It's time for another adventure of Verden, the Green Gummy Bear!

When we last left our hero, Verden had successfully helped to overthrow the Great Green Merciless Emperor, only one short day after defecting from the Emperor's Royal Guard. Now, eight years later, Verden has worked tirelessly to atone for the atrocities he helped commit in the name of the Emperor.

"A new danger now threatens to overtake us." Verden tells the assembled bears. "It could destroy the peace we've worked so hard to maintain these last eight years."

"Mecha-Bot the Destroyer has taken up residence atop the Gumball Dispenser." Verden explains. "From that vantage point, he can blast anyone and anything in our kingdom with ease."

"We will gain access to the Gumball Dispenser via the Tower of Yellow to the East. From there we will ambush Mecha-Bot and neutralize this threat to our land. It's a daunting task."

"Fortunately," the former guardsman continues. "We've got some very powerful allies on our side. This is Agent Carter, and my psychiatrist, Dr. Indigo Dragonstein."

"There's no one better to help us in our struggle."

Late that night, under cover of darkness, Verden, Agent Carter, and Dr. Dragonstein approach the Tower of Yellow, and prepare to infiltrate.

Their path is blocked by Charmander, who demands to know why they have come.

Verden puts on his best diplomatic voice, first cultivated during his time with the Emperor's Royal Guard, and refined over the years during his service as an Agent of SHIELD. "We are here to fight an enemy who threatens all of us, including the residents of the Tower of Yellow."

"Oh, you mean Mecha-Bot?" Charmander says. "Yeah, that guy's a dick. By all means, have at it."

As the sun rises over their shared kingdoms, the small team of heroes ascends the Tower of Yellow and prepares for their confrontation with the enemy.

"Mecha-Bot!" Verden calls out as Dr. Dragonstein flies him close to the automaton's perch—

"—wait," Verden says to his shrink. "If you can fly, then what was even the purpose of infiltrating the tower?"

"For the drama," Dr. Dragonstein says gleefully.

"Whatever." Verden returns his focus to the robot atop the Gumball Dispenser. "Mecha-Bot, we have come here to—"

"It's no use, Gummy Bear!" Mecha-Bot taunts him. "I shall never alight from my perch! I shall blast everything within my sight and I—waugghhhh!"

And just like that, Mecha-Bot slips from his precarious perch and crashes to the ground.

"Well that was rather anticlimactic," Agent Carter says. "I didn't even get to throw a punch."

Verden looks down upon the wreckage of the once-great robot. "We could have resolved this peacefully," he says with a sigh. ".....after Agent Carter landed a few punches, of course."

Back home, Verden lays on the psychiatrist's couch. "I don't know, Doc, it kind of feels like we didn't really do anything."

"But nevertheless, our kingdom is safe," Dr. Dragonstein reminds him. "And our people know that you made the effort to help keep it that way."

"You're right," Verden agrees, standing. "I guess the only way any of us can go is forward."

right right so in karamelle. is there any government? because it seems to just be ruled by the uber wealthy (fucking nana).

batfam headcanons bc i hyperfixate on them…again

anyway:

— jason stabs people to the rhythm of poker face by lady gaga

— dick gets banned on every social media site bc of his name

— when damian told tim he named one of his pets after him, he didn’t expect it to be one of the rats that live in the attic

— tim eats cucumbers with ketchup unironically (it‘s his fav midnight snack)

— they played uno ONCE and then never again

— same with monopoly and literally any other board game (exception is when alfred is present at all times and keeps them in check)

— jason was a theater kid in middle school and bruce went to all of his plays even if he only played tree nr 2

— tim and steph BEGGED bruce for a dance dance revolution…there are competitions every friday night, the loser has to go to brucie‘s gala‘s

— dick destroyed two (2) tv‘s so far because he forgot to fasten the wrist band of the wii controller when he played bowling with jason

— bruce complaints about everything his kids have been up to in a dairy (it‘s his nightly ritual)

— cass reads the dairies

— damian went as batman to halloween

— jason has an ao3 account and writes batman x bruce wayne fanfiction

— he is also one of these authors with the most fucked up explanations as to way he updates too late („sorry the chapter is late, i was dead for like six months but don‘t worry i am fine now“, „sorry for the delay had a brawl with some thug, turns out his grandmother’s name is martha too“ etc.)

