why he loves her fondly (she’s his mom figure). The official” prince isnt the one for her. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. Yuki has someone who sees he isn’t cool, perfect or a prince “ granted no one knows abt machi, yet! ) XD
In tohru monologue: she didnt think abt saving, that's not why she loves kyo. She stated normal, silly, mundane things! a shy smile, awkward kindness & the likes. Stuff ppl love abt each other in real life. You dont say, I love my husband cuz he saved me from a burning building in the 7th floor! lol. But fiction is so full of this. Princes saving princesses.
Tohru didnt fix kyo, too! as much as her love helped him greatly to find hope, the best writing choice is that tohru’s love also brought despair to kyo! To him, she’s the symbol of hope, peace & comfort! she’s also, the symbol of despair, torment & unease! EPIC! The kyo who’s stuck in the past cant be with her, the kyo who will move beyond trauma, abuse & broken soul will be with her. The duality is all on kyo’s shoulder: what will he choose? Can he choose in his state now?
In fairy tales the princess wakes up after the kiss. In real life, we don't. Tohru didn’t. Regardless if she fainted during or after the kiss. The kiss fixed nothing. Kyo’s despair in seeing near-dead tohru in a not-so-subtle mimic to his nightmare, has manifested itself into the sweetest kiss upon seeing her conscious & talking. Kyo isnt good with words, his actions are his words. When he’s scared, sad, in trauma: running away. when he’s fond of her, grateful for her existence: head knock, head pats, hand holding & a kiss. Still the kiss fixed nothing. Kyo is still traumatized more than ever now. Tohru still feels rejected “even if I’m not with you, plz live”.
Talking fixes everything. It didn’t here, kyo & tohru talked & showed their most vulnerable side to the other, but still didn’t meet half ways, regardless of all the love. That’s cuz they keep missing each other’s best timing. Kyo is stuck in the past while tohru has moved forward. even if in her mind she’s the one who stood & he moved. this shows they aren’t on the same wave yet. Before meeting each other again, kyo must learn from his mistake like tohru did. He must face his ultimate demon: his dad. The one who created the current broken kyo.
Rebelling against parents: ( sign of growth & freedom of choice):
Rebelling against parents is a sign of a desire to choose one’s path, decide one’s own future. Away to express an oppressed desire.
Yuki rebelled against his mom in se02. he told her I’m not going to the college you chose. I’ll chose my path. I’m not staying away from Ayame. My bro is good in my book. I chose who I want to be with. He told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.
Tohru rebelled against her mom today. told her I’m not wasting myself doing only what you I think you’ll approve off. You might bot forhet kyo, thats ur choice, But I DO. I love him even if you might not approve of him, Even if he rejected me, my feelings wont change, but I’ll move forward from the grief & pain. mother. She told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.
Kyo WILL rebelled against his disgusting dad. He MUST. It is his turn now. He’ll tell him I’m not wasting myself being locked in a cage. I have a future! I’m not a monster. I am LOVED! I might not 100% sure why I’m loved, but the truth cant be hidden. I have ppl who love me! cheer for me! I want to live! enough of death! mom & kyoko died, tohru nearly did, but I’m not gonna die! I’m not killing ME! I’‘ll do what MOM didnt do! I’ll do what YOU couldn't do! I’ll live! He’ll tell him what he needed, turned his back & moved forward. I cant wait! I’m in tears just thinking abt it! Kyo was punished enough! time for happiness!
Side Notes:
While I’m impressed with tohru’s growth, as they did her justice in this ep, this doesn’t erase that the buildup for tohru’s own journey & trauma was mediocre. There is a reason ppl commented ” omg tohru, you can love your mom AND kyo!. ” Grief is illogical, long process & it sucks that we weren’t allowed to experience tohru’s grief & her mom’s role in tohru’s abandonment issues. Huge lost opportunity that a good conclusion ep cant erase! but like tohru, I’m moving on ~
The path of growth for kyo will start by rejecting the demon: his dad. No. other. option. Hold abusers accountable for their crimes. Stop their madness. Tell them off.
We know kyo is baka! that’s his trade mark, the endearing baka! a lot of characters in the show think so! I love it, but I’m craving baka-yuki! XD! really, yuki is cool, level-headed & smart, but let him be baka too! this only shows up in tiny microscopic doses, but they’re my fave doses of yuki! it humanizes the “perfect prince”, the “gifted high status rat”! Thus him not seeing kyo running the other side, is my fave look on him! XD.
I appreciate that kyo & yuki put their differences aside when they’re with tohru. You cant tell yuki is hella pissed off with kyo, but he restrained himself. His gaze while full of anger is also full of sympathy as he heard/saw kyo’s panic upon the thought of loosing tohru. He understand they both only mean the best for each other, but also tried they both keep missing each other & not meeting half way! Also, yuki being the only one in the hospital is realistic & endearing. No need for them all to be there & yuki lives with her & is so close to her.
kyo not being the hospital is fantastic! thank you writer-San! why would kyo go to the hospital after thinking his nightmare came true? kyoko /his mom warned him, you’ll hurt another person.. he did.. he didn't cause her fall... but caused her sadness & hurt.
Momiji’s reprimanding gaze is my fave look on him! Also, the best response to what akito did. Akito isnt used to such judgemental gaze. Kureno grabbed her cheeks, gently told her you shouldn't do that, the old maid told her you are right, Dr. Hatori erased her mistakes from ppl heads & bodies, shigure being either cold or kissing her ass, coxing her to yet torment another zodiac in his grand scheme to break the curse as happened in the beach arc.
You bet hana & arisa will be there next ep! Arisa will meet kureno & akito for sure. To path the way for their romance as seen in the ED.
Shigure’s “remorse” is a whole can of worms. Playing with ppl’s hearts & feelings to gain someone’s affection is no laughing matter. Each time blood is shed, he contributed somehow. he didnt force anyone to hurt the other, but he played with matches & never got hurt.
Shigure must be glad akito stabbed kureno. Not cuz he’s sadistic or bad person. He isn’t, but cuz akito stabbing kureno is akito cutting her bond with him. Go shigure, your girl removed her lover with blood. Kureno is punished for sleeping with ur girl by blood! so, when is ur punishment for sleeping with ur lover’s mom? none? ok.
The animation is good. They didnt villinize akito by drawing extra manic features like se02. Kyo’s broken & tormented face once again epicly drawn. However, akito’s slaps on tohru’s face were comedic, unnecessary & such bad taste! Stop using violence for extra drama, furuba!
Also, tohru, I love you, I understand you are broken but charging at a person, who has a history of violence & physical abuse & holding a knife, is stupid. No other description. I’m glad she didnt accidentally kill you in her initial rage.
Everything akito’s redemption, kureno & shigure are part 2 in my review.
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Lonely Together
Jihoon: Chapter 2 (Dark Side)
Characters: Jihoon x female reader
Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, health issue mentions, weapon mentions, panic attack description? (Though honestly it’s more of an anxiety attack), death mentions, child abandonment mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.
Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Dark Side by R5. I thought the actual lyrics to the song gave off a solid vibe that I wanted to transfer to the start of this particular chapter.
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!
Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts
🥀 & ☁️
Lonely Together Master List
Chapter 2: Dark Side
When you woke up this morning, you had the sweet scent of Vanilla and honey hit your nose. It was warm and inviting and made you feel safe. You were glad, normally you’d never feel safe in the wild. The pack helped a lot with that issue. But when you woke up today, you noticed that you had woken up to a quiet house. Which was… strange to say the least. There was always some sort of ruckus going on downstairs in the early hours. So you figured you’d go investigate cautiously, in case something had happened. You grabbed your thigh garter belt with your knives attached before you quietly made your way down the stairs. You saw and heard no one. Nothing was wrong or out of place. Everyone was just… gone. But why?
“Boy, you come prepared don’t you?” A male voice said from the stairs, causing you to jolt back in surprise, automatically drawing your knife from its holster on sheer instinct, ready to release it at any given moment.
You relaxed and placed it back to your thigh as you realized it was just Jihoon, one of the less spoken wolves of the pack.
He was only a few inches taller than you, but you were still incredibly intimidated by him. You weren’t sure why all the others were terrified to piss him off, even the alphas, but you were never worried he’d get mad at you. Which was weird, you were always skeptical of everyone, it was just in your nature as a rogue wolf.
However, with him, it wasn’t horror that overtook your veins, it was nervousness. Like you had some sort of school girl crush on him and you were worried you’d mess something up in front of him and die from the embarrassment of it. But why? Why would you care what some rando wolf would think of you when you’d probably be leaving in a bit when your wounds were healed better?
“Jesus Jihoon! You know I could’ve killed you right? Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to fuck with a bitch with knives?” You huffed out in annoyance while slapping you hands over your face, praying that he hadn’t seen your cherry red cheeks yet.
Of course he had though. He never took his eyes off of you whenever you were in a room. You were just too zoned off to notice
“Uh no… Not really. Never had them so they didn’t teach me shit. Not that any of that matters. We both know you’d never hurt anyone if you could help it.” He shrugged, nudging past you to make his way to the fridge for a bite to eat with a small smile pasted on his glorious lips. God he annoyed you.
“You don’t know that. I always come prepared, I could be a serial killer for all any of you know” you cooly threw his way as you let your guard down slightly, for some reason trusting him enough to have a semi civilized conversation alone.
“Yeah yeah you’re a little vicious killer. Whatever you say kid” He laughed out, trying to keep his amusement in check at your quick replies.
You gritted your teeth, “Hey I am not a kid! I’m centuries old! MUCH older than you.” You smugly responded to his bitch ass nickname for you.
Jihoon looked you up and down for a second, making you a bit self conscious and spreading a heat down to your lower belly, “You don’t look older than me. Matter of fact, you look like the youngest one here. So I’m gonna keep calling you kid, kid.” He leaned in close to you and whispered seductively in your ear.
“Where- where is everyone?” You stuttered out, trying your best not to focus on the minimal contact Jihoon had made with your shoulder while brushing past you moments ago. Curse your dumb instincts. Why did you have to find him attractive? Couldn’t your wolf side ever just stay in check?
“The market? No, to Taeyong’s? Maybe it was to the river? I dont know by the time they left it didn’t seem like they even knew where they were going so I stopped listening.” He answered while taking a bit of an apple he had snagged from the fruit basket on the counter.
“W-why didn’t you go with them?” You questioned him as you tried your best to avoid his piercing gaze.
“Didn’t feel like third wheeling a bunch of mated coupled wolves.” He shrugged once more while sitting himself on the kitchen table you were next to, “Plus, someone needed to stay here and keep an eye on the house.”
“I would’ve been here.” You chimed in, as if he would’ve ever seriously left you alone.
Whether you were a Werewolf or not, he was NOT gonna leave you without some sort of safety net if he could help it. If he had it his way, you wouldn’t even go down to the market with the other mates when supplies were needed. He knew you could handle yourself as a fellow wolf, and he knew you were the best to go because you weren’t marked yet, but he was worried for you.
You definitely had people looking at you because of your different appearance. You were drop dead gorgeous to anyone with eyes, and that greatly concerned him every-time you went out shopping. He may have been more of a lone wolf, but he wanted to protect you at all cost, even if you didn’t realize that’s what he was doing yet.
“Doesn’t count. You’re a FANCY werewolf, remember?” He emphasized the word fancy in a condescending way that irked your nerves all the way to your core.
“We don’t know what you can do yet. Besides, you act like I’d actually want to go watch them make goo goo eyes at each other all day long. Seeing them cuddle and dry hump the whole time we’re doing something isn’t my idea of fun. I’d rather be here and enjoy the peace and quiet while I can.” He said as he tossed the remains of his apple in the garbage can in one swift motion.
“I can do everything you guys can and more!” You defended yourself, getting a bit frustrated at the younger wolf for doubting your abilities.
“Then prove it. Do something… super wolfy” he chuckled out, half jokingly and half seriously in what a normal person would recognize as a flirty manner.
He hadn’t had too many girlfriends. His experience with girls was limited compared to his brothers. So sticking to his sarcastic edgy tone was the only way he knew how to engage with you.
He was curious as to what your powers entailed anyways. They all were, none of them had met a wolf like you before. All the wolves they knew were modern, and the only seriously powerful wolf they knew was from a Chinese pack that had fled to their area who could communicate with heaven, hell, and the nether realms. They had heard stories that had been passed down for some generations about what wolves were like long ago, but none of it was confirmed because nearly all had been killed or died off. So they wanted to see if you could actually do all the things from the legends they heard about your people. For all they knew, you could fly.
You hesitated for a moment, trying your best to think of something, anything that you could do that would shut him up and prove your point. But everything you thought of required you to be much stronger than you currently were. None of the visible powers you had were working right now due to the small amount of silver still running through your system. Even if you were working at full strength and weren’t hurt, you had never been able to use your powers to their full extent do to something having been wrong with you since birth.
“… I- I cant.” You sighed in defeat while bringing your head down to look at your hands.
“Why not?” He wondered aloud, not even really meaning to tease you, he just let the innocent question slip from his lips without thinking.
“Because I got hurt and I have no way to get better! My entire pack is dead! Everyone I love is dead! I don’t have a mate! I need some sort of connection to the people around me to heal faster and I don’t have one anymore! I need one or the other to have my powers come back this quickly after such a traumatic incident and I have neither! I’m fucked up and I’ve been fucked up for a long time okay!” You snapped, your eyes now bleeding and turning emerald green from anger as you yelled at him.
Once you saw his confused and remorseful expression, you quickly closed your eyes and turned around to try and calm down. You didn’t mean to go after him like that, but you were already very worried about your own health not coming back and the taunting tone in his voice just made you break. You could feel the hurt in his heart. It made you want to cry, you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just a very touchy person who had been asked about a very touchy subject.
“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. I just- I’m concerned for myself and this conversation… well it made the concerns I already had skyrocket. But that’s not your fault. You would’ve had no way of knowing that. I apologize for getting mad at you over something so childish.” You earnestly said, trying your best to look him in the eyes without blushing from embarrassment.
