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fics-lovebot · 9 months

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seventeen recs

main masterlist

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

poly

dating svt (hyung line) - LOVE IT, joshua got me on a chokehold, and wonwoo PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE :( wherecanIgetoneofthose

dating svt (maknae line) - mingyu as a back hugger is so :(((((((((, I can totally see dino writing love letters to his s/o :(((

pick-up lines - non-idol! au, fluff, silly af, my favs are jeonghan, jun, wonwoo, woozi, mingyu, chwe and chan

you take your promise ring off during a fight - performance unit, vocal unit , hip-hop unit, angsty af, made me cry a little

reaction to the camera panning to them when their idol!s/o is on stage - idol!au, idol!reader, dsfkjsdfjh the jeonghan is my fav idk

kitten ears - pwp, smut, hybrid!reader in heat, LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, IT´S FILTH,,,,, and my fav one is hoshi´s LDJSLFJH read it whenever you feel like having a smut fest

hip hop unit

seungcheol

let me take care of you - drabble, fluff, hubby!cheol, pregnant reader, he is straight uP husband soon-to-be-daddy material, this was so CUTE,,,

caught in a trap - smut, seunkwan´s sister!reader, older brother´s bff!cheol, face riding, he makes you beg for it, “you’ve got me in your little trap, baby. what are you gonna do with me?” SLDKJSHDFKSJ whY is he like tHAT??

as your boyfriend - he gets offended if you don´t let him pay???? now THAT´S my kind of man

whatever you say - fluff, crack, text au, #simp, this is funny lmao

wonwoo

he angry fucks you bc he lost in a video game - blurb, smut, explicittt, the title??? I can see the vision. listen the way this just escalated INMEDIATLY I-, he is ANGRY FR FR in the hottest way, just read it ok pls

he´s rough and in love - smut, just pwp, i made up the name bc it is what it is, he´s already made you cum twice but he still looks at you with eyes full of the purest love while doing the nastiest things, puthy clenching dirty talking, you talk too much, y’know that?, he wanted to keeP GOINg like,,,,sir

the peephole - smut, perv!wonu, roomies au, he´s obsessed, "Speak up, slut. Or have I fucked you completely stupid already" UMMMM?????

scented candles - e.r, fluff, idk idk idk this was cute

couple things - slice of life, fluff, “is there… a reason you’re upside down, my love?”

needle in the hay - idol au, angst, smut, break up au, idol!reader, 97-liner! reader, poor wonu, slow burn kinda, he´s hopeless and scared and nervous

lingering looks - fluff, idol romance u, POWER COUPLEEEEEEE, I love it, this could be us but he playin

marriage -married life au, dad!wonu, his daughter (a child) wants to marry uncle gyu so he goes on cardiac arrest bc there´s no mf way bUT at least it wasnt soonyoung

workplace crush - work au, co-worker!wonu, I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM AS "THE IT DEPARTAMENT CRUSH"!!!!! I would have had to quit, it´s too much

cat and mouse - smut, kinda red flag!wonu, "Wonwoo thinks you’re the cutest person ever. And the part of you he finds the most cute? The fact that you actually think he’s going to let you avoid him forever." FLSDUKFJHSLDKJFH

arguments - smut, “You remember how I dealt with that little attitude of yours last time?” he´s a cocky mf

wisdom tooth surgery - fluff, reader is out of it bc of anesthesia and she cant believeee mingyu´s hot rommie is her mans, it´s a nice read

bruised - angst, fluffy ending, break up au, tough guy wonu but he´s actually a cutie pie, he´s careless about his safety, I LOVE ITTT, the angst is gewd

what you need - smut, shy!reader, soft dom!wonwoo, praise kink, JEON MF WONWOO I- LSFHSKDJFHLSJDFLH this made me blush yall, the ending too sdfksdfkh

mingyu

birthday boy - fluff, f2l, the fLIRTING!!??, i honestly blushed, my eyes got watery and everythin, i HATE IT (not) bc why is he so dreamy every TIME??, also,,, the make out sesh?? MY GODDD, i swear I felt it. he. is. inloveeeeee

first kiss - fluff, established relationship, he IS going to kiss you or else,,,,the man is obsessed

he´s big - smut, size kink,"daddy's too big for you? s'okay, princess, you can do it. you can take it. you're my good girl." CALL THE MF POLICE RN!!!!1!!!!! iminlove

big buff gyu - smut, manhandling, dom!gyu, “look at me, let me see you cry, baby” STOOOOOPPPP sksdfnslflfwkf

beach boobs babes - smut, beach au, chubby reader, big boobs, he´s suffering sfjfjdhdjdh, HE´S COCKY,, literally, shit talker, titty fuckin, he likes thicc girlsssss

pup code - fluff, smut, crack, size kink kinda, mingyu has a fat crushhhh, lowkey himbo vibes, he gets so nervous lmao, jeonghan is a lil shit, somebody help mingyu omg, wonwoo is a victim!!!!!, “I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” jefjrejufriuj

sleepy talk - fluff, married au, “Do you think I’m pretty?” “Sweetheart, we’re married.”

his girl - smut, angst, emotionally unavailable reader, whipped mingyu, “i’ll fuck you forever.. as long as you want. fuck you ‘til you never wanna leave again”

funfetti - bf!gyu, birthday au, so FLUFFY I WANNA CRYYYYYYYYYY love him sm :(

hybe romance - idol!gyu, idol!reader, fluff, love itttttttttttt, THOSE PICS OF MINGYU ON PART 2 LORDDDD, if I was an idol hanging out with the 97 squad i´d be a hOE, no questions asked, bunch of men i want to fucc sitting together would be the end of me

pussy drunk - smut, pussy whipped, "i'm legit gonna kill myself if we dont fuck again", HE NEED SOME MIL

creep - smut, halloween au, serial killer!gyu, ghost!gyu, jeonghan is always starting some shit I swear, this is DIFFERENTTT and the smut is so good yall PLEASE read it

first morning together - fluff, UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :((((((( ihateithere

warm on a cold night - fluff, college au, bsf to lovers, it´s cute

daddy - smut, lowkey fluff, dom!mingy, daddy kink, SIZE KINK are we even surprised atp?, innocent! reader

drunk giant - drunk!mingyu, bc why would he try to challenge cheol to a drinking game??, wonwoo is tired, and somebody get hoshi´s lips off of seokmin!

gym and thirst - smut, those pics of mingYU NAUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF SDKHWEYWRAWRRAWRAWR bc why tf would joshua do that for????? pls I love big men

mingyu´s cause of death - FLUFF, bf!gyu, this made me really want to cry myself to sleep from the beggining bc there´S NO WAAAAAAAAYYYYY :´´) so cute #simp #whipped

heater - fluff, gyu is cold,,,or is he not, “you’re literally taking all of my body heat, that’s why i’m cold,” “maybe if you didn’t insist on using my boobs as a pillow-,” “oh shut up,”

stain on the sink - fluff, e.r, slice of life, sex joke, you bleach his hair, is so domestic idkidk

cuffing season - smut, richbf!mingyu, he got a black card, good money, good job, loves spoiling you AND he´s wearing the wife beater - grey sweats combo??????? CUFF HIM UP NAAAOWWW, AND AND AND he also makes sure to fuck you without ruining your hair and nails that HE PAID FOR!!!!!! BUT since he gets a lil carried away and you chipped a nail he gives 300 dollar$$$ to get it fiixed right away LIKE????? god please when is it my turn to be happy

worshipping you - smut, sub!gyu, a short one but WHEEEWW

wet sound - smut, short one, THE DIRTY TALK!!!!!! I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM bc wdym he makes her shut up so she can listen to her wet coochie sOUNDS????? call 911 rn

kitty - smut, THE VISUALS??!?!??! the way this played in my mind had me shook

trouble - fluff, non-idol!gyu, you´re his pretty mess, lowkey brat reader, in love gyu, baking cookies with his cute lil helper sdfljsdfljh :( its cute

vernon

vernon loves your face - he´s so in love omg, sdsdkfj it´s so cute

coffee talk - fluff, coworker!vernon, work romance au, jwhhxsjxsjd cutee

no studying for you - smut, he isn´t letting you study, “Hansol! For the love of fuck!” “Yeah that’s me, I love to fuck,” what?? dkdsfjfj

bias - fluff, slice of life, idol!au, you make the cats choose their svt bias, IT SO WHOLESOME :((((((((

vocal unit

woozi

joshua

bad joke - angst, fluff, calling you clingy

tom and jerry - smau, fluff, crack, text au, SOMEBODY COME GET JISOO LMAOO, he´s doing too much

mr. nice guy - smut, next door neighbors au, I HATE HIM skfffkjs this got me blushing and shit, he cosplays as a gentleman but he´s actually just a flirty nasty mf

seokmin

You Know What They Say About Men With Big Feet - smut, big feet, big nose, big muscles and a big dicc YUPPPPPP, seokmin has it ALL

perfect man - smut, he´s a gentleman, reader makes the mf move and I would have too

jeonghan

2am conversations - slice of life, “what if crabs think that fish can fly?” “angel, it’s two in the morning,” sdkhfksb it´s cute :(((( so domesticc

such a flirt - fluff, he keeps on flirting but has a breakdown when you flirt back lmao, cute

call me by his name - smut, softdom! wannabe harddom! hannie, hSLFDHSLKFH I CAN REALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING idk idk

the long way - model!jeonghan, staff!reader, UGGHHDSLHFLSKH i love this, he´s so confident and lowkey straight forward

tinted windows - smut, ceo!hannie, panty ripper,, literally, car sex, “sir you have a meeting in twenty minutes.” “fuck that stupid meeting, i have more important things to be doing right now.” IT´S GOOD YALL

seungkwan

dance unit

hoshi

why do you love me? - fluff, blurb, so cute

too hot - very suggestive, naaaahhhh he was done for before it even started

first time - smut, fluff, crack, they´re both dumb, reader is boldddd lmao, #couplegoals

drunk and in love - fluff, wasted!hoshi, him in his tiger patterned-shirt, asdkjasdh he´d deff be like this, he rants about how wonderfull you are to whoever got ears, so cute

junhui

jun realizes he has a size kink - blurb, smut, the words he SAIDD I-, in my opinion it was too short!1! that was some good stuff

how badly do you want this? - smut, oral, 7 mins in heaven, it´s hottt

minghao

lollipops and candy bars - smut, sub!hao, reader loves to tease, cute and innocent looking reader, hao needs help lmao, "Well, I finished off my lollipop a while ago, do you have anything else I could suck on?” SKLHDLFJHKLDJ wow

chan

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jungshookz · 1 year

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smitten: jungkook's date is tonight but y/n's more stressed about it than he is

➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader

➺ genre; smitten!miniseries!! bff!kook & smitten!y/n!! university!au!! honk honk humour!! the boo hoo angsty wattpad-energy fic of your dreams!! unrequited love!! so much pining!! it hurts so bad but that's what makes it so good!! yoongi should really mind his own business!!

➺ wordcount; 6.5k

➺ summary; jungkook's dream date with ji-eun is tonight and y/n's going to do everything in her power to make sure everything goes perfectly.

➺ what to expect; "we've been planning and preparing for this date for the past week, jungkook. i'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that things go according to plan. your date is going to be perfect.”

➺ currently spinning on the record player; i wish [one direction]

➺ smitten: part one [the almost confession]; part two [the incriminating note]

»»————- ♥ ————-««

“pepperoni to garlic knot- pepperoni to garlic knot- come in- are you there?"

the sound of the walkie talkie crackling to life makes you perk up and you reach behind to pull it out from your back pocket, pressing down on the side button with your thumb before bringing it up to your mouth

“garlic knot to pepperoni- i'm here." you bite back a grin at the silly nicknames jungkook insisted on using before speaking up again, "the last of the fairy lights have been strung up, by the way! over."

“oh, sick!" jungkook gasps lightly, "okay, i need you to come down and help me because i've been trying to tie this tie for the last, like, half an hour and at this point i’m just going to have to wave a white flag and surrender. over.”

"roger that. i'm coming down." you tuck the walkie talkie into your pocket again before letting out a sigh and looking around the rooftop setup with your hands on your hips

you must admit it looks really good (as it should, because you've literally been setting everything up since this morning and it's about 5:30pm now)

the bubble tent's been blown up and you made it all comfy and cozy inside with fluffed up pillows and soft throw blankets

you strung the fairy lights up on the clotheslines and you made sure to use fresh batteries for them so that they'll last all night

and the little round table that jungkook and ji-eun will be eating dinner at was a little wobbly but that problem was easily fixed with some blu-tak

the happy smile on your face twitches slightly when the realization that you spent the entire day setting up a date that you're not even a part of hits you

"…oh, you silly girl.” you can't help but snort as you shake your head and turn around to head towards the rooftop door so you can go to jungkook’s apartment, "you silly, silly girl-"

all of this time

all of this effort

all of this everything for a boy you like who you know for sure doesn't like you back because if he liked you back he wouldn’t have asked someone else out

what exactly do you think the end result is here?

what exactly do you think you're gaining out of this?

literally nothing!!!!

so why are you doing all of this??

"because i'm a big ol' simp with no backbone, apparently-" you mutter under your breath as you open the door to jungkook's apartment, forcing the frown off your face and replacing it with an easygoing smile

you may be a simp with no backbone but…

well, no

that’s it. there’s nothing else to say.

"y/n? that you?"

"yeah! sorry, probably should’ve knocked or something- also, not to toot my own horn or anything, but i did a fantastic job with the decorations! i could be a party planner or something if this whole school thing doesn’t work out-” you kick the door shut behind you before looking around for jungkook, "where are you?"

"gimme a sec! i'm, like- i'm almost done, just wait-"

you plop down on the couch and tilt your head back to look up at the ceiling before letting out another quiet sigh

this is why you need to be constantly busy doing things, because if you get even a moment of peace, you start to think and think and think and you hate being alone with your thoughts because your brain starts to mock you and berate you and say things like hey, y/n? you have a paper due at midnight tonight that you're only halfway done with but instead you're prioritizing being a wingwoman to a boy who's head over heels in love with someone else-

"okay, hi!" you jolt in surprise at the sound of jungkook's voice from behind you and you're about to turn around when suddenly he speaks up again, "hold on! close your eyes until i tell you to open them."

"what? why?" you frown as you settle back against the couch again and shut your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “i already know what you’re going to wear, i’m the one that picked the outfit for you anyway-”

"i know, but surprises are fun-" you hear the shuffling of material and you resist the urge to turn around immediately as your impatience grows, "okay, i think that looks fine. turn around!"

"i really don't know why you had to prepare me to see you in-" you twist your upper half around so you can finally look at jungkook and almost immediately you feel your heart skip a beat at the sight

the crisp white button-up tucked into a pair of slacks are a stark contrast to the outfits you're so used to seeing jungkook in because most of the time he's drowning in a sweatshirt that's ten sizes too big for him and some slouchy cargo pants and a pair of chunky black stompers

but this? this is…

oh, wow.

"so?" jungkook's being uncharacteristically shy with you as he averts his gaze and reaches down to fiddle with one of the buttons on his shirt, "how… do i look?"

