#these took me way too long and at some point I lost all motivation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dustofthedailylife · 30 days

Text

You were not supposed to hear that...yet

→ Masterlist || → Taglist

Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader

Summary: Alhaitham reveals a secret about the inner workings of his heart to his friends over a cup of wine and in between some banter. However, he did not expect it would go this wrong...

Tags: Fluff, crack, comfort, teasing, consumption of alcohol (by characters), the whole 4ggravate crew is here, friendly banter between friends, a small sprinkle of angst because reader is insecure (but it's unjustified)

A/N: Dust posting a new fic?! Not an April Fool's joke, despite the date! Finally felt inspired and well enough again to finish this fic that has been rotting in my WIPs forever. I hope you like it. And feel free to hit me up with asks and reblogs - it'd motivate me greatly after my long break 🥺

The usual friend group of Cyno, Kaveh, Tighnari, and him - Alhaitham, was sitting at the Tavern. A gathering like it happened almost every weekend at this point.

The wine bottle on the table had been emptied around two or three times already when Kaveh ordered a new one yet again. At this point, Alhaitham had actually lost count of how many glasses of wine he'd already had, too. But one thing was for certain, he could feel the alcohol in his system and the warm blood that was rushing to his cheeks. All things considered though, despite feeling a little tipsy from the intoxication, he was still able to think clearly.

"Let me guess I'm the one who will have to end up covering your bill again?" He took sarcastic a jab at Kaveh.

The man in question just squinted his eyes and glared daggers at him before opening his mouth in an attempt to protest before it was quickly shot down by Tighnari's hand covering it.

Alhaitham leisurely leaned back in his chair smirking to himself, training his focus back onto the TCG cards in his hands and considering his next turn of action in the game he was playing against Cyno.

"What, am I just supposed to take it all the time and be quiet?!" Kaveh retorted, directed at Tighnari. The fox's ears were beginning to droop lower and lower as his expression became more and more deadpan.

"You all know as well as I do that if [Y/N] was here he wouldn't be acting like this. He would be on his best behavior and pay for the drinks without so much as complaining or being so cocky."

"By the way," Tighnari attempted to divert the attention away from Kaveh's ranting. "Where are they? Didn't you say they wanted to stop by the Tavern as well today, Alhaitham?"

Alhaitham played his round, throwing his card Cyno's way before looking up at Tighnari again.

"They mentioned it but I suppose something must've come up instead. I will ask tomorrow."

"Isn't it strange?" Kaveh addressed the others. "Whenever it involves [Y/N] he graciously offers himself up to talk to them and seek them out but whenever someone else is looking for him he is nowhere to be found."

"Maybe you just can't find me because I simply don't have anything to discuss with you." Alhaitham threw another jab at Kaveh with a smirk, which was promptly followed by a light punch against his bicep by the blonde architect.

"What? I constantly have to talk to you already when we're at ho-"

"SHHH! Don't say that out loud." Kaveh hissed, quickly covering Alhaitham's mouth in panic, since he didn’t want him to spell out that they were currently living together. “It's embarrassing enough that I currently have no other choice, no need to add to my misery.”

A witty quip was burning at the tip of Alhaitham's tongue after Kaveh's remark yet again, but he decided to swallow it. He didn't want to upset him too much, especially since he knew he'd had it rough lately. Even if it would've been said in jest, there was no need to add insult to injury. Instead, he simply resorted to taking another sip of his wine with a low chuckle and a glance in the blonde architect’s direction.

“Aaaaanyway…”, Tighnari cleared his throat, addressing Alhaitham once more. “What is it between [Y/N] and you anyway? You've become quite close haven't you?”

“That's an understatement.” Kaveh groaned, dropping his head on his folded arms on the table dramatically. “He can't stop talking about them. Day in and day out it’s [Y/N]-this, [Y/N]-that.”

“We started working on a project about six months ago. Things are progressing quite smoothly if I do say so myself. Certainly makes things easier if you're working with someone who is both hardworking and intelligent in every way. I’ve been lucky to have been assigned to the project with them.” Alhaitham answered Tighnari’s question rationally while ignoring Kaveh’s dramatic display.

“Here he goes again.” Kaveh huffed, directing his comment at Cyno and Tighnari. “Whenever he talks about them you hear nothing but praises.”

“If someone is doing a great job, is it not logical to give them the credit they deserve?” Alhaitham added matter of factly.

“No… I mean yes, but no. It's just not something I'd see you doing. It’s so out of character.” Kaveh huffed. “And before you say anything, yes, maybe I just don't know that side of you because I don't give you any reason to praise me. No need to add that, thank you.”

Kaveh poked his tongue out at Alhaitham before taking a big sip from his wine.

“Why, if you want to be praised you just need to say so, Kaveh. I think you're quite brilliant - your shortcomings aside.” He just had to add that last bit. Kaveh was just way too easy to tease. And what would this friend group be without the playful banter and jabs at each other?

Kaveh choked on the drink immediately and slammed his cup down onto the table with a loud clang. A fire burned behind his crimson eyes when he spoke next.

“This is exactly what I meant, thanks for proving my point!”

Kaveh looked at Cyno and Tighnari gesturing in the direction of Alhaitham with a move that said “Do you see what I mean now?”.

Tighnari just facepalmed and shook his head.

“And what is your point exactly?” Cyno inquired, playing a card from his hand.

“Did you not listen to what he said?” Kaveh gasped.

“Not really,” Cyno admitted honestly, his eyes trained back on the cards in his hands.

“It's the fact that he can praise others too, but never without also pointing out their faults in the same sentence. Did no one ever notice that? However, he never does that when it's [Y/N].” Kaveh explained.

“And?” Tighnari and Cyno replied in unison, looking puzzled as to where Kaveh wanted to go with this.

Kaveh put his head in his hand and groaned in frustration. “Sometimes you all make me feel like I am surrounded by idiots.”

Now everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

“You're all so clueless… anyway.” He sighed dramatically and accusingly pointed a finger at Alhaitham. “This guy. This admittedly handsome but blockheaded, know-it-all, stoic, annoying-”

“Get to the point.” Alhaitham chided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine, fine." Kaveh spread his arms like he was holding a presentation and Alhaitham his canvas.

“This guy's right here, as alien as it may sound – has fallen in love.”

“You're in love?!” Cyno exclaimed his eyes widening. “With who?!”

Tighnari rolled his eyes, knowing full well Cyno hadn't listed at all the past ten minutes because he had been so absorbed in his cards, and gently slapped the back of his head.

“[Y/N], of course!” The Forest Ranger exclaimed with a huff.

Cyno, now rubbing the back of his head just ushered a “Wait really?” while Kaveh and Tighnari just curiously began eyeing Alhaitham in the hope of seeing any type of confirmation on his face. However, it stayed as unreadable as ever.

He nonchalantly took another sip of wine from his cup while leisurely looking back and forth between the cards on the table and the ones in his hand before playing another turn as if this conversation just now hadn't happened.

“So!?” Kaveh asked, almost hysterically at this point. “Do you intend to enlighten us?”

Just how had he gotten into this situation now? Alhaitham suppressed a sigh before turning to Cyno: “Your turn. Two of your cards are down.”

“Archons!” Cyno cussed, immediately attempting to go back to study his cards but a fist slammed the table harshly, drawing all attention to it.

Tighnari flinched in shock and Cyno, too seemed to be pulled back to reality. Kaveh’s hand was trembling slightly, visibly agitated.

“Stop changing the subject, Alhaitham. The more you keep avoiding answering the question the more I think I am right in my assumptions.”

Alhaitham pinched the bridge of his nose beginning to truly feel a little stressed by Kaveh’s insistance. The man was truly too nosy for his good.

“Kaveh, just let it be if he doesn’t-” Tighnari began before being cut off by Alhaitham.

“And what if you are right? What then, Kaveh?”

Everyone at the table fell silent and everyone was staring at him with a mix of disbelief and shock.

He hadn't planned to reveal any of this yet, especially since he feared they would try to become his wingman. Which, admittedly, may be a nice gesture on paper but with them it could only end in disaster. Plus he would prefer to deal with his feelings alone first and think them through thoroughly, before talking about them with anyone. Besides, it should be you, if anyone, who should hear about them first - alas he was too deep into this now to weasel his way out.

“What?!” Kaveh’s mouth hung open in shock.

“So it is true then?” Cyno inquired, putting the card in his hand down on the table, now suddenly fully hooked on the tea that was being spilled.

“Hold on. Pause.” Kaveh sat upright, before quickly gazing over Alhaitham’s shoulder. “So you-”

“For Archon’s sake.” Alhaitham was beginning to get annoyed because he didn't know how much clearer he had to become for them to get it. “Yes - I’ve been in love with them. For a while now-”

“Alhaitham-” Kaveh tried to interject.

“No, don't interrupt me now, you pestered me about it for the past twenty minutes now you'll have to listen. I have never met anyone who is so hardworking, intelligent, and stunning in any way. Of course, I would be infatuated with a person like them. It would be hard not to fall for them.”

“Uhm Alhai–” Kaveh laughed awkwardly before being interrupted by Alhaitham’s ongoing monologue once more.

“At first I wasn't sure about it but I am now. I am thinking about them first thing in the morning and last thing when I go to sleep - unless you're hammering away on some project again that keeps me awake, Kaveh.”

Kaveh waved for him to shut up already but Alhaitham didn't let that bother him. If he wanted the full story with all the details - he'd get it. He hoped that would get this discussion out of the way once and for all.

“And guess what? They even remembered how I liked my coffee just after I told them once and gifted me a book that I had been trying to find for weeks. So yes, Kaveh. I love [Y/N]. There, does that suffice now, or?”

Kaveh let out a squeal as soon as Alhaitham had stopped speaking but upon further inspection of his expression, it hadn't been one of excitement but rather pure terror and awkwardness.

“Alhaitham…” Cyno and Tighnari said in unison and he only then noticed as well how their gaze was trained on a spot behind him.

“What?” Alhaitham inquired, curling a brow up in confusion before all three men pointed their fingers at something behind him.

When he turned his head around to look at what they were trying to show him, he felt his heart drop to his stomach for the first time in ages.

To his utter shock, you were standing right behind him. Or rather, you were frozen in place, your hand still half lifted in greeting as if you had just been about to greet the lot of them. Your mouth was slightly open in shock still and your pupils were but the size of pinpricks and transfixed on Alhaitham.

And judging by your reaction you must've heard every last word he had said.

“I-I…” You started stammering, clearly confused about what you had just heard. “I uh-, I'll head back home.”

You abruptly turned around on your heel and marched straight out the Tavern door you had just come through as if someone was chasing you.

Alhaitham hadn't moved a muscle ever since he had spotted you standing behind him and he looked like he was frozen in place. Everyone at the table had fallen so silent, one would've been able to hear a needle drop.

Alhaitham's eyes were still fixed on the door you had left through. The little bell that chimed every time the Tavern door hit it on the way in or out was still dangling lightly from the impact. But the movement was dying down slowly but surely - just like Alhaitham, who felt like someone had dropped a boulder on his chest.

You were not supposed to hear that, yet.

“You uh…, Alhaitham you should probably follow them.” Tighnari was the first to speak again. He awkwardly scratched behind his ears. Cyno hummed in agreement while Kaveh just sat there with his mouth wide open.

Alhaitham exhaled in frustration, unable to properly place his emotions. But they were somewhere between unsettled, nervous, and discomforted.

When he got up it felt like someone had tied heavy iron blocks to his ankles that were weighing him down.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Alhaitham muttered before marching off.

When you stormed outside the Tavern the cool evening breeze gnawed at your skin and made goosebumps erupt all over. Although you weren't quite sure if it was the temperature or your emotional turmoil at play here.

There was no way Alhaitham had just said that and actually meant it. He wouldn't be the type of man to flat-out admit that he had feelings for anyone. Or would he? He had been talking to his closest friends after all.

You were questioning your sense of reality and thought you must've fabricated it all in your mind. Or maybe you misheard what he said and he was talking about something else entirely.

But no, he said your name, and the others looked panicked when you entered the tavern and approached the table.

As you rushed through the streets of Sumeru City the chilly wind kept whipping in your face. Not even you knew where you were going at this point. You simply went where your feet were carrying you.

But eventually, you realized you had run up the Akademiya and to the blue-green mosaic pavilion that glistened in the last rays of sunlight. The spot at which you and Alhaitham often spent your lunch break together.

You sunk down on the bench exhaustedly and stared holes in the ground.

No way.

There was just no way.

Alhaitham. The man you had fallen for so hard that he had begun to occupy every waking thought you had. That man was supposed to have feelings for you and had just flat-out admitted it?

No, this simply had to be a dream. A bad joke. Or maybe even a bet between the group that they orchestrated to prank you.

You could feel your heart thumping in your head and it felt like your head was swimming. It was as if you had downed an entire bottle of wine by yourself, but you were as sober as one could be.

Yes, that had to be it. It was a bet between the boys over one too many cups of wine and they had all acted their parts out flawlessly.

You got up again walking to the railing, overlooking Sumeru city that shone majestically in the last remaining rays of sunshine that the day had to offer. Another gush of wind blew your way, making tears well up in your eyes. Although it may have also been your emotions who were to blame for that instead.

You inhaled deeply. Once. Twice. But nothing seemed to help calming the rapidly beating heart in your chest.

In your daze, you completely missed how someone had quietly come up to the pavilion as well.

Alhaitham leaned against the railing himself, looking over the city in silence, too. He was clearly ringing for words. Although you assumed the wrong reason for his struggle.

“Look,” you began, trying your hardest to suppress the tremble in your voice. “If you came here to apologize - please, spare me your words.”

He looked at you opening his mouth before closing it again right after with a silent nod. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink shade - you assumed it was caused by the alcohol he had downed at the tavern with the others.

“I hope that we can go back to normal tomorrow and just finish our project. I’d prefer if we kept our distance after that. I think it’s for the best” The words left your mouth at normal speed, but it felt like you had to force every single one out. They felt tenacious, like old chewing gum that you tried to pull out from in between your teeth.

“I understand.” He stated calmly before retraining his gaze back into the distance.

You both kept standing next to each other in silence for a long while before you decided to confront him about it directly. You eventually decided it was for the best if you got things off your chest now so that you could get over him quickly. Ripping it off like a band-aid would hopefully give you the relief you so desperately craved right now.

“You know,” you began. “I don’t know who came up with the idea and I also don’t care, no need to tell me. But you guys should never do this to anyone again because you never know how much it might end up hurting someone else’s feelings.”

Alhaitham stood upright and turned to face you directly. He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly cocked his head like he always did when he was thinking about something you said.

After a momentary pause, he asked: “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you shouldn’t toy with someone’s feelings as a prank. It’s never actually funny for anyone but the people who orchestrate such a prank. No matter if the other person reciprocates the feelings or whether they believe the statement, they always end up being the one who is being ridiculed.” You explained as rationally as possible, which was a stark contrast to the tempest that was raging both inside of your heart and mind.

“Especially when the person hoped to hear those exact words for the longest time, too…” You added. It wasn't more than an utterance under your breath - so quietly it was barely audible. But Alhaitham heard nonetheless.

“But I meant everything I said.” He stated matter of factly, seemingly catching on to the fact that you must’ve assumed the wrong things about the whole situation.

“What?! Alhaitham, please, there is no need to add insult to injury. You had your fun now–”

“No.” He gently took your hands in his, exhaling heavily. “Archons, you weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

He rarely swore which made the impact of his words even stronger.

“I wanted to tell you face to face and was waiting for the right moment to do so. But, just know that every word you heard and everything I said back at the tavern was the truth. No bet or scheme made me say it. Not that anyone would be able to make me say these things in the first place.” He sighed once more, giving your hands an emphasizing squeeze. “I meant it.”

“You did?”

“Every word.”

You felt the blood rush to your face and immediately lowered your gaze in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.

“Had I known this would happen, I would’ve told you everything right from the start. I don’t like how this went now but–”, he moved his hands up to cup your face. His beautiful turquoise eyes trained on no one but you.

“I’m absolutely certain I like you. You drive me crazy. And I love and hate how much you occupy every waking thought of mine because I can’t focus on anything when you’re around. And when you’re not, you’re still always on my mind. So please – be mine.”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

#genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin crack #genshin alhaitham #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #🍁 dust writes #🍁彡 gi

970 notes · View notes

harstyle · 4 days

Text

the styles' nanny: part two

Summary: Harry finally realizes his mistake, but is it too late? Featuring a strange encounter with Jamie’s mother, another sad drinking session and an unfiltered conversation that changes everything.

Pairing: plussize-nanny!y/n + older-singledad!harry

Word-count: 10.2k

Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, mentions of sex

here’s part one!

A/N: guys!!! It’s been three months!!! I hope you haven’t completely lost interest in this story :( I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting for so long, I just didn’t expect so many things to come up (plus somewhere along the way I lost motivation). I also hope you enjoy this second and (at least for now) last part. No smut, but maybe in a blurb/oneshot of some kind? Anyway thanks for waiting and happy reading!

—

I’m resigning. I will stay until we find a replacement but not longer than necessary. I thank you for your generosity during my time working for you, but I’m ready for a fresh start as I think it’s what would be best for me right now.

I’ll see you soon,

Y/N

That was the text Harry had received at 11am, just one hour ago. He’d called profusely, probably ten times in total, and sent out a pathetic amount of text messages that had all gone ignored and unanswered.

Harry had lashed out— he could see that now; he’d been horribly unfair and he had taken advantage of Y/N’s inability to express herself in situations of distress. Harry’s worst trait was his short-temperedness and while he had gone through years of therapy to work on it, sometimes it took ahold of him in ways he couldn’t realize until after the fact.

Of course the last thing he’d wanted was for her to resign, which was exactly why her message had twisted his stomach a bit more intensely than he would’ve liked; he had no idea how to rectify this situation. Most things in his life went as he wished and if they didn’t, he found it was easy to make it so they did. But not now— no, he had to think about this carefully.

It had turned one when his phone rang; he was typing away in his office, trying to distract himself. Her caller ID flashed on his screen, but it wasn’t her voice that caught his ears— it was a man’s. A man’s who’s name was Andrew.

“I’m from the viper,” he said, and Harry could swear he started seeing red, “your friend Y/N got a little too drunk for me to feel comfortable sending her away on her own. Is there any way you could come pick her up?”

Harry couldn’t help the string of curses which left his mouth as he gathered his house key. “Is she okay?” He asked, only to receive a conflicted hum.

“She had too many martinis and she was crying earlier. She said something about a fight.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, man. Will you keep an eye out until I get there?”

“Of course.”

As Harry got into his car, he felt the overwhelming urge to chastise her, to keep talking until she finally listened to him when it came to her own safety. Not even one day had passed since he’d had to pick her up the last time— no lesson learned, no regrets.

But then, as he neared the bar, the rational part of his brain advised him against it. Y/N was no child, she was aware of her actions and she knew what was best for her— so for Harry to act high and mighty would be wrong and uncalled for.

He needed to just be there for her. Drop the barrier and be there.

He was ready to offer that to her.

—

Y/N could swear her eyes were playing tricks on her. It wouldn’t be unrealistic, really, her vision had become blurry about an hour ago— but, well, she would probably recognize that silhouette anywhere. He wore jeans and a shirt and his hair was still styled for work; Andrew was pointing at her, and so his green eyes followed. When he spotted her, Y/N felt naked under his gaze.

And before she knew it, he was walking toward her.

“What are you doing here?” She demanded, lower lip jutted out in a pout. Y/N had gone drinking in the hopes of distracting herself— and yes, maybe it wasn’t exactly working, but it definitely wouldn’t start working if he was physically here.

“Andrew called me. Stand up, I’m taking you home.”

Andrew was somebody she‘d met a few hours ago. Originally he‘d flirted with her, asking questions about her as she sat at the bar willing to answer all of them soberly— but once eleven had struck, all she could talk about was Harry. Y/N wasn’t fond of airing dirty laundry so she‘d left the gory details of their fight out, but Andrew knew of a fight.

She was starting to regret it now that Harry was here.

Instead of doing as he’d asked— or ordered, more like, she leaned into the booth further.

“No.”

His eyebrow raised, “no?”

“I don’t leave or go out with dickheads. You taught me that.”

He looked ticked off and it satisfied something within her that had been needing it all night. When he breathed a sigh, eyes closing momentarily, she knew she had him.

“Y/N, would you please humor me and let me take you home? We can keep talking in the car, but not in front of these people.”

“What if I don’t want to go home, huh? Why are you always telling me what to do like you have the right? You’re not my dad.” Her words were slurred and her expression loose. Then she laughed to herself, giggled actually, ridiculously loud. “That’s funny, of course you’re not my dad cause he’s dead! Dead, six feet underground, you know? Probably lower, cause he definitely didn’t go to heaven! He’s, like, really deep underground.”

Concern warped his features.

“Y/N,” he warned, “please.”

She’d turned heads.

“But you know what you and my dad have in common? Yelling. Just yelling, for no fucking reason— yell yell yell, make it feel like my fault even though it isn’t. Right? That’s what my dad used to do to my mom, you know that? That’s why he’s in hell.”

She was pointing an accusatory finger at him, slurring even more than before.

“And you know what I said to her when she left him? That I would never let a man treat me that way. Never! Promised, hand on my heart and everything, I promised. But you’re different, aren’t you? Cause I like you, cause you’re not like my dad.” Her face fell again into the surfaces of her palms, “you’re not like my dad, but you reminded me of him. And I feel— feel like I’m betraying my mom.” Y/N hiccuped quietly, stumbling over a few words.

