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wench-and-jezebel · 9 months

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Red, White, and Royal Blue Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) and Wench (@scripted-downfall) react

J: Whooooop whooooop!

W: And now we begin the film that has had my react partner cheating on me for a week I mean what

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ No, no, is true. This has been my whole personality

W: Believe me, I'm aware

– – –

J: Not Alex “yucking her yum” over this wedding

W: Translation: "I'm smitten, Nora, dear, and utterly annoyed about it"

J: Bea!!

J: Alex buddy just say you have a crush

W: To be fair, his criticisms aren't like they were in the book. They're not ugh he's too perfect and gently chivalrous and I must poke anymore :(

J: Buddy #2 just say you have a crush

W: Bruh, what was that greeting, Alex?

J: Oh, boy. Oh, this will go well!

W: I'm preemptively cringing over this cake and what is about to happen

J: Right?

J: Men and their obsession with height

W: Henry looks so shell-shocked

J: Yes Alex that’s helping. Let’s just keep smearing it around 🤣🤣

W: Bruh, I hate Philip already

J: Right!?!

W: What would my family say if they knew I was watching this rn

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: That is also on the topic of bad reputations... as mine would be shot

J: Zahraaa

W: SARAH SHAHI, MY BELOVED

J: I have been trying to not think of it being connected to the book ☠️☠️ cause I know they’re gonna change stuff

W: lkasjdf not gallons of tea

J: I love Uma Thurman

W: White House pillow fights, hell yeah!

J: I LOVE ZAHRA

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ ZAHRA you’ll regret saying sending Alex over soon, ma’am

W: Alex is gonna change his mind about David the dog real fast

J: “He is super cute” Ahh I love him

W: SHAAN! alksjdf;lkasjfd I love him

J: Oh god ☠️☠️ Henry: let me show him how cool I am! Zoom zoom

W: Brings out the good ol' Aston Martin

J: That smirk when he says "your wearing lifts"

W: You know. When I envisioned that scene, I assumed they were. actually competent at faking affection

W: … Once again. Once again. I thought they were supposed to be good at this.

J: ☠️☠️☠️ Whaaaat? You can’t tell they are so totally frien-

W: This poor man dealing with Alex's b.s.

J: "White blonde and British"?? What?!

W: BARBARA STREISAND? NOT BABS!!!

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: Henry looks so scandalized

J: Oooop!

W: THE CLOSET SCENE

W: Bruh, they're starting the complimenting already

J: Ahhh I keep typing then getting distracted

W: I adore Henry, just btw. He's my chosen character in this

J: 😂😂😂

W: Despite the aesthetics, he's the burnt marshmallow, actually

J: Amyyyyy

W: It’s sad that they cut the Star Wars conversation

J: I knowww

W: "People kill to get into my New Year's party!" "That's perfect: they can kill me so I don't have to go!" I love it

J: Oooop!

J: Well he’s already gone for Alex

W: HEY, WAIT, I LOVE HIM! Clifton Collins, Jr.

J: Ooop 👀👀

W: My dude is flirting

J: Ooooop x2

W: Is this Liam, you think?

J: He said Miguel

W: I know. But there was no Miguel in the book. I'm saying, do you think he's standing in for Liam

J: Oh you mean just like supposed to be- yeah seems like it

J: Buddy using emoticons

W: alskdjf;laskjdflaksjdflkajdsf Those aren't emoticons; they're like. stickers, or whatever

J: Or no it’s Bitmojis! ☠️

W: I still love the "But we were ever so careful, dear" line. One of my favourites

J: I knowww lol

W: DORIAN GRAY IS SO GOOD

J: ☠️☠️☠️

W: NO, NOT HIM DISSOLVING INTO BUTTERFLIES! I'm going to cry in Hua-Cheng-coding

J: You mean the scene changing?

W: The butterflies

J: Oh!!

W: You'll figure it out when you finish the books.

J: Soooooon!!

J: Not the Turkey ☠️

(begin flashback to Wench's Discord conversation/reaction to RWaRB, the book!)

– – –

W: The turkeys ☠️ wtf are they being pardoned for??? I'm so confused

J: You didn’t know about this!?!?

W: No??

J: It’s a stupid af tradition the president pardons a Turkey on thanksgiving

W: ... wot. Why?

J: I have no idea

W: I'm looking this up *pulls up Wikipedia* *reads for five minutes* OH MY GOD THERE WAS A WHOLE RIVALRY

J: lol

W: This is actually really funny... not so much the pardoning bits, but what started it all. Basically, this dude Horace Vose started presenting dressed turkeys to the president , until some other dude decided that his turkey tasted better than Vose's and presented his own turkey instead. The prez then started receiving turkeys from literally EVERYONE, and this escalated to the point that Coolidge banned the practice... And then, the second he lifted it again, was flooded by turkeys, as well as an array of other animals, including a live racoon named Rebecca. Coolidge refused to eat her and named her a White House pet)

W: Okay, back to reading

Present-day W: (or, rather, watching!)

– – –

J: This scene is cute

W: Hey look, it's our dynamic! "What's x" "Look it up"

J: ☠️☠️☠️ ANYWAY. THIS IS CUTEEE

W: Man is a liar

J: that was the yesest nope ever

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: “They wouldn’t [like him better] if they knew him” Liar x2

J: Right?! 😂

W: Henry is about to gay panic for three hours straight

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ poor buddy!’

W: Fellas, is it gay to stare at your best-bro-pal-buddy's lips wrapped around a bottle?

J: I knowwwww

W: I love that the tie isn’t grey

J: PEZ

W: HELL YEAH

J: Ohhhhhhoooopp

W: Poor Henry looks so awkward when she sits on Alex

J: Oh god the flashbacks of school dances

W: I never went to any, so I am immune

J: OH GOD NOW THISSSS IS A FLASHBACK TO HS! THIS DAMN SOMG

W: This poor man

J: ☠️☠️☠️ hennnryyyyy

W: Poor Henry

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: Henry is legit me idk what you mean. Pop culture? Never heard of her? Dancing? Does English country dancing suffice? Non-80s-era pop music? What's that?

J: Here, yes, that's true... I still maintain Alex reminds me of you, though! Not to a T. Just qualities

W: You've still yet to point out... where. Or how. I still don't see it; you need to hurry up and explain

J: Like the over working himself

W: That's not exactly unique to him tho

J: I’ll explain after

W: Ugh, fineeee. Probably best; I’m getting behind on the transcript

J: Same! My brains can only do so much at once lol

J: Oh god Henry’s little smileee and then oooop 🥺 (And by little I mean it WAS covering his whole damn face)

W: I knowwwww

J: OPPPOPPPOOOPP

W: wtf was that, Jezebel?

J: Shut up

J: 👀👀👀👀👀 Henryyy 🥺🥺

W: Alex -> “Who would you be, if you were an anonymous person in the world" Henry-> "Gay"

J: ☠️

W: Sorry, I had to

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ You should be sorry, I ficking almsot choked

J: ahhhhhhh

W: Man's boutta bolt so quickly

J: AGHHHHHH

W: Oof, or not, actually. That was decidedly not bolting. Alex had all the opportunity

J: 😂😂

W: And now Alex shall ghost him for a month while they're both gay panicking

W: OH THAT'S NOT FAIR! HE DOESN'T GET TO TEXT "ARE YOU ALIVE?" AFTER I JUST SAID HE WASN'T ME

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Hahahahahaha! Thank you movie Alex

W: Shut up

J: 😂😂 oh shut up Nora you did not

W: She is exquisite

J: She is!!

W: What. tf. was that football vs. rugby thing

J: ☠️☠️☠️ Wot? Does that even mean??

J: Buddy you really ARE as thick as it gets

W: Yeahhhhh

J: Oooop

W: Okay, guess Liam and Miguel are different

W: lasdjflksajdf I love you, Nora

J: ☠️☠️☠️

J: Oh. Boy. 👀 Guess we will see how spicy these two are gonna get

W: Shush shush

J: Cause I ain’t heard a single f bomb yet ☠️

W: alksjdflkajsf that's very true

J: Buddy is zoned out Miguel you’re talking to a wall

W: I love Amy

J: 😂😂😂 Amy!

W: Buddy. Calm tf down. aksdjflkasjdflksajf You posing is not that significant

J: “I don’t know what to do with my hand”

W: "How can I look most James Bond?"

J: 👀

W: THE GENTLENESS OF HIS ARM GESTURE TO BREAK ALEX'S HOLD!!! DID YOU SEE THAT

J: I ddddidddd

W: Poor Amy

W: HENRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

J: HENRY WHAT ARE YOU DOINF

W: alskdjf;lkasdjf

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: Poor Henry

J: Actually, they may be on the floor again… eventually

W: alksjdflkajfds

J: Oh god ☠️☠️☠️

W: Poor Henry aldskjflaksjfd

W: I wish they hadn't cut out the God Save the Queen thing

J: I knowww

W: Oop, hello Henry

J: I feel like I being a damn peeping Tom rn

W: Henry heard "love at first sight" and went BET

J: 👀👀👀

W: That. was not that explicit

J: Fair

W: That was addressing the rating thing, not you 🙄

J: Im starting to lose my optimism

J: “I’m bisexual” Oh. Oh really? You are? You don’t say ☠️

W: I love Henry. And his maypole comment

J: Henry should have been like well I’m straight and sat back while Alex imploded

W: alksjdflkasjf yeahhhh! "Best bro besties do this all the time"

J: Mhmmm yep for sure

W: Which, tbf, Alex full-on thought, so

J: ☠️☠️

J: THAT LOOK ☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: I'm finally caught up on the transcript 😭

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Oh noooo

W: See, I told you they'd be montages!

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ "How many names do you have?"

W: Oh, not many... Just five

W: I take it back… Make that six

W: SIR

J: ☠️☠️☠️

W: HENRY! THAT! LAKSJDF;LKASJDF

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ And the smug smirk after

W: Damn, homophobic grandfather instead of homophobic grandmother

W: Ooh, Alex, buddy, dealing with having a family like Henry's ain't that easy ngl

J: Yeahhhhh, that was very you-coded (Henry I mean)

W: Haha, let's go, expert-chameleons-in-a-homophobic-family squad

J: Budd- Ooop

J: Back to what I was saying... buddies that windows open

W: This is as bad as those spy/assassination movies where the target stands in front of the window

J: Right!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

W: Also, in the book, we did know they got a fuzzy photo at some point. With a long-range camera. Maybe that's this

J: Trueee

W: Okay, ig this is the true measure of the rating

J: Welp

W: The key 😭

J: With the key on!?

W: Oi, shush shush

J: 👀

J: 👀👀👀👀👀

J: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

W: You good?

J: *no answer*

W: NOW!?!?! YOU'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION NOW?!!?!?

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: Y'all this. This ain't that explicit. Definitely not worth an R-rating

J: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Tis true!

W: Cas-coded

J: ☠️☠️ Spn can be found anywhere

W: I'm getting cereal, but don't pause; I'm bringing it with me

J: Ok lol

W: You and your fucking lols

J: L

J: I

W: lkj;lkja;lskfj;lsakdfjasdf THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY

J: I quit

W: You really thought you were doing something

J: My phone is just against me

W: alskdjfalksdjf

J: ☠️☠️☠️

W: Does June not exist? I'm starting to think she doesn't. She wasn't in the photo session earlier either

J: I knowwww

W: Luna's not shown up either. Unless that's who Miguel's supposed to be

J: And his parents are together

W: They're also not div- yeah

W: He will love it... until he gets fired ☠️

J: Eww rude

W: Ugh, I cannot believe I'm saying this about a Jane Austen story*, but that — “It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.” — is a good quote

(*For those not Jezebel, despite being grudgingly somewhat fond of Jane Austen, I also was made to read her stories too many times and now also have a quiet grudge against her/her stories. And I loathe the 2005 Pride & Prejudice story, just on its own merit. Colin Firth/Jennifer Ehle miniseries forever <3)

J: 🤣🤣🤣

W: This poor dude

W: OOP

J: Uh oh. I think Miguel IS gonna BE Luna or be the leak

W: Skullduggery ❤️ (Kinda gives vibes of the Doctor Who conversation about, what was it... "With a little bit of jiggery-pokery." "Is that a technical term, jiggery-pokery?" "Yeah, I came first in jiggery-pokery. What about you?" "No, I failed hullabaloo.")

J: This’ll be interesting

J: Oh poor buddy 😂 “once, unsuccessfully”

W: Was that about the cooking comment or the Grindr comment?

J: Yes. Also, call me uncultured I haven’t seen that film either

J: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

W: Oh no

J: Uh oh 🤣🤣🤣

W: NO! NO ONE IN THIS HERE HOTEL ROOM AT ALL

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: Zahra! Don't make assumptions! Tsk tsk! The "she" is a he, and also hiding in the closet! (I meant that literally, as they do have a habit of that happening, but it also turns out to be figurative too)

J: "It’s all chill"

W: Technically. They each already had an NDA

J: And now Zahra shall pass the fuck away ☠️

W: laskdf;lkajsdf Henry did not fucking pose ☠️

J: Poor thing! Does not get paid enough

W: alksdjflaksdjflaksdjf

J: “Oh god”

W: I love them 😭 Mid-tense-conversation and they're gabbing! "And I told my sister!" "Oh?! I didn't know that!" "Yeah, she was really happy for us!"

J: IT WAS SO ADORABLE

W: "Technically, I'm the spare" 😭 😭

W: ZAHRA MA'AM

J: WHAT!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Not "fuckleroy"

J: I said the same Zahra! 🤣🤣

J: Nooooo 🤣🤣

W: This poor woman did not know what she was getting into when she had this kid

J: I love herrr ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

W: WHERE'S THE POWERPOINT :(

W: NEVER MIND AT LEAST SHE MENTIONED IT

J: Oh god. Oh no. OH NO ☠️☠️☠️

W: MA'AM PLEASE STOP GOING INTO THAT MUCH DETAIL

J: As a mom I get the concern but still ☠️☠️☠️

W: That's fair

J: I love his dad!

W: Yesss

W: Oh no

W: Is Henry wearing Alex's hat?

J: Yes

W: alsdkfja;lkdsfja;lksfdj

J: Oh my 😂😂😂😂😂

W: HEY, THAT'S NOT THAT BAD SINGING?!?!

J: Right?

W: I thought they said he butchered the karaoke

J: Right!?!

J: Oooop that was the damn I’ve done caught the feelings look

W: Yes it was

W: His dad again alsdkjfalksdjf

W: Ooh, supportive father moments! Couldn’t be me

J: 🥺🥺🥺

W: You know what's coming btw right

J: Yeah. Yeah I do. Shut up

J: And oh no that was cute

W: I KNOW

J: AND OH NO THAT WAS CUTE TOO

W: asldkfjalskfdj

J: Oh my gif he’s a vampire

J: *God

W: Gifs are your gods, to be fair

J: That is- Lol

J: That’s true tho

J: Anyway, he’s sparkling ☠️☠️☠️

W: That's called water

J: I know 😂 but he looked like twilight

W: I know, dumbass, 'twas a joke

J: And that’s Henry’s oh no he’s caught the feelings look

W: Yeppp, poor buddy

J: Oh nooooo! Buddy

J: Welp imma just go drown myself now

W: Oof, not even a pretense of it being bugs

J: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

W: hahahha- I'm fine

J: He’s not

W: Nor am I, really

J: 😭😭😭😭😭 Same

W: DAVID

J: Davidddd

J: 😭😭😭😭😭

W: This poor man

J: Pooor budddyyy

J: Nora ☠️☠️☠️ I’m sorry but that look, I died

W: Alex really is fucking thick, I'm sorry

J: ☠️☠️☠️

W: I say this affectionately, but dumbo… wtf

J: Oooo! OH THE FEELINGNIN THAY

W: What

J: OH THE FEELING IN THAT

W: Oh alskdjf

J: The acting I mean. But also oooop an f bomb! One more and there’s the R rating ☠️☠️☠️

W: Neither of us commented during that scene because all we'd say is: ouch

J: ! :) That. Was. Anyway

J: Hey! You know what

W: ?

J: You know what song would fit this? Or them?

W: If you say. That fucking song again.

J: 😂😂😂 And good omens honestly

W: Wait, was it the one I meant?

J: 🙂

W: "Unchained Melody"?

J: Unchained Melody

W: Yeha

W: *yeah

W: No, actually, embrace the cowboy. Yeehaw

J: I was about to say that (but oh my god my phone is pissssssing me offfff)

J: Oh mah god! I love this song

W: alskdjf I don't like this version tho

J: Sameee

J: What’s that statue doing in the background

W: About what Crowley's does, probably.

J: This is so soft thooooo ☠️☠️☠️

J: AWWWWWWWW

W: aksdjflsakfdj His history would include him and be like "this man was Henry's best friend and they lived together and snogged at times and weren't they such good friends!?!?!"

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

J: Buddy has a death grip on him

W: Okay, not to bring in GOmens but the signet ring is giving me Azi vibes

J: LOL! BUT THAAAAA RING

W: WHAT?!!? THE KEY IS JUST- WHAT

J: Ngl I like the exchange better than just him adding the ring

W: I don’t!!! I liked the "two homes, side-by-side" thing 😭

J: Yeah that’s true!

W: Uh oh

J: Oh no

W: The emails went out on fucking REDDIT!?!? Awkward

J: Ack! But also the slow panic on his face

J: Oooop buddy got angry

W: OOF

J: His "CONTACTS"

W: 'snort' Sure. Is that what we're calling fiancées these days

J: 😂😂😂😂

W: BRUH, MIGUEL YOU ASSHOLE

J: LE GASP! ugh and his little smug look

W: Miguel can fuck off

J: Right!?

J: Buddyyyyyy 🥺🥺🥺🥺

W: Wait, they didn't even get to talk before the speech?! That sucks

W: Ooh, fuck yeah! ALEX USED HENRY'S PROPER TITLE AND FULL NAME AND SHIT

J: 😭😭😭😭😭

W: I love Zahra btw

J: ZAHGGHHTAAAA

W: Wtf was that?! Also, this is basically her character in Person of Interest and Life, btw

J: 😂😂😂

J: Her face 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

W: Poor woman

J: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Im dying

W: Having to sit here like Black Water and listen to rants about Xie Lian, but RWRB universe

J: OOP!

W: She just spilled so much

J: The wheels are turning for Alex

W: Holy shit, he's so thick

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ BABBYYYYY

W: OH SHIT THE LOOK

J: AHHH

J: OOOOP HES WEARING THE RING

W: On the fucking stairs alkdsfj

J: that looook! We haven’t got enough time with them. We’ve been robbed

J: Ah yes. This is something I guess you do when you are in an American/British relationship

W: asldkfjalskdjfasdflkj What's the this?

J: I swear I thought he was playing heart and soul but I meant playing together in general

W: … no. The subtitles even outright said "My Country, 'Tis of Thee"

J: I don’t have subtitles on ☠️

W: That sounds like a you problem

J: Ack! Fuck offf Philip

W: Can I slap him?

J: Please do

W: I miss Bea's rebellion tho

J: SAMEEEE

W: Oof

J: SHUT UP PHILIP

W: I KNOW! I think he might have a heart attack if he read them though

J: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

W: OOF

J: Oh sir ewwww you read them??? he's your grandsonnnnn

J: Ew x2

W: OOF x2

J: Bbabandbecause! I said so

W: Man can't even make a complete sentence

J: I have given up trying to type on this phone

W: To be fair, that was basically how he said it

W: WHAT WAS THAT PRONUNCIATION

J: "TAKE THE AMERICAN WITH YOU"

W: alsdkjf

J: Bby you are supported 😭😭😭

W: Oop, damn

J: Suck on that Philip

W: Hey, grandfather dude, you lost the right to call him "my boy" a while ago, btw

J: Ahhhhh 🙂 😁

W: "Crikey, that's a lot of red" I love him

J: 😂😂😂😂

W: Henry's kidnapping him

J: 😂😂😂

W: Henry!??! This mannnnn! I love him

J: AHHH! Love him!!

W: Henry looks so awkward on stage🙄 I love him, but like. He did

J: 😂😂😂 Poor budddy

W: Are you going to say anything other than cry-laugh emojis in the next half of the react?

J: Probably not 😂😂😂😂😂

W: Bruh, Alex didn't even have to ask… I guarantee Henry has been wearing that key religiously

J: 😂😂😂😂😂

W: Not speaking from experience or anything but-

J: Mhhmmm 🙂 so you-coded!

W: ... That's still me-as-Henry??? I'm missing the Alex parallels

J: I know!

W: You're infuriating

W: HENRY

J: YOU HAVE TO READ HENRYS CHAPTERRRRR! It’s like a what happens next

W: I liked Luna better than Miguel, tbh. I know they probably couldn't fit it, but still

J: Yeah! Im so easy to please I just loved it sm idec about what was changed! BUT I do wish it had been a mini series

W: Weirdo. Imagine being easy to please

W: There's an end-credit scene… Fast-forward to it

J: “Do you think anyone noticed” ☠️☠️☠️

J: I hadn’t reread the book yet but I’m going to now ☠️☠️☠️

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #reactions #movie reactions #jezebel (pr)#wench (pr)

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: The Challenge

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Now with BONUS: meta analysis :) (But Wench might post that separately later too... she hasn't decided)

[Oh, no, a prisoner transfer! That always goes badly; just ask CTU (from 24)]

Well shit

Well…. SHIT THIS MAN A BEAST [Yup!]

“Stay out of this, damn you” Let us get our asses kicked by one man.. on our own [Red Guards be prideful dumbasses]

Wot? WOT?! WHAT!?! [Tenth Doctor-coded, you are] ☠️☠️☠️ [But also, agreed. They explicitly warned the Red Guard. And then tried to help. Not their fault the RG didn't listen 💀] Right!?!