— the whole fam cramped into the batmobile once after an exhausting patrol and demanded mc donalds. Bruce roled up in mc drive only to order a single black coffee. The drive-through worker was like this:

— Dick is a giant „Tim and Bernard“ enthusiasts. He plans a date at a baseball game. Dick pays the camera man to focus the kiss cam on the two. He cheers the loudest when they actually kiss. He dragged the whole bunch along too. Steph filmed everything. Duke apologizes to the bystanders. Cass is buying merch. Jason throws popcorn into the hood of a guy seated in front of them. Damian chews on his vegan gummy bears trying to find the quickest escape route.

— jason definitely spray painted the batman suit at least once

— tim once confused sugar w salt and put it in his coffee…he didn’t notice until he was half way done with his cup.

— damian has a pet tarantula

— jason is terrified of said tarantula

— bruce drooled on the keyboard of the batcomputer once after falling asleep in the cave

— alfred took photos of it

— Dick makes dick jokes

— damian tripped over his cape once but that is between him and the homeless guy who saw him

— damian planned to turn the cave into a petting zoo

the hardest part of living || chapter three || Gummy Bear

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human Wordcount: 4,259 Characters/Relationship(s): Hank Anderson & Connor, Original Characters, Connor/Original Female Character ADDITIONAL TAGS: Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Or: Connor learns that Hank can also be a MENACE, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution, Asexual characters Summary: Connor learns how to live. He might just teach Hank a thing or two along the way as well.

(Or: Connor tries to find a new mission in life and decides fixing Hank’s loneliness might be it. He doesn't realize he might be trying to fix his own, too.)

“Maybe you should put up a dating profile,” Connor said, and Hank choked on his soda. Connor carefully slapped Hank’s back–android strength was different from human strength, and he didn’t want to accidentally snap Hank’s spine–while Hank coughed.  “Yeah, sure,” Hank wheezed once he’d stopped coughing. “Women would just line up to get a piece of my fat, alcoholic ass.” Connor tilted his head as he considered Hank. He’d known the man was disheveled and didn’t take great care of himself. But for the first time, Connor had to consider whether or not Hank Anderson was, in fact, attractive. 

AO3

revolution of gummy bears🤡🤡

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Hello!!

Im Teddy James(or Teddy, Ted, Theo, Tj, etc). My pronouns are he/him and i am a queer, neurodivergent, and disabled very cool kid. I have ADHD + Autism, fit the diagnostic criteria for Tourettes, and, through a lot of research, suspected EDS(all undiagnosed for financial reasons). Im also a part time cane user!! His name is Jonathan hes bright blue and i love him

Some of my favorite books are:

-Revolution Is Not A Dinner Party(Ying Chang Compestine)

-We Are Not Free(Traci Chee)

-Refugee(Alan Gratz)

-Patron Saints Of Nothing(Randy Ribay)

Some of my favorite bands/artists:

-Palaye Royale

-All Time Low

-The Crane Wives

-Love, sadKid

-Jack Stauber

-Lemon Demon

Interests:

-Team Starkid/TCB/Shipwrecked

-Disney(special interest since a lil baby)

-Chemistry + Food Science(wanna major in)

-Cooking + Baking

-Singing/Choir

-Writing + Poetry

Extra lil factoids:

-Orange Juice is my favorite

-I love bread so much

-I am an avid monster drinker

-My favorite (haribo)gummy bear flavor is pineapple

-Big Spoon >>>

-I can dead lift 50 pounds

-I did ballet for 13 years

Sorry for being very long lmao. Reach out if u wanna b friends :D im always open to talking if ur nice :))

«Ok then Mr. Self-Righteous-Smarty-Pants, what is your solution? I don’t have one in the sense of a “pastoral program” suitable for an ecclesial Ted Talk at the next USCCB meeting. I have no flow charts, spread sheets filled with statistics, or power point photos of smiling kids in a pool waving catechisms in the air while eating saint-shaped gummy bears.

All I know is one thing and that is the need for a christological revolution of the heart within the Church the likes of which we have not seen in a millennium or more. This is what Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin were all about. It was their sole objective. We need a Church where Christ is viewed, once again, as the Head and that his cruciform reality is our sole metric for adjudicating both the Tradition as such as well as the movement of the Holy Spirit in that Tradition and in the here and now. The Holy Spirit bears witness in the Church to Christ and Christ alone. And any so-called movement of the Spirit that engages in an eclipse of that Christ is of the Anti-Christ. And we must not be afraid to name such idolatries for what they are: demonic.»

