#think my brain has just been permanently altered and I’m cool with that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lildoodlenoodle · 9 months

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First things first(spoilers for spiderverse/spidergeddon and comic noir storyline) this is a long post but you’ll have fun I promise. As always feel free to engage with the post, I’d love to hear different theories/opinions/conclusions on this in the tags or comments. Sorry it took so long!

Now I’m gonna say something morbid:

Spider Noir’s death in the comics was hilarious

Jarring, but hilarious. Like why’d he grab him like that. I physically had to shut off my iPad and go for a walk after this scene when I first read it.

But to my point, you know how some people say your birth mark is how you died in your last life?

Well post resurrection we might have A, B, and C:

(Now before anyone gets on me for, why would you do that/even think of this? In my defense, I couldn’t remember where he was grabbed, it’s been a while since I’ve read these. I thought it was gonna be on his back or shoulder and I’d give him a burned on handprint going all ‘gripped you tight and raised from perdition’ which is cool, fun, sexy, and conveniently hidden. Then I reread it and it’s basically a permanent face palm. Also pretend his face looks the same in every one. Couldn’t decide on hair either lol.)

Either way post resurrection Peter should have physical after effects of his resurrection. Either lines all over his body from having the life force sucked out of him or birth/burn marks on his face. I think this would be hilarious, angsty, and interesting. I also hate when people are just resurrected willynilly. LET THE TRAUMA OF DYING AND COMING BACK TAKE ITS TOLE. Especially if it’s multiple times.

In MK: Midnight Mission they, pretty recently, came up against this problem with the MK system being resurrected over and over again and facing really no visible consequences. But then we find out, there isn’t really a limit(ignoring the whole Khonshu imprisonment), but eventually mentally, there will be nothing left to resurrect. And the mindless mummy warrior creatures we meet from Khonshu’s ‘world’ were old avatars that wasted away from resurrections. It explains the alterations and perversions of the MK system’s mental conditions, because they are actively being altered and changed, to be brought back, by a multidimensional creature that doesn’t care about their mental health/state(that Khonshu takes advantage of, knowing what he’s doing). Sound familiar?

Now, time to get philosophical. Ship of Theseus.

What is it? Ship of Theseus is an ideological/philosophy problem about a king, Theseus, who saved the children of Athens from king Minos and the Minotaur and then sailed his ship to Delos. Then each year Athenians would sail that same ship from Athens to Delos in celebration of the myth. Over time they kept replacing parts of the ship for maintenance purposes, till every plank had been replaced, so they could still make the voyage. Now the question is, is it still the same ship? At what point did it stop becoming that original ship? And does it matter?

Applying this philosophical exercise to resurrection, with what we know above, we can get an interesting dialogue going. But, with that said, it’s important to keep in mind that the resurrection process in this context with these multidimensional gods isn’t explained with enough detail to really take it apart. Like what happens to the soul? Is the brain damage we know Marc has from repeatedly dying and his brain repeatedly going without oxygen or is it from just interacting with a multidimensional god? Is the spider god comparable to Khonshu? Is the spider god even real, if not what or how was Peter actually resurrected? And if it is real, what is its main goal? At least with Khonshu we know he has an agenda. What does it want, what’s its end game?

But let’s get into it anyways.

Now, you may be wondering, why do I keep saying multiple resurrections in regards to Spider noir? I am so glad you asked! I believe Peter's initial spider bite killed him. He had to go to the afterlife to actually see the spider god. That’s why we really only see them three times, at the initial power conception, Peter’s resurrection, and when Peter goes to the ‘underworld’ in the 2020 run. We see something similar with Khonshu in Midnight mission, while he’s in space jail, Marc can only see him during resurrections or while he’s dead. And while we’re comparing the MK system to spider noir, when Marc got his powers, he basically had to die first. That was implied to be his first resurrection. So this wouldn’t be a one off situation. We have some rules.

What we don’t see with Moonknight and Khonshu is visual physical change. Outside of the ghost bird skull armor the boys aren’t visually changing. Meanwhile, Peter has physically turned into a monster before and turned completely back. In #4/5 of the 2020 noir run the cicada stone/pink meteor turns people into monsters, but not everyone. Huma turns, Shocker turns, Peter turns, and all the resurrected villains(one guy just explodes). But Hu-Ri and Checkpoint Red don’t, until Hu-Ri touches the stone. Huma and Peter are both in close proximity to eldritch beings, them turning into inspired versions of those beings make sense. The Shocker turns because he spent so much time holding onto the stone, whereas Red hasn't. But notice Shocker and Hu-Ri don’t turn into an animal inspired version of themselves like Huma and Peter do, he becomes more of a hulk like creature, because he isn’t attached to an other-worldly being. And when Peter turned back he essentially said “that hurt like a bitch” and kept moving.

If we want to keep with the canon noir timeline and going with the idea that the Spider god is either continuously changing Peter, or just changing him during resurrections this would explain the webbing and mood/personality change from the 2009 comics to the 2020 comics. But that’s boring and too simple and I hate the time jump so fuck that shit.(again another post).

So let’s focus back on ‘Ship of Theseus’ in the context of resurrection. We have too many questions about the process of resurrection for spider noir to properly have this conversation, but I’m going to try anyways. Let’s hit what we know again: resurrection changes your brain chemistry/structure, the spider god is changing Peter throughout the series, Peter has possibly had three resurrections, the spider god resurrected Peter from a different dimension, which confirms this is a multidimensional being(if she exists but shhhh). So now that we’ve established that there are changes happening to Peter(one way or another) we know that the spider god is ‘repairing’ Peter throughout the series or ‘replacing his boards’ so to speak.

At what point is this no longer Peter? Is it when he is no longer recognizable as a human? Or is it when there is nothing left in his mind to resurrect? Or has this never been Peter, or rather not since his first resurrection when he got his powers? Is this change sudden or slow? Is it the resurrection that turns him into something else, is it slow build up like an Iodine Clock titration and one day he just wakes up no longer human, or is it a slow process of subtle changes? But if the latter, what’s the change that does it? What defines Peter’s humanity? Does it matter if he’s human or not? Does it change anything for him if he’s no longer human in body and mind?

Part of the answer may lie in the villains we see through the 2009 and 2020 runs. In the first run the main villains were the Goblin and the Vulture. Both who were implied to not be human or having physical inhuman qualities(but I’m partially ignoring the whole carney thing cause honestly it’s ableist and boring). In Eyes Without A Face, the second run, the main villains are the Crime Master and Dr. Octavious, both humans with no inhuman or supernatural qualities. For simplicity sake, let’s focus on Octavious and Goblin. In comparing the two I think most people would agree Octavious is the more heinous of the two. Goblin takes on the role of a mob boss. He runs a crime empire, exploiting the defenseless in New york. It’s nothing new and he’s even somewhat sympathetic ‘I’m finished with freakshows’, you can understand how he got where he is. This is not to say he isn’t a villain but he very much fits the ‘villain with a tragic backstory’. People look at him like he is a monster, we, the reader, start out the story knowing what he is.

Whereas Octavious is not even remotely sympathetic because there is no empathizing with how he ended up there and why he does what he does. He is not only othered by his actions but also by the narrative for his disability(it’s important to acknowledge the ableism in his story but that is another post). Ultimately his delusions and the acts he commits make him a much more sinister monster than Norman, despite Norman actually having stereotypical qualities of a monster.

Then we have Huma and Shocker from the 2020 run. Huma is the closest person we see who is in a similar situation to Peter in terms of the spider god. While we don’t know all the details, whether she is the same as Peter, bearing a curse of power, or the actual god. Either way she presents as human and is not treated differently than any other human woman. At the end of the series we realize how corrupt she is and that she’s been working with Nazi’s, not necessarily for the ideology but to achieve what she wants. Her transformation is the nail in her coffin of her monsterous perception. The question is did we need her to look like a monster to see her as one?

In general we are left with more questions and theories than answers.

But onto my subjective answers to the questions. My answers might change over time so don’t hold me to them.

Of course it matters if Peter has humanity. Peter Parker across the board is one of the characters who HAS to hold himself to a moral code or he falls apart and becomes the villain(well maybe not the villain but you know what I mean) of the story. He holds back during fights and has a no kill policy for a reason.(Good men don’t need rules, today is not the day to find out why I have so many.-dr.who) But noir Peter isn’t your typical Peter. He kills, he maims, he doesn’t hold back. With that said, he still is held together by his morality. It’s just different than what we are used to seeing from Peter, but don’t mistake that as a lack of morality. However, do I think it’s a very real possibility that this morality could be eroded over time especially considering his home world and the above circumstances? Absolutely. Peter is someone who historically needs someone to ground him and ‘make’ him human. This is normally May Parker, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, occasionally Harry Osborn, Daredevil, Johnny Storm, and Flash Thompson, and the ghost of Ben Parker. Dude lives by a passing saying of a dead relative, he clearly doesn’t have a super solid moral compass. I think this is part of the reason the noir comics kept his relationship with May and Mary Jane(I disagree but whatever whatever), because he needs support to stay grounded.

Now, under what circumstances is Peter no longer Peter? I’m going with the Iodine Clock titration theory. Just drop after drop of ‘changes’ and morally questionable decisions that don’t seem to hold much weight, until he does something truly off the reservation. Like seeing himself do something truly horrific that a couple years ago he would have never done and shocking himself out of it. Or looks in the mirror and doesn’t see a person staring back. For either circumstance, because he’s appalled with himself or struck by the fact he doesn’t really care. This is not to say I don’t think he could come back from this but holy shit will it be a process.

But it brings us back to ‘If there is too much power then it is the responsibility of the people to take it away.’ Peter losing his humanity puts him in the Goblin’s place as the one with great power that cannot be trusted from the first comic. Whether it’s the resurrections, the spider god ‘replacing’ parts of him, or him just being pushed to the brink mentally that does it. Whether the change is physical, neurological, spiritual, or mental. This ‘Peter’ is not the Peter we first meet in 1932.

This is a different ship, and you can sail and stay on the same course in memory of, or under the false pretense of being, the original as many times as you want, but you cannot bring back the parts you replaced and undo the ‘improvements’ you made. But that doesn’t need to make Peter a monster.

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averagewriter-inthedark · 1 year

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Love Across the Galaxy 🌌 | Helmut Zemo Imagine

Contains spoilers for GOTG Vol.3

Link to my Marvel masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Baron Helmut Zemo x Roman Goddess/Guardians!reader (romantic), The Thunderbolts—Baron Zemo, Bucky Barnes, Thaddeus Ross, Valentina Alegra De Fontaine, John Walker, Ghost, Justin Hammer, Taskmaster, Yelena, & Red Hulk (platonic), The Guardians of the Galaxy—Quill, Mantis, Nebula, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Kraglin, & Cosmo (platonic)

Content Warnings: profanity, light angst, fluff, mentions of death, fighting & violence, spoilers for GOTG Vol.3 (don’t read if you haven’t seen it!) | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.9k

Requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Premise: In which Baron Helmut Zemo, hater of the Avengers and desire to rid the planet of enhanced beings, becomes a member of the antihero team led by General Thaddeus Ross & CIA Director Valentina Fontaine where he meets the legendary group of misfits turned Guardians of the freakin Galaxy and loses his heart to a Goddess with a love for 80s music and talent for cutting of limbs.

Note: GOTG Vol 3 has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot stop thinking about it. Truly the best film since Endgame & it’s inspired me cause I’m also back to loving Zemo again. I refuse to believe Marvel would give us a Thunderbolts film w/o Zemo so I will make sure he’s in this team.

After learning about all the Gods in Thor: Love & Thunder, picture you are Minerva, the Roman Goddess of Wisdom & War (Roman equivalent to the Greek’s Athena) and has cosmic powers similar to the Eternal’s Thena and has been with the Guardians since the events of the first GOTG film.

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Fall 2023

“I don’t see why we need these people to help us,” Zemo rolled his eyes, strolling beside General Ross with the rest of the team around them. Once outside the cool breeze hit him, ruffling the lapels of his coat as his eyes squinted from the bright light.

Ross lets out a tired sigh, “Because, Zemo, as much as it galls me to admit it this threat is far beyond what we can deal with. It’s not terrestrial and chances are these…” he had trouble coming up with the word, “let’s just say they’re more experienced for this situation.”

They all stop before the flight line. It’s clear all around them with no sign of an approaching vessel.

“Who are these guys again?” Justin Hammer popped some jelly beans in his mouth. John looks down at the file in his hands, making a face as he does.

“They call themselves…The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

“Oh God,” Bucky moans, immediately making mental notes to protect his mental arm knowing a certain talking animal was on the hunt for it. He was gonna have to sleep with one eye open.

Zemo raises his brow, “Friends of yours, James?” Bucky is not pleased by the assumption.

“I wouldn’t call them that.”

“Aren’t they part of the Avengers?” Ava’s tone is slightly disapproving. While Scott Lang and the Pym/Van Dyne’s helped her, she still got bad rep despite doing what she did to survive.

Zemo, not happy with the idea of working with Avengers, snatches the file from Walker.

“Not technically,” Ross replies while Zemo reads over the page. “They arrived with Thor in 2018 against the first battle with Thanos, remained an associate to the team while continuing whatever the hell it is they do in space, and returned in 2023 to defeat the purple bastard once and for all.”

“Did you fight with them, Bucky?” Yelena asks from beside the soldier.

“Yeah,” the memory appears in his mind. Specifically where he grabbed Rocket by the scruff and spun them in circles to cover more area as they fired off their guns. “Our interactions were brief…but memorable.”

The Baron had seen many things over the years, like the rest of humanity with the formation of the Avengers and reveal of intergalactic and enhanced beings, but to stay he wasn’t thinking, ‘what the fuck?’ by the picture in front of him would be a lie.

An earthling turned ravager, a blue mercenary, a woman with antennas, a genetically engineered raccoon, a living tree, a gray alien that could take down Thor, a man with a metal Mohawk, a telekinetic dog, and an exiled sword wielding Goddess. All misfits and outcasts, mostly space criminals turned superhero guardians of the cosmos.

Well….they were quite the bunch.

“They are not still with the Avengers, I take it?” Zemo wanders around, eyes lingering on the Goddess. White streaks adorned her natural hair color, eyes gold and lips painted with what appeared to be a permanent smirk. She wore a gold and white headpiece that had an owl extending its wings.

Name/Alias: Minerva, Goddess of War; Race: Deity; Planet of Origin: Caelum; Age: approx. 2500 yrs (39 Earth yrs); Occupation: Warrior/Mercenary/Defender of the Andromeda Galaxy; Allegiance: The High Council of Caelum (formerly), Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor, God of Thunder, The Avengers (formerly); Abilities: Cosmic manipulation, enhanced strength, agility, speed, & durability, thermal detection & mental teleportation; Specialization: artillery and battle strategy.

Ross let out a sigh, “only when the planet is about to go to shit due to an intergalactic threat. Which we’ve now got on our hands, but considering the Avengers are all on sabbatical I’m sending you in,” he checks his watch, “but I need all the extra hands and like I said, they’re experienced.”

Zemo stares at the blank sky, “How will we know they've arrived?”

“Believe me,” Ross mutters under his breath. “You’ll know.”

A loud rumbling noise caught everyone’s attention, gazes turning upward as a hexagon shaped breech in the sky revealed a very large spaceship in its wake, followed by the distinct lyrics of AC/DC’s ‘Back to Black.’

“Back in black. I hit the sack. I’ve been too long, I’m glad to be back. Yes, I’m let loose. From the noose. That’s kept me hanging about.”

“Oh my,” Yelena breathed out, hair flying back from the gust of wind. Zemo lifted a hand to cover his face from the leaves, as did the others, many wide eyed.

“I’ve been looking at the sky. ‘Cause it’s gettin’ me high. Forget the hearse ‘cause I never die. I got nine lives. Cat’s eyes. Abusin’ every one of them running wild.”

“Great song,” Justin voiced, grinning from ear to ear. The ship made its descent, music getting louder.

“‘Cause I’m back. Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back,” it approached the tarmac, “Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back, back.” wheels hit the tarmac, engine powering down but music still blasting, “Well, I’m back in black,” the ship doors opened, revealing steps extending to the ground, “Yes, I’m back in black.”

It was almost like a scene from a movie. Slow-motion if one will by how the Guardians exited their ship and stepped foot on the tarmac with AC/DC on full volume. All dressed in their new suits of red and blue leather with the Ravager flames on the chest.

Arriving in style.

Quill led with the rest flanking his sides. Drax munching on snacks while Nebula looked menacing and Groot towered over everyone. Cosmo had her tongue out in excitement, Rocket carrying his gun strapped to his back. Mantis’s chin held high, like she was on top of the world and Kraglin trying not to appear lost. Lastly Minerva was drinking a caprisun, Ray Bans covering her gold eyes.

