I'm not denying the misogyny in earlier seasons but I also just rewatched s1-5 and I can't recall a woman ever turning Dean down and him turning around and calling them a bitch. Yeah he uses that word too often but tbh does he actually call women it that often?? I seem to recall him just using it generally, which makes a huge difference. Still not great but still big difference.

Like yeah I was annoyed and uncomf with how often he hit on women but they usually weren't super drawn out scenes and his actions towards women who weren't written just to be eye candy by ACTUAL misogynistic writers, he treated as equally as everyone else.

There's absolutely no denying his behavior s1 (arguably up until he goes to hell) teeters that line, but I feel like those early seasons have been remembered as way more gross and extreme than they actually are... But tbh what's new about how people view Dean's character and how's he conflated into things he's not

Hi! I saw your ask earlier but then got caught up with work things and since then i've also posted this, which analyzes the instances of dean using the word "bitch" throughout s1 and the contexts in which its used, which like you said is mostly exclusively in general phrases, most commonly his "catch phrase" son of a bitch.

As for the flirting, like you said a lot of his behavior varies depending on the writer. And in a show like this where there's been so many different writers it's something to take into consideration when analyzing a character's actions. I tend to focus on which behaviors are most consistent throughout. There are some things here or there that just are completely ooc with past consistent behaviors and are indicative of like, the writer's own misogyny creeping in rather than consistent with Dean's own behaviors and I think that's something important to take note of when doing character analyses and "studies." Like the one that always jumps out to me that is just SO inconsistent with Dean's character is in 4x13 After School Special where Dean says three of the high school cheerleaders are "legal." All of Dean's interactions with young people / teenagers both before this and after shows him in clearly a mentor role or respectful and understanding toward them. I'm think especially of his interactions toward Claire and Krissy. Or in the fanficiton episode. He doesn't treat any of those girls as anything other than what they are: kids. So that instance in 4x13 just stands out as massively ooc and it's an episode written by Dabb who, imo, does not get Dean + Kids at all. But anyways, that's a whole other thing lmao.

But yeah, I really feel like a lot of people could do with a rewatch. Many just have this hazy memory of Dean flirting and checking women out in the early seasons and have exaggerated those moments into a whole other character. I think those early seasons where definitely a product of their time. Early 2000s television was often very sexist and had its problems. And some of that is reflected on how Dean's character was written and portrayed. But it's not nearly as bad as many make it out to be. And from a meta / analysis perspective I view a lot of those moments as reflecting the struggle and conflict between Dean's overcompensating masculine persona and his real self he's trying to hide.

does pike have any major interests different from other star trek captains? from what I’ve seen so far they seem to be cooking (sisko), horses (picard), and fucking women (kirk) lol

Why Midori is such a breath of fresh air or how to actually write a Villain.

So the awaited essay, the winner of the FrenchGremlin polls of laziness finally has come! It took some time but it’s finally over. If your choice didn’t get chosen that’s okay! I’ll repost a new poll with old and newer options. Please reblog this one i put a lot of time in it, it's like, five pages long over a silly goose. Also sorry for the grammar i sucks and i'm not native. So let’s begin:

(also here is the link to the video format)

So first let’s make things clear, What IS a villain?

“A villain is a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.” That is why I do want to make a difference between a villain and an antagonist, an antagonist is a character who are a plot devices that creates obstruction to the protagonist. That means that a villain is forced to be an antagonist while an antagonist is not forced to be a villain. For example shin is an antagonist but not a villain, he is driven by selfish desires which are themselves fueled by fear anger and loss, he is the protagonist of his own story and is a sympathetic character despite it all, and Midori is just a bitch. Midori falls under multiple stereotypes of villains. Such as “the mastermind”, “evil incarnate” (lmao),”related to the protagonist” etc. Midori is evil, there is no denying in this, he is purely evil, and he doesn’t have a sad weepy backstory, he doesn’t feel empathy towards other, he is a despicable piece of shit who ruined so many lives. I won’t list everything but here is a list of his crimes, murder, assault, domestic abuse, grooming, verbal abuse, and torture, crimes against humanity lmao, stalking, violent crimes, and participation in a cult. And his worst crime is being a pussy bitch of course. So now that we have put the bases up let’s really begin.

Hollywood has a hate boner against villains and I hate them for that.

Recently Hollywood decided that pure evil bad guys is actually a bad thing, so now they decided to do stupid side story with them, to give them ”””depth””” since I guess how could we like those villains since they are bad. A great example of this is the Disney remakes which I loathe so much oh god I hate them. So first they did a maleficient it was okay honestly, then they did a freaking cruella movie where her mom gets killed by Dalmatians, that’s not a joke, in the peter and wendy movie that nobody saw they decided to have made the captain hook be a lost boy who was abandoned by the lost boys and peter, oh also they decided that PETER CUT HIS HANDS OFF AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HOOK WANTED TO SEE HIS FAMILY. They are going to do a freaking mufasa movie, in no time I can’t wait to have a Ursula movie where it’s discovered that ariel killed all of her family in cold blood or something’s. So you might say what’s the problem? I mean isn’t that supposed to make the story more interesting. No, no it doesn’t, because first they take all of the character personality traits and throw them in the bin, second they are supposed to be the vilain in a musical animated movies, I am not against complex villain, I love them, but by doing this, the original character doesn’t exist anymore. Just create original content with new interesting characters instead of doing stuff like this. Also it’s kind of funny than in all of those interpretation they take all the fun and sucks it out, what do I mean by fun, the gayness, Disney vilain are fun because they are camp, they are fabulous extravagant extra in all the ways possible, and that’s the reason we liked them. Not every character needs something super deep, like “my family was burned down at the stake and my dog was eaten by my ex”, sometimes we just like bad fun people, they are the story, and Hollywood hating them so bad just bothers me a lot. Also now the new thing is to not have a villain at all which can works in some narrative but not all of them, it gets boring after a while. In the past people were angry that villains are bland, but now I kind of miss it. While I will critique villains who have no purpose outside of being evil that’s dumb, like for example Voldemort is bland like white bread because his only motivation is being evil, but evil people do exist compared to what some Hollywood writers think, they should know. So that’s why I will put a difference between evil villains and villains whose only purpose is being evil; we loved Disney villains but they still had motivations, goals, reasons that to them a least were worth everything. World domination isn’t enough, why do you want world domination, what is the true reason deep in your heart, is it an inferiority complex, is it a savior complex fuelled by xenophobic beliefs.

That is how to write a pure evil villain, evil people exist all over the world, but I have never seen one who doesn’t have they own reasons to be so bad, it doesn’t excuse their actions nor really explains them. We do not want justifications we want explanations. If you are justifying evil behavior then do it, but don’t claim that it is a pure evil character. A pure evil character can be fun, can be interesting, he can be deep, it’s all about balancing all of their traits to truly make them greats. Which is why midori succeeds while current villains fail. Current stupid remake/spin off try to justify the behavior because they feel like this is what the audience wants, but it’s not what we need. So I will defend to the grave evil villains.

Creating an evil villain doesn’t make them boring guys.

Why the heck does big budget movies have either the blandest protagonist or the blandest villains sometimes both, like I said evil people do exist but comically evil character only works in satire not in a serious multiple millions of dollar movie. Example that boring ass avatar movie, the one with blue people, none of the characters are interesting the villain is one note. The lords of the rings also suffers from that, but I don’t care because the protagonist are so awesome that sauron being personality less doesn’t matter. Also sauron is more of a force of nature villains so it’s not the same. The recent kingsman movie has a bland one note villain, there is nothing entertaining, funny, about him he’s just evil, borrrrring. Every Disney remakes depiction of the characters are boring. I just feel bored out of my mind. Atla one of my favorite shows of all time has a main villain that’s kinda one note, Ozai, but he is actually intimidating guy, azula is the superior character, but I wouldn’t consider her a villain she is an antagonist though. I honestly don’t get why Hollywood thinks that just creating a character with no personality and whose only goals is to be evil is good.

