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yellowroseswrites · 10 months

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Hi, I was wondering if you could write a fic about Spencer Reid x sh/ed reader. The reader is very insecure because she feels like she used to be smart but isn't anymore and maybe after failing a case she starts harming herself again.

I was also wondering if you could include

that she wears a watch all the time

that she tends to cut small cuts on her fingers because she can blame them on other things and often digs her nails into them when anxious

has a good relationship with family so she feels her actions are unjustified

Spencer and reader are friends but shes always thought of him as more

I totally understand if this isn't possible and thank you.

"I want to help you carry it."

Spencer Reid x Sh!BAU!Reader

Author's notes- [ “has a good relationship with her family so she feels her actions are unjustified’ called me out personally and i need emotional compensation /j. Sorry these pieces have taken so long, a lot of my requests have been sh related and i wasn’t in the right headspace until recently, i hope you understand and i hope you enjoy this piece <3 also this is taken quite far from the prompt, so i’m sorry about that. I’ll definitely try to write more with reid and sh reader, so i’ll try to follow the request a bit more closely next time]

TW- {Self harm mentions, not super graphic, but it is a bit detailed, mentions of kidnapping and su!c!de (briefly), Eating habits mentioned, but not detailed at all, disassociation scenes, 2 of them i think, use of y/n}

1.2k words, enjoy

You looked down at your watch, watching the second hand tick all the way around the circle, desperately trying not to look up. If you looked up, all you would see is the dissapointed face of your best friend, Spencer.

You were sat on a stool near his kitchen counter. Usually if you were sitting here, there would be laughter and smiles, maybe pizza or some freshly baked cupcakes, but this was different. You only ever saw Reid like this once, when he sat you down to talk to you about your eating habits. You swore you would never do anything that would make him that upset again. You never wanted him to worry about you. He had enough on his plate, you would only be a burden. And yet, here you are.

You thought you were hiding it well, to be honest you really were. You never let anything slip, not a wince, not a complain, nothing. No one knew a thing, until today.

You were finishing a case, a rough one if you’re being honest. There was a young girl, one with scars everywhere, self inflicted. Everyone thought she had killed herself, except you and Reid. You both fought hard to find the girl. The team did end up finding her, she was trapped in some freaks attic. The case was closed, she was found, it was fine. You told yourself it was fine, you did your best to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you. It wasn’t until you were filling out your case reports that you finally let yourself dwell on it. You could hear Derek’s voice so clearly in your head, “Is it possible that she took her own life? It’s clear she has suicidal tendencies.” Even after JJ and Hotch explained the complexities of non-suicidal self injury, his words still rang in your head. You dont even know why it bothered you. I wasn’t judgmental, it wasn’t disrespectful, it wasn’t even a bad theory, but it rattled you. It’s like you could perfectly imagine them talking about you like that, like you were nothing but your habits. You knew that wasn’t how Morgan meant it, he was doing his job, you would do the same for any other case, but this one just stung.

As you thought about it, you faded into your mind. It’s like you weren’t even there at your desk, you were inside your head. Your nails found there way to your other hands knuckles. You were good at hiding the marks, and it was easy to lie about them. They were your hands, anyone would believe that you just knicked them, or got them stuck in your car door, or that your neighbors cat was a playful fella, or the countless other excuses you had saved in your resevoir. You never hurt youself in public, or when people could catch you, except today apperently. Your finger was red and bleeding by the time you snapped out of your haze. Or rather, was rudely dragged out of our haze by Spencer. You blinked a few times as you focused on him and what he was saying.

“Y/n stop that.” His hands were on yours. You were frozen for a second, your mind almost buffering, before the reality of that moment actually dawned on you. Without speaking a word you pulled your hands back and stoop up from your desk.

You grabbed your bag, sliding your unfinished report into your desk drawer, before beginning to walk off, “Good work Spence, I’ll see you tommorow.” You made your way to the elevator, ttrying to avoid the obvious footsteps following you. He put his hand on your shoulder as you made your way out of the building, gently guiding you to his car. You didn’t fight it, you knew you couldn’t, and you would really rather not make a scene in your work parking lot. You listened to the hum of his car air conditioner as he drove the all familiar route to his appartment.

That’s how you ended up here. A few warm tears falling down your cheeks while Spencer silently stares at your shrunken figure. He was trying to find the words that he wanted to say, which was never a good thing. He was the Spencer Reid, he always knew what to say.

He finally cleared his throat, after what felt like ages, “Non-suicidal self injury is a habitual addiction, but it’s possible to recover from it. You just have to tell someone about it, that’s step one. That’s always been step one. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Spence. I’m sorry.” Your voice was small. You felt small compared to your all knowing best friend. You knew everything there was to know about self harm, sometimes it was the only thing you wanted to read about or learn about, sometimes you felt like it was the only thing you knew about, but you knew this was how Reid helped, so you tried to stay calm as you let him tell you everything that you already had memorized.

“We’re friends y/n, you can talk to me.”

You huffed at that, mumbling a small, “Yea friends.”

“You’re deflecting.” He sounded softer, you hurt him. You were deflecting, and now you feel worse than you did before. You hated this, you wanted to go home and relive this day. Your nails started to sink into the skin on your thigh.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Great, Spencer saw. Spencer knows. Spencers going to think your insane, he’s going to talk about you like your a victim. He’s going to talk to you like a baby and look at you like your bleeding out in front of him. He’s never going to think about you the way you think of him, your just some charity case for him. He doesn’t -

His hand grabs yours, taking it away from your leg. Before your brain can catch up with you, your arms are wrapped around him, pressing your face into his torso. Your tears are falling more freely now. You feel his hands run through your hair and rub against your back. You never feel more safe than you do when your in his arms, your thoughts can’t catch you here.

You aren’t sure how long you stay like that before you gently pull away from him. You sit patiently as he examines your hands. You can see the hurt in his eyes, you do your best to ignore it.

“I love you, y/n. I don’t want you to do this to youself. You can get help for this. You can talk to me about it if you need to.” He was soft, but not condescending. You could feel yourself melt, as though you needed another reason to love him.

“I can’t do that, I’ll just be a burden. This isn’t your baggage to carry.” You started to pull away again.

“It’s still your baggage, I just want to help you carry it. Let me help you, please.” His voice pulled you right back in.

You wiped the remaining tears from your face, “Okay Spence.” He sighed in relief, taking your hands and leading you to the couch. You both sat, you resting your head against his chest. You didn’t have to talk about it now. You knew you would eventually, but that's another thing about Spencer, you felt comfortable. You didn’t feel anxious about the impending conversations to be had, you weren’t stressing about him watching you or knowing your secrets, you simply felt safe. That was enough for now.

#yellowroseswrites #comfort fics #x reader #x reader fic #self h@rm #self harm fic #sh!reader #self h@rm reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reider #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #tw #spencer reid comfort

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ax-y10 · 11 months

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this is an incredibly self-indulgent request, but maybe a reader who has a speech impediment and feels insecure about their voice and wilbur being all soft and fluffy about it ??

Love Through Jumbled Words

In which- It's hard to understand you, but Wilbur finds ways

Definition of a speech impediment: Speech disorders or speech impairments are a type of communication disorder in which normal speech is disrupted. This can mean fluency disorders like stuttering, cluttering or lisps. Someone who is unable to speak due to a speech disorder is considered mute.

Chapter Info: Stuttering, Fluff, Wilbur being a soft man, Cuteness, I'm too lazy to look through for anything else

A/n: I had no clue what a speech impediment was, and when I searched it up, I realised I have a speech impediment (stuttering) so I have to write this with a reader who stutters because I sadly can't relate to anything else, sorry. I also decided to do a platonic and romantic version separate with a short blurb at the bottom of each. This is long so sorry

Pronouns: None (You/Yours)

Masterlist:

Platonic (Friend)-

When Wilbur first started talking to you, he immediately realised that he would have to help you through many things, such as ordering food or talking to other people.

And when you trusted him enough to open up, he found out that you had always had problems with things like that, stuttering through every sentence.

And that exact moment is when he opened up about his stutters from kindergarten and primary school, and how he overcame them, offering to help you through yours.

When he introduced you to his friends, they would make light-hearted jokes about your small stutters, but would immediately apologise and call it cute.

Especially when you tried to introduce yourself and got really frustrated while trying to state your name, them obviously being great people and waiting for you.

And they definitely got pissed off at Wilbur when he tried to help, even though you were getting through it, them not knowing that you had asked him to help.

And Tommy (That fucking jerk) would have already had a nickname for you when he heard you through that very first discord call on Wilbur's account.

They obviously loved you from when they met you.

And introducing Wilbur to your closest friends would be an experience... to say the least.

The first comment one of them made was "Is he your boyfriend? Y/N WITH A BOYFRIEND?"

And oh my god did that start an argument between everyone.

But you brushed the comment off... After laughing at Wilbur's shocked expression.

They loved him to say the least

Okay- they adored the lanky bastard -but don't talk about that

Everyone was so welcoming for Wilbur, and he loved your friends.

And helping you get through it was so tough but you guys got it, through months of therapy and practice.

As he sat down across from you at the coffee shop, he realised just how shy you were. One of his friends had given him your number from college, and he had asked you to meet up at the coffee shop down the road from campus. You both hadn't talked to each other in person, which definitely made communication hard. And when you greeted yourself, stuttering through it, he realised how hard it would be to understand you. But luckily for you, he had such a large amount of patience and understanding, having had the same problem as a child.

Platonic (Sibling)-

Him being your older brother, there was definitely going to be so much overprotectiveness in that household.

He wouldn't let anyone near you who decided to make even the most light-hearted joke that you didn't care about, near you.

Like, he would beat them up if they did that

He doesn't care. His Y/n needs to be safe and out of harms way because you are way too special to him

And the funniest part of the whole situation was that he is only 1 year older than you, making it seem weird but it's cute because he cares for you so much.

He is always next to you or helping you throughout conversations or even saying something simple.

When you were both in school, he would beg for the principal and his teachers to sit in class with you to make sure you were doing alright.

Although he was the same age as lots of your classmates, you were still a grade below him.

And everyone in your classes loved him so much.

He was always a sort of underdog in school, so having that attention from other students definitely boosted his confidence and ego, and he got a lot more popular with the younger students, often helping them out at after school events.

He also got into being a bit more mischievous in school, that making him more popular

He would never forget to help you with anything at all.

They were the reason he asked your parents if he could do sports with you, because the kids that liked him were your friends, and you played sports with them.

He definitely didn't join because he wanted to help with your stutters and to boost his ego more...

He was always the kindest person with other people.

