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myuiis · 4 months

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(same anon who asked for sinu analysis) well first off let me ask your thoughts on YeonhuixSinu

Despite my undying love for this man- I'll admit they're cute n all BUT I always felt it was undeveloped.

I don't know if it's just me but when Jason (I think) said he'd snitch about him being with neko to her I was confused back when he was still under the influence of those pills at workers. Like, Did I miss something? Did I forget something from the gaps between the arcs? Idk. But even if she was shown to be worried over Sinu, it didn't seem romantic at all especially that all the big deal girls cared too. PTJ also made it seem like an already established relationship and I'm still questioning when?? She seemed to know him well and all but no hinting of any romantic attraction was there, just your average big deal romanticism and admiration lol.

I understand that PTJ has to leave some details away for the sake of the pacing but I think he could've at least thrown some hints here and there.

ok yeah. so this won't be a super long post because i am tired but good lord i am very... lukewarm about sinu and yeonhui. im with you on the "who?" when yeonhui was mentioned again in 2a. now im glad that sinu is with someone he's happy with but man... sinu and yeonhui is just such a mid ship compared to literally anyone else he could've been shipped with. let me explain.

yeonhui's lack of presence in the story. now this is probably the main reason i find this ship so lackluster. how am i supposed to root for a ship when the female love interest is literally like npc #125? while she did have more presence than the other girls on the street, this isn't really a high bar considering ptj's track record writing female characters. and this isn't to say she was boring or had a bland personality either (even though she KINDA did...). she was strong and independent, stood up to samuel when he tried to extort them for money (iirc), bore the burden of sinu's sacrifice and stayed strong for big deal, and was there to comfort jake when he learned of the news. she could've been a REALLY interesting character because she was so strong and also stuck to her ideals in the same way sinu did, so they could've been such a power couple, had yeonhui been developed more. it would've been nice to see yeonhui and sinu strategize about how to protect big deal together, or see more of yeonhui bandaging and caring for sinu after he gets hurt, or seeing sinu bring yeonhui gifts and money... or anything, really. the two have barely have any substantial interactions over the entire arc besides the last part where sinu's about to sacrifice himself, so much so that it makes me wonder... who is this yeonhui person? why are they important again.

chemistry. this mainly comes up to personal preference but yeonhui and sinu feel more like an older sister-younger brother dynamic to me. yeonhui took sinu in as a child, fed, clothed, and cared for him, and then continues to take care of him as an adult, which comes off as big sis behavior. again, some people may like this dynamic romantically, but i personally find it super platonic and sibling-leaning.

other sinu ships. idk. just find it a LITTLE heteronormative that any man and woman who share a little bit of screentime together are instantly a couple while sinu and jake can be out here pulling "you are my everything" and "i came back to big deal for you and you alone, jake" moments, and they'll still be just "good bros". again, kind of up to personal preference, but if you compare yeonhui x sinu to jake x sinu or even samuel x sinu, there's a clear lack of interactions and chemistry for yeonhui x sinu

so yeah. thats kinda it. this ended up being way longer than i expected so im not gonna write a conclusion paragraph but those are my thoughts around yeonhui and sinu together romantically.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #jake kim #samuel seo #sinu han #yeonhui #kim gimyung #kim gimyeong #han shinwoo #seo seongeun #big deal #lookism rant #myuiis bullshit

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prismatic-starstuff · 9 months

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So because I talked earlier about my thoughts on Astarion and the polyamory options the game offers with him, I'm just gonna post the post I had in my drafts idk akxmalxnakxn

Disclaimers: I'm all for polyamory in general and I love the fact there are poly options in the game; and if you disagree with my assessments about the tone and/or intention of the dialogue, that's totally fine! I'm not trying to throw shade at anyone who reads things differently or prefers things a different way than me; I'm just having a little ramble about things as I experienced them. I'm not here to fight, so please don't fight with me.

So, there's... a lot of evidence in the game that Astarion doesn't like being with more than one person, and doesn't like his partner being with more than one person. And my potentially hot take on the matter is... I don't think the poly options with him are a good choice; actually, I think they're really cruel.

If you try for polyamory with Astarion and Shadowheart or Minthara, both of them - in very different ways - point out the fact that, basically, he doesn't feel comfortable or safe with the idea of his partner being with multiple people.

Shadowheart says: 'I think you may be overestimating his willingness to share; he might seem like the carefree hedonist, but there's something fragile beneath the facade. If you can give him the solace that I'm convinced he desperately needs, then it would be cruel for me to try and elbow in - liable to end in tears, or blood, or both.'

And Minthara, being Minthara, isn't so nice about it but effectively says the same thing; she says: 'I suspect that would puncture his fragile ego far more savagely than his fangs puncture your neck. Astarion likes to put on a show of nonchalant decadence, but he is as delicate as a flake of snow. Besides, that arrangement would not suit me either. I am not delicate, but I do not share what I desire.'

During the scenes with Halsin - whether it's at the brothel with the drow twins or it's MC asking Astarion about general polyamory with Halsin - it seems painfully like he's going along with it for MC's sake; both conversations are initiated by MC, his immediate reaction in both scenarios is to ask if they're pursuing this because he's not giving them sex, and only after that discussion does he agree to it. He doesn't express any personal interest in it, so it seems to once again be expressly because MC wants it; in fact, he's acting very much like he did in Act 1 back when he was pretending.

I also saw a clip once of someone who slept with Mizora while in a relationship with ascended Astarion, and he's dripping bitterness all the way through the conversation about it. I don't have the exact dialogue on hand right now, but he speaks as though he's jealous because he wanted to be with Mizora too, but— honestly? That whole part felt like a cover. Because with the way he tells MC to at least bring him along if they decide to have other affairs in future, and the way he sounds so mocking and delighted if MC says that the affair was bad in any way, it just feels like he vehemently dislikes the fact it happened at all; it feels like it's not about Mizora at all, it's about the fact he doesn't like them being with somebody else, especially without him.

Still on the subject of ascended Astarion, there's also a line of dialogue where Minthara asks about sharing immortality with her and he pointedly shoots that down, stating that it is 'for me and my darling to share.' In response, Minthara says: 'If they have prevented your eyes and fangs from wandering to other necks, it must be a special bond indeed.' All of this points to Astarion only having eyes (and, uh, fangs) for his darling, and no-one else.

Again, I'm all for polyamory; I wholeheartedly support it, I know polyamorous people and have polyamorous friends. I really love how it's just a normal and accepted thing in BG3 that no-one bats an eyelid at, and I think more games should be taking that approach.

But when it comes to Astarion in specific... he doesn't come across as polyamorous at all, because there's simply too much evidence pointing to the fact that he's not; and so, the polyamory options with him in specific honestly... hurt. Because at no point does he ever seem enthusiastic about it, as if it's genuinely what he wants to do; instead, it all just feels like another extension of him having to go along with what others want in order to satisfy them. There's a piece of dialogue where Astarion mentions how he sometimes does not know how to say no as a result of the trauma and abuse he's gone through, and I think that's exactly what's happening.

And considering that's been his whole life for two centuries, and it's being perpetuated by the person he's developed feelings for suddenly springing these situations on him, it just... doesn't feel good to me, personally.

#again: this is my personal opinion and i'm not throwing shade at anyone who disagrees or reads things differently #this is just how i feel about this specific situation!#but yes: the subject came up #so i wanted to discuss some thoughts and observations #baldur's gate iii #astarion

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ezra-editss · 6 months

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"Dean doesn't reciprocate" MY ASS

I'm just kinda gonna write down my thoughts about this. I'm in season 7 now, I know what happens in the very last episode, but nothing else so I don't read any posts about the show here yet :) (just so yk and don't accidentally spoiler me) Oh and I do this mostly out of memory and some notes that I took, so this might be a little chaotic :,)

Okay, so the whole season 6 fight was crazy to me. The way Cas was watching while Dean kept on defending him. And he knew how much Dean trusted him. ("The worst part was Dean. He was trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.") It hurt him, but the whole time he was, again, protecting Dean. And yes, he hurt Dean, but I think it was as worse for Cas to hurt Dean, as for Dean to be hurt.

