#the gay longing is real my dudes and fuck it sucks
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He took a hike out to Paradise Meadow today. I wish I could’ve gone with him. Espesh after literally last night imagining how nice it would be to lay in that meadow with him and play with his hair.
#this is goggles#the gay longing is real my dudes and fuck it sucks#I want to braid little flowers in his hair#sit on top of that huge boulder and watch the waterfall while holding his hand#I want to kiss him#why is he straight?#why am I a disgusting fucking unlovable tranny?#bleh I gotta get out of this place#I know I’ve just been saying that nonstop for years but oh my god I gotta get outta here#I wish I could find someplace that doesn’t make me feel like leaving#does such a place even exist?#I wish there were a place where only trans folks lived
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I’m Not Talking ‘Bout Boys I’m Talking ‘Bout Them.
ఌ pairing: Naomi Mcpherson x AFAB!reader
ఌ Warnings: RPF!! homophobia!! , slight smut, slight angst?, fluff, fluff, and some more fluff, realization about the preferred sexual preference (if that’s even a warning)
ఌ Word Count: 3.5k words (major whoopsie…no it’s not)
ఌ okay so as you may not already know, this fic is based off the song ‘girls’ from girl in red. it’s basically the prompt of the story. another thing, this fic is loosely based off me, being a bisexual woman, and not experiencing homophobia personally, but seeing how others around me speak and feel about people in the LGBTQ community, i haven’t come out to my parents. so writing this, i hope this helps in anyway, whether it’s a tiny small or big significant way, to help whoever reads this know it’s okay to be queer. to love women. to love whoever the fuck you want to love. be yourself unapologetically and once you stop caring what the people around you feel, and stop thinking about how you may offend them for your choices and feelings, you’ll truly live a blissful life. okay that’s it, enjoy!
ఌ
❧ I've been hiding for so long
These feelings, they're not gone
Could I tell anyone?
You have always been an ally to the LGBTQ community. You had many friends who grew up to be gay or lesbian, nonbinary, all of the above. You even have family members part of the community. You didn't realize until you had hit high school that you were into a spectrum of people. Freshman year, you were curious and never even experimented with anyone other than boys. But by your junior year, you had realized you loved anyone…you were queer.
The thoughts of wanting to understand someone so deeply and have a beautiful connection that would manifest in a caring and long relationship, was all you seeked. It was never a phase that every teenager convinces themselves they're going through—it was real.
But you knew your parents. They'd say they were supportive because you had family that were queer. But now and then, the unsupportive side of them would slip and it made you scared for the reaction you'd get if you had said you not only liked men but everyone.
❧ Afraid of what they'll say
So I push them away
I'm acting so strange
You so desperately wanted to tell your parents about the feelings you had and the thoughts you wanted to share. You just could never get past the what if.
Any conversation about your love life you had dismissed. You couldn't possibly say that you liked a girl or someone who was different than themselves in their eyes. You knew it was getting obvious with the way you'd shut down the topic. You knew that your siblings would catch on.
The jokes they’d make about you being queer because you haven't mentioned the idea of being with a guy recently were starting to irritate you a little more every day. You just had to suck it up and "forget" to tell them about the most beautiful person you had ever met.
❧ They're so pretty, it hurts
I'm not talking 'bout boys
I'm talking 'bout girls
You don't know when it happened but you just knew you had to speak to this person. Their beautiful curly hair, the perfect height, the perfect style, the perfect facial features that were accentuated with the prettiest gold jewelry in their nose. They caught your eye the second you had walked into the club.
You had been with friends and you just couldn't stop looking. Your friends picked up on the longing glances you'd throw their way any chance the conversation got dull someplace.
"Just talk to them!" Your friend yelled over the loud music. "What's the worst that could happen?" They sipped through the straw of their drink while moving their eyes from you to the person you couldn't stop looking at.
"No. Absolutely not. They're way out of my league, dude." Oh, absolutely not. Your friend was not about to take no for an answer. They knew about your family situation. Even though you were a grown woman, your parent's opinions still mattered to you. What they thought of you was important.
"Babe, you are so beautiful and hot. Please be real here. They're coming over here anyways, now's your chance." They smiled, sipping their drink again watching the person walk up to the bar.
"Are you fucking serious?" You took a small step back and bumped into someone. Turning around immediately, you saw them. The perfect person you had been staring at all night long. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I did not know you were right there,"
"No it's okay, don't worry about it." They smiled at you. The height difference was stirring a nervous feeling in your belly. Like someone had released a butterfly sanctuary in your belly.
"Let me pay for your drink, it's the least I can do for someone as gorgeous as you." It slipped out. You hadn't even realized you said it until you said it and saw their face looking back at you. The embarrassment was unbearable. A small smile graced their features and they were thankful you couldn't see the small blush creeping on their cheeks.
"Oh, you don't have to but thank you. What's your name, pretty?" They leaned down so they could hear you better over the music. Your knees were weak.
"Y/n. And yours?" You looked at them, batting your eyelashes. It was hard not to try and make them interested. You thought they were so pretty, you had to have them.
"Naomi. Nice to meet you." You both smiled and insisted on paying for their drink. You paid for it and smiled. The smile faltered as you realized this may or may not be the very last time you see them ever.
"Hey—" You both spoke at the same time. You giggled and looked up at them, signaling for them to finish. "Can I get your number? Sorry if that's forward but your beautiful and want to know if you'd like to get coffee sometime?" They asked, leaning back up to gauge your expression.
"Oh yeah! I'd love to." You gave them your number and for the rest of the night, you both went about your own business with your separate parties. Catching each other's eye from across the room every now and then.
They were the most beautiful person you had ever seen in your whole entire life. It hurt your brain to even fathom how they could exist.
❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts
I shouldn't be feeling this
But it's too hard to resist
You and Naomi had hung out a lot of times after the club incident. You were so glad you had decided to get out of your house that night. You didn’t think you could sit through anymore phone calls of your mom telling you how nice her coworker's son was for the last 5 months. You did have to, every now and then.
They had told you they were in a band. A relatively famous one. You hadn't known any of that and were about to explode when they told you they opened for Taylor Swift on her Eras Tour. What made you so oblivious to this information? You had been there. You even asked about the dates and you didn't even realize you had watched Naomi perform.
They also told you that they had a show this coming weekend and needed help picking an outfit or two for the music festival. They invited you over to their house, which was a pretty close range from your condo that you lived in. You had been over more than a handful of times. You guys have been seeing each other for almost 5 months, making it official in the third month.
"I say, you give me a fashion show and we can decide from there." You smiled at them. You honestly believe that you have never been this happy. Yeah, a few hetero relationships you had in the past you were happy. But you weren't truly happy. Not like this. You haven't told your parents about them but you truly wanted to. You wanted to tell them that Naomi had awakened a newfound liveliness to you. That they had made everything so much easier. You thanked your lucky stars for bumping into them five months ago.
"I say, that's a great idea, gorgeous." They walked up to you sitting on the foot of the bed, planting a kiss on your forehead, and then walking to the closet to grab an outfit to try on.
They changed in the bathroom and walked out in long basketball shorts, a white wife beater, a jean jacket, and a backward black LA hat. Heat rose to your face, and all over your body. Especially there. You blushed intensely and smiled. "So this outfit is a yes, then?" Naomi laughed as they noticed the immediate reaction your body had.
"Oh, hell yeah. I honestly think you should never take it off. Unless I'm taking it off you." You smiled and laughed. Their face flushed as they turned away for a second and looked back at you. You gave them a small wink as they walked up to you, crouched down, and grabbed your face pulling you into a kiss.
Both of you smiled into the kiss, which started to grow more hot and heavy. A small sigh left your nose and you pulled away. "As much as I love doing that, you have a fashion show to finish, baby." A small frown pierced their lips as they grabbed a few new articles of clothing from their closet and walked into the bathroom.
Walking out in a white button-up shirt, a tie hanging loosely around their neck under the collar, and black vintage Versace jeans. You absolutely loved this outfit. You loved the other one but something about this outfit made them look so professional, endearing, and just overall adorable. You had always loved when they would pick you up for dates and they were wearing an outfit similar to this with a button-up shirt.
"Oh my god, I love this nomi. You look so good." You smiled as you pulled out your phone and took a video. Naomi does a small spin before flipping the camera off. They laughed and immediately apologized. You both now laughing together.
❧ Soft skin and soft lips
The soft light from the sunset started creeping in through the bedroom window, adding an even more romantic ambiance to the room. Your soft pants fill the room.
"Oh..my...god." You sighed heavily, your hands gripping the sheets tightly. Your chest rose and fell with the swift motion and pace Naomi had set with their fingers curling inside of you. You could not lie and say this wasn't better than any sex you had ever prior to now.
"You're doing so good for me, sweet girl." A whiny moan left your throat as their soft praises and new pet name coaxed you closer and closer to the finish line. Your eyes looked into theirs. Your walls tighten around their slender fingers. How could someone be so good with just their fingers?
"Uh...don't stop. So close, baby." Your voice rose and thighs closed. "Just like that. I'm so close." You could not fathom the feeling they were making you feel. In almost a mere second, their fingers curled in just the right spot causing a soft scream to escape your lips.
"Oh, baby." Naomi looked down at you, head dropping to kiss up your neck. Their soft lips traveled across your jawline, lips brushing the lobe of your ear. "Let go for me." They whispered, another soft whine left your lips as you did what they asked of you. "Yeah, just like that, baby."
Naomi maneuvered their body back in front of your aching cunt. Sliding their fingers out, catching whatever slipped out with their tongue. You let out a soft cry, overly sensitive to touch as you were still coming down from what felt like the best high in your life. Naomi then put the fingers they had buried inside of you in their mouth, sucking and licking off any remnants of your orgasm off their fingers.
You wouldn't lie...you could've come all over again just by watching them watch you while they did that. They then placed a soft kiss on your clit, a soft satisfied hum leaving their lips. Their lips trailed up your body until they found solace on yours again. The passionate kiss left you breathless and tasting yourself on their tongue.
Naomi’s arms planted on either side of your waist, you ran your hands slowly up their arms. From their soft and slender wrists, all the way to the open expanse of their shirtless back. Naomi sighs at the cool sensation of your rings dragging across their body.
You then pulled them in for another kiss, your arms slung over the back of their neck. Your fingertips graze the beautiful crazy curls on their head.
You could stay here forever.
❧ I should be into this guy
But it's just a waste of time
He's really not my type
I know what I like
"No, mom." I am not going on a date with Nick. He's not my type at the moment." You looked at Naomi, an incredulous look on your face, a quiet tut of laughter leaving their lips as their hand glided up your thigh.
"Why not? What is your type then?" Your mom asked over the phone. You didn't know if you had wanted to flat-out say that you had been seeing someone. The someone being a famous queer public figure. Your mom on speaker, Naomi being able to hear the whole conversation.
They nodded their head at you, a look of encouragement in their eyes. This whole ‘your mom trying to set you up’ thing was getting old. You just wanted to tell her that you were so in love with your partner.
"Mommy, I'm already seeing someone. And they make me very happy, any more than a man could." Naomi squeezed your thigh, their head resting in their hand that was leaning on the back of the couch. You smiled at them, mouthing 'I love you.' They did it back. Big smile across their face.
"What do you mean "any more than a man could"? Are you dating a woman? Are you seriously dating a woman? Y/n, don't make me tell your dad about this. What do you think he'll say?" She sighed loudly over the speaker. You started to get super nervous.
You rubbed your other hand that wasn't holding the phone, across your chest. A heavy feeling weighing down on you suddenly. "No, mommy. They're not a woman either. They're nonbinary, which means they don't choose to identify as a boy or girl. I love them. They make me happy."
"I don't want to hear details about this gay relationship."
"I never said anything about that."
"Well, I don't want to hear about it. I have to go. And I'm going to tell your father about this." You didn't even feel nervous anymore. The hard part was over and you honestly felt irritated that your mom couldn't just be happy that you were happy. Why did it matter who was making you happy?
"Okay, whatever." You hung up the phone and flopped your head against Naomi's chest. "I'm sorry she said what she said, baby. I didn't think she'd take it that bad. For once I thought she’d just listen and still accept what’s happening." You looked up at them. They leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips.
"It's okay. We'll be okay. At least she knows now. The hard part is over, love."
"Yes. It's finally over." You both lay there on your couch, cuddling for the rest of the morning. You could only think about how their opinions slowly started to not matter what they thought of Naomi. It only mattered what you thought and you thought the absolute world of them. You had truly never met anyone like them.
❧ No, this is not a phase
Or a coming of age
This will never change
You and your parents had been fighting over the phone and dinner for the last week. They couldn't get used to the pronouns Naomi had gone by and not identifying with a gender, how they lived their life, and how we both chose to live it together.
You had slowly started to get over your parent’s projecting and ignorance and felt at peace with your life. With your Naomi. They had known how stressful this had been for you, so a nice romantic weekend was planned for the both of you. Granted the weekend had consisted of you two at Josettes parent's vacation cabin by the lake. It was honestly so beautiful.
The second night you were there, you celebrated your one-year anniversary with a nice candlelit dinner and walk outside by the dock. When you reached the end of the dock looking out across the lake, the moon casting the perfect light over the royal blue waters. "Naomi look how beautiful." You looked across at the landscape in front of you, your smile faltering when Naomi said they couldn't see it. "What do you me- Oh my god."
Naomi was on one knee, a beautiful diamond ring in their hand. "Holy shit. No way. Naomi." You couldn't help the tears falling and the laughing trying to hide the fact that you were literally sobbing.
"Y/n. You are so perfect. From your hair to your contagious laugh. Everything about you is engraved in my brain. I think about you when I'm thousands of miles away and when I'm right under you while you sleep against me." You could not stop the loud sob that escaped your throat. You immediately got on your knees and cupped their face. "I can't even remember what my life was like before you were in it and I don't want to know how it is after. I never want to have an after-you. This," they motioned their index finger between the two of you. Their eyes welling up with tears too. "Is forever. You and me. Will you marry me?" You kissed their lips, the kiss so tender yet so full of every emotion you could possibly feel in a moment like this.
