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gosensi · 1 year

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You Buy your wood pipes in canada

You Buy your wood pipes in Canada

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We enjoy this pipe because of its moderate bowl size, which is ideal for daily usage, and its strategically situated (and suitably sized) carb, which gives you considerable control over how much smoke you pull. We particularly appreciate the metal screen, which prevents ash from flying into your throat during inhalation. But if you want to smoke without using metal, you may also use a glass screen.

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ottostore142 · 8 months

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Cook Rice to Perfection with a Premium Rice Cooker in Australia

Indulge in flawlessly cooked rice every time with our top-tier rice cooker in Australia. From traditional white rice to specialty options, our cookers offer convenient settings for diverse rice varieties. Designed for efficiency and precision, these cookers simplify meal prep. Whether you're a seasoned chef or a kitchen novice, our rice cookers guarantee delightful results with minimal effort. Elevate your cooking experience today!

#floor polisher cleaner scrubber #hoverboard for sale #bbq hotpot plate #rice cooker australia #safe box for sale #storage racks for toilets #storage racks toilet #automatic vacuum capping machine #can sealing machine #can packing machine line

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rockpapertheodore · 1 year

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I cannot tell you how frustrated I am with the anti-math movement because despite what anyone thinks in high-school, you use math constantly every day in ways the very, like, sexless? way school teaches math will never prepare you for.

If you want to run a business? Inventory costs, storage and logistics, labour and wages, bills.

You have any customer service job? You are making change. You are making SO much change. All the time. Sometimes the computer works and you're safe, but sometimes your entire point of sale is beholden to the whims of a third party system with a web server of your entire inventory on the other side of the state and it's gone down. Again. So u gotta do all the math on paper because you're still open because it's an inconvenience, not a reason to stop business.

Baking.

Building something? Gotta do some dang ol' physics and engineering if u wanna do it efficiently and with minimal expenses.

Sports people are doing so much subconscious math all the time, without ever knowing it, and being aware of all the ways geometry (if ur playing a stick-and-ball game like baseball or cricket or pool) or physics (literally every sport)

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not sure where I was going with this beyond "im so annoyed with the incompetent presentation of math in US public schools." Please understand I'm not trying to shame anyone, and I am not judging anyone for struggling with math. Math is an arcane wizard language invented to quantify and understand the functions of the world around us. The human brain is a pleasure-seeking monkey with astronomical pattern-recognition abilities, and some beautiful autist in the past went "hey actually what if I could measure everything?" And math started.

I'm not even particularly good at any discipline beyond general mathematics because I've been making change for customers since I was 6.

Also its really fun making ur bosses sweat when you piece together the profit margins on accident because you 'tism for a second and guesstimate the cost of buying in the product and margin of profit based upon sale price and volume of sales.

Anyway learn and understand just enough to survive, and then just enough more to make your employers sweat when you can explain to your coworkers approximately how much the store is making.

Shoutout to my discalculic homies, I don't know how to make math that doesn't suck yet, but I'll do my damndest to help u out when they create a sequel to numbers that makes sense.

#math is annoying but like #its a lot more necessary than people want to think it is

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taeiun · 5 months

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this love is small.

synopsis: some of the little things that they do in your relationship

who: zb1 x gn!reader (not including yujin)

categories: fluff, some crack, headcanon styled scenarios

warnings: mentions of food in jiwoong + taerae's parts, light swearing

word count: 1.1k

✧ JIWOONG !

✧ jiwoong gains a newly formed sixth sense when it comes to your needs; he knows your favourite snacks by heart and also picks up if you guys are low on them without even looking at the cabinet. you don’t even need to ask him to grab a snack for you because he’ll just know. probably knows when those foods are on sale before you even open your mouth to tell him. like, he’s probably already picked up three bags of those chips you really enjoyed last time and they’re waiting on the counter for you.

✧ will send you a notes app shopping list so that you don’t get jumped scared by the random appearance of shrimp chips and sour candies constantly and wonder how they got there half the time when you both haven’t even talked about being out of them.

✧ ZHANG HAO !

✧ hao keeps a collection of short, vlog-like recordings of the two of you in a private, for his eyes only folder on his phone. he watches these whenever he misses you or feels down and needs a pick me up. these videos will range from past dates, his commentary as he records you sleeping, to not even a two second moment of you laughing. you might find the angles unflattering, but he treasures each and everyone, watching them with a goofy ahah smile on his face.

✧ the others have 100% definitely, not even up for question, walked in on him in the middle of a watching session. he’ll just be sitting curled up in bed, blanket draped around him, with the lights turned off and earbuds plugged into his phone. this ends two ways. 1) the member leaves before he can notice and all is well or 2) they tease him only to end up with a pillow to the face

✧ HANBIN !

✧ whenever he’s on tour or can’t see you for long periods of time, hanbin will keep a list of things that happen throughout the days he’s gone to share with you. he never wants you to feel left out of his life and wants full communication with things. he can send you all the pictures you want of his travels, but nothing beats the actual stories.

✧ he mainly keeps tabs of things he did but will include the members’ shenanigans if he thinks they’ll make you laugh. starts a new list every time he has to leave and each one is dated, the activities labeled for what day and the time gone written at the top.

✧ MATTHEW !

✧ a big chatterbox when it comes to you, especially when it comes to his family. phone calls, messages, will even in emails to relatives, the conversation will drift to you no matter the topic. the only criteria needed for this to happen is for someone to simply breath in his direction.

✧ matthew pivots the conversation so fast that it gives his family whiplash. they aren’t complaining though; it’s nice to see him so happy and they can tell just how much he cares about your relationship. he wants them to love you as much as he does and by telling them these fond memories, he’s sure they will.

✧ TAERAE !

✧ the silly man he is, taerae will send you selfie updates throughout the day of where he is. you could probably make and sell your own bootleg, limited edition, taerae of zb1 pcs with how many you get from him. from walks to the company building to convenience store runs, he’s always sending you a picture of when he leaves to when he arrives at the destination as a way of assurance he’s safe.

✧ stores all of these in a folder labeled “for yn and yn only” and refuses to post them publicly, no matter how good you tell him some of them are. the background settings of his photos are always interesting. sometimes the members will be there, sometimes it’s while he’s in a storage closet. it’s funny until you wake up to find selfies of him at mcdonalds at 4 am with a handful of chicken nuggets shoved in his mouth.

✧ RICKY !

✧ spoils you so much. he knows that love doesn’t mean the amount of money you spend on someone but he can’t help but buy trinkets that remind him of you. the thought process is basically just: “oh. this kind of looks like yn.” and proceeds to checkout with a ditto keychain. ricky pays close attention to what type of accessories you tend to wear and prefer for this very reason. if your ears are pierced, you’ll find a new pair waiting for you on your desk that look eerily similar to his… like what? nooooo he totally didn’t go and buy subtle matching stuff pfttt nah- ok yes. please wear it; coordinate matching outfits with him.

✧ also, don’t bother asking for the prices of these things. he’ll never tell you because he knows that you’ll pay him back and he doesn’t want that. he doesn’t expect anything back and wants to make sure that you understand that he wants to do these things. you also probably won’t want to know because oof scary.

✧ GYUVIN !

✧ omfg he will abuse voice memo privileges to hell and back in order to let you in on dumb jokes and random thoughts. gyuvin constantly has his phone close within his reach just because of this so that he never misses the chance to blow your mind with… whatever falls from his mouth. even when in bed. the voice memos range from “i love you so much i don’t know what i’d do without you” to “did you know you are always within three meters of a spider?”. you never know if you’ll be swooning or sleeping with one eye open with these.

✧ the worst ones come at night for sure; he’ll wake up suddenly, blindly search for his phone, string together a weird ass sentence that only he’d be able to decipher, send it, then knock himself out again and sleep without remorse for his actions. he should be paying for your icloud with how much storage he clogs with those messages.

✧ GUNWOOK !

✧ he’s classically cheesy in a way and sends you screenshotted song lyrics that describe his feelings or remind him of you. “#LiterallyUs” and it’s paper rings by taylor swift. can be unserious about it though. one time, you couldn’t hang out with him because of exams and he responded with “tell me why / ain’t nothin but a heartache”.

✧ there are times where gunwook will not only send the lyrics, but also a clip of him singing that certain part of the song. he mainly sends these versions at night from the bathroom, and you wonder how none of the others have stormed into the room and told him to shut up.

^ . _ . ^ !? told myself to take it easy and not post again this week but um... this is a heavily edited fic from my old blog @/luvjiun that ive been meaning to repost. hehe ok junjun out >_<

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femmefatalevibe · 10 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: Products & Services Worth The Save (or Saving On)

Fashion:

Socks (I love the HUE ones that come out to around $3 per pair)

Tights (another vote for HUE – around $10-13 dollars a pair and should last at least a season or two with proper care)

Layering tanks & tees

Underwear (buy them on a bulk deal – I love Skims' 3/$36 [on the pricier end here] – or getting luxury items on sale, especially pair from Natori or Hanky Panky [usually come up to around $10-$15 a pair]; Parade also has $6 underwear that's great quality for the price)

Trendy items

Costume jewelry (Mejuri, Aurate, and Justine Clenquet are great for the price; Catbird is the best in the game for a moderate-priced alternative to luxury jewelry in my opinion)

Beauty:

Cleanser

Facial Toner

Makeup Wipes

Acne Spot Treatment

Mascara

Brow Gel

Setting Powder/Spray

Shampoo & Conditioner

Body Wash

Body Scrubs

Hand/Body Lotion

Hand Soap

Vaseline (use it as a lip treatment, cuticles, dry skin patches, or as a hydrating eye cream)

Lip Balm (Palmers SPF 15 is my HG)

Makeup Sponges/Spoolies

Hair Ties

Home:

Lighting

Home Decor

Artwork (I have mostly Black & White photography from iCanvas and get so many compliments on them!)

Coffee Maker (a Black & Decker coffee maker or a French Press is all most people need)

Everyday Dishes & Glassware (I love Sweese, Smilatte, and Luigi Bormioli on Amazon)

Dishwasher-Safe Reusable Food Storage Bags/Snack Bags

Produce Saving Containers

Health & Wellness:

Deva Vitamins/Supplements

Fitness Youtube Workouts

Bulk-buying Oats, Beans, and Other Staple Foods

Frozen Fruits & Vegetables (when not in season, especially)

Listening to Podcasts via Youtube

TED Talks

Services:

Facials

Blowout

Dermaplaning

Teeth-Whitening

Mani-Pedi

Professional/Social:

Owning your full name social handles across platforms

Simple Investment Planning (Roth IRA, HSA, 401K - anything involving index funds)

Get a great headshot (many colleges and universities offer their students/alumni headshots for free)

Cash-back & Travel-miles $0 Fee Credit Cards

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hometoursandotherstuff · 8 months

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Shhhh! Built in 1929 during Prohibition, this Spanish style home in Los Angeles, California has a secret floor. 4bds, 5ba, $4.188M.

Lovely foyer with a stained glass window and niche.

The living room is very large and there's a terrace overlooking the city of LA.

The current owners have a couch in front of the sliding doors, but this is the terrace.

Beautiful arched doorways and another niche.

The dining room is nice. I like that fixture.

The kitchen tile is amazing. Beautiful glass doors on the upper cabinets and a great exhaust hood.

There's a gorgeous family room next to the kitchen with a wood ceiling and access to the the patio.

Since the home was built in the 20s, it has stunning original Art Deco tiles in all the baths.

Gorgeous primary bedroom. It has a wonderful fireplace and terrace, plus a wall of windows to let in the natural light.

The baths are flawlessly original.

This may look like a pantry, but it's the entrance to the secret floor. You push on the shelves and they open to a space under the stairs.

The current owners just use it as storage. There’s also a little trip switch inside that was used to alert people on the bedroom floor and set off lights if someone was near the alcohol that was stashed in here. It has lots of potential.

And, behind that bookshelf is a big walk-in safe.

There's not a lot of property, it's built on a hillside and has a little over a third of an acre, but the grounds are nicely landscaped.

#prohibition house with secret room #historic homes #spanish style house #houses #house tours #home tour #unique homes

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todays-problematic-ship · 7 months

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They're doing something about this problematic ship

https://gcaptain.com/smit-team-set-to-begin-oil-transfer-from-decaying-fso-safer/

Today's Problematic Ship that has been Listening and Learning is the FSO Safer

The FSO Safer, which we have previously written about, is a very large crude carrier converted to floating oil storage. It was moored off the coast of Yemen and held more than one million barrels of crude oil when the war in Yemen broke out.

Already old (built in 1976) and in poor condition, the FSO Safer could not be properly maintained or offloaded due to the war. Particularly worrying was the ship's inert gas system, which displaces air in its oil tanks with inert gas. This prevents built-up oil vapours from exploding, e.g., because of electrical sparks. An onboard explosion or simply the rusting into pieces of the FSO Safer could have spilled one million barrels of crude oil into the Red Sea. An oil spill would threaten not only local ecosystems, but fishing water, desalination plants, and ports supporting millions of people with food and fuel imports. (Throughout the war, Yemen has already been one of the world's most food insecure countries.)

As of August 2023 the FSO Safer has been emptied, with its oil transferred to a replacement vessel, the Yemen, in a UN-led operation. The FSO Safer will be scrapped. The Yemen will be moored in place, effectively taking the FSO Safer's place. The reason for this is the disputed ownership of the oil by the warring parties, meaning the oil cannot be sold directly. The UN has offered to mediate negotiations to arrange a sale.

#problematic ships #oil tanker #fso safer

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

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On the Run - Chapter 4

Summary: On the run and fearing for her safety along with both Joel and Negan, Y/N considers leaving to keep them safe but emotional entanglements persuade her to do otherwise.

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47007172/chapters/118830283

Warnings: Swearing, angst, smut, etc.

Notes: I appreciate everyone that takes the time to read and comment on this. It means a lot to us writers getting reviews, no matter how long or short they are.

Everyone was quiet in the car. Most likely out of the fear of what had happened and could happen. For each person the experience was different. But one thing was for certain, they were all scared. Even if some of them were doing better jobs hiding it. For hours Joel drove with them constantly checking on Negan. It would have been a good time for the girls to rest, but they were too afraid of being followed so they kept watch. Plus, it was too cramped to really get any rest.

It felt like forever before Negan finally had woken up enough to interact with them. Although, it took him a while to really gather himself to be able to have a conversation with everyone. He was in pain and the color was drained from his features. It worried Y/N because even if Joel did know what he was doing in helping Negan, she didn’t want something worse to happen to Negan.