— Dr. Larry Chapp: “The Weirdness of Christ and the Authenticity of the Church”

Baton Vape Takes a Swing at Big Tobacco: A Humorous Look at America's Beloved Vape Brand

Welcome to the whimsical world of Baton Vapor, where quitting tobacco feels less like a chore and more like a journey with a cheeky friend. Founded by the visionary Thomas Vo, Baton Vapor has twirled its way into the hearts (and lungs) of Americans seeking a swanky alternative to tobacco. With all products proudly stamped 'Made in the USA,' Baton Vapor isn’t just blowing smoke about quality and patriotism! A History of Highs and Highs Back in 2014, before Baton Vapor was even a glint in its founders' eyes, there was Vertigo Vapor, Inc., nestled in the ever-rainy Bellevue, Washington. Think of Vertigo as the awkward teenage phase of Baton Vapor, where Thomas Vo and Gabriel Laurant, two buddies turned business partners, dipped their toes into the e-liquid game. But like all good tales of transformation, our heroes had bigger plans. Fast forward to 2016, and the dynamic duo decided it was time to level up—enter Baton Vapor. Imagine the montage scene: buzzing offices, clinking bottles, and the birth of Baton CBD, the sidekick that made chewables cooler than your average gummy bear. But why stop at one? Baton Vapor decided to conquer both the tobacco and cannabis arenas, proving that versatility can also be vaped! A Whirlwind of Challenges Just when Baton Vapor was hitting its stride, 2019 brought in the kind of plot twist you’d expect in a B-rated horror flick—Vaping Associated Lung Injury. Picture it: mass hysteria, news headlines screaming danger, and states slamming down regulations like parents discovering a teen’s hidden vape stash. Despite the turmoil, it turned out the real villain was a shady ingredient in illegal THC products, not our protagonist vape. In a dramatic response to Washington’s new taxes (because what’s a story without a little rebellion?), Baton packed up its coils and juices and set up shop in the glitzy desert of Las Vegas, Nevada. Let’s face it, if you’re going to get taxed to death, might as well do it where the nightlife never ends and every hour is happy hour! Innovation and Evolution Fast forward to 2021, and Baton Vapor decided to jazz things up by introducing non-tobacco nicotine (NTN). This wasn’t just a new product launch; it was a revolution! Out with the old tobacco salts, and in with the new, sleek, cleaner nicotine. It’s like swapping your beat-up old clunker for a shiny electric car—smoother, faster, and oh-so-sophisticated. Meanwhile, Baton CBD took a discreet bow and exited stage left. The website went dark, and the chewables vanished into the night. Perhaps it was a strategic retreat to let NTN steal the limelight, or maybe the world just wasn’t ready for that level of chill in chewable form. Baton Today and Tomorrow Through all the ups and downs, Baton Vapor has remained steadfast in its commitment to quality and innovation. Each product is a love letter to both the environment and the consumer, crafted with care and a pinch of American pride. It’s not just about making money; it’s about making a difference, one vape at a time. What’s next for our plucky hero? With Thomas Vo at the helm, the future is as bright as a neon light in Las Vegas. Expect more flavors, more innovation, and perhaps a little more mischief. After all, in the world of vaping, the only constant is change, and Baton Vapor is here to keep the industry on its toes—and consumers puffing away, healthily and happily. Conclusion Baton Vapor, once known as Vertigo Vapor, has carved out a significant niche in the U.S. vaping market, championing American-made products and striving to provide a healthier alternative to tobacco. Co-founded by Thomas Vo and Gabriel Laurant, the company began in Bellevue, Washington in 2014, later rebranding to Baton Vapor and expanding into Baton CBD. Despite facing regulatory hurdles following the 2019 Vaping Associated Lung Injury scare, which was mistakenly linked to legal vaping products, Baton relocated to Las Vegas to escape restrictive laws. The brand continued to innovate, notably with the introduction of non-tobacco nicotine (NTN) in 2021 and phasing out traditional tobacco products. Although Baton CBD has since faded from the scene, Baton Vapor continues to push forward with its commitment to quality, driven by Vo's personal mission to combat tobacco addiction, mirroring his own family experiences. This jovial yet earnest narrative of Baton Vapor not only underscores its dedication to innovation and quality but also highlights its adaptive strategies in the ever-evolving vaping landscape. FAQs 1. What makes Baton Vapor different from other vape brands? Baton Vapor sets itself apart by ensuring all its products are manufactured in the United States, emphasizing high quality and safety standards. The brand focuses on innovation, particularly with its transition to non-tobacco nicotine (NTN) products, offering a cleaner alternative to traditional tobacco-based vapes. Baton Vapor is also driven by a mission to provide effective alternatives for smokers wanting to quit tobacco, inspired by personal experiences of its founders. 2. Can Baton Vapor products be considered a safer alternative to smoking cigarettes? Yes, Baton Vapor products are designed to be a safer alternative to smoking cigarettes. By eliminating tobacco from their products, especially with the introduction of NTN, Baton aims to reduce the health risks associated with tobacco consumption. However, users should be aware that while vaping is considered safer than smoking, it still involves nicotine, which is an addictive substance. 3. Where are Baton Vapor products available? Baton Vapor products can be purchased through their official website, various online vaping product retailers, and in select brick-and-mortar vape shops across the United States. Since relocating their headquarters to Las Vegas, Nevada, Baton Vapor has continued to expand its availability to meet growing consumer demand. 4. Has Baton Vapor discontinued their CBD product line? Yes, as of 2021, Baton Vapor has quietly phased out its Baton CBD branch, including the popular CBD chewables. The focus has shifted towards enhancing their nicotine vape products and expanding their range of non-tobacco nicotine offerings to better align with their goals of providing tobacco-free alternatives. 5. What steps does Baton Vapor take to ensure product safety? Baton Vapor adheres to stringent manufacturing practices to ensure the safety and quality of their products. This includes using only high-quality ingredients and maintaining rigorous testing processes to comply with U.S. standards. Furthermore, following the vaping health scare in 2019 linked to illicit products, Baton Vapor has been proactive in educating consumers about the safety of legally produced vaping products, distinguishing their items from those containing harmful substances like vitamin E acetate. If you want to know more, please refer to this article: https://keystonevape.com/best-vape/the-best-disposable-vapes-2024-you-cant-miss/ Read the full article