"-handsome." you blurt out, shaking yourself out of your slight daze as you get up from the couch so you can go over to him, "you look- you look very handsome, jungkook. you- yeah, you look very handsome.” you press your lips together, unsure if you should say anything else because you’re not sure where the line is between being a supportive friend or just ogling your friend like he’s a piece of meat

it's when you find yourself looking down at your own outfit (jeans and a t-shirt and socks with a hole on the right heel) that the little voice in the back of your head reminds you of the reality of the situation: that he's looking very handsome not for you, but for ji-eun, and in this moment you wish there was a way to just shut your brain off to cease all cruel thoughts

jungkook looks very nice. just focus on one thing at a time.

“oh my god-“ jungkook's nose immediately scrunches up before he lets out a little laugh, "you're totally hitting on me right now, you weirdo- you look very handsome, jungkook-” he mocks you in a higher voice and you can’t help but feel a little dejected that this is how he reacts to a genuine compliment from you

if anything, it’s more confirmation you didn’t need that jungkook most definitely doesn’t feel the same way about you

"well, i-" you stop yourself from walking any closer to him as you feel your entire face flush bright red, "i- well, i’m trying to be supportive here… you look nice, i’m not gonna be an asshole and say you look bad for this date-” you force out a nervous laugh as you reach up to rub the back of your neck, "whatever, you look fine-"

“thank you, i just- i’m not used to compliments but anyway-” jungkook interrupts you (thankfully, otherwise you definitely would’ve continued to babble and babble and babble) to hold up a black tie, "you need to help me with this."

"you know, i… i actually don't think you need the tie?" you tilt your head a little as you look over jungkook's outfit, "i think you'll look better without it on, and a tie seems a little too formal for the date- can i-" you shuffle forwards slightly before undoing a couple of buttons on jungkook's shirt and spreading the collar open a little, jungkook raising his head a bit so you can work your magic

"you really think this looks better?” he asks quietly, and your eyes flicker up to meet his for a brief second before you quickly look back down at your fumbling fingers

"yea,” you respond, pressing your lips together as you smooth out the collar before taking the tie from his hand, tossing it over your shoulder and stepping back to look at your work, "yeah. that's much better. okay, put the suit jacket on, lemme see the whole look-"

"dude, i've been, like- so nervous all day." jungkook lets out a breath as he pulls the suit jacket up off the back of the couch, "like- okay, obviously ji-eun and i get along really well in real life, but this is the first time we'll be in, like, a romantic setting, you know? like romantic on purpose.“

"it'll be fine. i mean, you already got through the hardest bit which was asking her out-" you shrug as you lean against the back of the couch and cross an ankle over the other, "and she said yes, so… obviously you're doing something right. you’re gonna be fine, you just have first date jitters! everyone gets the first date jitters.”

"i know, but-" he smooths the sleeves of the suit jacket out before looking back over at you, "ah, i don't know. i just feel like i'm gonna screw up somehow, you know?"

"you won’t,” you shake your head before offering him a smile, "just be yourself! don't put too much pressure on, like- on acting like how you think she wants you to act, you know what i mean? just be yourself. she likes you, jungkook. you're a total catch, so-" you cut yourself off before you wander into the ‘you’re a total catch which is actually the reason why i’m in love with you' portion of your pep-talk as you get up off the couch, "yeah! just- just relax. everything's going to go perfectly tonight. and like i was saying when i first walked in here, not to toot my own horn or anything but the rooftop looks immaculate.”

“i’m sure it does! i can’t wait to see it-“ jungkook pauses all of a sudden, his eyes widening in realization, "oh, shit!"

you don't even get the chance to ask him what's wrong before he starts to spiral and you blink rapidly at the sudden change in behaviour

"oh my god.” jungkook slaps his hand against his forehead, “i- fuck, i forgot to pick up the flowers and the- oh my god, i knew i forgot to do something today!" he gawks, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, "shit! shit, shit- damnit, i was gonna pick them up this morning and then i went to the gym and i forgot-"

“i-" you’re slightly startled at how stressed he is over some flowers and you can’t help but chuckle, “there’s even a little sticky note on the fridge to remind you-”

"i know!” jungkook whines, “i know, i don't know, i guess it just slipped my mind because i've literally been thinking about this date all week-“ he sucks some air in through his teeth before shaking his head, “okay, i guess i can just head over there right now and then come back-”

"woah, woah-" you skid over and press a hand to jungkook's chest to keep him from bolting out the door, “what are you talking about? you can't leave now! it's- it's 5:45- and not to mention, it's literally rush hour so the highways are probably all clogged up right now and- ji-eun's going to be here in half an hour so you'll never make it back in time and your suit's going to get all wrinkled because you'll be all cramped up on the bus-"

"y/n, the flowers and the teddy bear are two essential parts of the date,” jungkook looks at you with wide eyes, clearly desperate to leave the apartment, “i’m not gonna have anything to give her when she arrives, she can’t show up only for me to be empty handed-”

"hey, relax!” you snap, softening your tone when jungkook’s shoulders droop slightly, “listen, you are not going to leave the apartment because ji-eun is coming and i’m sure she’ll be disappointed if she finds me on the rooftop instead of you. this is what’s going to happen: you’re going to sit here and wait for ji-eun, i’m going to go and pick up the flowers and the teddy bear, and then you can give them to her after the date. it’s going to be fine, you are literally being so dramatic right now-”

"but-"

"look, i'm sure ji-eun isn't going to throw a tantrum if you don't present her with a bouquet of flowers at the beginning of the date- if she did, that’d be kind of odd but that’s not the point- the point is, it'll be fine. you go on your date, i’ll pick them up."

"yeah, but-!"

"kook, i've got it, alright?" you back away from him slowly but you keep your arm extended to make sure he doesn't move, "i'll take care of everything, you know i can handle it- just- i'm gonna go now and then- i'll leave behind the rooftop door as soon as i get them, okay? and i'll text you so that you'll know they're there-"

"y/n…" jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek anxiously, guilt swirling around in his eyes, "you've already done so much for me, i can't ask you to-"

"we've been planning and preparing for this date for the past week, jungkook. i'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that things go according to plan. your date is going to be perfect.”

“are you sure? i feel bad, i feel like you did so much and-”

“i’m sure, jungkook-" you interrupt him again before turning to grab your jacket off coat rack, “the only thing you have to think about tonight is how you’re going to charm ji-eun — and to be honest, you don’t even need to think about it because all you have to do is be yourself! now sit down and try to relax. and try not to wrinkle your shirt, i spent way too long ironing it earlier."

»»————- ♥ ————-««

your nose crinkles slightly as you look up at the sky, your brows knitting together in concern at the light grey clouds hanging in the air

the forecast did say it would be cloudy today (and it has been cool and cloudy all day) but you’re hoping it doesn’t rain because if it rains that’ll completely ruin the date and jungkook will probably be electrocuted by the fairy lights if he touched them

of course, jungkook and ji-eun can take cover in that bubble tent if it starts to rain, but hopefully it doesn’t… (why are you so hellbent on making sure this date is going to go smoothly?! you might as well plan their wedding for them as well at this rate.)

you perk up when you see the bus you’re supposed to take rounding the corner and you fumble in your purse for your bus card, stepping up to the stop eagerly

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out once you plop yourself down in a seat in the back

from: jungkook (5:58pm) — Holy shit I’m acc so nervous

from: jungkook (5:58pm) — What if this goes horribly

you can’t help but roll your eyes at how panicky jungkook is being because he really has no reason to be nervous

all he had to do was dress himself and make himself presentable because you were the one who did all the hard work of setting up (to be fair, you insisted on setting up alone because you like things done a certain way and jungkook seemed too jittery to focus)

to: jungkook (5:58pm) — you’re literally going to be fine

to: jungkook (5:58pm) — it’s going to be fine

to: jungkook (5:58pm) — you already know she likes you

to: jungkook (5:59pm)— just think of this as another one of your hangouts but you guys are dressed more fancy and you’re on a rooftop for some reason LOL

from: jungkook (5:59pm) — Okay

from: jungkook (5:59pm) — She says she’s almost here

from: jungkook (5:59pm) — Do you think I should’ve picked her up instead of her meeting me here

to: jungkook (5:59pm) — …you rented out a rooftop for her i think she’ll survive

you pause, setting your phone face down on your lap before letting out a yawn and leaning your head against the window

you got up far too early this morning and the gentle rumbling of the bus down the highway is very soothing

google maps said the journey to your stop was about 38 minutes which means you have approximately 35 minutes to take a quick nap and the remaining 3 minutes to wake yourself up so you won’t be too groggy after hopping off the bus

you’ve worked hard today, so you deserve a little snooze!

your right eye peels open when your phone buzzes again

from: jungkook (6:04pm) — Omg she’s here early

from: jungkook (6:04pm) — Okay

from: jungkook (6:04pm) — Wish me luck and also thank you for everything you are the best

a smile twitches at the corner of your mouth and you can’t help but think to yourself that yes, i am kind of the best, aren’t i?

to: jungkook (6:04pm) — yes yes

to: jungkook (6:04pm) — good luck!

to: jungkook (6:04pm)— :-)

another yawn slips past your lips and you tuck your phone into your purse before leaning your head against the window again and shutting your eyes

an additional benefit to getting some sleep on the bus is so that your brain won’t start to flood with reminders that jungkook doesn’t like you like that and that you are currently sitting on a bus going to get flowers for him to give to another girl-

okay, that’s enough of that, your teeth grit together slightly and you clear your throat, crossing one leg over the other as you get settled into the stiff, itchy seats, a quick power nap and then the overthinking can begin again.

»»————- ♥ ————-««

“excuse me-”

your eyes open immediately at the feeling of someone shaking your shoulder and you sit up straight, clutching your purse tighter to your body as you look up to see the bus driver smiling down at you in mild concern

“morning!” he jokes, raising an eyebrow before clicking his tongue and nodding towards the opened doors, “end of the line, miss. gonna have to ask you hop off.”

what?

in your half-asleep state you can’t help but wonder what you’re doing on a bus and where you were meant to be going in the first place… is the date over? are you heading home?

“end of the-“ your heart plummets to your stomach at the realization that you took more than just a little snooze because you are, in fact, at the end of the line when you were supposed to be at the flower shop and heading back to jungkook’s apartment now, “wait, end of the line?!”

“i’m guessing you missed your stop? happens a lot when people fall asleep on the bus.”

“i- yes-“ you pull your phone out to check the time (and your heart nearly stops beating when you see that it’s 7:13), “i was supposed to get off at crown street, how far are we from crown street?”

“not too far-“ the bus driver hums, “about fifteen-“

“minutes?” you get up from the seat, starting to make your way towards the door but still looking at the driver

“blocks.” he sucks some air in through his teeth, “fifteen blocks away. if you walk from here, it’ll probably take you about… twenty-ish minutes or so to get to the crown street stop-”

“twenty-ish minutes, twenty minutes is nothing, i can make it in ten if i sprint-“ you mutter to yourself, pulling your purse up over your shoulder and turning to smile at the bus driver before hopping off, “thank you, sir, enjoy the rest of your night-!”

it’s only a second later that you find yourself sprinting down the sidewalk, your runners smacking loudly against the concrete as you keep your purse tucked tightly underneath your armpit

unbelievable! something just had to go wrong tonight, didn’t it?

and it certainly doesn’t help that it’s drizzling right now — you don’t even have an umbrella with you!

“so stupid, shouldn’t have fallen asleep-“ you look up briefly when you hear a rumble of thunder, stopping at the crosswalk and slapping the button multiple times as if it’s going to make the walk sign appear faster, “c’mon, c’mon…”

you jolt when a flash of lightning lights up the sky before suddenly-

“oh, come ON!” rain suddenly starts to pour down from the sky and you resist the urge to just fall to the ground and completely give up because it seems like the universe is actively trying to tell you that what you’re doing is clownish behaviour and you need to stand up

of course, because one of your more prominent traits is your innate stubbornness, you pull your purse off your shoulder and raise it above your head as if it’s going to stop you from getting completely soaked

rainwater starts to flood into your shoes as you jog across the street and the feeling of your socks increasingly getting wet sends a shiver up your spine

you pull your purse back onto your shoulder and keep it tightly held under your armpit once your arms start to get sore — you’re already completely soaked so using your purse as an umbrella seems pretty redundant at this point

“don’t know why i didn’t bring a stupid umbrella with me either!” you huff to yourself, wiping your hair away from your face as you cross another street after looking both ways (safety first), “fall asleep on the bus, gets caught in the rain- stupid, stupid-“ you grumble, reaching up to wipe under your eyes and pressing your lips together in frustration at the wet mascara ink staining your fingertips

wonderful

just wonderful

and now you probably look demonic as well

you pick up in pace when you recognize the street the flower shop is on, speeding up even more when you notice someone standing in front of the doors with a set of keys in their hand looking very ready to close up shop for the night

“woah, woah, wait! wait, please!” you call out and the person immediately stops, looking over at you and then taking a few steps back in what seems to be mild fear, “so sorry, i just need to pick a bouquet up, i know you’re closing but i really need this bouquet- and-“

“did you run here?” he asks, looking you up and down as he adjusts his grip on his umbrella, “…you do know it’s raining, right?”

“yeah, i- woo, give me a second to catch my breath-“ you pant, bending over and putting both hands on your knees, wincing to yourself as your lungs constrict in your chest, “i don’t remember the last time i ran like this, jesus christ- i think i’m going to puke-“ you force yourself to stand up straight again, placing a hand on your hip as you continue to suck in puffs of air, “i need to pick up an order.”

“oh, wait! you’re the girl who’s in love with her friend, now i remember who you are-“ his eyes light up briefly before the deadpan expression returns to his face, “sorry, champ. we close at 7:30.”

“it’s 7:29,” you choose to ignore his first comment before holding your phone up to his face and he immediately deflates, “come on, yoongi- it’s yoongi, right? please. give me a break.”

“i’m just tryna go home-“

“please, my friend’s date is tonight and he was supposed to pick up his flowers this morning but then he went to the gym so he forgot even though there was a sticky note on the fridge reminding him to-”

“wait, you’re picking up his flowers for him?!” yoongi asks, eyes widening again before he throws his head back in a laugh, “hah! oh my god, you- you’re actually kidding me, this has to be a joke-“

“i will give you five glowing stars on google reviews if you let me in-“ you pant, wiping strands of wet hair away from your forehead again, squinting slightly because the rainwater has now fully fucked up your vision and yoongi is starting to look like a dark blob, “even though your customer service skills suck because you’re clearly laughing at me and i really thought you’d have the decency to share your umbrella considering the fact that it’s pouring-“

“my customer service skills are fantastic, you should see the way i flirt with all the older ladies who come in-” yoongi jingles his keys in his hands before checking the time on his watch, “they always leave with $15 silk ribbons on their bouquets and a boost in their self-esteem-“

“we’re wasting time here, i’m supposed to be back at my friend’s place like, now-“

“alright, fine.” yoongi sighs, shoving the keys back into the lock before clicking his tongue, “but i’m only doing this because i feel like saying no to you is equivalent to, like, leaving a puppy out in the cold or something. or stealing candy from a baby and then shoving the baby off of its high chair. or, like, taking a chainsaw and destroying a nice old lady’s rosebush in front of her for no reason while she’s standing there with a pitcher of iced tea for you-”

“alright, i get it, you pity me, just let me into the store and give me my damn order.”

