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chocsra · 6 months

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if you’re ok with writing for multiple characters, could i request a platonic oneshot with chuuya and dazai x fem!reader who is apart of their “double black” (except ig it wouldn’t be double black anymore) and both mediates their arguments and instigates them? (maybe a snippet of friends to lovers between chuuya and the reader 🤭) tysm have a nice day!

"Unlit Cigarettes stained by Warm Lips"

15! Chuuya x gn! reader x 15! platonic! Dazai

A/N: ofc! yall i should keep my mouth shut bc i make too many promises i cant keep. HALLOWEEN IS SOON BTW AAAAAA

Content: stuck in a jail cell with your unfortunately idiotic subordinates, fluff, crack, mafia work, reader is MEAN, a little romance w chuuya, dazai may be ooc but i like to think that in this kinda dynamic he acts more like a normal teen, slight soukoku, smoking, lots of swearing, NOT PROOFREAD‼️‼️

"Missss.. [Y/N]s smoking."

You slap the lanky boy's shoulder harshly as you shove the cigarette box back into your sleeve, watching as your other subordinate's face contort in surprise as Dazai mockingly whines. "Ow.." he rubs his shoulder with bandaged fingers, the ginger next to him looks at you with amusement and confusion. "Where the hell did ya get that?" he asks, you sulk in annoyance from the whining bastard beside you, "Up your ass." a quiet click of the tongue from the ginger can be heard as you defy his genuine question.

Unfortunately, these two are your subordinates, your partners in criminal work, your associated murderers in the underground business. Even though Double Black is all scary and terrifiyingly violent, you thought they were a pair of funny, immature and idiotic assholes.

Dazai Osamu, a lanky, greasy boy wrapped in bandages, loved dying. Yes, he wanted to fucking die, but he doesn't. You sometimes question his skill of staying alive after that many suicide attempts, but it's alright, you suppose. The mafioso had messy brown hair and wore massive suits that did not fit him and constantly smells like dog shit. He claims he has a silver tongue with women but the only woman he 'has' is the front-desk suicide hotline lady. If somebody ever asked your opinion on him, you would answer.. "He's.. interesting."

Next is Chuuya Nakahara, a short, but strong arrogant boy who is frustratingly brutal. Veeery brutal. He's extremely competitive and takes every minor activity as a sweat-inducing challenge. Karaoke is a pain when he's screaming his ass off, simplistic cooking or baking is horrifiying because this shithead works like he's donating food to charity as if his fatass isn't going to inhale everything afterwards, and any sort of video game was devasting, any one.

He had short ginger hair and stormy azure eyes. His fashion sucked until Koyou, a fellow superior of yours knocked some sense into him. Chuuya had a rather small figure but fairly muscled. Yeah, he flexed his abs (ribs) in the mirror randomly. The boy loved fedoras, chokers and classic, fancy clothing that made girls scream 'DAMON TORRANCE 😍‼️' under his Instragram posts. If someone were to ask your opinion on him, you'd say: "He's an alright guy," with a shrug.

Some dumbass landed you three in jail for a reason you'd rather not speak of, and now you have to deal with the aftermath of waiting for your 'beloved' guardian, Mori Ougai to come bail you three out.

"Mackerel," Chuuya jabs Dazai's side, intensely glaring at him. "Why'd you get the guard's attention? I could've smoked." he hisses, causing the taller boy to snap back at him with an eyeroll. "Nah it's fine, I don't have a lighter anyway." you mediate the tension, boredly playing with the flimsy cigarette box in your hand. The redhead scoffs a little, leaning back in the concrete seat of the jailcell, impossibly manspreading further. "We could use Dazai's hot ass breath as a makeshift lighter.." Chuuya suggests with a smirk, the lanky teenager sassily scoffs, "Or rub pipsqueak's oily hair until it catches fire."

"Like- how would that make a fire?" you retort in amusement, "Have you ever been to a science class?" Dazai and Chuuya shrug in sync unshamefully,

"Was busy protectin' gangsta kids."

"Missed most of middle school 'cause of an attempt."

...

"Fair enough," you shrug back, fixing your hair. "Y'know, Boss is gonna kill us when he gets here." you add on, leaning your head against the prison wall. "I know, I'm not fuckin' prepared," Chuuya copies your movements beside you, loosely throwing an arm around your shoulder. Dazai's eyebrows knit in amusement and embarrassment at the sight, "Pipsqueak, you are NOT smooth." the ginger almost glitches as he flew away from you at those words, now chasing the brunette around the jailcell.

"'Playfighting between you guys is a fuckin' hazard, even for the mafia." you mumble, placing the unlit cigarette between your lips to feel the sensation once more. "This isn't playfighting! I'm gonna kill his ass!" Chuuya pants between missed kicks thrown at Dazai. "That's why [Y/N] thinks you give 'dog vibes'!!" the brunette retorts, bringing up a previous conversation based off you psychoanalyzing your coworkers.

"Why you!-" the smaller boy curses, flying off a wall aimed towards Dazai's head. "I'm not wrong though!!" you fling your arms up in surrender, smiling cheekily as Chuuya rolls his eyes. "After this fuckboy, you're next." You swallow thickly in slight fear. You swore you could hear walls crack and floors thump at the loud commotion, drowning out the poised footsteps towards your cell.

"Sir, are these your children?"

A kind, petite policewoman points to you three fighting like rabid animals. Mori Ougai, your tall, diabolic and terrifiying boss smiles fakely, watching his underlings fight in pure irritation.

"Unfortunately."

The tall brunette immediately halts as the ginger almost decks him in the face. Your hands stay frozen in the air as if you've been caught instigating a chicken fight.

Dude, you are so fucked.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #15 chuuya #bsd x reader #15 light novel bsd #chocsra #chuuya x reader #15 dazai x reader #dazai osamu #pm dazai #dazai x reader #crack fic

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kleem-o · 10 months

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So I’ve had this idea where Teenager Tenko catches his mom (reader) and Toshi in the act or being romantic and stuff infront of him?😭 and how he reacts??

LMAOOO PLSSS 😭 this is too funny 😭

Hands up!: Boyfriend!Toshi x reader x platonic yandere son!Tenko

Okay look, first of all let me tell you that mommy!reader LOVES her son and would never want to be caught in the act with Toshi, cuz that would be so traumatizing

THAT being said, Toshi and you are still fools in love and sometimes might slip (happens to the best of us)

Toshi loves you, loves talking to you, loves listening to you, loves touching you.

The only time you allow Toshi and you to get all romantic and stuff, is if Tenko is at school or as long as he’s not home

But what happens if by some reason he comes home early 😭

“Babyy stopp” You giggle as Toshi keeps sucking and kissing the sensitive spot on your neck. It has been a while since you both got really intimate since Tenko was always at home during winter break. “Its okay baby, young Tenko isn’t home, and won’t be home for a while right? Just one round please?” You grab onto his shoulders as he lifts you up, pinning on the wall of your bedroom, your legs locking on his waist while he holds your bottom. You giggle as you both make out, your hand making a mess of his hair. “You know it’s never just one round” “It’ll be quick, we’ll be done before Tenko comes home, hm?” He starts kissing your neck again, leaving hickies which you lightly scolded him for, Tenko was gonna have a panic attack if he notices. You let out a whine and you were finally gonna fold when suddenly— “What the fuck??” You were both surprised by the loud slamming of the door, before it completely disintegrated. You immediately pushed yourself off your boyfriend and silently tried to wipe the spit on your neck. Toshi fixed his hair while you stand protectively in front of him, knowing your son was gonna throw a fit “Oh hi sweetie! When did you got home haha.. Umm how about we go and bake some cookies :D” You were so obviously panicking, and for some reason you weren’t seeing the same thing Toshi was seeing. Toshi is literally so scared of Tenko right now, he really looked like he wanted to kill him. And of course, without a doubt, the angry teenage boy attempted to punch the pro hero. Tenko went insane, how dare this shithead violate my mother? It took you an hour to stop the fight, and you asked Toshi to go home for now, apologizing on the behalf of your son. When you were gonna talk to him about enough is enough, he can’t keep interfering with your love life like this, you noticed that he was furiously scratching his neck, something you haven’t seen in a long time since you adopted him. You immediately stopped his hands, and rubbed some medicine on his neck. He looked up to you with teary eyes and said “Please don’t leave me”

This incident made you more careful when you were goint to be intimate with Toshi

Too careful in fact to the point that Toshi was so touch starved

And Tenko is smiling at a corner, happy seeing Toshi suffer

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familyvideostevie · 6 months

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october seventeenth

day seventeen: eddie munson you injure yourself carving pumpkins with eddie | some blood! fluff, a little suggestive | 1.1k

This whole thing is going to be a pain in the ass to clean up, but everyone is having too much fun for you to mind that much.

