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#talk to older gay people in your community
freddieandersen · 1 year
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just did a “huh. wonder what she’s up to” fb search of one of my dance friends from high school and yup another win for lesbians. [redacted] school of irish dance absolutely churning out future gays. of the six of us who danced into hs at least four are gay and/or nb now which is. statistically anomalous
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vaspider · 2 years
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Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.
It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.
On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.
I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"
That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.
Never.
These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.
And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.
Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.
You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.
But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.
That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.
It was 1985, 4 years after the CDC first released papers on what would eventually become known as HIV/AIDS and 7 years after the first known death from an infection from HIV-2. Reagan hadn't even said the word AIDS by the time Hudson died.
Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.
Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.
Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.
They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.
But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.
I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."
(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.
Fucker.)
But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.
I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.
But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.
The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.
That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.
The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.
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rivetgoth · 9 months
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I feel like part of what’s kinda wild to me about the weird “born in the wrong generation but in an alternative 80s punk goth queer way” crowd that idolizes this nonexistent 80s that was like a goth alt GNC queer safehaven is that without fail every time I actually talk to older goths or other older alt people or even just older queer or nonwhite people who were actually there in the 80s they’re IMMEDIATELY like “oh you were NOT missing out hahaha.” Like at best the coolest things they’ll talk about is getting to see some OG alt bands live in their prime or getting to see a cool movie in theatres, that IS genuinely cool, like major jealousy to anyone who got to actually witness Skinny Puppy or Ministry live in the 80s ykwim, but literally ALL of these people will then immediately start talking about how much people sucked, how much mainstream culture sucked, etc. It was literally Reagan-era AIDS crisis. Dystopian literature took off for a reason. Racism was a massive society-wide issue. War on drugs was in full swing. Even just the insanely racialized pushback against disco during that time is of note tbh. Massive brand commercialization was getting worse and worse. Whenever I talk to gay people from that era they express so much relief about how much the world has improved since then. I was talking to an older woman in her 50s who’s been in the goth scene since the 80s who was saying that back in the day if she went out dressed in her goth clothes she was called a faggot on the street. I remember her jokingly being like “well at least they were saying it to me and not actual gay people I guess haha…” There are aspects of 80s culture, especially 80s subculture and counterculture, that I really really enjoy, obviously, and certain sentiments surrounding big art trends of the time that I love, but it’s just kind of ridiculous to me that YEARS after collectively mercilessly mocking the trend of white girls saying they miss the 50s while ignoring the fact that Stonewall and the civil rights movement hadn’t happened yet, no-fault divorce didn’t exist, and lobotomies were still acceptable, I’m seeing posts nearly daily on this site that are like “well if I had been born in the 80s art would be good and music would be good and there’d be a queer alt community for me, but instead I was born in the tiktok poser generation 💔” like girl I’m sorry but you ARE the tiktok poser. Get offline and go FIND your community. Your issue is not that you were born in the wrong generation, you literally just do not know how to find modern underground subculture. Because it is underground.
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happypotato48 · 29 days
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This Is A Gay Asian Rant About BL Comments Made By Some Queer Westerners I See Sometimes.
So you know of those gays (usually white) that made dumb tiktok dancing to list of countries that legalized same sex marriage and list of countries that discriminate against LGBTQIA+ poeple as a way to say something racist. yeah i kinda got the same vibes from some comments regard how asian BL is homophobic just cause they don't live up to queer western standard. look, i'm not saying that some BLs and their creators don't deserve criticism regard how they capitalized/exploited queerness for an easy cash grab.
But people need to understand that Asian countries despite recent progress are still very much culturally conservatives. so when people says that thai bl is homophobic and all the characters looks like bunch of straight guys, which is true for some olders thai BLs i'm not gonna denied that. but after all this time and newer BLs generally being very queer and most of creators being out queer themself and poeple still making these comments, i'm annoyed.
And don't get me start on the actors. you don't know them! why are you making assumption and calling them queerbaiter just cause they acts in bl. like maybe they're straight, maybe they're not but what they're definitely doing is making queer content for you know, queer people here. so when you made halfass comments about their sexuality what do you think that made other queer people who still in the closet feels. and when you add the nationality to that, "these thai bl pair are this and that, this korean actor is so ungrateful for his bl past", etc. when our societies are still very much still in progress regard LGBTQIA+ acceptance. it make us living here feels fucking awful like somehow we're lesser queer than people in the west just cause we don't have citibank at pride or some shit.
And the shittiest in my humbled opinion are comments regard censored chinese bls. people do know like, that the creators making these bls are risking their livelihoods for this. that these shows getting make at all are miracles. yes it sucked that they're censored but they're still very much queer shows making by queer people who want to express thier queerness despite the chinese government being the chinese government. when people dimissing these shows as not belonging in queer media, you're also dimissing their creators and audiences as not belonging in the community.
Look what i want to say is that we're trying our best over here, and maybe our best are not up to your liking. the ways we talk and express our queerness maybe still can be perceived as problematic by western queer standard. but these media are our house and you're the guests. for people aren't shitty we appreciated that you're here engaging and loving our media, this is your home too and you're welcome in it. i can speak for myself that i very much love being here on tumblr and interacting with people from all over the world who love BL. but for people who are being shitty sometimes about asian bl.
YOU'RE THE GUESTS, BEHAVE!
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johannestevans · 4 months
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Where do I find the queer people?
Making friends and finding social & community spaces as an LGBTQ+ adult.
Originally published with Prism & Pen. Also on my Patreon.
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Photo by Brett Sayles via Pexels.
A friend and I recently went to a Queer Open Mic night after I saw it advertised on the same afternoon. While we were on the way back, she asked about how I’d found it.
“I just feel like you always know loads of queer events that are on,” she said, “and I don’t know how to begin to find them.”
I sat down with her a few weeks later and showed her some of the ways I find events, regular or otherwise, and where I look for others — especially given that on social media in the past few days I’ve seen a few people talking about the difficulty of finding and meeting with new queer people when not online.
I thought it might be useful to put it together here.
It’s quite hard with the pressure on and elimination of many third spaces to go out and easily meet people, and given that most of us use a lot of online socials and dating apps, it can feel difficult to seek out and engage with in-person spaces without knowing exactly what the protocol or format of the event is going to be.
Especially given that many people are still more isolated than they were before the start of the Covid pandemic, and/or struggle with seeking out events for themselves having finished school or university or other more structured environments, there can be a lot of anxiety about attending events or meeting new people. But it’s worth it to remember that pretty much everyone else is in a similar spot, and there’s nothing weird or unusual about wanting to make friends or have social time with others.