The gravity of her words were not lost on him— in fact, he’d never felt as guilty in his life.

“Hey,” he beckoned her to look at him, placing his tentative hand atop her arm, “we’ll talk about it. About everything. But not now. Not here.”

“You’re so confusing, you know that? One second you’re really nice to me and then— and then you aren’t.”

“Sweetheart,” he grasped her face as a last attempt to catch her undivided attention. Harry thumbed at her cheek and stared dutifully into her clouded eyes, “let me take care of you tonight. I’ll make it better.”

In all fairness, she’d lost the fight the second his eyes had met hers. There was something about them, maybe their deep shade of green or how effortlessly she could read them, that could probably persuade her into doing anything.

“Fine,” she mumbled after a minute, letting Harry wrap an arm around her waist as they walked. On their way out Y/N said goodbye to Andrew and stayed quiet otherwise, choosing to give Harry the silent treatment. Harry knew he couldn’t expect her to speak to him, so he didn’t force it.

As they drove, Harry couldn’t help glancing over every once in a while to study her expressions. There was barely a moment she wasn’t staring out the window watching cars drive by; even when his hand instinctively landed on her thigh she didn’t react, only moving it away slightly from his touch.

“Are you driving me to my apartment?”

And although both of them knew he’d really been directed toward his house, Harry still pretended to have chosen to take another route. “Course,” he muttered hoarsely, trying to mask his embarrassment with a quiet cough. Y/N sighed, her eyes pressing shut for a moment as she tried to let the guilt roll off of her back. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy.

“Where’s Jamie?”

He clicked his tongue. “Still at my mother’s.”

“Oh.”

The stubborn thing she was, Y/N refused Harry’s help getting out of the car. Instead she opened the door by herself, almost tripped when she jumped down from her seat and kept a distance anyway. Harry still watched, though, ready to help if needed.

Y/N unlocked the door (failing to find the keyhole several times) and kept it wide open for Harry to follow behind. The first thing she did was toe off her shoes followed by falling into bed.

“Y/N, have some water.”

“Stop telling me what to do,” she uttered, but accepted the glass of water anyway.

He ignored her. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m tired.”

“You can sleep as soon as you’ve changed and washed your face.”

She groaned, pulling a blanket over her head, “Harry…”

“Y/N.”

That stern mention of her name was enough to get her out of bed, limbs pretty much hanging loosely from her body as if she had no control over them— and honestly, it felt like she didn’t. Her eyes closed as Harry wiped a cool cloth over her face, ridding it of a light layer of makeup and sweat, everything that had accumulated at the bar. There were times she leaned into him, forehead falling to his shoulder and arms wrapping instinctively around his waist for support. She could swear that for a moment he’d pressed his lips to her forehead, but the daydream she was in barred her from really registering it.

“Why’d you go out drinking again?”

“Wanted to.”

“Told you not to do that. I meant it.”

“Well people keep hurting my feelings,” she mumbled, “and drinking your pain away is kind of a tradition in my family, so.”

Y/N had never really shared personal details about her family to Harry, but… well, the words were flowing right out of her mouth and the memories reincarnated newly in her head. She was referring to her mother, the former alcoholic in the family. Growing up her mother had drunk so much that she’d almost died from liver failure. As a small child Y/N had promised herself never to end up like her, but she was starting to understand more and more why her mother spent so many years drinking.

Harry‘s thoughts stayed internalized, but he made sure to make her feel heard. Rubbing over the top of her eyebrow, his breath hit her forehead as he spoke, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You didn’t deserve it.”

Her eyes peeked open, the previously warm towel no longer warm. Harry ran it under water again. “Deserve what?”

“Everything, especially the way I behaved earlier. I should’ve taken a moment to myself, instead I lashed out on you.”

It wasn’t until now that Y/N noticed the close proximity between her and Harry— obviously she knew he was cleaning her face for her, but it didn’t really click until now, she supposed. She could see everything, but it didn’t really matter; there was nothing about Harry, especially on him, that could deter her from thinking of him as the most beautiful man alive. Imperfections and all.

The towel met her neck this time, the other side held upright by his steady hand. She could feel his thumb tracing shapes on the surface of her skin and although she was trying very hard not to think of him in any inappropriate way, the image of his hand wrapped around her throat awakened something horrible within the confines of her intoxicated mind. It stayed there.

It was self destructive how often she spent thinking about him, really.

“You still there, baby?”

And he was so gentle— whenever he wasn’t yelling at her, of course— and soft, knowing the lines of what she could handle and what she couldn’t. No man had ever been this considerate and while it may just be his nature, it meant everything to Y/N. As the boundaries had begun to blur more and more, it became easier to misinterpret normal gestures for something more, something so much realer than it could ever be.

But he was calling her baby, and nobody had done that before.

“Yeah.”

“You were much more mouthy back in the bar,” he breathed out, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t wanna yell at me anymore?”

“No, I‘m not like you.”

“Ouch.”

Harry was humoring her and while it was really really nice; this whole thing, the gentle touches and the giggles shared in between a serious conversation, Y/N couldn’t let it get to her head.

“You were really mean to me and I didn’t do anything.”

His eyes searched for hers, but hers were stuck to his chest. “I know. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I’ll spend a long time trying, I promise. You’re so sweet to me, so nice, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You know that, right?”

And although her heart was still furiously bleeding out, she was willing to ignore that for now. Throw bandages on and refuse a trip to the hospital because really she was just fine. There was just something about how he spoke to her that made it feel like she was floating— like she really was fine.

“Yeah.”

“Good, it’s very important to me that you do.”

Y/N’s eyes nearly glazed over when she thought about Harry being like this on the regular. It was a dangerous game they were playing.

“Look at me,” he breathed, beckoning her to do so with the grip he still had on her throat. Her eyes looked so innocent in this moment and although Harry knew Y/N was nothing if not tainted, she looked like she’d never been touched by the realities of life. “So pretty, you know that? So beautiful.”

She felt smaller in his gaze. “You think so?”

Y/N didn’t think anyone had said that to her ever. Nothing of the sort.

“I know so.”

“Thank you.”

“How about we go find you something comfortable to sleep in, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N shook her head, willing to rid herself of this weird tension in her body before allowing Harry to lead her back into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed as Harry retrieved some clothes and looked up at him expectantly when she could barely keep upright.

“You sure?”

“I physically can’t stand up, Harry.”

And though he looked torn, he ended up reaching for her sweater to pull it over her body, revealing the lacy bra she hid underneath. Y/N’s breasts had always been the biggest ones amongst her skinny friends and growing up she often felt ridiculed for it, though she supposed she could count on Harry not to judge. They were just there, so why pretend like they weren’t?

For Harry, taking off Y/N’s sweater was a completely different experience and although he didn’t wish to be a creep, he couldn’t help but letting out an awkward but knowing cough when he accidentally stared right down them. He hastily threw the shirt he’d brought her onto her torso, scared of what would happen if he were to delay it any longer. Harry prided himself on being a respectful man, but being with Y/N had always tested that quality of his.

“What?” She asked, a touch of feigned innocence to her tone, and he rushed to shake his head.

She knew what.

“Nothing.”

“M’kay.”

“Stand up for me?”

Y/N felt less amazing about her thighs, to be frank. She couldn’t really explain it, but they weren’t visually pleasing to her; cellulite littered the back of them and she obviously didn’t have a thigh gap, but that had become less of an issue. Y/N felt like her thighs had no real redeeming quality. It was a destructive way of thinking, she would admit, but… well, she’d carried that around since childhood.

As Harry pulled down her jeans, she felt void of anything. She didn’t exactly feel great, but better than when other guys had taken off her trousers. It was probably his age. She figured maturity increased as age did, and if Harry were to dislike the look of her body, he would be graceful about it.

“Hold onto my shoulders and lift your right leg.”

He got on his knees in front of her, pulling one leg in after the other. After doing so successfully, he allowed her to get under the covers.

“I’m still mad at you,” she mumbled into the covers, eyes fluttering to a close.

He hummed, “I know.”

“But thank you.”

“Don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.”

“Mhm,” she breathed, “it’ll be the last time, I promise.”

Sleep was pulling at her eyelids.

“Last time what?”

He received no answer. Upon a closer look, he saw Y/N completely overtaken by sleep. Her lips were situated in a pout and her foot peeked out of her thick comforter in the way he had already seen last time he’d brought her to bed.

He allowed himself more time to watch over her this time, scared that if he were to leave it would be the last he saw of her. The anxiety settled on his chest in heavy waves and the image of a precious Y/N was slipping further away from his mind. He had been a horrible person, allowing himself to become the type of man he’d always tried not to be… and he couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t let this be that with her. He couldn’t bare it.

Harry had always thought of himself to be tattooed with imperfections. As he stared down at Y/N’s sleeping body, he couldn’t help the guilt that wrapped around him like a torture blanket. To him, she was perfect. She was kind and beautiful, she carried her heart out on her sleeve and overcame her past to grow in spite of painful trauma.

What he didn’t know, though, was that she thought the same of him. She thought of him as the most capable person, strong and kind. Her heart yearned for him in ways no one could comprehend.

She thought of him as everything but instead of embracing it, he’d pushed her away… and now both of them had to suffer the consequences.

—

Harry had stayed the night, but he hadn‘t slept; he‘d spent the night lying on Y/N‘s uncomfortable couch with various thoughts swirling around in his head. At eight he‘d stood up, started preparing breakfast and wasted time looking through social media to distract himself from the girl sleeping in the next room.

Y/N slipped out thirty minutes later, surprised when she saw Harry moving through her kitchen as though he knew it like the back of his hand. She coughed, not knowing where to put her arms and folding them in instead.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he tried to smile, “I hope you’re hungry, I made you a bagel with eggs if that’s okay.”

“That’s… yeah,” she swallowed a lump in her throat, stepping close to the counter, “thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“My pleasure. You—“ he pointed at the side of her face, “you have something there.”

“Oh, I—“ Harry reached forward to swipe at it, wiping his finger clean on his trousers and stroking her cheek once for good measure. “Thanks. Probably toothpaste.”

“Probably.”

Silence decorated their next few seconds, awkward glances and uncomfortable tension felt down to the bones. Then Harry straightened up and breathed in, simultaneously Y/N opened her mouth.

“I—“

“Are you— oh, sorry.”

“No, you go on,” she urged, waving a dismissive hand at him.

Harry smiled, “are you okay?”

“Uh, yes. Yeah, I am actually. Bit of a headache but that‘s expected. Thanks for…picking me up, I guess. I didn‘t want to be a burden, but I kind of told Andrew about you and he got a hold of my phone…“

Harry’s eyebrows drew together, “no, I’m glad he called. You should always reach out to me when you’re in trouble.”

“Yeah, but last time didn’t go over very well, so…”

Harry cleared his throat. “Right, I’m sorry about that. I was out of line, but that doesn‘t mean I don‘t want you to call when you need help getting home. There’s nothing more important than your safety, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but…” Y/N shook her head, overwhelming thoughts swirling endlessly inside rendering her speechless. There wasn’t anything she could say to efficiently express these concerns to him— Y/N had always been bad at communication and the last thing she wanted was to poke the bear even more.

“No go on, tell me.”

“I just… I don’t know. I felt like shit after last time.”

“I know,” he breathed out lowly, “I know you did, and I’m sorry. I didn‘t mean it.”

“But clearly you did if you felt the need to say it. I mean, it doesn’t just come out of nowhere, those accusations. You felt them. And I was thinking about it all day yesterday and… you were probably right, we are too unprofessional.”

“No, sweetheart. I enjoy our dinner sessions and I appreciate that you feel comfortable to talk to me when something bothers you—“ It didn’t matter, though. There was nothing he could say to change her mind.

The words that left her mouth were mostly involuntary. They were a protective barrier, a reason to say no, back off and a clear indication that she had no capacity for this. And although it hurt somewhere deep within her chest to express them, to become a viscous reminder of last night, especially when Harry’s eyebrows drew together in deep regret, it needed to be said.

“Harry, I meant it when I quit last night.”

A reasonable response was lost on Harry. For a moment he needed to think, to gather his thoughts— not that there were very many. He had to admit, he’d hoped they would gloss over her drunken text and pretend as though it hadn’t been. He’d hoped that Y/N felt a small spark of embarrassment when she thought about it, that she looked back on it with regret. Alas, she didn’t.

“Oh.”

He pulled back, shoulders tensing when the gravity of her statement had pulled him down along with it.

“Yeah. I mean, I love working with Jamie, I do, but I—“ I’m scared that I’ll form an attachment I will never recover from. I’m scared of the proximity we share, of how sometimes you let your fingers brush over my thigh. I’m scared because I don’t know what you mean, scared because psychoanalyzing doesn’t work on you. Or maybe— maybe I’m scared of love. With you. Or with anyone. Maybe I’m not capable of being loved. And maybe I’m not even capable of loving and maybe— just maybe, this will be the end of me. And for what? For you to say that the affection you extend to me is customary? That I have a tainted perception of reality, of love? Because I know I do. I know I do, and yet hearing it from you would hurt much more. And so maybe… maybe in this case, finding out isn’t worth the hassle. You’ll probably find I’m not either.

There was so much to say and such little capacity to say it. All Y/N could think to do was sputter words she didn’t mean and hope he understood because the alternative was ridding herself of every. little string of dignity she still possessed and she simply couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow herself to unfold in front of the only person who’s perception of her she wanted to nurture. No one had stayed. Even if he would come to leave, she wanted him to leave with a sound picture of her.

“But you…”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t… because of yesterday?”

“No. I mean, I guess that was a bit of an eye opener, but I—“ Y/N breathed in, “I think I’m getting too attached to you. You and Jamie.”

His eyes widened just a bit and he took a small step toward her. It was so small she hardly felt him entering her space. “I don’t mind that, Y/N, you don’t need to quit—“

“I do though,” she interrupted him, a stern undertone to her voice. She coughed and said again, “I mind.”

“I think you’re still angry about yesterday.”

She had to contain the urge to roll her eyes, “I’m not. This is separate from that.”

“So it’s the attachment that’s the problem?”

“Yes.”

Harry scoffed, “that’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with attachment.”

“It depends on what kind, doesn’t it?”

“Enlighten me then.”

Y/N’s mouth closed. She couldn’t do that.

So she deflected.

“Harry, my contract says that as long as I stay long enough to find a fitting replacement—“

“Fuck the contract, Y/N,” the volume of his voice almost caused Y/N to flinch into herself, “I know what my contract says. What I don’t know is why you’re giving up a job that you love, a job that pays you well, for reasons you can’t even explain to me.”

“Is my resignation not enough for you? Would hearing my reasoning really change anything if I will keep insisting on resigning no matter how often you’ll advise me against it? I doubt it matters. I doubt you would even so much as give a shit, Harry."

Y/N shook her head, tears building in the ducts of her eyes. Her father had been of great emotional abuse, her mother had spent half of her life drinking herself to liver failure and her brother had moved to Madrid as soon as he’d turned eighteen, leaving Y/N to fend for herself in a household that contained not one ounce of love— and yet this felt worse. This felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest, dropped on the floor beating and bleeding.

“You think I don’t give a shit? Really?” Y/N couldn’t help rolling her eyes, huffing when he tapped her on the wrist, muttering with a steady furrow in his brow, “don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“You know why I’m quitting and yet you want to hear it come out of my mouth. I’m not going to do it.”

“I don’t know.”

She almost laughed, “sure”

“Sweetheart—“

“Don’t call me that.” She gave him a sharp glance before heading back to her bedroom, arms falling to the sides of her timid frame. Harry stopped her just short of the door, a steady hand gripping around her wrist. She couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth, built up tears finally streaming down in heaps— embarrassment brewed in her stomach and she couldn’t bare to look him in the eye anymore. Harry’s touch elicited a spark on her skin, blistering with uncomfortable heat. “What?”

“You’re being rude. I really think you should consider this.”

“There’s nothing to consider, okay?! I… I feel too much for you, there’s too— there’s too much, okay? There’s too fucking mu—“

What would transpire between them next was a kiss. Initiated by Harry.

It was barely a kiss, more of a brushing of the lips— tentative movements, gentle breaths. It was the minimum and yet it was more than enough. There was an electric feeling that dragged through Y/N’s entire body as she closed her eyes and let herself feel. Harry didn’t seem very much like a gentle lover— generous, without doubt, but Y/N had always pictured him as a pin-to-the-wall, bite-to-the-lip type of man and she quickly received confirmation when he began squeezing her hand as if feeling restrained.

Y/N hadn’t kissed many people; less than five, probably, but she could say with certainty that this was already better than all of the other ones combined. She knew why. She knew the reason was that she genuinely liked Harry, that he made her feel things she’d never felt before.

But then again, Harry was her boss. He was off limits, taboo. And he was absolutely out of his mind right now.

“Wait.”

His breath fanned against her chin. “You don’t want me to?”

“No I do, I just—“ she shook her head, thoughts in a disarray like they’d never been before.

“Tell me to stop and I will.”

Her mouth opened but nothing came out, merely staggered breaths as she tried to regain the ability to think. The interruption came when Harry’s phone rang on the counter.

He groaned, took a glance at the screen and broke away when he saw his mother’s name flash as the caller ID.

“Yes?” He called into the speaker, frustration molding his features as he kept on listening. “Yes, okay, tell him I’m on my way. Give me twenty minutes… Love you too, bye.” When he turned to her, phone slipped into his back pocket, she could tell that he yearned to say more, that he yearned for her to say more. She knew he would halt his actions, leave time for her to get her words out before he left for whatever emergency he’d been called in for, that if she only said something he would consider putting her as a second priority after his son. She knew that he would make her feel important. But she said nothing. And nobody, not even the most patient person in the world could work with nothing. “Jamie’s asking for me. I need to go get him.”

She only nodded.

He sighed, running a tired hand down his face. “Alright. I need to go. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

She stood at exactly the same spot as Harry slammed the door shut, unwavering.

Her heart was still pounding as the words she should’ve expressed minutes ago died on her lips.

—

Résumés had been sent to him, interviews were lined up, and Y/N had received no reply back. She hadn’t received anything, really, just a text on Thursday that he would arrange for another babysitter to come in for Jamie while he left for his late meeting, to which Y/N had typed a dry ‘ok’ and left it to sit in her inbox.

The week had started fresh and Y/N had finally left home again (only to her classes, but still). After days of not working, she was scheduled to pick up Jamie at two thirty and hoped for these last weeks to resume seamlessly. She’d gotten the car from the house, locked the door back up again and made the ten minute drive down— everything was fine.

Until now. Until Y/N set foot on preschool grounds and noticed another woman hugging her arms around Jamie’s shoulders. She seemed unfamiliar at first— glasses tipped back on her long blonde hair, a pencil skirt concealing her toned legs. Y/N had no idea who she was dealing with until she took a closer look and recognized this woman to be Stacie. Y/N had seen a picture of Stacie up in Harry’s study— she seemed to have changed a little, but the structural features she associated with her still remained intact through all these years (big blue eyes, defined cheekbones).

As soon as Jamie’s eyes set on Y/N, though, Stacie’s hands were torn away from his shoulders as he ran for her. She got on her knees, his familiar smile melting away all of the cold spots she’d developed in over a week of not seeing him.

“I miss you!” Jamie pulled away to plant a kiss right on the top of the apple of Y/N’s cheek, something he only started doing recently. She guessed he’d only really learned how to. “Daddy said you pick me up today.”

“I missed you too, buddy. I see somebody else came to see you?”

“Oh, Stacie. She wants to take me home but daddy said you pick me up.”

“Yeah, okay. Do you want to wait a second while I talk to her?”

Jamie nodded, moving to stand next to her (small hand clutched in hers, of course) while Y/N greeted Stacie. Well, greet was a bit of an exaggeration; she didn’t get to before Stacie decided to introduce herself first.

“I’m his mom, I called Harry in the morning telling him I’d come for pick up. I have a packed schedule, so I’d appreciate it if you could let go of my child.”

Y/N almost laughed, the audacity of this woman a damn near mystery to her. “Wait. Don't talk about him like some sort of property. Harry never told me about anyone else coming to pick up Jamie.”

“He must’ve forgotten. He’s a busy man, I’m sure he would confirm—“

“Well then let’s call him, shall we?”

Stacie wanted to interject, she could tell, but Y/N had dialed way too fast for that to happen. The phone only had to ring once before Harry picked up, his voice coming in clear.

“Hey, you‘ve got Jamie?”

“I’m here at preschool but Stacie showed up before me and wants to take him home. You didn’t tell me, so I…” she trailed off, hoping he’d fill in the blanks.

It seemed to take a minute to click. “Stacie? His mother showed up at school?”

“Yes, was this arranged beforehand or…”

“No. No, don’t let her take him home. Shit, we talked about this last week, I don’t—“

“You… you talked about this last week?” The confusion dripped from Y/N’s voice and all she could hear was Harry’s attempt at concealing profanities. “What did you talk about last week?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just get home, tell her to call me to clear this up. I don’t want Jamie knowing Stacie is his mother yet, okay? So just get out of there before she tells him herself.”

A frown settled over Y/N’s features before she continued to end the call, scoop Jamie up into her arms and walk away after quick word. Stacie protested, but both her and Y/N knew she wouldn’t do much more than that in fear of causing a scene.