When they reached a small town, Negan had spotted a storage facility unit on the side of the road that had an SUV that was out front for sale. After Negan spotted it, he came up with a plan to head back there to store his Mustang and to buy the SUV. It wasn’t something they could just walk in and do though. In the town there was a park that was empty and they stopped there to get the blood washed off them that they had missed the night before. Going into a public place wouldn’t have looked good if they were covered in blood.

Poppy scoped the bathrooms out first since she was the only one that hadn’t gotten bloody last night. When they were certain they would be alone, Negan and Joel went into the men’s bathroom and Y/N headed into the women’s. Staring at herself in the mirror before her, Y/N could see that there were dark circles under her eyes and she looked awful. In her mind at least. Stress was eating away at her and her fears were certainly weighing down on everything. Looking down toward her hands she could see that she was having a hard time getting the dried blood from her skin. Letting out an overwhelmed sound, it made her close her eyes and remember what it was like when that fear overtook her and she saw Negan get shot. Knowing that it was his blood on her hands made her all the more upset. Desperately scrubbing at her hands she couldn’t help being overwhelmed by her own emotions when she started crying.

“Hey,” the weak, raspy voice muttered from behind her making her see that in the doorway Negan must have been standing waiting for her and she could see his reflection in the mirror. Moving into the bathroom with her, Negan moved in behind her to see that she was having a meltdown over the dried blood. “It’s okay.”

“I just keep remembering seeing you get shot and it’s your blood and…” Y/N felt him moving in behind her and his hands placed in over hers underneath the water. Negan’s nose nuzzled in against the side of her neck hushing her faintly while he attempted to help her get the blood from her hands with his gentle caress. “I thought you died when you first got shot.”

“I’m okay,” Negan whispered in her ear trying to calm her down hearing her crying at the thought of what happened to him. Wrapping his arms loosely around her, he could feel the pain from his shoulder radiating throughout his body, but right now it didn’t matter. “I’m still here.”

Negan carefully turned her in his arms after turning off the water. Pulling her in against him, he felt her head burying in against his chest while he squeezed her tightly in his arms in a protective manner, “I’m still here sweetheart. I’m right here. I’m gonna be okay.”

Closing her eyes, she took in the sensation of his fingertips stroking over the back of her head and over her neck. Soothing her the best way he could, Negan pressed a kiss over the top of her head. With her shaking in his arms he could see that the remainder of his blood on her really upset her reminding him all over how important they were for each other right now.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Negan promised her managing to get her to look up at him. Stroking his thumbs in over the sides of her face, he tried wiping at the tears that were there and he weakly smiled. “I swear, I’m not leaving you. I haven’t left you. Touch me.”

“I just,” she began reaching her arm up to caress over the side of his chiseled jawline making his eyes close firmly at her touch. “I never want anything bad to happen to you. There is only one thing in my life that has been a constant for a while and that’s you. I can’t lose you.”

“You haven’t, look at me,” Negan urged her once more taking in a shallow breath when he tenderly pressed his forehead to hers bringing them closer together. “Listen to the sound of my breathing. Feel the warmth of my breath. I’m right here before you. I’m not gone.”

“I just…” she nuzzled her nose in against his feeling his thumbs stroking over the sides of her face and she let out a tremoring breath. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Negan responded with a sigh, tipping his head back enough to press a kiss over her forehead. Pulling her in against his chest again, Negan made sure to hold onto her until he got her to calm down.

“Everything okay?” Poppy moved into the bathroom after they must have taken a while together. Meeting Negan’s eyes in the mirror, Poppy could see that they needed a minute and she pointed back toward the door. “I’m going to wait by the car.”

“We’ll be out soon,” Negan assured Poppy with a nod while Y/N stayed cuddled up to him and he knew that he felt fatigued but he was doing his best to keep it together. “I’m going to be here for you. I promise, I just might be a little closer to God.”

“That’s not funny,” she huffed back at him, her head lifting up to glare at him.

“I just meant because I was more holy,” Negan cracked a joke nodding toward his shoulder where he had been shot. “Get it? I have a hole from where I was…fuck, I was trying to be silly, but it’s probably not funny.”

“It would be funny if I wasn’t so worried about you,” she admitted seeing him dramatically tip his head to the side and it made her smile. “I’m sorry I’m such an emotional mess these last few days.”

“Hey, I am too,” Negan waved his hand in the air at himself bringing attention to the fact that his eyes were damp. “So I can’t blame you for being exactly like me. It’s an emotional fucking few days. So if you need me, I’m right here. I swear. We will take as much time as we need here. Okay?”

Lifting her hands she felt Negan’s fingers hooking with hers and she knew that she had to get it together in order to keep going. Stepping forward, she tipped up on her toes and pressed a kiss over the side of his face. Closing his eyes, Negan leaned into the kiss and felt a breath catch in his throat when she pulled back to stare up at him, “I couldn’t go on without you. I hope you realize how important you are to me.”

“Ditto,” Negan squeezed her fingers one final time before she finished cleaning herself up without Negan leaving her. In fact he waited for her to be done until she helped him out of the bathroom back to the car.

When they got to the storage facility, Y/N and Negan went inside together hopefully to get things done quickly when speaking to the owner. They were able to get a unit to store Negan’s Mustang and get the SUV under the table giving the owner a little extra money to make things hush-hush.

After getting the keys to the SUV and access to the storage unit, they all went back together to get Negan’s Mustang in the unit. Once Joel was done parking it, he got out of the car and wiped his hands off on his pants.

“You know, we listened to the radio and we heard the news. You and your father are the main topic of discussion right now,” Joel informed them of what he and Poppy had heard on the radio together while Negan and Y/N worked out their deal with the owner. “They said your father has been put in a secure location and they mentioned you. They thought you may be dead or missing. Said you were with friends the last time you were seen but didn’t mention any of our names.”

“That’s probably a good thing,” Y/N sighed seeing that everyone seemed exhausted. “It keeps everyone else safe if they don’t know your names. It brings less attention to your families and maybe that means they don’t know who the three of you actually are. Which is a good thing.”

“They would have to be the stupidest bad guys of all time if they didn’t know who we were,” Joel snorted with a wrinkle of his nose making Y/N frown. “It’s your best friend, your bodyguard and my truck was in front of the house. They know who we are.”

“I was trying,” she stated feeling guilty that the three of them were stuck in this position as it was with her. “I’m going to drive now. You and Negan can sit in the back and get some sleep. Poppy will sit up front with me. I have too much nervous energy to really sleep anyways.”

“Are you sure?” Joel confirmed with her seeing her wiggle the keys to the SUV to show that she already had them. With a nod, Joel helped Negan close up the storage unit and he handed Negan over the keys to it after they locked it up. “You doing okay?”

“Best I ever felt,” Negan lied making them all laugh. Sarcasm in a time like this was strange, but they all needed it to an extent. Getting back in the car, she made sure they had everything with them before taking off.

It didn’t take long for all three of them with her to fall asleep which left her alone in the quietness. Most people would have turned on the radio or something to make it through, but she just sat to herself. It helped her think while she drove. Following the back roads like Negan said, she thought about how she got in this situation and how she was dragging all of them along with her. Joel had a family. A life to get back to. Poppy was young and her best friend. Negan’s job was to watch over her. None of them asked for this. And none of them deserved this.

Focusing on everything she knew, she found herself stopping at an empty intersection to think about all of her negative thoughts. Maybe the best thing for her to do was just to leave all of them. They were all asleep. The last thing they really needed was to put their lives in jeopardy because of her. Guilt ate away at her. She kept driving, but the more she drove the worse she felt about things.

Stopping at an empty beach by the side of the road, she looked beside her to see that Poppy was deep in sleep. Gazing over her shoulder, she saw that Negan was behind her and he was completely out of it. Deep breaths were falling from him and she could see the bandaging from his opened shirt making her feel horrible that this happened to him. And then there was Joel who had taken off his plaid button-down shirt to roll it up and use it as a pillow leaving him in his white t-shirt. All of these three were innocent. Being with her had led both Negan and Joel to kill men which made her feel terrible. It should have never gotten to this. Not over her. She was nobody. Her father was something, but she was nobody. She was someone that her father was planning on writing off in a few months anyways. It almost seemed unfair that someone was trying to kill her in the name of a man who didn’t even love or care for her.

Getting out of the car, Y/N was careful in the way that she closed the door. Leaving the keys in the car, she headed for the water and stared out at it. Maybe it was best to make a run for it and hide. Keep the three that were in the car still safe. Closing her eyes, she took in the sounds of the wind around her trying to calm herself. Regardless of how any of them felt for her inside of that car, she loved all of them. Losing them or having them get hurt was the last possible thing she wanted.

“What are you doing?” a voice called out from behind her making her sigh loudly. So much for having time to think things out. Footsteps were heard making her look over her shoulder to see that Joel’s messy hair was blowing in the wind as he approached her.

“Wishing you would still be asleep,” she muttered under her breath making Joel scoff from behind her. Sliding her hands into her pockets she turned back to the water and knew that she couldn’t look at him right now.

“I’m a parent Y/N. I was trained to wake up at the smallest sounds,” Joel spoke with a long, shallow breath. “You shouldn’t be stopping for breaks. Not yet, not until at least the evening. Even then, I don’t know. We need to put some distance in.”

“I think maybe you should go back with the other two and keep going,” she declared feeling her chest aching at the thought. “Just get in the car and leave me here.”

“Are you crazy?” Joel blurt out with a snort stepping in closer to her wondering why she didn’t even bother to look back at him at this point. “You’ve seen what they are willing to do to try to get you. You can’t take on these kind of people on your own. I’m not going to leave you here.”

“If you’re with me, your lives are in danger,” she emphasized her words making Joel huff and fold his arms out in front of his chest. “I’m not worth it Joel. You have a family waiting for you at home. Poppy has a life of…being Poppy. And Negan deserves a life beyond this. You shouldn’t have to be on the run because of me.”

“We’re all victims in this,” Joel stammered shaking his head feeling a small chill flood his body since he just followed her out of the car instead of grabbing his long sleeve shirt that he had taken off previously. “This is happening to all of us. Not just you. Running away on your own will do nothing but make sure that you do get hurt and everything that has happened so far will have been for nothing. You need to get back in the car and just keep driving.”

“Joel…” she felt her bottom lip trembling. Her heart was hammering in her chest while she thought about everything he had said to her in the last twenty-four hours. “You are right about me. I am a piece of shit. I am my father’s daughter and his blood runs inside of me. Maybe I am just as bad as he is. Bringing the three of you in on this…”

“We didn’t have a choice,” Joel reminded her stepping forward to place his hands in over her shoulders to squeeze over them firmly from behind. “Right now we’re all in this. Not because you forced us to be, but because situations made us here. And you’re not like your father Y/N. Your father would have never sacrificed himself to save a friend. The moment Negan’s life was on the line, you put yourself in harm’s way in attempts to keep him safe. Your father would have never done something like that. I watched you from where I was. I saw everything. Not many people would pick someone else’s life over their own.”

“I don’t want any of you to die because of me,” she alerted him with a whimpering sound as he approached her closer from behind. Joel wrapped his right arm around her shoulders to pull her back against him while his left wrapped around her waist to hug her from behind. She was crying and she couldn’t help it as Joel buried his nose against the side of her neck. “I love all of you so much.”

“We’re all in this together right now,” Joel’s breath lingered against her flesh making her close her eyes while he held onto her. With the way he was holding onto her right now it felt like how things were before and she wished it would have been that way. The last time they were together like this on a beach was on their trip they took together and back then she thought there was a future for them. “As long as we follow these rules that Negan is setting up, I think we’re going to be okay.”

“We thought we were all going to be okay at the safe house,” she recalled feeling scared and lost because she didn’t have an answer or a way out for things. “I guess you were right about me being a spoiled little rich kid because I have always been used to having things fixed for me. I’ve been trying to break away from my father for as long as I could remember. Now I’m away and I’m fucking scared. I’ve been shot, I almost lost Negan…”

“But you’re still here. We’re all still here,” Joel insisted, his lips grazing over her ear while he squeezed her tightly in his arms. “We just have to keep going and keep working together. There has to be a way out of this. We just have to figure it out. Together. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. I think we all are scared Y/N. But you sacrificing yourself for us, that’s not the answer.”

“I can’t lose you,” she sniffled turning in Joel’s arms to see the way his brown eyes seemed worried about her. “If you’re not in my life, as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters to me. But not having you in my life because you’re not here? I can’t live with that. I can’t lose you or Negan or Poppy.”

“Look at me,” Joel interrupted her, palming in over the side of her face getting her eyes to lock with his. “We can’t think like this. Not yet. Not now. Because then we are already giving up. And I’m not ready to give up. Are you?”

“I just…” she started seeing Joel shake his head slowly.

“You’re not ready to give up because you’re strong. You’re brave,” Joel coached her, his thumb stroking over the side of her face making her eyes come to a tight close. “We’re going to figure all of this out, but we can’t do that if you give up on us.”

A shuddering exhale fell from her throat when Joel hooked his fingers around the back of her neck to pull her in for a hug. Allowing her to rest her head against the center of his chest, Joel pressed a kiss over her forehead. In this moment she knew how lucky she was to have both Negan and Joel supporting her like this. It was so much different than the Joel she had witnessed over the last few days, but this was what she needed to hear. “I won’t let you give up like this. You’re not going to hand yourself over to these people.”

Taking her time to calm down, she knew that they were probably out on the beach longer than they should have been. Once she stopped crying, Joel pulled back enough to stare down at her with his jaw flexing, “We’re going to go back to that car and we’re going to keep driving until the four of us no longer can take it. But we’re going to figure this out. Okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed with him finding herself touched that he was giving her this pep-talk even after everything that happened between the two of them. Joel released her from his arms and she tried to wipe at the tears that were over her face. “I’m sorry. My brain was just full of thoughts and I didn’t know what to do.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s a big deal. This is scary. What’s happened has been really fucking scary,” Joel reasoned with her knowing that she was embarrassed being emotional in front of him. His messy hair flopped with the movements when he reached for her hand and nodded back toward the SUV. “I’ll drive for a while, okay? We can move Poppy in the back with Negan. Then, when you’re feeling better, we can switch.”

