#this is also like. my compromise for an enemies to lovers fic
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Senators Shadow
Pairing: Anakin x Reader
Summary: Anakin is your regular Jedi guard whenever your job in the senate brings you to Coruscant which wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t spend the entire time practically ignoring you making It clear he didn’t really want to be there. Until something changes on this trip and the two of you start to become close.
Warnings: Swearing, some jealous Anakin, scene where the readers being shot at from a crowd, that should be it
Word Count: 10K (may have gotten a bit carried away with this one but I hope its worth it!)
A/N: I’m a sucker for an enemies to lovers type thing plus a jealous Anakin moment so I wrote this to amuse myself (cause what’s the point of being a writer if you can’t write a fic for yourself once in a while?) Easily the longest one I’ve written so I hope you enjoy!!
You never really liked having to be on Coruscant. Things moved too fast here, you were always rushing from one meeting to another, prepping for speeches, consulting others, it often felt like you never got a chance to breathe only making you long for the minute you could leave and go back home.
And the longer you had to stare into Anakin’s eyes, the more you felt that longing grow.
“I appreciate the concern Jedi Skywalker” you addressed the man before you formally, interlacing your fingers and setting them on your desk, pushing forth an air of professionalism and authority “but I do not need a jedi guard for the time that I’m here”
A hint of a smirk graced his lips at your words, however, nothing more than its ghost ever appeared, a twitch in the corners of his lips. Often you wondered if you simply read too much into his expressions. “and I’m afraid your excellency that both the senate and the jedi council disagree”
There was no denying that Anakin was incredibly good looking, even if you tried to ignore that as much as possible, this simple fact was enough to have the people within the capital constantly whispering about him. Beyond this, however, he also had the reputation of being devilishly charming. You never got the chance to know that side of Anakin.
Sometimes you see glimpses of that version of him, you certainly did when you first met him as he introduced himself with a boyish grin and a look that had your cheeks stained scarlet, but since that first encounter it has been nothing but this stoic, aloof jedi that was now before you. And some stupid part of you wondered if it had been something you said that first night that pushed him away.
“Alright this is, however, my person we are talking about” you argued back, fighting down your own annoyance at his persistence “I get final say in what happens to it and that includes whether or not I have someone guarding it”
His answer was quick and to the point, as it always was “that is not how this works”
And oh how you loathed his complete lack of emotion, here you were out on a limb trying to reason with him, trying to compromise, trying to get something, anything out of him and still he responded as if you were little more than a talking brick wall.
“Then tell me Jedi Skywalker” You tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm yourself down, unable to keep the bite completely out of your words “how does this work?”
He leaned back in his chair causally, crossing his ankle over his knee, exuding confidence as he stated simply “either you let me act as your guard or you don’t make the speech next week”
You raised an eyebrow back at him, your voice dropping to a dangerous level “excuse me?”
“the jedi council has it on good authority there is going to be an attempt on your life so the senate is not going to let you on the floor unless they have reason to believe you aren’t going to die upon it” he explained indifferently, as if you were the one being ridiculous here.
“Wouldn’t resources be better spent actually looking for the person threatening my life then?” you pointed out with a sigh, posture slumping over slightly as you spoke, resigning yourself to the shadow being forced upon you for the next week.
“Oh we do have people on that” he assured you “just not me”
“No you’re on guard duty” you rolled your eyes at him.
“I’m on guard duty” he echoed back and you tried to ignore how hollow the words came from him, it would seem he was as happy about this assignment as you were.
And you wished you had a biting remark back for that, not fully ready admit just why his words bothered you so much, but you didn’t, instead you were left staring at Anakin in the chair before you, him doing the same as a brief silence fell over the two of you before a knock at the door broke it, one of your aide’s, head popping through the doorway.
“I have Jace here to see you senator”
You felt the smile grown naturally on your face at the news, unaware that your best friend and quite possibly the only person who could make this week better was even on Coruscant.
“Thank you please send him in” you nodded at her, eyes flicking back down to Anakin’s form, smile slowly dropping from your face as your gaze met his small glare “are we done here jedi?”
“It would appear so” he nodded stiffly, pushing himself up to a standing position, his mouth open, ready to say something when a new voice cut him off.
“Y/N Y/L/N it has been far too long”
A giggle escaped past your lips as Jace slipped into the room with wide arms, you not hesitating to meet him halfway across the room, more than happy to be caught up in his bone crushing hug as a greeting.
“Jace how could you not tell me you were going to be here” you chastised him with a small hit of his arm once he set you down, the grin never once leaving your face, you weren’t sure you could admit to even him how badly you needed someone on your side this week.
“Thought I’d surprise you” he shrugged with a wink and you were so excited to see him you almost missed the other voice as it spoke up from across the room.
“Senator”
Your head whipped around to meet Anakin’s gaze, a raised brow silently asking your question for you.
“I’ll be outside the room”
You didn’t have time to give any response before he was ducking out the door, finally leaving you and Jace alone.
“You have a babysitter” Jace mused with a smirk on his lips as he made his way to the bar cart in the corner, making the two of you a drink without being asked as you slumped down into one of the chairs before your desk.
“I have a babysitter” you groaned. The words, now that they were in the open, cementing themselves in reality “and it just had to be Anakin fucking Skywalker”
Jace snorted as he brought the drinks over, wordlessly handing you one as he sat in the chair next to you “of course it’s Anakin Skywalker, it’s always Anakin”
You furrowed your brow at him, taking a sip of your drink “it is not always Anakin, last time I had Master Obi-wan”
“Because Anakin was on a mission in Crait for nearly a month at that time” Jace pointed out with a smirk making you frown.
“I’m sorry you just know Anakin’s schedule at all times?”
“I knew about it last time because like I said you always get Anakin as security” he chuckled shaking his head at you as if it were obvious.
“I do not” you insisted still, mind racing as you thought back to the last time you had been assigned a jedi that wasn’t Anakin “Just last year I had Master Kuno”
“mmmm when you made that speech denouncing the banking clan” Jace hummed softly as he thought “I believe Anakin was on medical leave then”
You shook your head at your friend, sipping your drink ��you do acknowledge that it’s weird that you know that right? It’s important to me that you know that”
Jace chuckled at that shaking his head softly at you “and it’s weird that you’ve never noticed that Anakin, if he is available, is always your guard”
“Alright so the jedi order decided to assign their young padawan to guard the young senator” you thought as you talked, more or less making up your own rationalizations on the spot “pair the two people who are up and coming in their respective careers”
Jace didn’t even bother to refute that, sending you no more than an unimpressed expression with a raised brow. You realized with a sigh you already knew exactly where he was going with this as he opened his mouth to speak.
“no” you held up your finger, interrupting him “don’t even try”
“Y/N it’s obvious” he sighed nearly making you choke on your drink.
“Obvious? Really Jace, obvious?” you nearly laughed “I can’t even get the guy to talk to me for longer than like two minutes”
Jace just shrugged at that, as if it made no difference “He’s a jedi, they’re weird maybe he’s nervous or something”
At that you did laugh, not liking how bitter it sounded out in the open “you’ve seen how he talks to every other woman in the capitol he’s definitely not nervous”
At that Jace froze, a single eyebrow raising as he nearly gaped at you “I haven’t, but I’m very interested to learn that you’ve noticed this”
You groaned inwardly, feeling your cheeks heat up on the spot “that is not the point I’m trying to make”
“It’s the point now” Jace cut you off with a wicked grin “Y/N Y/L/N is there something you want to get off your chest”
“I will have him come in here and throw you out” you threatened, unable to keep the small smile off your face as you did so.
“Hey if you wanted time alone with him all you had to do was say so” Jace held his hands up defensively, smirking down at you.
You nearly threw your drink at him.
-
You would think after all of these trips to Coruscant you would learn to pack properly. That, however, would make things just too easy.
You were prepared for meeting rooms, for the senate floor, for your bedroom. You had professional clothing, comfy clothing, pajamas, you were prepared for anything within the capital building that could take place.
What you were not prepared for was a walk to Dex’s diner.
You were supposed to meet a senator at the diner, the man absolutely insisting on dinner while you were meeting, and you could never really say no to eating at Dex’s.
But you could see Anakin’s look of confusion at your outfit choice as you immerged from your room, the man giving you a simple raised brow but still you refused to give into the embarrassment of admitting to your mistake.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” there was no malice in his question but still you felt your cheeks burning at its asking, looking back down over yourself, pretending to not notice that the clothing was much too light for the cold weather outside.
“Yeah why? Is there something wrong with it?”
“Uh no you look” and Anakin paused here, his eyes scanning your form briefly in a way that had you squirming slightly on the spot, his eyes finally making their way back up to your own, Anakin’s voice much softer than before “you look good Y/N”
And if you had thought you had blushed hard before.... Your gaze was quickly thrown to your shoes, a desperate attempt to hide the blush as you mumbled out a thanks before clearing your throat awkwardly, nodding slightly to the door, Anakin nodding back and stepping aside, letting you exit first.
Keeping your head held high you whisked past him, only regretting your situation as soon as the crisp air hit your mostly bare arms.
Warm clothing, how could you forget any and all forms of warm clothing.
You tried to hide your slight shiver, wrapping your arms around yourself to conserve body heat, rubbing a hand up and down your bicep.
“Where’s your coat?” the voice beside you startled you, all too used to walking in complete silence with Anakin, to nearly tuning the man out completely.
“I forgot to pack it” you shrugged, almost wishing you had something more to say, something to keep the conversation going.
Instead the familiar silence fell back over the two of you as you walked, your mind already starting to tune the jedi out once again when you felt something being draped over your shoulders.
In surprise you froze, Anakin following suit as he came to a stop in front of you, hands still on the ends of his robe that now hung around your shoulders, holding it carefully around you. Slipping your arms into the sleeves you held them up to your eyes taking a moment to admire the simple brown robe, how surprisingly soft it was, the way it smelled like Anakin.
“Am I even allowed to wear this?”
“It’s just a robe” Anakin shrugged, already trying to push past the gesture “besides breaking a rule like that is worth you not freezing”
“but it’s a special jedi robe” you protested “am I going to get special jedi powers now?”
And god help you you saw the corners of his mouth twitch up at that, a laugh that came out as more of a cough following shortly that had your heart skipping a beat in your chest “that’s not how that works. Now come on” he tried to usher you forward but you stopped him.
“Hold on what about you” you asked “aren’t you cold”
And you weren’t sure if Anakin noticed the small smile that grew on his lips, didn’t notice or didn’t care, either way you were glad to finally see it “no I’m okay, let’s just-“ and he paused out of nowhere, smile slowly dropping from his lips as he looked up into the sky.
Furrowing your brows you started to do the same, pausing only as Anakin started to approach you, hands coming just beside your ears as he reached behind you, your breath catching in your throat at his closeness. Slowly, grabbing the hood on the cloak he pulled it forward, shrouding your head in it just as you started to notice the fat water droplets that began to stain the ground beneath your feet.
“keep your hair dry” he all but whispered, taking just a second longer before retracting his hands and taking a step back, turning on his heel and ushering you forward with a nod in that direction “come on let’s hurry”
And then he took off as if nothing had happened, as if that wasn’t the most emotion you had gotten out of him since you had met, as if he hadn’t just spent the last several seconds standing closer to you than was strictly necessary, as if your heart wasn’t hammering in your chest so hard you could feel it.
-
Too much of your mental space the rest of the day was spent trying to come up with ways to get Anakin to interact with you again. Like an itch you couldn’t quite scratch you felt this desire to talk to him again, to see that hint of a smile grace his lips, to see that small twinkle in his eye as he huffed and shook his head in amusement down at you. Something, anything that could clue you into what was going on inside of that jedi brain of his.
Beyond proposing a trip to the library, however, you had nothing.
A small nod was all you got for your efforts before he fell into place behind you, always a few feet back, hands held behind his back, head held high, not a single word uttered in your direction, a true return to form even after what had occurred earlier.
And a part of you scolded yourself for thinking it would ever be different, that you had let Jace’s words weasel their way under your skin like that, that you ever thought you’d be anything other than a job to him.
So wordlessly you led on, entering the library with him in tow, doing as you always did and completely ignoring your shadow’s existence for the time being, trying to turn your mind to the task at hand.
But why had that never been as hard before as it was now?
Taking a brief trip around the shelves, Anakin in tow close behind, it was a bit before you could find the exact copy you needed, of course on the top shelf well outside of your reach.
You took a tentative look back at Anakin to see his eyes wondering aimlessly around the library not even paying attention. And for a brief moment you debated asking him for help, he’d given his cloak so freely the other day, had yet to even ask for it back, you’d taken to the habit of wearing it around your rooms when cold. It had been a crack in the walls he erected between the two of you so long ago.
But it was just that, a crack. You’ve spent years at this point with whatever small amount of time spent in Anakin’s company more or less ignoring him, used to his curt nods and short answers, it wasn’t quite so simple to get over that.
With a small sigh you walked over to a nearby table and grabbed a chair, pushing it back in front of the shelf, giving it a small test with your hands before stepping one foot up.
Anakin was by your side in an instant, hands out before him, coming up to grab you but remaining just a bit too far away “What are you doing?”
“I need a book on the top shelf” you shrugged, pushing your weight onto the foot on the seat of the chair, Anakin shifting closer as you did so.
“Alright then I’ll get it” he urged, “this thing spins would you just get down”
“I’m already up here I’ll get it” you brushed him off, one hand on the back of the chair to steady yourself as you brought your other foot up, trying to react quickly with every small movement in the base of the chair as it swiveled slightly.
“Senator-“ Anakin tried again, practically begging you to get down.
“I’m like two feet in the air I’ll be fine” your hand left the back of the chair and immediately the thing pivoted slightly beneath you, your legs reacting by crouching slightly so you could keep your balance.
“Y/N” and you felt him grab you by the forearm, a shock surging through your arm at his sudden touch, effectively freezing you in place, your eyes coming back to connect with his for the first time, noting the concern they carried. His other hand reached out, a book flying off the top shelf and coming right into his palm, Anakin not even breaking eye contact as he did it “Look I’ve got it would you please get down”
And for a second it was like you had forgotten how to breathe, you can’t even remember the last time he had looked into your eyes so intently let alone touch you, the simple act had left you absolutely breathless with gorgeous blue eyes bouncing back and forth between your own and for the first time you felt what it was like to truly be the sole object of Anakin’s attention. You could feel yourself practically shrink within it, your knees aching slightly though you were quick to blame that on your attempt to balance on the chair.
“Uh-yeah” you hadn’t realized how long you had remained still and silent beneath his gaze until you broke its spell, forcing your gaze from his down to your shoes, using his hand as an anchor as you carefully stepped down, not missing the sharp hiss of air that left Anakin the minute you had both feet on the ground.
“here” he sighed almost in relief, holding the book out to you, you carefully taking it from his hands as he moved quickly to push the chair back to the table you had stolen it from.
Looking down at the cover you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, casting your eyes back up to Anakin only to see him already looking at you, a faint smile pulling up at his lips “what?”
“I actually need the one next to this one” you bit the inside of your cheek to contain your own smile as he sighed dramatically, looking back up at the self before easily picking the one you needed off of the top.
“Thank you” you traded books with him, just barely catching the slightly wider smile on his lips as he placed the first back on the shelf. And you decided that you liked that smile, liked being its cause.
Wordlessly he ushered you towards the exit with an extended arm, you nodding sheepishly at him before walking out the doors, Anakin’s footsteps as usual following close behind but this time, to your surprise, he sped up once you got to the hallway, falling into step beside you as opposed to behind.
“So what do you need the book for?” The question startled you, your head whipping around to him on instinct though you tried desperately to restrain your surprise, worried expressing too much of it would scare him off.
“Oh-he’s just one of my favorite writers” you tried to keep your tone as casual as possible, only making you worry it sounded forced, you didn’t like how easily you came to second guessing your every move in the jedi’s presence “I’m hoping I could use some of his style to influence my speech, make it sound a little better”
His brow furrowed at that, his gaze never leaving yours as he spoke “why? I like your style”
You nearly stopped walking, quick blinks coming as you tried to wrap your head around his words, the question slipping out of you before you could think better “you’ve seen me speak before?”
“When I’m free” he shrugged as if it were a given, as if there was nothing better for a jedi to do than listen to a junior senator give a speech.
And for the first time you started to wonder if Jace was right, if there was a reason Anakin always ended up as your guard, if there was more to this tough, distant demeanor than you had previously thought.
“Do you want a drink?” You regretted the offer as soon as it left your lips, easily catching the hesitation on Anakin’s face the minute you asked “I just mean I’m going to be up for a little longer and since you’re stuck keeping me company it’s the least I could do” and he seemed to relax slightly at that only making you tack on more “plus as a thank you for grabbing the book for me”
And there was that small smile again, his features lighting up ever so slightly as it graced his lips, your own mirroring it of their own volition.
“Yeah I’d like that”
-
“You did not!” You exclaimed with a loud laugh, hand coming out instinctively to slap his chest as he grinned back at you, smile hid behind his glass as he raised it up.
“I had no other choice” he defended weakly in a voice that told you he had many.
“That make for three ships you’ve crashed in this story alone” you shook your head with a chuckle “you know someone has to pay for those, namely the people of the republic”
“A small price to pay for peace” he shrugged with a lazy grin, taking a sip of his drink.
“Have you tried this thing, I think they call it landing?” You teased earning a chuckle from the jedi, the sound making your cheeks ache as you tried to contain your grin.
“I’m sorry senator how many ships have you ever flown and landed successfully?” he taunted with a raised brow.
And you could blame it on the alcohol, could blame it on the sleep deprivation, could blame it on the cozy atmosphere in the room. But really it was just Anakin that had you pulling out childhood stories, the way he put you at ease, the strange familiar air of a man who’s spent the last several years practically ignoring you. In all honesty this was the most you had ever gotten from the man in terms of real conversation and you weren’t ready to let that go just yet.
“My father actually taught me to fly as a kid” you offered with a soft smile, watching Anakin’s brows shoot up ever so slightly.
“Really?” he prompted simply, leaving the door open for you to continue if you so choose.
“Yeah” you chuckled softly, casting your eyes down to your drink “he loved the freedom it gave him, the idea that he could go anywhere he wanted at the drop of a hat, could live amongst the stars. I think he wanted to instill that same feeling in me”
“and did he?” he asked with a sentimental smile and briefly you felt like he wasn’t just looking at you but rather watching you as you told your story, something you took a strange comfort in.
“He did” you nodded “he died a few years ago and I associate flying with him so much I feel like I’m working to fall in love with it all over again, just this time alone”
And at your words you watched his smile slowly melt off his face, his eyes casting downward into his own drink, and you prepared yourself for the inevitable. The sympathy, the condolences, the pity, instead Anakin surprised you with a story of his own.
“As a kid I was a pod racer, thought I was significantly better than I actually was ya know” he chuckled softly, eyes glancing up at yours for a brief moment before casting back down “but I knew my mother never really approved, thought it was too dangerous, but she always was my biggest supporter despite everything. I had to leave her years ago for the order and sometimes I wonder if I’m reckless now in some ridiculous bid to be closer to her”
“that’s not ridiculous” you shook your head, Anakin’s eyes coming back up to meet yours “it was a comfort to have your mother care for you in that way, only makes sense that when you miss her you seek that sense of comfort all over again”
And he chuckled softly at that, smiling to himself “I suppose you’re right”
And this time you could definitely blame it on the alcohol, or maybe the slight pink hue you thought you could see in his cheeks, but suddenly you felt yourself forcing your next words to the surface, a desperate need taking over you to have them out in the open. “I know we never really do this but I really like talking to you Anakin”
And for some reason the name felt weird on your mouth this time, felt weird being addressed to him rather than said behind his back, yet still you rather liked it.
A small smile grew on his lips as he looked back at you, eyes bouncing back and forth between your own before he spoke “I like talking to you too Y/N”
And you certainly liked the way your name sounded when he said it like that to you, soft and sweet, less a call to attention and more an affirmation.
His eyes darted to the clock and he sighed softly, leaning forward to set his glass on the edge of your desk “Come on its way past your bedtime”
You chuckled softly at that, shaking your head even as you knew he was right “I’m a senator I don’t have a bedtime”
He laughed back at that, taking your glass from you and setting it onto your desk next to his “and senators need 8 hours of sleep just like the rest of us”
“You expect me to believe you get a full 8 hours of sleep a night” you asked with a raised brow, watching in amusement as he shook his head softly from above you.
“Alright like the rest of us except for jedi knights”
Despite that ridiculous answer you relented, hands coming to the armrests of your chair ready to push yourself up when a hand suddenly entered your field of vision, Anakin’s hand offered simply to you. With a slightly furrowed brow you looked up at him as you took it, standing up with his small aide, coming to a position that had the two of you standing nearly chest to chest and instinctively you felt a small panic rise.
Instead his other hand came to the small of your back as he ushered you forward softly, hand slipping easily from your own as you walked forward out of your office, focused entirely too much on the feeling of his touch as it slowly slipped from your back, on the way he fell into step behind you as usual though this time mere inches away instead of feet.
Too quickly you reached the door to your room, spinning around to face him “this is me” you regretted the statement as soon as it left your mouth, wincing slightly at the sound of your own words which just had him laughing softly.
“Need me to clear it?” he asked in a low tone, his voice barely above a whisper as he inched closer “see if there’s a monster hiding under your bed”
“I think I’ll be okay” you chuckled softly back, scolding yourself for the way your gaze slipped down to his lips, the way your fingers twitched, eager to reach out.
The moment of silence stretched and still you felt yourself drifting closer, felt the friendly atmosphere give way to one of thick tension as the two of you stared back at one another, daring the other to give in and make the first move.
Instead Anakin stepped back, the smile slowly slipping from his lips though never entirely leaving “goodnight Y/N”
And with a sigh you couldn’t entirely contain you nodded softly, leaning against your doorway as you watched him walk back down the hall to his own room, “goodnight Anakin”
-
You dragged yourself from sleep with shallow quick breaths, bolting upright in place, eyes desperately scanning the room for anything that looked familiar.
