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aestheticallyholland · 3 years

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NEVER NOT | GOODBYES . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 1.6k words

❃ AUTHOR'S NOTES just to remind those who have come this far of this series that this is the last chapter of the series! if you still wanna be tagged on the last chapter, feel free to comment on this post to see the ending of this series. now sit back, or lay down, and enjoy this second to the last chapter of never not !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"I don't have to be so afraid of goodbye, because goodbye doesn't have to be forever." - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

FOR THE PAST WEEKS BEFORE TOM WAS LEAVING FOR CALIFORNIA, he and Y/N spent it together as what they have promised to each other. They would also invite Harrison and Erika with them from time to time.

Tom also spent it with his family since he would be away from them too, not just from Y/N.

Tom and Y/N could not stop exchanging with each other a bunch of 'i love you' and holding on to each other. They would have lunch together while in school and dinner at Y/N's home since her dad would cook for them.

There was a day wherein Aiden and Tom spoke to each other and apologized because of the fight they had before. It was also the time that Tom told Aiden that he was leaving for his acting career.

Few days before he was leaving, he had his last day in school. He already talked with his teachers and the principal regarding his acting career and cannot go to school anymore.

At the same time, he also spent it with some of his friends together with Harrison. Y/N gave him time to spend it with them.

And an unexpected moment happened during that day.

"Hey, Tom and Y/N." A very familiar voice called out for them and the couple looked back at that person.

"Camille?" Tom asked and she just gave them a small smile.

"Mind if we talk for a bit?" She asked and both Y/N and Tom looked at each other in confusion.

They arrived outside the school building to talk since Camille asked. They sat down in the bleachers where the view was the lacrosse team playing. Tom will surely miss playing lacrosse with his teammates.

"Look." Camille started and looked at the couple. "I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything. Most especially to you, Y/N." Camille's eyes focused on Y/N who just looked at her back.

"I'm so stupid enough to call you my enemy just because of some boy that I liked." She pointed at Tom. "All these years, we could've stayed best friends until now you know? But because of my jealousy, I ruined it." Camille continued and already felt tears forming in her eyes. Y/N felt her chest tighten and went near Camille. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I mean it now."

Y/N gave an arm around Camille's shoulder and pulled her closer for a hug. Camille was now crying more when Y/N pulled her for a hug. Y/N felt that everything was better now that Camille apologized for her mistakes. "I forgive you now, Camille." She whispered, loud enough for Camille to hear. Y/N looked at Tom who was smiling at what was happening.

"Really?" Camille asked as she pulled away to look at Y/N. Y/N just gave her a reassuring smile as an answer. Camille hugged her once again by surprise which made Y/N giggle and hugged back.

"Thank you, Y/N. I swear, I'll be better for you this time." Camille said while hugging Y/N.

"I take your word on that, Millie," Y/N said and Camille's eyes widen as soon as she heard that nickname that Y/N just called her.

"You called me Millie again," Camille said and smiled. Millie was the nickname that Y/N made for Camille. She would always call her by that name since they were best friends.

"Millie?" Tom asked Y/N.

"It was the nickname I used to call her," Y/N answered and Tom nodded in agreement.

"So Tom," Camille called him. "I heard that you got that role for the new Spider-man."

Tom scratched the back of his neck before answering. "Well yeah, I did. I'm glad I was the one who got it." He answered.

"Does this mean that you'll be leaving?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'm leaving next Monday already." Tom answered.

"Would you be okay with that, Y/N?" Camille asked Y/N who just smiled and looked at Tom.

"It's his dream after all. I support him for that." Y/N answered.

Camille looked at Tom and Y/N and just smiled. "You really are a perfect match, you know?"

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[ last week of january 2016 . . . ]

Y/N, together with Tom's whole family, Harrison, and Erika, came to the airport to see Tom leave for California.

"Facetime us from time to time, dear." His mother said while giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I will mom, don't worry," Tom said while hugging her.

"Here is a book of mine to keep you up when you feel stressed out." His father said and gave him a book that he wrote. Tom got it and hugged his father.

"Man, I'll miss golfing with you." Harry, his brother, said when he gave his older brother a hug. "And beating you In golf too." He added which made Tom punch his chest lightly.

"You sure you're not coming with me to pursue your photography career?" Tom asked him and Harry shook his head.

"I have to finish school first," Harry said. "I'm still sixteen, bro." He added.

Tom also gave a hug to Harry's twin brother, Sam, and also had a quick chat with him. Seeing this made Y/N feel so happy that she got a boyfriend who was so loving towards his family.

"He'll be a great actor, you know." Y/N heard Harrison's voice talking to her. "I would show you his performance in Billy Elliot soon." He added.

"You should," Y/N answered Harrison who gave her a smile before Tom approached them.

"Man, I'll miss you," Harrison said. "I'll catch up with you there soon though." They gave each other a hug and patted each other's back.

"I know, mate," Tom answered back to Harrison. "Take care of Y/N for me, okay?" He told his best mate and Harrison nodded. Tom also turned to Erika who was there and gave her a hug too.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of her too," Erika said and pulled Tom closer for her to whisper in his ear, "Don't let the ladies swoon over for you when you get there. Got that?" Erika said and pulled Tom back. "Don't worry, I got my eyes only for Y/N." He said to Erika and she just smiled and gave him a high five.

Lastly, Tom turned his attention to Y/N. Save the best for last, he said to himself.

His family and their friends walked back a little to give them some time alone. As soon as Tom had his eyes on her, she couldn't help but cry a little but she also gave a smile. Tom walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Fuck." Tom cursed under his breath. "It's hard to leave because of you, you know? Should I just cancel?" He joked that made Y/N punch him lightly. "I'm kidding, love."

Y/N raised her head up to look at him properly. Tom cupped her cheeks with his hands and leaned his forehead to hers. "Wait for me, okay?" He whispered. He pressed his lips to hers for a while and eventually pulled away.

"I will, Tom. Even if you take years, I'll wait for you." Y/N answered and sobbed. She looked away for a while.

"Look at me, love," Tom said and that made Y/N look up to him again. "I will never not think about you." He said and kissed her forehead that made her smile and held on to his arm.

"And I'll never stop loving you, Tom," Y/N said. "I'll miss you so much,"

"I'll miss you the most," Tom said. He hugged her once again with his head on top of hers for a while before pulling away and gathered all his luggage. He waved to his family and friend before walking away.

All Y/N could do was watch him leave until she noticed that her hair was tied with the scrunchie that her mother gave to her. Her eyes suddenly widen and had an idea on her mind.

"Tom! Wait!" She called after him and ran towards him before he could go through the gates.

As soon as Tom heard her voice, he stopped walking and looked back to see Y/N running towards him. She suddenly jumped onto him and he caught her and spun her around.

He put her down before saying anything to her, "What's wrong?" He asked her, concerned.

Y/N then untied her hair and handed him the scrunchie. "I just wanted to give this to you. Something that you can keep while you're away. Something that will make you think of me." She said.

"But, isn't this the only thing that you could remember your mom?" He asked her.

"She will always be in my memory, Tom." She answered with a smile and Tom smiled back at her. He held out his hand and Y/N placed the scrunchie around his wrist. They hugged once again and pulled away then Y/N pressed her lips to him. After a few seconds, she finally pulled away and leaned her forehead to his.

"I love you, Y/N Y/L/N," Tom whispered.

"I love you, Thomas, always."

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires @robertpattinson-th @jackiehollanderr @butterflies-glitter

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland series

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lunarrwolf · 4 years

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black butterflies [colby brock]

fandom: sam and colby/traphouse

pairing: colby x self

word count: 1,864

part(s): one two

summary: after a prank gone wrong, colby and his friends meet another youtuber during her meet and greet in hopes it will cheer her up

A/N: this is a self-insert because it’s a fic that was started for my own personal pleasure. it was supposed to be shared last year on my fan account after a poll was done but never was bc i ended up not feeling ready to do so. i figured since i‘m ready to share it now, it would be best to do it here since it’s pretty detailed

TWO

She was going to be okay, right? She didn't need Casey to be there every step of the way. The redhead wasn't even needed for the business over in California. She always did perfectly fine without her longtime friend in all the solo videos. Casey was only there for a fraction of the recorded moments. Besides, the argument that night made it clear that she only ever pretended to enjoy the spooks that came with being a part of the channel. There was never any pure joy or thrill that usually came with experiencing such things with your friend. Yet those were half of the best memories Kirsy had with her since the beginning of the channel. They'd been best friends since eighth grade, and yet one prank likely destroyed a friendship of seven years. It was a sad fact that she had to suck up and admit so it wouldn't ruin the trip. So far the only bright side was that her best friend since her sophomore year of high school was going to be keeping her company.

“Please don't tell me you're sulking.” She blinked, realizing she was thoughtfully staring at the half packed suitcase on her bed. She turned her head to the doorway that had a twenty-four year old leaning against it.

Aiden met Kirsy during a school talent show that she was chosen to film. He was one of those viewers always looking for new people to subscribe to, and he found her page only weeks before the show when she had around 1,000 subscribers. He helped a lot with photos and editing, and was the only person who was a real friend for her out of the new ones she made after her channel became widely known. After Casey left, he stepped up as what he described as the 'better best friend’.

She sighed at the raised eyebrow adorning his face and sat on the bed, crossing her legs. “I have a right to sulk, jerkface.”

“Jerkface? You've had better insults than that.” He straightened his posture and walked over to the girl, sitting on the other side of the suitcase. “Was it fair to spring a horror movie on her less than a week after her return from vacation? No- no it was not. But she was in the wrong to just leave you like that. You apologized several times, and has she responded at all? No. And why?”

“I really don't want to have one of your sometimes vulgar speeches right now-”

“Why hasn't she replied?”

Kirsy sighed and hung her head back, letting silence sink in for a brief moment. “Because she’s a jealous supporting character who only stayed because I ended up making money from my videos?”

Aiden raised his eyebrows and leaned back against the mattress, “That wasn't a statement.”

“Well what is it that you want me to say?!” She lifted her arms in exasperation, throwing herself back only to realize that the half empty trunk was still there. She groaned, hiding her face in the side of the object as the young man beside her rolled his eyes.

Once he became familiar with the ginger himself, he was an eyewitness to all fights and disagreements between the pair, as well as the resolutions that came along with them. After the second or third time, he started to observe the way they interacted with one another. Kirsy used to have a tendency of going too far with what she said or did but stopped when she saw how it affected people, which is why this last prank really surprised him. On the other hand, Casey was someone who held grudges and would say the opposite of what she meant when she was upset by something. Her temper raised more than others he knew, and after such a long vacation from the type of content his friend makes, it probably pushed her off the edge. It wasn’t right to pull a stunt like that but it was less right to refuse to resolve issues or just be civil after the other party puts in so much effort to fix a wrong.

They may have become friends when he was a senior and they were sophomores, but he considered Kirsy his closest. She was the type to either not be fazed by other people or bottle things up if she was; there was never an in-between. He watched her bemused as she kept her face on the side of the suitcase, reaching for a pillow to throw on top of her head. “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to stop being so depressing.”

“Depressed is my default.”

There was a beat of silence after her muffled reply, then laughter broke out in the empty room. She lifted her head from underneath the pillow to see Aiden trying to keep himself from laughing too hard. He didn’t know if it was because of how she sounded or because of the fact she said it so casually, but he couldn’t help himself. Seeing her friend enjoy himself over something she said did make her feel better. So - she threw the object back at him and sat up. He dialed it down immediately, chuckling when they made eye contact. “I’m sorry but while that wasn’t the thing I was looking for, it was something. And you need to realize that you can’t control what other people do and how they handle things. You can, however, control how you handle shit. Now I say you finish packing so we can get our asses to fucking California and you can show me off to all of your west coast kids.”

She stared at him for a short moment before pointing at him, “See? Vulgar speech.” He rolled his eyes and she grinned, hopping off her bed to go to her closet.

The young man followed suit, staring at the mostly black attire. “Alright- you better pick the cutest alternative clothes you have if we’re going to be meeting cute boys.”

Kirsy rolled her eyes immediately, not surprised at all with her friend’s judgement and eagerness for them to find boyfriends. Or even just someone for each of them only for the time they would be over there for the trip. “We’re going to Los Angeles, Aiden. Where is there going to be a cute guy who’s also not going to end up being a jerk?”

The former blonde eyed the boy going over how they could approach the vlogger when the time comes.

Colby didn’t want to come off cocky or dismissive by bringing up their channels. He also didn’t want to seem too eager since they all now watched her videos just as much as she did theirs. It felt like there was a lot riding on this. It was different than if they would run into each other at a convention somewhere, and he didn’t fully know why. At least, he would always tell himself he didn’t know. “Her meet up isn’t for another two days- why are you freaking out?”

He slumped over the counter, planting his head down into his folded arms. His roommates and closest friends all watched him with knowing looks as he tried several times to brush off the subject. He met each of their gazes, “I’m not freaking out. I just want her to meet some nice people.”

“Her fans are nice people.” Corey cut in, jumping up to sit on the counter across from the kitchen’s island.

The dark brunette only attempted the same trivial action, waving a hand to dismiss the sentence as if it wasn’t a fact. He knew how great a community the girl built up. She always talked about wanting to grow her own family and have that connection with so many people; not one based off of fandoms she was in but based on her own content and genuine following. He was one of those members, only he kept it more low-key than his friends in order to let her have that part of her dream. What Corey said rang, yet at the same time- “Ones she can talk to. I’m sure she would love to meet someone who understands.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that you like her.” Jake stated, raising an eyebrow at his friend, daring for him to deny it. It was something he was ready to do the moment the words left his roommate’s lips.

It just didn’t make sense to develop feelings of any kind for something you’d never met or even spoken to - did it? They were two YouTubers who started at different times, somehow never ran into one another at conventions, and she was a fan of his and his roommates long before she started launching her own career in this industry. He never followed the account she had that was mostly dedicated to him but he remembered liking countless posts and reading some of the captions directed at him that he never replied to.

