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#thinking every day about the vex and vex stuff that will go down at some point
thefirstknife · 3 months
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The Vex and the Wish
It's been a while since the finale of the Starcrossed mission and I've not stopped thinking about it. I want to talk about some of the stuff that's been on my mind, mostly about all the little hints about what we might be delving into after The Final Shape.
So, the whole premise of Starcrossed is really interesting and has been since we first heard about it. Some sort of a mission in the Black Garden? During an Ahamkara season? It immediately meant that we'll be dealing with some Ahamkara shenanigans in the Black Garden, two things that have previously not been combined. And the Ahamkara element was really good and nice and heartbreaking!
But the bigger thing that got me thinking and overthinking was all the Vex elements this season. They're kinda flying under the radar because we have bigger issues to deal with, but everything we got about them this season has been super weird and concerning. Especially the Black Garden stuff!
The Sol Divisive have been very active doing... things we don't truly understand. They've made their attempts to somehow interact with Ahamkara magic and they've been messing with Darkness as well. I'll do my best to recap all the stuff we've gotten about the Vex this season and how it relates to Starcrossed. Long post under!
The first thing that got us all thinking was of course the premise for the season in the first place; we knew that we would be dealing with Ahamkara, the Dreaming City and the Awoken, but we did not know about the Vex. That was peculiar in general because they simply haven't been mixed together with Ahamkara before. This was also really intriguing because of the reason we needed an Ahamkara in the first place: to get through the portal in the Traveler and follow the Witness. So why are the Vex (Sol Divisive) interfering?
As soon as the season started and we could look at the items, the first very interesting lore tab was Scatter Signal. In it, we have Osiris tracking some sort of a signal, locking onto it and getting a transmission in the form of hexadecimal code. When decoded, it revealed a strange message from a still unknown source, discussing the Vex:
“A churning singularity of shadow and mimicry beats again within cultivated chaos. Minds orbit its gravity, to bridge communion with a Voice, to move from parallel to entanglement. They dream of a dark core, contained within a timeless structure. A suspended return to the primordial. If not for this truth, why kneel? If not for this truth, why does it elude definition? Though not all agree on all, all agree on this. Sol is Salvation.”
We still don't really know what this message means or who sent it, but I've speculated before that it could have something to do with the Ishtar scientists, most likely Chioma or maybe even Maya and the others. I wrote about this speculation before Starcrossed was out, so now that we know how Starcrossed ended, I believe more strongly that the Ishtar team (at least their simulated copies) is somehow still out there and capable of communicating and that they're the ones who sent this message.
As for the message, now that the season is over, I believe it talks about the Black Heart (churning singularity of shadow and mimicry beats again within cultivated chaos) and the Sol Divisive's obsession with it and their belief that it could grant them some sort of knowledge or ability (possibly paracausality) or a way to return the universe to the way it was before paracausality existed (return to the primordial): this is possibly also talking about the speculative time when the Traveler and the Veil were one, a time that the Vex perhaps remember. It also warns us that while the Sol Divisive are unique in their worship of the Darkness, the Vex as a whole agree on the simple truth that whatever they want to finally achieve will be achieved in Sol, our system, because this is where they have all the necessary ingredients to do so. Whether this is understanding paracausality, resetting the universe or Convergence, we don't know.
When I wrote that speculation initially, since Starcrossed wasn't out yet, a lot of my questions were about what possible connection could there be between the Black Garden and the Ahamkara. That was the only thing we knew before the mission dropped after all. Now in retrospect, we can at least put some of the theories to rest; originally there was speculation that Riven or the Vex or both are doing something that would end up tricking us somehow. This has since been disproven; the Ahamkara in the Black Garden was Taranis who made his lair there to stay hidden and to hide his and Riven's children.
However, a very important question remains. Did the Vex know about this and did they use Taranis' residence in the Black Garden to study paracausality and Ahamkara magic? I believe they must've known about him and that they must've dedicated at least some observational resources to monitor him and his shenanigans in their space. This obviously isn't good. The Vex have been trying to understand paracausality for a very long time and we've been practically giving this information to them for almost equally as long. Taranis living within reach of the Sol Divisive probably offered them some insight into it as well and possibly also insight into Ahamkara abilities.
Sol Divisive has spent a considerable amount of time and resources trying to understand the Darkness, the Witness and the Veil. This season we've gotten confirmation that they're actively merging with Darkness and even trying to somehow fuse with the Witness. We've seen them being able to simulate techeuns, we've seen oracles appearing outside of the Vault of Glass and shaping themselves with Darkness energy, as well as tapping into Darkness in general, into memory, to enhance their predictive abilities. They spent this whole season messing with Ahamkara eggs and Riven's Lair and the Coil as Vex artifacting became more and more prominent as the weeks went on. Osiris has also noted, on several occasions, just how similar wishing magic and Vex simulations are. The second one is particularly interesting:
What is a simulation if not a machine's wish? A projection of what might be, were certain parameters to be altered.
One big problem is that while a lot of this is linked purely to the Sol Divisive and their obsession with the Darkness and the Witness, a lot of it is not. First, one very interesting thing that happened this year is that after nearly 10 years, we finally got an explanation about the Black Heart; it was the Sol Divisive's failed attempt to recreate the Veil, very likely an idea given to them directly by the Witness, to create a makeshift Veil after the original had been lost in the Collapse. A lot of the stuff in the background of this year has been about the Vex, simulations, augmented reality and the Vex attempts at understanding the Veil and paracausality at large; discussed at length in Veil Logs, most notably this one where Chioma speculates about how the Vex could potentially gain access to paracausal simulations if they gained access to the Veil.
This thing, the Veil. It’s… it’s some kind of web of consciousness. Just like the Vex network, but organic instead of artificial. It makes sense why the Vex want it. Paracausal simulations? There’d be no stopping them.
As I said, a lot of this is about the Sol Divisive, but a lot of it is not. The Vex we see on Neomuna are not Sol Divisive, for example. Scatter Signal also implies that despite the Vex at large being in disagreement with the Sol Divisive, all Vex do seem to share some basic ideas which the speaker in Scatter Signal summarises as: "Sol is Salvation." Apparently, all Vex agree on this.
To make things even stranger, here comes Starcrossed. As soon as we first saw it, it was strange because it showed us a big Vex structure in the Black Garden!
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This is the centerpiece of the whole mission and as we proceed through it, we get closer and closer to it. This is called a Citadel and it has appeared in the game before; notably, in Destiny 1, but you can now see it in Destiny 2 as well, in the first encounter of Vault of Glass. This structure is distinctly not Sol Divisive and it never has been.
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The origin and purpose of the Citadel are not entirely understood, outside of ties to the Vault of Glass. It's been on Venus since the Golden Age where it was investigated by the simulated copies of the Ishtar team:
No human being in the Ishtar Academy has ever crossed the safety cordon and walked the ancient stone under the Citadel, the Vex construct that stabs up out of the world to injure space and time.
And:
"I wonder where it came from," Duane-Mcniadh says. Of course he's the one to break the reverent silence. "The Citadel. I wonder if it was here before the Traveler changed Venus." "It could have been latent," Chioma Esi suggests. She's the leader. She kept them together when it seemed like they faced actual, eternal torture. She pulled them through. "Seeded in the crust. Waiting for a period of geological quiescence, so it could grow." Dr. Shim shrugs. "I think the Traveler did something paracausal to Venus. Something that cut across space and time. The Citadel seems to come from the past of a different Venus than our own. It doesn't have to make any sense by our logic, any more than the Moon's new gravity." Maya Sundaresh walks at the center of the group. She's been too quiet lately. What happened to them wasn't her fault and maybe she'll believe that soon. "What could you do with it?" she murmurs, staring up. "If you understood it?" Chioma puts an arm around her. "That's what we're going to find out. Where the Citadel can send us. Whether we can come back."
This is interesting to us now because a very similar construct appeared out of nowhere in the Black Garden and when we reached the end of the Starcrossed mission, we gained access to the inside of the structure. And inside, we found a single room decorated with the symbol of the Ishtar Collective made out of Vex materials.
As I've noted before in the post where I speculated about the names of the seasonal missions and the meaning of Scatter Signal and what this mission in the Black Garden could be, this whole situation brought me back to thinking about the lore book from Season of the Undying: Aspect. In it, we follow Praedyth who is eternally stuck in the Vault of Glass (incidentally, this happened to him because he wished to an Ahamkara) and who discovers the simulated Ishtar scientists and establishes communication with them.
He realises that something has changed and that he's no longer in a loop, but able to change things by talking to the Ishtar team. He and the Ishtar team develop a strategy in which the simulations are able to theorycraft and instruct Praedyth (who is physical and in a physical space) to create a way for all of them to escape their associated prisons. The team figures out together that a way out could be achieved through the Black Garden and that they would need a specific event to jumpstart their escape; this event would be the Undying Mind and its awakening which opened the gate to the Garden again, this time on the Moon. They start with Praedyth sending messages through in hope that someone, somewhen, will hear them. Soon, as the disturbances in the Black Garden get more prominent, they get the chance to not just send messages of code out, but to actually try to escape physically.
The lore book never tells us if they succeeded.
A hundred and sixty Mayas reach for the Chiomas by their side. A hundred and fifty-eight Chiomas reach back. One Praedyth, waiting for the conductor's baton to drop. Uncountable Vex in the Garden, waiting for the same event, a synchrony none of them notice. Somewhere, a veil is always lifting. Somewhere, Kabr is always dooming himself. Somewhere, a door is always opening. Somewhere, they are always stepping through.
The name of the final chapter is "irrealis;" a grammatical mood for situations or actions that are not known to have happened at the moment of speaking. All Aspect chapters are named in this way, one of the reasons I started thinking about this lore book in the first place, the moment I noticed the names of missions this season (this theme is also extended to the weapons reprised from Undying: Imperative, Adhortative, Subjunctive and Optative). As an addition, the final mission's name is also very interesting and it is possible that maybe there will be another (one more radio message and triumph haven't been unlocked yet).
The point is that we don't know if the Ishtar Collective simulations and Praedyth managed to escape because at the time of speaking (when this lore book was released) this was an irrealis mood; unknown if the action has occured. But their plan, to use the situation with the Undying Mind in the Black Garden and the Black Garden itself to escape (the Vault of Glass and a simulation) seems to be connected to the massive Vex Citadel usually connected to the Vault of Glass that suddenly appeared in the Black Garden and has tangible proof of the Ishtar Collective inside.
