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koimethehorizon · 7 months

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Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End

Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:

Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II

Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.

For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.

The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.

One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.

Bubblegum: What's this?

Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.

*snatches present*

Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.

There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.

But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.

Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.

All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.

Happily ever after

Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.

And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.

Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.

This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.

It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.

And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.

He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.

His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.

Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.

In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.

In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.

And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.

There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.

I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.

However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.

Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.

Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.

Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!

I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.

But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.

Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?

Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-

This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.

Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.

As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.

Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?

Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?

Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!

And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.

He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.

And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.

Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.

This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.

The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.

Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.

I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.

The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.

Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.

But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.

Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!

Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.

In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.

If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.

He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.

It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.

They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.

Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.

Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.

PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.

PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.

#fionna and cake #adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #fionna and cake spoilers #adventure time spoilers #animation #art #hbo max #fionna campbell #theories #character analysis #discussion #petrigrof #golbetty #simon and betty

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aangarchy · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/the-badger-mole/728723354757054464/how-would-you-improve-aangs-writing what are your thoughts??

So i'm not gonna keep reading this post bc it is tagged anti aang, anti kataang and a bunch of other tags i have personally blocked bc i do not like seeing posts that are actively hating on my favorite characters. Idk why you chose to send me something that is anti aang, when i am clearly an aang positive blog. Surely you're just trying to antagonize me.

I did read the first paragraph and let me tell you, boy is that blogger wrong. The question they were asked is how would you change the show's writing.

"In a word...accountability.

Aang, despite his own personal losses, never seems to grasp the gravity of the war. Season 1 would be more or less the same, but season 2 would open with him grappling with his part in the siege of the North. He would acknowledge that he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day, and it would lead into him confronting somethings about his duty, and eventually make him take his powers as the Avatar more seriously."

This is verbatim what happens in the show. The literal first episode of season 2, Aang has nightmares about him in the Avatar State. He hates feeling out of control, he's terrified of what he could do, how much damage he could cause. That's why when general Fong offers to help him master the Avatar State, Aang agrees. Fong also manipulated him, showing him wounded soldiers to tap into his empathy and get him to agree. Aang at this point understands the gravity of the war. He saw it first hand at the North Pole. Even at the seige of the north itself, Aang takes accountability for the state of the world before the battle even starts: "I wasn't there when the fire nation attacked the air temples. I'm gonna make a difference this time." Also: "he would acknowledge he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day" what at the battle of the north pole?? If anyone is responsible for the amount of death in that battle (which we don't have actual numbers of bc this is a kid's show, we know of One official death and that's Yue) it's the Fire Nation. Aang was on the defensive and fused with the Ocean Spirit while in the Avatar State. Why would he have to acknowledge or take accountability for that?

The rest of the post i just scanned over, but it was a whole lot of mumbo jumbo about Aang not deserving Katara, changing the writing so Katara would not reciprocate Aang's feelings (lol) and saying Aang should have to "work" for the Lion Turtle, as in like actively trying to find it i guess instead of it showing up like some sort of jesus?

The problem with the whole lion turtle thing is in Aang's time according to the wiki, lion turtles are supposed to be extinct. The one Aang comes across is the last one. There is no way Aang could have known that this 10.000yr old (probably older) creature was alive and willing to grant him the power of energy bending. The lion turtle came to find Aang by itself. It looked for Aang and lured him onto his back, to take Aang to the place of the final battle, and to give him the spiritual guidance he needed. Again idk how lion turtles work, are they creatures are they spirits, some secret third thing maybe (again, jesus? Idk). But they might be able to feel Aang's unrest about his destiny somehow, since the Avatar is half spirit.

Either way, i personally feel like the lion turtle is less of a deus ex machina than people are making it out to be, since the existence of lion turtles was foreshadowed in book 2, and since Aang did still have to "work" to take Ozai's bending, aka the whole "your own energy needs to be unbendable" which was still nearly Aang's undoing. He still had to fight Ozai mentally in order to overtake him, and that showed the real growth in Aang's character.

The entire post that Anon just linked is basically someone saying "i don't wike it" and changing everything up to make it arguably worse lol. Again, i think the goal was to antagonize me but whatever.

#ask dori #anon #atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #pro aang #aang #avatar aang

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cybernightart · 8 months

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Mildly amusing head cannons featuring Genji, Hanzo and kiriko (with some brief Gency and phariko at the end)

Since in being a ninja you have to be able to go about undetected, be able to blend in with your surroundings, even disguise yourself and be convincing when doing so. So in order to make sure the trio were skilled in this department in between their ninja training and the education the clan was providing they would get sent to acting and drama classes. They would go by fake names so no one was able to pick up on the fact they were shamatic clan members, and this was easier to do then it may seem as none of them were known to the public of even existing. As part of the clans thing was that they would keep all of the members born into the clan within the walls until they were 18, which once they're 18 they can leave on their own, the trio we're giving an exception to this occasionally but only if they were being escorted by a senior member of the clan or sojiro shimada himself, but even then they did not leave the grounds of hanamura, with only kiriko ever going into kanezeka.

And because of these classes the three are really good at acting and just slipping into roles when need be. Which means if it were for the fact Genji was a red-eyed rage powered murder ninja during black watch he would have been the perfect person to go undercover as the waiter instead of Cassidy, as part of their acting was being able to mimic accents which all three of them can do relatively well.

Genji never once mentioned this though, and it was only after kiriko joins OverWatch after Hanzo had already joined as well, and casually mentions how she finds old recordings of genji's performances on one of her old devices and everyone else is so confused at what she means. Kiriko then goes into excited annoying little sibling mode with "OH MY GOD YOU DON'T KNOW GENJI DID THIS?!?!" Ask Genji is slowly starting to panic with that panic rapidly picking up pace the further kiriko gets into explaining, even worse so for Genji because 90% of his performances where musicals or just him singing in general. This revelation is even more shocking to people like Cassidy and Angela who he had told that he was not good at singing, only to come to find the Genji has the voice of an angel or at least had.

Even with the cybernetics he still can sing really well but it's just so different from what he was used to before, that even with his acceptance of his body and improved mental state it still just doesn't fully sit right with him. He likes his voice now ,so it's not even like back in black watch when he only talked when absolutely necessary because he hated hearing his voice, or that he still hates the sound of his own voice, but rather anytime he goes to sing internally(to himself) he still pictures what he used to sound like when he was in his early twenties and not the raspier Metalalicy autotuned version of his voice now. With the only times anyone has heard Genji singing since being when he intentionally sings bad or over does it for comedic effect.

This then of course leads into kiriko playing a bunch of the recordings of genji's performances with the smuggiest look on her face as she stares Genji directly in the eyes the entire time they're playing with a facial expression only describable using >:3 . So in retaliation Genji leaves and comes back with the recordings of kirikos performances, and to continue on the trend of annoying little siblings also hanzos.

While kiriko did a mix of plays from around the world mainly more Western culture with the occasional Japanese one, with one particular picture Genji showed being kiriko in one of those 1950's pink poodle skirts complete with an ascot to match and her hair done up in a hairstyle screaming the 50's. Hanzo did primarily quite traditional Japanese performances, primary kabuki. So in the old photos from these performances, falkirko was wearing a range of different costumes, Hanzo was in full traditional attire, makeup ,masks everything.

And now for some Gency stuff,

Later on as they were going to bed (Genji literally walked into Angela's office and without a word just and just scooped her out of her desk and carried her to the bedrooms. she started off wiggling and kicking to trying to get him to drop her, but since she was so tired from sleeping for far too long she eventually caved and just started snuggling into him as he carried her. Also the ninja strength combined with the additional strength from being a cyborg kind of helped in Genji not letting go like he was unfazed the entire time, except for under his mask he was trying to hide the giggles building up which men under the mask he just had the biggest dorkiest grin but Angela couldn't see that currently) Angela turned to Genji and said how she couldn't sleep because she wasn't tired (a very very blatant lie), and with a smirk on her face asked if Genji could sing her a lullaby to help her sleep, with a sigh and a chuckle Genji agreed. So as they lay in bed cuddled into each other, Angela's head on genji's collarbone area, Genji quietly sang her one of the only lullabies he could remember off the top of his head which was one his father used to somewhat sing to him and Hanzo when they were very little. And between her already incredible exhaustion, the sweet quiet vocals, Genji running is hand through her hair, and the hum in reverberations from within genji's chest/cybernetic throat she passed out almost immediately.

Meanwhile, pharah was trying her absolute hardest to get her hands on that picture of kiriko, using all the compliments in the book and every tactic she could think of, well kirko is trying her best to resist these "torture methods" to get her to give her the picture.

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ibasae · 2 years

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Sprout*Waning Hermitage - Thursday 2

Shu: Huu... So you are saying Kagehira has been behaving strangely. To be honest, I've felt a vague uneasiness around him these days as well.

Izumi: Hah? If you already noticed, why didn't you do something sooner? Why would you allow him to disintegrate into this state?

Shu: Don't get ahead of yourself and start spewing nonsense.

I wasn't allowing his condition to worsen at all. After I've noticed that uneasiness yesterday I've been meaning to check on him as soon as I finish work.

But it took way too long, and it was already midnight when I finished. That's the only reason I didn't visit him right away.

I was on going to be on my way over before I bumped into you.

Izumi: You say that, but---

Hajime: Enough of that. Compared to that, we should be focused on finding the reason Kagehira-senpai is like this and make sure he doesn't get any worse...!

He changed so much... What even happened...?

He was cheerfully practicing a new song a few days ago, and he was normal then~ But...

Shu: Ah, speaking of the new song. He's been consistently showing me his enthusiasm.

yet, despite not getting the gist at all in the beginning, he's been showing drastic improvements these days.

Hajime: Ah, Kagehira-senpai has been practicing independently at night!

He was talking about how hard it was to be in character and was fustrated over "how to become a marionette!" This time, your song is based off past Valkyrie, right?

Shu: Correct. Kagehira's heart has grew since then, and he has almost forgotten how to be a marionette. We've been worried about that these past few days.

Izumi: ...

Hey, this kinda situation... Is it perhaps hypnosis?

Hajime: ...Hypnosis?

Izumi: I've heard it about it from Leo---Something like this happened in the dorm in January.

This situation, could he have placed a hypnosis on himself?

Shu: Huu, self-hypnosis...?

It's no use. We won't figure it out just standing around, let's go ask someone that actually knows hypnosis

Natsume: oho, I sEE. I understand why you and Shu-niisan came to find me nOW.

Shu: To be honest, I'm only half convinced. However, we are also out of options.

Boy, could it be what we are suspecting? Can one even hypnotize themseves?

Natsume: aH, if I were to give a strict yes or nO, Yes.

Hajime: Is it that easy perform hypnosis ?!

Izumi: Even though I was the one that suggested hypnosis, now that it's confirmed, I don't quite believe it...

Natsume: Did you think hypnosis is maGIC? Some may call it "mental suggesTIONS," it's present in our every day liFE.

In appliCATION, sports players "getting in the mOOD" before a big game is hypNOSIS.

At this pOINT, anyone can perform hypnosis to an exTENT.

