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#the bitch and the bastard

demonontheroad · 3 months

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*sweating* they're exchanging spiritual power your honor

i swear *sweating profusely* no other reasons

#the sillies #the bitch and the bastard #ill let you guess whos who #hualian #tgcf #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #fanart #doodle #sketch #misc #tgcf fanart #xie lian #tcgf #tian guan ci fu #hua cheng

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britcision · 10 months

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Hey when you move out on your own the most important food tip I can give you is “maybe you don’t hate x maybe your guardians just cooked it wrong”

The number of foods I have learned I really like if they’re Fucking Seasoned

The number of foods I’ve introduced friends to that they warned me they’d always hated til I let them try a piece of mine

Also marinade things for 24 hours the second you have your own fridge it is a GAME CHANGER you thought you knew food but you have never met her

#food tips #food #usually pork #you can’t just fry pork plain #it’s fucking boring #no #even just the tiniest bloop of teriyaki #a teaspoon of lea and perrins #or my preferred bastard mix: honey garlic honey mustard teriyaki bbq lea and perrins #leave it in that bitch overnight #i did a 48 hour marinade once and OH MY FUCKING GID #i wish i had energy to do it every day

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momotonescreaming · 1 year

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I need more fic where Steve does dumb teenage boy, bastard older brother shit The party rings Steve to ask for a ride to the arcade, and he asks them if their bikes got flat tyres, or broke. And when they say no, Steve just says - cool, you can bike there then - and hangs up. He goes back to flop on his couch to watch the baseball because he has plans today and they do not involve leaving the house or wearing pants. He goes out to lunch with Dustin, both of them going to a diner together. And Dustin forgets his wallet, it's fine, and he watches Steve order two burgers, two fries, two drinks. Only when they arrive Steve starts eating both of them himself and laughs his ass off when Dustin shrieks indignantly (Steve gives him one of the burgers. It has a bite taken from it). Steve is working a shift at Family Video with Robin, the pair of them reshelving the rewound tapes. He asks if she can hold his stack while he ties his shoelaces - and Robin says yes - and after he finishes retying his laces he just, doesn't ask for the tapes back. And he doesn't say anything and sees how long Robin can shelve his tapes for him before she realises.

Steve whispering in Eddie's ear, dropping his voice low in that way he knows Eddie likes. Acting all coy and sexy and asking Eddie if he wants to know what Steve's thinking. When he says yes Steve burps in his face super loudly and Eddie laughs so hard he almost pukes.

#steve is a bitch and a bastard and i love him for it #(eddie also loves him for it)#steve's always complaining and saying no to the kids #idk sometimes i think people make him too much of a pushover #Stranger Things #Steve Harrington #steddie #My Writing

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pedulum-chronometry · 12 days

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So far I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talking about this…. But Niko is implied to be Sedna come onto land for a mortal life or maybe some sort of physical incarnation of her.

Like at first I thought it was just a narrative parallel, you know, both the young girls with recently dead fathers but that igloo scene at the very end just smashed me over the head. She isn’t like her; she is her.

I went back to rewatch some scenes for reasons and guess who is inexplicably afraid of the stormy weather? Guess who avoids the father murdering his daughter case after learning he likely chopped them to pieces? Guess who observes Mick the walrus looking for sea glass after easily finding the red glass needed to find the washerwoman? Guess who spend the entire series wearing fingerless fucking gloves?

Even the story of Sedna- told through monochrome!? like a certain other monochromatic character- shows a dark haired girl become a white haired goddess. I just….

And her mom also might be the 002 boss woman we see give the boys an exception at the end?? She has such a reaction to her name, she can’t NOT know Niko. And at the end we see the dandelion sprites in the igloo no longer needing a jar to contain them. We see FULL gloves on the monochromatically dressed igloo occupant holding the good luck charm that Niko dies with? Like if she isn’t Sedna then she sure as shit won her favor somehow

TLDR me RN:

#niko sasaki #The A plot is The Dead Boys Homoerotic Escape Death thing #The B plot is Amnesiac Psychic With A Demon Ex #The C plot is everything with the town: Esther Cat King Jenny #The fucking D plot was whatever was happening with Niko and her mom #And these bastards somehow stealth sneaked that bitch in #I HAVE QUESTIONS!!!!#dead boy detectives #Spoilers

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ashersanity · 3 months

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— “Shit, who’s my good boy?”

-> content warning! dub-con?, blood, m top bastard! reader

Ever get that high whenever you ruin a cocky bitch, reducing them to a blubbering mess beneath you as they frantically claw at any nearby surface to steady themselves? Dumb fuck, bitten lips normally quirked up into a smug smirk now oozing fresh droplets of blood running over their chin. The panted sighs that escape them, wheezing and gasping, struggling for any sort of breaths. Just the glassy look in their eyes, the wet eyelashes beaded with tears, freely running down their flushed cheeks. Makes you wanna ruin them, bruised fingers curling deeper through the strands of their hair and using it as leverage to fuck ‘em.

If they’re going to be all bark and no bite, might as well use them like they’re meant to be used, slutty and begging to be stuffed full of your cock. Idly rubbing a rough palm over your throbbing, clothed erection, barely constrained by the constricting fabric holding it back. It’s almost amusing, how the stupid fucker is so helplessly out of it, that they don’t even flinch at the smack of your cockhead, oozing precum against their bloodied lips. With a low curse, prying their mouth apart, experimentally slipping a finger in to drag over their pink tongue. Whorish, instinctively sucking on the pad of your thumb only for it to be replaced by something thicker, hotter insistently nudging against their swollen flesh.

Alright, so you might be the bastard here for even taking advantage of the bitch like this, but after all they’ve done to you. Snarky and bratty, never once listening to your well-intentioned advice, it’s only fair to do as you please with them. Fuck it. Cockhead weeping pre-cum, you shove the entirety of your length inside their mouth, head thrown back at the warm, tight heat snugly wrapped around your fat cock. There’s no gentleness to your action, none of that crap, not after how they’ve acted as you grasp for the back of their head, practically face fucking them. Stifled whimpers slipping into needy whines, curve of their throat rhythmically bobbing in time with each of your heated thrusts. Equivalent of a fucking glory hole, that’s what it is. This stupid, dumb bastard is now all yours and they’re gagging on your cock as though they’ve just been given the taste of it.

— “Fuck, fuck — Haah.. That’s my good fucking bitch. Keep suckin’ like that fer’ me.”

That’s right, balls tightening in need, pulsing cum squirting across their pretty face, burying yourself into the back of their sloppy mouth one last time. Your thick, sticky load dripping from between their lips, struggling to take it all in as you begrudgingly part away from them at last.

— “Make sure to swallow it all, you slut.”

And they do — they do just that, swallowing your thick seed with a faint gulp, dazed off of your fucking cock. Utterly broken.

— “Now that’s my boy.”

whitney, avery, remy, gojo satoru?, suguru geto?, childe?, toji fushiguro?, kaeya alberich?, scaramouche?, reo mikage?, your favorites. shit, i fucking forgot.

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linlemonade · 2 years

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I blacked out for an hour and this is the result

#rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #bastard of a character absolute idiot dramatic bitch i love him

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lovesickeros · 8 months

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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."