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blazestar0525 · 4 months

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To Fix What Silence Has Broken

What would happen if the Mc was given more choices in the DLC?

In other words, what would happen if we actually spoke up and weren't silent the whole time? What if the Mc actually talked back to Carmine and didnt catch Ogerpon? The player has been a puppet and let people do the talking so what if the player actually stood up for themselves?

A/N: Round two of me writing for the DLC! And this is part one of me wanting to rewrite the entire script! But I'll get there later but here's my take on how the DLC should have ended in my opinion. I used gender neutral terms but I do mention the reader has a Shiny Umbreon since because I like Umbreon and I needed a pokemon for this scenario I wanted to write. Also i used the female mc’s name: Juliana But feel free to change it if you want when reading!

The silence was deafening as the sound of the wind was rushing through the canyon like area as the sound of the water could be heard in the background.

And here they were looking straight at Ogerpon, the strong yet adorable pokemon had a small face of determination for an anticipated battle.

But something didnt feel right, no ever since the festival nothing has gone right. They've stood quiet the whole time during Kitakami only really talking with Kieran and letting others talk over them. But now they were seeing the downside of not choosing to talk.

They allowed Carmine to lie, and they let their friendship with Kieran crumble... and for what? Just because they were afraid about talking?! They were fine back in Paldea with speaking with everyone else so what was different now?

Juliana glanced at Kieran, looking defeated but was trying not to show it as they stood with Carmine on the sidelines.

They gripped the charms their necklace in a gentle but tight way to seek some sort of comfort, they never really had any need for jewelry but they had been wearing that necklace ever since the events of Area Zero. It was a gift from Penny, Arven, and Nemona. A friendship necklace if you would to say, it was a simple gold rope chain necklace but what made it unique to them was three little charms on the necklace which represented the people close to their heart. The charms on the necklace was an Eevee charm to represent Penny, A chef hat to represent Arven, a poke ball to represent Nemona, and a sandwich to represent Miraidon/Koraidon.

The silence was broken by Carmine who was the only happy one in the situation, "“Well, this is it,” she says. “It’s time for you to catch Ogerpon.”

The Paldea Champion took a deep breath as the slowly shook their heads. "No..." They stuttered out.

Carmine and Kieran's eyes widen, but Carmine had a more angry reaction. "What?!"

"Do I need to repeat myself? I said, No." The Paldean trainer said as they looked towards Carmine.

Kieran was taken aback, he didnt know if he was more shocked that Juliana denied the chance to catch Ogerpon or that the fact that the Paldean trainer spoke. They haven't spoke since the festival, so it was a bit shocking to hear their voice again and he dare say that he missed hearing their voice.

"There's no point in me catching Ogerpon, besides why would I catch them in the first place?" The trainer said making Carmine fustrated.

"Umm, Hello! Think about it, you can use them in battle and boast about it." Carmine says not realizing that response made the Paldean Trainer more mad.

"When did it become anything about battling?!" Juliana said in a mad tone. They were done with not saying anything, they had to fix their wrongs.

They walked towards Ogerpon and kneeled down to their height, the pokemon tilted their head as the trainer patted their head gently.

"Ogerpon, you've been wronged for so many years, you've been exiled for something you didnt do. I knew the truth, Carmine did too. And instead of making things better, we made it worst and pretend not to know." The trainer started, Carmine wanted to say something for being called out but the trainers shiny Umbreon head butted Carmine's leg making the older female stay silent.

"I did the biggest thing I ever regretted, I stood silent and allowed Carmine to lie to him. We treated him so poorly and made him feel like he was unwanted in the group when that's the last thing I wanted. We made him feel how you felt..." Juliana glanced at Kieran, his face was in disbelief not believing what Juliana was saying.

"Kieran is the one who deserves to be your trainer, not me." Juliana said as they continued on. "Kieran was the one always admiring you and always wanting to meet you, he's waited for years in order to meet you because he understands you. He knows more about you in a deeper perspective. Im only an outsider who came here a few days ago and I only know so little about the legend."

"Most importantly, he's the one who fixed everything." Juliana making the pokemon look towards Kieran curiously. "Sure me and Carmine may have gotten you the masks back but Kieran did so much more. He convinced the town by himself to believe in you, I may have known him for a few days but he doesn't talk to people much but despite that he still went and done it."

"Sure he may felt betrayed, angry, and neglected towards me and Carmine and he might hate us for It which I would understand." They took a breath before continuing. "But he did it in order for you to feel safe in a town you always known and protected. He gave you the ability to not be feared anymore, I didnt do that. Kieran did."

There was a silence that went around the area but Kieran was the most in disbelief hearing Juliana‘s speech. Ogerpon turned to face Kieran as Juliana petted their head.

"Kieran is one of the strongest people I know, he can offer you the safety of a true home along with protection and love." They say, "I can't provide that, not as well as Kieran. Kieran is the better trainer for you so why would I catch you and steal you from the privilege of actually getting what you truly need. Kitakami is your home, and Kieran understand that and you as well. Im from Paldea and it will be wrong of me to take you from Kitakami."

Ogerpon was a bit teary eyed as they stepped towards Kieran, now making up their mind. Kieran was baffled and surprised, they looked towards Juliana who gave him a reassuring smile and a nod. Kieran shakily opened his arms as Ogerpon lightly tackled him into a hug.

Both of them fell down but they were both happy and laughing. Juliana smiles as they stood up and had their hands on their hips. "Now that wasn't so hard... I need to speak more..." They mumbled to themselves as they know they have one more thing to fix.

They stepped towards Kieran and offered them a hand to help him up. Kieran accepted as he stood up, Juliana took a deep breath.

"Im so sorry, Kieran... I never meant for this to go so far. I was scared to speak up and it hurted you. I would understand if you hate me but I was wondering in due time, can we start over and be friends again..?" The Paldea trainer stuttered a tiny bit as they were tackled into a hug by Kieran.

"Im sorry as well, I should have asked you more and talked it out with you then jumping to conclusions. Im sorry." Kieran said softly as the trainer hugged him back.

Ogerpon joined in on the hug pile making the two trainers laugh in joy. But a friendship was now repaired and maybe with due time they'll be more than friends. But all that the Paldean Trainer knew, was that a new charm would be on the necklace they had... a little miniature mask that looked like Ogerpon's mask, and an applin charm to represent Kieran.

#pokemon kieran #pokemon carmine #pokemon dlc #the teal mask #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon ogerpon #pokemon mc #pokemon oneshot #dipplinshipping #kieran x juliana pokemon #kieran x juliana

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snoocupz · 18 days

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okay I'm a sucker for a rare pair and even more for a rare pair ot3...pls propagandize me im very curious :0

Hi! Oh my god, that makes me SO happy! I never expect my little shipart to get this much attention - let alone have people like the ship and wanting me to talk about it!

I wasn't sure whether I want to share my whole headcanons about them getting together yet or not, and decided to instead collect some headcanons about these 3 that I love! So here;

My little collection on Klapolloquill headcanons! 🩷

- Simon and Klavier have briefly been friends before Simon went to jail. Klavier, as a new and young prosecutor, desperately seeked contact in the office and loved Simons style from the start. Dark clothes, an interest for music and an ex bass player - all while still being somewhat of a nerd abour psychology & birds. He had tried to build up an active friendship to him - unfortunately it was cut short due to Simon admitting to murderer and going to jail. (Klavier should feel this pain again in the following years as not only his best friend Daryan, but also brother go to jail).

- Once finally free past Dual Destinies Apollo and Simon build up some sort of friendship thanks to Athena. Quickly they realise they were mistaken about each others characters and after a whole they start to bond on a deeper level due to the trauma they had experienced... mostly because of Apollo losing Clay, and Simon losing Bobby. (Bonus angst points if Claypollo and Blackbright were secretly canon and they bond over the loss of their ex lovers).

- Klapollo starts dating first. Klavier had feelings for Apollo early on after meeting him, but it took a lot of time and change for them to finally get together.

- Klavier, however, is also the one who is self aware about being Polyam. He previously had crushes on more than one person at the same time and once time passes and he builds up the friendship to Simon he wanted to have he eventually starts crushing on him. Hard.

- He confesses his crush to Apollo, fearing the worst. It is a huge insecurity of his and he doesn't get it across without tears and apologies, clarifying how much he loves Apollo as well, just to be... very perplexed about how calmly Apollo takes it. In fact, Apollo starts gently teasing Klavier about his obvious crush. He finds him adorable, blushing when looking at Simon like this. Apollo is ultimately the one who convinces Klavier to ask Simon out.

- Unknowingly Simon has a little crush on Apollo anyways. This young defense attorney shines brighter than any sun, he is smart, pretty, such a gentle and stronger soul than he believes of himself. Simon enjoys himself around the both of them, so endlessly much, and with passing time Simon feels lovable again, after prison and losing Bobby (the only person that made him feel lovable before).

- Eventually all 3 shyly allow themselves to get closer. Especially Klavier with his gigantic crush on Simon can hardly believe it everytime he gets to sit between both of them on the couch. Just having his knee slightly touch Simons makes his head spin and they keep smiling at each other more when passing each other on the prosecutor halls.

- And hey! Who would have thought! They fall in love! Each of them, with one another. And in fact, their ideas of love fit together perfectly. All 3 of them long for nothing more but a calm, domestic lifestyle.

- What that looks like...? Easy. A cozy apartment, many plants, falling asleep cuddling, with one cat and one dog at the side. Breakfast on the balcony as Klavier slurps his vanilla latte, Simon makes them eggs, and Apollo tries to stop Taka from stealing bacon straight from his bagel.

- Mikeko (Apollos cat) adores Simon. No day passes where this cat doesn't chose to sit on his legs or lap. Whenever the cat chooses him, Simon is careful to not move a single inch. May she rest as long as she wants to!

- Taka (Simons hawk) adores Apollo. After being afraid of her for months (sorry, Taka has always been female in my brain LMAO) Apollo realises that she is not only well behaved but also seeks active contact to him. Simon falls even more in love with him when seeing Apollo feed the bird on the balcony and daring to pat her feathery head.

- Vongole (first Kristophs, then Klaviers dog) is the most sweetest girl of girls. Greeting all of them with enthusiasm and DEMANDING to sleep in the bed at all times, she won each of their hearts and can be considered the true Queen of the house!

- However, it can be complicated to cuddle, ESPECIALLY if you are Simon Blackquill, and a living cuddle sized heater. He must always sleep in the middle automatically as Apollo loves to rest his head on his chest while Klavier has the most freeziest hands in the history of forever. And yes, he will randomly warm his hands under Simons shirt at every possible moment.

- Funnily enough, their household works very smoothly together. Apollo cooks at most, but his desk easily looks like it explodes after one use. He keeps leaving things around and forgetting about them. Simon cleans, and he has no issue cleaning after Apollo at times. Klavier is the one to take the dog and plan their dates, and no date has ever been dissapointing, he's fantatsic at planning them!

So at most! This ship is really fluffy and comforting in my eyes, so here are some random thoughts on them! Thanks for listening to me rambling! <3

#ace attorney #aa #apollo justice #klavier gavin #simon blackquill #klapollo #klavquill #justquill #simollo #klapolloquill

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itafushin · 2 years

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Why I think Macaque is extremely BPD coded

Note: This is a breakdown of why I believe Macaque has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and how that shows in his actions and affects how he treats others. I will try my best to properly explain each symptom and how the show writes it into Macaque’s character as a whole. (This will be set up by symptoms and won’t reflect all episodes Macaque appears in, only putting emphasis on season 1 episode 9 and season 2 episode 7 in particular.)

Note: I am a Borderline and this will have some personal experiences reflected in how I deal with my disorder so. With that, let’s begin !!

Favorite Person

This isn’t necessarily a symptom as not every borderline has an fp but it is noted to be an important enough occurrence for it to be a staple of being borderline.

A favorite person is someone incredibly important in a borderline’s life that becomes their constant source of happiness and validation. It’s someone who the borderline goes to for the majority of their attention and heavily relies on that other person to the point where it damages their relationship.

Now you’re probably wondering, ‘What does this have to do with Macaque?’, well I am a firm believer that Wukong was (and still is) Macaque’s favorite person. He is very clearly co-dependent on Wukong and probably has been for centuries. He actively seeks out some sort of response from Wukong as a way to gain his attention. Going as far as messing with the next closest person to the ginger, his successor.

Macaque torments and mocks Wukong constantly because he thrives on negative attention. He may not fully register that it’s negative because it’s attention nonetheless, and it wouldn’t matter if it was positive or not because it has the same effect. With this in mind, you could see him changing the logo on Mk’s jacket as a statement meant to mock Wukong. (Because we know and have seen Macaque be a lot more sneaky with his attacks, he could have easily hidden it but he chose to keep it in the open and the logo even laughs at Wukong.)

He sees Wukong as a hero, someone who is loved widely by others, and this comparison goes hand in hand with Macaque calling him the sun. Something bright that shines upon everything and everyone around them. Mac says these things very bitterly though, despite showing us that he once saw the two as equals.

Because of this, it might be a bit debatable whether Macaque truly hates Wukong or not. Borderlines suffer from extreme emotional dysregulation and tend to amplify their emotions (will elaborate on this further down) so Macaque’s hatred could stem entirely from this dysregulation. But he uses these comparisons as a way to express his emotions without downright saying them, considering it’s safe to assume he sucks at putting his emotions into words. It makes him angry when Wukong doesn’t go all out when they fight, mocking him and lashing out in his anger. To the point where it becomes obsessive, and it’s causing him to spiral into these feelings of anger constantly. (Especially since he’s quick to resolve every problem with a fight)

“C’mon! Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but now you’re afraid of hurting some kid? Pathetic!”

With the heavy reliance borderlines have on their fps, strong instances of jealousy are bound to sprout up and Macaque is a prime example of how that jealousy can affect someone’s actions towards those around them. When he’s introduced, he’s given this light carefree attitude seemingly to make him feel more approachable, at least from Mk’s perspective. When Mk asks him to teach that move he had done to hit the smoke monster, Macaque is quick to say a very backhanded thing that is very obviously meant to be a jab at Mk’s confidence. Both in himself and in Wukong’s teaching. (This could stem from Macaque’s jealousy of Mk, that this kid is who Wukong cares for so deeply and is able to stay on his good side. Unlike Macaque.)

“[...]...I’m sure Monkey king would agree. It’s not like he would want to hold you back.”

This jealousy leads to him projecting his insecurities onto Mk and causes him to have this warped impression of the kid before even meeting him. Macaque constantly mentions how alike Mk is to Wukong, in ways that only Macaque seems to notice. They’re all negative traits that Macaque amplifies or may have completely fabricated, calling him selfish and implying that Mk is going to eventually forget about his friends simply because he’s a hero, just as Wukong did. (It could also be part of the reason why Macaque’s steady target has been Mk). He even goes as far as to try and tell Mk he missed the point of his shadow play, causing Mk genuine confusion because he doesn’t believe he’s anything like how Macaque portrays Wukong. “Other people are going to tell you to be patient, they are slowing you down.”

Now, this can be reaching or something entirely different but you could see Macaque’s bitterness towards Wukong and his insistence that he’s a bad teacher slightly stemming from jealousy as well. We know Wukong isn’t actually a bad teacher, or at least not as bad as Macaque seems to emphasize, but he’s been so bitter that he’s convinced himself that Wukong is much worse than he actually is. And because of this, he tries pushing this mindset onto Mk so he doubts Wukong and leaves him, much like Wukong did to Macaque.

The most obvious thing that actually stood out to me first and was the reason I thought Mac had BPD in the first place was how incredibly personally he took the falling out. He reacted so violently to it that it’s permanently stuck on his mind at all times. The emotions from that moment are so amplified that Macaque is unable to move on, latching onto the events like a lifeline because it’s all he knows. He had dedicated the majority of his new life to getting revenge on Wukong for this falling out because he blames all of it entirely on the latter. There’s a headcanon that LBD may have altered his memories of that event to make him further hate Wukong but I don’t entirely believe that’s true. It’s possible LBD probably did have a little tweaking in his memories but I don’t think she altered anything related to Macaque’s feelings about Wukong because he already did that himself. Macaque sees that day as the day Wukong left him, abandoned him for a surge of power, and planted the idea in his own head that Wukong was being selfish. That Wukong must have left because Mac wasn’t useful anymore and therefore he must not have cared all that much, which makes Macaque an unreliable narrator and he’s shown to be manipulative and choosy with how he phrases things. He sees Wukong as a backstabber who was quick to leave as soon as he became that hero that Macaque equates to being close to Heaven. (see pedestal screenshot)

Macaque let himself become so overwhelmed by that abandonment that he firmly believes Wukong didn’t and probably never cared about him to the same degree that Macaque cared. (Even though it is implied that Wukong did care, the two being inseparable and doing everything together. The two even were equals at some point.) And as much as Macaque makes himself want to hate Wukong, he can’t truly do it because he’s still codependent on the other. He still seeks out Wukong’s attention and still aims to mock him, continuously bringing him up when he speaks with the other members of Mk’s group. He sees himself as someone who was ‘too close’ to Wukong and suffered the consequences of that, despite many of the consequences being forced on him by himself. (All this could be why he is so adamant about telling everyone how much he thinks Wukong sucks. He firmly believes Wukong was entirely in the wrong and he had nothing to do with it and jumps at the opportunity to play the victim card. Even if it means leaving out details that might paint it the other way.)