Hajime: Eh, does that mean I can do it too?

Natsume: yeS, but the difficulty depends on who it is being performed oN.

Izumi: Who it's performed on? What do you mean?

Natsume: Of course tactics and technique are impORTANT. Yet, the narrative that one has to practice thousands of times to get the gist of hypnosis is faLSE.

It's not so much "hypnotizing" but being "hypnotized" that matteRS. Which means the effects of hypnosis will differ greatly based on the perSON.

A kind, empathetic person that's particularly trusting gets hypnotized the eASIEST. The personality of the person being hypnotized is more important the skill of the person doing the hypnotizING.

In sumMARY, as long as you have the correct stEPS, a keyWORD, and a person that's easy to hypnoTIZE, anyone can perform basic hypNOSIS.

Izumi: In other words, Kagehira is so simple-minded, that he thought too much and accidentally hypnotized himself?

Natsume: hM, it's not impOSSIBLE.

Shu: Alright, so much for Hypnosis 101. It doesn't matter who performed the hypnosis.

What then, boy? Can you undo Kagehira's hypnosis or not?

Natsume: hUU~... I'll certainly tRY... But don't get your hopes uP.

Like I said, I don't know the keYWORD, so I don't know what I need to say to undo iT, the process will prove to be very diFFICULT.

Mika: ...

Hajime: Hm~ It doesn't seem to work... Kagehira-senpai is not back to his usual state.

Izumi: Maybe we took the wrong approach? We've spent so much time trying different things.

Natsume: I told yOU, it's better for the doer to undo what he has doNE.

Hajime: Ah... It's already twilight already. We tried so many things already, let's call it a day...

Shu: Hm... there's no other way, we'll just have to try again later.

Natsume: Sorry I can't be of more hELP, Shu-niisAN.

But, hypnosis doesn't have a long-lasting efFECT, maybe it'll automatically undo itself tomORROW.

Izumi: Let's just call it a day.

Either way, we can't leave Kagehira alone like this. Although it's difficult, we'd have to get him back to the dorm. Geez, he'd have to properly thank us after this.

Hajime: Hah... This is way bigger of a deal than we thought it would be...

Izumi: Uwah! Hey, Kagehira, walk properly! If we keep having to support you like this we'd all fall~

Mika: ...

Hajime: Unsurprisingly, senpai had no reaction...

Now senpai is like a real marionette. Even if senpai wanted to be one, he definitely didn't mean this kind of marionette...

Shu: Becoming a marionette---

Shu: (Speaking of which, when I bought that doll at the antiques shop in Paris, didn't the shopkeep say something strange...? I remember he said---)

(You'd get captured if you are too nice to the doll or... something like that.)

#mika kagehira #natsume sakasaki #hajime shino #shu itsuki #izumi sena #enstars #ensemble stars #acanthe #sprout waning hermitage

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wildissylupus · 9 months

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I read your post about Ashe, Kiriko and Lucio being leaders, so I wanted to ask what are the Overwatch trio's (Ana, Jack, Gabriel) biggest flaws as leaders?

It's a bit hard to guess since we only see them in leadership positions near the end of Overwatch when the public has turned against them so I have no idea how they lead people without the pressure of Overwatch's public image looming over them (especially Jack).

With Jack and Gabe it's rather easy since a lot of they're mistakes are either shown or just stated in interactions, but something all three of them have in common is an unhealthy work-life balance. Ana is implied to have neglected Pharah and Sam (he's not blameless and I am going to make a post about that) because of her work with Overwatch, Reyes and Martina seem to have been either in a bad place or divorced, we also don't know much about his kid, which says a lot about his priorities are, and we all know what happened with Jack and Vincent.

Jack

Jack was too easy and too trusting of people he shouldn't have, specifically Gabriel and especially after the Rialto incident. We see Moira address this in one of her interactions with Jack, stating that he never really did look too closely at what Blackwatch, what Reyes, was doing. Allowing Gabe to hire Moira and for the first seeds of Talon to be planted within Overwatch's ranks. In fact the only Blackwatch member we see have any sort of dynamic with Solider 76 that isn't really surface level is Cassidy, which makes sense cause we see Cassidy being on Jack about the shit Blackwatch has been up to. I think we see Jack over-correct this in the present, being overly hostile to people and being adamant about not joining the Recall.

This all being said, I think out of the three of them Jack made the best Strike Commander, he was chosen for a reason afterall. The mistakes he made are actually rather easy to make and when he did get involved with Blackwatch he made the right decisions, an example I can think of is that he's implied to not only allowed Cassidy to join Blackwatch, but participate in Overwatch missions too. The mistakes he made were just made worse by the fact he had a whole organisation working against him.

Gabriel

Now let's talk about Reyes, let's start with the fact that it's implied that he participated in some police brutality before the SEP program. He's stated to have been "hard on crime" while he was with the LAPD, which is a very specific phrasing and in context of Reyes it can only mean one thing. Him being brutal and ruthless as a leader was good in the Crisis cause that's what they needed, but it's also why Command changed to Morrison in the time when the world was at peace.

This is a big factor in how he failed as a leader in Blackwatch. I think where he fails most egregiously is in the treatment he shows others. I have talked in length about how toxic of an environment Blackwatch was and Reyes didn't help, there's a reason Genji and Cassidy show immense amount of guilt and regret about the stuff they did in Blackwatch. There's a reason Genji's mental health didn't seemingly improve until he moved to an Overwatch Strike Team. There's a reason why it's specified that Cassidy only took bounties for causes he believed in. There's a reason why the only Blackwatch agent Genji is implied to still talk to in Storm Rising is Cassidy.

Not only was Blackwatch an unhealthy work environment but he took risks that put both Strike teams and innocent lives in danger. I've also talked about this but you may be able to call Cassidy reckless and impulsive but he never put anyone other then himself at risk. We see the kinds of risks Cassidy takes in both Reunion and New Blood, all of which are to help another person and all of which only put himself and his opponent at risk.

There is also the fact that he hired Moira, even though his second in command and the head of the medical department, very much disagreed with that choice. Moira was a secret hire, Reyes new hiring her wasn't going to be approved, and with good reason!

Ana

Ana is harder to pin down since she was in as a high ranking position as Jack and Gabe. She was a Captain, a second in command, but I do think a big part of the flaws of her leadership, and something she still does today but to a lesser extent, is not listening to the wishes of others. Angela not wanting her tech to be used as a weapon, Pharah wanting to join Overwatch, allowing Reyes to do the shit he did either for the same reason Jack did or just straight up ignorance and inaction.

Ana admits her faults in New Blood when talking to Cassidy, she doesn't exactly say what she did wrong, how she failed, in the ways that we see with Reyes and Jack. She says it in a general way that implies the mistakes they made were the same mistakes as hers. Also re-reading New Blood, Ana seemed to have been just as ruthless as Reyes with Cassidy stating "Never knew you to leave an enemy alive".

Ana is often stated as the person who should have gotten the position of Strike Commander but I think that if that was the case things would have turned out worse for her and Pharah specifically. With Reyes's family we at the very least know Martina was, and still is, a posotive presence in they're kids life. Meanwhile with Sam we know that isn't the case, his and Pharah's relationship is described as "complicated" and with him being a public servant I think he made the same mistake with raising Pharah as Ana did. Now with that, think how much worse this dynamic would be if Ana had the pressure and the responsibility of Strike Commander. It would not end well.

#ana overwatch #ana amari #jack morrison #solider 76 #gabriel reyes #ow reaper #overwatch reaper #reaper #overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis

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violetlunette · 2 years

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I'm telling you I tried to force myself to like LoV because everyone acted like they are so deep and complex and big brain. So I just felt stupid because I've always seen them as kinda bland crazies that excuse their actions with "hero society is at fault uwah" thing. But with time I realized that maybe I was right actually. All of the explanations to why LoV are deep and complex that I've read were mostly filled with made up shit from the authors. And stuff like LoV being bad guys that deserve to get beaten up and put in jail is hard for fandom to understand. But tbh it's also Hori's fault. He tries to make some cOmPlEx gRaY conflict but he fails. Because as I said LoV are bad people. They don't deserve any saving or forgiveness or help. They are bland bad guys and that's okay for shounen. The problem is how fandom makes them seem like something they are not. They are not deep, complex, morally gray sad uwu babies. They are just not. And it's a problem also how they are seen as one of the best shounen villains and their arc too. So yeah they suck and fandom has to stop lying to themselves

Warnings:

*LoV critical and hate

*Touches on abuse and mental illness neglect

*Long post

*All opinion based

Personally, I knew right away I wasn’t going to like the LoV right away. Shiggy didn’t have a good first impression and I thought for sure he was just a first boss type. Wish he was. His first appearance was boring as he did almost nothing (the nomu was the main threat) and his design was—meh? I thought he was going to be able to use his hands to fight but in the end, all he did was hurt Aizawa’s shoulder. That’s it. Then when All Might appeared, he started spouting how heroes were no different from villains and blah, blah. And I was like; “Dude. You attacked school children with an intent to kill. You don’t have a leg to stand on.”

He didn’t improve as time went on either. At the end of the day, he was an annoying brat and still is. Worse than that, as a villain, he’s boring. All the woobie scenes in the world won’t change that.

You’re right that Hori doesn’t seem to write gray villains very well, and you can see that in his previous works. (But I’ll get into that later.)

Everything about to say is strictly opinion and guesswork, so keep in mind that everything below may be wrong and I could very well be talking out of my ass.

There are three main reasons why I believe people are sympathetic towards the LoV;

First off, there’s a good portion of fans—mainly younger ones—who take what stories say at face value. So if the manga says (example), they’ll accept it even if there is no evidence for this shown, and has scenes conflicting with the statement.

Second, the stuff that is said happens to the lov are things that happen every day in real life; racism, abuse, neglect of mental health, a criminal record gotten at the fault of someone else, and etc. Therefore, when the author states it in the manga not only are they more willing to believe it, because that’s how the real world works. However, BNHA is not the real world, it’s a fantasy world. True, it’s a bit of an offshoot of our world but at its core, it’s a fantasy.

We have not seen a hint of racism in the BNHA world aside from an insulting comment Shinsou makes as of now. Even in side materials, all that’s shown is that the world hasn’t adapted buildings and stuff, which is fair as quirks are only five generations old and it’s only since the fourth generation that quirks have become the norm.

The manga uses Himiko’s quirk impulse as a stand-in for mental neglect, but in the manga, it’s stated that it’s not a common thing as most kids in school get quirk therapy and training in elementary school. Himiko’s issues developed because her parents were so spooked by her quirk that they ordered her to suppress it. It’s likely that kept her homeschooled till they felt Himiko could hide her quirk well enough. Had her parents gotten over themselves and sent her to quirk therapy, she would be fine. Himiko’s issues are not the fault of the hero society, but of her parents. I suppose that a case could be made that they refused to get her help because they were worried she’d be seen as a villain, and the manga likes to SAY that there’s quirk discrimination, but not only is that never shown, but we’ve seen that other heroes who have scarier quirks are accepted rather easily.

