I've made this post before but it continues to amuse me that jon went to georgie, his relatively amicable ex, for help in a time of great need and vulnerability. and she was the only person he saw for about two months. and he spent those two months wearing her clothes. and yet she is one of the few people that martin was not jealous of at all.

Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.

So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.

Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.

As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”

Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.

It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.

Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.

Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.

But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.

There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.

How to Write Political Intrigue (with book recs)

POLITICAL INTRIGUE! Intrigue in general! What is it?

For the purposes of this post (as well as how it's usually used in the writing/reading community), think: scheming. Plotting. Conspiracies in the shadows, bids for power and survival, secret plans, masterful illusions, all of that stuff.

It could be on any scale that you'd like, from a duel of wits (think Light's and L's game of cat and mouse in Death Note)

...to a large-scale plot involving entire countries and their people (like any espionage networks during any major wars, such as the American Revolutionary War to World War II, and so many more)

...or even medium-sized conflicts (families, like in The Godfather, or smaller national disturbances like the Watergate scandal).

Below are 4 core tips on how you can successfully write (political) intrigue plots:

1. Read + Research

Despite how hard it may sound, it's actually pretty easy to craft a realistic yet thrilling intrigue plot—with so many examples in real life and fiction, you can easily base your plot on an existing one and just change a few things like the characters, setting, and maybe a few plot points.

History and current events are always great places to look to, but here are some books that are chock-full of great politics + intrigue:

Leviathan (Thomas Hobbes): one of the most famous treatises of politics + human nature and their intersection. The book is an in-depth exploration of human nature, government, politics, and all of the root causes of why they exist. While it does take a specific philosophical angle (you might not agree with Hobbes' ideas), they are detailed explanations of how things work + why they are required from one perspective.

48 Laws of Power (Robert Greene): GREAT BOOK for helping you plan out the means by which you want the intrigue to happen. There are lots of simplified rules that tell you why people plan and scheme (e.g. "control the options; get others to play the cards you deal," or "pose as a friend, work as a spy"). There are LOTS of really great small stories of when a rule is applied in real life that are also general plot inspo!

The Godfather (Mario Puzo): very very good, intricate, and more emotional because it deals with the intrigue surrounding families

Joseph Fouché: Portrait of a Politician (Stefan Zweig) (biography): Fouché is absolutely insane. A genius at political intrigue. His life is literally one of the craziest stories of scheming, betrayals, survival, and a general vying for power, especially behind the scenes.

The Prince (Machiavelli): obviously, I can't leave out the original tips + tricks book with explanations of WHY intrigue matters as a means, especially in terms of protecting your power.

Trust Me, I'm Lying (Ryan Holladay): a large part of intrigue plots (you need to cover up the actual game you're playing) is the manipulation of information, creating illusions and spectacles for other people to believe. This book goes in-depth about media manipulation and information wars.

Empire of Pain (Patrick Raden Keefe): takes a rather different angle, through the personal/corporate manipulation of government, as well as how wealth dynasties (especially within families) are established. Remember the opioid crisis? This book explores the generational politics of money and power that led up to that.

Prince of Thorns (Mark Lawrence): Look! Fiction! Anyway, I'm biased because it's one of my favourite works of fiction of all time, but it explores political intrigue not only through an actor participating in it, but through the lens of the common folk. I.e., the consequences all that power play has on the populace due to a lack of actual good governance...

A Song of Ice and Fire (George R. R. Martin): I haven't personally read/watched anything GoT, but it's pretty much obligatory to put this series down in a post about political intrigue. It's famous for doing it well.

2. Plan. Like, meticulously

First of all, decide what scale you want your intrigue to be on: large-scale government/international affairs type, a corporation thing, something between two people, or even within a family? There are so many possibilities.

Intrigue plots are like mysteries; they must be tightly logical to be satisfying. One of the best ways of ensuring this is through analyzing each involved party—the actors.

Each actor has their own motivations, goals, and psychologies. After you establish what they want OUT of their intrigue, think about how they'd go about achieving it: a naturally hot-headed person might try to intimidate their way into getting what they want, or they might learn through the course of the story to cool down a bit.

A naturally imaginative and analytical person might come up with all sorts of scarily genius plans, and near-flawless execution. Of course, they would also react in different ways, depending on personality. Character consistency alone will make your plot seem that much more logical.

However, cracks in logic will happen because humans are inherently imperfect and not always rational. These cracks must be DELIBERATE and realistic and must seem planned out; they can't seem more like the author forgot a detail, or didn't know how to explain something (e.g. something happened and the writer never included the consequence of it because they forgot). It must be clear that it is a flaw on the character's part.

3. Never write intrigue for the sake of the intrigue

The incentive of all scheming comes down to mainly two things: gaining power and keeping it. Of course, you could choose to explore more unusual things, such as characters exercising intrigue to satisfy boredom... (think Light and Ryuk from Death Note).

But, the bids for power, security, and survival can be used to highlight things about human nature. Themes to explore include ambition, sacrifice, the pursuit of happiness, the corruption of character, the preservation of innocence in a cruel system, etc.

4. Explore through a narrow lens

Most intrigue plots are full of complex motivations, characters, goals, and the means they use to achieve said goals.

You should gradually let your intrigue plot unfold through the POV of a few characters, preferably one or two. An omniscient narrator for this type of story is INCREDIBLY difficult to pull off without confusing the reader.

However, more POVs work if you use all of them to focus on ONE or a few intrigue plots only—it can provide a multi-layered effect, exploring the same line of action and consequence through different perspectives. But, if everyone has their own intrigue plot, it's too easy to create a tangled mess where readers can barely delineate one plot from the next.

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

Sorry for the massive hiatus—I have officially started college!! I've been pre-occupied with settling in, classes starting, a social life, extracurriculars etc. etc...life has been super busy, but great :)

I've started working on my books as well as poetry more recently, and I'm glad I'm getting into a new workflow/lifestyle. It certainly is different, but I'm starting to enjoy it.

Anyway, I'm surprised it took me this long to do a post about this topic, considering the fact that it's basically my writergram niche and my entire personality IRL, but I think it was mainly because I was trying to find a good angle to approach this massive topic. But, stay tuned for (probably) a part 2 because there's SO MUCH MORE to cover.

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

The Master And Margarita Jacket

(Matthew Sweet’s Doctor Who version…but with a frisson of Bulgakov’s)

It’s done! With every bit of unphotographical glittery metallic paint that I can’t capture on camera even if my iphone skills weren’t rubbish.

@spoonietimelordy, @rearranging-deck-chairs, @bearinabandana and everyone else who Did The Reading of that one ‘I Am The Master’ novel but I’ve forgotten to tag because i’m so sleep deprived i can’t think any more but hopefully other people will, assemble!

Detailed closeups and explanations (with some spoilers) below:

Starting front top right side (face on). -Margarita herself, biting a mushroom. A more Cockatoo beak than Macaw, with red face instead of white, to make what exactly she is more mysterious. -The Master Who logo here is just gold, any shading didn’t look right when it was so thin.

Front top right pocket. Purple, of course.

-Next section down are these three. The ‘Never Stop Growing’ patch is my second favourite patch of the bunch. So many Master Themes, and plot relevant. -Then the little ‘Best Buds’ with the heart in the middle. I was inordinately proud of that idea. (Buds, budding, bigenerated vibe). -And then ‘Obscene Lotus’. That’s mentioned early in the book, and while it’s just described as a big purplish lotus, there’s so much sexual charging in that scene that, well, you gotta.

Me, reusing the ‘budding’ pun in a different capacity? It’s more likely than you think.

-The cover of the Penguin Clothbound Classic version of the original The Master And Margarita, that took multiple days to complete and so much agony. -The patch is a blank one that I bought, then painted the design to look like one of those stamps people sometimes put in books. Painted the border the same colour, then tea-stained it to look like old paper. Certainly in real life the colour comes out nicely. I couldn’t find his autograph (and sadly there’s an unrelated artist with the same name lol) but he got his doctorate in Wilkie Collins so I just looked up examples of that guy’s writing and tried to give it a bit of that vibe. Hopefully it’s the thought that counts. But hey, if anyone ever meets him and gets me a signature sample I can just redo it.

General mushroom patch - I like the fire kind of vibe and the looming.

