#someone’s insomnia’s been acting up (mine) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ddejavvu · 2 years

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Could you write something where Eddie comforts a reader with PTSD? Mines been going brrr lately and I just need the comfort.

Also, I found your blog pretty recently and omg ilysm, everything's so beautifully written :') <3

come celebrate 5.7k with me!

i'm sorry your ptsd is acting up, baby! i hope this helps, and i'm so so so glad you enjoy my writing :) i love you too <33

Your room is stuffy, the curtains draped over the window and gathering dust while you keep them closed. There's nothing outside that interests you, but there's really nothing inside that interests you either. Your room is boring, but there's nothing better to do than to lay down, sleep having escaped you for days.

You wish you were capable of functioning normally. But anytime you try to engage with people it's like your eyes glaze over, and your brain shuts itself in and refuses to contribute to your life.

So you're left motionless in bed, despair weighing heavy on your heart.

That is, until someone knocks at your window.

You panic. You're scrambling off of the bed in seconds, the sheets tangled around your legs and coming with you. Whoever it is hears the telltale thump of your body hitting the floor and curses, but the voice is familiar enough that the panic in your chest dies down.

"Eddie..?" You realize he can't hear your breathless whisper from outside, so you rush to the window, throwing the curtains open. Thankfully, it is the boy you'd met only weeks prior, his hair frizzy and slicked to his face with sweat.

He looks relieved to see you and pries helplessly at the edge of the window. You tug it open for him, tucking an arm underneath his own and helping haul him into your room.

"Eddie," You repeat, this time to him, "What.. what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Eddie deflects your question, brushing a stray leaf out of his hair from the tree he'd climbed, "You're supposed to be in school."

"I haven't been in a week." You groan, burying your face in your hands, "Why would I go today?"

"Yeah let's talk about that," Eddie perches on the end of your bed, his eyes drifting over an array of crumpled up tissues on the floor by your trash can, "You sick or something?"

"Or something." You sigh, sitting beside him on the bed. There's space between you, but only as much as your small mattress allows, so not much.

Eddie isn't sure what to say, and you hate that he's glancing around your room, probably noticing the cups stacked on your nightstand and the dirty socks strewn about.

You deflect his attention, "Again, what are you doing here?"

"When someone's missing in action for one out of the four weeks you've known them, it's a little freaky." He levels you with a stern glance, "No one knew where you went, man!"

"I haven't been sleeping well." It's not a lie, it's just not the full story, "I don't really feel up to a day at school.

Eddie hums sympathetically, "You take melatonin? That shit knocks you out if you take enough."

"Anything will," You scoff, "But yeah. No luck."

You hesitate to tell him that it runs deeper than simple insomnia. That sleeping scares you, both the images you see while your eyes are closed, and the possibility of them becoming a reality again if you let your guard down like that.

He seems to put the pieces together, though, from the disarray your room is in. You're well aware that you look like sadness personified, a t-shirt you haven't changed in four days wrinkled against your chest and loose shorts hanging low on your hips.

"Have you tried, like, listening to music?"

"And rain, and ocean sounds, and birds chirping, and a heartbeat." You list off the white noise you'd enlisted for help, each one of them failing miserably.

"A heartbeat?" He looks intrigued, glancing at you from the side of his eye.

"Yeah, it's supposed to, like, remind you of being inside the womb." You explain, your hands shifting to accentuate your point, "It's comforting, I guess. Just not comforting enough."

"Right." He nods, trailing off into thought. You're not sure what you're supposed to do, because being upright for longer than two minutes to use the bathroom is now foreign to you, and you kindly prompt him to make a move.

"Well I'm fine, so you don't need to worry." You offer him a careful smile, and he surveys you with the same disbelieving look that he'd given you before.

"You're crazy if you think I'm leaving you here." He scoffs, cautiously glancing at you again before he swallows. You watch his adam's apple bounce, but your eyes flick back to his own as he finally speaks.

"That.. that heartbeat stuff. That really works?"

"Well it didn't for me," You remind him, "But I dunno. Maybe it's better on babies or something."

"Or like.. with a real person?"

"I guess?" You shrug, "I'm not, like, an expert on white noise. There could be some weird specification for- what are you doing?"

Eddie's arm curls around your shoulders, tugging you closer to him across the mattress. You stiffen in his grip and your eyes widen, your hands pinned at your sides as he crushes you to his chest.

"Shut up," He mumbles, "Put your ear on my chest."

"Eddie I don't think-"

"Just do it," He huffs, "I'm trying to do a nice thing for you."

You can't argue with that. You press against his chest first, slipping out of his awkward grip and readjusting yourself so that you're leaning comfortably over his lap. He settles against the wall behind him, the window still open on his other side, and your head comes to rest just above his heart.

You have to admit, the warmth that he radiates is much more soothing when paired with his natural heartbeat than your cold pillow is with a simulated one. Cold against your skin doesn't bother you as much, though, when it's the metal bands of Eddie's rings pressing into your back, just beneath the hem of your shirt that's ridden up. You hear the light thunk of his head against the closed portion of your window, letting out a deep sigh as you both decompress.

"Did I miss anything at school?" You ask idly, your eyes fixed on the frayed strings on the knees of his jeans.

"Uh, yeah. Like, a week's worth of work." He teases you, his fingernails digging into your skin lightly. You would be panicked, but you know he hasn't done it either, so you brush off his condescension.

"That's not what I meant," You berate him, "Like, anything interesting!"

"Some cheerleader got into a fight with her boyfriend in the cafeteria yesterday." He recalls, "And we all dared Dustin to eat one of the fries she threw at him 'cause it landed on the floor."

"Did he do it?" You feel bad for the poor boy, but the image of him succumbing to a stupid dare does make you giggle.

"Of course he did," Eddie laughs, "It was gross. There was, like, hair on it."

"Ew!" Your face wrinkles into a sour frown at the information and Eddie's chuckle reverberates through his chest, his hand pressing tighter into your back, "You guys are so mean to him."

"Hey, you were laughing too!" He reminds you, "Hypocrite."

You fall silent after his biting remark, but not out of hurt. It's more out of a sense of serenity, the first genuine bit of happiness you'd felt in days. You're reluctant to admit that his heartbeat is soothing you, but you're certain it wouldn't work if it was anyone else. It's not his heartbeat that's soothing you, it's his heartbeat that's soothing you, and you don't know how to tell him that without sounding like you like him.

And maybe you do, you realize, as your eyes flutter shut slowly against his chest, maybe you do like him. But you'll have to ponder that later, because he's murmuring a soft, 'Sleep for a bit, babe, then we'll get you some food.' and you're following his instructions to the letter.

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sparklecryptid · 1 year

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I was thinking about how a combination of All the Bastards verse and Ardyn's kid verse could possibly look like (mostly, involving Jean & Mercury's childhood shenanigans) and then. I Had an Idea.

Specifically, what if Jean was one of the Bastards.

Either a trans or secretly female Ardyn, who thought it would be Funny to seduce a Lucis Caelum, especially one who will likely be the sire of the newest Chosen King (it's been nearly 2000 years, after all).

Only, oops, now there is a baby and Ardyn has to rework the entire Master Plan for Revenge (tm).

Featuring:

Ardyn going on the Find If Regis Has More Bastards Trip nearly a decade earlier (the man knocked up a daemon, there's no way normal contraceptives actually worked for him);

the Bastards having considerably less respect for their bio-father's taste and judgement (really, Dad, the trash hobo troll?);

and what is possibly the Most Awkward Run-Into-Your-Ex Ever when Ardyn comes to Insomnia to deliver Nifheilm's terms, Jean trailing behind (Clarus and Cor are side-eyeing Regis. Regis is avoiding eye contact. Ardyn is there, smirking).

Jean is not sure what to make of the silver eyed boy who just set his father on fire. In the boys defence, Ardyn had been acting creepy so Jean can’t be too angry at the kid.

Not to mention, the kid is his half brother and it wouldn’t do to start off on the wrong foot.

“Hi,” Jean says and waves at the boy from his place in a tree, “We’re brothers!”

The boys mouth opens.

Closes.

Opens again to ask a question everyone would like the answer to:

“How many of us are there?!”

“Including us? Four! There’s probably more!”

The poor boy looks like he wants to stab someone.

“Please don’t stab my dad,” Jean says.

The other boy looks at Ardyn.

“Alright,” he says, “But can’t I stab your father?”

Jean and Ardyn both grin at the distinction.

“If you really want to.”

The boys name is Ace, as Jean finds out, and Ace is friends with Nyx and Libertus and there is steel in Ace’s eyes when he introduces Jean to them.

Mine, the light in Ace’s eyes says and it makes Jean want to laugh.

It’s ridiculous how many of them there are.

It’s ridiculous.

Mercury stares at Jean from across her plate of sweets. She’s the daughter of a disgraced noblewoman of the Empire and likes chaos too much to be healthy.

“I have siblings?” Mercury says, “You’re my brother?”

“…The Lucis Caelum part meant nothing to you!”

“I already blew a few things up with my mind,” Mercury dismisses the claim, “It had to be that or weird science shit.”

#all the bastards verse

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spaceshipkat · 1 year

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The first time Ed saw Stede again, Stede had stolen Ed’s ship. Not the Revenge, since Ed hardly left her save to raid ships or buy rum, but the Queen Anne. And Ed couldn’t let that fly.

Literally. Stede had changed her flag to two skeleton mermaids whose hands, if Ed looked close enough, spelled out “Ed”.

Ed stood at the end of the pier in a purple sunset, bottle of rum in one hand and his sword in the other, and stared at that fucking flag flapping in the breeze rushing off the water. His decorations—the spikes on the rails, the black netting on the helm, the general ambience of “fuck around and find out” that had made the Queen Anne the cause of many a pair of pissed-in pants—were all gone. It wasn’t some behemoth with a happy yellow hull and unicorn figurehead to match, but it was on its way to something Ed didn’t really recognize. And he could hear Stede’s voice, echoing out from somewhere on deck, yet Ed’s boots felt fused to the swollen wood of the pier. People parted around him, but he couldn’t be fucked to move. Let them glare, let them huff, because he was Blackbeard and they’d do nothing more than share idle annoyances.

The instant Stede’s head became visible, Ed was moving, walking without thought, shoving past everyone in his way to the gangplank, then storming up it without waiting for permission or invitation.

He was Blackbeard, and they’d do nothing more than let him aboard.

Stede’s back was to him, but Ed didn’t slow in his approach, fueled by rum and insomnia and hate and pain and and and—

“Captain!”

Stede whirled in just enough time to catch Ed’s sword in his gullet. Stede gasped, first out of obvious pain, and then again when his gaze landed on Ed’s face. Ed stared back, wondering where someone had fetched a bellows from and why they were going about the deck with it, until he realized that was his breathing, his nigh-groaning, like he’d been the one stabbed.

“Ed,” Stede said like a third gasp, like Ed’s name was a sword to his gut, sharp and painful and aimed to kill—

Ed looked down, blinking when he realized he’d punctured Stede’s left side, right where Izzy had so very, very long ago at a different time in a different place on a different ship. He didn’t know whether Stede had been the one to move, or if Ed’s hand had acted on its own. There was no way he was out of practice with aiming to hurt, let alone kill.

“You stole my ship,” Ed gritted out through clenched teeth, staring at the place where his sword disappeared in Stede’s flesh. He’d have a hell of a time picking out the stray threads of his shirt, bedraggled as it was. What happened to the Gentleman Pirate? What had taken his place, thrown out the idea of silk and satin, cashmere and cotton?

“You stole mine,” Stede said. And then he fucking shrugged.

Ed tore the sword out of Stede’s flesh, ignoring his loud cry, his doubling over, his hands flying to the wound. He ignored the gathered crew, some of whom went to Stede, the rest of whom went to Ed, as if they could corral him, contain him, crush him like so much dust under boots.

Without a word, Ed whirled and stormed for the gangplank. Footsteps clomped after him, but were cut short when Stede called out, “Let him go!”

Ed shuddered in the wake of it and told himself it didn’t hurt.

-----

Ed lay on the floor of the captain’s cabin, trapped in past tense.

He was the Kraken, the scariest motherfucker in the entire goddamn ocean.

He was Blackbeard, a name that conjured images of a head carved of smoke, embers for eyes, a saunter down a deck washed with fog.

He was Edward Teach, Hornigold’s best attack dog, who was sent aboard ships in the vanguard not because he was worthless but because he had a talent for fuckeries and fearmongering, for kissing death but withholding tongue.

He was Boy, feeling silk for the first time in the same breath that he was told silk wasn’t meant for people like him, that fine things could never be his.

I’m Ed, he’d said, and been met with a handshake, with “You’re a good man,” with a secret closet full of finery and a quiet “Can you keep a secret?”

He was the best secret keeper alive, for the greatest secret was one he’d never share: he didn’t know how to escape past tense. Past tense was safe when present and future were too much, so he buried himself beneath Boy, beneath Edward Teach, beneath Blackbeard, beneath the Kraken. Layers of snow to hide the corpse underneath, keep it frozen until the thaw, thaw it to make it rot and bloat and become carrion for vultures.

Carrion was history, and vultures were everyone who’d remember him not as who he is, but who he was. No one would care to know about him, so long as they learned of his names.

Names make history, Izzy had once said, parroting Hornigold, parroting Jennings, parroting Bellamy, and so Ed took his very first.

The door swung open, shoving aside the mire, and Ed watched Stede stroll right in. Of all absurdities, Ed wanted to ask, “Are ye real, or are ye a phantom?” but Stede had a sword in one hand and something clenched in the other.

Ed didn’t move, watching Stede march across the cabin to where Ed lay sprawled on the floor by the sleeping nook. There were no blankets, no pillows, only the tangle of his hair and ill-fitting leather and the scraps of a yellow banyan. Probably also a bottle of something, digging into Ed’s spine where he couldn’t be fucked to move.

