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it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.

at this point straight people on tumblr are like mythical beasts to me. They once ruled this earth, or so it was said, but now only few have ever encountered one, and they will be condemned to ten years mockery for their visions

getting severely clear just how many people have never heard someone tell a trans man "honey, gay men call each other 'sis' and 'queen' all the time"

(or maybe never listened when a trans guy opened up about it)

Such a adorable transgender girl! She's soooooo pretty!!!!

"This is the gender fuckery and cis+ website"You guys can't even handle trans people who don't want to physically transition

So often, twink death is framed as a bad thing. However, the "twink death" for trans men* is frankly one of the most healing things you will bear witness to (pun intended).

Guys whatever you do never make a shitpost about trans discourse in reference to an actual interaction you had and making it vague enough where people who don’t know you can’t tell it’s about an actual interaction you had with someone. It will get popular and people who spend to much time online can and will make up weird interpretations about what you said and you as a person.

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

the way rtd has single handedly been responsible for the majority of queer storylines we’ve seen on british tv since the 90s and has done so much to normalise queer lives on tv (not to mention creating queer as folk, in which the american version changed the landscape of queer american television) so to see him do the same but by specifically centring trans lives on his big return to one of the biggest tv shows of all time, knowing that the entire country would be watching, the country at the forefront of terfism with another huge figure in british pop culture as the leader (jkr)... yeah, i'll take the campiness, i'll take on the nose dialogue.

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

Small changes I would have made to Doctor Who’s 60th Anniversary episode

For the most part, I really like The Star Beast. However, here are a few things I would have done differently.

Firstly, I think they should have made it clear that Rose Noble is nonbinary before the Meta-Crisis was reactivated. A trans woman is no more nonbinary than a cis woman. They make it very clear she’s trans but not that she’s nonbinary. Can a person be nonbinary while using exclusively she/her pronouns? Absolutely! However, they don’t make it clear that’s what they are doing.

The easiest way would have been to have Rose use she/they pronouns. I would have had Rose wear a badge with ‘she/them’ on it. I would also have added and tweaked a few lines when Donna and Sylvia were talking about Rose in the kitchen.

Sylvia: I don’t know. When I say she looks gorgeous, is that right? I mean, is it sexist? Or is it even the right word for someone who’s nonbinary? I never said it to him when he was… Oh… oh sorry.

Donna: Does she look gorgeous? Yes! So, stop worrying.

Sylvia: I just get so clumsy.

Donna: I know. So do I. You know Rose uses they/them pronouns too. You could use those if it’s easier.

The other thing I would change is the stupid line about a male presenting Doctor not ever thinking of letting something go. I hate that line. Not only is it sexist, it’s also said to the Doctor who – in one episode – has already been more emotionally open than any of the ones who came before including the one who was a woman.

Instead, it would have gone something like,

Doctor: We’ve still got to fix you two because the Meta-Crisis might have slowed down but that thing is wrapped around your cortex.

Donna: Yes, we know.

Rose: We know everything. Thanks.

Donna: And you apparently know nothing, even though you really should.

Rose: We’ve got all that power but there is a way to get rid of it.

Donna: It isn’t even a part of us, not really.

Rose: If a part of who you are isn’t really you or it’s hurting you, you can let it go and change.

Donna: How many times have you changed Doctor and this didn’t even occur to you! Anyway, like my wonderful daughter taught me we can let parts of ourself go and so we choose to let it go.

Then afterwards, there would have been a conversation about how Donna couldn’t have done that the first time around. It was happening to quickly; she didn’t know it was an option and she didn’t think she was worth anything without it. Now she knows better.

Then they’d talks some more about why the Doctor has his ‘old face back’. Is it because he isn’t able to change and move forward at the moment or is there another reason?

[Image ID: a black and white typography edit that reads "why not?" with underlined text. in the center of the image are two vials. one is testosterone and one is estradiol. on either side are stalks of morning glory with blossoms and many leaves. the entire image is textured to look aged and photocopied. /End ID]

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okay ill be offline for the next few hours (going to a water park) but before I leave I just wanna say

I <3 trans people <33333

Such a cute transgender girl! I love everything about her! She's amazing! I'd love to go for a drive up the San Francisco coast with her and buy her lunch!