But of course this was Coruscant and nothing really was.
This wasn’t the first time your sleep has plagued by nightmares, nor the first time you’ve woken up unsure of where you were, of what was going on, of where the threat was coming from.
And logically you knew where you were, in your room, safe, with a jedi guard just next door. So you tried to force yourself to take deep breaths, a hand on your chest as if you could physically push the air into you. And for the most part you had succeeded, your breath slowly but surely returning to normal.
But it didn’t rid you of the initial panic, of the overwhelming sense of dread, of the crushing loneliness of going through this in a room that wasn’t your own.
And for the first time your mind jumped to Anakin, afterall he was just next door.
This past day had been the closest you had ever felt to the jedi, approaching something that resembled friendship as he made an effort for the first time to actually talk to you. And based on that you really didn’t think he would mind, even if it was just him sitting in silence next to you, it was nice just having something there.
But still waking him would be welcoming him to a part of you you weren’t sure you were ready to show him yet. It was a level of vulnerability you weren’t ready to show him yet. Not to mention the man was a jedi, faced death on a near daily basis, was always putting himself in dangers way, what right did you have to go to him with nightmares?
Making up your mind you slipped silently out of your room and made your way to the front door, heading as you usually did to Jace’s apartment.
-
You tried to slip out of the room quietly, more than enough experience at this under your belt to know that you could probably force your way through the front door with a sledge hammer and Jace wouldn’t wake up but still wanting to take precautions nonetheless.
Up on your toes you snuck through the door, pressing the button on the other side to close it, waiting till it fully shut to relax, spinning around to begin the trek back to your rooms, when movement out of the corner of your eye caught you off guard. With a small gasp you stepped back from the mysterious object, nearly stumbling over your own feet, when you realized you recognized the mystery man lurking outside of the door.
“Anakin” you breathed out in relief, hand instinctually coming to your chest in an attempt to slow your racing heart “you scared me”
At first he didn’t say anything, stayed leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, his posture telling you that he couldn’t have been more at ease, but his expression... His jaw was set, clenched hard enough you could see the muscle tensing even from your position, his gaze hard and unflinching as it bore down into you, Anakin was pissed.
“Imagine how I felt when I woke to find your room empty” His tone was cold and biting, as if he were spitting the words at you rather than conversing.
“Alright maybe I should’ve left a note” you conceded “but I figured I’d be back in an hour or two tops, and it’s Jace’s place you’ve met him”
“A note” he scoffed back at you, pushing himself off the wall to come close to you, forcing you to crane your neck in order to make eye contact, refusing to give in and take a step back “What part of this do you not get?”
“What part of what?” you demanded, crossing your own arms over your chest “you found me quite easily what is the harm?”
“What is the-“ he chuckled bitterly as he echoed you under his breath, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose before he burst “you suck out on me!”
“for like an hour” you protested, rising your voice to match his, not caring at this point who heard you
“That doesn’t matter” he paused briefly between each word, putting emphasis on each as he glared at you “I was tasked with guarding you that means I go where you go, everywhere you go, that means you don’t sneak out on me especially not to just spend the night with some guy” he gestured almost in disgust back at Jace’s door “this isn’t some joke Y/N”
“And I’m not treating it like one” you countered, clenching your jaw as you fought back the urge to push him back “you’ve come with me to everything for the entire time you’ve been my guard, I haven’t left your side, I’m playing by your rules”
“this” he gestured vaguely in your direction, a bitter laugh in the back of his throat “this is not playing by my rules, this is disobeying my orders, and a fucking note is not the correct fix to this situation”
“So I should’ve what? Asked you to escort me to Jace’s room at three in the morning?”
You watched him clench his jaw at that, a harsh glare sent back at you as he silently loomed over you, neither of you saying anything for a few seconds, before a deep breath escaped him, his chest deflating slightly as he grabbed your elbow, pulling you down the hallway “let’s just go back Y/N”
But you weren’t giving up on this so easily, weren’t letting him get away with chastising you in the middle of the hallway like you were a child. You ripped your elbow from his grasp, slowing your pace “I can walk myself”
“Really you sure you won’t get lost?” he condescended with a raised brow, crossing his arms in front of his chest “won’t accidentally end up in some other guys room for ‘just an hour’, I think senator Passel’s in this hall I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about him”
You reacted without thinking, your hand coming up and slapping him across the cheek before you could fully process your action, though even after you couldn’t find yourself to regret it. And you knew that on some level Anakin had to have let it happen, it was nearly impossible to catch the Jedi by surprise. But the wide eyes he gave back to you could have had you fooled. You watched as his own hand came up to his cheek, touching the skin lightly, him mouth dropping open ever so slightly, his anger completely dissipating on the spot.
Yours, however, had yet to do so “You’re mad I disobeyed your ‘orders’ fine I can take that, but you do not get to treat me like this and you do not get to throw that kind of insinuation at me” you seethed back at him, hands clenched by your side so hard you could feel your nails digging into the palms.
“Y/N” and you name came out of his mouth on an exhale, a hand coming up to your elbow with a touch much softer than before, a plea in his eyes as he said it.
But you weren’t sure you could take any more of being in Anakin’s presence tonight. As you took a step back his hand fell easily from your arm and you tried to ignore the tingle on your skin it left in its place, tried to ignore the lump you could feel growing at the base of your throat, tried to ignore his silent plea for you to come back.
“Goodnight Jedi Skywalker” and before you could crumble you turned and walked back towards your rooms, hearing Anakin’s reluctant footsteps fall into place a few feet behind you.
-
You felt strangely energized the next morning at breakfast, shoveling food into your mouth as you jotted down notes and took pleasure in the fact that Anakin had yet to wake. Perhaps Jedi did need a full 8 hours of sleep. Senators, it would turn out, can survive on a fraction of that in combination with pure spite.
Your eyes barely glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps that halted a few feet in front of your desk, taking no more than a second to note Anakin’s form as he stood before you.
“Y/N” your name came out of his mouth almost hesitantly, still you refused to look up at him just yet, pretending most of your attention was still captured by the document before you.
“Jedi Skywalker”
You heard a small sigh escape him, a hollow chuckle filling the air “back to titles huh”
“what can I do for you jedi?” you asked, interlacing your fingers and setting them before you, pushing your posture straighter as you looked up at him in front of your desk, not letting a single emotion betray you with your expression.
Another sigh and he held up a piece of paper before you “we’ve received our first official death threat against you” and though you knew it had to be coming a part of you expected to be more shook by the news, expected to be more scared, all you felt at this point, however, was tired. Tired of being on Coruscant, tired of your job, tired of dealing with every consequence that came from these threats.
“Ok” You could see Anakin’s expression melt a little at your simple reply, could see the pity and guilt plain on his face, you wanted neither “anything else?”
Anakin nodded slowly, placing the piece of paper on your desk, taking care to step back from you after he had done so “because of it we’re more or less going into lockdown, the only people permitted access to this room are the one’s on this list provided by your security team”
You scoffed slightly as your eyes scanned the list, noticing immediately that one name was missing “Jace isn’t on here”
Anakin’s tone dropped slightly, his hand going into a fist at his side as he repeated “the only people permitted access to this room are the one’s on this list”
You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping as you threw the paper down onto your desk “you want me confined to my room fine, restrict who I have access to fine, one of those people will, however, be Jace, not only because he is my friend and I trust him but because he is instrumental to getting the work I need done”
And you could see him clench his jaw from across your desk, an angry hand running through his hair before he crossed his arms over his chest, eyes breaking from yours down to the paper before he sighed “fine”
And that put you off guard, if there was one thing you had learned about Anakin throughout your limited interaction it was that the man didn’t back down easily. Giving him a small nod you all but whispered a thank you, casting your eyes back down to your document, a silent dismissal.
The paper was wordlessly picked up from your desk before he started to leave, a new voice filling the silence left in his wake.
“Y/N I just heard-“ Jace’s voice was cut off suddenly, your eyes coming up from the document to see him in the doorway, held in place with a simple hand on his chest by Anakin, the jedi’s other hand resting on the hilt of his lightsaber as he glared down the man.
“he’s fine” you called out simply, eyes casting back down to the document without a second thought.
But you didn’t hear any change, Jace hadn’t started talking again, there had been no footsteps as he entered the room. Looking back up you saw the two men in the exact same position, glaring daggers into one another, each daring the other to make the first move.
“Jedi Skywalker he’s okay to come in” you instructed Anakin again, watching as the grip on his saber only tightened if anything.
“Anakin”
His gaze snapped to yours at the sound of his name, his expression softening ever so slightly as it did, his grip dropping from the saber.
“he’s okay”
And reluctantly he nodded, hand dropping from Jace’s chest as he righted himself, before his gaze snaped back to Jace, his next words coming out almost as a threat as he spoke them more to your friend than you “I’ll be just outside the door”
-
You’d be lying if you said you had forgotten about the other night, in fact you had done just about everything you could to do so, but despite your best efforts his insinuation still rang loudly in your head, his angry gaze as he spit the words at you still living in your minds eye, the fury that sparked in your chest then had yet to dwindle with time.
You tried to tell yourself that it didn’t really matter, so what if you were seeing Jace like that you were both single there would be no harm done. But another part of you hated the idea of Anakin thinking that, the same stupid, selfish, naive part of you that clung onto his every word and laugh that night.
But you had a job to do, a job that had pulled you halfway across a galaxy away from home to try and convince a small group of relevant senators that your position was correct and morally righteous which would be no small feat. That was exactly why you couldn’t have your attention pulled away from the matter at hand by some guy, least of all some guy as emotionally stunted as Anakin Skywalker.
“Y/N” you ignored the small plea from that very man, pointedly keeping your gaze on your notes as you paced back and forth from behind the stage.
Anakin sighed softly, an anxious hand running through his hair before he tried again “Y/N please I’m sorry I didn’t-“
“No” you cut him off simply, refusing to give him your attention, your anger, your anything. You had a job to do and he was being an active hinderance to that and you were not going to treat him as anything but that “I don’t want to hear it right now”
He nodded softly at that, gaze casting down to his shoes “yeah we can talk after your speech”
You scoffed at that, shaking your head before countering under your breath “or you can go back to ignoring me, I much preferred that”
Anakin furrowed his brow at that, taking a step closer to you “what do you-“
“Senator” one of your aides interrupted you with a smile, nodding her head towards the shut curtain before you “they’re ready for you”
“Thank you” you smiled back at her, squaring your shoulders and facing the curtain separating you from the stage, pointedly ignoring Anakin’s intense stare down at you.
Another soft sigh before he whispered “I’ll be off to the right side in case anything happens” and he was reaching for the curtain before you could respond, most likely knowing that you wouldn’t, holding it open for you to duck under slightly and be met by the bright lights and polite applause you were used to.
You smiled widely at the crowd as you walked up to the podium, setting your stack of notes on top of it and waving, giving them a practiced small nod and a polite “thank you senators”
Slowly the applause dwindled and you were faced with a silent room, milking the sound for just a moment before beginning “I want to thank you all for making time in your busy schedules-“ and you launched into the usual political fluff that began most speeches, stroking the senators egos before you got into the real meat of the issue.
You didn’t make it far, however, before you felt a sudden tug at your elbow, the force strong enough that you were pulled back from the microphone a few steps, a confused murmur making its way through the crowd before you.
Spinning around you followed the hand upon your elbow up to the jedi who owned it, only to see that he wasn’t staring down at you but rather up at the point where the walls met the ceiling, his eyes searching for something that was surely drowned out by the stage lights.
“What’s going on?” you asked him pulling your arm back into you, Anakin’s fingers not putting up a fight against it as he kept his gaze up, searching.
“we need to go” the words were spoken softly and with little weight only confusing you further.
“Anakin what-“ he cut you off before you could even get the question out, crashing his body into yours as he tackled you to the floor, arms wrapping around you to break your fall as he ducked the two of behind your podium. And you were ready to ask him again what was happening when you noticed it, a new burn mark on the wall just behind where your head had been moments ago.
It was only then that you realized the world had fallen silent on your ears, your mind tuning out the panicked yells and scraping of chairs as the people you had just been addressing scrambled for the exit.
Then there was a blaster sound.
The podium before you shook as it took the brunt of the shot, the furniture groaning telling you it wasn’t going to be able to take much more.
With wide eyes your gaze finally connected with Anakin’s to find his already on you, your name on his lips though you don’t remember hearing it.
“What?” You asked much too softly for the sound level in the room, a small look of relief still edging into Anakin’s eyes as he looked at you.
“There’s a door behind you to your left, I’ll cover you you make a break for it on the count of three” he instructed loudly but still calmly, the small panic in his eyes doing a fantastic job of never making its way to his voice. You nodded quickly at him, eyes darting over your shoulder to take a quick look at the door. His hand came up and squeezed your shoulder softly, pulling your gaze back to his “stay low okay. 1..2..3 go”
There wasn’t a moments hesitation before you broke for the door, no drop of doubt in Anakin’s promise to cover you before you left the safe haven of the podium, throwing yourself at the door to force it open and pushing it back closed behind Anakin the second he was through.
He never let up, however, not wasting any time before he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you off the door and down the hallway, you never fully being able to escape the panicked screams from that room.
“The others in there” you protested weakly, letting Anakin pull you further and further away from the room.
“Not important right now” he answered harshly, taking seemingly random turns down a labyrinth of hallways.
And your mind was spinning too much to protest any further, still struggling to bridge the gaps of the last few minutes and comprehend what had happened “did you see them?”
“No” Anakin grumbled “but I think the shot came from the vent system”
“So they could be anywhere by now”
Anakin didn’t respond to that, dragging you a few more feet forward before coming to an abrupt halt before a door you didn’t recognize, eyes checking both ways down the hall before throwing it open and ushering you inside, shutting the door behind the two of you.
It was jarring how silent it was within the room, the way the entire world seemed to suddenly stop spinning, finally giving you the chance to catch your breath, your mind reeling in such a way that made you wonder if you even really wanted the silence.
“Okay” Anakin spoke up, hand coming back to your shoulder, thumb hooked softly under your chin to physically pull your gaze to his as he hunched over slightly “you stay in here I’ll go-“
“What-“ the question came out before he could even finish his statement, your head shaking rapidly as you took a step back from him “you’re leaving me in here?”
“Just for a bit I need to track down-“
“No I can’t-” you interrupted him again, the same panic as before surging within you as you shook your head again, an anxious hand bunching up in your hair as you started to shift your weight from foot to foot “you can’t just- you can’t leave me here alone”
“Hey hey” and you could see his attempt to calm you down as he reached out, could see the fight behind his eyes between staying with you and finding the guy who shot at you, his hands resting on both of your shoulders halting your nervous movement “you’ll be safe in here but I need to track down-“
“Please” you interrupted him again, your single world making his argument die on his lips, his expression freezing slightly at the sound of it “Please Ani don’t leave me”
And you watched his chest deflate, a small nod before he answered “okay”
Before you could think better of it you surged forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his chest. Again there was a moment of hesitation, a brief hiccup before his arms wrapped around you in response, and you heard him mumble against your hair “I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay”
And at that words you let a shaky breath out, feeling the weight on your chest decrease slightly at the promise, nodding softly against him before slowly letting go, untangling your arms from him “Thank you”
His eyes bounced back and forth between your own for a second before he nodded softly, taring his gaze from you as he stood up straighter, taking a good look around the room “We’ll just wait here for a bit, the rest of the order is going to be working on tracking the shooter down”
You nodded back at him again, taking a few steps aside to rest against the wall, finally fully feeling yourself relax as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you.
“I really am sorry for what I said the other night” the sudden voice breaking the silence caught you by surprise, your brows furrowing as you looked up at him “I was angry and I took it out unfairly on you and for that I’m sorry”
“Is now really the time to be doing this?” you asked with an edge of frustration to your voice, trying to hide it behind a soft laugh.
“You’ve been refusing to talk to me, now’s the first time I’ve really had your attention” he shrugged as if it were the obvious conclusion.
“yeah well try dealing with that for about three years then you’re allowed to complain about feeling ignored to me” you grumbled crossing your arms over your chest, unsure if you had really wanted him to hear those words or not.
His brows furrowed as he looked down at you, genuine curiosity on his voice as he asked “what does that mean?”
And a part of you wanted to scoff, as if he hadn’t noticed how he’d treated you for the entirety of knowing him “This trip is the most I’ve ever talked to you” you huffed, pointedly avoiding eye contact with him “When I first met you you were nice and talkative and normal, and all of a sudden the next time I’m around you’re nothing but cold and distant, could get barely more than two words out of you at a time. Made me wonder what I had done wrong”
You heard his deep sigh at your words, eyes glancing up at his form to see his gaze planted on his shoes, a soft reply coming in a voice you almost couldn’t hear “you didn’t do anything wrong”
Another silence passed between the two of you before you broke it, unsure exactly why you felt the need to justify yourself to him “I get nightmares sometimes, nothing too bad but sometimes it’s like I forget where I am and I can’t breathe and I just need someone there to anchor me, to remind me that I’m okay. Jace has been that person for me a lot so when I woke up I sought him out, I really didn’t think about how I was sneaking out behind your back”
Another sigh came from across the room before you heard a back sliding against the wall, eyes casting up to see Anakin had moved to sitting on the ground, back resting against the wall, eyes planted somewhere across the room before he laughed almost hollowly “I’m an idiot aren’t I”
And you couldn’t help but chuckle at that, moving to sit down next to him, careful to keep a good amount of distance between the two of you as you did so “I mean I certainly won’t argue with you on that point”
And this time his chuckle was realer, a warm sound you felt yourself despite everything drawn into “you know you could’ve come to me”
“If the roles were reversed” you asked him with a soft, sad smile “would you have come to me?”
And he sighed at that, gaze breaking to study your face for a moment, before he shook his head “no I suppose I wouldn’t have”
Another silence fell between the two of you, this one considerably less uncomfortable than the ones before, and for a brief moment you wondered where exactly this left you and Anakin, certainly closer than before but friends? Is that what you wanted? Is just that what you could be okay with?
“The jedi have a code” Anakin’s voice pulled your attention smoothly back to him, finding him a few inches closer than before, you weren’t sure who it was that had shifted “we can’t form attachments”
And you found yourself focusing on how hard the words seemed to be for him to say, how he was practically pulling them out of himself, you eagerly latching onto each one, nodding softly.
“So when I met you and you were incredibly nice and funny and easy to talk to…” he let the end of his sentence hang in the air, let the implication remain unsaid “Obi-wan noticed it before I did, was over my shoulder reminding me of the code right away and I figured if I remained distant then I wouldn’t be tempted to break it”
You felt the air leave your chest realizing that hearing it form Jace was one thing but from Anakin himself was completely different, the last few years spent around him clicking into place in your mind and you felt the need to reach out to him, if not to just hold his hand in yours. “Then why are you my guard every time I need one on Coruscant” you asked instead, forcing the distance back, giving Anakin what he wanted, what he said he wanted “Wouldn’t it have been better to avoid me entirely?”
A bitter laugh came forth at that, Anakin throwing his head back against the wall as he stared up at the ceiling “yeah, yeah it would have.” He paused briefly, a small smile pulling up at the edges of his lips “do you know how excited I get every time I hear you’re going to be on Coruscant? I tell myself every time that I just want to make sure you’re safe, that I want to be able to see for myself that no harm comes to you, but I know they’re all just excuses. Because even if it’s in complete silence I relish every moment spent in your presence”
And a huge part of you felt relief at his words. Relief that your feelings were reciprocated, relief that he didn’t actually hate you as you suspected, relief that it was all finally out in the open. But still there was a new weight on your chest, the burden of the jedi code no longer resting on Anakin’s shoulder’s alone, a burden that as not a jedi it felt unfair for you to carry.
“Where does that leave us now?” you asked quietly, eyes bouncing back and forth between his hopefully.
“The jedi order have their faults” he started after a bit, gaze skipping around the room, everywhere but meeting yours “there’s a few things I just don’t agree with them on and one of them is that having attachments makes me a worse jedi, I’m starting to wonder if remaining at a distance from you is really worth it, after this past week I’m not sure I can do it anymore”
“what if I don’t want you to remain at a distance?” you asked softly, watching almost with amusement as Anakin’s gaze rushed to meet your own, his eyes searching yours with hope for sincerity.