The yard in front of the Munson trailer has been taken over by folding tables and teenagers. El had the idea to carve pumpkins all together this year and everyone was determined to make it happen. You and Eddie managed to get the tables from other people in the park and set them out, covering them with tablecloths generously loaned by Mrs. Henderson. Steve dropped off the pumpkins before he went to work and now everyone is hard at work on their carvings.

Well, mostly. Lucas and Mike keep throwing seeds at each other. Max remains focused and is perhaps scarily adept at wielding her carving knife. El and Will have teamed up — he sketched whatever they’re working on with a careful hand and she’s cutting out the pieces.

Dustin won’t let anyone see his.

You and Eddie are next to each other. He’s doing a dragon or something equally fitting and you’ve stuck with a classic face, triangle eyes and a toothy grin.

It’s a perfect day. A little chilly, sure, but you’re in a flannel of Eddie’s and your coat. Steve and Robin should be by later to take everyone to get cider in town. Sometimes, when your life looks like this, you can hardly believe it.

You’re almost done with the mouth when Eddie whistles, high and sharp. You look at him and he’s pointing with his serrated knife. “Less whatever the fuck that is and more carving, Wheeler!” he yells. Mike flips him the bird.

You don’t look away from your boyfriend because you don’t have to. He’s yours. His hair is up in a messy bun at your urging so he doesn’t get pumpkin guts in his curls. His tongue pokes out as he goes back to carving, his attention to detail endearing and impressive at the same time. He’s so pretty that you just stare and stare until your knife slips from the pumpkin and slices your palm.

“Shit,” you hiss, quiet as you can.

Eddie looks up immedietly. You drop the knife with a clatter and grab your wrist as if that’ll stop the cut from welling up with red. “Hey,” he says, putting down his own knife, “You okay? What happened?”

A few drops of blood run down your palm and drip onto the table — it’s not deep, you don’t think, but it’s long and it sure as hell hurts. And there’s…quite a bit of blood.

“Oh no,” El says. The kids — teenagers, you remind yourself — stop their shenanigans to stare.

You look at Eddie with wide eyes and he quickly ascertains what you’re telling him. “She’s fine,” he tells them. “Right?”

You nod.

“So go back to carving and be careful, shitheads.”

Eddie reaches for you, one palm under your bleeding one and the other on your elbow. He pulls you to the trailer.

“Sorry,” you say, not sure why. Eddie cuts you a glare and ignores the apology. You’re bleeding enough that it’s getting on the hand he cups to catch the drops, which is both mortifying and a bit gross.

“I’m bleeding on you,” you tell him. He laughs.

“I think I’m well acquainted with your fluids by now, sweetheart.” You scrunch up your nose at him and your face heats.

“Gross, Eddie.” He laughs again.

“Hold that over the sink, okay? And — yeah, let’s rinse it, too.” He turns on the tap and makes sure it’s not freezing before guiding your hand under it. The water stings a bit but you keep it there as he heads to the bathroom.

You know he has a first aid kit in there but you don’t think you’ve ever needed it in the time you’ve been together. He returns with…a huge box.

“Why is it so big?” you ask.

He makes a face and you know he’s considering making a dirty joke but he refrains. “Have you met me?” he says instead. “I’m clumsy as shit, sweetheart.”

It makes you laugh. He looks triumphant. “Don’t I know it.”

“Plus, I burn myself all the time with hot glue making shit for Hellfire.”

He cracks open the box and pulls out a tube and some bandages. “It’s just a cut, Eddie,” you say. “Sorry.”

You turn the tap off and he holds his hand out for yours. He dries it gently with a kitchen towel before leaning in to kiss your hairline lightly. “No sorries. It’s fine. Lemme get you fixed up.”

You lean back on the counter. His hands are now clean of your blood — he must have washed them in the bathroom — and your bleeding has slowed to a sluggish ooze. He studies your palm for a few seconds.

“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay with a bandage. If it doesn’t stop bleeding we should maybe go get it stitched, so watch it, okay?”

You nod. That does not sound fun. He gently rubs some antibiotic gel on it and then tears open a big bandage with his teeth and spreads it gently over your cut.

“How does that feel?” He looks at you with those big brown eyes and honest to God, it doesn’t hurt anymore. You’ve always thought that Eddie was a bit magic with his booming voice and his tenderness underneath the leather and the metal. It’s so obvious when he looks at you like this.

“Better,” you say. He smiles slightly and brings your palm to his lips to press a gentle kiss to the bandage. “Wow, thank you.”

He winks. “You gonna tell me how this happened? No offense, sweetheart, but you’re making the simplest jack-o-lantern I’ve ever seen.”

You tear your gaze from his and duck your head. “I got distracted,” you mutter.

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie taps your chin with his knuckle but you don’t look up. You can hear his grin. “By what?” He pokes your side and you squirm. “Or by who?”

“Eddie,” you whine, pitching forward to rest your forehead on his shoulder.

“I get it,” he says. “Your boyfriend is like, super hot.”

“I’m going outside now.” You do not move.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “I won’t tell anyone you have a crush on me. Plus, you can’t go until you pay the fee.”

That gets you to pull away from him so you can show him your bemused expression. “The fee?”

He nods. “This hospital ain’t free.” He puckers his lips like a fish and you roll your eyes.

“Ah, the fee. Of course.” You lean in and kiss him softly, despite the joke, and he melts into you for a few moments before you pull away, injured hand held close to your chest.

“Fee paid, I guess.”

“Alright, Dr. Munson. We’ve got pumpkins to carve and teens to wrangle.” He groans but lets you drag him back outside. Yeah, even though your hand throbs, at least you’ve got this goon by your side.

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here! promptober masterlist, find all fics under #fvspromptober23

#fvspromptober23 #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff

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the-velvet-worm · 1 year

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rewatching season 1 (after watching the campaign) is making me finally understand Taliesin’s attitude of “I love Percy so much but I also hate him and he’s an asshole,” bc like!!!! holy shit Percy is fucking tragic. like goddamn you can fit so much trauma in this bad boy. but at the same time he is so selfish and irresponsible sometimes!!!! like the same guy who’s always rolling his eyes at his friends having fun is also running around in a silly little bird mask shooting people whenever a voice in his head tells him to!!!! and yes I know Orthax is not his fault necessarily but like goddamn Percy there are other people in the world besides you!!! I think there’s a reason why I very much prefer Percy’s character arc post-Briarwood arc, because even though he is still selfish and irresponsible at times after it, he’s fuckin trying and that’s more than most can say lol. and although I find the phrasing a bit reductive, Percy is, after everything, still very much a teenage asshole. again, through no fault of his own, his late teens and early 20s are nothing but endless loops of nightmares and horror and he never had a real chance to mature past that. anyway all that to say, Percival de Rolo is a hot fuckin mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way. not to sound like every other bitch and their mother on the internet but goddamn I love flawed characters but mostly I love realistic characters. and Percy is about as close to any shithead traumatized teenager I’ve ever met, and I love him for it and I also hate him (affectionate)

#I am so sorry for this post I just had to get some feelings out for a minute skdjfjsfsjfds #tlovm #the legend of vox machina #percival de rolo #percy de rolo #critical role #critical role spoilers idk #cr1 #vox machina #taliesin jaffe #btw for more unhinged rambles like this pls check out my podcast where I talk about how much I love/hate Percy a lot more #it's called Amateur Hour and you're welcome

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mirrorballshiningjustforyou · 3 months

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Hi , I wanted to ask if you could do TBP boys relationship / bonds with each one hcs ( U know , Finney with Griffin , Billy with Vance , it might be long or too much but hope you write it whenever you can )

Glad to see you're having fun outside Tumblr <)

thank you!! anons are so nice (sometimes)

TBP BOYS INDIVIDUAL FRIENDSHIP HCS

1. Finney and Robin

as we all know, they are friends in the movie

so of course i think they’d spend a decent amount of time together.

besides the kidnapping stuff, if the black phone was just your typical 70s slice of life movie, i think i’d love it.

they most likely do the niche things you’d expect middle school boys to do when they hang out. (not nowadays but whatever)

since finney isn’t allowed to watch rated r / horror movies, i think robin would take finn to see one atleast ONCE in their friendship.

they also most likely just have deep and long conversations about their home lives whenever they hang

finney insists on sleepovers, robin is always down as long as it’s at finn’s house (they always end up going to robins house)

robin definitely has and will beat up bullies for finn.

they also have phones in this era, so they have alot of phone conversations, they probably spend hours just sitting and talking to eachother whenever they don’t have to worry about school.

they’re just so iconic together. they don’t fight, if they have disagreements they’re stupid ones, and they’re just bffs for life

2. Bruce and Vance

polar opposites.

in this case, it’s a good thing.

bruce is sweet, he’s nice towards EVERYBODY. even the meanies like vance.

vance fights, he’s loud when he wants to be, he’s a rebellious teenager. (bruce probably got straight A’s)

and vance knows that bruce is just an outgoing and kind dude, which is what he HATES about him.

