#that isn't your experience. Shut The Fuck Up. YOU are not allowed to give anyone permission.
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"Shipping characters who've explicitly said they don't wan't a partner is aphobic"
"Well- I'm asexual and I ship-"
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!
YOU'RE ASEXUAL, YOU MORRON, NOT AROMANTIC THEREFORE YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR US.
YOU DON'T HAVE OUR EXPERIENCES, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
#when the FUCK are asexuals going to get that them being in the fucking aspec doesn't mean you get to fucking speak on the side of the#spectrum THEY ARE FUCKING NOT.#like jesus fucking christ.#look dude im an aromantic ship enthusiast so i don't necessarily fully agree with the statement made#but i DO get where it's coming from. and it always is Endlessly annoying to see fucking ace ppl saying#im ace and im okay with you shipping this character who said romance disgust them :D#that isn't your experience. Shut The Fuck Up. YOU are not allowed to give anyone permission.#oh but you wanna know what IS real fucking aphobia? whatever the FUCK the hazbin fandom has going on w alastor#he's Canonically fucking Aroace#i don't like hazbin so i don't know the character but like cmon. you cannot fucking convince me that this dude would be Love-dovey#from what I've seen from him.
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In the Beast's den
{Karl heisenberg x Gen!neutral reader}
Chapter nine: Who you really are II/II
CW: mention of child abuse!
notes: smut in next chapter! ;)
The silence is deafening as the lord of metal leads you through hall after hall towards his office. After his outburst mere minutes ago; he isn't fully sure how or even IF he should/can apologize properly. You weren't trying to hurt or leave him like he thought. You in just want to talk things out, find out more about the powerful man you're currently living with. Thoughts rush through his mind...
Is he wrong for lashing out?
Surely he was. You really weren't trying to hurt a damn thing.
But what if you secretly were?
No, you would've done so by now.
Heisenberg opens the heavy metal door to his secluded office, allowing you a second to enter before the door flies shut again. He practically plops down in his chair, his fedora discarded on the floor. His dark round glasses however, remain on his scarred face. A strange mechanism of protection he developed over the years. He doesn't want to seem vulnerable and weak with emotions, so he hides his hazel eyes or 'gateways to the soul' behind small round shades. His hand shakily reaches for an old bottle of whiskey on his desk, not even bothering to pour himself a glass he raises the amber liquid to his scarred lips and just drinks it.
His body language explains his current wave of emotions perfectly. It's plain and simple really; he's stressed. His mind whirls with regret, anxiety and guild for lashing out and even physically harming you. Granted, no lasting wound are casted on your skin, that doesn't mean that his regret isn't palpable though. After a generous amount of the amber liquid vanishes between the lord's lips, he slams the bottle down onto the desk with a heavy sigh; his eyes never meeting yours. He simply glances at the old scraps and trinkets on the old shabby wooden desk, the atmosphere thick and filled with emotion. The urge to reach out and place a hand on his shoulder is getting too strong to ignore, but last time it didn't go down very well. Despite making this mistake before, you hesitantly reach out towards the quivering lord. Surprisingly, he doesn't verbally fuss. Rather, he gently grabs your hand and places it on the desk, his larger gloved hand resting atop yours in an oddly protective manner. Still, he doesn't dare take a look at you, but something seems to be processing within his brain.
"She took me, took me away from my family... my friends... my home- I was... hell, around six?"
Heisenberg pauses, his gaze fixed on your hands slowly intertwining with each other; silver locks framing his face in the dim light.
"All i ever wanted was... normality. A normal fuckin' life, away from this shithole, away from lady super-sized cunt... away from that bitch. She took my innocence, my childhood, my dignity, my whole future! she stole everything for her stupid fucking daughter! I just like the other three pissbrains, am a 'failed experiment' to her. I never wanted any of this; not the village, not this factory, hell- i don't give a shit about my powers! I wanted to grow up, have a family an' live life like anyone else fuckin' would"
The words are filled with a venomous mixture of anger and sorrow, the raw emotion on display is another bit of proof that he IS still human underneath all the horrifying things he's done and wen't through. Despite his cruel nature, his experiments, his past, the cadou... he's still human.
Instead of interrupting his rant, you place your second hand on his; nodding whilst signaling for him to continue without worry.
"I don' remember when this happened... but I sure as hell remember the pain. that BITCH put me through more pain than any one of these stupid villagers could even comprehend. And yet, they worship the ground she walks on. If only they knew the truth about exactly what she's done do them, to us, to their families..."
Suddenly, a question fills your troubled mind... Is he showing, empathy?
"after the Cadou implantation process, she'd subject me to regular 'checkups' as she'd call 'em. She'd subject me to fire, ice... anything ye can think of. She'd want to see what the Cadou manifested as within my body. She'd throw me out in the cold, make me hold my hands over fire, throw me into a room for acting out in any little way... shit i can't remember if she fed me more than once a fuckin' week! she'd cut me, inject me with all kinds of shit which I still have no clue of... And when finally her 'experiments' came to an end, I was tossed in this factory that some old relative of mine owned decades ago. I was lonely, shit i was lonely... even that tall bitch felt bad for awhile... until I started fucking hating all... all this! That oversized vampire cunt had a life before all this... I never did! I can barely remember my mother's voice! I... I'm not even sure if 'Karl' is my actual first name..."
His words come to a halt when a singular tear rolls down his cheek, landing on his lap. A very faint sob escapes his now-trembling lips, his usual cocky demeanor now fully dissolving into what he is inside. A poor, scared little boy who just craves love. As if an invisible force is controlling you, you move forward. Your head gently leaning on his shoulder as his display of emotions causes tears to rise within your own eyes.
"I'll kill that bitch for what she did to me..."
He whispers, his gloves hand shivering and sandwiched between your own. Not even thinking about your actions; you gently cup his face, forcing his eyes to meet yours as slowly, you pull off his sunglasses. His scarred and stubbled cheek is covered in tears now, he sobs out a quiet and brief apology for his previous actions. Shit, are you really crying? Even after how he treated you earlier? But now with a full explanation on his part, it makes more sense... He doesn't know how to respond to emotions. He couldn't have learned it through Miranda, and how would he learn it when he's alone and isolated in his factory as A CHILD?!
"And I... Will help you"
You whisper whilst your thumbs brush over his cheeks, wiping away his tears as you give him a sympathetic look. Something shifts in his eyes, he seems more comfortable, more open... as if weight was lifted off his shoulders after carrying it for god knows how long. Once again as if you aren't in control of your own actions, you lean forward slightly. His eyes give nothing away other than comfort and sorrow as you inch closer, still wiping his tears before...
His hand flies to your waist, pulling you closer as his scarred lips finally make contact with yours. The sound he makes is easiest described as a grunt, unexpected, but not unwelcome. The kiss lasts for mere seconds before both pull away, his eyes silently begging for more. He takes a breath before he breaks the awkward silence:
"shit... buttercup-"
He murmurs, his lips immediately slamming onto yours again. This time around, you part your lips as a silent invitation, which he happily accepts. His rough tongue slithers out of his mouth, happily exploring your own as he wraps his arms around you impossibly tight. The sorrow in his eyes quickly is drowned out by lust and passion, his hands tightly gripping your waist as he maneuvers you onto his lap. It's obvious he enjoys this, his hardness pressing into your inner thigh. He pulls back, catching his breath whilst admiring your features.
"shit... you'll be the death of me-"
He whispers before his lips attach to your neck, gently sucking on the tender flesh, eliciting a soft moan from you. His already hard cock get's impossibly harder at the delightful sound, only encouraging his lips to suck at your pulse. Your hands clumsily reach for his shoulders for support before he bites down on your soft skin.
"I could eat you right up, buttercup~"
He chuckles against your skin, his beard adding a nice sensation to the slight sting from his sharp teeth. Before he can go any further however, you pause him:
"bed, please"
Is all you can muster before he lifts you up with inhuman strength, carrying you into towards his private quarters for a night of passion.
#smut#karl heisenberg#resident evil#resident evil village#karl heisenberg x reader#karl heisenburg fanart#neil newbon#karl heisenburg x reader#resident evil 8
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Okay I just really want to get something off my chest
(besides the useless lumps of flesh)
It's okay if a group of people makes you uncomfortable. Legitimately. Full stop. You cannot immediately control discomfort. It's an automatic response your brain has and you can't always just tell your brain to shut the fuck up. You're human and that's okay...
Because what matters is how you act on discomfort.
If someone is genuinely harassing you? like literally threatening you? if someone is actively working to harm or upset you? that shit ain't right and you should be allowed to do something about it.
BUT! Someone existing in the same room as you isn't doing any of that. Someone sitting near you on the bus looking at their phone isn't hurting you. Someone Reblogging from you on Tumblr isn't hurting you. Someone using the free public restroom at the same time as you isn't hurting you. Someone tagging something isn't hurting you. Someone laughing loudly or eating food or walking down the street or wearing certain clothes or having a certain gender or skin color or religious affiliation or sexuality isn't fucking hurting you. People existing at the same time as you isn't an overt threat.
You can feel uncomfortable. But you cannot fucking attack people just because you personally don't like them.
Case in point: I have very very rough trauma. I'm a survivor of a handful of things that I personally am not a fan of talking about. There are certain groups that make me incredibly uncomfortable and downright sick to my stomach to deal with. People of a certain sexuality make my skin crawl due to those past awful experiences. Another group that brings me vast discomfort is just. Literally mothers. There's no nuance there, people who are mothers make me incredibly uncomfortable because of things I dealt with growing up that I am still unpacking as a 28 year old.
But never once on here have I attacked anyone or even alluded to some of the groups giving me discomfort. I don't make posts talking about how those people should die. I don't call those people evil. I don't do callouts for people who I suddenly find out are parents or have a certain attraction. I have friends and acquaintances in those groups and I refuse to treat them any differently just because of that trait, because that trait has nothing to do with who they are as people.
Anyway my point is that some of y'all need to grow up, because someone correctly tagging a fandom post isn't fucking hurting you. A person shipping with characters you dislike isn't fucking hurting you. Grow up and block people, because you guys acting legitimately triggered while adamantly refusing to avoid said triggers is embarrassing as hell and really fucking irritating for those of us with PTSD.
#rian posting#wrote this because i saw That Pride Flag and realized there were some parallels.#discourse#seriously i hide and avoid my triggers so well that y'all will have no clue what group im even referring to.#so some of you could stand to at least have the grace to block people instead of just constantly fucking throwing tantrums.#villain f/o#self ship community
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Do you think Santino has any phobias? I'm kinda headcanoning arachnophobia (fear of spiders), claustrophobia (extreme fear or enclosed spaces) and atychiphobia (extreme fear of failure) for him :3. But what's your opinion?
Hi again, thank you for the ask!!
I saw a while ago that you HC those phobias for Santino, and I find the claustrophobia and atychiphobia interesting for him, it does match what we see of his personality in the movie (also, thank you for making me discover the atychiphobia, didn't know that one!).
The arachnophobia is just my favorite because for one, I have a mild one myself so I always feel close to character who experience it as well. Secondly, I just find this phobia particularly funny in fics, it opens the way for a lot of adorable scenes where a partner (John in my prefered case) comes to the rescue.
Imagine John hearing Santino scream in panic and rushing towards him thinking he's been attacked by one of his (many) enemies, only to discover Santino plastered against the wall of the room, watching a tiny black spider frozen in fright in the middle of the room. Santino would order John to kill it, but of course John doesn't do it, he does this horrible thing people who don't fear spiders do: he takes it in his hands and puts it out.
You bet Santino isn't letting him touch him for a while after that: his hands have been contaminated by the spider.
Also: when asked what was the worst thing Santino has seen John do, he would absolutely reply it was watching him pick up a spider to throw it out. Just talking about it gives him a shudder of horror.
The man can watch his lover evicerate his enemies but he puts his foot down at picking up spiders!
But when it comes to phobias, I'm not sure Santino was allowed to have any. It's the kind of things his world would see as a weakness, and I think if his caretakers (and in my mind, his father first and foremost) discovered he had any phobia, they would force him to confront them in the most fucked up way.
The claustrophobia for example, I find it really interesting because metaphorically it could express his impression of being perpetually limited in what he can do, being forced into a role that's against his nature. But if it was discovered, I think they would just shut him in a closet "until it passed". Or they would force him to touch spiders. I can totally picture Gianna forcing him to eat one when they were children, mocking him the whole time.
So, even if he has phobias, I don't think he would let anyone discover them. And more than that, he would fight them off, because it would be expected of him, because it's a matter of survival, and because he would also perceive that as a weakness himself and would try to get rid of it.
It's a hard world, there is no place for phobias: that's for common people, and he's above them.
But it would also be a sign he trust his partner if he ever let them know about them. The atychiphobia in particular.
Overall, if he had any phobia growing up, I think he wouldn't by the time of the movie: his environement would've made sure of that, the hard way.
Again, thank you for the ask, it's really fun to think about!
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What is your most controversial unpopular opinion?
oh, I have so many lmfao but I'll say the ones that won't get me anon hate 💀
1. outdoor cats
the animal welfare act in the UK dictates that EVERYONE has a legal obligation and responsibility from protecting animals within their care against "pain, injury, suffering and disease". you cannot do that if you're letting your cat out for hours on end; you're also responsible for causing the massive ecological damage that the invasive species does by killing birds and small mammals and reptiles. keep your fucking cats indoors.
2. if you're white, you DON'T get to "make jokes" about racism, even if it's to "subvert" them
it's not your place AT ALL. stop it. be normal. and in the same breadth, you do NOT get to "accept" an apology from someone who has been racist. shut the fuck up & listen to the people who are effected by it.
3. fandom isn't a "safe space" unless you're a white cishet woman
from saneism/ableism, through to racism and homophobia, fandom has lost its ability to call itself a "safe space"; given the amount of fanfic produced by white cishet women, predominantly, that relies on harmful tropes or something like 50 Shades, it's clear that if you're Black, you're not welcome. if you're queer, you're not welcome. if you're not a woman, you're not welcome. if you're Muslim, Sikh, or Jewish, you aren't welcome. fandom isn't a "safe space".
4. if you want to own reptiles, you should have a licence
I've seen it EVERYWHERE, and although the reasons range from live feeding (which is a cruel & unneeded thing!) all through to not giving animals the proper enrichment, people shouldn't be allowed to own a reptile w/o a licence as PROOF of being competent first. an animal isn't a "right", and ik from my experience w Ace in particular, that some people just want these animals for the aesthetic or for the bragging rights - NOT because they genuinely care.
5. if you haven't done any form of activism OFFLINE, then you're a cunt tbh
if your only form of activism is retweeting or reblogging stuff, then im sorry, but you NEED to do better; you should be protesting one way or another. if you're unable to attend proper protests, you should be campaigning for your local politicians to stand w you - whether that's for Hawaii, Congo, Palestine, or Armenia. whether that's for trans rights, homeless rights, or better mental health services. you should be raising awareness to the people around you in real life, you should be campaigning OUTSIDE of online. there's ALWAYS something that you can do. there's no excuse to do NOTHING but online activism. no excuse.
6. if you won't speak up abt bigotry bc of "fandom drama", you're not an actual ally.
more or less self explanatory, but like, if someone says "hey X fandom has a really big issue with saneism" and your automatic response is to NEVER speak about it, then you're not an ally! bc how is anyone from a marginalised community supposed to feel safe around you when you WON'T speak up when you can; online, you have the anonymity and the ability to walk away. you SHOULD be speaking up abt bigotry, bc if you WON'T do it online, then how can we expect you to do it OFFLINE when you WONT be able to walk away? when you WONT have anonymity?
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Ruminating
Genre: Drama: dark!bucky barnes, winter soldier!Bucky barnes, enhanced!reader
Rating: Explicit - sex, talk of death
Pairings: bucky barnes x reader
Warnings: dark bucky, the winter soldier, sex, blow job (m recieving), bad thoughts, mentions of drug use, reader has powers (vague in what they are), talk of death (winter solider’s handiwork)
Summary: Bucky can’t help but let obsessive thoughts run through his mind at night. His girl helps him out.
Note - I'm not your guardian. You read what you want. I can't stop you. If you don't heed the warnings, too bad for you, not me.
I wrote it quick and tried to beta myself. Potatos aren’t the best at editing their own work.
Ruminating
Sometimes sex with his girl isn't about pleasure. It's about letting their minds shut off for a few moments. It's more akin to a drug high - not that it doesn't feel good, but that the pleasure is a side effect.
Bucky remembers being drugged in Hydra. It wasn't always bad. When they experimented with some shit he wished he could get now, the euphoric feeling was enough to mellow him out. The thick, transparent liquid made him easier to handle, but left him lazy. To his dismay they stopped giving it to him.
"Babe?" He hears his precious doll yawn out her worry. "We're safe here. You need sleep."
She always knew him better than any other. That's why he had to keep her safe. She knew who he really was and accepted it without hesitation. She also lied to the faces of anyone who would question it.
James Barnes was a killer. And he enjoyed it.
Going overseas in the war he thought he'd die. He would never see Steve again. Never feel the touch of some broad.
Turns out the weight of a weapon in his hands was better than anything he knew. Even when Steve came to save them, he didn't care so long as he could watch someone's life be terminated via his hands.
He felt his doll stir. She moved closer to him. Her head rested near his thigh. She let out a soft breath that tickled the hair there.
"Your thinking is invading my ability to sleep." Her voice was muffled as she kissed his skin.
He grunted in response. His attention fully on her now, he watched as she kissed across his skin. He was already hard thinking about the moments the life would drain from someone's eyes because of him.
The world came to a halt when he felt her mouth on his cock. His hands flew to her hair. "Their eyes don't compare to yours." His fingers tightened around her silky locks. "They were always too weak to accept the truth. Fuck, doll-!" His mind goes fuzzy for a moment as she grabs his balls.
He wonders if she knows he's speaking about the dead he's left in his wake. She knows he can't stop his thoughts at times like this. He tries to feel bad, knowing he only allows her in his head. Someone has to keep him calm.
He pushes her further down on him. He can feel his dick hit the back of her throat, then slide beyond. She coughs. Gags when his hips snap up. He doesn't stop. She doesn't ask him to.
He can feel her saliva mixed with his precum wet his thighs and the bed under him. He chases the mind numbing feeling by using her throat to stop the thoughts in his head. It hurts her, but he doesn't care. They give and take their sadistic natures equally.
Her tiny hands squeeze his balls again. The blunt tips of her nails stings his sensitive skin. Her puffy, abused lips tighten around his cock as she gives him one last suck. It's all he needs to cum.