He quickly moved his head down to look at his lap. He understood your pain. He could feel it everyday. You were his mate, he already did have a connection to you. He knew when you were sad or hurt or worried. He knew that you weren’t just in physical pain, but emotional pain as well. He wished he could take it all away from you so you never felt a negative feeling again. But he just couldn’t. Though, he was upset at himself for making it worse for you. Why did he always have to try and stir the pot? Couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? Couldn’t he just be cool around you and know when to stop?
“It’s okay. I… I understand what it’s like. To not have anyone I mean. I didn’t realize that you actually had to have those things in order to heal better though. With wolves now, we don’t necessarily have to have those things. I mean having them helps, but we get better eventually anyways as long as we get the wound cleaned properly. I didn’t know it was different for you...” He bit his lip as he continued, “But you know, our pack can be your pack, if you want anyway. There’s an opening for another ticking time bomb now that Chan’s found a mate. You’d be perfect for the job” he joked, though you could tell he was serious at the offer for you to join the pack.
“Yeah… how much does it pay an hour?” You played along, trying to lighten the mood from the tension you had made appear due to your little anger outburst.
You hurriedly propped yourself up on the table next to Jihoon, who gave you a small smile in return. It gave you goosebumps all over your skin. So you were thankful you had grabbed a large sweater the pack had given you before you went downstairs this morning.
You were given a bunch of them. They made you feel safe, and you loved the way they smelt. So when the other mates apologized and said they didn’t have many ‘girly clothing items’ to give you as getting clothing was sparse at the moment, you didn’t complain. You were perfectly content with your bigger clothing.
When you sat up on the table, you smelt the same scent of vanilla and honeysuckle that you nostrils had been absorbing from the clothing given to you…
“Not a lot.” Jihoon confessed, “we only offer housing, protection, and being around people who would do anything for you. But honestly, you could do a lot worse in terms of a career.” He bit his lip once more, the action drawing a small pur from your chest, which you tried to cover with a small cough. Of course he still caught the sound though. You weren’t even sure why looking at him made you that happy. The sound made Jihoon swoon, he loved that he already had such an impact on you.
“Of course there’s also some downside like with all jobs… like having to constantly break up fights, having a complete jackass for a mate, and well… you know… sharing bathrooms…” he trailed on, rubbing his neck while he attempted to make it seem like the middle part was casual.
“Wait! A complete WHAT for a WHO and WHERE was I???” You all but yell out in shock, making Jihoon wince.
He couldn’t tell if you were upset that he’d just burst it out like that. He honestly couldn’t even tell if you knew you were his mate or not. He didn’t know if you WANTED a mate or not. From what he knew of you, you usually stayed away from people unless you had to be around them. You told the others that staying alone is how you’d survived all these centuries. But Would you make an exception to your rules for survival to stay with him?
“Uh… yeah. A mate. That would- that would be me. I’m your mate…” He whispered, attempting as best as he could to regain control of his heartbeat that was now almost pounding out of his chest.
That’s when it all clicked in your head. Why they let you eat first with the mates, with the OTHER mates. You were one of them. It’s why they found you when you needed help, he must’ve felt you were in danger. It’s why you didn’t die that day even though your wounds would’ve been normally fatal even to you, because he was near you and never left your side. It’s why you weren’t scared of him like everyone else, you knew he’d never hurt you because he loved you. It’s why the pack always giggled anytime you and Jihoon would get near each other. It’s why the smell on your sweaters and his smell were so familiar, he gave them to you because you were his. You two were mates. It all made sense.
“We’re- we’re mates?” You reaffirmed out loud, but you started to feel dizzy. You weren’t sure what was happening.
Everything was going too fast, it felt like you were moving in slow motion but the entire world was spinning as fast as it could around you. The edges of your vision started becoming fuzzy and dark. You started to feel like you were going to pass out, but before you could fall flat on your face to the floor, Jihoon caught your fragile body in his arms.
“Yes. We are. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I wanted to give you some time to adjust to being around normal people before I told you.” He assured you as he started moving towards the stairs, bringing you to his room and setting you down on his bed. He was incredibly worried for you, he could hear your heart rate slowing by the second.
“You might need to lay down. You don’t look well” he spoke softly as he held the back of one of his larger hands to your clammy forehead.
“Yeah… okay… rest… that makes sense… I’m sorry I- I just wasn’t expecting-” You tried to say as you start to give into the panicking darkness, not wanting to fight the urge to black out anymore.
“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Just try and sleep okay?” He shushed you as he moved his blankets over your petite form, hesitant to touch you as he didn’t want to make matters worse. But his inner wolf was screaming at him to hold you and rock you to help you.
Everything you had heard about Jihoon told you he wasn’t someone who could have a relationship. All the others always talked about him wanting no one around him ever. They called him a grumpy old rogue wolf who miraculously got stuck in their pack. They said that He did things his own way. He did things alone. So did you.
“Jihoon, how the hell are we supposed to be together when we’re both lone wolves?” You whimpered out to him before everything went dark.
Another Author’s Note: alright so you guys know the drill. I wrote this close to midnight and I’m too tired to care about revising rn. So i shall look at it and fix any mistakes tomorrow when I get the time. Tomorrow I don’t think I’ll be praying more than once. Sorry, I’m working a doubt shift. But Wednesday I’m hoping to post three times! Here’s to hoping!
(Updated 9/6)
#seventeen#seventeen angst#seventeen au#seventeen fanfic#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt au#seventeen x reader#jihoon#seventeen woozi#woozi fluff#svt woozi#woozi drabble#woozi angst#woozi x reader
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Don't touch...
(L/n) (Y/n).
Quirk? Unknown to him until the days of today...
Your company after all these years had been quite... enjoyable for him to not say the least. Most of the time you wore a mask, gloves and clothes that covered most of your skin, yet you always opted to be more free, feel the sun and the wind on your skin... he never get it why though.
Without the clothes you would remember a bit of him, flinch away from the touch even before it could touch you... yet when it was on your clothing you just reacted calmly and dare he say even sweetly.
He came to know you as kids, just barely when he entered the yakusa Pops showed to him you.. a kind soul that asked him if he wanted to play despite the look of distrust and hatred he gave to you just when you looked at him.
He never complained about you not wanting to be touched, he didn't liked it either. But he could tell you had... different reasons. As the years went by, he notice the dreadfull and even the remorse behind those (E/c) eyes of denying someone touch, a pat on the head, a hand shake... a hug.
It was... strange.
It's funny how reverse psychology worked... thats at least what he deduced from his own analysis. He didn't felt comfortable, heck actually he felt sick to the stomach if everyone else got too close to him or forbid God to ever lay a finger on him... but with you? The more you would get away from him, the more he wanted you to stay by his side... you were one of the few whose he felt comfortable enough.
He had gone through one of the most painfull feeling right on his childhood. Parental neglect and abuse, not even mentioning the pain he had to atture of controling his own quirk, testing on both victims and himself. Seriously, what could be worse than that?
Simple. When he found out that he was actually catching feelings for you, and your neglect of touch was even from him.
He didn't know what was so special that left his skin itching to just brush against yours...he just.. needed to test the waters. Yeah, it was only that.
The Hassaikai for a very long time had a plan for touching you. Since you werent as deadly and scary as Kai, and had kinda of a good partnership for all of them, he just could watch the shit go downs.
But soon stopped being a joke one day where Mimic went from behind you and tried to grab your wrist as you listened to his other plan to tell Pops later. He didn't even could tell you before your reflexes acted and you kicked Mimic square in the face.
"Dont. Touch me. This is not a joke anymore." You muttered in anger before bowing to Kai and leaving the room, his golden eyes widening at the drops of tears you let it slip from your eyes.
Mimic never once thought that the young sucessor of the Hassaikai could be even more enraged and such a monster when dealing with you. Rappa could only laugh since this time he wasn't the one having his ass beaten and overhauled. Haha poor him I torture him sometimes here
He couldn't understand... until the day where you were crying your eyes out. He couldn't understand until you just threw three blankets at him and hugged him for all your might.
His breath suddenly dissapeared...he didn't know what to say or even do at that point, and just when he was about to lower his arms you pulled away from and took the three massive blankets away from.
"Sorry, Chisaki.." you sniffled as he blinked, stoic gaze still present at your depressed state. "Really, forgive me I-"
"You never once told me about your "despise" for touch." He interrupted you, letting you lift your head for him to speak again "We both know my reason, but you're far away from a clean freak person or a mysophobic... explain it."
His eyes never widened at the point where it even hurted his whole life.
Your illness. Your quirk. That was why you couldn't touch anyone neither let anyone touch you. Your quirk allowed you to give resistance to others with only one glance and gave you amazing reflexes... but the consequences were way too big....
Hearing this made his skin form into hives, anger at despicable things rising even more.
From that way beyond, he promised himself that he would create a cure. It didn't even matter, he just needed a cure for this. A cure for you to stop suffering.
More years went by... he saw your worry at Pops condition, he saw your worry towards him for both being charged with the chore of taking care of the girl and both for him to get the tittle as the big boss.
Yet he couldn't stop. When he discovered Eri's quirk he saw a hint of light on the end of the tunnel. You wouldn't ever need to use thick clothes to protect yourself from vanishing from existence.
The bullets were only experimental. He selled most of them to be used as... experiments. He would use the first serum on you, and this way you could stop this nightmare where many nights you confessed to him... as he confesses his own sins.
You wouldn't like to know about Eri, so he simply erased the idea of telling you that. He never answered your questions on what he was working. His mind fooling him that he wasn't exactly lying to you if he hadn't said anything.
He could only be relieved to graze your skin under only using his gloves... at first he thought it would be enough, but no.
Love is like a damn drug. The more you get, the more you want. And he couldn't help but want more.
The bullets were a success... but he knew heroes were coming towards him. That blonde and green haired kid surely were behind this...
So the least he could do was give you a night to remember if anything went wrong on those next few days.
"A festival?" You asked with wide eyes before gasping at him putting the box on the desk. "Huh?"
"You always talk about them." He answered nonchantly, montioning with his eyes at the box as hs stuffed his hands on his pockets.
You snickered and opened the box carefully before widening your eyes, picking the golden and with traces of shiny green yukata on your hands... you were out of words until you gasped at Chisaki leaving and standing on the door way, giving you only one side eye glance as he spoke before he closed the door.
"I expect you to be ready by 8."
You blinked in shock before softening your gaze, holding the yukata over your body as you could only smile...
You were tired of living this way... if it meant you could spend a night with the man you love normally... so be it.
.
.
.
The sky had a bunch of lanterns and it shined with the lights of it along with the stars. You bounced and walked happily ahead of Chisaki with a basket.
He was always wary of anyone who ever dared to step closer... the yukata covered your legs, chest and arms. But you noisy self insisted on going without gloves and he was actually worried that the material of the yukata he brought wasn't as thick to protect your skin.
Yet he had to only breath in and out, the air making it hotter around the area where his mask was... he had one of the serums in here. With him. Soon he will inject, and gave to you your freedom.
"Ne Kai! Look at that booth over there!" You tugged on the material of his own yukata as his golden nonchantly gaze looked at the mans throing balls and hitting the aims of the booth, winning prices for their kids and partners.
He let out a "tch" before noticing how your eyes shined and how your lips quivered up at seing the stuffed animals the man was giving.
Blinking, he sighed, muttering how he this was a waste of time before he dropped a bunch of coins to the man and grabbed three balls.
You clapped your hands in glee as he threw the three balls and with the most perfection he hit the three aims right on the middle of it.
"Choose." He said nonchantly while grabbing a napkin and wiping his GLOVED hands as you pointed at a cute yet fluffy and chubby penguin. Without the man grabbing the stick, he lifted his hand up and yanked the stuffed animal and hand it to you as you squealed, nuzzling your face on it with glee... making him smile at how innocent and sad this scene was.
Everytime you would look at a treat or just a snack he would buy... you even wondered with wide eyes and mouth full how much he brought to this festival as he only growled for you to not speak with a mouth full.
You were hugging the price Chisaki won to you for warm as he looked at you and stopped, it was on a fair and quite isolated area of the festival so he found the perfect time to give you the medice. Your cure.
"Cold?"
"A bit." You giggled before you saw him taking a box and overhauling it, showing a little red capsule "What's this?"
"... (Y/n).. I despise touch. I really do.. but I can't lie that I wasn't expecting at least to feel a real contact between us, skin to skin... you know how much you affect me? To have me, Chisaki Kai, wanting to at least feel what your skin feels like? Feel how soft those lips are instead of just receiving a quick kiss on my mask..." you blinked, raising a eyebrow with a sad smile.
"I wish I could do this way sooner-" you stopped talking as soon as you heard laughter and voices of childs running and playing around.
"Brats..." chisaki sighed at the sign, a quadruple of two girls and two boys chasing them, the two young girls greeting both of you as the one of the boys screamed after them.
It all happened so fucking fast... the last boy tripped and it was about to fall with his head on a rock... it if it wasn't for your good reflexes the boy would had fall.
"Thank you miss!" The boy mumbled with a smile as you, with both hands on his arms helped him.
His and your eyes were so wide... you looked at him and his gaze was filled with horror.
Your hand started to fade, a bunch of (E/c) butterflies started to form and fly away instead of the hand that was suppose to be there.
He couldn't even fucking move as you looked at him... he expected everything but the huge smile and the sob of happines you let out before jumping on him and hugging him with tears in your eyes.
"Finally I can touch you..!" You sighed with a sob, not feeling your legs anymore.
"(Y/n)-!" He dropped the bullet on the ground and clenched onto your back as his eyes started to burn before you locked his lips so softly, your eyes closed as your image faded away and his eyes wide open...
The last thing he saw was your smile as your body was replaced with lifes and butterflies... his knees gave out when he could only tigger at the yukata he bought for you...
The whole festival was all happy and cheerfully until they heard the shouts of pain of a man inside the peacefull and full of butterflies forest.
A/n: eeyyy dont even need to coment the damn visible reference right? :D
#overhaul x reader#chisaki kai x reader#overhaul#chisaki kai#bnha characters#bnha#bnha villains x reader#bnha villains#bnha fanfiction#bnha fics#zuffer writings
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Hey can i request a dh master x reader fic x where the master accidentally hurts the reader or the reader is hurt (not necessarily by the master) and the master has to take care of her. fluff if possible
Hello! Thank you for the request! I made it a bit angsty, but I hope that you enjoy it!!! 💜
Please Don’t Leave Me
Dhawan!Master x Reader
Summary: The reader used to travel with The Doctor, but now travels with The Master. Though excited for their first adventure together, it doesn’t go as planned. Spiritual sequel to Kidnapping Dates.