Tara Bosch's Sweet Revolution: A Closer Look at SmartSweets

In a world where sugar-laden treats dominate the snack aisles, Tara Bosch has emerged as a game-changer with her revolutionary brand, SmartSweets. This innovative company is not just about candy; it's about transforming the way we indulge our sweet tooth. Join us on a journey as we take a closer look at Tara Bosch's Sweet Revolution and the impact SmartSweets is making on the health-conscious snacking landscape.

The Birth of SmartSweets:

Tara Bosch's story begins with a personal struggle against sugar addiction. Frustrated with the lack of healthy and delicious alternatives, she decided to take matters into her own hands. In 2015, at the age of 21, Bosch founded SmartSweets with a mission to create candies that satisfy cravings without compromising on health.

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What sets SmartSweets apart from traditional candies? It all comes down to the ingredients. SmartSweets is committed to using high-quality, plant-based, and non-GMO ingredients. The candies are also free from artificial colors, sweeteners, and added sugars. Bosch's commitment to transparency is reflected in SmartSweets' dedication to providing nutritional information on each package.

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SmartSweets has redefined the candy experience by introducing innovative formulas that prioritize health without sacrificing taste. From gummy bears to sour blasts, each product is carefully crafted to deliver a guilt-free indulgence. Explore the diverse range of flavors and discover how SmartSweets has successfully reinvented classic treats.

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SmartSweets goes beyond creating delicious snacks; it's about empowering consumers to make healthier choices. By reimagining candy, Tara Bosch has paved the way for a new era of guilt-free indulgence. Learn about the brand's commitment to promoting balanced living and how it encourages consumers to enjoy sweets without compromising their well-being.

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Beyond the candies, SmartSweets is making a positive impact on the community. Explore the brand's initiatives, partnerships, and commitment to social responsibility. Tara Bosch's vision extends beyond the products, aiming to create a healthier, happier world.

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Tara Bosch's Sweet Revolution is more than just a candy company; it's a movement towards healthier choices and mindful snacking. SmartSweets has proven that indulgence and well-being can coexist. Join the revolution, satisfy your sweet tooth, and discover the magic of SmartSweets as it continues to reshape the future of snacking.

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H, 7th meeting

H met me at the theatre. My friend A was there. She'd been announcing that she was sober, but her hands were shaking as she offered us Haribo gummy bears. I've seen relapses, and the way a person would try to conceal them, betting on your obliviousness. She was alone; her boyfriend, whom I'd encouraged her to leave, was spending the evening with his ex-girlfriend. The doors opened and H and I sat together and watched two pre-revolution films by Kiarostami; his first feature film, Experience, and an interview-format documentary called First Case, Second Case. Before Experience, the programmer screened a video that he'd received from the writer of the film, a sweet and enthusiastic message of gratitude. Before screening First Case, Second Case, the programmer showed us a slide show of the people interviewed in the documentary, and listed where they'd gone to school (always some Western liberal arts institution) and what role they eventually played in Iran after the 1979 revolution. Some of them became influential, brutal, and oppressive state actors after the revolution. But while watching the documentary, you couldn't sniff out the future brutality. Everyone sounded conscientious and idealistic.

