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#etiquette
thatsbelievable · 3 days
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dailymanners · 2 days
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If you live with anyone else, whether it's family, friends, roommates, or a partner, and there is only one bathroom in your home, check in with the people you live with to see if they need to use the bathroom first before you take a shower. This especially goes if you are the type to take longer showers.
Nothing worse than having a bladder so full it feels like it's about to burst, and being just about to get up and use the toilet, only to hear the shower starting up from your roommate (especially if that roommate takes long showers).
This applies to sharing a hotel room with others too, as of course hotel rooms typically only have one bathroom. And although most hotels are also going to have bathrooms in their lobby, it's still a courtesy to check in if anyone you're sharing a hotel room with needs to use the bathroom first to spare them from having to make the unnecessary trip down to the lobby.
If you're someone who takes a really long time to do #2, it's also polite to check with whoever you live with to see if they need to use the bathroom first before you do.
With other things that can take up the bathroom for a long time, such as doing hair or makeup, these are things that are easier for someone to interrupt by politely asking "hey sorry to interrupt you doing your hair but I really have to pee, could you step out for just a second?".
Now, if you really don't want to be interrupted while doing your hair or makeup or other grooming rituals, then you also should offer first if anyone needs to use the bathroom before you begin your hair / makeup / other grooming ritual.
But if you don't offer to whoever you live with if they need to use the bathroom first before you start your hair or makeup or other grooming ritual, you really have no place to get huffy when someone politely asks you to step out for a second so they can pee. Nobody wants a bladder infection just because you're taking hours to get ready.
And the key word here is politely asking them to step out. Unless it's an emergency (such as you are about to vomit or other urgent and messy situations) then always ask politely if someone can just step out for a second while you use the bathroom, and only if it's the only bathroom available so you have no other choice. If it's not an emergency and there are other bathrooms available to use within a reasonable distance, then just go use the other available bathroom.
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yesterdaysprint · 1 year
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Daily News, New York, New York, June 14, 1931
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Etiquette proposal
If you invite someone from another timezone to a teleconference, the onus is on you to present all times in their local timezone, rather than your own - that is, the person asking should bear the labor of timezone conversions, not the person being asked.
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incognitopolls · 2 months
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.`
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inky-duchess · 3 months
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Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: Courting
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This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.
I get asked a lot about courting, what's acceptable or what's off limits and how one may woo a prospective spouse. So let's explore how to win the hand and heart.
Meeting (not so cute?)
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Firstly, it is really difficult to have a meet cute in the Edwardian era. Women and men are kept separate for most of the day, only really getting to meet at designated events: A dinner, a ball, a social event. Meeting in the park is a cute idea but a gentleman can't just approach a lady (or another gentleman) without being introduced by a third party, either a senior party or a mutual friend. However, an introduction at a ball is sort of like Cinderella's get up, it ceases to matter when the ball is over. Your gentleman must not approach a lady after that ball, he must be reintroduced. Once an introduction has been made, he can speak with her.
An Interest
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When an introduction has gone satisfactory, a gentleman must make the first move by calling to her parents'/guardian's home and making a formal request to begin courting. Her parents/guardians must consent, usually leading to a short brief interview of the gentleman's family, his connections, his wealth (though in not so vulgar terms, they may inquire where he lives which is an indicator). The woman's opinion did matter, she could give her reasons for accepting or turning down the offer. When the interest is approved, the gentleman can start offering invitations.
Three's Company
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Of course, just because the parents agree, doesn't mean the couple gets to be alone. The young lady will be accompanied by a chaperone either a lady's maid, a governess, her mother or another female relative. While the couple is together, the chaperone will always be a few steps behind or have them in sight. She's there to ensure that nothing more than a conversation happens. This is not only for her young lady's reputation but also to save the man from any claims of impropriety. The chaperone also serves as a sort of spy, gauging whether this relationship is worth pursuing.
Activities & Tokens
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A gentleman may invite a lady out to lots of different activities. He can invite her for a promenade at a local park or gardens, out the theatre, visit her at home, invite her to galleries, to balls or to be his companion at sporting events such as the races, tennis matches or boat races. When visiting in the house, the gentleman would be expected to speak with all the family, be polite and courteous. This is how the family guages his suitably. The gentleman must provide transportation and funds for any excursion. Gifts are to be refined as well. Expensive gifts are considered vulgar and will likely be turned down. Small gifts such as flowers, books, cakes are acceptable. Gifts aren't as important as the time spent together.
