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imaginedanvrs · 6 months

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my demon gave me everything

part 4 l masterlist

summary: dark!natasha romanoff x reader. Natasha Romanoff saves the world. Morals, lifestyle and past aside, the fact is that she puts her life on the line for everyone else. And for this, she believes she’s owed something. She saves billions of lives on the regular, so why not take the occasional one for herself?

word count: 5.2k

warnings: established kidnapping, abuse, power dynamics, degrading, strap on sex, manipulation

Natasha was proud of herself when she heard you cry behind the very much not soundproof door. For one, she liked how you looked when tears were streaming down your cheeks and she could imagine it picture-perfect just from the sound, it was too pretty of a sight not to have glowing in her head. For another thing, she had been worried she broke you too soon.

The way you had let the redhead fuck you the night before was…different. None of the other girls had given in so quickly, not to mention been so soaked. You hadn’t even been with her a full twenty four hours and you were practically begging to have Natasha’s fingers inside you. She wasn’t necessarily disappointed in that because it had been quite the sight to be the first one to touch you, but if anything that should have made you even more wary about it.

The spy had wondered if perhaps your lack of experience with relationships and intimacy had made you too innocent, that you were so naive that the first sign of physical affection was one that you perceived as good. But then again, that hadn’t been your first impression. You had fought back only hours beforehand. Then the following morning, nothing. The numb look plastered across your face in the shower was one that Natasha only saw once she had completely broken someone down to nothing, void of all sense of self or hope. But you weren't wet so Natasha didn’t pursue, there was no fun in that for her. She much rather enjoyed making a woman wet so that they could be far more ashamed after.

Yet even after that, giving yourself to the Avenger and becoming so broken after, you still wanted to leave. She hadn’t gotten to you yet, she wasn’t sure why, but Natasha was glad of it. She had put a lot of work into getting you in that building with her, what a waste it would be if her fun was over so soon. She could only hope your turmoil lasted at least another month. It was hard to tell. Usually Natasha could precisely predict how long someone would last after the first day, but for you she just wasn’t sure.

A single chime from Natasha’s phone pulled her from her thoughts, knowing what it meant before she even took a glance at her device. A brief message from Tony explained S.H.I.E.L.D were having some transportation issues and needed the Widow to assist them. The redhead sent off a confirmation text before putting out her cigarette and heading towards the bathroom where you were still sitting on the shower ledge.

You didn’t look up when Natasha opened the door and strolled in, observing the burn you were nursing with concern. So precious. “I’ve got to go out.” The redhead announced. You kept your attention on your leg. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be but if I’m not back by the evening don’t bother trying to make some dinner, most of the electricity is turned off when I’m not here.” She continued, you listened carefully to that but showed no signs of acknowledging. Natasha knew you heard. “There’s crackers if you get hungry.” She said finally as she walked away, leaving the door wide open so you could hear her retreating footsteps and the beeps of her unlocking and relocking the main door behind her. You figured you should at least try and get a general sense of her security system but knowing that so much power went out when she left was definitely a blow. You scowled at the irony you were sure wasn’t lost on the redhead.

Once you figured you had put the burn under cold water for long enough, you left the bathroom and studied the apartment before you. Still adamant on finding a way out, you strolled around the wide space scanning for anything you hadn’t spotted before. You knew the kitchen and the bathroom were a bust and the living room was too vast to provide any help to you, so you set your eyes on the impressive stairway and made your way up. The steps were especially chilling under your bare feet but you tried to ignore the sensation once you reached the door and examined the thick barricade.

You tried the handle for some dumb luck and was unsurprised to find no lean way so you scanned the keypad for any signs of continued use of specific keys. Again, you went to try the first combination you could think of but on the first number the light flashed red and an abrasive sound of denial came from the lock. Confused, you tried every number but every time you were met with the same sound and light. Defeated, you carried on down the steps, knowing it was useless to wait outside that door in hopes of surprising Natasha when she got back.

Continuing back into the bedroom, your gaze fell to the balcony door and you immediately rushed to it thinking it would give way but it was of course locked. You sat back on the bed, feeling defeated and emotional again. You were just so tired and homesick and cooped up. You began wishing you hadn’t pissed Natasha off before so that you would have enjoyed more time outside but swiftly denied myself to ponder on that. I will not strive to make that psycho content just so she can give my ‘outside time’.

You despised the feeling of being some common animal that was being kept in a cage to adjust to a new life. You weren’t her pet and you refused to stay there any longer, so with a sudden burst, you charged at the window and kicked it as hard as you could. Nothing. So you kicked again, and again and again. Not even a scratch. You kept going until your legs and foot grew undeniably sore and collapsed against the glass in a heap, beginning to sob once more.

You spent the entirety of that day on the sofa wrapped up in some blankets you had found in the bottom of Natasha’s wardrobe. You had wanted to stay in bed, but laying there only reminded you of what you had done in it with the redhead, stirring up feelings and thoughts you didn’t want to process. So instead, you stayed on the sofa and watched how the sky and city transformed throughout the day, too tired to grow bored of the sight.

The TV didn’t work and you genuinely weren't sure if it was because the spy had turned the power off or if she had just never used it and therefore hadn’t ever set it up. You assumed the Avenger had an excessive collection of computers and electronics in the flat, but none of them were anywhere you could access them so you were limited to the windows for your entertainment.

You had thought about asking Natasha for a clock or watch of some kind. You hated not knowing exactly what the time was as you were only able to make a rough assumption based on the sun’s position. The time you had spent wondering had started to make you irritable. You aimed to bring it up to the redhead organically although how easy that would be you weren’t sure.

It was strange not having her there. Even when she was out of sight, Natasha’s presence filled every inch of the space in the apartment and without her it almost felt like there was too much space for yourself. You had no idea what to do with it, so you confined yourself to one spot and strived to not let her overtake your thoughts. You knew you needed to keep thinking of a way to get out but you just wanted some peace from anything to do with her.

The sun was setting when Natasha got back, so it must have been at least seven. You didn’t lift your head in her direction when you heard the two beeps and locks opening, or even when her boots thudded against the staircase as she made her way down. You made a point of keeping your eyes trained on the city while hers examined your state as she trudged across the room towards you. You wondered if she was tired.

You finally looked up at Natasha once she stood in front of you within arm’s reach. She had a white plastic bag in hand that seemed to have two small boxes within it. “I’m back.” She announced. You clenched your jaw and looked away, wishing she could’ve given you peace for an hour longer. “Come eat.” She made it sound like an invitation, but you both knew she wasn’t really offering so after a beat you dragged yourself from the makeshift security of the blankets and towards the table.

Natasha had put the food onto some plates that she laid on the table and went to grab some cutlery while you sat down to inspect the contents. It looked to be an italian salad with a small amount of dressing drizzled over without touching the croutons or tomatoes. Just how you liked it. A large part of you was suspicious of the dish in front of you, especially as you hadn’t seen the redhead prepare it and had no clue what could be secretly hidden in it, but you hadn't eaten all day and the colourful salad was undeniably tempting. But also, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care what could be in the food. You were too tired to play Natasha’s mind games and timidly roll the dice she put before you. So as soon as she put your cutlery down you dug in and finished the meal in a matter of minutes.

You felt perfectly fine after you swallowed the final bite and took the time it took Natasha to finish to study her as subtly as you could. Her auburn hair was plaited with a few loose tendrils hanging loosely infront of her face. Any other time you would have admired it. Apart from that, she looked no different and while of course you had no idea what she had been called away for, she had been gone a long while so naturally you were curious. You wondered how often she would be away for such a long period of time and if it would ever be longer. Would it be something you might be able to see a pattern in after a while? Unlikely. Threats to national, international and intergalactic security wouldn’t be so threatening if they had a rota to abide by.

“Clean up for me, malysh,” Natasha said with an unexpected gentleness. She didn’t look at you as she said it, nor while she walked past you but there was no doubt it lacked her usual demanding undertone.

You took both your plates and cutlery and brought them up to the sink to begin cleaning but caught sight of the kettle before doing so. You didn’t have any bad intentions with it, you genuinely just wanted a cup of tea for some familiarity but the last you had looked there had been no tea bags anyway so you sighed and continued to wash up. By the time you were done Natasha was back though you hadn’t seen her walk past you and once you stepped away from the kitchen you found her sitting on the sofa in the exact spot you had been lying in. You glared at the back of the spy’s head but eventually began trudging over.

The closer you got, you noticed that the redhead was reading a book she must have been keeping upstairs. The cover of it suggested it was a French murder mystery set in Paris, not usually your thing but you were so eager for something to do you would read any similar novel she might be keeping upstairs.

You perched awkwardly on the edge of the sofa as far away from the spy as you could while her eyes ran across the page swiftly. You glanced at the TV and wondered if it worked now that Natasha was back so you picked up the remote you had left nearby and tried the main button. A blank screen stared back at you so you looked to Natasha to see if she had acknowledged it. Her attention stayed on her book.

“Could you turn the TV on?” You asked after half a minute of awkward silence. Natasha turned over another page. “Please?” You forced out after a beat but the redhead continued to ignore you. You sat back slowly and pondered your next words. “You know it’s pretty hard to tell what the time is…” you started. “Maybe I could have a small clock or watch or…something,” you suggested but it fell on deaf ears. You stared at Natasha for a short while longer, waiting for any indicator she had even heard anything you had said because you knew she had just like you knew she could feel you watching her.

As soon as you could feel yourself grow frustrated again, you got up from the sofa and headed for the bathroom, figuring that putting space between yourself and the older woman was the best way to stop yourself from doing something reckless. So instead, you started brushing your teeth and washing your face as you knew you weren't going to be doing anything else, you might as well go to bed. You didn’t really want to, but you also didn’t want to be near Natasha and that made your options very limited.

Some time later you heard the Avenger enter the room though with your back to her you were confused by the sound of a heavy thud followed by Natasha dragging something across the floor. You frowned but didn’t turn to look, aiming to appear asleep. Even when the redhead disappeared into the bathroom you didn’t dare sneak a glance and what she had brought in and felt the ever present sense of unease grow, like a child during bedtime convinced there's a monster in their room.

When Natasha returned you could hear the sound of a lock turning, helping you imagine some kind of box the redhead had brought in. You strained your ears more and just about caught the sound of a buckle and something else being tossed on the bed before Natasha removed her clothes and put them for the wash. More shuffling and eventually she was moving the covers back and shuffling towards you. You froze until you were suddenly being shoved onto the floor. You braced yourself for impact just in time but still dazed nonetheless. This time, you gaped back at Natasha just as she grabbed a handful of your hair and dragged you up to your knees to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide for you to kneel between them and stare openly at the black harness she wore and sizeable dildo attached.

“Get it wet for me, detka.” Natasha instructed, her voice as husky as it was the last time she had you in such an intimate place. Your eyes snapped at hers and you could immediately sense that she wasn’t going to be taking no as an answer. Her eyes were dark and drunk on a power she knew she held every second that you were in that apartment but particularly when she had me like this.

She grabbed the silicone toy with her other hand when you were too dazed to respond and slapped it a little across your cheek impatiently. “I- I don’t know-” you stammered at the unpractised scene you found myself in. Of course you had watched porn and read smut with this but you had never done it and now that you actually could you found yourself intimidated by the toy presented to you. It was bigger than anything you had ever used on yourself and you were suddenly very unsure of what you were even meant to do.

“It’s not hard, malysh,” Natasha huffed and pushed the head past your parted lips without any warning. “Even a dumb mutt like you can do it,” she said before taking both hands to the back of your head and forcing you down on her strap. You immediately tried to brace yourself by grabbing at Natasha’s thighs but this proved no help when the toy hit the back of your throat and you began to cough and gargle. Through tear filled eyes, you tried to look at the redhead pleadingly for some leanway, not understanding that this only worked her up more and she continued to push you down until your nose was against her stomach.

You hit her thighs with as much strength as you could muster as she held you in that position, desperate for air and a break on your burning throat, until she pushed you off her toy and let you gasp for air while she kept you close. You coughed and wheezed in a panic, not even noticing the tears streaming down your face or the spit on your chin. All the while Natasha soaked up the view until you had gotten enough oxygen back into your body. Your breathing still wasn’t normal and you weren’t ready to try again, but the more experienced woman forced her strap into your mouth once more, this time guiding you to roughly bob your head on her toy. She didn’t make you take the whole length every time, easing the pressure off of your throat and instead making your jaw ache from the unfamiliar action.

Her fingers had a hold of the majority of your hair and tightened every so often just to make you whine at the painful sensation of her pulling on your scalp. Just because she could. “That’s it, we just gotta loosen up that sensitive little gag reflex of yours, don’t we?” Natasha cooed and bucked her hips just to hear you gag and prove her point. You gave a muffled protest around the toy and the redhead chuckled.

“God, I could keep you like this for hours,” the spy breathed out as she watched a fresh set of tears start up in your eyes. “I bet that would just turn you into a cockdrunk whore, huh?” She spat and when you didn’t even try to respond she pulled the strap away and slapped you. Your head didn’t spin too far to the side due to her unwavering grip. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” you said, voice hoarse and weak.

“That’s yes daddy,” Natasha corrected and your cheeks heated up.

“I…” you started but one warning look from the redhead was enough for you to correct yourself. “Yes daddy,” you said and was ashamed to feel your cunt clench around nothing as the words left your lips. Natasha smirked and hauled you back onto the bed before pushing your face into the pillows and lifting your ass up. You went to squirm away but she placed a firm hand on your waist as she lined her cock up with the other and ran it through your embarrassingly wet folds.

“Wait!” You tried but Natasha was already dragging the dildo up and down your slit, allowing you to hear just how wet you were for her and making you bathe in shame before she pushed the thick toy inside you.

It was a strike of blazing hot sensations. Every inch of Natasha’s cock was thrust inside you within a split second and just like that, she was anchored inside you and you were bound to her. Every nerve in your body was ablaze while not a single cell in your brain could respond. Everything was alight and it was blinding yet you could do nothing to stop it and would do anything to keep it. Then suddenly Natasha withdrew and forced herself in again and you became entirely too aware of the stretch, of the size, of the fullness. It was all far too much but you were trapped between the redhead and her bed and not a single muscle within you was strong enough to even attempt to move.

To add to it all, you could feel your slick on your thighs and heard yourself moan into the pillow. You couldn’t help it. Any of it. It hurt so much but it felt so so good. It was entirely too easy for Natasha to pump her cock into your cunt, stuffing you to the brim every time and sending your nerves into a frenzy.

“I knew you’d fucking love this,” the redhead grunted as she planted her hand into the back of your head and used it as leverage to fuck you better with. You clenched around the toy the moment she did and she smirked, thrusting her hips wildly against you and revelling in the mess she had made you become. You were a puddle in her bed and could only rely on Natasha to build you back up again. Not yet though. She wanted to play with you first and took her time in doing so.

Natasha was insatiable, never getting enough of your desperate whines every time she pulled back too far or waited a moment longer to push her cock back into your cunt. She edged and teased you relentlessly for hours, making you beg for things you never dreamed you would. You gave yourself to her and allowed the spy to do whatever she liked with you under the illusion that she would make it all better if you did, that she would set you ablaze in the most euphoric way imaginable. She was everything.

You passed out after cumming numerous times, collapsing in a heap and letting the exhaustion clock you out for the night. Luckily, Natasha was too and content to let the rest of her attention to you be for the sole purpose of cleaning you both up, not wanting to have to deal with it the next day. She was amused to find she was even able to change the bed sheets without you stirring. Granted, it was your first time in some sense of the word and the redhead had worked you far past my limits as she had intended to.

Natasha watched you sleep for a while before she even considered it for herself, knowing you were going to be flat out for a long time. She was glad that you weren’t still numb to sex, that that morning had just been some disassociated state that she wondered if she would find you in the next morning. She didn’t much care if she did, but she was still curious to know because Natasha was still finding you challenging to predict. She hadn’t expected you to become so willing again so soon yet seeing that you were allowed her to think about how she could take things with you. There was still some trial and error to be done, but Natasha was gradually figuring out the best ways to break you.

You felt nothing but achy when you woke up. You grimaced at first until you realised the main area of the discomfort and sunk further into the bed and found yourself more mortified than you had been the morning before. How had you let that happen again? Except it was far worse than last time because Natasha really hadn’t had to use a knife to threaten her way into your pants.

You were grateful to find she wasn’t lying next to you but listened out for any signs of her in the bathroom or kitchen, getting nothing. You hauled myself from the bed, set on the shower as quickly as possible to try and feel clean again and hoping it would be more effective the second time around. Thankfully it was, though that may have been partly due to the absence of any unwanted company as you lathered myself in soap, even washing your hair as swiftly as possible.

Staying in the shower, you felt your muscles start to relax under the steaming water and were able to focus on the sounds and feelings surrounding you for a few moments of bliss that you wouldn’t end up regretting later on. It was only once the heat started to make you light headed that you dried yourself off and headed back to the bedroom.

That’s when you noticed the notepad left on Natasha’s side of the bed. You started towards it with some apprehension and as you got closer you noticed there was a HB pencil and square rubber laying next to it. No sharpener. The notepad had no lines inside and was the type that was held together by two thin pieces of cardboard on either side.

“Behave and I’ll get you a treat.” That was what Natasha had said. “Like a notepad.” You scoffed and threw the ‘gift’ back down on the bed next to the clothes the redhead had lain out for you. Instead, you made your way over to the wardrobe to get something else and rummaged through all the options.

You were tempted to piece together an outfit with the spy’s leather jacket and combat boots, just to piss her off, but you thought it best to try and stay on her good side for a while until you could figure out a stable plan to get out. Sure, not going through her clothes would be a good way to do that, however you were getting tired of walking around without trousers so you grabbed the first pair of sweatpants you saw and paired them with the shirt and fresh underwear Natasha had left out. You yearned for the comfort of your own clothes and headed for the kitchen.

There was still no sign of the redhead as you searched her cupboards for something to eat and settled on some fruit left in the fridge. As you began eating, you wondered if you would be able to use the pencil as a weapon. Sure, it wouldn’t be as good as the knife, but used with enough force it could be something promising. Natasha clearly didn’t deem it much of a threat or she wouldn’t have given it to you. Then again, you figured she had left you the knife just so she could use it against you. You couldn’t underestimate her again.

When you finished your breakfast and washed up the bowl, you paused next to the oven for a moment, remembering that Natasha said the power would be off whenever she wasn’t there. You turned the dial and waited for the sound of something igniting and upon hearing nothing determined that the redhead was out. You smiled at the small victory of knowing you could use that method to determine her whereabouts in the future. It was progress.

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for your mind to wander back to your night with the redhead, replaying the very vivid memories of the degrading ways she touched and talked to you. And how you had reacted. So you soon caved and went back to the bedroom to retrieve the notepad and supplies and brought them back to the sofa that still had several blankets over it but had since been folded neatly. At least you could both appreciate tidiness.

You tapped your pencil against the notepad as you studied the city before you. You already spent countless hours staring out at it, you just weren't used to sketching landscapes. It took several attempts to start, but once you realised you weren’t going to be sharing the final result with anyone, you allowed your hand to roam freely across the page and began collecting the buildings together with your pencil, eventually becoming immersed in the art the way you often did.

You gave voice to the chaos of the city and the confidence to the skyscrapers that acted as the foundations and the awe of the people below. You sauntered around the apartment to get all angles and different insights, different stories, different ages. All expressed across numerous pages in the notepad until the sun dispersed behind the buildings and the true nightlife got to shine across new pages.

You didn’t even realise Natasha was home until her shadow fell over the notepad. You jumped, knocking everything off of your lap and backing away from the redhead who watched you with a bemused expression. Her hair was still in a plait. You liked it like that. She trudged over to the kitchen and put a pack of beers in the fridge, keeping one for herself and taking it through to the bedroom where you heard the balcony door slide open and partly shut.

Trying to ignore the redhead’s presence, you turned back to the notepad and put pencil to paper only to see the stump of lead had come out. You tried to put it back in like you used to when you were too lazy to fetch your sharpener but the lead was too short and kept falling back out. You huffed and glared in Natasha’s general direction before gathering everything and taking it to the balcony with you where the Avenger sat smoking.

You leant against the sliding door, facing the side of Natasha’s profile, as you spoke. “Thanks for the notepad and pencil,” you wondered if it sounded as forced to her as it did to your own ears. “And the rubber,” you added dutifully. “The lead just fell out of the pencil though so…” She didn’t respond so you let the statement hang in the air as you tapped the notepad against your leg and thought of something else to say and realised the redhead hadn’t acknowledged the additional clothing you were wearing. You glanced at her and registered a far away look across her face and wondered if she had a bad day.

No. You refused to feel bad for her if she did. She deserved it. Well…wishing a bad day on her felt uncomfortable. You didn’t want her to be upset, you just wanted her to stop making you upset.

You didn’t know what else to say. Small talk was never a strong suit of yours. “Shall I…make some food?” You tried. You weren’t hungry yourself, you didn’t have the biggest appetite at the best of times and the past couple days didn’t make it any better. You also weren't planning on making a meal for the redhead out of the kindness of your heart. You just wanted something to do after a day of nothing but drawing. Natasha didn’t reply and you realised you didn’t really know what dish you could make out of the ingredients the spy had anyway. Cooking wasn’t one of your strong suits either. At least you could draw buildings.

Figuring there wasn’t much more you could do or say, you went back inside and got yourself ready for bed, surprised to see that Natasha fell shortly behind and you were somewhat thankful that she didn’t want a meal prepared. Perhaps she had had dinner with the Avengers. The thought almost made you bitterly laugh.

As soon as Natasha was in bed, she was on you. Mouth everywhere, hands everywhere. She made swift work of your clothes and despite yourself, you helped her. Not because you wanted to be on her good side, not because you wanted to distract her, but because as soon as she made her move you forgot you hated her and only knew you wanted her.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #dark!fic #dark!marvel #dark!natasha x reader #natasha x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff smut

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stargirlfics · 1 year

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B U T T E R F L Y

Joel Miller x Black Latina Reader

Summary: Sometimes the path to healing starts with a reminder of what’s been lost

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, death tw, child death tw, some TLOU spoilers but doesn’t follow canon, post-outbreak!Joel, angst, hurt/comfort, trauma and violence mentions, fluff, slow burn vibe, mutual pining

Word Count: 5.6k

My mind has been stuck on the butterfly imagery connecting Sarah and Joel in the show, and in the game too! I grew up hearing from my abuelita that monarch butterflies are symbols of loved ones who’ve passed and I thought that would fit well here! This fic explores grief and pain but also finding hope through it too 🦋

To be soft-hearted at the world’s violent end, that’s where you’d decided to make a home for your heart with all its fragile beating.