So back to midori for a second, here is my question, when midori was on screen did you ever feel bored? Never right! Because despite midori being an evil character he has an actual personality, he’s fun, you want to punch him in the balls. Because midori has other personality traits than evil, midori is petty, childish, extremely intelligent, controlling, a natural manipulator, he is a trickster, he doesn’t seem to get some social norms, he is narcissistic, easily angry, and fears death etc See how I counted a lot of traits, traits that in other character would works, midori has positive traits, and I think that is the best thing nankidai could have ever done, midori has traits that a regular person could have. Which is why if I put midori in any settings his character would work.

Example, instead of a death game the cast is under the sea to discover the insane wildlife and supernatural stuff happening, what would midori do in this situation? Well he would very passionate about finding all of what’s happening, he’ll do anything to find out, even sometime sacrificing others, not only will he try to find what’s happening, but he is also going to try to find a way to make this discovery favour him in the end. Or let’s imagine it’s a vampire situation, where a vampire attacks  the city, midori would try to stop it, not because he cares, but to experiment on them to get their biology and finds the real secret of immortality since he fears death.

Here is my second advice, after creating your character try to imagine them in another completely different situation, like normal life, or a fantasy world, ask yourself the question what would they do in that environment? If you can find a real complete explanation of their actions then yes your character has multiples dimensions if not try thinking about it again. Some example of questions I do want to point out are some like “if my character had all the power in the world what would they do first or”, “if my character had only a day left to live what would they do”

Why is Current media incapable of creating good threats like bruhhhh.

Okay so first of all let’s talk about stakes in a story, let’s say you are watching a slasher movie, slowly the cast gets slimmed down and people die in horrible ways, that should set stakes right ? Well if the villain is an absolute buffoon who makes the stupidest actions and decisions in the world, you wouldn’t feel intimidated at all because despite what the filmmaker might try to say the plot armor will NEVER make a character intimidating. It’s just like a detective character who just seems to know everything without a thought, well you won’t really fear the character failing. Worse is the the final girl, who is for some reason always escaping the slasher guy by pure luck every time, she is shown as incompetent but still she survives, which make the villain seem completely incapable so now you feel nothing.

To avoid this filmmaker often use techniques such has unpredictability, I mean good I mean good ones, for example instead of immediately seeing whose going to survive because the black guys always dies first and the virgin white woman is the last survivor, change the status quo, make us think that this character is obviously safe while they actually aren’t at all. Or actually make them menacing by SHOWING to the audience how horrible dangerous they can be. Which is why SHOW DON’T TELL is so important, telling us how dangerous someone can be only to see them get beaten to death at the end of the movie makes us feel nothing.

Midori felt like a impossible person to beat, he is smart, had twenty plans in advance, even in situation where the cast felt like they might have a chance he was always armed, just like the gun he promised to use or the rocket punch. When they felt like they were finally advancing, he put obstacle in their ways, such as the collar game or the moment he put the collar on explode mode for  ranmaru. The entire point in the murder game was to make time pass, it took a long time for the cast top realize that this whole time they were losing precious time not realizing that the dummies were the real problem. The characters that made you feel the most hopeless were the dummies, if you won by killing midori they would die, but if you lost you might lose people you love (keiji or gin). It felt hopeless because they were no solutions in the end. That creates tension so that creates stakes. If we were told how dangerous unpredictable sou was then it wouldn’t hit the same, we are shown that he is that terrible. There is a scene ingame where bbg shin ai tells us that midori tortured and like to destroy people. That’s exposition so TELL, but do you why it works, because we are SHOWN before his behavior. Midori felt unbeatable, so the fact that we were shown his weakness such has his petty behavior, hatred of minors, and fear of death, for the first time it feels like there is a chance that we might survive this. And still after he isn’t shown has an incompetent buffoon, he is one, but the narrative doesn’t show us that he is.

What is also consider is good to make the audience feel actual stakes is to first really develop well the main characters, how can we feel worry for a character if we don’t know them, the audience need to feels emotional connection to the main cast to actually care. You can use things such has moments where there is nothing special happening just character talking getting to know them. Make us feel why we need to care about them possibly losing, instead of being indifferent. Or I don’t know maybe make an entire spin off game where we get to have the cast talk to each other and seeing dynamics between character that died early to get them a chance to shine and make their death even more tragic, or even make mini episodes of characters who only got a single chapter to show off their characteristic, to get us to know them better? But that’s just a silly idea of course, wink, and wink.

My favorite thing about Midori is that he is actually pathetic, like really pathetic, but weirdly realistic?

Midori is the most pathetic character in the cast, yes more than shin, shin is leagues less pathetic. No I’m not saying that midori is not intimidating or scary, I would piss myself if I saw him. He’s a scary guy. But if you look at him more closely you can see that he is a baby brat in a big boy suit.

So let’s start by something clear, Sou Hiyori clearly displays antisocial behavior, or in common terms he is a psychopath/sociopath, this illness is very badly seen in medias, I am not saying that people who lacks empathy like him are inherently bad, he is, a lot of people with antisocial behavior actually suffers a lot and have a difficult life. Sou real issues is not his antisocial behavior, it’s his narcissism and god complex. Sou feels the need to HAVE CONTROL over others, he like the feeling of being in power, he sees the rest of the world has beneath him, toys for his pleasure. He says that he “really like humans” because despite it all he seems to put himself in a different categories than regular people, they are beneath him. When he loses control his calm and cool behavior disappears and we see his true face, a grown man who has throws a tantrum like a baby. One of the best representation of this is midori views on the cast:

Midori hates kanna, like no jokes he has beef with her, a fourteen years old, actually he has beef with a lot of people in the cast. Midori views emotional people has weak, people who are loving optimistic as beneath him and useless. He preferred when sara was cruel and horrible, that’s what he loved about her, he liked seeing her scary emotionless side. But Kanna, kanna is everything he hates. A crybaby who not only puts the group in harmony, is a source of hope in general, is the reason he near got to have closure with shin (killing him), he views kanna as “not fun shin”. We have many proofs for this, if you type the word kanna kizuchi he says this: “Poor Kanna'd weep! I think a more worthless name would be better for someone like me” He mocks her, but also himself (I’lll come back on this later), he calls her worthless. Also in the electric charge minigame, when he can choose who to shocks he chooses two people in particular, kanna who he hates and hinako who ruined his fun by giving the cast a chance in saving ranmaru. But he does also says mean spirited stuff to other people, qtaro and gin. He also says some sarcastic comments about nao and joe, saying that it’s such a shame that they died so young. But you might say why kanna especially? Because he is a petty baby who is jealous of kanna, Yes jealous, of kanna, a fourteen years old. Because he feels like she stole his hubby wubby shin away from him…. God I hate him. And you know what that make him a pathetic idiot, after the scene where kanna beats his ass, he’s all mad and like “uhh I’m going to pout I wanted you to cry like a lot, now I’m gonna cry”. An that’s actually god, because it humanize him, he wants need thoughts, he isn’t one note, and that’s the most important!

Sou is a villain but before that he is a character, a fully developed character, and THAT’S WHAT MAKE HIM GREAT, Sou works because he works realistically, I mean if you forget the robot part, it’s easy to imagine a narcissist man child who needs to feel in power towards other, so his main prey are young vulnerable people.Which leads me to my next point:

Sou is a failure like really, and we aren’t sad for him.