“Ed,” Stede said.

Once, Ed had been thrown overboard in a storm, dumped in the ocean before he could even draw breath enough to scream on the way down. He’d been thrashed by the waves, pummeled within an inch of his life, dragged down by boots gone heavy and solid. They’d come with a warning, those boots, that they weren’t fit for life on a ship, too heavy and clunky no matter how cool. He just hadn’t listened, more determined to be heard coming than he was to stay afloat in some fictional future where he’d find himself stuck in the ocean with no hope of rescue.

But he had been rescued, Izzy Hands diving in after him, finding him under the surface. He’d wrapped a rope around Ed’s chest, tucked up under his armpits, then pressed their mouths together and shared his breath with Ed, just enough to fill the lungs and keep him from gasping in saltwater on the way back up.

“Ed,” Stede said, and Ed’s lungs filled.

Stede stopped above him, looking down at him with an unreadable expression. Anger, perhaps. Disappointment. Resentment. A question of “how could I have ever let you sully me?” that Ed had been asking himself from the day they met. Ed was grease paint and gunpowder, leaving a mess, causing a wreck.

Why should anyone share breath with him?

“You forgot something,” Stede said and stabbed Ed through, the tip of his sword pressing into the floorboards.

Ed gasped when it went in, and gasped when it went out, feeling every inch of steel and definitely a few splinters. Christ, someone needed to teach Stede about that, though Ed would’ve thought he already knew. It had been Ed who told Lucius how to remove Stede from the mast to avoid splinters, and Lucius was hardly one for reticence.

Stede knelt, opening his fist to reveal a scrap of red silk. Ed gasped again, though whether at the sight of it or the feel of it being shoved into the open wound, staunching the blood, he didn’t know. It hardly mattered when it amounted to the same: red silk made him gasp, steel made him gasp, Stede made him gasp. One was more painful than the rest.

And then Stede turned on his heel and left as quickly as he’d come. In the silence, loud as a foghorn, Ed dragged one hand across the floor to his waist, feeling around for the wound.

Stede had stabbed him through his left side.

-----

Ed found the Queen Anne in his fifth secondary hiding cove, right where he’d been told. She’d arrived a fortnight ago, according to Buttons’s birds.

A skeleton crew milled about her deck, though it was midday, the sunlight almost a weight on Ed’s shoulders as he guided the Revenge alongside her. No one stopped him from swinging aboard, nor seemed especially surprised. Most of the crew seemed new, though Ed could swear he heard the familiar rhythm of Roach’s butcher knife, smell the familiar blend of tobacco he smoked, deep down in the galley.

The halls of the Queen Anne were familiar, though much brighter, guiding him to the cabin that had once held everything he found interesting but didn’t care to organize. It seemed, in Ed’s absence, Stede had made a museum and thrown open the curtains to let it all shine. Ed’s lucky pufferfish was even high atop a pedestal.

Snarling, Ed strode toward the trunk where he’d kept his books, only to now find it full of clothes, carefully folded and arranged. His fingers dug into the unforgiving wood of the trunk, when what they really wanted to do was grab a knife and slash and slash and and and—

Ed turned away, scanning the cabin in its unfamiliar familiarity until his eyes caught on a bookshelf. That hadn’t been here last time. He shoved to his feet and crossed to it, glaring at the titles, his own mixed up with novels he’d never heard of, histories he’d never read. At least Stede had kept Ed’s collection of schedules, the only reason he was fucking here, though they’d been stacked on the bottom shelf in alphabetical order, rather than by order of date.

By the time he finally found the schedule he’d come for and shoved to his feet, he heard air shift seconds before Stede stepped through the doorway. Ed stared at him, watched as his gaze trailed from Ed’s face down to the book in his hands, then his feet, and all the way back up, heavy as sunlight and just as hot.

“Ed,” Stede said, and Ed’s lungs filled.

“The fuck d’ya do in here?” Ed snapped, scanning the cabin once again if only to keep himself from staring at Stede’s collarbones and chest, visible in the open V of his shirt.

“Cleaned, for starters,” Stede said. “Living like that couldn’t be healthy. And then let a little light in. I think she looks rather splendid, don’t you?”

Ed scoffed, fixing Stede with a glare that would have made anyone flinch. Stede smiled. “Fucked up a right good ship is what you did. Look at her. She’s got novels.”

Stede’s smile, formerly built of happiness, now adopted mirth. It looked just as pretty, made Ed feel just as crazy. “She had novels before, but at least now you can find them.”

Ed snarled, whipped out his sword, and stormed toward Stede with it brandished. Stede continued right on smiling, standing perfectly still, but he was between Ed and the way out, so Ed didn’t let it stop him, even if it made him stumble.

He blamed the stumble for his shoddy aim, the sword piercing Stede’s left side. Stede gasped and one hand latched onto Ed’s shoulder, seemingly out of reflex. Ed felt the weight of it, the warmth of it, familiar in its hollowness, familiar in the same way the captain’s cabin of the Queen Anne’s Revenge was familiar.

Ed wanted to buckle, wanted to surrender, wanted to breathe that saltwater in. Instead, he tore the sword out of Stede and dropped it to the floor, catching Stede by the hips and guiding him down. Stede let himself be maneuvered, eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted.

“It never does get less painful, does it?” Stede murmured while Ed shoved his shirt—his ridiculous white, frilly, puffy-sleeved shirt—out of the way to see to the wound. Ed said nothing, prodding at the wound to search for stray threads, and was glad to find none. He bunched the shirt back over the wound, then rolled Stede onto his side to check the exit wound, just as clean.

“Ain’t bad,” Ed said, rolling Stede onto his back again to find the man’s lips pressed white, corners of his eyes pinched. “Roach?”

Stede sighed. “He’s good, yes, but his first impulse is always amputation. I hardly see how an amputation would heal a stab wound.”

Ed stared at it, that little hole in flesh staining white fabric red. The red would dry dark, like grease paint, like gunpowder. Another ruined thing.

He shoved to his feet. “I’ll get Roach,” he said and barely remembered to grab the schedule from where he’d dropped it.

-----

The fuckery was in full swing when Stede fucking Bonnet crashed the party.

The plan had been executed seamlessly: Steal a ship, preferably a galley for its size. Decorate it to look like that one ship full of fancy fucks who gave Ed a crash course in massive aggression. Fill it with kitsch, the darker the better, and give them labels to indicate which pirate they came from. Invite enough fancy fucks aboard in each port they stopped at to attract attention.

And then wait where he knew a particular ship would sail.

They hadn’t had to wait long before the latest guests were British naval officers, chief amongst them a woman by the name of Badminton. She wasn’t as bad as Ed had expected, given his past experience with a Badminton, and her deep voice and beard could rival his own. Under other circumstances, perhaps Ed would’ve tried getting to know her.

But no, the human-shaped reason that Ed created a fancy as fuck floating museum currently had his paws all over the silks, knickknacks, and books Ed had labeled “Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate.” Ed hadn’t been sure who had made the Wanted poster with Stede’s face on it, hence Ed’s costume of frock coat, waistcoat, knee breeches, stockings. Izzy had even put bows back in Ed’s beard, short though it still was. But the boatswain had been boasting about finding Stede, no matter the rumors of his death.

And now, right as the plan was about to go down without a single hitch, Stede fucking Bonnet strolled in, dressed once again in plainer garb than the Gentleman Pirate would ever find himself. That might be the only thing to save him.

Ed cut his conversation short with Lieutenant Badminton of the deep voice and magnificent beard and beelined for Stede, standing in the doorway with Black Pete, Wee John, and Lucius, of all fucking people. Were Ed not fixated on keeping Stede alive, he might have stumbled at the sight of Lucius there. No, Lucius waggled his fingers in greeting at Ed, Ed blinked at him, and then Ed had arrived in front of Stede, and Stede was smiling at him, and Ed wanted to wring his fucking neck.

Preferably with teeth. And tongue, if he was feeling particularly spicy.

Tongue remained behind teeth and teeth behind lips as Ed grabbed Stede by the arm and hauled him toward the door. Stede, though, was strong enough to halt, making Ed whip around to face him. At least this put Stede’s back to the room, though people were now looking over, distracted momentarily from the finery of a piratical nature.

“You can’t be here,” Ed hissed, stepping close enough to Stede to smell his cologne. He couldn’t wear fancy clothes, but he could cologne? Ed wanted to shake him by the shoulders. He wanted to press his nose to Stede’s neck and inhale deep, memorize, memorialize.

“I don’t see why not,” Stede said, curls of hair framing his sun-browned face.

“Because—” Ed looked past him, spotted the boatswain making his way over, and cursed, trying without success to get Stede out of the doorway, up the stairs, kicked off the ship where he could fucking swim for safety like his life depended on it.

It did, but Stede was an anchor, unmovable.

The boatswain’s expression shifted from curiosity to suspicion, suspicion to realization. He whipped out his sword, so Ed whipped out his. Stede looked down at it, opened his mouth, but Ed gripped his shoulder, held him fast, and stabbed him through the left side.

Conveniently, the boatswain was much shorter than Stede, so the sword sank easily between the fourth and fifth ribs. Stede gasped, the boatswain gasped, Ed gasped.

“Sorry,” Ed whispered and tore the sword out, shoving Stede toward Wee John, who looked too stunned to swing the club tied conveniently to his belt. “Get him out of here,” he said to Wee John, whipping off his frock coat to press it to the entry and exit wounds.

Wee John, thank fuck, didn’t need to be told twice before slinging Stede over his shoulder and rushing back up the stairs, Black Pete and Lucius following close behind.

Ed turned back to chaos.

-----

not me already writing another fic. but hey, you'll find the rest on ao3! it's an explicit fic, so i'm cutting it here. i'd rather it not get flagged.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd fic #ofmd fic rec #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #blackstede #my writing #my fic

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 11 months

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I read your post about Marianne's characterization and I have to agree, which is saying something since Marianne is one of my top two favorite characters in 3H (the other is Ferdinand). Her writing in the academy phase wasn't too horrible IMO, but it could've been better. At least in the war phase, she does improve. If she had better characterization in the academy phase, she probably would've been an overall better character, maybe even a popular one, but alas. The best we can hope (story-wise anyway) is that during the time skip (if she survives), she realizes that her behavior towards others is wack and tries to do something about it so that by the time the war phase hits, she's grown as a person and doesn't really behave that way anymore.

I dunno, I could just be biased as she's a favorite of mine, but I like to fill in gaps when the writers don't do as well with a character as they should have.

Yeah, I don't think she's a bad character overall and in the second half of the game she was perfectly fine as a character. It's the first half that really hurts her for me. There's a point where it's an understandable character flaw, and then there's a point where it's over the top in almost every interaction and becomes the focal point of her entire character. Unfortunately that focal point is a very negative trait and it makes her situation a lot less sympathetic to me.

Raphael and Bernadetta had similar issues, and it's a shame because the writers can clearly write better than that. Yuri and Hapi, for instance, have more to them than pretty boy assassin and local underground girl who had experiments done to her. Their supports have different topics that they cover to grow them as a character and it's not the same thing in every conversation. Dimitri and Claude were examples of the writing at its peak, so I know they can do better than what we got for a handful of characters.

Marianne gets the worst end of the stick with Bernadetta for being written with the central aspects of their characterizations being all negative. Felix was handled better, but he had similar problems in the first half of the game where half the stuff he said was an eye roll and made me want to smack him. I love Felix and I'm glad they fixed the bullshit around him in Hopes because most of the fandom takes every single thing he's ever said literally ever at complete face value with not a single thought about it.

You should fill in the gaps! It's fun to think about those missing points in canon and reason out why the characters changed as much as they did and what might've happened in that time. For all we know, Marianne could've had a life changing experience with someone or more than one person calling her behavior her, explaining how she's being hurtful to others and not just "protecting" them from her "curse". Maybe someone made her realize all she was doing was trying to make herself feel better at the expense of other people's feelings and it made her change how she interacted with people.

I also think it's a shame that they tried to tackle depression with her and messed up by making her act like that. I wish they'd made her try to interact with people and be more sunny and more willing to be around people, because I feel like depression gets stereotyped as "sad person who wants to be constantly away from the world and looks like they haven't slept in weeks". If they don't also have insomnia, they wouldn't look that ragged, and not every depressed person just doesn't want to interact. Many such people will reach out possibly even more than normal because they want the human interaction.

Marianne is a popular character, but I also definitely don't see the same outpouring of love that many other characters get. I'm not sure if it's because of what we've mentioned, but the fan content in general for her feels less than how she popular she seems to be?

#DCB Ask

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excuse-my-screaming · 10 months

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Manic Mama

nights like these, I'm thankful for this tumblr.

This is really the only place in the world that I can get it all out and know that someone out there can read it, but not worry about the consequences. This is why tumblr was my oasis growing up.

So I'm in a manic episode for the first time since becoming a mom, and it got really bad a couple of nights ago, but here lately I'm just enjoying the extra energy. I just cleaned up a bit at 2 AM, and it's a weird feeling because I know that cleaning is seen as such a good thing, and it makes me feel so much better to clean.

I know that is just because of the way I was raised, with everything being disgusting all of the time and friends not allowed in the house. I never even really dated because I was too embarrassed to bring people over. I married the first boy that I dated.... that's so wild to me. It's so fucked up that I have a failed marriage under my belt, but whatever.

Anyway, so far this manic episode has been good to me because I am dirt fucking poor, and I couldn't spend the money if I wanted to. Because I am a mother, my outlandish idea planning is actually me making real plans towards changing my bad behavior.

It's kind of surreal to put a real name to what has been going on with me my whole life. All the times that my insomnia was acting up, I was fucking manic and I never allowed myself to really sit with it because I just kept trying to sleep.

