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#someone let me sleep *cries*
fictionadventurer · 3 months
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The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.
#basically lately anytime i read a christian fiction book that isn't romance-based i find myself surprised by the quality#i do think that some christian publishers are getting better#and trying to tell stories that dig deeper into real faith and messy issues#instead of making only vapid squeaky clean prayer-filled tropefests#but i'm not sure *how much* better#because anything above the low bar feels like great literature#the most recent is 'in a far-off land' by stephanie landsem#and let me tell you setting the prodigal son in 1930s hollywood is a genius concept#i have some issues with the history and the mystery#but the characters!#it has been a long time since i cried this hard over a book#several chapters of solid waterworks#(and i also have the issue of figuring out if it's actually that moving or if i'm just hormonal/sleep-deprived)#i keep thinking about this book but also i worry about recommending because what if it's actually terrible by normal book standards?#(also the author DOES NOT understand the seal of confession and i was SHOCKED to find that she's actually catholic)#but also looking at the reviews makes it clear that if most of christian fiction is vapid garbage it's these reviewers' fault#here you have something that's digging into sin and darkness and justice and mercy and these people are just#'how can it call itself christian fiction if it only mentions god at the end?'#are we reading the same book this WHOLE THING is about god! and humanity and our fallen nature and how this breaks relationships!#your pearl-clutching anytime someone tries to get even a tiny bit realistic is destroying this genre#i'm gonna run out of tags so i'll stop now
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flockrest · 8 months
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this one's to the lovely who dropped an entire essay back @ me in the inbox! i've decided to format the post such that i can answer some portions directly so none of us get confused, hope you don't mind! anything indented is what you sent in, the rest is part of my response :) it's another doozy but we love those, don't we? asflkdj here we go!
Hi, hope you're doing well! I'd been the anon giving you asks more on Revali's personality and his behavior around the Flock and the Flock's reaction (mostly Tulin's) towards him. Also, the 1.6k did not overwhelm me- if anything made me very happy and overall more curious ahahaha. If anything- thank you so much for accepting and taking the time to answer these asks. Can relate to the unhinged feelings over the lonely rito- I could be hours and hours thinking. That gif of the guy with a board behind full of clues and trying to connect the dots- that's currently me.
hello, welcome back! thank you, hope you're having a wonderful time too!! ♡ also gotta thank you again for sending these in, i genuinely get so excited to see things like this in my inbox!! your passion is so great to see! i'm glad you enjoy my answers, and that they make you all the more curious and open to sharing with me ♡ what a huge mood though afklsjdg this stupid bird just has So Much to him
I've re-read your post various times and even tried organizing my thoughts in paper. And there is so much I want to ask... What caught a lot my attention- was how you spoke a bit of Rito village during & after the Calamity; ofc we don't really get a clear picture of the before even with AoC's light but we do get the clearest view of the aftermath of it (ofc 100 years skipped). I do feel (Pre-Calamity) Rito Village had a larger flock(?) compared to the village we get exposed during BoTW/ToTK events. In a way feels the loss of their Champion & Calamity's wrath- made them all realize the importance of that sense of unity.
yes, exactly! you get it! it's a natural outcome from suffering any huge loss...and while it comes from a place of tragedy, i just. really appreciate how homely and cosy rito village feels in both botw and totk because of it — you get that sense of nobody is genuinely uncared for, even link! and this isn't to say that the other peoples of hyrule don't care for their own, it just! hits different with the rito. like you get the impression that everybody interacts with each other everyday! you literally can't go from the top of the village to the bottom without seeing almost every single resident; they're all practically neighbours! they're all, on some level, friends!
this significance on sticking together as a community is especially evident in totk. seriously, it makes me so emo seeing the kids step up to fill in spaces the adults did not mean to leave behind nor expect them to fill :') and their efforts don't go unrecognised, as they shouldn't be, but oh my god. on my hands and knees over how cherished the kids are in this damn flock!! nekk ( MY BELOVED ) puts it best: "they're the saviours of this village."
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and like! they're going through extremely hard times with supply scarcities but still find the capacity to be so generous?? there are more things than i expected lying about that you can just grab — that they'll consciously let you grab! i'm going to need these folks to stop having such a huge collective heart fr it's making me feel A Lot 😭
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( and in reviewing cutscenes from both botw and aoc in this context, i think we can safely say that their residential population was indeed bigger pre-calamity. there's more background npcs just chilling about in the memory "revali's flap" compared to most post-calamity cutscenes, and aoc literally shows that there are enough rito present for brigades! the reduced numbers we see post-calamity could simply be attributed to more rito travelling beyond their home and even hyrule, but then the calamity would probably be a big reason for that too )
Brings me back to ToTK, where I noticed most adults in a way spoke highly & relied (at least to me) a bit on Tulin's ability to use wind magic- after all it's been a long time since they ever witness it. But also appreciated how Harth's dialogues which he praises the boy's ability but is concerned of how Tulin is taking certain approach (how at first he goes alone) and his overworking state. Even Teba & Saki recognize their son's abilities but as parents are concerned- I am pretty sure while they acknowledge him as a rito warrior, they also want him to continue living his childhood. (Link does too btw- sorry I don't mention them often)
OH, FOR SURE. you are right on many points here; for sure, the adults have come to see tulin as a young rito warrior in his own right and do trust him to contribute in a way they wouldn't ask of the other fledglings; harth makes it clear that even before link had come, sending tulin to investigate the cloud surrounding the stormwind ark was an option they weren't as opposed to as our introduction to the kid made it seem ( and it's not just his wind-gust technique they're so in awe of either! god. he really has worked so hard!! and everybody can see it! 😭😭 ).
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with the worry, i believe the nature of it really depends! it's all completely warranted given how tulin's initial views on how "he doesn't need anyone else backing him up" has apparently "gotten him into trouble more times than [harth] can count" ( which is definitely concerning but also. it can't be anything worse than getting his bow stolen and being left with just his talons for defence in the face of a monster, right? because tulin. tulin. that could not have been your turnaround if you've been doing shit like flying straight into frost taluses solo or something sflkjd ) anyway, but it seems for teba and harth, it's more in a we're worried you're actively sabotaging yourself with your recklessness way.
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saki had hang-ups about tulin losing his innocence too early in botw ( "he is such a sweet boy," she says, and it never fails to make me collapse on my knees because he so is and the best thing is he never loses that aspect of himself!! ), but does appear to have come to accept that her son's growing up in totk? i unfortunately don't have a screenshot of the line that indicates this, nor do i remember it verbatim, but the vibes i'm getting from her are i'm worried because you have not learnt enough to be as grown up as you insist you are ( which leaves you ill-prepared for the situations you're trying to fly into ).
ofc it all connects to a primary worry for his safety and his tendency to do way more than anyone would ask of him, but i do think they understand, on some level, that trying to completely stop him is ultimately futile and will only make things worse — in that he'll start deliberately pushing them away when he's only leaving them behind for now.
he's a tween! still a child but only ever getting older, and with how important it is to their culture, i imagine being a warrior isn't as mutually exclusive from childhood as it'd be for us. like tulin's an outlier because he's a prodigy who excessively worked himself to that title, but i don't doubt that compulsory education for growing fledglings would involve, among other things, learning how to at least hunt and defend yourself in the wild! so i don't think it's that they're scared of him growing up too fast at that point in totk — because while he's definitely matured more than his peers in some parts, he is very much still experiencing being a child no matter what he argues in many others aflskdj — just more like...they want him to grow up well. properly, for a lack of better words. WHICH INCLUDES NOT OVERWORKING. oh my god with the overworking
( also oh boy. very glad you brought up link! no need to be sorry! i can't say much on him because i'm not a link writer, though i do ramble about his dynamic with tulin, including how he potentially sees himself reflected in him, over here if you're interested! )
But this also sends me off to another "path" makes me think- What if Revali didn't have this type of support? And it made me think how similar were Revali's and Tulin's in some aspects but how different the outcome were for both- it's a bit tragic at least for me.
YES. YES!! THIS IS IT, YOU HIT IT ON THE HEAD!! i've said it before and i'll say it again: tulin and revali are essentially one support system removed from being each other! they share notable parallels!
just. the fact that harth notices the injuries on tulin's wings from pushing himself to the limits. we don't get follow-up dialogue on that, but there's such a high chance that Words are exchanged between them when link leaves them be because we've seen their relationship. we know how harth cares for tulin, we know tulin is loved for more than what he can do and looked out for. now juxtapose that with revali, thrown out of his own tornado, alone in that moment where he picks himself up as well — but way less likely to have anyone say anything about his wing injuries or to even let someone think he has them. [spontaneously combusts]
i would say more on this and why the sages of totk in general act well as foils to the champions of botw, particularly regarding themes, but that really does feel like a post for another time sdflkjd and it is tragic! it is very tragic! revali was doomed by the narrative in more ways than one :')
I remember the diary where he speaks how the town began praising him for his achievements- that type of validation can be good but to an extreme and left unchecked, it can spiral someone into depending of it. And yet at the end of that diary... he still spoke how he need to continue perfecting himself. Something that AoC made me think in more depth was how almost everyone was "chosen" by destiny (or have a unique ability) and carried a title. But when I look at Revali he seems somehow an abstract to them. Even though in his diary such things were not something he cared for- he mostly valued folks by their responses and actions. (Note: Found cute how he appreciated the scarf and gave one to his bow... It really meant a lot to him// Also I do think Revali appreciated all the Champions including Zelda & Link).
YEAH. YEP. and the way he at first speaks about it, how he contradicts himself in tone despite trying to sound so self-assured — "as one would expect" VS the "i...could get used to this." that follows in the same entry — that's the attention and glory he's always wanted! now he's gonna affix it to the meaning of loving and being loved. which he's also going to attach to his abilities and what he can offer, which is deeply connected to his perceived self-worth. and he's going to make sure he'll never run out of ( tbf real and well-earned ) confidence in that self-worth by constantly pushing himself to greater, more impossible heights. i'm going to put this bird in a washing machine.
he's literally just a guy!! it's one of my favourite things about him, he's Just Some Guy in the group of people who were born into wealth; powers; blessings; respect. they all had their trials, but he earned his place among them from the comparative nothing he started out with and he's justifiably proud of this!
i do think he's also insecure about it at first, tbh ( which he reacts to by laying on the conceit even thicker ), even though his belief in hard work being a supreme indicator of one's "true strength" isn't actually shaken. he is genuinely like i more than deserve to be here but he's also like. and there's nothing you can do about it. don't you forget it. don't you forget it. don't you ever forget it. i wouldn't say it mellows out, but the more he gets to see the champions in action ( thus confirming that they are on his level — that he's fit to make a constellation amongst these that've already been mapped ), the less inclined he feels to explicitly remind them.
and oh my god. the things i could say about what the blue scarf likely means to him. it was handcrafted by zelda, hyrule's princess, for him specifically. it's part of a matching set with other big powers of hyrule. titles and uniform do nothing for him, he claims, but isn't this like being told you are one of us? that you have much to offer? it's "meaningless pomp", he says.
it's also still a gift.
the cloth he ties to his bow is the same shade of blue. i should really make another study post speaking about this more in depth, but i've always interpreted it to be a memento the same way teba and saki's feathers on tulin's quiver are! in tulin's time, this might mean, "these people are always with me." in revali's time, on the brink of a calamity, i imagine it might mean, "( if i fall, you who finds me, ) i belonged with these people."
And yet when Teba & Tulin show up- there is this subtle change on him(?) I wished the game had dwelled a bit more on Teba and Revali. Seeing their interactions was always interesting and in a way, Teba seemed to understand the rito champion. While I felt Teba was that friend or even family member(?) that Revali needed in a way or I could be just over reading, ahaha sorry. But sincerely, I always felt Teba & Tulin were that family or friends- that in a way Revali needed and it makes me think so hard on the "What ifs" and "What could have been"...
what i wouldn't have given for more content and interactions between these three as well!! it's especially fascinating to think about it from teba's side — there is so much recontextualising he has to do and does do about revali, because the one he's grown up idolising and hearing Songs about is uh. well, he's certainly there in the revali he meets, but i doubt he's really prepared for things like how painfully young he is.
he handles it very well honestly asfklsdjg i would not have taken to the realisation that my champion is a warrior hardened only by constant work and the battles he throws himself into, and kind of a fucking brat because he's like the 18yo who thinks being 18 is a decade away from being 17, and died distressingly young back in my timeline with the same grace he gives when he says — of the entire wild experience that is aoc — "this has been enlightening".
you are not over-reading, do not be sorry fr!! i do think revali found an opportunity for companionship in teba that he couldn't find anywhere else when he's built relationships and dynamics he can't change because he has an image to uphold! teba already comes with a dire respect for revali, the knowledge that his story does not end nicely, AND HE'S AN ACTUAL DAD. that sort of thing can bleed into your behaviour and the way you process things without meaning to asflkdjgs
THE BIGGEST MOOD!! wow i'm so glad writers ( it's me, i'm writers ) can create literally anything they want and so can explore these what ifs and what could have beens and give a resolution to a story cut short. this is what my the champions survive au is all about, i hope to have you stay long enough to see these things come out of it ♡
As for the Flight Range & Saki's dialogue; I've always been emo about the F.Range specially when you walk in and hear his theme playing in this music box style... it's like part of his soul is also there but that flame that burnt passionately has subdued and waits to pass to torch to the next generation. In ToTK it made me cry- specially when Kaneli comments (when you pick the bow,arrows) how they been collecting dust... But on the bright side, made me happy that even with the damages- they still hold dearly to the place and is currently being used as training grounds for flight. Which... is what Revali wanted for his people for them to reach the sky and break the limits (or that how I interpreted it).
AUGH EXACTLY, YOU GET IT!! 😭 he never gave it his name but it'll always be his! it's the most melancholic we ever get to hear his theme, full of the wistful yearning that was definitely present but more muted in its botw version! it's lost potential. an unsaid goodbye. revali's gone. but it's also grounds for hope, a tiptoeing hello: his legacy lives on still! i will always go fucking feral over the music in these games!!
YES!! YEAH!! [HOLDING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS] he calls his journal "the diary of revali, the rito legend" BUT HE DOES NOT. GIVE THE FLIGHT RANGE LITERALLY MADE FOR HIM HIS NAME. because it was never going to be something solely for him. he loves his people, he was never going to stymie their prospects! this loser is so good at making me infuriatingly sad AUGH
Re-reading Saki's dialogue with the context you given me- hit me like a ton of bricks. Because it was a new pov. When I first read her dialogue, I took it more of a "Remembering our Champion- one we couldn't help" rather than "commemoration of what he couldn't do". But I also remembered how contrasting are Teba and Saki; Teba being a warrior with pride, reckless at times - who admired greatly Revali's feats and aspired once to surpass him. Meanwhile Saki is more calm and is concerned with the concept of engaging battle- nervous about the training her son was exposed to. So, when re-reading her dialogue I take it more of a wife and mother concerned of losing her companion/husband and son to a similar fate to Revali's.
i swear we are on the same wavelength. yes, exactly!
another thing about revali's landing that makes me so, so deliriously emo — it's a physical permanency given without request: in the best way they can afford to grant it. the rito notably have very little tangible representations of themselves. they don't have statues or effigies like the zora or gorons ( and why would they, when they have Songs and the Windlines and are also probably restricted by their morphology ), and revali does not have any family to be likened to. link remembers him through seeing the landing, which was there, a part of rito village, before it was ever deemed revali's. it wasn't made for him. but they gave it to him! and i'm!! [BLUBBERING]
Revali's love for his people and Rito Village- it breaks me. I can understand that sentiment of loving someone or something from a far (?) - Even when challenging W.Blight and listening to his lines (both english and spanish for me), one can hear that hidden sadness. It's hearing someone who wants to go back home. "But even so, it will always be my home." - the entirety of those lines really hit me so hard the first time I've heard them.
I KNOW. I KNOW. [head in hands] a century has passed and he can't fathom it. "there's no one left who would even know me." he sounds so struck by it, in both the original jpn and english audio, i want to wrap him up in a blanket and toast him like a marshmallow! how much of that is grief? how much of that is longing? how much of that is some strange solace, in knowing he's alone but there's nothing he could've done about it this time?
Also, it makes me glad seeing a Tulin who can see the good in Revali- even if the champion can have a bit of a thorn like exterior. I've read some of the threads! They been wonderful and brought me a lot of joy. It makes me happy to see Tulin taking flight and moving forward. When you mention your student-disciple, are you referring to Kido? I know there were two names but I've lost the post with the cups. I would love to hear about them all!
thank you!! it heartens me to know that you've dipped into some of my ic writing too! i hope you'll continue to enjoy your stay here!! ♡♡
SLFKJKSDLG SO I'VE CHANGED IT IN THE POST NOW, but i meant master-disciple! apologies for the confusion!! kido is an original character of mine who would actually rather fall into totori lake than be revali's student alfjsdkg but that's how it be when you're a kid with a complex, turned-less-than-pleasant background with the concept of revali. if you're interested and up for it, please do give his dossier and study tag a peek! this is by no means a request that you do; it's totally fine if you leave him be!
There so many questions and facts, I would love to talk about... but as I scrolled up- I noticed this is becoming a long one. I am so sorry. I'd been trying to simplify and cut a bit ;-; Plus, I know this blog is a multiverse but focused on Tulin and I don't want to bother. So once again, thank you so much for taking your time in answering these asks. If anything if you ever do the academic-paper length study on lonely birb, I'll run over to read it X'D !!! But I'd been enjoying everything of the meta- the studies on rito's culture and behaviour. Also been curious on your views on Kass taking the role of a bard... Yeah, looking forward to keep reading. Thank you once again.
please, never be sorry for giving me your thoughts, no matter how long they end up being!! i mean it! i enjoyed reading through every line, it means a lot to me that you'd take the time and energy to send something of this scale to me ♡ you did not bother and will not bother, i promise! any of my muses are up for discussion, and so are their people in general! i have an itch to talk about these birds at all times, lurkers like you give me a great scratch ♡
one more time, thank you for your kind words!! i'm so happy to know that my thoughts are received this well!!