“did you really run all the way here?” he asks, opening the door to let you in as he closes his umbrella and shakes the excess water off before shoving it into the holder

“i took the bus but i fell asleep and missed my stop. ended up at the end of the line and i thought running fifteen blocks would be faster than waiting for the next bus.” you breathe out, your shoes squeaking obnoxiously against the marble floors as you step into the shop and leave a generous trail of rainwater behind you

yoongi deflates slightly at the mess you’re leaving behind you and he quickly reaches out to grab onto your elbow, “do not take another step. i literally mopped up before closing and you’re leaving a trail everywhere.”

“sorry, sorry…” you apologize sheepishly, taking a step back closer to the front door and looking down at the puddle growing around your feet

you reach up to squeeze some water out of your air, freezing when you realize you’re just squeezing more water onto the ground for yoongi to mop up

yoongi gives you an unimpressed, blank stare before shaking his head and flicking the lights on, “there is nobody in the world i would ever run in the rain for. hell, there’s nobody i would even ever run for in general.”

“well, i’m sorry your heart is made out of literal ice and you don’t have the ability to feel love for another human being.” you respond sarcastically, yoongi turning around with raised eyebrows

“hey, for someone with an icy cold heart, i didn’t have to let you in, i could very well kick you out right now because i already clocked out for the night-”

“okay, sorry, i’m sorry- just- if i could just pick up the order, i’ll get out of your hair, i’m sorry-“

“why are you doing this in the first place?” yoongi asks as he gets settled behind the front desk, switching the monitor back on, “also, i promise i’m not stalling because i also want to get out of here as soon as possible, i just need to check what your order number is-“

“because jungkook forgot to pick the order up this morning.” you respond as if it’s the most obvious answer in the entire world (because to you, it kind of is)

“well, i get that, but you still didn’t answer the question.” yoongi hums, tapping on the keyboard and hitting the enter key obnoxiously

“sure, i did.” you frown, “i answered your question. i’m here because jungkook forgot to pick up the order this morning. he’s on his date right now and i told him i could pick it up for him. he’s on a date.”

“with another girl.” yoongi murmurs, propping his chin up on his palm, “you are picking up flowers for jungkook to give to another girl because…”

“because i’m his friend.” you feel your eye twitch slightly out of a mixture of growing frustration and impatience, “you have that order number yet? i’m on a time crunch here.”

“…okay, i think all the rainwater must’ve flushed the logic out of your head…” yoongi purses his lips as he gets up from the seat, offering you an overly polite customer service smile, “please wait here while i get your order from the back. i would offer you a glass of cucumber water and an apple rose whatever cinnamon pastry thing but we are technically closed, so you’re just going to have to stand here and wait.”

“funny.” you raise an eyebrow, about to squeeze some water out of your top before stopping yourself (you’ll wait until yoongi disappears to the back and then you’ll do it)

you’re picking up flowers for jungkook because you’re his friend

and on top of that, not only are you his friend, you’re a very good friend of his!

he would do the same for you if the roles were reversed (well, if the roles were reversed, you would’ve never forgotten to pick up the flowers so jungkook would never have to run in the rain to pick them up for you)

what does yoongi mean by why are you doing this?

isn’t it obvious??

if anything, he’s the one with no logic in his head if he can’t grasp the simple answer to his simple question

you’re doing this because you’re jungkook’s friend, and this is what friends do when they care about each other

“okay, one more time- what are you doing right now?” yoongi pops out from the back with a beautifully wrapped bouquet and an adorable little white teddy bear with a pink heart as its nose and you can’t help but pout sweetly at it

you know you said the teddy bear would be a little much but looking at it now… you want one too!

“picking up a bouquet and a teddy bear.” you point out, holding your hands out to take them from yoongi

“picking up a bouquet and a teddy bear for…”

“for my friend…” you trail off, making grabby hands at him only for him to pull back slightly

“for your friend jungkook because…”

“why do you care so much about this? you don’t know me and what i do is none of your business, your job right now is to hand me a bouquet and that teddy bear and you’re not doing a super good job if i’m being honest-”

“you’re right, i don’t know you, but i’m nosy as hell and you seem nice even though you’re oblivious as hell- you’re so close to the answer, too! what are you doing right now and why are you doing what you’re doing?”

“what are you doing right now? and why are you doing what you’re doing right now??” you snap, looking at the little clock sitting on the desk, “i’m running very late, just give me the damn flowers, man-“

“alright, fine.” yoongi deflates, handing you the bouquet and the little bear before shaking his head and turning around to grab the mop from the back, “guess you’ll figure out the answer on your own. by the way, let your friend know that if he wants to order another bouquet for you to pick up that we now have an online ordering form so he doesn’t even have to come in store anymore- by the way, i can lend you an umbrella if you didn’t wanna run in the rain again because like i said, our customer service is-” yoongi spins around and immediately clams up when the only indication that you were even here at all are the two dirty shoe marks staining the white marble floor and the puddle of water around them

he shrugs to himself and clicks his tongue

oh well

…you still better give the store a five star review.

»»————- ♥ ————-««

the journey back to jungkook’s apartment is a little less chaotic than the journey leaving his place, thankfully

you managed to get to the bus stop right as the bus came, and if anything, you took that as a sign that the universe was now on your side

it was rewarding you for being such a good friend!

of course, you still got caught in the thunderstorm jogging back to jungkook’s building from the bus stop (according to the forecast, it’s supposed to rain all night long) and the bouquet is a little soggy and the little bear’s fur is kind of matted now, but you tried your best to keep them dry under your sopping wet jacket, “alright, kook, don’t worry, i’m coming-“ you mutter, going up the stairs two at a time and ignoring the fact that you’re leaving a wet trail behind you

you can’t help but shiver at the feeling of cold, wet clothes clinging uncomfortably to your body, pausing when you accidentally use the bear as a makeshift towel to dry your face

“shit, whoops-“ you pull the bear away instantly, relieved to see that you didn’t leave any streaks of makeup on it

your legs slow down as you reach the steps leading up towards the door to the rooftop, and you pause at the top of the steps when you hear a melodic giggle from outside amongst the rhythmic pitter patter of chubby raindrops splashing against the cement

sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth as you slow your movements as to not make too much noise and ruin the moment, you press yourself against the side of the stairwell and crouch down on your hands and knees, placing the bouquet on the ground by the door and the little bear right next to it

the only thing to do now is turn back and head home before you catch a cold from staying in your sopping wet clothes, but the sound of jungkook’s laugh makes your ears perk up and soon enough, you find yourself crawling up the additional three steps up so you can peek through the crack between the door and the frame and-

kissing

almost instantly, your mouth goes dry and you feel a sharp pinch in your chest at the sight of jungkook and ji-eun kissing, their lips seeming to slot together perfectly as ji-eun curls up closer to jungkook and he reaches up to cup the side of her face, the two of them looking nice and warm (and dry) in the bubble tent as raindrops continue to bounce off the top of it

your eyelids flutter slightly as your brain catches up to what you’re looking at, and just like that, everything hits you like a ton of bricks

what the fuck am i doing?

you are crouched down in the stairwell like a creep, sopping wet from the heavy rain, still exhausted from sprinting fifteen blocks to get to the stupid flower shop before it closed, staring at the boy you love kissing someone else on a rooftop that you spent all day decorating and setting up

you look down towards the bouquet and bear, swallowing the lump in your throat as your eyes begin to glaze over because oh my god, what are you doing?

the bouquet of flowers is not for you

the cute little bear is not for you

the bubble tent and the fairy lights and the porcelain plates and fancy cutlery — all of it isn’t for you, it’s for someone else, it’s for ji-eun

ji-eun is the one that’s kissing jungkook right now, not you

in fact, it’ll never be you because jungkook doesn’t like you

you turn around so you can sit on the steps properly, folding your arms over the tops of your knees and propping your chin up on top of them

jungkook does not like you back

you helped him plan this date and you helped him set up the rooftop for his romantic date with ji-eun and you ironed his shirt and you ran in the rain to get the bouquet and the bear not just because you’re a good friend — you did all of this because you are hopelessly, hopelessly in love with jungkook and you would pluck all the stars in the sky for him and put them in a jar if he’d asked

“oh my god, y/n.” you breathe out, pinching the bridge of your nose as you shake your head in dejection, “what the fuck are you doing?”

you feel that all too familiar prickle in your nose as you get up onto your feet and head down the steps one by one, your heart heavy in your chest as you adjust the strap of your purse over your shoulder

(and as you stare up at the ceiling when you’re in bed later that night after taking a nice, hot shower and shoving your cold, wet clothes into the hamper, you can’t help but wonder if perhaps you’ll be pining after jungkook for the rest of your life.)

»»————- ♥ ————-««

from: jungkook (1:08am) — Thanks for getting the flowers and the bear for me you’re a lifesaver

from: jungkook (1:08am) — Like actually the best

from: jungkook (1:08am) — So grateful to have a friend as good as you

from: jungkook (1:09am) —The date went really well btw

from: jungkook (1:09am) — Hope you’re sleeping well :) Will text you tomorrow

🎙️ tell yoongi to mind his own business or console y/n (talk to my characters!)

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!)

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series like smitten!)

🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

480 notes · View notes

johannestevans · 8 months

Text

So you finished Our Flag Means Death…

What show do you want to obsess over now?

Also read on Medium / / Read on Patreon.

So, Our Flag Means Death, unexpected workplace romcom chock-a-block with anachronistic 18th century fun, piracy on the high seas, gay and trans and otherwise genderweird and queer characters, not to mention neurodivergent and disabled ones, is over for at least another year. You’re aching for something of a similar flavour to fill the gap — especially if, like many of us, the finale has left you disappointed and eager to watch a show with a bit more care for its queer audiences.

Want recs?

After finishing Our Flag Means Death, I’m in the mood for…

Ed cradling Stede’s face in S1 of Our Flag Means Death. Via IMDb.

… more (relatively) light-hearted queer comedy!

The most obvious example I can start with is, of course, What We Do In The Shadows. While its fifth season was weak, its sixth season was in my opinion its best ever — a spin-off of the Taika Waititi-directed (and starring) mockumentary film of the same name, WWDITS is a fun-filled, ridiculous and deeply silly show starring a variety of incompetent and bumbling and blood-thirsty vampires and their various friends, enemies, and companions. It’s constantly and continuously queer, with the majority of the cast of characters being openly bisexual, and one of them being gay and having an emotive coming-out arc with his family.

Nandor (Kayvan Novak) and Guillermo de la Cruz (Harvey Guillén) in WWDITS. Via IDMb.

WWDITS follows the adventures of Guillermo de la Cruz, fat and gay and badass and so fucking pretty, the familiar to a vampire named Nandor the Relentless, a big himbo ex-warrior plagued by insecurity and ready to enter in power struggles with anybody from a fellow warrior to a household appliance, and the rest of Nandor’s household — Laszlo Cravensworth (once an English aristocrat, still a dandy, charming, slutty, and well-spoken — and often tinkering with experiments or DIY), Nadja of Antipaxos (once an impoverished member of a Mediterranean village, dramatic, intelligent, sharp-witted, and wry — and often getting involved in various misadventures), and Colin Robinson (an “emotional vampire” who feeds by boring those about him, dull, mundane, and painfully cringe at all times in the best of ways). As a mockumentary, its tone is silly and light-hearted, but it’s not without its emotional stakes, and there’s so many references to other pop culture vampires.

The BBC’s sitcom, Ghosts, is a great sitcom to go for if you’re in the mood for more of a neurodivergent found family vibe, with sumptuous costumes and a complex and intriguing cast who have a lot of wonderful moments with each other. The show follows Alison and Mike, who inherit a manor house and find when they start to refurbish it that it’s full to the brim with silly, ridiculous, and unrelentingly friendly — not to mention antagonistic — ghosts. Ghosts, like Our Flag Means Death claimed to be prior to its S2 finale, is a tremendously loving and kind show — it spends a lot of its time building up flawed characters and encouraging them to change and grow, giving you time as a viewer to love them.

See any familiar faces? Many of the Ghosts cast also appear in Horrible Histories. Via IMDb.

The show is not as continuously or constantly queer as WWDITS, but it does have elements of queerness dotted around the main cast, particularly in the character of the Captain, the ghost of a WW1 soldier who was never deployed abroad, but spent his time in service yearning for the intimate company of a fellow soldier.

Brendan Scannell and Zoe Levin in Bonding. Via IMDb.

Want something a little weirder, a little kookier? Crave a bit more of the BDSM flavouring around Our Flag, more whips, more leather, more latex, more kink? You might like to try Bonding — this show features a woman who begins moonlighting as a dominatrix and then employs her gay BFF as her assistant. It suffers from the tendency shows like this have to sideline Pete a bit as the gay BFF, with some of his characterisation being squandered to prop up the less interesting protagonist, but it’s really funny and honestly super heartfelt.

And if you want really weird, really kooky, and unabashedly and delightfully and wonderfully queer, there is always The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, which is a gorgeously funny and loving gay comedy that you can watch online!

Apart from those above, you might like to try Special (a sitcom exploring the romantic and sexual misadventures of a deeply selfish and flawed character a la Stede Bonnet, this one a young gay man with cerebral palsy), Schitt’s Creek (a sitcom about a posh family falling on hard times and featuring several queer characters, particularly the bisexual David Rose, played by Dan Levy), and Grace and Frankie (a show about two ageing women who are best friends, and whose husbands leave them to start a romance with one another).

… more of the stunning cast!

You’ve watched Our Flag Means Death and you’re craving more of the spectacular and incredibly skilled cast.

If you want more of Nathan Foad (Lucius Spriggs) particularly, you’re in luck — last year, Foad wrote and served as executive producer on a show loosely inspired by his early life as a weird boy growing up gay in Nottinghamshire, Newark, Newark. It’s very silly, funny, full to the brim with love, and also deeply silly and willing to get in touch with the cringe side of life. It’s only three episodes, but starring the unparalleled Morgana Robinson as the harried mother of Leslie, the closeted-but-not sixteen-year-old who is trying desperately to lead the tragic gay life he’s seen on TV, it really makes the most of that limited runtime, and it’s so fucking good. Nathan Foad even has a cameo in it as a freaky and overfamiliar employee at the bowling alley.

youtube

He has a cameo in another great show, too — Bloods is an incredible sitcom about two NHS paramedics working in an ambulance together. It’s rapid-paced, it’s messy, it’s horrible and hilarious, and it stars Jane Horrocks as Wendy across from Our Flag’s Samson Kayo (Oluwande) as Maleek. The two are chalk and cheese in the front seat of their ambulance together, and Kayo is so incredible in the lead role balancing Maleek’s own desire to appear as cool and tough whilst also being vulnerable and having his own insecurities, especially because Wendy challenges him on so many points. Wendy is great as well, the two an exercise in contrasts, but Kayo and Horrocks are spectacular among an equally spectacular cast — you get to see so many different dynamics at the depot and in other settings, amongst other NHS staff, and the show is non-stop with the punches and the punchlines. If you really enjoy how well-balanced and how fitting the soundtrack to Our Flag is, you’ll love the music and its pacing in Bloods. Foad’s cameo in this is as Wendy’s neurotic and kind of a fuck-up son, and he’s so messy.