Then, Dean apologizing for the others? They (thought they) were wrong and Dean had kept on trusting Cas, so why was it him who apologized? Because he knew it meant more to Cas when he did it? Idk.

Cas wasn't able to lie when he looked in Dean's eyes.. come on? Also, the fact Dean wasn't actually mad when he found out was really interesting. He was just extremely sad. Yes, his trust got broken and maybe he was just tired of it all, but it didn't seem like that to me, I felt like he usually got madder.

I love how they always share those sad looks when they go apart after the fights btw, such a best buddys thing to do.

It was really hard for both of them. We can see that Dean can't sleep that night and that Cas comes back to talk to him alone, because it only matters to him that Dean understands.

Oh and the "I'm doing this for you, Dean." I don't even need to explain his motives, because he reveals them himself.

Then the scene from my edit. (at the top) (it's kinda laggy, bc it's slow-motion, but anyways) They both have teary eyes a lot, but this is different. Dean turns aways because he knows he's gonna cry and Cas disappears before he really starts crying, but they are both fuckin crying about this. They're both just sad and want this to end. Even when Dean said he's gonna stop him and so on, it was way less threatening then usually. And Cas kept coming back when Dean was in danger.

But Dean still cared as well. In the first episode of season 7, when Cas asks for help, he pretends he doesn't care about him anymore for a bit, but you can clearly see that he still does. You at least can see it when he thinks Cas is dead. He's devastated.

It's kinda funny how Bobby's there but Cas very obviously only cares to make up to Dean. Like he always says "they're my friends" but in reality he means Dean.

AND THEN.. Cas tries to protect everyone else again and sends them away but DEAN STAYS. I think he knew that there wouldn't be anything he could do, but it didn't matter.

Cas dies again. (give my man a break, please) Dean keeps the god damn coat? I think he might've done it, because he was hoping that Cas would come back again. Anyways, scene was devastating.

In the judge/court episode about Dean's guilt, I immediately hoped Dean didn't feel guilty about Cas too, but was pretty sure he did. My worries were confirmed in episode 5.

So yeah, I suppose that's the part where I am, I guess I have to wait 'till Cas comes back now :,)

I don't think anyone read all this, but I hope I didn't make any grammar mistakes, bc English isn't my first language, so I sometimes get stuff mixed up (I definitely made the tenses confusing). Anyways, rant end.

#destiel #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural #destiel edit #dean x castiel

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krikeymate · 8 months

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Fictober 2023: Day 4: “Do you even know what this means?” - Sam isn't as alone as she thinks she is. Featuring Mindy. Fandom: Scream Rating: T Warnings: None.

➖

Sam frowns at her laptop screen, confused. It doesn’t make any sense. Why are there so many branches on this tree? Eugh, she knew doing this genetics thing was a mistake. The last thing she should be doing is putting her DNA out there for anyone to trace back to her. All it takes is one more vindictive cop and then…

Curse Tara’s heartbreakingly effective sad expression. She’s mastered the disappointed “oh, okay then” too. Sam may have taught her sister how to use all her skills to her advantage, but that didn’t mean she should get to use them against her!

Little shit.

“I don’t know what I’m looking at,” she declares, leaning back on the couch with a sigh.

Tara abandons her phone to lean over and tilt the laptop toward her. Sam watches as her sister’s face goes from exasperated – a common expression when Sam tries to interact with technology – to confused.

She almost regrets speaking up when Tara begins to frown. Sam hates seeing her frown. The “this doesn’t make any sense” she mutters under her breath is more than a little vindicating at least.

Tara slides the computer into her own lap to analyse the screen. Unfortunately, her appropriation of the device does not go unnoticed by Mindy, who was supposed to be cleaning up the mess she had made in their kitchen.

If Sam catches anyone doing another 4am baking session in a house they don’t even live in, they’re gonna catch her hands instead. Or a knife, as someone recently – almost fatally – learnt for herself.

“Come on now,” Mindy jeers, “how hard can it be?”

Mindy of course, being the one who convinced Tara, who convinced Sam, that they should send off their very private DNA to this big and famous ancestry company. Oh it’ll be interesting, she said. You’ll get to see where you come from, she said. You'll be able to connect with anyone else in your family tree who’s done it too, she said. As if that one was something appealing.

Unfortunately, Tara’s whispered confession of wanting to know whether their father had another family out there was damning to Sam’s ability to say no. Having basically grown up without any family other than each other, Tara’s desires were all too understandable.

But Sam will get her own back on Mindy for suggesting this, mark her words.

“Are you discovering that your mom isn’t actually your mom? Cause that would make so much sense to be honest, ‘cause I’ve said it before, that lady far too white to be birthing two Latinas like yourselves.”

Tara’s eyes dart from the screen to meet Sam’s as they share a look they’ve come to master over the past year. Disbelief, amusement, a silently screamed are they serious? passing between them.

Mindy doesn’t notice it.

“I mean, how do two basically white people end up making Sam? Answer me that!” she continues, leaning her arms against the back of the couch. “Heck, I bet the only Mexican in your mom was your da-“

“OH MY GOD MINDY!” “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

“What, am I wrong?”

Sam groans into her hands while Tara, who has years of experience learning to overcome Mindy’s colourfully unfiltered mouth, silently holds the laptop up for her to see.

There’s a moment of silence as Mindy takes in the information, before she claps her hands excitedly.

“Do you even know what this means?” she exclaims, bouncing on her feet, both hands slapping down on the couch.

Mindy doesn’t wait for a response before she barrels ahead, unable to keep it in for even a second longer.

“It means ho~o~oly shit Sam, your dad was a slut!”

Sam wishes she never had to hear those words. She wishes she’d never done the stupid swab test.

She snatches the laptop back and slams the lid shut without even a second glance at the contents.

It was hard enough to learn that Tara was her half-sister. The knowledge that she has 12 other half-siblings out there burns in the back of her throat.

She has a family; she doesn’t need more.

What was she thinking.

#/mp #fictober23 #Scream #Sam Carpenter #Tara Carpenter #Mindy-Meeks Martin #my writing tag #this is for the ~ keeps suggesting white women for christina ~ fools out there

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solradguy · 9 months

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is johnny homo/transphobic or not, im seeing a lot of people claiming that he is and bashing him for that

No lmfao He's neither of those things. People wanna hate him so bad, but they're getting their information from thrice removed Twitter banter based on lines from non-canon games they probably haven't even played. Just out there stirrin the shit pot. It's like if people suddenly decided Ky was homophobic because he's very likely catholic.

There's this exchange from one of the Johnny routes in XX (which isn't even a canon game):

Bridget: 約束したじゃないですか！ Hey, you promised you'd listen to me! Johnny: くっ……このジョニー、レイディとの約束は裏切れねぇ。 Argh... I can't break a promise made to a woman. Bridget: ……ウチ男ですけど。 ...I'm a guy. Johnny: た、助かった…… Oh, well in that case...

The translation here is accurate. However, if we're going to call Johnny transphobic for this exchange then we're going to have to call about half the cast transphobic since Bridget has a lot of equally unfortunate interactions like this throughout XX.