As in, I believe they did manage to escape, in what for us is right now (or at least in a way that we could detect right now; time shenanigans with the Vex could mean anything honestly). I think that the appearance of the Citadel in the Black Garden correlates with their escape and that the Scatter Signal message is also something that came from the Ishtar team trying to give us information about the Vex. I also believe that this is a massive setup for the future content about the Vex and most likely the return of Venus in some form.
This whole year spent quite a lot of time reacquainting us with the Ishtar Collective: from Neomuna and their adventures in founding this secret city and their investigations into the Veil. Chioma Esi, a character that has existed in Destiny since the first game's release was finally given a voice and she and Maya Sundaresh were developed further and given some extra details to their backstory, most notably all the stuff we were told about Maya specifically and how much the Veil drove her mad. Not only that, but we were also given additional information about the Black Garden and the Black Heart, another point from the original game's first story that was brought back almost a decade later. Like a loop to the beginning.
The fact that it all ended with more stuff about the Black Garden and the Ishtar Collective is not a coincidence, I think. Most importantly, it's not the story that will be resolved this season and very likely won't be something we will be dealing with in the Final Shape. So this is setup for something after; about the Vex and their search for paracausality (and possible success?), about their connection to Venus and about the Ishtar Collective, perhaps even more about the Black Garden and maybe even Praedyth and the Vault of Glass.
As a quick summary:
The appearance of the Vex Citadel in the Black Garden - the original Citadel is linked to the Vault of Glass and is located on Venus. Somewhat related to this, this season Oracles appeared outside of Vault of Glass and were shaping themselves into Pyramid energy.
The Citadel architecture is not Sol Divisive Vex. This is important because otherwise we would be able to just chalk up the appearance of this structure to the Sol Divisive shaping the Black Garden, but the Citadel is not their work.
Ishtar Collective symbol inside; not only linking to Aspect, but also to Venus itself (we got a lot of Ishtar content this year in general, starting even before Lightfall, with Spire of the Watcher dungeon in Season of the Seraph, just before Lightfall, as an intro to the story of Ishtar and founding of Neomuna)
Several mentions of Venus, indirectly (the Citadel, Ishtar Collective) or directly (mentioned in one voice line linked to the history of the Ahamkara in the system, and also in the mysterious mention of an incredibly niche character of Albios, also in context of the Ahamkara history in the system)
All of this points to some Vex heavy content coming post-TFS with a strong connection to Venus and the story of the Ishtar Collective (perhaps their simulations) and some possibility of Praedyth and more about the Vault of Glass. Pretty much everything discussed here and everything the Vex have been doing for years is likely not getting resolved in TFS as the primary problem for us in TFS will be the Witness.
But once the Witness is gone? I'm pretty sure we will be finally moving on to the Vex and possibly their grasp of paracausality. We might be forced to go back to Venus and dig up more information about them, perhaps even reach out to the Ishtar simulations, if they've escaped (which I believe they did, given what we've seen at the end of Starcrossed).
Obviously this will likely be happening in Episodes, probably the first one, given what we've seen about it so far; it is called Echoes and has something vaguely Vex-shaped as a placeholder image. Not only that, but it's covered with plants that have reminded me of Venus ever since it was first shown. Note that none of this is still final and this placeholder image was shown to us before all the troubles with layoffs and delays. But it seems like the general idea will have to remain the same because of all the hints and setup about Vex content we've gotten so far, especially with these open questions at the end of Starcrossed mission.
We don't know yet how big Episodes will be which obviously makes it impossible to make any kind of prediction on what the stories in them might be able to cover and how extensive the content will be. Especially how likely it is to get a whole location like Venus back, not to mention that there are still questions about other Vex-focused locations; for example, are there plans to expand on Nessus and are there plans to also deal with Mercury?
Obviously I would love to deal with Mercury first and foremost (we know Bel), but I think most of everything we've seen through this story and through the hints and setup points to Venus and the return to some of the original unanswered questions in the lore. I'm really excited for the possibility that we'll get more information about the Ishtar team and about what truly happened to their simulations. I'm also excited for the possibility that there might be more information about the Vault of Glass and the Black Garden and the Black Heart (for which I think that the Vex have been trying to rebuild or fix in some way). It would be a neat way to create a circle back to the start of the story, especially since it's dealing with the Vex and time travel shenanigans. I'd really love if the story of the Vex forced us to metaphorically go back to the start of the story and look at everything we've seen so far with a new perspective.
I've gone to a lot of different points in this post, but I hope it makes sense. There have been some really interesting background infodumps and discussions in the lore and character interactions about the Vex and their impact on the world, overshadowed by the fact that we have much bigger imminent problems to deal with. This incidentally also gave Vex enough time and space to do their thing unsupervised. They've had enough time to observe us and other paracausal entities (such as the Ahamkara and the Witness and the Traveler), we've given them plenty of information about Guardians (the fact that we deposit our "paracausal sparks" into Vex receptacles in the Black Garden during Starcrossed is quite concerning) and they've evolved enough to begin shaping themselves with Darkness resonance, and they've never had more information about simulations and prediction.
The Vex have taken their time to catch up with us and they've been especially prolific during Season of the Wish while our attention is directed elsewhere, even with them being directly involved. I'm super excited for whatever they have planned for Vex stuff after TFS and they've given us plenty of content to speculate about it until it releases!
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justlemmeadoreyou · 6 months
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Vexed
Summary:(this ask) Hey, I absolutely adore your work. Could you write about like a burned out reader who doesn't feel like doing her work and needs encouragement? Been having a bad few months lately. <3
Word Count: 1.3k
Summary: mentions of crying, tooth rotting fluff
masterlist | ask box(requests are open!)
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“Fuck!” you wanted to yell that, but ended up saying it with a gritted face. Your co-worker Theo was passing by, and seemed vaguely interested in your misery.
“What’s wrong, Y/N? You look…tired?” he remarked.
“I am tired. So fucking tired” you slumped down in your seat, slowly sliding down more and more into it.
“You could take a break”
“Break? That’s what you’re suggesting? You know how many deadlines and pile-ups we have, right?” you raised your eyebrows, too annoyed at him already.
“I know that Y/n. I’m quite burnt out myself. But if you take a break, things will be a bit better.”
“I don’t have time for a fucking break, Theo” you put your right palm on your head, which was throbbing from stress.
"Look, I get that you're stressed, but you don't have to take it out on me. Maybe if you focused on the work instead of yelling at everyone, you wouldn't be in this mess."
“Oh thank you, Theo! I was so desperately in need of a lecture from you, aren’t I? Just go away!” you yelled again, and he got pissed off, and left.
You couldn’t stand being there anymore. The atmosphere was so frustrating. Everyone clammed up in a small space, running around, doing their work. It shouldn’t be frustrating per-se, but you were. You had been working without rest for the past 40 hours, and there were so many projects and reports lined up, you wanted to scream. And cry too, maybe?
Gathering up your stuff from your table, some files, your laptop and stationary, you decided you would do this at home. After you had had “a break”.
Driving to your house was miserable too, every signal seemed so much longer than it actually was. Every speeding car that made you slam your brakes hard made you want to get out of the car and yell and curse them. It was so vexing.
Pulling up to your house, you parked the car in the garage, and got out. You left your stuff in your car, deciding to take it out later when you actually felt like working.
You lived with your boyfriend, Harry. You had been in a relationship for more than a year, and had just moved in a few months ago.
Everything about him was great. He was so loving, you loved him so much. He took care of you, you cooked and baked together. After a long day of work for the both of you, he would be there for you, holding you and comforting you, telling you that everything will be alright.
You missed him so much. You wished he would come home early.
As soon as you entered, the dark house resembled the state of your mind, all blank and foggy, unclear with no idea where to go. You decided to take a shower and cry.
You walked to your shared  bedroom, stripping off your clothes one by one. As soon as you entered your bathroom, you threw everything away, opened your hair and turned the water on, standing below it.
As the water cascaded down, you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The day's challenges, the pressure, the relentless tide of responsibilities—it all spilled out in the form of silent sobs. Alone in the shower, you let the water wash away the stress, if only for a moment.
Tears streamed down your face, flowing away with the water into the drain. It all felt so meaningless in the moment. Your job, the never-ending work, the deadlines, the piled up spreadsheets, the tension, the stress. It was eating you alive.
Little did you know, Harry had come back soon too. He parked his range rover, and saw your car too. He became happy that you were home soon, and you would get to spend some more time together.
As soon as he reached the door, he found out that it wasn’t locked. He panicked, thinking that someone must have barged in.
“Y/N?” he screamed at the top of his voice, opening the door and locking it. Inside, all the lights were out, and it got more and more mysterious.
He yelled your name, searching for you in the kitchen, in the living room, in the backyard, everywhere. Finally, he climbed up the stairs and went to your bedroom.
There, he saw some of your clothes lying on the floor, and heard the shower. He quickly jogged, and barged in.
He saw you standing under the shower, cold water pouring down. Your back was turned to him, shoulders quivering with each silent sob.
You had had a bad day.
You turned around to look at him, and just stared at him for a second. You turned back around, trying to stop your crying.
“Lovie, you okay?” he asked in a very soft voice, already inside the shower and closing the door behind him.
You sniffled, trying to compose yourself. "Yeah, just needed a moment. It's been a day."
“Sure, love. Mind if I join?”
You nodded silently. You both knew how much you needed his presence, him, in this moment.
He quietly stripped down behind you, and walked in, closing the shower curtain.
As soon as he was near, you quickly turned around, hugging him. Your sobs and tears flew freely, without a care in the world. Harry held you tightly, rubbing your back, trying to calm you down.
"It's okay, lovie. It's all okay. Shh," he reassured, gently patting your back, allowing you to cry as much as needed. He was present now, and he wouldn't let you go through this alone.
After a few moments, your tears had stopped, and there were only sobs coming out of your mouth. You pulled yourself from his embrace, looking into his bright green eyes with swollen ones.
“I’m sorry, I’m too much sometimes” you tried to pull off of him, wanting to give him space if he wanted.
“No, please don’t say that. You’re never too much.”
“It’s just that-there’s so so much work, Harry. So much workload piled up, and I don’t want to do anything. I just want to burn everything away and sleep. “
“It’s okay. You’ll be okay. Understand? There’s no need to blame yourselves. You’re so good at your job. You’ll figure it out. I know you will.” He kissed your forehead gently, and you sheepishly smiled.