“why the hell are you so nice to everyone, shitheads don’t fucking deserve it” - (idk take this as you want, i just know vance has said this to bruce before)

vance was shocked when bruce randomly asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime (he thought he was gay) [ reminder it’s the 70s ]

but they have a semi-decent relationship (friends, platonic, blah blah blah)

he grows to be comfortable with bruce and how he is.

so eventually bruce gets to see the softer side of vance.

not always cursing, voice not constantly at volume 350, just Vance Hopper being himself.

i’d like to think Vance is very introverted, he’s rude to people who try to engage with him because he has trust issues and doesn’t want to get hurt (in the sense that i think he’s just like me)

3. Billy and Griffin

they’re so cute

they definitely go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood and spend the majority of their time together

AGHHH IM FANGIRLING

their moms are probably friends i can feel it

they’re probably childhood friends that are gonna grow up to be like brothers to eachother

griffin probably gets into accidents a lot AND I JUST KNOW BILLY KEEPS A FIRST AID ON HIM

they probably take bike rides together in the mornings and afternoons, just talking or laughing together

i’d just imagine they’re completely wholesome

#the black phone #tbp x reader #the black phone x reader #tbp #the black phone x you #tbp finney #vance the black phone #tbp fanfic #robin arellano x reader #finney blake x reader #finney the black phone

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pacifymebby · 1 year

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Ultraviolence // Billy x Stu x Reader

Chapter 2 // Gloomy Girl

"Who's scaring her now? Fuckrag..."

Stu threw a tea towel at his friend as Billy gave in and put you down. It was strange how carefully he had let you go, placing you back down on the floor gently, his hands lingering on your shoulders to steady you.

When he placed you there backing away slowly, hands raised to surrender, placing the kitchen knife down slowly too, you felt that childish kind of upset. The kind that made you want to lie about your fear just to spite him.

"It's alright angelface Billy was only messing around weren't you, shithead?"

"Yeah, shit I'm sorry doll that was too far... I just wanted to show you what you're up against..." said Billy, hand behind his neck, eyes glowing gloomy and guilty.

"Yeah babe, Billy just wants you to be prepared..." cooed Stu, rubbing your arms slow and affectionately, he could feel your shaking and he actually did feel guilty as he rested his chin on top of your head and held you reassuringly.

You weren't on their list, they had no intention of really hurting you. And Billy shouldn't have tried to scare you like that... His temper had gotten the best of him, Stu could see that from the look in Billys eyes. Billy was just angry that you didn't value your life, and that was a difficult anger for him to handle.

"Prepared for what? I'm not exactly Slasher victim material..." you looked away dismissing them again, determined to pretend that nothing they did bothered you. You weren't going to let two stupid teenage boys scare you.

"No?" grinned Stu, his eyes lighting up as curiosity got the better of him, he had a feeling he knew what that meant. "Pretty girl... Almost always home alone... She's kind of quiet but she's got that moody, bad girl attitude so, she doesn't have many friends... If Michael Myers was stalking you sweetheart he'd Know he could get away with it..."

"I'm not a horror movie victim waiting to happen shut up Stu..." you rolled your eyes trying to shrug him away from you, "Look, I'm not dumb alright, there's always a motive when it comes to this shit and I didn't even know Casey and Steve... Why would the same person who killed prom king and queen in the making, want to kill me?"

"Doesn't have to be a motive..." shrugged Billy, "there isn't always a motive honey..."

"Yeah babygirl there isnt always a motive, sometimes people just get a thirst for killing... One day they just snap," he grinned pointing his fingers to his head like a gun, his eyes going wide and crazy, his smile never faltering, "they get the bloodlust and then... Well they just choose the prettiest victims..."

"Well," you said, looking at him unimpressed and straight lipped, "if thats the case they'll get through the cheerleading squad before they get to me won't they," you sneered, narrowing your eyes at him, running out of patience for them. "Besides... Even if i am i don't see how its your business."

If Billy hadn't scared you, you wouldn't have said it. You didnt go out of your way to be the moody, bitchy kind of girl, and you had the feeling Billy and Stu weren't the kind of people who would put up with that either. This was just another act of defensive spite.

"Well of course its Our Business" cried Stu, he was still grinning, letting out a disbelieving laugh but Billy was frowning again, he'd gone quiet, hands clasped together on the counter. It was almost exactly as you'd expected from him. Enough that ut made you smirk a little, until Stu finished his sentence and knocked your confidence.

"We're your friends y/n obviously its our business..."

Were they?

"Obviously..." you said, expressionless again, your tone too dry for Billys liking, his temper flaring so that he found himself struggling to swallow it down.

"Obviously." he said through gritted teeth, looking up at you from under his lashes, that brooding look returned and flourishing so that you felt yourself squirming under it.

"Is it," you said swallowing your nerves, eyeing the kife as if you suspected he'd do it again, "cause you guys just started following me around one day and you never exactly told me why... I hardly even know you,"

Now you looked as sullen and brooding as Billy, accidentally showing them a weakness, accidentally letting them know you were as insecure as you looked sometimes when you walked with your hands in your pockets and refused to look anyone in the eye.

"We prefer the phrase 'spending time with you' actually," said Stu, hand on heart pretending to be more offended than he was.

"And we've tried to get to know you," said Billy, watching how your eyes flickered between the kife and him. "You're just not letting us..." he stepped closer to you then, you could tell he was being careful not to startle you.

"But now we know how you'd fare in a horror movie, so, that's something..." Stu said smiling as he walked his fingers down your arm and took the jagged broken glass from your hands.

"Smashing your glass, good choice kiddo," Billy split a sideways smile.

"Shows she's got a strong Gut instinct!" giggled Stu almost choking on his own laugh as he sniggered triumphantly.

But Billy wasn't laughing, his eyes still dark as he patted you on the cheek, "smart cookie."

You just stood there glaring back at him, not appreciating the patronising gesture.

"Yeah for a little squirt you sure are feisty," stu wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, giving you a little squeeze before letting you go.

"Alright doll we gotta shoot," said Billy then, a glance at the clock reminding him that he had other places to be.

"Yeah see you round baby girl," Stu said running his fingers through your hair before throwing an arm around Billy.

"Call me that again and I'll gut you..." you said without thinking, the words leaving your lips too quickly for you to register what youd actually said.

When you did realise it was too late, they were grinning, Stu struggling to hold in his amusement, Billy just watching you, a smirk on his lips as he shook his head.

"Lock your door y/n" he said as he left, Stu following close behind him, "and no open windows."

"Yeah, you're good but you're no Jamie Lee..."

"Bye," you said giving them nothing, no promise to lock your door, no laugh for Stu's insensitive little joke as you shut the door in their faces.

It wasn't that the idea of a murderous creep didn't scare you, it would have done if you'd believed for a second that anyone was out to get you... It was just that.

No one was out to get you. You were pretty sure that billy and stu were the only people from school who had ever noticed your existence. You were pretty sure that unless it was them, the killer didn't even know your name. Let alone where you lived.

So you went to sleep that evening peaceful as a cloud, and when you woke up the next morning you remained just that. You didn’t feel like going to school and you weren’t sure there was much point either. The whole school would be talking about Casey and Steve and as fascinating as the details were, you weren't sure how many times you could watch some thickskulled boy use them to try and scare a girl into scooting closer to him for comfort. It was a pretty strange way of flirting as far as you were concerned, and these murders had only made it a more popular method.

So you didn’t go into school, instead you slipped into the first set of clean clothes you could find, blue jeans which hung off your hips, some horror move themed crop top and the first button down shirt you saw as you wandered downstairs into your kitchen. You opened the fridge, yawning into your hand as you scanned the contents and smirked when you remembered Stu’s complaints the evening before. He was right, there was pretty much nothing in your fridge, nothing you could really eat anyway. But that was because it was pretty much always just you in your house.

Your mother didn't just work away sometimes, she practically went out of her way to do so. Her office was in the city and so more often than not she'd stay in hotels throughout the week, only returning at weekends. Sometimes she didn't return at weekends, citing "overtime" as an excuse.

You didnt blame her though, how coukd you. She had the choice between coming home and wallowing in the reminders of everything she'd lost by putting her faith in the wrong man, or staying in the city, living as close to a young, single woman lifestyle as she could. Sometimes in life you have to be selfish, that was something she'd taught you from a young age. It would have been hypocritical for her to be the martry in this case.

You yawned again, resting your head against the fridge grabbing some milk for your cereal and wandering to the cupboard to get a bowl.

You had every intention of having a slow, sleepy little day, padding around the house in a pair of thick socks, watching horror movies from under a blanket in the living room.

The day drifted by, you half heartedly watching a handful of videos you'd rented on Monday and already seen before.