Some of it goes down her throat. Most falls out of her mouth and onto him. It's a mess of spit, cum, and tears all over the inside of his thighs, and his cock. It leaks down his balls and to the sweaty mess of the sheets under him. He lets her head go with a loud sigh of relief.
The running of the moisture that cools and sticks to his skin is all he can feel for a blissful moment. He's hazy. Nothing matters right now.
He vaguely notices - because he notices everything she does - that she's taken her night shirt off and cleaned her face. She kisses him on the corner of his mouth, helping him lay down. He can feel the sticky mess under him, but he can't care.
She rolls onto her side facing him. Her hand makes small circles on his skin until she passes back out. He can barely feel it. As if it's a ghost touching him. He feels foggy, dumb, and satisfied. He wonders if she did something beyond letting him fuck her mouth.
He wonders if she'd do it again.
#dark!bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barned x enhanced!reader#winter soldier x reader
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On Harry Styles' 'queer icon' status and the problem it bears
Fair warning: I went a little off the rails and this is going to be looooong. I don't expect anyone to read it, but a little forehead kiss to everyone who does actually sit through the entire thing. Mwah.
Alrighty. Let's get to it:
The past three years in particular, but also ever since 1D days, there has been many, many, many conversations and opinions on Harry Styles, his love life and his status as a so-called 'queer icon.' (I personally don't agree with that term for him, but it's what people sometimes call him, so...) People who don't know a lot about Harry, straight and queer people alike, have pointed out countless times how he is hurting and appropriating the queer community, profiting off of us, not standing up enough for us, and so forth. Those voices are almost always met with an uproar from his fandom, shouting on about how Harry does not owe his label to anyone and how he is allowed to dress the way he dresses without having to publicly claim a group he belongs to, be that sexual orientation or gender identity.
And while I do think his fandom is right to do so *to a certain degree*, I think they also quickly shut down many conversations we really should have as a fandom, as a society, as a queer community and I don't like how a lot of harries don't create the space to have these important discussions.
I think there is a disconnect in the two conversations - conversation A being what the general public and media want to say, conversation B being what the fandom wants to say - and they're both valid discussions but they don't necessarily answer to each other. I think it starts with what Harry Styles has actually *done* over the years:
This is an incomplete list of all the things Harry has *done* over the years, but they're the ones brought up most often. I will exclude the things he has *said* after having been asked about his sexuality directly because I will talk about that later. In no particular order, Harry Styles has: used gender-neutral pronouns to talk about his 'ideal' partner, very publicly grown into his sex and love life as an adult man, hooked up with various women (here: either dated them in actuality or presented himself as a couple with those women for the media), said 'female' is 'not that important' as a trait for things he looks for in a lady, experimented with fashion (starting as soon as he felt comfortable to do so/ was allowed to do so outside the band), continued to have fun with clothes and sometimes wore things that are deemed outlandish - extravagant - colourful - gender neutral or 'belonging' to the female sex - sexy (as in he has sex appeal in those clothes), appeared on the cover of Vogue wearing a ballgown as well as a skirt in another part of the photoshoot, waved pride flags that fans have thrown on stage, made various speeches about how he supports all of us no matter who we want to be, wore nail polish, wore pride pins or other rainbow items (particularly in 2017/18), wore a necklace around his neck with a banana that looks like a dick, wrote songs based on his life experiences without ever stating who those songs were about, and he has played a gay man in a movie role. So far for things Harry has *done*.
What most (not all, but most) of these things have in common in my opinion is that Harry does them without feeling the need to justify himself on it. He does what he enjoys, and he kind of doesn't give a fuck about whether there is an appropriate and socially-accepted label for it or not. Harry doesn't wear dresses to tell anyone he isn't cis or he's gay, and I don't think he wears dresses to break gender-norms and be a role model - he wears them because he liked how they looked, enjoyed how he looked in them, and it was fun. I don't think that is a crime, and I also think that cis-het men are allowed to wear dresses or nail polish just as much as anybody else in this world. If you don't agree with this, then your problem is not Harry Styles, your problem is somewhere else entirely and, quite frankly, we will never agree on this unless you change your mind because I certainly won't.
Now, I think the fundamental problem is that a lot of people are not very good at accepting people just do things for fun or that they do things that lie outside their category of 'normal, acceptable societal behaviour' without having a 'reason' for it. (With reason I mean that many people couldn't accept certain behaviour from people, but when they know that the person is gay for example, they can 'blame' it on that. I don't support this, but I've seen it happen way too many times to deny it isn't a real thing that happens all the time.) People *want* to say 'Look, Harry Styles is wearing a dress on the Vogue cover! He does that because he's gay!' This is the point where I would find it acceptable for the fandom to chime in with their conversation and patiently explain that, actually, you don't need to be queer to do any of these things, and you especially don't need to publicly label yourself as queer to do these things.
However, the general public has moved on from that and I would like to argue that they also kind of don't give a fuck about Harry's past, what he said ten years ago, or even what he said in a setting that only ever reached the fandom. They care about what is in the big media, and they care about what is *currently* happening. And they're not satisfied with the fandom's answer of 'he doesn't owe us an explanation' which is why they prod and ask until we get to the point where we also have a category of the things Harry has *said*.
To this, I want to make a petty disclaimer as a fangirl before I go further because a lot of people have used the things he has *said* as their evidence to why he is a bad person/queerbaiter/etc. but: If you had never asked him, he would have never said any of those things. If it were just okay to be himself without this incessant need for a label, you wouldn‘t have half the arguments you love to use to call him out. We know Harry isn't the best public speaker, and I find it a little vile to hold people to this level of accountability over things they said when you specifically cornered them into this corner and you *wanted* them to say something fucked up. It doesn't mean I support everything he has said in those situations, but there is a line imo that we shouldn't cross. At one point, you need to accept that he didn't have a good reaction in that moment and then move on. Okay, pettiness over.
As a huge Harry Styles fan, I have no problem admitting that some of the things he has said in those instances *were* fucked up, infuriating and purposefully misleading. I can 100% understand why he has said the things because I've been a fan for almost a decade and I know his patterns when it comes to interview replies, but my understanding of it doesn't make his answers into a good thing or gives him an excuse for them. Personally, I interpret his vagueness around the topic as many other fans do too and it means he is queer as well (or at the very least was questioning his sexual orientation at the moments of the interviews), but that still is an *interpretation* and I could end up being fully wrong one day, yeah. Maybe this is an instance of seeing the good versus seeing the bad in someone, accusing someone until proven innocent or rather giving them the benefit of the doubt. If you're wired to accuse rather than doubt, then I can't change you, as you can't change me for rather seeing the good in people. I don't think it makes your opinion superior to mine though.
I think it's totally valid for fans to defend Harry *to a certain point*. I want to emphasise the last point because I recognise that many fans also take it too far and defend him for things he shouldn't be defended for. I will never have that type of attitude about anyone, and I definitely think that that type of fan behaviour is very dangerous and problematic. Every single person on this planet makes mistakes, including my favourite artists. Their name does not - and should not - obtuse them from anything. Ever. At the same time, there's definitely things that the media likes to twist about Harry that look a lot different when you contextualise and explain them. And I'm glad the fans are doing that work because we all know Harry or his team won't ever say shit in their own defence.
I think it's also totally valid to question the things he has said, get a little angry over some things and demand a better explanation or conversation around it. Some things he has said *are* infuriating and contributing to an ongoing, harmful conversation about queer issues. That's not Harry's fault by any means (the harmful conversations I mean), but since his words do have a lot of reach, he also has to be aware of what people do with them and how they could potentially contribute to ongoing debates. Sometimes it does cause problems when he's evasive and avoidant on his own label and a lot of it could be solved if he just said it, yeah, and I think it's okay that other people get frustrated by those situations. Personally, I haven't really seen any situations where I would have said that situation has higher priority to Harry's rights of privacy and choosing or not choosing to come out, but I don't know. Maybe I haven't seen all situations either. I think what's important to remember for both sides is: There's a side for whom the situation is more important than Harry's individual experience, and there's a side for whom Harry's individual experience is more important than the collective situation. The underlying issue is not Harry himself, but rather a fundamental difference in politics, societal etiquette and sometimes also morals.
To be 100% honest as a fan of Harry's: Do I like whenever something like this happens and people demand an apology from Harry or try to cancel him? No, in all honesty, my knee-jerk-reaction is to say 'fuck off and leave him alone.' But I don't think that's very fair, so I do hear out a lot of people and read through what they have to say on the topic. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. That doesn't mean that these things should never be allowed to be talked about, even if the voices are wrong, sometimes it really is necessary to have that civil conversation to determine what's 'right' and 'wrong.' (Most of the times there isn't a right and wrong anyways.) Trampling down any voices who dare to speak up 'against' Harry with no rhyme or reason, or even not hearing the person out first needs to stop in this fandom because it's so fucked up. Dismantle the arguments that you *can* dismantle, but you also have to accept that not everyone likes Harry and sometimes he does fucked up shit.
I think both sides could profit from some nuance, and realising what they're actually arguing with. The fandom side is right in advocating for the right of privacy, the right to choose when and how to come out, and the right to do certain things without having to be queer for it. They're also right to defend Harry when the media twists his words or leaves out important context. At the same time, the media is allowed to discuss over how Harry's public appearances and interviews (sometimes negatively) shape the media landscape, how they have negatively contributed to queer conversations, or how they're not sure whether it's still okay for him to do some things without being out. Those two sides don't always necessarily reply to each other, but everyone acts as if they do and it ends up in a huge mess that doesn't actually resolve anything.
Another disconnect that I see happening quite frequently is when the media dares to publish a think-piece on the whole topic and sometimes overly blames Harry for things that aren't actually fully his fault, but rather the fault of how the general public has reacted to it and twisted it. (Think waving a pride flag for example. There's nothing wrong with waving a pride flag, even straight musicians wave them around constantly in a show of allyship and support. But when it comes to Harry, a lot of it has been twisted around so much that I've seen people demand Harry stop doing it and that he's a bad person for waving it around in the first place.) To those think-pieces, fans also swarm and demand it to be taken down because the author didn't do any research and Harry is well in his right to do thing xy. Again, that's not the argument you should have, and you're not doing anyone any favours by having the wrong conversations. You'll only turn in circles and never reach an end.
At the end of the day, I understand how emotional this whole topic can be. Of course I also get angry and frustrated when I see people calling Harry out for being harmful towards the queer community. How can a person who has helped me SO IMMENSELY in my own queer journey be hurting us? That doesn't make sense, does it?
It's a difficult and complex and maybe even harsh truth but: I think every person can do good for one person while simultaneously also hurt others. Two people are never in the same context, and in this particular case, there's two very distinct sides on opposite ends of Harry. For the fandom, his actions do a lot of good because we see a lot of him, we listen to his words that don't reach public media and (most importantly) everything we see of him, we receive in a context of other fans who love him and who get the helpful sides of him. Non-fans receive those bouts of information in a completely different environment, one where people around them get frustrated by it or misinterpret it or have someone else misinterpret his actions to use it specifically and directly against the person. Obviously that sucks and isn't in Harry's control, but I think we should also cut the people some slack who're not on the good side, and they deserve the space to be frustrated just as much as we deserve the space to be grateful and celebrate.
I can't even remember where I was going with this all, but I think the TL;DR truth is: When it comes to this topic, there's no right side and no wrong side. Both sides have fucked up, both sides have good intentions and good arguments, and both sides also talk utter bullshit at other times. And I'm kind of getting tired of it because it's the same circle-arguments just reheated every time something happens or someone publishes an article, all the while there's so many more important conversations we should have on the issue.
#harry styles#rambles#just needed to get this off my chest somewhere#im probably not making any sense lol#but I've been thinking about this for years now#hopefully someone writes a good article on it soon that can go viral and shut everyone up#at least for a little while#lets have the more important conversations and stop circling around this one
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i am turning 32 in a few days and i have thoughts about it
here's the thing yall. i'm so much happier just being an unhinged weirdo 100% of the time as opposed to making myself palatable and code switching and all of that bullshit. it's SO TIRING. you know what isn't, though? literally just not giving a fuck anymore and just. doing what makes sense in the moment.
that doesn't mean "live without consideration of others", or "live with no filter", or "be insufferable 24/7". like, there are still times where i need to be professional and shit. but what i mean is, instead of making myself smaller - it is so much better to just stick to my guns when you KNOW you know something, and to be honest but unapologetic when you don't.
stick up for yourself. if something feels wrong in your gut, say so. if something feels right, celebrate it. pursue the weird shit you aren't sure if you're gonna like or not. wasted time is time you spent saying "man i wish i did [insert new experience here] today" instead of actually just going out and doing the thing. man, my depression was SO bad for the last, whatever, three years - between being assaulted *again* and stalked and being a nurse at a research hospital throughout the roughest waves of covid, having to resuscitate my neighbors son literally like a week after moving into a new place... fuck, idk. it was just blow after blow after blow after blow and i just felt like, so super hollow.
I literally would come home, crawl in bed, shut off my phone, and talk to no one until I had to go back into work again. friends, family, didn't matter. I hid from EVERYONE and everything and tried to just muscle through it all by myself. and it was the fucking WORST. like, the darkest place I've ever been in, without question.
(real life human company brought me NO joy at all. opposite, even. i would just dread seeing or interacting with anybody at all. most of the time if i talked to anyone, it was to ?people? that weren't there. not like i was hallucinating, or delusional, i knew nobody was really there, i just. idk. it's hard to explain, but i guess if i had to give it a label ... maladaptive daydreaming?)
and now i'm at a place in my life where... yeah, i still have those days where i wake up feeling like "damn. i can't believe i have to probably keep doing this shit for another thirty to fifty goddamn years." not like, suicidal but just exhausted at the very concept of how long and arduous life is and how you just have to keep going for the sake of other people and how fucking *tiring* that is. but, i also have a lot of days where even though i feel terrible, i force myself to get up and do what i need to do no matter how i'm feeling, because if i didn't, i'd literally just sit in bed and say to myself, man, wish i had gone and done that thing today. and i guess that even if life is long and exhausting and tiring, i'd rather be exhausted for a good fucking reason.
so that's why it's so important to me these days to be all in on just pursuing ... idk. whatever seems worthwhile, even if it's hard. there's still this really unbearable, heavy sadness that i grapple with every fuckin day - but you know what makes the sadness a little duller? thinking that i did some good for someone else today, or that i made someone laugh, or feel good about themselves. and the other thing that helps is just allowing myself to feel good, even if other people don't "get" it. i will unabashedly declare my love for a fictional skeleton on main, or i will show up to the function wearing my hair like fucking Misa Amane, or i will talk to cool looking bugs i find on my walks to tell them they look pretty even if they don't know what the fuck I'm saying and I dont!!!! care anymore!!!!! doing these things make me happy! and you know what? i know, FOR A FACT, that being open and honest about how much these things make me happy... makes *other people happy too*. and also empowers them to be able to be more true to themselves!
and there's something else to that, too. the more i like myself and allow myself to be happy, the more self respect i gain - which means suddenly, taking up space in the world doesn't feel like something inherently bad or undeserved.
if you actually read through this fucking novel, thanks, but no hard feelings if you couldn't make it, lmao. i just needed a place to get all of this down.
#sams undertale#tw under the cut#tw sa#tw abuse#brief mention only but just want to be mindful#venting as well but yeah
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Tbh I think teachers shouldn't be allowed to have narrative input on students creative writing projects. Like yeah sure give grammar advice and how to make descriptions and characters more compelling but the core story should be whatever story the kid wants to tell. I use to write poetry all the time and got a few awards for it and I remember entering a poem of mine into my school's talent show. It was called 'There's a monster in the attic' and it was about fear consuming the narrator as they contemplated and fretted over this creature that supposedly lived in their attic and the descriptions of the monster get more outlandish and grotesque as the narrator goes on making it clear to the audience that the narrator has never actually seen the monster and has no idea what it looks like but harbors such a fear of it that the narrator is sure it must be this massive terrifying thing. It ends with the narrator approaching the door to the attic, hand on the door knob, about to turn it and then backing away too terrified to find out whether the monster is really there or not. because if it is he will be torn apart and if it isn't then he's wasted his life being terrified of something that was never even there and isn't that worse? There must be a monster, there has to be because if there isn't then what was all that fear for?
It's a story about trauma, particularly forgotten trauma. When you can feel the shape of those experiences weighing on you but aren't able to remember them. Your suspicions of what might have happened to you build and build and ruin your life through fear, anxiety, and trauma responses. But when you come close to remembering you shut down. Partly because knowing what happened may be too much to handle and partly because what if nothing happened at all? Or it wasn't nearly as bad as you imagined? What then? Why are you so fucked up over something that hadn't even occurred? The narrative was important to me and personal and I submitted it at the recommendation of one of my teachers. However, through this talent show we worked closely with our teachers to "improve" our acts. Ya know what advice I got? "Have the narrator open the door and surprise! It was just a cat making a ruckus in the attic" He said it would make my poem funny. I told him it wasn't meant to be funny, what the monster really was or wasn't doesn't matter, what matters is the narrators experince of the monster. I explained the allegory to him and he continued to pressure me into changing the ending. So I did bc I was a kid who wanted approval and wasn't going to fight my teacher. I felt miserable when I performed it, I knew it wasn't good, it wasn't what it was suppose to be and I never performed poetry again. I still write it but I don't show it to anyone. I'm afraid it won't be funny enough.
#thats not the only time something like that happened but it was the most impactful#like unless the kids asking for narrative input dont tell them what their story should be#bc ulitimatley these stories arent new york best sellers and its more important that the kid gets to tell their story#than you finding it interesting#stop crushing kids creative freedom#especially when it has no academic value
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masked in desperation
Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader
Word count: 6044
Warnings: Verbal Degradation. Physical Humiliation involving Din making reader wet herself. Dirty Talk. Penetrative, Non-Protective Sex (wrap the shlong before you king kong por favor). Rough then Soft Din. Don't worry, this is consensual and there is aftercare involved.
No summary because I don't even know what to call this? All you guys need to know is that this fic is based on/inspired by the following asks [x] [x] [x] [x]
A/N: Uhhh this is new for me so I'm sorry if I didn't get the dynamic involved with a humiliation kink right. Please let me know how I could correct anything should there be something off. This was supposed to be rougher...but I turned soft midway because nervous Din makes me warm. I hope you like it nonetheless though. Comments are hella appreciated. And you can add yourself to the taglist here. Enjoy and please don't @ me once you finish this fic. And I apologize that it took long, this semester was hell.