Sou failed everything he worked on, he failed to get the paper from alice, he failed whith shin since he had to leave earlier than he thought he would leave, because of his mistake he lost his position in the death game, then he failed to kill gin or keiji, and then he died like an idiot losing his cool and acting like a toddler. And he knows it that why he is a bit self-hating (he should be). And yet none of us feel any sympathy towards him, why? Because sou is one of the most despicable guy in existence. He is a disgusting pervert, sadistic asshole, and abusive narcissistic cunt who thinks he is better than everyone. From the bottom of my heart I hate him sooooo much he is literally the character I hate the most in existence. He abused shin, ruined keiji’s life, traumatized the entire cast, literally assaulted sara like he physically assaulted her. He mocked nao and joe and kugie life as useless. He is an obsessive jerk AND I HATE HIM. And you know what…… It’s good. Like I actually feel a lot of emotions when I think about him, he fuels me with anger and disgust, and if your characters can make me feel that much rage then you did it, you created an actual perfect character. Hiyori is such a shit person that I think about him a lot, writers shouldn’t be scared to make a character such hittable assholes, example bojack horseman in bojack horseman is the vilest man on earth and I love it, because I genuinely hate him. Just like I genuinely love kanna, like really I really love her, I in the same time despise midori so bad. We hate him because he is horrible to good people that WE KNOW AND CARE ABOUT, not random npcs. There is a lot of… disgusting implications in his story with shin that I will not talk about it makes me really uncomfortable right now. SO HERE IS A VERY TACKY TRANSITION TO TALK ABOUT WHY I HATE JUNKO FROM DANGANRONPA.

Junko is boring, that’s it, she is boring, not funny not interesting, she is a fetish, she is the biggest Mary sue on earth, she is a gross character made to make fun of people with disabilities and queer people. Her only traits is being crazy, that’s it. I wouldn’t call midori that crazy actually, he’s methodical calculated, and precise. Crazyness is a term for people who aren’t in control of their actions and delusional about reality, sou is not crazy, he knows what he is doing, he is in full control, while characters like shin should actually be consider crazy, like shin is actually crazy but sou isn’t.

Conclusion:

Sou is a breath of fresh air, because nankidai had the balls to write an actually interesting deep and threatening character AND make him a villain. He didn’t fall into the trap of making him have a sad backstory or good motives, sou is just selfish, that’s all he is. He make him a fun entertaining guy who you absolutely hates, he made him threatening and at the same time a complete doofus. He made him humane and pathetic.

But the thing that make me love nankidai the most is this

The fact that he actually killed him that takes courage as a writer to just end a character THAT WAY, which is why midori will never come back alive he is forever dead. And that take a lot of talents as a writer to just take one of the most important characters and just get him drilled to death in the anus, like dammn nankidai you are a savage. That fact alone makes him one of the best characters in game, I hate him as a person, but has a character he is a masterpiece.

Though Kanna could solo him

this was posted as a video on my blog this is mainly so people who don't want to stay there reading a 24 minute video of my stuttering can have a bit of quiet

Ask Etiquette

HELLO sorry for the intimidating post lmao, I just need something to toss up on the masterpost because I feel bad deleting asks and then people will never really have an idea of why I never answered them

I get a ton of asks (usually anywhere from 10 - 20 a day!) and I'm not able to get to them all! I try to answer as many as possible but I'm still just one guy. So with that in mind, there are some sorts of asks I will simply not answer, and some 'requests' I have for people who send them in;

Please keep your asks short PLEASE try not to send me essays if you want a response; I still love reading them! But if you send me walls of text/analysis you are asking me to write a lot in response, which I'd rather spend on actually writing or designing cats. (On that note if you send a bunch of questions at once, the likelihood I respond goes down.)

Do not send me personal questions Listen... I'm a stranger on the internet. I'm overjoyed to see when my art connects with people and helps you realize things! But don't ask me sensitive questions like how to move out of your abusive parents' house!! PLEASE learn internet safety and get less comfortable with volunteering that kind of information to people you don't know!

Do not ask me personal questions you do not need to know what i study or where i work. get less comfortable asking these sorts of questions to queer people on the internet, especially when they talk openly about having previously been abused or stalked. (not that a person should even need to be as open about that as i am)

If I don't have a good response I won't answer Especially for suggestions I don't vibe with. I try to only say "No" if I have a particularly interesting "No" to talk about, if that makes sense! If I had to write a full explanation for every veto or idea I don't vibe with, this blog would be 90% what isn't in BB.

No AUs within the AU. "What if Hawkfrost survived his impalement? What if Firestar never joined? What if Tigerstar was never born?" Listen, buddy, you're creating an exponential distraction for possible ways the story could have gone and I'm not looking to write several essays for the literal hundreds of alternative ways Clan history could have been written. It takes you 5 words to ask "What if X never died" but it takes me paragraphs to answer. (This isn't about suggestions btw, I very specifically mean ppl asking hypotheticals for fun.)

Don't be rude. I feel like this should go without saying but please mind the parasocial gap. Especially if you're on anon, I don't know you, your backstory, or your cadence.

And, lastly, CLANMEW ASKS!!

I make a hard effort to get to everyone!! Those are published on Clanmew Day (WHICH IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE THE 30TH OF EVERY MONTH SO THAT IT'S LESS CONFUSING) but PLEASE understand I get a ton of them.

As I write this I have more than 26 tabs open of unanswered Clanmew asks, a lot more in my inbox, and 9 already in the queue. So that you understand the sheer volume of asks I have there.

If I didn't get to you that month, chances are that I'll get to you on the next, but please understand why I ask for folks to not re-send asks

So here's Clanmew-specific requests;

PLEASE just try a translation on your own first! Don't just send me raw lists of OCs to translate, give it a go first using the Lexicon, just so I can see you tried. I will happily and gladly make more specific words for you when I see you try!

When you send OCs you've translated, ask me for a new word at the end if you didn't already in your list. Just in case I can't think of a witty comment or a word suggestion, you will help me a lot

Please try to format with lists like this one Folks will send me double or triple-indented lists and it will take up my entire screen when they've only sent like, 5 names. Remember that posts you send to me go on people's dashes, be considerate please You can open a list like this by starting a new paragraph, typing -, and then an immediate space. Hold Shift + Enter to indent without adding another bullet.

If you could put "Clanmew" somewhere in your ask, like even if you open up with "Clanmew: Here is my question blah blah," it would help immensely I physically can't get to every ask I receive on Clanmew Day, so if you have "Clanmew" in your ask somewhere, it makes it a lot easier for me to find it when I can finally answer! I really wish Tumblr had ways to sort asks, but currently, I've just gotta make due with Cntrl + F.

I don’t understand why people care enough to negatively comment on work because they don’t like a character…

I don’t like some characters that my friends reblog and I just scroll past like a normal person, I’m not going to dictate or judge what people like and I can’t stand the way people say “oh I block people who like *insert character they dislike*” like it’s so petty and strange… I like all your work I think you’re a great writer do I ship all the same people as you? Nope but does it bother me? Not at all. There is no letting people have fun in this fandom I swear to god!

i find it very odd. it's especially easy to avoid on tumblr, so i don't understand people's reactions (also, sorry, i accidentally wrote a whole essay here)

i'm not sure if it's because so many people in the ST fandom are newer to fandom in general, or it's just how things are now (i'm afraid it's this one), but i find that a surprising amount of people see any interest in a character as like... symbolic of someone's personal morals and values. and this is especially rampant among steddie shippers which is unfortunate. i block a ton of people on twitter because they say "hellcheer dni" and then i see passive aggressive messages on discord about how i blocked them. is this because people make the media they consume their whole ID? or people trying to play activist? (i've said it before on here but my activism isn't an online activity for me, it's my work and it's my personal life, and i'm intentional about separating these. i don't share much about my life on here on purpose).

billy anti's are actually scary at times. i personally don't see the logic of harassing real people in the name of fictional characters (and this is a generalization, but most of the time it's white shippers pulling that shit which just feels performative at best). this isn't billy-related, but joseph quinn fans bullied a jquinn fan account (run by a woc) off of twitter because she wasn't retweeting social justice-related posts. lmao. people really see sj rt's as the be-all and end-all of Being a Good Person. like people have lives outside of fandom and they can't see that.