It was warm beneath your blanket and the house was quiet, exactly as you liked it. It was definitely better than a day in class, drifting from math to lit to lunch, your whole day soundtracked by everyones musings on the recent drama.

Unfortunately for you however you hadn't counted on the fact that although your peers might not have noticed your absence your teachers would have, the principle would have, and more crucially than that, the cops who were interviewing every student at the school would have.

So when a knock sounded on your front door at 2pm you arose from your half asleep state, left the movie you'd been drifting in and out of to play, and wandered absentmindedly to the door.

You weren't expecting anyone but it didn't occur to you that if that was the case, it was curious for someone to be knocking on your door in the middle of the day.

Thats why you appeared startled when you came face to face with Deputy Riley and Sheriff Burke.

You blinked back at them, your eyes struggling to adjust to the light having been sitting in the dark all day.

"Good afternoon Miss l/n," started the Sheriff, his eyes scanning over you. For a moment you thought you saw suspicion in his eyes and wondered why. Of course the moment he spoke you realised...

You were supposed to be in school.

"We were scheduled to interview you today at your school and when you didn't show for registration this morning well... What with recent events, people got worried..."

"Oh," you chewed your cheek, voice quiet, a little scratchy from having not spoken to anyone all day. "I guess i forgot to call," you winced, rubbing your eyes and doing your best to appear unwell, "I'm sick Sheriff," you said, knowing that thanks to your having spent half the day napping you probably did look a little unwell.

"Sick?" he raised his brow eyes scanning over you once more, "well," he said, wincing as he spoke, "i suppose 'sick' isn't the worst state to have found you in y/n... Mind if we come in and we'll try to keep this interview brief?" he asked already moving to step inside as you faltered, tripping over your sock as you tried to move out of his way.

"Woah there y/n, be careful," chuckled Dewy, catching you awkwardly as he too stepped inside your home.

You smiled shyly at him in thanks and did your best to tread more carefully as you followed them both into the kitchen.

As they past the living room door you saw the Sheriff pause, his eyes fixed on the television which was still playing Prom night. You winced when you realised it was reaching the films climax. The killer chasing Wendy down the corridors of the school, axe in hand ready to strike.

"You like those scary movies do you y/n?" he asked.

"Some of them yeah," you said, "sometimes anyway... I'm only watching this now because I rented it from the store last week and its the only thing i have to watch." you tried not to smile so nervously but having both him and Deputy Riley watching you was making you nervous.

"Unfortunate timing," said the Sheriff, his voice giving nothing away.

"I guess... The movies not real though... What happened to Casey and Steve is..." you said trailing off, looking at them both with watery eyes. You weren't as upset as you were making out, you just needed to make sure they believed you were as scared and upset as you would expect a teenage girl to be.

"Is that why you stayed home sick today y/n?" asked Dewy, a waver of sympathy in his eyes.

"Theres safety in numbers you know y/n youd have been better coming into school instead of staying home alone..."

"No," you said quickly, "i really am sick, I locked all my doors and windows to keep any intruders out..." you said remembering what Billy had told you the night before, hoping it was the right thing to tell the Sheriff. "You're interviewing everyone from school? Does that mean you think... A student did it?" you asked chewing your cheek nervously, looking up at the two officer who glanced at eachother before Dewy answered.

"We just want to make sure we speak to everybody kid, the more people we talk to the more we can find out..."

"Oh," you said softly, nodding your head, your thumb hovering in front of your lips as you fought the urge to bite on it.

Instead you began playing with your hair, eyes fixed on the counter.

"So y/n, anything you can tell me at all would be very helpful... How well did you know Casey and Steve?"

"I... I didn't really know them at all... They're... Were? In the grade above me but um, i guess i know steve was on the football team?" you said, no longer having to worry about how well you could lie, because this wasn't a lie. Everything you'd learnt about Casey Becker and Steve Ore was through eavesdropping on other peoples conversations, "oh and i guess i know they were dating,"

"But you never spoke to either of them, didn't know them.."

"No," you said again, biting the tip of your little finger. In your head you heard the echo of Billys voice telling you not to do things like that.

"Makes you look nervous,"

You knew he was right, it did make you look nervous. It was a nervous habit afterall.

"Did you ever hear anyone talk about them? I know how you kids gossip, ever hear anyone mention anything about Casey or Steve?"

"No," you shrugged thinking back on all the times you'd heard people call Casey a slut or joke about Steve's penis size. Obviously you'd heard rumours about them, about the getting hot and heavy beneath the bleachers ect.. But none of it seemed relevent to the Sheriffs investigation so you didn't say a word.

"Alright," he hummed, pausing for a moment, looking you up and down again so that you were left squirming beneath his gaze. "Alright sweetheart, one last thing before we go, your dad ever take you hunting?"

You bit your lip, biting back the sting. He didn't even seem to notice what he'd said until there were wounded tears in your eyes.

"I don't have a dad Sheriff Burke," you said through gritted teeth, trying to hide the way his words had hurt you. Because they shouldn't have hurt you as much as they did, but when your mom was away and you'd been left alone for a week already, you couldn't help but feel like the Sheriff was rubbing salt in an already open wound.

"Shit," you heard him breath as realisation hit him, "I'm sorry y/n, i didn't think, I really am sorry," he said, the sympathy in his eyes only making you feel worse.

Dewy offered you a sympathetic smile, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze as they went to leave. You had returned to that sullen glazed expression, one which left both men feeling guilty.

"Feel better soon y/n... And remember, safety in numbers, you don't spend too much time here on your own got it?"

"Uhuh Sheriff Burke, I'll do my best," you said closing the door behind them and returning to the lounge where your movie had finished playing, the crackling fuzz of the static grating on you as the speakers buzzed with white noise.

You winced turning the volume down, hitting rewing and watching the image scramble and reverse. You watched Alex come back to life, saw a girls slit throat fused back together by a man in a sparkling balaclava.

When you were finally back to the beginning of the movie you hit play, wandering back out into the kitchen humming to yourself as you debated what to make for your dinner.

You stopped humming however when you heard a noise upstairs. Your ears burned with the sound... Like something landing on the floor... It hadn't been particularly loud, so it hadn't been something falling over. No, it had to have been a controlled landing. Something you weren't supposed to hear.

You moved slowly, trying to stay quiet yourself. Reaching for the smallest kitchen knife, slipping it up your sleeve just in case.

You stepped away from the counter and walked slowly towards the kitchen doorway, your ears listening carefully for any movement upstairs.

In the living room Prom Night was playing, you could hear the twang of conversation through the speakers. It wasn't loud enough to drown out the sound of feet on the stairs however and when you looked up from where you were stood, body pressed against the doorframe, you saw a pair of black boots on the stairs.

You let out a little sigh, relieved but also a little fed up.

"I'd have answered my front door Billy," you said walking into the hallway, arms folded across your chest, trying not to show how much you enjoyed seeing his brows knit in confusion.

"You heard me?" he smirked, his grin that crooked one which had always warmed you to him, but then his eyes turned serious and his voice dropped, "saw a cop car outside y/n, you had me thinking the worst..."

"Yeah i heard you," you said slipping the knife from up your sleeve, "funny," you mused with a little smirk, "i thought you were coming to kill me..." you said holding the knife up to his face before turning away, going to put it back in the block now you knew you didnt need it.

"Well at least i know you're being careful," he smirked, opening your front door instead of following you.

"Honey I'm home!" Stu called out in a sing song voice which made you roll your eyes and mumble a little prayer for patience.

When he came swinging round the doorframe into the kitchen however, you couldn't help but feel a glow of happiness in your stomach at the sight of him. One which left you struggling to hide your smile though you tried desperately to hold it back.

He'd been to the store and had brought several bags worth of groceries, all of which were apparently for you because before you could ask what he was doing, he'd started unpacking everything. Give it ten minutes and you'd feel guilty of course, there was a reason you didn't really stock your own fridge and it wasn't that you didn't know where the store was.

You weren't sure what to do with yourself, just stood there, arms wrapped round yourself, watching as Stu organised your fridge.

"Uh guys..." you started, your voice a little too quiet for Stu to hear as he chatted away to you and Billy about Randy and some drama that had gone down at the video store. You went to open your mouth to speak again but Billy caught your eyes and got there first.

"We thought something might have happened to you when you didn't show at school today..."

"Yeah," agreed Stu, "figured we'd swing by and check on our baby girl," he said pulling an overly saccharine smile at you as he finished unpacking the shopping.

"Then we get here and we see a cop car outside your house... Now I'll admit y/n, that did scare me." finsihed Billy. Whilst he'd been talking to you he'd come closer, close enough to brush your hair from your face, and when he had he didnt step away.

"We thought you might have been victim number 3!"