KASS MY BELOVED. i'm not sure if you've seen my study on what Songs, Songkeepers, and Scriptweavers are, but if you have, then here's some paraphrased disco ramblings on my Thoughts on him! with how important a role he played in keeping and invoking memories of the champions in botw's dlc, i'm of the belief that he's rito village's primary Songkeeper! ahaha, on this note ( and this is more of a fun roleplaying easter egg than anything ): my botw verse is named Song of the Reclamation — i keep the headcanon that kass, specifically, writes this Song after the game's events tucked away with other misc. details that inform how i run things here :)
this is already long enough, so i think i'll end it here asfljkd but feel free to bounce your thoughts off me anytime! this has been an absolute pleasure, looking forward to seeing you in the inbox again whenever you drop by! thank you!! ♡
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yunogf · 7 months
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akidcalledalex · 1 year
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A QUICK DOODLE OF QUEST! MINTMOCHA CUZ I MISS HIM AND CUZ CHEMISTRY IS KILLING ME AND I NEEDED A BREAK
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*looks at you* I know I don't talk about him much but when I start talking I won't stop just wait till I completely finish his lore JUST WAIT-
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:]
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#my desire to b productive vs my desire to create horribly earnest narut0 drawings#its just. i have a scene in my head that's like way too complicated to draw. but im gonna draw it anyway#and its gonna haunt me bc the dialogue is clunky. but whatever im gonna do it. this weekend. that is#i said id work on more writing school stuff today but ah i didn't sleep much and i did lots of focusing all day so like#brain is sorta mush now#snd all i can thibk abt is how much i lov 1ruka being narut0s number one dad brother#i just want to create a million scenarios where 1ruka cries over how much of a good kid narut0 is and how much bullshit he has to deal with#i just want someone to feel that pain for him. i mean. i guess thats s4sukes deal. but it feels different coming from a parent#from 1ruka it feels more. i wanna protect u. and from s4suke it feels more. i understand. lets destroy the world together. make them pay#they r the true ultimate narut0 stans. narut0 defense squad. everyone else back the fuck off#k4kashi is a 2nd teir stan. only bc hes got his own weird bullshit in canon. in my head hes also on the narut0 elite defense squad#wtf am i talking abt. ugh i need to sleep. i have to talk to ppl tomorrow. ugh no i should work on stuff#agh. fucj it maybe ill just wake up at like 5am and work on it then. and shift into proper work mode at 9 or whatever#blah. i now understand why i was feeling so like normal before this. its bc i was well rested lmao. im not at familiar levels of#exhausted unstabled energy. lov that for me#unrelated
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yuribalisms · 2 years
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promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but
#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to#i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people#i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i#tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating#i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top#of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license#but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now#i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up#and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall#and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now#i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations#out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse'#like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the#no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and#scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that#'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the#other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that#i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life#something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet#and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me#so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF#i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now#but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and#i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand#i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two...#but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally#nothing else i could do#i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING#i'm tired of living
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crispfencer · 2 years
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I just want someone to tuck me into bed, is that too much to ask??
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eryanlainfa · 11 months
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Gosh I haven't drawn characters peacefully sleeping together in a cuddle pile this month ???? Shame. I should fix that up
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onlyswan · 7 months
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summary: in which jungkook is one of your greatest fears and you’re his achilles’ heel.
idol!jungkook x reader, est. relationship / fluff, angst / word count: 4.1k
content/warnings: i love you i want us both to eat well T_T sigh. oc has abandonment issues pls protect at all costs + oc is worried bc jk is working so hard :( + a worm (???) cameo. ily protective and hopeless romantic iw!jk <3 the ending 🥲💔 this drabble literally goes 📈📉
> in which masterlist!
note: *insert my melody mugshot scene* me if planting puzzle pieces in my drabbles + making oc cry (IM SORRY) were a crime. this was sm fun writing <3 i cried and laughed they’re so precious </3
“jungkook, baby?”
your silky voice fills the quiet apartment as you pad across the floor. you’re carrying your heeled mary janes by its straps, leaving you only in your white socks.
“babe?”
you frown as the seconds pass and you receive no response from your lover. there’s no music playing, no rustling somewhere in the kitchen or the living room. the lights are dim like they usually are, but the vivid colors are absent.
him? asleep at 9pm? jeon jungkook? it can’t be, but you’d be delighted to finally see him resting early if it was real.
and so, spurred by that tiny glimmer of hope, you carefully crack the bedroom door open, as if you’re fifteen again and you just came back from sneaking out of the house.
but you’re grown now; you live in a building with complete strangers for neighbors. you just got home from work, and you’re no longer used to sleeping alone because you share the bed with another person.
you find it empty. devoid of any creases, sign of life. as neat as a hotel room’s make believe that no one lived there until two hours prior.
the disappointment weighs down on your shoulders, causing them to drop.
he didn’t tell you he was going somewhere else after practice, you think to yourself as your lips permanently shape into a pout. what happened to going out with you for dinner?
agreeing, your empty stomach grumbles angrily.
maybe he got caught up at work. maybe he’s on his way home. maybe he’s on his way to the restaurant and he’s about to text you to come over. maybe he forgot about your plans and he’s having dinner with somebody else.
whatever the reason is, you’re too lazy and tired to whip up something edible on your own. with or without him, you’re going out and you’re stuffing your mouth full with rice and meat. after all, autumn is here, your dear old friend.
in search for a coat that will accompany you in your late-night stroll, you enter the walk-in closet and flip on the lightswitch.
you can count them with just your fingers— the amount of times you’ve felt this type of fear. absent eyes, melting spine, chills running to the top of your head down to your fingertips, mind racing with an overload of thoughts (it appears as a blank page, the same way that white is the presence of all colors of visible light). this fear… you associate it with impulsive mistakes, fire, police and ambulance sirens, and… empty closets.
jungkook’s side of the closet is empty.
clothes. shoes. bucket hats. beanies. belts. everything. gone.
but the floor is scattered with random pieces of clothing that look like they accidentally fell while someone was in a rush to pack them all in a bag. so in a rush that they didn’t even bother to pick them up.
your weak knees almost give way, but you force yourself to stumble backwards until your back hits the doorframe— you refuse to let yourself look like you’ve been carelessly discarded too.
not again. not again. not this goddamn vicious curse you thought you’ve already broken out of. not. again.
you blink away the tears threatening to spill as you scramble to open the zipper of your bag, but they spill anyway when your shoes clatter to the floor. you flinch at the thunderous sound, clutching your phone tightly against your chest. you keep your eyes closed throughout the defeaning silence that comes after.
the empty space mocks you. it knows your intricate design was not meant to live in an empty home.
you guess nothing much has changed. you’re still afraid of jungkook and his power to take away the sun, just as he did before, and you deeply despise being afraid. you don’t like it when the walls are closing in on you, poisoning your mind into believing that you’re small when the heart inside your chest burns with a fire brighter than that of the damn sun.
anyone would be foolish to leave you; it’s only jungkook who could have you mourning the death of the garden you’ve given the past five years of your life to.
jungkook returns to the apartment half an hour later. despite the long, grueling hours of dance practice he nearly didn’t survive, the excitement vibrating through his body is manifested through the lightness of his movements. he’s finally seeing his lover for the first time today… awake.
when he brought his natural body warmth along with him to the bathroom this morning, you sunk yourself further into mattress, beneath the thick blankets and against the soft pillows. by the time he had to give you your obligatory goodbye kiss before he leaves for work (or else you’d sulk about it for the rest of the week), half of your face has been hidden from sight. he was only able to press a loving kiss on your forehead, and then your eyelids that were fluttering as you dreamt.
night time comes and he is still deprived of the sight of your beautiful face? he somberly wonders as he finds you slumped over the dining table; he swears that there is a dark rain cloud hovering above you. your arms are thrown over the hardwood as they serve as a makeshift pillow for your vessel— his little firefly curiously bleak.
“baby? are you sick?” he asks, voice dripping with concern as he tenderly rubs your back.
the legs of the chair screeches against the tiled floor, neglectedly pushed behind.
“kook?” you manage to choke out, frantically sitting up once your muddled brain registered the familiarity of his touch on your bare skin.
his heart drops to his stomach as your tear-stained face comes into view. this isn’t how he envisioned your greeting; it usually came in the form of a bright light not harsh as the sunlight, a softness that begs to be held.
“are you crying?!”
your reply only comes out as a pitiful whimper. he stumbles a step backwards when you unceremoniously jump into his embrace, wrapping your arms over his shoulders. he gets a whiff of your sweet perfume, and then it becomes the air that he breathes, but he doesn’t have much time to revel in it.
“baby!”
he squeezes your waist taut against his body, affectionately nosing at your cheek before giving you a kiss. “did something happen? tell me- tell me.”
“jungkook,” your voice cracks as you utter his name, sounding almost like a plea, and then an endless string of heartbreaking sobs comes out muffled against his shirt. “where have you been?”
this sends him into a state of panic. seeing you in pain— it’s his biggest weakness. after all, you are his achilles’ heel.
“why? why, why, why?” you’re weak and pliant as he pulls your arms down, collapsing against his chest when he envelopes you in his embrace. he cradles your head in his palm, soothing you with gentle pats and shushes. “shh, shhh- it’s okay, i’m here now. everything’s okay, you hear me?”
his efforts prove to be fruitless, because you only seem to cry harder as he slowly rocks your bodies back and forth.
you shake your head, hands attempting to hold on to the back of his shirt to regain sensation in your limbs, but they miserably fail and fall on the sides of his hips.
“talk to me… please, mhmm?“ he hums quietly, pressing his soft lips to your temple. “tell me what’s wrong and your boyfriend will take care of it.”
from your sniffles to your hiccups, you remain unable to form any coherent response, and it leads his imagination to construct the worst possible scenarios. he feels his stomach turn with uneasiness, jaw clenching as he carefully pulls away to meet you eye-to-eye.
“did someone touch you? hurt you?” he spits out with urgency, and the unparalleled care he displays puts you in a daze, simply dumbfounded as he strokes your face. “huh, baby? just tell me and i’ll take care of the rest.”
now that you’re being reminded that jungkook could quite literally kill a person with his bare hands if they ever inflict harm on you, the fog is clearing up and you feel so incredibly… stupid.
but that’s more the reason why it’s difficult not to be sensitive when it comes to him; his absence proves to be lethal.
“shit, you’re scaring me.” he breathes out shakily as he taps your cheek lightly to bring you back to him, the distant look in your eyes triggering the emergency alarms in his head.
he unconsciously licks his lips and he tastes your tears; he doesn’t want anybody else to ever come this close.
“okay, okay- let’s put that aside for now. what do you need? should we go to bed and rest instead?”
“i thought you left,” you whisper as you hang your head in shame.
he blinks at you in confusion. “to where? my flight isn’t until next week, baby.”
fantastic! now you sound like the most dramatic, clingiest bitch to ever grace the planet. you bury your face in your hands to hide the battle zone between your heart and mind, but your boyfriend seizes your wrists because he can’t bear another second of it.
“is-is that why you’re upset…?” he asks with not a trace of malice or ridicule. he is only filled with guilt as it dawns on him then— how you’ve only gotten used to always having him around four years into your relationship, when he was taking a break from work.
the changes in his life are also changes in yours, but they still affect you in many different ways.
“then just come with me. i’ll make it work. maybe we can extend for a bit, spend an entire day by ourselves- there’s a lot of museu-”
“i thought you left,” you repeat yourself, exposed and vulnerable, vision swallowed by the darkness because you can’t make yourself look at him. “your clothes… they’re gone, and i was calling but you… you weren’t answering my calls so i thought…”
“my clothes?” he exclaims, eyes going wide as he realizes that they’ve accidentally slipped from his mind. “ahh, i thought about cleaning the closet while waiting for you so i moved everything to the other room!”
you open your mouth to speak, but much to your chagrin, no words come out. you purse your lips as your chin wobbles— the new wave of tears in your eyes mimic shiny crystals.
“____!”
and at the stern mention of your name, you know that you’re about to receive a (loving) scolding from your boyfriend. your lips curve into a frown before a sob inevitably escapes past them.
“why would you think that? why would i leave you? that doesn’t make sense at all, does it…?”
you shake your head, hugging him so tight, possibly tighter than you’ve ever done before. between your bodies, his heart is being unbearably wrung.
“i’m sorry, baby. seeing you cry like this breaks my heart…” he closes his eyes with a heavy sigh, resting his cheek on the side of your head. “but why would that be the first thing you think of…? i must be doing something wrong, right? have i been too busy with work? am i neglecting you?”
you’re breathless, a little dizzy— bloodshot eyes meeting his that are now gleaming with sadness. “no, it’s not like that! i just panicked, i couldn’t think straight.”
“are you sure?”
he looks at you skeptically, scanning your face.
“baby-” his voice breaks, then he pauses with his gaze still trained on you. “okay, i’m sorry. i… should’ve thought about what cleaning the closet would look like.”
“i was just being stupid.” you give him a small smile, rubbing your eyes to chase away the burning sensation. “sorry for scaring you.”
“stop, you’ll hurt yourself.” he tuts, pushing your wrists aside to cup your face in his hands, much gentler in comparison to your own self. his thumbs draw shapes on your soft skin, and then out of the blue, he curiously squeezes one of the space buns on top of your head. “wow, this is so pretty?”
“huh…? oh, thanks.” you mumble, still feeling out of it.
“this, too.” the white silk ribbon wrapped prettily around your neck, he means, which he hooks a finger on to tug lightly. it matches the lace straps on your shoulders that falls across the underbust of your dress, tied together to form a ribbon in the middle of it. that makes two, so clasically you.
and while it may be partly true that he’s trying to lighten the atmosphere, he just can’t defy the urge to express his admiration for you, even in a situation like this. he’s perpetually love-drunk.
“thank you.” you nod, shyly looking away to sniffle. “but you’re the reason why my makeup is ruined… need to wash it off before we go.”
“you’re beautiful either way, baby.”
“i know.” you scoff. “would you date me for five years if i wasn’t?”
he releases a throaty chuckle, capturing your lips in his with a smile of endearment that he fails to subdue.
“you’re so fucking cute. i love you-” he says with merely an inch of distance between you.
he grunts in melodramatic anguish, overcome by the insensity of his affections overflowing past the brim of his very being, leaning so close that the edge of the table digs into your lower back, surely to leave a temporary mark.
and he carries on to kiss you so many times that you lose count; you can only melt as you collect them in that bottomless pocket located somewhere in your soul, where all the love you’ve received across lifetimes is recorded to prove i was once here.
“i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you. i’m never leaving. you’re stuck with me and bam forever.”
if the time comes that the two of you break up, who would bam come home to? jungkook stubbornly refuses to have that conversation.
however, you still can’t let go of something, and you pout as you shove him lightly. unsurprisingly, his strong build doesn’t budge at all.
“but why didn’t you answer my calls?” at last, you gain enough energy to complain, but your face grows hot as the urge to cry returns. “i mean, what else was i supposed to think?!”
jungkook is struck by yet another lightning.
may the heavens have mercy, he’s been making you angry more than usual lately.
“shit, i forgot. i turned off my phone.” he mutters under his breath, feeling extremely regretful that he was not reachable when you needed him most to be. “i wanted to focus only on you tonight. what do they call it again…? leaving work at work?”
he winces guiltily.
“i’m sorry. maybe it wasn’t a smart idea.”
“no, i like that.” you almost interrupt him from talking because of how fast you are to brush off his apology.
he makes a mental note of it— the way you’re gripping at his shirt in small fists. you’re tense and overwhelmed; you need him to stay close.
“leave work at work. focus on me, and let me be your rest.”
unbeknownst to you, jungkook bites back his tears then. after all this time, he still gets mesmerized by the tenderness that naturally governs your every word and action; he thinks that he needs you more than you need him.
“just eat, baby. i’ll cook the meat for us.” jungkook coos at you as he cuts more meat into bite-sized pieces using a pair of kitchen shears.
“okay, then i’ll make sure that you eat.” you grin excitedly, dragging your chair closer to his.
you set down the tongs, grabbing your chopsticks to pick up a cooked piece of pork belly from the grill. you don’t forget to blow on it, mindful of burning his tongue.
of course, you don’t want to hurt him, but it would be especially painful for him as a singer.
“ahhh-” still busy with cooking, jungkook opens wide at your cue, catching the meat in between his teeth.
“rice,” he demands as he chews.
you scoop up rice from your bowl, and he devours it happily as he continues to flip the strips of pork belly lined up across the grill.
“mmhmm, it’s so delicious!” he dramatically says out loud. his eyebrows are knitted together and his legs are bouncing under the table, tell-tale signs of him enjoying the food.
witnessing this kind of reaction, any chef would be happy to slave away in the kitchen to serve him a meal. you recognize it in the smile of the owner after jungkook ordered more side dishes, and the way he dashed through the door to reduce the waiting time.
“yah, feed yourself, too!” jungkook chides you after you feed him meat three times in a row, but with an open palm that catches the juice that drips from the kimchi, you still tap your chopsticks against his lips. he spares it a glance before catching it using his tongue.
“i am!” you then rush to wrap a piece of pork belly in lettuce, dipping it into ssamjang before stuffing it into your mouth.
“good job, baby.” he grins in satisfaction, rubbing your back as praise. this makes you preen. “make sure to eat lots, got it?”
but then you’re back to spoiling him rotten, this time with an egg roll. so far, he has only touched his own chopsticks twice.
“i just told you to eat first!”
you glare at him, pouting. “but you worked so hard practicing today and you haven’t even eaten properly yet.”
he is too busy with work, and it’s not news that you’ve been worried sick about his health. it’s difficult to watch him work himself to the bone, but no one truly has the power to stop jungkook from doing what he wants, sometimes not even himself. and you find it impossible to fault him for it when you know that everything he does is done out of love. from the vigorous vocal and dance lessons, and to the deep cleaning of the apartment because his baby has been developing an allergy to dust.
“you need to make it up to your body. here, please?”
he loves being loved, jungkook thinks to himself as he eats the egg roll whole.
you were already prepared to go home after dinner, but your night owl for a boyfriend insisted on going on a walk at the park because he wanted to, and you quote, ‘see you awake for a little while longer,’ or whatever the hell he meant by that.
with his tattooed arm protectively swung over your shoulder, you’re engulfed in a wave of nostalgia. for the first two years of your relationship, before you started living together, you only met with each other at night, save for the very rare day-offs that he got. the only places that are still open after midnight are nightclubs, fastfood chains, convenience stores… and well, parks.
and he would always hold you close like this to make you feel safe, and the rest of you melts away while the side of your ribcage that he is pressed against remains to shelter your heart. on the contrary, you also remember how your bodies used to be so tense. you wanted to sacrifice more sleep and to walk to the other side of the park, of the street, to that other convenience store five blocks away because this one didn’t have the flavor of ice cream you wanted, anything… just… anything so you could be with each other ten minutes more.
and it was cold. it was always cold.
“what do you mean ‘it exploded’?”
“it seriously exploded! it was on fire! that’s why i went out to buy a new extension cord!”
“jungkook, it’s because you plug in too many things at once!” you cry out in frustration, your steps becoming heavy stomps. “i told you to stop doing that!”
“what do you mean? if it has six slots, doesn’t that mean six devices is the maximum?” he continues to stubbornly defend himself, and you can only hang your head in defeat. “otherwise, it’s a scam!”
“it is a scam! see…? they made you buy a ne-”
your sentence is cut short as your tongue gets paralyzed.
a dark and striped, long figure approaching ahead, slithering its across the grass.
your mind immediately registers it as the animal you fear most.
oh, no. no, no, no, no, no.
“jungkook,” you utter his name with a tremble.
the same fear you experienced only two hours ago holds you hostage once more, add all the hair in your body standing up and you’re as frightened as a cat.
“what’s wrong? yah! what are you doing?! baby, ba- fuck!” he sputters out as you forcefully pull him back along with you, displaying a type of strength and agility he doesn’t normally see.
the two of you continue to stumble backwards as you struggle to maintain balance, and somehow jungkook manages to switch your positions so that you’re the one who lands on top him instead of the other way around when you eventually end up as a heap on the soft earth.
he begins to feel his throat closing up at the sight of pure, genuine fear in your eyes.