I am based in the North of England and generally go between the UK and Ireland. So this guide might be less useful depending on where you are. Obviously, in countries with more repressive legislation on queer identity, community groups will by definition be far more underground. Even in areas where this isn’t the case, some of these suggestions might be more viable than others depending on how densely populated your area is, how accessible different venues and events are, and how active your local queer communities are. So, just take what’s good for you and leave the rest.
Finding Local Queer Community Groups
In your search engine, put in simple search terms — [queer] [group] in [my area].
If you can, narrow your search to websites updated in the last 6 months to 2 or 3 years — you’ll sometimes find a website from six or seven years ago where the events haven’t been running for half that when you were already excited about it.
Search your town, city, or county first, and then widen your search — I normally initially look for Bradford and Leeds respectively, but then might broaden my search to West Yorkshire or even North England depending on the time of year and if I’m more willing to travel for certain events, e.g. looking up summer events around Pride, or specific holiday events if you’re looking at Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s, etc.
Combine:
“Queer”, “LGBT” or “LGBTQ”, “Trans”, “Gay Men’s”, “Lesbian”, “Transgender”, “Transsexual”, “Gay Rights” or similar terms
With:
“Charity”, “Support Group”, “Social Space”, “Community Space”, “Meetup”, “Society”, and similar terms
Swap around the terms and find what language seems to be used in your area — remember that depending on the age group and demographic you’re looking at or for, there might be terms you prefer.
I personally search for a lot of gay men’s groups because the average age tends to be a lot older and focused more on the experiences and social spaces of men who love men rather than general queer spaces, which I find can be a bit too young and fast-paced for my speed.
In general, I find that there’s a loose separation between younger trans and queer social groups, which tend to be a mix of differing identities and ages but with a big emphasis on young adults in the 18–25 area, and then specific gay men’s or lesbians’ groups, which will have a wider swathe of ages and might be a little bit less online.
I understand the fear some people have of these spaces being more transphobic than younger spaces — that’s not personally been my experience, as transphobia and lateral bigotry might happen in any social space, but unfortunately, you just don’t know the specifics of an event or a group until you get there and actually meet and talk to the people.
Some charities or community groups that run a variety of spaces might have specific age or identity guidance on group titles — some might be particularly for younger or older people, be for trans people more than cis people, and some might focus on particular sub-communities, such as BIPOC queer groups or specific religious or ethnic meetups, disabled queer groups, etc.
You also might find meetups that are centred around certain hobbies, professions, or interests — boardgames or Magic the Gathering, Doctor Who or fantasy novels, medical professionals or blacksmiths, etc, depending on how big the area you’re in is and how populous it is.
If you are already a member of an institution or society, whether that’s your school or university, your union, some workplaces, your temple or other religious institution, etc, you might find that there are already events running for you!
Finding Queer Events Online
There are almost certainly queer events on, and they’re probably advertised, but where do you find them?
What’s annoying about the Internet as it exists, corporate online spaces and otherwise, is that most events will be posted in one or two spaces out of hundreds. The good ones will sometimes be hard to find because there’s a bunch of shitty advertising in the way, and because individuals and small charity or community advertisers don’t necessarily know about things like search engine optimisation or how to make a good, searchable post. There will be really cool events that are advertised online, but just aren’t tagged or easy to find.
This means that it’s worth looking often but keeping it casual — glancing through the top page for events that might be coming up or meet some keywords, but if most of what you see is ads, just leave it and move on. Digging through for the good events in busy areas that are also ad-heavy can take ages and might not even turn up much.
If you find socials for local community groups or charities, even if they don’t run events themselves, they might regularly share other local events or cool ones, so it can be worth following them!
Ditto for other queer people in your community — follow local artists, performers, academics, creators, public speakers, craftspeople, or any local community leaders or public figures, and see if they share and boost local events.
They might boost special interest events that are of interest to you if you follow people who share certain communities or interests. If, for example, you have an interest in lolita fashion and follow queer lolita dressers in your area or in areas you can travel to, they might post events that are of interest to them and maybe to you — whether that means specific lolita events, other clothing and fashion events like gothic or steampunk markets and shows, or even anime cons or renaissance faires or whatever.
Obviously searching on social media can help — looking for keywords like “queer event” or “LGBT social” on one site or other can be especially good if it’s a site where you can localise your search results, such as Facebook or Instagram.
With that said, Facebook and Instagram are increasingly difficult sites to use given how much they’re overwhelmed by sponsored and corporate posts as well as spam and bot posts. So, it’s generally worth it more when you focus on either events in smaller and limited areas, such as small towns, or when you’re looking for crossing over of different areas of interest, such as particular queer hobbyist or interest groups. When you start looking for broader spectrum events in a busier or more populous area, you can get inundated by spam and copy-and-paste duplicate ads that have all been promoted. But it’s still worth it to have a glance and see if anything is up at the top!
Sites and apps like Eventbrite or TicketSource, or equivalents in your area, will often let you search for specific events . As with social media, these sites can have the same problem of sponsored events coming up first, and annoyingly you can’t block particular event providers or organisers to make sure they don’t show in your search results if they’re not your thing.
Use every option that comes up and see if you can cross search where you can — pick a particular location or area, click on free or paid events, pick events at certain times, pick a certain kind of event, add in tags like LGBTQ or similar if it’s a site that allows it, etc.
If an event comes up that you like the idea of, note it down, then look the organizer up on social media and see if they run or share other events.
Looking for local tourism sites will let you search for other local events as well — especially if you live in a city or regularly visit one, they’ll often have a What’s On page or a Visit [Blank] website or equivalent, and you can search through that — most of them will have cultural events or a specific LGBTQ section you can glance through.
Here’s the Visit Bristol site, for example:
What’s On in Bristol — VisitBristol.co.uk Click here to find out What’s On in Bristol!…Get the latest information on the latest Events, Festivals, Carnivals…visitbristol.co.uk
For obvious reasons, sites like most of the above will focus on paid events, especially evening and party events. Pub quizzes, drag events, bingo nights, balls, drinks offers, parties, etc.
These events aren’t for everybody — and if they’re not for you, focus on events that take place, if not in cafés and restaurants, then in libraries, universities, museums, and other public buildings.
Queer Events Locally Advertised In-Person
Wait, do people still do that?