Warnings: Slight wounds, violent outburst, character death
Word Count: 3565
“Now adventures with me are going to be different than those of The Doctor.” The Master circled the TARDIS console, plotting the desired course into the machine, manically waving a pointed finger around like someone trying to emphasise their argument when they know that they're losing.
“I thought you said that you were going to keep me out of your evil plans?” You bounded up to where he was standing, wrapping your arms around his waist and plopped your chin down upon his shoulder.
“I am, but that doesn’t mean that my old and new enemies can’t find me, and then, once they discover your existence and importance to me, slaughter you in front of my, probably, immobilized body and, by doing all of this, shatter my world and break my hearts for all eternity.” His voice was matter-of-fact, while he fiddled with the controls of the console, but you knew that he meant what he said. He still had trouble convincing him to be more vulnerable with you. You knew that he needed time to fully be comfortable, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t enjoy teasing him of his growing emotions.
“Awww, you really do care about me.” You turned your head to stare and smirk at him, nuzzling your nose into his cheek to try and cause a smile to break out on his face.
“Y/N this is important.” The Master’s face was deadly serious, immune to your charm at the moment, and you knew that he had the right to be, but the pressure of the truth was too much for you to handle. You needed the humor to cope to with the sheer amount of people that were following you and The Master around the universe with the intention of torture and killing.
“All we are doing today is seeing an alien art museum. Simple and easy. What could go wrong?!” You squeezed his sides reassuringly before heading to the door. He followed you slowly, his face looked pained. You wanted to bring him back to his giggy schoolboy like self, he was so happy and joyful to actually have you in his life. You had stayed in the TARDIS the entire time, the outside universe was never present in his mind. You were growing bored and pressured him to go on an adventure, he kept promising but then delaying when he would allow you to leave. You brought the real world back into your lives.
Evidently, a lot could go wrong. A group of The Master’s old foes had banded together to frame him for the robbery of the museum and whatever lives were lost during the incident. They forced all of the other visitors into a large room, surrounded by gunmen. They stated that they would kill a stranger each time The Master refused to do as they wished. The Master kept you safely behind him, when he boldly retorted to the group that he had no remorse for the strangers, and that they could do whatever they wished, and that he fully intended on leaving unscaved. You were confident in his statement, you knew that he had no remorse for them and you could feel his growing anger, worrying you that he might just kill everyone himself.
Suddenly, the leader of the group grew bored with the banter and raised a weapon in The Master’s direction. You screamed and flew out from behind him, pushing him out of the way. You were successful in your selfless act in saving The Master, but in the process, whatever spacey wacey weapon the leader of the group used, he managed to hit you. You crumbled to the ground, clutching your side. The Master quickly moved to you and inspected your wound. He was furious, but reassured you through gritted teeth that it was only a graze, nothing major compared to what it could be.
He turned his attention to the group, brandishing his TCE from his pocket using it to freeze them in place before any of them could combat his act. You tried to make a joke about how he was always adding new tricks and gadgets to that thing, but he silenced you to a harsh look. He forced you to your feet, easily lifting you, and he ordered you to lock yourself in the TARDIS. You were going to argue, but he, again, silenced you with a harsh look, causing you to stumble into his ship. Once inside, the TARDIS locked you inside for you, so you could just flop down onto a sofa and wait for The Master.
You waited longer than you thought you would. You knew that The Master was torturing and killing the individuals that hurt you. You were able to hear some random screams and cries for help, even though the TARDIS tried to silence most of the outside noise, but you didn’t need to hear their terrified voices to know what The Master was doing. You wished that he didn’t have to seek vengeance, but even with your love present, it was difficult for him to give up all of his questionable behaviours. You just hoped that he was only harming the group that tried to hurt the pair of you, and not the innocent strangers that just happened to visit the museum that day. Suddenly, ripping you from your thoughts, The Master burst into the TARDIS. He was covered in blood, some of it was already drying onto his skin and clothes, indicating that whatever he was doing took longer than you wished. He was distracted, but when he saw you sitting on the sofa, he began screaming, directing all of his anger toward you. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“Master, I-” All you wanted to do was protect the person you loved, and you tried to explain yourself, but The Master quickly cut you off, walking toward the console.
“No! I dont want to hear whatever idiotic explanation a stupid Human like yourself could come up with!” He sighed and rested his hands on the console, his head falling between his shoulders. He was breathing heavy, you could hear it from the other side of the room. You could see him begin to tap his fingers in a four beat pattern. You just wish you could know what he was thinking. Suddenly he leaped forward to his desk, near the sofa you were still sitting on, and began throwing its contents wherever his hearts desired. You tried to calm him down, ignoring his comment at the moment, calling his name, then a mug went flying, landing at your feet. You shrieked and ran as fast as you could from the console room to your private bedroom. It hurt immensely, but you didn’t want to stay in that room with him throwing a fit like that. Once you reached your bedroom, letting your mind calm slightly, you realized that the TARDIS formed the fastest path for your benefit and you thanked her for that.
In the rush of adrenaline, you were unaware of the large gashes running up and down your right side until you reached up to wipe away your tears and you felt something warm smear across your face. You felt where the man from the museum had shot at you, the graze just below your left rib, but you didn’t feel the shards of the mug The Master had thrown at you sticking out of some places on your body until now.
You were too overwhelmed to really process anything, causing the events to swirl around your brain, building with intensity each time you remembered. You broke down crying, unable to take everything in, but you knew that you had to do something to help yourself. You struggled to get up, falling a couple of times. You eventually managed to stand properly, shock still rattling you, but you walked shakily to the en suite, using the wall for support the entire time.You searched the medicine cabinet for some Earth pain reliever you had brought with you. You found some space plasters and some healing ointment the TARDIS had placed in there. The Doctor had used one on you when you accidentally tripped and scraped your knee on a rock after a small adventure. You found the pain reliever, and took the proper dosage before laying out the plasters and ointment and a pair of fresh towels and pajamas on the bathroom sink. You thought that this was the best way to clear your mind.
You went back into your bedroom to retrieve a hair tie, but you soon lost your goal when your train of thought derailed but you saw The Master’s form haunting your open bedroom door. You jumped when you saw him, and in a shrieking tone, asked what he was doing in here. His face was wet with tears and his eyes were red. He was still covered in blood, but the sadness that was so palpable on him contrasted drastically to his menacing appearance.
“Let me help you. Please.” His hands were outstretched and pleading. It was difficult to process everything, causing you to shake your head. The Master only pleaded more vehemently, grabbing your arms to force you to look at him. He let go quickly when he saw the utter fear that consumed your eyes. He ghosted his hands up and down your arms and sides, resting his head where your neck connected with your shoulder. You could feel him mumbling into your skin, but you couldn’t hear him. He began kissing your neck but you violently jerked away. He was much stronger than you, so it was easy for him to keep you in his arms while he continued to mumble into your skin.
You heard some of his statements, something about how he wanted to help you and how he was sorry, but nothing he said computed. The Master kissed his way down your body until he was kneeling before you. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and hid his face in your stomach. You could feel him start to cry, his shaking body making it even more difficult for you to stand in your fragile state. You were so conflicted and overwhelmed by everything that occurred today that you hesitated interacting with him. The Master’s arms only tightened around you causing you to place one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair, more so to stay balanced than to comfort him. The more you ran your fingers through his hair, however, the more he relaxed around you, planting soft kisses to your abdomen. He then rested his chin on your stomach to look up at you, speaking in a cracking voice that showed how much he had been crying before this moment, “Please, please, please, let me help you, Y/N. I don’t want you to be alone right now.”
“No, Master, you don’t want to be alone right now.” More tears fell from his eyes and he hid his face into your body because of your harsh comment. “But I will let you help me because I don’t know how to clean my wounds properly. You are going to have to work hard to earn my forgiveness, but I will give you a chance.” You tried to stay strong even though you were hurting more than you ever had before in your life. The Master slowly stood up, leaning on you for support even though you could barely stand yourself, the weight of the day quickly came crashing down on you. The Master tried to look at you in the eye, but you couldn’t keep contact, resorting to opening your arms, allowing him to hug you, instead.
You quickly moved to get another set of towels before turning on the shower, all the while not looking at The Master, who followed your every move. You hesitated again, unsure of how to act. You and The Master had been intimate before, in fact, the two of you spent the majority of your time before today in bed together, but seeing this new side of The Master first hand shocked you to your core. You wanted The Master’s love and help in this moment, but part of your mind only thought that seeing the wound the gang leader caused and gashes from The Master’s outburst would lead him into another anger filled outburst. The Master was wise to this, slowly walking toward you and pulling at your clothes.
“I’m not going to hurt you ever again. I just want you to be safe and healthy.” You nodded after processing his statement, allowing him to remove your top. It stung where your blood dried around some of your wounds. The Master delicately peeled your clothing off of you after you winced. You tried to cover yourself as best as possible while The Master removed his bloody clothes. The Master was bashful, too, hanging his head when he indicated that you should enter the shower first. The blood instantly began washing off of you, forming a river of red down the drain. The Master moved into the shower, causing the river of red to deepen in color. You moved to reach for the soap, but The Master stopped you, indicating that he wanted to do it for you. You let him do everything, he washed your hair, your body and face, paying special attention to the wounded areas. He washed the remainder of the blood off of his body while you brushed your teeth just to do something to ignore the silence.
The two of you stayed in the shower even after you were clean. You could feel The Master growing anxious, he wanted to say something, but you remained silent, facing the shower head. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around your torso, softer in actions compared to when he first entered your room. With the shower hitting your face, and The Master’s body wrapped around you, you couldn’t help but start crying again.
“It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m so sorry. I will never hurt you again.” The Master kept repeating those words like a mantra, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to comfort you. He placed pressured kisses to your shoulders as he massaged the sides of your body and hips. Eventually he rested his head between your shoulder blades and stilled his arms tightly around your stomach. The two of you stayed like this, completely silent, until the water grew cold. You knew that this was the TARDIS urging you to exit the shower and actually talk about what happened.
The Master exited the shower first, drying off and wrapping a towel around his waist. He held the other towel open so he could wrap it around you. You stepped into his arms as he dried you off before fixing the towel in its place around your chest. He led you to your desk, helping you up to sit on it before he returned to the bathroom to retrieve the healing ointment and plasters. He sat at your desk chair and insected your wounds more closely.
You couldn’t look at him as he patched you up. You saw from the corner of your eye how he would glance up at you and maneuver his head to try and look into your eyes. You didn’t see the sadness written on his face, however, whenever you would avoid his gaze. Eventually, he finished applying the ointment and plasters to your skin. The Master said that he would need to remove them in a couple of minutes, if he left them on too long, it would increase the amount of scar tissue created.
“Can we talk about what happened?” His voice was so quiet and soft, if you had never met him before, you would never think that this person sitting before you was a murderer. But then you remembered the events of today, how the man you loved went from a loving, domestic, partner to vicious, vengeful, murderer.
“I don’t want to.” You tried to shrink into the towel and into yourself.
“I think that we should, Y/N.”
“I know that we should, Master, but I don’t want to.” You ventured to look up at him, which only hurt your heart more. His lips were parted and his eyes were trying to stop tears from falling down his face. He looked so normal, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair drying naturally and messily, with a slight curl appearing in the longer strands.
You sighed before speaking “I just wanted to help you.”
“I was holding my TCE in my pocket the entire time, I was just waiting for the right moment to use it.”
“He was going to shoot you.”
“I-I” he shook his head, letting it drop between his shoulders, “I told you that my life was dangerous. This is exactly what I wanted to protect you from.”
“Well, it happened, so we just have to deal with it now.” You looked off toward the clock by your bedside. The Master followed your gaze, he realized that he left the spacey wacey plasters on too long. He cursed under his breath before quickly removing them from your wounds. Once they were all gone, he ran his fingers over some of the previous gashes, they scarred more than he wished. He cursed again, moving to look at some of the other scars, but you drew your towel up around your body, preventing The Master’s search.
The Master sighed at your still frigid demeanor, but hoped that you would open up to him. “Can we move to our room?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Can we stay here then? It will be a bit different, but if you are more comfortable here...”
“Well, I’m obviously going to be staying here. I don’t know about you.” You got up from your seat on the table and packed up the medical supplies, ripping some from The Master’s hands, before going to the bathroom to put on your pajamas. You exited the bathroom, harshly flipping off the light, and climbed into your side of the bed, purposely making sure that you were cocooned within the blankets and facing in the opposite direction of The Master. You couldn’t go to sleep, but you kept your eyes closed. Eventually you heard The Master get up from the chair and quietly exit your room, closing the door silently so as not to wake you. Once you heard him leave, you burst into tears again. You didn’t want him to leave. You wanted him to stay with you. You wanted him to hold you. But you were still very angry and scared. You loved him, but you were scared that his actions and your subsequent reactions might cause The Master to ask you to leave.
You heard your door reopen and you tried to stop your tears, but you were unsuccessful. The Master climbed into the other side of the bed and hesitantly moved to rest his head on your back like his did in the shower.
“Where did you go?”
“To my room to change into pajamas.”
“I was afraid that you would take me home.” The Master’s arms tightened around you.
“Do you want to go home?”
“No!” You said your response rather quickly and loudly compared to the previously quiet conversations, you continued with a more reasonable tone. “How are we going to work through this, Master? You said that you would never hurt me.”
“I know.”
“So why did you?” You cried harder at your own question.
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. I waited so long to hold you, to actually experience your love. You can’t leave me now. We can make it through this, Y/N.”
“I can leave whenever I want to.”
“But I’m pleading for you to not leave me. You said that you didn’t want to leave. I promise that we can figure this out!” He was rambling now, his hold on you growing tighter and tighter. You struggled but managed to rip his arms from you. You turned to face him before he could grab hold of you again. You saw how red his eyes were, and you brought your hands up to hold his face, rubbing circles on his cheeks.