“What would you like to hear? The hero suddenly remembered his beloved friend the warrior? That they lived happily ever after?”

It's obvious that Macaque still cares so deeply for Wukong to the point where it could even be implied that he wants a happy ending. He wishes for that happy ending, to be able to say Wukong did remember him and did come back. Him constantly talking about this falling out and painting himself as the victim could be his way of saying he wishes it ended differently, could be his way of trying to raise a jumpstart in Wukong. It could be a way for him to try and see if maybe something else will come out of this, that doing the same thing over and over might cause a change of outcome. (Obviously, it doesn’t work because nobody knows what he’s thinking, ever.)

Intense fear of abandonment

This symptom is one that I think Macaque struggles with the most. He does not handle rejection that well and will do anything to avoid it, much like how he’ll do anything to avoid abandonment. He saw Wukong reject him and leave him and decided that he’ll never leave Wukong alone, that he will continue to show up because he will always be Wukong’s shadow. He saw Wukong leaving continuously as an attack on him as a person, immediately internalizing it and believing he was the problem. He makes sure to keep Wukong as close as an arm’s distance so that if Wukong does choose to leave again, Macaque won’t be as hurt by it as he was the first time. It causes him to dwell on the past, not being able to stop. He keeps reliving what happened because he truly believes he needs to accomplish some sort of justice against Wukong for what happened.

Alternatively, Macaque also will do anything to prevent new people from getting too close. When he notices that Mk is starting to grow on him, he starts to withdraw, amplifying his attempts at showing the kid he isn’t worth it. He becomes more and more aggressive throughout season 3, partly because of his rush to get out of lbd’s control but also because he’s slowly beginning to warm up to Mk’s group. (With the way his first initial idea was to try and convince Mk to come with him willingly and when he had done the same thing with Tang.)

He schemes and manipulates the people around him because its in his nature but also to keep their predetermined impression of him stay bad. Macaque hates relying on people, much rather staying and working alone than with others because of the disappointment it usually leads to. He doesn’t know how to properly open up anymore for fear of that other person leaving too.

Unstable relationships

As I’ve mentioned before Macaque’s relationship with Wukong was incredibly unstable. He valued Wukong much more than he valued himself, put Wukong on a pedestal, and idolized him, making him unreachable. But this could also be applied to Macaque’s relationship with Mk.

Macaque trains Mk, genuinely it seems and uses that opportunity to plant things into the kid’s head. Everything goes well before Macaque ultimately betrays him to go against Wukong, that being his ulterior motive the entire time. He continuously goes after Mk, causing the kid distress one after the other all in an attempt to get back at Wukong. Despite this all, Mk’s still willing to give him another chance in season 3 and Macaque doesn’t know how to handle that. (It is shown, or implied at least in season 3, that Macaque ends up showing legitimate care for Mk. He acknowledges that Mk is a good kid on two separate occasions, telling him that he’s happy there’s still “room for potential”.) He just prefers to keep Mk at a distance, despite the fact he seems to wear the title of Mk’s other mentor with pride.

Changes in self-identity and image

“A very, very powerful demon…”

“Since then you’ve had me teaching you! You’re stronger now!”

We all know this man has a ton of confidence, enough that he actively strokes his own ego every time he opens his mouth. His debut shows us how he sees himself as this strong ancient demon (even if he was referring to himself in the third person.) and he sees Mk as ‘stronger’ because he had Macaque teaching him.

Though in the same vein, he also understands that he isn’t as strong as he likes to brag he is. He still needed Wukong’s power to amplify himself before fighting him, again, (and even lbd acknowledges he needed aid and gives him some of her power after so many failed attempts). Macaque is power hungry and thrives on the taste of being powerful, on the thrill that comes from it, but his body can’t handle that power nor does he actually know how to use any of it. It’s part of why he relies more on his shadows and their sneakiness than he does entirely on his power. He’s an illusionist through and through and nothing more, but he keeps pushing himself for more power because he thinks he can handle it. He genuinely believes he can come out of these fights unscathed and winning and that could be the reason why he continues to go after Wukong.

“As the hero’s light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.”

This comparison he has of himself as the moon shows just how alone he truly sees himself. The moon is something that is depicted as being reliant on the sun to shine despite it being alone and far from the sun’s reach. There’s solace in the way the moon rotates around the earth and stays in its own orbit, keeping itself confined to its single path. Sometimes the moon seeks out the sun’s warmth and they do finally come together, they make an eclipse. But the moon is always the one reaching after the sun and Macaque sees himself as constantly in Wukong’s shadow. He sees himself as someone who reached for Wukong and failed, being left behind in the other’s shadow where he truly belongs. He sees Wukong leaving as him losing his purpose, that he couldn’t keep up anymore and now wasn’t someone Wukong could see as an equal.

Macaque sees himself as a warrior, someone who’s a soldier fighting for themself and their own beliefs. He doesn’t think he’s ever capable of being a hero, or ever changing for the better because he pushed himself into this villain role. He’s accepted that he will always be someone’s villain and so he has never actively tried to change (at least not until Mk pushes him to). Even though he actively acknowledges he has things he should talk about, blatantly telling Mk to his face that if he ever did try talking things out they would be there all day. It’s this black and white thinking that keeps him from being better, that keeps him in this endless cycle of manipulation and gaslighting and hurting that he doesn’t ever try to break because he doesn’t see there being a point. He’d rather do anything and everything to get what he wants because just the thought of him doing something right or something different like working with people and helping them makes him scoff.

With how Macaque carries himself and how he seemingly just throws his life around, lbd’s revival of him probably left him with this constant detachment from reality. He constantly feels empty and incorporeal (which could also be from the fact he is. shadows.) He’s scared of death, the idea of merely going back to being non-existent and in chains causes him such full-body stress especially if it’s brought on forcefully by someone’s hands. He’s paranoid, constantly on edge (specifically throughout season 3) because Lbd has his life dangling in front of him and he’s desperate to take it back. Her whispers and chains poke and prob him, keeping him on high alert so much that it becomes a driving force for him to impulsively choose to stop following her orders. Anything to get rid of her.

Inappropriate intense anger

He is repeatedly shown to lose his temper, lashing out at pretty much everyone no matter what they do. He weaponizes Mk’s insecurities against him in anger, threatens his friends to get them to do what he wants, and pushes people into a corner. He’s quick to anger and irritate, especially if he feels he’s starting to lose control over a situation. (Because he is very much a control freak, constantly needing to keep things around him in his control so he can manipulate tier outcomes how he likes.)

All of his anger seems to be misplaced as well. He was so quick to throw all the blame for the falling out on Wukong but never took the time to think about how he could have been wrong too, considering relationships are two-sided. He let this anger fester and alter his once positive view of Wukong and now he just can’t fix it. Macaque’s angrier at the way Wukong left him, feeling more betrayed about that than at the fact that Wukong killed him.

His anger towards Mk is shrouded in insecurities and doubts about himself and Wukong and he feels wronged somehow seeing how much Wukong cares for Mk. Macaque actively tries forcing his mindset onto Mk, trying to worm his way into making the kid see Wukong differently by using his insecurities and doubts against him. He compares Mk to this fabricated impression he has of Wukong and tries to mold Mk into someone he knows Wukong wouldn’t want.

Macaque’s flashback that he gets briefly as Mk lunges toward him shows just how much he hangs onto the past. How much he hangs onto the emotions from that event and how he projects it onto Mk, seeing Wukong in Mk’s place briefly. It’s that same amplified POV that we hear Macaque talk about and Shadow Play shows just how much it shrouds his impression of Mk. Because truthfully, he doesn’t know much about the kid other than the insecurities Mk rambled out to him and that he’s Wukong’s successor. Macaque filled in the remaining gaps with things he took from his initial impression of Wukong and just assumed the two were the same with how close they are. He has no idea where to put all these emotions so he dumps them onto the laps of others to deal with, or to become the targets of.

Final thoughts

Overall, I think Macaque is the biggest bpd-coded character in all of lmk, it’s just right there. In all our faces. He’s an incredibly emotion-driven person, doing things based on how they make him feel rather than if it’s logical. He’s so shrouded in black and white thinking and in his splitting of Wukong that it keeps just a tight grip on his life and he really does need to go to therapy. He needs to learn to move on and actively be better because if this cycle isn’t broken soon he’ll just continue to hurt not only himself but the people around him. Whether he wants to or not.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE I tried really hard to articulate my thoughts and such but I might have repeated some things here and there. I also am a firm believer that Shadow Play is actively just one big bpd episode. Like I wholeheartedly believe that whole episode was Macaque having an episode and in the midst of it, he decides to mess with Mk, only to stop halfway through because he snaps out of it and realizes that Mk is being hard on himself enough. He willingly brings back up bad memories through a retelling just to achieve some sort of I told you so moment with Mk only for it to backfire on him and just make him feel worse. (while also attracting the attention of lbd)

I think it’s such an important episode to Macaque’s character and what comes of him, especially since it opens the gates to why he decides to do the things he does in season 3. It has so many details in it that show just how unreliable Macaque can be as a narrator, especially when he’s having moments like that. It shows how he’s the selfish one, not Wukong, and how he let something like this mold him into something so unrecognizable from his past self. All because he was filled with rage and betrayal. It’s easier to fight and hate each other than it is for Macaque to apologize for whatever he may have done and amend. It’s easier being the villain to everyone and being hated rather than owning up to your mistakes and trying to be better. He finds comfort in his black and white thinking, finds comfort in how the others hate him, and actively avoids fighting him.

ALSO THIS.

THE PARALLELS !!! It’s a moment where things finally actively dawn on Wukong and he’s suddenly in Macaque’s place, their roles reversed. Macaque being the one who has the upper hand, finding that “power beyond comprehension” and leaving Wukong behind. In reference to their relationship, it could be seen as the moment Macaque finally gets Wukong to understand how he felt when the latter left, how he felt being left behind. He finally makes Wukong feel how he felt, that same desperation at watching the other’s back being turned. But Macaque’s is tainted, being forced onto him, and is actively eating away at his body. It’s reflectively of how Macaque remembers it but it isn’t the exact same.

#🏮#lmk macaque #lego monkie kid #lmk wukong #lmk season 3 spoilers #kinda idk if it counts as spoilers per say ???#lego monkie kid mk #lego monkie kid sun wukong #character analysis #ive been holding this in for months at this point its crazy #ill cry if none of this makes sense deadass #but i wholeheartedly believe macaque has bpd and is very actively not doing anything but spiraling #like hes so manipulative and shrouded by his own emotions that everyone else has to deal with the things /he/ makes himself feel #everything provokes him and irritates him but he doesnt ever try anything productive to fix it other than fight because thats all he knows #it makes me a little upset how much the fandom woobifies him because hes so complex and noone seems to understand that hes not. an angel #hes just as in the wrong as wukong is. if not MORE in the wrong because of all the shit he did mk #i can go on and on about this istg #i also didnt include much from season 3 because it touches more on macaque's dynamic with lbd and i feel like thats a whole different topic #for another time #i hope yall have fun with this #i love shadow play and macaque's debut so much for these exact reasons #they are the reasons i am a borderline macaque truther #also because im a fictive but #and macaque is a little TOO much like me #but yeah #TAKE THIS OUT OF MY HANDS #six eared macaque #lego monkie kid macaque #long post #bpd

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snowbellewells · 6 months

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Self Promo Sunday: "I Put A Spell On You (Because You're Mine)"

This mini-MC really belongs more with the October/spooky postings probably, but I wanted to get it in before I started with my November and Thanksgiving re-runs. I've always been pleased with how this late season 4 canon divergent fic turned out, and I'm trying to gain it a little more love and a few more eyes to see it. It was written right after the 4b episode "Sympathy for the DeVil" (so 4x17? 4x18?) and picks up pretty much where that episode left off. My idea for how the Darkness would lure Emma, and even how it would manifest, was way different than the way the show took it, so this is now definitely canon divergent from that point. If you read this again, or if you're seeing it for the first time, I hope you'll enjoy!

Summary: He's been watching the changes for weeks now, worrying about her well-being and the demons she's fighting... When it all goes crazy, will he be able to help her step back from the brink? (A 4B chaptered story, taking off somewhere near 4x18, and carrying on from there. CS, obviously and all the way)

***Also available from the beginning on AO3 or ff.net, if either of those are your preference...***

by: @snowbellewells

i. darkness creeps in

The deepening purplish circles under her eyes have been growing ever more pronounced, worrying him for weeks now. She is both anxious and jittery, yet bone-weary and weighed down by the cares upon her shoulders. Emma Swan surely thinks that she has hidden her stress and fatigue well, but to one who knows her (and he does know her – as well as she will allow anyone to) the strain is beginning to show.

When they part ways at night now, she tilts her face up to his, grinning a warm, secretive smile and awaiting his gentle kiss, and he tucks her hair behind her ear, cradles her cheek in his hand, profoundly happy to steal a few moments alone with her. Yet, he also finds himself near to biting a hole in his tongue to keep back his words of caution for her, his fear that she is pushing herself too hard, too far, too soon. He cannot risk driving a wedge between them or making her run – not now. She is already keeping her distance from her parents, no longer staying with them in the loft. He has gone back to his ship since the Jolly’s return to him, and so has offered her the use of his room at Granny’s – paid for the month in doubloons that the old woman bit to check for authenticity, then grinned conspiratorially, accepted, and ferretted away in some hidden pocket of her skirts. However, he wonders if Emma paces the floor all night, or haunts the library seeking answers with an equally sleepless Belle, or simply drives aimlessly for hours; whatever it is she does, he can plainly see that she is not resting.

Killian Jones is not a man afraid of much on this wide earth’s surface, but Emma turning her back on him now and walking away is a haunting phantasm that never truly leaves his mind. And it is no longer simply the pain he knows he will feel, but the fact that she needs his support more than ever. He is more afraid for her safety and her sanity than he has ever been, and he does not know what method to try.

Those worries and fears all come to a head as he skids to the edge of the cliff face, behind a stunned, crushed-looking Mary Margaret and David, where he can clearly see Emma and Henry clinging tightly to one another frantically; panting, near tears, and much too close to the drop-off, but at first glance seeming whole and unharmed. He does not know where the rotten banshee who tried taking Henry has gotten to, has missed the entire showdown due to what he knows must have been Gold’s trickery and machination with the shell and Henry’s voice. He wanted to be there and have his Swan’s back, but he feels intense relief to see that she seems to have done just fine on her own.

A rush of air brushes along his skin as Regina charges up behind him, nearly bowling them all over as she calls out her son’s name in a voice harsh with desperation, clearly having been slowed by a similar deception to the one which fooled him. Killian merely steps back so that she can see her boy has been saved and reach him.

It is only as Regina falls to her knees on Henry’s other side, pulls him into her arms, and Emma shifts back slightly, that he is hit by a jolt of fear upon getting a good first look at her face. The reddened irritation beneath her lovely eyes has taken on an even more pronounced hue, making her look angry and more than a bit unhinged. He takes a weak step forward, wishing to soothe, to comfort…but then she leans to peer over the edge. Killian realizes in a flash that Cruella must have gone off the precipice, that the villainess is truly finished, no longer a threat. However, he is frozen in place, a chill of foreboding running down his spine, when Emma turns in his direction once more.

Her gaze is unfocused, not resting on any of them, but turned inward as if contemplating what she thinks of Cruella’s demise. Killian’s heart does not truly splinter until he sees a small, ill-suited little grin of satisfaction sneak over Emma’s lips…almost as if she is pleased with what she has done.

And he knows. Knows with the sinking certainty of one who has crawled back out of the pit and still clearly remembers the darkness’ pull, that something inside of his beautiful Emma has turned. A bit of his Savior’s shining, bright light has gone out.

