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moonsquaremars · 3 years

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11th house thoughts

Hi everybody.

I have an 11th house stellium, and I love it. Probably because my venus is in there, der planet of luv, as well as mars, lust et aggression, and mercury, th’ intellect.

My sun missed it shy of 1° ; had i been born just a few minutes earlier, I would have been an 11th house sun. But I’m a twelfer. Why, might you ask? My mother has an 11th house stellium afterall, so did my ex-boyfriend. Well, if you ask, my father is a twelfth house sun.

And I’m learning to live with that.

Just kidding. Anyways, I love my 11th house stellium. If you’re unfamiliar, the eleventh house is ruled by aquarius. Each of the twelve houses in astrology corelate to each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. The planet which governs both this house and sign is the planet of Uranus, which is my favorite one in our solar system :) I did a random generator a guy posted on reddit to find out which planet is dominant in your chart, and when I plugged everything in, I got Uranus. I was actually quite surprised by this, but overjoyed. I love everything uranus represents. Eccentricity, humanitarianism, chaos.

I am a cancer sun, though, and virgo moon. Cancer rules the moon, so wouldn’t that be my dominant planet? Or is it just my chart ruler? I don’t know. But the moon is so fleeting. Kind of chaotic, actually. Since the moon passes each sign every few days, that’s what makes us cancers so moody. We feel the energy of all the signs within a months time. Can you imagine how that feels? constantly knowing what other people are feeling and thinking? Or maybe I’m just imagining it. I am crazy, after all :p

I digress. The 11th house is fabulous. It rules the finer things in life. My ex-boyfriend was a dandy man, took me to fancy restaurants and hotels, the works. I need that sort of thing, I admire and crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very in tune with income inequality and the social issues that plague the world. But I still love dressing up in fancy clothes for a decadent night out. I suppose this is attributed to my stellium, but I’ll take it. A stellium by the way is when you have three or more planets in one house.

It’s kind of odd that my mom has an eleventh house stellium because we grew up quite poor. Nothing about her really screams fancy besides the fact that she adores drinking wine, is beautiful, and we live fancier only if you put us in to comparison with poorer people around us. We did grow up wearing nice clothes though. My mom would buy us second hand designer brand clothes like tommy hilfiger. Maybe that’s not designer, maybe that’s just brand name. I’m from Kentucky, give me a break. But we Kentucky fancy, baby.

Uranus being my dominant and favorite planet, is in my 7th house, the house of libra and relationships. Perhaps someone could pull up my chart {in the tags] and enlighten me on why it might be my dominant planet. I might also add that my draconic moon is in aquarius, which is supposely what your ‘soul’ truly is. I don’t quite believe that, because I think the soul is larger and smaller than the twelve signs of our universe. Or maybe just our solar system. At least of our conscience understanding of things at this time. Astrology is just a bunch of symbols made of our world to organize and communicate ieas n information. It’s not much more than that.

I recall being very internet savvy in middle and high school. My north node and chiron are in my third house, house of gemini and communication. All of my 11th house stellium planets are also in gemini. I see this being accurate because I am rather small in frame, standing at 5 foot 9 and weighing 125 pounds since I was thirteen years old. My mouth gets me in trouble, whether it’s from accidentally offending or just not being able to shut up! I would constantly be editing my myspace profile, using html codes, messing with the layout and how it interacted with my profile picture and song, and anything else I added to it. I loved it, and then that transitioned to my tumblr blog which I did in high school. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t die out, it’s definitely not what it used to be. Later when stumbleupon was something, I would look up things about futurism, humanism, design. I loved reading about the future. It made me so freaking excited. Like what will life be like in 2040? So cool! Or 2600? Then it made me sad once I accounted my age into the picture. I don’t wanna be 40! and that’s so far away! I hate waiting.

I’ll end this post on something interesting I noticed. My boyfriend of a year had an eleventh house stellium. After we broke up, I had two guys I was interested in. I was actually quite torn, because they were both so amazing, but so different. One was elegant and familiar with astrology and addiction issues and had money. He was like this worldly man with fantastic package hehe helped cure this mundane “what’s the point?” feeling I had about learning languages and stuff. He made me feel like there was in fact a point to all of it. He’s a scorpio just like me mum and we just had great chemistry. But I was already seeing a nother guy, who was this gentle, down the earth, all around manly man’s man. I loved him, but in a different way. He was simple, but the first time I slept over at his house, he picked me up in this kinda old but kinda new like beat up stick shift hyudai sedan. He reminded me of Wario. But he had an amazing package as well. we mostly just slept though ,and when I slept with him, I felt like I was back in bed with my father when I was like five or seven years old. I already know how that sounds, and I know the childish bunch of you or dommage who lack a healthy relationship with your father if y’ar, are going to come for me and say that’s gross or messed up or perverted or weird. It’s not. I don’t want to fuck my father, I never have, and I never will. I really don’t want to open this can of worms because I could go on about people I’ve met who have been sexually assaulted by their fathers or who have an incest fetish and I’m not trying to shame any of those people. But, I felt like I was back in bed with my father like i was when i was a kid while I was laying with him, and that was a really, really, really good feeling. I never forgot it. He had an aries sun, which I used to hate aries. It was my least favorite sign, and probably still is tbh, along with aquarius LOL. Oh and his moon was in taurus which explained everything. My dad is a taurus sun, as are my two sisters, my grandpa, and one of my good friends, Chelsea. My moon is in virgo in the second house, which is the house of taurus.

Well, mr. fancy pants had an 11th house stellium, and my down to earth sweet S had a third house stellium. Finding these things out did nothing to absolve my confusion, only added to the ache of not knowing which to choose. Talk about love triangle though. It did make me realize why I was in this predicament though, and I suppose it worked out because I don’t really talk to either guy anymore. But The seventh and third houses are also air houses, just like the 11th.

11th house - Aquarius/uranus,

7th house - libra/venus,

3rd house - gemini/mercury

That’s all for tonight. I’m ever behind on french homework, so I oughtta go take care of that. I want to write on the twelfth house, since my sun is in there as well as my father’s, and why I don’t appreciate its doom and gloom persona. If each house correlates to a sign, then the twelfth’s would be house of pisces. Pisces is the last sign with a bad stereotype. At least from my perception, it’s one of the best. So humanistic and kind. So why is its house the house of prison and addictions and psych wards and have all this hubbub, this &thatt?

Au revoir! -K ý ll

#astronotes #11th house #astrology #aquarius #stellium #uranus #eleventh house #astro notes #uranus astrology #11th house stellium #gemini stellium #libra #Mercury in Gemini #gemini #sun in 12th #12th house #sun in cancer #7th house #3rd house

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beelspillowpet · 3 years

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If your requests are open and your willing to, would you be able to do the brothers reacting to a trans MC? 👉🏻👈🏻 preferably female to male, but either way is fine! Sorry if your not comfy with this type of request >~<

Anon, just because you were afraid that I would turn down your request, I am going to PROVE to you how much it doesn’t bother me I'm going to do the 7 brothers AND the side characters. Because you BETTER BELEIVE we have a cast of supportive people!! Yessir!!!

I myself am the twin sister of my late twin brother, who was also FtM! I’ll be using his memory as inspiration, if you do not mind? Thank you for requesting this!

Lucifer

At first he presumed you were just not girly. He didn't really mind your behavior or way of dressing, so long as you got your tasks done on time and were on your best behavior.

When you cut your hair and stopped wearing that nail polish (despite Asmo’s pleading) he still thought nothing of it. You wore pants, and started trying your best to drop hints, and thankfully, Lucifer isn’t an idiot.

So what you’re telling me is that we’ve made you uncomfortable when referring to you as a woman? If that is the case, MC, then we would be more than happy to refer to you as anything you request. You only need to say the word.

He is dedicated to making sure you’re happy and comfortable here. He and his brothers may be demons, but they aren’t heartless. They were once angels too. He goes through the process with you, if you were shaky or unsure of what to do in the past. If you want HRT, surgery, need a new wardrobe, he and his brothers will be the first to provide. Whatever to keep you happy in your skin.

Mammon

Oh. Honestly speaking, he’ll still love you regardless of what form your body takes. He liked the way you looked, but secretly he can’t wait to see how you’ll look after you transition.

Before we even get to that point though, it takes a lot of hint dropping for him to get it. And even then, he has to go and ask the others what you’re trying to tell him. Of course he gets picked on a little bit for it, but once he figures it out he’s really happy you were comfortable enough to tell him.

Hell, he might get a job just so he can help you be able to afford all the things you’ll need to properly transition. Some of the details make him blush quite a bit, and if you’re uncomfortable with touches or any signs of affection during your process of transitioning, he will politely refrain from making his human uncomfortable.

He’s taking you to Majolish and you are going to get your ENTIRE wardrobe redone. Courtesy of The GREAT Mammon! You should feel grateful that he’s working this hard to make you happy. I mean c’mon, he LOVES you! He can’t wait to love you more after you’ve become the man you always were deep down inside.

Leviathan

He does notice that you act different from other women. Not that he minds it, not at all. His Henry is still the same old Henry. Just a little bit different. He’s a little bit different too, there’s nothing wrong with that. Right?!

It’s when you start preferring to be called Henry as opposed to your birth name, do the cogs start churning in his brain. He would have suspected at first that maybe you just were very good friends with him and loved TSL almost as much as him.

He’s seen a few heart-warming anime about it. Specifically one about a girl becoming a boy, and the struggles he went through while attending school. The title wasn’t too important to him, but now that he had a reference for what you were dealing with, he was a bit happy. He just wanted to wait until the moment was right to bring it up to you. Perhaps his Henry was really a Henry after all!

When the moment comes, he’s proud to say the least. He throws his arms around you happily, and promises to be there by your side every step of the way. He’s not exactly rolling in money, but an Otaku finds a way. The Lord of Shadows is your best friend ever, and he can’t wait to see the before and after pictures of your full transition!

Satan

It started with a book you read with him. He didn’t fully comprehend your situation, but he knew you didn’t act like normal girls. It reminded him of a character in a book he read a few weeks ago. The guy didn’t really act like a girl.

While sweet and thoughtful, this character didn’t hit the nail on the head in some ways. When talking over the book with you, you explained just as much to him. The energy was there, but it was backwards for you. He picked up on it immediately.

So what you’re telling me is, you understand this characters struggle with themselves, and can relate to it. But something about it is backwards? A little smile appears on his face as it fully dawns on him. MC, I think I’ll be able to assist you in any way you need.

With Satan’s wonderful connections across the entire Devildom, it wasn’t long before you were getting some of the best treatment possible. The prices seemed a bit scary, but he assured you everything was being taken care of behind the scenes. If you needed to worry about anything, it would be the tiring, long process to come with transitioning. He’ll be sure it goes relatively smoothly for you, though!

Asmodeus

Oh he gets it immediately. Darling why didn’t you just say so in the first place?

He’s dragging you back to your room, rambling the entire time about how he can’t wait to take you out and go shopping. He puts together a devious little page to gather up donations and the like to support your transitioning. His fans would be HONORED to pitch in, right?

In the mean time, he stops pampering you with makeup and his other routines that you used to tolerate for the sake of being cordial. He still pushes for the nail polish, since gender is simply a social concept and he’s ready to crush it into dust any chance he can get. But it’s not about him, it’s about you.

Soon your room is painted a new color, your dresses and skirts and frilly outfits are tossed out for more appropriate attire for your sex, and he’s taking photos for his Devilgram page to show everyone how beautiful you are, even while going through the long process!

Beelzebub

You and Beel got along fabulously. He seemed astonished that a female was interested in all these manly habits he indulged in. He heard from some of the guys on his team that you were interested in playing Fangol. As evidenced by how you always showed up to his practices and games, no matter if they were home or away.

He figured you were just a really big fan of sports. But then you even started working out with him, and giving him suggestions and tips on how to get even more out of his workouts at the gym. You were really passionate about this.

Let’s not kid ourselves, he probably does not pick up on any of the signs. You have tot ell him, and you have to tell him firmly. You are a man, just like him. When you do tell him, however, he’s eager to help you transition. Imagine having another guy in the house who loves Fangol as much as you do!?

He isn’t much aside from emotional support through the transitions, and he coddles you when you have those bad days. If you want to eat something, he’ll rush to the kitchen and cook you a full meal before you move an inch. You’re allowed to lay in bed today. Let him handle the heavy load of work for you.

Belphegor

Oh wow, look at that. He picked it up almost immediately.

I mean, there’s no way a girl would act the way you do, right? Dress the way you do. Be the way you are. He doesn’t care though, and just wants you to be happy. If that means you transition into a man, then hell, he’s on board with you.

He may be a lazy bastard, but he knows when it’s time to get up and work hard to get something. That was what he was like as an angel, anyways. Working at Hell’s Kitchen is the worst, and you hear him complain about as much, but he smiles and assures you that it’s all for a good reason.

His final gift to you to apologize about the Incident, is money. Now at first glance it seems like something Mammon would do. Probably. In reality though, this is the money that will be going towards your HRT. He doesn’t know if you want to fully transition or not, but if you want that top surgery, he can help pay for that too. He’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and healthy in your own body.

Diavolo

It really is a house of men, isn’t it?

He’s glad though, truly, that you were comfortable coming to him about it. Don’t bother ever opening your wallet to pay for any therapy, medication, or surgery. As the Prince of the Devildom, he would be more than happy to get you doctors of all sorts to help you. No questions asked!

It might be a bit overwhelming at first, but the news is exciting. If the Prince accepts you so readily, it gives you hope that other demons will as well. Pretty soon you’re going through your processes, and Diavolo couldn’t be happier to see it happening.

You really is a wonderful guy, and he’s glad he’s getting to experience the changes you take in your life.

Barbatos

To say he didn’t suspect this would be an understatement.

Ever silent and respectful though, he never spoke a word of it. You are probably uncomfortable with people assuming it, even though it’s true. An insecurity that humans seem to deal with, although unfortunate.

However, when the news is broken during a meeting between you, Lucifer, he, and the Prince himself, a smile creeps on his face.

He’s happy to hear that you are so comfortable speaking about this sort of thing. He knows it must be tough, having hidden your true feelings for so long. He prepares a delicious tea with small treats, to celebrate your coming out, and transitioning.

Simeon (and Luke)

Oh dear. God loves you, still. Don’t worry about this. He doesn’t see you as an imperfection.

They assures you constantly that you have their full support, and that will never change. You are not broken, you are not unwanted, and you are not strange. You are a regular trans man in their eyes, and they will defend you on that.

Simeon almost takes on a fatherly role to you, wanting to make sure everything goes as smooth as possible. He probably has done a bit of research in preparations for your transition, and all the nasty little side effects that come with it are worrying him.

However, once it’s all over, Luke and Simeon are glad you came out on top. And my, what a handsome man you make!

Solomon

He figured, but didn’t want to assume. I mean, who the hell is he?

He’s got a few spells for this though, make it quick and painless. One wave of a wand and POOF! Woman no more!

Oh but that’s probably dangerous. The shifty bastard. You would much rather do it the regular way; and not have your insides and outsides shifted around by some crazy sorcerer.

He doesn’t protest much, but that does suck. Hehe. Oh well. You can count on him to support you through it all!

#obey me #om!#obey me headcanons #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon

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lifeofkaze · 3 years

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An Art of Balance #11

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: Okay, now this is a long one, I hope you don’t mind. I had split this up into three parts to make things shorter but I just hated the way it turned out so much. So now you just have to endure an almost 5.5 k attempt of mine to describe feelings. Oh God. Sorry in advance. If anyone is interested in what the song the Weird Sisters are playing sounds like, I image it being something like Don’t Cry from Guns ‘n’ Roses. I actually like to think they sound a lot like them.

Thanks for the heads up @kc-needs-coffee

Warning: Use of alcohol (my characters do like a good drink, don’t they)

Word Count: ~ 5.400 (don’t hit me please)

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Chapter 11: Let Me Take You Dancing

The days leading up to the concert had gotten colder still. Everything was covered in a thick layer of rime, sparkling in the light of the pale November sun. Even the Black Lake had frozen over for the first time in years. The students daring enough to go for a round of ice skating soon told hushed stories of giant tentacles pushing against the ice from beneath the water, knocking heedless students off their feet.

Not particularly eager to get back out into the freezing cold, Lizzie and Charlie had dallied at Hagrid’s perfectly cosy hut far too long. As they were racing back towards the castle, the sun was already hanging low in the sky, their breaths forming in misty clouds in front of their faces.

They found the hallways completely deserted. Almost everyone besides those who had to stay behind at school had already gone to the village. Lizzie risked a quick glance at the giant clockwork above the castle gate while they were hurrying past it. The concert was due to start in less than an hour.

