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#someday someones gonna ask whats the deal. someones gonna ask the meaning of it all
bmpmp3 · 1 year
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if you want to get really inexplicably good at drawing very specific flowers MAKE some ocs with various flower symbolism and motifs
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suzukiblu · 6 months
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Hey kids, I've got some more "Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good!" behind this here read-more. You know, if that's a thing you're into. 👀
“I don’t know what names are good,” Superboy says finally, his voice stiff. “Or sound good. I never even heard music before Kid Flash was–I just don’t know what sounds are good. Or whatever.” 
“It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘good’,” Billy says, wondering why Superboy cares so much about his name “sounding” good and also why Cadmus is apparently the worst. They never even played music for him? What, at all? He makes an immediate mental note to figure out how to set up the wireless speakers Batman had delivered and, like, Spotify or something. “You just have to like it.” 
“Oh,” Superboy says, just barely frowning again. “Are you . . . sure?” 
“Yeah,” Billy says firmly. “I’m definitely sure.” 
“Oh,” Superboy says again, then looks down at his feet. Billy feels bad for him and is going to set up like, a million different playlists the first chance he gets. Just like a lot of different stuff, so Superboy can figure out what he likes.
“Do you still want suggestions?” he asks. “I promise I won’t pick anything that sounds bad.” 
“. . . fine,” Superboy says, still looking at his feet. It’s not a resounding “yes” or anything, but it’s no a “no”, Billy’s pretty sure, and he does want to help Superboy pick a good name, so . . . it’s probably okay to try again, he thinks. 
“Okay,” he says, trying to think of something really good and not just random stuff this time. Like–names are important, and Superboy obviously cares about what other people are gonna think of what he picks, so . . . 
Superboy keeps not looking at him. Billy tries not to worry about it. Maybe Superboy just doesn’t like looking at people at all. He didn’t make eye contact with Kid Flash’s parents while they were here either, and barely even with Kid Flash. Which makes sense, he guesses, because why would someone used to telepathic communication really feel a need to look at anyone’s face? Superboy probably doesn’t have the . . . instinct, or whatever. 
Well, it’s fine if he doesn’t, Billy figures. Either he’ll learn it or he’ll just not like it either way, and neither of those options are a big deal or anything. The name thing and coming up with rules and stuff and helping Superboy feel comfortable are way more important right now. 
"Um . . . actually, my mom's name was Marilyn," Billy suggests a little shyly as an old idea occurs to him. It’s been a while since he really thought about it, honestly, but . . . "So you could be 'Lynn', maybe? If that's not too weird? I used to think that if I ever had a kid I'd name them after my mom, 'cuz my dad's name was Clarence and that's pretty old-fashioned, though I guess if you were a girl you could've just been 'Claire', so . . . well, maybe Clarence could be your middle name, actually? If you like it, I mean." 
Superboy . . . pauses. Frowns at the floor. 
"Why would you name me that?" he asks skeptically. "You might have an actual kid someday and want to use it for them." 
"I have an actual kid right now," Billy says reasonably. "Why wouldn't I use it for you?" 
Superboy sits very, very still, and doesn't say anything. Billy starts worrying that maybe that was weird or too much and maybe he's already the worst dad ever and maybe now Superboy thinks he's weird and too much and the worst dad ever and is just gonna get up and go straight back to Kid Flash's house and never even talk to him again or–
"I count as an actual kid to you?" Superboy asks, his voice completely neutral. 
Oh, Billy realizes. 
Man, he's dumb sometimes. 
"Yeah," he says firmly. "You definitely count." 
". . . okay," Superboy says, looking at the wall. "'Lynn' works." 
"Awesome," Billy says, smiling at him as wide as he thinks he can get away with. He doesn't want to look fake or like he's trying too hard or to be overwhelming or anything like that. He just wants to make it obvious that he's happy right now. "Nice to meet you, Lynn Clarence Batson." 
"Nice to meet you too," Superboy says–Lynn says–glancing sidelong at him just a little bit hesitantly. "Um . . . Dad." 
Billy grins. 
Okay. Not the worst dad ever after all, then.