Zemo tilts his head in amusement at the sight. He expected the Goddess, of war nonetheless, to have a more menacing approach like Nebula considering her reputation. But she was just as relaxed and laid back as Drax.

The Guardians walked several paces until they were directly in front of the Thunderbolts. It was then the music stopped, Ross being the first to address them. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

Quill gave a smug grin, “We know.” Hands go to his hips, “You’re wearing a suit so you must be the boss man. Although I believe there’s also a boss lady we’re here to do business with.”

“Director Fontaine is currently occupied. She’ll be arriving in the morning.”

“I assume we won’t be knowing a damn thing until that happens, huh?”

Ross tightens his lips, “You assume correctly.”

“I told you we should’ve handled it on our own,” Minerva’s glances to Quill annoyed. Surprised by her voice, Zemo's eyebrows raised at her sudden input. Her accent was slightly Italian given her mythological origin is Roman.

Quill clicked his tongue, “We don’t have authority here, Minnie.”

“Midgard is part of the Andromeda Galaxy. Technically we should.”

Now the man was giving her a pointed look after Ross’s body language turned defensive, “I’d rather not get our asses thrown in Earth’s prison system. We go by the rules—the ones we established.”

Minerva grumbles under her breath, finishing the last remnants of her juice pouch, “Would’ve finished the job faster. They wouldn’t even know we were here.”

“Okay well, we’re doing things this way. We’re here as a team to work with a team. Right, Mr. Secretary?”

Ross’ disapproving eyes linger on Minerva, who in return rolls her own, before turning his attention back to Quill, “Yes. Now let’s move on shall we?”

He lets out a breath of relief, “Agreed.” Bidding a warning look to each of his teammates, they all wait for what the man in the suit has to say. Ross extends a hand to the people on either side of him.

“This is my team. All with different levels of skill and experience. Justin Hammer is our tech and weapons specialist,” Justin gives a wave, “Yelena Belova,” Ross points to the blonde in a white tactical suit, “former Black Widow and master assassin.” At the mention of Black Widow Rocket, Nebula, and Minerva all tense, faces becoming solemn at the memory of Natasha. They were the three remaining Guardians during the blip, becoming close with the Avenger.

“Ava Starr, she can phase through anything,” they all look impressed, finding the talent cool. “Antonia Dreykov, who we like to call Taskmaster.”

“Why’s that?” Kraglin asked intrigued.

“She has photographic reflexes and can mimic your fighting powers. Basically use your own moves against you.”

“Niceeee,” all the Guardians echo. Ross points to the two individuals in between Zemo and Yelena.

“Our super soldiers, Captain John Walker and I believe you all know Sergeant Barnes.” Bucky tightens his mouth with a curt nod.

“You still got that arm on ya?” Rocket muses, earning a nudge—well more like a kick—from Minerva. The rest of the Thunderbolts besides Bucky all become wide-eyed at the talking Raccoon…even though it said on the file he could.

But how the fuck else were they suppose to react to a talking raccoon?

All Bucky does is glare, “Don’t even think about it.” Rocket shrugs, “Worth a shot.”

“Why is that one carrying a giant frisbee?” Drax’s mouth is filled with Zargnuts. Walker, the man in question, becomes visibly offended.

“It’s a shield not a frisbee.” Zemo bites back a smirk at the soldier's tone. Not to mention the Guardians' reactions were priceless.

“A shield?” Mantis repeats confused.

“It’s a frisbee,” Drax mumbles.

“Like that circular object Minerva conjures to deflect attacks,” Nebula tiredly explains. Mantis’s mouth forms the shape of an ‘o’.

“And lastly,” Ross sounds just as exhausted as the cyborg, “Baron Helmut Zemo, former intelligence operative.”

“I am Groot,” Zemo’s attention goes to the tree alien, confused by his words. Minerva, seeing his expression, addresses it, “He says he likes your fancy cape.”

‘Cape?’ He thinks, but doesn’t comment on it and his perplexed reaction makes Minerva smirk. Instead Zemo says, “Well, I appreciate the compliment. Thank you.” Groot’s pleased, grinning wide like a child.

It’s then Quill’s turn to formally introduce the Guardians. The Thunderbolts bite back their own amusement at the nicknames and surprise of hearing the dog, Cosmo, speak through her suit with a distinct Russian accent. Afterwards Ross leads them all into the hangar, Minerva removing her sunglasses now that she was inside, allowing her gold eyes to be visible.

From there they all interact, awkwardly for the most part as they have no idea what the hell to do as they wait for further instruction. It soon becomes bickering and even challenging someone in hand-to-hand combat.

Well, what can you expect when a team of heroes meet a team of villains/anti heroes? Rivalry at its finest.

“Any day now, Quill,” Minerva groans, relaxing her stance. Across from her several feet away was Walker, confused by why she was taking so long to attack. They were standing in the middle of the squared off area with the teams surrounding them, but giving enough space to avoid being in the crossfire. Quill was scrolling through his Walkmen.

“What’s he doing?” Zemo whispers to Kraglin, eyes flicking back and forth from the human Guardian and the Goddess.

“Trying to find a good fight song. You know, get the vibes going.” Out on the square Minerva lets out a loud huff signaling her annoyance was increasing.

“Just give me another second—.”

“Quill.”

“I almost got it.”

“Pick a goddamn song!”

“Fine!” Quill shouts, randomly selecting the first one his finger hits. A second later Duran Duran’s ‘Hungry Like the Wolf,’ blasts through all the speakers attached to the Guardians arms. The antiheroes become perplexed, while also noting the song choice. Justin and Yelena started to bop their heads.

“Darken the city, night is a wire. Steam in the subway, earth is afire. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

Minerva smirked, retaking her stance. As she lifts her hands, cosmic energy around her consorts to physical matter, taking the shape of a spear and shield in either hand. Wide eyes take over the Thunderbolts.

“Woman, you want me, give me a sign. And catch my breathing even closer behind. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

“Wow,” Justin exhales. “In touch with the ground. I’m on the hunt, I’m after you.”

“That’s so cool,” Yelena muses, others muttering in agreement. “Smell like the sound, I'm lost in the crowd. And I’m hungry like the wolf.” Keeping his admirations to himself, Zemo watches the scene unfold in silence.

“First one to step or get thrown out of the square loses,” Bucky shouts over the music, “Ready….” Walker clutches the strap of his shield, Minerva twirling her spear once, “Fight!”

“Stalked in the forest, too close to hide,” Walker lets out a cry, charging at the Goddess. “I’ll be upon you by the moonlight side (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do,” Minerva blocks his attack, pushing back slightly only to crouch to swipe at his legs, “High blood drumming on your skin, it’s so tight,” Walker dodges her spear, but fails to avoid her kick to his chest, sending him backward. “You feel my heat, I’m just a moment behind.” He brings his shield up in time as her spear barrels down at him. “Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.”

They continue their one-on-one for several minutes, both coming close to getting the other out of the square and the song changing to ‘Cherry Bomb’ by The Runaways—a favorite amongst the Guardians. The entire time Zemo was mesmerized to say the least. Every move she made was effortless, showcasing strengths and ability to predict Walker's moves.

He hadn’t felt such attraction to a woman in so long. And here he was experiencing a feeling that was almost unfamiliar.

Ultimately Minerva wins the battle in what one would call a divine move. At the peak of the song, Minerva’s golden eyes glow bright resulting in the eyes of the owl headpiece to also glow and become animated. It takes form, coming to life and soars straight at Walker, throwing him off by covering his face.

“What the—uuugh!!” He’s flying through the air, back meeting the harsh ground with an audible groan. The owl leaves him, returning to Minerva and consorting back into a headpiece. When it does her eyes dim back to their normal hue. Her team broke out into whistles and hollars, meanwhile Walker’s were unimpressed.

“Guardians for the win!” Rocket cheered.

“I am Groot!”

“Never underestimate the power of Duran Duran!”

Minerva helps Walker up, “Not bad, soldier.” As she turns to head off the pad, her eyes lock with Zemo’s and a wink is sent his way. Heat rises in the Baron, glancing away to hide his smirk.

Oh boy, trouble was on the horizon.

Next Yelena went against Nebula. Their fight was even more intense and nearly ended in a draw. Eventually Yelena overpowered the cyborg and got her to step out of the square. It was a tie. Groot and Rocket teamed up against Ross in the form of the Red Hulk—which took a lot of convincing—the two claiming the win after fooling the General. Taskmaster beat out Quill, handing his ass to him which had the Guardians in a heap of laughter.

“I enjoyed that more than I should have,” Minerva teases, crossing her arms as she takes a spot beside Zemo. He glances at her, mirroring her expression.

“Not a common occurrence for your friend to lose a fight?”

She scoffs, “You’d be surprised by his record.”

Lastly Bucky went toe-to-toe with Drax, and of course Rocket had to yell, “Take his arm and give it to me!” And well….it ended with them tackling each other out of the square.They didn’t know who won at that point, so the teams were tied 2-2 initiating a debate on who should be crowned the best.

“Okay, let’s call it a day,” Ross announces, ending the squabbling between the groups. “Night’s upon us and frankly I could use a drink. We’ll return here first thing in the morning—7am sharp to discuss the threat and where to go,” he turns to Quill, “we’ve got sleeping quarters arranged for you all if you please. Otherwise my guess is you’ll remain in your ship?”

About an hour later, after both teams settled for the night, Zemo decided to take a walk around the flight line. It became a habit of his since joining the Thunderbolts. A way to clear his mind after a long day of briefings and training. He basked in the peace that came with being alone, but there were times he felt lonely and longing for company to share the peace with.

Ten years since losing his family and the pain never strayed. Yet, he managed to live with it. He accomplished his goal in 2016 when he tore apart the Avengers. Likely is to blame for the loss against Thanos resulting in half of the universe’s population turning into dust for five years.

Did he feel remorse for the consequences of his actions? Possibly. Did he regret it? No. At this rate he’s accepted the reputation he painted himself to be.

“Zemo, correct?” The sudden intrusion spooked the Baron, jumping slightly by the glowing eyes in the darkness. A moment later Minerva stepped into the lighting, eyes dimming to normal. She was still in her suit, though her hair was pulled back, white streaks seeping through the natural color.

“Yes, but you may call me Helmut,” he replied, nodding in greeting to the Goddess.

“Helmut,” she tests the name, “like the headwear people use when they ride bikes or spacesuits?”

“That’s one way to look at it, but yes I suppose so.”

“Interesting. What brings you out this late in the evening?”

He shrugs, “wanted to get away from the constant complaining of my comrades,” eyes go to the sky, “and I like to admire the stars.” Minerva moves to his right, glancing up as well.

“They’re much more incredible up close.” He peers down at her, not bothering to question her judgment. She lives in space after all.

“I bet so. I’m sure the view from here is nothing compared to what you’ve witnessed.”

She shrugs, “These stars you don’t even know if they’re still alive. It took years—possibly millions—for the light to reach Earth.” Zemo looks back up, focusing on the North Star.

“For all we know they burnt out ages ago.”

Their eyes connect, Zemo feeling a weight on his chest by the intensity of her gaze. It’s followed by unease when she says, “Natasha told me about you.”

Instantly he looks away, feeling an unfamiliar wave of dread. “Ah.” Here was a discussion he was not expecting, nor willing, to have.

But Minerva didn’t show criticism. In fact, her gaze and tone resembled understanding. “How do you do it?” The question took him aback.

“Do what, exactly?”

“Align yourself with people who go against what you stand for?” Minerva’s tone wasn’t condescending at all, only curious. “Most of your team are enhanced individuals—two are super soldiers to be exact. You went to many lengths to disband the Avengers and put an end to superheroes,” there’s a slight tilt of her head, eyeing the Baron with intrigue, “but you join a group consisting of people who fall between the spectrum of hero and villain where most are the exact thing you wished to eradicate. Not to mention led by two people you wouldn’t say you share similar moral values with. Why join them?”

For the first time in his life, Zemo was at a loss for words. Not a single word uttered as he tried to comprehend what Minerva had just confronted him with. How could he explain? Hell, he didn’t even know the real truth other than wanting to stay out of his cell. A big price to pay in exchange for freedom.

Minerva spoke again before he could respond, “I once committed an act similar to you,” the surprise is evident on Zemo, “Vengeance against those who were responsible for the death of my loved ones. It’s why I was exiled,” a frown appears, her attention returning to the stars. “So I understand you, probably better than anyone here. Understand why you committed those acts to destroy the Avengers. I don’t fault you for what you did—if I did it would make me a hypocrite. You’re not the villain Ross and the Avengers made you out to be.”

“How so?” His voice is strained, “what have you lost?” He didn’t mean to come off as defensive, but the conversation was bringing up emotions Zemo didn’t want to face.

“As Goddess of War all I knew was bloodshed. How to prevent it and how to fight it. Battle strategy was my domain, and the High Council knew better than to question my judgment,” she releases an exhale, “but Mars, the God of War and my brother, was my ultimate rival. He hated how much our father doted on me and agreed with plans I coordinated. It made him feel inferior. He’d do anything to prove himself.” Her tone remains neutral despite the painful memory surfacing.

Zemo remained quiet, picturing the scene as Minerva relayed it. Though stoic the Baron could see the pain and sadness lurking behind her eyes. Managing it as best she could for the sake of her friends. Who knows how many years it’d been since she lost whoever it was close to her. But the hole would always remain.

“To put it short,” she started again, bidding a glance, “Our home was under attack and his rash decision to slow down the enemy led to the death of my family—my husband and children.” Sympathy arose in the Baron, understanding her anguish, “An intentional move on Mars’ part because he believed I wouldn’t be fit to remain on the High Council after stuffing such a loss, therefore he would take my place as Head Commander of our armies and my father’s second Command.”

“He wasn’t exiled?” The question left Zemo before he could stop it. Confused by how the God avoided persecution for his crime, Minvera was shunned. “Your family was targeted.”

Minerva’s smile was bitter, “because their deaths were a result of war, the High Council viewed it as collateral. They failed to see Mars’ responsibility, believing he didn’t intend to kill them. So, I took it upon myself to bring justice. Not only to Mars but also the High Council.” Her smile fell once more, “I made sure they would pay. And they did, but it was far from over after finishing the job. Those who survived didn’t hesitate to throw me out to the wolves once I was contained.”

Zemo nods his head, “where did you go afterward if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I was imprisoned on Xandar for some time,” well they certainly had some things in common, “Once I escaped I became what your people would call a bounty hunter. Where it led me to meeting those clowns I now call my family,” she pauses before adding, “and escaping prison for a second time. Only it was to save the Galaxy.”

The laugh that escapes Zemo surprises him, “I guess it all worked out then.” Once more they lock eyes, twinkling against the stars shining down above.

“I suppose it did.”

Three Years Later

Zemo raced out the door the moment he awoke to rumbling that shook the foundation of his home. After three years he’d recognize the sound in an instant, only this time it was without warning.

An action that rarely occurred.

Throwing on his coat and house slippers, the clock read 2:30 am, flooding the Baron with worry. ‘What is she doing here at this hour?”

Usually when Minerva drops in she gives Zemo a heads up. A day or two’s notice, but recently he couldn’t get a hold of her and passed it off as the Guardians on a job. With the unexpected visit, so late at night, Zemo instantly knew something was wrong.

Hurrying out to the front lawn right as her ship landed, Zemo jogged to where the stairs extended. When they did, the doors revealed his Goddess, still wearing her suit, standing before him. Zemo noted the exhaustion painting her demeanor. Dark circles beneath her eyes, which appeared dimmer than usual, and scars indicating recently healed wounds.

His arms are around her the moment she’s within distance, her own around his neck, “This is a surprise.”

“Sorry I didn’t call,” the exhaustion was evident in her voice. Barely above a whisper causing Zemo to tighten his hold.

“It’s alright, darling. I’m just glad to see you are okay,” his hand runs along her hair, “wanna tell me what happened?” He hears her sniff, increasing his dread, “Close call?”

“Too many,” her voice cracks and there’s a pause. “We almost lost Rocket. We saved him thankfully, but then we nearly lost Peter. And I almost—,” she stops short, not wanting to relive her near death experience. “This was…it was too much for all of us, Helmut.” A kiss is pressed to her head, offering comfort.

“Let’s get you inside, mein schatz.” Zemo leads Minerva into the home, sitting her in the living room while he goes to put a kettle on the stove. Filling two cups of cherry blossom tea, Minerva’s favorite, he joins her in the living room.