“Alright,” she accepted his hand allowing him to lead her back toward the car with a sigh. When they returned Poppy was already getting out to see what was going on. When Joel explained that Y/N had fatigue instead of telling Poppy really what happened, she knew that Joel was covering for her. Joel grabbed his button down from the back and put it back on before getting in the driver’s seat. They checked on Negan to make sure he was still breathing seeing that he was still deep in sleep before leaving. How long actually Joel kept going impressed her. Poppy and Negan were out for hours in the back and she did her best to stay awake to make sure that Joel was safe. After a while she felt Joel’s right hand reaching out to place over hers, squeezing it in a supportive way. Hooking her fingers with Joel’s she didn’t know how to respond to it, but she wasn’t going to turn down any form of affection from him. “Everything good?”

“Very good,” Joel gave her a wink, his thumb stroking over the back of her hand while he continued to drive.

It was another hour or so before Poppy piped in telling them that she could drive. They stopped to switch up with Joel going into the passenger’s seat and Y/N went in the back with Negan. With them switching up their seats, it had woken Negan up enough for him to groggily look between everyone. Getting comfortable in the backseat, Y/N reached for Negan urging him to carefully lay down and rest in her lap.

“Are you sure?” Negan confirmed seeing her nod and he got more relaxed letting out a pained sound when he had to turn a certain way. Stroking her fingers through his dark hair made Negan’s jaw flex and he cuddled his head in closer to her lap.

“I think it might be time for you to take those pain pills,” Y/N suggested seeing the way that Joel looked back at Negan. Joel’s face twisted with an expression Y/N hadn’t seen before when he noticed the way that Y/N was stroking over Negan’s temple. “You’re going to have to at some point.”

“We’d have to get some food in him first. What about a burger? You want us to pick up a burger for you?” Joel offered making Negan groan against Y/N’s abdomen when he rolled in closer to her body. “You gotta eat something big man.”

“I’m going to throw up if I eat anything,” Negan hummed, tipping his head back when Y/N caressed over the side of his face in a tender sweep. “You should get yourself some food though.”

“When we see a burger place, we’ll grab four burgers and fries for all of us,” Poppy decided for them making Negan huff. Lifting his head enough, Negan looked to see where they were noticing that it was very deserted area on a back road at the moment. “Just rest right now Negan.”

After Joel’s order, Negan closed his eyes and his breathing got loud. He was comfortable. Appreciating the way that she touched him.

“You know how special you are to me, don’t you?” Y/N spoke quietly making Negan’s long eyelashes flutter with his head tipping back to stare up at her. “I mean it Negan. I can’t imagine a life without you. Not after having you in it so long.”

Smirking, Negan turned his head to press a delicate kiss over the center of her palm before getting comfortable in her lap again. It didn’t take long for Negan to fall asleep in her lap with her stroking her fingers through his hair. Honestly, it took a long time before they hit any kind of town. And when they did, the sun had started to go down. The town was small and lacking but was a good place to settle down and rest for all of them.

“I think we should stop. We’ll stop at this motel and get adjoining rooms. Once we get Negan settled, Poppy and I will run to go grab some food for all of us,” Joel told them the plan hearing Negan hiss out when he pulled himself up into a seated position in the back seat after he woke up. “It’s best if we don’t have you in public doing things Y/N. So one of the three of us should be the ones doing things with people in public.”

“That’s a good idea,” Negan spoke quietly, reaching for one of the water bottles that Poppy had grabbed for them before they left the safe house. Twisting the lid off, Negan drank down the water in loud, big gulps before shaking his head. “We’ll have to get back on the road by morning. I don’t think we’re far enough away yet.”

“I agree,” Joel got out of the car to get the two rooms after Y/N gave him a pretty decent sum of money to do so. After he got back to the car, they parked by their rooms and Joel helped Y/N get Negan into the room comfortably. Stopping at the doorway before they left Joel nodded to the bag of guns that they had brought in with them. “If you need protection, those are there. Don’t forget that.”

“We’ll be fine,” Y/N assumed they would be at least when Poppy and Joel left the room. Negan was propped up against the headboard of one of the beds. His long legs were stretched out and his back slouched against the headboard. His eyes were heavy with fatigue and she moved over toward the bed to sit down beside him. “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” he feigned a smile to her and he felt her fingers hooking with his. “I’ll be fine tomorrow. My body is just going through some shit right now, but I promise you I’m going to be okay.”

“I know. Because you’re the strongest person I know,” she brought his hand up to her lips to place a tender kiss over the back of his hand. Giving her a wink, Negan shook his head with a chuckle before resting his head against her shoulder. Cuddling in closer to him, Y/N sighed loudly and looked around the room that they were in. “My father would die before staying in a place like this.”

“Yup,” Negan snorted knowing that this wasn’t really that good of a motel, but it was good enough for them to get some rest as well as staying low. “Your father could be on the run, but he would only stop at the highest rated hotels that served caviar.”

They both snickered at the idea of her father being in the position that they were in right now, “I think he’d rather die than be caught in a place like this. He might lose some of his supporters,” she mocked her father knowing that while it was amusing, she still couldn’t help but think about him. “I wonder if he even cares that my life is on the line. If he regrets anything he said to me.”

Lifting his head, Negan could see that she was upset talking about her father and how he would react to all of the things that had been going on with her, “You know, it’s a parent’s job to take care of their children. To love their children unconditionally. I always wondered what that felt like because neither one of my parents were ever like that with me. My mother abandoned me and you see how my father is.”

“Sometimes people just suck Y/N,” Negan grumbled under his breath knowing that she was thinking poorly of herself again with her thoughts. “It doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Sometimes the world gives the strongest people the hardest situations because they know that they can survive it. No matter how much it hurts.”

“Is that how you feel after what happened to Lucille?” she wondered hearing Negan sigh loudly and he cleared his throat. Dragging his fingers across his chest, Negan grabbed a hold of the rings that were resting there from the necklace he wore to look at them. “That the world gave you that situation because they knew that you could survive it?”

“I didn’t say the world wasn’t a cruel bitch,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip hearing her let out an amused exhale. “Because she is. Lucille shouldn’t have had to suffer through the pain that she did. She was such a good person. She deserved a hell of a lot better than me, but she never left my side. Of the two, it should have been me. Not her.”

Y/N’s eyes were hooked on him watching his contemplation about everything and she noticed the way that his hand was shaking while he held onto the rings, “I wanted to die when she was gone. But I have to believe that I’m here for a reason.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she frowned, reaching out to brush her fingers through his dark hair noticing the way that Negan’s eyes lifted to hers. “You know, I know you’re strong. Because you aren’t even mine and I don’t know if I would be able to live in this world if I lost you. Lucille was your everything and look at you. I’m glad you’re still here. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known.”

With a heavy breath, Negan shifted on the bed beside her pressing in closer to her. The warmth of his breath lingered over her lips, his nose slightly nudging hers with his thumb caressing in over her jawline. Skimming his lips in against hers made her eyes come to a tight close but the more that Negan thought about things the more he realized it wasn’t the right time. Kissing at her cheek, Negan heard the shallow breath that fell from her while she stroked her fingers at the back of his neck.

“You would have really liked each other,” Negan insisted when he thought about Lucille and Y/N. “You both have got a fire in you that she would have loved to see. From what she already knew about you, she thought you were great. The two of you had so much in common. Plus, you both are the only two people in this world that actually cared about me. Saw me for more than I am.”

“She was gorgeous,” she recalled how Lucille was before she got sick. Getting comfortable in the bed again beside Negan she knew that she didn’t want to get upset with him for not kissing her because it made sense. “I remember the first time I saw her I thought she had the prettiest eyes I had ever seen. Your wife was a babe.”

With a snort and a wrinkle of his nose, Negan looked to her and bobbed his head about, “She would appreciate hearing that. You’d probably be her favorite person after hearing that. People liked to bring her down a lot and she got used to it. The world was hard on her.”

“Of course it was because people can’t take seeing a beautiful woman that is absolutely thriving,” Y/N retorted with a shake of her head cuddling in closer to Negan while they kept holding hands. “From what you told me about her, she was an absolute badass.”

“Oh, she was,” Negan agreed with her statement a smirk pressing in over his features when he thought of his late wife. “It was the one woman I was terrified of. I knew that she could kick my ass easily. Even all the way until the end.”

“I’m glad you two had each other,” she stroked her fingers over Negan’s palm seeing the smirk that tugged at his handsome features with the shapes she was drawing over his flesh. “Not many people can say that they found the love of their lives so young. Now, I don’t think many people would say they have found the love of their lives at all.”

“I was pretty lucky,” Negan concluded, his eyebrows bouncing up as she tried to line her hand up with his. It looked like she was trying to compare the size of his hand to hers and he couldn’t help but be amused with it.

“You have huge hands,” she commented lifting his hand up to look it over and Negan snickered at the way her eyes gazed over his fingers. “They are wow. Like, really big.”

“Thank you?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched making her cheeks flush over when she realized the way he was looking at her. “I take it you’re a hands person, huh?”

“You just have really nice hands,” she complimented him hearing his snort being dragged out and she rolled her eyes. “You’re making it weird.”

“You’re making it weird,” Negan joked back nudging her playfully with his hip from where he was lying beside her. With a long sigh, Negan made an arrogant expression drawing her to look at him with a tip of her head in curiosity. “Everything on me is pretty big.”

“Oh God,” she swatted his hand away from her hearing his silly laughter that followed. “Especially your head. I’m sorry I commented on your hands. Holy shit. Your ego is ridiculous.”

“I mean it ain’t ego if it’s true,” Negan tipped his head from side to side hearing her groan out and they both laughed together. With a long exhale, Negan felt her rest her head over the center of his chest and he watched over her closely finding himself enamored with her. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”

“I trust you more than I trust anyone,” she slurred out knowing that what he said wasn’t a promise that he could really make. It scared her knowing how far Negan was willing to go to keep her safe, but she knew he would. He proved that already. “Thinking back on the last few years, the best moments I’ve had are always with you.”

“Ah, but that’s because I had to be there,” he teased her seeing her adjust over him so that she was resting her head on his abdomen while she faced him still hooking her fingers with his. “Would I have been there if I didn’t have to be?”

“I think so,” she muttered noticing the way his dimples sank in and he gave her a single not. “I’m glad you’ve been there. You’re the best part of my life.”

“And you’re the best part of mine,” Negan repeated brushing her hair out of her face with his free hand. “I think you’re the thing that kept me up and moving. I would have just died to myself in my bed if you weren’t here. I had no reason to live. No reason to keep going. Other than you.”

“Negan…” she stared out at him, her eyes tearing over when she forced herself to sit up from the bed and pull herself over toward the edge of the bed. “You know that I’ve loved you for so long. Shit, the moment I saw you I fell in love with you. With that fucking smile and those damn dimples.”

“My mother always told me that my dimples were the things that kept me from getting in trouble,” Negan remembered his childhood while he raised up carefully on the bed. Moving in a way that wouldn’t hurt him, Negan slid in beside her and rest his head on her shoulder. “I guess you can blame my father for those.”

Leaning in closer, she rest her head over Negan’s and frowned, “You had to have known how I felt about you. How I feel about you.”

“I do,” Negan acknowledged keeping his fingers locked with hers while they held hands. “And if things were different, I think you and I both know that we would be together. I just was with Lucille and then you found Joel. And I understand why you love Joel,” Negan turned his head enough to press a kiss over her shoulder making her chest ache. “I don’t fault you for falling in love with someone else when I wasn’t available for you. It’s just the way things worked out and I get it.”

“He doesn’t even love me,” she shook her head with an uncomfortable sound making Negan grumble under his breath.

“We both know that’s not true. He didn’t show up at your party for your father, he showed up for you. He talked to the most important person in his life about you. He was telling you how much he cared about you, he just didn’t think he could love you because of his past,” Negan countered lifting his head to stare out at her seeing the confusion in her eyes. “Joel showed up at that party for you because he realized that after everything you two went through together, he fell in love with you. If the world didn’t fall to shit that night, you would have been going off with Joel. My guess is he would have apologized, told you everything and then the two of you probably would have had wild romantic sex under the stars in the back of his fucking truck.”

“Wow,” she snickered seeing the expression that Negan gave her. “You really think that?”

“I do actually,” Negan responded, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat hating to admit even after all the shitty things that Joel had said and done that he actually loved Y/N. “I know that he’s just mouthing off because he’s upset. Your father played him like a fiddle. Your dad knew exactly what to say to push his buttons and that’s what he did. It was your father firing him up. And Joel is worried about Sarah. A parent acts out when their baby is put in harm’s way. You have to understand that.”

“Why can’t he look at me the way you do though?” she questioned making a breath catch in Negan’s throat and he lowered his head down. With his good arm, he lifted it and stroked over the back of his neck before shrugging. “You’re not afraid to tell me that you love me.”

“Because your father didn’t hurt me like he did Joel,” Negan expressed why he thought Joel was the way he is. “I have gotten to know all of you over the last how many years? You know I love you. And if things were different, you know that I would…”

Negan’s words were caught up and he gave a weak smile, waving his hand in the air after he started to say it, “Shit, I shouldn’t even be saying this and you know that. We can’t talk about the what ifs of things. Just know that no matter what, I got you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“And I’ve got you,” she responded, leaning in to rest her forehead against his while she stroked her fingers over the back of his neck. A knock was heard on the door before it started to open alerting them that Poppy and Joel were back with their meals. “Hey you two.”

“Sorry we took so long. There was a clothing barn right next door and we figured we would grab some clothes for us to change into so we weren’t constantly in the same thing,” Joel fumbled with the multiple bags that were in his arms. It looked like Joel carried in everything along with the cup carrier from a fast-food restaurant while Poppy just had two food bags. “I kind of guessed on everyone’s size and…style. Not that this store had a lot of style but beggars can’t be choosers in this situation.”

“Everything was really ugly, but at least we won’t stink,” Poppy griped making both Negan and Y/N smirk when Joel nearly tripped over himself trying to set down all the bags that were in his arms. “I think Joel’s style was there though. It fit right up his alley. Lots of plaid and denim.”

Joel managed to juggle the drink carrier while Poppy kicked the door closed with her foot, “I’m going to take that as a compliment. I’m just a simple man. And I’m old. I don’t know shit about style nor do I care to. I’m just happy we’ve got some real food and not snacks.”

“We went all out because I was hungry,” Poppy exclaimed walking over to the small table at the corner of the room dropping down the bags that they had. “We got burgers, fries, shakes and apple pies. It smelled so good, I just had to get it.”

“That is all out,” Y/N almost teased watching Negan’s nose wrinkle when Joel set the cup holder of all the shakes down on the table.