No one asked you, man child

WHAT, ARE THEY ALL CHILDREN??? [Yes]

OOOP- awwwwww [Dangerous for him and Constance to do that in broad daylight tho]

Well their relationship has escalated

[OH, LOOK, HER HUSBAND; WHAT. DID I SAY.] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Awkward, that is.]

Blech

Sweet lord [Indeed]

Do they not get paid? [Kinda but also... money got spent… It's not much, I don't think]

[They're Tinder-ing in church ☠️] Im dying [Porthos swiped right on the widow alkdsfj] Trying to say something and these two are distracting me [I adore them] Ok, so anyway… I’m guessing D’art does it, wins, and then becomes a Musketeer

Poor d’Art

Y’all two really trying to swindle money from grieving women… MEN [Only one was grieving. The other was having an affair, since those are highly common] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Imma. Oooop… Second-hand embarrassment [She's covering for him :)] ☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️ Oooop she ain’t grieving too hard [I'm sorry, but they're kinda cute] They are

“You’re cute”

☠️☠️☠️ Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife [adslkfjlksadjf]

Candle sniffer? Is that a person? ☠️☠️☠️ [Candle snuffer, dear] I know 😂

["Too often, you let your emotions get the better of you" "Can we just get on with it" Sir, that. Proves the point] ☠️☠️☠️

Oooop, I see what you’re doing, Athos

Blech

[I love Peter Capaldi]

Oooop. That might not go well

[Love lines like "I can see you are a man of quick intelligence"... they’re always passive-aggressive digs]

How did he not see him? Or hear that? They are quite incompetent

[OH SHIT I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS]

Oooooop

“You killed my father” [he’s making a habit of this] “I mean, burned down my farm. Prepare to die”

Well damn [This has gone badly for young d'Artagnan] d’Art, how do you really think this is gonna play out

[Of course Athos had to save him ☠️] ☠️☠️

Awwww [They turned it in a different direction, but I usually detest "I'm not like *you*" statements]

“Get some rest!” How about dry off?

Bruh where did the rain go?

Bitch (Milady), why ain’t you ded?

[This is what I meant by “I remember what happens after this” btw] Let me breathe on your mouth for a moment [Shut up]

“Leave me alone, Athos” Ma’am you came to him??? Womennnn

“I thought you had brains, but clearly not.” Athos, what has he done for you to think that? [alskdfjlsakdjf This is a valid question]

– – –

Jezebel: Welp! First off the level of ack I feel about friends having to fight each other in a competition is like…. Skyrocketing. Idk if it’s gonna be as awkward (they each think they will win, disappointment if they don’t) but I feel awkward about it lol!

Wench: You underestimate their loyalty, dear… I'm reasonably — like 90% — confident that they're only, like, half-competing. Because this is the current main way they know to get d'Art his commission and he's running out of time. And these three are, it's heavily implied, the best of the regiment so it’s kinda foolish to send a new recruit unless it’s more about getting him the commission.

Jezebel: Ohhhh they letting him win?

Wench: I suspect they've already gone to Treville and been like. “Don't consider us for the tournament.” I don't know for sure, but that's always been my interpretation. Also, it's less "letting him win" and more "nudging him in the right direction and giving him sway with Treville." Buddy's from Gascony and got that hot-headed pride thing going; he wouldn't accept their charity any more than he'd accept their money

Jezebel: Ohhhhhh! I see!! I love them! 🙂

Wench: At least Athos, since he's heavily training d'Art to compete. I'm less sure about Flort because they seem to kinda need the money 💀

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Gonna be another: (Athos) “We weren't gonna try to win” -> (Porthos) “Weren't we?” -> (Aramis) “Next time let us know” things

Wench: aslkdjflkadsjf Exactly!!!

Jezebel: It feels like as of rn they have put Milady in the ep…. Just so she’s in the ep ☠️ Not that I’m complaining she’s aight but she just seems random

Wench: You ain't seen shit yet. Also, in case you missed this, they're Heavily paralleling Athos and d'Artagnan in this ep. Her being there is definitely intentional.

Jezebel: Yes! I have 😂 Athos even said it ☠️

Wench: Ma'am. He said one overt "you're more like me than you know"; that is not paralleling ☠️ And, if it were, it’s not the extent of the paralleling either

Jezebel: Aight lay me out the parallels 😂😂

Wench: I'll tell you in endpoint; it's easier to avoid mincing my words

Jezebel: Speaking of tho! I LOVE ATHOS TRAINING DART SM OMG!!! And Flort are just fucking chaos. ☠️☠️ I love them! Porthos trying to talk to the widow tho was fucking adorable

Wench: I adore them all

Jezebel: Ready?

Wench: Yup!

– – –

Ooooop

Ma’am!

She is so pretty tho 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Oooooop! Oooooooooooooop!!

No, she didn’t

Oh nooooo ["Who else is just going to walk up and hand me 30 livres" Well, ya see-] THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DUMB [Constance was]

PORTHOS!

OOOOP she’s giving him that look

[never trust "it doesn't matter"s]

HE BRUSHED HER HAIR BACK WITH HIS PINKY!? THAT WAS ADORABLE

Ooooop!

[I kinda adore them; sorry to your Portamis plotting ☠️ ] (Porthos) “What was I supposed to be getting again?” (Aramis) “….. NOT THAT”

[Shocker, the marksman won the shooting competition alksdfj] Aramis and that damn hat ☠️☠️☠️ [Oh, and the close-combat dude won the close-combat skirmish; who knew? :)] OH THIS GIF SET!

Athos watching all proud [*simultaneously* Also, in point of fact, I'm not actually sure Athos is competing at all]

Angry face

HE DIDNT FLINCH

“No control….” Buddy. You knew this. Ahead of time. Why are you acting like it's new???

I see what you’re doing… Le gasp! CARDINAL YOU ARE INSANE!

PORTHOS!

Dawwwww

Ma’am! SO ARE YOU

Okay, not the last one. But two out of three isn’t bad!

[Whoops]

Ma’am… It- Y’all- Sir. THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER [Because they're so dumb? :)] Yes

OOOP

He gone beat the hell out of herrrrr… Those things were allowed back then

Oooop

OOOOP

[Protective!Athos unlocked asldkfj] Ooooop!

Treville knows he’s letting the guy fight huh? [Not saying :)]

POOR DART! [Poor Constance] I KNOW

💔💔💔💔 The break in his voice when he said I want you

POOOR CONSTANCE

“Her name’s Alice” Oooop- [Callback to your earlier “Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife” !!!] Jealous Aramis

The Musketeers are like WOT

[Bruh. Swordsman??? It's a. Sword contest. I know Athos didn't seem to be competing in the initial bracket. But also. If the point is to win. ???]

They look like guard dogs ready to attack

[Once again, a very Doctor Who score… (Again, same dude, but it especially shows here)] lol!

There goes the hat

[Also, gotta love Athos getting ready to throw hands the second Treville's arm got injured alksdjf] Yes!!! [Man was taking off his cloak in 0 time]

Welp ok. King making up for all the childish behavior

[d'Artagnan needed to have his heart broken to not let it sway his actions ☠️] 💔💔💔💔

Ooooop! He’s doing the thing! The thing Athos did! [:))))]

Whoooop whooooop! [I must say. It's. It's kinda biased. To have the King. Judging an assessment. Involving the King's Musketeers] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oooooo! Whoooop whoooop!

[Adore the fact that Athos gets to give it to him]

Ooooop! She’s been had! [Why is she surprised that the scheming, manipulating, control-freak Cardinal was being a scheming, manipulating, control-freak??] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Also, I'm sorry, but the Athos/Milady storyline is something that is so delectably twisted I can't even... I'll explain some in endpoint] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

“d’Art is the key” ‘Cause he’s dumb

Sighhhh, womennnn

💔💔💔💔💔

Ack! DON’T DO IT

HE DONE IT

HE DIDN’T DO IT

OOOOP! She’s confused!

– – –

Jezebel: Basic summary: Poor d’Art! But also YAY D’ART! But then poor Constance. No really 💔💔💔💔 POOR CONSTANCE. But Miladys face when he didn’t get in the carriage? stunned 😀

Wench: Indeed

Jezebel: Also I didn’t absolutely hate the king this episode. He seemed competent ☠️☠️ I retract my earlier statements about him 😂😂

Wench: Ma'am. He was still being the same childish king he's always been; he just happened to be childish in favor of the protagonists.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ ok fair

Wench: He just threw a competition as a way of proving that his men were better than the Cardinal's, and then he rigged that competition, and then he took the prize money on top of that laksdjf

Jezebel: This… is also true 😂😂 Anyway 😂 ummmmm… oh yeah! Porthossss 💔💔 he was so soft and non-tough-guy with Alice it was adorable. And the “Who’ll look after you?” to Aramis???? 💕💕 (When she leaves)

Wench: Yeah :)

Jezebel: And Papa Treville! And how they all was like yeah fuck the competition soon as he got hurt! I love it! And I did mention up there the look on Milady’s face when the lil dummy she was so sure she could seduce didn’t take the bait ☠️☠️ Now that may change I guess! But that was satisfying that he wasn’t like “well, bye, Constance; hello, Milady!”

Wench: This is true, and it's nice that he's not fickle... Fits in with his character, though, for the most part, so I'm not horribly shocked

Jezebel: Athos tho! I loved him this whole episode! And his little "get down there before he changes his mind" (with a smirk)

Wench: Yesssss

Jezebel: Uhhhhh… the only thing I can say about Athos and Milady’s scene together was already said in the react, but how she was all “lemme stalk you” and then all “HMPH stop stalking me”... Like!?!?

Wench: You still don’t see the parallels?

Jezebel: Nope ☠️☠️ Just tell me

Wench: *sigh* Okay

Jezebel: 🙂

Wench: For reference, btw, we only have two more s1 episodes left. Now, first, some contextual parallels: Have you noticed the running theme of scarring/binding/tying in Athos' and Milady's backstories?

Jezebel: Um. I- no? Maybe? You say that and all I think is her being hanged but I can’t remember where else it is happening or do you mean figuratively

Wench: Yes and no. That’s the obvious example. She was hanged. She still "bears the token of [his] love" in the scar that remains. She covers it up with a fine necklace --- a choker --- to obscure her past. But less obviously... He still wears her locket. She says that he gave her a necklace, and he still wears the chain that represents her around his neck. Half the time he's drinking, his head is literally bowed by it. Also, in his intro, the locket is the first real thing we see of his character. He's hungover and drinking first, yes, but the second he gets his bearing/sits up, he pulls out the locket. And that's before he even gets dressed/does his wake-up ritual. Within that locket is a pressed forget-me-not (or an icon of the flower, but the point remains... a forget-me-not). Additionally, the first time we see her, she's manipulating things so that he gets imprisoned --- weaponizing justice the same way she feels was done against her --- and quite literally manacled in the process. Et cetera, et cetera.

Jezebel: Ok, so see! This is what I mean by I may see a parallel but would never see it that deep! I would see he wears her locket with a forget me not inside and be like ohhhhh he is like tormenting himself. And this I would not think about it again. I would have never caught the choker being symbolic just that she needed something that fit to her neck… or she couldn’t hide the scar

Wench: And that's shown in their interactions too… In "Commodities," for example, when they both are back at Pinon: after she’s knocked him to the ground, she literally pulls him up to meet the dagger by the locket chain.

Still Wench: And yet it’s also why she can’t go through with killing him; she's so distracted by it that she takes too long and d'Artagnan shows up.

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ see now I caught that that threw her off ☠️☠️ I’m not fully unaware! 😂

Wench: Not surprised by this, but the scene still means more in context of the larger symbolism. Then you've got the episode we just watched, where you have the alley scene, in which she literally tugs him closer via the chain.

Once again back to Wench: But even beyond the literal symbolism that's emphasized overtly on screen, it's their literal storyline… They're each orbiting the other, unable to let go completely but unable to forgive and forget and move on either. Tied together by their mutual scarring --- whether literal or metaphorical --- and the literal ties that bind.

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ that is so sad and makes so much sense once pointed out omg

Wench: So. Why have I spent so long yapping about this? Because all of this context boils down to Milady deciding to sponsor d'Art. And what does she do for him? She gives him money, BUT. Attached to that money. Is nothing less than:

Still Wench: A necklace. More than that, a forget-me-not pendant on a chain.

Jezebel: I meant to mention that more! I think I was like oooop or something but at first I thought it was THE locket! Like i thought she’d got it off Athos

Wench: It's not, but what it is is a cheaper-quality pendant. It's not a locket; it's just an oval with a carving. It's stark and cold, harsh and engraved. Molded. Like, one might say, a woman who's been through shit and decided to embrace the role of criminal she feels shoved into. Athos', meanwhile, is a locket. It's got the actual flower, soft and natural and encapsulated in time. A happy memory encased in pendant form. But it's also not intact. It's old and withered and slightly tarnished: the necklace equivalent of that warm and happy glow they always use for the Athos/Milady flashbacks.

Jezebel: I am sitting here reading this like…. Bruh, these are blink and you’ll miss them moments and here she is just pulling full detailed parallels out of her ass…. But they make sense and make the characters so much deeper and sadder… ack

Wench: I'm boutta add a bit more, whoops :) Because this shows up in the context of Milady offering to sponsor d'Artagnan, right? She's offering him money. But the chain comes with the money. Her influence comes with the money. They have to go together, or they don't go at all. If he takes that money, he becomes even more indebted to her than he already was. And he does take it. And he takes the necklace (her "care," her influence, his debt to her) too. AND… this is what gets him and Constance in trouble. It's Bonacieux seeing d'Art and Milady together and discovering that necklace that prompts him to follow d'Art. It's Milady's meddling influence that keeps screwing things up for them. BUT it’s not all bad because, when the necklace goes missing and Constance asks about it, he dismisses it --- her influence, his debt to her --- as unimportant. He lets it go. She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached

Jezebel: (I was waiting cause it seemed you were gonna add more to that! Since he declines the offer)

Wench: Oh, no. Nothing immediately attached. But I will say... The more I (re)watch, the more I realize that she's got a lot of the archetypes of the devil figure. (That's the character who offers a temptation but gets control of you in return)

Jezebel: Oooooo! 👀 I can see that

Wench: She consistently offers things to people --- love to Athos, power to the Cardinal, a hodgepodge of things for d'Art --- but it's not as easy as it seems. With the sole exception of the Cardinal (because he's an unstable force that she can't fully manipulate), she gets nearly interminable power over the people who take her up on it

Still Wench: Anyway, that's the main but extensive parallel between Athos and d'Artagnan in this episode. Athos outright says, "you're more like me than you know" (paraphrased), and they show it, bit by bit, with this running symbolism. They're alike, but not the same. They have similar necklaces --- similar ties to Milady --- but not identical ones. d'Art hasn't and never will have the same opportunity to be influenced by her as Athos did --- he first met her when she framed him for murder, so he's not quite as inclined to trust her as Athos (who met her when she was either not the same person or pretending to not be the same person, depending on your interpretation) --- but he's nonetheless swayed by her. Similar, but not the same. See?

Jezebel: Yes! I do! 😂 though I never would have before! So thank you 😂😂😂

Wench: :) np! Any overall responses though? ☠️ I kinda took over

Jezebel: More of a question… Am I just seeing her look confused he didn’t get in the cart, or is that gonna play into this little “she can sway Dart to come to the Cardinal men” thing she had because she doesn’t have the hold over him she thinks?

Wench: Wot

Jezebel:

Wench: Hellooooo?

Jezebel:

Wench: Good night, dear

-- -- --

*the next morning*

Jezebel: I was falling asleep ☠️ but I can’t remember if you ever commented on if there was a point to be made about him not getting in the cart with her. Like he can resist her and she didn’t expect that, or something. And because it seemed like you hadn’t responded I was asking basically if I was looking too deep into it. Like sure maybe she was like: oh ok then. But to me she looked legitimately shocked, as this came right after her telling the Cardinal it would be easy to sway him in their favor. If that makes more sense ☠️😂

Wench: It does a bit, yeah, and, to answer… I kinda adressed it, but only a bit, with the "She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached.” It's another way of drawing him closer/getting him under her influence. And she's feeling Really Confident --- as you said --- about her skill at influencing him. But what he does is a) show loyalty and b) show love. (Both for Constance, but still). This is particularly important because, if you think back to the pilot when they *coughs discreetly behind my fan* laid together, he saw the scar around her neck, asked about it, and, upon hearing that her husband had her almost killed, offers to kill said husband for her. So what we have here is a conflict between her influence and the other people in d'Artagnan's life, and she's been counting on her influence being strongest. (Which is partly because that's how it worked with Athos... even now, buddy can't move on.) But she just got proof that it's very clearly not. He just prioritized Constance (someone who'd just broken up with him, too, and seemingly very cruelly, even if Milady didn't know that) over her, and that's a sign that maybe she's too used to her own allure working and she's misjudged d'Artagnan's character, But it's just a minor thing, so it's not panic yet, just confusion. Does that make sense?

Jezebel: Yes! 🙂

Wench: Good... I feel like half of this shit is not what it is in my head laksdfj

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ doubt it, because everything you say makes so much sense

Wench: ☠️😭

Jezebel: The emojissssss

Wench: Shut up But I have had months to think about this. And more since the book.

Jezebel: That was all I had for endpoint though! I just really wanted your two way more than two but I love it cents on that look

-- -- --

Wench edit, many days later: It's occurring to me that those "oop"s are very incomprehensible but idk what they referred to, so I can't put in signal phrasing... sorry :] (Blame Jezebel)

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #<very heavy this time #s01e08 #the challenge

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Note

i think, very seriously, that you guys should check out once upon a time, for no specific reason, i think you guys would love it *eye emoji*

Hello hello! It’s Jezebel here! Since I’m the one who has not yet seen OUAT! Crazy I know, I’m a terrible Disney fan 😆

I agree, equally as seriously, that we should! 😁and we actually have it next on the list if I’m not mistaken, right Wench (when you inevitably reblog 😁💕)

Soooo that said, it’s coming. Soon! (Ish)

#thanks for the ask!#wench and jezebel answer #answered asks #reactions #reaction suggestions #ouat #once upon a time #coming soon

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: A Rebellious Woman

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[Starting out with both Athos and Flirt; a good start for both of us] Whooop whoooop!!

Le gasp

Oooooof, poor girl

Well shit, she ded

Oooop!

Men. 😤😤

[Bruh, this woman going for the Musketeers for why]

“As sane as you and me. Or me anyway” 🙂

Oooop plot twist

Ooooop!

Tantrum? “That allowed?” [*simultaneously* "Is that allowed?" Louis sounded so confused ;aldskfj] 😂😂😂

Ew men! Well, man! But still

[For an episode that started with Athos and Aramis, they haven't been in it much :( (just wait tho)] Ooop… You said that and they appeared 🙂

Ooooooop… Tantrum! [tbf, wouldn't you throw a tantrum if some dude wrote a pamphlet saying some other dude can have you killed?] Fair!

["That's very, very shocking" Sir, your Twelfth Doctor is showing]

Bruh. Your wife. [*simultaneously* Also. SIR. YOUR WIFE. IS RIGHT THERE] !!! LIKE HAVE YOU EVEN EVER LOOKED AT HER!?! (Flirt has)

Oooop ["Probably only mental vacancy" Biatch]

Poor Athos is getting heart eyes and his wife is just standing in the background

[Forget beauty; trauma's apparently the flirting style to choose] Ma’am’s gonna get ded

😖😖😖 [Ah, yes, have a *bone*]

Oooop! Now Athos has heart eyes! Er, heart lips? Heart everything

Ma’am that’s gonna get you DED [not saying that he's concerned about this, but] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooop! Ooooooop!!

[Do you see what I mean, btw, by the Cardinal's scheming and misguided but not completely, totally evil? Like, he's definitely better than this dude] I do! [He's actively like. Okay, whoa, I said she was insane, I didn't say "deal with her firmly", is she reallyyyyyy a heretic?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

["I'm sure his face was a picture when you kissed him" Yeah, but Milady don't care at alllllll] 😂😂😂😂

😦 OOF [ngl, he's got a point… She kinda needs to consider the consequences of what she's doing. I have so much analysis about this ep, oml] LOL But also ☹️☹️☹️☹️ oooof

😂 Mentally he’s like say no say no say no

Ack, would not want to be alive back then

"It ended badly?" "You could say that" He says with a smile

[She just ran smack into him ☠️]

Well damn BY HER HAIR ☹️☹️

[The bookssssss] 😭😭😭😭

[His face tho]

Oooop the fingers! He goes "four girls" and holds up his fingers and they literally are all pointing in different ways

[Someone's pissedddddd]

“Take this… but like… I want it back” [*simultaneously* Sir just gave away his gift from the freaking Queen]

“We all gotta accept our fate in life.” Everyday I wake up poor with a bunch of attitude filled hellions I think the same thing, chick 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

– – –

Jezebel: I can’t think of much to say… but Athos was giving the star lady the smoulder. Putting Flirt to shameeee! Then of course it all went to shit

Wench: Ma'am, I honestly don't get how you watch this and are like. *shrug* Not much to say. (All affection possible, to be clear.) But like. I'm watching it and I'm like. HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD THE PARALLELSSSSS

Jezebel: Cause Athos is your beloved not mine 😂

Wench: Yeah, but you didn’t see the Aramis one either

Jezebel: Ok yeah no I didn’t 😂

Wench: Anyway, go on, say the parallels you’ve come to see

Jezebel: I’m not good at picking up parallels 👀 until they are pointed out. Or I know to look for them. And I mean… damn you! Just say them then, wench

Wench: Well, you’ve got: privileged noblewoman who has an idealistic view of the world and acts in the way she thinks is right accidentally getting people hurt in the process contrasted with Athos, who we know was a nobleman, and who was a bit naive/idealistic when he fell in love with Milady, and who got Thomas killed as a result. Which, to my mind, is why he takes her to the morgue. Is it harsh? Yes. But it's the same wake-up call he got when his brother was killed, and he knows where Ninon is heading if she keeps on her path.

