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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 6 months

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Hey, so I saw your post about some fics demonizing Neytiri. That has actually been one of my major fears as a fic writer, attempting to balance Neytiri's extremely valid trauma and the POV I'm writing from (that is typically flawed in some way). I was wondering, since you seem very well-versed on the topic, what do you define as "demonizing" for Neytiri? Is it ok to write from a perspective where a character doesn't really like or trust her, as long as the trauma is noted? Do you have any resources so I can educate myself to properly write this kind of character?

I really want to make sure I'm doing right by Neytiri and improve as a fic writer overall, so any advice you could offer would be very much appreciated!

Whoa, what a complicated and nuanced question. A great one! And I'm super flattered you came to me! Just one I'm going to try to answer to the best of my ability. I'm assuming you're referring to Norm's pov in your fic?

First of all, I do not want to at all proclaim to be an expert on generational trauma; I am not a person of color, and I have been lucky enough to have a very normal and healthy family. I just had a best friend growing up in an abusive household and took steps to educate myself best I could to understand the situation, which I believe anyone would do. So I'm just gonna try to word vomit out my thoughts for you, please ask questions or challenge any of what I say if any of you see anything you think is incorrect. Buckle in, this will be long.

What do you define as "demonizing" for Neytiri?

Demonizing means portraying someone as wicked or threatening, as evil or worthy of contempt and blame.

For me, demonizing for Neytiri is the trend I've seen lately of portraying her as this unyielding, animalistic type character who's hatred of humans, Spider specifically, goes so far that she gets physically violent with Spider and eventually ends up tearing apart her family. In these fics, Jake is always a sad sack loser bystander, loving his wife too much to step in but of course shamefully knowing how wrong what she's doing is. Infantilizing poor white savior Jake Sully, being brow beaten by his mean indigenous wife into neglecting a child is a weirdly strong take in this fandom. Often Mo'at is a wise elder chiding Neytiri for being unable to get over her prejudice. Mo'at and Jake understand Neytiri as much as anyone would, they wouldn't shame her. To me, it's an extremely reductive and frankly borderline racist characterization. When paired with a sympathetic view of Quaritch, it is at best irresponsible and at worst knowingly dangerous.

Neytiri is representative of an indigenous woman. I feel like I don't have to explain why making her violent, volatile, and completely unreasonable is a little bit of a harmful caricature. In these fics, for me, Neytiri ceases to be a person. She looses autonomy to sort of represent this monolith of hatred and prejudice that has hurt our little baby boy Spider. It's crazy to me that people can't apply the exact same empathy they have towards Spider (saving Quaritch) to Neytiri (not being able to trust Spider). They are the most foil of foil characters. Their storylines are extremely similar, if I'm being honest. Essentially, ignoring the fact that Neytiri is a member of a minority community being actively genocided by Spider's people is intentionally reductive. If you can empathize with Spider, and ESPECIALLY if you find Quaritch sympathetic, finding Neytiri's actions unforgivable is racism, plain and simple.

Also, side note, the lengths people go to where Neytiri just literally will not budge under any circumstances at all is INSANE.

(I read a fic the other day where she gave Spider to child protective services behind everyone's back. That's LUNACY. She only came around after she almost lost Tuk when Tuk was suddenly born prematurely and Mo'at came in and was like "Eywa made it so you can never have kids again because of what you did, have you learned your lesson yet?" Like?? I do not understand the HATRED some of ya'll have for her, the suffering you all think she deserves. She's having an EXTREMELY NORMAL trauma reaction to surviving GENOCIDE? Examine yourselves greatly).

But where I was going was Neytiri is the same character who pushed her parents to let them go to human school, fell in love with human Jake, defended him and trusted him despite her family, mated with him and lost her religious position because of it, and then had a bunch of part human kids with him, and adopted a fully freak of nature kid born of a human she loved and respected. She has human friends, she wears and uses human tech, and she forgave Jake after he had betrayed them. Basically what I'm saying is Neytiri, despite her continuous trauma, is the most open and curious and non traditional Na'vi of all time. Girl is READY to meet new people and learn new shit, and to be open to everyone. Sometimes I think about a no trauma Neytiri and I get emotional. I think it's crazy to say she would never budge on Spider, if it wasn't for his dad I'm pretty sure she would've softened lonnnnng ago, if not having liked him from the get go.

Um, that got way too long I have too many thoughts. Second half of your question.

Is it ok to write from a perspective where a character doesn't really like or trust her, as long as the trauma is noted?

This is a tricky question, because technically there is nothing you can't do as a writer. Of course, it also means there is nothing anyone can't criticize you for writing. Like, Colleen Hoover can say she's writing realistic depictions of domestic abuse until the cows come home, I'm still going to say she's romanticizing and normalizing it in a super callous way. Neither of us can stop the other. So yeah, of course you're okay to write from the perspective of a character that doesn't like Neytiri. I just think the point will be what your prerogative is. One of my MFA professors says it in a way I like and I'm sure I've referenced before, if you aren't trying to make a point about something that might have to have a trigger warning then don't include it. I always say I would take it a step further; if your point is to defend that thing, don't do it. So for me, my big points would be try not to project my own feelings onto the character either way; if the character is wrong about something and the narrative intends to show that they will either learn, or we the reader will grow past them. But to be sure what you feel the takeway of the piece is is what you wanted it to be, I guess.

Do you have any resources so I can educate myself to properly write this kind of character?

Well, I have a few on white writers writing BIPOC characters and the ethics of that if you're interested in that. But I don't have any on specifically writing generational trauma. I guess I'd say reading and absorbing are my biggest tools; so reading books/watching movies or TV that use the speculative to translate generational trauma, and learning about and taking in the real life examples the character is based on. Read up on some genocides, and indigenous people today and how their lives are still affected. Even just watch the news; we're witnessing a very public genocide being pushed right to our attention right now. And of course, that is not the only genocide happening rn, it's just the only one we're talking about, so there's plenty of real world case studies unfortunately right in front of us.

#this got way way too long #it's almost midnight and i still have work tomorrow #i was goING to answer a few asks during amazing race tonight and instead #just this #lol #my bad #hope this helps! feel free to ask or dm with any questions or grievances haha #keep in mind i am not an expert!#i am just someone who likes knowing things and is really annoying about consuming ethically #anyways spider fandom i need u to lay off my girl #fandom criticism of bipoc characters is somehow always a little rooted in racism #but that's because we've all got internalized racism my friends and we cannot escape it without daily intentional thought and conversation #neytiri sully #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #jake sully #jeytiri #mo'at #miles quaritch #tuktirey sully #norm spellman #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron)#melissa is an english major

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thewritingbeforesunrise · 5 months

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30th November 2023 - Bologna, Italy, or the day the boys of Greta Van Fleet attempted to murder the entire fandom in one single move.

I was there.

I still need time to recover, but in all honesty, I think I never will.

The weather was awful. It was extremely cold and we literally froze our asses off in line but it was absolutely worth it!

My sister and I made it to the second row from barricade on Jake's side, and I feel so lucky to have been able to admire their talent and beauty from up close. They were absolutely magical, and they all looked so happy and smiley.

We were so close that we could feel the heat of the flames on our faces! (I really don't know how Danny can resist those flames so close to him)

They put on a phantasmagorical show, and I still can't believe that they played the one and only Runaway Blues!

If I think too much about it, my brain just short circuits.

I almost lost it when they played Broken Bells, too. That song is one of my very favourites, and I had resigned to the fact that I would never hear it live. I was so happy when I understood they were about to play it but didn't really believe it until I heard the first notes.

Unfortunately, I didn't catch a rose, but when the show ended, I saw that someone had thrown on the floor the broken stem of a rose. I felt a bit stupid, but I really didn't feel like leaving something that had been handed out so lovingly from Josh there on the floor to be stepped on and ruined. So I picked it up and brought it home together with a single white rose petal to remind me of the beautiful night of revelry they gifted us.

I have so much great footage of Jake shamelessly fucking destroying his guitar in front of twenty thousand people that maybe I'll post someday. Oh, and thanks to his slutty behaviour, my period came almost a week early. Thank you, Jacob.

Sorry for the rant.

Here, there are some pics I took.

#greta van fleet #scwt: bologna #sam kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #unipol arena #november 2023

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klbwriting · 30 days

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Our Strange Duet

Chapter 10 - Empty Chairs

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: violence

Summary: YN takes care of Maroni, Jason and Dick confront Bruce

Notes: sorry it took forever, its been a rough week! There is one more chapter after this so I hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch @amberpanda99

There's a grief that can't be spoken There's a pain goes on and on Empty chairs at empty tables Les Mis

Jason and Dick had gone out to confront Bruce. YN had said she would send the proof of Sal Maroni’s new drug and its effects to the GCPD, and she would, just after she did what needed done. Jason was so laser focused on Bruce’s betrayal that he wasn’t thinking about the fact that sending Maroni alive to the cops would probably make him talk, tell them he knew who Red Hood was, then word would spread and soon everyone would know. YN wouldn’t let that happen. She would protect Jason as much as she could. She couldn’t do anything if Two Face or Joker found out about him, but Maroni she could.

She steeled herself for the work that needed done, arriving to the alley entrance to the headquarters. She had worked there enough to know the back ways around the place, and she had been with Jason long enough to know how to spot the cameras and how to avoid them. She knew that if you entered Maroni’s office from a secret side door that the camera in the room wouldn’t activate. That camera was only for blackmail material, and the only people he would blackmail came through the front door. YN slinked to the desk chair and waited.

It didn’t take long, she had made sure that someone had seen her sneaking the back halls, paying him a hefty amount to tell no one but her father she was there, ever, so she wasn’t surprised when Maroni came into the office from the side entrance. He was irate, face already a deep shade of red as he approached his desk.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he demanded. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here after you took my data. You’re lucky I don’t have three guys in here popping you full of lead.” YN actually smiled a little, standing from the chair. She held up the revolver she had brought, aiming for his head.

“Yes, well, maybe you should have brought them,” she said. That had been the only real risk, that he wouldn’t come alone. She had banked on the fact that he saw her as weak, as a child who didn’t know how to take care of herself, who needed to sleep with a vigilante to be safe, and she was glad her gamble worked out. Maroni looked surprised to see the gun, but then he chuckled. “O, feeling tough now, are you?” he asked, moving around her to a bust by the window. He flipped it open and pressed a button. Nothing happened. He pressed it again.

“Sorry Sal, I cut the power to your little alarms,” she said. “You left me alone here too much, well, you left me alone my entire life so…” she shrugged, nodding to the desk chair. “There’s a needle with your drug in the drawer, inject yourself.”

“You’re nuts, I’m not doing that,” he said. He did sit at the desk and open the drawer though. He took out the needle and looked at it. “I don’t use my own supply, bad for business.”

“Well, curiosity is going to get the better of you this time. You’ll inject yourself and by the times the cops get here and see what you’ve done they’ll never believe you when you spout off about who Red Hood is. They’ll just think you’re hopped up on something,” she said. “Either that or you’ll be dead, shot with the very same gun you hide in that desk.” She held the gun into the light more so he could see that it was in fact his. “Up to you honestly. Get a little high before the cops bust down the door or be dead when they do it, which one?” She could see she was winning; Maroni was panicking. He looked from the gun to the needle and then finally to her eyes. Whatever he saw there must have terrified him because he picked up the needle and injected himself.