"Tact Stu..." said billy through gritted teeth, rolling his eyes but softening again when he returned his focus to you. He was concentrating, his eyes full of concern as he let his fingers push a stray lock of hair from your cheek, tucking it behind your ear as he spoke. "Whyd you stay home y/n? You'd have been safer in..."

"Jesus Billy you sound just like the cops," you said folding your arms across your chest, "i skipped cause i wanted to skip alright?" you drawled, eyes offering him nothing but sullen darkness. You were the only person who could match his own.

"Whyd you wanna skip?" he asked looking at you as if he really was terribly puzzled by your answer. Stu however sniggered, throwing a packet of chips at his friend.

"Who doesn't wanna skip school dumb ass?"

"You might be the resident shithead Stu but somehow i think our little y/n's smarter than that..." said Billy tight smirk as he chucked the chips right back at his friend. When Stu caught them he grinned all 'why thank you kind sir' as he opened the pack and shoved a handful in his mouth.

You bit back a smile at the sight of Stu stuffing his face, his behaviour so cartoonish you almost couldn't believe he was real. But Billy was still fixing you with that needy look, waiting for an answer.

"I'm just not feeling too great Billy, i got a headache an stuff," you said hoping he'd buy the same lie you'd given the cops. If he wasn't going to accept the truth he could have the same lie you'd given Sheriff Burke and Dewy Riley. You didnt owe him the truth if he wasn't going to believe you.

But Billy was smarter than the cops it seemed.

"You're not sick... That what you told the cops?"

"Uhuh."

"Come here," he said, his brows knitted together as he pushed the back of his hand to your forehead and peered at you, no longer concerned as such but determined. "You're not sick," he confirmed, "why'd you lie to the cops?"

"You work for them or something?" you asked dryly. "Its like i said dumbass, i skipped cause i felt like it..." you said shrugging him off and pushing past the two of them, dismissing yourself with "You're making me miss my movie."

You were half expecting them to leave you alone then, half expecting them to come settle in right beside you on the sofa. You weren't sure what you would have rathered either.

On the one hand you didn't really like being alone in your mothers house all the time. You refused to talk to yourself when you were alone because it was cliche and ridiculous, but the silence drove you mad too sometimes. On the other hand, the boys would drive you insane too.

"You really feeling sick?" asked Stu, throwing himself down on the couch beside you, offering you some chips from the bag he'd near enough demolished already. "Suit yourself," he smirked when you recoiled.

"Yeah..."

"She's not sick Stu don't believe her," said Billy again still frowning at you when he perched himself on the arm of the sofa, his feet resting on the cushions near yours. He leant forward with his elbows resting on his knees, looking down at you. "Whats the matter y/n why you lying to us?"

"Cause i already tried telling you the truth and it wasn't good enough... Shithead..." you grumbled hugging your knees to your chest, eyes fixed on the tv screen and the movie as you tried your best to ignore your "friends."

"Is it cause of Steve and Casey?" he asked ignoring the fact that you were obviously ignoring him, "you scared?"

"No," you rolled your eyes, speaking with a sigh, trying desperately to communicate your boredom with the situation. But that was the problem, you were trying too hard. Billy could see right through the front you were putting on and knew something was up, whether you were scared or disgusted or something else, he knew this hostility you were trying on was a cover up for something else.

"Well you're coming into school tomorrow, I'm gonna come pick you up to make sure," he said finally, his own sullen eyes fixed on the tv now too, both of you glaring at the scene which was playing out. Both of you determined not to show the other that they were getting under your skin.

#Billy loomis x reader #Billy x stu x reader #scream 1996 #Slasher x reader

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chaifootsteps · 6 months

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This is off topic. I just wanted to say that the Stardew Valley game has a fantastic relaxing vibe. I listen to "no commentary gameplays" of it sometimes while going to bed. It's something I probably would've played as a kid or teenager. But I feel like some part of the fandom has ruined the game for me.

The game only has one black character, a half black/white character, and a customizable player character that can be a poc. Every other character in the game is white. This is nothing new, but it's still disappointing. Now the part where some of the fandom comes in and ruins it for me is when they get defensive over this topic and dismiss anyone even discussing this. To some people it feels normal ("given the setting of a small town with farmers blah blah"), it's how it should be (for accuracy), it "shouldn't have diversity just to have it", and it's keeping politics out of the game. These are viewpoints I saw when I was trying to read about a diversity mod for the game that added different ethnic goups, diff. cultural stuff, had gender diversity, etc.

That infuriates me and frankly makes me a little sad. To merely exist as a poc (or nobinary or trans) is a politic statement to these shitheads. I'm over white people being the default and if anyone else exists then that has to mean something. Why do poc need a reason to exist? Why does the maximum need to be a token? Also, wtf is wrong with having a diverse group of farmers just because? Who does that hurt besides a racist asshole's good time??? SV has wizards, you can turn people into birds, but to have black, asian, indigenous, etc. farmers breaks the immersion and fantasy? Fuck out of here.

Stuff like this just kills my enthusiasm to ever play the game myself.

It's true, a bad fandom can ruin a good thing so fast. Sorry your experience with this one has been so shitty.

That said, Stardew Valley's fantastic -- it's one of the few games I've played through repeatedly -- and so, so moddable. Seriously, if you're going to get it, definitely get it on PC and fill it with as many poc characters as your heart desires.

#Anonymous #Stardew Valley #actual blog post

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grishaverse-chaos · 30 days

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The Darkling

why I like them: could have been SO GOOD in theory okay? I will never shut up about this because "character who everyone thinks is evil is actually just the victim of a smear campaign and some really bigoted propaganda" is SUCH a good character concept and I wish darkling fans were right about him because it would be so fucking cool and aesthetic

why I don't: he uh. he isn't that. he could have been so fucking iconic and instead he was just a vicious murderer. who grooms teenage girls.

favourite episode/scene: LOVE the bit where alina stabs his hand in s1e8. tbf that's more of a fav alina moment than anything else lmao, let me think... okay fr I love the "fine. make me your villain" scene bc it just really showcases who he is as a character and how he sees himself (hint: those two things are not the same)

favourite season/movie: imo he's better written in s1 of the show than in s2, idk though. and I do love his story in the kos duology lmao

favourite line: that one bit in rule of wolves where he says "everything I have done has been for ravka" because it's so clearly Not True and yet.... he clearly thinks it is.... so where does intent stop and impact begin...... it's deep okay

favourite outfit: purely for shits and giggles I'm going to say his black kefta in s2 where there's bits of gold bc I loveeee people being haunted by those they've wronged and I think alina haunting him really fits into that theme

otp: no thank you! in all honesty he prob could have been Fixed™ if he'd had a genuine relationship at an earlier age but he didn't so I refuse to inflict him on any other character. darkolai is interesting to consider though bc I feel like the ways they see themselves clash so heavily.... it's about self image and it's about villainy and law and justice and power and and and. they would Not be a good relationship but I think they should interact more for the Narrative

brotp: his sister ulla! they'd have such a fun sibling dynamic lmao I think it'd be sweet

headcanon: tbh I don't tend to think about him much beyond the big narrative stuff so I'm struggling to think of something that fits the genre of "headcanon".... but let's humanise him a little! I bet he reads really literary fiction and gets ever-so-slightly pretentious about it lmao

unpopular opinion: is it unpopular to say that despite his original good intentions he's a bit of a dickhead and not as smart as he thinks he is? in some corners of the fandom it totally is but idk

a wish: at this point there's not much more that could be done with his character beyond what's already been set up (him being mercy killed so he's not suffering in the thorn wood for all eternity) so I'm going to say that I hope his stans get better reading comprehension bc dear GOD some of the takes I see (posted in the alina tag btw I'm not deliberately seeking them out) are absolutely horrendous. is that too salty? perhaps. idc though it's my blog and darkling stans are free to block me if they don't like my takes

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: I swear if he goes NEAR alina genya or zoya again I will reach through the fourth wall to kill him myself. only half joking btw I'd be so pissed. imo they've all had the closure they need narratively and for him to seek them out again would be a dick move of the highest degree

5 words to best describe them: used to have good intentions. that might be cheating but idk if I can pick 5 random adjectives lmao

my nickname for them: I call him darkles sometimes (bc it's funny and also I think it'd piss him off if people called him that in-universe) also a lot of less positive nicknames ("that prick", "shithead" etc) but idk if that counts

#anyways sorry this took FOREVER it's been sitting in my drafts for weeks #but this was fun to think about! he's not my fav character as a person but holy shit is he interesting to analyse #anti darkling #<- just to be on the safe side #mayhem.txt #answered

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wawamouse · 1 month

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The Oz community pool AU

(Same number of deaths) (jk) (maybe)

Some thoughts:

(i'm thinking everyone is like..... 5-10 years younger for this au)

Vern is the shithead parent with the shithead kids who always gets banned from the pool before the season is over and then spends all of autumn getting revenge on the randos who "wronged" him. Rinse and repeat.