Finally his lips turned up at your words, he gaze flicking down to your lips for a moment, inching himself closer still till your shoulder grazed his “Darling if that’s the case then I shall live to make you regret asking me to stay close”
#anakin x reader#Anakin Skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin imagine#anakin fic#anakin x you#anakin x y/n#anakin skywalker fic#anakin skywalker x you#star wars fanfiction#star wars imagine#star wars x you#star wars x reader
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Why do you even ship tomarry? Like it honestly seems from most of your posts that you don’t have a very favorable view of Harry or Tom’s feelings/treatment of him, so what do you even like about it? Genuinely confused why you aren’t maining bellamort when nearly every post I’ve seen from you has put Harry down in some way and found a way to bring Bella or one of the other Blacks up.
ok, this is a very good question and i understand where you are coming from. i really do. this is what it seems like if you take a quick glance of my blog and you're right, i have thought about this myself too.
but the truth of the matter is, i like bellamort, but i dont love that ship, whereas i love tomarrymort if it is done right.
tomarrymort is a very difficult ship to bring together in a Realistic way, Because of all the problems i have pointed out. bellatrix happens to be one of my favourite characters and i hate the way she is treated as an unfavorable side character who has to compete with harry for voldemort's affections but loses because harry is v's pwecious liddol horcrux.
to me, that just ruins my whole mood for reading the fic because i believe that bella doesn't have to compete at all, not when she is objectively already so much better than harry in Voldemort's eyes. He favours those who are cruel, cunning and devoted to the cause. None of which harry is or possesses.
a truly good harrymort fic would have overcome this issue, not just make voldemort like how much harry hates him and learn to live with it, because who tf would like that??? Oh hey! Look at me! My partner hates me because i murdered his family and am advocating for the destruction of all the people like him! Isn't he fucking beautiful with his murderous eyes! Haha!
like.. not it.
and harry can't just suddenly turn all pureblood supremist and be like, omg, i should be v's favourite because i overcame my views from the past and.. and Bellatrix sucks because she killed sirius!!!!!
and voldemort would not like to be antagonised everytime he's trying to live. i hate to break it to you, but harry can't stop him from murdering people, but bellatrix would stand next to him, also torturing people, so obviously, bellamort is the easier ship.
but that doesn't necessarily mean i like it more.
i am a huge fan of enemies to lovers and if done right, can be peak.
and i am not a fan of the trope where voldemort urges harry to hurt him because voldenort killed his parents and welcomes harry's rage. it's so fucking stupid, like, please slap me because i killed your parents and facilitated in the murder of your godfather who was wrongly imprisoned for 13 years because of me, and you are sooo mad at me for it. just, no.
he is not the type of person to beg. at all. voldemort is a taker, he takes advantage and he exploits. he does this to bella, too. why did she end up in jail? because she was serving him! does it seem like he apologised to bella for it? No! So why should harry be any different?? Especially harry, because it was due to harry that he lost the war in the first place!
so, voldemort himself would harbour a LOT of resentment towards harry, not just the other way around, and im telling you, it won’t be easy to get over this hatred, and i think that should be explored more. Not just voldemort Suddenly being interested in harry because harry is the only one brave enough to outwardly hate him (which is literally such a stupid, shallow reason for voldemort to take any notice of him at all.)
It looks like neither harry nor v is willing to compromise and this is the challenge they have to overcome in order to get together.
voldemort is a character who does not bend to anyone's wills and having him bend to harry's will is a discredit to his character. at its core, tomarrymort will always be a toxic ship because of their fundamental different world views and i like it when it is kept that way, and with Voldemort being horribly overbearing. harry cannot keep him in check, he's just a kid compared to Voldemort's age.
tom is also someone who believes anything can be solved with murder and if harry refuses him, and he doesn't like harry vey much, it will end in bloodshed and that is what i like about this horrifying pairing in the first place. the fact that v would not hesitate to kill unless it is one of his closest followers. This is a challenge that has to be overcome too.
im also sick and tired of harry always being given the preferential treatment in fics just because he's witty and sassy or whatever, like this isn't canon. he's just some guy, not tom riddle who was a prodigy since eleven, not bellatrix who even harry described as being powerful.
and don't you think it's stale that the fact that harry is a horcrux is always always some kind of basis to them getting together??? it's just sooo... overused and the fic community is saturated with the same tropes over and over again.
and tom and harry are not murder husbands. Just.. no. It's either butchering tom's character or harry's character. And im telling you frankly, if you want murder husbands, that is literally voldemort x genderbent bellatrix.
And i know that harry is most peoples favourite character, so voldemort is not given enough justice in their writing. His character is always butchered when harry outsmarts him or something and im sick and tired of it. Like, yeah voldemort is not a good person, but if you hate him so much, why are you shipping harrymort? Literally leave.
Overall, it is not the ship i hate, i just really hate some of the overused tropes and think they can be done better. me putting it this way can seem like i don’t like harry, which is not true. it’s just that i hate this fandom’s glorification of him and how they think that voldemort always owes him something for being a terrible person, which i think is really ooc.
my inclusion of bella and the blacks into their dynamics has thus nothing to do with my dislike for harry, but more so on the fact that the complete disregard this fandom has for bellatrix angers me.
Important disclaimer!!!:
I am in no way bashing anyone or any trope. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and writing. I hope you understand that this is simply my perspective and if i have hurt any of your feelings, i apologise. Please keep writing whatever you wish to write. Everyone's writing is truly a gift to this community and keep writing what makes you happy.
#anon.ask#bellamort#voldemort#lord voldemort#harry potter#tomarry#harrymort#tomarrymort#bellatrix lestrange#bellatrix black
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Safe in my Arms (Ascendancy!Thrawn x Reader)
Pairing: Ascendancy!Thrawn x Female Chiss Reader
Summary: Csaplar, the capital city of Csilla, has been attacked by alien warships. You are a Syndic of the Mith family, forced to seek shelter from the attack along with the rest of the Syndicure. Thrawn, senior captain of the Chiss Expansionary Defence Fleet, is able to easily defeat the enemy targets, but finds himself struggling with something new: the sudden feelings of concern and panic at the thought of you in danger. These feelings are a first for Thrawn, always so confident in battle, seldom so confident when it comes to his feelings for his lover. When you two are reunited, Thrawn is forced to confront his feelings head on. His relief at seeing you alive and well quickly turns into something almost animalistic, and passion ensues, followed by the dawn of a crucial revelation.
Warnings: Sliiiight angst, but I promise it all works out. SMUT!!! Oral (female receiving), P in V, feral Thrawn is it’s own warning, fucking on a countertop (will I ever let him fuck in the comfort of a bed??? Only time will tell). And watch out because this ending is FLUFF CITY. Like Goddamn call this bitch cotton candy the way it makes me so wet and then absolutely MELTS me. (too much?? Yeah, probably).
A/N: So the original idea for this came from my head canon’s with my Chiss Syndic OC, Theta, which can be found here. I did originally post this as a Thrawn x Theta, but I know how beloved a solid Thrawn x Reader fic is, so here’s the compromise. Sigh,this fic is so self indulgent it should be a crime. But I hope you enjoy it!
This fic is spicyyyyy so 18+ only, minors do not interact.
_______________________
The aroma of fresh caccoleaf was the only thing getting you through this never ending meeting. You gingerly took a sip, cherishing the slightly sweet flavor as you forced yourself to focus on the argument at hand. The Syndicure was in full session, meaning your days had been consumed by meetings just like this, speakers for various families vying for exchanges and favors to bolster their own needs above others.
“What we are proposing would completely revitalize this meager farm area and turn it into a beacon of prosperity, attracting people from all around the Ascendancy, which could boost the local economy and present other long-lasting positive impacts. If you’ll look at the document that has been shared with each of your questises–”
The Ufsa speaker hadn’t even finished his obviously well-rehearsed speech before a representative from the Chaf family made her own grievances known. “That land rightfully belongs to the Chaf family,” she butted in emphatically. “You’ll have to pry that land straight from our hands.”
It took all your years of experience to contain your eye roll. You were proud of your position, honored by your duty to both your family and the Ascendancy, and, yes, you lived to serve your people in any way possible. But you also had a tendency to get frustrated at how selfish and self-serving members of the Aristocra could be. Your whole mission as one of the few female members of the Syndicure was to inspire unity amongst the families and encourage compromise and support over supporting self-serving needs. Though, with so many of the Aristocra being dead set in their old-fashioned ways, you more often than not felt like you were fighting an uphill battle.
You took a deep breath to steady yourself, preparing to interrupt the argument which was clearly not making any headway, when a resounding alarm began to blare throughout the meeting room. The room was silent for a single heartbeat, before the Syndicure erupted into noise and chaos, each person trying to speak over the other to figure out what was going on. A voice projected over the loudspeaker.
“This is an emergency. Please remain calm and make your way to the shelters beneath the Cupola. I repeat, this is an emergency. Please remain calm and make your way to the shelters beneath the Cupola ”
The announcement hadn’t even finished before people were scrambling towards the doors and filing down the hallway towards the emergency exits that would take them to the shelters. You stood from your seat, making sure to grab the questis from the table before turning to navigate the throngs of people. A quick scan of the room told you that a majority of the Aristocra were well and able to take care of themselves. However, your eyes landed on a lone straggler, an elder from the Irizi family, struggling to make haste towards the exit, having long been forgotten by members of his own family in their own rush towards safety. Without hesitation, you crossed the short distance between you and loop your arm in his, wordlessly offering him your support. A look of surprise flitted across the man’s face, but was quickly replaced by a nod of respect and gratitude before leaning on your for support as you both made your way to the exit. This image, two rival families coming together to support each other in a time of crisis, this was what being a member of the Chiss Ascendancy was about: above family ranks, above political rivalries, above all else, you were all Chiss.
Joining the rest of the speakers, syndics, and various members of the aristocra in the shelters, you found an empty seat, getting a moment to collect your bearings for the first time. You spare a look down at your questis as a barrage of notifications lit up the screen. You could hardly process the words, having to reread the same sentence multiple times.
Csaplar, capital of Csilla, is under attack by alien ships. Seek shelter immediately.
You couldn’t remember the last time someone had dared attack the Ascendancy. It certainly hadn’t been in your lifetime, and from the looks of the faces around the shelter, you decided it most certainly hadn’t taken place in the lifetimes of even the eldest members of the Syndicure. You furiously refreshed your notifications, hoping for another update, but there was none to be found. With a worried sigh, you crossed one leg over the other in an attempt to get comfortable. “Stars only know how long we’ll be stuck down here,” you thought to yourself.
“Alien warships,” a nearby Syndic scoffed. “And they have the audacity to attack us?” His voice increased in pitch to emphasize his incredulity.
“I’m sure the expansionary defense fleet has already lasered them to stardust by now,” another Syndic reassured.
The words settled like a lead weight in your stomach. Thrawn. The adrenaline, which had just begun to wear off, peaked again and you worked to control your breathing. He was supposed to be coming back from his mission today. You had just spoken over holovid the night before once Thrawn had retired to his quarters, and you had been looking forward to having him planetside with you. Now, with this latest attack, if he was in the middle of it…your thoughts trailed off into the unknown. You knew it wouldn’t do any good to panic now, but the thought of Thrawn being up there, facing off against three enemy warships was enough to get your heart racing all the same.
_______________________
Thrawn stood on the bridge, staring out the viewport at the sight before him. The alien warships were gone, blasted into rubble too small to even make a dent through the atmosphere. Always the calculated and stoic Senior Captain, Thrawn had kept a level head throughout the unexpected ordeal. The Springhawk was returning home from its mission, coming out of hyperspace just outside Csilla’s gravity well, when the foreign ships began firing on the planet’s capital city. It took less than a minute for the Chiss ships to return fire, and within fifteen minutes the battle was over. Thrawn stood motionless, staring into the empty space where the ships once stood, a sudden anxiety settling into his bones. His chest felt tight and your name fell off his lips in a silent plea. He knew you were there, in the capital. He knew the aliens had to be targeting the capital city–it was the most logical conclusion. Unfortunately, it was also the conclusion that sent an unfamiliar wave of panic through Thrawn. He forced himself to take exactly one deep breath, steeling himself, and forcing his feet to take him back to the Captain’s chair. “Continue course to Csaplar,” Thrawn announced, thankful to hear that his voice didn’t betray an ounce of the worry that plagued him. “The likeliest conclusion is that you are fine,” he thought to himself in an attempt to regain his internal control. You have to be fine.
_______________________
The defense force had you waiting two hours in the shelters, to be sure that no further threats arose. Two hours you spent sick with worry about what was going on in the skies above. You fully believed that Thrawn was the most intelligent man you’d ever met, and the Ascendancy as a whole was far safer for his role in the expansionary defense fleet. But that didn’t mean you never worried about him every time you knew he was going into a dangerous situation. More than anything, it was the not knowing that was tearing you up the most. You tried to distract yourself with your colleagues, who, in typical syndicure fashion, all seemed to be trying to one-up each other in outrage, as if they were personally defending the ascendancy’s honor. If there was one thing that could bring together the Aristocra, it was a common enemy.
Shortly past the second hour mark, you got the all-clear to evacuate the shelter. There would be a briefing with General Ba’kif in one of the meeting halls, and it was clear the Syndicure would be out for blood, demanding answers that may not even be available yet. As the sea of individuals rushed to assault the general with their questions, you strode right past the door of the meeting room, instead heading straight for your office. You had just shut the door behind you when you realized you weren't alone.
Thrawn stood in the middle of your office, and the familiar sight of him in the black uniform was nearly enough to bring tears of relief to your eyes.
At the first sight of you, relief flooded Thrawn’s body and for the first time in over two hours, he felt as though he could breathe again. It took all of two strides for Thrawn to close the distance between you, his strong arms taking you into his grip, pulling you to his chest. You gripped him just as hard, breathing in the familiar scent.
You stood like that, embracing each other for several heartbeats. “I’m relieved to see you unharmed,” Thrawn’s soft voice broke the silence. You tilted your head back, looking into the eyes of your beloved. “Thrawn,” you started, but your voice broke, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. You forced a deep breath before continuing. “What happened?” With a final press of his lips against the top of your head, Thrawn stepped back and motioned for you to take a seat as he began to recount everything they had found out over the last few hours.
_______________________
That night, You rinsed off the last of the dinnerware, passing the dripping plate to Thrawn, who methodically dried it off and set it amongst its freshly clean counterparts. The dinner had been a simple affair, but you cherished these nights the most. They were too few and far between. Though, you supposed you were somewhat in luck–the estimated repairs for the Springhawk were to take between four and six weeks, and you’d soak up every ounce of time together you could get.
Thrawn had been unusually quiet tonight though, and you watched as he gripped the edge of the countertop, clearly lost in thought. Thrawn’s focus shifted as a pair of soft arms wound their way around his midsection. “Tell me what’s bothering you, love,” your voice was barely above a whisper. Up on your toes, you pressed a kiss to Thrawn’s neck, “And don’t bother denying it. You know I can read you as easily as a data cylinder,” you quipped, trying to ease the tension.
With a small sigh, Thrawn turned to face you. His lean body propped up against the countertop, arms crossed at his chest, and though he was looking at you, you could feel that his gaze was far away.
“There was a moment today, after the attack,” Thrawn started, then paused, thinking over his words. “I had a feeling I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.” You waited patiently through another extended pause, giving Thrawn what you hoped was an encouraging nod.
“As soon as the battle was over, I was hit by this strange sense of terror. There was this sudden, overwhelming dread, and I was convinced something had happened to you.” Thrawn paused, his throat working. “I don’t know what I would have done. What I’d do if–” Your features instantly softened, and you interrupted the thought, stepping up on your tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to Thrawn’s lips.
“It’s okay,” you whispered, pulling away momentarily. “I’m fine.” You pressed another kiss to his lips. “I’m okay,” you reassured, murmuring against his lips, and it was as if upon hearing those words, feeling your soft lips against his, something within Thrawn broke. His hands were off the counter, gripping your waist, pulling you closer to him as his lips crashed against yours, gripping you in a fierce kiss. You hardly had a second to react before Thrawn picked you up, twisting your positions so he could place you on the countertop, not even breaking the kiss. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, though you certainly weren’t about to stop him. Thrawn’s grip on your hips tightened as he deepened the kiss, pulling you to the edge of the counter. Suddenly, you understood where Thrawn was coming from. The relief at having him here, the knowledge that you were both safe, both together, it was enough to have you mirroring his intensity.
Your hands were desperate, clumsily trying to undo Thrawn’s uniform. Stars damn all the regulation zips that made these things so damn hard to remove. Eventually, Thrawn took pity on you, stepping back to remove the rest of the jacket, discarding his undershirt as well, letting both fall to the floor. You had only a moment to appreciate the toned, muscular skin, biting your bottom lip as you took in the view, and then Thrawn’s lips were back on yours and your fingers went straight to tangle themselves in his hair.
“I need to—“ Thrawn gasps out between kisses. “I need to taste you.”
You nodded your head fervently and spread your legs, leaning back on your hands as Thrawn pressed sweet kisses along your neck and down your still-clothed chest. Pushing up your skirt, you lifted yourself just enough for him to slide your damp panties down your leg. Thrawn let out an audible groan. “I do believe you’ll be the end of me,” he growled in a low voice, before falling to his knees.
The sight of Thrawn on his knees before you was almost enough to push you over the edge. Thrawn slid your legs open, resting them on his shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your core. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine, but before you could even beg for more, he dove right in.
He ate like a man who had been starved for days, unable to get enough. A single finger joined his tongue, and left you squirming on his counter. Your hips thrust up into his face, a second digit joining in, stretching you. He curled his fingers, hitting that spongy spot deep inside you, and stars danced behind your eyelids. “Thrawn!” you exclaimed, panting. His fingers moved faster, harder, expertly dragging your orgasm from you. “Thrawn, I’m going to—“ before you could even finish that sentence, your orgasm ripped through your body. Your back arched, cunt tightening around his fingers. His tongue lapped up your juices, which only prolonged the orgasm. Gasping for air, you slowly came down from her high, coming to just in time to spot Thrawn trailing soft kisses along the inside of your thighs, working his way back up to kiss your face. Thrawn pressed himself up against your soaking core, and you could feel how much he enjoyed that experience as his rock-hard member pressed against your sensitive mound, eliciting another moan from you, his name dancing on your lips. “Thrawn.”
“I need to feel you,” he moaned against his kiss. “I need to be inside you.” His kiss was frenzied, his need was unmistakable. You had never seen the man so undone, and you could hardly believe it was on your behalf. It felt like a dream. All you could manage was a breathy “yes,” in response, but it was all the approval Thrawn needed.
Without missing a beat, Thrawn’s hands were on his belt, quickly undoing it, his pants falling to the floor soon after. You let out a sigh as he freed his cock and gave his member a rough couple pumps. Your mouth watered at the sight of it–thick and long, and deliciously veined, as if it was designed purely for your pleasure. You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together, desperate for some kind of friction as you took in the sight before you:
Thrawn, his typically meticulous hair now a disheveled mess, his impressive member in hand, and a look of absolute feral need in his eyes.
Thrawn held the tip of his cock, teasing your opening. Even when he was overcome with need, he still took the time to savor this moment. In a moment of impatient desperation, you thrust your hips up off the counter, which Thrawn rewarded with a swift thrust of his hips, his cock finally filling you to the brim. He paused for a moment, letting you adjust. A breathless moan of approval from you is all it took for him to lose himself.
His thrusts were hard and his pace was quick. He needed this. He needed to feel you beneath his fingers, to know that you were safe in his arms. You threw your head back, the pleasure radiating through your body. In and out, in and out. Thrawn’s breathing was labored, letting out breathy moans. His pace quickened, and he could tell you were nearing another orgasm. Your cunt tightened around his cock as you neared her edge, and Thrawn let out a gasp and another moan, your name on his lips. It was enough to send you over the edge once again, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him closer into you. Feeling your pussy pulse around his cock was just enough to cause Thrawn to lose any remaining composure. “Fuck,” Thrawn grunted, grabbing your hips tight enough to bruise, thrusting his hips even harder. With a final groan, Thrawn’s hips faltered and his cock twitched as he emptied himself inside you.
Thrawn pressed his forehead to yours as you both struggled to catch your breath. He loosened his fingers from their iron grip on your hips, and he was surprised at the slight shake that unsteadied his hand. “That’s new,” Thrawn remarked to himself, still perplexed at how thoroughly you had undone him. He was enamored with you. His hands absentmindedly trailed along your side as he pressed tender kisses along your neck and jaw, still soaking in your scent. He paused when he reached the apex of your neck and he relished the feel of your pulse beneath his lips, further proof that you were alive and well.
“I love you.” The words tumbled from Thrawn’s mouth, his deep voice barely above a whisper. You froze beneath his touch. Even Thrawn seemed momentarily taken aback by the words which he hadn’t even meant to say out loud. But with every moment that passed, Thrawn realized how true they were. He was in love with you. And, if he was being honest with himself, he had been for quite some time. “I love you,” you whispered back, the softest smile on your face. Thrawn couldn’t help his smile as your lips met again, but this kiss was different: full of passion, yes, but something softer. Love.
“Damn,” you breathed out, breaking the kiss after several moments. “Maybe warships should attack the ascendancy more often,” you said with a playful smile on your lips.
Thrawn bit back a growl and, with a scowl, took you into his arms, lifting you off the countertop. “Don’t even joke about that,” he said in a low voice, immediately followed by a soft press of his lips to your temple. Thrawn started towards your bedroom, wondering what exactly he was getting himself into, but knowing that he was in too deep to turn back now.
#thrawn x reader#thrawn#grand admiral thrawn#thrawn ascendancy#mith’thraw’nurodo#thrawn hc#thawn x you
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Wenclair
Y’all, I have read…SOO much Wenclair fanfiction lol. I’ve read like at least 30-31% of all the fic, last I calculated ;_;. I don’t remember being THIS obsessed with a ship for a while but I kinda get why lol.
I first heard about the show on Twitter like 6 days after it came out. I wasn’t gonna watch it, but then I saw posts about it and I was like “OMG THEYRE SOO FUCKING CUTE LOOL.” And I kinda get why?
I’ve never really been into enemies-to-lovers but I TOTALLY GET IT NOW LOOL. It’s the eventual understanding of one another, the breaking down of barriers to really understand one another, and I think that’s SOO fucking sweet lol. And I’ve never really been into the goth-sunshine thing either, but I GET IT. I get why opposites attract and it’s adorable to see them overcome it.
But I think why I love Wenclair SOO MUCH is because of how ADORABLE they are. I think it’s SOO fucking adorable how one is a goth, and the other is a sunshine and they have to work together. I think it’s SOO adorable that they HAVE to compromise and really find out what they love about each other. I think it’s SOO adorable that they grow to love each other, that the girl who was literally born to love, but fucking hates it, is with a girl who LOVES SOO MUCH, but DESPERATELY needs some of her own and doesn’t have it. It’s a story of a girl who was born to love, but hates it, and a girl who loves to love, but doesn’t have it. They both provide what the other needs- love and understanding.
And I LOVEE that they have to make it work. I haven’t read many ships where they HAVE to make it work- where they’re almost complete opposites where it’s almost impossible for them to get song. But they DO. They DO get along. They have to make it work, but they DO. And it’s SOO ADORABLE when they do lol.