After the film, we said goodbye to A, and then got Turkish food, and then took the S-bahn home. We took some selfies on the train. Selfies could never quite capture how attractive I thought H was. We'd caught a train that ran on a ring outer to the one we needed, so we transferred at one point, and then I mused that if we'd rode the train one more stop, we could have gotten off near Treptower Park and walked. H was struck with disappointment. "I would have really enjoyed that walk," he said. He fell silent, lost in regret.

The walk we eventually made crossed over the Spree, and was a walk I didn't mind. It was late when we got home and I was very tired, but I had made up my mind to have sex with him because I'd canceled on him rudely the night before. "I want you to talk to me," I said, while under him. "Disrespect me. Tell me I'm not good for anything except sex." I wanted to work out the frustrations I had the past week, feeling like a failure and a doormat, feeling like I'd lost control of my own time, hadn't done what I'd come here to do and ended up pulled in many directions by many different people.

H obliged. "You're not good for anything except getting fucked," he said. "And that's what I'm going to do--come around whenever I want to and fuck you and you're going to be waiting with your collar on, and your collar is going to have a little H on it to signal that you're mine."

"I'll be sitting at home waiting, doing nothing but waiting," I said, gasping. It was a release to say this aloud, to be naming that thing I hated while someone was aggressively fucking me.

I got on top of him and rode him slowly, almost as a break for myself, but also to relax into something more sensual and stimulating. H was moaning. "Here you were saying you don't ride dick but you do it so well," he said. After he said that I adjusted my position and tried to do what I thought was "riding dick" in my head-- to be more upright and move on the dick faster. But H said, "It felt good what you were doing. Do what feels good for you," and I came back down, slowed down again, brought my face and body closer to his. It was interesting that he'd noticed; I was turned on by him telling me to do what felt good for me because it also felt good for him.

H's command of English wasn't perfect and sometimes I had to wince my way through the things he'd say. "I'll fuck you very well," he said once, and had me composing a tweet in my head. But at one point he said, "You came to Berlin to find yourself, and you've found out you're only good for this" and I immediately started coughing. I threw my hands up, waving it all away. "Oh God," I said. "Sorry. Um. I can't." My constant existential crisis, exposed--too real. I pushed him out of me and lay on my side in the fetal position, cringing but laughing to myself.

Sex with H was only getting better. He was very careful around my need for breaks, and I trusted him. So I was free to make it more obvious that I was hungry for his aggression. He topped me and pretzeled my legs, and later fucked me while I lay on my stomach, with his hands pressing my lower back into the bed and angling up my ass. I used up the leftover water-based lube that H had bought previously and we went until I dried up from simply being too tired. H obeyed as soon as I asked him to stop. I hadn't come. He masturbated as I played with his nipples. He came all over the both of us and also on the sheets. By the time we showered, it was past 3am, and we were both dismayed. I pointed at the cum stains on the sheets and asked, "Are you okay with sleeping with cum on the sheets?"

"Yes, but let's change it because you're not," H said. I realized how indirect I'd been. I could have just said, "I don't want to sleep with your cum on the sheets" or even earlier told H not to take the condom off.

So H helped me change the sheets, and then we went to sleep.

The next morning we lazed in bed for a bit, even though I thought perhaps I should ask him to go so that I could have time to myself. But when H actually announced he was leaving, I grew moody, because I didn't want him to go. And I went, "Is this just sexual?"

H grew frustrated. He sat down on a chair and said, "I thought this was resolved. Why are you bringing this up again?"

"Why are you getting mad?"

"Because we talked about this already, but somehow the issue isn't closed."

"I need to talk about it again."

I didn't really know what I was trying to say. Only that I felt bad. I felt unfulfilled. I wanted someone who would stay in bed with me and we could tell each other that we loved one another. I didn't want a relationship, but my little bird brain wanted love. "I need to know how you feel about me. It feels bad that we don't talk about feelings."

"So you want me to tell you I love you and say this kind of shit?"

I grew tearful. I avoided. "Well, I don't know the difference between like and love..."

"Yes, that's true, it's a spectrum. Why do you even want that? You're only here for a few weeks."

"I know," I said hastily. "That's why I'm with you. Because I made that calculation." But I should have said, "Don't tell me what I should want."