LONG STORY SHORT, i know that posting my hellcheer and metalsandwich fic is going to make some people hate me or whatever, but i'm really tired of feeling like i can only openly like and enjoy steddie in order to have value here. if people are going to stop reading what i write, or blacklist me or whatever, i'll make my peace with that. and let's be real, who's really the one losing out in that scenario? because it's not me.

Ok u mentioned this a while ago but i scrolled thru the wlw/white loving white (lmao) tag and god yeah. the way simone was immediately dismissed was unsurprising but still disappointing. like yeah she’ll never know what happened in the forest blah blah but people were shitting on her from episode one. and i don’t find van interesting in the least so it extra bothered me that simone got tossed aside for this nothing ass woman like at least the fans that ship her with shauna are going for something fun lmao. also yes tai was handled so badly but then again i got bored of s2 in general so

Oh ho ho, anon, you don't want to get me started on this, haha, I feel like I could write essays about the nosedive in quality with Yellowjackets s2, but Taissa's arc is one I think I could write a book on.

I am baffled by how the show has handled both Simone and Sammy too, especially because I think Simone has one of the most compelling and rich positions on the show. She's not like Jeff or even Kevyn, who operate in this space of their own arrested development as a result of their tangential trauma from the crash. She's a complete outsider, a woman who was allowed to grow up, to come of age the way she should have, but she's also the only one who's married and had a child with someone who slips out of their own mind.

Taissa is not Shauna, her response to the trauma she experienced has manifested in her uniquely, and to argue that the only person who can understand or speak to the monstrosity of that is the equivalent of your highschool girlfriend is - sorry - snooze! Boring! You have Simone right there, a woman who chose Taissa in the aftermath of that reality, who already protects her and performs at her side in a public life, to explore the depths of that choice and that love when she can never really understand it, to know that this woman beside you is the other mother of your child but also shares a body with something that might be dangerous to that child offers so much narrative potential.

Simone is caught between supporting and caring for the woman that she loves and protecting the child she shares with her, while navigating a trauma she can't ever fully understand and a life that's increasingly in the public eye because of that woman, and the writers were just like ? Nah, actually? Let's ignore all that and go track down your highschool girlfriend who runs a video store for some reason? I just - -

What it would be like dating kuroo :D

•kuroo’s love language is physical touch so he’d def be all over you all day

“y/n can we cuddle pleaseeee?” Kuroo begs at your feet

“Sorry baby but I really need to get this essay done. Maybe after we can cuddle and watch a movie.” kuroo excepts defeat

•Going to many of his volleyball games

•because of this his whole team would treat you like their little sibling and they’d all cheer when you walk into their practice

•I think you’d help out as a manager sometimes

• kuroo will always support you with your interests too

• he would act like a proud mother whenever he sees you doing what you love

• being besties with kenma

•I love kenma so now you do too :)

•you kenma and kuroo will hang out sometimes and you and kenma would just pick on kuroo LMAO

“yeah he sleeps so weird! I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night once, and his butt was in the air!” You said, laughing

“Oh my god, kuroo!” Kenma laughs with you. Next to you, though, kuroo is pouting

“come on, baby you know me and kenma are just playing with you.” You assure him. he looks at you with puppy dog eyes

“are you sure y/n?” “yes! I love you, you know that. We just like picking on you from time to time!” Kuroo pouts again

•he’s very very very very tall so when you both cuddle at night he would prolly hold you in his arms with you facing him

•or he’d do the thing where your turned away from him and he’s facing your back while he holds your waist

•also laying on his chest

•or him laying go on your chest

•I actually see him as cooking for you believe it or not

•he’ll wanna impress you so he’ll cook a big extravagant meal

•swinging your hands when you hold hands

•I know this is random, but gives amazing head 👌 he just wants your neighbors to know his name

10/10 I do recommend

thank you all for reading! This was fun to write :)

I’m so genuinely intrigued and curious abt that post you made abt reaching out to the authors when you find a paper you want to read bc.. how are you finding these papers in the first place?? Do they show up on your tiktok fyp?? Do you just search up whatever topic you wanna read about on google scholar? I think that that’s really cool that you do that and I also would like to read about research that like actually interests me and not just papers assigned in class but I dunno where I would start looking for them. Sorry this ask is probably so random but do you have any tips?? lmao 😭

WHAT a fun question!!! of course i have tips!!!

first of all....free urself from the tiktok fyp i am begging u <3 like. ok i am sure there are people on there who are sharing academic articles and such but....more often with tiktok at least in my experience u just end up getting stuck in an endless scroll rather than actually following up on any interesting reading/research suggestions. also i think it is just like. a valuable and enriching skill to be able to think of things on ur own that u want to learn about and then go and find resources urself! like. approach tiktok w caution perhaps it could be helpful for some but i worry a bit that we are all becoming a little too reliant on algorithms to feed us Content, y'know?

anyway! as for how i find papers 2 read that interest me! most often it is a matter of finding something that sparks my interest + then going down a rabbit hole. and there are soooooo many ways to do this!! the internet is an amazing resource!!!! here is a list of some ways that i find interesting articles:

tumblr <3 lol i follow various blogs that post interesting stuff abt theory + academia every so often, and if i see a quote that interests me i'll go and try to find the article it came from! (you could also use tiktok this way if you've found some good people to follow! my main hesitation w tiktok is just that. it's an endless scroll + an algorithm which are both 2 things that i find distracting, and why i prefer tumblr)

substack - same kinda deal as tumblr; i subscribe to bloggers who write about topics that interest me and if they cite research in their posts i'll go try to find that research to read it myself

news articles/blog posts/essays that i come across online - again, if there's some interesting research cited, i'll go and try to find it

search by writer - if you keep hearing about an academic or someone suggests "oh read some so-and-so," go and look up so-and-so and see what they've written + what u can find online for free! most really famous/influential academics will have some free pdfs of their more influential work floating around online, and for smaller/niche academics--email them!

along the same lines - if u find an article or essay or speech by an academic and u like it, go find their biography page on the website of whatever school they teach at! schools will usually list professors' work, or at least a few examples, and you can find more stuff to read from that same person whose article you enjoyed. this is especially helpful if ur researching something kinda niche

wikipedia! people shit on wikipedia all the time as if it's not a "real source" but that's simply false! wikipedia is a great jumping-off point if you're interested in a broad topic but don't know where to start. go scroll through the wikipedia article about said topic and see what's cited there to get an idea of where you might be able to find some interesting articles/research to narrow ur focus!

look through the bibliography/citations on other research! if ur reading a book or article on an interesting topic + want to learn more, actually take a minute to scan through the citations and see if any titles catch ur eye!

ask people for recommendations! if u have an old/current professor or a friend or something who u know is interested in the same topic as u, ask if they have any reading recommendations!