After taking her first sip of the brew, Minerva removes the headpiece from her hair and makes herself comfortable before giving Zemo a play-by-play of the past three days. He stays quiet, listening intently but visibly reacts with each awful detail Minvera relays to him. From the unexpected attack from Adam Warlock, to the disgusting abuse Rocket endured at the hands of the High Evolutionary, to Quill nearly imploading in space had it not been for Adam’s change of heart.

Zemo’s knuckles turned white when Minerva spoke of what happened to her. Anger consumed him and he wished he had been there to protect her. Seeing his distress Minerva placed her hand on his, gently squeezing, “I’m okay, Helmut. I’m here now and we all made it out. There were many close calls, but we’re all alive and that’s what matters.”

Taking her hand, Zemo brought it up to brush his lips against her fingers, softly kissing her knuckles. “I don’t know what I would've done if I lost you, Minnie. I—-,” he stops himself to exhale, squeezing his eyes shut, “I would’ve found a way to fly across the galaxy to avenge you.”

“I know you would,” she murmurs, removing her hand but positioning herself in his lap. Arms snake around his neck, pulling him so they were inches apart. “I’d expect nothing less. Also I’d be a hypocrite considering I would do the same for you.” A playful smirk formed, “I was already plotting when Ross let you get captured by those bastards last year. Had it ended any other way, Ross would cease to exist.”

Zemo snickered, “I see we haven’t really changed completely despite our friends believing the opposite. Neither of us hesitating to return to old ways if it comes down to such circumstances.”

She smirks, “No, I don’t suppose we haven’t.”

“What a pair we are,” leaning in, his lips meet hers in a soft caress. Warmth seeping through his veins. That effortless high he believed he’d never have again after the loss of his family.

But he found it with a Goddess in the stars. Where love swept across the galaxy.

When they pull away after a moment, Zemo keeps his forehead against hers. Gold meeting brown. “I’m not sure I can let you go now, liebling. At least not for a while.”

“You never have to anymore,” her words have him startled, the man pulling away slightly to get a better look at her.

“What are you saying?”

Minerva’s gaze turns soft, though there’s slight nervousness, “After everything we all realized something. We found the family we were searching for, but some of us needed to find ourselves. Peter’s here on Earth to find his grandfather. Mantis is off on her own adventure. Drax and Nebula are on Knowhere to help raise the children we saved from the High Evolutionary. Rocket and Groot are leading a new era of the Guardians. And me,” she stops, emitting a gaze full of love that takes Zemo’s breath away. “I’d like to be here. With you, Helmut. If you’ll have me.”

If his heart could explode from the happiness Zemo was feeling it would. Tears were threatening to prick his eyes, the Baron willing himself to remain composed. “Oh, Schatz,” he croaked, cupping the side of her jaw. “I should be the one asking you that. Of course I’ll have you. I love you more than every star in the galaxy.” With that he kisses her, putting all his love and passion it causes her own eyes to water.

“I love you too,” she kisses him again. They remain on the couch, falling asleep eventually curled up in each other’s embrace. Their last thoughts filled with joy as they awaited the new adventure on the horizon.

An adventure just between them. A reinstated Goddess and a fully pardoned Baron opening the next chapter of their lives. Together.

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lampmanliveblogs · 1 year

Text

”Feisty witches make the best leaders,” Terra says. She follows this up by giving Raine a boop on the nose and saying how she especially likes Raine. That’s funny considering events involving the leader of the Bard Coven and Terra in some thirty years or so.

So my prediction before was kinda half-right. Raine did lose the game, lost their scholarship, and did transfer to Hexside as I thought. But Eda didn’t win the game, she lost. In fact everyone lost. But Terra spoke to Principal Faust and sorted things out. I imagine that conversation involved very little talking, and more of her sending him bouquets of poisonous & carnivorous flowers alongside a card informing him of the situation.

Oh, and the Raine’s Rhapsody/Eda’s Requiem leitmotif returns once again.

Also, I guess Saint Epiderm is up on The Knee. And since Saint Epiderm was supposed to be a bit fancier, a bit more elite, it kinda makes sense for the school t be in a location with lots of magical power.

This screenshot is here because I thought it was cute.

This is also really cute. Slightly less cute was Luz somewhat uncanny drawing of Eda & Raine, but still, this is still a really nice, wholesome moment to end the episode on.

…is what I would say if there wasn’t a minute left.

We cut to the castle, where Terra is feeding Raine their daily dose of brain detergent.

Raine, as per usual, blows on on their tea to cool it down, which produces a whistling sound, just like we saw earlier when they used it to modify Eda’s juice and alter its taste.

…

Hol up-

Oh look, Raine found one of Darius' little mini abominations wandering around! It must’ve gotten lost inside that wall, the poor thing. I hope it wasn’t carrying around sensitive information in that letter! It could be very bad if that got into the hands of some traitors planning on overthrowing the Emperor.

Alright, so first things first THIS IS WHAT MY SISTER HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT ALL THIS TIME! FINALLY! The identity of the traitors revealed!

There’s suddenly a lot of things to talk about, so let’s break it down.

(for context, I watched to the end of the scene, but I chose this screenshot because of the information)

Raine has been using their whistle magic to counter Terra’s tea. How long have they been doing that? Ever since the beginning? If so, then what happened at the Coven Day Parade was all an act, which I could believe. Raine does say they don’t want to put Eda in danger again (because they love her and Eda also has kids to take care of), so the act would’ve been both to keep Eda safe and to make sure Terra & Belos didn’t catch on to that Raine wasn’t under their control like they thought.

Then we have Darius. Raine and Darius obviously didn’t know about each other before the events of Eda’ s Requiem. If they did, Raine wouldn’t have tried to have Darius (and I guess Eberwolf was there too), ah… permanently incapacitated via the use of Eda’s curse.

Speaking of Eberwolf, is he(?) in on this? I’m thinking maybe not? Because he and Darius went to capture the traitor (Raine). But if they were both also traitors, then they wouldn’t have captured Raine, they would've teamed up with them. Unless… Kikimora did appear unexpectedly, which might’ve been what messed up their plans.

(I think I might go back to Eda’s Requiem and Follies at the Coven Day Parade and rewatch those scenes to look for clues. I don’t have the time right now)

Regardless, Darius and Raine are now working together to try and stop Belos’ evil plans. Darius has managed to figure out at least part of the plan. I was right that it involves draining magic through the coven sigils and that it’s channeled through the coven head witches (although it doesn’t specify that it has to be the head witches, just nine strong witches).

The magic power will be directed or channeled to the spell center, which is where the door is being moved to. This will do… something.

The eclipse is also important. Maybe.

When Raine asks if there is any way to counter the draining spell, Darius suggests Eda. Eda’s curse messes with magic, true, something Darius would know from experience… though I’m not 100% exactly what it is he thinks they could do. Raine & Eda together could use bard magic to spread the curse, but there have got to be several thousand witches, if not more coming to this thing. Maybe if they got close to the spell center and could disrupt the flow of magic somehow…

I suppose it doesn’t matter because Raine refuses to involve Eda. They might still have to resort to that plan once the Day of Unity does roll around. We’ll see.

The episode ends with Raine looking out over the head of the Titan, which reminds me of the image from the outro with Luz looking at the head.

I need to be up pretty early tomorrow for work, so I don’t have time to do my usual rewatch right now. Although to be honest, I think I caught most of the important stuff the first time through. And if there was something I missed, you guys will let me know.

Anyway, I’ll do a little follow-up post tomorrow talking about my thoughts on the episode overall. See you then!

#the owl house #liveblog #the owl house liveblog #toh s2e15 #them's the breaks kid

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nebulaeic · 2 years

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I. don't think we sent in something for the system asks so: 1, 2, 7, 12, 20, 23, 25, 29, 30!

(ty for the ask!)

1. theme song for your system? probably "the masquerade" by go! child, we have more specific songs certain members feel more connected to but that ones a good overall feel

2. colour palette for your system?

7. does anyone have a bodily effect? (do they need glasses, do they have a stutter, do they have a limp, etc. when they are in/front) some of us are more prone to getting tics while fronting than others but other than that not really

12. any in-sys jokes? we frequently pull up the bugs bunny communism meme ( our [x thing]) when talking about stuff, like if someone thinks "my switch" or "my boyfriend" or "my hand (in regard to the body)" someone will pipe up from the back "OUR [x]" also every single time one of us thinks to ourself "im aware of that" someone way in the back has to yell "A WERE-WHAT?" (a werewolf pun joke) this has been going on for months the joke is done we dont have to keep doing this

20. most ridiculous reason an alter was suspended from fronting? probably one of the times weve had to go "ok no you are not buying Another set of cool looking dice for our hoard we have a bunch already and we dont even play dnd come on step back we are closing out of etsy"

23. what was your “oh shit i’m not a singlet” moment? we always had like another voice thinking in my head thing, or at least as far back as we can remember, and at some point like two distinct members manifested/formed (our fuckin. trollsonas. probably also A Sign that we always had multiple 'sonas whenever we designed them fdjsklg) and shortly after we saw a tumblr post of a comic explaining what being multiple is and we just kinda went ".. Ooooh so this is like A Thing not just a wacky elaborate daydream about being a group of people in our brain room ive made up."

25. random system fact when we told our bf we hit 50 recorded members he (with permission) sent us a bunch of 50th birthday joke images that were like "you hit 50! congrats!" in a sparkly fun font djfklsgh definitely a highlight

29. do parts of your innerworld have names, or is it more vague (where xyz and xyz are, etc.)? (if applicable) the places weve got on record are mostly created with a specific members influence so kind of both, either calling areas "the [forest/swamp/cave/mountains]" or "[x]'s area"

30. favourite and least favourite part of being a system? a major plus- i think its very helpful for a lot of us to have each other for support systems (pun not intended) to better manage breakdowns and things, its easier to rationalize when youre talking to someone else, or trying to rationalize for someone else, so having a permanent emotional support buddy who is in your head (and vice versa) probably helps us A Lot, we dont tend to have many "external" breakdowns/meltdowns even if we are struggling a bit because we tend to keep it in-space for the most part. also along with that just always having someone to talk to can be nice, and getting to be yourself in headspace is really nice, like having Your form and getting to act like yourself in ways you cant do with the body. least favorite probably varies between members, but i think not getting to have your own life is a big one. whether it goes against what other members want or you just cant get the body to be motivated for what you want individually (example: getting fit/doing martial arts, taking a class, wanting to say something to someone) its really frustrating to never get to do something you really want to do if the rest of the system/main fronters dont feel like it

#chatter #asks #text heavy #man i actually wrote this all in one go. dang count me impressed and surprised.#ty for sending these in! had fun answering them #edit: realized i spent like an hour and a half on this post with not many breaks. once again surprised but impressed

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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WAIT. I'm late to the party but I just remembered all those anons were sending in "why I send you asks" and their reasons and I actually really want to participate, so I hope you will accept late applications?

The reason I send you so many asks is because you've just...built such a nice feeling that anything can be discussed, and it's never too niche or cringy or boring, and that's really relieving and amazing.

I'm sure you (along with many others) have realized by now, but I suffer from....really bad anxiety, both social anxiety and just in general, and it very often gets in the way of my life. Because of this and past experiences, I'm always very scared and hesitant to talk about my interests and my thoughts on anything.

But every time I've sent you an ask, even if it was, in retrospect, probably really annoying to read through the one hundred "sorry"s and "my bad"s, you've always been nothing but kind and interested in my ideas, and that was just...so surprising. Because I never really knew anyone who was willing to talk about anything, and it was just...really amazing to meet someone who was! Especially because I love and am interested in so many different things and kind of need someone to bounce ideas at. And it was really cool to see someone that was unashamed of their own interests and thoughts, but didn't make others feel bad for having different ideas.

Every time I send you an ask, you always have something interesting to say back. Something I hadn't thought of or considered, or a query that would make me rethink my own theories, or just a very well-thought-out answer to a question. I remember sending in tons of asks about the wings AU before it was released, and writing those was probably the highlight of my day, because I knew you'd take them and run with the ideas, and do your best to match my energy, and I was really grateful for that. And you were always willing to dig deeper, to think "but what if there was more?" and that's just...incredible! I don't have any other word for it!

I love sending you asks because you don't dismiss an idea or deem it as stupid, and you're just...such a kind and wonderful person that can make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before, and you never fail to make me consider things again, to expand my thoughts and views, and I'm really grateful for that.

So, because it should definitely be said by now, thank you!

And, well, that's why I love sending you asks :]

- pyro

there is no timeline so there's no way to be late! and I'm answering this a few days after you sent this, so if you believe yourself to be late then we can both be late together :D. you are fully welcome to participate if you want to (which you said you did)! it was mostly just a random question I had because i'm just as analytical with myself as I am with keeper, and knowing how other perceive and think of me is helpful for that--and I was curious about how i'd aquired so many asks so quickly, and then you all just turned it into complimenting quil hours for some reason !! (but on to your ask before I get even more distracted)

(note from a quil who has answered all of this: got very long so that's why there's a readmore! i love you /p)

this means so much to me--specifically your use of "built" because I do try pretty hard to maintain a positive atmosphere and welcome everyone in and treat everyone with the same attention. it didn't just fall into place, i try to be encouraging to everyone and support all the amazing work--art, writing, ideas, etc--I see from people. (note: i've been wanting to do a thing where I ask for fic/art/other recommendations from others (can be friends or their own) so i can go through and reblog a bunch of them with comments and the like, I just want to get through more of my asks before I start something like that). But you're right--nothing is too niche! there's so many details in the story it's impossible for one person to notice anything, so people bringing up the obscure and their own thoughts makes the story richer and more fleshed out for everyone else! and i think it's really cool to just see what other people focus on (like I said, my analysis isn't limited to characters, but I'm not like dissecting you all to understand each of you in a creepy way or anything. I just like to get a better sense of someone so I can respond in a way more tailored to them when we interact)

anxiety can really suck, so as someone who also has anxiety i am giving you a comforting hug if you'd like one. it genuinely impacts everything you do and think about, rewriting how you experience life. a single, inconsequential experience to someone else can literally change major aspects of how we think, which makes interactions so scary sometimes. i remember things people said years ago and still base my actions around them, but those people have absolutely no recollection of ever saying it, but just the fear of having done something wrong once permanently altered my thinking. (this is not to make this about me, I'm just trying to show I understand by sharing an experience of my own).

reading through all your "i'm sorry"s and "my bad"s wasn't annoying and never will be. you have never had anything to apologize for, and I know that sometimes you feel you need to enter a conversation and first apologize for being there, but I'm thrilled to have you here and always love seeing you in my inbox. I don't know how to articulate this properly, but I'm going to try. i saw your apologies and your apprehension as...a puzzle? that's absolutely not the right word but I can't think of the right one so please let me explain (I don't mean to imply you're like something to be solved or a problem in any way. words can be difficult and I'm trying to describe something very intangible rn, so I hope this doesn't sound bad). I didn't see it as annoying (you're never annoying), I saw it like it was something to work through, and while it's not my job or anything to help other's with their personal problems, it was like if I could just provide one space where I could encourage you (not just you, but anyone) as a friend to try shifting your language and start thinking of yourself more positively, then I wanted to give that.

because I am interested in your ideas! and I want to be kind and welcoming to you! but I also want you to be kind to yourself, so any impact I've had to give anyone a safer, less scary space is really cool. I don't know if that made sense, but I'm not trying to talk down to you or anything or be like I'm this high and mighty figure harboring lost souls or something, just that connection is important and I like being there for people. kinda worried that sounded bad because it feels worded strange but I'm trying to reciprocate and say i appreciate you and am happy to talk about anything!

i love bouncing ideas back and forth and you are more than welcome to say anything and everything you're thinking about. talking to you is always an absolutely joy and I get so excited when you send me an ask and when you're reading my response, because it often feels like this like...buzz? like we're just vibing on this frequency and it makes it so much fun to throw ideas back and forth and just listen to each other talk. i am very glad to have surprised you and met you! I don't know a lot of people like myself either, so having someone like you interact with me and just go all out on these little things and what we personally like about different parts of the so much fun. a lot of the other people I know irl feel like they just scratch the surface, they say things just to get credit for it and to appear like they know what they're talking about while ignoring all these other things that have such an impact, so it's amazing to have found someone else who looks at everything and anything like I do. my brain really is "a little bit of everything all of the time" so knowing you have so many different interests too is really cool. i am giving you an internet high five and pretending you aren't so far away.