He did notice how similar they were - sense of style, music taste, outlook on life and the many hair color changes - but it couldn’t have stirred anything up. Maybe he just knew that they would get along well if they met in real life versus just knowing that the other existed. There didn’t have to be a whole situation where he developed a crush on a girl who made a fan account for him and showed up in his mentions a lot. Someone who was a fan of him and his content for years before he even acknowledged her; and that was before she started her own channel and brand. At the same time though, before she stopped tagging him in edits and posts, every time she would respond to his posts and such were done without sounding like an actual fan. From the few times he would catch her comments, she made it seem as if they were friends. And her replies always matched his own feeling and hope of someone understanding what he would mean.

The self proclaimed ‘emo god’ of the group could only voice his denial before announcing his leave of the kitchen. After so long, his closest friends knew exactly how their comrade behaved when he was attracted to or was beginning to like someone. They knew he was going to be in denial for at least the two days leading up to all of them seeing the twenty-two year old off screen.

When Colby reached his bedroom, he threw himself on top of the large covers on his bed, placing his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. The ding that indicated a Twitter notification sounded in the silence, and he fished his phone out of his pocket. He saw that he’d been tagged in another post and decided to check it out, expecting it to be art or some selfies for the trend his fans started. It was the latter, although it ended up being a tag from Kirsy’s account. He looked at the photos thoughtfully before pressing the heart on the screen.

Maybe there was another reason for going to her meet up.

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huntertales · 5 years

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Part Two: Victor’s Home For Wayward Children. (Freaks and Geeks S08E18)

Episode Summary: The reader and the Winchester brothers investigate a recent set of murders that appear to be caused by a vampire, and are surprised to learn that teenage hunter Krissy Chambers is involved. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 3,125.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

You weren’t exactly sure what a hideout for three teenager hunters and their supposed guardian would be. Somewhere quiet and secluded, away from wandering eyes so they could have target practice and hand to hand combat training. On the drive here you were picturing an abandoned building renovated enough for it to be livable. A house that was falling apart from the previous owner. What you saw through the backseat window was none of those things. Victor’s home for wayward kids was located somewhere…very peaceful, quiet. Normal.

You got out form the Impala when the kids parked in the driveway of the rather cozy house they called their own for the past few months. You observed the empty street to see other houses around you, occupied by others from the lights on in the windows and cars parked in the driveway. Innocent people enjoying their normal day to day lives, having no clue what their neighbors were up to. You headed over to the boys when they got out of the car and took a look around for themselves. It was clear none of you were expecting Suburbia.

“Not what I call a compound.” Dean said.

You and the boys headed inside after the kids to see if the place was as normal looking as it did from the outside. When your only participation with the supernatural involved spending your days searching monsters, you weren’t worried about your home keeping up appearances for guests. You had books piled up around the place, and when you found yourself too busy to tidy up the place it got a little bit hectic. It wasn’t like you had any friends or visitors to impress. You had the occasional welfare check up from John to make sure you were still alive on his watch, every few weeks Dean would pop up announced for a place to crash. And make sure you were all right. Those were your favorite visits.

Victors place looked appeared to be normal. Like you stepped into an interior magazine article of how to cozy up your home. You looked around the place to see the layout of the place; living room to your left that lead into the spacious looking kitchen and dining room. A staircase that lead upstairs to where you presumed where each of them had their own room. You peered into the hallway that lead forward where you saw a few shut doors. A bathroom, maybe a space where they kept all their weapons. This was too comforting for your liking. It felt like Victor was trying to hide something.

Dean observed the house for himself, taking in everything and how much it wasn’t what he was expecting during the ride here. He mumbled a noise underneath his breath, which caught the attention of Krissy. She looked over her shoulder and to the man, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just not what I expected.” Dean admitted.

“And what was that?” She asked.

“A little more ‘Lord of the Flies’,” Dean said, continuing to look around the house as if he was trying to find some sort of flaw. He was still not convinced everything wasn’t as it seemed. “less Huxtables.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” A voice came up another part of the house, making you turn your direction to the staircase. You saw an older man descending down, a welcoming smile spread across his face at the sight of three stranger in his house. You returned the gesture out of politeness. He wasn’t the hunter you remembered meeting four years ago. The man standing in front of you looked like was trying to be Mr. Rogers himself from his loafers and cardigan. “Victor Rogers.”

“We met—a ruguru hunt. I’m Sam. This is my brother, Dean.” The younger man introduced all of you, pointing at himself and than his older sibling. You smiled once again when Sam directed Victor’s attention to you. “And this is our hunting partner, Y/N.”

“Oh, yes. The Winchesters. And Y/L/N. I heard that name lingering through the hunter's grape vine over the years. You're Ella's daughter, right? She was quite a legend. What a shame she quit hunting." Victor remembered now who all of you were. You nodded your head, wondering why he brought up such a thing. You brushed it off, watching as Josephine walked up to her surrogate father and embraced herself into his awaiting arms. She needed to be comforted by the only parental figure she had in her life now. "Better now?"

“Much.”Josephine said, seeming at peace from the things she accomplished earlier tonight.

“And what do we always say?” Victored asked.

"Move on, but never forget." Josephine repeated the motto.

"Good. Now," Victor moved on to more important topics that needed to be discussed after the hunt was over. "Don't you have a trig test in the morning?"

Josephine let out a sigh, nodding her head and went on her way upstairs to study for the big test she had tomorrow. Aiden came back from the kitchen with an apple in his hand, hoping he might be able to sneak himself past Victor and have a relaxing night. "Oh, I'm good, Vic. No test. I'm just gonna chill, play video games."

“Uh-huh. Yeah, keep dreaming. Because I asked to clean your room, twice. And you still haven’t done it. Go on now.” Victor popped the young man’s hope, pointing a thumb to upstairs so he could get to the chores. Aiden let out a defeated groan and made his way to complete the task. No back talk, no complaints. Krissy made her way over to the man, knowing she had some of her own kind of homework she needed to complete for him. “And you.”

“A full report about the hunt on your desk by morning.” Krissy said. Victor smiled and bowed slightly, letting her know she was free to go. “Okay. I’ll be in my room.”

Victor let out a content sigh when all the kids were now tucked away for the night completing all sorts of normal tasks. Now it was time for the grown ups to talk in private. “Drink?”

The boys took up on the offer while you were forced to decline on anything alcoholic, Victor made up for it by handing you a cold of ice water. You smiled in appreciation and took a sip, watching as he fixed three glasses of whiskey from the looks of it and handed out two glasses to the boys. There was a lot for you to take in. You weren’t sure how you felt about Victor and his methods of how he was raising these kids. You found yourself on the fence at all of this. Part of you would never let your child want to know anything about the supernatural, let alone be hunting when they weren't even legal age. And another felt sort of envious at how they managed to balance things. You were curious as to how all of this worked.

“So, these kids go to school—like school-school, real school?” Sam asked.

“Yes, and they’re doing incredibly well considering all they’ve been through.” Victor said.

"Okay, so how does all of this work?" Dean couldn’t help himself when jumped straight to the question he was the most curious about. "What, after soccer practice and the bake sale, they chop vampires' heads off?"

“Well, yeah.” Victor said. “I think a balanced approach is best, don’t you?”

"But they're kids. They shouldn't be hunting at all." Dean argued with the man about his ideology about what was right. It was dangerous and risked too many chances of someone end up getting hurt when they still had so much of their lives ahead of them. "You got to break this up right now."

“When I found them, they were lost, confused, angry. I gave them family and purpose. And you want to take that all away?” Victor defended himself against your judgement. “Why?”

“So they don’t get killed.” You told him a reason that sounded good to you.

“They know the risks.” Victor said.

“Yeah,” You agreed to a certain point. “But why take them?”

"Because the next generation of hunters has to be better." Victor said. You furrowed your brow slightly from what you were hearing, wondering who he was thinking that had to be better than. When you heard his reasoning behind all of this, you felt your grip around the cup tighten. "Better than us. Oh, come on, guys. I know your friends. I mean, Martin was insane. And somebody obviously dropped Garth on his head when he was a baby. And I know you three loved that Bobby guy, but he was a barely functioning alcoholic."

"Watch your mouth." You said to him, trying your hardest to hold back the venomous tone you desperately wanted to use on him. "Bobby was a damn good hunter.”

"No disrespect meant, but Josephine is an all-state athlete and a National Merit scholar. Aiden is so fast he could pick your pocket before you could blink. And Krissy, oh she's just a natural born leader and hunter." Victor said, giving a list of things that made these kids great. Sure, it could be for hunting. But you didn't look it at that. You thought of so many things they could be making use of their talents. "These kids are the cream of the crop. They are the Beatles. They are the dream team. And once they get their revenge...they'll be better hunters than any of us ever dreamed of."

There was something about Victor that was rubbing you in all the wrong ways. You would have loved to somehow balance hunting and a normal life on the side. You were content with the living situation you had at the moment, but you knew in the matter of months your entire life was going to change. You needed to start thinking about the long run. About post-baby life and closing the gates of hell. Demons might be gone for good, but you still had so many monsters out there wanting to kill you. The three kids in that house were proof.

You and the boys made your way outside after taking a look around at the dynamics. While they weren’t what you thought it was going to be, Dean’s opinion of the matter was clear. The kids in that house weren’t legal age to be an adult, so it made sense for them not to be able to go after the vampire that killed their families. So what if hunting came natural to them. They had their entire lives to screw up while in the process of saving a few people before their own ended up being cut short. Because no one got a happy ending with this lifestyle.

“This is crazy.” Dean said.

“Is it?” Sam wondered. “They got a pretty good life.”

“Kids aren’t supposed to hunt, Sam.” His brother said.

“We did.” Sam said.

“Yeah, and look what that did for us.” Dean replied back.

"Maybe they're doing it right." You said. "Maybe they can hunt and have a real life."

“You know that’s not true.” Dean said.

"Why, 'cause it didn't work out for us? I mean, what do you think life is gonna be like once the baby gets here? You think I'm just gonna be out for good?" You asked. Dean's expression fell, knowing this was a conversation he didn't want to have right now. "Whatever. Then what do you want to do? Because Victor’s not gonna stop this.”

“They said they were hunting a nest, right?” Dean asked. You nodded your head. “Well, let’s hunt it for ‘em. That way, until we can figure out what to do with Victor, they stay safe.”

“All right,” Sam agreed to the plan. “So, what’s your move?”

“I want to talk to that girl who was tied up at the motel. Something didn’t smell right about that.” Dean said. “Why don’t you guys stay here and look after the Brady Bunch?”

You agreed to the plan, knowing there wasn't much else you could do at the moment until you figured out where this nest was. And you wanted to keep a better eye on Victor. Dean headed back to the Impala and drove off a minute later, leaving you and Sam to watch over the family. The both of you exchanged a look before heading back inside. As you stepped into the house, you didn't notice the same blue van that Dean had seen earlier tonight slowly pull up to the exact spot where the Impala was just a second ago. He only stayed for a moment, watching as a house full of hunters went on with their peaceful night.

+ + +

The next morning you woke up feeling somewhat rested from the few hours you managed to snag after Victor offered you a place to relax for the night. You would have been fine on the pull out couch, but Sam insisted you take the guest room on the first floor hall. While it was better than staying at a motel, nothing compared to your own bed at the bunker. The place where you called home. You rolled out of bed when you were woken up by the sounds of a dark barking a few houses down, the noise brought you back to the time when you still lived at home.

You made yourself look presentable before venturing out down the hall to follow the sounds of muffled voices and movement. As you made your way to the kitchen, you passed by the living room where you saw a folded up blanket and pillow sitting on the arm rest. You turned into the kitchen to see what a normal morning looked like—and nearly running into Aiden.

“Y/N, just in time.” Victor greeted you from behind the kitchen counter, where he was whipping up breakfast for everyone. You tried your hardest to not be a nuisance to the family, but you found yourself doding teens who were trying to make their way to the dining room to enjoy their breakfast before school. "Grab a seat."

You raised your brow in surprise to see what was on the menu. "Waffles?"

“Yeah,” Victor said. “Krissy's fav."

"My dad used to make 'em for me all the time." She said, grabbing two plates for herself and you before heading to the table where you followed behind. "I think it was the only thing he knew how to cook."

You smiled at the memory she had of her late father before sitting yourself down to enjoy a breakfast that didn't sound too bad. Before you dug into the food, you looked around the table to see Josephine had her nose stuck in her trig book, probably trying to study before her big test. Victor made his way over, reaching out a hand to grab the book from the young woman and told her to interact with everyone. Aiden, being a teenager that he was, smirked and called her a nerd. Victor was quick to make corrections to the kid's manner, pushing his elbows off the table and reminded him of manners he should be using.

“We’re gonna be late.” Josephine said, glancing over at the clock to see what time it was.

You and Sam watched as the trio of kids grabbed another piece of food for the road before grabbing their backpacks for school, Victor ushering them out and reminding them he'd pick them up after school. You would be lying if you said you weren't impressed at how all of them worked together in sync, almost fooling you into thinking they were a normal family. Victor went on with his morning, heading into the dining room to clean up the dishes they left behind.

“Whirlwind, right? It’s always like that with kids.” Victor said. He grabbed a few plates and began heading off to the kitchen to put them into the sink. “You got any, Sam?”

“Me? Uh, no.” Sam answered the man’s question.

“You want any?” Victor asked.

"Uh," Sam found himself unsure how to answer that question. You looked over at him, curious as to what he thought about being a parent. You knew he wanted to have a normal life. And he could have had that, along with a family if he stayed with Amelia. All though he let that chance pass him by, he didn't want to shut out the possibility completely. "I don't know yet."

"Well, from the looks of it, you're going to be an uncle. Which is practically having your own. But trust me, the answer's yes. " Victor said. He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket to show you and Sam a picture he kept close to him at all times. You leaned over to see it was a family of three with their mother, smiling and appearing to be happy. You guessed that it was Victor's family. "Yeah. Well, until we went camping and a wendigo ripped them to shreds."