There's this interaction from Bridget's arcade route too, which I think is the one people usually point to for Johnny being transphobic:

Bridget: ……ああ、危なかった。負けるかと思った。どうしたんですか？途中から剣筋が急に鈍りましたけど……。 ...Whew, that was close! For a minute there, I thought I was gonna lose that one. Hey, what's wrong with you? You suddenly went limp right in the middle of the fight... Johnny: このジョニー一生の不覚だ……。おまえ……男だろ！ Ahh... Johnny... What have you done... You.... You're a guy, aren't you! Bridget: ええ。この格好にはちょっと訳がありまして。 Sure am. This appearance... Well, it's kind of a long story. Johnny: この俺としたことが男を口説くとは……。もういいから、帰ってくれ。 I can't believe I just tried to seduce another man... Look, you should just go home and forget about all this. Bridget: 剣を向けて来たのはそちらですよ？ Hey! You're the one who stuck your sword in my face! Johnny: ……悪かった。一つだけ頼む。このことはくれぐれも他言無用にな。 ...I'm sorry. I just have one request. Whatever you do...Don't tell anyone about this. Bridget: ……ほんと、変な人ですね。 ...What a weirdo.

This official translation is pretty accurate. The exchange between these two here isn't good, I will admit. But we also need to remember that the XX series of games had at least 3 different writers, it isn't canon. Johnny doesn't act like this outside of a few parts of XX.

There weren't scripts on the GG wiki for the XX Accent Core Plus arcade routes, so I'm not sure how Johnny is in that game. Probably roughly the same as in XX though.

I also couldn't find any lines from him towards Testament or Venom that were worse than anything anyone else says to them. Johnny does use he/him pronouns for Testament in the localization, but in Japanese he doesn't seem to use pronouns for them at all (which is relatively common in Japanese in general anyway).

In summary: Basically if it's from any of the games from the GGXX line just throw it out the window. "He would not say that" The Game.

If he says something bad towards Testament, Venom, or Bridget that's in one of the canon games and I missed it: send it to me.

Here are the scripts I went through for this:

General VS mode quotes: https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Johnny/Quotes

X Plus script: https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Guilty_Gear_X_Plus_script

XX script: https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Guilty_Gear_XX_script

Bonus line from XX where the localization team made an... interesting... choice translating "dandy" as "studmaster." He's saying this to Bridget during one of the Johnny arcade routes. (this line doesn't prove anything either way, I just thought it was too funny not to share lol)

Johnny: ダンディなお兄さん…… ……と呼んでくれれば何でも聞いてやるぜ？ Call me 'Studmaster'... and I'll listen to whatever you have to say.

#asks

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themysticsword · 10 months

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Quitting RoR2 Modding

(posting this in case anyone who plays my RoR2 mods isn't in any of the discord servers lol)

So, basically, yeah, I'm done with Risk of Rain 2 for good. Don't wanna associate myself with the game. Just really want it gone from my life. I don't want to think about it.

All of the mods I made out of my personal interest are now marked as deprecated, and potentially will even be deleted later. The only things that will stay are projects that were either made for friends, had contributions from more than just me, or are funny enough that I feel like they should stay.

Why? For a lot of reasons.

The Community Manager

So, SeventeenUncles (or Suncles, as we all call him). The guy may seem like a chill person on the twitch streams, but god. He's Bad at server moderation. Everybody in the server knows it. And if somebody has any kind of complaint about that moderation, he silences all the critique and tells to open a ticket via Modmail, which will not result in anything because why would he care lmao he's the community manager and he makes all the rules.

Like this one. I wrote a proper, consise ticket about my mute (which was unfair, by the way!), expecting to either get unmuted or at least get a response or have a conversation as to why they think it was fair. Guess what I got.

you're welcome suncles.

There's a lot of problems with how he's running the server, which I'm not gonna talk about, because, luckily, someone else has already done it, in detail! https://www.tumblr.com/gabrielultrakill-bigboobs/723312859455651840/the-official-risk-of-rain-discord-and-its-hellish?source=share

A lot of nasty stuff. In the official server, mind you.

But yeah. He represents the company Hopoo Games, and who am I to support a company with a prick as their representative :)

The Community Itself

Now, I know this is a dumb reason to quit over, but it's not the reason. It's just one of them.

It's toxic. Elitist. And, most importantly, way too controllable. We have, like, 4-5 mainstream content creators, and almost all of them manage to give the worst tips to newbies despite sinking hours into the game and, supposedly, having a lot of experience and knowledge.

It's so bad to the point where some youtubers call out the wiki for giving "false information", so their fans go on the wiki and make edits while parroting whatever Mr. Youtuber said.

Picture this: you're a new player, and you have unlocked a hard character. You struggle with them, so you go to the wiki, and the first thing you're told is that you actually need to unlock a different ability for them to make them playable. And only 7-8 paragraphs below, the wiki tells you how to use the base abilities properly. You know. The ones that you have right now, as a new player. While also making them sound weaker than they are in reality. Doesn't this sound like imposing someone specific's preferred playstyle onto everybody else?

Constant arguments. You open the discord server, or the subreddit, or a youtube video, just about anything, and you'll see people disrespecting each other over a video game. These arguments usually stem from someone being incorrect, them getting corrected by others, and that person fighting until the end of times just to prove that they're actually right, because, for some reason, they can't accept being wrong.

And I kept seeing these arguments. Engaging in them. When you want to interact with the community of a game on this scale of popularity, you just can't not encounter the bad parts. Statistically impossible.

Oh, and you know why the community partially is like that? Because the devs and the moderators are fine with that behaviour. The devs are known to be all mean and like "massive trolls" or whatever. Meanwhile, you don't see this shit happening in the A Hat in Time or Celeste servers.

Other Projects

Lastly, I've been meaning to quit RoR2 for a long time now. I want to move on and do something else. I've been making RoR2 mods for 4 years now, I think? It's a shame I have to leave like this, but eh, whatever.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well! I'm doing well, because I got rid of the part of my life that's been bothering me for way too long :3 See ya in other games that I'll mod!

#modding #text post

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moonchildreads · 9 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

aaaaaaa this one's hard!!! i've only written small town so far (which you can read here lol thank you for giving me the chance to shamelessly promote my work losty 🤎) so what i'm gonna do is share my fave five chapters instead!

chapter 3 - tonight she comes - this is when we meet our girlie dot, and it was my first time writing the hellfire club all together in the same room. here's where we start to explore their dynamic as a group and it's full of foreshadowing for things that haven't happened yet 👀

chapter 10 - that's what friends are for - this chapter has everything i love: the hellfire club spending time together, the gentle will they/won't they between eddie and dot, deep conversations with chrissy, dnd, and a lot of bickering. i consider this one to be one my best chapters and it was the longest i'd written at the time! 💕

chapter 13 - you give good love - another entry into one of the chapters i'm most proud of and, again, it includes a lot of the things i love about small town: wayne being a menace, chrissy being eddie's biggest supporter, dot and eddie realising that it isn't them individually vs the world. this was their first big fight, and i had been working on this fic for around a year by the time i posted this specific chapter so it'll always be special to me. got 3/3 laughs with the sponge bit amongst my friends so that's a win to me! 🧽

chapter 15 - don't you want me - the whole sleepover at gareth's will forever be one of the bits i've enjoyed writing the most about this fic. i adore that little gremlin and so much of him (and the rest of hellfire, really) is based on friends i've had throughout the years. there is something so very pure about a platonic friendship (stobin, am i right?) and if chrissy is eddie's steve, i wanted to give dot her very own robin in gareth. this was me officially confirming that both eddie and dot are bi/queer and bonding over rocky horror, which felt important to me as a queer girlie. it's my fic and i can do what i want, lol 💗💜💙

chapter 20 - self control - the moment everyone was waiting for!!! the love confession!!! it was messy, and so uniquely them, you can't take it and give it to anyone else because it's so dot and eddie that there's just no other way around it: if it had to happen, it was going to be like this. other things i loved about this chapter were allowing nancy to dip her toes into dealing with her grief over barb (more on that later lol), the hellfire class of '86 being there for one another, and finally getting to kick andy's bitch ass down!!!! 😈

honourable mention goes to chapter 14 - missing you, which is the mother's day chapter and deals with eddie and dot's mothers who passed away when they were children. i wrote this one while actively mourning someone i'm still thinking about every day and while i will probably be dealing with this for a long time, this chapter helped me purge a lot of my inner demons and helped heal more than i thought it would. it's my love letter to my person who isn't here anymore, and i know that she'd be proud of it because one of the last conversations i got to have with her was about me writing small town, and she was so happy and interested about it.

i'm in the process of writing chapter 23 right now and hopefully i'll get it out this week if i can stop crying at work for more than five minutes lmao. again thank you losty for giving me the opportunity to talk about small town, i love this fic, and i love writing it and talking about it. 🥰

#bunny answers #small town fic #losty's tag 🐟#eddie munson x female character #eddie munson x ofc #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #joseph quinn #hellfire club #stranger things 4

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captawesomesauce · 3 months

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Thoughts at 530pm...