I spent so much of my life being quiet when I had so many thoughts, so now that I have this kind of outlet I just! want to say everything I can! i want to look at everything from every perspective possible! the world is a huge collection of things tied together and I love following the strings to find the connected pieces! but I think that's a way of approaching the world not a lot of people share (I could be wrong), so it's really cool to hear you think my thought process is interesting!! my brain is practically composed entirely of questions. any subject at any time of the day and nearly all of my thoughts are just wanting to know more and trying to understand things, so having that opportunity to ask further questions and just learn things (about what other's thing, how things work, etc) is so much fun. you might've seen me ask some questions of other's in a few of the asks I answer, but those barely scratch the surface of just how many I have. my handle is in_quil_sitive (inquisitve) on nearly every social media platform (except for this one) for a reason.

I remember some of your asks from before the wings au was published, too. those were absolutely incredible, and I got a rush of excitement every time I saw you sent another. those were the the highlight of my week, too!! your enthusiasm and excitement for something I hadn't even posted yet gave me so much motivation to continue and you helped me think through so many future ideas and consider things from new perspectives. i know i specifically wrote that you inspired one chapter in the notes, but you've had an impact on every single chapter of this story/ it wouldn't be what it is without you, and I mean that with complete sincerity. you were the one who made me think "what if there was more" so I could make this au even better and work towards something bigger. I just have so many thoughts about everything all of the time, I can't go more than a few minutes without being distracted by a different train of thought, but knowing there was someone who would want to hear all the weird, disjointed ideas i'd strung together and composed into a more cohesive format was so cool. there's just so much to think about!!

I probably sound repetitive at this point but I love answering your asks because you're so receptive to the way i say things and it's like you're actually listening and want to hear what I specifically have to say, not just the general ideas. you want to know my unique, personalized opinions and perspectives and don't just dismiss them when they're not what you expect to hear or aren't generic. you're incredibly kind, too, I hope you know. I love the description of how I can "make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before." that is such a meaningful compliment to me. I just keep thinking about this line over and over again and it just...it really means a lot. because you're saying it's me that interests you and not just what I talk about. I could talk about anything and you'd still want to interact with me and that's so fucking nice. I hope you know the same goes for you. we can challenge each other's thinking together and make things even deeper and more complex before together <33.

thank you for being here and being my friend, pyro. talking to you is always one of the highlights of my day and gives me a very positive feeling that I carry around for a while. I do this thing sometimes where I film myself to later observe my behaviors in the middle of intense emotions to understand myself better (back to that whole analysis thing again), but it's not just negative things, it's also when I'm really excited or pleased with something and jumping around and stimming and all that, and some of those are from when I interact with you. that might sound a little weird but I mean it positively, as in talking with you makes me ecstatic.

I have said. so many things. so I will stop (for now). but I really appreciate having you in my life <33

#this response is 1757 words long i--#i have written shorter essays for my college classes #pyro this better convince you that i care about you #you're one of my favorite people #just in general #i really value our friendship #and hope none of this sounded weird #i tried to articulate it but some of the concepts didn't want to become words #so please know this is meant to be loving and supportive of you #in all aspects #i wrote so much and still didn't say everything I wanted to #you should be asleep when I answer this so hopefully this is something nice to wake up to #still don't feel i've articulated myself fully #but I have tried #worried about that puzzle part but I'm trying to say I want this to be like a safe space of kinds #where I can support you and encourage you to stop apologizing when you don't need to #and do that without judging you #ah anxious about that #if you cannot tell I don't want to mess this up and am worried I will #hnnnng #if I said something weird please let me know so i can fix it #quil's queries #pyrokinetic-loser #nonsie love #long post

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idyllias · 3 years

Text

why I think Wanda made a Faustian deal with Mephisto and how it’s affected the show so far

so I’ve seen a lot of people talking about Mephisto casually throughout the Wandavision tags but I wanted to document my take on the matter so here it is !!

So who is Mephisto?

According to the Marvel Database, Mephisto is an extra-dimensional demon who is basically a stand-in for Satan in the Marvel universe. He usually has the appearance of what you would imagine the Devil to look like (the red skin and whatnot), but he’s also a known shapeshifter, appearing as a snake in the Garden of Eden, as a fly in his earlier narratives, etc.

Among his powers he possesses superspeed, superhuman strength, stamina and regeneration powers, as well as abilities like magical manipulation, mystical deal and reality manipulation. However, these do have limitations. Here are some quotes from the Marvel Database that I felt were relevant to what’s happened in Wandavision so far:

“He is unable to force the subjugation of any sentient beings will to his own without that being’s deliberate submission.” (consent king)

“Moreover, Mephisto’s reality manipulation does not seem to be completely permanent...”

“He is also incapable of reading the thoughts of any sentient being.”

“Mephisto’s powers are linked with his extra-dimensional realm and his powers rapidly decrease the longer he is away from his realm. As a result, he typically uses or manipulates others into performing whatever plan he has in mind.”

This is where I believe Wanda comes into play.

Wanda’s strengths and powers make up for nearly all of Mephisto’s shortcomings. She’s able to penetrate people’s minds and control them without consent, something Mephisto can’t do. I’m not entirely sure what Mephisto’s plans could be, but it’s mentioned he manipulates others into doing whatever he needs.

Now take Wanda’s state of mind. She lost her brother, went into hiding for years and abandoned the one she loved, only seeing him in secret rendezvous, then had to kill him only to have him resurrected and brutally murdered in front of her. She’s grieving. And she’s vulnerable.

She’s a perfect pawn for Mephisto to accomplish whatever plan he has in mind.

He just had to offer her something she wanted. Maybe a quiet life in the suburbs, with the love of her life playing husband, cheeky neighbors always willing to lend a hand, her brother’s return, children... how would a grieving person say no to that? So Wanda made a deal with Mephisto.

Here’s how I think the timeline went.

SWORD was in possession of Vision’s body. This was odd from the beginning, considering Vision died five years ago, so I believe they probably acquired the corpse to study his body and replicate it. Wanda stormed SWORD headquarters to retrieve Vision. I’m not sure of her intentions then, nonetheless it led to his resurrection in Westview.

Due to Mephisto’s lack of mind control ability, Wanda was to take responsibility of all the citizens in Westview. Mephisto would then alter the reality in which they lived in. An interesting aspect about Mephisto’s reality-altering abilities is that they’re not permanent. I think that’s the reason why the show keeps switching decades: Mephisto can’t maintain the aesthetics for too long because his powers won’t allow him to.

Now, if Wanda is in control of the people in Westview, why are Billy and Tommy out of her control?

If you’re familiar with the boys’ origin in the comics, you know in a way they are Mephisto’s children. Tommy and Billy were conceived by the Scarlet Witch using slivers of Mephisto’s soul, and I think that’s the reason she can’t control them. At first I thought it was a children thing due to Agnes saying “Kids, you can’t control ‘em” in Episode 5, but Episode 6 has shown that Wanda is well capable of controlling them.

If we venture and say that Wanda can’t use mind control on Mephisto, then it would make sense that she couldn’t do the same with her kids, them being his offsprings (and I really think they are, considering Pietro literally called them “demon spawn”).

Which leads me to another point, which is probably irrelevant to most of you, but is actually a big reason of why I wrote this in the first place...

The Fucking Stork.

None of you know how much I racked my brain thinking about this fucking animal. I thought it was so weird, considering how everything that Wanda has tried to make disappear has been eliminated, but this motherfucker just flapped his wings and made the red smoke go away. It would be really funny if it just turned out to be irrelevant but I think the stork was Mephisto. He’s a known shapeshifter, and if he’s in control of the reality they’re in, it makes sense that Wanda wouldn’t be able to poof him away.

So what does Mephisto want?

I’m not sure yet. The Marvel Database does say this about his goals in the comics:

“Mephisto's domain is inhabited by himself, by lesser demons who serve him, and by the astral forms of certain deceased human beings, which have been trapped in the bodies of demons. These demonic bodies imprisoning human spirits have been magically altered to resemble the deceased's mortal human forms. Mephisto is continually seeking to add more spirits of sentient beings to his realm by inducing living sentient beings to submit their wills to his. Mephisto apparently seeks primarily to enslave human souls, although he will go after those of extraterrestrials on Earth as well.”

If I’m already spitballing about storks, I’d say he has some sort of plan to colonize Earth to add to his human soul collection. It could make sense, considering the people of Westview are already trapped in the Hex and its already expanded in the past episode. If this is his purpose, it’s just a matter of getting everyone to submit to his will, cause he is concerned with consent and all that. But I’m sure whatever it is, he’s already calculated Wanda into his plans to make up for all that which he lacks.

So yeah, this is what I think is going on with Wandavision so far. I’ll probably be proven wrong in like the next episode because these Marvel writers sure know how to keep people on their toes, but it’s always fun to theorize with what you have. If you have any other cool theories or ideas feel free to add on !! :)

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wanda maximoff #vision #tommy maximoff #billy maximoff #vision mcu #mcu #pietro maximoff #Wandavision ep 6

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fanfics-of-marvel · 3 years

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Are you up for writing winter13? 40. “Once you’ve tasted me, you’d never want anybody else”

Hello there anon! Thank you so much for the great prompt! ♥ I’m really sorry this comes so so late but I’m very busy in my daily life and I had to leave tumblr for a while. Anyway, I hope you’d still get to read it even though you’re anon and I hope you’ll enjoy it! ♥

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REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Release date: 25/01/21

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Sharon Carter

Summary: Bucky seemes to have recovered after his rescue from Hydra but Sharon continues to be reluctant anout it and believes he still works for the Nazi organization. One day while she follows him in hopes to catch him on the act she discovers his secret which turnes out to be much more different than she had imagined.

Words count: 3 292

A/N: The side S.H.E.I.L.D. agents are made up for the story and do not resemble any other Marvel characters

Warnings: Mentioning of a bad word

Requests | Masterlist

I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes.

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

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Sharon wasn’t remotely impressed by Bucky. He was nothing more than the next mission, the next target in the endless list of targets. Even though this one was quite different from the others.

With this target came the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. But with S.H.I.E.L.D.’s destruction came Hydra’s demolition as well. Everything and everyone was shortly eliminated, all but one. In Steve’s request Bucky’s life was spared.

He was kept in a dark dungeon – one of the few parcels of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s that had remained. For months he was supervised by the remaining agents, including Steve himself and Sharon. At first he didn’t show any signs of recovery. He still seemed to be in the state under Hydra’s control. There were moments of clarity in his mind when he seemed to have recognized Steve, when he seemed to have questioned everything and everyone he had faced with Hydra. But he still wasn’t his own self. He was still somebody else – the person Hydra had turned him into.

Steve didn’t give up on Bucky. Month after month he was always by his best friend’s side, worked with him, told him stories of their past until little by little his buddy was back. It was most sensational news when Fury gave the order to release Barnes and took off his status “Danger to S.H.I.E.L.D.”. There were many protests including from Sharon. She insisted that Bucky wasn’t to be trusted, that once altered he most probably would never change back, and that he was a ‘ticking bomb’ left by Hydra’s legacy and could explode in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s face any moment. Especially during such a fragile moment while the agency was still recovering itself.

However, Fury was firm in his decision. He knew that maybe Barnes wasn’t to be trusted but he knew that Steve was. And if Steve said Bucky was ready to go back to the world, then he was ready. Steve knew his buddy better than anyone else and spent months to make sure of that.

At the beginning Bucky was under stringent surveillance. He could barely take a shower without S.H.I.E.L.D.’s supervision. But as time went by the control got milder. There were moments in which Bucky was free to do activities on his own and even smaller walks among the society.

Sharon never let down her guard. She was always extra cautious with Bucky and often supervised him on her own. She still believed he might be a part of Hydra and that he was faking everything. She didn’t know Bucky was slowly turning into his older charming self.

One afternoon Sharon followed Bucky as he went out on a short walk. He had been out many times without any troubles occurring but she was still reluctant to believe. She followed Bucky as he walked through the nearby park, watched him as he bought a hot dog from the street stand and slowly ate it while watching some youngers doing the craziest flips and acrobatics with their bikes and skateboards. He seemed to be genuinely fascinated by today’s youth and how much the world has changed. Sharon wasn’t impressed.

After Bucky finished his meal he walked towards the town’s market. He stopped at a florist shop and bought the prettiest bouquet. Sharon was a little surprised. Bucky paid for the flowers and strode down the road. Sharon needed to fasten her pace in order to keep up with Bucky. But he disappeared with the agility of a panther. Or more specifically – a deadly killing machine designed for efficiency and minimum failure.

Sharon’s breath stopped for a moment. Was this it? The moment in which the ‘ticking bomb’ was about to explode? Was the hot dog, the flowers and everything else beforehand just a bait which S.H.I.E.L.D. bought? Was this really the end?

Sharon circled the perimeter but she couldn’t find a trace of Bucky. Her blood cooled, she felt her stomach turning upside down, and cold sweat emerged. She failed. She was hoping to catch something suspicious in Bucky’s behavior which she could report back to base and finally have him chained again. But it seemed like he was so skilled that he had managed to fool her as well in his plans.

“Base, this is Agent 13,” she said on her com with a trembling voice. “We have a Code Winter. I repeat – Code Winter. The subject has showed suspicious and abnormal behavior. I repeat – the subject is suspected in treachery.”

“Agent 13, this is Base,” she heard the even and unbothered voice of Agent Finery. “Can you clarify more upon your report?”

“What is there to clarify, Roy?” Sharon screeched on the com. She was getting out of her skin – her biggest nightmare seemed to be closer to reality.

“Agent 13, I’d ask you to calm down,” Agent Finery seemed to be caviling. Sharon nearly broke the device in her hand with her squeeze. “Bucky Barnes is no longer under permanent surveillance and is a level 2 threat. No one is even supposed to be supervising him now. What in his behavior prompted your report?”

Sharon took a deep breath. Stupid bureaucracy. Everything would have been so much easier without it. “I was following the subject on my own,” she never referred to him as ‘Bucky’ or ‘Barnes’, always as ‘the subject’. “I think he had noticed me somehow and disappeared from my sight in no time. You know how skilled he is. I believe it was his intention to lose me, so I wouldn’t know where he’s going.”

After a short pause Sharon heard, “Or maybe you were a little slower?” Agent Finery asked unpleasantly. “You seem to…,” Roy’s words were interrupted.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked imperiously. “I heard somebody talking about ‘Code Winter’ back there,” the rumor had spread with the speed of light.

“Oh thank god, Steve,” Sharon sighed with relief. “Finally somebody with a brain,” she said returning the carping.

“Are you sure in what you’re saying?” Steve had overtaken the communication from Agent Finery. The latter looked like a little boy compared to the Super Soldier’s physique.

“I noticed abnormal behavior, Steve,” there was an intense pause. “I think he noticed I was following him and he vanished from my eyes skillfully.”

There was a long painful sigh.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Sharon said. “I wish it was otherwise.”

“Alright, where are you now?” Steve finally said.

“At the town’s market,” Sharon said overexcited. Somebody finally listened to her. “The alley with souvenirs. Approximately where I saw him last.”

“Stay where you are unless you see Bucky. Keep us updated if anything happens,” Steve ordered Sharon and left the base with a battalion of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s finest agents.

Sharon sighed in relief. S.H.I.E.L.D. were on their way led by Steve himself. She looked around for more traces trying to stay as close as possible to where she was. She thought she was alone when she turned around and suddenly noticed a bouquet of flowers in front of her face. Her sharp deadly reflexes were activated in a millisecond. She took her weapon out of the holster while her other arm swung towards the flowers and the hands that were holding them. But before she managed to do any of that the opposing person disarmed her with the finest skills. Her gun was on the ground and her back was pressed at her attacker. How did he manage to turn her so fast? A cold sharp blade was pressed at her neck. She couldn’t breathe and her pulse was accelerated.

“Shall we try this again?” Sharon clearly heard Bucky’s voice.

With the same dexterity Bucky turned Sharon towards him. When she looked at Bucky still slightly dazed the knife was already put away. Damn, the speed! Bucky bent down to pick up her weapon and the bouquet he had thrown during the little scuffle. He sighed. It had gotten a little dusty and some of the stems had broken.

“Your gun,” Bucky said and handed Sharon the weapon. There was a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Sharon took her weapon cautiously with her eyes fixed upon him. She doubted she could be faster than him. It was probably for the best if she sustained a conversation until the back-up came.

“Aren’t you going to put it in the holster?” Bucky asked with a foxy smile. There was something on his mind. “There are people in here. Civilians. We wouldn’t want any accidents, would we?”

‘Well played’, Sharon thought to herself.

After her gun was put away Bucky looked at the damaged flowers, hesitated for a moment, sighed and handed them towards Sharon. “These are for you,” he said sounding somewhat frustrated.

Sharon looked at the bouquet with a rapid breathing. Was there a bomb in there? A weapon? Chloroform spray? For the first time in her carrier she didn’t know what to do.

