#that the song i listen to while drawing is normally not related in any way to the drawing
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Kuervo!! P!Krow is one of my favorite psmp characters he's just a little guy who doesn't like guns. I'm really excited to see this character's backstory and learn more about him :)
Song that I listen to on repeat while drawing this: Soft Boy (Wilbur Soot)
#pirates smp fanart#pirates smp#p!krow#kuervo#p!krow fanart#kuervo fanart#this is such a cool character design#major props to krowfang#because this character is super cool#i must know how he lost his eye#also i may or may not have forgor his scars#oops#also#id like to reitirate#that the song i listen to while drawing is normally not related in any way to the drawing#scurvyblr
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sorry for cloggin up your ask box, but i don’t have an ao3 account, so i hope this will do
i love the way you write the kids, especially nikki. she’s so mature, funny and polite, makes my mouth hurt from smiling hearing her and scout talk
another thing, thank you for having the kids act normal around scout and sniper being romantic‼️ they’re not homophobic, just the usual little kid “eww kissingg”
the descriptions of panic attacks are incredibly realistic
also as someone with adhd, you wrote scout SO well. i have the inattentive type and i relate so hard, despite not being hyperactive. forgetting things that i just put in my pocket, wondering if i have my phone while literally being on it, losing your train of thought, drawing constantly, and rejection sensitive dysphoria
i hope it’s okay i’m writing you fan mail in your ask box, i don’t really read fanfic but you’ve got me hooked here. i don’t even know how i started liking sniperscout, but before i read yours i read… ah what’s the name… i forget (searched ao3, it was called “somethin’ stupid, like “i love you”” by preciousposey. man that was a good fic too)
anyway uh
thank you for being a great author!! hope you sleep well and have zero writer’s block forever <3 (and i hope your living situation gets better, i’ve made it up to ch 18 so (why am i getting deja vu writing this im sorry if i did this last time))
thank you! yeah i love nikki. i used to work with kids a lot (a LOT) and they’re just hilarious dude. sometimes these kids will say some shit that’s so excellent and so fun and so entertaining and will know what’s up and she’s kind of a representation of that. kids are great.
and yeah i guess i just don’t personally see like. the value in putting overt homophobia into the tf2 universe. there’s not really the overt expectation of ‘realism’ with the tf2 canon, and while i consider grounding these characters and putting them in more normal circumstances to expand on their more human characteristics to be kind of A Thing I Often Do, i don’t think i need the blunt instrument that is Gritty Realism Through Onscreen Bigotry to make any of the points i want to make in this series. the flavor is kept intentionally lighter throughout that series so that when it gets heavy, it hits a little harder. in other things ive written, and in things i might write in the future, that might pivot, but i don’t ever see bigotry being something necessary to the plot or development of characters in the RB universe.
writing scout as adhd feels kind of inevitable at a certain point if you’re diving into his characteristics and the way he tends to behave. we don’t have a ton to work with but, c’mon. intentionally or unintentionally, he always ends up adhd. the relatable king
and no lie i’ve been listening to ‘still alive’ a LOT lately idk what happened. i listened to that song back in like 2015 a lot then didn’t again until like. three weeks ago. portal was too good for any of us
also just goddamn the fuckin horror movie violins when someone is pre-chapter 20 of taking shots. me when i’m 2/3rds of the way through “sniper dies in this”
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hello we return to ramble about music because music is one of our biggest hyperfixations ever. hai [Do let us know if you're ever tired of us sharing music though Shauaiakdjcjsjdfj]
Do you have a favourite song? A favourite band or musician? PLEASE do share if so, we're always looking for new music especially from friends!!
We have!!! song reccs for you :] Song for the Dead and Song for the Deaf, both by Queens of the Stone Age! Both songs are very red to us [we have synesthesia] and they remind us collectively of Phys Instrument and I!
-PT
HAI HELLO!! my music friends the furies!! (hjfkjh dont worry, i love hearing from you!! :D <33)
2. ooh, thank you PT, i was just listening to Song for the Dead on the subway the other day, it sounded so cool!! i assumed it was a Physique vibe, but so cool to hear who exactly :D im listening to Song for the Deaf now, just really good guitar for both of these songs, the words are sung more lyrical in this one :0 the ending is amusing, just silence and then laughing to the instrumental hdkjh <3 extremely red vibes, you're so right for this <3 thank you for sharing the PT and Fizzy songs :D <33
1. oh god i have to put this under a cut. tl;dr: my current favorite song is Too Sweet by Hozier because it reminds me of Voli and Chemi :]!!
hgkjh did you know my bio used to say "i can relate any hozier song to disco elysium"? the statement is hyperbole, but i love hozier so fuckin much heres just a bunch of nonsense:
"Too Sweet" is a volistry song. to me. ("I take my whiskey neat~" "My coffee black and my bed at three...") echem thinks voli's too uptight ("You keep telling me to live right / to go to bed before the daylight... / but then you wake up for the sunrise... / don't you just want to wake up... / lost in a haze?") and voli thinks echem is too hedonistic ("If you're drunk on life-" "Babe, I think it's great~" "But while in this world... / I aim low / I aim true and the ground's where I go / I work late where I'm free from the phone / And the job gets done / But you worry some, I know.") and in this way they're "too sweet (morally/indulgently)" for each other, but they fall in love around the "You know, you're bright as the morning, soft as the rain" "Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape" mark because they start to balance each other out so they're not overworking/refusing all joy and not giving in to every temptation/dangerously ignoring health and responsibility for dopamine and they're GOOD FOR EACH OTHER... im. not normal about them ever i could write essays about them :'] (also the bells in the chorus just hit different i love that shit man...)
i've been meaning to draw Echem with the song "Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" just for the title alone lmao... but it's absolutely a bop and i enjoy it :]
"Jackie and Wilson" is TRULY LIKE. IS ANYONE SEEING THIS. "Cut clean from the dream at night / let my mind reset / Looking up from a cigarette and he's already left" "He'll know me crazy, soothe me daily, better yet, he wouldn't care / We'll steal his Lexus / be detectives / ride 'round picking up clues" IS ANYONE ELSE HEARING THIS THAT'S FUCKING HARRY AND KIM. HELLO??
my other alternate bio used to read "From Eden is such a de song. if you even care" i need everyone to listen to this and tell me its not a disco elysium song ogughgjkh!!! "Honey, you're familiar / Like my mirror years ago" "Innocence died screaming" "A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree" HOZIER MY MAN YOU DID IT BUDDY THAT'S THE GAME!!!
i can perfectly imagine which skill is singing which line to harry in "Almost (Sweet Music)" as he gets over dora and falls in love with kim. imagine them smoking on the balcony together while the skills swirl around them, invisible to kim but nudging harry and each other.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Let's get lost and let the good times roll!
SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - Let's smoke rings from this paper, doll~
SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Blow sweet and thick 'til every thought of it don't mean a thing.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - I got some color back.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He thinks so too...
INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - I laugh like me again... She laughs like you.
RHETORIC [Legendary: Failure] - I wouldn't know where to start...
PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - Sweet music playing in the dark.
VOLITION [Godly: Success] - *Be still*, my foolish heart-
COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - Don't ruin this on me...
"First Time" is harry and dora ("the first time that you kissed me / i drank dry the river lethe" YOU MEAN THE GREEK RIVER THAT MAKES YOU FORGET EVERYTHING HOZIER???), "Eat Your Young" is truly a Disco Elysium vibe song of political ideology, do i even have to mention "Take Me to Church" for the idolization of Dora? and "Like Real People Do" [just straight up starts sobbing on the floor.] when the... the two people with similarly sad pasts learn to grow and heal together... we should just kiss like real people do... fucking hell man...
i also like!! AJR (current fave: Inertia [waltz time my adored]), The Oh Hellos (Hieroglyphs [the beat! the melody! the lyrics! singing together! ough my love... i miss choir]), The Altogether (See The Day [makes me cry. volition song i think]), American Authors (Luck [longtime favorite]), and Ricky Montgomery (currently it's Cabo but god this man's got bops. This December. Line Without a Hook. Get Used to It. Snow [<- desaturated blue song]. My Heart is Buried in Venice. okay thats it i promise hdkjh)
#volta transmissions#chemi chats#[hands you 19 songs with excessive commentary and. disappears under mysterious circumstances. :)]#hgjkgh just kidding thank you for asking I CHERISH YOU!!!!#suggestion recommendation#esprit: Choral Compendium
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Get to know me
I was tagged by @baejax-the-great, thank you so much pal!
Share your wallpaper: My phone background for the past six months or so has been the same Patrochilles art that I'm actually not sure if I should post here without permission from the artist lol. But I can confirm that it's the cutest, most loveliest drawing of them, and Achilles looks so baby in it and I love staring at it every time I open up my phone :')
The last song you listened to: Unbound by Asgeir
Currently Reading: Ten Days That Shook The World by John Reed (don't ask why or how, but my autistic Special Interest of choice for the past 2-3 weeks has been the political intrigue surrounding WWI and how it fuelled the October Revolution so I've been reading any book/watching any documentary I can get my hands on about it), and I've also been listening to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath while doing chores and stuff
Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once with @baejax-the-great
Craving: Travel :|
What are you wearing right now: My fluffiest house robe and my fluffy slippers and super comfy and soft socks, and yes I'm still in pyjamas
How tall are you: 167 cm, no idea how that translates in feet and inches lol don't make me google it
Piercings: I have one piercing in each ear, I've often thought about getting more but needles be scary
Tattoos: 6, and planning to finish my half sleeve by the end of the year
Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, and I do sometimes wear contacts as well
Last drink: I am currently drinking some lukewarm coffee with oat milk :3
Last show: In the past couple years I've become so bad with starting shows and actually sticking with them lol, but I did do a rewatch of Neon Genesis Evangelion fairly recently..... OH and I watched Interview with the Vampire with @baejax-the-great a little while back which was super fun!! (because apparently I can't watch something unless I can shit talk or go feral over it with Bae LOL)
Last thing you ate: Toast with peanut butter and an apple
Favourite colour: Oooh that's such a hard question to answer!! The first colour that comes to mind is blue -- I always gravitate towards some version of blue, and currently it's deep navy blue, but I also own a lot of powder blue stuff. It's either that or baby pink or cream tbh, but I also own a good amount of gold/mustard things as well. Yellow makes me happy. I find jewel green incredibly pretty though I weirdly don't own anything of that colour (which reminds me I should perhaps make that a priority)
Current obsession: I'm guessing this is a fandom related question, so I'm going to be predictable and say that I'm, as usual, obsessed with Patrochilles and most of the other pairings I am currently writing, even though anxiety over real life stuff hasn't let me engage with them as much as I want lately. I do think about them a lot and have lots of ideas for new stories, and I'm also working my way back into catching up with fics I love, which I haven't been able to do in a while despite the joy it normally gives me. Brains can be very uncooperative at times, but what can you do about it lol.
Unrelated Obsession: As I mentioned earlier I have been obsessed with Russian and generally European politics of the early 20th century for some weird ass reason lmao, but I've also been reading an in-depth analysis of Aeschylus' life and work I found in some corner of my library, which led me to looking up some academic papers about it, which led me to signing up for an online course about Athenian tragedy, so um?? I don't know what it is with me and going down those endless rabbit holes lately ahah.
Any pets: I have a cat, aka a baby and a bastard and a devil spawn all wrapped in one (he is currently sleeping like an angel after attempting to tear down the curtains)
Do you have a crush on anyone: Um. Like, on a real life person? A fictional person? I do have crushes on several of my mutuals so if y'all are reading it I'm kissing you on the forehead MWAH
Favourite fictional character: I can't choose, don't make me choose!!!!!!! I can't choose between my children. But if I had to choose then maybe.... Patroclus? But also, Achilles? But also, my OC Tristan Trevelyan and Dorian Pavus from DA? But also Shiro and Keith from VLD? But also -- SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE
The last place you traveled: It feels like it's been SO long since I've traveled anywhere. I went to Aegina island last summer but since then I haven't been outside the city for even a DAY and it's been driving me crazy. I just need to see some green and blue and listen to nothing but birds or waves or the wind (at this point I'll even take the rooster that woke me up EVERY DAMN MORNING when I was in Aegina lmao). I'm planning on going on a day trip to Mycenae soon though so I'm very excited about that 😄
Tagging forth to @in-arlathan, @mogwaei, @tessa1972, @aymayzing, @inquisitoracorn, @tevivinter, @elveny, @pikapeppa, @petrowriting @peggy-sue-reads-a-book @juliafied, @vimlos, @gloriesunsung, @figsandphiltatos, @gwensparlour, @glimmerofgold, @sabino-sea, and so many more of my mutuals that I'm actually too shy to tag here. But seriously if you're reading this and it looks fun please do it and tag me, I'm nosy and I want to know everything about you LOL
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hello! i'm a big fan of your fics, and was wondering if you had any particular inspirations for you dexter/harrison fics, specifically 'carnivore incarnate'. it's so fascinating! also, forever hoping you'll write more for this fandom ❣
anon, this is incredibly flattering, and I really hope you're still around to read this response. I'm sorry it took me a while. I wanted to really be...comprehensive in my thoughts and this ended up pretty rambly. In some ways, this is an excuse for me to write about my process for my very rare pair, which is self-indulgent, but I hope it'll be of interest to some people at least.
Stoker and Raw are, in general, two inspirations for me that I keep in mind while writing Dexter/Harrison fic. Stoker, because the way I write Harrison, it's always a coming of age story vis-a-vis serial killing. For carnivore incarnate, I specifically drew on Raw for some of the visuals and violence. Both of those films are coming of age stories with incestous vibes and murder, and that's the vibe I want for my fic.
As far as carnivore incarnate goes, well, there's the quote the title is from, which is the Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, a short story collection; the quote is specifically from The Company of Wolves in it; but I wasn't really drawing on the short story in particular, I just like the quote a lot and I kept hearing it in my head while writing it.
In terms of the vampire mythology, I made it up xD There's absolutely shades of Being Human UK (blood drinking as addiction, daywalking vampires) and The Lost Boys (half-vampirism) and even a bit of The Coldest Girl in Coldtown (not-fully transitioned vampires drinking vampire blood), but I constructed the mythology based on what I needed to make the story work. I needed Dexter to walk in daylight, or else he doesn't work as a Miami blood-spatter analysis, so I decided daylight doesn't have an effect, or it has minimal effect. I needed Dexter to age, so he looks Dad-aged to Harrison, not like Season 1 era Dexter, so I decided blood keeps him young and if he doesn't drink, he'll age at a normal rate. I needed Harrison to be in some half-vampire state where he knows he is not Normal but plausibly think his issues are all psychological, and not that he's a vampire, so I decided he doesn't get his fangs until he makes a kill.
I am writing more for this fandom! The problem is, all my ideas are huge, so it takes forever for me to finish something, and I also get distracted by other projects, because I get easily frustrated if I spend too long on one thing. I sort of can't talk about what I'm currently writing, because it's for an exchange (hopefully) and I need to stay anonymous until I post it, but it should hopefully be done...in a month? I think it needs a month's more of work. I have multiple Dexter/Harrison ideas that I've already started, and I'm writing one Harrison/Brian idea that's about...30k at the moment, but again, slowest writer alive.
I am also really deeply inspired by music; I can write without it, but it always helps. If i'm a low mood, music can help pick me up and put me in a better mood for writing. Certain songs evoke the right feelings or emotions for a scene, or a character, or a specific event, and help me with the imagery or mood. This is the most self-indulgent thing but I make a playlist for most things I write. I don't have a specific carnivore incarnate playlist, but I do have a Dexter/Harrison playlist I made for you gave me my very first gun that I've just been adding to it as I write and turned into a catch-all Dexter/Harrison mix:
you gave me my very first gun
I also have these two other writing mixes that I use for writing Dexter/Harrison, or other Dexter-related or Dexter adjacent content:
monsters are always hungry
no blood for you will ever be enough
I've been listening to that third one a lot while writing. There's a lot of overlap between mixes, and I guess if I had to pick 5 songs that inspire my Dexter/Harrison feelings for writing, I'd go with
patron saint hunter - timber timbre
evil - interpol
alligator blood - nicole dollanganger
glycerine - bush
you want it darker - leonard cohen (thank you, bones and all, for bringing this to my attention)
Thank you for asking! I'm glad you're enjoying the fics. There's such a small audience for this, so I really treasure any level of engagement I get <3
#anonymous#asks#dexter#dexter x harrison#harrison morgan#dexter morgan#born in blood; just like you#my writing#about me#and my writing process i guess
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Hi hi! Can I get a matchup?
for hobbies I like to draw but I’m sorta shy to show people my drawings since it’s like all anime fanart lol but I do have a relatively successful art insta. I also play volleyball at school and I’m a libero! I also like listening to music and I can play the drums and xylophone too! The music I listen too is mostly love songs and 2000s stuff like old Justin Bieber and Britney spears.
I always think of myself as a pretty bubbly and extroverted person! I’m an Entp too. I’m pretty popular at school and most people know who I am (and I’m PRETTY SURE most people like me but idrk 😭). I always order for my shy friends since they don’t want to and I work as a waitress at a little cafe and most people seem to like me since I’m bubbly and talkative. I also enjoy being the center of attention (but I’d never steal any spotlight away from anyone! That’s super rude!) like for my birthday I carried around chocolates (my birthday is on Valentine’s Day so I get a lot of those) and I wore a birthday sash and a princess crown for the whole day.
I also care about how I look a lot and ngl I kinda have an ego about it 😭. I like wearing a lot of pink and I LOVE hello kitty. I like wearing accessories a lot too so I always have cute dangling earrings when I go out and I wear a lot of lipgloss too. If you’ve ever seen mean girls that’s how I dress haha! I love wearing crop tops and short skirts a lot and I have a lot of shoes. So basically I always look really girly haha.
For just general info: I’m 16, 5’4, I’m Asian so I have black eyes and hair, I’m pretty pale (I just don’t really like being outside too much) I’m really skinny but my thighs are sorta thick for some reason(if that matters lol). And I have a few moles on my face like one right above my like (kinda like marylyn Monroe’s lol). My pronouns are She/He/They and I identify as Girlflux! I’m also Bi (irl I like girls much much more but I really like the Tokyo revengers boys haha!)
For a partner I’m bisexual so I’ll take just about anyone! But if it helps my irl partners are usually someone that can tolerate me lol! Like I’m very talkative and I like people that I can have conversations with and never run out of things to talk about. It also helps cause sometimes I’m scared that I might be annoying to people because of how much I talk :P, and I text like all my friends at least once everyday. Also it’s probably a given but someone who is ok with the way I like to dress/look! Cause Ik theres ppl who don’t like dating girls who show too much or are too flashy T-T but I’m a flashy girl at heart and I liked being looked at and complimented so I don’t think I could ever change that haha!
Idk if you’re really into kinning but some characters I relate to are, Bokuto (haikyuu), Aoi (Tbhk), Mitsuba (Tbhk), tamaki suoh (Ohshc), and Oikawa (Haikyuu)
This might be too much info but too much is always better than too little!
Your match is ready !
your match is
izana kurokawa!
• How you met .
°You were doing your job at the cashier like you normally do everyday but this time a certain unfamiliar boy walked in .
° He looked so mighty and full of himself and held eye contact with you so confidently while ordering but that act all went to the drain when you simply said " you have pretty eyes "
° Izana forgot to function for a second before He scoffed and left the cashier area to get his drink without saying anything.
° But from that day on he would come and get his usual drink and usually doesn't talk but there was this one time where you had got a new haircut he said " nice haircut " then you both talked for a few minutes before you had to get back to work .
° Izana has big ego so he is afraid of rejection so he doesn't ask you out directly he just got information from kakucho that you finish your shift at 6 pm so he waited outside and tried so hard to act surprised to see you .
° Then he insisted on walking you home because it was ' late ' and that was his way of getting to talk to you for a few minutes without seeming suspicious.
° iT Became normal that he walk you home every day after your shift while stopping In the middle of the journey to get you ice cream or some candy .
° Izana is harsh and blunt sometimes without any filter so kakucho was shocked to see how gentle Izana was treating you .
° At the end of one day he finally asked you out to go to the beach together because it is going to be 'hot tomorrow 'as he said .