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zerobaseonefics · 1 year
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what do you even know ? (pt.2) ㅡ kim taerae.
kim taerae x reader.
words : 1,525
genre : fluff
warnings : kissing ??
first part here
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"the fuck."
"and now, he's gonna get mad..."
there he goes.
"no because what the fuck. how did you even end up with that solution- hell, that's not a solution, you created a whole new problem! why di..."
and your friend, woongi, keeps going. and to be honest, i don't blame him, and neither do you. because, once again, you put yourself in an embarassing situation and then cried about being embarassed.
you two were sitting in the back of the lecture hall, not really paying attention to your teacher's word. you decided it was time for you to finally spill the tea about what happened at that party...
after the moment of closeness you shared with taerae in that kitchen, he followed his words and took you home. he came in, helped you get rid of your shoes, leaded you to your own room. there, he put you in bed, smiled as he told you to have a good night. and that's it. he left you to sleep, with the headache in the morning as your only friend.
when you woke up, you didn't remember everything. you were wondering how did you got home, trying to remind yourself the night before. and it came back, the fact that you confessed to taerae even though you planned on dying with that secret. you panicked, because yes, he didn't reject you, in fact, it kinda seems like the feeling was mutual. but, you know, you just had so much doubts. if he liked you, why didn't he tell you ?
"well i could ask you the same question ! why did you never tell him yourself ??", replied woongi when you told him that.
"because i'm scared, you know ? we are really good friends, and it's been like that since we were child. i don't know, it never seemed like he liked me back !"
"and now that you know he does, why are you avoiding him..."
yes, because that's exactly how decided to deal with that situation. you decided to avoid him, making sure that love conversation would never happen. what if you were wrong ? you were drunk after all, maybe it never happened that way-
"you don't make up things when you're drunk, y/n !", exclaimed woongi.
"don't talk that loud", you said, reminding him you were in class. "look, I don't wanna ruin our friendship, you know ? it's very precious to me, if we date and then someday he realizes he no longer needs me, that's it. that's just the end. if we stay friend, it's better, because that means i get to be with him forever and-"
"forever until he falls in love with someone else...''
"stop ??"
"damn..."
woongi let his head fall onto the table, maybe harder than what he thought, but he decided to act like he didn't hurt.
"i can't believe you have 0 braincells, 0 rizz, 0 bitches..." said your friend, sighing heavily.
"last time i checked you were still single, woongi." woongi choked on his saliva, waking up, ready to clap back.
"well last time i checked i wasn't running away from the boy i'm in love with for some dumb reasons !"
"but what else do you want me to do", you whined.
"talk to him like ?? what the hell do you wanna do ? i don't like that whole miscommunication trope bro."
trust me, woongi, i don't like that miscommunication trope too. and deep down, you knew woongi was right. but you also knew you were too scared to do anything about it.
"keep going like that. you won't have him as a lover, but you'll lost him as a friend too."
maybe that was enough to give a call to reality. you couldn't just avoid him forever if you wanted to stay friend... you had the idea of talking to him like it never happened, like you didn't remember because of the alcohol. to be honest, that was selfish of you and you kinda felt bad for the fact you didn't have the guts to talk to him about it.
what you didn't know for sure is that tarae wasn't that far from you in the lecture hall. he didn't mean to eavesdropping, really, but you guys were just so loud he couldn't help it. now, he knew what was wrong, and decided it was time it took the matter into his hands.
your day in school was finally done. you went home, woongi's words still in mind, thinking about the whole situation. but you didn't have to overthink some more, because when you got home, an hour later, someone knocked at your door.
you weren't waiting for anybody, so that kinda surprised you. but you got up anyway to open the door, coming face to face with taerae.
"hey", he simply said. "hey", you replied.
"can i come in please ? we need to talk."
even if the way he said it was meant to be reassuring, you couldn't help but to feel a bit anxious. without a word, you moved to let him get in.
"wait for me in the living room, okay ? i'll grab you a drink in the kitchen." that was just an excuse to be alone for a second, to make up your mind about what you were going to do. but you didn't except him to follow you in the kitchen.
it was just you and him. in a kitchen. again. but this time, you didn't feel at ease. not in a way where you were afraid of what he would do to you, no. you trusted him, and he would never hurt you. you just know that you had no way to escape that conversation.