I LOVE that they create something new out of their friendship- a relationship where Wednesday is softer and Enid is more understanding. It’s achingly adorable how they have to change SOO much to adapt to the other, but it’s SOO cute because they WANT to make that change.
Wednesday wants to understand Enid, so she becomes kinder, softer. She tries to understand her through all the ins-and-outs, all the color, the music. And Enid wants to accept Wednesday. She has to look past all the darkness and gore and find the hidden, sweet soft center inside.
And it’s ADORABLE because they try SOO hard. They try SOO FUCKING HARD to really find the things they adore about the other, and maybe it’s hard at first, but it becomes easier after time. It’s ADORABLE to see them trying SOO fucking hard and making SOO much effort to love one another, and it’s worth it :’)
Also the confession scenes AHH!! THEYRE SOO FUCKING ADORABLE LOOL AHH!! THEYRE SOO FUCKING CUTE!!! I’ve read SOOO many fics in which Wednesday confesses and it’s SOO FUCKING CUTE LOOL!! She says the most, all these flowery poetic beautiful things and I can’t imagine anyone else but her saying them. Like I can’t IMAGINE ANY OTHER SHIP I READ to say something so flowery and dramatic and poetic.
Wednesday Addams is such a SPECIFIC character to write for. You have to get her EXACT tone to write down- you have to write her as morbid, as serious, cold, cutting, sarcastic, and there’s a very specific way she acts and it’s honestly really hard. If you veer off course, I feel like it’s really easy to make her OOC lol. And that’s why the confession scenes hit so hard!! Because she’s this way, it only makes sense if SHE’S the only character to confess this way hehe.
So yeah- my thoughts on Wenclair and why I’m so obsessed with them. It’s 2:16 AM LOOL!! 🤣🤣
#wenclair#girl#MY FIRST WENCLAIR ANALYSIS POST!! ;DDDD!! ❤️#I’ve been holding in this one since last year LOOL!! 🤣🤣
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Stay with me
Pairing: Dave York x f!Reader
Word Count: 9.7k
Rating: E (explicit smut, 18+)
Warnings: A/B/O dynamics (Omegaverse), Alpha!Dave, Omega!Reader, mentions of prejudices against Omegas, canon-typical violence, suspense elements, watch me make shit up about a/b/o to suit my needs, heats, rutting, knotting, scent glands, biting, compulsion (the thing with the voice), LOTS of sex, soft!Dave gets his own warning, enemies to lovers, Penny gets VERY vague about whatever the hell the DIA does, the plot is not the point of this fic
Summary: You’re Dave York’s ‘favorite’ analyst at the DIA. You’re also an Omega. When you go into heat during an emergency situation, can the two of you keep your mutual attraction from coming to a head?
A/N: Yeah, I don’t know where this came from. I truly think @leslie-lyman and I share the same braincell; she wrote 12k of Alpha Max and then the week after I was hit with an Alpha Dave idea and here we are. Thank you Les for egging me on, tolerating the constant depraved screenshots. Thanks for @pedropascalx and @honestly-shite, my two ‘Hot for Dave’ besties who ALWAYS encourage Dave filth. Now I promise I’ll go work on my stupid book.
Masterlist
“The intelligence shows–”
“I fucking know what the intelligence shows, I’m looking at it,” Dave barks.
It’s not that Dave York is the type of Alpha to be an asshole, to be brash, inconsiderate, even violent. It’s the job that makes him this way; the years of military training that have muted his empathetic response, for better or for worse, in favor of emotionless calculation. It helps, when making life or death decisions.
Not so much when it comes to social interaction.
The man snaps his mouth shut, and Dave grimaces inwardly. It was probably the wrong thing to say. The head of Intelligence was an Omega; even on suppressants, as nearly everyone is these days, Dave can still sniff it out. It’s considered crass for an Alpha to shout one down–it fucks with their instinct to shrink away from an Alpha’s command, and no Omega wants to appear lesser at work.
Contrary to popular belief, Dave does not take Alpha suppressants. One of the military’s more creative trainings for Alpha special forces was to throw them in a room and pipe in the scent of Omega in heat.
For weeks at a time.
That sort of forced desensitization has left Dave with an unusually strong ability to resist Omega pheromones and a tight leash on his Alpha tendencies. They only really come out in times of high stress, when his tone of voice can come out harsher than intended, or he accidentally uses Compulsion when giving an order instead of just… giving the order. Still, he's hardly the most aggressive Alpha at the DIA, a breeding ground for ex-military types in the first place.
Dave tries again. “Who wrote this report?”
“One of our new analysts, she–”
“I want to talk to her,” Dave says abruptly. “I have questions.”
The Omega nods slowly as he backs out of the office. “Yeah, okay. Sure.”
Dave sinks into his desk chair with a sigh. This report is the last thing he wanted to see cross his desk. No one wants to hear that the call is coming from inside the house, so to speak, and this analysis points to a mole within the DIA, feeding classified information to outside organizations and compromising all of their operations.
A few minutes later, someone knocks on his door, and Dave looks up. “Come in,” he calls out.
The door opens, and Dave is hit with the strongest smell of Omega pheromones he’s smelled in the longest time. He raises his eyes in surprise as a woman enters his office with a stern expression. “You wanted to see me?”
Dave frowns at her for a moment, at a loss. He’s never seen an Omega off suppressants, especially in the office like this. It must be incredibly inconvenient, having everyone gawking, right? He doesn’t understand–is there a medical reason she can’t be on them?
“Sir?” she arches one perfectly-penciled eyebrow at him.
Dave clears his throat. “You wrote this?”
“Yes,” she answers. “Is there a problem with my analysis?”
“You misunderstand,” Dave says. “I agree with the report. I want to know how you know.”
— — — — — —
That had been Dave’s first of what would become many interactions with the woman who is quickly becoming his ‘favorite’ analyst. She’s the only person who doesn’t mince words around him, who’s brutally honest, almost cutting in her assessments, and doesn’t seem to acknowledge or care that Dave is an Alpha.
In turn, Dave makes an effort to treat her the same way as he would any other Alpha around the office. Not that she needs his help–she carries herself with a haughtiness that would put most Alphas to shame. He's seen her face down conference rooms full of them without batting an eye, or purposefully not stepping demurely to the side to let an Alpha pass in the hallway, as many Omegas do out of habit, resulting in a few awkward shoulder-checks that Dave has observed with an amused smile.
Most Alphas around the office don't know what to make of her, and treat her with confusion at best, and outright hostility at worst. Dave–as much as he’s tried to stop himself, or, more accurately, stop his Alpha–is starting to view her as his. The long hours she’s spent in his office going over her intelligence reports have left him feeling possessive, even territorial, over his analyst.
"She's one of those 'Out and Proud' Omegas that think they're so fucking special just because of their designation," Dave overhears in the breakroom one morning, and for the first time in a long time, he has to stop his Alpha from reacting–grabbing the man's shirt and shoving him against the wall with a growl.
“If she’s so proud of being an Omega, why is she so fucking standoffish?” is another scathing comment Dave has heard around the office. “Her designation is Omega. If she’s as proud of it as she claims, strutting around here with all those pheromones on display, she should be more demure.”
Dave doesn’t give a shit whether she’s demure; in fact, he likes that she’s assertive. She’s a challenge, his Alpha purrs. Dave likes a challenge.
“Can I ask a question?” Dave asks, unable to help himself one morning when she’s sitting across from him in the spare chair in his office, an open report draped over her crossed legs..
She looks up from the report questioningly.
“You don’t take suppressants,” Dave says.
“That’s not a question,” she points out, and Dave smiles.
“Why?” he asks.
“I personally believe that Omegas should be allowed to exist in public whether or not they are on suppressants,” she responds quickly, in what sounds like a very well-practiced speech. “I’m part of a group of Omegas that refuse to take them in order to show that we’re perfectly capable of existing alongside Alphas, and that we deserve to take up space.” As she speaks, her voice becomes louder, more impassioned. Her chin tips up as if she’s challenging Dave to disagree. He doesn’t.
“Of course,” Dave says. “But isn’t that… inconvenient?”
It’s the wrong thing to say.
“Is it inconvenient for me to exist in public?” she retorts with a scoff. “No, it’s not, thank you very much, and when it is, it’s because some asshole Alpha with outdated views on Omegas thinks they know something about it.”
“I don’t think that,” Dave counters. “I just mean, doesn’t it put you in danger?”
“So I should suppress who I am instead of, y’know Alphas not being violent?” she snaps, rising to her feet.
Dave blinks up at her in silence, unsure of what to say.
“Excuse me,” she says briskly, and walks out of the room.
That… hadn’t gone how Dave had intended.
— — — — — —
You’re struggling to focus. The Threat Vulnerability Matrix you’re studying keeps blurring, and you blink rapidly to focus on the computer screen.
You keep thinking back to your meeting today, at the wounded expression in those pretty, dark eyes. Even after two months of working with the man, you don’t know what to make of Dave York.
Dave fucking York. An Alpha if there ever was one–abrupt, aggressive, and dominating. And yet, there’s something about him that you can’t put your finger on. He treats you the same as he treats everyone else in the office (which means he’s an asshole to you, but he’s an asshole to everyone, that’s the point). He doesn’t treat you like a subordinate, he doesn’t treat you like a piece of meat, and he doesn’t treat you like you’re made of glass–which is the worst of the three, honestly.
There are times when the two of you are in his office and he’s grilling you incessantly about the smallest detail in your latest report, and Dave will suddenly look up and smile at you with warmth in his eyes. Why? If you examine the evidence too hard, it appears that Dave York… likes you.
But then he has to go and do something shitty, like question your decision to be off suppressants. Dick.
Because of your position in Intelligence, you know things about Dave York that you shouldn’t. The man isn’t just the quintessential Alpha–he’s a killer. You’ve read the classified reports, read the things he’s done in nauseating detail. He’s ruthless, violent, and unforgiving. Typical Alpha behavior. Regardless of how those pretty brown eyes and plush lips make you feel when you steal a glance at the man, you’d do well to stay far away.
Besides, a man who is so very much an Alpha would want nothing to do with you. You know what they say about you in the office. Assertive. (That’s one of the nicer ones.) Stuck-up. Rude. A fucking bitch. You don’t fit their expectations for an Omega, and they hate it. You don’t fit in any box, really. That’s why it was so refreshing when you’d found your tribe at Omega Out Loud. You could be yourself without having to feel like you were doing something inherently wrong. You have plenty of Omega traits, sure, but you also have a lot of qualities that would be more common in a Beta, or even an Alpha. As a result, many Omegas don’t think you’re Omega enough, and Alphas generally don’t see you as an attractive mate.
You’re a real hit on dating sites.
It’s fine–you’re too attached to your work to spend much time worrying about whether you’re mate-able. In fact, that’s where you are right now–in your cubicle at 8pm, working late.
You’d be at home in your pajamas already, but your heat is due any day now, and you usually take a few days off leading up to it as well in order to avoid any uncomfortable situations at work. It’s a little bit more of an inconvenience, but it’s worth it to be able to feel like you’re being true to yourself. No one ever mentions the fucking side effects of suppressants: Mood swings. Weight gain. Heart problems. High blood pressure. Sexual dysfunction. Why is it always assumed that Omegas want to be on them?
An uncomfortable twinge in your abdomen reminds you of why. Oh right–your heats. As much as you hate to admit it, Dave really was right–being off suppressants can be dangerous. If you run into an Alpha right now, your twin pheromones might cause both of you to act in ways you normally wouldn’t. An Omega that’s almost in heat is a fucking beacon signal. Get it here! And during that time, you’re frustratingly susceptible to an Alpha’s influence. As the slick starts to gather between your thighs, your inhibitions lower, and you start to crave something to ease the ache–a toy, your fingers, an unsuspecting Alpha with deep brown eyes and pouty lips and wavy hair and–wait, where did that come from?
You shake your head rapidly and continue typing.
You don’t focus for very long before the building lights flicker ominously, and your computer abruptly switches off. A power surge, perhaps? Frowning, you stand up, casting your eyes around the empty floor. Weird. It’s dark outside now–you hadn’t realized how late it was getting. Well, your computer randomly turning off is as good a cue as any to hurry home to where your nest, copious amounts of snacks, and your favorite knotted toys are already waiting for you.
Grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, you head toward the nearest elevators. You almost push the ‘down’ button, but something makes you stop, your finger hovering in the air as you look up. The numbers. They’re moving. The elevators are in use, all four of them, traveling down to the first floor and then up again, heading this way. Signals in your brain start to go haywire. Something isn’t right about this. You head to the window and look down at the entrance to the building.
It’s being swarmed by unidentified people wearing black.
You can see their assault rifles from here.
A sudden stab of pain in your core makes you double over, your fist hitting the glass of the window. Shit. Want to know one of the best ways to trigger an early heat?
Stress.
Suddenly, the symptoms hit you like a freight train. Body sweats, cramps, light-headedness, you name it. You struggle to stay upright as you watch the tide of assailants entering the building.
You have to hide.
Any Alpha will be able to scent you out behind closed doors, so you have to choose somewhere with limited points of entry. Somewhere where you can potentially create a seal where air cannot escape. What in this building could be used to create a seal? You cast your eyes around in desperation before they land on a nondescript door labeled Maintenance. You drag yourself gingerly over to the door, and open it, rifling through the shelves for something you can use. Paint thinner? Sandpaper? Bleach? Screwdriver? Caulk?
Caulk! You grab the bottle and shut the door, applying an inelegant line of sealant to the seam. You go over it once, twice, three times, four, before the bottle is empty and you cast it aside. Honestly, if any air escapes at all, you’d be surprised. It’s not pretty, and it’s probably overkill, but you have a feeling it’s going to work.
It’s not a moment too soon, because as another wave of equal parts nausea and arousal hits, you hear voices as the intruders step off of the elevators and into the Intelligence department.
It’s only then that you realize you left your messenger bag–and your phone–sitting by the windows.
— — — — —
The call comes when Dave is at the gym.
“Sir?” the voice says. “There’s been a breach.”
Thirty-six hours of preparation later, and Dave York is slipping, silent and undetected, into the DIA offices, followed by a handful of his most trusted men. He’s covered from head to toe in black clothing, his favorite gun held aloft in front of him as he moves up the stairs to Intelligence. They make quick work of dispatching the guards along the way. They always make the same mistake–appointing their weakest links as guards. Half of them barely even saw him coming.
The main office floor is a bit more of a challenge. The open floor plan makes any offensive position vulnerable, and Dave and his team are exposed and outnumbered the moment they open the door. Still, there’s a reason this team is the best at what they do. Before long, all the intruders are down and the floor is silent once more.
“Sweep the area,” Dave orders under his breath, not wanting to break the eerie silence. The hair on the back of his neck is standing up–something isn’t right. He can feel–wait. He sniffs the air.
“You smell that?” he asks the Alpha beside him.
“Smell what?”
Dave shakes his head. “Never mind.”
Someone is here. And not just someone…
Dave has been completely fixated on that smell for months. He can smell it on his clothes when he leaves work, he can feel the ghost of it on his skin even after a shower, he can call it up at night when he lies awake in bed. It’s an obsession for him. He can’t stop thinking of her–’his’ analyst.
He would know her scent anywhere.
She works here, of course, so it wouldn’t be unusual for her scent to linger on her office chair, but that’s not where Dave smells it.
It’s coming from that door.
Frowning, he moves over to it and shakes the handle.
Locked.
Holding his gun loosely–just in case it’s a trick–Dave steps back and slams his foot into the door.
— — — — —
Can someone die of arousal?
It seems like a stupid thing to ask, but as the time in your self-imposed prison ticks on, the question keeps coming around to haunt you. Each cramp is becoming more and more painful, each wave of nausea stronger, the sensation of emptiness more and more unbearable, to the point that your entire body physically aches and your hands are shaking.
You’ve tried to seek relief with your own fingers, but without a knotted toy filling you up, all it does is provide a seconds-long moment of temporary relief before the ache returns, stronger than before. You’ve managed to make a little nest for yourself out of some (hopefully) clean towels and shop rags, and you’ve discarded your pants and underwear as you try fruitlessly to work yourself through it.
You can’t die from an unassisted heat… can you?
You lose track of time. You know it’s probably been hours, because you’re also becoming incredibly hungry, but how much? Eight hours? Twelve? Twenty-four? It’s hard to mark time with no stimulus, no outward change that you can mark.
You fight down a frightened sob. This isn’t fair–you’re trapped in a maintenance closet trying to silently work through a heat unaided by any toys while people with guns are trying to hack into your systems. You can hear them trying–and they’ve as of yet been unsuccessful. If only you weren’t an Omega, you could stop them, somehow. If you were a Beta, or even better, an Alpha, you wouldn’t be shaking and dizzy from arousal in a storage closet, you’d be able to escape, to alert someone, to try and do something to thwart them yourself.
Instead, you’re stuck.
You think of what some of your fellow activists at Omega Out Loud would say. Your Omega is part of you. Be proud to be an Omega. Wear your designation with pride. You fight down a little moan as the cramps start to hit. It's relatively easy to embrace it in a work setting, in front of a bunch of Alphas who think they know better simply because of what they are. It’s much more difficult when your heat is interfering with a life or death situation.
You drift in and out of awareness, alternating between not-really-sleeping, rubbing your clit frantically, and being curled in a ball shaking with silent tears.
Maybe you should go on suppressants, after all.
You’ve completely lost track of what the hell is happening outside of the four walls of your prison when the door handle suddenly rattles, and a curse is muttered. Oh fuck. Oh shit. You’re in no condition to defend yourself. Even if you grab a spare hammer and hurl it at the intruder, your shaking hands and dizzy head all but guarantee you’ll miss. You can barely even hold the thing, much less throw it with all of your strength with the intent to disable your foe.
Bam!
The loud, jarring sound of a boot connecting with wood makes you drop the hammer anyway, sending you scooting backwards.
Bam!
That kick dislodges most of the caulk that you’d applied around the seam of the door.
CRACK!
The third and final kick sends the door flying inward, and you scramble back into the corner at the sight of the man entering the room gun-first, swallowing the nausea and shame at being so utterly helpless during your heats. This is what your Omega turns you into, you think with a frustrated sob. You’re barely able to move, much less defend yourself, and you hate it. You’d been hit with the man’s scent abruptly when the seal on the door broke. An Alpha. He’s an Alpha, he’s found you, and you are so fucked. You look up at him, some sort of plea for mercy on your lips, before you stop.
“D-Dave?” you whimper, your voice hoarse.
Dave’s eyebrows pinch together, his mouth pursing into a surprised oh as he takes in the scene–a makeshift nest of towels, the scent of Omega heavy in the air, and you, half-clothed and cowering in the corner of the room, one hand over your abdomen as it cramps with pain, the other held aloft in a gesture of surrender.
“Oh my God,” he murmurs. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Him. Why does it have to be him? Dave fucking York. You can smell him, and to your utter disgust, you want him, your Omega fighting for any kind of relief, from any source.
No. You bite back a grunt of pain. “Get away from me,” you cry out through clenched teeth, your voice wavering.
“How long have you been trapped in here?” Dave asks, ignoring your desperate command.
“Get–please,” you try again. “I can’t–”
“Stop.”
It’s a command, from an Alpha. So you do. Your mouth closes abruptly, but you don’t stop glaring at Dave defiantly.
“How long have you been here?” he tries again.
“F-few days?” you murmur. Another flare of pain courses through you, and you gasp, doubling over, clutching at your abdomen. “Fuck!”
“And how long have you been in heat?” Dave asks, his voice softening.
“I was–It was already coming on when–-when they got here,” you answer.
“And you stayed hidden?” His eyebrows raise in surprise.
“Door…” you say weakly. “I put… caulk.” You gesture weakly at the empty bottle on the floor by the entrance. Dave purses his lips, looking impressed.
Your heat had been almost unbearable before, and now that an Alpha is here in the room, it almost feels like you’ll die if you don’t get relief. A few tears course their way down your cheeks as another cramp hits.
“Do you not have anything to–?”
“No!” you cry out. “Does it fucking look like I do?”
The pain hits a crescendo, and you curl into a ball. “Shit, shit shit–”
“Omega.” The word is barely audible, Dave says it so gently, but your Omega sure as hell hears it. You stiffen, quieting.
“It’s only going to get worse.”
Your temper flares again. “Are you just going to–hnng–stand there and… p-point out the obvious?” you grit out through the pain.
Dave doesn’t respond. He watches you for a few moments longer, then, with what appears to be herculean effort, starts to back away.
Your Omega breaks.
“Apha, please,” you whimper, before you can catch yourself.
It’s the phrase he’s waiting for; Dave suddenly at your side, lifting you into his arms and placing you gently back into your makeshift nest.
“Listen to me,” he says quietly, “I don’t know if you’ve gone through a heat without help, artificial or not, but I’ve seen it used as a torture technique before, and I’ve never seen anyone who hasn’t broken.”
“Oh god–” you start to cry.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Dave urges. “I’m going to help you.” He reaches out to touch your arm, and you flinch away with fear, eyes wide. He looks pained, but he stops, his hand hovering just above your skin.
“You don’t need to be afraid.” It’s not an order. The man puts zero compulsion into his voice, and yet you find yourself relaxing under his gaze.
“Can I touch your arm now?”
You stare incredulously at Dave. His hand is hovering inches from your arm. As an Alpha, he must have ironclad restraint in order to stop himself from simply reaching out and taking an Omega in heat, but the only outward sign of discomfort you can see is a vein on the side of his neck. His eyes are black pools, boring into yours, but his lips are soft and relaxed. He remains patient, waiting for your consent. For your trust. Slowly, you start to nod.
Dave’s hand on your forearm sends a wave of relief coursing through you, and you crumple, slumping against him, your hands grabbing uselessly in your desperation.
“Shh, okay,” he murmurs into your ear. “I’m going to help you. Slow down.”