An honest answer could have been, yes, I do want love. I want to fall in love and be in love. I've wanted this for months. I struggled to find the words, and H said, "Speak your mind!" And I produced this answer: "I'm unhappy because things aren't the same between us; you have an emotionally committed relationship and I don't; I have a desire for partnership and an emotional connection that I can't release. And I want to release it."

It was a "correct" answer--the type I make when I'm uncomfortable--but it wasn't a totally dishonest answer. It was true; I both wanted to fall in love and also didn't believe it was right to fall in love with H, who lived on another continent and was already in a serious and committed relationship. But perhaps in the moment I did want H to stay in bed with me and to simulate for me that loving romantic partnership, because it'd feel good. It'd lull me to sleep. I don't like saying goodbye. I don't like to be left alone.

I like being alone. Just not being left alone. Alone is always fine; it's often better. But the moment of leave-taking is always unhappy.

"I think you're good," H said. He hugged me tightly. "Let my body tell you how I feel about you." It sounded like a cop-out. But unlike with A, with whom it was impossible to talk, H not meeting my emotional needs made it easier for me to emotionally detach. His hug made me feel better, and when he left I felt all right.

//Vicky Reviews//

Vicky Reviews Proudly Presents…

In conjunction with Whoever Was At the Office That Day…

✨The 2022 Gummy Games✨

Ten bears enter, only one leaves

I won’t go so far as to say that my review on Albanese gummy bears caused a cultural revolution, but I will go so far as to say it caused an *office* cultural revolution. Never have I gotten such a response to my harsh words and even harsher feelings. Never have I heard so many unsolicited opinions about candy. Never has there been such demand for MORE, DAMN IT, MORE!!!! 

Well fine, then. You asked, I’m answering. Join me as I scathingly rank and disparage every gummy candy available at the Target on Bird Road. No sense in nonsense, let’s get right to the meat and potatoes:

In numeric order from "wow, heavenly" to “did you source these from Satan himself?”*

Albanese Gummy Bears

I’ll skip all the hullabaloo, because I think you knew this was coming. Nothing will remove Albanese from the #1 spot unless science finds a way to encapsulate the taste of happiness and the feeling of a tight hug from someone you love. Apologies to all the other candidates, but this position was filled a hot minute ago. Achieving nearly a perfect score, Albanese only lost points because I can’t reasonably eat a full bag of them without getting sick. These bears are perfectly formed, boast fancy flavors, and are, texturally speaking, a gummy paradise. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you! Just eat them already! 

2. Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers

Guys, this caught me SO off guard I cannot even begin to tell you. But I will anyway. A childhood classic turned adulthood object of dismissal, Trolli worms have totally got it going on! Of course they’re extra tasty because all that tart citric acid balances out the sweetness of the worm within, but even once all the sour powder has been patiently licked off, we’re left with a very solid gummy, and I’m not talking texture. Great bounce, great flavor, and MY GOD such potential for eatability. Ask Dani Todd about it, she has a lot to say! 

3. Favorite Day (Target Store Brand) Gummi Bears

Did you know Target has signature gummi bears? I didn’t, but Matt Cohen certainly did. This doesn't happen often, but I think Matt was right! The gummis are good! These come close to Albanese texture-wise, and one bag will provide you with all the standard (read: iconic, delicious, irresistible) gummi bear flavors you’ve come to expect from our tiny food-colored friends. These were just a little too sweet for me, but third place is still quite an honor! Good job, Target.

4. Black Forest Gummi Bears

“Healthy” Gummies have entered the chat. Flavored with ~some~ natural fruit juices, and ~other~ artificial flavors, Black Forest gummies are not actually any better for you than any other of the brands represented here. Still, though, aside from some mushed bears, a little too much sweetness, and a more ~luxurious~ price tag (I guess we’ve gotta pay a premium for those natural fruit juices? Seems like a scam to me), these are pretty good! I wouldn’t go out of my way to find them, but this is a decent option when you can’t find the gummies you really want…

5. Happy Cola

This candy gets points just for being cute - who doesn’t want to eat tiny bottles of Coca Cola? These little guys were nearly unchewable, but the flavor is all there. If you like cola flavored candy, they’re worth a try! Especially if you don’t mind losing a few teeth to cavities and the laws of physics as you try to unstick the mini gummy bottles from your chompers :)

6. Favorite Day Peach Hearts

This is where things started getting dark. These peach “rings” are actually heart shaped, and that should’ve been my first red flag. A jelly texture is no problem to me, I love jelly. Sugar coating? Unnecessary, but I won’t fault you for wanting everything to be covered in what amounts to edible glitter, I love glitter. You know what I don’t love? When things taste like perfume, and not in a floral way, in a chemical way. These hearts were so loaded with sugar that I at first didn’t even register the gross taste that lay beneath! I was simply too distracted. But let me tell you something, friends, that chemical aftertaste haunts me to this day. It’s like somebody was carrying a vat of peach flavoring to the mixing machine, tripped, and accidentally landed in such a way that every single drop of peach essence entered the gummy mix. They should have scrapped the batch and saved us the cognitive dissonance of loving peach rings and hating peach hearts, but no. I found them, bought them, ate them, and hate them.