"Excuse me, miss?" He asked the principal. He never really learnt teachers names, calling them 'miss' or 'sir', but he had a question nagging at the back of his head for weeks, and he couldn't hold it in any longer. "What's the matter, Mister Soot?" The principal replied with a somewhat annoyed tone, him jumping back slightly. "Would it be alright if I was able to sit in with some of my sister's classes? She has a stutter and struggles with communicating with people and I feel really bad not being there for her. Even if it's once a week. Anything works. Please?" After a little while of pondering from the principal, his hopes lowering from each passing second of silence, she finally speaks up. "Fine. But you need to let your teacher know when you're going to her classes, and you need to attend at least two out of the four lessons you have each day." He was finally excited for once today, and you could tell wen he stumbled into your second lesson of the day, him sitting in the seat next to you and immediately helping you.

Romantic (Relationship) -

When he first had a conversation with you that night in the parking lot of Tesco's, and when you both exchanged numbers that night, he knew it would take time to overcome your stutter or at the very least, die it down a little but.

But he would never push anything onto your shoulders.

Your very first date was definitely the fluffiest thing ever. It wasn't so public as others would definitely recognise him, and you had openly told him about your insecurity with your stutter, so he decided to keep it inside the comfort of his apartment dining room, a cute spaghetti date.

After each bite, you would both look up at each other and when you attempted to make small talk, he would be so patient with your stutters, just admiring you and the way you got so frustrated when you kept repeating vowels.

Now, we all know this man is very touchy and loves affection

So you better be prepared for hugs everytime you get a sentence correct without a stutter or interruption

Even if it was as simple as your first "I love you" without a stutter, he would be all over you (not in the weird wat obv), and smothering you in affection, so proud of your progress.

He would definitely kiss you if you aren't able to finish a sentence after repeatedly trying to complete it, giving you a fresh start, and making you stutter even more due to the sudden affection, and he would keep doing it until you just couldn't bother talking.

Anytime you would try to talk to him when tired and in bed next to him, he would just stare at your lips while you attempt to talk to him, but falling asleep and not being able to get your statement out

And it would be so hard to complete a sentence when tired because your stuttering would just get worse, but to him, you would just get cuter.

If you ever asked his friends about how much he talks about you, they wouldn't be able to count it in their head, Wilbur would have to explain.

And everytime he talks about you, it would always somehow bring up your cute stutter, and how he loves it when you aren't able to form a string of words, and him having to end up ordering food for you.

He just loves you and helping you through your stutter and your stutter and your cute frustrated hand movements and your stressed eyes when you aren't able to get a food order out at a restaurant and when you're embarrassed when you have to talk to a fan of his and keep failing.

he loves every part of you and your cute self.

And he would just be so patient with you when you are trying to say something important to you, like when you want to go somewhere with him the next day, or what to eat for dinner, or anything in general.

Anyway, he just loves every part of you.

"And I- I sa- saw the cute- st little kitt- tte- kitten today on the stre- street and I took a ph- photo of i- it for you and I- I want to sho- show you bef- befor- before we go t- to bed?" You stuttered out tiredly. He didn't reply, but just kept staring at your face, illuminated by the moonlight shining through the blinds of your shared bedroom. "D- Darling?" "Oh yeah, I'd love to see the photo. I just love cats, but not as much as you" He spoke, causing you to chuckle slightly. You pulled your phone off the charger from behind you, unlocked it and pulled up the photo to show him, a cute little ash grey kitten right in front of his face on the screen. And soon after the conversation slowly died down, he realised you had fallen asleep. Pulling you closer into him, he fell asleep not too long after.

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fic #wilbur soot x you #wilbur #wilbur imagines #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur headcanons #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #wilbur fic #speech impediment #request #tommyinnit #wilbur just being a scrunkly little guy #but speech impediments are so cute #I told my friends to fuck off while i wrote this /j

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neonscandal · 27 days

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Can I share something? So, I got into JJK fandom because of my bestie (forever I'll be thankful to her). And of course, I got to know my otp, Gojo/Geto. They are just the best. Love them more because of the amazing fanarts and fanfics of this ship. Also, I found a lot SatoSugu blogs and learn from them (including your amazing blog).....

Now, my bestie ship Gojo/Yuji. Why? Because, before into JJK fandom, she is BL fan first. And guess her favorite trope? "Teacher-student relationship" and "Age-gap" (yeah, I know, those tropes are not for everyone, even I don't get her taste). And she wrote GoYuu fics and ask me to read them.

So, I read them and give her my opinion. There is a scene where Yuji (20 years old) got insecure because Gojo (35 years old) always talk about his ex-bf Geto (35 years old). And said, "Even if we broke up, he is still my one and only...best friend. I trust him the most even for my life, etc)". When Yuji finally met Geto, Geto said, "Not to worry, Itadori, and please take care of Satoru, we have broken up so no need to be jealous." And to Gojo, "Please be more understanding, Satoru, because your boyfriend, your ex student is still young and you need to grow up."

I asked my friend, why she still wrote Gojo and Geto's bond so strong. (Like, when Gojo and Yuji fought, Gojo instanly ran to Geto). You know what my friend said, "I would call go/ge as close to canon as a queer ship can get in shounen. Their relationship is special. I'm not blind, I just ship Gojo and Yuji more. And it's a fact, if I wrote Gojo then I need to wrote Geto, too...."

Sorry for my long ask. What do you think? Funny right, Gojo/Yuji fic but Gojo and Geto still there....

No need to apologize!

I maintain that Gege Akutami wrote Gojo and Geto so intentionally, so intrinsically, that any writers would still have to solution how to deal with their relation to one another. I don't know that this is the only ship this is true for, per se.

But I think part of what makes them hard to separate is the fact that, if you're relying on any form of canon as the framework for your story, you have to contend the fact that Gojo demonstratively lacks intimacy with anyone else like he has established with Geto. He's not as touchy, not as trusting, not as inspired (he only freaks out when something happens to Geto) with anyone else, demonstratively. He's so relatively shut off from others that it presents a hurdle to write around.

Now, if it's a Geto focused ship, I think it's a lot easier to circumvent because he seemingly has motivations that are more broad. I still believe his mission to be rooted in affection, but he is a creature of subtlety. Like. I say Geto is kind and gentle and generous but he, even before defecting, was capable of cruelty, condescension, rebellion. He's just overshadowed by Gojo's flippancy and bravado.

#neon asks #anon asks #we are the strongest #satosugu #stsg #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #anime #manga

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aspd-culture · 6 months

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Hi I'm new here so sorry if this has already been answered, people with aspd are often referred to as callous and cold but the rate of anxiety and depression with them is quite high thanks to it being a trauma disorder, so how do the two things coexist? Shouldn't they be mutually exclusive?

Firstly welcome!/pos

So unfortunately, the public's perception of ASPD has gotten very mixed with the understanding of the actual symptoms of ASPD. Callous and cold are certainly personality traits that are more likely to appear in pwASPD, but that is not all of us. In personality disorders, due to the nature of them being baked into our personality, which is part biological and part environmental, you will see heavy variations in symptoms.

Additionally, a part of the actual evaluations for ASPD (at least both of the ones I took to get diagnosed - I am from the US for reference) is questions relating to being charismatic/charming and "masters of manipulation". Even the public perception hits on this - saying we are "always playing a social chess game". Those things aren't really compatible with being callous and cold all the time.

To get more into this in the context of your question, though, as you mentioned, ASPD is almost always caused by some amount of trauma. To my understanding as someone with a background in child development, especially in early childhood, our brains basically got here one of two ways if it's trauma based.

The first is our brains developing under the belief that the symptoms of ASPD are just how everyone is, due to being exposed to poor examples or a lack of exmaples of things like remorse, empathy, warmth, etc. This generally comes from abusive/neglectful/emotionally unavailable adults in the child's life and a lack of presence of adults that would guide the child's brain into the natural development of these things because children are literally always learning in the first few years of life especially, and the brain is forming itself around the understanding that the adults give the child of how a human being thinks/acts/behaves/responds.

The other is having specific trauma break down the prior, proper development under the belief that it was either entirely mistaken and people are supposed to behave another way, or as a protective reaction when the brain believes it cannot survive any other way. Research has pointed to trauma directly impacting the neurology of people with PTSD at any age, and that is especially prominent in the ages that ASPD first starts showing up at (15 and younger).

Regardless of which it is, there is more than *just* ASPD being made most of the time in either of these circumstances. When things are unstable in a child's life, they become very likely to develop any number of anxiety disorders. When led to the belief that nothing will ever be good, anyone of any age tends to end up depressed, and pwASPD generally have experiences that have made us see things that way for a *very* long time.

Depression especially is very compatible with ASPD even in public perception - lack of motivation, disinterest in socializing, maladaptive understanding of the world (believing nothing will get better), etc. are symptoms of both ASPD and Major Depressive Disorder.

As for anxiety, it isn't incompatible, but it is probably fairly far removed from the anxiety that prosocials have, specifically in what the anxiety centers on. It is less likely (but definitely not impossible) that a pwASPD would have anxiety about wanting others to like them or worrying about social interactions, but it is very likely to see pwASPD having anxiety about the risk of harm coming to them, people being "out to get us", or that anything good in our life may be unstable and can be lost or taken from us. Insecurity in relationships is common in ASPD because of that type of anxiety - we tend to struggle with the belief that the other shoe will drop, so to speak, any time things seem good or calm in our life. That alone causes a serious amount of anxiety.

These kinds of misconceptions generally come from a specific misrepresentation of ASPD - the idea that we have no emotions or cannot feel certain particular emotions. While sometimes our emotions can be blunted, and some pwASPD are incapable of feeling particular emotions, which ones in particular vary greatly. Boredom and anger/irritation are pretty much always able to be felt by pwASPD to some degree, but outside of that there's a lot of different presentations of the muted emotions trait (not a diagnostic criteria required for diagnosis btw, it's just a common trait seen in many pwASPD). Some people find themselves incapable of feeling things like fear/anxiety and/or depression, sure, but others like me actually feel those at full force but experience heavily mutes positive emotions like happiness. And again, not all of us even have blunted emotions at all, removing any reason we wouldn't be able to have depression or anxiety.

By the way, nothing bad against you for this question!! It absolutely makes sense that this would be confusing to understand what with the common ways that ASPD is talked about and shown in pop culture, documentaries, and often even academic materials. I hold no ill will towards anyone with any genuine misunderstanding of ASPD. It is extremely difficult to grasp the truth of life with this disorder because even the sources that should be reliable often aren't - with small sample sizes, poor sample randomness (so many studies about ASPD are taken exclusively on prisoners), self-reporting (why the hell would we trust a random researcher), and even people who were diagnosed on the stand without advisement from any mental health professional (so people who may not even *have* ASPD, but they have what someone in the legal system *thought* was ASPD). It is so heavily stigmatized and misrepresented that I also had many of these perceptions well into my teen years, even as I recognized symptoms of ASPD in myself. This whole post is /info, I just have terrible issues with tone due to my autism.

