#that we will love and trust each other for a long time <33
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a safe haven l ten
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
series masterlist l previous chapter l next chapter
summary: After a long night, Joel and Ellie take you home.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF AN INJURY SUSTAINED FROM AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PREGNANCY, CONVERSATIONS SURROUNDING PREGNANCY LOSS . PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. Ellie and reader are very close to each other, Joel deals with feelings of guilt, Joel and Maria make nice, Joel gives reader a bath and washes her hair, food consumption (i am just gonna apologize to my lactose intolerant folks right now, trust me i must pretend with you), both reader and Joel have some big feelings, reader mentions her deceased father, angst, soft and domestic Joel, fluff.
word count: 5k
a/n: i have not updated this series since october. :l i feel a a mixed bag of emotions updating after all this time, but most of all, i am grateful to know there are a couple of people out there who are still invested in this story. to anyone who has been waiting: truly, it means the world that you have shown me patience, support, and kindness. believe me, i am going to be seeing this story to the end, and it is all thanks to those who continue to show this lil story of mine a whole lotta love. special shoutout to the loveliest human @mrsmando who made me this beautiful mooodboard every single time i got stuck during this chapter, i looked at it and it gave me the boost of inspiration i needed. thank you mimi <33
this chapter is fairly tame, the next chapter is already in the works, and there are a couple of time jumps coming. overall, we are down to the last handful of chapters. let’s finish this story and give these two the ending they deserve, shall we?
“What the hell is taking Tommy so fucking long?” Ellie whines. She’s sprawled out on the couch with her head in your lap, and her arm draped over her eyes. Her feet are hanging, dangling over the edge of the couch at an odd angle after you’d warned her not to get muck from her sneakers on the linen fabric. Despite Joel insisting over and over that she head on back to the house, she had stubbornly refused, not wanting to leave your side. “It’s been over two hours! He’s taking fucking forever, man. What’s the fucking hold up?”
Joel bites back a sigh, masking his own impatience. Or at least, he tries. He’s grown just as restless as the kid, if not more. Much like Ellie, he’s desperate. He’s itching to take you home already, almost too anxious to watch you take that first step over his threshold, and into your new life with him and with Ellie. He aches, aches, to get you settled into the place where you would be spending the remainder of your days with one another, where you would be safe, and loved in the way you deserved to be loved—the place where he would cherish and adore you until his final breath.
“Don’t know,” he answers, his voice sounding rougher, more gruff than usual. Reaching up, he scrubs his hand down the side of his face, adding tiredly, “He might be a while longer, kiddo. It could be another hour, could be more. Like I already told you, s’probably best if you just go on and head back to the house without us, alright?”
“No. I’m not walking out that fucking door unless she’s with me.” She pauses and pulls her arm away from her face for a moment, just long enough to throw a teeny glare his way. “Unless you’re both with me. The three of us go home together, or it’s no fucking deal. Got it?”
He shakes his head in utter exasperation.
“Ellie, we’ll be right here down the fuckin’ road—”
Her hand shoots out and she flips him off.
Just when he’s about to chastise her, he stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. It’s pointless.
Kid’s too goddamn hard headed for her own good, and Joel knows he’s just wasting his breath with her.
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” you reassure them both, weaving your fingers through her hair to scratch at her scalp in an effort to soothe her. “Right, Joel?”
He meets your exhausted, worn down gaze from where he’s standing across the room, and his heart lurches in his chest. As the guilt begins creeping in, he’s forced to look away. He can’t imagine the living hell you had been through over the last twenty four hours alone. And the worst part about it was the realization that last night, while he was fast asleep in bed just a couple of houses up the road, that fucking bastard had his belt wrapped around your throat.
Joel feels sick to his fucking stomach all over again.
Horrifying, vividly real images of you helplessly trapped underneath Luke scratching and clawing at the leather around your neck with trembling fingers, struggling to breathe oxygen into your burning lungs as he tugged it tighter and tighter through the buckle flash in his mind, a gruesome nightmare turned into reality.
Exactly how far had Luke taken it?
Until you had grown too weak to keep fighting?
Until you almost lost complete consciousness?
Until he noticed the life threatening to leave your eyes?
Is that when he had finally stopped pulling on the belt?
Joel shudders, a bitter taste climbing up his throat as it sinks in. He could have lost you—and his unborn child.
This shouldn’t have happened.
He shouldn’t have let you walk away that night.
This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t let you walk away from him that night.
“Joel,” you say his name, quiet and weary.
His head snaps back in your direction and he glances at you, almost missing the subtle shake of your head. It is a silent warning telling him not to go there, though you know by the tight clench of his jaw it’s too late for that.
Joel makes the futile attempt to hide it, but he sees it written all over your face—you know what he’s thinking because you know him like the back of your own hand, and you just know he’s placing all of the blame for what happened to you on his own shoulders.
But can you honestly fault him for that?
How can you expect him not to feel like he is somehow responsible for this? Just how the hell is he supposed to make himself believe he hadn’t failed you?
Joel promised—he had fucking promised you—that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. He had sworn to keep you safe, made a vow to protect you from Luke, but here you are, your soft, delicate flesh marred with the painful evidence of yet another one of his failures.
And it was all because he had let you walk away on that fucking night.
He should have done something.
Even if it meant running the risk of you never speaking to him again—even if you never forgave him, spent the rest of your life angry and hating him for going against your wishes. He should have something.
“Joel—”
“Be right back,” he mutters, lightly shaking his head.
Shoving away from the doorframe he’s leaning against, Joel pivots on the heel of his boot and starts down the hallway. He walks into the kitchen where he finds Maria standing at the counter, tapping her fingers against the smooth, laminated oakwood as she waits for the coffee she’d offered him a few minutes ago to finish brewing. She’d offered to whip up a quick supper, but food was the last thing on everyone’s mind.
“Tommy’s been gone for a couple hours now. Girls are startin’ to get real tired of just sittin’ around waitin’ for him to come back,” he tells her, exhaling the sigh he’d held back in the living room. “What do you think could be keepin’ him so long?”
With her back still to him, Maria reminds him, “Well, he did mention he was going to round up the council and get them together for an emergency meeting.” She lets out a sigh that matches his own—it’s been a long night for her, too. When the last drop of dark roast drips into the glass pot, she carefully takes the pot by the plastic handle and pours the steaming coffee into a speckled, white and blue ceramic mug. “Do you take it with milk and sugar?”
“No thanks, that’s alright,” he declines as politely as he can.
“I also have cinnamon if you’d like?”
“Plain black’s just fine.” He gives her a nod of gratitude when she hands it to him. “Thank you. And I don’t just mean the coffee, but for, uh—for bandagin’ up my hand for me, too.” He clocks the brief look of surprise on her face and almost laughs. He doesn’t blame her for being taken aback, because truth be told, so is he. Since he’d met Maria, he had known she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. There was something of a mutual understanding between them, a silent agreement they had made to keep each other at arm’s length, to only interact when it was absolutely necessary.
Never did he think he would be standing in her kitchen, thanking her for patching up his hand, and for making him a cup of coffee out of the kindness of her heart.
His brother wouldn’t believe it.
“Don’t mention it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back against the counter. “How’s it feel, by the way?”
“S’fine,” he replies, shrugging. “Nothin’ I can’t handle.”
There’s a momentary silence. A taste of tension lingers over their heads, and he knows at one point or another, he’s going to have to address the affair, the very reason everything had unfolded in such a terrible manner.
Guess now’s as good a time as fuckin’ any, he thinks to himself with an inward sigh.
Joel lightly clears his throat. “Listen, since we’ve got a minute alone, just the two of us, I was wonderin’ if, uh—if we could talk ‘bout somethin’? If that’s alright?”
“Of course.” Maria gives him the floor.
“I know that she—” Pausing, he shuffles from the heel of one boot to the other, his ears burning hot. He had known it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have, but he underestimated just how uncomfortable it would be, regardless of what she already knew. “I know she told you and Tommy all ‘bout us, and ‘bout our relationship. See, the thing is, the first time I saw her—”
Again, Joel stops, the burning sensation now radiating, spreading from his ears to his face and down his neck, flushing his skin a deep, deep shade of pink. Unable to meet his sister in law’s gaze, he glances down into his mug, as if he will somehow find the right words to say somewhere in the depths of his coffee.
“It was never my intention, y’know,” he finally says after a minute. “Goin’ after a married woman. I swear, I never meant to fall for her. I just fuckin’ did. I think I might’ve fallen for her long before I even met her,” he confesses. He feels himself darken to a shade of maroon under her curious stare. “And somehow, for reasons I ain’t all too sure I’ll ever understand, she fell for me too.”
Maria raises an eyebrow at him. “Look, I’m not judging you, Joel,” she assures him, shaking her head. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not judging her, either.”
He looks up at her, blurting out, “You’re not?”
She moves her hands to cradle her swollen middle. “Do I wish you two had handled everything differently?” she answers her own query with a nod of her head. “Oh, I’m sure we all do. But I’ve known her for a long time now. I know the kind of woman she is. And I’m starting to see the kind of man you are.”
“And what kinda man is that, Maria?”
He waits without the slightest clue as to what she could possibly say.
“Since you came back to Jackson, I’ve chosen to keep my distance from you—but make no mistake, I’ve been watching you like a hawk since day one. Waiting for any signs of trouble. Waiting for you to fuck up. Waiting for you to give me a good reason to throw your ass out of this community because I didn’t trust you. Not after all the things I was told about you.”
He snorts. “You goin’ somewhere with this?”
“You are not who I thought you were,” Maria admits, smiling wryly. “I’ve gotten to see a different side of you. You pull your weight around here by doing your job and doing it well. You stay out of trouble—for the most part. And more importantly, I have seen the way that you’ve stepped up to be a father figure to Ellie. It takes a good man to do that, Joel.”
“Think that’s the nicest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever said to me,” he muses, setting his mug down on the counter. “I stepped up because I love her. I love them both. Those two, they’re the best parts of me. They’re the reasons I keep goin’ and now I’ve got another reason on the way.”
Maria smiles, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.
Catching her hesitance, Joel asks, “What? What is it?”
“What comes next is not going to be easy,” she warns him, lowering her voice. Even with the living room a fair distance from the kitchen, she doesn’t want to run the risk of you overhearing her. “For as hard as we’re going to try to contain the fire, it will spread, and everyone in this town will find out about everything—including the affair. People are going to talk, and believe me, they’re going to have a whole lot to say about it, Joel.”
He can’t help but roll his eyes at her.
“Think I can handle some fuckin’ gossip, Maria.”
“I know you can. But I’m not sure if she can,” Maria tells him, quietly. “It worries me. She’s been through a lot in just one night alone. I don’t want her stressing anymore than she already has. She is in a very delicate stage of her pregnancy right now, Joel. If she’s not careful, she could have a miscarriage. She had one about two years ago when her father became sick—” Observing his lack of a reaction, she realizes, “You knew that already.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. He knows where she’s going with this. “I did. She told me ‘bout it.”
“It makes her chances of having another one higher—”
Joel doesn’t even allow himself to think of it happening to you again. “I get it,” he interjects, trying not to sound too curt. “I’ll make sure she takes it real easy, alright?”
Lifting a hand off her belly, she reaches out and takes a hold of his forearm, gripping it tightly.
“Promise me something, Joel. Promise me that you’ll look after her,” Maria pleads him, gently. “Please. After everything she’s been through—I need you to promise me that she’s going to be in good hands with you.”
He nods. Without thinking, he places his hand over hers in an unexpected token of affection and reassurance. “You have my word, Maria. I’ll take good care of her.”
She gives his arm a grateful squeeze, then glances over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting pretty late. We don’t know how much longer Tommy’s going to be with the council. Why don’t we just go ahead and call it a night?” she suggests. “We can all get together first thing in the morning at your place to talk about it.”
“Yeah, good idea,” he agrees. “She really needs to rest.”
Maria gives his arm another squeeze.
“Go on then, Joel. Take your girls home.”
“Finally!” Ellie exclaims with a dramatic flail of her arms as she shoves through the front door.
“Alright, kiddo. Get your behind upstairs and into the shower,” Joel instructs her, flipping on the lights in the foyer. “Y’smell like fuckin’ horse shit.”
She lifts the collar of her shirt to her nose, takes a whiff, and makes a face. “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there,” she mutters. She toes off her dirty sneakers and leaves them beside the door before dashing up the staircase, taking two steps at a time.
He shouts after her, “And don’t use up all the hot—”
“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know the rules, dude!”
Moments later, you both hear the shower going.
“Little shit,” he grumbles.
You exhale an amused huff through your nose.
Joel withdraws his arm from around your shoulders and reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “C’mon, darlin’.” He guides you up the stairs and down the hallway into his bedroom where he switches on the light before proceeding to lead you over to his dresser. “I’ve got a bunch of shirts in this top drawer here,” he says. Dropping your hand, he pulls it open for you and gestures to it with a jut of his chin as he takes a step backwards, moving out of the way. “Go ahead and pick one to sleep in tonight. Want you to be comfortable, so help yourself to whichever one you want, sweet girl.”
Nodding, you begin to rummage through the drawer, unaware of the moment he slips away. You reach for a t-shirt, but then a plaid green flannel catches your eye. You pluck it from the drawer, running your fingers over the soft, warm fabric. “Is it alright if I wear—?” You turn around, stopping mid sentence when you realize he’s no longer standing behind you. Puzzled, you follow the sound of running water into the bathroom where you find him kneeling beside the tub. “Joel? What are you doing?”
“Runnin’ you a bath.”
You notice the bloodied bandage beside him on the tile floor. “Joel, are you serious?” you scold him. “Maria just patched your hand up for you.”
“S’okay, peach. I can rewrap it when we’re done.” Joel sticks his injured hand under the faucet to check the temperature, the cold water soothing his cuts. Once it turns warm, then hot, he pulls out his hand, waiting for the tub to fill halfway before shutting the faucet off and rising to his feet. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms, then beckons for you with both of his hands. “Let’s get you washed up.”
You remain standing by the door. “Joel, you don’t have to do this for me.”
“I know.”
“I’m capable of washing myself—”
“Yeah, I know that too,” he says, chuckling. “S’only fair, darlin’. Don’t you think?”
That’s when it hits you—how this moment is mirroring that night you had cleaned Joel up after you and Ellie had brought him home from the clinic with an injured shoulder. He allowed you to take care of him, and now, he was looking to do the same for you. And all you had to do was let him.
“But your hand—”
“Will be just fine,” Joel persists, stubbornly. “It’s nothin’ but a few cuts and scrapes. C’mon—or else I’m gonna march right over there and get you myself, peach.”