Jezebel: And ahhh. Yes so that’s again a lot deeper than the parallels I assumed you meant, which were: strong independent woman? Enter Athos heart eyes. Woman may be deceitful? Aaaaand now she’s ded. Enter Athos broken heart eyes

Wench: Well, with the exception of the ded bit (because I’d not spoil something like that during midpoint, for shame!), that basically is the second parallel. (I had this already typed up before you sent that, so pardon the repetition, BUT.) You’ve got: Athos fell in love with Milady (a fierce, independent woman) and trusted her, and she ended up being very much not who he thought she was and killing his brother as a result. Fast-forward a great many years of self-loathing, guilt complex, and abstinence, and you’ve got Ninon (a fierce, independent woman) with whom he’s at least entertaining the idea of something happening, and he trusts her word that the girls aren’t there, and he finds out that no, actually, she lied to him. Which is (part of) why he’s so angry right now. And I'd wager another part of that is internally motivated because it's a second time that he lets himself put trust in a potential romantic interest and gets burned for it. (*snort* literally. Wait. WAIT. LAKSDJFL;KADSJFLKADSFJLKADSJF That's funny!!! Tell you during endpoint)

Jezebel: Ok lol

Wench: Anyway. Those are the parallels. Respond at will

Jezebel: Except Milady killed the brother herself and Ninon just taught the girl to think for herself and she acted out on it foolishly. Which, yes, the blame still can lead back to Ninon but I don’t think it makes her a bad person. Sooooo team Athos and Ninon for me 😂 Unless she is only in this episode and then never mentioned again… Then team fuck you writers 😂😂

Wench: You'll see what happens. Though, I will say... It did kinda seem like she encouraged the note thing? "Oh, lemme write this for you and then tell you that the Queen is a sympathetic ear *wink wink*" is kinda. Active. And, also, like I said... a lot of it is a matter of trust. She gave her word, he kindaaaaa vouched for her (but, more importantly, bought the lie), and then it turned out to be false

Jezebel: Fair!

Wench: I interpret it as: He thinks her goal admirable, but also thinks she's going about it the wrong way. She asked for his trust and abused it. Etc. Also, I'm sorry... I like Aramis; you know I do... but he annoys me sometimes. He acts like he knows all the details of a situation a lot of the time when he just... doesn't? And I feel like someone with eyes could see that?

Jezebel: No you’re right 😂😂😂😂

Wench: So, like, in the episode where they go back to Athos' estate, he keeps picking fights and worming for more information and even bringing up the vaguely bitchy "how many servants did this place have?" and stuff without reading the fact that This Is a Serious Development. He's actively opening up to them a bit, in an extremely painful way, precisely because he does care about Porthos, but Aramis is just being. Annoying. Or in this episode with the "she was protecting the girls, not deceiving you." Yeah, that's true. And intellectually, I'm sure Athos gets that. It changes nothing about the emotional side. And Aramis doesn't know about Athos' past, so you'd think he'd have a bit more care/curiosity and a bit less judgement

Jezebel: Yeah that’s fair!

Wench: I mean. They've known each other for like. Five years. Minimum

Jezebel: Trueeee! *Sigh* Dammit Flirt! You’re making me look bad for liking you

Wench: I will say... Anne (Milady), Ninon, Sylvie (not that you know her yet, but still). Buddy's got a freaking type ☠️

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂😂 executed

Wench: Ma’am. Shut up (aff). Anything else for midpoint?

Jezebel: I’m good if you are 🙂

– – –

Ooooop you sure ma’am?

“This is family business” *Hand raised aggressively* Oh no

Ooooop

Cause women do have brains and thoughts of their own 👀

Ackkkk I couldn’t have livedddd back thennnnn [*You* couldn't have? Ma'am, you don't like conflict; you might have hated it, but you'd be physically fine. I'd be burned at the stake as a heretic in a fucking millisecond] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oooooop she poisoned ittttt [Where’d you get that from? alskdjf] The way she held the cup ☠️

[Once again: the truly wonderful state of trials at the time]

Now I know she poisoned it

Oooop!

[His expression 😭]

Seeeee I hold grudges ☠️☠️☠️ so I will struggle liking Milady if she ever isn’t the bad guy anymore. Maybe she’ll leave without a reformation arc but like. Nah

[HER SMIRK! What a bitch alksdjf]

How has it been proven [As I said… courts are great]

Respect for the queen! Proof she has a good heart, too, ‘cause her husband has been goofily eying Ninon all episode

“What will I do if he dies?!” DIE! You will die!

Ooooop… Poor queen

Ma’am, what does it matter if she was Aramis' girl? YOU ARE MARRIED [Ma’am. You act like the sanctity of marriage means anything. Literally two seconds. After you were just talking about how you couldn't survive. The lack of autonomy.] It was a joke Wench shush

[Portamis' side-eyes alskdjf] 😂😂😂😂 ["How do you know about Madame de la Chapelle?" "Her whole life is a lie" Bravo, Athos, that's very clear. Very informative.] Right 😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️

Sweet lord this man

“You think I poisoned him?” Yep

40!?!? Sweet lord [Good news… She can follow the path of all wives these days and just. Affair] 😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️

Why would he willingly drink out of another glass of water after that

Ooooof ☹️☹️☹️ [Ah, yes. I'm sick. Let me fondle this bone] A KNEE BONE [*Ah, yes. I'm sick. Let me fondle this *knee* bone]

And I’m a jealous bitchhhhh 👀

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[To be fair, she didn't only betray her own sex. She betrays dudes more regularly, in fact] Fair… She’s just a betrayer of all things [Yup! Also… I'm sorry, but I do kinda love Milady. In a love-to-hate kinda way. She's just so delectably... morally fucked] 😂😂😂😂 You would ma’am! [I always loved Irene Adler too] Evil loves evil 😤😮‍💨 [Rude :( I feel attacked] Because you are ma’am 🙂 (aff)

And sir you will be going to hell for a lot more than just your relationship not being intact

[Athos is. Very Determined] He is!

Buddy… He said open his mouth, not lean in for a kiss [Portamis banter] You too Port

[ATHOS, STOP TOUCHING IT IF IT’S POISONED] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I KNOW YOU'RE NOT BIG ON SURVIVAL BUT STILL]

Oh the priest guy poisoned it

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Mood, Port [Because the Cardinal is the only one who can call off her death and he wants to save her alsdkfj Duh] … true 😂 God, to be alive during these trials

My dude why did you look?!!? You. Idiot.

[Damn, Athos, you speed-running the rescue]

Ack the intensity

Athossss [Also, more parallels here I'ma talk about in endpoint]

["I'm not a cruel man. Just a practical one." Like I said: true neutral] Very practical

Well damn 😦 [I mean. She do be alive tho] That’s true… But also, that’s so unfair [Indeed]

[Buddy, that be called blasphemy]

☠️☠️☠️ They go… we can hear you

[I love Peter Capaldi. And his accent is awesome] Yessss

[Oh shit more parallels]

And sad Athos again… Well, damn. Buddy can’t catch a break. [Ma'am, this is one of my favorite characters; happiness is exceedingly fleeting for them] ☠️☠️☠️

💔💔💔💔 [Poor Constance] Damn ☹️☹️☹️

[OH SHIT IS IT THIS SCENE? OH SHIT IT'S THIS SCENE. d'Artagnan.exe has stopped working… "I love you.” *blue screens* “I mean... respect and admire" "Say it again?" "I respect and admire you?"]

👀👀👀👀👀👀

OMG!!!! Awwwwwwww [This can't possibly go wrong] She is marr- fuck it, I ship ‘em [Ma'am has a het ship?!?!?!?!?! WHOA!!! (Yes, I recognize that I'm one to talk... shut up)] 😂😂😂😂 I love it tho! That was adorable!

– – –

Jezebel: Omg! 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 this was just an emotional roller coaster! Poor Athos! 💔💔💔💔 Like 🥺🥺🥺 buddy deserves to be happpyyyy! And it just gets ripped away from him! Like for once (and you know I like Aramis more 😂 but still) the heart eyes was aimed at him! And then it’s just like… nope. Nuh Uh! Not happening. She’s exiled now! And by the cardinal… the one his wife is working with! ☹️☹️

Wench: Not that he knows that, I don't think. Or does he? I can't actually recall

Jezebel: True, but WEEEE know 😭 I don’t think he does

Wench: Poor buddy

Jezebel: I don’t think he would have tried the little he did to save the Cardinal if he had 😂😂

Wench: Nah, he would. You underestimate his sense of duty/honor. It's like when he had to apologize to the Duke of Savoy… That was exceedingly humiliating, especially given the Duke's responsibility in the Savoy betrayal, and the fact that he felt his duty outweighed his sense of honor/pride is telling. Also, there would have been no other way to save Ninon; the Cardinal issued her order of execution, and he had to rescind it.

Jezebel: True!! I keep forgetting they needed him for that ☠️☠️☠️

Wench: And, finally, I do think there's a degree to which having the Cardinal helps. Because he's the King's right hand, essentially. His advisor. And a) it'd make France appear weak to have the advisor to the King be killed, especially by an emissary from Rome. And b) he does help the King on a lot of things. We tend to see his scheming side, but, again, at least this incarnation actively helps when it suits him.

Jezebel: Yeah his flip flopping gives me whiplash 😂😂

Wench: :)

Jezebel: And nooo, but Athos! Buddy straight up gone on his knees and begged 🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

Wench: And, just gonna remind... Athos was a nobleman. Pride and honor are bound to be pretty damn important. It's why the whole duty vs. love thing with Milady shook out the way it did; he had to do his duty, not just because of the King's ruling, but also because of his own sense of right and wrong... but it's tearing him apart because he did actually love her. (Kinda does, in some ways.) And he might hate himself as a result, but his honor still means a lot to him. Like in "Commodities" where the guy asks, "How do I know you won't betray me?" and Athos' response is a vaguely insulted, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." All of which makes clear how significant this was by putting that supplication into context.

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Wench: Thank you, thank you... I'm here all week! Follow me for more painful analysis. (And it's not JUST Athos analysis, to be clear. I pay attention to the others too. Like the Savoy thing. But like. Athos be interesting! I have put him under a microscope like a bug)

Jezebel: Also ack! I just feel so bad for himmmm ☹️☹️☹️

Wench: alskdjflaksdjflksadf Now you understand why he is my beloved

Jezebel: Athos be just your type of angst… The tragic hero that can never be happy!

Wench: a;lskdjf;lakdsjf TO BE FAIR!!! (And this isn't too spoilery) That isn't FULLY true for Athos

Jezebel: Which part, first or second?

Wench: *whistles* Or… Well. I guess I can say. The second.

Jezebel: Aight so the first implies enough 😂😂😂

Wench: Hmph

Jezebel: Anyway! I’m sorry I don’t think I will ever like Aramis and the Queen, unless they start having more scenes together to build a relationship. It’s just feels like purely lust rn. And this isn’t me just shipping Flort talking lol Which is also why I was like Hmph about her being jealous

Wench: They do have more later

Jezebel: Fair ☠️ But idk I just don’t like it ☠️☠️ But I do like her, so let that be said… She is so sweet and I feel bad for her 💕☹️ just not enough to ship her and Aramis ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Okay, but you haven't actually said why you dislike it… I, personally, think Aramis is an idiot for it, but I'm fond enough of them both that I'm on-board. As a passing ship that I don't obsess over but don't dislike

Jezebel: (Can you tell I’ve been writing I am not using my nickname 😤😤😤😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨)

Wench: asdlkfj

Jezebel: Well mainly just because I don’t see it. Other than he saved her and she gave him a necklace ☠️☠️ But also the thing about Aramis being an idiot! Which it sucks because you should get to be with the one you love and she was forced into a loveless marriage

Wench: You do realize he's been protecting her for years, right? Just because they only recently started interacting, doesn't mean there's not history of some kind. (Which is actually what's so insulting about the pilot episode. The King doesn't even know who Athos is despite them being there for years as some of the best in his regiment. So the Queen has likely interacted with them to a decent degree)

Jezebel: That true and fair! But I’m reacting to what I see ma’am! So Hmph 😂😂😂😂😂

Wench: Anyway, moving on. Milady thoughts?

Jezebel: I don’t likeeee herrrr 😤😤😤 lol! But also I think I missed why she was even in the place with Ninon in the first place 🤔 Or did the Cardinal send her after the death?

Wench: She was gathering dirt on Ninon to get her to stop. He wanted someone in there getting information, basically

Jezebel: That’s what I thought!

Wench: Also, going back to the Athos/Ninon parallel from earlier: Both end up giving up their money/lands/etc in response to tragedy, basically rewriting their lives/identities, and moving somewhere where they continue preserving their ideals but to a less obvious degree. And I was laughing about the "got burned for it" earlier because both relationships literally end in fire and flame. Milady burns down the la Fere house and Ninon is almost burned to death.

Jezebel: 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 trueeeee

Wench: And then there's one final parallel (that occurs to me right now)... From Milady's POV, Athos intervened (extremely spiritedly) on behalf of Ninon and called of the execution, but had not been willing to do so for her. Obviously this isn’t full fair, since a) Ninon’s actions were only considered criminal because they were inconvenient, not because they were actually harmful, thus he would have done the same for anyone and b) he’d been living with the guilt of killing Milady for long enough that the situations aren’t comparable (e.g. he might have been able to think that he could take comfort in Milady’s execution being his duty the first go-round, but he knows that he can’t by the second go-round). But there ya go

Jezebel: True so you see why she’s upset… not that she deserves to be upset but you see it 😂😂

Wench: I understand why you don't like Milady, but I do think it's important to note that she does have a rather sympathetic story. I know things that make her even more sympathetic from later in the series, but you know some of it already... If you look at it from her perspective, she's spent her whole life shoved into the role of criminal to survive, and she keeps asking for someone to understand. And every time, she gets rejected, and she's back to being a criminal, but she just wants someone to understand. To recognize that she's not as bad as what she's been forced to do. But she also tells herself she doesn't care about that --- she tries to force herself to not care about that --- and years of having to survive some way or another have worn down her morals. So she's in this loop.

Still Wench: She's a street criminal but she finallyyyy finds a way to be happy, a way to love and be loved in return... and then Thomas finds out about her path and snaps, threatens to tear her life down, and she can't bring herself to trust that Athos would be able to (in terms of emotion or in terms of the law, it's a mix of both) see past that, so she kills him. And this betrayal/murder is what truly drives Athos away (except not even that, because he clearly still loves her in canon), but she sees it as just more proof that she is a criminal, will be a criminal, and can't be loved because she's a criminal. And then she goes and gets a job from the cardinal where, guess what, she's once again committing crimes for the sake of survival. But she's still so desperate (much as she doesn't want to admit) that she even goes to a confessional to try and get absolution, and the priest rejects her --- condemns her for her actions despite the fact that God is supposed to be forgiving, tells her she's unforgivable --- so she gets pissed.

Jezebel: Oh gosh that’s a lot ☠️☠️😮‍💨 I was like what happened 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wench: Her entire life is a cycle of trying to survive, and then every time she tries to live --- to be recognized as not having much of a choice, to be seen as more than what she's done --- it gets snatched away. So she steels herself, goes on with what she has to do, and the cycle repeats.

Jezebel: Yeah, I can see that once you say it. Like with Sam! My biggest flaw in being a reactor is I don’t look deeper than what I’m seeing (and I’ll miss parts 😂😂☠️☠️) but once it’s pointed out I can really see it!

Wench: Anyway… anything else?

Jezebel: I think that’s all I have!

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #s01e07 #a rebellious woman

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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Dark Angel Reaction: Hit a Sista Back

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Oooop 🙂

[Immediate OMax content] Yus

Bruh Cindy 😂😂😂 tell her what you really think [oof fair] I’d hate for her to see me [Ma’am, don’t even start; guarantee your skin looks better than mine] Hah! HAHAHA! No

[Zach be back ‘sigh’] 😂😂😂😂😂

“Something like that” WHY NOT JUST TELL HER WHAT’S GOING ON?? SHE KNOWS?! [Because Max has to be bitchy and mysterious or she ain’t Max]

Oh nooooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[Max, don’t fuck up her life please] I mean she’s not in the wrong to bring it up tho. But also 🥺🥺🥺 [I feel like there’s a difference between “you’re in danger; you don’t know me but the people who took your wife are dangerous” and “your wife/the mother of your child is not who you think she is and you’re all gonna die”] True

Oh boy… Kid’s gifted! Dads like ooop

Noooooo Lintlicker gonna want him! 😤 ‘sigh’ I say nothing

[Oh, look. Lintlicker.] DAMN IT ALL WHY THEY GOTTA KEEP BRINGING KIDS INTO IT 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

Ugh the dreaded oooOoOooOo! It’s almost worse that the spinning baby [skdlafjlaksjdf wait til you hear the voiceover]

Oh boy. “Since I be broke now” Logan’s gonna be regretting coming out with the info

[Oh, no, not the hiding-things storyline] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[“[Tinga]’d do the same for me” bitch, no she wouldn’t? You tried this. Multiple times. She was like, yah, no, I’ma dip] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ 😂😂😂 “one of them would surely do the same for me… I’mma keep trying til I get the right one” [YEAH. BUT IT’S ALEC. AND SHE GIVES LESS THAN TWO SHITS ABOUT HIM] ☠️☠️☠️ his not a sibling maam! It doesn’t count!😤😤😤 [You right, you right. Sorry, I forgot we just meant siblings and not generic discussions of Manticore folks] 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh, so Tings has told them, just a different way [:)]

Lie! No kid falls asleep that easy! [He’s gifted thus falls asleep quickly] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[“These guys never learn” Max, ma’am, nor do you] Ooop

[“I don’t do guns” MA’AM.] Lol [Isn’t this the same logic she used against Logan?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [“You have access to money, thus it’s stupid to give it up out of a sense of justice/nobility” “You have access to a gun, thus it’s stupid to not use one out of a sense of… idk” Same argument, so why ain’t she listening to her own strategy???]

[Things were not safer this way]

Max is so emotionless I swear to god [I know! And we know for a fact that’s not a Manticore thing because Ben, Tinga, Alec… they have emotion. Too much emotion, technically. It’s just a Max (and kinda Zach but kinda not) thing]

Ack I hate herrrrrr [Renfro? She pisses me off so much]

[Tinga is. Very pretty. Just saying]

Oooop mama bear! And dad’s an idiot I see [alsfkjaldkfjlakdfj] Like the red flags that should have already been going off…

And you get your head shaved and a tattoo and meticulous training [“can my mommy be there” as;lkdfj;alkdfj;lkj Yes, actually, that’s his whole plan]

[I’m starting to think JamPony won’t be in this much :(] Oh noooo 💔💔💔

[Max, you’ve been there, but only ‘cause you’re not clear about stuff. OC woulda rolled with it and you know it. Kendra… less clear, but still.] Well tbf she did straight up tell them both once and they laughed [She didn’t really try, ma’am. If I wanted you to believe a story, even if you initially laughed, I could make you believe at least that I believed it] Well she didn’t try to explain but she flat out told them ☠️ [Yeah, but that’s what I mean by her a) not being clear and b) not really trying. She’s trying to get cred for not having been able to tell people because they’d not understand, but she literally never gave them the opportunity to.]

Tf! [Not sure that’s how physics works] The anxiety that gave me and it didn’t even show it [That was a very springy rope for tightrope walking, I feel] ☠️☠️☠️

Ma’am! Give them a — ok fair kinda but Hmph

[This poor dude tho getting sucked into it all] I know

– – –

Jezebel: Soooo! I have a feeling somethings gonna go bad! And either husband is gonna die or Tinga is gonna die! Mainly cause I highly doubt kid is gonna die

Wench: All this death!

Jezebel: So much!

Wench: I don’t fully remember how this shakes out — I know some, not the rest — so: You do know that them going back to Manticore is an option. We’re nearing the finale. It’s possible that they’re trying to rescue the kid

Jezebel: Yeahhhhh but idk! Unless they get the kid and he goes back! But they would never let that happen so again. Deth. When’s the last episode? Next one?

Wench: No, two left in the season

Jezebel: Ooooh!

Wench: But I think the last two are together? Iirc? idk for sure

Jezebel: Well, I’m trying to think of more past that, but this has been a very one-themed episode

Wench: No JamPony :(

Jezebel: I know… Is sad. But I’m done!

– – –

[Did. Did she say “objective: offspring” alskjdflaksjdf] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh lord, big bro. Well. Big “bro.” Hubby better watch him

At least their not real or half- ooop 🙂

“They made me young again.” Enough to make any woman switch sides [“they brainwashed you.” Max, why are you surprised by this?]