if ur a university student--take advantage of that shit!!! look thru the papers on ur syllabus and scan the citations of the most interesting ones for further reading or go look up the writers u like best from the course to find more stuff they've written! look at the class listings for classes u aren't taking and if ur interested, ask those professors if they'd be willing to share their reading lists with you! keep an eye out for free lectures or events on new topics that interest you as a jumping-off point for finding new things to learn about! ask ur friends in other majors what they're learning about and go look it up if it interests you!

go to the library and look through the nonfiction section for topics ur interested in; check out books with cool titles! if they're boring, u can just return them

go to thrift stores or used bookstores and do the same thing! look for nonfiction books with interesting titles! i loooooooooove love love love looking through gender studies sections of bookstores for nonfiction--and then if i find a book i like, guess what that book's gonna cite?? more articles + books!!!!!! there is so much research + knowledge in the world just waiting to be shared!!!!

anyway. these are just some ways that i have found interesting new things to learn about! it sounds like u are currently a student--and like, trust me, i get that when ur constantly being assigned readings for classes it can just become a drag. but college is an AMAZING resource; i still go back and reference old notes from school to find research that i'm interested in, and some of my classes introduced me to articles that i still return to + cite today. research can be so so so fun + rewarding when ur just doing it for the joy of learning; the key really is to treat it like a little spiderweb. maybe most of ur assignments are boring, but this one article for class was really interesting and u actually find urself wanting to learn more--look at the research that article cited! google the names of the writers to see what else they've written! ask ur prof if they have any more suggestions similar to that article! the possibilities are endless!!

+ if ur a student, ur institution probably has access to a whole bunch of research databases where u can find articles + books for free, which is amaaaaaaaazing take advantage of that shit. but i am not currently a student, so my process for finding articles usually goes:

google + see if a free pdf magically pops up (happens more often than you'd think honestly)

failing that -- if it's a book, i check the online collection at my library + also on openlibrary and project gutenberg and zlibrary; for articles i usually check library genesis (sometimes i look for books here too) or sci-hub (usually works best if you search by doi)

failing that -- if it's an article, i go hunt down the email address of whoever wrote it and email them to ask for access! for books, if you really really want to read it you can usually put in a request at your local library for them to get it, but sometimes i do just have to give up if i can't find a book for free online anywhere :(

hopefully some of this was helpful !! and if ur looking for nonfiction book recs i have a post here with some stuff i've read over the past year or two and i also have a post here with like...some suggestions for intro gender studies/queer theory reading (mostly articles)!

Fandom asks 9, 13, and 19!

hey Ace, thanks for coming to hang out! 🖤

9. Best new fandom discovery of the year

best fandom discovery of the year for me was def your aromantic Carry On content. no, i'm not just saying that. i don't know how to explain, but there was something really good for me about getting to read aspec headcanons and realising, hey, i can just... do that, if i want to. i'm living in a happy little world of my own with my demiro Simon hc now and, fuck, is it ever nice here.

13. Favourite villain of the year (oh no this is about to be so long) (had to switch to my gdocu to type all this) (i'm so sorry)

Oh God, lmao.

So... It’s the Mage. BUT LISTEN, I want to defend myself here ‘cause it’s not like I read Carry On and was like, “oh man I love how commendable this guy’s actions are”, like no.

My whole thing with Davy is that I like what an absurd shitbag he is. I mean, at the end of the night, he is such a deplorable motherfucker. (And okay, sure, maybe I’m a little notorious for getting puppy-eyed over an atrocious fictional bastard or two.) (I acknowledge and accept my flaws.) I don’t think he’s a good person. But I think he’s interesting, and part of the reason I ended up getting so attached to him is because I got tired of the way he was portrayed in fanfiction like he was one top hat away from tying damsels to railroad tracks. I kept expecting Dudley Do-Right to make a cameo.

I got such a chip on my shoulder about it that I started really thinking about him as a character, y’kno? And I thought about him so much, and wrote so many personal meta essays about him, and created this whole character analysis of the way he speaks, the way he thinks—every time he’d appear in a fanfic in a way I didn’t like, I’d pause from reading to write a breakdown for myself of why I felt the portrayal didn’t align with what I expected of him—and when you spend that much time with a character, y’kno, it is hard not to get a bit attached. You start to care, and have fun. I think he’s fun. In my own fanfics, I’m very confident in my portrayal of the Mage when he’s the main antagonist per canon, but I’m also not afraid of pulling out his stitches and making him into a better character for Simon’s sake because of the perspective I have of him. It’s actually really neat to explore, creatively speaking.

I get why people don’t like to think about him very hard. I don’t blame them. He hardly deserves it. And there are plenty of characters in the series that other people really like (Fiona Pitch, for example) that I don’t care for and so don’t think about much, unless I have to for a scene. But I think it’s a shame, too, ‘cause in my weirdo opinion, he's genuinely an interesting character, he’s a great villain.

When we think of nuanced characters, we usually think of morally grey ones. Of good people on the wrong side of things, or no side of things, who make selfish choices and aren't always trustworthy and don't pretend to be otherwise, but what happens when you have a character like Davy who believes in goodness, who views himself as the absolute good, but has fundamentally failed at every opportunity? Davy’s character is plagued by his sheer capacity for making bad decisions. He’s an extremist, and he’s capable of a staggering amount of cruelty. Davy Cadwallader worships at an altar of false gods and logical fallacy.

In the tags of another post, a long while ago now, I once talked about Davy and how his mind functions on a trolley-problem-system. His moral compass, his political pursuits, they are a set of tracks, and he is at a lever: if he pulls the lever to the left, he sacrifices only a few people. If he pulls the lever to the right, he sacrifices thousands. Against all odds, Davy intrinsically values the path of least resistance: to save more people than he hurts, except the problem is that he hurts readily, there is no middle ground for him, there are no other options, he believes it is necessary and doesn’t care who those “few” people are. He doesn’t care if they are his friends. He doesn’t care if they are innocent bystanders. He doesn’t care if it is his child. Afterall, it’s all for the greater good, right? 

This is how he views the entire world, he has so much bitterness in him, so much resentment, he fuels every choice, action, decision, thought by this logic, and because of that, he feels absolved of the wrongness. 

I’ve had a post in my drafts for the last few weeks that sums it up pretty good: “the thing i love about the mage and what makes him a really great villain to me is the way he has this looney tunes logic about him, you kinda have to look at him like he's animated out of nothing but smear frames. the mage views himself as ultimately and fundamentally righteous. and it's not even that he's ignorant to his own moral failures, he feels absolved of them, he truly believes everything he does is for some greater good. he's claude frollo with a robin hood complex. i fucking love his final scenes bc it's like watching a candle that's been burning for too long start to drown in its own wax.”

And n e way, yeah, that’s the story of how Davy Cadwallader is my favourite villain of the year, fuck the Mage, here’s his theme song:

19. Fandom that made an unexpected comeback

Merlin, for sure. i've been in the Merlin fandom for years, but i go through phases with it, yk?