Knowing Joel, you certainly wouldn’t put it past him to throw you over his should and carry you to the bathtub.
“Fine,” you relent with a small sigh of defeat.
Setting his shirt down on the sink, you slowly walk over towards him and whirl around, letting him help you out of your knitted cardigan. You finish undressing yourself, inhaling a deep breath as you muster up the courage to turn back around and face him—when you finally do, it feels like a punch to the gut to see the heartbreak in his dark brown eyes, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip. You don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror to know it looks about a hundred times worse when you’re not wearing clothes.
Keeping your arms down at your sides, you fight every urge to cover yourself up. You’ve never felt so fucking vulnerable.
Clearing his throat, Joel holds out his hand. “C’mere.”
You accept it, and he helps you into the tub.
“How’s the water? S’not too hot, is it?”
You shake your head and he leans forward, kissing your temple so sweetly, your eyes flutter closed.
He washes your hair first, then takes a clean washcloth, lathering it up with a bar of milk and honey soap—the same soap he would smell on your skin all those nights. Admittedly, Joel preferred castile soap, but switched it when he found himself missing you during those weeks you were apart from him, when he needed the comfort of your scent. He is gentle with you, so gentle, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter into pieces in his hands.
As he lightly drags the washcloth up your back and around your neck, you stiffen, prompting him to freeze too. “Fuck. Baby, did I hurt you?” he asks, and you hear the slight panic in his tone.
“No,” you say quickly, desperately trying to swallow the lump rising in your throat. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It’s just—” Every overwhelming emotion slams into you all at once, and you can’t seem to figure out which one to feel first. Humiliation? Fear? Relief?
The water sloshes around you as you pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around your knees, giving yourself permission to feel them all. Bowing your head, you begin to sob quietly, hoping that Ellie, who is just down the hallway, won’t hear you crying again.
Joel says nothing. Washcloth still clutched in his hand, he leans forward over the edge of the tub and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, or at least, as close as the barrier between the two of you will allow him.
“Joel,” you choke, trying to push him off. “Stop it. Your clothes, they’re getting all wet.”
“Hush. Don’t fuckin’ care ‘bout my clothes,” he croaks, and for a second, you swear he’s about to cry too. But he doesn’t. He holds himself strong. Tugging you closer against his chest, he buries his nose into your soaking wet hair, whispering his reassurance. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe, my sweet girl. I’ve got you, alright?”
He pulls back slightly, dipping his hand into the water, placing it on your lower belly.
You look down, your eyes glazing over his bruised and battered knuckles. Proof that Joel Miller really would do anything for you.
“I know you do,” you say, softly. “I know you’ve got me, Joel.”
A while later, you’re dried, dressed, and composed. You follow Joel out of the bathroom and back into his room, where he has you take a seat on the bed. Noticing you had missed a button on his flannel shirt, he does it for you. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and says, “Give me a minute while I change.”
He peels off his wet clothes, being careful so as not to further agitate his sore, injured hand. After changing into a pair of gray sweatpants and an old, faded black t-shirt, he turns around only to find you’re sitting in bed underneath the covers.
“Sorry,” you apologize with a nervous chuckle as you rest your back against the headboard. “It just looked so warm and cozy—and it smells like you. I couldn’t resist making myself comfortable.”
Joel pads over to the side of the bed. He leans over, planting one hand on either side of you as he dips his head and brushes his lips against yours. “Ain’t got no reason to apologize, baby,” he assures you in a gentle murmur. “This is your bed now too, peach. This is your room. This is your home. Alright?”
Home.
You’re home.
He touches the tip of his nose to yours, and then draws himself back up to full height. “There’s somethin’ that I’ve gotta take care of downstairs, peach. I won’t be too long,” he promises.
It’s almost midnight. Joel goes about the kitchen and he prepares you the quickest meal that he can think of. He plates the sandwich he’d thrown together and pours a glass of cow’s milk—he’s always sure to keep a pint of it in the refrigerator to make the kid her oatmeal in the mornings.
He heads back upstairs, only to find that while he had been gone, Ellie had joined you, making herself a little too comfortable on his side of the bed. He stands there at the door, watching the two of you.
“Hey, so is it true babies can hear stuff while they’re in there?” Ellie questions you, curiously.
“Mhm,” you reply with a nod. “They can hear music, for example. Voices—”
“Voices?” She smushes her face into your stomach and he hears a muffled, “Hey, dude!”
You giggle. “Ellie, I think it’s still a little too early.”
“When do you think it’ll be able to hear me?”
“I’m not too sure. In a few months, maybe?”
Ellie lifts her head, humming. “You know, I bet there’s baby books in the library,” she tells you as she sits up. “I’ll have Dina help me look for one tommor—oh shit.” She stares at you with wide eyes. “Dina! How are you going to tell her and Talia about Luke?”
Joel grimaces. He hadn’t thought of that, either.
“I—I’m not too sure.”
“You have to fucking tell them. Dina has to know about him. She has to know what a piece of shit he is, and so does Talia.”
Sensing your discomfort, Joel steps into the bedroom and intervenes before she can say another word. “Ellie, get to bed. S’late.”
“But—”
“Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns her, sternly.
She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She climbs off the bed and on her way out, she eyes the plate in his hand. “That chicken?”
“Turkey. And it ain’t for you, it’s for her. So scram, kid.”
“Couldn’t have made me one while you were at it, old man?”
“Ellie, if you don’t get outta here right now—”
“Alright!” Ellie holds her hands up. “I’m leaving. Jesus.”
She disappears, closing the door behind her.
“Pain in my ass,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head as he walks over and carefully perches himself beside you. He hands you the plate. “Here, darlin’.”
“Joel, I appreciate this, but I’m really not very hungry.”
“Maybe not, but y’gotta eat,” he insists. “Baby needs it.”
Thankfully, you accept it without further protest.
“I’ll have Ellie get your things tomorrow,” Joel states as you’re eating. “Maria can go along with her since she knows the house. They’ll get your clothes and whatever else you might need outta there.”
“My father’s belongings.” You accidentally talk through a mouthful of turkey and bread. Swallowing, you tell him, “I have some boxes of his stuff in the basement. But they’re way too heavy for either of them to carry.”
“I’ll take care of that for you.” He reaches up, wiping a breadcrumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “I can ask Tommy to give me a hand. Don’t you worry, peach. We won’t leave your dad’s things behind, I swear it.”
Relieved, you shoot him a grateful look, then polish off the last few bites of your sandwich.
“Here,” he says, offering you the glass of milk. “Figured it’s good for you, and good for the baby. Y’know, since it’s got calcium and…stuff.” He shrugs sheepishly, no clue as to what he’s talking about. “Vitamins, right?”
Nodding, you grab the glass and take a reluctant sip.
“You hate milk,” Joel realizes, raising an eyebrow.
“I do,” you admit with a laugh. “But you’re right. It’s good for both me and the baby, so cheers.” And with that, you somehow force the entire glass down.
He sets the dishes aside on the nightstand, figuring he can take them downstairs first thing in the morning.
Without bothering to rebandage his hand like he’d told you he would, Joel turns off the lights and climbs into bed with you. “All those nights wishin’ I could bring you home,” he muses as you curl into his side. “Wantin’ nothin’ more than to hold you in my arms in this bed. In our bed.” His arm slips around your shoulders, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Almost doesn’t feel real, darlin’.”
Tilting your head, you nuzzle your nose into the scruff of his beard, prompting him to laugh again. Then, he remembers his conversation with Maria, and his smile fades from his face, his lips pursing together.
You catch the sudden shift in his demeanor.
“Joel? What’s the matter?”
“M’fine, baby. It’s just—” He hesitates. “From this point forward, I need you to let me handle things.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you gettin’ all stressed out, alright? I don’t want to run the risk of you—” He’s unsure of how to say it.
“Of me losing the baby,” you finish for him, quietly.
Joel winces, knowing he was wandering into sensitive territory. “Yeah. I—I really don’t want that to happen.” He pauses. “Maria mentioned to me you’re in a delicate stage. When do you reckon you’ll stop—how long until you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it?”
“After twelve weeks, my risk isn’t as high. If I make it to the second trimester in six weeks, then my chances of having another miscarriage are lower.”
Though you speak calmly, he clocks your anxiousness.
You’re worried, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking worried out of his mind too.
Being a father at his age wasn’t ideal, but he wanted this child. It was part of him, and more importantly, it was a part of you.
Joel squeezes your shoulders. “I only ask ‘cause I was thinkin’ that, y’know, once we get to that point, maybe I can go ahead and start buildin’ the baby’s crib.”
“You’re going to build the crib?”
He nods. “And the highchair too. I can even make you a diaper changin’ table if y’want one.”
“Joel.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Our worlds were just turned completely upside down. You just found out that I’m pregnant, and you’re already thinking about building furniture? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?”
“Hey, those things take a whole ‘lotta time,” he says in defense of himself. “Besides, winter’s right around the corner and I don’t wanna be out in the garage freezin’ my fuckin’ ass off. If I can get a head start now, I can have them all done in the spring by the time the baby comes.”
You fall silent.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I’m really scared of losing it,” you confess. “When I first took that pregnancy test, I wanted nothing more for it to be negative. Now, I’m terrified I won’t make it past my first trimester again. I really don’t want to lose it. I want this baby, Joel.”
He turns his head, meeting your eyes in the silver light shining through the lace curtains over his window. “S’why you’ve gotta let me handle things, darlin’. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“C’mere, my sweet girl.” Joel presses his lips to yours, murmuring against them, “I love you.”
His declaration comes with natural ease.
And so does yours.
“I love you too, Joel.”
#fic: a safe haven#fic: ash#tw dv#tw domestic violence#tw pregnancy#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller series#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller angst#the last of us fanfiction
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I respect the boys’ decision, of course I do, it makes me sad that they felt this way and it makes me even sadder that they’re afraid of how’d we react. But what I’m afraid of is that, despite them saying multiple times that they’ll come back, that they simply won’t. A lot can happen during (a few months? a year? a few years?) they could meet someone and build a family, they could realize that they prefer acting or solo work more than group work, they could grow out of the whole bts thing now that they have time to be by themselves. Idk, I’m not being dramatic I’m just being realistic- I know a lot can happen when you have off time and I just don’t think they can say with certainty, as of today, that they will come back because they simply don’t know that for sure
Hey babes, I'm glad you could express how you feel, but everything will be okay <3 I think it's because of the fact that bts are certain about returning as a group that they could say what they said today! The boys are never insincere, and Jimin did say to take their words as they are, so that's exactly what we should do. They will live different lives for sure, and experience things that bring them new meanings, values, and perspectives that may make their feelings towards bts change, but it's something they honestly deserve. they deserve time to just be namjoon, seokjin, yoongi, hoseok, jimin, taehyung and jungkook. it's also important to remeber that the tannies themselves said they felt closer after being apart!! i don't think their feelings will change that drastically since the video shows just how much bts and army mean to them. living separately has already made them so much closer with each other, and i firmly believe that being apart in their solo work will also make them stronger once they're together again!! they'll still visit each other, film group stuff and be bts, but they'll just be focusing on their individuality instead.
a cute k-army said on twitter: "if all seven of them are the same colour, how can they form a rainbow?" the babies just want to cultivate their own colours and show it to the world, and i'll be ready with open arms to embrace anything they release!! let's trust bts and their words, they love us very deeply and always tell us things in confidence <33
#ik some may have trauma from groups saying they'll be taking a break when in reality it's a disbandment announcement in disguise#but i don't think bts would do that to us#like jungkook said we're their best friends for life#they share things in confidence with us and only when they're 100% certain#we can already tell that this has been in the works since 2020#they originally planned to do this earlier but the pandemic made them push for way longer than they thought#so i know they've thought about this and are sincere in what they're saying#they'll come back to us <33#it's bts and army forever and always#remember what 'i purple you' means everyone#that we will love and trust each other for a long time <33#sammy's inbox#anon#ot7 💫#the seven stars in my universe
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as a request, perhaps a spider-noir x reader fic where they try to the upside down spider-man kiss?? and it'd be their first kiss but noir and reader wear glasses so they accidentally bump into each other; so they try to kiss again- however that goes is completely up to you!!
☆ spider noir is one of, if not my favorite spider besides miles, and i absolutely loved writing this! there’s not enough content of noir out there, and feel free to request more of him, as i’d be more than happy to write it. as always, thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy reading <33 !!
word count - 774
you and peter had not been together for very long, a month or two at best. it was your first serious relationship in a few years, and you liked him, a lot. you were taking your relationship with him on the slower side, which you had no problem with. you enjoyed any time you spent with him, happy to take your relationship at a more leisurely pace, getting to know each other inside and out.
you two hadn’t even kissed yet, although you had found yourself thinking about it often. maybe a little too often. it was just a kiss, but you wanted the first one with him to be something special, maybe a little fun. you had kissed others before, and knew it was no big deal, but you almost wanted your first kiss with peter to be a big deal.
you also knew he was spider-man, as he showed up to your apartment one night, battered, bloody, and bruised, asking for your assistance in cleaning himself up. normally he would’ve done it himself, but he trusted you, and well, he was also pretty fucking beat up.
one night, an idea sprung into your head that involved both kissing him and his spider abilities. you were at peter’s apartment, cuddling in comfortable silence on his couch. it was soft and quiet, just the two of you basking in each other’s presence.
“hey peter,” you asked softly. “i have an idea, if you’re okay with it”. your head rested gently on his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist. you normally wore glasses, but they were discarded on the small coffee table in front of the couch, so you could lay with him more comfortably.
“of course, doll, what’s your idea?” he asked, one of his hands tracing patterns idly in your skin.
you explained your idea to him, albeit a bit embarrassed, not sure how he’d feel about it. it was a bit silly, sure, but you also thought it was sweet.
he nodded, keeping quiet for a moment before speaking up. “sure, why not. sounds like fun”. you started to sit up, grabbing your glasses off the small table.
he stood up after you and got himself situated, shooting his webs onto the ceiling and climbing up it as you described, trying to find a good position.
once he got himself comfortable he nodded “i’m all set. i think” he said with a smile, watching as you made your way over to him.
you looked up at him with a bright smile, feeling giddy. you hesitated for a second then leaned into him, his soft lips touching yours briefly. it was a clumsy kiss, his chin bumping against your nose, causing your glasses to fall off your face and onto the floor. you pulled away with a giggle, your cheeks flushed and your face warm.
you ignored it and tried to kiss him again, resting your hands on the side of his face, which caused his glasses to fall to the floor. your faces just kept bumping into each other in all the wrong ways, so you pulled back with a laugh.