Y/N failed to pay attention to Jamie as she fastened the belt on his seat, only registering when she looked back into the rearview mirror and noticed the little pout starting to pull at his small lips.

And when he finally asked her, little quips of fear polishing his quiet tone: “is Stacie my mum?”, all Y/N could do was pretend she hadn’t heard and hope he would forget, knowing he wouldn’t.

—

Y/N bombarded Harry with questions the second he‘d unlocked that front door.

“Y/N—“

“No, I’m entitled to know this time. I’m entitled to know when she ambushes us at preschool. Don’t you want me to know what I’m dealing with if it happens again? That woman almost fucking kidnapped him—“

“Calm down, Y/N. Sit down and I’ll explain it to you.”

She huffed in annoyance, listening nonetheless. She set herself down on one of the kitchen stools and tried to take control of her breathing. She watched as he took a seat opposite her.

“Stacie came to visit last week on Wednesday. She’d called beforehand, asking if it would be okay. She came and we had dinner, we talked some things out while Jamie was in bed. She apologized, asked if we could start working things out again. I agreed under the condition that she would approach the idea of Jamie as a friend first. She said that she would respect my wishes and that she wouldn’t come near him unless I gave my permission. That’s it. So far all Jamie knows is that she’s a friend of mine. I didn’t—god,” Y/N felt bad when Harry buried his head in his hands, itching to reach out in comfort. She chose to play it safe, settling a gentle touch over his thigh. “I know I should’ve known but it seemed real when we spoke last, you know? I didn’t think she’d do this.”

Y/N hadn’t seen Harry this distraught over anything. “I’m sorry. That’s heavy.”

“It’s—“ he sighed, “it’s something I keep having to deal with. All she wants is to have him on the weekends, have him pose as her cute son. But she doesn’t actually care about him.”

Y/N couldn’t do much more than nod. She was caught between playing the comforting role and being honest. She wasn’t sure if this was the place, if her opinion would be welcomed or if it would contribute to Harry’s sorrows. “She seemed… uncooperative when I spoke to her at school. Like she was in a rush or something, it scared me.”

“Yeah, she’s hardheaded.”

“Right.” Y/N pulled her hand away when Harry lifted his head, clearing her throat and averting her eyes. The change in her behavior didn’t go unnoticed, though he knew he shouldn’t ask. “So when you talked… when you agreed to working things out, you meant that in a friendly manner? Or were you going to be… a couple again?”

“We… I don’t know. We kissed— well, she kissed me a few days ago when we met up again for a playdate with Jamie. Never discussed it any further.”

“Do you love her?”

Y/N had begun to hold her breath in, but she didn’t notice it.

Harry did. He noticed the suction of a deep breath and he noticed how his own hands got clammy with sweat.

Harry looked skeptical, as though there was something on his tongue ready to peek out tentatively, only it couldn’t because he had to spare her feelings. Because there was little Y/N, intimidated by everything she’d ever had to face in her lifetime— little Y/N who had rejected him and still expected loyalty. Little Y/N who couldn’t have him, but had always wanted to.

“I think a part of me will always love her. I mean, she gave me Jamie and he’s… the best thing to ever happen to me, really. I love him, and I will always love her for giving birth to him. I will always love her for the good parts of our relationship.”

Y/N hated herself for hating his answer. It was a perfectly reasonable answer, truthful as Y/N expected, yet her mind wandered past the barriers, past the barbed wire. She couldn’t fully grasp how he could still love her— and yet she understood perfectly. There was Jamie, of course, but there were many other things. There was her hair, her bright complexion, the beautiful curve of her hips and the effortless look of her makeup. There was the fashion, the business-casual look that seemed to mesh so well with Harry’s. There was this calling when Y/N pictured the two of them standing side by side, almost like they were destined to be together. She could imagine it perfectly, the many years they had spent together. She could see it. And it looked perfect.

Y/N coughed, head nodding along to his words as if she were listening to instructions and not some heartfelt confession. It seemed instinctual, though.

When it came time for her to speak, she let a smile mold her lips into a perfect crescent moon. She never thought faking a smile could hurt more than a physical injury, but she’d been proven wrong. Everything looked intact— Y/N was sure she almost seemed unaffected from the outside. She wasn’t, though, and she wondered if Harry would recognize that.

“That’s… yeah. I get that.”

This was the first time Y/N actually felt the age gap between her and Harry. He sat here, ready to air it out. He spoke about his concerns, about the state of his son, and the only thing she could fret about was herself. Her sadness had no weight, it was too insignificant in comparison to his and it made her feel pathetic. It made her feel young and stupid and pathetic.

Harry deserved better than this. He deserved careful consideration, security for his child. He deserved trust and honesty, a sort of transparency Y/N couldn’t afford to offer to him yet.

“That’s not to say that I want to approach her in that way, especially after today, but…” he trailed off, only finding his words when it’d clicked that she wasn’t responding, “I just want you to understand that it’s complicated.”

Y/N nodded. Then she cleared her throat, ready to rid herself of this spotlight. She always messed up in the spotlight. “Um, Jamie asked me if Stacie was his mum today. I didn’t answer, but you might want to think about what you’ll say to say to him next time. I also sent you a few résumés, I’ve talked to a few people and have set up interviews, the first one is scheduled for tomorrow—“ she visibly flinched when his hand came down on her thigh, “please, Harry. I can’t. Please just let me finish this.”

“Okay.”

A deep breath, “it’s scheduled for tomorrow after you come home from work. Do you want me to come on the call, or are you okay interviewing yourself?”

“I’d like you to come.”

“Okay. I’ll stay longer tomorrow.”

“Can we talk about us now? Properly?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Harry almost laughed, “there’s a lot to talk about. We just added on a good bit today.”

“I’m quitting. That’s it.”

“You know, I don’t understand why you insist that there’s nothing going on—“

“Because there isn’t,” she snapped. “There isn’t. I’m going to check up on Jamie.”

She was teary-eyed as she slipped from the stool, ready to conceal it all for the ball of sunshine sitting in the living room. She could do it all for Jamie— she would do it all.

Before he could say any more, Y/N disappeared behind the door. Harry could hear the two of them converse in the next room and his heart felt heavy as the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Harry had always known what to do— he was a CEO, for god’s sake. He was trained to find solutions, take control of seemingly unfixable problems, to make life easy. And yet, this girl thoroughly baffled him. He had no idea what the fuck to do anymore.

And yet, he was determined to keep trying.

—

Two people had interviewed over zoom and Harry had hated every one of them. His excuses were vague, something about the lack of experience (even though they both knew that Y/N hadn’t had any when she’d started either) and the supposed ‘wrong vibe’. One time he’d criticized a woman for her ‘ridiculously shrill voice’, at which point Y/N had rolled her eyes and proceeded to walk home in a fury.

The next day Y/N showed up again, ready to interview three more people. She sat beside Harry as he set up the video call and listened as he asked questions. Y/N was mostly in attendance to listen and give her honest feedback by the end (she really did want to find someone spectacular for Jamie), so the difficult part came later. For now she could be quiet.

This woman, aside from qualified, seemed very kind. So far, it’d been the best candidate.

“So how flexible is time for you?”

“Very. I do online classes for uni, so I can very well manage my time how I see fit.”

“That sounds fine. And you’ve had plenty of experience, I see.”

“Yes, I started babysitting when I was fourteen, so for more than ten years now. The last family I worked for just moved out of the country, which is why I’m looking for something new, but I was with them three years.”

This woman had nothing but good evidence she would be the best for the job; no doubt better than Y/N. She had the experience, she seemed mature, she looked kind— she would act in a professional manner, something Y/N had never quite figured out yet.

That didn’t matter to Harry, though, because as soon as she’d gotten off the call, he muttered a ‘no’.

“Why not?” Y/N asked, bewildered by his blunt response, “she was literally perfect for the job.”

Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug, busying himself with his laptop, “just didn’t feel right.”

“Okay, this is just getting too unreasonable at this point. You didn’t like the lack of experience, fine, that one woman’s shrill voice, fine— but this? She just didn’t feel right?”

“I don’t expect you to understand—“

“No. We’re not doing that.”

“It’s a feeling, Y/N. When I interviewed you, I got the feeling that it’s right, that I’d feel safe leaving Jamie with you. It takes trust.”

“But she’s— she’s so qualified, she—“

“Experience isn’t everything. It’s important, but not everything. You weren’t experienced when you came for your interview but you gave me the right feeling. Thus you were qualified for the job.”

And she understood, really, but it still fucking pissed her off. “That’s fucking— you’re being too picky.”

“For good reason.”

“At least two of the people we interviewed were qualified enough for a test run.”

“We still have about fifteen to go and there’s no rush.”

Y/N found this ridiculous. She muttered under her breath, pushing some hair back with a sweaty palm.

“Why is it that everything I do makes you angry?”

“Because you’re fucking infuriating.”

He breathed a chuckle, “that’s nice,” and closed his laptop. “Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me. I’ll make your favorite pasta.”

“I don’t—“ but Harry had already gotten to work, tuning her voice out without much trouble. He smiled at her, almost mocking.

“Do you have another job lined up?“

“Uh,” Y/N didn’t want to admit no, that she hadn’t even begun looking properly (save for that one café down the street from her apartment), knowing the consequences and aware of the tiring reprimanding from Harry ahead. A pitied glance. A pathetic speech. “I’ve applied.”

“Where?”

“A cafe.”

“Where?”

“You wouldn’t know it.”

“Are you hired?”

She huffed, “no.”

“Where else?”

“Um, a… another café. It’s in... near my apartment.”

“Would be bad if it wasn’t,” he quipped, paying her a shortened glance from over his cooking pot. “Do you need help?”

“No.”

“Financial help, maybe?”

Y/N groaned, “no.”

“Because I wouldn’t mind sending you some money—“

“Harry,” she cut him off in an instant, glaring daggers at him, “I’ll just send it back. I’ve saved up enough to get by for a few weeks.“

“That doesn’t exactly ease my—“

“Can we just— can we not?”

And they didn’t. Harry closed his mouth— forced it closed, actually— having to clench his jaw to stop himself from voicing unwanted thoughts. Y/N looked away, pretending this conversation hadn’t happened at all. It was easier that way, to pretend he hadn’t conveyed such an open and honest display of care, to pretend that it hadn’t ripped her heart to shreds.

There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't. It was the first time in a while that Y/N stayed (somewhat voluntarily) after her shift, and he couldn't risk pushing her away further.

For now, he had to be okay with this.

—

Y/N couldn‘t keep her eyes off of Harry, images of last night flashing in between conflicting thoughts.

She was in bed. She was clutching her blanket, a wet spot and the outline of her body marked by sweat on the sheets. He‘d looked so real fucking her, he‘d sounded so genuine whispering into her ear as he thrust up into her cunt.

He‘d called her a good girl, and she‘d run with it, afraid to look back.

But it hadn‘t been real, had it?

It‘d been a dream. But god, was it a good one.

Would he do it all the same? Would be hold her close, spreading his fingers over the expanse of her breast as he kissed her neck? Would he glide them up, and wrap them around her throat? Would he— fuck. No. She couldn’t.

But he would. And they‘d look so pretty resting there. And she‘d feel so pretty as he overwhelmed her with his presence, his chest pressing against hers. He‘d look so right as he danced along the fine line of praise and degradation— the line of rough and sweet, cold and warm. Because he would know. He would know exactly what she would need.

Wouldn‘t he?

He would. As she watched him move through the space of his living room, she knew he would. She‘d always known, really.

And Jamie wasn’t here anymore, he’d fled up the stairs. And Y/N really, really shouldn’t be here with him alone.

She was biting on her nails, eyes cast downwards in avoidance as Harry read his book on the other end of the couch. He had an arm stretched along the back of the couch and her legs were tucked to her chest as she scrolled on her phone, trying her hardest not to let her gaze run wild. It proved especially difficult when his arm fell mere inches from her legs. And when he touched her, warm thumb rubbing comforting circles into the cold of her skin, she couldn’t help biting her lip.

“You okay?”

“Hm? Yes. Why?”

A smile stretched his mouth wide, “just seem distracted, is all. Squirmy.”

“What? No, I’m fine.”

God, she was feeling small under his gaze.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” she mumbled. Harry saw her eyes, though, tired dark circles resting where they don’t belong. He saw how they widened, how desperate they seemed for something she didn’t want to disclose to him and he wanted so badly to satisfy that need for her. “I should go home.”

His grip tightened ever so slightly. “Would you like me to drive you?”

“Um, no. It’s okay. Thank you.”

But she failed to move.

Y/N had shut him out for so long that the effect he’d always had on her multiplied by ten. It was much much worse and the finger on her leg burned through her skin with ease.

“Sweetheart?”

“Hm?”

“Come here,” he demanded softly, watching as a war unfolded on her face. He could read her like a book, sensing the exact moment her heart won and her head gave up. He pulled her to him, fingers dancing up and down her shoulder. “You seem tired.”

Y/N cleared her throat, tips of fingers holding onto the edge of safety and threatening to let her cascade into the depths of danger. “I had three classes in the morning and I’ve been writing this paper, so—“ she allowed him control as he made her face the other way, legs outstretched, her back just inches from his chest and his hands massaging her tense shoulders. Her eyes closed in pleasure at the sensation. “And last night, I—“

“Last night you what?”

“I had… I had this dream and—“

She didn’t want to finish and he didn’t need her to.

“Is this okay?”

His voice felt soft and comfortable against her neck. “Yes, thank you. You’re good at that.”

He hummed.

“I really should go home though,” she mumbled, getting quieter with each word. She knew she wouldn’t dare push him away now, but she supposed it was more about convincing herself that she’d tried. “Cause I have classes early in the morning.”

“It’s only seven.”

“Yeah.”

Harry snickered quietly, her awful try at resistance not surprising him in the least. He had never seen her quite like this though, weak and smitten in his arms, on the verge of purring like a cat. He definitely couldn’t complain when she inched closer and dropped her head so it could rest comfortably on his shoulder.

“Can you do my arms?”

“Of course, baby.”

She could’ve melted. In fact, she probably had without noticing.

And when she felt his lips pressing to her skin… well, then it was game over.

“Is this okay?”

She nodded promptly, heart racing.

Y/N was tired of rejecting this feeling, tired of pretending as though she didn’t want Harry’s affection. Because truly, it was all she wanted, all she’d longed for.

A love like his would feel so great.

“You look really beautiful, you know that?”

“Thank you,” she squeaked, sensing Harry’s chuckle rolling against her back at the response.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Me neither.”

“You’re the one who keeps running.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

Y/N took her time answering, grateful when Harry didn’t rush her. He would sit here waiting for an hour if he needed to, she was confident in that. There was no hurry, just soft hands on scalps and warm kisses on necks— Y/N hadn’t experienced such an overwhelming feeling of comfort in the arms of a man.

“I’m scared to stay.”

He sounded unfazed, giving her a surge of confidence when he asked, “why?”

“Because we’re such different people. You’re a dad, a very accomplished ceo. I’m a student, so much younger—“

“Don’t make me out to be so old, love.”

Her eyes rolled. “A little younger than you. And last week when I saw Stacie, I don’t know… it did something with my brain, I guess. You seemed so right together, you know? I didn’t want you to wake up one day and regret anything, don’t think I could bear that.”

“Look at me,” he muttered, tilting her head so that he could pin her down with a stern stare, “I couldn’t regret you, sweetheart. I regret much in life, but I wouldn’t regret you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Eh, I’m a pretty good judge of character.”

“Harry,” she warned, “I’m not the most lovable person once you get to know me.”

“I doubt that,” he retorted.

“Past experiences have proven as much.”

He gave gentle strokes to her cheek, a glaze he didn‘t expect overcoming her eyes, pulling him in, “so let me show you.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, his nose mere inches away from hers. “Show me what?”

“How easy it is to love you.”

Time stood still, but it couldn’t not have with a statement of that kind. It seemed so easy for him to brush off concerns as something undeserving of thought, to create an allusion of simplicity where it didn‘t belong. Those words meant everything to her.

“You must know how wonderful that sounds coming from your mouth.”

Harry breathed a chuckle, nose nudging against hers softly. When he asked for permission, Y/N couldn’t deny him of another kiss.

And if it could’ve gotten any better than their first kiss, then it definitely had. There was a newfound sense of freedom and security with this kiss, unspoken thoughts reduced to small details rather than what had been when they’d spent time together last.

When they parted, nothing needed to be said. They already knew it all.

—

A month later.

“Y/N, will you hand me another bowl for the soup, please?”

As Y/N fulfilled Harry’s plea, she couldn’t help but let her giddiness dictate her movements. Things were fresh, things were good— but they were also scary. He was scary. Anxious butterflies spread in her lower tummy at the mention of his name and infested it with the low sound of his voice.

She waited by his side as he tidied up, ready to be of assistance. It was pathetic, really, how awfully smitten she’d become for him.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

She hummed in reply, scared that if she were to speak all that would come out was a squeak. Harry chuckled, smirk molding into his cheekbones as he grasped Y/N by the waist and pushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. His hand slid lower, giving her a squeeze.

“Are you nervous?”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be great, I promise. And whatever he says, we’ll work it out.”

“Okay,” a surge of confidence rode her to sunny dry shores, shoulders sacking in comfort, “yeah, okay. I trust you.”

“You ready then?”

“Yes.”

Things proceeded as they always had; Y/N and Jamie shared funny anecdotes of their day as Harry mostly listened, admiring the two of them with love filling his eyes. It wasn’t until desert had come that the setting changed, unbeknownst to Jamie, and Harry took the lead.

“Jamie, we want to talk to you about something.”

Jamie stared between the two of them, waiting.

“Do you remember when you came home from school and told me about Katie and Josh? That they’re boyfriend girlfriend?”

“Yes, they still are.”

Harry chuckled, “and do you remember what I said when you asked if I had a girlfriend?”

“You said that you don’t.”

“I did. And while that may have been true for that moment, things have changed.”

Her heart melted and sank all the same when his little green eyes lit up, “do you have a girlfriend now?”

“I do,” Harry laughed, “you know her.”

“Who?”

Harry smirked, motioning to Y/N with a nod of his head to draw Jamie’s attention away. Jamie’s gaze landed on Y/N and in the matter of a second it filled with excitement. His mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Are you okay with that?” She asked, timid at first but becoming more confident when a genuine smile imprinted small dimples in his cheeks, a feature he’d been lucky enough to receive from his father.

He nodded, full of movement, and hummed in confirmation.

When Y/N and Harry had put Jamie into bed later that night, and had vacated to the kitchen to enjoy a glass of wine together, things finally fell into place. The thought of happiness within a relationship was no longer a distant one— no, it had become a reality. Harry had kept up with his promise, he had shown her easy, he’d shown her effortless, and while there was no doubt in her mind that hard times were still to come, she was confident that no matter the circumstance, her gratitude for his open portrayal of love could never be put into question.

“I love you,” she shared, eyes glassy, head tilted. “You don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know. I think I’ve loved you for quite some time, I just didn’t want to realize it.”

The silence was short lived.

He placed his glass back down on the table and smiled, though to her it almost looked awkward. “Wow.”

“I know, you don’t have to… cause I know it’s a big deal, so you don’t have to say anything.”

“I do too,” he then offered, hand traveling to rest on her knee. “I love you.”

“Really?”

“I do.”

This stumped her.

And now it was her turn: “wow.”

Harry’s laughter spread everywhere on Y/N’s skin, engraving itself into her soul and staying there to be kept and remembered forever.

“Good. Now that that’s cleared…”

She couldn’t deny him of a passionate make-out session, hands on thighs and lips everywhere they fit, everywhere they felt right. A moan slipped from her mouth, his smirk molded into her hot skin.

“Move in with me,” he muttered, dirty against her mouth, “we’re finding a new nanny for Jamie and you don’t have a new job planned yet. Just focus on university, move in with me, with us. Let me take care of you.“

“Harry—“ his mouth collided against her neck, her eyes closed shut, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“We’ve only been together—“

“Doesn’t matter, I’ve fought for a long time to have you. I believe in us, I trust this.”

“I…“ Y/N felt torn— on one hand, she really wanted to move in with him. On the other, was that really wise? To move in with a man after a month of dating him? Albeit this was Harry, and she trusted him too. Fully. It was herself she didn’t trust. “Are you sure?”

And when she looked into his eyes, there was no not one ounce of doubt in them. They welcomed her.

“Jamie would love it just as much as me.”

“Would he?”

“Are you kidding me? He loves you so much.”

“I love him too,” she played with a strand of his hair.

“Then move in with us.”

A smile began to pull at her lips. “But I pay for groceries.”

“No,” he mumbled, “you’re too broke for me to let you do that.”

“Harry!”

“It’s true!” He laughed, massaging her thigh. “Baby, I don’t expect you to pay for anything living here. I’m more than capable—“

“I know you’re capable, but I just… I was taught not to burden other people.”

“You’re not burdening me,” he insisted, finger sliding under her chin, “it’s okay to let other people do things for you. It’s okay for others to show their love.”

“I know that.”

“So please don’t worry about it. Focus on your studies and make me proud in that way.”

“I need to make money somehow.”

“No you don’t. I’ll support you.”

“No,” she breathed right away, “I won’t depend on you for money. You’re not my… my sugar daddy.”

“Why not?” He grinned, “you call me daddy either way—“

Y/N’s eyes rolled, “shut up.”

“Told you not to roll your eyes at me.”

“Sorry.”

Harry hummed, “try it for a month. If you want to move in after, you can. If you don’t, I’ll help you find a new place. Or I’ll pay your rent while you’re here so you don’t lose out on money.”