[questions are here, ask me things!]

its still very early on so im sorry if im misconstruing some things abt them but i loove all the tidbits of whatever fucked up thing tristan and kas have going on <3 yes they hate each others guts yes they're kissing. yes he fantasizes about killing him regularly and yes he's the only person he considers an equal why do you ask :) they run a cult together bc fun couple activities during the apocalypse amiright. one of them is actively becoming zombie jesus and he also glows really cool!!! even as separate entities they seem so interesting, like the one who kills ppl that slightly inconvenience him is more redeemable than the other?? and the other one thinks he's god!!!! can you tell i lov stories that deal with godhood and divinity, fake or otherwise!! just dhjfhfd your mind, you know? i am compelled by all things you create and eagerly await seeing kas die a second (third?) time. maybe his hair will turn black this time lmao. much love!!! (don't be shy drop the goddess lore <3) p.s. what are your pronouns 😭

aaaaah thank you so much for the ask i love this so much lmao, very good summary of kas and tristan tbh. now i really want to see kas in other hair colors!!! poor kassie used up all the bleach in the city and now has to dye his hair blue or something lmao

also if i start talking about the goddess lore i will write a really long essay that contradicts itself a million times lmao but i will talk about it more eventually it ties into the whole kas thinks he's becoming a god thing (kas actually has very valid reasons for believing this like. a big part of it is just him thinking he's the most important person on earth in general. but he does have actual genuine arguments (tristan of course doesn't believe him regardless)) it's a lot

re: pronouns you can use he/him but it doesn't matter that much to me lmao

20 Questions for Writers

Oh This looks fun.. ty for the tag @wordspin-shares !!

How many works do you have on AO3? As of right now, 19 !

What is your total AO3 word count? Well.. you see.. 501,371. ..Huh I the chap I just posted cracked the 500k count ! Congrats to me ig !

What fandoms do you write for? The Hunger Games ! I have some Star Wars fics on my AO3 from years ago, but 96.2% of those words are THG so. hjvbdhvhbddfbh

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sighs really heavily. So I pretty much only write OC stuff for THG, which means that the 3.8% of Star Wars fics are taking 3/5 spots on the top 5 kudos ranking. F in the chat. So starting at the most, we've got: Lessons Unlearned (SW), Is That Really Me? (SW), True Vengeance (THG), Widow's Bite (THG), and Take My Hand (SW). None of those SW fics are over 2k while True Vengeance is probably going to hit 300k by the time it's over... Really interesting to see the statistics of what it looks like to write in a larger fandom vs a smaller fandom tbh :0

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Absolutely !! I love reading what people think about my writing. It's neat to see what sticks out to them and how they feel about my characters or plots or everything really ! :D It makes my day to see them <3 Also I love chatting about my writing and the thought processes behind it, so if you every get an essay in response to a comment u left on my fic, uh.. sorrie... bdjfvbhdb

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hm.. Maybe Reparation Clause or True Vengeance? Granted, I haven't written the ending of TrV yet but given that I've killed off all of Ven's arena friends uhh.. yeah. The Bridges We Burn could also possibly fall under this category... Turns out there is no shortage of angst when you write for the child death pageant fandom jdvvbhdf

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Now that's a harder question, rip. I do generally try to end my Victor Exchange fics on happier notes (Destined to Fall, Desiderium, The Bridges We Burn). I think Widow's Bite and No Sleep for the Wicked also end on more positive notes..? I wouldn't exactly call it Happy though.. (maybe some of my Star Wars fics would qualify, but I do not feel like talking about them LMAO)

Do you get hate on your fic? No, I'm perfect (insert sunglasses emoji here) /j I don't think I've ever gotten straight-up hate comments on my fics before though. I've gotten some criticisms (one person wasn't happy about the fact that the Games continue after the events of True Vengeance, according to the other fics on my profile hvfhvbf), but nothing that's ever put me down about my writing. ...Do affectionate death threats count as hate? (my friends are Goofy bhjdfbvhd)

Do you write smut? If I do, you'll never know BHVF. Ok for real though, it's not really my jam as a writer. Worth trying probably to step out of my comfort zone, but definitely not something I'd ever post. Sorry guys.

Do you write crossovers? Nah.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Afaik, no. Not in terms of straight-up ripping the text. I think I've had some ideas borrowed, but like. Who give a fuck LOL. As my one friend likes to say often, there are no new ideas in THG (in terms of things like arenas, quell twists, tribute concepts). What makes something unique is having different authors writing and interpreting said concepts !

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I've thought about translating one of mine into French myself as a way of practice.. Never got around to it though, alas.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Ooh, so Technically, no... BUT. I do create tribute characters for SYOT (Submit Your Own Tribute) fics, which is more of a collaboration than co-writing. I also have three fics I've written for the Victor Exchange event in the SYOT Verses discord server where the pov victor characters were created by another author and I wrote their stories (and I received a fic for the victor character I created!) So again, not Reeeally co-writing, but. Collaboration !!! Uhh I was really into Barriss/Ahsoka in high school. FinnRey starwar is also<3

What's your all-time favorite ship? Scratches head uhhhhh.. all time favorite..? If my ocs count, I will say Maritrix (Venatrix and Mariposa) and also Oberon and Dagmara. Otherwise, uhhhhh..... I will be real, it has been a Long time since I've cared about any specific ships to the level where I need to read or write fanfiction about them LOL. I was really into Barriss/Ahsoka back in high school. Also FinnRey starwar<3

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths? Ooh I love writing dialogue, and also fight scenes!! Description is fun too c: But yeah, I have been called the fight scene queen by a friend once so I think that counts as a strength LOL.

What are your writing weaknesses? I have no weaknesses I'm perfect (sunglasses emoji). /J bvhjfvfbh.. I'm Slow. I get hung up sometimes on structure/style things while writing and it makes the process take a bit longer. I think also sometimes I tend to meander a bit... I could use a lesson in conciseness jvhhbfv.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? It seems like good practice !! Like I said, I had wanted to translate one of my fics into French as practice.. Not sure if that's what this question is asking, or more of like. A bilingual character or something..? Idk ! I think if it's something that you want to get better at, it would also be wise to get concrit from a native speaker on how natural it sounds.

First fandom you wrote for? Warriorcats ! :3c

Favorite fic you've ever written? I /gen enjoy most of my writing.. I know not all people do and I'm not trying to brag or anything, I just. I pander to myself LMAO. But my Favorite TM has gotta be True Vengeance ;-; It's the longest thing I've ever written (and probably will be for a while), and I've spent every day for the past ~3 years thinking about it, so. That is telling hbvdhbf.

Tagging: @illegalcryptid @emeraldflower25 @rivalhughs @ladyqueerfoot @justafunctionalmess @conschintz and general tag for anyone who wants to answer !!

I don't know if this is imposing or whatever, but I really like your blog. You have really interesting takes and I love your posts about Armand and you seem like a really fun and interesting person! Burnout can be tough, and ofc you are under no obligation to stay in a space that exhausts you, but if you feel like you have no impact on the fandom and the VC community, I promise that's not true

aww no that's not imposing, it's a very sweet thing to say and i appreciate so much!! 🖤

i do my best to be bubbly and enthusiastic on main most of the time lol i don't always succeed obviously. but also i think it's okay to be human since imo the human element gets lost so easily on social media.

for example: i've been told that i can come off as very self-assured/confident and that can make people think i don't feel much of anything, which is just not true!

and while i'm being vulnerable here, this past year on tumblr has been my first experience being active in a fandom. i never really saw myself as an "online person" except in the most superficial sense (i.e., instagram). it was just intimidating and not something that peculiarly appealed to me, so my first 15 years as a VC fan was just me vibing alone with my books. and then when i did decide to dip my toes into fandom at some point during a covid lockdown, i had so much to say!

i had armand/daniel meta out the ass, i was so fucking intent on legitimatizing lestat/armand as a ship since it was just Not A Thing lmao, and i needed people to cry with me about the beauty of armand and louis's arch from iwtv to bc. also just gradually transitioning my blog into a more adult space where people might feel more comfortable and encouraged to explore the kinkier elements of tvc in a way that's lighthearted and not have everything be so serious all the time! range is important and i hope i have that here.

in essence, i feel like i've dumped over a decade and a half's worth of vampire hyperfixation thoughts onto you guys in year's time and now i don't know what to do with myself in fandom. 😂 but i've really enjoyed my time here overall and i would be sad to leave after only a year.

it was one of the hardest years of my life personally for a lot of reasons, and having this escape and making these friendships on and off tumblr was a lifeline when i didn't have any others. i can't always be available to everyone or answer every ask (my inbox is currently in the hundreds and i'm mortified) but i try as much as i'm able to! and maybe it's normal, to have these cycles of ups and downs in a fandom? i don't know, but i'm learning.

sorry for turning this into my diary. i don't feel bad about humanizing myself because again, on social media i think people can stand to be reminded that's there's real human beings behind the screens, but i do feel a *little* funny about writing a mini essay haha (it's okay, i'll write something horny for you guys as soon as i have the energy, i have an excellent L/L/A prompt i want to tackle).