“how about we try that again, normally. then once we get the kissing part down we can move onto the upside down part” peter said with a light chuckle, his cheeks flushed a similar shade to your own. you picked yours and his glasses up off the floor and nodded, eager to kiss him again.
he let his webbing go, skillfully landing on his feet as he turned to face you. you handed his glasses to him and he took them, making sure they sat correctly on his crooked nose bridge. he stepped closer, gently cupping your face with one of his hands, the other placed on your waist. his hands were always soft and gentle, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. he leaned in, meeting you halfway. this kiss was longer, and not as clumsy as the first two. he tasted like cigarettes and black coffee, and his lips moved gently against yours.
after a few moments you both pulled away, soft smiles on each of your faces. he looked into your eyes for a moment before speaking up. “i’m not sure why i didn’t kiss you sooner, i really enjoyed that.”
“even the first two?” you giggled, wrapping your arms behind his neck as he kept you close.
“even the first two. although i enjoyed the last one even more”. he smiled, leaning down to place another quick, soft kiss to your lips.
#spider man: across the spider verse#into the spider verse#spider noir#spider noir x reader#spider noir fanfic#peter parker x reader#pursuedbyamemory writes
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FIRST KISS WITH KAZ!!! Maybe through fabric or just working through his touch aversion to get there
'Need' - Kaz Brekker x reader
Prompt - An overview of the relationship which brings the Bastard of the Barrel's hardened walls crashing down. But how long will it take for him to show his true longing for you?
- Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader(gender neutral)
- Warnings: Mentions of Kaz's trauma but nothing too detailed, just Kaz being desperate to be with you :)
- A/N: Thank you so much for requesting anon! I hope this is okay, its my first fic ever so please leave any criticism or improvements you may have. also please let me know if we like this style of writing <33 PLEASE REQUEST!!
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Kaz had many things he wanted. Kruge, power, and revenge were among his most desired, however there was only one thing that he slowly began to realize he truly needed.
You.
After a long period of brushed hands and stolen glances, the Bastard of the Barrel had finally confessed his fondness for you, planting the seed of a rough but beautiful love. Even before the possibility of a true relationship bloomed, you knew that any form of intimacy was a weakness for Kaz, and an opportunity for his enemies to strike.
In order to counter this, you and Kaz spent endless hours breaking down his barriers within the confines of his room at the slat, and on occasion the office at the crow club. It began with small acts of service, bring Kaz tea when he was working too long, him bringing small gifts back from the market, even exchanged notes of gratitude or compliments.
As Kaz began to remove his armour, he reluctantly allowed you closer and closer, until the two of you began to work on his undeniable fear of physical contact.
It started off slowly and rarely, with his gloves still permanently clinging to his scarred hands as he adjusted to touching your arm or hand through several layers of material. Each attempt left Kaz with a bubbling feeling in his chest as if he was longing for something he couldn’t quite place, although he pushed down any thought of needing you more than he already did.
Each gentle smile, kind touch, or loving word chipped his armour more, growing the intensity of the feeling within his chest. A need for you.
This feeling buried itself deep within Kaz’s heart, growing in intensity each time he saw you, and consuming him completely if he ever saw you in the embrace of another.
Kaz trusted you fully, at least to his personal limit, having been raised by a city full of deception and misfortune himself. As a result, he would never blame you for seeking comfort in the touch of others despite your relationship, he knew it was cruel to deny you this, and was confident in your loyalty and love for him.
Yet his heart and mind found it easy to experience a taste of bitterness towards whoever was fortunate enough to be graced with a swift hug or gentle touch from you, often being another of his crows.
Deep down he knew it was immature of him to have something as low as jealousy completely overtake him, but each touch they received sent daggers flying directly through his chest, lodging themselves deeply into his already aching heart.
The boiling jealousy would be quickly dispelled as you made your way over to him, brushing your fingers over his gloved ones and smiling softly at the clearly frustrated boy.
As time went on, the touch Kaz’s body could allow increased, both in receiving and giving. Words of praise besides the touch aided in the rocky yet manageable journey, however eye contact was easily the most efficient way of communicating what both lovers meant.
To most throughout the barrel, a quick glance from the infamous Dregs leader is enough to set even the fiercest gang member’s blood racing, chilling their insides simultaneously with its razor-like edge.
Yet somehow, after studying your beautiful bosses face for long enough, you cracked the code on his impenetrable gaze, soon being able to decipher even the smallest slips of emotion through a twitch or a shift in his glare. Kaz often contemplated how you managed to read him so efficiently, settling on you perhaps using one of his own lock-picking techniques to unravel his emotions and ultimately, his heart.
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As a result of this skill, you were immediately able to sense a change in Kaz’s stance and mood as you gently shut the door to his office behind you and made your way over to his desk. “I brought you tea my love,” you quietly said, not wanting to provoke the clearly tense man in front of you.
Frequently Kaz would be in difficult moods after jobs, his mind buzzing with adrenaline and further plans for more tasks he needed to instantly begin planning. As you broke down his barriers, you managed to reduce this urgency, always gaining at least an hour or two to help him; bringing him tea, running him hot water to wash with, finding new books to discuss and read together, or even just admiring the city from the rooftops.
However this was different, the job was supposedly simple, but every aspect had gone awry and almost cost multiple dregs their lives. After complicated missions such as these, you knew Kaz needed space to breath, with a single glance in your direction a clear indicator of whether your presence was needed or not in that moment (however he always called for you as soon as he was able).
Tension radiated through the air, and although you weren’t afraid of his tempers like the others, you were feeling uneasy at your own inability to read what was crossing his mind. His shoulders were hunched as he slowly lifted his blistering gaze to meet yours, lacking the usual softness they held only for you, yet not containing any hostility.
He huffed out a sigh, stormy eyes locked on yours, thoughts racing inside, but not translating to his eyes, your only window into his troublesome mind. “I don’t know what to do” he finally muttered as you patiently waited for him to formulate his words.
After many hours spent with him, you had learnt how strenuous verbal communication was for him, and how often he just needed time to articulate his answers and force them out into the open. So, as he settled back into the silence of the office, you shifted the chair opposite to his and made yourself comfortable, allowing him to calm his raging thoughts with your familiar presence.
“Its too much. Each time we leave and come back it grips me, tighter and tighter,” he stumbles out, forcing the sounds of each word out of his mouth as if he is battling with his mind to allow them to be heard. Despite your lack of context, you gave a soft reassuring smile, nodding towards him and taking a sip of your tea to allow him a moment to breathe and continue.
“On jobs, or at the club, I can’t escape it,” he states breathlessly, before continuing, “How is it possible to need something so badly, yet my greatest need is the one thing I cannot truly have?” immediately signalling that this must be about his feeling of imprisonment his body forces upon him.
He slowly rose from his seat, limping towards you with a strong air of determination, eyes glued to yours as you scanned him in a failed attempt to decode his actions. You gazed up as he loomed over you, planting himself only a few feet away, the proximity making a beautiful warmth spread through your chest at his comfortability with you.
“I know I cannot give you what you need. You reassure me, yet I know it is not enough to live behind walls, barriers, defences.” He states, voice shaking at the end of each cadence, showing an impressive amount of bravery to admit his deepest concerns to you. He continued, “But I cannot live that way either,” his face leaning closer to yours, your breath suddenly hitching in your throat, cheeks glowing with a rosy flush.
“It’s too much, knowing I cannot have you in the way that you deserve. That…” he trails off, face shifting closer to yours with each word, inch by inch breaking down both of your defences. After swallowing thickly and regaining himself, he continues “That I want.”
By now his breath sends warm ripples across your skin, rendering you speechless at Kaz’s ability to fight his demons, striking them down for just enough time to reach you, even for a moment.
“But I know what I want, and I will be damned if anything stops me from getting it,” he demands, dangerously low, conflicting with the vulnerability displaying in his eyes, showing his internal conflict as he pushes his boundaries to the limit, leaving you certain the waters are chest high by now. However, his next action dispels any thoughts you had before, rendering you stunned.
“I want you,” he whispers before crashing his lips against yours.
Although it couldn’t have lasted longer than 3 seconds, the bliss that overwhelmed the pair of you was astounding, pure love radiating between you without the waters washing away the moment. Shortly after, the ocean regained its grip, forcing him to stumble back a good few feet, shaking violently and gripping the desk for support.
What surprised you the most was his expression.
He wore the faintest, yet most heartfelt smile you had ever seen grace his lips, filled with pride at his victory and ability to not only communicate, but finally act on his desires.
Your eyes pricked with tears as the emotions overcame you, your chest filling to the brim with love for the man, however you knew better than to stay any longer and prolong the inevitable current that was already overwhelming him. You stood quietly, slowly removing your jacket and placing it neatly on the table, eyes permanently glued to Kaz to ensure you remained a suitable distance.
He shakily nodded his head in thanks, breathing becoming shallower as he attempted to regain a sense of rhythm, grabbing the coat and waveringly making his way around his desk.
Early in the process of unravelling his fear of touch, you discovered that he found great solace in items of yours, especially for the times when he couldn’t convince his own mind that you were warm and present, not like the frigid bodies that plagued him. They gave him a piece of yourself to grasp onto when your physical presence was too much.
It shattered your heart into splinters at the idea of leaving him in this state, but you knew it was what he needed, and the certainty that within an hour or two he would be calling for your presence brought a sense of calm over you.
As you reached to lightly close the door, you looked up to find him staring at you through his trembling state, a triumphant look still faintly glittering in his eyes. You sent him a comforting smile, tears creating a glassy sheen over your eyes, illuminated by the candlelit office.
“I’m proud of you Kaz. So proud, more than you could ever know. I’ll see you later my love,” you breathed, loud enough for him to hear.
Your heart hammered in your chest as you shut the door, as the pride, pain, and love overwhelmed your senses. A lone tear slipped as you descended the stairs to process the night’s event, which unbeknownst to you, mirrored the boy sat in his office.
Kaz also shed a single tear amongst the panic his body forced upon him, however instead of the pure pain, grief, and dread that usually fell, a strong sense of victory escaped with that tear too.
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#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker x reader fluff#kaz brekker x reader imagines#kaz brekker#kaz brekker imagine#six of crows x reader#six of crows imagine#six of crows#shadow and bone season 2#shadow and bone#shadow and bone imagine
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Listen we need more 👏older👏 virgin 👏larissa
Obviously it needs to be sub!Larissa 😆
Larissa and the reader have been together a long time but haven't slept together, leading to Larissa admitting she's inexperienced, super fluffy cute smut about reader showing Larissa all there is and Larissa having the best night of her life and feeling super loved 🫠
I love love love your writing and thought you'd make a perfect story ❤️
𝐒𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 - [𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝟏𝟖+]
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
Larissa Weems x f!reader
words: ~4.2k
𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: fluff, nsfw, sub!Larissa, dom!Reader, virgin Larissa, oral sex, fingering, strap-on, praise kink, biting, marking, scratching, begging
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see above
masterlist
AO3 link in title
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
a/n: I COMPLETELY AGREE. I AGREE SO HARD
sub!Larissa is so fucking cute to me for some reason and I'm glad I got a req to do it ehheheh. I like writing both, but it should be fun to finally be able to do the other perspective.
Thank you for trusting me with writing this! and for complimenting my writing <33 it means the world. i hope you enjoy, anon !
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
You laid on the couch in your private quarters, the flames roaring as the overcast sky settled itself for the weekend, the small pattering of the rain landing on the window was tuned out as you held a book in your hands and welcomed a familiar weight on your chest - your lover, Larissa Weems.
Retiring to your quarters for the day was something that had become a routine for the two of you after months of dating - it had become a shared sanctuary for the both of you, especially Larissa as it let her be completely away from her work at the end of the day, all her worries fading away whenever she stepped through the doorway.
She was mindlessly twirling a lock of your hair between her fingers, taking in your scent with each breath as her cheek rested against your chest, watching her favorite show as you enjoyed each others company. Your free hand was tracing along her back, providing her comfort and making her subconsciously aware that you weren't leaving her side.
In the months that you had been dating, you had let Larissa set the pace of where this wanted to go. Being a professor and a principal at the same school definately had its ups and downs, but you made it work, regardless. Communication was the biggest thing in your relationship, making sure that any miscommunications or misunderstandings were made clear in a gentle tone, not wanting to upset the other and both knowing better than working on negative emotions.
You always tried to give her all the love that she deserved, all the love that she, sadly, never got from others. It pained you to think about the things that the precious woman right under your touch had been through, the days of heartbreak, the nights being unable to sleep, the countless amount of restless hours she had gone through without someone by her side to make her feel safe.
You vowed, since the moment you met her, you would always make her feel safe and comfortable in your company.
A large sigh had come from the peaceful beauty, breaking you from your focus on the book as a commercial played on the screen. Her hand had moved from your hair to trail under your shirt, tracing her fingertips along your stomach, her eyes looking down at your smooth skin.
You took a moment to look at her form. She wore an oversized sweater you owned, saying something along the lines of how your clothes were more comfortable, but you knew how much she loved to wear your things, so you let her. Her legs were bent with your own as a blanket covered the both of you slightly. She seemed so comfortable and so at ease, it melted your heart.
You put a bookmark along your pages and set the book gently on the side table behind you. You moved your hands to rub Larissa's shoulders, getting rid of any tension she still held there before kissing the top of her head and moving to gently pull all the pins from her hair. You set them all on top of your book and massaged her scalp, eliciting a rumbling hum from your lover.
"You know I'm the luckiest woman in the world, right?" You said softly, not wanting to break her gaze from her favorite show. However, she shuffled to look up at you, her chin resting on your chest, with a dreamy look in her eyes. A curious smile rose to her lips as she chuckled.
"And what makes you say that, my love?" You heart rate rose as a blush flooded your cheeks, you were sure she could feel it pounding in your chest underneath her touch from her actions. The sight in front of you was one you wanted to commit to memory. The way the flames casted an orange glow on her features and how her hair was sprawled out beneath her, long enough to fall down her sides and over the expanse of her back - it was as though there was a goddess living among you, especially with the spark in her eyes.
"Because…" You started to sit up a bit, moving to the side to flip her underneath you, your hands landing at her sides to hold you above her after guiding hers to rest at your shoulders. "I just so happen to be the lover of the smartest, most patient, elegant, regal, alluring- gods, I could go on.. The point is that I'm so lucky to have you.."
In between each compliment, you kissed a different part of her face, ending with a soft kiss on her lips as you finished your small ramble. When you broke away, she had the biggest smile on her face, meeting her eyes and casting a deep blush along her features. Your words had hit her heart, engulfing it in a warm hold.
"I love you.." There was nothing but sincerity behind her words, her thumb stroking along your cheek softly as she said as much. You kissed the pad of her finger before leaning down again.