“Please, it hurts–”
“I know,” he says, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Stay with me.”
“Dave…”
“I’m here.”
You feel his hand gently sliding up your inner thigh to your weeping cunt, and your hips buck of their own accord at the feel of Alpha’s touch. A finger slips inside, then two fingers, and it already feels far better than you were able to do yourself, making you sob in relief.
“Good girl,” Dave soothes you as he starts fucking you slowly with his fingers. “Good Omega. I’m going to make you feel better, okay? I’ll make it stop hurting.”
You nod and bury your head in his chest, breathing in his scent. It’s been so long without relief that you come almost immediately, clenching around his fingers and causing another wave of slick to gather on his fingers.
“That’s it, fuck, you’re so wet, Omega. Can you do it again for me? You went far too long without any relief, honey. You’re going to need more than one for it to stop hurting.”
You nod in agreement. Dave’s fingers don’t let up, thrusting in and curling up against your sweet spot over and over again while you whimper and babble nonsense into his chest.
“Good girl, I’ve got you,” Dave keeps talking you through the unbearable heat. “Just relax, I’m going to take care of you. It’ll stop,” he soothes. “It will. I’ll let you come as many times as it takes.”
You come twice, then three times, on Dave’s fingers, but it’s not enough. Now that you have this, you want more–your Omega needs more.
“Alpha, please, I need–”
“What do you need, sweet thing?” Dave asks. “You need my tongue?”
You shake your head rapidly. “I need–she needs–oh, fuck.” You duck your head in embarrassment.
“Tell me.” It’s a compulsion, but you’re not sure if Dave had intended for it to be. His Alpha instincts have to be screaming at him right now. You aren’t sure how he’s remaining so incredibly calm. He grimaces at his own tone, but doesn’t say anything further.
“Your knot, Alpha.” Even if he hadn’t ordered you, you would have told him anyway.
Dave hums low in his throat. “You need more?” he asks. “You need another finger?” You feel another one of his thick digits slide into your heat, and you moan wantonly, but it’s not enough. You need him.
“No,” you whimper. “It’s not enough. I want you.”
“That’s not a good idea,” Dave murmurs, shaking his head against your temple.
“Why?” you whine.
“You’re in heat,” he says simply. “You’re not in your right mind–neither of us are. You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
You fall apart again around three of Dave’s fingers with a strangled gasp and a wild buck of your hips, but your Omega reminds you that you’re empty, empty, empty…
“Alpha, please,” you say again. “I want it, I do. And… she needs it,” you admit, unable to meet Dave’s eyes. “I–I feel like I’m not going to get through this without it. W-Without you.”
“You don’t understand,” Dave says, his voice low and dangerous. “This is already very difficult. I’m already holding myself back. If I give you my knot, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back any longer.”
“Good. I don’t care. I don’t want you to hold back,” you say immediately. “It’s been days, I let it get too bad, I’m too far gone.”
Dave growls low in his throat. “I’ve kept this at bay for years,” he grits out. “I don’t know what will happen if I let it go. I’ll lose control. I’ll hurt you.”
Yes, your Omega cries. Yes, yes, yes—
You realize you’re saying it out loud as well when Dave interrupts your last ‘yes’ with his lips crashing into yours with a pained cry.
Everything happens quickly after that. The rest of your clothing is discarded, along with Dave’s, and the two of you are molded together in the nest of blankets and pillows. He hisses when you reach out to grasp his cock, and you suddenly realize why he’s concerned about hurting you. If this is the size of his cock, what will his knot feel like? Your eyes flick up to him in trepidation, but Dave shakes his head, his jaw tense.
“You asked for this, little Omega,” he says softly.
Dave enters you in one, swift thrust.
You throw your head back as he breaches you–far bigger than his fingers, both longer and thicker. It’s already too much, but your Omega finally feels sated after days of the burning sensation of being so incredibly empty.
Your hands scrabble for purchase on Dave’s shoulders, and he doesn’t slow down, punching into you again and again and again until you’re gasping for air. He looks down at you with a smirk, watching you struggle–trying to squirm away from him and push yourself further onto him at the same time.
“Come.”
This time, the compulsion is purposeful. Dave throws all of his intent behind the command, and your Omega obeys, clenching around his cock as he fucks you through it.
“Good,” his Alpha purrs. “Again.”
You gasp in surprise as another climax follows, your Omega unable to disobey, even though the overstimulation is almost painful.
You can feel Dave’s cock starting to swell as his knot rises. Tears are already squeezing out of the corners of your eyes as the pressure increases, and Dave’s nose scrapes against the swollen gland on your neck. Bite it, your Omega urges. Bite it, bite it, bite it–
“One more time,” Dave urges, dropping the edge from his voice. “You can do it. One more time for me, honey.”
You immediately shake your head. “T-Too much,” you whimper.
“I need you to come while you take my knot,” Dave insists. “It will make your heat go away faster.”
“I-I don’t know if I can,” you admit.
“Don’t make me do it,” Dave says, his lips quirking upward with amusement, but you already know he’s going to.
His lips still brushing against your gland, Dave gives you one more command.
“Omega… come.”
Your back arches with the force of it, clamping down on Dave’s knot as it grows. Dave’s teeth start to scrape against the skin of your neck, and you throw your head back in invitation without thinking. Bite it bite it bite it—
At the last second, Daves mouth moves and he sinks his teeth into the meat of your shoulder instead as he comes with a deep groan. You sink with a mixture of relief and disappointment. Relief that Dave, a man you hardly know, didn’t accidentally mate you in the heat of the moment, but disappointment because your Omega very much wanted to be bitten.
You can’t focus on either emotion for long because Dave’s knot hurts in a way that you didn’t expect, even knowing the size of his cock. You whimper and squirm, starting to panic at your inability to move, but Dave is there, talking to you quietly and soothingly.
“I know,” he murmurs, his voice far softer than it had been before. “I know, it’s a lot. It’s a lot, but you can take it. Look at you,” he purrs. “You’re all stretched out on my knot. It’s hard, huh? I told you I would hurt you.”
Your Omega is blissfully silent for the first time in days, but you’re starting to wonder whether you’d make a mistake in asking for his knot. You bury your head in Dave’s shoulder as the tears come.
“Breathe,” Dave instructs. “Breathe, little Omega.”
You think you might sleep. You drift in and out of awareness, only able to focus on the overwhelming feeling of fullness. It feels as if Dave’s knot will never go down, that you’ll be swollen with it forever. Eventually, it starts to hurt less, but you can’t tell if the knot is actually receding, or if you’re getting used to the feeling of him stretching you past your limits.
When the little crease of discomfort on your forehead goes away and you relax into him fully, Dave starts to talk.
“What on earth are you doing here?” he asks quietly.
“I was staying late,” you answer. “My–I knew my heat was coming in a few days, and I was trying to get caught up on work before I took a few days off for it.” Then they came, and I–I couldn’t evacuate the building,” you answer. “I misjudged. I was already so close to being in heat; I obviously couldn’t be in public. I hid myself in here and sealed the doors.”
“Why here?” Dave asks, amused. “Why a storage closet?”
“That’s where the caulk was,” you murmur. “I was running out of time.”
Dave hums and rubs his nose along your scent gland again, making you shiver pleasantly. “Plus, no windows,” he points out. “Less ways for the scent to get out.”
“Exactly,” you say.
“Smart girl,” Dave praises.
“I didn’t really have a plan beyond that,” you admit. “I didn’t have any of my toys, I was just trying to get through it with my fingers, and it wasn’t enough–I felt like I was going to die.”
“Shh,” Dave whispers. “You did so well, my brave girl.”
When his knot goes down enough for him to finally slip out of you, Dave announces that he needs to get you out of here.
“You haven’t had anything to eat in here,” he observes. “And I’m not going to let you go through the rest of your heat hungry, in a storage closet.”
“I can’t move, they’ll know, they’ll see–”
“Oh, honey,” Dave tuts. “They’re all dead.”
— — — — — — — —
Dave half-carries her through the office–where his team is cleaning up the aftermath of their operation tonight.
She flinches slightly at the sight of the bodies scattered about the floor, but otherwise barely reacts. She’s still somewhat delirious, and Dave can understand why. If the reports are correct, the building has been occupied since Thursday. It’s now Saturday night. He’s never seen an Omega go three days into a heat completely unassisted. She must have been in terrible pain, and yet she stayed quiet enough to go undetected, suffering through her heat in silence.
Fuck, he’s so attracted to her.
The Alphas on his team whip their heads around when they detect the scent of an Omega in heat, but with one look from Dave–his hand curled possessively around her and his eyes black coals–they avert their eyes and go back to their work.
They make it to Dave’s car without incident.
“Tell me where you live,” Dave orders quietly, pulling up the map on his phone.
She recites her address in a monotone, her eyes falling shut as she tips her head back on the headrest. She must be exhausted–but another wave will come sooner rather than later, Dave is sure of it.
She dozes while he drives, and he hates to wake her when they arrive, but he shakes her shoulder gently.
“We’re here.”
She blinks slowly, looking at Dave with parted lips and hooded eyes. “Alpha…” she murmurs.
So it’s starting again.
“We need to get you some food,” Dave says, getting out of the car and coming around to her side to lift her up. This time, he pulls her properly into his arms, inhaling her scent as he brushes his nose against her temple.
It’s hard not to lay her down right inside the door and give her his knot again with the little whimpers and moans she’s making, but Dave grits his teeth and walks into her kitchen instead, setting her down on the countertop.
“It aches,” she whimpers, grabbing onto Dave’s wrist like a vice.
“I know,” Dave answers softly. “But you’re eating first, it’s been three days.”
“But I need–”
“No.” Dave puts all of his intent behind the word, and not just for her. It’s for him, a reminder to himself that he has a responsibility to take care of her and not just rut into her over and over until his Alpha is sated. Except she’s looking at him like he’d just slapped her across the face, and he realizes he’d probably been too harsh. “What can I get you to eat?” he asks, opening cabinets at random until he finds the glassware.
“I’ve got heat snacks in there,” she says, waving her arm at a cabinet behind him. He retrieves a few granola bars and fills the glass with water, and returns to her.
“Eat all of these, drink two full glasses, and then–” Dave cuts himself off, clearing his throat.
Even after he’s already filled her, it feels awkward to say it out loud. And then I’ll fuck you again. They both know what the end of the sentence was going to be, so he doesn’t bother continuing, and she occupies herself with the granola bars, taking big, enthusiastic bites interspersed with long swigs of water as if she hasn’t eaten in days. She hasn’t, Dave reminds himself. God, she’s strong. Whoever had said Omegas were the weaker sex were imbeciles–she went through a hostage situation with no food for three days, having to stay completely silent during an unassisted heat that must have been intolerable by the time he’d found her.
The moment she’s done with the third granola bar, Dave gently grabs her face with both hands and presses his lips to hers.
“Oh!” she makes a muffled sound of surprise. “Alpha–”
“Dave,” he corrects. “Don’t call me that–call me Dave.”
“Dave,” she says immediately, her wide eyes searching his face.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “Fuck, like that.”
“Dave, please,” she whimpers.
“Hang on–” Dave grabs three more granola bars and two bottles of gatorade from the fridge. “You’re eating again right after,” he announces.
“Yes, Alpha,” she drawls lazily, a small, dazed smile on her face, already drunk on her own pheromones. It’s incredibly cute.
She enters her bedroom with a relieved sigh, moving forward and collapsing onto her bed, where a much larger and more comfortable nest is waiting for her. For them. She scrubs her hands over her face and lets out a groan that has less to do with pleasure and more with the relief of being somewhere where she feels safe. Dave feels off-balance for a moment, unsure if he has a place here, but then she looks over at him with a question in those sultry, half-lidded eyes. Alpha?
Dave smiles and walks forward, climbing over her on the bed and pressing his body against hers. Omega. She lets out a little gasp at the contact and arches into him, seeking more friction.
“Patience,” he scolds teasingly.
“Been three days,” she growls, clenching her teeth. “You don’t get to tell me to be patient.”
“Touché.” Dave grinds down on her roughly, making her cry out. “Then you won’t be opposed if I give this to you exactly how I want?”
“Depends on how you want it,” she retorts, although she’s already pulling at her shirt.
“I’ll show you how I want it,” Dave grunts, sitting up to yank her pants and underwear off in one swift motion. “Turn around,” he orders. “Get on your knees for me.”
She’s nodding rapidly, her breath coming in pants as she obeys. Dave gives in to the temptation to grab her cheeks and spread her apart, showing him every inch of her glistening pussy.
“Fucking perfect,” he growls. “You’re so wet; you’ve been waiting so long for this, honey,” he says, his voice honey-thick. “Let me give you what you’ve been needing all this time.”
Despite his posturing, Dave still enters her slowly, giving her plenty of time to adjust to his size. He rubs her lower back soothingly until he’s buried to the hilt and she’s letting out those pretty little whimpers that tell him she wants him to move.
Well, Dave thinks with a smirk. He can do that. He pulls almost all the way out, then pushes back in, giving her his cock in long, hard strokes that immediately send her to her elbows as her arms give out. She moans wordlessly into the blankets, taking every punishing thrust with an arched back, her hands clutching uselessly at the sheets. When she starts pushing back onto him, Dave grabs her cheeks again and spreads her open the same way, using his grip to pull her back onto his cock. The new angle makes her wail and he feels her core starting to tighten around him.
“That’s it,” he encourages. “Come on, come for me again. Come for me and then I’ll give you my knot, little Omega.”
She keens.
“Oh, you like that?” Dave teases. “Desperate little Omega wants my knot?”
She nods frantically into the covers, and Dave’s smile falters.
“It hurt you before, silly thing. It made you cry. You sure you want that again?”
She mumbles something unintelligible into the sheets.
“I didn’t hear that, honey, say it again.”
“L-Liked it,” she pants.
It’s Dave’s undoing. His knot starts to swell as fucks into her once, twice, three times, and stills as the pressure in his cock reaches a breaking point and he’s fully seated within her.
“Good girl,” Dave whispers as it stretches her. “Good girl, you’re taking it so well. My good girl–my Omega.”
She whimpers and squirms just like the last time, a few more tears of discomfort escaping her eyes. Dave keeps murmuring to her, watching her face intently, seeing her lower lip tremble even as she sinks with palpable relief. Her Omega needs it, even if it’s too much, and his Alpha is practically triumphant that she wants his knot even though it hurts her.
Still catching his breath, Dave lowers down and pulls her slightly on her side so that they’re both resting flush against each other, his knot still pulsing deep inside her. He places his hand on her lower abdomen, and fuck, he can feel the swell of his knot against his palm. He drops his forehead to her shoulder and hisses a curse under his breath. Down, Alpha. Dave swallows and presses a kiss to her skin before reaching for the food.
“Have some more,” Dave says, handing her a granola bar.
She bites her lip, fighting down a whimper of discomfort. “RIght now? While we’re–”
“Please?” Dave asks softly. “Do it for me.”
She finishes off all of the snacks he’d brought, plus the two gatorades, while his knot still pulsed thick and hot, refusing to go down. Good. The longer he fills her, the longer she’ll go without needing him again, and she can get some much needed rest.
“You should sleep,” Dave says.
“Mm,” she grunts. Her eyes are already closed.
Dave closes his eyes too, pulling her closer still. Just before sleep pulls him under, she speaks again.
“D-Dave?”
“Hmm?”
“Is this—I–” she swallows thickly. “I’ve never had an Alpha help me through a heat, and–fuck,” she cuts herself off again.
“Where’s the assertive woman who yelled at me because I was ‘reading the data wrong?’” Dave teases.
“I don’t know,” she mumbles. “Stupid Omega shit has me all… discombobulated.”
Dave chuckles. “Thought you were proud of being an Omega,” he counters. “That you deserve to take up space. Isn’t this part of taking up space?”
She’s quiet for a moment.
“Damn you,” she whispers. “You used my words against me.”
“Tell me what you were going to say,” Dave says, fighting tooth and nail against his Alpha to keep the compulsion out of his voice.
“Is this–is this just because of wh-what we are?” she asks, her voice wavering. “Our biology? Or is there–”
No, Dave immediately thinks to himself. No, no, no. Never just that. He opens his mouth to speak and then, inexplicably, loses his nerve. He can’t remember the last time he didn’t say what was on his mind, no matter the circumstance, but he finds himself second-guessing the words before he says them. He never second-guesses.
“Do you want it to be just that?” he asks softly.
“I–” she takes a shaky breath. “I don’t want that,” she says. “I don’t want this to just be scratching some primal urge, I want–”
Frustratingly, she doesn’t finish, but Dave has the answer he needs already.
Tightening his hold around her, he presses his lips against her scent gland when he speaks.
“It was always just you.”
— — — — — —
You aren’t sure what wakes you. It could be the overwhelming need to pee after two large glasses of water and two gatorades. It could be your Omega starting to claw her way to the surface again, letting her desires be known. You’re still in your heat, after all. Or even still, it could be the fact that it feels as if a goddamn furnace is at your back, beads of sweat starting to pool between your shoulder blades as your body tries, in vain, to lower the temperature.
It could also be the snoring in your ear.
You smile to yourself as you look around the room. It’s daylight now–you must have slept through the night, although you don’t know what time Dave had rescued you, or when you got home.
His cock had slipped out of you sometime during the night, and your hips shift back against him reflexively. You need it again. You need Alpha.
At the feel of your ass pressing back against his cock, Dave stirs, grunting softly as he wakes.
Dave. Had you imagined last night? Not the rutting–the ache between your thighs assures you that was real. But what came after… It was always just you. Is that truly what he had said? You can still hear it–the exact timbre of his voice, the way it vibrated low in his chest, the feel of his lips forming the words on your scent gland, but it still doesn’t feel real. It was always just you.
The subject of your ruminations lets out another soft grunt, his hand coming to your hips, guiding you back against him, then again, and again, until you’re rocking rhythmically together.
“That’s it,” Dave urges, his voice thick and gravelly with sleep. “Does someone need me again, little Omega?”
“Yes,” you grumble, still half asleep even though your Omega is very much awake.
“Ask nicely.”
“Alpha, I need you,” you pout, pushing back against Dave.
“Try again.”
“Alph–”
Dave growls low in his throat.
“Dave,” you breathe, and his grip immediately tightens on your hip. “Fuck, Dave please. I need you.”
“Me?” he asks, although the tip of him is already lining up with your cunt.
“You,” you answer, and Dave slides home.
This time, your coupling is unhurried–although Dave’s grip is still rough and bruising, his thrusts still deep and overwhelming, but his lips are soft and tender on your neck, his teeth scraping lightly against your scent glands until you’re a panting mess.
Dave sucks his own fingers into his mouth and reaches down to rub little circles on your clit.
“Poor thing,” he murmurs, and although it’s meant to be condescending, you can still hear the hint of genuine feeling in his words. “Going to be sore after this is over.”
You nod in agreement but push back harder on his cock.
“Fuck, you perfect thing,” Dave groans, his teeth biting down slightly on your gland–not enough to leave a mark, to properly mate you, but enough to feel his intent. “Fuck, I want–oh, honey–”
“Please,” you whine. “Yes–yesyesyes–do it, please.”
Dave’s thrusts speed up as he makes a broken sound of pleasure into your neck. You cock it to the side, inviting him in. Bite it, your Omega urges for the second time during this heat. Bite it, bite it–
For the second time, Dave’s mouth finds the meat of your shoulder instead, sinking his teeth into your skin with a rough groan. His knot swells again and you hiss at the mixture of pleasure and pain. It’s more of a stretch than any toy you’ve ever tried, but it seems that you’re finally adjusting to it after the third time. Hell, you don’t even cry.
Dave’s hand finds yours and slides it sensually down your body–over your breasts and down to the soft swell of your stomach.
“Feel me there?” he asks, pressing down slightly.
Your breath catches. You can–there’s an unnatural fullness to your belly, a hard bump deep inside where Dave is filling you with his seed, over and over and over. Suddenly, your Omega rears her head, overcome with the idea of being filled, of being his, being Dave’s, of being his Omega and not just someone that he’s helping through a heat.
“Dave, why–” you begin. “Why didn’t you–” your hand moves up to your scent gland, where Dave had chosen not to mark you in the heat of the moment.
“I want you to want it,” Dave replies softly.
“I do–”
“I want you,” he repeats, firmer, “to want it. You. Nothing else.”
An avalanche of recent memories crashes through your mind. Don’t call me that–call me Dave. It was always just you. I want you to want it.
He’s been telling you all this time: it’s not just an Alpha and Omega thing. It’s him–it’s you. The both of you.
“Dave,” you whisper, a shaky smile appearing on your face. “It was always just you, too.”
Dave buries his head between your shoulder blades, but doesn’t say anything further. Finally, he says, “What would you like for breakfast?”
You giggle at the sudden shift in tone. “What?”
“You can’t just have granola bars all weekend,” Dave argues. “I’m making you breakfast.”
“Are you asking me how I like my eggs?” you say with a playful wink.
“Tell me, or I’m making you what I fucking feel like making you,” Dave grumbles, apparently annoyed with your silly joke.
You are still very hungry. “I like pancakes,” you offer. “And sausage. And bacon. And eggs, any style really. I’ve got toast, and peanut butter, and–”
Dave’s hand comes down on one cheek with a satisfying slap, and you squeal in surprise.
“Shut up,” he grumbles–with absolutely no malice in his voice. “When my knot goes down, I’m making you whatever the fuck I want.”
‘Whatever he wants’ turns out to be a little bit of everything–pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, some frozen fruit that he found in the back of your freezer–all prepared while you sit at the kitchen table, feeling a little silly, drinking the coffee that had also been made by Dave.
“Eat up,” he says, putting a heaping plate down in front of you.