Doomed is what they all said you were, surviving the outbreak this long sooner or later came with a price and they had been right, but still, half out of spite, half out of needing something to hang onto, the tenderness of you remained.

Surviving was a miracle and most could go on just grateful to wake up another day, but you’d seen how void life was lived here in the ruins of a former world, and as doomed as it all appeared, you tried your best to find pockets of light where you could, fighting the urge to shut yourself away.

Because maybe one day those pockets of light would be abundant where they were once scarce, maybe one day, if you kept yourself open to it, there would be a sign of a changing tide to let you know you were finally safe.

How strange signs could be, in plain sight but unseen until your brain could catch up with what your soul was feeling, and rarely did they ever come without complexity.

In your case, that complexity came with a stern scowl that belonged to one Joel Miller.

The first whispers you’d ever heard about Joel were that he was grumpy, stubborn, and not the kind of man to be messed with. He was the muscle behind trades done in shadowed alleys here in the QZ, illegal substances, weapons, extra ration cards, you name it.

He was intimidating to most people, even you; having a reputation for being a man of few words and an even shorter fuse would do that but you knew there to be sorrow there too, etched deep in the lines of his face, reflecting like moonlight in his eyes.

You’d never spoken to him, not in all your time in Boston, always seeming to narrowly avoid crossing paths, but you often saw him from afar. In the town square, catching glimpses of him waiting in line to collect a job’s earnings or in the pit, hauling bodies to the acrid cremation pyres smoldering hot throughout the day.

If you thought about it, that’s where you saw the sorrow most.

That old, faded bandana he wore over his nose to block out the stench of burning gave you the clearest view of his eyes; sad, angry orbs fixated on the task like it was penance for him.

All those hushed whispers told you he wasn’t a good man, that he had hurt people to get what he needed, and that wasn’t a surprise, you’d seen it enough to understand the grim nature of the wasteland you were in, how people often turned against each other if they thought it meant they’d live to see another day.

Maybe that understanding was how it happened that day, the first time you’d meet, something in your soul already well tangled with something in his yet neither of you knew it yet.

You’d been expecting someone else at your door that evening, a friend of yours with a bag of good soil snuck in from the outside in exchange for a radio of yours that was in decent shape.

Instead, you were greeted by Joel Miller, bag in hand, a frown already on his face as he explained the switch up, even pointing to a note on the bag in your friend's handwriting to vouch for him.

His voice had caught you off guard, a low, gruff bass in his careful cadence, Texan accent making the words go down smooth.

“Okay, no problem, she did tell me she wasn’t sure if she would really make use of it. You can step in if you want, I’ll just be a second.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have been so trusting.

That’s how people got robbed, taken advantage of, murdered and you weren’t going to get any sympathy from neighbors or any FEDRA soldiers in the area if something were to happen but despite that, and his reputation, you didn’t feel unsafe.

Quite the opposite.

Joel was certainly the grumpy type and you didn’t doubt he was capable of hurting you if he wanted but as you returned with the radio you found him just where you’d left him, his body filling your doorway in a way that reminded you of a guard dog.

Something had caught his eye in the time it had taken you to walk back, gaze fixed somewhere behind you.

It took you a second to realize what exactly he was staring at, eyes tracking him and following until they landed on the butterfly figurine hanging from the makeshift curtains of your kitchen sink window.

Golden hour light warming the window had bathed the glass winged butterfly in its rays, casting fractals of color across the wall and the worn wooden floors.

You studied his face for a moment then, a familiar kind of sadness reaching his eyes, the darkened circles underneath them a little more noticeable now.

You wondered when the last time he got any proper sleep was.

“I made it…” interrupting his thoughts gently you gestured towards the window when he looked at you in question, “La mariposa...took me ages to fit the glass and wire together right but I think it came out ok.”

He grunted in response, finally handing over the bag of soil when you noticed the slightest tremble in his hands.

Oh…so he’d been caught off guard too.

Something about your butterfly had shaken him up and you were curious, who could blame you for being tempted to cross what you were sure he would say was a line, but you pretended not to notice, trying to offer him some privacy, a second to collect himself.

You’d appreciate it if he did the same for you in his place after all.

The exchange was completed swiftly after, a palpable silence settling between you before he was leaving almost as quickly as he arrived, taking the fading summer sunset with him.

–

Joel barely slept that night, woken by nightmares again, a routine he was familiar with, haunted by the same old ghosts but it was different this time, the barbed wire around his heart digging in just a little extra, memories of her surfacing.

Sarah. His Sarah.

He didn’t realize just how long it had been since he was reminded of her this way, of what it felt like to be her father, shutting himself off to that years ago, unable to think about his life with her before because that pain was nearly unbearable.

There is only after, the after in which she doesn’t exist, where he searches for her in his sleep and wakes knowing he won’t find her.

Because he watched her slip away, had pleaded and begged to the skies to bring her back, had held her in his arms, hands stained red with her blood, and had to accept that she was gone and he was granted no time to say goodbye.

Days turned to weeks, months into years and he had learned to operate on a certain level of numbness, just focused on surviving, never getting too attached, acting cold and angry, just a dead man walking.

Until now, his chest nearly caving in with the truth that he was still breathing even after so long spent closed off.

He wasn’t even sure why he’d considered your friend’s offer to complete the exchange at all, he knew he shouldn’t have, the radio you traded wasn’t in as great a shape as he would have liked, he knew that upfront and still begrudgingly agreed, not expecting to feel so exposed, so upended by a simple encounter.

That butterfly shining in the sunlight of your kitchen made his heart stop the second he saw it, flashes of memory surfacing, almost like his little girl was pulled to the surface of his skin again, like if he stepped inside he could reach out and she’d be there.

A dreadful reality had washed that away after a moment, grief swallowing up the hope just as he knew it would, like it always had, but something was undeniably different this time for Joel. A difference that left an ache in his center.

Because for those few fleeting seconds, he had felt alive again.

–

The second time you met Joel was intentional, another bag of soil in exchange for some instant coffee this time.

It was still early morning when he knocked on your door, quiet, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans and a sleepy kind of softness that you hadn’t seen before around the edges of his eyes which made you wish he didn’t look so inviting then.

It wasn’t so hard to look at him as unapproachable as he made himself seem, he was handsome, the streaks of gray peppered in his hair and along his beard lending to his rugged look.

“About the coffee, it’s not as strong as it could be but it’s the best I’ve got,” you handed over a jar, watching him open the lid and sniff its contents.

“That’ll do just fine.”

Relief arrived at his approval, you gathered it’d been a while since he had any and you were glad your stash wasn’t a disappointment.

You watched as he knelt down to set his backpack on the floor, stowing the jar inside and handing you the bag of fertilizer mix you had inquired about.

It wasn’t long now before he’d be out the door again, these things were best kept short and simple but as you thanked him for the exchange and moved to store the bag with your other garden supplies, you noticed a moment of reluctance.

Joel didn’t plan on lingering around now that you both had what you came for but then he was reminded of what he felt the last time he’d been in your space and his mouth was moving with the thoughts that were swimming in his head before he could bite back the words.

“That’s a good amount of soil you have, got some sorta secret garden FEDRA don’t know about?”

Suddenly you felt very silly for wanting to smile at his curiosity but also recognized the significance of him asking.

“Something like that, yeah. I…actually found a spot of flowers growing through one of the QZ fences and I’ve been tending to it. It's no garden but the flowers are in bloom now, first time I’ve seen real butterflies in years.”

You watched him perk up at the mention of real butterflies, furrowed brows hiding the flicker of emotion mere seconds later but it was too late, you’d seen it already.

Up until now, your little patch of greenery had been a private endeavor.

Something for you to put some love and effort in, and just a quiet, secluded place to be, to clear your head or be alone for a while, away from some of the chaos in the streets, and yet here you were, now, carefully asking him if he’d like to see it too.

You thought just maybe, bringing him there would do him as much good as it had done you.

And it’s there, in that moment when he says yes that you see all that hard exterior start to slip just an inch.

It’s an inch you can work with.

–

Early morning dew still clings to the soft blades of grass sprouting up near the fence line, the section where you’d been taking care of the vegetation noticeably more vibrant with color and growth.

Slowly, you’d been replacing the dirt, had saved as many roots and sprouts as possible, taking care in replanting them, and from there, a shabby little makeshift garden bed had formed.

This would be your third week caring for it and now Joel was trailing behind your steps to see it too.

His body language was tense like he couldn’t quite be sure you weren’t actually taking him to some secluded corner to ambush him, but you get it.

Being wary was smart, but you couldn’t lie that it was satisfying to let him take it in without explaining anything first, the tension in his shoulders easing, sagging when his eyes fell upon the dusky blue flowers and rich green leaves and vines growing up from the ground, searching for the sun’s nourishment.

Joel couldn’t be certain whether it was the day’s first tendrils of summer heat making him feel warm or the fluttering orange and speckled black wings of a butterfly nestled atop a marigold.

He glances at his wrist, at the memento that never leaves his side, a broken watch, and there’s a moment of clarity in the silence where Joel can feel it, all the shattered parts of him spilling out, and there isn’t any way he can catch it all, he’s already too late and he knows it.

Panic works its way into his bloodstream, causing his hands to shake, not used to being so disarmed, so flayed open.

His fingers curl into a fist, trying to steady himself, needing a moment to catch his breath, to process.

And there you were, your gentle voice cutting through the noise in his head and that tidal wave of emotion.

“They’re monarch butterflies, which means they’re special,” you’ve moved a little closer now, watching another one land next to its friend on the flower.

“What makes' em’ so special?” Joel takes a deep breath and you do too.

You thought for a second he might shut down and walk away, there wasn’t anything keeping him here after all, he had the coffee he came for and yet still took you up on your offer. That in itself was difficult not to attach yourself to immediately but there was no denying it felt good to know you’d earned maybe an ounce of his trust.

“In Mexico, my abuela used to say they were a sign of the dead coming to visit the living, loved ones, our ancestors, the monarchs carry their souls to us. I think they’re good luck too.”

The smile working its way onto your lips is fond, sad, one you knew he’d recognize, the silent but shared knowledge of loss was a heavy burden to carry. There was no mistake about it, but being here, amongst your flowers and your butterflies made it easier.

Orange and gold halos shimmered around the plant life softly swaying with the wind, your own features now warmed with the climbing sun, brown skin shining deeper under the light.

Joel was looking at you now, following your words. The meaning of what you were both looking upon hitting him square in the chest when that feeling blooms behind his eyes again, that itch of something alive, something beautiful growing again amongst concrete ruins.

And it's there, standing next to you, watching you water the soil while butterflies float around you that he works out what that feeling must be.

Salvation.

–

After that morning, trading goods with Joel became a regular occurrence.

Soil for another stash of coffee or a packet of seeds for a hunting knife in need of experienced hands, neither of you quite sure how it happened but eventually the trades became more like friendly favors to each other than practical transactions.

Your ‘garden’ also became a frequent place for you both to go, so much so that on any given day you could bet he was there, a quick stop on his way back home, or in the morning before the day started, it became an unspoken shared refuge.

Joel helped you fix up the makeshift garden beds when it became clear your tender care of the plants called for an upgrade and you were grateful for it, dismissive at first, not wanting him to feel obligated.

You could handle yourself around a hammer and a few nails but he insisted and you relented, the two of you knelt under the setting sun, working on the task together.

It didn’t matter that it was closing in on curfew time, or that you didn’t really have anything to compensate him for his time because, the moment itself, the small inklings of trust building between you were actually far better.

That’s when you started to see him nearly every day, sitting against bomb-scarred concrete, always facing those marigolds, the ones the monarch butterflies you’d told him about always flocked to.

At first you kept your distance, knowing better than to pry.

It was clear he’d been through a lot, most his age-if you were guessing correctly-had, old enough to have lived a good portion of their lives before the outbreak, the last witnesses of an old world. You wanted to respect that and as long as he was finding some sort of peace here, you were content.

You didn’t mind his company either, he wasn’t much of a talker, but his presence was comforting and familiar and you felt safe with him near.

Eventually though, keeping him at a distance became impossible, both of you stumbling through the uncertainty of what to say to each other yet not giving up on trying at the same time.

And Joel had resisted too, had tried to keep his words short, always residing somewhere in between neutral and aloof but the more he watched you in your element, amongst the seedling sprouts and vines and moss, the more it made him want to talk.

It was easy to find his voice around you.

You were soft-hearted, he could see that and it wasn’t easy to get used to the way you looked at him, like you cared, like you understood something about his brokenness right away, had let him sit here day after day watching the butterflies because somehow you knew it’s what he needed, but he didn’t mind the learning curve either.

His usual annoyance and reluctance to speak about feelings couldn’t keep up this time surrounded by reminders of Sarah, coaxing the small part of him that hadn’t died with her out of its state of numbness, softening him again.

‘You were never gonna do it for yourself’ rings in his ears.

He’d never been much good at that, doing things for himself, and Sarah was always so clever about calling it out, even now, nudging him awake again after all these years.

It’s why he decides to tell you when you ask one day, sitting next to him on sun-warmed stone.

He merely came by to sit for a little while and clear his head and found you already sat in his usual spot, butterfly watching, your eyes telling your secret, that you had been crying before he arrived, his first instinct carrying him forward, to your side.

He offered you some water, even sliced an apple in half to share with you, pleased with himself when he got a smile out of the gesture but remained as quiet as you were, wanting you to feel like you could just be.

“Who do they remind you of?” your voice was small, unsure of how he’d react to the question, overexplaining in hopes it would make him recoil less, “It’s okay if you can’t talk about it, I understand. It’s just that…what I told you about the monarch butterflies, I really do believe in it you know, the people I’ve lost…they feel so close to the surface, like they’re watching over me and I think you feel the same.”

Joel nods after a moment and you’re exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

It takes him a moment but he finds the words.

“My daughter…her name was Sarah. They were her favorite, actually, since she was bout old enough to talk. I used to call her my little butterfly when she was a baby which, yeah, got real old when she started middle school but I liked to remind her anyways, just to see her roll her eyes at me. Just as long as she knew I loved her, you know, that I never stopped, not since the moment I held her in my hands for the first time.”

It broke your heart to hear.

And it hurt him too, to speak about her and then remember that he had lost her, that twenty years had passed and he couldn’t remember what she smelled like anymore, and he hated the nightmares but without them, he was afraid of forgetting her face, her eyes, the coils of her hair, the sound of her voice calling out to him.

It was only now that he was seeing how deep he’d pushed it all down, bottled up tight out of fear, and then somehow you’d entered his life, Molotov aimed straight at his heart, stunning him into remembering her the way she deserved to be.

“I’m so sorry,” you extend all the comfort you can, knowing there weren’t any words that would ever make it right but you wanted to try anyway.

“Yeah, me too. But you’re right, she feels close, and I know you’ve put it together by now but it’s why I’ve been sittin here every day, I see those butterflies and I see her, I remember her and it feels...good. I didn’t want it to; don’t really trust things that feel good but it does and I wanna thank you for that, for letting me have that.”

He worries he’s said too much, or said the wrong thing, wanting to kick himself because he was never much good at words either but the sight of your lips pulling up into a small smile came as a relief.

“She’s with you, Joel. And there’s no need to thank me, it’s been good for me too, doing all this. I think it helps.”

He nods again, agreeing before asking you the same question, extending an opportunity to open up too; a big step when keeping personal histories to a minimum was the lay of the land around here.

And it wasn’t easy, to talk about the things that hurt, baring your grief to Joel, and trusting him with it but you did and he had held it so gently, understanding it for what it was.

Looking back you think maybe it’s there that things started to change, where your life and his started to merge.

Sometime after that conversation you gifted him one of those glass winged butterflies like the one in your window, showing it to him one evening in the garden, earning you the first real smile you’d ever seen from him.

It was after he told you more about himself, about Sarah, his brother Tommy, recounting happy memories; like the time he and Tommy surprised Sarah with her own soccer ball for her birthday one year, how he’d caved almost immediately the time she begged him to get her a polaroid camera, and you shared too, thinking on good times you’d had with the people in your life.

It meant a lot to Joel that you spent time crafting the ornament, knowing just how deep the symbolism of it went for him.

You were always doing that, looking out for him, planting tiny seed after tiny seed, slowly working your magic on him, ensnaring him deep, making him want to look out for you too.

Under the fading sun again you sat with him, watching the marigolds, the calm, slow fluttering of wings, and it’s in that same spot that you find your hand in his for the first time.

No words needed to be said, this was far better.

A little while later you saw your gift hanging from the window in his living room, right next to the radio you had first traded him for.

The two of you had found yourselves escaping the heat here after some time tending the garden together, pulling weeds, clearing new soil of rocks and rubble, now sharing his couch, a rusty old fan that still somehow worked cooling the sweat prickling the back of your neck.

Curfew hour was nearing and you knew you would have to start making your way back home but Joel warned that he’d heard from a FEDRA officer he did trades with that they were patrolling the streets early the next few nights.

You knew why, it was hard to forget the hail of gunfire last night, a group of Fireflies going after a group of officers on patrol, a fight that neither one had won.

Tensions in the QZ had been high all day since then and Joel suggested that you stay here with him for the night, saying he didn’t want you dealing with anything that might be going on out there.

He was being protective, a disapproving frown on that handsome face of his when you told him you didn’t want to intrude on his space but he was right, things had already started looking a little dangerous on your way back from the garden and you appreciated that he was trying to keep you safe.

So you stayed.

Curled up on Joel’s old, worn couch with a blanket that smelled like him tucked around you, the white noise of the fan still blowing and the knowledge that he wasn’t far, just in the next room over, carried you off to sleep.

–

One night had turned into two and then three and somewhere in the last couple months of summer that were left, you spent most of your days and nights with Joel.

No label had been applied to whatever your situation was with him, you knew better than to ask, this all needed time, and you were okay with that, just content on holding onto this good thing with him.

Because you liked being around, like sharing a space with him and sitting in the garden together, opening up to each other more and more every day.

It was nice watching Joel come out of that hardened shell of his, watching him find it easier to talk about things, noticing him trying to live life more, not as reluctant to connect.

Things were good, not to say that there hadn’t been bad days amongst all the progress made, there were plenty of them in fact.

Days where old patterns became default again, stretches of nights where the nightmares returned, both of you trying to wade through it.

When the aching of old wounds came knocking and the walls came back up again.

You hated to fight with Joel when that happened, and you hated not being on the same page but he was so stubborn it wasn’t always easy to bite back your frustration.

He had told you about his past, about the people he hurt in those early days and it’s something he wrestled with, believing in the goodness you saw inside him when all he could see were the bad things.

It frustrated you sometimes, how he preferred to shut himself off, to you, to Sarah’s memory because he felt like his hands were too dirty, too blood-stained to even try.

“Que, no entendes?! Please, Joel! Stop trying to be something you aren’t. You think you aren’t a good man but bad people don’t get upset about being bad. Do you think you can just turn it off, the part of you that was always a good man, a good father? Well sorry, but you can’t, that’s who you are to your core, I saw it the first moment I met you and every time since then.”

“I’ve killed people,” his tone was mean, and venomous, another attempt at pushing you away. “Goddamnit, it’s not as simple as-”

“I get that! Look I know that you’ve done bad things but you’ve also spent every waking moment punishing yourself for it, do you realize that? All these years you’ve been paying your penance any way you can and I’m trying to tell you it’s okay live well, that you don’t have to torture yourself anymore because we have to try and make something out of all this pain.”

It wasn’t easy to get him to see what you saw but you didn’t back down, even when it would have been easy to, Joel knew it too, guilt washing over him as you looked at him then, tears brimming in your eyes.

“You’ve endured enough.”

It’s those final three words from you that makes him ease up, a reminder you nudged him with often, that he could rest already, could make amends by making a choice to find the light.

He lets you take some space from him, coming to find you before bed because he doesn’t want to fall asleep without fixing things.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair, talkin to you like that. You’re just tryna help my sorry ass and I haven’t thanked you enough. I’m gonna get better at that.”

It’s the first time you ever hug him, noticing the tremble in his hands as he says the words, feeling the sincerity in his voice, unable to stop yourself from all but barreling into his arms.

He’s still for only a moment before his arms wrap around you in return, the two of you bathed in moonlight, that butterfly still hanging in his window, pushing you towards each other again just like it had when you first met.

–

Eventually, the day comes when the monarchs leave, the approaching fall and winter seasons carrying them to warmer places, a solemn change in what had been yours and Joel’s routine.

The absence of the butterflies that had provided so much hope the last few months was felt, but the world was also a lot more open and wide now too.

You no longer slept on Joel’s couch, you slept pressed against him now, and woke with your limbs tangled with his, a quiet partnership forming.

It scares both of you, knowing that you had grown to care for each other so quickly, knowing that was dangerous and reckless but also feeling stronger because you were a team.

You think that’s why you make the decision together, one rainy fall evening when Joel comes home with a message from Tommy.

They had gone through a rough patch recently, being apart from each other for some time and still not seeing eye to eye on Tommy’s choices but slowly, they’d started talking again and there was news that Tommy and the group he was with had gotten a hydroelectric plant that had once belonged to FEDRA up and running.

There was electricity and a place to stay if you and Joel were interested, plus Tommy wanted you to meet Maria, said she did him a whole world of good and this was some of that good in action.

It hadn’t been a hard choice to make even knowing how difficult the journey would be.

This was the chance you’d both been waiting for, and had talked about, a far off dream of running away from all the violence that was inescapable here in Boston, searching for something better out there, and now it was within reach.

So you’d left your garden in the care of a friend you knew would understand its importance, and you bide your time with Joel, making deals, doing jobs, collecting and saving up supplies, and helping him map the way to Jackson.

And then the day came when you left the QZ behind for good, watching the city fade away in the rearview mirror.

Making it to Tommy hadn’t been easy, there had been one too many close calls for comfort but the trust you and Joel had in each other didn’t waver, and here you were, finally on the other side.

Settling in hadn’t been the easiest, especially for Joel, his guard still up but little by little, you both sank into a new way of life.

You quickly learned how to ride a horse and hunt in the woods surrounding the power plant, even making friends with some of the families in the community.

Joel had taken to things a little slower, but even he couldn’t hide for long, helping some of the men in the group with repairs on things that needed fixing, even cautiously attempting to make friends with you.

Small pockets of peace started to open up the longer you stayed and the threat of raiders loomed over that peace at times, keeping everyone on alert for attacks but you all had Joel and Tommy now, always amongst the first to be out there protecting, defending fiercely.

You knew they wouldn’t let anything happen to you here.

As spring arrived again you found a nice spot for a garden, pointing out sprouting flower buds to Joel one day, almost missing the fond smile forming on his lips, both of you knowing what this meant.