If you want more of Joel Fry (Frenchie), he stars in the first few seasons of Plebs — this is a goofy comedy set in Ancient Rome, and it’s not dissimilar to The Inbetweeners in its tone and content. Some of the jokes are funny, sometimes. I don’t recommend it because it really gives Joel Fry his full acting chops — but he’s hot and he’s funny and he’s cute in this, and even if you’re not super passionate about the show, if you like Frenchie, you probably will like Stylax too.

Joel Fry and Con O’Neill (Izzy Hands) also both play characters in season 2 of Ordinary Lies, which is an anthology series, so you don’t need to watch season 1. The premise of the show each season is that the narrative jumps between characters in a workplace and explores the ramifications of the small lies they tell themselves and each other. While O’Neill’s role is a more typical set of lies that concerns adultery (or not), Fry’s involves vigilanteism and attempts at superheroism, and the plot is quite fun. This show is obviously a drama, and is tragically heterosexual on many points, but for all that, has its good and intriguing elements too.

But what about Con O’Neill doing what he’s good at — playing wet, pathetic men? Very wet, very pathetic men? In Happy Valley, O’Neill plays a gloriously wet and pathetic man named Neil Ackroyd, who enters into a relationship with the protagonist, Catherine Cawood’s, sister, Clare. Clare is an alcoholic in recovery, as is Neil, and they have a really sweet and mutually supportive relationship — Neil’s particularly gorgeous in the most recent series, where he really dotes on Catherine’s grandson, Ryan, and he and Clare play a great duo. Neil is introduced in the beginning of season 2.

The premise of the series is that Catherine Cawood, a police officer in Yorkshire, is attempting to solve crimes while at the same time her grandson, Ryan, is curious about and desires to make contact with his father, whom he has never met. Ryan’s mother was raped by his father and died by suicide after Ryan’s birth, whereon Catherine raised him alongside her sister. Happy Valley is a cop show, and Catherine Cawood is really funny as a character. She’s a deeply conservative and cruel, reactionary woman who constantly engages in police brutality whilst trampling over people’s rights — she believes that people are born evil and bad, effectively, and while she often talks about the effects poverty have on people’s outlooks, lifestyles, and actions, she can’t quite make that connection with her beliefs. As a cop show, it’s really interesting because it’s very pro-cop and tries to be on Catherine’s side for much of her crueller actions, but at the same time is so starkly blunt about the awful shit she does that it doesn’t exactly make you put faith in cops no matter the intent. Clare Cawood, and then Neil, are naturally far more critical of Catherine’s perspective.

But if you really loved Izzy at his best in S2, if you love Izzy full of love whilst also being precise and cold and calculated in the defence of his family, if you love him beautiful and wonderful and unabashedly queer, you’ll undoubtedly adore Val, who appears in Uncle as the transfem and gorgeous dad of Gwen. Uncle isn’t a great TV show, it’s an example of one of those shows where they give a deeply dull cishet white dude who feels insecure a show where he sort of masturbates about how much he sucks and how he’s unlovable, but really, isn’t it on the people around him to love him anyway?

But Val is great. She’s so much fun, she’s funny and sharp and full of quips, she’s flirtatious, she’s hot, and she has some tremendous gender stuff going on as well as some gorgeous costuming throughout. If you like Uncle’s humour, watch all the episodes — if you don’t, just skip everything that doesn’t have Val in it. Val is where the good stuff is.

Or don’t watch it at all, and just watch this scene pack on YouTube:

youtube

Taika Waititi appears far more in great movies than he does TV shows, although he’s also one of the producers on Reservation Dogs, which is excellent — it’s a native-led and starring comedy series, and it rocks. Most of the time when Waititi does TV, it’s in cameos.

Apart from the cameo he makes in the What We Do In The Shadows TV show, I mentioned in the sitcom section, Taika Waititi also appears in the Flight of the Conchords TV series, starring the band members of the band of the same name. Rhys Darby also appears in every episode as Jemaine and Bret’s fictional manager, Murray Hewitt, and Murray is such a fun, bizarre character — and with a wholly different facial hair situation than you might have imagined for him before.

Wholly different facial hair. Via IMDb.

… more sailors!

Pickings are slim for a good pirate show, or indeed, any good show with nautical flavours to it — scenes at sea are high budget and hard to shoot, and as was evident with much of Our Flag Means Death’s second season at the hands of HBO Max, many studios do not want to proffer the budget for such things.

Let’s start with the best of recommendations — a show that’s unapologetically queer, anti-imperialist, anti-establishment, and full to the absolute brim with pirates, historical and fictional. Interested in Mary Read, Anne Bonny, Calico Jack, Benjamin Hornigold, Israel Hands, or of course, the inimitable Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach, real historical pirates who are portrayed and played with in the course of Our Flag Means Death, and want to see a very different take on them? Enjoy lesbians constantly scheming to kill each other, torture each other, and generally make one another miserable (sexual)? Read Treasure Island, perhaps, and ever wonder what came before?

Not-Yet-Captain Flint (Toby Stephens) and Thomas Hamilton (Rupert Penry-Jones) in Black Sails. Via IMDb.

Black Sails has all of the above and more — while it is very queer and anti-establishment, I will say that it’s far more similar in tone to Game of Thrones than to OFMD. The comedy bits are hilarious in part because the stakes are so high, but Black Sails is firmly a drama, and a gritty, violent one at that. It lacks the escapism present in OFMD — there is constant and continuous sexual violence, brutal gore and brutality, racism, classism, deep misogyny and homophobia from the society around the characters. The characters on offer are varied and complex, flawed, and interesting, but your mileage may vary with how much you vibe with them.

Making use of some of Starz’ old set pieces for Black Sails, including some of their ships, the new One Piece live-action reboot — an adaptation of the anime of the same name (itself an adaptation of the manga) — is a fast-paced, fantastical, and colourful new release. If what you loved about Our Flag was its playful relationship with real-life piracy and chronistic details, its flexibility with “reality” and its eagerness to play around with tropes and expectations, with its creation of found family through a ragtag and varied mix of individuals. What it isn’t, unfortunately, is textually or explicitly queer, let alone as unabashedly queer as Our Flag and Black Sails are respectively.

HMS Terror and HMS Erebus sailing through the surface ice in The Terror. Via IMDb.

If you’d rather have queer sailors at any cost than having ones that aren’t explicitly queer, there is, of course, season 1 of The Terror. Based off of Dan Simmons’ magical horror reimagining of the real events of the lost ships in the Arctic, the HMS Terror and HMS Erebus, the first season of this anthology horror series is itself a deeply anti-imperial story following the events of two British ships that become stranded on the ice whilst attempting to discover the North-West Passage, and in so doing poison themselves and the land and people around them. Stuck in place in a cold and unfamiliar environment that does not have sufficient resources to sustain them — and in any case, an environment and resources that as invaders of, they do not know how to live in relationship with — they are hunted by an Inuit spirit, a representation of and manifestation of the imbalance they’ve caused by their mere presence.

The Terror has a few more explicitly gay dynamics in the book than in the TV show, but the show does feature an unstable, cannibalistic bastard of a man whose favourite hobbies are identity theft, violence, and emotional manipulation — and he’s gay. Representation win!

As you might imagine from that description, The Terror is not a cheerful, happy show — it’s deeply violence and very at home with hopelessness, but has some fascinating exploration of British imperialism, whiteness, class dynamics, queer men on ships, and chilling horror.

And it’s not a TV show, but I would be remiss if I did not mention and recommend Taika Waititi’s favourite romance movie — Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003, dir. Peter Weir). Based off of Patrick O’Brien’s long-running Aubreyad, starting with Master and Commander, this film is about Captain Jack Aubrey and his duet partner and best friend (wink wink) Stephen Maturin, the ship’s surgeon. It’s a gorgeous film and while of course not explicit, it’s pretty fucking gay — although unlike the other pieces I’ve mentioned, as Napoleonic-era fanfiction about British navymen, it’s not nearly as critical of British imperialism as one might like, with the majority of the criticism coming from Maturin, and might leave a poor taste in the mouth compared to pieces more critical of the British imperial evil.

… more queer period dramas and historical shows!

Anne Lister (Suranne Jones) contemplating her hat and gloves. Via IMDb.

Let’s start with a historical drama — Gentleman Jack, starring Suranne Jones, is set in the early 1800s and is an biographical look at the life of the cryptic diarist and all around delightfully butch lesbian dirtbag, Anne Lister. Apart from the obviously intriguing concept, the show has some sumptuous costuming and set designs, and there are so many different characters and dynamics throughout. I’m always a sucker for an epistolary piece, and as it’s based off of Lister’s diaries, this show has a lot of epistle work throughout.

If you’re a sucker for lesbians in period dramas, though, you might just like Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries — the eponymous Phryne Fisher is not the lesbian in question. She’s a flapper and private detective in 1920s Melbourne, complete with a little golden gun, and is very hetero — but her best friend, a doctor named Mac (short Elizabeth MacMillan), is gay, and she’s so much fun. Where Phryne is really high-energy and excitable, constantly jumping from idea to idea, Mac is a lot chiller and more smooth, and she’s so suave and so much fun. Miss Fisher is a fun show — alas, a cop show, but it’s a lot more light-hearted, and it does a lot of playful stuff with the period and particularly with costuming details and things like cars, weapons, and various inventions.

Getting dressed and leaving the boytoy still abed. Via IMDb.

If you’re open to a miniseries that’s a lot dirtier and nastier than much of the above, have I got the recommendation for you: A Very English Scandal. Starring a relatively innocent and easily manipulated Ben Whishaw across from the deliciously greasy and depraved Hugh Grant, this is a dramatisation of the Thorpe Affair — a political scandal in the UK in the late 1970s — and it’s so fun and so sexy. If whilst watching Our Flag you’ve been giggling and kicking your feet whenever the more fucked up shit goes on in intimate ways, you will almost certainly delight in this one.

… more of… something. Surprise me!

You might have heard of NBC’s Hannibal, which is a gay take on the dynamic between Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham, but the same creator, Bryan Fuller, also did Pushing Daisies, which is a gorgeous 2-season show that was cancelled long before it ought have been. It explores intimacy at a necessary distance, and has some wonderful queer themes throughout, and stars Lee Pace.

The new TV adaptation of Anne Rice’s books, Interview with the Vampire, is glorious — it’s openly and unabashedly gay, it’s so full to the brim with depth, and unlike other shows I can mention, it really doesn’t try to shy away from the cruelty of abuses in intimate relationships, or try to shift the blame for abuse entirely onto the back of the victim in a last-minute attempt to foster more sympathy for the abuser. Interview goes so deep into the loneliness and isolation of being separated from society’s mores and expectations, of how that isolation leaves you at much more risk of leverage and abuse by intimate partners, of the brittleness of found family under heavy pressure, and alongside all of that, like…

It’s a vampire show! It’s sexy! It’s full of blood and horror and misery and grief — the grief of being alive when you should be dead, and at the same time, being halfway dead when you seem to be alive. It’s funny and it’s dark and it’s just full to the brim with poetry, has some honestly gorgeous dialogue, and on top of all that, it’s well-paced, beautifully costumed, and tremendously shot and scored. Watch!

Looking for queer movies, as well as TV shows? I have a big rec list of gay movies here:

#musings #our flag means death #i'm gonna write about how shit the ofmd finale was and what a pisstake it was in the week #but in the meantime here #have this #watch a better fuckin show #Youtube

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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What does your BFF Cindy think of your obsession with craft projects? Do you ever try to make her into one of your craft projects?

She likes when I make her tea and hot chocolate and put little flags in them with silly designs like "fairy princess" or "pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty." She is very "special girl" about that.

I have literally never asked her to try to be one of my craft projects, because it would be socially awkward

#yudkowsky #12ozpuddingcup

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ultfreakme · 6 months

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Can I ask for advice? I read your answers to ask, and it seems about random thing too (not just fandom characters)....So, I just got into JJK this year, and my friend is estatic (they were a fan for almost 3 years). They ship yuuta/maki, choso/yuki and gojo/utahime (I think the first 2 ships are cute and I don't mind either ships, too). But when I told them that I ship gojo/getou, they become defensive and told me, "but they're only bffs and it's only platonic relationships and bromance. It's not BL you know..." and I was iritated like, it's okay to ship what we like right? Do you think I should hide my love for this ship from my friend and preted only like het ships, too?

P.s Love your analysis on JJK (especially satosugu and itajun). Now I get more of the story, because of your blog. Thanks to you I also ship ItaJun 😄.

Also your answer to that anon (who loves BL /GL more than het romance), I kinda get their feeling. I'm so grateful to found your blog... Hope you have a wonderful day...

Absolutely not don't hide your love for satosugu! A ship doesn't have to be from the BL section to be mlm. Someone sent me an ask talking about how Blue Flag's end couple is two boys and it was published as a shonen manga.

I'm gonna be a bit of a bitch....and say well Gojo/utahime, Choso/Yuki, Yuuta/Maki can't be shipped because JJK is shonen, it's not romance or shojo. Also they're all bros and friends too! None of those couples said I love you, none of them kissed or really hung out all that much and none of these are canon(although tbh I would argue that based on subtext and a billion comments from anime production and creative staff it practically is) so......

Okay bitch moment over.

You're nice to your friend and their ships despite being ambivalent about one, they have to show the same courtesy to you. They don't have to start shipping it too but like it's just good friend behavior to be accepting. If it's a point of tension, it's best not to argue over it, or try to convince the other person of something. If your friend can't hear you out and dismisses you entirely, THEY are in the wrong, never you.

Also, I've often hid my own interests and loves in the past because my friends were super judgemental(like, "oh ew how could you like anime?" or "oh gross that's two boys/girls that doesn't work"). None of them stuck around me long and I wasn't happy being friends with them. I was miserable pretending to be something I'm not, even if it was something as silly as my interests.

Nowadays though, I do have friends who don't get shipping but they're respectful about it. End lesson; Don't ever change yourself, how you express yourself or your interests for another person. You are totally valid for liking the things you do and if others can't accept that, that's their problem. If they can't let this go or keep telling you to not talk about it or try to change your mind....well I hate to be extreme and this is worst case scenario, but, ditch em, there's better people out there who'd take you as you are.

Thank you so much!!! I love doing metas and analysis like it makes the experience so much richer and there's new depths to enjoy~~ glad you enjoy it!! This is super sweet <3<3 (\^_^/)

The BL/GL thing is so relatable and I think more recently, a pretty common experience for people in the anime/manga fandoms. I used to feel super alone with it but hopefully because of social media we can all feel a lot better in knowing we're not alone. When it comes to fiction, just do what's fun and makes you happy.

Have a nice day too anon!!!