To the other side!

So. You’re asking what’s with the daisy theme. Fair. So Margarita is also another name for a daisy in some languages. I choose to lean into that because it’s also the widely known symbol of Three - with that scene where he talks to Jo and recounts how a hermit living on a mountain helped dispel his depression by getting him to focus on the beauty of the flower (“and it was the most daisiest daisy”). Given that Three is essentially a character in the book, this felt like the vibe we’re going for. It’s perennial. It also is a healer of bruises and wounds, how can that not be relevant meta wise too to the Master’s new companion, hm? And okay yes, Mikhail does say he’s not a botanist, but if you can think of another way to get that message across other than botanical illustration page…

I like the patch because lightbulb, idea, full of mushrooms etc.

-‘I Am The Master’ being the name of the book the story is contained in, plus Fun With Identity. -Next the one bit of Real Art that I attempted to copy in glittery acrylics - Magritte’s ‘The Treachery Of Images’ or more commonly known ‘Ceci n’est pas une pipe’. The story not only of the Master’s experiences recently, but the story’s themes of hallucinations and deceptions; as well as being the symbol of Russian!Brigadier. -This patch is great isn’t it? A play on the Master’s apparent alcoholism or Russian blending in as you prefer, and of course, The Lighthouse of Martin!Doctor fame.

-Mikhail’s guitar for playing Brown Sugar and other ominous inference songs. -The formula triangle of Love, Food, and Music (I couldn’t think of a self-evident way to show his approach to food - Russian dumplings are, well, not exactly distinct). On its side so the glittery pink triangle points in a certain direction because he’s escaped places and I can do ominous inferences too Sweet. -Maybe controversial? There is a failed love story component in here though, that I just couldn’t leave unmarked. The Doctor, K’vo, and Jo all have their parts to play in that.

Now for the arms:

Here’s the right-side looking-on arm. -I repainted this mushroom patch to be the orange and green of K’vo’s. -You’ve already seen the long image of it above, so here’s just a snippet closeup of the motif that goes along both arms. Daisies linked in a chain with the words ‘daisiest daisy’ (if you wonder why everything’s outlined by the way, a) i like the style, and b) it makes glitter infinitely more legible and clearer to see if there’s a dark matt border around it breaking it up, especially with something as variable coloured as denim). There’s the sunflower in the middle because Margarita loves her sunflower seeds.

This is the other arm. Margarita holding a margarita in a margarita. What’s more to add? I used my shittest white (mixed with my fabric medium as everything else has been at every step) rather than @yesokayiknow’s excellent suggestion of Liquitex, which has saved me everywhere else, including those light patches. But here shitty kids basics acrylic is translucent enough to do some excellent work pretending to be glass and ice. The parrot patch has been altered to make the beak entirely black and her face red instead of macaw white, to keep her species ambiguous as literary theme demands.

To the back!

This Master Who logo is bigger, so it has the Master’s purple highlights like bruising.

Here is a small UNIT patch I modified to be a Russian one, globe focused on their continent (roughly). Sweet just translated the word ‘unit’ for Russian!Brigadier’s group, and the text is the re-cyrilliced version of that.

Skipping to the bottom…

Here referencing O’s collection of Doctor Information, Sweet adding to that with having distinct scrapbooks. ‘Manuscripts Don’t Burn’ is a line from Bulgakov’s The Master And Margarita (spoken by Satan in fact, mhmm) and became something of a rallying cry for oppressed Russian artists. I have ‘Author Unknown’ for the obvious meta with his and the Doctor’s memories, and likewise, the fact that flames are clearly present and burning lets the viewer come to whatever conclusion they like. #133 was chosen for the simple fact that in my copy of Bulgakov’s novel, and the one depicted on the front of the jacket, it is page 133 which starts the chapter The Hero Enters, where we meet The Master who has renounced all other names (who is very much, as Interference notes, the Doctor). They are glitter paint titles done on Hemline repair patches, black, brown, white, and navy blue. I know anything too painty on that area of the back will risk a lot of wear, and these are easily replaced when necessary (if still hours of lettering).

To the left most side…

This was the most expensive patch I bought, £12. But worth it. The mushroom stalk is silk.

Here I depicted in silhouette the scene of the Master climbing up to the Doctor on the giant mushroom. I chose silhouette so as not to draw the eye too much. I also added some 2ply black-black glitter cotton as part of his climbing equipment, attached on by some silver stitches for the…things I can’t remember the name of. It gives it a bit more 3D effect, but also keeps the thread close enough it shouldn’t pull on anything.

And at its base we have a reference to Mikhail’s chosen middle name. I chose to believe it’s relevant, Sweet’s too deep into this for it not to be. This is a cover I edited to highlight the namesake who actually travelled Russia and collected the tales of this book, and indeed, it does include the story of Koschei The Deathless. I edited the robe to be red instead of its original yellow, and added the quintessential Time Lord collar. But I think it’s perfectly passable. This is iron on transfer paper (dark) onto a very light grey polycotton to turn it into a patch. It…*cough* hasn’t had its edges finished or strictly been attached yet, but that’s a bit of handwork I can do as and when.

So finally back up to the middle

I’ve expanded out @spoonlesss-artbook fantastic angel-winged Margarita’s Master art. The Redbubble bag was only that big as it was (hemmed with bostik fabric glue like a true pro and attached as a panel) so it cut off a little, and it didn’t go the whole way anyway, so now we get some endings of the feathers, some all the way up to the arm of the jacket. I tried to blend it into the fire, one creature of both. And trying to get a multidimensional feel, boundary breaking. And again, very glittery irl so plays very well with the fire theme. It was fun when it came to colour-matching particularly the blue wing at the top, because the glitter gives it a bit of a sheen. I blunted it with a few careful washes of black so it still sparkles but is the right colour in most angles.

The Redbubble edit cuts @spoonietimelordy’s signature, so I copied it from the original and moved it over to the left side in some sparkly silver. Also internet doxxing my real life self on the bottom of the back as my own signature.

Doesn’t look like the sort of thing that would take weeks when you see it all together, but I’m really happy with it. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s shown their brilliant art to me and shared posts about painting all these years, cus it allowed me to absorb stuff and let me come out of the gate swinging! It feels thoroughly addictive. Even if I only know ‘use tiny brush’ for almost everything and glitter metallic is great for hiding sins. (And a ‘Ha!’ in the face of my mother keeping me away from it my whole life because of mess - I never got even a single speck on any clothes that wasn’t this jacket. I could’ve been doing this for years rather than just picking up a brush at the age of thirty-damn-one. But at least I’ve got it now).

And thanks to Matthew Sweet for feeding the worms in my brain too.

TMAGP Thoughts (Spoilers)

I'm an RQ Patreon so I got to hear EP 1 & 2 of Protocol today and I know it'll be a few days for general hype, I need to share my thoughts about a very specific part while it's still fresh in my mind. I'm going to try hard to be articulate about it, but I'm also having a lot of feelings. Spoilers below the cut

On the subject of the program known as Norris. Now, I know that there's no official equation between Norris and Martin Blackwood, but for argument's sake, I'm going to treat them as related. This is also all my own speculation so bear with me.

The first significant sentence we hear Norris say in their reading is "I just couldn't face the thought of the rest of my life never hearing him again." and when I say it knocked the air clean from my lungs, I cannot be exaggerating any less. I immediately burst into tears.

First off, the fact that the reading specifically states the idea of never hearing a loved one's voice again, in a series where voice holds such power, has implications that I can barely even begin to fathom at this moment. And the fact that it is Martin's voice speaking about it must have reason. From what I've gathered in Jonny's writing, there isn't much that can be chalked up to coincidence and I most certainly don't believe that could be the case in something as highly anticipated as Protocol.

Now, as far as we know from the end of Archives, Martin has successfully killed Jon. It's highly likely that Martin is also killed, however, we can still hear him breathing and crying even as the Panopticon collapses around them. It's perfectly reasonable to speculate that Martin somehow survived the aftermath. Meaning, Martin could have very possibly been left to process the insurmountable grief of losing Jon by himself (Which has other themes tying back to his connection with The Lonely that I can't even touch upon)

The reading made by Norris talks about a grieving spouse who is going to some relatively extreme lengths to be reconnected with their husband, Arthur. It appears as though the dearly departed Arthur has somehow come back to the mortal plane. There could be a couple of explanations for this, but I think it could mostly likely be one of two. Either, something is masquerading as Arthur OR Arthur has come back, but has come back wrong.