“jungkook, snake- it’s small bu-”
you interrupt your own sentence with a high-pitched squeal, garnering looks from strangers moving and unmoving. in the blink of an eye, your boyfriend has swept you off your feet as if you’re light as a feather, driven by the instinct to protect the love of his life.
you cover your mouth in shock, your other arm coming up around his neck to keep yourself from falling.
you think you may have fallen for jungkook all over again.
“are you spiderman?”
he was too busy searching for the subject of your fear under dim lights, and so he looks at you in bewilderment to ask, “what was that?”
you shake your head with your wide eyes shining with faux innocence. you squeak. “nothing.”
he releases a sigh, followed by a chuckle of obvious relief and amusement as he squeezes your body closer to plant a kiss on your forehead. “aigoo, my ____! why are you so scared today? what am i going to do with you…? it’s just a worm.”
“are you sure? i swear i saw it raise its head!“
“i’m sure,” he lulls you. “i think worms can do that, too?”
your face twists in an expression of mixed bewilderment and distrust.
“that i’m not sure about, but it’s really just a worm! would i still be standing here if it wasn’t?” he clicks his tongue sharply. “we need to get your eyes rechecked.”
you roll your eyes with a huff. you’ve have had enough of his teasing before it even starts.
“uh?! i’m serious over here!”
this is new— you mean bickering with jungkook in a public place isn’t, but being carried by him like a bride while it happens definitely is.
“fine, i’ll go this weekend. happy?” you fake an obedient smile. “you can put me down now.”
he blinks, and then he adjusts the way he’s holding you to ensure that your dress won’t show what’s for his eyes only— for a split second, you were flying.
“i’ll go with you,”
“okay. now put me down.“ you tap his shoulder repeatedly to prompt him to heed your words. “babe, this is embarrassing!”
“nope,” he ignores your protest with nonchalance as he resumes to walk the path you’re on, evidently enjoying the attention he’s stealing and the way you’re curling yourself smaller to hide.
“oh my god! weren’t you just complaining about your body hurting?!”
“you were scared of me leaving,” he smiles, glancing down at you. “so now i’m gluing you to myself.”
that made you quiet for a while. inside your tote, the container of kimchi, wrapped in a plastic bag, rattles with his every stride. you noticed that jungkook loved it so much, so you ordered it to go when he went to the bathroom before you were to leave the restaurant.
“you know, we used to just hold hands,” you mumble with a childish pout. “like normal people?”
“this is very normal,” he argues.
the scenery becomes more familiar as he takes the long way home.
“some would even say romantic.”
a wave of nostalgia hits, and you visibly shiver.
you don’t know if he would remember, but he has said the same exact words once before.
you scrunch your nose, supposedly to give him a look of disgust, but a giddy smile betrays you. you are five years younger again, and the night ends with the moon bidding you an adieu.
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empresskylo · 8 months
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➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓
ZOMBIE!SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X AFAB!READER
SUMMARY | Simon is dead. And you were forced to leave him behind as the rise of the dead took over. When you volunteer to sneak back into base to grab med supplies, you don't expect to run into Simon—alive, but certainly not himself...
WARNINGS | dead dove do not eat! this is literally smut about zombie!ghost... so... beware i suppose. gore. dub-con?? afab!reader. wc 3k
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ lock me up! send me to jail!!! i can't believe I wrote this yes i can. This is how down bad i am for Ghost, I literally wrote smut about fucking him as a zombie... someone send the authorities, i need my internet taken away. (happy oct 1st btw)
𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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It had been less than two days since you lost Simon.
The image of him dying in the infirmary wing, bleeding out on the bed, was plastered behind your eyes. You saw it every waking moment and even dreamt of it during the night. You could still feel Soap’s hands squeezing your arms far too aggressively as he dragged you out of the infirmary while you cried out for Simon. You tried to claw your way to him but Soap was stronger than you by a long shot. “We have to get out of here!” he shouted at you over the cacophony of voices, people running around frantically. You let him drag you away to safety, your body limp in his hold, thinking of Simon’s dying breath.
The infirmary had promptly been boarded up, the doors all sealed tight. The breakout had begun a few weeks ago and it only just infiltrated the base. When Ghost had come back, bleeding out after a mission gone wrong, you furiously checked him for bite marks. The relief you felt when you didn’t find any was short-lived. Simon had lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. You could still see it covering your hands the days following like a wraith. You felt like his blood was still wedged under your fingernails even after scrubbing your hands violently in a bucket of water. 
With the infirmary infected and the outside world gone, you had little options but to hunker down in the barracks. There were small hunting groups that would leave base and dare to edge into the city, trying to help people, and gathering resources. Ghost had been in one of those first groups to leave the safe confines of base. You wished you had begged him to stay. Pleaded with him not to go. 
The lights above you flickered, the generator not the most reliable of equipment. You looked across the table to your teammates, trying to keep yourself pulled together. It was only at night that you let yourself feel the pain, crying yourself to sleep. 
“We’re never gonna survive here if we don’t get that medical supplies,” Soap explained. 
“It’s too dangerous, Soap. We have no idea how bad it got in there. We have no way of knowing if all the bodies left behind turned,” Price retorted, pulling off his beanie and running his hand through his hair in nerves. 
“So, what then? We’re gonna send more men off to die, tryin’ to get shit from the city?”
Price closed his eyes momentarily. The bags forming under them showed just how little sleep he was getting. “We can’t risk more men. We’d be sendin’ them to their death, Soap. We don’t have the ammo to spare.”
“We don’t know that. We’re still not even sure if it's a guarantee the dead will change, or if they have to be bit.”
“It’s too–”
You cut the men off. “I can go.” Both their heads snapped in your direction. “I’m just a technician. With everything gone to shit, I haven’t been as much help as you guys have been. I can’t fight. I can’t–”
“No. We’re not riskin’ you,” Soap said sternly. 
“Soap,” you breathed. “I’m the only one here that isn’t crucial to the team. And don’t argue with me. It’s just a fact. Let me go. I can sneak in and grab what we need. I’m far quieter than any of you boisterous men anyways.”
Soap breathed your name. He was worried about you. He could see the pain in your eyes after losing Simon. He was worried this was a suicide mission. And that you wanted that. 
“Let me be of use,” you begged. Soap wanted to argue. So did Price. But you were right. You would be the fastest. And as much as they valued you, the remaining men couldn’t survive here without Soap or Price. 
“Lass, are you sure?” Soap said finally. He wanted you to feel useful, but he didn’t want you running off and risking your life because of the pain you felt from losing Simon. 
“Let me do it, Soap. Please. I need this.”
He couldn’t argue with you. He didn’t have it in him to hurt you more than you were already hurting. 
“Fine. But I’m not happy about this.”
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You stood in your gear, an empty backpack plastered to your back waiting to be filled with medical supplies. Price had gone over the layout of the wing with you, showing you exactly where you needed to go to get the right supplies on a map of the building. 
You stood before the infirmary doors, the ones that would lead to a long, winding hall that would bring you to the center of the infirmary. Off of that were several rooms and more halls, and a surgical floor. It was a large span of space to cover, but you believed you could do this. 
“Be quick about it, lass. We’ll be right here when you get back,” Soap said to you, his hand resting on your shoulder. 
You took in a breath and walked up to the doors that had been unlocked, a large piece of plywood that had previously been nailed against it, removed so you could go in. Before you reached out to the door handle, you turned around and rushed into Soap’s arms. He held you tightly, your head tucked right under his chin. “Don’t you fuckin’ die on me,” he mumbled into your hair. 
You pulled back and gave him a sad smile. Then you nodded at Price and faced the daunting doors again. Once you stepped through the threshold and the doors shut behind you, you could hear the plywood being put back up, a hammer nailing it in place. When you got back, you were to knock and Soap would be there waiting to let you back in. 
The hall was flickering with a few overhead lights, the generator still powering a few of the rooms in this wing. 
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Ghost had a glazed-over expression when he rolled off his medical bed. The room around him was silent apart from the ticking of a clock in the corner. There was blood pooled all around him and dripping onto the tiled floor as he stood. He had some semblance of who he was, of what happened, but most of his thoughts were hazed over like he was stuck in a daydream. 
He had walked the length of the room, a sudden craving for food hitting the pit of his stomach. Any sound made him snap in that direction, rushing towards it as if on cue. He heard banging coming from one of the med rooms, the door locked and nailed over with whatever scrap of wood they could find. More people like him were trapped behind those doors, their groaning echoing down the hall. 
Ghost limped as he walked, remembering how he had been shot in his leg. He looked down at his crimson-stained pants, almost like he should be feeling pain, but he felt nothing. 
Days had passed and he roamed the halls aimlessly, not even getting bored. His mind had drifted off, somewhere that wasn’t in his body, allowing him to walk around like a zombie, completely void of any logical thought. 
He grumbled as he made his rounds, stuck in a time loop, walking down the flickering hall again and again, passing by bodies that had been left behind. 
He hesitated when he heard something. He turned to look in the direction of the noise, intrigued. It sounded like someone had just walked blindly into a metal medical tray, knocking instruments onto the floor. His movements were fast and nimble as he approached the sound. 
He froze in place when he saw you–though he didn’t know who you were at that moment. You cursed yourself for being loud but didn’t hear anything in retaliation so you figured you were safe. Your hand rested on the knife strapped to your hip anyway.
You were edging towards the main infirmary double doors, your hand touching the metal of the handle. You should go in there and get supplies, but that’s where you had last seen Simon. You didn’t have it in you to see what had become of him, his body rotting alone. 
Instead, you walked down the hall and into a storage closet, oblivious to the shell of Ghost who trailed behind you. 
You left the door to the storage room open to let in a few strips of light so you could see better. You hunched over and began to dig through the supplies that had been thrown all over the floor in panic. 
Ghost rolled his neck as he saw you in the room, your back to him. He had a sudden urge to sink his teeth deep into your skin, to tear you to shreds. In fact, he wanted nothing more; the instinct was overpowering. 
But when he got close, he could hear your voice as you mumbled to yourself, going over the list of the items you needed. You held up a pack of linens, trying to see if they were clean. “These will have to do,” you said softly, shoving them into your backpack. 
A wave of familiarity surfaced inside Ghost, a strange feeling of being alive pumping through his veins. When he got to the doorframe, he could smell you. His senses heightened, the waft of your natural scent sent Ghost into a daze. He remembered—though he wasn’t sure what he was remembering. All he knew was that he recognized that smell. 
His body had felt like it was in hibernation, his motors set on autopilot as he mindlessly walked down the halls. But suddenly, Ghost’s true mind was brought to the forefront. And his body craved you, though not in the way he had just moments earlier. He didn’t want to sink his teeth into your neck, he wanted to feel your warmth against him. 
Ghost moved with such dexterity and silence, it was clear he was no longer human. When you stood, his arms immediately wrapped around you, eliciting a scream from your throat. 
Ghost still wasn’t fully comprehending what was happening; all he knew was that his body wanted you. His hand slid up around your neck, leaving a trail of blood on your clothes. He tried to speak, but he couldn't fathom what he wanted to say. All that came out was a strangled groan. 
You sputtered, trying to catch your breath as your heart raced in your chest. Ghost felt for your pulse beneath his fingertips, relishing in the way your blood pumped through your body. 
You turned your head slightly, spying the man who had you trapped against the many shelves in the closet.
It was Simon.
Terror flooded your system. He didn’t look like himself. His eyes were glossed over, his pupils and iris almost unidentifiable, the entirety of his eyes were white, appearing like he was blind. The blood that had soaked his face had congealed, the rusted color running down his clothes where he was shot in the chest and leg. He looked just how you left him, and it sent a sense of terror through you. 
“S-Simon?” You whispered, unsure if you were caught in a nightmare. 
A groan escaped his cracked lips. You gulped. He had become one of them . 
You were certain he was about to tear you apart, just as you had seen other fallen men do to your teammates. You closed your eyes, tears rushing down your cheeks as you prepared for the worst. His hands felt cold around your neck, like ice. You shivered against him. You accepted your fate—a small part of you actually wanted it. You wanted him to end you. To take you down with him. You didn't want to be alone anymore.
He nuzzled his nose against your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for him to bite you. But it never came. 
Instead, he just moved his nose against you, smelling your hair and skin. His hands were still locked tightly against you, but they began to travel across your body. You opened your eyes in shock. Ghost’s hands trailed your chest, groping you with one hand, the other sprawling over the front of your thigh and stomach. You gasped in surprise. 
You felt him harden against you, something you had experienced many times before now, and the familiarity of it made your heart pound with mixed emotions. Your mind was too caught up trying to decipher what was happening to truly take the moment in. 
Ghost’s cold hands slid under your black shirt, snaking their way up to your breasts, cupping each one in his hands. Your nipples immediately hardened from the iciness of his touch. He ground himself against your backside, making you close your eyes in a moment of reprieve. You got lost in the past, imagining this was how it used to be. How he had touched you so many times before. 
You breathed his name and he seemed to like that, for he rolled his hips against you harder, his chest rumbling in satisfaction. 
The cold of his hands left you, making you oddly yearn to have them back on your skin. His fingers traced the hem of your pants before aggressively pulling them down. He got them past the curve of your ass and turned your bodies so your hips hit the edge of a shelving unit that acted as a table. You knocked all the supplies off as Ghost pushed you down against it, using your hands to catch yourself. 
Ghost shuffled with his own pants, wasting no time at all to slip himself inside you. You called out in a brief shock of pain. He held himself deep within you, his hands squeezing as he held you, his body bent over slightly, his chest flat against your back. Your own hands reached out to grab the edge of the table to help steady yourself. The searing heat of you against his frozen skin spread through him like wildfire.
Your cries ignited a flame in Ghost’s chest—the feel of your body, the sound of your gasps, the smell of your hair—felt natural, like this was exactly what he was supposed to be doing. That he was made to take you like this. That your body against him was something so ingrained in his system, that he had no choice to to let his limbs move on muscle memory. 
He began to thrust inside you, your hips hitting the table with each snap of his hips. His hand snaked around your neck, the smear of blood now coating your skin. One of your hands came up to wrap around his wrist, resting it there in support. 
You groaned as he rocked into you harder. The pain from his sudden intrusion had subsided, and now you were filled with a haze of rapture. A tear slid down your cheek. You were unable to process what was happening, but what you did know was that you had missed Simon more than anything and that this wasn’t real. This wouldn’t last longer than this moment in time. 
Ghost’s chest rumbled in pleasure as he thrusted into you. Your walls squeezed around him and he let out a loud groan. His arm not clutching your neck wrapped around your midsection, pulling you away from the table so you were flesh against him. He held you tight, almost like he couldn’t get you close enough. That if he had his way, he’d let you make a home beneath his skin. 
His hips snapped vehemently against you, his pace quickening. You moaned, your sounds coming out strangled as his cold hand held your neck. Your walls tightened around him, your climax rapidly approaching. You couldn’t quite believe that you were not only fucking your dead boyfriend, but you were going to come in record time. 
You were absolutely intoxicating to him as your warmth clenched down on him, your heat something recognizable to him, and yet, the intimacy was foreign at the same time. Now that he was devoid of his usual body temperature, the warm feeling of you around him was almost painful. 
When you mewled and cried under him, your walls spasaming, he drew himself to the edge right behind you. Ghost came inside you with a great urge, growling in your ear as he tried to support the two of you. You felt him fill you, the white fluid seeping out around where his cock continued to pump in and out of you. His movements became sloppy, your legs shaking, your hand clutching onto his wrist for dear life. 
You couldn’t hold back the cascade of tears, finally letting them flow as Ghost slowed his pace before stopping altogether. He edged out of you, his arms hesitantly letting you go, and you immediately turned around to face him, burying your face in his chest. You sobbed as he stood there. His arms didn’t reach out and hold you like he once would. He didn’t try to comfort you like he always did so well. 
But still, he just let you huddle against him, taking what you needed from him. He didn’t attack you. He didn’t try to kill you. He wasn’t himself, but he wasn’t fully gone either. You turned to look up at him, resting your chin on his chest. He looked down and you stifled a cry. His white eyes were going to be permanently burned into your mind, haunting you for eternity. His face was sullen and blanched, blood smearing all across him; fresh blood dripping slightly from his mouth.
You tentatively reached a hand up and rested it on his frozen cheek. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. Ghost made no indication he could even hear you. 
You took in a deep breath, willing yourself to do this, and stepped back. You adjusted yourself before slowly reaching down for your bag. Ghost stood and watched you, the only thing moving was the tilt of his head as he traced your movements. 
You shuffled to the door, anticipating him to reach out and end this daydream, ripping you apart. But he just watched you go, his mind riddled with foggy thoughts. He wanted to tear into you, but another part of him prevented him from doing so. He wanted to grab you and hold you against him for some reason. He liked the warmth your body provided. But another part of him felt nothing at all. 
He watched you leave in a stupor, his mind just barely grasping onto the image and memory of you. It’s true, he wasn’t completely gone, but he was fading fast. 
You cried violently as you stumbled back to the exit. When you banged on the doors, you heard the plywood being ripped off and the doors swinging open. Soap pulled you back into the base and held you at arm's length. “What happened?” he asked desperately. You were sobbing and covered in blood.
Should you tell him? Would Soap let you return to Simon knowing he wasn’t gone? Or would they make you stay here, letting Simon slip away forever? 
You suddenly regretted leaving him. You should have stayed with Simon, even if he was a shell of who he used to be. You should have waited the time out together until he fully lost himself, and you would let him take you down with him. 
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obsessivevoidkitten · 25 days
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The Concert
Yandere Male Alpha x Gender Neutral Omega Reader CW: Noncon, crybaby reader, a/b/o dynamics, kidnapping, knotting, biting, musk and pheromones, general yandere behavior Word count: 481 (Just popped into my head, hope y'all like this mini-meal)
You were an omega and your beta bestie had convinced you to go to a punk rock concert. It wasn't really your type of music but your friend really wanted you to go. They promised you'd have fun
You were not having fun.
Your friend had very quickly abandoned you in this huge outdoor crowd of people to go make out with some random guy. Now you were alone, the loud music and large amount of people distressing you greatly.
It was evident in your scent and made you an easy target for a horny alpha looking for just such a vulnerable omega like you.
You jolted as a hand touched your shoulder.
"Sup cutie, I'm Sid."
He was a large man in his early 20s. His smell was potent, even among the scents of the crowd, it made you more than a bit dizzy. You stammered out your name nervously to be polite and tried to inch away.
"Hey don't be like that sweet thing, you smell overwhelmed. How about we go relax in my van? Do you smoke?"
"Uh, no, sorry. That's not really my thing."
Growing increasingly uncomfortable you tried to move away more quickly. You had a feeling that if you went with him you'd never come back.
He grabbed your wrist firmly.
"Hey, don't be like that! We can relax by doing other things. Got a nice knot you can bounce on."
"Let me go!"
You couldn't hold it back any longer and began to sob and cry.
"I can't in good conscience just leave an unattended unclaimed omega that smells as good as you do here all by yourself. Someone might try and snatch you up. You really should come with me."
You tried to struggle out of his grip, to scream. But the couple of people that noticed what the alpha was doing either turned away, not wanting to get involved or gave Sid a thumbs up since he was about to score.
Sid picked you up and carried you to his van, tossing you on a mattress in the back of it. You were sobbing too hard to speak coherently. He peeled your clothing off and bit your neck hard, permanently marking you.
“You’re pretty even when you cry.”