Sure enough, when she skittered into the Hufflepuff Common Room it was empty besides a handful of first years playing a game of cards. Lizzie continued towards her dormitory and found it devoid of her friends. Only the floor, covered in clothes pulled from various drawers, bore witness of the four girls having gotten ready to go out before.

Lizzie waded through the colourful assortment, picking up the odd piece of clothing belonging to her. She found what she had been looking for displayed on her bed. As always, Andre had delivered the outfit he’d made for her just in time. Lizzie ran her hand over the soft fabrics, her eyes lingering on the black heeled boots resting neatly beside the trunk in front of her bed.

She sighed as she picked the precariously high heels up for closer inspection and grimaced at the thought of squeezing into them. She had told Andre she was not used to heels that high when he had suggested wearing some to her in the first place. But apparently, Lizzie’s ability to walk without support was a worthy sacrifice to see the picture he’d had in mind come to life.

After a quick shower to get some warmth back into her body, Lizzie twisted her hair into a ponytail and got changed. She observed herself in the floor length mirror next to the entrance door. Although she severely lacked stability while doing anything more than standing, she had to admit Andre had once again outdone himself.

After she had stalwartly refused to make her appearance in a short dress in the middle of winter, he had opted for an off-white shirt made of a floaty material Lizzie wasn’t familiar with. It reminded her of silk, but it had a thicker feel to it. It fit her body in all the right places while the loose sleeves allowed her to move freely. The boat neckline ran deeper than what she would have normally worn, exposing a fair bit of her shoulders. Thankfully, it lacked any glitzy details that would have distracted from its impeccable fit. It’s simpleness complemented the black leggings made of soft faux leather that clung tightly to her legs. Combined with the boots Andre had given her, they greatly elongated her legs, making her appear much taller than she actually was.

Lizzie picked out some silver earrings and a matching necklace while contemplating the thick black cardigan still lying on her bed. Making up her mind, she dug into her drawer until she had found what she had been looking for. Holding her old Weird Sisters jacket up in triumph, she dusted it off before shrugging it on.

Andre would probably hate it, but Myron, the lead singer of the band, had given a jacket like hers to a handful of friends back in the early days of the band. If she didn’t wear it now, she wouldn’t know when.

Posing in front of the mirror, she presented herself to Mouse, who was eyeing her lazily from the bed she had made herself out of Skye’s favourite hoodie.

“How do I look?” she asked her four-legged companion.

Mouse seemed to examine her for a moment before she let go off the string she had been chewing on, opening her mouth into the widest yawn Lizzie had ever seen. She shook her head and started kneading the sweater with her outstretched claws.

“Don’t get all enthusiastic on me,” Lizzie muttered. She walked over to the cat to give her scratch behind the ears when her heel caught on one of the dresses on the floor. With a little shriek, Lizzie toppled, gripping the post of Skye’s bed for dear life.

As attractive as those boots made her feel, there was no way she would get into Hogsmeade without breaking both her legs first.

Decidedly more careful she grabbed her coat and walked out of her Common Room, her heels clicking loudly on the stone floor. Charlie, Andre and his date, a pale blond girl with a bored look on her face, were already waiting for her.

Lizzie opened her mouth to thank Andre for his effort, but before she could utter a single word, he pointed his finger at her, looking completely horrified.

“What, in the name of all that is fashionable, is this?”

Andre rushed over and tugged at her ponytail painfully. “I explicitly told you not to do that.”

With an exasperate sigh he got his wand out. He muttered “Evanesco” and the hairband holding Lizzies hair out of her face vanished, her brown curls falling down over her shoulders. He observed the result contentedly. “Now you look fabulous.”

Lizzie shot Andre a glum look. Since she had cut her hair the front bits constantly fell into her face, a sensation she had grown to hate. Out of habit, her hand went to her head to swipe it back when Andre pointed his wand at her face.

“Do not touch it,” he warned her, accentuating every word with a flick of his wand.

Lizzie glanced at Charlie for support, who hadn’t bothered changing at all. He gave her the tiniest shrug. Andre bossing her around showed just how nervous he was.

“May I change my shoes, though?” she dared to ask timidly. Moral support or not, she couldn’t fathom walking all the way to the village in those death traps. The concert would long be over by the time they arrived.

Andre was having none of it, though. “No, you may not.”

She made a face. “Why not? They hurt. Charlie is even wearing the same clothes as before,” she complained.

“Because Charlie is basically a troll.”

Despite herself and her increasingly numb toes, Lizzie had to giggle at this swipe at her friend.

“And besides, you are friends with Skye Parkin; you should be used to pain.”

Both Charlie and Lizzie were laughing at this point, while Andre’s date resorted to smiling politely, not sure what exactly was going on.

As the four of them finally set off, Lizzie linked arms with Charlie for support, letting Andre and Claire get ahead of them. When they were out of earshot, she quickly pointed her wand at her feet. Her heels vanished, turning her boots into infinitely more comfortable flats. She winced as the blood came rushing back into her toes.

Charlie shot her a lopsided grin. “I wondered how long you would last in those.”

He picked up his pace now that Lizzie was able to keep up with him. They would need to hurry to get to The Three Broomsticks in time.

“Come on, they won’t wait for us and I fancy something to drink. We’re going to be just in time to be fashionably late.”

Orion couldn’t remember when he had last felt so out of focus.

The main room of The Three Broomsticks was packed to the brim with people laughing, chatting or swaying to the sound of the music. The constant buzz of noise and the little amount of space unnerved him. His eyes were restlessly sweeping over the crowd while he repeatedly loosened and tightened his grip on the glass in his hands.

He was no stranger to social gatherings of course. Lizzie was an avid supporter of the Hufflepuff pre- and post-match parties; after she had convinced Skye to attend several times, it hadn’t taken long before the rest of the team had followed suit. While Orion preferred to focus on his inner balance before a match, he had come to enjoy socialising with the people of his House after returning from the pitch.

But this was something else. The parties in their Common Room consisted mainly of Hufflepuffs and the odd student from another House who had snuck in. Today, it seemed like almost the entire school had crammed themselves into the tiny pub.

Orion shifted against the wall he was leaning against. No, he really couldn’t say he was enjoying himself. He was thoroughly regretting giving in to Skye’s prodding and coming here in the first place.

Skye herself was standing a bit to the side with Penny, her eyes fixed on the Ravenclaws sat at a table a few feet to their right.

Judging from the angry waving of Skye’s hands, Orion guessed she was complaining about Rath, who looked about as comfortable as he was, breathing the same air as her. He was not intent on joining their conversation. His energy was unsettled enough without the negativity Skye was emitting.

Next to him, McNully was observing the same table out of the corner of his eyes. Ever since the girls had sat down, his friend just wouldn’t quit talking.

His ceaseless chattering was accentuated by wide, dramatic gestures. He was obviously trying to catch the attention of the table’s occupants. Orion wished he would just pluck up the courage to get over there and start a conversation with someone who would actually listen to him. He, for one, surely wasn’t.

Orion felt the trace of a headache building inside his throbbing temples. He absolutely hadn’t imagined coming here to be as exasperating.

The other girls in their company weren’t exactly inviting to converse with either. Tonks had left them to find her friend Tulip as soon as they had arrived; he could spot the two of them hanging about the bar, surreptitiously glancing at the huge barrel with butterbeer behind the counter. Orion made a mental note to not drink anything from it anymore.

Rowan just sat quietly at their own table, her drink clutched in her hands, shooting him a timid glance now and again. Orion probably should have made an effort to go and talk to her to ease her awkwardness, but he wasn’t in the mood for hollow chatter. How could he lift someone’s anxiousness while fighting the same sentiments himself?

It was a shame Lizzie wasn’t here yet. He found himself watching the entrance from time to time, looking forward to her finally showing up. Contrary to most of the group gathered around him, he felt like she was the only one he could actually have an agreeable conversation with. Usually, McNully would have been the exception, but his nervous jabbering was increasingly grinding on Orion’s nerves.

He decided to end his torment prematurely; bending down towards his friend, who was just elaborating on the different noise levels of a rock concert and a professional Quidditch match, Orion inclined his head towards the Ravenclaws whose attention McNully was so desperately trying to catch.

“It seems you have quite the admirer,” he shouted into McNully’s ear with a smirk. He was nodding into the direction of a certain redhead, who had been looking towards them way too often for it to be coincidental.

Much to his amusement, McNully paled visibly. His hand went to his head, unconsciously checking his hair. He had made sure it was meticulously styled for the occasion. “Are you sure?”

Orion hummed in confirmation. “Absolutely. She has been looking at you for some time now. Why don’t you get over and say hello?”

McNully nestled with his tie. “I don’t know, mate. According to my statistics- “

“Forget the statistics; they are only numbers representing the odds. And sometimes, the universe is set to defy chance,” he interrupted him.

Without giving his friend a chance to back out, he raised his glass towards the girls at the table, drawing their attention. Smiling broadly, the girl in question raised her own drink in response. She exchanged some words with her friends, before leaving her table and heading over to them.

Orion had left McNully had little choice but to play along. He clapped him on the back as his now silenced friend gulped visibly, once again checking his hair. Leaving them to their own, he pushed through the crowd towards the bar. Although he had to move deeper into the mass of people, he was thankful for a moment to himself.

He had just settled at a corner of the counter, when he spotted Lizzie sitting at a table at the far end of the room. Apparently, she and her friends had arrived while he had been busy getting McNully set up.

She was deeply engaged in conversation with Charlie Weasley and his brother Bill. To his surprise, she had decided to wear her hair open for a change. Her brown curls draped around her slender shoulders, contrasting nicely with the white shirt she was wearing. As if unfamiliar with the feel of her hair loose around her face, she raised her hand to her head ever so often, combing through it with her fingers.

Orion watched lost in thought as Lizzie threw her head back in laughter at some joke Charlie had probably made. He felt his mood sinking again. So much for a chance at a decent conversation.

As if sensing someone looking at her, Lizzie turned her head, her eyes scanning the room and meeting his after a moment. A radiant smile spread on her face as she discovered him at the bar all by himself. She exchanged a few quick words with the Weasley brothers, then grabbed her drink and left her friends to themselves.

Orion’s spirits immediately lifted, he felt his mouth curve into a smile as he saw her approaching. She was weaving through the dense mass of students gracefully, but just as she was about to pass the last row of people in front of the bar, she suddenly got caught on someone’s foot, stumbling the rest of the way.

Orion quickly reached out to catch her from falling, but the impact send her tumbling into him instead.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” Lizzie straightened herself up, her face burning red.

“Don’t worry, you know I’m good at catching things,” Orion heard himself answer. He cringed inwardly at the horrendous joke he’d just made. What on Earth had that been about?

Luckily, Lizzie didn’t seem to have noticed. She looked around the room for other familiar faces. “This place is packed! I’d have never thought so many people would come. Where are the others?”

Before he could reply though, Penny came rushing towards them out of nowhere, virtually jumping on Lizzie’s back in excitement.

“Lizzie, there you are! What took you so long?!” she shouted to be heard over the music.

The band was playing a song with a considerably picked up pace by now. “Come on, let’s get dancing!”

Lizzie had just enough time to give him an apologetic shrug before the blond girl whisked her away and onto the dancefloor.

By the time the next three songs were over, Lizzie was breathless from jumping around with Penny and singing along to the music at the top of their lungs.

“Now it is time for your feet to catch a break, my friends,” Myron Wagtail, lead singer of the Weird Sisters, breathed into his microphone with his raspy voice. “This next song is for our sweethearts.”

As the dancefloor emptied of enthusiastic dancers and couples began to fill their places, Penny and Lizzie started making their way back to the bar. Lizzie’s throat was sore from singing, begging for a sip of water.

When they had almost reached Orion, Lizzie caught sight of someone making their way towards them. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she realised it was Everett. He was smiling confidently, his intense gaze fixed on her.

Her mind racing, Lizzie set her eyes onto Orion. Without thinking on it any further, she stepped forward and grabbed his arm, dragging off him off his stool and back to the dancefloor.

She saw him raising his eyebrows at her in confusion. “What exactly are you doing?”

“Shamelessly using my knight in shining armour a second time, I’d say.”

Upon seeing her already taken, Everett was backing up again, chagrin written all over his face.

It was only now that she got aware of Orion still standing in front of her, both of them now surrounded by couples swaying to the sound of the music. Lizzie felt the heat rising to her face; she clearly hadn’t thought as far ahead.

To her surprise, however, Orion extended his arm, offering her his hand. Confused, she took it and he pulled her closer to him, his other hand coming to rest on her waist.

“If you dragged me here for whatever reason, we could as well go with the flow,” he smirked. Lizzie blushed even further, unable to think of a witty remark. She decided to just let it go and do as Orion had suggested. Concentrate on the song; go with the flow. She felt herself relax.

Orion was an excellent dancer, she’d have to give him that. He was leading her through the music confidently, making sure they weren’t colliding with other couples strewn across the dancefloor. Even now, the crowd was much thicker than she had anticipated.

Noticing the confused sideway glances some of their peers shot them, she chuckled. She stepped closer to Orion, standing on her tiptoes so she could shout into his ear over the music. “Seems like we’re attracting quite the attention,” she laughed lightly.

He only smirked as he slowly spun her around. Her fingertips tingled as their hands reconnected and despite herself, she felt her smile grow even wider. She tried to relax her already hurting cheeks, but she was simply enjoying herself too much.

Trying to distract herself from the tension she felt surging through her body from where Orion’s hand rested on her waist, Lizzie tossed her head in a futile attempt to get her unruly hair out of her face. Without giving it another thought, Orion lifted his hand, carefully tucking away the rogue strand that had been bugging her. The back of his hand accidentally brushed her cheek and Lizzie instinctively leaned into his touch, her heartbeat picking up pace. The thought of resting her head on his chest crossed her mind for a split second. Bewilderment mixed into the buzz she felt coursing through her veins. What was wrong with her?

“I’m surprised you chose to wear your hair like that,” Orion commented absentmindedly, apparently unaware of the indefinable mix of emotions he had just inflicted on her. “I thought you hated having it in your face.”

Eager to set her mind to something else, she concentrated on her answer. “It wasn’t exactly my choice. Andre forced this mess on me, and I’m rather annoyed by it.”

Orion furrowed his brow. “You should not let others dictate your appearance, especially if you don’t feel like yourself.” He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before the corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile, something sparking at the back of his dark eyes. “But for what it’s worth, I think you look beautiful.”

Lizzie felt her cheeks blush dark red, while her heart suddenly seemed to skip several beats. Totally dumbfounded by his unexpected compliment, her mind raced for something even remotely clever to answer without looking like he had caught her unaware. Which he completely had. Her throat went even drier than before, while she still struggled for an answer.

She was spared further embarrassment, by Myron breathing a dreamy “Thank you” up on stage before the music picked up again. Still smiling, Orion let go off her hand as the rest of the crowd came flooding back on the dancefloor.

Suddenly surrounded by people again, Lizzie’s attention was thankfully diverted from the awkwardness of the situation. Dark eyes sparkling with amusement, Orion gave her a small wink before retreating back to his seat at the bar.

Although Lizzie tried her best to immerse herself in the pounding rhythm of the music, there was no way she could concentrate anymore. Tapping Penny on the shoulder, she screamed into her ear that she needed to get a breather. Her friend immediately made to accompany her, but Lizzie signalled her to stay. She wanted a moment to herself.

She desperately needed to sort her racing thoughts. Penny was usually a formidable person to ask for advice, but Lizzie preferred to get her mind in order on her own.

As soon as Penny’s attention had turned from her, it was all Lizzie could do not to run for the exit of The Three Broomsticks. She shut the door firmly behind her, cutting off the noise of the music and the dense crowd.

The cold air hit her heated body like a torrent of icy water. She contemplated slipping inside again to get her coat but ultimately decided against it. The quietness of the sleepy wizard village was a stark contrast to the raging concert going on inside the pub and Lizzie could feel her head clearing already.

Shivering, she wrapped her thin jacket tighter around her body and sat down on a wooden bench to the side of the building. The music reaching her ears from here was muffled, but she could still make out the familiar tunes.

Humming along to the melody under her breath, she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cold stone wall behind her. Now, sitting outside in the crisp air of the winter evening, the whole situation from before seemed completely surreal. A dipping feeling was building inside her stomach, reminding her of the nerves she usually felt right before a Quidditch match.

If it wasn’t for the tingling she could still feel in her fingertips from when Orion had touched her, she almost would have believed it had been a fever dream. The sensation was spreading rapidly into every part of her body the more she thought about it. How rough his hand had felt, calloused from the many years he had dedicated to playing Quidditch; his hold had been gentle though, prompting her to follow his movements without even a second thought.