So here is where things get really sad for me because this is the scenario my mind supplied me with upon gathering all this information:

Martin survives the fall of the Panopticon. Jon is dead. Martin grieves for his lost love. The grief becomes so deep and so all-consuming that Martin becomes desperate to scrounge for any scrap of Jon that could possibly remain. It leads Martin down roads best left untraveled and perhaps, but some miracle or more appropriately a curse, Jon has somehow come back, but, like Arthur, he's come back wrong. Perhaps something with the Eye or the Web or the other fears that possibly looks like Jon, almost certainly sounds like Jon, but is not Jon. And now Martin is left with an impossible choice. To lose himself in the sound of a voice he feared he would never hear again or acknowledge that voice speaks hollow words and silence it to himself permanently.

Anyway, this feels like a bit of a ramble, but I hope it makes enough sense. While a lot of it is speculation, I don't think the fact that it was that particular reading done in that particular voice after those particular events is without some significance. Only time will tell us the truth of what happened. 

Hi, if its convenient can you put me a link to all Bezz vrimes of haterism on Marc. Is he really that insane to go on record like a drunken man

omg i would love to... those videos are so literally iconic and all of this is so funny to me... SO um. like marc absolutely had a hand in crashing bez out really early at valencia 2023, but it didnt get on the broadcast bc the fucking TITLE FIGHT was happening and stuff. like there were other priorities. HOWEVERRRR this reallyyyyy pisses bez off. like a lot. so he fucking shows up to honda hospitality to demand justice or something, maybe get an apology or explanation. i have no idea what he thought would happen tbh, because marc had ALSO crashed out of that race (jorge martin doing stupid shit) and it was his LAST RACE WITH HONDA. so marc is CRYING all over the place and trying to achieve emotional catharsis about closing a major chapter of his life and then bez (A FUCKING VALE CRONY??) shows up and starts literally maybe yelling at him. which i imagine did not impress marc. so he refuses to talk to him! or turns him away idk but SOMETHIN happens that pisses bez off even moreeeee so he goes into his post race briefing just absolutely spitting mad in like. a puffer jacket with a beer literally in his hand. messy.

so he starts YAPPING. calls marc the dirtiest rider in motogp and says marc only got away with it bc hes MARC MARQUEZ and there was a conspiracy from the stewards and the broadcast (um. buddy.) and its makes a bunch of headlines bc vr46/marquez flavored beef keeps the lights on around here. marc says to the media i dont wanna even talk about that person. NEXT. so it goes.

but its not even over! because later that day bez gets WAYY drunker (TOASTED.) and posts up to the ducati garage to celebrate with the championship win with pecco whereupon he steals a microphone from skyitalia and goes around bothering people and dropping little digs at marc the wholeeeee time it is VERY funny. hes like pecco hello how are you today congratulations i WILL beat you next year. did anyone know that marquez made me crash. now lets talk to your GRANDMA ! like its awesome. i watch it when i get sad and imagine the PR guy was locked in a closet somewhere screaming. theres a vid with excellent translation here. homie is on the MOON.

anyways he saw marc on track at testing was a lil annoyed but then he walked most of this back like three days later (i DO think some stories got published saying they physically FOUGHT and there were some made up quotes that were obvs crazy, but i also think my man marco got a taste of the vale/marc media divorce vortex and went runningggggg) which is. also so funny. "i dont care what people think" (cares sooosossoso much)

hilda characters in taskmaster, if this means anything to anyone:

for context, taskmaster is a show hosted by greg davies and pathetic assistant (/creator) alex horne. each series five comedians are made to do pointless and difficult tasks and are awarded points. it ends up being very very funny and very amicably argumentative.

for now, i'll do my classic 5 faves, but i would love to do more like edmund + some ocs!

hilda - starting with the kids, likely winner. i mean she is the main character, but she has those problem-solving skills and unbeatable enthusiastic spirit (which would definitely take a beating in this godawful game). i considered how different the competition might be given that they're kids? but lenny rush recently competed at 14 and he did awesome. hilda would definitely stand up for herself if she thought her score or the task was unfair but she is a good sport all round. most likely to miss the huge hidden-in-plain-sight clues. here to have fun but not fuck around. all the cheerful demeanor of rob beckett. likes to very gently make fun of alex. would never ever give up.

"what you can't take away from me is that i had an absolutely lovely day."

"people say my ADHD means i have shit problem solving skills. no sir!"

frida - nerdiness to rival josh widdicombe. knows the taskmaster's tricks and snoops all around for clues/hidden solutions. genuine competence and competitiveness of someone like sarah kendall, as indignant and argumentative as ed gamble. the one time she doesn't find the hidden alternative answer is when the main pathway is just 'do a really long maths sum to get the code for the lock' and she just gets on with it because she can. tries not to act overly proud of herself but after a particular stressful win she definitely gets up and cheers. argues with other contestants. gets very annoyed by alex and sometimes tells him to shut up.

"the only way i get out of this with any dignity is if i die right now."

[to a small plush vole] "you've got no chutzpah! your organizational skills are lacklustre, and your timekeeping is abysmal."

david - the awkward swagger of james acaster but absolutely 0 of his winning spirit. definitely a fan-favourite pathetic contestant. the show would wear his psyche down so much he would snap and end up begging for points in a total breakdown à la joe wilkinson. gets genuinely cocky after a rare win. gets very stressed out by alex and is very scared of greg. like mae martin, is initially very nonchalant about the tasks, but can become freaked out quickly. not very good at getting points. ashamed of his failures and overjoyed with his successes. most likely to be given a humiliating solo task.

"please don't take it away from me."

"well well well! looks like last in P.E., first in being a legend!"

johanna - total sweetheart, smiling all the time even when she fucks up and loses, much like charlotte ritchie. although she does fuck up and lose considerably less. less nervous though, here to have fun AND fuck around. a sally phillips approach to tasks, meaning chill as fuck, inconspicuously normal contestant, that consistently produces either the most terribly planned OR the most creatively out of pocket and deranged 'solutions', of which back in the studio she has zero explanation for and can only laugh uncontrollably as if it wasn't entirely her idea. this will inevitably win her a lot of points but she will fall short on something like charlotte ritchie's first prize task, in which she brings in all of her bedding, is told 'you can't just pick up stuff from around your house,' and is given last place. this also makes her place her head in her hands and giggle. her attitude carries charlotte's consistent likeness to a children's tv show host. zaniness and well-spoken ramblings of mike wozniak.

"when you have no other ideas, you stick to your bad idea."

"i was excited, there was fire, i'd been told to undermine a vole and i let him have it."

kaisa - will not embarrass herself for love nor money. could not give a fuck about any of you people and simultaneously is incredibly determined to win. would get increasingly distraught with the incompetence of any teammates in an ed gamble outburst. despite this, is a cooperative and hardworking teammate. would spend long periods of time in silent thought before carrying out her plan with no explanation along the way. like james acaster, does not ever say hello to alex, just because she 'doesn't have to.' generally does not like alex. to quote jamali maddix, 'he's a punk. i don't like him.' acts like a rebellious teen in the presence of greg. i have no solid outfit headcanons right now but she would wear what bridget christie wore:

"i've got three sensitivity levels! and i'll be honest, i'm on my top fucking one right now!"

"i knew we were against the clock, and i didn't give a fuck" 

and here is my final test of character - one of the most simple and most telling tasks, from the very first episode:

"eat as much of this watermelon as you can in one minute."

hilda - romesh ranganathan. upon entry of the lab, she wields the watermelon above her head and smashes it into the floor, devouring as much of it as she can. total tunnel vision. she throws up a little at the end. wins the task.

frida - josh widdicombe. enters prepared with a knife, manages to hurriedly cut and eat a portion of the watermelon, with not nearly as much vigor as hilda. is not giving up any dignity for this. 3rd place.

david - frank skinner. was not expecting a whole watermelon. manages to quickly get into the melon but falls short at his eating speed. is clearly trying not to choke. 4th place.

johanna - tim key. no utensils required. cracks it open right there on the table, eating as fast as possible, almost to the same wild and untamed degree as her daughter. is docked points because she sneaks a final bite of watermelon after the minute is up, just because she enjoys it. 2nd place.

kaisa - roisin conarty. was also not expecting a whole watermelon. total lack of urgency in comparison. leaves the room and spends 50 of her 60 seconds retrieving a knife, which she totally could have done beforehand, manages to crack open and eat a total of 9 grams of the watermelon before her time is immediately up. last place. couldnt give a fuck though

thanks for reading guys. if you have anything to add or ask then please do. peace and love

So, about TMAGP Ep 4

Some theories based on this newest episode. Major spoilers under the cut, so please go listen to it first.