“We got chocolate shakes because I assumed everyone likes chocolate?” Joel confirmed with the two of them seeing them both smirk and nod. “That’s what I thought. Who doesn’t fucking love chocolate. Poppy thought we should get two strawberry and two chocolate, but I went with this instead. We all just have the same thing. Less complicated.”

“Makes sense to me,” Negan squeezed Y/N’s hand one final time. Sounds of fumbling around were heard and Negan saw that Joel was digging around in the bag for a few things. When Joel pulled out two pill bottles Negan sighed knowing what he was doing.

“You both need to take some antibiotics and some pain medication with this food,” Joel worked the lids off the bottles pulling out one of each for both Negan and Y/N. “You’re going to take these and after we eat, I have to change your bandages. I need to work more with you Negan so we can make sure you’re okay and everything heals right.”

“Yes sir,” Negan accepted the pills and the meal that Joel had gotten for him using the nightstand for his meal. Y/N got up to sit at the table with Poppy, but they both had to make sure to take the pills with Joel watching them. “You really take this nursing shit seriously.”

“No one is dying from an infection on my watch,” Joel dropped down on the bed beside Negan to use the other table that was between the two beds as his table. Negan gazed over at Joel in amusement that Joel had become so relaxed with him, but it didn’t bother him as they ate. For their meal, everyone was ultimately quiet. They were all probably starving because they had gone a whole day without eating. “Who knew that a burger in the middle of nowhere would taste this fucking good?”

“Is it really that good or are we just that hungry?” Y/N spoke with a mouthful making Joel smirk before taking another big bite of the burger they had gotten for her. “Maybe they just do food better out here.”

“Oh, I saw them making it. It’s good because it’s so damn bad for you,” Poppy added her input in with a mouthful of the apple pie she had grabbed for herself. “I miss food like this. I don’t get much of it anymore.”

“You should really eat whatever makes you happy,” Negan frowned sucking down on the milkshake that they had gotten him. Noticing the way that Joel was dipping his fries into his milkshake made Negan snort. “Creative.”

“If it tastes good, there shouldn’t be a problem with it,” Joel shrugged his shoulders and it was nice for all of them to have a moment of downtime together. Especially after all they had been through. “Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. You said you knew the man that I shot? Do you know his full name? Because there is a guy I know, his name is Bill. He’s a bit of a crazy, but he’s a survivalist and he can find out anything about anyone. Really smart guy. Maybe if I asked him for some help, he would be able to find out who is doing this and how we can stop this.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt,” Negan acknowledged searching through the drawer in the nightstand for something to write. “Do you trust him?”

“Yes. I trust him. He might not trust me because he trusts no one, but I think he will deliver some results,” Joel rubbed his hands together after he finished off his fries. “I’ll call him from the room’s phone since no one knows we’re here and see what I can find out. Hopefully by the time we leave in the morning we will have some kind of results.”

“Do you think he could actually figure something out?” Y/N sat forward in her seat as Joel swallowed down hard with his last bite of food. “Like, we’d be able to do something with the information?”

“I hope so,” Joel shrugged his shoulders, his expressive eyes gazing between all three of them that were around him. “He’s the smartest person I know. If anyone would be able to help us. It’s Bill. I’ll give him the name of the person I shot. Tell him about our situation and hope he can pull a rabbit out of a hat.”

“You just now only thought about this guy?” Poppy questioned, tipping her head to the side while she continued to eat her pie.

“Well, like I said, he’s kind of crazy,” Joel reiterated with a scoff, heading over toward the phone that was in the room. “We are just on good terms because I was able to help him and his partner with some things that no one else could. Plus, my brain isn’t exactly thinking perfectly while I’m being chased down by people who are trying to kill us.”

“Touché,” Y/N stammered pointing her finger at Joel who went back to dialing a number to talk to this Bill guy. She didn’t want to get her hopes up thinking that someone could help them since this was a strange situation to begin with. “Hopefully he can figure things out for us. Sooner rather than later.”

“I hope so,” Joel hummed waiting for the phone to pick up and when it did, he turned away from the others to try to talk to Bill who he was obviously bickering with at first.

They all listened in, somewhat amused with the things that Joel was saying while he spoke to this person. It sounded like a complicated conversation, but once her father’s name was mentioned things seemed to turn around. Hearing her father’s name made things come into perspective for Y/N for her. Joel was only on the phone a few more minutes before coming to the edge of the bed Negan was on to sit on it.

“He wasn’t really interested until I mentioned your father and now he’s eagerly looking into it. Told me he needs about two days, but I will keep checking in just to make sure,” Joel repeated what Bill had told him just on the phone, his eyes gazing over to Negan. “Do you think you could call Rick so I can talk to Sarah?”

“Oh, yeah…,” Negan waved Joel forward and moved toward the phone with him leaving the two women to themselves.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Poppy spoke in a whisper making Y/N lift her head up to meet her friend’s worried stare. “I’ve been thinking about last night when Negan was getting threatened by that guy and you went out. I stayed in the woods. Your lives were on the line and I did nothing.”

“What could you have done Poppy? I didn’t expect you to make some kind of big gesture,” Y/N realized her friend visibly felt guilty and she shook her head. “I was willing to give up my life for Negan’s. I didn’t expect you to do the same thing for Negan or I.”

“But doesn’t that make me a bad friend?” Poppy wondered knowing that Joel, Negan and Y/N were making a lot of grand gestures toward one another with this trip. “The three of you are all close and willing to do anything for each other. Yet, I just stayed in the woods terrified. I was scared. I didn’t want to die.”

“You’re not wrong for being scared Poppy,” Y/N slid closer to the edge of the bed hearing Joel talking in the background, but she was focusing on her friend right now. “Fear makes us react differently in certain situations. I’m not mad at you because I understand. If circumstances were different, I don’t think I would have done for anyone else what I’ve done for Negan. Except for maybe Joel.”

“You’re lucky,” Poppy stated cleaning up the mess from her meal so that way things were straightened up for them. “You have two men that love and care for you. Some people could only be so lucky.”

Hearing that made Y/N’s heart sink. Joel and Negan both meant so much to her but she didn’t know if she would describe how things were like that. With a ruckus behind her, Y/N could tell that Joel had just gotten off the phone and was starting to move around.

“Okay, so I’m going to take care of Negan’s wound and then we’re going to get to yours,” Joel informed them not giving Y/N enough time to respond to Poppy’s comment. Joel had Negan sit down in one of the chairs and Y/N scoot to the bottom of the bed to watch. Joel helped Negan get his shirt off and the bandages that Negan had were blood stained making her wince. Poppy moved to the bed beside her with the remote in her hand, turning on the television to keep herself distracted. When Joel got everything off Negan, she could see that Joel’s eyes were surveying everything closely. “Come into the bathroom with me. I want to get this blood off you and anything I do, it’s going to be easier to clean up in there.”

“Yes sir,” Negan got up slowly and Y/N’s fingers dragged against his when he walked past her with Joel. Watching, Y/N wondered if she should be going with them in attempts to help, but something on the television caught her attention with the news channel that Poppy was watching.

There was a war going on inside of her when she heard agonizing sounds coming from Negan inside of the bathroom which led to Negan and Joel bickering with one another. They probably could have used her in there, but the news report brought up her father’s picture and she reached for the remote to turn the volume up.

Listening to the segment, it focused mainly on her father and how someone was attempting to assassinate him for running for governor. That information pissed her off to hear. They weren’t trying to kill her father, they were trying to kill her. Anyone at that party would have known without a doubt they were aiming for her. Not her father. Her father was long gone before the bullets started being shot. In the segment she was mentioned once saying that multiple reports suggested that she may be missing, but there was nothing more. At this point, she thought there would have been some kind of story about the seven people that came to try to kill her, but there was nothing. Even the news reporters seemed to blow off the harm she was in to worry about her father hoping that the madman was caught. It was her in the real danger, but no one seemed to care.

“Y/N?” Poppy called out seeing her getting up from the bed and moving over toward the door that led to the other room that they had gotten. “Where are you going? Babe?”

“I just need some time to myself,” Y/N admitted going into the room and closing the door behind her. Heading over toward one of the beds, she dropped down at the center of the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

It felt like everything was spinning around her and she cussed out. Her father was probably in some rich, expensive place chowing down on expensive food and being pampered. Yet here she was in the middle of nowhere with the only three people in the world that she felt remotely close to worried if someone was going to find her and kill her along with them. It almost didn’t seem fair that she was going through all of this shit because of her father, but she knew her father was completely fine.

Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of her breathing and it was uneven. Everything about this sucked. Of all the things that would finally get her away from her father, she didn’t think it would be this. Because of her father, both Joel and Negan had to kill people. Her and Negan both ended up shot. It almost didn’t seem fair to have all of this happen.

Looking to the windows, she could see even with the blinds closed that it was night and the streetlamps outside the motel were lighting up the area just outside the motel room. Her whole life she felt trapped and now she really was stuck. Thinking about her father made her picture what his response to this whole thing would be about her. Undoubtedly, he would shame her for being in such a shitty place. This motel was something that he would have snubbed his nose at and when she was younger, she probably would have too. Now that her life was on the line, she realized how fucking sad it was she used to be someone like that.

The sound of the adjoining door opening was heard and she lifted her head up to see that Joel was walking into the room with the med kit that they had. Closing the door behind him, she could see that Joel seemed worried about her as he approached the bed, “You know, you were supposed to wait for me to help you with your arm.”

“Let’s be honest, mine doesn’t compare to Negan’s,” she watched Joel sit down at the bottom of the bed and she frowned.

“We still need to keep it clean because if it gets infected things can go very wrong,” Joel reminded her, reaching out for her hand to help her get up to a seated position. Joel reached for the bottom of her shirt getting her to lift her arms so he could take it off her leaving her in her bra in front of him. “This shirt has blood on it, we’re going to have to get you another one.”

“Yes Mr. Miller,” she uttered in a joking fashion making Joel groan out and roll his eyes. Y/N winced with Joel getting the bandaging off her arm. While Joel worked on her arm, she was quiet thinking about the things that had been happening to her. “Someone really powerful has to be doing this. I don’t understand why they are going after me and not my father.”

“Do they get more powerful than your father?” Joel breathed out focusing intensely on keeping her wound clean and tending to it for her.

“Joel, think about it. I offered Perry anything and everything using my father as a source. He didn’t want it,” she reasoned with Joel, looking to see how he was delicately working on her. “That means the person he was working for already was giving him everything he wanted. Those seven people that were killed. Someone knew that they were there. They would have gone there and found out that they were all dead and we were alive. But there was nothing about it on the news? They could have modeled all of us out to be a group of killers, but we weren’t.”

“Thank God,” Joel piped in making her sigh.

“That’s not my point, someone is sweeping things under the rug,” she played everything out in her head trying to pull things together, but she had nothing. “I don’t get it Joel. If my father was risking someone’s position, what does killing me do for them?”

“Maybe your father pissed off the wrong person and they are going after you for revenge?” Joel’s chocolate brown eyes locked with hers and she sighed loudly. “Look at how stupid I was. Someone could be doing what I did but to the absolute extreme. Your father is known for pissing people off and ruining people’s lives.”

Hearing that really didn’t help, so she stayed quiet while Joel finished up with wrapping her wound up for her, “Thank you.”

“You’re a better patient than Negan,” Joel swiped his thumb across her arm making her smirk and lower her head down. “You don’t wiggle like hell and then get mad at me when something hurts.”

“To be fair, mine is a flesh wound and his is a bit more complicated,” she reasoned with Joel enjoying the closeness of having him near. At least they weren’t fighting and they were being civil with one another. “I guess I should also be thanking you for earlier.”

“With what?” Joel’s eyebrow arched with genuine curiosity because he really didn’t know.

“For stopping me from doing something stupid,” she countered thinking back to their moment on the beach together where she considered running off. “If you weren’t there to get me to think about what I was doing I probably would have left you and the other two in that SUV. I would have taken off and I’d probably be dead.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Joel set the medical kit aside and then turned back to her to reach for her hands. “In fact, you don’t have to thank me for a lot of things. I’ve done nothing but cause you shit and trouble for the last twenty-four plus hours. Hell, maybe for the last two years. What I’ve been doing was wrong. It was your birthday yesterday and you were shot. You found out what I was doing. You watched the person you were closest to be shot. You risked your life for him and well, now we’re here. You were out in the open at your birthday party because I called you out there. I’m sorry.”

There was a silence that fell between them when she felt a lump growing in her throat and she didn’t know how to respond, “I’m also sorry I didn’t come out sooner when I was in the crawl space. I let my own fears get to me and I just let things go on with you and Negan. I should have been a hero like him and I should have done whatever it took to keep all of you safe.”

“But you did save me and you saved Negan,” she reminded Joel reaching up to brush her fingers throughout his dark hair making his eyes raise to hers. “You were brave. So that’s not something to apologize for. I think the two of us are still here because of you. You could have just stayed there and who knows. Negan and I could be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.”

“I promise I won’t let that happen again,” Joel whispered brushing his fingers through her hair when the distance between the two of them closed and she could feel the warmth of his lips over hers. “I won’t allow you to be in that position again. I swear.”

“You shouldn’t be risking your life for mine. You have a daughter Joel,” she chimed in feeling his nose nuzzling in against hers and it took her breath away having him this close to her. “I don’t want anything happening to you or Negan.”

“I do have a daughter at home who does know about you,” Joel acknowledged her statement dragging his thumb out over her bottom lip. With the way his eyes gazed over her lips it made a chill run up and down her spine. “What would she think of me if I let something bad happen to you? It’s not fair that she has a father that would be willing to do anything to keep her safe, but you have your father who is nowhere to be found when it comes to keeping you safe. So I think she would expect me to step up and take care of you. I would never forgive myself if I let something happen to you after everything we’ve been through.”

“I thought we were nothing,” she frowned pulling back enough away from him to stare him over. “You don’t have to pretend that we were something in order to make me feel better.”

“Negan pointed something out to me last night,” Joel informed her stroking his fingers over her shoulder and down her bare arm. His palm settled at the side of her body, caressing his fingers over her exposed flesh. “I let your father play me like a fiddle. I came to your house that night because I wanted to tell you the truth. I wanted to take you somewhere nice for your birthday, but I didn’t want to lie to you anymore. Talking to Sarah about you made me realize that you weren’t just some ploy. But then your father showed up and he got me fired up. I wrongfully erupted on you and I’m sorry. I care about you. I care about you more than I thought I ever would because this wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a jackass plan to fuck with your father, but I care about you. I’m a fool to think otherwise.”