Lizzie covered her eyes with both her hands. Her thoughts were running wild and she tried in vain to reign them in by taking slow and deliberate breaths. It was a technique Orion had taught her way back in her first season, when she had been a nervous wreck before her first match.

She let out a small cry of frustration as she realised how Orion had entered her mind again without being invited.

“You cold, snowflake?”

The sound of the familiar voice startled Lizzie from her thoughts with force. Jolting upright, she almost slid off the cold wood of the bench, only catching herself at the last moment.

“Don’t you dare scare me like that ever again,” she huffed, scrambling back into a more dignified position than lying half on the frozen ground.

Charlie only raised an eyebrow, a badly contained grin showing on his freckled face. Much to her relief, her black coat was hanging over his arm, while his other hand juggled two steaming mugs of mulled cider.

Lizzie shuffled over to made room for him on the bench. She took her coat off Charlie and shrugged it on, only now realising how cold she had actually been. As he handed her one of the warm mugs, she gratefully wrapped both her hands around it. The stinging in her palms as the blood came rushing back into them made her grimace, but it also helped clear her head properly.

“How did you know I was out here?” she asked her red-haired friend who had slumped down beside her.

Charlie took a moment to blow against his cider before taking a tentative sip, instantly wincing as he found it still too hot to drink. “How could I not? You practically fled the room after dancing with Amari; you almost knocked me out in fact.”

Startled, Lizzie blinked at Charlie. She hadn’t even noticed him.

She blew against her own cup before raising it to her lips. The sweet cider almost burned the tip of her tongue, but the warmth it spread from her stomach felt divine against the bitter cold.

Lizzie sighed, her breath forming as a cloud before her face.

“So you saw us dancing?”

“Are you kidding?” Charlie tried for another sip, more successful this time. “I think pretty much everyone saw. I mean, both of you have been on the Quidditch team for years now; people know you. I bet it’s quite the buzz already.” His laugh died in his throat when he saw her miserable expression.

Lizzie hung her head, her fears confirmed. Of course the people around them would have seen them, but she had hoped for the crowd having been too thick for anyone else to notice.

Her mind briefly flickered to Rowan. It was the first time since arriving at Hogsmeade she thought about what she had promised to her friend. This was certainly not what she had thought would happen, when she had dragged Orion onto the dancefloor just to get rid of Everett.

They sat in silence for a moment, sipping on their warming drinks, Charlie allowing his friend to process the information he’d just given her.

“So, do you have a thing for him?” Charlie eventually asked her cautiously. When he saw her wince uncomfortably, he added a teasing “Do I need to be jealous of Orion Amari, of all people?” in a futile attempt to lift the mood.

Lizzie didn’t feel like bantering though. To drive her point home, she gave Charlie a pointed look, eyebrows quirked up, until he stopped laughing at her plight. Contemplating his original question, shook her head thoughtfully.

“I’ve no idea; I don’t know what happened in there.” She started drumming her fingertips against the rapidly cooling glass. “I never even thought of him other than a friend,” she mumbled more to herself, if anything.

Charlie silently watched her. He couldn’t recall a time when he had seen his otherwise confident friend as thoroughly rattled as in this moment.

“I don’t know if it helps, but the two of you would make quite the couple. The sparks flying between you could have been breathed by a Hungarian Horn Tail, from what I’ve seen.”

Judging by Lizzie’s unmoving expression, he feared he had chosen entirely the wrong way to cheer her up once again. But to his relief, a trace of the Lizzie he knew glinted in her eyes a moment later.

She playfully shoved at him, the cider in his hands almost slopping out of the mug and over his hands.

“What do you even know, Weasley?” She rolled her eyes at him, but wasn’t quick enough to hide the smile spreading on her face.

“Not much, I guess. Remember, according to Andre, I’m secretly a ginger troll.” He made a funny face what was probably supposed to be his personification of a troll. Beaming at successfully making her giggle, Charlie got up off the bench and offered Lizzie his hand. Accepting it, he pulled her up into a standing position.

His face grew serious, eyes flicking towards the fogged windows of The Three Broomsticks for a moment.

“Speaking of Andre, I’d better go see how he’s doing. I left him in a pretty state when I went after you.”

Lizzie tilted her head in confusion. “Why?”

Charlie sighed. “He got dumped pretty much as soon as we got here,” he elaborated. “Turned out his sweetheart was just after a pretty dress made especially for her. Andre found her snogging a guy from her year when he got back with drinks for them.

Despite her messy state of mind, Lizzie’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Are you serious?”

She slammed her mug down onto the windowsill of the pub, turning all her confusion into righteous outrage at the foul treatment of her friend.

“Where is that sneaky twat? I’m going to punch that smug little face of hers!”

Hurriedly getting rid of his own mug, it was all Charlie could do to restrain the furious girl.

“Woah, calm down, that’s helping no one!”

“But she can’t just go and treat someone as lovely as Andre like that!” Lizzie tried to wiggle past Charlie, who looped his arms around her until her sudden flare of temper seemed to wear off.

Not entirely sure if it was a good idea, Charlie carefully let go off her, relieved she didn’t immediately use her regained freedom to storm back into the building and start a bar fight.

“I agree, sunshine; but hear me out: I can get you out of detention for a lot of things with my prefect bonus. Hitting another girl probably isn’t one of them though.”

Just to be sure, he put his hands on Lizzie’s shoulder and turned her around, marching her a few steps away from the entrance door.

“Tell you what, I’m going to go get Andre and then we’ll just head back to the castle together, alright? No hitting, no violence.”

Lizzie was still grumbling indignantly under her breath, but agreed after a moment.

As soon as Charlie had vanished inside however, Lizzie turned on her heels, marching along the main road at full speed. She hoped to be well out of sight before Charlie had located Andre and convinced him to leave .

She knew he would be furious with her for returning to the castle alone, and rightly so. The light was completely gone by now and the road back to the castle led through a stretch of forest for a good part. Although well lit, it was an unspoken agreement that neither of them was to go alone.

But she was in no mood for company. Neither did she want to comfort a heartbroken Andre, nor did she have a mind for Charlie’s jokes trying to cheer them up. She needed to get herself under control before seeing her friends. Seeing Rowan.

Seeing Orion.

She picked up her pace, walking as fast as she could without actually breaking into a run, her breath soon becoming heavier.

What a fine mess she’d manoeuvred herself into. Try as she might, she couldn’t deny the fluttery feeling still rising in her stomach even now when she thought back on dancing with Orion, how good his hand had felt on her waist and how badly she had wanted to rake her fingers through his long, jet black hair.

Lizzie forced her mind to stop with all the willpower she had to muster.

No. This was Orion Amari she was thinking about in an absolute inappropriate manner. Her friend, her teammate and her team captain. The guy her best friend wanted Lizzie to set her up with.

She came to an abrupt halt next one of the wrought-iron lampposts lighting the way and kicked a heap of frozen leaves out of pure frustration. It didn’t soothe her agitation in the slightest. Suddenly feeling deflated, she leaned her forehead against the cold metal post and closed her eyes to shut out everything but her own thoughts.

She would not do this to Rowan.

She just couldn’t. Rowan was her friend. Lizzie had promised her to help.

A sudden cold drop on her neck made her shiver inadvertently, quickly followed by another and another. Lizzie opened her eyes again and lifted her face to the dark sky. Despite her inner turmoil, she felt a wondrous smile steal on her face as she gazed up into the darkness, all sorrow forgotten.

It had finally started snowing.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #orion amari #orion amari x mc #quidditch #the quidditch squad #quidditch squad #art of balance #lizzie jameson #charlie weasley #L writes #L is rubbish at describing feelings

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teenageprunepatrolpurse · 3 years

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Get Motivated to Drop 2–4 Dress Sizes in One Month: 4 Steps to Get your Dream Body

How to lose 4 dress sizes in a month or how to lose 20+ pounds in 30 days all mean the same thing, losing weight on a deadline. Whether it be a high school reunion, your own wedding, or other specific occasions. But before we get into it, let’s talk about what matters most when it comes to effective and successful weight loss.

In this article, we’re going to cover the 4 steps to get your dream body. I always believe the best solutions are the simple ones so I don’t have 12 tips or 15 keys to losing weight fast. Just the 4 keys that are essential to successful weight loss.

Note: This article is more about the principles of weight loss and proper mindset to get you motivated for a higher success rate.

📷 If you’re interested in learning exactly how I lost 20+ pounds in 1 month without exercise after each of my pregnancies over age 40, then read this article for further details.

1. First Key to Successful Weight Loss: Set up Practical Goals 📷 Different Aesthetic Standards Let’s take a look at the picture above. Sure you see the woman in a black dress. I believe you may not find her to be super slim but she has beautiful feminine curves which make her look just as attractive as the lady in purple on the right, who’s holding a wheel position on the ground whom I believe most people would consider being slender. I don’t know about you but they’re both just as fit and beautiful to me.A friend of mine once told me when he was younger he used to find chubby girls much more attractive than skinny girls. As you can see, human perceptions of beauty change from time to time and vary from individual to individual. What really matters is the way you see yourself. In my opinion, every woman is unique and beautiful her own way. Some might be sort of ‘big-boned’ while others are rather plump or extremely tall and skinny. Each of us is born with an inherited body type which we sometimes can do little to change. So before we even jump into any sort of diet or workout plan we need to know what our natural body type looks like and get the idea of the best version of the body we are most likely to achieve and feel comfortable with it. It’s impractical to pursue the hourglass figure when your natural body type is rather tall and “narrow-butt” if you know what I mean. It’d be nice to have a body like that of Kim Kardashian, whom I pretty much believe is born that way.Measure Your Dress Sizes instead of Weight Losing 3–4 dress sizes in a month is actually a more specific goal than losing 20 pounds in 21 days. It will make you less obsessed with the numbers on the weight scale when all you have to do is measure your waistline & hip circumference. It will give you a better idea of how close you are to your fitness goal.2. Second Key to get you started: Mindset Mindset is essential for successful weight loss in the long term. You need to truly love yourself for who you are and be willing to do whatever it takes for your well-being. You are beautiful the way you are. You are worthy of a great and healthy life and you will get your dream body once you started believing in yourself.What are the real reasons that make you want to start losing weight? Health issues? Want to fit in some fabulous outfits? Abs that will turn heads when you’re on the beach?Try to find the strongest motivations that will get you started and keep you going towards your goal.They have to be bigger than just want to look great and feel good about yourself which by the way is nothing wrong either. It’s so important that you’re doing this out of strong love for yourself and your loved ones because it will give you the power to continue and get you motivated. That’s why having your mind in the right place is crucial to successful weight loss.My 4-year-old daughter asked me a question the other day:” Mom, will you still be around when I grow up?” “Do you want me to still be around by then?” “Of course I do! I want you to always be around no matter how old I am.” “I will do my best, honey”, was the promise I made to her.That reminds me of my parents, who are already advanced in age yet still being so healthy and energetic and not suffering any kind of pain which most elderly people do(backache, rheumatism, arthritis, knee pain, etc.).My father is a wise and experienced natural therapist and herbal expert and is able to take good care of himself and my mom. I am so grateful that my parents are still so healthy and I want to follow the good example they set up for me.I’d like to quote what my father used to say to us:” Always watch what you put in your mouth. You are not a trash can! Don’t just eat anything because it tastes good.” 📷 📷 Use the Power of Mind Think of Your Body as a small universe with your mind is the most powerful thing that maintains the balance within this small universe.Or if we think of the body as some sort of hardware then your mind is like the software that actually makes the hardware works at its best.I know this metaphor might

be a little too simplistic but it’s important to fill our minds with positive thoughts. Because your mind and your words actually have the power to program your life into the way you want it to be.If we fill our minds with negative thoughts then we’re most likely not going to take any action to achieve any goal that would make us healthier or have a better life than we deserve because deep down in our hearts we think it’s impossible or just too difficult to achieve.That’s why mindset is the key to successful weight loss because it is often followed by aligned actions which naturally lead to a change of lifestyle. Now that if you know for sure you are doing this out of strong love for yourself and your loved ones and you have your mindset in the right place then we’re good to go.Seek Professional Help Now if you are having some sort of eating disorder problem like you often found yourself staring at the big empty ice-cream container after watching your favorite movies at midnight.Or maybe you are stress-eating a lot or some of you even suffer from something worse such as bulimia or anorexia. Then the last thing you need to worry about now is the way you look like.I’d suggest that you look deeper into the real reasons behind your eating disorder behavior or even seek professional help if necessary. 📷 📷 3. Third Key that is Crucial: Maintain Hormonal and Metabolic Balance Maintaining hormonal and metabolic balance is the essential key to successful weight loss especially for women who are overweight and what they’ve been doing is eat very little and move a lot while still not getting the result they want.A hormonal imbalance can greatly affect women’s beauty and the distribution of their body fat[1]. For example, the lack of estrogen can cause our skin to lose its tautness which means the wrinkled face and fine lines around the eyes. When the estrogen levels are low it could lead to excessive weight gain as well.The growth hormone, which is known to be able to help burning fat while also building your muscles and bones during your deep cycles of sleep-[2][3]. That’s why having quality sleep is so important if we want to actually lose that stubborn fat that’s stored in our trouble spots because the effective fat-burning process actually happens while we’re sleeping not when we’re exercising.The Insulin hormone, also known as the “fat-storing hormone”, is produced by our pancreas, regulates the metabolism of carbs, protein, and fat. Insulin is released when our blood sugar levels rise. It helps absorb glucose from the blood and store it for future use. If we absorb too much glucose our body converts it into fat which causes weight gain. That’s why we need to stay away from refined sugar(or refined carbs) in order to prevent a dramatic rise of blood sugar levels that spike up the secretion of insulin which results in converting excessive blood sugar into fat.Cortisol is a steroid hormone, also referred to as the “stress hormone” due to the fact that its release is increased in response to stress and low blood sugar levels. We want to keep our cortisol levels down so we can turn on that fat-burning mode which boosts our metabolisms and helps us lose the stubborn fat in our trouble spots. Basically, when our cortisol level is high our body switches from the fat-burning mode to the muscle-breaking and fat-storing mode.I don’t want to bore you with the science here but it’s important that we understand that the human body is complicated and we need to take multi-factors into consideration instead of just simplify things with the “eat less and move more” equation.

If you want to know how to “eat more exercise less” to regain hormonal and metabolic balance then read this article to learn more.

📷

4. Fourth Key: Stop Dieting In saying dieting I mean any kind of calorie restriction diets or weird/extreme diets that might cause nutrient deficiency which could be screwing up your hormonal and metabolic balance and thus make all your efforts and attempts at weight loss go in vain. The kind of dieting that’s not sustainable and practical, the kind that makes you feel listless, depressed, tired and your moods swinging from time to time you could hardly summon any energy to do what you want to do.As I have mentioned before, we do need to watch what we eat but we also need to develop a healthy relationship with our food so we won’t be afraid of having food that would actually make us healthy just because it has higher calories.The thing about counting calories is that it’s hard to be accurate. The same food seasoned and cooked in different ways could have different calorie counts. When we count the calories of a specific fruit we also need to take into account other factors such as its maturity because of the difference of sugar content in it.As for the chicken breast we have is it with skin or without skin and what’s the protein to fat ratio of it? Sounds complicated, isn’t it? Well, it is and it’s exhausting and inefficient if you have to do this on a daily basis.By the way, do you always feel like you need to remove the skin of the meat you have because it will make you fat? Well, do you know that eating meat along with its skin actually helps you digest better, and having good quality fat such as natural animal fat actually helps you burn fat in a more efficient way?What and How to Eat Matters I don’t need to tell you what you should eat to lose weight healthily because you’ve probably already gathered tons of information from different sources about it.You know how important it is to have good quality proteins to help you build muscles(boost metabolisms), that you should also include healthy fat, carbs, probiotics, fibers, vegetables in your meals as well so I guess I shouldn’t waste your time repeating what you already know.But what about the type and combination of food, what kind of protein together with what kind of carbs and vegetables, the amount of each category, what seasoning to use, which food combination or pairing of spices/flavors works better, when to eat, etc?For example, Crab is a great source of protein, and orange is also considered a good source of carbs which contains low calories and several vitamins and minerals. However, eating a great amount of crab while guzzling gallons of cold orange juice may not be a good choice for people with poor digestive systems.Drinking soup made by a certain combination of meat and vegetables is different from eating each ingredient separately. Salmon is well known for containing omega 3 fatty acids which may also help us burn body fat. However, we need to look deeper into the nutritional differences between farmed salmon and wild salmon. We also need to be careful not to have seafood as our main source of protein given the fact that the ocean is highly polluted and chemicals and pollutants can be absorbed by fish or other marine life through their environment and diet.Yes, there is a lot to take into consideration when it comes to choosing food for health and effective weight loss.Losing weight or dropping dress sizes fast is not something difficult to achieve. Eating nutrient-dense food combinations in the right way can lead to rapid weight loss without having to starve yourself or doing excessive cardio/HIIT exercises.