I know there have been a lot of popular theories up to this point that Augustus would be Jonah Magnus, and episode 4 puts a lot more evidence out there that would seem to support this idea.

Here's what I thought was relevant to this theory after listening through the episode twice this morning:

Augustus is voiced by an older man who I don't think we've ever heard before, and we've never heard Jonah's actual voice either, since he's using Elias's voice throughout all of TMA as far as I'm aware. He sounded vaguely like Jurgen Leitner to me, although I think this is just on account of the fact that the VAs sound similar and not indicative of them being the same person or being meant to voice the same character (I didn't catch who voiced him in the credits and I couldn't find it online, if you all know please tell me and I'll update this)*

The incident report is a very old document, with a writing style and tone reminiscent of the old statements/letters to Jonah in the early days of the institute. It seems like it'd be right up Jonah's alley.

The episode revolves around a man succumbing to a dark power and eventually dedicating himself to it (the freaky bloodlust violin vs the Eye) and recruiting a younger man, in this case his relative, to serve this violent power (though probably after his death in this case, unlike with Jonah), which has some parallels to Jonah's recruitment of Jon and the rest of the staff in TMA.

We don't know much about the universe of TMAGP yet, but we know there is a Magnus institute that has aldready been linked to Eye-esque characteristics like paranoia, suspicion, (fatal) curiosity, and eyes as of Ep 1. It is possible that Augustus could be a version of Jonah from the TMAGP universe, rather than the same Jonah we dealt with in TMA.

.JMJ error could stand for some combination of Jon, Martin, and Jonah's initials, given that Chester and Norris also have Jon and Martin's voices.

In the TMA finale, Jon, Martin, and Jonah (though I assumed he was dead at that time) were close to where the fears were sucked out of the world and sent somewhere else, and Jon and Martin may also have ended up in the OIAR's computers in some form.

On the other hand, here's some evidence against Jonah being Augustus:

The other Jonah theory I've seen posits that Jonah took over RedCanary's body when they went down to investigate the ruins of the magnus institute, assuming that "canaries should stay above ground" and the gory photo of eyes was meant to represent RedCanary's eyes having been ripped out and presumably replaced with Jonah's. If you interpret things this way, it makes it less likely that Jonah is in the computers, unless you think both TMA Jonah and a hypothetical TMAGP Jonah are both around at the same time, though this theory is also a little shaky itself since it seems to be based on only a couple pieces of evidence so far. I first saw a post about this from @thermodynamic-comedian though that post says she saw other people discussing it, so please lmk if you know any major contributors to this theory and I will add them in here too.**

The fact that, to take over as the Eye's pupil, it was implied that Jon had to actually kill Jonah, and he was seemingly dead as of the TMA finale. Death was usually a very hard line in TMA except for a few avatars of the End and near-deaths where characters lost some of their agency (and/or humanity depending on your interpretation) to become an avatar instead (which Jonah already was), so him being back after seemingly already having been killed off isn't super plausible unless it's revealed that he didn't actually die in the first place.

It seems like there's enough evidence at this point that this theory definitely feels viable, though there is nothing definitive that I'm aware of, and there are some things that point to other explanations.

I personally (this is now entering pure opinion territory, tread lightly) don't love the idea of Augustus being Jonah, because I'd prefer it to be someone or something new to the series or something otherwise more surprising, rather than the same central antagonist as last time. There certainly are ways they could pull this off well, and bringing him back definitely doesn't tarnish the story on its own, especially since he was a pretty great villain with a lot of his character left more or less ambiguous or untouched by TMA, but it still feels a bit like relying on nostalgia for TMA to flesh out TMAGP's plot and conflict, at least to me. However, all the evidence pointing to it being Jonah could be some kind of red herring to specifically mislead past fans of TMA and set up for a later twist, or we could just be running our minds in circles and drawing conclusions that won't turn out to be relevant to TMAGP so early on. Only time will actually tell, and regardless, I'm really eager to see what happens.

* UPDATE: Augustus is voiced by Tim Fearon, thank you to @lokicat5 for finding that out! We haven't heard him before on this podcast, so he could be either Jonah Magnus's original voice, or a new character entirely.

** UPDATE: I found and reblogged what seems to be the original theory that Jonah killed and took over RedCanary, it's by @vertigala and @doomatix, check out their post it's pretty cool.

We Failed the First Black Doctor (Part 2)

After the high of Fugitive of the Judoon ended, the fandom waited for her next appearance. In The Timeless Children, Fugitive appears to help Thirteen. The version we see is of her however actually isn’t her in the flesh, it’s a projection in the Matrix or a hallucination in Thirteen’s mind. Either way, she gives our main character her ‘you can do it’ speech before Thirteen makes her great escape. And that's it. The big showdown was between Thirteen, Dhawan!Master and surprisingly Ko Sharmus who’d give his life to save our main cast making him MVP of the episode. Having Fugitive save the day could’ve given her character a greater role but killing off our First Black Doctor without any explanation of who she was yet definitely would’ve been a terrible idea, so maybe saving her for the Matrix would've been okay. But her backstory was still in a vague place. Whilst the Brendan flashbacks gave us this context and pulled us into the mystery further, wouldn't it have made sense to show us Fugitive in those scenes? We knew she was the Doctor so we could’ve easily put two and two together. Even the Timeless Child reveal itself came across as disappointing to most of the fandom. Technical things aside, making Fugitive the Timeless Child also could've been a way to fully flesh her out and give her more to do in the finale. Running away from Division after they’d kidnapped and experimented on her, taking the form of the Doctor to blend in and help others also exploited like her and being highly skilled in combat for her own protection could've made for some great storytelling and yet…. nothing. Normally in RTD stories the mid-season informs the finale. Dalek showed us a dalek and in the finale… we got Daleks. The Cybermen from Pete’s World returned for Army of Ghosts/Doomsday. The Family of Blood/Human Nature fob returned for Utopia and gave us a three-part finale. The missing planets throughout series 4 would lead us to another major Dalek return in The Stolen earth/Journey’s End. So to copy RTD Who’s format to introduce Fugitive, but not follow through in the finale was very strange and disappointing. With that in mind, I waited for her hopeful return in series 13.

The next time we saw The Fugitive was in Once, Upon Time. The new fam have found themselves trapped in their own timestreams and Thirteen gets a flashback of her past. In there, she sees her reflection and that reflection belongs to the Fugitive. The entire sequence is essentially a Fugitive-era episode. Swarm and Azure were her villains. Karvanista represented by Dan, Lee likely represented by Vinder and likely Gat represented by Yaz were her TARDIS team. Fugitive has a more militaristic approach due to her control by Division but also delivers a decent speech before capturing the Ravagers. She has a calm and controlled presence same as before giving her an interesting dynamic with them. Chaos defeated by order. Once, Upon Time gives us a glimpse of what a Fugitive Doctor episode is or at least could be… and still couldn't commit to it. Thirteen and Fugitive constantly flick back and forth between each other and impressive VFX aside, this was completely unnecessary. We know Fugitive and Thirteen are the same person and that they're both the doctor and yet the episode doesn’t trust the audience enough to let us see the scene carry on without her. The filming of Flux was affected by the pandemic and this is given as the main reason for the flickering but it’s a poor excuse that doesn't hold up. If Jo Martin filmed a fully completed socially distanced take of the Doctor’s lines why did we need Whittaker’s layered over it? Just show us the Martin cut! Again, once Fugitive’s purpose of helping Thirteen was fulfilled, she was gone and the fam moved on. The main Flux storyline continued without her presence. Similarly to Timeless Children, we were teased with a Fugitive appearance that still sidelined her to a cameo role.