“Joel,” she shuddered feeling his thumb sweeping in over her ribcage causing her to lean in closer to him to where her lips were hovering just over his. It made his eyes close tightly and his breathing was loud as well. “I don’t need you to make me feel better about things…”

“I’m just being honest. It’s something I’ve been really bad at for the last two years,” Joel admitted feeling her sliding in closer to him and he felt her grabbing a hold of the bottom of his shirt. Allowing her to pull the material up his body, Joel heard her drop it at the foot of the bed and he licked his lips. With her palms caressing up and over his chest, Joel looked down and swallowed hard. “I don’t want you to forgive me.”

“I don’t,” she slurred her lips faintly caressing over his making him moan into her mouth. “In fact I don’t forgive you at all.”

“Good,” Joel growled when her nails dug slightly into his flesh with her nibbling faintly at his bottom lip. “I want to make things up to you. Prove my worth in your life instead of having you forgive me immediately. What I did was fucked up.”

“It was,” she agreed with him, claiming his lips in a desperate sweep allowing him to kiss her over and over again. Tugging her fingers through his hair, she yanked back on his hair making him tip his head back. Licking over his lips had Joel panting before her and she shook her head. “You know how I feel about you. It hasn’t changed, but with what you’ve done…”

“I still need to earn it,” Joel hushed her, stroking his thumb over her cheek leaning up to kiss over her jawline while her fingers caressed through his thick hair. With a shallow pant, Joel watched her get up from the bed and he adjusted his positioning having one of his legs hanging over the side. With his eyes hooked on her, she didn’t know if this was the wrong move or not but it’s what she wanted. Using her arms, she winced when she reached behind her to unhook her bra allowing the material to fall from her body making Joel’s brown eyes gaze wantonly over her body. Hooking her fingers into her pants she pushed them down along with her panties. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” she assured him crawling in over him lowering her hands down to pull apart his pants making Joel huff out. Lifting his hips up, Joel helped her get the material down his body before she settled in over him. With ease, his mouth covered her breast caressing over her flesh with the warmth of his wet kisses. Joel’s tongue circled her nipple having her whimpering out. Pulling back with a wet sound his right arm hooked around her waist to pull her closer to him while her right arm hooked around his shoulders and her left hand braced her weight on the bed. Moaning in unison, she felt Joel entering her and his groan vibrated against her lips. It sent chills throughout her body and she was loving the close contact of the two of them together. Rolling her hips over Joel’s had him meeting her movements, thrusting up toward her time and time again. “Joel.”

Joel’s left hand was settled at the small of her back while his right was palming in over her bottom helping her with her movements over his cock. Usually they attempted to be quiet with one another when they were having sex, but this time they weren’t hiding anything. The position had Joel’s throbbing length plunging deeply within her and she was crying out his name. It was the first time in a long time where it felt like their bodies were working together in unison and it made her feel like her whole body was on fire.

Joel’s mouth kissed down over the side of her neck toward her chest while their movements grew in strength and speed with his palms bracing over her back caressing over her flesh in supportive motions. Bringing his mouth back to hers, Y/N was eager to have him kissing her knowing this was the most passionate moment they had shared together and her body was loving what this was doing for her. After all her pain and suffering, it felt good to be doing something that just got her mind off that fear, anguish and stress.

Gasping out, she felt Joel lowering her down so that her back was pressed against the bed and her fingers caressed down over the small of his back to squeeze at his bottom while it flexed with his thrusts upward toward her.

“You mean so much to me,” Joel growled against her flesh making her fingers curl around the back of his neck and stroke over it. Hearing him say that took her breath away as it was something that he hadn’t done for almost two years. While the timing may have been off this was something that she wanted for a long time and she was just happy to hear it in a time like this.

----

Shifting uncomfortable in the bed that she was sitting on, Poppy gazed over at Negan seeing that he was sitting up in the other bed that was in the room. Joel had helped put a black tank top on him and put him in a sling before going to help Y/N. Hearing the sounds that was coming from the other room, Poppy couldn’t help but feel awkward seeing the expression that was over Negan’s features.

“I am so sorry,” Poppy muttered watching Negan’s Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when he gazed over at her and shook his head before dropping his head down. The walls were not thick here and that meant that they were hearing everything that was happening in the other room leaving both Poppy and Negan in an uneasy moment between the two of them. “I know how you feel about her and…”

“It’s fine,” Negan held his free hand up in the air and Poppy could see that it wasn’t okay. Negan was upset, but he was trying to hide it. He just wasn’t doing it well. “I know how she feels about Joel and if they are making up with her being happy that’s all that matters to me.”

“Are you sure?” Poppy knew the answer to that but she just didn’t know how to help Negan in the long run since there was no hiding what was happening. “Can I do something for you? I packed some alcohol when we left the house.”

“I can’t drink, I’m on some pain medication,” Negan reminded Poppy watching her pull her legs over the side of the bed and Negan just slowly slid down in the bed to lay on top of it. “I’m fine. Seriously. Don’t worry.”

“I’ve been on pain meds and alcohol before. It just intensifies the feeling of things,” Poppy almost seemed like she was trying to convince Negan to still drink even though he just took the pain medicine. “It will help ease the pain.”

“Poppy, I’m good,” Negan assured her with a shake of his head, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he bobbed his head about. “Don’t worry about it. She’s been with Joel for two years. I can’t be upset by something like that.”

“I’ll have sex with you,” Poppy offered making Negan choke, his face twisting with confusion when she was so blunt like that. “I mean, it’s not that bad. She’s getting to have sex with him, I can come over there and you can just lay back…”

“Poppy, I hope I don’t offend you, but no thank you,” Negan turned her down, his hazel eyes shocked with her even suggesting that. “You’re…you’re a very beautiful girl. And I would be lucky to have that opportunity, but I’m not really interested in something like that. I hope you understand.”

“I’ll give you a hand job?” she followed up with making Negan feel even more uncomfortable with her throwing these things out there like that. “It could make you feel better.”

“I don’t think with the medicine I’ll be able to get a hard on,” Negan lied coming up with the first thing he could think of seeing the way that Poppy nodded her head. Getting up from the bed, Negan could hear the sounds from the other room intensifying and he grunted out. “I’m actually going to walk outside and get some air. Take like ten minutes and hopefully everything calms down by then.”

“You want me to come out with you just in case? You could pass out and…” Poppy watched Negan move for the door to leave and he held his hands up in the air to make her sit back down on the bed. “I just don’t want something happening to you.”

“If I don’t come back in ten minutes, just come looking for me, but I promise you I will be right outside the door,” Negan swiftly moved out of the room, closing the door shut behind him and letting out an overwhelmed sigh. Closing his eyes tightly, he didn’t understand why it was upsetting him so much hearing Joel and Y/N having sex. They were together long before this. It wasn’t his place to have these kind of feelings and emotions. Y/N wasn’t his to feel for. It was something he was just going to have to coach himself on focusing on because it was none of his business and he just needed to let things go.

----

“Joel,” Y/N whimpered out from where she was on her hands and knees before Joel at the center of the bed. Joel’s left hand was grasping tightly to her hip while his right was hooked around her shoulders helping to bring her back against him with every swift, forward thrust he was making inside of her. Cries were falling from her parted lips when she tried to keep herself balanced on her palms. “I think I heard a door. Do you think everyone is okay?”

“They would tell us if they weren’t,” Joel winced, his hips bucking up against her bottom repeatedly leaving smacking sounds filling the room around them. Their movements had the bed shaking with the headboard smacking up against the wall. Sharp breaths were falling from his throat with the warmth that was radiating through him. “Fuck.”

“Joel,” she dropped her head down feeling the depths of his thrusts short, but very powerful while the tip of his cock rubbed up against her g-spot over and over again. Reaching back, she hooked her fingers around his wrist feeling a hot liquid warmth flooding her veins. “God…please…don’t stop.”

Taking her words as encouragement, Joel quickened his movements making each thrust harder. His jaw flexed, his lips parted while his winces filled the air. He was trying not to focus on coming first. He already made her come once, but he wanted her to come again before he did. Everything felt so fucking good that he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it.

Looking down between them, Joel watched his cock filling her time and time again. It made his heart skip a bit and he growled. With her fingers tightened around his wrist and the way her thighs started shaking he could tell that she was right on the verge of her orgasm. Keeping up with the pace, he hissed out when he heard her broken cries start to fill the air.

Sliding his hand up from her hip to around her waist, Joel pulled her up from her hands just onto her knees so he could nuzzle his nose against the side of her neck. With the contractions from her orgasm surrounding his cock, he could feel his body tensing up. Cupping her breast in his hand and squeezing it firmly he bit at her jaw and heard her crying out his name.

Sharp thrusts followed when he moaned out against her flesh. Sliding his palm down her abdomen, her fingers hooked with his and squeezed them tightly while he bucked up against her feeling his orgasm hitting him hard. With sharp, powerful, very slowed down thrusts Joel continued while he spilled his release out inside of her.

“Y/N,” he growled her name out in her ear, kissing down over her jawline before nipping faintly at the flesh again. With her fingers holding onto his, Joel kept her back firmly against his chest while his thrusts started to die down. “I can’t not have you in my life.”

“I love you,” she whispered closing her eyes tightly when Joel’s warm breath panted against the side of her neck. With uneven breaths, she felt her chest ache when Joel didn’t say it in response. His free palm caressed over the lengths of her body while they both took their time coming down from their highs. “I think that was my favorite one thus far.”

With a chuckle, Joel kissed down over the side of her neck before moaning out when he pulled his length from her body. Closing her eyes, she felt Joel placing delicate kisses over her shoulders before kissing down over her spine making her coo out. Urging her to lay down on her side, Joel laid behind her and wrapped his arm tightly around her waist to pull her flush back against him. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the way his fingers hooked with hers again while he held onto her. Being this close to him felt incredible and right now she felt closer to him than she ever had.

Joel kissed over the back of her neck and she closed her eyes tightly. It was a while that they were together when she felt the warmth of his breath against her flesh. Caressing her thumb over Joel’s hand, she sucked at her bottom lip and thought of everything going on in her mind.

“What would you say if I told you I wanted to spend forever with you?” she questioned feeling her heart speaking for her in the moment. “Maybe if we make it through this I can get away from my father. Change my name. I can meet your family. One day maybe get married and have children of our own so Sarah can have a sibling?”

Silence followed and she was surprised she got nothing in response. Looking over her shoulder she saw that Joel was deep in sleep obviously comfortable for the first time in a few days making her sigh. Cuddling back further into Joel, she frowned and closed her eyes. Maybe it was for the best that Joel was sleeping. But for the first time in two days she also felt comfortable enough to finally get some sleep. Being wrapped up in Joel’s arms was everything she wanted and it felt like this was a promising look to their potential future together.

----

Tags: @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @tone-stark @wonwoosthetic @misskittydenoire @casangel1986 @pedritosdarling

#Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller #The Last of Us #The Walking Dead #negan x reader #joel miller x reader #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction

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foxymoxynoona · 2 years

Note

"Can I interest you in some cookies?" with a loving husband and father of two, Min Yoongi. please and thank you Foxy😌

Characters: Dad Yoongi x Reader Words: 4963 CW: references to sex, some swearing, otherwise just fluff

[Sugie]: need anything from store on my way home?

[Y/N]: onion diapers sz 4 wipes (NO scent!) kid toothpaste stwbry cucumber cheese sticks

[Y/N]: bananas bandaids rice blueberries if on sale

[Y/N]: apple juice for kids

[Y/N]: 8*stwbry flavor toothpaste

Yoongi reads between the lines of your disorganized list, no doubt dashed together as you whirl through the house to see what’s low or missing. You’re thinking about what to cook for dinner and seeing no onion. Size 4 diapers means Joo, who’s been leaking through the legs of her old kind since she started walking, a little on the late side but she’s really a power house now, especially when she runs headfirst into immovable objects; maybe she’s out of diapers or maybe you’ve had a day of cleaning the leaks and have made the call the toss the remaining ones. He’ll get the ‘active baby’ kind that Jungkook says work well because if it works for a kid of Jungkook’s it must work for Joo. The toothpaste will be for Kija and he disagrees they’re completely out because he’s still able to squeeze a little tiny bit but fine, he’ll give you this victory and go ahead and buy a new tube; maybe you’re hoping he’ll forget the argument that had seemed so important for some reason when you sent him the list the other day. He’s a little offended you don’t expect he’ll know the toothpaste has to be strawberry, not mint, but he’s learned his lesson that Kija will scream and cry and scrape at his mouth like it’s on fire. Three tubes of mint kids toothpaste wait in the cabinet for him to grow out of that someday.

Most of the food items are obvious but the bandaids could mean someone got hurt or that someone got into the box unsupervised. Kija is big on bandaids suddenly after two years of shrieking if you even tried to put one on and now suddenly every imagined bump needs a bandaid.

But the rice…

[Sugie]: rice? I just bought some its in the bottom of the pantry

[Y/N]: bad storage place, got dump out all over kitchen

He sighs.

Your typos gives him the image of you chasing children and dog through the house, texting distractedly while trying to get them corralled safely so you can make their early dinner. In the old days you texted as articulately as you spoke. He’ll cook something better for the two of you, he decides, and remembers to tell you that so you don’t just heat up extra dumplings for yourself too.

[Sugie]: i’ll cook so stay hungry

[Y/N]: k

Definitely busy.

He makes quick work of the shopping trip, double checking he has everything on your list even though he had expected you’d only have one or two things for him because he was at the store two days ago. They don’t have strawberry kids toothpaste but hopefully watermelon will do –the bubblegum flavor he almost grabs has sparkles in it and Kija will decide that means it’s “spicy.” Yoongi is proud of himself for predicting this.

But now that he’s thinking about it, he feels bad about such a stupid argument about the toothpaste. Did it matter if you threw the tube away while there was still a squeeze or two left? You weren’t that cash-strapped right now. He didn’t know why he’d felt so strongly about his way being right. What a waste of energy, fighting with you over something stupid, when energy was already hard to come by.

So he grabs a box of cookies too, for you, the maple flavor ones that aren’t usually available outside of this time of year and sell out fast. They aren’t anything expensive, and definitely not as good as what you could bake on your own. But with two small children at home, him working full time and you still working part time as a compromise for juggling your careers and family, sometimes you have to take the shortcut to a treat. Boxed cookies instead of homemade. At least it was something.