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#need to lose more weight #lose stomach weight #lose weight #weight loss #weightloss #weight gain #fat loss #health ( height and weight ) scales #lose #lose weight without exercise

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

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Day After (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Crack/fluff

Summary: Office parties are mostly a bad idea. You never know if you might say something to someone who really matters to you.

Warnings: A little more cursing than usual

Word count: 2,031

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

For @lovingshoto‘s 200 follower special!

a/n: This took longer than I thought it would, only because I always fall asleep when I start writing I’m a tired college student

There’s a male Ashido character here based on designer_eyebags on Tik Tok because it’s fabulous and absolute needed for a crack fic like this. Some other characters may/may not be OOC, depending on your own imagination of things.

I’m off from uni this week and next week because someone probably has Covid-19 at my school and I was gonna be on spring break next week anyway, so after I catch up with all my assignments and stuff, I’ll hopefully be writing more!

Enjoy and follow @lovingshoto please and thank you!

Also, spot the TikTok meme

"Unngghh."

My forehead presses against the cool desk, my stomach rumbling uncomfortably and my temples pounding to the beat of an EDM track.

"You look completely hammered, what the hell happened last night?"

I don't bother lifting my head at Jirou's voice. "Many mistakes were made," I groan. "I feel like death."

"It was smart of YaoMomo and I to skip then." The light ruffle of papers trickles next to my ear. "You still need to get these reports done by the end of the day. Sorry, buddy."

God. Damnit. I lift my heavy head up, regretting all of my life choices until this moment. The office party last night is a giant blob of flashing lights, alcohol, and questionable decisions. I never even knew that half the people here would get as smashed or turnt as they did last night.

Me included.

I don't know who was in charge of alcohol, but whatever was in those cups was colored and made all of us act just a little crazier than our mundane lives usually allow. When Mirio said company parties are crazy, I now see he really meant it. This morning when I woke up, my throat was drier than the desert in summer and my head felt like someone let a jackhammer loose inside. I don't even remember how the hell I managed to get home.

Slowly, painfully, I trudge through my work. Even on three tablets of ibuprofen, my headache barely gets better, and staring at a screen all day doesn't help. I don't even have time to take my break because I barely made a dent in my work. Not that I would want to. This morning, I couldn't keep my breakfast down, so I'm scared to eat.

Around lunchtime, a thermos bowl is placed gently on the space next to my computer. My eyes meet with my stone-faced coworker settling into the chair, sitting up proper as he is with his hands laced in his lap.

"Oh no." My heart drops into my stomach as I whine out. "Did I say something yesterday? I remember most of what happened last night, but other things are a blur. Please don't be mad at me."

"If I were mad, I wouldn't be here right now." He pushes the dish over along with utensils wrapped in a napkin. "Eat. It's hangover soup, it should help your stomach."

Reluctantly, I open the dish, the savory-bitter smell wafting out as soon as I lift the lid, immediately causing my stomach to growl. I'm still wary about his serious expression as I eat. Todoroki is normally an emotionless person, but he has a different energy today. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.

As soon as I'm halfway through the bowl, Todoroki calmly asks, "Did you forget your brain last night?"

I groan. There it is. "I thought you weren't angry?"

"I'm not angry, I genuinely want to know what state of empty mind were you in to do all the things you did last night?" Though his face is devoid of emotion, he's obviously being condescending.

I put the spoon down in the bowl. "In my defense, I don't know what alcohol that was, it made me crazier than usual."

"Why did you drink at all? You know people do weird things when they're drunk."

"Because that's what people do at company parties, Todoroki." I lean my arm on the desk and rub my temples. "I don't know who was in charge of the alcohol last night-"

"Did you summon me?" A short pink head of hair with small horns peeking out appears behind the wall of my desk. "I was the one in charge of drinks last night," he rounds the separator and sits gracefully on the desk, legs crossed, happily drinking pink tea from his clear glass mug. "Did you enjoy my alcohol selection?"

My eye twitches. This is the person I need to strangle and throw into a ditch. But I can't, he's too fabulous and he's one of the best people we have actually. "Because of you, I went a little too crazy last night," I grit out through my teeth.

"Oh, sweetie," he places a hand on my shoulder endearingly, "Alcohol only brings out the secret inner person you actually want to be."

"Yeah, and that's someone who needs to learn to take their alcohol like me," Bakugou walks past casually, drinking his (probably) third cup of coffee since morning.

"Oh please Bakugou, we all know you and Kirishima left early to fuck, you couldn't keep your hands off each other after one drink," Ashido stirs his tea just as casually.

Bakugou freezes up as the blushing pink man sips his tea like's he's talking about the weather.

"Oops, was that a secret?" the sassy pink man feints shame.

Bakugou, completely red at the ears, just stalks off grumbling to himself in embarrassment.

Ashido sighs, a smile playing on his lips. "Not everyone can handle Grand Marnier, you know. Aoyama actually put me onto it. It's not for the faint of heart, but it definitely makes things more interesting. Did you see Tokoyami? Even- Oh! Here's the king of darkness himself!"

The man with raven-black hair that's usually spiked back has lazily gathered some of the hairs to pull it away from it face. He probably felt so terrible this morning that he didn't bother gelling it up like he usually does. Actually, Tokoyami looks just as hellish as I feel. His sharp, bird-like eyes are dulled by dark circles as he trudges down the aisle.

Ashido throws an arm around his shoulders as he walks by, startling him enough to pull the earbuds out of his ears that are blasting hard rock. "This guy right here was having the time of his life last night! Just one drink and he loosened up, hands around everyone's shoulder telling them how much he appreciates them and mushy shit like that."

Tokoyami's pale face slowly reddens and his eyes widen, suddenly awake but having no energy to fight anything Ashido says.

"He even fit a lap shade on his head and started dancing around, I even have pictures to prove it!" Ashido continues gushing, pulling out his phone excitedly.

"Please don't bring it up," Tokoyami grits out, trying to be menacing, but his tomato-red faces contrasting his all black work outfit doesn't help his case.

"Don't be a spoiled-sport, it's so cute seeing you not dark and dreary for once!" the bright pink man gushes.

"I'm leaving."

Oh shit, if Tokoyami did that after one drink, I don't even wanna know what else I could've done. I've already come to terms with my mistakes, but if there's more, I don't know what I would do.

Ashido sighs and puts his phone away. "I guess he never wants to see himself happy. Oh well, at least I have more blackmail material." He winks at us and rises will a flourish, making his grand exit. "I'll see you two around!"

There are some days when I really think Ashido might know more things than we think he does. And that's a scary thought, because he could very easily have some dirt on everyone, including the boss and the more senior workers.

Todoroki taps his thumbs together in his clasped hands. "That was...interesting. But speaking of blackmail, I would also like to show you a picture that really upset me from last night” He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling.

I cringe. There's only one massively stupid thing I did that would upset Todoroki enough to really reprimand me Mom-style. So I blurt out my rationale in hopes of him being less harsh on me. “Okay, but in my defense, Kaminari bet me three dollars that I couldn't drink all that shampoo. What was I supposed to do, say no?"

“No that’s not-" His heterochromatic hair bounces as his head snaps up at me. "You drank shampoo!? How did- When did you do that, I was supposed to be watching you the entire night!”

Shit, that wasn't it. "Well, obviously you didn’t do a good job since I drank a whole cup of shampoo and you didn’t stop me," I try to brush it off defensively.

Todoroki's mortified face is as pale as the right side of his hair, covering his mouth with his clenched fist. "How are you standing right now?" He looks like he's about to have a heart attack.

"Considering how I threw up as soon as I got home - which I'll be honest, I don't even know how that happened - and I couldn't even eat this morning, I'd say my body did a pretty good job of rejecting it."

My office mate has no idea how he's supposed to react to any of that. His phone is frozen in his hand as he glares at me like I have three heads. "Well. What I was going to show you doesn't compare to that." He puts his phone away and tries to regain his composure.

I mentally sigh in relief. At least drinking shampoo was the stupidest thing I did all night.

"If you really would like to know," his face softens, "I was the one who took you home last night, since you were thoroughly intoxicated."

"Oh." Now I feel guilty. Not only was I probably being a troublesome brat for him to take care of, I didn't even remember his kindness. And he even made me soup for my troubles. "I'm so sorry, and you did all this for me, thank you, Todoroki."

"It's fine. It's due to the alcohol that you can't recall, I understand. Though," Todoroki's cheeks flush slightly, "There is something I'm confused about."

Oh fuck, I did the thing didn't I?

"At first, I thought it was also an effect of the alcohol, considering you licked Asui's face while you were dancing with her, and you were generally more touchy with everyone the whole night." He has trouble looking me in the eyes now. "But, you were saying things to me that I don't think you would tell anyone else."

My entire mind goes into overdrive, scrambling to piece together the narrative lost in my memory. There's one major concern I have. "Was I vulgar?"

"No, it was nothing like that," he shakes his head, allowing me to relax. "But, it was...charming, I'd say."

I bury my face in my hands. "Just tell me what I said already." I'm ready to regret everything.

"You...said you wanted me to stay with you, because you wanted me to be the first thing you see in the morning." He has trouble getting the words out, but his voice was still delicate and endearing. "You said seeing me every day at work is something you look forward to. You told me how handsome I look, especially on the few occasions when I wear glasses." His blush intensifies as I slowly feel closer and closer to dying. "There were many other compliments. And then...you...kissed me."

FUCK, I DID THE THING.

"Or, at least you tried. If that was something you really wanted, I couldn't let you do it while you were intoxicated and couldn't remember it later."

An ashamed apology bubbles in my throat, but my extreme embarrassment doesn't let it come out. How pathetic I am admitting my feelings to the person I like while I was guzzled with alcohol and shampoo.

"Not to say I didn't want to kiss you."

I snap my head up, fully taking in his tomato-red appearance as he averts he bores affectionate eyes into mine. Oh.

"I don't know if you're up for it, but would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Todoroki officially requests.

My heart melts at his innocent confession and relief. "S-Sure," I squeak.

Todoroki gives me a small smile and pats my head. "Finish that soup and hurry to finish your work for the day," he chides before getting up and heading back to his own desk.

My chest remains clenched and my cheeks hurt from smiling continuously. The only thing I regret now is not seeing buttoned-up, proper Todoroki drunk.

#todoroki x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki shouto #office au #lovingshoto's 200 followers special #crack #gender neutral reader #mha todoroki #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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mhdiaries · 4 years

Photo

Monster Exchange Lorna McNessie Passport

5-30

So this is how ma day started: “Lorna McNessie, please report tae the Dead Master’s office.” Uh, oh. It’s usually nae good when you hear your name vibratin’ oot of a classroom speaker. As I left the room I could hear ma classmates giggling behind me; this nae bein’ the fiercst time I’d made the long walk tae the office. I was pretty sure this time it must be aboot me photo bombing the faculty fearbook picture. I just couldna help ma self; there they all were in their robes and finery, looking all stern and teacher-like, and there was that window behind them. I was drawn tae it like a werewolf tae a full moon, and even then I only stuck ma face in for one snap... or two... so I didna think it would cause a fuss. I stood outside the Dead Master’s door, drew a deep breath and got me, “Yes, I should have known better” apology ready. Then I knocked and stuck ma head in. “You wanted tae see me, sir?” He was on the phone and he waved me in and pointed tae a chair. I sat down while kept talkin’ tae the monster on the other end. “Ay, academically strong.” He just listened for a moment and then laughed himself tae tears. “Nae, nae, ‘twas something ye said struck me funny. I can assure you that self-confidence will nae be an issue with this one, Headmistress Bloodgood. Thank you for yer time, as well, and I’m sure we’ll speak again soon. Goodbye.” The Dead Master hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. “That was Headless Headmistress Bloodgood from Monster High. She’s accepted you application for the monster exchange program.” I couldna believe it, which seemed tae be an opinion shared by the Dead Master. I asked if that was the reason he called me tae his office. He said, “Nae - ‘twas merely a happy accident. But since you’re here, I suppose I shouldna have tae tell you that you’ll be representing our school, and I’ll expect you tae be on your beast behaviour.” I told him that, of course, I would, and that I would make the school proud. “Very good. Now let’s have a little chat aboot the faculty fearbook photo, shall we?”

6-5

Ma parents are understandably cautious aboot me leaving the loch tae attend Monster High. I don’t blame them, though; it is in their nature tae be so. Sometimes they look at me like I’m an alien when I tell them aboot ma latest photo bomb adventure, and then they just roll their eyes and say, “Just like your Gran.” I take that as a compliment, sine ma Gran is the scaly coolest monster ever! I went tae see her today tae tell the news that I’d be going to Monster High, and I think she was even more excited than me. She has a whole album of ma pictures, at least the ones I could get copies of, and she loves the stories behind them. She’s feisty, funny, and is an amazing storyteller. She can even make the ones I’ve heard a hundred times seem as new and exciting as the first time. Her stories aboot being a young ghoul in the loch are so funny, they make ma fins hurt. But one of her best tales is aboot the time I took her aboot on a photo bomb expedition. There is this bird that lives around the loch called the Three-Eyed Dusky Dragon Owl. They’re as rare as slug hair, and you mostly hear them rather than see them, but every so often a pair will build a nest some place near tae a road, and then monster bird watchers flock in... hehe... by the busload. Now it just so happened that the nest was at the bottom of a very steep cliff and on a branch that hung aboot over the water. I suggested tae Gran that we swim under water and pop our heads aboot as soon as the first birdwatchers started snapping photos, but Gran said, “Where’s the fun in that?” She didn’t want tae be in ONE picture, she wanted tae photo bomb them ALL. That’s why there is now a framed magazine cover over her mantel from the monster world’s most famous nature magazine. It features a nesting pair of Three-Eyed Dusky Dragon Owls, and two pieces of driftwood floating in the water behind them. If you look close enough you can almost see the driftwood giggling.

6-15

I’ve been getting tons of messages from different ghouls at Monster High saying they are looking forward tae meeting me. Then tonight I got tae video chat wit Howleen and Twyla. Howleen was super bouncy, and Twyla seemed shy but funny. It seemed like they had as many questions for me as I had for them. I was especially curious tae know if Headless Headmistress Bloodgood had a sense of humor or nae. Howleen got an odd look on her face, then started tae say something, but didn’t. Twyla actually laughed oot loud. “That depends,” said Twyla, “on whether or not her office gets filled with packing peanuts on a day when she’s giving foreign digniscaries a tour of the school.” I started laughing and asked Howleen if she got into trouble for the prank. “I had to come in on Saturday, and she made me clean them up by hand one peanut at a time. It took all day.” I said it sounded like she was no fun a’tall. “Wait,” said Twyla giggling, “you have to hear what happened next.” Howleen leaned back, and with a smirk on her face said, “When I got to school on Monday and opened my locker, I got buried in a flood of packaging peanuts.” At this point Twyla fell off the chair she was sitting on, and I could hear her cracking up on the floor. “It wasn’t that funny, Twyla,” huffed Howleen. “Yes. It. Was.” “Okay, Lorna, we’re going to go, now. Twyla has apparently lost her mind, and we’re going to need to try to find it.” I think I’m going to like Monster High, and with friends like these it’s nice to think I won’t have tae be swimming down stream like a lost salmon when I get there.

6-30

Got another surprise call tonight from a ghoul named Marisol Coxi. She’s a bigfoot from Monster Picchu, and she’s going to be at Monster High at the same time I am. She told me that Headless Headmistress Bloodgood gave her my number and said that we should get acquainted. Marisol is a bit larger than unlife, and I had tae turn down the volume when she was speaking tae me. At fiercst I was a bit taken aback, but her energy is so infectious, I couldne help but like her. We checked our schedules, and we’ll be arriving around the same time, so it’ll be nice tae have another new ghoul tae hang aboot with. I’m also hoping she’ll give me some pointers on how she does her nails. They were fabulous.

7-1

Mum and Gran made a monster dinner tonight and invited the whole family for ma going away party. All ma brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins were there tae celebrate. The table was full of ma favorite foods. There was Cullen Skink, Eyemouth pales, Kippers, tatties and herring, rollmops, smoked salmon, rumbledethumps, black puddings, and the grandest haggis you’ve ever set your eyes on. Then Mum brought aboot coffin berry scones, and of course the best shortbread in Rotland. Then the pipes and drums came oot, and we played and danced intae the wee hours. We even took a family photo, and for once it was a picture I didna have tae sneak intae.