Tobias is there trying to have a Nice Time™️ with the kids (he forgot to renew the Club Membership or something so he’s slumming it at the public pool and trying to make a nice time out of it for the children’s sake)

Rebadow comes to the pool everyday full decked out in a hat and shades, fully slathered in sunscreen. Sits at a table with an umbrella or drags a sun chair underneath one of them and reads a newspaper/book/magazine. Sometimes he comes along with a fancy lady with a picnic basket and the regulars are like "Ooh hot date, Bob?" but it's his mom

Busmalis is in the lap pool every morning as soon as the place opens, doing laps (breastroke or floating on his back with a kickboard).

Keller does NOT work at the pool anymore but he keeps letting the moms think he does because he still sometimes does lawn stuff on the other side of the fence. He is conning the ladies for their money. He is not above conning Toby for his money also. (Cue Torrid Summer Affair)

Miguel is a swim instructor for like the 7-10 yos and they loooooooooove him. He’s the COOL 😎 swim teacher. He’ll chuck them into the deep end after class until his arms get tired, and also lets the kiddies hold onto his shoulders while he tows them across the pool. he has a whole system of stickers and end-of-week prizes (a rubber bracelet or a cookie or something from the snack shack that he gets for free as an employee anyway). The moms also love him lol.

Chico is a slacker life guard. He doesn’t care (fuck them kids). Like, he’ll still save people if it doesn’t look like anyone else is going to notice and do his job for him, but his main motivation is just not getting fired. He's always chatting up hot mamacitas or talking to his friend by the lifeguard chair. Mainly, he likes blowing his whistle and yelling at people to walk, though as much as he complains about his stupid job, he picks up the most shifts and also helps lug equipment around for the swim classes and subs for the higher level swimmers (easier: all he has to do is make sure they don't drown during laps and "give encouragement") (He heckles them). And yes he does have a big fat crush on Miguel in this (who do you think I am) but he still denies it even though they have hooked up like every summer since they started working at the pool together

Other lifeguards: Huseni Mershah - NOT GOOD AT IT BUT HE'S FIRST AID CERTIFIED; Diane Whittlesey - just 1 of her bajillion jobs; Scott Ross - fired after 2 days when a kid nearly drowned while he was on duty and did nothing; Tony Masters - Clocks in and out with no fuss and nothing crazy EVER happens during his watch but he also works the least number of shifts

McManus is the long suffering general manager of the pool. He is very McManus about it. I feel like I don't have to explain this. His big thing is that he wants to win like a prize or some kind of recognition from the city council for his work in transforming the community through pool activities. He's setting his eyes on the civic center next but first he has to prove that his pool activities are a success (something that is hampered by employees and community members alike)

Ryan runs the snack shack and also is potentially in charge of a ring of teenage delinquents who run around the pool pickpocketing and terrorising the younger kids and breaking rules and also sneaking back in after hours to make out and do dumb teenager shit. He's still hustling of course (selling drugs, etc) but he also runs a tight ship—no slacking off if you work in the hot humid climate of the food counter 😔 There's money to be made. Nachos and ice cream to sell. Do NOT open the mini cooler under the counter that says O'REILY on it...

Said runs a summer camp type program for young black youth and brings them to the pool every afternoon that there are no other activities or field trips planned (Arif, Khan, Bismilla, and White are counselors and alternate coming along to help supervise or stay with the kids who opted not to go to the pool). He and McManus often get into debates/discussion about What The Community Really Needs

Groves is there but no one knows what he does and there's a rumor going around among the kids that he ate his mother (He is the pool service technician, but yes, he does also creepily wander around the premises)

The Italians have like a whole corner of the pool seats always blocked out for themselves. It doesn't matter how early in the day you get there, they will always have that corner and they will always be there (albeit family members rotating in and out throughout the day) until closing time

#text #oz hbo #oz au

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multitrackdrifting · 3 months

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I think this recent trend of remaking stuff but attempting to fix its "mistakes" in the form of being self-aware about the different cultural attitudes in the work has produced some funny ass results. I don't dislike the notion of iterating on a previous work for a modern Era, Pluto is literally this to Astro Boy and it handles things with a lot more tact than some of the brazen racism inherent to the godfather of manga, but sometimes you get a very half-baked idea of what's wrong with a work without being transformative in a way that feels satisfying to experience for a new generation. I don't think anyone wants to watch something that's like "oh man we're a lot more self aware now right" *winks at the audience*

I saw something like that said about the Live Action Avatar show that's coming out and I rolled my eyes. I don't think there is a less satisfying way to tell a story than to assume the audience isn't smart enough to tell that a teenage boy acting like an ignorant shithead while maturing up a LOT from that initial attitude over the series is meaningful character growth. Having flawed heroes is necessary for most stories to function..

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throttlegainwell · 1 month

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This is kinda late, but for the director’s cut ask, I’d love to hear your thoughts on “Dear Whoever You Are.” It always gets me.

Aw, thank you! And thank you for the ask. (And no worries--I wouldn't have been available to answer this until today anyway.)

So this is obscenely long and it spoils the end of Dear Whoever You Are. (Warning for discussions of pot, homophobic slurs, and references to Lonnie's shittiness.)

I have a lot to say about this story, even though it's short.

I went back and forth with the structure of this one a lot, trying to decide what kind of story I was going to tell. I wrote a lot of the letters in advance based on some of the issues that I thought Will might have or what I thought he might be able to slowly get off his chest, and I moved them around, letting the themes and emotional arc of the story emerge through that process. And what emerged was the story of a very lonely kid who missed his brother quite deeply. I actually didn't set out to make this about Will and Jonathan's relationship, but it revealed itself very naturally and I went with it.

For Will's voice, I didn't want it to read too adult, but I think he's probably a little sophisticated with his writing, you know? Not in every line, but there's a certain way with words and an artistry to some of the way he writes, even though sometimes he really does just sound like a kid--and sometimes he sounds a little younger than he is, since he's expressing a very broad range of emotions in these letters. The lyricism to his writing, though, does not obscure that he's a teenager with teenage concerns (and I think it just makes that trauma-instilled weariness even sadder, since it doesn't actually make him sound like an adult--it makes him sound like a kid aged beyond his years).

What should you know about me? I’m an artist. As in I like to draw and paint, but also that I’m pretty good at it. I want to be a professional artist someday. I’d like to go to school for it. My mom can’t draw. Jonathan is a little better—if he drew a shape, you’d basically recognize it, which is more than I can say for Mom—but not by much. I’m the artist in the family. I have no idea whether Dad can draw. If he’s ever tried. Wouldn’t it be an awful tragedy if he’s got an art prodigy somewhere deep inside him, suffocating under about fifty pounds of shithead and never to be realized because he thinks art is for fags and pussies?

[...]

The thing about dealing with Dad, though, is that it did sort of prepare me for the world. Mostly people are OK, but there are a lot of bullies out there who don’t want you to realize that they don’t actually matter. But Dad was my first bully, and he matters the least, so I know they’re all full of shit, too. I have much bigger problems now anyway. Problems you’re way too young to hear about. The nightmare kind.

This one kind of shows that line I was trying to walk with this piece. He sounds like a kid--he's excited to share his interests, he talks about himself kind of bluntly, and he's really honest in his appraisal. But then it hints at that baggage with Lonnie--like this dark cloud that kind of drifts over his narration. And he kind of appraises Lonnie here, too, and finds him wanting, but he also freely admits that this guy is basically a stranger to him. He's an abstract concept who made him feel bad on the occasions he actually had to deal with him in any kind of real way. But there's a tiny scrap of curiosity left there.

And Will has an edge here. He's not a mean guy, but he's seen a lot of shit by this point and he's really sad and lonely out in California. And as we see later, he does have some anger toward Lonnie, but it's very different from Jonathan's anger and comes from a different place. He's not great at controlling his emotional responses because he's just a kid (and a traumatized one at that), but he has a strong self-awareness, like Jonathan. It's not until near the end, though, that he really opens up about why he's so angry at Lonnie. And even though he's written Lonnie off and knows he's terrible, there's still a part of him that just can't quite accept being used that way.

But I don’t want to lose anyone, so I write it here and keep my lips shut, and I’ll destroy this just like all the letters that I haven’t sent. Not these letters to you, not the ones to Mike that are actually honest, not that one to Dad just so I could tell him properly to go fuck himself for trying to cash in on the worst thing to ever happen to me.

Also:

Do you have a lot of friends? I bet it's easier to make friends in the city. You don't have to be stuck with the same people who hate you from kindergarten on, year after year. I'm sure popularity isn't all it's cracked up to be—even if there was something desperately conciliatory about all of Jonathan's insistence that it's better to be a freak than to conform—but having a few close friends who'll play a ten hour campaign one weekend and save your life the next definitely takes the sting out of adolescence. So try to find those people. It's worth it, even if you do end up spiraling because none of them ever seem to call you anymore.