The house is in chaos by the time Yoongi gets home and your stress level isn’t helping it. Knowing he was out busy but childless all day, you had hoped to have the kids settled, obedient, and clean when he walks through the door, to show what a good grip you have on things. He doesn’t expect it, but still you feel the need to prove that you can handle the kids all day just fine on your own and have it look tidy and have dinner on the table. The woman who does it all! After all, you’re the one who wanted to have the first kid. After all, you’re the one who suggested a second even though you had agreed on only one. Kija was too easy of a baby. He tricked you. And yes Yoongi had agreed, but when things didn’t go well, sometimes you felt like you’d tricked him too.

It is not a perfectly ordered and quiet household Yoongi walks into. You’ve made an appropriate snack for the kids to eat while waiting for Yoongi to get home with the ingredients for you to make the rest of dinner (or hopefully he will take over that part), but Joo choked on a piece of cracker and threw up a little, which scared you; Kija took advantage of your distraction to climb onto the back of the couch and throw his food onto the floor for Holy to gobble up; because Holy is there, you aren’t prepared for the puddle of pee in the hallway, which you step in as you’re dragging Joo to the nursery to clean up. When you yell at the unexpected warm puddle and jump to the side, you hit your shoulder on a picture frame, which crashes to the floor and shatters, making Joo cry. Kija and Holy come running to see what happened and you shriek at them to stay so they don’t walk through the glass, and Kija starts wailing at being shouted at.

This is what Yoongi walks into. You are on the verge of tears. One look at your husband’s surprised face is enough to nearly pitch you over the edge into your own meltdown. His lifted eyes feel like a lecture –but you should know better. He won’t lecture about something like this. Instead he scoops up Kija and takes Holy by the collar, guiding his dog son to the crate and his human son back to the TV. He returns a moment later with the broom, and you feel confident in picking your clear path the rest of the way to the nursery.

By the time you come back, Joo is clean and Yoongi is on his hands and knees cleaning up the dog pee and any small shards of glass. You suspect he’ll be out here again later tonight for one more wipe of the floor just to make sure there’s no glass left. You haven’t even said hello yet but you’re embarrassed he had to walk in and go right to problem-solving.

When he looks up at you, you start to apologize, “I’m sorry that–”

“Your leg is bleeding,” he points out. You hadn’t even noticed. The corner of the frame must have cut you on the way down.

So you settle Joo on the couch with Kija and go to clean yourself up this time. You finish around the same time Yoongi is bagging up the last of the dirty paper towels.

“Sorry about–” you start again, but this time he interrupts you with narrowed eyes, realizing, “Kids are too quiet.”

The two of you share a look and step quickly to the living room where bright flashy cartoons are lighting up an empty room. A toddler’s laugh is followed by the urgent hush of a child. And Holy is no longer in his crate.

“Kija,” Yoongi murmurs as you both follow the sound of nails scrabbling excitedly against tile –Holy, but that good pup never operates alone. You both dart to the kitchen to just stare in awe for a moment at the scene of chaos.

The grocery bags Yoongi set onto the counter have been upended. Holy has turned from the onions but the cucumbers are being shredded before your eyes. Joo has a fistfull as well that has no doubt gone through Holy’s mouth prior, but her other hand delicately holds a single cookie, still intact despite the fountain of crumbs around her.

Kija is the cause of the waterfall, of course. He’s perched innocently on the counter, feet dangling, a box of cookies you weren’t even aware was on its way into the house ripped open like a fucking bear got to it and the cookies are mangled, pieces strewn across the counter, across Kija’s lap, and cascading down to Joo.

“Holy likes cookies,” Kija informs you and Yoongi with a crumby smile. You dart forward to knock the dog-masticated cucumber from Joo’s hand but it means she takes another bite of cookie before you can wrestle that from her too. The tantrum is instant as you pull her up, kicking and screaming, the whole bit because she’s clearly hoping her appa will insist you give the cookie back to her.

“You got into the bags,” Yoongi says, voice serious but steady. He scoops Kija off the counter, sending the cookies falling from his lap. Holy goes wild at the sound of more falling food and you’re the one to grab him, dragging him straight backwards as he scrabbles to try and stay. By the time he’s back in his crate, Yoongi has Kija and Joo both on the counter, feet in the sink as he rinses their toes and hands off.

Only then do you recognize the smell of the maple cookies you enjoy so much; it’s almost enough to tip you truly into tears to realize Yoongi brought home your favorite cookies and not only did you not have a clean, orderly house for him to enter but now the cookies have been destroyed while he was cleaning up another mess that happened on your watch.

He’s mumbling to the kids and shaking his head; when you come over to offer to take over, he has a smile for you and finally a greeting,

“Seems like it’s been a crazy day, huh?”

“Yes,” is all you can manage as you collapse briefly against his arm, just for the comfort his his solid body. His energy immediately resets you.

Yoongi’s home. The evening will be better now.

He lifts Joo from the sink first, settling her into your arms to hold as he towels off her toes with the dish towel, then he twists Kija.

“Ah, you were a naughty boy not helping your eomma,” he scolds Kija lightly as he works the towel. “If it’s a crazy day, it’s even more important for you to be a big brother.”

“I do help,” Kija defends. “I feed Joo! She is so hungry and I am so hungry too. It is past our dinner! And you’re late! Why did you go away all day today? It’s not the right thing to do.” He points at the digital readout on the fridge magnet to punctuate his reverse lecture, except not only can Kija not tell time, it’s not a clock, it’s an egg timer. The time right now is definitely not 02:17, that’s just how long was left when Yoongi cooked yesterday and decided the meat was ready before the timer went off and paused it so the beeping wouldn’t wake Joo up from an impromptu nap.

But now that he’s given his defense, Kija’s mouth widens out in that line Yoongi knows appears on his own face, and he gives his father a serious look, trying to gauge how in trouble he actually is.

“No one was bad,” you offer. “Just… busy. Today was a busy day.”

“It was a very busy day,” Kija agrees. He sounds like such a little man, sometimes you have to remind yourself that barely-four is still a very little kid. He watches Yoongi another second but then decides he’s not in trouble and launches into, “Eomma took us to the library for story time and it was about robots! I want to be the blue robot and Joo can be the green robot and you can be the white robot and–”

“Why are the kid books and shows all about robots?” Yoongi sighs, even though he knows that’s not totally true.

Kija insists hotly, “There are buses and cars too! And airplanes and–”

“Don’t you like animals?” Yoongi presses. “What about mountains and the sea?”

You can’t stop yourself from snickering under your breath, “Yes I married such a nature-boy…”

“I like natural things! Didn’t I make that table and chairs for us?” He had, the very ones nestled in the corner of the kitchen where the four of you would gather to eat what was looking more and more like a dinner of takeout. With a self-aware smile, Yoongi adds, “I like nature as long as I have my computer and electricity and a fan. Then it’s ok. But robots… I want our children to appreciate the natural beauty in life.”

“I want to play with your phone,” Kija counters, a perfectly timed response, on theme even without him understanding how.

Yoongi gives you a look and laughs at his son as he sets him on the ground, “No. Go sit in silence and be alone with your thoughts.”

“I hate silence! I hate my thoughts!”

Now Yoongi is laughing; he’s never lost patiences when Kija gets mouthy, which he seems to do more now, though the obstinacy started as a toddler. He sounds like you, Yoongi had once insisted when you’d worried, but the truth is he sounds like Yoongi more often than you; you’re convinced he already has a sharp wit and a dry sense of humor, just like his dad. But he does happen to be going through a robot and race car phase, which Yoongi can’t identify with, and Kija does not seem to enjoy music in any particular way despite it being Yoongi’s life’s blood.

But Joo does, soothed nightly by the soft melodies of lullabies her appa has composed for her. She giggles now as he leans in to kiss her toes, only to suddenly scowl and scold in her little chirpy voice,

“No! My toes!”

Abruptly Yoongi stops and mutters playfully, “Already telling her old dad to back off…” A second later though she’s sticking her foot towards him again, trying to tempt him into more tickles expressly so she can tell him off again. She has no problem demanding what she wants, or defending what’s hers, or making it clear when she’s had enough of people and wants some quiet time. As soon as she could crawl, she was trying to break into Yoongi’s studio to get to his keyboard, where she’d jab at a few keys and then call for Appa, her desire for music developing earlier than her ability to verbally communicate it. But Yoongi understood and played for her, improvising melodies around the random keys she’d push. Just like Yoongi understood Kija’s need for praise when he’d make something cool, or more recently, for his dad to be engaged in the things he liked, even if Yoongi didn’t really care about race cars or robots.

You were not surprised to have learned in the last four years that Yoongi is better as a father than you had ever dreamed. Not perfect. Your years of entering parenthood hadn’t been without friction and frustration. But his love for his children is always first and foremost and watching the way he listens to the children rattling off nearly incoherently about their day under his attention now warms you again. And fans the flame of your own feeling of failure.

Suddenly Yoongi stops them with a hand on each child’s head; they are confused and silenced by the odd behavior as Yoongi says to you, “Go sit and relax with them. I’ll make dinner.”

“It’s late. I didn’t even start rice–”

“I bought microwaveable,” he says –not just a compromise, but a reference to an argument you had in fact won, or at least the realities of parenting small children had. Yoongi had sworn to never have a microwave because of the “horrors” they did to food. But that was before the two of you became connoisseurs of meals that had gone cold while you tended to unfortunately timed diaper explosions, or sleepless nights of teething, of not wanting to turn the oven on to reheat the dino nuggets Kija refused at dinner but Yoongi loving himself a little more than just eating them cold like you do.

“I wanted to have it ready when you got home,” you sigh.

He can sense your frustration, though he doesn’t share any of your disappointment. He’s simply moved by understanding; today you were the one with the day busier than expected under the direction of small children. Other days it’s him. His fingers are light on your lower back as he nudges.

“You had the kids by yourself all day,” he shrugs. “It’s enough. Go sit and I’ll get food for everyone. And you will eat more than just cookie crumbs for dinner,” he adds, giving Joo a serious look that only makes the toddler smile. When Yoongi holds the look, eyes slowly narrowing, Joo starts to giggle.

Yoongi, a fire-spitting underground rapper in his younger days with hard lyrics and rivalries with other artists? It’s impossible for his toddler daughter to imagine. She just performs an incredible feat of agility possibly only for toddlers and presses her foot into his mouth even though she’s still on your hip.

“Ah, kids these days…” he grumbles to make you laugh because he sounds like his own dad. You take the life raft he has offered you and go to watch cartoons with the children. They are deliciously quiet.

For better or worse, Yoongi’s arrival does not actually settle the day down, it simply gives you an extra pair of hands and a calmer mind. The kids eat next to nothing but then complain about being hungry. They cry when the TV is turned off to eat together. They cry when Yoongi won’t give them more cookies even though Kija claims they’re his favorite. Bathtime happens, to be left at that, and with obvious proof by the destruction of the bathroom. Joo has an accident before they even get a diaper onto her so technically bathtime happens again. Kija can’t find his special monkey he sleeps with –the one Yoongi brought back from the weeklong trip he took before Kija was old enough to remember and yet racked him with guilt for months– and then finds it in Holy’s crate which leads to a loud standoff between the two and then an emergency trip through the washing machine and dryer’s quick cycle, which delays bedtime but you both know it won’t happen without Raps the monkey anyway. Kija throws a fit about the different flavor of toothpaste, and the kids can’t agree on a story so it’s settled there will be two, and then there’s a fight for Yoongi’s lap until he shifts and shuffles in the rocking chair until they’re both snuggled down.

You, the one who worked so hard to care for the children all day, are left with an empty lap on the ground, but other days these roles are reversed so you try not to be hurt by it. Instead you just admire the way Yoongi reads to the kids, so very different than your own attempts to sound like the characters. He just sounds like himself, his smooth voice gliding around the words as he tells the story of Olivia’s trip to the museum like it’s a conversation. In a way it is: every two pages Kija interrupts him to tell him something totally unrelated –a fact he learned about shrimp in a book at the library, that they saw a dog in a backpack on the train, that there were ants on the sidewalk in the park– and Yoongi’s eyebrow raise and he nods in acknowledgement of this precious fact Kija needed to share, and then he continues to story, his voice steady and slow.

Honestly, it’s putting you to sleep too. Yoongi’s way of speaking has always been soothing to you. It was one of the first things you loved about him, that no matter how worked up you were, however bad your day, he could speak about literally anything and his calming words and rhythm would rock you to a place of peace.

It’s no surprise Joo is almost asleep when he finishes and Kija’s facts have petered out. You carry Joo to her crib and Yoongi tucks Kija into the little boy bed he’s only recently transitioned to; Yoongi and Kija built it together one afternoon from a kit as Yoongi tried to lecture Kija about the importance of building furniture with your own two hands and you tried not to giggle too loudly in the background about how cute your boys are. It took twice as long to build but afterwards Kija announce “Me and Appa are a superteam!” and Yoongi’s smile made clear he didn’t mind the delays.

You trade places, so each child gets a kiss or hair ruffle and whispered I love you from you both, and then meet at the door of the bedroom for one final glance before you shut it.

Except Yoongi has already gone down the hall, calling over his shoulder, “The pork wasn’t very good, I’lll make something else.”

“What? No, the pork was great and I ate enough.”

“Will you eat it if I make something else?”

“No,” you insist, knowing he won’t believe you. He doesn’t. He’s disappointed that he rushed the veggies and left the pork a little too long. It's not the meal he wanted you to have after an obviously tiring day with the kids. But you say again, “I don’t want anything else to eat. I just want…”

“Hm?” He freezes at the kitchen doorway, looking casually back at you as if everything in him doesn’t pause to see what you’ll say. You could say pretty much anything right now and he’d find a way to give it to you as thanks for the day focused on his work, as an apology that he wasn’t here to help, to express his regret that the dinner was not what you deserved.

“Just sit with me and watch a show. Do you have time or are you needing to go right to bed–”

“I have time for you,” he quickly assures you. “Do you want tea? Beer?”

“No, nothing.”

He brings you ice water anyways because he knows you forget to hydrate any when you’re chasing children.

And he brings a plate, holding it out to you, the mangled remains of the maple cookies displayed.

“Can I interest you in some cookies?” he asked.

The laughter bubbles out of you, followed by tears he predicted. He sets the water and plate of cookies on the table –with a stern “No” to Holy whose head lifts curiously from his bed by the TV. Then Yoongi bundles you into his arms, and stretches out into the corner of the couch and lifts the remote, silent and casual in his comfort of your minor breakdown. As soon as the show is selected –the next episode of something you two have been gradually making your way through, slowly since you each tend to fall asleep– he wraps both arms around you.