•How is your dating life.
° POWER COUPLE ALERT !
° you both fit with each other so much and you both have the same level of confidence and just makes the relationship 100% better.
° Izana loves your style and how you always wear cute outfit like there is not a single day where you didn't slay with your outfit.
° izana has the " Wear whatever you want I can fight" vibe.
° Wouldn't hesitate to snap someone's neck for staring at you but don't worry you always pull him away before he commits murder.
° izana would 100 % show you off like and would brag about you .
° During your shifts he usually comes and acts like a normal customer while flirting here and there and you play along as well .
° you both normally text each other so be ready for morning texts when you wake up .
° Izana would teach you to fight so he doesn't have to be worried about you all the time but it always ends with you cuddling instead.
° POOL AND BEACH DATES WITH IZANA IS A MUST . ( Be careful he is the type to pull your leg underwater) .
° izana knows you are bubbly and popular at school but he didn't know that you are THAT POPULAR!
° At valentine's day he wanted to be romantic and give you some chocolate because it is your favorite and also because it is your birthday but he was horrified when he saw the amount of chocolate you had been gifted and sulked all day saying people have no respect to people in relationships and he was jealous but you had to explain they got you chocolate because it is your favorite gift .
° You both would get matching dangling earrings.
° Izana just loves you with whole heart and you filled his empty cold heart so he feels grateful and would do anything to keep you around .
° His favorite moments is usually in winter where you both make snow angels and snowmen he loves seeing your childish grin after you put a carrot as a nose for the snow man .
° He would take a picture of you while you make a snowman and have it as his lockscreen and no matter what you tell him he won't change it .
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When and Why Spiders and Human Hands Correlate in Dreams (1)
When and Why Spiders and Human Hands Correlate in Dreams (1)
3 minutes and 30 seconds to read.
Thursday afternoon, 1 June 2023.
Dream-related symbolic and analogical connections between a spider and the human hand exist because, in addition to their corresponding forms and movements, both are involved in creating and inherently manipulating things.
A spider uses its eight legs for defensive poses and to spin a web, a complex and delicate structure that serves as its home and as a trap to catch food. A human hand has five fingers that can perform various tasks, such as building a home, building and using a trap to catch food (including a net for fishing similar to a spider trapping insects with its web), writing, drawing, playing instruments, and for defensive gestures.
One way to illustrate this otherwise self-evident connection is to look at the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song (known by other titles such as "Eensy Weensy Spider"), a popular nursery rhyme and fingerplay for young children. The song tells the story of a spider that climbs up a water spout, gets washed down by the rain, but then climbs up again. The hand play involves moving the fingers to mimic the spider's movements. The song is mainly about resilience and faith (similar to the animal analogies in the Frank Sinatra song "High Hopes".)
A more unusual way to explore this connection is to compare the spider to the "facehugger" alien from the 1979 movie "Alien", a creature that attaches itself to a human's face. The facehugger resembles a spider in its appearance and behavior. It has eight finger-like limbs. The line, "We'll make an incision just below the knuckle there", occurs in one scene. The facehugger prevents the person from speaking or naturally breathing (an association with sleep apnea - but also the natural inability to speak coherently while asleep). It also puts its host in a state of paralysis and "suspended animation", as with REM atonia during REM sleep.
There are numerous examples of such self-evident links, but here is one of my favorites from a vivid childhood dream segment:
7 November 1970. I see a "giant spider" (that had arrived on Earth from outer space) walk on the school grounds to the parking lot. I perceive it as the real-time filming of a science-fiction movie, and I am aware it is a normal-sized human hand with an eye painted on one of its knuckles moving over a miniature set with a downscaled photographic background.
Movies (and their influences) and movie sets are a common correlation with dreaming (in addition to the attribute of less focus on my real-world environment when watching a movie in real life) because I have often deliberately used the dream state to create fictitious "movies" - sometimes even summoning textual credits before and after my dream's narrative (and yes, reading is often possible in the dream state - as I do not listen to liars or the misinformed). There is no reason to pretend to "interpret" (in the popular but mistaken usage of the term) any factor of lucid dreaming - which contradicts the notion of "dream interpretation" anyway - because dream content (sans liminal states that might include transpersonal communication) is fundamentally a result of dreaming, not real-world navigation of real-world consciousness or its dynamics.
The "giant spider" (REM atonia hand analogy, especially as it is actually a disguised hand in my dream) crawls toward my school's parking lot because:
A parking lot is a liminal space in both the dream state and the real world because it represents a temporary state of transition between two destinations. In the dream state, a parking lot most often signifies the shift from sleeping to waking up, as the dreamer prepares to leave the dream and emerge into real-world perception and consciousness. In the real world, a parking lot can signify the pause between different activities or locations, as the driver or passenger waits to get in or out of their car. In both cases, in this kind of scenario, cars and the physical body can be seen as "parked vehicles" that otherwise signify sustained mobility and transportation, but also require maintenance and care.
A dream segment narrative or outcome originating from my natural somatosensory response to REM sleep often establishes an intuitive or proto-cognizant focus on my hands in their otherwise predictable transition from REM atonia (immobility and lack of real-world tactility while sleeping) to viable real-world perception. All such physiological responses, despite casting surreal content in many instances, eventually transition to correspondence with lucidness and recognition of causality (in stark contrast to the ill-informed fallacy of "dream interpretation"). Lucidness delivers the awareness of what is creating my dream (including incidental influences from movies or deliberate proto-cognizant summoning).
AI rewrite "for dummies" of the above paragraph: Sometimes when I sleep, I feel my hands change. It happens when I go from deep sleep to light sleep. It helps me know I am dreaming and what makes my dream. Such dreams are not messages. They are just things that happen in my brain. Knowing this makes me more aware of my dreams and more open to their existence and my experiences with them (instead of the wrong idea of "dream interpretation"). Awareness gives me the power to control my dreams (including things from movies or what I want to see).
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~ideological state apparatus theory~ & la la land
I love this theory so I just want to talk about it! Basically, it's the idea that film is a vehicle for the dissemination of an ideology that reinforces the control of the dominant class. Mainstream cinema would have us believe that it is doing its best to represent real life, and Bazin would say that this is cinema's most important aim. Colin MacCabe, however, thinks that cinema is not equipped to represent reality because reality is something that just...isn't representable. He's fighting against this idea we tend to have of films being real and raw and emotional -- and I would tend to agree with him. i think that there is something that a lot of films are missing when it comes to emotional integrity. there's something about a lot of them that i just don't buy.
at the same time, i also think that films affect us emotionally because we have accepted our position as the subjects of the film. We relate to the characters and their experiences. we fall into the trap of being affected and inspired.
Perhaps one of the most powerful methods of inspiration is music -- or, for our context, the movie musical. And since we're talking about reality here, I'm going to talk about the 2016 film La La Land. I think it's a film that represents reality in a very convincing way, through the emotional appeals of its songs and dances and harkening to a more nostalgic era of art. But I also believe that it is trying to convince us of a capitalist falsehood: that belief and hard work in your dream will one day be enough for you to actually achieve it.
youtube
This scene, like many others in the film, is one long, deep take (an important element of Bazinian realism), in which we are actually experiencing time at the characters do -- pay attention to how the camera moves, and who the camera is focused on. Listen to the lyrics of the song.
Without looking at it too closely, this just looks like the opening number to a feel-good musical (which on some level, it really is, and it's ok to take pleasure in it). But let's look a little deeper. I believe this clip employs some method of subversive realism, in the sense that we're not following the story of any one character for too long: it's what MacCabe refers to as "a systematic refusal of any such dominant discourse", like in Van Sant's Elephant. We're seeing a very mobile camera, and even the cars are blessedly normal (Pontiac Aztek amirite). So in this sense La La Land is shaping up to be a bit of a subversive realist film. The rest of the movie also contains elements of it -- we see people dancing in the air among the stars, we see alternate realities, we see reflexivity in a scene where all but one of the actors are frozen in a tableau.
Personally, however, I think that these elements produce the opposite effect of subversive realism. Within the context of this particular film, they actually draw us deeper into the narrative, and this opening number "hooks the eye, the heart, and the mind. And once it snags you, it keeps getting better" (Variety.com).
This opening scene is so compelling because of its ensemble nature, where there seems to be no dominant discourse. But that's where it gets you! Because while we're introduced to different characters, distracted by the bright colors, we simply accept, and even delight in, the fact that they're all singing the same song: therefore, perpetuating a unified discourse or IDEOLOGY. This is where it gets fascinating. We're in horrible Los Angeles traffic. It's hot. It's boring. Yet everyone breaks into song and dance, glorifying life in traffic under the hot California sun, the endless dance of sacrificing everything to chase a dream that probably won't come true. One could even say it's glorifying the American dream, this idea that if you just work hard enough, if you want something enough, you will succeed.
In this manner, we are swept into a romantic notion of hard work, one that keeps us working and working and running this Pontiac Aztek of a country steered by the bourgeois class. This is the ideological capitalist falsehood of La La Land. The main characters achieve their ultimate goals -- albeit with the sacrifice of the life that could have been -- but we don't ever see those hundreds of dancers again, people that didn't achieve those goals. We don't get to see the reality of sky-high rent and working three jobs to make ends meet while you're waiting for the big break that never comes.
This is not a love letter to the life of the struggling artist, it is a romanticism of that life. Our main character, an aspiring actress, only has to work her one job at the coffee shop to afford her gorgeously decorated 791-square-foot apartment, and eventually shows up to the one-in-a-million audition for a role she's already been cast in. it's the dream of every person dancing on their car in gridlock. It's the reality for almost no one.
But damn if that scene isn't inspiring. And it's made more so by the fact that our main character does make it. The trap of inspiration can be a comfortable one. I know it is for me -- I'm someone who's deeply affected by ideological state apparatuses like film and theater and music, and there isn't any shame in that. Because even though they are perpetuating ideologies I may not subscribe to, i find there is some grain of truth to them.
they are art, after all.
#la la land#film theory#ideological state apparatus#apparatus theory#bazin#colin maccabe#film#film analysis#subversive realism#bourgeois#pontiac aztek#Youtube
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how the evans would act when they have a crush on u ^^
How The Evans Act When They Have A Crush On You & How They React When You Tell Them You Like Them Too
Award for the longest title goes tooooo... me!
JAMES SUCKS BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY DOING BOTH KYLE’S AND A DETAILED KIT
Two other requests-
Could I please request how the Evans would react to their best friend (reader) admitting they're in love with them?
Heyo! I’m not sure how this would go but how would the Evan’s react to a nervous/insecure reader confessing to them?
-I hope this is satisfactory, even though I don’t think it’s what you two wanted<3
Enjoy! :)
--
Tate
-Would always just be interested in you
-Wanting to help you, watch you, talk to you, just constantly be around you
-But he’d also be insecure whether he was annoying you, so occasionally he would make himself invisible and just watch you
-Whatever hobbies you had, he’d love to watch you do them, paint, draw, write, play games
-If you played any instrument he would love to lay on your bed and listen to you, no matter how good or bad you were
-He would leave little sweet messages on the chalkboard and leave little post-it notes for you to find
-They would have fun little facts about birds or other trivial stuff but you would find them cute
-The occasional fact about something romantic, like ‘Every time you kiss somebody, your heart beat increases by 10-15 beats per minute’
-He might go a little far and leave a message like ‘Your dress looked pretty’, which you would find creepy since you didn’t know Tate was a ghost
Kit
-He thought of ways to tell you how he felt but because it seemed like your family was gonna live in the murder house for a while, cause you were all settling in well, he didn’t want to risk losing his friendship with you, since you were the only ghost with whom he really got along
-You walked down to the basement and said his name in a sing song voice, “Tateeeee”, “Come out come out wherever you are!”
-He showed up and you asked him if he wanted to go out on a real date
-He was obviously nervous, because you didn’t know yet that he was a ghost, but when he hesitated and you looked upset, he said yes right away
-You ran up and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, making him blush and laugh, and whilst you were at school, he got some things ready and got candles and a table cover so make your kitchen look like a restaurant
-He ordered McDonalds delivery and got your chicken nuggets under a serving platter for effect
- “We are dining on, nuggets of the chicken”
-Although you were a little disappointed and wanted to go out on a real date with him, you found his effort cute
-He definitely played footsie with you under the table the whole date
-Definitely walked you to your room
- “Well… this is me…”
- “Just wanted to make sure you got home safe”
-Kissed you
oh my god I got so carried away
-You would first meet Kit when you first come and move to Massachusetts
-One day you want to venture out and get an taxi to go to town, only a few minutes later to realise you don’t have your wallet
-You awkwardly tell the driver that if takes you back home quickly, you can get money and you will pay him right away
-But since Boston men aren’t usually so sweet, he just kicks you out, leaving you to wander the motorway alone late at night, far away from your home and hoping to quickly find somewhere to go
-Eventually you stumble upon a gas station, and as you walk up, a hand appearing on your shoulder makes you automatically turn around and push whoever touched you to the ground
-The man in blue uniform gets up slowly with his hands up defensively, “Hey hey, didn’t mean to startle ya, miss”
-You apologise, feeling stupid for this kind of encounter, but he doesn’t seem to mind as much as you’d think
- “It’s always nice to see a woman able to protect herself”, he smiles
-He offers to drive you home, and you thank him dearly, explaining to him that you don’t have a car yet, having only just moved here
-He offers to take you to buy one, knowing an awful lot about cars, and to convince you further, tells you that any man working in a car salon will try to sell a single lady a piece of junk for a high price
-You agree, thinking that the offer is sweet, and he takes you to buy yourself a car, to make the date even more fun, Kit tells you to pretend you’re an old married couple
- “Miss Walka over here needs a car, good Sir”
-At some point while looking at cars, Kit holds your hand and you don’t even notice
-He negotiates a good deal with the salesman, and you get a car together
- “Your husband just got you an awfully good deal, Madam, he’s a man who deserves a good meal and a cold beer if I’ve ever seen one”, the salesman laughs, signing the last of the papers before handing Kit the keys to your car. “Oh, he’ll get more than that”, you say to tease Kit, before smiling at him sweetly. Kit blinks at you, before turning back to the salesman and shaking his hand. As the two of you walk away, Kit looks at you in disbelief, the thought of your dirty words clearly plastered in his mind. “Did ya mean what you said back there?”. He says, as he opens the car door for you. “Whatever do you mean?”, you act stupid. “I was just pretending to be your wife, Mr Walka”
-When he has a crush on you, he gives you sooo many compliments
-Little dirty innuendos
-Would definitely call you and talk to you late night on the phone until one of you fell asleep (house phone if they had them)
-He’s the kind of person to tell you that he got a visit from a cute dog earlier at the gas station and it made him think of you
Kyle
-Every time you go to get gas from Kit, he gives you only a little amount, so you have a reason to keep coming back
-One time when you go get gas from him, you forget your wallet again, and he teases you about it
-He lets you off and pays for your gas
- “I owe you, Mr Walka”
- “How about a date?”
-You smile at how confident he is, and nod excitedly, having been waiting for him to ask you for a while now
-Kit winks at you and waves as you drive off, completely melted inside about finally getting his girl
-Even though he’s always confident, he’s still a little shy and awkward around you when he sees you in class
-If all of his friends are in a class messing around, throwing stuff, being loud, and you walk it, he tells everybody to shut up because there’s a lady present
- “Hey careful, make sure you don’t throw it at her”
-It’s not until he sees you at a huge party, that he’s confident enough to go up to you
-Even though he’s more than happy to flirt, he’s just not confident enough to do that last step and ask you out somewhere
-He’ll bring you a drink and talk and flirt with you, and you’ll definitely get the hint
-He slowly lifts his arm up and stretches it over you, trying to do the classic yawn move, hoping you won’t notice or mind. You look over at him and narrow your eyes in fake suspicion.
- “Didn’t you come here with a movie star? Surely you get handsome men bringing you drinks all the time?”, he says, motioning to the drink in your hand.
“You calling yourself handsome?”, you tease him. Kyle laughs a breathy awkward laugh and nods. “Well yeah”
-When you do ask him for a date, he insists that he take the initiative to plan what you two do
-Clearly wanting to make a good first impression, he’d take you somewhere interesting
-Aquarium, in which he’ll make up clearly fake facts about the fish just to make you laugh
-Bowling, just so he can tease you about how much you suck
-Mini golf, so, even though you know how to play, he can wrap his arms around you and help you put
-And if he does take you to the movies, you aren’t spending a dime
-He’ll also wrap his arm around you not-so subtly
Franken Kyle
“Whatcha doin there, hm?”. Kyle leans into your ear and whispers.
“Just in case you get scared, you can cuddle up to me”
“Kyle we’re watching the Lego movie”
Jimmy
-You’re a witch at the academy, and with Kyle’s very slow progress to getting better, both Zoe and Madison are getting slightly tired of having to constantly take care of him
-But you don’t mind, finding his Frankenstein state cute
-Whenever he stumbles into the kitchen by himself you always help him make food
-If he’s ever struggling with anything, he usually comes to you, knowing you’re the most patient out of them all
-Then, one night, all the teens in the academy go to a party, while you lay in bed
-But when the rain starts to get really heavy and the first thunder growls, Kyle rushes into your room, before slowly knowing and peaking his head out, clearly scared
-You let him come and lay with you, rubbing his back to calm him down
-Although no real words are spoken, it’s from that moment that you decide to take on all responsibilities relating to Kyle, the good and the bad
-He’s admired you from afar for a very long time, ever since the first time you joined the circus
-You were incredibly flexible, and always showing off to everyone and practicing on stage
-He would always come and watch you practice, cheering you on more than anybody else
-You called Jimmy ‘my cheerleader’
-It made him blush every time
-Amazon Eve always told him to just ask you for dinner, but the only thing that stopped him was the thought that you wouldn’t want to go out and be seen with a freak like him, especially since your body looked so normal that you didn’t have to hide anything
-Eve and Paul reminded Jimmy that it’s him who’s always the most confident in going out into the real world, and he mustn’t be scared
-When they all plan to go to a diner together, as a protest to being shunned from society, you find his leadership charming and happily go with them
-Even though you all get kicked out, you calm Jimmy down and take care of him when his dad beats him up
James
-You wipe the scars on his face and tell him how brave you think he is
- Trying to gain confidence, you take a deep breath before making the move. “Maybe the two of us should go to that diner”. Jimmy looks up at you, as if he expects you to keep talking. When the nerves hit you all at once, you begin rambling. “You know cause if the two of us go and they’re okay with that then maybe we can start going with the others one by one, and then you know we’ll ease our way back into society and stuff”. You laugh a breathy laugh, but Jimmy says nothing. With every silent second passing, your heart begins to break. But luckily for you, Jimmy speaks up. “Wait, are you asking me out? Like… on a date? To the diner?”. “What if I were?”, you quietly reply. He smiles wide and pulls you closer to him, “I’d love that”.
-James is definitely the least subtle
-Constantly giving you compliments, kisses and gifts
-Opening every door for you and listening very carefully to everything you say
-He doesn’t want you to even think about another man, so he overwhelms you with every way he can show you he likes you
-I can imagine him organising a big ball or event at the hotel just so the two of you can dress up and go together
-He is also the most confident out of them all, although he is a softie around you, he has no trouble asking you anything he wants to you
-He’ll kiss your hand a lot and you’ll eventually get the hint
Kai
- “I would be most delighted if we were to make our relationship more official, and vow fully loyalty to one another”
-You agree and he is over the moon
-Once the two of you are in a relationship, the compliments, kisses and gifts don’t stop
-He will give you your space without him, but when the two of you are in the same room together, he treats your precious time together as if it’s sacred
-He will approximately 43 seconds into your relationship begin planning how he’s gonna kill you
-You can tell Kai likes you when he’s harsher on you than he is on other members of the cult
-He’ll be pissed at you for being a distraction for him
-He’ll definitely tell you when he’s impressed with you, when you murdered somebody or helped him plan something
-Even though he definitely would not want it
-If you proved to be smarter than him in any aspect, he’d be furious
-You’d be sat on his sofa while he’s talking to you about having to kill Sally because she’s getting in the way of him winning city council
- “Samuels looked at where she lives, and it has no back doors, no nothing, it’ll be impossible to get in her house without smashing windows and causing attention”
“Why don’t you get Ally to go to her first? If Meadow convinces her to go to Sally to talk about the cult, then the front door will be open”. Kai looks at you with angry eyebrows. “We’ll sit in the car and wait for a few seconds, she’ll let Ally in, won’t lock the door straight after her, and then let them talk for a minute before we just walk right in”
-His ego won’t let him take suggestions from somebody below him, so even though he wants to be proud of you for being smart, he’s mad
-He’ll sit for hooours trying to think of any other solution he physically can think of, to not go with what you suggested
-Around the cult, he’d treat you like everybody else though
- “Y/N’s idea was brilliant, Ally just walked in and they walked straight to sit down, she didn’t lock the door”
-He’d praise you to encourage you to think of ideas, which he would later be mad that you have
━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━
-You’d find out how he felt about you during pinky power
-After being suspicious that he may have feelings for you for a while, you realised this is the only way to truly find out how he feels without him trying to manipulate you
-He’d ask you about something deep, and you’d latch on after he finishes a sentence to ask him your question
- “I have a question for you”
“Go ahead”
“How do you feel about me?”