Bucky sighed. “I know they’re not as pretty. But it was your fault they fell on the ground.”

Sharon was standing frozen. For the first time in her career she was facing a threat far more skilled than herself. Furthermore, they were standing at a lively part of the city which could have led to many casualties. She wished she had called for back-up earlier.

Bucky pulled the bouquet backwards. He sensed how terrified Sharon was even though she was hiding it professionally. He realized he might have startled her with that sudden appearance.

“Are you alright?” Bucky asked cautiously. “Did I scare you earlier?”

Sharon was still standing motionless. She knew she had to start speaking, so he wouldn’t run away. After all, S.H.I.E.L.D. were on their way.

“I’m fine,” Sharon finally said with a shuddering voice. “You just startled me a little bit. That’s all,” she even forced a slight smile.

“I definitely didn’t mean that,” Bucky replied with care in his tone. “I just wanted to give you the flowers but,” he looked at them and seemed a little embarrassed. “It’s been like 70 years… I’ve lost form,” he smiled shyly.

Sharon got quite confused. Bucky seemed to refer to his life hitherto Hydra’s capture. But what did he mean?

“I don’t know why I thought surprising you in such a way would be fun,” Bucky continued talking with bitterness. “Girls used to like it. But that was in the ‘40s, of course,” he faintly smiled remembering the good old days. “Now everything is so different,” he looked around him thoughtfully.

“I’m sorry?” Sharon said after a short pause. She was completely tangled.

Bucky looked at her seemingly terrified. “Oh, no. No, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he was slightly panicking. “It really has been so long and after all… I was somebody else for a while. I really didn’t know what to do. Somebody suggested buying you flowers and here they are,” he handed the bouquet towards her again.

Sharon looked at the flowers. Then at Bucky’s hopeful expression. Then at the bouquet again. After a pause she looked at him again.

“Are you hitting on me?” Sharon’s voice sounded both shocked and angry.

Bucky got terrified again. Did he mess up? He pulled the flowers at him. The hopeful expression switched to a hopeless one.

“Well, I was trying,” Bucky said wearily facing down. “The bouquet was definitely prettier before and I guess I shouldn’t have startled you,” he puffed. “And I used to be so good at this,” he added quietly, obviously talking to himself.

“Wait,” Sharon really needed to clear the matter up. “What is going on actually?” she sounded demanding.

“Um, well…,” Bucky started stuttering. “You know… the flowers for you and… a surprise, I hoped… which you’d like,” he smiled as if he had actually made sense.

“What!?” Sharon yelled. She really needed to hear it all clear.

“I like you!” Bucky shouted back pressed from her behavior.

Sharon stared at him with her eyes and mouth wide open. He didn’t look like the most deadly human-weapon. He looked like a terrified puppy.

“I really like you, okay?” he continued. He thought it’d be best to just talk straight. “You were there. The whole time. While I was recovering and remembering. There were many people, yes. But I had eyes only for you,” he said those last words so romantically that Sharon’s knees nearly bent. “I noticed you sometimes followed me and when I gained enough confidence I decided to act,” Bucky looked down at the flowers. “I was a little too shy to ask anybody for advice what to do. I mean, I said I like a girl but I didn’t say who the girl is. And the advice was to just buy flowers. I guess that’s why I didn’t do the right thing. Maybe you don’t like flowers,” he smiled bitterly.

Sharon was still trying to figure out whether Bucky was being sincere or acting up in order to fool her. But he seemed so genuine in his reactions and facial expressions. She has had a closer look at the Winter Soldier. His only expression was the frowned eyebrows and his only words were channeled towards conversations for killing. But now Bucky sounded entirely different. So genuine. So human.

“Oh, no, no. It’s not you,” now Sharon felt embarrassed. “It’s me. I got quite nervous,” was it really sane to be saying those words out? “When you disappeared from my sight I thought you were escaping. I thought The Winter Soldier had woken up and you were running away from S.H.I.E.L.D.,” she said the final words cautiously.

“Oh,” Bucky laughed adorably. “Understandable, yeah. I only did it because I wanted to surprise you. You didn’t leave me out of your sight. I had to be creative,” he smiled so charmingly that Sharon subconsciously giggled.

She couldn’t deny Bucky was an attractive man. He had cut the long Winter Soldier hair, his beard was stubble, his appearance – most intriguing. Sharon didn’t admit at herself but she definitely had sympathies for Bucky from the very beginning. Those steel blue eyes in which you could stare at for all of eternity. Those luring naughty lips which she desired to bite playfully. His firm tight body that she had observed many times during his recovery. And that damn metal arm. Why was it so arousing to even think about it?

Suddenly, Sharon felt a little dizzy. There was something in the air. Bucky’s charm was ravishing and on point. She completely forgot about the back-up from S.H.I.E.L.D. which she called earlier.

Sharon didn’t realize it but she was smiling like an idiot. She giggled again and subconsciously played with her hair like a school girl. When was the last time somebody flirted with her?

“I do like flowers,” she finally said with twinkling eyes and a provocative smile.

“Good,” Bucky replied curving his lips.

Sharon looked down at the bouquet and spoke playfully. “But you’ll have to buy me new ones.”

“Is that so?”

The shyness and suspicion had entirely faded from the conversation and were replaced by flirting and provoking.

“Can I compensate some other way?” imperceptibly Bucky had made a step closer to Sharon.

“Like how?” Sharon was totally consumed by Bucky’s enchanting powers. Even an exploding atom bomb wouldn’t move her eyes from his.

“A kiss, maybe?” he said unceremoniously.

Sharon gasped. How dared he?

“Judging by the bouquet your kissing abilities are questionable,” Sharon didn’t realize she was playing a dangerous game.

“Doll,” Bucky said in the sexiest voice ever. “Once you’ve tasted me, you’d never want anybody else”.

In a matter of a second Bucky grabbed Sharon’s waist and pulled her so close that he took her breath away. He pressed his lips at hers so passionately that her knees weakened. If Bucky wasn’t holding her Sharon would’ve fallen on the ground.

Shivers ran through her back, her whole body trembled, her pussy tingled, her body filled with so much oxytocin that she got dizzy again. Sharon felt the kiss on so many levels.

When Bucky finally moved his lips away she was like plasticine in his arms. Just hanging there letting him do anything he wanted with her. A quiet sigh exited her lips. Oh, what a day.

“Nice,” suddenly they heard Steve’s voice.

Sharon jumped out of Bucky’s arms so startled that she nearly fell. She looked at the back-up she had called. There were so many people, maybe even a whole division staring at her and Bucky smiling smugly. At the front was Steve. His smile was even wider than the others’.

“So,” Steve looked at Bucky. “That’s the girl?”

Bucky smiled shyly looking down while Sharon closed her eyes wishing the ground would suddenly open and swallow her.

“Like I said earlier,” Steve continued. “Nice,” he was smiling so much that it was ridiculous.

“Carter,” she heard the voice of Agent Johnson. The protégé of agent Finery and the second most annoying person in S.H.I.E.L.D. “Code Winter is for abnormal behavior. If you haven’t been kissed until now, well, this isn’t abnormal,” he was caviling at her just like his ‘original’.

Everyone started laughing. Now Sharon wished the ground would suddenly open and swallow them.

“Alright, alright,” Steve shouted at the excited crowd. “There’s nothing more to see here,” he barely held his giggle. They weren’t supposed to see anything whatsoever. “Apparently, there’s been a mistake. There’s no Code Winter. I repeat – Code Winter is called off. Everyone back to base,” Steve gave his orders and looked at the embarrassed couple after all of the agents had left still laughing and commenting. “So,” he started with a smile.

“I’m really sorry, Steve,” Sharon said embarrassed. “It’s all my fault. I’ll take full responsibility over my actions. I shouldn’t have called Code Winter before I had seen firmer evident…”

“Sharon, it’s alright,” Steve said warmly still smiling.

“No, Steve, it’s not. I called for back-up and so many agents came and got involved. I deviated everyone’s attention. What if an actual and more dangerous threat had appeared? I could have jeopardized everything.”

“Sharon,” Steve’s voice and smile were so warm that they could’ve melted the nearby ice-cream stand. “You had every reason to assume the worst. Bucky is a mystery and definitely looks like a bad boy,” Steve said facetiously.

“What?” Bucky objectified with a smile.

Steve giggled. Then returned to Sharon. “Agents like you are the ones who keep S.H.I.E.L.D. from falling apart completely. You did the right thing. Don’t blame yourself about anything.”

“Thank you, Steve,” for the first time since everything Sharon smiled genuinely.

“Well, I guess it’s best to leave you two to… whatever you were doing before we interrupted you,” Steve said playfully and winked at Bucky. “Just like the old times. You still got it.”

Bucky and Sharon smiled shyly as Steve walked away. Then they spent the rest of the day together. Bucky bought her a new bouquet, they went for a walk, and tested their shooting skills at the local shooting gallery. Sharon seemed to be the better shooter. Bucky justified himself that The Winter Soldier’s skills seem to be fading away. He never admitted to Sharon that he withheld his skills that day, so that she would win.

For a while everyone at the base joked with them. Some started referring to the happening as ‘Code Love’ or ‘Code Kiss’. Bucky and Sharon did everything possible to not pay attention to their annoying colleagues. And expectedly as time passed by everyone started getting bored with the jokes. Sharon and Bucky turned into the ultimate couple. They were the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D. had and never failed a mission. The jest turned into respect and after a while nobody made any more jokes about Sharon and Bucky.

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Thank you for reading! If you liked it please react - reply/like/reblog! Your support is appreciated!

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

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sibyl-of-space · 2 years

Text

Lots of feelings and thoughts under readmore, but for those who don’t want to read it: if you are on here reading this and you ALSO have a DeviantArt you still use (even if it’s very sparingly) that you’d be willing to share with me, can you shoot a DM? I’ve decided to rekindle my old account for a lot of reasons. Or at least try it out.

It’s similar to the reason I came back to Tumblr and the reason I made my own shitty hand-coded HTML disaster website. We’re all feeling it: how shitty the internet is now. I’m trying out a lot of different approaches to find a healthier relationship to communities, and being an artist and a person on the internet.

I basically had a breakdown this weekend over probably the stupidest possible thing that made me really look at myself and what I’m doing. Or... trying to do. What the hell I’m trying to accomplish.

Because I made that OoT Link amiibo I was so proud of, and I AM SO HAPPY WITH IT. I mean, I literally made it because I like playing OoT with the Zora Tunic and Hover Boots on, so I made a figure FOR ME based on MY TASTES. And it came out SO GOOD I literally could not be happier. And I posted it, and all of my friends were like “Leo that is so cool holy shit.” Which sounds like... the perfect outcome, right?

Except my brain has been fried by Number Go Up and I just felt this emptiness and dread, and I came to a really uncomfortable and disturbing realization as to why.

Like, a lot of shit I post is kind of intentionally for the niche-est of niche audiences, so I kind of expect 99% of my content to get 3 likes from my close friends and that’s about it, as it should be. But... I think, because for once I was actually posting about something that more than 8 people in the universe care about, and (in my opinion) I made something of pretty damn good quality, I had this expectation that I’d... go fucking viral or something.

(I really, really think my couple years being addicted - and I do mean addicted in the unhealthy brain-destroying sense - to Reddit is largely to blame for this. My Yggdrasill ToS cosplay was at one point the highest voted post on the Tales of subreddit; it was easy to feel like a micro-celebrity of sorts with that kind of reaction. Quitting Reddit was legitimately the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health but it kind of permanently altered my expectations for either Immediate and Immense Approval And Worship, or worthlessness.)

So even though I made something that was supposed to be self-indulgent, and the people whose opinions I care about all gave me glowing positive feedback, I was disappointed because I posted something that Could Be Popular and it wasn’t. And I just kind of sat with that for a second and thought back to posting really shitty fanart in middle school and having a circle of online friends who were also shitty learning artists and we would just talk about video games and draw together and... well I kind of just wondered where the hell it went wrong.

When did I start performing for an imaginary audience of strangers so often, so frequently, and so intensely that it soured my ability to be happy with one of the straight up coolest things I’ve made recently??

And the thing is... well, as far as spaces to share art, what I currently have is...

* Twitter, where there is nothing even close to an archive of past art and everything is just instant snapshots soon to be forgotten * Tumblr, where the site-wide search functions are a hot mess and I feel like I’m competing with 50% the fact that no one can find anything and 50% Mona Lisas on display everywhere under the same tags I’m using * Instagram, which somehow has both the “instantaneous snapshots and then it’s worthless” problem AND the “everything I post is competing with professionals” problem (and not just professionals at the art form, but professionals at SOCIAL MEDIA - because curating your art for interaction on social media is its own whole thing) * Discord but I’ll be real there’s baggage there I’m too exhausted to get into right now. There are some promising spaces though for community, but there is absolutely no form of archive or way to look back on personal growth * My website, which is the only space that feels right for how I want my art to be experienced, but also is completely lacking the community aspect.

So, I looked at my old DeviantArt account. I KNOW about the whole f*cking disk horse with eneftitties and I hate it so much and I’m not even going into it. But my old DeviantArt account has shit I posted in 2012 on there, shit I posted in 2008 on there, and has space for journals and groups and fanfiction and interacting with other users while also centering (or at least, it seems to me) art.

And it’s just about the only space that has felt like that, honestly. Where I can be an artist and a person, post things I like with a little story under them under whatever dimensions, even SLIGHTLY customize my landing page, join little communities of like-minded people.

I logged in and, well unsurprisingly it’s a ghost town and only like 1 person I “Watched” a billion years ago still posts. But then I turned on full FFIX brain and went to search for pictures of Freya Crescent, and in an experience I haven’t had on any other goddamn website in as long as I can remember, I received A HUGE VARIETY OF PICTURES OF EXACTLY THAT, from dates as recent as the past couple years to literally over 15 years ago. Very rough amateurish MS paint drawings showed up right next to professional quality polished pieces and they were all what I was searching for.

Like, holy fuck, HOW fucked is it that THAT experience - searching for a topic on an art site, and seeing that topic, ONLY that topic, and a huge variety of results in it - is so rare that it stopped me in my tracks?

But, like, it’s obviously sad too. It’s sad clicking through the banners of all the old groups I joined and seeing the last posts from like 2014. It’s sad that part of the reason it’s easy to find old drawings of Freya Crescent is because next to nobody has uploaded any in the past 5 years. It’s sad that eneftitties are fucking artists over so bad a lot of them jumped ship in protest, and it’s sad that I feel like I’m engaging with a side of this site that stopped really being alive 10 years ago.

But I’m giving it a try anyway. Because GOD I just want to have a place to share art that isn’t a competition and isn’t polished and professional and beautiful and might let me make and maintain friendships that I actually care about. I’m not trying to compete with pros here I’m just trying to post my things and be myself and have people who might like it be able to find it, so I can find them too. Maybe I want to join an FFIX fan club group and look at a billion pictures of Zidane and Garnet. WHO IS TO SAY.

Anyway.... this is 70% vent post, 30% desperate plea if any of you are on DA to hit me up and let me know what your username is because I would love to log in and see people I know and care about and get excited about what they’re making, instead of just seeing empty long-dead long-abandoned accounts and wondering what those people are up to.

#personal

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do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger · 3 years

Note

Hello! I was wondering if I could request an x men match up? My myers-briggs is intp-a, I go by she/her. I'm bisexual. I am 5'6", with mine length dark brown hair and hella pale skin. I'm very much pear shaped (with phatty). My style is very much comfort/jeans and when I wanna dress up it's kinda academia/indie. I think my mutation would be either matter manipulation or cosmic embodiment. I feel like Peter would be a good match but I need an unbiased opinion 😊 oh also I like pretty much everything besides country but I mostly like rock and rap music

I would ship you with either Jubilee or Peter Maximoff!

I totally agree that Peter is a good match for you (even before you said you liked him, my brain kept going: Peter, Peter, Peter), but I think Jubilee would be too! So I'm making a case for both, casual style. That's right, I'm going lowercase, baby!

Jubilee

*snaps* it's all about the juxtaposition.

your academia/indie style with her neon/poppy style? beautiful together.

your logic driven brain with her touchy-feely emotion driven brain? the balance on this bus is astronomical. so are the cuddles.

she'd be like: "can i touch your hair?" 🥺🥺🥺

and you'd say yes, obviously

and she'd braid in two lil pigtails

"you clear took great inspiration from pippy longstocking."

"you're welcome :))"

anyway, she is baby.

would hype 👏🏽 you 👏🏽 up 👏🏽

takes Polaroids of you literally doing the most mundane things

"did you just take a photo of me right now?"

"yeah. what about it?"

"i'm sitting here eating spaghetti after a sweaty training session."