True to his word, he bounced you on his thick knot until you were relaxed, if only because of the exhaustion of going at it for so long. You finally cried yourself to sleep, slumped against his chest with his knot still embedded deep within you.
When he finally slipped out he put his overly large sweaty clothing on you, instinctively cloaking you in his scent, and then put on a spare outfit that he kept for emergencies. After that he tied you up and started the long drive home, because he definitely wasn’t letting his new omega go. Best concert ever… for him…
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arminsumi · 7 months
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First request ever: Can you make a story about Gojo, where their both in a relationship but gojo had to end it because he was afraid that she would be in danger?
Thank you! Keep up the good work, I love your stories!!!
LET ME MARRY YOU
↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader
The risk of dating you his too much for him to handle, so he breaks it off, only for him to come back to your doorstep years later and ask: "Let me marry you."
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2k
Note : istg each time i edited this... the wordcount grew lol. i hope u enjoyyy 🥹💗 tysm for enjoying my work it means everything
Warnings : angst -> fluff (?) -> happy ending trust me, Shibuya arc spoilers (Ep 9), manga spoilers (chapter 221)
🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open
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The risk of dating you is thrilling when Satoru's just a teenager in puppy love. But as he grows older, and heads into those dreaded 20s, the risk makes him more and more nervous.
What if something happens to you?
He presses kiss after kiss to your forehead and feels his chest tremble, feels his lips quiver, as he refrains from telling you the truth about the Jujutsu world. Satoru just can't do it.
There are so many instances of him saving you from curses that you're oblivious about. He just smiles strangely, and you wonder why he looks like he's just seen a ghost. Because he has, those pretty eyes see ghosts. But those pretty eyes also see you, "What am I looking at?" he responds after you ask why he's looking at you so tenderly, "I'm looking at my future wife." he flirts just to fluster you.
That's at the cafe, when things are still simple. He keeps thinking to himself, as he lays with you in bed some nights;
I want to marry you.
I'm going to marry you.
Please let me be your husband one day.
As if he's trying to manifest it.
Everything is okay-ish... until he gets pangs of fright when your name starts to be known outside of his closed circle of friends.
It's October 11th.
Gojo Satoru breaks up with you.
He leads you to believe that the two of you are just "right person, wrong time". It all hurts an incomprehensible amount for him, to finally cut the string that tethers the two of you together.
He sits on the stairs, head in his hands, mourning.
He starts many mornings with crying spells that last until midday.
He destroys evidence of you and him. In case anyone ever finds it and thus finds your apartment, or work, or college... or anything.
But he can't part with a very special photo. It's you and him in Okinawa, sharing a cheesy kiss at the beach. In the moment this photo was captured, Gojo remembers having whispered some dirty joke in your ear and that's why you smiled so big into his kiss.
He drifts to sleep to the lullaby lovesongs that defined your love.
Years pass, he refuses to even talk to you. The heartbreak worsens with time, he laughs when he realizes that on his 27th birthday.
Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Someone said that to him once. Well, they must have been lying without realizing it.
The day Gojo Satoru is sealed, he looks into Suguru's eyes, and remembers you through them. When he resides in that awful prison realm, he only thinks of you you you you you you you oh god he misses you so much that it feels like the very thought of your smile stabs his chest. Every memory is painful. Every flashback puts one more crack in his heart.
"Can't I ever catch a break...?" He laughs to himself, chattering skeletons making their eerie symphony around him.
He thinks. Ponders. Wonders. Broods. Daydreams. All about you. Always about you. Never anything else. Just his first love, from the late spring of his 17th year.
His earthly goddess.
The purpose of his benevolent actions.
He cries. And sobs. And weeps. Because no one can hear him but the skeletons and he's sure they don't mind the sight or sound of a 27 man howling in pain over a lost lover.
It's not just your relationship that he's mourning. But the fact he can't feel you in this cube... that he can't feel your presence in the world... that's worse than the heartbreak. At least through all these years, he's been able to sense your existence. Feel the subtle ripples of your soul no matter how distant you are; you'd be stood in a coffee shop, he'd be at Jujutsu High teaching, and yet feeling you.
Because as he promised to you at 17, "Half my soul is yours. And half your soul is mine. I'll always be with you even if I'm not there."
He has the biggest breakdown of his life in that little cramped suffocating claustrophobic eerie creepy box.
It's 19 days later. He's out. He's back in the world. And he feels the sense of you, your existence, swelling in his chest, tickling his mind, prodding his heart.
"Gojo sensei, where are you headed?"
"I'm gonna go find my other half." he says cryptically.
It's a stark bright day.
Gojo Satoru knocks at your apartment door.
You open it.
He looks at you, and you look at him.
"Hi."
"...hey...? Wow. Haha... you grew into your features, huh?"
Your voice fills his heart with life.
"You too... glad you still live in the same place... I was worried you might have moved out..."
"... Ah, Satoru, you'd be able to find me no matter what corner of the world I resided in."
Your laugh fills his mind with pleasant memories.
There's an a magnetism between you and him just like there always used to be. It feels like two magnets connecting at last, after feeling the distant attraction throughout all these years of distance.
"You're right." Satoru says after a silence of just staring into your eyes.
"I'll always find my way home."
A silence ensues after he says this.
"...haha... don't cry... or I'll cry..."
"... Satoru... I thought of you every day after you left me at the station."
"... me too."
"... why did you leave?"
He stares at you.
"... I was scared of you being in danger."
He gulps.
"Me? In danger? But you're the strongest, why would it matter."
Oh god that's right. You said it then when you were 17, "You're the strongest" and he carried that title with him from then. And now you've said it again. He's reminded. He feels a bit stupid. A bit ridiculous. A bit...
"You're right..." he chokes up. "I am. I could have protected you I guess..."
"... yeah, duh."
He smiles meekly.
It was more complicated than that, sweetheart. But I won't tell you.
He hesitates. He contemplates.
"I have to tell you everything... will you promise to believe everything I say even if it sounds insane?"
"Of course. What is it?"
He inhales deeply. And instead of blurting out his whole life story of being a sorcerer in the Jujutsu world, he just leans in and kisses you hard and truthfully. Cups your cheeks. Closes his eyes. Tastes you like a sweet from his childhood that he hasn't had for years. Presses to you. Takes in your scent.
Yeah yeah... he'll tell you everything in a minute.
But for now just let him kiss you until he runs out of breath.
Let him just...
"Hey..." he pulls away, gasping, "Let me marry you."
"Haha, Satoru..." you take it as a joke and laugh, because it sounds as bizarre and unexpected as one. Then you realize there's that serious look on his face. "... Satoru?"
"Can I?"
"... what?"
"Can I please?"
"... huh??"
"Can I marry you, please?"
He looks at you and waits for your answer. His poor heart. It's palpitating. His whole chest cavity inspires with love for you. This man that you haven't seen in years has just asked if you'll let him marry you — with very specific wording.
Can he? Will you let him?
It's funny in a way, because you think to yourself; this is such a Satoru thing to do... show up unannounced years later on your doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage as if no time has passed, as if you know the full story.
"Satoru... what happened to you throughout these years for you to come back to me and ask for my hand in marriage?" you ask, genuinely baffled.
He swallows slowly. "I know I sound like I've lost my mind. But I promise I haven't."
"That's hard to believe. The Satoru I remember was always on the brink of mania. A bit insane but not quite."
You make him laugh. "Yeah..."
"So are you asking to marry me out of insanity?"
"No."
"Well alright then. I guess I'll marry you."
You make him laugh again, with that funny tone. He hasn't laughed genuinely in years... it's always been that plastic laugh. But this is his genuine laugh. Silky and quiet. The opposite of his demeanor.
"I guess I should be explaining everything to you properly... before I ask you something like that."
"You're damn right..."
"... don't scold me too hard when I tell you all the reasons I left. Or, if you do, then at least hold me while you scold me. And run your fingers through my hair like you used to."
"Satoru."
"Yes?"
His heart throbs. He looks at you.
"Stop standing at the doorway and come inside."
"Oh."
You sigh. He smiles. Then he bows his head so it doesn't hit the top of the doorframe. Damn tiny Tokyo apartments. Your archway always had it out for the crown of his head. You laugh when he bumps into it just like he always used to.
So the two of you sit down and just talk. And talk. Maybe cry a bit. Actually, you cry a lot. And he holds you. And he says he's sorry. He says sorry over and over, as if the word is a bandage he's trying to wrap around all your heartbreak wounds that he caused.
"I'm sorry."
Satoru's apologies aren't easy to come by, and when you receive them, they nurse your heart. It's the gentleness with which he says it, and earnest too. Each successive sorry means more than the last.
"My angel..."
When you call him this after he vents to you about his time in the Prison Realm, and his overwhelming duty of being the strongest, he breaks down completely and just weeps in your arms.
He sobs like you've never heard him sob before, like a dog.
Finally. At least for a moment. He could be weak. Let down his guard. Be raw. Be emotional. Not a teacher. Not a sorcerer. Just your boy. Your Satoru.
Your consolation is all he wanted throughout these years. He looks up at you, eyes red and sore, nose sniffling, and stares at you like he can see your soul.
"...Satoru?"
"Marry me."
You chuckle again.
"If that will stop your tears..." you joke.
He sniffles loudly and swallows, composing himself.
"I thought about marrying you so much when we were together... 'n I tried so hard to bite my tongue when your name nearly rolled off it while talking to my students some days. I was always..."
On the verge of saying your name.
He sniffles long and hard and waits for your hand to weave into his hair.
"Will you think about it?"
"I will."
There's a silence. Satoru feels hopeful. He lays on your chest, arms around you like you're his whole world that he won't dare let go of again.
"There." you say with finality. "I thought about it. Let's get married."
"That took you, like, ten seconds."
You laugh with him. "Yeah... I already knew in my heart when you asked me at the doorway... you know... Satoru... it's funny. When you left, it felt like half my soul was gone. And when you knocked on my doorstep, it felt like I was whole again. Does that sound freaky, or does it tie into all this... Juju... Jujutsu stuff?"
He's silent.
"I have no idea."
"Wow. My future husband isn't knowledgeable at all." you joke.
His heart flutters at 'future husband'.
"Sorry." he says, smiling softly, "My mind is blank when your fingers are running through my hair."
The two of you go on and on, until you're laid in bed sleeping at each other's side. Resting. And god, did Gojo Satoru need a good rest.
In your arms, he's no longer an insomniac.
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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upsidedownwithsteve · 3 months
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Steve Harrington x fem!reader x Eddie Munson [2K]
18+ TW: somnophilia
It was his lips on your bare shoulder that woke you.
An open mouthed kiss and the tickle of his curls on your skin as you shifted, the sheets crumpled under your naked frame as you lay on your stomach. You woke up a little more, blinking into the navy darkness, sleep making your eyes blurry.
The bedroom was a mess, kicked pillows and shoved aside blankets creating grey lumps in the dark, the barely there glow of the street lights that shone through the blinds telling you it was definitely not near morning. Everything still smelled like sex and cologne, a heady mix with your perfume underneath it all and you weren’t sure where your clothes were for the life of you.
It was cosy nonetheless, window just cracked to let some of the summer air inside, a faint breeze that only really added to the warmth. A bubble of still air and bare skin, very touch heightened from how sensitive you’d already been made to feel that night.
You made a soft sound into your pillow, fingers curling into the sheets as someone - Eddie - knelt between your spread legs. He was running a hand across your ass, pushing and squeezing at the plush skin, humming happily when he realised you were stirring. His cock was hard, already nudging at your entrance and you knew from the way you throbbed that he’d been touching you for a while.
“Eddie,” you whined in a pretty, raspy voice that made his cock jump. You were still hoarse from earlier, when you’d cried into your pillow, biting down on the feathers as you were pounded from behind. “S’good.”
The boy leaned in again, soothing you with kisses up and down your spine, his cock sliding in easily as he nudged forward. You whined as he filled you up, your cunt still slick and warm from before. You felt boneless, body laid bare for him to play with but he just growled as you clenched around him, happy to feel your heat.
“Always good for me, sweetheart,” he praised and his voice was as broken as yours. He sounded dirty, grunting every time you pulsed around his cock, his palms grabbing handfuls of your ass to keep you from wriggling away. “Jus’ stay like that, yeah?” He whispered. “Gonna make you feel real nice, baby.”
You nodded, pouting even though he couldn’t see. But you almost cried out into the dark room when you felt the Eddie spread your ass cheeks, a thin line of spit hitting your hole. You could practically sense his grin when you jumped a little at the feel of his thumb, not doing much else but putting pressure on you, getting you wet enough to want more.
You squealed, the noise muffled by your pillow and Eddie snickered, leaning down with his hands on either side of your head. It pushed him deeper into your pussy, your legs spreading on instinct to give him more room. His hips were flush against the swell of your ass when Eddie ducked his head down, nose at your cheek and his voice was downright sinful when he whispered.
“You gonna wake him up, hmm?” A kiss, just below your ear. “You know he loves it when you put on a show for him. Go on, be a good girl, yeah?”
So you reached out, breath already hitching as your hand travelled across the bed, seeking out the warmth beneath the sheets. You found an arm, strong and curled partially under a pillow, a broad back with lean muscles, tanned skin freckled and bed warm. You tugged on the hand that had been used to keep you pinned to the bed early as the owner ate you out, whimpering softly as Eddie started his slow, lazy thrusts again.
“Steve,” you murmured.
Nothing.
“Gotta be a bit louder, sweetheart,” Eddie coaxed. “You know he sleeps like the dead.” He gave your ass a swift tap, grinning at the squeak you made. “Especially when you sucked his cock like you did.”
The reminder made your eyes roll, your lips still puffy and swollen from both of the boy’s kisses and the way you insisted on letting Steve’s cock nudge at the back of your throat for almost too long. So you reached out again, pulling at Steve’s fingers until you could bring them to your lips, already half gone on Eddie’s cock as you let your tongue peel out to touch the tips of them, Steve stirring as you whined his name again.
He appeared from the sheets, legs tangled with them and hair mussed, a pillow crease along on freckled cheek and he blinked at you in the dim light. Steve could just make out Eddie kneeling behind you, leaning back on his ankles as he spread your legs with his hands, keeping your stomach pressed to the bed as he let the head of his cock push in and out of your folds. His eyes found yours, bright and glassy in the glow of the light from the window and realisation hit him at the same time his cock twitched.
“Shit,” he groaned, sleep making his voice thick and rough. He sounded good, so sweet, his movements slow as he shuffled towards you, the smell of his shampoo and aftershave surrounding your sense as he leaned in. “Shit, baby, you guys goin’ again, huh?”
“Couldn’t resist her,” Eddie grunted, the slick sounds of your pussy hugging his cock filling the spaces between his words. “You know what she’s like when she’s sleepin’.”
Steve smiled, sleep warm and still soft, brushing the bridge of his nose against yours as he took his hand from your lips to your jaw. His forehead rested against your own and your eyes fluttered shut, completely surrendering to both men.
“Yeah?” He sounded more awake now but he whispered still, his thumb smoothing underneath your ear. He was so warm, too easy to squirm closer to and Eddie tutted as you tried to wriggle away. “All spread out for him, honey? Putting yourself on show for Eddie, huh?”
You probably had been, unconsciously or not. Still naked and slick from how they’d left you, bites and bruises on your bare skin, bone tired and one leg hitched up to show off every part of you. Playing with each other until you woke was something that had been long discussed, a secret fantasy of yours that you’d finally indulged after three years of being together and two bottles of wine.
“Ass like a fuckin’ peach,” Eddie agreed, his voice breathier now that he was sinking his cock deeper into you. He gave your behind a soft snack, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as the fat jiggled, your cunt clenching around him. “She wants to give you a show, Steve.”
Steve grinned, nudging at your chin until you resurfaced from his neck and he could give you a kiss. He kept it soft and light - too light. Tiny little pecks that had you screwing up your features in protest, one hand fisting at his hair. “Yeah, honey? S’that right?”
You nodded, still gasping against his lips as Eddie rolled his hips into yours. You could feel him nudging deep inside of you, his cock hitting that spot over and over again, a dirty grind more than anything else. You really wanted Steve to kiss you.
“You’re so sweet,” Steve cooed and he was still being so soft, so quiet, his hands tracing down between your breasts, fingers trailing over the dip in your spine. “You wanted me to see how pretty you look when you take Eddie’s cock?”
His words did just as much to Eddie as they did you, Eddie growling under his breath as he raised your hips up, letting the front of your thighs rest on top of his, your cheek pressed flat to the mattress now. He kept up the tiny thrusts of his hips, his cock fully seated inside of you. But now, there was space underneath of your frame, a gap between you and the bed that allowed Steve to snake his hand into.
His fingers found your clit, your folds soaked. You watched his lips make a small ‘o’, surprise and delight in his gaze. “Shit, honey, you’re all worked up.”
You couldn’t say much, just small, gasping “uh, uh, uh’s” falling from your mouth as Eddie fucked you through it. He leaned over your to smooth a hand up your spine, pressing his palm between your shoulder blades as his pace picked up just slightly. Steve matched it, pinching at your clit between rubbing small circles and he finally, finally leaned in to kiss you.
It was slow and lazy like the night had been, like your boy’s were treating you. A languid thing that made your yous curl and your breath hitch, his tongue licking over yours in a filthy, filthy way. He bit at your lip when he pulled away, rubbing your clit a little harder when he saw your eyes screw shut.
“She’s gonna come,” he told Eddie, his own cock pressed hard into your hip. “Oh, oh baby, you’re gonna come real hard, aren’t you?”
You nodded, pulling him closer by the nape of the neck as Eddie leaned back down to blanket himself over you, his hips pressed to your ass as he groaned at the feel of you getting even tighter, his cock twitching in anticipation.
“Please,” you whispered, the plea slurred and muffled as you pressed your face to Steve’s cheek, the need for closeness overwhelming.
“I know,” Steve cooed. “We’ve got you, Eddie’s gonna make you come real fuckin’ good, honey.”
Eddie’s hand curled around the back of your neck then, gentle but firm as he brought you out of hiding, his thumb soothing down the front of your throat. He made you look at Steve as he fucked you, your lips parted, your eyes glassy.
“That’s it, sweetheart, fuck,” Eddie grunted, “lookit Steve, yeah?”
Steve nodded, his free hand that wasn’t teasing your clit joining Eddie’s, wrapping around your throat until his fingers overlapped the other man’s. “Let me see you come, show me what you woke me up for.”
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diejager · 7 months
Note
wondering how doesn't reader get pregnant after a lot of action with both horangi and könig, especially when König prefers to breed reader rather than his wife.
also do they have breeding kink? and what would be reader's reaction if there's a possibility of pregnancy, that would be so dramatic ig coming from reader's mom.
I hope this answered your question! cw: breeding kink, drug replacement?, mention of abortion, forced pregnancy, mention of stalkholm syndrome, tell me if I missed any.
The answer is simple: you either take pills, or got an IUD installed (honestly, that’s what I have since I have so many friends who’ve told me that pills have bothersome side effects and I’m forgetful so I won’t be able to remember to take them every day.).
A) If you take pills, König will replace them with a placebo, he has his ways, relationships built on years of work and alliance. So it wouldn’t be hard for him to find someone who can produce placebos for your birth control. Since he’s made a habit of staying near you whenever he can, seeing as he’s retired, it would be weird if he went out for so long. He has Horangi pick it up, meeting with the agent who’s sent to give them a year worth of box.