This is the age of my getting better. I've come to the realization that I cannot outgrow this. I will always be this way, so the thing that I need to do now is make a plan for the mania every time I'm manic, instead of making a bunch of crazy take-on-the-world type stuff. After I write all this out, I'm going to work on my school work. I was going to work on it earlier, but I had 2 glasses of wine and fell asleep.

I'm really glad that I started letting Fiona sleep on her own, because the freedom to deal with this in the middle of the night is probably the only thing keeping me together. I really want a vape.

That's the hard part about not having money that is mine. Austin would be fine if I moved some money onto my debit card to get one, but I think my pride is holding me back. I just wish I knew how long this episode is going to last. The last one was about 6 months, and the stress of moving is what brought it on. This time it's the stress of losing both of my dogs, and my parents, and their house, and everything that has always bothered me.

Oh, I told my mother to calm the fuck down with all the god shit. It's been really nice to get that off my chest.

#personal #diary #manic #mania #episode #journal

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timeworncalamity · 1 year

Note

✨ OOOO for the oc asks, Isca (love aliens...) and Vin AND omg is three in one ask too much,,, maybe Strike too?

Sorry this is late im out of town but for you Anon! Ilu thank you sm for all 3 of my kids

1: sexuality headcanon

Isca - Isca is a very strange person in general but i am going to say he is Bi. He just leans towards anyone who catches his interest.

Vin - Vin is Ace. He has always been Aro Ace but at least now he has some really nice platonic relationships with multiple characters.

Strike - their sexuality is kind of up in the air tbh bc i am trying to figure mine out and they are my sona but im just gonna say they are gay. (Non-binary gay dude)

2: otp

Isca - am i allowed to say??? Im not sure but lets just say hee hee. Yes.

Vin - I dont have a ship for Vin. He doesnt really feel romantic feelings for anyone. Hes always been Aro.

Strike - Coldcurrent. Hands down. My otp for strike is their bf Aiden.

3: brotp

Isca - rn his part in my bf's stroy is under construction so idk atm.

Vin - Ford. His best friend is Ford and tbh they are the reason Vin even started being active in my head again. Vin loves Ford sm okay.

Strike - oh they love Sulfur. They have been friends for a while and hang out all the time.

4: notp

Isca - i cant really think of someone right now??? For any AU where he looks human dont ship him with Ford or Vin.

Vin- Castor. Just dont they are twins and thats really gross.

Strike - strike and Oz. Strike literally hates Oz and that would be so unhealthy for them.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Isca - Isca is actually very strange in the way he speaks and acts. Hes generally rly positive but there is just something really eerie about him 99% of the time.

Vin - he can have tattoo sleeves that he can change the pattern of or even make disappear all together. The only tattoos that are always visible at all times are the diamonds around his biceps.

Strike - strike actually has some serious problems with insomnia. They are trying to work on it but they have alot on their mind at all times.

6: favorite line from this character

Gonna be honestttttt idk i dont write alot of dialogue stuff for ocs. Sorry.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Isca - he has alot of tropes i really like and sense of humor that makes me laugh

Vin - he has alot of my emotions of feeling betray an wanting answers shoved into him

Strike - well Strike is my sona so they have a ton of my in them tbh. They help me vent and get my emotions out, often times helping me when im in a bad mental place. They are very special to me tbh.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Isca - not.... to be nsfw but honestly how horny he can be at times oops.

Vin - how nasty and violent he can be. I get self conscious about having violent edgy characters now but alas that is who Vin is.

Strike - how fucking sensitive and upset that can get bc of how in their head they tend to be. They over think things alot.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Isca - PROBLEMATIC CHAOS MACHINE

Vin - PROBLEMATIC PROBLEMATIC ANGRY MAN

Strike - ..... they just need a hug okay

#answered asks #oc asks #anon #THANK YOU THIS WAS FUN #OUGH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM PLZ #GRABBYBHANDS #IM OUT OF TOWN SO REPLIES R SLOW BUT PL

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yourwildsimp · 3 years

Text

sweet confessions

includes: aizawa, y/n

warnings: mentions of nightmares

length: 1,986 words

summary: with neither of you able to sleep, trapped words are finally allowed to slip like melted butter.

Four in the morning was not the time to be up, especially on a work night. Well, a workday at this point. You should be in bed, surrounded by the fluffiest, warmest blankets on the softest mattress you could afford.

And yet? Here you were in the bathroom, washing your face with warm water, for what was the third time in a row. It was as if you were trying to slowly drown yourself. A yawn left your lips, strong enough to rock your body with violent yet satisfying shudders. You cursed your insomnia. You knew you were tired, so why couldn’t you fall asleep?

Something clattered in the kitchen, a hushed swear which broke the stillness of the shared apartment soon followed.

Was he up, too?

Your face heated up at the thought of your roommate. There had always been a spark between the two of you, but both of you dodged any confrontation. It was like fate danced you both around each other, curious to see who would take charge. Who would finally end this little game of cat and mouse? You didn’t think you had enough confidence to be the one to put a stop to the games you were playing and admit how hard you’ve fallen for him.

However, as life tugs you both along, curious things unfold.

You cracked open the bathroom door to peep out, holding your breath in case he was just outside. This was new to you, as Aizawa was typically asleep for as long as he could be. His record is 19 hours straight after a hard mission. Your record was nine hours, and you were damn proud of yourself for it, too.

You carefully stepped out after turning off the light, trying to creep back to your bedroom without getting caught. It’s not like you wanted to avoid Aizawa, you just didn’t want him to catch you up this late again. Though as soon as you took your first step out into the hallway, he spoke, the words making you freeze like a deer in headlights.

“What are you doing awake at this hour?” You swallowed around the lump in your throat as you stood straight.

“I thought you didn’t know I was up,” you said with a grin, but Aizawa could see how tired you were.

“I’m a pro-hero,” he hummed, a coffee mug warming his hands. “It’s almost insulting that you thought I didn’t notice you. Now, why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Pro-hero,” you retorted, earning a worn chuckle. The distant look in his eyes told you everything you needed to know to understand why he was awake as well.

Nightmares.

You knew all too well that Aizawa’s night terrors were a force to be reckoned with. On some nights he even woke up screaming or falling out of bed. Aizawa’s dreams were the only thing that could get such a strong reaction from him.

“Drinking coffee this late can’t be good for you,” you said, changing the subject rather quickly while you headed into the kitchen with your roommate. “Doesn’t a hero with your status need to stay healthy?”

“It’ll keep me up,” he murmured with a strange sort of solemnness infecting his tone.

You couldn’t stop the empathetic look from tainting your face even if you wanted to. You hated nothing more than watching as the hero business ate away at your best friend.

“Hey.” His voice took you from your thoughts. “We’re already up this late, and I doubt either of us will sleep soon, so. . .” Aizawa trailed off as you looked up at him. “So, come sit on the roof with me. Only for a bit.”

Your jaw nearly dropped to the floor before you caught yourself and nodded. You hoped that you didn’t look too head over heels for him, but little to your knowledge, Aizawa found your reaction cute.

“Sure, alright,” you said with a small smile, trying to sound nonchalant. You didn’t, but Aizawa didn’t comment on it, sparing your pride. “Ah, wait, let me grab a hoodie-”

“Don’t bother,” he said, just loud enough for you to hear him.

A smirk tainted your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest and accusingly leaned towards him.

“Oh, so you want me to freeze? That isn’t very heroic, mister.” The way you raised your eyebrows got him to spill a chuckle.

“I do not. You can just wear mine."

Leaving the conversation at that, he turned away before you ever saw the pink hue that dusted his face. It took you a second to let his words process before you were following after him like a lost puppy.

It's not a big deal. He's just being friendly and giving, as always. That's the lie you've always told yourself.

“How do we get up on the roof?" You asked as he led you on the small back porch.

Your small smile dropped entirely as he jumped and grabbed the edge of the roof, pulling himself up with practiced ease.

"All right, asshole, not everyone is a pro-hero, so-" You cut yourself off as soft cloth suddenly wrapped around you, acting as a safety harness.

He lifted you to the roof without breaking a sweat. And to be honest, that boosted your confidence by a few points.

"Such foul language doesn't belong in a pretty mouth like yours," Aizawa murmured, his calloused hands carefully pulling his scarf off of your shoulders. He left the cloth on your waist for you to take care of, as he didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

The scarf was the furthest thing from your mind as you hoped the dark sky hid your heavy blush.

He said I was… Pretty. Aizawa… called me pretty.

"You, um…" You tried to start a conversation to distract Aizawa from the fact you weren't removing his scarf. "You got up here stupidly fast. Do you do this often?"

He didn't comment on the matter of his scarf, silently using it to justify why he was sitting this close to you.

"I'm a stealth hero. I'm always jumping rooftop to rooftop," he reasoned, heavy eyes taking in the ever so familiar landscape.

"That's not what I asked," you prodded gently. "Do you come up here often, this late at night?"

You wanted him to trust you, to tell you what was obviously plaguing his thoughts or what had scared him sleepless this time. You were well aware trust wasn't given easily, especially for someone like him. Someone who's been hurt time and time again.

His jaw shifted, and you were too concerned about his mental health to think of how handsome he was with his sharp features.

"Sometimes. When the dreams aren't incredibly terrible," he muttered after a thick swallow.

You hummed to let him know that you understood, your body shifting a minuscule closer to his warmth. He noticed, and without a word pulled his hoodie over his head. You two were sitting so close that you needed to lean to the side to avoid getting elbowed.

"Hey, what are you-"

He smiled gently as he set the article in your lap, and the sight alone shut you up. He was gorgeous, basking in the never-sleeping city lights.

"Didn’t I tell you? You can wear my jacket if you're cold."

Be still your beating heart, because if it didn’t soon, you were sure he'd think someone was knocking at the door with how loud it was pounding against your ribs.

With a painfully flustered chuckle to fill the silence, you put it on. And, God, you'd be content dying surrounded by his scent of heavy rain and the forest. A small thank you filtered off your tongue. Using the visual excuse of adjusting how it pooled at your hips, you shifted ever closer.

"You know-"

"Sometimes-"

You had both gone to speak at the same time, earning a soft giggle from you and a deep chuckle from him.

"You go first," you offered with a gentle smile.

"Only if you go after, no matter what," he playfully demanded.

As you agreed, you watched his eyes lingered on you, something indescribable dancing behind the walls of charcoal. With a deep breath, he faced the horizon.

"Sometimes when I drive, I'll turn on the radio. Just to have some background noise. I don't pay attention to it, though, because most of the music is shit," Aizawa started, something in his chest swelling as you chuckled at him. "But then, when I was sitting in the UA teacher's parking lot, something hit me as I listened to a sappy song."

"What? That you're getting old?" You teased, trying to break some of the tension in his shoulders.

"I realized that all of a sudden, every love song was about you."

Your soft gasp sounded like a nuclear bomb to him and he screwed his eyes shut. He knew he should've stayed in bed.

"I..." Aizawa moved to stand. "I should go back to sleep," he finished rather quickly.

Your nibble fingers gripped his pants leg and he froze entirely, like a child who’d been caught eating candy past midnight.

"Hey… What happened to our little deal?" Your caring tone caused him to hesitate. "Please, Shouta, won't you hear what I have to say?"

Shouta. How pretty it sounded rolling off your tongue.

He swayed in the morning breeze, the very beginning of a sunrise highlighting his dark features. And then he sat, avoiding looking at you at all costs.

"As I was going to say before I was thankfully interrupted," you began, adjusting the sleeves of your (his) jacket. You took a deep breath, hyping yourself up to finally fess up as he did. "You know when you look at a kitten, you think of Shinsou? Or when you see candy apples, you think of Eri?" You asked, earning a stiff nod.

"Everything has started reminding me of you. From sleep bags to your favorite dark chocolates, and baggy clothes like the ones you rarely allow me to borrow, or a coffee mug you'd like. You're always running through my mind," you took a breath, needing to get some air after your fast-paced rant.

You both sat in heavy silence, the dew in the grass glinting from the rays of marigold that poured over the horizon.

"Can I do something stupid?" He asked quietly, shifting in his spot.

" 'Course. It's about time we swapped roles," you humored.

Smokey-colored eyes bored into yours as he faced you, Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped. You'd never seen him so… beautifully revealing.

Suddenly you were surrounded by warmth, Aizawa no longer looking at you. He hugged you so desperately, it was as if he thought you'd leave him. He scruff tickled your neck as he nuzzled into you, but you couldn't care less.

The way you didn't need to think twice about returning the hug made him smile against your skin. You both sat there on the roof, basking in rays of fresh morning sunlight, never letting go of each other.

"It was about losing you," Aizawa breathed, breaking the blissful silence. "My nightmare… In it, I had lost you forever."

You closed your eyes, one hand tenderly massaging his scalp with the other held him closer to you. "I'm right here, Shouta. I'm not going anywhere," you reassured, feeling his breathing pattern calm. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah…" He whispered, voice heavy with sleep and concern.

"Let's get back to bed, okay?" You murmured, feeling the weight of your feelings change from suffocating to soaring.

"Not yet. Please… I just wanna stay with you." Aizawa pulled you impossibly closer and you smiled.

"Whatever you wish, but don't blame me when you're sore tomorrow." You felt him chuckle as his eyes drooped shut.

" 'm always sore anyways."

#comfort #aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #mha fluff #boku no hero fluff #poor baby really just needs a hug

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misscaptainamericana · 2 years

Text

eight

content warning: sexting, phone sex, praise kink, masturbation (male and female), pillow humping, insomnia, mental illness, talks of murder

word count: 5777

includes this post and this interview

It was a normal Saturday afternoon for Nicole. She had ordered in some food while she set up her stream. Saturday evening meant a couple hours of Rainbow Six Siege with her friends. Rainbow Six Siege is a standard shooter game played in squads of five perfect for her friend group. Carlos (CupcakeCarlos) has been her best friend since elementary school, in highschool they started making youtube videos and that turned into live streaming. Robert (DammitBobby) had moved to their hometown senior year and immediately became friends with them. He even started dating Carlos three years ago. Now for her online friends, she adored these girls. Lily (LittleLovelyLily) and Natalie (NatTheCat) were two amazing women she met at ComicCon in 2014 and they had been friends ever since. Whether it be live streaming, chilling on discord and gaming off camera, or even going to conventions together they had become a great means of support when Nicole first moved out on her own.