Look for poster and notice boards in:
Libraries, museums, community centres, university lobbies
Vintage and alternative clothes stores, music venues, etc
Your temple, church, or other religious institutions
Gay bars, queer cafés, LGBTQ centres, queer bookshops
Doctor’s offices, GUM clinics, and sexual health clinics
Anywhere else you see a noticeboard with events showing!
Also look on flag poles or in windows around your local gay bars or businesses if you have any, generally around the gay village if there’s one to go through.
How do you know the events are good? How do you know they’re legit?
How old does the poster look? Do you see many copies of it around?
Look for dates for the event(s) they’re advertising on the poster, and then look up the venue the events are meant to happen at. Do the dates match? Is it a regular event? Is the event showing on the venue’s website or social media?
Is the event run by a local group, collective, or charity? When you search them, do they have socials or a site of their own? Do they seem active?
If a local queer poster gives you socials, check those socials out — do they have any followers you’re familiar with? Do they post their venues publicly and have defined and public meeting times? Do they seem to have active and engaged commenters? Is there a face or faces behind the social media, or are they anonymous?
If an event is run by anonymous people, or if it seems like they don’t have many followers on social media or very active ones, that might be a bit more suspicious — ditto if an event just gives you a phone number but not any further identifying info.
It’s not inherently suspicious for a queer event to be at an undisclosed location, because of course people do want to ensure some safeguarding and vet people before they come, but if it’s an undisclosed location in combination with anonymous organising, that might be a bit suspicious, and should probably be avoided.
Finding Queer People in Specific Hobby or Other Community Spaces
You don’t have to go to queer-specific events to meet other queer people — any hobby or community you can think of, there’s probably queer people in attendance.
If you’re in a busier or more populous area, say there are 5 events that centre around the same hobby — of those 5, some of them will have more queer people than others, and it might be worth checking them out just to see if you click with anyone there.
My partner and I attend queer-specific board-game evenings that are run out of gay bars or by queer clubs, but pretty much any board-game night is likely to have one or two queer people knocking about, whether they know or would identify themselves as LGBTQ+ off the bat or not.
While there are obviously more open queer people at the queer events, I would say that when we went to a local board-game night run by older straight guys, about a quarter of the attendees were older queer people.
Of my queer friends, pretty much all of them have varied interests and attend different groups or clubs with a lot of other queers knocking about without them being labelled or explicitly queer events — knitting and crocheting, computer coding, electronic music and DJing, fandom, blacksmithing, glassblowing, stand-up comedy, improv, cooking, gardening, board games, cosplay and historical costuming, LEGO, live-action roleplay, tabletop roleplaying games, Magic the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, and other trading card games, poker, burlesque, sports games and clubs, swimming, cycling, fishing, photography, book clubs, bug collecting, birdwatching, weaving, painting, sculpture, pottery, video games, singing, songwriting, poetry…
The list goes on.
Hell, half the people I know seem to go and meet new dates at the local climbing wall, where it seems like all the lesbians and gay guys are crawling all over one another. Another friend of mine attends their local WI, and have met other queer people there.
Other Tips
Remember you can meet people on dating and hook-up apps and that doesn’t necessarily have to be for sex and relationships, whether that’s Grindr, Her, Lex, etc — or you can ask hook-ups and casual dates where they go or if there are local events they think are good or fun. Poly people are particularly useful for this, because they’ll often have a whole network of regular events crossing over and diverging.
If you’re nervous about going to an event alone and you don’t have anybody to go with you, it can be worth checking it out on socials first and see if you have any mutual friends with people that are going — if not, it’s worth heading along anyway, because people might well speak to you before you have to open the conversation with them.
Community groups will often have icebreakers or sessions where people swap names, pronouns, and basic introductions, and that can ease the way into getting used to the space.
If you see somebody else on their own who seems nervous to talk to people, they can be good to approach and say, hey, I also don’t know anyone here, what brings you here? And so on. Remember, other people are pretty much always in the same boat as you.
For me, one of the biggest anxieties about going to new events alone is the fact that I’m disabled and dependent on public transport, and that combo can make it tough on me if I get to a place and it’s inaccessible or just not my speed, and then I have to sort of immediately turn heel and leave, but wait ages for a bus in the meantime. I’ve missed more than one event I was really excited about just because transport didn’t line up for me.
Some considerations to keep in mind when you look for events:
Is the event free or paid? Is this clearly marked? Do you need to buy tickets in advance?
How recent is the posting about the event? Is it posted on a web page or a social media page? Are there recent comments or engagement on the entry? If there is a contact for the event, is it active and responsive?
Is this event regular or recurrent? Is it for a special occasion, and does it have sister events or concurrent events?
Is the event exclusively online, exclusively in-person, or do they change between the two formats? Would you prefer to attend online before you attend in-person?
Do you want to go to a closed and more private group — for example, one that has you message them for the time and location, seems to have capped attendee limits, seems to have a regular community. Or do you want to attend a more casual event in a larger, open space where people might not notice as much as you come and go? Is it going to be very crowded or more spaced out?
Where is the event located, and will you be comfortable in that venue? Is it in a community building such as a charity space, community group, religious institute, school, or university? Is it in a café, restaurant, pub, bar, club, or late-night venue? Is it an explicitly or dedicated queer space? If you are not out to other members of your community, will going into this space reveal that you might be a member of a queer group?
Is the venue age-restricted, and will it require ID? If you must provide ID, will providing your ID in a dead name or in a different gender presentation to your current one be anxiety-inducing or a potential problem for you?
How accessible is the venue to you? Is it walkable, on a regular bus route, or does it have appropriate parking for you? Does it have ramps or elevators? Is it well-ventilated, and does it have a HVAC or other air filtration and purification protocol? Is masking enforced, and/or are masks provided? If you might be watching something together, is there a hearing loop, will there be subtitles on a screening? Is there a first aider at the event? Does the venue serve food or drink, or provide refreshments?
If you are attending alone and have specific needs or requirements, or might need to leave abruptly, is there someone you can let know at the event, such as a first aider or community leader? Are there regular buses, a taxi rank, or online taxi access if you need to quickly head home? Have you let someone else know where you are going, just as a safety concern?
Is the event activity-based, or is it a space where people just sit and talk? Would one or the other of these feel more natural or comfortable to you? Do you have to bring your own activity, such as with a craft or knitting circle, or are supplies provided, such as boardgames or a screening?
Does the group or host for the event(s) have social media? Do they advertise the regular events on socials, or have a newsletter, or some other helpful reminder system?