“Thank you, Harry. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, love. Now, how long have you been standing under this ice-cold water?”
“Long enough”
“Alright, let’s get out before we get sick”
He walked across the shower and brought you a warm, fluffy towel, softly wrapping it around you. You were shivering now, and he looked at you with disbelief.
“I’m sorry! I just wanted to cool off.” You pouted cutely, and his frown immediately went away.
“Can’t get angry at my cute bunny, can I?”
You smiled, and you both walked out of the shower. He dried you off outside, picking up fresh pajamas to wear.
“Tell you what. I’ll bake you some cookies. With that new frosting we bought. And some coffee too?”
“No. Hot chocolate”
“Sure, love. You can find a movie for us to watch till I make you food.”
“But I want to be with you” you walked over to him, clinging to his body like a koala bear.
“Okay, love. You can sit on the island and I’ll feed you cookie dough.”
“And chocolates”
“And chocolates.”
“And kisses too?”
“So many kisses for you, my love”
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a/n: to the anon who requested this, i hope you liked it. sorry for the daly, and i really hop you're alright, love! you can talk to me whenever you want
lovely divider by @cafekitsune
i hope you like this! please don't hate me
here's my ko-fi if you feel generous
requests and feedback is welcome and much appreciated!!
>>>
general taglist:
@freedomfireflies @gurugirl @thechaoticjoy @styleslover-1994 @gem1712 @ellaorchard @bxbyysstuff @opheliaofficial07 @rafaaoli @tchlamqtsgf @the-mouse27 @indierockgirrl @vrittivsanghavi @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @drewrry @babyiamperfectforyou @me-undiscovered @tbsloneely @whoreonmondays @kathb59 @avalentina @kittenhere @speedywritingharrystylesjudge @mypolicemanharryyy @theendx888
let me know if you want to be added, removed
.
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justanarchiveforfics · 9 months
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August Seventeen recs
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Where's the fun in that? | @bluehoodiewoozi (fluff)
The mailman keeps mixing up your mail nearly every day. The guy who gets your mail often demands a gift of some sort in return for your stuff.
The very first night | @shuadrive (angst, smut)
the search for a new place to live takes a turn for the worse when the only person willing to split rent with you is your ex-boyfriend.
What? Like it's hard? | @starsstuddedsky (friends to lovers, fluff)
With the help of a little bit of bleach, Soonyoung is certified legally blonde–complete to last minute-dedication to scoring as high as Elle Woods on the LSAT. While he has no interest in law school, he’s notorious for never turning down a dare. So how does a frat bro in serious danger of failing his senior year get a 179? He asks the smartest person he knows. 
Or, studying for a law test has never seen this much chemistry.
Honey boy | @chocosvt (slow burn. fluff, f2l)
When you graduate high school, you realize you’re not really going to miss anyone, apart from a cute boy who doesn’t even remember your name. five years later, after accepting an offer to pass the summer at a friend’s lake house, he’s standing right in front of you. the universe doesn’t give second chances very often. you’re not going to let the honey boy slip away twice. 
Love & other clichés | @nnight-dances ( fluff, angst)
Hoax | @lovelyhan (mafia au, strangers to lovers, angst, smut)
You’re a hostess that’s drowning in debt, and jisoo is a man with too many secrets to keep. making a clean break for it isn’t as easy as you’d hoped.
Ode to you | @lovelyhan (angst, reincarnation, fluff)
If there's one thing you've learned from all the lives you've spent together, it's that jeonghan isn't always someone you'll end up wanting. he can be crass. he can be secretive. he can be nothing short of vexing. but in the end, he's everything you need him to be.
Eat. Play. Love | @husbandhoshi (slow burn, enemies to lovers)
Being one of new york's top food critics comes with a lot of perks: free dinners, nice awards, and a linkedin profile your parents could be proud of. that doesn't stop you from wanting a lofty promotion to editor, and the only person standing in your way is choi seungcheol. just one problem: his romance column has half of new york under his grimy little thumb. that, and you hate him.
in which your love language is food. seungcheol doesn't have one.
Meet my blue | @smilehui (fluff, strangers to lovers)
Joshua hong doesn't really do love, but when you tumble into his life in a splash of color, he falls hard. and maybe you were right about those grays in the first place.
Starflower | @kmgkmg (angst, fluff)
Your guardian angel has come down to earth, what will happen?
Lily of the valley | @shuahoonie (fluff, meet-cute)
Hao thought the idea of a meet-cute was corny, impossible even. however, when he recalls the first time he met you, he knew he had to swallow a few choice of words and his pride.
And it was all yellow | @sunhoures (strangers to friends to lovers)
Wonwoo doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he finds himself falling for you a lot sooner than he thought possible.
The soulmate service | @dkfile (soulmates au, fluff)
The soulmate service has one purpose: to help those who drew the short end of the stick and ended up without a person to live their forever with. after the heart wrenching realization that the boy you’ve loved since you were thirteen isn’t the one meant for you, you put your love life in the hands of vernon chwe — which, now that you think about it, is probably a very bad idea.
To live again | @viastro (time travel au, childhood friends to lovers)
It’s been years since your last milestone birthday; a time when everything still felt right in the world with youth and ambition. now that you’re older and times have changed, would you dare take a chance to save someone else in the past at the cost of your own future?
Under the collar |@miraclewoozi (fluff)
your unlucky-in-love best friend goes on a date with someone who, by all accounts, should be his perfect person. so… how exactly do you end up being the one who tucks his sorry, drunk ass into bed?
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astrum-aetherium · 11 months
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fucking henry but you're so loud he has to muffle you (bonus points if he's already angry at your brattiness)
the most enticing part about this is that he would become sooo annoyed. let's say it's super late in the night and otherwise completely silent in the apartment, and he does have neighbors he has to watch out for at times out of the sheer want to avoid unnecessary confrontation. or... same setting, but at francis' country estate — maybe you've had just a little bit too much to drink and cannot hold yourself back at all, thus unleashing it all. yelps and cries and moans, full volume. he would grow so vexed.
at first, he would even slow down and keep a more gradual pace thinking it would solve things, but the intimacy of the rhythm would have you just as loud all the same. with time, however, his expression would scrunch up further and further — he would be utterly displeased. here, i'll apply the aforementioned added bonus: let's assume you had been acting entirely disobedient and reckless all day, possibly spurned on by alcohol, and he's already agitated as all hell with your behavior. on top of all that, now that you're being far too loud to ever be appropriate, his stoic patience comes to a rampant stagger. in short: he loses it.
initially, he has you flipped on your stomach with your back arched, driving your hips into his. annoyed with your transcendent volume, he would lean forward and grab hold of your fluttering throat, spitting quite sternly, "would you keep quiet?!" then, he would add, "we're not alone, for god's sake." you, in turn, would only grin and continue without a whit of consideration, thus only challenging his boundaries further. in response, his fingers would tighten around your hips, practically digging into your skin and piercing you to the bone. soon enough, however, he would unclasp one of them and harshly spank you with it. leaning in once more, he'd repeat, "god, can't you just shut your mouth?"
because you, evidently, wouldn't, he would spank you some more, until he would have no other choice left but to nudge your head into the bedsheets so as to muffle you with an angered that's it. it'd help, and he would have the composure to keep going in on you harder, so that you'd cry into the gentle, expensive silk. he would tear you back upward for air every now and again by your hair, quite roughly, and you would only responsively moan out of pleasure at that. because you'd been so disobedient, he would edge you profusely — luring you over to the very premise of your orgasm but then immediately ceasing all movement and stilling inside you, hot and pounding. your expectant fluttering around him would have him breathing heavily, and yet he would be too focused on punishing you rather than granting the two of you the release you're seeking.
in a different position — any, honestly — he would keep his palm clasped over your mouth or even stuff it shut with his fingers, which you would brattily close your teeth in on. that, obviously, would only get you fucked harder and propelled further away from your orgasm. in spire of that, you would, of course, get to come that night — but not without being overstimulated to hell and back, with tears creased in your eyes and henry's anger spelled out all over your body in blooming little bruises where his grip had dug into you at its profoundest.
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blorbologist · 2 years
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Yknow! I'm very, very intrigued by the implications of Gwendolyn still being a child and the twins being teens or very young adults - matching the portrait dated to roughly a decade before this point in the timeline.
Because though their ages could have been shifted around, Vesper's can't. She was a baby in Dalen's Closet, she's Beau's age. She's 30-31 while the next oldest siblings are teens, maybe very early twenties at best.
Which implies a fair gap between the firstborn and any other kids.
It got me thinking -
In the epilogue, initially, Percy seems extremely set on continuing to adventure. Not settle down - just drop into Whitestone to have kids then keep on wandering. Which, no, young man, that's not how babies and kids work. I'm fairly certain Tal and Laura hadn't discussed Vex being pregnant with Vesper by this point in the timeline when this conversation happened, given she's on a pretty similar page and not smugly going 'surprise! Baby #1 is on the way!'
My original way of integrating Percy's post-campaign wanderlust with canon was that they'd planned to keep looking for trouble, but Vesper was an accident and both just. Absolutely wanted to give her the very best (see, Syldor being an asshole and Percy's parents n siblings being murdered) so they buckled down and fell in love with the family life to have the twins a few years later. And with another kid or two popping out every few years, there would almost always be one small enough to really need the parents' on-hand and the stability + safety + support of the castle, so roadtrips would become a distant dream for a decade or two.
Now, with this age gap between Vesper and her siblings? I wonder if they did get to have roadtrips.
Not immediately, not for a few years probably, with just a few days break here n there when Cass or Keyleth could watch Vesper.
But once Vesper's, like? Kindergarten age?
The family could have adventured a bit.
Obviously only safe stuff, but the image of Percy, Vex and Vesper taking little escapades into the wilds or down the roads often for the next few years, hell potentially for a while, is very sweet to me.
That or leaving Vesper with Cass once she's old enough to see it as a treat and not a terrible thing, but! Percy with Vesper on his shoulders while Vex cheerfully haggles down the cost of a room! Vex holding Vesper's hand steady so she can cook a treat over the campfire. Family cuddle piles! Vesper tossing scraps at a raven watching them and Vex fucking crying!
And obviously either something Bad Happened, or they realized this was no way to raise Whitestone's heir long-term, or Vex was like 'shit I'm pregnant again', and they settled a little more permanently. Because the age gaps between the twins and Gwen (and thus between them and Vax’ildan) seems a lot smaller, so maybe they got it out of their system.