"Yes. Yes. It will always be a yes, baby." You continued to cry as they slid the ring on your finger. You could not have imagined that this would be your life a year ago. You never wanted to forget this. Forget them.
Your parents would never understand you both. No matter how much they tried to will this relationship away. You both had already left an imprint in each other's lives. This was forever or nothing. Happiness or nothing. Your love for each other was never going away.
❧ They're so pretty, it hurts
I'm not talking 'bout boys
I'm talking 'bout girls
You had spent the next day at the cabin wrapped in the sheets and each other's embrace. The bliss that came with Naomi was something so sacred and real. You knew that when you looked at them.
You had woken up before them. The sun shining through the window behind you. Sitting up, wrapping and holding the sheets over your naked frame, you reached over and took a picture of their peaceful state of sleep.
The way the sun shines on their features, accentuating the gorgeous freckles across their face, you posted it on your Instagram story. The first time your family will see that this was never a phase. It was real and it was happening.
Captioning the picture, "I can't wait to marry you." You had tagged Naomi before turning your phone off and laying back down next to them. Snuggling in closer, they wrapped their arm around your frame and pulled you closer before placing a soft kiss on your head. You both had gone back to sleep. Just you two against the world.
❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts
They're so pretty, it hurts
I'm not talking 'bout boys
I'm talking 'bout girls
You knew you couldn't count on them to be here. The one special day that you'd ever have in your life and your family couldn't set their pride aside and be there. It didn't bother you much because you had friends and they showed up for you. That's what counted. That's the only thing that matters aside from marrying the love of your life. But it still hurt.
Josette had suggested she walk you down the aisle and you loved the idea. As you both walked down the aisle, you looked at her and then at Naomi. You three had all been crying as the seconds ticked that the marriage was official.
Naomi in their tux, you in your long white wedding dress. This was perfect. They were perfect. A button-up shirt never looked as good on them as it did right now.
❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts
'Cause I don't know what to do
It's not like I get to choose
Who I love
Your honeymoon consisted of laying in bed, sex, beach, sex, laying in bed, more sex, and sleeping. Falling for them was singlehandedly the best thing you had ever done. You could not believe this is who you got to do life with for the rest of it.
You didn't choose to be queer. But you sure as hell glad that it got you here in this moment.
❧ They're so pretty, it hurts
I'm not talking 'bout boys
I'm talking 'bout girls
They're so pretty with their button-up shirts
And they're so pretty, it hurts
I'm not talking 'bout boys
I'm talking 'bout girls
They're so pretty, it hurts
Being out, not giving a single damn about who had to say what about your marriage, was a blissful life. You get to watch your soulmate do what they love, be who they are, and choose you to be a part of it. Going through the suppression and ignorance to get here...was so rewarding.
Naomi. They were so pretty it hurt to even express the amount of attraction and admiration you had for them. You got to have them. All of them.
Forever.
ఌ loving someone for who they are is all that matters. Whether your bisexual, lesbian, pan, etc. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. Even if your not out yet, that’s okay. You won’t be in the closet forever, you will be yourself openly and unapologetically, whether it’s tomorrow or in the next year (and i’ll be on that journey with you); Loving a woman, loving your partner, is not a crime. It’s not wrong. No matter what anyone says. They can’t take your love, your identity, yourself, away from you. Never forget it.
#tumblrpost#writers on tumblr#fluff#munagenius#josette maskin#i love naomi mcpherson#i love josette maskin#i love boygenius#i love muna#naomi mcpherson#naomi mcpherson fluff#naomi mcpherson smut#naomi mcpherson x reader#muna#munagenius fluff#muna x reader#muna band#sapphic community#sapphic wlw#sapphic writing#sapphic#wlw post#wlw yearning#wlw blog#wlw#wlw ns/fw#wlw love#wlw community#nonbinary#non binary love
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Aight here’s a few of my favorite SP fics that no one asked for
I’m generally more of a one shot kinda lad but since getting into South Park I’ve read SO MANY GREAT longer ones so here’s just some highlights: (all on ao3)
Ship In A Bottle FayOfTheForest. One of the first sp AU’s I read, we got PIRATES. HOMOEROTIC SWORD FIGHTING. WLW CREEK. SLOW BURN STYLE. (Injured stan my beloved) KENNY. BUNNY. The parents SUCK. Literally such a kickass story!
This House of Mine by OrcaTimes. VIOLENCE. GANG ACTIVITY. CREEK. I really love the characterization of everyone in this fic, especially Craig. Seriously man. Also THE K2 IN THIS SLAYS (we got some PRIME Kyle injury too god I love him) THE ENDING IS SO SATISFYING TOO!!!
Peppermint by boxwinebaddie. Bro. Literally my all time favorite style fic. I’m so serious. The writing and story are BEAUTIFUL LIKE SO FUCKING AMAZING The PINING. THE HEADCANONS. I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS. Pls if you check out any of my Recs READ THIS ONE.
Maybe For Real This Time & The Kids Are Alright by WeirdBBQDad. Dude. I have no words other than KENNY FUCKIN MCCORMICK. Also Style. Also families. Just- just check it out.
Hang ‘Em High by littledeathsinmusicalbeds. Cowboy au. Creek. Established Style. Bounty hunter Kenny. Massive slay.
The Thief Trilogy by wintergrew. WHEN I SAY IT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE. The world building is PHENOMENAL literally my favorite SOT AU OF ALL. Long as hell, but SO worth the read holy fuck. I adore Stick Of Truth.
You’re The Prettiest Boy I’ve Ever Seen by burnt_pancakes. CREEK. STYLE. MISCOMMUNICATION. BUNNY. KENNY IN GENERAL. the friendships in this are PERFECT.
Your name written upon mine by sooduhnim. SOT STYLE. Soulmate au that’s INCREDIBLE seriously I love this one and can’t wait for an update.
How We Began by PastorCraigEnjoyer. Ok yes I’m cringy as shit for the self promo but this is my favorite long fic that I’ve written. Slow burn SOT STYLE, no war just fantasy gays falling in love, injury, sickfic, all my favorite bullshit and I loved writing it ok.
N1SM by kiritila. A classic in the fandom. Style. A masterpiece.
Between the Sinners and the Saints by KaiterTot. Oh. My. God. When I say this one altered my brain chemistry… THE ENDING DUDE HOLY-
A Few Last Wolves by Jwink85. Yes, I am a resident of the State Of Style by way of Creek Nation but this is Cryle. And it’s a slay. If y’all liked Frank and Bills episode in TLOU, it’s kind of an au of that. It works man.
Winter Butterfly ALSO by Jwink85 and ALSO Cryle. What can I say it’s incredible. The Style in the beginning is CUTE until shit hits the fan, too, and I thought this fic was a really interesting take on all the characters and relationships. I adore Tweek in this one too.
Something Sweet Like Honey by bluebryy. Ok this one is unsettling and creepy Craig makes me feel icky but I cannot WAIT for an update on that fic, I got my fingers crossed for Style endgame. Also CHECK OUT THEIR ART ON HERE they converted me to a short king Kyle truther and it’s a slay tbh.
Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating In Space by gremlinteeth. A classic. The first sp multi chapter I read. THE LORE BRO. CREEK. STYLE. STANS CHARACTERIZATION GOES SO HARD HES MY BOIIIII
Ok. That’s all my recs for now. Sry for being insane.
#fandom#south park#style#fanfiction#creek#au#stick of truth#ao3 fanfic#sp bunny#south park kenjorine#fic rec#i’m insane#sp fic#cryle#recommendations#south park k2
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Eddie/Hotdude Official Megathread!
(This is based on this post I made a while ago, shoutout to @bunk12bear for suggesting the format!)
(I know the formatting is a bit weird because of how tumblr is posting it, but it’s much clearer/cleaner over here on ao3! But generally I think it works better on desktop than mobile...)
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r/corrodedcoffincirclejerk
Eddie/Hotdude Official Megathread!
TheNumberOneBanished 8hr ago
Ok everyone, this is the official megathread to discuss this post from Eddie. Mods have decided it’s been too crazy in here and it needs to be compressed.
If you missed it, although I don’t see HOW at this point, Eddie and a man (who was named by fans in the 90s as Hotdude Inthebackground) have apparently been engaged since 1989 and were among the first same sex couples to get married in Indiana this morning. Hotdude has previously been assumed to be part of their security but *shrug* looks like we were wrong. We’ve been overwhelmed with posts on the subject so keep it in this ONE PLACE please from now on.
Bots and mods will be on patrol to mute/ban where necessary. Don’t be fucking rude.
r/CCCJ Bot 8hr ago
Beep Boop. Don’t downvote mean comments, but do upvote anything you agree with!
I’m a bot and my actions will be performed automatically. Contact the moderators if you think I’ve made a mistake!
EddiesGirl 8hr ago
Are we sure it’s not a joke?
---mrboombastic 8hr ago
Yes baby we’re sure
---EddiesGirl 8hr ago
How though?
---mrboombastic 7hr ago
They’ve never joked about anything like this, sex and sexuality
is probably the one thing they’ve always been super serious
about. Guess this is why.
---user37397564397569 8hr ago
U mad?
---EddiesGirl 7hr ago
Just not sure I believe it
throwawayfuckeddie 7hr ago
burning all my cc shit right now man. don’t need a fucking fag on my car stereo. fuck eddie.
---Mycoffinisfineactually 7hr ago
They still have your money, dude. But sure, go ahead and destroy
all your shit.
---throwawayfuckeddie 7hr ago
fuck you too.
(comment deleted)
---frogger75 8hr ago
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
---lokisbabe 8hr ago
What the fuck?
---allthegoodnamesweretaken 7hr ago
That’s…an interesting threat? I think?
---(comment deleted)
---freakmeup 6hr ago
Digging your own grave here. Just stop.
---(comment deleted)
---seven8nine 5hr ago
No way you could fit your entire truck up there
---(comment deleted)
---(comment deleted)
pussyfromaboywithcatears 7hr ago
Do we even know Hotdude’s real name? I mean I doubt Eddie’s going to be Mr. Inthebackground from now on?
---bornindenial 7hr ago
I don’t think so? Someone on twitter said Eddie used the name
‘Steve’ literally one time when they were at a signing and Hotdude was the
one who came to the table. No proof though.
---pussyfromaboywithcatears 7hr ago
Strange thing to wait until NOW to mention. Also, Steve?
Generic af. My money’s on that being a lie and ‘Steve’ was the first name
they thought of.
---babygotfront 7hr ago
Eddie’s got the name ‘Dustin’ tatted on his leg?
---pussyfromaboywithcatears 6hr ago
Along with about eight or nine others, so unless we’re also
thinking Hotdude’s name is also either Jane or Erica, I don’t think
that makes sense.
---lokisbabe 6hr ago
Twitter right now is saying Steve and this tracks for me. Eddie’s got
that big S tattoo on his ring finger.
---frogger75 6hr ago
Did he not saying that stood for ‘sucking dick’?
---EddiesGirl 6hr ago
When did he say that? Like is he even really gay?
---Mycoffinisfineactually 6hr ago
sweetie he’s been out a long time, its time to move on
---indianaguy 5hr ago
I knew eddie in highschool and that is absolutely something
he’d get a tattoo of.
---mrboombastic 5hr ago
My guy. Check your fucking yearbook rn to see if Hotdude in
there.
---sevendogsinatrenchcoat 5hr ago
No way to verify, Eddie never graduated, ergo no yearbook.
Got his GED in 98.
---mrboombastic 5hr ago
We get yearbooks every year but yeah you’re right, too
hard to verify
---freakmeup 5hr ago
Ignore this guy, he’s always on all the conspiracy boards
claiming wild shit about. Russian invasions and monsters.
Says the earthquake that gave Eddie that scar on his face was
an evil wizard. The band themselves have renounced him as a
fan.
---indianaguy 4hr ago
Fuck you you fucking sheep
---freakmeup 3hr ago
Baaaaaa
CallMeByYourMothersName 5hr ago
holy fuck HOLY FUCK everyone needs to watch this video right now. Eddie blowing a kiss to the side of the stage at MSG and if you turn up the brightness HOTDUDE IS THERE AND HE CATCHES IT
---ninebrassmonkeys 5hr ago
Oh shit that’s cute
---ninebrassmonkeys01 4hr ago
I have a bone to pick with you
---burningmanwasboring 5hr ago
Oh shit that’s cute, indeed
Chesticles03 5hr ago
Does this mean Lollipop is about Hotdude’s dick?
---pissbaby75 5hr ago
…yes I believe it does
---showmeyourfeet 5hr ago
lol you’re right it probably does
---drumbitch98 5hr ago
There’s a video of Hotdude wearing a Lollipop shirt at a meet and
greet! Eddie told the person recording that it was a merch sample
that never got made!
---pissbaby75 5hr ago
I’ve seen this video omg wait let me find it I’m sure it’s on
youtube
pissbaby75 4hr ago
HERE is the video of Hotdude in the scrapped Lollipop merch and I swear at 1:23 he SAYS HIS NAME. Headphones on full volume. This was from 2002. Whoa.
---CaptionBot
Here are the captions for this video!
“Hi guys thanks for coming”
“I’m so excited to meet you, your music saved my life”
“Awesome to hear that man, glad you’re still around. Is this the
shirt you brought to get signed?”
“Yes please. I think all the Lollipop merch get sold out already but
this one is awesome too”
“I’ll pass it on to Will our designer, thank you. There was only
samples made for
Lollipop stuff *laughing sounds* They said looked too much like a
dick to sell. (Steve?) back there has the only actual one. Here you
go, enjoy the show tonight!”
“Did you call me?”
“Oh my god Hotdude! Hi!”
“Uh, hey?”
---Chesticles03 4hr ago
STEVE!!!!!!!!!! He definitely does say Steve!
---interestingreaction 4hr ago
The tattoo of the S on his hand. It all makes sense now.