"mhm?"

"and this is when the muse struck??"

"yep. :))))))))"

sometimes when you show her new music her eyes will light up like her life has been PERMANENTLY ALTERED

like i said. BABY.

Peter Maximoff

you two crazy kids, don't even get me started

you always have to warn him against his more... elaborate antics

a lot of "that's a horrible idea. but you're really cute, if that helps."

it does

you are clearly a huge nerd (i literally had to look up the term "cosmic embodiment") and peter would be obsessed with that side of you.

he low-key doesn't like rap music but pretends to because he wuvs u

would casually leave his jacket in your room "accidentally" just because he hopes you'll steal it

smooth mf 😔🤚 (i mean he's not, he's more tricky or cheeky or something but "tricky mf" doesn't sound as good)

him not fully understanding your powers

"is she a mutant too?"

"yeah! she's really cool. she can like absorb space energy or whatever and make it do junk? or make it into stuff? i don't really get it, but she made me a sword once and that was awesome."

ok and you know how it's taxing for peter to slow down to our speed?

well, he slows down only for a few people, all either his family or his found family, and when he does slow down it isn't for too long.

but for you?

constantly slowing down.

this man really went: 🐌

he is whipped, like you could ask him to grab you something on the other side of the country and he would be like "ok, be right back babe, love ya!" give you a kiss on the forehead and be on his way

i stg you better treat him right

#dmskdn i hope you like this! i know its ~a new format~#i just thought since you had a preference i would challenge it because im annoying like that but also i wanted to write about peter and you

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mikiruma · 3 years

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I'M CLOSING TWITTER FOR THE NIGHT JESUS CHRIST ANYWAY I'M JUST GONNA INFODUMP UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I'M GOING APE

HI I SPENT ALL DAY WANTING TO/STARTING TO WATCH TOTAL DRAMA SEASONS 4 AND 5 BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE MIKE&.... AND MOOMOO DECIDED TO WATCH WITH ME BECAUSE THEY BINGED TDI SOMEWHAT RECENTLY..... AND IT TURNED INTO ME PERIODICALLY PAUSING TO TALK ABOUT OUR OWN SYSTEM AND COMPARING MIKE&'S WITH OURS SO AN 8 HOUR EVENT TURNED INTO AN ALMOST (CHECKS TIME) 12 HOUR ONE..... they went to bed a while ago so i'm finishing s5 by myself.... and it was cool because i know now they're wanting to get to know the others and ask questions and be involved(!!!!) BUT ALSO i know mike& in general is a controversial character.... but as someone who sort of relates to the internal conflict in a weird way or has this being our first time witnessing someone with DID have their alters identities respected and not being treated like a complete weirdo for being plural... i mean there's the mistreatment a la chris and scott triggering a switch intentionally to help himself in a competition.... but other than that!!! and the ending to s5 which i have not reached but spoiled myself with because i wanted to know what i was getting into before i started!!!! i'm legit falling in love with these guys and want to see them go places and it makes me appreciate the one fanwork i've seen rewriting them a bit even MORE...... also i know mal is the most stereotypical/worst rep of anything, for having a persecutor and knowing their roles i SHOULD be saying it's a little singlet bait-y and knowing they added him in the story as the main villain because they knew that's what people would have wanted to see instead of a system achieving healthy functional plurality.... but he reminds me a lot of our persecutor and how they acted back in the day, we haven't entirely patched up and they still have stumbling blocks sometimes but after getting to know them and realizing they're acting in good faith (even if the good faith is spelled out with self-sabotage), i just have a feeling maybe i need to psychoanalyze mal. ESPECIALLY because of mike (and to an extent the show) treating his headmates like EXTRAS instead as other fully fleshed people (at least in s4, though they got their moments to talk to each other and cooperate) and taking control/acting like the others were getting in his way of *his life*.... and mal being the host before but being locked away and having to force his way out and rule with an iron fist before he was given any mind.... that guy needs a hug. and everyone else (MIKE ESPECIALLY) may need to learn how to communicate better. mal just needs to feel important and get attention when he's doing things that AREN'T being mean or acting out.... also i think i just want to give mal a hug in general. not saying mike is the real villain of s5 but i AM saying when he was working with everyone to overthrow mal, they were very clear that mike being in charge, while better, was still not the best because they get pushed aside and not taken seriously.... so i think if they just went to therapy or TALKED TO EACH OTHER (I KNOW THEY CAN!!!! THEY HAVE A HEADSPACE THEY HANG OUT IN!!!!! IF MIKE WAS ONLY ABLE TO ACCESS IT BY THE COMPETITION NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO GET YOUR WORDS IN!!!!!) then it would have been a MILES better solution than. PERMANENT INTEGRATION AND CHOOSING TO CURE THEIR OWN DISORDER ALL BY THEMSELVES WITH NO HELP BY PUSHING A BUTTON IN THEIR BRAIN JUST TO GET RID OF ONE GUY THEY DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god also i just want to mention i know svetlana was trying to be nice and encouraging saying they needed mike because he's better at some things than some of the other headmates but..... that coupling with the integration...... kind of hammers it in that everyone sees themselves as "extra" :( it makes me want to be more conscious of how i think/talk about OUR headmates because i want to try and make everyone feel welcome and valid.....

anyway sorry for the text wall i just love these guys so much but i HATE THE WRITING and i'm stalling finishing the s5 finale because i know they're going to do it and it's going to piss me off so much and i love ALL of them and want them to be ok..... it's hard for me to criticize much else because i can see us a lot in these guys and how things run.... and i'm disappointed they didn't show much else of mike& purely because i was watching the seasons just for them so everything else felt like filler.... IT WAS ENTERTAINING I JUST.... want to see more of them but WITH THE CORRECT DIAGNOSTIC NAME AND SEVERAL THERAPY TRIPS LATER LOL.....

///////

edit: finished!!! SO! mal admitting he was pushing people away so they didn't have the chance to hurt them first. the others saying integration wasnt getting RID of anyone, just making them a fuller singular person. GUYS I'M SOBBING.... i KNEW mal was doing the typical persecutor song and dance but with the way he even threw around his baggage like it was NOTHING. still upset at the integration since everyone was more willing to cease existing as they were altogether just so mal wouldn't be the host.... it breaks my heart.... ALSO I'M STILL OVER THE MOON ABOUT GIVING THEM A HEADSPACE AND THE LITTLE DETAILS IN THERE!!!! i legit don't know any other media featuring systems that INCLUDED that!!!!! god y'all the end of the system era was pretty disappointing but it just made me think of the guys i'm living with. i know i wasn't a perfect host and was definitely a control freak when i first discovered i was part of them, and every day i try to make that right.... so this just reminded me of those times in awareness infancy where i was like. ok but i'm the one who fronts the most so i must be the real one!!! obviously not true anymore because julian's the host now, i mean i'm still real but knowing that logic is pretty busted... hehehe.... even realizing i was only the host for a handful of years up to that point was a shock!!! but retroactively trying to work things through with everyone and getting us to a functional place despite not being able to see a therapist about it yet... this was weirdly heartwarming in a way? seeing the headmates in their natural habitat, just chilling. seeing them get into internal conflict. dissociation periods used as windows into their mind. mike starting as insisting he was the one in control and who SHOULD be in control, even willing to abandon everyone for zoey, but going to being the least willing to integrate because he would miss everyone and valued their existence.... i know they can only fit so much development in 20 min episodes of a show thats supposed to focus on multiple people (non-systems at least) so i think their story was cramped in that aspect, but if it were a more serious non-reality show focusing more on mike& in general it would have been WAY smoother. but like. i understand the shorthand and can see the allusions and whatnot. i know what they were trying to do. and i LOVE it. it's not perfect but this is the first time i watched something in a good while that felt like it encapsulated ANYTHING close to my personal experiences being in a system and being the disgruntled host, and seeing a little bit of my closest comrades in mike's headmates was just icing on the cake. :) i think the only thing i would have liked better was if instead of an integration they either agreed to work together and be more functional/rehabilitate mal, or if someone new split entirely to act as the mediator.. idk total drama is pretty stressful!! it's the right environment for it!!! and especially the inner system conflict!!! i don't know i think after all that, they needed someone to be the impartial third party to help settle conflicts and junk... just my onion though

#cube #talking #loud text -#ask to tag #SO I AM HAVING A NIGHT #EDIT: I AM LITERALLY JUST SITTING HERE ABOUT TO EXPLODE /POS

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captainpufferfish · 3 years

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Hurts More Than Just a Memory

AO3

(logan’s birthday fic!!)

Summary:

Logan's got a lot of memories.

Not all of them are good.

(tws for unsympathetic patton, misgendering, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, memory alteration, arguing, ask to tag for anything else!!)

Logan cursed. That was quite out of character for them, but seeing as they had been trying to clear out Thomas’s long term memory and had actually done... this, they felt that it was warranted.

Thomas’s long term memory needed to be cleared out once per year, so that he could get rid of memories that he didn’t need and recover the ones that he did. As Thomas’s brain, it was Logan’s job to do this.

Usually, Patton helped them, because they both shared the concept of memories- Patton usually foresaw the more sentimental and nostalgic side, while they were in charge of the memory itself- but since the Moral side was currently out in the imagination with everyone else, they had to do it alone.

Which wasn’t pleasant.

The way that Long Term worked was most accurately depicted in the movie Inside Out, except the memories weren’t conveniently color-coded, were far heavier and the shelves were more like the kind you would find in a bowling alley. The way the movie showed it was also heavily simplified- not only was there Thomas’s Long Term, but each of the sides as well.

They had a library, of sorts, but with the same shelves as Thomas’s space, and each of them had their own shelves. Everyone’s memories could only be touched or viewed by the person that they belonged to, but because cataloging them was Logan’s (and up till recently Patton’s) job, they had access to everything.

So obviously they ended up fucking it up.

They had nearly finished organizing their own shelf, the final shelf they had to do, but they had reached up to rub their aching shoulder and one of the memories (a particularly heavy one, judging by the thud it made when it hit the ground) slipped out of their grasp and rolled away from them. They had chased after it and had of course forgotten about the other ones they were holding, which of course fell to the ground, rolling in the same direction. (They really wished that they had fixed the slight angle of the floor at that moment.)

They ran down the aisle, losing sight of them as they rolled under Virgil’s shelf and towards the clearing.

And froze as they realized where they were.

The viewing room.

They cursed every small inconvenience that caused them to be standing in that doorway, watching as the grey, faded memories teetered on the edge of the podium, about to fall into the dusty old pipe that would broadcast them throughout the mind palace. Because today couldn’t get any worse.

They stepped closer.

Wrong choice.

The last thing they heard was the orbs crashing into the pipe, and then everything went black.

Curiosity ran down the hallway that connected Fear's room to everyone else's. They were visibly smaller, almost a child, and instead of their usual outfit, they were wearing an oversized blue sweater, jeans, and a giant lab coat that dragged along the floor behind them. They were looking back at someone, laughing slightly as they burst through the door.

“Hi Fear! You’re not gonna believe what happened!”

Fear looked down from where he was sitting on a shelf, a small smile on his face as he listened to Curiosity ramble.

“Lies told me and Creativity that we could eat bugs and then we searched it online and the computer said that we could so Creativity made bug candy but then I tried to eat it but the bug was alive so I spat the bug out and the other Creativity screamed so Lies screamed so I screamed and then Joy smashed the bug with a broom because he doesn’t like spiders and so I took a closer look at the spider guts and now I have a pot full of spider guts!”

“...Nice! Please don’t show me!”

Curiosity giggled and climbed onto the desk, nearly falling as they sat on the shelf next to Fear. “You’re really cool, Spooks! You’re my favorite brother!”

“Thanks, Asteroid.” He shrugged and hid his smile behind his hoodie paws.

The two creativities ran in, matching shocked looks on their faces as they made various noises of protest, “We thought we were your favorite brothers!”

“Great, it’s Thing One and Thing Two.”

The two Creativities dissolved into an argument about who was Thing One and who was Thing Two, and as Fear broke up the argument by saying that Green was Thing One and Red was Thing Two, (because stupid, immature humor came before butterflies and rainbows, apparently) Curiosity grinned. There was no place they would rather be.

Curiosity huddled under their blanket, tears spilling down their face as they listened to the argument happening outside.

“You can’t stay here, Fear. Listen, I’m sorry, but Thomas needs to be good, and your Paranoia doesn’t help him. Neither do Lies or Green! You’re making him...you’re making him a b̪͇̣̘̳̝̎͜ḁ̡̻̘ͦ͆ͅd͑͏̝̙̥̻̝͎ ̫͓͖͇ͣ̔̆̚͠p̻͎̯̙̖̾ͯ̍͢e̡̘̲̳͕̊̿rͤ͏̙̗̙̰̰s̵̻̙̒ͣö̥̞̬̲́̉̐̒͠n̻̥̺͉̦͍͍̒̐͌͘!”

“Joy, please! I can help them, we can help them get better! And what about your “Good Sides”? This will destroy Curio, you know they spend all of their time with Lies! And Red loves his brother! You’re just being s̆ͬ͗͑҉̘̣͖̮̬̮̥ͅe̛̞̤̩ͪ̄̄l̮͙̜̟̮̯̗̋͞f̷̞̘͚̥̭ͣ͊į̙̠̦̥̳̟̎͐ͫ̈́s̖̣͍͎̠͛ͯ͌͡ḧ̯̙̖̘ͪ͛ͬ͜ !”

“So I’m the one who’s being s̆ͬ͗͑҉̘̣͖̮̬̮̥ͅe̛̞̤̩ͪ̄̄l̮͙̜̟̮̯̗̋͞f̷̞̘͚̥̭ͣ͊į̙̠̦̥̳̟̎͐ͫ̈́s̖̣͍͎̠͛ͯ͌͡ḧ̯̙̖̘ͪ͛ͬ͜? At least I’m doing what’s best for T̎ͥ͏͇̬h͉̗̰̲̬̹̽͑̊̉͝ȯ͇̪m̡̭̯̥͒ͫ̽a̤̱͔̜̐̊͞s̛̬̣̲͆͛̎! You’re just m̛̭͍͔͍̈̀o̵̺̩̣̭̹͚̱͂ñ̰̹ͧ͡s̵̟̪̱̟͉͇̦̎t̩̟͔̯̗̥͋̋̽ͭ͝e̲̘͚ͩ̽͟r̵̲̭͚͎̳͋̒͋ !”

“At least I’m not hurting anyone!”

“You’re not hurting anyone? Oh, right, anyone except T̎ͥ͏͇̬h͉̗̰̲̬̹̽͑̊̉͝ȯ͇̪m̡̭̯̥͒ͫ̽a̤̱͔̜̐̊͞s̛̬̣̲͆͛̎ !”

“I’m not hurting T̎ͥ͏͇̬h͉̗̰̲̬̹̽͑̊̉͝ȯ͇̪m̡̭̯̥͒ͫ̽a̤̱͔̜̐̊͞s̛̬̣̲͆͛̎, I’m helping him, you’re just so close-minded that anything you think is bad has to be gotten rid of! You’re the V̡͈̖̮̰͚̥̂ͭi̵̺͎̠͐̓͑ͯl̢̮͉̗͕̽ͮ̌l̿͑͏̺̙̪̗̙a̡͔̮̦̳̤̠͈ͬ͆̄ị͚̳͈̙̻͊̽͘n̜̩͛̀̄ͅ here!”

“I’m the V̡͈̖̮̰͚̥̂ͭi̵̺͎̠͐̓͑ͯl̢̮͉̗͕̽ͮ̌l̿͑͏̺̙̪̗̙a̡͔̮̦̳̤̠͈ͬ͆̄ị͚̳͈̙̻͊̽͘n̜̩͛̀̄ͅ? At least you look the part!”

They breathed out a small sob, curling in closer to the others. They were all in similar states: Lies was curled up next to them, swiping furiously at his tears with his beanie and muttering angrily, quietly enough that Joy and Fear couldn’t hear him. Green and Red were whispering reassurances as they listened to the second-youngest and the oldest tear apart their family.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was later that night when Curio heard something. Red had told them that only him, Curio, Lies, and Green knew about the room. But they were all in the room.

So the door shouldn’t be opening.

They stifled a small gasp and slowly, trying to remain in the darkness of the corner, slid under the cabinet, brushing aside all of the fairy lights and blankets they had stored under there. (They were the only one small enough to fit underneath, seeing as the only other one who theoretically could get in presumably didn’t have access to the room.)

They watched in silent horror as the small figure, one who would have been indiscernible if not for the shine that reflected off the lenses of polka-dotted glasses and the faint pale blue aura that surrounded him, crept towards the pile their brothers were sleeping.