Plain text below the cut:

Firstly welcome!/pos

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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ofstoriesandstardust · 2 years

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don’t blame me (lt. bradley “rooster” bradshaw)

a/n: i’ve never written from Phoenix’s perspective before and it was a risk doing it but I wanted someone else to tell the first part of the story. i have to admit that i’m nervous about this one. i like to think Rebel’s anger is quieter than Mav and Rooster’s, but when she strikes, she strikes hard. (please see: every time Rebel has insulted someone). anyways, this got so far away from me and i am so sorry.

summary: One of the new TOPGUN pilots is caught making moves on Rooster. Moral of the story? Rebel is not to be fucked with.

based on this idea from @starcrosslove and this addition from an anon

the (unofficial) part two to heart made up on you

the title comes from taylor swift’s “don’t blame me”

part of same mistakes-verse

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

warnings: swearing, implied homophobia, someone talking shit, insecurities, crying, kissing, mentions of sex, my general Navy inaccuracies and making the Navy work for me, Rebel’s a little bit of a bitch but she’s earned it, i genuinely have no good explanation for this

word count: 5,833

It’s the mention of her best friend that first catches Phoenix’s attention.

At the drop of Rooster’s name, she turns ever-so-slightly, catching sight of one of the female pilots from the new TOPGUN class talking to a few other pilots from the base. Ace is her callsign.

Ace is one of her least favorite pilots from the new class. The Iron Daggers had been working with them, because as the best, the Navy saw the things the students could learn from them. But Ace was so sure of herself, she was unwilling to take criticism. Her flying put others in danger and she was resistant to making friends. Her own wingman, Storm, bemoaned the fact that he had gotten stuck with her, and looked mildly unhappy to be trapped at the bar with her. Atlantis, the ever-annoying prick, was with her too, egging her on in the shit she was talking. When it had been revealed by another TOPGUN pilot that the two were related, no one had been surprised. She nudged Bob, tilting her head back to the group behind them and he paused in his conversation with Hangman, listening in too.

“I just don’t understand what he sees in her. I mean I’ll give her credit, she’s fucking hot, but dude...” Atlantis snorts.

“Ace, I don’t know what to tell you. Those two are up each other’s ass. You stand less of a chance with Rooster than I did with Rebel.” His sister lets out an indignant scoff.

“Excuse you! I could definitely bag Rooster by the time the night is over.” Phoenix raises an eyebrow as Hangman slowly leans against the table, trying to not make it obvious that three of them are eavesdropping on this conversation.

“Are you willing to bet money on that sis?” Atlantis taunts.

“You know what, yeah I am. 50 bucks I bang Rooster by the end of the night and their relationship is over. She doesn’t stand a chance.”

“And I’ll bet another $100 Rebel punches your lights out Ace.” Storm responds. “You’re playing with fire here.”

“Oh please, we all know that they aren’t happy together. I’m sure Rooster’s just waiting for the first pretty girl to make a move. None of them are brave enough to go against her, but I feel no fear.”

“Damn straight.” Atlantis agrees, raising his beer in his sister’s direction.

“She’s a fucking miserable bitch. Their relationship has been over for a long time and neither of them are willing to admit it. I wish she’d go away honestly.”

“And you’re sure you’re gonna be successful?” Atlantis asks, a smirking gracing his face.

“Oh, hell yeah. All I need to do is give him a little wink, let him cop a feel, and the boy is mine.”

Storm sucks in a long breath through his teeth. “You’d better be careful with that Ace. You’re flying with Coyote tomorrow morning. You ruin his best friend’s relationship, you're asking for trouble.”

Damn right, Storm.

The bell jingles, singling new arrivals and the group behind them pauses, turning. A quick glance reveals Rebel and Coyote with Rooster, Fanboy, and Payback right behind them. They split off, Coyote and Rebel making their way over with the other three stopping at the bar. Another quick glance reveals that Atlantis is smirking at his sister, gesturing to Rooster with a now’s your chance look. She huffs and grabs her beer, making her way towards the three unsuspecting pilots. Phoenix quickly catches Rebel’s eye as her and her best friend arrive at the group.

“What?” She asks as Coyote settles in next to his boyfriend. She nods her head to the pilots behind them and her gaze drifts over their heads to the others. She turns back, confusion filtering in her look. “Okay, so Storm and Atlantis are here. And?” Phoenix shifts forward, resting her arms on her knees.

“They were talking about you.”

She shrugs. “Okay? They don’t bother me.”

“They were talking about you and Rooster. Ace bet her brother 50 bucks she could bang him by the end of the night. They were talking massive shit about your relationship.” Something in Rebel’s eyes harden, glancing back over to her boyfriend, who’s now looking mildly uncomfortable at the pilot unabashedly drapping herself on top of him. Still, she shrugs again.

“So? What do I care? Some hotshot pilot isn’t gonna fuck up my relationship. I’ve known him since I was in diapers, he’s been my best friend for years, and I’m the one he’s coming home to every night. She’s not gonna do shit.” Her voice rises as she talks. The group collectively shoots her a look and she sighs, shoulders drooping. “Fine, so I care a little.”

“My favorite part was when Storm bet her a 100 bucks you punched her lights out, which I would very much like to see you do, so go get your man.” Hangman says, which earns him an elbow to the rib from Coyote.

“Rooster’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”

“I vote you go defend your honor.” Hangman responds, which results in another elbow to the ribs from his boyfriend and a glare from Rebel.

“They’re coming over here.” Bob mutters, twisting back around from where he’d been watching Ace flirt with Rooster. Rooster looks unhappy about the pilot who’s following him, Fanboy and Payback still watching from the bar, choosing to stay out of it, it seemed. Atlantis materializes next to his sister as Rooster and Ace arrive.

This should be interesting.

Rooster hands his girlfriend a beer, arm casually slipping around her shoulders. Rebel’s jaw clenches as Ace makes eye contact with her, a smirk on her face as if she’s taunting her. Rooster clears his throat, glancing at the younger pilots who’ve joined them.

“You all know Ace.” He introduces, gesturing to the girl with the hand that’s holding his beer, arm never leaving his girlfriend. She offers a sickly sweet smile, waving. The group doesn’t return the gesture.

“Nice to see you all again.” Atlantis says and the group offers him a glance. Rebel moves, shifting away from her boyfriend to sit opposite Hangman, directly across from Ace. Phoenix exchanges a look with Bob, not enjoying the quiet anger that’s brewing in her Rebel’s eyes.

“Rooster, I have a question.” Ace asks and Rebel’s eyes narrow. Rooster, bless the oblivious boys heart, is unaware of what’s really going on and is very clearly baffled by the situation unfolding.

“Sure.”

“What’s your type?” Rooster’s eyes go wide.

“Um, my type is my girlfriend.”

Good boy Bradshaw.

Some of the tension bleeds out of Rebel’s shoulders. Atlantis is still eyeing her like he did the first night, looking at her in all the ways Phoenix wants to punch him for.

“Well, sure baby, but I could be your type too.” Ace says, a sickening sweetness dripping from her words. Fake, it’s all fake.

“No thanks. I’m very happy with my girlfriend.”

“Are you? I know it must be tiring, being with someone like her.”

“Excuse me?” Rooster says at the same time Coyote offers a “What the fuck are you talking about?” The two glance at each other, neither surprised at the speed in which they rush to defend her. Ace rolls her eyes, shifting.

“I mean, don’t you get tired of it? She never shuts up, she’s constantly making her problems everyone else’s, and she drags down everyone around her. She wouldn't even have half of what she does if it wasn’t for Maverick. The two of you deserve better and you know it.” Rooster huffs, straightening his shoulders as Coyote narrows his eyes. Phoenix takes a quick glance to Rebel, who’s leaning in closely to Hangman, listening closely to the words he’s whispering in her ear. Ace catches the movement too. Unfortunately. “See? I bet she’s cheating on you with him.” The pair pull apart as Hangman raises an eyebrow at her.

“I would never cheat on my boyfriend.” Hangman responds matter-of-factly, taking a sip of beer. Ace takes pause, cocking her head.

Atlantis snorts. “Yeah, that’s a special kind of betrayal, screwing your best friend’s boyfriend.” The quiet anger is still brewing in Rebel’s eyes as she watches Ace carefully.

“What?” Ace kisses, looking to her brother. He turns slightly.

“What, did you not know that?” She shakes her head.

“Yeah, Hangman and Coyote are gay for each other.” Phoenix catches Hangman’s hand shooting out, grabbing the back of Rebel’s jacket as she moves to stand up from her seat. Ace looks around the group, eyes landing back on Coyote.

“You know what, never mind. I’m not sure I want to be around people who support people like you.” If Phoenix peeks over Bob’s shoulder, she can see Hangman’s grip on her jacket tighten as a flash of hurt crosses Coyote’s face.

“Then get lost. We don’t want people like you over here anyways.” Rooster snaps.

Ace scoffs. “People like me?”

“Ignorant bitches who will treat everyone like dirt to get to the top. You don’t care about Rooster, you just care about ruining Rebel.” Phoenix responds and Ace turns to face her. “Fuck off.” Ace huffs, but does, turning on her heel as her brother trails after her. Hangman slowly lets his grip on Rebel go when he’s sure she’s not gonna take after the other pilot.

“Coyote, I’m sorry, she wouldn’t leave me alone.” Rooster mutters after a few minutes of silence. Coyote shrugs.

“Not your fault Bradshaw. Good on you for putting her in her place Nix.” He says, offering her his fist. She fistbumps him as Payback and Fanboy arrive at the edge of the group. The tension could be cut with a knife and Fanboy’s face reflects as much.

“The hell happened?”

Hangman opens his mouth to answer when Bob lets out a “Are you okay?” The group turns, realizing he’s talking to Rebel. The girl’s jaw is tight, her eyes stormy with the same quiet anger, not offering any words as she looks at the ground.

“Rebel, don’t worry about it. I’ve been told worse.” Coyote offers.

“Yeah, and she’s not gonna shake what we have.” Rooster follows up, but she doesn’t look up.

“’M fine. Who wants to play pool?”

Payback groans. “What did Ace do?” Fanboy straightens up.

“Who’s honor are we defending and how bad was it?” Rebel raises her head, running a hand through her hair.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you sure?” Hangman asks quietly, a rare moment of care shown between the two.

“Her day will come.”

You sigh, knocking on your Dad’s office door. You shift on your feet, still unsure about what you were about to do.

They needed to go.

“Come in.” He calls and you take a deep breath, pushing the door open. As far Navy offices go, it’s small and got a welcoming feel, one only your Dad could exude. Warlock and Cyclone are there, along with Thunder, one of the other TOPGUN instructors. He looks up, smiling. “Hey kiddo.”

“Hey, sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.” He shakes his head.

“No, not at all. What’s up?” You sigh, shutting the door behind you quietly.

“Um, I have a concern about one of your pilots. Two, actually.” He swallows as his face hardens. He nods his head to the chair in front of his desk and Cyclone quickly stands up, moving so you can take it. You sit, pulling your hands from your jacket as you swallow. “I want to preface this by saying that I would never intentionally try to get a pilot dismissed from the TOPGUN program because of a personal dislike for them.” Thunder exchanges a look with your Dad.