"Sorry." Sam told the man, giving his condolences at the tragic end of four innocent lives. People always needed a reason to start hunting. Most of the time it was a child who lost their parents or a sibling to a monster, turned out Victor lost his entire family in one night. "Is that why you're doing this, taking all these kids in?"

Victor nodded his head, but it was part of his reasoning. "But you know what I realized,guys, is that these kids, they don't have to live it the way we have. You know, crappy hotel rooms, always moving, no family, no life. It's not the only way."

You found yourself lingering on the way of Victor's thinking. There was always a set way for how a hunter was supposed to work; always on the road, never in one spot for too long without risking the chance of their past catching up to them. You knew of people who had homes and a place to rest their heads. But they didn't have kids to come home to, or a spouse to listen to the things they saw while on a job. It was the bitter emptiness that greeted them, and drove them to drink to silence their demons. Victor wanted to break the rules and do things his way.

He wanted to give these kids a stable life to come home to and a support system they didn't have anymore. He wanted to give them the best of both worlds. It was everything you always wanted. A part of you was envious. Another part of you knew all of this was too good to be true.

[Next Part]

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linsh6 · 5 years

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Speculations for GOT S8

Since I’ve expressed some thoughts about Show!Jonrya, maybe I just outright say all my opinions toward GOT and my S8 speculations.

D&D are really dumb writers

Yes, I won't avoid my “despise” on them so I just outright say it. A lot of people think they just hate Arya so much so they reduce her complex character into a one-dimensional badass assassin and ignore her capacity to become a leader (or queen). But in my opinion, they just purely so suck at script writing that everyone in the show is reduced to a one-dimensional character.

I once held a job as a scriptwriter back in my country (not in English though, and then I quit my job and became a free writer), and I know some important principles and points when it comes to scriptwriting. First of all is the characters’ arcs, D&D apparently have sucked at that so I won’t say much, all of you guys can refer to Grrm’s amazing original and will know how complex character development truly is (He’s so talented and I admire him so much). Why, based on Grrm’s brilliant work, D&D still managed to fuck up the characters’ shapings, I don’t know the reason, just like I suspect why they can even earn their job at HBO.

Then is the structure and consistency, I can convince myself that D&D did try their best for the characters but failed, but if the story is not consistent and even contradict itself, it’s deadly. A good scriptwriter (or at least who wants to be) must consider the whole plan from the beginning, otherwise, the story would easily become a total mess.

I believe that D&D do that effort (I believe in their ambition to be remembered and honored as scriptwriters), and we can access that they did plan out some character's development from S1 and talked with Grrm regarding their endings.

So based on that I would build my personal speculations for S8′s plot.

1. Jonerys’ relationship & Daenerys’ ending.

First of all, I am a little up for the Daenerys’ mad queen theory. In S7 Daenerys literally burn people alive because they refused to bend their knee, which includes Sam’s father and brother. Tyrion felt it not good and tried to stop her, but he failed.

That behavior is not a really good sign to me, and every character must hold their fate for what they’ve done, remember some actors did refer that there’s a trail for everyone in the final season? If that’s the case, why Daenerys should escape that final trial? I can tell D&D set this up intentionally because Tyrion as a neutral mirror already contradicted Daenerys at that scene.

And I dont’t see Jonerys will end well, their value and ways of lifestyle are too different, and their union in last season was nothing more than a forced push. They only knew each other for several days! How can we count on their relationship to be a great love story? And honestly I don’t see D&D put any effort in developing Jonerys’ relationship, all of their plots are so obvious and cliche, if they really are the final endgame D&D certainly could come up something better & more touching.

I do think that Jonerys would become enemies in the end. Daenerys has no way back but become a queen to rule the seven kingdoms, otherwise all the efforts along her way to come to now would mean nothing, where there’s no better description than Grrm’s original line “If I look back, I am lost” ( In the books I sympathize for Daenerys, but she’s so flat on the show...)

2. Sansa will die

Honestly, I think Sansa will die halfway both in the show and in the books, she’s not important enough to make it to the finale episode. Actually she’s not even important enough bothering me to talk about, but D&D certainly did show some “fondness” to this character that made us hard to ignore.

Of course, they really “like” her, even to add a rape plot to force her to “grow” and made her first reunite with Jon. But that’s it, they can’t do more. They nearly made her become the top tier characters, but only nearly. Despite of their “fondness” of Sansa, D&D still didn’t make the northern lords fight against Boltons for Sansa like they did for Arya in the books, neither Jon. And D&D shaped her as an ambitious politician who would rather take place of Jon and almost kill her sister, which was verified by the script remark. (And Jonsa is a crackship both in the show and the books, there’s no other way around.)

Sansa still needs to fulfill her final character arc with meeting Cersei at King’s Landing, so her death may happen at episode 4 or 5 I guess.

3. Arya’s role in the battle of dawn

I surely believe Arya will play an important role in the battle of dawn, even decisive, first point is her valyrian dagger, and second is Nymeria.

In Isaac’s interview, he did say bran offers Arya the valyrian dragger because he senses there’s gonna be some importance to it. So maybe we can guess Arya would use this dagger in some vital fighting moment like fighting the Night King.

Then is Nymeria, I know people are all upset about the scene in S7, but it must mean for something, otherwise that would be a total waste of time for showing that Nymeria becomes a queen of a wolf pack (and the money too). Remember Ghost and Nymeria are the only Stark’s direwolf left. I believe Nymeria’s wolf pack would show up in the critical moment during the fighting.

4. Arya’s parallel to Lyanna

I guess that in S8 there may be a scene directly compare Arya to Lyanna. Remember GOT’s team did make some efforts to choose an actress who resembles Maisie to play Lyanna. And Maisie also once said "I remember having a little braid in my hair and the hair and make-up team would be like, you cannot leave with that braid in your hair, we have to take it out. Because people will read into it and find some spoilers with just a braid."

If Arya has a scene with a braid and be referred to Lyanna, then it must have a strong impact to Jon, because all these years he always wondered about his mother, now finally gonna see a live Lyanna 2.0 before his eyes.

5. Jonrya’s relationship development

According to actors’ interviews recently, that would be a fair guess that Jonrya won’t go well at the beginning, like a forthright hug as they do in S1E2. But I don’t view it as a bad thing, on the opposite I believe a real important relationship would need a proper and elaborate-designed development (never like Jonerys’ one), that arc would be more moving and impressing.

If Jon & Arya develop their relationship through the final season, like afraid to face each other at the first but then realize they will still love each other no matter what, then I have every reason to believe Jonrya is the endgame.

And if they do end up romantically (that’s my hope), I guess would be under that stressful circumstance and they still and only have each other (Sansa will die, Bran is emotionless, Jon and Daenerys may turn against each other halfway). Only they would love the other unconditionally, what else does it need for them to go further?

Final word

To close this post, I just want to express my love and respect for the show. Not for D&D of course, they suck at those characters and mess the story after S5. But for Grrm’s brilliant original base and the actors’ amazing performances, including those of Lena, Peter, Carice, Alfie, Aiden & so many other great ones, and finally my beloved Maisie (Not including Kit and Emilia, especially Emilia, they’re lovely though).

In my view, GOT is one of the greatest show in the world (thanks to Grrm’s original work of course not D&D’s), and I may rewatch and appreciate it every now and then for my later years.

D&D did a rather good job at least for the first 4 seasons, if they really make an “unexpected” ending as every actor put it and want to impress the audience & to be remembered well, I do hope they could end it well, just like what they did with the beginning.

If that so, I may still not forgive what they did in S5 but would not hate them anymore probably😊.

#jonrya #jon x arya #got8 #got #arya stark

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creideamhgradochas · 6 years

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Thanks to the lovely @abovethesmokestacks for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Pia, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I started back in 2008 when I was 21 years old.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I do enjoy both, but lately it's been more reader inserts. It's challenge to write a good reader insert, to make them a natural part of the setting, to make them relatable to your audience and find a way to make them click with the other characters. Because they are meant to be a character you should be able to see yourself in, it tests your ability to make the character both approachable to a wide range of readers, yet specific enough to mesh with the story.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Well, I have been called the angst queen on numerous occasions. Apparently I am a sucker for making myself and others hurt.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Oh Jesus, probably one of the Twilight fics I wrote during the dark days of my ff.net run. I got swept up in the hype and with a few exceptions, I have no qualms about tossing those fics into a volcano.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

When I have both inspiration, motivation and time. Sadly, sometimes that happens at night and let's just say I have sometimes sacrificed sleep in favour of a story. Generally, though, I don't have a preferred time of day.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

From anything and everything. Something I've seen or heard or experienced, videos I've seen, songs I've listened to.

7) In your Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavors fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

The final scenes of Assorted Flavours is close to my heart. Same with the scene in the Easy As Pie-chapter where they discuss Bucky's metal arm.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I haven't made major amendments. Someone may have pointed out typos or missing words which I have edited, but nothing storyline-wise.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

I am a sucker for a lot of Seb's characters, especially Bucky and Hal. And Chris Beck. They are fun to write and there is so much that can be done and explored with them.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I wanna preface this by saying it's not so much I dislike them as I find them hard to write well. Tony and Thor hard for me to write because I can't seem to connect as easily with them as I can with other characters, and I'd hate to do these guys wrong.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavors?

This is the eternal struggle with me, to come up with a good title. I knew I wanted something that alluded to reader being a baker and one my Spotify playlist shuffled to Emily Browning's rendition of Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This). For the sequel series, I wanted to continue on the same theme, and my friend Loup helped me land on Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavours.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavours?

I am not entirely sure anymore, but it may have included a conversation about Bucky Barnes (or Seb, or both) and cupcakes, and evolved into an idea about Bucky finding a nightopen bakery during one of his nightly walks through Brooklyn (because obviously).

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I have two. One is a Twilight fic that I abandoned and deleted when I left behind my ff.net account for good. It was never going to get finished and I didn't want any WIPs on the account. I didn't delete the account, it's basically there as an archive, but yeah. Deleted that story because I was never going to finish it. The second fic is a Gilmore Girls collab fic I started YEARS ago with a friend from Australia. It was put on hiatus when my friend started writing original fiction. That one I would love to finish, but I don't know how likely that is.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

None that I am really aching to do a sequel for. That being said, with the right inspiration, I could possibly nake a third fic in the little verse I created with Hal in Cling To Me and Cling To You.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Surprisingly, no. I've been happy with the endings to all of my fics.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Are we talking other fanfic writers or other fiction writers? For fanfic writers, just go into my fic rec tag. All of them are immensely talented in their own way. I will give special props to the writers of Not Easily Conquered because what they did with that series has fucked me up for life and I have the tattoo to prove it. For fiction writers, I do love Rowling for what she created with Harry Potter. I remember reading the books as they were published and just... I was mezmerized! I also love everything Neil Gaiman writes, it's dark and quirky and has that little something that takes hold of you. I can reread Pullman's His Dark Materials over and over just for the amazing world and mythology he created for that series.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I usually don't reread stories I haven't clicked with, so not really.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both. I have a Bucky playlist on Spotify that I usually crank whenever I am writing a fic that features him. But I can just as well write in silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes. I cried while writing With Him I Will Stay and Goodbye for example.

20) Which part of your Sweet Dreams fic was the hardest to write?

There wasn't one part that was specifically harder to write than others. I do sometimes get stuck on transitions, how to move from one scene to the next as smoothly as possible. If anything, writing Sweet Dreams has taught me that sometimes it's totally okay to just shift scenes and not make a big deal out of it. Not everything has to be complex.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Often I have a rough idea of how I want things to play out, focus points that I want to include that function as pit stops for me as I write. The only time I haven't made a clear outline was for Kintsugi. I let the prompt guide me and hopes like hell it made sense.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

That it's a process and you learn. I was so worried about writing perfectly. When I started out in the Gilmore Girls fandom and posting at ff.net, it was really common to have a beta reader. I was new, I had no one to beta read and I kept obsessing over getting things right until I realized that I didn't HAVE to have a beta reader and that yeah, I made mistakes but I could learn from them and from reading other what other people wrote.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Maybe Snapshots. Or my T.J fic. I love them both dearly.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Not to the point where it's an eye roll because I do like the attention my fics get. I was very surprised though by the amount of notes that flooded in for a drabble called Fight Night.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I haven't really made use of a lot of OC's. Aiden from Make Me Feel Like I'm Real is the only one that qualifies and with him it's all in how he looks. When I came up with him, I had a very vivid image of a man that looked like a mix of Donald Glover and Daveed Diggs. His personality came quite naturally as he started interacting more with T.J.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

There are so many that have made me blush so hard. One that I remember very vividly was when @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog commented on Soft Devotion that it made them feel the same kind of empowerment that the Wonder Woman soundtrack evoked!

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I have been very lucky so far in the criticism that I've gotten. Mostly it's just been typos or something similar that's been pointed out. When I started out on ff.net there were a few who commented that they didn't understand where I was going with a certain story. I think for one fic I got a comment about having dragged it out for too long, but that's about it.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I do share some of them, simply because I get excited about them or because it's an idea that comes from a conversation that ends with "I need to fic this!!"

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My husband knows, but he doesn't really know what it is (despite my attempts to explain). A few of my old school mates know I write, but otherwise no. I don't really talk about writing fan-fiction with people outside the fandoms I write for.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I love Steve's parts in Sweet Dreams, and anything that involves Sam.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I'm writing a series, the feedback from previous chapters do so much to encourage me. Feedback in general motivates me. I often ask friends to give me feedback on certain scenes or passages while I write and seeing their excitement does a lot to help me push through and finish.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

AUs and A/B/O for sure.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can't remember exactly which one, but it was a Gilmore Girls fic.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I'd love to say fluff, but angst just hurts so good, and getting screamed at in caps-lock is kinda fun.