Kai stays silent and continues to look you in the eye, taken aback by the question but not wanting to show it.
“When you’re with me, how do you feel?”
“I think you have real potential, you’re strong-”
“I’m not asking the Divine Ruler, I’m asking Kai, Kai Anderson”
He takes a deep breath before unintentionally breaking eye contact for a few seconds to think. You wait anxiously for the answer, and with every second passing you know what it will be.
“You’re special”, he starts, looking you in the eye again. “You’re valuable to the group, and to me. And I think you’d be a great… mother”. The last catches you off guard, not expecting Kai to be a family man or to think about this with you.
“You… you want me to… have your children?”
“I think our children would be indestructible, strong, powerful, decisive. They would be the seed of the better future”. Although it was a little forward for somebody you’ve never even kissed, you were beyond flattered, knowing how specific Kai is with traits in people.
“Let’s make a baby”, Kai says.
“Whoa whoa”, you laugh and unlink your pinky with his. “We’re not even dating, Kai”
“Why date if children is the ultimate purpose?”
“Then don’t look at is as dating… look at it… as getting to know the mother of your future children”
-Kai would love this and you’d soon end up dating
-And have like 6 kids
@milly-louise @amourtentiaa @kitwalker02 @tatestripedsweater @therenlover @maria-akira @tatesimper @thxc0untessesgl0ve @mossybank @ahsxual @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan @kitwalkerangel @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt @blackbat2020@elaineygrace @kaiandersonskoolaid @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash
As usual, if you wanted to be added or taken away, dm me or comment!! I won’t mind! <3
#american horror story#ahs#tate langdon x#tate langdon#tate langdon x reader#tate langdon imagine#kit walker#kit walker x#kit walker x reader#kit walker imagine#kyle spencer#kyle spencer x#kyle spencer x reader#kyle spencer imagine#frankenkyle#jimmy darling#jimmy darling x#jimmy darling x reader#jimmy darling imagine#james march#james patrick march#mr march#james march x#james march x reader#james march imagine#kai anderson#kai anderson x#kai anderson x reader#kai anderson imagine#ahs imagine
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humph; han seojun (pt 2)
click here for humph masterlist!
part 1, part 3
story: frenemies to enemies to lovers, high school au
synopsis: seojun and you have known each other since kindergarten. you’re neighbors and even attended the same singing and piano classes. despite knowing each other for such a long time, you don’t enjoy spending time with seojun. even though you are aware of his unfairness, you keep spending time with him. when will you finally leave your childhood frenemy?
note: juyeong is reader’s brother and is not related to the lims, jugyeong doesn’t exist in this story. humph! is a story inspired by pentagon's "humph! / 접근금지". originally, this is a seungyeon fanfiction, which i posted on my wattpad. words: 4k
after the encounter, you try your best to avoid han seojun. everytime you spot him walking in the hallways, your feet start moving faster. every so often you won’t allow yourself to put all of your books into your locker and end up carrying the heavy things during the whole day. why does his locker have to be next to yours anyway?
seojun might be academically not the best, but he sure isn’t dumb.
clearly, he notices how you turn around and walk into a complete different classroom whenever he makes an appearance in the same hallway. he also notices how you always walk around with piles of books, never taking the chance to place them into your locker, since his own happens to be next to yours.
one day he spots lee suho helping you with carrying your books. smiling, you thank your friend and hand him over some of them. while heading towards the classroom together, you talk about the upcoming school trip. unfortunately, you’re not quite able to see what’s in front of you since the pile of books cover your sight slightly. yet, as seojun walks past suho, his shoulder hits suho’s which makes the books fall out of his hands with a loud thud.
quickly, you help suho collect the books on the floor and don’t fail to notice him muttering,
“what’s his problem?”
_
it’s an entertaining thursday evening as you spend time in the karaoke bar with your classmates. kang soojin, who happens to be suho’s childhood friend, asked you and suho to tag along with them. first, lee suho declined the kind offer but you luckily managed to convince him.
the noraebang is filled with laughter when taehoon, sua’s boyfriend, sings his lungs out to his favorite song. after your eyes wander from the couple too soojin and then too suho, a smile forms on your face. taehoon’s arm is around suho’s shoulder as they both sing a ballad. you’re happy that suho opens up to others more and you enjoy being able to spend time with these four, feeling like you’re making new friends.
however, it feels a little strange that seojun and chorong aren’t around. you remember how you would go to the karaoke bar every saturday, sometimes it was only seojun and you. secretly, you adored listening to his voice.
suddenly, the notification sound of your phone wakes you up from your short trance.
juyeong: why is seojun hyung’s bike in front of our house?
it’s a message from your younger brother. why hasn’t seojun picked up his bike yet?
while the others continue singing, you excuse yourself and walk outside in order to call your younger brother. patiently, you walk back and forth, waiting for him to answer the call. you sigh when he doesn’t pick up and are about to dial his number again.
before you can do so, you jump and let out a yelp at a familiar voice,
“y/n?”
it’s han seojun.
frightened you turn around, palm pressed to your heart.
“you scared me!” closing your eyes, you let out a relieved breath.
“you’re here too?” seojun ignores your shocked reaction.
“yes.”
“with whom?”
taken aback, you stay silent for a short moment, not knowing how to respond. clearly, you’re aware that seojun, for some reason, isn’t on good terms with suho. therefore, you wouldn’t want him to start a conflict with the innocent boy right here, at the karaoke bar.
“uh, i’m here with soojin a-”
abruptly you trail off when you spot lee suho himself at the entrance, searching for you while his glance shifts through the place. luckily, seojun’s back is facing the entrance. the boy in front of you waits for you to continue but is caught off guard when you pull him around the corner, before suho can find you.
“what are you doing?” seojun questions with lines forming between his brows.
nervously, you try to come up with an excuse while avoiding his gaze, checking behind his back if suho saw you,
“your motorcycle-”
“look who we have over here! seojunnie!”
at the sound of lee sungyong and his gang you stop talking and observe an annoyed expression appear on seojun’s face.
when you turn around to face them, they let out surprised laughs,
“y/n, long time no see!”
“why do you have to here.” seojun groan.
soon, you sense that something bad could happen any moment which makes you dart your glance around the area nervously, looking for a possible way out. timidly, you draw your mouth into a straight line before your fingers firmly grip around seojun’s, pulling him away from the others without thinking twice. the young boy seems shocked by your actions as his legs adjust to your pace.
in no time, you find yourself running away from lee sungyong and his gang, your hand still clutched on seojun’s wrist. adrenaline courses through your veins as you pass several stores, pushing people out of your way. to the sound of lee sungyong shouting your names, you keep your breath steady, push harder and run even faster.
seojun himself forces his legs to push harder, his lungs straining. his breath thickening, he steals a quick glance at you. the wind whips your hair away from your face as you face forwards with an uneasy look. his mind is frantic with thoughts: how is it possible to move this fast?
yet, at this great speed, you can barely see a few feet ahead of you. your feet nearly slip from beneath you when your shoes pound heavily across the ground and mud splashes up your leg.
noticing this, seojun rapidly takes your hand into his own without slowing down and takes the lead. since the boy is familiar with this dark area, he sprints around the next corner. the shoutings behind you don’t stop, demanding you to stop running. after sprinting for solid minutes, you finally hide behind a wall when seojun finds a way to trick the gangsters.
heart pounding faster than ever, you’re still concerned that they will find you. seojun squats down next to you, his legs tired from all the running. when your surroundings are safe, you swiftly stand up while your breath comes in short gasps.
claiming you’re tired would be an understatement. you are exhausted. still you feel relieved that you could escape the group of boys.
moments later seojun sighs with annoyance behind you.
“why did you have to drag me away?” the boy complains before you turn around to face him with a frown on your face.
it’s dark and quiet outside, indicating that it’s probably really late. the air is cold which makes you shiver for a moment. when you wait for him to continue instead of answering, seojun groans, not believing that you seriously don’t understand what he’s trying to point out.
“they’ll think it’s weird of us to run away like cowards. ah, you’re really dumb.”
“i’m dumb?”, you raise your voice with squinted eyes before he can leave,
“you’re the one who believes fish are wet.”
“fish are wet.” the boy slowly turns around to face you again.
“they’re not because they’re surrounded by water. once they get out of-”
“it’s water, y/n!”
it’s not worth arguing with someone as dumb as him.
with a mirthless smile you shake your head,
“you’re the dumb one.”
after that you leave to make your way home, completely forgetting to ask seojun about his motorcycle. the boy himself watches you walk away with a little worry. shouldn’t he walk you home at this time? ah, never mind.
and so he walks home by himself, not used to the fact that his motorcycle is away from him.
_
the next day in school seems like a regular one. fortunately, you were able to get enough sleep this time. thankfully, seojun’s motorcycle was no longer parked in front of your house this morning. not expecting anything spectacular to happen, you enter the classroom with several books in your arms, like always. however, as soon as some of your classmates notice you, they walk to your seat with widen eyes.
“y/n! where were you last night?”, soojin asks you with a calm tone.
sua hits your shoulder playfully and whines, “do you know how worried we were?!”
oh, no. you completely forgot to contact them after your small adventure with han seojun.
“poor suho looked everywhere for you.”, taehoon pouts, his glance darting to suho, who was sitting on his seat peacefully.
after hearing taehoon’s words, you turn your head to the innocent boy with regret written on your face,
“i’m so sorry.”
“don’t worry, y/n. we’re glad you’re okay.” suho smiles at you as the others agree.
the day passes normally, like you predicted, until lunch break.
considering kim chorong is nowhere to be seen, and you’re trying to stay away from han seojun, you sit next to you other friends during lunch. the same people from the karaoke bar talk about their plans after school, when suddenly everyone looks up to the sight of han seojun’s. his loud steps and irritated expression catches all the attention in the canteen.
however, you feel concerned when you’re approached by him, your heart beating a little faster.
“yah, y/l/n y/n.”
you gulp when he carefully talks in a controlled voice, glaring at you through his cat like eyes,
“come out.”
the whole lunch room gasps with surprise at his statement, anticipating on what will happen next. just when he grabs your arm to drag you out of the room, lee suho steps between you both, slapping seojun’s grip away from your arm,
“what do you think you’re doing?”, he speaks with a low voice.
“you better stay out of this.”
han seojun hisses and holds on your uniform this time, pulling you away from the others.
your head is filled with endless questions when you’re forced to follow him out. what have you done wrong? the corridor is empty and silent as the boy in front of you pounds his hand on the wall behind you, leaving only a small gap between your faces. your back is pressed against the cold wall.
blown away by the sudden closeness you swallow dryly, unable to wet your parched throat. his sudden change in mood slightly intimates you.
“you think you can piss me off easily?”
you’re taken aback when he snaps.
“wh-what are you talking about?” nervously, you stammer while excessively blinking.
after that, seojun laughs with edge, eyes leaving yours for a moment to remain his calm. why are you pretending to not know? seconds later he bends down to your height, now even closer than before. eyes looking deeply into yours, he tries to read you. yet, the only thing he’s able to see is your confusion.
“do you believe giving my keys to that bastard is funny?”
“i have no clue what you’re talking about.”
luckily, the worry in you melts down a little but you’re still confused.
“you’re really starting to get on my nerves now. this morning lee sungyong came to me with these, and my damaged bike.”
frustrated, seojun takes his keys out of his jacket-pocket and holds them up for you too see. a line forms between your brows when you stare at the keys, waiting for him to continue,
“and what do i have to do with that?”
“are you kidding me?! you’re the person who had my keys the whole time!” seojun hisses, his voice raising which causes you to flinch lightly,
“my bike was parked in front of your house, remember? you gave my keys to that bastard!”
“i didn’t have your keys!” finally you defend yourself, slowly getting annoyed by his behavior.
“you did, i gave them to you last week!”
seojun’s face is still insanely close to yours.
“you did, but i gave them back to you.” you look into his eyes with confusion.
“what?” seojun’s expression reflects your own.
“i-i put them into your pocket. didn’t you notice?”
oh no. he absolutely didn’t.
“when did you do that?”
“the day after you gave them to me. i thought you would notice.” you mumble the last part quietly, suddenly feeling like it’s your fault.
precisely, you remember how you put seojun’s keys back in his jacket, which was hanging on his seat when he wasn’t around. taking the opportunity, you decided to quickly put them in there without having to face seojun for it, since you weren’t on good terms.
all this time you wondered why the boy wouldn’t pick up his bike. it was standing there whole time, which made you believe that maybe he truly wanted to quit riding his motorcycle.
however, it turns out that he never noticed. how did the others find his keys, though? was it your fault? perhaps you should have simply handed them to him personally instead of being stubborn.
seojun sighs with frustration and runs his hand through his hair,
“how did they get them then?”
suddenly it all clicks. everything makes sense when you remember every detail from last night. with unease your eyes widen,
“the jacket you wore last night... it was the navy one, right?”
he thinks for a moment before nodding, waiting for you to continue.
“i put the keys in that one. maybe it slipped out while we were running?”
you glance around, not focusing on anything as you try to avoid his eyes. this doesn’t feel good at all.
a momentary look of discomfort crosses seojun’s face. he realizes that you’re possibly right and that he shouldn’t have accused you to do something like that. the fact that he already messed up by telling suho to stay away from you makes everything even worse. he feels guilty when he catches you looking around nervously. it’s not your fault.
right when he’s about to form words, two students run past him which causes him to stumble over his feet in shock. on the spur of the moment, his body is pressed on yours. at the sudden contact, you let out a small gasp when you notice that you’re stuck between him and the wall. one of his palms is still pressed against the wall behind you, while the other one holds on your shoulder to steady himself.
both of you look up at the same time, embarrassed by his sudden actions. when your eyes meet, your heart pounds against your ribs as if trying to reach thousand beats. it’s so intense that you internally pray for him not to hear it. his face is only a few centimetres away from yours which makes you freeze on spot. somehow you feel his breath on your cheek and you think you’re about to lose it.
why are you so nervous suddenly?
why does his gaze make your heart beat so fast?
carefully, you study seojun’s face. his dark hair partly falls over his forehead, his eyes now relaxed, cheeks tinted a bright shade of pink.
in fact, seojun is blushing profusely. just like you, he’s taken aback by the closeness and can’t help but gaze into your eyes deeply. he too, feels strangely nervous, a little too nervous if truth be told.
after what seems like seconds, you can’t stand it anymore and forcefully hit his forehead with your head, which makes him stumble backwards.
probing the pained area, seojun winces, “what the hell?!”
“i-i told you i didn’t give them your keys!”, you decide to come up with that instead of showing how the boy effected you so easily,
“you always put the blame on me.” after mumbling that you rush back to the canteen in super speed, hoping for your poor heart to calm down.
seojun only watches you sprint away, unaware of how he made you feel. rubbing his forehead painfully, he shakes his head in order to get rid of his thoughts.
there’s no way. i should probably just see a doctor.
_
time passes quickly and finally the important day has come: the school trip. everyone from your grade was talking about the upcoming event the whole time, planing several games and activities. for you it seems nice too but since you’re avoiding seojun, which also automatically makes it harder to see chorong, you worry how you’re going to spend the whole time on your own. it’s a bummer that lee suho refused to join the trip. certainly, you attempted to convince your friend but unsuccessful.
as soon as you arrive at the school gates, where everyone is already waiting with their suitcases, you feel uneasy. nearing the others, you concern about the fact that you’ll probably have to sit alone in the bus. yet, when you finally approach the others you spot suho standing next to soojin, sua and taehoon. instantly, a smile appears on your face and you greet them, adding that you’re happy for suho to join them. glancing around, it doesn’t take you long to see han seojun next to kim chorong. without looking at them for too long, you focus back on your other friend group with little uncertainty.
one by one, students enter the bus after putting their suitcases into the bus trunk. for some reason you happen to be the last person to enter the bus. after putting your luggage into the trunk, you’re ready to go inside. yet, out of nowhere chorong appears in front of you with puppy eyes, begging for you to pack his snacks into your backpack, since his own is already full. not thinking about it too much, you agree and start placing them into your bag. chorong smiles with satisfaction and thanks you before his eyes check behind him. he winks at sua and gives her a sign after making sure you’re not paying attention to him.
sua then pushes her boyfriend and soojin inside when nobody is left, leaving chorong and you alone. eventually you manage to push in all the snacks into your bag. you’re surprised when you see that everyone is already in the bus and follow chorong inside as well.
as soon as you enter, suho finds your eyes and waves at you, indicating that he saved you a seat next to him. happily, you nod and wait for the others in front of you to take their seats.
you fail to notice chorong’s eyes widen when he stops in front of you, not allowing you to sit next to lee suho. sua understands the situation and slightly pushes kang soojin towards the empty seat next to suho.
oh, well.
both of your friends exchange surprised looks. however, seconds later soojin smiles at the boy next to him, starting a conversation.
as a matter of fact, you feel upset. disappointed, you move on, eyes not leaving chorong’s back. who are you going to sit next to now?
when the boy in front eventually arrives at the very back, you’re concerned. surprisingly, kim chorong takes the seat behind han seojun, leaving the last seat, which was next to seojun, for you.
han seojun doesn’t bother looking up, as he’s focused on his phone. clearing your throat, you request,
“chorong-ah, change seats with me.”
“nah, i like this seat.” stubbornly, he crosses his arms across his chest, head leaning against the window with closed eyes.
the short conversation catches seojun’s attention and he looks up with curiosity. after taking a look at the filled seats his eyes land and you. he’s surprised when he notices that you have to take seat next to him.
letting out a quiet sigh, you give chorong one last glare before sitting next to seojun. this is either going to be really awkward or provoking.
of course, once again you don’t notice chorong peeking at the both of you before giving sua and taehoon a thumbs up, content that their plan worked successfully.
“are you sure this is a good idea?” taehoon whispers to his girlfriend,
“they look like they’ll throw hands at each other any moment.”
“ ah, don’t worry. they’ll make up sooner than you think.” sua takes a quick glimpse of you plugging in your earpods without exchanging any words with the boy next to you.
but sua was wrong.
half an hour already passes and you still haven’t spoken any word. although, there‘s a small desire of talking to you in seojun, he can‘t make himself form the right words.
right when chorong is about to lose hope and fall asleep, something finally happens.
feeling tired from all the packing last night, you sense your eyelids getting heavier and you’re struggling to keep them open. nonetheless, you’re no longer able to do so and you fall asleep instantly.
out of the blue seojun feels your head resting on his shoulder. the boy is dumbstruck when his eyes widen, holding in his breath for a moment. his body shuts down and he doesn’t know how to react when his posture stiffens. besides that, he feels the skin on his shoulder tingle.
seojun almost curses under his breath when his heart races once again. this time, there’s a fluttering in his stomach as well, causing him to go speechless. from the corner of his eye, he observes your expression. a slight frown forms on your face, hair covering parts of it, lips in a small pout.
no matter what you do, you look so effortlessly... good. it doesn’t make a difference to him if you’re annoyed, confused, happy or simply tired. he always notices himself looking at you the same way, with adoring eyes. attempting to ignore it, he chose to tease you, not daring to ever show you.
he knew he went to far and feels stupid for his actions. yet, why doesn’t he just apologize? perhaps he doesn’t want to accept the fact that you mean much more to him. perhaps he’s afraid he’ll never mean more to you.
still asleep, you unknowingly move your head closer to seojun’s chest, feeling more comfortable this way. after that, he feels your arm wrap around his torso, almost snuggling him.
the boy’s heart melts at the sight of you. although his heart feels like exploding, he doesn’t want to admit that he kinda enjoys the skin-ship with his you. right when he’s about to run his hand through your hair, the sound of a camera catches his attention.
he looks up to find sua taking a polaroid picture, chorong awing at the sight of his two friends sharing a moment.