#riki asks

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webslingingslasher · 4 months

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bff... i need ur perspective on this :’) this is rly long srry just take ur time! reply whenever u feel like it, or not<3

here goes another 🧚🏼‍♀️ lore from 2023 JSNFNDKJSHS

i had a crush on this guy around may-july 2023.. things were going rly well like he reciprocated my energy toward him, bantering here n there, and he was such a gentleman like yk basic stuff - opening doors for me, picked up n fixed my bag for me when it fell even if he didn't have to lol, always checking on me and helping me with hw (we were classmates), and he also prevented me from being seenzoned in the gc we were both in by telling me in our dm he'll reply to me in the gc ?? like for the sake of not being seenzoned,, i didnt mind at all but ok 🫂 he also mentioned that he prayed for me one time bc i was so stressed out w life and he prayed i won't be stressed anymore, n that i need to look after myself.. my ex-bffs thought it's silly and it wasn't an excuse to like him (??) but that time i thought it was sweet. i didn't have any evidence to think or know if he was lying or anything so.. 🤷‍♀️ i was just happy abt it and i thought, if things fuck up, i'll just deal with it when we get there.

and anw yea we were basically in talking stage, stayed up to talk and he was still the first person i talked to when i woke up haha and we also made time to see each other like we rly planned and included each other in our schedules to hang out.

good stuff right.. but like one time when we were getting to know each other (in person, my ex-bff was there with us), he told us he has a sister. but the next time we hung out, just the two of us, we talked abt video games and told me he'd watch his brother play. so i was like "oh so u have 2 siblings? bc u have a sister too" then he said "huh? no, it's just me n my brother" and i was like "???? wym u said u have a sister.." then he said "really? i said that?" TF DKKSJSJDJS.. even my ex-bff confirmed he said sister when the 3 of us hung out so im not making it up... n all my other friends told me thats just sus bc why be sus about family... i mean he sees them everyday?? and it's basic knowledge to know ur family 😭 my dad even said he might've lied and said he has a sister to make him seem like a green flag (assuming he'd know how to respect and properly treat women)

could be an honest mistake, sure, it happens. my friends and i even considered that his sibling might be non-binary or trans and maybe he wasn't in the position to tell us, that's understandable. but idk he still told me 2 diff things and i can't rly have someone who doesn't stand on what they say or do to me, like telling me one thing then another (i have severe trust issues..)

the thing is, when i start to doubt someone, especially when i think they lied and if i think they aren't genuine people, it's over. like that's my dealbreaker. (goes for my ex-bffs too)

so like... after that, whenever he msged me i became dry until i didn't open his one reply to me anymore. so i ghosted him.. he never msged after that, assuming he felt like he couldn't approach me.

i feel bad. like serious. im more bummed abt him than what happened w my ex friends ngl bc he rly was nice and i liked him, we were good until that. but there's sm uncertainty and i'm sure i hurt him bc he gave clear implications that he was interested in me. i'm assuming he also doesn't know what happened bc obviously i didn't confront him, so it's unfair for him.

i thought abt confronting him and to just be friends with him at least, i did. but i also thought - he would either apologize or say something that will make it okay to solve things.

1) even if he apologized, i'd have to wait for changed behavior. thing is, i only give one chance when it comes to trust, and i feel like that was ruined already, somehow. i mean, i can have disagreements with anyone about anything and it's fine, we can work through that. but if there comes a point where the trust is ruined, i'm done, and i can't wait around for changed behavior. it'll take up my time, and it's kinda unfair bc i never lied to him or gave him reasons to feel weirdly about me. it's not even hard to tell the truth about simple things.. also, why wait around when there's better, honest, and more genuine people out there (this also applies to my ex bffs) 😐 also if i wait for changed behavior, i'd basically be trusting him again to not do anything like that again. but he alr lost my trust to begin with so ?? lol

2) if he would say something to make it okay, i'd be giving him an advantage, and i'd be forced to stay with him, allowing him to think that what he did was fine.

3) i thought about being friends with him at least but i didn't rly want a liar friend or a friend that i'd doubt.. i don't want to have to doubt anyone's character in my circle... i don't need the stress.

my guy friends told me the bar was low and i deserve better, and i probably doged a bullet bc if he lies abt small things.. what about the more serious things? and it's a situation i didn't need to be in. like fr, no one's usually sus with their family 😭😭 so why put me thru that when no one else experiences it.. tf

but anw.... months later, around november actually, he added me in his close friends on ig ?? i only saw a couple of stuff like anime, class stuff, idk, nothing weird or anything. i think he removed me tho later on. but today i think he added me back LOL. i also noticed he'd check my stories once a week 😭

so like.. what the hell does that mean LMFAO we haven't talked nor seen each other in person since july. that's 6 months..

i didn't remove him from my socmeds in case we happen to be classmates again and work together and in the future as well. thought abt removing him but i might need the connection in the future for business bc we're entering the same field after all.. 🙇‍♀️

i'm not even mad anymore but like huh JNBJDSJHS

but anw yes. what do u think of this... is there anything i should do or not. speak ur mind please 🎙️ tysm ily

(this also just gave away that i'm avoidant. sorry. it comes from trauma😂 working thru it though. i believe i made an improvement when i confronted my ex bffs n broke up w them which happened after i ghosted him.. rip)

-🧚🏼‍♀️

oh my god girl.

he didn't say he was derek jeter, he said he had a sister. and then told you later on he only had a brother. if he wanted to lie, he'd continue the lie. instead, he confronted it and moved on. you didn't.

i have three brothers. i have gotten names and ages confused my entire life. it seems like an honest mistake and he acknowledged it. i'd get if it was a big lie, but it seems like this was a slip of the tongue.

maybe he was thinking of a friends sister.

maybe he was thinking his brother was a bitch.

maybe he was nervous.

we don't know. you just stonewalled him. long story short, if you want to at the very least be friends with him, let it go. if you can't, leave him alone.

what does it mean? he liked you. but i don't know if he still does.

#like girl i promise you it's not that deep 😭😭😭😭#🧚🏻‍♀️ anon

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fbfh · 1 year

Text

dad!Robert and sister!Sophia Quinn + Quinn!reader hcs - the fosters

wc: 1.5k

pairing: dad!robert quinn + sister!sophia quinn + quinn!reader

warnings: vague allusions to reader having a rough life before living with the quinns, sophia has bpd, robert and sophia both adore you, jill hates you, sibling shenanegins with sophia, robert is trying to be a good dad, brief mention of playing just dance while your parents divorce, I think that's it??

genre: familial fluff with hints of crack and angst

a/n: hey girl I'm hyperfixating on the fosters again! daily reminder that you're faves live in disbelief of how loveable you are! as with the previous fosters hcs if you don't know why you were tagged its bc of the domestic/found family trope!!

@youkissedareaderinthedark @girlfriendwhoseawitch @mrscarolscaramoucheplease

Okay assuming you have a backstory somewhat similar to Callie's

Meaning you didn't know your dad was actually Robert Quinn until recently and through a variety of circumstances he's fighting for custody of you

It's going to be…… interesting

Honestly Sophia is messy enough for her own tlc show

And Robert is so desperate to make up for lost time and be worlds best dad

And Jill?????? Jill detests you

So there's obviously going to be some silly antics

Shenanigans if you will

When Robert first sees you he has to try so hard not to cry

You look so much like your mom, the love of his life

She really was the one that got away

He feels like he has a piece of her back now

And he is so determined to be there for you now

He’s not letting you slip through his fingers again

You now have more emotional and financial support than you ever did before

Once you’re comfortable enough for it to not be weird he will absolutely give you a credit card for literally whatever you want

One of his love languages is gift giving so when he sees you and Sophia going on shopping sprees together

When he gets texts from you asking if you can get something you want or food or something

Even though he’s reassured you a million times you don’t have to ask

He gets so happy

He’s so happy to know he can take care of you and provide for you now

He wishes so badly he could have been doing it from the start

But he’s just glad he found out as soon as he did instead of another ten years later

Also if there’s anything you ever wanted to do and didn’t have the money or opportunity to

Surprise

Robert has already signed you up for figure skating and ballet and your violin will be arriving at the end of this week

He just loves spending time with you and Sophia

He loves spending time with both his kids

It makes him happier than he ever thought he could be

And oh my god Sophia??????

She always wanted a sibling

And now she has one

And it’s literally the fucking coolest person in the world?????

She is so desperate to be just like you

For you to think she’s cool too

She wants to be like super mega close sibling bffs with you

She wants to have sleepovers and share secrets

She doesn’t really realize that that requires a lot of work and time to achieve and you can’t really jump straight there with enough enthusiasm

You might need to be a little patient with her and set some boundaries

But she’s just really excited to finally have a sibling yk

Roberts parents (and probably Jill) will accuse him of being a little obsessed with you

But he’s just trying to make up for lost time yk

Sophia however actually is a little obsessed with you

They all but explicitly stated she has bpd

You can probably tell pretty soon that she’s a little mentally ill right off the bat

Like you’re not really one to miss red flags yk

One good thing about how much they both care about you and how much influence you have in your new family is that if you tell Robert you’re worried about Sophia

He will take that totally seriously

Even if Jill doesn’t or thinks he’s overreacting or Sophia is being dramatic

Robert will start watching her a little more closely and realize you’re right

He’ll get her into therapy so she can get help before things get worse

He’ll get you in therapy too if you want/need it

That’s one of those moments that really solidifies in his mind that you’re meant to be part of their family

His kids looking out for each other yk

Also once her she starts getting better and some of that obsession burns away

You’ll be able to have a really great relationship with her

It’s so fucking hard for her to not copy everything you do

Like once you move in she wants to decorate her room like yours

She always wants to borrow your clothes and copy your style

She thinks whatever you like to do is absolutely the elite hobby/extracurricular

And oh my god if you like horses too????

Her two favorite things have just combined

Robert would absolutely get you a horse so you two can go riding together

She brags to all her friends at Archfield about how fucking cool you are

Eventually you end up getting to have all the classic sibling experiences you didn't have with each other

Late night talks about life and mental illness and existentialism

"Can I borrow your top" "No" "Please :(" "Fine"

Basement just dance battles to the death while Robert and Jill are divorcing upstairs

You show up to all each others events and hype the hell out of each other

Your texts are half just sending each other tiktoks

"You" "dad" "dad and Jill" "us" "your horse"

She sends you a lot of astrology memes and incorrect quotes of your signs

She gets so excited whenever you consult her about your personal life

You send her a screenshot of texts asking if it passes the vibe check

It does not

She loves talking mad shit with you

About people from your schools and extracurriculars

Sometimes about Jill

Robert is trying to make it work with her

He really is

But she fucking hates you

She refuses to even give you a chance

And you know he's never going to pick anyone over his kids

Especially not after everything yall have been through

You and Sophia both sort of know it's a matter of time at this point

Jill is one of those handful of almond moms who will antagonize you for almost anything

You can't even swear around Jill bc she doesn't like it

She won't even let Sophia say oh my god

So whenever you swear around Robert and Sophia it's like a little inside joke

Even when you let out a long string of substitute swear words when Jill is there they still find it hilarious

Because they know what you'd be saying if she weren't there

"Butt…muncher on a pogo stick!"

They find it hilarious

Jill is not amused

Sometimes Sophia looks up your old neighborhood on Google maps and imagines what your childhood was like

What it would have been like if you were raised together

There are tons of trees she imagines you'd climb together, sidewalks to ride your bikes on, places to play hide and seek

Sometimes Robert looks at your old neighborhood and has to try not to cry

His baby was that close this whole time and he had no idea??

They're both just really glad they have you now

That you have each other

Also your birthday????

It's practically a national holiday

Sophia bases half her gift planning on your birth chart and the other half on every piece of information she's retained about you

Robert is lowkey celebrating the whole month

He feels like he has a lot to make up for and he's not going to let this day be anything less than spectacular

God help you if it's your sweet 16

He is going to to so fucking ham people are still talking about it years later

Sophia gets so fucking excited if your birthdays are close together

Like so fucking excited

She has a little count down on her phone to "quinn siblings birthday season"

It becomes a tradition for each of you to team up with Robert to plan the other one's birthday

Instead of the standard birthday parties Jill would throw and invite half of Sophia's class

And a bunch of adults to network with

This year you and Robert surprise her with a day full of horseback riding and shopping and devil's food cake and all her other favorite things

And a Fiona apple concert over the weekend

If this is what birthdays are supposed to be like she thinks she's been missing out

And for your birthday?????

They plan a whole week full of surprises

Sophia's been making careful mental notes of all the stuff you want to do and go see

Suffice it to say it's the best birthday you could have wished for

For Robert's birthday you and Sophia plan to surprise him with a bunch of crafts and handmade presents he probably would have gotten from both of you if you'd found each other sooner

You make craft paper turkeys and macaroni necklaces and casts of your hand prints

You buy white ties and color them in with paint markers

You even mark your heights on the doorway of his office

He cries so fucking hard

He loves it

He loves his kids

It's the second best present he's ever gotten

The first will always be you and Sophia

#the fosters #the fosters x reader #the fosters headcanons #robert quinn #sophia quinn #literally no idea what else to tag this lmao

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disaster-demon · 20 days

Text

Yeah you've got a best friend but do they encourage you to be your faggiest self and also buy a flag just so you don't feel like you're on your own? D o they offer to help you carry things because you're in a wheelchair? Do they tell you they love you no matter your gender or presentation? Do they unquestioningly use your new name, pronouns and gendered terms without you having to ask even once? Are they your biggest cheerleader for everything even your silly goal to kiss lots of men at pride? Have they constantly had your back since you were babies? Do they put up with your complaining and lvoe you nonetheless? Can you go literally 5 years without seeing each other face to face and then meet and it'd like you never had a break?

Not as good as my bff then, tbh.

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reading-giraffe · 1 year

Text

Review: Throne of Glass

🌶️

Celaena Sardothian is the nation's fiercest assassin. She is removed from prison camp by the order of Crown Prince Dorian, and escorted to the palace by Head of the Guard Chaol Westfall. Dorian and Chaol are bffs and both have their eye on Celaena. Meanwhile, Celaena is thrown into a competition with other assasins and criminals so that the winner is identified as the King's Champion. Celaena is promised that, if she wins, she will earn her freedom after serving as the King's Champion for a few years. So she gets her feet under her during her time at the palace, trains with Chaol, learns some history with Dorian, and becomes friends with Princess Nehemia. While she goes through the competition trials over the course of several weeks, she grows stronger and more aware of the politics at play. She also makes some unique discoveries about the palace and its relation to ancient fae rulers.

---

FMC: Celaena is 18 years old, so tbh a little difficult to relate to on that front. HOWEVER I live for the badass Celaena is!! The trauma she has been through forged an absolute battleaxe of a woman. She is cunning, clever, angry, silly, and flirty. I am a huge fan. Of course, it's important to remember that no one is that self-aware at the ripe age of 18. But this is SJM and fiction we're talking about here, so reduce your expectations.

MMC: Dorian Havilliard is the cheeky, intelligent, good man SJM loves to write. Hot DAMN this man is such a flirt! That, and he always gives Celaena her space and choice. He feels protective over her, but not possessive. As if he cares about her so much that he wants to protect her from threats but won't ever overstep as to suffocate her to protect her. He's always supportive of whatever she does. From reading endless books, to eating 3 pounds of candy, to staying up all night just talking about the world, to GIVING HER A F*CKING PUPPY from his own kennels that he runs. GAH he is such marriage material.

MMC: Chaol's cute. He takes a back seat for the entire book because Dorian takes his chance with Celaena the whole time. But it hurts watching his best friend with the girl he has a crush on. His crush grows as he trains with Celaena. He gets to watch her grow, recovering from being a skeleton to being a fleshed-out woman is very rewarding for him. But something that SJM is SO good at is disguising a good man as one with some red flags -- which I can tell she did in this book. Chaol looks like the protective, broody guy who pines for his best friend's girl. But his loyalties lie with the King: the same man who ordered the brutal execution of Celaena's parents. He grows feelings for Celaena, battles himself when it comes to trying to keep her safe (not knowing where the boundaries are and being deathly afraid to overstep), and is confused about where he should place his loyalties. Which, honestly, I get. But he could handle the situations a bit more gracefully instead of being so paralyzed that he misses his opportunities.