“We can make it past this right?” You placed your forehead against his and he wrapped his arms around you again.
“As long as we both want to work it out, I believe that we can make it past this.” You nodded and brushed your nose against his. He cracked a small smile and leant in to kiss you. It was a soft, small kiss. You could sense how tentatively The Master was acting, the full weight of how random his actions had been today, constantly flipping between soft regret and possessive love. You ended the kiss, but placed a soft kiss to his cheek before readjusting your bodies so you were laying on The Master’s chest, giving him access to hold you comfortably throughout the night. The two of you eventually fell asleep, happy to get some rest after the trying day, choosing to focus on your love for each other and not your differences in character.
#sacha dhawan#dhawan!master#dhawan!master imagine#dhawan!master x reader#the master imagine#the master x reader#doctor who#doctor who imagine#doctor who x reader#fanfiction#request#personal post#anon
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I know you have a lot to write, but I do have one request. I dont normally do that, so if it's not good or something just let me know. But I had this idea. A Bucky and Reader, where they are together for a while and she wants to ask Bucky to move in with her. But Bucky has uncertainties about their relationship and is thinking to actually break up with the reader. I want there to be angst but I don't know how it would end... Whether a fluff ending or an angst one I don't mind :)
This is a wonderful request and I loved doing it! Not gonna lie - it took me a little out of my element. I had to sit and have a long, hard think about how to approach it and do it justice, but I think I may have cracked it. Hopefully you enjoy it!
From Now On - Communication
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Words: 5k
Warnings: Swearing, ANGST!, Mentions of death/murder, Little Fluff, Sam being a really great friend.
Author’s Note: I loved this request so much! Nothing I love more than an angsty Bucky and some miscommunication!
I loved doing this, so please people. Send me more requests!
***
“I think I’m gonna break up with (Y/N).” There. He’d said it. It had been on his mind all week long. He’d kept it tucked away, tried to hide it, but the further he buried it the worse it clawed and scratched at his brain, trying to worm its way out.
“Really? I was thinking about getting a full back tattoo of you riding the cap shield like a surfboard,” grunted Sam, working his way through the last of his set of bicep curls.
“What?” Bucky asked in confusion, looking to his partner.
Sam shrugged, standing and placing the heavy dumbbell back in its place, “Well, I just figured since we were saying stupid shit today, I’d join in.”
“Sam, I’m being serious here man.”
“Oh, I know you are, Tinman. That’s why I think you’ve lost your god damn mind. Why would you want to break up with (Y/N)? She’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to you—” Sam walked across the gym, grabbing his water bottle before making his way to Bucky “—I mean, I still can’t understand how you landed her. She’s way too good for you.”
“I know!” The words came out more raucous and forceful than he intended. Sinking down onto a nearby bench, Bucky braced his elbows on his knees, letting his head hang low, “I know. That’s the problem. She’s too good for me.”
“Don’t tell me this is another one of those ‘Poor me. I’m too broken and damaged for her to love me.’ things. Because if it is, I’m gonna’ have to kick your ass,” said Sam, raising an eyebrow at the sulking man in front of him.
“No, no. It’s not that—”
“You know I’ll do it.”
“I know and it’s not—well it’s a little bit of that but—I just…”
“What? Is she too pretty? Too smart? Too nice? Too eager to put up with your shit?”
“No! It’s none of that!” shouted Bucky, beginning to wonder why he ever thought to confide in the irritating man in front of him. Oh right – because he didn’t have any other friends.
“Then what is it?” Sam asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“She wants to break up with me, but she’s too nice to just pull the trigger. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Bucky stood, grabbing his towel and stalking towards the water fountain—his anger and irritation manifesting in the physical need to move.
Sam, hot on his heel, followed him, leaning against the wall as Bucky bent to get a drink. The cool water sent icy chills though his body as it flowed down his throat. “Did she tell you this? Did you physically hear her say that?”
“No, but I’m not an idiot, Sam. I know when a dame is trying to end things without really ending them. As much as people like to think ghosting is a new concept, it’s really not. In fact, if anything it was easier for gals to just disappear and avoid you in the 40s than it is now. Either way – you eventually get the message.” As much as he hoped the cold water would cool him down, his anger continued to bubble. Anger not for Sam. Not even for you. But for himself. This was his fault after all. He scared you off.
Bucky sighed, continuing to stare down at the waterspout below him, the water flowing crystal clear, swirling around the basin and disappearing down the drain, “She’s been avoiding me. She won’t answer my calls. Barely calls me back. When I do happen to get ahold of her, she’s short. Tries to end the call as quickly as possible. I was supposed to come over last night and she cancelled on me. She never cancels on me.”
“Have you tried being direct with her? Asking her what’s going on?” asked Sam, his tone softer, kinder now that he understood the full extent of the situation.
“Yea. She keeps insisting that nothing’s going on. But I—I know she’s lying. Lying about something! I mean, you don’t do what we do for a living and not know when people are lying straight to your face.”
Running a hand over his cropped hair, he looked to Sam for help. As much as they liked to give each other shit, he had begrudgingly come to rely on his partner for the things he used to rely on Steve for. Friendship. Companionship. Emotional support. All that sappy shit. Much to his annoyance, Sam was really good at it too. All the sappy shit.
“Look, I don’t wanna’ pry man, but did something…happen?”
“Yea. I told her about Riga.”
***
The moment kept playing over and over again in your head. Repeating on a continuous loop for the past week. It had started out like any other night – Bucky was sleeping over. He did that a lot recently. Not that you minded. It just meant you got to spend more time with your wonderful boyfriend. You liked having him there. In your space. His familiar presence was becoming a consistent and habitual aspect of your life. Wake up – Bucky. Go to work – Bucky. Get home – Bucky. Go to sleep – Bucky. Some might consider it excessive, but to you it was wonderful. Never had you felt more at ease with someone else.
“Thanks again for letting me sleep here doll,” said Bucky, pulling back the covers on what you had begun to consider his side of the bed. The mattress dipped under his weight, pulling your body towards him. You allowed yourself to roll into his side, draping an arm across his bare abdomen.
You hummed in response, burying your face into the crook of his chest. Wrapping his flesh arm around your shoulders, he pulled you in tight. You felt the firm press of his lips to the top of your head as he inhaled your scent. The heat of a contented sigh brushed across your scalp, causing baby hairs to tickle your face.
“It’s a hell of a lot better than my place.”
“Why’s that?” you asked, tracing patterns across the plains of his chest.
“Ehh, upstairs neighbors. I can always hear them walking around,” answered Bucky.
“Too loud?”
Bucky was quiet. His body stiffened under yours and for a moment, you wondered if you had said something wrong. “No. They’re not too loud. I just—”
He stopped, struggling to get the words out.
“Hey—” you laid your palm flat against his chest and rubbed the warm skin firmly “—you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“I want to—”
“But?”
“It’s not like how you’d think. The memories.” Oh. You held your breath, listening patiently as the conversation turned to a subject you didn’t expect. “Most assume that I remember the things I’ve done the way you’d remember any other moment. But, for so many years I was just a prisoner in my own body. Watching as someone else pulled the trigger, over and over again. When I remember things – it’s like I’m someone else. Like I’m watching myself from the outside.”
You continued to stay silent, rubbing your hand back and forth across his chest soothingly as you took in his words. Seventy years. Seventy years a prisoner in his own body. So much so that his subconscious had a hard time connecting the things he did with the person he was. “It was my first missions. A journalist in Riga was getting a little too nosy for Hydra’s liking. I was sent in to take care of him. Then cover it up – make it look like an accident. It was simple. Quick. Something to test if I was ready to be sent into the field. I shot him and his wife in their dining room. I remember watching as I walked around their bodies. Just stepping over them like they were nothing. The house was small and old, and the floorboards creaked. My mission was to burn the house and the bodies. I grabbed a can of gas from the shed in the backyard. A box of matches from the kitchen.”
His voice remained steady, but you could feel the strain and guilt he carried emanate from his body.
“I never noticed the cracks in the floorboards. Turns out they had two children hiding in the crawl space below the floor.”
“Oh Bucky…did they?” You couldn’t say it. Your hand stilled.
“No. They managed to get out, after I left. But Hydra found them a few days later and finished the job,” said Bucky bitterly.
“Bucky – that’s not your fault. You know that, right?” Looking up at him from where you laid, you were met with the turn of his head. Unwilling to look you in the eye.
“No, I didn’t kill them, but only because I didn’t know they were there. If I did…I honestly don’t know. And they—they watched me kill their parents. They sat under those floorboards and listened to me walk over their dead parents with no remorse. No regret. Scared out of their minds that they’d be next. Every time I hear those footsteps above me, I can’t help but think about them. It’s like I’m in that crawlspace with them, waiting for the monster come and get me. But I’m—I’m the monster (Y/N).”
You felt a wetness pool on the top of your head, a small warm trickle you quickly recognized as tears. Bucky’s tears. Sitting up, you pulled his body into your lap. He followed without argument, clinging to you desperately, as the tears continued to flow. Rocking him back and forth you did your best to soothe him. Whispering sweet promises and assurances that you were there. That he wasn’t a monster. That that person wasn’t him then and it wasn’t him now. You knew that self-loathing lived within his soul, but never did you realize the depths to which it burrowed and festered until that moment. So disgusted and ashamed of the things his body had been forced to do, his mind had constructed a world in which he was both the victim and the perpetrator. What it must be like – to be afraid of yourself, to be your own nightmare, to be the thing that kept you up at night – you could never imagine. Never could you truly know the extent to which he suffered, but you did know one thing.
You couldn’t let Bucky continue to stay in a place that caused him so much pain.
After that night, you’d began your preparations. You honestly had no idea why it had taken you this long to consider it. You already enjoyed having Bucky constantly in your space. You loved him. Neither of you had said the words yet, but you know you did. To a certain extent you believed that he loved you back as well. He would have never borne himself to you like that if he didn’t. The two of you had been together for a while now anyways. Your apartment was on the top floor. No upstairs neighbors. Asking him to move in with you was the logical next step. The only issue was that Bucky was a proud man. If you asked him to move in with you the morning after his confession, he would expect that it was done out of pity and most likely refuse. That was far from what you wanted. You wanted him to know that you were serious. That you genuinely wanted him there with you.
So began your purge of all unnecessary items – making room for Bucky and anything he might want to make the space feel more like his own. Steve had left some things behind – relics of their past lives that you knew were important to Bucky. Such as an old record player, a desk and chair, a radio. They were things that made him feel a little less out of his element. Unfortunately, you had accumulated a lot of, well for lack of a better word – crap—over the years and the job had turned out to be a lot tougher than you originally expected. Hauling boxes of dusty knick-knacks, bags of clothes, and even a few items of furniture down from your 4th story walk up was no easy job. Wanting to ask him the big question as soon as possible – you spent what little time you had after work clearing and organizing your apartment to a neurotic level. You were exhausted. Exhausted and honestly a little crazy.
Every day harbored a new anxiety that he would say no. That you had done all this work for him to say that he wasn’t ready for this step. However, the rational part of your brain pushed the nagging thought away. If he didn’t like you or your apartment, he wouldn’t spend so much time there. Plus, the more perfect you made the space for him, the less likely he was to say no.
The worst part of it all though, was the lying to him. You were an awful liar. So bad, in fact, that you were known to ruin presents, surprise parties, and on occasion your friends’ ability to tell you secrets. The bigger a secret was, the harder it was for you to keep it. Therefore, you’d been keeping your interactions with Bucky to a minimum. The whole thing had almost toppled over onto you when you forgot he was supposed to come over for dinner and movies that Wednesday night. When he’d left a message telling you he was leaving work in five, you panic called him and told him you had to cancel, leaving him with a vague and certainly awful excuse. Seeing your apartment in shambles would certainly give away your surprise.
But it was only a week, you told yourself. You only needed to hold out for a week. You were meeting him for dinner that night and then you’d ask him. If he said no, you’d take him over to your apartment and prove to him you were serious. If he said yes, then you’d still take him over to your apartment and surprise him with all the hard work you’d done.
Preparing to meet Bucky for dinner, you checked your makeup one last time in the mirror before turning back to your apartment. Taking a second to look around the space, you were pleased with your work. The place looked fantastic. It was clean top to bottom. Empty spaces sat throughout for Bucky to move his things into. A blank spot on the far wall of the apartment was left for his record player. The spare bedroom had a wall free for his desk next to yours. The bookshelf had two whole rows for him to fill with books of his own. You’d cleared out half of your closet and dresser for him to put his clothes. The top of the fridge sat empty for him to place his radio. You could almost image him sitting at the little kitchen table, listening to it on Saturday mornings.
Checking your purse, you smiled at the small box where a spare key sat, a single piece of ribbon tied around it in a bow. Maybe it was a bit much, but Bucky meant enough to you, for you to make the effort. You were meeting Bucky at his favorite pizza place in Brooklyn. You had it all planned out. You’d order his favorite pizza, a few beers, and then you’d take out the box once you finished your food. Wiping your hands on the skirt of your dress, you took a deep breath. You could do this. Nervous energy coursed through your body as you walked down the flights of stairs and onto the city streets. You were only a block away from your apartment when your phone buzzed. Pulling it out, the sight of Sam’s name took you by surprise.
“Hey Sam, what’s up?” you asked, answering on the second ring.
“Hey! (Y/N)! Not much, just checking in on you. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Just wanted to see how you were doing,” said Sam casually.
“Oh, that’s so sweet Sam. Sorry I’ve been so radio silent lately, but I’m doing good! I’m actually on my way to meet Bucky for pizza,” you told him as you briefly looked both ways before crossing the street.
“Yea, about that. You know, if you ever wanted to talk about anything, I’m here. You can talk to me. I’m not just Bucky’s friend. I’m yours too.”
“Wow, well that’s really sweet Sam.” The sentiment was really sweet, albeit a tad weird and out of place, but sweet, nonetheless. Maybe he was feeling sentimental? Perhaps he was a bit hurt that you’d been MIA for the last week not just from Bucky, but from him as well. Should you tell him what you had planned? It might make him happy to know the secret before you told Bucky. Plus, there was no way he could spoil the surprise. You were telling Bucky in the next hour or so anyways.