You were happy here, and happy being with Joel, the two of you building a new garden together this time, until finally, as the chill spring breeze transitioned into summer heat and sunshine you were sat next to him like you had been what seemed like ages ago, watching the butterflies circle the flowers in bloom in what had become Sarah’s Garden.

Joel made you a promise; to keep going for family, the family you, him, and Tommy were now. And you promised the same, not scared of how much you cared for the man by your side anymore.

It wasn’t perfect, the world was still rotten and the broken parts of you all were still raw, still healing, but this time her light was guiding the way through it and that made it all worth it.

---

A/N: When I saw that butterfly hanging in the window of his place in Boston I just couldn’t resist writing something about how he got it and here we are! This world is so dark and tragic and while this fic doesn’t change those facts, I hope it plants some gentle, hopeful little seeds of healing, because Joel deserves that and so do you as the reader! thank you for reading this, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! 💌

some tags no pressure! @inklore @allaboardthereadingrailroad @yelenas-lova @ozarkthedog @amethystwonders11 @blkmorticia @moreofem @eupheme @obiknights @tarrenterror25 @superhoeva @buckyhoney @plumbits

#amalia writes #joel miller x reader #joel miller x black!reader #joel miller x woc #joel miller x black reader #joel miller x latina reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x black latina reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction

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fallingforfictionalcharacterss · 2 years

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Hiii, I really liked Cookies and I was wondering if you could write something similar. I thought about enemies to lovers where Dracos friends slip potion into his drink and he starts to be all over her and she's really annoyed. But when the effect of the potion fates he doesn't stop behave like this because he is actually in love with her. And she realizes she is too. IDK, this is hard to explain.

Thank you so much for your request. This might have turned out as one of my favourite writings by now. I hope this is the way you wanted it.

The most powerful feeling

Warnings: implied mentions of suicide

“Damn it (Y/l/n), are you in every class I´m taking this year?”

“Of course, Malfoy. I couldn’t stand one without you.”

“Well, I can´t stand a class with you.” “I don’t think this is my problem, is it?” “You were really born to annoy me, weren’t you?”

“No, but I rather took your classes as well to do so, than take those that might help me with my future plans.”

“Is there space for anything but ruin my life?” “Oh yeah, you´re probably right. All my life is dedicated to you.”

You rolled your eyes. Malfoy just wanted to reply, when Professor Slughorn entered the classroom. The elder man greeted you cheerfully, while his students took their seats. You sat down next to Hermione, who was already listening to the Professor attentively.

After a short introduction, Professor Slughorn asked you to get closer to a table in front of him. On the table, he had placed some cauldrons.

“For the beginning, I have brought you some different potions. Who can tell me, which?” Hermione´s hand shot up immediately.

“Very well, Miss…” Professor Slughorn stopped and looked at her questionably.

“Granger, Sir.”, Hermione smiled.

You could see a flash of recognition on his face.

“Ahh, of course, Miss Granger. Mr Potter has already told me about you.”

You could see Hermione´s cheeks heat up in joy before she stepped forward and started to identify the different potions.

“I wonder how you even got in here.”, you heard a familiar voice sneering behind you. “I don’t remember you having any talent for this class.” “And I don’t remember the last time you were able to shut up.”

You sighted. But Malfoy was right. If Professor Snape would still be the teacher, you wouldn’t have been allowed to participate in the class, since he had some higher standards than the new Professor.

You brought your attention back to Hermione.

“This is Amortentia. It´s the most powerful love potion in the world.”

You could hear some gasps, but you were only slightly impressed. What was a love potion even good for? Why would you want to be with a person who you knew wouldn’t want to be with you if you hadn’t drugged them?

“Listen closely, (Y/l/n), this might be the only chance to ever get someone to love you.”, Malfoy continued teasing.

“Do you have a question, Mr. Malfoy?”, Professor Slughorn asked.

You could see Malfoy´s ears turning slightly pink, as the Professor called him out. You couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction.

“I am sorry Professor.”, Malfoy said with an innocent smile. “But I was just wondering why you said this potion is so powerful. Aren´t many more dangerous things in this room?”

Unlike you, Malfoy had seemed to be able to listen to the explanations of the Professor, while humiliating you once more. You sighted. This boy somehow always got his act together. Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson snickered in approval at Malfoy´s words. Professor Slughorn also smiled and nodded.

“My dear boy, I assume you have never truly been in love, have you?”

Malfoy didn’t answer and just shrugged his shoulders, looking at his feet.

“Because if you had been,”, the Professor continued, “You would know that love is the most powerful feeling in the world. It can make you feel as if you are the luckiest person alive, or the most unfortunate one. It can make time stop or make it go faster. It can make you feel alive, but it can also kill you.” Slughorn stared into the void with a dreamy expression on his face.

“If one is able to truly love, it is the greatest gift in the world. You will be the happiest you have ever been. But it´s also the things we love the most that can hurt us the most.”

Then, the Professor snapped back to reality and looked at Malfoy, who stared at him unimpressed.

“One day, you might understand, dear boy.”

Then he continued his lesson.

“Such a shame you´re not capable of such feelings”, you whispered at Malfoy with a fake pity on your face. “Well, maybe except for yourself.”

Malfoy just stared at you with a blank face and didn’t answer.

“See, you can´t even say something against it.”, you smiled sweetly.

Then you turned to Professor Slughorn again and listen to him explaining the effect of Felix Felicis.

When you returned to your seats, you saw Malfoy and his friends, whispering on the other side of the room, shooting you some glances.

“You could think he has something better to do, don’t you?”, you whispered to Hermione, while gathering up the ingredients for the potion you had to brew. But Hermione just rolled her eyes.

“I could also think you would have something better to do, (Y/n).” “What, it´s not my fault, he is so obsessed with me. I´m just defending myself.”

But that wasn’t exactly true. Sure, it had been Malfoy who had started this hostility in the first year, by calling Hermione a mudblood. You had to hex him for this, of course, earning yourself a month of detention. After that incident it hadn’t been about his aversion to muggle-borns or that he was jealous of Harry all the time. You and the blond Slytherin by now had your personal enmity. You hated everything about him. The way he treated not only the people he didn’t like but also his friends, his pride, especially regarding his family, the way his silvery eyes were sparkling whenever he knew he had hurt someone and the way he was for some reason the only one who was able to keep up with your sarcastic remarks, you rarely ever made in front of others, knowing it might scare them off. But not Malfoy. Sometimes you even caught yourself enjoying your bickering, but as soon as you did, you reminded yourself, that the tall Slytherin boy with the arrogant smirk always playing around his full lips was nothing but your enemy. Everyone knew that, even though your friends sometimes made some comments about the unusual amount of time and effort you put into this hostility. Just like they did now.

“You know, sometimes you behave like an old married couple.”, Ron said from the other side of the table, weighing the sloth's brain.

“Sometimes I think I might have to get jealous (Y/n), I always thought Malfoy´s my enemy.”, Harry added with a smirk.

You just rolled your eyes.

“You really have to decide. Are we a couple or enemies?”

“Those things might go hand in hand, you know?”, Hermione now joined the conversation.

“I thought at least you would be on my side Mione.”, you whined. “I´m not interested in Malfoy. Not at all! He´s a spoiled git and there is nothing attractive about him at all.”

You put down the infusion of wormwood a little harder than intended, making the liquid nearly slop.

“Well, you have to admit he´s kinda hot.”, Hermione said and watched with a smug grin how Ron choked on the air, not able to calm down again until Harry patted his back.

You refused to answer. You had to admit that Malfoy wasn’t bad looking with his grey eyes and the small crinkles around his eyes whenever he -what happened rarely- laughed. But that changed nothing at all. To confirm your thoughts, you looked over to the table of the Slytherins, where the friends were still whispering. Little did you know, they had a pretty similar conversation going on.

“By Merlin´s beard, Pansy. I don’t like her. She´s a Gryffindor. She´s a friend of Potter. She is a filthy blood traitor with an average talent for sarcasm. That’s all.”

“Well, she is really pretty too, don’t you think?”

“If you like her that much then go date her yourself, Parkinson.”, Draco growled, before perusing his potion again.

Pansy watched her friend with narrowed eyes, before turning around to Blaise, who watched the scene with an amused grin. He was already used to it and found those conversations rather entertaining. But when Pansy approached him with a mischievous grin on her face, he knew this time something would be different.

“Blaise,”, Pansy said, her voice sounding as sweet as honey as she whispered: “I don’t think we can let him talk to me like this, do you? I think we might have to teach him a lesson. And (Y/l/n) too. It´s so annoying to watch them, not being able to solve their own problems.”

Blaise raised an eyebrow.

“How?”

Pansy´s grin only grew wider.

“I might have an idea.”

It was nearly the end of the lesson -Harry had been the only one who had brewed an acceptable potion- when Pansy Parkinson raised her hand.

“Excuse me Professor, I don’t feel very well.”, she said in a shaky voice.

You watched Professor Slughorn walking up to the girl who had by now sunken down on her chair. When the Professor got to their table, Blaise Zabini backed off immediately, making space for him. Slughorn felt the pulse of Pansy Parkinson. Then he nodded knowingly.

“No worries. You probably just inhaled too much of the vapours.”

With a quick flick of his wand, he conjured a cup and filled it with some water.

“Drink that. And if it won´t get better, feel free to leave the class.” The Slytherin nodded and smiled thankfully.

“Thank you, Professor. I think it´s already getting better.”

Slughorn returned her smile before he turned around and committed himself to the other students again.

Neither you nor anyone else saw the questioning glance, Pansy threw at Blaise. And neither you nor anyone else saw the triumphant grin on Blaise´s face when he waved with the small vial in his hand.

You cursed under your breath as you rushed through the corridors. You had overslept, not that this was unusual, and was late for breakfast now. Just as you rushed around the corner, someone bumped into you.

“By Salazar, I´m awake for not even half an hour and you are already ruining my day!”

You frowned. Out of all the people you had to run into Malfoy. This day started absolutely amazing.

“Could say the same.”, you mumbled.

You wanted to pass him, not in the mood for a dispute that early in the morning, but Malfoy had different plans. He grabbed you by the wrist, making you stop.

“Let go of me Malfoy!”, you barked.

“I will. But first, you are going to apologise.”

You stared at him in disbelieve.

“Me? Apologizing? To you?”

“Well, you are not as stupid as you look (Y/l/n).”, he snickered.

“You bumped into me.”, you said, feeling your face redden.

Malfoy laughed.

“I´m not the one running around like I´m crazy.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then why you bumped into me?”

“I didn’t…” You stopped and took a deep breath. Then you smiled up at the boy in front of you. “You know what? You´re right. I´m actually sorry.”

Malfoy looked at you, confused why you gave in that easy. But as soon as his grip loosened around your wrist you freed yourself and walked away. Before you disappeared behind the next corner, you turned around once more, adding: “Sorry for everyone who has to deal with you!”

When you saw Malfoy at breakfast, he shot you a deadly glance, probably still mad you had had the last word. You saw him sitting down with his friends. Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini offered their friend a cup of pumpkin juice with a friendly smile. After he had emptied it, they burst into laughter, glancing over at you. As your gaze met theirs, you quickly looked away again, wondering why you had even looked there in the first place. Besides, you were late for class already. Luckily one, you didn’t share with the Slytherins.

When you got up and left the Great Hall, you resisted looking back to the table with Malfoy and his friends. But if you had done it, you might had seen the confused look in Malfoy´s eyes, when he watched you leave and Parkinson and Zabini high-fifing in a not-so-subtle way.

After your class, you walked into the courtyard, together with Hermione. Just as you talked about your DADA class with Snape, you ran into someone the second time this day. And for the second time, it was Malfoy.

“Godric, are you following me around?”, you frowned as you looked at the blond boy.

But instead of a counter-attack, he just stared at you, mesmerized. You returned his gaze, confused.

“Are you… okay?”, you asked carefully, when he didn’t react.

“You are so beautiful. You know that (Y/n)?”

You froze.

“What?”

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life.”

You glanced at Hermione, who looked just as confused as you.

“Is that some kind of sick joke of yours?”, you asked, eying the boy in front of you distrustfully. But Malfoy just shook his head.

“That is nothing to joke about.”

“Aha?”

“I really mean it. You are so pretty. And I don’t mean your outer appearance. Even though it´s beautiful as well. I mean whenever I look into your eyes…” He looked at you dreamingly, like he would actually get lost in the way you looked at him.

“What´s wrong with my eyes Malfoy?”, you asked impatiently.

“Nothing, nothing is wrong with your eyes (Y/n). In fact, there is nothing wrong with you at all. You are just flawless.”

When he continued staring at you, a new thought crossed your mind.

“Wait, did you hurt your head?”

Malfoy looked at you irritated.

“What´s with my head?” But then a haze laid upon his gaze once more. “You are always so attentive. Do you worry about me?” His face lit up at that thought. “Is it because you like me? Because I like you (Y/n), I really do. And by that, I mean…”

“I mean did something happen to you? Did you trip? Maybe fell and hit your head?”

Draco shook his head.

“I didn’t fall. Well, I didn’t fall except for you. By the way, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

That was it. Hermione burst into laughter, while you just rolled your eyes.

“Okay, Malfoy, whatever is going on, get yourself together again. Can´t take you seriously like this.”

You turned around, together with Hermione, who by now whipped some tears from her cheeks, still giggling. But you didn’t get far.

“(Y/n), wait!”

You kept going.

“(Y/n), please!”

“What is it Malfoy?” “Why are you leaving already?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“I thought we could spend some time together. You know,”, he glared at Hermione, “just the two of us.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“If it had ever been just the two of us one had always tried to murder the other one.” Draco´s eyes widened.

“I could never do this to you (Y/n). I love you.”

You stared at him in disbelieve.

“Okay, now you are actually kidding me.”

Draco shook his head eagerly.

“I don’t. I mean it. I love you (Y/n).”

You could feel a strange aching in the area of your stomach. If this boy was playing games with you -which he obviously did- this wasn’t funny anymore. To play with the feelings of someone else in this way was just disgusting.

When you didn’t answer, Draco looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Please (Y/n), what can I do to make you believe me?”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“Just leave me alone for the rest of the day.”

You couldn’t deal with his behaviour right now. If he teased you, you knew exactly what to do, but when he behaved like this, complementing you and declaring his love, you had no idea what you were supposed to do.

“But I can´t. We are made for each other. Every second without you is one wasted!”

The sound of his voice nearly made your heart break. But that was the exact reason why you needed to leave. You couldn’t deal with whatever this was.

“C´mon Hermione, let´s just leave.”

Your friend obeyed and you left the poor boy standing there on his own, utterly confused about what had just happened. Did he do something wrong?

That´s what he also asked his friends who had watched the whole scene.

“I don’t know man. Girls, I guess.”, Blaise said, as he patted Draco´s back.

“Maybe you should get her some flowers. Every girl loves flowers.”, Pansy suggested, biting her lip to hold back laughter.

Draco nodded eagerly. Flowers. That was a great idea. Then you would finally understand that the two of you were made for each other.

“(Y/n), there is someone outside of the common room for you.”, a fourth-year Gryffindor snickered, while her friend next to her nearly burst into laughter.

You raised your eyebrows. All your friends were here and even if they weren’t, they would have just come in. And you didn’t remember planning to meet one of the students from the other houses today.

“Who is it?”

“Why don´t you go and take a look yourself?”, the girl giggled, before she disappeared with her friends in their dorm.

Your friends looked at you questionably.

“Any ideas who this is?”, Harry asked who was sitting in the wing chair towards you.

You shrugged your shoulders.

“I guess there´s only one way to find out.”

You got up from your chair and went to the entrance.

When the portrait opened, you saw red.

Literally.

In front of you stood a huge bouquet of red roses. The strange thing was, that the bouquet seemed to have some legs, one of them bouncing nervously.

“What in the name of…”, you mumbled.

Then you saw a light blond shock of hair appearing behind the flowers, as well as some silvery eyes, glancing at you full of expectation.

“No!” You shook your head. “No, no, no. No!”

“(Y/n), what is it? Who…” Hermione´s voice broke at the view of the boy in front of you.

Quickly you backed up again and wanted to slam the door behind you, but Malfoy was faster. Quickly, he got a foot in the door.

“(Y/n), please, just listen to me.”, he pleaded.

“I don’t know what you could tell me that I would be interested in, Malfoy.”, you said in a cold voice.

“But I bought you flowers.”

“Probably poisoned.”

“No, they aren’t. I swear by the name of my mother.”

Well, that meant something. But you still had no intention, to believe him. You wanted to leave, but Ron stopped you. Harry and he had stood a meter behind you, obviously enjoying the scene.

“Let the man say what he got to say.”, Ron grinned.

You sighted and turned around to Malfoy again, arms crossed.

“You got ten seconds.”

“I love you (Y/n).”, bubbled out of the boy immediately. “I truly do. I adore you with every fibre of my body. And I am truly sorry for everything I have ever done to hurt you. And I want to make it up to you. Please just give me a chance. I swear I will…” “Time´s up Malfoy.”, you interrupted him.

The boy stopped and looked at you hopefully. You stared at him with a blank face, hoping nothing in your eyes would give away the confusion that blustered inside of you when you heard his voice sounding so vulnerable.

“So what do you say? Will you give me a chance?” “I don’t know what game you play Malfoy.” The tone of your voice was calm, even though you could sense the shakiness threatening to burst out with every word you spoke. “But to play with the emotions of other people like this is just disgusting. I don’t know what you´re up to and I don’t want to know. But let me make one thing clear. I don’t love you. I never did and I never will. You make me sick. That´s the only feeling you can cause in me. And now for the love of Godric just leave, before I´ll hex you so bad that you´ll never leave the hospital wing again. And take your silly flowers with you.”

With every word you spoke your heart tightened more when you saw the look in his eyes. Every fibre of your body screamed at you that he was genuine and that you might had just broken him. But your trust in him was irreparably damaged. And that´s why you turned around and left Malfoy alone, with his flowers in his hand and tears in his eyes, wondering how he deserved the pain his love had caused.

Pansy and Blaise had been standing behind the next corner, listening to every word you had said. Even though everything had started out as a joke, now they felt sorry for their friend. When Draco walked past them, Pansy grabbed him by his arm, causing him to stop.

“Draco, what are you up to?”, she asked him, trying to make her voice sound friendly and clueless.

When Draco turned around, she was surprised to see tears swimming in his eyes. They had been friends for such a long time, still, she couldn’t remember one time he cried in front of her.

“This doesn’t make any sense anymore Pansy.”, he said.

His voice sounded so hopeless, sending shivers down the spines of his friends.

“What are you talking about?” “She doesn’t love me. She told me. And she never will.”

“But you won´t give up that easy, will you?”

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“Doesn’t matter anymore. If she doesn’t want me, I don’t want myself anymore either. She told me to leave and so I will. I will never bother her again. Just tell her I loved her. I truly did.”

Draco continued his way.

Pansy and Blaise looked at each other, now truly concerned about their friend.

“Draco, where are you going?”, Blaise yelled.

“To the astronomy tower.”

“And what do you want there?”

“If I can´t spend the rest of my life with her it´s useless anyway. Then I don’t want to live anymore at all.”

He wanted to leave, but Blaise, was quick to walk up to his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Mate, you´re definitely exaggerating.”, he said, trying to give his voice a chatty tone, not showing off how much the words of his best friend frightened him.

But Draco just shook his head.

“I want a life with her or not at all.”, he said, trying to free himself of the tight grip of his friend.

“Maybe we could try to talk to her once more.”

“I tried. But she told me to leave. I´m nothing but a burden for her. And I don’t want to bother her anymore. Now let me go before I hex you.”

But Blaise refused to do so and Draco grabbed his wand.

“We gave you a love potion Draco.”, Pansy suddenly blurted out.

Draco froze. Then, slowly, he turned around, looking at her in disbelief.

“You did what?”

“We sneaked some of the Amortentia of Slughorn´s first lesson into your drink this morning. It was meant to be fun. We didn’t think it would be that… that bad.”

Draco shook his head.

“But I love her.”

“No you don’t. It´s just the potion making you think that.”

Draco thought about her words for a few moments. Then he straightened up again. His gaze was stubborn.

“And if you did, I don’t care. It only made me realize how I am really feeling for her. Nothing in this world could fake the feelings I have. I know I am truly in love with (Y/n). I belong to her. We are made for each other. But sadly,”, his voice lowered again, “she doesn’t think the same.”

“If you are so convinced by that, you won´t mind getting the antidote, will you?”, Pansy asked. “After that, you can do… whatever you think is right then.”

Draco furrowed his eyebrows. But then he shrugged his shoulders.

“Doesn’t matter now anyway, does it?”

Pansy nodded.

“That’s what I thought. Now, you will go to Professor Slughorn together with Blaise and I will follow soon. Okay.”

Draco gave his friend a short nod. Blaise patted his back.

“C´mon mate. You´ll feel better soon.”

And then their ways parted, Blaise and Draco walking to Professor Slughorn´s office, Pansy to the Gryffindor common room.

In the meantime, you let yourself fall back into your wing chair, burring your face in your hands. You weren’t exactly mad at Malfoy, more at yourself, for letting you feel so confused by his actions. And the fact that Harry and Ron couldn’t stop laughing about it, didn’t make it better.

“His face was just hilarious.”, Harry snickered.

“Bloody hell, I wish I had a camera.”, Ron laughed.

“Can you shut it for a moment?”, you hissed, not having the nerve for their jokes right now.

Ron raised his hands in defence.

“It´s just Malfoy (Y/n). Probably he is laughing his ass off right now. Don’t give him the satisfaction of making you feel like this.”

“Feel like what?”

“Guilty.”

You brushed it off. But Ron was right. You could still remember the hurt you had seen in Malfoy´s eyes when you had told him you didn’t love him. Your head was screaming at you that he was fooling you once more. But your heart told you otherwise.

“What do you think, Mione?”, you asked your best and smartest friend.

Hermione hadn’t said anything yet, just staring at you, lost in her thoughts.

“That was unusual.”, she said after long hesitation.

“Don’t you say.”

“No, I mean, I don’t think he was trying to make fun of you. I think he was honest.”

“You don’t actually think Malfoy´s in love with (Y/n)?”, Harry asked, furrowing his brows.

Hermione shook her head.

“Probably not. At least that´s not what caused this behaviour. But maybe he thinks he is.”

You stared at Hermione when suddenly Professor Slughorn's words echoed in your head again. “Powerful infatuations can be induced by the skilful potioneer.” So what if someone…

“You mean, someone smuggled love potion into his foot?”, you asked in disbelieve, feeling your heart drop at this thought.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

“Love potion, a powerful curse. Something like this.” She turned to Ron. “Your brothers are selling some love potions, don’t they?”