"And I love you, sweet girl.." Your lips captured hers in a passionate kiss, coursing electricity through the both of you as your tongue swiped along her bottom lip. She smiled as she denied your access, a tease she loved to do from time to time, but you knew her weak spots.
You drew your hands under her sweater, your cold palms meeting the warm skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake as she shivered. You scratched down her sides, pulling a moan from the woman underneath you and creating an opportunity to explore her wet cavern.
You took your time exploring her mouth, your tongues moving in tandem before you pulled away, biting her bottom lip gently. You both paused for a moment, taking in each others forms and soaking in just how much you loved each other. Just as you were about to bring your lips back to hers, she spoke.
"Darling.." Her tone was soft and just above a whisper as she spoke. A worried expression filled your features as you thought of what she could be dwelling on so intensely.
"Is something wrong, love?" You asked, concern lacing your tone as you began to sit up only to be pulled back down by strong arms. The action made you laugh, a smile replacing your concerned notes as you looked back down at the sapphire goddess.
"Nothing's wrong.. I just- I wanted to.." It seemed like she couldn't bring herself to say whatever was on her mind, breaking eye contact with you to flutter her eyes all around the room - it only made you more curious as your smile grew at her actions. You grabbed her chin softly, moving it so her gaze was locked back onto yours, before speaking.
"What is it you want, sweet one? I can only help so much if I don't know the details, hmm?" Your tone was caring and curious, a blush filled her features at the forced eye contact, exposing just how much it flustered her.
"I.. Could we try- Can we-" A defeated and near frustrated sigh left her lips as she shut her eyes. She took in a breath in attempt to ground herself, before facing you again. "I want to sleep with you, y/n.."
You laughed at that. You had never seen her so flustered and so all over the place, it was something you would cherish as she felt safe enough to even bring the topic up. You always wondered when you would get to this point, not dwelling on if it would take months or years, you just wanted her to feel solid enough in her desires and wants before you dove in that direction.
You moved to sit up, successfully this time, as you pulled her up with you. You flashed a reassuring smile back at her as you rubbed her arms, tracing your hands up to cup her face. "You want to have sex with me?"
The question that left your lips only seemed to make her fluster more, the blush darkening as a quiet response was thrown your way.
"Yes.." She was adorable. You couldn't get over the bashful version of the woman before you, it was a sight you haven't seen often, so you tried to remember every feature and every emotion that crossed her before it faded away.
You moved your hands down to hers, holding them in a gentle grip. "This is something you want?" There was a glimmer of insecurity in your tone, there for mere seconds, before it disappeared. You were answered with a nod, something that caused you to throw a knowing look her.
"I need words, my love.." Your tone was soft, visibly settling her nerves as her shoulders relaxed and she let out a sigh. She looked deep into your eyes before speaking, only being met back with love and safety.
"Yes, I want this.. I really want this with you.. I've, however.. ..I-I've never done this before.." The admission shocked you, something she saw turn into confusion. You didn't understand how someone like her, someone so beautiful, so graceful, so intelligent, didn't have paramores or anyone before you that had good intentions other than this.
"And that's perfectly fine, Larissa.." Your reaction surprised her, as though she was waiting from the worst from you. It saddened you at the possibility of her being met with anything but understanding, knowing that she was probably picking at her own mind and every insecurity she had before becoming confident enough in the bond you both shared before bringing it up.
"We won't do anything you don't want or don't like, okay? If you end up not liking something or want me to stop then I want you to tell me. I want you to feel exactly how much I love you, and I plan on translating as much into every action I give you.."
A big sigh escaped her as she completely relaxed, her shoulders dropping and her jaw unclenching as she squeezed your hands softly, a small smile making itself known at her lips. "I'll tell you.."
"Good. Now, come here.." You stood up and guided her to the bed you shared in a gentle hold, the cool air of the room causing goosebumps to rise along both of your arms as the blanket no longer covered your bodies, but you ignored it as care ran through your veins and excitement ran through hers.
You guided her onto your lap, something you both loved, before pulling her arms to completely rest at your shoulders, pulling her near flush against you as you held her waist securely. You searched her eyes for any uncertainty only to find none, her eyes looking down at your lips just moments after. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and it felt as though your breathing had stopped at the small action alone.
You brought a hand behind her neck and pulled her in gently, crashing your lips into hers. You could tell with how her lips moved along with yours that she had wanted this for quite some time, meeting you with desperation and a moan as you took the opportunity to bring your tongue to hers.
Your hands moved along her smooth skin agonizingly slow for the blonde, exploring every dip and giving her thighs a firm squeeze before beginning to move them up her shirt, higher higher higher until you completely took the garment off of her.
You couldn't take your eyes off her as you took in her form, your eyes raking over the complete expanse of her exposed skin that was finally making itself known to you. Your hands moved up her body and traced along the underside of her bra with your thumbs, your eyes fluttering shut with desire at the small whimper that left her lips.
Your eyes met hers, she had her bottom lip between her teeth as her chest heaved slightly, a blush apparent on her cheeks matched with pupils blown with her desire for you. You took a moment to reach down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it off you completely in one swift movement so she wouldn't feel any insecurity at being the only one showing more skin.
You brought a hand to her neck, your fingers guiding themselves up under her chin and pulling her face closer only to move it, missing her lips, to speak softly in her ear. "Is this still okay, my love?"
Your hot breath ghosted over her neck, a shiver running a course down her spine as her eyes fluttered shut for a quick moment. You felt her nod slightly, causing you to move back and raise your eyebrow, your fingertips moving to hold her chin ever so slightly. The action made her swallow hard, her breath hitching as you made her look at you again.
"Y-Yes, sorry.." A small smirk lifted your lips, shooting her a proud look at her quick memory. You leaned in quickly, stopping just in front of her lips to watch her lean in, only for you to move back as she chased you. She noticed this, and her eyes fluttered back open, being met with your lips just a hair away from hers.
"Good girl.." You said before slamming your lips into hers, swallowing the whimper she had let out at the praise. She kissed you back with a newfound ferocity, her hands quickly traveling over your shoulders and torso. She had quickened up everything about her actions and you held in a chuckle after you had noticed that. You pulled away slightly, causing her actions to stop as she looked back at you.
"Slow down, Larissa.. I'm not going anywhere.." Your words seemed to heavily settle her, and you couldn't help but notice that. You shifted, moving her to rest against the pillowy mattress as her white locks of hair sprawled out and curled along the thick blankets and pillows of your bed. You gave her the softest of kisses while doing so, putting more reassurance in your words. "Let me love you.."
You had whispered those words against her lips, and you heard her suck in a breath. You moved your lips in a trail down her jawline, moving down her neck and meeting her pulse point. You bit down on the skin softly before smoothing your tongue over the area and sucking.
The sensation that rippled through her sent a heat to her core, her hand tangling itself in your hair as she moved her head to the side to give you more access. You left a few more marks of different sizes before pulling away slightly and looking at your work, a slightly sinister smile gracing your features, knowing it would take her a little bit to cover them up.
Your lips traveled down and trailed kisses along her chest, smoothing out your tongue and biting the exposed parts of her breasts. A moan left her as you moved your hands under her bra and smoothed your thumbs against her nipples, her nails digging into your shoulder slightly. "Y/n.. please.."
Oh..
That was something you never heard before..
But you'd be lying if you said you didn't want, didn't need to hear her beautiful moans escape her throat, your name fall from her lips over and over again..
One of your hands snaked around her torso, unclasping her bra from around her and pulling it down her shoulders and arms. You threw it to the side and were met with a mouthwatering sight beneath you, and you couldn't help but moan as you worried your bottom lip. Her features were flushed and we pupils were as dilated as they could be, her chest rose and fell quickly with her breaths and her hands rested on either side of her head.
This was definately something you could quickly find addicting..
"I want you, y/n.."
That sentence alone was enough to break any of your remaining resolve, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss before trailing down her body again. You left dark marks all along her chest before rolling your tongue over her right bud, capturing it with your lips shortly after as your hand toyed with the other.
A broken moan left her lips as her back arched a bit, pushing more of herself to you. You moved to the other bud, needing to give it the same amount of attention, as you pulled delicious moans from the goddess beneath you.
You trailed your lips down the rest of her body, getting rid of every article of clothing that still stood in your way as you kissed and bit down her thighs, getting rid of the rest of your own quickly after. You loved how much she was squirming under your touch, every trace, every pinch, every squeeze making her increasingly needier.
You looked over her completely, your breath lost in your chest as you took in how absolutely drenched she had become.
"You are every dream come true.. My needy girl," You traced two fingers through her slit, her hips bucking at the contact and a near pornographic moan leaving her lips as you circled her clit before pulling your hand away completely.
"So wet for me already.." You brought the hand up to your lips while you spoke, taking them in your mouth when you finished. You groaned at the taste of her and decided that you needed more. "Absolutely delicious.."
You kissed back down her other leg, the smell of her arousal increasing as you continued to tease her. You hooked your arms around her thighs, keeping her squirming down a bit, before kissing along her slit.
"Please, please, y/n I-" She was cut off by an unadulterated moan rushing out of her, the feeling of your tongue licking through her folds giving her the pleasure she had been craving. You dipped your tongue as far into her entrance as you could, taking as much of her juices as you could, moaning again at the taste of her.
The vibrations had sent a wave of pleasure through her, her core growing increasingly sensitive as her breaths got quicker and her moans became unfiltered. You brought your tongue up to circle her clit, sucking on the sensitive bud right after. One of her hands tangled itself into your hair, pulling you closer to where she needed you, while the other fisted the sheets beneath her, her back arching at the intense waves of pleasure you were giving her.
"More, I- F-Fuck! Please-" You brought a finger to her entrance, easily pushing into her soaked cunt. After giving her time to adjust, you added another, feeling her thighs squirm on either side of your head and threatening to close around it as she clenched around your fingers, pulling a moan from you. "You're doing so good for me.."
You started moving them at a nice speed as her hips bucked for more friction. The moans you were pulling from her were sinful, and lustful pride filled your chest knowing you were able to have her come undone so deliciously.
You increased your ministrations, curling your fingers in such a way that had her seeing stars as her moans got louder. You could tell she was close as her grip increased and her core tightened. You curled your fingers and sucked on her sensitive bud at the same time, pulling a loud cry from the woman before she shuddered beneath you, her juices flowing out and you took everything she gave you as you helped her ride out her high.
You kissed back up her body, your hands smoothing over her skin as you moved. She pulled you by your shoulders and crashed her lips against you, swiping her tongue along your bottom lip. She moaned at the taste of herself on your lips and against your tongue.
You broke away after a moment, taking in her flushed form, seeing lust still swirling in her eyes. She'd be the death of you as she'd already become an addiction you wouldn't dare get rid of.
"Do you think you could do one more for me, darling?" You whispered against her lips, and she pulled you closer to her. She licked her lips softly as she stared at yours with half lidded eyes.
"Yes, please.. I want more.. I wanna cum for you again, please.." The desperation and want in her tone had made your eyes flutter shut as your eyes rolled back. You were sure her pleas alone would be able to get you off, but you didn't want to be finished with her just yet.
You took a box from your bedside table and opened it, revealing a strap on that would make you feel everything as well, and it was something she seemed to notice as her eyes widened, only to fill with need. It was something that you had saved for this moment, and your mouth watered at the idea of slipping into her.
"You are so easily addicting.." You said after you finished putting it on. She bit her bottom lip and you couldn't help but stare. You really couldn't understand how someone could be this beautiful, but a smile rose to your lips as you took in just how much of a mess you'd made her so far.
"It's going to sting a bit, love.. When you're ready, tell me when to move, hmm?"
After receiving a needy 'yes' from her lips, you ran it along her slit, before slowly pushing into her. Your body shuddered, and a low moan left your chest at the feeling of filling her up. Her nails dug into your back and shoulders at the stretch, whines being pulled from the woman before she took you completely. She gave you the sign to move, and you started off at a slow pace, helping her get used to it.
Moans and whimpers started to leave her lips again as her head fell back in pleasure. You left kisses along her skin as you moved, your own moans ghosting along its canvas. "So good for me, Rissa.. You're taking me so well, my good girl.."
Her moans left her at every thrust, her walls fluttering around the strap, nearly making you topple over in the pleasure you got from not only being inside her and feeling it but also the sight of her beneath you as her rushed, needy pleas flowed out of her lips.
"Please, please, y/n- oh! F-Fuck, I-I'm close, please! Fuc-Fuck!" Her moans grew higher in pitch as your thrusts quickened, her nails digging into your skin as you were sure there would be marks left there for a while, not that you were complaining. You felt your own high starting to build, her walls fluttering around you, making the chase for it absolutely divine.
"Cum for me, Riss.." With your voice raspy and low, it was as though your voice alone was what was able to send her over the edge, her back arching and her eyes squeezing shut as you followed right behind her, each others names leaving your lips as you both came.
With heavy breaths, you helped her ride out her high before pulling out of her slowly, still causing a whimper to leave her throat at the empty feeling. You took the strap off and threw it to the side to be an issue for later, before taking a rag out of the same drawer it came form to clean up your love as she laid back in her blissed-out state.
You moved to lay beside her, pulling a blanket over the two of you before capturing her in your arms. She dove into your embrace, your warmth and safety something she sought out as she came back to reality. You pressed kisses along her hairline as you traced your fingertips along her back. "You did so well for me, so so good for me, Larissa.. How are you feeling, my love?"
She pressed a kiss against your neck before moving her head to face you. She smiled as she met your gaze, seeing nothing but love in your eyes. You cupped her cheek, softly moving your thumb against it before planting a kiss to her forehead. "That was amazing.."
You couldn't help but laugh as the words left her. You took her in after all that just happened between you two, and it was crazy how you thought you still fell for her more than you already had.
The rain raced down the glass of your windows as it kept falling from the clouds above, but the fire that was once dancing along the logs of the fireplace was a dormant ember, casting red etches along the wood it sat on. You relaxed into each others embrace, settling there for the rest of the night as exhaustion held you both in its increasing grip, the comfort and safety you had for each other making it an easy choice as you fell asleep under the thick covers together, knowing you wouldn't be leaving each others side.
~~
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
𝐚/𝐧: THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE HELLO??
We can tell by the word count but HOOLLLLLYYY
This is where I want to be when it comes to writing stuff like this. It was so fulfilling seeing not only the word count but also the amount of detail I was able to put into it this time.
Anon, thank you SO much for the ask. I don't think we have a lot of sub!Larissa out there, so being someone to add to the fuel is fun even if I get both sides of writing for her.