Tagging a few who might enjoy: @searchingwardrobes @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi @jrob64 @apiratewhopines @hollyethecurious @artistic-writer @winterbaby89 @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @resident-of-storybrooke @scientificapricot @tomeandflickcorner @ohmakemeahercules @stahlop @anmylica @justanother-unluckysoul @sotangledupinit @booksteaandtoomuchtv @xsajx @lfh1226-linda @jonesfandomfanatic @motherkatereloyshipper @eastwesthomeisbest @xarandomdreamx @kazoosandfannypacks @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @tiganasummertree @optomisticgirl @elizabeethan @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @drowned-dreamer @goforlaunchcee @shireness-says @ineffablecolors

#self promo sunday #cs ff #ouat canon divergent 4b ff #i put a spell on you (because you're mine)#cs five shot #cs post ep canon divergence

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yelena-bellova · 9 months

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Congrats on 5k! I remember I discovered you through Don’t Be Afraid and loved it despite never having watched the Star Wars sequels. Then I found Twenty Years Later and I loved it despite never watching TLOU at that point. And you introduced me to that and Ted Lasso through this blog so I will always be thankful to you for that ❤️

So can you do a top 5 of your favorite moments you wrote for any of your fics? (DBA, TYL, or any of your others) Whether be because you thought it was one of your strongest moments as a writer, you had fun writing it, or because of how meaningful it was for the characters. Thank you and again, congrats!

GIRL. YOU’RE SO KIND 🥹💖 THANKS FOR STICKING WITH!!

I also love this question and am now questioning everything I’ve ever written haha.

1: Twenty Years Later - all of chapter 12. There was so much pressure riding on it (from me and from some lovingly impatient anons lol) because it was going to tie so much of Joel and Rosebud’s story together. I labored over it a long time and was really proud of how it turned out. I love that part of TLOU, how everything was normal one moment and then it’s absolute chaos the next. Plus, I got to plant lots of fun little angsty surprises like Joel planning on proposing to Rosebud, Sarah calling Rose ‘mom,’ etc. which is always fun!

2: Don’t Be Afraid - Kylo and Y/n’s Endor fight. I’d been looking forward to writing that scene for at least a year and gah, it felt so great to finally create it. In that scene, they stopped being enemies on either side of the fight, they were siblings again. Even though they have their reunion a few chapters later, that to me is when they really become brother and sister again. Getting to let Y/n release all of her rage and heartbreak over Ben abandoning her was so much fun.

3: Twenty Years Later - Joel and Rose’s hospital shootout. THIS scene…my gosh, it drained me but I’m still so proud of it. I could see the whole thing very visually in my head and worked really hard to translate it verbally. I wanted to cut back and forth between the two of them and highlight the contrast between their emotions. Joel goes blank essentially, he’s used to killing and determined to reach Ellie. Rose on the other hand is a wreck, because she hates this side of her. She hates taking lives but she’s got that maternal love for Ellie that means she’ll do anything for her, even if it breaks her. And when Joel and Rose meet in the hall? I loved writing that little bit where there’s a comparison between what they would have been if there were no Cordyceps vs. where they currently are. The whole thing was a mammoth of a chapter, but I’m really happy with how it turned out.

4: Don’t Be Afraid - Kylo and Y/n communicating through the Force. This was a really fun touch to put in the series because as much as it’s centered around Poe and Y/n, it’s almost equally about Ben and Y/n. I wanted to build the frame work for the two of them reconciling but also show that these two people are so bonded through the Force that they can’t help but seek each other out. Even if they hate each other (which let’s be real, they never fully did) they need one another because there’s still mutual trust and understanding. It was a really fun relationship to write and I’m looking forward to show more of them in Freedom to Last!

5: Heartfirst - Jamie and Y/n’s hallway hug. Super simple moment, but it’s a pivotal moment for the two of them and it shows that the relationship is changing. I’d been looking forward to writing that itty bitty scene for a long time 🌈

amelia’s 5k celebration

#this is also in random order because i’m horrible at ranking lol #amelia’s 5k celebration

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singularbluethread · 9 months

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Omg idk why I feel the urge to post this PUBLICLY. Neither my bf or ...!!!! That guy!!! read my Tumblr.

But omg over last winter I end up falling in love with a friend I've known for a few years (when I met him I felt an instant connection, but nothing developed bc we didn't see each other much and I wasn't thinking of it in that way). I'm still in the same relationship ove been in for the past 6ish years (SO crazy to think about.... 6 years is a long time!! I don't think I've changed much over the years, but I have developed a lot more) so obviously I couldn't really do anything about it (the feelings ARE mutual tho!!!!) and it turned into a big ugly tangly mess.

I knew right away that the way I felt for That Guy was very different from how I felt from my bf, but idk how much that even matters. I hardcore committed to my bf from the very beginning (even though I genuinely didn't care that much for him at first) bc I've always wanted to just be in ONE relationship for my entire life. Silly but it's worked so far (kinda)

Omg I just. I'm gonna skip a bunch of stuff because I WOULD actually feel weird if either of them found and read this (way more likely for one than the other). But anyways like. I waffled and tried to figure out for like 4 months whether or not I could stomach the idea of throwing away my relationship of 6 years that I wasn't (still am not) very happy in (for a multitude of reasons, some kf them very confusing to me) and then my friend went CRAZY. He's still not back to normal and it's just been a terrible roller coaster for anyone who is involved (but mainly for me/his roommates and him; I feel like I bear the brunt of it all)

I don't judge him for having a mental breakdown in the first place; he's always been weird and unusual and sensitive (and wonderful). But I do feel so upset over how he refuses to seek professional help, even after being involuntarily committed to the psych ward, even after being confronted about things he's said or done that were incredibly erratic and unlike him, and even after being told by literally everyone in his life that he isn't himself and that he should get some good help. His eye is a wreck today because he messed with it, and I wanted to help him take care of it because I love him and worry about him, but he blocked me on my methods of communication with him (a common repeating pattern with him... I think he feels heartsick over the way I won't rush a break up with my bf for him, but how can I do that!?!?)

It's just such a crappy and disturbing situation and I KNOW it's my fault. The whole thing amounts to an emotional affair for me, but I don't know how to get out of it. There's so much to it that I wanna get out of my system but it's like 6:30am over here and I NEED to go to sleep soon. But yeah. My fault and I literally feel so horrible about this whole thing because I am a SINNERRRR and it all could've been avoided I think??? I don't know. It's not like I was wrong to have feelings. It's just everything I did after. I should've cut off the friendship once I realized how down bad and how in love I was with my friend. But I didn't and now this mess is hideous and ugly and soooo painful and confusing.

And now of course at this point, I feel like I CANNOT leave the situation because I'd worry myself sick, wondering if my friend would be okay if I was gone from his life. Everything seems so fragile and delicate. I'd be hurt if I cut our friendship off, but I could be strong enough if I knew it WAS the right thing to help him. It'd be the worst thing ever but like... at this point... I can't be with him. He's too volatile and unpredictable and!!! I'm scared of whatever is wrong with him!!! He is not "leave your safe and secure relationship" material... but there is no way to communicate that to him now. He has to heal. I'm afraid of making everything worse by existing and not giving him what he wants (me!) because I haven't come yet to the conclusion that I should end my current relationship

Anyways....

Weird but I think I'll get better about it all if I jsut Start typing my feelings about the whole thing out 💀 I've just been laying in bed crying about it all instead of falling asleep LMFAO

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speechless-stuff · 11 months

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Growing Up In A Broken Home

Having a broken family hurts, but regardless, everybody must rely on one another for support and understanding. Sometimes it's difficult, but when you love someone, your compassion bestows you with generosity. There were six of us in my family. My mom, dad, 2 sisters, 1 brother and then me. We were living well, happily and without problems and that’s the only thing that everyone around us knows, hence, they don't know is that our family is going through something. Let me disclose what really happened in our family so you’ll know the truth.

I was only five years old that day and the one who followed me was three years old and the youngest girl was only one year old when my mother started to change, she was always fighting with dad and she always told dad that she didn't want that he wanted to divorce but of course dad didn't want to agree because he wanted our family to be whole but my mother insisted on what she wanted so she made a way to divorce.

My mother used to be a manicurist, and I remember when she was cleaning the man’s nail. My siblings and I were together that day and while mom was doing her job, I felt like something was wrong, and that day was when our family relationship started to break up. Mom often leaves the house but we are always with her wherever she goes. She had been seeing the man whose nails she cleaned. We were coming home in the afternoon and dad was already at home waiting for us. He always asked us where we went and we always tend to say it was only to mom's friend even though the truth was sometimes more deeper, I was afraid to report that day because Mom would scold me if I had told the truth to Dad.

Weeks and months had passed, mom continued to cheat on dad until it reached the point where mom left dad, and mom left without saying goodbye, leaving my two sisters and I behind only at school. Then after that I never saw them again. A few hours later dad came to the school and asked me where my mom and my sisters were, but I only cried and at the same time hugged dad and I told him everything I knew because I couldn't bear to see them anymore dad is struggling. The only thing I didn’t understand was the reason why mom did that to dad even though dad has doing everything to make our life happy and healthy.

But I know you are wondering why there seems to be something wrong because nothing was mentioned about my brother because he is the son of another man. Unfortunately, he couldn’t live in this world. Actually, I also had a second and third sister. To be honest, they are mom's children with another man and I am the only child of mom and dad, but because dad loves mom so much, he adopted my two siblings and made dad use his last name even though they are not his children. And that's where the real story of our happy family ends, and why we are like this today .

I honestly don't know why those things happened to us, the things that I had seen in front of my eyes. Perhaps I had it so that I would know right away the things that I should not imitate and to I become aware of the reality of life. What happened to us proved to me that there is no perfect life in this world we live in. Even if we all do it if the person doesn't know how to be content, all your suffering and all your sacrifices for that person will be ignored, so we must learn not to give everything, we must also live for ourselves.

I learn from a young age that people are often insensitive, as most people don’t care about what’s going on at our home and often don’t acknowledge it if they don’t see it. Though I am not seeking any pity, a little consideration goes a long way. No one will ever know what happened to someone if they don’t have something on them.

Living like this feels like I am isolated and different from the rest of the world. Being so distant to a parent or a sibling often pressures me into feeling like I need to deal with it by myself. Why? Because it’s embarrassing. Feels like I am the only one with a family who can’t seem to get along. It’s embarrassing because while everyone gets picked up by their parents, I don’t have any way hit to ride a public transport.

It hurts because sometimes its different to understand why am I going through all this. Why I have to suffer while everyone else is so seemingly happy with their families. I often with the same thing when other families get along so well. But I’m sure that everything is not my fault, even if its difficult. It’s difficult to accept that it’s not my fault. A spiraling mind with endless thoughts and loneliness with no escape often leads to self-blame and guilt; the feeling that my birth was a burden and the cause of this whole mess. But I learn to accept that it’s not my fault, gradually and that I shouldn’t take responsibility for other people’s actions.

Most holidays pretty much suck. Especially everytime I see my friend online posting their picture online with their families. Christmas has never been good to me. I have heard my friends’ families travelling overseas just to be with their extended relatives. It’s great to see and at the same time, I’m jealous to have the kind of and I just long to be part of a family willing to go to such places just to be with each other on vacations.

I dread parent-teacher-conference. It gives me anxiety because I don’t want my teachers to call my family; I don’t want my teachers to know of my situation. I hate every other event that requires a parent present, and it makes me crazy jealous when I see other parents who care enough to make such an effort with their children.

That being said, while it does suck to come from a broken family, I have learned many things. I learned to how endure hardships and persist in the face of adversity. I learned to face and deal with embarrassment. I was also able to gain a unique sense of compassion and empathy. I know how to mistreat someone because I am aware that we all have different struggles to get through. With the experiences, I was able to establish strong bonds between my friends. Moreover, when I finally get the opportunity to build my own family, I know I’ll do whatever it takes to uphold a happy and supporting household

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chaoswithinstars · 3 years

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fallen from grace [Tomioka G.]

CW: blood, biting, demon!reader, dom!reader

When you were turned into a demon, Giyuu was certain you would be like the rest of them. He had no hope and was fully prepared to take your life, to end your suffering as a bloodthirsty animal but you ran, faster and stronger because of your human blood still racing through your veins. He searched for you, interrogated other demons for years until he stopped seeing the point. Giyuu tried so hard not to think of you, pushing his memories of your time together into the furthest reaches of his mind until he met the siblings, seen the girl protect her human brother. That tiny flame of hope Giyuu tucked away in his soul became a wildfire and all thoughts of you came rushing back along with heartbreaking yearning for your gentle touch.

He started searching once again, efforts tripled until he finally found you. He found you at a lakeside, sitting on a mossy rock and humming a familiar tune. You looked like a goddess, framed by idyllic forest and the fireflies dancing in the night. You didn't change much. Your hair was longer, tips crimson, your eyes were no longer that brilliant shade you loved the most as a human but you were still all soft curves and gentle smiles. You looked at him as if he was all that you've been waiting for, like he was the one who ran away.

Giyuu has always been a good man. Silent, strong and smart, talented with a sword. He was admirable but somewhat oblivious to how other people perceived him. Not to you though. With you, he couldn't hide himself, shove back his desires and darkest thoughts. With you, Giyuu let himself sink into depravity. Maybe it was your demon nature or maybe it was because he remembered you from before- bright smiles, silver tongue and strength hidden beneath a fluffy exterior. Giyuu didn't know nor did he particularly care. Especially now that he has finally found you.

"You're beautiful." Giyuu didn't know what prompted him to break the silence nor why those were the first words to come from his mouth. He was enchanted by your appearance, by your graceful movements as you beckoned him closer. You were still humming that alluring tune, voice so lovely that it resonated somewhere deep in his soul, settling down what little urge to kill you he had.

Maybe it's your presence, that enchanting voice or the alluring scents of nature (of you) that made Giyuu drop all of his walls down. After all, most of his life has been spent in search of you and now that he found you… Why couldn't he let himself enjoy this moment of happiness, a moment so rare in the life of a demon slayer? Giyuu reached out towards you and you took Giyuu's hands in yours, pulling him closer and into your embrace. His lovely blue eyes traced each part of your face, memorizing that which he was already familiar with from a lifetime before. Giyuu was warm in your arms, sinking against your body like a doll whose strings were cut off. You smiled, lips framing your sharp teeth.

"And you're looking as tasty as ever, slayer." Your words made Giyuu's thoughts swim, disconnected. He could not think of anything else but you, making you happy, giving everything he is to you. "I've watched you, little mouse, seen you fight my kind and it made me ravenous."

Giyuu shuddered at your words and yet did nothing. He let you nuzzle his neck, lick a strip up to his jaw. You nibbled on his soft skin, tempting yourself with a taste of his flesh. And yet, Giyuu wasn't afraid. He yearned for more, for a revival of heated memories when you two were the same, when you were both human and weak, equal before the gods.

"It isn't often that a snack enters my den all by himself. Usually, there's more of you wretched humans disturbing my oasis." You speak, breath warm and tickling Giyuu's ear. Your hands pull him onto your lap, making him straddle you. Giyuu looks down at you, brain foggy from all sensations you brought on. "But you, little mouse, you're different. Makes me want to keep you like a good pet."

Giyuu allows you to pull him in for a kiss. It's hunger and fire, consuming him until he feels like nothing will be left of him. He grabs onto your shoulders, nails digging into your clothes as he struggles with himself, with the instincts urging him to rut against you, to moan and beg. Your claws slice through his clothes with ease, baring his skin to the cool air, to your own wandering hands. Giyuu gasps, ripping his mouth away from yours, out of breath. Your name echoes off the trees as you lavish his neck and chest with licks and bites, leaving marks on his pale skin. You break skin with your teeth on his chest, drawing blood. He whimpers as you lick it up then suck on the tiny wound. It's odd and dangerous but still a thrill Giyuu doesn't want to miss out on.

"What a good boy you are." It's a coo, a praise wrapped in a patronizing tone Giyuu usually hated but didn't mind now because it came from you. "Such a good snack, not struggling when I indulge a little taste."

You look into his eyes as your touches become more daring, lips still smiling even as your eyes devoured all of Giyuu's reactions. Giyuu's head fell back once you grasped his dick, fingers wrapping almost too hard around his length but a little pain was good as long as you were touching him.

"Look at me." You commanded and Giyuu obeyed immediately, eyes wide at your harsh tone. He didn't want you to be mad, to stop the movements of your hand. "What kind of a slayer are you? Wanting to fuck a demon of all things. You're messed up, aren't you? Don't worry, I won't tell, it's our little secret."

Giyuu felt his eyes tear up. It's been years since he last cried but your words struck a cord even as he felt pleasure from your hand and the tone of your voice. He felt so ashamed of himself. Indeed, what kind of a slayer was he?

"Are you going to cry, little mouse?" You laughed, hand moving faster over his dick. "I wonder what your friends would say if they could see you now. They'd probably laugh at you. Or maybe some would join me in my fun and we could all have a turn with you."

Giyuu whimpered, teeth clenched over his lips. The thoughts you put in his head were tempting, far too much for him.