In her final appearance, the Fugitive comes back for Power of the Doctor. She’s a hologram… again. Her main role is to save Thirteen… again. She tricks the Cybermen into shooting each other and helps Yaz, giving her one last iconic moment but again, she exists to serve Thirteen's narrative and not her own. A smaller but still interesting part of the scene was her remark about the Master being a ‘rubbish schoolboy’, breadcrumbing us about Fugitive's backstory and her relationships with other characters but this is another question that remains unanswered. Some fans hoped this left a door open for an RTD2 appearance but as Fugitive is a Chibnall character, RTD has no obligation to bring her back so yet again, her fate is still in limbo. There’s some hope as RTD has shown interest in the storyline and has picked it up in a way for the new era but until Jo Martin is on screen again nothing has been confirmed as of yet. The Fugitive Doctor will return instead in a Big Finish audio announced in April 2022. The audio isn’t coming out until 2025.

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Every doctor, especially in nuwho, goes on a journey; an arc designed and crafted for them which ends with their character changed by the time we reach their regeneration. War accepted the consequences of his actions but realised he didn’t have to fight alone. Despite having a single appearance, Day of the Doctor gave his character a purpose, a conflict and resolution perfectly wrapping his incarnation up within 1 hour. The future was something to embrace, not fear. Nine was the oncoming storm, haunted by the destruction of Gallifrey who eventually opened up to companionship again and finally forgave himself. Ten was the self-destructive hero, whose brilliance and intellect would fuel his ego to great heights eventually causing his downfall. Eleven was the imaginary best friend, an old soul in a young body, with darker tendencies who brought a sadness to the character. Twelve was the lecturer, having very philosophical and internal struggles eventually giving his life not out of grand gesture but simply out of kindness. Thirteen, regardless of what you thought of her writing, had her own narrative journey. The lonely woman who fell to earth not knowing her origin but letting it go because she gained a found family instead. But for the Fugitive, who cares? Why should Chibnall bother to give a Black woman’s incarnation a purpose? Wants and needs? Conflicts? A drive? Motivation? Why even bother giving her a placement in the main lineup? Why bother giving your Black characters depth when it's just easier for fans to just say ‘No way there’s racism here, look a Black doctor!’ with no regard, care of concern for how she was treated? Even when you look at how Black characters are written and perceived, it's clear fandoms aren’t willing or ready to take on board nuanced representations of Black characters. Both Thirteen and the fandom were shocked by Fugitive’s gun use, some claiming it reinforced stereotypes of the angry, violent Black woman but actually she subverts it. The Fugitive’s gun was a red herring to trick the Judoon and Gat. She wasn’t going to use it, she just needed them to think she would. This was no different to Eleven threatening to blow up the Dalek’s ship with a jammy dodger. The violence Fugitive used was in self-defence, not out of malice. Her telling Thirteen to shut up was because she threatened the plan by revealing they were both doctors, not just because she was angry for no reason. It’s ironic and also worrying that after portrayal, after portrayal, after portrayal of morally grey nuwho doctors each using violence as the last resort, each angry at rightful injustices, each holding a darkness within, that the incarnation that didn’t claim any lives is the most violent because they exist in a dark skin Black woman’s body. The ‘lack’ in the representation of marginalised people is an issue that's prominent in Chibnall Who. The Fugitive Doctor is a Black woman. The gender-blind approach to Thirteen’s writing already raised a few concerns but for the experiences of Black women specifically, our Blackness isn’t something that can be ignored or represented ‘subtly’. From the long history and list of tropes used to represent us, from the outrage and anger in fandoms towards Black characters and castings, this lived experience has to be acknowledged. Even in the Doctor Who fandom, Martha Jones was the first Black woman to be a companion and she was hated. RTD and co. acknowledging Martha’s Blackness could've helped protect Freema Agyeman from the rampant racism in the fandom. So why would casting a Black woman as the lead this time, specifically a dark skin woman, be approached any differently? In a diverse and ‘progressive’ show why is race ignored? 

When Jodie Whittaker was announced as the first female Doctor she got tribute videos from young girls that congratulated her, went on Children in Need, spoke about representation in interviews and went on the runway. When Michelle Gomez was cast as the first female master, the uniqueness of casting a woman as the Master for the first time was spoken about on Doctor Who’s YouTube channel. When Jo Martin was cast as the first Black woman to play the doctor, the BBC did nothing. The Black cosplayers shouted out were done by Jo Martin alone on her Instagram. The events where those cosplay group photos took place were organised by Black fans and other fans of colour just like they had always been (shoutouts to Black TARDIS and Team #TARBIS at Gally1). This issue goes beyond Chibnall and is about representation in TV/Film itself. If creative teams can’t be bothered to support Black characters, creators or our stories then I won’t accept the breadcrumbs. I’m becoming less impressed with simply having a Black companion or doctor there but how. If they want credit for representing Black characters then simply, they need to do the damn work. I am tired of the Doctor Who fandom giving Chris Chibnall, Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies credit for Black representation they didn’t create and for work they haven't done. Give me a Black character in Who whose arc doesn’t revolve around a white one, who doesn’t go through extreme trauma with no catharsis and isn’t just ‘there’ and then I’ll give full credit where it's due. Only then will I start handing out gold stars for lanes of Black representation being paved. Only then will I start singing praises of anti-racism and allyship. Until then, I’m no longer accepting breadcrumbs as a full meal.

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Part 3 ->

hello, I would love to hear your magnus protocol theories if you have any?

every single one of the following theories are exactly as serious as each other, none of these are jokes at all:

the arg end page on the oiar site saying "all of that was 100% a totally fake training exercise so destroy any evidence you kept or be charged with treason" is such a massive lie <3

the oiar is the new seat of power for the alternate-universe-sorta-beholding. the magnus institute burned down and it simply didn't matter to the dread powers, they just jumped ship and let all their human servants die, which would tie-in to the pitch of protocol being more about systems whereas archives was about personal choices. a single person did manage to burn down the torment nexus institute but it simply didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

lena kelley is alternate jonah magnus's current host

archives 'verse einsamernarr was the one who leaked those statements in 1999 mentioned in mag 68. the timelines don't quite line up, but several time stamps from the usenet forum look rather, shall I say, like they've been affected by exposure to a massive hole in reality that links to a different slightly out of sync universe.

the magnus institute was burned down by a cataclysmically angry mother who realized the extra curricular classes her kid went to was giving them "haunted by ghosts" disease.

gwendolyn bouchard is alternate jonah magnus's current host

hokay one of the arg documents pulled from a floppy disc found at an irl event had a spreadsheet in it written in german with what looks to me like dates and locations of statements (or maybe incident reports...?). I think this might have some clues about the protocol 'verse fear taxonomy, as the notes section of uncorrupted rows seem to have explanations for the events. most of them are "cats lol," but some labels ring bells for me, like "war people / warriors" (slaughter) and "avoid" (lonely), and some don't but are still spooky. "ink" comes up several times, "never again" and "unhappy child" once each. one that took place at a somerset theme park is noted with "mr b," so clearly bonzo himself is also an entity of fear.

lady mowbray is alternate jonah magnus's current host

she's also just a front for funneling money to the great bonzo

I really think that under no circumstances are we going to definitively know what happened to jon and martin from the archives 'verse, but we could definitely see what their alternate selves are up to in this timeline. I've got nothing to back this up but I'd like to see them being evil and doing evil laughs and enacting evil actions.

I shall be real, I have no idea what the deal will be with celia ripley, I just know that it's significant that she's called celia when her alternate self chose that name AND saw a fire ghost woman. here's how agnes montag--[I am shot]

bonzo is alternate jonah magnus's current host

Arya Lady of Harrenhal during the Long Night

At the bottom of my inbox there's an anonymous message from months ago that says “could you do Arya with Nymeria during the long night? Fighting together?”. I haven't replied yet and the reason is that when I think about this scene, the image of GOT 8x03 pops up in my mind. Will Arya fight through the Long Night, sword in hand? I'm not that sure.

Then the other day I came up with this idea that I proposed to you in a survey: “Winterfell falls, the northeners have to escape South, Harrenhal is the main citadel, Arya as lady of Harrenhal during the Long Night”. And I must say I'm surprised with the result. It won "I see where you are coming from, and I like it" with 33% of the votes.