Hi nat, I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I’ve just been struggling sm lately bc I feel so disconnected to Taylor iykwim? Like she just seems unrecognizable and excuse the parasocialness but like idk I think I just need to separate from the fandom because I just feel she’s so different in the past year and it makes me so sad. Everything just seems somewhat staged and inauthentic. I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point. But that beautiful, genuine, and talented person that i thought she was is not there anymore. I really saw myself in her at some point and really believed she was a gift to this world with the happiness she brought to people and how she was unapologetically herself, from the intimate fan interactions and public vulnerability and need for privacy she showed compared to other celebrities. Especially the fact that she’s been trying so fiercely to rewrite the history of the past 7 years of her life and is doing a complete 180 on the life she said she wanted is so disheartening to watch as a long time fan. I really thought that rep - evermore Taylor was really her most authentic self but idek anymore. The person she is now is like an entirely different persona and it makes me really sad. I hope she can find herself again for her own sake but i think this is just who she is and who am I to judge that lmao? At the end of the day no person with that amount of money or fame would be relatable. Look I always have to remind myself I don’t know her obviously but I thought I had gotten a pretty good sense from following her the last 12 years. Idk honestly I’m just kinda ranting here but was wondering if anyone else felt like this lately. A lot of my irls and friends have been saying they feel the same disconnect.

Xx anon ❤️

no shade queen and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad but herein lies the problem: “I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point.” That’s not a fair thing to put on Taylor. She’s literally just some lady lmfao and she’s an extremely talented musician, and she’s hot, and she’s very funny, and she’s a good writer even when it comes to prose, and she’s hardworking as fuck, and she’s apparently quite kind, and she also apparently makes nice food, and she has cute handwriting. That’s all we really know about her tbh. She can’t be our fave person or our lifesaver because like we don’t know her?? It’s not fair to put that on her.

on a very minor scale when I did professional activism/politics and on an even more minor scale on this blog when it was very big like sometimes I felt like I had this responsibility to people to like idk be something for them. And I can’t lol because I’m just a girl who likes to make jokes and write and teach history and drink and recently to go rowing lol. It’s not fair to expect me to be anything other than an interesting essay (in the activism days) or a funny joke (in the blogging days). I can’t be responsible for other shit. Taylor has that on the HUGEST scale and I can imagine how stressful that is and it’s not yk fair. I personally think she’ll get bored of being this public in a bit but she’s having fun rn. She’s got a cute boyfriend and her career is doing stellar and she’s got the I cut down on alcohol glow and shit like let the lady live for a bit. She doesn’t owe us shit. And I’m not convinced she’s a different person, I think she’s just not caring if people see she’s yk who she is - not an angel, not a hermit artiste, just a girl who’s trying to vibe.

I also think for me personally I’ve enjoyed a lot of her recent music so that adds to it. I love Midnights and I love the 1989 Vault and idk I am happy to let her vibe like she doesn’t owe us shit. Far be it from me to tell you to buy her $20 teacups or whatever to sponsor her trips to KC - I don’t lol - but I think it’s deeply unfair to expect her to be your lifeline or whatever like that’s genuinely not on her.

All this said, if you’re not vibing with music or the brand rn that’s okay. Harry Potter was HUGELY important to me in my preteens and into my teens and then as it happened, it turned out that JKR was a really bad person and I reread the books genuinely for science and they weren’t that great like there was a lot there I found actively not okay so aside from how I wouldn’t publicly be a millennial Potterhead anyway probably because I’m not yk that bloody weird I actively disengaged and I asked family and friends to stop buying me Robert Galbraith books and I just like… disengaged. Never watched the cursed child, haven’t watched any of the fantastic beast movies after the first one, never bought any merch again even when it’s a bit cute, just totally cut myself off. That’s MY choice. It’s not JK’s. JK is out there vibing like as she should but I don’t have to support her and she doesn’t owe me shit lol so like yes our moral compasses unfortunately do not align and that’s just the reality so I can be all dramatic or I can just stop buying her shit lol and I’ve chosen to do the latter and I don’t have any bad feelings towards her. We just don’t agree on morals. If you don’t agree with Taylor on morals or even lifestyle that’s also fine but again that’s a you problem not a Taylor problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

hope this made sense and helped although it was rambley.

I love offgun in this new show, the dynamic is great and it's cartoony but in just the right way *coughmiddlemanslovecough* but what has been your favorite and least favorite elements so far and do you think it will get deeper or stay sweet and candy-coated? (I'm down bad for either!)

yessssss, the cartoonish aspect is so fun! ngl I haven't watched middleman's love when they decided to replace mii2 but apart from that I always feel like no other country can do silly like thai dramas lol. like idk they just can push the boundaries of comedy while still making their show good in a way most other tv shows I've seen can't!

anyways, my favorite elements are the chemistry, of course, which is just so... offgun. even though I usually prefer offgun in shows where they're more upset (lmao I love my men crying leave me alone), it's really nice to see them in this kind of show & their natural chemistry is so perfect you can tell they barely have to put any effort for it to look amazing. apart from that, I truly love ten & prem as characters SO FUCKING MUCH. I'll try to keep it short bc I legit could write a whole essay about them but I truly love how they're both genuinely good people who should be bland & boring, but instead are not AT ALL. also, despite the cartoonish-ness of the show, they genuinely feel like real people. we have ten who is both a hot, rich, smart & perfect love interest (which are usually boring ngl) but is also very dramatic & silly & has that nerdy loser quality to him (and it's not just the glasses I promise) which is such a paradoxical combo yet works SO SO well??? as for prem, I wasn't as sold to him before the show aired but I FUCKING LOVE HIM??? he's again, kind of the cliche main character good guy that the viewer is meant to see themselves reflected in, but they made him sassy and feisty, and proud but also insecure and I just... root for him so hard ngl. these two are such strong characters they're really carrying the show, but another element I love is the acting bc I didn't think gun could slay a comedic role this well & I'm sorry I ever doubted him! as for off, it's incredible to see that he once again managed to make one of his characters absolutely unrecognizable from his others, idk if anyone else noticed or if I'm just that one completely unhinged off stan but he kinda changed his way of speaking for this role??? he speaks way softer & more proper which is a very drastic change from who off is usually lol. also another element I love are the locations & especially prem's house/restaurant... it looks so cozy & beautiful 🥺

the element I don't like is gmmtv not putting up the uncut version of the episodes on their channel. the cut version can stay on tv who fucking cares but them not putting out the uncut version for inter fans is ACTIVELY hurting the show. first of all, the cut scenes should NEVER have been cut in the first place, they are not superfluous at all & develop the relationships (especially firedynamite's one) further. second of all, the cutting of the scenes just make the editing look SO weird bruh, the cut eps look unprofessional. and lastly, it hurts the views of the show, of course, bc most people are not gonna watch it on gmmtv's channel & are just gonna wait for it to leak on kissasian & dramacool, which is simply horrible. the whole thing about gmmtv releasing their shows on youtube is bc it profits them greatly in terms of viewerships & marketing. so yeah, that's my least favorite thing about cooking crush. there's some other things but they're nowhere near that bad lol so I'll wait for more episodes or for my official 'axelle judges bl shows' review to put everything out at once.