“What’s gone down?” He asks, folding his hands on his desk. You run a hand through your hair, taking a shaky breath.

“Atlantis and Ace. I have genuine concerns about them. I’m worried that they both might be a danger to other pilots.” Thunder sighs, settling on the edge of the desk.

“You wouldn’t be the first person to express concerns about Atlantis. What did he do?” He asks quietly.

“He’s not very good at respecting other female pilots spaces. I’ve heard rumblings from a few in the new class that he’s not willing to leave them alone, always trying to have a hand on them, making crude comments about their bodies. He’s exhibited this same behavior off-base to other female pilots. He doesn’t understand the word ‘no’ and gets visibly and verbally upset when he’s rejected. I myself have been subject to this.” Cyclone startles.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You shrug.

“It happened weeks ago, at the start of training. We were at the Hard Deck and he got kicked out for his behavior and I thought that was the end of it. But it hasn’t been and if this is how he’s blatantly treating his mentor figures along with fellow pilots, I don’t want to think about how he treats others back on his home base.”

“And Ace?” Thunder asks, unphased by the information regarding Atlantis’ behavior.

“What I’m about to say is on a need-to-know basis and can not leave this office unless absolutely necessary. I also don’t want this to be misconstrued as me going after her personally.” You say, looking Thunder in the eyes. He was a good man, but what you were about to reveal could not get out to the rest of the Navy. And it was personal, but no one needed to know why. Thunder nods, signaling for you to continue.

“The other night, a few of us were at the Hard Deck hanging out. Ace made a comment to Coyote about not wanting associate with people like him.”

“Meaning?” Your Dad asks and you turning your attention to him.

“Meaning as people who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community.” Thunder stands up as your Dad’s eyes widen. “I firmly and genuinely believe this was why she intentionally pulled that stunt during training yesterday.”

The day prior, Coyote and Ace had been assigned to fly with each other as part of the day’s training. She had pulled a stunt that would’ve gotten Coyote hurt had he not been as good of a pilot as he was, in addition to the fact that there was no real enemy plane chasing them, only Maverick. Your Dad had given her hell when she’d landed, but she seemed to care very little about Coyote’s well-being.

Your Dad sighs, shifting to lean back in his seat. “This isn’t the first time we’ve had these complaints about Atlantis. But this kind of behavior from Ace? Unbelievable.”

“I believe it. Respectfully, you guys don’t see how she treats the other pilots when you’re not around. She’s very careful to make sure this all happens off-base. And while Coyote is fine and has brushed the comment off, I worry about how she would treat an openly-gay pilot on a real mission. And I don’t want to let someone else get hurt because I was quiet about what I knew. And we’re all aware that the Navy has an expectation that no pilot would be discriminated against or treated unfairly because of their sexual orientation.” You’re looking at your Dad, and only your Dad now, begging, pleading, with him to understand where you’re coming from.

And he should, because he lived through Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. And he does, because you knew what he had with Uncle Ice.

Thunder looked to Maverick. “I think we both know what to do about Atlantis. But I’ll support whatever call you make about Ace. The Daggers are your pilots and you know them best.” Your Dad remained quiet, studying you.

“Does Coyote know you’re doing this?” Warlock asks from the chair next to you. You shake your head.

“He would be so mad if he did.” You respond quietly.

“Disregarding the fact that I’m displeased that this happened to one of my own pilots, you and I both know this can’t be tolerated Maverick.” Cyclone says, looking at your Dad. Your Dad finally sighs leaning forwards in his chair.

“Thunder, Cyclone, and I will discuss this with a few of the higher-ups. Thank you for bringing your concerns forward Lieutenant.” You swallow at the use of your rank, at the quiet emotion in his voice. You were in so much trouble. “Unless you have any other concerns you’d like to bring forward at this time, you may go.” You shake your head, standing up from the chair. Warlock and Cyclone bid you a quiet goodbye as you leave the office.

If Dad didn’t get to you first, Coyote was definitely going to kill you.

“Hey, are we good?”

You look up to see Coyote settling next to you in the rec room. Training with the TOPGUN class had been delayed for the day, and Atlantis and Ace were very noticeably missing. Their absence was the topic of the day as you all continued to wait. You had stayed quiet, not wanting to reveal what you had done.

You and Coyote hadn’t talked since that night at the Hard Deck. You and Rooster had talked some, but you hadn’t revealed your conversation with your CO’s to him either. He’d be pissed if he knew that this is what you had done. He could claim that Ace flirting with him was not a big deal, assure you that the two of you were secure in your relationship, but it wasn’t the flirting with him that had bothered you at your core. The things she had said, not only to Coyote, but to you, about you? Unforgivable. And you knew she wasn’t sorry for them, not in the slightest.

“Rebel?” He prods, nudging your shoulder with his own. You startle, realizing you had zoned out.

“Sorry, I spaced. What did you say?”

“Are we good? We haven’t talked much the last few days.”

“We’re fine Coyote.” You respond, offering him a tight smile that you know probably comes out more like a grimace. He looks at you as if he doesn’t quite believe you. Rooster quietly joins you, settling on your other side as you lean up against the windowsill.

“Did you do something I should know about?” He whispers quietly.

“Yeah, where the hell are those two?” Coyote says, crossing his arms.

You fixate your gaze to the board on the opposite side of the room. “Not a clue. And no.”

“Did you do something you don’t want me to know about?”

“No.” It’s a lie, but you’re not going to reveal it. There had been good intention in what you’d done, genuinely worried about the safety of other pilots, but it’d been rooted in selfishness and you couldn’t quite swallow the guilt about that fact. Hangman walks over to you, placing himself on the edge of the couch that’s nearest to the window.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly, shifting to rest his arms on his knees. You pull at your NAVY sweatshirt and shrug.

“What did you do?” Coyote asks as Maverick and Thunder appear in the doorway.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You whisper as the conversation in the room stalls, all looking to their CO’s. Your Dad clears his throat, glancing at Thunder.

“Sorry for the delay pilots. It’s been decided the Daggers are not going up with you as we need to sort out new arrangements. Ace and Atlantis have been let go from the TOPGUN program, dismissed for their behavior.” A murmur ripples throughout the TOPGUN class as every pilot from your squadron turns to face you. You feel yourself shrinking, trying to make yourself small at their gazes. You can feel both Coyote and Rooster straighten next to you, as Hangman gives you a look that tells you he sees right through you.

“What did you do?” Rooster whispers sharply.

Maverick clears his throat, silencing the pilots. “I want to remind you that sexual harassment or discrimination of any kind is not tolerated. We here at Miramar take these reports very seriously and do not want any other pilots to feel as if their behavior has been ignored.”

Coyote turns to look at you, but you refuse to meet his eye, only looking to your Dad, who you know is not thrilled with you. He falls back, turning to Thunder. Thunder steps forward, looking to the TOPGUN class. “You are all dismissed. Please head to the locker rooms and get ready for training for the day. Iron Daggers, will you stay for just one moment?” The TOPGUN class gets up to leave as your squadron pulls closer to the two CO’s. You swallow, willing them to not out you for what you had done. The door to the rec room shuts as your Dad sits one of the chairs, looking at his team.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry to you all if any of you were affected by Atlantis or Ace’s behavior. What both of them did never should have happened. Coyote, I’m especially sorry to you, because I know Ace’s views were reflected that day she flew with you.” Coyote shakes his head.

“No worries, sir. Walked away without a scratch.” Your Dad smile ruefully.

“And we’re all very glad for it.” He stands up, moving back to where Thunder stands. “You’re all dismissed.” The team moves to exit the room.

“Oh, and Rebel?” Thunder calls. You turn, as does the rest of the team.

“Thank you for coming forward about your concerns, I know that must not have been easy for you.” You swallow, nodding. You slip past the rest of the team and out into the hallway, everyone following behind you. Coyote catches up first, walking just behind you.

“Why did you do that? I told you it was fine and to let it go.” You turn abruptly, bumping into Coyote’s chest.

“Selfishly, I didn’t do it all for you.” You snap, eyes narrowing.

Hangman lets out a low whistle. “Damn, remind me to never fuck with you.” Rooster shoulders him out of the way as Coyote stumbles back from you.

“The hell was that?” Your boyfriend asks, the anger flickering in his eyes.

“No one is going to talk about me that way. My old squadron did enough of it.” Rooster deflates as he looks at you, glancing at Coyote. You sigh, slipping your hands into your back pockets as you look at your team and then back to your boyfriend and best friend.

“Look, I love the both of you. And I’d go to bat for you, always. But I didn’t do it just for you. What I did was out of genuine concern but it was also for me. I’m done being harassed by other pilots and I’m not sorry for standing up for myself for once.” You swallow, shrugging. “And if that upsets you, that’s on you, not me. I won’t apologize for what I did.” Rooster and Coyote exchange a look as Phoenix steps froward, slipping an arm around your shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you.” She laughs and you give her half a smile, rolling your eyes. “You know what, I’m buying you a beer.”

Hangman chuckles. “I’ll double that. Good on you.” You look back to Coyote and Rooster, who both seem to be struggling with what to say.

“I feel bad about it but I’m not sorry.” You say, feeling the guilt slip from your shoulders.

“For what it’s worth, if I was you, I would’ve done the same exact thing.” Bob says quietly and you look over to him. “You shouldn’t have to tolerate that from any one.”

“My Dad doesn’t think so. Thinks I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“Your Dad’s just mad he had to do the paperwork for dismissing someone.” Phoenix jokes, shaking you with the arm thats still slung around your shoulder.

“Speak of the devil.” Fanboy mutters as Halo and Fritz shift, allowing your Dad room into the group. Phoenix lets her arm fall from your shoulder as she straightens up.

“You are to never do that again, do you understand me?” He says quietly, only looking at you, and Rooster glances at him. Very rarely did you and your Dad fight but it was never good, what with two of you being the most stubborn of individuals who'd never budge.

“Mav-” Rooster gets bypassed as your Dad keeps talking.

“You are so lucky Atlantis was already halfway out the door and that Ace’s behavior was a real concern for the higher-ups because if just one of them suspected you were personally going after those two, you would have been dishonorably discharged within the day. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Have you actually asked her why she did it?” Rooster asks and your Dad pauses, looking to him. He shakes his head slowly. “You should hear her out Mav, it’s not what you think.” Your Dad swallows, shifting to straighten his shoulders.

“Out with it then.” He gestures to you.

“I don’t get a choice, do I?”

“Not a chance in hell. If you did this for either of these two, you and I are going to have serious issues.”

“I didn’t do it for them.” You sigh, glancing at your best friend. “Look, what she said wasn’t cool. But I’m fucking tired of pilots talking about and treating me however they want to.” Your Dad shakes his head, the anger now mixing with confusion.

“What?”

“Ace said some pretty terrible things about Rebel. About her relationship. Fully tried to get Rooster to cheat on her.” Hangman responds quietly, glancing around the hallways as if the girl would appear at the mention of her name.

“Like?” Your Dad prompts.