They had been playing the game for an hour or two when the conversation had shifted to Nicole. Carlos cleared his throat, “You know what? I would like to talk about this secret life Nicole has created.”

Nicole looked up from reading her chat, kind of confused at what he said, “Wait, what?”

“Well, we have seen all your tweets about your boyfriend but you won’t even tell us who he is.”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh, “I kind of agree, that’s some Hannah Montana shit right there.”

Nicole rolled her eyes before Natalie chimed in with her own input, “Wait, I think it’s kind of cute. Her acting like this is how I know Nicole is like head over heels in love with whoever this is.”

“Oh, is there going to be like some great revelation here?” She said with a laugh before taking a drink from your water bottle.

“What besides the fact that she’s not complaining when any of us bring up our relationships?” Robert interrupted, causing Nicole to shake her head with an annoyed glare at the camera, “Very funny, Bob.”

“It’s just the truth! You’ve been the comedic third wheel for everyone forever.”

“Anyways! What is your revelation, Nat?”

“Any other guy that you were just like on the fence about you would be like so and so sent me a meme today it was pretty stupid or-”

“OR when you’re trying to debate in your mind if the person is good enough to stick around you will not shut up about the sex.” Carlos yelled into his mic causing Nicole to laugh, “That was one time that I did that because he was toxic and I was debating how much I would put up with! Anyways, I guess I just found someone to make an honest woman out of me.” She shrugged before the group of five got pulled into a game. “I guess if we all want details uhm, life is good. I’ve kinda missed this cutesy lovey dovey stuff that always happens in the beginning.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of cutesy lovey dovey stuff?” Natalie asked with a slight giggle causing Nicole to roll her eyes with a smile.

“I don’t know, the stuff. When you find out about the other person and you get to like hold hands and just fall in love.”

Her statement was followed up by Carlos and Robert fake gagging and throwing up. The women in the call let out a loud laugh

“The truth is, he watches the stream, and that makes me nervous as hell.” Nicole let out one more brief little giggle before focusing in on the game and setting up her defenses.

“What do you mean he watches the stream? Like is he in chat right now?” Natalie asked excitedly.

“Your guess is as good as mine! And no that does not mean go back over the last few months and interrogate every new regular here. I just don’t know his work schedule and he won’t tell me his user name so I really just want to keep my mouth shut and just be cute because he makes me happy and I’m getting some really great sex. I honestly cannot afford to fuck things up at this rate because there is no way I will ever find this connection again.” There was a pause in her rant as she had to focus and take down a member of the opposing team before continuing, “I don’t have any hilarious sex stories to share, uhm, the one thing I do have is like a me thing because I’m the stupid one in the relationship.”

Carlos sighed, “Please don’t tell me you like threw up on his dick or broke his nose with your ass or something, Nic. I’m going to feel really fucking bad for you.”

“No! Oh my god! What the fuck do you think I do in bed?!”

“I have no clue but it wouldn’t surprise me at this point.”

Nicole scoffed, “Okay, well, I may have sent a thirst trap to him.” The discord call filled with annoyed groans causing her to laugh, “Shut up! I didn’t know what to do! I wanted to be flirty but I didn’t know if he was busy so it wasn’t a full on nude but still spicy enough to get his attention you know. It was just a short little video of me dancing around in lingerie to some music.”

Natalie was quick to jump to her defense, “No wait! Because I think that would be really cute, like if I came home from a long day to a little video made just for me I would feel special.”

“Did you wear that really hot red set?” Lily asked before letting out a small curse as she died in the game.

Nicole bit her lip trying to focus on the game, “Uhm, no, not the red one.” She answered quickly and took down the last enemy of the match with a quiet celebration, “Yes!” She put her controller down before leaning back in her chair, “No it wasn’t the red one, I’m saving the red one for my birthday. This was just the white one with the flowers and stuff on them, you couldn’t really see it because the lights were really dim. Anyways! Can we talk about something other than me?! Lily literally got engaged last weekend and we haven’t heard the cute little story about how that happened!”

The group of friends continued to talk about their lives while playing several more matches of the game. With a little yawn, Nicole leaned back in her chair before checking her phone. In her notifications was a text from Chris with a picture notification. Forgetting that her phone would unlock upon seeing her face, it opened to reveal a picture of his erect penis peeking out of his boxers with a text (Look at what you’re doing to me baby.)

Nicole immediately got red in the face and flustered before sitting up straight with a deep breath, “Uhm, hey! I didn’t notice that it was past ten.”

“Yup! Almost eleven. Why? You have to turn in early tonight?” Lily asked with a small pout.

“Yeah, I have a lot of errands to run tomorrow before I get my nails redone and I told myself I was going to go to bed early, I’m sorry guys!”

They all responded with their no worries and goodnight messages before she left the call. Taking a deep breath, she did her best to focus on the task at hand saying her goodbyes to chat and thanking everyone for watching and donating. Once she ended her stream she quickly texted back, (It’s not nice to use my praise kink against me).

A few minutes had passed and she was waiting for Kennedy to come back inside when she got a facetime call from Chris.

Knowing what he was calling for, she wanted to decline the call so badly and keep teasing him but answered, “Yes?”

“Oh, I just get a ‘yes’ now?”

“Maybe.” She said with a shrug and a smile causing him to shake her head

“Alright, miss maybe, can we take this conversation to the bedroom?”

Nicole playfully gasped, “Mister Evans, did you just call me for a peep show?”

“You’re one to talk after that show you put on earlier. Did you like the filter I put on that picture to match the cinematic concept from your video?”

“Yes, I truly appreciated the effort put into your piece.”

“Do I get a reward for my efforts?”

“Oh, you think you should get another reward?”

He shook his head with a small smirk, “You just looked so gorgeous I was hoping you’d let me experience it in real time.”

“I hate that you know exactly what to say to get me to do what you want.” She said with a laugh before letting Kennedy back inside. Nicole tossed him one his dental chews before heading upstairs.

Going into her master bedroom, she placed her phone against the water bottle on her nightstand before crawling onto her bed to get into the frame. “Do you want music too?”

He was laying on his side in bed with his head resting on the fist of his bent arm keeping him up at a slight tilt, “No, baby, only you.”

Nicole rolled her eyes with a smile, taking a pause to decide how she wanted to do this. She started by slowly lifting the oversized shirt dress over her head before dropping it on the floor in front of her. She took more time removing her bralette, leaning in and teasing him by pulling down on the straps before eventually pulling it off as well.

“God, look at you. So goddamn beautiful.” Chris said in a low, almost growl.

Nicole began to roll her body and her hips as she hoped her cheeks weren’t showing how much she was blushing. Her left hand moved from her thigh, up her stomach, to grab her neck before moving to her hair to remove her scrunchie. She did a few hair flips before crawling across the bed to get closer to her phone, “Is this what you wanted?”

He nodded with an amused smirk, “I am but I think you’re having more fun teasing me instead of giving me the true show.” Nicole gave an innocent shrug in response before rolling onto her back. After a few little kicks, she reached down and slowly pulled off her underwear with a wiggle before throwing them across the room. Getting back on all fours with her back facing the camera, she peeked over her shoulder to make sure she was in the frame of the camera. She slowly slid her arms across the comforter until she could rest her head on the bed. She couldn’t help but smile as she heard Chris groan and the sound of sheets being moved. Taking her time to walk her hands back to her all fours stance, she did a teasing shake before sitting back on her heels at an angle so she could see him.

“Fuck sweetheart…”

She bit her lip watching him stroke himself mesmerized by him before his low voice snapped her back to reality. “Spank yourself for me.”

“It’s not any fun to spank yourself.” Nicole said with a pout but he simply narrowed his eyes and sternly said her name in response. Her mouth hung open slightly before she sat up slightly and spanked the buttcheek closest to the camera. “Do you have any other demands?” “None in particular. I just want to watch my stunning girlfriend climax on camera for me.”

“I think we can make that happen.” She grabbed a pillow from the far side of her bed and straddled it in view of the camera. Letting her body roll and her hips press rhythmically into the pillow, she let out a set of whimpers before grabbing onto her thighs.

“I’d give anything to be able to touch you right now.” He said before a low groan escaped him, causing Nicole to open her eyes slightly with a smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby. Tell me how good you feel.”

“I wish it were you, you’ve always fucked me so good.” She said with a shaky exhale before her hands trailed up her body to grab onto her breasts. “Need you to fill me up so badly, I-” The room filled with the sounds of their panting and strained moans for a few minutes before Nicole grabbed onto the pillow, “I’m so-so close, I-” She was cut off by another moan before steadying herself on the bed with her left hand.

“That’s it, baby. Cum for me.”

She rode out her high for as long as she could before letting herself fully rest on the bed. Resting on her side to face the camera she tried to catch her breath but she couldn’t help but smile as Chris rolled over on his side to face her. He exhaled with a smile, “Do you know how much I miss you?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. I think you should tell me.”

Chris carried on listing all the things he missed and loved about her until she fell asleep. Even continued to list more things for another thirty minutes just to make sure she was asleep before hanging up. He didn’t mind when she fell asleep on a call with him, he had done it often enough with her. He noticed pretty early on in the relationship that Nicole struggled with some sort of insomnia either not wanting to hang up a call or non stop tweeting at two am. If he could quiet her brain a little so she could rest, he was more than happy to.

The next few weeks went by in a blur but most nights ended with them talking to the other on facetime until one of them fell asleep. Whether it was ordering the same kind of food or even being able to take the time to cook the same recipe while on a call together, they tried to have date night at least once a week. Their nights filled up with laughter and conversations were dampened by the silence that came once the call had ended. As much as they wanted to act like they were both fine and perfectly okay with the situation, they missed each other more and more each day. It was a pretty mundane Monday, after making sure her video was uploaded she took the time to play with Kennedy until her food got delivered. While eating lunch she posted a photo of her sleeping dog to Instagram before sending the picture to Chris. He had asked her if they could have a date night tonight and watch an interview he did today. She did some chores and work but honestly date night couldn’t come fast enough. He called her a little after ten thirty that night and she answered the phone, “Hey handsome!” He immediately smiled, “Hello gorgeous, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright, very happy we get another date night so quickly. You?”

“The same, did you pick up some ice cream?” “I sure did!” She said with a laugh before picking up her spoon, “I have it on the nightstand over here but I’m waiting for it to thaw a little bit. What kind of ice cream do you have?”

Chris showed the pint to the camera, “I have the man himself, Jimmy’s The Tonight Dough. What are you having over there?”

“Wow, very on brand of you! Very proud of you for committing to the theme. I have Phish food!”

“Really?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he removed the lid from his pint of ice cream.

“What? Have you never had it?”

“No, I don’t think I have. I’ve seen it at a store but I just have never grabbed it. What do you like about it?”

“Well, there’s these little chocolate fishies in it but it also has marshmallow fluff and I love marshmallow fluff.”

“There’s always more to learn about you, I love that about you.” She scrunched up her nose with a quiet ‘thanks’ causing him to laugh. They spent the next hour talking about their weekends and eating ice cream until the show started. Nicole turned the tv up on her side of the call so he could hear what was being said. He honestly just wanted to get her genuine reaction to the stories he and Scott told.

As Jimmy explained the game, she started shaking her head. “Oh god, this is going to be a disaster.” Nicole said as she watched Scott place the headphones on.

“Just watch, it’ll be really entertaining I swear.”

Nicole gasped before looking back at the phone, “Your brother is a true crime junkie too? I love your socks by the way.”

“Yeah, he really is. He’s always bringing up an unsolved case or something when you talk to him and thank you. I pride myself on my socks.” “Hmm. Good to know, so sit next to and make friends with your brother at Thanksgiving. Got it.” She said with a slight giggle before looking back at the tv smiling at the conversation the three of them had before it was Chris’ turn, “Oh wow, look at those moves!”

“You like that?” He asked with a laugh as she nodded with a smile.

“Love that.” She said while watching him be in his own world, “I wish you would stop being so cute so I could pay attention to this story.” She got out before her jaw fell open and she looked at him stunned, “Chris! Jesus!” He let out a loud laugh, his head hitting the headboard lightly before responding, “It’s not as bad as you think it is!”

“Oh yeah, sure!” She responded with heavy sarcasm before focusing back on the screen. With a sigh, she continued, “I want to hear some of these other stories at some point!” She told him before looking back over to her tv.

“You will, I’m sure you’ll hear a lot on thanksgiving.”

“I can’t wait…No one’s gonna watch? Well I’m watching Jimmy, rude!” Nicole paused before looking back at her phone, “Chris, what is this story?”

“Just wait.” He said, trying to hold in his laughter.

Nicole continued to shake her head as Chris told this embarrassing story about his little brother. “This is so bad.” She said before covering her mouth as the story continued to get worse. Finally it had ended but now Scott was trying to guess what he told the audience. “Oh my god, this is making me so anxious I'm going to throw up-No!” She cut her own sentence off as Scott began to tell a different story, “Chris! No!”

Chris burst out laughing, “Wait for it! Baby, wait a minute!”

Hearing his laugh she couldn’t help but join him, “I feel so bad for your brother! This shouldn’t be funny!”

It took a while for the two of them to calm down from their laughing fit as she continued to tease him for being a bad brother. She grabbed her phone and rested back against the headboard, “So, how long are you in New York for?”

“I have to be out in LA for the premiere so me and Scott fly out in the morning, but I was wondering if I could stop by and see you on the way home. I can’t wait however many more days until you fly out for your birthday.”

“It’s Knives Out, isn’t it?”