#milestone celebration #ask the author #abovethesmokestacks

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ncislaficexchange · 7 years

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Postmortem

AN: Post-ep for Unleashed (8x24). Deeks and Kensi visit Sam and Kamran.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kensi rang the doorbell, the diamonds of her engagement ring sparkling in the midafternoon sun. Sam knew they were coming, but Kensi would have been only mildly surprised if he didn’t answer. According to Callen, his partner hadn’t taken up any of his numerous offers to visit.

It had been nearly three weeks since she and Deeks last saw Sam and the kids. They’d hugged goodbye on the day of Michelle’s funeral and promised to be available anytime, for anything. They’d meant it, but assumed that their teammate wouldn’t reach out to them.

Taking matters into her own hands, Kensi left Sam a voice mail earlier in the week reminding him that she had experienced the loss of a parent in her adolescence and reiterating her offer to talk with Aiden and Kamran. Sam texted back that he thought Kam could use her support, and they agreed on today.

“What if he doesn’t open the door?” Deeks asked, his thoughts obviously running along the same path as hers.

“Pick the lock? When the alarm sounds, he’ll come out.” She was only half-joking. Deeks thought they should have waited a little longer before reaching out to the Hannas, but Kensi was adamant that too much time not pass.

When the door finally opened, Kensi and Deeks both did their best to hide their shock at Sam’s appearance. Whether they’d been successful they would never know, as Sam barely looked at them.

The former Navy SEAL, one of the most squared away men Kensi knew, looked like hell. His face and head were still clean shaven, but that was probably the only thing that reminded her of “their” Sam.

He’d lost weight, so his shirt was roomier than they were used to seeing. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags beneath them could carry all of Kamran’s clothes to Keating next month. The skin of his face appeared dull, as if he’d recently been ill. Sam’s normally military bearing was replaced by slightly slumped shoulders and eyes that dragged the floor rather than meeting theirs. He looked like he was about to fall asleep standing up.

“Sam,” Kensi said on an exhale, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around the man. She fought the impulse because she thought it would make her cry, and she and Deeks were here to support the Hannas, not the other way around.

Sam was mute as he opened the door fully and stepped back to allow them entrance. When Kensi and Deeks remained silent as well, preferring to take their lead from Sam, he finally spoke. “Thanks for coming. Kam’s in her room, Kensi. You remember where that is?”

“Yes.” It was clear Sam was not in the mood to talk. Kensi felt bad for Deeks, about to be left here with their teammate, but figured if anyone could occupy both sides of a conversation, it was her fiancé. Giving Deeks a reassuring look, she said, “I’ll head on up then.”

Watching her go, Deeks thought about a course of action. He didn’t know what he expected to find today, but it wasn’t this. Sam seemed so preoccupied Deeks wondered if he would just leave the room and forget someone else was even in the house. “Mind if I get some water?” Deeks asked, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

“No, go ahead. I’m going to the garage,” Sam said before he left.

Walking toward the kitchen, Deeks scanned the rooms he passed along the way. He was relieved that place was as clean and organized as ever. Pulling a couple of bottles of water from the fridge, Deeks made his way to the garage, unsure of his welcome.

Sam was at a workbench, cleaning a gun. There was a collection of firearms displayed in a cabinet on the wall. Deeks put a water on the table and used the other to point to the small armory, “Need a hand?”

Sam stopped what he was doing and looked briefly at Deeks, and the detective was almost sure his teammate was on the verge of asking where Deeks had come from. Sam didn’t speak, but pulled a gun from the case and placed it in front of him. He then pulled open a drawer and Deeks helped himself to the supplies he would need to clean the weapon.

They worked, the room quiet but for the sounds of them brushing and rubbing metal, for several minutes before Deeks settled on what he hoped was a safe topic of conversation. “Aiden doing okay? I mean, as okay as he can be?”

Sam didn’t answer for long enough that Deeks was about to give up hope he would respond at all. When he did, his voice was low. “Aiden would have been here; I wanted him to have the chance to talk to Kensi too, but he has to find volunteer work ASAP.”

“What is that for, some sort of honor society?” Deeks observed.

Sam shook his head. “He had a summer internship lined up at Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Washington State, but with Michelle’s death the commandant at Keating arranged for Aiden to intern part-time at LA AFB instead so he could be at home. He needs to make up the rest of the time with community service hours.” Deeks was glad to notice Sam’s voice becoming more powerful with use.

“How about at a soup kitchen?”

When Sam looked at him this time, his eyes were clearer and focused on him. Deeks was relieved to see it. “That could work.”

“Kensi and I volunteer at one downtown a couple of times a year, and usually at Christmas. Earnestine Lewis runs it; she’s a great lady and I’m sure Aiden would be a big help. She’ll have him doing everything from mashing potatoes to scrubbing pots to picking up donations. When he’s impressed her with that, Earnestine will let him show off his manners on the food line. They’ll love Aiden, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he loves it too and we end up seeing him there sometime during Christmas this year. You want me to reach out to her?”

At Sam’s nod, Deeks pulled out his phone and hit a few buttons. “Hey Ernie, it’s Marty Deeks, how are you, sweetheart?” He smiled as he listened to the woman on the other end. “No, not right now, but I have someone better who can easily do what Kensi and I can get done. His name is Aiden Hanna, and he attends military school during the year, but for the summer he’s looking to do some community service while he’s not interning at Los Angeles Air Force Base…Yeah, he’s a great kid, very responsible, smart, respectful, and able and willing to do anything you need…Does he have a driver’s license?”

Deeks looked at Sam, who nodded in the affirmative. “He sure does. He’s actually out right now looking for a place to volunteer, so I’ll text him and see if he can meet you this afternoon.” Deeks raised his eyebrows at Sam, who took his own phone out and began typing. “So how’s Colton doing?” Deeks walked away from the workbench as he listened to Earnestine catch him up on her husband’s welfare. “Kensi’s great, thanks for asking. All healed from her accident and back to work full time, so she’s happy as a clam at high tide.” Deeks sneaked a peek at Sam before answering the woman’s next question carefully, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, there might definitely be something there next time we see you.”

Sam said, “Aiden can be downtown in an hour.”

“Hey, great news, Aiden can be there in about an hour, ready to interview…Let me just send him the address and hopefully the two of you can work something out…You got it, Earnestine, same to Colton…I will, you too. Bye.” Deeks took Sam’s phone and typed in the soup kitchen’s location before handing it back to him.

“Thanks for that, man. I really appreciate it. Aiden does too,” Sam showed Deeks his phone, complete with his son’s message of thanks to the detective.

“No problem. At least it’s something I can actually do.” Deeks glanced quickly at his teammate and continued, “I wish there was some way we could help you though this, Sam.”

“Really nothing you can do,” Sam assured him.

“That’s what Kensi said, some things you just can’t make better for someone else. I’ll take her word for it since she’s had a loss like the kids. But if there’s anything, even the smallest thing that you guys need, you’ll let one of us know?”

“Sure,” Sam said.

Deeks didn’t think he would, but he sounded more sincere than he had weeks ago at the luncheon. “Is it okay if Kens or I reach out to you periodically, just in case you think of something but don’t want to ask? I mean, hell, Kensi can come by and mess up the place a little – okay, who am I kidding, a lot – give you more cleaning to do, for when you’re done with the guns.”

Sam almost chuckled, “Doesn’t mean I’ll pick up the phone or answer the text, but yeah. And if I forget later, will you make sure to thank Kensi for talking to Kam? This has been so hard on her. I really hope Kensi can give her a little perspective.”

Deeks agreed and the pair was quiet again as they returned to the care of the guns. Deeks broke the silence a while later with a whispered question, “If you knew then how things would end, would you change the life you lived with Michelle? Your careers, kids, any of it?”

His response was an immediate, “No.” After a few seconds, Sam continued, “Knowing what I know now, I would have killed Tahir Khaled last year at Keating, or any time before that when I had the opportunity.” His voice gained strength as he said, “I’m grateful for every second with Michelle and our children.” Sam paused and looked at Deeks suspiciously, “Why? Are you having second thoughts about proposing to Kensi?”

Deeks grinned, “That ship’s already sailed, brother. She popped the question and I said yes.”

The smile on Sam’s face, while small, was the best gift Deeks could have received just then, and he welcomed the handshake and brief hug his friend offered. “She got tired of waiting for your grand scheme to come together, huh?”

“Something like that,” Deeks hedged.

“Well I’m glad for you both, however it happened. You guys deserve all the happiness you can grab, for as long as you’re fortunate to have it. Don’t let what happened to Michelle scare you off marriage and kids. Let it remind you to make the most of every day.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The door to Kamran’s room was closed, but Kensi could hear the beeps and chirps of what sounded like a video game. When she knocked, the noises went silent and seconds later, Kamran said, “Come in.”

When Kensi did, she found Sam’s daughter sitting cross-legged on the floor, her back against the bed. Her phone was face-down on the carpet beside her, and Kensi assumed that was what she’d been playing with.

“Hey, Kam,” Kensi said.

“Hi Kensi.” Kamran’s voice was unsurprisingly sad.

“Can I sit?” When she nodded, Kensi sat down next to her and mirrored her position. Kensi said quietly, “I’m not going to ask you how you are, because it’s a stupid question.” That got the girl’s attention. “But I will ask what kind of day you’re having. An okay day, a bad one, even horrible? It’s way too soon for a good day, so don’t even think about saying that.”

Kamran shrugged. “A bad day, I guess. Pretty much like all of them.”

“Yeah,” Kensi commiserated. “Listen Kam, I just want to let you know that I get it.” When the tween looked up questioningly, Kensi continued, “My dad died when I was fifteen. He was murdered too.”

“I’m sorry,” Kamran said with sincerity for Kensi’s loss. “But it’s not really the same thing. This was my mom.”

“No, it’s not the same thing. I don’t think any two people’s grief ever is. But I was a real tom-boy when I was a kid, and I was much closer to my dad than my mom growing up. He was my best friend.”

“What happened to the person who killed him?”

“It took me a very long time to find him. But I did, and he’s dead now.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No, but I wanted to.”

“My dad said the same thing. And that what’s important is that he can’t hurt us anymore.”

“But that’s not exactly true, is it? He took your mom away from you, and that will hurt forever.”

“Does it ever get better?”

“It does, eventually. For me, the first two years were the hardest, because everything reminded me of my dad, and sometimes just thinking about him was like a punch to the gut. I can’t tell you how many times I thought, I have to remember to tell Dad that, only to have it hit me that he was gone.”

The tears started down Kamran’s cheeks, “I go to look for my mom or text her about ten times a day! And I get so mad, because it’s like, how could I forget that she’s dead, you know? But it’s not that I forget, it’s just not right in the front of my head for a second or two, and then when it comes back it hurts all over again.”

“I know, sweetie, and I’m so sorry,” Kensi pulled Kamran into her arms, and the girl came willingly. She cried freely, while Kensi held her and rubbed her back.

When Kamran’s tears started to ease, Kensi said, “One day it didn’t hurt as much to think about him. I like talking about my dad now, sharing happy memories of him. But to this day, almost twenty years later, sometimes I still miss him so much I want to cry.”

“Like when?” Kamran asked as she pulled out of Kensi’s embrace and wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeves.

“Mostly the big events in my life. When I joined NCIS I desperately wanted to be able to tell him and see the look on his face, to know that he was proud of me. My biggest regret right now is that he never got to meet Deeks.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “Your dad may or may not know this by now, but Deeks and I got engaged a little while ago. That night in the shower, I blubbered like a baby because I couldn’t tell my father. When we get married, I know it’ll be impossible to think of him and not cry. When we have a baby of our own, I’ll be sad that he’s not there to meet his grandchild.” Kensi’s eyes were watering now too. “It gets easier, but I’m not sure it ever goes away. And honestly, I wouldn’t want it to.”

Kamran nodded. They sat quietly for a minute or two, each lost in her own thoughts. Kensi finally asked, “What things do you admire most about your mother, Kam?”

The girl’s face lit up in a smile even as the tears began again, “She was the best mom, and she always helped me with my homework until she knew I could do it by myself. She was beautiful. And so smart and brave, and she gave the best hugs and cuddles.”

“Those are the things you’re going to remember forever, and they’ll always make you happy to think about. I don’t know what kind of hugs and cuddle she gave, but I can believe that she was an incredible mother for those reasons and a million others. And I agree, she was beautiful, smart, and brave.” Kensi paused. Looking at the sad young lady, she decided Kamran probably needed to hear this right now, more than much else Kensi could tell her. “You take after her, you know. You’re beautiful, smart, and brave too.”

Kamran looked down, embarrassed by the compliment, or perhaps surprised by the comparison to her mother. “Mom always told me how smart I am, but I don’t know about beautiful, and I’m not brave at all!”

“Well I’m not going to try to convince you that you’re beautiful, since it won’t work anyway. But I will tell you to think about your mother, father, and brother, objectively if you can. They are some fine-looking people, and if you ever tell your dad I said that, he’ll never let me live it down,” Kensi chuckled. “And then think about how unlikely it is that you’re not just as beautiful too.”

The shy smile on Kamran’s face was enough to convince Kensi she’d said the right thing, but would leave it at that. “And as for brave, I know you are, and I know that because your mom told me.”

“Really?” Kamran’s voice and face were full of wonder now.

“Remember that Christmas Deeks and I were here with our moms? Your mom and I spent some time chatting, and she told me that you had just announced an interest in attending Keating. She was so proud of you and awed by how much courage it took for a young girl to even think about leaving home to go to a military academy.”

“She said she was impressed with me,” Kamran whispered.

“She really was, honey. I’m sure there are plenty of people who can tell you what your mom thought or felt about you, and anything else you want to know.” Kensi tapped Kam’s hand with a finger. “That always made me feel good: hearing about my dad from other people who knew him.” Kensi stopped again, debating if she should say what had just popped into her mind. “Would you like me to tell you the story of how your mother saved my life?”

“She saved your life? My dad says you can kick anyone’s ass –“ Kamran stopped abruptly, realizing she just cursed to an adult.