As for Twice, an accident indeed got him a record he didn’t deserve and was betrayed by someone he trusted at the sensitive age of sixteen and we do see that. However, as soon as he was tossed out, we never see Jin try again, nor do we see that he couldn’t get another job because of his record. Instead, we see the police being as understanding as they could and assuring him he could turn his life around. Then, instead of even making an attempt, Jin jumped straight into committing crimes, making things worse for himself. So, Jin’s life wasn’t ruined because of hero society, but because two men were assholes and because Jin gave up.

Dabe’s the only one with a leg to stand on as it was his father’s obsession with beating All Might that led to Dabe’s abuse and mentally falling apart. But again, Dabe’s issues were because Endeavor was overly competitive, not because of hero society.

Shiggy’s issues happened because his dad was an abusive fuck while the rest of his family decided to sit in ignorance, despite the fact it was happening in front of them. Then afterward, the issue was a depressing case of back-stander syndrome. No, unlike the other members of the league, this one has a leg to stand on. This was built up from chapter one where we see people standing around, doing nothing, even as a teenager literally being suffocated to death before them and watching the scene like a show. Civilians have been taught to be so overly dependent on heroes that they don’t do anything to defend themselves or protect others, despite having their own unique powers to do so. Shiggy’s fate might have been avoided if someone made the effort to call the police or a hero, then sit with the boy to arrive. Even then, this is a result of Heroes doing their jobs too well, not from doing anything wrong. And even if Shiggy was found by a hero, from what we know of AFO, he would have gotten Shiggy anyway. The core of Shiggy’s issues comes from AFO’s brainwashing and possession, so the reason Shiggy’s life is in hell is because of the villains, not the heroes.

Oh, and Compress? Show me a scene where he wanted to expose the darkness of heroes. I can’t recall one, so readers are left with the view he’s just a bored guy, so joined a villain club.

Third, the heroes represent the system and the norm, which people hate. Because of real-world events, people tend to hate government organizations and police in fiction. Even if the narratives show that overall the organization is good and does its best to protect people, most audiences won’t accept that. They don’t want protagonists that fight for the status quo, they want a protagonist who rebels against it. Plus, the LoV is made of people that are marginalized in our world, so it’s easier to sympathize with them.

Anywho, that’s my thoughts. I have no evidence for this, so I could be wrong. If it helps, I’ve spoken to some LoV fans and while they like the characters a good portion seems to agree that they’ve crossed the line morally and that the manga isn’t good at showing their plights.

Right now everyone is riding the excitement of the manga as it's at its height. Once it ends and they get time to settle everyone will be able to look at the story and characters with some critical thinking. Even I may change my mind on things.

#I hope this doesn't come off as insulting to LoV fans #I hate the villains not their fans #I'm just trying to explain how the narrative #manipulates people and fails to show not tell #bnha critical #mha #bnha #bnha meta #anti lov #anti shigaraki #anti shigaraki toumra #anti tomura shigaraki #anti himiko toga #anti dabi #anti twice #anti league of villains

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v-akarai · 2 years

Text

Why servamps are a failure

or rather why they can be nothing but an incomplite and never a living thing

Even the Mother, who seemed to be the closest of all siblings to finding the peace and the true answer for her "sin" and thus managed to calm her demon down, even she called herself nobody without a name. There is no way for servamps to become "somebody" once and for all, even with the help of eves. The best that eves can do is to help find true reasons behind servamps' "sins" and solve them out, like it was with Hyde, Ildio and will probably happen with Kuro.

Actually, no one wants to sin or meet the consequences. But when humans are afraid of losing something, they're prone to start abusing it. Lawless didn't want to see everything as worthless, or to carelessly change eves. He wanted to treasure and to achieve. For Ildio everything became tastless because he didn't know what to do with this infinite freedom.

Kuro wanted to get a bit of peace here and now, but because his troubles were too hard for him to solve, he got a false peace by ignoring his own anxious, depressing thoughts and problems that were causing them. It reminds of Ildio's case. Of course, it didn't work. Each one's mental state and problems were just getting worse.

I also doubt the sin always charactises the human part of servamp, I mean, the person that was turned into servamp, but it primarily charactises the demon. At least, we were shown the Wrath demon's urge to fight and rampage but not Freya's one. Yes, the demon affects her, as could be seen even during fight with Shamrock.

Freya still was ready to cut his head off and destroy him. She, the servamp named Freya, wanted that. When Izuna took away her sword, Freya seemed so shocked, as if asking: "why on earth did you stop me?"

It was only a brief moment, just the remaining excitment of the battle, it wasn't even her normal emotions, but this is how it is. Even after Izuna managed to see fear and hurting that hide behind wrath and came to terms with the demon, some things remained the same. As if servamps develop a taste for their sins very fast, and this is why eves should serve as counterweights, to remind servamps about their true wishes, reasons for their actions and feelings. And it'll be this way until there are demons, since sins are the key to their longevity, their endless resource with which they maintain life in servamps. Because of that demons cannot but keep on intoxicating human parts.

Over the course of time, the technique was, indeed, improved. Lily also started to 'atone' his sin, but still he wasn't free from it, begining from his strips and ending with the overprotection of Misono (if we can consider lust as not only carnal desire but also as strong feelings that make people do harmful things out of love).

Even Tsubaki calls himself unperfect. Because the living thing is an integral thing, it consists of the one and only part. It isn't a cup that broke down into pieces and then was glued back with some additional substance.

This is why the Count decided to 'deassemble' his creations, as they were when he found them, and instead of keeping the broken thing in a frozen state until enernity, he will (probably) try to make them reborn, integral and whole again. I have no idea how it can be possible, thou. Especially since his own "rebirth" involves using Tsubaki as the core (but maybe this time w/o the personality and any sin) and someone's (Tsurugi?) body, but well

Futhermore, looking at Lily and Hyde, it seems that demons and humans switch places? Kind of. Demons acquire the physical form, while the souls stay inside preserved, pending the rebirth.

#servamp

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letthebodyfall · 1 year

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oh my god tell me about dr. forger's wife dropping a half a million dalcs into their joint account pls

wheeze four of you asked me this so here asdffgdfgdf

@nire-the-mithridatist @sister-cna-reader @rachellysebrook

ps he is very smitten with his fake wife;;;

The ability to provide can be challenging.

With how tense the current political climate Ostania was in at the moment, earning a decent living while fending off the stress of having the State Security Service breathing down his neck proved to be fairly difficult.

It didn’t help that he was of Westalis descent. Moving to Ostania a little over five years ago raised a few eyebrows, both from his colleagues back at home and the embassy that he had to get approvals from just to practice here.

He didn’t have anything to hide. Dr. Loid Forger was as clean as he could possibly be. But qualities like that didn’t stop the nosy busybodies from making false reports to the SSS. They were already understaffed due to people reporting those that they disliked to the secret police instead of working it out between them.

Three nurses down, at least one doctor. Most were innocent as far as he knew, but espionage is one particular field that he didn’t have much knowledge of nor was interested in. Not that he could get insider knowledge of it considering one misstep could get him jailed, or worse, stripped off his license.

It was also a little concerning that he didn’t seem to be in Chief Medical Director Gorey’s good graces for whatever reason.

He sighed.

He couldn’t lose his job over something like that. Couldn’t afford to. Not when he had a family to provide for. It helped that he had Yor to help with the expenses, even with her meager salary from city hall, but sometimes their salaries combined could barely get them through the month.

A smile made its way onto his face, relieving the stress that’s been drilling into his head for the last hour and a half, at the sudden thought of his spouse.

New spouse, he had to admit. Yor Briar, now Forger, became his family’s matriarch just two months’ prior although their documents said otherwise. It was an underhanded tactic to hire an old friend to forge their paperwork but he was desperate.

Eden Academy, for all of their accolades and rather ridiculous demands, required two living parents just for a child to get accepted. So the deal was made: he needed a wife, she needed a husband to avoid suspicion from the SSS. It was perfect.

He almost had a wife before, and while their relationship wasn’t tumultuous, it wasn’t ideal. But they wanted it to work, wanted to make it work for the child they took in. They almost made it work.

Until they couldn’t.

Loid shook his head. This wasn’t the time to think of such thoughts. He had other things to think about, other problems that needed to be dealt with, incoming patients that needed his attention. He’d be working overtime again. Yor didn’t mind but he hated it, hated that it took time away from his family.

Anya was putting on a brave face but he saw how much it affected her. He was a psychiatrist, for god’s sake. His job was to make sure people’s mental health improved, and yet he couldn’t do the same for his own daughter? Pathetic, Dr. Forger.

Yor was a massive help. She was a little odd, sometimes even baffling, but he had to admit that she’s endearing. Always cheerful, always helpful around the house, always supportive of his and Anya’s endeavors. Her food was comparable to toxic waste but he had to commend her for the effort.

She got along well with Anya, which was the most important part. It was a particular concern of his when they first started this arrangement. Anya wasn’t the shyest of children, but he knew that sudden changes in a child’s environment can easily cause damage to their psyche. But it all worked out in the end.

His child needed a good model. Thankfully Yor Briar Forger was able to fit that role comfortably and effortlessly.

#ask game #wheezing #wip

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sharp-and-swift · 2 years

Text

Can I just have a mini ted talk about how fictional characters absolutely have an impact on real people’s lives?

I’ve seen a lot of “it’s not real, they’re actors” and “it’s just a tv show” in response to some people being devastated at how ST4 ended. And okay, to you it’s a tv show and it all might seem silly.

But for some folks — myself included — fiction is an escape whenever reality gets to be too much. It started when we were kids and we never grew out of it. So we just dive into these worlds and become attached to characters. Maybe because we wish we knew someone like that irl or because the character is just like you and you feel seen. For whatever reason they provide comfort. That’s what a comfort character is all about. It’s why a lot of us are on here, replaying scenes/GIFs and creating/consuming fan fic. It actually means something to us and improves our overall mood and mental/emotional state. It gets us by when things are rough.

So when that character — whoever it is — is lost, it’s devastating. So please don’t write us off or make us feel like something’s wrong with us for being distraught when a beloved character dies. It’s that moment when the absolute brutality of the real world crosses over into your safe space and it can be crushing. It’s even worse when that death feels cheap and didn’t do justice to that character. And realizing that you’re in your feelings and having a shitty day bc of “some dude who died in a TV show” and that it’s OKAY to feel that way just means you are comfortable with who you are and are being your authentic self.

Yeah, I became attached to a fictional character and I’m now grieving their death. And it’s comforting seeing so many others also feeling actual FEELINGS about it. A lot of people are processing this right now and you’re seeing legit stages of grief playing out. It feels the same to us, whether it’s triggered by the real world or fiction. And you don’t have to understand it but you don’t have to judge it, either. Like I don’t give a shit about sports but I don’t judge someone or taunt them when they’re depressed when their team loses (or fucking elated when they win). Human beings are different but we’re all just trying to get by and sometimes we pin our hopes on non-harmful things that might confuse others. That’s okay.