B) If you had an IUD installed, he’ll search your room for that little card it comes with when you’re not home, look at the date and he has two options. 1) if he doesn’t want to wait the time, be it a year or two, anything between one and five, he’ll talk to you about taking it out. 2) if he can wait, he’ll use the time to break you in, let you settle with this relationship and get you used to the dynamic they have in mind. Patience is a virtue after all, like a little pet project of theirs.
They definitely have a breeding kink. Ironically enough, they’re family men, a bit rough on the edges and tactile in their ways, very touchy-feely. They like to be hands on, holding you down as they fill you up, fingers bruising your skin with brands, to let people - and you - that you belong to them. König might be fidgety, never being one to sit still and do nothing, but he is patient, like a predator in hiding. Horangi’s a tiger in a hunt, slow and steady steps, certainty exhuming from every decision he takes. They don’t make a decision without telling the other, Horangi and König are a team, they were and always will.
Whichever contraceptive you took, it wouldn’t mater much in the end, you’d end up with morning nausea and a positive on your test. You’re in tears, balling your eyes out and panicking, breathe rapid and shallow, near hysteric as your mind goes through all the different scenarios of what ifs. You might’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of your situation, pregnant with the child of your stepfather or your neighbour. What would your family think? Your mother who’s oblivious and ignores your cries for help; your father who didn’t know where wen after your mom indefinitely cut your contact; or your living grandparents that lives God knows where.
Unlike you, hysteric and frantically searching for a solution to your problem, König is excited, calling Horangi to tell him the great news of your pregnancy. He has a smile on his lips when he finds you, shushing your tears and cooing soft praises. König tells you what a good mother you’d be, what a responsible Stay-at-home mother, with gentle hands and loving lips. When Horangi’s here, he picks you up, holding you in his arms and peppers you in kisses, a few deep, feverish ones, full of passion, and a few wild ones on the corner of yours lips and your cheeks.
Your mother is less frantic than you, worried, but not panicking. As a mother, she’ll ask about the pregnancy, who the father is (knowing you weren’t one to sleep around), and help you. You’re embarrassed at yourself, unable to tell her that the two men in the room are the kid’s father. You’re silent, head bowed down in shame and fidgeting, anxious and terrified, you were in your army 20’s, still in University to finish your bachelor’s degrees and now you’re pregnant. Horangi steps up, telling her that you’ve been having relationships with him - excluding the fact that her husband had a hand in everything as well - in occasions. She’s seen how close you are with Horangi, nearly sitting on his lap at times and often seen in his company.
She’s supportive, ignorent of all the mess in your life. Granted, she’s a bit disappointed, but you’re an adult, she can’t dictate your life like her parents did to her. So all she can do is support you, take l’ombre time off to walk you through the basics of parenthood and the nausea and emotional rollercoaster a pregnancy brought. You want to tear your hair out from the roots down at how oblivious your mother is, but you’re scared of getting an abortion, or if it’s legal at all.
Your angry, stressed and panicked, emotions flaring up with your unfortunate situation with no one to talk to, to turn to, all you want to do is cry. What can you do when you have an ignorant mother and two possessive and criminally wrong men with bloody hands and unrestrained connections.
Tag list: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973
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en-dazedafterdark · 10 months
Text
meddle about - lee heeseung, park sunghoon
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READ PART 2 HERE
PAIRINGS: ex! heeseung x reader x fwb! sunghoon
GENRE: smut, porn with plot, angst at the end
SYNOPSIS: In which your ex heeseung isn’t very happy that you’re sleeping with his best friend - and he’s not afraid to show both you and sunghoon who you belong to
WARNINGS: threesome, fingering, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (both f and m receiving) handjob, kinda mean dom heeseung, dom sunghoon sub reader, dirty talk, (idk what else i missed tbh)
WORD COUNT: 9k
A/N: likes, reblogs and any interactions are appreciated <3 as always, let me know if you liked it!
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In retrospect it probably wasn’t the best idea to start fucking your ex boyfriend’s best friend but it wasn’t like you had planned for it to become a thing. 
At first, it had started as a one off thing when you were drunk. It was a rebound of sorts and you weren't even sure if he wanted anything to do with you or not, but you needed some kind of release after everything that had happened.
So when the opportunity came up, you went for it. It had been so long since you had someone to just have sex with without a care in the world, without having to worry about consequences. Without any strings attached. You just needed a warm body for a night to forget about all the shit you were dealing with and Sunghoon just happened to be the one available at the time.
You had kissed, drunkenly pawing at each other until you both tumbled back into his bed, too drunk to even care if his roommate or his roommate's roommate heard or not. He didn't hesitate to grab your shirt and pull it off of you, dragging his hands across your skin. You moaned and groaned, rolling your hips into his touch. He was already hard beneath you and you felt a rush of excitement. You needed him, needed his body. You needed to be fucked and filled with something that didn't leave you feeling empty or sad or guilty.
You needed to forget about Heeseung for a night.
He wasted no time, ripping your shorts down your thighs along with your panties and tugging them off your feet. His fingers slid through your wet folds, his thumb stroking at your clit and you moaned, hips bucking into his touch. His lips were on your neck then, sucking and kissing as his fingers pushed inside you. You gasped and clutched at him, wanting more.
He kissed down your chest, nipping at your breasts with his teeth before he dipped his head between your thighs, his fingers still pumping in and out of you. You felt a rush of pleasure surge through you and you arched your hips into his touch, seeking more friction, needing more of him. He chuckled and licked over your clit, sucking it into his mouth and you moaned loudly, throwing your head back against the pillow as his fingers moved faster inside you.
It didn't take much. Not with the way he was working your body. His fingers were magic as they worked you, touching and rubbing all the right places. It wasn't long before you felt that familiar tingling sensation between your thighs. You moaned, grinding against his hand and he laughed, sucking your clit back between his lips.
You cried out as you came undone, the pleasure coursing through you as he sucked and licked through it. He groaned, his tongue pressing against your clit and you shivered. You looked down, watching him move between your thighs, his tongue flattened against your skin and you felt another rush of pleasure.
His fingers left you and you felt empty for a moment before he moved up your body, kissing you roughly. You could taste yourself on his tongue and you moaned, rolling your hips into his hard length. He groaned, kissing you again.
"Fuck me," you gasped against his lips.
"Why?"
You shook your head, knowing that was the wrong thing to say. "Please, just... fuck me, Sunghoon."
"Tell me why," he whispered.
You moaned, rolling your hips against his length. "I need it. Need to be fucked. Need to feel something."
He chuckled, kissing you again. "What do you want me to do, baby? What do you need?"
"Just..." you whimpered.
"Say it," he demanded.
"Make me forget him," you gasped.
He kissed you then, pressing your legs back against your chest. "Grab your ankles," he ordered.
You moaned, hooking your hands around your ankles as he grabbed your thighs and pushed them back, opening you up even more. You felt exposed, laying there like that but he pressed against your folds with his length and you moaned, arching into him. He gripped your thighs tighter and pressed forward. You felt the stretch as his thick cock pressed inside you, filling you completely.
You gasped, throwing your head back into the pillow. He chuckled. "Is this what you wanted? Is this what you need?"
You moaned, nodding as he rolled his hips, pressing even deeper inside you. "Fuck yes," you gasped. "More, Sunghoon."
"I've been dying to fuck you," he groaned as he began to move. He pulled back, thrusting into you again. You gasped, moaning loudly as he filled you completely. 
"You've always been so hot. I could never get over it."
You rolled your hips, meeting his thrusts as he fucked you harder. He leaned forward and pressed your legs against your chest, stretching you further. He pressed his hands against the back of your thighs, fucking into you harder and you whimpered.
You knew you were loud and you didn't care. Not when he felt this good. Not when it felt this good.
"Fuck," he groaned, his thrusts becoming faster. "I wanted to fuck you since the first time I saw you. You're so fucking hot. So tight. God, baby."
You whimpered, reaching down to rub your clit as he continued to thrust into you. He watched you, his eyes wide as he watched you. You could feel your climax building and you knew it wouldn't be long. Your clit was already sensitive from his tongue and it didn't take much to have you over the edge again.
You cried out as you came, your legs falling down to wrap around Sunghoon as you clutched at the sheets. He groaned, fucking you through your orgasm before he was moaning, burying his face into your neck as he came inside you. You whimpered, holding him against you as he panted and rolled his hips, grinding against you until he had nothing left to give.
He groaned as he pulled away from you, rolling onto his side next to you on the bed. You stared up at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath.
Sunghoon didn't seem to mind, resting his head against your shoulder. You could feel his cum dripping down your thigh but you didn't care. You didn't want to move from this spot. Not when this felt so right. Not when he made you feel good.
It was wrong, you knew it. You had no business fucking Sunghoon like that. But it didn't stop you from wanting more. It didn't stop the heat between your thighs from growing when you were around him. It didn't stop you from wanting to be fucked by him again.
It definitely didn't stop you from going back for seconds.
Or thirds.
It became a regular thing. Whenever you were drunk and felt the need to fuck someone, Sunghoon was always there for it. He had become your go-to man for sex and it wasn't long before you both became comfortable with each other. It was casual sex. A release of all your stress and built up tension.
You found yourself visiting him more often than not. You would wake up and go to his place to fuck and then come back to your place and sleep until you had to get up for work.
It was good. Easy. It helped you get over Heeseung and not think about him as much.
At least, that's what you told yourself.
It had been a few weeks since you started fucking Sunghoon when you saw Heeseung at the bar. You weren't with him, just out with some friends, but there he was, standing at the bar next to the guy you had been sleeping with for a while now. You had spotted him immediately and you wanted to disappear. He didn't seem to notice you until Sunghoon pointed you out and you felt yourself begin to panic. You excused yourself from your friends and hurried away, grabbing your purse from the counter before fleeing the bar.
You hurried down the street and out of the building before running to the first alley you could find and leaning against the wall, taking deep breaths.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
You didn't want to run into Heeseung. Not there. Not anywhere.
Not ever.
You leaned your head back against the building, closing your eyes as you tried to calm down. You had been fine these past few weeks. It had been going so well. But now, seeing him, it was all rushing back. The pain and the hurt. You could feel it all threatening to surface and you didn't know what to do with it.
You heard someone approaching and you opened your eyes, staring down at your hands. You knew who it was before he spoke. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as he approached.
You didn't turn to face him, knowing that if you did, you might just fall apart.
"Are you okay?"
You shook your head, sighing. "No."
He paused, like he was trying to figure out what to say before he took a seat next to you on the ground. "Why not?"
You looked at him then, huffing. "Why do you care? We don't even talk anymore, remember?"
"You were running," he replied, his voice soft. "I got worried."
You looked away, leaning your head against the wall again. "I'm not hurt," you lied.
He didn't say anything, waiting for you to say something else. You didn't know what to say to him. You wanted to yell at him. To tell him he didn't have the right to ask questions about you, but you didn't want to yell. You didn't want to make a scene. It was embarrassing enough seeing him there, standing at the bar with the man you were fucking.
"You know," he began quietly. "I can tell you're lying."
You sighed, running a hand over your face. "Fuck you."
"I'm not going to pry," he said. "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here."
You stared down at your hands and then shook your head. "No. I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to see you. You don't get to be nice to me anymore."
"I'm not being nice," he replied. "I'm just trying to look out for you."
"Well, don't," you snapped, looking up at him. "I don't want your pity or your concern. I don't want you to try and help me. I don't even know why you came over here. It's been months since we broke up and I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to try and talk to me. We're done, Heeseung. It's over between us and we don't have anything to say to each other ever again."
“Is this because of Sunghoon?”
You felt your heart lurch. You were sure you were going to throw up. Your chest was tight and you were hot all over.
Heeseung. Sunghoon. Sunghoon. Heeseung.
The words kept repeating in your head and you couldn't think clearly. All you knew was that you were pissed. You were angry at the fact he had the nerve to come over here and ask you what was wrong because he could tell you were upset.
"How do you even know that?" you asked, your voice shaking. "Did Sunghoon tell you?"
His face hardened and felt your stomach drop. "I wasn’t sure but now I am. What, did you fuck him? Was he better than me?”
"Fuck you!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up.
"Fuck me?" he echoed, standing up. "How many times have you fucked him since we broke up, huh? How many times have you let him fuck you?"
"You're being an asshole!"
"You're the asshole!" he snapped. "You're the one who's been fucking your ex boyfriend's best friend. I bet it's his cock you're always so desperate for. Maybe that's why you're always upset. He doesn't give you what you need."
"You don't get to talk to me like that!"
He grabbed your arm and yanked you to your feet, his hand cupping the back of your head as he crashed his lips to yours. You whimpered against his lips, letting him kiss you.
It was a mistake. It was all a huge mistake. You were still angry. You were still upset. You wanted him to stop and leave you alone but you were too weak to fight him.
His kiss was hard, bruising. He nipped at your lips, his hands roaming your body and you moaned into his mouth. You wanted this. You wanted him. You didn't know why he was kissing you or what he was doing here but you couldn't help it. You couldn't stop yourself from wanting him.
He kissed you like he needed you. He kissed you like you were the only person in the world and it made you feel things that you didn't want to. He kissed you like he would die if he ever had to stop kissing you.
You grabbed at his shirt, pulling him closer and moaning against his lips. He kissed you until you were breathless and then he was kissing your neck, nipping and biting at your skin as you panted for breath. He spun you around, slamming you against the wall and pressing against you as he kissed you again. You moaned as he kissed your neck and his hands moved down your body to cup your ass, pulling you against him. You felt him, hard and ready between your thighs.
"Heeseung," you whimpered, kissing him again.
He growled, his teeth digging into your neck. You cried out, wanting more.
"Heeseung, we can't..."
"I can't stop," he whispered. "I can't, I'm sorry."
You groaned, wrapping your arms around his neck as he picked you up, hitching your legs around his waist.
“Heeseung- Woah, sorry!”
You gasped as he stumbled forward, his hands reaching out to grab the wall to stop him from falling.
You looked up and saw Sunghoon and you froze. He was staring at the two of you, his face white and his mouth hanging open.
You didn't know what to say to him. You couldn't look at him, but you could feel Heeseung trembling against you.
Sunghoon laughed awkwardly and then looked down the street. "I... uh, I didn't mean to interrupt. Sorry."
You could hear your heart pounding in your ears. You could hear Heeseung breathing. You could hear the blood pumping through your veins as you stood there, frozen, with Heeseung still pressed against you.
You didn't know what to do. And then Heeseung made the decision for you. 
You gasped when you felt his lips attack your neck once more, his teeth biting at your skin and his fingers digging into your thighs as he held you against him. He growled low in his throat and it made you shudder.
He was showing you off. You didn't know why he was doing it but you knew he was. He was showing you off to his friend, letting him know he was the one who had you in his arms and you were all his.
He was claiming you.
"Did you know that if you bite her right here," Heeseung said, biting down on your neck. You moaned, arching your hips into him. "She makes this amazing sound?"
You gasped, biting down on your lip to stop from moaning any louder. You felt Heeseung grin against your skin.
You didn't know what you were doing, why you were allowing him to do this. But you knew you liked it. You liked it too much. You didn't want him to stop. You could feel Sunghoon’s eyes on you and the thought of him watching made the wetness in your panties grow. 
"And when you kiss her right here," Heeseung continued, trailing kisses across your throat. You shivered, watching Sunghoon swallow.
You could see the way he was watching you, the way he was biting his lip and you knew he was jealous. You knew he wanted you and you wanted him as well.
"Fuck," Heeseung hissed, kissing you again. He growled into your mouth and you moaned, kissing him back. "Let me take you home.”
"I-I don't..."
"I want to fuck you," he growled. "Let me fuck you."
"What about Sunghoon?" you whimpered.
He glanced over his shoulder and then kissed you again, hard, like he was trying to claim you.
"He can fuck you too," he said against your lips. 
You gasped, pulling back and staring up at him.
"We can take you together," he said. "I can make you cum all night. We both can. You want that? Both of us fucking you at the same time?"
Sunghoon was still watching you, his hands clenched at his sides and his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took.
You were nervous. You didn't know what Heeseung was trying to do or what he wanted. But you wanted him. You wanted both of them.
"Yes," you whispered, kissing him.
He kissed you back, his hands roaming your body, cupping your ass and grinding against you as you moaned.
"Yes?" he asked. "Yes?"
You nodded. "Yes."
He pressed you against the wall and kissed you again before he was lowering you to the ground. You could feel your legs wobble beneath you and you clutched onto his arms to stop from falling.
"Come on," he said, his voice low. "Let's take you home."
He shot a look at Sunghoon, who was still watching the two of you before leading you out of the alley. “I think our pretty girl needs to decide who can fuck her better, don't you think?" he said, wrapping an arm around you. You knew he was taunting his friend and it made you smile.
You glanced over your shoulder at Sunghoon and he smirked.
"Let's find out, shall we?”
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The ride back to your apartment was quiet. Heeseung was driving and you were in the backseat with Sunghoon. He kept looking at you through the rear view mirror, his eyes dark and filled with lust as he watched you.
It made you shiver, squirming in the seat as you tried to find a way to be more comfortable. It was hot in the car and you could feel your body becoming damp.
Sunghoon reached over and cupped your thigh, his fingers brushing against the inside of your thigh. You whimpered, grabbing at his hand to stop him from going any further.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.
You looked over at Heeseung and saw that he was watching you, his eyes dark as he licked his lips.
"Do you want him to stop?" he asked, glancing at Sunghoon.
You swallowed, your cheeks burning. "No."
"No, what?" Heeseung asked. "Tell him what to do."
"Don't stop," you whispered. "I want you to keep going."
Sunghoon grinned and slipped his hand further up your skirt. You whimpered, lifting your hips to give him more room. His fingers brushed against your panties and you moaned.
Heeseung laughed and looked back at Sunghoon. "She's so wet. She wants you so much."
Sunghoon licked his lips, slipping his fingers beneath your panties and finding you already wet. You moaned when you felt him slip a finger inside you.
"Fuck," Sunghoon groaned, slipping a second finger inside you. "She's so tight."
Heeseung glanced back at you and you stared down at his hand on the steering wheel. You could see the bulge in his pants and you were desperate to touch him.
"You're going to make me crash if you keep looking at me like that," Heeseung said. "You need to keep your eyes on the road."
"You're the one who can't keep your eyes on the road," Sunghoon said, thrusting his fingers in and out of you.
You moaned, resting your head against the seat as you arched your hips into Sunghoon's hand. You felt Heeseung's eyes on you again and you looked over at him, whimpering as Sunghoon curled his fingers inside you.
"You need to cum, pretty girl?" Heeseung asked. "You need to cum all over his fingers?"
You nodded, biting down on your lip as Sunghoon slipped another finger inside you. You whimpered, bucking your hips up as you fucked Sunghoon's fingers.
"She's so wet," Sunghoon groaned. "She's going to make such a mess."
You closed your eyes, arching your hips into his hand. You could feel your orgasm building. You were so close, but you couldn't reach it. It was like Sunghoon was holding it back, teasing you with his fingers.
You groaned, grinding down on his fingers. "Please," you whispered. "Please, I need to cum. Please."