He tries throughout the whole piece to impart wisdom. It's not even necessarily always great advice, but it's very important to him. And he's very hopeful. Like, at times he's quite moody and sometimes very sad or angry, but there's a lot of hope and possibility and newness in many of his letters. Almost a sense of wonder.

Another things is that Will projects stuff all over this kid. Because he's not really talking to this kid, even though he does have real interest in him. He knows nothing about him and there's not really a strong possibility that he'll ever be more real at any point in the future. But Will is lonely, and he has a lot to get off his chest, and he needs to feel like he's talking to someone. So it's kind of sad, but also kind of astonishingly emotionally healthy. This kid has emotional resources to fall back on because he's been allowed that space to develop them, and he's using them.

My family’s grief destroyed them. I live with that knowledge inside of me, and I still don’t know what to do with it. I think pieces of that grief got tangled up in them along the way, like old netting with vegetation grown through it, and it’s there to stay forever in the landscape, even though I’m right here. Some kind of preemptive fear—like they’re holding their breath because they’ve been through it once so they already know what it will feel like and they’re terrified of ever feeling it again. I guess they don’t think they could survive it a second time. [...]

It’s all very frustrating. But how am I supposed to ask them not to feel that way? Jonathan cried himself to sleep when he thought I was dead. He cried alone, I think, but I don’t know why Mom wasn’t there. I don’t know what music he was listening to—all I heard was the click of the buttons, that familiar thunk of the headphone jack sliding home and the way his stereo whirred with a tape playing, so I knew he was listening to something—but I imagined it for myself. Something low and beautiful, maybe kind of weird—one of those sad, moody songs that I thought was a little boring compared to The Clash, too slow. (Jonathan really likes The Clash. He likes a lot of music no one has heard of. You probably don’t know them either. He never listens to them anymore, though.) Anyway, something slow, maybe—something I remembered just enough to hum for myself. Anything to drown out his despair and loneliness while I was freezing, starving, and hiding. Not because it was noisy, really—but because it was so quiet, like he wasn’t even allowed. I didn’t know that near-silence could hurt worse than a sob.

[...] I just knew that my brother was in pain and I couldn’t reach him. That I’d never really heard him cry like that before—like he couldn’t even breathe. If I could have seen through the veil, I know it would have been even worse. But there was something awful about only hearing the echoes of it, at the time. It made me feel almost as helpless as the monster did. Like hearing Mom falling apart even though I was so close, wanting to scream myself hoarse about how I was alive but keeping quiet so I wouldn’t die.

I wavered over whether to include this section because it's so dark and heavy, but ultimately I kept it because I really wanted to honor the horror that Will suffered and get his perspective on an aspect of it that I think gets overlooked very often. He had a front-row seat to his family's suffering. He knows exactly how much he means to them. And that must be a very heavy thing to live with, especially at that age, and especially on top of his own trauma and his own feelings. No matter how he feels or what he's experiencing, it must be there in the back of his mind. How will this affect my family? What will it do to them? Is it worth putting them through this or should I just be silent and spare them this pain? Which is exactly the opposite of what Joyce and Jonathan wanted to instill in him, but now he's a part of this terrible cycle that the two of them are trapped in, and he's hiding things from them because they have their own problems and he can't be the cause of any more. He just can't. Yet in some ways it's just part of this burgeoning independence that he's fighting for--he really wants to be allowed the room to figure things out for himself, even though it's somewhat painful and he feels lost once he gains that space.

You probably don’t like girls yet. Or maybe you’re like me. I hope you’re not like me. It’s a lot.

He also hints kind of a bunch of times that he's gay--so it's definitely a thing that he's firmly aware of, but he's not ready, until one of those last letters, to say it. But it's huge for him when he's able to commit it to paper and see it written out like that, even though he burns that letter, too. It's a big victory.

Besides, I hate the cold. I don’t remember a lot about Dad, but I remember thinking that he never seemed to feel the cold. He was always outside in December without a jacket, without sleeves—not that I knew him for many Decembers—and it would annoy my mom. She thought we would get ideas, I think. But he didn’t seem to notice the temperature or care when it started to snow. Like the world would just bend to his will and he didn’t have to acknowledge anything inconvenient about it. I bet he could freeze to death and still be thinking about cars and how his only real problem was that his kids were disappointments.

I like this bit because I think Will doesn't have a ton of memories of Lonnie, and this one isn't even Lonnie being abusive--it's just Lonnie being kind of a child and a bit of a prick. But it also explicitly draws a parallel between Lonnie and the Mind-Flayer in that he remembers them both as drawn to the cold, and he has that negative, traumatic association with the cold now. So it's very in-your-face, maybe too much so, but I think you can see Will kind of working this out for himself through the text and processing that uncomfortable truth. Like, IRL, we can analyze all of that and draw our own conclusions of the symbolism and implications presented in the series, but even in-universe, Will is kind of like yeah nope there's something off about this.

Did you know that when you cook chicken soup, you’re supposed to skim it? There’s some kind of layer of gross stuff that floats to the top. Mom is learning to cook more, and she didn’t know that. She kept wondering why it was coming out weird, but Jonathan didn’t say anything until the third batch, even though it turned out he knew the problem and the solution all along. (He knows how to cook more things than she does, and they tend to come out better when he does it.) I guess he was just planning to keep eating the weird soup. El didn’t even notice, of course. There’s basically nothing that she won’t eat. Jonathan is the same, really. I’m not even sure he tastes his food sometimes.

I just really like this bit. I think it says a lot about Jonathan, his role in the house, and the emotional and mental place he's in during the story. But I wanted to show that through 1) something kind of mundane and 2) Will's observations.

I stole a joint out of his room the other day. But I didn’t see what the big deal was. It smelled gross unlit, smelled disgusting while it was burning, and it made my whole chest hurt when I inhaled. I had to brush my teeth twice to get the taste out of my mouth, and my sinuses ached and burned for hours. I ended up flushing most of it down the toilet. It just made me jittery anyway, and then I got bummed out because he didn’t even notice. Didn’t notice that I was weird and didn’t notice that his pot was missing.

He didn’t used to be like this, I swear.

This is just really sad, I think. Like, on the one hand, I think it shows totally normal curiosity about drugs; he has access, he knows Jonathan is using them so they can't be that bad, and he does want to know. But there's also a part of him that's maybe hoping he'll get what Jonathan sees in it, or that maybe they can bond over it, or maybe even that it'll help him if Jonathan is so in love with it or whatever. But that's just not what he gets out of it, and he's left very frustrated and further alienated from his brother. But that He didn't used to be like this, I swear is just very, very heartbreaking, to me.

And on that note, I'm circling back to the beginning now to get more into Jonathan's side of things.

When my mom told us about you, Jonathan looked like he was going to puke. Then he looked empty. He’s mostly been high ever since, so I don’t really know how he feels about you.

This is spoilery to point out, but I hope it's one of those bits that hits different on reread. Because it's set up like Jonathan's response to this information is from a place of shock, since we're processing this reaction from Will's POV and this is news to Will. But Jonathan already knows here. So he's actually experiencing an entirely different set of emotions that Will has no context for and can't really perceive, let alone understand; he's feeling a lot of guilt from the tough choices he made, even though they weren't really choices at all because what the hell else could he have done? It's just bringing up a lot of bad stuff for him, and he's uncomfortable with the whole situation. Will has no way of knowing this, and Jonathan at no point sheds light on his feelings or perspective.

Another thing that I was trying to do was show Will's shifting mood via his salutations and closings. He almost always says Your big brother because he's trying really hard to put on this confident, loving big brother air--he really wants to lean into this role and he's very accepting of it. He's almost downright thirsting for this opportunity--especially because he has all this love to share and it feels like no one is receptive to it at the moment. He plays with these greetings and closings a few times when he's in high spirits (yours gayly, yours excitedly), but there are times when he's a little terse, too. Hey Kid, or just Yours, or Kid, or Sincerely, or no closing at all except Will.

And I really wanted to contrast that with the structure of Jonathan's letter. He greets David very simply, with an almost shy familiarity but without that ingratiation Will attempts. Right away, it's different because he knows this kid's name. So either some time has passed and they've learned new information or he had this information all along--and he quickly reveals that it's the latter. And while his closing is warm and kind, it is in no way familiar or open like Will's. It's really very distant and just short of almost formal. This is not a relationship he's trying to form or a door he's opening, but rather a chapter that he's trying to close in the least-shitty way possible. He signs it Jonathan and leaves it at that.

And that leads me into the thing about his letter that I really wanted to come through above all. He's trying very hard not to claim this kid as his family. He's not comfortable with this at all, but he'd do anything for Will, and this is what Will wants. This is a stranger to him, and he'd like to keep it that way, even as he offers up what he can--even as what he offers is somewhat painful in a very understated way, where you have to really read between the lines to see how he feels about it. He straight-up says, more or less, that their connection is through Will. Like, technically they're related, but he introduces himself as Will's brother first and foremost--right away, he's clearly not particularly open to the possibility of a relationship.