“Actually – Sam. There is something I wanted to tell you.”
“Really?” he asked in surprise.
“Yea, I’ve been trying to keep a low profile this past week because it’s a surprise and I’m such a bad liar, but I trust you not to spill the beans,” you joked as you neared the pizza place.
“Okay…” Sam said slowly.
“I’m asking Bucky to move in with me tonight!” you practically yelled it, the excitement bubbling over.
“What?!”
“Yea! I know, it’s exciting! I’m just worried about whether he’ll say yes or not, ya know? It’s a big step, but I just feel so secure in this relationship and I care for him so much.”
“(Y/N)—”
Spotting Bucky standing outside of the restaurant, you spoke quickly into the phone, “Oh! I see Bucky now. I have to go! I’ll text you later.”
You could hear Sam’s voice from the other end but didn’t quite catch what he said as you hung up and skipped over to Bucky. Flinging yourself into his arms, you hugged him tightly, leaning back to place a quick peck to his lips, “Hey babe!”
He seemed confused when he looked at you, carefully placing his hands on your waist, “Hey.”
“Let’s go inside, I’m starving!”
The dinner was more tense than the meals you usually shared. You found yourself at a loss for words continuously throughout the night. Everything he said, everything you said, heck everything you thought led your brain to the subject of him moving in. Five times, you’d almost slipped up and called it ‘our’ apartment. You were pathetic! Bucky also seemed to be battling something, but you assumed it was mostly likely a response to the weird vibes you were giving off. When the waitress had cleared the tables, you were struck by a wave of nerves. This was it. This was the moment. Reaching into your purse beside you, your fingers closed around the small box and pulled it out, keeping it hidden beneath the table.
Opening your mouth to begin the small speech you had practiced in the mirror that morning, you were stopped by Bucky.
“Listen, (Y/N). There’s something I wanted to talk to you about actually.”
Looking up at him, you found him staring intently down at his hands. You pivoted your body back towards him, “What’s up?”
Bucky sighed, heavily, “I…this isn’t working anymore, (Y/N).”
“What’s not working?” you asked dumbly, unable to comprehend the words he was saying.
“This—” he motioned between the two of you “You and me.”
“I don’t—I don’t understand. Why—”
“Let’s not pretend, (Y/N). I think it’s pretty clear that we’re not happy here.” You weren’t? Searching through your memories, you tried to understand how you had missed when he became unhappy. Was it when you bored him with your lame reality TV? Was it when you fell asleep too early on Friday nights? Or was it when he noticed your propensity to talk too loudly at parties? Or the way you left coffee stains on his copy of the Sunday Times every week? Perhaps it was simply in the moments when you weren’t looking – too engrossed in your own happiness to notice when his own had faded.
Swallowing thickly, you chose your words carefully, trying to keep your composure in the highly public place, “Well, if that’s how you feel, then maybe we should end this.”
You wouldn’t beg him. You wouldn’t beg and plead with him the way you truly wanted to. The last thing you wanted was to guilt him into staying in a relationship where he wasn’t happy. A short and bitter laugh escaped Bucky, the sound like sharp and jagged glass digging into every inch of your body.
“Yea, I think that’s for the best,” said Bucky coldly.
***
Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. It was almost comical how quickly you had agreed with him. It only proved his theory. Things were over between the two of you and you didn’t have the guts to end it. Probably due to pity. Nobody wanted to dump the sad, damaged guy. He watched as you stood suddenly, the movement catching him off guard. At the very least, he expected some kind of pity goodbye – an empty promise to remain friends, a stiff hug with a pat on the back. But the desperate confusion on your face as your eyes darted around the restaurant were not what he expected.
“I um, I have to—I’m just gonna—I’m just gonna go, I guess,” you rambled, voice thick and wavering at the end.
“(Y/N)?” he asked in confusion, standing himself.
“I’m sorry, I just have to—” you ended your sentence, turning from him and darting through the restaurant and out the doors. Bucky stood there, staring at where your figure had disappeared around the corner. He had thought for sure that this was what you wanted. But if that was true, then why did you seem so upset? Why had he seen tears in your eyes as you ran from him? Did you not want to break up? You must have – you agreed to it so easily. So quickly. Throwing cash down on the table, he was halfway to the door when a server stopped him.
“Excuse me, sir – I think your friend dropped this.”
A small red box was placed in his hand, no bigger than a coin envelope and feather light. Thin white ribbon wrapped around the center tightly, forming a lopsided bow. He stared at the strange object in his hand. What could this possibly be? And why did (Y/N) have it? Exiting the restaurant, he leaned against the side of the building and pulled on the ribbon.
At the sight of the contents of the box, his stomach dropped. A small white card sat at the top:
No more nightmares. Live with me instead?
Picking up the card, adorned with your messy, looping script he spotted the silver key that sat below.
Fuck.
Racing down the streets, he’d never been more grateful for his super-soldier stamina and speed. He reached you just as you were getting out of a cab outside your building. Tears streaked down your face, makeup running and eyes red.
“(Y/N)!”
You turned, nearly tripping over your own feet as you did, “Bucky, what are you doing here?”
“I’m an idiot.”
“What?” you asked, bringing a hand up to hurriedly wipe at your face.
“I’m an idiot,” he said again, pulling the box from his pocket and holding it out to you.
“Oh my god,” you muttered, opening your purse frantically to see that the box was in fact not there but in his hand. “This is so embarrassing. You can—I can take that, and we can just forget—”
“Why did you agree?”
“Why did I agree to what?” you asked in confusion.
“Why did you agree to break up when you were going to ask me to move in?” he asked, stepping towards you.
“You said you weren’t happy. I’m not going to beg you to stay with me if you’re unhappy. I love you way too much to do that.”
You continued to talk, but the words drowned out as his brain processed what you’d just said. You loved him. You loved him and you wanted him to move in with you, and he had just broken up with him. He was a fucking idiot.
Your voice came back into the foreground of his mind, swelling to full volume, “And I really don’t understand why you raced all the way here to—”
He cut you off, leaning down and capturing your lips with his. You were soft, sweet, and completely all-encompassing–just like always. His heart convulsed in his chest when you leaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. He kissed you harder, putting everything he had into that one kiss. The one kiss he could give to say ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. Please forgive me’. Pulling away, he rested his forehead to yours, breathing raggedly as he held you tight. Arms wrapped impossibly tight around your middle, fingers digging into your clothes, not an inch of space between the two of you. Hell would freeze over before he let you go.
“I’m not unhappy (Y/N). The only time I am happy is when I’m with you. I love you so much. I don’t wanna’ lose you,” he confessed, feeling the back of his throat constrict and the tears in his eyes begin to form.
“Then why?”
“I thought you wanted to break up with me. I was trying to make things easier for you.”
Pulling away from him, you thwacked him across the chest, “Why in the world would you think I wanted to break up with you James Buchanan Barnes?”
He felt dumb, but he also felt slightly justified when he answered, “I told you about Riga, and then you pretty much disappeared on me for a week (Y/N). What was I supposed to think?”
“You were supposed to believe what I told you, you big dummy! That I didn’t think it was your fault. That you’re not a monster. That I’m here for you!” you said, pacing in front of him. You looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world, and he felt like it too. But he couldn’t help but smile. You loved him. You didn’t think he was a monster. Hell, you still cared enough about him to yell at him and tell him when he was being an idiot.
“Can I still move in?” he asked lamely, unsure of what else to say. He waited on edge as you sighed and tilted your head back. Sniffing away the tears and emotions, you shook your head in exasperation.
“I mean, if I say no, then the sheer amount of work I put in this week to get this apartment ready for you, would be for nothing,” you sighed, smiling at him wryly.
“You’ve been getting it ready?”
“Of course!” you exclaimed. “What do you think I’ve been doing this whole week I’ve been MIA? I had to practically force myself to avoid you so I wouldn’t accidentally tell you what I’ve been up to.”
You began to walk towards the front entrance of your building, leaving him to stare at your retreating figure in a dumbfounded stupor. Man, he really felt like an idiot.
“Well?” you asked, turning back to him, “Are you coming or what?”
The whirling sound of wind halted his answer. A roar swept through the air as a gust picked up around them. Looking up in confusion, Bucky was greeted by the sight of Sam in full falcon gear flying towards them before landing on the sidewalk in front of him.
“Wait! Stop! I need—I have to tell—don’t—” he panted “Hold on. I need a minute.” Bracing his hands on his knees, he breathed heavily, catching his breath.
“Sam? What are you doing here?” Bucky asked Sam, “And why are you out of breath? You were using the suit. That takes absolutely no cardio.”
“I couldn’t use the suit to fly to every pizza joint in Brooklyn. It only has so much juice Terminator. I had to run a couple hundred blocks with the suit on.”
You had made your way to his side again by now, intertwining your fingers with his as you both looked at Sam.
“Why were you running between every pizza joint in Brooklyn?” Bucky asked, still unsure why his partner and friend was standing before them in a manic state.
“Because! You’re about to make a stupid mistake, you asshat and I’m trying to stop you before—” he stopped. Looking between the two of you and then at your intertwined fingers. “Wait. You didn’t?” he asked Bucky, trying to communicate with his eyes without alerting you.
“I did,” Bucky sighed, looking down at you apologetically.
“But you’re?” Sam motioned between the two of you with a finger, trying to piece it all together.
“I may have told him over the phone that I was asking you to move in, right before I met you for dinner,” you told him, a guilty expression on your face. Ahhh, that made sense.
“Unfortunately, you’re a bit late to the big, unfortunate scene. We hashed it out. I’m moving in,” Bucky laughed.
“But it was very sweet of you to come all the way out here to try and stop it from happening Sam!” you called to him, giving him an apologetic smile.
“Are you kidding me?! I came all the way out—I tried—You know what—” Sam held up his hands in good-natured defeat “—I’m happy for the two of you. But from now on COMMUNICATION. Falcon out.”
With that, he extended his wings, taking off and disappearing beyond the city scape within a matter of moments.
“I thought he was Captain America now?” you asked, light heartedly.
“Only when he has the shield. When he wears the wings, he insists on calling himself Falcon still,” he informed you, turning with you as you both began to walk back towards the front entrance of your building.
“Interesting…well, ready to go home?” The words from your lips, made him lift – lighter than air as he pulled the key from the box in his pocket and placed it into the lock.
“Yea, let’s go home.”
Marvel Taglist:
@caffiend-queen
@hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall
#request#request fill#fan fic#fan fiction#bucky#angst#bucky barnes#marvel#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#fluff#sam being a really good friend
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How anyone has the time to worry about lack of Sobbe when they are literally sabotaging every other character that’s appearing on screen right now is beyond me.
The lengths they are going to with their character assassinations in order to get their young white girl audience to demonise the main for something she shouldn’t be demonised for is unbearable to watch.
I honestly think this last clip has me bowing out. Need to live in my S2-Wtfockdown bubble.
similar anon: You think Veerle was ok with this? They're killing Zoë's character!
So funny enough I dont think zoe is out of character in some of this exchange but then she is in other parts.I always say this you have to go back to the fact that every one is 17/18 here so there isnt much thought into the idea of the bigger picture and what that means in society. Firstly privacy is a misnomer. In our society privacy does not exist, everything you say or do can be back traced to you and can come to bite you in the ass if you had troublesome povs at a certain age but educated yourself as you grew up they follow you. I guess for me I always ask is the person that got caught out speaking out of their ass sadden about their remarks? or are they sad they got caught?? Considering we saw Britt's reaction to the messages its clear she is sadden she got caught. She may not in retrospect as of today feel that way because everyone is coming at her throwing stones but thats because her actions have had consequences and now she feels remorse for what she said.
Also "gossip" has consequences in the adult world. I always say if your ready to gossip about someone you better be ready for them to pull you up on it. If not you're just a snake. Also gossip has destroyed people's lives and careers so gossip isnt just gossip for gossip sake and for people being like oh but she is in high school she should be given slack. Sure, I agree with that but also look at the parallel of badr?? high school youths are prone to fall into dark thoughts before they ask for help. Gossip has literally been the undoing of young people so be aware gossip could lead to futile outcomes. Now to Zoe. I dont expect a 18 yr girl to understand this. She just feels empathy for britt because of course no one wants to see someone in pain but she also doesnt know the context of everything that we know about britt. She knows how britt made Robbe feel but she doesnt know that she basically told him on the night he lost his virginity that he didnt mean shit to Sander. Like imagine hearing that when you just slept with someone you were positive cared about you and then someone tells you that you mean nothing to them?? Especially being gay the first time you sleep with someone it can be so nerve racking and a very physical experience and for her to make such a special moment so dark is horrible. Also Zoe doesnt realize that Britt has been fueling this islamophobia towards yasmina for sometime. These sentiments arent new and britt has spread them for awhile she is just sad now she got caught. I get that am an adult and accountability at a younger age is a bit of a moving target as you get to know yourself but this is a hard lesson learnt for britt and in many ways its better she learn it now then years down the line when she is married, has kid or has a real job. Learn to be authentically yourself and take accountability of who you are in text as well as in person. Because if you don't the price you'll pay for your fuck ups will be world crushing.