Rules of Engagement
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There are certain unspoken rules surrounding courtship that every gentlemen must follow for a successful courtship:
A gentleman should always pay attention to his lady, and not exclude her or cast her off for others
A gentleman never smokes in front of his lady nor forget to remove his hat.
A gentleman must always offer to refresh his lady on an excursion
A gentleman must defend his lady from any offense be it an insult or a scene unfit for her eyes or within an argument. Throwing in an apology for any offense can add a cherry on top.
However if she's the one giving offense, without any reason, the gentleman must seek to create peace, apologising on her behalf.
When walking, a lady will be placed in the inside of the pavement.
A gentleman should never spend above his means to impress his lady. Staying within his means is not only smart but a show of restraint and a glimpse of what life ought to be if they marry.
A gentleman should always offer his assistance when a lady is exiting a carriage or going up a flight of steps or carrying anything heavy.
If a man accompanies a woman to a ball, he's expected to dance with her on her first and last dances of the evening.
A gentleman must always make his intentions known and not string a lady along with no intention of marriage. He must never joke about his intentions or lead her on.
Marriage
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Courtship usually promises marriage which is why a gentleman or lady should not enter into courtship unless they would consider marriage. Courtship may last a few months or a few weeks and while it is going on, both sides should consider whether marriage would be a viable option of either of them. Parents/guardians would be consulted, the gentleman must make his intentions known to her father or nearest male relative before approaching the lady and popping the question. A courtship that doesn't end in marriage is seen as a failure and may damage the reputation of both parties, leading people to wonder what happened and who is to blame. For example is a perfectly eligible gentleman will not marry a perfectly eligible lady or she turns down his offer, people will usually leap to the conclusion that there is something lacking.
LGBTQIA+ Courting
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Gay people have always been here. They have courted and they have loved. Whilst it was illegal in this time in many parts of the world, love did prevail. (fun fact: lesbianism wasn't illegal because nobody wanted to explain what it was to Queen Victoria). The good thing to know is that courting whilst gay was likely easier in this period. Whilst there were restrictions and rules for straight couples and chaperones haunted their every step, none of this would happen if two people of the same gender stepped out together. Two gentleman going to the opera together or dining at a restaurant or attending a ball together (dancing in public was unlikely) or two ladies promenading in the park or attending a concert would not be examined like a courting couple. They would have more freedom to move around but of course, with legal impediments PDA was kept a minium. Whilst they wouldn't be allowed to marry legally, there was little stopping couples from moving in together. Nobody would say much about two spinsters sharing a home or two bachelors crashing together
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theambitiouswoman · 1 year
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Social Etiquette 101
Do not manifest impatience. Be present in the conversation.
Do not engage in argument.
Do not interrupt someone else while they are speaking.
If you must, gently critique.
Do not talk of your private, personal or family matters.
Do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others.
Do not allow yourself to lose your temper or speak excitedly.
Do not allude to peculiarities of the people present.
Do not introduce topics the people you are with have no general interest in.
Do not speak loudly.
Do not try to force yourself, or be intense, into the confidence of others.
When they give you their confidence, don't betray it.
Keep it light. Do not aspire to be a story teller. Tell short, light stories, appropriate with the current temperature of the rest of the party involved.
Use clear, distinct, gentle and firm words to express your ideas.
Be cool, collected and poised, using respectful and appropriate language.
Always defend the absent person who is being spoken about, as far as truth or justice is concerned. If you have nothing positive to add, leave the conversation.
Allow other people to share.
Don't talk about yourself so much. Your merit will be found in your expression of a subject without having to constantly praise yourself.
Slight mistakes and inaccuracies should be overlooked for the sake harmony and natural flow.
Adapt your conversation to the flow or level of the people you are speaking with. Do not under or over value them. Speaking to them how they understand, will provide more trust and comfort.
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femmefatalevibe · 1 year
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Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Look More Expensive & Elevate Your Aura
Looking expensive or 'rich' is all about investing in yourself, your appearance, how you carry yourself, and not shying away from signature details or indulgences. Here are some tips to level up your look and demeanor to feel high-class in your daily life – no matter how much money you want to spend in these life arenas.