lastly, I do think the show will stay just sweet & quit surface-level. from the original mock trailer, we know there will likely be one crying scene but that's kinda it I imagine. personally, for a show to become my favorite I need more angst & more depth, but I never really went into cooking crush thinking it would give me that. I've rarely encountered a comedy that doesn't stay quite surface-level. do I wish the show would explore the characters' sexualities, ten's daddy issues, fire's mommy issues & tenprem's social inequality more in order to make it more deep? yeah, I'm ngl. do I think that's what they're going for? absolutely not. that being said they might surprise me bc girl next room: richy rich (with off as lead & by the same director and screenwriter) did explore the mindset of an ex-poor person become suddenly rich as well as social inequality with quite a bit of nuance, so we never know!

xxx

Throwing in fun (not fun) facts to contribute esp bc I was tagged in the essay: (Sorry in advance this is literally my career and special interest AND I just got back from a training conference about this SO obv I am going to talk too much. Disclosure: These statistics are from peer-reviewed sources AND the National Children's Alliance. The NCA IS an American association, though, so take this all with a grain of salt bc we're applying it to someone whose bg is not American lmao. This is an essay for funsies. CW: discussion of and stats about CSA, Child Abuse) Relevant to the Jo stuff is also that victims of one/any kind of abuse are statistically much more likely to subsequently face overlapping abuse, so knowing he comes from a home where abuse and potential neglect was actively occurring sets Jo-boy up for some sad statistics. I am looking for my notes on the stats for that but it's something stupid high, I wanna say over 30 or 40%.

Additionally, 47%~ of CSA victims are revictimized. Abysmal statistic but mostly just an interesting note if this IS the case/if we choose to interpret Jo this way bc of the other things mentioned in Masu's ask, specifically if we're viewing his unhealthy and ultimately traumatic relationship with Ikumi as a potential example of that revictimization (similarly, coming from a like background, it may have been revictimizing for Ikumi if she had ever experienced something like CSA, as well. It's one of those cases where they both got hurt even if neither of them were at fault for "playing house" as Jo calls it).

Seconding/Adding on to Masu's thoughts about Jo's behavior being as self-destructive as it is because of the compounded trauma of his life, victims of adolescent abuse "engage in health-risk behaviors such as substance use, physical fighting, and risky sexual activity," in far higher numbers than non-victims. We know for facts that adolescent Jo checks at least 2 of those 3 boxes, and that he still puts himself in unnecessary danger as a full grown adult (the Heian Tower fight, and Hoshino's Office fight): An interesting and well-written cycle of trauma and abuse on RGGs part, tbh, but also so narratively telling about how he saw/sees/continues to see himself as more an object than a person. (Love your notes on that btw, it rings very true. I could write an essay on that alone tbh.)

Another weird little thing I notice from both a Doyalist AND Watsonian perspective: Jo's disclosure of his father's abuse would classify as what we call an "accidental disclosure" in the field even though it's clearly intentional that he shares it with Ichi - it's offhanded and markedly unimportant in the story he's telling. He says it passively in a literary sense, as well: "The only thing waiting for me at home was my father's fists." Like homie, that's the most roundabout way you could have said "My dad beat me." Interestingly, up to 50% of [specifically CSA] victims do not state outright that abuse occurs, but disclose it accidentally/offhandedly; and in general, accidental disclosure is more common among people who have also delayed disclosure. Up to 66% of admissions from victims of child abuse come delayed if they come at all.

I think it's a very in-character remark of him to make, but statistically, it lines up with other victims of abuse as a whole. I think it's also just cool that from the Doyalist perspective, writing his lines in this way was intentional. It's part of the whole "Everything Jo says sounds like it could mean more than one thing" thing. He speaks poetically - it's intentional not just for the character but for the writer.

Okay, I'm done for now I'm sorry I just wanted to throw some added stuff into the convo bc I love applying my everyday usage of adolescent-focused trauma care and pysch shit to blorbos and seeing what sticks. Anyway, I also have a shit ton of thoughts on Masumi Arakawa as an abuse survivor but THATS another essay I won't dig into now. If I am still in your good graces after this long ass spiel I will consider it not only amazing but perhaps even cool as hell.

[ continuity of this ask ]

Talk about your love for MegaStar 👀

oh no what HAVE you done uhh i will try to like...keep my thoughts condensed bc the ESSAYS i could write on this ship. my dissertation on megastar

okay this ended up being long so i WILL put this under a readmore LMAO

i mean the thing is i could write so much because their dynamic is both like the same but also SO DIFFERENT IN EVERY CONTINUITY so my thoughts on megastar changes depending on continuity like. how i feel about TFA Megastar is not exactly the same as how i feel about TFP Megastar or Earthspark Megastar or IDW Megastar but like...the one thing i like the MOST about megastar is just how dysfunctional and codependent it can be (sorry hkdsfh but also idk what anyone expects with megastar i...am not sure anyone ships it bc its a paragon of a healthy relationship)

which is like a whole other can of worms but i find that sort of thing interesting in general, bc like...ALL cybertronians to a degree are dysfunctional, some more than others, but that kinda comes with the territory of having a 4-million year long civil war and one (1) therapist (who is only in one continuity). none of them really know HOW to be healthy and it's interesting exploring that and the different ways they've been broken and the different ways they cope. and to me megastar is one of the MORE interesting examples because like there is something to be said about knowing someone and being THAT close to them for as long as megatron and starscream have. they know each other better than anyone else, which is both isolating and a strange comfort. if starscream or megatron were ever to disappear or die, the other would lose a not-insignificant part of themselves; i don't think either of them even remember what their life was like without the other, nor can they really imagine it. like starscream being megatron's SiC has them working together for basically their entire lives i'd imagine. which is like...also something i wish was explored more, WHY starscream is megatron's SiC. like show me why he earned that rank! show me why he KEEPS that rank, why megatron trusts him THAT much, because like...obviously he must be SiC for a reason. why would megatron appoint him as his second if he did not in SOME capacity feel starscream was capable of leading the decepticons if he's gone (so like...stories of starscream being hopelessly incompetent kinda frustrate me sometimes. like sometimes i find them amusing but man i would love more of Dangerous, Competent Starscream bc he is SO enjoyable that way too). like TFA Starscream is one of my favorite depictions of Starscream because he is a THREAT and you can INSTANTLY see with everything he does WHY he is rightfully feared by autobots and proves megatron shouldn't have underestimated him

they're messy and co-dependent and i wish i could find like DMs where i've rambled abt it bc i've definitely articulated myself better in those and i'm having trouble w words rn hfldksjh. i want them to watch the world to burn, together, hand in unlovable hand

i find their relationship and dynamic just fascinating, not even 100% from a shipping standpoint, just in general (although i do also ship them and think they should kiss. or that they're bitter exes, which is like...ALSO a very fun dynamic to explore for me)

i guess if you want more focused thoughts ask me about a specific continuity bc i have a LOT to say about different megastars! like ESPECIALLY earthspark lately, but yeah. w/o a continuity i just talk about like...megastar OVERALL like IN GENERAL what i enjoy in a megastar dynamic

not to mention like every continuity ever has ENABLED and fed me so much. the megastars eat so well all the time and i thank hasbro for it. didnt like wfc but "i like his arrogance actually" will be THE highlight of the whole thing. did ANY of this rambling make sense. god i hope so, god i hope not