I have some other asks but since the weekend is right here that means series time !! if all goes well, the next chapter will be out by the end of the weekend hehehhe. I'm excited for it lol
if you want to be added to my taglist for all my works you can DM me or comment on the post. Look at this post to see if you might have issues being tagged
I hope I wrote this to justice, anon ;)
~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)
@eveymay @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @finnja555 @barbarasstar @s-c-rambledegggs @vendocrap8008 @gwendolinechristieiscute @lilfartbox1
✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧
#larissa weems#larissa weems x reader#principal larissa weems#principal weems#larissa x reader#principal weems x reader#principal larissa weems x reader#larissa weems smut#sub!Larissa Weems#sub!Larissa#principal larissa weems smut#wlw smut#fanfic#fanfiction#anon#anon ask#req#anon answered#anonymous asks#ask#inbox#smut#larissa weems oneshot#larissa weems x you#larissa weems x y/n#crowravencrow
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just lyney a common criminal.
lyney / gn!detective!reader
synopsis : you never imagined that you would experience such a detrimental loss of trust, in someone you thought you would spend your future with, in just a few hours - but you guess you haven’t thought there would be a day where you would have to interrogate your partner over his true identity, either.
content : very short, established relationship, angst, hurt/no comfort. major 4.0 archon quest spoilers!!
words : < 1k
a/n : the povs are constantly changing to highlight how disorganised the reader and lyney’s thoughts are on each other because of the current events. so if you think the narrative is messy, it’s intentional!
“15:33, chief detective [full name]. interrogating mister lyney snezhevich for being prime suspect for…”
lyney doesn’t like this. the way you say his name sounds so bitter and cold, similar to the biting weather in snezhnaya. your voice wasn’t it’s usual inviting tone, your posture was tense, with shoulders back and head tilted while you read the documents that were flush against the table.
“…discrepancies to the testimony you have given to the court trial will result in a one hundred thousand mora fine and another public hearing.”
this would be the first time where lyney will have experienced your work persona and he wished he never had to at all.
not because he is worried about what you would do to him, nor potential punishments for the crimes he supposedly committed, but because he knows that you are unforgiving and merciless; as long as he is in this room, with handcuffs around his wrists and crimes to his name, in your eyes, the two of you are nothing more than strangers that know a little too much about each other.
however, in your own case, you think that perhaps you don’t really know lyney at all, the real one anyways.
“i don’t understand why you’re interrogating me like i’m some common criminal,” lyney tries to jokingly reason for you to relax, but your hardened expression does not falter in the presence of his plea.
not wanting this to be included in the recording, you pause the device.
“sir,” something dies inside lyney when you address him with such formality. no ‘love’, no ‘sweetheart’, no ‘starlight’. in your mind, he had lost that privilege the moment the papers were served to you.
“we are in a professional setting. i ask that you keep all conversation unrelated to the trial to yourself, or until after the record has finished.”
“but it’s me, lyney. your lyney.” his hands attempt to reach out for your own, “you don’t have to act like this with me-”, but you pull back. he visibly wilts at the rejection, you swear you hear something shatter.
and your heart hurts, burning with remorse. it squeezes and squirms at the sight of your partner, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, to tell him that this wouldn’t take long and that everything is okay.
but absolutely nothing is okay, your mind echoes back.
for all the years you have known him for, it’s not okay that he didn’t tell you that he was a fatuus; that he was from the house of hearth; that his father was arlecchinco.
it’s not okay that you realised that the very reason why he kept you company, why he held your hands so tightly, why he ‘courted’ you in the first place; was so that a harbinger had surveillance on fontaine’s security affairs with access to a direct source, that being you.
it doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots on that note.
you sigh, wanting nothing more than for this to be over, to go home and to grieve the loss of your lover - the imagine you had of him, more so.
“sir, the moment you stepped foot into my interrogation room is the moment you have become ‘some common criminal’. now, i implore that you answer the questions i had previously mentioned.”
you click the device back on again and lyney is forced to face the music.
an hour passes and the interrogation is over the moment the story was concluded, but lyney is not fully present to care. he’s too focused on you. on how no matter what he said, or the amount of time had passed, your cold shoulder still persists.
“thank you for your cooperation, sir.” checking over your documents and the recording, you silently pack everything up, ignoring how indigo eyes stare at you.
but no matter how much you willed them to stop, your hands wouldn’t stop trembling.
you are barely able to insert the key to free lyney from the constraints, let alone pocket the cuffs.
“darling, can we talk, please?” lyney is quick to stand and asserts a firm but gentle hold on your hands. he notes how frosty your finger tips are and he starts thinking that he should warm them-
but you are already forcing yourself away from him. lyney watches you ball your hands into fists and kept them close, as if the notion of his touch disgusts you.
“were you ever going to tell me?” with your voice barely above a whisper, lyney watches your tough exterior begin to crumble. a straight to the point question, and gods, you couldn’t even look at him.
despite this, the both of you knew the answer already.
“… i… i just…!”
he never intended for you to ever find out.
lyney can see your irises swirling with uncertainty and disdain, all directed at him.
he wants to retort that while he hasn’t been honest with you, he does trust you. that, if he were to tell you everything, you would be in danger, a target. he’s been lying to protect you, to protect the ‘us’.
“i… can’t, darling.”
and it’s ironic, that lyney, a renowned entertainer that frequently showcases his abilities to hundreds, is now struggling to find the words and confidence to fully explain himself. years of trained silence and secrecy has rendered him voiceless. lyney does not know where to even begin, but he can feel the ghost of his father’s constricting fingers wrapping around his neck.
“then i think we are done here.”
“(name)-”
“have a good day, sir.”
you do not look back. the door clicks shut. and lyney is alone.
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LUCIFER X ALASTOR'S DAUGHTER PART 3
requested by @alientee because they want to see the love blossom :)). (I am actually so happy you requested this<33)
Part 1 and 2 are on my acc!
at this point Alastor got a bit more used to the only reason of your visits to the hotel being Lucifer..
he's still mad about it, constantly sending the ambience hotel music into a void and replacing it with static as the sound followed you two for the next few minutes, but hes not as pissy about it as he was.
At first, when you and Lucifer came open about your secret relationship (which stayed secret for only a few weeks) , Alastor almost tried to kill Luci.
He gave you a three hour lecture on why men suck and followed your every move, but chilled slightly when Lucifer promised to keep you safe.
"Break her heart and I'll break your limbs". Lucifer knows it's not like Alastor could kill him, but he agrees anyway and does it with a 'scared' face, to get on Al's good side.
Alastor's got some sort of sixth sense or just spies on you two all the time, because the second your lips reach Lucifer's, faint static sounds can be heardm and the radio suddenly turns off.
Lucifer is also the sweetest man ever. He makes you gifts, always trying out new inventions for you to try, and being really clingy.
Reaallllyyy clingy.
I'm talking you could be working your ass off at the hotel (since you begged Alastor to let you work there, and now you do) and he'll just sit around you , play with your hair or fidget with your jewelry, make you sit on his lap as you work, or simply just whine until you drop whatever you're doing and cuddle him.
He loves surprising you, too. Taking you on dates, spawning you in his office..
"Love, Alastor's out of town!" Lucifer's voice startled you, as he walked out of his portal.
You continued signing a document, letting out a "He is? I haven't noticed."
"he's in Cannibal Town." Lucifer kissed your forehead as he dragged a chair and sat next to you, watching you work with a shine in his eyes.
You looked at him with a dumb smile. You knew that look.
"We should go out."
"we should." You agreed. "But we cant." His smile faded.
"Why not?" He took your hand in his, a frown on his face. He always loved taking you out.
"I've got a bunch of work. Charlie needs these documents signed, needs someone to do all of the new shopping , plus I need to order a bunch of stuff for the hotel. "
"can't someone else do that?"
"I don't trust Husk with online shopping"
Lucifer sighed. Even though he could've cheated everything you needed, he knew you loved to work. After being locked away in the Radio Tower with nothing to do, and everything you wanted being given to you, working felt like a luxury.
"Can we stay together, then? Cuddle? Kiss? Paint each others nails?" Lucifer suggested as you wrote your signature on a paper.
You laughed at his attempt to find things for you to do. "As long as you let me work."
Lucifer's face brightened as you got up and he sat in your office chair, befire plopping you on his lap. He buried his face in your neck and let his arms around your torso, playing with your shirt.
He kept kissing your neck, earning giggles from you. "Luci, I can't work like this!"
He pouted like a child, hiding his face into your back with a whine.
You sighed and got up, taking your laptop with you as you and Lucifer walked towards the couch. You layed down, his body on top of yours, your legs interlocked and his fac buried in your chest as he played with your hair. Your laptop was on his back as you did your work, completing documents, and shopping online.
The working session didn't last much longer, because you both pulled in for a soft kiss , which turned into more kisses, until you both fell asleep, this time the positions reversed.
They're so cute I can't 😭<3
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel fandom#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x reader
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zb1 as boyfriends!!
word count: 2.8k (only ca 350 for each)
a/n: requested!! I wrote them in bulletpoint form in an attempt to keep a structure, but I do apologize if it's in-cohesive because my brain is still in finals mode (cries). I also apologize if you think my use of emojis is too much but it just makes sense. Hanbin stans who hate coffee just pretend you don't for this 1 post <33 thanks
jiwoong
You guys. Jiwoong is THE boyfriend. He knows all the in's and out's of boyfriending™ at this point. Will not disappoint.
He might fall in love a liiittle before you, but honestly it would be pretty mutual from the beginning. I think he would have to meet someone with the mindset that it would lead to a relationship (probably doesn't go from being friends to dating) so if he meets you and likes you he would make it known :)
Pretends to like dates in the beginning; going out to have nice dinners, going on late night walks in the city, visiting animal cafés, anything that gives you a chance to talk a lot and really get to know each other.
When he knows he's got you he will prefer at-home dates though because going out is a little too much effort and he'd rather just chill on his couch <333 If you still want to go out for dates though he would of course compromise!!!
Speaking of which- he's so good at communicating and making sure you're both happy, in the relationship and otherwise. Kind of loves when you come to him for advice or admit when you're struggling with something because he sees that as a big sign of trust.
"hey I bet you can't get me a bag of chips from the convenience store in 15 minutes" and you speed to the convenience store because you're a fool in love <3
I don't think he is super lovey dovey- he's more about the casual displays of affection. A "hey, you look really nice today" when he can tell you made an extra effort. A packed lunch waiting for you in the fridge when he knows you're going to have a busy day. Of course he lets you know he loves you, just not every second of every day.
In general he is a very chill, low maintenance boyfriend who is secure in your relationship. Is mature enough to communicate and compromise with you whenever you disagree on something (which is very sexy of him 🤌 we love).
zhang hao
Oh you're totally the one who falls in love first. He has insane rizz- like you're going to be crushing on him for a good few months before he develops feelings back.
Once he does though he's allllll yours. Looks at you with full on heart eyes and giggles at everything you say but is cool about it if that makes sense?? Like he acts unaffected and tries to be the cool and sophisticated boyfriend but it's painfully obvious he's totally head-over-heels in love.
He is 1. a busy man, and 2. an introvert, so his favourite type of dates are in calm and not-so busy places where you can just wind down and spend time together, like small cafés or going for long strolls in nature and just talking. He would also love to just stay at home as you both do your own things, just vibing in peace and being productive.
Will nag at you for every little thing but it's out of love. It's always "babe a granola bar isn't a meal 😒" and "I can't believe you never remember to apply sunscreen!!" but it's not to be annoying he just cares about you (and most of the time he's right).
Brings you cut fruits to snack on when you're busy doing something <3
One thing about Zhang Hao is that he IS a great boyfriend, but he will remind you himself through small comments. "Am I not the best boyfriend... Where else could you find a boyfriend like me... You're so lucky to have the handsomest boyfriend...." He loves you so much and he doesn't want you to find another boyfriend so he is pitching himself so you don't go away <3
The most caring boyfriend who will look after you and make you feel so so loved. Life is exhausting sometimes but this relationship is the perfect safe space for the both of you to relax and be unapologetically yourselves.
hanbin
I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion but I think he would fall in love first!! He's a soft boi at heart, when he meets someone he likes he falls hard and FAST. Luckily for him you fall back though because duh he's Sung Hanbin.
COOKING AND BAKING DATES OF COURSE!!!!!! He will seduce you by cooking your favourite homemade dishes and making you the best cup of coffee you've ever had. Also learns how to make bread so he can lure you into being his partner forever and ever 😈
If you were up for it, I think he would love to take you out dancing. He will teach you if you want and are worried about embarrassing yourself, he just wants you to go out and have fun together!! Probably knows all the good spots and will take you out on the occasional Friday night 🕺🕺
We know this man stays busy, so he might not have that much free time to spend with you... That being said you have his undivided attention whenever he does see you. You have something to say?? All other conversations are unimportant. You're going into another room?? He won't follow you around but he IS counting the seconds until you come back.
If you compliment him on pretty much anything he is an emotional wreck the rest of the day. Wuws his praise, especially from you <3333
Kind of his favourite thing to do is to sit down with you after a long week, have some snacks and some nice drinks ready, and you just rant to each other about work/school/people or whatever. Sometimes you just need to complain to someone you confide in, ya know?? And he needs to know who your enemies are because they are his enemies too.
He just likes you a LOT and wants to involve you in all his favourite things. Hanbin loves life and having fun- and he wants you to have fun too!! You are his most beloved person ever and he shows that by making you a part of his life in all the ways he can.
matthew
There's not a single alternate universe where a relationship with Matthew wouldn't start as friends to lovers. I'm sorry it just works too well with him. You start falling for each other at around the same time, but he's probably the first one to confess. You're both just two fools extremely in love <3
Absolute date master but it's completely unintentional?? Idk, I think he would plan really cute date like picnics in the park or at-home movie nights with dinner. He just has a knack for dates that make you feel like the main character in a movie.
He has one (1) mission and it is to devastate you all the time. Prepare to receive cute texts for no reason, matching jewellery, and for him to ask to take couple pics that he can use as his phone background 🥲
Will teach you his choreographies. Even if it's only two easy steps. Doesn't matter if you are a dancer or not. His baby will be able to dance to his songs!!!
You know how he wants to be the hot Canadian oppa or whatever? Your partner privilege is that you're the only one allowed to tell him he's cute. Like he loves when you giggle and ruffle his hair and kiss his cheeks but that's only because he loves you. If Gyubin tried that shit on Matthew he would be on the floor in a chokehold. Use this privilege wisely.
When it's just the two of you he literally can't keep his hands off of you. Wraps his arms around you so you have no choice but to lie down on the couch and let him hold you and press kisses all over your face. He just likes his cuddles.