He nodded, causing her to pout, “Gosh, I want to see it so bad.”

“Do you want to go?”

“I...Can I?”

“Of course, I have three tickets for me, my brother, and his partner but I can definitely talk to Scott about it.”

Nicole sucked in air through her teeth, “No because then I’ll feel bad, you already made plans with them.”

“Nah, he would understand. Do you want to go?”

“I really do, this is my favorite kind of movie.”

“Well, the premiere is on the fourteenth.”

Nicole yawned, “Alright, hang on.” She got a pillow and propped him up against it near the foot of her bed.

“Are we-”

“No, we are not having phone sex again, I have to grab something.” She said with a tired laugh before getting out of bed, leaving him staring at the headboard. She came back a few moments later with two notebooks and a planner before sitting cross legged on the bed again. “So you said it was the fourteenth?”

“The premier for the movie? Yeah. I do have to go do some promo up in San Francisco on the ninth though but I should be back by bedtime. Then of course there’s some stuff after the premier but that’ll only be a few days.”

Nicole nodded looking over her notebook, “So, we might be able to make this work. I have videos filmed for the next few weeks because I was nervous I would anxiously shut down. So I’m technically fine work wise but I would have to come back to Austin the Monday after Thanksgiving so I could record the videos for December.”

“And you wouldn’t mind doing that?”

Nicole shook her head, “I’ll have my laptop so I can research cases, edit the videos, buy games during the steam sale, and we can just… Have a normal holiday. Spend some time together…Unless I’m overstepping inviting myself-”

“No, baby, no. I’m so happy you would want to do this and we’ll be able to watch the movie that started this for us together. I can show you my house in LA and we can have dinner with my brother. That way maybe Thanksgiving won’t be so nerve wracking. ”

“That would be nice.” She gave him a warm smile, “Maybe me and your brother could hang out while you’re in San Fran.”

“I’m sure you two are really gonna hit it off, that sounds like a great idea.” Chris looked over at the alarm clock on his nightstand, “It’s getting pretty late, would you be able to be at the airport by seven?”

“Meh, it’s not midnight quite yet. I’ll pack quick, squeeze in a two or three hour nap, and then head over. They won’t mind rerouting the flight?”

“It’ll be alright, less of a hassle than them dropping me off and getting you in a few days.”

“You’re right.” She bit her lip and looked around her room, “Do you want me to bring you guys a coffee or anything? I want to make a good impression.”

“Oh, Scott will love you don’t worry about any of that. I’m sure I will have to sit through three hours of intense crime discussion, but it’ll be worth it.”

Nicole picked up her phone with a big smile before laying back down on her side, using the other pillow to prop up her phone, “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He stared at her with a smile before speaking up again, “Actually can I ask for something?”

“As long as it’s not explicit, yes.”

He let out a brief chuckle, “No, no, nothing like that. I was wondering if you could pick up those breakfast tacos on the way to the airport.”

“Oh, from Torchy’s?”

“Yeah, the one that had the brisket on it.”

Nicole nodded with a smile, “I can manage that, do you know which one your brother will like?”

“He might like the potato one, I’m not sure. Whichever works. I’m just so excited I get to see you again, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too. Hopefully you don’t get sick of me in these two or so weeks together.”

He shook his head, completely beaming with happiness, “I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you.”

His sentiment caused Nicole to roll her eyes affectionately, “We’ll see. Do you have to head to bed?”

“Not quite, I was going to email Nick and the flight crew then stay up with you for a little bit if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind packing with me.”

“‘Course not. I’m just happy I get to spend time with the woman I love.”

Nicole blushed with a small nod, “Alrighty, to the closet we go.”

The next morning, Chris woke up to the hotel alarm and wondered when he had fallen asleep. With a stretch, he reached out for his phone and texted his brother. (You better be awake in the next ten minutes or I’m jumping on your bed.) Pulling himself out of bed, he got dressed into the v-neck, sweats, and hoodie he left out the night before. Going into the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and made his hair look somewhat presentable before finishing packing up his belongings. As he rolled his suitcase he was stunned to see his brother ready to go, sitting on the living room couch.

Scott raised an eyebrow, “What, didn’t expect me to be up?”

“I just didn’t expect you to be up before me.”

“Long night?”

“Yeah, something like that. Do you have anything going on today that you have to be back in LA by a certain time?” Chris asked before looking down at his phone and going through his emails and text messages.

Scott shook his head, “I don’t think so, why? Are we staying another day?”

“Not quite.” His smile grew as he read the confirmations from the crew, “We are, uhm, making a pit stop.”

“For?”

“Well, Scott, you can finally stop interrogating me on who my girlfriend is because we are going to pick her up.”

“Shut up!” His little brother exclaimed jumping off the couch causing Chris to laugh, “They just confirmed the change, but our car will be here in about five so we should head downstairs.”

He couldn’t help but smile as his brother began his barrage of questions again. Not only did the string of questions in which Chris gave annoyingly vague answers to continue down the stairs, but through the car ride and through the first thirty minutes of the flight.

By the time they had landed, Scott had given up his intense questioning, deciding to catch up on the TV shows in his watch list.

Once they had landed, Chris stood up and started towards the door before turning back to eye his brother who was now sitting on the couch suspiciously, “You swear you’ll stay put?”

“Where else am I going to go?”

“I don’t know, I just didn’t want you hiding around a corner to scare her or something.”

Scott scoffed looking up from his phone with his mouth still hanging open, “You think that low of me? I might just to embarrass you for that. You know I still have to get back at you for that interview yesterday”

Chris sighed resting his hands on his hips, “I know you’re doing the overreacting younger brother thing and you aren’t going to do anything crazy, but just please stay on the couch. Call your boyfriend, check social media, whatever you have to do but stay here. I’m going to help her carry the food and her bags then I will introduce you two, okay?”

Scott stuck his tongue out at Chris, causing Chris to flip him off before exiting the plane.

They always teasingly fought like this and it wasn’t normally a big deal, he was just so nervous about today. Nicole is an only child, what if she didn’t get along with his siblings and it was all just too much for her? With a sigh, Chris sat on the couch in the middle of the lobby and looked out the window waiting for her car to pull up. They had landed a little earlier than he expected so he had an anxious ten minute wait of his leg bouncing and probably annoying the crew behind the counter.

Once she pulled up he quickly got off the couch, meeting her at the trunk of her car with a hug. She took the moment in fully embracing him after their nearly two months apart. He kissed the side of her head, “I’m so happy to see you.”

Nicole rubbed his back with a smile, “I’m happy to see you too. I kind of have a lot to carry so I’m sorry in advance.”

“It’s okay, you could have eight suitcases in here and I wouldn’t care.” She pulled away with a laugh, “Just one really big suitcase, my backpack, the donuts, the tacos, and my coffee. Oh! And Kennedy.”

Chris nodded and opened the trunk, “How about you get Kennedy, the donuts, and your coffee and I will take the bags and the tacos.” “Sounds like a plan to me.” They took a few minutes to gather her belongings before walking back to the plane. He was so nervous that Scott was going to peek out the door at any minute as they were handing over her suitcase. With a sigh Chris stated, “Now my brother may be a little intense, just-”

“It’s okay, Chris. If it’s awkward at least we have a lot of food to eat.” She let out a little laugh motioning down to the food before he kissed her forehead. He took the box of donuts just in case she needed to pick up Kennedy. “We’ve been practicing his stair jumping.” Nicole said with a little laugh, “I think the first time he smelled Dodger or something and just had to rush in here.” She watched and carefully walked behind Kennedy up the small set of stairs into the plane. As she turned the corner she saw Scott on the couch and gave a small gesture of a wave with the iced coffee she was holding, “Hello!”

“Oh my god!” Scott quickly got up off the couch before walking over to Nicole, “You do the makeup and the murder stories! It’s you!”

She laughed with a small shrug, “Yup, it’s me! Hi! I’m Nicole.”

“I know! I’m Scott!” He said very loudly and full of excitement before hugging her.

Nicole lightly patted his back even though it was difficult while holding Kennedy’s leash, “I’m sorry if his leash thing is hurting you. It’s nice to finally meet you! Your brother has told me a lot about you.”

“We are going to have so many things to talk about!” He pulled away with a laugh as Nicole wiggled further into the plane. Scott pointed from her back to his older brother, “Do you even know who you’re dating?! This is great!”

Chris shrugged, “If I would’ve known it was going to be this big of a deal I would’ve told you sooner.”

Scott gave him a disapproving nod, before turning around to Nicole with a big smile, “I just finished watching your video on Tina and Gabe Watson in the hotel room last night!”

“Oh, yeah! The honeymoon scuba diving murder! God, that guy fucking sucked.”

“He really fucking did.”

Chris smiled at the two of them interacting before clearing his throat, “We should probably get buckled in so we can take off.”

Scott quickly sat back down in his seat and Chris leaned down to kiss Nicole’s cheek, “I have a little kennel thing on the other side of the couch if you think we should put him up until we’re done eating.”

“That’d probably be best since he’ll just harass Scott for food the entire time.”

Chris nodded before placing the food on the table before taking the leash from her.

“So, when did all this start with my brother? During the video you guys did for your channel?”

Nicole took a deep breath before sitting in the window seat and nodded, “Yeah, he came over to my house for Knives Out promo and then I asked him if he wanted to see Austin and he did. So I took him for a little drive, but then he asked to drive my car-”

“He always does that, control freak.”

Nicole couldn’t help but laugh as she placed the coffee she brought with her in the cupholder, “So, we got some local food to go and we had dinner on my back patio. He actually had me go back to the taco place for these breakfast tacos. But the date was really great, probably the best first date I’ve ever had.”

“Wow, how romantic. My big brother is always prince charming.” Scott said with a raised eyebrow as Chris sat down and buckled his seatbelt.

“I really hope that’s a genuine eyebrow raise.” Nicole said somewhat concerned.

“Oh! It is! Don’t worry, it is! I’m just worried that he’s going to be an idiot and fuck this up because I will have to take your side.”

Chris laughed pretending to be shocked, “You’d pick her over your own brother? Ouch, Scott.”

“What?! She’s amazing.” He said before looking at Nicole, “You’re amazing. Wait, has mom met her yet?”

Chris shook his head, “Nope, not until Thanksgiving.”

“Yes! I’m the first! “

Nicole looked over at Chris with a smile before grabbing his hand, “I’ll hold the donuts if you hold the tacos.”

“I can do that.”

Scott smiled at the two of them, “I had my suspicions by how he was looking at you in that video but whenever I would ask who he was seeing he was very hush hush about it.”

Her head tilted to the side in suspicion and a soft tongue click, “You embarrassed of me, Evans?”

“I wanted them to meet you and not the online persona of you.”

“Mhm, mhm.” She said before scrunching her nose at Chris and settling back into her seat for taxing around the airport. “So, uhm, I brought breakfast tacos and doughnuts after we get in the air if you’d like to eat. I know Chris is hungry and he loves Torchy’s but just in case you didn’t like any of them I brought doughnuts.”

“Gosh, you are just as sweet as I thought you would be.” Scott said with a laugh, causing Nicole to relax a little more.

“I’ve been so nervous about meeting everyone.”

“Oh, don’t be! They’re going to love you, I promise! And don’t worry, I won’t blab about your big internet persona before they get a chance to meet you.”

“Thank you.” Nicole and Chris said in unison, causing them to look at each other with a smile.

“God, you two are so perfect for each other it makes me sick.”

(Next Chapter)

#rewrite the stars #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x oc

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

Guess That Was My Stubborn Season - Lonnie Machin Imagine (Arrow)

Title: Guess That Was My Stubborn Season

Pairing: Lonnie Machin X Reader

Song: Love Him I Don't

Word Count: 1,058 words

Warning(s): yelling, mentions of violence

Summary: Finding out about Lonnie's real job allows (Y/n) to confront some very unfortunate truths.

Author's Note: I write about this man so much.

Masterlist for the Maisie Peters Writing Challenge!

------------------------------------

I was curled up on my sister's- Laurel's- couch with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I had tried to get some work done but my brain was foggy, and I couldn't focus for longer than a minute.

"Maybe I should get you a desk," Laurel said as she walked in with a mug in hand. "Hot chocolate with peppermint mocha creamer."

"Thank you," I muttered, taking the mug from her. "I don't need a desk. Just to get out of my funk."

She nodded and sat next to me.

I let out a shaky sigh, "I'm such an idiot."

"Don't say that," she scooted forward, moving my legs over her lap so she could do her best to hug me. "You were in love and hopeful. That's not you acting like an idiot."

I had been in a relationship for just over a year.

I had met this man a while ago. Lonnie. He was blonde and blue-eyed. Romantic and honest. It was great.

At least, I thought it was.

Then, he left his phone on the counter.

The screen lit up and there was a message there about a job. I felt guilty but I opened his phone. I don't know why someone like him didn't have a passcode. I think it's his ego. The messages were detailing information. Location, people, time, what the task was.

"Have you seen my-"

Lonnie froze when he saw me turn around.

"-phone."

"What is this," I asked. "What's this job?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," he stepped forward to take the phone, but I stepped back and held the phone back so he couldn't reach it without lunging at me.

"What is this," I repeated.

He let out a sigh, clearly struggling for an answer.

As we were sitting in the tense air, the phone buzzed in my hand. It was a different number than before. It was something about recommending Lonnie to some new boss that wanted to rule Star City.

I felt my heart sink.

"Lonnie. What is your job?"

"(Y/n)-"

"Fucking answer me," I snapped.

"I'm a mob enforcer," he answered, shrugging. "I do whatever they tell me."

"You're in a gang," I asked.

After a moment of hesitation, he nodded.

"You have a new job offer," I said with anger lacing every word.

I tossed Lonnie his phone before storming out of the kitchen area and to his room. I hadn't moved in, but I had been staying there more often than not. I snagged my duffel bag out of the closet and threw my clothes into it.