Most community events will be free, but if it’s an activity group or society, or if it’s a private event, especially one where they buy equipment or supplies, there might be an up-front ticket or access fee, a membership fee or a collection jar or similar — most events will tell you in advance if there is a fee or if they might request a donation.
Most importantly, like… Have fun.
If it sucks, hit the bricks — there’s no obligation to stay anywhere if it’s not fun or doesn’t satisfy you in the way you were hoping.
There’s always other events out there, and you’re very unlikely to truly be the only gay in the village, even if it sometimes feels that way. Good luck!
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Today on popping the corn and feeding the children, what do you folks think of this discussion? :)
I'm always curious to hear what other Trek fans, especially queer Trek fans, think about our place in Trek history and how we fare as the queer participants within our fandom. What have your experiences been like?
Overwhelmingly I've found a great reception and a welcoming attitude, but I admit that has increased considerably since the 90s. However, there are still some Trek fans who seem to be vehemently in denial about queer history in Star Trek, or the fact that anyone who has worked on Trek has pro-LGBT attitudes. This always surprises me considering some of the blatant queer content we have already seen in Star Trek such as the Jadzia Dax and Lenara Kahn kiss.
Anyway, I enjoyed the discussion that followed and seeing the overwhelming outpouring of support coming from Star Trek fans in response to this thread.
Here was my two cents contribution:
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"No, what they said was factual.
Have you forgotten Nichelle Nichols was indeed an African American woman in the core seven bridge crew back in 1966?
Or the fact that Gene Roddenberry went out of his way to write The Motion Picture Novel, creating the term "T'hy'la: friend, brother, lover" so that fans could choose which interpretations of Kirk and Spock they saw fit? He also embraced K/S fans and hired a number of them to write the earliest Star Trek novels, including the very first official one (The New Voyages Vol. 1 & 2) which included slash fiction as well as Gene's approval/forward in the books.
In case anyone has forgotten, here's a little bit of background on Gene Roddenberry and his perspectives on queerness in Star Trek.
He admitted that in his early life he was very affected by how society and culture treated the LGBT community, and that he too found himself subjugating and judging others for that lifestyle because it was what people did at that time. As he got older and had more life experience, he began working with a number of queer artists in Hollywood -- and through TOS, a number of queer individuals began asking questions about Kirk and Spock.
Instead of vehemently shutting down this perspective, Roddenberry was intrigued, and saw potential to tap into a large audience (LGBT) that most others didn't want to go near or acknowledge publicity-wise. He saw it as an opportunity to expand the fanbase while also pushing yet another envelope.
But with the heat already on the show for what they'd already pushed, he found he was often stuck between what he'd like to do and what production would let him get away with. There are a number of Kirk and Spock scenes in scripts that got cut out for leaning a little too obviously romantic. Tiny trickles of that content still made it in were infamous moments like the backrub scene in Shore Leave. Even the 2009 movie had a K/S moment while Spock Prime and Kelvin Spock talked that was written and filmed that was cut out of the final product.
Queer subtext and coding has always been relentlessly weeded away at with an excuse ready to go for why they always try to cut us out, but we all know it's because they are scared of the homophobic backlash and ratings hits. Look how violently homophobes went after the gay romance episode of The Last of Us **just this year**. This has always been our reality, so for someone like Roddenberry to make efforts in the 70s? That was massive.
But Gene as well as the queer/slash Trek community managed to accomplish some things in the 70s which I'm surprised more folks don't talk about or give much credit.
In the same TMP novel which features "T'hy'la" and the famous footnote, Gene cleverly wrote Kirk with a bisexual/pansexual lens: Kirk describes himself as *preferring* women but being open to "physical love in **any** of its many Earthly, alien, and mixed forms." (Direct quote from Genes book). Basically, Captain Kirk was DTF with whoever if there was a connection, which was a very progressive take for a character in a novel written in 1979, but made sense for the future which would have a lot less hang ups about sex and love compared to our current rather puritan/conservative society.
I also prefer women, but I married a man. Shout out to Gene Roddenberry for giving us a seat at the table back in the 70's when folks *still* try to insist there is no place for K/S or queer concepts in Trek, because he made efforts -- however small -- to employ queer people and show queer perspectives. According to David Gerrold, LGBT+ representation was a big thing that Gene personally pushed for in TNG and wanted various depictions of love/couples in the Risa scenes, to name one example.
In the 70s, fanzines led to meetings and swapped fanmade magazines, which got so big that they needed hotel centers, then convention centers, then one day the TOS cast came to one and what we know as modern fan conventions were born -- inspiring even George Lucas who attended Trek conventions in the 70s and saw how popular Trek was in syndication; it was a great climate to launch his Space Opera. Star Wars then became so huge that we got TMP.
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But none of that would have happened without the level of organization, passion, and creativity that those fans poured into Star Trek and their characters after it got cancelled and went into syndication.
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Without queer folks we wouldn't have George Takei, Theodore Sturgeon who gave us Tribbles, Bill Theiss and his amazing TOS costumes, Mike Minor's art direction, Merritt Butrick, David Gerrold (writer for TOS, TAS, TNG) to name a few of many queer contributors to Trek that Roddenberry respected and tried to go to bat for wherever he could in a climate that was absolutely impossible to gain an inch in.
At a time during the 70s and 80s when so many people resented and feared the queer community and wanted us to disappear, especially in the 80s during the AIDS epidemic which many homophobes claimed was "God's punishment to the gay community" or "Gods's answer" to our "hedonism", thinking we'd gotten our just desserts and should just disappear . . .
During that time, Gene Roddenberry gave us queer folks a place to say: "You know what? Sure. Write your stories. TV says you guys shouldn't exist, they pull books with queer people off the shelves and burn them. Laws exist specifically to forbid you guys from loving each other, and call you mentally ill. You can't even hold hands in public. But I'm going to validate you guys and invite you to write novels or work for me, try to see what we can get by production, and allow you to see yourselves in my characters if you want to. There's a place for you in our fandom."
He gave us bi/pan Kirk, he gave us K/S is open to interpretation. In Phase 2 Kirk's surviving nephew Peter, son of his brother Sam from Operation: Annihilate!, was going to be written as gay and living on the Enterprise with his partner -- that also got chopped and reworked into a script that wouldn't get used until decades later. That was huge at a time that being queer was officially listed as a mental illness, and villainized due to the AIDS crisis.
So before you try to dismiss or tell K/S + queer Trek fans whether or not they deserve a seat at the table, remember that Gene Roddenberry was among the **first** to pull that seat out for us in a climate that was ruthlessly against LGBT+ folks." -- 1Shirt2ShirtRedShirtDeadShirt
P.S: Have some cute bisexual/pansexual K/S pride gifs. :) Pride month is a hop, skip and a jump away.