---jackskullboy 4hr ago
As much fun as the story he tells about it being about his love for
sucking dick is, I agree that this is a better fit
CorrodedCorpse 4hr ago
Hotdude has an E tattoo! Repeat! Hotdude has an E tattoo! This video of him in shorts lifting an amp into a van is grainy because hey, cellphones in the mid 00s, right? But the tat on his left leg has a very definite E shape. Props to tumblr for spotting this one.
---punchanazi 4hr ago
How is it that we’re literally only clocking this now?
---CorrodedCorpse 4hr ago
He’s also topless. We were not focusing on anything but
Hotdude without a shirt
on.
---punchanazi 3hr ago
Valid.
EddiesGirl 3hr ago
There’s been nothing posted online since. I still don’t think this is for real if he hasn’t posted a follow up.
---coffinfucker 3hr ago
How does that logic work?
---EddiesGirl 3hr ago
Well wouldn’t you be posting your wedding day for everyone to
see?
---coffinfucker 3hr ago
He kept it secret since the 80’s and you think now is when
that’ll change? We were lucky to even get this. There was more
info about Beyonce’s first trimester on Blue Ivy than there was about
this relationship until literally 10 hours ago.
---EddiesGirl 2hr ago
I just think he owes us more of an explanation. We’re the ones
paying his bills.
---Mycoffinisfineactually 3hr ago
I think you should log off
---EddiesGirl 3hr ago
Why? Because I want to know why he’s lied to us for so long
he’s not the person I thought he was if he’s been lying about
being in a relationship for so long.
---Mycoffinisfineactually 3hr ago
*facepalm*
---EddiesGirl 2hr ago
If you’re ok with supporting someone who has the capacity
for such a huge lie then fine. Some of us are on discord
writing an open letter about it.
---Mycoffinisfinactually 1hr ago
oh my god of course you are
allaboutthatbass 3hr ago
Is this Hotdude in this video? In the yellow? Is someone calling him Harry?
Edit: sorry, new to this. LINK
---showmeyourfeet 3hr ago
You forgot the link, champ
---allaboutthatbass 3hr ago
Sorry, fixed it.
---ozzyozzy 3hr ago
That’s Hotdude! It doesn’t sound like Harry though. More like ‘Here,
Tony’. Is his name Tony?
---CallMeByYourMothersName 3hr ago
No we’ve figured out it’s Steve, but you’re right that there’s two
parts to whatever he’s being called. Surname maybe?
---thedoctordonna 3hr ago
He looks great in yellow
---pissbaby75 3hr ago
He looks fuckin great in yellow
---milestellme 3hr ago
Definitely his colour
---daisiesonyournightstand 2hr ago
More Hotdude in yellow content please
---27 more replies
---CoffinUpMyHeart 2hr ago
If you slow the video down it sounds like they’re saying Harrington.
Could that be it?
---coochieluver 2hr ago
Steve Harrington is such a Midwest name jesus christ
---bodysnatcher 2hr ago
I hear it too. Sounds like Harrington for sure
EddiesGirl 2hr ago
If anyone wants to add their name to the letter of why we as fans feel betrayed by not hearing about this before now, I’ll leave the link here.
---mrboombastic 2hr ago
Are you still here?
---Mycoffinisfineactually 2hr ago
This is so funny
---showmeyourfeet 2hr ago
What the fuck is this?
---TheNumberOneBanished 2hr ago
There are easier ways to ask me to ban you
---pussyfromaboywithcatears 2hr ago
Careful throwing that ‘we’ word around
tusconarizona 1hr ago
It’s kind of hard to see for sure because it’s a screenshot of an old Top Of The Pops performance, but this looks like Eddie holding Hotdude’s hand when they leave the stage?
---BeamMeUpThotty 1hr ago
Hard to tell! Could be just Hotdude putting his hand out to help
him step down off the stage?
TimCurryingMyFavour 1hr ago
Was he ever just a security guard?
---ironmanCW 1hr ago
Now there’s a question.
---TimCurryingMyFavour 1 hr ago
Like how did they even meet?
mopthefloor 38 minutes ago
I wonder if Eddie knows how big a deal this is?
---callousedanus 35 minutes ago
That he’s married?
---mopthefloor 27 minutes ago
Well yeah but like, that he’s officially gay now too. NME has been
saying for years that he’s been joking about it. This is huge for their queer
fanbase
---throwawayfuckeddie 20 minutes ago
fuck their queer fanbase
---mopthefloor 17 minutes ago
Don’t threaten me with a good time
---callousedanus 25 minutes ago
They’ve been pretty clear about never joking about that kind of
thing (I think it was discussed further up the thread?) so NME
haven’t been paying close enough attention. I get what you
mean though, very validating, especially in this scene.
SpaceDogsInMyBrain 26 minutes ago
Hasn’t Eddie said that he lurks this subreddit? I wonder if he’ll see this?
---eddiem 20 minutes ago
Yep!
TheNumberOneBanished just now
Ok! So we’re locking this thread now because we’ve come very close to accidentally doxxing Hotdude! We’ve been given a super rare insight into Eddie’s personal life and we’re going to stay respectful of it.
Also, Eddie has posted another picture on Instagram, you can see it here.
tl;dr for anyone too lazy to click, it’s a picture of them holding hands backstage at a show, it’s pretty cute. Caption confirms that Hotdude’s name is in fact Steve, they met through friends in 1986, and that CC will be scheduling their long awaited farewell tour dates once they’re back from honeymoon.
It’s been a pretty wild day for us in the fanbase, but if it’s one thing we can all take away from this, it’s that Hotdude looks great in yellow.
Thread Locked By Moderators.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
People who said they might be interested:
(Also if anyone was planning on writing this for real then please do and please still tag me! I'd love to see it)
@shainsaw22 @duckyreads @maya-custodios-dionach @impeachy @daydreamerblues @0o-queendean-o0 @softgaygothboy @butterisgod @theoncelee @toasted-ghosty @genderisaliesowhyshouldihaveone @furbywithaknife420
#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve stranger things#steve and eddie#eddie x steve#eddie stranger things#eddie munson#corroded coffin#famous eddie munson#media fic#steve x eddie#steve harrington#stranger things#stranger things modern#modern au#modern fic#stranger things ficlet#seth writes
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edit: on AO3
tw: canon-typical homophobia, medical gore (near the end). pre-dethklok magnus and murderface, just dudes bein roommates
They pay the security deposit with the last of Magnus' college fund and put Murderface's grandfather's name on the lease instead of their own. It's garbage day, so they spend their morning cruising around a neighborhood on the nice end of town, occasionally stopping to throw furniture into the back of Magnus' truck. They bribe Nathan with a case of beer to help them 'move in', and by the afternoon, it almost looks like a real home: tatty sofa, cracked TV screen, stack of amps along the wall, their own mattresses on the floors of their rooms. It's a two-bedroom, but they deserve a two-bedroom, because they're going to make it big, after all. Nathan almost has a drummer lined up, a big name supposedly, and the gigs are already being penciled in, and they know by instinct that Dethklok is going to be big. Really big. They should be living like kings.
So, on their first day in their new apartment, Murderface and Magnus sit on opposite sides of their freshly-scavenged couch and watch their cracked TV. Magnus has done some 'creative' wiring so that they can 'borrow' cable from the neighbouring apartment, but right now they're only getting one channel and it's the one where people try to sell you things. Deluxe vacuums, currently. Nathan's gone off to have some meeting with their potential new drummer, so it's just the two of them, in their new apartment, that they're now renting together, on their own personal couch. Just the two of them. Roommates. Sitting on a couch…
"Is thisch gay?" Murderface asks aloud.
Magnus glances over a him. "Excuse me?"
"Thisch is kinda gay, right? Two guys living together?"
Magnus blinks at him. "Oh, yeah, totally, man," he replies apathetically, directing his attention back to the television.
"Wait, fuck, scheriously?"
"Seriously. Says on the lease we have to suck each other off every night."
"Fuck. Thatsch not good."
"Trust me, you get used to it."
"Aw, man, this schucks! I don't wanna suck a dude off! Can't I jusch jerk you off or somethin'?"
"If you jerk me off, we don't get the security deposit back."
"Fuck the shecurity deposit. That's your money anyway."
Magnus gives Murderface one of his famous cutting glances from the corner of his eyes. Then he settles back into the couch, propping an ankle over his knee, jiggling his foot a little.
Murderface tries to mimic him, likewise sinking into the sofa, likewise crossing his legs. Super relaxed, super cool.
"I'm not suckin' nobody's pee-pee," Murderface grumbles. "My name's not even on the schtupid lease."
Magnus has already lost interest in the joke. "Oh. Sure. I guess legally, your grand-dad has to suck it."
"Dude, grossch--"
"Shut up," Magnus sits up, gestures to the TV. "Look at that."
The vacuum infomercial has ended. A man dressed as a cowboy now stands before a fake desert backdrop, delivering an inaudible monologue (the speakers on their TV are broken).
"Aw schit," says Murderface, "Now that jusch makes me homeschick."
"Keep watching, idiot," says Magnus.
Murderface keeps watching. He watches as the cowboy reaches into his hip-holster and draws a long, shiny samurai sword.
"Schit!" Murderface sits up. "That's fuckin' aweschome!"
"Right?"
"I want a fuckin' sword-holster! You know what? I'll suck you off if it means we get your money back and use it to buy a fuckin' cowboy ninja sword!"
Magnus looks thoughtful. "You know," he begins slowly, "I have some money left in my college fund."
They lock eyes. No further words need pass between them. They stand and go for the door.
~
Magnus and Murderface are standing before a kiosk in a shopping mall, admiring a dazzling array of knives.
They have big knives; knives with bad-ass triangular holes in them (aerodynamic!); knives with iridescent blades; knives with that fancy stripy folded-steel blades; They have hunting knives with camo-print handles, little pocket knives, Swiss army knives, pocket knives with bullets for handles, pocket knives with lighters for handles, pocket knives hidden in lipstick (for the ladies). They have knives with spikes on them and knives shaped like axes and knives with jagged serrated edges that look like shark's teeth. And, of course, they have swords.
"Schit," Murderface says, pointing, "I want that one."
"Bad quality steel," Magnus says, without looking.
"Fuck that schit, the blade is black. That means high carbon. Extra scharp."
"This is what you want," says Magnus, pointing to a plain steel hunting knife. "Utilitarian. Functional."
"Boooo-ring."
"Classy. That's a knife you can bring to a fancy dinner."
"Check out that knife," Murderface interrupts him. The knife he points to has a blade the length of his forearm, with spikes all around the base near where it connects to the handle, and several triangular holes in the centre.
"Shit," Magnus breathes. "That's a cool knife."
"So fucking cool."
"You want that one?"
"Well, yeah, but…"
"But?"
"I've been thinking, we schould get a lot of knives. An aschortment of knives."
"Oh, yeah, absolutely."
"We need the right knives for the right occasions. Every knife scherves its own purposch."
"And a sword, of course."
"Two schwords! One for you, one for me."
"Three swords. We'll have to keep one by the door, in case of intruders."
"Yeah! It's a bad neighborhood, who knows what could happen."
They lock eyes. They nod. Magnus signals for the clerk.
~
They've just pulled onto the highway and an awful staticky death metal band is blasting over the radio when Magnus turns the volume down and says, "We should have a special dinner. To celebrate the move."
"Dude, grosch," Murderface, whose lap is currently full of knives, replies. "That's gay."
"I'm gay? You're holding a rainbow knife."
"Uh, it'sch called an oil-spill butterfly knife? It'sch limited edition?"
"Whatever, man. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. We can get steak or something. Champagne."
"Gaaaay."
"The champagne makes the lease-required dick-sucking easier, William. You'll thank me later."
Viscerally disgusted, Murderface stabs Magnus' dashboard with his newly-acquired limited-edition oil-spill butterfly knife. "Eugh, just don't call me that while you're talking about dick-sucking! You're really grosching me out."
"Whatever you say, honey."
"Hammersmith--"
Magnus turns up the radio, rolls down the window to let the wind blow in. Murderface watches him tuck his long hair behind his ear, then stabs his dashboard once more, for good measure.
~
They are standing in a grocery store looking at the meat cabinet. It's all very red, and fleshy, and if you think about it, it should be brutal-- a cabinet of dismembered body parts, ruthlessly torn apart, laid out like inanimate objects to be purchased for money and consumed by strangers. Brutal. And yet…
"I don't like it," Murderface declares.
Magnus is frowning at an array of whole fish. "Hm."
"It's jusch lame or something." Murderface rams his fist against the glass. "Whatsch the point of eating meat if you don't even get to kill the animal first? It's fucking bullschit!"
"Hm," Magnus repeats himself. "What about that?"
He points towards a door leading to the back room. Through it they can see a large, steel table, and on top of it is a full half of a pig, skinned and ready for butchering.
"Yeah…" Murderface says slowly, "That's pretty schick."
"You," Magnus snaps at the clerk behind the counter, "We'll take that one. Yes, that one, in the room back there…"
… Ten minutes and a great deal of haggling later, they're pushing half a pig in a cart down the cheese aisle.
"My roommate in college was a law guy," Magnus is explaining. "He went to a lot of fancy events. Showed me the ropes."
"Did you suck his hog?"
"The secret is in the cheese. You have to get the right cheese, and… olives."
Murderface leers at the cheeses before them. "This one looksch fancy," he says, grabbing a package at random.
"Good, get a hard one as well."
"We're in a groschery store, Hammerschmith, that's not appropriate."
"You know," Magnus says quite calmly, "One of these days, I am going to stab you."
Murderface grabs another package at random and throws it on top of the pig carcass. "Oh I bet you'd like that. Schtickin' things in guys."
"William," Magnus lays a hand on Murderface's shoulder. "You're fixated on my sexuality because you're insecure about yours. I get that, and I just want you to know, as a friend, that I don't mind if you're gay."
Murderface smacks his hand away. "Ughh! Don't try your shrink-school bullschit on me!"
"I fully support you and your rainbow knives."
"Shut up! What elsch do we need, olives?"