With Leona and Wolfe in ranger leathers, though, the older kids are likely enjoying the wilds under Vex's watch to some degree and I for one am thrilled at the idea of complete de Rolo family adventures.
Also, Vesper being their only child for a while Absolutely changes her character as many of us imagine her - a solid dose of only child syndrome and being way older than her siblings! Much to think about!
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orbdotexe · 1 year
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I feel mildly bad about not answering those asks yet BUT I've been really busy so I'm just gonna leave some old drabbles and other stuff I've collected here
---
"There is nothing in any vex simulation or psion prediction that could keep me from being a thorn in the side of existence"
-YW, after coming back from the dead, in some probable AU I'll never write
---
“I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. But, I’ll be fine, you can-” They hug him tighter as he starts to push away from them.
…They aren’t letting him go, are they?
“...Guardian,” he warns, “Put me down. Now.”
They only let out a garbled hum in response, perfectly happy to squeeze the life out of him.
“We do not have time for this- I will stab you, let-”
“You and what army, old man?” Even through the layers of harsh static, the smug edge to the Young Wolf’s voice was abundantly clear to anyone listening. They were as infuriating and stubborn as ever.
And Saint and that flamboyant Cloudstrider were not helping.
“We- We have work to do, you can show your affections later- Saint! Stop laughing!”
---
Crow: Why does The Guardian call you babygirl?
Sam Moleyn: how about we stop talking for awhile
---
Ann, banging on the door: Guys! I need you to hide me! Noble, ushering her in: Ann, what happened?! Ann: G! I spilled bleach on their cloak- Noble, pushing her back out: Not a chance. You’re on your own. Ann: Wait- They’ll kill me-! Noble, slamming the door: Goodbye.
---
Wolf: STOP IT Wolf: STOP TALKING ABOUT BEING POSSESSED Ghost: i’m free real estate Wolf: YOU ARE NOT FREE REAL ESTATE-
---
Crow: How do I get revenge? Ann: I am legally obliged to tell you ‘forgiveness’. Crow: Guardian, how do I get revenge? Ruin, “Godslayer”: I am also legally obliged to say ‘forgiveness’, but you- Noble, putting his hand over their mouth: I’m gonna stop you right there.
---
ALSO SOME LORE
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Wolf is canonically a little shit but also terrifying. You love to see it
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Ann: Let’s apologize on the count of 3. Phyra: I didn’t do anythin- Ann: 1… 2… 3. Phyra: Ann: Ann: see, now I’m just disappointed in both of us Phyra: intense glaring
---
"In the Age of Triumph, in the final battle, when the light began to wane, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, their soul blistered by the fires of hell and tainted beyond redemption, they choose the path of perpetual torment. In their ravenous hatred, they found no peace; and with fiery conviction, they scoured the Ascendant realms, seeking vengeance against the dark Disciples who wronged them. They wore the crown of the Iron Lords, and those that tasted the bite of their sword named them... The Young Wolf."
i don't know what i was on for this one, but I rediscover it every once in awhile and alter it a bit
---
"He's all they've been thinking about, but he's going to have to get used to their absence. The flat will be quiet. The Tower, normal... Their bed, empty.
It's how things must be.
Things could be different in another life, perhaps.
But not this one.
They have to go, one day soon."
-on Crow-YW angst about Wolf's predicted death.
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prianya · 2 years
Note
Wait omg could i request a fic with Vex hybrid Cub and Vex hybrid Scar competing for Alley hybrid Reader's love please? Reader is very oblivious and thinks its normal Vex behavior and vibes with Grian beside a jukebox while Cub and Scar argue in the background
Romantic Discourse
Scar X Reader; Cub x Reader ▪︎ Romantic
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Word Count ▪︎ 821 words
Summary ▪︎ The two vexes bicker while you just vibe with Grian.
Note ▪︎ This was one of my favorites, I honestly love it! I hope you enjoy!
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When you woke up that morning, you had received a message from Scar asking if you wanted to spend the day with him and Grian. You agreed immediately, since it had been a few days since you had seen the both of them. The two met you near the sight of one of your newest redstone projects, the ruby-colored dust already coating your hands by the time they arrived.
"Hello Grian, Scar! You can set your stuff anywhere for now, I just have to connect this repeater really quickly." With that, you duck back into the hole you had made in the cliff's face, leaving the two to set down their things. You return maybe a minute later, and flip a switch cleverly hidden within a wethered stone. The wall begins to sink into the floor, pistons dropping and pulling the wall with it until they are left with a large nether portal.
"That was really cool! I love how it seemed like the stone was almost draining downwards," Scar marvels at your creation, and you smile with pride.
"It took a bit, but I managed to slightly offset the activation of some of the pistons by maybe five seconds." You explain the process that you used, Scar paying rapt attention to your every word. He nods at your explanation, interjecting some ideas at some points. The two of you delve so deeply in conversation, you almost forget about Grian, who sits on a jukebox and watches the two of you talk. Your comm pings, and you turn away to grab it from where it was sitting on top of a chest.
The screen on your comm shows a message from Cub, asking if you're free to hang out. You reply to the message and say he can come to you, and send him the coordinates for your project. The only reply you get is a 'see you soon', so you put down your comm and go back over to Scar.
--
Cub quickly packs his things, making sure to grab the container of muffins he had made for you. He was hoping today was the day to ask you to date him, so he had prepared fully. Once he received the location, he was off immediately.
He landed at the bottom of a hill, walking up to the location you had given him. As he crests the hill, he spots the two others with you, and begins to look closer. When Cub clearly sees Scar, the bright smile on his face fades into a displeased frown. He had nothing against the man, except for the fact that they were both trying to court the same person. Vexes are terribly jealous hybrids, and it just gets even worse when two try to compete. Along with that, Scar happened to be particularly infuriating sometimes.
"Hello Cub!" you say as you peek from behind Scar, giving him a large smile that made him melt.
"Hello! I brought you some muffins, your favorite," he says, and a part of him hums with satisfaction at the look of envy Scar has. You gasp in excitement and walk over quickly, talking a muffin out of Cub's hand and biting into it.
"Oh this is lovely! The sweet berry is really good!" you tell him. His chest swells with pride at the praise, and he gives Scar a small smirk from over your shoulder.
"I made them myself! I'm glad you like them," Cub tells you and then ruffles your hair slightly. You grab another muffin and then go to have a seat at the jukebox, where Grian is looking at the different discs in the chest next to it. As the two of you talk, an entirely different conversation happens behind you.
"Muffins? Since when do you bake?" Scar scoffs, and Cub rolls his eyes.
"You're saying that to me like you didn't learn how to make their favorite soup," Cub says back, and Scar doesn't grace him with an answer.
"You've also been hovering around them since I got here, back off," Cub says flatly, and Scar crosses his arms.
"No, I was here before you, and I can hover as much as I want," he says in reply, and Cub squints at him. The two continue to speak heatedly, the argument gaining volume gradually.
"So do you want to play Mellohi or Pigstep?" Grian asks, holding up both discs. You hum with a hand on your chin, squinting at the two vinyls.
"I dunno, it's a hard choice," you say, your wings fluttering slightly behind you.
"We also have Chirp?" He offers, and you nod.
"Definitely Chirp. Mellohi is too dark, and Pigstep is too boppy," you explain, and Grian agrees with you like it makes sense. He pops in the disc, and the tropical music starts to play. You bop your head as you talk to Grian, the both of you ignoring the two males arguing behind you.
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sailsunfurled · 7 months
Note
Hey, I saw you changed your username! I just wanted to say I thought it was a lovely sounding name! /gen
Sorry for the late reply, but thank you! Very much so!!
Honestly, I expected to change my username and drop that post for anyone to see and it to be just another drop in an ocean, completely and entirely ignored. Especially since I so very rarely have posted anything myself on here, on my blog, and have gotten no attention before.
But it's pretty nice to see a few people like the post, even reply back about it. So thank you for sending a message! It's very much appreciated.
As for the username, I've just never fully felt alright with Vexchief. I liked the concept I was going for then (a mixture of Vixen and Mischief smashed together, but because I didn't like the look of Vixchief, I changed the first i to an e) but I never liked how it seemed that anger defined me via Vex. Mischief and Anger. I didn't like that.
And in real life, I've just- *A very long sigh...* A long terrible story, but my life has not been great. A hell not of mine own making that I've been stuck in my whole life, and have been trying to get myself out of no matter what. But when I try, it's never seemed enough. Not anything close to enough. And especially these last few years since Covid happened (didn't get it, just life stuff that happened around the same time), I've just been like a boat lost at sea, adrift. And if I tried to move, to leave my situation, it's only felt like I've gone in a circle, like I'm just chasing my own tail, going nowhere.
("All things that lose their way can find it again. There is no inertia in the ocean.")
Sailsunfurled is I suppose my own declaration to myself. I feel like things are truly different this time around. (Maybe? Or maybe not and I'm just delusional. But I have to think that everything before, every attempt has helped me get to this point.) So it's me saying I am letting down the sails, and I am going to journey forth, once and for all. This is it, this the attempt. I will make it work. I will get out. And I will live. And I will be okay. (Okay, it's certainly a bit delusional. But I feel like at this point I'm just a bit desperate for it to work.)
Anyway, long story short, Adrift has been stuck in my head, haunting me ever since I first heard it. And lately I've had some little obsession of a thought of a boat, a sail. (I might have delved a little into some sea shanties the other day lmao.)
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greatprotector-if · 9 months
Note
Just popping in to say that I really like your writing style. I really really like how it not only makes you feel things, but also LETS you feel things — if that makes sense. (it doesn't, but anyway.). I like how the narration is just a tiny bit unhinged and WILL make you laugh. I like how despite that, it doesn't sugarcoat or downplay the very real flaws and fears that follow every character.
Like, yeah, the world is tiring and people are tiring and you kind of just want to lie prone facedown on the ground Forever, but also. The narration (or, well, the MC) WILL snark literally Everything in sight to hell and back. You will have a heart to heart with someone deadset on getting that "MC's #1 Pain in the Ass" t-shirt and they WILL, quite literally, fly away when the conversation gets a little too honest; you are allowed to take your ire out on a pile of twigs. Presumably. You stare into a chicken's Not a Single Thought Is At Home eyes and someone WILL vehemently come to its defense if you slander it. Pillows will fwoomp pathetically to the floor. Everyone's sort of got their own wet cat thing going on. But also everyone is lovely. (And some people just suck, but they can wait their turn this isn't about them). You're allowed to feel angry. You're allowed to feel sad. You're allowed to feel a strange mix of everything and nothing. You're allowed to feel spite. You're allowed to be kind. You're allowed to be complicated and frustrating and flat out vexed with yourself. You are a person; you are a person. Those who surround you are also people — strange or vexing or supernatural they may be. The world is alive. You are alive.