"look, y/n, i swear i don't want you to feel forced to talk about it. but i need to be straightforward, so you know what i'm thinking about it."
"about what ?"
"do you remember what happened at that party ?"
you didn't respond, contemplating wether you should lie or not.
"y/n, please tell me you remember."
"i-i don't. i don't remember. i mean, i'm not sure what you referring to..."
"okay. forget about it then."
oh. that's not what you were excepting. you wanted him to let that go, but it still hurted. maybe he just said he liked you because you were drunk and he didn't know what else to do.
"i'm not really into drunk confessions, anyway. i rather tell you what i feel about you properly."
"what ?"
well, you weren't excepting that either. you felt your cheeks and ears getting warm.
"you don't have to reciprocate my feelings, or to answer me now. i just feel like i should tell you because i don't want you to feel insecure about it. you've been avoiding me since then, so i assume you remember what happened? and for some reasons it makes you scared... but please, whatever it is that makes you feel like this, keep in mind i meant every word i said that night. i meant it when i said i love you, because i really do, and i'll show it to you whatever the relationship you want us to have. i kept what i feel for you to myself for years anyway, i can keep going. but, you know, this time, i feel like i might have a chance and i don't want to miss it. if you need time to think about it, that's fine by me. and if you don't... i don't know, maybe you didn't mean it that way when you told me you love me."
he didn't spare you a single look while that monologue, not daring to, afraid of your reactions. but then, you answered.
"you think i meant it in a friendly way ?"
"i don't know, that could explain why you didn't want to talk to me afterwards."
"what do you even know ?"
he understood now. that was your way of telling him you remember what you said that night. he saw that as a green light, maybe you were asking him to give you a push so you could confess properly this time. he reminded him of the way you looked at his lips that night, and to test the waters, he came closer to you. he wouldn't do it if he was sure that's what you wanted. when he saw your eyes automatically went to his lips when he came closer, he took that as a sign, hoping he was not wrong. without a word, he soflty placed his hand on your neck, and finally placed his lips on yours. the kiss was tentative at first, gentle, but the intensity increased when you responded to it, conveying your unspoken feelings to taerae. your hands went to his face, cupping it.
the two of you were lost in each other's touch, basking into the other warmth. but you had to pull away.
just like that night, taerae rested his forehead on yours.
"please tell me you love me back", he said in a whisper. you simply smiled when answering. "i loved you since forever."
and woongi won't be able to call you bitchless anymore.
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spookyxsprinkles · 5 months
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Freezer Burn
todoroki touya × gender neutral and poc friendly reader
not safe for work // 6.3k words // AO3. warnings: angst, break up, arguing, crying, touya has an avoidant attachment style, dialogue heavy, poor communication, nipple biting, oral, possessive, fingering, spooky doesn't know how to write.
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"Are you breaking up with me?"
"Don't be so melodramatic. We weren't even dating," Touya said, taking his keys out of his pocket.
"I--I know but... you know what I mean."
"What do you expect me to say?" He scoffed. "That I'm sorry? 'Cause I'm not. I don't want this."
"Liar."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He opened the door of your apartment and walked out towards his car.
 "You think I don't know you're pushing me away on purpose?" You follow him out, not caring that you had different shoes on. "As much as you like to pretend you don't care, I know you--"
He interrupted you with an angry laugh, before turning to face you as he reached the sidewalk in front of his car. "You must be delusional if you think you have me all figured out. Don't tell me what I feel. You don't fucking know me."
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His car's lights flashed as it unlocked and he opened the door, standing there and glaring at you like if you had spit in his face. Maybe, in his mind, you did.
"I don't need to know every little thing about you to know that you're lying to yourself because you're afraid."
"Afraid of what, huh? Afraid that I'll actually start to care about you as more than just a hole I use to get my rocks off, before ghosting you like all the others that came before? Yeah, you're not special, sweetheart," his hands trembled with fury.
You visibly flinched at his words.
You knew he was right. You were acquainted with him through mutual friends for quite some time before getting physically involved with him. You knew of his non-committal self-sabotaging tendencies. You knew, but it didn't make his words hurt any less.