“Seems like it was a long day,” he says, hand stroking gently down your back. You nod under his chin.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I wanted to make it look easy and have everything nice when you came home after working all day–”

“Cut it with that bullshit,” he snorts. “I know it’s not easy. I just feel bad I was away all day–”

“You shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s good! You deserve to go and it’s for your career… I know you keep passing on things to be at home.”

He shrugs again, voice low as he points out, “So do you.”

“Yeah, well…” It’s true. It’s true for both of you, and maybe, you consider, Yoongi feels that same blend of relief and regret that you do when you leave the house. The same blend you feel when you come home too. “It’s hard to want to be two places at once,” you sigh.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “So we’re doing the best we can, I think.”

You nod. It’s true. The rest of the world makes it look so easy, like as soon as you have children your interests become singular, your patience and energy unlimited, your bond with your partner unshakeable. The last four years have tested all of those things –and yet you don’t regret it, not really, even after a day like today.

“I don’t regret any of this,” he says, as if he’s read your mind. “Except the dinner.”

“I thought it was good.”

“That’s because you’ll eat cold dino-nuggets. Your taste has always been terrible.”

“Yoongi!” you cry, laughter lacing his name on your lips. “I chose you, didn’t I?”

“Proving my point.”

“No, disproving it. You made very good little kids, even if they were little stinkers today.”

“I didn’t make those, you made them. I just gave you some of the materials. Maybe I’ll give you some more materials tonight.”

It earns a giggle against his chest. You both know you’ll fall asleep too quickly to get that far, even if you try to rally right now. You also know the materials won’t be true; a small procedure months ago has made sure that Kija and Joo will be the only two offspring for Min Yoongi. Two felt right to you both. Two felt like the maximum. Sometimes two felt like too much but you pushed through those moments, and once the glass and pee and cookie crumbs were cleaned up, two felt right again.

“What, you don’t think I can?”

“I’m not sure I’ll be awake for it,” you admit.

“Ah, it’s like that, huh? I’ve lost my touch.”

“Your touch is good, my energy meter is just low.”

“Have some cookies, maybe the sugar will help you rally.”

“Why… wait, you really want to? Tonight?”

“I don’t know… you were so busy all day, I won’t bother you…”

“It’s not a bother, I just figured you were working all day…” You’re flattered now by the sudden bashfulness as he refuses to meet your eye when you push up against his chest. How many years have you been together now? And he still gets shy sometimes. You adore him, there’s no need to be shy, but it’s a core part of him and you treasure it, just as much as you melt at the times he is very much not shy about his wants.

So you reach over and grab a handful of cookies from the plate. They crumble in your hand, but still you sit up to eat the remains. It helps that he looks horrified by the crumbs escaping your cupped palm. You can’t stop giggling. He starts laughing too as Holy comes over to inspect this windfall.

“I just wanted to bring you your favorite cookies,” he sighs.

“I just wanted the house to be nice for you,” you point out. “Anyway, I’m still eating the cookies.”

“In crumbs.”

“They still taste good.”

“I’m so glad you have bad taste,” he sighs. You hold out a hand and he opens his mouth but doesn’t seem to expect you’ll actually dump some small pieces into it. Now he’s laughing and you’re both missing the show but you don’t care. He slings his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close.

“I’m so glad I had good taste when it mattered,” you argue, poking his side.

You don’t have to see it to feel his gummy grin as he says, “Come on, I’m not that great–”

“I mean about this flavor of cookies, they’re really good.”

“You brat.”

The giggles are the final balm you needed, and maybe for him too. He seems happy when he drags you back in his arms and he doesn’t have to say it for you to know he’s glad to be home, and glad to be here with you. Even when it’s hard, you’re happy together. Even when your dinners aren’t perfect and your cookies get crumbled. Even when you both are interested at the suggestion of sex but then fail to make it to the end of the episode despite your best intentions.

It’s ok. There will be many more nights. You’re both learning, like how he should have just taken you right to the bedroom instead of watching the episode. But maybe the snuggles on the couch were all you each wanted or needed anyway.

It’s ok. You still feel Yoongi’s love because in the morning he takes the kids and lets you sleep, and pulls the blanket back over you before he leaves the bed, and that really is love. And because of that, tonight you will make sure you have energy.

Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

It’s ok. Waking up to the sound of your husband's low chuckles and the high giggles of your children is worth it all. And unlike that business about the toothpaste, Yoongi couldn’t agree with you more.

#yoongi drabble #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi fluff #yoongi fanfiction #dad yoongi #yoongi ff #bts fanfiction #yoongi fanfic

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ottostore142 · 8 months

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therizino-ao3 · 6 months

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Hermit Horror Week 2023

Day two: Environment

Summary: xB wants to support his friend, but there’s something about his base that feels wrong. He can’t bring himself to leave, no matter how much he knows he should.

Read on ao3

Contains: unreliable narrator, a character being non-consensually drugged (implied + in a magical way), loss of free will (strongly implied), panic attacks, fairy folklore, suffocation mention, weird time shenanigans

“So dude, have you seen my base yet?”

xB looks up from the diamonds he’d been counting, “Hmm? No, I haven’t. You’re doing like, mushrooms or something, right?” So far, his and Hypno’s business has been doing great. They’ve been getting quite a few sales lately, to say nothing of the IOU collection they’re racking up. They’re making bank.

“Yep! Like a mushroom forest, mystical land kinda thing,” Hypno takes the diamonds xB hands him, “You should totally see it! I’ve finished the main mushroom and a bunch of decoration around the place, it looks so cool.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m happy to head over now, if you want?”

They head over there by foot, instead of by elytra. It’s… a little weird, but xB doesn’t mind, he thinks Hypno wants to show off the custom lamps he’s made for the path. It’s quite atmospheric, he’ll admit, with the towering dark oaks letting only small puddles of sunshine hit the ground, and the glowing fungi beckoning them forward. It’s magical.

They seem to walk for ages, wandering down the twisting path. At one point, xB turns around, just to see what’s behind them. There’s nothing. It’s pure black, no sign of the pretty little lamps they just passed. xB swivels back to Hypno, about to voice his concerns, but Hypno starts talking about dye farms and making concrete and xB just kind of forgets about it. It’s not too much of a concern, anyway. The further in they go, the more xB realises how safe it is. Like, initially he was super concerned of a creeper crawling out from the forest, with how dark it was outside the path, but he actually hasn’t seen a single creature other than them. He can’t even hear the birds sing here. Hypno must have done some mad mob-proofing.

Eventually, the trees open out and he looks at Hypno’s hard work and instantly his stomach drops. His mind is screaming at him to get out. He needs to leave. His heart is thundering. His eyes squeeze closed. Then, he feels Hypno’s comforting hand on his shoulder and it’s all okay. He blinks a little and looks up at his friend.

“Is everything alright xB?” he’s frowning.

“Yeah, I’m just- I felt on the verge of a panic attack for a second there but, now it’s all gone,” his face feels a bit wet, is he crying?

“Are you sure? We can go back if you’d like, I don’t want to continue if you’re hurt,” Hypno looks concerned.

“No, no, it’s all fine. It might be like, hay fever from all these mushroom spores,” he says. As he says it, he knows it makes absolutely no sense, but he wants Hypno to stop worrying.

“Alright,” Hypno seems to buy it, his tone becoming more playful, “You know, you can just admit you’re jealous of how cool my base is, xB!”

“I am not jealous, we all know, out of the two of us, I got the cooler base. M’kay?” he smiles, feeling a bit better. They’ve crossed over a barrier of tiny mushrooms in front of the path, seeming to circle around the whole area. Inside, there’s a field of beautiful light green grass, home to all sorts of fungi Hypno’s been cultivating. They’re mainly red and white, with some brown, but they’re in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Throughout the area, there are fairy lights and lanterns and fireflies and they all glow in the darkening dusk sky. When they left Horse Head Farms, it was mid-morning, xB remembers. It’s funny how fast time passes.

Most of the mushrooms seem decorative, but the larger ones have been made into buildings. There are cute little doors carved into the trunks and signs that say things like “Storage” or “Farms”. One particularly thick and pretty mushroom has been decorated a lot, he assumes it must have been Hypno’s starter base.

“I can’t believe you’re living in Smurf village, dude,” xB giggles.

Hypno punches his arm, “This is not a Smurf village! It’s a fairy realm. Get it right, xB.”

xB’s mouth feels dry. He knows that word. Fairy. Right now, he can’t think of what it means. He nods. He looks at the giant mushroom in the centre of the base.

It’s obviously the centrepiece, towering over every other mushroom. It’s incredibly beautiful. Hypno leads them to the front entrance. xB feels sick looking up at the gills of the mushroom. He can almost imagine the microscopic spores floating down, filling their mouths, suffocating them. Spore particles would probably be good to add, the movement would make the build more dynamic. He’ll tell Hypno later. Hypno drags xB into his home. The wooden staircase looks very nice, Hypno’s done a pretty good job on the spiral. They run up it together. The air smells sweet, almost sickly. After a very short tour, they come back outside - Hypno hasn’t finished the interiors yet. He’s surprised he was allowed to leave, he thought Hypno would trap him there forever, not that he’d mind.

Hypno is looking at him, “So what do you think of my base, xB?”

xB thinks. He thinks about the amazing lights and the vibrant colours and the magical aura. He thinks about Hypno, who’s one of his best friends, who has worked so hard on this base, who xB would do anything he asks him to do. That’s weird, he’s able to realise. He likes Hypno but Hypno is also sometimes very annoying, and other times, xB just likes to mess with him. He wouldn’t do everything Hypno wants. He thinks about all the people willingly signing their IOUs. Is xB willingly answering Hypno’s question? Not that he has any choice, he has to answer it regardless. He wonders if Hypno’s human. He always assumed he was, not having any visible non-human traits, but sometimes the signs are more subtle. He’s thinking too hard.

“Hmm, it’s alright,” he says, “My base is still better.”

#i'm sick so sorry if this one is a lil worse than usual #i know the prose is weird anyway lol #xb (under hypno's control): i am still better than you #i had so many ideas of different bases I could do for this one #but I decided Hypno S8 because I never see anyone talk about how he lived in a mushroom base the same season he stole souls #cmon... the potential #hermithorrorweek2023 #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fic #fanfic #xbcrafted #hypnotizd #horse head farms #unreliable narrators #panic attack #brief but I'm tagging it #therizino writes

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wandanatrules · 10 months

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From afar

You lost all hope after you stay in a loveless marriage with your husband, but when a certain redhead moves next door faith is restored.

warnings: very angsty, reader is low key depressed, slight self harm, reader is married to a man, miscarriage, no smut in this one sorry

He wordlessly handed you a bouquet of red roses when he greeted you on his way in from work. you were taken aback at first, not thinking they were for you. Why would Jeremy buy you flowers? He can’t even put his phone down during the dinners you spends hours making him, but he bought you flowers?

you accepted them with a smile, hoping this was the start of a change, maybe some reciprocated effort. you led him to the table and set the dinner plates in front of your respective seats. you sat down and smiled to yourself, looking down at your plate, and anxiously moving it around with your fork. you didn’t know what he was going to say. you hoped it was a suggestion for marriage counseling, so you could go back to feeling how it felt when you first got together.

you heard laughing and your head shot up. It couldn’t be. He had his new headphones on and was watching videos on his phone while obnoxiously chewing the dinner you made him. The flowers didn’t mean a thing. They weren’t a sign that he wanted to go back to being happy or even pay attention to her.

He finished his dinner first and left from the table without saying a word, leaving his dishes there for you to deal with. you finished soon after, or at least as much as you could stomach, your appetite had diminished as soon as you heard his distasteful, booming laughter. you got up and gathered both of your plates, taking them to the sink to be washed.

As you stood there and washed the dishes, you heard commotion coming from outside so you peeked out of the window. There was a storage unit hitched to the back of a pick up truck, in the driveway of the once vacant house. you only now noticed that the for sale sign was covered over with “sold” in all caps. you wondered what kind of new neighbors would inhabit the house. It was a fairly big house, so you expected a family with at least a couple of kids. Maybe another stay at home mother you could befriend to help make your days a little more bearable. The door to the truck opened and out stepped a singular woman. She had dark red hair, it was her natural color, in a long braid. She had on black skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, and a black leather jacket. She was absolutely gorgeous. The mysterious woman walked to the back, opened the storage unit and walked inside. When she came out she was pushing a motorcycle. She shed her jacket and revealed her toned arms sticking out of her homemade tank top.

you got caught up in staring at her new neighbor, and didn’t look away until you saw her lookup from polishing her motorcycle and greeted you with a wink and a smirk. your cheeks flushed and you looked down to see the sink overflowing with dish water. you closed the blinds and got some paper towels to wipe up the resulting mess. When everything was cleaned up, you opened the trash can to throw the towels away, but stopped when you noticed a card in the bin.

you picked it up and opened it. At the top it had the name of a flower company, the same one the flowers were from. The note on the card read, “Thanks for the lunch, Jeremy. I hope you enjoy the roses and I hope to go out with you again. - Samantha.” you dropped the card in anger and threw the wet paper towels on top. you couldn’t believe that these flowers were a gift from his “work-wife” and he just gave them to you, cause he couldn’t be bothered with them. you didn’t know why you expected anything else. After 8 years of marriage and he hasn’t done anything like this, why would he start now?

you felt so stupid, and overwhelmed, and anxious, and lonely, so you went to your safe place. you grabbed a rubber band from the kitchen drawer and let your feet carry you to the room at the end of the hall where you spend most of your time. you opened the door and sat down on the floor next to the dresser. you opened the drawer and pulled out a newborn's onesie, and held it close to you while you let the tears fall.

That is what you always did to feel better. you wanted to be close to your baby in every way possible, before you made a mistake and chose to become physically closer to her. you grabbed the ultrasound picture and held it close to your heart, while repeatedly snapping the rubber band against your wrist. you wanted her so bad, your little Juliet.

you looked around at the room filled with a crib, stuffed animals and a baby changing station. you really needed to give this room a makeover considering she would be almost nine years old now, your big girl. you sighed and thought about what life would be like with your beautiful daughter. you were only pregnant for four months. you deserved to have the experience of motherhood, even if it's all in your imagination.

you have always imagined a life where your husband cared for you and shows you love. you imagine laughter, warmth, busy days, and cuddles. you would do anything just to cuddle and hold your beautiful baby girl. you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a loving hug.