"Not yet, baby," Heeseung said, looking back at you. "You're doing so good. You're almost there. You just have to wait a little longer."
You moaned, squeezing around Sunghoon's fingers as you rocked into his hand. Heeseung watched you with dark eyes as Sunghoon slid his fingers out of you, sucking them into his mouth. He licked them clean, humming in approval as he tasted you.
"You taste so good, baby," he said, reaching up to cup your cheek. You turned into his touch, whimpering at the way his thumb brushed over your skin. "We're almost there."
You looked up at the road in front of you, watching as he turned into your apartment's parking lot. You stared up at your window, watching as it became closer and closer with each passing second.
Your heart was racing. Your stomach was fluttering. You felt dizzy and excited all at once.
"What's wrong?" Sunghoon asked, reaching over to place his hand on your thigh again.
You swallowed, shaking your head. "Nothing."
Heeseung chuckled, glancing at Sunghoon as he pulled the car into a spot and turned the engine off. You bit your lip, watching the two boys get out of the car and walk around to your side. Sunghoon opened your door and smiled down at you. You returned it with a nervous grin before getting out of the car. You followed them up to your apartment and as soon as you got inside, Heeseung grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you away from Sunghoon as he kissed you.
You whimpered against his lips, gasping when you heard the front door close. You knew it was Sunghoon but you didn't dare turn around.
"Been so long since I’ve tasted you," Heeseung whispered, kissing you again. "Missed your taste. Missed your pretty mouth."
"Heeseung," you whimpered.
He kissed you again and then you were being spun around, his hands on your hips as he pushed you towards the couch. He sat down and you stared down at him, watching as he grinned up at you.
"I want to watch you take your clothes off."
Your cheeks burned but you obeyed, grabbing the bottom of your dress and pulling it up over your head, tossing it to the floor. You reached behind you to unclasp your bra, pulling it off and tossing it in the same direction as your dress.
You bit your lip, your hands dropping to your side. Heeseung grinned, licking his lips as his eyes roamed your body. You blushed at the way he was staring at you, his eyes dark with desire as he took you in.
"Can’t believe you let Sunghoon see you like this," Heeseung said. "But I'm so fucking glad he saw you."
"Why?" you asked.
He laughed. "Because now I get to show him who you really belong to.”
"I don't belong to anyone," you snapped, glaring down at him.
He just smiled. "We'll see about that."
Sunghoon's arms wrapped around your waist from behind. You whimpered, leaning back into his touch. He pressed his lips against your skin, kissing up your neck to your cheek. You closed your eyes, resting your head against his as his hands moved up to cup your breasts, squeezing and massaging them.
You let out a soft sigh, feeling Heeseung's eyes on you as Sunghoon's lips brushed against your cheek. You could feel him hard against your ass, the bulge in his pants pressed against your bare ass. He groaned against your cheek, nipping at your skin and you let out a whimper.
You felt Sunghoon smile and he rolled your nipples between his fingers, squeezing and pinching until you cried out. You heard Heeseung's belt unbuckle, followed by the sound of his zipper and you knew what he wanted.
"Is this what you want, baby?" Sunghoon asked, kissing down your neck. You moaned, closing your eyes as you felt him flick your nipples with his thumb and forefinger. "You want me to fuck you while Heeseung watches?"
"Yes," you groaned.
"You want him to see you? You want to be a slut for me in front of him?"
"Yes!" you cried out, turning around in his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.
Sunghoon moaned, kissing you back and nipping at your lip. You could feel his hands roaming your body and you shuddered as his fingers dug into your thighs. You gasped into his mouth, kissing him harder as you tugged at his shirt. He pulled back from the kiss, pulling the shirt off over his head before he kissed you again, his teeth grazing against your bottom lip.
You whimpered, moaning against his lips as he squeezed your ass. You ground down against him, feeling his hardness against your thigh and you reached between you, reaching down to pull him out. You heard him hiss against your lips, biting your tongue as you stroked him.
"You're going to make her cum all over you before you even get inside her," Heeseung said.
You gasped, looking over at him. He was standing beside the couch now, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it to the ground. You bit your lip, staring down at his body. He was perfect. You wanted to touch him, to feel every inch of his skin beneath your fingers.
You pulled away from Sunghoon, reaching down to slip his pants and boxers down, letting them pool around his ankles. You stared down at him, licking your lips as you saw the way he throbbed against his stomach.
"Fuck," you whimpered, wrapping your fingers around his length. You started to pump him in your hand and Sunghoon groaned, biting down on his lip. You watched the way he trembled beneath you, his body shaking as you squeezed his cock. You smiled up at him, watching his face twist in pleasure as you jerked him off.
"You're such a fucking tease," he said, cupping your face. He pulled you up, kissing you. "I could make you cum on my tongue so many times, baby. I know just how to touch you, how to make you scream. But I'm not going to do that until I'm inside you."
"I want you to," you whispered, squeezing around him. "I want you to."
"Fuck," he growled, leaning back. "I love how you sound when you're needy."
You grinned and then looked over at Heeseung. He had finished undressing and he was now stroking himself as he watched the two of you. You licked your lips, wanting to taste him.
"Can I-"
"No," Heeseung snapped, stepping away. 
You whimpered. You could feel how wet you were, how much you needed Sunghoon inside you. 
"You're not going to touch me. You’re going to show me just how much of a slut you’ve been with Sunghoon all this time. I’ll decide how badly you need to be punished after.”
You whimpered but nodded, watching as Heeseung sat down on the couch again, stroking his cock as he watched you.
"You heard him," Sunghoon said, grabbing you. He pushed you onto your knees and then pulled you closer to him, grabbing your ass. "Show us just how much you love to be fucked."
You moaned, glancing up at him and then looking over at Heeseung. You glanced up at him before pressing a kiss to his thigh. He hissed, his cock twitching against your cheek.
You bit back a smile, looking up at him as you licked him. Sunghoon, his hips bucking up and you moved back, sliding your tongue against his length. You pressed a kiss to the tip of him and he gasped.
You licked up and down the length of his cock, listening to his breath hitch. You looked up at him, watching as he watched you with dark eyes. You opened your mouth, taking him inside. He let out a hiss, his body trembling as you licked him.
"Holy shit," Heeseung groaned, stroking himself faster.
You moaned, taking Sunghoon into your mouth again. It turned you on to know that Heeseung was watching. You wanted to put on a show for him.
You moaned around Sunghoon, taking him deeper into your throat. He moaned, reaching down to cup the back of your neck. He squeezed and you groaned, taking him even deeper.
"Fuck," he gasped. "Take it all, baby. I know you can do it."
You moaned again, letting him fuck your throat. You squeezed around him, loving the way his cock felt against your tongue. He groaned, squeezing harder at your neck as he fucked your mouth.
"You're doing such a good job, pretty girl," Sunghoon said, moving behind you. "You look so fucking good with your lips around my cock. Fuck, baby. You're making me feel so good."
He moaned, gripping your hair with his free hand. You gagged around him again and he thrust up, letting out a hiss as he fucked your throat.
You could hear Heeseung moaning and you knew he was touching himself, jerking off as he watched you suck Sunghoon. You were soaking wet, your pussy throbbing as Sunghoon thrust up into your mouth.
"I'm so close," Sunghoon growled. "You're going to make me cum all over your pretty face."
You moaned again, closing your eyes as you took Sunghoon deeper into your throat. He let out a cry, bucking up as he came. You gagged around him, but you took him deeper, letting him spill down your throat. He tasted good, his cock pulsing in your mouth as he spilled.
He groaned, pulling out of your mouth and letting go of your hair. You took a moment to catch your breath, licking your lips before looking up at Sunghoon.
He looked down at you, smiling as he leaned down to kiss you. You moaned, letting him taste himself on your tongue.
He pulled back from the kiss, grinning down at you. You glanced over at Heeseung and he was stroking himself faster. You smiled up at Sunghoon, watching as he moved behind you, pulling you up and kissing you again. You moaned against his lips, gripping at his arms as he lifted you up.
"I'm going to make you feel so fucking good, baby," Sunghoon whispered in your ear.
He carried you over to the couch, sitting you down next to Heeseung before kneeling in front of you. You bit your lip, staring down at him as he licked up the inside of your thigh.
"You taste so fucking good," he whispered, kissing his way closer and closer to your pussy. "You want me to taste you?"
"Yes," you moaned.
He laughed, blowing a puff of air against your pussy and you whimpered.
"Why don't you show me what a good slut you are?" Heeseung said, moving closer to you. "Show us how badly you want to be fucked."
You looked over at him and then back down at Sunghoon, nodding as you spread your legs. You heard him laugh and then his tongue was against you. You let out a whimper, trying to hold back a moan as he licked you. He swiped his tongue up and down, taking his time to explore you. He teased you, swirling his tongue around your clit and then licking your inner thigh again.
You were breathing heavily, watching as he licked you. You could feel Heeseung's eyes on you, could hear the sound of him touching himself again. You looked at him and you wanted to touch him. You wanted to touch him so bad that your hands itched to reach for him. You looked back down at Sunghoon, whimpering as he sucked your clit into his mouth.
"So fucking good," he said, pulling back. "I could eat you out for hours and never get tired of you."
You moaned, moving your hand up to your breast, squeezing your nipple between your fingers as Sunghoon flicked his tongue against you. You bit your lip, watching as he lapped at you and you heard Heeseung groan. You looked over at him again, licking your lips as you watched him.
"Do you like how it looks when he eats you out?" Heeseung asked. "You like how he tastes you? You like how it feels when he fucks you with his tongue?"
"I love it," you whimpered, closing your eyes. "I love it so much. I want more. I want more."
"I bet you do," Heeseung laughed. "Look at me, baby."
You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He was smiling down at you, his hand on his cock. You watched him as he jerked himself off, watching as he teased you.
"What do you want more of?" Heeseung asked. "What do you want Sunghoon to do to you?"
You let out a moan, pressing down against Sunghoon's tongue. "I want him to fuck me," you said.
"Oh? You want his cock inside you? You want to be fucked?"
"Yes, please. Please fuck me. Please."
"Look at her, Sunghoon. Look at how badly she needs you."
Sunghoon groaned, looking up at you. His face was covered in your juices. His mouth was swollen from sucking you. You shuddered, wanting to feel his tongue inside you again. You needed him.
"You're going to get everything you want, baby," Sunghoon said, reaching up to stroke your cheek. "Everything you want."
You leaned into his touch, looking down at him as he knelt in front of you. He reached down between your legs, rubbing his fingers against your pussy. You moaned, watching as he rubbed you before pressing one finger inside. He licked his lips, groaning as he fucked you with one finger.
"You feel so good," Sunghoon said, his fingers pumping inside you. "You're so wet. You're so fucking hot, baby."
You bit your lip, staring down at him as he touched you. He slid another finger inside and you moaned.
"You look so good with his fingers inside you," Heeseung said. "I bet you look just as good with his cock inside you."
"I want it," you moaned, closing your eyes.
"Look at me," Heeseung said again. "Look at me, baby."
You opened your eyes and looked over at him. He was watching you closely, his eyes dark with desire. You were panting, gasping as Sunghoon pushed a third finger inside. You moaned, feeling fuller than ever before.
"Does it feel good?" Heeseung asked, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair.
You whimpered, nodding. "Yes," you said. "So good."
Heeseung grinned, pressing a kiss to your lips as Sunghoon slid his fingers out. You let out a whimper and Heeseung chuckled, biting your lip.
"I knew you were a little slut," he said. "You were made for this, weren't you?"
"Yes," you said, whimpering as he kissed you again. You reached up to cup his face, kissing him back. He slid his tongue into your mouth, biting down on your lip as he kissed you. You moaned into his mouth, kissing him back as he moved closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer.
You leaned into his touch, whimpering as you felt Sunghoon press against you. You could feel the tip of his cock against you and you pushed back, letting out a cry as he slid inside you.
"Oh my god," you moaned.
"Fuck," Sunghoon groaned.
Heeseung chuckled, moving closer to you. You opened your eyes, looking up at him as he cupped your face in his hands. You smiled up at him as he kissed you, his lips soft against yours. You sighed as he kissed you, melting into his touch as Sunghoon thrust inside you. You whimpered, clinging to Heeseung as you were filled over and over again.
You cried out, pushing back against Sunghoon. He grabbed your hips, pulling you back as he thrust into you. You moaned, digging your nails into Heeseung's skin as Sunghoon moved inside you. He was so big, stretching you out until you felt like you would snap.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he growled, squeezing your hips. "You're such a good girl for taking my cock."
"I'm a good girl for you," you whimpered, closing your eyes as Sunghoon continued to pound into you. "I'm such a good girl for you."
"You like being a slut for me, baby? You like being a slut for both of us?"
"Yes," you moaned. "Yes. Yes."
Sunghoon groaned, pulling you closer to him. You let go of Heeseung, wrapping your arms around Sunghoon as he fucked you. You pressed a kiss to his neck, sighing against his skin as he fucked you. You could hear the sound of Heeseung jerking himself off and it made your body ache with desire. You needed him. You needed him inside you.
You could feel your orgasm building inside you. Sunghoon was fucking you so deep that you knew you would cum all over him.
You let out a cry as Sunghoon thrust into you. You knew you would be sore tomorrow, but it was worth it. He groaned, holding you close as he fucked you. You clung to him, crying out as he made you feel so good.
"Look at her," Heeseung said, stroking his cock. "She looks like she's about to come apart."
You looked up at him and he was staring down at you. His gaze was dark, his eyes sparkling and it was enough to make you come undone. You let out a cry, feeling yourself snap inside. You let go of Sunghoon, reaching down to rub your clit as Sunghoon kept fucking you. You cried out as you came, clenching around Sunghoon as you pulsed around his cock. He groaned, thrusting up inside you as he came. You felt him spill, filling you up.
You were trembling, still rubbing your clit as you rode your orgasm. Sunghoon kissed your neck, thrusting up inside you slowly. You whimpered, leaning against him as you tried to catch your breath.
"Oh my god," you gasped.
Sunghoon chuckled, kissing your shoulder. "You look so fucking good when you cum."
You let out a whimper, your body still trembling from your orgasm. Sunghoon slowly slid out of you and you whined. You could feel his cum drip out of you, running down your thighs. You sighed, looking up at Heeseung.
He was stroking himself slowly, staring at you with a lustful gaze. You bit your lip, looking him over as he touched himself. You could see the way his cock was glistening and it made your body ache to be touched.
"Please," you whimpered, staring up at him. "Please."
Heeseung groaned, moving closer to you. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your lips as he grabbed your thigh.
"Do you need my cock, baby?" He asked, kissing you again. You kissed him back, nodding.
He laughed, pulling away from the kiss and moving to kneel in front of you. “God, you’re insatiable. You want me inside you? You want me to make you feel good like Sunghoon did? I bet you loved how it felt when he fucked you, huh? I bet you would have loved it even more if it had been me. I would have fucked you even better than him. I would have made you feel so fucking good, baby. I would have made you feel like a fucking whore."
"Yes," you moaned, reaching up to touch him. You were still so sensitive from your orgasm and the thought of Heeseung touching you was making you ache again. You needed him so badly. "Please, please."
"Please what?" Heeseung asked, grabbing your wrists and pulling your arms above your head. You cried out, staring up at him as he pressed his other hand to the couch. He was caging you in, holding you down as you panted underneath him. You felt like you were floating, your body tingling as he touched you. You needed him so badly that your head was swimming.
"I need you," you moaned, staring up at him as he kissed you. "Please. Please, please."
"Please what? You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you feel good?"
"Yes. Yes, yes."
"Tell me," he groaned, sliding his hand down your stomach and brushing his fingers against you. "Tell me how much you need me."
"I need you so badly," you whimpered. "Please, please. I'll do anything. I'll be your good girl. I'll be a good slut for you. Please."
"Fuck," Heeseung groaned. "I don't even know what to do with you."
He was still touching you softly and you needed more. You were panting, your body aching for him. You knew you would break if he didn't touch you soon. You needed him more than you needed your next breath. You needed him inside you, needed to feel him pressing you against the couch as he fucked you. You needed to feel his dick inside you as he made you cum.
You could feel Sunghoon next to you, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin as Heeseung kissed you. You were trembling, moaning as you felt Sunghoon's lips on your neck. You moaned, letting Sunghoon's lips trail down your skin as Heeseung continued to graze your thighs with his fingers. 
“Look at how dick drunk she is already,” Sunghoon laughed, biting your earlobe and making you cry out.
You could hear Heeseung chuckle and he leaned back, taking in the sight of you. You bit your lip, feeling his gaze on you as you lay on the couch. Sunghoon was still kissing your neck and you felt like you were about to lose your mind.
"Oh, baby," Heeseung said, touching your cheek. "You look so fucking beautiful."
You whimpered, looking up at him as he stared down at you. His eyes were so dark with lust that you felt your entire body go hot. Heeseung grinned, leaning down to kiss you.
"Are you ready?" he asked, sliding a finger inside you and making you gasp.
"Yes," you moaned, closing your eyes. "Please."
"That's a good girl," Heeseung said. "Such a good girl for us."
You bit your lip, letting out a cry as Heeseung slid his finger out. You could feel his tip against you and you shuddered. You were ready to cry at the anticipation, feeling yourself tremble with desire as Heeseung slowly slid into you.
You moaned, closing your eyes as Heeseung filled you. You let out a cry, feeling him push deeper inside you. 
“So filthy. Do you like me fucking Sunghoon’s cum back into you? Does it feel good being my slut?" Heeseung said, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. You opened your eyes, staring up at him as he pressed his fingers into your wrists, holding you down as he started to move.
He was slow, grinding into you as you whimpered beneath him. He slid out almost all the way and then pushed inside again, moving in and out of you slowly as you cried out. You felt so full, so overstimulated that it was driving you insane. You needed more, needed him to go faster and you knew you would never get enough of him.
"So fucking good," Heeseung growled. "You look so fucking good with my dick inside you, baby. Missed this so much.”
He groaned as he fucked you, picking up his pace. You let out a moan, pressing up against him.
"I missed this too," you whispered, whimpering as you looked up at him.
Heeseung smiled, his gaze softening as he looked down at you. He was still holding you down, still holding you still as he slid into you over and over again. You were trembling, your body aching as he moved inside you. You needed more, needed him to fuck you faster. You needed him to go harder.
"Please," you moaned. "I need more."
"More? What do you want more of?" Heeseung asked, slowing down his pace.
"I want you to go harder. I want you to go faster."
"Oh? You want me to go faster?" He laughed, rolling his hips and making you gasp. "Is that what you want, baby?"
You nodded, whimpering. "Yes. Please."
"Ask me nicely," he growled, his thrusts slowing even further.
"Please," you cried. "Please. Please, please, please."
“Who does this pussy belong to?”
"You. It belongs to you."
"That's right," Heeseung moaned, his voice dropping an octave. "I'm the only one who can touch you like this."
"Only you," you whimpered.
Heeseung grinned, grabbing your wrists and pulling you up as he fucked you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, clinging to him as he held you. You let out a cry as he went faster, his movements becoming more urgent. You could feel yourself building inside you again, your orgasm was close.
You were so close that your head was spinning, your body aching with need. You knew that you were being so loud, that you were moaning so much but you couldn't help it. Heeseung was fucking you so well that you could barely think.