A flash of guilt flickered in his icy eyes but it disappeared just as soon as it came thanks to the scorching heat of his emotions. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, trying to keep your voice steady as you spoke quietly with stinging eyes.
"Maybe I'm not special, but at least I can be honest with myself. Which is more than you can say about yourself."
He threw his hands up in the air, laughing. "Real cute coming from you. I'm not the one that's so desperate for attention I start writing sappy love stories in my head. Maybe someday you'll find someone who wants to deal with this shit, but it's not gonna be me."
He moved to get in his car, so you took a few steps forward which was enough to catch his attention and stop him from getting in.
"You were just as lonely and desperate for attention as me when we first met, Touya. You parade around all day acting like you don't care about anything, you can't feel anything, but if that was the case you wouldn't come back. You always come back home."
It was a slip up a few months ago. The two of you were out with some friends at a karaoke room and he said he wanted to go home. You never brought it up to him, but he could tell from the way you nearly choked on your food, that you heard him. Since then, every time he heard the word 'home' he'd think about that moment and regret letting himself drink enough to forget his common fucking sense.
And now you had acknowledged that it was a real moment that actually happened when he'd much rather shove the memory away and pretend it was something someone else said. Someone not him.
You stood a few feet in front of him, sniffling and staring down at the tires of his car that he had taught you how to change and fill with air without you asking him to.
"You're the most stubborn person I've ever met. You never do anything you don't want to do, but you kept coming back." You wiped your nose, ignoring the feeling of the hot tears spilling down your cheeks. "Even now, you're still standing here, talking with me instead of leaving. If you didn't care, you would have already left."
He froze as if you had pushed the pause button on his anger. He stared at you intensely. The only sounds breaking the silence was a dog barking at sirens in the distance and your sniffles.
He hated that you were right.
"So what?"
He got in his car, slamming the door in anger and started the engine.
He buckled his seat belt and turned in his seat to look through the rear window as he slowly backed out of the parking space.
You panicked, suddenly shoving your upper body inside his open window.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" He hit the breaks immediately, causing you to flail as you lost your balance and he swiftly grabbed your arms to keep you from slipping and busting your head on asphalt.
"W--We haven't finished talking..!" You gasped, feeling your heartbeat pounding in your chest. "If you leave now, you'll only feel worse later!"
He simply stared at you in disbelief. His mind was screaming at him to get the hell out of there. The only thing stopping him from flooring the gas pedal was the fact that your legs still dangled helplessly outside of the car as you struggled to get inside.
You looked ridiculously stupid as you clung to the window with a tear streaked face. You also seemed so determined…
"Get out of my car," he snapped. "Right now."
He released a hand from you and moved it towards the handle of the door, but you caught his wrist with your hands.
"No," you said as firmly as your grip on his wrist.
His eyes watched as you continued to struggle to balance your body on the door comfortably. He had no idea what your endgame was here.
"You're fucking crazy."
"I love you, Touya," you gasped out. "I'm in love with you and I know you're afraid. I know you've been hurt before. I know you hate everything that's happening right now, but I can't let you leave like this." You tried wiping your eye by rubbing it against your shoulder, before looking back at him.
"I won't force you to stay with me and I won't force you to share things you don't want to share, but I also won't let you run away without us properly talking things through. If we're gonna break up then I don't want to let it end with that as one of our regrets."
He hated that you weren't giving up on him so easily.
Touya stared at you as you spoke. You were so calm and reasonable in spite of the ridiculous position you were in. There was no anger or irritation in your voice, just sincerity and...
He let out a deep breath in an attempt to stay calm.
"That's very big of you," he said defensively. He was always so defensive. "Trust me, it's better this way."
Your eyes studied his face before you decide to take the plunge and vocalize the thoughts that had been swimming around in your head recently. "Is it better or is it just the easiest way to avoid your feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection?"
You watched as his eyes widened a minuscule amount that likely would've gone unnoticed if you hadn't known him for so long. You could feel the flames of his rage from the way his face contorted, his mouth opening to set you ablaze.