“No, we’re done talking about this.” You interrupt, casting a look to Hangman. Hangman had shared with you what Ace had actually said that night, in a hushed tone that only you could hear. It didn’t need to go any farther then three who were present for it and you. You look to Phoenix. “How about that beer?”

“No, we’re not done talking about this.” Your Dad responds, the anger returning.

“Listen, nobody gave a shit when Coyote put his wings on the line for me. What does it matter?”

“It matters because I don’t want you throwing away your career because a girl was flirting with your boyfriend. At least Coyote had a good reason.”

You scoff. “Oh, give me some credit here, please.” Your Dad sighs, studying you for a moment. “It’s not just about the flirting or the going after my relationship or hurting my best friend. She went after me. And maybe that’s a petty reason, but I don't care.”

“It’s not.” You look to your best friend, who sighs. “It’s not a petty reason.”

“I agree.” Rooster says, shifting. “Look, you- you’ve been through hell while in the Navy and like Bob said, I wouldn’t have tolerated it either. Not ever, not after what the Green Vipers put you through.” You swallow.

“So... we’re all good?” You asking, looking between the three men. They all nod and you let out a deep breath, feeling even more guilt slip from your shoulders. “Alright, so that beer?” You say, turning to Phoenix. She laughs and nods. The group turns, heading towards the parking lot as Rooster slips his hand into your own. When you reach the parking lot, he begins tugging you towards his Bronco.

“We’ll meet you over there.” He calls as the pair of you break off.

“Gonna lecture me in private?” You say quietly once the car’s been started and is pulling away from base.

“No, but I want to know why you didn’t tell me.”

“About which part?”

“That you were getting them fired.”

“Okay, my intention was not to get them fired.”

“You know what I meant.” He says, giving you a look.

“Look, I knew you’d be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just- Why did you let me think it was because you were jealous?”

“Well, I mean I was. No one likes seeing a younger, pretty, intelligent girl throwing herself at their boyfriend.”

He sigh, looking at you as he takes your hand. He squeezes it and then brings it up to his lips to kiss it gently. “You’re the only pretty, intelligent girl I want.” You swallow, biting your lip. The comment Ace had made about the two of you only staying together because of how long you’d been together was running on repeat in your head. You could hear the words, even though you hadn’t actually heard them, only repeated by Hangman. “What? What’re you thinking about?”

“But how do you know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like... we’ve known each other for years. How do we know that what we felt as teens is still... are we forcing something that isn’t there?” The road is quiet, but he pulls off to the shoulder anyways. He sighs, leaning back in his seat as he grips the steering wheel.

“What are you saying?” His voice is quiet, void of emotion, but you can see the hurt in his eyes as he looks at you. You shift, turning to face him.

“I just... if you’re staying with me because of how long we’ve been together or- or if you feel trapped-”

“Do you think I feel trapped?”

“No. I don’t know!” You defend as he looks away from you, grip adjusting on the steering wheel.

“So what, you want to break up?”

“No.” You say, shifting away from him.

“Why do you love me?” He asks and you turn again, gaping at him.

“Uh, because I love you?” You laugh nervously, uneasy about where he’s going with this. “Because you make me laugh into the night and you push me to be a better person. Because you’re the first person I want to tell things to and the first person I want to see in the morning. But this isn’t about me, this is about you and you staying because of what we’ve been through together. If you’re only with me because of the fact that we grew up together or because we spent so long apart or, whatever, I just- it would break my heart but I’d rather us not be together than for you to stay because- hmph.” You’re cut off by Rooster grabbing your shirt and pulling your lips to his.

He pulls away after a moment, but he remains close to you, eyes searching your face. “Sorry, I needed you to shut up for a minute.” He swallows as his hands move from you shirt to your face, cradling it as he looks at you honestly. It takes everything in you to not look away from his piercing look that’s making you feel more vulnerable than you’ve ever felt.

“Ace said something about us only staying together because of how long we’ve been together. And I just- I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay because-”

“Because what? Because you were there when Mom died? Because you were at my high school graduation? Honey, I love you because you were there. I’ve been with other girls but no one has ever truly understood me in the way you do, because no one gets it like you do. You were there on every anniversary after Dad died. You were there when Mom got sick and you were there when she passed. You were there when I graduated from high school and you were there, even when you weren’t. I love you because at 16, the only thing I wanted to do when I got my license was go on road trips and listen to music with you. I love you because you knew Mom and she adored you, and you felt her death just as much as I did. I love you because you forgave me, even when you didn’t have to. I love because you’re my partner and the only person I have felt this myself with. I love you because you scream Taylor Swift songs in the car and cry over videos of cute dogs and let me cook for you, even though I know you’ve learned how. I love you because of how long we’ve known each other. There’s no one else in this world I would want to be with.” You take a shaky breath, moving away from his grasp to wipe away your tears. He grabs your chin, turning your head back to him so he can wipe them away with his thumb, still looking at you with that raw honesty, the pure love that you’re not so sure you deserve. You swallow, unsure of what to say.

“I-”

“For the record, I don’t want another pretty pilot. I want you. It’s only ever been you.” You nod, still feeling breathless.

“I know.” You whisper, because you do know. There’s a beat of silence as he takes one of your hands. “Do you think they’d be mad if we didn’t show?” He raises his eyebrow. “I kind just want to go home.” You whisper. He chuckles softly, leaning over to give you one more kiss.

“Yeah, let’s go back to my place.”

Once back at the Bradshaw household, he ordered pizza as you warded off texts in the group chat, rain-checking the beers Phoenix and Hangman owed you. They were giving the two of you shit, stating that you guys could bone later (thanks Hangman) which earned a middle finger emoji from your end. Later, once you were fed and wrapped up underneath a blanket with your boyfriend, him pressing soft kisses to your shoulder and rubbing circles into the skin did you bring up what happened in the car.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as the movie flickers across the screen, casting the only light in the room. The words are so quiet, you’re unsure if he heard them.

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have gotten mad.”

“No, not that, I meant it when I said I wasn’t sorry. The other thing. What I said in the car.”

“Oh.” Oh? You swallow nervously, rolling to face him, back turned away from the TV. “Hi.” He whispers, reaching up to poke your nose. You scrunch it and stick your tongue at him, causing him to laugh. “Don’t be sorry. I love you. This is the one thing you don’t have to worry about, because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have-”

“Honey, your Mom left. Your old team spent two years telling you in detail all the reasons why no one would ever like you. Ace wasn’t kind with her words and I’d be upset too. It’s okay.”

“Still-”

“I’ll kiss you to make you shut up again.” He threatens but there’s no malice in his words, only laughter.

“Wouldn’t hate that.” You whispered and he smirked.

“Yeah, I know.”

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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years

Note

Hi! First of all, I want to say I adore your writings. I'm actually kicking myself for not coming across you sooner lol.

Second, I'd like to make a request if I may?

I'd love to see headcanons on how yandere Dabi and yandere Hawks would react to a female darling who's never had a relationship before and is actually kind of happy they want her, but she also can't help but feel like they could do so much better because no one was ever wanted her before in a romantic way.

If you aren't comfortable with it, no problem! Please and thank you :)

Yandere Hawks and Dabi with a female darling who’s never been in a relationship

Warnings: Yandere behavior.

Author Note: I got to this a bit late so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted! Thank you so much darling, that means so much <333

Dabi

To some degree, he can relate. He’s had some casual hook-ups a few times, just for flinging and having fun. So he understands the hesitance and fear that comes with never being in a relationship before; as he has it too, though never expressing it.

His reaction is being extremely happy, smirking at the fact you’ve never been in a relationship, willing to be in a relationship and are happy with him, something he’s wanted for so long.

However, the fact that makes him a bit disappointed is that you wish you could ‘do better’, as if you aren’t the most perfect doll in the entire world.

Dabi is surprisingly patient, giving you as much space as needed so you both can get used to being in a relationship. Sure, he’ll come home after a hard day of being in a meeting with Shigaraki and want to cuddle you till the sun rises the next day; but he’ll make sure to never push you far enough to not be around him.

He loves you to death, meaning he’ll try to learn as much as he can about you while offering to walk around the roof-tops or cook something so the both of you can bond with each other better.

If you ever decide to push yourself away from him or criticize yourself for ‘wishing to be better’, Dabi will certainly grab your chin and force you to look him directly in the eyes, making you repeat the words of: “I’m good enough to be in a relationship.”

Keigo Takami / Hawks

To be exact, he knows what he’s doing. He’s only been in a few relationships but they lasted pretty short, stating along the lines that his past-partners couldn’t handle the amount of work he had.

Much like Dabi, he’s excited to say the least; jumping up and down while whispering nothing but praises into your ear while covering you with his wings. He’s glad he’s the only one in your life who is willing to be your first and only.

But the minute he hears you wish you could ‘do better’ is where he gets confused, almost getting mad from how you would think that. Being in a relationship takes time, especially if it’s your first time being in a committed association.

Keigo is clingy, wanting to be around you 24/7. Even though he's patient, willing to give you space to get used to his clingy behavior, sometimes he can't help himself but hug you so tightly.

If you want, he'd absolutely love to take you out; wanting you to engage learning about him as much as he wants to learn more about you. Whether that's him carrying you while flying or order take out while watching your favorite movies.

Now, if you decide to distance yourself from him, he'd be very on alert, thinking someone is forcing you to stay away. But the moment he finds out that it's you being insecure. He'd be very sad, peppering your face with kisses while whispering that 'you don't need to be insecure, angel. I'm here'.

—

Masterlist | Requests closed (8/19/2022)

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

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darkstar225 · 1 year

Text

Twice's 10th member is receiving hate

The members noticed the difference in her mood the whole day. It could be because she got bad grades, she woke up late as she spend the night training or because of the hate she's receiving. Maybe all of them but the unnies wouldn't know, she didn't wanna seem weak and bother them with her issues when she knows all of them also receive hate and are doing fine. After a long day, she said good night to her sisters and practically sprinted to her room without her roommates (SMC) sleeping as soon as her head touched the pillow, which was already a bad sign since she hated to sleep without someone in the room with her.

Meanwhile in the living room...

Jihyo - Did you girls see how she looks tired?

Jeongyeon - Yeah, she's also in a mood. The girl can give us a run for our money when she's being sassy *rolls her eyes*

Nayeon - I taught her well *dries fake tears*

Momo - Be serious grandma, we're talking about our child

Nayeon - YAH! STOP CALLING ME GRANDMA

Dahyun - With all due respect unnie, shhhhh. You know Y/N is a light sleeper (can't relate, I could sleep through an earthquake)

Tzuyu - She's right unnie, once I got thirsty and opened the door to go to the kitchen and get a cup of water. She woke up immediately asking if I was okay

Chaeyoung - Fr, can someone go check if she woke up, please? I feel like it's been some time since she fell asleep so fast, she's probably exhausted. I agree with Jihyo unnie.

Sana - I'm gonna see if she's still in her room, brb

On the SMC room...