Appearance:
Prioritize Proper Grooming: Always looking clean and put-together is the ultimate sign of class. Shower daily. Brush, and take care of your teeth. Wash your hair on a regular schedule. Never allow your hair to look greasy – brush and blow dry it regularly. Cleanse, exfoliate, and moisturize every inch of your face and body. Perform your skincare routine religiously. Apply sunscreen daily.
Tailor & Steam Your Clothes: Freshly-pressed and well-fitting clothes always look infinitely more expensive – no matter their price point. Looking rich and expensive is about high self-regard and paying attention to the little details. Ensure your garments look crisp and clean – no wrinkles, pet hairs, loose threads, lint pieces, or fabric bulges highlighting an improper fit.
Create A Classic & Streamlined Capsule Wardrobe: Simplicity radiates a chic sophistication. Go back to the basics with timeless pieces – like a button-down blouse, a classic crewneck sweater, black trousers or straight-leg jeans, leather pants, a leather jacket, a trench or wool coat, a well-fitting cami or tee shirt, a simple slip dress, or a knit set. Focus on a neutral color palette – black, champagne, dark grey, chocolate brown, camel, or crisp white shades. Seek out elevated fabrics – such as Pima cotton, cashmere, washable silk, and buttery vegan or recycled leather.
Invest In Signature Pieces: Spend on "outer shell' items – coats, jackets, heavyweight knits, handbags, and shoes – that directly interact with the outside world and can be worn repeatedly with almost every outfit. Save on items like tee shirts or more simple jewelry pieces that can be found for less while still being fairly high-quality. I recommend Everlane, Lilysilk, and Naadam for affordable basics (Frankie Shop, Skims, and Norma Kamali for moderately priced pieces) and Catbird and Oma The Label for well-priced accessories. Here are all the everyday essentials you need to build the ultimate Femme Fatale Wardrobe.
Simplify Your Beauty Routine: Fresh, clear, and glowy skin radiates rich girl energy. A well-curated skincare routine should do half the heavy lifting. However, you will probably want to include a shade-matched foundation, concealer, and powder into your makeup routine along with a bronze contour, a rosy blush, and a subtle highlighter. Shape and fill in your brows for a polished look. Apply a deep black mascara to your lashes and luscious black eyeliner to your top lid, waterline, and tight line – keep the strokes thin and crisp (create a subtle wing if desired). Finish your face with a deep pink nude, red, or deep wine lipstick/gloss/lip tint. Here's a guide to the ultimate Femme Fatale Beauty Routine for a completely elevated (and sensual) look.
Eat Healthfully & Workout: Health is wealth. Taking care of your body shows self-respect – your most priceless asset. So, incorporate whole, plant-based foods into your daily diet and make it a priority to find movement you love that you can incorporate into your routine multiple times a week.
Lifestyle:
Streamline The Details: The rich girl aesthetic is all about refinement and looking put together at all times. Always have a set of matching pens with coordinating notepads on your desk, a uniform set of coffee mugs on the counter, coasters, glassware, sheets, pillowcases, cold-weather accessories, etc. This attention to detail instant makes your environment look more expensive.
Have Personalized Stationery: A high-value woman isn't shy about leaving her signature touch. Have personalized stationery (thank you notes, greeting cards, business cards, etc.) monogrammed and on hand for anytime you need to send a note or gift to a friend, coworker, boss, client, etc. This addition shows your attention to detail, leaves the recipient something small to remember you by, and adds a human touch to any gift or gesture. Try gold lettering on cream cards for an elegant, expensive look.
Keep Prosecco & Sparkling Water On Hand: Bubbly on a budget feels just as expensive as champagne (and tastes great too). Sparkling water elevates your daily H20 – add some lemon, lime, orange wedges, or frozen berries for a fancy, fruity twist.
Have Proper Place Settings: Neat, thoughtful presentation exudes class and rich energy. Whenever hosting any type of sit-down event or cocktail party, have the plates stacked, glasses and cutlery arranged correctly. Have all of the appropriate utensils readily available. Again, it's all about the details.
Stay Informed & Well-Read: A thirst for knowledge, learning and having the ability to engage in thoughtful, informed, and intellectual imbues a high-class radiance into any room. Read books, learn about different cultures and current events, and invest in studying different industries, and interests. Explore your hobbies. A rich mindset translates and generates an overall elevated aura.