Lonnie tried to talk to me, but I walked around him like he wasn't there.

After packing, I called my sister right in front of him. I needed a ride out of there.

She showed with Oliver in the passenger seat. He got out of the car and watched the building behind me as I loaded my things into the car.

Lonnie hadn't followed me outside.

Now, I was staying with Laurel as I got back on my feet and found my own place to live. Our mom was coming out to visit in a few days to help me look at places and Dad was stopping by every day to see me.

I felt like I was a child again. It was both awful and great.

"Wanna watch a movie," Laurel asked.

I nodded.

We watched an old comfort movie of mine before Laurel went to bed. She kissed the top of my head before leaving the room.

I curled up on the couch, hoping to fall asleep for the first night since I had left.

You question a lot of things after a relationship ends.

I had questioned what Lonnie had done for work before. He had managed to make me feel stupid for questioning him. I started questioning everything about the relationship. It had been a constant pattern with everything we had been talking about.

I had been convinced that I was happy.

The realization broke my heart.

I didn't end up falling asleep that night. But it wasn't because of my insomnia.

It was because I heard the front door creak open.

I sat up, moving to grab the gun that Laurel told me she hid in the living room. I moved toward the front door with the gun held at my side.

When I caught sight of the figure, I pointed the gun at it.

"Don't move," I said, trying to stay calm.

The figure held their hands up, "Not even a 'hello'?"

"Lonnie," I muttered.

He stepped forward and turned on the lights, "Hi, baby."

"Don't call me that," I replied.

"Oh, don't be like that-"

"You lied to me for months," I said. "What did you think? 'If I date a Lance, then the cops will go easy on me.'?"

"(Y/n)," he took a few steps forward. I steadied myself. "You know that I love you."

"You lied to me for months and whenever I questioned you, you would twist it and avoid it and convince me that I was dumb for questioning you. I can't even tell if I was actually happy or if I was just convinced that I should've been."

"No-"

"I am done with you, Lonnie," I said. "I want you to leave."

"(Y/n)-"

"Leave," I snapped. That's when I heard Laurel's door open. She walked over to stand next to me.

"I'm calling Captain Lance," she threatened, holding her phone up.

"You'd be pretty useless in jail, wouldn't you," I asked, smirking a little bit.

Lonnie's jaw clenched for a moment. He sighed before grinning at me, "I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

Without another word, he walked out of the room. I let out a sigh and let the gun drop. I walked over and shut the front door, making sure it was locked. I jumped when there was a loud hit on the door.

Then, it was silent again.

"I'm still calling Dad," Laurel said. "We need extra protection."

I nodded, "I'm sorry."

She pulled me into a one-armed hug as she held the phone to her ear, "It's not your fault. We'll figure this out."

I nodded again, trying to relax.

It was going to be fine. No matter what Lonnie tried. It was over and I was going to be fine.

------------------------------------

Masterlist

What I Write For

Request Guidelines

Some Original Characters

folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)

#arrowverse x reader #arrowverse imagine #arrowverse fanfiction #arrow x reader #arrow imagine #arrow fanfiction #fanfiction #imagine #x reader #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc fanfiction #lonnie machin imagine #lonnie machin x reader #lonnie machin fanfiction

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aziraphalesangel · 2 years

Text

I've been lucky, I know, with my experience in the mental health system. I got all my care through outpatient; none of my team work with me through a hospital based practice. and I think that makes a huge difference, but again, I was lucky. right place right time. and by then I'd worked in a mental health unit as part of the nursing staff long enough to know I never ever want to be admitted.

and I'm saying this as someone who's been both mentally ill and worked in mental health, that although I loved working at that unit, there are so many things on a systemic level that I really really hate about the inpatient system.

I have a friend. who, mentally, started going rapidly downhill at about the same time as me. similar presentation if I'm honest; severe depression, rapid weightloss and self harm. she lost more weight than me (and I mean A Lot), but she'd been maybe 20kg heavier at the start so she got compliments when I started getting concern. I hit her "goal weight" and I could see how bitter she was even as she held me up to stop me fainting. But she was so much louder about her pain than me, and people got worried. and here's the difference between her and me that mattered:

she told people she was purging, she told people she was restricting, she told people she was cutting. But most importantly? she told people not just that she was suicidal, but that she had already attempted more than once (she totalled 6 times that year that I know of. she's still alive, don't worry.)

Straight to emergency, scheduled under the mental health act. She was in that hospital for 3 months, then back in again a week after her first discharge.

Good, I thought. She'll be safe.

But here's the problem with the inpatient system - it relies incredibly heavily on pathologisation, medication and chemical restraint. It took me 2 years to get a formal diagnosis, but I still had my treatment plan, I still got help, and I have coping mechanisms that are both healthier and not dependent on "as needed" medication (take my antidepressants out of my cold dead hands though, don't get me wrong, I love medication. magic stuff. I'll get to my point).

She got not just one, but 4 diagnoses in that first admission. Because you have to have a diagnosis in hospital right? that's how treatment works. you can't have antipsychotics without psychosis. her whole outpatient team is made up of the inpatient treating team, the hospital allied health and nurses and dieticians. Her care plan was and still is, very different to mine.

And now it's 2022, and I'm watching her collecting diagnoses like pokemon cards, and taking heavy meds like they're lollies, and still looking for more, because there's one last symptom that hasn't been managed.

I have a panic attack and I'm told to breathe. she has a panic attack and she gets told to take 20mg of diazepam. this is the fundamental difference between inpatient and outpatient mental health.

And now it's 2022, and she's so overmedicated but she still has depression, and anxiety, and anorexia nervosa, and so do I but shes on uppers and downers and she's still all over the place and on a night out she doubles her ADHD meds (I was so mad when she went on them. dexys might treate adhd but they also treated binge eating disorder. I will never forgive that psychiatrist for giving her eating disorder another tool to hurt her) and skips her benzos (she's fully dependent on them now. panic attacks and insomnia if she skips a dose) so that she can stay awake.

And I'm so angry, at the system, at her, though it's not her fault, that she's got all these drugs and no coping mechanisms. that when she disascociates she blames her "shitty brain" and not the cocktail of antipsychotics and benzodiazapines and antidepressants, which all have sedative effects that can be described as being in a disascociative state. I'm so angry that they failed her.

There are good people working in the system. I have been very, very lucky. But I hate what the inpatient mental health system does to people, not always, but often enough.

And I miss my friend.

#mental health #mental illness #eating disorder #suicide tw #my post.

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somerpmemes · 3 years

Text

Disenchantment S3 Starters

Change as needed

“Who can resist a creepy mom hug?”

“She’s not an ugly, evil bitch. But she is sluttier than I imagined.”

“When I last saw you, you were a lot more dead.”

“Is your life so awful you have to keep wrecking mine?”

“You were a model of regal barbarism.”

“Something’s going on.”

“Like any two numbers, this don’t add up.”

“You’re a bloodthirsty bastard.”

“I’m no decision-maker, I’m an action-taker.”

“Oh, I wanted to gloat directly over our victim’s corpse.”

“Hand me a murder stick.”

“For a dying man, he’s making a lot of noise.”

“World domination can wait.”

“I’m allergic to pandering.”

“Trust me, I’m not playing mind games with you.”

“Just promise you’ll think about giving me another chance.”

“Hallelujah, amen, and ka-ching.”

“You realize you’re all I have.”

“I know you’re lying but I hope one day you’ll mean that.”

“Is it still true love if your wallet is missing?”

“I just figured out this is a bad idea.”

“Oh, this ruins so many fantasies.. but opens up so many new ones.”

“Actually, pretending to care about your feelings was exhausting.”

“___, do what you do best. Take your mommy issues out on somebody else.”

“This is the sinister plot that just keeps giving.”

“Souls are meant for damnation, not soup.”

“Fooling foolish fools is so satisfying.”

“Oh, that’s delightfully craven.”

“Okay I get it, I have a hot mom.”

“It’s not even good cake.”

“Aww, he spelt it ‘yer’.”

“I believe it’s pronounced ‘skedaddle’.”

“I always wanted to get lost in a labyrinth. It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet.”

“If someone else is plotting without us, I will be really miffed.”

“Aren’t boots supposed to bend at the knees?”

“They’re just being really hurtful.”

“I’ll never fall for one of your tricks again.”

“I won’t say that doesn’t hurt.”

“And now, I just wanna lie down.”

“I think we’re getting away with it.”

“Ugh, I swear these tight, sexy clothes were designed to cut off cognitive thinking.”

“Disappointment’s a form of caring.”

“Who you are is a nobody and what you are ain’t nothing.”

“Stop being so agreeable!”

“I dreamed of this moment for so long, but I’m more worried than validated.”

“He looks so different with his head sliced off.”

“You have the worst luck I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t know how this could get any more degrading.”

“Don’t ever walk barefoot around here. And never eat at the strip clubs.”

“But often the craziest thoughts are the most true, you nutloaf!”

“This is a classy affair, more cleavage.”

“This means so much to whoever I am.”

“I’ve got a nice thing going. I don’t wanna mess it up by opening up my big mouth.”

“I would love to have you as one of my exes but I think it’s best if you think of me as your slutty grandma.”

“The faster you run the more beer you get.”

“Sorry, I’m a little damp and cranky.”

“I’m addicted to stealing wallets now.”

“A veritable sandwich of danger.”

“Neither of us are cats.”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna knife you in your throat.”

“Now swim for it before the crabs swarm over you.”

“Wow! You can really taste the rage.”

“So it’s agreed, we don’t get caught.”

“Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks.”

“If I were afraid I wouldn’t be here.”

“I know a lot of psychos.”

“Pretend like we planned on meeting here so no one yells at me for cutting in line.”

“It’s as educational as it is moisturizing.”

“Ha! That’s what you get for believing in love!”

“You were always good at sticking to things.”

“I know you don’t trust me, but whatever you do, do not trust him.”

“If I can’t trust you, how can I trust you to tell me who to trust?”

“What are you offering here?”

“This is big, I really need some time to drink about this.”

“Who is interrupting my insomnia!?”

“You act angry on the outside but deep down you’re lonely and inadequate.”

“I look like a macho flowerpot.”

“Like, I’ve hear of fashion disasters but you, sir, are a genocide.”

“Now to blend invisibly into the crowd.”

“I’m your knight in rusty armor.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way but, shut up ___.”

“Oh my god, I’m insulting myself.”

“We’re all ashamed of some flaw we can’t change.”

“Nature is full of green.”

“I bring good old-fashioned psychological torture to the party, okay? Just like your grandmother made.”

“Wow! This malnutrition is really slimming.”

“Oh my god, enough with the romantic fantasies.”

“That hot trash is with me.”

“I will never find that boot again.”

“Love is risky. That's what makes it so great, it pays off!”

“All I have is nightmares now.”

“How do you want to die? Slowly or extra slowly?”

“We’re one step away from happily ever after.”

“___, who have you pissed off this time?”

“Everything is either trying to kill me or kiss me.”

“From what I’ve heard, I’m both obnoxious and amazing.”

“Chalk one up for ignorance!”

“Here, drink this coffee. It’s been boiling for hours.”

“I’ve got so much love and nobody to give it to.”

“Apparently I’m not film friendly… or friendly.”

“Tell me what drugs you’re on so I know what to do when you pass out.”

“I got a lot of experience with relationships coming to a grinding halt.”

“Wait sorry, what were we talking about? Oh, wait, yeah, your pathetic love life.”

“Stop looking at me like that! I’m so vulnerable and you’re so mean.”

“Why’d you come back for me?”

“I left because I didn’t want to get hurt again and I came back because... I’ll never learn.”

“I’m not gonna ask where you pulled that from.”

“___, I tried to get help but nobody wanted to.”

“I would say it’s good to be back but I can’t shake the fact that life is meaningless and I’m gonna die alone.”

“I’ve got a lot to do now. Like go to my room and cry in the fetal position.”

“Don’t say “wink, wink”. Just wink.”

“You can bother me again when I grow a new heart.”

“Wallowing is underrated. People no longer expect things from you and you get to stop showering.”

“Sweetie, you’re young and beautiful and sandy.”

“Someday the right man or woman or creature will mate with you. Then you must eat them.”

“Oh my god, I want to shower again. That means I’ve regained the will to live!”

“Love the homicidal impulse but no.”

“But I only like gratification when it’s instant!”

“Oh, this ain’t good.”

“Oh god, they’re getting uglier.”

“Hey ___, who do you think I should punch first?”

“Sorry, I tend not to notice things that aren’t me.”

“I’m crestfallen and I can’t get up.”

“Don’t you know you can’t trust anyone but yourself?”

“I’m not kneeling, I’m dying.”

“Yeah, you’re gonna die soon.”

“You know, you have an impressive number of enemies for a girl your age.”

“Don’t be a drama queen. That is my job.”

“Well those are mixed messages.”

“My needs outweigh your scorn.”

“It’ll either cure him or kill him.”

“You do not wanna go in there unless you’re a fan of, like, dying.”

“Any operating instructions or ominous warnings?”

“You’re afraid to let people in and you hide behind sarcasm.”

“___, work on your issues.”

“So, this isn’t gonna get more normal anytime soon, is it?”

“You don’t have to die at home but you can’t die here.”

“I’ve had a lot of people leave me in my life but I’ve never ever ever not had you before.”

“I always thought you’d be dead in a ditch by now.”

“Why is it, ___, that every time you’re braiding my hair you tell me I’m going to die?”

“Braids hurt my brain.”

“Oh, you’re so going to die.”

“The key to getting dumped is not knowing how to take a hint.”

“Stop tempting fate.”

“I have resting sinister face.”

“I don’t know who to disobey.”

“Haven’t you ever seen an enchanted broom before?”

“Wow. Brutal honesty, that’s true friendship.”

“She blindsided me. While I was looking right at her!”

“I don’t know why you always bring the good half out in me, ___.”

