I am not ready for today's episode

Thank you to @cha-melodius, @iboatedhere, and @itsmaybitheway for the tags! I so appreciate it. 🙃

Between trying to catch up on some reading and the release of Mary & George, I am a bit behind in my writing. But here is another teaser from The Big Sad.

Henry rolls his suitcase in and looks around. Alex tells himself a friendly hug is okay, so he walks over and leans up, wrapping his arms around Henry's broad shoulders. “Welcome home, man.” Henry ducks his head and blushes as Alex pulls back. “Thank you. As much as I love seeing my sister and Pez, it feels good to be back in New York. I wasn’t sure it would, considering… what it’s been like for me here. But I think that’s in large part to you,” he says earnestly. “Well, you know, I try…” Alex shrugs, running his hand through his hair. The emotions he’s feeling seem too big for this moment.  “Truly, Alex, I mean it. You’ve made a home for me here, and it’s meant a lot to me. The fact that I wanted to come back is a testament to how good a friend you’ve been to me. And helping me through all of this… I don’t quite know what to say.” Neither does Alex, so he just shrugs again and changes the subject. “Are you hungry? I was just starting enchiladas for dinner.” “Ooh, my favorite,” Henry says.  “Oh, right,” Alex says, as if he’d forgotten. As if that wasn’t the exact reason he’d planned to make that dish tonight. He smiles to himself as he resumes chopping peppers and onions.

Apologies if some of you have already posted, but tagging @anchoredarchangel @myheartalivewrites @indomitable-love @rmd-writes @cricketnationrise @orchidscript and an open tag for whoever wants to play! If you take it, please tag me; I'd love to see what you're working on.

I made the first step. I called a counseling office in my area. I don’t have an appointment yet but they’re going to call me back by the end of the week.

I’m scared, but I’m going to be okay.

Regulus: one day, you'll realise I'm bad for you and you won't want me anymore.

James: Never. I will always want you.

***

Regulus, gets the dark mark and James breaks up with him: See? I told you.

James: No, I want you. More than anything. I just can't have you.

Shalom! Can I please order a ☕️🧋With Sick Dabi? Thanks!

Ingredients: Sick Dabi x Reader (they/them)

Contains: breakups, minor violence (no one gets really hurt), hurtful words, swearing, arguments, Dabi is sick, ungretfulness,

Summary: Dabi is sick, but what if his ungratefulness takes the most precious thing from him?

Words: 1626

Type of order: Cupcake (Oneshot), coffee (angst), Bubble tea (request)

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you so much for your order. I hope it's to your liking. The sickness got a bit forgotten towards the end, but I hope you still like it. 💕

The day at work was stressful. Customers were storming in and out, you had barely any break. You simply wanted to come home, eat something from your favorite delivery service, and perhaps cuddle on the couch with Dabi while watching a movie. Of course, if he sneaked into your flat.

You turn your key in the lock to finally enter your home. “Argh, finally.” you groaned as you got rid of your shoes. The house was quiet, just how you liked it. You placed your keys in your gorgeous key bowl, which Dabi created for your first anniversary. You approached the living room with delicate steps, not expecting to see him, yet there he was. His black hair adhered to his sweaty forehead. Every now and then a whine fell from his lips. You were beyond worried, never in your entire relationship was Dabi sick. Not even after you both dashed home in the pouring rain in the dead of winter. You approached your boyfriend with quiet steps. With a gentle movement, you laid your hand on his forehead to feel if he has a fever. Just as you thought, he was boiling.

Dabi grabbed your arm and yanked it from his brow in a split second. “Leave me alone,” he growled, visibly annoyed. “Ok, I will prepare some soup for you,” you whispered. You attempted to kiss him on his hot cheeks, but he just turned around. Well, he was annoyed by his sickness, so you didn't pay any mind to it. He just had a bad time now, it will be better if he rested enough and ate something. The kitchen was still a mess from breakfast this morning, you had to leave in a rush and Dabi headed to somewhere you didn’t know. Before you could prepare the soup you had to clean this mess. Good for Dabi so he could rest even more. With a faint smile on your lips, you cleaned the dishes, the counters and prepared the ingredients.

After some hours the soup was finally finished. You put all your love and heart into it, you hoped that Dabi loved this soup. He always adores your cooking, so why shouldn’t he? Finishing the last decorative elements, in the form of chopped seaweed, you put the bowl of soup and a glass of water on a tray, which was usually used for breakfast in bed. “Dabs, I am finished. Do you want to try a bit? Maybe it will help.” you asked calmly. He growled. You weren’t sure what this meant so you asked again. “Do you want to try my soup?” “Fuck off Y/N. I don’t need your stupid soup. I don’t need your help.” he barked and slapped the tray out of your hold. The bowl fell loudly on the new gray carpet, and the hot soup splashed on your thighs. Burning pain made you gasp, but you ignored it. The shock of his words hurt more than the hot soup per se. “I will get something to clean up,” you mumbled quietly.

You vanished into the bathroom and got some towels from the cupboard. As you wanted to enter the living room your steps came to a hold. Dabi was talking with someone. His voice was not as deep as always, because of his sniff, but he still sounded angry and annoyed. “Shiggy, you won’t believe it. They made me a soup. It probably tastes like piss, like all their cooking. They are so useless. This stupid behavior really pisses me off. It's so annoying. I need to hang up, Y/N is probably almost back to clean their mess, they are useless as I said. See ya.”