It seemed important to Will that I try this, so here goes nothing. Will is your brother. I’m Will’s brother. I guess I’m your brother, too.

Will felt an immediate kinship with and curiosity about this kid--maybe because of the mystery and distance, but maybe he would have felt the same if they'd met--but Jonathan has met him, and it's a memory from kind of a shitty period of his life, and more than that, it just represents a lot of baggage for him. David was never his responsibility--there is literally nothing he could have done for this kid and there was no possibility of a relationship at the time either--and there's an extent to which he's trying to tell himself this, but he can't quite internalize it as truth even as he's very honest about this, even kind of blunt. Shockingly blunt, almost. (Like, he's definitely not dumping his baggage on this stranger, but he says things that he would definitely not share with his family.) He feels like he abandoned this kid. He's always been someone's big brother, and he's always had responsibilities well beyond what he should have, so of course he feels this way. But he does take kind of a healthy, pragmatic view of it. He's like, well, what could I have done? And it's ambiguous whether he's stating a fact or trying to convince himself or maybe even trying to plead his case to David.

There's this real air of weariness and almost melancholy to it that he could kind of hide or distract from, maybe, in person, but it's hard to hide it in writing. He's also clearly not totally aware of the implications of some of what he's saying because... that's just his life. So parts of it read more disturbing than he probably intended--something that a kid wouldn't catch, that even an older teen might not catch, but that maybe Kim would notice.

You seemed healthy and happy, as best I could tell, though I don’t think there’s much I could have done if you hadn’t. But I decided not to worry about you because that was just one more thing than I could handle. Your mom seemed to have it covered. I had enough responsibilities already. I hope you understand. (Actually, I hope you don’t understand. I hope you have no idea what I mean.) You were clinging to her legs, but you weren’t hiding behind them. So I knew you felt safe with her, but you weren’t afraid. You looked like Will, only blond. A really young Will, just a little younger than the Will in the first photographs I took—the ones my mom still has. (If you want to know what Will looks like, go look in the mirror and imagine you have brown hair.) Your eyes were brighter, though. I knew (hoped) you’d be OK.

What's brutally sad about Jonathan's letter, I think, is how different his priorities are in comparison to Will's. Will is thinking about this kid's identity and his interests and even, to some extent, his future. He wants to know who this kid is and what they might have in common, and he's full of what-ifs. He does think about his emotional well-being and his safety (whether Lonnie is mean to him, whether he's bullied at school, whether he has friends), but not as much.

Whereas Jonathan, who couldn't have been older than fourteen or fifteen tops when they met, looked at this child and clearly did an immediate inventory of his physical well-being, and he very carefully tried to discern whether it seemed like he had much contact with Lonnie or whether he was safe with his own mom (whom Jonathan only knew, so far, as someone he was meeting through Lonnie, whose associates usually sucked ass and were generally dangerous). He needed to know whether this kid was walking out the door with someone who would neglect and/or abuse him because that's what Lonnie would do and what a lot of his friends would do. Jonathan cared about whether this kid seemed properly fed, had clean clothes, seemed generally well-cared for--whether his demeanor was fearful, whether he had any visible injuries or showed signs that he might have non-visible injuries, whether he was reactive toward Lonnie or seemed like he'd spent a lot of time in that house. It's sad for a host of reasons--from the fact that he feels the need to do this to the fact that he knows roughly what to look for and how to spot it.

He's very analytical about this--like, okay, this kid is clinging to her legs because she represents safety to him and Lonnie's place is scary and overwhelming, but he doesn't seem fearful generally so he'll probably be fine once he's away from Lonnie and he's not afraid of her. It's heartbreaking that he feels this is necessary and that he's not wrong to do it. Will, as compassionate and sensitive as he is, would simply not notice many of these things (or at least not think to look for them) because it's not how he's had to think, necessarily. Because he was, to some extent though certainly not as much as Joyce and Jonathan would have preferred, insulated from this and because he's never had to look out for someone else's needs (or not the same way). Meanwhile Jonathan is checking trunks for his brother's body. So there's a fundamental difference in perspective there that Jonathan can never really get away from. The world is not a safe place; don't ever take safety for granted.

And there's something really defeated about how he approaches this--he can't not evaluate this stuff, but he's keenly aware that he's pretty helpless in the face of it because he's just a kid himself. He has no power here, and even if he did, it's just too much for him emotionally on top of taking care of Will, helping out Joyce (who was presumably in a very bad place around this time), and raising himself. His concerns are extremely pragmatic--no more than that. He can't afford more than that. So he does care, but he really has no more to give. (And they're related, yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean some instant and unshakeable bond--that's just not what happens a lot of the time, and I think it's perfectly legitimate and fair to have that reaction instead of the more storybook one. Especially in circumstances like these. It also just doesn't resonate the same way for him because it doesn't represent any big paradigm shift for him--he's already someone's big brother, and there's no great wonder here like Will has. Whereas Will kind of sees an opportunity to reinvent himself, and it's also an opportunity to try on some more responsibility, which he's desperate to be given.)

But Kim seems nice. So he tells himself that it will be okay, and he has to believe this because he knows what Lonnie is like and what he's capable of. And this kid looks just like his little brother, whom he cares for more than anything in the world. He literally sees Will in him. So it's a small guilt that just kind of lodges in places and crystallizes. He's also like if you want to know what Will looks like, go look in the mirror, but he doesn't offer much about himself. Very intentionally.

Your eyes were brighter, though is just one of those lines that's actually really dark when you think about it. He's saying that he knows Will has suffered, despite his best efforts. Will doesn't have quite that same awareness that Jonathan does, but he's by no means naive or untouched; he's also an abused child and he comes from a deeply trouble home and he's bullied at school. He's sad and he carries a certain heaviness within him, even though he's got this bright and sweet disposition, and Jonathan can read it on his face. He sees his pain. But this kid, whom Jonathan knows nothing about except what he can observe in this brief window of time, looks brighter and happier than his little brother, whom he loves more than anything and anyone in the world. Whom he would do anything to protect and whom he wants desperately to shield from the ugliness that he's had to face. So it's a very painful comparison, but there's also something brutally pragmatic about it. He's saying, I can't help you, and you don't really need me the way Will does.

(Kim, if you’re reading this, I thought you were pretty cool. You gave me a stick of gum and said you liked my Clash t-shirt. You looked me in the eyes, instead of past me or anything else, and you talked to me like a person. I appreciate it more now than I did at the time; I was pretty angry back then. Thanks for not taking it personally.)

I really wanted it to be a nice, uneventful memory. Like, okay, he learned he has this little brother, he learned that Dad definitely cheated on Mom, but none of this is really a shock and it's not particularly emotional for anyone. It's just a thing that happened. She was decent to him. He was probably a little rude to her in a vague disgruntled teenage way, but not dramatic, and it's understandable, even though he's clearly a little embarrassed about it now. But you can see a lot about the kind of person she probably was and what that would have meant to Jonathan, who basically had no support in his life at this time, to be treated with respect by an adult--because it implies that he's not used to being treated with respect by adults, at least when he visits Lonnie. Which is in itself very sad. But I really wanted to show him something reassuring and to just have someone treat him decently. And that scrap of basic decency felt like a lot to him.

And from the way your mom looked at Lonnie, I know she didn’t let him into your life. I hope you know she did it to protect you and that you’re better off without him, but in case you didn’t, now you do. Dad sucks. Don’t worry about him. He’s not worth your energy.

He really says very little about this guy, but it's haunting the whole letter. There are undertones of this pain all throughout. Jonathan is keenly aware that this is their point of connection, and in some ways very open about what he thinks of Lonnie--certainly much more open here than he ever is with Will about it. So there's a way in which he's revealing more here than he feels like he can with his family, even though he's still not willing to open up to this kid and doesn't want a relationship. But he's not really softening things as much as he might with Will. And while it's not stated in the story, no, I don't feel like he let Will read this letter before he sent it and I don't think he shared any of this information with him. Nor did he tell Will that he already knew about David.

So he's leaving the door open, but ultimately he's hoping that it stays shut. At least at this point in his life--probably trying to tie up loose ends, before Vecna is defeated, and so with a lot of uncertainty hanging over him.

So. That was my interpretation of Lonnie potentially having another kid. Mostly as a lens through which I could explore Will's relationships with his family and with himself. And Jonathan was always going to know--that's kind of his role within the family, you know? He's burdened with all this terrible knowledge that he shouldn't have, and he just has to live with it and make the best of things. But I really wanted to show how differently they both responded to this information and why.

#answered asks #director's commentary #long post #very long post #dear whoever you are

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