They watched as the figure leaned in closer to the sides, placing his hands on each of their foreheads.

They watched as the figure pulled away with four translucent spheres, each of which faintly glowed a bluish-purple color.

They watched as Patton sent to memories where only he and Curio could- Memory Dump. (Turns out, a few years later Inside Out got the right idea, just made it ten times flashier.)

They watched as Green and Lies were taken.

“Why am I here? What’s going on? Where’s Lies and Green? Where’s Fear?

“Logic, stop it. You aren’t Curiosity anymore, act like it.”

“Just one visit? Please?”

“Logic, I’ve told you time and time again, you can’t visit them! They’ll hurt you, okay? Dark Sides are bad.”

“Please, just. Just leave me alone!”

“Come on Logic, you know that you’re not supposed to act like this. Good children do what they’re told, and besides! You wouldn’t want me to leave, would you? At least I listen.”

“Moral- Dad. Could you please just use my correct pronouns? Once?”

“Oh, of course! You’re such a cool guy, Logic!”

“I’m not a guy.”

“That’s not the point though! You’re so silly, Lolo!”

“I know that we’re getting closer to the other sides, okay Logan? But just remember. I left you with the memories of before for a reason. If you tell anyone else, I’ll take them away. Permanently. Now go bother Virgil.”

“Patton? Virgil? Roman? Do you remember what day it is?”

“Oh, Lolo! Is it clearout day today? I’m so sorry, I promised Roman I would go into the Imagination with him today!”

“O-Of course. That’s all that’s happening today. Yes. I’m going to leave now.”

“Wow, he seemed stressed. Are we sure that we aren’t missing anything? November Third isn’t an important day for anyone, right?”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Virgil. Let’s go.”

Six sides woke up from being knocked out, four with tears in their eyes. One of the other two was faking.

The other stayed asleep, trying desperately to avoid the conversation that was inevitably going to happen.

#jaz writes #sanders sides fanfiction #logan angst #nb!logan #u!patton #tw misgendering #tw memory alteration #tw gaslighting #tw manipulation #happy birthday logan

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mdwatchestv · 4 years

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Everything I’m Going to Watch in April: *** SUPER QUARANTINE EDITION***

I mean.... here we all are then.

Usually in these blogs I try to keep the fantasy alive of like “oooh maybe I really am going to watch all of these shows!” But, let’s just cut to the chase - you’re bored, you need to fill the yawning void of time between now and when they let us back outside (June?), you clicked on this for cold hard content recs. I hear you, I see you, I adore you, I’d love to embrace you, but most importantly: I got you. This month, I’m listing everything that could even remotely be in the realm of watchability. I do it for you.

BUT FIRST - Let’s talk about QUIBI. Quibi (“Quick Bites”) has been a looming threat for a long time and its time is finally nigh. Designed for “people on the go” (lol remember them?), it’s tv, movies, and docs released in ten minute or less “bites” on your mobile device. I think it’s supposed to tap into the same part of your brain that wants to watch 100 Tik Toks when you are technically “in bed” but haven’t put your phone down yet. It launches April 6 and you can get a 90-day free trial! Just the length of the rest of our time indoors! And on that date Quibi is ready to absolutely blast you in the face with a shotgun of content and celebrities. Chrissy Teigen is a judge, Chance the Rapper is Ashton Kutcher, Liam Hemsworth is a dying task rabbit. We are flipping murder houses, break dancing, and learning how to become drag queens. Also turns out this is the final resting place of When the Streetlights Go On! Who knew. I can not do individual recs because I am just one girl, and Quibi is a vast, merciless ocean of bites. However you are welcome to drown in a full list of their offerings here: GOOD LUCK

Now in case Quibi doesn’t permanently disfigure the television industry and forever alter all of our viewing habits, here’s what’s on “real” TV:

Friday, April 3rd

Home Before Dark (Apple +)

A tiny child journalist solves a cold case in a small town! This is based on a true story (?!?!?) Adorable! Gritty!

Harley Quinn Season 2 (DC Universe)

If you want to continue the high of Birds of Prey, I have heard the animated series is actually pretty good. No idea how to get DC Universe tho, you’re on your own there.

Money Heist Part 4 (Netflix)

La Casa De Papal! Never been a better time to learn to speak Spanish AND plan the perfect heist with your hot criminal friends!

Tales From The Loop (Amazon Prime)

A sci-fi show based on Simon Stålenhag’s paintings (see above). Its Swedish, its futuristic, Rebecca Hall is in it. Feels like more of a vibe than a show tbh, but the painting is cool!

Sunday, April 5th

Kim Kardashian West: The Justice Project (7pm on Oxygen)

I KNOW some of you want to watch this.

Thursday, April 9th

The Good Fight S4 (CBS All Access)

PSA: This is back for those who partake, and CBS All Access is doing one month free! Sir Patrick said so!

The Circle: France (Netflix)

Okay so I did watch all of The Circle, Netflix’s social media reality show. Am I proud? No. Am I going to watch it in French? Yes.

Sunday, April 12th AKA NATIONAL PWB DAY

Killing Eve Season 3 (9pm on BBC America / AMC)

Admittedly, I was underwhelmed by season 2 but that’s only because season 1 set the very highest bar imaginable. Our favorite murder girlfriends are back with a NEW lady show runner, so blank slate baby. Speaking of the perfect season 1, it is all on HULU.

Run (10:30pm on HBO)

After Killing Eve hop right on over to HBO where this show from PWB’s writing partner Vicky Jones premieres! What a day for us! Ex-lovers abandon their lives to RUN away together. Merritt Weaver! Phoebe is actually IN it! Romance! Intrigue! Also I have official confirmation: Domhnall Gleeson is doing his natural accent for those of us made nervous by the teaser.

Wednesday, April 15th

Mrs. America (FX but on Hulu)

Look, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking: Rose Byrne is the most underrated actress alive, every performances is a master class, and her American accent is a work of art. Anyway she plays Gloria Steinem in this and she’s going to absolutely crush it. This miniseries about the ERA could not be more on brand for me: fabulous actresses of today, playing feminist heroes of yesterday! Thank you FX, for this gift. And thank you Australia for Rose Byrne (and Cate Blanchett!)

What We Do in the Shadows Season 2 (10pm FX on FX and then on Hulu)

Season 1 also on Hulu to catch up! Maybe even I myself, your dearest blogger, will catch up. Anything is possible.

Thursday, April 23rd

We’re Here (9pm on HBO)

Shangela, Bob the Drag Queen, and Eureka travel the country and empower people by making them into drag queens! Like a hug for your heart (in case you never actually physically hug anyone ever again).

Friday, April 24th

Defending Jacob (Apple +)

Chris Evans has to defend his son, Jacob. Look, do you want to stare at Chris Evans or not?

Sunday, April 26th

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (10pm on Showtime)

A sequel to the OG Penny Dreadful, the new series takes place in 1930s Los Angeles and Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, and um other supernatural chaos too I guess.

Vida Season 4 (9pm on Starz)

One of the shows most recommended to me I haven’t watched. I’ll say to you what my friends say to me: “Martha it’s only 30 minutes!”

Monday, April 27th

Never Have I Ever (Netflix)

A teen comedy by Mindy Kaling about an Indian-American girl growing up in the valley. There will be awkwardness and growth! I love teens!!!

I Know This Much Is True (9pm on HBO)

2 Mark Ruffalos.

Okay if you can’t find something here to whittle away the minutes unto freedom then idk how to help you. Please stay inside and watch tv, stay safe, I love you, I’m thinking of you <3

XO MD

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writing-for-amusement · 4 years

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Commission for Confidence, 11

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with her self-esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: The long awaited chapter! I’m so sorry, you guys, I know that I left a lot of you waiting. This semester completely wiped out everyone I know (even people that attend other universities have been like, ‘yeah this semester was the worst’), and I’m really going to try to get stuff out during break! This chapter might not be as long as I wanted it to be, but I figured, why not give you guys something with actual substance? (It didn’t have much in the way of substance until like 10 minutes ago lmaoooo) Anyways, here it is, let me know what you think and what you think should happen next!

Also, I’m taking some one-shot requests! Send me an ask; I’d prefer if they were winter/holiday themed, just for the heck of it, but you can ask for anything! (Send me nsfw requests tbh, I’m raring to write some)

As always, a strikethrough means that the tag didn’t work

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Word Count: 3529

Warnings: some minor injury stuff, cuteness, some fluff, some anxiety/self-esteem things (v minor), things get a little steamy

Two weeks later, you were mostly healed, and you had been talking to Peter nearly nonstop. You had been able to meet up for coffee very briefly, and occasionally he would send you the works in progress he was creating to get some feedback. Peter also gave you written updates about your commission, but he hadn’t sent you any drafts.

You were getting ready to go to bed on a Wednesday when someone knocked on the window of your fire escape. Quickly grabbing your steel baseball bat, you hesitantly walked from your bedroom to your living room. Your other hand was holding your phone, poised to call the police. But your fear was unnecessary.

Spider-Man was waiting next to your window, his eyes widening as he saw you approach. You could tell that he was grinning at you, and you made sure to obviously roll your eyes at the superhero. Instead of unlocking the window, you stood next to it and feigned thinking about letting him in.

Spider-Man tapped again, and you could tell, just on instinct, that he was pouting at you. So, you gave in, unlocking the window and opening it for him.

“Thanks,” he said with the weird voice changer. “Thought I’d freeze out there.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed playfully, “it’s not that bad. I’m sure you generate a lot of body heat anyway, especially with that suit.”

“Maybe,” he chirped. “You tell me.”

Then, he was wrapping you in his arms in a hug, and your brain briefly short circuited. After a moment of thought, you hugged him back, trying to calm your pounding heart, and trying to register if he did run hot.

He did run hot, and as you didn’t want to move away, you cursed yourself for being touch starved all the damn time.

“You do,” you said into his chest, your voice muffled.

“That’s what I thought. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t cold,” he stated happily, not moving to let you go. His heartbeat was steady in your ear, and the longer he was wrapped around you, the more he seemed to relax.

“You alright, Spider-Man?” you found yourself asking.

“Yeah,” he sighed slightly, shifting a bit. “Just tired, you know? There isn’t too much crime going on lately, but that makes it feel like the other shoe is about to drop, ya feel?”

You huffed a chuckle into his chest and tilted your head up to look at him. “I understand what you mean.”

“What about you? How are things going with that guy you told me about?”

You sighed into his chest lightly before saying, “He’s one of my best friends.”

“But?”

“I don’t know, Spider-Man, that’s all I’ve got. I really like him, he’s a wonderful friend and a wonderful person. I doubt he’d be romantically interested in someone like me.”

“Not this again,” Spider-Man groaned slightly. “You’re wonderful, Y/N.”

"I know that,” you told him. “But I think he’d be more interested in someone else.”

“You don’t know that.”

You shrugged again, finally pushing away from him. “Like I said before, people aren’t really interested in me.”

“You don’t know that, either.”

“You don’t know that people are romantically interested in me.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow. “Other than the statistical probability, how do you know? Huh, Spider-Man?”

“I’m interested in you,” he said quietly, almost sheepishly.

You blinked in surprise before letting out a laugh that you hoped would mask your pounding heart. “Thanks, Spider-Man. That actually does make me feel a bit better. Do you want some water or something?”

As you turned to go into the kitchen, Spider-Man grabbed your hand and essentially twirled you into his chest. You looked up at him in surprise as he tilted his head down to press your foreheads together.

“I mean it,” he admitted softly.

Your heart pounded in your veins as you placed your hands on his chest. He was so familiar somehow, so comforting. You were unsure of how to react and your skin felt like it was on fire, so you did the most logical thing. Tilting your head to the side a bit, you pressed a kiss to his masked cheek.

Spider-Man’s eyes, which had closed during the forehead press, opened quickly, going almost comically wide. He saw you pointedly avoiding his white gaze, your lip between your teeth nervously. After a few more moments of silence, you broke away from him and cleared your throat.

“I, um, sorry,” you stuttered slightly, walking into the kitchen. You grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down, sighing in relief as it cooled your throat.

As you turned around, you saw Spider-Man right behind you. His mask was pulled up over his nose, and you could see his lips. He stepped closer to you and your body was frozen. Your heart, however, was setting your skin on fire.

Spider-Man pressed his lips against yours softly. When you responded in kind, he was suddenly kissing you hungrily, as if he’d wanted to for as long as he’d been alive. He wrapped strong arms around your waist and squeezed as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Kissing the superhero felt so… right.

After a few more moments of passion, Spider-Man pulled away from you. What you could see of his face was flushed adorably, in an achingly familiar way. He yanked his mask back down and you could hear the difference in his breathing because of the voice altering device he had in his mask.

It did hurt a little bit, in the corner of your heart, that he still wouldn’t use his real voice with you when you had just been making out, but you pushed it away. Swallowing dryly, you felt like the world was just a little sharper.

“I, um, I’m so sorry,” he stuttered. “There’s a… big thing going on right now, a robbery. I have to go, I’m so sorry, I promise I don’t kiss and run.”

Words were escaping you, so you simply nodded. He beamed at you through the mask before pressing a kiss to your forehead and hurrying to the window. After wrenching it open, he was gone into the night.

You stared after him for a few moments before you slowly made your way to the window. The cool air wafted over your burning skin; you savored the moment of relief as you filed the event away in your mind.

Shutting the window, you went to a cold, empty bed. Alone.

The next few days were uneventful. You went to work, ate food. You texted Peter, even talked for a few hours on the phone for no reason, but that was it. Nothing major happened, and Spider-Man didn’t visit you.

On Saturday night, you were curled up on your fire escape and reading a book in the light of your reading lamp. You were aware that it was getting late, but you were too engrossed in your book to really care. Not only that, but you were incredibly comfortable under your fuzzy blanket.

A body landed on your fire escape and you let out a yelp of surprise, scrambling to your feet and holding your hand over your chest. The body was still in the shadows, but you raised your large book in your hands to throw, just in case.

A weak chuckle made its way to your ears on the wind. “It’s me,” Spider-Man said.

“Jesus Christ, Spidey!” you swore, taking the two steps needed to be closer to him.

He chuckled again, the voice changer off and making him sound too familiar. “Hope you don’t mind that I’m getting blood on your fire escape.”

“Peter?” you breathed out, helping the man to his feet. “Jesus fuck, Peter, what happened?” you slowly helped him through the window to your apartment.

“I’m surprised you’re not yelling at me for stupidity,” he told you after a wince.

“You’re bleeding,” you explained as you let him drop into a wooden chair. “I’ll yell at you when you’re not bleeding everywhere.”

He huffed out a laugh. “That makes sense.”

You shook your head and hurried to get your first aid kit, mentally pausing for a moment to thank yourself for learning how to do stitches and taking a decent amount of first aid classes.

When you got back to him, Peter had taken off his mask and his suit was loose around him. You could see the bruises and cuts covering his neck, chest, and arms. There was a bad bruise on his jawline. The pain was obvious, written all over his chest, and it hurt your heart.

You sighed as you pulled the suit down more, uncovering more bruised and cut skin. With a steady hand, even while you were completely aware that he was watching you, you cleaned the cuts. There were only a handful of them that you thought would need stitches, so for the moment you bandaged them to stop some of the bleeding.

“What happened?” you asked Peter quietly while bandaging the other cuts.

Peter hissed as you tenderly pressed on a bruise. “Had a nasty fight with Doc Ock. Thankfully, no bullets with that guy.”

You huffed slightly as you wiped some blood from his chest. “If you came to me out of the blue with a bullet and showed me your secret identity, I’d be fucking upset, I do admit. Next time,” you gave him a small smile, “if you do come with a bullet, I’ll be prepared.”

“Thanks,” Peter smiled weakly at you.

Giving him some warning, you quickly sterilized your needle and got ready for the stitches. Peter watched you through his eyelashes, barely flinching as you passed the needle through his skin. You tried to block it out, you truly did, but his gaze was so intense that you nearly messed up a stitch.

“Do I make you nervous?” Peter murmured as you finished with one set.

“Do you want an honest answer, or do you want a lie?” you asked, glancing up at him only briefly. You started to stitch up another cut on his chest.

“Honesty, always.”

“Yes,” you said quietly.

“Why?”

“Do I make you nervous?” you asked instead.

“Yes.”

“Why?” you asked, finishing a stitch.

“Because you’re amazing.”

You scoffed and did another stitch. A few more, and you’d be done. You were a little surprised that you were so good at them, but perhaps because it was so methodical, you were doing better with it. Still, no matter what, you were glad you were almost done.

As you finished, wiping off the last bit of blood, Peter’s gentle hand raised your chin to look at him. He smiled at you, but his eyes were serious.