You gape up at him. “You didn’t need to–”
“Eat.” Dave throws a hint of compulsion into his voice, but it has a playful tone to it–as if he’s doing it only to tease you. You used to hate being compelled, but you find that, with Dave, you actually like it. He always seems to use it in a way that’s caring–like when you’re being obstinate for no reason and he’s had enough, or when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to accept the help that he’s freely giving.
You’re starving. You dig into the plate with gusto, devouring every bit until nothing remains. You smile up at him.
“That wasn’t so hard, wasn’t it?” Dave asks, a smile teasing at his lips.
“No, Alpha,” you pout playfully.
“How are you feeling?”
“Good. I think–I think it’s lightening up,” you say. “It doesn’t feel quite as urgent this morning.”
“Good,” Dave says. “It’ll probably be over before the day is up.”
“It’s been a hell of a heat,” you say with a sardonic laugh. “Not sure I ever want to repeat those first few days ever again.”
“What about the last few?” Dave quirks one eyebrow at you.
You duck your head, smiling shyly. “Remains to be seen.”
Dave huffs a laugh through his nose. “You’re hard to please.”
“Am I?”
“Mmhmm,” he grunts, stepping closer. “I need more practice.”
“Your knot just went down,” you protest, swatting his chest.
“I could go again,” Dave counters.
“Well I can’t,” you grumble.
“No,” Dave agrees, giving you a far-too-tender kiss on the forehead. “You can’t.”
Instead, you spend the morning curled up on the couch, reading a book with your legs draped over Dave’s lap. His own choice is propped against your knees, his free hand resting on your thigh. He glances at you every so often, although you pretend not to notice. Your mind starts to wander as you read, and you start wondering about whether Dave has ever helped anyone through a heat before, whether he’s marked anyone before, whether he’ll want to see you when the fog clears and the two of you are back at work.
“I can practically hear you thinking,” Dave remarks wryly.
“I’m reading,” you say quickly.
“No, you’re not.”
“Have you ever done this before?” you ask.
“Nope, I’m a virgin,” Dave drawls. You roll your eyes.
“Helped an Omega through their heat,” you clarify. “You know what I meant.”
Dave nods. “A few times, mostly out of necessity.” He looks over at you. “You’ve really never gone through your heat with an Alpha?”
You shake your head. “Believe it or not, I’m not much of a catch,” you deadpan. “At least, not to an Alpha. I’ve been with Betas, mostly.”
“Not a catch?”
“I know you know what the Alphas say about me around the office,” you tell him. “It’s pretty much the same everywhere else, too.”
“They’re idiots,” Dave remarks.
You stare at him challengingly. “What do you think?”
Dave is silent for a few beats, the two of you watching each other, apparently waiting for the other to snap.
“I think it’s time for lunch.”
“Dave!”
“I think you’re incredible, is that what you want to hear?” Dave says, his voice rising in volume. “Do you want to know how many times I’ve gone home with your scent on my skin and fucked my hand, wishing it was you? Do you know how fucking hard it is not to mark you as mine?”
Your mouth falls open at the outburst. There are a hundred things you could say–I like you, let’s go on a date when this is over, will you stay until tomorrow, can we go back to bed–-but the thing that comes out of your mouth is, “Do it.”
Dave searches your face with a small frown. “You understand what that would mean?”
You nod. “I want it.”
With surprising speed, Dave grabs you and pulls you properly into his lap, so that your legs are on either side of his hips and he’s pulling you down on him, kissing you messily.
“Not gonna make it to the fucking bed,” Dave mumbles against your skin as he hastily pulls out his cock. “Any objections to that?”
You shake your head. “I want it here.”
“Good girl.”
It’s frantic–the two of you grasping, panting, fighting to get closer. Your nails dig into Dave’s back and he groans low in his throat. He guides your hips, helping you fuck yourself on him, slamming you down on his cock over and over again.
“Tell me you meant it,” Dave growls.
“Meant…?” you repeat in a daze.
Dave licks your scent gland rather than giving a verbal response.
Suddenly, you’re very clear-headed. The brain fog associated with your Omega taking over during a heat immediately dissipates, and while your Omega is very much along for the ride, it’s all you when you open your mouth to speak.
“Yes, Dave.”
Dave grips your neck roughly and jerks your head to the side, baring you to him. He inhales deeply, scenting you one last time before his teeth sink sharply into your gland.
The pleasure is explosive. Dave has spent the last two days showing you exactly how good your heat can be with an Alpha, but no orgasm so far has compared to how it feels with Dave’s teeth buried in your scent gland. You buck helplessly against him as he holds you still, the pleasure-pain of the bite and his growing knot making you dizzy and weak. It seems to have a similar reaction on Dave–he’s lost in it, groaning loudly, his face buried in your neck and his hands pulling you down on his knot, seating himself even deeper.
Dave’s teeth don’t release from your gland until his knot swells to its largest and he’s filling you with his seed yet again. His lips drag from the throbbing bite mark up to claim your lips, smearing the little tinge of blood on your neck up to your mouth. It’s feral, it’s depraved, and you love it.
“Mine,” Dave growls against your lips. “Mine, mine, Omega.”
“Don’t call me that,” you tease with a watery smile, throwing Dave’s request back at him.. “Call me by my name.”
Dave does, murmuring it over and over as you come down from your high. You realize you’re trembling with the overwhelming release of pheromones, and Dave makes soft shushing noises, rubbing up and down your back to soothe you as you slump into his chest.
“I can’t believe we did that,” you say with a giddy laugh after you’ve calmed down.
Dave hums softly in response. “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I met you.”
“No, you didn’t,” you argue back. “You just grilled me about my reports for thirty minutes.”
“Fair,” Dave agrees. “Maybe it was the second time I saw you.”
“I called you an idiot that time,” you remind him. “You read the fucking graph wrong–”
“I remember,” Dave grumbles. “You don’t need to remind me.”
“That’s when you wanted me as a mate,” you say skeptically.
Dave pulls back, arching one eyebrow in challenge. “Problem?”
Your face slowly spreads into a smile. “Not at all.”
— — — — — —
Six Months Later
“As you can see from the data, the threat of attack has decreased from 42 to 37 percent, which–”
“Actually,” someone across the crowded conference room interrupts, “I think that can be attributed to a number of factors, including–.”
“Are you… are you attempting to explain my own reporting to me?” she asks, raising her eyebrows at the Alpha.
The man glances over at Dave nervously, and Dave can see the fear in his eyes. He’s just insulted his mate, and he expects Dave to come rushing to her defense.
Instead, Dave crosses his arms, leans back in his chair with a neutral expression, and waits.
“What are you looking at him for?” his mate snaps. “Look at me. I’m giving the report.”
The other Alpha jumps, tearing his eyes from Dave, whose eyes are now glimmering with amusement.
“Sorry, ma’am,” he mumbles, looking down at the conference table.
“Let’s continue,” she says, stealing a fond look back at Dave before turning back to the presentation.
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First of all, I need to express my love for you and how grateful I am for your deep understanding of Lupin and Snape's characters. You're the first person I see that loves them both while also acknowledging their flaws and not trying to sugarcoat Lupin's toxicity (again, thank you)
Secondly, it is because of your great comprehension towards them that I'd like to see your opinion on this. We don't talk enough about Lupin's shitty and completely uncalled for behaviour towards Snape during PoA (and just how well Snape handles it, because God knows most people would have snapped, and he had more reasons than anyone to do so, but only intervened when CHILDREN'S safety was compromised)
What do you think would've happened in a world where, instead of taking Lupin's bullying and mocking during PoA, he returns it just as smoothly and doesn't just let the man walk over him? What of an alternative universe where Snape just says "you know what? Fuck it, I'm a loser but you're no better" and despite still being terrified afraid of Lupin, he also resents him and subtly puts him back in his place every time he pulls the usual shit? (While also keeping his distance because he doesn't want that man anywhere near him)
Would have Lupin gotten angry? Would he get cold feet and keep the distance too because he can't handle Snape actually fighting back? Would this turn into a toxic asf enemies to lovers dynamic with all the passive-agressive exchanges, backhanded compliments and constant fight for dominance in the situation?
Seriously, love your blog 💕 Hope you're well and thriving
Thankyou for the love :') I love the boys, and without their complex layers of toxicity and trauma the boys just wouldn't be The Boys anymore. Lupin's softness is nothing without his sharp edges after all.
Its been awhile since I read PoA. Its the next one i'm reading to my boyfriend. But this is a really interesting fic idea!!! Such a small change - but potential big consequences...? Remus is a coward, but in PoA he was spoiled with getting his own way - and things generally went really well for him.
I flicked through some of the chapters where they interact, so this isn't perfect - but what if Snape did snap back every time Remus tried to press him...? He was told to keep the werewolf's secret - not to allow himself to be bullied again.
((This this turned into a looooong look into their dynamic. Oopsy.))
Remus Lupin and the Nasty Man who Wont Let Things be Easy for Him
Chapter 7,
Remus arrives ~fashionably late~ to class so he can surprise the kids: 'only bring your wands (no lame textbooks) for a practical.' He is confident, a little playful - dealing with Peeves effortlessly.
(His father specialized in things like poltergeists and boggarts, after all.)
The kids think he is cool! He already knows all their names!
He is glowing with pride just to be there. So adorable I love him.
He has 100% been bouncing on his heels with nerves and excitement to teach this lesson. There is no way he was ACTUALLY late - he just wanted to appear aloof.
He wants to be cool - and fun - and comforting - and safe:
Why else have the first lesson be getting the kids to face the scariest thing they can imagine under HIS warm protection...?
Albus is definitely his role model - they have the same manipulation tactics.
Very different to Snapes 'get it right or else' lesson beforehand.
He is safe. He is SO safe. He is The Safest Man.
He's learned all their names already, isn't that nice of him?? Now he can learn all their fears, too - and he can soothe them!!!
How well planned, Mr Lupin… Warm, soft, fluffy Mr. Lupin. So capable and so sweet… He could NEVER be a monster! Nobody will EVER suspect he is a monster...
As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said, ‘Leave it open, Lupin. I’d rather not witness this.’ He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turned on his heel and said, ‘Possibly no one’s warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.’
Neville went scarlet. Harry glared at Snape; it was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers.
Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows.
‘I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation,’ he said, ‘and I am sure he will perform it admirably.’
Neville’s face went, if possible, even redder. Snape’s lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.
Though Snape was still being nasty about the previous lesson - this was a HELPFUL comment more than it was a jeer at Neville.
He almost didn't say anything at all - but turned on his heel at the last second. He knows Remus was irresponsible with danger in his youth and is new to teaching. So he gives him a tip:
'Longbottom is difficult to manage. Granger is capable and trustworthy. Pair them together if you must.'
...Honestly he was basically setting Lupin up to look good.
Anything Remus said would have seemed lovely, even a terse "Yes, well, thankyou Professor. We will see about that."
...But Lupin politely and confidently spat back.
Always politely. He wasn't rude to Snape, but the meaning was clear:
'Back off, Severus. I decide what my students can handle.'
Snape's lip curled. (That's his version of a sneering little smile)
'Oh yeah? Good luck with that.'
The amount of body language these men talk through, both masters of hiding their intentions and emotions with masks - they fence with words and actions.
How could Snape snap back without seeming like he was lashing out...? Remus bullies by asserting dominance in a way that makes others seem like they're being mean to gentle widdle Wupin if they retaliate, or are being silly if they defend themselves.
Remus is desperate for his students to have confidence in him. To think of him as their sweet savior. To soothe his worries of posing a danger to them, of being rejected, of being suspected…
Snape’s lip curled. "…Then I wish you good luck, Mr. Wolf." he drawled as he left, shutting the door with a snap.
…Maybe that treads the line of what he is allowed to say.
Remus would scramble to Dumbledore's office in a panic, to get him to warn Severus not to play silly games... but he would have to do that later, in secret - away from the kids.
In the immediate - he would stammer to remind them: "Of course, Lupin means 'Wolf' in French… Snape is just making a little joke!"
But god, what a way to knock him off-balance-!
I don't think it will change how the lesson goes. If anything, Lupin will be more keen to push Neville to humiliate Snape via his Boggart.
Especially knowing he will soon be seeing Snape's lip curl in triumph as he gets told off by Dumbledore - because Remus snitched.
How humiliating, getting a 'teacher' involved. (They're little boys at heart.)
There is nothing Snape likes more than humiliating a bully.
Every time 'Boggart' is mentioned Snape has the sweet memory of seeing Lupin look so pathetic in-front of Dumbledore, his role model.
Every time a kid calls him 'Mr Wolf' as a joke... Remus will have to pretend he 'doesn't mind much', but gently insist they use his real name, please. He will know to tread carefully around Severus.
Chapter 8,
Harry is at a low point emotionally. He is having a good chat with Lupin, who seems to understand him better than other teachers.
Though, Lupin is still speaking vaguely, making allusions - much like Dumbledore.
'Sit down,’ said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. ‘I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?’
Harry looked at him. Lupin’s eyes were twinkling.
‘How did you know about that?’ Harry asked.
If it didn't say 'Lupin' you'd 100% believe Albus said that - complete with twinkling eyes and an awestruck Harry.
((This is making me wanna do a whole thing comparing how Albus and Remus act))
Anyway - In this cozy atmosphere, where Remus is enjoying being the object of Harry's awe, and not telling him he was his parents' close friend...
He was interrupted by a knock on the door.
‘Come in,’ called Lupin.
The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing.
‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’
Snape set the smoking goblet down, his eyes wandering between Harry and Lupin.
‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.
‘Fascinating,’ said Snape, without looking at it. ‘You should drink that directly, Lupin.’
‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said Lupin.
‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘If you need more.’
‘I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.’
‘Not at all,’ said Snape, but there was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. He backed out of the room, unsmiling and watchful.
Harry looked curiously at the goblet. Lupin smiled.
Aka. Severus walks into the beasts den and finds a pup.
Have you ever seen Severus act so polite? So appeasing?
So... dare I say... submissive?
Even Harry knew something was up - worried Snape was acting meek because he was trying to POISON Remus. (Only in his dreams.)
And Remus-! All smiles! Harry is looking into the goblet? SMILE!
'I was showing HARRY, who is here in my office with us RIGHT NOW, my Grindylow! ...Oh, 'my' potion? Yes, yes... how kind. Lovely. Marvelous. Please and Thankyou and GET OUT.'
Antsy. On edge. Calm twinkling eyes are now jaw-clenching smiles.
Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face.
‘Disgusting,’ he said. ‘Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you at the feast later.’
'How lovely Severus is to brew this innocent potion! I shall drink it now! Teehee, its a bit yucky~ Anyway Harry YOU SHOULD LEAVE.'
He just made the boy some tea, ready to have a heart-to-heart... and because Severus came in with his wolfsbane: screaming internally.
On any other day, with any other person, Severus would have struck his pitchfork right into his chest and turned him over like hay.
They are both defensive here. Cats circling each-other.
Severus is SO spooked due to it being close to the Full Moon, entering a private room with Remus - and now having to speak carefully because The Lad is there - he just allows Remus to be the boss 'Yes, sir - on the desk? Of course...'
He just wants to leave. No waxing gibbous werewolf temper. Adios.
...What about a Severus that see's Remus' fear of not being in control of the information in the room - of having Harry ask questions?
How about he uses his own discomfort to fuel being a little bugger?
‘Come in,’ called Lupin.
The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing.
‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’
Snape walked up to desk, his eyes curiously wandering between Harry and Lupin.
‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. 'Right here would be marvelous.' He patted the the edge of the desk furthest from Harry with his fingertips.
‘...I rather think you should drink it now.’ said Snape, ignoring it completely. ‘Your little chat can wait till you recover, surely.’
‘Yes, yes, I will-’ Lupin seemed a little flustered. His eyes darted to Harry's, and for a moment he thought he could see fear. Harry's stomach dropped a little as he peered curiously at the goblet.
‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘Since you will be needing more than this for your... particular condition-’
‘Yes, Thankyou, Severus.' Lupin spoke firmer now, cutting him off. Harry had never seen his gaze look so sharp. 'I'll take more tomorrow, then.’
There was an odd standoff between them. Snape's head tilted as he opened his hand for the goblet, but kept his distance.
The edge of Lupin's smile strained for a moment before he tipped the strange, steaming brew back and started to drink.
Harry had a mad urge to knock the goblet out of his hands.
‘Ugh... Pity sugar makes it useless...’ he almost choked taking one last hurried gulp, leaning to hand the smoking goblet over.
‘Indeed. A pity.’ said Snape, lip curling into a smug hook. There was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. 'Potter - I highly recommend you leave the Professor alone now to rest.' He turned sharply, cloak flowing behind him as he left. The smoke left a funny smell in his wake.
Harry looked to Lupin. There was so much to say he was tongue tied! Does he warn him that Snape wants his job? Does he ask about the potion? A part of him even wanted to comfort his teacher. Adults didn't usually have this much trouble with Snape...
‘Well, Harry, he is right - I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour recently. I’ll see you at the feast later.’ Lupin stood quickly, gesturing him to leave.
‘...Right,’ said Harry, putting his empty teacup down.
I think, if anything, Harry being there would have made Severus bolder. Remus, at the end of the day, can't bring himself to start fights. To refuse to drink the potion would make him look like a child.
Rather than seeming like he has a foot up on Snape he now seems a little... pathetic. Infront of the boy he wanted to impress.
Severus is cornering Remus to drain his confidence. He isn't threatening to out him - but he is speaking as if he might, keeping Remus on his toes while staying completely innocent.
He is playing Remus' game against him, and is better at it.
He has the advantage of far less to hide - and far less to prove.
Chapter 14,
This is the one where Remus and Snape have their grand sparring match about the Marauders Map, but I wanted to add something to what Snape says to Harry beforehand:
‘What did you say to me, Potter?’
‘I told you to shut up about my dad!’ Harry yelled. ‘I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my dad!’
Snape’s sallow skin had gone the colour of sour milk.
‘And did the Headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life?’ he whispered. ‘Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter’s delicate ears?’
Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know what had happened and didn’t want to admit it – but Snape seemed to have guessed the truth.
‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’
Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.
I think Snape would actually be surprised that Lupin hadn't told Harry anything about his father. That HE had told him more about James than ANYONE else had bothered to! He would have expected Harry would now know all sorts of stories where they humiliated him...
Unless maybe that was part of a deal? He doesn't talk about werewolves - Remus doesn't talk about his past...? Regardless - I don't think Snape would think it too revealing to say this:
'I suppose your new favourite teacher's painted a very different image of your father. All the better to win your precious trust.'
I think he would be confused that Harry was confused - before getting him to turn his pockets out. It would plant a seed of doubt in Harry's mind: Lupin was keeping BIG things from him.
He strode across to his fire, seized a fistful of glittering powder from a jar on the fireplace, and threw it into the flames.
‘Lupin!’ Snape called into the fire. ‘I want a word!’
Utterly bewildered, Harry stared at the fire. A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast. Seconds later, Professor Lupin was clambering out of the fireplace, brushing ash off his shabby robes.
‘You called, Severus?’ said Lupin mildly.
‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’
Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin’s face.
‘Well?’ said Snape.
Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking.
‘Well?’ said Snape again. ‘This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’
Lupin looked up and, by the merest half glance in Harry’s direction, warned him not to interrupt.
First of all: "A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast."
Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious
Severus knows that Lupin made this parchment. He recognized the nicknames. Snape is better with Dark Magic than Lupin, Harry especially suspects Snape is keen on Dark Magic - it is ridiculous to call Lupin there to inspect the map, and everyone knows it.
Snape wants to corner Lupin (for once) and get him to slip up about letting Black into the castle.
Remus, of course, puts on another mask so he doesn't react to anything - and shoots Harry an 'I've got this' glance.
Which is all very well and good for a confident Remus that's had Severus under his heel all year... But OUR Severus? The Severus that's made Remus look (and feel) wimpy?
...I think they're both going to get a shock.
‘Full of Dark Magic?’ he repeated mildly. ‘Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke-shop –’
‘Indeed?’ said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. ‘You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’
Harry didn’t understand what Snape was talking about. Nor, apparently, did Lupin.
‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’
‘No,’ said Harry quickly.
‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’
Right on cue, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.
‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonko’s – ages – ago …’
‘Well!’ said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’
To Harry - Lupin didn't seem to know what Snape was talking about. He is stunned as the teachers have their little battle - as Severus tries not to say too much, and Remus lies through his teeth about things he doesn't need to lie about.
His name is written on it. Dumbledore would know who 'Moony' is. Given the chance to defend Lupin, Harry and the Weasleys would come clean on how they got it.
But OUR Harry? He knows Lupin is keeping secrets. He cuts off conversations when he feels stressed, he stammers excuses for odd behaviour - and now Snape has suggested he knew James more intimately than just 'being friends at Hogwarts' - yet has told him nothing of note. He might be a little protective of Lupin, but he has never trusted any adult fully... and he is starting to smell the lies.
‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’
‘No,’ said Harry quickly.
‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’
'But you do, right? Professor?' Harry cut him off.
The silence was palpable. Remus' soft smile was missing at he stared back, wide-eyed. Snape was just as speechless.
He realized, with a sickening drop in his stomach, he had essentially just come to Snape's defense.
Before anyone could say anything more, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.
Harry does what Severus has done all year:
Snapped back at Remus' attempts at bullshitting.
It's Remus' fear: his student is suspicious of him.
Severus is just plain confused. He never thought James Potter's son would jump in to take his side on anything... he hasn't had anyone on his side all year, either. Not that thats unusual.
Is this history repeating? A Potter defending Severus from Remus...? Nah. Not quite.
(Not posting the original quote - because it's long. Remus says he met the mapmakers, and that they would have wanted to lure Harry out - but otherwise just tells him off like a good little teacher - leaving Harry feeling guilty.)
Harry didn’t dare look at Snape as they left his office. He, Ron and Lupin walked all the way back into the Entrance Hall before speaking. Then Harry turned to Lupin.
‘So you do know them.’ Harry asked directly. 'That's why Snape called for you. Your name is on it.'