Tears were running down your cheeks. You could barely manage to hold your cries. You were already insecure so why did he have to bash on it? Why all of the sudden? Have you done something wrong? Did he only use you? You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down, even though you were boiling with hurt and anger. With a swift movement, you wiped your tears away. You entered the living room.

Dabi just put his phone away, as you entered. “Can I ask you something?” you whispered, attempting not to anger him even more. “You already did.” He snorted and rolled his eyes. “What did I do to you, to make you so angry?” You quickly got up and walked to the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow behind your back. “Are you stupid? You are just an annoyance, you are useless and just utterly stupid. I don’t need someone like you in my life. You’re selfish and only do something for me when you feel like it, not when I need it. This whole relationship is just for my benefit. I used you, you stupid girl.” His smoky voice grew louder with every word. And with his words came new tears. They were now running down your cheeks like little rivers, your voice shivered as you answered. “Get out, I don’t want to see you ever again. How could you just act like you love me and give me such lovely gifts? You faked it all. You asshole. You're dead to me.” You hit Dabi with the towel you used to wipe up the soup. With each punch, your insults to him grew louder. Dabi was used to worse, so he just stood there and waited until you were exhausted. “I am going then,'' he said nonchalantly, like nothing of this argument mattered to him.

As the door closed with a loud thud, you broke down. Tears of rage and despair streamed down your chin and dropped on the slanted floor. The pain inside of your chest was unbearable. All of those years, for nothing. Every “I love you” was fake. Every breakfast in bed was fake. Every date you both went on was fake. He only used you, like some doll. Just like he always had called you. You slammed your fist into the ground until the skin of your knuckles grew bloody. The pain and betrayal you felt couldn't be formed into words. It just felt as if someone had ripped your kind and loving heart out.

At the same time, Dabi tried to get himself down the stairs, but due to his sickness, he had to sit down in front of your door. The apartment building was cold, not like your cozy apartment. He hated himself for his stupid words, nothing of it was true, but his insecurities got the better of him. “Damn it,” he swore loudly. You were just too good for him, too kind, and way too great, but he didn’t want you to be involved in his criminal actions. His head began to spin as he continued to curse himself. Before he passed out he typed Shigaraki a short message. “Don’t need to get me, I'll stay.” After he pressed on ‘sent’ the world grew dark around him.

The next morning you awoke in the middle of the kitchen. The whole crying got you so tired that you passed out on the cold floor. You felt as if you hadn’t slept at all, besides that your back was also hurting. With a deep breath, you started your horrible day. The pain of yesterday was still too present. You got dressed in your sports clothes as you wanted to go jogging, to forget this horrible feeling. But as you opened your front door, the sleeping Dabi fell onto your feet. Even though you wanted to be angry at him and ignore him, your pity for him was bigger. You wanted to kick your ass, for your next move. With a gentle pat on his head, you woke him up. “Dabi, get in my flat and sleep there. It’s more comfortable.” He looked up at you with tired eyes. “Mhm.” he only grumbled, as he got up.

Without a word, he entered your flat. You snort but follow him back inside. As you closed the door, Dabi finally spoke up. “I am deeply sorry about yesterday,” he mumbled. You crossed your arms above your chest and raised an eyebrow. “I won’t accept your apology. What you said yesterday really hurt my feelings and at the moment I am too angry at you to believe you. You said you used me, how could I trust you with your words now.” you said coldly. He nodded sadly. Well, he knew that you wouldn’t believe his apology. “Please let Shigaraki take care of you and leave. We need a break. First I have to build up trust again. I loved you, really, but you hurt me too much to let you stay in my life at the moment. Maybe we will get back together and if not then not.” Your voice shivered, but you didn’t want to cry about it now. Dabi only nodded and went straight to the door, but before he left he said something that made you regret your choice. “To be honest, all of it was a lie. I would never use you. I love you way too much, to ever betray you, but I am not a good person. You shouldn’t be involved in my crimes. I somehow wanted to protect the most precious thing in my life by destroying it completely. I knew that this would be a decision that would destroy my life, but t’s better that you are safe now instead of me being selfish. I will always love you, no matter what. I hope you will have a good time. I hope we will meet again.” He left your flat and took your heart with him. He would always be your first and last love.

[I Wake Up]

[Battle Music Starts Playing]

Ahh, it's time again to fight my oldest foe

✨ The Big Sad ✨

Four literally went from:

To this

Lizzy just wasn't the same after everyone left her

i love ya kid!✌🏼❤️‍🔥

I just finished rereading the gregor the overlander series and let me tell you it has ruined me a second time. I only had a vague idea of what I was getting my little brother into. In my 20s reliving the deaths of so many characters, I have cried and I am empty. Good luck little brother bc I gave that book to you only half remebring what was to come.

Picked up my antidepressants today hopefully should be back in the Kinktober train in a day or so!!!! Seasonal depression is a BITCH y’all

feeling really shitty tonight. time to drown myself in vessel's voice and exit my body for an hour 🫡

I. Might be gone for a few days.