Ron shrugged his shoulders, now looking not so happy anymore.

“I think so. But mostly just create a small rapture. And it vanishes after a few hours.”

You just prayed this was also the case here. If Hermione was actually right and someone had actually poisoned Malfoy. But let alone the thought he actually had a thing for you, even if it was due to a potion and even if it was Malfoy, and you had treated him like this, made your stomach ache. No one deserved such a rude put-down. Not even him.

“I should probably go and find out.”, you sighted.

Hermione nodded in agreement.

“Do you want me to join you?”

But you shook your head.

“I think I´ll be fine. And if he wasn’t poisoned or hexed,”, you added with a fierce expression on your face, “he should better start running now before I´ll get him.”

But just as you got up, one of the other Gryffindors approached you.

“(Y/n), there´s someone waiting for you outside the common room.”

You nodded thankfully. You didn’t know whether you hoped it was Malfoy or not.

But it wasn’t Malfoy. It was Pansy Parkinson. And the look on her face made you suspect nothing good.

“What is it?”, you asked straight away, not in the mood for Smalltalk.

You could see her shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other before she said: I might messed up something.”

And on your way to Slughorn´s office, she told you everything. How she had been so tired of your constant bickering and how she thought it might be fun to mess the two of you up a little bit. How she had faked her non-well-being in class to give Blaise the chance to steal some of the Amortentia. And how they sneaked it into Malfoy´s drink this morning, not thinking it would get out of control to a point where he didn’t want to live anymore without you.

You were obviously angry at Pansy and Blaise for doing something that stupid, but also mad at yourself for not noticing the situation. But mostly you were concerned about Malfoy, hoping he got to Slughorn unharmed and hoping the Professor would be able to help him.

When you reached the office, Slughorn was already waiting for you.

“Very well, Miss (Y/l/n) and Miss Parkinson.”, Slughorn greeted you. “Mr Malfoy and Mr Zabini are already waiting for you.”

In a lower voice, he added: “Please be gentle with Mr Malfoy, Miss (Y/l/n). He is currently very unstable.”

You just nodded and Professor Slughorn let you enter the room.

Malfoy was sitting on a chair in a corner, slumped down. Blaise Zabini was standing next to him, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

When Malfoy raised his head and saw you, his face lit up for a second, before he sank back down again.

“I´m sorry (Y/n). I didn’t know you would be here. I didn’t mean to bother you again. I´ll just leave.”

He wanted to get up, but you quickly stepped in.

“It´s alright Mal… Draco.”, you said, forcing yourself to smile. “You don’t have to leave.” But this didn’t seem to comfort him.

“You don’t have to be so nice to me. I know you are a gentle person, but you don’t have to lie to me. I don’t deserve your compassion.”

But he had it. You felt terribly sorry for the boy in front of you, looking so broken because of you. No. This wasn’t because of you. This was because of Parkinson and Zabini.

“I didn’t lie Draco. I mean it. I want you to stay. Pansy had told me what happened. I´m not mad at you. I want to help you.”

Slowly, Malfoy looked up to you. You could see a small spark of hope glimmering in his eyes again.

“But you hate me.” “I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you very much. I mean I didn’t.”, you were quick to say when his face fell once more. “I didn’t like the things you did to me and my friends. But I think we might deserve a second chance, don’t we?”

Draco nodded eagerly.

“Anything you want (Y/n). I promise I´ll try my best to make it better this time.”

Even though you knew it was just the potion speaking and not him, you couldn’t help the warmth that flushed over you at his words.

“I think it might be a good first step to let Professor Slughorn help you with this… situation, don’t you think?”

Draco was quick to agree. You smiled smugly, but when you turned around to the Professor and saw his face, you immediately knew something was wrong.

“I´m afraid it won´t be that simple.”, he said. “Normally the antidote of a love potion is a hate potion. But due to the fact that all those Weasley love potions had been smuggled into the school, I´m out of those.”

You sighted.

“And how long will it take until you brew some new?”

“This takes some time. I have already started to brew some a few days ago, but it won´t be finished until next week.”

You looked at him in disbelief.

“Next week?”, you echoed, leaning to the wall next to you.

“Oh but no need to worry. The effect of the potion won't last that long. It will start to vanish very soon. Until the antidote is ready, Mr Malfoy will be himself again without any help. Right now, his obsession with you is very strong and controls everything he is doing, but it will start to fade within a few hours. Then he will still think he is in love with you but will be able to control his behaviour again.”

You sighted. Only a few more hours. You could do this. Just separate yourself from him and wait.

“He shouldn’t be left alone until, well at least tomorrow. And since it is the fault of the two of you he is like this”, he said, now addressing Parkinson and Zabini, “I assume you will take care of him in this time. I will think about what I will do with you after this. Stealing such a dangerous potion after I just warned you. I am very disappointed in you!”

The two students looked quite rueful, mumbling an excuse.

“Now off you go. And take care of your friend. If something feels strange, just get back to me.”

Blaise nudged Draco, so he would get up since he didn’t listen to the words of the Professor, busy with admiring you standing here, in the same room, looking so effortlessly beautiful and forgiving him for everything he had done in the last few hours. Oh boy, he loved you even more for this.

Before you left, you addressed Professor Slughorn once more.

“Professor, how long will it take maximally until he is normal again?”, you asked.

Professor Slughorn looked at you pitiful.

“It depends on the attraction of the target of desire and the relationship between the two of you. I think he will be mostly fine again tomorrow. The latest the day after. If any feelings are left then, you can tell me after our lesson. Then I will check him once more.”

You nodded and smiled thankfully.

“Thank you, Professor.”

Draco and his friends were already waiting for you outside. Everyone looked at you, quite overstrained with the situation. You cleared your throat.

“Well, I think I´ll leave now. If something is wrong, you know where to find me.”

But just as you were about to turn around, Draco spoke up again.

“(Y/n), wait.”

You took a deep breath and stopped.

“What is it Draco?”

“You said you wanted to give me a second chance, didn’t you?”

You cursed yourself for saying that earlier.

“I think so?”

“Well, maybe we could spend some time together then. To get to know each other, you know?”

Draco threw you a shy smile, making your heart beating faster.

“I´m not sure if this is a good idea…”

“But I do. I know I actually love you (Y/n). I don’t care what the others say. It´s not that stupid potion. I just know it. Please give me a chance. I´m begging you.”

You sighted. But maybe it was better to stay with him for some time. Just as long as he had calmed down again and wouldn’t do something stupid. Well, as long as you wouldn’t say something stupid.

“I still have some homework to do. We can meet in the library in half an hour if you want to.”

Draco nodded eagerly.

“I would love to. This is going to be great!”

You highly doubted this but smiled anyway. After you said goodbye to the three friends, you went back to the common room, to grab your books.

Half an hour later, you were at the library. You had quickly told your friends what had happened, earning some laughter from Harry and Ron, and some disapproval from Hermione about Pansy´s and Blaise´s behaviour. You had made them promise that they wouldn’t follow you, since you suspected this “date” would be awkward enough without your best friends laughing behind your back. Hermione had promised you, she would take care of the boys while you were gone.

Now you saw Draco already waiting for you, some books in his hand, waving at you in excitement.

“Hey (Y/n)!”, he yelled, making some students turn around, confused by his friendly tone and the bright smile on his face since everyone knew how much you hated each other.

But you just ignored them and returned his smile.

“Hey Draco. Ready?”

“For you? Any time?”

He smiled stupidly, making you laugh.

“Let´s go then.”

Studying wasn’t that easy when you had someone watching you the entire time. Because that´s what Draco did. Instead of doing his homework, he had placed his arms on a book on the table and laid his head upon them, looking at you in admiration. The only thing he had been helpful with was your potion essay since Draco was actually way better in this class than you. But then he fell back into his state of staring at you. At some point you gave up, trying to learn anything, while you felt his grey eyes lingering on you and started a conversation with him. When Draco started to relax it was -apart from many cheesy compliments- actually quite fun to talk to him.

And when the library closed and it was time for dinner, you found yourself being a little bit sad that the time with him was over already. But you thrusted this thought aside. Tomorrow, Draco would hate you again and everything would be back to normal. It was better if you wouldn’t start to enjoy the time with him at all than missing it in the future.

When you said goodbye, Draco smiled at you sweetly.

“You aren’t that bad you know? For a Gryffindor I mean.”

You couldn’t help but laugh genuinely. This was the first mean comment he had made since the whole thing started. And Godric, you had missed it.

“I like you way better like that, you know that Malfoy?”, you smiled.

His cheeks flushed.

“If I would have known that I wouldn’t have bought you flowers.”, he mumbled.

He raised his hand to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, before leaning in for a kiss, but you quickly took a step back, leaving him embarrassed.

“Love potion, you remember?”, you said, trying to keep your face from heating up.

Draco nodded. Then a cocky grin appeared on his face.

“Wait, does that mean you would have kissed me if it wasn’t for the potion?”

Now your face definitely reddened.

“Keep on dreaming Malfoy.”, you grumbled.

“Oh I will (Y/l/n)”, he laughed.

“Well, see you tomorrow I guess.”

“Yeah, see you.”, he smiled. “And (Y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

“I´ll still love you then, no matter if the potion will still be working or not.”

You threw him a small smile.

“We´ll see about that.”

“What do you think? Does he still think he´s in love with you?”, Ron asked for the hundredth time this morning, making the knot in your stomach only tighten.

“I don’t know Ronald.”, you hissed.

You had slept badly that night, Draco´s last words still echoing inside your head. You didn’t even know why you were thinking so much about it. By now, the effect of the potion had most likely disappeared and you would go back to normal. Or at least you would try to.

“But you will find out soon.”, Hermione said, when she saw Draco standing in front of the Great Hall, looking around as if he was looking for something. Or someone.

“I think I´ll…”

You made an ungainly gesture into his direction. Your friends grinned.

“Have fun with your boyfriend.”, Harry grinned.

You just rolled your eyes, ignoring his comment, before you left your friends and headed towards Draco.

When he saw you walking to him, Draco´s face lit up. You could see it from a few meters away, even though he tried to hide it.

“Hey.”, you said, smiling carefully, slightly scared of his reaction.

“Hey.”, he smiled back, his cheeks flushing.

“So… how are you?”, you asked.

“You mean if I am still in love with you?”

You nodded.

“I´m afraid I am. Seems like this stupid potion is still working.”, he mumbled.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“So you think it´s the potion now as well?”

Draco just shrugged his shoulders.

“I mean it has to be, doesn’t it? We never got along and the fact that I suddenly feel like this for you…”

He didn’t dare to look into your eyes and looked at his shoes instead. You didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed at his reaction. A part of you was glad he had finally realized his feelings for you weren’t real, but there was a small voice in the back of your head telling you that you wouldn’t have minded if all of this had happened for another reason. But you brushed it off.

“Well, at least you sound more like yourself again.”, you tried to cheer him up.

Draco scoffed.

“Not like a love drunk idiot anymore?”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Something like this.”

Draco looked at you with an unknown intensity in his eyes.

“Your laugh is still beautiful, you know that? I´m wondering how I could ever not see this.”

You couldn’t help but bush.

“Seems like the effect hasn’t totally vanished yet.”

“Maybe I don’t want it to.”

“Why so you could follow me around like a puppy, not capable of controlling your emotions?”

“No, so I can be around you without you telling me how much you hate me.”

You swallowed hard.

“I don’t hate you Draco. I never did. We just never got along that well.”

“Well, I wish we would have. Then it may not have taken a potion to make me realize how I feel for you.”

“Maybe we should talk about it when you´re not under the influence of said potion anymore.”

“Why? Because you´re scared that I might do something stupid if you tell me now how you really feel? That you don’t like me the way I like you?”

And for the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to say to Draco Malfoy.

For the rest of the day, it felt like Draco had some strong mood swings, his real personality fought against the effect of the potion. At one moment he made some cocky remarks, making you think he was normal again, but in the next moment, he looked as if he wanted to kiss you right away, assuring you, that his feelings for you would never change.

But five minutes later, they did.

“Honestly, this is worse than any roller coaster.”, you sighted, when you finally gathered around the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room with your friends in the evening.

“I think it´s kinda adorable.”, Ginny said, with a small grin on her lips. “I think you two would actually make a great couple. Maybe we should mix both of some potion into your cereals every morning.”

Harry laughed at her comment.

“I think maybe we don´t even have to.”, Hermione responded, smiling as well.

You raised an eyebrow.

“What are you trying to say, Mione?”

“I´m just saying that the effect of the potion has by now nearly vanished, but Malfoy is still all over you. And you didn’t consume any potion at all and you´re still nice to him.”

“I can´t risk him doing something stupid just because I have been mean to him, can I?”, you scoffed.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

“By now I don’t think he would anymore. At least not because of the potion. When you talked to him after dinner, you two looked perfectly normal.”

Even though you hated to admit it, Hermione was right. If you wouldn’t know how Draco was before he had consumed the potion, you would by now just think he was truly into you. He was still nervous around you, making you some compliments, but just as many sharp comments. You felt comfortable around this version of Draco Malfoy. The one who was nice to you, but still able to keep up with your sense of humour. You wouldn’t have been able to stand him as this foolish hopeless romantic boy he had been yesterday, but the version of him that smiled proudly when he realised his sarcastic comment had made you laugh, made your heart somehow beat faster.

“Don’t tell me you started liking him (Y/n).”, Harry said teasingly.

But soon he realized, that his comment might have not been that wrong.

“I don’t like him. Not at all. It´s just… It´s all so confusing.”, you tried to explain. “But Professor Slughorn had told me that the effect will be gone completely by tomorrow.”

“And if it doesn’t?”, Hermione asked.

“Then he told me to reach out for him once more.” “No, you got me wrong (Y/n). What if this isn’t about the potion anymore?”

“Don’t be foolish Mione. Of course, this is about the potion!”, you snapped.

But the thought of Draco actually liking you in the long run as well, made your heartbeat fasten.

The next time you saw Draco was shortly before potion class started. He was already sitting at his place, fiddling at some of his belongings.

You took a deep breath, trying to prevent your hands from shaking, before walking up to him.

“Draco?”

The boy in front of you froze. Slowly, he looked up at you.

“How is it?”, you asked.

But Draco just looked into your eyes, completely mesmerized.

“Draco?”

“Mhh?”

“How do you feel?”

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

“Don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”, you asked confused.

“Damn it, I´m not sure (Y/n)!”, he snapped back, clearly tensed.

But then he sighted and leant back in his chair.

“I… When I woke up this morning I thought it would be better but when I just saw you… It´s probably not normal that I still think you´re the most perfect human being, is it?”

You could feel a single butterfly in your stomach area, carefully spreading his wings, flapping one or two times.

“Probably not.”, you mumbled. “We should ask Professor Slughorn about it after the lesson.” “We better do. I don’t want those stupid feelings affecting me any longer.”, he grumbled.

After the lesson, you waited until most of the students had already left the classroom. Then you went to Professor Slughorn, Draco following you, secretly admiring your light walk.

“Professor?”

“Ahh, Miss (Y/l/n). Mr Malfoy, how are we feeling today?”

Draco just shrugged his shoulders, refusing to answer.

“I´m afraid the repercussion of the potion is still visible.”, you explained to the Professor.

Slughorn nodded.

“Well, well, dear boy. Tell me what you´re feeling. What is different than before?”

Draco hesitated for a moment, before he answered.

“I… I´m not sure. It´s not that bad anymore, but I still have… feelings.” He pronounced the word like a sickness. “(Y/n) and I were never exactly close but now… I can´t stop thinking about her. I mean I know it´s just because of the potion, but I feel this strong urge to be with her all the time.”

Draco´s voice was low as if he was embarrassed by what he had just said. You could feel the little butterfly in your stomach now fluttering around, exploring more and more of the room inside your torso.

“Do you still think you love her?”, Professor Slughorn asked.

Draco slowly nodded.

“Very well, let´s see.”

Professor Slughorn raised his wand, mumbling some incomprehensible words, but nothing happened.

After one or two minutes, he stopped, nodding knowingly, while a small smile spread across his face.

“My dear boy, I´m afraid I won´t be able to help you with that.”

“What? Why? You are the potions master. You are a teacher. You are supposed to help me.” Draco´s voice sounded harsh, yet also desperate.

“This has nothing to do with the potion anymore.”, Professor Slughorn explained. “Its effect vanished hours ago. There are no unusual traces of magic to find on you.”

“That is impossible. I can still feel it. Do it again!”, Draco demanded.

You could hear the panic in his voice. You, on the other hand, were just standing still, your thoughts were racing. A second butterfly joined the first one. Slughorn put his wand back into his pocket and smiled at Draco patiently.

“There is nothing to do anymore Mr Malfoy. If you say you love our lovely Miss (Y/l/n) here, then I have to tell you those feelings are coming from nothing else but yourself. You simply fell in love.”

The Professor chuckled as he saw the shock clearly written on your faces.

“I think my job here is done. I might as well leave you alone.”

“Thank you, Professor.”, you mumbled, when Slughorn left the room, unable to tear your gaze apart from the boy in front of you, whose eyes were still fixed on the point the potion master had been standing.

For a few minutes, neither of you said a word. Then, Draco cleared his throat.

“That has to mean nothing. Probably only some aftermath. Just like you said.”

You nodded.

“Just like I said.”

Slowly, Draco turned around and locked your gaze with his. You could see the insecurity shimmering in his eyes.

“I still hate you, just like I did before. I was just tricked into loving you.”

“You hate me just as much as I hate you.”, you agreed.

Draco stepped closer until the tips of his feet nearly touched yours and you could feel his hot breath on your face.

“I´m just confused. Because you had been so nice to me lately.”

“So am I.”

You looked into each other’s eyes, completely hypnotized. Draco raised his hand and gently brushed over your lips with his thumb.

“There is no way I actually want to kiss you.”

“There is no way I would let you.”, you whispered under your breath.

His lips brushed against yours.

“We will never be anything but enemies.”

“Obviously.”

And then he pressed his soft lips on yours, cupping your cheeks with his big hands, while you returned the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. An entire army of butterflies was now set free in your body, flapping in excitement, making your whole body tingle.

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, embracing each other, but when you finally pulled away again, your lips were swollen and your breath heavy.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”, Draco mumbled against your lips.

“Since your friends sneaked some love potion into your drink?”, you suggested, making Draco chuckle.

“Maybe. But maybe even longer.”

You hummed in agreement, brushing with your fingers through his soft hair.

“I think I might actually love you.”, Draco whispered, still caressing your face with his hands.

“What about nothing but enemies?”, you teased.

“Oh, we still are (Y/l/n). But that doesn’t mean I can´t be madly in love with you, can it?”

You furrowed your brows, acting as if you had to think about it for a second.

“I don’t know Malfoy, can it?”

“I could also send you a bouquet of roses once more if you need proof…”

“Don’t you dare.”, you laughed. “You´ll need another way to convince me, I guess.”

As a response, Draco pulled you close once more, his kiss this time even softer than the last one.

“Convinced.”, you smiled, when you pulled away again.

“Maybe Slughorn was right.”, Draco said. “Maybe love is the most powerful feeling in the world.”

“Didn’t take you for a softie.”

“I´m not.”, Draco said, sounding slightly offended.

You laughed.

“Even if you were; I love you just the way you are.”

Draco raised an eyebrow.

“You love me?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Don’t you say.”

“Oh just shut it.”

“Well, make me Malfoy.”

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @writingwitch007

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lets-try-some-writing · 3 days

Note

Imagine if Titan!Moon has no idea what Speakers are like he's so old maybe older than concept of city speakers? And the way he and Earth communicate is maybe similar to how titans and speakers usually communicate.. So imagine him getting spooked when rando cybertronian randomly uses the way he and Earth use to talk.. Funny thought

Windblade: Greetings-

Moon: what the frag

No no this is a good thought. I agree with your assessment here. He fled Cybertron after the Predacons were destroyed. Prior to that I doubt he had much interaction with anyone aside from his few citizens before they were lost. Earth was an exception to the general communication issues that plague Titans and those who associate with them.

He would have long assumed that the ability to talk to Titans died with the Predacons since the few Cybertronians that came near straight up ignored him. Cue him being SHOOK when Windblade rolls up and very respectfully calls out to him. The poor thing is going to be terrified for a grand total of two minutes. Not talking to anyone but Earth and occasionally Unicron will have likely left him very poetic and formal.

I can already see it. He would likely cling to Windblade immediately since she would be the only one, to his knowledge, capable of hearing him. To him, Windblade is now Citizen #1. Its been far too long since he's had any of Primus's children to watch over. Having someone to hear him and bring new citizens? Well those long dormant Titan desires are going to come back strong.

Moon: Hail to you, child of Primus born of the stars. You call for me amidst the void. How have you pulled apart the veil to breech the whispers of my mind?

Windblade: Great Titan, I am a Speaker. I can hear all your kind and will speak on your behalf.

Moon: Blessed be to you child of Primus. Long have I lacked the companionship of young sparks under my watchful gaze.

Windblade: I can imagine it has been difficult for you without any citizens. I am surprised you have remained this sane.

Moon: My dear one whom l watch over had safeguarded my spark. She offers me her attention and I in turn grant her my devotion.

Windblade: Wait, she whom you watch over?

Moon: My darling Earth. She is so vibrant, like a supernova and a constellation of joy all combined into one. She is my muse and mistress. To her, I give myself freely.

Windblade, to everyone else: Guys, we may have more than just a Titan on our servos.

Earth is just happy her lovely companion is finally getting the chance to potentially rear children as well. She's had a lovely time with hers after all.

#transformers #maccadam #earth #unicron #moon #unicron and earth au #windblade #cybertronian worldbuilding

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hellfireclubmember · 8 months

Text

Secret Nerd PT 2

Someone requested this and I can't find the ask so I am sorry. I'm also sorry for literally taking forever to get to it.

part 1

Summary: Eddie, who may or may not be in love with you, finds out you like LOTR.

Warning(s): lots of steve fluff but eddie angst, unrequited love, not proof read

pairing(s): boyfriend!steve harrington x fem!reader, platonic!in love!eddie munson x fem!reader

w/c: 1.6k

Siouxsie and the Banshees was softly playing through the dimly lit shop. The stacks of new records were beginning to lose their height as you sorted them out into their appropriate bins. There was dust in the air from the number of bins you were kicking out of the way. Usually there was someone to help you with the heavy lifting, but it was 10 AM on a Tuesday. A time void of customers.

“(Y/N)!!” Eddie’s voice boomed through the store.