It was an act of crazed desire concealed beneath irritation and anger, irritation with you for managing to claw yourself into his heart and anger at himself for allowing you to do so freely. He couldn't deny his feelings anymore, not if he wanted to retain whatever sanity he had left around you. What started out as nothing but stress relief and a way to help with the pain left behind by Grogu leaving turned into Din wishing he could stake his claim on you every moment of every day so you wouldn't seek anyone else out. Not that he genuinely believed you would. Still...
And it wasn't like this was any different from what the two of you usually do. At least that's what he says to excuse his twisted behavior, to not dwell too much on his sick, possessive fantasies.
It was driving him mad. He wanted to mark you up, always did during those passionate nights, loved watching as you tried, and failed, to cover up his love bites and handprints from the guild members. But he also craved to feel the same way. He wanted to bear traces of you on him so people knew how much he cared for you, perhaps even recognized the hold you have on him. The only problem was, no one would ever see the angry nail scratches and bite marks you left every night on his skin because of his beskar. So this, this would do the trick, even if it was barely noticeable, even if it would be gone when he washed his beskar, even if the two of you would be the only ones who knew what happened behind closed doors.
The weird thing was, he doesn't even know how he got to this point. Well, that's not true. He can actually trace his way to this moment, but he feels ashamed to do so? Reluctant maybe. It didn't matter what he was feeling at this point. All he knew was that he needed to watch you as you humiliated yourself in front of him, and had no power to do anything about it. Perhaps it was because, deep down, he wanted to show you that he'd accept you no matter what. He wanted to prove to you that he may just be worthy of having you in his arms. He wanted to assure you that he would be committed to you until his dying breath. And this, in some way, was the solution.
Before he can reevaluate and dwell too much on his decision, he fills a cup with water and heads towards you, ignoring the Marshal's glances as he approaches you and taps on your shoulders.
"Yeah?" You turn around, and Din forces himself to stand his ground when he sees your smile growing wider as you take the water from his hand. "Oh aren't you sweet. Careful, or else they'll think you're growing soft." You tease him as you down the cup of water and hand it back to him before returning to fixing the ship. He says nothing as he walks back towards the cantina, and resumes his quiet meditation.
And that's how it goes for the next couple of hours. He brings you a cup of water every so often, murmuring something or other about how he doesn't have time to take care of you if you suffered from a heat stroke before leaving immediately. Din quietly thanks the maker for your discomfort with public refreshers, because this plan wouldn't have worked if you decided to go to the cantina or elsewhere to relieve yourself. He's locked his ship's refresher and made sure to not be anywhere in sight when you sought him out to ask about the issue with the door.
He feels himself grow harder when he notices you squirming as you work on the ship, softly palming himself through his pants when you halt your movements every couple of minutes to either cross your legs or push your hand between your thighs to attempt and alleviate some of that pain. A part of him feels horrible for putting you through this, but something tells him it will be worth it in the end. Din Djarin isn't a man of prayer, but he pleads to whatever higher power that created you that this wouldn't backfire and make you leave him.
As the twin suns slowly set beneath the sky, Din moves away from where he's been hiding and heads towards the ship, making sure he is in your line of sight as he walks up the ramp and towards his armory. He quickly takes out the durasteel cuffs from where he's set them, hiding them behind his back as he pretends to head towards the cockpit.
However, he stops when he sees you rushing past him and setting all of your tools aside. You're mumbling angrily beneath your breath when things begin to fall over, growling when you try to fix them a couple of more times, and they continue to fall.
"Motherfucking shit," Din hears you swear as you carelessly try to set the box again and it falls over. Shaking your head, you turn around and sprint past him again towards the refresher. His eyes never leave your shaking form as you push on the refresher button numerous times and nothing happens.
"Pfassk! Din, how angry would you be if I broke this fucking door right now?" You try to grab the gun on his holster but he is quicker than you, slamming his hand on your own to prevent you from taking it.
"Extremely." His answer is short and straight to the point, mostly because he can't trust himself to respond to you without giving himself away.
"God please I- I need..." You hesitate and try to remove your hand from him, only to feel his hold tighten around your wrist. He thought you'd break and confess what you needed to do due to your desperation, but you don't, holding your tongue and looking up at him quizzically when he removes your wrist and clasps one side of the cuff on them.
"Din, what- what're you doing?" You look down and watch as he clasps the cuffs on your other wrist and ensures that they aren't too tight around your wrists before he locks them. Before you can ask him again, Din drags you across the ship and into the cockpit, ignoring your annoyed murmurs as he sits down and pulls you onto his lap.
You squirm around and try to get up but Din’s hold on your waist tightens and he slides you against his beskar until you fall into his chest. He says nothing as you push away and try to maneuver yourself so your legs aren’t wide open. He chuckles lowly when he sees how much you’re struggling, finally allowing you to put some space between the two of you. You rest your back against the controls board and take a few deep breaths before you stare at him.
“Can you please let me go?” You ask patiently, and hope he sees how genuine and serious you’re being. When he sits back but keeps his hold on you, you know he isn’t going to make this easy.
“Why?”
“Because I- I need to take care of something,” you look away when you respond and Din feels his cock twitch in his pants at the sudden shyness taking over.
“How about you let me take care of you?” He takes his gloves off and throws them aside, smiling to himself when he sees you shiver as he moves his hands up and down your body. You watch him like a hawk and you feel yourself growing wet for a moment, but you realize this reaction is the last thing you want to experience in his presence right now.
“Wait Din- just...it’s not like that.” You bite your lower lip and stifle a moan when he cups your tits and softly flicks at your hardened nipples.
“No? And yet here you are melting at my touch...your body knows me mesh’la, it’s blooming for me and I’ve barely touched you. Sweet girl, don’t you want me to make you feel good? I’ve been thinking about you all day long, about kissing you until you’re breathless...and biting you until you have my mark everywhere. Don’t you want me to show you just how much I’ve missed you?” Din knows he’s not being fair but the way your eyes are glowing with lust is enough to ground him so he could carry out his plan.
“I- I do...fuck, Din- I really do. I barely think of anything else...but I really need to-” You shut your eyes and groan as soon as you feel Din’s hand descend down your chest and rest on your lower stomach. He supports your back as he slowly begins to push against your navel, watching with fascination as your face contorts from pain and pleasure the harder he pushes on your muscles. You’re not sure what’s happening for a few seconds until you manage to open your eyes and look at him. His visor prevents you from seeing what he’s thinking but none of it matters when you feel him shift underneath you before he eases up. You sigh in relief but Din repeats his actions, only this time, he’s becoming a little more aggressive with his touches.
"N-no wait please I-"
"What's the matter mesh'la? You're usually fucking me like a loth-cat in heat by now, begging for me to have my way with you...take what I want until you feel properly fucked and filled with my cum." Din leans forward, never once easing up as he begins to move you over his beskar-clad thigh. There’s not much you can do due to the cuffs and how much advantage Din has over you in terms of muscle and size so you do the only thing that’s left.
You beg.
"Please, please Din I- I just...I need to-" It takes every ounce of control not to let go of your body’s function and you realize you’re not making much sense when Din cuts you off again and asks you what you want.
"Need to what? Go on sweet girl, tell me. What do you need?" His motions become more rough as he alternates between shoving his hand against your bladder and moving your clothed heat across his thigh. Din wants nothing more than to push you to the floor and fuck you until you can’t remember anything but him, but he tries his best to keep himself in check until he gets what he wants.
"I'll do anything Din just...need the- the refresher. I'm so- so...maker, please wait-" The controls dig into your back the more you lay on them but you can’t find it in yourself to care because a different kind of pain shoots down your spine when Din brings you closer to him and hikes your shirt up. His palms are warm against your skin and you hate how good they feel because this was not how you saw the day going with him.
"You know the safeword. Say it if you want me to let you go and I will." His tone shifts and you throw all caution aside as you confess to him why you need to leave.
"Din please...I really need to pee. I- I'll come back right away but I- oh it's too much, t-too much." You think he’s going to apologize and let you go when you tell him but all your admission does is cause him to momentarily stop before he wraps his arms around you and stands up. He’s pushing you up against the wall, not caring for what you just said to him or how rough he’s being as he nudges his leg in between your thighs and resumes his antics from before.
"I know."
The curt response washes over you like ice and your eyes begin to water as soon as Din takes off his helmet and you see him smiling down at you. You don’t know that you’re shaking in his arms but he leans down and nuzzles into the crook of your neck to commit the moment to memory. He loves the effect he’s having on you and although a small part of him feels bad, he doesn’t bother or care to hold back as he brings himself flush against you, the action causing his beskar to push deeper against your navel and have his desired effect.
"Din?" He thinks your whimpers might make him cum right then and there but he takes a deep breath before he pulls away and looks down at you. He’s sure that his eyes don’t convey an ounce of guilt at the moment, the opposite actually, and it only brightens his smile as he pulls down your tank top strap far enough to give him access to the top of your breasts. Din moves closer to you and lays lazy kisses across your heated skin, all the while attempting to grab your attention so he could tell you what he wanted.
"Why do you think I kept handing you water all day ner ka'rta?"
"W-wha-?" Your sniffles pull at his heart but he knows that you’re not in any physical danger and that all you need to do is whisper your safeword and he’d let you go. When a tear drop trails down your chin and hits his forehead, Din has to pull away to take a better look at you. He hates how much he loves the way you’re looking at him right now, like he’s simultaneously a villain and a savior to your predicament.
"And who do you think locked the refresher? Sweet girl… I thought you were smarter than that." Your surprised gasp adds more to the innocence he’s seeing in you and it’s the last straw before he holds onto your waist and begins to move you across his thigh again.
"You what?"
“Go on pretty, I know how much you’re trying to hold it in. ‘m not letting you go any time soon,” Din talks down at you and if you weren’t trying to prevent yourself from embarrassing yourself in front of him, you’d think it was the sexiest tone he’s had with you yet. But it’s getting more difficult to control your bladder and even though you get the sense that he will probably win in the end, you still try to hold off as much as possible.
“Look at you trying so hard...prettiest fucking sight in the galaxy. And do you know what makes it even better? I can smell how much you want me...this tight, wet cunt is begging for my cock. You can have me sweetheart, you can have me right now if you want. But you know what you have to do.” You’re shaking in his arms and plead pathetically when he applies more pressure on your navel. You try to ask him why again but you can’t find the words and resume moaning his name as he uses you.
And that’s what he’s doing. He’s using you. Like he owns you. Like he has the right to control every muscle in your body. You’re not sure what it is that made him act like this all of a sudden and you know it ultimately doesn’t matter because like he said, he won’t be stopping any time soon. It’s just strange that he wants this. He wants you to embarrass yourself. He’s practically helping your body let loose so you could wet yourself. You try to convince yourself that nothing about this should be turning you on, but the way his eyes are hazed with lust and desperation makes you reevaluate your thoughts and you manage to look up at him as he begins to speak again.
“It’s okay mesh’la, you can let go. Let go, now! Make a mess sweetheart. Make a mess of me, I won’t fuck you till you ruin my beskar and make this ship dirty. Go on. Or do you want me to help you again?” Din isn’t sure what’s come over him but he doesn’t hold back anymore, slipping his hand underneath your pants and pushing hard on your bladder until he feels your thighs squeeze around him.
“D-din fuck...oh- my...maker I- I can’t-” You throw your head back as you fist your hands into his cowl, holding on to that last bit of self control before you’re no longer able to. As he lifts his hand and pushes again, the thread breaks and tears slowly roll down your cheeks as you frown up at Din when your bladder gives out. Din looks into your eyes one last time before his attention moves south and his jaw clenches tightly when he notices the material of your pants grow darker the more you relieve yourself.
He doesn’t bother to stop, continuing to apply pressure on your lower stomach as a day’s worth of water floods down your legs and onto his beskar. He watches with fascination as his pants grow wet as well before he hears the faint sound of droplets falling onto his ship. You follow his line of sight and whimper in embarrassment when you notice just how big of a mess you made. There’s a small puddle forming where the two of you are standing and your nervousness only grows when you see how wet Din’s pants are.
When there’s nothing left and your shaking subsides a little, Din removes his hand from you and returns it to your waist, squeezing the skin he has access to so he wouldn’t strip you and fuck you in the middle of your mess. Every time he moves his foot, he can hear the soft splashing sound of the puddle underneath him and it only makes him harder. When he finally looks at you, he’s met with the most vulnerable expression he’s ever seen on you and although he wants nothing more than to kiss you and apologize, he allows himself to go just a little further until he sees you’re no longer able to put up with him.
“D-din...you- you made me, I-”
“Oh sweet girl, I made you do nothing.” The look of shock on your face is worth the hassle and he watches as you pout your lower lip before more tears leave your gorgeous eyes.
“You’re just a filthy girl, wetting yourself in the middle of my ship and not caring how dirty you’ve become...you really couldn’t hold it in cyar’ika? Look at this, look at the mess you made of my armor. You know how valuable beskar is and yet you pissed all over it. And my ship!? Didn’t we just clean this ship pretty?” Din could feel you melting into him with every word that passes through his lips and when you look away from him, his smile falls and he quickly grabs your neck, turning it straightforward so he could look into your eyes.
“No, you don’t get to look away from me when you’ve just pissed all over yourself and me. Maybe I should change your name, call you ad’ika from now on.” He has to hold back from smiling when he sees the moment you recognize the word. He’s only ever used that word whenever he talked with Grogu and you knew exactly why he was bringing it up now. “You’re my little girl aren’t you? My filthy, pretty little ad’ika who can’t fucking control herself and marked me up like she has the right...like she owns me.” Din watches as your expression softens a bit at his last admission and he trails his gaze down your nose until he is only focusing on your lips.
You can’t help but also stare at his lips and Din uses the brief moment of distraction to unbutton your pants and slip his hand into your panties, humming in approval when he feels the wet fabric scratch deliciously at his knuckles. You gasp when you feel his fingers softly rubbing your slit and as you look into his dark brown eyes, Din slips two fingers into your wet cunt and stops.
“Fuck, you’re so wet ad’ika, so warm and wet and ready for me.” He nudges his fingers deeper into he finds the spot that makes you see stars. You know immediately what he wants to do and reach for his arms as he grows closer to you. When they begin to get in the way, Din takes hold of the cuffs and raises them high above your head until the cuffs are glued to the wall. He can’t stop from smiling down at you, all stretched out and ready to be thoroughly fucked. But he doesn’t give in just yet.
“Din it’s...you’ll get dirty. I- I don’t want you to-”
“I don’t fucking care,” he growls as he leans down and bites shoulder again, moaning against your skin when he feels your cunt clench around him. “That’s it, open up for me...let me make you feel good. I- I want you to scream my name sweetheart, scream my name as you make a mess of me. Please...I need it, need- maker...need you to drench me again.” His words twist something inside of you and you lean back as he moves his thick fingers in and out of you until you feel that familiar pressure all over again.
“Oh Din...your fingers f-feel so- so good.”
“That’s right ad’ika, only I get to touch you. Only I get to watch you come undone...only I get to wear your scent, your beautiful fucking wet scent. I- I won’t wash this armor sweet girl, not when you’ve marked it...marked me, this much. Go on, be a good girl and make a mess of me. Let me walk around with the smell of you etched on my fucking beskar.” You whimper at the filthy whispers Din breathes against you and just as you’re about to come, Din grabs your pants along with your damp panties and pushes them as far down as he could. You bite into your lower lip as he tries to push his digits deeper into you, and when you finally manage to turn and look at him, you hold your breath as you see the way he’s looking at you, into you.
“Cum for me. Now.”
The quiet order, along with the pace of his touches, breaks you and you force yourself to not shut your eyes as your pussy throbs around his fingers, a wave of euphoria washing over you so swiftly you think you’ll faint. Din momentarily turns his attention to your heat once again and he hisses when he feels you coming on his hand just as you squirt on his beskar and the floor of the ship. You’re unable to form a coherent sentence as Din refuses to slow down and your eyes water again when the hold he has on your waist becomes more painful than before.
“Maker...you’re perfect.” Din kisses your neck as he finally decides to slow down but the way he continues to rub your clit with his palm does little to calm your nerves and you don’t realize how much you’re shaking until everything quiets down and all that you can hear is the sound of Din’s heavy breathing and your own heaving and sniffling. You wince when he fully removes his hand from you and helps you out of your pants and shoes. He takes a step back and groans when he sees how spent and ruined you look as you stand on your tiptoes and try to calm down.
As you try to catch your breath, Din unlocks both cuffs and throws them aside, reaching down and grabbing your ass so he could support your weight against him. You jump on instinct and moan when you feel the cold beskar against your skin as Din grinds into your soaked heat. He doesn’t waste another moment, diving in and claiming your lips until he could feel your teeth nipping at his tongue. He makes sure he has a good grip on you before he moves to the refresher and as soon as the two of you are standing in front of it, he pushes a code into the pad and unlocks the door. You pull away for a moment to look into his eyes, the silence of your gaze knocking the breath out of him as you hide into his neck. It takes but a second for Din to realize that he shouldn’t try to push your limits any further for the night.
His touches grow softer as he carefully sets you down on the floor of the refresher. Din can see you’re shivering from the cold room and makes quick work of his clothes and armor, choosing to leave his boxer briefs on so you wouldn’t think of anything else. He leans down and taps twice on your shoulders so you could raise them above your head. As you do, you look everywhere else but him and the gesture is a little too raw for Din because as he strips you down to nothing, he’s leaning down and kissing your forehead until he feels you relax in his arms.
When he’s satisfied with your slowing heart rate, he stands up and turns on the water, making sure to stand in front of you and block you from the cold water until it turns warm. Even though he doesn’t particularly enjoy it, he turns the hot water just a little further, knowing how much you preferred it when it struck your skin.
Grabbing the bar of soap you bought from the last hunt, Din sits down and rests his back against the cold metal of the wall before pulling you towards him.
“Come to me mesh’la.” His voice is much more controlled and mellow than minutes before and you melt back into him as soon as his skin comes into contact with yours. You rest your back against his shoulder and sigh heavily when his hands begin to massage your arms. The scent of flowers hits your nostrils in seconds, making you relax even more as the soap washes away any trace of what you and Din had just done.
Din kisses your shoulder and neck as he rubs the soap on your chest and stomach, keeping his touches as appropriate as possible to distract himself from the hardening issue he was struggling with. Although he prefers you all sweaty and dirty, he makes sure to wash every inch of you, knowing that you probably needed to feel clean after...after what he’s done.