“You know, every day you were coming in here I was thinking how much you looked like your mother. But right now…right now you look like me. A killer, ruthless, heartless,” he said, sitting back. She could see the effects of the drug starting to wear him down, making him almost sleepy. She walked over and put the gun to his head.

“Your right dad, I am ruthless, I am heartless, and now, because of you, I have to be a killer. No one will ever hurt Jason again, least of all a lowlife fucking deadbeat like you,” she said softly before she pulled the trigger. She quickly placed the gun in his hand and bolted out the side door, rushing down the back halls of the building until she got to the ground floor. She ducked into the lab, finding the incinerator they normally used for burning toxic materials and grabbed the bag she had hidden there. She got changed and burned the bag with the old clothes. She checked herself again for blood before she left the facility out the alley door, driving back to the apartment and sending the data to the cops just as Dick and Jason had asked.

Since YN couldn’t be in the musical but was doing such a big part of the lifting with heading the music development for it the director arranged for her to have a small showcase after dress rehearsal. Everyone involved in the show would be there to celebrate her talents and she could invite anyone she wanted. She only really had two people to invite so she was pleased to see Dick and Barbara in the audience next to Jason.

She had already been in bed when Jason and Dick had returned home the night before from confronting Bruce and Jason had not been in the mood to talk about it that day. She had asked Dick about it, but he said it was something that Jason would have to tell her about. He needed time to process everything and once he was ready, they would all talk. She had been a little surprised that he had even gone to dress rehearsal, that he wasn’t burning rubber to get out of Gotham and hide, but the fact that he was there, having preformed amazingly at rehearsal and now was sitting there, focusing on her, made her so proud of him. He was such a good man and she hoped one day he would see that also.

“Hey everyone, um, thanks for coming to this, I know you’ve all been working hard on the show so the fact that you are taking this time to watch me is humbling, thank you,” she started before motioning for someone to join her on stage. “So, I have a few songs to play, all covers, I couldn’t write anything new while doing the music supervision, so I hope you don’t mind. The first song is with our very own Andre, Callum Bloom, and we will be preforming Exile by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver.”

Jason heard the song start, had heard her singing it to herself while she was preparing for this show. The first few lines were fine, Callum was fine, then the bridge hit and for some reason it sent Jason back to the night before, back to confronting Bruce in the manor. It had been the most emotional Jason had ever felt.

I think I’ve seen this film before And I didn’t like the ending You’re not my homeland anymore So who am I defending now? You were my town Now I’m in exile seeing you out I think I’ve seen this film before

“What are you doing here Jason?” Bruce asked as Dick stood off to the side. He was there to support Jason, but he knew that his brother wanted to do this on his own. He wasn’t the child Bruce knew anymore and he wanted to prover that.

“Sal Maroni? Ring a bell?” Jason asked. Bruce looked confused, looking to Dick, who just shook his head, nodding back to Jason.

“What are you talking about Jason?” he asked.

“You sold me out to Sal Maroni!” the younger man bellowed. Bruce stared. “He knows who I am, and he said I wasn’t the only who knew masks in this town. Well, the only person who knows Red Hood’s identity is you and Dick and I know he wouldn’t betray me like that. And up until last night I didn’t think you would either.” Bruce stood silent, staring at the person who once was his son. Jason stared right back at the man who he used to think of as a father. He realized now that Bruce had never been his father, his drill instructor, his warden, his creator maybe, but not his father. Dick had been more of a father to him in the last year and a half then Bruce ever had. This betrayal was just the nail in the coffin of his childhood and Jason was about tired of being in coffins.

“I did not do anything like that. I would never, not even after everything you did, I would never do that…”

“You’re right, he wouldn’t. But I would,” said another voice. They turned to the entrance of the room to see Tim Drake. He stood tall, looking arrogant, righteous in the firelight. Bruce’s jaw went slack as Jason’s eyes narrowed.

I can see you staring honey Like he’s just your understudy Like you’d get your knuckles blood for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancing on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

“Tim?” Bruce finally said, voice barely a whisper. Tim walked further into the room, sitting in one of the plush armchairs like he was the master of the house. He sat straight, eyes like a shark’s.

“We know all the criminals in this city. You said so yourself, criminals don’t get to hide behind masks and alter egos. The cops should know them, they should know each other, everyone should know them. Red Hood is a murderer, he is a criminal. You were too blinded by nostalgia to see that so I did what you couldn’t. Maroni was looking for information on him, so I gave it to him,” Tim explained. Bruce stared at him, and Jason could see him finally realize what he had created.

“Tim, Jason is family…” Bruce began.

“Jason Todd is a murderer, Bruce. And you said so yourself, killing is never the answer, no matter what happens. Joker killed Jason and he still walks this earth because you know the line, you drew it yourself. He walked past it and he no longer can be considered a hero, or even a vigilante, in this city. He is a killer,” Tim said. His voice never wavered. He wasn’t reconsidering his actions. He was right, Bruce was wrong. Bruce was going back on all his teachings and lessons to the boy, but Tim wasn’t going to falter in their black and white view of things. Bruce looked at Jason and then back at Tim.

“Did you tell anyone else?” Bruce asked.

“Not yet,” Time said. Bruce nodded. “If you would like to use it I have it all on the batcomputer, I can send it out to everyone whenever you’d like.” Bruce grabbed his phone.

“Alfred, wipe the batcomputer…yes, get rid of everything, including the backups. We’ve been compromised,” he said, voice breaking at the end there. He hung up and Tim stared, clearly confused. “I have failed all of you.”

So many signs, so many signs You didn’t even see the signs I think I’ve seen this film before So I’m leaving out the side door

Jason was pulled back to the auditorium when he heard applause. He clapped also, seeing YN looking right back at him. She smiled at him, and he forced a smile to his face as she continued her show. It was the final song, the one she hadn’t let him hear her rehearse.

“I know it’s corny to dedicate a song to someone you’re dating,” she said from the stage. “But I for one, love corny shit like that, so this one is for Jason, I love you and I always will. Now please enjoy my last song, One Bedroom by Yellowcard.” Jason actually did smile at this as she started playing the guitar and singing.

You’re the light from the moon tonight You’re the history I will write You’re the last stop and I arrive You’re the one for rest of time What good could I do in a life without you? What more could I lose than what I’ve found in you? The song was just fading out when Dick shook Jason’s arm and held out his phone. There was a police alert. Jason read the notification and then reread it.

Sal Maroni found dead from self-inflected gunshot wound in office

#jasontodd #jason todd #red hood #redhood #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #strangeduet

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thedrarrylibrarian · 10 months

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Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @candybarrnerd.

When @thedrarrylibrarian reached out to me with the proposal to discuss queerdom and fandom I was delighted.

The reason they did so was because a friend suggested me. A friend I had made through the HP fandom.

And I want to explain how emblematic that is of exactly what thedrarrylibrarian was asking me to do.

I'm friends with this person because of Drarry and Harry Potter fandom. Because of a fics we've written, because of a conversations we've had, because of mutual friends we share. We've had chats about children, about pets, about health issues, about gender, and many many more things I can't even think to list here. I've met this friend in person and heard about their offline life. I'm so privileged to know them and to call them a friend.

And they're not the only one! I've met friends in fandom who I've talked to about relationship issues, who I've met in person and shared meals with, who I've stayed with in their house! I've met friends who sent me flowers when a loved one died, who offered me money when I was broke, who gave me advice and who I've given advice, who saw something and not only bought it but spent the money to send it to me halfway around the world.

I am queer. And while I've always known that, but being in fandom helped me find my true queer self. In the fandom space I've found my true name, I've found my pronouns, I've found my gender. I've found other queer people to discuss queer life, from things we share, to things we don't!

Fandom is like a queer community. It'll support you when you need it, that you can find your people, that you might have differences, be separated by so many other things (and miles) but still find community.

Because of this community I have been gifted so much. I feel so lucky. I can't imagine who I would be without it. I don't want to.

And also fuck JKR. We are so much more than her.

I want to take this moment to encourage people to get involved in their community in and outside of fandom and to that end I just want to say the following:

Trans lives matter. Queer lives matter. We belong here and where we exist - which is everywhere! Remember it is us who will protect us. Also remember that your activism should start at the ballot box but shouldn't end there. Push your politicians to do better, and tell them when you're disappointed in their actions. I recommend writing letters if you have the time and are worried about other methods of showing up for the community.

And if you're feeling lonely, I believe you can always find community. Fandom is one place to start 💜

Thank you, Le, for joining me in the Library. It is an joy to hear your invitation to community and your rallying cry. I appreciate that you took the time to come and celebrate Pride in the Library with me.

If you want more @candybarrnerd, be sure to check out their work on AO3! I especially loved their the potential of broken things, which features newly bi Harry and content with life Draco. It's soft, it's hot, it's hopeful.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

#pride 2023 #pride in the library #pride in the library 2023 #lots of love and happy pride #friends of the library #fandom community #candybarrnerd #icarusinflight

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moonchildreads · 11 months

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small town

Chapter 14 - Missing You

IN THIS CHAPTER: The meaning of flowers, homemade cake, and Maureen and Margaret become friends [6.0k]

WARNINGS: angst, discussions about dead parents (car accident/unspecified terminal illness), survivor's guilt, unprocessed grief - please heed my warnings. i'm currently grieving someone and this is very raw, proceed only if it won't hurt you

A/N: shout out to @duquesademiel and @justahappycloud for teaching me that it is okay to write as a form of therapy, and i'm sorry i keep sending you the sad bits of this fic only. i love you and i can't believe i get to call you my friends. also, big thank you to @boomhauer for letting me use her chosen name for eddie's dad - i admire you greatly and everyone should go and read disjointed as a thank you. we're so very lucky we have you in this fandom <3

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

You had so much hope for a brighter day Why were you my flower plucked away?

Sunday, May 11th - 1986

“What on Earth are you doing?”

Mother’s Day had always been a weird day for Dottie. When she was a toddler, it was just another calm and quiet Sunday, albeit one where her Dad wanted more cuddles than usual, which, quite frankly, already were a lot. Still, she enjoyed the extra attention and he loved holding his little girl in his arms while she took a nap on his chest so there were no complaints to be heard from either side. When she was in kindergarten, her class spent an entire Friday making gifts for their Moms. Dottie came back home with a hopeful smile and gave her paper mache and macaroni flower to her Dad, asking if he could send it all the way up to Heaven for her. James had neer been happier about the fact that they now had separate bedrooms so she wouldn’t hear him sob clutching her handcraft to his chest while she slept. When she was around 8, she asked her Dad why couldn’t they simply celebrate Mother’s Day like everyone else in her class.

Margaret’s physical absence in her daughter’s life wasn’t an unusual topic in their home; in fact, a lot of teachers commented on it as Dottie grew up, praising James for keeping her memory alive and normalizing a sad situation so his kid wouldn’t suffer. James wasn’t sure why telling his daughter that she had been so very much loved by her dead parent was worthy of being praised, but as a single dad in the ‘70s, he took whatever kind words he could get. He made sure that Dottie understood she had a Mom, that she didn’t suddenly appear from thin air one day to change James’ life forever, that she’d been wanted and dreamed of by both parents. Margaret’s face was in countless pictures around their home, they stayed in her old bedroom whenever they visited her side of the family in Pennsylvania, they talked about what she’d say or what she’d do at all times. Margaret Burke was a constant presence in their lives despite her untimely death, and the fact that they celebrated that every day except during Mother’s Day didn’t feel right to her daughter.