Ooop! Max actually losing! [btw. Max winning any fight against a Manticore transgenic is so stupid. This woman has been out of the game for ages.] ☠️☠️☠️ [She beats Ben; okay, yeah, that makes sense becuase they’ve both been out for ages. She doesn’t beat Tinga: MAKES SENSE. She beats a number of other “true blue” Manticore soldiers: WHAT?! She should have some degree of advantage from knowing street fight moves but otherwise she should Very Much Not Win]

“He’ll get over it….” Um he might not [Some people actually value interpersonal trust. And don’t lie to their S.O.s] Exactly

I meannnnnnn Zach’s not wrong, but also they would need the protection too [Agreed]

“And then her prince peaced out cause she’s a liar” ☠️ [asldkfj]

💔💔💔

“No, we’re not “not like that” because she’s a transgenic; it’s because we are emotionally constipated please leave it alone” ☠️😂 [askldjflaksdjflkjadsf This kind of thing kinda annoys me though. Like… I get being pissed that someone lied to you. And I get that things might need to adjust. But. person is the same?] Exactly

Oh shit [Ruh roh] Well shit

[Zach is a dick btw] *simultaneously* Aight that was out of line Zach. Agreed until then

Damn [Yep.]

Don’t like Lintlicker anymore. At all [This virus is called foreshadowing (I’m not telling you of what, but it concerns Max. And Logan.)]

BRUH SHES NOT A BREEDING MACHINE [You haven’t seen s2 Dark Angel yet and it shows]

I’m so mad sweet lord. They fucked with the kid. They really fucked with the kid! 😤 [I didn’t remember this, for what it’s worth]

Good! Fuck off, zach

Nooooo! Watch the blonde lady want the kid so she kills Tinga! [I confirm nothing] Cause blonde lady has the murder drone

I hate himmmmmmm. Lintlicker- hmph. I don’t how much of a change he makes

Hmph, his fucking shit eating grin

Oooop look at that you have been double-crossed, asshole!

Oooop look at that! Zach is back... asshole

She’s not one of them; she’s one of THEM! LE GASP

[Guess 656 is Tinga]

I’m confused… Is Brynn dead, or just knocked out? [Knocked out]

Ewww sibling hug [...] Pssssh I know it means more than that. To him at least

Breeeeeeding machine 😦

💔💔💔💔 [“I get why she didn’t tell me. If she had, I would’ve gone the other way.” Yeah, dumbass, that’s why she didn’t tell you. Congrats: you’ve leveled up your empathy stat]

[Max, haven’t you learned about making promises?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

I’ma be honest; I’m not sure the King is the one they should be worried about… I’d be concerned about the Queen

– – –

Jezebel: I feel so bad for Tinga omg! That fucking suckssss

Wench: Yuppppp. And I can’t say it gets better! You get no spoilers beyond that but ye

Jezebel: 😭😭😭😭😭 Honestly, though, this one was kinda boring. I guess setting up for the two-part finale. So I don’t have much to say past what was said

Wench: I don’t know for sure it’s two parts btw. But I think it is because I’m pretty sure they’re both centered around helping Tinga

Jezebel: “Helping” tinga

Wench: Aight… next episode(s) sometime soon, then?

Jezebel: YES

#dark angel #dark angel reactions #reactions #episode reactions #s01e19 #hit a sista back #max guevara #logan cale #jezebel (pr)

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: The Exiles

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Sheep

[Bebby]

“Don’t get…” Buddy. You. Have. No. Right. T- Actually neither of them do. WHY WERE THEY CHOSEN FOR THIS? [*simultaneously* "Don't get involved" Aramis, you're one to talk]

That… Looked sus

Bby!!

PRIEST BE DED

HOW [?] IS THAT BABY IN THAT THING? [There are straps or something; don't question it] That’s so unsafe! The mom in me is like HOW TF! Ack!

[Legitimately, though, why did they have d'Art and Aramis teaming up and think this a good idea]

Welp… they left the wrong one with her [alsdkfj True] He just gonna replace the baby [ALKDSFJ]

[Sir, she was by a grave; where do you think hubby be?]

If Flirt removes and puts this hat back on one more time ☠️☠️ I know why he’s doing it but ☠️

[Dude. Athos should have had a hawk. Is it at all in his character? Nah, not really. But it'd be cool.]

All I heard from Louis was whine whine whine… whine whine

[asdfasdf We've found the two competent members of les Inseparables] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Whine. Whine. Whineeeee. [I recognize that he's not actually being unreasonable here but he's very whiny. I guess he could rescind his own ruling maybe? idk for sure. But like... she really did commit a rather serious crime] I just 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 This man.

["Decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people sire - it always looks a touch ungrateful." I love the Cardinal's sarcasm ngl] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Very true

Poor baby! I’d be crying too. He’s like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU MAN. And getting flip flopped all around

Do they think she’s a witch? [I don't actually remember]

Bbys like OH GOD WHY D’ART I’m screwed

Athos got them crazy eyes now

You just wanted to kill your mother???

Oooop y’all don’t be looking at each other [Another instance of Treville and the Cardinal being on the same page btw]

Wot. The. Fuck. This man?!!??! [Louis is… a character]

Buddy you think your cape is big enough? [Nope… You know what they say about men with big capes-] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

["Aramis and d'Artagnan aren't back yet" No shit, you paired those two together… The mission went to shit the second those orders were given] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Then again… Had he sent Porthos with Aramis…. They would have never arrived at all [Ah, then you've come to the (correct) conclusion that Athos has the braincell; I've taught you well] 😂😂😂😂 And he needed the brain cell with him guarding the king. Alas his hands were tied

Oooohhhhh poor bby king… Don’t cry… Uuuuwuuuuwuuuuu [It must be said... I do like the actor who plays Louis. He does a good job at being... this] He does!

It’s very obvious she’s faking [Ma’am is manipulative af]

[Ma'am. Treason is not a "misjudgement" most of the time] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ma’am why does dart need to be joined? [*simultaneously* "I'll go and join d'Artagnan" I'm not surprised, dearie] You! Are married!

[Good news... Aramis knows ways of healing wounds *cough cough*] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Have you, Flirt? Have you?

I thought they were gonna kiss I was like oooop

She looks like the queen of hearts in the live action Alice

Beauty and the beast 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Wait. Hold up. Oh shit. Huh] Wait Wot? Lol [Nothing]

Well shit… Flirt, stop talking

That’s so fecking sad omg ack

[Whoa, there, d'Art] ☠️☠️

☠️☠️ [THE SIDEGLANCE] I knowwww ["You'll have children of your own someday" "If it's meant to be *stares at d'Art*"] Lol

Poor Constance [She's gone from running the risk of dishonoring herself because d'Artagnan asked her to in Athos's name to running the risk of dishonoring herself because d'Artagnan asked her to]

– – –

Jezebel: I honestly don’t know how Aramis can breathe… Buddy has shoved his foot so far down his throat this episode 😂😂

Wench: asldkfjalkdsfj it's true

Jezebel: And the king! I just can’t get over how childish he is! 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 poor Anne I could never live in an arranged marriage! (That’s what these like always are right?)

Wench: This was def an arranged marriage, yes. As part of an alliance between France and Spain

Jezebel: Ohhh! 🙂 Then you got the queen of hearts being sneaky and conniving! And Athos being the only one with sense!

Wench: Oi, Porthos hasn't done much, but he's still not lacking sense! It's only when Aramis is there that trouble ensues

Jezebel: Very true! I swear: you got the brains, the brawn, the beauty, and d’Art

Wench: asdkfhjaslkdfj Also known by their alternative titles: the traumatized, the traumatized, the traumatized, and, oh, yeah, the traumatized

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ And these are the famous musketeers whose story has been told for centuries (?)

Wench: I mean. Yes

Jezebel: The ? Was because I wasn’t sure when the book came out ☠️☠️

Wench: I know al;ksdjf

Jezebel: Honestly? I love it

Wench: Though, again... d'Art was a great deal less traumatized in the book. And I don't remember Savoy being a thing for Aramis either. idk... it's been a bit since I read, but I only really remember book!Athos having a Traumatic Backstory alksdjf

Jezebel: So trauma, poverty, religion, and…. And d’Art.

Wench: Well, again, I'm not sure about the poverty even. For Porthos, I mean. I don’t remember it being a big part of the book, aside from the fact that he’s described (iirc) as marrying well, and that’s why he has a title.

Jezebel: Unless it’s just the show that has Port come fro- Yeah, that!

Wench: I don't know for sure… I need to reread 😭 The Wikipedia article seems to agree with me (picture not included)

Jezebel: Oh, so brawn works! And ☹️☹️ He dies?

Wench: Not in the first book… I told you this; he dies in Man in the Iron Mask

Jezebel: The book one tho right?

Wench: Yes. Ma'am, I've said this like three times 😭 I knew you never listened to me (aff)

Jezebel: ‘Cause in the movie it’s d’Art. Is he the king’s father in the book?

Wench: No

Jezebel: Also… Ma’am. Memory is shit you know this

Wench: HMPH.

– – –

Oh my gawd! She’s behind thieving the bby!

[Our wish, their command; Porthos returns to the front lines :)] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Y'all, why are you walking that closely. You're Asking to get seen] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Athos is back too]

Ooooop. OOPPPPP! OHHHHHHHHH PHILLIPE! [Now you see the cause for the earlier “Wait. Hold up. Oh shit. Huh.” NOW DO YOU SEE] I seee! Le gasp! OH MAH GAWDDDD

Shit, this baby is the prince

Oooooop she ain’t nothing in there

“He folds” [Athos, I love you]

[Constance, my beloved] Lord… Flirt’s gonna be getting heart eyes for the married lady d’Art’s got heart eyes for

Isss not all about looks flirt

*Sigh* He’s about to his thigh now. He’s going to have eaten himself by the end

🙂 I like him. I see what he did there [This has the same vibe as "just so you know why I can't help"] It does!!

[I love that Athos knows what happened within one second alskdjf] 😂😂😂

Lady… Don’t be stupid

[Off-topic, but… The temptation to write a Musketeers/Firefly fic is strong with this one] 👀👀👀👀 [I still don’t know firefly but I’m listening]

Maaam! The king is more a child than the baby!

[Also, Aramis... spare nothing why don't you. Like... she needs to hear it but also. Tact?] He’s definitely eaten his torso by now

Well, the red queen is back [Do. Do you mean Helena Bonham Carter] The character is who she looks like with that hairdo

Wah wah wahhhh ["Being king can be so boring" I promise you wouldn't want to be a subject either. Also "It's so unfair!' Bitch, you have soooo much privilege. It's literally not even funny] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ I can’t even with him!

["No, no, let's keep it suicidal"] 😂😂😂😂 [Did you expect any less from Athos? I mean... buddy's a bit. Self-care-less] Very true

[I mean. She makes a good point] True ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Henry, Louis, Phillip… Do the people back then know there were other boys names 😮‍💨 [Ma'am, they're French: Henri. Louis. Phillipe. But also… No]

“These barrels contain brandy. A rather good Armagnac, I believe.” “Athos, now is not the time.” AND THEN THE LOOK] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ I LOVE IT

SIR! [YOU ALWAYS LACK FAITH] I KNOW ITS FAKE WOMAN BUT YOU COULD HAVE WARNED HER [OH]

BRUH How can she be like this about her kid?!!? Damn. Like, he’s whiny but I feel bad for him.

Is she…. Is she good? [WHY WOULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK HER GOOD?] I meant the little moan thing she did

Well shit… Poor priest

Damn

Aight, Flirt pulled himself back out to like the ankle.

She’s like nah, I was thinking this man’s a fucking idiot

– – –

Jezebel: That didn’t feel like it was long enough to be a whole episode I have been robbed

Wench: lkasjfdlksajdf I'd say do another but it's the time of night where you usually abandon me, so... 'sigh' Although... next ep is rather a good one. Deserves focus. (aka: it’s Athos-centric)

Jezebel: I can’t stay up past midnight again I’m dying in the mornings lol 😂😂😂😂 If it was the weekend I 100% would 😭 cause I’m loving this show sm!

Wench: Hmph. Shoulda known... you just like me for my shows

Jezebel: LIESSSS

Wench: Mmmhmmmmm… Do endpoint, problem child

Jezebel: This was so fucking sad omg!!!! This is not what I wanted when I said I was curious if Phillipe was in the show

Wench: I didn't even connect the two last time, if it makes you feel better. I also didn't connect Savoy to all the dead Musketeers in episode 1 until this go-round. Or how this episode must have been painful given the similarities to Milady. I hadn’t seen Man in the Iron Mask (or read the book) in any close proximity last time I watched this

Jezebel: I thought of it when I heard the name but again that was a very common used name ☠️😂 Wait, Savoy was mentioned in the first episode?

Wench: No, but it had the ambush wherein the Musketeers were attacked for the letter they carried as a means of setting up Athos' frame-job. And it was very similar to the story we hear in ep4 about Savoy. Thus, that was likely even more unfortunate for Aramis than we knew. I think there was even snow on the ground

Jezebel: Ooooooh! And as for the Milady thing… What do you mean?

Wench: Technically it was the King’s duty to execute his mother — largely because he’d made that ruling in the past, to be fair, so he could just revoke it as he did in the show (but no one said Athos POV parallels had to be fair/accurate) — and he didn’t; thus, what does it say about the character of a man who went ahead with it when even Louis didn’t.

Jezebel: 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 Well! Damn! That’s more pain than I originally thought it would be! Ack! Now I’m hurt! 😤😤 rude.

Wench: You're welcome!

Jezebel: bUt yoUr NoT eViLlllll.

Wench: I'm nottttt

Jezebel: Anyway! 😤😮‍💨 This poor woman… Fell in love with a man who was a good person but shunned for his appearance, watched him die, saw her baby kidnapped, finds out he is actually the rightful king only to have that idea squashed because royals are actually quite evil, tries to escape just for her baby to be yeeted into a river…. I mean at least he is alive and they got away but I’m sure she probably has mentally lost like ten years of life from that

Wench: And she had to deal with Aramis for three days

Jezebel: Very true… how this man gets all the ladies is beyond me. He is 😮‍💨😮‍💨 an idiot

Wench: You... you ain't seen nothing yet. Suffice to say that Athos' statement from the first episode --- "Tell me he's not that stupid," immediately followed by him being, yes, that stupid --- is highly accurate as a personality guide

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂😂 And I say this as affectionately as possible as he is still my favorite. But he is still an idiot

Wench: Naturally... I like him too :) My ranking, btw? Athos = high favorite, Portamis = tied for high second, d'Art... somewhere in a distant third. (Sorry to d'Art fans… I don't dislike him though. He's just. Not a fave)

Jezebel: I read portamis as just Porthos and was like you like dart more than flirt for shameeeee! But, see, what has happened is this show has taken Dean and split him into two characters

Wench: Tbf, the flirty part of Dean was never one of my favorites. Like, nothing against that side of him, but it's not what endeared him to me. Thus, I'm not surprised that I didn't hyperfixate over Aramis despite that as a commonality

Jezebel: Very fair 😂 I think for me it’s more the goofiness that I’m liking but the flirting is cute

Wench: The goofiness is also not one of my favorite traits, so... the point stands. Like. I appreciate it in both. But it's not fixation-worthy

Jezebel: Does. Does this make Cas port and Sam Dart ☠️☠️

Wench: You do realize that not every ship is Destiel-coded

Jezebel: It was a joke ☠️☠️☠️

Wench: I know. As was mine

(EDIT: We’re accidentally paralleling the scene from this episode… “You do realize that not every ship is Destiel-coded” = “These barrels contain brandy; “It was a joke ☠️☠️☠️” = “Now is not the time”; “As was mine” = Athos’ Look)

Jezebel: But also no I don’t I will spread my Destiel fixation to every fandom I want thank you very much. (Idk why but the image that went through my head was coloring pictures of the other fandoms with a dual color green and blue crayon… It’s late. I’m feeling it)

Wench: Weak

Jezebel: It’s true. It’s what happens when you get old

Wench: False

Jezebel: 😊 Anyway… am I missing anything?

Wench: Not that I can see

Jezebel: Goood! Well Athos ep tomorrow!?

Wench: That works

Jezebel: Perfect… ‘til then!

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #s01e06 #the exiles

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

Dark Angel Reaction: I and I Am a Camera

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

My lovessss! Well, two of them are

[I missed his accent in the CSIs]

Herbal didn’t you see what happened to Cindy’s boo?! You’re gonna get him dead!!!

Sketch showing off

Oooop ominous shoes

Is! OMG THATS- WAIT MAYBE ITS NOT- [WHO?!?!?!] That guy from the Office. Dwight [Oh, idk]

HES GONEEEEE! Mysterious!

[SKYYYYY (You don’t know them yet btw)] Ooooo! Newbie [Nah, they were in the pilot… I mentioned them then too] Ohhhh [But they're not mentioned by name until s2 I don't think]

Gosh OC is so pretty! [I knowwww!] I love her hairrrr

THAT IS HIM

Mac ded

Oh, not Mac… Just ded

OH NOOOOO I TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA GET DED! Poor herbal

[Bruh, that was actually stand-up of Normal] I was waiting for the orders just like they were… But YES! RESPECT!

[Max, why tf would you think he'd want to talk to you about it] Because they all are blind to her bitchiness for some reason [Why is she making Herbal's friend dying about her?] ☠️☠️☠️

*sigh* [Oh, no, what's their drama this time?] Uh oh [Oh, never mind, we knew about this.] Someone is getting doubts [Indeed]

Also it was a pleasant change her not getting all sour faced to him declining [This is true] Wait ‘til she finds out why tho 😮‍💨😮‍💨

☠️☠️☠️☠️ she unzipped her shirt like “I know how to distract him”

If I hadn’t known it was Dwight before I would have there

The head snap: ☠️☠️☠️you’ll Wot?

[Look, I just gotta say... why is Max telling more to OC than she is to her alleged bf] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [*cough cough*] Mindy. Original Max? [OMAX] YES

YOU CAN SAVE ME THE POSTAGE?!?!! BUDDY, YOU’RE RICH [asldkfj] Hmph

Ohhhh nooo

Ooooof! Murder drone

– – –

Jezebel: Midpoint time! So… RAINN WILSON! I love him! He’s so quirky! 😂😂 But I’m also glad he’s not the bad guy! 😂😂😂

Wench: Idk who he is --- I only know him from gifs and House of a Thousand Corpses --- so... cool? :)

Jezebel: Also like… Logan is kinda confusing me and maybe I just missed something so correct me if I’m wrong… why is he so concerned with her killing now.., it’s not like he didn’t know she could, and would….

Wench: Yeah, but like… He saw proof of it not being provoked? I guess? Like, he was thinking of her as capable but innocent because she escaped as a kid. And now he found out that she killed someone before she even left, and brutally, too

Jezebel: Fair! But… Eh I still think the one they did as kids is unfair to judge her for, maybe, maybe not, idk. 😂😂😂

Wench: Nah, I agree… They were kids in a hostile environment, "trained" with extremely harsh methods, and set into a position where they were terrified/not understanding of what was going on.

Jezebel: And didn’t they think he was one of the like monster things?

Wench: Yeah, I was just typing that :) A 'nomlie

Jezebel: ☠️ Yeah! So like… I feel like this is gonna frustrate me with Logan now, because before if he had her on a mission or whatever she does for him he wouldn’t have batted an eye at what she did but now it’s like oh she killed someone as a kid? (And I guess with the added bonus of Ben freaking out like he did) she’s sus!

Wench: Yeah, I get it... I do think they drop this soon though, so there is that. But I could be wrong to, so

Jezebel: Oh! Good if they do! Also! NORMALLLL I LOVE YOU!

Wench: :))) Yesss

Jezebel: He is such an ass most eps but he was really sincere and poor buddy was so confused when they were eyeing him like… “but?”

Wench: I knowwww

Jezebel: “Did I say something wrong?” 🥺🥺🥺

Wench: I KNOWWWW

Jezebel: I have also come to the conclusion I am in love with OC! It’s just how it is… My husband’s gonna have to share!

Wench: You have good taste :)

Jezebel: Thank you… And that’s all for midpoint!

– – –

MURDER DRONEEEEE

[lkjLKJADS;LKFJSADLKFJ THE SILENCER GESTURE]

“What do you call yourself?” “Max?” “Maxxxxxx… Maximum girl…. Woman”

Logan’s gonna be like 😮‍💨 Aight I don’t have to worry

HIS LEG

[Well, *someone's* mental, but it ain't Logan]

I love him

I LOVE HIMMM

This is just post apocalyptic Dwight. I’m dying

DYING

[aldskfjalksdjf;laksdfj;lsakdfj *chuckles* nooooo]

Nooooo! Sad backstory… He’s gonna die

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[X FILESSSSS! I love that show] 😂😂😂 I- 👀😮‍💨 [?] Have never seen it [How dare] So sorry 😂😂😂

[Jesus, woman, be tactful] Right?!?

Buddddddy

Well damn… His survival is just plummeting. [This is true… I can't remember if he survives] He’s too likeable

☠️☠️☠️

He always plays a bad guyyyy

Welp… he ded

Ooooop… Good lord.

Logan! [That got her attention] 😂

“Logan get down” *Looks directly at it* Buddy

Well that is ☠️ [I- wot]

The faces

Pooor Dwight! (I know that’s not his name lol) [I don't know his actual name, so you're good] ☠️☠️☠️

What is this scene! Not the dialogue. Just the way they’re talking to each other. Mainly Logan and his rainy window staring

Phil. His name is Phil

And the bus explodes! Or- oooop. Maybe not

Ooooop you’re being sus he’s gonna doubt you more [I’ve gotta make something actually]

Oh wait HERRRRRR! WELL I SEE WHAT SHES DOING!

OOOOP! Him legsss! Now he can be the sidekick!

That smile was adorable

– – –

Jezebel: HE DIDNT DIE THANK GOD! I WAS WORRIED!

Wench: I knew Logan got the exoskeleton so I was concerned too

Jezebel: THAT WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING THO! I loved it! And the smirk! But also ooooof manticore lady has the murder drone! Not goood! NOT GOOD!!