He pushes your back until you’re leaning forward far enough for him to wash your back as well. His breath hitches when he sees evidence of his touches on your skin from previous nights. Some of them have turned a light blue color while others were still purple.
Fuck. He didn’t know his grip was this harsh. He was a little guilty for bruising your skin, your lovely, beautiful, gorgeous skin. But the more he saw as he rubbed the soap over your back, the more pride he felt in his chest at the knowledge that he was the only one allowed to mark you.
“D-din…” You moan his name when he pulls you back into his chest and you feel his hands descend lower to wash your thighs. You think that he’s going to touch you where you ache for him but when he focuses on your thighs, you realize that he wasn’t going to go anywhere near your throbbing cunt.
“I’m here sweet girl, let me take care of you.” His whispers are laced with promises and affection and you’re not sure what to make of it. He’s never been this intense, this touch-starved, even this controlling. There’s something about the events of the night that tug at your heart and you wish you could ask him what has changed all of a sudden. But you don’t, instead repeating his words from earlier over and over again as he continues to wash you.
He told you, although indirectly, that you had the right to...to mark him, to own him. He begged you to drench him so everyone would know that he’s yours. That you’re his.
“Din please,” overcome with emotions, you slap the bar of soap away from him and use his surprise to your advantage, quickly turning around and holding onto his broad shoulders as you straddled his thighs.
“Ner ka'rta, we don’t have t-” Din keeps his hands to himself as he feels you rub yourself on his clothed cock. You instantly cut him off, molding your lips with his in a bruising kiss until his arms wrapped around your back. When you knew you had him, you pulled away and laid kisses across his handsome features. He was a moaning mess in no time and when you took hold of his chin and pushed it back, Din felt like he was travelling through the stars, the rough nips you were leaving across the jugular of his neck making him notice just how needy you were.
The hot water cascaded down your back as you assaulted Din’s skin and when you felt him grab your waist and begin to move you across of him, you knew he wasn’t going to deny you from what you wanted. Needed. Craved.
“I need you...now, please Din. I need to feel you inside me.”
“But-”
“Please? Oh maker, I- you said...you said you’d give me your cock if I wanted. And I do. I want you, I want your cock. I- you promised. I- I’ll do anything.” The sound of your desperate pleas sends a shiver down his spine and Din nods frantically just before you pull him out of his briefs.
“You- you’ve done enough for me cyar’ika. So so much. And I- I...oh-” Din throws his head back and shuts his eyes as soon as you lower yourself on his hard cock. He thinks he’s going to cum right then and there, but then you’re moving on top of him and squeezing him so tightly and he realizes that he needed to feel more of you. You cry out his name over and over again as he twitches against your tight walls, and when his eyes snap wide open and look at you, you can’t help but lean forward and bite into his shoulder to keep some semblance of control.
“S-sweet girl...lovely girl, tell me you’re mine.”
The short request causes you to falter in your pace but Din decides to take over again, wrapping his arms around you as he begins to move you on top of him.
“I- I’m yours Din, I’m yours. No one else can fuck me like you, n-no one can kiss me and touch me and take care of me like you...gods, you’re amazing. And you’re mine,” Din groans when he hears the last of your words and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck as you continue to whisper sweet things to him.
“You hear that Din...you’re mine. You- you belong to me, you touch only me...you, oh maker, you fuck only me. This cunt is yours baby and your cock was made for it. Made for me. You l-love only me. Right Din? P-please I’m...already so close. Tell me Din because you know...know that I love you. I love you. No one else. J-just you-”
Din is sure he might be suffocating you with how hard he’s hugging you right now but he doesn’t seem to notice because all he can hear is your declarations of love and commitment. Neither of you have ever come close to being this intimate but his earlier actions apparently unlocked something in the two of you.
You loved him. Even though he could be kinder, and was definitely too broken. You still loved him.
“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. P-pfassk...I love you mesh’la. Only you...always you.” Din comes with a cry when he feels your nails digging into his back and he growls as his cock throbs inside you until he’s filled you with his cum. But he doesn’t stop, instead maintaining his pace just to see you fall apart one last time. It’s all too much and not enough, and he’s already oversensitive from coming but he has only himself to blame considering how much he edged himself the entire day. When he hears your gasps turn quieter, he knows you’re close and slithers his hand between your bodies to flick your clit. You moan into his shoulder as you quickly peak one last time, the touch of his fingers reminding you of what he’s done earlier and in a matter of seconds, you’re clenching around him so hard to the point where you’re not sure if you’re experiencing pain or pleasure.
Neither of you say anything as you slowly return to yourselves. When Din moves to try and turn the water off, you accidentally dig your nails deeper into his shoulder and make him hiss.
“S-sorry.” The small apology does something to Din and he decides that he needs to do this now and not when the two of you are in his cot. Twisting his hand into your hair, Din pulls it back until you’re forced to look at him. You stare at each other for what feels like hours before you lean forward and kiss him. It’s much slower and kinder than the earlier kisses and you smile when Din unintentionally thrusts into you. He pulls away and returns your expression when he sees how genuine it is.
“I think I should be the one apologizing ad’ika.”
You know what he’s referring to and you think that perhaps he’s beginning to feel more guilt at what he’s done but you brush it aside with a joke so he knew there was nothing of concern.
“Not sure what you’re talking about Din,” you leave a quick peck on his nose as you rest your cheek on his chest and hug him tightly. He recognizes what you’re doing right away and decides to not fight you, instead maneuvering you off of him to shut the water off. You try to stand but your legs give out immediately. Forutrantly for you, Din is there to catch you and he ignores your complaints as he carries you out of the refresher and into his room. You watch as he brings two towels and proceeds to dry you off, handing you the other one to dry your hair. You giggle when he almost stubs his toe as he comes back with a set of new clothes.
Din ignores your comments when you ask him why he was handing you one of his long sleeve shirts instead of your own, quickly putting on a pair of boxers before throwing the towels back into the refresher. When he comes back, you’re already comfortable and warm in his bed, the sight of you sniffing his pillows causing him to think of a multitude of thoughts. He brushes them all aside when you make room for him and ask him to come to you.
As he slithers underneath the covers, you waste no time and move closer to him until you’re sure you’re touching every inch of his skin.
“Are you okay mesh’la?” Although you know what he’s referring to by that question, you don’t bring up the topic, instead nuzzling into his chest. The sigh of content you hear tells you that he’s not overthinking what happened too much, and it signals for you to do the same because even though you never expected the day’s events, you can’t help but admit to yourself that one thing which you know Din will bring up when the two of you have properly rested.
As strange and sudden as it was, Din’s treatment of you turned you on.
Translations:
Mesh'la - beautiful
Cyar'ika - beloved
Ad'ika - little one
Ner ka'rta - my heart or my soul
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum - I love you
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Pedro Pascal (and any of his characters):
@pastel-0-princess @feelmyroarrrr @libbymouse @its--fandom--darling @spideysimpossiblegirl @princess76179 @cheekygeek05 @miraclesoflove @purple-mango @freeshavocadoooo @metalarmsandmanbuns @acthenerd @greeneyedblondie44 @cannedsoupsucks @purplepascal042 @talesfromtheguild @f0rever15elf @vibin-hippie @onesmokinbabe @leaiorganas @words-way-of-life @kideyz @lovesickmadsadpoet @niall7inches @rosiefridayrogersunday @tati-adventures @sleep-tight1 @itsfreeekinbats @cybergroupie @marsplsstop @ezrasbirdie @diogodxlot @janebby @juletheghoul @bii-aan-ckaa @nohartandsole @djjarins @lamelyssher @giselatropicana @pescopadral @blackmarketmummy @laviipopii @ew-erin @fan-of-encouragement @melody13522 @clydesducktape @planetariumx @sambucky21 @thirddeadlysin @leannawithacapitala @fangirl-316 @thou-creature-of-the-deep
Din Djarin: @a--1--1--3 @tanzthompson @mrs-ghuleh @caitlynmarty
#din djarin x reader#din djarin/reader#din djarin smut#the mandalorian x reader#the mandalorian/reader#the mandalorian smut#pedro pascal#din djarin#the mandalorian#mando#mando x reader#mando/reader#humiliation kink#degradation kink#peeing kink#i don't even know what to call it#someone help#pedro Pascal
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Alright, so notice. Most of you probably know this, since you're following me for the Autistic Levi stuff (thank you, we're closing in on 100 followers!!!!), but people with autism can have "tantrums". I've kinda touched on this in a previous post (it's a full meltdown, but you can see that post here https://www-artforoddballs.tumblr.com/post/644803780958879744/autistic-levi-angstkinda-i-guess-this-is-him). For those of you who DON'T know, an autistic tantrum is not the same thing as what you'd think of in regards to a toddler or kid, it's just the word used for it. This is a mistake my mother and I made when getting the paperwork done while I was going through testing that later got cleared up lol
I had a tantrum yesterday, and so I figured that I could post about Leviathan having a tantrum, since it's still ready on my mind. I don't care if anyone else is proud of me for coping with it as well as I did, since it's a major improvement from last time I had one, but I am proud of myself!...with that in mind, here we go!!
There will be some angst in this post, like the last post in relation to this one, but like the last post, it turns out fine.
However.
Trigger warning for things such as self harm, both physical and verbal. If you or a loved one is self harming, either reach out to someone for help or reach out to that person to help, yeah?
OK on with the post.
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First of all, Levi's autism is part of why his brothers always agree to help when there's a raffle for tickets or something like that on the DDD messages, because he can get overwhelmed if they don't at least help, even if he doesn't win in the end.
They figured out that his autism was the culprit for this shortly after his diagnosis.
Now when I'm writing for Levi, I like to think that his diagnosis was around the early 1990s since, while autism was a separate diagnosis in 1980, it didn't really start becoming fairly accepted and expanded upon until 1987. Hence why everyone is mostly used to it by now, but are still sometimes off put by his odd behavior; for them, as beings that have been around since...the beginning of the universe, pretty much as far as we know, but for at LEAST since humans were around (so at VERY least 2.5 million years now, but potentially up to around 7 million years (if they haven't been around since the beginning of creation)), this would be like...I dunno, give me a second.
Waiting
Waiting...
Okay, so from 1990(earliest year I have in mind) to 2019 (the year it was released) is 29 years. That's a minimum of 1/86,206.89th of their lifespan, and a maximum of 1/475,862,068.96th of their total lifetime.
So this is a VERY recent development for them on the grand scheme of things, but I digress.
So they're still figuring everything out, especially as the human race continues to learn about the condition itself.
So the first time Levi threw a tantrum and they recognized it for what it was...it was certainly interesting.
What had happened was exactly the situation described; Levi had wanted to go to a concert in the human world and they were raffling off free tickets. Except, unlike now, his brothers hadn't offered their support. They hadn't in the past, why would this time be any different?
Except now they viewed it through a different light. Leviathan had an image in his head that he desired so badly and had asked his brothers to support him, hopeful, only to be rejected at every turn. That he was used to, but it was still upsetting.
He put that to the side, though. He really wanted to see this band, and these were VIP tickets where you got to hang out with the band for a few hours after the concert! They'd cost a LOT of human money, and while they COULD afford it, he knew Lucifer would be bringing hell down upon him if he used that amount of family funds on a concert. And his anxiety was already somewhat raised, so he decided to enter the raffle on his own.
He sat there for hours, waiting for the results to come in. He'd hyped this up in his brain the entire time; He'd win, go to an amazing concert, have dinner with the band, maybe even make some friends....!...and then the results came back. He hadn't won.
As per usual, our snek boi went into one of his rants about how unfair it was, but instead of going on a rampage or something like that, locked himself up in his room and cried, hating himself for getting so excited over nothing.
As I mentioned before, I've made another post about a tantrum/getting too overwhelmed slipping into something even more dire, as that's almost always what happens to me. This would be in the 90s, so this would be their first real incident with one of these moments where they had the proper diagnosis, so bear with me, there will be some angst here, but like the other post, it'll be fine.
So Mammon ends up feeling bad for rejecting his little brother, and, not knowing it was too late, decided to go to his room and offer his support. It was almost Leviathan's birthday anyways, and Mammon knew how rejection felt and how much it sucked. So, he knocked on Leviathan's door.
No response. He knocked again...still no response, but a quiet sob.
Right away, Mammon switched from semi-carefree to worried. "Levi...?"
Again, no response. He decided to just go in and check on his brother...
The door was locked. And he smelled blood.
"Leviathan, I need you to open the door," Mammon said with a half hearted chuckle, his voice now becoming slightly strained. "Because if ya don't, I'm gonna have t' break the door down."
"Just go away!" Leviathan cried from inside his room. "Just leave me alone, you jerk!"
"I ain't goin' anywhere. Either open the door or I'm gonna break it down. Those are your two choices."
A moment of silence, before Mammon sighs, stretching, as he transforms into his demon form.
"Alright, option two it is."
He rammed into the door repeatedly, before the wood finally splintered and fell to the ground with a loud thud. Mammon quickly looked around, eyes widening as he saw Leviathan digging his own sharpened nails into his arms, multiple raked wounds, made by the same culprit, carved into his skin.
"Levi...look at ya..." Mammon said, voice faltering, tears welling up in his eyes. "I...how long has..."
"Just shut up! Don't act like you care about me, I'm the freak of our family, remember?! I'm the one whose brain isn't right, I'm just a shut-in, good for nothing, re-!"
He was quickly cut off by Mammon going to him and hugging him.
"I don't care who you are. You talk about my brother like that again and I'll kill you. Alright? You're a little off, but you ain't a freak, and your brain works just fine as is. You're perfect just the way you are, and if anybody else says any different, I'm gonna beat them the fuck up. Including you. Got that? So what if you've got that fancy lable on ya now...? Labels like that matter, but it didn't change ya. You're still my cringe, annoying as hell little weirdo of a brother...and I wouldn't have ya any other way."
Leviathan fully listened to Mammon talk, before clinging to him, breaking down sobbing again, and trying to explain what happened through his tears, the older demon gently rubbing his back and allowing him to cry it out, making sure no more harm was done.
A while later, once Levi had calmed down, Mammon ruffled his hair.
"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Lucifer is already gonna kill me for breaking your door, but he'd be even more pissed if I just left you here with those wounds."
So they did. And Mammon, after telling a VERY angry Lucifer what had happened hours later, had surprisingly NOT gotten chewed out by the eldest brother. Instead, that day, the entire family had a long discussion, and they all agreed that if it was something as small as entering a raffle, or even if it was bigger but not an inconvenience to anyone in the slightest, they'd all help out from then on. It's not like it was hard, and it would save Levi from hours of stress and negativity toward himself and others around him.
They also made a plan for if a tantrum were to happen while someone was around, or if he became too overwhelmed and started to spiral...because, as annoying as he could be, Leviathan was still family. And they loved him, oddities and all.
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Alright, so...that was the post! I hope it was okay. I know I've written about this type of thing before a little, but different situations can end up with the same negative outcome, like being in an overwhelming situation, or not being able to change your thinking and not easily being able to get over your expectations. I've personally suffered with both, and it's a regular thing for me, so I like writing about it, because maybe, just maybe, it'll help someone out, or help someone that isn't autistic understand a friend or relative or classmate or employee better. And I love these characters, I really do. The only ironic thing is that I see so much of myself in Leviathan, but I adore him and despise myself. Go figure 😂
Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and if there's anything you guys have questions about (in regards to me and my experience), or any specific writing requests, asks are fully open!
Thanks so much for being here to support me, you have no idea how much it means to a little oddball such as myself.
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me leviathan#obey me belphie#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#autism obey me#obey me autism#obey me neurodivergent#neurodivergent#leviathan autism#autism#headcannons#obey me hcs
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Summary: The so-called chemistry between you two is superbly deadly, so why not take it to the next level?
Pairings: Testurou Kuroo x fem!reader
Word count: 5.3k
Tags, Genre: fake lovers! trope, slight angst
A/N: 🤺 stay back🤺feelings🤺
Maybe you should've disagreed on the 10th time or maybe the 8th or 11th?
Honestly, there was no stopping the couple of the year.
"She didn't really say yes at first but with a little push of love she finally did." Kuroo comments, a drink in hand as you smiled against his side, with his arm around you.
"Please, I didn't need a push. I was too in love with the dumbass to say no." Your relatives practically awe at your comment while Kuroo kisses the top of your head, as you smile to sell the deal.
"What are you guys planning on after you graduate? I hope you two continue to stay like this." One of your relatives says as you both recall the plan.
"Moving in doesn't sound so bad, right babe?" He asks you while you sip your drink, feeling his hand slide down to your waist while they cheer at his dialogue.
"I wish young love looked like this when I had it!"
"Y/N is so lucky!"
"Tetsu is the best man for Y/N!"
Sighing with pain to your gums, you spoke.
"Excuse me, I'm just going to refill my drink. Coming babe?"
"Of course, bub." He says before excusing himself as well, while he walks away, his hand loses contact with your waist knowing there wasn't a sight of anyone else in the kitchen apart from you and him.
And cut.
"I thought our fourth line was that we would take things slow—what you said was literally our fifth line, Tetsu. It's too early." You say as you actually refilled your cup as Kuroo sighs but he smiles, leaning on the wall looking at you.
"Well might as well go all out, I'm not an actor for nothing, babe." You sigh as you drank as Kuroo pats your hair, after a sip, you let out a chuckle.
"Actually, their reactions were everything." You say as Kuroo smiles before setting down the cup on the table.
"Did you see your grandmother? She's going to beg you to wear her wedding dress now." He jokes while you shake your head, denying the offer.
You introduced your relatives to him last year, he was thankful that you trusted him this well to get this far in your family. You hated how they fell into this little trap of yours but it was still entertaining to see them act like this, even if guilt trailed alongside it.
"Seriously, do we go over line 5 now?" You asked with a slight smirk as Kuroo intertwined his hands with yours, with the other ready to open the door.
"We'll see how our audience reacts first, babe."
-
"You did not— you guys are taking this too far. How are you feeling?" Yaku asks through the phone as you bit down on your finger as you tried to come up with another excuse to why you keep allowing yourself in this position.
"I'm fine Yaku seriously! Me and Kuroo are staying at this hotel because of the whole family event earlier." You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the stress set in that you were actually sleeping in the same room as him.
This faux relationship has never led to this point. Kuroo has asked you for permission in case he were to kiss your cheek, hand, or forehead and you allowed yourself every time because this is what you got yourself into in the first place.