Your hands slipped down from his wrist to hold his hand gently in yours, your thumbs resting on the back of his hand.
Your grip was loose. He could easily pulled himself free if he wanted to.
But he didn't.
And that's all you needed.
"I've seen you be blunt beyond the point of just being rude to others and to yourself. You have standards that make it easy for you to look down on those who don't meet them yet even the ones that do fit them get pushed away. You easily say whatever's on your mind, unless what's on your mind risks leaving you vulnerable."
Your thumbs delicately drew circles into the dark marks on the back of his hand that were uniquely his. A sad smile marred your face as you continued to speak.
"I'm always watching you, always listening." Your eyes looked up into his, persevering through his gaze that scorched anything he deemed a threat. "You'd rather be alone than feel alone."
He was speechless as he watched you speak. You read him like an open book. A book he routinely burned whenever someone poked and prodded in a pathetic attempt to get closer to him. How had he let his fire get extinguished so easily? How did it not burn you like it did everyone else?
Like it burned him.
Even he was unable to escape his own flames unscathed.
The fantasy that played in his mind's eye was one where you patiently stood before him as the smoke cleared. His eyes stung and his breathing hitched at the thought.
He sighed deeply, looking more tired than you'd ever seen him before.
"I was serious," his words and tone contrasting with the heavy look he carried on his face. "You're wasting your time if you expect me to tell me what you wanna hear."
You shook your head, "I'm not asking you to say it back. I don't need words when your actions mean more to me." I bring his knuckles to my lips, pressing a soft kiss before looking into his eyes, "Besides, if it's time you're worried about, I wouldn't mind wasting it together."
His entire body reflexively ached to leave at the display of vulnerability, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from you.
Words escaped him as he stared back into your eyes with a confusing mix of fear and hope swirling in his icy blues.
He swallowed hard and finally spoke, "So, all this time," he started as he gathered his bearings, "you've been watching me like some kind of weirdo?"
"Of course," you laughed softly. The movement set a jolt of pain to your abdomen that reminded you of your current position. "Can we go back inside and talk? My stomach hurts from hanging out in your car like this..."
You hissed as you tried to remove yourself from the car. It was definitely gonna leave a mark. He waited until you moved back to the sidewalk before he parked and got out.
"I didn't tell you to jump through the window like a maniac. Seriously, what's wrong with you?"
"Desperate times call for--"
"Dumb ass fucking measures?"
"Yes, precisely. Glad we're on the same page."
He rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, walking back to the apartment. "Masochist."
"Sadist."
"You know the door was unlocked, right? I was gonna show you 'til you started manhandling me."
"Never let them know your next move."
"So, just dangle like an idiot and hope you don't get run over?"
"I'll admit I'm not good under pressure."
He snorted as you opened the door. He just realized you had chased him out in different shoes. Desperate times, indeed.
"Anyways," you continued as you shut the door behind you and removed your shoes, "You liked it. Thought it was super cool and hot when I was flailing around like an idiot."
"Yeah," he said genuinely, catching you off guard and nearly causing you to trip over the entryway step, but you caught yourself against his arm.
You looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he repeated sincerely, his eyes staying on yours. "I did."
You swallowed, feeling your eyes prickle with tears as your mouth gaped at him.
He pinched your cheek.
"C'mon," he said as he walked away from you and further into your home to take a seat on the couch. "Let's do this talking thing. We can watch a movie after or whatever..."
You couldn't see his face as he walked away but you could hear his uncharacteristically breathy inflection and stiff tone when he spoke. Was he feeling nervous? Shy..?
The fact that he was the one trying to get the conversation started rather than avoiding it made your chest bloom with warmth. You had expected him to come up with other things to do first in order to put off the awkward and uncomfortable feelings for a bit longer.
You hopped over to him with a blindingly bright grin, sitting near him on the couch to give him some space for this conversation. However, he pulled your body closer to his so that your sides were pressed up against each other. He wrapped an arm around you while you leaned against his chest.
"So..." he started and you could hear something akin to timidity in his tone so you hugged him, letting your hands affectionately stroke his sides. "I'm shit at feelings."