Comfortable silence dictated the next few seconds as Y/N thought about her boyfriend’s offer, and then: “fine. We’ll try it for a month.”

Harry’s smile widened, “yeah?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t regret it."

He'd been right.

The end! Would love to hear your feedback :) but also like… don’t be too harsh cause I can’t handle it

tags:

@tpwk-mia @gem1712 @behindmygreyeyes, @sinarainbows @infixinfinity @adkmermaid2399 @daphnesutton @imaginexxharry @bry211 @haliastyles @watarmelon212 @impossibleme @cali-888 @dreamybabbyy @evie-119 @cumuluscranium @c-a-b3002 @buckybarnessimpp @freckles-things @harryedwardstylesluva24 @ihavesimpedovermanyfictionalmen @angelbunny222 @ivegotthecinema @harryscowgirl

I hope I didn’t forget anyone!

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x you #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #harry styles materlist #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles x nanny #harry styles ceo #harry styles fanfic rec

285 notes · View notes

crdteezv · 3 months

Text

Untitled - Han

Paring: !childhood friends to lovers! , perv!han jisung x afab! reader

Genre: idol! Au, smut

Synopsis: You finally reunited with your childhood best friend after 10 years! But, you didn’t notice how much he changed since you last saw each other…

Warnings: smut, rough sex, dub/non-con, somno, dirty talk, teasing, kissing, fingering, groping, use of sex toys, voyeurism, manhandling, overstimulation, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2.5k words

A/n: This was requested by someone a long time ago and I decided to post it now. This does contain CNC (aka consensual non consent) & if that’s something you’re not comfortable with please DON’T READ THIS!!!

One late night, you and Jisung were in a convenience store. He was up late in the studio working on a song with Chan. On his way home, he thought he should stop by and grab some food. You so happened to be there wanting the same thing. The aisles were really small and you had barely any room to walk around. You accidentally bump into him and he looks at you with a confused look.

Then it hit him.

You both used to be childhood friends and practically grew up with each other. You were also neighbors at one point and used to hang out all the time. Sadly at the beginning of high school, you had to move away. You both lost contact with each other and haven’t spoken since then.

“Hey, do you remember me? Han Jisung? We used to be neighbors and would hang out all the time.”

In that moment all the memories you shared with him came back. You were shocked, to say the least. Who would’ve thought you would reunite with Jisung in a convenience store of all places?

“OH MY GOD YES! I do remember you, Jising how have you been?”

He was so relieved that you remembered him. It's been over 10 years since you last saw each other. Even after all this time, he can still recall your beautiful smile.

“I’ve been good and I took your advice and focused on music! I am now a part of an Idol group. Thank you for always motivating me to become an Idol.”

“Aww of course! I still can’t believe you remember me telling you to go for it. That was such a long time ago. I was just a kid and would just be saying whatever really.”

"Well, how could I forget someone like you? You were my best friend - I was too shy to talk to anyone else."

Both of you shared a laugh. Jisung usually stuck to his close friends and found it difficult to make new ones. As he mentioned, you were his only true best friend.

“Well, I knew you would love pursuing a music career! I recently moved back here for school!”

♡♡♡♡

From that point on you and Jisung talked the whole night, he even walked you home. You exchanged numbers and would hang out when you both could. One thing led to another and he asked you officially on a date. You both knew you had feelings for each other.

You and Jisung got into a relationship not too long ago after that. It’s only been about 5 months and still very fresh and new. Sadly, after dating for 2 months, he had to go on a tour with all the members. So the majority of your relationship was long-distance. You still were learning so much about each other at this point.

However, people can change in the span of 10 years. Although Jisung was still the same kind-hearted and witty guy, you knew something was different about him.

Jisung became such a pervert for you and you didn’t even know it.

It only took you guys reconnecting recently to realize how obsessed he was with you. Before you started dating, he would sometimes come over to your apartment late as a surprise. Given how often he was at your place, you had given him a spare key.

One night he left the studio early and went straight to your place because he missed your company. He entered your apartment and kept calling out your name. He was confused when he didn’t hear you give a response back. He saw that your bedroom was opened a little bit and you were moaning out loud. He was taken aback by what he was seeing right now. He always would think of you in a sexual light but this was too much for him.

Your legs were spread open as you used your dildo. You let your imagination go wild and imagine Jisung was the one pounding into you. You were so horny you even moaned out his name.

He felt so hard after seeing all the things you were doing to yourself. He also felt really bad because he knew he was not even supposed to be here right now. He just wanted to watch a movie with you like he always does before he goes home. Jisung always loved watching movies with you, especially the cheesy romance movies. You would both make fun of the actors and how bad their acting was.

Instead, he was outside of your room stroking his cock to your moans.

He was imagining that he was making you feel this good. He tried to not make a noise so you didn’t suspect anything. It wouldn’t even matter anyway because you were too busy in your own world fucking yourself to the thought of him. He eventually came at the same time that you did.

Jisung realized how perverted he was jerking himself outside of your room without you even knowing. He quickly cleaned up himself and left your place before you noticed. He never told you about that night.

There are a lot of things he doesn’t tell you.

Sometimes you would send him some scandalous photos of yourself to see if you look good. You would ask him so you can get a guy's perspective on it.

However, he would secretly save them on his phone and beat off to them later. He always tells himself he will delete them and will never do it again. Yet, every time he is horny, he keeps on going back to those photos in his folder of you and gains so much gratification from it.

He was so obsessed with you that every little thing you did would turn him on. The way you put him in a trance from just your moans alone was insane. All he can think about is the first time he caught you getting off to him.

Now ever since you have been dating, you guys see each other less since he recently went on tour. All these nights you guys would spend without each other was so hard for him. It was so bad to the point that he would sometimes hide in the hotel bathroom and jerk off to your pics and videos he still had saved of you.

This was so embarrassing for him and he already felt like shit doing all this behind your back. But, he was too far gone give a fuck about it now. He always thinks about how disgusted you’d probably feel if you ever found out about his secret collection of you.

He just misses being with you in person instead of calling on FaceTime. It was getting frustrating for him and all he wanted to do is fuck you.

However, tonight was his last straw and he couldn’t take it anymore. He has been back from touring for about a week now. He took some time to recover before seeing you. He knows the moment he sees you it's going to be over for him.

Unfortunately, he had to be in the studio tonight with Chan and Changbin making some new music. It really sucked because today you and him were supposed to hang out after he was done working. But at the last minute, Chan told him he needed his help on this song he was thinking of making. The whole time Han was thinking about your moans from all the times he would touch himself to you.

He kept on getting distracted and barely gave any help to Chan and Changbin.

“Hey Jisung, are you okay? You’re normally not this quiet.” Chan said.

Jisung knew that he wasn’t ok.

All he wanted to do was go to your apartment and fuck the shit out of you. He has been pent up for too long now. You and him only had sex a handful of times and you have been without each other for 3 months.

“Yeah, I'm just a little distracted right now. Sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be much help tonight.”

“Hey, it’s ok! I know how tired you may feel after the tour so you can go home tonight. Have a good night!”

Jisung nodded his head and quickly left the studio. There was only one thing on his mind right now.

You.

He went straight to your place and opened the door with his key. He noticed you were asleep, lying on your side. Under the covers, you had your vibrator in your hands, and you were passed out on the bed.

That alone made him so hard. The thought of you using it and moaning out his name is driving him crazy.

He started taking off his clothes leaving himself in just his boxers. He gets into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you. You were barely awake but you leaned back against him not even realizing he was there with you.

He started grinding against you and became hard for you. He couldn’t hold back and started grunting out loud. At this point, you started to wake up. You felt afraid as the room was dark, making it hard for you to realize that it was Jisung. In your drowsy state, you half-awake, you thought he was an intruder.

You start to panic.

“Hey, who is there? Get the fuck off of me-”

You started hearing a buzzing sound.

It was your vibrator and he started to push it against your clit to try and make you stop talking.

“Shh sweetie it’s me. I am sorry you just got me soo fucking hard and I can’t take it anymore.”

You were in a state of shock and disbelief. You have never seen Jisung like this before.

“Mhmm I know you’re but I already came and I am too tired to do it again. Can’t we just do it in the morning?”

If only it was that simple.

Jisung's patience was running thin and he decided to not hold back anymore.

He covered your mouth and whispered in your ear and said

“I’m sorry baby, but tonight I am going to take what I want. And right now I need you to just let me fuck you.”

At this point, you were squirming around and yelling at him to stop it. You really weren’t in the mood for all this. He kept getting agitated and started putting his hand around your neck and began choking you. As he did that he started marking you and biting your neck and shoulders. With his other hand, he started to pump into his cock and get off to your cries and whimpers.

“You're squirming so much for me baby and I think it's so cute. The more you struggle, the harder you’re gonna get me"

You couldn’t believe what Jisung was saying to you right now. Your perception of him completely changed now. You thought he was sweet-hearted and nice and not such a creep and pervert.

He couldn’t take it anymore and started lowering his boxers and took out his cock.

You can already feel the precum that was escaping him and how needy he was for you. He started slowly pushing it in you. You gasped out so loud even though he was covering your mouth.

You forgot how big he was.

He also put his hands under your shirt and held onto them as he started pounding up into you. He also had the vibrator on your clit too. He started leaving hickeys all over your neck. He didn’t care what he was doing at this point he was marking where he felt like it.

You were still whining and crying from how hard he is fucking you and the vibrator on your clit wasn’t making it any better.

“Stop making so much noise sweetie, I already feel bad as is.”

You started crying at this point because all you want for him is to stop but he just keeps on going. He says such sinful stuff in your ear that you don’t even know how to feel at this point.

He started laughing at you crying from his dick,

“Aww baby, are you crying from how hard I’m fucking you? You’re so pathetic can’t even take a couple of hard strokes.”

You didn’t know why but for some reason when he said that you started to tighten up around him. That alone made you feel wetter.

He noticed it.

“Mhmm look at you becoming such a good girl for me. I knew deep down you secretly wanted this.”

You kept shaking your head, displaying that you were against this.

That just made him more hard and started fuck you harder and harder. You started to become so dizzy from all this stimulation.

Jisung was at his breaking point.

All this overstimulation started to become overwhelming for you. You wondered why he wasn't pulling out, as he usually does when you both are close. However, this time, he continues without stopping, still thrusting into you.

“ I am sorry but tonight, I have to finish inside you. I have been waiting for 3 fucking months. So how about you be good to me and take what I give you ok darling?”

At this point, you couldn’t take it anymore.

He took his hand off your mouth as you both came at the same time. You didn’t give a fuck at this point you were practically screaming out his name as he pumps his load into you. Both your moans were so loud you wouldn’t be shocked if your neighbors heard you.

Jisung fell back beside you and pulled you into him. He put you on his chest and wrapped his arms around you. He started kissing you all over and said

“Sweetie, I’m sorry for the way I acted out tonight. I just missed being with you these past 3 months. Especially being inside of you. Fuck I missed that soo much and having you moan out my name.”

You nuzzled into his chest and said “Yeah it's okay and I missed you so much too. Next time just tell me whenever you're in the mood. Tonight you really scared me. I hope you don’t act like this again.”

“Fine, I’ll never act out like that ever again and I am truly sorry if I hurt you.”

However, you both knew that wasn’t true and he would always come to take what he wants…

349 notes · View notes

m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

Text

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.1

I thank my lucky stars every night that Yoko eventually got sick of playing secret-keeper.

Paul: I didn't leave the Beatles. The Beatles have left the Beatles . . . John said he wanted a divorce. Alright, so do I. See how they say “Beatles” and they mean each other sometimes?

Derek Taylor on John's position on the break-up: if Paul were to approach him and say “let's do it together again” he probably would; with no more words, he would probably do it. Which is an insane claim to make to a world full of people grieving the greatest band to ever exist unless you are very very sure of that probability. But if it's true that that's all it would have taken, and Paul didn't do it? That hurts my head a little. Do we think he was just hurt too bad to want it back? Do we think he didn't know he had that kind of power? Do we think he was glad to be free of the group?

Ugh my heart can't take it. I'd cry too, John, watching that. I mean look at how they are looking at each other. Look at everything they've lost in a year. I'd bawl like a baby too.

Paul sends John a long, thorough letter, begging for them to legally end their partnership outside of a court. John's run out of cards at this point, but he still doesn't want to lose Paul, so he's just going to play dumb.

This is how bad he doesn't want to lose him, actually: he goes along with Klein in tricking Paul this time. Calls him up and asks him to come to the studio for a jam session, because it'll hurt his case in court. But for multiple reasons – the Eastmans were knowledgeable lawyers, and Paul might not have even wanted to be in a room with John at the time anyway – Paul doesn't come. Which John would've been hurt and angry over, no matter his motives.

"They tell you to stop crying at about age twelve. Be a man. What the hell's that?" I'm so proud of John for his (albeit long and backsliding) journey out of his toxic masculinity and violence. Something I honestly don't see him achieving without Yoko.

And from that quote it transitions to Paul in Scotland, looking like the embodiment of depression, as the opening of “Isolation” plays. It's perfect.

“And don't try to come over here. Or you might get in some trouble.” The way he just froze when he saw them filming him and then the next thing we see is him threatening them? Get ‘em, babe!

John sounds so giddy about this one-upping competition with Paul. I'll scare him and then he'll scare me!

The whole Lennon Remembers era is such a terrible case of diarrhea of the mouth in general, but the amount of homophobic language is quite striking compared to how John talked before and after.

John, talking about George in Rolling Stone: "he was working with two fucking brilliant songwriters and he learned a lot from us." People read that quote and just parrot it like they do with everything John said in this period and act like George had nothing to be angry over. He had every right to be much angrier and hold a much bigger grudge than he did.

And about George's new record, which was phenomenal and brilliant, John is transparently jealous and so cruel. If he'd said that about me and then asked me to play on his new record I'd tell him to go to hell. Why did George do it?

See and everyone who knows John knows how much he loved Brian and to hear him speaking so crassly and cruelly about Brian must've been a sure indication to them to just take the entire interview through that lense of “oh he's just saying shit”. But that's only the people who knew him. Everyone else for the rest of time took this shit as constitutional. And it pisses me off. It should be locked away in a vault somewhere and no one is allowed to listen to it until they've passed some kind of Beatles and emotional intelligence tests.

This crushes my soul. How warped must his definition of love have been by that point that he genuinely believed Phil Spector and Allen Klein loved him more than Paul and George did? It's bonkers.

John in 1967: all you need is love! John in 1971: the point of life is to manipulate people. . . . What the hell happened to you, buddy?

I go back and forth as to who's the smarter PR person: John or Yoko? Because maybe she's right. Maybe they shouldn't divulge that they're master manipulators. But is this one of those times when it's good to be all “look how honest we are about this! We're not hiding anything! We're saying bad things about ourselves too! So you should believe us about everything else!”

Really this documentarian should be hired to make all the music videos for all the Beatles and solo songs. This one for “Too Many People” is perfect. Paul walking into court with a full beard and a confident stride, John and Yoko in bed, Paul horse riding overlayed on Linda's gorgeous face like she's some goddess, designing his fate. All of it is just pure brilliance.

I'm forever laughing at just the title of the song, too. Because to John and Yoko it was so important that they were Weird and Off-putting. Different. Revolutionary. And to say “no. You're not special. There's actually an excess of people like you.” Is so funny to me.

“When she wants an A side, that's when we start fighting.” Oh gosh. Remember how I said he backslides a lot in his feminism journey? Yeah…

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Yeah, I know he meant to say it's weird to be best friends with a woman. But it sounds like he's saying it's weird to fuck a woman. Which maybe he subconsciously means both idk.

Paul: we need to legally dissolve the partnership because it's the only way we're attached anymore. Ouch. Okay it's true. It's deserved. But that must've stung for the guy who was terrified of losing people. Must've sent him into fight or flight.

I think the point of this framing is to say that if they'd had facetime back then, instead of just crackly phone lines, HDYS would not have been written. Not with those puppy eyes staring him down like that.

Interviewer: the song wasn't even funny though. John: well I think it's hilarious. Interviewer: hmm. Lol I love hearing interviewers talk to John about his lyrics like he's a real guy doing a real job, though. Imagine a music critic now saying John Lennon wasn't clever in his lyrics. You can't, yeah. Me either.

What a slap in the face to Cynthia. Guess she wasn't Cool Girl enough. Should've gone girled him. That would be an excellent fic. Cyn and Jane gone girl their idiot bfs and John and Paul realize they're in love on death row. But anyway, yeah. If Paul would've just pet John's head . . .

Another absolutely bonkers thing to say. That's something the Rockstar’s ex wife says in a documentary ten years after he's dead, not something a songwriting partner says, completely unprompted, in an exiting the band interview.

And then he goes off on what I see as a self-soothing diatribe on Paul the family man. You can see the hoops he jumped through to get himself there. What did Paul want that I couldn't give him? A family. And is that justified? Absolutely not, only pussies and conservatives want families.

Allan Klein: were you and Paul ever really close, then? John: no. John: not that I didn't love him. I did. It's just that every time I let my guard down, he hurt me. Holy shit. At this point, after getting hit in the face with so much of John's Paul-made pain with nothing from the other side but pictures of the happy McCartney family, I'm genuinely feeling quite angry at Paul. Me. An extremely biased Paul girl who knows it's far more complicated and multi-dimensional than this. No wonder the uninformed public fucking hated his guts.

And as they're showing this quote, “I didn't want to hurt you,” plays mournfully in the background. They really are so twisted up in each other there's no separating individual identities.

Okay so he's a psychopath. So what? He's the sexiest man that ever was or ever will be. He's allowed to be a horrible person. No, but really. He's Get Back Paul but healthier. He's done with his depression drinking and he's been spending a lot of time proving he's still useful enough to exist by building fences and shearing sheep.

And this is how Paul talks about George to interviews. John said Klein made ATMP a success but Paul disagrees. "George recorded it all, wrote it all, did it all, wasn't anything to do with [Klein]. It was George's victory, wasn't it?" Compare that to how John does it and tell me again why the hell George is Team John?

What is Paul's obsession with daddies? Actually I know exactly what the obsession with daddies comes from, but we won't get into that here. I do find it interesting that in ‘69 he's saying “we do need a sort of central daddy figure.” And in ‘71 he's deriding John needing one and won't let John's daddy of choice touch him with a hundred foot pole.

I tend to think Paul chafes against authority in general, but that's actually not right. He never had a problem with George Martin. I think it's just abusive authority or authority he doesn't trust yet.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

127 notes · View notes

fortheloveofwonderland · 11 months

Note

🎵 Hiya can i request Spencer and x reader with the Lyrics

I’ve found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new, and the reason is you - The Reason by Hoobastank

🎵

This yet again turned out way angstier than planned and I’m sorry for that. Hopeful ending though! Basically - what if Spencer didn’t get sober when he did?

The Reason

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary - Spencer’s drug addiction cost him everything: his job, his friends and the love of his life. When he finally decides to get clean, can he convince you that you were the reason for his newfound sobriety?

CW - drug use, mentions of weight loss, slightly aggressive behaviour, swearing, rehab, twelve step program, hopeful ending.

WC - 2.9k

The hardest part of anything of a self destructive nature was how close knit you became with it. Addiction was now interwoven in the fabric of the Spencer Reid canvas, as much as any other facet of his life.

Leaving it behind, as he’d tried and failed to do many times, felt like severing a limb. Giving up his vice would be like killing the very part of himself that taught him how to survive.

Addiction was an inherently selfish disease. Somewhere along the line Spencer had stopped caring about anyone or anything that didn’t directly pertain to getting high.

What had started as him using when the torment got too much had ended up in him using simply to feel ok. As time passed he needed more and more of the drug to reach the high he craved. And in turn that made it harder for him to even consider the idea of quitting.

By this point his mind was clouded only by thoughts of drugs. It took a hold of him, wrapping its tentacles around him and dragging him down into an abyss of his own creation.

His addiction had taken everything from him piece by piece; little by little. It had gotten in the way of his job, his work obligations becoming less important to him than getting high.

And so he’d been fired from the BAU.

It had taken his health, his energy and motivation. He’d lost more weight than he had to lose, or so he’d been told. But it also took away his ability to see the world clearly and so he didn’t notice the skeletal form staring back at him in the mirror.

One by one it had destroyed his friendships. Some had held out longer than others, JJ and Garcia in particular trying to cloy Spencer back to reality far longer than anyone else.

But his drug use made him angry, almost aggressive. And eventually even his two best friends had given up on him. But honestly, Spencer didn’t even have the impetus to care.

Through it all, you remained stalwart. You were determined to stay by his side and help him every step of the way.

But once it became clear that Spencer didn’t want your help, there really wasn’t much you could do but walk away too.

Your two year relationship came to a sudden and horrible end one night when you’d tried to help him detox. He’d been drug free for twelve hours and thankfully he’d slept through most of that.

But when he woke up was when it all went so horrifically wrong and after that night you knew Spencer was no longer the man you’d fallen in love with.

He screamed and yelled and fought for you to let him out of the apartment, to let him buy more drugs.

One more hit, that’s what he kept saying. One more hit and then I promise no more.

With tears streaming down his face and trembling hands, looking more scared and lost than anyone you’d ever seen, it would have been easy to give him the world on a silver platter.

But you remained strong, blocking the doorway with your body and refusing to let him out. You tried to reason with him that he didn’t need them, that everything was going to be ok without them.