"Oh my god," you cried.
Heeseung let out a grunt, sliding his hands down your sides to grab your hips. You cried out as he continued to move, thrusting into you so hard you knew there would be bruises. You moaned, letting out another cry as he went even faster. You were about to fall apart, feeling him go so deep that it was almost too much.
You could hear Sunghoon next to you, his fingers digging into your skin as he clung to you. You opened your eyes, staring up at Heeseung as he fucked you. He was staring down at you with a lustful gaze, his eyes so dark that it was making your head spin. You whimpered, squeezing around him as he fucked you. You felt yourself clench, knowing you were going to come soon.
Heeseung groaned, leaning down to press his lips against yours. You whimpered, kissing him back as he continued to fuck you. You could feel him pulse, his cock twitching inside you. You were so close, so fucking close.
You moaned as you came. You dug your nails into Heeseung's shoulders, clinging to him as you pulsed around him. You cried out, feeling yourself shake as you came. Heeseung kept moving, sliding into you over and over again until you could feel tears spring to your eyes. You were so sensitive, so fucking sensitive that you thought you might break.
Heeseung pulled out of you, flipping you over onto your stomach. You felt his hand between your legs, his fingers rubbing your clit. You let out a whimper, your entire body still trembling as he touched you.
"Fuck," Heeseung growled, pressing his lips against your back.
"I can't-" you whimpered. "I can't-"
Heeseung kissed your neck, his tongue tracing the same spot that Sunghoon had as he continued to rub your clit. You felt his cock slide back inside you and you moaned, letting out a cry as he began to move. Tears were running down your cheeks, your body still trembling as he moved inside you.
Heeseung slid his hand up your back, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling it back so you were pressed against him. You cried out as he fucked you, whimpering as he pressed his lips against your neck.
"I'm gonna cum in you again," he whispered. "I'm gonna make you mine all over again."
You could hear the desperation in his voice, his movements becoming more urgent. Everything felt like a dream, your eyes becoming more and more blurry by the minute as he fucked you. You could barely breathe, gasping for air as he moved inside you.
Heeseung's thrusts became erratic, his movements becoming less controlled as he slid into you over and over again. He groaned, slamming into you and making you cry out. You were still sensitive, still so fucking sensitive that every thrust made your body ache.
You felt him thrust once more, felt his cock pulsing inside you. You let out a moan, feeling him spill. You let out a cry as he did, your orgasm coming all over again. Your body felt like it was on fire, the pleasure so intense that you felt yourself shaking.
"Fuck," Heeseung moaned, his fingers digging into your hips. "Fuck."
"Heeseung-" you whimpered. "Heeseung."
"I got you, baby," he said, sliding his arms around you and pulling you up against him. He was still inside you, his cock twitching as he kept cumming. You clung to him, feeling yourself falling apart as he moved.
You were trembling, still crying as he held you. His arms were around you, his hand in your hair as he pressed soothing kisses to your neck and shoulder. You were breathing hard, gasping for air as he stilled inside of you. You felt him slowly pull out of you, feeling his cum drip out of you.
You couldn't even speak, too shocked by the amount of pleasure you had just felt. Heeseung pressed a kiss to your neck and then slid his arms out from behind you. You rolled onto your back, looking up at him with a dazed gaze.
Heeseung chuckled, running a hand through his hair. He looked just as stunned as you were, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open slightly. He leaned down to kiss you softly, running his hand up your stomach. You whimpered, staring up at him as he touched you. You were still so sensitive and every touch made you ache.
Heeseung sat back, looking over at Sunghoon. You were too exhausted to look, but you could hear him get up. You closed your eyes, letting your body go limp as you tried to catch your breath.
"Shit," Heeseung said, moving again. "I think we broke her."
You could hear the amusement in his voice and you wanted to smile, but you couldn't. Everything was spinning and you weren't sure if you were even going to be able to get out of bed the next day.
You felt Heeseung lift your legs, sliding them onto his lap. You could feel his gaze on you, but you were too tired to open your eyes.
"Come on," Heeseung said, his voice soft and gentle. "Let's go to bed."
"I'll take her," Sunghoon said. "You stay here."
Heeseung nodded, helping you sit up. You were still shaking, your entire body still tingling as you sat up. You felt Sunghoon touch you, running a hand down your back. You shivered, letting out a whimper.
"You okay?" Sunghoon asked.
"Mhm," you whimpered. "I can't feel my legs."
"That good?"
You nodded, biting your lip as you stared down at your thighs. You could see the bruises that Heeseung had left, knowing that he had fucked you so hard you would have bruises for days. You whimpered, closing your eyes as you felt Sunghoon run a hand over the bruise on your hips.
"You're gonna be a mess tomorrow," he chuckled.
You let out a laugh, letting Sunghoon carry you off the couch. You whimpered as you were held against him, feeling like your entire body was still trembling. You felt Sunghoon start to walk, felt him step on the stairs and felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. You squeezed your eyes shut, burying your face against his neck.
"I've got you," Sunghoon murmured.
You wanted to say something back, but you didn't trust your voice to be able to say anything without sounding like you were about to break. You were already so close to that, you didn't trust yourself to speak.
You felt Sunghoon step into the bedroom and you curled against him, holding him as he lay you down on the bed. You opened your eyes slowly, looking up at him as he smiled.
"So much for helping you forget him," he whispered.
You let out a small laugh, closing your eyes. Sunghoon's hand was on your cheek, his fingers brushing against your skin as he stared down at you.
"He's still in your heart, isn't he?" he asked.
You nodded, feeling more tears spring to your eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Sunghoon whispered, leaning down and kissing your forehead. "Don't apologize."
He got up, moving to the bathroom and leaving the door open. You closed your eyes again, listening to the sounds of water running. You were still so overwhelmed by what had happened, still not sure if it had been a dream.
Sunghoon stepped out, holding a wet washcloth in his hands. You opened your eyes, looking up at him as he smiled down at you.
"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"
You nodded, watching as he sat down next to you. He started to clean you, his touch so gentle that it made you cry.
"Sorry," you whimpered.
"Stop apologizing," Sunghoon whispered, staring down at you. "Don't."
You pressed your lips together, closing your eyes as he ran the washcloth over your skin. He cleaned you, moving slowly as you lay there.
Heeseung walked in, staring down at you. "She okay?"
"She's fine," Sunghoon said.
"You should sleep with her tonight," Heeseung said. "We can't leave her alone."
"You’re not staying?” There was an edge to Sunghoon’s voice that you couldn’t identify. 
Heeseung was silent for a minute before he replied. "I have things to do."
"Things to do?" Sunghoon laughed. "That's your excuse? Things to do?"
“It’s okay Hoon, I'll be fine," you whispered.
"He can't even stay," Sunghoon said. "You just fucked her senseless and now you can't stay."
"It's fine-"
"Stop saying that it's fine," Sunghoon snapped. "What's wrong with you?"
"I told you," Heeseung snapped. "I have things to do."
"Fine," Sunghoon spat. "You should have said that from the start."
Heeseung was silent for a long time. You could hear him breathing, hear the tension in the room as Sunghoon glared up at him.
"I'm gonna stay with her," Sunghoon said.
"Hoon-" Heeseung started, but Sunghoon cut him off.
"Just shut up and go."
Heeseung was quiet for a minute before he walked away. Sunghoon sighed, rubbing your stomach.
"I'm sorry about that," he said. "He's being an idiot."
"It's okay," you forced out. "It's fine."
Sunghoon stared down at you, running his fingers along your collarbones. He was silent for a long time and you were beginning to feel anxious again.
"Sleep," he said, kissing your forehead. "I'll be right here."
You nodded, feeling yourself begin to doze off as Sunghoon lay next to you. He kept his hand on your stomach, his fingers rubbing back and forth as he stared down at you.
You were so far gone that you weren’t sure if you were dreaming when you heard his voice.
"I would never treat you like that."
4K notes · View notes
4izawas · 6 months
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╰─▸ ❝ 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑! ❞ ──── 𝐟𝐭. 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎.
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “i’m boyfriend material!” he cries indignantly, offended despite the fact that he’d never kept a relationship for more than a few months out of sheer boredom, and you pause before looking him up and down. / “…mhmm.”
𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: jujutsu kaisen | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: satoru gojo/f!reader, mild sukuna/reader | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 6.25k.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: college au, fem reader, fuckboy satoru, protected sex ( wrap it up cumsluts ), jealousy, attempted hand-holding, brief nanami cameo, satoru gets hard attached and then is O.O when reader is like ‘nah imma dip now’, slight angst, unrequited love, previously established relationship ( just not w gojo 💀💀 ), cheating ( by reader ), bf sukuna.
𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐬: hmmm gojo’s not suffered enough, let’s do THIS 👹👹
— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!
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Gojo Satoru was not nervous. 
All he had to do was ask a simple girl in his Philosophy course out so he could take her home and sleep with her. He’d never asked any of the girls in his Philosophy course out, though, so he was a little hesitant. As odd as it would seem, he enjoyed this class, and he didn’t want anything awkward to happen — which was why Suguru had directed him your way. 
‘“She won’t make it weird,”’ he’d said, though how he’d known when Satoru knew every person that his best friend had ever slept with ( and you had not been one of them ) was beyond him. 
Remember, he thinks to himself, glancing over at you a few times in a way he thinks isn’t noticeable, She’s gonna fall all over you, just like all the others, as soon as you ask her out. Easy lay. 
And he wasn’t nervous. 
Class ends, and he waits for everyone to make their way out. From experience over the last semester and a half, you were one of the last people to leave, taking your time considering you didn’t have any more courses after this one ended at noon on Tuesdays until 5pm. Once only a few stragglers are left, he grabs his books and saunters over, plastering on one of his most breathtaking grins ( if he did say so himself ), then leaning against your desk. You don’t look at him, blatant disinterest emanating off of you, but he forges forward. 
“So… I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight?” he asks, preening over how quick all the past yeses came. Men and women fell all over him like water rolls over stone in riverbeds, 
“No.”
“Great, I was thinking maybe that new Italian joint—,” Satoru pauses. Blinks. Registers your words. “…What?”
“No. Is a two letter word so difficult for you to understand?” Satoru is… shocked, for lack of a better word. He’d never actually been told no before. 
“But… why?” His question is whinier than he’d intended, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. You narrow your eyes up at him. 
“I don’t have to explain myself to you — but if you must know, I  go on dates with the man I intend to be in a relationship with,” you say honestly, and Satoru fights back a snort. “I don’t date someone who’s only  good for a quick fucking session.”
“I’m boyfriend material!” he cries indignantly, offended despite the fact that he’d never kept a relationship for more than a few months out of sheer boredom, and you pause before looking him up and down. 
“…Mhmm,” is your only reply, and he pouts. You go back to finishing up, and he thinks for a moment, drumming his fingers against the surface of your desk before shrugging. 
“Interested in hooking up, then?” he asks, and you glance up at him questioningly. “We don’t have to date, we could just have sex.” Not that you’d want to keep him as ‘just a fuckbuddy’ for too long, Satoru thinks. 
You hum softly, seeming to think it over, then give a slight nod. “Sure, we can fuck,” you say with a lazy shrug, then sigh. “But no feelings. I’m not interested, especially not with someone who has a reputation like yours.”
“You say that now, but you’re gonna be beggin’ for me to be your boyfriend,” Satoru chuckles, and you roll your eyes. 
“Don’t hold your breath,” you reply, sounding amused as you cross your arms, and without missing a beat he waggles his eyebrows at you, and you raise one of your own. “What?”
“Wanna get started on this friends-with-benefits thing now? My car’s in the parking lot,” he grins, and you look completely unimpressed. 
You resume picking up your notebooks and textbook, shoving them in your backpack and steadfastly refusing to look at his goofy expression. “I’m not fucking in your dirty-ass backseat,” you reply grumpily. “I might catch something.”
“I’ll have you know my car is amazing and clean and perfect,” Satoru retorts, acting as if his feelings are hurt, and you scoff. 
“Not with you as a driver. Didn’t you hit a sorority mailbox last month?”
He’s silent for a moment. “We’re in philosophy class, you know. Most philosophers say that it’s ‘unwise to root yourself in the past’.”
You just blink at him, then roll your eyes again and slide your laptop into your bag. “That alone tells me everything I need to know.”
“Y’know, you’re really mean,” he pouts, and you have to fight off the urge to smile. Sometimes he was amusing, even though you didn’t want to admit it. 
“I know. It’s one of my best traits,” you reply, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “See you in class.”
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One week later, Gojo finally picks you up — that is, your shared Philosophy course ends and you both head to his car. You’ve both tossed your bags in the back and are sitting in the drive-through of a fast food place waiting on your coffees with you tapping away at your phone while he hands his card through the window so he can pay for the drinks you’d gotten along with his own. 
He pulls forward after getting his card back, then brightens a little as he remembered the question he’d wanted to ask before he’d forgotten after asking if you wanted a drink. 
“Do you want to type your address into my GPS so we can—“ Satoru starts, and his eyes widen when you interrupt him almost immediately. 
“Not at my place. Never at my place, Gojo,” you snap, and he nods almost dumbly. He’d not expected you to be so stern about it, nor for you to deny him heading to your apartment or house or whatever ( especially considering his hookups typically didn’t care as long as they ended up with him in their bed. In the back of his mind an alarm bell rings, but he dumbly chose to ignore it. 
“That’s — That’s fine, no problem, we can go to my place,” he replies, pushing a fake grin on his face. He watches you visibly relax back into the passenger seat, and relaxes himself before pulling up to the second window and taking your drinks. He hands you your drink then pulls away while sipping at his own Diet Coke, glancing at you every now and then as he drives back to his apartment rather than wherever you lived. 
Part of him was nervous; he never really ever brought hookups back to his apartment — hell, he’d only brought like two of his prior girlfriends there, so this was a big break from his normal meet-up for sex. Still, he’d talked so much shit to Suguru when he’d said he’d manage to fuck you, so he couldn’t back out now. 
He’d taken out the trash yesterday, right?
He pulls into the parking lot of his apartment, easing into his spot and putting the car in park before taking a breath and leaning back. You aren’t paying him any attention, still in your phone apparently texting someone from what he could see from the corner of his eye, and once you’re done you lock your phone before turning your body to face him in his seat. 
You ask quietly, “Gojo… are you sure you want to do this?” and he pauses as he starts unclipping his seatbelt. 
“Yeah, of course! Why would I, uh — Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, nodding with a smile. You raise an eyebrow. 
“You’re acting nervous.” You deadpan, and he laughs. 
“Nervous? I’m not nervous! Let’s fuck, babe,” he says brightly, opening his car door and hopping out as you shrug and unclip your own belt. 
“…Don’t call me babe, but whatever. If you’re sure,” you say lazily, then add, “By the way, three of my friends know I came home with you, and I just dropped a location pin in a group chat, so… it’d be easier if you weren’t some creepo murderer.”
Satoru laughs again, this time actually amused. “That’s great, they’ll know the location of the best dick in Japan! Second floor.”
You scoff, but follow him up the stairs, stopping only as he fishes his keys out of his pocket and works on getting them in the lock. Eventually it pops into place, and you follow him inside, toeing off your shoes and following him quietly, eyeing him as he takes his loose coat off and tosses it on the back of his couch before following his lead to the bedroom. He lets you come in before turning to close the door, and is surprised when he turns and your shirt is already on the floor and you’re working on wiggling out of your tight skirt. 
“I — oh! Like to do the work yourself, huh?” He jokes, and you scoff through a playful smile. 
“Please. If we fuck and you just lay there, the entire campus will hear about it before midnight, I promise,” You reply. Satoru just grins. 
“Who says we’ll be done by midnight?” He asks cheekily, and you laugh again. 
“Gojo Satoru, it is two in the afternoon,” you say, and he laughs and starts unbuckling his belt. 
“And?” he purrs, tossing it aside and kicking his pants away after they pool around his ankles, leaving his boxers on as you kick off your own skirt, leaving you in a mismatched bra and underwear set. He’s discovered he much prefers you this way — almost naked and ready to joke around with him — rather than the way you were cold and quiet in class. You actually seemed human here, and he was starting to understand why Suguru had said you were easy to be around; Satoru had thought he was lying just to fuck with him, but apparently you were typically this way in the bedroom and at parties after a few drinks. It was an interesting thing about you to learn in all honesty. 
He presses his front to yours, wasting no time and dipping his head down to kiss you, mashing your lips together hard and his hands snake behind your back and unclip your bra at the same time that you slip the condom you’d taken out of your bra between your teeth and hook your thumbs in the waistband of his own underwear and push them down. He steps out of them as you stumble backwards towards his bed, leading him along before falling back with him on top of you, both of you still kissing. 
You start to unwrap the condom. “You’re a good kisser,” you mumble into his mouth, reaching one hand down to shimmy out of your panties while the other tangles itself in his hair, tugging lightly. Once they’re over the edge of the bed they fall to your ankles and you just step out of them, reaching between your bodies and slipping the condom down his shaft with an experienced sort of ease that faintly amused him.
“Why the tone of surprise?” Satoru laughs, nipping at your bottom lip before starting to kiss a line down your throat, savoring the area over your pulse point as you let out soft, happy sighs.
“Mmm, kinda thought you’d have loser dick — but like, a real loser, not the sexy kind,” you reply honestly, and Satoru would have been offended if he wasn’t so fucking horny. He just laughs against your hot skin  and keeps kissing, about to kneel when you tug him back up. “Don’t need your mouth on my cunt, need your cock in me,” you grunt, and Satoru barely chokes back the whimper that threatens to escape him. 
“G-Gotta — Gotta prep you,” he argues as you reach between your bodies and grip his dick in an almost too-perfect grip. 
“Prepped myself before class, and I’m plenty soaked,” you reply, pressing his head in. He doesn’t bother trying to hide the low groan that tumbles from his lips at the thought of you fingering open the hot cunt he was so close to, then sitting in class with him only a few seats away, ready and waiting for him to fill you. “Plus I enjoy the stretch. Don’t pussy out now, Gojo.”
“Stop calling me Gojo when I’m about to be balls deep in you,” Satoru growls, and you just laugh with a defiant glint in your eye. 
“You gotta earn me saying your first name, loser boy,” you taunt, and he narrows his eyes before bottoming out in one go, watching in satisfaction as your eyes widen and your pupils blow further all at once… then the feeling hits. 
“God, you’re fucking tight,” he groans, letting his head fall. “Fuckin’ hot too.”
“Don’t tell me slippin’ it in is gonna do it for you,” you whisper, and Satoru forces himself to pull out, his eyes squeezing shut at the perfect friction in the glide of his cock slipping out of you, before thrusting back in. 
He starts a steady pumping of his hips, taking you over the edge of the bed like a beast on its bitch at a breeding bench. He can feel your nails digging into his back and scalp and it makes him make a tight fist in the sheets, soft moans falling from his mouth as he fucks into you desperately. 
“F-Fuck — Oh god, Satoru, you fucking bastard-!” you moan, holding tight as he ruts into you, and he laughs breathlessly through a moan of his own. 
“E-Earned it already?” he asks playfully, and you laugh through a moan yourself. 