"You're so close, aren't you?" You ask, knowing full well that it won't take long before Giyuu broke apart. "Don't worry, you can cum whenever you want."

Giyuu fucked into your fist, enjoying the squeeze of your fingers, every teasing pass over his leaking head, your demeaning yet arousing words. It didn't take that long for him to spill all over your hand, making a mess. A mess you happily fed to him until there was nothing left.

"On your knees, slayer." You ordered, pushing him out of your lap to his knees. Giyuu watched as you stripped, showing yourself off and he wondered what he did to deserve such a treat. Your body seemed to glow with some inner light, once again reminding Giyuu of a goddess. You were terrifying in your beauty and all Giyuu could think of was worshiping every inch of your being. "Good boy."

You sat back on your rock, straightening your left leg until your foot was on Giyuu's shoulder and he placed his trembling hand on your joint. He could feel your eyes on him as he kissed your leg, slowly moving upward until your knee was hooked over his shoulder. Giyuu looked up at you, eyes seeking permission to go further and a moan broke from him as you nodded. He dived in between your legs, arms over your thighs as he kissed then licked and sucked at all the right places of your pussy. Your taste was exquisite, like ambrosia sent down from heavens. Your scent was heady and your soft sighs like music to him.

You praised him, one hand gentle in his hair, pushing him further into you. Giyuu thought that he could die right now, with no regrets, just because he made you feel like this. You were so wet, so warm and sweet… Giyuu couldn't get enough. You cried out when his fingers, rough from sword handling, entered you, moving first slowly then faster until you were grinding against Giyuu's face, panting as you came closer to the edge. Giyuu looked up at you from between your legs, eyes focused on the ecstasy on your face. He curled his fingers inside of you, pressing against that spongy spot inside of you and your thighs locked around his head, keeping him still as you rode out your orgasm.

You hunch over him, pulling his head from between your legs, cradling his face in a gentle hold. Giyuu knows that he probably looks a mess from your arousal, face wet and red, but it was worth the sweet look in your eyes and hunger on your face. He'd let you devour him whole if only that was his last memory.

You push him down, sinking to your knees and straddling his hips. Your hands caress his chest, fingers curling and your claws leave red lines on his skin. Another mark Giyuu would be happy to carry on into his next life. He's out of words and breath when you sink onto him, taking him to the deepest reaches of your body and all he can do is hold onto your hips as you ride him hard and fast. Giyuu knows that you're just using him, that he should be happy that you gave him the honour of feeling your wet heat grip his dick, clench around him.

"Thank you, thank you…" The words tumble out of his mouth, unbidden but truthful. He cums when you laugh at him, when your clawed hand wraps around his throat, squeezing ever so lightly.

You continued riding him, drawing tears from his pretty eyes from overstimulation. You ride him until you've milked him dry and got your fill of ecstasy. A growl rips from somewhere deep in your chest as you cum, grinding down on him to get those little aftershocks of pleasure. Your hand moves from Giyuu's throat, fingers chasing sweat drops on his chest. You lie down on top of him, humming that same tune from before.

Giyuu doesn't particularly care that your teeth are close to his jugular, that you're splitting open his skin to lick up his blood. All he knows and wants is to stay with you, surrounded by your warmth.

"Poor little slayer." You murmur into Giyuu's ear, voice filled with pity and something else Giyuu cannot comprehend. "So many desires unspoken, so many wishes not coming through. Do not worry, I'll take care of you."

The slayer never noticed the miasma descending around you two, just closed his eyes as you sang him to sleep. He looked like a doll as you picked him up, body limp as you carried him up into the trees. You set him up among many other humans in your den but took special care to preserve him.

"My little mouse." You purred, caressing Giyuu's face, tracing his lips. "I'll be good to you, no one will ever find you or hurt you here."

#hefi writes #spicy writing #dom!reader #demon slayer smut #giyuu tomioka smut #giyuu tomioka x reader

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falcqns · 3 years

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he's gone for good.

pairing: sub!Bucky x Reader

summary: Bucky informs you about Steve leaving.

warnings: angst, sub!Bucky, crying Bucky, mentions of violence.

a/n: hope you enjoy!

when you opened the door, and was greeted with a crying Bucky, you had no idea what to do.

you may had known Bucky for many years, but he was never open emotionally with you. in front of you, at least.

you two had met when you were studying abroad in Bucharest, and ended up moving in right beside him. you knew who he was right away, and you also knew that he was most likely on the run from HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D., so you never revealed that you knew who he was.

a week into living there, you found out he had nightmares, but it wasn't until a month later that you found the perfect cure for them, home cooked food.

you were up late doing some research for a paper, when you heard the beginnings of a nightmare. you usually heard the terror and scream filled ends, not the beginnings, but you listened anyways.

he was calling out for someone. it took you a few seconds to decode what and who he was calling out for, but when you realized, your heart broke for him. he was calling out for his mom. his calls became louder and more desperate, before coming to a head with a shout, then sobs of heartbreak. it made you think of your mom, hundreds of miles away. it wasn't until you remembered that he was born in 1917, so his mom was definitely dead, that you moved from your bed.

you ran into the kitchen and pulled out all the ingredients for some chocolate chip cookies. eating homemade cookies always soothed all your pain when you were little, and you didn't want to think about the kind of food HYDRA fed him on a daily basis, if they fed him at all. you also knew he most likely wasn't eating properly here, as you’d see him come back everyday with plums, along with some type of street food that he found.

didn't matter what the street food was, he always had plums accompanying it. a quick google search told you that plums helped improve memory, so that was that question answered. an hour later, and the cookies were done, and loaded into a spare Tupperware that you had lying around, with a note on top letting hi know that if he ever needed to talk, you were there.

you placed it outside his door, knocked, and retreated to your unit just in time. thanks to an abandoned body mirror that sat opposite the wall that separated the two units, you got to see the smile that spread on his face when he saw the cookies and read the letter.

after that day, it became tradition.

every time he would have a nightmare, you would give him some type of food. whether it was chicken parm, French onion soup, cookies, cake, donuts, or even chicken nuggets and fries that you Uber Eat’d from McDonalds, you always made sure he was comforted.

it wasn't until a month before you were due to move back to your home country that you saw him face to face for the first time. you were bringing him some white chocolate macadamia nut cookies when he opened the door. he had a coat, hat, and leather gloves on, indicating he was going out.

he smiled and blushed, before speaking. “so you're the lovely lady that cooks for me,” he said, and you laughed before handing him the container with cookies.

“yes I am. I just made some more, actually.” you said with a smile as he took the box from you, and looked inside.

“well, thank you doll. these look absolutely delicious, I can't wait to try them.” he said with a smile and you felt your cheeks heat up.

he placed the box down on the table next to the door, and turned back to you.

“well, I'll let you get on with your day,” you said, as you turned to head back to your unit.

“actually,” he said, and you turned to face him. “I was just going to go on a walk since it was my day off today. do you maybe want to come with me?” he asked, and you felt butterflies form in your stomach as you nodded.

“sure! just let me grab my coat.” you said.

then, just like the cooking, the afternoon walk became tradition. you two would walk and talk about anything. whether it be work, school, or building drama, you always had something to talk about.

on a certain walk through a quiet little park, he confessed who he was, and was surprised when all you said was “I know.” he’d asked if you were afraid, and you said no. he’d asked if you were planning on turning him in, and you also said no.

you’d explained that it was obvious that HYDRA had control of him, and that everyone deserved a second chance. after your little speech, he’d kissed you, and asked you out on a date. you'd accepted, and started dating after your first date.

then, he was captured by S.H.I.E.L.D.. the two of you had been at the market together when he saw a newspaper saying that he had killed King T’Chaka with a bomb at the UN. he swore, and dragged you home. the two of you blew past your unit, and headed into his where you were faced with Steve Rogers. this didn't surprise you, he'd told you what he could remember about Steve, and you were expecting him to show up eventually, you just weren't expecting it to be so soon.

you could hear someone else, Sam, over Steve’s comm, and realized that there were police here, to capture Bucky. upon hearing this, Bucky shoved you out of the apartment, and down the hallway, with Steve following. he’d led you to a back entrance that you didn't even know was there, and told you tp leave the building until everything was over.

he gave you one last hug and kiss, and your first ‘I love you’, and he was gone.

you hadn't heard from him for 2 years, when you got a letter from him. according to the letter he had been seeking refuge in Wakanda, and had been freed of the Winter Soldier. he invited you to come and visit, and you did. you got to watch him tend to his goats (which he named after every avenger, even Tony) and interact with the Wakandan people, and the children. who knew a former brainwashed HYDRA assassin could be so sweet with young children? definitely not you.

then, just as you were preparing to leave and look for a farm where Bucky could continue to raise his goats and be with you, King T’Challa came to Bucky and gifted him a new arm, and informed him of a new fight. Bucky had begged you to leave, but you wouldn't have it. you had been working out and training since the day that you watched him and Steve fight against the police in Bucharest, wanting nothing more than to run in there and protect him.

so, you fought. it felt surreal to you to be fighting with the Avengers beside you, although there was no place you’d rather be. in that moment, as you were racing towards those “space dogs”, as Rocket had called them at one point, you didn't care if you lived or died, won or lost. you only cared about fighting beside the love of your life.

watching that same love of your life fade away to dust in a beautiful Wakandan forest broke you in two. you had just gotten him back, and you’d lost him again. you were trapped in your own head for days, wishing to dust away like him, just to be with him.

before you knew it, 5 years had passed, and you had joined the remaining Avengers. how you went from studying abroad in Bucharest, to being an Avenger, you had no idea, but you were grateful nonetheless. when Steve, Natasha, and Scott approached you with the possibility that you would be able to get Bucky back, you instantly accepted.

you joined Tony, Steve and Scott, and helped Steve in the fight against himself. when Tony failed to get the Tesseract the first time, you joined them on their journey into 1970, and was blown away. it wasn't exactly the time that Bucky and Steve were from, but it kind of felt like it in a way, and you instantly felt closer to Bucky, although Steve had to stop you from going to find Bucky, who was coincidentally only a few kilometres away at that point in time.

you fought with Steve and the rest of the Avengers against Thanos, and almost fainted from happiness when you saw your Bucky walk through the portal and run into your arms. you, once again, fought with the Avengers and Bucky to defeat Thanos once and for all.

then, Tony snapped his fingers, and your whole world changed. you didn't know it at that particular moment, but it did.

you attended Tony's funeral, and you and Bucky went home. a few days later, Bucky and Sam went to see Steve off to return the stones. you had no idea why, according to Bruce it would take about 5 seconds, but Bucky insisted that he needed to go, and said that he was sorry he couldn't join you on an afternoon walk, your first one with him in over seven years.

but, then he showed up at the door, tears streaming from his steel blue eyes, his cheeks puffy, and the smallest of sobs escaping from his rosy lips, and you knew something went wrong.

you pulled him into your apartment, and wrapped your arms around him. he nuzzled his face into your neck, and sobbed freely.

“what happened?” you asked. “did something happen to Steve?” at the mention of his best friend, Bucky sobbed harder, and your question was answered, albeit silently.

you pulled him into the bedroom, and stripped him from his clothes. you’d never dealt with a sobbing and heartbroken Bucky in person before, so you just went with what felt right.

you instructed him softly to go lay on the bed, and he nodded. you laid down on your side, and pulled him to lay on your chest. as your hands ran through his hair that was starting to curl slightly, you tried again.

“can you tell me what happened, honey?”

Bucky sniffled a few times and sat up. you did the same, and he fiddled with his metal fingers while he talked.

“y’know yesterday when Steve and I went out for lunch?” he asked, and you nodded. “well, he told me about your journey back to the 1970′s with him.”

you furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded. “I-i guess he was dodging some workers or something because he hid in an office, an office that happened to belong to Peggy Carter. he said that he saw her through the glass, and that he realized that he could have the life with her that he’d always wanted, the Pym Particles safe in his pocket. he knew that he had to come back and bring everyone back, but then he was going to go back.” you didn't know what to think. that wasn't the Steve that you knew, the Steve that you had become family with over those horrible and painful five years.

“when he told me, I didn't really think he was going to do it.” Bucky said, his voice shaking. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he rested his head against your chest.

“even when I watched him disappear on the tunnel platform I didn't believe it. then, he showed up again.” he said, almost whispering.

“he was old. like grey hair, wrinkles, all of it.” he managed to get out in between sobs that were growing louder. “t-thats when it hit me. that he left me, for he-” he tried to say, before his sobs started full force again, and you pulled him to lay on you. he had his head on your chest, and his body in between your legs.

his cries continued, and you knew there was no stopping them. he was heartbroken, and he had to work through his feelings, not ignore them.

he swallowed, and continued to explain. “he left me for the girl he kissed once. which is great, he deserves to be happy, but I need him. I'm finally completely free, and I don't have my childhood best friend anymore.” he sobbed out, and you started to rock your body slowly to soothe him.

you wanted to cry too. cry about the friend that you’d never get to see again, but you couldn't, not yet. Bucky was hurting way more than you were, and you could push your pain down until Bucky was okay. you cuddled him closer to you, and spoke into his hair.

“its okay, baby boy.” you said, and he nuzzled deeper into you, the stress and sadness melting away from his body. it would return later, but it was gone for the time being. he sighed in contentedness, and his tears slowly stopped. you kissed his forehead, and felt him smile.

you ran your hands through his locks for the millionth time, and hummed a slow tune to him to soothe him further. you felt his breathing even out, ad light snores escape his mouth, and you smiled.

at least for a while, he was at peace, a peace he hadn't had in a while.

#bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #fatws bucky #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes fluff #sub!bucky

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

Text

KISMETS.

Harry Styles x fem!reader.

Slow burn, platonic love and jealousy clićhes.

Fluff! Fluff! Fluff!

Frenemies and dad!harry.

Author's Note: The concept's kinda weird but if you've watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Phoebe Buffay carrying child for someone. You've got it my pal!

MASTERLIST LETS TALK! PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

"Can ya stop breathing like, THAT!?" She whisper yells twisting to give him a sharp glare full of spleen elbow poking at his side abs, "Like what!?" He half squeaks peering down at her with doe eyes palms flat at sides to convey his surprise.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor.

"Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them. Harry hates her hormones. Little bitches.

Y/N is carrying a baby for Harry and his girlfriend --- but something went downhill.

Twinkling droplets of crystal rain pelts against the bricked road subsiding harsh noises of surrounding but a nettled groan caught everyone's attention ‐‐‐ stares turning in direction. Have you ever wanted to just disappear under a warm invisible cloak and enjoy the drollery aspects of life without worrying? Because this is what Y/N wants at the moment as she stands under the bus stop shelter with few people beside her and the british showers starts pouring mocking at her for not carrying an umbrella with her.

Everyone leaves when the bus didn't arrive — who remains behind's Y/N huffing and pouting wishing for rain to stop. When it didn't she muttered a 'fuck it' before risking catching a cold and stepping under the pitter patter with her books atop her head for less damage.

Trying to punch in the passcode of society's gate with shivery fingers perhaps it opens before that startling her wet-y self. Similar car drives near her and a head pops in from inside with his big goofy smile and crinkles by his charming eyes, "Ni!" She exclaims pushing away the drippy hair sticking to her lips with her pinky.

"Pet you're gonna catch a cold. Want me to drop ya?" Niall kinda yells over the rain's loudness. She sighs fog whirling infront of her. Shoves her hand in her trench coat's pocket to seek for heat instead it's all icky and drenching.

"No it's just a tiny walk away. I'll manage — call me will tell ya how my class went." She waves him looking at him from her shoulder while rushing away towards the most elegant house in the block. Niall gives her a thumbs up from before getting out of sight and she tries to hop over the puddles of water to make it to doorsteps.

The water she brings from outside pooling at the dark timber floor - it trails behind her past the pink door as she rushes jumpy-ly where the most hot's in the house and apparently it's more than she expected, "ouch. ouch my eyes!!" She screams covering them at the sight of Harry butt naked pinning his girlfriend against the wall near fire place. Her face turning into a tomato at the horrendous raid but she seems pissed and well . . displeased that Y/N ruined a mind boggling orgasm for her.

Before, they could disattach from eachother to unravel their humiliation Y/N jogged up to attic into the guest room slamming her forehead against the door to knock away the embarrassment. She always barges in Harry's house without announcing but sometimes she forgets he isn't alone everytime his girlfriend comes to live by every two weeks (it's his fault too that he never locks the main door as anytime anyone's coming at his place). Changes into clothes she forgets at her visits, tries to dry her hair with a towel that no-more smells like Harry but expensive fabric softeners and has a pep talk for a minute to show herself down infront of them.