Overall a very loving boyfriend who lives to let you know how special you are. You deserve to be treated like a k-drama main character- so he ends up doing all the cliché, cute and romantic things for you that he never imagined himself enjoying before- but now has a special person to do them with <3
taerae
You both start liking each other around the same time. He's a pretty social guy and just very easy to like, so I feel like you would become close pretty fast, and he would confess that he likes you pretty quickly too.
As great as he is to spend time with and talk to- he sucks at the whole dating thing. He does really like you and wants to spend time with you almost always, he just doesn't like the logistics of arranging a date. What do you mean they don't show that movie next Friday?? What do you mean we have to decide where to have dinner?? Please just tell him where you want to go and he will happily go there with you. He just doesn't want to do the whole planning bit.
Sitting together in his bedroom as he strums on his guitar and you do something else.
Very cheesy boyfriend but it's so cute <3 Tooth-rottingly sweet texts and compliments for absolutely no reason, thoughtful birthday gifts, randomly getting you flowers, the works.
He could be the mature, calm, chill boyfriend..... but why would he want to?? Much more fun being your kind of insane boyfriend who acts like the calm and chill boyfriend in front of other people. Like sometimes he has Einstein level thoughts. Sometimes he lies to you that there is a dog behind you just for shits and giggles.
I think he has a pretty high EQ and he would give great comfort and advice if you needed it. Always there for you if you need to rant about your day and that annoying person you don't like, or if you have a problem that he has to help you solve. Empathises really well and never judges you for your honest thoughts.
Taerae really is just a great guy to begin with, but when he's in a relationship with you he is the nicest, most fun and supportive boyfriend . Always willing to go the extra mile for you and make you feel like the most loved person in the world :)
ricky
Hmmm.... I mean there's a much bigger chance that you fall in love first than the other way around. That being said: he's absolutely whipped when he does start liking you back. Like. Gyubin would make fun of him because he literally can't focus on anything else when you're around. So in the end you're both fools in love <3
Oh the dates are going to be top tier. Your wish is his command and the budget is LARGE, so pretty much wherever you want to go or whatever you want to do, he will make it happen. But I think he has a soft spot for museums, art galleries, basically anything "cultural". Or just walking around the city at night and seeing what's open.
Wants to engage in your hobbies!! He will ask a million questions about your interests (sports, music, cinema, drawing, whatever you're passionate about) so he can see you nerd out and maybe understand you a little better. He will also be SO SO SO happy if you're willing to engage in his interests and watch his favourite shows with him because THAT is true love <33
Tbh he's not always great at clearly expressing or asking for affection- but the one thing he would actually ask for is head massages. After a long day, he just can't resist the temptation of spacing out while you run your hands through his hair. He is still too embarrassed to ask for it with his words though, so he just gets all quiet and leans his head onto you and hopes you get the hint (you do).
He also wants to share everything. Mostly shirts, hoodies, jackets- sometimes jewellery. Be careful because while this does mean you can borrow his stuff, he will also borrow yours. Hide your shit if there's something you want to keep to yourself.
He is trying to be the cool, sophisticated boyfriend- but he's just a big softie at the end of the day!! He secretly loves all the cute coupley things like fancy dates and matching necklaces, and he loves to surprise you and watch your eyes go all wide in awe. Really just wants to walk around and be in love all day <3
gyubin
Friends to lovers where you meet through mutual friends and are in the same friend group for a while, silently crushing on each other until one of your other friends gets sick of the tension and tells both of you that you like each other.
Dates are very spontaneous but always fun!! If he has to run errands or go somewhere he will force you to come with him to keep him company. In return he says something to make you laugh approx. every 4 minutes to keep you entertained.
Oh when I say that he is attached to you at the hip... He can't go a full day without talking to you- either by text, on the phone, or face to face. Even when he is with you he HAS to be touching you pretty much all the time- holding your hand and playing with your fingers. If you ask him to tone it down in public he will... Begrudgingly..... Actually physically holding himself back from grabbing your hand.
His one mission every day is to make you laugh at least once. Has a folder of memes saved on his phone that he updates regularly so he can send you something every day.
Prepare to share all your drinks and food for the rest of your life. You got a smoothie?? He's taking the first sip "tO mAkE sUrE iT's nOt pOiSonEd" (you get to try his smoothie too don't worry).
Other than the fact that he needs to be next to you all the time?? He's pretty low maintenance!! Is perfectly fine with spending a whole weekend rotting away in his bedroom, cuddling up to you and scrolling through tiktok as you show each other funny videos that pop up on your fyp's.
In general I see him as being a very fun and loving boyfriend. You are kind of just besties who kiss, ya know? He genuinely likes spending time with you doing whatever- you're the funniest, kindest, best person he knows- and he lets you know by sending "ily" texts at least twice a day and holding your hand everywhere you go <3
gunwook
Oh he has the world's biggest crush on you for a while before you ask him out (yes you need to ask first he's too scared <3). I'm talking "doodling your name in his notebook with hearts next to it" levels of crush. Loses his mind when you ask him out like YOU LIKE HIM BACK???? Crazy.
A very sweet and polite young man to begin with (lucky you!!), but it's going to be 10x more intense with the person he likes. Prepare yourself to be treated like you saved the world 3 times, ended world poverty, hung the stars in the sky, etc.
He's still pretty young and gets too attached too fast so initially he's very scared to mess things up. Googles 'date ideas' to come up with stuff to do and watches K-dramas to learn how to boyfriend (he has NO idea what he's doing. send help. but it's very cute). With time he becomes more chill though.
Think classic dates in the beginning; watching a movie at the cinema, going to a café, stuff like that. When he gets more comfortable it's more like chilling in his bedroom as you binge watch a netflix show or cuddle and scroll through social media in comfortable silence.
A little dramatic sometimes: he gets super excited over all your small achievements and exaggerates when he tells you how TERRIBLE and AWFUL his day was. Also needs reassurance every once in a while that you really do like him back because he gets in his own head too much. Kind of a drama queen but in the best way.
Wayyy too shy to initiate pretty much ANY type of physical affection so he hopes you will just initiate instead and hold his hand. Ya boy is trying to play it cool but is also a little ~insecure~ so he is in a constant dilemma between holding your hand versus not holding your hand. WHAT IF HE DOESN'T HOLD YOUR HAND AND THEN YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM????? He is distressed 24/7.
Overall- very sweet and shy and confused but he WILL try his best to be the bf you deserve!! He's still working on exactly how to do that but rest assured: he does love you to bits and wants more than anything to make you smile every day 🥲 Best boy.
#zb1 scenarios#zerobaseone scenarios#zb1 reactions#zb1 imagines#zb1 fluff#zb1 drabbles#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone drabbles#zb1#zerobaseone#kim jiwoong#sung hanbin#zhang hao#kim taerae#seok matthew#shen ricky#kim gyuvin#park gunwook
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hello!! can you please do a list of “texts that make me want to throw my phone at the wall because it gave me butterflies and idk how to deal with all of those feelings” prompts? i’ve been in a mood for teeth rotting fluff idkw haha thank youuuuu x
List of “texts which gives me mad butterflies” prompts
“Wish you were here with me :((
Sending the cutest, most wholesome meme and attaching a simple “Us” at the end. (MATE, STFU AND TAKE MY RING AND ACCEPT MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL RIGHT NOW, I’m not even JOKING)
“You’ve got me smiling like an idiot right now, you know?”
“I miss youuu :((“
“So when do I get to see your pretty face again?”
Them sending a selfie of themselves with the caption of “;)” and the other character just going feral over the picture
Character B waking up to a long paragraph of Character A saying how much they love them
“Good morning/night, love <3”
Character B using Character A’s name/nickname in their texts in a playful manner (Just fucking take my SOUL already, this shit makes me melt every time!)
Instead of a text, Character A receives a voice message from Character B and it’s the cutest shit ever. Bonus points if it’s a voice message after they just woke up, and their voice is a lil’ raspy and UGH.
“Can’t stop thinking about you <33”
Character B taking a picture of something, sending it to Character A and adding “this reminded me of you!” or “Saw this and thought of you <3” (could either be something funny or cute or alludes to inside joke of theirs — the possibilities are endless)
Messages where they’re asking how each other’s day has been. It’s so simple but SO sweet.
“I don’t know if you know this, and if you weren’t already aware… I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOUUUU <333” (bonus: the other character replying “Bubba, trust me, I know”)
“I WANNA SEE YOU AGAINNN AAHHH” “we literally just parted ways” “i know but i already miss youuu :((“ (as much as I say I don’t like clinginess, THIS TYPE OF ENERGY IS SOMETHING I WANT)
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Lovesick ; Chainsaw man
Characters : Power , Angel Devil , Beam
Warnings : NOT PROOFREAD. masc pronouns for reader in Power's part , gender neutral / non-binary pronouns for Angel Devil and Beam. Possibly ooc for everyone- [ uh the Beam & Power one were made specifically for @rayuki and someone else ..& I asked for them to give me scenarios with their favs while I made the Angel Devil one for myself- ]
Synopsis : Them falling inlove with the reader and/or love at first sight. Basically just as the title says..Lovesick
Request[s] :
#1 ; Power : "Power seeing someone outside of Aki's apartment while home alone and gets bored so she says hi to them"
#2 ; Beam : "Romantic scenario let’sss seeee uhhhhh he wants to hold ur hand but is a little too nervous so he tries to find ways to let you know he wants too. Or he tries to find ways to build up courage to ask you- either is fine."
A/n : Hello loves! I'm finally writing again! This time for chainsaw man because the anime was hype and I'm having a csm brainrot. I'm taking Chainsaw man requests!! NO NSFW. Other than that enjoy <33
Denji and Aki left power to watch over the apartment. Why? Who knows, perhaps they couldn't trust her enough with this mission. "But then why bring Denji?" She's repeated that sentence in her head over a million times. Before they even left Aki had told her to not go anywhere and to not open the door for anyone, would she listen? Probably not.
But she hasn't done anything yet...surprisingly, she's just been sitting with Meowy while rolling on the floor. "Can you believe them Meowy! How rude of them to leave me here by myself- I should've just went anyway! As a matter of fact- I will! They can't tell me what to do!"
She stood up with a huff as she put on her shoes and began stomping to the door, slamming it open she kept that pout on her face til she noticed a male leaning on the railing infront of Aki's apartment. He had the uniform on, what was he doing here? Was he sent to watch over Power? "That's ridiculous! I can watch over myself!"
"You! Why are you here! Who are you- Did Aki send you to come watch me! Well I can watch myself I'll have you know-" She yelled at y/n as he just turned around, a confused look on his face.
He chuckled at the confusion washed over Power's face "I'm just here to get some fresh air..no need to be so angry." She slowly put her arm down and blankly stared at the male.
"If you're not busy, would you like to stay with me for a bit?" Trying to break the silence , Y/n asked Power a simple question that he hoped she would respond too.
She narrowed her eyes at him and thought about his offer. "Hmm...Fine. I suppose I could spend my time with you, human." She proudly smiled and she walked towards the male.
The two of them continued having a conversation about random things, just to pass time, it was mainly Power talking about anything and everything but they enjoyed each other's company.
These conversations went from minutes then quickly to hours long. But sadly it had to end when Y/n got called for a job. "Ah- sorry..I gotta go..I got called in. Wait- I never got your name?" Power stopped her ranting and stood proudly with her hands on her hips.
"The name's Power! Be happy that I chose to waste away my time with you, Human!"
Y/n only stared at her before smiling and tucking away some of her hair behind her ears, "Hello Power..the name's y/n." Power's eyes went wide as she stared back at him as he parted his hand away from her and began walking away.
She felt something completely new- something she's never felt ever, it was like....this warm feeling in her cheeks. Was it getting hot in here? Why does it suddenly feel like her face is burning-
Oh silly Power, you're inlove!
"It's so hot...can we go get another icecream before working again."
The red headed devil slowly followed behind you while yawning. You kept your eyes ahead.. ignoring any sighing and groaning the small male let out.
"As much as I'd really love too, Aki would kill us if we did." You reasoned with Angel, continuing to go to your location. "How about when we're done I'll get you some more, 'kay?"
He looked up at the sky in thought, silently pondering your offer for a few minutes before finally responding.
"You promise?"
"I promise."
The both of you continued to walk in silence before you heard Angel's groaning again. "Something's in my eye...I can't get it out.." Turning around to see what he was complaining about , you noticed his eyes seemed to be watering a bit.
You sighed as you pulled out a tissue from your pocket and leaned a bit closer to his face.
"There..all done. Your eyelashes are pretty long, that's probably what was in your eye." He stared at you with his usual blank face. You both stood there looking at each other in yet again, another comfortable silence.
"Hey...there was this movie I saw, a man and a woman were standing like this.." He took a small step forward towards you before continuing. "They were about this far from each other,..and then they kissed."
You slightly tilted your head in confusion. "What's your point?" Angel looked away and sighed , "I've never done something like that, and probably won't. Things like that never really interested me it just- never mind.."
You sighed and put the tissue over your mouth, you leaned even closer to Angel as his face slightly scrunched up a bit as if he was confused.
When he was about to ask what you were even doing his eyes widened when you put the tissue over his mouth and leaned down to give him a soft kiss over the thin cloth.
"There, was that okay?" You stepped back as he looked down, touching his lips before letting out a long groan and crouching down on the floor as he felt his cheeks heat up a little bit.
"I...I can't work anymore today.."
Living in a beach house was probably one of the best choices you've made, you get to go out to the ocean...nice views...a lovely house not near too many people, and then....Beam.
A fiend that you've become friends with..I suppose? You could say atleast, he'd visit you pretty often whenever you were just relaxing outside or just whenever he saw you he'd come running-
Speaking of which, he was sitting next to you right now. It was night and you decided to just sit outside and look at the stars and as usual, Beam came to see you.
"Hello Beam, it's nice to see you again." You smiled as you looked at him, Beam flashing you a toothy smile in return. "Yes! Nice to see you too!"
You chuckled at his response as you looked back at the sky, Beam rocked back and forth as he looked up as well.
There was silence between the both of you but you felt as if someone kept staring at you. To relieve your curiosity , you turned to face Beam...ah..Yeah, he was staring-
He let out a startled noise when you turned to face him before quickly looking back. You brushed it off as just you catching him off guard, but as you continued to look at the scenery you could see Beam out of the corner of your eyes turning to look at you once more.
"Ah- uhm!" You turned to look at Beam as he started talking, "yes?"
He continued looking at you as he fumbled with his hands a bit, you rested you hand in your palm as you patiently waited for him to let out whatever he needed to say.