There was something almost pathetic about how fast a smile appeared on your face when you heard him. You loved it when Eddie visited you at work. He always made your shift go by at Mach speeds. He helped you on inventory days, walking around holding piles of records all whilst giving you free music advice. Which was really just him complaining about anything you put on the loudspeaker. Because according to the dramatic mop of hair, ‘your music taste would be perfect if you just cut out all the moody, creepy whining.’

“I know you’re in here, short stack! Only you would be playing Siouxsie.” You could hear the eyeroll from across the store.

“Yeah, whatever, act like I haven’t seen you nod your head to Happy House.” You walked onto the main floor where Eddie was sitting on the counter, next to the Madonna cassettes. “Nice of you to come see me, Edward.”

“No need to continue the act, (Y/L/N).” His face was stone cold, eyes blank. Last time he looked that severe, he was being told that Hellfire couldn’t use the theatre room because the basketball team had booked it last second. Not a good day to be around Hellfire’s dungeon master. Mike, Dustin and Lucas avoided him for two days, just to be safe.

“You don’t have to pretend to be friends with me any longer; for I have been told the truth.” He hopped off the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, covering the Megadeth graphic plastered on his black tee. “The lady lies.”

“Me lady?” You pointed your finger to your chest, confused as you could be. “I lie?” Brows furrowed as you thought of any fib you might’ve muttered out lately.

“You lie! If we were friends, you would’ve never kept your love for Lord of the Rings from me!” he exclaimed, hand on his forehead. In that moment, the appreciation you had for Eddie’s dramatics had been replaced with a strong urge to kill. You should’ve guessed it though; it had been exactly one day and one night since you had admitted it to Dustin. And Dustin is a HUGE blabber mouth. The boy did not stop.

“Ah, heard about that huh?”

“Yeah, I heard about that.” He rudely mimicked your voice and glared at you. “This entire time, when I was holding stacks of Duran Duran for you, we could’ve been talking about Boromir’s heroic sacrifice.” It was taking everything in Eddie not to crack. He couldn’t stop thinking about how cute you look all pouty. You were all frown lines and crossed arms.

The small crush Eddie had on you seemed to grow at speeds that would leave NASA’s head spinning. When you were first introduced, he didn’t think much of you. Some chick he saw at school occasionally, walking with Nancy or laughing with faceless losers. You were one of the rare people that didn’t move to the other side of the hallway when he walked by, so he definitely remembered you when Dustin was pushing him toward the group. He already knew you were dating Steve, how could he not? ‘Steve’s girlfriend’ was your identifier. And back then, there was nothing he cared less about. Currently it’s something that didn’t let him sleep at night.

Eddie was never sure what love would feel like; and now he knew what both love and heartbreak felt like. Even so, he was never truly sad, not when he could spend time with you like this. The faux vexed look you were forcing onto your face was enough to crush any self-pity swelling in his chest. Besides, he knew that there was no way he had a chance. You loved Steve, and Eddie knew there was no one else you would rather love.

“You would be a Boromir kind of guy.”

Eddie held his hand over his chest as if he were hit with an arrow. “A woman after my own heart.” He fell onto the counter he was previously sitting on.

“Where’s my pretty girl?” The voice of the sandy haired man was heard before he was seen. Eddie watched your eyes light up before you walked around the counter toward the door.

“Hi, Stevie.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. Steve was like a giant, human Xanax. He made every muscle in your body relax, every racing thought slow down. You squeezed him tight and took a deep breath. Steve loved your hugs. You hugged him as if he had gone away for years at a time.

Steve’s arms wrapped around your shoulders, and he kissed the top of your head. “I missed you.”

“Aw I missed you more, Harrington.” Eddie stood behind you. His arms were crossed over his chest. He was trying his best to look as big as possible. Even if he did know you loved Steve, it did not keep him from messing with him as often as he could.

There was really very little things Eddie could do about the pesky feelings that clawed at his chest when your eyes reached his. He knew that at some point they would slowly fizzle out, like the bubbles in his favorite beer. But for now, he was going to enjoy them. Enjoy looking at you smile, hearing you laugh, rolling your eyes, even putting away those annoying records and cassettes. Even if the image of you stuck to Harrington chunked away at his health. He was used to piecing his heart back together with the scraps of time he could spend with you. Eddie knew what his role was in life and getting the girl wasn’t part of it. It was devastating but his songs had never been better.

You felt Steve’s body tense up. “Man, you’re in here a lot.” He kept a possessive arm around your shoulders. “You wouldn’t want my girl or anything, would you?”

Your head snapped up to look at your boyfriend. That was a really jerky thing to say. Something King Steve would say. Which is what was the most surprising bit, with all the effort Steve put in to distance himself with his asshole high school self. All his other moments of jealousy were pretty tame, cute even. But he was being a jerk to your friend, and it was very upsetting.

Eddie scoffed. “I could never. That would be really dumb of me, right?” He grabbed your hand and pulled you toward him, his lips placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I bid your farewell, fair maiden. I have dragons to slay and whatnot.”

The sunlight from outside painted the walls of the record store once Eddie opened the door. The second he was out of ear shot you finally spoke to Steve.

“I hate it when you’re like that.” Steve looked over at you when he heard your voice, and your frown was like a shot to the heart. He was no stranger to your cute angry face, but he knew when you were really upset. That frown looks nothing like the one you shoot him when he steals some of your fries. And he knew why you were upset. He was being a douche bag. As he was saying the words, he knew they were very asshole things to say but he couldn’t stop it. Steve couldn’t help how angry Eddie’s heart eyes made him.

“C’mon baby. He was flirting with you.” He tried to reason with you, walking around the counter to where you were counting some cassettes. “He has to know he can’t have you. Even if you’re all nerdy too.”

“Steve, Eddie isn’t a threat to you.” You turned around to face him. “Just cuz we both like..”

“I know. God, I know he’s not. I’m not insecure, sweets.” He put his hand on your right hip. Looking down at you. “I know I was made for you ‘cus there’s no one out there that loves you like I do.” He let go of your hip and found your hand. A perfect fit, but he already knew that. If that thing about an invisible string was true, he knew you were both knotted up together. Like those impossible knots on your necklaces, the ones you have Steve work out for you.

The anger that you felt for Steve dissipated and turned to another familiar feeling. Adoration. Love. Loving Steve has been the easiest thing you have ever done. He made it so easy. With his honey coated words and his pretty pink lips that kiss away all your worries.

“I just wish you would be nice to Eddie. He’s done nothing but be good friend to me.” There was a part of Steve that knew you were right. He was a good friend, not just to you but to multiple of his own friends. But the part of him that knew he was in love with you made him want to pummel Eddie.

“I just hate that he thinks about you the way I do.” He placed a gentle kiss on your lips. “It should be illegal. I should put in a word with Hop, get him arrested or something.” Another kiss on the tip of your nose. “In fact, get every loser that thinks they have a chance with you and through ‘em in jail.” Another kiss to your forehead. He saw the way you were biting back a smile when he pulled away.

“Just please stop being an asshole okay?” His finger found your sides and he started to poke, making you giggle and squirm away.

“If you insist, angel.” His lips pressed to yours for a long kiss.

taglist: @slashersluttt @slurmp69 @sadbitchfangirl @actual-mom-steve-harrington @stylesyourmine @pennyllanne @johnricharddeacy

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie angst #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #joe keery

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gaytav · 2 months

Text

My Wound, There's No Cure

Pair: Lae'zel x Fem!Reader

Description: "How do you cure a wound when there's no cure to it?"

Words: 460

P.s: So sorry if it's not that great loves, but I wanted to post something today hihi

"At that moment, she found herself taking refuge in her beloved's tent... but she still felt the cold... the present emptiness, sitting by her side watching the Githyanki reminisce about what life was like when Y/n was still here. - It's so cold and dark without you here, my love, my wound...

Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered your death, she just wanted to close her eyes and make this nightmare end. Who would have ever imagined that the strong and fearless warrior Lae'zel would be sitting on the ground with a Y/n's shirt in her arms while tears streamed down endlessly.

She no longer cared about it, not anymore, it doesn't make sense anymore, nothing makes sense after your departure. - Oh my wound, you had healed and scarred my old wound that bled endlessly and tried to take away all my strength, you made me someone... better... but... but now I have a huge hole in my chest, my heart was taken from me without permission on the day I saw the life leave your eyes, when I felt the fever of your skin leave and all that was left was the freezing cold...

Her voice faltered at the end, her tears turned into heavy sobs, she bent over on the ground, resting her forehead on the ground and held Y/n's shirt close to her nose, remembering its sweet smell, trying to hold onto those memories, the memories of your laughter, your promises, of your love and how painful it was to feel the emptiness in her chest, the place you occupied.

Lae'zel let out a cry of pain, desperation, loss from the depths of her chest, and lying there on the ground was where Shadowheart found her and it was there where the half-elf lay down pulling the Githyanki into her arms, and there she remained silent because she knew the warrior needed to release that, this pain in her chest, she didn't need to hear pretty lies.

Her eyes, her delicate eyes that always sparkled when she saw you, were filled with fear, despair, Lae'zel wanted to take that look away from you, but it was already too late, she failed to protect the only good thing in her life, she failed to take care of your healing and now her wound will bleed forever until her death... death, hmm doesn't sound so bad... would she have you in her arms again?

- My love, m-my warrior... light of my day... I-I'm sorry... for not fulfilling our... promises... Her breathing was fast, her voice came out with difficulty because of the pain she felt, she held the face of her beloved Lae'zel knowing it would be the last time she would have the opportunity. - I l-love you... don't... forget me... the last thing you saw was the Githyanki's gaze turning into a storm of despair and everything turned dark.

Lae'zel perfectly remembers feeling your last heartbeat and at that moment an incomprehensible pain consumed her, a pain that doesn't leave her even after 2 years this pain doesn't go away, maybe it's her who doesn't let the pain go, maybe because that's the only sensation left for her to feel... at first the party was a mess after your departure, no one expected to lose their leader, the pillar of this suddenly structured framework.

Everyone "improved" in a way, of course they can't help but remember the heroine Y/n was, the heroine who sacrificed her own life for her family... but Lae'zel couldn't find that cure, the only cure she had is gone... forever, how can she improve from this... knowing she'll never see you again... that you'll become a memory and slowly everyone will forget about you... no, she can't do that, she couldn't do that.

That's why every day she finds herself here, in your tent, hugging the dusty cloths from your wardrobe... it was all that was left of you... there's no cure to heal the void you left in her chest..."

#baldur's gate 3 x reader #lae'zel x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 #lae'zel #lae'zel x tav

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notyour-valentine · 2 years

Text

The Boy in the Window 13 ~ Tommy Shelby x Reader (Series)

Chapter Summary: Tommy, despite his plan, prepares for the worst. So must (Y/N).

Notes: I can almost taste the end...but the end of what? That's the question... I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.

Here, you can find my [Masterlist] and the [Series Masterlist]

Warning: Canon conforming mention of violence. Smut/ sexual content (18/21+). Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Expect spoilers for Peaky Blinders Season 1-4.

Wordcount: 3413

Part 13

[Previously]

The betting shop looked entirely different by day than it had at night, with sun falling in through the windows, illuminating the dancing dust.

There were no shadows now, constantly creeping up on the milk glass doors, but she was still afraid.

The same hand that had caused her terror the last time she had been here was now the only one ensuring she didn't fall apart.

He had come and told her to come with him to the office and so she had, letting his hand on the small of her back guide her past the tables and the chalkboards all the way to his office at the end of it.

Emma and Charlie had joined, exploring his office curiously.

To her surprise, the boy had never been here before. Then again, why would Tommy Shelby, if given the option, bring their child here? Why would anyone, apart from a last resorts?

Charlie in particular adored the painting of a horse behind his father's desk, while Emma fell in love with the swivel chair.

(Y/N) saw that contraption as an accident waiting to happen and on any other day, she would've told Emma to stop, but today she didn't have the energy.

"Tommy, why am I hear?", She asked.

"Insurance.", He told his desk, not looking up to meet her eyes.

From the paperwork placed at his side, he pulled out several sheets of paper.

"They're already set with the lawyers. Only thing missing's your signature."

"Signature for what?", She asked.

Tommy took a deep breath and walked around the desk, standing so close that the children wouldn't hear.

"If it goes wrong, I don't know how many will be left.", He said, his tone void of all emotion, which made her shudder.

It.

She had heard this ominous it a lot on the last few days.

The great it he had in motion, that apparently could end this vendetta with the Italians, that occupied his mind and body alike, keeping him away during the day and making him get up at ungodly hours during the night.

He didn't explain it to her but she didn't ask either. She didn't need to know more about it than she already did- she knew it was a risk, a gamble.

"How many?", She asked.

"Of us. If it goes south, it'll definitely be me and who knows who else. We'll all be there."

Tommy cleared his throat and handed her some papers.

"What's this?", She asked once more, her eyes glancing over the Shelby letterhead.

"I'll not leave it to the fucking parish to decide what happens to my son.", He said sharply, flipping a few pages over to the final one.

There she could find his own signature, as well as that of the lawyers, and of Mrs. Gray.

One gap remained.

Under it, someone had typed out (Y/N) Hale, née (L/N).

"Everything's sorted. There are people, independent people, who'll know what to do and deal with the paperwork. You can trust them."

"Tommy, are you certain?", She asked.

He gave a quick nod and handed her the pen, his face a mask of stone, with not a muscle betraying him.

(Y/N) stared at the white paper, watching the ink of his signature blur in her vision.

Once this was over, it couldn't be undone and the implications were not lost on her, their weight, the responsibility.

But he was sure, and she couldn't deny him this small fragment of certainty, not when he might very well be going to his death.

Not too long ago, in this very same room, she had feared what would happen to her daughter if she were to die.

It was not a feeling she ever wanted to experience again, nor one she would wish on even her worst enemy if she had one.

His hand found the small of her back as she leaned over and signed the document, shaking as she put the pen aside.

Beside her, Tommy breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

He averted his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back and pulling her in, so that she had her head resting against his shoulder, his arms holding her in a secure embrace that only made her feel more uncertain.

"We won't need it.", She promised, or prayed- maybe.

His only answer was a kiss to her temple.

They only broke apart when Charlie tugged at her dress.

"Can I get a hug too?", He asked.

Tommy reached down and lifted him up so that he sat on his hip, stroking his hair from his forehead.

"Tomorrow, you'll go on a trip.", He told him, his voice changing to a lighthearted tone the way only parent’s voices could.

"Curly will take you and Emma and (Y/N) on the boat and you'll go to a forest to have a picnic."

"Are we, Mummy?", Emma asked, pushing past the chair to join then.

(Y/N) only nodded.

It involved the Changrettas coming into Small Heath. It involved Arthur and all of the Shelbys in one spot.

And it meant that Tommy wanted her and the children away for the city.

(Y/N) hadn’t even found the ground to argue on and so here they were.

That day, Tommy stayed. He stayed for lunch and after, stayed for tea and dinner, played with the children and bathed Charlie.

Afterwards he went up with her to put them to bed, listening to the stories, and then the song.

She left the room before he did, not wanting to disturb his goodnight to Charlie.

Instead, she went back downstairs and sat down on the sofa, drawing her legs under her.

The room was completely still, and yet her ears ached as if a matching band had been playing for hours.

She could feel the strain from the frantic beating of her heart, not just in her soul like the poets did, but in her chest, the way old people would complain about.

And she was afraid- so deeply afraid.

Tomorrow, she thought, Tommy could be dead.

Tomorrow Charlie could become an orphan.

And then what?

(Y/N) knew she shouldn't feel as daunted as she did. She had lost people before, had buried and mourned them- a mother, a father and sister, a husband and a brother. It was nothing she hadn't done before, nothing she hadn't gotten through before, but the thought of tomorrow was a bottomless pitch black pit, so grim and ghastly it drained any lighty, any last fragment of hope.

What would she do?

He had said there were plans in place, people who'd tell her, who'd guide her and show her but what would she do?

What could she do?

What words were there which she could say to Charlie? To explain?

Would she even be able to say them if she knew?

(Y/N) leaned her forehead against her knees and took a shuddering breath.

The worst part was that it was nothing but a selfish fear, not just for Charlie, but for herself, her own, personal, cowardly, selfish reasons- reasons she had no right to.

And she had no right to the tears that burned on her cheeks either, nor to the way her lip trembled, or how her throat tightened.

She had no right to any of it, but she felt it all the same and she didn't know how to make any of it stop. And she knew it was too late to try.

Somewhere along the way she had crossed the Rubicon without being able to handle the tension as the dice spun, preparing to spell out her fate - and that of the children.

When his hand found her shoulder, she flinched so hard she nearly fell off of the edge of the sofa.

At once, she brought her sleeve up to her eyes, scrubbing at them the way one would scrub at a stain in the desperate attempt to get rid of it.

"I'm fine.", She hissed, getting up from the sofa.

During her escape to the kitchen she made the mistake of glancing at him, only to be met with piercing, pale eyes, opened wide and filled with pain that only proved the agony she felt to be more than appropriate.

(Y/N) braced herself on the kitchen table, leaning forward as she fought for control over her shaking hands, her hitching breaths, her thundering heart and her foolish tears.

It was a futile battle, but she had known that before she started, otherwise she wouldn't have left the room.

"(Y/N)."

He said her name so softly, so gently, it seemed almost uncanny when spoken by a rough voice like his.

She forced her eyes shut and shook her head.

"It's fine.", She assured him, not turning to look at him, only to hear him sigh once more.

When she realised he had moved to stand behind her, she regretted coming here, because now there was no way out unless she wanted to go past him.

That meant looking at him, and allowing him to look at her and that was something she really didn't want to happen, not while the tears were still coming.

She so hated to cry.

His hands found her shoulders.

"I said it's fine.", She repeated, her voice betraying her the same it had before as she wiped her cheeks with her sleeve.

With determination, but entirely without force, he turned her around.

(Y/N) hid her face from his sight with her sleeve- or at least she tried to.

Instead of pulling her hands away, he drew her in until his chin rested atop her head.

She took a shuddering breath, inhaling the scent of him- of his cigarettes and the shaving cream he used, of soap, of whisky and smoke.

His hands found her back and began to draw circles between her shoulder blades. Up and down. Up and down.

"It'll be alright.", He whispered.

(Y/N) was desperate to believe him. She wanted nothing more than to let the tension in her shoulders fall from her, to melt into his embrace and believe him.

But she couldn't.

"You don't know that.", She insisted, her voice trembling through her tears which threatened to soak through his shirt.

Thomas Shelby took a deep breath before correcting himself.

"You and the children will be alright."

The pain in her chest was so sharp at his words, she very nearly buckled over, the implications not lost on her.

"There are things in place-"

She forced her eyes shut and shook her head, not wanting to hear this once again.

So what if he had things in place?

So what if there were people that would tell her where to go and what to do?

All (Y/N) did was shake her head as if that would block out his words and the harsh reality they carried.

In a desperate, futile attempt to draw back, she turned her head away, knowing she wouldn't have the strength of will to pull all of herself out of his reach.

His hand found her cheek, smudging the tears with his fingers as he tried to stroke them away.

“(Y/N).”, he whispered, turning her face to his.

She had forced her eyes shut so she had no warning until she felt his lips on hers. They were as soft and cautious, almost hesitant, as they had been the night of Charlie’s birthday, when he feared her possible rejection.

His hand was still holding her face with such care as if she were a glass figurine he feared would shatter.

She didn’t want him to kiss her and she didn’t want to kiss him back. She didn’t want to melt into him, to drown in the warmth of his embrace, to have the pleasure he could give her wipe away her worries. She doesn’t want to hold him close and be held in equal measure.

But wanting and needing were to very different things.

And she needed him, in the same, burning desperate need he seemed to feel for her.

Her hands found his chest, running up the fabric of his shirt to steady herself against him as she kissed him back.

His hands had left her face and pulled her blouse from her skirt. Even when he began to undo it, button by button, he didn’t stop kissing her.

The warmth of his hands, as they brushed the white cloth off of her shoulders kept any chill at bay, and spread a burning of their own as they found her shoulders.

Her own trembling fingers were far less skilled as they fidgeted with his buttons. He had to help her get rid of it, and broke the kiss to do so.

(Y/N) stared at him.

By now, she knew every mark on his chest, every scar, every tattoo. She knew what they felt like under the touch of her lips and the caress of her hands - she knew, and she hated that she knew.

She hated how used she had become to him, how familiar his skin felt on hers, how natural it felt for his arms to wrap around her.

She hated the way he sat her down on the sofa so gently and how she felt no shame when he knelt down in front of her.

And she hated herself for doing nothing to stop it.

But how could she? This might be the last time…the very last time…

His fingers burned on her skin as they unclasped her stockings, rolling them down gently. When the fabric passed her knee, he leaned down to kiss it.

He repeated it on the other leg, only this time, he pushed them apart and kissed the inside of her knee, finding the spot of one of her childhood scars.

(Y/N) knew it was no accident.

His fingertips traced a line down her leg and the way they barely brushed against her skin made her shudder.

Once he reached her ankle, he closed his hands around it and lifted it atop his shoulder.

“Relax.”, he whispered, his lips redder than they usually wore, flushed and swollen and glistening slightly. “I’ve got you.”

She tried, she really did.

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the back of the sofa, while he continued to trace kisses on the inside of her thigh, the image of his dark eyes and shining lips burning in her memory.

“Tommy!”, she whispered. “Please…”

Nights ago, he had begged her to make him feel better and now she was asking him the very same thing - or at least to make her forget, even if it was only for a moment.

At first it was enough for her to melt into his touch, but as she grew ever more lightheaded, she just had to touch him, in any way she could, to hold onto him, else she feared she’d fall into an abyss of her own.

(Y/N)’s hands shook as they found the back of his head, her fingers coiling in his hair.

Somehow that only seemed to urge him on as he quickened the movements of both his fingers and his tongue. One of his hands pressed down on her already trembling thigh while the other reached up to steady her hips, limiting the way she’d writhe and squirm.

“Tommy-”, she managed to whimper, her voice barely more than a breath, as he brought her right to the edge, but she wasn’t ready, not yet.

“Tommy.”

Only when she tugged at his hair with more force, did he allow her to bring his face up.

In doing so, she almost lost her balance and very nearly crashed into his shoulders.

“(Y/N)?”, he asked, just as out of breath as she was.

Instead of answering, she pulled him in and crashed her lips to his.

If this really was their last night, she wanted to hold him, as close as possible, independent of the many pleasures he could coax from her in other ways.

For a second or two, Tommy seemed struck with her change of pace, but then one arm found its way around her back, pushing her up against him.