That’s how Dottie found herself establishing little traditions that were still in place that Sunday afternoon when she opened her front door to find one of her best friends holding a small bouquet tied together with a big silver ribbon. Dressed in an all-black ensemble as he usually did, the lilac and white flowers sprinkled with greenery were the only pop of color in the foggy drizzly afternoon. Eddie was smiling wide despite the ugly weather, his dimples perfectly on display for the world to appreciate.

“Hey! This is for you,” Eddie thrust the flowers forward. “Actually, they are for your Mom but… yeah.”

“You bought my Mom flowers?” Dottie said, disbelief present in her tone as her fingers brushed against his chunky rings when she accepted the bouquet, skin bristling at the contact.

“Yeah, you like ‘em? The purple ones are rosemary and the white ones are, uh, bellflowers? The lady at the shop said there are, like, a million white flowers that look like bells so I picked the prettiest ones,” he dropped his backpack on the armchair in the living room and followed her to the kitchen.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you pick these?”

“Well, I kinda… borrowed your flower book?” he admitted, leaning on the kitchen island to watch her fill a glass vase and start arranging the flowers. “The one you and Jeff were talking about at lunch? It’s in my bag.”

“Wait, what? When did you grab it? I didn’t even notice it was gone.”

“Yesterday, when you left me alone in your room to go get snacks. D’you have any more of those strawberries? They were so good.”

“Yes, but you can’t eat them. We need them for the cake,” Dottie cut a few long stems until she was happy with how her vase looked and tied the silver ribbon that the bouquet had been bound with around the glass. “So if you stole my book, what do these mean?”

“I didn’t steal it, I was gonna give it back!” he said, faking being offended at her accusation before he dropped the act and stared down at his hands. “The, um- the rosemary is remembrance. The bell flowers are gratitude.”

“Gratitude? For my Mom?” she searched for his eyes with her own but he kept looking at his rings.

“Just wanted to thank her, y’know,” he looked up at her after a pause. “For giving me you.”

“Shit, Ed, you can’t say things like that without a warning, you’re gonna make me cry!” she fanned her face with her hand, voice playful but eyes full of very real tears. “Thank you, you’re… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiled shyly, reaching across the island to grab a flower out of the vase and bump her nose with it.

She giggled, taking the long stem from his fingers and setting it behind her right ear before turning around towards the counter where baking supplies were neatly laid out. She picked up two envelopes: one was the now familiar soft pink rectangle she had been carrying in her backpack all week but the other one was unassuming plain white. She slid the white one across the ceramic countertop; Eddie opened it to find a Garfield themed Mother’s Day card, the orange cat grinning on the front of the glossy paper. A pen entered his line of vision and he looked up to see Dottie nervously staring at him.

“I got you your own card,” she explained, clicking the pen and offering it to him. “Thought maybe you’d like to join my little ritual later.”

“Ritual?”

“I write down the things I want to say to my Mom and then I burn the card. It’s dumb, you know I don’t really believe in, like, the afterlife or whatever but… Dunno. Feels like the words reach her if I burn it.”

“No, I get it,” he reassured her. “So I can write whatever I want?”

“Yeah! I mostly just update mine on how everything’s going. About my Dad, and school, stuff like that. Like leaving a message on her answering machine.”

“Okay, I can do that,” he smiled. “I’ll join your ritual.”

“Yeah? Okay, cool! I’ll… I’ll get started on the cake while you do that then.”

Happy to have a task to focus on instead of staring at him for an hour, Dottie opened a bottom drawer and took out a dark green apron with a tiny lemon pattern, quickly tying it behind her back with a thin bow. Eddie watched her move around her kitchen with ease, measuring ingredients and lining up a cake pan with parchment paper like she’d done it a thousand times. He supposed she’d had; kids with hard childhoods always knew their way around ovens and knives. It was simply a matter of survival: sometimes you were hungry and there weren’t any adults around even if the grownups in your life weren’t neglectful, like Wayne or James. Eddie looked down at Garfield’s large face printed on the paper and began spilling everything that was rattling inside his brain through his pen. He wrote, and wrote, and wrote until the left side of the opened card was full and had no more space to write on, so he continued writing on the backside.

He told his Mom about Wayne while Dottie mixed flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt. He promised her he’d graduate this year while hearing the sounds of two eggs being cracked, the overwhelming sweetness of vanilla extract filling the air. He confided that he didn’t feel as lonely as before anymore, that he thought he finally had great friends, a club that looked up to him, a band that made him proud. He asked her not to worry about him anymore when Dottie poured the batter into a round pan and offered him the spoon to lick. And thus, Eddie wrote to her Mom about the girl he had a growing crush on, how he felt like he didn’t have to hide anything from her because she understood him in ways that other people had never understood, and how desperately he hoped she would look at him in the same way he saw her. If he had lifted his head up when he was putting the card back into the envelope, he would have seen Dottie sneaking glances at him while she cut strawberries and realized that he didn’t have to hope for anything anymore; Dottie already looked at him with stars in her eyes even if he didn’t think he was worthy of it yet.

With the cake baking in the oven for the next 30 minutes, all the strawberries cut in half, and the homemade jam finishing its 48 hour setting period in the fridge, both teens sat down on cushy stools at the kitchen island to finish the half-done homework they had abandoned on Saturday after it got dark. They could hear James pottering about upstairs, cleaning the bathroom while listening to the radio. He was singing along to West End Girls by the Pet Shop Boys - “the latest #1 on the Billboard Hot 100” the announcer had said. James didn’t really like the Pet Shop Boys, but he had heard it so much on the radio during the last couple of months that he couldn’t be blamed for knowing the lyrics by heart at that point.

“You done?” Eddie asked, gathering his stuff and shoving everything into his backpack.

“Yeah- yeah, I’m done,” Dottie said, moving to clear her stuff too. “Cake should be done in five, I think.”

“What’s next?”

“Wanna whip the cream while I do the glaze?”

“Sure. You’re gonna have to guide me though,” his face lit up in a mischievous smile. “And I’m gonna need one of those cute little aprons you’ve been hiding from me too.”

“You get plain dark blue,” she said, going through the drawer. “Or… I can offer you a “Kiss the Cook” apron with a big red heart on it?”

“Princess, you already know which one I want,” he batted his eyelashes at her. “Besides, it matches my scrunchie!”

Dottie tried to contain her giggles with no success when he tied his hair up into a bun with the red scrunchie that had found permanent residence in the depths of her empty fruit bowl, twirling around to show off his new hairdo. He bowed his head so she could slip the apron around his neck, leaving the tying up to him and fetching the ingredients for their next tasks. She separated them into two small piles, his ingredients to the right, hers to the left.

“To make whipped cream you put heavy cream in this,” she slid a bowl in front of him. “And you use the mixer to whisk it until it gets a bit bubbly. Then, you add the sugar and the vanilla extract, and you mix until it’s not runny anymore.”

“How much of everything?” he asked, pushing his sleeves to his elbows.

“One tablespoon of sugar and one teaspoon of vanilla extract.”

“The tablespoon is the big one, right?”

“Yes, chef,” she said, juicing a lemon for her glaze.

They worked together in relative silence, the loud sounds of the mixer drowning any words they could say. Eddie found out that he could draw on the cream when it got a bit more stiff, and quickly proceeded to spend the next few minutes drawing penis shape after penis shape into the mixture. He thought it was hilarious until Dottie unplugged the electric appliance, shaking her head at his antics. He got the cake out of the oven while she finished up her glaze, concentrating on not burning her concoction heating up on the stovetop.

“Do you always bake a cake for Mother’s Day?”

“Pretty much, yeah. It was my Mom’s favorite cake, it’s her recipe, so... Dunno, it feels nice. And I get to eat cake in the end so everything works out.”

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone make lemon glaze since I lived with my Grandma for three months,” he said, fanning the cake with a takeaway menu to cool it down.

“That sounds fun. How old were you?”

“Eight. Stayed with her the whole summer. She made awful lemon bars, I mean that shit tasted like fuckin’ cardboard,” Dottie snorted at his horrified expression. “But she made the best apple pie I’ve ever had. I think I gained like 10 pounds that summer.”

“Just from apple pie?” she asked, adding the last bit of the lemon juice to the pot.

“And ice cream,” he smiled. “Best summer of my life.”

“Eddie?” she said softly. “Can I ask you something kind of personal?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“How old were you when you moved in with Wayne?”

“After that summer. Actually,” he snorted bitterly. “The only reason I got to stay with my Grandma all those months was because my Dad got himself locked up and didn’t think it was important to mention he had a kid.”

“What?”

“They found out I existed when the school year started. A teacher asked me about my summer and called Social Services. When they came to see me, they said my Grandma was too old to raise me, so Wayne asked for custody. Been living with him since then.”

“What happened to your Dad?” she turned off the heat and turned to look at him.

“He’s still in prison. Won’t get out until I’m in my thirties as far as I know. He’s an asshole so… I don’t really care about him, and Wayne doesn’t either. Never went to visit him. Shit, I don’t think he even knows where they’ve got him, and that’s his little brother.”

“I mean, you just said he was an asshole so…”

“Yeah, I did,” he let out a wry chuckle.

“What’s his name? It isn’t Edward, right?”

“No, my Mom chose Edward. His name’s Wyatt.”

“Ah, that sucks,” she shook her head, moving past him to cut the cake in half to start assembling. He looked at her questioningly. “Wayne and Wyatt? ‘Cause you like alliteration?”

“Doesn’t ruin it for me. Actually, you might like this - you know what other two names start with the same letter?” he leaned onto the counter next to her. She was still wearing a sprig of rosemary in her hair.

“Bilbo and Baggins?” she joked.

“Maureen and Margaret.”

Dottie stopped cutting, knife halfway into the soft vanilla sponge, and stared at him. Eddie was looking at the two envelopes laying side by side next to the flower vase, right hand twirling the rings on his left hand. She remembered a conversation she’d had with Ms. Kelly early on in February after the excitement of being the new kid had died down and everyone had forgotten about her, going back to their cliques and usual groups of friends without sparing a single glance at her. If you want others to open up to you, you have to be open with them too, Ms. Kelly had said, in that gentle voice she always talked to troubled students with.

As much as Eddie wore his heart on his sleeve, he wasn’t keen on talking about his past. He rarely offered up pieces of important information about his childhood, choosing to only share the inconsequential parts instead. Everything else was locked up tight in his chest, just like Dottie did with her deepest memories. She wondered if the reason he was being candid with her now was because she’d let him peek behind her curtains first on Friday night at Lover’s Lake. A key exchanged for a key.

“Your mom’s name was Maureen?” Dottie asked, resuming her cutting.

“Yeah. Wayne says everyone called her Mo.”

“That’s a pretty name,” she smiled. “Mo and Maggie. Maybe they would’ve been friends.”

“Yeah. That would’ve been nice. We could have introduced them.”