Whenever Beam seemed to be around you , he always felt much more happy than he usually is. He'd feel his face heat up at the warm smile you'd always give him when he was around..
But at the same time,..as much as he'd want to hug you and such like he does with Denji..he never seems to have the courage to do so. Why? He's never felt like that before?
Your eyes widened and you let out a small gasp as Beam grabbed your hands in his. "Beam..thinks your pretty! The most beautiful human alive!"
You stared at him with wide eyes as you felt your own face slowly heating up. You both stared at each other in silence before you laughed. "Thank you Beam, but you're much prettier than I am."
#chainsaw man#csm#csm x reader#chainsaw man x reader#angel devil#power csm#csm power#power x reader#angel devil x reader#beam#beam csm#beam x reader#anime#manga#god i love them#chainsaw man x you
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hi!! can i ask for ot8 hcs dating idol!reader if you are comfortable with it, if not feel free to ignore this, have a nice day<33
-; ✧˖*°࿐ IDOL PARTNER HCS . HYUNG LINE .
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ SUMMARY ; you as an idol with your skz bf hcs !!
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ PAIRING ; hyung line x gn! reader
— warnings ; established relationships, LONG ASS HEAD CANONS, mentions of eating, minho’s & changbin’s hcs implies that ur in a gg.
— notes ; this is SO BAD because i literally know nothing abt idol life,, sorry if you hate this nonnie </3
— notes ; i’m sorry that these are so long😭
— notes ; i only did this as eldest three (3) simply because of how LONG they are, and the more i write for it the more i’m losing inspiration for it!
masterlist.
— CHAN !!
chan most definitely knew your leader and thats how you two met.
you and your group were getting yourself ready for a comeback stage and chan came to congratulate you guys on your comeback.
the both of you hit it off instantly, and exchanged numbers.
because of how close you and chan had gotten there we’re definitely a few dating rumours, that set both stay and your fandom off.
he most definitely plays your groups songs on his v-lives and he is ALWAYS singing your parts like he knows them off by heart
if you ever do a solo album you go to chan (3racha) to help you out because you trust his judgment.
when you and chan eventually start dating, it’s hard for him to not mention it at all.
this man is almost blurting out the fact he has a partner to his live.
“stay, i have someone, i haven’t seen them in a while because we’ve both been busy. but i love them so much, and i hope you understand… stay, i’m in a relationship with.. the sea!” and he starts laughing but it’s nervous laughter.
you and chan spend a lot of time in his studio, you’ve 100% picked up a few of his music production tips.
late nights in the studio with chan most definitely.
i can see you & him making a few covers of songs, like ‘i’m yours’, ‘iris’ and a few others, the both of you just jamming out, harmonising effortlessly just enjoying each other’s presence.
i think since the both of you know what it’s like to over work yourselves , you both make it your mission to make sure the other is taking the right amount of breaks, eating and sleeping properly.
he LOVES watching you onstage in your element. he’s just so proud of you, especially if you were nervous before hand.
theres just clips of him watching your groups performance, bopping his head with the biggest love sick smile on his face.
— MINHO !!
you met minho when you were filling in as an mc for your group member since she had something important to attend to.
he stormed into the dressing room to have some of his daily banter with your group member, only to find you in her place.
so theres just you sat there in the chair looking over your shoulder at him, startled. and him in the doorway blinking with a confused look on his face before he immediately apologises.
the both of you thought it was going to be awkward for the rest of the day, but you actually found it wasn’t. you and minho talking easily and making jokes.
he’s almost upset that you won’t be there to mc the next episode with him.
he next meets you when you’re both mcing for a different show and there’s constantly laughing and banter between the two of you thats theres dating rumours and shipping going on between the two of you.
we all know minho is a gg choreo lover, so there is no doubt there are fancams of him dancing to the choreography of your title song.
during your premonitions on instagram, tiktok, etc minho is always your partner for it and vice versa.
once your minho’s official partner, he’s always subtly telling stay’s he has a partner.
nobody ever gets the hint, because it’s minho, and the both of you find it hilarious.
minho will always go over your dances with you if you’re feeling like you can do better. he’ll watch over what you’re doing and direct your moves to help out.
when watching you preform on stage he’s literally copying every move in tiny.
— CHANGBIN !!
wow, surprisingly you guys met in the gym.
changbin goes to the gym daily so it’s not really a surprise that he was there.
but you were there because you needed to work on your upper body strength for a special stage you were doing (as well as your mv)
quick note from me,, i’m using solar from mamamoo as a reference for this hc (her pole dancing)
your first time there, you were only going there to scope out the gym.
and changbin noticed how timid you were so he came up to you with a soft smile and asked if you wanted any help.
you just stared at him in amazement because he was so ??? nice??? and even if you found him a little intimidating, you still felt safe.
you explained to him that you were just checking out the gym and he showed you around telling you what all the different equipment was for (if you didn’t already know).
when it’s time for you to leave, he gives you his number and tells you to contact him if you ever need any help.
that’s how the two of you end up as work out buddies (ft 3racha & sometimes minho).
though sometimes when he vlogs his workouts, you can’t workout with him that day because you don’t want any dating rumours because last time you had some you had a lot of bad backlash.
the two of you exchanged contact info because you had told him you’d be going to the gym less as your schedule was getting busier.
the two of you start going on frequent dates, you go to the gym together (when you can) and then go for food afterwards and he’ll drive around while you both talk about whats going on in your schedules/practices/comebacks/promotions, etc.
AND THEN YOU DO THE SPECIAL STAGE AND BACK STAGE CHANGBINNIE ASKS YOU OUR RIGHT THEN AND THERE
so as your bf, changbin is so smiley and giggly, and i guess while thats normal for him stay’s can’t help but question why he’s more smiley and giggly than usual.
“it’s all because of stay” is what he says, but then he’ll look away from the camera with his classic little grin and nose twitch.
he’s also a gg choreo lover, so 100% is he dancing to half of your groups songs
i can 100% confirm that he would write songs about you. whether or not they get published is a different story, but changbin will write so many songs about you.
the songs will vary from your smile to how much he loves you it hurts.
all rights reserved © property of @luvrhyune . please do not repost, claim or translate my work on this and / or any other platforms. thank you.
#🤍‼️. luvrhyune#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids x yn#stray kids fluff#bang chan fluff#bang chan x reader#chan x reader#skz headcannons#skz fluff#skz x y/n#skz x reader#lee minho fluff#lee minho x reader#lee minho scenarios#bang chan scenarios#skz changbin#seo changbin fluff#seo changbin x y/n#seo changbin x reader
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Akio’s narrative and what it means to be “special”
Here's a bit of a rambly analysis I wrote about the concept of being "special" or "chosen" and what it means within the narrative of Revolutionary Girl Utena, as well as the biased framing of the narrative itself. It also became kind of a character analysis of Akio on accident.
General trigger warning for mentions of grooming, incest and victim blaming. Contains spoilers for the whole show.
In the world of Ohtori Academy, being “special” is synonymous with being a victim of Akio.
In episode 20, when Utena goes to Akio for advice regarding the situation with Wakaba, he reveals his philosophy about there being two kinds of people in the world: those who are special, and those who are not. He tells Utena that she is special, while implying that Wakaba is not. This is a textbook grooming tactic, making a kid feel special/important/mature/whatever in the eyes of an adult to gain their trust and emotionally distance them from their peers, but what I find interesting about this scene in hindsight is that the reason Utena is “special” in the first place is because of Akio. He’s the one who gave her the ring that made her part of the dueling game (part of the narrative), he and by extension Anthy are the ones who presumably manipulate the duels to give Utena the power of Dios that lets her win, and he’s the one who inspired her to become a prince, which is what makes her classmates view her as special too. In a way, Utena is a chosen one protagonist, but we come to realize that it’s only true in the sense that the villain has chosen her as his victim. Akio is not interested in Utena because she’s special, as he would like her to believe, but rather she becomes “special” because Akio has an interest in her — and had it since she was a vulnerable and impressionable child. (I believe that it was Akio who found her in the coffin, not Dios. Although I will also get to the idea that Dios might never have existed in a bit.)
What about the rest of the cast? Aside from Utena and Anthy, our main characters, the people who are designated as special by the narrative are the student council. The duelists who received their rings from End of the World. Again we have Akio deciding who gets to special within the world itself and within the story, and he is deliberately choosing people who are vulnerable, people who all have this fucked up idea about what love looks like. There is nothing special about them, really, apart from them being the exact kinds of people most vulnerable to being taken advantage of by Akio.
Of course this idea he has of people is a false one, but it does have a real impact on the social hierarchy of the school, how people perceive each other, and especially how people perceive themselves. The main example of this is Wakaba, whose duel is all about the frustration of being a side character, but really it extends to all of the Black Rose Duelists. They get their time in the spotlight, their focus episode. They get to be special, but like Akio says in episode 20, it’s only for a short time. It’s only as long as they’re useful to him. It makes sense why Wakaba is angry, and feels looked down on, but with this interpretation of what being special actually means for the characters in Utena, it is perhaps a good thing that she isn’t.
This viewpoint Akio has of the special and the non-special, and how much it frames the narrative of Utena, leads me to believe that the show, or at least a lot of it, can interpreted as being framed by him. The most direct example of this is episode 33, where many of the scenes are literally framed from his point of view, but I do think it extends to a lot of the narrative as a whole. It explains why Utena is the main character, since she’s the duelist whose abilities Akio is focused on cultivating throughout the plot. We find out in episode 13 that he has been watching her duel, and that he thinks there’s a chance she’ll make it to the final one. This implies that, at least symbolically, the first 12 episodes are him watching her to try to figure out her potential. He is not literally “behind the camera” as he is in episode 33, instead he has more of a director role. We know that he has some kind of semi-omniscient perspective of the school and what goes on in it, and I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that that is what we are seeing when we watch the show, at least to an extent. It also explains why he is rarely obviously framed as the villain. We know he is because of the horrible things we see him do, and the show knows it too, but a lot of the time as he’s doing them, there’s a weird sort of cognitive dissonance between the between the framing/presentation of the scene and the horrifying contents of it, which makes it really unsettling. In particular I’m thinking of the weirdly upbeat and romantic music in episode 30. Akio’s grooming of Utena is often presented as this fairy tale-esque romance, because that’s how he wants her (and us?) to see it. Despite the sinister things going on in that episode, the only thing ever framed as such is Anthy. So let’s talk about her now.
The idea that the story of Utena is framed, directed and narrated by Akio really calls into question whether or not we can take his and Anthy’s backstory as presented at face value, and even aside from the symbolic and metaphorical nature of it, I really don’t think we can. I think Akio intentionally paints himself as a victim in it, someone who was once good but isn’t anymore because someone else (Anthy) made him that way. He has constructed this narrative where he is not at fault for anything he does, because his power to be good is literally locked away somewhere, when really, he could just stop being so fucking horrible.
I’m honestly inclined to take him at his word when he says “there never was a prince in this world to begin with” in episode 38. Dios never really existed, both in that the idea of The Prince (as well as The Princess and The Witch) is a constructed role and a metaphor, but also in that Akio was never a different person. He might have been kind once, but that wasn’t taken from him by anybody, he just grew up and he decided to hurt people. Did something tragic happen to him and Anthy to shape the cynical way he views the world? Absolutely. But it’s not an excuse he can use to justify everything like he tries to do. Several times throughout the show we see Akio pushing blame away from himself; he tells Anthy that it’s the world that’s hurting her, not him, in episode 37. In episode 38 he says she “enjoys being a witch.” And he’s not the only one to use Anthy as a scapegoat and blame her for things that aren’t her fault—this is something most characters do just as much as they project their desires onto her—but if he is framing the narrative this way, and that is what impacts the viewpoints of everyone else, then it does all circle back to him in the end.
I think part of him genuinely believes it too, that his own biased reframing of the story is the truth, and that this is how he copes with the guilt he feels for what he does. But of course the guilt is never stronger than his selfishness, which is why he never changes. And I think Anthy has internalized his version of these events as well, which is part of why she’s so trapped. She believes all of it is her fault, that he is the way he is because of her. This is not to say that Anthy is a blameless or innocent person, because she isn’t and she does hurt other people, but the idea that the abuse is somehow mutual between her and Akio or that they’re in any way on a level playing field in their relationship is simply not true. When he says his “Must you still torture me?” line in episode 34, that’s not some revealing insight into her having the upper hand the whole time, actually, it’s just him projecting his guilt and blaming her for his actions again. All she does in this scene to make him react like that is say “Good night, brother,” and to me it has always read as him being upset at being reminded of his role in all of this as the abuser. He cannot stand the fact that he is the one in the wrong here, and he has to make himself believe that Anthy is the one making him do it. Classic victim blaming in action here. It’s worth noting that she does look sinister when she smiles at him in this scene (and I imagine she does feel satisfaction at getting back at him in whatever tiny ways she can,) but again, if he frames the narrative, he is the one framing her that way in the first place. Anthy is not a witch. Not literally and certainly not within the symbolism and metaphor of the show. That’s a role Akio has cast her in. It’s a role she chooses to play as well, to an extent, but it’s questionable how much choice in the matter she really has.
All of this is why it’s so significant that the show ends when Anthy leaves Ohtori. When she leaves Akio. The narrative is Akio’s, and because Ohtori is Akio’s world, leaving it necessarily means leaving the narrative as well. Which is why we never see Utena and Anthy finding each other, or what is really outside the Academy — Akio’s perspective is just too limited for that, and it isn’t for him to see either.
I also just find it nice that their reunion and relationship doesn’t have to be a Story. They don’t have to be characters anymore, there doesn’t need to be any grand conflict beyond what is expected of being real people in the real world in a real relationship. They aren’t “special” anymore, and they’re not being watched. Not even by us.
(Here’s a fun little bonus about Nanami: I don’t believe every part of the show is framed and directed by Akio, and he certainly has no reason to care about all of Nanami’s silly side-plot shenanigans. So I like to think that all of the more comedic episodes are Anthy’s work. It’s already heavily implied that she’s the one pulling all these pranks on Nanami, and as insult to injury this is Anthy framing her in the most ridiculous way possible on purpose.)
#revolutionary girl utena#analysis#utena#anthy#akio#m#the narrative#all girls are like the rose bride#akio and utena#akio and anthy#utena and anthy
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heyy!! can i request LJ and Candypop ( ,,if you write for him) sharing a fem!reader? (headcanons or something else) i don’t mind <33
a/n: I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT CANDY POP WAIT omg he's one of those creepypastas that i heard about but never really looked into so. first time writing him so i hope i did him justice for you! i wasn't sure if you wanted something more lighthearted or something darker so i did my best to keep it balanced.