Kensi laughed lightly, “Don’t worry about it. I won’t tell your dad about that lapse in language if you won’t tell him about mine. Your mom kicked some serious ass herself. And on that particular day, she saved her own life and mine…” Kensi shared a less dramatic version of how Michelle Hanna pulled herself up from dangling thirty floors above the ground and then took out the Barbie who was about to grab the gun she and Kensi were both scrambling for. “Your mother was an amazing woman, Kam, and you should always remember and be proud of that.”

“I will,” Kamran said, still somewhat amazed by what she’d just heard.

“Good,” Kensi took the pre-teen’s hand in her own. “I need to tell you one more thing and then I’ll leave you alone if you want.”

“Do you have to go?”

“Not if you don’t want me to, no. We can keep talking about your mom, or about anything but your mom, or nothing at all, but I’ll give you the choice, okay?”

Kamran nodded and Kensi blew out a quick breath. “You and I are members of a club no one wants to be in. We know what it’s like to lose a parent at a young age. But you were right before when you said that it was different because it was your mom. Even though I was closer to my father than my mother, there’s still something about a mother-daughter relationship that’s special, isn’t there?”

“Yeah, Mom and I fangirled over some of the same cute actors. Can’t do that with my father. Or Aiden,” she wrinkled her nose at the thought.

“That would just be weird,” Kensi agreed. “My parents divorced the year before I lost my father, and I chose to live with my dad. But after he died I refused to live with my mother, even though she was all I had left.”

“Who did you stay with?”

“How about if we save that story for another time?” Kensi suggested. “But let’s just say that when my father died, I basically lost both of my parents. And even though I was a tomboy who idolized my father, by the time I was older and dating, or falling in love for the first time, and things like that, I really wished I had my mom around to talk to.”

“I was thinking about that the other day,” Kamran’s voice cracked as she held back tears.

“Your father, and I’m sure your brother, are willing to do anything and answer any question for you, and you may have to rely on them for some of the things that you would have done with your mom. Like buying a dress for the winter formal or teaching you how to drive.”

Kamran rolled her eyes, “Dad had no patience teaching Aiden to drive. I’ll probably ask Aiden or Uncle Callen.”

Kensi smiled, knowing Sam would never allow her to teach his daughter that particular skill. “But there may be some things that they can’t do because you’re a twelve-year-old young woman and they’re guys who just don’t get it or really won’t know. I know you have an aunt in San Francisco and your grandmothers, and I’m sure they’ve already offered this as well. But I’m closer than they are when you’re at home, and if you need help with something that you’re not comfortable going to your dad with, and the women in your family are too far away, I want you to know that you can come to me, okay?”

Kamran was happily surprised. “Thanks, Kensi.”

“I mean it, Kam. Any time, day or night. Deeks and I are used to being woken up at all sorts of crazy hours, so don’t ever worry about that.”

“Okay, I promise.” This time it was Kamran who initiated the hug. Kensi could feel the girl’s hold tighten just as Kamran blurted, “Wait a minute, did you say you and Deeks are engaged?”

At Kamran’s suggestion, they spent a while talking about the proposal – Kensi not mentioning exactly where and when she asked Deeks to marry her – and ideas for the wedding. Hoping Sam wouldn’t mind, Kensi finished their conversation by asking Kamran to be her junior bridesmaid, a decision made on impulse, but one she guessed was right judging by the excitement on the pre-teen’s face.

“You can go if you need to,” Kamran offered soon after the wedding talk wound down.

“You’re sure?” Kensi asked. There was plenty more she wanted to share with the girl. Words of experience, if not wisdom, about it being okay to cry and not be embarrassed, or laugh and not feel guilty. But they’d just spent an emotionally charged hour or so together, and Kensi didn’t want to overdo it. She would just have to make sure to do this again a few more times over the summer if Kamran was open to it.

“Yeah. I’ll text you if I need anything,” she said.

“Maybe we can make plans to grab ice cream some night next week, or lunch over the weekend if you want. Do you like to bike or surf? We can do that too if you’d rather. We could talk about your mom and how things are going, or not. Whichever you’re in the mood for.”

“I’d like that,” Kamran said.

Kensi smiled. “Me too. Is it okay if I check in with you a couple of times a week, ask what kind of day you’re having?”

“Okay, bad, or horrible?”

“Yeah.”

Kamran nodded in agreement then asked in a small, unsure voice, “When will they start to get good again, Kensi?”

Kensi let out a sad sigh, “I wish I knew, honey. But that’s different for everybody. What I can tell you is that you’ve got a lot of people who love you and want those good days for you. They’ll help you get them back. And I know your mom would want not only plenty of good days, but lots of great and incredible days for you too.”

“Dad says she’ll be watching over us, so maybe she’ll send some of those days our way.”