Her own hands found his chest, fingers brushing over skin, tracing his scars and the tattoos, all these little details-

A desperation gripped her, urging her to reach out again, to touch them again, to kiss them again, because if she didn’t memorise them now, she could never get the chance again and that would mean forgetting.

Another shudder, a darker shudder ran through her, making her tighten their embrace.

His hand had to force their way between their two bodies in an attempt to undo his trousers, brushing against her burning skin, letting her feel even the slightest of movements.

She buried her head in the crook of his neck, and so he must have felt her faint gasp when he entered her.

He moved slowly, almost painfully so, and in stark contrast to the rush she had felt earlier.

Because as soon as something starts, it is only counting down to the end and this end…

(Y/N)’s fingers dug into his shoulder, her nails biting into his skin as she clung to him.

Every thrust pushed her closer, every thrust brought her closer to him.

The kisses she pressed on the side of his neck were wet frantic, a futile attempt to say things she couldn’t voice.

But the grew ever sloppier, mixed with trembling gasps and shudders.

His own lips covered her collarbone and chest with his hot breath and kisses, and yet their affect transcended her skin, leaving their mark in the depth of her soul, a mark she knew would stay far longer than the remnants of his physical touch.

She clung to him when he brought her to the edge and crossed it, and kept holding onto him even after he had found his own release.

“Not yet.”, she whispered.

His arms tightened around her in response, not caring for the heat, for the coat of sweat that covered the both of them, just like she didn’t.

When (Y/N) dropped her head onto his chest, she trembled, and when she heard him sigh, she realised he knew that this time it wasn’t from either cold or the aftermath of her pleasure.

Tilting his head, he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head, burying his nose in her hair.

It was the creaking of the floorboard that woke her, the kind of creaks that they only made in her bedroom upstairs.

And she was in her bed, lying on her stomach, her head facing the room.

Since the last thing (Y/N) remembered was forcing her eyes shut to stop any possible tears as she listened to his thundering heartbeat, she knew she hadn’t made her way up here on her own.

And yet, the bed was cold.

She could hear him moving around in the room though, the groan of old wood, the hiss of fabric, even the click of metal cufflinks.

But (Y/N) didn’t open her eyes.

That would mean looking at him and that would mean watching him leave.

The thought alone made her heart clench so fiercely in her chest, her face nearly betrayed her.

The bedframe squeaked slightly as he sat down on the side of the bed, dipping the matrasse.

(Y/N) held her breath. She knew it was a childish thing to do - as if just because she couldn’t see something would prevent it from happening.

That perhaps the adult thing, the right thin, would be opening her eyes and sitting up.

But she couldn’t.

His hand was as warm as the caresses of the summer sun as it touched her naked shoulder.

“(Y/-”

Tommy broke off before finishing her name, instead ending in a sigh.

She could feel the grip of his hand, which had already been gentle, become even softer.

For a moment he just sat there, as her heart thundered in her chest so violently, she thought he must be able to hear it.

But if he did, he didn’t let it change his mind, as his hand smoothed down some tangled strands of her hair.

When he bent down, she could feel the fabric of his shirt against her skin a mere heartbeat before he kissed her temple, letting both his lips and his hands linger.

The bed creaked again, as goosebumps covered her back and arms in the absence of the warmth of his touch.

Her breath hitched when he pulled the blanket all the way up to her neck.

Her hands coiled into the fabric until she could feel her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand even in spite of cloth between them as the lock clicked into place.

But that sound wasn’t nearly as bad as hearing the front door close a few minutes later - proof, that he really was gone.

(Y/N) wouldn’t have gathered the strength of will to get up that day if it hadn’t been for the children, or the way her jaw tightened, giving her mere moments to reach the basin.

End of Part 13

Part 14

Thank you for reading! I’d be very grateful for feedback of any kind!

Taglist:

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @watercolorskyy

@books-livre

TBITW Taglist:

@kaitebugg03 @esistmon @chlorrox @theshelbyslimited @budugu @woofgocows @orkwardx0 @judig92 @100percentamess @kabbuu @esposadomd @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere @starsnsecrets @lady-loves-a-lot @katiepie67 @acoolnight @chaotic-onigiri @ohshititsfenharel @muhahaha303 @globetrotter28 @xoprincessmel @shittingonyourgrave @pessimisticbiitch @elisa20beth @simran-preet19 @majesticcmey @akiisbae @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @vodkainthecoffee @pearlstiare @jk-acc @cutecurly-hair @lovecleastrange @kishie8

#Peaky Blinders #Tommy Shelby #Thomas Shelby #Thomas Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby Imagine #Thomas Shelby Imagine #The Boy in the Window #valentineswritings

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mangardel · 11 months

Text

I can still smell her perfume

Pairing: Ash lynx x reader

Warnings: none

Songfic for Ash and his ex lover

Song: perfume by lovejoy

It’s 3:45 (a.m)

And I just bite my tongue

Update me on your life

And how you’ve found the one

A dark blanket was thrown over the sky making a pitch black void. Ash lay wide awake on his back staring up at the blank canvas of his ceiling. His hand on his forehead while hearing your words reverberate in his head.

Every bar had it’s own natural ambience and Ash’s bar had a distinguished aura. The smell of cigarette ash and sweat was thick and heavy as it invaded your senses. It brought back memories even the ones you tried to your utmost ability to forget.

Even as you were holding on to your lover’s hand you couldn’t pretend as though you weren’t hoping to see a certain blonde in the crowd. It had been a year, maybe even two since you decided to end things. You couldn’t say you didn’t miss him but you couldn’t say that Micah didn’t make your heart melt any less. You and your new boyfriend had been together for 4 months already. In these said months you’ve already shown him that you loved every part of him just as you had shown Ash all those years ago. You were falling into quick sand and the more you struggled the deeper you fell.

“Why are we here again Y/n?” Micah asked. His light brown curls fell over his green eyes.

“Because it’s fun and I wanted us to go out tonight.” You smiled at him which was enough to make them zip their mouth and keep following you around like a lost puppy as he had been doing before.

Ash had spotted you before you did him. He walked towards you in an attempt to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He wanted to call out your name but his words were lodged in his throat but you felt his almost cold gaze nonetheless.

“Ash? Is that you?” You called to him with a smile, trying your hardest to pretend as though you didn’t expect to see him here. All the blonde could mutter out was your name with a soft smile of his own. You both started to slowly walk towards each other. Your arms were held out to give him a hug but instead he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket inaudibly denying your act of affection and softly smiled. You wiped your hands on your shirt in embarrassment.

“Sooo? What have you been up to?” You tried to make conversation. The tension in the atmosphere could be cut with scissors and the sort of astonished look he was giving you didn’t help a bit.

“Y’know same old, same old. You?” He has so much more to say. He loves you. He misses you. He wants you as his own again. But those words were to be held only in his heart until he could let them out again.

“That’s great and I’m great actually, I finally got that new apartment you know I’ve been looking at for forever and things are going great at the hospi-“ Your sentence was cut off as you felt a hands on your waist.

“Hey babe I’m back, who’s this?” You hadn’t even realized Micah had disappeared into the crowd nor did you know where he went off to or that your hand felt empty and light.

“Babe this is my friend Ash, Ash this is my boyfriend Micah.” You smiled sheepishly, almost embarrassed. You calling Ash a friend stung him in the chest and the mere thought that you were taking pride in calling someone else besides him your significant other only set his heart on fire. The flame was small but it burned like hell.

Micah reached out his hand to shake Ash’s with a smile oblivious to the other man’s growing hatred and envy for him.

But I don’t like his eyes

And I distrust their name

And I hate their haircut

They look like a prick (a prick)

The blonde kissed his teeth not realizing that he has barely said anything at all the entire conversation.

“Well,” you said clapping your hands together with that pretty little smile of yours “why don’t we all grab a drink and you two can get to know each other a bit more.” You looked between the two males while one was returning your smile the other was shooting a glare and if looks could kill your little boyfriend would’ve been dead long ago.

But it's all the same

Would be daft of me to cry

Your tongue is razor sharp

I miss when it would fight mine

He needed to talk to you alone. Try to find a way to get you to dump that prick in less than an hour. He want- no he needed you back. He needed you back and he’d do anything to have you.

The blonde rested his elbow on the bar holding his head in his hand and swirling his drink around in it’s glass. All he could do was channel through your memories together. Every laugh, every cry, every intimate moment where you’d lay your naked body on top of his and let him draw circles on your back as you both slowly passed out from exhaustion. He needed you.

Every single day after you left all he could and would ever do was think about you and now you were right in front of him and he didn’t know what to say. He needed you?

He even missed when you guys would fight. It sounds crazy but even when you hated his guts he still loved and adored every part of you. He let you yell at him for however long you needed to, whatever made you feel better and whatever put you back in his arms the quickest. He needed you.

He missed that sharp tongue of yours, something you both had in common. Every snarky remark you made, he had one waiting for you in return. But even so, all he could do now was listen to you speak and wish that you would look at him how you looked at Mitch or whatever his name was again.

Two hours had gone by. The coke he had in his cup had formed a dark whirlpool from where he’d been spinning it around. He only wished it could grow in size and swallow him whole.

Left your heart on standby

By the way he holds you

Bet he serenades you

I can't really blame you

You had went off to the bathroom, leaving an empty seat between the two males. Ash held a fierce scowl, while Micah awkwardly looked back and forth towards the floor, Ash, and the bathroom door.

“So,” he finally began, putting his drink down on the wooden counter “where did you two meet?”

“Oh it’s a long story…” Micah began but he was drowned out.

Now, did Ash really give two shits? No. But did he at least have to pretend that he liked this guy? Yes.

By the looks of it, you hadn’t even told your little boy toy about you and Ash’s (past) relationship. Either that or that man has not one jealous bone in his body but that was presumed already by the fact that he even let you talk to Ash for so long.

When you two were still together he was suspicious of every male that even breathed in your general direction. He knew he treated you so much better than this motherfucker, even if he didn’t always treat you how you deserved.

You were wearing the perfume he liked. How could he tell? He could smell it on your little lapdog here.

And I can still smell her perfume

Did it rub off on you?

And I can still smell her perfume

Did it rub off on you?

You had finally returned.

“Sorry bout that, there was a line. You ready to go baby?” And with that Micah hopped off his stool.

Baby? You gotta be fucking with him at this point.

“Well it was nice seeing you again Ash, but we’re gonna head out. I hope to see you around.” You said as you grabbed your car keys off the counter, leaving money to pay for the drinks.

“Yeah, it was nice seeing you too” he put on a fake smile. He had to pat himself on the back for upholding his facade even after watching Micah snake an arm around your waist. That was his spot.

You gave him a tight hug which he returned adding an extra squeeze of his own and then just like that you were gone again.

#ash lynx x reader #ash lynx #ash lynx imagine #banana fish #banana fish x reader #banana fish imagine

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sugarushsuga · 1 year

Text

Stay there, I’m coming to get you - #83

Genre/Au's: Smut, PWP; Hockey player AU – Friend with benefits(?)

Paring: Taehyung x F Reader

Words count: 2329

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Smut; Fingering; Dirty talk; Public sex; Car sex; Pining;

Synopsis: Taehyung is friends with your best friend’s boyfriend, what doesn’t make you both very close, beside the hang outs and constant teasing each other. But when you need help, he is there to help you, not once but twice in a roll.

Author note: If I didn’t procrastinate I would have it done much sooner. This is Tae’s bday piece. Also is part of my milestone drabble game, the ask for it went to void when Shay’s old blog did it too (Tagging the current one @egocypher) but I never forgot about it.

Masterlist

The ringing tune on your ear makes you anxious, is the third time you call Lolla’s phone, and it rings until voicemail. You know she is enjoying the victory party, but you need her right now and as your best friend it’s her duty to pick up the phone.

Her cheerful voice comes through your ears when you reach her voice mail again. Hanging up you sigh and let your head rest back on the wall. Something you would never do in a different situation. But despair is starting to fill your body and you don’t know what to do. Lolla has been your best friend since middle school, and you both have always looked out for each other, especially after going to college.

You both made a pact that whenever one of you went out on a date, the other had to send a text after the first hour, to know how things were going, if thing are so-so, a call in the next half hour, if things are bad a call right away to give the receiver an excuse to maybe ditch the date or have the friend come.

Today she didn’t send the message, she is celebrating the school’s hockey team classification to the nationals. Her boyfriend is part of the team. You were invited to their celebration, but you’ve already had plans with some other friends. Actually, now you’d say they are just acquaintances, you hoped to become friends.

They are like the cool group from your major, you have a few different classes with most of them. They were the ones who approached you, talking with you here and there, one at a time, in different classes, greeting you whenever you crossed paths on social occasions, until they asked you for lunch and then to hang out at a bar.

You press Lolla’s name again hoping that fourth time's the charm and she’ll pick up the phone.

Maybe you are taking too long in the bathroom, but you don’t really care right now.

The tune rings in your ear for the fifth time, another two times and it’ll reach her voice mail.

“Lolla?” You ask as the line connects and noise comes through the phone.

“No! Y/L/N, Lolla can’t come to the phone right now, she’s having her soul sucked off through her mouth right now!” The cheerful raspy voice, that usually makes your knees weak, says through the line.

“Oh!” You sigh, letting your shoulders drop.

“What is it?” The male voice asks.

“Nothing, I- “

“Wait a second!” He says. You can hear him talking with someone, some excuse me’s and indistinct noises until the voice comes back clearer. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you out with your new friends that are, oh so much cooler than us?”

You mentally curse Lolla for running her mouth about it to Seokjin’s whole team about why you weren’t going out with them after the game. “Yeah,” you roll your eyes.

“So, is it true that you ditched us, to hang with some unknown, much cooler group than us?” He chuckles.

“Hm… I didn’t ditch,” you say trying to explain.

“You just thought they were much cooler than us?” He teases again.

“No, Taehyung. I just…” Your voice fades. You don’t have any excuses; he is right on his teasing, and you just want to find an excuse to leave.

“If you are calling, things aren’t really that nice right now, right?” His voice comes softer, and the teasing is gone.

“I don’t have any excuses to leave, I came here with them. I'm not very familiar with this area and I’m unsure how to leave by myself.” You admit, voice lower as you sigh, remembering you put your own self in this situation.

“Hm, well, lucky for you, here it’s not very fun either. Stay there, I’m coming to get you!” His voice once again has that cheerful tone.

And just like that he is gone.

The line goes mute.

Taking the phone away from your face you see he hung up.

Sighing you get out of the stool and practice a smile on the mirror, you debate yourself if you should try to fix your hair that was sticking to the wall or just leave it. Deciding to leave it you walk out of the bathroom, back to the table where your new “friends” are.

They are talking about the significance of life or something else, you don’t bother enough to join the conversation, just sitting there sipping on your drink waiting for the ice to melt so you can have it for longer. You don’t want to risk getting drunk around people you aren’t close to or very comfortable with.

Twenty minutes later half of the Hockey team burst through the door of the bar with Lolla guiding them.

“Y/n!” She cheers loudly, “what a surprise to find you here!”

She has her phone in hand and Taehyung trailing right behind her looking at her phone over her shoulder. They tracked you. And you thank the gods the day she set up the sharing location app so you both can know where each other are especially when one is out on a bad date. And today you are the one out on a bad date.

“Hey!” You try to sound surprised and not let your happiness show.

“What a coincidence!” Lolla greets your group of friends with a smile.

You look around and there is half a hockey team around the table, Lolla standing with Seokjin by one of your sides and Taehyung on your other side.

“Oh, I think the bar is full.” Jen, one of the new friends, says in a discreet sneer.

“Oh, really?” Lolla responds looking around at the very chill and not full bar. “Yeah, I guess it is. We won’t be able to stay here.”

“But the bar is not full…” Namjoon comments.

Seokjin punches his friend on the shoulder, not even trying to hide it. “Yeah, it’s full, I guess we’ll need to take our victory party home.”

“Yeah, let’s do it guys!” Taehyung says by your side. “Y/n, do you wanna come? It's a free ride home, plus it will be fun, you know all our parties are fun.”

You look in between your friends and your new group of friends and nod. “Yeah, I’m sorry guys, I'll take their ride. We talk on Monday, okay?”

Getting up as you talk, you put the money for your part on the table and follow the hockey players out, Taehyung has your bag on his hand as you follow him.

The rescue is a success, but now you are worried about how you will all make it home. It’s hard to get an Uber or taxi around the bar, you’ve tried to call on through the app many times before calling Lolla.

The group stops by a minivan, it has the Hockey team name on it together with the college name. Jungkook, one of the youngsters of the team unlocks the driver’s door and opens the van. Telling everyone to get in.

He sits at the driver's place, with Yoongi and Namjoon by his side on the front. In the middle roll goes Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin with Lolla on Seokjin’s lap and her legs over the other guys' laps. Taehyung goes to the back roll and offers you his hand, you follow and ends up sitting in his lap between their gaming gear.

You worry about the safety of all of you, but everyone else seems too hype and happy to care about it. There is loud music, and they all are talking at once as Jungkook starts the car.

Taehyung gently pulls you back against his chest. “I need to put the seat belt around us.” His voice is low and sends a shiver down your back.

Resting back, you let him pull the sit bet around you both, strapping you to him. His hands rest awkwardly on the edge of the seat, surrounded by helmets and other equipment.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, turning towards him. Your nose brushes his jaw and for a reason you don’t know you keep your voice low in a whisper.

“What do you mean?” He asks just as quietly as you did.

Running your hands down his forearms, you cover his hands with yours, to realize he is gripping the seat. “You can touch me, you know?” Pulling his hand, you rest them on your thighs with yours. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Embarrassed?” Taehyung asks without a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“You are getting hard.” You laugh softly, nuzzling his jaw.

“Well, my dick doesn’t really understand that all this wiggling isn’t for our benefit.” He sighs.

Relaxing with his words you make yourself more comfortable against his body. “If it makes you less embarrassed,” you say still holding his hands. “I'm getting wet just by feeling your dick.”

The darkness of the car and the way Taehyung’s breath catches gives you confidence to slip your intertwined hands in between your tights feeling the warmth of it. You part your knees a little more to have more room in between them. You can feel his fingers almost brushing over the wet lacy of your panties. Maybe it is the thriller or the alcohol from the drink you had at the bar or could be the fact Taehyung is basically dicking you through his pants at every bump the car gives, but a new wave of arousal makes you wetter.

Taehyung lets go of one of your hands, letting it travel over your body, smoothing the fabric of your dress, placing his hand flat over your stomach and caressing his way up to your boobs. Gently molding them, fingertip running circles over your covered nipple but not adding quite enough pressure. You whimper his name, and he chuckles in response.

“Taehyung please,” you ask.

“Y/n, this is the nicer way you’ve ever talked to me in all these months since we’ve met.” His voice is hoarse in your ear.

Twisting your body, you manage to turn enough to kiss him, his lips are soft as his hand moves to your throat putting some pressure on it as his tongue explores your mouth. His thumb caressing your damp inner thigh. Your body reacts at its own accord, legs parting further to give his hand more room.

Biting his lower lip, you moan. “Taehyung.”

“God, I’d love to see your face when you moan my name like that.” His breath tickles your neck as he trails kisses over it. “And I’m not embarrassed to feel how wet you are all over your tights.”

“It could be over your hands if you made a move.” You sass.

The confidence comes over the darkness, the music that was turned up. You feel like the car is getting hotter and the air thicker. You don’t know how long the ride is still going to take but you need something to happen, or you won’t ever be able to look at Taehyung’s face again.

“Can you be a good girl and keep it quiet?” Taehyung asks while placing a kiss under your ear. His knees moving your legs further apart.

You eagerly nod in response to his question, but his hand doesn’t move any closer.

“Taehyung, if you don’t know what to do, I can do it myself. You just need to stay still.” You provoke.

“Y/n, someday I’ll fuck this pretty mouth of yours and you won’t be able to be such a brat.” His lips find yours again as his fingers manage to push your panties to the side and two of them slip inside of you at once.

You regret promising to stay quiet as Taehyung shallows your moan. The wet sound coming from his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy is all you can hear, over your friends' laughs and the music. If anyone pays attention, they’ll know what you both are up to in the back seat.

“Your pussy feels so good. Warm, wet and tight.” Your hips roll against Tae’s fingers, you bite your lip hard to keep your moaning quiet as the hot pleasure builds up in your lower stomach.

Letting your head drop back on his shoulder, you want to close your leg at the same time you want more of it. To shy away from him at the same time you want more of Taehyung.

“Are you going to come, all over my hand? Squeeze my finger in your pussy and give me a taste of what it will feel like when I have my dick buried inside of you?” Taehyung parts his knees further, spreading your legs and exposing his finger inside your pussy.

As your moans and whimpers start to get louder, he covers your mouth with his free hand. Making his fingertips brush your spot and his thumb caresses circles over your clit, sending hot pleasure over your whole body, making you tremble and shiver, as your orgasm rips through you, making your eyes roll back, your back arch and your body feel boneless.

Taehyung keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you until the spams are gone and you are just a sweaty mess slumped against his chest. Kissing your forehead, he gently slips his fingers off of you. “Open your mouth baby.”

Confused but too content to question him as you do as told. Parting your lips, Taehyung places his wet fingers on your tongue, and you lick it, feeling the bitter salty taste.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll taste you when we get home, I promise I’ll clean up the mess I made in between your legs.” He says, lips moving against your neck.

“Tae- “

The music cuts off abruptly, and your entire body freezes, eyes widening as Taehyung quickly pulls his fingers from your mouth and unpins your legs so you can close them.

“Does anyone wants McDonald’s?”

100WTSILY - Masterlist

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vibratingskull · 8 months

Text

The Trial part 2 : Don't turn your back

Part1, 2, 3, 4

Thrawn x f!reader

The trial continues and everything go south when you fall for the enemy's strategy...

The morning temperature is suffocating. You didn’t do a thing and you already want to run naked to the lake.

You open the tent and crawl out grunting, what a way to start the day. You observe the landscape at your feet, you don't hear Thrawn coming behind you; You nearly jump out of your skin.

“Maker! Sir, please make a sound next time. You will kill someone one day!”

He doesn’t answer, instead fixing the tent squinting.

“This is not your tent?” He asks, sounding a bit lost.

“I slept with Eli last night.”

Cosblo whistle in your back. You roll your eyes.

“You're a dunce, Cosblo.”

“Each group needs one” He shoots without missing a beat, it takes a smile off your face.

You turn back to a Thrawn staring at you with brows frowned. You’re taken aback. What did you do to deserve the cold shoulder like that? You didn’t…

Oh no.

Did he notice you last night?

You’re frozen in place under his gaze, you wish the earth could swallow you right here and now.

But he just closes his eyes and passes you. You release your breath.