LJ and Candy Pop sharing a fem!reader.
warnings: my knowledge of candy pop comes from the creepypasta files wiki page so just a heads up if i get something wrong, opted to make reader a creepypasta here but it's very vague, lj and candy pop are like frenemies in this i suppose, sorta hints that the reader might've been forced into this relationship, my hand slipped and i dropped a 'good girl' in here somewhere i couldn't help myself, possessive behavior from both of them, implied unhealthy relationship.
Man, what's it like having a 7ft tall imaginary monochrome clown that terrorizes children and a 7ft tall colorful Night Terrors possessed jester be in love with you? It's probably a strange experience.
They both argue over who caught feelings for you first. LJ swears up and down that he fell for you first, but Candy Pop claims it to be love at first sight. Honestly, you've just chosen to believe that they both fell for you around the same time.
The two of them were definitely hesitant to share you, though that was more on Candy Pop's side than it was LJ's. Listen, sharing a body/soul with the literal demon king makes you a bit possessive over things, okay?
You don't particularly mind either way, to be honest. They're both a bit... much to handle at times, but you guys make it work. Like... literally. You had to plan out an entire schedule and everything because they kept bickering about how much time the other spent with you.
LJ gets you on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays while Candy Pop gets you on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Sundays are days you spend alone because it's always good to have some time for yourself.
Of course, they don't... follow the schedule that often. Why would they? They aren't confined to the mortal chains of schedules.
They are both equally romantic in their own right, and you won't lie, you certainly have enjoyed a few of the spontaneous dates they've taken you on. Sometimes, they'll even get together long enough to plan out an outing for all three of you. They can get along, see?
Now, we can't forget that they are both murderous entities. One is an imaginary friend turned serial killer and the other is... something. A demon? A poor possessed soul of a jester? Whatever he is, he's deadly. Shall I provide some examples?
Example one: Laughing Jack was abandoned by the one person he was created to befriend, so trust me when I tell you that he has some deeply rooted abandonment issues. He's all fun and games until there's even the slightest possibility of you leaving him. Even if someone makes an offhand remark about how you should leave him, his entire persona does a complete 180.
Suddenly, his hold on you is just a bit more tighter than it normally is, and you can feel his nails digging into your skin, threatening to draw blood. It's a subtle, silent threat of what he could do to you if you ever tried leaving him.
Example two: Candy Pop, as a whole, is somebody you have to be wary around because his mood can flip like a switch. He'll be happily humming away about some random topic one moment, and the next he's pushing you up against a nearby wall and looking at you with such a crazed look that it's almost hard to believe that this is the same person who claims to be in love with you.
He's the type to remind you of where you belong. You belong by his and LJ's side, so don't you ever forget that, okay? You really don't want to see what'll happen if you do.
In the end, though LJ and Candy Pop have a habit of bickering with each other, they'll make one hell of a team if it means keeping you in their grasp. You don't fit with anyone but them, and you don't need to fit with anyone other than them. They're the perfect match for you, and you'll come to see that sooner or later. So, all you need to do is be a good girl and stay by their side, got it?
It's Sunday. Sundays are supposed to be your day. You had plans to hang out with the other girls, maybe even play dress up with Sally if she was up for it. So, why the hell were you currently stuck in bed, sandwiched between a clown and a jester?
You have no clue because you just woke up and they were already here. Sure, you could just… wiggle your way out of bed but then they would wake up. Do they even need to sleep? They aren't mortal like you are, so sleep doesn't seem like a necessity to them. But it's not like you can just stay in bed all day either. You had things you wanted to do!
So, with a very silent sigh, you slowly start to sit up, untangling yourself from the mass of limbs trapping you to your bed. You were able to sit up with relative ease, the hard part would be crawling over either LJ or Candy Pop to get out of bed. That would be… that would be difficult.
Even if you were to try and crawl over one of them, you weren't able to because before you could even decide which one to crawl over, you were being pushed back into laying down again by Candy Pop.
You let out a small 'oof' as soon as your back hit the mattress.
"Where do you think you're going?" You hear LJ ask, and with one quick glance at him, you can see a slight pout on his face. It was almost enough to make you forget about the feeling of his nails gently grazing your stomach.
If he just decided to dig them into your--
"She's not going anywhere." Candy's voice murmurs directly next to your ear, effectively cutting off your train of thought. You only belatedly realize that he had buried his face into your neck, his hair brushing against your face, "Right, angel?"
Well… it seems like you're not going to be getting rid of these two today, so whatever plans you had for the day were going to have to be put on hold until next Sunday. You just hoped the two of them didn't make a habit of this.
#anon#laughing jack x reader#candy pop x reader#laughing jack x you#candy pop x you#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta#literally slapped a photo of candy pop into pixlr and hyper zoomed on his eyes to look at the pixels to figure out the exact shade of them#and i didn't even mention his eyes in this so it was a pointless endeavor#i spent 4 hours writing this i think bc i kept getting distracted so if it's a mess im sorry
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hi! could you write a one shot with Dalton Lambert x reader, please <33 maybe he can't sleep so reader helps him by sleeping with him and both of them have a crush on each other, thank you!!
A Soporific Relationship
Thank you so much for this request; it is my first one and such a cute idea! I hope I did it justice and Dalton isn't too OOC. This is edited and proofread, but please let me know if I missed anything or if there's a specific part you like! Thanks for reading and enjoy! :) 1.1k+ words, no warnings that I know of!
Dalton Lambert was no stranger to sleepless nights. During one of his first sleepless nights at college, he met you. You saw someone walking through the courtyard outside your dorm and started a conversation about being unable to sleep. You quickly became best friends, though your feelings didn’t stop there. Since that night, Dalton always craves your company, especially on sleepless nights like tonight.
“I don’t even remember the last time I slept through the night. I’m exhausted, but I can’t get my brain to stop long enough to sleep, I guess,” Dalton confesses as you look at his newest drawings.
“Dalton, have you ever tried a weighted blanket?” You ask.
“Yeah. My mom got me one a few years ago, but it didn’t do anything but make me hot and claustrophobic.”
“Ok.” You sat on his bed and looked away from him as you asked your next question. “What about sleeping with someone else? Like sharing a bed?”
Dalton doesn’t answer, so you glance at him without turning. Rubbing the back of his neck, he clears his throat before answering.
“No, I haven’t. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s a good idea. What if I sleepwalk and hurt you- I mean, whoever I was sleeping with?” He exhales a shaky breath as you finally turn to face him again.
“You should try.”
“I can’t.” Dalton shakes his head as he speaks. “I wouldn’t even know who to ask, and if I-“
“Dalton,” you cut him off and place your hand over his, ignoring the burning in your skin at the contact. “I’ll stay with you.” You see his eyes widen and add a quick, “If you want.”
“I can’t risk hurting you,” Dalton states, flipping his hand to grasp yours.
You stand, raising your free hand to push through his hair. “I trust you.” And I'm in love you, is on the tip of your tongue, but you swallow it.
Dalton nods slowly, agreeing as he squeezes your hand.
“Dalton? I need my hand back so I can go grab my clothes.”
“Just wear some of mine,” he says quickly before adding, “Please don’t leave.”
He pulls you by your joined hands as he pulls clothes from his dresser, handing them to you as he goes. He turns back, and you smile and bite your lip to keep from laughing at his sudden absence of common sense.
“I need to change,” you inform with a gentle smile. “Can I have my hand and a minute of privacy?”
“Of course. Sorry.”
Dalton steps outside the door while you change, grabbing your hand again as soon as you open the door after changing. His gaze catches on your body in his clothes, a sight he could get used to. He attempts to shake those thoughts from his head; you agreed to stay as his friend, and he can ignore his feelings for a night. Right?
“This is going to be a tight fit, so you get comfortable first and then tell me where you want me?” you suggest as he plugs his nightlight in.
“Um- why don’t you get in first, against the wall? Just in case anything happens.”
“Ok.”
You crawl under the covers and settle on your side, with your back to the wall. Raising your arm, you invite Dalton to join you. He lies down, stiff as your arm settles over him. Shifting, he ends up face-to-face with you.
“You need to relax. You’re never going to be able to sleep this tense. It’s just me,” you say gently.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“That's fine. So we know weight makes you claustrophobic, but what if we,” you trail off as you move your arm to rest on Dalton’s side, encouraging him to wrap his arm around you.
Your movements force your chest against Dalton’s, and the feeling of your steady heartbeat makes his heart speed up - the opposite of your desired effect. His emotions wake up again, and he realizes how he truly feels. Usually, his brain shows him insidious images while he tries to sleep, but tonight all he can think about is you and how much he loves you.
“Do you think you can go to sleep?” You ask.
Dalton doesn’t answer, so you pull back to look at him. You see his eyes are closed, and his face is relaxed, smiling as you realize he’s already sleeping. He unconsciously pulls you closer and drops his head toward your shoulder, the last thing you feel before you fall asleep.
The next morning, you can’t believe your luck when you wake up before Dalton. You’ve never seen him look so peaceful, so relaxed, so close. As you lay there in silence, you set out to memorize every detail of his face. Committed to your mission, you don’t realize how much time has passed, but you feel Dalton’s grip tighten on you momentarily before his eyes flutter open.
“Are you ok?” He asks as his eyes meet yours.
“I am. Are you?” You respond.
“I have to tell you something.” He waits for you to nod before continuing, “I don’t have insomnia. Not exactly. I can astral project, or that’s what I think happens. But the realm, dimension, whatever the place I go to is - it’s dangerous. I see things and people that aren’t there, and I think it’s getting worse because now they’re attacking people here, in the real world. And as much as I like sharing a bed with you and being with you, I can’t. The thought of losing you, those things hurting you, or me doing something to you is too much to handle. Especially when you make me feel-“
You’re paying attention, you swear you are, but when he starts expressing how scared he is of something happening to you and his arms are tightening around your waist, you can’t help it. Your lips are on his before you even think about moving. He freezes, and you start to pull back, apology ready to spill out before he pulls you back in.
“I like you,” you mumble into his mouth as he kisses you again.
“I like you too. ‘S why I can’t lose you,” Dalton responds before deepening the kiss.
You distantly acknowledge the sound of a door opening, but Chris’ scream keeps your attention.
“Finally!!” She yells before sitting on the bed across from Dalton’s and launching into a speech about how she knew and how cute you are together.
“Next time, we’re staying in my room,” you mumble as you move your face into the crook of Dalton’s neck.
“And taking her key,” Dalton adds as he ducks his head to capture your lips again, raising one arm to show Chris the way to the door, maybe with his whole hand, maybe with just one finger. All that matters to you is the boy beside you.
#dalton lambert#dalton lambert x reader#insidious#dalton lambert fic#dalton lambert fluff#insidious the red door#requests
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— gimme hugs!! pls…?
wc: 400, pairing: niki x gn!reader, genre: fluff, warnings: none
PROMPT: 1 and 6 from list 1: “hugs that last a little longer than they should” and “no we are not together!! … at least not yet…”
AN — tysm for requesting <33 hope you enjoy :)
1k event requesting masterlist
being in the friend zone with niki was a tough spot. the boy was always having mixed emotions. some days, it was like he was in love with you, others he didnt talk to you the whole day.
now it was no secret to your friends that you both liked each other. but unfortunately they also knew that neither of you were going to confess until the other did. which was a recipe for disaster.
“so yn and niki, you both confess yet?” heeseung said as he ate his lunch. you choked on your water, and niki started turning red. “we aren’t together!!” niki said after he calmed down. he looked at you for a reaction and saw you got slightly sad. “not yet..” you whispered softly for him not to hear, but he did.
for the rest of the school day, he couldn’t get what you said out of his head. did you feel the same he did? were you serious? all these unanswered questions floating in his head was driving him crazy. he knew he had to do something about it.
“yn wait up” niki said as he saw you leave the school building. you turned around and smiled at him as you waited. you wondered what was up with him now, he normally never stops you when leaving.
“can i-“ niki said before he cut himself off, not trusting himself to continue further as he pulled you into a hug. you stiffened at the contact, but soon relaxed in his hold. “goodbye hug?” you asked teasingly. “yes” he said as he continued to hug you in front of the school.
“okay, thats long enough.” you said as you patted his back slightly. “jus a little long, please, need your hugs.” he said as he continued hugging you. you blushed at the comment but still obliged to his wishes.
“niki i have to go now” you said as you checked the time. if you didnt get home in the next few minutes, your parents would go ballistic. “okay, but you owe me more hugs tomorrow okay” niki said as he released from the hug. “okay” you said as you smiled brightly at him.
jus before you left, you placed a small kiss on his cheek. he froze up as he looked at you. then started turning red, you giggled and waved at him goodbye before walking home.
#k’s 1k event💋#enhypenwriters#hotelnetfics#enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen smau#enha#enhypen social media au#niki angst#enha niki#nishimura niki x reader#enhypen niki#niki fluff#riki fluff#nishimura riki x reader#riki imagines#niki imagines#nishimura riki#enhypen riki#jungwon imagines#heeseung imagines#sunoo imagines#park jay imagines#park sunghoon imagines#enhypen jake imagines
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honestly? it could've been worse.
lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')
there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!
furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.
so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33
to: @gummygowon 🖤
MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3
to: @lunalovesstories 🖤
lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33
to: @cheolhub 🖤
SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3
to: @toruro 🖤
mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3
to: @prodsh00ky 🖤
hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!
to: @koqabear 🖤
sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3
to: @boba-beom 🖤
smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33
and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep
hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333
🖤 — january
27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp
🩶 — february
regrettably empty :(
🤍 — march
23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party
🖤 — april
04: frat boy!yeonjun
07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au
+ self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut
08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink
11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)
13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader
16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au
21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au
🩶 — may
09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun
16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao
+ 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex
+ early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun
19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun
27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au
28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)
🤍 — june
01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au
03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1
06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2
13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader
23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)
24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin
26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp
🖤 — july
04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin
08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au
+ best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online
started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)
13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)
17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)
24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)
31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted
🩶 — august
05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au
+ 3k event — soobin + the avengers
11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au
26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)
🤍 — september
02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)
12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au
21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader
22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun
🖤 — october
03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au
23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au
🩶 — november
07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au
🤍 — december
started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO
🖤 — writing plans
get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)
rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au
going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au
and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader
cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun
wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au
the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au
love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au
adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au
art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle
and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)
🩶 — goals for this blog + myself
interact with more ppl! and more often!!
write 150k words?? we'll see...
write longer fics!!
plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!
that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3
- ashlee
p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)
#tumblr is being wonky so i made a separate recs post </3#also this is a wee bit late but pls ignore that#2023 wrap up#apologies if i missed anyone :(
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