But many, rightly so, have chosen "I'll wait for you to elaborate", so here we are.

A role

So Jon and Dany are the ones with the army and the dragons, Tyrion is the smart one with the experience and Bran is the one with the magical powers (sorry I'm simplifying, just to summarize). It's not hard to imagine that they'll find their place in the White Walkers storyline.

And Arya? Use the valyrian steel sword she doesn't have to slay the undead? Will Jon allow her to be on the front lines? Is Arya really stupid enough to think she can do it?

She will be at most 12/13 years old and the only sword lessons she has received are those of Syrio, she is not a great swordswoman, especially if she has to face adults on a battlefield. The things that the FMs are teaching her don't seem suitable for this kind of situations. I guess she could contribute by warging Nymeria and leading her pack, but if that is the case it wouldn't be necessary for her to be physically there.

Whatever this role is it must be relevant 'cause Martin counted her among the five key characters, one of the first to be created and then decided to waste a lot of ink by telling us about her.

Harrenhal

I start with the assumtion that the Battle for the Dawn will take place in the Riverlands, that it will not be possible to stop the White Walkers at Winterfell and consequently there will be an exodus of people from the North to the South. If you don't agree or you want an explanation about it, you can read my last post: Harrenhal during the Long Night.

And which of the main characters has a strong relationship with Harrenhal?

Thematic connections

The girl has a long and complex relationship with her mother's native land and a strong thematic connection with water that you surely have read about in other metas. Most of the major events in Arya's life take place here.

Not only the Red wedding, meeting Jaqen, the Weasel soup, the separation from Nymeria, but also Mycah's death in which she realizes for the first time that her father is not as powerful as she thinks, that the injustice of the world is deeper than she thought and that especially for the nobles the suffering of the smallfolk is totally irrelevant.

Harrenhal is the castle of which she becomes the ghost. And she really is the ghost of Harrenhal, standing in front of that Heart tree, probably like her late aunt years before, as she hears a voice from the trees reminding her of her real name.

Useful knowledge

Arya knows these lands directly, crosses them, lives them, knows their inhabitants, their opinions and sides in the war. It isn't a theoretical knowledge but a practical one. As Jon Snow recalls "The map is not the land, my father often said".

But it's even more intimate than that because Arya dreams of those lands every night, she sees them through Nymeria's eyes. The wolf is currently the only undisputed ruler in that lawless place. Do you remember the image of Harrenhal tormented by the tremendous howl of the wind and wolves outside the walls?

Arya also knows Harrenhal on all its levels. She physically scrubbed the floors of every floor of every tower and she scoured all the walls in search of an unguarded gate.

She has experienced the classes and roles that exist within the castle and its management. She had to deal with armigers, cooks and blacksmiths. She has worked her way up the chain of command from the humblest of servants to cupbearer and lord's messenger.

Skills and leadership

In the books we see her many times in positions where she is the person who has to make decisions, lead a group, organize little plans.

One of the main themes of her journey is justice, mercy, power and its abuse.

Then there are more or less direct parallels such as the one between Arya and Aegon the unlikely or the list of things that would make Aegon/young Griff a good ruler according to Varys.

Let's see some quotes in the books that tell us about these aspects of the character:

The one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household.

His father used to say that a lord needed to eat with his men, if he hoped to keep them. “Know t

he men who follow you,” she heard him tell Robb once, “and let them know you. Don't ask your men to die for a stranger."

Arya had loved nothing better than to sit at her father's table and listen to them talk. She had loved listening to the men on the benches too; to freeriders tough as leather, courtly knights and bold young squires, grizzled old men-at-arms.

Whenever her father had condemned a man to death, he did the deed himself with Ice, his great sword. “If you would take a man 's life, you owe it to him go look him in the face and hear his last words di lui,” she 'd heard him tell Robb and Jon once.

Can I be lord of a holdfast?

And here I stop because there are many others. If you are interested in this, there are meta only on this topic around tumblr.

An interesting that that connects Ned's teachings and those of the FMs is the concept that power and service are closely related.

Now let's see what FM training consists of: the ability to blend in with people, listen, gather information, learn many languages. We can add her natural ability to make friends and allies of all kinds.

This seems like the perfect package to manage a castle full of frightened people from all over the world (there will be people arriving with Dany as well), from every social class, every side of the war, who have nothing in common but the hope to survive.

Disconnected thoughts and possible parallels

This would be a very poetic situation that completes the parallel with historical Nymeria by placing Arya at the head of a group of refugees fleeing their destroyed home. In addition to giving her the possibility and the power to carry out the reflection on justice in a place that has seen so much injustice.

It's also funny how Lady Whent is introduced with great expectation right into Arya's chapters, where she thinks she can ask for her help. Yet she will never meet the Lady of Harrenhal.

And isn't it funny how she decided to name her direwolf after "some old witch queen in the songs"?

From the Alys Rivers wiki page: In 132 AC during the regency of Aegon III, a number of broken men and predatory outlaws began to gather at Harrenhal under the rule of a sorcerous witch queen. Mmmh interesting… this sound familiar, the Brotherhood without banners?

There is also Sharra, another witch queen of the Riverlands from the Age of Heroes.

Conclusions

In this place where Shagwell the Fool sang about Weasel soup maybe in the future there will be songs about Arya and the ten thousand wolves.

Thanks for reading. Mine doesn't want to be a theory that speaks of the character's endgame, but of its role during the Long Night. Let me know if I've given you something to think about, if I've convinced you, if you have other ideas on what this role might be. Or if you want to write a fanfiction with this plot.

Edit: I just discovered an old thread with a similar topic. I haven't read it yet, but I'll leave it here for the record.

I don't know why, making hal's dad abusive and also the main reason he doesn't feel fear is cuz the guardian removes his ability to feel fear is kinda a disservice to his character, and imo he actually more like a wooby that all

his ability to overcome fear is really interesting on its own and idk man

Lately I feel like they're trying to take away all of Hal's character development and background and I personally find it super unfair and silly, since Hal has an incredible background; but I feel like ever since Hal came back to life and with the 2011 reboot they've been trying to "rewrite" him in a pretty bad way.

There are good and redeemable things, yes; but there are many comics that I have read about him where they try to change his origin story, his motives and especially his relationship with his father.

From the beginning I am not convinced that Martín was an abusive father, and I feel that it does not even completely match the idea that Hal admired him or wanted to be like him.

People do not want to be like their abusers and many times if they want to be like them it is to be able to defend themselves against them, not out of admiration and longing like Hal.

Hal just wanted to connect with his father after losing him, he wanted to feel close to him.

If his father had been an abuser, Hal probably would not have tried so hard to be as much as Martin, and perhaps on more than one occasion he would have let out a comment or in some situation he would have let it be seen that Martin was an abuser, but believe me, those things are noticeable even if you don't say it explicitly, there are very exact phrases or words that let you know that type of information.

The reason they try to explain to us why Hal is not afraid is absurd, not very organic and not very credible.

The reason that Hal cannot feel fear, which was linked to his past with the death of his father, is tragic and traumatic, which gives that depth to the character and allows you to empathize with him, feel a little sorry and be able to understand him better. because there are people who can identify with that.

A traumatic event can fuck up your entire psyche.

But on the other hand, the explanation that a cosmic force came and took away his fear sounds stupid and empty.

But honestly it doesn't surprise me that they do this to Hal, they already did it with his season as "The Spectre" and when it was Parallax, the Parallax thing still bothers me a lot because it literally invalidated all of his feelings, history, bonds, trauma and reduce that whole arc to "It's just that a cosmic parasite took over him and that's why he became evil and got gray hair."

Just don't be surprised that they later remove another super important element from its story development and change it for something emptier.

If we removes all the magical stuff, and just view Daenerys' pregnancy in a more realistic scenario: Given that Daenerys most likely was married off to Drogo not long after starting to have her monthly visitor, aka that she found out that she was pregnant on her 14th(!) birthday, and the mentions of her being slender of frame, alongside "unimportant small" details like what amount of medicinal aid the Dothraki midwives could have done for her in childbirth…. safe to say very high risk for death in childbirth due to her young age and various complications with pregnancy when the mother is that young/her body not mature enough for it?