“I don’t know if I’d be in Hawkins if my Mom was still here, though,” she said, sliding a big spatula under the first layer of cake to move it to a different plate. “Don’t think we would have moved out of New York.”

“Dunno if I’d be here either,” Eddie admitted, watching her spread the whipped cream he had made on the cake. “My Mom wasn’t from Hawkins. I don’t really know where she was from, I asked but Wayne doesn’t know either so… Said she didn’t like talking about it ‘cause her parents kicked her out when they found out she was pregnant.”

“That’s actually so wretched.”

“I know, right? Like, I know my Dad was always a fucking asshole but it wasn’t her fault, she was barely 17.”

“How did she meet your Dad then? If she wasn’t from Hawkins.”

“As far as I know, she worked at a diner my Dad stopped at on his route. Wayne got him a job as a trucker when he turned 18. So he met my Mom there, dated her for like, three months at the most, and then I showed up to ruin everything,” Dottie scoffed at him but he continued. “She dropped out of high school, he brought her to Hawkins and I was born here. They got married when she turned 18 a few months later. Actually, my Grandma kinda forced them to get married. She really liked my Mom and didn’t want people to treat her like shit ‘cause she had a bastard child.”

“God, people sucked back then.”

“It was the ‘60s, The Beatles were the biggest band in the world, everything sucked back then.”

“Say that again and I’ll kill you in your sleep,” she deadpanned and he let out a huge snort, enjoying how easy it was to rile her up. “You were saying, though.”

“Nah, it’s just… If they were married, it didn’t look like I was an unhappy accident, y’know?” Eddie got a bit more serious. “Anyway, Wyatt didn’t really want to be a dad. He would get in his truck and leave for days, and then when he came back he treated my Mom like shit. I don’t remember much but my Grandma told me once that he used to hit her a lot. I mean, I was his own personal punching bag so that shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does but still.”

“Jesus Christ,” she breathed out.

“It’s been ages since I’ve seen him and my Mom died when I was three, that’s why I don’t really remember anything,” he said, but he did. He remembered everything about Wyatt Munson; every hit, every insult, every scream. He cleared his throat. “After that, my Dad quit his job and started working at Brimborn before it closed down.”

“Brimborn… That’s the abandoned warehouse on Cherry Lane, right?”

“Cherry Oak Drive.”

“There’s like three different roads with “cherry” in their names in Hawkins, it’s so dumb.”

“Nobody said we were very original around here,” he chuckled.

Dottie moved around the kitchen to go find the strawberry jam she’d made a few days prior and found him still staring at the cards when she turned. He wasn’t crying at the memories, he didn’t even look sad. Just… resigned. Like he’d gotten used to things being shit all the time so it was a waste of time to get upset about them anymore. She left the jar on the counter and wrapped her arms around Eddie’s waist, her chest colliding with his back, her face buried between his shoulder blades.

“I’m so happy Wayne was there for you. He’s a great man.”

“Yeah,” he said, voice uncharacteristically soft, hands curling around hers. “Sometimes… sometimes I used to wish he was my real Dad, y’know?”

“He is.”

They stayed like that in the middle of Dottie’s kitchen, a million different things running through their heads: the dead mothers that shared the first letter of their names, the men that had raised them, and the people who had cared for them along the way. There was love to be found here in this kitchen, they both knew it. Only time would tell what it could turn into - what it would turn into - but for now, this friendship that only seemed to grow stronger every day was more than they had dreamed of when they first met in that dark props room thanks to the one and only Dustin Henderson. Maybe a Thank You note was in order.

Eddie thought it was very fitting that there wasn’t a bit of sunshine to be found as they stepped out into the backyard to begin what Dottie kept calling her “little ritual”. He held their envelopes carefully, one on each hand, while he watched her shove bits of craft paper and small branches into an empty bucket of paint, a box of matches resting on the floor next to her sneakers. She grabbed one and lit it on fire, throwing it into the can that had been scrubbed clean of any traces of paint ages ago and was now used as a regular bucket of water to douse the embers whenever James felt like using the grill. Wordlessly, she took her envelope from him and knelt in front of the can with her eyes closed, pressing the paper to her chest for a few seconds before lifting it up to her lips for a quick kiss, letting it fall onto the flames. She watched how the fire consumed her written words for a moment and went back to stand next to her friend.

She didn’t give him any indications as to what to do, simply choosing to let her hands fall in front of her, right hand twirling the ring on her left middle finger, eyes never leaving the flames. Eddie took her solemn silence as permission to approach the metallic can, kneeling on one knee and dropping his card inside. It was a strange feeling, he reckoned, to be sharing such an intimate and private moment with Dottie, and yet knowing that his words would never be read by her or any other person. Whatever he’d said in his letter was between him and the wind that he hoped would reach his Mom’s ears. I guess that’s the point of the ritual, he thought, moving back to his spot next to the pensive girl.

“It’s my fault,” she mumbled, gaze still stuck to the orange dancing in front of them and yet so far away from what she was actually seeing. “It’s my fault she’s dead.”

He turned to look at her, eyebrows meeting in the middle. Eddie had never seen her look so defeated. He wondered how he’d never noticed it before: the weight of the guilt she was carrying on her shoulders, the deep seated shame in the pit of her stomach that felt all too familiar to him, the vacant space within her eyes. It was like looking into a mirror that he’d been trying to ignore for so long. He reached out to her, his right hand wrapping around her left, rings brushing against each other’s, and squeezed tightly.

“She knew she was sick while she was pregnant and delayed her treatment for me. I killed her.”

“Dot, you know that’s not right.”

“Isn’t it? She knew it was me or her, and she chose me,” she held on tighter to his hand. “Sometimes… god, sometimes I wish she’d chosen herself instead. And it’s not that I want to be dead, I swear it’s not about that, but… it wasn’t fair. Not to her, not to my Dad. And it wasn’t fair to me either.”

“It’s my fault my Mom’s dead,” Eddie said, moving his fingers to intertwine with hers. She turned to him, both sets of wet brown eyes finding each others’ in the backyard. “It was the last day of preschool before the Winter holidays and I wanted pizza, so she went out to go get it. A drunk guy ran her over. She never saw it coming. My Dad wasn’t even in town. She died alone on the side of the road and with a fucking 2x1 pizza coupon in her coat pocket.”

“Eddie, you couldn’t have known. That wasn’t your fault-”

“It wasn’t yours either but you’re still gonna blame yourself for the rest of your life, aren’t you?” his lower lip trembled and they both squeezed tighter. The skin stretching over their knuckles was as white as the bellflowers in the kitchen. “They were adults, they made their own choices but you’re always gonna think about what you could have done differently, even if you didn’t know how to wipe your own ass yet.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted. “That drunk asshole should be to blame, not you.”

“It wasn’t your fault either,” he said, matching her intensity. “You didn’t make her sick, that just happens sometimes and it’s no one’s fault.”

“It is! It’s my fault she didn’t get the treatment she should have gotten!”

“And it’s my fault my Mom was out there that night because I wanted pizza,” he lifted the hand that wasn’t holding onto hers and cupped the side of her face, thumb brushing away an angry tear. “If you’re not gonna stop blaming yourself, then I won’t stop either. You can’t have it both ways, Dot. Either we both move on, or we stay here together because fuck if I know who else to talk about this shit with.”

“It’s not fair,” she pouted, head falling forward until it hit his chest, his hand sliding into her hair.

“No, it’s not,” he agreed, taking a deep breath.

There was nothing else to be said, nothing left to clarify or explain. There were no words to soothe the pain, because it was so embedded into who they were as people that no amount of comfort would ever patch up the wounds that had healed badly and left deep scars that would never completely disappear. Margaret and Maureen were no longer there, and Eddie and Dottie had to move on. They weren’t sure how, and by God if they hadn’t tried to do so all these years, but it felt a lot easier to forgive yourself when someone else was walking down that road with you.

Dottie sobbed quietly against Eddie’s chest, head bowed with his right hand tangling into her curls, cupping the back of her head. Eddie let his own tears fall, his cheek pressed onto her crown, thumb brushing the exposed skin behind her ear. In the silence filled with paper and wood crackling inside the paint bucket, they thought about how much they longed for something they couldn’t even remember having, and how their rusty padlocks were starting to fall limp at their feet. How even when their brains were miles away from their bodies, they still anchored each other down, hearts beating in sync and hands holding hands, Eddie’s thick mood ring on his right hand clashing against Dottie’s only dainty band; her Mom’s engagement ring glinting on her left middle finger.

Suddenly, she startled him by laughing softly through her tears, bringing their joined hands between their chests. He peered at her face curiously, waiting for her to speak.

“She would have fucking loved you,” she said, looking up at him with a big smile and shining eyes.

“Yeah?” he smiled back.

“I told my Auntie Rachel about you, and she said that she wants to meet you. That you remind her of my Mom.”

“I do?”

“It’s because she was the glue. She was the one that introduced everyone in the group, they are all friends because of her. And that’s what you do for us with Hellfire. You’re our glue.”

“You know,” he stopped his sentence to chuckle. “Wayne said something like that about you too.”

“Yeah?”

“He said that you boss me around like my Mom did with him,” he laughed. “And that you always tidy up his coffee table like she did.”

“That’s so embarrassing,” she laughed with him.

“I think Wayne likes you more than he likes me,” he whispered conspiratorially. “But I know my Mom would have loved you too.”

“Eddie? If I wanted to get a tattoo to honor my Mom-”

“I’m taking you to get it when you turn 21. It’ll be your birthday present, I promise. Just… wait until you’re 21 so I can take you to a nice shop, because mine look really awesome but it’s honestly a miracle I’m not dead,” she snorted loudly. “I’m serious! I don’t think the guy washed his hands since he came back from Vietnam.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll wait. But you gotta promise we’ll still be friends in three years.”

“Oh, princess, I’m a ride or die. No getting rid of me now, sorry.”

“Good. Didn’t want to get rid of you anyways.”

While Dottie was inside setting up the TV to watch The Wizard of Oz, Eddie excused himself to the backyard for a smoke. He ran through everything that had happened between them that week, starting with their argument about his moldy ceiling all the way until the last ten minutes when she was still buried in his arms. Being vulnerable wasn’t something that came easy to Eddie; he was way too used to covering everything up in leather and sarcasm, but now that he’d started shedding the layers, it was surprisingly liberating to keep going, especially when he kept being rewarded by Dottie letting down her barriers too. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize James had slipped out into the backyard too and was walking towards him, glancing at the pile of ashes at the bottom of the metallic can.

“She got you to join her ritual?” James asked, coming to a stop next to the younger man who was smoking under the patio roof.

“It was interesting. I enjoyed it,” he said, the right corner of his lips twitching upwards into a soft smile. He offered his pack of cigs to James, who shook his head, hands in his pockets.

“No, thank you. Haven’t smoked in years.”

“I should probably stop smoking but it’s hard when my Uncle does it too.”

“I know what you mean, my parents are smokers,” James said, nodding. “I only stopped because Maggie got pregnant and she hated the smell on my clothes. Said it made her want to throw up.”

“Dot hates it too,” Eddie chuckled. “She’s always wrinkling her nose when we smoke near her.”

“She does it to my mother too, don’t take it personal.”