I will be blunt and say upfront that I am NOT a fan of this isolation/quarantine ... but at the same time... I don't actually mind it all that much in a lot of ways.

I'm finally kind of relaxing, which isn't a normal feeling for me... and It'd probably take a week or two to really unclench I think.

To better explain, let me tell you what a day with W is like:

The alarm goes off at 635am and she grumbly gets up ... waaahhhh it's tooooooooo early .... From about 7 until 10 or so I can hear her in her office.

The closer it gets to 10, I am on high alert. Is she going to come in and want to take a nap? If so I'll have to stop what I'm doing and accommodate that. We have one bed... we share the bed... she has a right to sleep when she needs to. Other options are that she'll want to come in and tell me about her meetings or her projects or ask for help on what she's working on. Or she'll have another meeting with a different group until noon or so.

At noon she usually either has meetings, or is hungry, or is waking up and is hungry, or just misses me and wants to talk.

At 2 she's done with work, but between noon and 2 she's in and out and all around and doing her thing and often looking over my monitor meowing or wanting a hug or just... THERE.

Once work is done, it's nap time, so from 2 until 5 or so, it's snuggle and nap time.

At 5 it's get up and cook dinner, and once dinner is done around 6 or 7, it's snuggle and watch tv for an hour or two.

At 9 or so we're done with tv, and for the next hour we just putter about, until we start getting ready for bed at 10.

I get the bit from 6am until 10 am to myself... (kinda)... but after that.. it's whirlwind W until bed time lol

----------

What is it like in isolation?

I get up when I want... I go to sleep when I want... i eat randomly... the tv stays off... i mostly read and work on projects and do whatever as the mood strikes. I'm not constantly watching the clock. I'm not constantly listening for footsteps. I'm not watching the doors and alert for her to come in/go out.

I do a lot of stuff that involves heavy concentration and I block out the world when I'm in that mood. It's all about flow as I feel like I'm literally pulled along by my thoughts. Let's try changing this variable and record the results which might lead to a better understanding of this part... and ooh let's go for this and work on that. Let's go through this long list of data, sort it, get rid of duplicates, and edit it. It's just me, a screen, and a billion thoughts and I end when I end, I start when I start. Sometimes it takes 4 or 5 hours to work through a problem or a dataset.

In isolation, that's easy to do... I just sit and work on it as it flows, and take breaks when I feel like it.

My ears are off, my alert level is at 0. No one is coming in, no one is gonna bug me.

Another thing is that I do things without being questioned. No, where ya going, whatcha doing, whatcha working on, what's that, what's this what's what's what's.

Do you know that there is something actually super relaxing to not having to think about anyone but yourself? I get up, i get water, I sit back down. I putz around as mood strikes without any thought of anyone else or disturbing anyone else or what anyone else might want or need. I just... exist... and it's been so very rare in my life that I've ever been able to do that.

I've taken care of parents and grandparents. I've had a girlfriend or a fiancee, or a pet, or lived in rooms with 10-40 other men. There's always been someone or something... but now... this is the first time it's just me.

It's interesting.

----------------

At the same time, i do miss her, and so we chat on messenger a lot, we have walkie talkies for quick communication, and we also have face chat so we are apart but we're not.

And honestly, I miss her, I miss feeling her lay next to me, I miss hearing her talk her head and mine off. I just miss being with her.

I know how hard this is on her, she's not liking it much at all. i don't know if there's a plus side for her in any way like there has been for me.

Honestly, I've slept so much of this isolation away. I was so stressed before, and then with the rain coming my joints and headaches are hurting worse, so I just close my eyes whenever and often.

Tomorrow morning at 10am will be a full 72hrs since I got home. I've had 0 symptoms so I think we're in the clear... until the 13th when we do this all over again!

#thoughts

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psychewritesbs · 7 months

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Not really much for a discussion here but it's just smth that's been on my mind I need to eject it sorry 🙏 A thing I rlly rlly like about jjk is the theme of saving people as well as the fact that characters actions actually have consequences that often times are fatal if not for them for others around them. I think one of the most consistently relevant quotes from jjk, especially relating to recent chapters but we don't need to talk about them 🤕🤒🤧, is when megumi (WHERE IS HE) was like "what happens when the person you save goes on to kill someone else?" Bc like. This whole thing started because yuji saved megumi who then decided to save yuji despite knowing he was sukunas, which he later paid for. Not only that but bc of just these choices so many people like just SOOOO many people lost their lives including people they know which is the complete opposite of what yuji is striving for and then add on the fact that pretty much all the big character deaths/megumi takeover </3 happened directly in front of yuji which is brutal but also extremely effective in showing us that in this story, protagonist or not actions have consequences and plot armour isn't gonna save anyone this time. Also whenever I think abt this I'm reminded of when yujis grandpa tells him to "save people even if it's just one" which was really the motive for yujis resolve in the first place, and I'm bringing that up rn because yuji still hasn't been able to save the people he cares for most and it's just. God it's so tragic but it's so good and it's things like this that are the reason I love jjk so much and trust in gege's story telling . Idk if I have a point to this so sorry for the random word vomit but I just think that the specific theme of saving people and the different views everyone has about it, as well as characters actually having to deal with the consequences of their actions (nobara jumping in on the fight with mahito, megumi letting yuji live, just EVERYTHING with gojo tbh, etc) is just done so well done and I really do look forward to (maybe a hint of dread in there too) seeing how he ties it all up. Having said that if he doesn't return my son to me next chapter he WILL be hearing from my lawyer and I will be taking full custody 🤝

Hola!

ok but... I LOVE this! I couldn't agree more!

It's like one big massive hard dish of cold truth. And I think that's what's so deeply resonant about this particular theme in the story is the idea that the road to hell is paved with good intentions because there are simply so many moving parts that are beyond our control.

Of course, in this case, we're also talking about how these characters are responsible for, not just their own misfortunes, but also that of others.

So, as you say, I also love that "in this story, protagonist or not actions have consequences and plot armour isn't gonna save anyone this time".

Because ain't that the fucking truth? Like if I had plot armor going for me I'd be a millionaire by now lol. But instead I have to sit with the consequences of my choices loooool.

idk, I am going on a tangent here but I just love how Gege can write about these deep truths about the human condition that are so relatable and agree with you that he's doing a beautiful job of it.

And to me, that's the kind of storytelling I like. So I also hear you about trusting Gege's storytelling.

I'm looking forward to seeing where Gege takes this whole thing AND to more word vomit from you too! Thank you for sharing the jjk-love!

Also, I'm totally interested in joining a class-action suit against Gege for custody of Megumi LOL 🤝.

Thank youuuuuuuuu 🫶🏼.