Anyways. Yeah. :D I gotta clarify that this isn't about choices or variables and all that IF stuff. This is about your writing. It's just how it makes me feel. It's how your worlds and characters and everything make me feel. They are very dear to me. Thank you so much for sharing them. I love reading everything you show us, and I'm so glad you're writing.
Sorry for terrorizing your inbox with this Very Long Thing (I'll probably do it again). Once again, thank you, and good luck with everything!! 🤺🤺🤺✨✨✨✨
[P.S. Also, I typed a Very Long Thing in my tags for a certain post of yours but tumblr cut the whole thing in half when I posted it 🗿 I was like, "THE AUDACITY" and took off to your inbox so I could tell you what I meant to say in the tags (most of it is in the first paragraph of this ask) but now I'm kind of glad that tumblr offed my tags like that. It's allowed me to convey Everything to you in a.... somewhat more coherent manner, at least 🐓✨]
THJFN D. FHJFJGKGKVJVNFNVNGMV. dude WHTA THE HELL you are too too kind thank you so much?!?!!???!!??!!!!?! , , ,,, thank you for takingthe time to write this...... and even coming to my inbox when your tags cut off DJFJSKF SERIOUSLY i appreciate this so. immensely i'm ):
i won't lie i am struggling a lot with trying to convey this in a way that's satisfying with the IF format but the characters are what i consider to be among if not The Most Important thing in my writing and that includes the mc, so injecting little quips/opinions/human things into narration is my jam. if they don't feel real then what's the point!!!!!! it's hard with player choice and variables and it's definitely been a steep learning curve for me (which is part of why it's taking so long to write lol oops) but. i just. people are complex. and i want to make room for all sorts of people if i can. & i'm so glad that my writing makes u feel things. wven kust in general because THAT'S ALL WE WANT AS AUTHORS. LIKE. THANK YOU
ok i have no idea what i'm saying at this point this is so stream of consciousness no clue if it makes sense but THANK UOU AGAIN. WAGGJHH. I SEIFOFK. i am going to think about this ask every fuckign day for the rest of my life. this ask is my NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?
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arpmemething2 · 1 year
Text
Quotes from Harley Quinn starters
Send one in for my muse’s reaction.  Taken from all forms of media.   Feel free to change pronouns as needed.
"I got you a kitty."
“So what if I’m crazy? The best people are.”
“I have done everything you said. Every test, every trial, every initiation. I have proved I love you. Just accept it!”
"I gotta work on my cardio."
"Stupid bats, your ruining date night!"
“We can’t change the past, but there’s a difference between moving on and letting go.”
“If I get mad at you that means I still care. Worry when I don’t get mad.”
"Isn’t this fun? It’s just like a sleepover. We should order pizza- make Cosmos!"
"My rational mind can recognize pain when I see it. But my rational mind is in a pretty small box. All tied up with a bow on it."
“Find what you love and let it kill you.”
"Shhh, face it sugar I got something you want and you sure a shootin' have something I want, so be a good boy and maybe, maybe Mama will give you a cookie"
“You made me want to be a less terrible person.”
“Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape?”
"Mmmm, spiked eggnog. It's like the cream a' Christmas in a spoon!"
"You really put the 'fun' in funeral."
"What's gonna happen here is, I'm gonna turn off the lights for two minutes, an' when I turn 'em back on, whoever's still standin' gets the job."
"The joke's on you, I'm not evena  real blonde."
“Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power.”
"But the clown-spankin' truth is this, our strength comes not from being whole, but from bein' broken differently. Because there's enough of us, we are whole together."
"Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for."
"I'm rubber, your glue, whatever you say bounces off me and makes a six inch diameter exit wound in you."
"Own that shit. Own it!"
"Have you heard this new Taylor Swift song? It's soooo good."
"I must let the world know about my craving. I want pancakes and I want them now!"
"It's the end of the world. Have a drink with us."
“If I’m mad enough to skip the tears and go straight to laughing, you better run ‘cause I’m about to lose my shit.”
"How about you, hot stuff?"
"Hey! Hey, I'm talking to you. Hey, I'm talking to you!"
“You don’t like me? Fine. Don’t waste my time then.”
“I’m known to be quite vexing I’m just forewarning you.”
“I’m bored. Play with me.”
“You know, for what it’s worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now, all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin’ sweetheart.”
“I love him not for the way he silenced my demons, but for the way his demons dance with mine.”
“I’m having a bad day! I’m sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up! All I wanted was a new dress – and I actually paid for it!”
“That’s so cute, you think you’re scary. Well, mister, I’ve seen scary and you don’t have his smile.”
"What, I got a hickey or something?"
"How rude!"
“Call me a softie, I dare ya!”
"Arent’ you glad you wore that? Sexy AND bulletproof!"
"That was so not romantic."
“Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.”
“I’m not shopping at this store: I’m robbing this store. Paying is for dummies!”
"You're cute. You want me? I'm all yours."
“You know what they say: behind every successful man is a badass broad.”
"Maybe I can stick you some shampoo."
“Don’t know if I wanna kill you or kiss you.”
"It's called 'animals attack people I hate"... It's a comedy."
“All of that chit-chat is gonna get you hurt.”
“We’re bad guys, it’s what we do.”
“The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.”
"I recommend a lobotomy.”
"Look, I'm in no mood for this crap. Especially after the day I been havin!"
"Mama's gonna paint the streets with blood."
"Why can't a girl be nice to a guy without the mook trying to murder her?"
“Now you feel like you have someone by your side to share the journey with you.”
“Whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger.”
"Hey, I'm cooperating. All right? This is me being cool."
"Love your perfume.  What is that, the scent of death?"
“Every woman has a crazy side that only the right man can bring out.”
“Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, Momma’s gonna kill for you the whole damn world.”
“You don’t have to be crazy to be in love. But it helps.”
“Wait ‘till they get a load of me.”
"I would be instigating mayhem everywhere I go!"
"sweetie, get mommy's bazooka."
"Now that's a killer app!"
"I love it! It's so... cinematic!"
"They say if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning."
“I’m not sure if I attract crazy or if I make them that way.”
“You can’t deny there’s an element of glamour to these super-criminals.”
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brostateexam · 2 years
Text
location location location
I have been looking at houses in the East Bay for the last two and a half weeks and I think I am at the point where I need to write some stuff out.
I have pre-approval for a staggering amount of money ($600k), and I have an equally staggering amount of money that can be used on things like moving costs, repairs, and a down payment ($110k). Per my budget that I threw together, I need to end up with a mortgage that is under $500k to make this something other than very precarious. I tend to catastrophize when I budget, but even given all that, I think having ~$500/month for all unplanned living expenses, going out to eat, going shopping, vacation, car trouble, etc would be Concerning and that was about the level I ended up with if the mortgage ends up being $550k.
After looking at property for the last little while, here's what I've concluded:
It's folly to treat a house as wholly a home or wholly an asset. It has to be both. For this reason, I've passed on bidding on some houses that I love but that are poor investments (money pits), and on some places that will likely become more valuable over time but that are just not right for me. It has to be both home you love and a place where the money you put into it will see some return, especially since I have no intention of living in a house in the East Bay for the rest of my life.
There are no perfect houses. It doesn't matter what kind of money you have. Every place comes with disclosures, weird neighbors, odd features, bone-headed additions, or mystifying decorating taste of the prior occupants.
The market is crazy but cooling down. Every day, I see price reductions come across Redfin because inventory is just not moving the way it was two to four years ago.
In terms of what's vexing me at the moment: I have two expiring opportunities to bid on condos. One is a townhouse style condo in Hayward and it's a great price for what it is -- probably the only time I will be able to say that about any property I have looked at here in the Bay. The other is an apartment-style condo in an older building in Adam's Point. This is a great opportunity because my mom knows the person selling it and he just wants to sell it at-cost and not pay double mortgage, because he's already moved into his new place.
The issue with condos, though, is from both a home perspective and an asset perspective, I'm not sure they are for me. I've never really wanted to live in an apartment building. I have friends who do or have, and they just don't appeal to me all that much, even though they provide a lot of convenience. I prefer living in a house or a part of a house. From an asset perspective, it's simpler: condos do not accrue that much value, so if I were to move to a condo and I wanted its value to increase, I'd probably have to wait quite some time. Of course, I would be gaining equity while I waited, and that is, you know, bankable, in a way that rent is not, which is not a bad consolation prize. But it is a consolation prize.
Leaving aside the condos, I saw four properties today that I am interested in, but I'm not sure I can put in a competitive offer on any of them. This is just so confusing. I wish I could talk to someone about it who didn't have a vested interest in me doing one thing or another.
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haldenlith · 2 years
Note
Tannivh and Astarion
28, 29, and 50.
28. Are they affectionate in public? Is it too much?
Tannivh: Not at all. Well, not beyond general "friendly". He sees no need for PDA if they aren't about to get down and dirty, and he tends to prefer to show romantic interest in different ways. This guy's love language is definitely gift giving or just trying to be extra considerate of the person he's interested in. Luckily, that person is Astarion, which means he's got an easy time of that.
So, yeah, he's kinda Mr. Stoic on the PDA front. I can imagine this would be vexing to Astarion if he weren't busy being affectionate himself, but, I could also see Tannivh's stoicism as one thing for Astarion: "Break that stoic exterior? Challenge Accepted."
Now Astarion, on the other hand: In the beginning, Tannivh would be unsure how to deal with Astarion and any form of PDA. As I've said before, while he's the sort of guy that has certainly gotten around and such, anything alluding to sexy stuff or even slightly (and I mean barely slightly) "steamier" affectionate displays tends to make him a little flustered.
Of course, this means Astarion made full use of that discovery and frequently would be on Tannivh in some manner. An arm around him, nuzzling his neck and whispering such naughty little things to make him squirm. Maybe just up and sitting in his lap at camp, or, worse, pulling Tannivh into his. The boldest display I think would be the classic "sweep, grab, and deep kiss" maneuver. It'd all be far too much for Tannivh in the beginning. After a while, though, once they're both settled in their feelings with each other, Nivh would be unbothered and pleasantly stoic once more, wearing that gentle little smile while Astarion drapes himself on him. He'd be used to his favorite overly-chatty vampire spawn at that point, and happy with the affection.