~
They're stopped at a gas station while Magnus fills up his truck. Murderface is standing in the wine section selecting only the finest gas station champagnes for their housewarming dinner. Which is some bullshit, now that he thinks about it. What the fuck even is champagne? Bubbly wine, right? Maybe they can just drop an alka-seltzer into a carton of Franzia. That's probably easier than trying to read the French gibberish on the labels of all these bottles.
Murderface has a carton of Franzia on his shoulder and is heading for the medicinals section when he catches sight of something truly marvelous.
There, by the door, stands a glass display cabinet. And contained within that cabinet…
"What is that?" Magnus asks, when Murderface returns to the truck.
"Behold," says Murderface, with eminent pride, "A gnife!"
Like a modern bayonet, the 'knife' is, in fact, a very small pistol, with a knife's blade inexpertly welded to the barrel. He waves it in the air so that Magnus can get a proper look.
"Damn," Magnus breathes. "That's pretty cool."
"Right?"
"I don't care for guns myself, but even I can admit-- cool."
"It's scho fucking cool."
"Where's the champagne?"
"I figured we'll just throw a little alka-seltzer in thisch boxed wine. Trailer park champagne."
"Fine, fine. Get in, let's go."
"Hold on. I didn't pay for your gasch--"
"Get in the fucking truck, William!" Magnus yells.
William hurls himself into the passenger seat, landing uncomfortably atop their pile of newly-acquired knives, and Magnus peels out of the parking lot before the cops can show.
~
They're back in their apartment. They've laid the pig carcass out on the card table Nathan's parents have loaned them, and Magnus is holding a samurai sword.
"Come on!" Murderface urges, hitting his fists on the edge of the table. "Cut it already!"
"Give me time," Magnus growls. He's fixated on the carcass, his eyes are wide, pupils blown with excitement. "An artist's cuts must be… precise."
"Well, be preciser faster!" Murderface complains. "I wanna see a pig get fucked up!"
"Silence, grasshopper. Watch and learn… the way of the warrior!"
With one rapid stroke, Magnus brings the sword down, fast and hard, across the pig's torso. There's a loud meaty thwack. The sword is embedded a couple of inches into jiggly pig flesh.
"Shit!" Magnus yells. "The fucking sword isn't sharp!"
"Magnus, Magnus," Murderface says soothingly, sidling over to Magnus, gently nudging him aside. "Go get yourself some wine, let the blade-maschter handle this one." He eases Magnus' hands off of the sword's handle, takes it in his own firm grasp.
Grumbling, Magnus lets himself be pushed aside. "It's a problem with the blade," he complains. "My technique was perfect. Perfect!"
"It's not a problem with your technique, it's brute schtrength that matters the most." Murderface wrenches the sword out of the pig and raises it high above his head. "Watch and learn, Hammersmith!"
He rams the sword as hard as he possibly can into the pig carcass' neck.
The entire card table buckles and collapses.
"Brute strength," Magnus echoes, observing the pile of plastic and pig meat before them. He's already poured himself another solo-cup of shitty white wine.
Murderface stares at the wreckage for a few seconds. "Schwords not sharp!" he yells. "The fucking schword's not sharp!"
"Want some cheese?"
"Fuck yes, fuck this schtupid pig! Where's my butterfly knife? I'm cuttin' some bacon…"
~
Magnus and Murderface sit on opposite sides of their freshly-scavenged sofa in their brand new apartment and watch infomercials on their cracked TV. There is a pile of knives and swords in-between them.
"Pasch me some cheese," Murderface says.
Magnus drives the point of the knife in his hand through a block of cheese and holds it out to Murderface. Murderface skewers it on his own knife.
A man on the TV is talking about the virtues of humidifiers. Magnus has used his technical wizardry to plug one of their amps into the TV, so they have sound now.
"This guysch a fuckin' idiot," Murderface announces through a mouthful of cheese. "Who needs a humidifier in fuckin' Florida?"
"As if my hair isn't ruined enough," Magnus agrees, idly stabbing the arm of the sofa.
"I thought gay guys liked big hair."
"You're thinking of glam rockers. Also, William, I'm getting pretty tired of the gay jokes."
"Hittin' a nerve, am I?"
"If you have feelings for me, sort that shit out yourself. Or at least get a new joke. You're boring the hell out of me."
Murderface bites the tip of his cheese-knife and watches Magnus through narrowed eyes.
Magnus is staring boredly at the infomercial, ramming his knife into the sofa's arm with precise rhythm. When he's not having his notorious violent outbursts, he's actually quite cool and aloof, taking every affront with casual nonchalance. It's only those who have known him for a long time, such as Murderface, who know that below the artificial calmness lies a simmering rage liable to explode at any moment. Murderface has depended on Magnus since he left his grandparents' home; Murderface has seen Magnus flip out at waitresses without warning and throw chairs through diner windows. He is Murderface's idol. He's a ticking time-bomb.
And now they've moved to Florida together, and they're renting an apartment together, and no matter what Magnus says, it really does feel kind of gay.
Murderface picks up a random knife from their pile and starts ramming it into the sofa's arm, matching the timing of it with Magnus' stabbing.
They sit there for a while, each stabbing their respective sofa arms in peaceful synchronicity.
Murderface feels Magnus glance over at him. He stabs the sofa with a little more force.
"Hey," Magnus says in a low voice. Suddenly a piece of paper lands on his lap, with 'LEASE' written at the top. No instruction needed, Murderface stabs it.
A few minutes later, Murderface pulls off his vest and throws it to Magnus' side of the couch. Magnus balls it up and stabs it.
On Magnus' turn, he throws a whole block of cheese onto Murderface's lap. Murderface puts it on the sofa's arm and proceeds to stab the absolute shit out of it. By the time he's done he's practically reduced it to paste.
Magnus has been watching him all the while, ramming his hunting knife idly again and again into the sofa cushion beside his leg. Murderface can't think of anything else to throw at him, so--
"Schtab me," Murderface says.
Magnus looks mildly surprised. And he waits only a moment before leaning over and stabbing Murderface firmly in the top of the thigh.
"Holy schit!" Murderface shouts. "Fuck! Shit! Goddammit!" He clamps his hands over the wound-- blood wells out from them immediately-- he presses down hard, hissing with pain. "Fuckin' schit, Magnus!"
"Oh, grow up," says Magnus dismissively.
"You fuckin' schtabbed me!"
"There's a first aid kit in the truck. Here are my keys."
"Fuck. You aschole."
~
The sofa is covered in knives and blood. Murderface is drunk off of his ass on cheap wine and alka-seltzer, pantsless, sitting on a camp chair in the kitchen of his brand new apartment. Magnus is on the ground between Murderface's knees, holding a lighter in one hand and a sewing needle in the other.
"You schure you know how to do this?" Murderface slurs.
"Of course I do," Magnus says. His elbow is resting on Murderface's un-stabbed thigh, his gaze is focused on the needle he's currently heating with the lighter.
"Yeah? Schince when?"
"I dated an EMT for three months."
"What was his name?"
Magnus puts down the lighter and picks up a packet of dental floss from the floor. Brow wrinkled with concentration, he bites off a long length of it, then threads it through the eye of the needle. Then he drops the dental floss and picks up a handle of vodka. "William?"
"What."
"Don't be a little bitch."
The pain is excruciating. It's like his entire thigh has been set on fire and is being ripped apart from the inside by a thousand hell rats from hell (fuck, good song idea.) Murderface bites down on one of his own wrists, and then buries his other hand in Magnus' hair, clutching a handful of thick curly locks. His eyes water and the tears shatter the world into kaleidoscope-colours until he squeezes them shut; when he opens them again he sees the top of Magnus' head between his own bare and bloody thighs and he's wracked with pain and the sight is delusionally sublime.
Fuck.
Maybe there is something to that shrink-school bullcrap. Murderface just let a man stab him. Is that gay? Is he gay for letting his roommate stab him and then stitch him back up? When this is done he's going to have to do some real self-inspection, or whatever it's called.
Whatever, he's getting stitched back together in his own brand new apartment. Way more metal than having some doctor do it, and Murderface is no stranger to stabbings or their aftermath. He lets himself moan in pain, leaning back in the chair. He tilts his head back, whimpers, readjusts his grip on Magnus' hair. Fucking brutal. It's like a war movie. Like one of those civil war soldiers before they invented medicine. Every stroke of the needle vibrates through his core like heavy bass.
And suddenly-- it's over, too soon it's over. Did he black out? Magnus is standing in front of him, his bare chest covered in blood, wiping his hands on his trousers. Murderface glances down and sees his bare, pudgy thigh, likewise blood-stained, with a small stab-wound in one criss-crossed by uneven stitches.
"You're alright," Magnus says reassuringly.
Murderface struggles to sit upright. "Yeah…" he chokes out. "… Schit, that's a good knife. That's fucking scharp."
"I told you. Classic hunting knife. Can't go wrong." Magnus takes a swig of the vodka, then thoughtlessly wipes his mouth. A diluted streak of pinkish blood is left across his cheek. "Can you stand?"
"Uh, give me a schecond." Murderface feels woozy. He feels very warm. He wants Magnus to stab him again. He needs another cup of wine.
"Just hurry up," says Magnus, turning away. "That samurai cowboy guy is on and I need to write down the number."
"Yeah…" Murderface sighs, slumping back in his chair. "Yeah, sure, write it down for me, too…"
It is their first night in their new apartment. Everything is covered and blood, there is a pig carcass in the centre of their kitchen, and they just know they're going to make it big.
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I just saw Barbie and that's your problem now (spoilers)
Dude. I. What the fuck (positive)
I just saw Barbie and bloody hell how did this movie ever get approved by Mattel (positive)
SPOILERS. LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. KEEP SCROLLING IF YOU WISH FOR THIS MOVIE TO REMAIN UNSPOILED.
For contex, "Barbie" singular refers to margot robbie, the main character. "barbies" plural refers to background/side characters. I understand why this movie broke ryan gosling.
Ok play by play:
I walk into the theatre, popcorn in hand. The isles are filled with pink. I am wearing pink. the lights dim. Its showtime
Primitive children play with primitive dolls. barbie appears. i wonder if David Attenborough directed this part of the movie
Present day barbie. Stuff from the trailers. hi barbie hi barbie hi barbie. Oh wait the song is the narrator that kinda cool
5 minutes in and its Trailers trailers trailers. I've seen maybe 5 lines of non-trailer dialogue
The "beach you off" joke goes right over my head. I still don't know if there was a joke there
dance time. holy shit the mood of summer (do you ever think about dying) happend real fast. Nice save Barbie
sour milk and flat feet
jesus christ we're at weird barbie's already. this is the plot I know from the trailers but we still have like an hour and 20 minutes left
Weird barbie made a dick joke. The theater erupts. they were not expecting that.
don't laugh at the sex joke don't laugh at the sex joke you are with your parents don't laugh at the sex joke.
Mmmmmk barbie in the real world. The undertone of violence during catcalling is addressed. yay!
Barbie loudly and bluntly announces that she does not have a vagina and that ken does not have a penis. They do not have genitals. The crowd goes wild. They expected that less.
In the spen of 2 minutes Barbie gets arrested. barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets the cowgirl suit. barbie gets arrested. Barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets released by police officers
barbie has meditation time and discovers the girl
ken takes a walk and discovers that the world is run by men
barbie and ken go to school. Barbie gets burned roasted eviscerated by sara (the girl whos been playing with her) and runs away crying. Ken discovers the patriarchy
Barbie gets discovered by mattel. Barbie gets chased through mattel HQ
The girl and her mom save barbie and go back to barbie land. it was actually the mom who played with barbie and made her because she was sad about her daughter being a dicky teenager.
ken has taken over barbie land
ken has instated the patriarchy into barbie land. the barbies are brainwashed into being mindless servants. the dreamhouses are now for the kens.
Barbie has a breakdown. Mom daughter go to leave barbie land
Barbie is rescued by weird barbie and taken to her house, the base of a resistance??? other brainwashed barbies are there. Weird barbie now wears grenades. Discontinued barbies and weird barbies are trying to unbrainwash brainwashed barbies. It is not working. Barbie is still having a breakdown.
Gay as hell ken exists
Mom and daughter are back. Barbie cries about how she isnt pretty and "stereotypical barbie" anymore. The air is thick and uncomfortable. The narrator announces that margot robbie was not the right person to deliver that line. tension dissolved (for now)
Mom goes into long and heartfelt rant about the patriarchy and expectations of women and jesus christ is rocked me to my core it was like every feminist tumblr post compiled into the perfect monologue about the struggles of being a woman in the best way possible. I can feel the uncomfortable men in the room. I can also feel the men in the room who are sad for women. you could hear a pin drop. The barbies become unbrainwashed as they realize the patriarchy sucks. Barbie is back.
Barbie and friends have mom give more (unheard ;-;) speeches and unbrainwash the other barbies in a way that calls out how men view women and sexist media tropes.
Holly shit is ken the villain of this movie
Barbies turn kens against each other so they forget about voting to change the constitution. Yes.
Kens have a war over barbies. They do not have weapons. Ryan gosling sings a power ballad. The kens unite.
The kens confront the barbies. President barbie drops a motherfucker bomb censored with a mattel logo. The crowd once again goes wild. Some of us go feral. I went feral.
Lost of deep conversations about the patchirarchy and sexisim and beuty standards and holly shit I though this was going to be a kids film but its almost unhinged kiss me greta gerwig
A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for barbie or ken. Ken cannot compute this. A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for Barbie or ken. Ken slightly computes this.
Barbie tells ken that he's his own person and he is not defined by his girlfriend or the patriarchy or beach (his job. no there is not context). cough cough this is the movie addressing toxic masculinity and how the patriarchy harms men
Barbie does not know her ending. Barbie meets Ruth Mattel. Ruth mattel is in trouble with the IRS for committing tax evasion. deep emotional scene. barbie learns sees what it means to be human. that billie eyelash song plays. Humans only have one ending, ideas live forever. Barbie "wants to be part of the people who make ideas, not the idea"
Barbie is in a car. Beige suit. Pink Birkenstocks. The mom and the girl wish her good luck. They will be here when she's done. Barbie walks into an office building.