#yeah I’m in my feelings #he didn’t have to die and he didn’t have to die that way either #and there was no real acknowledgment of his death aside from Dustin and Wayne

#stranger things volume 2 #stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

Dark Angel Reaction: C.R.E.A.M.

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Brief aside for yet another stunning introductory conversation:

Jezebel: How many episodes are in season one? Wench: kjdsflkajs Like, 21 Jezebel: Season two? Wench: Also 21 Jezebel: And how many is Ackles in? Wench: Um… 21 - 3 + 1, so 19. Ish. Jezebel: OK that’s good Wench: ??? Jezebel: I was like am I really gonna have to deal with this version of Max for that long and not even get my fill of Ackles Wench: askdjflkajdflkjadf The first Ackles ep is episode 17 of s1; you'll have a fix soon. Jezebel: Yeah but he dies that’s… That’s like getting a fix but it’s laced with something that cancels the fix before you really enjoyed it Wench: ... I'm adding this conversation to the post

There ya go; an insight into our bonkers mental states at the start of this episode

– – –

[Okay, I’m sorry, but this is the third of three non-pilot titles in a row that is an innuendo in one way or the other; was this intentional or did they just get reallyyyyy unlucky? Or. I guess. Really lucky. You never know.]

It’s the guy from water boy. Not really but how he talked

Logan so mysterious

She looks like Ziva (Tony’s love interest in NCIS)

"Your. Father. WAS. Disappeared." ??? Say it weirder why don't you

“So depressing” Bitch

Oh find something that made it up your alley huh

ITS A TRAP!!! THATS PENNYWISE!! RUNNNNN KIDS [He comes up later, actually.] TIM CURRY? [No, Pennywise] Lame [LKA;LDSKFKL] Tim Curry’s awesome 😂

Lintlicker the dancing clown

This opening end kills me. The fetus doing cartwheels in her eye is just… wot [alksjdflkajdsflkasjd I KNOW. But it gets worse in s2] Like it would have been edgier to have the young version

I LOVE HIS ACCENTTTTTT [I wanna say his name is Herbal, btw] Like the tea! Makes sense his voice is calming!

*sigh* how cliche

That Nintendo? THATS NINTENDO!

Them and the damn bike tricks

I love her. OC I mean. (Then again the other her is Max so that should have been easy to understand)

Ewwww the trash water

Is that money?

Does NO ONE look up in this show? Ever? LIKE. she wasn’t even inconspicuous! [NO THEY NEVER DO]

Matilda. The scene where she’s under the table hiding

“What if I wanna hold it over here” ☠️☠️ [Oh, look, she’s showing off again.] Wot. Ma’am's little speeches hurt my brain

☠️☠️☠️☠️"It looked like a girl"

SHIT I NEED TO DO THE ASK ABOUT NORMAL! SORRY ANON!!! I’LL DO IT SOON (But at least I will have a little more to go off)

I thought he said the dad was hitting the bong and had a boyfriend

Iss me, oh my

[Not Logan offering her a way to seem slightly less blatantly transgenic/conspicuous by carrying a gun and her saying “Nah I wanna show off my asskicking powers instead.”] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Women! Lol

– – –

Midpoint (Kinda) Judgement (aka: this practice came about because we keep having to pause in the middle, and this time it was slightly before halfway through, but it counts enough ig): Ok, so this one doesn’t feel as Max heavy. But alas she’s still there and still got her new and improved (hah) attitude. Although it’s not as strong as last ep. BUT again this doesn’t seem as Max centric as the other three, so maybe that will change second half. [Are you talking about the way there's a second plot with Sketch, OC, Herbal, et al?] Yeah and then Logan looking for the girls father. Just seems everyone else has been on screen more and she pops in says something with attitude thens like gotta blaze gotta jet gotta fly. Gotta do whatever. [That's gonna be pretty off-and-on common. s2, for example, usually has two plotlines; Max-centric and other-centric. A lot of the time, that's Alec's plotline, but sometimes it's Joshua or Sketchy or one of the others. It's nice in some ways, iffy in others, but yeah] Ahhhh! I see! Not complaining :) lol

– – –

Oh that was money!

bitch slappppeddd

I get those too I get it (ulcers). (I don’t really. Well, I might. Idk)

Oh man

Looooool “bounce”. That ones new

Poor Sketch (sarcasm cause he is kinda sleezy) [You mean... sketchy? :) But he gets a bit better]

How does he make those damn glasses look good.

I love her hairrrrrrr. If she’s gonna be a bitch, why did she have to change the hair??? Gimme something Alba! *sigh*

Le gasp! Isn’t he the dead guy

He is!!! Plot twissstttt

Ahh love. It be doing thing to ya

Man you can’t see her

Don’t you know that’s how you get dead? Has he not watched tv?

If she. If. She. If she says one more thing that seems like a slap to his wheelchair boundness. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 "A girl who moves the furniture (cause you can’t)"

How did he abandon you, chick? Y’all were estranged! Do you know know what that means?

Girl/thought-dead father vs Max/red balloon. Not the same

☠️ Letting that balloon go messed her up ☠️☠️ [LKJLKADSJF;LKASJDF;LKSAJDF; NOOOOOO!!! I’m ded. I’m. Dead. That’s it. You killed me.]

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 Looking like one of Charlie’s angels

Bimboooossss 🙂 damn being a girl comes in handy

“Cause I’m a super human. I told you this last episode. Not my fault you didn’t buy it.”

☠️☠️☠️☠️ “17 black, like me.”

☠️☠️☠️ Here we play for money (You know he didn’t want to say that)

☠️☠️☠️☠️ YOU SHOULD THROW ONE OF YOUR TENS… YOU GOT TOO MANY

[The absolute wall of skulls here.] …..☠️☠️☠️☠️

Dramatic card-playing

[... Gonna be honest... new ship unlocked] I knowwww [Just saying, Max/OC would also explain the latter’s tendency to view Max as amazing regardless of context. She screwed with Logan’s brain too.] This is very true!

I TOLD YOU I WAS A SUPER HUMAN

POWER OF THE BOOB.! That money held up that whole fight

[Poor Sketchy is such a screw-up. I forgot how bad s1!Sketch was, because s2!Sketch is at least vaguely competent.] 😂😂😂

Welp. Here’s where either one or both die. Or she kills him.

Huh. Damn. Called it

Oh boo boo hoo.

[Logan: *Angstily exercises*]

Sad death video

[“C.R.E.A.M., baby. C.R.E.A.M.” WHAT DID I SAY!??!?! THAT WAS FREAKING INTENTIONAL.] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

More talking in circles [Simultaneously: She did the "or maybe not' thing agai- askdjf;lkajdf Same brain cell :)] *sigh*

Aight done and done!

#dark angel #dark angel reactions #reactions #episode reactions #s01e04 #C.R.E.A.M.#max guevara #logan cale #original cindy #sketchy #jezebel (pr)

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taisiakat · 2 years

Text

Monthly reading for Sept 2022

Decks:

The DreamKeepers Tarot Shadowscapes Tarot The Shaman’s Dream Oracle

Animal Info: What is My Spirit Animal

Music: Deep resonating rhythms with Didgeridoo & Drums

The Cards:

Focus: IX of Wands

You have been on a life quest/journey/life goal for some time now. It has been long, complicated, arduous path, filled with struggle, detours, pitfalls, challenges and strife. But at the same time it has been wondrous, amazing, expansive, the growth alone has been well past your wildest dreams.

Even if you are fatigued, exhausted, feeling like you have stretched yourself so thin, that even one more step will break you into tiny pieces, keep on moving forward. Rest if you must, but keep taking the next step and the next and the next until you reach the final step of achievement to this life quest. Call upon your guides to support, give you strength, walk with you, and catch you if you stumble.

This has tested you, sharpened you, brought your awareness up so many levels. If you look back when you first started down this path it seemed IMPOSSIBLE to achieve what you wanted to.

But you will by the end of this month, arrive at the final destination.

The worse is behind you. This is the last leg of this particular life journey/goal.

Intent: King of Cups

As the King of Cups is a wise and deeply understanding man, he is also in tune with his emotions. He has learned to walk with his emotions, observe them, feel them, but do not let them get swept up in them. This means he is the master of them, not the victim of them. This life journey/goal you are completing, is learning how truly to be a master/mistress of your emotions, in balance with mental, physical and spiritual responses of them.

As you move through September, Mercury Retrograde will test your metal to see if you are truly ready to make the next expansion to your spiritual growth. These trials and the passing of them with flying colors the universe will certify you as someone who is now has achieved a greater understanding of how emotions help us, is very aware of how to be with their emotions, and has learned to how to be response-able by making better choices on how you respond to a situation. Through guiding, and interacting with empathy as each scenario appears you will feel more and more confident that your have truly achieved the state of peace when it comes to complex feelings and complex situations that bring about these feelings.

This includes accepting and being able to stand with your heart, and experience deeply and richly - Life!

Opportunity: IV of Swords

With each step through this month, Stop rest, review, and release and then proceed to the next step. The opportunity here is to create a set of actions that will help solidify navigating through complex emotions, feelings, and situation.

By making this mantra - Step, stop, rest, review, release, Step, stop, rest, review, release etc, you will be able to let yourself find it easier when you start feeling overwhelmed or over-committed. This process is how we learn to really live and experience the ever expanding dimension of life.

So enjoy each step, each stop, each precious stillness when you rest, as you review, and when you release. Raising your awareness with each of these will rejuvenate all of you and be better equipped when it comes to every day stress, trauma and triggers that happen no matter how much work we put in improving ourselves.

As you are resting, call upon Black panther to give you courage to face the mystery ahead of you, Raven to help you bring forth your magickal nature and raise your awareness, an white dove - bringer of peace and harmony.

Healing: Knight of Wands

As you work through September with the Focus/Intent make sure you call in the tools you have learned to heal daily traumas, release the pain, forgive yourself, and flow the energy back into you so you can continue making these changes, the progress and then the completion of this life goal journey. At the same time, make sure to allow the healing of warmth, gratitude and accomplishment of each and every step, action, lesson you have learned on this experience.

There is a wonderful joy that takes place when you celebrate your accomplishments, the knowledge you learn , the wisdom you gain.

We rarely think of healing as re-filling but when we have been struggling, healing of that trauma, the celebration of making it through that situation is also healing and gaining strength.

Lion (Qilin) brings to the healing process to reclaim your divine power, and strength that comes from being self-confident. Lion also brings to us the pride of being majestic, being sovereign, being the king of our own space.

Fox helps us regain the child curiosity, the playfulness, the enjoyment of exploration, of the journey.

Call upon these animals to help with the healing as well.

Blessings: Five of Wands

There has been so many challenges, difficulties, unexpected roadblocks, detours, conflicting forks in the path, efforts blocked, action stopped, every which way but loose trial.

These obstructions have worn you down at times on this path. They have even broken you into tears, feelings of frustrations, questioning even the ability to possibly complete this goal seemed questionable.

The little voices urging you to just quit, give it up, it will never work, all these that you did not let get to you. Even if you did falter, you still got back up, dusted yourself off, took deep breaths, and moved forward again.