Y/N - Well, that didn't go the way I wanted. I wish I'd just escape this hate, they're not being fair to me, I keep being up all night overthinking all the mistakes they point out and training to be better than what they see. Am I not good enough? Maybe I suck at this. What if the group did improve without me being the black sheep?

While thinking all of this she wasn't aware that a certain hamster had entered her room and informed the rest she was awake. When she finally came back from her mind, she let out a scream because her unnie was just staring at her looking quite creepy

Y/N - UNNIE, YOU SCARED ME!

Sana - Sorry honey, you're somewhere else but I knocked before entering. How are you? You seemed kinda out of it...

Y/N - I'm doing okay unnie, just lost a night's sleep, otherwise, I feel fine

Sana - Don't lie to me, we know you. Right guys?

At that moment everyone that was outside the door went inside and nodded their heads.

Mina - Sana's right babe, we took note that you're not the same as always as soon as you got out of your bed this morning.

Y/N - But-

Jihyo - No buts, we're getting through the issue you're having and you're getting some sleep after this with me (Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Mina's room)

Dahyun - Unnie is right (again), start talking, please... We're worried about you!

Y/N - That's exactly why I didn't wanna talk with you guys. I don't want to be a burden.

Momo - Again with this... We already talked about it, you know you're important to us and we care about you and your feelings, every time you need someone to hear you, we're there for you. Stop thinking that you're burdening us when you get sad, hurt or even mad like this morning. We know you like the back of our hands and we'll understand anything you request without questioning 'cause you always try to express what you need. Except if you ask for my jokbal lmao

Chaeyoung - What a way to kill the moment, da- dang.

Nayeon - And here I thought Momo was speaking facts, yeah... That sounds more like her lol

Jihyo - You did well Momo... Don't think we forgot about you young lady

Y/N - I mean, you could... Jk, tysm for always assuring me that you love me, sometimes things appear to be harder to believe after everything you hear from people.

Jeongyeon - Which people? Who do I've to kill?

Tzuyu - Am I the only one who already understood what's going on? She's receiving hate! Now that I know everything falls in place, the anger, the sadness, the insecurity...

Mina - Wow, it makes sense. Is this it sweetie?

Y/N - Yo, are you a therapist 'cause gee, you read me like a book lol

Sana - Stop joking, if that's the case, it's something severe

Y/N - Ok, ok. I'm sorry. Yeah, I got some hater recently that I can't get out of my hair, they talked about my dancing skills, my vocals, how I'm always lazy on stage and my poor expressions. It sucks as I'm starting to believe it and I can't seem to stop wanting to train, that's why I stay late at the studio. I'm exhausted unnies, it hurts so much to see that no one notices my efforts and just sees what I did incorrectly. *sobs*

Jihyo pulls Y/N closer and she lays on her chest while crying. Jihyo feels her shirt getting wetter as time went by and she felt heartbroken to see her maknae so glum. Without anything else to do everyone sat near and gave their love in their own style, all while Jihyo caressed Y/N's back repeating that things will be okay.

After half an hour, sobs turned into sniffles and Y/N got out of Jihyo's chest and leaned on Momo that was behind her. Momo instantly gave her a kiss on the forehead, making the maknae giggle and the unnies hearts flutter with how cute she looked being so vulnerable.

Jihyo - Are you better now?

Y/N - It's not something that goes away like magic but you guys made me feel inches better, you're the best family I could ask for!

Twice - OWNNNNN, that's what we're here for love bug. We're pressing charges against your haters or we're not TWICE!

You can certainly expect all the members to appear at JYP to threaten JYPapa so he can make that come true and give some vacation so they can help their dear maknae to heal because they love their dear maknae.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

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counting-stars-gayly · 2 years

Text

I saw a post claiming that Heartstopper condemns the idea of someone in the closet asking an out person to be in a secret relationship with them, and I just want to explain why that’s not at all true.

While Nick feels bad for wanting his romance with Charlie to be secret, it becomes more evident as the season goes on that it doesn’t actually have the affect on Charlie he thinks it does (that’s why he said he was fine with it) and that he shouldn’t feel guilty.

For example: when Charlie gets hurt in the rugby match, Nick wants to check on him but is worried that people might somehow see that and assume he’s gay. He realizes his fear is momentarily getting in the way of his kindness, and he takes that as meaning that him being in the closet is automatically wrong. (It’s why he starts misremembering Charlie’s reaction to their earlier conversation.) But that’s not the case; he just got scared and froze up because he’s a kid under pressure. So afterward, he apologizes to Charlie, but this apology is about more than not looking out for him in that one moment; it’s also about being in the closet, which he shouldn’t apologize for.

Nick thought he was giving Charlie a hard time by keeping their relationship temporarily secret, but every time he did something unfair, he said sorry and changed his behavior. As long as you and your partner(s) are on the same page, communicating, and treating one other with respect, the level of secrecy to the relationship doesn’t make either/any of you a dick or a bad partner. So the problem here wasn’t secrecy — rather, it was that Charlie didn’t wholly believe Nick wanted him romantically.

In his relationship with Ben, it was clear that his personality didn’t matter; Ben only cared about whether his own needs were being met. When he said, “I like you,” he meant, “I like how you look. I like what you can do for me.” When Nick said, “I like you,” he meant, “I like you as a person,” But how was Charlie supposed to know the difference between two, identical sentences?

He felt like his purpose was to make Nick (and everyone else) happy, so whenever anything slightly related to him made Nick unhappy, he assumed it was his fault. If he wasn’t catering to another’s needs (especially *physical* needs in this case), he didn’t deserve to be loved by them.

That’s why the conversation between Nick and Tao in episode eight is so important. Tao doesn’t tell Nick to come out; he tells him that Charlie wants to be more than the guy he kisses. If Nick also wants more than kissing, he should be extra specific about those feelings because Charlie won’t take hints. He won’t trust his own, initial understanding of the situation and will assume the worst just in case. So Nick saying, “You are the kindest, most thoughtful and caring and amazing person in the whole world,” meant everything to Charlie because all of those compliments can only be interpreted as being about his personality.

Though it did make things more difficult, their relationship being secret wasn’t what made Charlie feel like shit. Charlie felt like shit because of his insecurities and trauma, and Nick coming out wasn’t going to change his level of self esteem. He just needed to know he deserved love.

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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hi, i absolutely love ur writing-! May I request 26 and 30 from thw bloody valentines prompts by another-yandere-writer for arkham knight or arkham city riddler? Whichever game you're more familiar with

I've written for the Arkham Knight version in the past so I'll use that one ^^ Here's another late one for the V-Day prompts. (Links may be broken)

I spent forever coming back to this as I have no idea how to write the Riddler :( He's such a cool character but I struggle so much with his character I guess.

I'm happy you love my writing, sorry you had to wait months for this!

Prompts Found Here

Original Arkham Knight Riddler Concept Here

Yandere! Arkham Knight! Riddler V-Day Prompts 26 and 30

"You will be mine."

"I will chase you forever until I finally get you to myself."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Kidnapping, Unhealthy mental state, Stalking, Manipulation, Deception, Threats, Forced relationship.

The Riddler has always been a cryptic man. He's been known for his riddles around Gotham. Everything is a riddle with him...

Including his romantic intentions.

He's an insecure and confusing man to understand. There's times he wants to force you, his obsession, to worship him and the ground he walks on. Then there's other times where he wants to worship you... acting like you're the best thing that's ever happened to him.

There's times he wants you to call his name... then there's times he hates to hear it. The Riddler both wants to be held yet left alone.

His toughest riddle is how to show him affection.

The Riddler has been hooked on you for a long time. Way before he managed to keep you in a cage of his design... you caught his eye.

You were an ally of Batman... a smart one, too.

Your intelligence rivaled that of the detective himself. The Riddler at first felt threatened. Batman humiliated him all the time, now you were going to join him?

Yet... you didn't. You solved his riddles but he never got too upset about it. The Riddler found your presence pleasant compared to the Batman.

Each riddle he made you complete felt like a game. He wasn't sure why he felt so different towards you, he doubted you even thought of him the same. Perhaps you just weren't as judging?

Maybe you being different was simply an illusion crafted from his mind to excuse his abnormal adoration towards you.

He'd never say this out loud until he had you to himself but The Riddler had fallen for you. At first he simply had you participate in riddles with Batman. Then he removed Batman all together.

It became your form of bonding... each time he saw you, it drove him insane.

Even his conversations towards you became awkward flirting you'd always refuse.

"Have I mentioned how great you look tonight, dear? I made this one all for you...."

"How DARE you think you're too good for me!" You recall him saying. "I will chase you forever until I finally get you to myself!"

He'd flirt before every little puzzle of his, only to get frustrated when you turn him down. It's a quick switch in mood and you tried to only set him off at the end of his riddles.

You quickly noticed his motive with his riddles. Each riddle after that was strangely related to you or him. He was also getting desperate with his flirting until he snapped one day.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Do you have a thing with the Bat!?" He yelled at you once, you could hear the growl in his voice. "... you know we can't have that, dear."

"It's simple..." You remember The Riddler saying before starting the final riddle he prepared for you. "You will be mine."

The riddle planned for you was a trap. Pass or fail, your fate would've been the same. Tossed into a cage with irritating green paint... right in front of The Riddler himself.

That was when The Riddler finally had you to himself. It required some cheating, sure, but he's won this game of romance. That's all it was in his mind,

A game of courtship that he was leading you through... testing you to see if you were right for him.

Now... you truly are his. All locked in a cage... collar around your neck... looking like his little pet more than some sidekick. He liked the confidence you gave him.

Meanwhile you're trying to hold out until Batman comes around. For now... you have to follow his little games. Each day is a new riddle... something else to solve so you can keep Riddler entertained.

He liked to work your mind. He loved to watch you solve something. What he adored even more was how affectionate you got when he threatened you.

You may have never said it... but he knows Batman is coming. You may be affectionate now... yet he knew you'd turn right around once Batman came in the picture. The thought angered him...

But Riddler is prepared.

He'll make his deadliest riddle yet... once the bat is gone, then he'll finally have you all to himself.

#yandere dc comics #yandere the riddler #yandere riddler #yandere arkhamverse riddler #yandere edward nygma #yandere dc villains #yandere arkhamverse #yandere arkham knight riddler

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celestie0 · 1 month

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MAKE THEM FUCK LIKE RABBITS IN TBE NEXT CHAPPPPPPP. Like wdym bae u got the athlete stamina? Physical touch is your love language? You've been dying to touch me? my cooter won't let him leave till I've had my fill (pun intended) 😀😀😀😀

Ok jokes aside just finished reading the recent chap + the headcanons and oh god I have THOUGHTS. Kai and his loser clique can all rot, leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are. I'm not a film major but in somewhat similar humanities field and personally I could relate so much to that scene of a group of guys putting a lone girl in such an intimidating situation just to "teach her a lesson" because they consider themselves experienced. Like go to hell. Kudos to her for immediately slapping that cunt and putting kai in his fucking place.