Instinctive voices coming from the Kitchen and she pads towards it. They act like nothing happened. Like Harry wasn't dick deep into Chessie moments ago. Harry ushers her to barstool and hands her a cuppa tea moving on with a kiss to her head. It still gives her butterflies even though how many sense awakening scoldings she gave to herself at 3 ams.

"'M sorry." She squeaks with a wavering smile wrapping her palms around the mug. Harry cackles softly brushing the underbelly of his nose as Chessie cordinated the cutlery drawer, "'s okay moppet. we finished our business when ye' left." Y/N almost choked on her hot beverage gulping it down when Chessie shocked gasp throwing little socksies that were laying ontop of the counter at Harry. Are those of toddler? Adam's out of town so there's no way it could be his daughter's socks. Maybe Chessies's one of friend's?

"Should've called me t' pick y'up. Niall was loafin' around too —- wear it you're turnin' blue, pet." He comes back with a swarmy chunky knitted sweater Anne gifted him at his birthday handing it to Y/N and sitting opposite of her pulling Chessie with her wrist into his lap clearing his throat to bring Y/N's attention back from eyeing the socks on the floor. Her eyes flicker between them chest tightening at the love and glow that radiates from Harry when he looks at her.

No. She's not jealous. Mightyyyy bit yeah –- cause she could never be this lucky to have someone as Harry. He's the most caring towards her since ten years been her compass to the home she wanted, her anchor saving her from sinking and the sixth sense of a blind to her. In fact she thinks he's her soulmate and not every soulmates needs to be romantically involved some could watch them growing beautiful in love. Y/N's doing it. Admiring the maturity of his life with the person that truly makes him enough---or she thinks so.

"How was ye'r meditation class?" Harry asks (she took a semester off as she was unable to haul the burden'; Harry convinced her how her health should be her first priority) breaking a cookie in two giving half of it to Chessie who thanks him with a kiss in return, "Was good been feelin' great!" She chirps pulling the sleeves of the sweater that's drenched in cinnamon vanilla-y smell with lingers of what comes of as Chessie's scent. She assumes they cuddled shit loads.

To subside the gnaw in her brain down she finally asks the question pointing at the sock that nobody gave a heed to pick up, they stop chewing looking at eachother to come up with something. Chessie's face distressed knowing Harry wouldn't hide it from Y/N. He tells her everything and sometimes it could be too personal to share.

"Erm. . I bought 'em — 'cos. . " Harry stammers and Y/N smacks her hand atop her mouth avoiding from giving a shocked reaction, "Oh my goodness ye' guys are pregnant!?" It was enough to make Chessie flinch and hike down Harry's lap.

"No! 'S not what ye'r thinkin'." He shakes his head making Y/N confused. "Then you bought it fo' your fingers? Cause that's the only body part it could fit." She teases him to break through the insight tension around and he chuckles shaking his head grabbing Chessie's hand rubbing her knuckles how he used to when Y/N's anxious and over the edge.

"We want to have a family." His words low as he looks at Chessie but she shrugs in return as 'in it is what it is'. Y/N stomach twisted at that. The thought that one day He's gonna have a family of his own and the little bubble that Y/N would be privy to made her throat dry. Because she has no-one despite Harry and he deserves the whole world not just baby keeping Y/N everytime.

"So . .? What's the problem?" She raises her brows looking between them noticing Harry's fingers fiddle with the flower tea mats, "There are complications from Chessie's side." Chessie sighs in disappointment and Y/N ponders over the idea, clocks working and spindling wildly in her mind.

"I could do that for you guys — since I took a semester off --–" She puts the offer nervously and both of their jaws went slack Harry with an adoring grin while Chessie in hitting shock. "--Erm we could go through a traditional surrogacy."

"Are you sure?" Chessie asks squeezing her shoulder and Y/N nodded taking both of their hands, "Anything for ye' guys!" Harry's eyes glossing over and he leaves his spot sprawling his arms calling for her, "Gimme a hug pet. Life saver ye're - we're gonna take care of ye." They group hug tightly and excitedly.

Sometimes actions could speak much more than words because the lies that words hold could ruin the great bondages.

. . .

They went through the medical procedure two days after Her, Harry and Chessie being guided by their acquired doc. She was nervous and sweaty but Harry's presence beside her soothed out any negativity that was building inside her brain. By womb the babies would be Harry's and Y/N but legally Chessie's and Harry. She's just wishing that everything goes alright cause that happiness of them is million worthy to her.

People might call her stupid and brainless for going through sickness, crankiness, back pains and the pain during labour just to give those babies to someone else (she's too afraid to call them her's cause she knows her emotional attachments could be very destructive) but she loves Harry and love makes you do those thingies.

At the moment she's on the toilet seat eyes bolted shut counting threes with the pregnancy test in her wavering fingers. "Please it better work." A squeal of surprise leaves her lungs when her eyes fell over the two positive lines quickly dragging her panties over she tumbled outside where everyone's waiting for her.

"You guys are pregnant!!" Sounds dumb right? She announces loudly. Harry's and Chessie's heads perked up while everyone cheered beers spilling from the rims. She flashed grins to each one of them splitting her gaze away from Harry giving Chessie a celebratory kiss.

"Thank you. Oh my god, love! Can't belive it." Harry held her from shoulders giving her a toothy smile and it puts her off that Chessie didn't say anything just a nod along Harry. "Me too." She breathes out as he leads her to sofa sitting her cautiously. "We'll visit the doctor tommorrow." He reassures popping his head from Sarah's neck as she hugged him tight.

"We're gonna have a little Y/N and Harry running and pooping it's nappies soon." Everyone went silent. A grimace on Y/N and Chessie's face. Niall doesn't know when to shut up does he? Y/N's gonna strangle him alive. Harry laughed out aloud not caring about the thick tension in room, "I'll rip ye'r hair if you'll turn me baby into a golf freak Niall." His baby.

Niall raises his hands in defence, "No guarantees Harold."

. . .

They had a check-up and Y/N indeed's pregnant. Harry's over the moon. Kissing her forehead. Thanking her for millionth time – to the point she told him to let her watch telly in peace and shut up. Chessie bringing her organic vegan dishes that Y/N isn't a fan of but eats nevertheless under Harry's stern gaze. "'S not about them only I want ye' to be healthy too, pet. Can't be selfish now can I?" He'd insist.

When she'd be sick he'd be at her side giving her back rubs while Chessie stood at the doorframe of washroom. Y/N thinks since she's pregnant her womanly instincts has gotten more sharp as she sensed something's off between the pair.

He'd be at her flat early morning waking her up to have a morning walk with him not giving in her grunts and whines. Who'd want to leave their crispy warm bed to just be out in the cold? A fool like Harry only. Making her brekkie afterwards as a reward giggling and massaging her shoulders when she'd gobble down food like a greedy squirrel, "Easy there love. 'S all yours."

Chessie's back at LA. They had a small argument because Harry wants her to be participating in all of this as much as he's. But, her priorities are not set for this. They never were.

Y/N was at Harry's place nibbling onto chocolate cupcakes Anne sent specifically for her with a note ("my grandchild shouldn't be privy to their Nana's bakin' skills all my love to Y/N." along a winky smiley) when she spilled cold milk all over her nooked tee-shirt. Harry gave her his clothes to change into and baby wipes but she warded him with a scoff that water exists. She has become more feisty with each passing day.

Was discarding the tee when her gaze fell over the sveltest of bump in the mirror taking her breath away. It makes her realize it's all real. She never touches her belly in fear if she'd she will never stop. Now, when the pads of her fingers skim alongs the skin it strips shivers down her spine. She always wanted this. Not in this scenario though. Shaking her head of the thoughts she slips Harry's hoodie over it climbing down the stairs and it causes Harry to snap his head in alert. He stops chopping the carrots spinning to see Y/N standing feet away from him.

"My baby bump's showing." Her voice almost a whisper and it widens Harry's pupils as his hands fell in air midway between them hesitant to reach her, "Can I see?" She bobs her head shyly cheeks blazing red while revealing the bump for Harry to see. It's not like he hasn't seen her before. He has. But, this's more intimate than all of that. It made him fall on his knees. He's a sensitive person in general. Pure from heart but during this period it seems like he's pregnant not Y/N which's quite amusing too.

"She's beautiful." His gaze full of adoration. "She?" Y/N furrows her brow with a smile. He bobbed his head with a grin, "Think so our baby's gonna be she." Now that's the problem cause Y/N doesn't know which ours he's talking about.

"My pregnancy instincts says it's he." He scoffs, "Bet!?" She rolls her eyes forwarding her fist to do the hand shake they do while betting, "If you loose your pink macbook gonna be mine." They solid the deal with their traditional shake.

"Can I touch it?" Harry's asks politely. When she gives him permission he spreads his warm palms flat against her tummy tongue tied with the affection boozing in his veins for the baby that's not out in the world yet. Y/N eyes flutters and her fingers twitches by her sides from carding them into his hair. This's wrong she scolds herself. Her hormones all over the place.

"You wanna send a picture to Chessie?" At this his lips thinned and he gave her a curt nod standing up to fetch his phone, "Sure. But she might be busy..." on the verge of spitting his words in vile.

. . .

Y/N was reading a crime mystery book. Stroking the side of her baby bump carelessly. Cosy in her blanket hoodie telly murmuring in the distance. "Your dad's taste in books is shit, innit?" She peers down with a smile. It's the first time she's talking to them. "We'll read loads of good books together so that when you'll grow up – I could know what to gift you on Christmas." She tries to grab more popcorns from the bowl but it's empty. "Wanna be best aunt out there!!"

"Will you miss me? As much as I'll when we'll be separated?" Tears well up at her waterline. She huffs through her nose running her hand down her belly several times. It's coming; the breakdown she was toiling for days. "I know it sucks I cant be your mommy." Her cravings kicking in and all she want's a strawberry oreo icecream.

"Oh no. Seriously? I'm sad and ye' lil bean want an ice? Let's call your daddy and see what he got." She rings him and he picks up on the third one. Voice groggy from the sleep. She wants to feel bad but she isn't when all her taste buds could think of is strawberry flavour.

"'M cravin' strawberry ice-cream bad. . . Is it possible for ya to bring one?" He's already throwing duvets off his body reaching for his phone and wallet, "No worries pet I'll be there in tick."

"What the fuck Harry? It's three in the mornin'." Chessie groaned from beside him throwing pillow at her face. "We already stored her fridge with alot of food — " She squints about to change the side.

"She's carrying a baby for us Chess. Ye should know better since ya didn't wanted to." She sits up like bullet folding her arms against her chest.

"Thank you for throwing it at my face, H." He doesn't even spare her a glance walking outside and Chessie wants to scream at the top of her lungs. Why did she even agreed to this?

. . .

When he bought her ice-cream she throws herself in his arms kissing his cheek and he giggled in return feeling good when her bump pressed against him. They ate ice-cream with a bantering mess discussing names of the babies, the one that Chessie and Harry decided, him telling her about the little onesies they bought hearing that Y/N stood up taking out a little bag from the chests of drawers.

"I hope you wouldn't mind." She mutters showing him the lil knitted gloves and Harry slid his palm above her's wrapping them snugly, "I don't want ye' to think ya can't love on 'em 'cos after all it's ye'r womb they belong too." Her lip wobbles at his words and she stuffs her face against his chest fisting the hem. It fred away butterflies inside Harry. He sucka his lip. He shouldn't be acting like this. He has a girlfriend that he's gonna have a baby with. They're happy or atleast he thinks so.

They've been bestfriend for years and those feelings never drowned him. Is it because now she's having his babies? Maybe? Harry tries to convince himself.

When he looks down Y/N's drooling onto his shirt deep into slumber. He pecks her hair slipping his arms under her to hold her firmly against his chest. Laying her on the bed tucking her under blankets.

. . .

It sounds like multiple thuds as doctor hovered the ultrasound device over her gelled cover belly. Her belly growing way faster than it should. Her gaze glued at the ceiling fingers crossed. Harry and Chessie holding hands tight gazes fixed at the screen both of them confused at the disoriented image. They all were on the edge of their seats waiting for their turns. Y/N wished that someone could give her a huge warm hug to soothe her nerves down. But, in the first place she shouldn't be worried about the gender as it's none of concern but theirs. It's getting hard day by day.

"It's twins!" Doctor announces chirply getting a wave of silence in return. But, soon the room filled with happy giggles and gasps of Harry as he went to hug Chessie who's expressionless from shock. Y/N pouts wishing it was her. Smiling at doctor when she squeezed her hand in consolation. She's frightened though. How could she deliver two babies? To deal with the roughness that comes along them? Gonna be pretty hectic.

"We hit a jackpot, innit?" He grins down at her kissing Chessie's cheek last time before leaning down to hug her. "Gonna be super carin' with ye' now." Y/N gives a pat to his back in return awkwardly eyeing as Chessie left the room hastily.

. . .

It rakes against the wood harshly as Chessie glided keys of Harry's house towards him without a word. He puts the baby guide book aside arching his brow, "I can't do this anymore. I want an out." Dread. Seeping down Harry's bones.

Guarding himself down he grits, "What do ya mean you want an out? We agreed with full consent of yours Chessie." She shakes her head furiously.

"I didn't sign up for two of 'em Harry I could barely be there for one!!" He puts his elbows on his knees head lowering, "But you wanted to have a family with me didn't ye'?" His eyes tearing and she throws her head back in annoyance finding it difficult to make him understand.

"No. No – No. You wanted a family! Because of your continuous protests I gave in. Told you I wasn't ready for all of this bullshit now we are here." She emphasises. Harry stands up from his seat towering her pointing a finger at her.

He's rageous. Could burn this house down. How could she be so mean? Cowarding back at the last moment.

"Don't call it bullshit." He spits full of venom for the woman he mighty love and she snaps her head other way, "Congrats she finally ruined us and couldn't be more happy – now that she's having your mother fuckin' babies." He stumbles back knocking the coffee table lungs congesting.

"Don't drag her in all of this she's innocent." She laughs ironically looking him square in eyes yelling like a maniac, "Gave her your sperms now you can't hold back from fucking her. I knew it. You were fucking her behind my back weren't you?" She thinks of him like that? A cheater? He loved her and she always thought he was cheating her.

"Don't yell. I don't want to see ye'r cruel face when I come back home." He tries not to croak mustering strength to walk away from her. Exposing himslef to freezing weather locking himself in his car and crying his heart out. Sky crying along him. He punches the steering wheel brutally shouting "why's?" Head falling atlast as he thought of all his dreams shattering at his feet.

She caged him instead of giving him shelter. Replaced the butterflies he used to get from her with a burning hell in his pit, should've been mother of his children now she's just an ex.

The excruciating part is how he's gonna tell Y/N about this? She'll be crushed.

. . .

"Oh my god . . ." It was the roar of thunder that startled her but something else took her attention away. That tinsy kick protruding the taught skin of her belly, ". . . which one of you?" She was extra happy today. It's swimming in her head. It's just a thought but sharing it with Harry wouldn't kill someone. She wanna ask him if she could've one of the babies. It's just she's too much into the moment that she forgot she still have a degree to complete. A career to pursue and a life she always wanted.

When there's a knock at door she tries to stand up with the support of armrest a hand on her back. A gasp falling from her mouth at the sight of Harry's clothes soaked and another when he looks up with bloodshot eyes. Tears dried cheeks and heaving chest seeming utterly devastated.

"Pet what happened!?" She grabs him from elbow pulling him inside and he falls onto his knees smashing his cheeks against her showing tummy -- a sob recking through him, "Harry you're scarin' me. Tell me what happened is everything okay?"

"Chessie don't want these babies - sh-she didn't wanna ruin her career but atlast agreed . . . n-n now she doesn't want 'em 'n wants an out." He stutters. White noise deafening Y/N's ears and she steps back with expressions as if she's scared. Horrified of the future.

"It means she never had complications? She just didn't wanted her body to go through all of this." When Harry didn't fill in to her inquiry she flopped onto sofa from the shock shoving her face into her palms giving out a cry of hurt at her stupidity.

"God. I'm such an idiot!" He shakes his head crawling towards her with sad eyes and lil hiccups, "No please don'tcha say that. We'll figure it out yeah? Never wanted this t'happen." God. How bad he wants her to assure him that it'll be alright.

"You'll figure out what, huh!? Leaving them just like she did!?" Swear Harry felt a dagger jabbing it's way into his heart more upsetting tears spilling down his throat. "I hate you guys. They're none of your babies from now on. . ."

"Leave." She orders him wiping her tears roughly with the sleeve of her jumper. Running out of breath with each sniffle. Raises her hand stopping him to step forward and protest, "I said leave before I make you!!" He nods inhaling breath of remorse looking at the ceiling for a second then to her.