You agreed because it didn't bring your heart leaps of excitement—not even a sight of a butterfly in your system.
No matter how many times he's held your hand or planted a kiss on your temple, it didn't feel like Cupids touch— the arrows of love purposely hitting you in the wrong places. You initially thought that it was actually risky, to find yourself falling sooner than expected but a year into this 'relationship' you actually enjoyed the experience without having your heart miss a beat because of it all.
Your bond with Kuroo can only be described by the words bickering and platonic. Because of the way you interact with each other and how you constantly visit each others places, everyone could see where this friendship could end up so you took this advantage just for people to avoid the both of you which turns out to be the opposite, now everyone wanted to dig themselves in the news that you actually got together.
"Y/N- Kuroo please explain your work here on the table." You had your experiment carefully in your hands as Kuroo guides you to the table as you went on with your explanation. The teacher was well impressed with the two of you with how prepared you are, you can thank Kuroo for that and your ability to act like you've got your shit together.
"This is why we-" You two said it in sync making the two of you stare at each other as Kuroo chuckles continuing the explanation while you were left to stay silent with the glares from the girls who admired him—and the boys who liked you sent their threats to Kuroo just by glancing at him.
"Thank you, good job you two. I see that chemistry suits the both of you." Your teacher comments and as you walked away you rolled your eyes, disgusted at the corny joke.
"It's working too well actually."
Someone shut him up. You think as you felt the urge to give him a punch to shoulder. Kuroo was dragging more attention to the two of you and you hated it. You knew they were all jokes from your classmates but Kuroo kept feeding and responding to these claims, now you were the center of curiosity.
"Tetsu, I will shove a foot down your throat." You threatened when you were back to your chairs he shrugged making you more irritated.
"It shut them up didn't they? Let's fake it instead." He suggests, now making you slap his arm but his smirk remained on his lips.
"Dumbass, we'd be surrounded with questions and attention- I hate this idea already."
"What about the free couple food and drinks at the mall? You don't wanna experience that?"
"You are not using that card on me, Tetsurou." You said pouting as your chemistry teacher sends a suspicious eye to the both of you, also signalling for you two to stay quiet.
"I know you and you know me well enough that this isn't gonna lead into an actual relationship plus my dad has been bugging me about a girlfriend for weeks." You sigh as Kuroo extends his hand to you, to finalize this outrageous deal.
Looking at where you are now, you wouldn't have it any other way even if it was odd to fake date your best friend. You wouldn't agree if you didn't trust Kuroo to an extent. He would never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, he dragged you into this so he was always careful with his actions. It was always your feelings before his even if his jokes didn't show it.
Kuroo enters the room with a yawn just as you ended the call with Yaku. You patted the space next to you as he plops down on the bed, his head on your lap as you ran your hair through his dark locks.
"Is my boyfriend exhausted from the attention?" You asked him with a giggle as he closes his eyes, in a trance at your fingers doing him magic as you continued.
"Isn't that the girlfriends job to comfort me?" He says, making you smile. There really wasn't any meaning to his words, you were glad that the two of you were sure that everything is a joke. If not, then maybe you two are absolutely fucked.
"Is it okay for you to sleep here? I can always drive us home if you want." You shake your head no as you leaned your back in the soft pillow, relaxing a bit.
" 'S fine, Tetsu. Looks like we're gonna have to sleep here for a while huh?" He sighs before sitting up and leaning on a pillow as well before planting his head on your shoulder, his hand comfortably resting on your knee. It was a habit he had whenever he comforted you in your sorrow but it grew when he does it under the table when you sat next to each other.
Kuroo denies that he's doing this because he just wants to feel close to you. He may be in a sea of people but if he holds onto you, he forgets them in a second. There's always a possibility for him to feel lonely in a crowd but this feeling washes away when he has a chance to feel you around him.
"Tell me if somethings wrong yeah?" He says softly as you nod and he leans to your body more, feeling drowsy at the warmth you gave.
"I do find you annoying, that's a problem right there." You joke as he rolls his eyes and pulling away from you and transferring to the right side of the bed.
"Good night then." He says stubbornly, covering his ears with the pillow while you laugh before going to the right side and drowning in the blankets.
"Night, Kuroo." You bid him as you turn off the lights.
-
The next morning you really wished you didn't give in to him.
Tangled in each others arms, the blankets scattered everywhere as Kuroo was snuggled into your neck when you woke up. It's difficult to move without worrying about him waking up, so you had to move little by little. First, you slowly remove his arm that was on your waist. Second, you tried to rest his head on the pillow instead of you. Third, you scurry away from him successfully.
All of these were disregarded when he pulls you back into his arms, mumbling something while you mentally groan. Kuroos fingers continued to gaze itself on your skin while you sighed, accepting it as it is.
"Tetsu-"
"Five minutes." He whispers not minding the state he's in. He moves away from you when he realizes the sleepiness in him has faded. He stretches, making you stand up and fix your appreance. He sits up after a few seconds and you turn to look at him and his bed hair which never fails to make you laugh.
"I don't allow bullying this early." He says as he throws on a proper shirt. You decided to fix the bed while he brushes his teeth.
"Tonight's the party right?" You asked him as he nods before spitting out the residue of the toothpaste. You went through your bag plotting out the outfits you could wear later. The event was a wedding week of your relatives and it was also an opportunity to set out your weekly episode of a relationship.
It's currently Saturday and the wedding is tomorrow. Tonight was basically a party for both sides of the family. One for the bride and one for the groom. You gave Kuroo a fair warning about their traits when they were drunk but you guys are third years—you've seen how people acted when they were intoxicated.
"Should we just drop line 6?" He jokes, making you throw a pillow directly to his face.
Let's do a role call on these lines.
Line 1 was the backstory of your lovestory. Silly as it may come to others, all these excellent lies were planned beforehand. Each and every one of them. To the date where you confessed, to the exact details on each memory, to the date you officially started dating and of course it included the story that Kuroo has told one too many times already, like a script he remembers with no trace of mistake.
Line 2 were the filler memories. Random come ups of dates and embarrassing stories to grab their attentions in each gathering. Though, this line is the most truthful then the rest. Some of these stories are actually true to life but those that are too romantically disgusting? You can thank your imaginations for that.
Line 3 is the talk of seriousness. Love has actually blossomed by then. It consisted of stories of who said "I love you" first and who actually fell first in the relationship. Mentions of what moment made them realize how in love you were and precious memories that could make everyone long for a companion like yours.
Line 4 is fake maturity at its finest. Why not look like the perfect couple there is to exist? This was sort of a pit stop in your 'relationship'. This is where Kuroo narrows down the pace of you two by throwing some lines like "We're too young to decide for something that big." And "We never know what happens in the future."
Line 5 is moving in with each other. God, you even looked for proper apartments just so you don't mess up a question. You were graduating after all so it was inescapable to talk about your upcoming plans together.
Line 6 shouldn't be used. That's talks of marriage and god— adulting. You two inserted this line as a mere joke knowing once you've gone through college, all these lines would simply disappear because they could never ask about you two anymore. If parents loved something about couples, it's the talk of marriage. Luckily, you and Kuroo hate the topic and simply agreed that this should be avoided at all costs.
"Never." You say as he hands you the pillow you threw before setting it back on the bed. You share a look to each other while you head out of your room to meet with his family.
Hours later, you got distracted in the sensation of his hands intertwined with yours.
Kuroo has subconsciously done it again. Underneath the table, swiping his thumb on the palm of your hand while his expression doesn't even show the slightest bit of interest in what he's doing below. Occasionally, Kuroo would send you a text on how boring the conversation was going so you'd bring up a topic for the both of you.
"You ok?" He asks while you smile at him before leaning your head on his shoulder, suddenly exhausted with wondering about him.
"I'm fine, babe." You say while he forgets the noise in the background. The nickname slipping of your lips so easily, even when you didn't need to call him that.
"Wanna go back to our room?" That was what you wanted anyway but was it rude to walk out of gatherings like this?
"Is that fine with you?" You asked looking up to meet his eyes.
"As long as your okay." He says, making your heart give out a pocket of panic.
You stood up with him following behind you. He was genuinely concerned with you so he catches up to you, slinging his arm around your shoulder bringing you close to him.
"Thanks, Tetsu." You bid him as he opens the door for you. You lied down on the bed as Kuroo sits beside you.
"You sure you're okay? I can tell them that you can't attend the party if you're sick."
"I just got really bored and distracted back there. I'm sorry if I made you worry." Kuroo flicks your forehead with his finger making you say "ow."
"Stop saying sorry, dumbass. You're my priority either way."
Stop. No. Never, remember? You think to yourself.
"Is it because I'm your 'girl?' "
"You've always been my girl, what are you talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow at you while you hit him with a pillow, confused to why your cheeks became warm at his statement.
"Oi, what was that for!" He says before throwing a pillow at you as an act of revenge. Still flushed from earlier, you threw another pillow at him. You couldn't even respond to him without telling your heart to calm down.
"You know what? Let's just watch a movie to pass some time." You suggested taking your laptop while Kuroo stares at you, bewildered at how swift your mood changes.
"Women confuse me. Especially you, god- you remind me of Bokuto. Now scooch over, lady."
-
I really am lucky.
Kuroo thinks to himself while he watches you twirl around the mirror for the 5th time just to temporarily assure your insecurities.
Your outfit fits you like a glove. Hugging every curve of your body, the fabric decorating you with its design. Shades of dark colors on your eyes and a tempting lip color that drives Kuroo insane with this new found thought.
"Before you can ask me, you look amazing Y/N- I don't think that's enough to describe how you look tonight." He says, almost out of breath. You quickly get flustered, turning to notice his outfit. Eyes daring up and down, taking in every bit of the stunning middle blocker.
"Hopefully I can remind you that my eyes are up here." He takes a step towards you, inches away from your nose as he studies your appearance. You just stand out, like a star blinding him. Dangerous as it is, he stares the longest at your lips.
"Y/N? Honey, our ride is here! Tell Kuroo that the guys are looking for him as well!" Your aunt shouts making Kuroo step back, not wanting a problem to surface upon the deal.
"We can meet here at 10pm if you ever feel bored okay?" You nod at him as he places a kiss on your forehead.
"Noted." You said smiling at him, you honestly forgot to thank him for the compliment but the way your eyes danced around him gave him an answer already.
"I'll see you in a bit."
-
Kuroo feels the need to step out of this party. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy the stories of your uncles but this wasn't a circle he could fit into. Sure, the karaoke was humourous to watch but there was a need for him to be alone with you instead.
So, he dials your phone.
"Kuroo? What is it?" You asked him, escaping the noise of your aunties laughing as you went to the balcony.
"Just checking in on you, you good?"
"Is this a signal that you wanna leave babe?" You said chuckling, Kuroo smiles while he stands up to meet with your relatives to bid them goodbye.
"Sadly, yes and you?"
"I'll be there."
Few minutes passed as Kuroo got to your location. He couldn't allow you to commute when you looked that stunning, he was there to keep you safe at all times so you spent your time with silence in a cab back to the hotel. Kuroo didn't wanna talk about the party because he felt too drained to do it.
He takes his jacket and places it on your shoulders while you pull them closer to your body.
You two were seated on the bed while Kuroo removes your heels and setting them on the floor next to your other pairs of shoes. After removing them, you travel to the kitchen and sit on the sink as you drank water. Kuroo follows you with him beside you, leaning on it.
Why is it so quiet? You wondered.
Usually, Kuroo would make remarks or just bring up a conversation with you but you two just sat there with thoughts lingering around each other. While you set down the glass, Kuroo sets himself between your legs making your eyes widen while he sets his hands on either side your hip.
"What's on your mind? You do know that your silence is too loud for me." He says stroking your sides, making you trapped in a heated moment.
"Tetsu-"
"You've been off all morning. What's going on, Y/N?" He asks with sincerity. Ever since breakfast, all he's noticed is how your eyes never dared to stare back at his. How fidgety you were with his hand in yours, the way you'd gaze off into a state of thinking for a few seconds and your hands would feel cold compared to his.
"I- I don't know." You said honestly. There was a block in your mind and your heart. You couldn't notice how you were acting because there's a certain discussion that you unintentionally avoid. Was it the panic Kuroo set your heart in? Is it the way his skin on yours makes you wanna melt?
Was it the butterfly fluttering in you when he said you were his?
"Maybe you're just falling in love with me." Kuroo whispers leaning his face close to yours. God, he was joking. He should be but with his body moving without his system functioning before his orders, he was doomed already.
Unexpectedly, you leaned closer.
You could feel how Kuroo held his hand firmer to your hip while he continues to take away the centimeters in the space you had left. Tilting his head, his lips were impeccably close to yours, threatening you with how you wished they'd be on you already.
But what if I am?
"Isn't that part of the game?" You whispered back, as he steps away. The moment washes over him making his knees almost give out at what he just wanted to do. You sighed as he walks away, leaving you stranded in a pool of questionable feelings.
Your hearts were screaming. What foolishness did you insert yourself in? Kuroo felt like he shouldn't have walked away and chose the fatal move by kissing you the way he always wanted to do but he had to avoid the tightening of his chest.
No one can win in a battle of temptations, especially when your lips were calling his name.
You removed yourself from the sink while you entered your shared bed seeing Kuroo tucked in the sheets, obviously hiding.
You hopped on the either side of the bed with a sigh as you tried to silence out the voices in your head.
I don't want to be in this with you anymore.
-
It wasn't a surprise to see the left side of the bed empty. The moment you woke up, the both of you weren't ready to converse what happened last night, especially the middle blocker. It was his move and you couldn't even manage to move on your own after it. Now what surrounds the room is unresolved tension.
You finally got out of bed, stepping into the bathroom to brush your teeth, locking the door to leave you at peace with your mind. You decided to take a shower knowing the time of the wedding.
Kuroo comes back from grabbing your breakfast. He sees the impact of what happened last night. It was his fault for leaving without explanation now he has to endure the coldness of it all.
He hears the water running so he leans his forehead on the door, his heart wanting nothing more then for everything to be the way it was before.
"If only you knew." He whispers before gathering his tux for the event, sighing to himself.
When you walk out with a towel on, hair dripping droplets, he turns away immediately while you felt the frustration grew in how he was acting.
During your shower, you chose to base your actions with your brain instead of your heart. It can never lead you to proper decisions. Kuroo was making the situation worse—you had expected him to act like nothing happened the next day, maybe then things would have been easier.
"Have you eaten breakfast?" You asked him while he gives you a nod.
Speak to me please.
"I'll go get ready then." There was no point in hoping for a response from him and you grew tired because of it.
His mouth couldn't agree with his mind. He was caught up on if he wanted to apologize or act like nothing happened. He couldn't read your emotions properly even if he feels like he should 'cause if not then this going to grow into something you could both hate.
He's in between of thinking if you want things to be 'normal' or if you want some sort of explanation from him. He also feels like you'd escape the conversation seeing that you leaned in as well, which surprised him. He just can't face it, he can't bring up the words to express how right it felt even if it was wrong.
Still, both ways has his heart still long for you. The regret hasn't died in his body and he wishes it would.
"What time do you think they'll take us to the venue?" Your voice makes him awake somehow, he turns to see applying your makeup in the dress that the bride suggested you'd wear. Just like yesterday, he was struck again. The way the white stood out with the faint details of the dress had you glow like a star he wishes on.
"I don't know." He responds, he fell short on his words and there was still a clear state of hesitation that follows him.
You were fueled by him, yet this fire couldn't be held back.
Kuroo sees the way you drop the brush, leaving a sound echo through the silence he made, the way your heels clicked when you walked right up to him, a weak feeling setting in him knowing your stare was digging holes in his head as he looks at you.
"I think you're forgetting that you moved first."
You say, making him sweat under the confrontation but you let your words show how he managed to place your heart in your hands.
"So why act like we didn't want the same thing?"
You had him stunned. There weren't proper thoughts that ran in his mind, some parts of him still bringing him back to what happened last night and the other wanted to look into the future which was looking unsteady.
"We wouldn't want to ruin our deal, right?" His tone was laced with a threat. He couldn't even set his decisions right. Just blurting out words he thought was enough for the both of you.
"Kuroo, that wasn't an act." You argued making him crumble with another mistake in his response. You both felt it and there wasn't a way to act all blind to it. You were aware and admitted it to him face to face. That was the confirmation he needed to get his heart removed from its knots.
"Y/N-"
You step closer to him, a firm finger on his chest while your eyes stayed on
"If the show is more important to you, then let's call it like nothing happened."
While you give a push to his chest, you turned your back to him hoping it'd make him walk to you and tell you his genuine feelings.
But your heels lead you away from him and his feet remained glued to the floor.
-
They say weddings brought people together to celebrate love.
That is- the love that circled between you two is an experiment you'll never understand.
As you went to the wedding, everyone looked at this perfect couple who radiated silent rage with each other.
Kuroo feels the sting in his heart when you were forced to hold his hand and stick around him. Your voice portrayed it so easily- like this role of being his girlfriend was a reflex, something that you know by the back of the hand.
Meanwhile, he's forgotten his lines.
His expressions, the nicknames guardedly falling off his lips, the shaking hands that roamed around your waist, he was falling apart.
Suddenly, forgetting his role and searching for the script of reality.
Everyone can see it. The way you smiled and tried to avoid questions of why you both seems so close but feel so distant with each other. You'd laugh it off or change the topic to the lovely couple instead, even the bride could sense it.
While the ceremony begins, Kuroo couldn't stop looking at your direction. How could he not when his eyes loved the sight of you? Disregarding the tone of your voice earlier that scared the wits out of him, the way you strutted in that dress of yours still had his heart held captive.
Meanwhile, you kept your eyes busy by trying to focus on the couple. If you didn't control yourself, you would drown in him. Did that tux really have to be perfect in him? The way his hair was actually swept back with gel, exposing a new level of attraction for you.
For a second, Kuroo looks away knowing you'd never look his way the same way again.
And Cupid was sure to hit you right this time.
"Honey, you've shown me love in ways I never knew you could do. At first, I was scared. You know me- love is a deadly road but you drove me to the safest place. Love is scary but with you— I'm willing to fear it as long as I'm yours." The bride vows making some of your relatives form tears in their eyes at the beautiful choice of words.
You bit your lip, finding it ironic how it fits you. You were sure as hell scared. Knowing Kuroo and having to experience a bond with him and it could all end because of a mere kiss. You weren't ready to lose, both in love and in this level of fate.