Wench: Indeed

Jezebel: But Logan’s about to be upright again! Whooop whooooop! And if he wasn’t over the thing about max as a kid before he is now

Wench: Which is good!

Jezebel: YES!! And! I’m beginning to get ideas for the NORMAL & OC friends fic!

Wench: Yessss! Lovely :)))

Jezebel: And… I am trying to think of anything else to add… But I think that’s all!!

Wench: Yesss!

#dark angel #dark angel reactions #reactions #episode reactions #max guevara #logan cale #jezebel (pr)#normal #original cindy #sketchy #herbal thought #s01e18 #i and i am a camera

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: The Homecoming

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[Brace yourself btw]

PORT! WELL SHIT!

Oooooof

Runnnnn Port!

Why didn’t you just run, dammit?

[Well. You said you wanted more Porthos] I didn’t mean like this, dammit

Idk why the first thing in my head was: they had lawyers back then?

[I love how Athos is never looking the same direction as the others. He's always standing at the back staring out at the rear... which could either be funny-haha moodiness or strategically watching the rear or both]

NOT HIS BIRTHDAY [Yup :] ]

Oooop

Double oooop

TRIPLE OOOOOP 😭😭😭😭

Well damn I don’t want the next episode to be about any of them… Sheeesh [alskdjf It’s about Aramis] *runs and hides*

Ack [This dude is an ass] How. Dare. He.

LE GASP

THAT’S RACISM

[Them ripping off the Musketeers' pauldron pisses me offff] Sameeee

D’ART 🥺 buddy is like “Can we have a chill day?”

Not Athos

He knows that mark 👀👀👀 [*simultaneously* That's the mark he found on Milady in the book- I WAS JUST SAYING THAT] 🙂 [It's Louis' criminal brand tho, in general, so yes, he still knows it]

Buddies, what are y’all hammering? Oh they all crazy, I see [It’s a warning that the Musketeers are coming in]

You would know, Flirt, you would know

[Louis needs to stop whinging] Ahhh, whiny… Ack. This is why the Cardinal is so angry… I would be too [He does have to kowtow to the king's dumbass decisions]

Fled?

[I love this scene] “The hands of a musician” How many musicians does he know? [He was a count; I'd wager many] Fair!

Oooop [Aramis up in arms about Porthos] “This is bb— this is Porthos”

[Flirt be flirting again] Yep

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Oooop- Flirt flunked flirting [He got extra credit] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Noooo not the goats! the new Thor has two giant goats and they scream the whole damn movie

WAIT WHO IS THE CORONER MAN

Well, we did know it was murder already

[Cool badass character introduction]

Oooooop

Double oooop

That smile was as scurry as Athos’ eyes [aldskfjaldskfj]

“I’m too lorge” [I think they have clothing that'll fit]

Ummm that’s not fair tho

These damn past friends [You've got some Flort bonding in theory tho] True

Well, damn [There was exactly 33% tact in that exchange lsakdj]

“Rooms” Fucking rich people

These two are up to something 😤😤

["You always did whatever Flea told you" Bottom-behavior] 🥺🥺 [You're welcome… I'm hilarious] You are indeed [You weren’t supposed to agree aldskfj]

– – –

Jezebel: Soooo question… Why is it “the three musketeers” of d’Art was always a part of it? Or are there stories before him?

Wench: Because he doesn’t join immediately. Like in this, he's just kinda... an apprentice. A recruit. He only becomes one, like, 2/3 of the way into the book. Besides, it's his point of view, and he's looking on on "the three Musketeers.” They're kinda legendary, tbh. Like I said, they have that nickname --- Les Inseparables --- for example. And when they show up at the beginning of the book, the entire Garrison is spying on them/their interactions with Treville. And this, like, gasp fills the room when Athos (injured) walks in and is like. Hey. And then even more of one when he collapses. And some of them forget they're not supposed to be watching and lean fully into the room to watch. It's a whole thing alksdjf So they just. They're The Three. And then d'Art.

Jezebel: So it’s the three musketeers. And d’Art. ☠️☠️

Wench: Yup alksdjf

Jezebel: Oooooh! Ok that makes sense 😂😂😂 I understand a little more! Cause I was confused since like… the beginning ☠️☠️ And now for midpoint! I am not happy that I got more Port in such a way! 😤😤 I was bamboozled!

Wench: I did warn you it was bad

Jezebel: You did but you did not say hey! It’s port heavy… in the bad way. You just said bad. Bad could have meant one of them gets shot and almost dies. But that’s the angst I thrive on 😤 This is sad backstory bad. Hmph

Wench: alskdjflkadsjf

Jezebel: Also, I never noticed the scar on ports face til this one

Wench: Ma’am, how

Jezebel: Woman idk! I just didn’t ☠️☠️☠️😂😂😤 But I do now! ☠️ Also, I do love d’Art’s eagerness to run to his friends defense! I.e. him jumping over the rail when they sentenced Port Like 🥺🥺 buddy. Did you not have friends pre-ded dad? Now he does and is like I will not lose them!

Wench: I love that they all are that level of concerned though. Like, not just d'Art

Jezebel: Very true!

Wench: Athos and Aramis just know what is an uacceptable way of pushing back (e.g. jumping over the railing), but the SECOND Treville said "slow them down" or whatever, Athos was gone. And then he's like... oh. I'm a Musketeer. And before that a nobleman. Lemme just... duck into this place where people distrust/kill/steal from both. Meanwhile, Aramis is heading the entire investigation because. Well. Bros.

Jezebel: The musketeers as a whole group are just all loyal to each other first! Then you know the king and stuff

Wench: There's a reason it's one for all and all for one

Jezebel: Makes sense 😂😂😂 Anyway! Back to I don’t trust the “king” guy and Flea. maybe not her. But he’s definitely up to something. He either killed the guy or she did idk. Ready though!

– – –

It’s a repeat of the other ep [*simultaneously* *d’art's Vadim PTSD flashbacks activate*] d’Art hide [How dare you steal my joke] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Buddy, you sent them off! Hmph!

Matt? Matt Meese? 😂😂 [lksdfja;lksdjf]

Well, shit, it’s the man in the leather mask

[Aramis, you hedonist] 😂☠️☠️ [Oh, sorry... Aramis, you *heretic]

The priest looks like Shakespeare

d’Art ☠️ [“Did you kill him?” isn’t a good interrogation tactic?]

A wot now? [Huguenot. Type of Protestant] Oooooh

[Too bad Aramis isn't there… He's their medic. Not that he'd be happy with that term] I know! His poor needlework isn’t coming in handy [Nor is it getting ripped, though, so] 😂😂😂

Maaaam [Whoops] You are marr- with the king guy! ARE NONE OF THESE HOES LOYAL! [I mean. There are very few women who get to choose their marriages here, so no… Constance was married off by her family because it's a good match. Flea... well, she chose Charon, but not out of love. Etc.] Trueeeeee… Kinda like Mercedes [Yup]

Damn they went the whole 9 yards [Also yup] Flirts gonna be jealous

Hurt him?? Im pretty sure he part of this, so this a killer! Ack!

[“Our names are the Three Musketeers. Our friend's in danger. Prepare to yield.”] 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ooooop!

Poison. POISON! DONT DRINK IT!!

[Oop, Charon jealoussssss… Did not like that hand grab] I mean he maybe should be ☠️☠️☠️ [True, but jealous =/= jealous + possessive] Very true [Once again. Do not like that hand grabbbb] Exactly

Ooooop "kill anyone that gets in our way"

He has figured it out!!

BUM BUM BUMMM

I CALLED IT [YOU DID]

WELL SHIT [Poor Flea] I DOUBT THAT YOU’LL BE FINE MAAM

Where even was she shot 😂😂😂 [a;lkdsjf no clue] Ooooof!

Ooooop!

Well, Athos killed Milady, Flirt killed friend, and now port kills friend ☠️☠️☠️ Hopefully d’Art doesn’t know anyone else

Correction: Flirt kills friend and Port’s friend… Port, don’t you look at him like that. Hmph. He saved you!

The kings gonna open the letter and it’s gonna say SIKE

WELL, SHIT

🥺🥺😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

At least she kisses normal

😂😂😂😂

And done!

– – –

Jezebel: POOR PORT! 💔💔💔 Why do all their past friends suck? 😂

Wench: The joys of Trauma

Jezebel: Well… at least now they all have each other! Which gives me Port vibes from that movie clip where Ports like d’Art! We also protect each other! 💕🥺 Oh, speaking of… Are all their backstories the same in the other adaptations?? Or are they unique to this one?

Wench: In my experience… Athos is almost always the same; he was married, she was a criminal to some degree, he had her executed and has felt guilty ever since, and she’s not only not dead, but she’s working for the Cardinal. Aramis is always devout while simultaneously romantic and having a tendency towards womanizing (or not just womanizing, depending on your interpretation). As I mentioned, d’Art usually is different; most stories use the initial idea of d’Art going expressly to get a commission, not from some revenge story. And Porthos… I’m less sure. If I recall correctly, he doesn’t usually have much time spent on backstory. He usually came from something notorious though; he’s “Porthos the Pirate” (an exceedingly infamous pirate, apparently) in the Disney film and, as you know, a member of the Court of Miracles here. So, I guess I’d say… they all have basic similarities, and their personalities are usually the same, but specifics alter.

Jezebel: Oooooh! I see 🙂 interesting enough!

Wench: "Interesting enough?" Dang, woman

Jezebel: I still could schmack you for pushing me over the ledge into a new hyperfixation! (Affectionate 😂😂😂 I love it here). I just… Ack! I just am loving it! (I’m also finding it hard to give mid points and end points lately and idk why, but I still love it!!) And tbh I don’t know why I worded it like that ☠️☠️☠️ I sent it and was like enough? Why’d you say enough?

Wench: That's fair laskdjf Any other thoughts?

Jezebel: Nope 😂😂☠️☠️😭😭 like I said in the last one these are getting harder and harder to lengthen out ☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Ma'am, what have you done? *sigh* I'm carrying these endpoints

Jezebel: You are! I 110% agree☠️☠️☠️

Wench: … You weren't supposed to

Jezebel: Shush lol Also, errmmmm can we do an episode tomorrow

Wench: Uh… Probably

Jezebel: I feel bad; the DA folks are gonnna be mad! I have gone farther WAY FASTER in this one than DA. BUT to be fair… I was never supposed to watch it, just the Ben ep and then Alec’s

Wench: I did say that DA wasn't the most interesting w/o Jackles. I warned!

Jezebel: Then you suggested we watch it and I’m gullible (Kidding)

Wench: aksdfjlkafdsj I did not actually… Rude

Jezebel: I do like the show. But…. Well…. I really like this one 👀 and alas again I didn’t expect it

Wench: Ma'am, I told you you would

Jezebel: Okay-

Wench: When ever will you learn to trust my judgement?

Jezebel: Correction: I knew I would like it

Wench: …

Jezebel: I did not expect to like it this much

Wench: Hmph.

Jezebel: Don’t hmph me Wench

Wench: You forget: hmph + period.

Jezebel: DONT HMPH(.) ME WENCH!

Wench: Hmph.

Jezebel: Gasp!

Wench: Shush. We’ll do another tomorrow; ‘til then!

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #s01e05 #the homecoming

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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The Musketeers Reaction: The Good Soldier

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Wench Intro: This episode is brought to you by the fact that my work life sucks and I’m drinking one of my finite number of sodas that count as Jezebel-approved Real Snack Food, so we just had to do a react… what a shame :) We’ll pick up Dark Angel at some point soon, but I took advantage of the lull between Ben and Alec to steal Jezebel’s fandom attentions! On with the show!

– – –

GAHHHH! The king is such a child! He whinesssss so much

So they ARE French! Where’s the accents 😤 😂😂😂

Ooo jumpscare

Oh, buddy, not a “torn between my old friend and my new ones” [Friends or "friends"?]

She’s too nice! [Anne?] The queen [… Anne alksdjf] Oh ☠️☠️ [She pays for it, alas] Oh nooooooo! Wait, the queen? Or the sister? [asldkfj The queen. Anne of Austria.] Hey the Terminator is from there [wtf is this exchange? We're bonkers, I see]

d’Art! Of all of them to pop up! It’s always d’Art!

d’Art. You have. No right. To call anyone mad. adslkfj

“Your endless deceptions… now give me your word” ‘Cause that means anything

[Poor Constance keeps getting dragged into shit] I know 😭😭 [Y'all, she ain't dumb]

Are they holding hands? Buddy… Port is gonna be jealous [Marsac's wrist is tied to Aramis' and his cloak is hiding the rope] Oooh

D’ART. YOU DONT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE SHES MARRIED!

[Um.] Well [*Hand on wrist* *sigh* "I've thought of you many times"] Er… bro. [Bruh… this scene]

But. But you just called him that? Why? If you don’t-? *sigh* [No, stop, that’s not what he said… He said "Your name is held in contempt amongst your old comrades. You're a coward and a deserter. For that alone, you're under sentence of death."] Ohhh [That's all qualified by the "amongst your old comrades"]

“Friends”

Poor d’Art

Athos got some dead eyes! I’d be so scared to cross him

[Marsac favors Tom Hiddleston btw] Ye I see it

Ooooof

Wottttt?!?? PLOT TWIST

OOOOP! He ded [He ded]

Fuck that! Rats

[Cardinal, stop posturing; it always goes badly] Exactly [I know this version of you is true neutral so you really don't have to do the whole villain monologue thing] 😂😂

He favors Izzy so much I can’t even

[Dude, the fics I could write in jail with no responsibilities] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ MAAM DON'T GET ANY IDEAS

[I adore Athos' and Porthos' loyalty to Treville]

Buddys temper is extremely short [‘Tis true! And d'Artagnan is not holding back!]

Gonna be beaten by a child [He didn't, but only because he cheated and grabbed the sword to throw it away alskdjflaskdfj]

WHAT A CHILD SWEET LORD

Oooo! Not mad at the longer hair!

WOMAN [MA’AM] You don’t know what you want, sweet lord! [YOU ARE MARRIED] “Married”... Lots of quotations this episode

“You’ll be out on your ears” Like you was supposed to be this time

Womennnnn

Which… would be pretty good protection, what do you mean?

[I love this scene btw]

Athos is like… Wot now? [Dumbass legit picked the best swordsman in the Musketeers laksdfjalskdfjaldskfj Like. Buddy… Ya ain't winning] 😂😂😂😂 [“Athos is the best swordsman in the regiment” See? I wasn’t exaggerating.] 😂😂😂

Athos is like… Aight, easy

[Buddy pissedddddd]

[It is a veryyyy good thing they picked Athos, for real… Man's about the only one of them not gonna be hot-headed and screw it up. He'll sit there, stare the dude down with a glare that could cut, and still give the apology, but he *will* actually give the apology] 😂😂😂 but then he gets basically called hot headed anyway and has to apologize… Like, sorry I won?

Oooooop! OOOOOOP THE SCAR

[I love Athos’ passive aggression] YESSSS ["What motive could a Musketeer possibly have to want to kill the Duke of Savoy?" *cough cough* I KNOW WHAT YOU DID]

– – –

Jezebel: 🙂 Flirt Ep! 🙂

Wench: Indeeddddd

Jezebel: Buddy shoulda kept the locks 😮‍💨💕😂

Wench: asdlkfj Then you’ll love season 3; I think they all have longer hair

Jezebel: 💕💕💕💕 But also ack! As much as he has been my favorite, I hatteeeeee the old friend loyalty storylines. But like. Can one of them have a happy backstory episode orrrr? 🥺🥺 or is it like a requirement for the musketeers ☠️

Wench: Uh... d'Art was good up until his dad?

Jezebel: Exactly ☠️☠️☠️ He was probably doing his interview telling his life and they were like “ehhhh we don’t think you’re the right fi—” and then he goes “…and then my dad is as murdered.” and they’re like “oh, you’re in”

Wench: Also technically Aramis had the backstory AFTER he joined. He didn't have trauma pre-regiment that I know of

Jezebel: Ahhh I see 🙂 But alas idk if I trust the friend or not. And I’m leaning more toward not. And now 🙂 the sword fight! 🙂

Wench: I love that fucking swordfight

Jezebel: Again! Man has DEAD eyes! I would not want to fuck with him!!

Wench: akdsljf Don’t be rude

Jezebel: Shush! I don’t mean it to be rude! He just has a constant look of I give zero fucks

Wench: But that two-handed twist thing in the middle of the fight? I'm not at all sure it's historically accurate (and probably isn't) but I love it regardless. You know the bit I mean?

Jezebel: Yes! 😂😂😂 and SAME!

Wench: Aight... ready?

Jezebel: Yup!

– – –

[Aramis, how have you not gathered that Athos is gonna be loyal alksdfj I thought y'all knew each other really well alskdfj] Not gonna lie I’m kinda annoyed Flirts so quick to drop his loyalty [Oop! Scandal! :))))] Shush lol

[Also, Port in the rain again]

Oooop… Maybe they should be losing loyalty

[Oof, the soundtrack HELLA Doctor Who rn]

Oooooooh hell no [Bruh they said she's married] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Not that that’s stopping d'Art but still] I really hope Flirt doesn’t defend this.. What a TURD! Ew! 😤😤😤

Lady, you stop that look

Poor d’Art ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ He was getting excited [I love her though] But yes I do too!! The little giggle was adorable! [:)))]

Ooooop

Well shit

Damn I felt the anger behind that punch irl

Booooooo, Flirt, his- Welp. Saw that punch coming.

["I need a drink" We know, Athos, we know]

Ooooop she gonna get ded

[I love their cloaks 😭] Yesssss!

“It’s absolutely pointles- Do as he says” And that doesn’t scream red flag [He recognized d’Art] No, I know laksdfj I’m saying the duke is dumb

“How awkward” ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

The loook ☠️☠️☠️☠️ cardinal being sassy

Well now look at that, Flirt… You done fucked up! [Not the kind of bedroom bondage he expected? :)] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I’m hilarious]

THERES SO MANY GUNS IN FACES

OHHHHH! PLOT TWISTSSSSSS! [Yup! Not Treville's fault after all!!!]

FLIRT you are flip flopping so hard

Oooop more trauma *sigh*

His queen gift! 🙂 [Something something past lover vs present]

Now Flirt’s in the rain

– – –

Jezebel: 😤😤 I don’t like the friend at all but I don’t fully hate him either! I get why he was doing what he was doing. But it was still wrong. And the captain wasn’t truly guilty. But Flirt you upset me in this one! For shame! They are always blinded by the urge to be loyal to the friend. And there wasn’t much Flort interactions 🥺🥺

Wench: My condolences asdkfj If it's any consolation, there was relatively little Athos too. We both suffered

Jezebel: I also felt bad for Athos because he held on to his loyalty for so long then in the end he looked so disappointed that maybe it was in vain. Meanwhile, d’Art. 😮‍💨 buddy either a) doesn’t like conflict or b) doesn’t like change. Cause he refused to believe the captain was capable of this with like… NOTHING.., to back it up. At least the others had worked under him for a while

Wench: Yeah… d'Art is just a bit naive and idealistic. So he believes in the good of people without much basis. He's also hot-headed, which seems contradictory sometimes, but it's not… He makes up his mind quickly and then refuses to change it unless confronted with a serious reason. So, he's convinced Athos killed his dad; damn but he's gonna have to fight a duel, even against three Musketeers and not just one. He's come to know Treville as a good guy? He wouldn't betray the Musketeers. Etc

Jezebel: Yeah I see what you mean 🙂 Also I loved the dutchess!!!

Wench: Yessss

Jezebel: Do they ever talk about her being a spy again?

Wench: I don't think so aslkdfj

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ What about Cluzet?

Wench: Nope

Jezebel: Sheeesh loose threads! I’m still salty I didn’t get more Flort 🥺🥺 😂😂 I mean, I didn’t get much Port at all! He was just kinda there… For shame!

Wench: Let him recover from last episode. Oof- and prep for the next

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ recover from whatever they walked off t- wait, next episode? Is it bad?

Wench: Yes. I have to stay up and do some more work.. wanna do another? np if not

Jezebel: I’m 👀👀 hmmmmm…. Yes. I do

Wench: Aight :)

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #s01e04 #the good soldier

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: Commodities

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[I love this episode so much]

Issa pirate! Idk just looks like one [He's not tho]

Ahh great… Something’s gonna go wrong [Something always goes wrong alkdsfj]

Nvm the others are there

Nvm again

Oooop-

Well, she looks like she believes it

More pirates (Kidding)

Oh, man… So much is happening [You ain't seen nothing yet. But also… Chick be awesome]

Same, Flirt

They all stood in unison [Naturally]

He smol [This dude showed up in a CSI recently, fun fact]

Flirt, you have no right to be so into this

He sounds like puss in boots ☠️

Wot ["You must think we're stupid" Two seconds later "Terribly sorry, apparently we are"] D’Art has the sense here [You lack faith] 🙂

I- Oh. [:)] Tf [They're staging an escape, dingus] The musketeers are or just the two? [Emile/Maria]

😂😂😂 Got ‘em

[Milady is kinda transparent for an assassin] 😂😂😂😂 Very true

Oooof [Be prepared to hate Emile btw] Oooooooooof [This? This ain't nothing. Get ready for worse] Oh boy [Yup]

Oh noooo an ambush!