---------

Would I recommend this book? Yes!

The plot is *chef's kiss*. SJM has an infinite imagination, apparently. Plus, her characters are just...f*cking awesome.

This is a young adult book. No spice whatsoever, except for some kissing. So, basically, the whole book is a goddamn tease. Sadly, I suspect the rest of the books in this series will be teases as well. But the plot is so good, so I'll stick it out.

#books and reading #booktok #romance #bookish #booklover #romance books #sarah j mass #sjm #throne of glass #celaena sardothien #dorian havilliard #chaol westfall #nehemia ytger #young adult romance #fictional romance

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cybernaght · 2 years

Text

The Oath of Love, known in my house as the Oafs of Love: a half-way review of sorts.

余生，请多指教 s is a long-awaited adaptation of the novel of the same title which details common-or-garden “boy meets girl” romance, in all its silliness and glory.

The trailer for it was shown as early as spring last year, when the leads won the King and Queen of Weibo night. A year later, the drama itself dropped without any fanfare on not one but two streaming services. Rakuten Viki shows original cut of forty-five to fifty minute episodes, and WeTV streams TV edition episodes about seven minutes shorter than that. While the content is largely the same (there might be micro differences in editing, but this is not the Untamed Special Edition situation), the cuts between episodes themselves differ. As usual, the VIP streaming is a few episodes ahead of the free release. If you want to shill out for just one of the platforms, WeTV, while being an inferior cut with no theme song, is slightly ahead of Viki; and also has an advantage of having insta-subs, while Viki takes a while with their community-sourced subtitles.

As an adaptation, it’s an interesting one, at least judging by what had been translated of the source material, which is the first 54 chapters of the novel. Seemingly, the producers decided to licence the book and then change everything about it. The novel is this sedate, glacial, cozy and almost cryptic in its narrative tale of fated love, written as a diary. The main characters meet, they like each other, the get together, the stay together. That's more or less it.

The drama, while keeping some dialogue from the novel (as in the gif above) is more of a Regency romance story wrapped in layers of contemporary rom-com tropes. There are a hundred misunderstandings per minute. There is an enemies to lovers relationship. There is a conniving romantic rival. There is a scheming BFF. There are no less than three sets of overbearing parents.

There is a child who ships the main couple. There is inherent romance of bandaging a head wound, followed by, in no particular order, by inherent romance of sharing a jacket, headphones and an umbrella. Basically, think of a single trope of the genre and I guarantee that it will be here.

Our heroes are Lin Zhixiao (Yang Zi), a music student who seems to do no course work but is hell bent on being the world’s greatest cellist. One day she bumps into Doctor Gu (Xiao Zhan), and then, due to her father’s illness, she keeps bumping into him again and again. The way he is introduced was best described by @supernovasimplicity as “Mr Darcy vibes”, which was right on the money.

In the B-plot we have Zhixiao’s best friend Sansan (Li Muchen): a foxy, fierce kind of a sidekick; and Gu Wei’s cousin Gu Xiao (Zhao Zilu), who is your typical rich oafish playboy with a heart of gold. The later have a very Stalking For Love kind of courtship, which would have been very yikes, if not for a sparkling chemistry between the actors and Zhao Zilu’s bountiful charisma.

The weirdest thing about this whole show is that, if you look at it on paper, it sounds kind of trashy. The main relationship is built entirely out of misunderstandings, and the secondary one entirely out of red flags. The world of the show, so to speak, has nothing to do with reality. This includes, but not limited to: really weird scheduling and lifestyle of the leads; all but cackling maniacally antagonist; hospital setting which has so little in common with the way hospitals actually operate that counting all the laws it breaks per episode makes a special kind of entertainment.

And yet, for all of that… this show is incredibly charming.

The characters are not always consistently written (love how out girl Zhixiao fluctuates between being a filial child that is a mistress of all housework to not knowing the first thing about basic chores), but they are a joy to watch. You end up rooting for all of those silly humans because they are just so gosh darn adorkable. All the cast members seem to have a lot of fun with the material and bounce off of each other beautifully. For all the overbearing parents tropes, the familial relationships are very well developed. A lot of the scenes have a wonderful detail in writing and directing that makes them feel real, operating largely on subtext. The show is decently shot and snappily paced. it’s saccharine, but not at all indulgent, and not afraid to poke fun at its own romantic notions. The comedic elements of the show are genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. It’s just plain fun to watch.

Is the Oath of Love the best drama known to mankind? Hell no. But it is, ultimately, a moreish, enjoyable, giggle-worthy romp. Sometimes, that’s more than enough.

#余生，请多指教 #the oath of love #review of sorts #cdrama #xiao zhan #now with gifs

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lunaticsandidiots · 2 years

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hi! so for the sending chars stuff, Zsasz?

send me a character and i’ll list…

favourite thing about them: his razor sharp wit. my man is so naturally funny and nobody gives him any credit. plus he likes disco which is the biggest green flag in my books (everything else about him is a red flag ok let me have this). also anthony carrigan/zsasz is the reason i got into gotham (i saw him in Barry as Noho Hank and needed more)

least favourite thing about them: the lack of episodes he’s in xx

favourite line:

brOTP: zsasz and headhunter. i feel incredibly robbed that there’s no assassin bff sitcom spinoff, i could watch HOURS of them being silly little murder himbos together.

OTP: i really don’t think i ship zsasz with anyone in particular now i think about it …..

nOTP: i also don’t not ship zsasz with anyone…

random headcanon: zsasz feels repulsed by physical contact but its actually just because he’s just super duper touch starved (and he has deeply repressed this). he’s so used to isolating himself that even the way he works/fights is detatched - he loves guns because he doesn’t have to be anywhere near the person to get the job done. (also i simply melt into a puddle at the thought of caressing his cheek or resting your hand in the crook of his neck and he just nuzzles into it like a kitten)

unpopular opinion: again, i truly couldn’t care less about who other people ship cause u just gotta float ur own boat, hell its not even a nOTP for me but some people used to be really annoying about zsasz and alvarez lmaooo. i havent seen anyone do it in so long but i swear people used to be like ‘zsasz is in love with him it’s canon’ like no it’s not he’s just horny and bisexual and wanted to piss off gordon and bullock lmao (i truly have 0 idea why this annoyed me but it did, let me be cranky for 0 reason xx)

song i associate with them: Лёха by Alena Apina

this is such an oddly specific & niche song, but its lowkey exactly how i found gotham, like this song marks the DAY. just after i finished barry & wanted more anthony carrigan content (before i knew he was in gotham) i found an edit on tiktok of zsasz set to this song. and the rest is history.

favourite picture of them:

i also love the gif of him doing a little kiss face out the window but i couldn’t find it

send me a character and i’ll list…

#gotham #victor zsasz #ask #ask game #ask z #character ask game

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themonkeycabal · 3 years

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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier ep 2

Spoilers!

Last week Bucky was a terrible patient and his new BFF is the father of a guy he killed while he was the Winter Soldier (so super healthy), Sam gave up Cap's shield and returned home to try to help salvage the family business (that went poorly), and some — I guess he must be from the Defense Department — dick made a big speech about needing heroes and he gave the shield to some goober (John Walker, but he'll always be Goober to me) in a Cap suit who strongly reminded me of Langly from the Lone Gunmen. (I'm not familiar with the actor, so I don't know what he actually looks like, but the helmet and the camera angle did him no favors at all, I'm just saying. Super punchable.)

Oh, and Sam has an adorable little minion named Lt. Torres who is getting himself into trouble with some weirdass terrorist group who like to slap red handprints on everything.

Zemo's out there lurking, too, but we haven't seen him yet.

I'm still slightly dazed that this show is real and we get to watch it.

Ep2: The Star-Spangled Man

Weird slow-mo opening shot of a close up of somebody unzipping their jacket. I mean. Okay. (Ohhh, it's the garment bag the Cap suit is in.)

And then we're on to Goober, he's wearing BDUs and he's in a football locker room (maybe high school?), fondling the lockers. He peels a name sticker off one, and underneath it says JW 10. A woman comes in and asks if he's reliving his glory days. They yada yada I don't care.

Now I guess they're talking about him becoming Captain America. "Everybody in the world expects me to be … something. And I don't want to fail them." She tells him to be himself and that they're gonna love him. Well, I've already decided he's a goober. I mean, he might not be, but he's got a hill to climb with me.

He spends a few seconds trying out his Captain America voice, then his buddy Hoskins comes in to talk him through it and give us some exposition. "Two weeks ago we were prepping for a special ops mission to Chile and now this."

Goober whines about how it's been handshakes and meetings and senators and whatnot and he just wants to get to it. But his buddy is all, that's part of the job man. Gotta glad-hand, too. You big baby (he doesn't say that part).

"You can't just punch your way out of problems anymore." Well, I mean, I think that was Steve's MO, mostly. That and 'hit it with the shield until it stops moving'.

Nu Cap is making a big showy thing at a rally at his old high school (Custer's Grove HS, GA) stadium for Good Morning America. He's still looking punchable in that helmet. But, they do bring out a kicking marching band, so there's that. It's a boring GMA interview. I don't care.

"John Walker, first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor. Ran RS-One missions in counter-terrorism and hostage rescue. The government did a study of your body at MIT and you tested off the charts in every measurable category — speed, endurance, intelligence." (I legit laughed out loud. Lookit Captain Gary Stu over here)

Blah blah super humble yada yada. Just wants to make people feel safe, he has sooooo much respect for Steve Rogers, yada. Look, he could be a great guy and maybe I'll warm to him. But not yet!

Back in Brooklyn, Bucky's watching this and his face is all "No! No? What the shit is this? NO! NO? WHU NO?! No." Also, Bucky, I know you have a couch, why are you sitting on the floor? Love yourself just a little bit, dude.

In Louisiana Sam is in an Air Force hanger, staring at a garish 'Cap is Back' poster and looking a little queasy. Rhodey told you, subtly and not really directly, to not give up the shield, buddy. I hope when Bucky gets there the first thing he says is "He gave the shield to *you*, dummy. Not Captain Gary Poppins over there."

Torres says Nu Cap seems like a good guy. Sam's like, uh-huh, sure, so anyway. There's another "cap is back" poster and Sam's like 'ugh'. And they're off to Munich. I guess for the Flag Bros. Hey! There's Bucky! Finally, they're in the same scene. It's been nearly sixty minutes of screen time to get to this moment, Marvel. No, I wasn't counting.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield." lol. Hi Bucky! You forgot to call him a dummy.

Sam's like I haven't got time for this. And Bucky points to the umpteenth Cap is Back poster (seriously? Good lord.) "You didn't know that was going to happen?"

Sam did not know that was going to happen. "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

Bucky will not let this go. "You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." You tell him!

But, Sam's kind of not in the mood. Look, I get it Sam, you didn't feel equal to the shield, but Steve gave it to you because he knows, my dude. Trust him. Come on.

But, he's feeling very raw about this, right now. "This is what you're not gonna do. You're not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights." Well, ouch.

He says he's got bigger things to worry about, but that seems unpossible to Bucky "What could be bigger than this?" Terrorist douchebags wearing funny masks in Eastern and Central Europe. Well, fine, Sam; be all puts-things-in-perspective guy.

Redwing traced the far-too-strong maybe leader to a place in Munich. For some reason Bucky does not have good feelings about Redwing. Uh-oh, Bucky, you're going to extra hurt Sam's feelings.

Oh lol, it's the "Big Three" convo. "What big three?" "Androids, aliens, and wizards." Still funny. Sam's so proud of himself.

"I'm coming with you." "No, you're not." Bucky went with him.

Did they glare at each other the whole way to Munich? lol. I love this show so much already.

"Enjoy the ride, Buck." "No, you can't call me that." "Why not? That's what Steve called you." "Steve knew me longer. And Steve had a plan." lol, Steve Rogers never had a plan a day in his life.

Bucky wants a chute, but Torres who wisely stayed out of all of that, is like we're way too low for a chute. "I don't need it anyway." Then Bucky drama school bitch rips off the left sleeve of his jacket and jumps out while yelling like the dumbass he is. And he hits every branch of the dumbass tree on his way to the ground.

"I have all of that on camera, you know that right?" And Redwing zooms by to hovers over Bucky. So, maybe it's not a mystery why he doesn't like Redwing. lol.

Bucky and Sam meet up at a dilapidated warehouse in the middle of the forest. Only good things ever happen in dilapidated warehouses in forests. Like extra shady weapons smuggling. Bucky's gonna stalk after them. Sam messes with him a bit.

"Look at you all stealthy. A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther." lol. ilu Sam. "It's actually White Wolf." "Huh?" heh. What he won’t tell you, Sam, is that he earned the name from the kids near his goat farm who liked to spy on and giggle at the grumpy growly white guy.

"Hello. How are you?" "Great. What did I miss?" They're a delightful disaster! And they bicker and bicker and ahh, finally.

Also the people they're stalking are hella strong. And then these two idiots knock into an old bit of metal and make some noise. The shady people stop for a mo' but then move on. Sam scans one of the trucks the shady folks were loading (there are two), there's a figure sitting in the back. "There's an eighth person. I think they have a hostage." And Bucky zooms off! And Sam after him.

Bucky jumps onto the lead truck and then just like wanders around inside. I'm pretty sure the truck behind you noticed you, dummy. Anyway, it's loaded with crates marked "keep frozen." "They're stealing medicine. Vaccines." Those utter bastards. He spots a girl peeking out between containers. "Hi." lol, idiot.

He thinks it's the hostage, but I'm waiting for her to kick his butt out the door. She's not, you know, tied up in anyway. So … Also, again, does the second truck not have a radio to the first truck? Like was the driver texting while Bucky climbed up the back of the truck right in front of him? Now he's strangely incurious about the open door?

And, then she smiles at him and kicks him out the door, he hits the windshield of the second truck (maybe they've finally noticed you, Bucky!) and she puts on a mask with a red handprint. As you do. Two guys on the roof of truck 2, pull Bucky up ready to beat him silly.

Super strong girl, jumps over to truck two and punches Bucky some more. The Redwing zooms over and she jumps up, grabs it, and smashes it over her knee.

"I always wanted to do that," Bucky says, sad he didn't get the chance.

Sam shows up, there are more guys on the roof of the other truck. And there's fighting and fighting and then Sam is pinned down and the bad guy gets plonked with the shield and here comes Captain Poppins dropping down out of a helicopter. What timing. The CGI and green screen for this whole sequence are pretty dire. I'm sorry but it's true.

Captain Poppins is joined by his buddy Hoskins. "Sam. John Walker, Captain America." They know who you are, goober. Though, pausing to introduce yourself in the middle of the fight is a very Steve Rogers move, so points for that, Goober.

Lol, the look on Bucky's face when he catches the shield and Goober takes it from him. He's like 'rule two, rule two, rule two, remember rule two.'