"I've never said it before but I was scared too. It doesn't show- I know. Losing you is something that haunts me for the rest of my life, it's cliche but what's love without you? Even if I'm having some trouble in saying it, I love you and I don't think I can ever lie about that." The groom says while the bride wipes away her tears, fanning her eyes.
Didn't that just took the words right out of Kuroo?
He gulps, looking at you as you also turned to look at him. An antsy feeling settling in your bodies, the number of butterflies swarming around you was increasing with every word that replays in your minds.
Minutes pass as the newly married couple kiss, making you both awaken at the sound of cheers from your relatives. You stood up from your seat, joining the crowd as they watch the two walk down the path smiling at each other.
Kuroo was on the other side, joined by your male relatives while you were on the side with your aunties. Both of you were tremendously nervous. You decided to avert your eyes on the bride as she readies herself to thow the boquet of bright flowers.
You sighed as you decided to walk away but destiny tugs on your motives.
Time slows down as the boquet thrown in the air was circling around while they all watched on whose lucky hands it lands on. They all tried to reach it, believing in the myth that surrounded it.
Dropping an item from your bag, you bent down to pick it up but what made your eyes widen was the sight of the fallen flowers in front of you and everyone that surrounded you, disappeared in your mind.
Picking it up slowly, the boquet resting in your hand as you admired each flower but your heart was struck like an arrow hittings its target point.
Kuroo held his breath, clenching his hands as he stood there.
Giving one last glance to the boquet, your eyes finally met Kuroos astounded ones and the world goes into a blur while he remained to stay focused in your line of sight.
Just like that, Cupid lands a bullseye to both hearts.
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Yandere ocs
So I figured I should show them off..and make stories for them cause this idea won't escape my mind no matter what. Please be gentle on them
All artwork is made on picrew I don't own any of it
As far as they go I'm accepting request, questions for the characters to answer and just questions about them and if you just wanna talk to them you can via ask
Warning: contains both sfw and nsfw headcanons..also these boys are yanderes so they are kinda toxic
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Theodore,21
Gentle giant
I'm not kidding he's 6'3"
Half japanese half american
Is a college student studying to be a doctor
Just the sweetest sweetheart
He comes across as ditzy though
He is the mom of any friend group
Will spoil his darling with affection and love
Best hubby vibes for sure
Works himself to death to provide for you both
Will give you all the headpats
"you're so sweet, a perfect angel"
Got his scar from his childhood
Loves sweets
Likes to make you lunch shaped as animals
Wholesome boy
Will never hurt you
Can be strict about self care
But completely forgets about his own self-care
Works so hard to please you
Makes sure you are never sad or anything
As far as his yandere side
He isn't the type to get violent but is definitely the emotional manipulation type
Will make his darling seem absolutely insane
"sweetie, you shouldn't leave be logical here"
He will make his darling question their own decision making
In his eyes you are too fragile for the outside world
Listen to him, he is only trying to protect you
Doesn't like it when you fight him
Prefers a sweet darling but if you are a hothead he'll love you just as much...though your fighting and struggling will be a challenge
Will drug you if that's what it takes to keep you calm
"Just listen to me, okay? Why would you ever need to think or make your own choices when you have me?"
Definitely has a low sex drive more of a cuddler
But when he wants it he's such a gentleman about it
Will seduce you with a nice meal first before asking to make love
He will never force you to though cause he knows what that feels like
Can spend hours kissing you
Definitely has a kink for purity
If you act super innocent he just can't help but pull you into his lap and love up on you
Doesn't do any feral sex unless you've pushed him past his breaking point.
Is a switch so if you want to top him he'll allow it but he is far more comfortable being the dom
Hikaru, 21
Young and famous model
Full japanese
Comes from a family full of actors
Flamboyant as hell will actually crossdress if he wants to cause fuck gender roles
Monster Dick energy
He comes across as loud and hyper
Seems super sweet and bubbly
Loves to dress up his darling in cute clothes and spoil them when they are well behaved
"look at my adorable baby! Oh you're such a cutie!"
Is a strawberry milk boba drinker(*cough* like me *cough*)
Will take you on shopping dates if you are good
Is the type to flaunt his credit cards
Is actually a degrading king
He isn't the nicest yandere
Will kill an entire army if he has to
Will degrade the absolute hell out of his darling to break your self esteem and self worth
"baby, who else will want you? Honestly darling do you think anyone else actually cares about someone as worthless as you?"
Kinky as fuck
Has a bad temper
Don't piss him off or he will hurt you
"why would you ever need to leave! The only one who cares about you is me! Everyone else will just use you and throw you away!"
Is the type to try and make his darling as clingy as possible
Wants a housewife type darling no matter the gender
Wants to come home to an obedient lover ready to give him a kiss, dinner, and a BJ
Always wants to love up on you and have you in his arms
Will be grouchy if he sees you getting too confident in your looks
He fears that if you have too much self confidence you're going to leave him
"what are you wearing? It's absolutely hideous. Hmm? I bought that? Huh you must have looked cute in it then but right now you kinda look like a pig"
All in all he's a brat
If you try and dom him he will absolutely fight back and it will lead to some feral sex
Axis, 18
100% blind
full japanese
Despite not being able to see he doesn't need a cane or anything
Though he likes it when you offer to hold his hand in public
Works at home as an artist
Is really good at it and had some of his work in museums
Like spicy foods
Dumbass
Like super dumb
"hey, babe is tomato sauce a smoothie? Or maybe it's like jelly..but made out of like tomatoes"
Is basically a puppy
Can't keep his hands off you
Is always kissing and loving you
Praise giving king
Has hightened senses so he definitely remembers your smell and how you walk
Always has to be with you
Never leave
Never
He can't handle it
Is the exact opposite of hikaru
Makes it seem like he will actually die without you
"don't leave! Please! I'm helpless without you! [Y/n]! Don't leave me by myself!"
Will make you quit your job
Will make you move in with him
Acts pathetic when you even mention leaving
Hugs your leg and sobs hard
Has fake fallen many times to get you to think he truly is helpless without you
Will have a screaming tantrum if you walk out the door
Just painful screams and sobs while he claws his own face and body out of absolute insanity
Will keep doing that until you come back to him
"s-see, I'm helpless without you. I'll die without you, I need you so please..stay with me forever"
As far as sex..
He is definitely cries during it
Loves you so much that he is just sobbing while fucking you cause you feel so good and he loves you and-
Is like a dog in heat
Loves just feeling all over your body
Sex with him usually lasts many rounds and involves him humping you to death while he sobs and drools all over you
Will sub for you if you want him to
Will honestly do anything you want as long as you are touching him
Prince, 24
Horny 24/7
Full Korean but moved to Japan shortly after birth
Gained his name out of a magazine..thanks mom and dad
Works as a bartender
Usually a one night stand kind of guy but with you it's different
Loves sloppy kisses and cuddles
Bad boy
Aka he pretends to be a bad boy but is actually a softie who loves dogs and long walks on the beach
Goofy as hell
Loves to make you laugh
He isn't used to having a real relationship so be easy on him
Doesn't like restricting you and lets you do basically anything you want
Of course you belong to him though so no doing crazy things
Like to take you to work with him and gives you free drinks
Definitely has a fan girl club
The word sex escapes his mouth every three seconds
Sex with him is usually amazing
He's knows exactly what he's doing
As long as you love him it's all good
The moment you try to break up with him or distance yourself he loses it
"huh? Huh huh huh huh?! You're kidding yeah?! Stop joking around"
Gets hella paranoid and locks you in his house while pacing around not sure what to do
Will kill for you like absolutely will slaughter someone if they get too close to you
He changes so dramatically it's hard to see him as the same laid back flirty guy
He gets tense and panicked
"you can't leave okay?! Don't even try to ask!"
Will start to calm down if he sees you are accepting your fate
Thinks sex will solve his problems
"you just need to see how much of a man I am yeah?! Then you'll stay right?! Of course you will!"
Spirals out of control
You belong to him in his eyes so you can't ever leave
Clearly has abandonment issues
Will try to do whatever he can to make you happy though
Want it and he will get it
just stay with him and he will be okay
Will try and do whatever he can to make you just as obsessed with him as he is for you
Clearly doesn't have experience in loving someone
He's not used to wanting someone to stay with him so he takes drastic measures to assure you never leave
Even tries getting you pregnant or making you disabled to make you make no choice but to stay
Yuki, 21
Not picking favorites buuut-
Sleepy boy
Oddly enough is super athletic and strong..despite not working out
Half japanese half american
Responds with sounds or very few words
Forked tongue- not given to him by choice
Owns a tattoo and piercing shop
Despite this he doesn't own any tattoos
Loves to put his head on your lap or stomach
Prefers chubbier lovers but honestly will love you regardless
Will sleep the entire day without eating if you let him
Doesn't like speaking but if he has to he will
Hates any sort of loud noise, has sensitive senses
Is pretty lazy but if he has to do it he will.. though he will make random grunts and grumbles the entire time while pouting
More of a cat than a person
Quite moody
Only you're allowed to touch him
Anyone else who does he'll glare at and act cold towards
Likes to hug you from behind and lean against you no matter your height
If you're shorter than him expect him to put his chin on your head
If you are taller he's nuzzling his face in your back and taking in your smell
Can't cook to save his life
Almost burnt the house down cause he fell asleep while cooking
It's fine cause he eats microwave dinners and snacks from the convience store
Low sex drive
The king of sleepy sex
Usually all sex with him is slow,teasing and just filled with sleepy praise and compliments
Unless he's jealous or stressed then it's just rough fucking
Doesn't really act like a yandere at all.. buuut-
Honestly thought you two were dating this whole time
What do you mean you two aren't a couple
No no sweetheart you two were dating the moment he laid eyes on you
If you try to break this fantasy he will shut it down
"we're dating."
Try and say no and he will not be able to handle it
All his delusions keep him from breaking down but if you absolutely say that you two aren't dating he will snap
"stop talking, we are dating. So stop lying"
Doesn't like the thought of kidnapping but he will do it if he must
Will even work from home if he has to
He isn't really a violent type so he won't kill for you but he will absolutely spread lies and use blackmail to get what he wants
All your friends and family think that you eloped with him and never want to see them again
It's better for you both if you just play along with his games
Will definitely tattoo his name on you
He won't ever gag you cause he likes to hear your voice but if you try to scream he honestly won't know what to do
The loudness makes him tear up and he just covers your mouth with your hands begging you to stop
"It hurt. Too Loud. Please."
He just wants to love you he doesn't see what he's doing wrong
He just wants to be with you forever so be good and don't fight him
Is definitely the stalker and stealing clothes type
Will make a nest of all your things that smell like you and he'll just lay in it being in absolute peace
Has scared any and all potential lovers away
Mostly through blackmail
He is easily jealous but pretends not to be
As soon as you walk into the house he is there to smell you to see if you smell different
If you do you are taking a shower with him immediately
If not then yay cool cuddles and kisses
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Back at it again since tumblr didnt want me in the tags the first time
Bakugou was irritable today. Not that his irritability was anything new but every little thing set his skill crawling. His forearms littered with threatening pops as he bared his teeth to anyone brave enough to look his way.
He figured the only way to get his agitation out was to hit something, anything.
So he headed to one of the two closest gyms from his small apartment to blow off some much needed steam. The local 24 hour gym that was open to the public was a no go, not just because it was always over crowded but also because he got banned after cussing out some damn extras who were snapping pictures of him instead of working out like one should. Leaving his only other option to be the agency's "gym".
When he first set foot into the sorry excuse of a gym he demanded a better upgrade for it, if they expected to keep him and Kirishima in top shape. Otherwise he would begin to look elsewhere considering other agencies were dying to have the newest upcoming pro hero in their rankings. The agency obliged, delivering his expectations and more in less than a week. Guess being in the top five really did have its perks.
The ash blonde pulls his shiny new coupe into the parking garage and finds a spot closest to the entrance. He grabs for his water bottle from the passenger seat before exiting the car, locking his black beauty as he made his way inside. He swipes his fob over the keypad before it beeps while flashing green, allowing him entrance to the back door of the basement. Walking past the long corridor of support labs that had long since closed to get to the gym. The rooms illuminated by the low light of locked computers, secrets and redesigns stowed away behind bullet proof glass.
Nearing the end of the dimly lit hall he spies harsh light flooding onto the linoleum floor, indicating that someone seemed to be collecting some major overtime. From his experiences at UA he figured each room would be filled to the brim with over eager support, eccentrically yelling at one another over specs and improvements, sharing their love of science at a volume much too high for Bakugou's taste. Shortly after his hero debut he discovered just how wrong he was about the support labs. He had needed a 2am, mid shift, costume adjustment so he came here, expecting the place to be brimming with brilliant minds only to find one person still working.
So it should be no surprise that at 10:30 at night there was one room that was clearly occupied. Still a rare curiosity takes over the hot head as he peeks into the room while passing, wondering if he will catch a glimpse of you again.
He found you odd, as you seemed to be nocturnal or better yet maybe you didn't sleep at all. No need for it as your hunger for knowledge seemed to outweigh any basic human need.
Bakugou had only seen you a handful of times, here and there in passing towards the gym at all hours of the day and night. Maybe it was just coincidence that he would find you hunched over something with this gleam in your eye as you destroyed and rebuilt the item over and over again.
He shakes his head, he doesn't get it. Doesn't get why you dedicate so much time when no one else in your department seemed to give as much of a damn as you did. Or maybe he did get it, maybe it was similar to how he pushes himself so he can be number one, except yours was just for intellectual stimulation.
After an hour and a half of throwing weights and punches around and becoming heavily drenched in sweat, Bakugou finally calls it a night. Gulping water from his water bottle before wiping at the sheen that collected on his forehead. He sighs out, before catching himself in the mirror. Smirking as he flexes, letting go a few pops. Admiring not only his improved physique but also his new hair style. Sides faded but top long, ash strands looking borderline messy, as if someone had just caught him and a lover kissing heavily in a dark hall during a house party, their fingers desperately pulling at his hair.
He reaches for the ceiling in a grunting stretch as a yawn forces its way out. He leaves the gym, switching off the lights before making his way back to the parking garage. A furrow of his brow as he notices the light to your lab is still on, maybe you had forgotten to kill the light when you left or maybe you were still tinkering away. Crimson eyes peer into the room, spying you as you begin to stretch. Your eyes latch onto his as he watches your expression go from concentrated to elated. You jump from your seat, causing Bakugou's brow to furrow more before you're flinging open the door and yanking at his wrist.
"Wow what are the odds?! Well I guess they would be around 4.64% considering you don't normally frequent this gym but I should also factor in your recent ban raising it up to.."
"Oi, shitty woman, quit the nerd talk!" He yanks his wrist from your small, delicate hands. Totally unsure of what your name is and even if he did know it, he would sooner address you with an insult than your family name.
"Ah I forget, not everyone loves numbers. But still I am quite lucky tonight." You beam up at him, hair threatening to fall loose from its haphazardly shaped bun, "You're just the man I needed to see, Bakugou."
He isn't sure why but a faint blush creeps to his cheeks, was it your bright smile that threw him so off guard or was it the way your lips formed around his name?
He sucks his teeth, looking away from you with crossed arms.
"Well I'm sweaty as fuck, so you really don't need me." He huffs but before he can turn on his heel you're clamping cool black metal to his forearms. You guide him to the door to the testing area of your lab, turning his arms this way and that to make sure your measurements are perfect as you ramble on.
"No! No! That is the perfect condition for this experiment. I've been working on your winter costume since there are deficiencies with your current one. Since you, and I'm sure you already know, sweat less in the winter there needs to be some sort of counter balance to offset the possibility of little to no stored sweat. Preventive measures could be made sure and you collect sweat from previous activities but 'stale' sweat does not ignite as quickly or as violently as fresh sweat. One could argue that using heavier and denser materials could help aid in more sweat production but this risks overheating should a mission need you inside or a rapid change in environment all together outweight any benefit. So not only are these bracers less obnoxious than your gauntlets, no offense, but they collect 56 to even 62% more of expandable sweat compared to the normal 54% all while reducing the amount needed for ignition. Sure my colleagues could say that's a marginal improvement at best but…" Heat radiates off of him in waves, pulling your eye upwards. You're met with a red hot gaze that seems to rake over your skin. An odd chill runs down your spine as you realize your mistake.
Nerd talk. And rambling nerd talk at that.
All the while Bakugou wonders why your hands are so damn cold and yet they feel good, soothing to his warmed skin. Refreshing even as it reminds him of a passing breeze in the summer or hiding in the shade from the sun.
A bit of heat rushes into your cheeks as you suddenly realize how close you are to THE Ground Zero. Someone who you knew so intimately through paper and yet knew nothing about all at the same time. You knew his measurements, the circumference of his head, his biceps, the number of inches around his thighs. Hell, you had them memorized since the big boss upstairs assigned you his costume and accessories well over a year ago. And yet you couldn't even fathom to name his favorite color or favorite food for that matter.
You swallow thickly, clearing your throat as you move on, dropping his deadly hands as you do.
"Ah, anyway, these bracers are designed to help with not only better sweat collection in both summer and winter but to aid in some stealth missions as they make no sound compared to your heavy gauntlets." You smile at him once more causing his stomach to flip before those small icy hands press harshly into his toned hot back, pushing him into the testing chamber behind diamond glass.
"I just need you to test them. I need to make sure they can withstand your heat and power." With that you shut him away, quickly trotting to the mic on the other side. Pressing the button to speak as he turns his arms over looking at the smooth black material
"Now, remember, it takes less sweat. So don't go all out!" At first you worry it falls on deaf ears before he gives a nod your way. Suddenly you are in awe of the power house that stands before you as his expression changes from utter agitation to complete determined focus, all with something as simple as a deep breath out. He focuses on producing enough sweat to ignite, calling on his quirk as if it were an extension of himself. Pooling it onto his skin, permeating the air with the slight smell of burnt sugar before he let's go a small pop.
But the medium sized explosion he had expected was anything but what was produced. Suddenly the brace on his arm explodes from the pressure as does the diamond glass in the room. Fear grips Bakugou as shards of glass go flying towards you before you flick your wrist harshly.
The deadly shards bypass you, glistening shrapnel sinks deeply into the tile floor around you like a piece of jagged art.
And yet you seem unphased, delighted even as a manic smile paints your lips before it sours. Eyes noticing that the bracer barely stood up to the challenge.
"Fuck…the density still cannot withstand the joules output or force that Bakugou is capable of…" A string of murmurs that remind him all too much of Deku as your fingers curl in the air, calling forth the failed experiment with unseen forces. The blonde long forgotten as you hunch over the workbench, going back to square one.