Demeanor:
Learn Proper Etiquette: Address people by name, and offer a firm handshake. Maintain eye contact. Say "please" and "thank you." RSVP promptly. Communicate clearly and compassionately.
Maintain Good Posture: Shoulders back and relaxed. Open your chest. Keep your back straight and your head held high. Take up space. Command presence.
Master The Art of Engaging Conversation: Prioritizing self-presentation, learning how to listen, holding your own, and encouraging others to feel relaxed are the secrets to becoming magnetic in any social situation. Read more of my tips HERE.
Embrace An Abundant Mindset: Free your mind of limiting beliefs and notions of scarcity. There are plenty of opportunities, experiences, and emotions to go around. Another person's success doesn't take away from your potential. Focus on expansion, not envy.
Remain Confident & Unbothered: Believe in yourself. Invest in your well-being. Prioritize your goals and block out the noise from anyone trying to tear you down or criticize you for your ambition, goals, or desires. Stay in your own lane. Allow others to do the same. This is how you level up to elevate into your queen energy to create a rich life and design your dream reality.
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thefloralmenace · 2 months
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Two things I wish would become more common social etiquette, especially in the realm of activism are 1) Communicating the minute you know you are or are going to experience an extenuating life circumstance that will affect your ability to work on projects you've committed to, and 2) When you have advanced notice that a life change like that is coming, making an effort to find your replacement on a project you know you will have to leave.
I've just been a part of so many projects where people promise to commit then disappear, and when I finally catch back up with them, they're like "Oh I moved," or "Oh, I was having health issues," or "Oh, my coursework got too heavy." And it's like okay??? Those are valid reasons to no longer be able to help with the project, but why did I have to hunt you down months later to find this out? Presumably you knew stuff like a move was coming up in advance? It would have taken you less than five minutes to write any of that in an email to me instead of just ghosting a project that you said you cared about???
Obviously there are circumstances where that really isn't possible like if you're experiencing such severe anxiety that you can't even open your email account, or you're making a sudden move for a job, but in most cases, it's totally possible, and I think it should be expected that you communicate with the people you've committed to working with when you can no longer carry out your responsibilities.
For example, I stayed on in the lab I worked in as an undergrad as a volunteer while I was searching for my first big job post college. My professor had wanted to hire me, but he didn't get the grant funding to do it. I stayed because I wasn't doing anything else anyway except searching for jobs, and I believed in the importance of the research. Every time I got a new job interview, I told him. Every time I moved forward in the interview process or had an idea of when a new job might start, I told him. When I finally did get the job and had an official start date, I let him know, and I wrote out a full schedule of procedures we were doing so that we could discuss what he might have to take over while I was at work, and what I could help with on my days off/after work. He wasn't going to fill my position after I left, so finding someone new to replace me didn't apply here (though I did offer to recommend some undergrad friends), but I knew a month before I was going to start my new job, and I told him a month before I was going to start that job. I didn't wait until a week out or the day of. I didn't leave him scrambling to make up for my absence, and I just wish that was a more common mindset.
I understand the "fuck the two week notice" attitude when it comes to shitty jobs that don't care about you, but when it's an organization that you volunteered to be a part of it, obviously you cared about it to some degree, and you should act like it? The advanced or as-soon-as-you-know notice of life changes that will affect your ability to participate in things you committed to should be the standard, and then suggesting someone to replace you should be bonus points.
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csuitebitches · 10 months
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Table Etiquette
A crash course on fine dining/ being invited to dinner at someone’s place. Even if you don’t fine dine, I’d recommend you start practicing these habits in any establishment so that they come to you naturally.
Remember : A typical four-course meal consists of a soup, an appetizer, an entrée, and dessert.
If you’re standing at some sort of a networking session/ mixer:
Keep at least one hand free. If you are standing, have only a drink or food in one hand, never both.  Hold a drink in your left hand so that you have a clean hand for a handshake. You can eat and drink while sitting, but it is always better to stand and greet.
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Sitting/ dining out/ invited to dinner:
1. Wait to be seated by the staff/ host.
2. Napkin on your lap the minute you sit down at the table.
3. if you're looking at the menu, make sure to have the bottom, or at least one part of it, still touching the table, even if your impulse is to bring it closer to your face. Don’t lift the menu off the table to your nose.