LLAP!🖖💚
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colorisbyshe · 8 months
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obviously, most it is just blatant homophobia (specifically lesbophobia) and biphobia (including corrective rape fetishes), but I do think at least some of the "lesbians and gay men can want to have sex with each other and SHOULD have sex with each other to prove they're ~real queers :3" is from people who have only read posts about very specific situations and think it's... like... wildly applicable because posts are their only connection to the lgbt community, so they just think "posts = everyone"
specifically those posts that are about being at event and a butch lesbian hits on a twink (or vise versa!) thinking the twink is another lesbian (and the twink thinking the lesbian is another gay man). not getting the "joke" in that post is that when they realized... oh, this person isn't the gender i'm into... they stopped hitting on each other? and laughed about it
the point of those stories isn't "wow, gays and lesbians could be sucking and fucking to show we aren't constrained by gender" which is insane and bigoted but rather "isn't it funny how gender presentation works and how just finding out someone's gender can completely wipe out your attraction to them?"
similarly, they'll see stories about how lesbians and gay men in the past might have gotten married or even had children together and think "SEEEE THAT COULD BE US IF WE WERE REAL QUEERS" without at all giving a single thought about how that lavender marriages or "lesbians using gay men as sperm donors" were actually about protecting each other from homophobia in a society where straight marriage is expected from people. or maybe using the only methods possible to have kids in a society that is violently exclusive towards single women and gay people (and many other marginalized groups) seeking out reproductive assistance or adoption.
this wasn't about desire or even about sex. this was about survival and working in loopholes.
like... stop just consuming posts. start talking to real people. having a conversation with even like... one lesbian who actually leaves their house will tell you that "having sex with men is more progressive actually" is a violent sentiment. like rape level violence. death level violence, in some cases.
this should be a very easy concept to grasp and yet "bisexual lesbianism" and "us real progressives know all women want to fuck men" is still being said without people being beheaded so... chop chop people
this posts only exists because i'm aware sometimes young people parrot shit without thinking but if you are older and still saying shit like this... the beheading is coming for you final destination style. just an fyi.
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sporeblossom · 1 year
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logging back onto this website to say that while i dont think (???) it was intentionally done, the scene before their "last day" where frank is working on a portrait of bill, reminded me of keith haring's "unfinished painting"
comparison here before i explain:
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keith haring's painting was purposely made to look incomplete. haring was diagnosed with HIV in late 1988, and died in early 1990, at the age of 31. the painting is a self portrait, hitting us with the gut-punch reality of how the aids-epidemic robbed haring of the right to finish his own story. the overwhelming amount of empty space is a glaring reminder that haring didn't just have a short life, he had an incomplete one. the piece points to all that empty space and says: this should have been filled out. this should all have been my art, my story, and my space. by claiming this empty space, haring claimed the empty space of his unlived life, that was taken from him and so many other people, by a negligent and homophobic society that refused to care about the pandemic ravaging an entire community worldwide.
now back to my original point: like i said, im really not sure if this was intentionally done by the show. but when i was watching this episode and i saw this scene, i immediately thought of this painting. the blue color of the eye trailing off onto the blank part of the canvas is, at least to me, a strong visual parallel.
and i feel like this visual parallel highlights some very important thematic parallels as well, which deserve to be talked about. in the show, the outbreak starts in 2003 which means that bill and frank have both lived through the aids-epidemic. they have seen people like them die. they have experienced the hatred and isolation that came with it. you could speculate and read into things ad nauseaum, but i thinks it's safe to say that in this place and time, this also plays into how careful and hesitant they are, when they first start to show intimacy with each other. in their world, they didn't even get to experience the legalization of gay marriage.
seeing as this show takes place during another, fictional, pandemic, airing at a time where the real world has just faced another actual pandemic, it is impossible to ignore this aspect of their story.
these two characters however, are not destroyed by the outbreak in the show. they find each other, they experience freedom, love, and a full life together. their life is not cut short.
in an absurd twist of fate, when the rest of the world is finally forced to experience what it's like to be abandoned by your government during a devastating epidemic, this is when these two people find happiness. they get to go running, and have fights, and grow strawberries, and have friends over for dinner.
and after spending nearly twenty years together, frank spends his last time working not on a self portrait, but on a portrait of bill, the love of his life. this is the sort of thing that rightfully should have filled the empty space of haring's work. finding love(s) spending your time together, that is a life lived.
and yet frank's painting is unfinished, because of course we are never truly done living. we are never truly done loving. but he got so much more time, so much more story, than the people we lost to the aids epidemic, which the trailing off blue paint reminds us of.
at the same time their house is absolute filled with all the paintings that frank did finish, showing us all the good days he got with bill. and in a way, i feel like that is the show being very aware of what it is: a complete, beautiful story about two men loving each other, in a world that sorely lacks these stories. a world where we had so many unfinished, incomplete lives, that we lack an entire generation of older gay men.
and even though i was completely reduced to tears by the end of this episode, the ending still filled me with some sort of mournful joy. because yes, even though it was incredibly sad to see their last day, these two men got to fill so much of their empty space. they got to experience love, and they got to live their life. like bill says: "im old. im satisfied. and you were purpose."
so many people didn't get that. keith haring didn't get that. a whole generation of queer people didn't get that. that makes this episode so much more moving for me, because it is not just an incredibly beautiful love story, but it is an incredibly beautiful love story that the world should rightfully have seen millions more of. but all those lives were incomplete.
so with the undeniable, but unspoken, presence of the aids epidemic in the narrative of these characters, this visual reference to keith haring and aids, purposeful or not, is incredibly meaningful.
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rthko · 5 months
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Someone left this tag on one of my posts about bathhouses and the excellent addition from @drdemonprince and I have to say I'm touched. Bathhouses and other sex-on-premises establishments are discreet by their very nature, to protect their clientele and skirt around legal gray areas. But they're still here. They're not a relic of a naive time or a mistake to be rectified. Marcus Mccann wrote the following on the subject of park cruising, but it still applies here: "We cruised through winter. We cruised through police raids. We cruised through the AIDS crisis. Reagan is dead and we are still cruising." But it is true that bathhouses are not as common as they were in, say, the 70's. The catastrophe of AIDS did bring the promiscuous zeitgeist of the Gay Liberation era into question, but others have argued that it was this very promiscuity that helped queer people mobilize, educate, and build networks of support. Medicine and awareness regarding HIV have changed, but the ordinances in many cities have not caught up. If you hear less about them these days, there's often a reason.