"Before, that want ya t'know. I still want 'em. They're mine. How could I not? love 'em. Hope ya'll forgive me." Then it's just sobs of Y/N taking over the buzz of telly as the door ticks. He didn't leave though. He's too afraid to. His back sliding against her door knees closing against his chest letting it all dawn upon him. His green luscious orbs hooding with sadness and the fluff of his curls.

Dunno if Y/N would be able to forgive him.

. . .

He woke up to a boot nudging to his thigh squinting up to find Niall stating down at him with consoling eyes. Poor Harry slept in the hallway. His neck sore and limbs stoned.

"Heard it 'lad. Was suspicious with Chessie long way." He helps Harry stand up patting his shoulders, "Y/N called ye'?" He grogs rubbing his eye with knuckles. When Niall confirms he quips with pleading eyes in a low whisper knowing he'll get his hair ripped if that furious little mama bunny will find him outside.

"Ye' think she'll forgive meh?" Niall chuckles to light up the situation, "'course H. Do ya think our pet's that ruthel—" He bites his tongue. Harry's gaze following the snap of his neck when the door opened revealing Y/N in a lilac chunky sweater. Puffy eyes and swollen lips. Harry feeling like a dickhead at her condition. It's all his fault. Then their eyes fall at the piping hot cuppa of tea in her hand.

With a stoic face she hands it to Harry and pulls Niall inside slamming the door at curly boy's face. So, she knew he was there sharing a door with her the whole night.

. . .

"Isn't it a good thing thou, love?" Niall smiles. He's chill in all of this. Watching it unwrap. They were meant for eachother Niall thinks so, "You wanted one of 'em and ended up havin' a whole bean can." She groans throwing her peach plushie at his chest. A smile swirming up her lips at his silly statement now that she's more stable less sad.

"You're the absolute worst, Ni!" He holds her cold hands tugging her close to make her look, "Want ya to forgive H. He did nothin' wrong, pet." When she pouts ruffling the silk strands of her rug with her feet he grabs her chin.

"Remember how happy he was? Don't go mad on him yeah?" She bobs her head not meeting his gaze. Meanwhile, there's knock at the door and Niall takes it laughing to himself softly at the box of doughnuts with a note.

"What is it?" He's already flopping beside her hooking his nimble finger around the white doughnut with rainbow sprinkles, "If I'd have known pregnant ladies gets treated this way. Would be havin' one baby every year." She smacks him in belly and unlatches the note reading it with a sucked lip.

Ye'r antenatal class's tommorrow. Don't forget to take ye vitamins :)

How gentle, calm and optimistic Harry could be needles her some.

. . .

Harry's waiting for her in the car fiddling with the radio. He isn't gonna lie. He's been going through a heartbreak. To cope with it he wants to accompany Y/N in her parent craft classes. When she waddles towards his car cosied up in a yellow baggy sweater and a cardigan Harry remembers she stole from him ages ago he mighty scrunched his nose in adoration at her cuteness.

Her nose pink and cheeks flushing as she slips into her seat, "Can you stop bringin' me stuff. I know how to take care of myself." She nips at him when he forwards her a kale smoothie. He doesn't seem to mind. Both, of them knows very well she's trying to avoid drinking it. She finds it yucky!

"Wanna take care of ya'll is all." He mumbles putting it in her side's cup holder. Ya'll .She regrets it instantly. Damn his puppy eyes!

. . .

"Mr. Styles and . . . Miss Y/N." The instructor calls them and they both raises their hand awkwardly as if in elementary school. "You're the parents of twin right?" She asks. Y/N wanted to say that their supposed to be parent ran off from the fear. But, she couldn't. Could never. It'll be like rubbing salt to his wounds. Bestfriends don't do that shit even in their most anger.

"Yes." She confirms. When Harry didn't. Scared if he might say something wrong. "Ok then! Lay your mats n' have a seat." Harry guides her with the little of his hand on her back. Her shoulder nudging his taut chest, and goosebumps pimples at her skin when his fingers brushes the side of her belly as he helps her sit down.

She takes an all rounder of the room and none of the parents looks like they're here to prepare for war unlike them. She shyly waves at the two mothers beside her and Harry twinges his lip equally flustered as her.

They start with relaxation and breathing exercises. Telling Y/N to let herself loose in Harry's arms. She fumbles with the hem of her sweater when his fingers gingerly winked at her sides and the lull of his breath hit her earlobe.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor. "Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. He hates her hormones little bitches.

It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them.

. . .

"Are you hungry?" He asks turning the heat on knowing how cold her feet could get in the span of seconds. She huffs trying to buckle her belt and it squirms a fond smile out of him at her cute effort to be put in place due to her bump. If he'd coo. She'd rip him into tiny bits. It's better if he gazes away.

"Does it mean emptying your pocket?" She arches her brow sinking into her seat. "Bitso. . " He chuckles softly drumming at the steering wheel.

"Then I'd love to." She adds with a smirk. Clasping her hands atop her heart outta excitement. It makes him shake his poof of hickorey curls at her silliness.

They end up taking a takeout of onion loaded cheese burgers. Greasy fries. An iced-tea and a box of cookies from Babara's shop a block away from Harry's house.

"Wanna choose fo' ye'rself?" He asked her before going inside and she denied with a worried expression. Not knowing how she'll explain all of this to Babara who's her one of the good friends from UNI. Harry respects that. If she isn't ready to talk about it he isn't gonna pressurize her. They've been dodging the serious talk since she let him take to parental classes. Knows one day or another they've to decide how it's all gonna work.

. . .

Good food can make you more high than actual drugs. Licking their fingers off now they feel all sleepy and lazy sitting on the comfortable sofa watching telly with hooded eyes.

Harry's cheek smushed adorably against her baby bump ears tuned into what his babies are talking about.

"You know what? 'S not about winners or loosers. Bu' I won." She bubble hiccups slumping deeper with sugar rush hitting her. "Huh? Harry mumbles eyes drooping. The cotton balls of snowflakes glittering outside, collecting at the window and foging them up.

"I get to have babies of my bestfriend and this nice foodddd — 'n what did Chessie got? No babies and no happy feeling of being their mother." Harry shots up from his snooze blinking up at her and she quickly takes it back regret eating her alive, "'m sorry it slipped."

"No!!" He almost shouts cupping her cheeks making her look at him. His dimples deeps that someone could scoop them like an ice-cream. He gives her an eskimo kiss that makes her veins run with glittery blood.

"I wan' ye' to be the mother of me babies." No hesitation. No dithering. Just him asking for the tinsy bit of her heart. For her forgiveness. For the love they've kept blind eye for years. "We'll figure this out, yeah?" He murmurs their lips brushing and breaths kissing. Pulling back with a forehead kiss.

She lives for forehead kisses makes her shallow tin heart explode with glittery firecrackers.

She nods to give him the affirmation that she wants what he wants.

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cafeinthemoon · 3 years

Text

Tobirama, Madara and Izuna with s/o who’s the last of the clan 💔

I was so excited when anon requested this one that I regret taking this long to finally write it! This time, we have Tobirama, Madara and Izuna with a s/o that reveals to be the last of her clan and besides infertile, which means that her lineage would be over with her, as well as their own. Let’s see how they would react!

To give this request a context, let’s imagine that they’re married for just some months and she never revealed this secret because she was afraid that they would leave her after finding out about it. Sm tension! Poor s/o 😭

Oh and Izuna's part ended up longer than I thought to be possible omg

Fandom: Naruto | Tobirama Senju, Madara Uchiha and Izuna Uchiha

Symbols: ◻ | 💜 | 💛 | ▶▶

Warnings: angst, not exactly happy endings, depression, tension, infertility, grief

Tobirama

It’s not like Tobirama didn’t notice something was wrong since you started living together: he did

He trusted you with his life, but he sensed you were keeping something from him, though he had no idea of what it could be

Maybe you did something shameful or something about your past has been haunting you since then, but you didn’t know how to tell him

Whatever the case, he never questioned you or tried to make you talk

He wanted you to take your time and only speak when you felt prepared, the best way for you to show how much you trusted and respected him

But months and months passed and your silence persisted, and it was hard for him to ignore it

One day, the answer to this mystery came in an unexpected way, during a casual conversation at home

Tobirama pointed out your circumstances were favorable: your routine together was settled, your house had enough space and he finally finished to work on some jutsu he has been developing for a while

You agreed and asked why he was talking about this now

It was when he said he believed that you both had proper conditions to have children

When you heard the word children, you couldn’t control your reaction: you started to tremble and covered your face to hide your tears

It took like one hour until you were able to speak again, and when you did, you begged Tobirama to listen to you until the end before thinking of what to do

You revealed that you weren’t lying when you told him you were the last of your clan, but that was not the whole story: you also discovered you were unable to get pregnant, which means your lineage would end with you

And if Tobirama kept married to you, the same would happen to his lineage as well

You explained you were scared to tell him the truth because you didn’t want to disappoint him or to see him leaving you

You also said you were sorry for destroying the trust he had on you and that if he wanted to step away from this marriage that wouldn’t bring him any benefits, you would understand

That was the moment when without a word you were remembered why you loved that man so much: he pulled you to him and involved you in a hug so tight that you thought you were going to suffocate

When he spoke, was to ask how you could think he would give up on you because of a child that you couldn’t bring to the world – a person who didn’t even exist

He married you because he loved you, not your bloodline

But you know, Tobirama is a man of actions and not just words, so once he understood how important this was for you, he started to work

He spent hours, days, weeks in research and tests with your genetic material to find the exact cause of your infertility, because with this information he could develop a cure

He also included the principles of chakra in his studies, which resulted in the cure being a type of healing ninjutsu

Tobirama didn’t like to speak about his techniques before he had proof of their efficacy, so he never talked to you about his discoveries. He was wise in not giving you false expectations

But one day, the jutsu was finally complete

He explained that he tried to improve the chances of success as much as he could, but they didn’t even reach 90% (an acceptable number according to him), so that the chances of failure couldn’t be ignored

You said that if the technique failed, you would learn to live with it and that all the effort he put on it was enough for you, for it was the greatest proof of love you’d expect to receive

Tobirama then explained how it would work and helped you with the preparations

You would take the healing treatment from him during a few sessions; after that, you would try a few times

All the procedure would take months, so you would have to be patient and reshape some of your habits: the healthier you would get, bigger were the chances of success

It’s been some time since you started the experiment, so there’s still hope

But you decided to use your time not just to rely on hope, but also to prepare yourself to whatever the future would bring to you ❤

Madara

Something unexplainable, a kind of sadness, were always present in you, in your voice, your gestures, and specially when you were quiet, distracted with your own thoughts

Since Madara met you, he had this strange sensation about you

Maybe it was a painful memory or something about your clan

You told him you were the last of it, so he was the only family you had now

He could say he understood part of you pain, for he lost his siblings when they were little, as well as his parents: he knew what it was like to be alone

But there was a part of the story you still hadn’t the courage to reveal to him: you were infertile, so you’d never be able to give him children

And you knew he wanted to be a father

Besides he was the clan’s head, so he needed an offspring

He noticed your used to get particularly quiet when children were mentioned

But he never questioned you about it

You, on the other hand, always knew that sooner or later, this would be discussed seriously in your house, yet you pretended it would never happen

But one evening, when you were sitting together, talking about the life you were building there and the future, Madara spoke again about his dream of becoming a father

This time, you couldn’t take it anymore

You said sorry to your husband, but you would not be able to make his dream come true

He didn’t ask how, or why: he just stared at you in silence, wondering what you were talking about

Then you finally confessed everything: you were not just the last of your clan; you were also unable to get pregnant. Having children were always a difficult theme for you, both because it was a dream you’d never reach and because of your lineage

You told him how you discovered your infertility, how your clan reacted to it, how you were rejected because no one would want a wife who wasn’t able to have children, how the world made your life gravitate around this instead of just let you live in peace

When you lost your family, your feelings were mixed: on one hand, you felt free from the burden of being infertile; on the other hand, you never felt so alone

You were determined to live only for yourself until you met Madara, who convinced you to do differently. And now things were about to get ruined because this shadow of your past

Your husband’s first reaction was to ask for a moment all by himself. He wanted to process everything he just heard before taking any measures

You gave him time and spent the rest of the night without seeing him

(You barely closed your eyes on the bed)

The next morning, he came back to talk to you

He said he was going to travel to seek for a solution and that he was not coming back until he found out something good enough for you two

You asked for details but he refused to give them. Sometimes he was so enigmatic that he would scare you

But you had to trust him, so you let him go even not knowing when he would be back

During his travel, Madara met some elder, wise people and asked for a jutsu, a medicine or anything that could help. He would pay any price for it

And they named their price, which wasn’t low. Still he paid

He would never speak about it with you, though

After weeks, he came back home with scrolls and artifacts and finally explained what he had in mind

You’ve never heard about those jutsu and didn’t trust those types of medicine

But you noticed he wasn’t the same man who left the house, so it was understood that he made some sacrifice to obtain those things

So that for your husband, you would try anything

If they would work, you weren’t sure

But you wouldn’t let all his efforts be in vain 😭

Izuna always had this positive, almost euphoric confidence in the future, in your love, in your success together, and didn’t accept anything that could contradict his vision of things

Izuna

The issue in this case started even before you got married

But to be honest, this was what first thing caught your attention when you met him

After living alone for years since you lost your family, he was the first person who convinced you to change your ways

He made you believe everything was possible, and to try and live happy again

Yes, even you, despite everything you’ve been through, felt the flames of hope waking up again inside your heart

Sometimes, you felt like Izuna had enough vital energy for you both

The sensation was such that after every meeting with him you needed some time by yourself to recover: his company was almost suffocating

He was also a man used to make important decisions quickly: he hated wasting time with deliberations, stating that this was a habit of old people

(Wasting time in his words, let’s be clear lol)

The idea of the marriage came from him, as expected

Of course you said yes: you loved him as much as you loved yourself, so the idea of being by his side forever was everything you could expect

And with your positive answer, Izuna has been more intense than ever

He made plans for you: the house you would share, the memories you would create in it, the life you would build there

Everything was fine, even when he forgot to ask your opinion

Until the moment he mentioned the children he expect to bring to the world with you

You knew that once Izuna got attached to an idea, it was impossible to make him change his mind, so things weren’t different with the fatherhood thing

In a short amount of time, this became the central theme of his dreams and his favorite thing to discuss with you

Well, to speak about with you, because you barely said anything during these conversations

Instead, you tried to appear as positive and supportive as you could

But as the days passed and the marriage came closer, it was getting harder for you to hide how much this was making you suffer

Because yes, Izuna knew you had no clan and no family, then being the last representative of your lineage, but you never had the courage to tell him about your infertility

And now that he seemed not to think of anything else than having kids with you, you couldn’t dream of ruining his happiness

(Fortunately Izuna was used to your quietness, so he never questioned your silence when he spoke about this)

You stayed strong until you could during the following weeks, but the day before the marriage had pushed you too far

You couldn’t – you simply could not ruin the life of the man you loved revealing that secret to him

So you decided you had to make a sacrifice, for the both of you

Early that day, before the sun appeared, you packed your things and left

You left no apology letter, no message of goodbye, nothing. You just left before anything could stop you or anyone could see you

You traveled alone during a couple of hours

You had no idea of where you were going, or what you were going to do when you had to stop at somewhere to rest, but you forbade yourself to think of coming back

At some moment, you looked at the sky and noticed the midday was close and felt hungry

You stopped under a tree and was about to unpack the food you brought with you when you saw you had company

You raised your eyes and, when you recognized Izuna standing there, staring at you with a look full of questions, you lost the last drop of balance you had in you

You cried so hard you thought you were going to pass out

He approached you was about to involve you in his arms, but you begged him not to touch you, claiming that you couldn’t marry him and that he must have not followed you

But Izuna was a persistent man, and after an hour trying to calm you down, he managed to make you speak

There was no point in hiding anything from him now, so you just told him everything

You explained that you’d marry him and make him the happiest man alive if it wasn’t for this dream with which you couldn’t help him

And that you couldn’t be so cruel to the point of bound him to you and deny him of this at the same time

When you finished your story, it was Izuna’s time to remain in silence

You could feel the rush of feelings stirring inside him as his eyes would go from one side to another, trying to assimilate all of that

You didn’t know if he was going to leave you there, to kill you or to burst in tears, and that was freaking you out

It was when you begged him to say something, anything, but not stay that quiet

And he spoke. But when he did, there was nothing but a restored passion in his tone

You didn’t understand that until he explained that he thought you were kidnapped or something worse happened, but he was glad that it was nothing like this

Before you could stop him, Izuna caught you in a tight embrace, telling you to never do that again

And that he was sorry for not letting you at will to take off this weight of you chest and that if he knew about this he would have never pushed you this far

You came back with him and the marriage happened as planned the next day

Some time later, you found about about a kid of an Uchiha couple that just lost their parents

You talked to each other and with the kid’s remaining family and came to the conclusion that they would live better with you

The family talked to the kid, and when you had your first meeting, you almost forgot about all the past suffering 🌹

#naruto requests #tobirama #madara #izuna uchiha #tobirama x reader #madara x reader #izuna x reader

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celeste-clearwater-06 · 3 years

Note

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write something about how the Fellowship (+ Thorin?) Would help a s/o who's Disabled and Chronically ill. Like she has a lot of symptoms like chronic pain, chronic fatigue, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing at times, difficulty walking at times, higher sensitivity to the cold, difficulty talking at times, and anxiety, depression and executive dysfunction?