"name"
"handler comma Barbra" (context required but its meaningful and basically barbies human name)
"why are you here"
"I'm here to see my gynecologist"
The end. The crowd goes feral. nobody moves as we wonder what the fuck just happened. We cheer.
Being the true Margot Robbie Stan that I am, I rise from my seat and think "what a ride"
I exit the theatre, grinning ear to ear. Perplexed. But grinning ear to ear. I do not stop grinning for a long time.
As I exit the theatre, me and my fellow movie-goers look at each other with a sense of fear, happiness, and that feeling when you wake up from a fever dream. I doubt I will sleep tonight as my brain processes this movie. I still don't really know what happened to Barbie. I'm perfectly ok with that.
Overall the trailers greatly mislead people and this movie was a wild feminist, feminist, feminist ride in the most fantabulous way possible. It touches on most social issues, makes fucking hilarious jokes, Barbie has several breakdowns and it truly feels like a giant "fuck you" to the patriarchy with Mattel's branding. Written by women, directed by women, produced by women. its perfect. It's not the most sophisticated piece of feminist media but its pretty fucking close and definitely the best mainstream one.
Hating the Barbie movie should replace hating cats as a red flag.
I loved it and I'm still processing it but it was great. Also how was something like this allowed to happen in hollywood. I don't care. it happened and It was perfect. I loved it and I'm making plans to see it again.
#barbie#the barbie movie#margot robbie#greta gerwig#feminism#spoilers#barbie 2023#barbie 2023 spoilers#barbie movie spoilers#what the fuck#I'm shooketh#ryan gosling#ken#barbie doll#mattel#movie summary#movie suggestions#movies#in theatres#film#cinema#warner bros#feminist news#feminist media#barbenheimer#oppenbarbie#happy barbie day#barbie spoilers#barbie movie
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"I'm fucking gay" I said to myself sometimes louder, sometimes quietly, unfortunately I think several people heard the loud part because they were looking at me, especially Danny was running after me. "Lando, are you grumpy for saying that? Because everyone hears it.” "I am, and when we broke up I was even grumpier, leave me alone, if you want me to, I'm still pregnant with twins from Ollie." Ollie Bearman? What the hell have you been doing?” Danny stopped me from speaking, then tears appeared on my face and I ran away crying. ,,Lokiii where are you????? I want to go back to the fucking fucking hotel!!!!! I can not stand!!!!" I started hitting his chest shaking and throwing up again. "Relax Lando, there are only free training sessions with a break between them." ,, BELIEVE I'M NOT EXCITED I WANT TO GO BACK THERE I HATE IT HERE FUCK ME!!!!" "Deep air says I can do it in myself." "I can do it, I believe in myself, even if I carry two beans Jankó." "MR Norris, we need to talk about beans after training." "No, and I will not have an abortion, this is the final decision, sir." "If he plays for the suspension, then the game has begun." "I'm afraid, Loki, they're not only idiots, they're also strict and they give diets that are impossible or borderline impossible to follow, on top of that they constantly measure our weight and check how much we exercise every day, it's no longer sick, it's fucking pathological."
I leaned against the wall with tears in my eyes and could only scream at the top of my lungs. Leave it!!!! I won't get into that fucking car if they force me to do so at gunpoint." "Well, come in." "Will, Jon, no, these fuckers up there don't even know what I want or what I feel, so no, I'm going to have someone else take my place today and this year." "Leave him for real." "Dude, what will happen to me? We had such a good time together, but what about the photography?" "I'll take photos of the little ones or I don't know if we move to the new place, but the fact that I won't stay in Monaco is fixed." "Do you want to move?" "Yes, everyone has been obsessed with me for a long time, when they see a girl next to me, the tabloids say she's my new girl, when I fuck the boys I loved it, I hate being there." "We understand. Where?" Burying my face in my hands, I started to cry even more and shook my head. "I don't have the faintest idea where America might come into question, I don't know, New York especially Upper, Miami, Los Angeles, but back to England and Bristol and its surroundings or London, I don't have an idea yet, but it's far from there and from the people there."
The news made my fucking blood run cold, I went to see Lando through the journalists because he just said all this in public. ,,A thousand apologies... Fuck you Lando, you said everything openly, even what you shouldn't have!!!! Now you're going to be all over the headlines because of your breakout!!!! "Osc, who excites the bitch, fuck them, they need to know what a fucking little world Formula 1 is and what a fucking little puppet we are for them that they can play with as they please and like, they can suck my dick." We didn't even pay attention, but all the cameras took us and everyone took pictures of us, and even Lando gave them the fucking horse. ,,This is serious? You know you can't say." "Yes, fuck me, just like I'm tired of shit, I'm not acting anymore here, if that's what I want, I'll go to a fucking casting and I don't care how many weeks I am, I'll do it if I get in, okay, but no, as a child, if you didn't know, I was a child actor . Stupid child and I would choose this place over the shitty place right now. Get it.” I ran after him and slapped him. "You know, I was also a child actor, but now it's not about that, it's about what you said shouldn't have happened."
"Child actor, Child actor" I muttered to myself and looked for a cigarette in my back pocket, and for my lip ink, "mhhh Benefit is expensive but... How seriously did you take Oscar from me and throw it away?" Your good fucking mother!!!!!!” I took it out and imitated a fake kick in the ass, and he showed me how the hell you put on makeup if you can't see it. "Because if only you knew that I've been doing this since I was fourteen." ,,Landooooo fuck fourteen???? Are you screwed???? Good tests, huh?” I showed him it was full of liquid flavoring, it was undrinkable and the color was strange, it didn't smell like anything, but it did have a sparkle. "Liquid highliter and put it down, it flows very well." ,,This? It has bristles, but it's also cool." ,,That mascara and eyebrow gel, put my fucking make-up stuff down Osc this is fucking not funny!!!!! That's my contour stick, my foundation, concealer, bronzer, that's my fucking blush, that's my eyeshadow palette, and put it all down. Damn" "Good, okay..." I left Lando, who was just putting some cream on himself. "MR Piastri, where is his teammate?" "I don't know, I think he's already gone with him boyfriend, he has a date today, he said he went there, sir, I can't give him an interview, I'm sorry." I ran back panting with messy hair. ,,What's wrong?" "Fuck the fucking gossip press and they're asking about you." We looked outside and a good number of people gathered, none of us dared to go outside when ten minutes later we heard a knock. "I'm Loki, may I come in?" ,.Of course it is." "This is a fucking crowd, what the hell happened?" "I don't know either, except that some asshole asked me where Lando was, and I lied and saved the best and said that he was on a date with his friend, so I thought he wasn't here anymore." "Oscar, you bastard, we're going down because of you, everyone will know that me and Lando are a couple!!!" "Good, but I didn't tell you he was pregnant." "You wordy bastard Australian, can't you be like that?" "Get me, I'm confessing to them, you scumbags" I ran out angrily, slammed the door behind me and instead did everything against myself, kept my mouth shut, "I'm telling you he's on a date with his partner, leave him alone and on top of that, Lando Norris is gay, so he's not with a girl if they ask you idiots !!!!!” I looked in my phone and all the gossip sites were full of me, "Formula 1 driver Lando Norris is gay." I ran after Oscar, but I didn't really see spit anywhere, "Kill Oscar Piastri, you're bisexual or stupid!!!!" I felt Loki's palm on my back, bit my lip and killed him, "Fucking big scandal and it started as I predicted." "Yes, but I think we should go because I have a reservation at the restaurant at nine in the evening."
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remember to do the biphobia/queer hangout post!!
i rlly wanna read it!!<3
Assumption Make an Ass Out of You
Prompt by @whomst-the-hell: steve always knew he was queer fic where steve keeps trying to invite himself to Queer Hangouts w eddie and robin and they keep being like “uhhhh this isnt really your scene…” until steve is finally like “listen i get it ok theres all this fucking stigma but you two are the last people i expected this from!” and eddie and robin are like “youre a very good ally and we appreciate it but the truth is you just cannot relate to some of our experiences and you need to accept that!” and then steve is like “woooaaaahhh hold on i think we’re having two different conversations. i thought you were doing that thing gay ppl do sometimes where they treat bi people like we arent really queer or whatever. did you guys genuinely think i was heterosexual? lol that’s embarrassing”
Gave it a spelling and grammar check before putting it on A03: Assumption Make an Ass Out of You - technically-a-writer-technically (RegularRainbow) - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]
Eddie calls Robin: Birdie
Tags: Angsty, probably a bit ooc, they mean well, their tough love is tough though. Original Male Character/Steve Harrington. I tried learning 80s Slang for this, it lasted several hours and then I wrote this all-in-one sitting, so probably not 80s accurate, especially towards the end. Not beta read, we die like men.
1. Never met an Ally so Good
Tall, Olive Skin, Green Eyes, passed Steve a drink, something pink and yellow, blended ice, with a tiny umbrella and a cherry.
“I didn’t know what you were drinking, but I took my best guess” He said, smile bright as fluorescent lights. The guy was cute in a clinical type of way, clean cut, clean-shaven.
Steve smiled, took the straw from his melting ice in a cup, and gave it a taste, twisting the straw around his tounge. “Ah. Tastes Perfect,”
“Oh, you’re a real maneater aren’t you,” He slipped between Steve’s legs, resting his hands on either side of Steve, boxing him in, “Come on Pretty Boy let me take you for a spin.”
Steve smiled, red decorating the tips of his ears and nose. “Sorry, can’t stay that long gotta drive back to nowhere-ville”
“Alright, Just one dance then, and maybe your number?”
Steve bit the corner of his lip, and smiled “Maybe …” All doe eyes, looking up from under his lashes,“ … maybe you could kiss me?”
“Hey, why don’t you back off” said Eddie, stepping between the two, pushing the guy back with an extended hand.
“Really! I don’t see your name on him” The guy squawked, Steve hadn’t even gotten his name.
“That’s not,” was Eddie’s reply, he sighed “look I’m helping you, trust me, he’s just being nice.”
“Looks like a fucking Belle to me,”
Eddie tilted his head and fixed him with a look, throwing his hand up as if to shrug, and said, “He’s just too nice to tell you to go away.”
“Look there are better ways to get dudes off your guy, you don’t gotta lie,” Then he peeked behind Eddie to get a good look at Steve one more time, and with a wink, he said, “If you ever find yourself in need of French lessons you know where to find me.”
Steve giggled, twirling his straw. (Fucking Flirting.)
Then, Steve said, “You really didn’t need to do that Eddie, I was fine, he was fine.”
“No, he was not fine. He was hitting on you, Steve” Robin chimed in.
“Isn’t that, like, the point of all this. Aren’t we here to get hit on? Flirt a little,” Steve leaned in and whispered, “Wave the white flags, you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, but it’s not cool to lead people on Steve, especially not here.” Eddie said.
Steve winced a little, his smile falling slightly, before he picked it back up, “I mean, there’s no harm in flirting, I didn’t know you guys were gonna get all riled up because I didn’t want to take him home.”
“Look it’s not all about sex, this is about community.” Robin said.
Steve sucked his teeth, and took a swig of his beer, “Okay, uh, whatever, I’m gonna pay for my drinks, and uh, sit in a fucking corner I guess.”
“Grow up, King Steve” Eddie said.
“Fuck you, Eddie, King Steve thinks you should find your own ride home.”
“I mean, we should probably leave.” Robin said.
“No, Rob, if it’s gonna be like that, I’ll just wait in the car.” Steve said. He gathered his things, throwing his coat on, fluffing his hair up and out from under the collar of his a letterman style jacket.
Steve stepped out into the cool night air, face hot with fury. He sighed, trying to release the tension that had begun to build.
“Hey, Pretty Boy, I didn’t get your name before your guard dog cock-blocked.”
“It’s — He’s just a friend. And, Uh, It’s Steve, Yours?”
“My friends call me Ian,”
“Well, Ian, thanks for the drink”
“Really,” Ian said, and it was almost a laugh, “I just had the bartender throw something together, I don’t like that fruity shit, I mean not like that, I just don’t like fruit juice, from fruit,” His talking tapered out. “You’re super cute, and it kind of fries my brain. I mean those pants are too tight.” (Ian say too tight, like he doesn’t mean it, like those pants make him think of something else.)
Steve laughed and looked down at himself, before smiling back at Ian. “Still want my number?”
2. Lavender Menace
Steve dyed the bottom layer of his hair purple. The faintest shade of lavender, barely it, In fact, it was practically silver. But, still, he was sure that everyone who needed to know that it wasn’t silver, would notice. They would notice.
“Did you dye your hair, Steve?” Robin asked, leaning across the Book Store counter to get a good look at his peek-a-boo dye job.
Steve resisted the urge to shake his head and show off. It took a long time to get his hair all nice, he wasn’t gonna mess it up for five seconds of Rob’s appreciation, not after the stunt she and Eddie pulled with Ian.
“Joyce helped,” Steve said, and brushed his fingers through the thick of his hair to show off the dye, just a little bit.
“Don’t you think you should have gone with another color,” Rob said, “You don’t want people to get the wrong idea about you.”
“I —“
“The hoard has arrived,” Eddie declared, as Mike, Will, and Dustin ran in straight for the new comic book section. “Whoa, your hair.” he said.
“Yeah, my hair.” Steve felt the weight of a frown pull at the corners of his mouth.
“You sure that’s the right color?” Eddie grabbed a lock of Steve’s dyed hair, and twirled it between his fingers, “You let the toner sit too long, it’s all purple-y now.”
With a huff, Steve said, “I was going for purple-y”
“Yeah?” Robin said.
“Why?” Eddie said.
“Because I want people to know I’m down with Dorthy” Steve said.
“You shouldn’t have dyed your hair purple, though” Eddie replied.
“Yeah, I agree, I think it’s a bit much … you’ve gone a bit too far this time, and after the bar” Robin said
“W-What do you mean after the bar that was all you guys, I was just having a good time.”
Eddie sighed and looked away, throwing his head back, and disappearing down an isle. “You explain it to your pet jock, Birdie, my head hurts.”
“Look Steve, people don’t need to know you’re ‘down with Dorothy’ it’s better if your not loud about it actually, keeps everyone safer anyway.”