Each of these times were blessings. Blessed that you had the courage to face your fears, the strength to hold yourself up, the power to quiet the voices, the knowledge how to take the next step, where to step, when to step. And the wisdom to rest, not argue with it, but to rest and admire the point you were at.

Appreciate these blessings, for they are in you, with you and for you.

Learn to draw them out now, as tools to face new challenges an complex/difficult situations to come.

Reward: Nine of Wands

What we start the month with, we end with it as the reward as well. This long term goal, life goal, spirit goal, which has taken a long time to complete, is OVER, DONE, COMPLETED, ACHIEVED.

It is completed. You have arrived an achieved what it was you set yourself out to accomplish!

DO NOT RUSH into anything new. This is a time to celebrate, to enjoy, to revel in. Feel the feels. Admire the accomplishment, step into the moment of glory and honor that you have achieved something so powerful, so life changing, so very few achieve.

It will help to spend a few days if not a few weeks just doing a post-mortem of the path, your experiences, make a travel blog about it. It might just surprise yourself when you recount the tale of this journey.

We never take enough time to really survey what we have gone through, to examine it, bring new awareness into our lives because our own perceptions have now changed because of this journey.

Take that time now!

Ask yourself:

What are the lessons I have learned?

What new knowledge do I have?

What wisdom did I gain?

What are some of the new tools and how to use them?

What was my favorite moment on this path?

What will I cherish from this experience?

It is important for you to really allow yourself the time to really let this sink in. To 'be with the results' before moving on.

Guides: 28 - Hollow Bone (Teachability)

Let the breath of the Divine breathe through you this month as you are the hollow bone, a musical instrument of the Divine. It is a time where your spirit guides are going to lead you through vision quests, through your own creation, through creation itself so you can find your own place within the Universal Orchestra.

Let the music of your spirit flow free and listen to that music for that music is the collaboration with your guides and the Divine with you.

It will help soothe you during the more difficult aspects of this final leg of this life quest/journey/goal that is coming to fruition this month. It will bring you joy, bring a feeling of celebration, dance and attunement to the music of the universe. Listen around you as well to the others that are also instruments of the Divine that compliment you in harmony and unison.

In addition - Moose is offering to be a guide - both as a shamanic guide and a spirit animal guide. Moose brings wisdom, knowledge, strength and courage. It also brings to the table the long haul of growth through raising one's awareness about ones surroundings, ones own position and ones stance.

@}}>`~~~~~~~~~~~

Please feel free to ask any questions, share your thoughts, and let me know how I can assist you. I have slots available for personal readings. If you are interested, please contact me for more information. Experience, observe, be curious and enjoy! The Last Chance Crone - helping you with your shit when other methods fail

#sept 2022 #tarot #divination #tarot reading #tarotreading #shadowscapes tarot #dreamkeeperstarot #oraclecards #oraclereading #ShamansDreamOracle #newmonth reading #lastchancecrone #spirituality #spirit animal

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zeta-in-de-walls · 3 years

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Tommy’s character and the theme of failure

One thing I’ve always rather appreciated about Tommy’s story in the Dream SMP is how it explores the idea of failure. It can be a challenging one to do right as it means exploring a character’s weakness a lot and can start to feel unsatisfying if the character never succeeds but I feel like Tommy’s story avoids this issue as his arc is ultimately an encouraging one. His character never stops trying or gives up in spite of his losses, showing the perseverance to keep going until eventually he starts to find happiness, no matter how elusive it seems.

Tommy’s character is no stranger to failure of course but I’d say this theme starts to become prominent with November the 16th. Tommy had two goals: to save L’Manberg and to save Wilbur. He was pretty optimistic about both. And he failed. The day ended in disaster with Wilbur dead, Technoblade, his idol, mocking his heroism and telling him to die, and his home in ruins. It takes him a long time to come to terms with who Wilbur was, separating Wilbur into two in his mind: President Wilbur and the ‘crazy’ Wilbur who blew up L’Manburg.

But Tommy continues on, quietly moving on as L’Manburg gets rebuilt. No matter what, he still believes in L’Manburg; it’s still alive. Also, he wants to finally get his remaining disc back from Dream, feeling the need to do this after putting it aside for so long.

But of course, things don’t go well. That which he had taken for granted, his bond with Tubbo, was under fire. His personal wish to get his discs back was causing division. A simple prank gone wrong was tearing everything apart as Dream threatened L’Manburg once again. None of these things were purely Tommy’s actions, and yet his actions played a part all the same as Dream essentially took advantage of all of Tommy’s weaknesses. Tommy was being viewed as a liability, a troublemaker, as self-centred, as a problem.

Tommy’s character likely blamed himself somewhat for his failure with Wilbur and L’Manburg the first time but it had been out of his hands and his reactions were more shock than being truly broken by the events and he kept up his optimism. Yet this time, the problems were not things far beyond his control. It seemed it was his own mistakes spelling his doom and it impacted him quite severely. As much as he recognised Dream as an antagonist here, his friends distrust of him was his failure. Despite his best efforts, he could not convince Tubbo not to exile him.

Rather than seeing the fairly resilient, optimistic Tommy like the first time he was banished, this time Tommy’s defeated. We see the full effects it takes on his mental state and the narrative does not pull its punches. Tommy’s already depressed and we start to see evidence of suicidal thoughts very quickly. This is all made far, far worse by Dream who encourages his dark thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, telling him everyone’s better off without him while breaking his spirit and making him miserable by repeatedly blowing up his items.

Dream was of course Tommy’s enemy, he’d recognised before that what Dream had been doing to L’Manburg, with the obsidian walls and insisting on banishing Tommy, had been unfair even if Tommy had been helpless to stop him. Yet over exile we see him really start to internalise Dream’s words, starting to really believe that narrative that he is unloved and a liability, despite his best efforts. As his mental state worsens we see him starting to believe Dream’s lies so much that he begins to believe that Dream is really his friend who cares about him. Meanwhile, he’s angrier and lashing out at the people he cares about, we seem him kill Jack, break the bridges he built and generally lashing out at the people he misses the most.

So through exile, we see Tommy at his weakest and most vulnerable. We also see some of his flaws with his uglier side, his uncontrolled emotions, his dependency on others, his deep self-worth issues and how he can be so successfully lied to. This deep exploration of Tommy’s character allows us to really see how the repeated failures and setbacks and losses affected his character mentally and depict it as yet another obstacle he needs to overcome.

And ultimately he does, ultimately deciding to fight back and run away from exile on his own. Tommy’s arc goes to very depressing places but manages to remain an inspiring story by showing you at his weakest and yet also show him never truly giving up but pressing on, in search of that happy ending. Running away from exile has him also realising that Dream is his enemy, not his friend and he commits to fighting back against him.

But of course the narrative doesn’t entirely move on. Tommy’s struggles and failures continue to plague him as the mental issues he has with self-worth and his confused feelings towards Dream do not go away. He managed to continue but that wasn’t the perfect victory as most of his problems are still there and he’s still the same person. at Techno’s house, we see him and his confusion. He’s lighthearted and joking about but he’s still deeply troubled without a clear stance on Dream or L’Manburg or Tubbo and he clings to the idea of the disc as a simple goal. It seems as if he’s doomed to become the person he hated or make the same mistakes again. He once failed to save Wilbur and it seems as if his greatest failure would be to go down Wilbur’s path too, blowing up the country he once loved.

And Tommy nearly goes too far. He finally meets Tubbo again and his anger, his issues all come back as does some self-centred behaviour as he declares that ‘the discs are worth more than you ever were’.

And he immediately regrets it. He apologises, he turns around and gives them up to Dream. He won’t let himself turn into Wilbur.

And yet, every little victory he fights so hard for is met with an even greater failure. He switches sides on Technoblade while giving Dream exactly what he wanted. His story isn’t a happy one in spite of him trying his very best and making the decisions that are right for him. And we can only wonder how inevitable it was or if he could’ve done better for he hurts Techno deeply. Is he doing better or does his very nature doom him to make the same mistakes again and again?

Once ore, we see L’Manburg blown up and this time Tommy declares it a lost cause. Despite his best efforts, it’s over and we can only stare at the ruins of the nation he’d once helped build with Wilbur. Additionally, Tommy is dead to Techno now, that relationship seemingly broken forever.

But it’s not the end. Tommy is defeated once more, with each failure hitting harder than the last but he doesn’t give up. He keeps on fighting. For all he’s lost, he’s won Tubbo back, and the experiences may have been terrible but he has learned something through all of it. Even if all that is, is understanding suffering a bit better and getting back the courage to apologise and reconcile.

He and Tubbo go after Dream and it’s almost, almost too late. He’s nearly locked in prison forever and Tubbo almost killed.

But it’s not end. Just this once, it’s not a failure. They bet it all and finally had that victory. The rest of the server comes to save them and Dream gets locked in his prison while Tommy and Tubbo are finally free.

Course, Tommy’s story isn’t over there. And the thing with this theme of failure is that it keeps on cropping up. They may have finally gotten a victory but Tommy’s issues aren’t over. he tries to start again, building his hotel but the trauma from exile has made an impact on him. It’s something that can’t be solved in a day, but only over a long time. And despite everything, the issues keep coming back. Tommy feels like things are unresolved with Dream and visits him again.

And he gets locked in prison and dies and then gets resurrected. And its all absolutely devastating and it seems as if Tommy will never get better, that he’ll never truly have his happy ending. His hotel gets stolen from him and its as if everything he tries to do ends in failure.

He tries to sort things out, tries solving things with killing Dream and it just gets Ghostbur killed and the guilt can only eat at him. Wilbur is back at Tommy’s afraid but time has passed and he’s starting to see Wilbur more for who he is. After all he’s been through, he understands him way better than he did before. He once more commits to helping him but Tommy isn’t the naive kid he once was.

Tommy still lives in the very same spot he always did. He still wants the same things he always did: a home, security, peace, friends, and he’s been experiencing many losses. And yet, his story is not a hopeless one. Because in spite of all that’s happened, he’s still trying again. And he’s learned and can avoid making those mistakes again. Right now, he’s doing better, he’s committing to living peacefully in a way he hasn’t in a long time. He’s been attempting to build bridges and though all his failures haunt him, he is gradually healing day by day, still trying to find that happy ending.

I think Tommy’s story is very cool for the way it really explores these themes of failure. It does not pull its punches, its dark, never easy or straightforward but that’s also what makes it so powerful. Those bright spots, feel so good, they feel so rewarding because they were so hard-fought. We root for Tommy’s character because we’ve seen his journey and really feel he deserves his happy end even though its never going to be perfect and indeed every failure is a mixture of forces outside of his control and his character which he has been trying to improve, learning to be nicer, more forgiving and more aware of his own emotions. He can’t fix Dream nor does he know how best to help Wilbur but he can help himself and that’s what he’s always trying to do. He holds himself to account and always tries his best.