["No doubt your partner is a cheat and a swindler" Damn, Athos, don't hold back] Or how did he say it? “Well, that was straightforward”

Oh noooooo! Port! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Oooop soft music! longing stare! Flashback coming

[D'Art, read the freaking room… Aramis, you too]

Darts face like nah fam

Well damn [Gotta love the medicine of the time] He’s prepared

["I'm not a child" Convincingggggg] EXACTLY

I was gonna say it could be an OFMD fusion BUT Ed’s not incompetent

So this is France

[I love the scene with him walking through the doors 😭 The cinematography is so nice] 🥺🥺🥺🥺 And here’s the flashback [And look at his fancy outfit lkasjdflkadsjf 😭] Is this before he was a musketeers? [Yup]

Pause, quick question [Okay]

– – –

Jezebel: I’ll forget if I don’t say now. So D’Art… In the book was going to them to become a musketeer.

Wench: Right

Jezebel: But in this they changed it to he was avenging his dads death and he just kinda… stays to become a musketeer after

Wench: Ye

Jezebel: Do they explain why they changed it?

Wench: I don't think so.

Jezebel: Huh! 😂😂 ok anyway I was just curious about that

Wench: My guess is the excitement was the goal? And also, they were changing the story a lot anyway, so they didn't need to keep it all intact.

Jezebel: ‘Cause I was just thinking of Dart… like why is he even here he was just on a revenge mission? How did he get recruited after?

Wench: Well, in this case, it's implied that he just... came to respect the Musketeers. And probably got interested in a) the excitement/nobility of the career and b) Constance. Also, he might not have wanted to go back to Gascony after his dad died

Jezebel: Ahh yes you are not the bloodthirsty unjust murderers I thought you too be… also the job seems fun… lemme join you

Wench: Right

– – –

[Emile needs to shut up… "You must enjoy being here... must bring back all sorts of memories" DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE'S ENJOYING THIS?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooop- Flashback

☠️☠️☠️☠️ “Did someone punch me?” D’Art: nahhhhhhh

[ONCE AGAIN. PEOPLE. READ THE FRICKING ROOM]

Ooooop- wait. I just realized… I JUST REALIZEDDDD- [WOT] HE LOVES ATHOS’ LADDYYYYY! IT IS! [Good job, problem child alskdjf]

[I love Porthos]

What did you call him? Le gasp! [Huh?] The “self-taught man” but he said it in another name [Autodidact] Language [auto = self, didact = teacher] Before he said what it meant, I thought it was something mean

Oh my gawd the woman has returned [She’s cool] Ooooop- Le bitch!

["I knew I'd been punched" as;ldkfj I forgot that one] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Welp… she ded [For real that time] Yep

Now he ded [Yep]

Whooop Whoooop [D'Art the farm boy for the win! The sass of that nod laksdjf]

[Get ready to hate Bonnaire]

Now he’s been punched [He deserves it] Yeah, I agree (and I don’t even know yet)

Flirt: “and there goes my needlework”

Well, shit

Buddy… Port’s a beast he’s pushing through both of them! And he’s injured [‘Tis true]

Flirt 💕

– – –

Wench: Midpoint?

Jezebel: Yes

Wench: Have fun lkasdjf Like I said... this episode is split between Athos-centric and Porthos-centric, and I adore it. But also... I hate Emile with SUCH a fiery passion it's not even funny

Jezebel: I’m connecting my keyboard for this

Wench: Oh dear… The Jezebel equivalent of rolling up her sleeves

Jezebel: Ok so first off I’m feeling for Athos! ‘Cause 😦 bruh! The memories! Cause iirc he thinks Milady is dead right?

Wench: Yup. And… He thinks he killed her. Well, had her executed, but still; it's the equivalent of him killing her

Jezebel: So I reiterate 😦 AND! Omg FLORT (see what i did there) is continuing to be musketeer bros and I am living for it! Him being all “Port bby cannot travel in these conditions, Athos! Do you not care about him like I clearly do?!? 😍😠”

Wench: I knew you were gonna say that too :)

Jezebel: Then when they get back and Port found the papers and jumps on the guy he is just like… standing to the side. “Oh, no, who has angered my man- I mean oh no… my needle work… *side eye* thats… uh… for shame!” But hes not interfering much at all. He’s just standing there. like. When clearly just the two wasn’t holding him back easily

Wench: Right, I follow… I'm enjoying this section of the react, I want you to know. Much fun :)

Jezebel: Which, regardless of what I think it meant or what it really means, I think it makes it seem like Flirt is more a lover not a fighter… which is hilarious… ‘cause his job is a fighter.

Wench: Yeah :) He's also a priest, so he's completely a contradiction

Jezebel: And that brings me to… FUCK BONNAIRE!!! Oh, and D’Art and Milady… Has he realized yet?

Wench: Nope

Jezebel: Sweet lord… He just had to lift the torn picture. Buddy. Brain. Use it.

Wench: They don't figure it out until like. over halfway through the season.

Jezebel: OH SHIT OOOOOF! Well damn.

Wench: Ready?

Jezebel: Ready!

– – –

[Him referring to a "shopping list" is just- alsdkfja;lksdjf;lKJ;LAKSDJF;LKASDJF;LKASDJF asshole] Ew

Ah yes… Let’s justify slavery… because it totally will make me sound better [Oh, for sure. Especially while talking to a man whose mother had to escape slavery and couldn't have a decent life even afterwards] 😦

Don’t you cry and make people pity you!

She did indeed deserve a better man

Athos! [The drinking montage] The wine! You are spilling it!

Oh. Oh, shit. Ooooof. She uh… She favors Fern. She thinking about how his life is… what’s the quote? [Yours is a life truly blessed] Ye that one. Except it dont fit lol [What instead?] His is a life truly drunk and depressed [alsdkfj] Knew she reminded me of someone, and then the way she was scowling at him. I was like I know that scowl!

["What are you doing" What business is it of yours, D'Art? READ A ROOM] Read a field more like

[I love Aramis' sash] YESSS

["We should trust Athos to handle his own affairs" That is literally never a good idea. Buddy is good with anything BUT his own self-care.]

Oooop- He ded

Well, shit [Drinking montage pt 2] How he drink it so fast? I can barely sip it

*Sigh* alcoholi- ooop.

Maam, you and your types [Shush]

Ooooop-

No, she’s standing right there

Her scar… isss so smol. She is bitching about a scratch

[idk if you heard that, but he just called her "Anne." Tha's her real name]

“Do it” 😦 Ooooooooooooooof

Shit, the hubby and the lover

Poor Athos

😦

Well… the rum is gone. [Why is the rum gone!?!?!?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

["I refuse to arrive at the palace on an ass" No, you just want to arrive there being one.] Lol! [Oh, and also, "The rights of every man to some fair treatment" The irony]

Why is she being mean to married lady? Rude

DEVOUR! DEVOUR!!!! ACK! [Oof, did I scar you irrevocably with that film?] YES!

Oh but she’s a married womannnn 😮‍💨😂😂😂😂

Ooooop-

["She frightened me D'Artagnan" So she ought; she killed you in the book] Wooooot 😭😭 [Ma'am. I told you this, I swerr] Oh yeah [Good job]

These big ass empty echoey rooms… Seriously just let me at em! 😂😂 No more echo

Oooop, believe him, he’ll take you out to the woods

[Flort smirk-glance combo]

Ooooop 😦

[Be afraid. Be very afraid] He’s so smol… And port is so lorge… And Flirt won’t do a thing to stop it

Oop- [“Wanna bet?” (That's what the zoom-in on Athos meant… I’m just translating)] 🙂

[Y'all gonna kiss?] They might

Imma guess who the captain is: black suit guy [You'd be correct :)] Ooooop!

[Not them breaking the law again] 🙂 [I'm pretty sure all of Les Inseparables are Chaotic Good, just btw]

“Mind my needlework” Wonder where they are going

The end! Whoop whooooop

– – –

Jezebel: Errrmehgerd! That was a good episode!

Wench: Do you see what I mean about it being one of my favorites? :)

Jezebel: Yes I do! And AHHHHH Flort! Flirt and Port! Aramis and Porthos! I love you both!

Wench: asldkfj Well. At least you learned their names finally

Jezebel: Will they be used? Nah 🙂

Wench: *sigh*

Jezebel: But anyway! The end scene when they just waltz off like 👀👀👀 I wonder

Wench: askdfj You’re ridiculous (affectionate)

Jezebel: 🙂 But anyway BACK TO ATHOS! And the painnn!! I feel so bad for him 🥺🥺🥺

Wench: Good! My plan progresses as I intended :))))

Jezebel: Like idk if they are trying to make you pity Milady or see her point but… I just don’t. I don’t like her lol. He deserves better. AND. Back to Athos being so Dean coded it’s not even funny with his lemme keep my trauma bottled up and speaking of bottles… imma get drunk too

Wench: I told you... It was not going to be at all surprising that he was my favorite alskdj No, I'm not looking deeply at this

Jezebel: Mhmmmm but perhaps you should Wench, perhaps you shoulddddd!

Wench: Nevahhhh! Seems like a bad idea!

Jezebel: Gonna have to rewrite your character name

Wench: Oh no *sigh* What is it this time? Dareddeanifer was the last one, right? Alksdjflkafdj Good lord

Jezebel: Dareddeaniferthos

Wench: Dear lord

Jezebel: 😌😌

Wench: I still maintain you're seeing things that aren't thereeeee

Jezebel: Yeah yeah! And that’s all I got for endpoint, so… ‘til next time lol

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #s01e03 #commodities

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: Sleight of Hand

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Note: Wench was slightly absent for the first bit of the review, but her comments pick up as time progresses

– – –

He becomes a musketeer right? d’Art? [Maybe, maybe not] Fair enough

Oooof police brutality

Harvey Dent!

Well, damn... That’s a rat

I thought that was Jamie Kennedy [I don't know who that is] Movie whizz from first scream movie

You’ve heard about d’Art. Although you shouldn’t care cause you’re married. ☠️

Ooooop- He ded. Well, unless it’s a fuckery

Oooop! I was right

All the prisoners are going free

Isssa stampede

Well, damn [Thus why he said they'd just let him walk ou- Oh. He just said that, but whatever] Lol!

Ack

Oooooop Flirt is gonna be… flirting with the queen next [Not telling]

I thought he was gonna kiss her ☠️☠️☠️ [I think he almost did] Buddy you’re gonna get her shot in the woods too, dammit!

Well, I mean she was just behind the door. ☠️😂

[Only half?]

What kinda of idiot would overlook that?

Um, sir, you underestimate him [I can't tell whether to suggest that you meant 'underestimate her' or 'overestimate him'... this is d'Art and Milady we're talking about: two ends of the competence spectrum]

ACK! ACKKKKK! NOOOOO! JUST TELL EM THE TRUTH! ACK! ACKACKACK! [It's important to consider at all times, btw, that their medicine sucks. Gangrene is still a concern, so any tiny wound is problematic. Any hand injury basically ruins it, for example, which would devastate a swordsman like Athos. A head/eye injury would spell doom for Aramis the marksman. Et cetera.] Ack 😖😖😖😖

I 😂😂😂😂 I swear. I thought y’all were just joking about d'Art being dumb. But it’s a running thing in the show too. I love it

Porthos like well damn. This little hoe [Did you see his expression tho? She said "bravest of the king's musketeers" and he goes (while bowed) bitch wtf???? And then Aramis goes "only among the bravest" and he goes "better”] Yes ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Buddy you and the married women

“The one you supposed to give me!” Flirt

Oooooof He is going to get some… Uh- ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [He keeps kissing her for cover] DAMMIT DART SHE IS MARRIED

THE LIP BITE

😩😩😩😩 this woman! [Def stupid, my dear]

This man!

Did, uh.. did no one see the musketeers show up… and go in the house where he is [Don't think too hard abt it] 😂😂😂

“What do you suggest?” Something stupid of course

[Flirt keep getting slapped]

But she is happily married. So loyal. Much faithful. Very… in love with d’Art

[Many; d’Art dum]

What could possibly go wrong

Oooop-

Buddy. It only takes one turn to see it’s locked

[Oh he'll definitely buy Milady’s self-defense claim now (not)]

This woman kisses so strange

Bruh. She just vamoooshed

"No one saw me" except like 10 people

– – –

Jezebel: Main thought. I see what everyone means about d'Art. Buddy. There’s just no brain in that head

Wench: This is why he be my least favorite

Jezebel: Normal Anon’s too 😂😂 And will likely be mine. Cause 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 stupid characters in shows like this… get people killed. I worry

Wench: I think he manages to avoid that actually

Jezebel: Thank god ☠️☠️

Wench: But like I said… Mostly only one important death that I recall

Jezebel: From the whole show?

Wench: Yeah, that I can think of. Again, there might be things I forgot or you might find a character more important than I do and thus mourn when they die. But I doubt it

Jezebel: 💀💀💀

Wench: Also, yeah, literally… d’Art and Aramis are both idiots tbh

Jezebel: Fair ☠️☠️☠️ And Athos hasn’t really been prevalent this one.

Wench: This is true… But he did have badass fight scene. Technicallyyyyy

Jezebel: But erm… Flirt and Port be Uh. They be… welp.

Wench: alskfdj I knew you’d say that. Overall character ranking? (tbh, it's valid to have a favorite, least favorite, and tied for high second… that’s what I have)

Jezebel: In decreasing order! Flirt -> Port -> Athos (idk his name just spells easy) -> Married lady -> Dumdart

Wench: How dare you

Jezebel: Nooo Athos was supposed to be before Port actually

Wench: askdfj I’m skeptical

Jezebel: I was thinking Port

Wench: Mmmhmm. This feels like you’re lying now, ngl

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ Fair… But I’m not 😂😂😂

Wench: Final ranking, then?

Jezebel: Flirt -> Athos (idk his name just spells easy) -> Port -> Married lady -> Dumdart

Wench: Aight, on with the show!

– – –

*OMINOUSLY opens fan* “I don’t remember” Yeahhhh ok lady

[Chickadee's flirting with Flirt… You gonna let that stand? :)] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Everybody flirts with Flirt

I’m just waiting for someone crazy to do it. Like Cardinal. That would be crazy [It would be, but also strategically unwise... the Cardinal only gets power because of his influence over/relationship with the King]

Poor queen

["My father never shirked public appearance, no matter the threat" "Your father was assassinated" aslkdfjlk]

That logic… Is very stupid

Im such a hoarder; that castle would be filledddddd… It looks so empty

[Also, to be completely fair... This basically does sum up a lot of Athos' character. (re: your earlier statement that he's not been prominent in it) He very much is a duty-/honor-driven character, so he's often the one focused on the mission. There are exceptions, but he's usually the "sensible" one] Good good! Someone has to be! [As I said, there's a reason I liked him asldkfj] We got Flirt flirting with everyone, Port flirting with Flirt, and d’Art being an airhead

[Imagine being that pressed about a single diamond with as much money/privilege as the King has alksdj] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Why is Port’s hat so big!? Sheeesh! 😂😂😂😂 [And why is he holding the paper out into the rain 😭] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooooop- [Good job, d'Art, that went well asdlkfj] Sweet lord ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooooof… That’s the gunpowder, right? [That’s the gunpowder] Oh, man

Kaboom

d’Art’s like. Well shit

[Tbf, I don't fullyyyyy blame him for this. I called Vadim's plan the first time I watched it, but still]

Bruh, my nerveessss can’t handle shit like this! 😂😂😂 and I know he ain’t about to die

[Did you hear who called out for Aramis, btw?] Port buddyyyyy

Sweet lord… My anxiety is going crazy

Runnnnnn Dumdart!! Runnnn!!!

Kabooooom! [Indeed]

[Bruh, hold up.... that was the diamond from Sherlock Holmes aldkfj] Wot?!

Welp she ded

He ded [Poor Felix :(]

They not ded tho! [Indeed!]

Isss a ghost! [I knew you were gonna say that alksdfj]

Isss a d’Art! [I did not know you were gonna say that aslkfdj]

I really hope he says at some point “I’m a musketeer.” Since they said soooo many damn times “I’m not a musketeer.” [He's not yet tbf… He has to earn a commission from the King]

Again I repeat (since you didn’t react to it earlier ☹️) Harvey Dent [*simultaneously* That was indeed very Two-Face… That was exactly how Dent died in... What, Dark Knight?]

– – –

Jezebel: Did the cardinal have a part in this? Trying to kill the king?

Wench: Nope. To be honest, it's really unwise for him to kill the King. For one thing, a lot of his power comes from his relationship with that specific King. First, I think a new king could unseat him as First Minister (though I'm not fully sure). But also, Louis is easily manipulated, whereas another king might not be. Also, more importantly, there technically isn't another King. That's a bit problem in this season, in fact; kingship passes on by bloodline, but Louis/Anne don't have a son, so, if Louis dies, succession is a serious issue. All in all, the Cardinal Does Not Want the king to die

Jezebel: Ahhhh I see 🙂 ‘Cause I was confused af why he didn’t seem like a bad guy this one (He was talking to the musketeers and stuff)

Wench: Yeah... he's not really bad. In general, I mean? He's pretty true neutral, actually.

Jezebel: Minus killing the woman

Wench: No, even then… That doesn’t automatically rule out true neutral. True neutral means that you don't really care if you're following the law or not, if you're being good or bad; it's a pretty self-centered stance, at least in my experience. He really does care about the state staying preserved/not dissolving into chaos… but his perception of what's good for the state governs his actions. And his personal goals center around his own power/influence. In his eyes, Adele betrayed him; thus he harms her. In his eyes, tearing down the king's guard by framing Athos is good because that leaves the king more reliant on him, so he can ensure that the state progresses according to what he thinks is right (and he gets more power). He's highly neutral. So you'll have episodes like the last episode where he's the villain, and episodes like this one where he's working to protect the king. Even the most villainous Richelieu gets? He's still not really... evil (still in D&D terms). He's acting the way he thinks his best for him/France. Whether it's true or not is a separate question, but yeah. He doesn't really care what he has to do to achieve those goals, so he's not actively trying to make the world better/worse. He manipulates the system, but breaks the law whenever the reward outweighs the risk. He's trying to preserve himself, and France by extension.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ well that’s makes a lot of sense! I was so confused ☠️😂😂

Wench: Yup! Btw I am STOKED for next episode… A lot is Athos-centric :) (And the rest is Porthos-centric, which is also awesome... though also sad)

Jezebel: Ooooo! 🙂 yusssss! I want to see Athos' character moreeee! 🙂 I still love Aramis! But I am ready for next episode too now to start loving Athos

Wench: Highly disappointed you don't already love him; for shame! The intro scene was freaking priceless, I'll have you know! And at least he doesn't make horrible decisions like flirting with the literal Queen!

Jezebel: You are not wrong 🙂 shush

Wench: Nevahhhh

Jezebel: Anyway… I just 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 I just don’t understand stand. The urge. Like I don’t dislike sex. At all. It’s quite nice actually ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ BUT I don’t understand people getting themselves in these predicaments with it like! YOU HAVE HANDS 😤😮‍💨☠️ Control yourself! Same with d’Art! And his little whatever he has with Married Lady. And then the whatever he has with Milady. And it’s just. Sir.

Wench: alskdjf All very fair

Jezebel: And I love how d’Art was just borderline incompetent the whole episode. (I know that’s a bit over dramatic) but he was just careless with shit, and then just miraculously almost easily beats the guy in the final ghostly showdown ☠️☠️☠️

Wench: I definitely get it... and it kinda continues. He's consistently the young, less competent one, but he's meant to be... you know, endearing. He's learning, too, if I'm fair. Which I make it a point never to be, but shhh (/hj)

Jezebel: Like the whole episode was just selectively DumDart like managing to get in with the bad guy then making every dumb decision after he does (or so he thinks he does… which he should have never just assumed the guy believed him anyway! Like he said he could read a person’s eyes. And he knew he was lying there so he should have smelled the bullshit ☠️😂)

Wench: Right (I can tell you’re still typing so I’ll respond at the end)

Jezebel: And d’Art, who we already know is just very him, has got this weird will they/won’t they thing going with Married Lady. And his blind fascination with the other lady (Milady)… who framed him for murder

Wench: This is very true

Jezebel: Then you got Flirt who just loved a married woman to her death (even though he doesn’t know it yet) then decides “you know what will take my mind off her…. Another married woman!” BUT NOT JUST ANY MARRIED WOMAN… THE QUEEEEEEN

Wench: asdflkjaldskfj Yeah :)

Jezebel: Port was very quiet this ep. But his hat is large and I love it!

Wench: alskdjflakdsjf

Jezebel: And Athos was quiet too. But probably ‘cause he was contemplating finding a new career path because his comrades are all a little slow in the brain.

Wench: This is basically their dynamic throughout the show, to be fair. Literally, it's a resting state.

Jezebel: Poor Athos ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: I adore him

Jezebel: I love it! 😂😂 Next episode tomorrow? 🙂

Wench: YESSSSSS

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #s01e02 #sleight of hand #portamis #<still kinda light but we’re getting there #jezebel’s already got fics planned #not a joke

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

The Musketeers Reaction: Friends and Enemies

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

You sure you don’t need to rest buddy? You’re huffing pretty hard

[Also, they had the horseshoe upside down; no wonder shit goes wrong (Spoiler: shit goes wrong)]

I wouldn’t know which is which 😀

Ah! Your boo! [Ma'am, do you really think I'd adore a person who steals and kills peop- oh.] …. Yes [You know what- Just watch the show, woman]

[Also, btw... "d'Artagnan" is not pronounced the way they pronounce it. It's not "Dart-an-yun." It's "Dart-en-yaw" ish. Rough phonetics because idk but it's roughly that] Well now neither of those look even remotely correct. Gah damn ancient times 🙂 [Edit: someone mentioned that this might be intentional? To show he comes from outside the "posh" part of town? idk if that's the case, but it's an interesting theory]

[Hold up… ad.] Okay! [Bruh these ads are so long] 😂😂😂 [BRUH IT CHANGED TO CSI Hold up] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ CSI said you ain’t cheating on it with the musketeers [lkjsaldakfjadsf]

Wait, Peter Capaldi? [Yup!] Sounds familiar [12th doctor]

[This is Athos] 😱😱 I already said he favors Daryl… right? [Yes. I think. But ‘tis true]

Sir [I love him] No need to be rude to the water [alskdjf It was ice] Oh ☠️

[And this be Porthos] Oh shit! So these are the three musketeers? [No… Those are the two Musketeers and d'Artagnan. The third Musketeer ain't been along yet] Oooooh

[This is Aramis. He’s the third. (And yes… he’s "that stupid")] Well damn ☠️😂

Damn I need a corset… these cheap ass bras can’t compare ‘Tis trueeee

[Also, to be clear… He's having an affair with the mistress ot the Cardinal. One of the most important people in France. The King's main advisor. Just to put that in perspective. That’s why Athos said “Tell me he’s not that stupid”] Oh. Well SHIT 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😂😂😂 [Also, that's Peter Capaldi] Yeah I recognized him immediately

How he not see him?!