But Spencer was long past listening to reason.

The final nail in the coffin that had been your relationship was when he forcibly grabbed you by the shoulders and peeled you away from the door with more strength than you knew he possessed.

He threw you aside like you were a discarded gum wrapper and you fell to the floor in a heap. And maybe if that had just been the end of it, you might have been able to salvage things.

But it wasn’t the end.

You were quick to jump back to your feet, grabbing his wrist as he went to open the door. You spun him to face you and as if in a blink of an eye his tears had dried and the eyes looking back at you weren’t the same ones you’d known for the last two years.

His eyes were so dark they were black, pupils bleeding into the gold of his irises and swallowing them whole. Looking back at you was a man you didn’t recognise.

That was only further confirmed when he took you by the shoulders again and slammed you against the wall, causing a small whimper of pain to leave your lips as your back collided with the hard surface.

His grip on your shoulders was like a vice, his blunt fingernails digging into your flesh even through your shirt. He looked manic, evil; and that terrified you.

“I swear to god Y/N if you try to stop me leaving the goddamn apartment…” he spat, trailing off at the end of his sentence.

“You’ll what?” You bit back, despite the fear coursing through your body.

“You don’t want me to answer that. Do not make me choose between drugs and you, because I can promise you, you will not like the outcome.”

His grip on you tightened and you whimpered again, sure he would leave bruises.

“S-Spencer, you’re hurting me.” Your voice was trembling.

“No I’m not, don’t be so pathetic.” He snarled at you.

“You’re scaring me.”

“This is nothing compared to how scary I will be if you don’t let me out of this fucking apartment.”

You knew then that it was over. For the first time in two years you didn’t see the love he held for you pooling from his eyes. You didn’t know this man. You certainly didn’t love him.

And as much as you wanted to help him you knew you couldn’t. He was passed help. And you would only be putting yourself in danger if you stayed.

“If you leave,” your voice cracked with emotion. “I won’t be here when you come back. If you choose drugs over me then we’re over, Spencer.”

There hadn’t been even a hint of hesitation when he’d suddenly let you go, stepped back, shrugged and spoke again.

“You can see yourself out then.”

And that was the last time you saw him until, a little over a year later, when you received a phone call from the one person you never expected to hear from again.

***

Spencer Reid was not a perfect person. There were many, many things he wished he hadn’t done.

But taking the vials of dilaudid from the dead man who’d held him hostage was probably one of the dumbest.

He tried to get sober but the longer he used the harder he found it to quit. For a time he managed to hide his addiction from everyone, you included, but it quickly spiralled out of control.

Had he been in his right mind, there was no way he would have put anything above his relationship with you. You were the best thing that had ever happened to him, he still remembered meeting you like it was yesterday.

You were a student in Gideon’s class around his age and on the occasions when he spent his time away from the BAU shadowing his mentor at the university, the two of you had grown close.

You were his first relationship, he still even now didn’t really understand how someone like you was interested in someone like him. But he counted his lucky stars every single day.

But his drug use got out of hand and really the moment you walked away should have been the wake up call he needed. Unfortunately it wasn’t.

After that night he continued using for another ten months. That time passed him by slowly and rapidly in equal measure.

His whole life had fallen apart but all he could think of was his next hit. The small windows of clarity that came when he woke up in the morning didn’t last long as he often shot up before he’d even indulged in his first coffee of the day.

Being sober terrified him. If he was sober too long then he would have time to reflect on all the things he’d lost and all the things Hankel had done to him.

But then one morning before he stuck that needle in his vein, he ventured into his living room.

It had been months since he’d seen this particular room through sober eyes and maybe that was why it had taken him so many months to notice it.

It was innocuous in its smallness which paled in comparison to the rest of the room. Perhaps it was the sunlight seeping in between the cracks in the curtains, causing the item to shimmer that caught his attention.

He padded towards it, the small glint of silver set against the dark wood floorboards just to the left of his front door. When he reached it, he fell to the ground and picked it up between his fingers.

The cool metal of the chain tingled against his fingertips and he cradled the small pendant in his palm.

On your first official date when Spencer had taken you for dinner you’d told him about your affinity for birds.

Since you were a child you’d always loved the symbolism of them, of freedom and hope and new beginnings as well as courage and strength.

He kept that piece of information with him and on your first anniversary he’d gifted you the small silver bird necklace he now held in his palm.

You’d never once taken it off since he’d given it to you. And somehow it had remained on his floor for some ten months since the last time he’d seen you.

And for whatever reason that necklace was like a beacon to Spencer. It was a sign that something needed to give, that he couldn’t carry on this way.

So with the necklace still in hand he marched back to his bedroom and flushed the dilaudid down the toilet.

Then he called JJ.

Despite not talking to him in months she was more than happy to help her best friend. She checked him into the most elite rehab facility in the state, for which Rossi was footing the bill for. She stood by his side through the worst of the withdrawals, and he was visited by the members of his old team.

During the course of getting sober he needed to make amends. One by one he did this, first with JJ and Rossi, then Penelope, Hotch and Emily and finally with Morgan.

He was two months sober and still residing in the facility when he finally called you.

He didn’t expect you to come, that’s not why he called. But you came anyway.

He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how hard it was for you to visit him after a year had passed, after everything he’d put you through.

Yet somehow you’d put your hurt and your anger aside simply because he’d called you.

Sitting opposite you in the recreation room, all the things he’d thought he would say to you left his brain. Seeing you now the extent of the pain he’d caused you spread across your features and the only thought left in his head was how much he hated himself for putting you through that.

He looked down at his hands, the paper beneath his fingers. The twelve steps. The twelve steps of which he was stuck right here on number nine.

“The eighth step,” he whispered, tearing his eyes off the page to look back at you. “I managed the eighth. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. The, uh, making of the list was the easy part. It’s the part that comes next that’s really hard.”

You stayed silent, lips drawn in a tight line and back rigid in your seat. You waited for him to continue.

“Step nine is the part that requires us to actually reach out to the people we’ve hurt and make amends with them. They tell us that the only exception to this should be in cases where trying to make amends will do more harm than good. Opening up old wounds, causing more pain.

It’s why it took two months of being here to reach out. I’m worried that in doing so I may have very well done more harm than good. But uh, selfishly, I needed to apologise to you face to face. And I’m sorry if that’s opened all those old wounds for you.” He ran his fingers over the paper by way of keeping himself tethered.

“I got used to you being selfish.” You replied passive aggressively and Spencer knew he deserved that and a whole lot worse.

“I don’t have any excuses, Y/N.” He sighed, rolling his lip between his teeth. “The drugs turned me into someone I don’t even recognise. They brought out the worst in me and you had to suffer the brunt of it and for that I am truly sorry.”

“Is that it?” You shrugged, sliding your chair back. “You wanted to apologise. You said it, I heard it. Are we done here?”

Spencer watched with a confused frown as you got to your feet, slinging your purse over your shoulder. He picked up the sheet of paper and stood too.

“Uh, I mean I guess so?” He pulled a face.

Why would you agree to see him and come all this way for only a few minutes?

He watched you turn on your heels and start towards the door while he stood scratching at the back of his neck. He stuffed the wrinkled paper into his pocket and as he did so his fingers brushed against the metal chain.

He freed it from his pocket and held it up so the pendant was in his eye line, the little swallow with its wings spread wide as if in mid flight.

Freedom. Hope. New beginnings. Courage. Strength.

Suddenly he took off after you, catching up to you in the gardens as you headed up the path towards the parking lot.

“We’re not done.” He called after you. “At least I’m not.”

Your back straightened and your pace slowed until you were at a halt. Cautiously you turned back to face him.

“What else is there to say, Spencer?” You exhaled loudly.

He walked closer to you and you noticed the necklace dangling from his fingers.

“Y/N, I am sorry that I hurt you. It’s something I’ve had to live with every day I’ve been sober. I wish I could take away all the pain I put you through but I can’t. But there’s something I need you to hear.” He gently reached out for your hand, turning it over so your palm was up and he placed the little bird inside of it, coiling the chain into your hand.

You wrapped your fingers around it once he let you go, holding it tight as if it might come alive and fly away.

“What? What do you need me to hear?” Your eyes gave way to your sadness, to the pain he’d caused you.

“It was finding that necklace that gave me the courage I needed to ask for help. It gave me the strength I needed to get sober. It offered me the hope that I could get clean this time, the freedom of knowing I didn’t need drugs to survive. It gave me a new beginning, it opened a door for me to start over.” He felt tears in his eyes and he fought to keep them at bay.

“Spencer, I’m really pleased you finally got sober, I am. But let’s not pretend it had anything to do with me or that necklace.” You swallowed, holding the chain tighter still.

“No one’s pretending. It shouldn’t have taken me as long as it did to realise and I can’t change that. But I found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new.” He sniffed, unable to stop reaching for you and cupping the side of your neck. “And the reason is you.”

Your own tears overflowed, one’s you didn’t realise had worked their way to your eyes. You loosened the grip on the chain slightly, letting your fingers brush over the metal.

“Spencer,” you mumbled. “I…”

“I know it’s probably too late for all of this and I can’t expect you to just forgive me overnight. But if you think there’s ever a chance you might one day forgive me…it would mean a lot of you would come and visit again.” He let his hand fall to his side again and took a step back.

You wiped your tears with your free hand and nodded slowly.

“Can I…I need to think about it, ok? I just need to process all of this.”

“Of course, take all the time you need.” He nodded.

You said your goodbyes after that and Spencer slumped back inside, convinced he would never see you again.

One week later when he arrived in the rec room to meet his visitor, you were sitting at the table waiting for him, smiling softly in his direction.

And taking in the small silver swallow in its rightful place hanging around your neck, Spencer felt hope. A new beginning unfolding right before his very eyes in the recreation room of his rehab facility.

As he slid into the chair opposite you and you reached across the table, brushing your fingers over his knuckles, he knew he’d found his reason for being put on this Earth.

And the reason was you.

#milestone celebration #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

342 notes · View notes

twst-drabbles · 6 months

Text

Lilia 10

Summary: You let Lilia help with a lot of things when he comes to visit your home. Not with cooking though. Never cooking.

There was a familiar tapping, well more like slapping, on your kitchen window. It didn’t scare you but it did manage to distract you enough to stop your peeling. And when the gears in your head finally started to turn from being on autopilot, you heaved a big sigh.

Behind the glass, clearly hot from being in the sun for too long, was the little bat Lilia. He perked up when he caught your attention and batted at the window with renewed vigor.

You finished the last peel before leaning towards the window. You cracked it open just enough to let Lilia in and keep most of the hot air out.

“You’re supposed to be at home,” you flatly said to a panting Lilia on your palm, “sleeping, having your little bat dreams or whatever it is that’s in your small skull.”

His wings were swinging limply, too hot to keep them on himself, but that didn’t stop Lilia from frantically licking all over your palm. Trying to get a little snack, huh? Spoiled bat brat.

You pulled out a dry cloth, soaked it a little under the sink before putting it on the counter. You laid Lilia on it and he splayed himself over it without much care in the world. You could practically see the heatwaves coming off of his body.

Today really is a hot day huh? Well, no matter. You have a meal to cook.

“Just stay there and cool down,” you patted his head, humming at Lilia’s pleasant little chitters, “and don’t try to help me.”

Oh what were you thinking, saying not to help you?

“Lilia, no,” it didn’t take long for him to cool down, and soon enough you found him shuffling around in your spice cabinet. “Put that back.”

Lilia peeked at you from behind your jar of custom hot chocolate mix. It’s not really for you to be honest, it was more for Crowley. He liked to add brandy to it, though you’ve seen him experiment with all sorts of stuff. Like using chocolate wine. Ended up too bitter for him.

It’s one of his weird habits. He always has to drink this specific drink with you in the room. He’s probably seen too many Christmas specials, even though you’re pretty sure he doesn’t celebrate it. Well, he’s easily sentimental like that.

Anyways, Lilia apparently knew better and gripped the edge with his feet. He flapped over to you, jar right over your mixing bowl.

“No, we are not adding that,” you snatched the jar from him in midair, “I know it smells nice, but no.”

You put it back and closed the cabinet. Before Lilia could dive himself into the bowl–he nearly did actually, his nose was pointed right to it–you grabbed him and lifted him to your face.

Lilia chirped as though nothing was wrong in the world, patting your face with his wings in much the same way you did him when you’re drying him off.

“Get out of the kitchen,” Lilia’s happy little mood cracked and broke. You almost felt bad, but you knew this mischief maker too well. If one is not firm with him, he will try and worm his way into getting what he wants. “You can go cry in the living room.”

And you tossed him through the doorway. This would probably give every sensible pet owner a heart-attack, you wouldn’t blame them, but Lilia is Lilia. He took flight quite gracefully and glided right over the armrest of the couch. He dug his feet into the fabric and hung upside down.

He kept his dewy eyes on you, as though you have thoroughly betrayed him and broke his old heart. Even gave the biggest of sniffles. You think there’s mucus running up his forehead. Gross.

Perhaps you should invest in getting Lilia those pretend play cooking sets? You’ve seen plenty of hot pink ones among Sam’s stock. Knowing the man, he’ll probably have some on sale by the time you go there. He always seems to know what things to make cheaper just as you get there.

You just sighed and focused right back to your meal. You haven’t lost your motivation to cook just yet.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst-drabbles #twst-drabbles exclusive #drabble #diasomnia #lilia #lilia vanrouge #house pet au #reader insert

154 notes · View notes

logan368 · 9 months

Note

Hi! I saw that your requests are open. Do you think you can do a Grian x reader, fluff?

Make some time for yourself

Grian x Gn! Reader

You don't know how long it had been. You'd been pushing yourself to get this done because you knew the second you took a break you'd lose motivation and you didn't know when you'd get it back. You also didn't take into consideration that maybe you getting burnt out had something to do with the fact that you spent so much time hours and days on end. It was so close to being done you couldn't give up now.

"Y/N!!!!" You jumped in shock as you turned around and saw a very angry avian staring at you.

"Oh hey Grian, can't talk right now. I'm kind of busy." You pushed your boyfriend away and continued pressing on to your build. When someone grabbed your hand pulling you back.

"Uh no, people have been trying to get your attention for days now. You need to sleep and a break." Grian glared at you.

You grumbled the thought of sleep making you yawn. Had it already been 3 days? You had completely lost track of time. Grian pulled you along to your starter base. Completely against your will.

"G my base will never get done."

"Y/N you do realize these things take time. You can't just keep going at it until your body forces you to take a break. You worry me when you get like this." His eyes were starting to water. "It makes me sick to my stomach watching you overwork yourself."

You gulped and looked at your boyfriend giving him a hug and cuddling up close to him and before you knew it you were passed out in his arms. Grian looked down and smiled at you shaking his head before taking you to your base and setting you down on your bed. "What amu i ever going to do with you." He sighed petting your hair.

You woke up and yawned stretching when you're moments were stopped by a rock? Did you finally overwork yourself until you passed out. When did you pass out? What had happened? As you tried to recollect your memory and look around you realized. That wasn't a rock, it was Grian, and you were in your own bed. You bit your lip. He wasn't going to be happy with you when he woke up. He'd already told you before the season started not to overwork yourself. You looked at the blonde haired boy asleep next to you. His arms wrapped around you keeping you trapped. You figured he didn't want you to run away and finish working on your base. Figures much, but you were hungry. You sighed and poked the blonde haired man next to you. He stirred and stretched waking up.

"Why good morning." He smiled lovingly at you. "So glad you got some rest." He kissed your nose.

"Good morning to you too G, but if you're really gonna make me take care of myself. Can I get up and eat."

"Yeah, I have to go do something. I'll be back soon. Don't do anything stupid." Grian said getting up and flying away.

You sighed. He really said bye quickly. You got up and ate. You were startled by a knock at your door. You went and opened it and saw Scar.

"Hey! Y/N I was sent here to retrieve you. Come with me." You yelped as he grabbed your hand and dragged you away without a moment to think about his offer.

"Where are we going."

"It's a suprise."

You grumbled as you were dragged away. "Now my task is done. See you around fellow hermit." Scar grinned and walked away. You looked over to see a sign leading down a path.

Y/N this way~

Just follow the signs

C'mon you got this.

You were getting an eerie vibe as you read the signs which were distanced apart along the path as you continued your way.

Almost there

So close

The final sign

Here you are

You looked up to see a blanket set out with a beautiful view of the server ontop a mountain. You then looked and saw Grian.

"Grian? What is this?" You looked around completely awestruck.

"You've been so focused on your base I thought I'd give you a break to see all the other great things people have built here." Grian gave you a cheeky grin as he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his lap pointing out cool things here and there as he cuddled you atop the mountain. "I love you Y/N."

You smiled leaning into the avians touch. "I love you too G."

#grian x reader #hermitcraft x reader

182 notes · View notes

dk-thrive · 4 months

Text

Writing is thinking, but it’s thinking slowed down — stilled —

... And that’s one of the arguments for writing well — for taking the time and summoning the focus to do so. Good writing burnishes your message. It burnishes the messenger, too.

You may be dazzling on your feet, an extemporaneous ace, thanks to the brilliant thoughts that pinball around your brain. There will nonetheless be times when you must pin them down and put them in a long email. Or a medium-length email. Or a memo. Or, hell, a Slack channel. The clarity, coherence, precision and even verve with which you do that — achieving a polish and personality distinct from most of what A.I. spits out — will have an impact on the recipients of that missive, coloring their estimation of you and advancing or impeding your goals.

If you’re honest with yourself, you know that, because you know your own skeptical reaction when people send you error-clouded dreck. You also know the way you perk up when they send its shining opposite. And while the epigrammatic cleverness or audiovisual genius of a viral TikTok or Instagram post has the potential to shape opinion and motivate behavior, there are organizations and institutions whose internal communications and decision-making aren’t conducted via social media. GIFs, memes and emojis don’t apply.

When my friend Molly Worthen, a history professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a frequent contributor to Times Opinion, took the measure of the influential diplomat Charles Hill for her 2006 book “The Man on Whom Nothing Was Lost,” she noted that a principal reason for his enormous behind-the-scenes influence was his dexterity with the written word. He took great notes. He produced great summaries. He made great arguments — on paper, not just on the fly.

Worthen noted in her book that “transmitting ideas into written words is hard, and people do not like to do it.” As a result, someone who performs that task gladly, quickly and nimbly “in most cases ends up the default author, the quarterback to whom others start to turn, out of habit, for the play.”

Good writing announces your seriousness, establishing you as someone capable of caring and discipline. But it’s not just a matter of show: The act of wrestling your thoughts into logical form, distilling them into comprehensible phrases and presenting them as persuasively and accessibly as possible is arguably the best test of those very thoughts. It either exposes them as flawed or affirms their merit and, in the process, sharpens them.

Writing is thinking, but it’s thinking slowed down — stilled — to a point where dimensions and nuances otherwise invisible to you appear....

I think you can take the “pen and paper” out of the equation — replace them with keystrokes in a Google Doc or Microsoft Word file — and the point largely holds. That kind of writing, too, forces you to concentrate or to elaborate. A tossed-off text message doesn’t. Neither do most social media posts. They have as much to do with spleen as with brain.

What place do the traditional rules of writing and the conventional standards for it have in all this? Does purposeful, ruminative or cathartic writing demand decent grammar, some sense of pace, some glimmer of grace?

Maybe not. You can write in a manner that’s comprehensible and compelling only or mostly to you. You can choose which dictums to follow and which to flout. You’re still writing.

But show me someone who writes correctly and ably — and who knows that — and I’ll show you someone who probably also writes more. Such people’s awareness of their agility and their confidence pave the way. Show me someone who has never been pressed to write well or given the tutelage and tools to do so and I’ll show you someone who more often than not avoids it and, in avoiding it, is deprived of not only its benefits but also its pleasures.

Yes, pleasures. I’ve lost count of the times when I’ve praised a paragraph, sentence or turn of phrase in a student’s paper and that student subsequently let me know that the passage had in fact been a great source of pride, delivering a jolt of excitement upon its creation. We shouldn’t devalue that feeling. We should encourage — and teach — more people to experience it.

— Frank Bruni, from "A.I. or no A.I., it pays to write — and to write well" (NY Times, December 21, 2023)

#write #writing #writer #frank bruni #emails #texts #messages #essay #prose #story

97 notes · View notes

ninjigma · 1 year

Text

QuinFox Week Part 4/7 - First / Previous / Next

Day 4: Keeping the Other Alive + Fox find's Quin's Lightsaber Track: 'Escape From East Berlin' - Daniel Pemberton (Spotify / YouTube)

"You have to stay with me Vos, come on!"

He really was trying, promise.

"I know, just... focus on keeping up. I'll do the rest, okay?"

Quinlan took a slow breath, focusing on just putting one fast-paced foot in front of the other. His awareness was muted in his attempt to mask his pain, and at this point, all the energy he had was being expended in keeping ahead of whatever droids were left on their tail.

Suddenly he was being hauled up and forward, aware of the ladder only when its rungs were suddenly beneath his hands.

"Up!" Fox barked, shots ringing out after his words.

Quinlan obeyed the sharp order without hesitation. He was around three floors up when his awareness flared and he wrenched backward, a hand flailing wildly as he lost his hold on the wet durasteel. A new slew of blaster fire came from the end of the alleyway, backup arriving and causing further chaos. Moving purely on instinct he reached for where his saber was clipped to his belt-

And found nothing.