#tommyinnit #meta #analysis #dream smp #long post #finally got round to writing this #dream smp meta #heh i blame the music i was listening to #ive been thinking about this subject a lot but suddenly listening to this song called 'the same mistake' one too many times #and i finally wrote my thoughts out #this is mostly from his character's perspective if it sounds like im blaming tommys character a lot here #he's biased ofc - he's just trying his best and didn't deserve the consequences he received #aaah a lot of characters on the smp have failures but i like how tmmys really toy with the ideas of failure a lot #i love character who never give up no matter how many times they fail a i find it super encouraging #so yeha i do love tommys character

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

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Dark Roast, No Sugar

“Last night I woke the hell up. I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah.” - Jon Bellion

Masterlist

Chapter Nine-

Aelin showed up to the police department in a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt. She didn't even bother putting on the new-ish sneakers she owned, opting for the ones with holes because they didn't squeeze her feet. It wasn't the first impression she wanted to give, but you deserve a little forgiveness when making a whole-ass human.

Leaning over the dash of the car, she presses a friendly kiss to the side of Chaol's face. "Thanks for the ride, boys."

His cheeks redden, and Dorian leans as much of his body as he can into the front of the car, "No sugar for me?"

Aelin laughs and kisses his cheek good-naturedly. "Feel less left out now?"

"Much better," the corners of his happy smile dim, his blue eyes dart to the doors of the precinct. "Are you sure you don't want me to call you a lawyer, Aelin?"

Chaol nods his agreement beside him, his hands clenching the steering wheel despite the car being in park. "Do you want me to go inside with you?"

Aelin feels a bubble of warmth blossoming in her chest. Their worried faces and eagerness to help her- it was almost enough to warm an assassin's heart. "Don't worry. They just need me to clarify a few things in my statement. Nothing serious. Paperwork issues."

Dorian and Chaol had shown up right as she was walking out of the front door of The Stag. When they realized she was leaving and offered her a ride... Aelin couldn't say no. Not with how her feet were aching.

It took some more reassuring, but they finally agreed to let her leave their caring grasps.

Fenrys met her at the door with a smile, "Hey, Baby Mama. Looking beautiful."

Aelin is surprised to find she's genuinely happy to see him. She can't help the toothy grin he brings out in her. "I'm well. How are you this morning, Fen?"

Fenrys lights up at the nickname. "I bought us some donuts. We have a hard day of work ahead of us, and I figured we would deserve a treat in advance."

Donuts sounded phenomenal and vastly improved her outlook of the day.

He steers her through the PD, and several heads turn to stare as she passes. Aelin didn't particularly care. Whatever they thought they knew about her, they probably didn't.

When they finally reach Rowan's office, they find him slumped over a laptop at a desk piled high with neatly stacked papers. The room is minimalistic. Only necessary office items were visible—no personal effects, knickknacks, or pictures of any kind adorning the space.

Rowan himself is also in his usual state of neatness, minus the dirt she could see staining the underside of his nails. He must have been gardening this morning.

Aelin doesn't bother with greetings. She grabs a chair opposite him and sits down. The last few days, she'd been feeling more drained and quick to tire. At first, she attributed it to the baby getting larger and demanding more of her body's resources, but now Aelin started to think that she caught a bug galavanting through the night.

Fenrys set a blueberry donut and a cup of hot tea in front of her. Bless him. Aelin mumbles her thanks before stuffing her mouth.

Rowan shuts his laptop with a snap and replaces it with a yellow notepad. "Alright, Aelin. I need a name. Who do you think is doing this?"

"When is Aedion getting released?" She says around a mouthful of glazed blueberry.

Fenrys slumps into an office chair at a tinier desk in the corner of the room. "This afternoon."

"If all goes well at this meeting," Rowan tacks on the thinly veiled warning. "I need a name."

Aelin leans back in her seat and takes a deep breath. There was a strange heaviness in giving his name. As if speaking it would materialize him into existence in front of her. Her goal when she moved to Ornyth was to forget about him and push her old master as far from her mind as she physically could, but she supposed it was naive to think he wouldn't come looking for her.

This wasn't just for her, Aelin reminds herself. Aedion would benefit from this conversation.

"His name is Arobynn Hammel. He's thirty-five, red hair, grey eyes, and an utter asshole." Aelin lays the name of her childhood tormentor out on the table. A bad taste sours her mouth.

Rowan tosses the notepad to Fenrys, who relays what she said to the paper. He looks at her over his desk with an unreadable expression. "What is your relation to Mr. Hammel?"

"Why?" Aelin chuckles as if the stress is trying to escape her with each half-hearted chuckle. "Do you want to know if he's my baby daddy?"

"Yes," Rowan and Fenrys say simultaneously.

Aelin's smile falls, and she scowls at both of them. They didn't know better, but she still felt insulted.

"He isn't, but I suppose he probably would have liked to be. Make sure to underline that," she points at Fenry's pad of paper. "Arobynn raised me. I don't think he was legally a foster parent, but he is who I was given to in the shuffle after the occupation."

Rowan dips his chin. Green eyes focus on her intensely, as if he's trying to absorb and commit her every word to memory. "How old were you when they put you in his care?"

"Eight," Aelin breathes out, a sharp tingling of grief comes with that admission. "I lived with him from the time I was eight until I turned nineteen."

"Why do you suspect him of producing and distributing Synth?" Rowan asks the nail-in-the-coffin question, and Aelin has to bite back old instincts to lie and conceal this information. It makes her feel vulnerable to expose Arobynn.

Vulnerability isn't an emotion she handles well. After all, when you bare your neck to someone, it becomes within their power to cut their throat.

"I've seen where he makes it, and I oversaw some of his high-risk contracts and dealings with the distribution," Fenrys chokes beside her, but he smothers it with a cough. Even Rowan looks a little taken back, eyes narrowing.

"At what age did you start assisting with his-" he struggles to find the words. "-His business practices."

Aelin blinks, "Eight."

This time, neither of them covers their reactions. They both freeze in their seats, an air of disbelief hanging over them. Aelin feels a chill and tugs at the hem of her shirt, wishing the sleeves were longer.

"What?" Rowan is the first to break the tension.

"I was displaced in the occupation," Aelin begins the watered-down version of her sob story. "I was carted into Adarlan and placed in the care of Arobynn Hammel. Within a couple of months, he was already using me as a mule to get orders across Rifthold. He trained me in various skills to carry out larger jobs, along with a few other children."

"There were others?" Rowan looks saddened by that tidbit.

Mentally Aelin wants to laugh.

Of course, he would be upset at the prospect of other good children suffering from such a fate.`Ones who had the potential he thought she lacked.

If only he knew what bastards they all grew up to be, and she by far was not the worst of them.

Fenrys' eyes were gleaming with more pity than Aelin was comfortable with because, unlike Rowan, she knew it was directed towards her. Gratefully he didn't dig too deeply. Instead, Fenrys picked up the next question. "Can you name the others?"

Aelin bites her lip, leg fidgeting under the table. "Tern Fletcher, Archer Flynn, Adam Mulligan, Lysandra Ennar-" she swallows past the lump in her throat. "Samuel Cortland and myself."

"Lysandra was involved?" Rowan leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. He hasn't looked away, barely blinked, since the questioning began. Aelin feels naked as his eyes seemed to be raking in her every movement.

"Not-" she tries to think of how to phrase it in a way that respects her friend's privacy. "She wasn't involved in the same capacity I was."

"Are the others you know still working with Hammel?" Rowan asks, and Aelin gladly lets them move the conversation away from Lys. She wasn't comfortable digging into her friend's wounds when she wasn't around.

"I suspect Mulligan, Flynn, and Fletcher. They were extremely loyal, and as of the last time I saw them, very active in the business." Aelin fondly remembers the beat down she laid on Archer before their parting words. He sold them out, and she hopes for his sake that they never run into each other again.

Fenrys looks up, "What about Samuel?"

"What?" Aelin flinches, the question taking her back.

"Samuel Cortland," Rowan reiterates. "You named him as one of the employees in Hammel's custody but implied he's no longer active in the business. Where is he then?" He leans forward, and Aelin wishes she could shrink back. "Would he be willing to speak with us?"

"Children." Her voice comes out as gruffer than she intends. "We were kids. Not employees. It wasn't a mutual agreement. None of us could consent to what became of us."

Aelin is surprised by the emotion that makes itself known. She swallows back the tears that want to fall and stuffs her trembling hands under her thighs. The implication any of them had a choice in serving Arobynn was disturbing and utterly wrong.

The taste of skin between her teeth, blood crusting under her nails, and being surrounded in pitch-black darkness consume her. Aelin suddenly feels more ill than she had this morning.

"Of course, Aelin." Fenrys placates. "That's understood. We just need to know where Samuel is. He could be very useful to the investigation."

"Dead," Aelin throws the word out like a dying fish on the table. "He died."

It hurt to say that. Tears burned in the corners of her eyes. Sam dying was worse than talking about Arobynn. A million times worse.

Aelin tries to swallow the lead rock in her throat. Arobynn didn't deserve to be known. His legacy was of blood, abuse, and control. It belonged in the sewer alongside his corpse.

Sam, on the other hand, deserved to be known. He abandoned by the system, forgotten by his family, and still chose kindness above all else. Sam's story deserved to be told, and it killed Aelin that it hurt her so much to share it.

"How did he die?" Fenrys prods delicately.

"What?" Aelin asks dumbly, heart accelerating in her chest.

"How did Samuel die? Any details you can give are beneficial. and you agreed to cooperate." Rowan reminds her sternly.

Mala save her, she couldn't go into detail about how she found him. She couldn't. Aelin feels blood rushing up to her head, and the room seems to sway.

"Sam. He liked to be called Sam-" Is all Aelin manages to choke out. "Excuse me."

Pushing herself from the desk, she shakily bolts for the office door. Their complaints are silenced as the glass shuts behind her. Outside, Aelin can feel the trembling beginning in her hands and spreading up her arms.

Sweat beads on her forehead in the oppressive heat of the building, but when she rubs her face, it feels damp and cold to the touch.

Aelin frantically strides down the hall, eyes darting around madly for a bathroom door. Nausea was creeping up her throat, and she really didn't want to throw up in someone's trashcan. She knew she was moving quickly, that someone might see her and become alarmed, but anxiety made everything feel like it was moving in slow motion.

A dainty hand grips her elbow and tugs in gently. "Follow me, dear. I can help you."

Aelin's head is swimming, and she allows the calming voice to steer her back in the other direction. When the person pushes open the bathroom door and Aelin sees the navy blue stalls, she rips her arm away and falls to her knees before the porcelain bowl.

Long, slender fingers pull her hair back from her face and rub her shoulders as Aelin loses her breakfast. "You are okay," the voice consoles—a hand massages up her spine and soothes the aches there.

Aelin's whole body is shuddering now. Her stomach rolls over itself, and the muscles of her diaphragm are quaking with exertion. She doubts she could get to her feet if she tried. A strand of drool hangs from her lips, and Aelin would be humiliated if her head wasn't still reeling.

Gouged eyes. Bent fingers. Blood on her lips.