Crimson eyes dissect your form and actions as you pull various books and tools towards you with the influence of your quirk, hovering around the work space.
Suddenly you feel heat radiating behind you when normally you're enveloped in the cool air of the air conditioning, kept extra low in the labs to prevent overheating of parts. You look over your shoulder, suddenly remembering the Pro hero who's beginning to wonder why you're in support with a quirk like that.
"I know, I know. The last bus and train left hours ago. I'll catch them in the morning." You guess at why he's lingering as you wave him off with your hand. He's caught off guard by your statement before he notices the clock, going to open his mouth to scold before snapping it shut.
Why should he care if you work through the night? What was he gonna do? Offer you a ride when he didn't even know your name?
He sucks his teeth biting out as he leaves.
"Just call me when you're ready to test these again."
Weeks pass and it's as you never left the lab. Glued to the same spot as he tests the product every other week only for you to grow more and more frustrated with each failure punctuated by shattered bracers.
And every time he enters the lab room he learns something new about you. He can tell when or if you've left the lab for longer than a few minutes by how tidy the space is or lack thereof. A chaotic circle encompasses you filled with random items that you hope will ignite a spark of inspiration. Anything from books to thin sheets of metal and even to soft fabrics that haphazardly lay atop metal tools. Anything one could possibly imagine was probably there, sitting along-side several empty cups that once held iced coffee. He notices the bags beneath your eyes as they darken with each passing week and he's beginning to wonder if you've ever left as he leaves anywhere between 12 to 3am most nights.
Tonight is no different as he makes his way to the gym at midnight while you're hunched over his bracers. A part of him wants to tell you to stop being an idiot, to rip you from your little stool and drag you to your bed or wherever the fuck you'll sleep as the other part points out 'why do you fucking care?' So he watches silently, eyes fixated on you until he runs out of glass to look through before he locks himself away in the gym.
Bakugou puts in his black wireless earbuds before cranking his music up, tossing his phone onto a nearby workbench. He stretches this way and that, reaching for the sky as he looks at his form in the mirror, his hard earned V and bottom two abs wink at his reflection beneath his signature black tank top and his black hoodie.
His fist connects easily with the heavy black bag suspended by a large chain. The sandbag swings back and forth with a creak with each heavy handed blow. Bakugou loses time with each kick and hit thrown at the bag, each passing song fueling his desire to melt his frustration until his hair is plastered to his forehead. He lets out a steadying breath as his heart roars in his chest,he rears his fist back for a final blow backed by a bit of his quirk. It connects with the well worn leather with such force a weak link in the chain snaps as the fabric obliterates, the 200lb bag flies into the mirror behind it. Shards of reflective glass glitter as they rain onto the matted floor.
"Fuck." He huffs, stretching and turning to the opposite mirror. Sending a quick snap of his tongue out with the caption "Oops" as the background showcases the decimated gym to Kirishima. He picks up his bag, removing his ear buds to be met with the cool air of the hallway.
Your light is still on causing him to grind his teeth as his phone reads 2:45am. He's angry enough he chooses to avoid looking into your enclosure as he walks past, fearful his sharp tongue will give him away. He misses you perk up, frantically waving for him to come in before you're at the door, flinging it open to yell out much too loudly in the empty halls.
"Bakugou!" Your voice is hoarse and cracks from disuse before you clear your throat, lightly jogging to catch up to his large stride, "I've done it!"
He ignores you, lips pursed in a tight line before your cold hand wraps tightly around his wrist. Pulling him back to the lab with eager steps. He rips away his wrist with a growl and follows you reluctantly, you seem unphased by his harsh actions.
"I've finally perfected it. I'm sure this time. I was looking at it all wrong. Larger surface area does not always equate to better absorption. Not to mention the pressure for the explosions beneath the bracer is what was causing the failure in the first place. A marginal error that I should have caught earlier. This new design covers less than 15% of your skin but increases…." You ramble but it all falls on deaf ears.
Bakugou sees that your hair is so loose in its ponytail it might as well be down. The bags beneath your eyes weigh heavy on your pretty features, your skin showing signs of dehydration as it seems to have lost some of its elasticity. Your lab coat is wrinkled and your nametag, that you're wearing for once, is pinned on upside down. He commits your name to memory although he finds it odd that it must be your first name instead of your family name, then again you do hail from overseas. As the two of you walk into your lab he realizes instantly that it has become your main living space. Shards of diamond glass still litter your floor, there is no rhyme or reason to the placement of objects. Tools, and trash commingle in dangerous piles and stacks around the room. Something knits itself as it floats in the air, wavering a bit when you pause your rambling to yawn.
"Oi nerd!" Bakugou's voice is sharp, authoritative as he grips onto your wrist. Eyes still washing over the room before they land on you. Somehow you're too daft or too tired to pick up on his concern.
"Yea yea nerd talk. I fucking get it." A half snap from your exhaustion, "Just…"
You lose his grip before grabbing onto his arm, finding a mesh woven bracer somehow on that disastrous desk. It seems to be made of a soft, elastic fabric as you slip it over his thick forearm after shoving away his sweatshirt sleeve.
"Perfect, your sweat output was pretty close to max earlier. I could smell caramel from the gym. This is going to be so fucking great!" You giggle in delight as the other mesh bracer finishes itself, dropping before you frantically reach for it. He notices your faulty step, your under the breath curse and the long moment your eyes flutter. He almost bites his tongue clean off.
Again your cool hands find his burning skin as you try to keep your tired brain focused on the task at hand and not how his forearms have grown nearly a half inch since your first encounter. It's difficult not to fall victim to his intoxicating smell as you force yourself to not sway on your feet and collapse into a lovely muscular man. His heat seems to have some sort of affect on you, causing an odd affinity between you both.
"Okay all done! Please give a medium sized blast!" You encourage, shoving him into the testing chamber as he glares down at you. He isn't sure why your chaotic state is bothering him but it does. He rolls his eyes as you slam the door shut. He brings clarity to his mind, focusing on his quirk and how the sweat feels against his skin. How it yearns to be something more, to explode into a whispering flame that may catch something ablaze.
He gives in, just a little, giving it what it wants, igniting it with a simple thought. An explosion he would have considered large if he were still at UA but since all he's done is grow these past five years, earning him the number 3 rank, it comes to no surprise when the glass shatters yet again.
Except this time you're too entranced with the smoke clearing, of seeing if your baby you've slaved over has made it through to comprehend the sharp threat. You notice the flying glass a moment too late, flicking your wrist to change the trajectory from what was supposed to be your entire body but your arms are grazed by the razor sharp shards. You grit your teeth, cursing to yourself calling forth a first aid kit.
But nothing shows up in your peripheral except for a looming presence. One you give your back to in order to find the first aid kit with your gaze, when was the last time you ever had to look at something to summon it?
Damn it, how could you be experiencing quirk failure from exhaustion right now? Sure it took a lot of brain power for your quirk but it takes weeks of no sleep for a failure plus you had been eating...your eyes glance around the room. You hadn't been eating, or so it says from the lack of any sort of plate or take out aside from your iced coffees with the added protein and carbohydrate shots your body needed to process your quirk with ease.
Fuck, guess it really was quirk failure. You bite your lip, unable to find that damned kit hoping the hot head wouldn't catch on to your short coming.
Vermillion eyes watch crimson spots bloom across the white fabric of your coat. He grinds his teeth, searching for the first aid kit only to find it knocked beneath a shelf. He rights himself, stalking your way with a grimace just to stop in his tracks. He watches you slip your oversize jacket off of strong shoulders, toned arms adorned with several thin slices that weep red, but what has really caught his attention was that body con dress.
Sticking to you like a second skin, but looking somehow comfortable at the same time, he wonders for a moment if you've made it yourself. It's similar to the fabric used to make his shirts, breathable, soft, always smelling a bit sweet like you when they are fresh from the lab. His hand twitches as he can imagine how supple your curves would feel in the delicate yet sturdy material, palm already too familiar with the soft sensation. Red catches his eye once again pulling him from the trance that is your body. He sneers at the cuts as he grabs onto your cold shoulder, shoving you into your chair so he can work on you. You look up a bit shocked with a pinch of anger mixed in and a dash of hurt pride. He takes no notice as he wraps bandages tight around your arms, your eyes locked onto the bracers. The smile on your face cannot be helped as you stare proudly at your work, it was able to withstand so much power and remain not only in tact but unsinged. You grab onto his wrist turning it this way and that, a pen and pad float near by as you take notes. Bakugou cannot hide his astonishment as he watches the invisible hand borrow your neat yet rushed script as it is unable to keep up with your thoughts. You pull the bracers from his arms, fabric begins to tear itself thread by thread before spooling itself, wrapping around wood as if it were a snake. He pulls away, eyes hard as he talks himself out of whatever the stupid "heroic" side of him is saying. He takes a step back and with it taking his warmth. You shiver but you are too busy to notice, teeth chattering ever so slightly but you're too busy studying. He growls to himself.
Suddenly you're enveloped in a dizzying sweet smell and warmth, it is then you realize that Bakugou had shoved his hoodie over your head. Slinking your arms into the holes to move the hood of the sweatshirt back, quickly realizing the material is not damp as you had once thought. It's warm from his quirks use, material dry as a bone, reminding you of pulling your favorite blanket fresh from the dryer just to wrap yourself in it as rain taps on the window of your apartment.
Subconsciously you snuggle into it, opening your mouth to state how much work you have to do but instead you have to stifle a yawn.
Had the cold of the lab always kept you awake, were you starting to actually feel the weight of your work only because you were warm?
"I think it's time for bed, nerd."
He places his hot palm on the back of your neck in a power move as he speaks. He enrages you and entices you all at once as your face snaps up to meet his gaze, your own eyes burning holes into him. He smirks down at you, deciding in this moment that he really likes you.
"I'm taking you home. Get your shit." He squeezes your nape as a warning. He isn't taking no for an answer.
"I'll take the bus and train in the morning, three hours is child's play." Hitting his hand away, trying to return to your work. He scoffs in response.
"You sure are oblivious for someone so smart. Tomorrow is Saturday." He crosses his exposed arms, unable to hide his smug smirk as realization washes over your stunning features, "That means the bus won't be in the business district til 10am."
"I think I'll be okay." You say after a moment of silence, "I've waited longer. Or I could walk..."
"Will you?" He retorts, "Your office says otherwise."
You follow his gaze, your entire office in disarray, as if a bomb went off.
You guess in a sense one had gone off. Biting your lip as you mull it over, eyes finding Bakugou's file shuffled across your desk, spying your own hand written cliff notes.
Stubborn your script reads, you sigh admitting defeat as you wave your hand over the file. It tidies itself, papers folding neatly back into the Manila folder before you snap your fingers.
Bakugou watches items soar around the room, books fighting and bickering over their order, pens and pencils long forgotten in corners of the room race back to their place on your desk. Papers flutter and fall into the trash or shredder in defeat as plastic cups sink into the plastic bin in the corner. The diamond glass follows suit as your own hands grab onto the bracers, giving them a gentle squeeze before you access an invisible drawer on your desk, hiding away your project before pushing it back. Wood flush against wood as if there were no drawer at all.
A question burns on the tip of Bakugou's tongue, it dies in his throat for now as a new one is born.
"That Kirishima's faceplate?" The question comes out in the form of a bite, for some reason the thought of his more likeable friend coming in here as often as Bakugou has set his blood boiling.
"Ah yes, I just got this assignment from the big boss. Kirishima's new unbreakable breaks his faceplate everytime. Otto had it before me, which was odd. He is more of a reverse engineer. Taking an unknown material and figuring out how it works." Your eyes linger over the empty office across the way, "But he's been out and Kirishima can apparently no longer be on the back burner. Especially now that I've finished with the company's top hero."
His heart melts just a bit as he watches a smidge of pride form in your dazzling eyes. He scoffs to change the topic.
"Come on, shitty woman." He guides you to the parking garage.
Once there he acts out of character. At least what you would believe to be out of character as he holds open the door to his car for you, waiting for you to step in.
"What?! I ain't fucking kidnapping you but I ain't letting you weasel out of this shit either." He growls, waiting impatiently by the door. You step in as he gently shuts the door behind you. He steps in himself, the engine purrs to life as you give him your address.
"That far out? And you were gonna fucking walk?" He laughs, "Hell no, never again. You'll call me before you do that next time."
"I don't have your number asshole." You grumble to yourself but he grabs your unlocked phone from your hands, plugging in his number and calling it.
"There now you do." He locks it and puts it in his cup holder, demanding your attention. No longer can he keep that burning question to himself, "Why are you on support?"
It puzzles you for a second before you realize he means it as a compliment to your quirk and not an insult to your intellect.
"Oh that's easy. Being a hero wouldn't benefit me, it's too restrictive. I'm more of a…." You ponder on your words, vigilante was wrong, you wouldn't take justice into your own hands for the sake of others and villain was too strong, "Chaotic neutral. My moral compass is pretty grey and being in this lab benefits my need for knowledge."
Bakugou glances your way, respectful of your honesty while your eyes become heavy watching the street lights blur, the hum of the engine pulling you deeper into relaxation. There was something about a car ride that took you back to your childhood days in America. The outskirts of the city would quickly wind into back roads lined with corn stalks that scrapped the sky.
The street lights slowly became fewer and farther in between as the black coupe took you further from the heart of the city, soon more stars began to dot the sky. You see just the tip of his zodiac constellation, it stirs a question within you.
"So why do you want to be a hero?" You keep your eyes focused on the backdrop that lies beyond the tinted glass, missing Bakugou's knuckles turn stark white.
He doesn't speak and that's answer enough for you.
It took him an hour to get to your side of town, an hour. One you had said you would walk, one you mentioned you had walked before. He pulls up the sidewalk by your building, turning to you.
"We're here…" His announcement turns into a sigh as he sees your slumped form. Head limp but thankfully not leaning on the glass as you're snuggled into his hoodie. You're murmuring how you need to update your measurements in your sleep causing Bakugou to roll his eyes. He pulls away to parallel park. He debates, should he wake you?
No, who's to say you wouldn't attempt tor eturn to your work? He sighs, pocketing your phone and pulling the lanyard out of your purse that has, what he assumes,your house key on it.
Katsuki's blood runs ice cold in his veins as realization sucker punches him square in the chest. He had NO fucking idea which apartment was yours. He turns your key over and over but why would that have the number on it?
"Fuck." He would have to pray your mailbox was both clearly labeled and inside. He shoulders your purse before scooping you into his arms, sure to cradle you like the princess you are.
He steps through the automatic doors, relief washes over him as a wall of mail boxes greet him. Better yet, they were neatly labeled with names AND apartment numbers.
But it is not long lived as his red eyes rake over the names, the family names, last names. He only knew your first and of course, of fucking course the Gods would laugh at him as panic rises in his throat. You had to have the most common first initial didn't you? He had spotted it six times already but none of the last names seemed out of the ordinary, if anything they were all ordinary, run of the mill Japanese last names. Nothing foreign about them.
"Fuck." He murmurs, plan B wouldn't work either, he can't just try out every fucking apartment with your first initial, how weird would that be, some guy shoving keys in random doors with a passed out woman in his arms.
"Fuck." He cusses again. Was he going to have to take you to his apartment? Fuck, fuck fuck! He couldn't do that, the press slunk around his apartment like vultures, even at this hour.
"Oh you must be the guy that's been keeping her up so late at night." A voice sounds behind him, he turns towards the sound. A smaller young man smiles at him as if he and Bakugou share an inside joke.
"Quite nice of you to bring her home, and get her mail." He laughs softly reaching for something in the desk, he approaches slowly, "But she must have forgotten to tell you she lost her key a couple of weeks ago. She always asks me to get the mail instead of paying the lost key fee. Don't blame her though."
The desk clerk, Wantanabe, rambles on as Bakugou's sharp eyes watch closely. Silently thanking the Gods' for their blessing as he watches Watanabe slide the spare key into your mail slot. He commits your last name to memory, but more importantly 5C burns into his retinas.
"...she hasn't been home in four weeks, so she has a lot of mail." That snaps Bakugou back to the present, a small stack of mail is presented to him. He stares down at your form unable to keep the scowl off of his face. The dark circles beneath your eyes seem to become darker by the second.
"Thanks." He growls through gritted teeth, snatching the mail as best he can without disturbing you. He looks for an elevator and when he sees he will have to climb five flights of stairs he wonders if this is the reason you don't come home often.
Soon enough 5C is staring Bakugou in the face. He is hesitant, even if he does bring you home safely he wonders if you would misread his actions. As the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. Still his hands move quickly, sliding the key into the door and unlocking your mysteries. The apartment is sizable for the area, clean at least what he can see from the light of the hall flooding in. He flips on a switch with his elbow, he expected harsh light but instead ambient string lights that line the ceiling illuminate the space in a warm light. A three chair island with a marble water fall looks out into the living room, a large sectional couch swallows the space, a TV atop a nice entertainment table while books litter the coffee table and one part of the couch. The apartment feels as if it had been warmed by the sun through the drawn curtains but not overly hot, it feels cozy really. As if Bakugou could imagine himself spread out on the grey sofa while you're curled against him, half dozing half reading your book.
The thought jarrs him, he feels too close to you now, feverish almost as he rips your key from the door, shutting it softly before placing the lanyard onto the kitchen island. He spies a hall and passes a full bath, then a freshly vacant guest room to see a final door closed that he assumes is the master. He flips the switch and again light snakes around the ceiling washing the room in this comfort. He can understand the soft yellow lights considering you spend forty plus hours beneath harsh, bleaching white lights. He pulls back the comforter as best he can and lies you down gently. He removes your red bottom heels and praises the Kamisama when he sees you do not have on tights not that he would remove them anyway. You snuggle deeper into his hoodie, smiling as you do, dreaming of whatever little scientist's dream about. Katsuki imagines it's all math, measurements, molecular structures, nerd shit. You begin to murmur in your sleep.
"...gotta update his chart…"
"Fucking nerd." Bakugou smiles to himself, you look peaceful even as your mind races with reminders. Another snuggle deeper into his hoodie, he goes to reach out to push hair from your face and stops himself.
"What the fuck am I doing?" He growls aloud, he doesn't know you. Barely figured out your last name and that was by both chance and stupidity on the desk clerk's. He heads for your bedroom door, stopping with his hand gripping the handle. He peers over his shoulder before killing the switch, flooding your room with darkness.
He shuts the door and with it the odd ache that's growing in his chest.