The sound of his saber igniting drew his gaze downward, the green flashing and lighting up across the red of Fox's armor. The clone must have picked it up earlier when Quinlan had nearly collapsed, no time to do much more than grab the saber in one hand and pull Quinlan back to his feet with the other. Now Fox was moving with deadly accuracy, cloak fanning out around him, and Quinlan noted how even without Force sensitivity Fox was plenty skilled with the blade. He was precise and sly in his movements, expertly incorporating the blaster to dispatch another droid with a bullseye to the head, the sight inspiring some rather unique feelings in the base of Quinlan’s stomach.

"I said up Vos!"

Right, he was supposed to be climbing. Without another thought he continued moving, easily trusting Fox to cover him. That simple piece of knowledge that Fox was with him was enough to assure him they had a chance in all of this mess, was enough to motivate him forward.

He made it to the roof without further incident, slipping over the edge and sliding across the wet surface. The way it momentarily muffled the sound of the alleyway and how the rain thrummed against Quinlan's skin brought the Jedi a moment's respite, a second of clarity in the fog where he tried to parse out what they needed to do next.

He wasn't dead, not yet anyhow. But now they were on a rooftop and rather exposed to any air support the Separatists may have in the area. They needed cover, Quinlan needed medical attention, and most of all they had to get back to the ship and out of this damned sector.

All too soon Fox was joining him, Quinlan only having a few moments to breathe before Fox had grabbed his hand and yanked them both across slick metal and tile. Fox was still holding his saber, playing their escape purely on the defensive, and Quinlan was again truly impressed with how well Fox was handling the blade, continuous sweeps that blocked blaster bolts out of the sheer speed of the weapon's arc.

Though Quinlan knew this wouldn't last long. Already he could see the end of the street coming up with a gap they definitely couldn't jump across. Fox had been guiding them as best he could, but they would be stuck with nowhere to go now, and would end up surrounded and outnumbered in seconds. They wouldn’t last long.

Unless...

Fox had begun to slow, head whipping around in search of some way out of this besides fighting straight back through the droids. Thus he was a bit surprised when Quinlan somehow found an extra burst of speed and began pulling Fox along after him instead.

Fox wasn’t dying like this, for something Quinlan had done, not while he was still drawing air.

"General?!" Quinlan managed a rather unhinged smile at the surprise in Fox's tone, though the commander followed without any other complaint. If anything he sped up, keeping pace directly toward the edge of the building, even when it became clear that was exactly what Quinlan was aiming for.

Trust me.

It may have been a trick of his mind, his single focus on getting them both out of this alive, but Quinlan could swear Fox squeezed his hand before leaping off that roof with him.

Always.

The feeling of free falling wasn’t unknown to Quinlan, but the struggle not to succumb to dizziness as he stretched out a hand and slowed them was an interesting first. He gave all of his attention to the presence of Fox, adding it to his own awareness and willing the Force up to meet them. In a rather graceless move the Force answered, just before they reached the street, and they were suspended perfectly in the air a moment before falling the last foot to safety.

Quinlan staggered, would’ve fallen if not for Fox immediately tucking into his side and pushing them ever onward. Now the Jedi really was stumbling, his energy burning up faster than he could think.

Then they were stopped, hands were on his shoulders. Black spots dotted his vision, but things were quiet finally and Quinlan could swear he wasn’t standing any longer. All that really mattered was how he could still sense Fox, reaching out and focusing on that steady and clever soul in order to find the motivation to keep moving.

Well, they must be safe if Fox had stopped them, had begun pressing something against where Quinlan knew his shoulder should hurt but only felt the dull sensation of Fox’s hands.

He always thought Fox had nice hands, strong and sleek with a small scar on his right palm.

Maybe Fox would let him kiss it, just once.

“Don’t- Quinlan!”

#mild warning #mentions of injury #literally just quinlan trying not to black out #and being very worried for his clone #the art is complete we only await my writers brain #which is trying to hide in a hoodie in the corner #foxquinweek2023 #quinlan vos #clone commander fox #quinfox #foxquin #quinlan x fox #fanart #my art #my writing

424 notes · View notes

thegaybluejay · 28 days

Text

Okay hi I’m back with another ramble-y ATLA character analysis since this is low key my brand on here lmao-

Today I want to talk about Zuko from the lens of someone who also had to deconstruct. This will be long, but please bear with me!

I was raised in a very white conservative evangelical Christian bubble where literally EVERYONE I knew for the majority of my childhood and teenage years thought mostly the same way. There was a lot of othering and shaming of anyone who thought too differently. Even if it was sometimes said more passively than cruelly, there was always that underlying tone. “The others/the people outside of our group/the worldly ones are lost and need our help because we’re better than them!”

While I strived to not be cruel, my beliefs were still harmful. I lost a few friends when I got to my mid-late teenage years because I didn’t yet know how to challenge what I’d been taught.

I see so much of myself in Zuko.

Zuko was surrounded by propaganda his entire life. He was steeped in it - steeped in the blood of those that the system he supported/represented had hurt and killed.

Anger is a huge part of all of this. While my anger was never quite as outward as Zuko’s (I hid it fairly well and was always known as the “pretty good kid”), I can still so heavily relate to his anger. His anger at always falling just short of being good enough or perfect enough. His later anger at himself for not understanding how fucked up the system was sooner. His anger at the people that failed and hurt him. His anger at realizing how he failed and hurt other people. All of it.

I also understand his backslides in Book 2 and early Book 3. When you begin tackling the first layers of harmful shit you’ve been taught, it can quickly become so tempting to just call it quits and go back. You almost start to romanticize the simplicity of life before you began this journey. The rules and goals were so straightforward back then, and deconstructing is messy as hell. Even if you were deeply hurting in your old life, at least you weren’t so damn confused. You used to know your next steps, but now everything is in disarray and you don’t have a direction to rebuild in yet. Going back almost feels like it would be a survival tactic, a way to have a sense of control again. Zuko definitely 100% needed to atone for what he did in Ba Sing Se because it hurt others, and while I’d like to think I would’ve made a different choice in his shoes, I also get it on some level. The confusion stage sucks, and it’s not always linear either.

But then.

One day, something just clicks. You eventually deconstruct enough that you truly come to full terms with how fucked up it all is. And you realize that you don’t belong there anymore, and the version of you that DID belong was just a facade. The blinders fully come off, they’re never going back on, and a spark lights in you that prompts you to make a big change. The deeper you go, the more urgent this deconstruction becomes in your mind because holy fuck I have to do something about this. I want this shit out of my brain for good and I want to help make things better. I want to learn who I am and finally live that out.

THAT is one of the most pivotal points in the journey, and I loved seeing it within Zuko’s arc when he comes to this realization after the war meeting in Book 3 and leaves to join the Gaang. I also loved that they didn’t trust him the first time he came to them - both he as an individual and the system that he had once supported/represented had hurt these people, and it took some real apologies and some time to build up trust. It also wasn’t done with half assed centrism either - it was “I acknowledge that this system is completely broken and wrong and I will do everything in my power to help gut it from the top-down and restore it with love”.

This leads to another pivotal point in the journey - instead of being motivated by fear like you were when you were deep in the indoctrination or by the raw anger you first felt as you initially left, you start to be motivated by love. And it’s the most freeing thing.

It was so cool to see Zuko learn that, while his anger was a helpful tool (ie: the confrontation with his father and his overall anger at the corruption he saw in his nation), he couldn’t be fueled by it any longer. He had to find another motivation to keep going, and he was then taught by the Sun Warriors and the dragons how to be motivated by light and life and love and also how to use those alongside an anger that was finally righteous.

And with this, he was ready to fight. To fight for a cause he knew to be good. To fight arm in arm with his newly acquired family. To fight to fix what his nation had done to the world and to itself. To fight for love and peace instead of division and hate and destruction.

And wow is it a beautiful journey.

TL;DR - Zuko’s story is so powerful to those who are deconstructing and I love him so much! I also just enjoy doing character analysis hehe.

(I really love talking about ATLA, so if y’all want me to analyze other characters or even plotlines through a specific lens, feel free to submit an Ask and I will happily do so!!!)

(Also, quick ending note - this is just my personal experience with deconstruction! Other people’s retelling of their own deconstructions may be different from mine, and that’s totally okay!!)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zuko #prince zuko #character arcs #i really love zuko guys #deconstruction #deconstructing christianity #exvangelical

24 notes · View notes

forhereyesonlyyy · 9 months

Text

your love. // stayc, pse. // one-shot.

in which you visit your girlfriend sieun after months of not being around each other, and you both find it hard to control repressed emotions after sieun goes overboard during your moment alone.

word count: 8.4k.

author’s note: my first stayc one-shot!!! i gotta be honest with ya'll i started writing this during asap era but towards the end i kind of lost motivation to continue so that's why it's a bit dragged on because i kinda just started saying anything sihdskfh BUT!!! THIS IS A WORK MADE WITH LOVE!!! i absolutely adore my stayc and girls and i cannot wait for teenfresh GIVE ME THE SONG OF THE LATE SUMMER MY GIRLS!!! p.s. i'm sorry this is sooooo long like omg...

tags: wlw, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff towards the end, sieun fucks up, seeun the bestest best friend evver it's true.

warnings: suggestive at one point.

You got the genius idea when you were in your bathroom, staring blankly back at your reflection as you lazily brushed your teeth. You’ve been counting, as lame as that sounds, and in preparation for her upcoming comeback with her group, Sieun has been gone for months too long for you to endure. You missed her badly, but it wasn’t like she has been ignoring you or only talked to you once in a blue moon. No, Sieun always made sure that she texted you or call you during her downtime and in return, when you aren’t drowning in schoolwork, you send her some pictures of your face just to make sure that she doesn’t forget what you look like.

Sieun sends you some photos and even videos as well, and some late-night calls really makes you feel a lot less lonely. But of course you will always want more than that. You don’t even want to think about how long it has been since you last hugged or kissed or simply just looked at your dear girlfriend. And so, that one night, while you were brushing your already incredibly spotless teeth, you decided to surprise Sieun while she’s filming the music video with her members for the lead single of their latest album.

Sieun had told you a week before that they would start filming soon, and that day was today. That time was now, actually. You had arrived at the studio where the filming was taking place, and you’ve already informed some nearby staff about your galaxy brain surprise plan. Now you were just hoping that none of the louder girls spot you and make a scene. As much as you loved the members, you hoped that things would roll smoothly just this once.

You spot Sieun’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair from a distance, and she was sitting on a chair chatting with a stylist. In front of her sat Sumin and Yoon, and against all of your wishes, Yoon had made eye contact with you and Sumin, sweet as ever, smiled so big upon seeing you. You immediately put your index finger over your lips for damage control and thankfully the two girls recognized the message and pretended you didn’t exist.

You continue making your way behind your sitting girlfriend but then you come to a halt when she suddenly raises her phone. You quickly hid behind a particularly tall staff member, who tried his best to not crack up as you did so. You peeked over the staff’s shoulder and of course, Sieun was indeed taking a picture of herself. Once she was finished, she brought the phone back down to her lap and finally, you make your move.

Just before you could put your chin on your girlfriend’s shoulder, you suddenly remember that you are only supposed to be Park Sieun’s good friend (Y/N). Scrapping every single one of your plan to surprise Sieun with a kiss or a hug, you stood frozen on your spot with a new plan. Sieun raises her phone for another picture and since you were literally right behind her chair, you were in the camera as well. You put up a peace sign and on the picture Sieun took, it really just looked like you photobombed her.

It took Sieun a few seconds but then she finally spots you on the picture and quickly turns around, then she confirms that yes, you are actually there.

“(Y/N), oh my God!” Sieun stands up from her chair and runs to engulf you in a tight hug. You felt your heart swell upon feeling your girlfriend’s warmth and if it weren’t for all the people around the two of you, you probably would have broke down in tears because you were not one to control your emotions well. Especially right in front of Sieun, the most important person in your life. You hold back on the hug and made it look as platonic as you could, but then Sieun leans back, keeping her arms around your neck, and ever so slightly her clear eyes shifted from your own down to your lips. You look at her, and you knew that if this embrace lasts for even one more second, you would risk ruining her life forever. So you stepped back, forcing an awkward grin on your lips.

“When did you get here?” Sieun asked. Her tone was shaky and unsure, it seems like she realized her own mistake. She had no idea how much it ate you up inside that you couldn’t even talk to each other publicly without fearing that everything will fall apart.

“Just ten minutes ago. I would’ve arrived earlier but I stopped by the nearest coffee shop and got you and the girls some pastries,” You paused. You didn’t know how strict the company was with the members’ diet, but now that you were here, you realized that you... didn’t really care. Even idols should enjoy food without worrying about gaining some pounds! Come on now, it’s even in your song, STAYC! “You can eat it on your break, or take it home. Just please, I don’t know, eat.” You said.

Sieun takes the box of pastries from your hands, and the brief touch of your fingers was enough to tug at your heartstrings. Your girlfriend turns to put away the pastries, and you take the time to look around the set. J was in the middle of filming her individual scenes, and Seeun and Isa were fooling around with a camera off to the side. It was most likely content for their fans. Looking back at Yoon and Sumin, they were focused on glossing over the delicious food you bought for them and argued about who gets which donut. From near them, Sieun gestures you to come over and so you did.

You sat on the chair across the three girls and hugged your backpack close to your chest. You had another gift, but it was for Sieun and you wanted to give it to her when you two were given a moment of privacy, if ever.

“(Y/N)! You didn’t have to waste your money and get these for us! You should’ve treated yourself instead.” Sumin says. Yoon mutters some words, but you couldn’t understand her since she was munching on a croissant.

You waved your hand, “It’s alright, I don’t mind. Sieun told me you girls have been working really hard for this comeback so I just thought that I could give you all a little something.”

Yoon swallows and wipes the corners of her mouth with a tissue, “Well, I’m glad you did because I have been craving sweet stuff for months! You should come more often! Sieun-unnie, tell (Y/N) to come more often.” The second youngest insists, nudging the second eldest’s shoulder.

Sieun only laughs at the younger girl’s orders, but you know in her heart that it’s what she wants too. There are times where the two of you can spend some solid time together whether it may be outside on a park or just at the comfort of your home. But unfortunately, most of the time, your schedules just don’t work out. When Sieun has a day off, you’re busy with assignments and school-related stuff. Sometimes, Sieun would visit you but even then you would be so distracted that you barely even look at her.

And of course, when you’re not doing much, Sieun is practicing and taking dancing and vocal lessons. You were convinced that the universe was doing its best to tear the two of you apart and there was a time that you almost succumbed to giving up, but you pulled through because you trusted Sieun, and it would break you to just leave her when you know that this was just a small obstacle that the two of you can jump over. Maybe even smash through.

You glanced down on your half-open backpack, and inside there was a red rectangular box with a pink bow tied to it. You chew on your bottom lip, now second guessing your choice. Was a necklace too predictable? You were pretty sure that you have bought Sieun lots of jewelry before, what if she thinks that you put no effort into searching for the perfect gift at all? That was literally your worst nightmare.

While staring holes through the red box, a pair of arms wrapped around your neck from behind and you turn around to see who it was.

“Aw, babe, is that for me? How sweet of you.” Seeun jokes, looking at the content inside your backpack. You rolled your eyes and closed your backpack before gently pushing Seeun away. Having mothers who are friends, you and Seeun were just as close despite having a two-year age difference. Seeun was just a fun person to be around and that was exactly why she was your best friend. You hadn’t known her for a while until your mothers introduced the two of you.

Seeun was the reason you even got to know Sieun on a personal standpoint. You had only seen Sieun on tv until one day, you stopped by their company building for a quick visit and tour from Seeun herself when Sieun happened to be practicing diligently with Sumin, and it all started from there.

“Sure. I would totally give my girlfriend her surprise gift in front of everyone.” You replied sarcastically. Seeun giggles and hugs you again, saying something about how glad she was that you came to visit her and everyone else.

(While you were catching up with Seeun, Sieun was quietly twiddling her thumbs beside Sumin. But of course you don’t see that because you were too busy laughing with your friend. Sieun hated feeling like this, especially towards one of her girls. But she missed you too much, and making her watch you get touchy and chatty with someone else was a lot to ask for.)

After that, Sieun was asked to make her way to the set since it was her turn to film for her individual scenes. You smile at her and mouthed some words of encouragement. Sieun smiles back briefly before going to where the director had told her to stand.

While you certainly enjoyed seeing Sieun in action, whether it may be singing or dancing or acting, you found it quite unfortunate that you couldn’t get to talk much. You loved Seeun, she was your best friend and she makes you laugh like crazy but you just miss Sieun so much. You hoped that sometime this day the two of you will be given a moment to talk. Even a minute would be enough. You just needed to feel connected to her again.

To avoid being a downer for the rest of your visit, you decided to bond with the other members of STAYC. Besides Sieun and Seeun, Isa was the third closest person to you. Not only was she extremely kind towards you, but her overall good-natured aura was almost magnetic. You always find yourself clinging to her because she made you feel good inside. Sieun does not get jealous over that because everyone knew Isa had that effect. Even Sieun herself gets drawn to her.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Isa asked, watching Sieun work diligently with the camera. You smiled proudly at your girlfriend as the whole directing crew whooped to encourage her. You hadn’t realized that you didn’t reply to Isa as Sieun had completely captivated you. Looking at your smile and the way your eyes were quite literally glued to Sieun, Isa finds herself grinning.

“Do you like her?”

The question completely caught you off guard. You nearly snapped your neck when you turned your head to look at the older girl because from the way she said it, Isa sounded like she knew.

“S-Sieun?” You ended up blurting out. Well, now you looked like a fool. Every member’s eyes were on you, although Yoon did look quite funny since she was still eating some bread. Isa tilts her head innocently. She has no idea what she has just done, bless her heart.

“Yes. You look like you’re her biggest fan. I bet she’s your favorite member.” Isa said. Upon realizing that you might have overreacted, you then mentally slap yourself for getting all jittery and nervous. Because of course Isa wouldn’t guess it that easily. You like to think that you and Sieun have been pretty successful with the whole secret dating thing. The two of you have been official since before STAYC even debuted, albeit just a few months! And not one person has even got a hint that you and Sieun were closer than you like to show to others.

Seeun shakes her head, “That’s impossible! I’m your best friend, therefore I should be your favorite member.”

“No. Me and (Y/N) have the same exact interests. If she were just a regular fan and not our friend, I bet she would like me a lot.” J argued, and so STAYC scream over on top of each other to debate which member you like the most. Only if they knew... but they really shouldn’t.

(From the distance, Sieun watches you grin from ear to ear watching the members fight for your affection. This time, she wasn’t feeling jealous. She felt her heart growing heavy. Not with envy, but rather... love.)

When the mess managed to pass and the girls got serious since they still had some work to do, you asked a staff member to point where the washroom was and thanked them when they provided you with some directions. You must’ve eaten something bad before leaving your house since you were in a hurry. Bringing your bag along, you started following the directions the staff member gave you but then a hand tugs on your sleeve, stopping you from making another step.

“Leaving already?” Sieun asked, retracting her hand slowly. Some of the girls were already changing their outfits, while the others were going over the choreography as they were going to film the group dance clip.

“Oh, no. I was just about to go to the washroom. Well... then I was going to come back and say goodbye because my mom wants my help with some groceries,” You replied. Sieun nods, and then she goes quiet. It seems like she couldn’t get the words out of her throat. You understood why to some extent, maybe, but you did wonder why Sieun would feel nervous around you of all people. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” You asked, concerned.

Sieun shakes her head, then she cautiously looks around. You imitate her actions, trying to understand why she was suddenly like this. Sieun suddenly pushes you into an unknown corner where not even one person would dare to look at or walk by, and then she grabs your face with her hands and kisses you softly.

This was certainly new. The two of you agreed to not even be five meters close whenever you’re around just to avoid speculations, except for ‘platonic’ hugs, but here Sieun was, kissing you in public! Not that you were complaining, your mind was too hazed and all you wanted to do was kiss your girlfriend, so you do exactly that.

You’ve nearly forgotten what Sieun’s lips tasted like. The familiar cherry-flavored chapstick she wore all the time comes back to you, and you couldn’t help but pull her closer just so you can never forget about it ever again. Sieun puts her hands on your shoulders, and you feel her clutch your sweater. It almost felt like she was angry, maybe she was. Maybe she was mad about how things had to be this way, how things had to be so unfair to the both of you.

But of course, you would always be there to remind her that it’s all going to be worth it. Because at the end of the day, you have each other and the harder things get, the more the two of you hold on and the more you never wanna let go. You will always end up like this: in each other’s arms and sharing your love for one another through kisses, or maybe something as simple as a look.

Sieun was the first to break the kiss, she wraps her arms around your neck and presses her forehead against yours, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” She whispered. It sounded like she was on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“That’s why I’m here. I just couldn’t wait until the next time you sneak out of your dorm to come to my house.” You confessed, laughing. Sieun had told you through text about how much she feels bad whenever she lies to her members just to see you and plus, you realized that it has been her that was making an effort to see you most often than the other way around so this genius surprise plan of yours was partly made so that you could give her a break.

“I’m glad you did, I couldn’t wait either... I actually wanted to surprise you after today’s filming was done,” Sieun leans further back to look into your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. Of course that was to be expected from Sieun, but you didn’t think she would do it on a work day! “Yeah, I was going to go straight to your house and bother you until you get sick of me.” Sieun joked.

“Now I wish I just stayed put then, I would love for you to try and get me to get rid of you which, spoiler alert, would never ever happen, just saying.” You replied. You leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on top of your girlfriend’s nose.