Steve gets hot in the face, bright white-hot red in the cheeks, breaks into a sweat, he’s so mad. Then he’s close to crying, clearing his throat some, but it’s closing in on him. He’s so furious, he’s near tears about it. Dancing around breaking into tears.
If they didn’t like his hair, they could have just said that.
“Whatever you say, Robin” he said, wetly.
“Steve come on, it’s not your life, it’s ours” was Robin’s reply.
He doesn’t speak to her for the rest of their shift.
When Steve got home, he dialed Ian’s house. Ian was there in five minutes flat (He lived 15 minutes away).
“Wow,” Ian said, “Your hair”
“Yeah, I know it’s awful” Steve said, the memory of his earlier conversations brought up sour thoughts.
“No, no, you look pretty, a real bodacious babe.”
Steve smiled, for the first time since he got of shift. “Shut up,”
“Kiss me about it,” was Ian’s reply.
3. Steve’s House Doesn’t have a Purple Door.
“You could have your party at my place?” Steve said, “My parents aren’t gonna be home for another like month anyway”
Eddie smiled at Robin,
“Plus, I’m great at throwing parties, you remember my parties.”
“I don’t think we,” Eddie gestured between himself and Robin, “Were ever invited to King Steve’s famous parties.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Steve said, “But they were famous for a reason. Have it at my place, it makes sense. The venue is like 50% of a party.”
“I was thinking, no allies though” Eddie said, “Just queer deviancy,” Eddie brought the devil hands up to his head like ears and smiled at Robin. They fist bumped.
What they meant was no Steve it seemed.
“Hey, can you pick us up? Robin voice came through the phone loud, like she was shouting on her end of the line.
“From where?” Steve asked.
“A party,” Robin said, Steve felt her wiggle her eyebrows, and she giggled softly.
“I need the location?” Steve said.
“Oh, um, were near Byrock Ct,”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”
Steve got in his car and drove to the Byrock Bar, with its purple backdoor. Ian took him there once, and they danced. Steve loved dancing, it was nice letting go.
This didn’t feel nice.
Robin and Eddie crammed into the backseat of his car, laughing, tipsy, and maybe a little high. Covered in glitter. Eddie had red lipstick on and smeared down his chin. Robin was wearing, glitter gloss and a silvery highlighter.
“You guys look like you had fun,” Steve finally said, before he pulled off.
“I thought you guys were gonna stay in tonight,”
“Steve,” Robin said, it seemed with no real purpose at all, except maybe to stop Steve from going on.
“No, I remember you guys saying that nothing fun was happening tonight so you guys weren’t going out, that’s what you told me!” Steve said, he was white-knuckling the steering wheel.
“Look, Steve, Birdie’s not gonna tell you, but sometimes we’ve got to leave poor ol’ Stevie at home.” Eddie said, kicking his feet up on the block of an armrest between the driver’s and passenger’s seat.
“Not every night is meant to include you, sometimes daddy’s got to come out and play” He said with a smile and a laugh.
Robin sputtered, “Ew, ew, I never want to hear you say something like that again.”
The drive home consisted of laughter and chatter between Eddie and Robin.
Steve pulled up to the entrance of Eddie’s trailer park, it was a short walk, maybe two trailers in was Eddie’s home. Usually, Steve drove him right up to the entrance, any closer and Eddie would fall into his home after opening the door.
“We’re here” Steve said, and put his car in park.
Eddie balked, “Really, are you being serious right now Stevie?”
“Shut up, don’t call me that.” Steve said, quickly, afraid he sounded like a petulant child, but angry enough that it didn’t matter much. “Get out of my car.” He said each word, one by one.
“Okay, King Steve, I’ll never ask for a ride with getting you your invite.”
“You’re a real fuck head, Eddie.”
“Whatever,” Eddie said, and slammed the door.
“That wasn’t fair dude,” Robin said. “How are we supposed to trust you if-”
Steve turned around, giving Robin a death stare, “Nothing, I don’t want to hear it, I, fuck Rob, I trusted you guys”
“Steve?”
“Shut. Up. Shut up.”
He dropped Rob off in front of her house, didn’t even pull into the driveway. He watched her get home safe, same way he did Eddie.
4. Steve’s Queer Agenda
Steve hasn’t been talking to them. He’s not gonna apologize first. And he’s not gonna speak to them until they apologize. Even if he felt like a bitch laying the silent treatment on thick.
Ian was rubbing his back, letting him lay all over him.
He mumbled into Ian’s lap.
“I can not understand jibberish.”
“Play with my hair, loser”
“Ooh, be nice.” Ian said, threading his finger into Steve’s hair.
There was a knock at the door, nice and sweet. Then another, practically knocking the door off its hinges.
“Okay, okay, coming” Steve shouted.
“Harrington residence, how can I help you?” Steve said.
Eddie smiled, pushing himself and Robin into the Harrington homestead.
Ian leaned up, peering over the sofa. He was looking for Steve, evident by the smile on his face, that fell quickly when he saw the culprits making Steve so, well, sad. Sad was the only way to put it. Beneath the quiet anger was hurt, and it hurt more than it made Steve angry. “Well, well, if it isn’t the terrible two-some”
“Bar guy?” Eddie said.
“Ian. My name is Ian.”
“Well, what are you two doing here because I don’t hear enough ass-kissing.” Ian said.
“Look,” Eddie said, looking from Ian to Steve “Maybe we all have the wrong idea,”
“Steve, I’m sorry we told you not to come out with us, and then had you come pick us up,” Robin said.
“Me too, I’m sorry” Eddie said.
“You’re a good ally” Eddie started.
“Are you fucking kidding me!” Steve interrupted. “Why even come if you’re just gonna fucking invalidate me to my face, what’s the point? I get it, I’m bisexual. I’m not gay. Fucking, Steve’s not queer enough to come out with us and get shitfaced. Whatever, call me whatever you want behind my back, but in my house? Really!”
“What?” Robin and Eddie said, practically in unision.
“Look, be biphobic somewhere else, okay. I don’t feel like dealing with this ever again.”
“No, no, I thought you were straight,”, “We,” Eddie gestured between himself and Robin, “thought you were straight.” Eddie practically tripped over his words, he was speaking them so fast.
“Are you fucking with me?” Steve said, “You thought I was straight.”
Eddie hesitantly nods, “We maybe thought you were straight.”
“Fucking, fuck you guys,”
“Yeah, fuck you guys” Ian said, repeated from the couch, laying down ergo he wasn’t visible anymore. “You made my boyfriend cry”
Robin looked horrified, “Steve, I didn’t know, I’m so so sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t have a community.” She quickly wiped away her tears, evidently determined not to cry right now, as she got red and sniffly. Robin walked toward Steve arms out like she was going to try to hug him. She was.
Robin said, “Can I hug you, Steve”
Steve, who had been trying to keep it all together, sniffled. He wasn’t going to cry if she wasn’t. He was supposed to be mad. He wrapped his arms around her, and buried his head in her shoulder.
Steve wanted to be angry, or he felt like he should be angry. Yet, he wasn’t, he was mad at them for making assumptions, for excluding him.
But, they were family. He’d been mad at them for as long he could, and then he’d taken to gray, blah, sadness. Not crying, but like trying to stave off a rainstorm. There was nothing he wanted to hear more than: we accept you.
It helped take the edge off. He could be mad about it later, take in all their forgiveness now.
“I’m really sorry, Steve, really, really, sorry” Robin said.
“We fucked up, Steve, I fucked up. I’m sorry too. I’m really sorry.” Eddie said.
“Now kiss,” Ian chimed in.
Steve laughed.
#Steve Harrington is Bisexual#Eddie is Gay#Stranger Things Fanfiction#Steve Harrington#I forgot the Steddie#I'm sorry#have some angst instead#I hope this makes yall sweaty#I was heated writing it#I might add Steddie but it won't be until 2026 probably#I have things i'm supposed to finish#I have updated a one of my wips in years#I want to finish it#also posted on ao3
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Alrighty y'know what time it is heheh
TRR [Team Rainbow Rocket] Headcanons!!
[keep in mind this is just my AU you can have your own, this is just how I see these idiots]
[Also- yes I ship Lysandre & Cyrus, because I have my AU & my opinions, so don't like demonetize me saying some other ship is better stfu-]
-Giovanni-
Pansexual. Always been a little fruity, especially since he was a teen, & kinda crushes on Nanu- that's unrelated tho <3
Short as fuck. Like I mean this dude is 5 foot tall, whenever you see like photos of him with the rest of Team Rocket, he's usually standing on a fucking step-stool
Has rlly bad anxiety & shit like that, also takes antidepressants & medication because his mental health used to be rlly rlly bad [because of Ariana & just stressing out about managing Team Rocket] & he'll get like that bad if he goes long enough without them
Actually a decent father unlike his canon counterparts. Took care of Silver instead of putting him up for adoption after Ariana left, basically had to juggle trying not to be a deadbeat dad & managing a big mafia lmao. Silver turned out decent- he doesn't hate Giovanni so yippee!! [they actually get along whoa]
Absolutely fucking hates Professor Oak, due to some *personal* issues in the past.
Can cook rlly good. He actually wanted to get into culinary classes & shit but he got expelled out of highschool & then disowned so that was crushed along with his will to live
-Maxie-
Trans [FTM] Archie is rlly the only one who knows, because he's a nosy fucker lmao. Still has rlly bad body dysphoria- explaining all the layers & oversized jacket [didn't get top surgery because he's a chicken shit so he just wears a binder 24/7]
Not actually from Hoenn [surprise surprise!!]- originally from Orre but moved to Hoenn because it was transphobic as fuck & it genuinely just sucked lolz
One of the only sane ones in TRR, also actually smart [like he didn't wanna like dry up all the water he just wanted to make more islands in Hoenn- still a dangerous method haha]
Salty as fuck. Will find something annoying or unlikable about you, he doesn't care who the hell you are he will do it. Also, he fucking hates Archie- probably cuz he screws up his damn research & drags him along lmao
Overworks himself all the damn time, & has a bad habit of putting himself in uncomfortable situations- such as choosing his admins. Maybe he should've gotten to know Courtney & Tabitha more before making them the Team Magma admins [oki oki but Tabitha gives off the vibes that he streams League of Legends in a damn maid outfit every night. Also I don't like Courtney because she just gives off those creep vibes eugh]
-Archie-
Gay & polyamorous. All the surfer guys in Alola are NOT fucking safe because he's there lmao. Also him & Matt are exes, but since no hard feelings they're still friends
Aggressive wholesomeness 24/7- also THE ultimate extrovert who tries to be on good terms with everyone except if you're Ghetsis because if you're Ghetsis fuck you [he's an absolute sweetheart but also a dumbass]
Dumb as fuck. Half the shit he pulls he just did because he felt like it or he was bored- he doesn't have a goddamn reason he just fucking did it
His Sharpedo's name is Grace. This is very important because Grace is love Grace is life
Gives everyone stupid nicknames & makes horrible jokes & puns. Sometimes it's fucking unbearable because they're so damn cheesy & Maxie is yelling from across the room telling him to shut the fuck up but he thinks he's goddamn hilarious
-Cyrus-
Greysexual. Attracted to his opposite [sweet cute guys aka Lysandre]
He's emo guys!!! Omg real!!! If he's not wearing his Galactic uniform he's wearing oversized grunge style clothing- you will never see him wearing anything with colour. Also yes he wears eyeliner & people assume he wears eyeshadow but nah that's just his dark ass eyebags
He's a fucking empath & it's hilarious. He hates it because he tries so damn hard to ignore his emotions which only makes his already rapidly declining mental health worse
Horrible sleep schedule & just terrible at taking care of himself in general. He's running off of goddamn energy drinks & coffee- he won't sleep unless he passes out from exhaustion lmao. Also he only rlly eats like popcorn [which is usually like he's up at 2 in the morning watching a space documentary & he just binge eats it because he hasn't eaten in two weeks or something]
THE ultimate space nerd. If you even mention something space related he will give you a detailed explanation or description about said space thing- also he's got Team Galactic's base is all space themed & they have millions of dollars worth of stolen space tech lmao [autism moment yes Cyrus is autistic]
Has an engineering degree, also graduated highschool when he was 16 & got into college early. Moved out of his parents' house the second he had enough money
-Ghetsis-
Aroace. The most hardcore aroace guy out there. He has trouble with love & shit due to trauma, which also kinda makes it hard for him to admit that he does fucking care about N [he doesn't deserve N]
Do I really have to explain that this guy is fucking insane? Do I? [He's got actual BPD & he's narcissistic as hell but he's just gotten worse. Also autistic but that's not rlly- bad]
He looks like he'd be homophobic- but he's not. He just hates everyone. Also he's not like sexist or anything like that too
The most stylish & extra person you'll meet. He has a giant wardrobe & has all his clothes custom tailored- he has outfits for certain occasions & times, & he absolutely HAS to have the finest of jewelry & has to get himself all dolled up too. Bro is also feminine as hell sometimes. He knows he's fucking pretty
Has the most random talents & hobbies. I mean, he can swordfight- & also knows gardening?? Wha??? Also very musically talented- he plays 'elegant' instruments like the piano & harp
A goddamn drama queen. If his temper wasn't bad enough don't even get started on how damn overdramatic this asshole is. I swear Colress is so done with his shit
-Lysandre-
Asexual/Demiromantic. Attracted to everyone but preferably men, also will only be attracted to someone if he feels like he has an emotional bond with someone lol
Kinda on the dumber side. Also slow on things, like figuring out what he's actually doing. Genuinely a very sweet & kind person, also a bit of a crybaby but that's unimportant [undiagnosed ADHD]
He's a goddamn baker. He has a degree in business & finances or something- only because his parents made him. He's just an idiot lion baker man. That's also the only reason he took over Team Flare, the old leader kinda just appeared in an alley & told him he could have a bakery if he took up the offer lmaoo
Actually from another universe where he got shot by the Ultimate Weapon, but got swip swapped by Colress because why not!! Because it was a blast full of Xerneas's power [the whimsical deer fairy Pokemon of fucking life] he's immortal. He also can't get like injured- he'll just regenerate
He looks so goddamn intimidating- & he's oblivious to it. Half the time it's because he partially has a resting bitch face or he's squinting because he's kinda far-sighted. Whenever someone says something about it he just gets so fucking confused lmaoo
Thats all for now! I'll do a part 2 & maybe some extras for other characters like Colress- but yeah this is all for now lolzies
#team rainbow rocket#rainbow rocket#trr#giovanni#ghetsis#maxie#archie#cyrus#lysandre#pkmn#pokemon#my au#team rocket#team magma#team aqua#team plasma#team galactic#team flare
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dialogue prompts
for those who don't know, my life is bonkers and I cope by making prompt lists out of the more bizarre things I say/people say to me/I hear by being in proximity of equally weird people. send a number with a character/ship/dynamic of your choosing and I'll do what I can
“So I may have accidentally recruited your ex to help me move.” “I’m so sorry, was he awful?”