(about this ask)

That’s true. I pointed out previously that while the characters seem to focus on the tent and what that may have done to Rhaego, Dany was having a miscarriage before she went in, so I don’t think that’s actually the cause of it. It may be her youth, that’s a perfectly reasonable consideration, but I tend to think the description of Rhaego,

which is similar to how other Targs are described in Fire & Blood means, Martin is writing this as a Targ thing, not just about Dany specifically. There’s also this idea that the Targs are part dragon now, that they’ve mingled their blood, but I can’t remember reading much about that, only that, this may be a consequence of some dark, dangerous magic.

I doubt Martin will allow Dany to have a healthy pregnancy for narrative reasons (to represent the incompatibility of her two personas, mother of dragons vs mother of people), but also, he used the Ptolemy dynasty as inspo for the Targs, so if we want to leave magic out of it, physical problems as a result of inbreeding is likely the explanation. It would explain why he’s written more of this in the supplemental books as well.

Sophrine Aulette's Skyrim Encyclopedia (Part 2)

ok i guess i'm not done with this series yet. it may take a while. i keep thinking of new jokes.

Part 1 is here.

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Blades

If you’ve ever met a Blade, no you haven’t (that was a joke, because they’re secretive). The Blades were originally founded as a dragon-slaying organization, but eventually expanded into other areas like bodyguarding and espionage. They got their name from using swords, which generally have blades.

Some notable Blades include:

Caius Cosades, who according to my Nana Sylvie’s memoirs never wore a shirt and drank a lot of skooma

Baurus, a fellow from the end of the 3rd Era who impressively survived the entire Oblivion Crisis

My distant great-aunt Sacha Llervu, Martin Septim’s best friend, who had a knack for closing Oblivion Gates and committing petty crimes

Delphine Fitzhubert, who is sort of my friend, except she’s still cross with me for being polite to some dragons. She’ll come around eventually.

Draugr

A draugr is a person who was alive at some point, but is now an undead sort of thing with a terrible complexion. There are a few different stories about how draugr came to be–many of them worked for dragon priests and became undead so they could keep doing their old jobs forever, and apparently some on Solstheim were cursed because they ate other people. Nasty stuff. Unless you’re Bosmer, I guess.

The good news about draugr is that they’re not terribly bright, as is proven by the fact that they can’t solve the puzzles in Nordic ruins. If you know the voice-projecting Shout like I do, you can just call “Who wants free mead?” from somewhere else in the room, and then sneak by while they’re trying to find the free mead.

Palace of Kings

I’m not allowed in here anymore (see Stormcloaks).

Stormcloaks

The Stormcloaks are a political movement based out of Windhelm, and are led by Ulfric Stormcloak (which is how they got their name). They have some pretty good ideas (make Skyrim independent, stop religious persecution, annoy the Thalmor) and some very bad ones (being horrible to Dunmer and Argonians and anyone who isn’t a Nord, really).

I once met Jarl Ulfric and pointed out some of these bad ideas to him, and he banned me from his palace. There’s gratitude for you.

Talos

You probably know about Talos from the park in Whiterun, where that fellow Heimskr is always shouting about what a good lad he was. There are two main theories about where Talos came from: either he was born in Atmora and moved to Skyrim as a young man to take Dragonborn lessons, or he was born in High Rock and did a lot of complicated political things. My grandparents favor the second explanation, since they’re very patriotic.

Wherever he came from, we know that Talos later went around conquering and uniting any piece of land he came across, and set up what we now know as the Third Empire. Somewhere along the way he changed his name to Tiber Septim, in order to match what the money was called.

Many people believe that after Talos died, he was promoted to a member of the Divines. Just in case any of the Thalmor are reading this, I’m legally required to state that this did not happen and humans can’t become gods, because we simply don’t have the intelligence for it. Unlike the average Thalmor officer.

The Throat of the World

The Throat of the World is the tallest mountain in Skyrim and by extension Tamriel. They might have higher mountains in places like Akavir or Atmora, but no one really bothers about those places. It’s unclear how the TotW got its name, since people’s throats aren’t typically very pointy or covered in snow. My guess is that someone from the Bards’ College thought it up. The only place on the Throat to get a bite to eat is High Hrothgar, the home of the Greybeards. While the monks don’t offer much in the way of conversation, they’re very kindly old men, and won’t shout at you for accidentally falling asleep in their library and drooling on their copy of Songs of the Return.

Some personal ideas I have on the Candela Obscura world outside of the Fairelands:

What are those toponyms? Vastchasm, Otherwere, Fairelands... Is it really called Otherwere or it's just the Fairelander way of calling it? I mean, sure, maybe they were the invaders but is Faireland a government who pushes lightly for a conflict and then plays the victim when the "ennemy" reacts? Because you call yourself FAIR+land and the ennemy OTHER+where (insert meme of Our Bless Land vs Those Barbarous Wastes). Who would call themselves "other"? What is this translation job here? "Over there, i don't really care about them, that's what I call them" "But they actually call themselves "Turnipland"" "Nah, Otherwhere" "Sure, do your thing". I sure smell levels of corruption and propaganda in the Fairelands that are out of this world (get it? out of this world? *pistol fingers*).

As a European (and I guess we're not alone here), "a place built atop the ruins of an ancient fallen civilisation" is just another Tuesday. There are ruins of like 3 civilisations on any given town. It's as vague as it is non-threatening. Feels mysterious but it is actually a pain in the ass to build anything because of patrimony. I personally see the magick part of it all as another layer of difficulty for architects, builders and overall anyone living there. "Ugh, another rift opened and we won't be able to go through this street for the next three weeks". That's probably how they see this magick mystery thing in many countries, useful at times, maybe more dangerous than it's worth, good to have, could do without it, please just let me get home after work, do I really want to work in Bleed containment? The government offers a lifetime pension if you work there for 10 years but will I survive those 10 years? Martin has the best gold for home locks: no more intrusions after dark with Martin's magick locks! (1 year guarantee).

The horrors are the same. That rift opening in your street will cause nightmares on everyone for months after closing it and you still have to go to work. Some people seem to think, well, who doesn't know someone who is affected by bleed after all? Who doesn't hear voices at certain moments of the year? Some people really go alt-right "we have to kill them all" and some others really go all hippy "we have to be friends with them". Some governments have campaigns for their citizens à la "don't feed your gremlins after midnight" for prevention, many governments just pretend nothing happens and let people figure it out themselves. Activists in those countries push for some kind of government responsibility, particularly in cases like when some village has been in trials with the government for decades because a breach let a creature eat all of their children and the survivors are scarred for life.

Because of all this, I personally think in the Fairelands there is a taboo around the horrors and the magick. More than not understanding it, it's mainly that it can't be officially researched or used (hence, private initiatives like EONS or Candela Obscura) and you shouldn't speak about it and people are ashamed of it. The war has been tragic but it has given people a valid explanation for certain (very clearly for the trained eye) bleed scars. "Oh this?? It was a mine" Was it, though? It's light green. Foreigners from countries where this is more commonplace and less taboo find it weird but learn to play along for the social contract. "Is it really worse to be scarred by bleed than by other causes?" they seem to think and then shrug it away.

(13 of) The 15 Fears As Lemon Demon Songs

In order of confidence/how well the songs fit/also just preferred fears.

The Eye - Touch Tone Telephone

The Extinction - Cabinet Man

The Lonely - Amnesia Was Her Name

The Spiral - Sundial

The Web - Spiral of Ants

The Stranger - Nightmare Fuel

The Buried - I Earn My Life

The Flesh - Modify

The Dark - Ancient Aliens(?)

The Hunt - Jaws(?)

The Slaughter - Knife Fight(?)

The Vast - The Ocean(?)

The Desolation - Action Movie Hero Boy(?)

I literally could not find any that fit The End or The Corruption. Explanations and some rambling beneath the cut.

I wanted to do this because I had ideas for a few of them, mainly The Extinction, Eye, Lonely, Spiral, Stranger, and Web. Then I kind of struggled to do the rest. I also typically only listen to Spirit Phone and View Monster, so I was mainly drawing from those two.

The Eye

Touch Tone Telephone - I don't have a good reason for this one. It fits John better than it fits The Eye, but I think you can argue that it fits the need for knowledge and loss of self in that search.