7-5

Had ma last swim aboot the loch this morning, and it was pure magic. I love ma home, and even though I’m excited aboot going on the exchange tae Monster High, there’s nae danger that that I’ll ever want tae live any place else. I also saw a boatload of normies casting aboot for a chance tae take a photo of the “mysterious” creature that lives in the loch. All the grown folk were on one side of the boat with their cameras, and there was a bonnie wee lass on the opposite, just starin’ down intae the loch. So I swam up, stuck my head oot of the water and waved tae her. She smiled and waved back, and then I was gone. I imagine she’ll still be tellin’ that story when she’s a gran herself.

#monster high #monster high diary #monster exchange #passport #lorna mcnessie

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inkedstarlight · 4 years

Text

Bittersweet: Chapter Four

Summary: In which Nesta and Elain are introduced to the Inner Circle. Note: Read it on AO3 here! Warnings: mention of eating disorder, weight loss Bittersweet Masterlist

September

Nesta was staring at her reflection when Elain knocked on her bedroom door.

“Feyre’s here!”

“I’ll be right out,” she called back.

Nesta directed her gaze back to the mirror. She didn’t know what to make of what she saw.

Her face was jaunt, the shadows under her eyes resembling purple bruises. Her face had always been angular, but never so bony. Her thick golden hair now hung limply, greasy strands falling into her face. Nesta hadn’t showered in days, and her breath reeked thanks to a lack of nutrients. She was the color of a ghost, nearly blending into her surroundings with her tiny presence. Nesta was shrinking into herself little by little. Until nothing remained.

She had never been so underweight, not even when their mom forgot to cook most nights. At Nesta’s normal weight, her toned thighs touched each other. Rolls formed on her stomach when she bent over. She looked like a woman.

But as she stared at the mirror, Nesta looked like a girl.

It wasn’t intentional. Gods, she’d seen what that sort of thing did to people. Elain struggled with an eating disorder since she was thirteen.

Those couple years were brutal. Their dad was emotionally absent, their mother gone. Feyre was working every day. Nesta did as much as she could, but… there’s only so much she could do. Their family couldn’t afford a therapist or nutritionist. Elain didn’t want to get better.

Then, Elain passed out walking home from school. That’s when Nesta had enough. She couldn’t stand to watch her sister completely disappear right in front of her eyes. So, she talked to Elain’s guidance counselor, Alis, who was the only qualified person there. The other counselors did shit. All they cared about was academics and nothing more. Alis gave Nesta pamphlets for free group therapy. Nesta marched home and told Elain about it.

She refused for a month.

Nesta had never seen Elain so angry and hopeless during those few weeks. Angry at Nesta for getting into her business. Hopeless in the way that she didn’t particularly care what happened to her.

Then, one day, Elain found Nesta sobbing on the floor of their bedroom. When Elain took a step closer, Nesta snapped. She screamed. Gods, did she scream. She begged – begged – Elain to stop killing herself. Nesta was desperate, and she knew the only way Elain would agree to get help was if Nesta asked her to do it for her. And so Elain agreed.

It took a long time; recovery isn’t a linear process in the slightest. But with time, Elain healed. She healed until she was doing it for herself, not just for Nesta. And now… now, Elain cherished her body. She’d once told Nesta that the intrusive thoughts still surfaced, but they weren’t nearly as loud as they used to be.

Nesta’s sudden weight loss… it wasn’t the same. It was the depression that was gnawing at her very flesh, the guilt that was eating her away until it hit bone. She didn’t care to eat. She didn’t care to do anything.

Elain had been trying to get her to eat every day. Three meals a day. She had always been a fabulous cook, baking and cooking until the sun set. Nesta wished she could stomach Elain’s food, but she felt as if she would throw up if she consumed anything more than a piece of fruit.

Nesta sighed with resignation. Turning her back to the mirror, she walked out of her room to find Feyre and Elain lounging in the kitchen. Elain’s profile was backlit by the window above the sink, highlighting her light hair.

“What do you want?” Nesta asked as she approached them, taking a seat on the stool. She’d completely lost energy during the past few weeks, and any semblance of patience was easily lost on her.

Feyre ignored her brash tone. “How are classes going?”

“Fine.” She didn’t bother elaborating. There wasn’t much to tell anyway.

“You look thin,” Feyre commented, running her eyes over Nesta’s barely visible body.

“Are you here to criticize my appearance or can I retreat back into my room?”

“It was just an observation, Nesta,” Feyre told her. Then, she addressed both of them. “My friends and I are having a dinner party tomorrow night at my house. It’s a small tradition that we do every other week. Do you guys want to come?”

“Yes!” Elain jumped up excitedly. She gripped Feyre’s shoulders, the latter smiling widely. “I finally have a reason to dress up!”

Feyre unraveled herself from Elain’s grip and turned to Nesta. “Are you in?”

“I’m invited?” She couldn’t help but ask. Feyre hadn’t exactly gone out of her way to spend time with Nesta. It wasn’t like Feyre was cruel to her; they’d simply become strangers after years of no communication. Feyre had shown Elain around town, but that courtesy didn’t extend to Nesta.

Feyre blew out a breath of air and nodded. “I want to try to fix… this.” She gestured between them.

Nesta would have laughed if it weren’t for the nervousness in Feyre’s eyes. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think I’m ready to meet your friends quite yet.”

I know I'm not ready.

Nesta had been doing better since the semester started; that much was true. Even so, she rarely talked to anyone, save the obligatory conversations with professors as well as her T.A.’s. She only left the apartment for classes and never lingered on campus to study or socialize. Considering it was a challenge to talk with her peers, Nesta was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to make conversation with her estranged sister’s friends.

“It would mean so much to me if you met them, especially Rhysand.”

“I said another time.” Nesta’s voice was hard.

Feyre squeezed the bridge of her nose as she tried to reign in her temper. “Please, Nesta? It would be good to get out of the apartment.” She looked resigned, as if she knew Nesta would refuse. “You don’t even have to say anything. No one there will question your silence, I promise. They’re all easygoing.”

She wasn’t asking much of Nesta. In fact, Feyre was asking for the bare minimum. And as much as Nesta dreaded the idea of being surrounded by a group of complete strangers…

You need them as much as they need you. Her father’s words echoed in her head.

Nesta nodded. “Okay.”

And with that, the tether between them began to mend.

------------------------

Feyre and Rhysand’s house lay at the edge of the city, the stars brighter without the light pollution of the city. Elain marveled at the mountainous backdrop as she and Nesta pulled up to their spacious home in Elain’s old Beetle. Nesta’s stomach twisted when she noticed several cars parked in the driveway. She should turn around and return home, she wasn’t ready for –

“Let’s go inside!” Elain sang as she unbuckled her seatbelt. She wore an off-the-shoulder pink dress, the pastel color complimenting her fair skin. The soft fabric fell just below her knees, a gentle breeze caressing the skirt of the dress. She was stunning. Nesta had told her as much when Elain emerged from her room.

Nesta, on the other hand, had chosen to wear ripped jeans and a black hoodie. How she and Elain were related, Nesta had no idea.

They strolled to the front door, Elain bouncing with each step. She’d gushed throughout the entire car ride about the stories Feyre had told her about Rhysand, which somehow led to Elain rambling for ten minutes about her dream wedding.

Gods, Nesta had never met a bigger hopeless romantic.

Sounds of laughter could be heard from inside as they stepped onto the front porch. Elain didn’t hesitate as she knocked three times.

Feyre answered the door just seconds later. Her golden hair tumbled to her shoulders, an easy smile on her face. Nesta had never seen her sister look so happy. She was glowing, and it wasn’t because of the warm lights behind her.

“You made it!” Feyre exclaimed happily, opening the door wider to let them inside. She noticed the dish in Elain’s hands as they walked past her. “You didn’t have to bring anything, El.”

Elain only scoffed as Feyre closed the door behind them. “Like you would have been able to stop me.”

Just as Feyre was about to address Nesta, a few people – her friends, Nesta presumed – entered the foyer.

“Everyone, these are my sisters, Elain and Nesta.” Feyre gestured to them as they stood awkwardly in the doorway. “Elain and Nesta, this is everyone.”

A tall, dark haired man approached them, sliding his hand onto Feyre’s lower back.

Nesta knew who it was before he spoke.

His violet eyes sparkled. “I’m Rhysand,” he reached in to shake their hands. “I’ve heard a lot about you both.”

Elain really wasn’t lying about his eyes.

He directed a blindingly white smile at Elain to which she returned. But when his gaze slid to Nesta, his grin slipped slightly, eyes narrowing.

What the hell?

“Well, isn’t this lovely,” a seductive voice drawled. Nesta’s attention was grabbed by the tiny girl who’d spoken, her hair sleek and short. She was standing at the kitchen table with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at Rhysand, and a raised brow that seemed to say, Really?

“I’m Amren.” She flashed Elain and Nesta a wicked grin. “Excuse Rhys’s poor manners.”

Nesta liked her already.

“This is Azriel,” she pointed to the brooding man behind her. He nearly blended into the shadows, his presence calm and quiet. Nesta couldn’t help but notice the scarring on his hands. She instinctively pulled her sweater over her wrists.

The man – Azriel – gave them an awkward wave, his gaze hovering on Elain who returned his greeting with an equally awkward wave of her own.

“I’m Morrigan,” a raspy voice sounded from the kitchen counter. A woman sat at the breakfast bar with a wine glass in hand. Her lips were painted the same crimson color of the drink she held. “But you can call me Mor.”

Another woman stood behind her, hands playing with Mor’s blonde hair. Her skin was a dark hazelnut, waves of thick, black hair framing her face. She wore a bright smile. Together they were regal, the picture of beauty. “This is my girlfriend, Aurra.”

Aurra murmured a greeting, to which Elain reciprocated with a bubbly enthusiasm.

“There’s one more of us, Cassian, but he’s in the Marines. He’s stationed in Turkey right now,” Rhysand explained. He directed the statement towards Elain. He didn’t seem to care to acknowledge Nesta’s presence. “He’ll be back in December.”

“Oh, I completely forgot!” Feyre jumped in. She looked at both Nesta and Elain. “I meant to mention this to you guys when I visited you the other day. Cassian actually lives in the same apartment complex as y’all. I think his place is just a floor above you, so you guys will get the chance to meet each other. It’s hard, though, because he never knows when he’s going to be deployed.”

Nesta nodded absentmindedly, uninterested in these people’s lives. She doubted she would see them again, much less the friend who lived near them.

After the introductions, everyone got settled. Feyre gestured Nesta and Elain to follow her into the living room.

“Dinner isn’t ready quite yet,” she explained, sending a pointed glare where Rhysand stood. He lifted his hands up in surrender. “So, I figured we can just drink and chat until Rhys can cook us something edible.”

Mor snorted from the kitchen at Feyre’s jab. She grabbed Aurra’s hand and they waltzed to the armchair that sat next to the vast fireplace. Aurra pulled Mor onto her lap, Mor giggling as she took a sip of her wine.

Feyre offered them wine. Nesta took hers and followed everyone to the living room. Luckily, she found a seat that distanced her slightly. Feyre sat atop a stool, Rhysand behind her to keep an eye on dinner. Amren lounged on a plush floor cushion, leaving Elain and Azriel on the loveseat.

The conversation came easy. Rhysand and Mor fired question after question at Elain, to which she answered happily. Feyre kept her word; everyone respected Nesta’s space. She was faced only with the occasional, “More wine?” or “The bathroom is over there.” It gave Nesta the opportunity to sit back unbothered and listen to the conversation.

“So how do you all know each other?” Elain asked curiously, gesturing to Feyre’s friends.

Rhysand smiled with fond memories. “I lived across the street from Azriel as a kid. Cassian is my adopted brother, so we all grew up with each other. Mor over here is my cousin. We all went to the same university. Amren…” Rhysand got silent. A small, contemplative smile grew on his face. “I don’t really know how she joined us. I’m pretty sure she approached us and told us that we were now friends with her.”

Amren nodded to confirm as everyone laughed. Her smile resembled the Cheshire Cat.

“And Feyre darling,” Rhysand looked at his girlfriend lovingly. “She stumbled upon us in our sophomore year. That’s a story for another night though.”

Nesta couldn’t help but snort at his nickname for her. Feyre shot her a glare.

After dinner, which ended up being soup thanks to Rhysand’s lack of cooking skills, they all retreated back to the living area. Feyre popped open yet another bottle of wine to top everyone off, and Elain brought out the cupcakes she’d made.

As they were enjoying her sister’s dessert, which was droolworthy like every dish in the past, Elain and Azriel caught Nesta’s attention from the loveseat. She’d noticed they hadn’t spoken much beyond “Hello” and “How are you?” Nesta attributed that to Elain’s innately nervous nature, so she was surprised when she struck up a conversation with him.

“Do you go to school?” Elain asked Azriel timidly, taking a sip of wine.

His head dipped down, tufts of black hair falling into his eyes. “I, uh, work at an animal shelter.”

Elain gasped loudly. She clutched his leg and looked at him with wide eyes. “I love animals! I want to rescue a dog.” Elain began rambling about the bunnies who lived in her garden, the many strays she’d found on the street back in high school, the bird she tended to when she noticed his broken wing.

Nesta watched Azriel smile for the first time tonight. Where most men would cringe from Elain’s incessant chatter, he leaned forward with interest. Nesta could tell he was hanging on to every word that left Elain’s mouth.

As the night went on, Nesta watched the dynamic between everyone. Where Azriel was timid, Mor was booming. She was always laughing at something (usually her own joke), and she made her opinions known. Nesta respected that.

Amren, though? Amren was a creature of her own. She was snarky to her friends, but the love could easily be seen in her eyes. Nesta immediately took to her.

And Rhysand? Nesta was unnerved by how… domestic Feyre and her boyfriend were. They acted like they were a married couple, for gods’ sake. She got second hand commitment phobia just by looking at them.

When it was time for them to leave, Feyre’s friends demanded they join again next week. Elain promised they’d be back again with a giggle, and Nesta swore she saw the light in Azriel’s eyes flare.

So, once a week, the lot of them got together to hang out. Feyre and Rhysand hosted most dinners thanks to their spacious house but occasionally, Mor and Aurra offered their place which was equally gorgeous.

As the weeks passed, Nesta slowly became more comfortable with everyone – though Rhysand typically avoided her, and she did the same. Though she remained near silent during the nights, Nesta found herself looking forward to the dinner gatherings.

And perhaps, perhaps she could find a home here.

#nessian #bittersweet #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #angst #my writing #fic

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azizi-kellerfamilyadventure · 3 years

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Reflection of the last 6 weeks of travelling on the road....

Yay! I'm finally getting around to starting my blog all about our travelling adventures around the US.! This is a my first time blogging so my kids would definitely call me a "noob" (thank you Minecraft!). I personally prefer the name "newbie" instead...lol

So here it goes......after a lot of persuasion on my part (close to 2 years of trying to convince my husband to tap out of this rat race with me and the kids to slow things down and enjoy our life together while travelling the US) and a lot of planning on both our parts (another year once he agreed to my crazy plan), we began on our Epic Travelling Adventure on March 15th!

6 weeks into it we have really truly only explored Arizona but we are not complaining because oh my goodness......Arizona is absolutely beautiful! It's so nice to know that since we live in CA we can come back and explore again and again! Plus we did get to spend some wonderful quality time with family from both sides 2 of those 6 weeks!

Next we are heading to Utah. We made a pit stop near 4 corners hoping we could have the kids take pictures while being in all 4 states at once. But unfortunately, it was still closed due to Covid. While that was a bummer, the kids still thought it was cool that they could go from Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado all within 5 minutes of each other! We haven't explored Utah before so Michael and I are super excited about the next couple of weeks!

This trip has already been so wonderful for our kids. Not only have they been able to spend time with some quality time with their cousins on both sides of the family but they have also really enjoyed getting to meet and play with other kids from all over the country. Surprisingly, our idea is not as novel as I originally thought....lol. We have met SO many families who are doing what we are doing. A lot of them do have one parent who is still working remotely while the other parent focuses on home schooling their children. There are not many families where both parents are not working so we know we are truly fortunately! Really the only people we meet who are not working are those who have retired and their kids are grown up.