Lots of fighting lots of fighting. Bucky is knocked off the side of the truck, he digs in and sort of zippers down the side, and then hangs off the bottom, his head inches from a tire, clinging to the underside by his vibranium arm. A bad guy stomps on it. Um, it's vibranium, guy. Like … though, somehow it works? and Bucky's arm sort of flops onto the road, sending up sparks. Sam does a neat little move, flies under the two trucks, grabbing Bucky as he goes, and knocking them both free. None of that worked out particularly well, guys.

"Could have used that shield," Bucky says helpfully. lol. "Those were all super soldiers, Sam." Well, bummer.

Back on the trucks, I think Hoskins is in trouble. Cap Goober is pulling himself back up. Hoskins is thrown from the truck, but Cap Goober tosses the shield and Hoskins lands on that. Now Goober squares off against super soldier chick. He does not fare well. And he's thrown from the truck to land on the windshield of a following car. You know, if I'm driving down the road and I see people fighting on a pair of big rigs, I don't follow close. You know what I'm saying? I maybe pull over and let them get way far away from me. Anyway, sorry for your body damage.

Bucky and Sam walk along the road, a pair of sad sad heroes who did not have a plan.

"I'm sorry about Redwing." "No, you're not."

Cap Goober turns up in a sorry looking vehicle of some sort. "So that didn't go as planned." Bucky and Sam keep walking. lol

So Goober's vehicle keeps pace with the disaster duo. "We're pretty sure it's one of the Big Three."

Bucky: "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WIZARDS!" That's his hill, he'll die on it.

Since it's super soldiers, and that's bad news, Cap Goober thinks they should work together. Sam's quiet but not thrilled. Bucky is not quiet. "Just 'cause you carry that shield, it doesn't mean you're Captain America."

Cap Goober has apparently jumped on a grenade 4 times. "It's a thing I do with my helmet. It's reinforced." Okay, I laughed.

He persuades them to ride with him, because it's like 20 miles to the airport. It's probably for the best, since I'm pretty sure they might try to strangle each other in five.

"They (Flag Haters Anonymous) say their mission is to get things back to the way they were during the blip." This group's goals are so hazy and weird.

oh, lol. Sam wanted to know how they tracked the Flag Smashers, and Hoskins is like, um, actually, we tracked redwing. "It's not exactly hacking," Captain Goober explains, "it's government property. We're kind of the government." Not winning any points, Goober.

Bucky's just glaring at him. "Does he always just stare like that?" lol

We get a bit of exposition about a group called the GRC, the Global Repatriation Council, which is tasked with helping the previously blipped reintegrate. Sam's like, okay, and? Hoskins explains "they provide the resources, and we keep things stable." The GRC sounds even more make believe than super soldiers, to be honest. But, whatever. Not here to analyze the bizarre and unlikely geopolitics of the MCU. Cap Goober makes a pitch for Sam and Bucky to sign up but Bucky is very firm about his "No".

Hoskins insists he has mad respect for them, but they were getting their asses kicked until he and goober showed up. Um, Hoskins, my dude, you also got your ass kicked.

Bucky stares for a second. "Who are you?" "Lamar Hoskins." Sam insists he needs more than that. "I'm Battlestar. John's partner."

Bucky says Mm hmm. Stop the car. And he's gone.

Cap Goober gives a pitch to Sam about how he's not trying to be Steve, or replace him, he's just trying to do his best and be the best Captain America he can, and it'd be great to have Cap's 'wingmen' on his side. I sense sincerity, but you're still punchable, goober. And Sam isn't buying it either. He shakes his head and laughs bitterly, "It's always that last line." He hops out and follows Bucky.

Elsewhere, the super terrorists have reached a safe house with a way too chatty dude who is trying to make them at home in his dicey looking shopfront. He rattles on about how they're becoming legends and the people love them because they're pushing back! Against … the GRC? I guess?

Super soldier girl (Karli) gets a hate text. "You took what is mine. I'm going to find you and kill you." Well, sleep tight, sister!

One of the other guys has already logged into a computer system and he starts hacking and wiping their info off the internets and interpol, I guess.

"Six months ago would you have imagined people supporting a cause like this?" I'm still very unclear on what your cause is.

Maybe I'm overthinking the silly superhero universe, but I can't imagine the blip world was wonderful. You're missing half the people. So half of everybody who'd do various jobs. So half of the knowledge base of humanity on earth. Half of the experience base of humanity on earth. Half of the farmers, half of the engineers, half of the doctors, half of the people who maintain any system you can imagine, half of the people who build those systems, half of the teachers, half of the factory workers, half of the grandparents who pass down stories and community knowledge, half of the animals, half of the fish, half of the insects and so half of the plants. Ecosystems could easily collapse. Certainly infrastructure did, with half of the people needed to maintain it gone. Cities would have started to crumble, since half of the sources of goods, food, and services were gone. (we did have something of a real-world equivalent in Europe during the Black Death. Things were not nice for quite a long while after the worst years of the plague.)

I'm sure there would be areas that did better than others. But, half of any government gone, half of any police, half of any military. There would be power vacuums and probably shitheads to fill them. I don't see any particular utopia in a blip-ified world.

And that's not even taking into account the psychological damage to all the unblipped. The pure existential horror of half of everything suddenly gone.

But, that aside. I like genuinely do not know what they're trying to achieve.

"We're not playing no more," announces Karli. "We can't let the same assholes who were put back in power after the Blip win." Literally do not know what that means. "The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left." I mean … isn't that literally what they're for? "We got a glimpse of how things could be." Chaotic and apocalyptic? In fairness, I guess if you could carve out your own thing in that, and maybe it could even be good, then you'd be bitter if everybody came back all of a sudden and messed that up. I'm sure the power struggles are real.

"One world! One people!" Okaly-dokaly. Fascinated to see how you eight will achieve that.

Bucky's brooding on a plane, Sam's trying to sleep but the brooding is too much to ignore.

"You alright?" "Let's take the shield, Sam. Let's take the shield and do this ourselves." He's using his almost scary Winter Soldier voice. And staring into the void. Sam, call his doctor. She needs to remind him of rules one and two. "We can't just run up on a man, beat him up, and take it." Good point, Sam. For real, call Bucky's doctor. He's going to the scary illegal place.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?" "Maybe." lol such a petulant little grumpus you are, Bucky. "I'll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded an enemy of the state and Steve and I were on the run for two years." Not everybody was lucky enough to have a goat farm during all that, Bucky. That's what the man's saying.

"We just got our ass handed to us by super soldiers and we got nothing." "That's not entirely true," Bucky says mysteriously. And he jumps down off his brooding crate to go sit next to Sam. "There is someone that you should meet."

Baltimore, Maryland

Sam has a cute aside with a neighborhood kid, then Bucky leads him up to a house that has seen better days. Somebody answers the door and Bucky says they're there to see Isaiah. But, the young guy who answers the door insists there's no Isaiah there. He's not very welcoming. Bucky says "tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here." The things you got up to, Bucky. I do wonder. "We had a skirmish during the Korean war." oh, lol. I mean, I'm sure it's a horrible story, but lol, Bucky you disaster.

Oh hey, Carl Lumbly! Gosh, I haven't seen him in an age. I almost didn't recognize him.

"He was a hero. One of the ones that Hydra feared the most. Like Steve. We met in '51." "If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah." lol

Isaiah says he took part of Bucky's arm in Goyang and he just wanted to see if it grew back. And if Bucky was there to kill him. Bucky says he's not a killer anymore.

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be?" Well, sure. "It doesn't work like that." Oh, but it must, or else what's the point? Isaiah has a lot of reasons to be bitter, though.

"Isaiah, the reason we're here, is because there's more of you and me out there. And we need to know how."

This does not please Isaiah, who doesn't want to talk and throws a can of sardines (or something, I don't know what that was) through the wall. Old but still super solidery.

"You know what they did to me for being a hero? They put my ass in jail for 30 years." Um, wow. "People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren't done with me." Well, that's deeply uncool. He very much wants his unwelcome guests to GFO, and I can't say I blame him.

Sam is super pissed once they get out onto the street. "Why didn't you tell me about Isaiah?" Bucky doesn't answer. "I asked you a question, Bucky." Yikes.

And no, Steve never knew, because Bucky never told him. "So you're telling me there was a black super soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?" I guess so.

And we're interrupted by a bizarre random encounter with presumably racist cops. They stop them in the street, get weird about asking for ID, and then ask Bucky, "is this guy bothering you?" And Bucky's like what in the actual fuck, he looks like a high school chem teacher and I look like the muscle for a loan shark, "no he's not bothering me. Do you know who he is?" Oh to be the Winter Soldier again for just a moment, eh? Anyway, one of the dipshits recognizes Sam and they get all dipshitty apologetic. "oh, Mr. Wilson, we're so sorry."

Oh, lol, they're going to arrest Bucky. There's a warrant out for him, because he missed his therapy session. I told somebody to call his therapist! I want to know which of those dipshits ran Sam and Bucky for wants. Because that’s not automatic or some shit, somebody’s got to call it in.

Sam's like 'well that took a weird turn.'

Sam and Dr Raynor meet at whatever facility they’re holding Bucky. "Thanks for getting him out." "That was not me," the doctor assures him. Nope, it was Captain Goober, who greets the doctor with a wave. "Christina! It's great to see you again." lol. And Sam's day gets worse.

"I heard you were working with Bucky and thought I'd step in. Bucky's not going to be working on a strict schedule any longer."

She's like, uh what? Says who? And he points at himself. okay, again, lol. Though, it’s weird to me how he insists on calling Bucky ‘Bucky’, like they’re buddies. They’re not buddies. Bucky's going to punch him in the face.

"He's too valuable an asset to have him tied up. So just do whatever you've got to do with him, then send him off to me." Will Bucky turn around and go right back into his holding cell?

Dr's not going to let him. "James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam." "That's okay. I'll be out here with…" "That wasn't a request." Poor Sam. He has had THE WORST DAY.

I love Bucky slouching against the sergeant's desk all surly, like a 16 year old who got busted for boosting his grandmother's car.

Dr Raynor settles them all in what I assume is an interrogation room. She tells Bucky she just wants to help him get over whatever is eating at him. I guess she figures Sam could help with that, too?

"We're going to do an exercise. It's something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they want to build together." lol. but of course. a million fic writers deliriously rush to their keyboards.

"Are you familiar with the miracle question?" "Absolutely not." "Of course not." heh "Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you're sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?"

Bucky says his miracle would be Sam talking less. Sam says that's what he was going to say. Dr Raynor is writing fic of her own. "You guys are leaving me no choice. It's time for the soul-gazing exercise." This is the weirdest therapy session ever.

Bucky is very on board. Sam's like 'what have you done? staring? that's his thing!'

"Let's do it. Let's stare. This is a good exercise. Thanks, doc." Bucky, you little asshole. lol

How many takes to do this scene? I can tell they're trying not to laugh. "Take 57. It's 1:30 am, guys. Please, can we get it this time?"

"Wait, what are you doing? Are you having a staring contest?" What about these two men's attitudes walking into the room suggested they were going to be at all mature about this, Doc?

"James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don't say something childish." She knows you too well, Buck.

Oh, Bucky. He wants to know why Sam gave up the shield, because Steve believed in him, gave him the shield for a reason. But, maybe Steve was wrong about Sam and if he was wrong about Sam, then he was wrong about Bucky.

Sam, has his reasons. He says maybe Bucky and Steve can't understand, but he wants to know if Bucky can accept that he did what he thought was right. Poor Sam.

And Sam's had enough. He says they've got bigger shit going on and he'll put whatever this issue is aside for now, and they'll go take care of that, and then he and Bucky can never see each other again. "Thanks doc, for making it weird. I feel much better."

She's like, well shit.

Bucky leaves as well, but she stops him. "I know that look. What's wrong?" "What was rule two again?" "Don't hurt anyone." "Goodbye, doc."

I think maybe she miscalculated a tiny bit.

"I feel better," Sam grumbles. "I feel awful," Bucky sighs.

And down the street Captain Goober and Hoskins starts chirping a police siren at them and they wave them over. "Gentlemen!" I really want Bucky to punch him just once.

Goober wants them to join forces. They're tracking Karli through various displaced communities in Europe. She's the flag stompers leader, I guess? She's like … 16. DOUBT.

Anyway, she's do-goodering by stealing medicine and taking it to the displaced camps. I'm confused. So, post-blip, people who'd not blipped are now suddenly being displaced? I thought the displaced where the blipped trying to reintegrate. But, she was mad at the GRC for only caring about the blipped not the unblipped (which, again is the GRC's raison d'être, so yes?). I feel like I'm missing something.

Bucky snarks at Goober a bit. He's not a fan at all. "Things are really intense for you, aren't they, Walker?"

Sam's like okay, let's all simmer down. "It is imperative that we find them and stop them." But, also, though, he and Bucky are free agents, so they're more flexible than mister "i'm the government" over there.

Captain Goober doesn't care for that. "Word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way." Don't push your luck, goober.

Bratislava, Slovakia

Flag Stompers loading a small plane. Uh oh, they've been found out! Karli asks how much time they have. "None. It's the Power Broker's men." The Power Broker. See, that's the kind of jackassery you get in a Blip scenario. That's what I'm talking about. Did you steal super soldier serum from this guy, Karli? Hmmm? One noble Flag Stomper offers to stay behind and hold them off while they make their escape, for One World! One People! Dream big, kid.

He knocks down a power pole to block the road but then he runs at the badder guys? And gets himself shot a zillionty times. I … he'd already blocked the road? Why not just … you know what? Never mind.

Back to Bucky and Sam and Bucky with an idea that might just be worse than the self-sacrificing Flag Stomper's run-at-the-badder-guys-for-great-justice idea. He suggests that perhaps somebody who knows all of Hydra's secrets can give them the answers they need.

"So you're just going to go sit in a room with this guy?" "Ye-… yes," Bucky says, absolutely oozing with confidence.

Off to see Zemo! I'm sure that will go terribly! Can't wait!

And Credits!

Not gonna lie. I'm not sure how I feel about this episode. It felt a little disjointed.

I don't get the Flag Munchers, but I'm thinking they're just a red herring. Because they're basically utopian idealist twelve-year olds with nice but vague goals and vague iffy means to achieve those goals. I don't feel they're a whole lot more than some misguided kids who grew up in a blipped world and change is difficult and scary (and I’m sure it’s probably managed poorly. I can’t think of anything less efficient than a global council for anything. you could have a global council for dirt and it would be a bureaucratic nightmare). And they probably stole super soldier serum from somebody way scarier. Dummies. I think they're going to need to be rescued at some point. Probably soonish.

As for that other guy. There's moments where I like John Walker a little bit, and moments where I find him really aggravating. I get they want to make him the super-duper bestest perfectest hero, or that’s why he was chosen by the DoD or whatever, but part of Steve's charm was he wasn't perfect. He wasn't Captain America because he won a million awards, he was Cap because he had a good heart. That's the point. THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAP, SAM!

Also, I don't like hard feelings between Sam and Bucky. Though, nothing about their history would suggest an easy friendship (one time Sam was driving in his car and Bucky ripped the damn steering wheel out), so that's not a complaint, it just makes me sad. They really only have a connection because of Steve and he's gone. Be friends, guys!

And finally, when will Sharon Carter return from being an enemy of the state?