“aw, you guys are so cute!” sua jumps up and down, while handing seojun the polaroid picture.
suddenly seojun gets aware of his surroundings and the situation he finds himself in. he blinks a few times before moving his shoulder purposely while coughing, making your head fall down in a swift move.
before it hits his lap, you open your eyes and rub them with a displeased expression,
“what happened?”, you ask with a low voice, completely clueless.
“why- why do you fall asleep on my shoulder? that’s so uncomfortable. get a pillow or something!”
seojun stammers in the beginning, eyes not able to meet your tired ones. your friends sigh with annoyance and return to their seats, disappointed by seojun’s change in mood.
“sorry.” after rubbing your eyes, you steal a short glance at seojun. you’re slightly embarrassed and fix your hair while sitting up properly.
the boy only shrugs, quickly hiding the polaroid in the pocket inside of his jacket before you can see it.
seemingly, this trip is not going to be easy for han seojun.
little does he know, this was only the beginning of cupid chorong’s plan.
_
to be continued...
#i stayed up till 3 am for this#part 3 coming soon#to be continued#humph#han seojun#han seojun imagines#han seojun imagine#han seojun fluff#han seojun x reader#seojun#seojun x reader#hwang inyeop#true beauty#seojun imagine#han seojun fanfiction
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until dawn; pt. II - ljn
part I | part II
⤑ summary: basic number one rule of the museum is not to touch the art. but no one told jeno that falling for one of them isn’t allowed either.
⤑ pairing: jeno x female reader
⤑ word count: 12.2k
⤑ genre: ANGST, fluff, romance, smut (f receiving, dom!jeno waow, dirty talk, wrap it everyone) | broke architecture major!jeno, historical figure!reader, enemies to lovers!au, college!au, night at the museum-inspired!au
⤑ warnings: references to actual historical figures, explicit language, graphic details, major heartbreak caused by another party, expect time jumps too
⤑ author’s note: happy jeno day!! i’ve been so excited to post this part, and i’m happy we’re here!! perhaps, this is the last long fic i’ll write for a while so i can rest, but i’ll still be posting short stories within the weeks to come! i’m excited for may to say the least hehe
btw, for the smut scene (indicated with **), i highly recommend you listen to strange (feat. hillary smith) by kris bowers!! this song is from the bridgerton soundtrack, and oh man, the feels!!
with that, enjoy!
italicized text either means they are personal notes or flashbacks.
this was meant to be more angsty, but either way, i screamed every time i wrote something gut-wrenching.
⤑ taglist: @renjunniehome
⤑ ctto above!!
⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!
“You ready to get your butt beaten by me, Lee?”
“Prepare your final words when I win instead, (Y/L/N).”
Mischievous banter exchanged between you two became a new norm. Almost every night, someone within the art pieces established a contest over anything and it released the competitive sides of you two. So far, Jeno has been winning. Not like it hurt your pride, but maybe just once, you could conquer one game to feel better. Not only that, there’s a mini penalty for the loser. So far, you’ve cleaned up the lobby yourself and acted cutely to everyone the entire evening (or aegyo as Jeno called it).
Tonight, a game of archery was held by the Greek gods. They pushed away any extra pieces away, leaving the whole room vacant with two boards right beside Zeus’ throne. Numerous arrows were produced and sharpened, Zeus in the center announced to everyone participating.
“It’ll be 1 on 1 games. First to go are Jeno vs (Y/N), followed by Athena vs. Hermes, Cleopatra vs. Freddie, and last would be Hades vs Aphrodite.”
Cutting the chase, you didn’t expect Jeno to be that good at archery. Sure, he told you that he took classes with his friends for fun when he was younger, though it showed that he’s a fast learner and even hit one bullseye in the middle of the game.
Not slightly threatened until the last rounds, you fixed your aim and lessened your overthinking when preparing to shoot. Thus, you scored 2 bullseyes shot. It was a close fight, having the audience on the edge on their feet again because it’s the two of you. Your dynamic with the night guard always elevated the mood, shifting their bets over and over again.
By 1 point, you received your first victory against Jeno. Unlike you, he showcased his sportsmanship sweetly without any comments of disbelief. He’s never bragged about anything big in his life, not unless it’s a high grade for his plate. Normally, he celebrated wins in a laid-back manner. But don’t be fooled: he loves giving penalties.
“This is why I don’t make bets with my friends because I really go for their weak spots.”
“You’re cynical, Lee Jeno.”
“Only if you’re close to me, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”
“Aren’t we already past that stage?”
Almost halfway through his job, he sustained a meaningful friendship with you. Out of everyone, you were his default person to hang out within the nights he had a shift. If he wasn’t present, he made sure to give you small treats or gifts as much as possible. An innocent friendship, it was that the world would’ve never believed in.
Or was it?
“To celebrate your win, what do you want me to do?”
“You’re too kind for me to play around with, even if you’re the complete opposite of me.”
“I’ll make it simple and worthwhile since I don’t know when I’ll win a game again.” As your finger tapped your temple as you pondered deeply, a smart idea came through. “Grant me 3 wishes.”
He chuckled, lowering himself to view you better. “Am I like some genie now to you?”
“No room to complain, I won, didn’t I?” You grinned, raising one brow to show your dominance.
“You’re petty in your own way, aren’t you?”
“Perhaps. Now come on, I want to use my first wish.” You shrugged it off like no big deal, loving the high feeling of triumph. You lead him to the center of the lobby, where a beautiful grand piano only selected people get to play during exhibits. “Open the museum piano.”
Ever since you were brought to life, you never used it. Tempting but because people from the outside might here, maybe it’s time to try something new. A new challenge, and besides, you missed entertaining people through it. The last time you touched the delicate piano keys was to your family before you ran away.
It’s a good thing that in the shackle of keys Jeno held, the needed key was there. Unlocking the lustrous black instrument, you sat by the matching black bench. Crackling your fingers, you tested by pressing a few keys to get the hang of it again.
“What are you planning to play, (Y/N)?” Jeno leaned against the side, his arms crossed.
Humming the first notes of your piece, the nostalgia ran through your veins. “Nocturne No. 2 in E flat by Chopin.”
Your fingers took off and played each chord slowly and calmly. This piece reminded you the most of your mother, who sat by the couch in front of your old piano with your father while guests from the party they hosted crowded around you. Being the youngest, they often requested you to perform as entertainment so you always put your best foot forward. Or so you tried.
Nevertheless, no one else in your family was capable to play this piece as perfectly as you. By the way your eyes closed and your body swayed to the mellow tune, Jeno observed how you memorized this piece by heart. A passionate flame you were, outshining every pianist out there.
He wasn’t surprised at how multi-talented you were, though there’s a different kind of aura you present when you played the instrument. From your hard and tough front, you could be soft and sweet to the right people.
In a way, you showed your comfort toward the boy by serenading him with the piano. Sketching him with him in the past was one thing, but this was another. You’d sketch with people you’ve grown used to, but you play piano to people you want to cherish in your life. As dangerous as it seems, Jeno was someone special to you, only wanting to have good moments with him.
Junmyeon will always have a huge part in your museum life, but Jeno filled the emptiness that he left behind. This loneliness for a human friend vanquished thanks to Jeno, and you didn’t want to jeopardize it at all. Sure, whenever he acted like a gentleman around you, let you inside the Foreign Art Room, or brought you food sometimes, you couldn’t help feel honored.
Though lately, every time he showed off his strength when he defeated Zeus and Hades during an arm wrestle game the god held again. You seriously had to catch a breath at every flex his arms made, like the goddesses. Maybe how he pushed his black hair back when he’s drawing another plate, you’d give yourself a few extra seconds to see his long fingers skim through them. He’d bit his lower lip when he’s in too deep with his creativity, wondering if he’d bite the lower lip of the girl he’d ki-
All right, (Y/N), relax. Maybe you’re thinking this way because it’s been decades since your last relationship. You wouldn’t want to fall for another possible trap and hurt yourself again, right?
Ever since this job, Jeno’s university life drastically changed. Yes, he still hung out with his friends and performed extremely well in his classes, though he prioritized anything related to the museum wherever he was. If they were drinking out, he’d buy an extra bottle of soju for you on his way back to the dorm. Rarely does he get shitfaced anyways.
If he and Renjun visited the bookstore to purchase pens or any art-related materials, he always bought either an extra sketchpad or set of pens. Even if you were simply a figure to everyone else, he appreciated the bond you both developed.
Every night, he’d tell you about his day from the start. Normally, it consisted of a lot of schoolwork and coffee, some stories about his roommates too. Speaking of them, he’d insert a lot of humorous words about his entire group of friends, whom you learned their names too.
Mark, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, and Donghyuck, each of them presented a different color in their group. Jeno, who’d admitted to being shy and quiet, grew out of his shell because of them. A friend of Jeno’s would automatically be a friend of yours, if only you were allowed to leave the museum or become a human.
Jeno learned more about your past explorations that never got documented because you no longer had an interest in jotting them down. They were adventures you’d kept to yourself, memories only close to you then would know. Except now, Jeno was another addition. You’re not the type to instantly open to people, though again, a sense of relief surrounded him every time you encounter each other. It grew gradually like a warm hug, softening your heart and breaking your walls.
The more he spent time with you, nothing feared Jeno the slightest. He’s always maintained himself intact, avoiding lines to be crossed and giving respect to those who deserve it. However, he began to question himself where exactly his feelings lie with you after Jaemin tried to set him up on a blind double date just so the best friend of his date wouldn’t feel left out.
He’s rarely one to get crushes on people, even when other girls in his college openly showed their affection towards him. Valentine’s Day or his birthday, several girls sent him chocolate or flowers. Jaemin and Renjun got sick of girls reaching out to them first so they could reach him. It’s not because he’s not the dating type, but because he’s so goal-oriented that unlike his roommates, he doesn’t have a slight clue about dating.
Though one-night stands while at a party and dating were completely different, he’d still say he had experience with girls. Plus having an older sister, he never took advantage of them. He’d rather tell them in person that the feelings weren’t mutual than ghosting them. He’s not like Jaemin anyways.
With that, he’s so lost when his heart beats twice as fast the second you’ve woken up from your posing slumber. He doesn’t comprehend how flustered he’d be when you highly insist to help him with his plate or how cute he finds it when you’re playing fetch with Mochi. On top of it, when you chose to sketch each other for one of your sketching sessions, he’d take a longer stare at your visage before he drew some strokes.
A lot of historical accounts mentioned how your beauty was the standard of the Victorian era, wherein you were the jewel of your neighborhood and numerous men wanted your hand. Women envied you, especially having high intelligence skills that were equivalent to a man. That time, that felt like a threat to most men. Though surprisingly, it turns out there were men who liked intelligent girls.
Jeno knew he liked you as a friend, though liking you past that he didn’t intend. Nor was it allowed because it’ll break one of the golden rules. Before he’d go beyond contemplating, he had to stop himself. This was so unlike him. The feelings will fleet away, he’d repeat to himself. Don’t waste a great friendship because of your silly emotions.
Individually, both of you swallowed these harboring feelings down your guts and simply kept your friendship status safe. Doing your typical activities or whatever else you could think of, none of you minded to change it whatsoever.
Unknown to you though, it was obvious to the other art pieces ones that you two practically passed off as young lovers. Although they know that pushing one towards the other went against the rules, Aphrodite begged to differ.
“Holding them back from expressing what they really feel just because of the law here is a tragedy. They should at least try, you know?”
On another typical night, Jeno invited you to the Theater Room for a movie marathon. After finding out that you’ve never seen any moving pictures, he wanted to be there to introduce it. Luck was on his side to not have plates or requirements due for the week and everyone was behaving themselves, so he started with rolling out short films from the 88mm projector. Having premade popcorn and drinks, the two of you shared roars of laughter and emotional tears.
Switching to the cd player for longer and clearer films, you’d opt to believe that you were born at the wrong time. With all these advancements, it came with a lot of new beliefs. One of them was allowing women to study and work. Then again, she was a pioneer according to historians. Without her, it wouldn’t help shape society as it is today.
Nonetheless, this movie Jeno played on the big screen was what he defined as “one of the classics”, 10 Things I Hate About You.
This outspoken character named Kat was presenting a poem to her class, trying to hold in her raw emotions towards Patrick, the boy who broke her heart. Too engaged, you didn’t notice how Jeno stretched his arms out so he could wrap one around your shoulder. Not that you were complaining, his warmth reassuring you safety.
“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.” The way she attempted to keep her strong ground only reminded you of where you were weeks ago, especially once she excruciatingly broke down.
“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” Only when you leaned back to the chair, you felt his arm. His thumb caressing your covered shoulder, you peeked him a little bit. His eyes fixated on the screen, absorbed in the acting and how Kat’s tears weren’t scripted as she stormed out of the classroom.
Not that you were her, but it sparked the past memory of how you merely disliked him because of his job. But as a person, not even close, not even once did you hate him. How blessed that he never judged you for it, staying patient all this time.
Right before he could look back at you, you moved your face back to resume your watching. Jeno definitely noticed what you did, though not sure as to why. Whatever it was, it wasn’t harmful.
Once the film ended, Jeno checked his watch for the time. 4 am, he wanted to do something else now instead of film viewing. You were on par with it, wanting to walk it out after being seated for hours. As you both cleaned up and bid the posters outside goodbye, the doors to the museum were locked unexpectedly. Impossible on Jeno’s half because he had the keys for every room, but he double-checked his bunch.
Alas, the keys for these doors specifically were missing. But there was no other way anyone could’ve gotten it, plus it’s not like the last person he talked to, which was Aphrodite, would need it.
Or did she?
Rather than putting any blame on each other, your only wish now was to return to your section before sunrise. You and he could just relax momentarily before yelling for help.
“Maybe we should watch another film first?”
“Alright, you choose while I return the rest.”
As Jeno inserted the cd of Cinema Paradiso inside, the background music of the opening played. He hummed the first notes, already feeling the love from this film. Another must-see classic as recommended by Renjun, he wanted to rewatch it with you.
Slowly returning each cd and film roll to their respective drawers, the melodious theme had you waltzing in the small space. Even beyond your life, classical music never gets old. Aging like fine wine, sounding spectacular as time passes because of people’s creativity.
Jeno gazed over your sudden movements, smiling uncontrollably at how immersed you were as you multi-tasked. However, you took a wrong turn by the desk and almost dropped a priceless film roll. But before you fully slipped and fell, a pair of strong arms caught you at the right time. Panting from the nerves, mostly when he was inches from your face. Never has he pressed his body this close to you to protect you, and never have you seen his captivating eyes this up close.
As enchanting as the background music of Ennio Morricone was, it only became noise once Jeno took ahold of the film roll on your hand and placing down on the desk. Taking another step closer, you were backed up by the edge. Not to mention how his height dignified his impact on you, your arms were still situated by your side with nowhere else to go.
That was until his finger elevated your chin so he could meet you on eye-to-eye level. His other hand gripping your waist, you became brave enough to place your hands by his broad shoulders. Licking your lips, you glanced at his lips quickly. But he noticed it, and as risky as this was, it was a leap of faith to take.
“May I kiss you?”
Always such a gentleman, even when he already knew how much you desired him through your returning affections. Calming your breath patterns by the speed of everything occurring, you came back to your senses. He’s the one who constantly told you not to forget your roots, so you were going to take this one.
You trust him, and he does too.
“Yes.”
Since the first film, some kind of tension increased the closer he moved or intimate his actions were towards you. You kept pushing it back in hopes not to ruin what you both have. But it only turned out to be mutual, especially how none of you held back as soon as his lips passionately clashed yours.
Tangling your arms around his neck, you stood on your tiptoes to press even closer to him. Feeling his lively heart pumping against your hollow chest, you bit his lower lip. Something you’ve secretly craved to do, he growled from the pleasure. He hoisted your waist to the desk, his impatient hands earnestly traveling all over your body. While your legs locked around his torso, your feisty nature leaned back so your entire body lied on the small desk.
Jeno was on top, placing one hand down to hold himself while the other squeezed your waist firmly. Even if you’re made of wax, you’re like an actual living woman at night. Everything about you becomes real until dawn. You emitted vulgar moans, giving him more access to your neck. Peppering a mix of soft to hard kisses, your hand teasingly snaked under his shirt. He really wasn’t joking when he bragged that he was quite ripped since he enjoyed sports and going to the gym, cupping a part of his toned abdomen.
“If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” He sluggishly sucked the area between your ear and neck, one of your weakest spots. “What’s on your mind, baby?”
The growing moistness in between your legs left a stain in your panties, trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. It’s been decades since you’ve been stimulated like this. However, Jeno beat you to it as he trailed the hand that was on your waist and lowering it right above your covered sex. He cupped it agonizingly slow, making you folding your leg from the pleasure. For a man who doesn’t date around, he knew exactly what he’s doing.
“I just kissed you, and you’re already this soaked. Can you handle me, baby?”
As the strong woman that you present yourself to be, it would selfishly take the right touch from the right man to weaken you. With his savage lips back on yours while your hands clutched on his shirt, he was simply waiting for a verbal answer, yet driving you completely mad. Everything was happening so fast, and here he was to please you in anywhere you seem fit.
You were deprived, and oh, you needed it more than ever.
However, seconds before you replied, there was loud rumbling from the main doors which stopped your devilish antics. As Jeno moved back from you to see the ruckus, you lifted yourself back up, pulling back your dress sleeves and flattening out the creases. The last thing you wanted was a trail of familiar red marks from the aggressive male, finding any reflective surfaces to check.
“I wouldn’t be that dumb to leave you hickies now, would I?” Jeno ended your worries as he placed his hands by your side again. His face leaned towards yours again, reliving the warmth in your cheeks. His lips were plumper, catching traces of your coral lipstick smudged there down to his jaw. He slotted himself again between your legs, grazing a hand on your waist and the other to your warm cheek. “The door’s unlocked now, and it’s 5 am. Do you want to clean up now?”
You playfully scoffed, aware that neither of you had plans to do that yet. Such a player while in the heat of the moment.
“Spare me 15 more minutes with you first.”
Hiding the romance you’ve both built failed without trying. Aphrodite spotted all the signs from your open physical affection and words of admiration, calling you two out in front of everyone without shame. She is the goddess of love, after all. You couldn’t fool her even if you tried.
Plus, she’s the one who locked the two of you up in the Theater Room that night. But neither of you know that.
“Sketch my ideal home?” Jeno bent down to the table, testing out his newly bought pens so they wouldn’t spill.
“Isn’t that why you decided to pursue Architecture in the first place? Come on now!” You pestered across him, opening your new sketchpad since your last one ran out of pages. As expected, Jeno bought you one when he went to the bookstore. As much as you insisted not to because he should use the money somewhere else, he did it anyway. He loved your works, encouraging you in any way he could.
When he was reminded of his humble beginnings of his passion for architecture by you, never had he envisioned exactly how his perfect home would be like. Settling down was so far beyond his mind, only focusing to graduate university then study for the licensure exams. However, he did miss drawing something for fun, not as a requirement. He also was the one who took charge of designing his dorm.
“Fine, only if you draw what your ideal home would’ve been if you never left London.”
Now as lovers, the only addition to your relationship were the public and private exchanges of affection. Deep conversations, film viewing, back and forth banter, you’re both still the same competitive duo everyone expected to be together. In public, the two of you held hands, hugged, kissed each other cheeks too when it felt right. Cleopatra’s face of fake nausea was priceless every time, while Princess Diana, Anne, and Katherine enjoyed it. It’s been years since they’ve seen this glow of adoration in you. Bit by bit, you’re going back to the old you. Except now, you’re a lot stronger.