“How’s living next to a construction site?” “I prefer the sound of people playing pool.” “That bad, huh?”
“You’re the main character!” “Stop saying I’m the main character, I have been the snarky, comic relief my whole life and I’m not stopping now.”
“I can’t quit my job, I can’t quit my job-” “What happened?” “Some guy wanted to talk to me about his prostate.” “Don’t you work at a library?”
“So because I’m me, I made a spreadsheet about it.” “You’re incredible.”
“You signed me up for a job interview?” “Yeah.”
“You’re not going to believe what he said.” “I find that hard to believe, try me.”
“I accidentally gave you so many traits.” “Hey, I had autism first.”
“I let you kiss me one time-” “It has been more than one time.”
“Were you here for the male model thing?” “No?”
“Have fun!” “Kill me.” “Or just don’t kill anyone I guess.”
“If you call Latin a dead language one more time I’m going to throw myself across this desk at you.”
“I’m going to ask you a question and you’re going to feel attacked.” “Fine.” “Why does it have to be that way?”
“I just took a quiz for fun and accidentally did geometry by hand.” “Nerd.”
“I’d wear shorts.” “It’s snowing.”
“You have a very expressive face.” “I don’t like that you noticed that.”
“When do you leave?” “In like an hour, why?” “Can you build things?” “Yes, but I repeat, why?”
“So here I am, sitting and talking about amputations-” “I have absolutely no idea where this is going, but I love it.”
“Did the raccoon get into the attic again?”
“It’s 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday, something better actually be on fire.”
“Is a potato a vegetable?”
“Everything you do is calculated.” “You make me sound like a robot.”
“I’m so sorry, I’m going to be late.” “Everything okay?” “Yeah, no, I’m fine, I just may have broken my foot and I need to go to urgent care.” “That is… the opposite of fine.”
“Don’t question why I know how to pop the screen out of a window.” “Our fucking door won’t open, as long as we can get outside, I don’t care.”
“So Thursday was a bad day for you then?”
“You used to be buff.” “I thought you were going to say something entirely different, but I guess we’re going this way then.”
“How are you not freaking out right now?” “I’ve been living with this for months now dude, this is just entertainment for me.”
“I was elected most responsible at summer camp when I was five.” “Some things never change.”
“I had a chemistry teacher in high school who could write with both hands at the same time. She needed an exorcism.”
“The age of the child you hit with your car determines the number of points you get.”
“How’d the meeting go?” “I think I came out as gay to the entire board.” “What the fuck.”
“This is probably the only dick pic I’ll ever get and that’s okay.”
“Oh my god, I out-autismed the whole group chat.”
“No more kisses until you stop apologizing for being human.” “That’s not fair, you know that’ll work on me.”
“I can feel my bones.” “That’s not ideal”
“You dumb bitch.” “It worked, didn’t it?”
“Good news, you've just unlocked my niche special interest that I can and will talk for at least ten minutes straight about. Are you ready to learn?”
“You know what I’m talking about, you do not have the moral high ground.”
“I’m going to be so real with you, I literally hate this. Like this sucks.”
“I don’t think you understand that this is the greatest news I’ve ever been given. Like genuinely, this is the happiest I’ve been in weeks.”
“Good to know you would have died very early in the Middle Ages.”
“Is that a mosquito bite? Dude, it’s March.”
“You know you’re going to have a good day when the maintenance guy says ‘well that’s different’.”
“Yeah, I don’t know, the last time I cried I think it was December.” “It’s April?” “Hey, the time before that it was July, so.”
“No wait, turn up the music. Never mind, I thought it was the Law and Order theme.” “Do you think I have the Law and Order theme on a CD in my car?”
“Please don’t assault my boyfriend.”
“Would you like a new best friend? Because I think I found your new best friend.”
“Guess who had a baby.” “No.”
“What is the purpose of nipple rings?” “Decoration.” “Like a Christmas tree!”
“I honestly don’t know how to be a person anymore. Please don’t contact me for 3-5 business days while I sort that out.”
#ellis writes#prompts#writing prompts#dialogue prompts#send asks#if I can remember the context for half of these it will be a miracle
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Xena Reactions S2Ep11
I love nature shots. Beautiful. They're so sweet, walking CLOSE
Gabrielle fell
CLAMS
She'll nomm them. XD
.... 👀 "Clams"
Lots of sparsely dressed women running, and men being shitty
GOOD ON XENA FOR HITTING THEM
GAY MERCHANT!!!!!!
"Xena :D"
Beauty contest???
"A feeble excuse for men to exploit and degrade women" real
This dude is so.. 😂 He's a funky gay man tho.
Yes Gabrielle you tell him!
XENA GOES IN sjdhfd
Gabrielle's OUTFIT
"Watch it, clod" PERIDOT!? GREEN DORITO GEM!?
Noooo, that was... Oop
"I find your concern sooo touching"
Please these men are all... 😑
Gabrielle fuck yeah. What is that accent tho
All those women being exploited...
Oop she has a scar.
Did they lock Xena in... She's gonna climb out
"unusually perceptive" MY ASS. GABRIELLE IS SUPER SMART
A BLONDE WIG!? REALLY? 😂
Whomst is sneaking and stealing Xena's armour?
Salmonis being a shittt
A TRANS WOMAN? An enby? We love it. They're sweet.
"Who cares about the girls" the dudes SUCKKKK
"The power, the passion!"
Did someone rip her dress?
The winged costumes are cute
Yeah well that performance was
MAKE HIM BEG. MAKE HIM APOLOGISE. HEHE
These hobbies sound kinda... Lame
"HER LOCAL HESTIAN VIRGINS" fuck yeah! Asexual rights
"This means war" snfjdsh
"Honey I'm no princess, I'm a queen" YES YOU ARE!!! 🥰
I hope Miss Artiphys wins, she (they) are so sweet
"I don't understand why you don't sing" AHAHA GABRIELLE WANTS TO HEAR XENA SING
Urgh those men SUCK
"What is it with you three?" literally, Gabrielle
Damn she'll fix it
This woman is kinda sus
She's amazing. They're all traumatised and hope to get away or something better
"What about your feelings, don't they count?" YES AAAAA
I love this. Women support women.
Beautiful nature shots.
Well this sounds like someone manipulating... Sawing
Wow they literally do not care so long as she's pretty...
"Whatever that song you just played was"
Miss Artiphys is beautiful
A snek. A DANGER noodle
UH OH
She saved her but shoved her aside...
A THONK
Whoooo's doing all thissss
I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHE'S SUS
Also him.
"I'd stake my life, where in fact, I'm staking yours" okay that's kinda funny
AHAHA SHE TIED them up so they heard the confession
"Don't hate me cos I'm pretty🥺" sjfjdhd
I hope Miss Artiphys wins. XD
OMG YAYYY SHE QUITS BC XENA INSPIRED THEM
YAY THE ONE DUDE BEING LIKE "She wants to quit, shut"
Let's ignore Salmonius's look. But look at them so cute! So glad they won!
MISS Artiphys KISSED XENA???
Gabrielle is like O_o My gf??
Love the kiss tho XD
I'm... the "She's a man?" "Yup." Ehhh... Not amazing but it's a show by cis people in the 90s. Apart from this? Amazing. Like, maybe Miss Artiphys is a drag queen. Or genderqueer or a hermaphrodite? Greek mythology? Trans woman? Queer. Miss Artiphys is queer. And it doesn't matter. Because: "Beauty is beauty." as Xena said
#v watches xena#i loved this ep! I'm honestly pleasantly surprised by the trans rep?#like there's two lines I think but heck this is more positive than a lot of stuff coming out ages later#xena warrior princess#xena and gabrielle
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being called not a real Leftist because the Left in the US was unable to push towards a more robust third part candidacy before the orange nazi tried to get power back while threatening a gestapo towards immigrants is like lmao. "i refuse to vote outside of my principles and values" do you think your aunt who's voting for trump hates the gay couple down the street or her mexican friend from the crochet club? no but she'll still vote for him due to his manipulation and lies and the belief "it'll be better for the country"
fighting for a better future means also weathering the present. In Brazil lots of people were like "oh :/ but i don't like the center-left party so I won't vote for it" in 2018 and split the vote and we got Bolsonaro. 100,000 PLUS AVOIDABLE DEATHS DURING THE PANDEMIC IN A COUNTRY WITH THE BEST VACCINATION SYSTEM IN THE WORLD. Utopian politics mean protesting and doing your best to change the system meaningfully, through YEARS of movement, while trying to survive. Things like: demolishing bipartidarism.
"i refuse to vote outside of my values" bitch you're a UNITEDSTADIAN. the EXISTENCE of your country alone enacts cultural colonization over the world and that's a 100 year plus project. fighting for a better future also means sucking it up for OUR future and thinking about THE WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO that is ABOUT TO HAPPEN. it's called nationality privilege. even the most opressed person in the US makes more of a difference in world politics than most white middle class people in the entire world when they vote. do you ever even THINK about that.
"oh nooo i dont like bipartisanship i think i'll just let THE FUCKING LITERAL FACHO win so i wont vote for the other dude and show them meanies we dont like the system rn" is the most entitled thing i've ever seen coming from an unitedstadian with the power of voting for public office. one that calls themself more leftist than people who are willing to play the long game when it's not AS DANGEROUS. or you think the genocide is going to get any less overt in a new trump admn because your widdle heawt was in the right place? go touch some grass.
#us politics#honestly fuck this. fuck this rainbow colored individualism#'i refuse to vote for a party who enacts genocide' GUESS WHAT BITCH YOU NEED GROUND TO WALK ON BEFORE ALLOWING TRUMP TO TAKE POWER AND DO W#RSE
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DOUBLE SIDED
"This feels nice," Logan said as we lay in his condo bed, slowly feeling each other's naked body up and making out softly.
"It does," I admitted.
*
It had been too long since I'd seen my little brother, three whole years, but after a year of dealing with divorce shit and feeling in the dumps, I decided to take some personal time and fly to New York for a few days. It was Logan's idea, and he invited me up in a way that suggested there would be no strings. Just two brothers catching up and having a fun long weekend.
Well, the second I saw Logan I knew it was gonna be more. My heart felt like it stopped or slowed and I just felt that kind of dizzy giddiness. Logan felt it too.
"Hey," he said, as he ushered me in. His place seemed small by North Carolina standards, but it was a nice, modern one-bedroom with a pretty sweet view. Logan did pretty dang good for himself.
I stepped in, unable to break my goofy smile or take my eyes off him, not even to look around the place. He was real hunky, muscular but a lot leaner than I was. He always confessed he loved my beefy build, but I would have taken his body in a heartbeat. I guess we all want to be something we're not.
"Hey," I answered, hoping I was reading his eye contact right.
I was. Logan stepped up to me and like that, my little brother's strong arms were slinking around my waist and pulling my taller, bigger body to him. Our kiss was electric. Deep, sensual and able to send goosebumps all over my skin.
"I wasn't sure you'd be up for that," he hissed as he pulled back.
My hands clung to every inch I could grip. Even through his polo shirt it felt real fucking solid. "I'm even more up for it now," I replied. "In case you don't remember, I'm no longer a married man."
Logan got a contrite look on his face. "Sorry, Dunc." My brother was the only one who called me Dunc instead of Duncan.
"Some things are meant to be," I said. I knew there would be time to talk about the big adjustments in my life post divorce, but that could wait. "Maybe we can get naked?" I urged.
Logan smiled big. "Oh yeah."
We went to his bedroom and playfully stripped for each other. I may be 41 and Logan 35 but it was just back like when we were younger easy. Our bodies felt warmer as we embraced naked and hard. I'd experimented with shaving down my chest and Logan had gotten hairier, even growing a soft bristly beard. It was like a reverse of the normal us, but it felt the same, too. Hands on each other, mutual admiration, deep kissing. Sensual incest.
Logan went down on me, but I held off cumming, even though my little bro is a total stud when sucking dick. I did my best to return the favor, until Logan tapped my shoulder. Either he was getting too close to blowing or he just wanted to move on to something else. "So big bro... you been taking advantage of your new freedom?" he asked.
"Some," I replied. "Not a lot." I'd fooled around with some guys since divorcing Sara, but I'm not proud to say my batting average while married was about the same.
Logan nodded, running his hand up and down my smooth abs. I got the sense he looked the shaved look on me, or at least the novelty. "You still take bottom bunk?"
"Yeah, pretty much," I grinned. This was one bond Logan and I had. He was an out and proud gay dude, and I was a closeted small town cop who went to the big city for my occasional hookups. But our preferences in bed were strikingly similar, almost identical.
Logan kissed me more passionately, a quick kiss, but one that let me know he was turned on by that information. "I've moved on to bigger toys," he said.
"Oh. How big?"
My brother bit his lip as he reflected if he was going to tell me. Then he reached over to his bedside drawer and pulled out a dildo and some lube.
"You serious?" I asked. That dong was long, but more than that, it was very thick.
"Let me show you," my little brother said and slicked it up as he leaned back on the bed next to me, pulling his legs back in a classic missionary fuck-me position. God he was handsome as fuck, gorgeous even. Straw haired and all taut muscle, not an inch of body fat on him. I couldn't believe Logan didn't have a steady boyfriend. Or maybe he did. I'd have to ask him later.