Eddie didn’t really know what else to say so he stayed quiet, busying himself with his cigarette. He knew Dottie hated the fact that he and Donny smoked, but despite that, she’d never told them to not do it. Instead, she moved around them to stand next to Gareth or Jeff, away from the wind that blew the smoke into her space until they were done indulging in their vices. She had never complained about the smell either; the only time they’d heard her say anything negative about it was when she said that her Grandma liked smoking inside her kitchen while sitting next to an opened window and that the smoke made her cough, so Eddie tried not to smoke in the van when he was driving her around. He tapped the butt to the sole of his boot and saved it in the little cardboard box, fully intending on throwing it in the trash when he came back inside when James cleared his throat.

“Eddie, do you mind if we have a talk? Man to man,” he said, his tone friendly but firm.

“Y-yeah, of course. Is there a problem, sir?” Eddie’s palms were sweating. He had seen this coming but didn’t think it would happen so soon.

“No, actually I wanted to thank you,” James began. “Dottie told me what you did for her on Friday, that was… very thoughtful of you.”

“Oh,” he was surprised. “I… You don’t have to thank me. I don’t know if she told you but… I haven’t been a very good friend lately and I wanted to apologize to her. That’s all.”

“Well, either way, thank you. Proms and school dances are… a touchy subject for her, you know? Not a lot of good memories. Just- thank you for making her senior prom special.”

“Of course,” Eddie said, scratching the skin under his watch. “We’ll make sure she has a good prom. And if- if you want us to bring her back at, like, a certain hour, we- we can totally do that too. We’ll look out for her.”

“I know,” the older man smiled at him, noticing how nervous he looked. Eddie might be almost 20 but he was still a little boy trying to impress the father of the girl he liked; James supposed he’d looked the same when he’d started dating Maggie. “You’re good kids, all of you. And Dottie’s never really had good friends before so… if she’s happy, I’m happy.”

“I’m glad. That’s she’s happy, I mean,” he hurried to say. “Not that she had bad friends before. That part sucks, she’s… she’s great and I’m glad I- glad we got to meet her and… stuff.”

“You all mean a lot to her, but you… You’re very important to her. You know that, don’t you, Eddie?” James said, and Eddie felt very much like he was being tested.

“She’s important to me too, sir.”

James smiled, satisfied with the boy’s answer. He understood now the glee his father-in-law felt whenever he made him squirm, it was very enjoyable. It was in good faith though, Roger had never outright disrespected him, and James didn’t intend on doing it to Eddie either, but he supposed it was his God given right to mess with the kid a little bit as the father of a teenage daughter. Maybe one day Eddie would understand it too.

“Everything alright?” Dottie said, popping her head out of the kitchen backdoor and looking at the two men standing on the grass with curiosity.

“Yeah, just two guys having a manly talk. You know, about sports and stuff,” James said.

“You only watch sports when the Olympics are on.”

“I also watch the Super Bowl,” he argued.

“You never watch the rest of the season, what’s the point?”

“It’s fun,” he said, turning to Eddie. “Right, Ed?”

“Only reason I watch is because Wayne makes the best spicy wings in Hawkins,” he grinned. “Sorry, sir.”

“You two are missing out,” James shook his head, jesting. “Gonna watch The Wizard of Oz?”

“Yeah, wanna join?”

“Nah, I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. I’ll take a piece of cake though.”

Later that day, when they were hanging out on the couch stuffing their faces full with vanilla sponge and strawberry jam while watching Judy Garland and her merry gang of new friends walk down the yellow brick road, Dottie eyed Eddie suspiciously until he turned to her, whipped cream staining his upper lip.

“Okay, spill.”

“Wha’?” he asked, cheeks full of cake.

“What were you and my Dad talking about outside?”

“Manly stuff,” he swallowed quickly. “Can’t tell you. If you knew, I’d have to kill you, it’s the law.”

“You’re such an idiot,” she giggled, stealing a strawberry from his plate.

He gasped in horror but still let her do it, because she was important to him and he’d do anything to keep that smile on her face, including tearing down the walls he’d carefully built around himself all throughout his life. And hopefully, by shedding that weight, she’d be able to get rid of hers too, and Mo and Maggie could be proud of them for finally moving on.

taglist (comment below or shoot me a dm if you want to be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean

#bunny writes #small town fic #eddie munson x female character #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson #eddie munson x ofc #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #stranger things 4 #joseph quinn #baby's first fic

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flythesail · 9 months

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Hi! I just wanted to say thanks for all the positivity and good vibes you've brought to the Nancy Drew fandom 🫶 you're the blog I check after an episode airs because going on the tag is sometimes like getting whiplash 😪 it's so refreshing to see the genuine love you have for the show and the faith you have in the writers! These next few weeks are gonna be hectic and I can't wait for all the plot twists and revelations but I also can't believe the show is nearly over! It'll definitely be bittersweet 🥰😭 sending you love and strength for the last episodes 💜💜💜

Hi!! Glad to know that and sending it right back to you! 💕💕

It's the last episodes of the last season of my favorite show so I want to enjoy it as much as I can! I think a lot of the disappointment has to be we're running out of time for a lot of (nace) things to happen. I want nace too so I get that.

But I love this show for many reasons and the writers have always come through in the end. Three more to go and with how crazy these theories have been I'm SO excited to see what has actually been written.

It really is bittersweet! I always have to come back to how lucky we are to get a real ending. As much as ND being canceled was the worst day ever, I have to be glad it happened before they wrapped! S4 took so long to premiere so it was lucky they found out in time. These characters are going to get the endings they deserve and that means a lot to me.

#flytheask

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apparently-artless · 14 days

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oh my god WAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH ART!!!! the gifset is SO so so beautiful you have no idea!!!!!!!!! i cannot stop watching it over and over again. the colours are absolutely perfect, and the gif transitions are so smooth!!!!!! i'm so so happy aaaaa i can't believe something so beautiful was made for my request 😭😭😭 i really appreciate it, thank you soo much!!!! the bokuyaba fandom is truly lucky to have you in it, your edits are always so spectacular and i always enjoy looking at them. im so glad you had fun making it too!!!! thanks a million and i hope you have a wonderful day, week, month and year <333 !!!!!!!! 💛💛💛

hi, willow!! thank you so much for sending me another message to let me know of your thoughts!! this message really made me happy. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

i also noticed that you pinned my post on your blog, i was practically blushing when i saw the label on top. (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

in all honesty, i was very aware of the scene that you were referring to when i saw your request. i was also thinking of making a set for that scene but it got buried in all the current series i am watching. the scene itself was already beautiful and to be honest i am not good at scenes with sunset gradient. and i guess that's another reason why i didn't made this set until you requested it. and so i took it both as a challenge and an opportunity. who knows, i might end up gif-baiting other people to watch it?? lol

and yes!! i did have fun making the set. i had to combine some gradients with different blending modes and i had to manipulate the level adjustment layer a lot for each gif. i was very concerned that i might end up ruining an already beautiful scene so i tried not to deviate too much from the original colors but at the same time still incorporate my own coloring style.

i hope you don't mind me putting the comparison of the original vs my coloring. this is just to show you how much i had fun making this edit. i am also very satisfied with the result if i do say so myself. hehehe. ^^

anyways, it doesn't matter if other people don't appreciate it as long as the person who requested the set liked it, is what i thought. so i'm very happy when i saw your message and your tags in the post when you reblogged it.

bokuyaba is a dark horse anime series for me. it's something i watched simply because i wanted to explore different genre every season. i was thinking of dropping it after 1-2 episodes but i'm glad that i didn't. i am not an avid fan of romance, especially if the main characters are young but this series has something special to offer. it's one of my favourite romance anime now with school setting.

SO TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DROPPED THIS ANIME, GIVE IT A TRY AGAIN. AND THEN SCREAM AT ME IN MY INBOX FOR WASTING YOUR TIME IF YOU STILL WOULD NOT LIKE IT AFTER WATCHING AT LEAST THE FIRST SEASON. XD

#art answers #reply #boku no kokoro no yabai yatsu #bokuyaba #artsrecs #sorry for the long reply ^^#it's the first time i am interacting to someone here on tumblr who loves bokuyaba as well

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creations-of-a-certain-no-one · 1 year

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Devil Hold'em

Fandom: Obey Me!

Character: Lucifer, Mammon, Ren (MC / OC)

Content warnings: gambling

Summary: Lucifer was notified that Mammon took Ren, the human exchange student, to a casino. To prevent the disaster, he immediately headed to the scene only to find…

Also I can't believe that I actually finished it after almost three years.

[I just saw Mammon dragging Ren into a casuno I ghought you should know]

Lucifer frowned at the message. He wasn’t expecting Simeon to report to him on that. They barely exchanged a few written words since the exchange programme started – it wasn’t a long time indeed, but still, slightly surprising. On the second thought though, if the avatar of greed himself was trying to get an innocent lamb into gambling, that’d probably indeed be something to demand immediate action upon, in an angel’s eyes.

In his own demon eyes as well, considering the possible repercussions.

[Tell me which one.]

Lucifer typed back and left the music shop, already annoyed at both his brother and the human. Whichever casino it was, most of them were away from a respectable place like the music shop, so he headed towards the district where Mammon usually went to gamble.

It took him a bit of time to locate the exact location, and probably enough for Mammon to gamble away the human’s allowance entirely. Simeon wasn’t very familiar with the town yet, so could only give him very vague coordinates, but it was enough to narrow down the number of casinos and find the right one eventually.

The staff already figured out it would be happening, so they let him in without much hassle and showed the table where Mammon and Ren were supposed to be. And there, indeed, he spotted the two of them easily – Mammon’s by his white mane, Ren – by the black and red, both messy like if they didn’t know of the existence of combs.

He immediately headed towards them.

The view he found at the table was mostly exactly what he predicted. Mammon was sobbing in his chair, slumped over the table with no credits or cards left. So he spent all of his – and definitely some of not his – money and lost it all, as usual. A disgrace and a bad example for the human, definitely. Or so Lucifer thought, until he actually took a better look over the table.

What Lucifer certainly did not expect, was the human hoarding almost all chips that must have had belonged to other players – and the stash barely fitting on his side of the table. He probably couldn’t even see the community cards in the middle anymore.

But Lucifer did. And had to admit that if someone landed the two cards missing for a straight flush, they’d clearly be set for the win.

Ren was sitting at the table with a dumb smile, like someone who didn’t have a clue what they were doing and just got a hand so good they can’t contain the excitement. He stared at his cards with his grey eyes wide and innocent, and with an expression devoid of any signs of thinking.

He must have landed the flush, his happy face was saying everything you’d need to know that this oblivious innocent thing was on his lucky streak.

He raised the bet.

Maybe someone would check or raise too, but other players were almost entirely out of their chips, and out of patience as well.

“Beginner’s luck”, mumbled some exasperated demon, folding his cards finally and leaving the table with the few last chips he still had. The last demon standing followed the suit and left, clicking his tongue and casting such a glare that definitely meant trouble later. But as vengeful as the demon might ever become, if the fight was not poker, Mammon would be strong enough to ensure the human’s safety – any of his brothers actually would.

Ren however seemed completely undisturbed by the hostile display.