Sieun hums, “How are you so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious. You couldn’t even believe that she was asking such a question.

“I always want to be with you,” You answered. You kiss Sieun’s lips, but it was short and quick much to her dismay. You laughed a little, and then you hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you said that, of course not. But it has felt so long since you voiced it out, so much that it feels like it’s the first time, but that was okay. The first time you said those three words, you heart was beating out of your chest and you voice was shaking from nervousness, having been overwhelmed by your own emotions at the time.

Back then, you were in over your head trying to figure out if Sieun felt the same about you because you really were hopelessly in love. And even though she did say it back before and has since been saying the words first sometimes, you were nervous at her reply. Will she just smile at you? Will she leave? Will she just kiss you and then leave? Do you still feel the same?

“I love you so much more.”

Your heart bends, breaks, and heals all at once at your love’s response. It was something that only Sieun could make you feel.

“Good.” You kiss her again. Again, and again until Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. You missed seeing her beautiful smile with your own eyes, and hearing her laugh over the phone didn’t give you the same butterflies as it would face-to-face. How you wished the two of you could just have a whole week— no, that would be too short. You wished that you could be with Sieun for a whole summer because what better way to spend your favorite season than being with your favorite person?! Obviously you had to stop being a brat about your situation and eat it up, but you were Sieun’s biggest fan and you simply had nothing to blame but... the timing of it all.

You briefly glance behind Sieun and your heart nearly drops to your stomach when you spot Yoon’s tall figure passing by, looking confused. With all your heart, you prayed to the Gods that the second youngest wouldn’t dare to enter your little corner. Mostly because you didn’t want anything to cut your moment with Sieun shorter than it has to be.

“Jayoon is going to talk, and they’re all going to start looking for you,” You said. Sieun hums, not seeming to care at all. Her left cheek was pressed against your right shoulder, her lips just barely grazing against your neck, making you shiver. Right. When Sieun misses you too much, she tends to get drunk with... impulse. You weren’t any different, but at least you had more restraint to not commit to doing monkey business in public! “What’s going to be your excuse?” You asked, trying to take your mind off of the trail of kisses Sieun was leaving up your neck.

“What are you trying to do?” Sieun asked, her breath tickling that funny spot behind your ear that she knows pushes you closer to giving in to her.

You hear footsteps getting closer and you start panicking, “One more second away from the set and I swear we get closer to basically telling everyone we’re gonna get married and have three kids, one named after Chaeyoung.”

“Hm. I guess we better do this quickly, then.” Sieun’s hands somehow finds a way to slip under your sweater, and you flinch backwards, both angry and shocked at how your girlfriend was being so careless at the moment.

You try to let her off easy, “Babe, if you can wait four long months then surely you can hold on for a few hours more.” You said. Sieun narrows her eyes, and you just knew that this was going to be bigger than it has to be. But you felt the need to remind Sieun just what she was trying to risk for something so... invaluable. At least that was how you saw it.

“(Y/N), you’re going to have to learn to just take the chance because what if we never get it again? I’m going to start promotions with the girls soon and, as you always seem to be, you’re going to be drilled with schoolwork and when you are, I don’t even feel like there’s a relationship to be lost!” Sieun spat. Again, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your girlfriend, but this time for a very different reason.

You grit your teeth, trying to clear your head and avoid saying anything that might make this tiny flame a devastating inferno, “I’m just saying that this isn’t the time nor the place to do this kind of thing, Sieun. I mean... I’m sure it would take some darn good eyes to spot us but what should we do if that happens? Have you ever thought of a way to deal with the consequences? Think about what you’re going to lose! We can’t keep getting away with a ‘near miss’, you know that.” You said.

“You know, one thing I realized about you while we were apart is you are way too invested in making sure that I keep being a singer. That’s sweet, honey, but I have to ask: are you in this for me or my career?” Sieun’s words had tore a hole in your heart, almost literally.

“How could you say that? I—” You briefly paused and kept your voice down to avoid drawing any attention. “I love you.”

(Sieun hears the sincerity in your tone and it eats her up inside.)

“You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point, I don’t want you to throw it all away for something that is worth nothing, or for someone like me,” You take your girlfriend’s hands with yours and you hold them tightly. As if you never want to let go. “We can do whatever you want when you visit me later, okay?” You hoped that this would be enough to stop all the bad feelings and the arguing, but you knew in your heart that the two of you would have to talk about it again in a more civic and mature way.

Sieun slowly pulls her hands away, and God were you so scared of what her next words implied, “There are a lot of things in my life that I can willingly and wholeheartedly throw away my dream for, one of those things is you, (Y/N). You say you love me, but I guess not to the same extent that I love you.”

Something inside you ticks off and once again, you grit your teeth to control your temper. Civil and mature conversation. Civil and mature conversation. Come on, (Y/N), that’s what we’re going for here.

While you were yelling at yourself about keeping calm, Sieun had already started walking back to the set. She apologized to the director and had told everybody that she took it upon herself to show you where the bathroom was. You were left standing alone in that dark corner in utter disbelief. You would have started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you had to leave in approximately five minutes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to think about what had just happened with Sieun, you were saving that for midnight. Before you could leave the studio, however, you managed to slip the red rectangular box inside Sieun’s bag undetected and finally, you headed home.

Sieun did not visit you.

Not that you really care, not after what went down in the studio. Still, it couldn't be helped that you feel hollow inside your heart. It was the first time Sieun did not visit you when she said that she would. Regardless of whether or not the two of you got into a heated argument, Sieun does not let it last for longer than an hour and takes it upon herself to fix burned bridges.

You thought about apologizing first, but you were afraid that you would be distracting Sieun from her work and you didn't want to make things worse for your relationship. So, you stayed quiet for the whole afternoon. Literally. Even your mother noticed that you weren't talking much, but she didn't say anything about it, which you were thankful for.

You got a message from Seeun an hour after you left. She talked about how everyone was sad that you were only there for such a short time. You didn't give her a reply, mostly because you didn't have the energy to do so. After you helped your mother arrange the groceries, you spent the next few hours sitting on the living room couch and watching endless reruns of old dramas. Occasionally you would open the single novel sitting on top of the coffee table, but you would always find yourself looking back on your phone, hoping that Sieun would at least tell you that she got home safely with the girls.

So far into the evening, nothing.

You sighed, hugging your knees close to your chest. You stared at the tv screen and nearly gagged at the sight of a couple kissing in the most awkward way possible. How typical. You groaned since you reached another ending of an episode and you still haven't moved from your spot due to lack of motivation.

At some point, you spaced out. You started thinking of ways to make it up to Sieun when you inevitably see her again, and you had several scenarios in your head playing out that you didn't notice that your front door had been unlocked and opened. Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and prepared yourself to throw it at the unfortunate burglar that has broken into your home.

“(Y/N)...”

You blink and you realized that it was not a burglar that has broken into your home. Instead, it was the very same girl you had been thinking about the whole day, always. Well, she didn't break into the house. You had completely forgotten about the spare key you allowed Sieun to have. It's been a while since she visited, that's why.

“Sieun...?” You were going to sleep crying about how messy things were between you and your girlfriend, but the she shows up in your house at nearly ten in the evening without warning and you find yourself quite a mess inside your head. There she stood on the other end of the couch, disheveled and exhausted. Possibly from running. You clutched on to the blanket covering your legs, you wanted to wrap it around your girlfriend’s figure to keep her warm, but there were a million questions circling your brain that you couldn’t move from your seat.

Why didn’t she call you? She should be resting and preparing herself for the second day of filming, why is she here? Did she actually run from the dormitory to your house? Is she insane?!

Sieun exhales deeply and sits down on the spot beside you. Without a word, she slowly leans her head on your shoulder and rests it there, her hand finding its own way to yours. You release the tension from your shoulders and relaxed, leaning back. You tried to keep yourself focused on the drama in front of you, just to give Sieun a moment to collect herself and finally talk, but a shining object on your peripheral vision has forced you to turn your head and look down at your girlfriend.

To your surprise, Park Sieun was wearing the necklace you had bought for her.

“I’m shocked to see you didn’t throw it away,” You joked. Sieun was wearing some sweats, a shirt, and a jacket. It was obvious that she was getting ready to settle down for the night and put everything that happened in the afternoon somewhere inside her brain where she didn’t have to think about it until later, but something gave her the energy to just come to you. Until she speaks about it, you won’t ask, but boy was the curiosity killing you. “Most people wouldn’t even want to look at anything that reminds them of their lovers after a quarrel.” You muttered.

“It’s from you. I would never throw away any of your gifts over a stupid fight.” Sieun looks up, and from where you were looking, you could see a better view of the necklace. It looked amazing on her, just as you imagined.

The piece of jewel resting between Sieun’s collarbones was that of a sun because, as cheesy as it sounds, you considered Park Sieun as the one who lights your way. And maybe you were just hopelessly in love with her, but whenever she comes into your vision, everything just seems brighter. Other than that, Park Sieun is a small girl who was fed a boatload of talent as she was growing up. You’ve seen what she can do, and you had no doubt that she is one of the most promising idols in the industry. Just as the sun is one of the brightest stars in the galaxy.

You hear Sieun release a shaky breath and despite the entertaining scene playing in the television, her eyes dwelled up with tears. It felt like your heart was being trampled under someone’s feet and you had no choice but to watch.

“(Y/N), I’m really sor—”

You turn the television off and stood up, abruptly interrupting Sieun. That was on purpose, you were not going to have the talk in a living room couch where your mother could easily walk down and overhear. There was nothing for either of you to worry about since your mother knew of your relationship and was respectful and supportive, but you felt that this was something that should stay between you and Sieun.

You turn around to face your girlfriend. Tears had already started streaming down her beautiful bare face, and you gently wipe them away with your thumbs. You then took Sieun’s hand and nodded your head to the stairs, “Let’s go up. I’ll get the bath ready.”

As warm as the water kept you, goosebumps still managed to show themselves on your skin as Sieun started discarding her clothes to the side. You keep your eyes on the faucet, distracting yourself by making scenarios of droplets of water talking to each other in very high-pitched voices in your head. This makes you smile and laugh, but then Sieun joins you in the bathtub and suddenly the droplets of water started screaming in panic. Some even fainted and evaporated, how dark.

Sieun sits in the space between your legs and she hugs her own close to her chest. You rest your chin on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her tight. She had pulled her hair up in the neat bun, exposing her smooth neck. You felt like kissing her.

Should you start talking? You invited Sieun to join you in the bathroom in hopes of talking in a more private space, but now you were actually in a loss for words.

“What I tried doing earlier,” Sieun speaks. You hum in response, taking one of her hands from under the water and intertwining your fingers. “It was wrong. Not because we were at... risk of being caught, but because I was pressuring you to do something against your will. It doesn’t matter if I missed you like crazy, it was terrible of me to do. I’m—” Sieun turns her head, and her eyes soften at the sight of your gentle look.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay,” You replied. You know Sieun would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do in her right mind, she promised you herself as soon as the two of you made things official. “But I understand.” You continued.

“There’s no excuse as to why I would—”

“Let me finish, babe,” You thought about all the times Sieun had to watch you do anything but sit down and talk with her on a day where the two of you were supposed to spend some quality time together after weeks of being apart. And then you thought about the times where you were too reluctant to go on a date outside with Sieun and wasted a free day due to fear of having everything fall apart for her. I’ve been quite the coward. “I think I was being too critical about hiding the fact that we’re dating. You’re the one who makes the most effort to make meetings happen... but I get too scared and before I realize, you’re leaving again and we’ve done nothing.”

“(Y/N)—”

“And then I have the nerve to blame you and your work and the industry when it was me who was slowly ruining this relationship all along. I— How are you not sick of me?” You absolutely hated how you let every good opportunity slip away, how you might have made Sieun feel that she wasn’t in a relationship, how you were never the ‘good lover’ you always wanted to believe you were. You wanted to change, but how will you ever get rid of the feeling that follows whenever you do something even remotely romantic with Sieun in public?

The feeling that you will ruin Sieun’s life, as well as your best friend’s, and that everyone will hate you for it. That Sieun will hate you for it.

“You were protecting me. I appreciate what you do for me and I always will,” Sieun cups your cheeks and leaves soft kisses all over your face. Your heart swells with sadness and the remaining bits of frustration over your past actions, but Sieun’s presence keeps those emotions at bay and eventually your heart was as light as a feather. “I would never hate you for doing what you think is the best for us. You’re my everything, (Y/N).”

Sieun kisses you, and while it was less intense than the one you shared earlier, it holds the same passion and feeling. It was a bit awkward considering that there wasn’t a lot of space for either of you to work in, but you didn’t care about that. All you wanted to do was cherish this moment and never let go of it just yet. There were a lot of things that Sieun made you feel. There was probably no way you can express them all verbally, but you hoped that this kiss would be enough to give Sieun a hint of your true feelings for her.

There wasn’t a limit when it comes to how much you should love a person, and it would be impossible to measure anyway because you knew that every passing second, you love for Sieun grows so much that it could beat the size of the universe.

“We don’t have to hide a lot anymore,” Sieun says after a while, leaning her back into your chest. You blinked, what does that mean? “The girls know.”

Your blood runs cold, “T-They...?”

Sieun nods, “Even the staff.” What the hell? I guess we weren’t as slick as we thought.

Sieun sighs blissfully and relaxes in your embrace. You raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully calm about all of this.” You said. You thought that Sieun would be as nervous as you are right now. Hell, you were even preparing a whole speech in your head just in case there comes a time where you would have to defend your relationship against the world.

“Yeah, it’s good that they know.” Sieun says, and the content smile plastered on her face was enough to make you believe her words.

[A few hours earlier...]

“Rest well, girls. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.”

The members of STAYC thank their manager and bowed politely before making their way inside their dormitory. Immediately, Yoon and Seeun flop down on the couch, groaning about how their legs could not work anymore. Sumin heads straight to the kitchen, already thinking of what to make for dinner. J joins Yoon and Seeun on the couch, comforting them while also teasing them about their ever-deteriorating stamina.

Isa and Sieun were the last to enter. They were silent, and that, Isa thought, was weird in a way.

“What would you all like to have for dinner?” Sumin asks from the kitchen, staring intently at the contents inside the refrigerator as if her desired ingredients would appear if she just stares longer.

“We want—”

A door slams shut, making Yoon flinch and stop talking. Everyone turns their head to the front door and Sieun was nowhere to be found. She had stomped inside her shared room with Isa, J, and Seeun without a word. Isa sighs, contemplating whether she should apprehend Sieun about her behavior or leave her to her thoughts.

Sumin pokes her head out, “Does anybody know what’s going on with her?” She asked. Everybody shrugged, all of them had a different answer they all voiced out.

“Alright. Well, we can’t eat good dinner with a dark cloud above our heads! Yeeun, you’re on grocery duty with me. Chaeyoung, Seeun, and Jayoon, do what you do best and make Sieun smile.” Sumin said, grinning. She and Yeeun leave the dormitory once again, and the rest of the girls were left in the living room feeling clueless.

They all shared a look and then they just knew what to do.

Isa knocks on the door and as expected, Sieun doesn’t answer. Carefully, Isa opens the door and there they found Sieun sitting on her bed, staring at the floor with a dark look on her face. Yoon almost aborted the mission, having been scared of the thought of getting close to Sieun when’s angry, but Seeun keeps her with her and Isa as they tiptoed their way inside the room.

“Hi, unnie.” Seeun said, smiling at the older girl. Sieun looks at her, but doesn’t smile back. Seeun was starting to think that maybe Yoon was right to try and run away from the task. Isa, however, was determined.

The third eldest decided to be frank, “Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

“I just... I think I messed up with— wait, what did you say?” Sieun snaps her head up, now looking at Isa with wide eyes.

“You and (Y/N). You fought, didn’t you?” Isa asks again, making it clear to Sieun that yes, she knows exactly what she is talking about.

Sieun looks at the younger girls and she finds herself in utter disbelief, “You knew?”

Yoon nods, “We’ve all known for a while, actually. Seeun-unnie was the first one, and being Seeun-unnie she accidentally spilled it on us... but it wouldn’t really take a genius to find out about you and (Y/N).” She said. Sieun releases a heavy sigh, then she laughs at herself. All that effort just to find out that the girls have known all along. She didn’t know whether to think it was funny or sad for her, but at least she isn’t being yelled at.

“How...? And when?” Sieun directed the question to Seeun.

Seeun sits on the spot next to the second eldest and tries to remember the exact moment she found out about the not-so-secret relationship, “When we weren’t so busy, (Y/N) came over and played with me and Yeeun for a bit. You were in your room, so you didn’t know that she was here yet. Yeeun and I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, but then I forgot to ask (Y/N) what she wanted to have. So, I went back to the living room to talk to her and... well,” Seeun grins at the memory. It was one of the moments where her heart felt so full at the sight of your smile. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t anything romantic. You were her best friend and if you were happy, she was happy. “She had this big dumb smile on her face while she was staring at her phone and I wondered what could be the cause of that. Turns out that she was going crazy over a cheesy message you sent at the time. I send her the same messages and she just replies with the vomit emoji, but when it was you... I have never seen her so happy.”

Sieun blushes. While she doesn’t remember that exact time, she felt rather reassured after hearing Seeun’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? To us? You know, we were breaking our backs trying to hide it from everybody.” The second eldest sighed.

Seeun thinks hard about it. She knew in her heart that she would’ve confronted the couple about it, not only because she finds pleasure in teasing her tough best friend but mostly because she was over the moon about the two of you finding happiness in one another.

“I don’t know... I guess I felt like I would be intruding— or maybe I thought your hard work would be wasted. Something like that,” Seeun shrugs, giggling about her lack of a clear answer. “But just so you know, I didn’t actually tell the girls about you and (Y/N)! I’m not a snitch! I just... said some small things and they were smart enough to figure it out!” Seeun defends herself, playfully glaring at Yoon.

“No, Jayoon was right. Perhaps we really were a little too obvious about it. Mostly me, probably.” Sieun says, sighing. Not even Seeun visits you in your own home often and you’re practically joined by the hip! And how does Seeun know whenever Sieun was at your place? Well, she could always tell when you’re occupied (you really just don’t respond to the hundred old pictures of Richie she sends), and Sieun always makes sure to make herself look extra pretty on the days she would sneak out to meet up with you.

“Alright, well, now that that’s out of the way, what happened between the two of you in that little corner?” Isa asked, sitting down on the bed across Sieun’s. The second eldest finds herself feeling extremely embarrassed now that she knows that Isa, and probably all of the girls, know where the two of you decided to hide that time. God knows what else they could’ve seen.

“Other than, you know, the kissing.” Yoon commented.

“Please don’t... bring that up.” Sieun shakes her head, flustered. Both Seeun and Yoon sit down on either side of Sieun, making kissing noises to tease her endlessly. Isa sits on the bed across from Sieun's, laughing at the younger girls' antics.

Sieun covers her face with her hands, groaning, "I went... overboard. N-Nothing happened but... fuck, I— I missed her. And she was there, and I just wanted to feel close to her again. It wasn't the right time, I know, but that's not the point. I got mad and I yelled and I said all these horrible things to her and... and now I don't know if I can even face her." She was in complete distraught.

The two of you have fought before, sure. But neither of you have let it gone for this long and let it go this bad. Sieun knows that she has to talk to you, that she has to be the one to apologize because she was the one in the wrong, but she is so, so scared of what you might say to her. A cold and unforgiving look did not suit the sweet eyes Sieun has gotten to love so much but with the state she left you, Sieun thinks that the worst might just happen the next time you two see each other.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to her. All her life she felt that something was missing. Even achieving her greatest dream did not make that hollow feeling go away. Then she met you, and slowly all the pieces of her incomplete puzzle started coming together.

Sieun feels tears building up in her eyes and clutches on her bed tightly, "I don't want lose (Y/N). I can't lose her."

Yoon caresses the older girl's back to comfort her, pouting at Sieun's pitiful sight. Isa only stares, sighing and finding herself thinking of ways to help Sieun. Seeun stands up and grabs Sieun's bag from floor. Sieun doesn't say anything when the younger girl fishes through her bag. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

Seeun cracks a proud smile on her pretty face when she successful finds the red box inside Sieun's bag. Everyone in the room perks up at the sight of the unfamiliar object. Seeun gently places the box on Sieun's lap.

"It's from (Y/N), obviously," Seeun takes off the cover and reveals the beautiful sun necklace you've bought for her. The jewel seemed to shine brightly under the light, and Yoon mutters something about it being the prettiest necklace she has ever seen. "(Y/N) is very... simple. Traditional. Not that it's a bad thing. I meant that... her love isn't anything grand, but that's what make her so appealing. She's my best friend so I can say that." Seen clasps the necklace behind Sieun and admired it. You really did have the best taste in jewelry.

"My point is you don't have to make a song, or tell her a poem to fix all this. Just, you know, be there and say sorry," Seeun sits back down beside Sieun, smiling at her. "She's hurting right now too. I think it would help if you were there." Seeun glances at her own phone, frowning at the realization that you haven't replied to her messages at all.

Sieun touches the sun-shaped jewel resting on her collarbone, and it made her think of you — her very own star, shining down on her when everything gets dark. The one person who she knows will always be there when she needs them, the one person who will love her and care for her unconditionally. She couldn't afford to lose you, your love, your very randomly-timed gifts, your smile, your laugh, and that future that Sieun so badly wanted with you.