“Again, thought you were a real loser. Now shut up and keep fucking me,” your words come out in a low purr as you toss one arm around his neck, amd he busies himself with doing as told, not bothered by taking a command to fuck your willing body like this. 
Soft groans of your name and his coupled with cursing and cries for God fill the room as the two of you fuck, your sweat and precum smearing across both of your bodies as you both get closer and closer to orgasm. “C’mon, just like that — gonna cum, gonna cum!” you whisper, and Satoru presses closer and keeps his pace and position the same, listening to the way your voice pitches. He’s been on the verge of cumming himself for the past fifteen minutes, but he’d be damned if he came before you the first time the two of you fucked — not when you still somehow thought he was a loser. 
“Cum for me, babe, cum for me—“ he half-begs lowly, and you huff through a moan. 
“What did I — did I say about calling me babe?” you ask, and he shakes his head. 
“Sorry, sweetheart — God, please, just fucking cum already!”
You laugh a little, a laugh that breaks apart like brittle ice at the end as your pussy starts clenching tightly around his cock and you dig your nails into his skin hard enough to leave marks. “Fuck — fuck, fuck — fuckfuckfuck, cumming-!”
Satoru’s eyes roll back in his head at the feeling of you clenching so tightly around him, and the sounds of your cries as you cum around have his own falling from his lips as he fills the condom wrapped around his cock and you slowly relax completely into the bed, unmoving aside from a couple stray twitches and a lazy hand against his chest to get him off of you. He falls bonelessly onto the bed next to you, tugging the condom off and tossing it into the trash can by his bed before returning to letting his legs dangle off of the side of bed with his feet flat against the floor like yours. 
He waits a moment, enjoying the silence between you both before asking, “Well?”
You make a confused noise and turn to look at him. “Well what?” you ask, amd he chuckles. 
“Am I a loser?” he asks cheekily, and you laugh brightly. 
“Oh, definitely. Big loser energy from you, Satoru,” you reply. 
“What?!” he exclaims, turning onto his side to look at you head on, and you laugh again and nod as you sit up and stretch with your arms over your head. 
“Yep. But hey — you’re a loser with good dick,” you offer, standing on slightly wobbly legs, and start to get dressed. 
“What a comfort,” he mutters, acting annoyed, and you see through it just as he knew you would. 
“It should be,” you reply, zipping up your skirt then putting on the shirt you’d thrown over your forearm. “See you later, loser. My ride’s outside.”
Satoru’s quiet for a second, unused to girls just leaving, much less having already called cars to wait for them outside while he fucks them, “…Yeah, later…” And you’re out the door in less than five minutes with nothing but a wave and a yawn.
After a moment he stands and makes his way into the kitchen, peeping out the window to see you climb into the passenger side of a car driven by someone with short pink hair. He sighs. 
The sex was good — but today did not go like he’d expected. 
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𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐒. 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 — 𝟎𝟗.𝟐𝟏𝐏𝐌
𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐒. 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 dropped a pin!
meet me at starbucks
i’m getting a coffee
then we can fuck or wtv
𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲 ! — 𝟎𝟗.𝟐𝟏𝐏𝐌
why r u getting coffee at 9pm
𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐒. 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 — 𝟎𝟗.𝟐𝟐𝐏𝐌
don’t ask questions your tiny brain can’t understand the answers to
𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲 ! — 𝟎𝟗.𝟐𝟐𝐏𝐌 
i literally only asked why ur getting coffee so late :(
ur so mean :((
𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐒. 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 — 𝟎𝟗.𝟐𝟐𝐏𝐌
and yet u still like to fuck me?? lmfao loser
Satoru throws his phone down on the passenger’s side seat, pouting with a huff and drumming his fingers against the top of the steering wheel as he slowly follows the line of traffic towards the Starbucks you’d pin dropped, and he sees you before you see him. You’re texting someone, a large coffee in hand, and you look… happy. Satoru didn’t think he’d ever actually seen you smile a real smile before, not in class when you’d ignored him for months before he’d proposed being fuckbuddies and not even during the last couple months that the two of you had been hooking up. Every now and then in between fucking each other he’d catch you gazing down at your phone with a fond look in your eyes, but he didn’t really ask about it anymore; you always dodged his questions, and it always led to you being in a foul mood and leaving him. He learned quickly to just… not say anything and let you do your own thing so he could empty his balls and you stay happy and with him. 
Stay with him? God, what was the matter with him? He sounded like a clingy high-schooler, desperate to keep their first relationship. No, he was supposed to sleep with you once, get off, then go laugh about it with Suguru — not… whatever he was doing. It had been six months, why was he still here — fuck, who was he kidding? Satoru knew exactly why he was still here: he liked you. A lot. 
He’s in too deep, and now he can’t back out. 
You open the passenger side door, disrupting him from his thoughts. “Hmm, on time as usual. Desperate, huh?” you ask, sipping at your coffee, and it takes everything in Satoru to scoff at your words and start up the car as you clip on your seatbelt, because the answer was yes. He is desperate. He wants you, wants to hold your hand and take photos with you and brag about how beautiful you are to Suguru and his other friends, and wants for the world to know that you were each other’s partner. He wants to kiss you, not in the sloppy way that left your lipstick smeared across your face as he fucked into you, but softly and slowly so you can tell with each tiny shift how much he loves you. Yeah, you’re mean to him, you make fun of him all the damn time — but god, does he fucking like it. 
It’s a slow, careful motion when he reaches a hand over to first grasp at your thigh before moving over ever so slightly to hold your hand as he drives, and a pang bounces through his chest as you immediately tug your hand away and turn away from him. 
He doesn’t try to touch you again for the rest of the car ride, and before he knows it he’s once again back at his apartment, the motions of making his way to the bedroom with you at his back all a blur. You’re on him before he can remind himself to breathe as the sight of you bare and vulnerable before him takes his breath away as it always does — but you aren’t vulnerable, are you? You’re closed off, all sharp corners and twisted smiles, but maybe — just maybe — he’s blunting them a bit. 
“O-Oh God — oh, fuck-!” Satoru whimpers softly, his thick eyelashes fluttering as he fists his hands in the sheets beneath him while you bounce on his cock, tiny gasps falling from your lips as you swallow up all of his thick length. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes as drowns in the sensations of your sopping cunt taking him entirely, his fat tip slamming against your cervix with each rough drop down. 
“Fuck yes, Satoru!” You hiss sharply, clenching around him and digging your nails into his shoulders. “Y’fill me up so fuckin’ good, ‘Toru-!”
“Yes, yes — fuckfuckfuck, c’mon!” Satoru whines, bucking his hips up to meet yours as they drop down harshly. “You’re so fucking hot, sweetheart, so fuckin’ wet!”
Lewd wet noises and the slapping of bare flesh along with the crude banging of his headboard against the walk fill the bedroom, mixing with the sounds falling from your lips, as well as his. Satoru sits up, wrapping and arm around your middle as yours instinctively loop around his shoulders, your lips catching his in a searing kiss that sends a fond warmth from his mouth all the way down to his toes. 
“God, yes,” you moan into his mouth, “So fuckin’ good, Satoru — don’t stop, don’t stop-!”
“Won’t, can’t, won’t stop!” Satoru promises through a moan of his own, a deep groan following it triggered by the feeling of your tongue running along his. His fingers dig into your skin hard enough to bruise as you tear your mouth away from his in order to latch onto his neck and bite down, nipping and kissing and sucking as his head falls back in time with the feeling of the soft heat kindling in his belly start growing hotter and hotter. “F-Fuck — damn it, m’gonna cum!”
“Cum for me, Satoru,” you whine sharply, and he whimpers a little. 
“B-But you-?” he starts, his words devolving into a garbled moan as you pick up the pace. 
“I’m close too — c’mon, ‘Toru, cum with me!” You plead softly, and Satoru needs no further prodding. He clings to you tightly as he starts cumming, his own fingernails digging into your skin as his hips buck up messily into your welcoming hips with each new burst of cum. Your voice pitches in the way he knows it does during your own orgasm, and he forces the haze away just enough so that he can look at you and watch you fall apart on his lap. 
God, you’re beautiful. 
The two of you bask in the moment for about ten minutes before you finally end it, pulling away and staggering into the bathroom in the hallway to piss. Satoru sighs and tosses the condom in the trash can after tying it off, falling back against his bed with an arm thrown over his eyes. He can hear you come back into the bedroom, can hear you moving around, assumingly so you can no doubt be ready to leave again — which is why he’s surprised at the feeling of the blankets beneath him being thrown back and the mattress dipping beneath your weight. 
He stares at you in surprise as you begin making yourself comfortable, fluffing your pillow and finding the spot on the side of the bed you’d chosen before you finally catch him staring. “Go to sleep, Gojo,” you mutter, shimmying around beneath the blankets as you try to get comfortable in a technically strange bed. 
His eyes widen in half-wanting shock. “You’re staying the night?” Satoru asks hopefully, and you sigh. 
“I’m tired,” you reply simply. “Now go to sleep.”
Sayoru nods wildly, his heart pounding. You were staying the night — you were staying. With him. “Yeah… yeah! Okay. Sleep. I can do that!”
You nod tiredly. “Good,” you say, amd you click off the lamp on the nightstand next to you as Satoru does the same. An odd silence fills the room as Satoru follows your previous motions of getting ready to rest before finally getting comfortable under the blankets. 
He rolls over to rest on his side, staring at the way you lay with your back to him. “…Goodnight,” Satoru murmurs quietly, lacing his fingers through yours. It doesn’t sting as harshly as before when you move your hand away, considering you do allow him to drap his arm over your waist while pressing his chest to your back. You’re silent for a moment, but you do eventually respond as his warmth begins to seep into you.
“…Goodnight, Satoru,” you say, and he hums drowsily. 
You’re both asleep within fifteen minutes. Neither of you comment on how well the two of your bodies slot together outside of sex. 
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It’s 1am when Satoru wakes up, his vision blurry and the red numbers on his bedside clock more aggressive than he remembered. 
Blearily he pats the mattress behind himself, wondering why he’d turned away from you in his sleep, and finds nothing but cool sheets, which leads him to rolling over. He’s startled, almost certain he’ll find the bathroom light on in the hallway, but no — it’s darker than he’d like, even at twenty-three, and you’re not here. Snatching up his cellphone, a quick scan of it tells him all he needs to know. 
You left him. 
Again. 
Three days later, Satoru finds himself parked in front of the dining hall on campus, waiting for you to come out, likely followed by one or two of your friends. After waiting about ten minutes, you do just that — only you’re walking closer to an older man in a suit than he for some reason felt comfortable with, and he moves around in his seat a little to get comfortable while watching your interactions with the man with narrowed eyes. He grits his teeth for a moment when the man touches your arm in a too-casual way, then crosses his own when he sees you smile at him. The two of you stop on the sidewalk several paces from his car, then finally split off. 
“So… Who was that old guy?” he asks as you slip into the passenger seat, and you pause as you put your bag in the backseat. He doesn’t want to just foolishly believe that you’re genuinely confused, but he also doesn’t want to think ill of you without reason, so he ‘decides’ to withhold judgment for now. 
“What?” you ask, confused, and he sighs in blatant annoyance. 
“The old guy. The one you were literally just talking to,” he grouses. “The one who was getting so touchy.”
“‘Old guy’ — wait, the blond?” You ask, almost in a shocked way, and he nods. You snort; Satoru doesn’t know what’s so funny. “That was professor Kento — my History professor,” you reply, and Satoru can feel his cheeks heat up a little, but he refuses to look at you as you start laughing. 
“Oh my god! You were fucking jealous of Professor Kento?!” you giggle, and while he’s embarrassed he can’t deny that he enjoys the sound, even if it was at his own expense. What the hell was wrong with him? “That’s so fucking wild — like c’mon man, we aren’t even dating. If I wanted to fuck Professor Kento, it wouldn’t even fucking matter.” A lump settles in Satoru’s throat at your words. 
Yes, it would. 
“But… you aren’t, right?” Satoru asks carefully as he pulls the car out of park, and you sigh. 
“No, Satoru. I’m not going to fuck my History professor.” you say softly, blatantly amused, but it’s too late now — Satoru’s upset, and he can’t stop the words from coming out. 
“Because I just — I don’t want anyone else with you like me, y’know?” he asks, almost paranoid. He fails to notice the way you stiffen next to him and forges on, his heartbeat quickening as his panic picks up. “It’s just — really like you. Like a lot. And it scares me. But it doesn’t scare me enough to not want you to myself, you know? I just want you and want to be with you and—“
“Take me home.”
Satoru pauses. “W-What?” he asks, uncertain of the icy tone you’d taken on when interrupting him. 
“My address is in your GPS,” you say quietly, then repeat yourself. “Take me home.”
“But-“ Satoru whispers, but you shake your head almost violently. 
“Now. Or I’ll walk,” you threaten lowly, and that’s all it takes for him to listen. The rest of the car ride is spent in silence until he reaches your apartment. You’re out of the car before he can say your name, and he’s following you before he can even ask himself why. 
He’s right behind you as you go into your kitchen, watching in surprise as you pull out a large bottle of wine from the fridge while simultaneously throwing open a cabinet next to the refrigerator in order to pull out a wine glass. You pull the cork out, fill the glass, and empty it in one go before refilling it again.  
Tentatively, Satoru says, “Please, I just — I think I’m in love with you. Can’t we talk about this?” and you laugh borderline hysterically. 
“And say what?! What do you expect of me, Gojo?” you ask, your tone harsh enough to make him flinch, but he answers you anyway. 
“I… I want you to be my girlfriend,” he says softly, feeling smaller than he ever had before. 
You laugh again, this time less hysterically and more in disbelief. “No,” You say, and Satoru blinks in shock. 
“What? N-No?” He asks, voice shaky. 
“No!” you snap icily, turning back to your wine. You empty your glass again as Satoru begins to reflect on the situation at hand; it’s bitterly ironic, the deja vū he’s feeling. This conversation is brutally close to the first time he’d asked you out all those months ago with the sole goal in mind being getting in your pants and ditching you, whether that meant hurting you in the process or not. How poetically cruel ( and simultaneously deserved ) that he’s the one hurt in the end. 
“Can I ask why?” he finally asks, and you turn around tk face him again, your eyes wild and cold. 
“I don’t owe you an explanation,” you growl, and he lifts his hands in surrender while nodding in agreement. 
“I know that, I just—“ Satoru swallows hard. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Do something wrong? God, Gojo, yes! You asked me to be your fucking girlfriend — I literally said before we ever fucked that you couldn’t catch feelings, what is wrong with you?!
“I didn’t mean to,” he whispers, his chest filled with a stabbing pain he’d nkt ever expected to experience while in your company.
“What does that matter now?! This thing we’ve been doing is over,” you mutter, taking a long drink of your wine. Satoru’s eyes widen exponentially, and the panic begins to set in anew. 
“Over?!” he exclaims, shaking his head a little, and you scoff.
“Of course it’s over!” You snap angrily, pointing at him accusingly. “You ruined it! Feelings were never supposed to be involved!”
Satoru wilts completely. 
“I’m sorry,” he says, just as quietly as before, and you sigh audibly as you lean against the counter. 
“An apology won’t fix this,” you say bitterly. Satoru wants to argue, wants to assure you that he can be good and do better, that the two of you don’t have to stop seeing each other, but he’s instead startled when the door to the entry hall opens without warning, and he spins to glance at the doorway like whoever came in is intruding as you groan and cross your arms after putting down your wine, covering your eyes with one hand at the same time. 
“C’mon Yuuji, kick your shoes off under the coat rack,” a deep voice rumbles, and a man with pink hair strolls in like he owns the place. Satoru would be extremely alarmed if you’d seemed so yourself, but you made no move to react, apparently used to the man being in your apartment. “I’m gonna grab a beer from the kitchen and see if she’s home yet.” His eyebrows raise with ill-concealed interest when he finally lays them on Satoru. “And who are you?”
“Who are you?” Satoru parrots quietly, a sickening feeling twisting his stomach as his mind thinks up just what scenario could lead to a random man in your apartment — but was he random?
Roommates. Please, please just be roommates, Satoru finds himself begging in his kind, though no one could hear him. 
“I’m one of the two people on the lease of this apartment, and the boyfriend of the woman behind you,” the man says, narrowing his eyes; a jolt of nausea stabs through Satoru’s stomach. “I’ll ask again: who are you?”
“He’s no one, Sukuna,” you mutter, sounding annoyed. Yet another sharp pain shocks through Satoru’s chest, and he turns back to look at you in disbelief as you walk past him and wrap your arms around Sukuna’s waist, hugging him. Your voice is muffled by his chest when you say, “Welcome home, baby,” and he kisses the crown of your head and you let go, drifting over to the younger looking ( also very confused and clearly a little uncomfortable ) boy who resembles ‘Sukuna’. “C’mon Yuuji, help me set up the new console Sukuna and I got last Friday.”
The teenager follows without hesitation, the awkwardness on his face from the odd altercation fading as he starts talking to you excitedly about some boy in his Biology II class he thinks is cute, and suddenly Satoru is left alone with Sukuna. The other man is staring at him, and it's making him uncomfortable. 
“Y’slept with her?” he asks finally, and again Satoru is startled. He just slowly nods, and Sukuna shrugs and moves past him to the fridge, fishing out a beer and popping the top off before taking a large swig. “No big deal. You’re not the first she’s run around with.”
Satoru’s startled all over again. “You… don’t care?”
“Oh, I absolutely care! I’ll have you know I’m a damn jealous man — but I know I’ve got nothing to worry about,” Sukuna chuckles, looking completely unbothered as he shrugs again. “She’s my woman after all — has been since junior high.” He laughs, takes another drink, and continues while making his way over to the bottle of wine and the half empty glass she’d left on the counter. “Hell, she even officially adopted my kid brother with me when our grandfather died last year — Pretty sure she and I are set.”
Satoru feels sick, and he wants to go home. He understands now, he realizes that he never had a claim to your heart at all. God, he was an idiot. 
Sukuna hums slightly in thought, tipping his head to the side ever so slightly. “Her sleeping around every now and then makes the sex better though. Every now and then we’ll agree we wanna spice things up, and she’ll pick some poor idiot to fuck. It makes me angry, gets me all jealous and possessive, and since we both love it when I fuck her like I hate her — even if that couldn’t be farther from the truth — it’s a double win.”
“So you just — you cheat on each other just to boost your sex?” Satory asks, completely in disbelief. Sukuna just scoffs and shakes his head, knocking back the rest of his beer before chasing it with the remnants of what you had left in your wine glass before crossing his arms.
“Nah, she’s it for me — never been interested in anyone else. Besides, I know she’ll always come back to me. She’s proven that today, hasn’t she?”
That stung — but he wasn’t wrong. You had proven yourself to your boyfriend again, and Satoru looked like nothing but a fool. 
“Go home, Gojo,” Sukuna finally says, finally sounding annoyed. It seems his patience with Satoru being in his home has run as thin as possible. “She’s never going to love you, so leave. There’s nothing for you here.”
Absently Satoru wonders how Sukuna could possibly know his name when he’d never given it, until he registers that Sukuna must have known the entire time who he was because you’d told him about him, and didn’t that just make it worse? He’d been an idiot, had been so damn sure that you’d love him back. 
Fuck. Just like before, Gojo Satoru was not nervous. 
He was heartbroken instead. 
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𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.
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