#disenchantment #rp #rp meme #rp starters #starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme #ask meme

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equestrianwritingsstuff · 3 years

Text

In recognition of 200 followers.....

I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.

Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!

1. "I wish I had longer to love you."

2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."

3. "I will kill you if you die on me."

4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."

5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."

6. "The kitten's name is Max."

7. "I'm going to get a beer."

8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."

9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."

10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."

11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."

12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."

13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."

14. "I can't carry you!"

15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."

16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."

17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."

18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."

19. "You are insane."

20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."

21. "What is love?"

22. "I don't get the function of hugs."

23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."

24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."

25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."

26. "Sing with me."

27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."

28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."

29. "Don't give me hope."

30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."

31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."

32. "You created me."

33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."

34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."

35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."

36. "Power exhaustion sucks."

37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*

38. "Let me feed you Hero."

39. "You do not have AC?!"

40. "Villain you have a fever."

41. "Am I drunk?"

42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."

43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."

44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."

45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"

46. "She needs surgery."

47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"

48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."

49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."

50. "There's only one bed."

51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."

52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"

53. "You are a peacock Hero."

54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"

55. "I wasn't always like this."

56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."

57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."

58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."

59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."

60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."

61. "Gag her."

62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."

63. "Talk now or she dies."

64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."

65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."

66. "The police are coming."

67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"

68. "I love you." "I don't."

69. "Hug me just one last time."

70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."

71. "They won't be able to walk again."

72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."

73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"

74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."

75. "I'm really tired..."

76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."

77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."

78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."

79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."

80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."

81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"

82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."

83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."

85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."

86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."

87. "An injection of valium will do it."

88. "There's no anesthesia."

89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"

90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."

91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."

92. "Join me and we can be great."

93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."

94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."

95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."

96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."

97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."

98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."

99. "I know everything about you."

100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."

101. "What did you give me?"

102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."

103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."

104. "How hard did you punch me?"

105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."

106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."

107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."

108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."

109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."

110. "Hugs are overrated."

111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."

112. "I wish we could turn back time."

113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."

114. "Make a wish." "That you live."

115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."

116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."

117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."

118. "Supervillain is in danger!"

119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."

120. "My head is killing me."

121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."

122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."

123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."

124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"

125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."

126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."

127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"

128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."

129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."

130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."

131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."

132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."

133. "Just shut up and listen!"

134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."

135. "She turned it around... at the end."

136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."

137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."

138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."

139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."

140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."

141. "If only it was that easy."

142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"

143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."

144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."

145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."

146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"

147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."

148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."

149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."

150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."

151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."

152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."

153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."

154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."

155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."

156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."

157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"

158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."

159. "I formally apologize."

160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."

161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."

162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."

163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"

164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."

165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."

166. "Say your goodbyes."

167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."

168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"

169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"

170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"

171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."

172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."

173. "We have a breach!"

174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"

175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."

176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."

177. "Don't overuse your powers."

178. "This is just an unfortunate event."

179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."

180. "His fever is rising."

181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."

182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."

183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."

184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."

185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."

186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."

187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."

188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."

189. "This is for your own good, I promise."

190. "I'm cold."

191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."

192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"

193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."

194. "I want a kitten."

195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."

196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."

197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."

198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."

199. "Life is too short for pleasures."

200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."

#heros and villains #ask game #200 followers #thank you so much

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candorarchives · 3 years

Text

Confession (Part 3)

Author’s Note: Finally this saga comes to a close. Thank you to Vyn nation for inspiring me to finish this, and my insomnia. Shoutout to @gloryofluv (ie the reason why this AU blossomed the way it is)

Previous parts: Part 1 Part 2 We ended up in the catacombs. If I were alone, I’d say we’d be right on track. But seeing Rosa’s scared face made me think otherwise. It reminded me of an online romance novel that was heavily promoted on my timeline—not that I’d ever read such things, but because she had used my phone once. I’ll ask her about it when we get out.

“Father...where are we?”

“The catacombs.” Good. No one followed us. “Though I must say, my dear...you look ravishing.” My throat had started to strain a tad from all the conscious effort to mask my voice. It’s refreshing to speak in my normal voice.

“You sound...familiar….” I wasn’t looking at her, but the hesitation was evident in how she didn’t want to go another step further. “Have we met?”

“That depends,” I said. “Do you recall the escape room?”

“Wouldn’t forget it for the world....oh no.” A quick glance confirmed my suspicions. Her whole being was shaking and cheeks blushing...didn’t help that she was in her usual attire. “Dr. Richter….you were the priest?!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice right away.”

“Artem sent me. Said that you were taking too long.”

A sigh escaped me. Of course he was getting impatient. It’s already hard enough to work undercover without having to look dead inside working at the church and he was getting impatient? He’s lucky Rosa is his co-worker sometimes. I’ve only started to notice the little details in Rosa’s attire...like how her pin looked off. Wait a second. “Fascinating,” I said while holding her hand.

Rosa looked more flushed than usual, her body heating up. Please don’t tell me she has a fever...but then, finding out you just confessed to someone in the guise of absolving sin is quite a day to remember. “So that’s why you were fidgeting during your confession.”

“You...noticed?”

We were at least a few meters from the exit. Hopefully. “There were slits in the booth. You had several panicked gestures.” I continued on, taking her hand in mine to quicken the pace. “I presumed it was nervousness, but they had a pattern to them, so it must be a means of communication—a safeword of some sorts.”

“Artem thought of everything….” If we weren’t seeing each other every other day I’d give him another lecture on how to not suffocate a rose. But that would have to be for later. “I didn’t place the audio properly though, so it snapped after a few incorrect tugs.”

I chuckled a bit at that. Thank God Artem didn’t hear a word of what she said. “If it was this easy to bait you into a confession, I should’ve done it on our next date,” a small smirk accentuating the sentence.

Her face was redder than ever. “Dr. Richter, please—I...I was told to get creative...I didn’t expect I’d be confessing to you of all people!” The stammering was cute, honestly...another sign that what she said was not just an act. “And...besides...I’m pretty sure I’m not your type.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m pretty sure there’s better people out there.”

I turned to her, arching my eyebrows a tad. “But are they you, though?”

Her silence was all I needed. “Dr. Richter….”

A small smirk formed on my face. “No one is as quick-witted as you nor as creative. You were given a situation and you ran with it.” Cupping her face in my hands, I continued on. “You are more than just “a type”—you’re a taste of heaven on earth.”

If it weren’t for the dimmed lights of the catacombs, I’d kiss her right now. But it wasn’t appropriate. It’s a deafening silence. Is my message reaching out? It’s only a few meters away. “Heaven on earth? Really now?”

“I thought love at first sight was merely theory, but seeing the evidence...who knew it would strike at such an most auspicious moment?”

Rosa only looked in disbelief. “Are you saying—”

My hand grazed her cheek, letting her face turn even redder. I held one of her hands with my free hand, looking at her directly in the eye. “Yes, I am. I’m not playing a role.” I pointed to the vestments I was wearing. “This isn’t because of the circumstances, or how we’ve been forced into an intimate situation.” I continued on. “And I find your concoction of contradictions to be more than addicting.”

“—Vyn, I….” It was in her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat—and so did mine. If I were to try and reconcile the disparity between us it would take more than a night. “Forgive me, I got carried away.”

“Actually, I’d prefer if you’d refer to me as Vyn from now on....it fits the nature of our relationship more, no?”

“Yea...it does,” she replied. “It fits us perfectly.”

My thoughts weren’t really too focused on the present, honestly. Though my position was now compromised, I had more than enough information to implicate the church. But...the greatest evidence from this case was not the first hand witness of the initiation, nor the footage of how one of my clients had fallen in the name of penance...though they were important...something had trumped them.

It was her confession. Her feelings given without inhibition that sparked something anew. Maybe God was merciful for once. Light was in sight, and this whole ordeal would be behind us. But what came after was just the beginning of something new.

#Mo Yi #mo yi AU #mo yi x mc #TOT Vyn #vyn richter #Tears of Themis #tears of themis vyn #tot fanfic #tot #vyn x mc

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samiwok · 4 years

Note

hello! can you write a scenario or hcs for sakusa? like atsumu flirts with y/n constantly and somehow they're close so sakusa thinks y/n has feelings for atsumu y'know. so he feels kinda inferior to atsumu. but ends up fluffy with sakusa please!! i hope it makes sense hshksgsns ♡

// Why.

— Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

5 am in the morning.

Sakusa opened his eyes to look at a grey ceiling barely lightened. The lanterns on the street were obviously still on. The night was surrounding everything. He was tired. Tired for having a bad night. No nightmares, no dreams neither. Insomnia. As far as he could remember, Sakusa never really had problems to fall asleep. Yet last night he couldn’t find it. He couldn’t find the sleep he needed to appear motivated and relaxed at his training session.

What are they going to think ? He thought of you immediately. Were you going to think he stayed awake talking to another person ? We’re you going to think he had someone in his life more important than you ? No. He didn’t want to think about it.

He jumped off his bed, walking in direction of the bathroom. Boiling water to wake him up. He rubbed his face with his both hands, forehead leaning against the wall. The water falling on his back was relaxing. Eyes closed, he opened then all of a sudden when he felt he was falling asleep again. He cut off the water, and seized a towel. A warm one to dry his tensed wet body.

“Why ?” He said to himself while staring at his tired face on the mirror. He passed his hands on his face one more time, cold water flowing from his fingers to truly wake up and prepare himself to go.

“OMI-KUN !” you screamed on the other side of the road. When he heard your soft voice screaming his nickname he pinched his lips in a discreet smile. He turned his face in your direction as you were walking toward him. When you seized his arm, he frowned.

“Ew sorry. I forgot.” You brought your hand to the back of your head, rubbing it. Your lips were forming an awkward smile saying sorry

You forgot huh ? More like you don’t care Kiyoomi thought. Not that he didn’t like your touches, he knew you were a clean person otherwise he wouldn’t allow you to get that close to him. But still.

“Omi ! Yn ! Let’s go to the gym together shall we ?” Atsumu asked; appearing from nowhere. And just like always you’re smiling. Smiling to him, touching him because he’s not like Sakusa who always asks for some distance between each other. You’re right in front of him, walking next to Atsumu and gripping to his arm. Humming some stupid tiktok song and of course Atsumu knows it and you’re singing together.

How frustrating.

Sakusa was walking behind you all this time: all he had in front of him, was the gym and a head down his view. You were smaller than him, that’s why whenever you were talking to him he had to low his head to look at you.

How cute.

Sakusa liked you. He didn’t know when it began. He didn’t know why. But he knew he did. And just like he knew that, he also knew how close you were with his teammate. How could he not notice that ? You two were spending a lot of time together. And right now you were acting like a young couple. And somehow.. it was hurting him.

“Oh already, I’ll have to leave you guys...” you whined. How childish Sakusa thought about your reaction: and while he was silently judging you, Atsumu him, didn’t miss the opportunity. By the time they passed together now; Sakusa could even guess what would be his exact words.

Babe you can still date me later if you need me that much

“Babe you can still date me later if you need me that much” the blonde said, making you blush. You hit his chest softly

Idiot

“You idiot” you said

There it goes.

It was always that way. Sakusa got used to it now. He knew the two of you very well. That’s why he wasn’t saying anything about his feelings. It’s probably better for everyone here if he was keeping it hidden from you, from Miya, even from himself.

“Kiyoomi !” You shouted louder than before. It’s been a few times since you were trying to get Sakusa’s attention but he was lost in his thoughts. He blinked and hummed, giving you all his attention. You laughed.

How beautiful.

“I was just saying to Atsumu it could be cool to eat all together right after, ill tell Ko’ and Shōyō, will you come with us ?” You asked, secretly hoping he’d agree.

“Mhh, no I think I’ll go home right after practice” he answered coldly. Atsumu wrapped his arm around his shoulders in a friendly way, showing nothing but a mocking smirk on his lips.

“You sure Omi-Omi ?” He asked, his brows raised

“I am. Get off me rat.” Sakusa stated. He detached himself from Atsumu’s embrace, and kept on walking towards the gymnasium. Leaving you and Atsumu alone together.

“What is wrong with him today ?” You asked to Atsumu, wishing for an answer. Sakusa was always the cold one. He was always the irritated one. But today he seemed to be upset for a new reason. Not knowing it was you, you got worried.

A few hours passed, Atsumu had left you to go training with the others. You were sitting in the stands. Waiting for the guys to finish and when they finally were done after 4 hours. It was finally time to eat. You ran in their direction, but mostly in Kiyoomi’s direction. You were about to say something but his hands cut you almost immediately.

“Later. I’m taking my shower now.”

Atsumu shrugged to the evident interrogation on your face.

In the shower, Sakusa was mentally scolding himself. Why was he that way ? Insensitive. Irritated and irritating n the same time. While you were just a small mountain of joy, humor and cuteness. Yeah he was soft for you. Sakusa Kiyoomi was soft. Then why Atsumu seemed better for you ? Why you seemed to feel better when in his company ?

Jealousy.

Jealousy was making Sakusa think he wasn’t the one for you. Jealousy was making him act weird when close to you. Was he..intimidated ? Him ? Sakusa Kiyoomi ? How could he even deal with this feeling ? He was usually so confident, and now he was reduced to a shy and loving mess.

WHY ?

He wanted to scream. He refused your invitation, he was letting all the occasions to Atsumu. As he was starting to tell himself not to keep going like that. He heard you.

“I know you’re in there Kiyoomi ! Listen to me you huge idiot, you’re going to come with us to eat soi you better be ready soon.”

“Yn-san ! Get out of here he’s washing you know how he is !” The soft voice of Hinata made Sakusa laugh. Yeah he was known as the terrifying member from the team.

You were... in the locker room..? How bold. He didn’t know this side of your personality. Anyways he quickly washed himself, and got out to dress. When he walked out the locker room, you were standing here. Alone, and facing him.