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #god I love jujutsu kaisen

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shmowder · 1 day

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Whoa, you did amazing on your first run of P2! I made it through but like half the town died so I definitely enjoyed getting all the dialogue I missed the first time around. And just being able to spend a little more time appreciating the environment was nice, too.

You definitely make the first game sound interesting! And I would finally find out what everyone sees in Daniil 🤔

I also wanted to ask, do you have a favorite kid character? Sticky is mine.

Daniil, in the first game is... absolutely something. I love him, but god, I'm just in the first day of his route, and I can't stand his dialogue choices. He just keeps talking! he never stops. He has so much to say about everything and everyone at all times. He will fluff up the sentences with filler words and pleasantries.

Interacting with him as Artemy was fun because he was that silly dramatic guy from the Capital and you're only subjected to his theatrics once every two to four business days, plus the occasional letter he loves sending at the stroke of midnight, making you wonder if this is the time he inevitably went mad and is sharing the news with you as you open it.

BUT BEING DANIIL DANKOVSKY IS AN INSUFFERABLE EXPERIENCE.

I keep mansplaining everything to anyone who shows the slightest interest in me. Eva is flirting with me, and all I can do is abruptly change the conversation topic to be about death, very smooth Danill, I'm sure imagining her invetiable demise reeled her in.

...Am I describing myself? Is this what I'm doing right now?

Anyway, my favourite kid! My favourite child! this is gonna be a very long essay because I adore all the little rascals in Pathologic.

We're starting with Sticky <3

When I was playing P2, it was definitely Sticky. You mentioned him being your favourite!

With sticky, he is the first kid to actually give you a chance as Artemy. Sometimes, it feels like he adopted himself into your life and not the other way around. He just shows up and is immediately ride or die with you for life.

He steals for us! Breaks the law just to help us because he knows we are short on money! He doesn't have any medical knowledge but he tries his best to learn from watching you and the occasional questions.

He is endlessly curious and thirsty for knowledge. You can witness it each time you mention a medical term he doesn't know like serum or panacea, and he tries his best to understand what you're saying. Even if it doesn't make sense, he takes your words with blind trust. He wants to be just like you and it's so endearing.

I also adore how they gave him a personality that isn't just a docile student who agrees with everything you say.

No, Sticky will argue with you at times, insult you at others even. Especially his idle spoken dialogue where he keeps saying "How can people protect themselves from the infection? You're a doctor, you should know!"

It's the "You should know!" part that always gets me. He is upset that you don't know something! That's how much he secretly looks up to you and puts you on a pedestal. That when faced with the reality that you're not all-knowing and struggling to invent a cure, he's hurt and angry. Like you betrayed him by not being his superhero.

STICKY I'M SORRY MY SON I WILL DO BETTER I WILL GET 1000 COLLEGE DEGREES THAT WILL PUT THE BACHELOR TO SHAME PLEASE COME BACK!

His other idle spoken dialogue lines are also priceless. They tell a complete story on their own.

"I'll learn how to cure this plague myself. I'm a master of many skills!"

"I know the Lines, too. How else could I find my way around all the attics, and the cellars, and those twisty yards?"

He's trying to copy Artemy, to copy you the player and your effort to cure the plague. He's so small in this big world and can only effect so little in the grand scheme of the universe but he refuses to acknowledge that! He refuses that fate of being a helpless kid for you to save, he wants to be more and goddammit he will be more.

But he can't. He won't. At the end of the day, he is just a kid not matter how many tantrums he throws. He wants you to take him seriously and treat him with the same familiarity as other adults which is why insults you and jokes with you.

He wants Artemy to joke insult him too like he does with Stakh, he wants Artemy to confide in him and share theories like he does with Daniil.

HE WANTS HIS DAD TO BE PROUD OF HIM MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT.

"You don't look so happy. Musta come from the hospital"

He notices your mood, he studied your reaction and knows your routine by heart. He can tell the difference between Artemy's upset face and his normal resting scary ripper face.

Sticky tries to sympathise. But he has never seen a hospital before in his life, all he knew about them was what he read in picture books as a toddler while learning the alphabet and someone put Hospital under the letter H.

The makeshift Theatre-turned-hosptial could never compare to a real one. I've spent time in hospital and my doctor brother told me about the absolute horrors of the emergency care and surgery sections. The many peoples of which will die in front of your own eyes and there is nothing you can do to save them.

All of his world view is extremely limited. Artemy is the lense in which he views the world with, in an attempt to decipher and understand it. You've became his teacher since the moment the first ever question slipped from his mouth and you answered it with sincerity.

"My path was called In Defiance. I almost tracked down that weird creature, but then I found a better goal. I'm going to become a real doctor. "

In the marble nest, when Artemy's dead, Sticky attempts to still follow his fate and seeks the Bachelor. He confesses his dream of still wanting to be a doctor but Daniil is dismissive and only directs him towards the academic path.

It's clearly not the same, it clearly eats up at Sticky to have his old mentor die in order, a second time, to invent a cure and now he can't mourn because he has to convince the only other doctor in town to take him under his wing.

Artemy allowed him a chance, took him seriously, looked past his lack of education and taught him the same way his own father used to teach him. Because Artemy genuinely relates and understands Sticky's situation, he grew up in this town.

Daniil who lives in the capital where every child is handed a bright future and guaranteed education could never relate to the kids of the town who grew up without a single school. He feels bad for them yes but he can't see Sticky as capable of anything besides staying out of trouble and letting the real doctors do their job.

Daniil lives in his concept of a utopia where children are always protected and never put in dangerous situations while capable adults handle everything. A world where he closes a grocery to not spread infection because that's what's right and necessary, without caring about how the families will feed themselves now.

Artemy lives in the grim reality of orphans trading bullets and razors just to get enough food to stay alive, of them risking getting infected just to acquire plague maps for him to purchase, in the world where he helped a kid steal from a store for his own sake because he knew he couldn't afford saying no in these dire circumstances.

Sticky does a lot of work behind the curtains. He keeps the lair clean and takes care of Murky. It's a shame we don't get to see him doing these things in-game, besides his model changing spots depending on the time of day.

This interaction happens on the third (or second?) day! The kid barely knows us, and he is already looking for our approval and doing chores around the house. I mentioned before how the Haruspex's lair floors are constantly wet-looking in a different post, and that detail is probably due to Sticky constantly moping the floors and keeping things tidy.

I wish Artemy was more gentle with him, I wish he spoke softer to him like he does with Murky. I know he treats her like that because she is younger and more gaurded but god Sticky deserves to be told good job too!

Sticky absolutely adores Murky. He makes her candy with melted sugar and tries to cheer her up. But he also tends to idolise Isidor a little too much. They end up in fights a lot because he always defends Isidor and his actions no matter what anyone says.

In p1, Sticky absolutely did not get along with any of the kids. Notkin invited him to join his gang, and Sticky refused, Khan wanted him to do a favour too, and Sticky declined. He doesn't play with other kids, he doesn't engage with them, and he is mostly alone.

It doesn't seem like that changed much in P2, sure the others don't mention him by name but also you don't ever see him wandering to the hubs the other kids are so fond of.

So for him to be kind and befriend Murky despite all the alienation he has suffered all his life from other kids, it really must have been a challenging step for him to take. He immediately accepts her as his sister and doesn't ask any questions.

In his free time, before becoming a student, he used to uncover mysteries and perform experiments detective conan style. Camping at the steppe at night to witness one of those clay vampire creatures despite no one believing him, attempting to get to the bottom of remours.

He's clearly very fascinated by the kin folktales and mystical creatures beyond just fantasy. What others dismissed as childish beliefs, he looked at with rationality and attempted to make sense of. The same burning curiosity reared its head when Artemy shared stories about the kin with him.

Even his idle dialogue shows his lingering fascination with the supernatural world, with the miracles of the kin. He doesn't fear them, he wants to witness them despite the consequences.