Another thing that I have enjoyed seeing is that my kids can stay connected to most of the kids they meet virtually through games like Roblox or Minecraft! And while I'm not a huge proponent of games and many aspects of our new "tech world" (for example my kids wanting to get on youtube to watch other people live their lives!), I'm happy to report that this is one aspect of the virtual video game world that I'm ok with....lol

So I was never really worried about my kids not having opportunities to socialize with other kids since I know that my kids are super social and make friends easily both with kids and adults, the real surprise for me was how wonderful the camping community has been! Everyone is just so kind, friendly and helpful. We have learned so much and received so many great tips from so many amazing people at almost each campsite we have been too. I would say that we have felt the community vibe at almost all of the Thousand Trails campgrounds and would highly recommend anyway interested in camping to sign up for a membership! (Btw....if you are interested in learning more about a membership just reach out and I can give you some information on it)

After avoiding people for so long due to Covid, it's been so wonderful for all of us to connect with people again! While we started off strong wearing masks every where we went, we have loosened up quit a bit each day. Since Michael and I have been vaccinated and we don't see my parents often while travelling, we seemed to be less worried about it. Plus, many people that we meet have been vaccinated so that's always a good thing too!

To be fair, honest and realistic about our experiences, I'm going to include my top 5 "not so fabulous" things about our travelling adventures.

5) Not having enough space for cooking! OMG! Even the simplest dinners are challenging to make because there's just not enough counter space on our kitchen. And did I mention that I have to constantly take out or put back our air fryer, blender, toaster oven....and the list continues! And I still haven't used the instapot! It's so big I don't know where to put it...lol

4) Making my bed! So I love making my bed in the morning. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and I just like to look at a clean bed. While our bed is SUPER comfortable so no complaints there, it's a King Size bed but there's not a King Size space for the bed. I literally have to get on my bed to make my bed. I know that doesn't even make any sense but believe me when I say it sucks and I'm not how sure how long the "daily making of my bed" is going to last...lol

3) So...one of the main reasons of this trip was to spend more quality time with the kids. Umm...I'm now thinking it would have been smarter if we could have traveled throughout the US in our actual house. I mean literally take our house on the road. My kids seem to think it's an actual home. They still want to play hide and seek, tag, and the boys constantly want to wrestle. I keep reminding them that our RV is at max 240 sq. ft of living space so we can't treat it like our house back in Temecula. But I'm confident it's going in one ear out the other.

And I'm not quite sure how I forgot but I did... the arguing! It's kind of driving me a little crazy. And of course it mostly happens on our travelling days or when it's raining outside but oh my goodness! I think I used to just walk away and let them figure it out on their own but now I don't really have a place to hide. Did I mention that we lack space?!? LOL

On a positive note, almost every adult with kids whom my children have played with have literally made a point to come and tell us how well behaved, kind and wonderful our kids are. I smile and thank them for their kind words. But I can't lie....every once in a while really I just want to show them the video of them arguing about 30 minutes earlier....lol

2) Laundry! Ugh! I wish we would have purchased an RV with a washer and dryer. We are considering purchasing at least a washer but we need to find room for it first! Did I mention that we struggle with a lack of space...lol. In the meantime, I've literally been having the kids wear there clothes two days in a row (easier for Milah to do than the boys...ugh!) But don't worry, they are still changing their underwear and socks everyday...lol

1) Wifi! Where is this 5G network I've been hearing about because I can't seem to find it! When I was thinking of a name for my blog I was highly considering "wifi hunter extraordinaire". This has been my #1 thorn in my side. We decided to let the kids finish off their school year at their traditional public school since online was an option. Our thought was that it would make for an easier transition for them and it was only 8 weeks after spring break. Can we say "hindsight is 20/20"! I plan on homeschooling them next school year and should have just made the switch when we left. Don't get me wrong, the kids teachers are awesome! Super supportive and really try to be flexible but we still feel tied to being online at certain times for the zoom classes. I'm definitely counting down the days until they are done with school this year (29 days!)

But the most difficult thing about being on the road has been being away from my parents, brothers, sister-in-law, nieces and cousins in southern CA. Family has always been so very important to me and have always been a part of my "happy place". I wish I could take them all of with me on this epic journey. But for now, I'm once again thankful for technological advances like face time! (if only I could get reliable connection while on the road or at our campsites I would be much more thankful...ugh!)

Okey Dokey Artichokey....that's it for today! The good, the bad and the ugly for our first 6 weeks on the road. This took me longer than I expected to reflect upon our travelling experiences on the road so I will definitely be posting more often and not as lengthy....I think...lol

The rain has let up and the kid's movie is almost done so it's time to get the kids outside to burn off some energy then shower up and make some dinner...

Signing off for now....

~Durana

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thegrimzuera · 3 years

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Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down into a real-life, real BAD fanfic.

So for the sake of privacy, we’ll say that my name is Zoe. I was raised in heteronormative, Midwestern suburbia. Now for the most part I adore my family and I loved my childhood, but in this case it did not work to my advantage. You see, nobody ever told me I could be gay. Just slipped their minds, I guess. Oops? So for most of my adolescence I walked around like a chump, thinking I was straight. I mean, straight people, you do you! It just didn’t work for me. That in and of itself is Bad Fanfic Trope #1.

I dated this guy on and off throughout high school. We’ll call him Chad. I liked Chad quite a bit. He was nerdy and we had nice conversations. For some reason we just couldn’t click well enough to maintain our relationship long enough that it became permanent (hint: because I was GAY...!). Honestly, we don’t even need to dwell on Chad that much. He’d be the least important part of this story if it weren’t for the fact that during one of our “off again” phases, he met and fell right in love with a person who we’ll dub Sarah.

Here’s where it gets juicy.

Now I’d never met her, but everyone said that Sarah was just like me—but cooler. We were both cute little emo girls, we both liked anime and weird music, and we both for some unknown reason liked Chad. Sarah also had this really amazing accent because she had moved to the states from Wales. All of Chad’s friends called her “British Zoe.” Come to think of it, that title made me a little bitter towards Sarah, and if Sarah ever heard about it, it may have contributed to her feeling bitter towards me too. Of course, being directed to compete over Chad didn’t help.

So Chad dated Sarah for a while, but it was fine, because Chad and I were going to stay friends like the mature 18-year-olds we were. Even though I was still insanely jealous of this mysterious and unattainably cool Sarah person. It was during this time that I figured I liked girls (and boys, I still thought) and as I was toying with the idea of telling Chad about my newly discovered bisexuality, he informed me that Sarah had also come out as bi. Interesting, isn’t it? 👀

I had the opportunity to meet Sarah once. We all went to an anime convention together, and I distinctly remember taking a deep breath beforehand and deciding that this was the day Sarah and I would become friends. There was no need for me to be jealous! If she was as cool as everyone said, then imagine how great a friendship would be. But I was shy. And she was shy. And we had all that baggage between us. I went home that day feeling alienated and disappointed.

Now things began to get messy, because conflicting feelings often do that. I’ll spare you the ugly details, but tell you that my friendship with Chad ended quite abruptly when I discovered that he’d been juggling both Sarah and I romantically at the same time. So I split, made a life for myself 50 miles away, and that was that.

Except it wasn’t. Fast forward about six years—one marriage, one child, one mental breakdown and revelation, and a divorce later. I moved back to my hometown, and one night I walked down the winter streets on the East side with a good friend of mine. I didn’t often come to these parts because I was raised on the opposite side of the city and it was unfamiliar to me. This was actually the first time I’d been here in about...hmm, six years? But one coincidence is all it takes I suppose.

As we walked along, I happened to glance into the front window of a restaurant just off the sidewalk. I had to do a double take, because there was no way that after six years and only one meeting I would immediately recognize...Sarah? Also Chad 😒 I did not say hello. I didn’t know what to do at all! After a mini meltdown, I decided that the best thing I could do was to reach out to Chad on social media.

In truth, I’d wished over the years that I could repair my friendship with Chad—wished that things had played out differently. If we all hadn’t been so dumb, maybe I wouldn’t have lost that friendship. To my great surprise, Chad was very friendly when I reached out. We arranged a time to meet up for coffee, and for several hours we talked and reconciled everything that had happened. We caught up on life, and Chad said that I should hang out with him and his friends—and Sarah—sometime.

I remember the first time I got to spend time with Sarah. It was shortly after that first coffee that Chad, Sarah, and I went to a local pinball bar to play and have drinks. We got together to play board games and have dinner around that time as well. In both instances, I was floored by Sarah’s kindness to me. Despite both of us being rather quiet by nature, we had easy conversation. I also remember feeling like such a dork in comparison. Me and my carefully curated outfits and sculpted hair were overdone and pretentious when compared to Sarah’s shaved head and relaxed wardrobe of black tank tops and some of the coolest pants I’ve ever seen. It was all so effortless for her.

Damn, I wanted so badly to be her friend! Chad kept encouraging me that Sarah thought I was really cool too, but I just didn’t believe it. When I learned that Chad would be moving out of state, I realized I had to stake my claim on Sarah’s friendship fast.

We all got together at Sarah’s new apartment for potentially one last time. Merely stepping foot into this place had my desire to be a part of Sarah’s world skyrocketing. The apartment sat on the East side of town, less than a hundred feet from the very restaurant window where I’d first saw her. It was on the upper level of an old, hipster coffee shop for goodness sake. If I didn’t want to be friends with Sarah just to be friends with her, I certainly wanted to For The Aesthetic.

That night I also met the person we’ll call Katie. This was Sarah’s new roommate. I could just tell as we interacted that evening that something good would come of this. At least, I hoped so. I largely contribute my lasting friendship with Sarah to Katie’s presence, because Katie has such a way about them. They can take even the most shy and awkward folks like me and get them laughing like fools. A little alcohol may have helped as well.

I lamented that night about how lonely I had been, and I did so out loud. That really should be embarrassing, but I’m nothing but grateful for my clumsy and pathetic tongue, because it allowed Sarah to open her mouth and invite me into her life.

“You can be my friend,” she offered earnestly. “Once Chad leaves I won’t really know what to do with myself, so you’re welcome here any time. I mean it!”

And hot damn, was I going to take her up on that. I came home that night absolutely elated. I had found a place to belong. I wrote songs and poetry about how happy I was. I told my parents how happy I was. I had never felt so hopeful, right down to the tips of my fingers. Flowers could have grown straight from my chest that night.

A week or so later, I had plans to have dinner with Sarah, Katie, and another friend of theirs, Rose. I was growing connections. That was also the week that I discovered Sarah and Chad had broke up because of some deeply rooted trash-bag tendencies he’d been revealed to have. We won’t go into that, but Chad was out of the picture, and somehow that raised the stakes. I had no training wheels now, not even in the form of an out-of-state buddy who could encourage me that Sarah truly did want my friendship.

Fortunately, what came to be on that evening with the three almost-strangers was the beginnings of the most instantaneous, wild, and addictive friendship of my life. We talked about everything. We discussed heartbreak, joy, pain, existence as a whole. We sat on a rooftop deck and gazed at the stars, and we immediately planned a get together for the following night where we would meet Lena and Emma, and our core group of instant best friends would be complete.

I can only describe this friendship as a whirlwind romance. These were the true loves of my life, and it had all started with laying eyes on Sarah by means of coincidence or fate that night in the winter—after years of tension and competition! Talk about an Enemies to Friends arc.

But I’m not even done yet.

As I mentioned, our little group became inseparable. We spent all of our time together and poured more energy into our friendship than I had ever given or been given by another adult person. I learned that these people were the coolest to ever exist, and that they thought I was cool too. I finally l believed it, because they wouldn’t allow me to doubt. This was a fierce love.

For some reason, with all this fierce love, I always found myself dying to get closer to Sarah. Closer and closer yet. I also felt particularly protective of my friendship with her. I think this had everything to do with the fact that our friendship was so ill-fated and had been thwarted many times before. I promised myself that I would never let anything or anyone come between us. Sarah was my number one concern.

You can see where this was going.

Bad Fanfic Trope #2: Enemies to Friends [to Lovers]

Now let me just take a pause in our literary journey to tell you some of the reasons I fell for Sarah. Consider this a montage of sorts:

For being a very shy, very introverted person, Sarah lives loudly. She’s the one to show up in the most fabulous, effortlessly cool outfit you’ve ever seen. We once went on a walk to the park with mine and Emma’s kids—Sarah wore black leather hammer pants. She has about ten thousand pairs of black boots, each one unique and quietly elaborate. She just exists this way, never looking like she tries too hard or had to even put thought into her appearance. She just is.

Sarah also loves to dance. And she’s good at it. This was another thing that surprised me, I suppose because I figured that as a self-proclaimed awkward person like myself, she would be too timid to dance. But Sarah can and will dance to anything. Sarah will dance in silence. Sarah also knows and loves every song known to humankind. I’m talking tens of thousands of songs—she knows the lyrics, the albums, the artists, and probably the life stories of said artists.

Sarah is an artist herself. She draws, paints, and does pottery. For my birthday, she threw me the first party I’d had since my absolute failure of a sweet sixteen (in and around eight years prior), baked me the most delicious lavender cupcakes I’ve ever tasted (oh yes! Sarah also is a master in the kitchen!), and gave me the coolest, trippiest, handmade cup. It is my favorite cup. I would probably murder if this cup asked me to.

Most importantly, Sarah is the most kind, gracious, emotionally intelligent person I know. I’ve always been astounded by her ability to forget our past and extend such grace to me. Despite the way we met, she welcomed me into her life. She’s always the first one to check in not just on me, but on all of our friends and even people who have wronged her to be sure that we are all okay. Sarah understands people. She understands feelings and can express them so beautifully when she’s actually given the chance.

We’ve done the whole nine yards over the last year since we met (er, met again). I’m talking midnight kisses, bed sharing, romantic dinners, slow dancing, regular dancing. The problem was in figuring out if it meant anything, because when all your friends are gay, this sort of thing can be confusing.

Nobody told me to feel this way. A smart person would have told me not to. A smart me would have listened. But I love the feeling of falling, so I allowed it. I allowed it and clung to it. It actually happened quite fast. Sarah and I have always been honest with each other; it was something I prioritized due to our rocky beginning. So, when I realized my feelings for her, I wasted no time in asking her on a date.

Sarah said yes, but she also told me she wasn’t sure where she wanted this to go or if she was ready for anything serious. Her relationship with the trash bag had left her pretty severely wounded, and she was understandably still healing from that. And so together we agreed that this would be a date without expectation.

Sarah also told me that she’d never been on a proper date before. Trash bag had never bothered to do that. This was just more motivation to make this a good date. Not to pat myself on the back too hard, but I did a great job. I am good at treating people right. We went axe throwing (yes, very gay, I know), and then had dinner and drinks.

All seemed well, I was happy, she was happy. But, since we agreed that it was a casual date, I didn’t want to apply any pressure by asking her out again too quickly. So I waited and tried to play my hand wisely.

Now during this time, COVID cases were on the rise in my area and in the rest of the country. Hangouts in our tiny group had been easy and safe up until this point because of the nice summer weather and Sarah’s outdoor, rooftop deck where we usually would gather. Winter in the Midwest, however, made that impossible.

Now I thought I might lose my mind if I couldn’t see my people for the entire winter. Fortunately, Sarah asked me to be her “plus one” of sorts—each of the roommates in her apartment got to choose one. Katie chose their partner, and the third roommate in the apartment chose his partner. Sarah chose me.

I say again, you can see where this is going.

Sarah confessed to me that she felt lonely and jealous of her roommates romantic lives. They had partners, she didn’t. They were in love, she wasn’t. But here I was.

Bad Fanfic Trope #3: Fake Dating AU

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would I do this? Why would Sarah do this? Why, Zoe? Why?

Emotions are a very persuasive bastard, I’ll tell you that. Besides, it made Sarah happy, and I got to go over to my favorite apartment with my favorite person. We actually spent quite a lot of time together in this days.

One particularly magical night for me was the walk we took around a local college campus. This was near Christmastime, so the surrounding houses were all lit up with colored lights and the atmosphere just hit different. Even being out in the open, it felt intimate. We came across the most oddly placed bus stop in the parking lot. Truly it was an island out at sea—it just looked like it didn’t belong there, a little glass building with citrus light leaking out of it.

“That’s a portal,” Sarah joked, spotting it at the same time as me.

I laughed, but I was actually serious when I asked her, “Should we go through?”

So we did. We ventured to the middle of the lot and entered in the left-side door. The inside felt even more otherworldly, and I’m still not convinced that something supernatural wasn’t going on there. But we giggled like kids and imitated the sounds of machine and tearing space-time, and then we stepped out the right-side door.

I’m pretty sure that was the night I knew I was totally fucked. Up until then things had been pretty manageable, feelingswise. But everything about that evening just pumped me up with hope and adrenaline, and whether things went up or downhill from there is kind of hard to tell.

Things really were good! I got to dress up for mini, COVID safe parties and dance in the living room. I got to sleep over on movie nights. I had already been living out my fanfiction dreams to the tune of Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift for the last several months, so what was a few more?