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, namely my Autism, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, a really bad Overbite, Raynaud's Syndrome, Asthma, etc, so I'd really appreciate an Imagine like this. I have a really weird disorder where one of my legs is longer than the other, and it's been causing me a lot of pain and difficulty walking lately, and people have been bullying me for it a lot too, so I could really use a Comfort Imagine right now. Thanks so much hun!!

It's no problem! I'm glad I can provide some comfort!! For each character, I'll use a specific struggling area, to make it a bit easier!! I hope I got these accurate enough, and of there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out!! You are strong, beautiful and so, so amazing!! Keep being you!! ❤❤

Help (The Fellowship// Thorin x Fem!Reader)

Aragorn (Autism)

Aragorn has known you for a long time, so helping with your autism is not new for him

He's particularly experienced in reading your emotions and meeting your needs, whether it's helping you out of stressful situations or calming you down, he's there 🥺

If there are large and boisterous gatherings in Rivendell, its almost guaranteed that you can become over-stimulated quickly, and Aragorn immediately senses this (spidey senses õoõ)

He's fast to find your hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance

If that doesn't seem to help, he'll instantly stop what he's doing and take you out of the room

If you're someone who prefers lots of space and little physical contact, he is 100% respectful of this and asks if you'll let him touch or hug you (very much gentleman 😌)

If ever you're confronted by someone of importance, Aragorn is right by your side to ease some of the tension

Sometimes there are things you find difficult to say or get out of your system

The king seems to know exactly what it is and will help you out by saying it or asking you simple questions that you can easily answer

And he always reminds you, no matter WHAT

YOU ARE NOT STUPID 😤😡

You may struggle with some parts of your life, but every day, he's constantly telling you that you're very intelligent and kind

His patience is unending and he'll never let you think down on yourself

Overall, Aragorn is always someone and reminding you that it's all going to be okay ❤❤

Legolas (Anxiety)

Most nights, Legolas keeps watch (since elves don't require much sleep) and notices that you jolt awake out of the random

Now, most of the Fellowship notices that you're usually awake and ready to go before anyone else

But Legolas is really the one to address you first

You were a bit nervous to explain, since you didn't want to worry him or the great of the fellowship, amount the other disadvantages you have

He gently encouraged you, and finally, you explained to him your sleep apnea

Yeah, he was very concerned

I mean, his blue eyes widened with terror when you told him that you could basically die in your sleep if you weren't attentive enough 🙃

Legolas, from now on, sleeps directly next to you, or keeps extra careful watch over you at night

Because he could NEVER see his precious mortal friend become injured... Or worse 🥺🥺❤

The other members had noticed a change in his behaviors towards you as well...

Gimli teased him whenever he caught Legolas giving you some extra lembas bread or offered to carry you 👉👈

You really tried to assure Legolas that it wasn't a big deal when you were awake, since you're aware of your breathing situation

But still 😤

Legolas will always bring you comfort and take great care of you, and that will NEVER CHANGE

Because he loves you very much ❤🦋

Frodo (Anxiety)

Frodo is familiar with the feeling of great anxiety, seeing he had a stress-free life while living in the Shire and suddenly was forced to carry a piece of jewelry all the way to giant ass volcano

It's easy for you two to comfort each other and seek refuge in thoughts and feelings ❤

He's not super comfortable with the thought of you having a panic attack though...

Only because he's never had one

It starts to give him a panic attack whenever you have one around him the first time 😳-

Any time you begin to breathe heavy or hyperventilate, halfling boy is hot at your heels, rubbing your back and reminding you to breathe gently

(So many hugs, if you're up for it)

After you calm down, he's constantly checking on you, asking if you need anything etc.

Really, he just wants to know if he can help 🥺

And even with the weight and stress of carrying the ring, Frodo manages to cheer you up somehow

Samwise (Asthma)

Sam has never had to deal with asthma once in his life

He's very nervous when the subject is brought, afraid it might trigger something inside of you 🥺👉👈

But you just chuckle, assure him that it's alright, and you have ways of keeping it under control

And now, he wants to know everything about it, just to have the awareness in case something happens

Sam just wants to protect you forever, and this was a great way for him to start

He constantly reminds Aragorn that you'll need breathing breaks and will convince Gandalf to let you ride on his horse

He'll scold Pip and Merry if they are trying to drag you around and be silly, because as he says

"You'll rouse him/her/them up! We can't have Y/N gettin injured!" 🤨😠

Sam is MOM

As always, he's very kind and always makes sure your needs are met ❤🥺

Pippin and Merry (Raynaud's Syndrome)

Very confused halfings 🤔

Also extremely concerned!

You were eating one of the lesser pleasurable nights

It was cold and rainy, and a fire couldn't be started, not to mention the quiet arguments of Aragorn and Gandalf in the nearby woods

And Pip's eyes widened when he saw the tips of your petite fingers begin to pale upon hearing Aragorn mention Orcs

"What's wrong with your hands?!" He squeaked, pointing towards your now white-colored fingertips

You hadn't even noticed, nor felt, considering they were numb anyways

Merry looked over his cousin's shoulder and his eyes also widened, not with fright, but wonder

They were both fascinated with your condition, convinced that you were casting some spell Gandalf showed you

Although you reassured them it was just an extremely frustrating inconvenience that you had, among other things

So from then on, the disastrobus duo did their best to keep you out of the cold (and stressful situations!!)

As a distraction, the pair will tell you great stories of the shire, doing little dances and skits that always cheer you up 🥴

Sometimes, they can be a little rambunctious though...

Merry will pick up on this fact quickly, and nudge Pippin to get him to calm down

Even though it may not feel the best

They find your syndrome absolutely fascinating!! 🤔🤔

All in all, these two are always up for keeping your beautiful smile on your face and your spirits high!! ❤🌺

Boromir (Depression)

Throughout the journey, Boromir has always found an easy way to make you smile

After all, he himself has a fascinating way of brightening anyone's spirits

Yours included ❤

Boromir may not have great stories from The Shire, like Pip and Merry, but he sure has a lot of positive things to say

He'll often suggest sparring with the two troublemaking halflings, just so you can see him goof up and get knocked over 🥺

If the nights become cold and weary, he'll give you a warm hug or a nudge on the shoulder

And a few words of helpful encouragement along the lines of;

"Don't fret Y/N. You have more strength than you'll ever know."

"Let our spirits never dampen! We've come this far!" 😊

He's also an incredible listener

Boromir wants to hear what you have to say if you ever need to rant or get something off of your chest

And don't think for a second that he would ever judge you 😤

Son of Gondor sees past all of your insecurities and knows you for your beautiful, amazing self ❤❤

Gimli (Walking disadvantages)

As you travel across great plains and mountains, your limp doesn't go unnoticed by Gimli

It may take him a while to open up about it, since he's afraid he might offend you in some way

And once he asks you, you inform him that it's a difficulty that unfortunately cannot be changed any time soon

And where you come from, lots of people tease and bully you about it

He did NOT handle it well 😳

"wHAT BLUBBERING DULL-MINDED PIGNUTS-" 🤬

Although this Dwarf is short and a bit slow at times

He's fascinatingly strong 😳

And so, he makes it his duty to be your designated carrier 🥺

At first, your a tad skeptical...

I mean, he's only around 4 feet tall...

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROW THAT HUGE AX AROUND?!

Gimli will happily carry you great distances when you need a break, and even longer

(Sometimes it's just to show off around the others-)

"Gimli, are you sure you don't want a break?"

"Aye lass! The strength of Dwarves is unending!" 😌

*struggling to breathe*

11/10, fantastic dwarf, will never let you down!!

Thorin (Executive Dysfunction)

Another Dwarf??

Absolutely

Thorin himself has trouble keeping composure with his time management (and sense of direction 🙄)

This means that he'll have an undying amount of patience for you and you only

There's just something about you that he fond of, and it fills in that little sassy, brooding place in his heart

Can also relate to you whenever you grow frustrated at the setback of your journey or lack of sleep

Is 100% willing to help you find your lost belongings (and once again, ONLY YOU)

Thorin will literally make the whole traveling party stop so that you can put something in your bag and make sure that you put it somewhere you'll remember

Always happy to give you extra gentle reminders of keeping your pack closed

The company is utterly SHOCKED with how he treats you

I mean, this man has always been extremely stubborn and hard headed

But when you show up, it's another person he can easily relate and share frustrations with

Also a master at organization?!? 🤔

The one thing he could do successfully was organizing the damn journey and traveling company, so ofc he's gonna be good at that 😂

Yeah, Thorin definitely has a soft spot for you

King under the mountain will never run out of patience and kindness for you 😌💙

Sorry these took so long!! I hope you like them!! ❤❤

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tanadrin · 3 years

Text

Dev Patel and the Green Knight

I finally got around to seeing The Green Knight. Overall, I enjoyed it--David Lowery does a good job capturing the essential weirdness of the tale, which is very much about taking a mundane circumstance (a Christmas feast) and suddenly catapulting the reader into a mythic otherworld through the intrusion of the alien and monstrous, and the fantastical costumes, dramatic lighting, and dissonant score all contribute very well to a sense of otherness that permeates the original story.

But I find it interesting--and, I'll admit, a little frustrating--that no modern film adaptation of medieval literature is really capable of taking the story it's adapting on its own merits. This isn't an objection to modifying the source text, or taking it in new, non-literal direction. I can think of plenty of adaptations of work that play with the source material in interesting ways, and are better for it. Even very faithful adaptations like Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings are inevitably going to alter the source based on the need to adapt it for the screen and the whims of the director. But when it comes to medieval classics, texts like Beowulf or Gawain and the Green Knight are always held at arm's length. An ironic layer is always interpolated into the original story, and even in modified form the story is never allowed to stand on its own.

Contrast, for instance, modern retellings of Arthurian legend; or Wagner's Nibelungenleid; or something like Neil Gaiman's book of Norse mythology. These are all adaptations of much older stories, all medieval; and the authors typically happy to let the stories operate on their own terms. In fact, that is often a selling point: dipping into these tales is a way of sampling an alien culture, one that is remote from us in time rather than space, and part of the sense of heightened drama is the understanding that these stories do not necessarily depict the world in the same way that modern realist prose does. They are fairy-stories, in the Tolkienian sense, and something not quite even like "high fantasy," which, although it is a genre which owes much to the mythic tradition, is usually *told* in the same manner as other realist fiction. And you could take these stories and re-cast them in a realist mold--that's definitely been done with Arthurian legend, either via anachronism or trying to place them in an era-appropriate historical context, and even that yields something quite like the original in tenor, even if the language used to relate the story is often very different.

Watching this movie, I was *strongly* reminded of Robert Zemeckis's Beowulf, in that this did not feel like an attempt to adapt Gawain and the Green Knight for the screen. It felt like an attempt to tell a story *about* Gawain and the Green Knight (the text), a story which does not stand on its own. You don't have to have read the text to understand the movie (although I think some directorial decisions would be a bit mystifying if you hadn't), but the movie definitely situates itself *as a response* to the text. Which is an odd choice! Actually, another good point of comparison is Spike Jonze's Adaptation. It started life as an adaptation of Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief, but Charlie Kaufman sort of gave up writing that halfway through and wrote a movie about the difficulty he was having writing *that* movie, and the result is something very weird (and very good) that is full of metafictional elements that depend on the existence of this other work, in a way that a straight retelling of The Orchid Thief for the screen obviously would not. And while The Green Knight isn't that extreme, it is definitely playing on the structure of the medieval poem, and replying to it.

The core of the movie (as I understood it) is a tension between young Gawain's aspiration to knightliness, his ambition which is born at least in part from his mother's encouragement, and his own failure to live up to the heroic ideal of greatness. Not chivalric--this is a movie in which the ethos of chivalry makes not even the briefest of appearance, which is weird given that it's nominally an Arthurian romance, and that the chivalric ethos is extremely important to the original text. Instead we have a generic greatness being described, one which is associated with renown, with taking part in mythic events, and with achieving high rank and honor. In the service of seeing her son obtain all this, Gawain's mother seems to cast some kind of spell, whereupon the titular Green Knight appears at Arthur's Christmas-feast; and as in the poem, a game of beheadings is proffered. Gawain accepts the challenge, beheads the knight, and the knight rides away, promising he'll meet Gawain a year and a day hence at the Green Chapel. So far so straightforward. When Gawain sets off a year later to meet the knight, his mother gives him an enchanted belt to keep him safe from harm. Gawain goes on to have a couple of side-of-the-road adventures and mishaps, the kind of thing that's par for the course when you're telling an Arthurian romance, until he arrives at the house of a mysterious benefactor, just about a day away from the Chapel, who grants him hospitality until the day of his challenge.

Now, in the original story, this is where Gawain gets the magic belt, and it's hugely important: Gawain and his host promise to exchange anything they might receive at the end of each day, when the host has been out hunting all day and Gawain has been in the house recuperating from his travels. During this time, the host's wife repeatedly tries to seduce Gawain; and Gawain is trapped between the imperative not to sleep with his host's wife (a major violation of the rules of good chivalric conduct!) and the imperative not to offend the woman (also a violation of those rules). He succeeds, for the most part; he is forced at one point to give his host a kiss at the end of the day, since the wife kissed him; this is shown as him holding nothing back and acting in good faith on the vow he made to his host. When Gawain finally rebuffs the wife for good, she insists that, even if he won't sleep with her, he should at least take a magic belt she has woven that will keep him from harm. He does; but he does *not* give this to his host. When he finally goes to the Green Chapel, the Knight returns the original blow as promised--but only nicks Gawain lightly. He reveals himself to be none other than the host who was sheltering him; the nick was his reprimand for withholding that final gift, but because of his good conduct he is otherwise left unharmed. The whole thing was a test of sorts, one which Gawain passed. Despite flinching at first from the blow, and keeping the belt secret, he shows himself ultimately to be a man of good (albeit not perfect) conduct, and *that* is why he wins honor from the whole affair.

The movie takes this basic narrative and alters it in key places, completely changing the valence of the whole thing. First, Gawain gets the belt at the beginning of his quest, as mentioned; he loses it on the way, but when he reaches the castle, the wife of his host (who succeeds in seducing him with a handjob) presents it to him as if she had woven it herself. He does not actually engage in the game of exchanged with his host, who is *also* not the Green Knight. And we're treated to a monologue about the color green from the wife that feels beat for beat like it's been ripped off from someone's undergraduate essay about Gawain and the Green Knight, which is a little weird even in the context of the rest of the movie. Finally when Gawain reaches the chapel, the knight goes to return the blow--and Gawain completely chickens out and flees. We are then treated to an extended sequence of Gawain returning home; being feted as a hero; earning his knighthood (presumably by lying about what happened); succeeding Arthur as king; him abandoning his low-class beau once she bears him a son, and marrying a princess; going to war; his son dying in a war; and finally, as an old man, being trapped in his throne room as a besieging army breaks its way inside. Just before they do, he removes the magic belt from around his waist, his head fall off, and bam--we're shown this has been an Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge thing this whole time, and the Green Knight has not yet landed his blow.

Gawain finally takes off the belt, throws it aside, and tells the knight to go ahead--and the knight bends down and congratulates him. In context, the reading seems to be this: the belt is a talisman of Gawain's mother's influence, of external expectations for what kind of man he is. The Knight is Arthur or perhaps an agent of his, and the test in *this* case is whether Gawain can be his own person. All the events leading up to this point are perhaps a part of the original magic Gawain's mother cast, an effort to Lilith Weatherwax her kid to greatness by putting him into an epic story. Implicitly, then, the Gawain and the Green Knight we all know is the false version of the tale, the tale as Gawain's mother would have it told.

This is all very clever. But I'm afraid it's so clever it falls apart in the end. Because the structure of the original story that this depends on is dependent in turn on taking the whole notion of chivalric virtue seriously, which this movie plainly does not. Gawain is shown as irreverent and lustful and a bit of a party animal--lovable and good hearted fundamentally, but definitely not an Arthurian hero. That's fine, but that's a very modern sort of character, one that feels out of place in a movie that is trying very hard also to be tonally unmodern, firmly embedded in a mythic otherwhen of Arthurian legend. Moments of slice-of-life mundaneness, while charming, strain mightily against the epic tone the movie tries to take in other places, and strange events like a ghost seeking her lost head or immense giants striding the landscape. We are jostled: are we in the land of myth? Or are we in historical Britain? We cannot be in both!