Sex is at the center of an alleged generational war within the queer community, but this framing is misplaced. We might roll our eyes at talk of the "good old days," and sometimes we're right to. But older gays who talk this way are often expressing melancholia for a world, both real and imagined, that some would rather zone, gentrify, and police out of existence. Young adults are told that if the bars or the baths shut down, this is just the will of the free market, or the triumphant end of gay history. But we're sick of the apps. Many of us can't host, and we want more options than just "your place or mine." History finds a way.
I will not simply idealize the past, but José Esteban Muñoz describes queerness as an "ideality that can be distilled from the past and used to imagine a future." If marriage promised to temper gay sexuality, Grindr promised to privatize it. What if something else was possible? What if chemistry worked in different and unexpected ways when you're face to face and everything is right in front of you? What if it were easier to strike a conversation when there's no ice to break? What if this world had a growing place for trans men, men who would face language barriers in a bar setting, and in some venues people who aren't men to begin with? It might not be utopian, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but there is something to be said for pleasure possibilities that have been wrongfully declared obsolete. If any of this sounds appealing, go for it.
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randomfotos · 3 months
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Hello everyone, today I'm going to move away from the topic of my blog, to talk about something serious!
I've been on Tumblr since its inception, I've had several accounts, with different content and styles. I currently have two active accounts, both of which are very popular.
I gave this brief context, so that you understand that I have a basis for what I am going to say next.
For years I have noticed a certain discrepancy in the number of notes in certain posts. Over time it became increasingly obvious to understand why… The fact is that posts starring men of color (black, Asian, Latino, indigenous, people from the Middle East, in general, non-white men) receive much less, but much less likes and shares than those carried out by white men.
And look, this isn't about blog popularity and making a post go viral here. It's something bigger and very serious: racism and xenophobia.
And that's a huge general outline. For example: if posts with older men don't receive as many likes, compared to those with young, sexy, muscular black men, they receive much less notification than posts with older white men.
Another example, posts by fat men, do not have much repercussion, but when compared to that of an Asian or indigenous person, the fat white man receives more visibility.
I mentioned these two specific aspects, because in a society developed according to an aesthetic standard, old gay men and fat gay men are routinely placed on the margins of the gay community, simply because they do not meet these aesthetic expectations, but even when a group meets these "aesthetic standards", are belittled, subdued, disrespected and discriminated against, solely because of their skin color and origin.
Racism and xenophobia around the world is something that is clearly present in everyday life. And many people think it is not prejudiced. But even though things are very open on a daily basis, racism and xenophobia act silently, in a very sneaky way.
So, if you stop liking a photo because you didn't find it beautiful or attractive in your eyes, it's ok! Now, if you want for a second, you think about "if it were a white man there, this photo would be more beautiful" or "if it were a white man, I would feel hot for this guy", I'm sorry to inform you that you have the racism and xenophobia rooted in you!
Once again, I repeat. It's not about popularity, number of likes or reblogs. It's something very serious!
It’s not enough to not be racist, you have to be anti-racist! This means that we must monitor ourselves so that we do not have veiled racist and xenophobic attitudes in our attitudes and speech!
P.S.: I'm Brazilian, and English is not my mother tongue. So I ask you to use interpretation to understand what was said in a mature and responsible way. If any word or phrase is wrong or out of context, please let me know!
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antimony-medusa · 7 months
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"They're honestly so sibling-coded."
I grew up in a conservative, rural area where people got married young. It was not uncommon to see marraiges happen when the people involved were 19, 20, 21, and there was this sort of expectation that any relationship you were in in your teen years had like a 70% chance of leading to marriage. More, if you were especially religious. This attitude was so pervasive that if a woman was friends with a man, or even hung out together, there was this automatic societal assumption that you were early relationship, which led into late relationship, which led into where you were going to get married, which led into babies and a family.
And I hated it. I hated it because I was aroace and didn't know it yet, but even just as a baby feminist feeling out what it meant to be a woman and how I was perceived in the world, I hated the assumption that all my m/f relationships were only worth something if they were leading to romance and marriage (and babies). The idea that men and women couldn't be friends, because men only thought about women in a romantic/sexual way, was actively taught me by everyone from pastors to helpful older coworkers. I even got told that f/f friendships were basically killing time until you got into a romantic m/f relationship, which is where you'd find actual fullfilment and happiness. It sucked.
And then I moved away, and I got out of the conservative religious circles, and then in my 20s, people kept saying the same thing. At least it wasn't saying "god made you for relationships (and babies)," but it was still saying that y'know, men are only interested in one thing, and it's cruel to lead them on, and so on, and so forth. Half of the world is going to only think of you in terms of what you're good for in relation to their relationship status, and the other half of the world is going to tell you to suck it up and deal with it.
This is still the background radiation of much of the world, still. I am getting this less in my 20s because many of my male friends are married, (or gay), but still, as soon as I meet someone new the interested looks start to pile in. As a person who doesn't plan on getting into a romantic relationship, I do not love this.
Immediately seeing a m/f friendship and going "ooooo they're KISSING" is not respectful of the guy's ability to have friendships with people he's not having sex with, but let's look at what it messages about the girl in this scenario.
A) women are only worth talking about in terms of what they can do to for men, what they are in connection with men B) friendship is unimportant and not real, women only exist to be romance options
So I feel strongly about allowing women to be percieved as their own beings and have cross-gender friendships without turning it into romance.
This is not an uncommon take on the internet! I see a lot of people talking about allowing people to be friends without defaulting to shipping.
But I don't know how to tell you that seeing a m/f relationship and saying "Oh they're siblings", when we're talking about celebrities/streamers is still sending a lot of the same messages. The core thing you're communicating is still the same. It's falling into the same traps.
I get the sense that a lot of people see a relationship they want to sort of celebrate and enjoy, and they know that shipping is bad, so they just shunt the "oh they're special to each other" to the left into a family dynamic. I will just say they're siblings, that way nobody can accuse me of shipping, and I'm good!
But what this does is still messages a) woman are reduced down to their relationship with a man, into what they can do for the man, and b) friendship is unimportant and not real, women only exist to be non-romanceable family and the rest of them, the romance options.
If the only way you can conceive of a woman as being important to a man is either being romantic/sexual with him or by saying that they're related, that's still bad. If you literally have to put one of the strongest relationship taboos in our culture in the way or you'll just default into kissing I guess, that's still messaging some really concerning things about how you're portrating women.