Perhaps, this version of you proved wrong for the need for romance. Even if you made the choice not to settle down then, it would’ve been different if Jeno was in your universe then.
“Are you done there?” Jeno asked while you were finishing up your masterpiece. Life in London sounded fun when you were younger, having all these ideas on interior design and the like. An innocent time.
Instead of replying, you strode to his side and compared your pieces together. He pictured a two-story home, with a backyard and rooftop area. He definitely wanted to stay in the city as his whole life was based there. Although you preferred living in the countryside more for more freedom, you gave it a shot by pinpointing every detail of a wealthy typical Victorian-era home you liked. You desired a spacious lobby with a grand staircase in the middle, a crystal chandelier there too. The living room would have a small library and a grand piano, where wide doors leading to the grasslands were beside it.
Considering you two lived from different times, in a way your ideal homes were similar. Somewhere private, surrounded by nature and minimal furniture, you’re curious as to how it would look if the two of you fused them together. A mix of old and new, will it look pretty?
“What will look pretty?” Jeno questioned your random thought, looking back and forth at your sketches. “You know who’s pretty though?”
“If you say what I think you’re going to say, I’m lea-”
“You.”
Jeno has gotten flirtier since that night, always finding the right opportunity to flatter you. Although you denied them out of embarrassment, the butterflies in your stomach can’t lie to you.
You’re so smitten, and so was he.
Jeno’s always one to follow the rules, but so far, he’s been breaking some of them already.
Just last night, he gave Renjun access to the lively museum because he needed more research regarding you. Initially, he practically interviewed Jeno for every piece of information he gathered because he used to be so deep in the books to study everything about you. Now in the past, Renjun still couldn’t forget how Jeno drunkenly admitted how crazy he was going to be over you and your coldness whilst sobering up in the dorm.
He didn’t understand one bit by that, especially when you’re technically dead. But by the sight of the first piece Renjun saw alive, which was Zeus, he almost passed out. Piece by piece, he viewed these artworks come to life from his fresh eyes. Right before he could’ve screamed when Athena shot a lightbulb in their exhibit, you happily called out Jeno’s name.
Renjun froze on the spot upon seeing your wax figure come to life. He’s browsed through this museum numerously due to the new exhibits, but lately, he checked your section out to find any tiny details that were linked to your life. Aside from the sketchpad, compass, and hairpins, he wanted to know if there was more to your life as an explorer.
As human interactions except the night guard weren’t allowed, Renjun needed help for his project in Women Studies. Just like Jeno’s assignment, you aided him. Fruitfully answering every question he gave you, Athena popped out of nowhere to inspect Jeno.
“I see you’re breaking another rule.”
“I’m sorry, Athena. He was desperate, and it would be selfish of me to let him fail.”
“This is the last one I’ll let slide, alright?” Athena huffed, not impressed by the reckless behavior Jeno acquired over time. She saw this coming, but for a change, she couldn’t punish him. He was a young adult, still learning more about life. Only will she step in if things turn for the worst. “I can’t believe I’ve gained a soft spot for you.”
Jeno laughed, hugging the figure like his older sister. “You love me though!”
Glad to say, Renjun aced his project and kept his word of not telling anyone about the happenings in Jeno’s job. Jeno even made a makeshift non-disclosure contract so Renjun wouldn’t spill the slightest details.
Lately, so much has been happening in the museum that having alone time with each other was rare. And when you did, the two of you made sure to maximize it and make every intimate moment count. From each touch, each longing kiss, each moan, and groan, never were you left hanging whether you’re at the Theater Room, Jeno’s office, or the Foreign Art Room.
The only time the two of you went beyond the boundaries was at the indoor garden. Jeno managed to get the key to it, lighting up some candles before you invited you inside. Thanks to the magic of the Greek gods, the cameras were bewitched to display fake imageries when security checks in the morning after.
Upon your deep conversations, you’ve mentioned once or twice about the indoor garden. It was the latest addition of the museum, opening in the early 2000s. Because it was a sacred place, no art piece was ever allowed inside.
Yet again, Jeno challenged the rules again when he invited you inside. A few minutes before, he set up some lights along the hallway of the garden, where he placed a blanket, a picnic basket, and his laptop right at the end of it. The best place to view everything, he just knew you’d love it.
He was undoubtedly right once you gasped at such a pretty sight. Seeing the silhouettes of various flowers and plants together with the night sky with all the stars sparkling, it was like you’re attending another ball with your sisters, who were looking for suitors then.
Once Jeno leisurely led you until the end, he brought out all the delicacies from the basket. One of them was this Italian savory dish of dough with toppings such as cheese and pepperoni, or pizza as they named it. The next ones were fresh strawberries and melted chocolate, followed by grape juice.
“I’d drink actual alcohol with you again, only if I didn’t get shitfaced and do my job properly.”
“Point taken. Besides, this is close enough. So pour me a drink please.”
Perhaps this was the closest to a date Jeno could ever ask you out to. With the restrictions and being constrained with time, he brainstormed all sorts of ways to bring the outside world to you. From simply letting you wander around this fascinating room, he unleashed the inner romantic in him. None of his friends would’ve thought since they never asked him about it, so he kept it to himself only. Finally, he’s satisfied with what he prepared. After eating, the two of you would watch more films before the sun rose again.
You’re just the right person for him at the moment he can act that way.
After your quiet stroll and sitting back down, Jeno surprisingly handed you a tiny box.
“A gift?”
“Open it.” He sipped on his juice, paying attention to your actions. Gently untying the box, the amazement in your eyes couldn’t fathom such a lovely present. No words were required to verify that Jeno outdid himself again, just your facial expression alone is enough.
When Jeno said that he pays attention to the tiny details, he doesn’t bluff. Throughout your growing relationship, you’ve cited how you wanted another special flower in your life. Just because you couldn’t view lavender roses the same way ever again, it didn’t mean you wanted to kick them out of your life. Flowers were one of nature’s beautiful creations, so you’re wishing to find the love you once had for lavender roses in other ones.
Thus, you came across what you thought held the highest form of meaning: red roses. Despite its thorns, it’s still a marvelous flower. Innocently, you told him that just because of the memory of your father giving them to your mother on her birthday yearly.
Red roses represented true love and romance, a discreet message only those eager would know.
Jeno was one of them, which was why he reserved this gift for this very moment. It was a necklace he found through a college fair recently, a subtle red rose pendant in the center. Since he couldn’t give you huge gifts, he settled for something light. Something none of the guards or the director wouldn’t pinpoint out when they do their inspections.
“Do you like it?”
Not one utter from your mouth since you’re so hypnotized, your lips quirked up in a charming smile. “Is that even a question? This is astonishing, Jeno.”
After you attempted to put it around your neck, Jeno sighed and stepped in to help you out. “Turn around, (Y/N). Let me.”
The tension gradually heightened once you held your hair up so Jeno accessibly viewed your clean neck. Clasping the lock, it took all his might to hold himself back from you. Even from behind, your silhouette was attractive to him. The lights he set up weren’t helping the slightest of what he’s thinking to do with you.
“Done.” He breathily whispered in your ear.
**
If he thought he was the only one feeling something powerful, he’d be more than wrong. The lingering sensation of his slim fingers gracing your décolletage area unhinged another kind of want, the one you’ve only imagined in your mind when you were needy and alone. It shouldn’t be a sin unless you’re with the person you’ve fallen for, right?
Facing him again, the eye contact didn’t last long when you were the first one to strike a move. Jeno kissed back right away, his hands pulling you closer by your waist. Whatever sultry music Jeno played, it gave you the perfect momentum to grind on his lap. He groaned against kisses, adding his tongue. His thumbs sensually rubbed your hipbones, one of your hands toying around with his hair while the other one balled up his shirt by the chest. None of you cared if anyone caught you.
The last time you’ve been this aggressive was at the Theater Room, which eventually increased the hidden lust you’ve had towards each other. Taking things slowly at first, it’s about time to delve in for more. The mood was already set from the start, even if Jeno didn’t plan this to happen here. But being the prepared man he is, he did have a condom in his back pocket.
Your fingers trailed from his neck until his crotch. He was hard, sensing how suffocated he must be. But he kept himself in control. Locking eye contact, you sweetly spoke.
“Grant my second wish, Jeno.” That same hand of yours held one of his, planting it in your breast. “Make love to me.”
Giving the go-signal, he crashed his lips on yours while stripping you off your dress. Carefully, he turned you around to untie your tight corset. Once it fell, your neck leaned sideways as his lips attacked it madly. Your breaths were tremulous, placing both his hands on your freed breasts to knead with. His touch felt like fire on your skin, yet you couldn’t stop.
“Jeno,” Obscene moans from your lips choked out. You desired more, shifting back to face him again to attack his lips. Slowly feeling one of his hands laying you down, you spread your legs with ease just for him. He parted after your head landed on the cushion to unbutton himself. The way your mouth dropped to selfishly stare at his bare body, flexing them before getting back into position. He was fit and toned just as Cleopatra predicted.
As much as Jeno knew how wild your thoughts were getting, he was more taken aback by your perky chest.
“Fuck, you are divine.” He sucked one nipple as his fingers ventured to slip your panties down. So much was going on, you didn’t know which stimulated you more. You tried to close your legs around his hand, but he slapped your inner thigh to stop you.
The cool breeze shivered you, especially from your core. Jeno’s fingers adventurously grazed from your hip area to your lower lips. He teasingly rubbed it up and down in your essence, his index finger settling it right at your needy clit. Another moan escaped your lips, an opportunity for Jeno to slide his tongue in your mouth. Enjoying the moment, his fingers dipped inside you. A gasp broke your kiss, making him giggle in your ear.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
“Oh, angel. The things I want to do with you.”
Sliding them back and forth, curling it even, you squirmed for more. Dropping himself to meet your core, Jeno placed your legs on his shoulder. Pushing you closer, his steamy breath felt like friction. Your hips grinded against it, so he gripped on them so you stay put.
“Angel,” He chuckled darkly, his crotch tightening at how powerless you looked. “You’re so pretty.”
You were drenched from arousal. But to Jeno, you were glowing under the lights. He wanted to take his time to admire what he had done to you. His independent girl, only weak for him.
His fingers unfolded in your lower lips, diving in to your orbit. You could hardly speak from his skilled mouth, especially his tongue savagely lapping your clit in numerous paces. You’ve only daydreamed about what it could do aside from kissing, and it exceeded your expectations. By the heated sensation that had the heels of your feet digging his back deeply, you affirmed to have seen more stars than the night sky above you.
Your back arched uncontrollably while his hands grasped your hips to stay in place, the tears in your eyes formulating while tugging on his hair. Your thighs clenched around his face, but his broad shoulders widened it to taste more of you. No use of pulling away when his grip on you was tight, so you could only cry out from the pleasure.
“Fuck!”
The ringing sounds in your off were going off, your throat drying up from moaning once another orgasm was about to hit. Once the knot in you snapped, nothing could hold back your screams of pleasure whilst panting for air. Sensitive as he licked every remaining essence he caused, he smirked as he got up to unbuckle his jeans.
Oh, boy. He got quite a package behind his boxers.
Even while you were overly sensitive, you had to grasp it in your hands. He was yours, and you were his.
The way you clenched around his protected length, pausing to readjust yourself to the feeling. The foreplay deemed helpful, though the girth of him overwhelmed you. He stretched you out so good.
“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” The stunned face you made was expected, still feeling worried that it may be too much.
Biting your lip, you moaned once everything felt bearable. “You can move, Jeno.”
None of you could track exactly how many rounds you went through. Even in the semi-public area, it didn’t hinder either of you. There’s that thrill, and surprisingly enough, you both shared the liking of it. Always switching the positions, you decided to call it quits after another sloppy round in missionary. Something seeing Jeno on top, fully submitting yourself to him, made you feel calm to be vulnerable. It’s really the trust you’ve established from the start, making you rely on humans again once you’ve let the past be.
Jeno brought out another blanket, initially meant for cuddling. It was still applicable though, curling your body into a spoon towards his racing chest. Music was no longer noise, the intimacy creeping back instead of lust this time. The afterglow of Jeno, sweaty and knackered as his legs sprawled under the sheet, was a sight for sore eyes. He’s always been handsome while on duty, but post-sex gave him an extra boost.
Plus there’s pride from the red marks courtesy of you on his chest, grazing over it softly.
Jeno chuckled softly at your smooth fingers, lifting them up to kiss them tenderly before kissing your lips again. Only humans were capable of and to love, but you’re some kind of an exception. Regardless of the magic from the plate, you’d be able to love too if it weren’t for your background.
There’s so much love Jeno wanted to offer you, even if he hasn’t said it out loud yet.
Perhaps one reason was because time was beginning to tick. Finals were a few weeks away, then the one-month long semestral break until a new semester kicks off. Time really flew by, and his bank account and heart expanded too. Enjoying the now was all he could think of doing, but those uncertainties bothered him.
The biggest would be where you and he would stand when his job ended.
Jeno was too absorbed in his internal debate, as portrayed by his eyes staring off in space and running his hand in his hair repeatedly. Something was disturbing him, and you’re concerned as to what it was.
“Jeno,” Around his arm, you tapped his chest to get him out of it. “What’s going on in your head?”
Jeno approached every obstacle he faces straightforwardly, not wanting to let him hold back. Rarely did he keep secrets, especially from you. Instead of hiding away, he voiced it out.
“(Y/N), will we work out?”
“What do you mean, Jeno?”
You’re so occupied in the present that thinking of the future was never in your field. Like him, you’re just enjoying being in the moment. Though after tonight, it’s making you wonder if there’s a future.
“Well,” He placed his hand on top of yours, affectionately observing you. “Times flies faster when you’re having fun, and well, the semester is ending.”
His last words crushed a part of your heart, remembering his initial plan. None of you expected your friendship to bloom into what it is now, but life was just full of surprises without a schedule. At the same time, none of you wouldn’t have it any other way.
It may have been a few months since you two committed to each other, but the spark was still strong. It wasn’t like a summer romance kind of feeling. Time was not a determinant of love either, which you were certain of it with Jeno. A lot more than Junmyeon.
It should’ve frightened you when you realized your love for Jeno, but it didn’t. Even if you didn’t age physically, your mindset did. You’ve learned to forgive your younger self, and through Jeno, you let your guard down completely. From that, you let love in. Platonic to your fellow art pieces, and all of the above to Jeno.
Throughout your relationship, you regained all confidence in yourself and everything you set your mind to.
“I wouldn’t want to worry too much about it if I were you.” Your body flipped to lie on your stomach, resting your head on your palm.
“Why shouldn’t I, angel?”
Gazing back at him, you left a velvety kiss on his lips to rest his thoughts. His hand wrapped your neck, deepening it. But you pulled away with a giggle, all too knowing of his secret intentions as his cock began to harden again. His eyes narrowed down and his lower lip stuck out at your attempt of being a tease.
But enough about sex, you wanted to address a point.
Lee Jeno was going to be the biggest risk you wanted to take and fight for, and no one should try to stop you.
“I’ll ask Circe for a potion. For me, for you, for us.”
If it weren’t for insistent questioning towards every art piece, who kept their mouths shut, only Circe herself banished him from his suffering. Her series of potions varied, and the one you requested years ago which you threw out was capable of turning any art piece into a living human. No potion of Circe ever failed, so you entrusted your life for the day you do drink it.
“Are you sure, angel?”
Jeno knew about that one specifically, and as great to hear that you never threw it out, he never put pressure on you. He wanted you to do whatever felt right, even if deep down, he wished you’d use it. He was only worried about how the flow of the entire museum would be disrupted.
Typical Jeno always looking out for you, but you saw right through his concern. Here you were, caressing his check as reassurance. With an honest smile,
“I’ve never been more certain with anything in my life here until you came, Lee Jeno.”
Jeno opened up more to his life outside the museum, telling all sorts of experiences not just his days as a university student. From his childhood, his family, his travels, heck you even want to meet his friends at this point!
Newly, he shared with you how the sunrise and sunset looked like in Seoul with much vivacity. It’s a luxury as a human to witness as day breaks and ends, so you could imagine by yourself how it would look like. Sure, you had drawings and all, but that was from the real (Y/N) (Y/L/N).
This version of you wanted to live more; that’s your greed now.
“You’ve never touched snow too, right?” Jeno, who had his arm wrapped around you, silently watched the first batch of snow from inside.
“Yup, that’s the thing when you’re imprisoned in this place.” You sulked by his side, earning a chuckle from him who pulled you in closer.
“Don’t tell me now that you despise this place.”
“I don’t, but it hinders me to experience new things. The whole pattern of being awake at night by a plate gets tiring, Jeno.”
All Jeno would do when you’re frustrated was placing your head on his shoulder, listening as you talk.
“I know, angel. But it won’t be long until you leave this place with me, right?”
“You know it!” You interlocked your hands with him, eyes trained at every falling snowflake.
Sometimes, moments in silence with Jeno were all you needed for the night. Being within each other’s presence, focusing or admiring something from afar, it was all the peace you’ve needed from the bustling art pieces.
This week was the last of the semester, and Jeno’s off duty for tonight to focus on his exams. You’ll see him tomorrow night, which was his last shift ever, and also yours too.
Perhaps the biggest milestone you’re committing to without any regrets.
However, it took an unnecessary conversation you accidentally eavesdropped on to rock your decision.
You needed more ink after running out mid-way of sketching the sculptures as a secret parting gift. Before you could take a single step inside your exhibit room, a series of voices were full-on arguing. Booming back and forth, you peeped your ear out whilst hiding against the door.
“Athena, how dare you did to her?! She’s done so well from moving on from it, falling in love even! And now you’re telling me this?!” The distinct voice of Princess Diana, who spoke sweetly most of the time, boomed towards the Greek god. “You’re heartless.”
“I did what I had to do for the sake of this place, Diana!” Athena raised her voice, the lightning in her hands holding back from lashing out. She hated it when anyone argued with her, especially when she does things according to what she believed was necessary. Out of everyone, she had more leadership. “She had to know that her place is here as a wax figure, not outside. Talking Junmyeon out of it was for the best, plus it’s ideal when he drank the potion of memory loss from Circe.”
“But it tore her apart when he left her, and it’s going to tear her again if you do the same with Jeno.”
“How else are you going to approach the situation then, Diana? Those two have broken the highest golden rule, so they need to wake up.”
Right when she celebrated within herself for healing, hearing the unbearable revelation behind the past devastated you. This whole time, she internally blamed herself for being ageless and lashed out at others. The scary past barged back in, and you couldn’t handle it anymore.
Somewhere in the corner, you wept without a trace. You could care less about Athena’s opinions, but you found yourself agreeing to some of her words. You had a role to fulfill, and leaving that behind would be selfish and it could make the museum go topsy-turvy. As painful for Junmyeon to leave you, it was because the truth hurts. Nothing could change it, even if Circe could be your solution because it’ll leave a lot of questions. You didn’t want Jeno to be seen as a suspect.
Oh, Jeno.
There’s nothing wrong with falling in love either, you didn’t intend it to happen. But it becomes unfair when it compromises with your purpose, and that’s not how you are. You’ll always remember Jeno as your biggest risk, though it’s time to end things. Treacherous as it was to accept for you, risk-takers have boundaries too.
Fast forward, on the night of Jeno’s last shift, you’ve cherished every second with him. Playing around, chatting with other art pieces, kissing in private, you made it count. Before dawn broke, that’s where you chose to come clean by the garden, your sacred place. Not even your self-reassurance could prepare you to witness the hurt and confusion Jeno felt.
“You’re a mortal, and you still get to choose your path. Mine is already predetermined here as a wax copy of a historical figure.” You advised as you held both his hands, your voice shaking at the reality.
A few days ago, you were beaming with exhilaration at a new journey but now you’ve permanently backed out. Jeno couldn’t comprehend, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t. A life without you by his side would be empty and dull. “Even so, there are things about you that the original person didn’t have.”
Arguing with him wasn’t your favorite, and it’ll leave the two of you in a bad mood. But there is no way to negotiate this; you’ve already made up your mind. “We must end this, Jeno. You need someone who can grow old with you, and I can’t be that person for you.”