You wanted to laugh at his blunt word choice but didn't want to come off as mocking and discourage him from speaking. "You are not shit at feelings. You seem to feel things quite strongly. We just need to work on helping you feel more comfortable with letting them out in a healthy way, rather than boxing them up and defaulting to avoidance."
"So, I'm shit at feelings."
"If you say that one more time I am going to bite you."
"I'm shit at-- what the fuck!"
"You were warned."
"My fucking tit--"
"Not my fault it's so chewy."
"I'm shit at-- don't you bite me you fucking animal. Hear me out." He had pinched your cheek again to stop your open mouth from it's impending attack. "I'm shit at this. I know. Don't… laugh at me."
Your eyes softened and you brought your hand up to cup the one he had squeezing your cheek. He released his hold on your skin but you kept it held as you let it slide down to your lap.
"It might feel a bit awkward for you but I promise I won't think less of you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate that you've been trying."
"'Been trying?' I've done jack shit."
"No, you have done 'shit'." You reassured him as your fingers drew circles into the skin of his hand. "You came inside--"
"I always come inside," he smirked.
You bit him again.
"What? No complaint for me this time, Touya?"
"I deserved it."
"Masochist."
"Sadist."
Your lips pursed for a moment as you tried to remember where you were.
"Ah, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," you glared at him playfully, "You've already shown me that you're trying. You came back inside, initiated our talking time, and you're participating, too. I know emotional stuff feels hard, but I'm really, really proud of you."
He let out a 'tch' in jest, before leaning down to whisper into the side of your head. "In case you forgot, I also listened to you while you tried playing leap frog on my car."
"Very true, but I didn't forget. I didn't want to include it since I was practically holding you hostage at the time."
"Hostage?" He laughed haughtily, "If I really wanted to leave you I would've ran you over."
"Why is that strangely sweet..."
"'Cause you're a damn masochist. Get help."
"This, coming from the sadist..." The room was quiet as I rubbed his chest lightly with one hand. "I was really scared you were going to leave earlier, Touya. Like, for good."
He clenched his jaw but didn't say anything, opting to listen since he knew she probably had more to say on the matter. And she did.
"I was afraid that I scared you off by talking about-- about whatever menial domestic thing it was we were talking about before. I can't even remember what it was." You clutched his shirt without thinking as you struggled to remember what could've been the catalyst to losing the person you loved.
"Toilet paper," he stated after a pause. "You read about some sale at the store and were talking about how we should go before the weekend so we could stock up. Then you mentioned wanting to buy me strawberry ice cream."
Silence.
"It all sounded so permanent, so easy to you." You could feel his body tense as he struggled to force himself to speak. "Seeing a future where we go grocery shopping for toilet paper and you buying me something. Something that'll sit in the freezer waiting for me even when I'm not around. Something just for me." His last words were barely a whisper.
Your mouth felt dry, it made sense. He had a hard time staying in one place for too long if it felt like he was being smothered or expected to do things he didn't want to do. Your apartment was no exception, even if he clearly spent more time here than any other place.
"Yeah, you're not special, sweetheart."
You felt a cold ache in your chest at the thought of his angry words from earlier.
You told yourself they were just that, angry words. If they were true, would he have bothered to come back at all? No. You knew Touya was good at lying and even better at emotional warfare. It's how he protected himself. He hadn't done it to you since before the two of you were friends, back when you were just another random person trying too hard to get to know him. Today was the first time in years he had said something that caused you to feel bad about yourself.
You would need to talk about it with him later. Right now you wanted to hear him out, so you shove the memory away for now. You can worry about it later.
As painful as it was to hear him speak of his troubles with having a place to call home, you were grateful to him for really trying. Really, it was incredible just how far he's come already. You always knew he was a fast learner if he wanted to be and this meant so much to you. He had never let himself get this vulnerable with you before.
You wanted to tell him something in response but why did it have to be now, of all times, that you couldn't find the words to speak?
You forced yourself to swallow and nodded at him in encouragement. You didn't want to cry and risk him getting cold feet about the feelings thing. You didn't want him to think this was a mistake and that you couldn't handle the truth, because you could, you just felt deeply for the inner conflicts that took place inside of his head. His fears, his happiness, his efforts... it all meant the world to you and it was really getting to you.