And once inside the family dynamics, jesus fuck, you guys. Family dynamics have such a trend to slot women into nurturing and protective roles, where the "older sister" "is the one with the brain cell" and "will take care of him" and will be there suborned to his story to be a surrogate mother figure that takes care of him. This, frankly, sucks.
I am an older sister as a fairly important part of my identity. I love being an older sister. But the way this fandom treats older sisters as tiny non-sexual mothering machines with no interiority or autonomy is not good at all, when it comes to actively respecting women as people.
Honestly, I don't like either option, but when you look at how women get treated when sisterified in fanon (older responsible figure who will take care of our precious baby boy) and how women get treated when shipped (mothering options still exist here but also sometimes they dom him), I might prefer the shipping. And I just did a whole multi paragraph about how much the shipping sucks!
I'm not even going to get into what happens when women get actively assigned mom in a family dynamic. All the worst parts of shipping with none of the fun smut.
I am aware I am talking about the worst excesses of family dynamic here, because this fandom offers lots to choose from, and there are ways to do family dynamic in a good way. Some of the most important relationships in my life are familial, and when actually delved into, you can absolutely still portray a full and nuanced portrayal within a family dynamic. This is a possibility. But god, when I look at the fandom trends and what rises to the top of my dash, oof.
And like, there's a larger trend in this fandom where people seem to be incapable of thinking of friendships as valuable and worthy, if you see them as important to each other it must be familial, but when you do it with women, damn.
Can we give seeing women as full autonomous being who are capable of their own opinions and desires a shot? See them as more than just romance options or [illegal to romance] options? Just let them be friends? Please?
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So with Black Sails now on Netflix I just want to talk a little bit about my favourite monologue from the show….
Charles Vanes monologue to Flint when there in Miranda’s House.
Yes I know it’s the ‘is it gay to live in a house’ speech but as I’ve gotten older it’s come to mean a lot to me I guess.
Because it’s asking the question, what would we do, we the people who live in the safety and comfort of our homes, our communities, the safety provided to us by the state, do to keep that comfort? To keep ourselves in the familiar comfort of civilisation and what that comfort requires from us. For us to look past and ignore. A question I think is more important now than it was a decade ago.
“Give us your submission, and we will give you the comfort you need.”
I think it’s a monologue most comparable to Max’s speech to Anne at the beginning of season three when she speaks of what home means to her and in an way Madi’s voices speech to Rogers in season four. They know what was required to build that home, a question that I think is very important for those of us living in the West to ask ourselves, particularly with our counties histories of colonialism.
Idk but when I’m thinking about the big theme of civilisation in the show this is the speech, alongside Max’s that comes to mind. Because all these character have been hurt and rejected by civilisation in one way or another but I think out of all the characters, even Flint, Vane and Max get civilisation best of all in a way. Vane because he wholeheartedly rejects it and Max because she most of all understands what was required to build that room in the first place.
Just yeah. The ‘is it gay to live in a house’ speech always gets me because it’s the civilisation speech to me. It’s defiantly the one that’s made me sit down and think the most.
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red-might-be-dead · 20 days
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hello hi here to force strange thoughts into your brain once again, this time about jrwi (wow who could’ve guessed)
been thinking about this for a little but it’s basically what i think some campaigns would be if not podcasts, i haven’t listened to some of the older ones so i’m sorry they’re not on here :(( if you have any ideas feel free to add them btw :DD
RIPTIDE!!!!! - really long animated series
not an anime though, no matter how much grizzly wants it, it would be an animation style where the characters could have very clearly different nose, face and body shapes, really pushing my riptide nose agenda here sorry, each episode would be like 20-40 minutes long and instead of coming out in seasons there would be massive gaps in between episodes, from 2-6 months long, to leave time for writers and animators to get stuff done (massive team of animators btw, i feel like it would be pretty successful)
PRIME DEFENDERS!! - comics
literally nothing else they could be, just really well made, well performing comics (i’ve already talked about this before you can stalk my talk tag if you really want to find it lmao), the comic company making them would be keeping well away from movies n shit btw
APOTHEOSIS!!! - i wasn’t really sure about this one to be honest
i had to ask my friend and she said anime which i don’t agree with but i can see it, i think maybe a short book series where each book is 150 - 300 pages and is about a different god they have to kill/a different episode, i think that works but if anyone has any better ideas please tell me :D!!
BLOOD IN THE BAYOU!!! - i hate to say it, i really do…
bitb would be a really long really good 80s horror book with strong homoerotic undertones, a satisfied fanbase and lots of active members in the community making fan comics, films, writing, theories and art ect… until well after the book came out……….. and then it would be made into the most egregious and awful live action movie you have ever seen, the most awful casting (like chris pratt as officer dudes….. throws up) and even worse sfx, oh yeah and the characters would be ruined and the story would become so butchered it wouldn’t make sense, they would do some shit like cut out becky so kian just kisses some random lady (removing both a really good and well written character and a layer of kian’s character that i think is super important) and make rolan really be an evil bug spy the whole time so rand has to kill him to save the town also add in a whole new sub plot that never existed like the rand family is secretly a long line of bug alien hunters or something fucking stupid like that and the entire fanbase would murder whoever thought re-writing the story was a good idea (ahaha can you tell ive been through something like this before ahahaha, character morals and motives being removed and whatnot ahahahhahahaha.)
anyways………
THE SUCKENING!!! - live action series
it would be well made though, unlike the bitb movie it would be its own original thing, have great makeup and effects also be well casted and well shot, well written, ect ect, it would bloody and gory and not suitable for people who can’t handle showing bones and organs all over everywhere, lots of shitty rip off merch would be made though and the fandom would be 99% gay little freaks (normal suckening enjoyers) and 1% homophobic straight white men who get mad whenever they see soda and emizel having gay sex on screen or whatever fag shit that biting thing was
again feel free to add your thoughts and ideas and shit in the reblogs it would be nice to read them :DD!!
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buggyjuggie · 7 months
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Here are some random headcanons/ideas about johnny/johnshi that have been brewing in my autistic brain for a few days :3
Headcanons
• Johnny has been a hug fan of Van Damme ever since childhood. He tought of Van Damme as his idol.
• Johnny still is in contact with his mom and she’s the only person in the cage family that knows of Johnny’s and Kenshi’s relationship.