It took a little preparatory working of his ring, but pretty soon, Logan twisted and angled that dildo right into his ass.
"Fuck, that's nice!" he hissed. My little brother was the one who introduced me to the term bottom, but we were equally in thrall with having our ass stuffed.
"Goddamn, bro," I exclaimed as I watched his sphincter swallow up more and more of that massively thick toy.
Loganis seemed proud. "This isn't even the biggest one I use, Dunc," he boasted. "It's kind of my every day one now." He sawed more and more of that dildo in and out, his eyes mostly on me. "You still play with yours?"
"Every day," I said. "But not like that."
"Wanna try?" he urged.
If it had been anyone else but Logan I would have said fuck no, but instead I nodded and lay back in a matching pose as my brother extracted that fake cock and put more lube on it.
He took charge of working it into me, and the sexiness of that helped, a lot. It took some real patience, but I was turned on and eventually I felt my tightness give way to a really fucking thick phallus. "God, fuck!" I hissed.
"My big cop brother like that?" he teased.
"Jesus, Logan, this is intense," I answered honestly.
"You got a hungry hole, brother," Logan growled. "Just like mine." More dildo pushed in and from there on it was pure excitement. The sexual situation, the prostate stimulation and the pushing of boundaries all made my dick rock hard and leaking as Logan violated my cop hole with that toy.
"It's been too long," I grunted, now raising my hips up off the bed to impale myself on that final fat inch, over and over.
"You're a fucking pro at this, Dunc," Logan encouraged, twisting that toy as I rode it. It was lewd as hell and we both loved sex like this. His eyes were on me, my ass swallowing his dildo, my smooth beefy body, my face contorting from the new sensations.
"I got another one," he threw out there. "Bigger."
No hesitation this time. "Fuck yeah," I answered.
And like that, Logan was pulling the thick phallus from my ass and retrieving the fatter one. He pulled it out proudly and started coating it liberally with lube. That fucker was big.... two feet long and double wide, a shiny black rubber and two ends. I'd seen such a thing in porn but nowhere else.
"You have another buddy into this?" I asked. This was clearly a toy designed for two.
"I wish," Logan said. "It's only gotten the double use once." He gave me a shy smirk as he started pushing the dong into my now relaxed hole. "I was hoping you'd be up for this, actually."
Somehow, the double wide went in OK, easier than the first. After six inches it became tougher with my internal resistance, but for now that was enough. Logan got a concerted look on his face and scooted into place, pulling his legs back to match mine and guiding the other end into his hole.
"Shit!" I cried as I watched my hunky little brother undulate his hips to work that staff steadily inside his guts. As he descended I felt an excitement sweep over me and I scooted down more of that incredible thickness. Maybe my hole would be sore as hell the next day. Or maybe not. For now, I felt on fire.
Our asses met. We paused a second and locked eyes on one another. We were ready. Our hips pushed and our abs clenched. And like that Logan and I were riding that bad boy together, in tandem. The mutual motion made the penetration feel extra deep and hard. I loved it. Logan was in heaven.
"I'm not going to be able to last that long," I warned.
"Me either," Logan hissed. "Go for it, bro."
I pulled my pud just as Logan started jerking his. Neither of us Smith men were hung all tha big, but that was OK. Our mostly matching cocks felt hard and great and alive in our hands.
I shot first, all over my chest and belly, but Logan was a second behind. We laughed a little after at how slutty and worked up we'd been. But I was rock hard still, and Logan wasn't making any move to back off that dildo. "Another round?" he challenged.
So we rode that fucker one more time, slower this time, trading deep sex talk and talking up each other's bodies. I told Logan about the three men who'd fucked me over the last year and how they were as tops but how THIS was something else. Something better and more intense.
Logan nodded, taking it all in as he humped against me stuffed ass and jerked his dick. He confessed he tried to find guys who looked like me, and that did it. I came again, hard, even if I didn't have as much sperm to spray this time.
By now, my ass was screaming for relief and carefully we worked ourselves free. Logan took the toy to the bathroom to rinse off then came back with a damp washcloth to wipe me down. It was a simple but wonderful gesture.
We snuggled up to one another, kissing softly. I had three more days of this. We had three more days of this. By the end of the weekend, Logan and I would figure out if this was like the other times. But for now, I just wanted to hold my adorable baby brother.
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8, 10 + 2 if you're feeling heinous 😈 24 if ur not 😇
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
well MY special little noble is actually the most inherently just and pure of heart and when they win the throne there will be a thousand years of peace. Wdym inherent violence of feudalism that's not real. And while there has been a downtrend in this belief throughout the last five years it HAS influenced a lot of other discource subtly... most people have realized that the way to start fixing westeros's problems is not thru a nice feudal monarch, but they dont understand that abandoning this framework for character/plot analysis also means abandoning a lot of other framework. In the arya v sansa wars people still use feudal patriarchal definitions of femininity to decide who is the Best Sexy Feminist (preteen girl). In debates about morality for certain actions people excuse things because it aligns with the feudal code of ethics- a deeply flawed and violent code. See: ned HAD to take theon hostage because well we live in a society. Like i think it's important not to hold characters to the same moral standards that we hold people in modern times to, because their circumstances are so wildly different, but we dont have to adhere to THEIR feudal values when analyzing them because its only a detriment to their characters. They live in a society but WE do not... cmon guys...
10. Worst part of fanon
no one fucking draws these characters ugly enough. Asoiaf fandom has a plague of sameface ig model syndrome and it sucks cause george puts so much distinct personality even in minor characters and then people are like hmmmmm what if they had the same button nose and good chin that everyone else has. Brienne is ugly let her be ugly!!! Arya and jon have long plain faces u dont have to draw the teen/preteen kids as super defined and striking! Let the kids look like kids. I don't care how beautiful dany is let her be a 15 yr old. OR the instinct to make everyone best friends forever and soften the complicated dynamics btwn these characters. like modern aus where the starks are the benevolent rich people who adopted theon from his abusive trailer park family grind my gears like hes a child hostage from a powerful noble house and u cant erase such a defining part of his character bc you want everyone to be nice to each other. Also related to this is people making jaime nice/acting like asos was a redemption arc or that he didnt commit some uniquely horrific acts in agot/acok. His actions thru out the last two books are not the acts of a changed man they are the acts of a man who realized he can make choices based on empathy and reason not instinct. LAST thing which is something i dont reaaaaally see here much but i know the cunts on ao3 are doing it: the post canon thing where people want brienne and jaime to get married and have twelve kids. Fuck you eat shit and die brienne is not an incubator especially not for that lannister SLAG
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
cersei is not necessarily my fave but shes a character whose sexuality i often think of. In canon the only time she's had sex with a woman she's topped and every time she fucks a dude she's disassociating so hard shes on another planet. Even when fucking jaime shes like imagining herself in his body fucking him in her body. In the bulldyke cersei universe he's stone. The pants stay on during sex and so does the shirt and probably also the shoes. Cis gay guy cersei universe he already thinks being gay is emasculating enough so obviously he's not going to let anyone penetrate him. Transmasc bi universe its like you've never been strapped until you've been strapped by a dude who's never cum once in his whole life. THANK YOU!
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
"Daenerys is basically george bush because she uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well its a post 9/11 metaphor and uhhh well astapor is basically iraq and uhhhhh nuclear arms" "dany has never done anything wrong in her life and criticizing her means uhhhhh you hate women and abuse victims" "dany is a RAPIST and a RACIST and wants ALL BROWN PEOPLE TO BE SUBSERVIENT TO HER" "mirri maz duur deserved to die horribly for killing (checks notes) her enslaver" "dany is a colonizer (that's not what that word means. you need to look up what that word means)" brothers. Lets all link arms and kill ourselves
Jesus Christ this is long as hell. Sorry I got a lot of beef
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MORE JOJ GIRLS joanna's design isn't creative at all with the exception of her dress. like its deadass just jonathans outfit. REASON FOR THIS BEING a lot of my thoughts on her are less abt her design and more abt what her story could be. strap in fellas its time for an Unhinged JoJo Rant courtesy of tumblr user hellboundhimbo.
now i already touched a bit on the subject here, but boy howdy if she still doesn't live in my head rent free. since writing said post, I've had a brain blast in the form of an epiphany that, what if all those concepts, but she's TRANS. i know, i'm a genius (read also: stupid gay idiot). t4t jonaeri, anyone?
i wanted her design to reflect the journey of coming into her own, and finding her own definition of womanhood. at the beginning of PH, she wears very traditionally victorian clothing. long dresses, corsets, those big ass hats, the whole sha bang. over the course of the story, however, she realizes she doesn't need to conform to societal standards to be "worthy" of the title of woman, so she begins to dress in ways she wants to, or is practical for that specific situation. i wanted to make it a point that while she lets her hair down, she never cuts it or is like "EW EARRINGS BLEH' cuz like. femininity isn't her enemy!! its the patriarchal standards that enforce such a rigid, static form of it onto people!!
when it comes to the trans aspect of her story, I thought long and hard about how to go about it cuz like. i'm trans masc myself, and the last thing i'd want to do is try to infuse transness into a story and have it feel like a redundant, shitty commentary that intrudes on the narrative or smth. i think I've come up with a good idea of where to go with it, though.
i think joanna probably came out sometime in her early teen years, around 13-15, but started questioning around the time she met erina, (haven't come up w a name for him yet, if yall have any ideas feel free to shout em.) who came out much earlier, like 9 or so. just like the idea of joanna being like "omg wow u changed ur gender wow that's so crazy haha doesn't everyone feel that way tho" and erina's like. no???? they don't????
anyway once joanna came out lady joestar was like "ok fine u can trans ur gender BUT you gotta be a lady." which sucks cuz no more rugby but fuck it we ball (or I guess. not. ball.) she struggles a lot with being a poised debutante cuz shes like 6'5 and rich dudes don't really like it when their dance partners could chuck them to the colonies with one arm but fuck them. rest of the story remains mostly unchanged, blah blah blah dio blah blah stone mask blah blah you know the drill ANYWAY speedwagon's first appearance is when we really start making some real impacts on joanna's character, with some definite parallels being drawn between joanna, who was lucky enough to be rich and accepted by her family (for the most part,,,) and speedwagon, who lives in the slums with no family to speak of. by proxy, some parallels to dio as well (she'll get her own ramble when I post her design in 284738374 years), because phantom blood sets up so much for a conversation about classism that we see so little of :( love phantom blood tho dgmw
also you can bet your sweet ass that hamon is becoming a metaphor for queer liberation.
don't wanna divulge too much about it cuz like I am hoping to write something about this at some point but,,, big Thoughts here trust me bro.
to address the elephant in the room, how does joanna got honkers if there was no hormone therapy in victorian times? hamon doubles as hrt. if araki's allowed to pull new hamon capabilities out of his ass every 5 seconds, so am I. it works for the metaphor too but like that's less funny.
#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#phantom blood#jonathan joestar#genderswap#this is still for the genderswaps#i just trans'd her gender to achieve said swap#eat my ass transphobes#art#fanart#transgender#jojo no kimyō na bōken#genderbend#my art
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For the fic writer asks: 18, 19, 22, 40, 41
Also I don't think I saw anything like this on the list so this one's straight from my brain: Do you have notes to help you keep track of what's happening in each of your WIPs, or are you just able to do that in your head (my memory fucking sucks - I could never)
Hope you're having a good day 😘 (at first I accidently typed "gay" instead of "day" and ya know what? I DO hope you're having a good gay day 😂)
Dude thank you so much for sending these, i fucking love talking about writing and fandom <3 it brings me so much joy
18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
All three!! Titling is actually my favorite part. Usually, they come from song titles, lyrics, or references that I felt either really captured the theme of the characters or the plot. Or sometimes they are the inspiration!! Sometimes they are funny, catchy or sexy in ways I think will bring people in but mostly they are song titles/lyrics haha
Almost all of the angsty Harringrove fics I wrote (13+ i think now) are MGK songs haha 2020-2022 was my all MGK all the time period because he dropped two sick fucking albums in two years and helped me out of more spirals than I can count.
19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?
Oh shit idk can I check that? Let me go look…
Alright im too high to do that and google wasn't helpful so i'm taking a guess haha probably Smut or angst. I don't write exclusively smut or angst but almost every single fic I have has hurt/comfort scenes or sex scenes in them. Probs cuz people cry and have sex in real life haha and i'm tired of the bullshit on tv
22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)
I don't write anything with scat or piss play, just not my thing so i think it would be difficult to write it for me. I don't have usually any hard no’s when it comes to writing. The content I consume is a different answer though. Likely because I have the ability to just not think about the things I don't want to think/write about whereas if I don't check does the dog die.com before a movie I’ll be panicking the whole time I’m gonna be triggered by on screen SA which seems to be a recurring theme in EVERY scary/thriller these days (fuck YOU hollywood)
40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Dude any!!!! But i'm also a horny slut so really any of the Hankconvin, steddiegrove, harringrove, parksborn sex scenes are good with me!!
I still have the fan art someone made me for a fic I wrote back in 2013 as my phone background :3 I have since lost touch with them on tumblr but I think about them everyday
41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?
I’m a huge re-reader/reconsumer. I will watch the same show 100 times and never get tired of it. Same with the fics I read. I’m a SUCKER for that good good content
Bonus ?: Also I don't think I saw anything like this on the list so this one's straight from my brain: Do you have notes to help you keep track of what's happening in each of your WIPs, or are you just able to do that in your head (my memory fucking sucks - I could never)
Hahahahha yes and no. If its a short fic, I'll usually just reread it before i start adding new content since I jump around between fics CONSTANTLY. If it's a long fic, like the fucking Eden club yes, I have notes because I just don't have the time to go back and reread. My docs are a total mess hahahaha
I love you, thank you for theses <3 I AM HAVING A GREAT GAY DAY AND I FUCKING HOPE YOU ARE TOO!
#max answers#ash answers#sunwarmed ash#find me on ao3#links in bio#i post new stuff every sunday#sinful sunday
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