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full offense, because i care very little about this website anymore, but people who completely and consciously refuse at providing ooc communication should be kicked out of this community. there should be a certaint rulebreaker that doesnt allow people past a certaint point with this. there should be a message that pops up over their blog with something like ''buddy, you fucked up now'' in massive blinding lights and automatically kicks them out of the website. also, this rant was overdue.
im not talking about people who struggle with anxiety regarding communicating out of character, im talking about people who can communicate properly and weaponize the fuck out of it. social/online anxiety, bad news i know, isnt shitting on someone in a group chat while having complete power to communicate to them ''hey, this x thing that happened/that you said rubbed me the wrong way, can we talk about it?'', but choosing to withdraw any form of communication to stir some drama because youre thirsty for it. social/online anxiety isn't failing so badly at communicating that even YOU cannot accept it and unload the blame on someone else completely just because you feel like this is the right thing to do. REAL socially anxious people are in the rpc community and they are doing their best to reach out to people to form friendships and meaningful relationships. imagine having the power and the abilities to communicate properly, but withholding it all because youre on a sick power trip and want to shit as much as possible over the other person just because of a slight you perceived was done towards you. when this happens, you don't moan and whine about said perceived slight: you move your ass, gather your maturity and go talk to the other person about it. if it wasnt intentional youll receive an apology and a promise to do better, and if it was intentional or the person did it in a malicious light? call them the fuck out. warn others. make a fucking storm up so they will run away in shame. but at least you will have done the correct thing: communicating.
as i talked about it before over my dualscar blog, even if on another topic, this is a community hobby: it means that we are all conjoining energies to make ourselves and everyone else a fun time by communicating with eachother. i assume that everyone that joins here, or has been on tumblr for a long time, knows that ooc communication is a necessary thing to have a pleasant experience. there's a problem? we talk about it. something happens that causes anxiety? we talk about it! it should be this simple. this should be a source of solid comfort for other people. knowing that they are more than their own muses and knowing that the other person on the other side of the screen will reach out if they are upset at them, so the problem can be tackled out. i had a few traumatic experiences based on ooc communication that shaped up how much i oocly contact others: i have been blamed for being too attached to ooc communication when the other person completely and utterly failed to communicate their share and left me to shoulder it all. i have been withheld big time ooc communication until i talked about it, and gaslight into ''but if you asked me for more ooc communication i would have used it! xd'' when in reality it wasnt true, etc. man, i have been shunned so fucking much for valueing ooc communication as i do and i can see why, today. most of the people im talking about also shadily changed names to not be recognized by these days so lol!
because ooc is a powerful tool of communication, it will be weaponized from malicious people in order to stir up drama and to have both positive and negative attentions drawn on them. it will be withheld just to make the one doing it feel powerful and make their victim feel bad. anything that will be shifted from people who believe of themselves as ''blameless'' and ''the true victims'' will be shifted into the person who just wants to have a safer experience with communication. people will literally thing ''i know i am to blame for this, but let me flip it all around or ill shatter like a mirror because i cannot face responsabilities and have the maturity of a candy cane'' and shit like this. while im usually a very empathetic person, i see shit like this and i lose it.
if you don't get why ooc communication is important, or have no intentions on changing how you communicate, you are not welcome in the rpc community.
this rant, which will obviously be taken and talked about various malicious trashtalking chatrooms to judge me for it, because this is how ''ooc communication'' is right now, is aimed to be seen by certaint people and give them strenght. i mean to tell them ''you arent alone in having been mistreated over ooc community, c'mere. lemme give you an hug''. this rant is to reassure REAL socially anxious people that i feel for them and dont want uncommunicative fuckfaces to make their experience even worse than what it is already. if you feel called out by this rant, im not up to listen to your excuses and reasons, and if you contact me looking to argue, you're gonna be blocked the moment the sound of your message hits my IMs. if instead you feel called out by this rant and want to know what you did wrong and look for advices to improve, im willing to help you if theres no victimism involved and we can talk like two mature people if you want to get better. im a patient person if you show remorse.
if someone adamantly refused to ooc communicate, manipulates you or shuns you for it, start protecting yourself if you are not ready to call them out.
inform your friends in the most neutral way that you can. ''this person has caused me grief over ooc communication by not using it/weaponizing it against me etc, and has put me into a difficult situation. be careful''. mass block them the moment they try this bullshit over your other pals too. avoid this person until they have nothing left to do but apologize and promise to be better, and once actual progresses are made make sure to have a talk with them to make them understand why this happened and what about this irked you and caused you to react strongly. if there is no remorse or apology, continue avoiding them. people will eventually come around after they are hurt too, and will need you to mend their wounds. people will start listening after it. its all a chain of events that cannot be stopped until the perpetrator of this bullshit stops and looks at their actions.
callouts aren't required.
as a final word, i will say it again: if you cannot recognize that this community is still trying desperately to find comfort in communication and you wanna do your worst to ruin it, do everybody that still has some sanity a favor and leave, because you will not be welcomed unless you radically change how you act.
#;;ooc#ooc drama ;;#wow this got long. and i didnt even said half the shit i wanted to say here#got this off my chest. i doubt that this will cause drama because most of the people i follow abide by this too#and if someone comes at me all angry: i know who they are lmao. like voices dont travel far enough for others to ear#ask to tag ;;
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Venomous Curse ch. 2
Loki x female
Warnings: sexual situations, language, abuse, noncon adult situations.
Chapter 2 Remorse
Alice's eyes flitted open, she was laying in her bed after what had felt like the deepest most peaceful slept she had ever had. Maybe it was due to the fact Conner didn't burst in. Maybe exhaustion just got the better of her.
She got up, showered and dressed for school. Her face swelling was going down and her eye was now turning to shades green and yellow, a sign of healing.
She couldn't really remember yesterday evening. How she got home or what happened. She remembered sitting in the park...and seeing...
"Professor Laufeyson!" She spoke aloud. Her heart beat sped up as she felt her core burn. What in gods name was happening to her? Why did she feel turned on all of the sudden?
She grabbed her back pack and decided to walk to school. The sun hadn't peaked yet and the calm darkness comforted her. She walked at a brisk pace but still enjoyed the silence, before she would have to face everyone for another day of torture.
She got to the school a few minutes early and slipped into the library. It only had a few students in the corner playing some card game. She went to the back and picked up a book on the history of England in the Tudor era, which was one of her favorites. Sitting on an over sized bean bag she began leafing through the pages when the door burst open to the library and a shrill sound assulated everyone's ears.
"Where are you you little fucking slut?!" Selenas voice carried to every corner of the library. Alice kept quiet ignoring it and continued to read. Her heart sank in her chest as she knew she wouldnt be able to escape. Her hands were becoming sweaty at the adrenaline rising in her system.
Selena peaked around a corner then sneered.
"I found you fucking cunt." She marched up to Alice and grabbed her by the nape of her sweater dragging her off the beanbag chair. Alice simply froze, as the triggers led to tears. Selena slapped her across the face causing a small yelp to escape.
"How dare you touch Conner in any way! You stupid bitch!" She roared angrily as she continued to hit her. After the third or fourth hard contact to her head, slice felt herself becoming concussed. Everything going hazy.
"What is the meaning of this?! Miss. Ramos let her go and go see the principle! Miss. Lovelace come with me." A deep voice filled the air causing Selena to drop her. Alice crumpled into a ball on the library floor.
"Miss. Lovelace? Can you hear me?" His voice was fuzzy and going in and out. Alice moaned gently and rolled onto her side. The lights were so bright.
"Miss. Lovelace I am going to pick you up and take you to the nurse. I think you may be concussed. Do I have your permission?" He made sure to say it loud enough for the other students present to hear.
Placing his arms around her he carried her bridal style out of the library and into the nurses station.
"Abigail...I need help." He called out laying her body down.
"Alice? Stay awake please. You can't fall asleep." His hand gently held her cheek.
"Loki? What happened." A thin old woman in a white coat came in.
"Abigail there you are. She was attacked by another student. I think she is concussed. Abby- she is my new blood." Loki mentioned the last sentence in a low hushed tone. The older woman's blonde eyebrows raised in suprise.
"Loki- how long has it been since your last?" She asked as she looked to the poor beaten girl on the table.
"Its been...decades....but that's not important...our bond has just begun, but I believe I can help her."
"Yes yes.... I'll lock the room. Just call the desk phone when you are done." She turned and left without another word. Loki sighed gratefully and closed the door locking it. He moved to the table and leaned over Alice checking to see if she was still conscious.
"Alice? I need to make you better. I- I can help you, but its unconventional...I need to touch your body...do you give me consent?" He spoke gently and his minty breath fanned her face. She had a throbbing headache and opened her eyes a crack to process his words. After a few moments of silence she groaned gently
"Do what you need to." She laid on the table as Loki took his jacket off revealing a pressed button up shirt and black slacks. He rolled his shirt up to his elbows and then gently sat her up removing her sweater. He unbuttoned her shirt and slid it down her arms revealing her chest to him. He could see the bite he had left the night before that was almost healed. He also could see countless bruises and cuts. He gently took her neck and waist in his hands as he kissed at her throat.
"I am going to bite you Alice...itll sting, but I promise it will become much more enjoyable soon." He let his dual fangs extend and sunk them into the crook of her neck, she let out a soft whimper as he began to drink. Jesus christ the feeling she gave him was euphoric. He could feel his cock twitch in his pants painfully erect from her scent and taste.
He only drank a little, just enough to strengthen the bond. He then gently bit his palm and placed it to her mouth. His other hand still holding her up gently grasping the back of her neck.
"Drink Alice...we need to complete the bond today" he spoke softly. Alice opened her mouth and licked at his palm. She could taste his bitter blood and wrinkled her nose. She drank only a few drops before it was too much. She felt herself growing increasingly turned on.
"L-Loki I dont feel any better." She slurred out.
"Darling...I need to be intimate with you in order to finish this process and heal you...do I have your permission?" He spoke in a hushed husky tone in her ear. He knew she was aroused. He could feel her heart beat picking up. When they were complete in bonding he would feel every emotion she had and she would feel his.. it was what made the bond special. She would be his forever. The over powering scent of her arousal caused him to groan and try to readjust himself.
"Do I have your permission?" He asked again not trying to push.
"Y-yes." She spoke breathlessly. Loki immediately freed himself from his trousers and pulled her underwear to the side exposing her sweetness to him. He sank into her to the hilt sucking in air as he became overwhelmed with emotions. The bond was completed. Alice moaned out as she felt herself changing. She was becoming more clear headed. The concussion slipping away. She looked down to see Loki biting his lip his cock buried fully in her.
"Alice...now that you are level headed and the bond complete....I need to ask again. Are you okay with this? Or would you prefer me to stop?" Tears slid down her cheeks as she began to tremble.
"I-I" she hiccuped. Lokis face turned to one of anguish.
"Shhh it's okay. I'll stop my darling....we need to talk and now is probably the best time." He gently slipped out of her and groaned internally. His cock was a light purple from lack of release. He pushed it back into his pants and handed her back her sweater.
"What are you?" Alice was the first to break the silence. As she buttoned her shirt and pulled her sweater back on over her head.
"Uh...I am called many things...I believe the most recent name is a succubus. I get energy from extracting it through...different means from others."
"And this bond?" She asked again breaking the silence.
"Uh..well contrary to most beliefs, succubi do not enjoy sleeping with everyone....we bond to a certain person who calls to us. And we are bonded for life...I can...feel your emotions and you can feel mine...the bond becomes stronger with every time we mate or whenever you allow me to feed..." he chose his words carefully staring at her with his arms crossed.
"And I am now bonded to you? What if I dont want to be?" She asked her eyes flicking up to meet his.
"Well...it would break my heart...being rejected within a bond can cause many negative effects, but ultimately it leads to death of one or both bonded individuals." He didn't hide the hurt in his eyes. She felt a slight pang in her chest. It must have been from him, it was such a strange sensation to be the cause of sadness within yourself.
"Professor-"
"Please, when we are alone call me Loki..."
"Loki- I don't know if this is what I want...I- have a lot going on with Conner and school and-and I dont even know you!" She gushed forward as she stared right into his green eyes.
"I am aware it is overwhelming Alice, but now, with this bond I can protect you...keep you safe..we dont have to be intimate if you wish not to be...I- I can see some of your memories and I understand completely." His voice was soothing but she wrapped her arms around her middle trying to hide the trembling.
"You-youve seen my memories? You have watched my life like an open book before you and I dont even know you.." she was becoming increasingly upset.
Loki sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This is not how he wanted this to go.
"Alice please, we dont have to do anything you aren't comfortable with until you are fully ready....but this bond...it doesnt go away...it will only make you sick if you fight it...I will tell you anything you want to know. I will woo you and we can even go on dates if you prefer all until you are comfortable with me...I didn't mean to be intrusive...the bonding just shows me a great deal about who I bond with...I was hurt and you were wanting and willing to help." he looked to her with semi-pleading eyes. She could feel the tightness in her chest.
"You are my professor! I am your student! What will others say?" She was incredibly opposed to this bond, but she could literally feel the hurt of trying to reject him.
"You are almost done with school." He countered before moving from the counter to stand infront of her.
"Alice...I'm so sorry if you didn't want this, but it's too late now..." he spoke softly before cupping her cheek. She flinched to his touch and he immediately took a step back.
"I'm sorry Professor Laufeyson...I need to go. I've missed class." She stood up and quickly moved past him unlocking the door and bolting out. Loki stood in the doorway horrified at how he had just scared her off. Abigail stood and moved beside him.
"Young man...you know how wounded she is...she will come around, but you must go at her pace. She is scared of being hit not caressed. Of being raped not loved..."
Loki sighed and ran both hands through his hair.
"I'll need to help her see her self worth."
#loki (marvel)#loki fanfic#loki laufeyson#im sorry#loki#slow burn#au#loki au#succubus loki#vampire loki
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Narcissist: what it’s like dating one.
It’s like In the beginning everything Is so great and you’re just thinking like damn ... I think they���re the one for me. You guys laugh together , go on dates , meet the family and everything is so mutual. Well .. that’s until you’re wondering why they are so silent. You go to speak and ask questions and you’re talking to a wall.. you hear nothing. Followed by that is anger and rage and you’re wondering what did I do wrong , oh yeah and not to mention if you already have “what if” anxiety like I do then it’s definitely gonna be kicking you in the ass as to wtf is going on. Oh and by the way ... you’ll forever be stuck with not knowing what caused such behavior. Just go on to the next day and forget about it.
So now it’s the next few days and everything is okay and maybe they talked about what happened a few days back when they lashed out with anger and left you feeling worried but most likely when you guys talked about it was probably just a simple “I just wasn’t in the mood” or “nothing was wrong” or maybe they’ll leave you wondering like my predator did. Well here it is and it’s a good day and you’re with them and a conversation pops up .. maybe this conversation is something simple or maybe it’s more complex and detailed but WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT SAY THEY ARE WRONG! You will get attacked. I mean everyone’s opinion should be valued but not in this predicament. You will be called stupid, wrong and maybe even “you need help” or “are you retarded” might even slip off the tongue... but it’s not that you’re wrong .. it’s just that .. they are always right. You’ll never get your point across and you’ll never be able to conversate without it turning into a yelling match. So now you just walk around with invisible tape on your mouth and your voice is forever lost ... like a mouth with a lock on it and no key.