•Johnny Kitana Millena Syzoth and Ashrah have movie night every week
• He likes it when Kenshi runs his fingers across his chest tattoo
•He’s also extremely ticklish
•Johnny is autistic (TRY AND CHANGE MY MIND I DARE YOU) his hiperfixations are movies(duh) and history
•Johnny is actually really smart and people tend to be surprised when they come over and see that he has a college diploma
• For special events he’ll wear a black pencil eyeliner
•He knows how to take care of himself like bro probably has 24 step skincare routine, uses hand moisturiser ALL THE TIME, wears lipglosses/vaseline, clean healthy nails, a bunch of different types of shampoos ( clean girl aesthetic)
•If Kenshi had a dificult or stressful day Johnny will let him lay on his chest (titties)
•Johnny is the best when it come to gift giving. While to others it may look like Johnny doesn’t listen to anyone but himself he actually remembers a lot of details about his friends and while it may look like he’s not listening he’s actually doing the exact opposite.
•Smoke sees Johnny as an older brother and sometimes asks him for advice or just to hang out
•Johnny and Kitana and besties they go clothe shopping often and talk about drama from both hollywood and outworld
• He teaches the characters from outworld how to use technology like phones, TV’s ect.
Ideas
(Feel free to take these if you want because i can’t write fanfiction to save my life lol)
• Switched AU- very simple Johnny and Kenshi switch places so instead of Kenshi loosing his eyesight it’s Johnny who looses it
•Double date- Kenshi and Johnny go on a double date with Tanya and Millena or Syzoth and Ashrah (or any ship of your choice)
•Cuddle fic- i don’t get how theres so little fics of them just cuddling and being domestic gays (LET MY BOYS BE HAPPY AND CUDDLE)
• Ghost fic- ok i know i just said there needs to be more fluff BUT I’m also a sucker for hurt comfort so essential johnny dies or has to be killed and his soul goes into Sento and that way he can communicate with Kenshi (i have a full post with more details)
•Childhood-Johnny tells Kenshi about his childhood after he noticed the little things about johnny that dont make sense or are concerning ( can you tell im a sucker for hurt/comfort)
Sorry for the bad grammar english isn’t my first language but i hope you enjoyed reading my rambles :3
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bu11seye · 2 months
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permanent interactions call .
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by liking this post you are giving me permission to just throw jessie into your inbox randomly , tag you in random starters , and make your muse a more constant person in jessie's life ! this also means more ooc communication for plotting , and establishing more dynamic and fleshed out relationships for our characters . * if we are already actively shipping , by liking this you are giving me permission to up our interactions . multis please list which muses you'd like this for , or say whole blog !
things that jessie can and will probably do for your muse :
bake them treats .
tend to their pets injuries !
steal some things for them !
make them things !
help them with mundane tasks !
listen to their problems and give unwanted advice !
talk their ear off .
things that i ( mimi ) can and will probably do for our muses :
send unprompted memes, asks , and random scenarios for our muses to interact .
hop into your inbox ( through here or discord ) to talk about things that remind me of our characters .
create a tag for us here on tumblr and reblog things for our muses .
create pinterest boards and edits for our muses .
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please be aware that i am looking for platonic relationships before shipping , but we can see where things go . jessie will most likely reference your character in threads with others depending on the relationship we create .
below are some platonic and kinda random dynamics i want to explore based on verse !!
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wanted connections main verse : best friend , found family , coworkers -- other vets ; bartenders or just odd job workers , friendly and not so friendly neighbors , club / party / drinking buddies , villain that jessie can just scheme against like they're in a cartoon , roomie , annoying classmate she follows on socials , the owner of a place she frequently visits , old classmates and townspeople of where she grew up , friends of her parents ( older muses ) , unrequited crushes ( both sides are welcome ) , friends of her older brother woody , new partners of her older brother woody , more gay friends to do more gay things with , flings that stay flings -- no romantic ties , college friend group .
wanted connections vampire verse : all of the dynamics above , owner of a bunker or safe house , connections for when she stays certain places and needs to start over , personal blood bags , someone to look after her different houses and her pets while she is away . other sires of her now deceased maker father adam ( bio in progress but can be given on request ) to bond with , other vampires from his sireline that hate that she killed him / are after her , family of victims that jessie herself has killed , designers and rich celebrity circles where she would have more access to wealth and money through connections rather than compulsion , old flames and relationships from the past that pop up out of the woodwork every hundred or so years , people to do favors for her in exchange for manual labor like her strength or ability to be somewhere quickly to give messages , witches on standby , ghosts who haunt her house .
wanted connections hunger games verse : other tributes of her games , capitol workers , other members of her district , past winners , mentees , her own mentor and other mentors of the games , game makers , lucky flickerman / effie trinket / canon characters and family of those canons , designers , tribute that kills jessie in her games ( wanting to do a ghost / haunting plot for character work ) , allies , sponsors , cooks , flings , stable hand for when she lives in the capitol for awhile after her games .
wanted connections demigod verse : mentor , bunk mate , sparring partner , monster friend , other demi gods to befriend , quest members (2) open to more than one mun for trio dynamics ! .
if you are interested in writing in the same verse as another mun i am currently writing with that you see on the dash , please contact me so i can set something up to talk with both you and the other mun . i am more than welcoming of threads that involve more than one mun but all parties need to be on the same page in order to proceed <3
wanted settings i would like to explore for misc verses :
western , historical , high fantasy , otherworldly ( alice in wonderland , coraline , narnia , etc ) , apocalyptic , dystopian / utopian .
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itsbansheebitch · 3 months
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As someone who grew up in Tennessee where it was normal to have nightmares about your parents brutally murdering you for bring gay or some other flavor of fruity, I am SO HAPPY (not sarcasm) that ya'll feel safe enough to identify as he/him lesbians and use neo pronouns and have multiple partners and be out and happy or private and happy and I'm just so happy for ya'll.
It's the "weird ones" of the community that kept me alive in Tennessee. It's seeing happy poly couples on Tiktok talking about making breakfast for each other and people on Tumblr with neo pronouns talking about how their parents are trying their best to learn and make them comfortable. It's the beautiful trans people on Instagram who talk about their struggles with passing and figuring out if they even WANT to pass. It's the older people in the community who survived the AIDS epidemic and don't really get all the new labels, but are happy that so many people feel comfortable being out in public. It was my classmates talking about being aro and ace.
It was those people who kept me going. Seeing people who were considered strange even by their own community be genuinely HAPPY gave me fuel to keep going.
Thank you to everyone who is considered "strange" or "abnormal" or "not real" by the community. You're what keeps the community going.
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