"The murderer is a steppe demon! A shabnak-adyg! I just know it!"

"A long neck and a fat body. And hooves for feet—so it's an Albino. And people say it wasn't the earth that made it!"

"Have you seen a pale, glimmering man walking around at night?"

Just imagine Artemy passing down all of the kin tales to Sticky, the ones his father used to tell him, the ones he learned from the herb brides, the ones Oyun used to whisper to him, the ones Aspity shared during their brief interactions.

Isidor's death greatly affected him. He never speaks about him or shows it, but the fear of abandonment has already taken root. It's apparent in the endgame dialogue when he's refusing any idea of you leaving, even ten years from now, when he is a full 20-something adult.

Just the mention of leaving has him terrfied and panicking, he doesn't want to experience the loss of another father so soon. He clings to you like gum throughout all of the game and doesn't leave your lair out of fear you won't be there when he comes back.

He sits in that broken chair and watches over Artemy as he sleeps, that kid needs a hug and reassurance so badly.

Suddenly, he has a sister to take care of, a father who loves him and is willing to teach him, a house with his own room, a future ahead as a Menkhu doctor. He has his dream coming true, and he won't survive having it taken from him.

The devs leave a lot of room for you to influence Artemy's choices and reactions throughout the game, even when it's just flavour plot texts and I love that. In my version of events, Artemy rejected all the proposals and job offers from Young Vlad, General Block, Yulia and the rest to be their assistants or travel with them.

Instead he remains home to be a Menkhu, watching over his town and helping whatever remains of the kin to survive. He accepts Lara's offer to help him take care of Sticky and Murky as co-parenting and friends. He raises both of them to be wonderful amazing adults who listen to their hearts and follow their own dreams.

Maybe add Aglaya survives and they have a long distance romance and the kids are intrigued by her terrifying aura-

ANYWAY.

Honourable mentions, Murky, Taya and Notkin.

Murky because of EVERYTHING SHE IS. I will surrender my own life to see her happy.

THIS MOMENT MADE ME CRY. ACTUALLY FUCKING FULL ON WEEP IRL.

Do you remember her words to us? to Artemy?

"What is there about you to love? Nothing. So I don't."

"I don't need you. Nuh-uh. Things were great without you. Great."

"Why did you come here? I don't need you. Nobody here needs you. We're not friends with her anymore, anyway."

"Why should I love you? I don't need to love you at all. I can stop loving you whenever I want."

She keeps repeating how she doesn't love us, how there is nothing to love, how she doesn't need you, she doesn't need anyone....She can stop loving us whenever she wants, she can stop if she wants to she is so sure of it...

And she knows she is lying the whole time.

She loved Artemy since the first moment she saw him.

Which was when he murdered those three people after getting off of the train. She saw a murderer, a ripper, and loved him as daughter loves her father.

Covered in blood in our worst, Murky looked at us and saw a gentle heart and a nurturing soul.

Sticky is scared of being abandoned again so he clings to us, Murky is scared of loving us so she clings to a lie. She wants a dad, she wants a brother, she only has her doll and a broken train car to call her own.

The only thing left from her parents, her lonely doll. And it was your father whom caused their death and orphaned her, what cruel fate to make her love you as a father.

The son of her parents killer.

Not a gradual love that we work for, No. She loved is since the single moment she saw us. How terrifying is that for a kid who has known no love or warmth in this life.

For Notkin, he always seemed like the most willing out of the bound kids to be your friend, not counting your own two adopted kids. By the end of the game, he asks to join the kin and says you're already one of his guys, you have a half soul too and it's massive and so cool.

He blatantly states how much he likes you, how much you've grown on him and stood by his gang's side through the game. He shares with you his dream of opening a warehouse in the future, describing something very similar to what Grief currently has minus the crime.

How poetic it is! Grief and Artemy being childhood friends only for Notkin aka mini-Grief version to end up liking grown Artemy too and wanting to be his friend.

Murky does remind of Lara now that we mention it. In one of the items descriptions, Artemy mentions how Lara knitted him the blue sweater that he's wearing ingame under the surgical grab and when he asked her why blue, she said because it's the colour of idiots and never knitted him anything again.

Murky and her are absolutely kind and selfless to a fault, both treating Artemy with apparent hostility and sharp words when in reality they care for him more than anything.

Notkin and Grief putting an air of being dangerous so Artemy wouldn't get any ideas, but eventually warming up to him and entrusting him with their sincere emotions in rare moments of vulnerability. Both are trying to be good leaders for people under their care, both appreciate his help in dire situations and give him back when they can. Grief is the first to hand you items to get you started ingame, and in Notkins warehouse, a kid gives you bread and milk, later they give you the first plague map for free.

In a way, it feels like Sticky adores Artemy in the same way Rubin must have idolised Isidor.

Jfwifjwkd Artemy straight up adopted the kids equivalent of his childhood friends that is so peotic.

Finally, there is Taya!

For her, I feel more of a personal connection rather than any bond she may have with Artemy. She reminds me of myself as a kid in a way. She looks spoiled but in reality she is very isolated and only have interacted with adults all her life who keep reminding her of her responsibility.

She wants to be a kid so desperately but she is forced to play the mother superior role. And despite all her lack of emotional development at that age, she does her best to sincerely play that role. To be wise and study the responsibility handed to her.

In P1, she mentions nonchalantly how her father, the previous leader of the kin, was killed by the kin in her place, he died to protect her from being killed. She mentions that if you choose to sacrifice big vlad in place of young vlad.

Saying how the father should always pay for the sins of his children.

Isidor died so Artemy may live

Her father died so she may be spared

Big Vlad died in place of his son getting killed.

Taya is very childish at times in a way that I wish she was allowed to express more. Just look at these scenes.

SHE JUST WANTS CHOCOLATE AND SWEETS, BUT HAS TO PLAY THE ROLE OF A HOLY LEADER TO A WHOLE COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WITH CULTURE OLDER THAN THAN THE WORLD. SHE IS TRYING HER BEST OKAY.

God it's like she's holding the weight of the world on her shoulders but laughing and smiling despite of it as she dreams of strawberries.

STRAWBERRIES! THAT'S LITERALLY HER BIGGEST DREAM.

Ugh she is so tiny too! LOOK AT HER. You can put her in you pocket but she might get lost between the loose change!!

SHE IS 4 GRASS BLADES TALL!!! FOUR! SHE IS PROBABLY 5 APPLES TALL LIKE HELLO KITTY! SHE IS JUST A LITTLE GIRL AAAAAAAAA

LET ME ADOPT HER GAME!! LET ME HAVE HER LIVE IN ARTEMY'S HOUSE WITH STICKY AND MURKY AS HER OLDER SIBLINGS! PLEASE I NEED IT! BRING NOTKIN TOO!

The remaining kids, Capella, Khan, Grace and even Taya herself, don't seem that fond or attached to Artemy. Their fates cross a lot and some of them clearly saw Isidor as a father figure but it's never the same with Artemy.

Taya only cares for him as Menkhu, she is mother superior and he is one of her "children" like any other person from the kin.

Capella sees him as a business partner in a way, she asks for favours and promises to repay tenfolds when she becomes a mistress. Her goals and Artemy's allign so they are partners in planning.

Sometimes, I wonder if Artemy was supposed to be born much later. Because Capella describes a future where he is included with these kids when it comes to rebuilding the town. The fact his own mother died during childbirth makes me consider that theory a bit more, maybe his parents rushed into having a second kid when his older brother passed away which caused health problems to his mother.

So Artemy was supposed to be born much later alongside these kids and play his role in rebuilding the town. But it's just a theory.