Actually, it was quite painful. I say this was a fake dating AU, but I think I was the only one being fooled—and maybe Sarah too on some level. We didn’t really mean for it to happen this way. I didn’t mean to be the person who couldn’t control her feelings, and Sarah didn’t mean to be the one who led me on. We were supposed to be having fun—and it was fun. Until it wasn’t.

See, holding back your own feelings can be miserable. It’s fun in the moment until you come home to an empty bed and know that nobody will be joining you. It’s fun until you’re reading into every text message and searching for a hidden meaning. Everything somehow felt perfectly aligned and all out of sorts at once.

When I decided I couldn’t take the wondering anymore, I asked Sarah for the chance to talk. She of course said yes, and so we agreed that we’d find some alone time at our next get-together. This happened to be our jazz night party, and Damn, did Sarah look good on jazz night.

We’d had themed parties before, but Sarah really outdid herself this time. She’d taken the lead on this party, and when I walked in I found the entire apartment transformed. The living room furniture had been pushed back to make room for dancing, and the kitchen cart was rolled in as a makeshift bar. The plush bench from the entryway sat in front of a strung-up tapestry as a photo station, and the flat screen was adorned with some sort of “jazz club ambience” from YouTube.

Sarah herself looked like something straight out of the Great Gatsby. I’ll spare you the details because I’m trying not to be too cringe-inducing here, but she was striking and perfectly on theme. I’m pretty sure I looked like a grunge gremlin in comparison, but that’s neither here nor there.

I told her how lovely she looked when I arrived, and truthfully I couldn’t tell if she was the one being awkward or I was. It could have been both, in hindsight, but considering how things went it doesn’t really matter.

It was difficult to focus on the absolute beauty of the party when my hands were trembling and all I could think of was the upcoming talk of be having with Sarah. I didn’t want to look at her too long in case everything went wrong and she didn’t want my eyes on her, but she also looked gorgeous and cool, and she was making us drinks like a real bartender. This was the time of her life, I could tell.

Everyone else was having a good time too. Katie and their partner were two peas in a pod. And Adam (third roommate, thus far unnamed) and his partner seemed pretty much in sappy, romance heaven. It hadn’t been a problem before, but suddenly I wasn’t sure where I fit into this unique equation.

When slow songs came on through the playlist, the couples wrapped their arms around each other and looked fondly into each other’s eyes. Sarah and I danced, but not too close, and I definitely couldn’t meet her eyes right now. It just didn’t feel the same.

We finally managed to get some privacy when the others went on a Taco Bell run. I mentally went over my talking points and tried to prepare myself for what seemed like the most predictable outcome. I would make sure that Sarah felt no pressure with me, because that truly was the last thing I wanted. I would also make my intentions clear—I’d love to go out on more dates with you and just see if there could ever be something between us. Easy as that. I didn’t expect that she would confess her true and undying love for me (I tried not to expect anything really), but a large part of me figured she would at the very least agree to a date or two for the sake of discovery, and maybe she’d even be excited about it. It just made sense to me.

But, even as I was beginning to express my feelings, I could tell the direction this was going. Sarah smiled and said she also felt like we probably needed to talk, and that I was really brave for bringing this up—braver than her, she said. What followed was the kindest, most gentle letting down of my life. Really, she couldn’t have handled that conversation any better.

There were a number of reasons for her decision to turn me down. For one thing, she didn’t want to risk our friendship. We were already so close, and as she’d expressed before, she didn’t want to rush into any serious relationships right now. 100% reasonable. And, it kind of did make sense. It would have been difficult not to become serious very quickly considering how close we were. On top of not wanting to risk our friendship and not wanting anything serious, I suspected that she simply didn’t feel the same way.

At the end of it all, Sarah asked me if I needed some space to process, or if I wanted her to step out of the apartment for a while. That’s right, Sarah literally volunteered to leave her own home during her own party to make me comfortable. I of course told her that was ridiculous and did my best to carry on normally. I wanted to be cool about it for both of our sake. Alas, I ended up making multiple trips to the bathroom for secret crying sessions, and eventually I ducked out early so that I could cry peacefully in my car—and my bed, and my shower, and everywhere else for the next few days.

Yikes. Funny how it hadn’t even hit me until that moment that I’d been making the very same dumb mistakes I read about all the time on AO3. I filled myself up with hope that wasn’t there and nearly ruined everything because of it.

I tried moving on without much luck. I tried remaining friends with moderate success. Perhaps that’s being too pessimistic. Honestly, my friendship with Sarah is stronger than ever. It’s just that almost two months after Jazz Night I finally had to have another talk with Sarah—one where I confessed how hurt I’d been over the whole ordeal. I apologized for my mishandling of the situation, and she apologized for hers. Honestly, we both had a good idea of what we’d been getting ourselves into at the start of it, but we did it anyway.

Am I over Sarah? Not if I’m being honest. But my priority has been and will always be protecting our friendship, and I think she’s on the same page as me there. I hang out with both her and Katie routinely, and I’m doing everything in my power to fix this. I don’t think it’s as big a deal for Sarah as it is me in that she doesn’t have to alter her feelings. I don’t want her to change her behavior either—because our amazing friendship is why I fell for her, she didn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable.

So we’re carrying on. I guess this is an ongoing story, but the fake-dating part is over as are the fanfiction tropes that seem to have overtaken my life for a hot minute. I just thought it was so interesting—interesting enough to share I suppose.

(Honestly part of me things this would make a good story if I went back and documented these events in more detail—like, I dunno, multiple chapters or something idk. If anyone got this far and would be interested in that lemme know. It’s my real life but for once that’s actually quite interesting.)

#story time #yes this is true #should I write it out on more detail?#fanfiction #but it’s real life #fanfic #I’m a disaster gay #lgbt #why am I sharing this #might delete later? who knows

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dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years

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Unforgotten- Chapter 3

Previous chapters on AO3 A special thanks to @statell for all your help

Chapter Three

Jamie dragged through his rounds at the hospital bleary-eyed and stumbling to his office, where he was scrutinized by his office manager. If he had been coherent he would have noticed this look as a first warning, he was out of control. Instead, he locked himself into the office and sat back in his chair to doze until called for his first patient.

He knew it was time to pull back, get more sleep, stop acting like a teenager with a new dose of testosterone short-circuiting his brain. He remembered his call to an old buddy, John Grey, with an offer to get re-acquainted. It was an attempt to strangle his broken heart by finding something, anything, to make Claire Beauchamp fade away so he could be happy again.

“John! I havna seen ye in a long time, wanted to call and catch up with you. Are ye free for a drink on Friday night?”

“Give me an hour, and I will be.”

An hour later Jamie read a message from John, “see you Friday night at Mickey’s, can’t wait.”

It was too easy to slip into a new existence, a comfortable camaraderie with an old friend who knew all the hot spots and fun places to be on the weekend. The two friends were deadly together. Both strikingly handsome in different ways, both hungry, and both drew women where ever they went. Life was going by so fast for Jamie there wasn’t time to check in with the toothless twin in his head, so he ignored him.

He had begged off Jenny’s invitation for dinner so many times she was getting huffy about it. She left a scathing text message that drove Jamie to cancel with John next weekend. Either that or his sister would come into town and drag him home.

Driving to Lallybroch with a great bottle of whisky made him happy he was going home for the evening. It was late July and he saw groups of children playing as he turned down his street, bringing memories back of doing the same with his faithful friends. The estate looked great with all the fields growing full and healthy, almost ready for the harvest.

Jenny came out of the kitchen door, arms wide for her brother, smiling brightly. Jamie hugged her and handed over the bottle of whisky, noticing her approval. It was a wonderful evening, Jamie played touch football with Jenny’s boys and Ian, his childhood best friend. The rules of no tackle were ignored with the first pass and the men laughed and fell down, while Jenny dissolved in laughter. Jamie had introduced Lallybroch to American football after returning from his year at Columbia. It was great fun for the whole family and Jamie was in his happy place. Hearing the hum of a car and wheels crushing the stones on the driveway, he looked up to see a gorgeous Jaguar, top down, with an auburn head of hair behind the wheel. The neighborhood friends had joined the game and eleven kids hit him at once, crashing him to the ground.

Geneva stepped out of her magnificent car and laughed at the pile of kids that were rolling off as a big man pushed to his feet. She hugged Jenny and laughed at the funny kids. When her eyes landed on Jamie she smiled and waved at him. Jenny yelled dinner was ready and made the introductions when the men were coming in.

“Jamie, this is a friend of yours from grade school, Geneva Dunsany.”

Jamie looked at the Irish beauty with the crystal blue eyes and dark hair and felt his world tilt. He remembered her, a snooty little brat who lorded over the other kids because her teeth came in early and her family was rich. Now that she was grown up, demure and blushing, Jamie took a new inventory and his interest grew through dinner. They took a long walk after supper that was interrupted by his ringing cell phone.

“I’m sorry lass, one of my patients is in labor and close to delivering. I must go. I promise to send Ian to get ya because I have to run.”

“I know how to run Jamie.” She removed her heels, “let’s go.” Geneva took off while he was still contemplating what she said. He smiled his approval and caught up with her. When they approached the kitchen, she said goodbye and ran directly into the house, shoes in hand.

He stared after her and then peeled out of the driveway to deliver a precious baby that was already deeply loved with a promised life of affluence and support to be its guide in this new world. As Jamie checked in on his patient, he heard her husband coach her expertly and gave him a thumbs up. The labor and birth were textbook perfect, and he handed a very blessed son to the waiting father.

When he dropped into bed he thought about Geneva, happy she had grown up refined and tolerant. He called her the next day and got more excited as the weekend grew near. She was impressive to look at and her conversation was both stimulating and warm. He was hooked, and with Jenny’s encouragement, soon Geneva was all over his life. Her family loved him. A doctor was a very good catch indeed, so they welcomed him and paved the way for their daughter to solidify the union.

Claire woke up with an aching shoulder and gently pulled her hand out of the bassinet next to the Lazy Boy. The baby seemed less distressed at night when she felt a warm hand on her skin, so Claire obliged any night she wasn’t pulled into surgery by Cutter. She yawned and stretched before preparing a bottle of formula and thought her heart might explode seeing the tiny girl smile at her.

“Oh my God, a gift for me, sweetheart.” Little arms moved a bit in the air but laid still from exhaustion after a few minutes. Claire held her and looked into the sweetest eyes as she offered the bottle. The mother was released two months ago and had not been back to check on her daughter. Claire’s heart broke to know she was abandoned, but it didn’t stop her from giving constant attention to the baby.

“I think it’s time to name you princess. Luna is perfect for a miracle baby. Do you like it?”

The baby was sound asleep. She didn’t have the energy to drink the amount most babies do at four months and a full belly was like knock-out drops. Claire put her in the bassinet and wandered outside to the picnic tables to relax. The trees and high foliage had been cut back to lower fire damage to the hospital so she could see the sky and the brilliant full moon. She gazed at it and thought about Jamie looking at the same moon. It was a momentary connected to him. The pictures were pulled out of her lab coat pocket and she looked through them by the light of the moon. Everyone looked so happy and dressed up, having a fabulous time at her going away party. She looked at Jamie’s smiling face and her heart hurt. “Be well handsome,” she whispered into the night. Leaning back she sighed and closed her eyes, just before a screeching animal dropped on her face.

Claire screamed and batted at the thing, feeling it jump behind her head and pull her hair. She was terrified, running around trying to knock it off when she felt the thing jerk away from her. She spun to see Cutter wrestle with the animal and shout when it bit him. The monkey shrieked and tried again to bite but was knocked to the ground and ran away.

“Jesus Cutter, how bad is it?”

“It’s nothing, but I could use some treatment, do you mind.”

“For my hero, anything.”

Claire looked at the bite and steered Cutter back into the building and into a treatment room. She washed the bite with Betadine and giggled at Cutter’s face grimacing with the sting. She handed him a sterilized gauze so he could assess the damage from the little monster while Claire ran for Penicillin.

“Drop the drawers handsome and lean forward.”

She stabbed him in the ass delivering a five CC payload of antibiotics that would bring Hercules to his knees. She kept an arm on his back while she massaged the stinging medicine in his butt. She could hear him suck his breath and growl.

“Don’t be such a baby, Cutter. Do you want me to blow on it?”

“Well yes actually, that would make it much better,” he choked out between giggles.

“Sorry, I only blow the patients now, so on your way soldier.”

Cutter turned around and kissed her on the lips, ducking quickly to avoid her fist and laughing at how easy she was to assault. They had been glued at the hip for the last four months, forging a bond professionally and personally. Both knew they would walk through fire to protect and save each other.

A month after arriving, Claire came onto Cutter. He pulled her into his lap and looked at her like she was a fine treasure. He ran his hand down her leg and told her he was honored and excited she had chosen him. Then he explained that his estranged wife had made contact with him, and he couldn’t touch another woman if he was to share his life with her again. Claire didn’t feel disappointed, but she was curious about his fidelity.

“Tell me about it, please”

“About what?”

“Why did she leave? Did you want to control her and change her views on life? You couldn’t stop so she would stay?”

He looked at her for a long minute. “Is that what happened to you, Claire?”

“It always happens, that is how relationships are, and I rebel.”

“Not a shocker, sweet-pea, and you’re wrong about relationships. You aren’t old enough to have had more than one or two. You should never feel oppressed or held down by your partner, just the opposite. He should encourage you to fly and succeed. Men who want to change you are insecure or narcissistic and they aren’t worth your time. Don’t settle. You are in the upper five percent in gorgeousness, spirit, and skill. You just wait until the perfect man comes along and be open to him. My best advice.”

Claire touched his cheek before going to bed. “Thank you, Cutter.”

She walked back to her room to clean up for dinner and thought about that conversation with Cutter. Since that night, her melancholy was permanently parked in her head. She needed to talk to someone on the outside and on a whim, she called Laoghaire who was overjoyed to hear her voice. They talked for a long time before Claire asked how Jamie was.

Laoghaire assumed it was an old friend asking about another and happily explained her cousin was in a serious relationship and she expected them to marry someday. She described the beautiful and graceful Geneva as the perfect woman and Claire was finding it hard to breathe. When Laoghaire continued with details of Jamie’s relationship Claire clicked off and ran for Joe.

“Joe! Give me your phone.”

“What do you say, dearest?”

“Please.” Claire finally looked up and Joe saw the tears and pain in her face.

“Anything for you love.”

Claire sent a text to Laoghaire that her phone went dead, and she will catch up another time. When she handed the phone back Joe pulled her outside, where she gave him the sad story about leaving Jamie after two amazing days. Her confusion that started right after their time together, and her struggle to forget him. She cried so hard people were coming outside to check on her, only to see Joe’s warning to stay away.

He felt so sorry for Claire. She had arrived a different person and Joe could not get her to share anything with him. This was a bomb going off in her life, making her talk because the pain was overwhelming. He held her against him and told her she would not expire from this, but she would grow and find another love. He kissed her cheek with compassionate eyes when she pulled away to feed Luna.

When Luna was back in the bassinet sleeping peacefully, Claire could not stop her tears. She cried in the dark until the door opened letting the bright lights of the hallway flood into the room.

She hid her face while Cutter examined Luna and then he picked Claire up and stretched out on the Lazy Boy, pulling her into his side and pressing her head to his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it, Claire?”

He felt her head shake no and her sobbing continued so he just held her to him and they both finally slept.

For the next three days, Joe, Kevin, and Cutter took turns staying close to Claire. Her tears finally stopped but she walked around lifelessly and hardly ate anything. Cutter worried because she didn’t have any weight to lose so he pushed Ensure milkshakes at her and pestered her to drink up. On the fourth day of her sadness, Joe suggested she text or call Jamie and then kissed her goodnight.

Claire laid in the dark Lazy Boy and stared at her phone. Before she could stop herself, she typed… wishing you the best, would love to share a phone call, CB… Send.

Jamie struggled through another night of insomnia staring into the dark, listening to Geneva breathe next to him. She had been testy all week and refused to answer his persistent questions about her mood. He felt trapped in a cage when she got like this. Like she wanted to torture him by not letting him leave and not acknowledging his presence. He might find out in a few days and he might never know what set her off. He only knew he felt miserable and wanted some space.

Jamie picked up his vibrating phone and squinted in the dark. He got out of bed as quietly as possible and heard Geneva swear under her breath and sigh loudly. He read the text and was calling the number in less than a minute.

Claire tried to slow the ramming in her chest and sound normal when she said hello. The first few minutes were awkward as Claire was running to her room so she wouldn’t disturb Luna. When her door closed it was just her, Jamie, and five thousand miles between them.

“You don’t have a sleepy voice, were you still up?”