29. How are they affectionate in private?
Tannivh: Private is a different matter entirely. Like night and day different. Tannivh is incredibly affectionate in private. He loves to touch and be touched, as that is his other "love language", so he'd often wish to be close to Astarion, with at least his arm around him, or vice versa. He's also a serial kisser -- it would seem like he's trying to kiss every part of Astarion possible (in both sexy and not-sexy ways).
As things progress later on in their relationship, and they settle into a bit of a Master-Pet dynamic-undertone to it, Tannivh would become prone to wanting to be in Astarion's lap. That would be his favorite spot, curled up with his lover/Master, maybe nuzzling him, enjoying his presence. I wouldn't say cuddling, quite, but close.
Astarion: Honestly? I don't think there'd be too huge of a change. Initially, the motivations I think would be the same, as he'd enjoy getting a rise out of Tannivh (and sometimes getting a rise out of Tannivh, if you follow what I mean, since they're in private -- the wood elf is easy to get going).
I do think later in the relationship, Astarion would be more... hmm... "gently" affectionate. Petting Nivh's head, little kisses here and there on shoulders and neck, small things. He doesn't need to be so showy in private, and he knows Tannivh relishes touch-based displays, so he'd focus on that for his beloved.
50. Is there anything that scares them about their friendship/relationship?
Tannivh: Lots of things.
Initially, when he realizes he actually has feelings for Astarion, he worries that he's falling into a trap, that Astarion is just leading him on, because it was clear as day that's what Astarion was initially doing with all of them. Using them. Nivh fears that the relationship isn't real, and that Astarion will betray them.
Then there's what Astarion is. Nivh has pretty liberal views for a ranger with druidic roots that worships Silvanus, Solonor Thelandira, and Rillifane Rallathil (though, fun fact: Tannivh considers Silvanus and Rillifane to be one and the same). Undead don't bother him, and he sees them as having a right to exist. That said, he's not naive. He knows more often than not vampires and vampire-adjacent tend to have... less than savory motives, and are often driven by their hunger. So, he fears that he'll have to put Astarion down should he become a real and actual danger. (Yes, this is a different fear to betrayal.)
On the other hand, thanks to Tannivh's roots, he also knows that Astarion's being is at odds with his faith and his upbringing, making him acutely aware that if they were/are to be a thing, that it's something he will have to manage every time they come into contact with other druids and elves of similar faith to him. He fears that will have severe backlash in some way, be it he'll have to defend both himself and Astarion from righteous smiting harm, or some other permutation of that. It's a scenario he doesn't want to ever be in, because there are no winners in that scenario.
In that same vein, as an off-shoot, he is deathly afraid of ever coming across his elder brother with Astarion in his company. His older brother, Sythaeryn, is a Twilight Circle druid. Their ENTIRE gig is basically being druids that hunt undead, because undead break the natural order. Tannivh knows if they crossed paths, he'd have to try to find some way to just grab Astarion and run, and hope that his brother wouldn't give chase, because he wouldn't be able to chose between family and lover, and Syth, well, Syth is the kind of guy who wouldn't be able to be easily persuaded out of killing Astarion.
Lastly, a fear that would be more cemented in his mind as the relationship deepened, would be the classic fear of losing Astarion. I feel like, by the time all the events of BG3 are over, Nivh would probably have, in the back of his mind, that feeling of being Astarion's protector, even if the vampire spawn doesn't need him to be. So losing Astarion, be it to death or something else, would be a double whammy. It'd both be a sorrowful loss because he cherishes him, but also a loss because it'd mean he failed him.
Astarion: It's funny because I think Astarion's fears would be more cut and dry.
In the beginning, it's pretty simple: it'd become clear fairly quickly that while Tannivh isn't a monster hunter, he has the exact same skillset, at the end of the day. As they fell bigger and bigger threats, it'd become even clearer that Nivh not only has that skill set, but that he's just dangerous in general. He could competently hunt and kill Astarion, easily, and that wouldn't sit well with the spawn, at least in the beginning. It'd fuel him harder to make sure Tannivh was on his side, was his weapon. That fear would melt away and become a boon once he realizes that there's feels there between them.
After that, I think it'd be similar to Tannivh's own worry of losing Astarion, Astarion would fear losing him. To death, certainly, but more, to Cazador. Such a life would be the opposite of everything Tannivh is -- wild (well, as wild as a fairly quiet guy like him can be) and free, living his life in the sun. Not just that, but everything he feared about Nivh being dangerous would now apply once more, but now as a tool Cazador could use.
Then, aside from those two, one last fear would be the fear of hurting Tannivh. Not so much physically, as Nivh's a big boy and can bounce back from harm fairly easily. Rather, more the emotional or fatal hurt variety. Of course, being what he is, there is always the risk that he might lose control and kill Tannivh. He doubts it could happen, but still. It's a fear.
And them's The Boys.
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essayofthoughts · 2 years
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3 for Kynan, 12 for Cass and Kaylie? NPC hour letsgoo
I will be absolutely honest I don't really think that much about Kynan or Kaylie. So. This'll be a challenge.
Kynan - 3: Drinking headcanon
This boy doesn't drink. He doesn't. He has had maybe a mug or two of ale in all his life, and that more because it was given to him than because he chose it. He grew up with an angry, aggressive father, and I don't doubt that was worse if his father had been drinking: I think there's some chance he's afraid of how he might act without that control.
I think he has maybe a sip or two on a special occasion, when a glass or a tankard has been thrust into his hand, but I think he largely prefers not to drink at all. The guards he works with tease him over that a little, especially as he becomes more significant, mostly to suggest that he's always on the job - but he kind of thinks he is, really. Vax'ildan asked him to keep an eye on things and after Vax is gone... well, he's not going to let him down.
So yeah, I don't think Kynan really drinks much.
Cass & Kaylie - 12: Friendship headcanon
In short, I don't think these two would be friends. They barely had cause to interact in canon and when they were briefly around each other Cass had work and was still (not) dealing with the fallout of the Briarwoods stuff. And, not unlike her father, Kaylie is quite a brash person, bold and also a bit more abrasive; I think she'd rub Cass the wrong way, especially in so immediate an aftermath of everything and with so much on her plate. I don't think they really had much time to get to know each other before Scanlan's departure and I don't think they necessarily cared to get to know each other either. Kaylie may well have thought her proud and a bit up herself and Cass thought her needlessly crude and abrasive - and the end result is, I think they largely brushed by each other.
They might come to get to know each other a little better in the years after Vecna, at Vox Machina and I could see them being passingly friendly with each other, but I don't know that they'd ever necessarily see each other as friends.
Independently, however...
All of Cass' friends from before the Briarwoods are likely dead. Given everything that happened during the occupation too, I imagine she's very hesitant to make new friends for a long time - she doesn't want to be turned against them, doesn't want to lose them and while it's a relief to have her brother back it's also frustrating that he's not there to help. I think the people Cass is most likely to first call friends are actually some of her personal household - her maid, her secretary, her personal guard, etc. - because they're people she sees every day and comes to trust through sheer exposure and experience. Later, after Vecna and with help healing, I think she considers Vex a friend, and perhaps also Pike and Keyleth. I think she has a correspondence with Allura and Kima and perhaps also Assum - I can see her liking him. I think, in time, she's known for having very exclusive tea parties with people she considers friends and potential friends - but I think also that that number remains small for the rest of her life. She's friendly with many - but only considers a few genuine friends.
Kaylie meanwhile I think is kind of the opposite end of the same spectrum, if that makes sense. I think she makes "friends" easily, which is to say she's fantastic at cosying up to people once she knows what makes them tick, can be as irrepressibly and borderline irritatingly charming as her father and can be just as persistent. There are a lot of people who think of her in friendly terms or who consider her a friend. But, in similar terms to Cassandra, I think she rarely actually considers them friends. She knows better than to get attached to people - she saw what it did to her mother regarding Scanlan, she's seen it happen travelling with Dranzel's troupe, she doesn't want to get attached because she knows it hurts. And... she's also very unlikely to show how much she cares except in gruff, abrupt, ways from which she can easily turn back into her more casual self: when she cares she cares strongly, but she'll rarely show it for a long time.
The education Scanlan pays for for her helps. Spending time around other bards who have much the same habits as her helps her to understand herself better through the lens of them, and I think she ends up with a small, tight-knit band of boisterous friends with whom she feels safe being absolutely insulting - but also absolutely vulnerable, safe in the knowledge that they all know where the line is.
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goombasa · 8 days
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Youtube Recommendations: Wha Happun?
If you've been around gaming youtube for any length of time, you've probably come across a few videos by one Matt McMuscles, a Canadian youtuber who is mostly known for covering and showing off a lot of more obscure games, primarily fighting games, beat-em-ups, and occasionally RPGs. He was also a part of the (now discontinued) Super Best Friends Play channel, and collaborates with Maximillian Dood and Justin Wong on the fighting game focused Triple K.O. Podcast. The guy does a lot in the video game space on youtube, and is genuinely entertaining with a level of passion and giddyness that I think is kind of missing in a lot of other gaming-centric youtube channels. He's not over the top or anything, but his more down to earth demeanor, combined with actual experience in the industry (he worked as a QA tester for many years) gives him a fun perspective on what he covers.
And among many of his other projects, he's done some informative and investigative work into the industry, talking about the history of certain series, doing deep dives into a single game where he simultaneously walks you through the experience of playing it, start to finish, while also telling you a bit about its development history, and my recommendation today, his investigative show ‘Wha Happun?’
Anything on his channel is worth watching, in my opinion, but Wha Happun is my favorite. It's a series of investigative videos, focusing on a single subject, and taking you through the development process that led to it being, well, either cancelled or not very good. He's covered a lot of heavy hitters like the exhaustive, constantly changing development of ‘Duke Nukem Forever’ and the lie-filled terror of ‘Aliens: Colonial Marines’ (the reveal that the broken AI of that game was basically due to a single missing letter in the game's code in particular made my eyes pop), but he also has covered more obscure or cult games as well, such as “Four Horsemen," “Vex,” and the original version of “Prey 2”, recent high profile disasters like the remake of ‘Saints’ Row' or the GTA collection or ‘Gollum’.