A GAME THEOR-

Thank you so much for the praise about finishing the game! I want to lie and say it was effortless. But.It.Was.Not. 500 reloads. But I loved every minute, I would hate going to sleep because it meant I had to stop play and would open the game first thing after waking up. It was literally and addiction and I couldn't remember my own name and life event but I for sure had the list of items best to trade to which town npcs memorised.

I want to replay it after finishing it P1. It is fun but it can be boring at times which is why I'm moving at a slugs pace in Daniil's route. Part of me is also dreading finishing it since I will only have Clara's route to play by then....and its over like that.

Maybe by stalling, I'm hoping that P2 Bachelor's route will come out sooner.

I definitely enjoyed this conversation <3 I love talking and talking loves me, I have a million opinions on everything and so much to say about pathologic. If you ever get curious about a certain subject, character or concept, shoot me an ask since I will have so much fun writing out the essay.

I hope you had fun reading this! I try to sprinkle in jokes so it's not just a big dump of information but eh, I love mansplaining guilty as charged.

Take care anon! I hope your day is wonderful. Also wanna be called Sticky anon if you're going to be a frequent quest on here?

#♧artemy #artemy burakh #♧sticky #sticky burakh #murky burakh #♧Murky #Pathologic #pathologic 2 #pathologic classic hd #♧character study #♧Notkin #notkin pathologic #taya tycheek #♧Taya

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piningprecussionist · 4 months

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(Not an rp ask)

What is your opinion on chau x kim? I'm not a shipper of it myself but I heard it was a proship since knives is 17 but also I saw she was 18 in the comic so I'm not sure where to stand on it honestly. But I'd like to hear your opinion about it !! Sorry if this is a bit of a random ask (ーー;

You're completely fine!! Do not even worry about it.

So, yeah- When Scott first meets Knives, and I'm not entirely sure how much time passes between then and when they start dating, it was *literally* her seventeenth birthday, as I am reminding myself reading back over these panels presently. And then at the start of book six, the first time we see (real, non-dream,) Knives, she has apparently been eighteen for a week!

Now, I'm going to preface with a little something before I go further into this: I am totally fine answering this ask and others like it I think! but, I will note, I do get like a (not fun) physical sensation in my chest- partly anxiety (lol) but also something else I think- thinking about them like 95% of the time- it's gotta be like. Handled The Right Way, if that makes sense. Let's get into it.

So, first off, I'm just gonna re: some of the stuff relative to this I've posted here before- both nonrp and rp, since I use RP to develop my read on Kim and shed some light on how I see things I guess!

These clips come from this ask (and reblog) here!

This rp ask here, which is simply too difficult for me to get in a good screenshot I feel, so I recommend just checking it and the tags for it out- I will share my Bonus Commentary reply though:

This ask as well! Tags less pressing, but still provide a little insight.

And this is probably a dumb inclusion if I really want to make a pseudonym to post fics under, but. I have posted my (very early) thoughts on the SPTO sparks scene to AO3 before, so- (and before going into this- I did remember that Julie and Gideon have that sparks scene after the fact!)

And here's the Barely Anything Lines hinting at the ship that I had in that fic that I used to justify that blurb, while we're here:

I think I've gone over my feelings a little bit in the discord as well, and there might even be more rp stuff relative to it, but I'm not going to go back and get any of that honestly- at least, not right now, or unless requested, since I don't really feel like it's necessary, if it does exist. This gives a pretty good glimpse in I'd say- especially that second to last one there.

So. Yeah.

Used to ship it; have expanded my horizons since then. I don't really want to knock it because like... for some people this is a legitimate life experience for them- one that might have even turned out well, miraculously. And there also a lot of minors in this fandom evidently, so like, any other baby gays out there just wanting to Project for a minute? I feel that. Sincerely I do. It's not the wisest choice but better to read fanfiction about it than go out and actually make out with a 23 year old, Gods forbid. (Genuinely felt sick thinking about that; fucking gross. Any minors out there: Please Make Good Choices. Look out for yourselves. Begging you. There are too many freaks in this world- I promise you whoever you're thinking of probably isn't the magical exception.)

But there are definitely things to consider about them that are very interesting to me, still, so like. I'm in this weird state of conflict; I don't know if it's just me being like "it happened, you can't escape it" or having been desensitized/some sort of Brainwashed by how many times I had to use Knives in the game to quick heal- maybe something else but I just don't feel like flaying myself open like that unprompted for just anyone- but like. Oh man.

Sorry, gathering/writing this that feeling like went away but came circling back for this last bit, it seems. Which makes sense I guess. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a Pyre right now eugh shfsgkjfhjg

I dunno. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like I know it to be some big formative ship for me in my early teen years, but it was kind of important in finally coming around to realizing how queer I was, I think. My memories of the time are fuzzy, but it would have been one of the things- there were likely larger ones, my current obsession could be recoloring my past here so I'm trying to acknowledge that.

But there is like. A dynamic that is posited by them that is also one I'm a really big sucker for. More so now than I was then, so I find myself grinding my teeth about that a fair bit at times.

I definitely still really like it as something unrequited no matter what I think; I like the idea of Knives having a really big crush on Kim, genuinely. I think it's cute and funny as hell for how uncomfortable it would make Kim, who's just trying so hard not to be a fucking creep while this ray of sunshine hangs off her- something she absolutely does not deserve (in her eyes.)

I'm obviously more partial to Kim resisting any advances made at her, but I can understand so, so badly why someone might be attracted to the idea of Knives managing to thaw some of Kim's frigidity with that. Ugh.

If they work for me, I think they'd have to work for me after Knives is gone at college for a bit. Kim would need to know Knives for longer than she knew her as a minor- and they'd have to be FRIENDS in that time, quite strictly. Kim would need to not feel (intensely, because frankly, she would unavoidably feel this way at least a little no matter what,) like she was a fucking groomer going into it, basically. I don't know what I think past that.

You know, I'll put my feelings like this: with the exception of a fic I saw recommended to someone that intrigued me, I have managed to resist reading any/many fics featuring them, despite it being a large majority of the wlw Kim fics that exist, and also kinda just Kim fics generally. It's kind of Insane, especially considering how much Kimona SCREAM at you from the pages of the comic itself- but I digress....

I've been working on this for like over an hour now I think so I really should cut myself off. I am like,, too hungry and mildly stoned to be rambling off about this maybe. If you want more concise/specific thoughts, I recommend prompting! I can try and channel the responses easier with a bit more direction, maybe?

...

actually another thing real quick- I like. Do not know that I could ever feel comfortable, truly, consuming content for them, not knowing if the OP has good intentions. I just Do Not trust people, largely, so that's just like. A little thing. Idk. "Death to the author" or whatever but I am still allowed to feel personally uncomfortable ya know! I don't want them taking my silent observation as like,, passive acceptance in the event that they were. Idk if that makes sense, I need to go eat already, I'm hitting post before i drag this out to TWO hours

#w oof. that was a doozy. mostly just on account of how long ive been working at it #but yeah. they fuck me up in some sort of way idk man. i cannot stress enough how much i want to bite people that are freaks about knives +#+ btw. like Going For The Throat I Need You To Bleed Out And Die want to bite people. so even considering it casually i find myself feeling #+like i am a massive hypocrite with the word scrawled in blood across my back or something. but im just a starving gay sdfjkhjsd #and i love Kim So Much. Denying myself Kim content is Actual Hell. and I have persisted.#(i mean. i also probably read some of this stuff back when i was a teenager. so. idk how much im really denying myself. but it's the +#+ thought that counts right? right?? hh... i likely dont remember any of them anyway so. it should totally count.)#ooc #txt #glitterminionking12 #am i really gonna put these in the tags.... hhhh yeah i guess i am #if any of the people that know me read this and can see i am shooting myself in the foot here please slap me in the discord i'll understand #i might just be having a Moment #sp comic #spvtw #spto #kim pine #knives chau #possibly the only post- unless i get asked about it more- that is gonna get the ship tag for them i guess? what even is their ship name...#ship stuff #no seriously what is their ship name im sitting here blanking i dont know how to tag this for people that dont wanna see it. or do i guess #knikim #sounds kinda like knick-em in my mind so im doing that for now #since starting to type any of the ones i thought of doesnt make a suggested tag pop up or anything #if there is one someone please tell me maybe and ill tag it #long post #headcanons #i guess?#spvtwtg #forgot that one

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epickiya722 · 1 year

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😍 TOGA... I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT HER 😍

Been thinking about Toga, and I have some thoughts.