Kensi smiled, “I bet she will.”

~~~~~~~~~~

As they pulled away from the curb in front of the Hanna house, Kensi asked, “So how was it with Sam?”

“He wasn’t very talkative, and I didn’t push. But we cleaned every gun in his arsenal. And I hooked Aiden up with Earnestine, so now he’s got a place to do his required community service for the summer.”

“That’s a match made in heaven.”

“I thought so. How’s Kam?”

“Hurting. Missing her mom. Pretty much what you’d expect. But she seemed receptive to me, and I’ll be checking in on her periodically to see how she’s coming along. I think I’ll try to take her out somewhere once a week if I can. She was really excited about the wedding. Oh, and she’s going to be our junior bridesmaid.”

“Great. Except I didn’t know we were having one.”

“Well, we are now.”

Deeks took Kensi’s hand and kissed it. “That’s awesome, then. It sounds like you two really connected. I wish I could say the same for me and Sam”

“Kids tend to be more open in general, I think. And except with Callen, Sam’s never been a Chatty Cathy, so you had the tougher job of the two of us by far. I was really worried about him when we first got there.”

“Me too.”

“Do we still have reason to be?”

Deeks let out a long sigh. “I think so, yeah. The only thing that got any real response from him was when I asked about the kids. Honestly, I don’t know how he’s going to handle it once they’re both at Keating.”

“Coming back to work will be a good distraction after Aiden and Kam leave,” Kensi assured him.

“He’s plenty distracted now, Kens. After today I’m wondering if he’ll even want to come back,” Deeks admitted.

Kensi shrugged, “Maybe he needs to find something else to do, then. He left the SEALs to join NCIS. He might decide he wants to be out of the field altogether, especially after Michelle.”

Deeks looked at her, unconvinced. “To do what, clean his weapon collection all day long?”

“He’s all Aiden and Kamran have left, Deeks. Maybe Sam’s should focus on staying alive long enough to watch Aiden and Kamran get married and have kids of their own one day. We’re planning to find another line of work when we have children, it’s really no different.”

“Except that we’ll be leaving to move onto another chapter in our lives. I’m afraid that if Sam does it, he’d be closing the book entirely. I don’t know if it’s because they’re more resilient or because they have each other and Sam to lean on, but the kids seem to be doing much better than their father right now, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon unless something’s done about it.”

“If that’s the case, I think you should tell Callen about today, let him know what’s going on. If Sam will respond to anyone, it’ll be him.”

“I hope you’re right,” Deeks said.

“They’re partners. And about as close as two people in our line of work can be without being married,” Kensi stated with confidence.

“Callen’s going to have his work cut out for him. Maybe Nate can drop into the country for a visit.”

“That’s a good idea. But it won’t just be Callen and Nate, babe. You understand what Sam’s going through. Maybe not to the same degree, but you’re the only other person on the team who’s experienced anything close to losing a wife. Nate and Callen can’t say that. I think in the end we’ll all have a role to play in Sam’s healing.”

Deeks nodded. “You’re right. We’re family. This is what we do.”

by - @psyched1328

#2k17 ncisla fic exchange

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skold · 7 years

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this post is Marina’s List Of Favorite and/or Iconic Music Videos

this could also be subtitled as: if you truly want to understand me as a person, watch these videos because it’ll answer a lot of questions

it’s gonna be a long one so i’ll pop it under a cut

alright we goin by artist then chronological

AIDEN

knife blood nightmare - this is iconic for me simply bc i rly wanted to look like wil in this video so bad in 6th grade.

die romantic - WHAT A BOP. i used to do my black eyeshadow like wil in this video too lmao

ALL TIME LOW

poppin champagne - because blonde alex and also?? honestly?? what a wild video. this is truly late 00s oversaturated pop punk at its finest

i feel like dancin - i’m not the biggest fan of this record or even this song in general but this is like, quintessential all time low to me video-wise. like. it’s everything i want from an all time low video.

ARCHITECTS

follow the water - or as sam carter says, follow the wah-uh. first of all i love that this is in a church. second of all when will i get to go to an architects show this lit here in the states

heartburn - bc they all look pretty. ok. aesthetically on point as well.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

beast and the harlot - i don’t always bop this song but when i do, the whole cul de sac does too. no but really this was so influential to middle school me i wanted nothing more than a boyfriend who looked like zacky or jimmy and whatever eyeshadows zacky was wearing in this clip

BLINK 182

i miss you - the video that inspired this post. THE AESTHETIQUE. 20′s inspired romantigoth film noir. i don’t yell about this music video enough.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

chelsea smile - it’s literally just a house part video but the song literally defines the year 2009 for me. emetophobia warning at 1:08

it never ends - this video got mad shit but i love it. pretty heavy gore throughout this video

alligator blood - CREEPY ASS AESTHETIC SHIT!!!! i live for it. 16 y/o me had it so bad for matt nicholls and him getting tied up and violated was like, god tier for me

visions - more creepy aesthetic shit. the videos on there is a hell were underrated

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

hey john what’s your name again? - i gotta throw this one in just bc this hurls my ass right back to the year 2008. that bible imagery. those haircuts. it was a better time for music

html rules d00d - THIS SONG STILL SLAPS LMAO DON’T READ ME

ELISSA FRANCESCHI

salt - i’m not crying you’re crying!!! how did anne and christian franceschi manage to spawn two flawless and talented siblings!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I DIE

ebolarama - it’s a performance video in a roller rink what more could you want

wanderlust - you’ve probably caught on to the fact that i love creepy aesthetic shit.

decayin with the boys - THIS VIDEO HAS ME HOWLING. there are too many good moments to list here but the personal highlight is the dude admiring the lesbians making out, then he turns and admires they gays making out at about the 1:30 mark. also the jenga dream sequence. there’s a dick in this video, just a heads up. and a whole bootyass. i love andy williams. mild emetophobia tw at 2:30

FOXY SHAZAM

a dangerous man - eric nally’s screeching was the soundtrack of 2008

i like it - the chorus of this song is literally just “that’s the biggest black ass i’ve ever seen and i like it” and i have nothing more to say

holy touch - it’s a performance video but it’s. different. i really don’t wanna ruin this by saying too much about it. that’s just kinda how foxy shazam were. this song is a fucking banger. yes, they did have a trumpet player in the official lineup.

FRNKIERO ANDTHE CELLABRATION

joyriding - another performance video that’s. different. lmao. aesthetically perfect

GOOD CHARLOTTE

lifestyles of the rich and famous - the proletariat banger we weren’t ready for in 2002, but we’re ready now.

girls and boys - old people being punk rock. that’s all.

predictable - i SPECIFICALLY remember watching this on the good charlotte website the day this dropped. THE EARLY 2000S BAD CG IS REAL. i was literally ten years old but i somehow Felt every word of that spoken bridge, man. WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GIVES JOEL THE ROSE AND IT TURNS BLACK i deadass thought that was so fucking dope y’all

i just wanna live - ignoring the irony of joel whining about being famous, this video had THE MEMES.

GREEN DAY

longview - iconic simply by virtue of being their first video.

when i come around - ask me about my favorite songs of All Time and i’ll probably mention this one. it’s still great nowadays. i love all the shots of berkeley.

brain stew/jaded - this is such a great piece of art lmao the fucking. sludgy feeling of brain stew going into the chaos of jaded is great on the record, but even better in video form going from being stoned in sepia to tripping acid in an oversaturated cluttered space

walking contradiction - comedy gold

hitchin a ride - creepy weirdness and an iconic bassline. also mike dirnt looks fine as hell in this video

minority - i’m running out of ways to explain that a video is iconic to me purely bc of how important the song was to me at a given time lmao.

american idiot - is there anything i can truly say about this video? it was perfect in 2004, it’s perfect in 2017. uncomfortably relevant. epilepsy warning for strobe lighting effects in the second half

holiday - technically this was released before blvd, but since it chronologically precedes blvd in the story, i’m putting it first. this is like 90% here for the bridge section y’all. fucking iconic. i wore a fedora on the first day of sixth grade bc tre cool wore one in this video. not my proudest fashion moment. emetophobia warning at 1:56 but them playing EVERY character in the bar scene is perfection

boulevard of broken dreams - ah yes, 2005′s most overplayed song. i could not escape this song. every time the intro started everyone would just look at me bc i was The Green Day Chick. this video is aesthetically perfect though. shout out to mike dirnt’s jawline in profile

HOZIER

work song - first of all, this song makes me cry. second of all, the video is dreamy as fuck. it gives me irl chills. i love the choreography so much. the whole vibe is very modern southern gothic. and it’s incredibly intimate feeling without being... sexual or vulgar, i guess.

IN THIS MOMENT

adrenalize - first of all i’m gay. second of all i’m gay. this video is decidedly nsfw

whore - aesthetically pleasing. chris motionless being subby is the real highlight here

sick like me - again, it’s here for the aesthetic.

big bad wolf - also aesthetic but THIS MAKEUP LOOK. maria’s makeup look in this video is actually literally my aesthetic goal. epilepsy warning for strobe light effects

sex metal barbie - say it with me: aesthetic. i also love this one bc the lyrics are largely lifted from people talking shit about maria on the internet, shaming her for being a woman with sexuality and agency, so fuck yes i support it. mild body horror warning for this one

JOHN 5

making monsters - john’s videos are mostly performance based but this one is so cute lmao. where do i cop a j5 action figure

LADY GAGA

paparazzi - i’m only including the RLY vital gaga videos here and the full version of paparazzi is her best work imo......

bad romance - .......but bad romance is a close second.

telephone - i can’t not include this one though. the collab of the decade.

LINKIN PARK

one step closer - i think this was the first linkin park video i saw Back In The Day......... it was 2 heavy 4 baby me at the time lmao but nowadays it’s one of my fave lp songs. the video is super corny let’s be real but it was 2000

numb - this song is so fucking emo but i love it. the video is like peak emo too. i swear the main girl in this video was like my fashion icon at the time. layered tank tops, ripped loose jeans, oversized hoodies and jackets. i wanted her hair so bad lmao

what i’ve done - this video is really visually solid. i thought this was like the Deepest Shit in middle school lmao

MARILYN MANSON

sweet dreams (are made of this) - THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY!!! god i have no complaints about this video except that twiggy is in it. visual fx?? dope. wardrobe?? dope. location?? dope. manson in the wedding dress?? dope. unsanitary warning for the later half of the video bc manson gets pooped on by birds lmao

tourniquet - one of my fave vocal performances by manson tbh. i prefer this one of the two videos floria did w/ manson.

long hard road out of hell - femme manson and religious imagery need i elaborate

the dope show - the first manson video i ever saw. i was... so creeped out lmao. LOOKS ON LOOKS ON LOOKS. john 5 lookin like a snack in this one

i don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me) - this is probably the most heavy-handed manson has ever been with the christ allegory lmao and yet......... i love it. also shout out to manson and rose’s dogs bug and uncle fester for guest starring. body horror tw here

coma white - basically a flawless music video i have nothing to say here that isn’t already said by the video itself

disposable teens - everybody looks great in this one except twiggy fuck twiggy. i actually love the mtv version of this video too, which is all performance, but i can’t seem to find it rn??

the fight song - one of my fave manson looks. those boooooots tho. the gloooovessssss. i’m gross let me live

tainted love - sorry to send y’all to vimeo for this one but i couldn’t find one on youtube that didn’t look like it was filmed with a potato or watermarked. y’all slept on the genius of this video tbh

mobscene - hello it is me gaogfucker666.

this is the new shit - still me, gaogfucker666. this video feels misinterpreted too honestly

(s)AINT (director’s cut) - specifically the director’s cut bc more tim skold in a dress and boots smoking a cigarette. this video is seriously fucking nsfw. needles, drugs, sexual content, vomit etc watch with caution pls

personal jesus - i love this glam rock look so much. tim looks so good in this he never wore the look again bc he knew he looked so good we could never handle it a second time.

putting holes in happiness - I CAN’T FIND the extended version with tim’s full solo and i wanna scream. but. here’s the official version

say10 (short) - i really fucking wish he’d compounded off this for the official say10 video, beheaded orange man or not. just the verse. it’s so good. moody and creepy and AHHH.

we know where you fucking live - heed the warning at the beginning lmao. i honestly loved this video. i know some people thought it was edgy but i rly rly don’t see that. it’s offensive and obscene yeah but it doesn’t have that edgelord feel, as much as i love to call him an edgelord.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

reincarnate - old school horror vibes!!! as a Humble Fetishist of Boots and Gloves, this is a great video. also this is one of those songs where i Feel the lyrics for real

eternally yours - THE COLORS!!! THE FUCKIN IN A COFFIN!!!! i have nothing more to say

MOTLEY CRUE

looks that kill - please watch this corny ass fuckin 1983 ass hair metal ass music video. please. i’m tryna add more shout at the devil era nikki sixx vibes to my wardrobe tbh

wild side - i love a late 80s arena performance video ok also where do i cop nikki’s shirt

dr. feelgood - i will always credit this as one of the songs that made me want to play bass tbh

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

vampires will never hurt you - too emo to view with the naked eye.

i’m not okay (i promise) - the video that spawned a million high school AUs. god i love this one. even watching without the nostalgia goggles it’s great.

helena - perhaps my favorite music video of all time? if not then top 3. this video still remains my ideal aesthetic 12 years later. HOW I’M TRYNA BE. i just wanna look like an extra in this video, okay.

the ghost of you - time to cry!!!!! emetophobia warning at 0:47

welcome to the black parade - it’s hard for me to talk about these videos bc they’re so universally iconic that to explain why i love them so much would be mostly redundant.

famous last words - see above. this song means the world to me

desolation row - if i had to pick a video other than helena to look like an extra in i’d pick this one. has gerard ever looked this good, before or after this video?? peak.

NINE INCH NAILS

down in it - these are getting linked to vimeo since the official nin account has them all uploaded there in better quality. anyway i love so many of the shots in this video and i love the colors and i love bab trent

head like a hole - SO dated y’all but bab trent leveled up and became baby dread trent.

happiness in slavery - this is seriously graphic. but it’s great. also where’s the extended version that shows trent getting eaten by the weird carnivorous robot

gave up - bABY BRIAN!! infants, y’all. INFANTS.

march of the pigs - it’s a one-take performance video but it’s...... so much more than that. this video hurts me in my hand/glove kink.

closer - this is in the top 3 with helena honestly. it is... a piece of art film before all else. a Must Watch.

burn - another case of a video being important to me because of the song it’s for tbh.

the perfect drug - marc romanek is a GOD. also a piece of art film honestly. just y’all wait till i make my dnd character based on trent in this video lmao

starfuckers, inc - hm, another nin video that trent invited manson to be in. interesting. all memes aside it’s a great video even as much as i hate the use of the “fat = ugly” trope. epilepsy warning for flashing effects in the last part of the video

deep - why. are. y’all. SLEEPING ON THIS!!!!

only - this may have been the first nin video i willingly saw and recognized as nin. this video still holds up, especially with it being 95% cgi and still looking as good as it does.

ROB ZOMBIE

living dead girl - the theme song of my life??? iconic couple costume idea????

meet the creeper - i have to include this video because it’s BAD. it’s terrible and i fucking love it

american witch (live version) - WHEN ROB PICKS UP JOHN AND STARTS SPINNING HIM AROUND!!!! this is here specifically for all the long hair john content

dead city radio and the new gods of supertown - the aesthetic. everybody looks great. matt is in a gorilla suit

well everybody’s fucking in a ufo - highly nsfw. where do i begin with this fucking hot mess...... sheri’s huge fake boobs. john and matt and ginger as astronauts. john jerkin off. the aliens with dicks. the fact that the whole story is about getting gang banged by aliens???? nothing will ever reach this level

SKOLD

self titled promotional clip - epilepsy warning for a lot of flashing and smash cuts. sort of a few partial music videos in one, but there are only two official skold videos, so i gotta include both of them. the quality is garbage. it’s so incredibly 1996. yet i love it. the last song, anything, is pretty nsfw as in there’s actual femdom porn clips but this is why i love it.

better the devil - if there were more skold videos i’d put them here. but as i said there are only two. tim out there lookin like not just a snack but a full course meal in 4k quality. goddamn. the only man i can ever truly call d*ddy. tiffany and eli lookin like delicious side dishes as well.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

you’re so last summer - flava flave is in it

this photograph is proof - this song makes me so fucking nostalgic............. it transports me right back to eighth grade lmao. tbs were one of my fave bands in middle school.

makedamnsure - the most emo song of all time?? side note regarding tbs: real talk, being fat in middle school, seeing another fat person in a band was so fucking reassuring and great. i love eddie.