“I am not sure this is the correct circumstance for a display of such behaviors, but I understand stress gets the best of us.”

What? Did he just insinuate…

“What does that mean exactly?”

“That I hope your… relationship will not interfere with the mission.” He warns with a cool tone.

What is going on here?

Eli took this moment to appear.

“ ‘Morning everyone.” He yawns.

“Good morning, Casanova!” Cosblo high fives Eli who blinks in confusion while you spat out your caf. This is ridiculous!

Thrawn takes the floor before you could interject.

“Once you have eaten, we will continue north until we reach the cliff I found yesterday.”

“Shouldn't we head west?” Cosblo intervenes “We won’t cross a cliff but a plateau, like on the map.”

“Well observed cadet, but it would take us a day or more to walk up there. I suggest we go for the shorter road.”Since nobody objected, you all rolled with it. “And while I am at it: Vanto, (y/l/n)? This is the last time this happened.” Eli's still lost and looks at you in hope to have some explanation, on your hand you're out of your mind. What the hell? You bare your teeth but don't answer anything. Keep calm,J. C.,keep calm.

You swallow what’s supposed to be a breakfast and your protests, pack your stuff and on the road again. It takes you a solid hour to attain the said cliff and once here you're stopped by the breathtaking view of the region.

A wow escapes you as you try to take a better view of the panorama.

“I regret I don’t have my imager to take a picture.” You say.

“Interesting to hear.” Thrawn slides beside you.

“Yes, I take a lot of…” You stop mid sentence “I will never let you see my collection.”

“Why not?” He asks genuinely surprised.

“You will psychoanalyze me over my dead body.”

“I did not have ulterior motives.” He simply responds.

You shake your head as you approach the edge. A fall would be extremely brutal at this height, surely some broken bones and if you're unlucky a broken spine you estimate.

You walk back to the group who’s taking out the climbing gear.

“Who’s going first ?” Ask Eli, leaning slightly to the edge of the void.

“I will.” You decide.

You drop your pack off the cliff and take the rope and the grip to start your descent carefully, one step after the other, trying your best not looking down. The stone is sharp and scorching hot, slashing the palms of your hands. You clench your jaw and push down. You plant the grip and pass the rope through it, checking if it’s secure and continue down below. You breathe out counting in your head to forget the height below you until your feet touch the ground and you can breathe correctly once more. You wipe your sweat off of your forehead and signify to the group that they could come down too.

Cosblo goes first, you hold the rope letting it slide as he descends. It went smoothly, and he reached the ground without problems.

“I will signal the next one, survey the surroundings.” He tells you.

You take your gun off your back and observe the vicinity, concentrating on sounds and visual cues. An animal flees in the bosques with a rustling sound but you don’t locate anything else.

You hear a thud and a cry of pain.

You go back running and find Eli on the ground holding his leg with Cosblo kneeled next to him.

“What happened?!” You shout.

Eli grimaces in pain, unable to respond. Cosblo begins to give way to panic.

“I… I don’t know. I was holding the rope then something hit my head and…”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“You dropped him?!” You fume.

Cosblo doesn't respond, looking everywhere frantically like a solution was under a random rock. Eli tries to spread his legs and lets out a whine of pain from his mouth. You kneel next to him to support him.

You knew you couldn’t trust this guy! He took it at the first occasion he got and now Eli is hurt with a cracked bone or worse. You feel rage growing in you.

Thrawn appears next to you out of fine air.

“What happened?” He asks way calmer than you.

“Cosblo dropped Eli!” You spit.

“Something hit my head!” He pleads.

“Bullshit!”

“Quiet, both of you!” Thrawn cuts off.

He helps Eli take off his boot to observe his leg, he wrinkles his nose as it’s already starting to swell. Eli winces as he manipulates his limb.

“He will need bacta treatment and perhaps a splint.” He diagnoses.

“What?” Eli is incredulous.

You look daggers at Cosblo who’s defeated, you don’t buy his little scheme even if he plays it well. You put your hand on Eli’s shoulder in a recomforting gesture.

“That’s your fault Jamwest!”

“I told you something hit me. Someone is here looking at us right this moment!” He says with a rock in his hand.

Thrawn raises his hand to shush everyone.

“Silence! What is done, is done. Now-”

He stops and fixes a point behind him. He quickly turns back.

“Help him on his feet.” He orders, “We need to move.”

You and Cosblo put your arms under Eli's shoulder and rise like one man. You follow Thrawn laboriously in the tall grass and bushes, adrenaline through your veins, until he stops with his fist in the air. He listens and points to a small cavern well hidden under the vegetation.

You crawl inside with Eli and Cosblo as Thrawn walks out the trail and starts climbing an enormous tree on the other side. You all wait in complete silence, barely daring to breathe, that something happens. Finally, after a minute, you can hear the sound of a little group emerging from where you come from.

“They went that way.” One whispers,“Let's go!”

You squint as a dispatched group appears behind the foliage, with great strides.They are five. The first one waves at the others to advance, their rifles in hand. They are clearly on the hunt.

One stops a little ahead of Thrawn, they are sandwiched between you. He flattens himself against the wood and points you as he takes out his gun. You frown, what does he mean?

“Are you sure you didn’t lose them? We can’t see them anymore.”

You suddenly remember you have the sniper rifle, you detach it off your bag and posture yourself. You will need to be quick, you don’t know what kind of sound it will produce.

You inhale and exhale several times, emptying your head and aim.

One loud clack echoes in the jungle and one person collapses. You don’t take the time to savor your victory and pass to the next. Alerted, they all stopped and regrouped with their weapons drowned, ready to shoot anything in sight. Impossible to have a clear shot with all this movement.

“They’re here! Regroup! Regroup!”

Back to back they form a circle to cover every possible direction, they well learned their lessons. You choose your next victim in this commotion and aim. She flashes red and collapses before you could pull the trigger, Thrawn was more rapid than you on this one.

“They are dispatched! Search!”

Thrawn takes a second one, but betrays his position by doing so.

“Up! They’re in the-” You shoot this one up. Silence!

The last one realizes he is alone and starts searching frantically, spinning again and again. You put him out of his misery with a well placed shoot in the chip. All his body turns red and he falls down silently.

You sigh with relief, not bad for a first encounter. You crawl back out and help Eli as Thrawn already starts to investigate their package without regard for one adversary whining right next to him.

“Bastards! You-”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” You shoot her in the chip too. She makes a strangled noise and blacks out.

“That was uncalled for…” Cosblo starts, supporting Eli.

“Shut the fuck up Jamwest Cosbblo.” You articulate every word. “You’re not in any position to comment on my behavior.” You slide the cannon of your rifle towards his chest. The ire you felt was far from down.

He stares at you wide-eyed, taken aback.

“I have found the cylinder.” Thrawn notes on a conversational tone.

You turn your head, approaching him, or rather moving away from Cosblo. He had already taken out the datapad to plug it.

“Is it the B team?” You ask over his shoulder.

“No, but I am curious about that data.” He starts to analyze.

It takes a minute once again and the results appear on the screen.

“So?” You try to unclench your jaw.

“It is just auto generated text and numbers.” He pouts. His shoulders seem to lower a bit.

“Perfect! Are we going?” You ask with a false enthusiasm.

You don’t wait for any answer and start walking straight forward.

A deeply irritating calm voice stops you on your tracks.

“Cadet (y/f/n), it is useless to go this fast. We have a wounded comrade on our arms.”

“I’m not a dead weight either.” Eli speaks, a bit annoyed.

You take a deep breath through your nose.

“Sure. How insensitive of me.”

And you go back.

The group walk in silence, safe for an occasional whine of pain from Eli and the encouraging words from Thrawn. You lead them with angry steps, well ahead, ruminating on what happened, playing the scene again and again. Imagining Cosblo letting go of the rope and letting Eli fall from this height. That bastard. You couldn't believe it, but here you are.

You try to calm down, but you know that once you started it, it takes you time to go down again. You hear Cosblo whispering to Eli.

“Your girlfriend has some serious anger issues, dude.” You swear you’re gonna punch this guy.

You choose a plateau covered by foliage to drop your bag and let Eli rest. They sat him down on a rock while you're circling aimlesslyl, trying to put your mind at ease. But to no avail. Everything gets on your nerves at this moment, the precarious situation, the pained expression of Cosblo, the whines of pain of Eli, the orders of Thrawn, the heat, the trial…

You need to isolate yourself.

To clear your mind.

You put your rifle on your back and start walking again in a random direction.

You hear Thrawn calling you back but you choose to ignore it, going deeper in the unfamiliar jungle. The more distant the better.

He calls you once more and you accelerate. What do you need to do to get one minute of tranquility?

You hear steps behind you, you start to run.

The steps go after you. You hear your name again.

You run without thinking right in front of you, blinded by anger and frustration. You hear them getting closer but you don’t slow down.

You reach a large clearing and you stop to catch your breath. The steps stop and you're greeted with an icy cold voice.

“Cadet (y/n) (y/l/n)!”

You frown. You’re in no mood to take the beat without shouting back.

“Sir, I assure you this is not the right time.”

“Cadet, you will come back to the camp right this instant.”

You turn to face him.

“No.”

“No?” He squints.

“No.” You insist

“I am your Lieutenant and you will follow my orders.” He detaches every single word.

This is the only language he understands, the hierarchy.

“Oh really? I thought we were comrades earlier?” You frown.

“This trial doesn’t erase the hierarchy.”

You snarl.

“We’ll see that. If I’m really insubordinate as you claim, then the instructor would surely have struck me down by now.”

It’s his turn to frown.

“Perhaps.” His voice is warmer but the menace is undoubtedly here. “But you’re making a mistake.”

He takes one step towards you like a predator, by reflex you draw your weapon. His eyes widened an instant but went back to his imperturbable mask of stoicism just as quick. You blink, torn between anger and a growing fear, but you muffle this last one. You’re really flirting with the red line.

“Cadet…” He warns “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

“If I’ve learned anything about you, it's that you like to play this game yourself.” You retort. “You wanna bet who’s gonna win this round?”

You draw your rifle closer to your face, aiming at his chest. He surely thinks you’re bluffing but you’re dead serious. You know you can be a real hazard when you’re pushed to your limit, that’s why you wanted some space to calm yourself in the first place but he doesn’t facilitate the task.

He takes one more step.

You shoot between his feet.

A loud clack rings in the clearing. Some birds fly away. You look at each other in silence. You feel yourself trembling with rage and tension.

He raises an open hand as an appeasing gesture.

“Cadet, let’s get back to the camp if you please.” The voice is soft but the tone is commanding.

You shake your head. You feel this weird tension from those three last months bubbling out to the surface and you’re afraid of the explosion.

“No. Listen, I just need some space to breathe, can you understand that?”

“I am afraid not, it would be playing in the hands of the adversary team.”

“The one we just beat?” You snigger.

“We may have just defeated them, but their initial plan is still unfolding at this very moment and it will be profitable to the others very soon.”

“What plan?” You’re losing patience.

“Creating dissension in the group by striking Cosblo.”

“Don’t tell me you believe this jackass?”

“I do.”

Once again you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“I asked you to be a reasonable person, you remember? Eli is mature enough to not let it get to him, I trust you can do the same, cadet.” He is trying the diplomacy tactic now.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but not at the moment! Taking the risk to repeat myself but I need-”

A clac rings in the clearing but none of you shooted.

You feel a burning sensation and compression on your side as you lower your gaze. You see red slowly spreading on your hip.

You’ve been hit.

You’ve been hit!

You freeze in disbelief, you don’t see Thrawn sprinting towards you and hitting you with all his weight.

“Dive!”

You hit the floor with such impact it forces the air out of your lungs. As you cough you hear people shouting and running towards you. You’ve got company!

But you don’t care. You barely register what’s happening.

You’ve been hit.

lt hurts.

There is so much red…

Blood.

You’re bleeding.

A breath gets caught in your throat as you go into panic. You’re bleeding!

“Bleeding… I’m bleeding!” You croak.

“Calm down cadet (y/l/n).” Thrawn’s voice barely reaches you.

“I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!”

You go into a frenzy, crying and clawing at your wound. You will bleed to death if you don’t receive treatment, maybe the corvette won’t be fast enough.

“Everything is okay Cadet! You are in shock...”

“I’m bleeding! I’m gonna die!”

You start crying, scratching your face, drawing blood, screeching.

Suddenly a pair of strong hands seize your shoulder and shake you one rough time.

“Cadet (y/n)!”

You look at Thrawn wide eyed and mouth agape, impossible to make a single sound as they all get stuck in your throat. Thrawn’s looking at you, jaw clenched and brows frown with an intense stare. You feel a tear rolling down your cheek as you try to speak but just open your mouth slightly more.

Thrawn visibly relaxes and his tone soothes as you stop screaming.

“Everything is good cadet, you are not wounded.”

A hiccup escapes you as you start sobbing.

He sighs and his hands pass behind your neck, bringing your head to his chest. The rhythmic sound of a steady heart reaches you and lulls you.

You're frozen in place, unmoving, eyes wide open and silent under the warm body of Thrawn. Eyes fixed on a point away, you’re pressed against his chest where you can hear his steady heartbeat and your heart could sing if only you were fully aware of your surroundings and not terrified at the same time. You start contemplating on how you ended up in this position…

You can feel him cradling you gently.

“Everything is fine. Nothing can reach you here.” He murmurs.

You blink slowly, starting to come back to your senses, still shaking with sobs. You realize you’re not in the clearing anymore but on your knees in a dark cavern only illuminated by luminescent mushrooms. How did you get here?

You take a deep breath to stop the hiccup and you pull apart from one another, you nod as a thank you and get back on your feet.

“Where are we?” You ask with a shaky voice.

“We are in a cavern as you can see.” He responds. “I managed to drag us here while you were in shock.”

You nod. You look around but don’t manage to find any daylight. How deep are you?

“The other team…?” You begin.

“Will not be a problem for now, but we should refrain from retracing our steps back.”

He wedges his gun on his back and takes out his comlink.

“Cadet Vanto, can you hear me?”

Static noises ring to give place to a relieved voice.

“Thrawn? Thank maker, I tried to join you several times! Is (y/n) with you?”

“She is. We ran into an ambush.”

“You’re okay?”

“Everything is fine, we escaped them through a network of caverns. It will take us a day to get out, we will need to regroup. Can you see a tall reddish tree?”

“A tall red tree… Yes!”

“We will come and meet you there in one day. Do not stay where you are, they must certainly scavenge in your zone.”

“Understood. Over.”

He puts back his comlink and invites you to walk deeper in this cavern. He explains as you look uncertain.

“There is a web of caverns but they all lead to the outside. I have studied them on the datapad earlier, I can guide us through it.”

You’re not even surprised anymore.

You nod once again and he takes the lead in those sinuous ways.

You walk in silence. With the fallout of earlier all your fear and anger has dropped, you just feel a nagging fatigue but you focus on the present moment. You travel side by side, helping each other with the different obstacles. It is especially difficult with your locked suit that hinders your movements in addition to being painful. But you manage to walk past it and your progress is relatively uneventful.

At some point Thrawn stops.

“No need to go further for now. Resting would be best, we should go back for the first hours.”

Without some real choice you stop and head towards those shiny mushrooms.

“We should test it first for poisoning.” You hear behind you.

“Ha yesh’, thatch a goo’ ideach.” You respond, the mouth already full of those goodies.

Oops.

He looks at you and shakes his head with a tired expression.

“Forget what I said.”

You swallow, discreetly, and shoot a smile. It’s really sour. Guess you will know if they're poisonous soon enough.

You gather some woodish plants that are sneaking around the wall of the cave and Thrawn starts the fire with a good old method: two stones.

You sit and look at him through the flames, contemplating your situation. It upsets you, but you owe him excuses, to the whole team.

“Thrawn I…”

His flaming gaze darts on you, letting you know you have his attention despite is mute behavior. You swallow your pride.

“... I’m… sorry… for what happened.”

He remains silent, inviting you to continue with one gesture of the hand. He really wants you to go all the way, huh?

“I shouldn’t have run this way and left the team vulnerable, but I was in a bad headspace and did what I thought was the right course of action. In insight, it was a terrible idea.”

You manage to finish. He slowly nods.

“I hear what you say, and I thank you for honesty.” He murmurs. “Can I ask you where those bursts of anger come from?”

You frown at him.

“From what I have seen… and comprehend, I suspect them to be the symptom of ptsd for your case. I was wondering if you had the chance to talk about it to someone.” He says, thoughtfully.

“I…” You commence, gathering your thoughts, wondering if you wanted to share this story.

Your gaze travels through the interior of the cavern, ending once again on the eyes of Thrawn. You’re enthralled by them, getting the courage to continue.

“I hate when we let each other down because… because when I was a child I…” You gulp, eyes fixated on your fidgeting hands. “I saw… one of my cousins got slain by a rival family. And we weren’t there to help him. We were hiding in the bushes with some of my siblings and cousins and we saw him get shot in the head by them.” Your lips tremble, you fight back tears.

“You were a child, you could hardly do anything else other than hiding.” He says softly.

You nod.

“Yes, it was logical. The only logical thing for a child to do.” Your voice breaks. “Only he was fourteen. We should have… we should have gone get an adult.” You feel a tear traveling down your cheek. “Do something…”

You wipe the tears with the back of your hand.

“You must take me for a hypocrite,” You smile without joy ”I say I hate when people let each other down and I did it the first chance I got.”

“I think we all grief our own ways, your own manifested in an unfortunate way today.” He states pensively.

You don’t respond, relieved that he doesn’t bury you with reproaches yet.

You rub your hands and expose them to the fire. This cave is freezing cold.

You slide yourself way closer to Thrawn.

“If I may, it’s to warm up.” You smile timidly.

He doesn't respond, letting you bring yourself closer to his warmer body and the fire.

You clear your throat, desperate for a conversation subject.

“But… I suppose… I mean I guess, you also had some terrible ideas in the past?” You try, murmuring too.

His gaze travels from you to the fire, contemplating his thoughts.

“I did.”

“No really? I wasn’t serious, what kind of terrible ideas a tactical genius like you can have?” You laugh, your eyes still moist.

“My brother died because of one of my plans.” He whispers.

Your laugh dies immediately.

“We were fighting pirates, and he met his demise in the crash of his ship under my commandment.” He said, his gaze fixated on the fire like the face of his brother was in it.

You’re struck by lightning, don’t know what to say. So you remain silent.

“Sometimes I wonder what if I had done things differently, would he still be here?”

“That is the best way to go mad, trust me. I did the same thing.”

“I know,” he breathes, “But the mind wanders without reason or guidance…”

Your mouth is dry, what could you possibly say to alleviate his pain? You clear your throat.

“Don’t dwell on the past, you should just… Be grateful to have known your brother.”

This is surely the cheesiest response possible, but you don’t have better for now. Comforting is not one of your fortes, much to your regret.

He doesn’t answer, nodding pensively still fixated on the fire.

Silence settles again.

You try something to lighten the atmosphere.

“You wanna know a secret?”

He looks at you, head resting on his hand.

“Cosblo and I, well… We’re exes.”

He frowns, staring at you head to toe, visibly surprised.

“You didn’t expect this one, didn’t you?’

“I must admit, I did not.” He looks like he’s trying to digest the info or to glue back two incompatible pieces.

“Well, not a lot of people are aware of that. It’s a secret we share and hide from the rest of the galaxy.”

You really want to pry on his love life but it might wake up some pain, and you figure you both had your dose for the night.

You continue.

“It dates back to high school, he reminded me of one of my star crushes that I saw on the posters of the Empire. It ended the day I tried to introduce him to my family, they didn’t try too hard to present like… “respectable” people and he ran away. He has given me a bad reputation since.”

“Without passing judgment, you seem to be doing just fine now.”

You frown, what does he mean?

You recall this morning conversation.

“Oh, you mean with… Eli?”

He blinks affirmatively.

“No!” You laugh in embarrassment. “No, no. Eli is a sweet guy, but he’s… I am… He’s not my type.” You try to explain “He’s like my little bro’ at the Academy.”

He pouts.

“A pity.”

“You are judging now.” You warn.

“My apologies.”

You continue to discuss this way until late in the night, about everything and nothing. Or rather you’re the one talking, Thrawn only nods or answers with evasive sentences, you thought he was a bit bored but he was always reactive in the discussion, his attention fully on you. But the opening of vulnerability you saw earlier is clearly sealed. And like that you fall asleep next to one another, searching each other’s body for warmth now that the fire had extinguished, and in spite of your suit that makes every possible position uncomfortable and a bit painful.

At some point a little regular sound gets you out of sleep, you blink trying to remember where you are and realize you were sleeping on Thrawn’s shoulder, his head resting on yours. You move away carefully not to wake him up, and you actually take the time to detail his resting face. The last time you got to see him sleeping you were tempted to kiss him. You berate yourself at the thought of this childish display of want. Now that you take the time to think about it, you would want nothing more than to embrace him with all your might and him embracing you back with enthusiasm, to hear his heartbeat again and feel his hand caressing your hair softly. You still want to kiss him you confess, oh gods you do, but this wish subside in front of the desire to make one with him, one heartbeat.

You gently trace the contours of his cheek with your finger, dreaming your fantasies while admitting to yourself, finally, that you were falling in love.

The regular sound gets you back to reality and you realize it’s your comlink once again. You rise up on your feet and move away to another chamber for privacy. You open the transmission and a screeching sound with static assaults your ears. You flinch, it’s terribly disagreeable. But you can still hear a discordant voice in this cacophony, a voice that you guess is of one of your cousins in “the business”, but impossible to say which one. The audio is horrifyingly chopped, but you manage to take out some words.

“Hello?”

“... hear me…”

“What? I can barely hear you.”

“... careful… … new meat… market… … governing…”

And it cuts.

What?

You don’t understand.

You gather your thoughts, trying to make the most of it. Apparently there is a new “product” on the black market, but “new meat”? You don’t get it.

And why warn you? You’re no more part of the business of your family. It doesn’t make sense.

Lost in your thought you don’t hear Thrawn walking away from your hiding place. You decide you will have the mind clearer once in the morning and get back in the chamber where you left Thrawn. You found him in the same position as you left him. You smile interiorly, placing yourself back, your head on his shoulder. You deeply inhale his scent, and close your eyes.

The morning comes way too quickly to your taste, waking up is proven difficult and the prospect of breakfast with those mushrooms doesn’t help. You eat reluctantly and go back on the road soon after.

Once again you progress uneventfully. Until you found something at a turning point.

“What the…?” You start.

You open your eyes wide at the sight of a 74-Z speeder bike laying there.

“What is it doing here?”