The Extinction

Cabinet Man - I don't think I need to explain this one! Cabinet Man is so similar to Binary, when that guy ate his computer.

Samuel and Rosella - I think this one is a sub-flavor of The Extinction. It's like... ah yes, these old people are convinced that the world is ending. Because of Kids These Days. Not climate change...

Fine - Speaking of climate change! This one is climate change denial, but I think it still fits The Extinction.

The Lonely

I had so many ideas for this one. Not all of them will make it here.

Amnesia Was Her Name - It reminded me a lot of Martin getting stuck in The Lonely in Season 5 and forgetting his name. It's got that sense of disconnection from other people.

It Can Get Lonely In My Mansion - This one fits pretty straightforwardly, because it is... about a guy who is in a huge empty space and feels lonely. The reason I didn't put it as my Final Choice was that it is more Capitalism Horror than Lonely Horror, in my opinion. I do think it fits The Lonely Making You Think That You Are Superior To Others And You Not Hanging Out With Them (I think that came up in Peter Lukas' statement?).

Soft Fuzzy Man - Again, being very literal with this one, it fits well. Some of the ocean vibes in the lyrics (ie. "cold and windy / dark and stormy") remind me of The Lonely's fogginess and Peter Lukas' sailor thing. I'm just going to start listing off lyircs: "can't you see me? / why can't you see me?" "I need to feel like I exist / so please, baby, please, baby, step into the mist." Going off of the lyrics, it fits well, but it just seemed a little too literal.

You're At the Party - I really wanted to use this for The Lonely, but then I decided it fit The Stranger better, but then I found other things that fit The Stranger. This song reminds me of when you are in a very busy/crowded place but feel completely invisible, out of place, and separate from everyone.

A Mask of My Own Face - This is another Lonely/Stranger one to me. You can take it as being around other people but still separating yourself from them, again in the Peter Lukas way.

Stuck - Doesn't really fit, but there is a line about forgetting your name and not having a clear personality.

The Spiral

Sundial - It's a silly nonsense song! The Spiral is the silly nonsense fear (ish). Sundial is a personal favorite Lemon Demon song, so I suppose I also wanted to assign it to a fan-favorite fear.

Eighth Wonder - Honestly, this one might fit better than Sundial, because it is an entity that is actually dangerous that comes off as very silly and playful, much like certain door people.

The Web

Spiral of Ants - I feel like someone is going to kill me for putting this here and not The Corruption or The Spiral, but it is... it is not really Bugs Gross nor is it about going crazy (that much). I think it fits The Web, because it discusses a loss of control over your own life, a lack of awareness over that loss of control, and the sense that you are just acting as a part of a collective as opposed to an individual with free will.

Redesign Your Logo - This was what I initially had for The Web. Going off of the literal words, it does have the repeating "everything's connected," which is pretty Web-y. I also think the general idea of manipulating and controlling people via advertising fits that pretty well.

Stuck - I feel that realizing that you are a character with no free will is pretty Web-related.

The Stranger

Nightmare Fuel - Once again, I feel that I don't need to explain this one. We have creepy clowns, puppets with human hands, mannequins that move, robots with human eyes, monsters made of clay, and a direct mention of the uncanny valley.

You're At The Party - This one is very Something Is Off But You Don't Know What to me and is personally very strongly associated with derealizing, which basically gives everything an uncanny valley feeling.

A Mask of My Own Face - I think this only works if you go by the imagery of someone wearing a mask made of human skin.

The Buried

I Earn My Life - I was initially going to use this for The Web, but then one of the Q&As mentioned that tax offices would totally be places of The Buried, and I figured this fit. Obviously, it fits more with the metaphorical sense of being stuck and having a lot of pressure on you than it does with literally being buried.

The Flesh

All of these seemed like slight stretches, so I had a hard time deciding between them.

Modify - This just felt like the most Body Horror song that I could find, even though it dealt less with the Ew Squishy Meat element of body horror than it did the Meat That Can Be Damaged element of body horror.

Lifetime Achievement Award - This was my initial choice for The Flesh, mainly because of the "even as we speak we're synthesizing blood and organs" in the chorus. It really doesn't fit that well, but that line tends to hit me with the sudden awareness that I am just a bunch of cells making more cells and such. Fleshy.

Nothing Worth Loving Isn't Askew - This one fits because of the "you are muscle, flesh, and bone," at the beginning and the themes of dysmorphia and insecurity about one's body. I just didn't find it particularly horrifying, I suppose. I kind of found it wholesome.

The Dark

We are now getting to fears where I feel that my song choices really didn't fit.

Ancient Aliens - I thought it fit mostly because of the sense of not knowing and the fear of the unknown. Also, the mention of darkness. Also, the mention of eye damage, I guess. Weirdly, a lot of Lemon Demon songs mention eye damage or specifically gouging out your eyes.

The Hunt

Jaws - Look. Spooky shark hunts people. People hunt shark. Shark hunts and eats people. People hunt shark more. Shark is dead. Hurrah!

The Slaughter

Knife Fight - Senseless violence! We'll ignore the tickle fight at the end.

The Vast

The Ocean - I did just pick a song that mentioned the ocean. In my defense, it also mentions not being able to see the horizon and watching the stars, which has been associated with The Vast a bit. By the way, there is another song called Deep In The Ocean, which also doesn't fit that well, though I suppose you could interpret it as being about how insignificant humans are in the grand scheme of things (time-wise).

The Desolation

Action Movie Hero Boy - I think you could argue this for The Slaughter, because both feature senseless violence, but this one touched a bit more on the romanticization of violence/destruction, in my opinion. Fire and explosives. Desolation. Woo.

Angry People - I think this one might fit better with The Slaughter or even The Extinction thematically, but it reminded me of baby Agnes. That was the main reason I picked it. Plus, I feel like The Desolation's people tend to be very passionate about things, and the mention of having sex angrily and eating angrily kind of had that vibe to me.

Others

When He Died - This really fits a good amount of them. I'm getting Stranger, because of the random skulls, Laughing Record, and clown; Lonely, because nobody mourned him and his wife's "voice began to fade to nothing;" Desolation, because of the house fire; and End, because of the foreseen death thing. There is also an apocalypse mention, so... Extinction + The Watcher's Crown.

Man-Made Object - It may or may not have reminded me a little bit of Jonah Magnus.

Pizza Heroes - This has got to be the Breekon and Hope theme song. They always deliver. :)

No Eyed Girl - This one! Thinking about this one in the context of The Magnus Archives actually made me cry. Like. Okay. Hear me out. Let me just straight up post the lyrics, actually. I will ramble and then I will straight up post the lyrics. I am not a huge fan of JohnMartin, however... Like. This song. This song in the context of Episode 200. Especially since the song is about someone falling in love with like... an unknowable being. In the song, the no-eyed girl and the unknowable being are two separate people, but like... this song if Martin was the no-eyed person and John was the being.

Oh, knowing what we know, knowing what we don't know  This is gonna change our world  Feeling how I feel, I'll accept the unreal  If you'd be my no-eyed girl From nowhere mankind can go  There's too much light, blinding white  Your matter tells mine to scatter  It's alright, it's alright From the moment that we met  I've been awake like I've never been awake in all my life  If I spoke your language, I could tell you how I feel  But your language isn't real In every myth, there's a little bit of truth  But I cannot say a thing  I cannot say a thing  Without proof, oh, no Knowing what we know, knowing what we do not know  This is gonna change our world  I might go insane if I learn your full name  If you'd be my no-eyed girl From nowhere mankind can go  There's too much light, blinding white  Emotions, human implosions  It's alright, it's alright Right before the kiss, I noticed something in the air  Molecules existed when there should have been none there  Chemical reactions with the surface of your skin  Some will say my actions let the no-eyed people in And I'd do it all again  And I'd do it all again  And I'd do it all again

I'm still rambling about this song. Like. Hello???

"Knowing what we know, knowing what we don't know. / This is gonna change our world." Like... HELLO? Knowing what they know about the Fears and the Archive and everything about alternate worlds? Not knowing exactly what would happen if they died or attempted to fix the world? But knowing pretty damn well that it sure would change?

Even the idea of being blinded by knowing too much... Jonah Magnus much? Everything going wrong as they kiss? Also just... how sad the last verse sounds...

Help!