At this point, Lucifer either didn’t particularly care about the situation anymore. The only thing of any importance was that Ren was secured and that the incident didn’t cause a dent in the exchange programme’s financing.

“Phew.” Ren looked up at Lucifer. His eyes, up to this point completely thoughtless, were suddenly sparkling with mischief. “That was close.”

He put down his cards, so miserably weak that they that couldn’t even give him a pair with the community cards of this round.

“We’re heading home then?”, he asked, innocently as if he didn’t just con some demons that thought that a wide-eyed human would be an easy win.

His high spirits rubbed Lucifer a wrong way, but if the incident was resolved, there was no point addressing it any further.

“Yes.” That’s all that Lucifer had to spare him. The boy probably still sensed his irritation – his movements showed a bit of nervousness as he tried to collect all the chips into a bag much smaller than it should be for the stash.

“Come on, lucky charm. Help me collect all of this.” Ren poked Mammon’s shoulder.

“Collect it yourself”, the demon grumbled.

“Should I just take your share for myself then?”

Mammon immediately stopped crying.

“I get a share?”

Upon getting a nod, Mammon resumed sobbing, this time out of happiness, but obediently helped to bring all the chips to the exchange.

After they left the casino, Lucifer sent Mammon away – not without the latter’s protests. Those were however cut short and Mammon immediately evacuated, once Lucifer started lecturing Ren on the dangers of gambling. Unfortunately, the boy listened to him with the same blank, vacant expression that his brothers did and Lucifer really wanted to string him up from the ceiling like he’d normally punish his brothers. But at least Ren did listen – whenever Lucifer demanded him to repeat something, the boy more or less knew what he was talking about. More or less.

“…and this is why I hope I will not see you in such establishments again,” Lucifer finally concluded, just in front of the gate of the House of Lamentation.

“You know that it can be difficult with Mammon as my guardian,” Ren refuted, but his tone seemed like he was purely stating a fact and not arguing a point. “And anyway… Mammon brings luck, doesn’t he?”

“You did seem lucky today, indeed.“

“Yeah. I mean, I did play with him the whole afternoon. It’d be hard not to notice. It’s not just a rumour, is it?”

“If you know of the rumour, then you should know what happens to the luck later.”

He pondered for a moment.

“It should be sufficient to prevent big losses though.” He shrugged. “The luck running out shouldn’t be much of a problem, if he just gets back what he lost.”

“It is not negotiable. I do not wish to see you gambling again.”

“Fiiine.” Ren sighed. “We’ll make sure to avoid you better next time.”

And then he darted towards the house.

That little…!

Well, at least it didn’t cause yet another bill coming to the House of Lamentation.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me lucifer #obey me fanfiction #om! oc ren #ren the avatar of disappointment #obey me male mc #no one writes #no one creates

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feuxx · 1 year

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My "Great things that happened in 2022" list

(in no particular order)

Rejoined tumblr

Still can't believe I'm moots with so many incredible talented people in here what the hell ;w; <3

FINALLY managed to make friends in the merlin fandom (❤️)

Participated in ACBB !!!!!!!!! (THE MOST ICONIC FEST OF ALL TIME)

Had the honor of working with Slantedknitting, one of my most admired writers (❤️)

Passed one (if not the one) of the most important exams in my life

Received SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT from you all (💖💖💖)

Still can't fathom it when people say that my art is unique and recognizable and that they love it 😭❤️❤️❤️

Gayble 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Failed to get a bingo but had a grand time with the Merlin bingo fest 🤣

Participated in a DTIYS and had so much fun with it!!!

Grieved with yall about the 10th anniversary of the finale: we were mourning but we were mourning together 😭❤️

A little word to people who have made my 2022 memorable under the cut (in no particular order)

@lauradonnelly : My beloved tas, I can't stress how lovely and important you were to me. I'm not a great conversationalist and I felt bad that our conversations were not great as I was also very shy and not good at keeping a conversation flowing. But that you took the effort to welcome me when I joined tumblr, to dm me and send me messages!! Even though you were so busy with your irl things!!! I wouldn't have so much fun making and keeping a tumblr if it weren't for you. Thank you!!!! <3

@coffee-writes : Cofffeeeeeee 😭❤️😭❤️😭 Words fail me to even begin to unpack how grateful I am to you and how amazing and wonderful you are!!!! I hit the lowest of my lows this year and each time you were there to gently cradle me and hold me as to not let myself fall apart, despite your own struggles!! I'm also so glad that you joined me in the bbc merlin fandom and that we could share an unhinged love for it!!! 🤣💛 I love you so much, thank you!!!!

@insane-ohwhyfandoms : Fyre 🥺💖 Thank you for taking notice of me in sprinter-bot channel, I don't think I'd have have succeeded to make friends in mfbc if it weren't for you welcoming me so warmly!!!! Even now, I feel so blessed that I have such a wonderful close friend in you. I couldn't have foreseen this and each time i think of it, I have this silly smile on my face at the thought. Thank you for you! <3

@glaftwlet : Hi dear!! You didn't know this but to me, you were one of the first to call me by name in the merlin fandom and it made me go "oh my god people know me? people remember me???". It was at a moment in my life where I felt very lonely and I really needed it. I can't explain how giddy and excited i was for the whole day, knowing that someone were aware and took notice of me. It may have been inconsequential to you but it meant everything to me. so thank you <3

@arthursknight : Cee!! Love of my life, light of my days, I could not imagine a world where I wouldn't have the honor and the pleasure of meeting you. I'm so so so glad that you sent me that friendship shot. Your love and gentle comprehension really helped me back in the summer this year. I'm so so so so lucky that the universe let us cross our paths and that I got to know you. (Also you're the hottest person alive so xxxxx 😘💖)

@aemelia : I know we joke around but truly i admire your passion and commitment to The Book of Merthur. You're one of the funniest, sassiest of the people i know on here and i love receiving your messages and partake in the salt you spread. It makes my life more fun! 🤣💖

@excited-insomniac : Hi sophie 🫶 You're one of my favorite authors of ALL TIME and frankly I do NOT get why you're not more famous in the fandom. Everything you write is incredible!!!! And I'm incredibly honoured and flabbergasted that we've been talking, and becoming friends!!!! Like!!!!!!!! aaaaaaa 🫶🫶🫶🥺💛💛💛

@aithusar : Hi Loaf!! 🥰 Honestly i half-fell out of my chair when I noticed that you followed me. You're such a cool person and that you regularly rb and leave incredible tags make me blush each time!!!! It's like knowing someone is a Taste Haver and then they like your bullshit???? Like holy fuck perhaps I am doing something right. Additionally, i was stupid, ignorant even, about the beauty and importance of gifs. and then i saw the light (your gifs) and holy fuck 🛐🛐🛐 i was Changed after that.

@burglarhobbit : Liz 🥺💛!!!!!!! My love!!! You're legit one of my favs!!! (favorite person, favorite writer, favorite reason to stay awake, you name it). I'm so happy that 2022 brought you to me and I couldn't be happier and luckier that we've become friends. 😭💕🫶

@mykingdomcomeundone : Honestly we have not talked much but seeing you in my notifs was always a daily highlight. You were my "blorbo from my dash" 🤣💖 Thank you for making me smile!!!

@nextstopparis Hi Roya 🫶 I'm but a humble admirer of you. You have the best tags, your takes are all right, and your edits kill me inside but they fuel me at the same time. I wish you the best new year that you possible can have, despite everything and all life circumstances that there may be. 💕

@queerofthedagger hi love 💕One of my highlights this year was seeing that you followed me! To say that I was "immensely flattered" is an understatement. 😭🫶🫶🫶 I'm so honoured to be moots with you and each time i see that you rb something from me or even tag it "prev" i die inside a bit (of happiness 🫶). Happy new year and thank you for the love!!!! 😭💕💕💕🥰

#feuxx notes #my end of the year recap #thank you for everything I'm so lucky <3

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bitimdrake · 1 year

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So what’s with the fanon antagonism from Bruce toward Hal Jordan? It’s not something I see in canon outside of a little bit in GL Rebirth which is kind of justified because Hal, y’know, turned into a megalomaniac. But even in fanon depictions where the timeline is in some sort of pseudo-Bronze Age stasis where the League is the Big Seven plus maybe Ollie and they’re operating from the satellite and also the Batfamily exists somehow, I’ve seen a lot of Bruce hating Hal for no good reason.

Also, the depiction of Billy Batson in fandom, namely the tendency to have him act like a young child as Captain Marvel and get adopted by Bruce, leads me to believe that nobody’s ever read a Shazam comic. Post-crisis Billy is in high school - he’s canonically the same age as Stargirl. In both post-Crisis and New 52, he has his own adoptive families, and even when he didn’t, he worked at WHIZ Radio to rent an apartment on his own. Meanwhile, fanon Billy is homeless until Bruce adopts him.

I’ve also noticed a weird tendency in fandom to… not know who was in the League at any given time, or even attempt to set things in a particular period? Like, the JLA is almost always the Big 7 + maybe Ollie, Dinah, and Zatanna if you’re lucky. Even in the Satellite era, J’onn and Bruce both took long leaves of absence, and there were other people around. And that’s not even taking into account the Detroit League, the JLA/JLE split, the Morrison League, the Obsidian Age team, etc.

(lost this one in my drafts oops. sorry.)

Yeah god so. Two of these things I think are pretty reasonable results of people focusing in on their preferred characters and not knowing much about the rest of the universe.

And that's not hard! Even if you read comics--hell, even if you read a lot of comics--you can remain completely ignorant about one area of the universe. It's a big universe. (Hi! I know almost nothing about Green Lanterns except when they show up in massive crossovers or interact with my Titans blorbos.)

Personally, I'm annoyed when people are very wrong about the actual subject of the fic (e.g. if they're writing a fic about the JLA but getting everything wrong). And I'm really annoyed when they unfairly demonize someone.

But if the fic is about, say, the batfam, and the writer is spot on about them, but not so accurate when the JLA makes a brief appearance? I get it. It's a big universe.

Certain things about the JLA are better known than others, and people who don't actually know specifics about the JLA just kinda...assume all those things are Always True. Thus the perpetual Bronze Age, and perpetual Bruce vs Hal.

For those wondering what is true then: the JLA has a LOT of rotation. The team is constantly swapping out. They've had many different bases. I can't tell you who's on the JLA and where unless you first tell me when.

So the more we comics readers know, the more little annoyances you will get from fic inaccuracies. (For me, it's when people refer to Barry as the Flash in fics set mid post-Crisis and I'm like Barry Allen Has Been Dead For Years.) But I'm honestly very forgiving of those!

The Bruce adopts Billy Batson thing is hot garbage though. Like, c'mon guys. I don't expect you to know everything! It's okay if you don't know much about the Marvel family while writing batfam fics! But for god's sake stop making everything about Batman and the batfam. Other characters can exist without being spagettified by their gravity. Please let them be. And please stop trying to give Bruce new kids; he already doesn't deserve the ones he has.

#*#ask #thatsastepladder #dc #*dc #canon vs fanon

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autumnfuzz · 2 years

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Heinry and Kaufman and sexual harassment

TW: nonconsensual SH

I know manhwa fandom glorifies rape and sexual harassment and often the ml's are like that so I wasn't surprised when Heinry and Kaufman were just that.