Ahh the gang’s all together!

Ahhh, love [“Or lust”] Ye, lol ["Oh look: a man, pretending to acknowledge the difference" - Ten Inch Hero]

[I love Athos] 😂😂😂

“Any lice or crabs?” ☠️

Why am I getting Izzy vibes off the Doctor? [I mean. You should… I’m getting them too alskdjf] 😂😂😂 [It’s the Cardinal tho… Since I'm assuming you don't wanna spell Richelieu every time] Ye! I don’t ☠️☠️☠️ it wouldn’t turn out nice

Oh is that The Milady? [I say nothing]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Adele tipping her hand here]

Ack [Technically, she was "undressed" in the first scene… Corset + petticoat = scandalous]

Wellll… Cannnnn you trust her?

Well damn… This show is just crazy

Pause! ADDDDD [Is it an ad for Scream? Because we might have the same on- MATTHEW LILLARDDDDDDDD] NO *sigh* 🙁 [How dare] FOUR FUKCING ADDDDSS [Yup] CRIMINAL MINDSSSS [RUDE] THE NEW ONE [I got Star Trek tho so… I win]

OH I SEE WHATS HAPPENING! le gasp… Imposters

That ribbon around her neck is giving the girl with the green ribbon vibes [I seeeee! *has no clue what that means*] You donttttt knowwww that boook? 😱 [Nope. WATCH THE SHOW]

Buddy. You. Really. Came out. WITH A BLOODY KNIFE. [alskfdj Yup. I never said d'Art was smart. Well, wise, but shh; the rhyme was important]

[Love herrrr]

Ooooop he ded [Buddy's not doing too hot]

[Ma'am fingering her ring like it'll take away her Impure Thoughts about d'art. It will not] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[Get ready for this Inigo Montoya-ass shit] 😂😂😂😂

“You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

"We weren't going to kill him" [*simultaneously* "We weren't going to kill him" "Weren't we?" "Next time let us know!"] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[The way Richelieu’s eyes widen on "murder" tho a;lkdsfj]

They were like oh shit they drug us into this [They're kinda idiots tho. What kind of criminal goes around like "oh, yeah, here's my name and rank! Come arrest me!"] EXACTLY

BRUH [Ruh roh]

[Pause! Ad] I got one too lol [I think it depends on time stamp for PlutoTV. We'll probably line up perfectly for the most part. Also… Jeremy Renner!] Oh, I got Renner too! [Mayor of whatever it is?] Yes. [Countttt!] Midpoint? [Oh. Okay! I forgot those existed… DO ITTTTT] 😂😂😂😂

– – –

Jezebel: We could not live in these times… Our bad luck would get the whole family executed with these rules ☠️

Wench: aldskjf That's true! The trials kinda. Suck

Jezebel: Also idk why I didn’t automatically think the guy was an imposter at the beginning lol… I was like oooof! Is this like… are his hands tied and he has to do this? Orrr??

Wench: Nope :) Athos was too busy drinking and getting a hangover and half drowning himself to be robbing and murdering. Not that he would do it anyway, it must be said.

Jezebel: Imma go on and make the prediction that the Doctor Cardinal had hired the imposters

Wench: :))) I say nothingggg!

Jezebel: Really, that’s all I can think of rn! But I’m enjoying it!

Wench: OIIIII! THE CHARACTERS! You must at least address Athos, please, I beg. (But also. I'd appreciate you discussing the main four laksdjf)

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂 I definitely understand why Athos is your favorite

Wench: My beloved! And you haven't even seen much yet

Jezebel: Lol!! And the other two are hilarious! Especially the flirty one! ☠️☠️

Wench: Aramis?

Jezebel: Ye

Wench: alkdsjflaksdjf So... this is a show based loosely around a book. When we get to endpoint, I'm telling you some Things, but I want to let you get the impression of the show first

Jezebel: And d’Art(I’m not even trying) is clearly young. His common sense is lacking ☠️

Wench: Precisely… Wait 'til I tell you about the book :)

Jezebel: 💀💀💀💀 Also… I feel like this picture pretty much sums up the king ☠️☠️

Wench: asdlkfj Accurate

Jezebel: And I love that Treville stands up for Athos! Instead of just believing he’s guilty

Wench: So, that's a thing... He’s kinda SPN Bobby. And he’s basically father figure to the Three + d’Art (eventually known as Les Inseparables, or The Inseparables) and they are basically his kids. (And I wanna say this is especially true for Athos, but I could be wrong with that bit) So this is basically his son going off to be executed

Jezebel: Ahhh! 🙂 lol

Wench: Also… The music might sound familiar. Not fully, but like in that haunting way where you think you've heard it before but can't place it? That’s because the theme and (I think) some of the score was done by Murray Gold (aka the guy who did Doctor Who's score during the bits you've seen)

Jezebel: Both are BBC right?

Wench: Yes. And you'll notice a lot of overlap. You remember Mr. Blue Sky dude? Elton?

Jezebel: Ack! Yes

Wench: He's a villain in a later season named Rochefort

Jezebel: Ahhh! I see 🙂 Also, I want to do the next episode like noon tomorrow if you can! So I’m not tired 😂😂 cause I’m enjoying this and I want to more consciously enjoy it lol!

Wench: Sounds good!

Jezebel: Ready?

Wench: Yup!

– – –

Ooooop! [Louis, panicking: "I am not panicking"] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[This mf]

Why would his body still be at the inn ☠️☠️☠️ [Why wouldn't it? lakdsjf] B-because it’s an inn [And? Ya stick the dead bodies wherever there's space alkdsjf] “Oh don’t mind the body… Scuffle this morning. It’ll decompose in time. All good. Cheerio!” [Basically!]

[Fun lil character scene! And by fun I mean Trauma (™)] Le gasp

The- He really left ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [alksdjflkdjf he did]

The womannnn! Double crosssser

Oh shit. They just all dead! Tf? [Yup! Like I said: stick the bodies where ya can] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[btw... Musketeers = King's guard. Red Guard = Cardinal's troops. They're warring groups] Ahhhhh! I see

Sir we know you’re in a massive library, so big there’s echo. But you don’t have to scream

Lol ☠️☠️☠️ [:))) I love Porthos and Aramis too! It's not quiteeee to the same degree, but I adore them] Yesss! Flirt gives me Hook vibes. Just like he looks like him. [Similar, yes. There's some subtle difference or something (since I haven't hyperfixated on him) but yes] 😂😂😂

He turned into a dog

Oooop- [Constance, my beloved] He’s been duped [I really wanna know what happened to make her so friendly to Athos, ngl. That was a really scandalous thing she just did]

Surprise is everything…. *two seconds later* Surprise would have been everything

[Also, did I mention that Constance is badass? Because she is] No, you didn’t, but I love it

Get him d’Artinigo! [... Ma’am] That took so fucking long to type cause I couldn’t spell Inigo. ☠️ [OH THAT'S- laksjdflkadsjf I thought it was just a typo] 😂😂😂

Well, shit

Ma’am! You were the one flirtinggggg and ring-twirling

[Heh heh heh. You remember the formula for my faves? Because um. Heh. Heh heh Man be a bittttt uncaring about safety.] *sigh*

Kid’s like yeahhhhh about before. Sorry [He got an Athos Nod(™)] 🙂 [Athos Nod(™)s be important because man doesn't speak and he's gotta show respect somehow alskdjf] That’s fair! ☠️☠️☠️ *sigh*

Ooooooof. Well, damn, ma’am [Yup] DAMN That’s dark af [Yep]

Buddy… That’s your story now too

Ooooop- Bruh, he is just mordorring [Makes you wonder why he needs Milady as an assassin] Oh shit

Did he kill her with ol’ dude’s gun? [I don't think so]

Oh shit [Milady is such an interesting character, goodness] I don’t .. are the priests allowed to say that ☠️ [They're not supposed to, but I guess they can]

– – –

Jezebel: That shit was WILD! 😂😂😂 I really do like it tho!

Wench: GOOD

Jezebel: Poor Adele!

Wench: Yeah... She does get mentioned again, though. It takes a bit, but she does. She doesn't just get forgotten

Jezebel: My brain’s kinda all over the place… But poor Athos too!

Wench: You should go into more detail there :) (Yes, I am going to try to sway you into Athos favoritism! It's fine if you like the others more, but you need to know that this is happening. My beloved!!!)

Jezebel: Loool! Idk I really like Flirt!! 😂😂😂 but yeah I’ll probably fall for Athos before long 😂

Wench: Aramis? THEN THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS LEARN HIS NAME

Jezebel: Flirt, Aramis, same name different font… and spelling, shush

Wench: But nah, tbh, you might well end up liking Aramis better. Most people do, judging by what I've seen in the fandom, but I admit it's not a fully reliable poll

Jezebel: I like his and Porthos’s relationship. Also idk. I say personality but I haven’t seen MUCH of it yet. I just can tell from what I’ve see I’ll like him. If that makes sense 👀☠️

Wench: Yeah, I get it

Jezebel: Also, married gal and d’Art are cute. Even if she is married and he is googly-eyeing priest killer

Wench: Constance is awesome, I agree. And, tbh, Milady is super cool, even if homicidal

Jezebel: Fair! Also… The cardinal can go suck eggs in hell with Izzy. ☠️☠️ And the king. Is a child. Like most kings are

Wench: It gets worse

Jezebel: And… Honestly I can’t think of more so share away about the book

Wench: OKAY SO. First off, I need to explain introductions of each of the characters. They changed this for the show, and, as I said in this post (here), I appreciate the new version but also mourn the loss because. d'Art, instead of trying to avenge his father, is actually going to Paris to become a Musketeer. On the way, he stops at an inn and, while there, a dude disses his horse. Despite the fact that no, actually, he doesn't much like his horse, and has been bemoaning being stuck with it since he started out, he now has to challenge dude to a duel. Then, he loses.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Fast-forward to when he gets to the Garrison: he arrives just in time to hear Porthos/Aramis giving a report to Treville (which features the fact that Athos has gotten severely wounded in a fight, fun fact). Fast-forward a little more, d'Art is mid-talking to Treville about possibly getting a job there when he sees the dude outside his window and is like... Damn this job interview; I must pursue the man who insulted the horse I insulted myself not two days ago. (d'Art and his horse is a very "no one is mean to them but me" situation)

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Anyway, in the process of trying to track down this dude, he: a) literally runs head-first into Athos (aggravating his, did I mention, Severe wound in the process) and refuses to apologize, thus getting challenged to a noon duel; b) runs past Porthos and discovers something a bit embarrassing, and then proceeds to taunt Porthos about it for no reason, thus getting challenged to a one o’clock duel; and c) after losing the guy he was trying to hard to follow (AND. LITERALLY WHILE HE IS TALKING ABOUT BEING LESS HOT-HEADED. Because he’s realized he just got duel challenges from two Musketeers.) he comes across Aramis, accidentally exposes the fact that he’s having an affair with a married woman (not Adele), and thus gets challenged to a two o’clock duel. And all of this while running down a single stretch of road ☠️

Jezebel: My little clueless buddy… At least show!him is not quite THAT clueless

Wench: OH AND. They're all each other's seconds, so they all show up to Athos' duel and are like. Wait. Wot. Buddy got in a fight with all three of us? And it swiftly becomes apparent that yes, he did. Within the span of fifteen minutes. AND. This is all forgotten because then the Red Guard show up and are like "Oh, hold up, you're dueling? That's against the rules! Let us arrest you" and it turns into a duel.

Jezebel: 😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Anyway... the book follows a different plot from the show, but I'm not sure I can fully enumerate how. The Athos/Milady backstory is pretty accurate, but her fate changes between the two. (And across the other adaptations, which I also might make you watch, just btw.) I think Constance existed in the book but Milady kills her? If I recall correctly. (Very different plotline from the show, I'll tell you that now.) Aramis, btw — as hasn't been developed in-show yet, but is hilarious — is both a womanizer and deeply religiously devout. He literally goes over to a woman's house to teach her Bible study

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: And they study the Bible by studying God's gift of each other's bodies

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: And. I think the final thing that I haven't yet said. The author of this book? (The Three Musketeers?) Is the same dude who wrote The Count of Monte Cristo. He's one of if not my favorite author. I read The Man in the Iron Mask too (which is the sequel to this book), but I hatedddddd it. Not because of the writing, which was impeccable as ever, but because of what he did to the characters 😭

Jezebel: I’ve seen the one with Leo DiCaprio

Wench: Yeah, that's.... That's a story. That's a very happy story. Relatively. If I recall correctly. Only one of them dies. In the book. One of them gets exiled. And the others. All. Fucking. Die. I sat there on the couch reading it and sobbing my eyes out because my dude killed off Athos' son, and then had Athos die of grief-tinged-old-age afterward. The fucking pain.

Jezebel: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ACK

Wench: He had a vision about it before the messenger even arrived btw

Jezebel: Ooooof 🥺🥺

Wench: I cried. So fucking hard. I legit did not recover for too long.

Jezebel: Well damn!! 😦 ack

Wench: Basically, in the book version, Aramis plots to replace the king with his twin, as was done in the film, but instead of it being successful, the king gets let back out of prison and takes over the throne again. Aramis and Porthos go on the run, but Porthos dies in the process and Aramis is then essentially in exile, and d'Art dies in battle at the very end. And Athos, as I said, has the above fate. Still love Dumas, but he betrayed me with that

Jezebel: 💔💔💔💔

Wench: Anyway... comparably, the show is much lighter. Is the good news! And I think that’s all the book ranting I have.

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: Next episode tomorrow?

Jezebel: YES!

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #i think i'll probably mostly tag these with just the characters?#idk #we'll play it by ear #s01e01 #friends and enemies #portamis #technically only a little but it plants the seeds #the other reacts in the series are much heavier in it #flort #<jezebel’s name for them

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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Hello, folks! We've got another update for y'all! Given the fact that I (@scripted-downfall) have fallen back into my The Musketeers fixation, I have staged the ultimatum that @typicalopposite must watch the show! We'll be adding these in amongst our other reactions from here on out :) One should be going up sometime tomorrow, assuming all goes according to plan!

All other reaction series are still ongoing (i.e. NCIS, Dark Angel, Stranger Things); we're just adding on. We're also taking suggestions should you have them. All the best!

#jezebel (pr)#musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #i'll tag the individual episode reactions with character names but it feels like lying to list them here #reactions #episode reactions #reaction announcements

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

My… “friend.” Sureeee, Watson

[Out of curiosity. Do you know the name "Reichenbach"?] It looks familiar ☠️ but idk what it is ☠️☠️☠️ [Aight] 👀 why tho lol [I- Uh. You'll see] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Ok lol

SHELOCKKK

This woman! Hmph! See, the women in their lives suck. That’s why they should just be together [I want to show you a thing btw] Ok 🙂 [Here! (below)... Bros. Man's alleged love interest is literally. Right there. And the bros are staring at each other] 😂😂😂😂 I love ittttt

Buddy… the bald cap

[I know they’re whistling, but… Men will make kissy faces at each other] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Why were they whistling? ['Cause. Just 'cause] Ah ☠️☠️☠️

I’m ded [No, I think they are (jk)] ☠️☠️☠️ Very true. But I meant the jump

Tut!

[Man's a bit of a dumbass laskjfd How much clearer can you get than "don't move"]

A bomb! Le gasp

I love her! (The actress not the character) [I mean, the character's fun too] She is! (Just them together is not… well 🙂 you know 😉 )

[Oop- man died anyway. But took a lot fewer people with him, so. That's good.]

Oh shit, she scurrrd

He’s such a good actorrrrr [I knowwww]

He kill her? [I say nada] Le gasp!

Well. Now I feel bad

He done got stood up and widowed (kinda)

[Oh look, it's Watson and "our dog"]

Wait ☠️☠️☠️☠️ They are at Baker Street? [Holmes is. Watson's moved out, I think] It sounded like he was calling Mary tho [aslkdjf]

Buddy. You’ve been shot

This man is insane

["I've barely noticed your absence" Mmmhmm] ☠️☠️☠️ [Buddy was lying in wait to surprise you, but of course he didn't notice a thing]

WATSON! You Are Shot! Have the actors forgotten?

[Oh, I lied. Apparently he's getting married tomorrow]

“Embrace me.” “EMBRACE ME” I fucking will be using that the day we meet!

[I love lil string maps]

Le gasp!

["A shadowy game" Title drop (ish)]

Buddy. BUDDDY!

How is he still alive? [I don't know... Formaldehyde will literally destroy your stomach]

["Our dog"]

The smileee

["WILL YOUR BEARD BE WITH US ALL NIGHT" CONTEXT?!?!? WHAT'S CONTEXT?!?!?!] ☠️☠️☠️

The glasses 😂😂

“Armageddon!” Mood Holmes moood

Poor Sherlock [Holmes still raging, raging, against the dying of their best bro bud bachelorship]

Is that Mycroft? [idk, but I think so] So do I. Funny… Mycroft in Enola Holmes looks like Watson

Welp

He calls him Shirley tho… I love it [:) The temptation to make an Airplane reference]

“Not a ponce” ["You know me" alksdjflkadsjfa That's all you need, Watson, don't you know?]

Watson. You are being too trusting with that ring that’s been lost how many times already?

[:((((((( Watson so mean] Yes… He was very rude

[I like her :) Noomi Rapace] She looks like Mary… I was confused

Shawn/Sherlock same thing [This is indeed an apt comparison] They way he just did that was sooooo much like Psych

[Ouch] Oooof

Well, shit, eggs sounding pretty good rn [Ma'am. This is a scene about beating a dude up… And you're more concerned with brekkie] I mean— 😁

“She was biting my leg”

Poor Watson ☠️☠️☠️

Ah yes [alskdjf I know where you're going with that alskdjf] Let us hold hands while we walk to my wedding ‘cause that’s what bros do

Awwwww

Poor Sherlock… again [*simultaneously* Poor Sherlock ]

💔💔💔 “Watson… he gone” [:( ]

AGAIN. SIR! SIRE! THE TENSION! and for why!?

Le gasp! [Sir's gonna regret threatening his best bro bud]

“Poor Sherlock” times like 50000

I just… don’t like her ☠️☠️☠️ [I assume the her is Mary?] It’s like she is only even here to be in the way 😩😩 [IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON] Tsch tsch tsch :)

[Is that a gun or are you just happy to se-]

☠️ [Okay, tbf, she was pretty damn cool there] Yeah that’s true!

Um. [:)]

Idk I guess I’m just overly understanding but I hate situations like this where hubby’s bf shows up and like there’s actually a good reason and the new wife is all OMG IM SO DISTRAUGHT THIS WAS OUR big day. And I get it a little but at the same time I don’t ☠️ same happens with wives of husbands with dangerous or demanding jobs being bitchy when he has to leave for work. It frustrates me.

😂😂😂

He threw her off the train. HE THREW HER OFF THE TRAIN! and I get it was to save her but I’m ded

“Did you just kill my new wife?” Sounds a lot like this isn’t the first time ☠️☠️☠️

Sirs

😂😂😂 So much is happening

Also. The photo I just paused on. (below) I’m Ded. DED! DECEASED!!! I REPEAT SIRS ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ I. Am. DED

Buddy. There’s no need to be so in character in the bathroom. Where no one can se— Ah I give up he’s insane

[Sir. Sir. Was that a stick-and-some-grenades or are you just happy to se-] In👏🏼Sane👏🏼

[Sir.] SIR.

THIS MAN AND HIS EXPLODING LIPSTICKS

WATSON HE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT

Once more!