You quietly cleared your throat and with a hoarse voice said, "I can see how that would have caused you to react the w-way that you did."
You mentally cursed yourself for the way your voice broke pathetically mid-sentence. "Sorry about that." And you were. You knew he got flighty over things like that but in the moment I just wasn't thinking.
"Hey, don't wimp out on me now." He pinched at your cheek again. "If I'm gonna bare my damn soul or whatever the hell, you sure as shit better not hold out on me. If you gotta get weepy, then get weepy. I'll save the laughing for later."
Your lips trembled at his words and you can feel your face crumple as you bury it into his chest and wept.
"I was so scared I lost you, Touya."
He stared down at you, committing the sight to memory.
His carelessness did this.
He pulled you in closer to him and placed his cheek on the crown of your head. A little while later you calmed down, sniffling and apologizing for accidentally turning his shirt into a tissue.
"Sorry, this is really embarrassing," you sniffled out with a stuffy nose.
He took in the sight of your puffy eyes and runny nose, before looking away. "S'whatever. I know you, too, you know. That thing you said earlier? About you always watching and listening? I do the same shit with you. If being a crybaby helps, then do it unless you wanna be shit at feelings, too."
Sniffle. "We're both not the best at handling our own feelings, huh..."
"An understatement, in my case."
"It's good that you're acknowledging the areas where you could use some improvement." You say as you reach up to cup his cheek and kissed the corner of his lip. "You're doing so well, Touya."
The way your thumb gently rubbed the pale skin of his cheek while you looked at him with honey in your eyes made his chest ache.
"You--" he swallowed as he held your gaze, "think so?"
You nodded and leaned in to press another kiss on his lips. "I know so."
He felt that familiar urge to run away when shit got too personal, but he yearned for more of the pure warmth you offered to his cold, sorry existence.
"I can't promise to always be better. I'll fuck up. I know it. Just don't give-- don't give up on me."
Sharing feelings was embarrassing, painfully so. At least, that's what he told himself to explain the lump in his throat when he struggled to say the words out loud. His hand moved to your thigh and squeezed it, "I'm stubborn but I don't want to fuck this up. When I fuck up, I'll need time to get my head out of my ass."
You felt like crying again seeing how desperately he tried to let you know he wasn't going to always be good at the communication, but he wanted to be and he was trying.
"I'll sit in the freezer waiting for you."
"I-- what? The hell?"
You laugh softly at his dumbfounded expression. "I'll be the ice cream sitting in the freezer waiting for you. So, don't worry about having to rush the process. Do your best. I believe in you, Touya."
He stared at your face for a moment.
"You have low iron. The freezer would kill you."
"I'll be fine 'cause you're always warm."
He once again felt that familiar ache in his chest that he usually got around you. "Wait too long and you'll get freezer burn."
"Are you saying a little freezer burn would keep you from eating your favourite ice cream?" You paused when you noticed his amused expression. "Okay, I walked myself into that one."
"Yeah," the corner of his lip twitched as his eyes darkened. "You did."
"Hey, I know that look. We need to finish talking first-- T-Touya!"
He grabbed your legs, flipping you on your back against the couch with him crawling over you.
"Don't you wanna reward me for doing well so far?" He asked in a low voice. You whimpered at the sight of his heavily lidded eyes looking down at you, amused with your flustered face.
"W-Well, positive reinforcement is a good way of encouraging good behavior, so yes we can, but you have to swear we will talk about this right after-"
He expertly rolled his hips against you, making you gasp. "I'm feeling pretty encouraged right now. You can feel it too, I bet."
You definitely felt it.
He kissed your lips as he removed your bottoms, pushing the backs of your knees as far against as he knew you could comfortably take, exposing the entirety of you in your underwear.
"I swear," he licked a slow stripe against the fabric before pushing it to the side and staring hungrily at your flesh, "on my god damn dick, we'll talk right after I make you come at least four times."
"F-Four?" You could feel his thumb teasing you as he swiped up and down your flesh.
"Five now," his lips wrapped around your sweet spot. He sucked while rubbing his tongue against it at the same time, making your body shudder.