The day it happened your husband hugged you of course, but that was it. He increasingly got more distant and resentful of the woman who couldn’t give him his children. you figured the reason he hasn’t filed for divorce yet was due to him feeling bad about you being infertile and jobless. you loathe the fact that he gets to sit there and look like the hero and a good guy for taking care of you and being the doting husband, helping you through the loss. If only they could see what your life is really like.

The next morning you woke up in your daughter's crib, surrounded by the unused stuffed animals. The last thing you remembered from that night was scrolling on Amazon, looking for nine year old room decor. your husband, if you could even call him that, had already gone to work.

you didn’t know how you would spend the day, knowing that you barely leave the house anymore, you decided that it would be best to go for a walk. you looked out of the window and saw your new neighbor outside working on her motorcycle in the driveway. She had a black tank top, beige carpenter pants and headphones on, while she was surrounded by a bunch of tools scattered everywhere. An idea popped into your head, you would make your hot new neighbor some muffins or something like that, so you could spark up some conversation. If your husband wasn’t going to give you attention you would get it from somewhere, plus it’s not like he wasn’t doing the same thing at work.

After hours spent in the kitchen you had a basket of fresh blueberry muffins ready for your neighbor. you went into your bedroom and changed into something more attractive, so your neighbor could have a great second first impression of you. Once you were ready you fixed your hair in the mirror and made your way outside. you walked next door to your neighbors driveway. She was on the ground working on the bike with her back face towards you. you wanted to speak, to get her attention but you couldn’t so you dropped the basket and ran away, back to your house. The woman felt a presence behind her, so she turned but it was too late, you were already halfway through the front door.

you felt like a failure, you couldn’t even talk to your new neighbor. you slumped on the couch and turned on trashy reality tv, until you inevitably fell asleep. A couple hours later you heard a car horn beep outside of the house, abruptly waking you. you checked your phone to see the time and saw the calendar app, reminding you of dinner with Jeremy’s parents, which you completely forgot about. Thanking God that you were already dressed, you grabbed your purse and headed outside into the passenger seat of his car. He sighed and rolled his eyes as you sat down and quickly zoomed out of the neighborhood. The whole car ride was silent, but that wasn’t unexpected.

When you arrived at Jeremy’s parent’s house, he got out of the car leaving you to unbuckle your seatbelt and follow after him. you arrived at the front door as his parents were opening the door. They pulled him in and were blinded by his “greatness”, spewing praises and compliments. Leaving you outside, forgotten once again. The whole dinner went by this way, nobody uttering a word to you, too distracted by their golden boy. you don’t even know why you agreed to this, only being invited by your husband to uphold their facade of a loving marriage. The loneliness you felt was deafening so you decided to go to your safe place, your imagination. Since being in this relationship, you have mastered fantasizing with your eyes open.

you drowned out the chatter of the parents applauding their son for absolutely no reason, and began to think about your mysterious new neighbor. you just wanted to know what her name was, what her voice sounded like, what she smelled like. you imagined that she would be a great partner. If she was the one that you married, you probably wouldn’t feel so alone all the time, or like a failure. She would probably have a better reaction to the miscarriage, loving and comforting instead of accusing and cold. She would probably put you first. you didn’t know how you were so attached to a woman you’ve never spoken to before, but it was something about those green eyes that just pulled you in. The smile she gave you the first time you saw her through the window. you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been smiled at like that.

you sighed, and then were abruptly pulled from your thoughts, by your husband shaking you and motioning you to come on. you got up and walked to the door, not even bothering to wave goodbye, because they wouldn’t even notice. you sat in the car, waiting for your husband’s parents to stop inflating his ego with false praises. He eventually got in the car and began their drive back home, if you could even call it that.

When you arrived in the driveway, Jeremy exited the car leaving you alone. As you reached for the seatbelt, you caught a glimpse of fiery, red hair out the window. your neighbor was outside in yet another armless shirt, planting some flowers in her garden. you stopped and watched her, needing any source of entertainment. you were mesmerized by her beauty and even felt yourself starting to drool. As you were getting ready to go inside you noticed your other neighbor from the opposite side of your house, Maria, walking over to your crush’s house which piqued her interest. She swayed over with a basket of baked goods, how original. Maria smiled at her and handed her the basket. you could feel your teeth grit and palms terse, if only you cared this much about your husband.

The redhead had apparently said something to make Maria laugh, because she made a whole show of cracking up and gripping her toned arm for support. With a smirk, Maria had pulled her phone out and handed it to the redhead for her to put her number in it. After they did that, Maria gave a seductive smile and walked away with a wave. you could feel the tears starting to fall, you needed to be with your daughter, where you felt safe. you got out of the car and slammed the door behind you, which gained the attention of the redhead. She looked over to see what the noise was and saw you hurrying to the front door with tears in your eyes. She wanted to go over and console you, but figured you weren’t interested, seeing as you were the only one who didn’t welcome her to the neighborhood, so she just turned around and continued gardening.

Meanwhile you were cuddled up in your daughter's bed, surrounded by stuffed animals. you were crying your heart out. you should’ve listened to your parents and not have gotten pregnant and married at such a young age. If only you did, you could still have loving parents who didn’t disown you, relationships outside of this house and outside of your husband, and a second chance at having a family. Even though all of that was out of your control, you could have made at least a bit of improvement in your life if only you had talked to the new neighbor.

#beefy!nat #natasha romanoff angst #himbo nat #fem reader #sad reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff smut #black widow #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x you #natasha romanoff fluff

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omenhasaheadache · 4 months

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Hey, you do bones right? I saw a pretty nice looking deer skull on my walk today and while I like the idea of bones I don't know how to wash or store or move bones. So I had to leave it. If you are aware of how to do bones can I have bone knowledge

Omg I am always happy to share bone knowledge!! And anyone who knows more or if you spot smth I got wrong, please let me know! I mostly just clean little rodent bones and will be speaking only from what I've tested myself.

So to preface this pre cleaning bones get very germy and stinky, so precautions are necessary!! Wear gloves, a mask and clothes you don't mind messing up, Disinfect Thoroughly, and do your cleaning in a well ventilated area!!

So for collecting and moving, make sure everything is safe and ethical and check local laws on what critters you can keep. Most species of deer are typically fine but some species are prohibited from possessing even a feather!! Often times its easier to get already cleaned and ready for display bones, plenty of etsy shops and even educational vendors have them for sale (same with owl pellets, natures mystery box). Collect bones while wearing gloves and be mindful of lose or sharp/fragile parts like teeth or small bones, those like to run away or break. Best to put in a box or bag while moving, for things like deer skulls you may want a trash bag as they're meant to not break easy.

For cleaning bones that are already mostly bare, just greasy/algae covered, you can degrease them with a hydrogen peroxide or diluted dish soap. This is very stinky and you need good ventilation!!!

Fill a container with enough of it to have the bones covered with it, this can be a big hurdle with larger bones and the main reason why I keep with small ones. Soak it for about 24 hours. Peroxide will also help whiten the bones but can also damage them more readily. Just remember never to use bleach because that will severely compromise the structure of the bones.

Make sure bones are dried thoroughly, this can take quite a while. If properly decreased mold and mildew shouldn't be an issue but holding moisture, or being soaked and drying out repeatedly, can compromise the structure. Oftentimes it'll have already had a few cycles of this and sun bleaching too from nature, so minimizing it is important.

For storage, bones are pretty simple. Keep them out of direct sun or excessive moisture to avoid damage, and try avoiding a place they'd fall from. You can dust them gently when needed, I'd recommend a cue tip for smaller skulls, whatever floats your boat and gets the job done, just remember, the smaller/thinner it is, the more fragile.

#tw: bones #bones #nature #vulture culture #corvidcore #bone cleaning

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arcadia-trash · 7 months

Text

The Cat Meat Conspiracy

a fic for me and @nattikay, our trollsonas are anti-cat meat activists. 😂 Based on that one line in the show!

Jacklander Galadrigal stumbled out of his cave home. The culprit, a toy train carved by Blinky a century before, skidded a few feet as he cursed under his breath.

“Are you sure it will take you long?” Gwen followed him out, more mindful of the mess their children caused moments ago. She carried with her a packed basket of warm food. “If you insist, then at least take some supper with you. No use going hungry if there’s a mine collapse to fix.”

Her husband smiled. “Aw, I didn’t think bother you with that. I know you have orders to finish up for Bagdwella.”

“I won’t hear of it!” Gwen playfully chided him. She passed him the basket with a touch of their snouts. “Just promise me you’ll be safe. I’d rather you come home late and alive than early and dead.”

“Of course. And give the whelps a hug from me!”

Off Jack went, supper at hand as his bulky tool box swung behind him. Gwen waved good bye and did not move from her spot until he was out of sight. Her smile grew bigger and she cackled under her breathe. Quickly she returned inside.

“Does that mean no family dinner, Momma?” Lorelei pouted. “I wanna see Uncle Argh again.”

Brenna crossed her arms with a frown. “Uncle Argh!”

“And you will, dearest. I have many orders to fill out tonight, so pack up your meal and walk to Baba’s.”

“We go Baba!” Little Jack announced, jumping up onto his stool at the table. Just as he and his sisters did as they were told and hurried out the door with their own baskets, Gwen rushed to the side room she used for storage.

In it lay several heaps of woven goods ready for delivery the next day. She moved one of the piles and revealed a leather bag. After checking that the stiff boards and markers she gathered form scavengers were still there, Gwen tossed it all out and prepared it for her coming guest.

——

Blinky was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of his nephew’s three whelps, but no less happy about it. They found each other at Kelda’s Woljek Emporium where he was placing an order. Their particular breed was not as sweet in taste as the domestic cat, but their earthy palate was a favorite of many trolls.

“Well of course I would be delighted! Your Uncle Argh is just around the corner, why don’t you catch up with him?”

They squealed and ran off just as Kelda returned with a batch of fur in a greasy paper bag. “It’s been mildewing for weeks now, Argh should love it. I definitely recommend it with Gwen’s stew as a topper.”

“Of course, of course…” Blinky mused to himself as he fussed with his pockets. He then procured a coin and a few gems as payment and took the pack. “That should do!”

“Enjoy!” Kelda waved after him. She then stepped backwards to close up her shop for the day. A few of her personal Woljeks meowed behind the covered sales front.

And as Blinky bounced in step, ready to indulge in fresh homemade food and retelling ancient tales, he suddenly paused.

How on earth did Kelda know that Gwen had packed them stew?

And how would she know Gwen made them dinner tonight at all?

Blinky watched Argh take the whelps towards his library not far off, and took the chance to slip away for some answers.

——

“Ugh, finally!” Kelda said as she took a board piece. “I never thought the orders would end.”

“Just more proof that humane treatment of felines produces the best fur in the realm.” Gwen said happily. “And the easiest to work with. Don’t tell anyone, but I finished my own orders a week ago!”

Kelda swelled with pride and began working on her sign. “Well, these human tools seem straightforward enough. I’ll keep mine to the point: Cats are not food!”

In well-written trollspeak, she wrote just that. “What about you?”

Gwen blushed sheepishly. “Oh I wish I thought of that. Mine is just ‘Be nice.’”

They laughed and continues to talk about the plans for the protest they planned within the hour.

——

The first thing Blinky heard was laughter: both Kelda’s and Gwen’s. That in itself was not an issue — the two were good friends and often spent time together. It was also not unusual that Kelda would close at the end of day, and give company to Gwen as she wove at her loom.

But something was far from clear. Why would Kelda sneak away in the back streets to her friend’s cave?

Pushing away the guilt of eavesdropping over family, he walked in further into the kitchen and heard their voices coming from the storage room. He lifted an ear and pressed against it.

“—and for all cat meat to be gone from Trollmarket’s borders. This will be done after a community vote and demonstration of support.”

Blinky jumped back with a repressed gasp. A plot to rid of cat meat? Demonstration? For trolls, that often meant physical action. He had no idea where those two got the guts to act more forcefully on their beliefs concerning feline protection, but he had to do something quickly.

He zipped out of the cave and ran straight for the Heartstone.

——

There was a crowd alright. They gathered in front of and across from Glug’s pub, and something of a commotion was going on. Glug’s own voice was heard among the denzions; it was hard to make out the words but it was obvious she was arguing with someone.

It threw Blinky into a full on tizzy and he rushed Vendel and Kanjigar further. “We must hurry, the insurrection is underway as we speak!”

Kanjigar and Vendel shared a look, and nodded in agreement. He drew out the sword of Daylight and stride forward, the crowd easily parting in respect to their prized warrior. In the distance, they watched as he walked in, paused, and then dropped his shoulders. The Sword dissipated.

“You two AGAIN?”

Blinky and Vendel followed him, confused, and found the two with signs, slogans of support for cats written on them. A rickety table sat before them with some trolls signing some sort of parchment while others argued that they were disrupting business.

“You can’t be near pub! Against the law!” Glut snapped, trying to stride forward threateningly. Kanjigar held out a hand to block her and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kelda straightened up. “By law we are allowed to speak out minds from across the street. It isn’t our fault that the line to sign is long enough to cross it!”

“Yeah, it cross RIGHT INTO GLUG’S PUB!” Glut roared out, and the shouting began again.

Vendel glared at Blinky. “Insurrection?”

Blinky puffed his cheeks and then tried a smile. “Heh, ah…a simple misunderstanding?”

Vendel rolled his eyes and smacked some trolls away from the mob with his staff. “Alright then, that’s enough! Back to your glug!”

There were mumbles of disappointment but they trailed off as told. A few trolls straggled behind to sign before leaving. Gwen huffed when Blinky walked up.

“Should I be pleased that you think me strong enough to fight against Kanjigar himself, or angry that you think me so low as to attack?”

Blinky again have a sheepish smile. “Is dinner still on then?”

——

Years later…

“Like the conspiracy to rid Trollmarket of all it’s cat meat?” Vendel impatiently snapped back. He was growing tired of Blinky’s assertions of Killahead Bridge and hated every second he spent on the surface world over yet another false alarm. Blinky tried not to lose his composure through his own anger.

“That was a misunderstanding!”

“Given you thought a cat herder and a weaver could battle against Kanjigar, it’s no wonder you filled that boy’s head with flights of fancy.” Vendel finished the argument. “Argh, take me home.”

He did so and they were gone. Jim looked at Blinky and then to the Viking ship, where the Bridge should have been. And then back at Blinky with a whole different question on his mind.

“What was the cat meat thing about?” He asked. Blinky sighed and felt a headache coming on.

#trollhunters #jim lake jr #blinky #trollsona #gwen #kelda #woljek #LOOK UP WOLJEK ON NATTIKAY’S BLOG IT’S THE BEST #fanfic

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