liar (it takes one to know one) - these visual effects are SO cool, even now.

YOU ME AT SIX

jealous minds think alike - ART... no but actually look at these literal fetuses. i fucking love this song. it’s probably my fave track on take off your colours.

kiss and tell - you right it’s another house party video BUT. baby josh with an undercut. he must be 18 or barely 19 here??

liquid confidence - WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

stay with me - jkfljkghdfskljgs okay serious time: this song got me through a seriously rough part of my life and i have the title tattooed on me partially because of the video.

loverboy - i have never seen a fandom in such utter chaos as the ymas fandom was on the day this video dropped. holy fucking shit. the THIRST was REAL.

bite my tongue - peak ymas captured in one music video. that’s truly the most important part. that peak sns era ymas was preserved forever in this video.

lived a lie - is it bad if i still kinda want a “we are believers” tattoo lmao. i really....... love this song a lot. is it obvious by now that ymas love a big chorus lmao

give - this song gives me The Feels. it deserved better than a performance video in an empty arena but it’s all we got, so here it is.

#well this took for fucking ever #and will probably get no notes bc it's a personal post #which is fine but #i hope y'all appreciated my commentary anyway lmao #do not lose #i will likely update this as my faves continue to release gr8 videos

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sharktofu · 7 years

Text

Trust Fall - NCIS LA fanfiction

AO3 link: Trust Fall by Sashaya.

Story dedicated to Z., who is the best and who started me on the whole ‘aftermath’ stories. Hope I didn’t fuck up!

A little backstory on this 'gem' - I started writing it immediately after I saw "Payback", because I didn't believe the show would really show the aftermath of all the shit that went on for Callen and the team.

It came out differently than I expected, because life got in the way - and by that, I mean that my personal feelings and experience with my job and my boss made their way into this story. It's one of the many reasons why I'm posting it just now.

I hope you’ll all enjoy it, despite the (massive) delay.

G. out!

Movies lie – there’s no storm, after storm, after storm. No never-ending cycle of pain and destruction, and sadness. After storm, there’s a moment of complete silence, a moment when you sit down and think ‘I survived, somehow’. The vicious cycle of unfair life is always broken by a sunbeam of hope. Then there’s time of chaos, an aftermath. It’s always the worst - the time to pick up the pieces and decide, what's next.

And this time, Callen cannot let others decide. He's past being passive in his own life.

G. takes his own car; tells Sam something about how even married couples need space, that Sam doesn't believe one bit. The "We'll talk later" hangs between them. Callen is okay with that.

Everyone at work is tired, downright exhausted. It's evident in hesitant nods of 'Hello', distrustful side-eyes. This... mission took a toll on them, more than anything before.

Even his team doesn't hide how much it cost them. Kensi is absent-mindedly disorganizing the chaos on her desk, taking a bite from a chocolate bar from time to time. Sam is watching her carefully, his eyebrows raising higher and higher every time Kensi notices she her desk looks almost tidy. Deeks is actively napping, head leaned on the chair in a position that most would call uncomfortable. Callen sees him open his eyes for a second, when he greets everyone.

"You're late," Sam says.

Callen shrugs, "I had some cleaning up to do".

He doesn't need to say he spent the whole night throwing away everything that reminded him of Joelle. He doesn't say how little he has, again.

Sam knows.

It doesn't take long for the aftermath to really hit him.

Hetty graces them with her presence, instead of making whichever low-level employee do her bidding for her. After everything, it raises a lot of red flags.

"Mr. Callen," she says his name with a warm familiarity that he doesn't trust anymore. "In the face of recent events, all employees are required to few sessions with our psychologist. We decided for you to go first"

"Our psychologist?" Sam repeats.

"Dr Getz, of course" Hetty clears up.

Callen hasn't expected anyone else, but he still tenses up. Everyone notices the change in his posture, but he ignores it and follows Hetty silently.

She leads him to Nate's temporary office and closes the door behind him. It’s difficult to admit, but he feels like a caged animal. It's not only his training that makes him locate all the possible exits. He's not tech-savvy, but even someone as old-school as him would notice the obvious camera in the corner. He doubts it's the only way to monitor this session.

"First, I just want to say how happy I am seeing you today, after everything," Nate smiles at him. It's a poor way of not-saying 'there were concerns about your loyalty to the agency'.

"Pleased to please you," Callen barely stops himself from sneering. Thought, he does smile with too much teeth and Nate reacts to that with a visible twitch.

“I know we already talked about your trust issues, but given recent developments I think it's safe to say, we need to revisit them again,” Nate continues.

It's a bit too much. It all sounds like a very bad joke and G.'s past being the collateral in all the 'well-thought' plans. He throws his head back and laughs. It's short and cold, a purposefully bad imitation of joy.

“No offence, Nate," Callen says, but he means full offence, full insult. “But you’re one of the reasons why I have trust issues.”

Nate flinches away, a minor tick that he deliberately doesn’t cover up. It makes Callen regret his words, but only a little. It’s not enough to take them back.

“I understand…," Nate tries to speak again, but Callen never lets him finish.

G. stands up and Nate recoils automatically, maybe in fear, most likely very aware of his actions. It looks like he's afraid that Callen could attack him and G. tries not to think how easily it would be to overpower Nate.

"It's time to change my therapist," Callen decides in a firm voice that leaves no place for arguments.

Nate is smart, he knows when to give up and so he doesn't try to change Callen's mind. G.'s not sure if it's another of his strategies or he simply wants to help. He doesn't care and simply leaves.

He's getting some resemblance of control back.

He's not at all surprised to see Hetty by the door. Though, he is shocked how easily she let go of the appearance of a happy family.

“Mr. Callen, explain your behavior, please!”

"Why, Hetty! You shouldn't monitor private sessions so blatantly!" He's shameless in how much he raises his voice. It doesn't stop Hetty; she's not easy, but Callen's feeling petty today.

“I’m requesting a day-off. I’m sure I have a lot of them saved up," he adds. “I’ll call when I'm coming back!”

He feels a bit lighter, leaving Hetty behind and for the first time not caring about that. His team throws him worried looks - even Deeks, who stopped napping and is now smiling cheekily. He nods to them, hoping to reassure them.

“Call you later!” Sam shouts, and it sounds both like a threat and a promise. He's already expecting a visit from his friend.

He chuckles to himself, when he hears Kensi's voice in the background announcing that she should take it easy after all and she's going home for now. Immediately after, he hears Sam and Deeks making excuses.

He doubts anyone will stop them.

Callen doesn’t feel like going home, doesn't feel like throwing away more stuff that reminds him of a lie. He wonders if that’s how his 'victims' fell or it helped that he just disappeared without a word.

He has half a mind to sell his house and find a new hole to exist in. Too many people know where he lives now. It's an uncomfortable thought, one that almost turns him in a wild animal, while his instincts cry for him to hide.

At the same time, he doesn't want to lose this place. It was home - before, when he was a kid and later, when he found it again. He's not sure he's ready to let go.

He decides to put it off for now. He should get a new therapist, so he'll have at least one thing to talk about. He should ask for recommendations - maybe Michelle or someone from the DC branch.

Right now, he’s just gonna drive. It's not like he has somewhere to be.

Callen turns the radio on, to have something more than just his thoughts to accompany him. He knows the song that’s on, so it's easy for him to get lost in it. He parks not far away from his favorite chicken wings spot, already thinking where he's going to spend his lunch.

The walk on the beach is soothing. Callen thinks about the past… year? It feels longer. He thinks about Sam getting more solo cases, the mole, Nate’s not-betrayal, Joelle.

When he thinks it all through, his trust issues are really ‘last season’.

His trust and privacy has been violated so many times, there’s always going to be a lingering thought in the back of his head ‘what if'. He will always feel the need to look over his shoulder.

Hetty played one too many games, but she's not paying the price, is she?

'It's not her fault,' Callen thinks, when he sits down on the bench. 'But that's... a disturbing amount of head-games.'

He itches for a cigarette, which is a sudden thought. He hasn't had a smoke since he was a teen.

His work, that he sacrificed his life for times and times again, feels tainted now. He never claimed it was pure, but it was… ‘safer’, for the lack of better word. Sure, it's a job for ‘the greater good’ but after some time, this excuse isn’t enough. Safety is. Safety within the job.

He can’t say it anymore, can he?

Though, it's not like he has a lot career options. What else can he do? CIA is both his past and not a possibility, for so many reasons; FBI doesn’t fit his line of work and his experience.

There’s always long-term cover missions - which he's done so many times before, sometimes it's a wonder he remembers, who he really is - or a job in another cell. Washington, maybe?

Callen’s musings are interrupted, when his cell starts ringing. His experience doesn't let him ignore it and he glances at the phone.

Ana.

Callen groans and ignores the call.

Until he understands what her part in all of this is – and he knows she has one, the question is if Ana is aware of it – he’s going to take a step back from their ‘relationship’.

It won’t be fair to her, if she’s innocent. Isn't fair to him.

"Man, I can see your brain going into override. Give yourself a break with the whole thinking thing" Sam sits next to him. Callen would jump, if Sam didn't give him courtesy of being uncharacteristically loud.

"You're supposed to be nice to me, remember? Or do we need marriage counseling, again?" Callen aims for humor, but the joke falls flat. "What a shitshow."

"I hear you," Sam leans back. He looks straight at the horizon, like he expects to find some answers there. "What now?"

"Ha! That's the question, isn't it?" Callen sighs and his shoulders drop, like they cannot uphold more of his problems. "I don’t know."

"Are you coming back?" It's a loaded question.

"I don't know. You?"

Sam doesn't answer for a few minutes. "There's not much beside this."

Callen doesn't call him a liar, but they both know the truth. Sam is too loyal to his country to just leave this job. He loves it as much as he loves his family. He won't quit.

"You could teach," Callen suggests. "Embarrass Aiden with his old man as his instructor."

Sam laughs. "Only you could find that embarrassing."

"What can I say - my only references are movies," he says. "I might quit, Sam."

His partner hums in response, but doesn't comment. He doesn't seem shook by Callen's confession.

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. If you want, I won't stop you. Your choice, man," Sam stands up and faces Callen. "For now, Michelle is making dinner. Kam is expecting her Uncle Callen."

G. thinks about the chicken wings, but dismisses the thought. Nothing beats Michelle's home-cooked meal. It's not even a contest.

"Six?"

"On the clock," Sam heads towards the sidewalk. "See you later, G.!"

Callen chuckles. He does feel a bit better now. Despite what happened, he still has his family. No matter what, they won't abandon him.

It's a reassuring thought.

It doesn't make everything better, doesn't fix his life, but it makes it bearable.

It's enough for now, when he leans back and enjoys the sun and the sound of crashing waves.

He survived the storm, he will survive the aftermath.

It won't break him.

It will free him.

#ncis la #ncis la fanfiction #aftermath of betrayal #some light swearing #chrisodonline #sorry for the delay

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sheisunleashed-blog · 5 years

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Perplexed & in awe...He never left..

Now prepare yourself. Because my journey is not an easy one. It’s a blur and I need to take note before I forget. Because this journey is what grew me. This journey is what made me understand life, myself and who I am suppose to surround myself with and most importantly, this journey is what brought me back to yearning for God.

Every bit of truth & vulnerability is about to come out.

Let’s rewind.

It’s 6th October 2017 - . I posted a photo of instagram on this date writing “Slowly getting through this week..” Why? It’s because I broke up with Brandon earlier in the week (I believe it was a Monday).

What actually PAINS me is yet to come..

Before this Monday..I went out in the weekend with Katie and Tamsyn. It was such a fun night. I even dressed up my best....it was that night that Brandon was looking sad and said that I better not be a slut tonight because I am dressed like one? Now. Hold the front door - it still blows my mind to think I let his insecurities take hold of me like this. But this one sentence stuck with me ALL night.

But the attention i didn’t get from Brandon, the broken strength and persistence over the last year of trying to preserve and strengthen our relationship was one-sided, I was looking for something...and I found it. Through a boy named Aiden. He was Australian, good looking and he pursued me and i am not going to lie, i loved it. I loved having chats with him and he made me laugh which I hadn’t had in a very long time. I knew in my heard that I shouldn’t..but then I still let him add me on all my social medias.

Now rewind even further. I only met Aiden by showing him and his flat mate Chris a property for rent. He loved my personality and vibe he said. So he added me on facebook and straight away Brandon found out and deleted him. I thought that was the end. I didnt think anything of it because I wanted to stay faithful. But then he followed me on instagram and sent me funny messages, i started to like the attention.

I won’t get too much into it but rewinding back again, I was messaging Aiden that night us girls went out. One thing led to another and I ended up ditching the girls at like 3am to go to an apartment he was partying at with some mates. I rang him because I was drunk and walking, he came and picked me up, then we just chatted and went back to the party. I met his mates. They seemed nice. They even had some coke. Ugh - definitely not de-valuing myself I remember thinking. He was shocked I didn’t take anything.

We partied into the night at this apartment and had good yarns and laughs. It was so much fun. I remember he grabbed my ass and gave me hugs. It was nice to feel “wanted”. It was i think 5am when we left. we got in his car and he played Eminem and asked me if I liked him? TBH? I do. But did i know his songs? Not many..if any...

We got back to HIS apartment and he gave me some of his pyjama clothes which was nice. I knew deep down and in my gut I shouldn’t put myself in this situation and that I should leave. But I was drunk, I jumped in bed with him. We cuddled...we started kissing...and next minute we are having sex. I am on top of him riding my life away and then I said (which i cant believe I remember so distinctively) “I really shouldn’t be doing this..I never thought id cheat...but F** it feels so good”. He replied “I have wanted to have sex with you as soon as I meet you in that black ray white dress”... oh no...what had I done..

The following Sunday I had to make a lie to Tamsyn & Katie that couldn’t find me. I said I stayed at Mels in Evolution (Since it’s also close to Aidens). That was a lie. GREAT. Strike #2 in the sinbook. Aiden and I kept texting that day. I remember our friends Sam & Selina came over to watch the warriors play I think? or some sports game...I was just in bed hungover ALL dayyyy...Did i like it ? No..COuld i live with the guilt? Absolutely NOT. and then it was evident. I am fighting a losing battle. I am not going to repair a relationship when I am the only one willing to. I also can’t live with this guilt. I had to end it. and that was that.

Rewinding back even further. The monday had come - (Can i just clairfy this next part makes me SICK evening thinking back...and I don’t think it will stop till i say I moved in with Moz but bear with me,..)

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torentialtribute · 5 years

Text

County Championship 2019 season preview: Can Surrey defend their crown?

The biggest summer in English cricket history begins on Friday the county season begins seriously

Surrey will hope

Sportsmail view the runners and riders and choose some players from this summer …

<img id = "i-7a2c0fa38e1eca59" src = "https: //i.dailymail .co.uk / 1s / 2019/04/04/17 / 11865714-0-image-m-11_1554394347744.jpg "height =" 452 "width =" 634 "alt =" Surrey defends his 2018 County Championship crown on the Oval this season "Surrey defends his 2018 County Championship crown at the Oval this season"

Surrey will defend his 2018 County Championship crown at the Oval this season Oval this season

Derbyshire [1945SeaPlayers

Captain : Billy Godleman [(MiddlesexSeasonalLoan)MarkWatt(ScottishSeasonalLoan)

IN [Tomorrow9004] (Middlesex, seasonal loan), Logan van Beek (New Zealand), Kane Richardson Callum Brodrick (released), Hardus Viljoen (issued), Gary Wilson (central contract in Ireland)

] One to watch : Matt Critchley. A great season for the all-rounder, who scored more than 700 championship runs and took 32 wickets with his leg spider in 2018.

Durham

: Bancroft (Australia), D & # 39; Arcy Short Captain Performance Captain 19459005: Cameron Bancroft

(Leicestershire), Jack Burnham (back) of prohibition ECB), Ned Eckersley (Leicestershire)

Alex Lees (Yorkshire), Ben Raine (Leicestershire) One to watch : Jack Burnham. . The second chance for a post-drug suspension for a young player to fulfill the talent that saw him break the England record for runs in an Under-19 World Cup three years ago.

Captain : Ryan ten Doeschate (Australia), Adam Zampa (Australia, Twenty20)

: Cameron Delport (Leicestershire) Ashar Zaidi, Callum Taylor, Matt Dixon (all released)

One to watch : Sir Alastair Cook. Not much to prove, but much to give, the captain of the former England starts a three-year commitment to the county game.

<img id = "i-73c043e7c562499a" src = "https://ift.tt/2VlwQwF image-a-2_1554394007100.jpg "height =" 432 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-73c043e7c562499a" src = "https://ift.tt/2OCv8EB /04/17/11865734-0-image-a-2_1554394007100.jpg "height =" 432 "width =" 634 "alt =" Alastair Cook returns to the herd in Essex after calling time on his international career "