From games to movies to consoles, whether it turned out good or not, Wha Happun goes through the history and minutae that led to it being the way that it was, and what it took to get there, paying specially attention to how the various high profile names on the projects behaved, and how the staff was treated during its development. A lot of his ire in the ‘L.A. Noir’ is directed at Brendan McNarmara for his constant and consistent abuse of his staff while shifting blame away from himself at every turn, for example. And he goes out of his way to get information and quotations from people who worked on the game at the time, which helps to lend the videos more authenticity rather than just grabbing quotes from, say, Wikipedia.
What I think I love the most about this series is that it really hammers home just how freaking hard it is to get these things made. Whether it's making a game, a movie, or a console, and then doing it all over again and again, there is always something that could potentially hold it up or ruin it, whether it's working with unfamiliar technology, unpleasant people, small budgets, or just unchecked ambition, it's a miracle that this stuff ever sees the light of day, even if the final product isn't what anyone wanted. And sometimes, it doesn't even get that far.
Wha Happun has been running for a long while now (over 200 episodes uploaded over the course of 6 years) and I guarantee that there's at least one episode in that spread that is going to cover something you either care about or have always been really curious about. You can find a full playlist of all the episodes here if you're at all interested, and I'd very much recommend that you peruse it when you have the time. You can also find the link to Matt McMuscles' main channel up at the top of the post, and I'm also going to link to his let's play channel Flophouse Plays because his off-the-cuff  stuff is just as fun as his scripted content.
Recommending Videos
Predator: Concret Jungle: At the time I write this post, this is the most recent video and a good starting point for the typical format that most of the videos follow, walking you through the history of the development of the game, the history of the developers, and the major names that were involved in the development. This one in particular is interesting because of its timing and the license chosen.
Sega Saturn: This isn't the first video done on the troubled history of a particular console, with both the Atari Jaguar and the 3DO being covered before, and the Gamecube being covered just a few episodes later, but I have a bit of a bias for classic Sega, and the Saturn itself is just such an interesting topic, and I think McMuscles explains its history wonderfully.
Daikatana: A lot of the earlier episodes in the series are a lot lighter on details, and also quite a bit shorter. Daikatana however, I feel, is an early episode that is worth going back to because the story of this game is so weird and wild, and its creator, John Romero, is just as interesting to observe as the game he was trying to make.
The Super Mario Brothers Movie:Ho boy, if you ever wanted to know why the 90's Mario movie turned into a bizarre science fiction story, this video lays it all out and discusses at length the various cancelled versions of the movie that we could have had before really get into just what a horror show the filming of the movie was.
Metroid Prime: This is a great example of how even games that are fantastic and beloved can still have had a rough time getting made, and watching this, it really makes you appreciate all the more how good a game like Metroid Prime managed to come out.
TimeSplitters: This is one of the longer episodes, at just under a half hour, but is a great example of how Matt can get really passionate when talking about something that really means a lot to him, or when he's covering something he's particularly disappointed by.
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blorbologist · 1 year
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Cat’s Cradle - Chapter 13
Ch 1 … Ch 12
It occurs to Percy, with great delay, that he’s in a heap of trouble.
This may or may not be in regards to the cat currently wedged behind the toilet.
Curio has been in Vex’s bathroom for a grand total of twenty-seven minutes. The only reason she has not spent all that time in her current hiding spot is because it took her a solid ten to find the courage to leave the cat carrier and bolt for cover. 
Percy isn’t sure he has much of a heart to work with, but whatever is in his chest is beating painfully for the poor thing. Her pupils are blown wide behind her wincing eyes, thankfully drugged out of her little mind. Thank gods for that - Percy had caught one look at the stitches and nearly swallowed his tongue.
It’s one thing for the vet to tell you they’re amputating a leg, another to see the result. Something striking, about how easily such a huge part of her anatomy could just be… gone. 
There’s more to it, of course: Curio’s middle is also shaved, stitched here with a neat incision that Percy was told would dissolve on its own. She got spayed while she was under anesthetic, which - good, it will hopefully make it easier to find a home for her, too. 
She’s also, as it turns out, on several medications for the next ten days.
Meds Percy has to administer, at least for now, because Vex is working ten-hour days (good gods, woman). 
(She’s so run down it makes him want to throttle every occupant of every chair she has to deal with, though he knows it would do her no good. Vex’ahlia is competent, and brilliant at her jobs, and she has no need for a knight in sour armor like himself. He knows something, little somethings, of how her father would throw money at problems to solve them, and Percy is loath to be in any way like that man.)
(But she’s tired. So tired, the bags gathering dust under her eyes. They were lighter, this morning. Like she set them beside his glasses to sleep.)
(That’s the other sort of trouble, consumed by every other beat of his heart, stuttering between sympathy and self-pity. It’s why he’s very determined to focus all his attention on the cat and the kittens and maybe some code later, because these are problems he can solve. And it’s not a problem, anyways, so it’s not like it needs solving.)
There’s a cramp in his leg. Percy shifts, slightly, and Curio’s eyes lock on the movement, ears swiveling. 
Thirty-three minutes, now.  
“Come here, darling,” Percy murmurs, nudging the plate of wet catfood a little closer. It stinks up the space horribly. Maybe he’ll buy her some fancier stuff. Or some tuna. He knows she enjoys tuna. 
Curio does not come here. She does not do much at all, hardly seeming to dare breathe. 
This is going to be a long day. 
--
“I’m sorry!”
Curio wails something that sounds, to a disconcerting degree, like WHY?!
He’s very thankful he bit the bullet and decided to do this before the painkillers wore off. 
Even burritoed, drugged and down one limb, Curio is writhing viciously - he can see where her kittens get it from. The towel bucks and distends with her one-legged kicks and attempts to get her paws free, her dark face pulled back as she tries to free herself of this cruel embrace. If she were not so horrified, the alien grimace would be very funny.
She howls again. 
“This will be so much more pleasant” - Wail - “for both of us” - Wail - “if you’d just” - Wail - “stop wiggling!”
Vex’s neighbors must think him a torturer.
It takes a little shifting to get her head back, and get the catfood-covered (ugh ugh ugh) pill shoved in the back of her throat. He runs his thumb at her throat until she swallows. 
A long-suffering sigh. The ordeal is over. Curio gets a quick once-over, to be sure she’s unharmed by the whole ordeal. He’s fairly sure it was all dramatics, but… he can never be completely sure, especially with her stitches.
Curio stares up at him with eyes more black than blue, whiskers pulled taut.
Percy can say with great confidence that he’s been looked at with seething hatred, before.
From Vax’ildan, once. Cassandra, when she’d thought he had left her to die. Delilah, when she realized she and her husband would be separated and it was because of him. Ripley, literally every time he’d had the misfortune of seeing her.
He knows the look.
This is… different. 
There’s nothing quite like the pure, all-consuming terror of something that does not understand why. Why is this happening, what’s happened, when will it stop. Not directed at a person per say, but the circumstances, and wanting to do anything to seize a moment of control.
He can relate to that.
Percy lets her slip loose as soon as he’s certain she’s swallowed the pill. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, quietly, when Curio hurls herself behind the toilet so quickly the plunger topples.
--
He’s forgiven quickly enough when he creeps back in with a can of tuna. 
Thank goodness.
--
Percy is very grateful that one of the three small windows of the apartment overlooks the parking: it means he can keep an eye out for Vex’s return while he speaks to Keyleth. 
“I’m glad that’s sorted, at least,” he admits, scratching absentmindedly behind Ratchet’s ears before handling her little paws. 
He had read somewhere that it was good to desensitize kittens to all sorts of handling and was doing his best to get ahead of that curve. From common vet prodding to future nail trims, and some of the less gentle petting children are prone to. Being mostly-blind fuzzy potatoes more than cats, they took to this regime with little grace but little protest either. 
There’s a sneaking suspicion he’s shared with Vex that Screwdriver is not the only cerebellar hypoplasia kitten. Though not nearly as noticeable, Sprocket and Spanner both wobble more than their siblings. Convenient, that it’s all the Ss. 
“Yeah,” Keyleth says, backlit by bright sunshine that left this corner of the world hours ago. “I mean - obviously it’s… a lot, and will be, but at least we can stay.”
Vax’ildan and Keyleth had decided, together, to remain in Zephrah another month or so at least while Vilya gets settled. Percy is relieved that his best friend can dedicate her time to supporting her mother and navigating their relationship after over a decade on hold. 
He was just… somewhat banking on Vax being back, soon. Good on him for being by Keyleth’s side through all this, and completely in character for the man. 
It just means Vax can’t take over the half-dozen cats in Percy’s stead. 
It just means Percy would remain in his friends’ room, for the time being. Down the hall from Vex. 
It just means… he is not sure how good a grasp he will have on his sanity after practically being roommates with the woman he is in love with. A woman who, he must underline thrice in his mind, he has kissed. And snuggled with him last night.
Well. Not like he was a shining example of sanity to begin with, but he’d really hoped to cling to more of it. 
“Percy?” 
“Yes.” He startles. “Sorry, Keyleth. It has been a long few days.”
She shrugs beyond the screen, used to his wandering mind. “You’re telling me.”
“Keyleth - are you alright?” Percy loves the woman dearly, like a sister, but she’s prone to giving her every waking moment to a stressor until she’s left shaking and too anxious to sleep.
“Actually? Pretty good, all things considered.” Her giggle is earnest. “Honestly wouldn’t be without Vax, but he’s been dragging me out for fresh air, or getting me to sit and eat something. He’s been great.”
Keyleth’s hazel eyes flit up to the camera.
Here we go again. 
“Sooo… how’s Vex?”
He glances out the window (this is exactly why he’d decided to guard this post). No Vex. 
“She’s well - stressed, but well - though you could ask her as much yourself.”
“How about… you and Vex?”
“That’s none of your business, Keyleth,” he says, clipped.
“I mean,” Keyleth looks like the cat who got the cream. “That totally sounds like it’s going well, too -”
“She crawled into bed with me!” he hisses, like Sprocket might snitch on him. The grey tabby just demonstrates a good crawl of her own - he repositions her on his lap before she treads air. 
“Congrats-”
“No, not congrats.” Percy interrupts her, watching for Vex’s Jeep with somewhat manic energy. Diverting down to the kitten who is very insistent on taking a tumble - just hold still. “We agreed it’s not a good time! With her work schedule - and the kittens! - and without Vax around she’s -”
Keyleth tilts her head in thought, like a bird. “Percy, come on, just - oh!” Her pleasant smile becomes something absolutely stunning, even made dark by the stark sunlight behind her - outshining it, even. “Vax! Hey, honey.”