“Aye, sheet boxing with my insomnia. Are ye well Sassenach?”

Jamie’s head was whirling at this surprise and he had a moment’s thought to control the conversation and end it quickly, which he was helpless to do. Instead, he walked around his living room, kitchen, and outside where he walked the streets with the phone pressed to his ear. They filled each other in on the events since they last spoke. Jamie was amazed at the conditions she lived in and his story made no mention of Geneva. Was he sparing her feelings, or did he not want to open up to her?

“Well, it was great talking to you, Jamie. I am due to feed a baby, so I have to go.”

“Sassenach, why did you call me tonight?”

Claire was uncomfortable with her answer but remembered standing in the stadium parking lot and Jamie’s request for honesty.

“Sassenach?”

“Because I am still crushing, after all this time. I spoke to Laoghaire and she said you’re getting married and I fell apart. I’ve been crying for four days and I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”

“Sassenach,” his voice was barely over a whisper. She felt his voice wrap around her just as the tears were coming.

“How can I help ye?”

“Will you Skype with me, next week?”

“Aye, I will.”

“Thank you, Jamie. Goodnight.”

Jamie stared down at his phone for a full minute. He wasn’t confused or conflicted, and he didn’t believe this was more than a young girl feeling lonesome tonight. It changed nothing for him because she was never coming back here. Maybe this was the first night without a date for her, making her feel insecure and alone. Whatever it was, he wasn’t biting and doubted there would be any Skype next week.

Laying back on the couch, Jamie felt tired, of everything. He remembered the first time he touched Geneva and the excitement of pulling each piece of clothing off her. She was modest and kept him skin to skin, pulling his shoulders up when he tried to taste her. To date, she was still receptive, only in the dark and allowed only conservative positions, pulling Jamie into an orgasm by the shortest means possible. Sex was part of his benefits package. Something she gave, under the right circumstances, but seemed not to take. It was easy in the beginning because he liked her intelligence and the way she looked. Time will reveal all if you’re willing to wait and after four months, her true nature was clear, she was still that mean little girl.

This was the task before him, putting Geneva back in her box without causing a scene that would reverberate through Edinburgh and land on his patients. He was ready to spend another weekend in the woods and suddenly felt better. Another doctor would take his calls for the weekend and he could disappear tomorrow afternoon after his last patient. He slipped into his exhausted sleep and his last thought was kissing Claire on this couch, a long time ago.

Claire was thriving on the adrenalin and happiness that Jamie did not hate her. She blew through the weekend with renewed energy that was noticed by everyone. Luna responded better, her coworkers were happy with her banter, and the patients were more cooperative. Cutter and Joe did not like the change in her. It was a quick fix of some kind. She had not put the work into this miraculous recovery which meant it was fake and she would crash again.

Cutter called to Claire, it was time to go and watched her practically skip to the jeep. He exhaled and rolled his eyes declaring open season on Claire’s secrets and intentions. After a long day visiting the outlying counties to administer shots and general well exams they piled back into the jeep and headed back to the hospital. Claire was tired but undaunted as her personality emerged, happy and strong as she stood in her seat and danced with the wind her hair to a favorite song on the radio. She was so alive, uninhibited and free. Cutter laughed, wondering if this was the real Claire or her bipolar opposite.

“Stop!! Please stop. Is that a pool through there? Back up, pretty please?”

Cutter threw the jeep in reverse and looked where she pointed. It was a pool indeed, attached to a resort that looked abandoned. Claire jumped out of the jeep and ran into the bush, getting closer to the iron fence. Cutter looked around warily and called her back just before he heard a splash.

Running to the gate he saw it was open. On the inside, graffiti covered almost every wall and structure. His heart started to pound as he walked quickly toward the pool, looking for Claire. He started waving her toward him, but Claire had mischief on her mind, he could see it in her face. He said nothing until she swam to him, naked except for her underwear. He reached in and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her up as he started running back to the jeep. His grip was brutal around her waist and he ignored her protest and request for her clothes, left where she shed them. She was practically thrown into the jeep with Cutter’s eyes giving a directive she could not ignore. He spun the jeep in a circle and a death-defying race back to the hospital was underway.

Claire barely got her seat belt on before she was launched from the jeep. Cutter was unbuttoning his field jacket and pulling his arms out of it as they were bounced and jarred from the speeding vehicle. He held it toward her, and she was buttoned into the garment as the jeep came to a screaming halt at the hospital. Claire jumped out and ran for her room before anyone saw her in Cutter’s jacket.

She pushed against her bedroom door, panting for breath. The knock made her jump and she saw the doorknob twisting from someone outside.

“Just a minute!”

“Claire! Let me in.”

She opened the door to see Joe, looking angry, and the doom crept into her.

“Why did you do it, Claire? Do you care so little for his happiness?”

Claire looked at him wide-eyed and shook her head.

“What are you talking about, Joe?”

Cutter is only waiting for his commitment to be up. He’s going home to start fresh with his wife. Now you’re half-naked and so is he. Did you seduce him? Was it worth it?”

“Jesus Joe. No, nothing happened, and your boy is unmolested. I spotted a swimming pool on the way back at some spa or something. It was vacant so I jumped in. Cutter came at me like a crazy person and hauled me back the jeep, almost killing us both on the way back. What the fuck was that place Joe?”

Jamie sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the paper. It was seven o’clock and he was back from doing his rounds to wait for Geneva to wake up. He was calm and excited to get out of town later today.

“Jamie! I didn’t expect to see you this morning. What is going on?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’ll be leavin this afternoon for the weekend. I’m sorry it’s such short notice but I haveta go.”

“We have dinner with my parents tomorrow night, any chance you’ll be back for that?”

“No lass, sorry.”

“So, what the hell do I tell my parents?”

“That I left for the weekend. It’s time for work, maybe we can have dinner on Monday.”

When the front door closed Geneva tried to calm down. This was ridiculous and she was living in constant frustration. Jamie held her at arm's length from the beginning. She couldn’t talk him into any more than three days a week and she didn’t even have a pair of shoes in his closet. It was time for her to let Jamie know she wanted more. A ring on her finger was a good start, or she was walking.

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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Snow or sand? I love the beach, but hate the sand. It literally gets everywhere. I love the snow, though. I wish it snowed where I live. I’ll have to go with snow.

Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t like the sourness and it irritates my mouth.

If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? It’s only 5AM. I’m also not in school nor do I have a job, so I just have lunch at home either by myself in my room or with my mom in the living room or her room. That’s if I have lunch at all.

What is the last letter of your favorite song? I couldn’t choose just one favorite song ya’ll know this.

Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? No.

Are you a clumsy person? I bang my hand and elbow a lot.

How about disorganized? My room is a bit disorganized. I never used to let it get like that, but it’s a reflection of how I feel and have felt for the past few years. I’m a mess.

Have you ever thought about being a pirate? No.

If you text, who were the last three people you texted? My dad, mom, and brother.

Does today’s date mean anything to you? Nope.

How are you currently feeling? Tired and kinda cold.

Last male you talked to in person? My brother.

Have you ever had a sunburn? Yeah, many times. I got them a lot as a kid cause I actually used to play outside and spent a lot of time out there. Shocking, I know. I get them when I go to the beach as well. I’ve had some really painful ones. However, they always end up turning into a tan so that’s nice.

Do you use Firefox or Internet Explorer? Neither, I use Chrome.

Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No.

Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? I’m not a fan of lemonade.

Chocolate or strawberry milk? Strawberry.

Does it annoy you when people answer surveys with “idk”? I know I say “I don’t know” a lot. I try to answer the questions and in more detail, but sometimes I really just don’t know.

What is the current time? 5:08AM.

Should you be doing something other than this? Probably try to go to sleep, but that just wouldn’t be me now would it.

When is the last time you did laundry? My laundry just got gone last night.

What volume is the ringer on your phone? It’s all the way up.

Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No.

What shirt did you wear to bed last night? It was my Mario Bros shirt.

Where did you get that shirt? I got it from Hot Topic a couple years ago.

Do you hear any music right now? No, but I hear the ASMR video I’m watching.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? I like some of their songs.

Overall, how was your day today? Like I said, it’s only 5 in the morning so it’s too soon to say.

Silver or gold jewelry? I like both.

In one word, how would you describe your best friend? Fabulous.

Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There’s many.

Do you have an alarm clock? Yeah, on my phone.

What was the weather like today? It’s supposed to rain today. We haven’t had much rain this winter, in fact it’s been awhile, so I hope it does. Do you often write on yourself? I don’t do that anymore, but I did when I was younger. For some reason that was like a thing a lot of people did to themselves in middle and high school. *shrug*

Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? Yes. It’s a shirt from a place I vacationed at.

Would you rather be cold or hot? Cold, most definitely. I love wrapping up in a blanket, wearing a sweatshirt or hoodie, drinking hot coffee, or sitting by the fireplace. I love the coziness. Being hot is just absolutely miserable, there’s nothing I enjoy about that.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I like both.

Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I don’t eat mushrooms.

What about onions? Yeah. I don’t mind if there’s some chopped up pieces in some foods and I like onion rings, but I don’t like onions on my burgers or in my burritos or anything like that.

Are you a fan of Thai food? I’ve never had it.

How about Indian food? I had chicken curry once, which I did like. I couldn’t have it now though cause I can’t eat spicy food anymore. :/

Have you ever tried sushi? Yes, and it was absolutely disgusting. I feel like everyone loves sushi but me.

What is the weirdest food you have eaten? I’m super picky, so I don’t think I’ve had anything all that weird. I’m so particular about my food.

Do you know who LL Cool J is? Yes.

You have a pocket full of change - what do you do with it? Put it in my bag.

Guitarists or lead singers? Lead singers.

What does your mom say about the pictures on your Facebook? She’ll like them and leave a nice comment.

Where are you? In my room on my chair.

do you know your mother’s birthday? Of course.

do you like texting? Over talking on the phone, yeah. I don’t do much texting, though.

would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? Could it be pitch black and not a single soul in sight??

how do you feel about the person who texted you last? I love him, he’s my dad.

do you own a pair of skinny jeans? All my jeans are skinny jeans.

what do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph or Sis.

will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope not? Who knows when my next kiss will even be or who it will be with.

has a book ever made you cry? Yes.

do you like to cuddle? Sure. I don’t have much cuddling experience, though.

do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? I check the time on it.

are your parents still together? Yes.

Are you missing anyone? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

What do you currently hear? An ASMR video.

Plans for tomorrow? No. I’m so sick of this question, it’s like in every survey and my answer is always the same. My life is very routine. I spend all my time at home doing the same things, especially since the pandemic. My plans now just consist of my once a month doctor appointment that I have to go to in order to get my prescription refills.

What did you eat for lunch today? Like I mentioned a couple times now it’s only 5 in the morning.

Sex ruins relationships, right? No? It can, but that’s not a general statement.

Where do you want to live when you’re older? My dream would be to live near the beach.

Is your life falling apart or coming together? It’s been falling apart for the past few years.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? No, I didn’t even go to bed until like 6ish.

What color is your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I dye it red. Currently, it is a lot of my natural hair cause my roots are quite overgrown as it’s been almost a year since I last got it done. Sigh.

Are you spending the weekend with the last person you texted? Yeah, we live together.

Do you trip a lot? No.

If someone paid you $100 would you dance in the middle of times square? No.

Do you have anyone you fully trust? Yes.

What kind of pants did you wear today? I live in leggings, that’s all I wear.

How old is your television? About two years old.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop.

When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago.

Are you currently sleepy? Yes.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. I’ve never even been in the situation where a significant other asked or wanted me to do that.

Have you ever had bad trust issues with someone? Yes.

What accent do you think is the most attractive? British and southern accents.

Are you hot or cold natured? Hot, unfortunately.

Do you own any television series box sets? I have I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show boxsets.

Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend? Yes.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? A couple days ago from my mom.

Do you take any advanced classes? I’m done with school.

What is your lucky number? I don’t believe in luck, but my favorite number is 8.

Do you own a book bag? If so, what color is it? No.

Was the last movie you watched a horror film? Nope.

Do you own a lot of tee shirts? Yes. My wardrobe consists of a shit ton of graphic tees.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? No.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? No.

Are you a colorful person or quite bland? Bland. Well, except for my hair that I dye like a cherry red.

List one word to describe your significant other? Nonexistent.

Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? No, but definitely felt nauseous and sick and like I could throw up.

Do you remember the first survey you took? Uh, definitely not. I’ve been taking surveys since like 2004/2005.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 100 and something. *shrug*

Have you ever watched fight videos for amusement? No. I don’t find stuff like that amusing or entertaining at all.

In high school, were you in trouble a lot? I was never in trouble in school.

Do you enjoy your hairstyle? No. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it besides throw it up in a messy bun all the time.

Do you have long hair or short hair? My hair is long, it goes past my butt. Such a waste that I do nothing with it.

How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? None anymore. I haven’t worn makeup in almost 4 years.

What is your favorite television show? I have many.

Do you have a leather jacket? *Pleather, but yes.

Do you think anyone dislikes you for no reason? They probably have reason.

Do you have any children? Nooo.

Have you ever been interviewed on television before? No.

Do you have weak upper body strength? I used to have really great upper body strength as a paraplegic who only had upper body mobility and uses a manual wheelchair. When I was in school and had a social life, I was active. I didn’t spend all day, everyday in bed or at home all day doing nothing. I had toned arms before. I lost my muscle mass and now I’m weak cause I’m not active at all anymore.

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I don’t know. I say mean, hurtful things to myself all the damn time. My brain plays ‘em on a loop.

Are you good at sketching? No. I don’t have any artistic abilities, sadly.

Do you think hugs are awkward? Yeah, they can be.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No. I’m not a big fan of a lot of facial hair, though.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I dye it red?

What color was the last cup you drank from? It’s a clear glass.

Ever play Angry Birds? Nah, I never got into that.

Did you think it was annoying, like I did? It just didn’t look like my kind of game.

Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah, many times.

What instruments do you know how to play? None anymore, but I used to play some piano back in the day. I wish I took it more seriously back then. I wish I had practiced more and kept up with it because I did enjoy it.

How late did you stay up last night? I went to bed around 6ish. And that’s AM if you’re new here.

How late do you plan on staying up tonight? Well, it’s 5:46AM now...

Whose wall did you post on last? I share stuff to my mom’s wall sometimes.

Have you ever done hard drugs before? No. All I’ve done is weed.

Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No.

Do you own a Snuggie? I do.

What is your favorite band of all time? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? Nah.

Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It’s not something I’ve actively thought or worried about.

Are there any paintings on your wall? Yeah, a few giraffe ones and a couple beach ones.

Speaking of which, what color are your walls painted? White.

Do you have any talents that come naturally? No. :( I’m lame.

Do you have any piercings? Just my earlobes.

What is your favorite piece of jewelry? The ones I have with my birthstone on it.

Is there a place you'd rather live right now? Somewhere with colder weather.

Do you change your bed sheets often? Usually just like twice a month.

Do you go out often? lol.

Have you ever had plastic surgery before? No.

Are you afraid of airplane rides? I get super anxious beforehand, but once up in the air I start to relax a bit and I’m okay. Well, unless there’s a lot of turbulence.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? At least once a day.

Do you consider yourself a sensitive person? Very.

What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? My mom is so sweet and has always gotten me something like candy and a stuffed animal or something, but I’ve never received anything from a guy.

If you're reading a book, what page are you currently on? I don’t feel like checking.

Do you think people are intimidated by you? Uh, no. I can’t imagine anyone being intimidated by me.

Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job.

Do you know how to do your own laundry? I have to have help with that.

Have you ever lived with a roommate before? No.

Do you like candles? There’s a lot of nice smelling ones, but I’m just not a candle person. Give me a room spray instead.

Would you prefer internet or television? Internet.

What is something you lose often? Patience.

Do you have any classes with friends? I’m done with school.

Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? No. I haven’t entered any kind of contest in a really long time.

What is your favorite possession in your room? I couldn’t possibly choose one thing. I love all my stuff. What will you be doing in the next ten minutes? Finishing this survey, maybe start another, and listen to ASMR.

How old is your oldest sibling? 37.

Do you consider yourself physically active? Not at all. I explained all that in another question.

How many scarves do you own, if any at all? Zero.

Do you have any cuts or scratches as of now? Not that I know of.

Where did you last sleep? My bed, like I always do.

Do you have Netflix? Yep.

Are you colorblind? No.

Do you know anyone personally who is colorblind? Yeah, my high school chem teacher.

Favorite salad dressing? Ranch. Unless I’m eating a Caesar salad, of course. A vinaigrette is good, too.

Do you enjoy dancing? I don’t do much dancing.

Have you ever considered writing a novel? I actually have thought about it before.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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