"I... I need to go." Sieun doesn't even wait for a reply from her members. She sprints out of the room, barely able to grab the keys to your house as she did so, put on her sneakers in record speed before dashing out of the dorms.

The crisp, cold air hits Sieun's face while she races down the street she knows all too well, but she knew a world without you in her life would be colder, and it would hurt more. Sieun held the sun jewel in her hand while she ran, lungs begging for air and legs begging for a stop but she couldn't. She had to see you. And be with you again.

Everything was about you, and for you. It always will be, for Sieun.

Finally, Sieun comes to a stop at your front porch. The curtains were drawn, but she could faintly see the drama being played on the television and the dim light coming from your kitchen. Sieun hoped it wasn't your mother because she would have too much of an explaining to do. Sieun approaches your front door, puts the key inside the lock and turns the doorknob cautiously.

Sieun steps inside the living room and sees you, her girlfriend, all the more ready to attack her with the remote control for the television. She could laugh, but she was too exhausted from all the running she did. And plus, making eye contact with you after everything she did made her so, so weak.

"(Y/N)..." God, she could barely speak your name.

You dropped the remote control on the couch, "Sieun...?" She missed your voice a lot. Sieun releases a deep breath and settles herself beside you, your warmth immediately getting rid of every fear, doubt, and shame in her head. She rested her head on your shoulder and took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and holding it tightly. She never wants to let go.

Sieun knew she was a work in progress, but she was willing to do anything for you. Whether it be giving up her dreams, or swallowing her pride, or literally running miles just to see you — for your love was worth having more than any of the stars in the universe, and the universes beyond that.

#girl group scenarios #girl group reactions #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group oneshots #stayc oneshots #stayc imagines #stayc scenarios #stayc reactions #stayc x reader #sieun x reader #sieun imagines #sieun reactions #sieun scenarios #sieun oneshots

65 notes · View notes

darkkitty1208 · 4 months

Text

The past few weeks before I finally returned from my unofficial hiatus, I've lost a lot of my motivation to write and anything to do with being part of the fandom as a whole. I contemplated quitting and never returning again, deleting all my works and socials and any other trace of me anyone could find, but I know that it's just the anxiety talking and my brain playing tricks with me due to IRL stress and that logically, I *do* have a place here in the fandom space. So I held back.

Now that I'm here again -- and have been welcomed very warmly by dear friends -- the urge to create has finally come around again and I want to get back into writing. It's just that, god, I feel very rusty. It's been quite a while and I feel like the words have run away from me after not using them for so long. I look into my mostly-abandoned WIPs and I can't find the right way to continue them.

But despite that, I decided to do a bit of the good ol' self-projecting and started a WIP (instead of finishing my old ones, lol). It's not much, but it's something. I felt compelled to share in hopes it would motivate me to write some more. This is all I've got so far, and it is admittedly very rough, but it's getting there.

Here’s the thing: healing isn't linear.

These are words repeated over and over again by those who you wouldn't think ever even had to heal. They're the kind of words that would lose its meaning the more they're said, and have you start wondering if to some people, they ever had any sort of meaning to begin with.

You can never really tell where it starts or where it finishes, or how it happened or if it ever did happen, the same way the flawed five stages of grief could never explain the true act of mourning and the same way your every emotion defies anything your logic could ever tell you.

Sometimes, Stephen finds, some things are just unexplainable like that.

Sometimes, Stephen doesn't think he's capable of healing. Sometimes, especially in nights where every bit of his sanity starts to fall apart and each choking breath would sting as it enters his damned lungs, he thinks he's too far gone to be capable of it at all.

(Sometimes he would sit silently and stare into nothing, thinking about the way nobody would understand that at some point in his life, he wasn't the man he used to be anymore. Sometimes he could feel it, the thing that consumed him, that took away who he was, and the way it would take up every space in his ribcage and burn his insides like acid, the way it would rip apart the space in his chest where his heart used to be. Sometimes he would think about it, and the way that it makes him nothing but an empty shell of a man. Every day that thing would grow inside of him and one day, it might ruin him; as if he isn't already far too broken to begin with.)

But it's here, in the roof of a sentient building he's grown to call his home where various pots are neatly arranged in small shelves, with his trembling fingers digging into rich soil and dirt sticking underneath his fingernails, that he starts to find proof that maybe, he had the capability after all.

It's here that he understands why humans would pick up a trowel and spend so much time getting on their hands and knees to dirty themselves with grimes of dirt.

There's something about the green of the Earth and the smell of her moist dirt in the early mornings, damp from the moon's tears, that soothes a part of him that he couldn't quite identify. There's something comforting about the mindless action of digging and burying and placing and watering. There's something comforting about knowing that his damaged fingers could sprout life even if it all depended on time.

But that's the thing, isn't it? Everything is just a matter of time.

(Sometimes he wishes healing isn't linear, the way he wishes time doesn't march on an ascending line.)

He remembers the same damp smell of moss and the same smudges of dirt on the knees of his trousers back then, the first time he was taught about gardening and farming and sprouting life from seeds.

He had still been a small boy in Nebraska, back then. He had been young, and he had never understood patience the way he does now. He didn't understand that what he planted was something that, if anything, was considered a miracle, and that miracles took time, and that miracles don't last forever. He didn't understand that life and decay is just a matter of time, and that everything including himself would eventually be nothing but rotting flesh and cracked bones, becoming one with the earth and consumed by the maggots and mushrooms.

Because that's the thing: everything is just a matter of time.

The experience had meant nothing to him then, and had taught him nothing much of anything at all, but it means something to him now.

#my writing #wip #ramblings

25 notes · View notes

bardicious · 5 months

Note

Hi friend do you have any Charles/Erik fic recommendations of a gentle variety? I watched the First Class era recently and am just….a lil broken up Re:: the pain of Charles losing his best friend and his sister at the same time… and then bottling up that pain for as long as he could until “you took her away and you left me!”

Okay, nonnie! I've got a few here that may interest you. Now, I'm a big fan of hurt/comfort fics, so I can't promise anything too gentle, unfortunately. 😅 (Most of my bookmarks are hella dark apparently) Anyway! Ill list you some I recently read, and mostly remember.

How Still My Love by Regann

"A mysterious sleeping disease, three loyal guardians, and a friend-turned-foe with unclear motives. It might sound like something out of a fairy tale but it's life after Cuba in the Xavier manor for what's left of the so-called X-Men. When Charles can no longer lead them, it's up to Hank, Alex and Sean to figure out a way to protect their mentor, especially once Erik comes seeking an audience. (Variously nicknamed "the Fairytale Fix-it," "Snow Charles and the Three Wishes," and "Alex feels via Charles/Erik." All three are pretty accurate.)"

This one I highly recommend, it's so cute, and the way the author played with fairy tales is fun. Fair warning tho, Erik doesn't stay at the end of this fic. But Charles' heart is a bit more mended.

Second Chances by justavagrant

This one is a time travel fic. Basically young child age Charles, Raven, and Erik replace their older counterparts. The kids build a close friendship real quick, and I believe it's ongoing.

Another Like Me by Ad_astrah

It's 1950, young Charles is getting his powers under control. He meets Erik, 19 years old, who's tracking down Nazis and killing them. They go on a little adventure together.

Elpis by garrideb

Cute protective Erik, injured Charles. This fic is a treat!

Not Yet by GenuineSnoof

"AU - No Beach Divorce and no bullet, but Erik still didn't stay at the school for good. They have an established "with benefits" relationship."

Cold Hands, Warm Heart by pinkoptics

Cherik fic set in Genosha!

Idiot Control Now by cygnaut

"Hank screws something up in the lab and everyone's powers increase tenfold. Not knowing how to control them like this, they all try to cope and not kill each other by mistake while Hank tries to find a way to reverse the effects. Charles has a particularly hard time of it."

Come Together by blarfkey

Series of fics, from Peter's point of view. Decent amounts of Cherik.

Peter's Stepdad by nzeedee

"Peter takes his time to observe and learn more about Erik as he works up the courage to make a family connection. Soon he realizes that Charles is a valuable asset in Erik's life and they may come as a unified pair."

AND some honorable mentions:

First Class Era:

5 Ways Logan Fixed Everything (Like a Boss) by Starlingthefool

Reverse Polarity by smilebackwards (powerswap fic, can't remember well tho)

What Not To Expect When You're Not Expecting It by thehoyden (mpreg, but if you're not into that, I'm not usually either, I think this one was done in a fun way)

DOFP:

A source of knowledge, a source of hope by redaurorarora

Post/Apocalypse: (these might be my favorite, I'm a sucker for comforting charles after apocalypse)

More by humanveil

things we lost in the fire by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

all the things i thought I knew (I'm learning again) by spacenarwhal

Hope you like these, nonnie! Sorry if they couldn't be more gentle! I do hope they're more satisfying than the end of FC. 💀 I know your pain.

#Bardicious Asks #Anonymous #cherik #cherik recs #cherik fic #first class fic #x men #Between Rage and Serenity #xmen #xmen movieverse #xmen dofp #xmen first class #xmen apocalypse #most of my bookmarks involve SO much pain lmao #so I really went for the ones I mostly remembered #I don't think any of these ended with heartbreak #the first one is cute #I wish I could give more!#if I find new ones Ill add to this post

47 notes · View notes

elliethesuperfruitlover · 4 months

Text

Fu the Family Friend

A/N: happy new year everyone! I started this september/october (i forgor) and found the motivation to finish it up. my lord i cant wait for the archivist model to drop.....

I want to preface this by saying I'm writing this fictional piece of work based off of a fictional character/liver. This does not reflect any sort of reality, nor does this reflect what Fulgur is like irl, etc. etc.

(I'm writing Fuu-chan as Archivist and not Legatus purely for How I Imagine Him purposes. And yes i know this outfit is legatus but just imagine archivist being his large sexy self in a pink shirt and leather pants with his hair pulled back mmk.)

CW: beeg tall man, nerdy talk, oral sex (fem! receiving)

Tag List: @super-unpredictable98, @jozstankovich, @rubberbutt69

Ding Dong

"Welcome Mr. Ovid! It's so good to see you!" you heard from the couch, turning your attention to the front door. Your parents had informed you that there would be a guest coming in to stay in the Air BNB they own for a few weeks, but you had limited reaction to it. The most they'll be is a mild inconvenience for when I need a place to decompress.

"It's good to have a change of scenery. And plus, the more I can learn about different cities, the better I'll be at my job." he spoke smoothly, with a little chuckle at the end of his sentence.

My lord, what a voice he has. You whisper to yourself, standing up to get a closer look.

Peeking from behind the wall, you observe the new person. He's.....oh no he's handsome. He has a tall build, with a dangerously soft looking tummy and long silver hair that's pulled into a ponytail at the back of his head. He has a kind looking face, with stubble matching his hair color. There seems to be a red and black collar around his neck (Oh yeah, they did mention he's a cyborg.) and hands to match.

"Oh, hey there. Didn't notice you at first." he looked up at you (holy fuck, he has pretty eyes too), and went to shake your hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Ovid." you stuttered, his hand warmer than you thought it would be.

"Oh, please call me Fulgur, Mr. Ovid makes me feel old." one of his hands went behind his head to awkwardly scratch his neck, and he looks away.

You nod in agreement and stand to the side as he continues talking to your parents. The way he spoke about his job ("It helps me stay in touch with what I lost, y'know. That way I can look back at everything in the future and not feel this pit of guilt from not knowing or remembering."), how he talked about his dog back home ("Oh, he's a very big boy. But very gentle. Trained and everything." as he shows them pictures of a very large, and very happy looking Caucasian shepherd.), honestly just listening to him talk was enough for you.

"Oh honey, would you show Mr. Ovid his room, we've gotta go handle dinner." your parents shout from the front door, closing it right as you respond.

"Uhh, you can follow me. Your room isn't up 10 flights of stairs or across an ominous bog. It's right to the left." you instruct, pointing in the general upstairs direction.

"So....the right or the left."

"Right to the......okay gotcha. It's to the left." you mutter before mentally facepalming as he walks into the room and sets his bags down. Now that's certainly a way to make a fuckin' impression. Being horrifically unclear. "I'll leave you to get settled, just let me know if you need anything."

You walk back to the couch, sitting in front of the television. Whatever was playing took your focus for all of half a second before drifting to....him. It's been a hot minute since someone actually caught your attention. Even if he is a little...older. It's just by a few years. And for all you know, he could be happily married....or not even-

CRASH

"Uh, you good in there?' you ask, standing in the doorframe to his room.

"Yeah, I was just trying to get the window open and some stuff fell." he chuckled awkwardly and backed away from the wall. Surrounding him were a few books from the shelf above the windowsill, and the window sat half open. Easy fix, you say to yourself before walking over and taking a firm hold on the handle for the latch.

"It's ok. I've accidentally been a little too rough with it before, you just gotta lift it up and pull at the same time. It's all about being gentle." the window slots into place and locks.

Fulgur giggles from behind you, shoulders lightly shaking at the accidental innuendo. Ah, so that's his sense of humor. "I'll have you know that joke was purely incidental. It just slips out sometimes."

"Oh does it?" he replies, breaking out into fuller laughter, wheezing in a kettle like fashion. That deeply entertains you, as how could a man built like that let out such a charming noise as a laugh.

"You like how I laugh?" he stutters out, finally catching his breath. Shit, I said that out loud.

"It's cute. Almost the opposite of what I expected from someone so built." you say, bulking your shoulders up to imitate his form.

"How am I built?" an unreadable glint shines in his eye.

"Like a beefcake. A big British beefcake."

He hums and gets the residual laughs out before putting the books back on the shelf. You sit on the ottoman in the corner of the room and listen to him talk while he gets his travel bags unpacked. He really is an interesting person. From his friends back home (apparently demons, dragons, and aliens do actually exist) to how he talks about his job. Apparently keeping the world's history and books preserved is a much more hard job than you imagined.

"It's difficult, but a very rewarding job. Makes me feel like I'm doing good to help things exist for longer. Let everyone after me observe things just as they were." a small smile appears on his face and you feel a sense of relaxation wash over you. Hmm...he's nice.

"We're back! And brought pizza!" your parents yell from the front door.

Both of your stomachs rumble at the sound of that, and you both head downstairs. The setup is simple. Three pizzas, cheese, pepperoni, and-

"Oh, Hawaiian! I actually enjoy pineapple on pizza." he mutters, gleefully getting a paper plate and starting on his meal.

Dinner flows smoothly up to a point, up until Fulgur takes his jacket off. He revealed his arms, and he put a fist on his chin, listening to your parents talk about their upcoming trip out of town. All you could focus on was his stubble. The line of his neck and his hands... You start wondering what they'd feel like. Holding them in your own. Wrapped around your waist. Maybe even groping you from behind. Lost in your own thoughts, you find that he's been looking at you.

Ah shit. You cough and shake your head of the images of him over you, standing up.

"Let me get your trash." you offer, looking down instead of at him. If you had, you would've noticed a faint dusting of pink across his cheeks, going to his neck and ears when you bend over to get another trash bag. After washing your hands and sitting back down, you two sit in silence for a few more moments, and he almost says something, but is cut off by your parents announcing their departure.

"See you later. You sure you're not coming with us back to the house? Your room and bed are there, y'know?" they humor you, waiting for you at the door.

"I'm good. Just gonna make sure our guest is totally settled in." you reply nonchalantly, almost surprising yourself. Fu-chan turns towards you, a confused look on his face, but you don't notice...again.

You finally settle in front of the TV, Fu-chan joining you on the couch. Silence surrounds the two of you, and a good chunk of time passes before it cuts to a commercial. You stretch from your spot, neglecting your nightly "turn on the porch light" duties, as your parents handled that when they left. Your mind drifts to Fu-chan again. And everything you'd want this archivist to do to you. Your thighs cross and you zone out, shaking your leg. You only come to when Fulgur taps your shoulder, asking you a question.

"You good there? You look like you're distracted. And your leg's shaking...and they're crossed. And you've got your hand between your thighs," he crosses his arms, a smirk settling on his face. He sighs before continuing. "are you thinkin' of me? Because between how you look now and the stretching and you wanting to stay with me to "make sure I get settled in". I can't help but let my mind wander to what you want to get up to."

"And what if I am? Am I not allowed to think about your hands? Or what you look like tied up? How your stubble feels on my neck?" you look directly in his eyes and something in them flickers.

"Oh? So you have been thinking about me." he moves to get on top of you, slotting a leg between your thighs. You shiver at the contact.

"Just kiss me." you internally cheer and scream that it actually worked, and that you're about to have a lot of explaining to do as to why you stayed for the night, as well as the morning at the guest house.

With that, he surges forward and catches your lips with his own. One of his hands moves to the back of your neck, and you melt into the contact. He moans into the kiss and deepens it, letting you onto his lap. The hand that isn't on your neck is holding you still, fingers spread across your ribs. You break away from him and bite the spot where his neck and shoulder meet.

Fu-chan groans at that and does the same with your neck, hair tickling your skin. You grind against his thigh, the sensation of his cynets pressing against you seep into your brain. He sucks a bruise onto your neck and rubs his thumb over it, putting pressure on the spot. You suck in a breath of air, pushing him off you.

"Let's take this upstairs. I don't want my parents complaining about stains on the couch." and with that, you both get up, stumbling a little. The two of you practically run to his room, shedding clothes as soon as he closes the door.

You push him onto the bed and straddle him, dragging your hands along his toned chest and abs. God, his tits. You grope them, gasping at how soft they actually are, despite their appearance. You also pinch one of his nipples, delighting in the way he gasps at the feeling. You continue until he's red in the face, almost embarrassed at how close he was just from one half of his (enormous) chest being fondled.

"Mmm. Let me touch you. Don't wanna finish like this." he whines, gently flipping the two of you.

He takes a wide berth at your body from his position, hands squeezing and caressing along the way. What his fingers skip, his lips follow with kisses, trailing from between your breasts to right where you've been wanting him since he moaned over that damn pineapple pizza. With each descending kiss, your breath quickened, almost to a gasp. It didn't help that he was keeping direct eye contact with you, staring half lidded and full of lust. He gently flips the two of you,

He lightly nips at your thighs, rubbing his stubbly cheeks against the sensitive skin. His arms make their way around your thighs, fingers gently digging into the plush flesh.

"You're so beautiful like this. Gasping. Waiting for me to touch you. Makes me want to take my time just to see you fully come apart." he hums at the end, and settles in between your thighs. He takes a deep breath and groans afterwards, hips canting into the sheets.

Fulgur places a wet, open mouthed kiss to your clothed mound, followed by a much more pointed one, dead on your clit. Your hips involuntarily thrusted up, and his face remained in the same spot, letting you grind against him. He untangled his right arm from your thigh, and began making an outline of your lips with his fingers, teasing around where you wanted them. He gently pushed a knuckle in through your panties and you groaned, desperate for him to take them off. He continued for a few more moments before acquiescing, taking tender care not to yank them off your feet.

"Hmmm, what do we have here?" he whispers, breath tickling your mound. Fulgur gently spread you open with his fingers, smiling in an almost pervish manner when you clenched at nothing. He stuck his tongue out, giving your cunt a wide lick, ending at your clit. He repeated the action before sucking on it, tongue caressing the underside. Your head flops to the side, overcome with the feeling of finally, finally, someone getting it right.

Fulgur seemed to get more enthusiastic about your pleasure, his hips and damn that ass thrusting against the sheets. He was drunk off the feeling of you surrounding him. His eyes were closed and his glasses were foggy and askew. He moaned into you when you thrusted upwards, and when his mouth wasn't busy pleasuring you, it was spitting out praises that left you speechless. "You taste so fucking good." " I bet it feels good, huh." "Let me know how I'm making you feel." "I can't wait til I'm buried in you." Each one more encouraging than the last.

You were almost delirious by the time you noticed he added a second finger, tongue paying special attention to your clit. His fingers were slow at first, scissoring you open, but crooked and sped up to match your hips. You could barely think straight, barely registering the sounds coming from your own mouth. There was a moment where he hit a spot behind your pelvis, while simultaneously sucking on your clit and you yanked his hair, back arched.

"Right there, Fu-chan! Please!" you begged, eyes half open. He doubled down on his efforts, finding the right rhythm between your hips grinding against him and his fingers. You began letting out tiny "ah, ah, ah" noises, and you felt almost ill at the onset of this feeling.

"Don't worry baby, I got you. Just let go." he whispered, before closing his lips around your clit completely, his silver hair spread across your belly. Your body seizes up and you feel an overwhelming burst of pleasure curl in your stomach before it crests, leaving you limp. Fu-chan continues, albeit a bit slower, both his hands and his hips coming to a complete stop once you'd caught your breath.

"You alright there?" you ask, gently carding your fingers through his hair.

"Peachy." he says, moving his head so you can see his flushed face. His glasses remained off balance and his hair stuck to his forehead. The parts of his neck you can see are pink and dotted with the bite you gave him earlier.

After a few minutes of relaxing, he slowly gets up, legs shaky, and grabs the washcloth from the guest bathroom. He cleans your thighs, then your stomach, and you nod off for a moment when he walks back. You both get under the covers, the slight chill from the open window making goosebumps on your skin.

"One more question." he whispers, hands wrapped around your middle, thumb rubbing shapes into your skin.

"Yeah?"

"How do you like your eggs?"

Oh, he better stay here for the next 6 months.

Masterlist

#fulgur ovid x reader #fulgur ovid smut #pls be nice

18 notes · View notes