#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x you#bnha x reader
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It works very much like illusions. Ranbob can see him but can't touch him. While Dream can touch him (though it feel like more of a faint touch). The entire time Ranbob feels like he's dreaming but due to physical evidence, like notes left by Dream, he knows it isn't a dream. He's just kinda existing. But in actuality he's not completely "there", sometimes he is aware of what's going on (though he never remembers more often than not) but that's when Dream allows it, other than that he's either floating aimlessly in the void or dreaming. Not aware of what's happening.
Definitely, Enderman tend to be 7 ft+. Infact when traveling and Enderman spot Ranbob, they always voice their worry about him being so short. They know he's a hybrid so he was always going to be shorter than them, but he shouldn't have been this short. His growth is permanently stunted. Its a miracle he even got those 2 inches to be honest. Ran was definitely caught off guard seeing Ranbob so short. But quickly dismissed it in favor of attacking him. But later on as time passes, he can't dismiss the unease and concern he gets when he thinks about the difference so easily as he did eailer. The Gladiators notice right away but don't comment on it, the Fishermen think Ranbobs height is normal so when they meet Ran and learn Enderman hybrids typically grow that big and bigger their caught off guard, Cletus and Charles attempt to question Ran what its like to be so tall but Benjamin stops them.
He did, the Dream Mask has a small bit of it broken off due to it being dropped (Ranbob didn't break it. He suspects maybe when it was being transferred it got dropped in its holding box and thats what broke it). Ranbob picked it up because he meant to throw it away, but he forgot too. Giving Dream more time to get a hold on him. They talked about whatever came to mind at first since Benjamin didn't want to start off with the rough questions. But eventually the two did start to talk about what happened to Ranbob and who/what Dream was.
Dream does not consider it important enough because he thinks he's never going back there. So it falls into disrepair and gets all dusty with some mold even growing in the room.
Dreams petty and likes being in control of everything. But Dream would just kinda wander, making sure no ones alive. Every now and again he'll get bored and just destroy something. The fishermen explored and read about the history of Mizu while they were there, then after Ranbob attacked them spent most of the time arguing about what to do with him.
It just leads to Cletus being mean/rude to Ranbob and taking much longer than the others to be comfortable around him. If that's what you mean.
-------------------
Yes! When it was down to just 4 people left alive in Mizu, Ran stumbled upon the 4th person dead, then it all kind of clicks in his head, as the only other person currently alive is a Council Member, that it has to be his brother. So he rushes off to find the Council Member so they can stop Ranbob, only to find Ranbob standing over his dead corpse. Thats when the chase around Mizu ticks off that ends with Ran fleeing Mizu.
Cause while spiders are passive in daytime, creepers aren't, and don't burn in the light. Plus they are loud with their explodes (yet oddly quiet) which can give his position away.
Eh I'll say. Their not really super common because mixing them can cause serious side effects during and after mixture. But the healing, sleep aids, and infection mixtures are common as they've been figured out and can safely be made. Fun fact: Subbin actually has an entire community and an official place in the government for figuring out potion mixtures, making new ones, and making the mixing process as safe as possible.
The group doesn't really use the mixtures much, expect for Rans sleep aid and a every now and again healing mixture when a Pit match goes wrong. Cause Grievous used to intern in a potion shop and learned all about them then.
He really did.
Your right! Not many people traverse it. Because he was a Technoblade follower, and they typically get taught the bare basics of surviving in environments like the Nether, deserts, snow, caves, etc in their teachings. He got da book from his Idol teachers, everyone in his Idol group got a book as well.
You can ask! I welcome any and all questions.
There's gold coins (I forget the actual in-game name oop) ore deposits in the Nether, so he mines that. Not any specific ones, cause there is still a language barrier and a mostly gesture barrier (expect for the universal ones like wait, ok/good, no harm, etc).
They made a group decision to try to check the Nether on a whim. Though mostly cause one guy just wouldn't shut up about it. They found a broken portal and managed to repair it enough to enter.
The Fishermen and Ranbob where kinda confused (cause Ran hadn't fully told them about his time on the run.) But expressed sympathy at his house being burned down. Jackie and Grievous wanted to search it for anything usable, Ran didn't let em cause he thinks there's nothing left. Watson shoots Ran a sympathetic look and declared that he wants to keep moving to find shelter. Benjamin quickly agreeing and the group moves on.
---------Tip of The Iceberg-----------
He does not expect in all of their times he's still the God of the world.
Honestly, most of them were fine. Bad was the only one who was mad and wasn't ok with it. The Masquerade, The Pit, Sam, Sapnap, Quackity, Foolish, Ranboo, Skeppy, Tubbo, Tommy, and Karl all say the Egg wrote it because they all have had experience with the Egg. The Haunted Mansion, The Wild West, George, Fundy, Eret, Jack, Niki, and Puffy all say XD because they've either had no experience with the Egg or believe in XD's existence. Philza and Technoblade actually go both ways. (If I forgot someone, oops).
Technoblade, Phil, Niki, The Pit, The Wild West, Puffy, Sapnap, and Sam are all on the Frontline. While the others are all split between research into the egg (The Masquerade is in this one of course), and running tests. Fundy is a runner, delivering orders, requests, or new information. Foolish is on both the researching, testing, and frontlines, he is on the frontlines when needed but otherwise is researching and testing. Karl is typically somewhere with one of the many Traveler groups. Quackity, Eret, and Sam (when not on frontlines) are on planning duties.
The Egg is strong enough to propose a real and constant threat to the groups. Everyone is typically on the move to avoid the reaching of the Egg and its Eggpire.
Bad hasn't gotten what he wants, which is Skeppy. And as he has "opened his eyes" a bit he sees the hypocrisy, manipulation, and lies that surround the Egg and wants out.
----------------------
Ye ye Brothers AU sorry.
The fishermen get to their home, wake up the next day, and Ranbob is already making a field for wheat and potatoes. Benjamin fucking squawks and races out to make Ranbob stop. And Isaac eventually has to come out and help cause Ranbob is refusing to leave. Cletus laughs at Ranbob and makes fun of him but stops when he sees Charles sadly staring at him. A silent ask to stop.
He does but Porkius is chill and let's the Gladiators do whatever they want as long as they are still in fighting condition for matches and gives them money every week. Plus he's chill and is kinda friends with them. But sometimes Porkius has them go to extravagant parties with him. They all hate going, not just Ran. Mostly cause the rich people are snobs and either 1. Constantly insult them in conversation than act surprised when they get mad at them and report it to Porkius. 2. Talk with them but talk exclusively about themselves and are insensitive to the Gladiators. But sometimes there's actually people at the parties who are genuinely curious and kind and want to get to know the Gladiators. Those conversations are pleasant and the Gladiators, no matter who it is, actively enjoy the conversation.
Ran has always been mischievous. Even witnessing murder, being traumatized, hunted constantly, and fighting non-stop hasn't changed that. If anything he got more mischievous over time.
Something extra I wanted to share:
-There is music in world and the player the Gladiators share get brought on the trip so they can play music the entire time.
-Ran and Grievous fight over who gets to pick music often.
-Fun fact about why I did this: Every single part of this story and all others has been either created by or inspired by music. For example the Tip of The Iceberg AU was solely inspired by the song True North (by Vocal Line), while Brothers AU was made from Ruler of Everything (by Tally Hall) and partly Mind Electric (by Miracle Musical). So I wanted to include music somehow. (I actually have a entire playlist with music that I've used for certain parts of the Brothers AU.)
Brothers AU:
Interesting, interesting. What triggers these 'dreams'? Can Dream do it, or is it like just something that happens?
I'm assuming only the brothers would know what the Endermen are saying, but there's also body language, so how does everyone react to that behavior? Do one of the brothers ever tell them what's being said, or? What's everyone's thoughts on Ranbob's height, seeing as the Fishermen were surprised, and the Gladiators immediately noticed?
How does Benjamin feel about what he hears? Is he a bit skeptical at first, or fully believing Ranbob's words?
So the room's in disrepair, interesting. At some point, it's mentioned that they go back there, I think, so does that strike anyone as odd?
He destroyed stuff? Like just general items or artifacts? How did Ranbob feel, if/when he was aware?
------------------
Why didn't he assume it was the Council Member? What clues led him to his brother instead?
Understandable.
Oh, that's really interesting!
World building galore, fantastic!
Who was the one guy?
He thinks? Was there something left then?
-----------------
Tip Of The Iceberg AU:
Still the god? He didn't expect that? Was someone else supposed to be? If so, who? What's his reaction to learning such?
Bad seems to be straying from the egg, does he intend to leave it? Or does it have a way to keep him?
Do we have any particular groups here? People who fight or work well together, and kind of drift to one another? What sort of dynamics do we get with all of this, especially since everyone's on the move constantly to avoid the Eggpire.
------------------
Brothers AU:
Benjamin: Whatcha got there?
Ranbob: Excessive labor when I should be resting.
Benjamin, gasping: NO!
What are the parties typically like? Do they behave or cause havoc? Switch it up? Anyone in particular they don't hate talking to there?
Always mischievous, just better at hiding it. Wait, that means Ranbob would have known he was like that, wouldn't he? He'd know exactly what to expect. Would anyone else? Either way, that should be amusing.
------
What kind of music do they have, and what does everyone prefer to listen to?
(Time to go on a song-spree!)
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Blond Janus Darkside Headcanons
I noticed how I haven't written down any info on the dark sides (Wrath, Apathy, Depression, Remus and pre-AA Virgil). More will be added.
Masterpost
Taglist:
@mother-snake, @writerstrashbin, @psychedelicships, @cryptidwriterdotcom (ask to be removed or added)
Wrath
Leader of the dark sides
Can induce a blind rage
When the rage is happening the recipient cannot control what they say or do and react simply on their first thought
The rage becomes stronger the more angry the person becomes
Wrath can't bring someone out of the rage. He can induce it but the person has to come out of it themselves
He has almost no control of Apathy because of that due to his lack of emotion
Likes to wear a partial suit. Finds that the coat is restricting and makes more complex movements hard
Still owns the coat. Just never wears it.
Symbol is tattooed on his left wrist
Orange and black color scheme. Like this:
Immediate reaction to almost anything is to yell.
Loves huge parties
If he's going to make a point, he makes it loud and clear. Often in front of other people so they can see what happens if you step out of line
Rules the dark sides more like a dictatorship then a family or of equel footing
Believes that they have to bend Thomas to their will and that the light sides are complete fools who will only destroy Thomas life
Wants Thomas to take what he wants and not to worry about who he leaves behind
If Thomas has to kill a politician to get what he wants? Sure go ahead. As long as he gets what he wants
When angry, Wrath is ruthless
He'll take your deepest fear and taunt you with it until you snap under the strain and comply to his every whim
He refuses to take no for an answer
Because of his hatred for the lights; he takes it out on Janus
He's big on public humiliation
If Janus would step out of line; well, he doesn't need all of those scales does he? He's sure Apathy would love to see the reactions if you rip some off
To aid in the control of the others; Wrath has complete control over the food supply
When the others are listening and followings orders. Good, they get to eat properly
When they don't? Your options are moldy bread or cheese that has been out in the open for about a month.
Him and Apathy eat like kings while the others decide between food poisoning and starvation
Likes to take words of affection and make them have a negative meaning (ex: the word Love.) after beating the hell out of someone, he would make them look directly in his eyes and says that he loves them... And he makes them say it back
He hates it when the others cry
Says that they're doing it for attention and that they should shut the fuck up
Apathy
Second in command
Can nullify peoples emotions. Leaving them feeling like an empty shell. The effects normally break after an hour
If Apathy knows your name he can control you like a puppet
White and black outfit. White shirt with black suspenders and pants.
Doesn't show where he keeps his symbol (its on his right ankle, its more like a tattoo then a patch)
Has a deep obsession with fire
Owns a zippo (a lighter that flips open)
Often feels empty due to his function. The fire makes him feel warm, feel more human (as human as the sides can be anyway)
Doesn't quite understand emotion. He understands the basics of it (cry = sad, laugh = hqppy, yell = angry.) but the more complex reactions confuse the hell out of him. Crying out of happiness is one of the things he will never understand.
Because of his lack of understanding of emotions; Apathy tries to understand through making others feel said emotions
Wants to know how someone would react when you break a precious item? Time to find a couple photos.
Will someone scream when you waterboard them? Hm well, only one way to test that.
Opinions change like a flip of a switch
One day he'll help you make dinner with a plastered on smile. The next he'll knock you out and burn you with his lighter with that same smile
Has only properly laughed twice
The first time was when Thomas accidentally laughed at someones funeral (he couldn't cope that the person was gone and his default reaction was to laugh)
The second was after the three of them (wrath, depression and him) shut off the heating to Janus' room and locked him inside
In order to understand things he doesn't know; he does experiments
He's not allowed to experiment on Wrath and Depression has no fun reactions. So he has his fun with Janus instead
Kinda likes it when blood stains his dress shirt
Because its warm. The warmth that once came from the person now belongs to him and it eases the cold empty feeling only slighty and temporary but its warm
He's indifferent on the lights. They're a little too perky for his tastes
Depression
Third in command
Doesn't really get a lot of say with decisions
Can erase certain memories (he doesn't use it very often)
Wears a medium blue dress shirt, brown leather suspenders with a black bowtie.
Normally keeps his sleeve rolled up
When crying; his eyes leak black
If the tears hit your skin, its a 10% chance that you could collapse and start spewing your insecurities while your eyes leak black
Symbol is on the back of his neck
Doesn't really mind not having the control that Apathy and Wrath have
Less work for him to do anyway
Couldn't care about the other twos blatant abuse of Janus
He sees it as a way to keep Janus in line
If Virgil wanted to play father figure he can go ahead. But that doesn't mean he has to be kind
Respects and looks up to Wrath
Normally just follows the lead of the others
He's the epitome of the duckling following the leader
Wrath has steak and potatoes for dinner? Depression also wants that too
Wrath says that they need to bend Thomas to their will? Well duh! Of course!
Wrath says that Janus has been out of line lately? Well why don't we break his leg again to show him a lesson
Most of the time, the food restrictions have no effect on him bc he listens to Wraths every word
Virgil
Was the second in command before he left
Opposed Wrath on his more extreme tactics
Has the ability to control shadows and others own Anxiety
Hated the dress code that Wrath insists on having. What kind of person wears suspenders and a dress shirt daily anyway?
Still wears the stupid things anyway because Wrath said to and he's not in the mood to get beat
Symbol is tattooed on underneath his shirt. The left side
After adopting Janus he lost his position as Wrath's right hand
Kinda pissed him off when he got demoted. Not bc of the loss of power. But bc he couldn't protect Janus as well
After adopting Janus he became the 4th in power (after Depression)
Remus
Is the epitome of don't give a shit
He has the power to conjure things and cause intrusive thoughts
Half the time he ignores the dress code completely
Typically opting for his normal clothes but does own a uniform as well
(if anyone has a better photo of this outfit pls pls pls DM me. I've looked through hundreds of photos and this is the best dark green dress shirt with suspenders I got)
Symbol is tattooed on the swell of his back
Gets practically no opinion on dealings or decisions with plans
Remus is a indifferent party. One moment he'll help you. The next he'll stab you in the back
He mostly just works with who can give him what he wants the fastest
He actually feels pity for Janus
Not like he'll ever act on that but he still feels a bit bad for the guy
Remus is kinda like that uncle at family get togethers that no-one talks to or cares about but he's always there
Janus
Oh boy, where to start?
Has the lowest rank out of every other side
His power (the ability to make people unable to talk) can only be used on the light side of the mind
He is also unable to heal immediately on the dark side
Meaning that he has to treat his wounds the old fashioned way
Doesn't really like the dress code
Only gets to wear his normal outfit when he's visting the light sides
Blond hair (wow! Really? Not like its the the name of the au!!)
His patch isn't a tattoo
This boi has the biggest fucking sweet tooth you could ever imagine
He is also so fucking short
His shoes have lifts to make him taller
He's cold blooded
When he gets focused, he bleps
This is turning fluffy-
He is literally covered head to toe in scars
Almost no skin was left untouched
Lying is a defense mechanism for him. He's deceit! He can lie his way out of anything!
Heavily disagrees on Wraths views
Thomas should get ahead, of course he should. But that shouldn't come at the price of someones life or the cost of his reputation
Hurting someone to get ahead in the short-term is only going to harm you in the long term
To hide the bruses, he applies thick layers of makeup and illusions if he's on the light side
Hasn't gotten a good sleep in years
He's terrified that someone will break into in bedroom while he's sleeping and finish him off
Or that they'll cut the heating again and he'll slowly freeze to death
Or that they'll drag him out of his room and chain him up somewhere to become nothing but a punching bag
He has agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)
Hasn't had positive touch since Virgil left
He has venom. Its very lethal and only activates when threatened
When angry, his eyes glow yellow and his canine teeth grow sharp and long that they stick out of his mouth slightly like fangs
Was meant to be a light side and function as Validity and Societal Self Preservation. But the dark sides found him first and brought him back with them
Virgil is his father figure
Doesn't really know how to feel after finding out that he's not a dark side
He does feel really really lied to and betrayed
But... Virgil is his dad. Virgil raised him
How could he be upset?
Writes down all of his thoughts and complaints in journals that he keeps in his room
He started writing journals when he was very young, so there is hundreds of them
Honestly doesn't know how to feel about him being a light side.
He's mad at Wrath. He knows that. But he can't do anything because his powers don't work on the dark side
He might as well be powerless.
When on the light side (so when all his powers work) his powers include: silencing others, the ability to repress sides/ make them unable to appear to Thomas and illusions.
His title is technically Validity with the added function of societal self preservation
Still goes by Deceit anyway
----
Has three brands burned onto him via Apathy
Is on his left ankle. Its his snake symbol. About the size of your fist
On his right bicep. The word "monster" in bolded writing. About two fingers in thickness.
Left chest, above his heart. The words "Property of the Dark Sides" in cursive text. The writing sits in a box.
All the brands are extremely painful for Janus if touched. Brand #3 is the brand he hates the most
His scales are more in patches then a perfect 50/50 split down his body
More will be added in the future.
#Blond Janus AU#janus sanders#sanders sides#deceit sanders#unsympathetic dark sides#sympathetic virgil#sympathetic remus#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic janus#remus sanders#Unsympathetic dark side ocs#abused deceit#abused janus#sanders sides headcanon#headcanons#headcanon#my writing#tw blood mention#ts janus#ts deceit#ts virgil#ts remus#ask to tag#swearing tw
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