And as for our main couple oh my god 😭 yn you broke my heart by what you said to gojo (I can't imagine how terrible she'd feel once she finds out his past like it's just so heartbreaking to have lost so much and have to hear that you have it easy. Ily bby toru), but watching her accept that she was wrong and how they both communicated really warmed my heart. Fucking finally he admitted he likes her and wants to be with her. Now go be w your girl!!

Thank you for this chapter!😙 it was well worth the wait and I've been in such a good mood ever since reading it. Thank you for your efforts 🫂

like rabbits 😭😭😭🤣🤣 i am unfortunately putting gojo in celibacy camp for next chap bc he needs to master abstinence🧍🏻‍♀️it’s a 7-day program so we’ll see if he survives /joking. YOUR COOTER COMMENT HAS ME DYING

“leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are”

just exactly ditto. exactly this. i’ve no words to add, u 100% slayed w this. kiss 💋

im happy (but also not very happy) that u resonated w the bar scene. obv not so happy bc i hate that you’ve had to go through that but i rly hope it was some sort of representation for what you’ve had to face :””) i swear men who try to sabotage women’s careers bc of their own insecurities r the scum of earth

AND YES aaa reader’s dialogue in the argument 💔💔 it was so out of line but w everything she’s been dealing w i think it was just a cumulation of all the build up. it felt real to write that part bc ive been in situations where i’ve really liked men who just cannot show up for me the way i need them to, and just turning them into a “villain” was the easiest way to get over them, and i think that’s what was going through reader’s mind in that moment :”) but yes she apologized n i don’t think satoru holds it against her all that much bc he understands her well, but oof yea big chance the regret is gonna bite her down the line

SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE BACK BB i’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter n you’re in a good mood after reading it omg 🥺💕 thank u so freaking much for the ask

#kickoff #asks #anon

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forgeofthenine · 1 hour

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How do you think things would play out if insecure human Tav had feelings for Dammon, but she mistakenly thought he was hitting on Karlach all those times he helped her with her heart? With Tav being oblivious and mistakes that it’s because she is human and that Karlach is a tiefling that he has no interest in her, but in reality he does. How do you think Dammon would respond if there’s a little comment like: “I know it’s Karlach you were hoping to see.”

I'm not sure if I leaned too into the insecure descriptor in the prompt, especially after not doing any writing for so long, but I hope everyone's able to enjoy. I missed my main man so much <3

She isn't you

"I know it's Karlach you were hoping to see."

You can see the whites of Dammons as soon as the sentence leaves your mouth, shock washing over him. It's something you'd tiptoed around for months. The way Dammon looks at Karlach, how he gravitates towards her, how that kills you inside. No one could blame you for falling for the sweet blacksmith with his easy smile and firm confidence.

He'd spent these past months giving your companion the gift of touch back, laughing at her raunchy remarks and looking at her like she'd hung the moon and stars. Hours were spent in his forge fixing her heart, idle chatter between the three of you the only real entertainment. Hours of inadvertently third wheeling them all because of your own unrequited crush. Karlach was your friend though, and if they were happy then you weren't going to interfere.

His lips part slowly. Beautiful, chapped lips you so desperately want to kiss but know you never will. Soon, Dammon finds his voice again. He seems so genuinely confused, as if he can't understand where you got that idea.

"Why would I want Karlach when you're here?"

A long tail flicks behind him, nearly taking out a table leg. A concerned look covers the blacksmiths face as he leans in, hands spreading over his workbench. "Not that Karlach isn't lovely, she is, but I'd prefer to have you here." Dammon clarifies carefully.

It's your own turn to gawk now, looking at the teifling standing there in the firelight. You'd never expected this, to have him so quickly disagree with something you were so certain of. "But... Aren't you and Karlach..." You trail off, unsure of how to word things, picking at your nails.

"Aren't we... what? Seeing each other?" Dammon asks, rounding his work bench with a small chuckle, the wooden floor creaking under steady steps. "Is that assumption what's held you back?" His calloused hand takes yours, smoothing a thumb over your skin as the tiefling draws in your gaze. Blue eyes crinkle at the corners with a small grin, a teasing smile appearing on the blacksmiths face.

"Well, isn't it true?" You gape, gripping his hand. The new brazenness draws a full laugh from the tiefling, topped off with a shake of his head. It's a dumbfounding revelation, after months of near torture watching the two of them only to find out none of your assumptions were true. "Stop laughing, I'm being serious-" You insist, a small frown growing on your face.

Dammon calms himself, still grinning down at your pout. "I know, and I'm sorry." His voice is lower now, missing that teasing lilt you love so much. "There's nothing happening between Karlach and I, promise. I did ask her for some advice, though." He adds, gently squeezing the hand enveloped in his.

You cock your head, wondering whatever advice he could've gotten from Karlach. Something to do with Avernus or leaving the hells? Something tiefling related? The visible confusion almost makes Dammon laugh again, but he contains himself. Instead, a firm tail snakes it's way around your leg, winding around you with a firm pressure.

"I wanted to know how best to ask one of her friends out."

#naming this was the absolute hardest #i just gave up and kept its draft name #bri answers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 dammon #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader #bg3 dammon x reader

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everythingwasnormalhere · 2 days

Note

Craig headcanons, go

GO GAYS GO 🙌✨

Autistic

He's so autistic it's insane

He has shutdowns way too often :(

Even more often as he grows up

He's associated flipping people off with being able to leave class (to go to counselor's office) so he does it when he gets too overwhelmed at school

Because he's never been taught it's wrong, too, but that's secondary

When he has shutdowns he goes non-verbal too

Which has gotten everyone to assume he's simply not too talkative and let him be

Tweek eventually learnt what Craig's shutdowns were and he helped him out with them every time since then

For example getting Craig out of class when he looked like he was getting overwhelmed

Craig's so grateful for this<3

He doesn't get an autism diagnosis until 15 for some reason

Even though he didn't talk until he was 4- it's really weird it took him so long to get it actually

He had a really hard time coping with his diagnosis at first

So much internalized ableism

He probably locked himself in his room for a couple days after that

He told Tweek before he told anyone else

And Tweek helped him come to terms with it<3

Now he's fine with it :)

He hates how noise cancelling headphones feel, and instead wears earplugs to block noise

He doesn't ask teachers for permission because they can't see the earplugs with his hat anyways

His spin is totally space

He Loves space

He's infodumps to Tweek about it really often, Tweek loves it even though he doesn't understand even a third of it

He has those glow in the dark stars on his room's ceiling and a projector

His style never changed much through his life, comfortable clothes, nothing really specific

He's never stopped wearing that hat

Even though it's kinda broken now

Transmasc (he/him), only Tweek and his family know

He's always been so Boy even as a little kid that nobody's ever thought he could be anything else at all

Not exactly insecure about this but... Yes

Awful chest dysphoria

He's gay :)

His father thought that meant he was actually a girl but nope

Sorry for crushing your hopes Mr Tucker but your son is gay 😔✨

He's actually fine with it after not too long dw

Craig's family life is pretty great :)

Still he sleeps at Tweek's quite often

When he's not, Tweek's usually sleeping at his

Because otherwise they both struggle sleeping by themselves

They have such a healthy and cute relationship istg

They've been fake dating since they were 9, real dating since 10, and Craig got them promise rings at 13

They've obviously had troubles a couple times but they fixed them<3

Btw Craig got braces at 12 and wore them till 14

His teeth went from Awful to Actually Pretty Ok

But the braces made him so insecure while he wore them

His favorite subjects at school are the ones related to science

Math? He's awesome at it

Physics? He loves it

Chemistry? Fuck yeah

Biology? Pretty cool too

He hates literature with his whole soul though

"What was the artist feeling here?" "How would I know I wasn't there" (mood)

He's taller than Tweek until he turns 13

After that Craig mostly stops growing and instead Tweek gets so tall it's crazy

It felt so weird to them at the beginning 😭

And yes, Craig is half Peruvian on his mom's side :)

He and Kenny have conversations in Spanish sometimes

It's something they bond over idk

Aaand I think that's it :D he's a pretty chill dude tbh

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can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession · 1 year

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Hey again 😼 maybe another idea for you? Maybe Gorillaz members w a trans ftm s/o who’s insecure about being trans; like they don’t like that they still have feminine bits ig lol

Hope you’re having a slaytastic day

-🍜

FTM S/O dealing with dysphoria from their appearance

WRITERS NOTES: Hey great to hear from ya again 🍜Anon. And Y E S i love this idea, i think your talking about body baised gender dysphoria, which i can relate to hugely- that shit sucks ass. I think I got outa had with Murdoc's hc, and I had more ideas for some then others. And with that I hope you slaytastic day yourself. And honestly no to sure how I would go about writing this, so if this isn't exactly what you wanted sorry. And sorry if they aren't as long as usual, but like I said I lacked Ideas for this sadly

[ANOTHER NOTE: eh... sorry this took awhile I won't be posting at my previous pase due to the fact a lot of life stuff has been happening recently, and I just don't have as much time as I would like, though I hopefully won't be this slow at writing but just working at a more comfortable pase.]

Edited: fuck no

All art in this post is mine

TW:Curssing, gender dysphoria, transphobia, Implied drug uses, Murdoc being drunk, T, Murdocs dad, Murdocs childhood, ahhh- theres probably more but I can't think of it- so tell me if ya think of anything

Characters:

/Gorillaz/

What?

What do you mean you don't like you body?

What is there to not like?

Huh- specific parts you say?

He still doesn't understand- I mean he understands that the fact that you are trans which means your body is not exactly your favorite part of yourself due to the lack of matching you identified gender but he does not understand the depth of upset-ness his boyfriend feels- but like I said he tries his best

So S/O would have to try and explain it 2D

And in the end 2D does understand more but he still doesn't fully grasp everything so 2D turns to google for answers

When 2D woke up at night again from his migraines and couldn't go back to sleep he decides this is the best time to do his research... at 2:00 AM, so 2D goes on insomnia fulled google spree

And my dear fucking lord satan does he go down a rabbit hole

2D can hardly process half the shit he reads

And by the end of it his head is spinning and he's so fucking exhausted

But at least he grasped some stuff and understands even more now, and he knows what he should do!