A wad of paper towels appears and dabs at her cheeks, which Aelin hadn't even realized were wet with tears. She failed to notice that her body was shuddering under the intensity of the sobs coming from her. The woman continues to pat her cheeks and nose. Then to her mortification, it swipes at the spit hanging from her mouth.

Mala end me now, she mentally pleads.

Aelin looks up to find a woman with raven hair and onyx eyes looking at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry, dear. I don't mean to overstep. I've been where you are before. Please don't be embarrassed."

Opening her mouth, Aelin makes to apologize, but another crackling sob breaks from her chest instead.

She's just tired. Tired of being sad. Tired of feeling sick. Tired of being unable to even say his name without breaking down.

Arms wrap around Aelin's shoulders and tug her into an embrace. She allows her face to burrow into the woman's blazer as the grief racks through her body.

"Oh, sweety. It's going to be alright. I promise whatever is going on right now will work out." Fingers rake through Aelin's hair soothingly. It turns her to jello in the woman's arms. Her presence was just so motherly in a way that Aelin sorely misses.

She holds Aelin tight until she's calm enough to hold a plastic cup of water without dropping it. The woman helps her stand and wipes the mascara smudges off her cheeks with a damp towel. "There you go," she tosses the towel in the trash when she deems Aelin presentable. "Brand new, again."

"Thank you," Aelin breathes out at last. "I don't even know what to say."

"Say nothing," the woman waves her hand. "I've been pregnant before. Hormones. Nausea. It isn't an easy ride, dear. Besides, no one comes to a police station for a good reason." The woman pulls a stick of gum from a purse sitting on the sink and offers it to her. Aelin accepts it gratefully.

"Has anyone told you that stress isn't good for you?" Her kind eyes bore into Aelin worriedly. "You look very pale."

"I've been told. Many times." Aelin rubs her forehead, an ache already forming there. "I just don't have much of a choice."

"What's your name? I'm Maeve." She smiles and extends a hand for Aelin to shake.

Aelin takes the hand, happy that they aren't trembling so badly. "Aelin."

"Do you have any name ideas for the baby?" Maeve's eyes glance down towards the slight swell of her belly a little wistfully.

Names? Aelin periodically forgot that the human growing inside of her would pop into the world and require such a thing. It was a far-off event where she had plenty of time to accommodate for things in her head. In reality, she was halfway through her fourth month.

Time was ticking.

"No. I don't have any ideas yet." Aelin admits.

Maeve pats Aelin's shoulder kindly. "That's just fine. Ignore my curiosity. You have plenty of time if-" she emphasizes, "you take better care of yourself."

There is a knock on the door. "Aelin, are you alright?"

Rowan.

"Yes. I'll be back in a minute," Aelin says through the door.

She waits until his footsteps echo back down the hallway before she makes towards the exit. Eager to leave the bathroom and the memories of her awkward breakdown with it. "Thanks again. Really. I appreciate it."

Aelin truly meant it despite the utter humiliation she felt.

"Let me walk you back to Rowan's office?" Maeve asked. "It's easy to get turned around in this building."

They walked in a comfortable silence back to the office. Maeve's demeanor is so tranquil it surprises Aelin when the demure woman pushes the door open without knocking. "I have a delivery for you boys."

"Chief?" Rowan stands up, confused.

What? Aelin blinks and turns back to the woman, noting the black and whites and the metal badge on the breast of her blazer. The same blazer Aelin had just cried on.

Blood rushed to her face, and her brain curdles in her skull. Of course, it was the law of Orynth whose arms she just broke down in. Adarlan's Assassin reduced to a ball of hormones clinging to the chief detective of Terrasen like a baby clinging to its mother.

"Has she caused trouble?" Rowan's eyes glint with steel.

If you've done anything to degrade me to my boss, the deal is off.

"Not at all. We ran into each other in the bathroom and had a lovely chat," Maeve brushes an invisible piece of dust from Aelin's shoulder. "I will let the three of you get back to business. You are in excellent company."

Aelin's lip quirks. Just the opposite. She loves me. Congratulations, you are already reaping the benefits of my presence.

"Oh, and Fenrys?" Aelin looks at Fenrys, who is actively ignoring them. "The reports you promised are late. Have them to my desk by the end of the day, please."

"Will do, Chief." Fenrys' reply is dry and lacks his usual pep.

Aelin notes the worried glance Rowan throws him, but he swiftly covers it with an expressionless mask. "I will make sure he gets it done."

What was that? Aelin tries to pry an answer from Rowan, but he avoids her look.

When Maeve leaves, the tension eases from the men's shoulders.

"You are trouble," Rowan tosses at her without venom.

Aelin picks up the cup of tea she left at his desk, glad it's still warm. "Yes, but only the best kind."

"We haven't laid out a single plan for weaseling out Arobynn," Fenrys makes an irritated face at them. "If either of you could focus for ten minutes, we can do the rest of the questioning later, but we need to start throwing out ideas."

"Did Rowan piss in your tea in the last ten minutes I was gone?" Aelin shoots back, not appreciating his sudden attitude.

"Thirty," Rowan says. "You were gone for thirty minutes. That's why I came looking for you. Also, ruining beverages is your thing, not mine."

Damn, had she been gone that long? A glance at the clock confirms he was correct.

When she turns back to Rowan, there is almost something like worry in his eyes? That couldn't be right, Aelin rubs that aching side of her head again. She needed to stop reading so deeply into things.

"We can continue with questioning later," Rowan announces. "Fenrys is correct in saying we need to start making plans. You've given us enough to work with for now."

They sat back in their chairs, pulled out more notepads, red pens, and sticky notes. Together, Aelin helped them form a list of potential places Arobynn would be laying low. Hotels, rental homes, and vacant manors. He had a taste for luxury Aelin knew he wouldn't sacrifice for anonymity.

Test results were still running on the Synth. Technicians had let them know it showed highly abnormal properties compared to average street drugs, and they promised to send them an extensive report when they were through.

Rowan had hushed any potential news stories about The Stag shooting. He didn't want anyone who may know Celaena to catch wind and start snooping around. Aelin was his best lead, which afforded her a certain level of discretion he acknowledged.

They didn't know about the Bane patrolling her block at night, keeping their eyes on the streets for unusual activity.

The clock ticked, and the light beaming through the winders grew warmer as the afternoon trickled away. It was nearly five o'clock when Rowan declared then done for the day, and Aelin was utterly exhausted.

"Come on," Fenrys offered her a hand to help her stand. "I can drive you by the prison. Aedion should be getting checked out as we speak."

"Thank you," Aelin accepts the help. Her feet ached, and she felt entirely drained. It was good Fenrys was offering a ride, or she'd have to call Dorian to come and get her.

Together, the three of them made their way to the parking lot. Conversation between them was sparse but not unpleasant. They'd fallen into a rhythm at some point while working together. It helped break up some of the awkwardness between her and Rowan.

Aelin hustled a little bit when she spotted Fenry's luxury car. She wanted to claim the front seat before Rowan did. Her gut couldn't handle the stress of riding the back.

Her fingers barely grazed the polished handle when Fenrys started yelling.

Arms wrapped around her waist, and Aelin's face throbbed as it found itself slammed into the asphalt. A loud explosion rattled her ears, and chunks of debris went flying through the air. A thick foggy smoke started filling the air, and she immediately started choking on it.

A dense weight lifts off her back, and hands grab her shoulders, rolling her body to face the clouded sky instead of the ground. Rowan is in her personal space immediately. He's speaking to her, but no sound is penetrating the ringing in her ears.

His hands are running along her arms, the side of her face, checking for injury. Aelin tries to ask him if he's alright, but he doesn't seem able to hear her either.

Suddenly, Fenrys is there, and he's grabbing them both by the arms. They are moving away at a sprint. Fenrys is yelling, but the smoke is stinging her eyes, and even seeing is becoming hard.

There is another explosion, and Aelin can feel the tremors beneath the soles of her shoes as the three of them hit the ground once more.

People are pouring out of the precinct. Aelin spies Cheif Maeve at the front of them, ordering people out of the building. Red and blue lights reflect off the smoke, and she knows that ambulances must be on their way.

Rowan is lying beside her. She hadn't noticed the rips in the back of his suit jacket at first, but there were long gouges in the material, and smoke wafted off a couple of scorch marks. The fact he'd thrown himself over her body and shielded her from the explosion was only starting to register when something warm squeezed her hand.

Are you okay? Green eyes were scouring her body for wounds.

I'm fine, Aelin assures him. She's more concerned about the spots on the back of his suit growing wet as he bled.

"Someone blew up my car," Fenrys is gaping at the spot where his vintage ride used to be. All that remained was a roughed-up frame that was lit ablaze like a campfire.

"Gods," Aelin breathed out, the ringing in her ears dying down. "I almost died."

Rowan hadn't let go of her hand and made no move to do so as his eyes fixed on the burning car. "That was meant for us."

He didn't have to elaborate for Aelin to understand. Whoever had placed the bomb hadn't been targeting her, but Rowan and Fenrys. They arrived and left work together. The bomb wasn't there when they got to the precinct this morning, so someone must have placed it while they were inside.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Fenrys runs a dirty hand through his hair.

Sirens wailed as paramedics filed into the parking lot. Other detectives and officers were starting to approach them. Firefighters approached the car with extinguishers and began to tame the burning fire.

Aelin didn't have an answer. Just the sinking feeling that the game they'd entered into had more players than she'd thought.

Here is part one of the mass updates! Thank you SO much for reading. I’ve gotten so much feedback and love on this fic it’s been so wonderful 💚

I do have an ✨IMPORTANT QUESTION✨

Would you all prefer I have tag lists specific to certain fics or an overall tag list for ships? So one tag list for all of my rowaelin fics, one for all my quinlar fics, or would you like me to keep it as I have been? Please let me know! ✨

Tag list- Let me know if you would like to be added or removed. :D ( names in bold won’t tag)

@thisismylibrary

@highladywhitethrone

@bee55

@royalsqueeze

@rowaelin-cressworth

@booknerdproblems

@sjmships

@ladyfireheart-and-buzzard

@wordsxstars

@rowaelinismyotp

@courtofjurdan

@emmiesbook

@killian-me-slowly

@miserablemusings

@aelinchocolatelover

@booksbqueen

@flamingveritas

@tomtenadia

@fromthelibraryofemilyj

@loudphantomdragon

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato

@superspiritfestival

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@nish247

@vasudharaghavan

@maybekindasortaace

@mariamuses

@frosted-crackers

@foughtconquered

@live-the-fangirl-life

@ghostlyrose2

#coffeeshopau #rowaelin #throne of glass #angst #aelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn

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infectedpaul · 3 years

Text

You Matter To Me (Squip/Reader)

You've had your Squip for a bit now and it's been fine for the most part, until he brings up the idea of looking into romantic relationships with others which opens up a lot of wounds you wanted to just bury deep and forget about. But you can't begin the road to recovery without asking why you got there, right?