Lupin looked pained for a moment, like he was sucking on a sherbert lemon.
‘That is correct.’ said Lupin shortly. He glanced around the empty Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. ‘I helped make the map. It was a long time ago. Last I knew of its whereabouts it was confiscated by Mr Filch.’ he said not looking any less pained about having to say it. Ron looked amazed, but Harry's expression hardened as Lupin continued. ‘I don’t want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.’
Harry was too keen for explanations to let him continue.
‘Why did you lie?’ Harry asked sharply. 'If Snape knows one of the names was you, why lie about it?'
‘Because …’ Lupin hesitated, for longer than was comfortable. ‘because... I didn't want you thinking I was suspicious.' Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly as he continued. 'Theres a dangerous man about, Harry! One who wants to lure you out of school-’
‘One of your friends.’ said Harry, correcting him - and getting more indignant. 'Is his name on the map too? What about my father?'
‘...You're quite sharp, aren't you.’ he said slowly, his smile falling as he looked at Harry more seriously than ever before. 'Yes, they are. It was a long time ago, as I said.'
'Give it back.' Harry snapped, reaching for the map - but Lupin snatched it away.
'I can’t let you have it back, Harry.'
Harry's jaw stiffened. Ron looked almost disgusted.
'You said his dad's, yeah? He has a right to it!'
‘I have a right to it too, as one of its makers!' Lupin stopped himself, as if catching that he sounded ridiculously petty. '...I covered for you, Harry - at risk to myself. You can't expect me to do it again. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’
He walked away quickly, leaving no room for a response. Harry felt far worse than he had at any point in Snape’s office.
'Sounds more like he was covering for himself...' Ron mumbled, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.
I wanted a Harry hurt by Remus' lies. Harry never quite see's his teachers bad qualities while he is at school - because he is only 13.
But if Snape being a snappy little bugger has one consequence: It's eroding Remus' projection of a confident man without secrets.
Harry can sometimes ignore things he isn't directly interested in, but he is interested in both Remus and Snape. He wouldn't miss that.
With some added defensive Ron, because Ron is a good lad.
There are many ways to spin this to be more overt, I took a very soft-handed approach that hasn't ended up changing too much.
Baseline, I think:
Remus would bend the knee to Severus more often than not.
His one true goal is to look good - and Severus' goal is to not let him do that. Snape is BETTER at these games than Remus is.
Remus has Dumbledore on his side to stop Snape from getting too loose-lipped, but we all know Snape is clever, witty, petty and vindictive. He finds ways around the rules and does his best to get information to the children that will keep them safe.
The only thing holding him back is a slight fear of Lupin.
If Remus were to confront Snape, beyond dragging him into a Dumbledore meeting, it would be a 'pretending to be nice, full of backhanded-compliments and cheeky remarks' argument in private.
In Snapes office, so Remus can leave rather than have to demand Snape leaves. Because the moment Snape actually becomes angry he would leave - with one last biting remark, so he can feel like he had the upper hand.
....Is this like.... what you wanted? I sorta fell off the deep end... I feel like I've been on some sort of bender...
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it's been a while since i interacted with the marauders fandom, (like a month or two) but one recurring theme that i saw was the drastic recon of a lot of the slytherins in that era.
i remember when your main cast in your average marauders fic was mostly gryffindors, and then a lot of the antagonists were slytherins. barty and evan were almost always villains (bullies, toxic exes, etc) and regulus was an angst device for sirius. nowadays, the main cast is split into two main friend groups, gryffindors and slytherins. most gryffindors have a slytherin they're paired with (lily and dorcas [which btw i remember when dorcas was a gryffindor], james and regulus, etc etc). the slytherins all have family issues where their parents are blood purists and they don't agree with them and it's a whole thing blah blah blah
i like that there is more diversity in where the characters come from, but there is so much nuance that is stripped of these characters to make them all get along. regulus is the number one victim of this.
i've noticed there is a desire to make the characters people like morally good. they preach about grey characters, but when it comes down to it there is always a justification for the "bad" things they do. sometimes people do bad things because they believe bad things. regulus is a bad guy. he is a death eater, he gets the dark mark and everything. a lot of people write that regulus secretly agreed with sirius the whole time, but it makes it so much more interesting if sirius and regulus's morals actually clash instead of regulus just agreeing with his parents. i personally love when sirius and regulus are close in their childhood and then it changes as they both mature and find themselves.
i think if we look at the characters realistically, regulus barty and evan would never truly get along with people like james and sirius. they're both righteous people (ESPECIALLY james) who would not tolerate blood purism. and that's interesting to explore and to write! sirius watching his brother become a complete stranger who resents him because their morals conflict is so interesting!! you don't have to take away murky morals from a character so they can make out with your fav... which leads me to my next thing.
the jegulus boom. i remember when jegulus was a crack ship and now i think it's literally up there in popularity with wolfstar. i used to ship it as a joke, and in the beginning it was cute but honestly i don't see this ever being an actually healthy relationship. again, james has very strong morals and he would not tolerate regulus being a death eater. he would also ALWAYS choose sirius and he wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who would cause sirius so much pain. there are a select few circumstances where i see them in a select few dynamics??? but i just don't see it happening.
it's sad because i feel like lily has been tossed aside for fandom's new bl ship. like i love wlw ships with all my heart but sometimes it seems like they come out of people wanting to do something with the canon female love interest. jily is such a beautiful and adorable ship, and the chemistry is honestly so much better than jegulus if i'm being honest. lily is also such an interesting character and you can still get your enemies to lovers fix out of jily. you don't need to compromise the morals of both james and regulus for your yaoi.
it always struck me as weird that these canon death eaters are suddenly heroes now, as in they never believed this shit at all and they're actually victims of their families and society and stuff. don't get me wrong, they definitely are, but it would be better if it wasn't just "i always thought this is wrong and i'm the rebel in my family!" people in these systems actually do get brainwashed and manipulated, and they do believe these things wholeheartedly.
i understand the whole thing with marauders is that there is no canon and you can do whatever you want, but sometimes the characters are just so flat. regulus is interesting to me because he was a bad person but he ultimately chose to sacrifice himself for something good. there's also the issue with changing the characters to the point where they're completely unrecognizable from canon. jkr is a shit writer, but that doesn't change the fact that james has been repeatedly described in canon as a righteous man with incredibly strong beliefs. he may have been a little shit, but never to the point where he would date a death eater. he literally pantsed one upside down and washed their mouth out with soap.
i'm also not saying the old fics were better. there used to be a LOTTT of inconsistency with the characterization of a lot of side characters like dorcas and mary and marlene. i love that the new fandom has given these characters a chance to shine. (well, the male ones at least...) i'm also also not saying that the slytherins should be just bad guys again. i feel like we've flopped from making them total assholes to angels that rebel a little bit.
i could honestly talk about the issues within the marauders fandom for literal hours, but the slytherins are something that has bothered me for a while now. don't be scared to make your skrunklies evil, they don't even have to be evil the whole time you can give them a killer redemption arc 👍
#this is messy i wrote it at midnight and i'm sick#we need to talk more about how everyone has done lily so dirty#ship who you want but objectively jily is better than jegulus idc#lily and james have more chemistry in their pinky toes than james and regulus do#harry potter#marauders#james potter#sirius black#lily evans#regulus black#anti jegulus
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Darling Simon, here are some fic writing questions! Curious about 2, 7 and/or 8, and 4/37?
Wish you a fabulous Friday!
Hey there W, thank you so much for asking me all of these! :) And I'm sorry for waiting with answering until it's not even Friday anymore ahhh, but I hope you had a good one! 💜💜💜
2: Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Oh sooooooo many!!!!! I really wanna write some classic enemies to lovers sometime and OH okay, this is probably highly specific, but I cooked up this AU idea with @sillylittleflower once and like one of the things that me wanna write it the most is the fact that I could include a good old tending to the wounds of someone and getting very close to them in process scene in it. Scenes like that are 100/10 and I will not rest until I've been able to write at least one!!!!
7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
God... the way I always forget everything immediately after I post it. But hmmm, something I REALLY enjoyed writing is this in Never Letting You Go:
Him on his knees to worship Simon, to offer him everything he has. To spell his veneration out, rededicate this space, make it into a temple for them and their love. To fill the air around them with the sounds of his sweet and breathy prayer.
Wilhelm nuzzles his nose along the patch of hair and smiles to himself.
If anyone dares to intrude on this moment that feels so fucking holy, well, let them see.
Because listen... something about using religious imagery to write about gay stuff? Idk, that's just a personal favorite of mine. Oh and I love the entire scene that this is taken out of because it's something I hadn't planned, it just sort of came to me and I love that I was able to take this very compromising position, but then not do what's most likely expected and instead make it into this sweet little break in between the sex, idk? I love writing not-always-so-linear sex scenes in case you hadn't noticed, lol.
8: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
I've recently been trying (and really enjoying!) to write more dialogue-heavy stuff, and I had soooo much fun with EVERYTHING in Lavender Haze, but especially some of the not-so-smoot flirting:
“I uh, I don’t,” he’s stumbling over the words, still not taking his eyes off Simon. “I can’t dance, really.”
“Oh, don't they teach you stuff like that at… royal school?” Simon shoots back, a challenging glint in his eyes that honest to god makes Wilhelm's knee buckle.
Wilhelm winces dramatically.
“Don't fucking remind me… I can give you a really unsexy waltz if that's what you want.”
The laughter bubbling from Simon's throat is worth all the embarrassment Wilhelm feels at the memory of tripping over his own feet at some function.
“Okay, new question: is there such a thing as a sexy waltz?” Simon asks and Wilhelm snorts.
“Clumsy waltz, then?” Wilhelm tries and can’t quite fight the fluttering inside his chest at the way Simon is shaking his head at him playfully.
4: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?
Oh god... too many for someone that should focus on getting one thing out at a time. But it's also kinda cool, because back in October I thought I'd never be able to come up with an original fic idea (as in, not taking something from canon) ever again.
Okay, I counted about 11 that I have traces of in my Google docs, some of them already have a bunch of actual writing to them, some just have outlines, but I love all of them and hope to get to them at one point of the other <3
37: Talk about your current wips.
Oh my goooood, I could talk for HOURS about them, this is too much ahhhh. Well, my most current WIP is a Sequel to my beloved Lavender Haze, which has Wille dealing with the aftermath of his hook-up (and maaaaaaybe, love at first sight situation, but who's to say) with Simon. I'm having a lot of fun with including other characters for once, like Felice, her gf, Maddie, Rosh and just trying my hand at something AU for once :)
And well... my vampire AU....... beloved...... beautiful......... when will I do her the honors of finally writing that first chapter instead of literally everything that comes after!?!?!?
And then I have a bunch of other ideas that I bother @sillylittleflower with 24/7 because they don't wanna leave my head, one of them, very, veeeeeery beloved is a photography student AU, hopefully strangers to friends to lovers and very, very soft and! which is new for me! Simon POV!
Please ask me some fun fic writer asks <3
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a marriage of convenience, part 1
pairing: (eventual) pero tovar x f!reader
WC: 2.5k
warnings: angst, abusive family, enemies to lovers (HEAVY on the enemies part), slow burn, period-typical sexism, pero tovar is grumpy
summary: a strange man encounters you in a rather, compromising position in the forest. pero arrives with william to a new town and a new home, if only for a little while.
a/n: heyyyyy so I’ve had this idea in my head for over a year and finally decided to say fuck it and write the damn thing. I KNOW I’m not done with sunshine state yet, but we’re in the homestretch ! this one will not be updated as regularly until I’m done with sunshine state, but for now: here is my little pero tovar, enemies to lovers, medieval fic 🫶🏻
PART ONE
You blamed Lisbeth, to begin with.
If it hadn't been for her, you wouldn’t even be in this situation. You’d be at home, in front of the hearth braiding your little sister’s hair or helping your mother herd the boys inside for supper.
You wouldn't be here; half naked and soaking wet in your shift with a strange, wild man ogling you.
Looking at him, the first thing that came to your mind was that he looked crazed. In a way, he reminded you of an animal, poised half behind the tree he’d just emerged from.
In truth, you wouldn’t have even known he was a man were it not for the fact that his crazed, dark eyes were staring into yours. Beside those two eyes that stared out from the bush of a straggled, long beard, and wild hair overgrown and tangled with twigs, he seemed more beast than man. The man was wearing armor, dusty and dirty, caked with what seemed like months of difficult travel. His hair was dark and dirty, though not nearly as dark as his eyes.
He towered over you, and he was broad. Not in an appealing way, but in a way that made your heart sink. Though you were fast, and strong enough, you knew you’d be no match for this man if he decided to advance on you.
Mentally, you cursed yourself for not heeding your mother’s warnings to not wander the forest alone. You also cursed yourself for accepting Lisbeth’s dare to take a swim in the river.
The two of you were meant to be foraging, collecting herbs and berries for your mothers. It was high summer, and the forest was bearing its fruit earlier than most of the crops in the fields did. The day was hot, though, and even your light day dress felt too heavy and sweltering in the summer air. Hence, the impromptu swim.
Lisbeth couldn’t be too far off, but for now, she was nowhere to be seen. And you were alone, in a compromising position with a brutish man.
Your feet dug into the mossy rocks below you, threatening to slide off. You dig in your heels, raising your chin, never breaking eye-contact with the man in front of you. He had a scar bisecting his left eye, and your gaze wavered there.
“I will scream,” you said, cursing your voice for faltering. “If you touch me, I will scream, and my husband will come for me.”
He stared at you, eyes unreadable.
It wasn’t true, of course; You had no husband. You were unmarried, much to your older brother’s chagrin, despite your being well into your child-bearing years.
At twenty, it was unusual but not unheard of for you to remain a maiden, living in your father’s house. While most men in the village were eager to sell their daughters off to worthy suitors like cattle, your father was of a different mind. He wanted you to be happy, and would not force you to wed against your wishes. If your older brother had his way, though, you would have been wed after your first blood. He was cruel.
“He is nearby, and will come when he hears my alarm.” You continued. The man narrowed his eyes at you, before turning on his heel and barrelling off through the trees.
For a moment, you just stood there, baffled. You waited to see if he truly had gone, before letting out a sigh of relief.
As your shoulders relaxed, your legs wobbled, your feet sliding on the slick stones beneath them. You gasped before your whole body became engulfed by the chilled rush of the stream as you fell.
When you emerged, it was laughing you heard. Lisbeth’s laughing. You looked up to see your companion, nearly doubled over and clutching her stomach as she laughed. Her normally auburn hair glowed like fire in the afternoon sun. You glared at her.
“Enjoying yourself, are you?” You asked, standing. You rang out the end of your shift, trying to rid it of as much water as possible. You brushed a strand of wet hair from your forehead.
“Oh, yes,” Lisbeth smiled, setting her basket down by her feet. Green sprigs of leaves and herbs were bursting over the woven edges. She had gathered more than you, per usual. She was more task focused than you were, with your head in the clouds all the time.
“That was the most amusing thing I’ve seen all week,” she continued, raising an eyebrow at you. You returned her amusing glare.
“I’m glad my distress amuses you.” You said, pulling your homespun, berry-colored dress over your head. As you laced up the front, you bristled at the feeling of the dampness of your shift against the dry fabric. Still, you were too impatient to wait for it to dry. Your mother would be looking for you by now, and the last thing you needed was another reason for your elder brother to single you out. As if sensing the change in your thoughts, Lisbeth stiffened.
“Are those new?” She asked, voice clipped. You were confused as you turned to look at her, but her gaze was trained on your wrists. Your eyes met hers.
“Yes.” you said, bending over to pick up your own basket, only half-full of the things your mother requested. “He was drunk.”
“You cannot keep letting him do this,” she sighed as you came to stand in front of her, she grabbed your hands in that gentle way she always had, turning them over to examine the purple and red bruises.
Your brother had given them to you the night before when he’d returned from the tavern and there was no supper warmed for him. The rest of your family had been asleep while you had stayed up to get some mending done by the fire. It was ugly, as it always was. And though you had pushed him away and he stumbled up to his bed, you weren’t always so lucky. When he got really angry, really uncontrollable, there was little you could do without endangering yourself. You hated that Lisbeth couldn’t see that.
“And what do you suppose I do?” You all but snapped at her. “It isn’t as if I can trouble my father with it. He can barely walk, let alone discipline him. And my mother–”
“I know,” she said, linking her arm with yours as the two of you set down the path you’d come. “I’m sorry. I just hate seeing him do this to you.”
You scoffed.
“I hit him back, you know.” You countered, shoving her shoulder.
“Not enough.” She added gravely.
Deep down, you knew she was right. You could hit your brother harder, give him the bruises he gave you tenfold, but you were terrified of what would happen to you if you did.
Of your five siblings, Petyr was the oldest and by far the most hot-headed. Second only to you, your mother would say. But you knew the truth. While you would never turn your hand against another in your anger, Petyr would. It had begun around the time he approached manhood. The two of you had never gotten along as children; you always saw him as a ninny, and he saw you as a nuisance. But, he’d never put his hands on you until after his fifteenth name day. It had begun as nudges and pushes. A firm grasp here and there. Recently, it had gotten worse.
You’d tried to bring his abuse forward to your mother only once, and she’d sent you away in a huff, telling you that “we don’t speak of such things.” Besides, she was too forlorn over your father’s ailing health to really care about much else.
Really, you longed to escape from your village. From him. It was less a village than a bustling town. It was big enough that there were streets and alleyways, inns and outskirts, but not big enough to be a destination of travel. In reality, it served as a bit of a trading port, a place for people to pass through, but never to stay.
You’d grown up conversing with the traders and travelers who would come to your father’s blacksmith shop for repairs on their journeys. They’d tell you stories of the silk road of the East, the regality of the courts of the West, the wild, cold lands to the North, and the mighty continent to the South. You longed to see them, to have nothing but the wind at your back and the road rising up to meet you. You knew, even as a girl, that it was a dream. An improbability. Still it didn’t stop you from dreaming of adventure.
“Did you see a man come through here?” you asked Lisbeth, eager to change the subject from your brother. She furrowed her brows and turned to you.
“A man?” she looked taken aback. “I should hope not. What man?”
“He looked more beast than man, in truth.” You admitted, the light seeming jewel-colored shining through the trees on the path. “He gave me a fright while I was in the river. I thought he was going to attack me, but he just stared and turned around.”
Lisbeth looked alarmed as she grasped your arm tighter, steps growing more brisk.
“We should hurry, then.” she said, looking warily back and forth through the trees. “Any man this far into the woods at this time will be up to no good.”
You nodded in agreement, mind wandering back to the man you’d seen.
He’d looked strange, foreign even; from the way he was dressed to his features. It was his eyes that stuck in your mind the most. The dark color, the scar across one of them. You felt a gnawing sensation in your stomach as you remembered the way he looked at you, his expression wild. The way his eyes had raked over your figure, dressed only in your shift. He’d looked like a cornered animal. It made your heart stir in a way that both scared and excited you at the same time.
You shook such impure thoughts from your head. It was improper. Besides, you doubted you’d ever see the man again. He was probably a rogue, simply passing through on his way to a bigger and better place as most did. Your town was unremarkable to most, and few stayed more than a fortnight before continuing on their travels. Nothing ever happened here, and you suspected that nothing ever would.
****
Pero’s mind could not be rid of the image of the girl as he walked back the way he came, grumbling.
He and William had been traveling on horseback for the better part of a month, eager to get to the home of the relatives he claimed to have nearby. Relatives that Pero was beginning to doubt even existed. A month ago, they’d stayed in an inn, but since, they’d been sleeping on the ground, out in the open. Pero was tired, and cranky. More so than usual. He glared at his companion’s cheery disposition as he approached where he was tending to the horses.
“Did you find water?” William asked, hair just as straggly and outgrown as his own.
Pero shook his head, grunting negatively.
“Huh,” William titled his head. “I could have sworn there was a river close by. I remember these woods from when I was a child, surely–”
“It was otherwise occupied, amigo.” Pero mounted his horse, using the term loosely. William mounted his own horse.
“Otherwise occupied?” he asked, kicking his horse to catch up with Pero, who had continued along the path without regard for William. “Don’t be daft.”
“The river is taken, Garin. Drop it.”
“Very well,” William resigned. Pero didn’t know why he couldn’t leave well enough alone in the beginning. “You’re less cheery than usual.”
Pero threw him a glare over his shoulder, and William just laughed.
Months on the road from their last bout in Sicily had made him too familiar, Pero thought. Just because Pero disliked the blonde man less than he did most, did not mean that they were friends. Acquaintances, definitely. Colleagues, yes. Friends? Pero frowned. He supposed that out of anyone in the world, William was the closest thing he had to a friend. And still, the term felt too familiar. He ignored the tug at his chest at the thought. Instead, he turned his head to William, who had caught up to Pero’s pace.
“Your women have queer customs here,” he said gruffly. William gave him a puzzled look.
“Have we encountered many women on our journey here to my mother’s country that I have not noticed?” William asked sarcastically. Pero glared again.
“At the river.” He clarified dryly. “Is it customary here to wade in streams dressed in only your smallclothes?”
At that, William snorted.
“It’s not a custom that I’m familiar with.”
Pero hummed, crossing the treeline as he and William came to a clearing on a hill, overlooking a bustling village. The most civilization they’d seen in a month.
“Well, whoever she was must have been quite a woman indeed,” William shot him a lazy smile. “Perhaps the customs of my home have changed some since I left.”
“This was the home of your mother?” Pero asked him, gazing upon the city below. William nodded.
“We came here from Ireland after my father died.” He said, voice lacking its usual jubilance. “I left nearly ten years ago, after she died. Shortly before taking up my sword.”
“And you have not seen your uncle since then?” Pero questioned, skeptical of this arrangement that William had sworn would work. William grinned at him.
“No, I have not. Though, I am anxious to. My cousins will be children grown by now. Married, perhaps. I grieve that I have missed so much. I should have returned years ago.”