But first he needs a little nap he earned it

When he wakes up the the first thing he can remember it binders- so his scowers the internet and orders everyone he sees- good and bad quality, I mean its not like 2D's reading the reviews he's just ordering ever single one he stumbles upon

Then he goes to the store and buys even more

It's moments like this he's glad he remembers he's got a shit ton of money

And one day when S/O comes over to vist 2D- 2D tells his boyfriend to stand there for a second

"Hun- do'ya mind stand'en dere fer sec"

He giggles to himself as he runs in the other room, leaving S/O concerned and confused

Next thing you know- your on the floor after what feels like who knows how many binders have been flug/dumped on you

It takes a silent minute for 2D to process that you may be stuck

In which 2D freaks and digs S/O and explains to him that he was trying to my S/O feel better- which touched S/O that 2D cared this much about him

And then S/O had to explain that he didn't need this many binders

So the two of you spent the next two hours picking out what binders work best

S/O was modeling each one- and figured out which one fit best(because 2D didn't really check sizes either), and were as comfortable as possible

And the whole time 2D was praiseing and tell S/O he looked amazing

After S/O picked thw ones he liked, both decided to donate the remaining binders

Its was really sweet of of him

But either way 2D will in any way possible try and make S/O feel better about himself

2D is just as physically affectionate with his S/O in this as as he would be in any other

Though he can get a bit anxious about touching S/O since his dysphoria was body baised- and was scared of triggering a bad reaction

2D has a big thing for words of affirmation, but due to S/O's body baised gender dysphoria- he tends to praise his boyfriends body spisificly, and it's very obvious what he's trying to do when he says it

"Ya' know I' didn't tink I could be attracted to someones frame... iz... broad.... and manly..."

"Your face is soooo handsome-- oh!.... an' guy-ish..."

It's not like he's lieing he's just kinda shit at subtly tell his boyfriend about it

Either way- while he can be a bit ignorant at first he tried his damn best

"Why trans people need'a binder? Are they going to school?"

*S/O facepalming*

Murdoc

Ok before we can start we need talk about transgender stuff in general and Murdoc did that make sense?

In the 2D x Male S/O x Murdoc, 2D x Male S/O, and Murdoc x Male S/O I had briefly mentioned Murdocs dad being homophobic- well that doesn't even scratch the surface of Sebastian's asshole-lery

Sebastian was a dick queer/LGBTQIA+ people, not like "FUCK THE GAYS- THEIR DELUSIONAL" more like "I talk a bit of shit about queer people behind peoples back, don't be like them son" -ish way

In which he instilled those trashy views on Murdoc as a kid, as when I said 'talk shit behind people I meant he "talked" about it to Hannibal and Murdoc, and randos he hung out with at the bar(I might do a separate thing in the future on how I think murdocs childhood went down, and what kind of person Sebastion was, cuz theres A LOT I could say)

And due to his fathers ways being imprinted in his head as a kid, Kid/Teen Mudz was not exactly found of queer/LGBTQIA+ people in general either

Well it's not like society liked them at that time either: Murdocs year of birth 1966, The year Britain legalized gay marriage 2014

So at that time no one was exactly fond of them

But either way Kid/Teen Murdoc fond of them either

And because of his wasn't fond of them- Murdoc Bullied/teased any one of the queer/LGBTQIA+ community... like a lot... yeah lets just say his sense of humor wasn't exactly nice..

These actions and old views still haunt him to this day

Russel's the only one who knows the full extent of his behavior as a kid because while drunk Murdoc confessed this to him, and 2D over heard a bit- but was swiftly bunbarded by Murdoc once he noticed 2D, Mudz begged them to not tell Noodle

And most of this shit is internalized so if you can't rip open Mudz chest with your love and affection- then good luck getting a straight answer from him

This guilt didn't bother him as much in earlier phases(before plastuc beach).... though thats not saying much

But when the later phases arrived he started drinking tiny bit less, which made memories resurface.... and my god he felt guilty

Ok Fuck- on to the actual hc now...

Wether its phase 1 or phase 7, Murdocs anxious as hell around his S/O, because of the fact they are trans- and this is true before they even started dating- if learned that info before dating

I mean it's nothing to do with his S/O and the fact he's trans- in the sence of his S/O's physically body he does not care you bits you have man- he can work with either...

But... he can't stop thinking about the way he treat trans people in the past- he feels soooo guilty(which he should, he acted like a dickwad)

And what worries Murdoc the most is... he's scared his new boyfriend that accepted him for his flaws and failures, and never looked at him like was worthless.... was gonna leave him because of how he acted when he was ignorant and young

One day when he's drinking alone in the Winnebago he's hit with a overwhelmed wave of guilt, that almost felt suffocating

*BUZZ*

*Phone call from ❤️Mudzy❤️*

You pick up the phone

All you hear is Murdocs indisputable sobs of apologies- while simultaneously saying something about his dad, Trans, he was young and dumb- wait did he say something about you breaking up with him?!? What the hell is he on about?

It was obvious to you he was absolutely fucked up... like even worse the usual?

You told him to sit tight and you'll be there as fast as he can

You arive and he is absolutely fucking all over the place

The Winnebago is more trashed then then usual and he's in the center of it alllll messed up

H looks like he wants to hug you but he pulls back like if he did you would hate him

To sum it up- you two spent the next 3 hours talking about his past and how you still love him, and he could not control how he was raised

Holy fuck uhhh nevermind... NOW on to the ACTUAL hc :b

He has a hard time understanding your insecurities about you body but he tries- he just thinks you too hot

So you have to like sit him down and try and make him understand- cuz otherwise he clueless- which would make worry cuz he doesn't like not knowing whats going on

So google this shit he will

Google leeds him to some interesting things... like he learns about T(testosterone hormones for transitioning)

And after siting on the idea for a bit, when he got drunk Murdy kept trying to order T, but he couldn't cuz you need a note from a doctor/therapist/psychologist to get that shit

And you found him throwing a tantrum- screaming at his computer. Fun fact this happens pretty often, because he's really bad with computers...well except for when it come to the sketchy part of the internet, Mudz knows a lot about that stuff. I swear he's on a FBI watch list

When S/O asks whats wrong murdoc spouts on about how he FUCKING can't get T for his wonderful boyfriend- *sniff* to make him feel better- *sob* make him feel better

Yes Murdoc starts to have another drunken break down

And again you have to sit him down and explain the complex process of getting stuff like that

"Well thats stupid... I've always been able to get prescription drugs without a a prescription- I used to know a guy actually, you could get anything for the right price-..." Murdoc mumbled to himself

"What-"

"Nothing..."

But in then he understands a little more, and this time please explain what he can do to make you feel better about your dysphoria, cuz he will continue to do weird shit

Murdoc's no Shakespeare, he isn't great with words or with expressing shutters feeling, so he isn't the best at comforting but he tries his best

But something nice is, when Murdoc gets really high or reallyyyyyyy drunk he tends to be more touchy and more truthful, so he'll just randomly start praising S/O, even if its a the worst time- Like:

"...S/O"

"Yeah?"

"...dove- your the most beautiful, handsome, and stunning thing ever... no one can say otherwise- your perfect from head to toe...."

"Thats nice and all but hun this really ain't the time..."

*Murdoc looks at S/O very confused then looks at the toilet he just was hurling his guts up into*

But don't worry he doesn't always dish out his best compliments in the loo

At the end of the day Murdoc really love his boyfriend no matter what they look like.

"....I Love you..."

"Huh?"

"NOTHING!"

Noodle

Probably understands the most out of the 4

Noodle is the youngest meaning- she's 'more with the times' I fucking cringed so hard writing that for some reason-

She will try to distract you in any way to get her boyfriend to feel better, and stop thinking about it

Noodle doesn't exactly a big fan of talking that much if she doesn't find the conversation meaningful, but if needed she will spend as long as her S/O needs siting there tell him how much she loves him- and his body doesn't make him any less of a man

"Don't let anyone else tell you- who you are, ok?"

"I don't know about what you think, but what I do know is that your my lovely boyfriend!"

Noodle LOVES clothes shopping- scratch that just shopping in general

So she loves takeing her S/O to shops that can get that clothing that can make him feel more comfortable in his body

She does a bit of googleing but not like a deep dive as the guys

Noodle will round house kick anyone who dares to be transphobic to S/O

Along with Noodle screaming every curse word she knows at them in every language she know

No one fucks with Noodle's boyfriend- or I swear to satan when Noodles done with that knob- they won't even be able to look you in the eyes in fear of evoking Noodles rage once more

If Noods notices her boyfriend going through a bout of of depression due to his body based gender dysphoria(fucking hell- I'm tired of typing this out if I will now refur to that as BBGD) and she will decide to plan a date for her and S/O

She does this often- but the kind of date varies based on S/O's preference

When Nood complements S/O and his body she's very blunt, abd it's very obvious what she's doing- and knows that just doesn't give a shit

"Did I ever tell you how handsome you are?"

I can't think of any more quotes sorry

She makes sure everyone gets S/O pro-nouns right, incase that makes S/O more inscure she back handed murdoc once become he misgender S/O once- on accident and 2D told you she lecturerd him later when you left, whether it was an accident or not he never did it again and Mudz shutters at the memory-

If S/O has a melt down/panic attack due to BBGD if S/O is ok with it, Noodle will hold him and juat let him get it all out, till he's ready to talk, and if S/O just wants to sit there then thats fine to

She once teasingly called you baby boy, take that for what you will

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND!!!"

"Noodle- please calm down-!"

Russel

Ok... he's probably the second best at understanding your sercumstance

But that does not make it any less awkward

Russel isn't exactly a conventionalist but he tries to priase/give words of affection/affirmation to his S/O to make him feel better

I wanna say S/O is the first transgender person Rus has dated- but thats not saying much as Russel was never that big in the dating world, so his knowledge on dating in general is not that vast

So like the other guy's he does research-

And was very thorough, and comes out pretty successful in his endeavor

And before Rus decides to make and drastic decisions like a shopping spree or or almost buying T *cough* 2D *cough* Murdoc

He communicates with his S/O about what they want

And the root of his insecurities, as Rus wan't S/O to know that your body does not define you and just a bunch of really sappy love crap

"Honey, your body is not what makes you- you, it's whats on the inside, you get what I mean?"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, it's natural to feel this way, in this kind of situation."

"I would love no matter how you looked"

And then after talking about how S/O feels on this situation

Rus then will get really serious and ask S/O if he wan't to get medical procedures done and if he did Rus would him pay for the surgerys and crap

Or he may suggest seeking professional help with you BBGD

But if S/O says no- Rus is completely fine with that he just wants his S/O to know that he loves him

If S/O is going through a especially bad bout of dysphoria, Russel will make him their favorite comfort food

Like Rus isn't great with words and depending on where you are in the relationship physically affection can be a bit stiff with him- But one thing is he's a Great Fucking Cook

Ask for any comfort food it's yours

He's a big thing for acts of service- like Noodle oftenvdoes things to distract S/O from his unpleasant feelings

Russel's a big boi with major RBF so when he's around there is less likely someones gonna say/talk transphoic shit to/about S/O

And if they do... well I hope they like confrontation, becuase Rus will not yell at them but, his words will make just about anyone shit their pants

Like 2D, Rus complements S/O that could makes S/O feel better about his BBGD- but un-like 2D he's really good at being subtle about it.

"I made you your favorite, *insert fav food*."

#2d x reader #gorillaz x reader #stuart pot x reader #noodle x reader #russel hobbs x reader #russel x reader #murdoc x reader #ftm reader #murdoc niccals #2d gorillaz #noodle gorillaz #russel hobbs #stuart pot

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