Alastair Cook returns to Essex after calling time on his international career

Overseas Player : Shaun Marsh (Australia)

: Aneurin Donald (Hampshire)

One to look at : Char lie Hemphrey. : Richard Dawson

Chief : Richard Dawson [SeaPlayers: Dan Worrall (Australia), Michael Klinger (Australia , Twenty20)

Captain : Chris Dent

One to view : Matt Taylor. Jack's younger brother, the fast fast bowler, has a chance to strengthen the attack leader in all sizes.

Head Coach Orian Player : Aiden Markram (South Africa)

UIT : Jimmy Adams, Sean Ervine (both retired), Calvin Dickinson, Asher Hart : Donald Glamorgan, Keith Barker (Warwickshire), James Fuller (Middlesex)

Reece Topley, Chris Sole (all released)

One to view : Vince.

Head coach Matthew Walker (19459005) Captain Bill : Sam Billings (Heino Kuhn replaces while Billings at IPL) Adam Milne (New Zealand, T20), Mohammad Nabi (Afghanistan, T20)

: Matt Milnes (Nottinghamshire) , Fred Klaassen UIT : Will Gidman, James Tredwell, Matt Hunn (all pensioners)

One to watch : Grant Stewart. A player who grew up in Australia and is impressed by both bat and ball in a short first-class career so far.

Overseas players : Joe Burns (Australia), James Faulkner (Australia, T20), Glenn Maxwell (Australia)

Captain : Dane Vilas

CC / T20 split)

: Richard Clark (Northamptonshire)

Simon Kerrigan, Karl Brown (both released)

One to look at : Haseeb Hameed.

Leicestershire

Overseas Player : Mohammad Abbas (Pakistan)

]

: Davis, (19459002)

One to view : Tom (19459005)

Taylor. Former Derbyshire sailor gets chances after the departure of Raine and Chappell

Head coach : Stuart Law

Overseas players : AB de Villiers (South Africa, T20), Mujeeb Ur Rahman (Afghanistan, T20)

Fuller (Hampshire), Nick Compton (retired), Ravi Patel ( released) : Toby Roland-Jones. The English international is fit again after missing 18 months of injury due to an injury.

Head coach : David Ripley

: Jason Holder (West Indies, April), Temba Bavuma (South) Africa, July 14 – 17, Faheem Ashraf (19459002)

: Ben Duckett (19459005) Nottinghamshire), Gleeson (Lancashire), Steven Crook (retired), Gareth Wade (released)

One to look at : Josh Cobb. Nottinghamshire

Head coach of the next best English cricket players in white ball formats and the 50-over competition starts in 14 days. (19459005) Captain James : Steven Mullaney

Overseas Players : James Pattinson Christian (Australia, T20)

IN : Joe Clarke (Worcestershire), Chappell (Leicestershire), Duckett (Northamptonshire), Slater (Derbyshire)

OUT One to view : Zak Chappell. : Milkins (Kent), Will Fraine (Yorkshire), Root (Glamorgan), Riki Wessels (Worcestershire), Ben Kitt Half of the 18 provinces expressed an interest in signing the towering naval power despite the return of the career of only 38 first-class wickets.

<img id = "i-9754296e1a0009b9" src = "https://ift.tt/2CXmqMR image-a-12_1554394433113.jpg "height =" 436 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-9754296e1a0009b9" src = "https://ift.tt/2OCv8EB /04/17/11865772-0-image-a-12_1554394433113.jpg "height =" 436 "width =" 634 "alt =" James Vince plans to open the battle for Hampshire because he remembers an angel in English "class =" blkBorder img-share "

James Vince goes to battle for Hampshire when he looks at a memory from England

Captain : Jason Kerr

]

: one of the most beautiful cities in the world, one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and one

Headmaster : Michael Di Venuto (19459005)

One to look at : Jamie Smith. Only 18 but already a first-class centurion, the newest wicket-keeper batsman of the Oval production line, can expect different numbers at number six from coming and going of Surrey & # 39; s English contingent.

Sussex Overseas Players : Mir Hamza

(Pakistan ), Rashid Khan (Afghanistan, T20)

: None :

One to look at : Jofra Archer. Who else but the most discussed uncontaminated player in the country. Each of its versions between an IPL period and the start of the World Cup will fall under the microscope. First coach : Jim Troughton

: Miles and Norwell (both Gloucestershire)

OUT : Barker (Hampshire), Josh Poysden (Yorkshire), Wright (Leicestershire), Grant Elliott, Jonathan Trott (both retired ), Boyd Rankin, Sunny Singh, Andy Umeed

One to view : Henry Brookes. First coach : Alex Gidman

Overseas players : Callum Ferguson (Australia), Martin Guptill (New Zealand, T20)

Captain : Joe Leach

[ClarenceEntereview: Pat Brown.

Main trainer Overseas player : None : ] Fraine (Nottinghamshire), Duanne Olivier (Kolpak), Poysden (Warwickshire)

OUT : Brooks (Somerset), Lees (Durham), Plunkett (Surrey) , Azeem Rafiq, James Wainman both released), Andrew Hodd (retired)

One to look at : Harry Brook.

Sportsmail Predictions

Athletes' Predictions

]

Duanne Olivier (Yorkshire) Sportsmail he wants to qualify for three years n period and play for England.

What it comes down to is, if the condition allows, that I should take a lot of wickets, but it is myopic in Yorkshire to sign the non-overseas and it would be a mockery of international cricket like England once considered him.

Ben Duckett (Nottinghamshire)

Nobody doubts his explosive talent, Bangladesh, but the question marks have always been about his attitude.

Now, slimmed down and with a new county in Notts specializing in proving England with players, Duckett starts the season with the slate clean, the name of Trevor Bayliss – checks him as a candidate during the winter to open the battle (19459005)

The newest exciting talent to get off the Surrey conveyor, Jacks exploded in public

consciousness with a extraordinary century of just 25 balls in a pre-season 10-over match against Lancashire in Dubai last month.

made his debut at 19 in all three formats during the winning season of Surrey & # 39; s Championship last year, while his off-spin marks him as a true all-rounder. Liam Livingstone (Lancashire)

Something of a false start as an England player but only lost his place in the Test team due to injury and remains a rare talent in white and red-ball cricket .

Highly regarded by the new Test batting coach Graham Thorpe and should be better for giving up the leader of Lancashire who seemed to influence his form last year.

Sportsmail & # 39; never say never & # 39; in February.

Essex has the significant advance of their knight that is available all season after they have confirmed that their international race is actually being carried out despite the telling.

What it boils down to is that he merely meant that he would make himself available again in an emergency because he would never be able to turn his back on his country. It will not happen. Instead, he has a smile on his face and will fill his boots in Chelmsford. Enjoy it as long as you can.

Source link

#County Championship 2019 season preview: Can Surrey defend their crown?"

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auburnfamilynews · 7 years

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Stove puts it just inside the pylon. (Sam Craft/Associated Press)

War Eagle everybody! It’s time now for the Acid Reign Report on Auburn’s 42-27 win in College Station, over Texas A&M. Hoping to get off to a fast start, Auburn instead struggled for much of the first half. Thanks to some chunk plays by Texas A&M, and a blocked Auburn field goal attempt, the Aggies were able to build a 13-7 lead. Auburn was unable to protect the quarterback, and it was looking like a bad loss might be coming. Auburn made a few substitutions on the offensive line, and changed the play calling strategy away from runs up the middle and long-yardage sacks. This resulted in a 2nd and 2 big bomb for a score just before the half, then Auburn aggressively used timeouts to force a punt, and blocked it for a touchdown. A 14 point swing just before the half was a blow, to Texas A&M. In the 3rd quarter, Auburn came out and punched the lead out to 35-13, and cruised to a 42-27 win.

I have to give the offensive brain trust credit for not accepting the first half performance, and changing things up. We claim to have depth on the offensive line, and moves were made to shore up leaky protection. Inside runs were being attacked, and the play calling shifted to well-blocked sweep plays. The book on quarterback Jarrett Stidham is that if a pass rush can move his feet, he is prone to bad throws or sacks. However, it’s an awful risk. When Auburn gets the protections settled, big gashing pass plays come out of it. Auburn has hit a number of sideline screens that turned into big plays, and Auburn also has receivers that can take the top off of a defense, if the safety is up on the line blitzing.

In the second half, the Auburn offensive line took it to Texas A&M. Coming back from injury, there were a number of issues up front. Auburn settled on a lineup of mostly healthy guys, and proceeded to shove the Aggies back. There was also nasty, tough play from Auburn’s H-backs and tight ends, and Kerryon Johnson ran like a man possessed. Johnson possesses a superb knack for making yards when nothing is there. He’s quick with a stiff-arm, a sidestep, a hurdle, or just brute power. He may not be the most explosive runner in the SEC, but he does look like the best all-around back in the league.

Defensively, there were some big plays given up. However, Auburn also forced 7 three-and-outs out of 15 Aggie possessions. It is important to remember that the Aggies have quite a collection of 4 and 5 star skill players, and it doesn’t take but one little misstep to set one of those guys loose for a big gain. Aside from one sort of wheel route completion to Christian Kirk, Auburn limited him to just underneath stuff. Traveon Williams is a back with game-breaking speed, and he had some big runs. However, the Aggies were never able to establish the running game as a consistent chain-mover.

Frankly, I find the defensive pressure stats baffling. Auburn seemed to be in the Aggie quarterbacks’ faces on most passing downs, but were only credited with 5 quarterback hurries and a sack. And this wasn’t just home bias. They showed the Aggies only getting 1 hurry, and 2 sacks on Jarrett Stidham. This was a way more harrowing game for quarterbacks, than these numbers show. Overall, Auburn held Texas A&M to 4.2 yards per carry, and 6.1 yards per pass. Those are decent, but not great numbers. On the day, Auburn was held to 4.4 yards per carry, but torched the Aggies for 9.9 yards per pass. If Auburn had not dropped about 5 passes, this could have been a monster passing day.

Auburn continues to have special teams issues, and it is particularly alarming for new ones to keep showing up, week to week. This week, Auburn had a pair of field goals blocked, and gave up a big 72 yard kick return after going up by 3 touchdowns. There was also a 25 yard punt out of bounds, but I’m not as worried about that. Auburn kicked toward the sideline every time, to keep dangerous return man Christian Kirk bottled up. The strategy worked, as Kirk had no returns. One punt going out of bounds short is the price one might pay. This was easily the best punting day of the year.

Unit grades after the jump!

Defensive Line: A-. I counted off for a few run-fit errors, and some missed tackles in the backfield. Still, this unit pressured the quarterback, and prevented the Aggies from establishing a consistent ground game. You know it’s a big day for the line, when the top 2 tacklers on the team, played on the line. Derrick Brown led the way with 7 stops, and Jeff Holland had 6. Holland was also credited with 3 quarterback hurries. I think he really had 10 or so. As a unit, the line contributed 25 total tackles.

Linebackers: B+. The Auburn linebackers continue to do a good job of filling lanes and hunting the football down, although there were a few big runs given up this week. Auburn is trying to use a 6 man rotation, and at times there is a lot of youth out there. That can only help, down the road. T. D. Moultry had the only sack of the game for Auburn, and Deshaun Davis had a big tackle for a loss. The linebackers were credited with 15 total tackles.

Secondary: B+. There was more sure tackling this week, after some lapses in recent weeks. For the most part, the secondary held the Aggies to just throwing short stuff underneath. The exception was receiver Damion Ratley, who got loose repeatedly, late. Ratley at times seemed completely invisible to the Auburn secondary. We are fortunate that the Aggies did not discover this, till the game was already out of hand. There was only one long pass completed downfield, and that was to Kirk on the wheel. The other two big passes given up were on a short slant to Ratley, and on a well-executed shovel pass to Traveon Williams. Texas A&M tried the fade route a good bit, and the Auburn defensive backs defended that brilliantly, each time. As a unit, the secondary had 21 tackles.

Punting: A. As mentioned above, it was a good day punting the ball. Freshman Aiden Marshall averaged a whopping 47.4 yards per punt, even with one 25-yarder kicked out of bounds. He dropped every punt into a well covered corner, where Christian Kirk could do nothing but call for a fair catch. Kirk did let one ball hit, that bounced for 70 yards.

Punt Returns: A. It was mentioned during the open thread that perhaps Stephen Roberts fair-catches too much, and he had 4 on 6 punts this week. I’ll take not having turnovers. I can remember Auburn years where the team was so muff-prone that I was willing to let the other team kick it and let it roll. Ruffin did do a good job of stringing his one return out for 15 yards. I give the punt return team credit for the blocked punt, too. The Aggie punter helped with some hesitation, but Auburn did a great job of standing there looking disinterested and complacent, then suddenly overloading the middle and breaking through. It was very strange how this play was documented in the stats. Nick Ruffin blocked the punt, and is given credit for a return for 26 yards. Malik Miller recovered the ball for a touchdown in the end zone. The scoring box shows Miller with a zero-yard return for a score, but not in the return section. Meanwhile, that blocked punt is not counted as a punt, in the Aggie punter’s data. However, the two blocked field goals DO count as missed field goals in Daniel Carlson’s stats. That’s a woeful lack of consistency, and it probably cost Carlson whatever was left of his chances of winning the Lou Grosa award this season.

Kick Returns: C-. Noah Igbinoghene had a couple of return opportunities, and managed just 38 yards. A 19.0 average is subpar. Igbinoghene didn’t have much help in the blocking department, on those.

Place Kicking: C-. I gave a grade this high because of 5 touchbacks on 7 kickoffs. The ugly part of this unit grade was both field goal attempts being blocked, and a 72-yard return being given up. I don’t think either block was Daniel Carlson’s fault. The angle looked good on both kicks. The Aggies just got penetration through the line, and got a piece of the ball both times on desperation reach-outs.

Offensive Line: B. It was a tale of two lines, this time. Texas A&M took it to the line early, and had Auburn’s running game stuffed, and the passing game in shambles. Moves were made, communication improved, and Auburn’s offensive production picked right up. Auburn ended up with Casey Dunn at center, Braden Smith and Marquel Harrell at guards, Austin Golson at right tackle, and Prince Tega Wanagho at left tackle. This unit protected well. And, there was a defining drive in the 2nd half. The Aggies had gone for it on 4th and goal, and turned it over at the 4 yard line. Auburn pounded the ball on a long, 96 yard drive, and got it done on the ground, despite Texas A&M loading the box. The offensive line shined, on that drive, consistently driving Aggies back, or into the ground.

Running Backs: A. This was not a game for big break-away runs, but it was one for toughness. Auburn ball-carriers Kerryon Johnson and Kam Martin had it, and ran hard. There were no fumbles, and no protection issues. At H-back, Auburn has a good pair in Chandler Cox and Spencer Nigh. On the 96 yard drive mentioned above, Cox and Nigh were a big part of those heavy sets that drove the Aggies back.

Receivers: B. Dropped balls continue to be somewhat of an issue, and Darius Slayton, Will Hastings and Sal Cannella all had their hands on balls that ended up on the grass. However, big plays and good blocking were evident from this bunch. Jalen Harris had a good day blocking from the tight end spot. Ryan Davis continues to be a consistent safety-valve for the team, and racked up another 7 catches in this one. Davis has now caught 48 balls, with 3 regular season games plus post-season left. The single season Auburn record is 60. Darius Slayton may have a few drops this year, but he’s also been a weapon, on the deep ball. He stuck a dagger into Aggie hearts twice, in this game, with a break-away touchdown, and a tough catch down to the two yard line. Eli Stove continues to be a threat on speed sweeps and screen passes.

Quarterback: B+. Things seemed to get a little panicky here, in the 2nd quarter, as the rush was coming. Credit Stidham for shaking it off, and hitting a big throw before halftime, that would give Auburn a lead it would never relinquish. With time in the second half, Stidham pretty much did what he wanted to do to the Aggie defense, unless the ball was dropped. If the 5 drops had not happened, Stidham would have finished with 25 completions on 27 attempts. Even with the dropped balls, Stidham averaged 9.9 yards per pass on the day. That’s a good day, especially when one considers 3 touchdown passes against no turnovers.

It was another week, and another double-digit win over an SEC West rival. We’ve had our maddening moments certainly, this week, but this offense has been pretty prolific, most of the time. The table is set for a championship run, but monumental difficulty awaits next week, and Thanksgiving week. Auburn has the top two ranked playoff contenders, starting with number one Georgia next Saturday afternoon. A tuneup against Louisiana Monroe follows, then then possibly an Iron Bowl for the ages.

I looked at some numbers this afternoon, and noticed an interesting stat. I just looked at SEC records during the Gus Malzahn era. Georgia and LSU have slightly better records, and of course Alabama has dominated the league. However, Auburn’s record is better than the other 10 teams in the league, and the team is in a really good place talent-wise, thanks to the recruiting of this staff. Sometimes, it’s good to be thankful for what we have!

My concerns for the Georgia game are pretty typical. Auburn has to win the turnover battle, and win on the line of scrimmage. The same is true in most games. Shaky special teams moments in recent weeks are also a concern. I think Auburn has the defense to slow the Georgia attack down, but it needs some help from the offense. Georgia is a good defense, and Auburn will have to find ways to eek out first downs and keep the chains moving. I also feel like Alabama is mortal this year, and is similar in a lot of ways to Georgia. Alabama has had some truly awful injury luck, this season. They may be more vulnerable than usual, on defense.

The post Auburn Outlasts the Aggies! (Grading Auburn’s 42-27 win at Texas A&M.) appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.

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