He looks like joker [I KNOW] Heath ledger one [I gathered]

I was gonna say poor Sherlock, and then he sniffed the bloody rag, and ack! And then… He Ed tossed it off the boat! So ok, poor Sherlock! [asdfklajsflkjf Also he looked at Watson first. He gave up the memory of his love interest while staring at Watson] 😭😭😭😭

Oh no not “violated” [alskdjf] They did enough of that on the train [ALSKDJF]

The laugh! I’m dead

[Bickering bros. Married vibes] Lovers Jusssssst bros

Funny side story my dad got robbed by gypsies one time [aslkdfj well damn] Him and his cousin. The women seduced em, got em drunk, and robbed em blind 😂😂 ☠️☠️

Speak of the gypsy… I’m ded

Wot is this fucking movie? Nope, that's it: it’s a bloodline thing… They are all insane

This screen is cutting it mighty close

I like this Mycroft! He a lot less assholish! [This is true. Just a little more... nekked (I assume)] Scratch that he’s just— well yes lol But he’s way better. Only good thing the other one does is allow Sherlock to be Enola’s caregiver

Well damn

Ahh more ofmd vibes with the hidden passage [How dare you] Wot 👀☠️ [Bring up the pain of that show] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Twice] 😁😁 Not my fault [Mmmhmm] I say what I see

Le gasp He’s been had

Oooooof ‘Splosion

[I love her hair] YESSSS

Well… is she takes Irene’s place they will just be dating different fonts of the same person [aslkdfjalksdjf I mean. you're not wrong]

[Um. Um. Sherlock gave up his handkerchief (sign of past love interest) while looking at Watson; Watson gave up his scarf (sign of current wife) while looking at Holmes] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Poor Sherlock

😂😂😂

Wait Wot. Sir. “Why would I want something I couldn’t control bobbing around between my legs” SIR

ALSO THIS MAN IS ON A FUCKING PONY IM DYING [Please don't; 'twould be a shame] 😂😂😂

This man and kicking in doors

Oooooop he’s been got

Buddy. Why. Would. You. Drink. It. Then again his body is probably just immune by now

Ack. ACKKKKK. ACKKKKK

[Now you'll understand why this song playing on my dryer is so fecking creepy] Slasher flick ptsd [alsdkfj] Yes! Cause he is fucking creepy

Ooooo that got Watson up [*simultaneously* Also, the thing that motivates Watson most is the screams over the intercom, just to point out] 🙂 [aslkfdj]

["To whom" Love you for that Moriarty] Lol! [Sorry, but the grammar obsessed me is happy by that]

Ooooooooop

[btw, this whole scene between Sherlock and Watson... I think it has Vibes. It's been a bit, but I'm pretty sure] Well damn. [Yup, I was right] 🥺🥺🥺💕 ["Always good to see you Watson" and the hand on his arm and the-]

“You didn’t find me; you collapsed a building on me”

Oh shiiiit that’s scurry lol

😦 [:(] Well damn

Oooop- He ded

Watson, he needs a kiss

Oh, wait… He’s got that thing! The thing he used on the dog! [It's called an adrenaline shot, dear lakdsjf] Ack [It's also called his wedding gift]

The fucking run

Ouch

Oh god they are gonna be fun to write [I've come to the conclusion I have to do something too]

[*Sherlock mutters* Watson: "Be nice" Sherlock (essentially): "Fineeee"]

Wot the fuck is that house

☠️☠️☠️ No pressure

Nooooooo. NOOOOOOOOO!!!???! [:)] I’m dying

Why. Are they dancing. Still? [To be. Subtle] Of course

Yes, yes… So very subtle

[They're so. This. Bruhhhh] Oh it’s not their first dance

Well he ded [Poor Simza]

I’m ded… His disguises [:) One of my favorite bits from the original stories]

[Y'all gonna kiss?] ☠️☠️☠️ They might [I joke but also I don't]

☠️☠️ [Lestradeeeee] 🙂

[This is important. This is why I asked if you knew what Reichenbach means. It's a place, but it's significant for a reason]

Oh shit [Yup! He took over the monologue! And did bad things with it!] Oh shiiiit The end

Bruh. BRUH. BROS [He kept his eyes shut. The last thing he saw... was Watson] I KNOW. I KNOW. I FUCKING KNOW

ACK

🙂 I was about to kill you. Just so you know. [I figured]

– – –

Wench: So, before your endpoint, I need to express just how much this story fucked me up. I was a kid and we had a picture book. "The Final Problem" it was called, and it was the story of Holmes and Moriarty and the Reichenbach Falls. This was the cover. (below)

Jezebel: Well damn!!

Wench: And when I tell you. That that fucking book. Made me cry. (Makes me cry, if the time is right.) Every. Fucking. Time.

Jezebel: Ack! Imma need them to get serious about the third movie now

Wench: That line? About "in that dreadful caldron of swirling water and seething foam will lie for all time the most dangerous criminal and the foremost champion of the law of their generation." is a paraphrase of one of the lines from that book. And it is a rare day that I read it and don't struggle

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Wench: Anyway... endpoint to you!

Jezebel: How feeeeeeeeeeeeeee- no. How fuuuuuuuuuucking dare you lead me into that ending blind you Wench

Wench: Because it deserved to not be spoiled. My favorite part of the movie right there

Jezebel: Of all the dastardly, deceiving, horrrible things! So evil! So evil. So *opens new Google Doc* evil 😭😭😭😭😭

Wench: We're gonna go back in our convo and find out that I did warn you and we just forgot… Devour, take two

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: You cannot tell me that scene wasn't golden though. And the look? The Look?!?!?! THE LOOK.

Jezebel: It was. He 😭😭 he smiled and just cartwheeeled off like yep all is good now I got one last look.

Wench: Can you see why he's (this specific version of the character) on my fave list?

Jezebel: YES! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ahhhh I love RDJ omg

Wench: I meant the self-sacrificial bit but go off ig ME TOO

Jezebel: Of course he is ma’am 😂😂 that’s just your type

Wench: I've been attacked. It's true, but still

Jezebel: I'm not ok 😭😭😭😭😭 Even though I suspected he wasn’t dead… Mainly because there is a third movie in the works… I still am not ok. I was like: Welp. This has been a good friendship. But I’m bout to head out now..

Wench: RUDE

Jezebel: Bruh by the time they finally make the third movie, there will be a third Enola Holmes and I’m pretty sure they said Watson will be introduced

Wench: Ooop-

Jezebel: I’ll have pre bros and post bros and I may just die. Ngl I already have a doc like very VERY rough drafted for Enola Holmes Sherlock but I wanted to see the RDJ movies first ☠️ to get a better feel of how they act

Wench: I love it :))) You got any other endpoint comments?

Jezebel: Yes! Mary flipped her bitchiness in the end and I’m here for it

Wench: This is true!

Jezebel: And I love Mycroft! But I can’t reallly think of much more endpoint ☠️☠️☠️ movies are hard ☠️ to end point I mean. ‘Cause I feel like I explained enough through it, yanno?

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair. Do you see what I mean about Die Forelle being creepy af now tho?

Jezebel: YES Also, I’m hurt and now have to sleep on that, you Wench

Wench: Think of it this way... it's the ideal domain for fics… Angsty out the freaking wazoo

Jezebel: I KNOWWWW! but you don’t have to pretend there’s a happy ending… You just expand it

Wench: The thing is. The Thing. Is. Angst. And Hurt/Comfort. Have apparently become my ideal genres. So… I need to come up with something to write (PROMPTS ARE ACCEPTED at @scripted-downfall --- within the constraints of sooooo much work 😭)

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Yesss

Wench: But that's for a later time. Ready to call it a night?

Jezebel: Yes!

Wench: Oh, what’s our next react?

Jezebel: The Musketeers, right?

Wench: laksjdf;lksajdf I was giving you the choice to pick something else. Or say no

Jezebel: 😌😌Wench: Hell yeahhhhhhh! Alright, then... 'Til tomorrow, for The Musketeers!

#sherlock holmes game of shadows #game of shadows #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #or as we like to call them:#baker street bros #irene adler #mary watson #simza heron #warning for those who don't know this blog...#jezebel is very shipper. her dislike of mary stems from this. forgive her her sins #reactions #movie reactions #jezebel (pr)

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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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Sherlock Holmes (2009) Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[This reaction is sponsored by the Actual Snack Food I'm eating: I has a soda. Be proud!] Same! Mtn dew! It’s been a while since I had one… I’ve already drank three ☠️

Oh suspenseful music

RDJ! He loooks so different without facial hair [He does indeed]

Oooooof. Ouch [That was a very... awkwardly placed shimmy down to the knee tho… Buddy, why you getting that close?]

So like Sherlock’s thing. Is he’s really smart? Orrrr [Ma'am- Do you not know Sherlock Holmes?] I know he’s a detective? [Okay, hold up. Pause… This is kinda a crucial bit of information ☠️] Ok [His thing is being observant. And yes, being well versed in a lot of subjects, but-] Soooo like shawn [Yes, like Shawn. Pretty much exactly like Shawn, but a little more drug addicted and differently fixated (e.g. not pop culture, and more science in general)]

Is that John? [Yes] Well. I’m already seeing some Things. “I like the hat” “Thanks just picked it up” [Also… "I thought I left the stove on" "You did" DOMESTIC BLISS AT ITS FINEST]

Oh shit Watson got moves too [Ma'am, Watson was in the military aksldjf] Idk why I thought he just stood to the side like an npc [Nah, he was an army doctor]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Oop-] “Your colleague… won’t be moving with you” [*simultaneously* "Your colleague? Won't be moving with you, will he?" Hmmmmm, why you asking, bud?] ☠️☠️☠️ SBC

Aw man Watsons leaving. Well, “Leaving” [No wonder Holmes is moody] Does he tho? [I say nothing]

He’s like I must make myself look mentally unstable…. Oh I always do… damn

[Men will get on their knees in front of their best bro buds] Detective bros? Crime solving bros? Mystery bros? Hmmm… [Baker Street Bros] YESSSSS OMG

[Poor pup :(]

Eww, not the woman [Holmes not wanting to meet his best bro bud's girlfriend/fiancee]

“You wear a jacket” Why did you think I wouldn’t like this? ☠️☠️ [I said I couldn't remember it well aslkdfjalskdfj It's been years since I saw it. I said I wasn't going to stake my rep on it]

The smile. THE SMILEEEE! I LOVE RDJ

YESSSS

Oooof… Oh, let me fangirl over my love- your fiancé

Oh, ma’am… You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to

I THOUGHT HE SAID “YOU’RE STUPID” [alskdjf nope] BUT HES MAKING HER FEEL IT ANYWAY [I mean, she did ask] OOOOOOOOOOF

WELL DAMN, HE AIN'T EVEN PHASED [That's another thing about Holmes... He does tend to be a bit arrogant.]

What is happening?!? [Holmes boxes] Victorian-era boxing

Oooooof, sweeet lord. This is hurting me

They are like… well damn

[Did I mention the drug-addicted bit? He used morphine and cocaine in the books.]

Then you’d be a bastad.

Oh look: Bastad.

That looks unsafe

[Watson sulking] Well, damn. [Boyfriends bickering] ☠️☠️☠️ Like every single line, I’m like. Yep. I be seeing the it. [Yeahhhh me too. Like I said, it was years ago that I watched this last, but now. Now I see it.] If I didn’t know there was hella fanfics I would already be checking, but I’ve seeeeeen it. [I think most are about Sherlock tho. Not Sherlock Holmes (2009)] A lot I’ve read are for this one [Oh. Well okay then. I yield to your expertise. I haven't looked ☠️] I seek them

[Bruh, even this interaction verges on. Things.]

Oh shit. The way he slid into those bars

Buddy he has no sane thoughts in his head [Which buddy?] The bad guy

Ack. Sweet lord

["Death is only the beginning" They plagiarized The Mummy aslkdjfa;lskdfj] Oh damn

Or is it 👀👀

Rachael McAdams!!! I love her!

[This is a slightly less malicious BBC Musketeers Athos/Milady, btw]

Oh, burn: “And you’re between husbands”

[Actually, ma'am... I wouldn't put it passed you to poison an envelope, ngl. Milady-coded.]

Ohhh Watson being pouty and jealous now [What else is a guy's bud bro bestie to do?]

The screech [Matt Meese-sounding mf] Oh ☠️😂😂😂

I’m ded. He fell into the building

[WATSON] “It’s nothing to do with me” [LITERALLY DOING THE NAIL THING]

[“‘You’ means ‘us’” "’You’ means ‘you’" Watson, don't pretend]

Ackkk Marryyyy 😤😤 the name just keeps a bitchy reputation (I say in defense of Sherlock being bitchy)

That’s me [Lestrade?] Yup. Can’t pronounce the big word AND too scared to do my job

Sweet lord… Blech

[Bruh. Y'all are saying the same thing at the same time. That's kinda Subtext.] 😂😂😂😂

[Supernatural, you say?] 👀👀👀 Carry on my wayward soooooon

["Scratches around the keyhole" *PTSD flashback from BBC Sherlock starts*]

Oooop- “Brothersss” She means Bros

["Give her my best" *Hates himself for saying it* That's some right-fine pining, my dude] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [AND HIS SMILE WHEN JOHN CAME BACK???] But. But marryyy 😩😂😂😂 I love it

Oh mah gawd. The poor frog

[I love their outfitssss. Btw, this is how I dress. Well, half the time. The other half of the time, it's cargo pants and flannel as;ldkfj] ‘Cause you were born in the wrong time [This... Is true]

Moood

Thasss a big man

The screeeeeech

[Ring go bye-bye. That feels symbolic] ☠️☠️ [He does marry her before the next film, though, iirc] Ahhh I see

“Brother” [Sir didn't even remember the important ring he just bought in favor of running after his best bro bud]

Welp, he’s asleep.

Bitch better wake up

[Um. Bud. Buds. That was– Ya know what. Okay.] aka if you go we both go

Oh, Watson ["Having been talked into going with you" Bro, you went back without a single bit of coercion] Don’t do the “I just risked my life for you then bitch you out for it” thing

[Y'ALL. Y'ALLLLL] “Steal your clothes,” huh? [OUR DOG?!?!?] Yep. I can hear the fic ideas pinging off. Like those troll hug bracelets…If you haven’t seen the movie you won’t get that [alksdjf nope, I haven’t]

Like, how she was smiling? Like… Bruh. Ew

[Also, Watson acting like he's a paragon of relationships without Holmes’ interference when he just lost the ring he'd only just bought] Right?!

Not me sitting here hoping this has the sappy ass (Sherlock) “fine, you want me to go away, I will”… (Watson) *miserable, comes crawling back* [I KNOW. SAME. AND I CAN'T REMEMBER IF IT DOES OR NOT.] If it doesn’t the fandom will ☠️ If the fandom doesn’t gimme 30 mins and it will 😭😂☠️ [I, personally, am a fan of this conversation being followed by serious personal harm to person 1. Angsty though it is... Well, I guess that's on-brand] I was gonna say that but my thumbs were cramping uppppp [as;lkdjf] Look at us being sadistic. But with a happy end. [As I said... on-brand]

Le gasp! His son!

SOMEONE LET HIM PICK A LOCK! SHEESH!

["I hit a dead end... and my bud bro bestie is fighting with me :("] Now I sad

“Oh, dear” ☠️☠️

[Once again: the lighter, (only slightly) less toxic, less murder-couple-y Athos/Milady. And the "less," btw, is by a smidgeon, not a bunch]

He ded

Damn… Jealous. That’s a nice tub. [You're about to not be jealous] Ooooop ghost son’s a coming

[As I said, much less jealous… He just drowned/boiled to death in it.] Blech. BLECHHHH

So is this supernatural like… for real? [Whyyyy do you think I'd tell you this?]

Poor maid

Is he like wigged out by dead people? Sherlock, I mean? [What do you mean by wigged out? I thought I knew what you meant but don't see the context] ‘Cause at the first one it was like he couldn’t look at the body. Then it seemed like he was weird when he walked in this room. But he stopped this time. [No, he's just observing. And also hiding shit from the cops.] Fair

I’m still feeling some type of way about her getting John out and not Sherlock too… and John just left. The dishonor! [I KNOW]

["Thanks for that, by the way" John, give a bit more than that] Dishonorrrr. Hmph, and it’s a movie so any divorce arc we get is gonna be short-lived. [That's the plot of this film: Baker Street Bros solve a case While Divorcing] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Go to Google: that's the blurb that comes up] I bet you if I typed that into google there’s a fic [With a worse ship name]

["Not us." "Right, of course." Ummmmm Byler Rain Scene-coded??? "What did you think? That we were never gonna get fiancees? That we were just gonna sit in our flat all day and solve crimes for the rest of our lives?" "Yeah. I guess I did."] ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

😂😂😂 [Bad guy did the swoop again]

Nooo. Noooooo. I’m ded. He fucking shot in circles and used all his bullets

Oh shit

OH SHIT [GAH DAMMIT LET HIM PICK A LOCK] OH SHIT OH SHIT [He still hasn't been able to :(] This is like a fuckign saw movie

["Don't get excited… because I'm taking off your belt"]

Sweeet lord

[I love her outfittttt. Once again: that's how I dress alksdjflsakj]

He got to pick one [He did!]

[Also, why does he look so uncomfortable when she hugged him alksdjf] I KNOW

Oh shit

[Oh yeah. Watch this. I do remember this one, actually. I remarked on this one even back when I first watched] Ooooooof

OOOOOF

I LOVE THIS COP [Also, he couldn't get Holmes to focus unless he confirmed Watson was alive elkasdjf;lkdsajf]

I KNOWWWW 😭😭😭

Ack bitchy lady lol

Run, Sherlock! She’s onto you! [She's actually being frustratingly not bad, ngl] Hmmmph. She just has a bitchy face, though. Like, she squints menacingly when she talks.

[But also. Buddy obsessing over the case because Now It's Personal] I KNOWWW 😭😭☹️

[Bruh, it's Howl's Moving Castle. House boutta move] Now he has to eat a star

Sir. [...] Well, then. [Cas: “You look terrible.” Dean: “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again” vs. Watson: “You look gorgeous” Sherlock: “Somehow, I knew you wouldn’t leave.” It’s the same scene.] 😭😭😭😭

A snek

I keep wondering why he keeps talking like this. (Like oh he’s being funny) but no. No that’s just how they talk ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Yup]

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello [I've heard that somewhere before] I think the new angel in GOmens watched Sherlock Holmes [THAT'S WHERE]

Oh shit

[HOLMES GOT TO PICK ANOTHER LOCK] You go buddy!

😂😂😂😂 He said soldier boy

[He. he did not get to pick the lock apparently] Oh noooo [He had the key] For shame

Shoot him. Now please

[I love her vestttttt]

Oop- Lorge guy is back

[Teamwork makes the dreamwork] 😂😂😂

This man and just easily breaking bonesss

“Course I can.” Buddy. He is quite big. You sure

We know, John, we know.

Noooooo. Nope. That’s where I forfeit the deal I had with scary mystery man. Fuck that.

Ooooooof [A fitting irony, that] Right?!

[This is a cliffhanger for the second film, btw. Which we should watch... tomorrow] YESSS

AWWW he’s leaving [:(] Poor Sherlock

[BRUH HE GAVE- HE GAVE IRENE'S PENDANT TO HIS BEST BRO BUD FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING?] Le gasp

Wot. WOT. ["MY TONGUE IS GOING; I'LL BE NO USE TO YOU AT ALL" CONTEXT? WHAT CONTEXT?] ☠️☠️☠️

["Our dog"]

Oooop. We’re there. Being able to control anything with the touch of a button? It’s the future.

– – –

Jezebel: AHHHH! New ship unlocked! Well, it was already unlocked, but now it’s fully activated

Wench: Congratulations, my dear :)

Jezebel: Ok so movie end point... as was expected I love it and I definitely want to watch the second tomorrow 😁😁😁😁 I loveeeee RDJ so I figured I would too! 😂😂 but like my husband said when I asked, there’s not many movies I don’t like. I’m very easily pleased lol.

Wench: We’ll have to do it tomorrow, then, after my work’s done :)

Jezebel: Hmpppphhh Maryyyy 😤😤 and I don’t even really have a reason to not like her minus her name is just attached to bitchy women… ok, that’s a lie, she’s bitchy too! 😂😂😂😂 Not, like, god awful. But.. it’s the eyes

Wench: Ma'am! Problem child.

Jezebel: But aside from all this. The main reason we are here… Sherlock and Watson… are… Welp they are in love obviously. Like. Duh. You do not act like that with just a friend. I see what the hype is about and if the blatant chemistry- er- “subtext” is there in the show too. Then yeahhhhh it just is not deniable

Wench: I. May have just tuned out, my deepest apologies. I got distracted. By The Musketeers. I’m making you watch it. BUT. Anyway… fair! And other movie thoughts? (I don't really have much to add... I've seen it before enough that it's just kinda. There. Also, is hella late and my brain be unhelpful rn.)

Jezebel: I 👀 I can’t think of any.

Wench: Ma'am, you condensed the entire plot to the ship and bitchiness

Jezebel: Welp…. Help! Ask me about something cause my mind is panic erasing as we speak

Wench: … The bad guy? The plot? The acting? literally anything??????

Jezebel: Okayyyy! So The bad guy looks just fucking like Stanley Tucci! But it’s not and as soon as I saw who he was I remembered in another movie he is in I thought he was Stanley Tucci again lol. But this guy actually has been in a lot more big movies!

Wench: alskdfj

Jezebel: The acting? Ma’am! How dare you! The acting was :Chef_Kiss: spectacular. Period. 😂

Wench: Hmph. You said to ask stuff. It's not like you'd answered that before.

Jezebel: The plot. To be honest I kept getting lost in them flirting and then trying to get my thumbs to type fast enough I was confused for a bit about what was even happening in the plot. Past there’s a bad guy who was executed but didn’t die, or maybe he did but then came back they don’t know. And he is killing people ☠️☠️ but I got it all now! 😂😂

Wench: …

Jezebel: Shush! I gotta say tho… I love movies set in the past that have like some hyper advanced technology. That’s so simple to us now!

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair :)

Jezebel: And… Okay, now idk what else to say 😭😭

Wench: Nor I; perks of me running on very little sleep… This has been the most boring Wench half of the reaction in the history of Wench and Jezebel, but it's fineeeee.

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: It'll pick up for tomorrow... Sequel then?

Jezebel: YES!

Wench: Aight… til then :)

#sherlock holmes 2009 #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #or as we like to call them:#baker street bros #irene adler #mary watson #we're posting this at 2 am btw #just for a glimpse into our mental states #warning for those who don't know this blog...#jezebel is very shipper. her dislike of mary stems from this. forgive her her sins #reactions #movie reactions #jezebel (pr)

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