“Y/N,” he murmured, “you are amazing.”

You gave him a small, disbelieving smile, and moved back from him. “Let’s get you some ice for those bruises, and some water. Are you hungry?”

“No,” he said quietly, “not really at all. I’ll take that water, though.”

You hummed in acknowledgement and hurried to the kitchen. Preparing the ice bags, you wrapped them in some tea towels. Then, after pouring a glass of water, you carefully balanced everything in your arms and walked back out.

Peter had moved to the couch, his suit discarded, and was only in his boxers. You carefully kept your eyes from tracing down his body while you handed him all of the ice packs. He let out small hisses as he placed them on the most prominent bruises, before taking the glass and sitting back. It took him all of thirty seconds to down the glass and place it on the floor.

“Sit with me?” he asked gently.

You sat next to him, careful to put a bit of space between the two of you. Peter seemed upset at that, and instead gently tugged you over to him. Rather ungracefully, you fell into his side. Even though he winced with pain, he squeezed you closer to him.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his eyes fluttering with sleep. “You’re my favorite.”

You huffed with amusement and felt sleepiness come over you too. You wrapped your arms around him and snuggled into his chest. He hummed, the vibrations ringing through his chest almost like a purr, and you both quickly fell asleep.

You woke up a few hours later, noting how early it was. Peter was awake and watching you both sleepily and intensely, if that was even possible. He gave the plush of your hip a squeeze with his large hand before rearranging the both of you.

Peter slid you over his body while shifting to lay on his back. He settled you on top of his chest, staring up at you, before wrapping his arms back around your waist. Then, he turned his head slightly and fell back asleep, even snoring lightly.

As easy as that!

You kept your scoff to yourself and decided to instead live with what was going on. After snuggling into his bare chest, you hesitantly pressed a kiss to his heated skin.

At that moment, you were glad he was asleep.

You weren’t sure what to do with these pesky feelings of yours. Truth be told, you couldn’t even be sure if Peter returned those feelings; you hoped he did, but past experiences warned you to never, ever assume.

Then again, he had kissed you…

But then again (again), he had only kissed you as Spider-Man.

And he ran. Well, he ran to fight crime, but still.

“Maybe he only kissed you to make a point,” that voice in your head whispered.

“I can feel you thinking right now,” Peter’s sleepy voice mumbled.

“Sorry,” you muttered, tucking into yourself a bit.

“What’s on your mind?” he breathed.

“I don’t want to ruin your sleep.”

“You could never ruin anything.”

“You’d be surprised,” you muttered bitterly, sighing a bit.

“C’mon, what is it? You’ll never get to sleep if you don’t tell me about it.”

You sighed and sat up, crossing your legs and hunching over slightly. “I just… don’t know how to deal with it.”

Peter slowly sat up as well, wiping the side of his face. “How to deal with what?” he asked as he stifled a yawn. After a moment of looking at you closely, he took one of your hands and scooted closer.

“Deal with my feelings,” you admitted softly as you quickly glanced at him and away.

“Which feelings?” he asked, matching your tone.

This was it. It was time to take the plunge and tell him.

“I know that we’ve only known each other for several weeks, but… I really like you. A-and if you don’t, that’s okay, really! I just… don’t know how to handle it because you’re so cute and handsome and sweet and nice and funny, and fuck, I just… I don’t know.”

Peter blinked slowly at you as you avoided your gaze. “I kissed you,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah, but you were Spider-Man, there could have been all sorts of factors for that.”

He seemed shocked at that sentence, and you closed your eyes to prepare for the inevitable. You prepared for him to laugh, or to tell you it was a joke, or to leave.

Instead, Peter leaned forward, cupped your cheeks in his hands, and pressed a long kiss to your lips. It wasn’t chaste but it wasn’t deep, and it made you feel as if all was right with the world. It was the best kiss of your life.

Peter drew back and you slowly opened your eyes. His gaze was warm and comforting; one hand moved down to cup your neck, while his other thumb passed lightly over your lips. You pressed a small kiss to it, making Peter beam.

You thought he was going to say something. He didn’t.

He simply moved forward again and kissed you deeply.

Feeling as though you could be contributing more to the experience, you let your hands move, sliding them to his shoulders and then around his neck. He let out a hum of happiness as you pulled him even closer to you, and Peter took that as permission to kiss you with more fervor than the previous two.

Your heart fluttered in your chest as you melted further into him. One of his hands slid down from your neck to your hip, giving you a soft squeeze exactly as he nipped your bottom lip. Letting out a small whimper, you tangled a hand in his hair.

Peter let out the most delicious growl as you did, surging forward and carefully lowering you to the couch. Your leg wound around his torso as he perched himself over you, his lips only moving from yours briefly. He ran his tongue across your lips, urging you to open your mouth, which you gladly did.

You felt like you were on fire, in the best way possible. Still, your mind was racing, and you were starting to feel overwhelmed by all the emotions. The next time he nipped at your lip, you regretfully pulled away.

Adorably, Peter followed your lips slightly, making your heart skip. As you pulled back a bit more, though, he sat back slightly, his eyes overflowing with concern.

“A-are you okay, is everything okay, did I do something you didn’t like?” he blurted in a panic, starting to move back from you.

You quickly grabbed his face in your hands and pressed a small, gentle kiss to his lips. “Everything you did, I loved, okay? I enjoyed it very much. It’s just… so much right now. It’s almost like everything is firing at once, and I love it, it’s just that I think I need to breathe,” you reassured him.

Peter let out a sigh of relief and leaned a bit closer to you. “Is this okay?” he asked in a whisper as he put his forehead on yours.

You hummed and nodded, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Slowly, your heartbeat began to return to normal and the world came back from the sharp yet soft glow it had taken on after Peter kissed you.

After a handful of minutes just sitting with your foreheads pressed together, you opened your eyes again. Peter seemed calm, the serenity on his face warming your heart even more than his kisses from earlier. You moved your hand to rest lightly on his knee, only to be shocked by something vaguely cold and squishy.

Looking down, you erupted into laughter. Peter’s eyes flew open, concern etched into his eyebrows. As you leaned back with laughter, you held up the melting ice pack.

Peter blinked before he laughed, pulling one out from behind his back. That made it all the more amusing to you, and both of you were laughing for a good three minutes.

As your laughter came to an end, you felt yourself being pulled into Peter’s arms. He cradled you to his chest, nuzzling your neck with a hum.

“Peter,” you chuckled, “it’s late. We should go to sleep.”

“Hm,” he pretended to consider your suggestion. “Alright, let’s go!”

As you prepared to climb out of his arms, Peter stood up easily. You, obviously, followed his body upwards. You flinched in surprised, clearly not used to being in the air. With an incredulous look, you stared at Peter’s face while he walked to the bedroom.

“Peter!” you nearly shrieked. “Put me down! I’m too heavy!”

“Not at all,” he said simply, not allowing you to budge.

“No, seriously, Peter, I’m too heavy!” He stopped walking at that point.

“You are lighter than an ice cube, don’t worry. Do I look like I’m struggling?”

Your arguments died on your lips as you realized that he didn’t even look close to breaking a sweat. As you grew quiet, Peter slowly began to walk again. As you looked up at him, at his jawline, your hand came up to cup his chin. He grinned down at you and squeezed you a bit before reaching out to open the bedroom door.

As he crossed the threshold of your bedroom, you stretched up slightly and pressed a kiss underneath his jaw.

A dark, delicious growl left Peter’s mouth as he looked down at you with a smirk. Then, he gently tossed you onto your bed, where you landed with surprise on your back. You propped yourself up on your elbows almost immediately.

You blinked up at him and he growled again, only for it to dissolve into a whine as he flopped onto his back next to you. Peter’s fluffy hair made you chuckle, and he opened an eye to look at you as you turned on your side, a hand propping your head up.

With a smile (and the echoes of those growls in your mind), you gently began to pet his fluffy brown curls. “What’s wrong?” you murmured.

Peter let out a similar whine and threw his forearm over his eyes. After a few moments, he admitted, “If you keep looking at me like that, or touching me like that… it’ll be hard to keep myself from absolutely devouring you and making you scream my name.”

#peter parker x plus size reader #peter parker x insecure!reader #peter parker x reader #commission for confidence #artist peter parker au #plus size reader #plus size reader insert

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threewaysdivided · 4 years

Note

I saw your conversation about Sam Manson. I was talking to Imekitty about this, but I’ve noticed a few things that (sort of) make Sam’s relationship with her parents seem more like teen-drama than actual hardship. If you look closely, she’s got a lot in common with them: outspoken political-activism, possible shared-interest in vintage clothes, and no shame in saying they don’t like certain people. Also, after the Fentons, they were the first to volunteer to use the Ecto-Skeleton, risks and all.

(In reference to this post.)

It’s been a little while since I rewatched DP so I’m not well-placed to do a detail-analysis implication-breakdown right now, but yeah - that fits with the overall impression I remember getting. To me they came across as being sort of old fashioned set-in-their-ways conservative and snooty, and maybe a bit too Pleasantville - but more often in the way of parents who do genuinely want good things for her and to be able to be proud of her despite not really understanding her interests, choices or friends and being very bad at expressing it. Plus she seems to have her grandmother fully in her corner a lot of the time.

I really wish that the writers had committed to one or the other; either making it clear that Sam’s martyr/ persecution complex is mostly just regular self-inflicted teen-drama BS and giving her an arc addressing it, OR fleshing out the idea that she faces a lot of judgement/ pressure/ control/ nonacceptance in her home life and that her negative traits are a bi-product of defensive/ coping mechanisms resulting from that strained dynamic, rather treating things with Roger Rabbit Rules.

(Which isn’t to say that a person can’t have similar interests/ personality traits to, and positive interactions with, their parents while still having a strained, broken or even abusive relationship with them on a deeper level, but the show never really goes hard enough in either direction to make it work.)

As mentioned the last post, this is kind of a consistent pattern across DP - the writers tend go with the low-effort first answer for whatever is Funny or Awesome or Convenient in the moment rather than putting in the work to find a solution that’s consistent with the characterisation, themes and world-lore overall. There’s enough internal contradiction in the show that I don’t think it’s actually possible to take every canon detail as canon without fundamentally breaking things. And in some ways that’s kind of cool; it makes the series more open to interpretation, and trying to distinguish authorial intent from authorial incompetence and come up with theories that account for as many pieces of canon as possible is really satisfying. But, you know, it’s also kind of bad writing in general.

I think the thing that bothers me about Sam’s characterisation in particular is that - where it tends to be more obviously out-of-character when it shows up in other places - there’s a pattern to the inconsistency with how the writers handle Sam:

Throughout the series there’s a double standard in how Sam sees herself/ seems to expects others to act, compared to her own behaviour:

Despite being pro-pacifism she’s okay with smacking Tucker and encouraging Danny to destroy the trucks she doesn’t like

Sam values self-expression and is a feminist, but derides other girls for wanting to express themselves in a conventionally feminine way

Sam doesn’t like being forced to conform to others’ values but is okay with forcing others to conform to hers

Despite being anti-consumerist she shows very little discomfort at, or awareness of, her lavish home life and material belongings

She encourages Danny to take the moral high ground towards his bullies but has no problem antagonising and getting into petty verbal spats with Paulina herself

Sam stalks Danny and his love interest out of jealousy/ protectiveness but threatens to end their friendship when he does the same

In Mystery Meat, when Danny tries to express his discomfort/ anxiety, Sam hijacks the conversation to complain about her own parents instead of listening.

In One of a Kind Sam photographs Danny and Tucker hugging in their sleep, without their knowledge, with the stated intent of putting it in the yearbook, then uses it to blackmail them into silence.

Side note: this joke is also tacky on a meta-level because it boils down to “male intimacy ha ha toxic masculinity no homo amiright?“ Would have been nice if show didn’t use low-key sexist humour as much as it did.

Instead of expressing that she’s hurt by Danny’s “pretty girls” comment in Parental Bonding, Sam retaliates by pushing him to ask Paulina out - a move she knows will most likely result in him getting publicly shut down and humiliated.

Then, after getting the result she wanted, she comes over to gloat and insults Paulina, rather than dropping it now that her point’s been made, which is what ultimately sets off the episode’s subplot.

In Memory Blank Sam permanently physically alters Phantom’s appearance to better suit her tastes while he’s not in a position to understand or give informed consent, then lies when Danny notices and asks about it later.

To be clear this definitely isn’t the be-all-and-end-all of her character and it’s not there 100% of the time - there are plenty of moments when she is loyal and generous and helpful and sincerely kind and where her stubbornness comes in handy. But it’s the aggregate pattern of all these small instances that drives a crack through the foundation of her character integrity; producing this insidious undercurrent alternate-reading of Sam as someone who, at a deep level, just doesn’t respect or recognise that the emotional needs, pains, opinions, autonomy and boundaries of others are as real and valid as her own, and who responds to criticism with passive-aggressive hostility.

Again, I think that’s why people are so quick to point out that line from Phantom Planet, even though we all know the episode was a complete mess. None of the examples above are particularly bad in isolation - you can’t really point at any one of them and say “oh no, bad girl” without sounding like you’re making a mountain out of molehill and irrationally hating on her just to hate on her. It’s an uncomfortable slowburn pattern of subtle micro-transgressions that accumulates across the series - a “you might not notice it but your brain did”. And it makes sense that it would be the worst-written episode that amplifies and brings that regular bad-writing undercurrent close enough to the surface for people to consciously recognise and use it to articulate those frustrations.

To wit: Not because it’s most telling of her character but because it’s most telling of the specific bad writing that regularly hurts her character.

And again, from a storytelling point of view, it’s okay for Sam to have flaws. She’s a teenager! She’s learning. She’s allowed to be egocentric and self-important and do things that aren’t the best at times. It’s okay if these are her character weaknesses and a source of conflict with the rest of the cast. But again, for that to be satisfying something really should have come of it. It would have been nice if the writers were willing to have any self-awareness about these flaws being flaws that a person should recognise and grow past in order to have healthy relationships with others. But they didn’t - because it’s easier to keep her as she is - to the point that they’ll actively bend the narrative to roll back or skip over moments that would have necessitated that growth. So, even though they call attention to her flaws, the writers end up rewarding and enabling them instead of letting her learn.

And again, this isn’t meant to hate on Sam. Hanlon’s Razor in full effect: it’s clearly a result of authorial/editorial incompetence rather than deliberate malice. I know this isn’t the intended interpretation.

My preferred reading of Sam Manson is that she’s a Rosa Hubermann/ Hermione Granger/ YJS1 Artemis Crock-type character. Someone who’s passionate and forceful and maybe a bit abrasive and hard to love at a glance, but whose core nature is compassionate and sincerely kind and loyal-to-the-death for the people they value. I wish I could 100% like her without caveats; to be able to say that even if I don’t agree with her flaws I can at least understand that they’re a valid product of the life she lives, that they make her who she is and that she’s trying her best to be a good person who will get better despite them.

But I can’t because the writers don’t give her that. They’re always prioritising other things over the integrity of her character. They don’t give her background enough time and context to make her negative traits feel resonant with it (because that would take time away from the Wicked Cool Radical Ghost-Fighting Superhero Action™) and the framing and plotting doesn’t give her chances to recognise or grow past them (because that would mean character development and those negative traits are an easy source of cheap conflict). The writers just don’t seem to care all that much about Sam - her actual character, who she is, how she came to be that way, what she wants or how her negative traits would actually play against Danny and the others.

And that sucks. Because she has a lot of potential to be a well-rounded and great character. I’ve seen plenty of fics that seize that potential and roll with those gaps and the result is very good. I wish I could like her canon depiction without feeling like I have to actively ignore a bunch of latent behavioural red flags as the price of entry.

She deserved better.

#Danny Phantom #Sam Manson #Character Writing #Character Analysis #I'm also going to cop to the fact that this part of Sam gets to me personally #because it mimics some of my experiences with emotionally abusive relatives #feeling really uneasy and uncomfortable and upset but not being able to articulate what they're doing that makes you feel that way #and wondering if maybe it's your fault and you're just reading into things too much and you're bad for not defending them #until they do something really egregious and suddenly it's like 'oh' 'OH' 'OH SH*T THAT'S NOT OKAY'#And then you look back and see all the little red flags and from then on you can never un-see them #One of the reasons I only like fanon!AmethystOcean is I can see how badly things are likely to go when Danny's flaws meet these problems #Danny's canon flaws are ones that make him particularly susceptible to emotional abuse #and they accidentally wrote canon!Sam with a lot of latent proto-abusive red flags #they both need character development to work as a couple #but this is Danny Phantom and I guess we're chumps from expecting that #anonymous #3WD answers

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