Pero’s heart panged at the fondness with which William spoke of his family. His own mother’s eyes passed before his mind. His sister’s laugh, his niece’s face. It had been nearly two decades since he’d been back to Castile. He doubted they would recognize him, with how the life of a mercenary had hardened him. He thought of the scar that marred his face and scowled, bristling.
“And what makes you think they will accept you back?” He asked, perhaps a bit sharper than he intended. “You have left them for so long.”
William only looked at him with something akin to pity, which made Pero angrier than any sarcastic comment could have. William turned back to the town, clicking his heels to his horse to begin down the hill, toward the place he once called home.
“They are my family,” he said plainly. “No amount of time can change that.”
Pero’s brows furrowed, and as he trailed after his companion, he wondered, if only for a moment, what it would be like to belong to someone.
#pedro pascal#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pero tovar#pero tovar x f!reader#pero tovar x female reader#pero tovar x you#pero tovar fanfiction#pero tovar imagine#pero tovar x reader#pero x reader#the great wall fanfic#the great wall fanfiction#mi amorcito pero tovar
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Look I’m sorry I completely understand anons trying to put excuses to get to the ‘lovers’ part in the enemies to lovers, but if I was birdy, and this man completely destroyed my face forever, put me in a coma, took my job, gave me nightmares and ptsd, compromised my reputation, and fucked up my brain forever, I wouldn’t really give three shits if he was ordered to do that to me or not, I’d simply want him gone painfully. Maybe I’m just like that, but I agree totally with a slow SLOW building of the lovers part. Because even if it was not konigs fault, a normal person in the circumstances that birdy has been put through wouldn’t forgive him easily at all
Yesssss this is precisely why our little Bird is very very traumatised and very very much not in love with König at the moment.
There's a lot of us just spitballing ideas and doing some back and forth brain storming I wouldn't look too much into what's happening in the ask box my friend :)
I can say that this will be a slow burn. Unfortunately there's gotta be SOME give because I'm not writing a 50 chapter fic but it should all be realistic.
Also it's important to note that a normal person wouldn't ever forgive however a normal person also doesn't get shot or kill people on a near daily basis.
Birdy isn't normal, my friend.
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OMG!!! I'm so frustrated! It's… ugh!!!!! So mad! ''New in Town'' was supposed to be a piece of cake, you know, the kind of story I don't obsess with. I already have Yearling for that. I guess it's not like that anymore, and I love it!😍 I was smiling as soon as I saw the update. The kind of smile it's so big it hurts. LOL. The whole smut stuff was sooooo hot, the bathroom, and don't get me on the sundress scene. And it's also so sweet, I mean, the candy! And the sticky note and the latte in the fridge! They are so gone on each other! It would be sickening if it wasn't so well written. But let's get into the big deal, Who is the new character? One of the reader's past boyfriends? Does that mean we'll see some feral Joel?😱
Any tips on how Sarah'll know the truth? Are you more into her caching them in some compromising position? Or maybe she finds some incriminating photos? Or are you more into them talking to Sarah like adults? Not as fun, but still plausible.
I haven't forgotten about ''Loathe/Lust''. I haven't been able to read it until today. I like this snarky reader. Despite being a one-shot, their relationship progress doesn't feel rushed. The way they bicker while taking care of each other, wounds or pleasure, is fun to read. Have you thought of doing a second chapter?
I hope I'm not being annoying. I didn't have much luck in the past trying to share my love for fanfiction, and here, there are a lot of people with the same or even more passion than me, and I might be a little too excited about it. Tell me, if I need to tone it down, no problem!♥️
AHHH hi Bestie!!!!
Lol yeah you know me, gotta work in SOME angst here and there. As a treat 🫠 Don’t worry too much, the mystery won’t be drawn out very long! I will say this, the next chapter will probably be entirely from Joel’s perspective (maybe a smidge from reader’s but probably all Joel.) New in Town is also halfway done! It’s not going to be a terribly long fic and will be wrapped by Halloween. I’ll also say that Sarah is going to find out in an… interesting way. It’ll be fun, promise.
I’m so glad you liked Loathe/Lust! I may do another chapter or at least some drabbles with that couple. I think they’re fun and I gave them a TON of backstory because I felt like they needed some to make the set up work lol the request was for enemies to lovers but there needs to be a reason for an enemy of Joel’s to live (because he will just kill people) and I think I made it work?
Bestie, darling, dear. You are so far from annoying lol I LOVE this stuff!! I wanna talk about these fics all the time and you’re giving me a great outlet so thank you!!
And thank you for reading and for being here and for reaching out, it means so much. Love you!!
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I, J & M for the Fanfic Ask Meme! :)
Fanfic Ask Meme
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
For writing, Hurt/Comfort I guess. I love writing it, to the point where my fics go from 500 words to 2000+ of just two people talking about their feelings and getting all sappy about it XD. I chop a lot out but even then the fics end up being longer than I planned!! For reading, it's the Enemies-to-Lovers and Grumpy one x Sunshine one tropes (just look at some of the ships I reblog content for).
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
The first to come to mind was Our Days in the Junrinan. Originally, I was going to end it with Hitsugaya finding Hinamori after her meeting with the Women's Association and trying to act like the article didn't affect him as much as it actually did. Momo would be nervous as she didn't realise the majority of what she recounted would actually make it to the final edition. Eventually, Toshiro teases that she called him by his title more times in that one interview than she had to his face. Afterwards, he expresses his appreciation for the kind things she said, but also berates her for a few embarrassing things she recounted about their childhood together. Momo takes it in stride however, and congratulates him on his edition of the Seireitei Communication.
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
I have a few, and they include:
Set during the 10-year timeskip. Toshiro is neck deep in trying to rebuild sections of Soul Society. He's starting to suffer burn out and continues to have the occasional nightmare about his time as a zombie. Momo sees the toll everything is taking on him and convinces him to come walk a mountain with her to help with a task. It's similar to It's Been a While, except this time it's Toshiro getting angsty about how the war went and how long it's taking for construction to finish. I already have a few scenes planned for this one, including a moment set almost immediately after Yhwach defeat where Toshiro walks among the ruins of the Soul Society and finds something that makes him realise just how many lives were lost in the conflict.
Yet another 'Momo reacts to the Completed Form' fic (seriously, I keep coming back to this scenario! I'm becoming a broken record! XD), in which she briefly gets involved in the fight against Gerard before retreating with Shinji.
A fic about Toshiro's captaincy. This one would likely end up being a long one, as I'd want to take a look from the beginning up until he's sent to the World of the Living, or maybe even until after the 10 year timeskip. I'd mainly explore his anxieties about the job, coping with the sudden disappearance of Isshin, him and Rangiku having to work together in a different way than before, how he gets everyone to see him as an authority figure, and how his relationship with Hinamori and his friends changes. A few scenes I already have in mind are: getting the haori and putting it on for the first time before going to his official appointment as captain of the Tenth Division; in a bid to appear more authoritative and less childish, asking Hinamori to not hug him or call him 'Shiro-chan' anymore, but realising too late that this hurt her feelings and he tries to come up with a compromise, and him seeing Isshin for the first time in decades while he's stationed in the World of the Living.
A fic about Shinji and Toshiro having to complete a task together. I don't have a specific idea for this one, but I really enjoyed writing their section of As Months Go By, As Seasons Change, so I 'd like to write more of their dynamic.
Thanks for sending this in! :D
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Oh I agree so much w ur rant. Like I do not understand fics that make the person a literally demon. Like I can’t w yandere fics bc they just make me so uncomfortable. I just wanna read abt Eddie my love not him being a literal manipulative asshole 😭
Like my definition of enemies to lovers is yea they might fight in the beginning, but there's always a mutual respect there. It's that thin line between love and hate, and then realizing they never actually hated each other at all, they just never really knew them.
There was one Eddie enemies to lovers fic I read where he was SUCH A DICK!!!! They literally made him into Billy 2.0, like on what planet???? He is canonically very respectful to women, and only dishes out to people who give it to him first. Like yea he's a bit fiery with DnD and a bit unreasonable at times with compromising campaigns, but overall he's the farthest thing from a douchebag. It was sooooooo out of character!!!
Same thing with Steve. I understand anything that takes place pre season 1, because he was kind of a tool before, but anything after that is nonsense. Even still, the worst thing Steve ever did was what he said to Jonathan about his family and shit during the fight. That I admit was out of pocket, but he apologized and has been an actual SAINT since then!!! (I'm not getting into the Nancy the Slut discourse, that was also extremely uncool but since he didn't actually spray paint it himself, cleaned it up very quickly, immediately dropped his asshole friends, and apologized I give him points. It was the 80s, toxic masculinity was HUGE!!!)
Overall, just very annoying. I don't like it at all. I will never bash someone's writing because it's not my cup of tea, but please, for the love of god, properly summarize and tag your shit I'm begging!!!
#ask#me#also agreed with yandere shit#it literally grosses me out so much#it's one thing where the yandere is obviously a villain and none of that shit is okay#and they make it clear that it's fucked up and they don't get a redemption arc/make excuses for the behavior#it's another to romanticize what is essentially abuse#don't fuck with that AT ALL
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ohohooo 🥺✨🤗✅ for the fanfic writer emoji ask meme if I may, please and thank you xoxo
🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?
Absolutely, yes. So a lot of to-do is made about that “italicized oh” moment, but usually when people refer to that it’s “the moment where shipmates realize their feelings are reciprocated”. Now I’m not really about that, but feel like one moment I always find super satisfying is kind of similar with respect to emotional punch.
My favorite character arc is enemies with benefits to lovers– and I feel like the equivalent oh moment is both a combination of “we’re in this fucking deep and there’s no looking away from it just being (hate)sex anymore” – but it’s more than that because I really like when (a) the stakes are deeply interpersonal and (b) the characters realize that they themselves have to…change a little bit, despite the unconditional acceptance they are being offered.
In short– they are in love, and love requires compromise– but I love the moment where they realize they need to find that compromise and they want to offer change in order for things to be a bit gentler for their lover.
This moment is always at the middle point of my fics, by the way. The Chapter 3 moment. You being familiar with Sighted Crows especially will recognize the frostbite scene, that moment of “she was right, she’s always right” // “Do you know how I knew I cared about Sue? I don’t like seeing her in pain. Never have.”
I like it most of all when the shipmates reckon very deeply with the mess they are in, and then realize they have to step up and try to disentangle it. Delightfully, I just wrote that scene for you got fuck all clue what the work really is; which was a real treat.
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
I’m feeling all kinds of ways about my wrestling research in the writing lately, so I’ll pat myself on the back for that <3 getting to learn a ton about an art form I really care a lot about while also spinning silly lil narratives has been so good. A friend recently complimented my use of recontextualized finisher moments in fuck all clue, and I really appreciated that and felt the work deserved it <3
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
Oh, I feel like you really said a lot of my favourite things!! I think for myself I would add that while finding your voice can be a really satisfying thing, you don’t have to write a Unique Thing(™) (™) always. It’ll be unique just by virtue of the fact that you’re writing it. Treasure that. Also, as a corollary to your “don’t compare yourself to others” (which is excellent advice!)-- try not to compare yourself to your past writing, or meet your past and present self with compassion if you do. If your writing before was “”worse””, celebrate that you’ve gotten better and be kind about the fact that that was your best then. If your writing is “”worse”” now, take a gentle look at your goals and capacities now vs. then and be gentle with judging yourself. Your writing is where it is. It’s good to have goals but always be kind, especially with you.
✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?
Never over a good “meaningfully provided hot liquids” scene, I think. Platonic or romantic :”)
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frat cake frat cake frat cake is now on repeat in my brain, pls elaborate
dude it's on repeat in my brain too i'm pretty sure i have a #frat cake tag it just haunts me
okay i feel like i'm free to talk about this mainly because uhhmmmm i don't. foresee myself working on it in the near future. so i'll tell you what i have written at the top of this doc, which is the basic concept i had for it i guess:
calum and luke hook up during formal rush when they’re both checking out one frat house and calum is sure luke is going to join that frat. but then they get bids from different frats and both accept and suddenly they’re enemies.
also, i'm pretty sure this AU involves frat rilex as well. alex is the president of frat A that calum joins and rian figures in somewhere. potentially the president of frat B? OH I FOUND IT it was a conversation in the atl channel of the club back in march basically the idea that maybe people in frats have bigs & littles (yknow like. pairing an older member with a new member. or brother? whatever they're called) and so alex is calum's big and rian is luke's big and then we end up with this plot
and to be completely transparent, the odds i write this fic become astronomically higher when i figure rilex into the equation, so. let's not give up hope yet
#this is also like. my compromise for an enemies to lovers fic#because i want to see if i can write one but this is as much as i can do#i just can't justify any other kind#apart from a romeo and juliet situation#but i think it would be funny if they did end up in enemy frats#anyway. so that's frat cake#i am accepting (a) notes or (b) people with frat experience who can help#i did so much research one night and then didnt even fuckin write anything#the doc has literally less than a thousand words#this is making me wanna work on it kind of#but last time i found a long-untouched doc with less than a thousand words it turned into so damn familiar#LMAO#ask#anonymous#fic talk#frat cake
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Anna's December Fic Recs
Welcome to my December fic recommendations masterpost!! Can't believe that 2021 is over 😵 This year's been filled with so much talent and so many incredible stories 💙 I am so thankful for the joy and comfort the wonderful writers have brought me these past months. You are always there when I need something to make me feel better and I could never repay you for that. I adore you all 💙 I wish you all a happy new year, may 2022 be the best year of your lives!
To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!
To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.
Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!
MARVEL
🎄Steve Rogers🎄
the most beautiful work of art by @melwilson
one-shot, this made me feel so many things, wow just wow
ready when you are by @bloomingbucky
one-shot, 18+, baby making with husband!steve, i mean 😫😫😫
stay (i'll keep you warm) by @/anika-ann
one-shot, part of the attached universe, my babies are on their honeymoon and i'm 🥰🥰 but also 🥵
date night by @musingsinmoonlight
one-shot, 18+, Suz is back again with delicious wonderful stories and it's so badass of her 👌 love that for us
unspoken by @/musingsinmoonlight
one-shot, black widow!reader, see above 👆
🎄Sam Wilson🎄
surprise by @/musingsinmoonlight
one-shot, sam 'boyfriend of the year' surprises reader at work and i desperately want to be her
a christmas miracle by @bvckysmoon
one-shot, college!sam, he's the most charming guy to ever exist
3 am kisses by @beelicious-barnes
one-shot, i want sam to give me all the kisses 🥺
time for love by @19ana45
one-shot, this fic makes me go AHHHHHHHHHHH
a promised present by @moonlight-prose
one-shot, i am a human embodiment of the heart eyes emoji after reading this fic
🎄Bucky Barnes🎄
cruel summer by @perpetuelledaydreaming
one-shot, friends with benefits, angst!!! ugh so good
maybe in another life by @heavenlybarnes
one-shot, bucky's putting back together the piecese steve's left you in, so beautiful!
fields are painted gold by @nexusnyx
one-shot, husband!bucky, satruday morning, i'm in heaven. Nyx had blessed us with so many wonderful stories this month (and in general), please check them all out, this girl has some real talent
stolen comforts by @bonkywobble
one-shot, hi i'm anna and i'm a slut for husband!bucky
the match by @babyboibucky
series, ceo!bucky, it started out with a kiss tinder match, how did it end up like this??? i was losing voice and hair over this story but it's just so good. read it, just do it
a kiss in central park by @bwhitewolfbarnes
one-shot, i want to get bucky kisses too 🥺
the christmas party by @buckyhoney
one-shot, 18+, turns out office parties don't have to be boring 😈
listen to me, not just my words by @bloomingbucky
one-shot, 18+, best friend!bucky x avenger!reader, friends to lovers, miscommunication, just phenomenal 🙌
paper airplanes I coffee for the soul by @/moonlight-prose
one-shot, great fic!
making up for lost time by @sweetdreamsbuck
one-shot, this will make you melt like ice cream on the hottest day of summer 😌
snowfall, softly by @sweetdreamsbuck
one-shot, beefy!lumberjack!bucky, i am just so in love with this one
parent-teacher conference by @coffeecatsandcandles
series, teacher!reader x widowed dad!bucky, enemies to lovers, so amazing!!!!!
delicate edges by @wkemeup
series, biker!bucky x florist!reader, another extraordinary story from Cas, you really need to read this one!
compromises by @/kinanabinks
one-shot, lumberjack!bucky, exes to lovers, john walker can go to hell 💁♀️
eyes on the screen by @kinanabinks
one-shot, best friend!roommate!bucky, best friends to lovers, very cute shit 👌
🎄Shang-Chi🎄
buns & mistletoe by @buckybleu
one-shot, beefy!lumberjack!shang-chi x baker!reader, he's calling her bunny, i am dead 😫
🎄Joaquin Torres🎄
nadie más que tú by @xbuchananbarnes
one-shot, friends to lovers, fake-dating, idiots in love. if that wasn't enough for you then just know that Dani + Joaco = 🥰🥰🥰🥰. she is the #1 torres writer and you can't change my mind
🎄Peter Parker🎄
old scarf by @peterbenjiparker
one-shot, this one is gonna break your heart :') (but go and read it anyway)
interrupted by @starrysoftie
one-shot, tasm!peter, friends to lovers, i love this format so much and this story was just so cute!!
under the weather by @cocoamoonmalfoy
one-shot, fluffy times with boyfriend!pete 🥰
it's all coming back to me now by @siempre-bucky
one-shot, based on no way home, named after the greatest song of all time, we love to see it
turning page and sweater weather by @clints-lucky-arrow
two-shot, tasm!peter, neighbour!reader, so lovely 🥺
perfume by @devotion
one-shot, your honor, i love them
that time of year by @vendettaparker
one-shot, stark!reader, heartbreaking at times but also so lovely!
band-aids and birkins by @aniqua
one-shot, bimbo!wealthy!reader, uni au, loved this!
now and forever by @ptersmj
one-shot, pillowtalk about your future with pete 🥺
this fic by @/ptersmj
one-shot, taking care of a sick baby peter, it's exactly as cute as it sounds
HOLLAND & CO.
🎄Tom Holland🎄
monthlies by @t-lostinworlds
one-shot, boyfriend!tom is a gem 🙌
ken-doll by @vendettaparker
one-shot, 18+, healer!reader 😂 such a fun fic 😂
we could call it even by @wazzupmrstark
one-shot, 18+, ex best friends to lovers, i've been listening exclusively to 'tis the damn season for the last 3 weeks so naturally i love this story
saudade by @celestialholland
one-shot, exes to lovers, oh oh tom made a fucky wucky 👀
crashing by @softholand
one-shot, enemies to lovers, getting locked in a bathroom and making bets with frat!tom 😌
married the wrong man by @farfromharry
one-shot, reader's making a big big mistake, will she be able to fix it? best friend!tom
sugaer cookie kisses by @/farfromharry
one-shot, dad!tom x baker!reader, such a lovely story 💙💙
denim jacket by @saturnpeter
one-shot, this story will have you completely smitten!
🎄Harrison Osterfield🎄
missing piece by @/softholand
one-shot, barista!reader, haz being the most adorable thing in the whole entire world 🥺
🎄Harry Holland🎄
pleasure exchange by @/softholand
one-shot, 18+, rich kid!harry x rich kid!reader, enemies to lovers, do i need to say more? 🥵
OTHERS
900 celebration by @violetlilysunshine
collection of fics with tom holland, harry holland and chris evans, these are all great ❤
2k followes celebration by @rodrikstark
collection of headcannons with lots of great character, love all of them with everything i have🥰
🎄Barry Keoghan🎄
in agreement by @greenorangevioletgrass
one-shot, 18+, actress!reader, i am so head over heels for this fic it's kinda insane but like, how am i supposed to be calm about anything that Ava does? READ IT!!!
🎄Chris Beck🎄
dorothea by @/starbuckie
one-shot, exes to lovers, beautiful work 🥺
home with his starshine by @starbuckie
one-shot, college!au, holiday fluff 💙
🎄Dramione🎄
stupidity or serenity by @/real-jane
series, it's a christams fic, i love it with every single cell of my body. Kate is a god tier writer and i stan real hard!
relentless by @/real-jane
series, takes place at their last year at hogwarts, see above
he shouldn't but he does by @real-jane
one-shot, this is so beautiful, just like all Kate's works. i don't have words to express how thankful i am for all this dramione content 💙
🎄Remus Lupin🎄
the christmas burnout by @starbuckie
one-shot, christmas with remus and i'm all 🥺🥰
🎄Spencer Reid🎄
home by @cloudybarnes
one-shot, such a soft fic, amazing!
🎄Colin Shea🎄
make it up to you by @secretswiftymarvelfan
one-shot, 18+, colin is so cute here, i just wanna squish his cheeks and kiss his stupid face
🎄Johnny Storm🎄
baby it's cold outside by @wiypt-writes
one-shot, 18+, getting snowed in with johnny. honestly, just thinking about this makes me want to scream
🎄Frank Adler🎄
holly jolly husband by @mjolnir-steve
one-shot, 18+, husband!frank, making babies, all the fun stuff 😌
more than a hookup by @americasass91
one-shot, 18+, uh i love this one so much
🎄Ransom Drysdale🎄
a tortuous holiday. by @inklore
one-shot, 18+, enemies to lovers, hot hot hot 🥵🥵
wonderful and warm by @the-iceni-bitch
series, 18+, celebrating one year anniversary at the thrombey family vacation, this is so so good!
🎄Ari Levinson🎄
bad news, good ideas by @anika-ann
one-shot, 18+, reader's secret santa has a very good taste 😏 i don't read for ari but this was so good, i swear i'd read terms and conditions if they were written by my love Anika 💙
#december fic rec#anna's fic recs#fic recs#marvel fic recs#bucky barnes x reader#peter parker x reader#tom holland x reader#tom holland fic recs
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