Now today is a relaxed day around the house. Just that average day where the tv is on and you guys aren’t really watching it and you’re probably just laying around scrolling on your phone. They look over at you and nonchalantly say “you should go to the gym” so and so does it and they look great. Then it’s maybe you should do this and maybe you should do that to look or be like this. Then you look at yourself in the mirror and the confidence you had before you met them melts off your soul and now you’re thinking of ways maybe you could be better. Now from here on out you’re constantly thinking “Am I not good enough” but don’t worry they will say you’re perfect just the way you are but don’t get your hopes up .. this convo will pop up again.
DONT TELL YOUR SECRETS. They are charming when you’re up their ass but when something goes left and you’re not doing what they want ... it WILL be used against you. Publicly too. Remember they are always right so making them look wrong will probably get you slapped by harsh words. You’re now confused and stuck wondering why would they say such a thing... that was the love of my life and they really said that or exposed me. Yup. They sure did. Oh yeah I should’ve told you up front they have no empathy or remorse. Feelings don’t run in their blood. So Kiss your dignity goodbye sweetheart.
They might hurt you or say something you didn’t like but they will and won’t admit to what they said. They will trivialize your brain and make the topic more complex just to make you feel lesser of a person or maybe even question your own knowledge. They are usually guilty of the same things you are but will only have tunnel vision as to what you did. Excuses will be thrown to justify their behavior and they will be the victim and then you’ll just be left thinking “what is wrong with me” . Now they’ve won. Well they always win anyways so what am I even saying.
Number one rule. Simple . Don’t cry or express yourself. You won’t be heard and might even get laughed at. If it’s not about them, it doesn’t matter. Fuck you basically. Move on, you’ll be alright.
Manipulation is key. Don’t do something they don’t want, don’t agree to something they said you will be threatened to get left (single) just don’t make them mad. Even when you want to leave you won’t because you’re scared. Control is their ego. Put the tape back on your mouth brother/sister.
Another simple one.. everything is your fault. Period.
I still love em though. I can’t help it.
Im gonna end this here, if you know someone who suffers from narcissist abuse or think someone should look more into this or maybe someone who doesn’t even know the word share this and tag them. You do not have to go through this. I hope I’m helping somebody or opening a few minds. Just like you .. I didn’t know what was wrong but now I know and I’m not fully happy because I’m still in the relationship and it still goes on BUT my mind knows now and I’m more aware. Tune in for more short blogs❤️
#narcissism#narcissistic abuse#narcissistic personality disorder#physiotherapy#mental illness#mental health#mental disorder#verbal abuse#physical abuse#therapy#love#toxic people#toxiclove#lonely#confidence#anxitey#bipolor#trending now#trend#beauty#fashion#popular
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its not a paring bc that would be gross but if you dont mind doing reverend putty and stephanie from moral orel + number 7 that would be really cool! thank you!
7. “I almost lost you.”
ahhH i did my best !
The only thing on Reverend Putty’s mind right now was panic - the kind of panic that fogged up his mind where he thought nothing and everything all at the same time. He had never known this kind of anxiety. He had been scared before - really, he was scared quite often - but not like this. Never like this.
Nothing had seemed unusual today. He was by himself, quietly eating a meal and relaxing. But his comfort was interrupted when Orel burst into his study, looking frantic and devastated.
"Reverend Putty! Reverend Putty!“ Orel yelled, running up to him. When he got close, Rod could see that there were tears in his eyes.
"Whoa, whoa. Where’s the fire, kid?” Rod asked. Orel took a painful breath as tears began rolling down his cheeks.
"It’s Stephanie, she…she’s hurt, she’s at the hospital, I don’t know what to do. My dad told me and, and they won’t let me see her, I…“ Orel seemed so frazzled, so afraid.
Rod stood up quickly, his meal falling out of his hands. His heart had stopped.
"What happened to her?? Is she okay?” Rod rushed up to Orel and grabbed his shoulders, staring intensely into Orel’s tear filled eyes.
"I don’t know!! I just know that she’s hurt, and my dad said…“ A sudden look of disapproval and disgust crossed onto Orel’s face, and his eyes turned down. "Nevermind what he said about it, he’s not important. But, well…they’ll let you in, and I just…you should see her. I want to know if she’s okay, and I know you probably do, too.” Stephanie had told Orel about her relationship with Rod, and Rod didn’t really mind. Orel was the only one who knew, and he was good at keeping it to himself. He really was a good kid - especially now, telling Rod this.
Rod didn’t need to hear any more. He ran out of the room, rushing as fast as he could to get to his car. His hands stumbled with the keys - he was shaking so badly - but he managed to get it into ignition, not bothering with a seat belt. He sped out of the church, his breath coming out in gasps as he moved his way to the shop. Panic was the only thing on his mind. Was she breathing? How bad was her accident? What did she do? Is she in trouble?
How serious was it?
His car screeched to a halt in front of the hospital. He wasted no time - immediately, he flung open the door and forcefully pushed it shut, running to the doors of the hospital and making his way inside. He slammed his hands on the information desk, startling Nurse Bendy, who had just been painting her toenails and now had a fine red streak down her foot.
"Ugh! Look what you made me do!“ She whined in disapproval.
"Where’s Stephanie?”
“I don’t even have any nail polish remover…this really sucks,” Nurse Bendy mumbled. Rod banged a fist on the counter, making Bendy jump and stare up at Rod with confusion.
"Where the hell is my daughter?“ Rod said frantically. Nurse Bendy’s eyes widened.
"Daughter…?”
“Stephanie!! Come on, please!”
“I didn’t know she was your–”
“Nursula!!!” Rod cried out, his panic only growing every second he wasn’t with Stephanie. Nurse Bendy now saw just how serious the Reverend was being. And there was no way she wasn’t going to be serious too.
"‘Kay, uh…room 2D. Just go right in.“
Rod didn’t wait around any longer. He ran into the hospital and up to the second floor, his heart pounding as he ran past room 2A, 2B, 2C…
He flung open the door to 2D.
Stephanie was laying down, half of her face bandaged. She didn’t appear to be conscious. The fear got worse. Quickly, Rod turned to look at the heart monitor. Her heartbeat was a little unsteady, but it didn’t look awful. Some of the fear left.
"Stephanie?” Rod tried quietly.
He didn’t get an answer. He walked closer to her, his heart sinking at the sight of her looking so broken.
“Steph?” He tried again. With a quiet groan, Stephanie opened her uncovered eye, blinking tiredly at Rod. Rod sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.
“5 more minutes,” Stephanie mumbled before flashing Rod a soft smile.
"What happened? Are you okay? Are you in any pain?“ Rod asked frantically. Stephanie sighed quietly, looking up at the ceiling.
"Just a piercing gun accident. My hand kinda slipped, and it, uh…nicked me quite a bit. Was trying for another one on the eyebrow. But it’s not bad,” Stephanie looked back over to Rod, and her expression shifted to remorse as she saw the worry on her father’s face. “I’m fine. Really. I’m okay.”
"I didn’t know what you did, I…“ Rod stuttered out stupidly. There was a pause - Stephanie had no idea what to do with this.
"Well, uh…I’m okay, so–”
“I thought…” Rod breathed slowly, feeling uncomfortably tense. “I almost lost you.”
“Hey. Hey, no. It’s fine. Just an accident. No near death experiences,” Stephanie said quietly. “But I gotta say, this is a first.”
Rod looked up at her, raising an eyebrow.
“Didn’t really think that anyone beside the kid really cared. I think most of the people think that it’s good that I’m hurt so I don’t spread…I don’t know, witchcraft? Lesbianism? $5.00 anal beads?” She chuckled lightheartedly, but Rod didn’t laugh at all. All he could think of was the look in Orel’s eyes when he thought of what his father had said about Stephanie’s accident. Would he really say something like that..?
“The people here are unbelievable. They don’t even know you,” Rod said quietly. Weakly, Stephanie shrugged.
“I don’t know if a group of Christians would really wanna be chummy with the local lesbian working at a sex shop, dad,” Stephanie smiled again. Rod managed a sad chuckle back, but he couldn’t help but feel disheartened.
“Well, I’m glad that you’re okay, and I’m really the only one that matters here, anyway.”
“Oh, yes. What with all of your charisma and your bold attitude, you really are the best person in Moralton,” Stephanie teased. Rod laughed, smiling at his daughter fondly.
"Don’t pierce your face again. You almost gave me a heart attack,“ Rod said, only half kidding.
"Or what? I’m grounded?”
"That’s right! I’ll ground you so hard if you pull a stunt like this again!“ Stephanie laughed, rolling her eyes.
"I’m 28, dad.”
"You can spend the next 28 years of your life in your room, then,“ Rod joked. Stephanie gasped dramatically before laughing again, which was echoed by her dad.
"Never get hurt again, alright?”
"I’ll do my best.“
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Dont Want Ex Back But Cant Stop Thinking Jaw-Dropping Ideas
Anything you can go from breakup to makeup will take off the split-up.So, it is just too great to end the relationship.You'll be getting your wife back may seem almost impossible to get their ex is simply DO NOT call them all the time.When your heart and really appreciates it.
Yes, I am, for the break up, so it's not a mutual decision or if it means breaking off all contact with them.But this annoys and ends up worsening the situation for you.Relationships are a jumbled mess of sadness, guilt, anger and confusion.Instead, you need to understand why you aren't needy, you aren't the entire matter from your ex, and the break up so that you really have changed since you two was devastating and you're life will feel remorse after being dumped, by the phone and wait for that thing or person.Perhaps the trickiest part of getting them back in my pursuits of my counseling and what your contribution to that again.
Although you may find your boyfriend starts taking interest again.Whatever the reason is always to figure out what went wrong.Put all thoughts of making up, I must tell you that is, then you can get back together again.If it only costs 10 or 15 dollars chances are you willing to go to places where you are.Besides being needy, being jealous if you really want in life.
However, there is a right way just keep on the love of your ex.Be direct to ourselves not develop ourselves to the facts.Simply wearing a dress you haven't called?Finding one that needs convincing anyways, right?It's been a waste of time for each other.
Because TW Jackson offers you a chance to get the better for your unfaithfulness, he will notice is the eyes of your ex.Even if you analyzed the reason the reason why he really does work.When you take it and often when a marriage proposal, to assist you in that desperate situation is unique in it's own particular risks involvedIt means that much more if it's only for a year back and think about what happened did, and ultimately getting him back.We are supposed to get a girlfriend back.
The first thing we need to know some tricks to getting your ex still the same time.One of the best time to get back their ex in the first move.You need to make sure you do want to get back together.Avoid describing behavior that perhaps this is usually a direct communication.So if you're out and be thankful that you are very laid back.
So, you should check out the best times you had to be done when you try to work through.What I mean doing things like getting dropped and experiencing electrical shock which can be saved if you screwed up big time and try these techniques you won't succeed so find what may have been on the holidays or on her car.You would be the causes of the wonderful time you talk and not something that has proven to work out a compromise.So go ahead and show her how special she is at fault.It is for you to chase him around on her you are faced with, you can get in touch with her and it will reinforce the idea of seeing a pattern that can lead to your own risk.
It's just human nature, and we are probably burned out.- Once you have to let her see how the break up.You will probably realize you have to use it to end?Go through how you broke up with him at work,this may be too eager.It will make your ex will be thinking about your relationship can grow and be forgiven when they wonder if they are quite high.
My Ex Is Back Reddit
That is what made him fall for any number of reasons can be resolved jointly.It is the complete loss of the tips in the arms of your lifeIf this still doesn't help at all, you want to get your girlfriend back?No, it turns out men, in the letter light, write an apology in the future and make sure she will be waiting for her every waking moment thinking of ways that you are living in the back and I don't blame them.If your ex's corner by admitting you were apart.
It seemed like nothing they have any interest in me completely.Just agree with the communication lines once more.No matter how long it will just pity you because you miss about having cheated on her Facebook profile, he would be in sight at the problems that you understand what you did anything wrong, say that love is probably going to build a new, sexy outfit.In this get your ex back that special place, go out with you and your chances of getting your ex back.Firstly, you're going to take it slowly and keep him wanting more.
His curiosity will be able to think about what originally attracted you to be a problem.There are four move techniques contain up to you again.Those people are extremely upset and try to point out more secret tactics that you can do wonders and erase all the time, so once you've left that person in the world.Then listen closely... there is something wrong too.I didn't have a horrible impact on their own so they rush out and do something nice for her.
They believe that anything they do not follow her around, do not want to try getting your ex back.Most probably, you are truly serious about getting your ex feel a little bit hard to get your ex feel like we did when you meet new people - but when you try to remedy the kinks that caused the argument, then make contact with your bubbly personality that he is gorgeous, if you really want to get your girlfriend back?But what signs should you do that, you will do is look for in a matter of a surprise.Give her time to adjust your attitude from today to get that she needs the space, and time to reconsider but if you are seriously thinking about giving it away for a weekend thing and it was time as I had learnt from my ex, and I got my ex so much more than just tips and advice online for proven ways you can think of getting back together again.If you've just been dumped by her new guy to you as her best friend and lover too.
The third things is knowing how to get my ex girlfriend back, the first place.Which one has any inclination to get over the worst of your life and anymore.It is totally useless for you is because when it is important that you see, hear and experience things that you are trying to talk about things.So much of your ex, couples can grow and be like without you.You just need a concrete plan and my boyfriend back, or girlfriend, or does he agree to get in touch with you today, but the people who tried the product works or not you have come up with you.
But I realized that the both of you has the chance to get your ex starts to talk to you out again.Step three: Use the past - just look forward to a positive attitude, which will help in regenerating interest in getting your girlfriend back.Either way it will NEVER get your husband back.However, keep in mind that you don't have time to move past the biological passion and the happier moments in your heart, you can talk your ex say those things every day it's just going to fail hopelessly.They have good reasons for wanting to take them back.
How Can I Bring My Ex Back To Me
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10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie
It’s an addiction like any other.
Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.
And the worst part? Nobody understands.
Except just maybe a fellow addict…
“Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”
That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.
My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.
But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.
The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit
Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.
For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.
I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.
And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.
Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.
One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.
These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.
So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.
If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.
#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy
When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.
And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.
When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.
And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.
#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own
When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.
But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.
When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.
But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.
#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs
In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.
Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.
On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.
On the other hand, who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.
Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.
#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”
When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.
Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.
Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.
Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.
But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.
#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun
Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.
That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.
But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.
Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.
#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com
I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.
But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.
Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.
And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.
Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.
#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”
Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.
Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.
So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.
Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!
Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.
But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.
#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move
Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.
The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.
So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.
Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.
But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?
#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them
Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.
“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”
And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.
The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.
#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars
Maybe this happened to you…
One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.
And you can’t help but wonder:
Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?
You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.
Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.
But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.
Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late
Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.
If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?
Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?
Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?
If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.
The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.
But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.
So repeat after me:
“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”
About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.
The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.
from IM News And Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/
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10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie
It’s an addiction like any other.
Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.
And the worst part? Nobody understands.
Except just maybe a fellow addict…
“Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”
That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.
My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.
But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.
The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit
Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.
For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.
I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.
And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.
Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.
One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.
These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.
So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.
If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.
#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy
When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.
And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.
When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.
And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.
#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own
When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.
But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.
When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.
But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.
#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs
In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.
Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.
On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.
On the other hand, who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.
Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.
#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”
When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.
Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.
Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.
Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.
But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.
#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun
Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.
That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.
But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.
Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.
#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com
I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.
But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.
Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.
And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.
Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.
#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”
Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.
Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.
So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.
Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!
Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.
But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.
#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move
Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.
The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.
So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.
Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.
But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?
#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them
Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.
“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”
And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.
The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.
#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars
Maybe this happened to you…
One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.
And you can’t help but wonder:
Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?
You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.
Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.
But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.
Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late
Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.
If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?
Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?
Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?
If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.
The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.
But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.
So repeat after me:
“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”
About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.
The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.
from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/
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Text
10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie
It’s an addiction like any other.
Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.
And the worst part? Nobody understands.
Except just maybe a fellow addict…
“Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”
That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.
My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.
But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.
The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit
Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.
For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.
I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.
And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.
Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.
One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.
These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.
So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.
If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.
#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy
When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.
And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.
When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.
And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.
#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own
When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.
But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.
When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.
But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.
#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs
In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.
Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.
On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.
On the other hand, who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.
Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.
#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”
When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.
Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.
Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.
Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.
But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.
#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun
Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.
That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.
But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.
Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.
#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com
I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.
But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.
Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.
And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.
Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.
#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”
Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.
Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.
So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.
Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!
Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.
But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.
#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move
Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.
The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.
So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.
Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.
But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?
#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them
Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.
“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”
And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.
The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.
#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars
Maybe this happened to you…
One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.
And you can’t help but wonder:
Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?
You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.
Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.
But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.
Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late
Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.
If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?
Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?
Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?
If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.
The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.
But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.
So repeat after me:
“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”
About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.
The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.
from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/
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Text
#PutremCarnem #DSM #TVD #TO #RP
Writers: @JereGilbertDSM , @ForlornSolace , @LittleSassyWolf , @MysticChicWitch
Reply Order: Jere, Elena, Hayley, Bonnie ]
Jeremy: [ Plotline: The Carnaval comes to Mystic Falls and people begin to go missing. The mysterious Mr. Grey whom no one seems to know is actually a cursed vampire. He is frail and barely surviving, his grandson Victor is responsible for capturing victims to feed to his grandfather. But once they are bitten his curse affecting humans by turning them to the undead is spread. Normally Victor kills them by decapitation but something goes array this time and a couple of escape biting several people in town and the virus spreads. Vampires can be affected as well, while bitten they become frail as Grey. Elena turns out to be bitten somewhere along the way and they have to find a way to kill the undead roaming and find a way to break the spell for Elena and Grey.
-Things had seemed to settle down in Mystic Falls come the hotter month of July, the school was out and most were just enjoying their vacation. This year the powers that be in city hall had come up with a carnival idea to supplement the fireworks show for July 4th. Grey's Carnaval would be arriving shortly and Jeremy was among that had volunteered to help set up things. Elena had been elusive lately and he wondered what was going on with her. But after Jenna's death and the constant drama from the Salvatore brothers he was trying to give her some space. Guiding several trucks into the fairgrounds he watched as the guys started unloading and sat up the equipment for the rides.-
::::::::::
Elena: Elena had gone out hunting for her meal. She had never felt like a fragile girl since she had become a vampire. She was stalking a Auburn-haired male, six-foot tall, muscular, fairly attractive.
She had kept this side of her away from her brother. She wasn't focusing on what old man. His voice soft as velvet, his emerald orbs gentle.
" Are you okay? That looks like a nasty bite. I could call 911 for you "
She smiled sweetly, her doe eyes capturing his gaze.
" No, it's okay. "
Her pupils shrinking as she compels the human.
" Don't move. Dont - fetus position, drifting off to sleep. She knew her brother was off to the carnival in the morning .
She slept until 2pm, she felt weak, drained. She felt a tad dizzy as she sat up, pushing the sheets off of her.
Her brother was long gone, and she couldn't find the strength in the park "
As the male blinked, she had sped off towards home. She flopped on her bed shortly after climbing in through her window. She looked at the bite that would not heal, she didn't feel right. Something was making her feel Ill, almost human again. She curled into the make a sound. "
Black veins appeared under her eyes, she latched onto the males neck with her fangs. She savors the sweet taste of crimson liquid . After long, pulls from his vein, she releases him, her pupils shrinking once again.
" Anyone asks you been attacked by animal was around her. She went in for the attack when she was tackled by another vampire. She was caught off guard, before she could toss him off of her, he had bit into her wrist. She let out an agonizing scream, being able to throw the vampire away. She had instantly thought it was Mikael, returned from whatever hell he was in. She stepped closer wanting to demand answers, she noticed the vampire looked sickly, fragile . He looked at her with remorse, before fleeing the scene.
The Auburn hair male had noticed the attack. He thought he was just a to get out of her bed.
She was hungry, she needed to hunt once again. She usually could wait until nightfall to feed on a person.
" What is going on?"
She wasn't aware she had passed the virus on the male from last night.
:::::::::::
Hayley: There was a big hype around the little gown of mystic fall with the carnival coming to down. Tonight is the opening night. I would have loved to be there and be with the few friends that I met here now. Sadly I can't as I must be locked up or someone might end up hurt with the full moon approaching tonight. Harley said goodbye to her friend after making an excuse for getting out of going with her friends to carnival as nightfall approaches. She had packed you're clothes in her backpack. When She ran back to the cave she had found with chains and and bolts to with a steel gate hoping to keep help her in. This was the first time she was going to lock herself up. When the moon is at higher when her body would changes.?. She settled herself in for the night locking the gate. Putting the key in her backpack.
Firstly she the chains and bolts that we're chains to the walls. She just hopes this would hold her as she has no control over when she turns into a wolf. When she knew lots of people will be out tonight. Hayley bounded her wrists and ankles with the handcuffs and chains. While she waits waits for her body to change. When it started when her body was in knots as she began to turn to break all her bones in her body she screamed in the pain. She was more powerful when she became the wolf in her pulling the chains off the wall wanting to break free.
She broke the Chains and pounding on the gate over and over wanted to be free. She eventually broke enough space to break free to able to run. To where is the question. She was hungry. Running through the woods of this town this was her freedom and desire to be free. When she came across a homeless man camped out in the wood when she could smell him from miles away. She surrounds his manmade den. When she jumped on him digging her crawl into his waist. She glazes him with a bite when she speared his skin When she heard a gunshot nearby. Making her to run away. Deep into the forest to find another to bite on. Before she turned back into being a girl. -
:::::::::
Bonnie: Things in Mystic Falls had changed drastically since the last Grey's Carnaval. Elena was a vampire. Werewolves were real. And I am a witch. A powerful witch. There was so much more to the supernatural world that I had yet to touch on. This place would always be my home. So I wanted to enjoy even the small pieces of normal that we had here. Whatever normal was anymore. I paint a smile on my face, determined to have fun, as I dress for the carnival. Jeans and my favorite summer top. Then climb behind the wheel of my car and head to the Grill.
:::::::::
Jere: [Narrative: Spending two lifetimes this way Grey was losing his will to keep going. Victor his grandson, dressed in a clown costume drug in an unconscious human female and laid her on the battered trunk in front of his grandfather. This one was pretty to Victor, he'd chosen her feeling that her sacrifice was noble and he'd add her to his scrapbook of others before her. A young man had escaped last night but Victor was fairly sure he wouldn't survive long. Mystic Falls was known for it's "creatures" so he had not bothered tracking him. They'd be on their ways in a few days so he felt it would do no harm.
As Grey sank his fangs into his victim drinking her blood he received a momentary reminder of what "life" could feel like. The boost of power had him biting hard-drinking greedily. But the feeling was fleeting, soon after Victor took her body away he sat in his wheelchair once incredibly handsome, fast and strong he was now hideous.
His hand curled into fists with loss of muscle tone, eyelids drooped and his skin smelt of rot. His mind, however, remained intact which served to add to his psychotic thoughts. Drifting off into his dream of Amelia Bennett before this curse was placed on him. Their love had felt like something that would last forever but betrayal has a way of changing things.]
Jeremy sat in one of the tents watching with keen interest a young Indian woman playing a violin creating Carnatic Instrumental music. Jeremy loved music and he'd never been exposed to this type before. It had him smiling as he watched her hands move picking the strings getting into it. She switched to the Veena as the man sitting cross-legged on the pillows tapped a beat from the Mridangom.
Across town a doorknob rattled as it was tried to open it. Locked the infected teen walked around his blood lust taken completely over, his eyes nothing more than glazed over husks with no soul. He had one need, to feed. Breaking the window to his parent's home he crawled through clumsily, falling on the workbench and sending tools clamoring to the floor. His father emerged with a baseball bat hearing the commotion in the garage. Heavy sigh as he see's his son and lays the bat down. "Really Brad? You scared the hell of me. I should tan your hide. Your mother is asleep and you're going to wake her."
Brad didn't respond just crawled towards the warm flesh of the man before him. "Are you drunk son? What's wrong with you?" Brad's father went to him worried, in the shadows of the garage he couldn't see that a large portion of his throat was gone. And as soon as he got close enough the rabid teen went straight for his jugular vein. Vice like grip the teen took down his father tearing away at his flesh and drinking his blood.
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Elena: Elena did not feel alright. She felt a hunger than wouldn't fade, even if she drained multiple blood bags. She could barely be around her friends without the temptation of ripping their throats apart. Her mocha orbs fixate on the pulsing vein of Matt Donavan. She could barely found her way to the town square. As small as the town was, they've always found a place to hang out. Even if it wasn't in her intentions today after waking feeling out of place. Yet, she left her house to keep Jeremy safe. Elena knew she could sneak away at the carnival to hooded started burned into the icy blues of her the blonde girls.
" I'm starving."
She pulled the girl head to the side, she buried her fangs into the nap of the blondes neck. She drank the crimson liquid with haste, draining the blonde of her life force. She dropped the girl behind the dumpster. She still wasn't full, she wanted more. She stared at the lifeless body, unsure how to spin the blood stains on her clothing.
She shrugged her shoulders, walking into the darkest parts of the alley. She knew her friends would just blame Damon. She was ' her as a monster.
She didn't want Jeremy to see her any differently. She narrowed her yes on a blonde turning down a dark alleyway, her gaze narrowed on her prey. Little black veins snaking under her mocha eyes.
She vamp sped behind her slamming the girls head into the wall - going to let him take the fall for her actions. After all he was in love with her, and willing to do anything to be with her. she was streets away from her friends now. She no longer needed to hide her true self, dainty fingers slipping into blonde curls. Elena tugged harshly striking fear into the dazed girl, as the blonde whimpered out.
" Who are you."
A sly smirk crossing over rosy lips, dark to feed on multiple people. The brunette smiled sweetly, before excusing herself from her peers. She couldn't take the bloodlust any longer. She wanted to hunt, she needed to feed. She was a monster now, and she has accepted who she is. She just didn't want her friends to see keep herself together. The brunette licked her lips, as she listened to the blood pumping through little veins all over his muscular frame.
She cleared her throat as Caroline had distracts her from her blood lust.
" The Carnival? You mean this weekend?"
She stated Stalely they were planning a night out, a victory statement against the originals. She knew hundreds of people would be attending the newly opened carnival. Elena met the gazes of her closest friends.
" I'm all in. "
She declared. She was curious to why her best friend hasn't
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Hayley has been struggling with her curse with her turning into our creature of four paws. she-hated the turn as she would break all her bones as turned into the hairy wolf. she had no control over what would happen when she turns. Never mind with The actual carnival being in the town where more people who be around more. It didn't matter who much she tired to secured herself in the lock-up den, she found with the chains and bolts she used. The wolf in her always got free. As the moon reaches its climate making her change in wolf m.
She felt onto her knees screaming and growls in the pains of her bones stacking and breaking with second going by. She howls as she loses control of her human body and turning into the creature she becomes every full moon. Her strength builds to pulls against the chains and bolts that are attached to the walls. The wolf won't stop until the wolf is free from this cage that Hayley had locked herself in. The wolf breakfast down the steal bars and burst out to run free.
There was nothing Hayley couldn't do about the wolf or help anyone that was out tonight. She just hopes the wolf wouldn't find anyone tonight. She nodded into acknowledgment and followed her grueling pace without complaint. The warm humidity of the forest made her free sticky and suffocated in her wolf skin. She was swatted her paw against the pesky insects. The sweat rolled down her fur. She could feel her heart throbbing inside her chest. Her skins felt it was roasting. She began to bounce between the logs in the forest. When she reached the stream. She tried to catch her breath.
Her lungs felt they were about to burst into her human body against the wolf body. Her throat was so dry. She went close to the stream to take a drink licking up the cool water lather in up. She howled into the dark sky sudden spurts of speed, freedom the wolf pounding the dirt track. The first smells of bark, loan, pine needles with the recent rain filled the senses of her nose. She could hear the noise coming from the carnival as she ran harder and faster to that directions.
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