7. Haribo Gold Bears

An open question: how is it that these are the most popular and also the least satisfying option in the gummi bear community? It doesn’t make any sense. They’re too hard, they’re too sweet, they hurt my teeth, and they’re really not all that. They’re not gross or disgusting, but they’re just not scratching that itch.They are basic, they are average, and I think you should spend your pennies elsewhere, given the option. Why did I even tank

8. Sour Patch Strawberries

Little known fact: feeding me strawberry flavored anything is the fastest route to gaining my friendship. Why, then, you must be asking, are these strawberries so low on the list? You got me there. The Sour Patch Corporation knows what they’re doing when it comes to texture and flavor, but these things are hecka sweet. Like so sweet that I had one strawberry and had to stop to briefly consider my life choices. These are tasty, but they just don’t deliver on their promise. The flavor is there, but the sweetness kills, the chew is a bit much, and I just couldn’t get past the disappointment of wanting teeny strawberries and being given teeny sugar bombs.

9. Swedish Fish and Happy Cherries

Bingo bango, baby, we’ve got a tie for second to last place! Swedish Fish and Happy Cherries each suck in their own special way. Swedish Fish: not a gummy! What was I thinking! Really, they shouldn’t have been in this competition to begin with. The texture is trash when compared to The Great One (Albanese) and the flavor is…..cherry? I think? Don’t come here looking for something that will satisfy your cravings for gummies. You shall not pass. Happy Cherries: definitely a gummy, but why do they have to dentally curb stomp me? These are cute, but WAY too hard to chew, only so-so on the flavor, and what’s the point of having adorable cartoon cherries in a bag if you can’t get through them because they’re so got dang sweet??? RIP, here lie my Mrs. Pacman hopes and dreams.

10. Haribo Twin Snakes

Kalil was really confident about these. Like reeeeeally confident. He even bought me a bag of them because he wanted me to try them so bad. I hate to break it to him, so can someone else do it? He was so wrong. Twin snakes are so gross. They ticked every box on my “what to avoid” list. We’re talking lame-o consistency, flavor whomst?, a zero on the eatability scale, my teeth were missing by the end of the taste test, I can’t believe someone who calls himself my friend suggested these to me. One snake is sour, one is sweet, but they can both go straight into the garbage. The whole bag can go straight into the garbage. Why is Haribo doing this to humanity?

Dost thou disagree? To be honest, having done the legwork, I can now report that there’s a gummy out there for every weird flavor/mouthfeel preference in existence. You’re allowed to disagree. But also, stop arguing with me! I’m the one writing the article, and my choice is Albanese! It never won’t be!!! You may duke it out amongst yourselves, because I need a good long break from the world of candy before I fall into a diabetic coma. Catch me in the potato chip aisle, we’re on to new, savory horizons. 

*All gummy candies were scored in eight categories: consistency, flavor, sweetness, eatability, toothsomeness, cost vs. taste, refinement, and definition. 1 = ew, 5 = ooooh! Check out the scores in the spreadsheet below.

you tell ME which is sexier

Mariana’s Books!

Historical: -Meet Mariana (Meet book) -Mariana’s Before 5th Grade Birthday (School/Birthday book) -Mariana’s Magyar Christmas (Holiday book) -Mariana’s Search (Spring book) -Mariana’s Hungarian Summer (Summer book) -Changes For Mariana (Changes book)

BeForever: -(Grand)daughter of Revolutionaries: A Mariana Classic 1 (book one) -Magyar Summer: A Mariana Classic 2 (book two)

Current: -Mariana: Magyar American (book one) -Mariana’s Big Search (book two)