The video feed wobbles as Keyleth cranes her head upward, beaming, as Vax’ildan presses a delighted smack to her cheeks. He then turns his attention to her phone. “Freddy! How’s Simon? Are you keeping my room tidy? Don’t let Trinket on my bed. Are the kittens walking yet?”
Percy takes care to note the order those came in. “Excellent condition, he ate yesterday. Of course, I’m not a Neanderthal. It’s cleaner than you left it. Trinket is a free agent and I have no control over him, take that up with your sister.” He holds up Sprocket, who mewls in complaint. “Not for lack of trying - but not quite.”
It’s nice touching base with Vax, too, when Keyleth hands him the phone (Vax tends to walk around while on call). Nicer, still, to hand him off to Vex when she walks in, Jeep now resting precisely in its spot in the lot. Right next to Percy’s truck, monopolizing half the guest parking.
(The men both very, very studiously pretend Vax didn’t overhear that bit about Vex.)
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honeymilkk00 · 3 years
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Haikyuu Boys: You Flinch
Pt 2
@silver-argent​ :  Hii! I super looooove the way you wrote Haikyuu Boys: You flinch, perfect amount of angst to fluff! Are you taking requests? If you are, will you please do a Sakusa and Kenma? the you flinch. It's okay if you don't tho! I'll still look forward to your works!❤❤
tysm for the encouraging words!! my requests are open and im more than happy to do Sakusa and Kenma jewbjkew. i hope you enjoy. i'm literally so tired and just wanted to finally get this out <3
characters:
-sakusa
-kenma
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Sakusa
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Dating Sakusa was the last thing you ever thought would happen to you. He filled your days and nights with such love and passion. You had broken through his stoic and cold shell and had seen him for who he truly was deep inside- a loving partner through and through.
Of course, old habits die hard. Since he had spent years of his life being a reserved person, only putting up with his family and teammates, he still was very hesitant when it came to affection. Sometimes all he wanted to do was to be alone with his thoughts and nothing else. It hurt to see him like that, knowing that no matter what, you couldn’t help him, but you understood and gave him the time he needed.
Five months into yours and his relationship had lead to a few disputes, but nothing too serious. He was a prideful, headstrong man which lead to you having to bite your tongue during arguments and keep your snarky words to yourself, refusing to let them slip off the tip of your tongue. If they did, the argument would escalate. 
You loved Sakusa for everything he was, bad parts and good, but sometimes he was too much. 
And, that’s how you were here, biting your lip harshly as you stare at him, refusing to let your anger get the best of you. 
Sakusa had been coming home quite late due to volleyball practise, but it got to the stage where you were scared that he was doing to overwork himself and injure himself. Instead of letting it slide, you confronted him about it and suggested that he should take some time to let his body heal from the strenuous training regimen that he was doing. It seemed that Sakusa wasn’t in the best of moods and had snapped at you, shooting abhorrent words towards you as if you were nothing but a pile of shit, accusing you of restricting him from reaching his full potential and trying to turn him away from volleyball because you were too clingy for his liking. 
“Fucking hell (Y/N), you’re so fucking clingy! Just because you’re an attention whore and want me to worship you doesn’t mean you can try and take me away from what I love doing. You’re so fucking obsessive it’s driving me crazy!” Sakusa bellowed and clenched his hands together, his nails digging into his hands. 
Taking a deep breath to keep yourself as calm as possible, you spoke in a soft tone, “Omi, I’m not trying to keep you from anything. I just think you should rest your body before you overwork yourself and become ill or injure yourself. I know you want to improve but that can happen gradually over time. I doesn’t need to happen all at once.” You murmured and gently placed a hand on his, trying to reassure him.
Letting out a deep, angered growl, Sakusa pulled away from your grip harshly and pushed your hand away, “don’t fucking touch me! You’re fucking disgusting! All you do is hold me down and try and control my life, you obsessive pest!” He hollered out.
His words ripped open your chest and stabbed you in the heart repeatedly. You felt like you were choking on your own heartbeat. It hurt knowing that your lover found you disgusting. A strong feeling of rage surged through your veins. “How fucking dare you, Sakusa! I’ve done nothing but tried to help you and all you do is treat me like shit. Every time we argue I have to bite my tongue because I know that if I retaliate, you’ll just get even more angry. I can’t express how I feel to you anymore and I feel as if I don’t matter in this relationship. If you want to overwork yourself and injure yourself then fine, go ahead, but don’t blame me for saying I told you so after it’s happened!”
His eyes narrowing at your words, Sakusa swiftly turned to glare at you and raised his fist, poking your chest aggressively, “Fine, I will then because I’m not letting you control me anym-” He paused mid sentence, his eyes widening when he noticed you flinching when he raised his hand. Slowly, he lowered his hand and dropped them at his sides. Your shaking figure made his heart clench painfully tight. “(Y/N) I-”
“I can’t do this anymore, Sakusa.” You voice whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Tears rolled down your cheeks and you sniffled quietly. “I can’t handle this pain anymore. I can’t handle feeling like I’m walking on egg shells with you. I can’t handle being afraid of how you’ll react when I speak about how I feel. I just can’t do this anymore.” You voice got quieter and quieter the more you spoke. Looking up at Sakusa, you swallowed thickly. “I can’t do us anymore.” 
Sakusa was frozen, watching you carefully. It was deathly silent. The only sound he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat beating rapidly. 
“I’ll pick up my things tomorrow. I’m going to stay at Atsumu’s for the night.” You whispered and turned away, heading towards the front door. 
A small, almost whine-like noise left Kiyoomi’s mouth. He reached out and clasped your hand gently, tears forming in the corner’s of his eyes. “Please.” He begged quietly.
Looking back at the man you loved, your heart shattered into small pieces when you noticed his dampened eyes. Never had you seen him cry before. “What is it?” You asked quietly, biting the inside of your cheek.
Sakusa pulled you in tightly for a hug and pressed his lips against your cheek gently. “Please don’t leave. Please please please… I’m so so sorry (Y/N).. I didn’t mean anything I said. I love you and I’m grateful for everything you do for me. I’ve just had a really bad day. Please I love you. Please don’t leave. You’re my baby... “ He pleaded softly and held you tightly, as if afraid that you’d disappear if he let go. 
Letting out a sigh, you caved in. You were still mad at him but at the end of the day, you loved Kiyoomi more than anything else. You would give up everything for his happiness. “Kiyoomi...” You whispered softly and then turned around so you were face to face with him. Gently cupping his cheeks, you sighed, “I love you so so much Kiyoomi... But you can’t say stuff like that to me even if you’ve had a bad day. You really really hurt me even though I was just trying to look out for you.” You explained and frowned softly, kissing his tears that resided in the corner of his eyes. 
Pressing his lips softly against your hands that rested on his face, he let out a shaky breath that he didn’t realise he was holding, “I know... I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I promise I’ll do better..” He whispered gently and pressed his nose into your hair lovingly. “I love you so much...”
Leaning in closer to Sakusa, you inhaled his scent, “I love you too, Omi..”
He never wanted to see you flinch like that again.
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Kenma
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Kenma was an erudite genius when it came to the art of strategy. His deep understanding of the game and the unspoken pledge to win is what drove him forward and kept him reaching, grasping, clutching for new strategic idea that would leave his opponents breathless.
For days, maybe even weeks, on end, Kenma would be researching, training, and repeating the process until he felt confident in his methodology that would be used in a game. Thus, led to a breakdown. After weeks of undereating, lack of sleep, training beyond his physical capabilities, and his mental strain thinking of ways to defeat the opposing team, Kenma was at his wits’ end. 
As his partner, you immediately noticed the changes in his personality. Of course, concern was your initial reaction and you were somewhat frightened of irritating him more, but you knew you had to confront him about his lack of self care. Seeing him train during lunch and falling asleep in lessons led you to realise how hard he was working himself. 
So, after school you managed to pull him to one side before he proceeded to train at the club. A frown was present on your lips and you took a deep breath. Looking at him now hurt a lot: his eyebags had considerably increased since the last time you saw him; you could now see physically where he had lost weight from undereating for weeks; his eyes seemed a lot duller; his body slouched over slightly, as if it was begging for a break. It was agony to see your partner slowly harm his body and mind like this.
"Kenma, just know I love you so much and I understand that volleyball means a lot to you right now since it's your final year with your team as you know it with Kuroo as captain, but look at yourself. You're not taking care of yourself at all. You aren't helping you or your teammates by undereating and not sleeeping." You murmured gently, taking Kenma's hands in your own. You knew that you had to be careful and not push your boyfriend, but you couldn't let it continue.
Kenma simply frowned at your words and pulled his hand away from yours, "(Y/N), I don't need your lecturing. I'm perfectly fine taking care of myself. I don't need you." He hissed out and turned his back on you, proceeding to head to practise. He had no time to waste on pointless conversations.
(Y/N) grinded their teeth together, their heart aching slightly at the harsh words, "I'm not lecturing you, Kenma! I'm doing what a s/o should do and I'm looking out for you! Please just take a small break before you overdo it!" You hallooed, as if that would make the words sink in.
Vexed, Kenma turned around with a deep scowl on his face, "Why don't you just back off, (Y/N)!? I don't care about you right now, all I care about is me and my teammates winning this game!" He shrieked, which caused you to trip back and swallow thickly.
A small whimper escape your lips and tears formed in the corners of your eyes as you flinched. You were normally fine with Kenma's salty attitude, but he never usually shouted at you. Taking a shaky breath, you looked at your boyfriend dead in the eyes, "fine! Do what you want to do! Since you don't care about me I won't bother anymore! Don't you fucking dare come running to me when you overwork yourself and can't handle it anymore!" You retorted and turned away.
Kenma's eyes widened slightly at your words as he watched you turn away. "Wait...." He whispered out, his hand reaching towards yours. Lightly, he grasped your wrist and sighed, pulling you close and burying his head in your shoulder. "'M sorry... I'm just so stressed..." Tears brimmed his eyes and he sniffled softly. "I didn't mean it..."
Letting out a soft sigh, your shoulders relaxed and you pulled your lover in for a cuddle. "I know you didn't mean it baby... But remember your health comes first, volleyball after." You whispered and gently stroked his hair. He simply nodded in response and hugged you tighter.
Maybe you both could work things out. You just need to learn to communicate more.
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