“What took you that long ?” You asked but he purposely ignored your question to ask another. “Where are the others ?”

“Well... they were starving and impatient so they already left. Looks like it’s going to be the two of us for today.” You laughed kinda embarrassed “also...sorry for entering the locker room while you were uhm.. taking your shower”

You couldn’t notice it because of his mask but he was smiling.

How funny.

He definitely liked you. It was hard for him to admit it to himself and it would probably take a long time before he admits it to you. But at least he now was being completely honest with himself.

“Let’s go” he stated, starting to walk away from the gym with his bag on his back.

“Omi, your hand.” He was holding your hand during the way. You knew he hates germs and contact, which is why it surprised you to the point where you thought it was an accident.

“I know.” He was smiling behind his mask, a huge smile this time. You noticed it and couldn’t help but tease him a little.

“Went to the bathroom earlier and didn’t wash my hands...” he took his hands off immediately and lost his smile almost as fast as it appeared on his face.

“You could have told me !”

How disgusting.

You let out a loud laugh. Looking at him, confused.

“Omi it was a joke I always wash my hands, why would you jump back like that” you were still laughing but he was not. Obviously; the joke wasn’t very funny to him. He slipped his hands in his pockets.

“Fine Im still not holding your hand anymore, you brat”

You whined, just like a child, and passed your both arms around his right arm, pressing you against him: you weren’t in a comfortable position, and he noticed it of course.

“Idiot.”

“Your idiot Omi”

“Yeah mine”

> general taglist ; @sepirayanii @bokukiyoom @sayakaaaaaa @yeahhemmings- @yams046 @bap-kingdom @lyzzklm @onlyshinji @jabby16 @aquariarose @mindofess @strawhatshepard @fortheloveofiwaizumi @flrtykawas @strawberriimilkshake @cactuski6 @dearest-kiyoomi @namyari @peateaa

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nightshadedawn · 3 years

Text

Writing prompts!!

Select one of the prompts and a ship and I'll write 300 words for it! I'll keep this open for a week!

Prompts are broken up into categories and further numbered within those categories to help everyone quickly find prompts, so please either give me the category and number of prompt or the prompt itself.

Fuck

"Fuck you." "You know what, [name], I've been trying but you haven't been cooperating." "What."

"I don't hate you." "You bought an entire fucking island to avoid me so we wouldn't be roommates our second year of college." "It obviously didn't work out well because we still ended up in Art History together."

"I'm fucked, I'm screwed. I'm gonna faaaaiillll."

"Well, fuck me and leave me to bleed."

"You're crazy." "Yeah, I'm fucking insane!"

"I have fucking questions!"

"You sir- are fucking hilarious."

"I love you but you're a fucking idiot."

"Love- fuck off."

"I'm cute as all fuck, but I'm an asshole if you piss me off."

"Insomnia's a real fucker, you know?"

"Fuck it- just- breathe! Breathe, damnit!"

"You and your bisexual ass can get the fuck out of here."

"Let's fuck the world over, 'cause that's all we're good for."

"Fuck it. We're not done yet."

"Occasionally I tell people to go fuck themselves just to mess with their puny lives."

"I didn't want anyone else. Fuck it, I just wanted YOU."

"You're a fucking bisexual disaster. Don't at me, brah."

"I'm just a sad, mostly human being that doesn't know what they're doing with their life." "Only mostly?" "Granny honestly got it on so who knows what the fuck Mom is."

"I don't mind if you call me a freak, just don't say it to my face. That's really rather rude." "You're a fucking idiot." "Yes, I've been told."

"I'm DONE! I'm done acting happy, I'm done pretending to be okay, I'm DONE playing this game. I am so. Fucking. DONE. With shits like you! Don't ever come near me again."

"The only reason I kept fighting was because of the people I cared about! And you took them all away from me! I'm not done fighting yet! I'm not done fucking fighting until your body is rotting in the fucking ground!"

"Giving a fuck what other people think about you is like giving them control of your life."

"Please don't pretend to give a fuck about me. I know better now."

"They said I can't." "Well, fuck 'em." "What?" "You're not weak. It's your life. Fuck 'em. Do what you want."

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you. Which is to say I don't. I can't. I'm weak as all fuck."

"I'm as cute as a cucumber. Wait, fuck, that's a kiwi."

Shit

"When you're a sarcastic piece of shit but people keep falling in love with you anyway."

"My sister is a huge piece of shit." "Awe, that's not nice. What'd the shit ever do to you?"

"Shit aside, this isn't the worst plan put into motion."

"Literally no one cares about that shit."

"I'm not a bitch, I'm an asshole. Guys still want to screw me even if all I spew is shit."

"Congratulations! You're in deep shit."

"You've shown great aptitude for bullshitting."

"Shit... I don't... I don't know why I'm crying... Just please don't leave me alone..." "Never."

"I'm one of those people that people regularly tell me not to do stupid shit and I do it anyway."

"I've lived my life watching through windows. I'm ready to go break shit now."

"I promise, I'm okay."

"You expect me to believe that bullshit!?"

"I'm just getting a little tired of having to deal with this shit!"

"Hey, I'm kinda feeling like shit tonight. You think you could... come cuddle me?"

"I don't see myself as someone who breaks promises, spills secrets, or tells lies. I'm not a great person like that statement would suggest. I just don't talk to people enough, and when I do, I don't give enough of a shit to care."

Asshole

"'Cause sometimes, people are just assholes no one else cares about."

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to-" "Now why don't I believe you?" "Because I'm an arrogant prick and an asshole." "At least you're aware of your short comings."

"No, I'm not getting high off lemonade. What are you drinking, bitch?"

"If you're not sucking cock for the fun of it, I don't know what you're doing with your life."

"Ten out of ten. Would bang again." "Please stop." "Love you, babe."

Forget

"I haven't quite forgiven you for that." "No, I don't expect you did."

"The most unforgettable stories are also the most unbelievable, don't you know?"

"I don't need you to hold me like it's okay to forget. I need you to hold me like it's okay to remember, to hold on, and then to let go."

"Sometimes people forget... I'm not normal."

"The world is a wonderful, beautiful, amazing place. That's why it doesn't matter if in thirty years, no one remembers us."

"I want you to remember what it felt like to fight against me."

"Do you remember what it was like when we were young and alright?"

"Do you remember what I promised? That we'd always be together. I don't break promises. Not to anyone, but never to you. As long as you'll have me, I'll be right here. So please, let me stay."

"I want you to remember this feeling; it will follow you all your life."

"Why don't you remember ANYTHING I said!?"

Pain

"Don't you ever wish we could ever be something different? Like, I don't know. Something less hellish?" "I don't know. Sometimes I welcome the pain."

"I just get so restless, and I can't stop moving, and when I have to sit down and focus... it's really hard because I just want to be up. It's genuinely painful when it strikes in the middle of class or something."

"Pain is what made me human."

"You don't understand all the pain we went through to get where we are now."

"I will break, I will burn, but I will not let you hurt me."

"Listen to me and this broken heart of mine."

"It's not your fault you've been hurt before."

"I don't enjoy hurting people." "Could'a fooled me."

"Does it hurt?" "Always."

“It’s not me you have to worry about killing you if you hurt our daughter, it’s my wife.” “Oh, honey, you know me so well.”

"I knew from the beginning I'd never be able to hurt you."

"I shouldn't care. Caring only hurts."

"Sometimes when people get hurt, they shut themselves away. They push away people and the things that hurt them. But I think it's more interesting when they fight back. Revenge is a bitter tale, but it's a more interesting story told."

"I don't want to fall in love. Falling means you get hurt. I want to grow. I want to grow to love someone, see them at their smallest and grow into their mightiest. I want to grow to love, because when something grows, it never stops growing."

"My head feels heavy and my heart just hurts."

"Don't stress the small stuff. It only makes your brain hurt."

"In the end, we were made of blood that could be spilt and bones that could be broken."

"'Broken,' he'd promised. And 'broken' he'd become."

Death

"I have been scared of many things. Surprisingly, my death has never been one of them."

"They're both very strong willed, bull headed, "death to all those who defy me" kind of people."

"Even the bravest close their eyes when facing Death."

"Death seems like the best option right now." "No. No, it does not."

"Touch my phone and you accept Death as your new best friend."

"You tend to just find death everywhere you go. Isn't that a problem?"

"Death is not a good look on you, honey."

"I've got about a hundred years worth of death on my hands and isn't that great?"

"Death comes to all those who wait for it."

"Murder, death, and mayhem are my favorite things to write about."

"You are an angel of death by association. This is your duty."

"I hope you've got some kind of special armor under that dress, 'cause with the way you're surrounded, if you don't, you're gonna die."

"We're gonna die." "That's the plan."

"How many times must she die before you're satisfied?!"

"This time, I'm not letting you die for me."

"Someone's gonna die tonight, but it ain't gonna be me."

"Fine. I'll let you die. I'll just have to bring you back to life."

"But why'd you have to die?"

"If I die, it's officially Your Fault."

"Welp. time to die again,"

"No! No! You don't get to die! You don't get to die and leave me alone!"

"Don't ask me that! Don't do that!" "Why?" "Because everyone knows that when you talk about the future right before a big battle, you're gonna die!"

"When it comes down to it, I want you to make sure I die."

"How did you save them?" "Easy- I died."

"I would live and die for you, but I'd never kill."

"We are not gods. But I shall die like one anyway."

"There was a time when I swear I was just waiting to die."

"I'd rather destroy myself than let her die for me."

"The truth is- I'm just tired of watching you die."

"I've died so many times, and I'm still falling for you."

"I am so done with children." "You have nine." "And I would die for each and every one of them."

"It's a miracle in itself that you haven't died yet."

"The explosion killed thousands. How are you alive?"

"You bother me." "I can't imagine why." "Surely it has nothing to do with the fact you've killed hundreds of people including my family. That couldn't possibly be it."

"I trust you, but the question is, do you trust me?" "I trust you not to get yourself killed." "I think you might be asking a little too much."

"How are you going to tell your sister you killed her best friend?" "I'm not." "That's no way to start a relationship."

"You are legit trying to kill me." "Oh darling, if I really wanted to kill you, I wouldn't be trying. You'd be dead already."

"I'm pretty sure I killed someone. But then again, I could be wrong."

"I'm going to kill someone." "Oh dear god, please be me."

"Ohhhhh, my sister's gonna kill me for this one."

"One time my sister tried to tell me I wasn't right. Valid, I wasn't. But I still tried to kill her anyway."

"Do what you will. But don't come crying to me if it kills you."

"Oh god, just kill me now." "As you wish."

"The next time somebody tries to kill, me, I'm gonna scream." "I should hope so?"

"This child threatened to kill me." "She threatened to burn the entire city to the ground. I don't see what your point is."

"We are all dead and it’s your fault!"

"Oh look. The sun is shining, nobody is dead- today's gonna be a good day."

"I swore I wouldn't do it again. But here I am. Wishing all of them dead."

"I guess being dead wasn't good enough for you. You wanted to erase me from history too."

"Who even knows if we'll be alive tomorrow?"

"What story did they tell you?" "That'd I'd never make it out alive."

"And if I refuse?" "Well, *chuckle* don't suppose you'll get out of this alive."

"You just need to survive."

"The world is a cruel, unfair place. But it's the one we live in, so we gotta do what we can to survive."

"You've done your best to destroy me, but I survived all along."

"I survive because there is nothing else I could do."

"The world didn't want me. But I survived anyway."

"I think I'm more surprised that you're telling me this than the fact that you survived it."

"We exist in this time and place. This isn't the end."

"You hide it in the corners of your mind like it doesn't exist."

"Once upon a time, there was a girl. A regular, ordinary type of girl. The kind of girl... that no longer exists."

"In any other world, we would not exist."

"Hell exists in ways you don't expect it to."

"I exist in your eyes, but not in your life."

"You weren't supposed to exist."

"I suppose that magic exists. In some way or another."

"Time is inconsequential. Unreal. It doesn't exist. All that exists is the here and now."

"The world only exists the way we want it to."

"The world need not know you exist. More importantly, the world need not know you exist as you do."

"Who's dying this time?"

"I've existed long enough to know this is a very bad idea."

"We only sort of exis

"There's something beautiful in the way you look at the world like nothing else exists."

"We exist to be tempered into impossible weapons."

"I am aware of worlds and things that should not exist."

"The difference you have to learn about the past and future is that the future gives us a reason to keep living... the past only exists to hold us back."

"You are the bane of my existence." "I'm the bane of existence in general."

"How many times have I thought about dying? Too many."

My entire life you've made me cry. All you're doing now is making me cry again.

"My room's a mess. Kinda like my life. But nobody's complaining about that."

"My life was wonderful. But it was better without you in it."

When life gives ya lemons, we find someone who has vodka and makes martinis.

"She's living her life in monochrome."

"There are some things in life that just get you down. And then there's her."

"I've been wrong all my life. This is just another instance, isn't it?

"Home is not a place. It's a feeling. Feeling of contentment, life, respect, safety. That is home."

"I live off of two things: spite and validation. I live to spite those who say I can't, but I need validation from those who say I can."

"Please don't live for tomorrow. Live for today."

"My favorite kind of people are the ones who live for themselves, and not for anyone else."

I knew we'd live forever.

"There's not enough time on Earth to see everything. We could go back a billion years and live every moment up to now, and even then we wouldn't see everything." "Nah. But with you, I'd like to try. I feel like I could do anything with you by my side."

#persona 5 #pegoryuann #pegoryu #shuann #yutaba #sk8 the infinity #matchablossom #renga #bnha #bakudeku #kirikami #iidachako #todomomo #if you have questions about another show or ship send me an ask because I honestly am terrible at tagging and i might still be into it #haikyuu!!#kagehina #asanoya #daisuga #honestly most haikyuu ships i just don't know most of their names

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