“They mentioned vehicles if I recall. They must have scattered them through the region for the teams to find.” He supposes.

“Wonderful! We can join Eli and Jamwest way faster now!” You cheered, jumping right on the seat.

You work the gear but nothing happens.

“It doesn't work.” You lament disappointedly.

Thrawn kneels next to the speeder, eyeballing the transport.

“I see. It is a test to evaluate our mechanics abilities.”

You sigh, not another test. Can nothing work like it is supposed to just for once? You get off the speeder and kneel in front of Thrawn.

“Alright, so what do we got?”

“Hold this.”

It takes you two hours with bare hands to work on the bike, a lot of things were plugged and turned and your skin was pinched to blood more than once, but finally, after several fruitless tries you turn the gear and a rumble echoes between the stone walls of the cavern.

You can’t refrain from a cry of joy.

“Hell yeah! Give me five!”

But Thrawn just squints at you with a confused expression.

“Here, that’s how you do it!”

You take his arm and top his hand with yours with a broad smile. He looks at his hand with a raised eyebrow but doesn’t comment anything.

Sometimes humans really puzzle him.

He takes place in the driver seat and you take place behind him, a little disappointed to not drive, but you soon forget it as you get to take him in your arms. You press yourself gleefully against his broad back, your cheek resting against his warm body. His scent fills up your nose again, and you breathe it joyously.

He makes the motor roar.

“Hang on!”

No need to tell you twice.

You flinch as he starts the engine and picks up speed instantly. You see the walls pass before your eyes at high speed as you fly like the wind. The road is uneven and bumpy, forcing you to snuggle yourself against him tighter, it’s a good excuse and you take full advantage of it, feeling your heart beat faster against him. Flying like that makes you feel like you weigh like a feather and everything is lighter. You feel your ponytail flowing behind you, even your suit seems to less compress you.

Soon you can catch sight of sunshine.

The exit. Finally

You burst out of the cave at full speed, it takes off the ground and you yelp in surprise. You drift on the tall grass and almost plummet off the bike but you’re holding on.

His driving is clearly not the most agile you got to see but it does the job, you close your eyes as low branches come scratch your face. At this moment a shadow passes between the trees next to you. You blink. Did you really see that? You squint and focus. But you see noth- Here! It disappears as quickly it appeared, but you clearly see it this time!

“Thrawn!”

“I know. They are just behind us.”

You hear them more than you see them now, but you’re unmistakably followed by other bikers. You come out on a plateau without forest and three rivals appear behind you with the urge to fight. You gulp at their expressions, they are determined and seem prone to violence.

They’re riding a 74-Z similar to yours, at the difference that they’re faster. You clench your jaw as you realize that you’re technically a dead weight behind Thrawn and you slow him down considerably.

Despite that you feel him accelerate and start zigzagging between the trees and the boulders, they follow without too much difficulty, and get some terrain over you. You hear them laugh as they harass you.

“They are still following us!” You shout over the noise.

He tacks fully to the right, almost throwing you out off the bike, and rushes into a trench. You‘re taken off your seat for seconds until the hard landing, you bang your head against his back.

They’re right on you but are limited by the width of the trench at least.

You shot a glare behind you.

“Dive!” Thrawn warns.

You have just the time to hunch, you pass under a massive trunk. You feel the drought as it grazes your hair. The second pursuer didn’t see it tough and you hear a dull sound as he rushes into it at full speed. You feel for him on this one, he will be very lucky if he doesn’t have the jaw broken.

“Shit!” You hear his teammate swear.

The nice side effect is that his fall slowed down the third one dramatically, the less nice side effect is that the first one is still on your heels and she’s really, really angry now.

She extends her hand, trying to grasp your ponytail. You sweep it away with a large gesture of the arm, throwing both of you off balance. Thrawn rectifies the best he could, but the weight doesn’t help. You emerge from the trench into a plateau in a cacophony of noisy engines and bended sheets of metal.

“Come back here freak! I know you have it!” She screams.

Anger rises at this nickname, you suddenly really want to punch her in the face. Well, you can’t, but you just thought about something almost as satisfying.

“Keep a straight line and let her get closer.” You enjoin Thrawn.

He complies and you see her smile enlarging as she gets on you.

“You’re about to get what you truly deserve, blueface!” She yells.

She acts like she already won. Good, she will be less cautious. You wait for her to get next to you and in a smooth motion you pivot on your seat and jump off.

You land off behind her. You didn’t hit her with your knee as you wanted, but that’s okay. You pick up your gun from your back and slide it under her throat while she tries to maintain the balance of the vehicle, you violently bring your arms back and pull her off the controls, she lets a strangled noise escape her as she tries to ease the pressure on her throat. You spin and let her fall almost carelessly. You look at her rolling in the dirt with a satisfied grin.

You dive onward and take control of the handlebars before you collide with something.

“Two for the price of one!” You shout gleefully to Thrawn.

He nods and slows down at the limit where the jungle starts again, you both stop and look behind. Away you see the third one, stopped too, looking back at you like he is trying to make a decision. You give him a dark look, fully prepared to bring it on if he’s starting again. He stares at you both and turns, retracing his steps towards his fallen comrades.

You observe him pick up the girl when Thrawn speaks.

“It appears I have made a miscalculation.”

You turn back to him in surprise.

“I’m sorry?”

He reaches into his pocket and takes out the cylinders.

“I wanted to take care of it because I am confident in my abilities, but it appears in insight that as the odd one out, I am an obvious target.”

He holds out the cylinder to you. You look without understanding.

“They expect me to have it, we should contradict those expectations.”

You nod, taking the cylinder and putting it in your pocket.

“Let’s go.” Thrawn simply says.

You follow, with the engines at the bare minimum to minimize the noise and you travel for an hour in silence, until you finally see the red tree Thrawn talked about. At last.

Tree grants you shadows but, once again, the temperature is merciless. You raise your hand to shield your eyes and see Eli waving at you. He looks already in a better state than when you left him. You feel a pinch of guilt at his smile.

“What do you got there?” He asks.

“Two brand new 74-Z speeder bike.” You announce proudly.

“I can see that, but where do they come from?”

Thrawn explains to Eli all of the situation while you look over his shoulder. Cosblo stands slightly set back with a closed expression. You both cross-eyes. You offer a contrite smile. He nods.

“What happened (y/n)?” Eli finally asks.

You sigh and decide to put all your cards on the table.

“I needed some time alone to take stock of the situation and I put the team at risk by my sole selfishness. I want to say I’m sorry.”

Eli put his arm around your shoulder.

“And you’re pardoned. Don’t cause us another fright like that again.”

You laugh alongside one another.

“But tell me, you’re radiant. How’s your leg?”

He stretches it in front of you. It got a splint.

“Brand new like your bike! Jamwest did the splint.” They use each other’s name now?

“Did you know he got medical skills thanks to his mother who is an apothecary?”

Yeah, it reminds you of something.

“Now that you're here, we got good news.” Cosblo announces.

Everyone turns towards him.

“We’ve located the B team.”

@bluechiss

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn x y/n #thrawn x you #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #jaw crusher #fanfic #vibratingskull

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kenjiro-kun · 1 year

Text

Why?

Character: Mikasa Ackerman (AOT)

Theme: Slight Angst

Warning: Typical Violence/Near Death

Words: 698

Reader: Female

POV: Second

Summary: Reader gets injured and almost lets life go, but Mikasa always finds a way.

---

Fire. It was all around you, the smoke, the feeling of the flames close, almost touching your skin. You were disoriented, your mind was blank, and your eyes didn't blink. On your back, arms straight out, the deafening ringing in your ears. As if you were finally given a chance to rest, you closed your eyes falling deep in the void no-one could describe. Until the ground shook under your body, the Earth quaking, but then it became faster. The Earth groaned, croaked, and felt as if it may crack into two.

It was a Titan. It was being chased down by troops, but you were too far gone to care about the things around you. You sang in your head, smiling subconsciously.

. . .I'll see you there.

You were awaken into reality by someone pulling you onto your feet, but soon you were on their shoulders. You took noitce of their hair and knew it was the Mikasa Ackermen, your friend from the training days.

"This is no place to die," She said. "I'm not letting you go."

You took notice of her nervous tone, and soon you knew why. All the adrenaline ran out, and the feeling off agonizing pain ran through you. You tighten your grip on the raven haired girl. Your breathing became rapid, and you blacked out.

---

You woke up.

"Good, you're awake!" Hange said.

You looked at her, forcing a bitter smile. You looked down at yourself and noitced your leg wasn't present. It was severed, and you don't remember how, but that was for the best.

"For something that looked bad," Hange went over to you. "Wasn't too hard to take care of."

You clenched your teeth. "What's the point in saving me when I can't contribute anymore?"

Hange shrugged. "I didn't find you."

You cocked an eyebrow. "Then who?"

"Mikasa did, L/N." Levi entered.

"Levi!" Hange exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing that concerns you, four eyes," He turned to you. "I may have good news for you. Since Mikasa did save you from death, you were brought in without a leg, which makes you a liability on the field. Although you aren't useless."

You smiled. "So that means I'm able to do something?"

"Yes." He answered. "You can help on small things around the places we will be traveling to, such as servicing thr citizens and many other work I will instruct you on doing when the time comes."

"Yes, sir."

He walked away.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Hange ran over to her desk. She held out a woodend leg. "I haven't finished yet, but I thought you would like to walk around with using a stick.

"Thanks, Hange." You groaned. "Where is Mikasa?"

"No clue," She frowned with you. "She was very panicked, never seen her like that before."

"I. . .I guess."

It was a week since your injury, and Mikasa never went to see you. You were walking with a slight limp, but it was better than a walking stick. You walked out on the lawn, and saw Mikasa training by herself.

"Hello," You walked over to her. "Mikasa? I finally found you! I wanted to thank you for saving my life--" She stopped, and grabbed the collar of your uniform. "Mikasa?!"

"Why?" She looked right into your eyes. "Why did you just lay there?"

You looked at her surprised. "Huh?"

She clenched her mouth, and shoved you to the ground. "Why did you just give up on yourself?"

You frowned. "I. . .I don't know."

"You don't know?!" She shouted.

She pushed you to the ground, pinning your arms. "Do you know how many of us care for you, Y/N!"

Your eyes widened. "W-what?" You felt tears fall on your face. "Are you crying?"

She shoulders heaved. "You idiot. I care for you, Y/N."

"Mikasa?" She hugged you into her embrace. "I'm here now, Mikasa. Don't cry okay. I'm sorry."

"I love you Y/N."

Your world stop. "You-- love me?"

She kissed you, hard. "Yes."

"I'm . .so happy to hear that."

"Good," She smiled.

#mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa x you #mikasa aot #mikasa ackerman #aot x female reader #snk mikasa #mikasa ackerman x fem reader #mikasa ackerman x female reader

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scarletttries · 1 year

Text

You Are In Love (Eddie Munson x Reader series)

Part Thirteen: You're In Love, True Love

Pairing: Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) x F! Reader

Tags: References to the horrors of Stranger Things and the upside down, and nightmares had too.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author's Note: This is the thirteenth and final part of my Eddie Munson series inspired by Taylor Swift's "You Are In Love". Thank you so much to everyone who's been following the series, it's so bittersweet that this is the final chapter because it has been so lovely to write this and interact with you all! Links for all the other parts are in my Eddie Munson Masterlist, along with all my other Eddie fics in case you will now have a void in your life for Eddie content 😊 As always please feel free to send me thoughts and headcanons for Eddie Munson, especially as soon I'll be back to writing one shots for him <3 And if you need another Swiftie Eddie Munson fic to get you through after this, I highly recommend probably my favourite Eddie Munson fic ever Begin Again by @pullhisteeth-archive 💕

Gif credit to @vigilanteshit 🥰

Cause you can hear in the silence,

You could feel yourself twisting the rings on your fingers over and over again as the lights sunk down low, a wild cheer rising up from the tables around you in response.

"Do you think you'll ever not be nervous at these things?" Robin teased, tongue haphazardly chasing the thin straw doing laps around the edge of her glass.

"Never. That's why he's the rockstar." You laughed in response as the band stepped out on stage, excited chants of 'Corroded Coffin' filling the small room as spotlights flooded the stage, your own voice joining the chorus eagerly.

"And you're just the very lucky groupie that gets to take him home at the end of the night." Robin's shoulder bumped into yours as she threw her hands in the air with a scream just as the rest of the crowd quietened down, loud enough that you could see a smile crack across Eddie's face as he stepped up to the microphone.

"Thank you so much for that very warm welcome. We are Corroded Coffin." He paused as another cheer echoed through the hall, glancing behind him in disbelief to check his friends were hearing just as much support as he was. "And if it's okay with you, tonight we're going to start with a love song. For someone who knows exactly who they are."

No matter how many times you'd seen the band play since they got out of Hawkins and found a city that actually had a scene for them, you'd never get used to this: The moment of quiet before it all kicked off where Eddie would always find you in the crowd, giving you a soft look that even managed to make him blush, and made sure even in the silence you knew that every sound he made was for you.

As the drumsticks started to tap behind him he finally forced his eyes away from you and to the rest of the audience, masterfully picking up the beat with his guitar and launching into what had fast become one of the band's local hits. It wasn't hard to notice him sneaking looks throughout the set, gaze skimming between dancing bodies as the electric atmosphere seemed to infect everyone listening. Robin quickly found herself up on the table dancing, even convincing you to get to your feet by the time came for the encore demand for another song. The band happily obliged, the difference in their start in Hawkins to the enthusiasm of the crowd tonight enough to make them reluctant to ever step off the little bar's stage, even as the lights rose back up and the crowd began to thin.

Manhandling Robin more than a little to get her safely off the table and back onto solid ground, putting on quite the spectacle for the remaining bar patrons, you dragged her over to the front of the stage where the boys were unplugging instruments and signing setlists for brand new fans.

"(Y/n) (Y/l/n)! What are you doing here!?" Gareth bellowed, hopping off the stage and pulling you into a hug, never one to miss the chance to remind Eddie of his disbelief.

"Oh you know, Eddie still needs to keep up appearances as long as you're around." You teased as the man in question excused himself from a nearby group of fans, draping an arm across your shoulder and landing a kiss against your cheek.

"Yeah, this ruse is starting to get kind of elaborate." He sighed in defeat, letting his hand find yours, twisting the delicate ring on your left hand happily, a habit he'd picked up subconsciously since you started wearing it about a year ago.

"You guys were amazing tonight!" Robin cheered loudly, the beaming smiles on each of their faces not going unnoticed for a moment.

"Seriously! And the crowd loved it." You added, smile full of pride as you pulled Eddie close, his lips settling on yours much to the disappointment of a few of his onlooking new fans. You leaned into him, letting him consume you, the joy and excitement radiating off him as his tongue brushed against yours.

"Ugh, whatever he's paying you (Y/n), it's not enough for that." Gareth mocked, letting Robin lead him back to your table, knowing the two of you might be a while.

You can feel it on the way home,

You turned the radio dial all the way down as you concentrated on the street signs around you, reciting the directions to yourself as you slowly weaved through the city traffic until it began to thin into residential streets. You'd only been in your new job five days, every day this week having to walk yourself through the directions after insisting Eddie didn't need to drive you to and from work despite, as he was so keen to remind you, that worked out pretty well for him in high school. It was a big adjustment, even just spending this time apart, both a little unsettled in the place you were trying to make your new home, finding somewhere that had everything you loved about Hawkins (except the most important people) but also made up for all the things it lacked for you both. You could feel your insides buzzing with excitement as you took the penultimate turning in your winding little route, the knowledge you had a weekend in your new place with Eddie spreading a smile across your cheeks before you could even see the familiar little house.

As you twisted the key and heard it click, the pounding of drums and guitars quickly filled the air, a Black Sabbath record spinning in the cosy living room, your own metalhead dancing along behind the kitchen counter.

"You're home!" He cried out happily the second your movement caught his eye, abandoning the box he'd been unpacking and sprinting over to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug like it had been a lot longer than eight hours since you'd stepped out that same door. "Did you have a good day?" He asked loudly, still clutching you close, breathing you in as you nodded happily against his chest.

"Yeah it was good, I think I'm gonna like it there." You chirped happily, optimistic for the future you and Eddie were building here together. "But I'm much happier to be home with you for the next few days." You added, withdrawing just enough to land a kiss on his cheek, wrinkled by his proud smile as he took your coat and wondered how he'd got lucky enough to finally experience the joy of someone coming home to him. "How was your day Eddie?" At your question he gripped your hand excitedly, pulling you with him as he gave you a tour of his productive day of home-making,

"It was great sweetheart, I've now unpacked all our records." He showed off the little stack of them under the record player with a flourish of his arm, turning the volume dial down slightly to continue his description,

"And I finally got our phone working, so I called Wayne to let him know and he talked me through how to make his famous Munson casserole, which is now in the oven." You took a deep inhale of the air and let the homely aroma fill your senses, letting out an impressed hum as he spoke."And, it's a good thing I fixed our phone because that record store I talked to yesterday called back to say I could start work on Monday!" He lifted you in the air as you let out an excited squeal, knowing just how much this meant to him.

"Congratulations gorgeous, that's amazing! I told you they'd love you, and I would know, i'm kind of the expert in loving you." You praised, cupping his cheeks between your palms and peppering his blushing face in celebratory kisses.

"I couldn't have done it without you." He replied proudly, excitedly talking you through the phone call and all the details of the little shop he couldn't wait for. "And the owner said if I like live music, then the bar next door is always putting on gigs for local bands looking to get started, and he knows the promoter. So I figured maybe tomorrow night, me and you could go check it out, see if it seems like somewhere we might like?" He asked smoothly, cut off by you voicing the thought in his head lingering doubt wouldn't let him say aloud.

"And see if it's somewhere Corroded Coffin could play! That would be perfect." The bright look in your eyes as you spoke filled Eddie with confidence he tried to downplay,

"I don't want to get ahead of myself..." You pressed your lips to his, silencing his self-doubt before correcting him,

"You have so many amazing things ahead of you. And thank you for doing so much here today." You pulled him tightly back into a hug, feeling him relax into your arms happily before a beeping timer in the kitchen jolted him upright. Glancing down at the same plastic watch he'd been wearing in high school Eddie frowned, dancing around the kitchen counter and staring at the chiming oven in confusion.

"That's not supposed to be beeping yet...umm, why don't you make yourself comfortable while I roll for initiative against our oven? I unpacked your favourites..." You heard his voice trail off as he crouched to eye level with his foe, maneuvering yourself carefully between stacks of boxes yet to be unpacked to squeeze into your bedroom, the door only opening just enough as duffel bags of clothes lay stacked behind it. The double bed that took up most the room was only half-made, Eddie putting in the effort to fold back your side only, and lay out two familiar items: the same checkered boxer shorts and loose black band tee he'd let you borrow, then steal, the first time he'd ever leant you his clothes.

As you slipped into the familiar outfit and perched yourself on the sofa, watching Eddie flick through the notes he'd made on the phone to his uncle, two mismatched carnival bears sat against the armrest beside you, you couldn't help but think maybe you'd found a new favourite definition for the word 'home'.

You can see it with the lights out,

He wasn't sure if it was the burning pain in his side, or the strangled cry clawing its way out of his throat that had woken him first from the latest installment of his ongoing upside down themed nightmares. Bolting upright he could feel his lungs burning, struggling to gulp down enough breath as the dark shadows around him seemed to dance in the shape of those awful twisted bats that haunted him. He looked around in desperation, not sure whether he had reached safety yet, clutching his side as if to protect himself from a deeper wound as his body trembled against your shared sheets.

You recognised the feeling and flicked your lamp on before your brain really woke up enough to put any words to the action. Eddie's dark eyes darted to you as he shivered, watching you rise up onto your knees, settling directly in front of him and starting to speak softly,

"Edward Munson, you are safe." You brought your arms around his waist, starting to work gentle circles into his lower back in time with your calm, melodic voice, "You are out of Hawkins. You are not in the upside down." Your soothing massage drifted up his broad back as you spoke, eyes locked intensely with his. "You graduated. It's now 1988." Your thumbs kneaded the tender flesh of his shoulders as your hands lifted higher, before easing gently up his neck, feeling the tension melt away as stillness settled over his body.

"You are in our home, with the little black front door we did a pretty good job of painting ourselves." A small smile cracked across his face, letting a single tear spill from his eye as you brushed your thumbs over his cheeks, before sweeping them across his forehead, smoothing the deep valleys furrowed there. "You are in our bedroom, in our bed, with me." Combing the hair out of his face with your fingers you leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose before concluding, "You are safe, and everything is okay." Eddie let himself take one full breath, his nervous tension melting away with every reassuring word until finally he pulled you tightly against his chest, forehead resting on yours as the words spilled like a prayer into the dark night air filling the room, "I love you."

You are in love, true love. You are in love.

"Crap!" The shout rang out down the hall as Eddie tugged the sleeve of his coat from where it sat hooked on the bedroom door, watching as the glistening button burst free of the fabric and tumbled to the ground, rolling across the floor until it came to rest by your foot. You glanced up from your hunched over position on the rug, frantically filling out the final few Christmas cards before the long drive back to Hawkins for the holidays, picking up the golden circle carefully and catching Eddie's eye as you shared the same sentimental smile.

"Think you could help me with that? For old times sake?" Eddie asked softly, dropping the packed bags in his hands, and rummaging in a kitchen draw until he found the small sewing kit you'd kept since your cheerleading days.

"I don't know, I seem to remember getting in a lot of trouble the last time I fixed your coat." You teased with a knowing gleam in your eye, patting the floor beside you as you shifted a small pile of wrapped boxes out of the way.

"Yeah, but it worked out pretty well in the end, wouldn't you say?" He quizzed happily, sitting as close to you as humanly possible as he placed his arm and the damaged cuff carefully in your lap, wishing he could tell his younger self this was where he'd end up one day. You sat in thoughtful silence for a moment as you began to add a few familiar stitches before glancing back up at Eddie, who looked down at you like he couldn't picture a happier circumstance to find himself in.

"It worked out perfectly." You replied sincerely, letting him steal a quick, warm kiss before turning your attention to the button below, suddenly sure that you knew from the first moment you weaved the first thread through this coat all those years ago, that you were in love. True love.

---

You Are In Love taglist:

@lacrymosa-24 @aftermidnightwriting @fluttergirl1202 @tayhar811 @souls-rain @neewtmas @kimmi-kat @wintrrrsoldier @dylanmunson @sidthedollface2

@eddiemunson95 @mistiatmosphere @singularattitudeofasafetypin @omgsquee2001

#writing #fanfiction #requests #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #stranger things 4 #stranger things requests #you are in love #eddie x you #scarlettschristmaslist

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