4. Once you sip from a glass, you must sip from the exact same place on that glass for the rest of the evening.
5. If there’s a breadbasket and butter on your table - don’t dip the bread in the communal butter plate. Take a piece of the butter with your butter knife, put it on the side plate, then spread that butter on your bread. Don’t double dip! Your bread plate is the one on your left, by the way. And your glass will be on your right.
6. If your table has a lot of silverware - start from the outside and work your way in.
7. Dishes should be passed in a counter-clockwise flow. Don’t reach across the table.
8. Lay you fork and knife diagonally across the plate, side by side, pointing at 10:00 and 4:00 on a clock face. This signifies to the wait staff that you have finished.
9. Keep the rim of your plates as clean as possible, as a sign of respect to the staff.
Cultural differences:
1. Whilst eating Indian food/ in India, always eat with your right hand. The left hand should never touch the food. This is also seen in the Arab world - use only the thumb, index finger and middle finger to pick up food.
2. In Korea, one waits for the senior most person in the room to sit and eat, and is followed suit. Sharing is caring - food is often ordered to share with each other rather than individual plates.
3. Chopsticks etiquette (general): don’t stick and leave your chopsticks in your food perpendicular to the table, it signifies death. Don't set your chopsticks down pointed at another person at the table. Don't point your chopsticks at other people around the table.
4. France: bread on the table is meant to accompany the main dish, not as an appetiser.
What are some table manners that one should keep in mind if they’re eating food/ eating with someone of your culture?
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tozettastone · 3 months
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I know it's considered old fashioned now, but the traditional etiquette is actually that if you invite someone to go do an activity with you (like going out for dinner, or to the cinema, or to an exhibition, or whatever) the person who extends the invitation is the person who pays.
The idea is that you offered by implication when you extended the invitation. You're the host. You're picking the itinerary and you need to be prepared to cover it. (Of course, if your companion offers to split the cost with you, that's their own business.)
Obviously there are some circumstances where this may not apply, but those are case-by-case expectations created within specific relationships. Generally, the person who extends the invitation pays for the amusement. The person who is invited is offering their company, which is all that has been asked of them.
I'm not Miss Manners, but I really think this particular item of etiquette has disappeared somehow? And that it ought to make a comeback. Because it's easier to manage your expectations if you know that there actually ARE RULES to this kind of thing.
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dailymanners · 2 hours
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If you see someone pushing a stroller who is trying to get the stroller into a bus or up any other sort of large step, but they're struggling due to the stroller being large and/or heavy, you can help by grabbing the front of the stroller and lifting to assist with them getting the stroller on the bus or up the large step.
Depending on where you live, you might want to ask "is it okay if I help?" first, because some people might be alarmed by a stranger grabbing the stroller containing their small child, depending on the local culture. Although in some places most people are happy to receive help from a stranger, when in doubt ask first.
It's hard being a caretaker to a small child, and strollers can be cumbersome and make what used to be simple tasks, such as boarding a bus, suddenly more difficult and complicated. Helping caretakers of small children in little ways, such as helping them board the bus with their stroller, eases the endless and complicated difficulties that come with caring for a small child. It also creates a stronger sense of community when we look out for each other and help each other in small ways.
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yesterdaysprint · 3 months
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Etiquette Problems in Pictures, Lillian Eichler, 1924
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that-polyamorous-brat · 5 months
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Consent and Ableism
I think it goes without saying that you should not touch strangers without permission on purpose. However, this rule being completely ignored is a common experience among disabled people. Our mobility aids are just as much a part of us as our hair and clothes.
Just as you should not shove people out of your way, you should not shove someone's mobility aid out of your way. This is probably going to end in a bit of a personal rant, but just because I have wheels doesn't mean you should push me. Just because I am disabled doesn't mean you should assume that I won't understand "excuse me." And just because my wheelchair doesn't look like your able legs doesn't mean I can't (gladly!) get out of your way by myself when politely requested. And no, saying "excuse me" while pushing my wheelchair out of your way (unless I've allowed or offered you to do that) is not polite.
Tell all your friends to please remember:
We are disabled, not f-ing shopping carts.
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incognitopolls · 2 months
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Holy places are not accounted for in this poll because that's somewhat of a different conversation.
These are ranked in order from least shoes to most shoes; vote for the first one that applies to you.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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vintage-sweden · 5 months
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Unknown woman, 1950, Sweden.
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