First let's talk about heinry. He in his bird form stalked Navier to get close to her with malicious intent, he fell in love with (read got obsessed with) her later. But his first priority was to gather information and ruin her reputation. What a great start for our golden retriever puppy boi 🥺

Navier kissed queen, held it against her breasts, even spent a night with his bird form while he could feel her touch as a human being, not to mention as a naked person too. Navier didn't know it was heinry. She thought it was an adorable bird and he took advantage of that. He was a pervert who touched Navier intimately and later blushed in his room thinking about 🙄

McKenna never let Navier touch him in his bird form cause he knew it wasn't right. He felt uncomfortable doing this to Navier. Cause it was creepy and sexual harassment.

Of course the author made Navier brush over the fact cause otherwise how would he look better next to Sovieshu? You don't want people realise that your ml is worse than the antagonist.

And now Kaufman - that man is lucky cause he gets hardly any backlash despite being equally creepy cause he licks Navier's feet and punched Sovieshu. But this fandom ignored how he offered a rape drug to Navier to apply it on Sovieshu. Yes it was a rape drug. It basically forces people to fall in love with one person and the aggressor could do anything to the victim and the victim would have no choice but to comply. He also does this to heinry later. This guy is just distributing rape drugs like Tylenols and yet gets no flake from Navier. Cause once again how would he look better than Sovieshu if people realised that?

You know who never sexually harassed Navier or any other women? Sovieshu

You know who never distributed rape drugs to people? Sovieshu

Everything he did with Rashta was consensual between two adults. He never pushed Navier to get sexually intimate when Navier refused him.

His relationship with Rashta was never treated as cheating rather Rashta was considered a second wife. She signed documents like a marriage certificate and their prenup was that her kids won't get the throne. She told Navier that they had the same husband and Navier never refused that cause it was true.

Polygamous relationship was allowed and heck even Sovieshu told Navier she could take another husband if she wanted but he told her not to take heinry or Kaufman which is very logical cause it's a security risk for the nation. He wasn't against Navier taking another concubine, he was against the creepy dudes that were circling his empire.

Man I can't believe that Sovieshu, the intended antagonist of the story, is way more moral than the supposedly good guys of the story.

But again I'm not surprised. Manhwa community glorifies rape and sexual harassment. Trust me if heinry and Kaufman were ugly looking, there would be much more outcry but they get a pass cause they look decent. Don't get me wrong, I still dislike Sovieshu about how he treated Navier and Rashta later but that bish paid for his crime by being miserable rest of his life.

Heinry is the pUpPy boi and Kaufman is the mysterious hurt foreign man 😑 never did. They don't even think their actions were creepy.

I really hate manhwa authors and its fandom sometimes.

This is why beware of the villainess will always be my favourite. It points out the creepiness of manhwa fandom.

#full of internalised misogyny #and rape apologists #ugh #the remarried empress #remarried empress #navier #sovieshu #rashta #heinry #kaufman #webtoon #otome isekai #webtoon comic #beware of the villainess #beware of the villainess!#tepas webnovels

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nightingaleflow · 1 year

Text

Violet and Lotus, Chapter 7

(AO3 Link)

Fandom: Naruto Rating: T Pairing: Rock Lee x Nezumi Chisaki (OC) Chapter word count: 3.8k Warnings for this chapter: Medical stuff

A/N: Y'all.

This is the *final chapter* of Violet and Lotus.

I can't believe it either. This is the first multichapter story I've ever finished. It makes me want to do it again (and I will - I promise I'll work on Crystal and WYAAN after this).

But in the meantime, enjoy. <3

Lee caused quite the commotion when he arrived at the hospital. He’d burst through the doors, shouting for help. Sakura had come out to see what the fuss was, then immediately sprang into action. Nezumi was immediately taken for emergency treatment, Sakura funneling healing chakra into her as they went. Lee wanted to follow and to make sure Nezumi was ok, but as soon as he took a step, his own exhaustion caught up with him. He collapsed in the middle of the hallway, sending another team of medics scrambling.

He awakened a few hours later. His doctor had already healed the rest of his more dangerous wounds, leaving some shallow cuts and superficial burns from the Gates to heal on their own. She made sure he was alert and aware, then let Kakashi and Shikamaru into the room for his mission debrief. Lee went over every detail he could recall with him, from the letter that Nezumi had found to the hideout where they’d been taken. Shikamaru took careful notes of everything that Lee said, and once he was done, he thanked Lee and told him they’d handle everything from there.

Once they were gone, the doctor then returned and ordered him to rest until he was discharged. Lee nodded in agreement, but as soon as she left the room, he got up in search of Nezumi.

Luckily, he spotted Sakura coming out of a room on the next floor. She looked drained, wiping sweat from her brow before gulping down some water. “Lee?” she asked, spotting him. “What are you doing up here? You should be resting!”

He shook his head. “How is Nezumi?”

“In rough shape,” Sakura said, glancing back towards the room. “We got her stabilized, but we were lucky to get that. If you’d taken any longer to get her here, I’m sure we would have lost her.”

Lee swayed on the spot, his whole world shifting around him. Sakura darted to his side, supporting his weight. “Easy, Lee!”

“Can I see her?” he pleaded. “Please, Sakura.”

Sakura frowned. “There’s nothing to see, Lee. With her level of chakra exhaustion, she’ll be out for at least another day, if not more.”

“I understand that,” Lee said. “But I need to see her. I need to know that she is ok.”

Sakura’s eyes widened slightly. “All right, just for a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Sakura,” Lee said, fresh tears stinging his eyes.

Nezumi lay in a hospital bed next to the window, reminding Lee of his own hospital stay so long ago. Her expression was blank and empty as she slept, her hair loose and messy under her head. Her skin maintained the pallor she’d gained while healing him. She looked so frail, not at all like the ninja who’d risked everything to get him home

He didn’t try to stop the tears that flowed down his face. He reached out a hand, tucking a lock of hair back over her ear. “Nezumi,” he said softly. “It is me, Rock Lee. Can you hear me? We made it back home. You are safe now.”

She didn’t open her eyes. She didn’t speak. She just laid there, silent and still.

“I cannot stay for long today,” he said, gently picking up her hand. “But I promise, I will come back every day until you are better. And once you are, I will take you to my favorite curry restaurant!” Lee choked back a sob. “The food will not be as good as yours, of course, but it is a very close second in my opinion! I think you will like it very much!”

Sakura glanced inside. “Lee?”

“Ah, Sakura, I am coming.” He squeezed Nezumi’s hand, then set it down and wiped his eyes. “Thank you for allowing me to see her.”

“Of course,” Sakura said. “And don’t worry, we’re doing everything we can for her.”

“I know,” Lee said. “And I thank you. I just…”

His voice broke as he completely broke down. Sakura wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly as he sobbed. “I thought I was going to lose her.”

“But you didn’t,” Sakura said. “You got her home, and she’s alive.”

Lee nodded. “I know,” he said, sucking in a sharp breath. “Thank goodness. I would have never forgiven myself if…”

He shuddered, not wanting to think about it. Instead, he looked back towards Nezumi’s room. “May I come back tomorrow?” he asked, wiping his eyes.

Sakura smiled, releasing him. “Only if you promise to go get some rest like you were ordered,” she said, prodding him in the shoulder. “And no more Gates for a while.”

“Of course,” Lee said. “Anything you say.”

“Then visiting hours start at 9 am.”

“I will be here!” Lee promised, hurrying back down the hallway to his room.

The first thing Nezumi noticed was the smell. Familiar and sterile, she could tell even before she opened her eyes that she was in the hospital. The blanket was scratchy and the mattress hard - one of their patient beds. She could hear beeps from machines and the distant murmur of doctors and patients. Her head pounded, and she groaned softly, trying to lift her hand, only to discover that something was weighing it down.

Nezumi’s eyelids felt like they were weighed down by iron, but she forced them open. To her surprise, Lee was sitting in a chair next to her bed. He had fallen asleep, his head resting on the mattress. His hand clung to hers, keeping it from moving.

A lump formed in her throat. “Rock?” she croaked.

He immediately jerked awake. “Nezumi?” he said, his face lighting up. “You are awake!”

“Mmhmm,” she said.

Tears spilled from his eyes, but he didn’t bother to wipe them. He leaned over, hugging her tight. Nezumi closed her eyes, hugging him back as she relaxed in his arms. “I am so glad,” he whispered.

Nezumi smiled. “Likewise.”

“About time you joined us!” Sakura said, appearing in the doorway. “You gave us quite a scare, Nezumi.”

Lee and Nezumi immediately broke apart, blushing hard. Nezumi let out a small squeak of embarrassment that turned into a cough as her throat burned.

Sakura brought her a cup of water, helping her sip until her coughing stopped. “Lee, I need to chat with Nezumi privately. Can you give us a moment?” she asked, setting the half-empty cup on the bedside table.

“Of course!”

Lee bowed stiffly before scurrying out the door. Nezumi watched him go, disappointment clear on her face.

“He’ll be right back, Nezumi,” Sakura teased once they were alone. She then rested her hand on Nezumi’s torso, scanning her with chakra. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore and tired,” Nezumi said. “Same as usual.”

Sakura nodded sympathetically. “Your chakra levels are stabilizing, but they’re not at 100% yet. You’ll still need to take a few days to rest once you leave the hospital.” She smirked. “Your heart rate is still a little high, but I think that’s less to do with your mission and more to do with your partner.”

Nezumi blushed, letting out a small squeak.

“You’re making really good progress though,” Sakura said. “So if everything keeps progressing, you should be ready to go tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you,” Nezumi said. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“What happened though?” Sakura said. “You’re usually better with your chakra control.”

Nezumi rubbed her arm. “Our enemy nearly killed Rock,” she replied. “He nearly bled out. I had to do something.”

“Well, don’t make it a habit,” Sakura said. Then she paused. “...Rock?” she asked, making an odd face.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. That’s his name.”

“I just haven’t heard anyone call him that before.” She grinned. “I take it you two got close on the mission.”

“Yeah, I guess we did.”

“About time,” Sakura said, gently prodding Nezumi’s shoulder. “Now you can do more than just look at him.”

Nezumi blushed hard. “We’re just friends,” she replied. “Nothing more than that. We were on a mission, Sakura, not at a singles’ mixer.”

“Hmm,” Sakura said, sounding skeptical. “I don’t know. He left you that, for one thing.”

Nezumi turned and looked at where Sakura pointed. A small, blue vase sat alone on her bedside table, containing a single yellow daffodil. Her eyes grew wide, and she reached out, gently stroking the petals. “He gave me this?”

“He did,” Sakura confirmed. “He also hasn’t left your side all day. Every time I came in here, he was holding your hand and talking to you.”

A lump formed in Nezumi’s throat as tears stung her eyes. “Really?”

Sakura nodded. “Really.” She stood up, brushing off her lab coat. “You look like you’re in good shape, so I’ll leave you too alone now. I’m sure you’d much rather have him for company.”

Nezumi groaned and hid her face in her hands.

“Just take it easy for tonight, and you should be out of here first thing tomorrow.” Sakura went to the door and stuck her head out. “Ok, Lee, you can come back now.”

“Thank you, Sakura,” he said, sounding nervous.