“But we can make it work!” His hands gripped on your slumped shoulders, whilst your face avoiding his to spare yourself from the heartache. “There’s still Circe.”
“I know, but recently, I found out that she’s an indirect cause of my misery.” Pulling away from his touch, you belted with frustration. “I cannot do this anymore, Jeno.”
You’ve always fought for whatever you wanted in life, and Jeno knew he was one of them if it weren’t for you telling him that. So he did the same, thinking of ways to make you feel whole. Now, he couldn’t tolerate the sudden crumbling of his heart from your outburst, and all he wanted to know was why you felt this way. How could he help you?
You don’t keep secrets from Jeno, but the truth behind your harsh actions cannot be revealed for the sake of the museum. Plus, you didn’t want him to despise this place he admired. Causing him pain wasn’t on your list, but keeping him safe was. It may be shown differently and he may not understand it now, but over time, he will.
“Jeno, you’ll find someone better out there. Someone with their whole life ahead of them, who’ll love you for everything that makes you who you are.” Repetitive punches in your guts urged you to barf at your half-lie, but you held it in.
“Why are you pushing me away? What happened to taking risks, (Y/N)?” Jeno interrogated, taking your hands in his hands again. They unconventionally quivered, like his lips. Jeno has never cried in front of anyone, not even when he was younger. Though for you, he just might. “Am I not worth it for you?”
Dear heavens, he was wrong. You internally screamed that, but you can’t let your selfishness seize the night. As Athena said, you had to wake up from your dream. “Committing to you was my biggest risk of them all, Jeno. Everything else that went along with it, I don’t regret it one bit. But time’s really up for us, and we must resume our normal duties.”
“I can’t lose you, (Y/N).”
“You never will, Jeno.”
He crouched lower to meet your height, his finger moving your head so you’d look at him back. Weakly enough, you did. “I want you to be a part of my normal life, angel.”
“I’ll always be here, you know. I’ll be standing in my usual spot upstairs, and you can drop by whenever you can.” You pressed your lips, lifting your head to avoid incoming tears. Meanwhile, he began shedding a few. You’ve hurt him big time, and you’ll never forgive yourself for this. “I still have one wish, right?”
Jeno’s sorrow was beyond his capacity, leaning his forehead against yours to kiss it. No matter what he could say or do, he already knew it won’t be effective. You’re affirmative in your choices, yet he still wanted to challenge it. All he wanted to know was why you’re doing this.
“Let me walk you one last time to your section.”
The black night sky had remnants of blue, motioning that dawn was approaching. Other figures gave their goodbyes to Jeno earlier, cleaning up their areas before they pose. Though none of them anticipated such a cold atmosphere between you two, they could only spy on what was bound to happen.
“My last wish is for you to let me go, Jeno.” You avowed, blinking your eyes with faux positivity. Your hands patted his blazer so it wouldn’t crease. “I already have a role to fulfill here, and you’re on the way to yours, future architect.”
“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Only tonight did he muster his courage to finally admit it to you after giving himself more time to analyze it. Timing was always crucial, and the badness of it showed.
Deep in your heart, you resonated the feeling. But it’ll make things more complicated, and it was the final thing you’ve wanted to occur. Someone had to be the strong one, and now, it should be you. With one more compassionate kiss on his lips, you stepped inside your section and readied your position.
“Goodbye, Lee Jeno.”
The sunshine brightened the room, and you’ve frozen to slumber again.
All Jeno could do was drop on his knees, sobbing over your rash actions. Unknown to him, a single tear left your eye as you posed.
Regardless of what status you were in, the pain of it all remained.
Jeno spent most of his semestral break with his friends to travel or whatnot, trying to forget it all. Even if he aced all his finals, his efforts felt like nothing if he never had you by his side to celebrate.
The sting over his short-lived romance with you never diminished the slightest, no one whom he could express his pain about it to especially when Renjun drank the memory wipe potion that Athena initially left for Jeno by his desk.
Forget it all, and live a peaceful life. You have so much potential, my mentee.
- Athena
Perhaps this was the same thing Junmyeon drank all those years ago, but unlike him, he didn’t have the guts to. He still wanted another chance.
So every day since the new semester began, he spent every afternoon break at your section. He’ll be seated by the bench, doing his assignments and talking about his day while sometimes stealing a glance of your figure. Some habits don’t change.
He never got sick of the same smile you exemplified, falling even more for you. He’ll often wonder what you’ve been up to.
What are your new sketches?
Are you taking care of Mochi well?
Have you apologized to Sanghoon yet?
Speaking of him, he surprisingly scooted over to Jeno’s side. This was the first time Jeno met the man, and politely enough greeted him. Sanghoon interviewed the boy, asking all sorts of questions that Jeno had every answer to. The biggest change that Sanghoon noticed since he left was your personality. You no longer bite, but treat everyone kindly without bias. You’re always active to help him out in cleaning the lobby, and you don’t go easily defensive.
Once he found out that Jeno was the reason for that, he was overjoyed at the start and wanted to meet him some way. You were a tough cookie, but now you relaxed. That was all that mattered to him, hoping to know more about him from you. That was until Diana stepped in and told him everything that happened. Mostly, the bad.
Playfulness eventually bore love. The last time you fell in love was in the 80s and Junmyeon pushed you away, he recalled. This time, you’re pushing Jeno away because you simply agreed with Athena’s points.
This wasn’t right, but it wasn’t his place to interfere.
But then again, he finally caught Jeno for the first time today and this time, he was open to hearing his side of the story. Lessen his misery too.
“No matter how stubborn she is, she loves you.” He advised him, bringing out one of your full sketchbooks. As Jeno opened it, the majority of the portraits were him. Sleeping, smiling, laughing, you drew him from every minor detail you could spot like the mole near his eye and his crescent eyes.
A handsome face I would never get sick until the end of time. Someone I want to wake up to every day in the morning if it weren’t for that plate.
- (Y/N)
Towards the end, a sketch of a house unfolded. The interior was a fusion of modernity and old royal design due to its white walls, wide space, and the placing of less furniture, plus an open backyard. There’s another tiny comment on the side from you.
I was right. Joining our varying designs together is pretty. Maybe Jeno and I could live in a house like this one day.
- (Y/N)
If you loved him so much, why did you let him go then when you had all these plans with him? Even if he tried to understand, he just didn’t.
“Don’t give up just yet when she told you to.”
“Are you just saying this or something?”
“Well, Princess Diana passed this message on but after everything, I believe that she’s right.” Sanghoon gave his opinion, but Jeno was reluctant to accept it.
“I never got a proper explanation why she suddenly changed her mind, Sanghoon.” He ranted, raking his hand through his hair from puzzlement. “Did I do something wrong?”
Sanghoon pitied him, having the upper hand and questioning himself whether to reveal the truth. However, since this boy took the job, he’s succumbed to secrecy. Without any transparency, it could drive someone mad. He’s too young for that, so Sanghoon breathed in defeat and placed his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.
“Promise me you won’t be mad when I tell you because I was when I found out; almost screamed even.”
Jeno nodded, listening to whatever Sanghoon had to say.
Of all people, he never would’ve expected Athena to do such a brash thing. Someone he respected and trusted, only to betray him by doing something she believed was good for all. Except it wasn’t, and it ended up hurting you all these years. The woman he loved, now he’s a clearer understanding of why you did what you did. Yet, it can’t fix his excruciation.
Heartbroken was an understatement; he had no one to rely on. With Sanghoon, he finally had a proper breakdown. The older man could only comfort his quietly, picturing him like one of his sons going through a hard time in school. But if it involves the heart, it’ll take more time to recover.
“You’re always the one adjusting, Jeno. But I think this time, you’re the one who needs space.”
A Year and a Half Later
“Jeno Lee!!!” Jaemin roughly wallowed his best friend in a hug when he arrived in their dorm room for the first time in a long time. “You dyed your hair blonde again!”
Renjun, who was behind the two of them, only rolled his eyes as he helped carry Jeno’s bags. “God damn it, Jaemin! You’re supposed to be helping me first!”
“I know, but give me a few seconds! I’m just happy our group is back together!”
Jeno laughed at his friends’ annoying yet silly dynamics, giddy to be back home. For a year, Jeno spent his 3rd year of university in Rome, Italy after one of his professors brought up to him about a scholarship program there for his course. At the time where he needed a change of scenery, he sent his application form and got interviewed.
Acing it, he had the opportunity to fly across the world to study and travel. His English skills surely improved, even picking up Italian words along the way due to a required class for it. He studied the history of different locations and how they were built.
He also went on field trips almost every day if it weren’t for the Italian students assigned to tour him around, academic and non-academic. Nights he spent on drinking wine on the rooftop of his dorm with them, screaming his complaints in the world with them.
It didn’t hit him that his stay was reaching its end until he submitted his final plate. His goodbye party didn’t even feel like one, but a see you later in the next few years after he becomes a licensed architect with money. His goal of it felt more realistic, motivating him to excel in his remaining years in university.
After unpacking half of his things, he was reminded of an email from one of the head professors, who requested another copy of his confidential documents from the Italian university he went to as soon as he’s back on campus.
He raced to the department with a folder of them and luckily encountered the said professor. Handing it to him, this professor questioned how he was and what experiences he gained from the trip. With excitement, Jeno spoke all sorts of tales from his adventures, highlighting how determined he was now to be an architect.
“That’s great to hear, Jeno!” He celebrated, checking on his watch, and widened his eyes. Frantic at his colliding schedules, he asked Jeno for a favor. It turned out that at the same time as his emergency meeting, he’s supposed to tour the new transferee student around campus.
“Only if you have time, Jeno! I could always ask another student, plus you just came back and need rest.”
“It’s not like I left for a decade, sir. No worries, I’ll do it.”
“Oh, bless your soul.” He put his hands together in prayer position, bowing back and forth with gratitude. “Wait, she’s right outside! Go ahead and introduce yourself.”
Jeno nodded, exiting right through the department doors. This girl had her back turned, inspecting her surroundings. She wore a black and white tweed blazer that matched with her skirt, black high heeled boots, and a black handbag. She must be a foreigner, Jeno thought.
“Excuse me, are you the transferee in the department of Architecture?”
Jeno didn’t brace himself for the surprise he’d face once this girl reacted to him calling her out. Her face was one he could never forget, no matter how many times he told himself to. The same face he convinced his heart to stop beating for, yet it lied.
This radiant face was none other than yours.
Jeno almost dropped his phone. He tried his best to hold on to your promise, but he failed. It was the main reason he studied abroad; to forget and focus on his career path. So the least thing he could’ve done was to study hard for his dream career.
Just a glimpse of you projected back every single memory you’ve had together. Beautiful yet heart-wrenching, he kept his emotions to himself.
You even wore the rose necklace he got you. Could it be?
“It’s been a while, Lee Jeno.” You took the metaphorical scissors to cut the tension, trying to contain the crushing feelings. The faculty center was a public place, yet it’s like the two of you were on the main stage.
“Do you remember me?” Astounded, you nodded. Every single detail.
Jeno could’ve ran away, but didn’t. He could’ve left you hanging, but didn’t. He can no longer count how many times you’ve appeared in his dreams, only to be disappointed when morning comes to not have you in his arms. He took one step closer, taking his time.
“How do you know me?”
“You’re the boy whom I helped with his assignment, argued with me over Romeo and Juliet,” You mimicked his move, making you one step nearer to him. “And most of all, the boy I once gave my entire heart to.”
Another step, leaving a few inches between the two of you. His heart palpitated without caffeine. What if he was napping in his dorm again? It was all surreal. “Is it really you, (Y/N)?”
Hearing your name from his lips lowered your guard, you pleased him with a hopeful grin. “I’d be dust by now if I didn’t drink Circe’s potion, right?”
That’s where Jeno unchained himself from his emotions. He engulfed in a warm hug, one that has no plans to let go when his chin planted on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, dropping all your worries away along with your bag and papers as your arms snaked through his neck.
You knew you had to part ways for a while after everything, though you were unsure how he’d feel about it. You recalled every time he visited you after his job ended up until his intense chat with Sanghoon, where he bawled his heart out. You couldn’t take it anymore after trying to stay strong, crying as soon as you woke up that night.
All your fellow figures could do was soothe you down like before to the best of their abilities, yet this time, it was unsuccessful. You’re filled with misery, realizing later how much of a big mistake you’ve made.
You’ve isolated yourself again for a while, but less rudeness and more silence. It was until Circe visited you. She doesn’t like getting involved with drama, though now was different. She, alongside Hera and Aphrodite, couldn’t withstand you tolerating the heartbreak again. So they went behind Athena’s back on this one time and created a potion together just for you. But with a compromise.
“This potion can turn you into a human. However, there’s only a 10% chance you’ll regain all your memories from this place.”
“So I’ll forget everyone and him?”
“Yes, unfortunately.” You’re about to shoo her away, not in the mood to do something drastic as that. But Circe grabbed your arm again. “I strongly believe that if you and he meant to be, then there will come a time these past memories will suddenly surge at you.”
“Must I need to forget to live properly?”
You’re stubborn, and Circe expected it. “You’ve broken so many golden rules, (Y/N), so it must be done. I’ve gone against Athena for this potion, and rarely have I done that. So rather than wallowing up in misery, you should focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy because this place is trapping you from every great thing out there.”
Those were the word that the actual (Y/N) (Y/L/N) lived by, nevertheless, you’re unique from her. You built a separate identity from her. “But Jeno-”
“At the right time, (Y/N). Pull yourself together and do all the things you’ve dreamt of before he came into the picture. I just know he loves you that much, and that he will wait for you.”
That same night, you gathered all your senses and drank it. The transition was fast as lightning speed, and behold, you were like a new person. You’re back in London, with a family that closely resembled your former one; only 3 older siblings, making you the youngest. You also had a new set of memories, from childhood until your adult years.
From (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you became (Y/N) Edwards.
It took one drunken night out with your university friends for the unlikely surge of old memories to speedily hit through your intoxicated state. Way beyond a dream, you’ve dropped your shot glass and broke down in the bathroom of your dorm room. You left something unaccomplished, and you had to do something before it’s too late.
Thus, you rushed to Seoul thanks to your parents’ support as they agreed that exploring outside your home country was a great experience. The only excuse you gave to your friends for the sudden transfer was you finding a new calling.
Sure, studying abroad was an exciting thing but you’re more determined to reunite with him. Even if this encounter was unforeseen, it was bound to happen one day. It so turned out that you had the same major in your former university and this new one.
Head to toe, you remembered everything.
“I’m so sorry I took so long.” You cradled your head on his chest, unaware of how your new life left Jeno so troubled.
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” Jeno tightened his grip, scared of releasing you again. Those two years felt like a breath of fresh air and a punch in the gut. “I tried to live up to your last wish, but I really can’t.”
“I want to take that wish back, Jeno. I wasn’t thinking right and only ended putting you through so much.”
“Oh, angel. I slowly understood why you did it.” Before he got too fragile, he softened his grip on you and showed his face again to you. He wanted a better look at his pretty girl, his fingers brushing strands of your hair behind your ear. Heart-fluttering, you bit your bottom lip. “What would you want to wish for instead?”
“Instead of you letting me go, I wish you could take me back and love me again. I can’t undo the past, but I’d still like to think I’ve tried my best.” That was the only wish you could ever think of. As huge as it was, it was something he may not accept. Yet you gave it a go, risking it all. “I don’t deserve you at all, Jeno.”
“Don’t say that, (Y/N).” One of his hands grabbed yours, putting it on his cheek. Cupping it, “I’ve never stopped loving you, you know.”
Oh, love. An all-too familiar emotion that either makes or breaks you. Of all the times you could’ve said those words, you held back, especially that wretched night you two broke it off. Although you showed it, being able to say it to someone felt more empowering.
This was finally the chance you’ve unconsciously waited for.
“I’m stupid for not saying this sooner.”
“What is it?”
With intimate eye contact, you drowned in the comfort of his brown orbs. You trusted him then, and you trusted him now. “I love you, Lee Jeno.”
Secretly, Jeno anticipated for the day you’d say those meaningful 3 words. Just like you, he showed more affection through actions than words. He only admitted when he lost you, and never would he do the same mistake again. If he felt that the love was strongly present, he will say it aloud.
“I love you still, (Y/N).” His arm around your waist tugged you in further. “I loved you as (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I will continue to love you as (Y/N) Edwards.”
He peeked on your ID earlier, but regardless, he stood by his truth. You’re still the same (Y/N).
Finally, he closed the limited space between your lips. The memories of your past romance replayed in sync of every touching kiss, popping one leg up like in the movies. The Princess Diaries, specifically. Like in the museum from your unbearable parting, one warm tear freed itself down your cheek.
The sweetness of being reunited with you again beat the torturous wait of Jeno. Time really made your hearts grow fonder. As everyone said, if the love between two people is real, then it’ll find its way back to each other.
The world must be on your side too because no professor called you two out on your public display of affection. Jeno pecked your lips one time before stepping away, picking up the things you dropped.
“Now come on, I have to tour you around as instructed.”
You stomped on your feet, rolling your eyes from being left hanging. He’s still the same tease from before. “After that kiss though, I would’ve thought we could reschedule it.”
“No can do, Edwards.” Passing over your things, he wrapped one arm around you as he escorted you out of the building. The university was huge, with more buildings and green fields surrounded everywhere. “Left or right? There are a lot of places you missed out on all those years.”
“Point taken. Then you lead the way, my love.”
#nct#nct au#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct fluff#nct angst#nct smut#nct imagines#nct dream#nct dream au#nct dream scenarios#nct dream x reader#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct dream smut#nct dream imagines#lee jeno#lee jeno x reader#lee jeno au#lee jeno scenarios#lee jeno angst#lee jeno imagines#lee jeno fluff#lee jeno smut#jeno#jeno x reader#jeno au#jeno scenarios#jeno imagines#jeno fluff
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Obliviate | Draco Malfoy
M A S T E R L I S T
Harry Potter Masterlist
very sad (light) smut
requested
requests info
this is so sad. I’m sorryyyyy. also if you wanted to set the mood more, I listened to THIS while writing it. Please listen to it, it wont be the same without the song lmao
Part 1/10
(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)(Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)(Part 9)(Part 10)
Draco had thought back to every other time in his life where he had felt like this, and nothing came to mind. There wasn’t another second of his torturous life that felt like this. He tended to count his blessings where he had them, and you were a blessing in his life. One that he woke up every single day thanking God for, Draco isn’t sure he’d ever love anyone the way he loves you. But he knew from the start, that the two of you were doomed, two lovers caught on each side of the war. His Father in direct relation with the Dark Lord, and you- Harry Potter’s cousin. There was a target on your back from the second you got to Hogwarts all those years ago and when Draco had first met you- he didn’t understand just how much danger you were already in.
Nobody looked at Draco the way you did, nobody looked at him like he was worth saving. But when you looked at him, you saw something in him that he didn’t even see in himself. Draco believes that he was never a good person until he met you, and even then whether or not he was good is still up to debate. You inspire people to be better, to be good and if there is no good- you create it. You are a light in an everlasting darkness, and he doesn’t deserve you. But selfishly he wants to keep you- and he knows you’d never voluntarily leave him. He had to make the choice for you. You can’t stubbornly stand by his side if you don’t remember you’re in love with him.
The Black Lake looks darker than Draco remembered it being. The view he currently held from the astronomy tower was beautiful in it’s own way, but now that he held every memory you have of him in his hands- the beauty seemed to slip out of the world. Looking down at the small vial in his hands, the vial containing your memories of him, his bottom lip quivers. He can’t stand how emotional you make him, you make him feel both weak and strong at the same time. His hand curls around the vial, Draco knows this is what he needs to do. He never expected it to be this hard though.
Closing his eyes, Draco decided to take one last walk down memory lane before he would destroy your memories of him forever.