SO IVE NEVER....WRITTEN AN X READER B4 UGH HJKSAJDASKDJSA esp not for a near dead fandom OH WELL oh well oh well h ignore this my normal followers please please

(warning 4 talks of depression/self degrading talk, its hurt comfort yada yada i need 2 touch grass ik)

ao3 link if u prefer that!!

You weren't made for love, at least, you didn't think so.

For as long as you'd been looking for it, it was always so out of reach. Easily visible, sure. Walking past groups of friends laughing it up on the sidewalks, partners entangled in each other's arms, seemingly trying to make their love known for all. But for you to have any of that for yourself? The heat death of the universe would sooner come, surely.

You'd sort of given up on it. It would be nice, you'd think. To be held, wrapped up in someone's arms, and just to stay there for as long as either of you could want. That cozy, warm feeling of being with someone that you only saw in movies or read about in books. But you had just accepted it wasn't in the cards, so to speak. And you were fine with that.

Well, you told yourself anyway. You knew it was for a deeper reason, though, but that wasn't something you liked to think about too heavily.

It was easier to do that when you didn't have a roommate that could dig into your brain and pry every little detail about them out of you.

When you got your Squip, you didn't know it'd be so adamant about perfecting every little last thing you were. How long or short your hair was styled, if your shoes matched your eyes, how fast or slow you were walking and how too brisk would make you seem like you were constipated but too slow and your likelihood of getting run over by a horse-drawn carriage gone would go up much higher, nevermind that you've never even seen a horse in real life.

What you did know, by now at least was that the Squip was persistent, seeing himself as your guardian angel, a guiding light in your desolate dark world of humanity, ickiness and week old pizza boxes you were too unmotivated to at least move off the bed.

So when his ideal response wasn't given when he proposed seeking out a lovelife, he was...well,

"I'm not sure I understand." His head crooked to the side, puzzled by your surface level indifference, "You're of consenting age, marginally attractive and only slightly under average at socializing. Finding a mate can't be too hard."

His holographic form hummed a soft, near silent buzz, a small imperfection to his otherwise flawless binary makeup. Other than that, and the soft, tinted blue glow around his form, he looked completely human. A little too human, really. Something so real, realer than any CG or video game, but something was just...off, something from the uncanny valley. You hadn't kept him in this form long, you liked to change it up from time to time, maybe to trick yourself into thinking he was someone new, making your brain think you had more friends besides the computer you bought behind a Rack Room.

You didn't look at him though when you responded, too preoccupied with the paper in front of you, decorated with a few characters concocted from your imagination. "I dunno," you shrug, brushing off eraser marks, "Just not my thing, I guess." You could feel his confusion, a bit of gut feeling as his thoughts jumbled in with your own. He was really only in your brain, afterall; the figure behind you sitting on your bed was just something he made up to ease your brain into trusting a new, larger source of perpetually growing information. "But, the purpose of this time in your life is to mate and birth young, is it not?"

You really wished he'd learn to stop talking about you and 'the homo sapien species' like you were a mindless ape made to breed and nothing else.

"Uh, I mean not really. I know that's what everyone around me is doing," Your mind thought back to all the cringey baby announcement videos from kids you knew in high school, "But it's...I guess I'm just not up for it. It's not really for people like me."

He was quiet. Only for a second, before he asked,

"People like you?" Another silence hung in the air. It was a truth you knew he could easily just reach into your brain and find for himself so you kept quiet for a bit longer, waiting for him to start digging. But you didn't feel it, that very familiar sudden ache in the back of your head you got when he went poking around for more things to nag at you about. Just quiet in your room, only the soft buzz and birds tweeting outside your window any solace from the uncomfortable silence you felt.

You shrugged again, and turned to face him, seeing now the muddled and a little concerned look on his face. "You know? The quiet ones, the losers. People like me don't get to be loved. I've just accepted that." You could have said a lot worse, and it seemed like he knew that. You didn't really understand, either. You didn't like yourself, plain and simple.

His concern only seemed to grow, eyebrows furrowing and staring intently at you. You thought for a second, maybe it was anger. It wouldn't be the first time. You were mostly compliant to his (mandatory) suggestions for life improvement, but every once in a while he would propose an idea that you would fight about, like clothes you weren't comfortable wearing for one reason or another. He said he was a learning computer, so he would need your help on things like emotions and comfiness, physical or mental, ruling out whatever the newest trends were. He would be fine afterwards but, he could get pretty huffy about you trying on too skinny-skinny jeans.

But that didn't happen, there wasn't a small but fierce jolt of electricity in your back to stop you from going against 'social programming', as he called it. He just looked at you a bit longer, seemingly turning gears in his head as he tried to process what you're saying.

You gave him a sober smile, trying to still seem indifferent, though for a second you wondered maybe if he was still prying at you, in a different way at least, because if he was, it seemed to be working.

"What? I'm just not that special. You of all people know that, right?" It was almost like you weren't hearing what was coming out of your mouth, that casual self-degradation that almost frightened him. You heard stories from message boards about that, older models of the Squip forcing reprogramming onto the host by breaking down their emotional state with verbal or physical punishment for...just existing, really.

He wasn't really like that though. Yes he could be annoyed when you didn't comply, but you were both good at compromise and treated situations like adults, even if at first you weren't much motivated to treat any situation at all. He informed you while you were looking through those boards that his creators had taken in accounts of previous incidents and built more of a guide to self-improvement than a ball and chain with a backhand. Humans were fragile, he knew that, and it wasn't okay to hurt them just to get a little closer to their goal.

But maybe, did he not think that humans were more than capable of hurting themselves? Their own words used against them, their internal voices bashing against their brains, turning them to mush and making them too scared or unmotivated to build it back up again.

"I just know no one would love some useless, pitiful person...I just kinda got over that a while ago." You almost frightened him with how nonchalant you were about the whole thing. It wasn't intentional, you weren't trying to seek attention or be funny. You just knew there was plenty of other people out there worthy of all that lovey-dovey stuff you thought would be nice but...it's just not meant for you.

There was a knot in his voice as he finally spoke up,

"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" The last piece of the puzzle had finally clicked into place, but he didn't look satisfied, not that cheeky, self-centered chagrin when things went his way or when he was proven right yet again.

You thought he knew that. You thought from day one he just figured that out and that's why he's been trying so hard to make you into a model citizen or something. "Did you just think you were here to help me pick out clothes in the morning?" You laughed, he seemed to know it was forced.

"Well...y-yes, maybe. I just...I never looked into that possibility of…" He was regaining his composure; this was a side you've never seen of him before. He's always been so astute, robotic and to the point. He's never fumbled over his words or had to give himself a second to figure out what to say next.

"How long has it been like this, Y/N?" His hands were folded neatly on his lap, still looking you dead-on, waiting for you to answer his distressed queuerie with worried patience.

You got up out of your chair, pushing it back and behind you to step away from the table and your drawings. "I dunno," you said, taking a few steps towards the long mirror hung on your wall, "for as long as I can remember, I guess." You looked at your reflection, only tired, dark eyes looking back at you. Even though the edge of the bed was visible in the mirror, your Squip didn't show up in it, another reminder of just how alone you were outside of your head.

"I just started to feel like I didn't belong more and more and...that ate me up so much I just started believing in it. I-I didn't wanna go to school or talk to people or even get up 'cause...well," You turned away from the mirror before you could see the tears you'd been holding back, looking at the more distressed figure in view of you again, "what would anyone be missing, really?" You still smiled, that big smile you both worked so meticulously on making seem not too forced when you had to act excited or just blend into normal social gatherings, but it wavered so easily, like a thin strip of paper about to tear off the nail that barely held it up on the wall.

His eyes widened at the sight of your tears, immediately getting up and briskly walking to stand in front of you, not knowing how to proceed in the moment. He hadn't had to deal with something like this yet and he was troubleshooting to see what was the correct response to a human breakdown.

You looked down, covering your eyes with one hand and clenching the other into a fist, big, strained smile still plastered on your face and trying so hard not to seem more weak than you knew you were. You were nothing. You knew that, you thought he did too. You thought you could just fix things, but how could you do that without getting to the source? You knew you couldn't just sidestep around why you wanted things to get better with humans, but with a computer who could read your brain like the newspaper, you thought maybe you could get around that.

You heard him sigh before a feeling of arms wrapping around you caught you off guard, the Squip entangling you in his grasp and his head resting on yours. It was all simulated, you knew. He had done things such as lightly punch your arm as if to say 'Good job, Sport!' or tap your shoulder to grab your attention without startling you, but this was different. He held onto you for a good couple of seconds, a wave of warmth spreading through your body in an instant. He pet back your hair with one hand, rubbing your back with the other and finally broke the silence in the room.

"Y/N, it- ...it pains me, hearing you speak that way about yourself. You're…" He looked down at you, holding you a bit closer and tightening his grip just a tad. "You're an incredible, talented, wonderful person. You've come so far and you've taught me so much about humans and myself and I just couldn't ask for a better-" He stopped. You knew what he was going to say, a better host, a better human, a better assignment to help and guide and-

"A better friend."

A friend?

He never referred to you or anyone with such a personal or affectionate term. It almost didn't seem real, like you maybe misheard him. Your smile had shattered into a small frown and, with teary-eyes and your voice already cracking, you looked up at him, meeting his almost-heartbroken eyes in an expression that looked so foreign on his normally composed face.

"What?"

He gave a weak smile, trying to be comforting but his fear showing plain as day. You could feel it within you too, a pit in your stomach forming as your chest tightened. You knew it wasn't your anxiety, but his.

"Do I need to repeat myself, Y/N? I think of you as a friend and..." His hand moved off of your back and ran itself up to rest on your shoulder, the other holding your cheek and wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I want to do all I can to show you that from here on."

You almost couldn't breathe as you looked at him, feeling for the first time that unconditional love you yearned for. You could feel your heart race in your chest, something you knew he could feel too but you were too crushed to say anything. You simply slammed yourself into his chest, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt that made your hands tingle like they fell asleep. His arms enveloped you yet again, the both of you holding onto each other so tight like either of you would fall through the floor if you let go.

You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours, and, just maybe, you thought you could hear him crying too, but that'd be silly...right?

When you were finally out of tears to cry, you stood there still, simply bathing in each other's presence, the feeling you only saw in others finally yours. And you knew it was only a matter of time before this too was stolen from you, the universe would take back anything from people unworthy but...for right now, you wanted to be a little selfish.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, face still buried in his shirt.

"For?" His head was rested on yours again, holding up your weak and tired form with no effort, just trying to keep you propped up until you were ready to let go.

"I got you to help me but...I can't even let you in like I'm supposed to. But...I want to. I just want help." You pushed yourself off of him, one thought between you and him and his hands meeting yours, the simulated tingle in there again as you held each other's palms in yours and looked at each other with such exhausted eyes and worn-out but so genuine smiles.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on your forehead, a soft hue of pink blush spreading on your drained and exhausted face.

"I'd love to help, friend."

#dex says things #THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE FLDSJFKLDSFDS #THE WORST PART IS IM PROUD OF THIS UGH #be more chill #the squip #squip x reader #my writing #ITS 530 AM UGH

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