He came back inside, smiling shyly at Nezumi as the door closed behind him. He sat down at her bedside, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs. Nezumi looked at him curiously, but before she could speak, she started coughing again. “Water, please.”

Lee immediately picked up her cup, carefully balancing it as Nezumi sipped. She sighed with relief as the water soothed her parched throat. “Thank you,” she murmured. Then she smiled. “We have to stop meeting like this though.”

Lee chuckled. “This does feel familiar.” He set the cup down next to the daffodil. “So, how are you? I did not get a chance to ask you before.”

“Not great, but working on it,” Nezumi replied. She looked him up and down. “How about you? You look like you’re better.”

“Much better, thanks to you,” Lee said, his eyes glistening. “You saved my life.”

Nezumi smiled. “Of course,” she said. “I promised I was going to get you home, and I don’t break promises.”

“Neither do I,” Lee said. He took her hand. “I am so glad you are ok, Nezumi.”

She gently squeezed his hand in return. “I’m glad you’re ok, too.”

He smiled at her, his expression softer than she’d ever seen it. His smile was hesitant, his cheeks were dusted pink, and his eyes were shining. Sunlight streamed in through the window behind him, giving him a faint glow.

Nezumi glanced at the flower he’d left her, her own face turning pink. “Sakura told me you brought this for me.”

Lee’s own blush turned darker. “I did.”

“Thank you, I love it.”

“I am glad.” He glanced away. “So…Nezumi?”

“Hm?”

“After…you leave the hospital,” he continued, one of his feet nudging the floor. “There is a lovely curry restaurant not far from here. It is not as good as yours, but it is a close second. And…I was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner sometime?”

Nezumi’s breath caught in her throat. “I…would love to…” she said. “But, Rock?”

“Yes, Nezumi?”

“This dinner…” she sucked in a breath, gathering her courage. “Would it be…a date?”

His expression grew hopeful. “Yes. I would like that very much, if you would permit it to be.”

Her breath vanished from her lungs. She’d been dreaming of this for months, ever since her days secretly watching him train. She’d hoped that Lee would one day notice her and give her a chance. And now, at last, he had. He was right in front of her, asking her out. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to throw herself in his arms and say yes.

But, as she was about to answer, she remembered something. She wasn’t the only one who’d been waiting for something. And it was something she could take care of - but not if she was already with him.

She hoped he would understand.

“I would love it to be,” she said.

Lee’s face lit up. “Really?”

Nezumi nodded, then held up a finger. “But.”

His smile faltered.

“I can’t say yes yet,” Nezumi said, laying her hand over his. “There’s something that I need to take care of before I can.”

Lee frowned in confusion. “There is?”

Nezumi nodded. “I can’t tell you what it is yet, but it’s important.” Her voice lowered. “I know I’ve asked you to trust me a lot these past few days…but can you do it one more time?”

Lee looked down to where her hand rested on his, and turned his palm up, interlacing their fingers. “Yes. I trust you, Nezumi.”

“Thank you,” she murmured. “And I promise, once it’s done, I’ll be happy to say yes.”

Lee squeezed her hand. “Then I promise I will be patient and wait for you.”

When Lee came by the hospital the following morning, Sakura told him Nezumi had already been discharged. He was glad to know she was ok, but that also meant he couldn’t see her since he didn’t know where she lived. He walked around the village for an hour, hoping for a glimpse of her. After not finding a single trace, he decided that the best course of action would be to return to his apartment.

He tried to rest, but neither his body nor his mind would let him. He settled for going through an abridged version of his workout he’d developed for recovery periods. Then he cooked dinner and tried to read a book before falling into a fitful slumber.

Another day passed, then two, then three. Lee still didn’t hear from anyone, Nezumi or otherwise. He went out to his usual training field, partially to get back to normal, and partially hoping that Nezumi would be lurking nearby, watching him. But she never appeared. He still went through the motions of his routine, but couldn’t help but feel dejected.

The fourth morning, someone knocked on his door. He leapt out of bed, barely pausing long enough to throw on a shirt before he opened his door. “Shikamaru?” he said, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“Well, don’t sound so happy to see me,” Shikamaru said, raising an eyebrow. “Lord Kakashi wants to see you.”

“But I have only just got back,” Lee said, confused.

“It’s not a mission,” Shikamaru said, waving his hand. “It’s something else.”

Confused, Lee ran a comb through his hair, then raced across the rooftops, wondering what on earth Kakashi wanted. He’d already given him the mission report while Nezumi was in the hospital, so unless there was something that needed clarification, it wasn’t that.

As he entered the office, Kakashi smiled at him from behind his mask. “Good morning, Lee. Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“Of course, Lord Kakashi,” Lee said, bowing. “What can I do for you?”

Kakashi chuckled. “Relax, Lee.” He reached behind his desk and pulled out Lee’s pack. “One, our allies from Yugakure were able to retrieve your personal effects from the prison you were in. I can’t guarantee they’re all in good condition, but they should be all there.”

“Oh, thank you, Lord Kakashi,” Lee said, bowing before accepting the pack. “Were you able to get Nezumi’s as well?”

“Yes, she already retrieved hers,” Kakashi replied. “Which brings me to my other order of business.” He glanced down at a document in front of him. “I was just reviewing a recommendation to promote you to jonin.”

Lee dropped his pack.

“It seems you made an excellent impression on Nezumi during your mission,” Kakashi said. “She said you demonstrated skill well beyond the level of a chunin despite never having done an infiltration mission before, as well as level-headedness and good decision making when things got rough.”

Lee opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“She feels that your promotion to jonin is overdue, and I have to agree. I apologize that it’s taken this long.” Kakashi beamed at him. “From this day forth, you are a jonin of Konoha. Congratulations.”

He extended his hand, and it took Lee a moment before he could reach his hand out to shake it. Shock and elation commingled in his body, making him tremble. He then stumbled outside, unable to believe it.

“I’m a jonin,” he murmured. Then, louder, he shouted “I’m a jonin! I did it!”

He laughed to himself, feeling lighter than he had in ages. He wanted to do something - to run around the village, to shout his triumph over and over again, to let the world know he’d done it. He’d finally achieved his dream. And it was all thanks to Nezimi.

Nezumi! He paused, squinting around the village. He had to find her.

He took to the rooftops, scanning ahead. He remembered from their conversations that she lived in an apartment near the hospital, but exactly where, he didn’t know. Luckily, as he approached the building, he spotted Sakura below and dropped down. “Sakura!” he called.

“Oh, Lee, hi!” Sakura said. “What can I do for you?”

“I am looking for Nezumi,” Lee said. “Do you know where she is?”

“I imagine she’s at home,” Sakura replied. “It’s where she’s supposed to be, anyway.”

“Can you tell me where? I need to see her.”

“Of course,” Sakura said, smiling. “Just go down this street and turn left. It’s the building with the pink roof, and then she’s in apartment 327. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you so much!” Lee said, taking off again.

Sure enough, as soon as he turned down the street, he spotted the building with the pink roof. He hurried to the third floor, skidding to a stop in front of her apartment. He paused to catch his breath, listening. He heard light shuffling inside. Nerves cut through his excitement as he lifted his hand. He wavered, his hand hovering in the air. Then, with a determined face, he knocked.

“Just a minute,” Nezumi said, her voice still sounding tired. A moment later, she took a sharp breath, then opened the door. “Rock?”

He couldn’t help it. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tight as she let out a squeak of surprise. “Lord Kakashi has promoted me to jonin.”

“Oh - oh!” Nezumi said, excitement in her voice as she tilted her head up. “He accepted my recommendation?”

“Yes!” Lee said, beaming down at her. “Nezumi, thank you so much!”

Nezumi glowed, finally hugging him back. “You’re welcome,” she said. “Though as I said in my letter, it was long overdue. You deserve this more than anyone else I know.”

Lee’s heart nearly beat out of his chest. “How can I ever repay you?”

“There’s no need for that,” Nezumi said. “Just be yourself and do your best.”

“I can do that,” Lee said, squeezing her one last time before letting her go. “So…Nezumi? Was this what you were talking about?”

Nezumi nodded. “Yeah. I wanted to make sure you got your promotion first.” She smiled shyly. “Since you’re not allowed to recommend someone you’re dating.”

Lee blushed, but he couldn’t help the grin that split his face. “You are incredible, Nezumi.”

“So are you.” She glanced up at him. “I’m ready now…if you are.”

Lee blushed harder. He took her hand, clasping it gently between his. “Nezumi,” he said. “Will you go out with me?”

Nezumi’s whole body trembled with joy. “Yes,” she said. “I would love to.”

Lee didn’t know how he was able to feel more happiness after his promotion, but it more than doubled as he pulled Nezumi back into his arms. The sheer joy he felt as he held her, tenderly stroking her hair and feeling her nuzzle against his chest, was indescribable. And, as he looked down, he could see his feelings reflected in her face as she gazed up at him, deliriously happy. She then tilted her head up, pressing a kiss against his cheek, and he melted.

A loud beeping broke through, interrupting the moment. They both jumped, turning red as they moved apart. “Sorry,” Nezumi said, rubbing her arm. “I’m in the middle of making dinner. I know you wanted to take me to that curry place, but…”

“Of course,” Lee said. “The restaurant is not going anywhere. We can go another day.”

“True, and I can’t wait.” She glanced shyly up at him. “Although…I think I made too much for myself.”

“Oh?” Lee said.

Nezumi nodded. “Would you like to join me?”

“If it is not too much trouble, then I would be honored.”

Her apartment was very much like her - small but pretty. Her appliances and furniture were either white or pink, giving the room a feeling of the first days of spring. A row of potted herbs sat on a shelf in her kitchen, giving off sweet scents. He also spotted the daffodil he’d given her, waving at him from her dining room table. “You have a lovely place.”

“Thank you,” Nezumi said. “Feel free to have a seat. Food will be ready in a minute.”

Lee nodded and sat at the dining room table as she returned to the kitchen. Then something caught his eye at the end of the table. Looking closer, he realized it was a pink ceramic mouse. It was broken into several pieces, but the base had been carefully glued back together. “Is this the mouse I gave you?”

“Yeah,” Nezumi replied. “It got broken in the battle, so I’m trying to put it back together.”

“I would be happy to get you another,” Lee said.

Nezumi shook her head. “Thank you, but no.” She smiled, a pink blush dusting her cheeks. “This one was the first gift you gave me, so it’s the one I want to keep.”

Lee’s heart flipped over. He pressed his hands to his mouth, trying not to make an indecent noise.

She brought him a bowl of curry a moment later, and just the scent alone made his face burn. He clasped his hands together as she placed it in front of him. “Thank you for the food!”

“You’re welcome,” Nezumi said, sitting across from him with her own bowl.

Lee dug into the curry, chatting happily with Nezumi between bites. He felt so content. For the first time since they set out on their mission, he was getting to have a real conversation with her, albeit one that was periodically interrupted by them making eye contact before looking away with a blush. He was in the safety of his village, eating his favorite meal, and with a woman he genuinely liked - he was basically in heaven.

No, not just a woman he liked. His girlfriend. Someone who genuinely had feelings for him, just as he had for her.

The thought alone made him overjoyed.

He couldn’t wait to see what their future had in store for them.

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