The first time you had met Draco was when you were stood on the steps next to your cousin, Harry. Draco was stood in front of you, and although his eyes were on Harry- the blush on his cheeks came from being so close to you. Draco had held his head high, even when you snapped at him and told him how wonderful you found Ron to be. Draco always admired your sharp tongue, your unwillingness to step down when you felt passionately about something. He’s going to miss being your voice of reason, or the hand that holds you back when you’re ready to literally fight for what you believe in. You always say what you’re really thinking, how you’re really feeling. That’s something Draco has never really had the strength to do. If he did he would have said he loved you more often, and perhaps would have told Harry that he doesn’t hate him.
Draco vividly remembers the first time you looked at him, and saw him in a way nobody else does. Not even Crabbe and Goyle. He was sat in the back corner of the Library, hiding away from everyone and everything after receiving yet another disappointed letter from his Father. You’d been gathering books to study for Potions when you spotted him sitting secluded, alone. You didn’t hesitate to go sit next to him, and when you looked over at him you saw every emotion he carefully hid from the world written plainly on his face. As if you had the only key to unlock the innermost parts of his brain. After a few minutes of gentle coaxing, Draco eventually began to open up to you about his Father and in return you opened up about your terrible parents. About how abusive they were to Harry- how much that hurt you. Draco hadn’t given it a second thought when you revealed you were muggle born. Really Draco didn’t mind, nor did it offend him in the way he acted it did but for his Father Draco must keep up appearances.
He still feels guilty remembering how you recoiled away from him when he had spat the word ‘mudblood’ in your direction. He feels guilty as he remembers the tears trickling down your cheeks. Even that feeling paled in comparison to the way Draco feels now.
Draco remembers the first time you kissed him, and yes much to his embarrassment it was you that kissed him. You always were someone who went after what you wanted. He was in the Hospital wing after Buckbeak attacked him. Despite him being the biggest prat you’d ever met, you still went to see him anyway. You sat next to Draco in the bed, seeing the tears well in his eyes at the revelation Buckbeak would be executed. Sure he was angry the stupid thing attacked him but never would he want Buckbeak killed for it. Draco wasn’t entirely surprised to learn his Father had threatened the committee in order for Buckbeak to be sentenced. It’s not Draco that his Father cared about, it’s the family image. You had cupped his cheeks, and gently pressed your lips to his. It was the only thing you could think to do to soothe him, and it worked. Draco melted against you, his sorrows briefly muted by the feeling of your lips on his own. He thinks he might have fallen in love with you right at that moment.
The first time you went to Hogsmeade with him was the following year, during the winter. Your cheeks were rosy and your hand was as cold as ice around his warmer palm. He remembers you squealing with excitement as it began to snow again, the soft flakes fluttering gently around you. You truly did look like an angel. The snow stuck to your hair as you turned to look at him, “make a snowman with me!” Your voice was lilted, almost melodic as the happiness you felt carried over into your tone. While Draco didn’t normally do silly things like making snowmen, he couldn’t fight the smile that split across his face as he helped you roll the bottom of the snowman. Before that moment, Draco never knew joy like that even existed. It was only later that he discovered that this kind of joy only existed when he was with you.
The first time the words ‘I love you’ graced the space between your lips was when you’d both met at the astronomy tower at midnight. The stars were twinkling beautifully, but even so Draco couldn’t keep his eyes off you. You blushed, refusing to meet his eye. You were always insecure, which baffled Draco immensely. How could you believe any other girl is anywhere close to being as pretty as you? There’s not another woman on the face of this Earth that compares to you, and you would often giggle and tell him to stop when he would begin his long ‘you’re the most beautiful girl’ rant. You had led Draco to believe, that maybe he and Harry could find peace. You were in fact, the only thing they had in common. The words fell right out of his mouth before he could pause to give them any thought. “I love you,” The air seemed to stiffen around him, crushing him as he watched you. You didn’t hesitate.
“I love you Draco.” It was the best moment of his life.
Draco will never forget the first time he was allowed to see the beauty of your bare skin. You’d think it would be easier to find places to be alone in this great big castle, eventually Draco had settled for the edge of the Black Lake- far from the castle. The journey out to the Lake had started innocently, the both of you quite enjoyed star gazing and spending your evenings together. You’d been sitting next to him, watching the large tentacles of the monster that lives in the Lake toss you things from the depths. You really did have a way in bringing out the good in everything, you’d even managed to befriend the monster that lives in the Lake. “Wow look at this,” your voice was quiet with amazement as you turned over a beautiful amulet in your hands. It was simple, silver chain with a white gem that shone as brightly as the moon. The Lake monster had given it to you, and Draco remembers the soft sigh that left your lips as his hands graced the back of your neck, fastening the amulet.
Draco remembers the delicate way you turned to face him, how your eyes never left his as you carefully slid onto his lap. Your hands were placed on his shoulders as your lips met in a slow and languid kiss. The searing heat built between you two and seemed to draw your most intimate parts together. Without realizing, you’d begun to gently grind against Draco- drawing out soft moans from his lips. Never before had Draco felt this kind of desire for another person. His hands slid up your back and carefully removed each layer of clothing that was in between him and your bare skin. Your skin was flushed as Draco’s lips explored your naked body, carefully turning you over so that he would hover above you. You gripped fistfuls of the grass as Draco had found his home in between your legs, laving your sensitive folds with his tongue and mouth. It felt like heaven, and he knew it did. He could see it on your face, and you looked so beautiful.
The desire burning inside you began to beat between your legs like a drum as you pulled Draco back up your body. Nuzzling his nose against yours, Draco slipped the head of his member in between your folds. The thought of hurting you made him feel sick to his stomach, but with a few gentle words of encouragement from you, he was gently working himself inside your tight heat. The feeling was incomparable, indescribable, suffocating, and intoxicating all at the same time. Draco knew that here on the grass, between your legs, was somewhere he wanted to be forever. If he could capture this moment in something more than his minds eye he would, he wants this memory to live forever. He rocked into you again and again, losing himself in the way your body felt against his. Never had Draco felt so connected to another person, you had him, mind body and soul. He was falling into that pit now, no doubt about it, and there was no way out. He was head over heels in love, not that he minded.
Draco would do anything to keep you safe, and he really means that.
Draco had grown distant from you this year, mostly because of the swirling black tattoo on his left forearm. The Dark Mark. He knew in an instant that you had to stay as far from him as humanly possible, and while he tried to stay away, he was weak and kept falling back into your embrace. He needed to convince you to stay away from him, and if he couldn’t...then he had to make you. You’d confronted him this evening, with tears in your eyes and a tremble in your hands. You wanted, needed, to know what was going on. Why he felt so far away from you. So Draco pressed a kiss to your forehead, took your hand, and led you here. To the Astronomy tower, a place where so many monumentous things happened between you. This would be the perfect place to say goodbye.
You staggered back when he lifted his sleeve. The breath was stolen from your lungs when you saw the Dark Mark, writhing and wriggling on his arm. Tears built in your eyes as you looked at him, his name falling past your broken lips. How could this have happened? How could he let this happen? You wanted to scream, to tear your hair out, to cry, to do anything but your body wouldn’t let you. You simply stood frozen before him, feeling as though the most powerful force in the world was tearing the two of you apart. The next words out of his mouth shattered you beyond repair.
“You need to stay away from me, for your own good. And for Harry’s.” It was the first time he’d ever used Harry’s first name, that’s how you knew he really meant this. But you couldn’t, you loved Draco with every ounce of your heart, how could you leave him? You shook your head vehemently, tears now free falling down your cheeks. “I-I can’t.” You gasped, watching a pained expression cross onto Draco’s face. He didn’t want to do this, he really didn’t want to do this but the thought of you getting tortured or killed by Voldemort replays in his mind. He couldn’t put you in danger, not for something so selfish, not because he loves you. It’s because he loves you that he’s willing to let you go, that he’s willing to make this sacrifice if it means keeping you safe.
When he turns to you again, his wand is raised and the look on his face is one you’ve never seen before. His hand is trembling, his eyes look hollow and his mouth is quivering. He looks desperate, he looks distraught, but most of all, he looks broken. “Draco,” You whisper, tears in your eyes as you look up at him, your hand finding the railing behind you. “You have to stay away from me.” Draco gasps, desperately fighting tears.
“Please don’t do this.” Your voice is weak, you know what’s coming next. You’re smart enough to connect the dots.
Draco’s hand wavers, “I have to.” His voice is final, but his body looks as though it’s falling apart. Thoughts of him facing what he must face, without your love, sends panic through your chest. He’ll have to endure the pain, the struggles, all of it, alone. You want to be there for him, you don’t care about the danger. Draco knows you don’t, that’s why he has to do this.
“Baby please, I love you.” You cry desperately, and Draco feels his heart burning to dust in his chest as he looks down at you. “I love you too.” He breathes, closing his eyes and steeling his nerves for what he is going to do next. “Draco!” Your voice comes out as a cry of desperation, and you lurch forward. But Draco is faster.
“Obliviate.” He whispers the word into the open air, watching as you halt, your tearful eyes locked on his. “Draco,” You whisper as a light of blue slips from your head and into the tip of Draco’s wand. Your hands drop to your sides, and your eyes fall flat, looking through him now, seeing him as everyone else does. Your face is empty, expressionless as you watch him. Lowering his wand, Draco slips your memories into the vial as you blink in confusion before sending him a nervous smile. You look around briefly, before reaching over to grab your coat. You brush past Draco without looking at him again, offering a hollow ‘goodnight’ over your shoulder as you go. Draco feels empty, emptier than he ever has. It’s only now that he lets a tear slide down his cheek.
His hands were shaking as he leaned over the railing, the cool wind chilling him. The view laid out before him doesn’t hold any beauty in it anymore, and it feels as though all the color has drained from the world. Grasping the vial tightly in his hand, Draco squeezes his eyes shut before throwing it as hard as he could over the edge of the astronomy tower. He watches with bleary eyes as the vial of your memories, the vial containing your love for him disappears into the Black Lake. This is the right thing to do, but Draco can’t fight how wrong it feels. He knows now that he’ll never be the same, but he turns anyway. Straightens his suit, wipes his tears, and begins the journey back to his common room.
#draco malfoy#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy smut#draco x reader#draco x you#harry potter#harry potter smut#hogwarts#sad smut#Sad Imagine#obliviate#gentle smut#bittersweet
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Fri 19 March ‘21
Zach Sang’s 25 min of relaxing ASMR wait no I mean celebration of Zayn’s great talking voice wait NO I MEAN his ZAYN INTERVIEW (promised months ago then sadly postponed until NOW) is here!! Zach is such a good interviewer for these guys, you can tell he sincerely loves the music and he asks great respectful questions only, love it. And sure enough, this is a lovely interview and Zayn actually seems totally comfortable chatting and sharing his thoughts. They talk about lots of specifics about the songs on NIL; Zayn says NIL is his fave of his music and that he “tried to go a little deeper into my own personal things,” he said that he recorded the majority of the album at home in Pennsylvania and that yes, it is influenced by being there, that River Road especially is massively inspired by the locale and “I’ve got a very country vibe going on right now with the big beard and the nature, I’m enjoying it, it’s cool.” He says the cover painting is of “the blank expressions you might get when you’re speaking to somebody that’s not listening,” that “my teenage years were very different than I expected them to be and I learned a lot of things … to take things easy and at your own pace.” About Calamity that he often writes poems (zoems) and just takes lyrics out of them later, but friends voted he keep Calamity as is and go for it, that Sweat (the drums specifically) is an homage to Phil Collins, that he’s writing new stuff and will hopefully have something more out later this year, and Zach asks the pressing question we’ve all had: IS THAT A KAZOO ON CONNEXION? Disappointingly Zayn’s answer is only, I don’t really fuck with those fine details, that’s down to the producers. So no confirmation but also: it’s totally a kazoo. And finally this from Z: “I love music, it’s my solace. I love writing, I love being in the studio and being in that space, it’s something I love to do. I feel like as long as I’m alive it’s something I’ll do I’d like to be able to, I’d like people to remain interested for as long as I’m alive, I know that’s a long shot but it’s a long haul, we’re all trying to stay around for as long as we can.”
We got to see Liam today!! I’ve missed that sweet face! He recorded a little video while walking through a park (“on my way to the shops”) to show off his beautiful shaggy long hair and beard to say that he’s just surpassed 5 billion streams and a “humungous massive ginormous thank you to all you guys who are listening.”
Louis tweeted “a lot of these NFT projects are very interesting!” NFTs are unique digital things-- like normally anything online can be duplicated, unlike real objects, this way it can’t (it’s how crypto currency works), or rather: you CAN still copy stuff, just there’s a way to tell the original from the copy (of a copy). People are excited about this because it makes it possible to sell things that previously you couldn’t really charge money for (like unique digital art). The way it’s achieved is unfortunately via the massive and wasteful expenditure of resources though, it’s very bad for the environment; current bitcoin creation alone for example uses more resources than entire countries and the current NFT craze is racing to outdo that. Louis responded to a DM asking about that; “Louis are you aware the average NFT has a carbon footprint equivalent to more than a month’s electricity for a person living in the EU?” Louis says, “I’m aware and it’s something I’m looking to do differently if I do my own project,” then liked a tweet from a company addressing the issue: "Our carbon neutrality pledge is a step toward making NFT digital collectibles and the digital metaverse part of a green, environmentally friendly future.” IDK how realistic that is, but in any case Louis is aware of the issues and the fans’ concerns.
Anyway he also tweeted about football a bunch- because a former Doncaster player was picked for the England World Cup team!! Louis says the player “was at donny when I was training there. Top lad and top keeper,” and “he deserves every bit of success.” And in answer to queries, the official word from Louis’ merch site (responsive as ever, bless that twin) is that they do not plan to restock the album! No CDs! This is likely due to it having been put out by Syco, who no longer exist, but what does it mean in the long run? It’s a major release and I can’t imagine it simply going out of print forever, surely a reprint of some kind will be worked out?
What secrets was Niall hiding in his photodump yesterday? “What are you playing on the piano?” asks a follower, and Niall selected the tweet to, well not answer, but to draw attention to his failure to answer by simply replying with an eyes emoji, like a troll. Then he posted a picture of sunglasses on an electronic piano, but when asked again to spill what was up said only “a pair of sunglasses on a Wurlitzer.” But IS he trolling? “There’s nothing to know hahah it’s literally a pair of sunglasses on a piano!” he protests. He also tweeted “today is a good day!” which ALSO doesn’t tell us anything but you know what, Niall’s out there having a good time and good for him.
Lenny Kravitz tagged Harry in a throwback post of himself in a stunning look- “real men wear boas,” and the deuxmoi / Olivia’s PR team partnership rose to new levels of obviousness with the gossip blog using a supposed blind item about Olivia (you’d think she was royalty, the astonishing number of blind items they JUST HAPPEN to get) to announce a giveaway in partnership with a sponsor brand she is the face of. HARD eyeroll, imagine thinking that blog wasn’t get paaaaid, can’t relate.
#zayn#liam payne#louis tomlinson#niall horan#harry styles#well#not really#but sort of#19 mar 21#sam johnstone#zach sang#then youtube was like do you wanna watch zach's louis interview again?? and I was like YOU KNOW WHAT#the last five minutes or so of that interview are like some of my favorite louis content out there#I did rewatch just that bit
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okay i’m still obsessed with your idea of nesta and tarquin together!! would you mind giving us a little more on that, like how would they first interact, what would nesta think of him, all of that? thank you so much!!!! 💚💚
I would love to!!!
The important thing to remember about the Tarquin Draft is that is has the same main story as Daylight: Nesta in Day, Nesta the Library, Helion’s grumpy best, best truest friend ride or die companion.
So Nesta doesn’t actually meet Tarquin again until she’s halfway to okay. It’s plotwise timeline closest to where she is in the most recent chapter- feeling at home in her body, really hitting her stride as Librarian, gaining a reputation as just an absolutely formidable force who helps anyone who asks.
There’s been correspondence between the Library and Summer- Nesta, acting as a go-between for Kallias- but remember, no one uses her name.
So it’s a big surprise when the Librarian arrives in Summer, pulls down her black and gold hood and...there is Feyre Archeron’s face, like a nightmare. Except not- wearier, sharper, older, devastation and salvation like the sunrise after a storm at sea- Nesta, who laughs in Cresseida’s face when the Princess of Adriata calls her a Night Court spy.
Nesta: wouldn’t that require belonging to the Night Court? Try my baby sister, if you’d like to yell about idiotic plans. Where are the books that keep eating people?
Cresseida is so wary, but Nesta, of course, isn’t actually going to leave before handling the cursed trove some Summer sailors pulled from the sea. She’s the Librarian.
Tarquin just...doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want to be proved inexperienced, that he can’t act for his people’s good by a beautiful woman again. But Nesta aggressively wants to help, and ultimately, he lets her.
And Nesta acts nothing like Feyre.
She takes off that cloak of office (listen, I’m picturing like, the coolest wide-legged, sleeveless white linen jumpsuit that has EVER existed, chic but functional), puts on a sunhat that she...magicked into her hand? and stomps into the shallows. Starts pulling sailors souls out of the treasure and hauling them to shore.
It’s terrifyingly efficient. And listen, Tarquin doesn’t give a shit about rank, so he, after some very blushy surprise because no, he did not know he had a competency kink and Nesta Archeron has tiny adorable little freckles on her shoulders- gets in the waves to help.
Nesta doesn’t even look at him.
What she does is save the lives of twelve of his men, pick up the faintly hissing, utterly cursed chest of books that started all this, and ask Cresseida is there’s a room where she can work.
So they take her to the palace.
The beautiful ambassadors rooms, windows and silk and the sound of water.
It becomes clear that the curse is in fact, just a curse, but one that can only be broken under the full moon, which is two weeks away. So Nesta stays, being the only person who can keep that magic from spreading. The only payment she wants is to take the books back when she goes which leaves Tarquin, arms full of the traditional gift of pearls, VERY embarrassed.
But he gets over it. Tarquin is genuinely chill- he has baggage from the weight of his responsibility, of being fooled by the Night Court- but he’s also so, so young. Kind. Curious. He doesn’t want to judge Nesta on the actions of people related to her, and once she proves herself, he doesn’t.
And meanwhile Nesta is like, cool. Cool, cool, cool- I can’t sleep while I’m here, I can’t winnow home and sleep because the Library can’t suppress a curse from hundreds of miles away, I’m not going to steal the books like a fucking thief in the night like Feyre-
So Nesta does a lot of exploring.
Tarquin comes into the harbor one morning, pink still streaking the sky. He’d been up in predawn doing Manly Boating Things with his navy- he walks through the harbor, lets the sounds his happy people sooth the rush of magic that still surprises him- to shape the sea, to cease the waves, to bend the world, to call the tide- and goes looking for breakfast.
Instead, he finds Nesta.
In line a line waiting for fresh bread and pastries, in another insanely attractive white outfit, looking at the sky. She’s alone- he’d given her guards, servants, knew damn well Cresseida was watching her- holding a basket, drinking coffee with her free hand.
So Tarquin joins her.
It cannot be overstated how genuinely charmed they both are with how normal it is. No death and war between them. No magic drawing them together. No real history- Nesta isn’t Feyre in the slightest- just a man with salt drying in his hair and a beautiful grin, asking if he can buy Nesta breakfast.
Just Nesta, and the only High Lord she’s ever met besides Helion who isn’t aggressive. As she says, Nesta has as many problems with High Fae men as they tend to her- the siren song of power, challenge called to challenge by her very primordial being.
And listen, Tarquin is a huge, very physical dude. Summer faeries are touchy, in a friendly way. But he also, like Helion, is smart enough to pick up on how screamingly uncomfortable men make Nesta. He doesn’t know why, and noticing it made him feel a little sick- but he’s careful. Kind, funny Tarquin, whose managed in knowing her just a few days to figure out how to approach her without triggering her.
So Nesta says yes. Nesta probably says something snarky as hell about his High Lordly hospitality.
And Tarquin laughs- genuinely, beautiful.
He’s still laughing when they get to humble little window, and Nesta goes still.
Tarquin clocks it- handles what they’re doing, gets Nesta out of the line of people without unnecessarily touching her. He sort of thinks she’s having a panic attack?- finds a nice quiet bench under a tree. He’s also pretty sure he’s making it worse just by being present, but he’s not going to leave her alone like this- so Tarquin just like, sits on the ground.