Would she actually qualify as a yandere character?

I'm gonna tell this right now, I am not an expert when it comes to any of the "dere" character types, especially for yandere.

My basic knowledge (in terms of characters) is that a yandere is usually a character who is obsessed/very much in love with someone that they're willing to get violent for and at them. They will get others they see as obstacles out the way for the sake of themselves and their "love".

Now with Toga, in my perspective, it fits but also doesn't??

She gets violent and has an obsession with those she "loves".

But aren't yanderes also typically possessive and jealous, too?

Toga... she hasn't shown jealousy like that. In fact, she seems more intrigued about sharing feelings with the same person than knocking the competition out the way.

Like the moment she realized Ochaco likes Izuku, she didn't seem to exhibit any dislike for Ochaco for liking Izuku. She was giddy over that! She didn't see Ochaco as competition and I think she has a thing for her, too.

She states she wants to be like the people she loves. Most yanderes I can think of, think about kissing their love interest, marrying their love interest.

With Toga... she hasn't expressed she wants the typical romance. She wants to see people bleed that she takes a liking to. She also likes to know that person just a little more.

Yanderes also tend to be protective and manipulative.

Toga isn't. Wait, no, before anyone comes at me!

She's not protective and manipulative in the sense of "I hurt people to protect you" and "you only need me, no one else". Break that love interest down until they can rely on just her and her only. She hasn't done that to Izuku, Ochaco or anyone else.

Then yanderes also have that habit of "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you ever try to leave me". While mostly they're unstable, they still have that sense of knowing what they're doing is wrong somewhat but don't care for their own selfish reasons. They don't want to get violent, but they will if they have to and enjoy it.

Toga, again, doesn't really match that for me. She will hurt people, but she confuses her hurting others as way of showing affection feom the start of knowing that person. She doesn't hold herself back from hurting those she loves. She doesn't use threats or "I'll use this as a way of punishing you so you know not to leave me again".

Whether you are someone she likes or doesn't, she will hurt you. She doesn't mind getting violent, even when she doesn't have to. (Example, her talk with Ochaco where she used that old lady disguise.)

Now if anyone labels Toga as a yandere, that's fine. I'm not saying that's the wrong label for her. Hell, she's labeled as a yandere on some sites and her prototype design apparently depicted her as more as the yandere type.

I'm just curious if there's... I don't know... are there like other yandere types she falls under, too? Does anyone don't think she's a yandere?

I mean to me, she's just a girl with a very odd way of showing her crushes her affections with a blood quirk she uses to mimic as someone.

Sometimes I feel with character archetypes, you got to really dig deep to identify what that character may be to the story.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #just kiya's thoughts #toga himiko #himiko toga #yandere #bnha spoilers #🔪😍🩸

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waitwithwaluigi · 2 years

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Why I like Quirkless!Midoriya AUs

TW: explicit mentions of discrimination and bullying against disabled (ends at ***)

TL;DR at the bottom

So I've got mental illness. (I know, I'm a pretty rare find on tumblr) Despite the fun cocktail of disabilities I had, I wasnt diagnosed until later in my teens. As you can guess, school wasn't very fun. I was disadvantaged because I was different. I was treated as less, as if I had something missing and nothing I could ever say or do could fix that. I didn't know what people thought of me though.

Dont get me wrong- I am not my disabilities. But I can say for certain, it's been a huge factor in how I see the world now, how I move around it. The protective rage and resigned acceptance I feel when I see discrimination against minority groups might not be the same as an able person. The desperate kicking and clawing to establish better resources for people like me isnt the same. The frustration and exhaustion I feel when the school board sees my 'condition' listed and having to prove myself competent over and over again isn't the same.

I've had my fair share of Fun!! and Exciting!!! experiences in discrimination!!!!

Like saying hello to the koi fish while trying to rescue my school bag that a teacher had flung out of the classroom after she got tired of my ADHD ass. (I bet you can guess how I felt when I saw That™️ koi pond scene) I was called out to the front of the class and told to unpack my bag and and show my classmates how disgusting I was (I was depressed and decided to just carry all my books around instead of unpack and repack according to schedule). I remember sprinting after my packed lunch but being so depressed and exhausted to keep going for more than 5 minutes. I was made an example of when I forgot my things and had to go back to school during the afternoon classes to grab the worksheet I left in class.

Through it all had to keep quiet. I was less, after all. If I wasn't, why did so many ignore the bullying? Why did they let go of me and say I was exagerating when they found me Too Much To Handle?

(Not looking for pity btw, just giving context)

***

Now, I initially began reading MHA fics because I was a teen who saw pretty people and cool fighting and was like "damn shawty, I'm gonna need more". (All hail Yaomomo) Then I came across the Quirkless Midoriya Izuku tag and was like huh.

Pretty interesting concept, right? So I read. And I read and I read and I read. And something just clicked. It wasnt like one of those mental illness success stories where they where overly positive or ones where I had to keep taking breaks because I kept getting reminded of the bs I went through. It was just removed enough but still relatable to my experience. Midoriya wouldn't be less if he didn't get a quirk.

In these fics, he found ways to work around it. Like yeah, maybe finding a work arounds when fighting your besties with god-like abilities while you have nothing isn't the same as finding a way to study that best suited my ADHD ass. But the fight to be considered equal, the ways I had to find creative ways to problems that my classmates thought nothing of. It resonated with me. (The fantasy and escapism were bonuses too)

It gives me a little extra push when I get too exhausted after the 100th time that day I have to prove that I am just as capable as anyone else.

While I'm not really a fan of Quirkless Villain!Midoriya cuz its typically a little too edgy for me, I do like it when its written well. Fuck the system and fuck the assholes who doubt us, right?

Something Fun!! I've experienced with disabilities is that you sometimes have to ignore any system entirely and just Do It. Just kick people in the shins and carve out the opportunity that nobody would bother giving you. Maybe one day they'll recognise you, maybe not. But you're doing what you've always wanted to do. That's something I feel when I read Quirkless Vigilante!Midoriya fics.

Quirkless AUs aren't like Batman where he's Super Intelligent and has 70 black belts. There isnt as much angst oof. He was just some Dood with determination and some smarts. We get to see him train, see the emotions and struggles all written out. Not to mention, I was a teen when I found MHA so it was extra relatable. I'm very sure that there are superheroes who fit that description but this niche is what I found.

That's why I like Quirkless!Midoriya AUs so much.

Do I think him becoming a hero will change a lot? No, not as much as me becoming a world famous super star would. But it would inspire. Even if it inspired just one person, stopped one person from doing something bad to soothe the ache, wouldn't it be enough? It inspired me at least.

Tl;dr: I seeing people with 'less' ability than their peers be equal and overcome challenges using creative solutions since they arent as 'catered' to, just like a disabled person. Its also easier to read without getting triggered compared to an actual book about mental illness discrimination.

Please enjoy this adorable panel as thanks for reading

#quirkless deku #quirkless au #quirkless midoriya izuku #my hero academia #my hero acedamia #vigilante deku #vigilante midoriya #i thought up a whole rant in the shower and I forgor most of it 💀#rant #tw: discrimination #boku no academia #villain midoriya #rant post #mentally ill #quirkless discrimination

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