And this is a movie that was definitely made by people who had read the original text; not just the original text, but also a great deal of criticism *about* the original text. The movie namechecks the theme of fivefold symmetry that's incredibly important to the structure of the poem; there's the aforementioned undergrad essay about colors about 3/4th of the way through; and there's the fact that the structure of the original plot (down to Morgan LeFay in disguise as an old woman in the host's castle) is present in altered form in every detail. But none of these details add up to much. There's a weird homoerotic kiss with the host that implies that in fact *he* wanted to sleep with Gawain, in addition to his wife; the ghost Gawain encounters early on tells him the Green Knight is in fact someone he knows (and therefore *can't* be the host; I think it's implied to be Arthur, like I said, but this is never quite confirmed), and while all these things *about* the original poem are shown, none of them ever get integrated thematically into the plot.

I think as a result, whatever Lowery was going for, the whole movie kind of falls apart in the end. And that's a pity, because somewhere in there is just a really weird, visually striking, really gripping, embellished-and-polished-for-modern-sensibilities-but-also-thematically-true-to-the-source retelling of Gawain and the Green Knight. And that would have been a much better movie! What are we to make of this, a movie that purports to be telling a story-behind-the-story, but one that leaves no room or context for the original? After all, Gawain in the end does *not* flee, does not return home a coward and a liar; presumably, he earns his honor, and can be honest about what happened. But if he is honest, none of the rest of what we have been shown makes a lick of sense, or has any point.

One feels a bit as if modern directors, when confronted with medieval texts being a bit weird, a bit alien in their worldview, instead of realizing that's actually something people like some of from time to time, feel like they have to construct an artificial bridge between the Middle Ages and the present day. But because it is invariably metafictional and self-referential, as if to say "don't worry, we know nobody REALLY wants to watch a bunch of boring medieval shit played straight," it comes off as cringing and ashamed of its source material. This isn't a plea for historicity! Gawain and the Green Knight is not history. But one does occasionally want to see an adaptation of one's favorite works without directors being ashamed of the text they are adapting! And since most people will not have read the original, I am rather confused about what the director intends for the audience to get out of all these references that are dependent on it, but don't stand on their own merits within the narrative of the movie itself.

The acting was good, the set design and costumes were terrific, I loved the slow and measured pacing and the weird score, and the design of the Knight himself, and the landscapes and almost everything else about the movie. So I don't think it's a waste of time, especially if you have read and enjoyed Gawain and the Green Knight, in the original or in translation. But it's definitely a pity to see a movie that was, well, *almost* great, but ended up merely OK.

#gotta put that undergraduate degree to work from time to time #we spent a *lot* of time on this poem

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blue-is-a-sapphic-color · 3 years

Note

yo I don't have time nor brain to enter the discussion at large but regarding this:

'i don’t think the disc finale was staged because i believe Dream’s “the ends justify the means” mindset is strong enough to lead him to genuinely try and bring the server together through blackmail.'

- these things are not mutually exclusive imo, he could've staged the finale with Punz in order to bring everyone together against him as an extension of the end justifying the means, the means being sacrificing himself for the goal. like at the end of the day if he knew they will come for him or didn't know they will come for him doesnt change the fact that they all came for him yknow? I think it's not outside of the realm of possibility for him to go 'okay if they all come here and lock me in the prison they'll be united against me and I'll be outside the picture and everyone will be one happy family'. he probably didn't count on c!Tommy being willing to take all his lives and everyone else just watch it so he had to save his ass with the book-

like I know we both in our hearts agree he's not the master manipulator everyone thinks and he is, at the end of the day, a moron (/hj) but I can see the 'finale was staged' theory work with that in mind :D - Lost

(just for context, this ask is referencing this post)

I think something just clicked! you're right. but you're also wrong! these things are not mutually exclusive, it's true! right now, i can almost seamlessly switch between c!Dream knowing they'll come and c!Dream not knowing, it doesn't really matter. But at the same time, it's still not the same thing!

There are now three distinct interpretations in my mind:

self-aware, self-sacrificing c!Dream

somewhat self-aware, self-dehumanizing c!Dream

not self-aware, self-destructive c!Dream

They can work as a sort of… spectrum of c!Dream interpretations. There are obviously a lot of other factors that these brief synopses don’t consider! For example, does c!Dream, in any of these interpretations, believe he’s bad? Not that he’s actions are bad, but that he, himself is bad?

Let’s start.

Self-aware, self-sacrificing c!Dream is what some people call the strategist c!Dream. He’s ruthless, and he knows it. His “the ends justify the means” mindset applies to himself too. He consciously sacrificed himself at the disc finale to unite the server against him.

This c!Dream probably has or had an escape plan that could’ve been compromised, leading him to the situation he’s in now. He plans his speeches and probably even rehearses them. He curates them to each person, knowing which taunts work better on which members, explaining the different ways he talks to different groups of people.

He has a cruel streak, but he also self-reflects and isn’t ‘evil’ for the sake of being evil. He’s focused and measured in his responses but can sometimes be impulsive. He cares very deeply for everything and everyone in the server, cutting his connection to his best friends to both keep them safe when his downfall came and to spare them the hurt of having to move on from him.

He conceals his feelings to not appear weak. He’s tired of having the whole server on his shoulders and exhausted from having to keep up his perfectly constructed ‘big bad villain’ facade. He’s a close friend of Punz, who helped him execute the disc finale. He’s like an older brother to Enderboo. He’s plagued with nightmares.

He’s the cool c!Dream.

Somewhat self-aware, self-dehumanizing c!Dream looks similar to cool c!Dream in his execution of the disc finale but his thought process is completely different. He’s ruthless because he needs to be. His “the ends justify the means” mindset applies to himself too, but not in a conscious way. He views himself so much like a weapon, a tool, a means to an end, that he doesn’t care if he is the way to accomplish his goal.

He was originally going use the vault of attachments to blackmail the server into unity, and if all else failed he would still use it in a heartbeat, but he realized that using himself to create a server-wide threat was much more efficient. What he tells Tommy and Tubbo at the finale is a mix of truth and overdramatization, blended with some things he makes up hoping it sticks.

He’s cruel because that’s the only way he’ll get anything done. He leaned into his whole ‘big bad villain’ persona so much that he has trouble separating it from his own personality. This scares him. He cares very deeply for everything and everyone in the server, sometimes to the point of blinding him to their needs. He regrets how things ended between him and his best friends, but thinks, in the end, it was for the best.

He hides his feelings because he’s afraid, and feels more at ease when he’s in control. He’s lonely in his desperate journey to seek what was once a healthy server, having only his tentative friendship with Enderboo to fall back on. He cries himself to sleep.

He’s the tragic c!Dream.

Not self-aware, self-destructive c!Dream believes in every. single. word. that comes out of his mouth because he forced himself to believe them. He’s ruthless because there’s no other way. He repeated “the ends justify the means” over and over again until his hands stopped trembling, the grip on his axe turning steady, and his voice didn’t waver, no longer choking up when he threatened to murder his family.

His plan was always to use the vault of attachments to blackmail the server back to what it used to be. He means what he tells Tommy and Tubbo at the finale, but doesn’t know if he would truly be capable of carrying it out, in the end.

He’s cruel because he doesn’t know any better. He thought other members of the server agreed with his methods and was blindsided by the finale, although deep down he might’ve known it was a possibility and let it happen anyway. He cares so deeply for everything and everyone in the server that it consumed him, making him do absolutely anything to achieve his goal.

He can’t let anyone know what he feels or else it will be used against him, just like everything he ever cared about. That’s why he let his best friends leave him. He misses them so much. He’s alone. So incredibly alone in his hopeless attempt at peace. He desperately needs control, and craves validation for his actions. He doesn’t sleep, not anymore.

He’s my c!Dream.

#what's yours?#dreblr #c!dream #dream smp #tw mental instability #tw mental deterioration #tw murder mention #tw dehumanization #my analysis #my writing #ask

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laceymorganwrites · 3 years

Text

One of us

Word count: 1,979

Pairing: none

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse

Summary: Illumi tries to rebel, leading right to you and the troupe. His shackles break, he tastes freedom for the first time.

It was the most dangerous point this time of the year, the time when the troupe had to change their hideout.

You didn´t really have to but there have been incidents in the past that made you extra careful now, incidents that started the whole Zoldyck hatred in your group.

Well hatred would mean fear as well which wasn´t the case, they were more of a nuisance, a wasp that always came back to eat the cake even though you flicked it away so many times already.

Though you had to give it to them, they tried, always came back even though they knew they´d lose. Just like all the other times.

It was like a game of cat and mouse, hide and seek.

It would´ve been fun if it wasn´t so annoying.

You had to admit that it was kind of funny to see those old guys chase after you, with such a laughable ambition in their eyes. What were they even trying to achieve? Honestly, you were just trying to live your life and have some fun. As far as you were concerned you never interfered with anyone of them or their acquaintances if they had any.

Well, maybe they were just trying to stay relevant in the underground and took every job they could get even though they could never even hope to finish it.

Quite a sad fate but that was what you got when you just wouldn´t learn your lesson.

Being stubborn wasn´t always the key to being successful.

“Where are we going this time, captain?” you asked, peaking out your head from behind the boxes you were carrying.

“Oh! How about somewhere near a beach? I haven´t been on vacation in so long” Machi chimed in, a dreamy expression in her eyes.

“Wait actually, how about a vacation? I mean we don´t really have any jobs right now, why not take a day or two off?” you supported her statement.

Everyone seemed to agree with the idea but Chrollo was reluctant. “We should move somewhere safe first and make sure the Zoldycks are busy with something else. I´ll think about it then” he let you know.

After they killed one of you he became paranoid, even more than he already was.

And you couldn´t blame him.

Chrollo didn´t have it easy in the first place managing the spider, being able to stay hidden and without anyone bothering you.

“Alright. I´ll check the route” you said, making yourself useful and making sure nobody would follow you.

As you stepped out of the hideout and looked around everything was in the clear, you nodded at Phinks and Uvogin who were responsible for driving the trucks with all your belongings.

The two men helped carry the last boxes inside the trunks and then you all joined them in the cars.

Chrollo was on edge, you could tell, the way he stared outside the window so paranoid as if you´d get attacked the next second.

“We´re almost there, captain. I can´t sense anyone but us, it´s gonna be over soon” you tried to calm him down, he appreciated it, just nodding.

His jaw was still clenched, but that was just how he was, always looking out for others and disregarding himself in the process.

When you arrived it was a bit too quiet for your liking, the others were careful too.

“I´m going to check it out, you guys can start unpacking already” you said and walked around the property. This time you chose an abandoned hotel, the furniture was still in tact and Shalnark could work very well in the security and control room.

You decided to work on the basement together, making a nice playroom for Feitan.

The building was big enough so that there was something for everyone, the location was very well hidden too, so maybe you could stay here longer this time. You´d like that.

Carefully and observant you looked around and walked everywhere around the property, nobody else was here besides you, but you could feel something. It made you uneasy. And yet it wasn´t a threatening aura.

That was it. An aura.

Anyone who´d come to attack you would conceal it, so why…. Why was this person here? And more importantly: where were they?

You frowned, being even more careful now and not making it as obvious that you were looking around. Hell, you even laid against a brick wall as to show how much you didn´t know what was going on. You let your guard down in hopes of them doing it too.

But Illumi was even more careful. This was the most important mission in his life, the mission to gain his parents´ approval and love, failure was not an option.

No matter what you do, don´t mess with the spiders. They´re not worth the effort and work. That´s what they always told him. And he had believed them his whole life, not even questioning it once.

But rather than doing exactly that and becoming aware of the fact that he was stronger than his parents thought he could ever be, in a way that wasn´t self destructive, in a way that wasn´t manipulative, he decided to make this rule something twisted.

Illumi knew what sort of punishment waited for him for breaking that rule, after all his family were the only ones who were still able to actually hurt him.

However he saw it as a chance, if he broke the rule and succeeded in killing them that would only show them what a great assassin they made of him, he wondered if his parents would finally be proud of him then.

“You don´t have any ill intent, how can I help you?” you faced him, still not seeing him but you could sense his nen well enough.

Illumi stayed hidden for a bit, how could you detect him? That messed up his plan quite the bit, but he didn´t have time to let it get to him.

He watched you from afar again, watching you just stand there unguarded. It was naive and stupid but so calculated, he rather felt like prey in a trap now, not the other way around. You made him uneasy and that excited him.

Maybe it wouldn´t hurt to play this game of catch with you, after all there was no hurt in having fun in his job, was there? Perhaps he was just playing with fire, you had challenged him for something he couldn´t calculate, for something he wasn´t ready for. It was exciting beyond belief.

“Ah, there you are~” you grinned when Illumi finally revealed himself.

“It´s not wise to be out here on your own, not calling anyone for help when you know someone´s here to harm you” he coldly stated, though it wasn´t really cold, it was just… distant, uncaring. There was no emotion behind it at all and yet all of them were. Maybe you were delusional but you could swear that you saw deep grief in his eyes, an even deeper hatred and regret.

Still, you didn´t know him, you doubted the others did as well.

“Yeah well it´s kind of obligatory to face danger in my work, so what brings you here? Something personal or just a job?” you couldn´t deny the fact that you were curious. After all it was pretty easy figuring out that he was an assassin as well. That only made things more interesting though.

“A bit of both” he answered truthfully. Again. No emotion in it at all. And somehow that just drew you in all the more.

“I see, well… hate to rain on your parade but we´re not really the types of people who get taken out easily. Or at all for that matter. But since you seem like a nice guy I´ll let you go before you make any stupid decisions” you offered him, Illumi was trained that nobody could ever trace his true intentions but all that training might as well be useless. Your intuition was better than that.

“I´m afraid I can´t do that. If I leave now everything will be over. I´ve come too far already to give up now” he let you know. Leaving for him would mean admitting to his parents that he broke their rule, he didn´t want to be punished like that ever again. He wanted to be free of them. Free for good this time.

But you were right, this was stupid to begin with. He knew how dangerous the spider was, he knew he wasn´t strong enough on his own. He sighed, the first sign of humanity he showed ever since he appeared. “I won´t kill you. But I can´t return either… this is inconvenient” he shook his head, thinking. Just what was he supposed to do now?

“Tell you what, why don´t you join us? You look like you have some tragic past, fits the job description” you grinned a bit.

Inviting him was a stupid idea, you knew that. But you felt sorry for him somehow. He clearly didn´t have a place where he belonged and to you that was just sad. Because you knew that everyone had a place to belong to, no matter how fucked up and broken they were.

“Pardon? I´m afraid that´s the worst idea I´ve ever heard” he said, appalled. Human emotion detected!

“Bad ideas make for good stories, what do you have to lose?” you grinned, curious about his answer.

Illumi had to chuckle at that. “Nothing anymore actually. I would´ve said my family but I never had one to begin with” his eyes were so empty when he said that, it made you sad.

Though they also held that sorrowful look in them, that realization that he could never have a normal family, that he could never be truly happy and he shouldn´t care, he knew he shouldn´t but … he couldn´t help it. It wasn´t his fault. It was engraved in him from childhood.

“Well now you do! Welcome to the spider” you smiled and practically dragged him along into the hideout with you.

To say the rest was shocked would be an understatement. Alarmed would be more fitting. After all you just brought their enemy into the hideout. However even they had to admit after a while that Illumi was anything but an enemy. Sure at first he was quite awkward and didn´t know how to act around everyone. But that was the thing, he didn´t have to act anymore.

For the first time in his life he could be himself, for the first time he had a chance to figure out who the hell that even was.

He fit right in into the troupe, they were all outcasts in their own way, each had their weird quirks about them and that was just what made them unique and special, that wasn´t a bad thing like he had been taught. After a while he even opened up enough to laugh and joke around with everyone. Though his way of laughing was just smiling ever so slightly that you wouldn´t even notice it if you didn´t look hard enough.

But you did. And the others did too. You cared about Illumi, he was one of you now, everyone would want to read him and they were patient enough to wait for him to open up, he was a great addition to your little makeshift family. And he was funny. Illumi had a dark humor but when you got it, it was the funniest thing you´ve ever heard. It even had Chrollo chuckling. And for him that was the highest of expressions and the biggest compliment.

And when Illumi´s former family attacked he fought on his real family´s side. He fought for himself, to keep this freedom, this inner peace, this adventure and excitement he´s never known before.

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