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers #tfatws liveblog

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datingdonovan · 3 years

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Hello Cece!! I just saw your new hq game and was thinking it i could join if its still open :)

My pronouns are she/her

Im an INFJ, 6w5 and a taurus, i would describe myself as an ambiverted because my mood changes a lot depending on the vibes i get from the environment, im also very independent but love to be with my close ones, i really like laughing too and im always trying to be nice to people, i also have a crackhead side and smile or cry very easily (im quite sensitive).

My relationships usually dont start bc i feel like something isn’t right, i have some trust issues and i need someone who is always there even if it’s bothering me but never pressures, the biggest red flags that cause me to not want to be with someone are 1. feeling too sexualised, 2. feeling pressured to things and 3. feeling that they don’t care about me, i tend to distance myself without realising so i need someone who is present and makes me feel nice about myself in all aspects

Neway, this game is quite fun and interesting since it makes you realise about how you feel and how you are so i really liked it!! I hope i did it right but if not please let me know through dm :) im also open for chatting anytime!! I hope you have a great week and please remember to hydrate yourself and stay safe <3

a/n: oh my word. took me a sec to think of who to pick but all I have to say is I feel like I have so many random vibes about this man that are maybe not canon compliant at all. I don't really know lol. but he is like, my comfort character ok???? and I feel like In my mind he really really does a lot of what you need and I just had this thought that he's it!!! he's it!! for you so here I give him to you take care of this boy <3 I hope you really enjoy!! im so glad you liked the game and thank you so much for your well wishes! come into my ask box anytime :):)

ok Elena I know it's been a while since you've felt comfortable enough to be with someone and I totally totally get it. I would NEVER try to set you up with someone unless I seriously knew he was a good guy, and I just feel like it's time. it's time for you to try dating again, and you need someone really safe to do that with. so... a little begrudgingly... im gonna get you in touch with my bff... koganegawa

I swear. he is the best. like, the best the best. like, I'm almost sad he'll be spending more time away from me if I set him up with you, but here goes nothing. okay, TOP of the list of why you two should be together: The man is the most easygoing, happy go lucky guy you will literally ever meet. he is so CHILL I swear he's literally so sociable and fun and kind and would never ever ever get annoyed or like frustrated if you were largely calling the shots on what you're comfortable with, the pace you want to go, etc. he's just so laid back he'd be cool with anything as long as it means he gets to spend fun times with a person he enjoys!! and FUN it will BE im telling you!! this man will absolutely indulge every silly and hilarious idea you have and he WILL crack you up on a daily basis. you can 100% expect him to be doing goofy antics with you and all your friends and enjoying every minute of it :):):) he's also super social and very very emotionally attuned to the people he loves, and I think a HUGE thing for him Is making sure that everyone around him is comfortable and having fun, so he definitely would take note of any nervous or stressed behavior from you and try to respond to how you're feeling without being weird about it. truly he just wants his s/o to be enjoying your time together as much as he is so whatever that means for you, he's willing to try it. oh my gosh I think you'd just love him I mean from the calm and comfortable and totally relaxed getting-to-know-you phase to the endless laughs and calming smiles and quiet low-key nights you'll share once you get closer to the totally attentive way he'll always take your feelings and your unspoken mood changes into account, he is truly THE GUY!!! I think you'd love him because he's always down to be funny and make new friends and try new things, but his way of interacting with the world is so welcoming and energizing like he is SO SO chill and stable and so OPEN to suggestions and new ideas and he has this encouraging laid back approach to anything that comes his way and nothing is gonna shake that openminded, open-armed, curious and awed way he lives his life. so like, he will match your energy when you're at your most extroverted and silly and carefree, but he's also soooo open and in tune and ready to help you and respond to your needs when you're feeling down in whatever way works best. like he'd be so fine if you need space or attention or you want him to try some different way of expressing his feelings like as long as you can communicate to him what you need and sometimes even if you can't he'll just figure it out lol perceptive MAN!! he will try it bc he just wants you to be comfortable and be yourself in everything you do including your relationship. never wants you to feel pressured or stressed about being with him. ugh he is a KING. anyway I love him. brb inviting him over to meet you now.

#ask #asks #tatiquichi #:):):) Elena I hope you liked this I love him and I am such a firm believer in infj/enfp sorta supremacy #idk his type but im imagining you two could fit that mold of like #bringing out the best in each other so that you both become 1. more stable and driven and disciplined toward goals but 2. GOOFBALLS #long post #oh my word I love #koganegawa kanji #he is a king he is a king on earth #I hope you love him too bc he would cherish and love you and be there for you always!!!! :):)#sheesh im so jelly of u for getting matched w kogane ok ;) lol #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#also I think I said this before but I kinda think im a 6 not really sure but I always like meeting other 6s so hi :):):):)#here's some kogane for our stressed selves lol #have a great night!!!

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noladyme · 4 years

Text

Chess. Chapter 2

Y/N never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. She only took what she needed, or what she felt others needed. She’d stayed out of sight for a long time, avoiding anything that could get her in to too much trouble. But for some reason Rick Flag shows up in her life, and in an instant, everything changes.

---------------------------------------------------

TW: abuse, language, blood, sexual themes, harassment

The soldiers around me were scrambling, confused. I missed this, I admitted to myself.

G.I. – Flag, Boss Lady had called him – stood, mouth agape, still pointlessly aiming his silly gun, and I couldn’t help myself. I quietly snuck up behind his tall frame, got on my toes, and whispered.

“Cat got your tongue?”.

He quickly spun around, rage in his eyes, and I jumped back, as he struck towards the direction of my voice. His hand swiped at my midsection, fingers reaching the cut on my stomach. He felt it, and I moved backwards quietly, still concentrating on keeping up the mirage, through the pain. Looking at his fingers, he saw my blood on them.

“Goggles!”, he yelled. The Tweedles, and the soldiers storming out of the vans, put on some weird looking glasses. Flag put on his own, and turned towards me, looking straight into my face.

“There you are”, he smiled. Panicking, I ran. I could hear voices behind me, yelling at me to stop. Confusion hit me, as I didn’t hear any gunfire; but fear won me over, so without hesitation, I kept going.

Narrowly avoiding being grabbed by a Tweedle, I scaled the hood of one of their vans, stomping across the roof, and jumped onto the ground behind it.

“She’s outside my 30 foot range”, a voice behind me shouted, as another closer voice answered; “I still got her in sight”.

How are they seeing me?, I questioned myself, realizing their googles must have some temperature device connected to them. They must have gotten those from the Bat. Fuck, I thought. I just had to stay far enough away from them, so that my projection could blend in with the surroundings.

Knocking over a trash can, I sped down the sidewalk. Behind me I heard Flags voice.

“I got her. 20 feet ahead!”, he thundered, running impossibly fast, closing up on me.

I gotta quit smoking, I thought, feeling my heart desperately pump blood and oxygen through my system; keeping me moving, but also keeping up my mirage. I knew I wouldn’t last forever. I’d run out of energy too soon, having to keep up speed and invisibility.

Turning around another corner, I was greeted by a busy street, full of taxicabs and trucks. As it was after midnight, most normal people had gone inside, and were now sleeping behind their rolled down curtains. Had they been looking outside, they’d see a group of soldiers, clad in grey, storming down the street, machineguns lifted, aiming at someone who wasn’t there. I couldn’t help but see the humor in the scene.

Flag was gaining on me, his men following close behind. The sidewalk was cleared of people, except for the occasional lady of the night, offering her service to the cabdrivers. I ran into the street, and almost got hit by a truck whose driver couldn’t see me.

“Shit, she ran into traffic”, Flag yelled. “Spread out! 3 o’clock, 15 feet”. I wanted to smash his stupid glasses into his handsome face.

Crossing the street, I turned, and ran down an alley. My chest heaved, and I had a metallic taste in my mouth. It was a dead end. I was greeted by a graffitied wall, displaying the image of a large grinning mouth, with golden teeth. “Ha Ha Ha” was written in bold script underneath it. This was Clown territory, and for a hot second I didn’t know whether to be more worried about that, than the soldiers behind me.

“Just stop, Chess!”, Flag called behind me. “You have nowhere to run. Just come with us. Now”. His gun raised, he stalked towards me, an angry sneer on his face.

In a corner of the alley, I saw an old dumpster, under a fire escape. “Don’t even think about it”, Flag said, voice calm.

My energy was almost gone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make the jump, if I had to keep up the mirage. I allowed my body to reappear to him.

“I’m not going with you, Joe”, I said with a shaking voice.

“It’s Flag. Colonel Rick Flag. We’re not here to hurt you, but I will shoot, if you take another step”.

“No you won’t”, I said, and ran for the dumpster. I heard a gunshot, and felt the wind from the bullet graze past my head. I jumped onto the dumpster, bended my knees, and sprang upwards, grabbing at the ladder above. I almost reached it, but fell short a few inches, fingertips lightly touching the bottom of the ladder for a millisecond; before I fell back towards the ground, landing hard on my side. Pain shot through my hip, and not a second later; he was on me.

I screamed, growled and hissed, as he pinned my body down.

“Relax, kitten. Just stop”, he said, holding my wrists above my head, and intertwining his legs with mine, holding them in a painful position; worsening the pain in my hip.

“Get of me”, I shrieked. “Let me go. You’re hurting me!”.

I twisted my torso, forcing him to reposition his legs, and lock around mine. He drew my right arm down, and behind me, then forcing it upwards. His other arm locked around my torso, and I used my – now free – left hand, to claw at his face behind me, getting a hold of his hair.

There we were, wrestling in a weird bearhug; as his hips grinded forward, his groin meeting my backside.

“You’re enjoying this, you pervert”, I hissed.

“You wish”, he answered, and forced my right arm further upward, drawing another scream from me.

I made a last desperate attempt to break free, knocking my head backwards, aiming for his nose, but only meeting air; as his head was moved to the side.

“Give. Up.”. His voice was cold and determined.

He repositioned his body, one strong arm around my torso, holding both my arms in place in front of me.

“Get the tranq’”, he called, as a Tweedle came running towards us, with what looked like a piercing gun. I began to shake, not liking where this was heading. Flag grabbed the gun, held it to my neck, and pulled the trigger.

“Just sleep, now”.

Suddenly the world started to blur. I opened my mouth, but not a sound came out of it. I blinked once, but immediately regretted it, as opening my eyelids again was near impossible.

Behind me, I felt Flag loosening his grip on me. “That’s it”, his voice sounded, from far away. I felt his hand sliding down my side, then moving towards my stomach. Finally, opening my eyes, I looked down, head spinning; as he slid his hand down the front of my waistband. Strangely enjoying his touch, I was weirdly disappointed, when his hand moved up again, pulling out the money clip from before. “Get this back to the man at the club”, his faraway voice said.

He let go of me, and I rolled onto my back, breathing slowly. “Tease”, I chuckled at him. The last thing I saw, was him sending me a crooked smile. Then everything went black.

---

Everything after that happened in glimpses. My body was lifted from the ground, and placed in a truck.

I must have been out of it, because the next thing I remembered was my ears popping, and a sharp pain from a needle, being forced through my skin, stitching up the bleeding gash on my belly. I heard helicopter sounds, and felt the weird weightless emotion, of being lifted into the air, and flown; somewhere.

Next it was another vehicle, bumping down a road full of holes. I gasped from the pain in my hip and stomach, and tried to move, but my wrists were firmly held in place by cuffs, attached to the gurney I was laying on. Black again.

Sounds of gates. The smell of wet dirt. Something or someone growling. An accented voice yelling “We got a new toy, mates”. The smell of burning wood. Loud giggles from a voice I knew I’d heard before.

I finally came to, as my body was unceremoniously discarded on a hard floor. I opened my eyes, Examining the room, eyes reaching the door. Catching my breath, I tried to reach for it.

In the door opening stood the woman from the van in the alley, next to Flag, who’s eyes – for the first time – would not meet mine.

“Welcome to Belle Reve”, the woman said. “Once you’ve settled in, and come to your senses, we’ll be back to talk to you”.

I opened my mouth, and tilted my head, trying desperately to come up with a clever answer, but she interrupted my blurry train of thought.

“Y/N. I know you won’t believe me, but this is for the best. Welcome to the first day of your new life”.

The door slammed, and I heard them walking away.

I screamed. I banged the door. I pleaded. I called the people outside every profanity I knew. But it was no use, and I knew it. They’d caught me, and I wasn’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Looking around the room, I saw that it was more prison cell, than hotel accommodation. In one corner there was a hole in the floor, with what was left of a toilet roll next to it. There were no windows, and the only thing resembling a bed, was a thin foam mattress, covered by a smelly blanket.

Suddenly, the lights went out, and it was pitch black.

“Hi, honey”, a voice called. “Look up. See that tiny red dot in the ceiling?”. I did. “That’s me. My name is Griggs, but you can call me Captain. All my best friends do; and, oh, we’re gonna be bffs in no time”. The snarling voice cackled, and then died out.

I was alone.

---

I don’t know how long I screamed, but my throat hurt, and after a while, my voice was hoarse and disappearing

I counted seconds, but lost track, I decided to feel my way around the room.

A scratch and a howl from the speaker next to the red dot interrupted me.

“Careful, sweetheart. We didn’t have time to cat-proof the room for you. There might be some exposed wires on the floor. Old buildings, you’ll understand”.

I crawled to the mattress, curling up in a seated position on it.

“It’s funny, I thought cats could see in the dark”, Griggs voice said. “Here’s the deal. I know you can make it so we can’t see you, so I decided to make it so that you can’t see anything”. I could hear him smile.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get three square meals a day, and I’ll be watching you through this fancy thermal camera Waller gave me, that makes it so I can make sure you’re perfectly safe”. He was leering at me. I could hear it. “I’ll be looking, or some of my guys here will. You’ll never be alone. Whatever you do, we’re here, keeping you company”.

My body was quivering. A small hatch in the bottom of the door opened, and someone slid a small box into the room.

“That right there is a prison grade uniform. I heard that you’re a dancer, so you’ll want to be able to move in it. I made some adjustments to it, just for you. Now put it on. Go on. I’ll turn on the lights, so it’s easier for you”.

The lights flickered on, and cut into my eyes. Inside the box was a tank top, cut, so that it would cover barely more than my chest. A pair of stained orange shorts, and worn slippers completed the outfit.

“I’m not wearing this”, I called out into the room.

“Come on, honey. You don’t want to piss me of”.

“Fuck you!”, I yelled, and kicked the box into the corner.

Loud music, some kind of weird trance/dubstep mashup, with a pounding bass played loudly enough for me to cover my ears.

“Put on the clothes, and put your own clothes in the box”, Griggs voice boomed. “This is my house, sweetbutt, and you’ll respect your host!”.

The music became impossibly louder, and I dived for the box, grabbing the clothes.

“That’s it. Now turn towards the camera, and let me see you”. I did as asked, and started to strip down to my underwear. I was still wearing my glittery dance bra, and ripped jeans; shedding the later, to reveal my black panties underneath.

“Now we’re talking, huh, boys”, Griggs voice laughed; and I heard other voices in the background, jeering along with him.

Quickly, I put on the prison “uniform”, and put my own clothes into the box, pushing it out of the hatch, that had reopened. The box disappeared, and was replaced with a small bowl; filled with small brown pellets, floating around in some water.

“Kibble time, puss”.

The lights went out again, and everything went silent.

#rick flag #rick flag x reader #rick flag imagine #rick flag fic #suicide squad fic #suicide squad imagine #amanda waller

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