Book Summaries: -Meet Mariana: Mariana Fazekas is used to attending Willard School, but she still hates waking up at 6AM! She also worries that compared to her grandparents, who were part of the Hungarian Revolution, she’s boring. What can she talk about on the first day? -Mariana’s Before 5th Grade Birthday: Mariana celebrates her 10th birthday a few days before she starts 5th grade. She gets some Barbies, some new clothes, and even some new Pokemon cards! All she wants, though, is the new game in the Mario series, Super Mario Sunshine. There’s one last gift at the end of the day and it’s from Mariana’s dad... -Mariana’s Magyar Christmas: Mariana left one of her snow boots on the windowsill to see if Mikulás (Saint Nicholas) will give her any treats. When she wakes up in the morning, she sees her boot full of goodies such as a Hershey bar with a Spongebob wrapper, a Wonka Bar, and gummy bears. When her teacher Mrs. Weston holds the class Christmas party, Mariana wants to bring in her favorite Hungarian Christmas sweet: Szaloncukor.. She worries about whether or not people will think it’s bizarre, but her grandpa Endre has a small Christmas tree lying around for such an occassion. -Mariana’s Search: Mariana’s grandpa Endre hasn’t seen a friend named Zsuzsanna Dobos since the Hungarian Revolution. She decides to play detective and see if anyone with that name is still in Hungary. Where will her search lead her? -Mariana’s Hungarian Summer: it’s summertime and Mariana’s headed to Budapest with her parents and paternal grandparents. Little does Endre know, his granddaughter found Zsuzsanna and she agreed to pick them up from the airport. Wonder if her grandpa will recognize his friend after so long? -Changes For Mariana: Mariana’s new teacher is a lady named Ms. Wagenfeld. She worries that she won’t be nice like Mrs. Weston, but she’s quite surprised to find out that she’s very nice. Something bad happens on the day of the Christmas party that makes Mariana question a fair bit of things.

In honour of Chuuya’s birthday (and my first post on this sideblog), bsd (but mostly Chuuya) headcannons.

-Chuuya likes rock music. Any sort of rock is good but he especially likes classic rock

-He does have a love of Taylor swift tho. Higuchi is #1 swiftie and they (along with Tachihara, who also listens to taylor swift) got together when red (Taylor’s version) came out to listen to it.

-Ango has a fear of spiders (which was discovered when Dazai put one of those fake spider things in his coat pocket and when Ango found it he nearly fell over)

-Chuuya and Dazai, when they were teenagers, went to an amusement park (for a mission or to mess around idc) and at Chuuya’s insistence they went on a lot of the rides. Chuuya is 100% an adrenaline junkie and loves roller coasters more the faster/more exciting they are and forced Dazai to come with him. Dazai absolutely hates the roller coasters and after getting off one of them he threw up and then they went home.

-Yosano taught Kenji how to make friendship bracelets once and so he made one for Kyouka when she joined the ADA and Kyouka thought it was amazing and so she asked Kenji to teach her. They ended up making friendship bracelets for everyone in the ADA

-Poe once offhandedly referenced the gummy bear song to Ranpo but Ranpo got really interested and listened to it and then ended up loving it and played it everywhere in the ADA for days.

-Chuuya likes to take photos of things and places so he has a whole collection of photographs but he mostly tucks them away into books because he thinks it’s dangerous to have photos of himself/people he cares about/places he’s been or frequently goes lying around.

-Dazai hated having his photo taken in the PM but on occasion he let Chuuya get pictures of him and when he left he took one (a picture of one of the rare moments of peace between them, Chuuya in the kitchen and swatting Dazai’s hand away from the food. It had actually been taken by Kouyou with Chuuya’s camera). The rest of them, Chuuya tucked into his least favorite poetry book that he owned.

-Chuuya is shockingly good at puzzle and tabletop games. He’s absolutely cracked at things like wordle and the PM learned quickly that Chuuya is very good at chess (because he and Dazai used to play a lot, though Chuuya never won against him).

-The PM has a game night, the black lizard run it and invite whoever they want to each week but Elise is always there, whether they told her when it was or not

-Games of twister get very competitive.

-Gin once won, after Tachihara was unable to bend over her because she held a knife out over her thigh so he couldn’t lean against her without getting cut.

-Higuchi loves to be dealer in card games and knows a lot of cool card tricks.

-Elise dominates in monopoly.

-Dazai and Ranpo love to go to movie theatres and watch random movies and then review them like professional critics online later. Dazai often comments how boring a lot of the movies are and Ranpo says how murder mystery movies could’ve been better.

-Chuuya has the top score at dance dance revolution in the arcade he and Dazai went to.

-Every year on his birthday, Chuuya takes the day off and wanders around Yokohama and anywhere nearby, visiting places that are important to him. This includes a lot of graveyards.