Which startles Nesta. She looks up- he doesn’t know her well enough to know what’s going on, so he’s extremely confused when Nesta goes: why is she here?
Tarquin: ???
Nesta: the HUMAN
There’s part of Nesta thinking the worst possible scenarios- what her past and the Night court taught her.
But Tarquin just like, blinks? Sets down the pastry bag on the bench for Nesta and is says well, she was shipwrecked. A whole passenger ship from the continent last summer- she was going to the North, to start a new business. But she liked it here, and decided to stay.
Nesta: that human woman, owns a business? Here.
Tarquin, who’s starting to get what is happening here: Yes. She’s a Summer Court citizen.
Nesta eats a pastry. Nesta, face wry, eventually hands a pastry to Tarquin, who’d seemingly decided she needed them more than he did. Tarquin wolfs it down in three bites, just enough time for Nesta to grumpily confess: I’ve never seen a free human, above the Wall.
Tarquin, haltingly, shyly is like: well, I want it to be different. We all share the same world. Acting like we’re not all the same is how Hybern almost took over-
By the end of the sentence he’d managed to look up. That was the voice a High Lord, a man who had power and would use it.
So they have this truce, a spark of very real, pretty damned charmed interest. They walk back to the Palace across the whole city, talking.
The next day Nesta is deep in working Librarianing while she’s there- and Tarquin just pops up. Draws as little attention to himself as possible to be like, here. I noticed your hat blew away yesterday? So I brought you a new one. And some coffee. Do you like it cold? Don’t let me get in the way, what you’re doing is important.
What he means by important: incredible.
It had taken him ages to find her, because Nesta is apparently spending her spare time- does she sleep??- winnowing all over his territory, solving any problems anyone asks of her, bringing books to schools. Talking to regional leaders about what their educational needs are. Chatting with sea monsters so the fishermen understand they’ll be totally safe, so long as they always throw back in that one kind of crab that the baby krackens exclusively eat.
And look, it is a coping strategy. Nesta CANNOT rest by the sound of the sea- but she’d also realized this kingdom her sister had fucked with had been hit so, so hard by Amarantha, and then the war. That she can help, so she will.
But she just kind of stops. Tarquin left as quickly as he came she’s just there like- coffee. hat. BEAUTIFUL RESPECTFUL MAN. It’s not the vibe of her and Helion. It’s flirty but not...pressing? It’s nothing like how any faerie man (see: Cassian) who wanted her has ever, ever treated her and it’s just...so, nice.
He’s nice. Gorgeous. Easy to be around, which Does Not Happen to Nesta ever.
Nesta breaks the curse and leaves.
Keeps her promise to the schools, visits to sit on the shore and talk to sea monster babies, so much more prodigious now that they have enough food.
Tarquin thinks she’s amazing, and he starts writing to her. For real Lordship reasons, but also just to see what she’ll say- he wants to know how humans live. How his cities could integrate them. Can they use magic? Will they, if it’s available to them?
Tarquin finds someone- witty, beautiful, so intriguing- who believes in the value of his most difficult dreams. Nesta finds someone who looks at the most fraught, hurt parts of her- humanity lost, a terrible human life, that she still, even now, asks herself sometimes if she can belong, and treats those things as important and integral.
And they fall in love.
It’s a story about a lot of things- Nesta, who drowned to become, learning the whole seas of world will still for her, protect her. Tarquin who does revolutionize his kingdom, and spend centuries counting Nesta’s freckles as they peel and disappear.
Love of choice. Nesta, in the sun, being adored. Tarquin, who so many people think is foolish, a reckless dreamer, defended by the most loyal person on earth.
There’s small details i love so much it makes me want to go to the extremely troublesome work of writing them their own story- Nesta inviting the mermaids from the Night Court waters to live in a place no on is afraid of them. Tarquin who is both sort of a golden retriever but ALSO a proud, petty bitch when tried, draping Nesta head to toe in rubies for inter-court events.
With Tarquin the story really embraces the idea of eternity- of possibility. They’re young, they’re equals in this eternal life. There’s so many years ahead of them, so many things they can do: they have time to go slow, to make changes, to learn each other inside and out as they become the people they want to be.
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GENSHIN IMPACT AS IDOLS
- one of the groups consists of: Zhongli, Childe, Venti, Xiao, Diluc, Kaeya and Albedo
- Zhongli is the leader and the oldest obvsly and his smooth deep voice is to die for
- He's also the visual along with Albedo (tho everyone here is gorgeous, ngl)
- Childe constantly switches between rap and vocal, but he's mostly recognized for his amazing dancing (he's the main dancer for a reason)
- Venti is the main vocal and possibly writes most of their songs (sometimes Albedo helps him)
- Funnily enough, Venti is often confused for being the maknae while in reality he's the second oldest in the group
- Xiao is the main rapper
- He refuses to sing but would do it if asked (rarely)
- and he's the real maknae - even tho he hates it he can't do anything about it (and everyone, especially Venti and Childe, loves teasing him for it)
- Diluc and Kaeya are the other rappers along with Xiao and they are related in some way tho both refuse to reveal anything to the public (but everyone is convinced they're brothers)
- they don't get along most of the time and argue constantly, but it only amuses the rest of the members and the fans absolutely love their arguments bc it more often than not turns into a rap battle
- and let me tell you, they completely kill it
- then, we have Albedo. He and Zhongli are the most peaceful ones and most likely keep the team together bc if not those idiots would've caused absolute chaos eons ago
- His voice is angelic, everyone adores it
- Childe and Kaeya are the most chaotic duo especially together
- they have the stupidest ideas and like to mess around
- and they are perfectly aware of their god-like looks and also have the audacity to use it "against" their fans (not that anyone complains)
- they are partners in crime when it comes to teasing Diluc
- Kaeya does it on a daily basis and Childe found it funny and decided to join him on causing inconvenience to others, lol
- Xiao, even though he's an idol, hates interacting with humans but makes an exception for fanmeetings, concerts, interviews and such because Zhongli raised him right--
- he has a soft spot for cats and would have one at the dorm if it wasn't for Venti being allergic to them (although he doesn't see any problem with it)
- speaking of the dorm, it's the pure definition of destruction
- Childe and Kaeya being the little shits they are room together and they are that kind of roommates that would blast music on full volume in the middle of the night just because they felt like it (but obvsly they do it to summon a demon in the form of sleep deprived Diluc because they know he's a light sleeper)
- Venti at some point moved in with them bc he felt like it and it's totally not because Xiao kicked him out--
- Zhongli and Diluc share a room because they both know how to appreciate a moment of peace and they just like each other's company; their perfect afternoon on their day off is sitting there with a cup of tea each and exchanging stories they've heard and/or experienced
- Albedo is probably the only person Xiao would room with excluding Zhongli (and maybe Diluc but it's debatable) because he's calm and collected, doesn't talk too much unlike the other three and when he does talk it's nice to listen to him
- also, the sound of sketching calms him down
- Venti somehow lives in all of the rooms in the dorm. First he roomed with Xiao and Albedo, but he got kicked out by the maknae. Then he gravitated towards Zhongli and Diluc but after a few days the redhead got so annoyed with him he ended up with Childe and Kaeya. The three of them share a braincell, that's why they get along so well, but even though he lives with them he sometimes ends up in the other rooms but that's just him
- he likes a change of scenery, ehe
- Zhongli's the dad of the group
- whenever someone has a problem they automatically go to him
- also, even though they are a really chaotic group, they are equally capable of working together (main reason why they are so goddamn awesome on stage)
- Xiao might act like he doesn't care but he does. A lot
- every time one of his hyungs is having a bad day he subtly tries to cheer them up. He feels awkward with words in these moments and physical contact isn't really his forte but instead he does things like buying them their favorite snack, or opting to watch their favorite film with them (even if he absolutely hates it he still would watch it)
- everyone obvsly knows what he's doing and they appreciate it
- Childe and Kaeya actually aren't as easy-going as they like to appear on stage. They are really emotional human beings and are probably most affected by hate comments and such
- Diluc, as much as he despises their attitude and teasing he has to endure bc of them, cares about them a lot and usually he's the one to knock some sense in them when they believe the haters or just have a bad day. He may not like their behavior but he's not heartless and deems them as family (even tho he wouldn't admit it)
- Albedo isn't a lot older than Xiao, maybe something around a few months, so everyone thinks of him like a second maknae and just because he gives off the vibe, y'know
- He loves drawing and sometimes does a sketch of one of the members or recreates a fanart of them he saw on Pinterest (cue to the fans going wild)
- He, alongside with Diluc, often cooks for them. They both are amazing cooks and I refuse to believe otherwise
- Venti has a playlist prepared for every occasion and uses them accordingly
- he also has playlists dedicated to every member of the group and it's his way of cheering them up or being there for them when they are separated
- as for the run episodes, well.... It can be described in one word
- chaos
- they're even capable of riling Zhongli up!
- tho he mostly opts to watch the chaos from the sidelines, snickering under his breath, he ends up in the crossfire from time to time
- contrary to popular belief, the most competitive ones are Diluc and Xiao
- they are so set on winning they sometimes forget that it's all a game
- Childe once got an elbow to the face in one episode but still no one knows who did it (it was Kaeya--)
- Albedo is just... There, tho he does enjoy it. More than he would admit
- Childe and Kaeya are dying of laughter most of the time and do stupid things that probably only they understand which makes the other laugh harder
- and Venti absolutely loves being the host: it gives him a perfect view of his friends who half the time have no idea what the hell is going on and, of course, power
- the fanmeetings are just the other excuse for them to make fun of each other and fool around
- fans don't mind it one bit because it is honestly hilarious to watch the utter chaos unfold
- even when they are signing albums and merch they throw comments here and there to provoke the other
- especially Xiao bc he's a softie when it comes to their fans and as long as the girls don't do anything... Weird, he doesn't mind interacting with them and sometimes finds himself actually enjoying the contact
- while we're on the fanmeetings--
- Zhongli is absolutely wonderful. He's the kind to delicately hold your hand, look into you eyes and smile softly while focusing entirely on you and what you have to say, indulging into conversation as well
- if it wasn't for the staff members reminding him that the time's up, he would spend at least an hour with every fan
- Childe is so excited he grins so much his cheeks hurt, and would look at you like you just made his day. You can be stuttering, super nervous and anxious and he'd just say it's completely fine and that you should take your time, even if the staff says that you should move to the next member
- Venti is the one that talks a lot, but would shut up and listen to you. He especially likes playing with your hands or just some games like rock-paper-scissors
- he also loves it when some fans show him their singing and he encourages them to go on, synchronizing with them and making an amazing duet
- Xiao is, like I've said before, a big softie. He really appreciates the fact that people find their music nice and genuinely like to listen to it. Would probably ask you questions like "what's your favorite song?", "What do you think of this album *gestures to the one he just signed*" etc
- he DID wear cat ears once because a fan gave them to him and they looked kind of cute
- he didn't hear the end of it for two weeks minimum and Childe and Kaeya probably have the pic as their wallpapers
- Diluc is the most... normal one? I mean, he enjoys the meetings a lot, but he doesn't show his excitement as much as the others. Conversations with him are like talking to an old friend that understands you and it's just so... wholesome
- he's honestly surprised when he gets gifts from the fans. He does appreciate it of course, but he just doesn't really understand why you would go as far as to give him something for no particular reason please give him lots of love he needs it-
- Kaeya is the one with the audacity to flirt with you. Loves seeing the blush on your cheeks and just enjoys annoying people. Though he sometimes stops it out of mercy and opts to talk with you like a normal human being--
- most protective of their fans. Sees one in distress or being picked on, immediatly steps in or tells a staff member to handle the situation
- Albedo is somewhere between Zhongli and Diluc's behaviour tbh. He's really sweet, loves talking to the fans and gets super excited whenever one of them shows him a fanart - especially if it's an original idea
- now let's get to the best part
- as lovely and peaceful as they are on a daily basis, they turn into freakin devils on stage
- kind grandpa with a calming voice? Who's that? A goddamn satan entered the chat
- ooooh, the cat lover? Sorry, we only have a mf demon available
- don't even get me started on the Childe-Kaeya-Diluc trio--
- all in all, they may be annoying each other night and day but they still love one another like family and their bond only strengthens when they stand in the spotlight
I had this idea today and, well, it turned out like this, hope you enjoyed! I also may be doing some sort of continuation to this with Xingqiu, Chongyun, Razor and Bennett as a trainee idol group so let me know if you'd like something like this and if you have any ideas for other groups!
02.05.21
~Nana
#genshin impact#genshin impact hcs#zhongli#childe#xiao#venti#diluc#Kaeya#Albedo#genshin impact as idols#idol boygroup
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B2:S - Chapter 3
Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.
Here be Lujanne, Callum, Rayla, Ezran, Bait, and Soren goodness!
Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.
Lujanne having excellent fitness for all her walking around the Moon Nexus, and she's so energetic that Callum has trouble keeping up with her! She seems like those active grandmas who almost never stop moving, who have a lifelong supply of endless stamina. It makes me wonder if Lujanne will need that level of fitness for some upcoming conflict.
Callum feeling really hungry over not eating grubs and then still deciding he'd rather be hungry. It makes me wonder all over again how Lujanne got to the point where she eats grubs, considering that other Moonshadow elves we know of back in the Silvergrove don't. I still love my hc that the giant leech ate all of Lujanne's moonberry bushes and she's taking her revenge. Whatever's going on there, Callum is definitely not at that point yet.
When Lujanne asks Callum how he knows she's real, he thinks to himself that he'd put up with just about anything from someone who was going to teach him magic. That's a great parallel and foreshadowing for Viren's student/master relationship with Aaravos! And it's telling that neither student gets exactly what they hoped to get. Lujanne doesn't actively teach Callum any spells, because she believes he can't learn Moon magic at all. Aaravos does offer Viren power, but it takes him to some very dark places - literally and figuratively - and the cost is terribly high.
Callum sees a moon shape among the ruins, and Lujanne explains that the Moonhenge layout is an intricate rune that uses the structures themselves as part of its symbols and power. That's apparently a thing even with ordinary Moonshadow villages like Hollow Wood in the east, which is the coolest idea I've seen in a while: city planning as magic runes!
Yes, that's the same shape as the pendants Ethari made for himself and Runaan. Protection? Home? Feelsiness? A sense of safety and belongnig for all cycles and seasons?
Wonder what this Moonhenge rune stands for, then, and how much of this landscape is included in that rune. I bet it's more than we think!
But it makes sense now, how toppling the stone pillars would disable the spell the druids would cast to connect with the Moon Nexus lake. Breaking the infrastructure of the Moonhenge breaks the rune.
There's a physical sensation involved with the visuals that Historia Viventem brings up! When that one ghostly druid walked through Callum, he felt icy cold. Like in ghost stories. I really wonder about what exactly Historia Viventem is doing when it activates. It shows truth, "what really happened here?", so it must have some kind of time-related element, maybe tied to how the moon always repeats the same cycles or something. But it also seems to draw on the spirits of any living people involved in the flashback, because Callum could physically feel that wispy shape passing through him. So very interesting!
Orrr... is that all wrong, and there's something else at work with this spell than time? Maybe the world beyond life and death can act as an imprint of the things that have happened in the living world, and the spell that Lujanne (and later Callum) casts taps into that place, with perfect recall. I'm looking really hard at the sentence that says "dozens of translucent elf ghosts" and "phantom Moonhenge" and "lost in their own world" here.
Lujanne says more here than in the show about the world beyond life and death, being her mysterious Moonshadow-mage self. She says that "beyond" and "between" might both apply to where this other plane of existence is, and she doesn't much care which. With all the relativity swirling around this place, and not much in the way of empiricism, it's sounding like perhaps multiple conflicting ideas might actually coexist in such a place, allowing more ideas to fit there than we might normally believe is possible. Which is a fascinating bit of worldbuilding. Basically, every headcanon anyone has ever had about the Moon Nexus could all be true at the same time, for all we know.
Oh oh oh, Callum coming in soft with a secret wish! He takes one look at the Moonhenge and immediately thinks of finding a way to see his mom again! Poor boy, my heart! I'd say that could be another interesting parallel with Viren, but then, who wouldn't hold that sentiment?
Oh my, is this another breath of life into Ye Olde Ley Lines headcanon? Lujanne mentioning the Nexuses again, so soon after talking about the runic design of the entire Moonhenge, makes me wonder if the six nexuses are in fact giant runes. On Earth, the places where ley lines cross are called nexuses, and there are those who believe those points got marked with ancient structures, like Stonehenge and many many others. If Xadia were crossed with magical lines which naturally formed nexus points where they met, and if powerful magical runes were built across those entire areas, well. That would be cool beans, fams. Can I smack a map of Xadia and release a spell like Luz Noceda does? Because ngl that is my first instinct here.
Lujanne has got to be missing some grandkids to spoil, right? The way she's always whipping out cake and ice cream for Callum, and she's so grandma-ish about it. Headcanon about her being Runaan's mom aside, she is canonically lonely and she's very sweet to Allen and Ellis and I think she's missing whatever family she once had in the past. She may never get to have that family back, so she's finding a new one among the humans who live nearby, and I think that's sweet. Found family isn't just for the young.
But Ellis is straight up gonna be her fave, I bet, because she didn't turn up her nose at Lujanne's illusion food!
Ezran and Bait have a lot more to their relationship than was visible in the show, and I'm so excited by it! Ez can tell by looking at Bait's colors that he's not truly jealous of Zym, even if he's really grumpy about the dragonling taking up his favorite human's time.
And Ez thinking a lot about his dad and the things he's taught him. They're soft leadership material, and I love that so much! "Pick your battles" and the importance of encouragement. Ahh, my heart. Ezran, you're going to be such a good king.
But wait a second: both times that Bait gets extra grumpy in Zym's first training session, Ezran has just mentioned something about flying. Guys, I think Bait wishes he could fly, really badly. And that's his biggest problem with Zym, and with Ezran teaching Zym to fly, instead of Bait who doesn't have wings so. Bait is so old that his secrets have secrets, and I'm really curious how flying fits into them now!
Rayla, Dramatic Assassin: "I need to patrol for dark forces." That's what Lujanne called the source of the purple wisps that found them. I wonder if that's an official term all Moonshadows know, or if Rayla is just taking her cue from a veteran Moon mage. And I wonder how far Rayla is falling into the apparent pattern of "one mage, one assassin", since she does spend a lot of her time patrolling without being asked.
When Callum tells Lujanne that he was bad at prince stuff, and she asks if he didn't give up and got good at those things anyway, it's an opportunity for Callum to embrace subverting his parents' expectations in favor of seeking his own path, which is a primary theme of the show. But Lujanne is a couple generations older than Callum, at the very least, and I have to wonder what her upbringing was like. Is her version of success the one she took? Was she bad at magic once too, but she persisted? She is very soft and doesn't want to kill anyone.
Maybe Lujanne had dreams of doing something else with her life, but she felt she had to pursue the destiny that others handed to her, so she studied magic as hard as she could, and she did get good at it, but using it to defend Xadia from humans is not what she wanted to do with her life. Whether there's a parallel between her and Ethari on that point, there's one between Callum and Ethari, I think. How much of your life are you willing to let others direct for you?
LISTEN I WAS DYING AT THE EAR BREAD SCENE OKAY
This is my new favorite Soren and Claudia moment ever. Soren loves him his bread, okay. Even as earplugs for Claudia's sleep ocarina tune. The fact that it's "super effective" makes me think of a Pokemon defense. The fact that he learned it at camp, where he also learned about Moonshadow Madness, is hilarious. Later on, Corvus doesn't know Soren by name, but I still love the idea of Corvus being a kind of Strider-esque camp instructor, filling the ears of his young charges with all kinds of useful tactics like ear bread for magic spell songs (which actually seemed to work as intended), and warnings about the enemy elves' blood-themed tactics (which may or may not come back around in BH)
I thought they were gonna go in a kind of deep direction when Soren still wanted his ear bread back, but then he just. Eats them. Just noms them. I love this kid. Give Soren all the bread!
#book two: sky spoilers#book two: sky#b2:s#tdp spoilers#ToX spoilers#gloaming glade spoilers#lujanne#callum#rayla#ezran#tdp zym#soren#tdp claudia#tdp bait
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