He needed to make up for making you cry so much today.
Your hips bucked against his face, then his fingers.
"So fucking eager after all that talking, huh?" He gave a lopsided grin as he licked the taste of you left behind on his lips. "Yeah, we're definitely talking more often."
He soaked his fingers with the bottle of lube he liked leaving between the seat cushions for times like these. You felt one of his slick fingers tease your tight hole.
"Tell me who fucks you better than me."
"N-No one!"
"Weak shit. Say it again."
"You're the only one who fucks me t-this well!"
He slowly pressed his finger in, the stretch making you sing. He took his time prepping you before inserting another finger and moving in and out of you. He lapped you into whines, working his hand at the pace he knew drove you wild. You cried out praises for him, which he liked almost as much as he liked fucking you to tears.
"And who does this hole belong to? Who owns the rest of this pretty body?"
"Y-You do, it's yours, Touya! It's all yours for you to use as you please!"
You felt your legs trembling as he kept his hands busy with fucking you. The coil inside of you tightening as he vigorously pumped and sucked.
"T-Touya..!" You voice broke as you wailed.
He smirked, feeling satisfied at how fervently your hips bucked against him. You were a needy mess and he hadn't even stretched you with his fat cock yet.
Soon.
"It's mine. You're all fucking mine." His head dived back in and you felt yourself on the precipice of-
"Yeah, you're not special sweetheart."
You shook your head and looked down at him as he looked up at you. He sucked you hard, making your back arch. You were so close.
You stared through half lidded eyes, throat already sore from the sounds he'd easily pulled from you. You tried to focus on the view of him pleasuring you with expertise. Your was mouth open as you shut your eyes and leaned your head back against the couch. You were so close.
"Afraid of what, huh? Afraid that I'll actually start to care about you as more than just a hole I use to get my rocks off, before ghosting you like all the others that came before you?"
You grit your teeth.
Now was not the time for this.
Your eyes shut. You forced the memory away from the forefront of your mind. It doesn't matter right now, you'll tell him how you feel about it later.
Now wasn't the time.
Later.
Later.
...
"Fuck!!" You felt Touya pull his body away from you. "Did I not hear you say the safeword!?"
You opened your eyes and Touya's blurry face had moved from in between your legs to kneeling on the floor beside where you laid on the couch. You blinked your eyes and wiped them with your hands. Oh.
You were crying again.
The realization brought more tears and you looked over at Touya who stared down at you fearfully.
"Maybe someday you'll find someone who wants to deal with this shit, but it's not gonna be me."
"Hey, what--" his voice cracked.
Your body shook as you sobbed into your hands.
A sinking feeling had found it's place in his stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't-- I didn't hear you-"
"T-That's not it." Your voice muffled by your hands and your stuffed nose as you continued to sob. "The sex was consensual the w-whole time."
He looked down at you confused. Relieved that he hadn't hurt you in that way, but stressed since he didn't know what happened to you. His chest burned with anxiety and it made him feel restless. He grabbed your throw blanket and pulled it over you, which you used to hide your sloppy face as you tried to calm yourself down.
"Touya," you cried quietly and he stared down at you frozen with fear.
It was him.
"Tell me what I did." He knew he'd fuck up. He just didn't think it'd be this soon.
You didn't want to hurt him. You wanted to protect him but how could you protect him from the very words he spat at you in a desperate rage? Not speaking up about your own feelings fully and pushing them aside for someone else's sake is how you got here in the first place.
You needed to practice what you preached.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said to me."
The parking lot. He already knew. He hated himself when he said those things and he hated himself now.
It was only a matter of time until he'd ruin things here.
You saw him grab his phone from the floor before standing up and walking across the living room. It must have fallen during your activities.
"I'll text Toga to come by. I'll stay until then."
"Don't go."
"I shouldn't be here."
"Because you hurt my feelings?"
"Yes!" He snapped. "This isn't masochism, it's straight up fucking delusional if you can't see the problem with me staying."
"You hurt my feelings," you sniffled. "It's going hurt whether or not you leave. Stay and talk with me about it."
"This talking shit clearly isn't working. One second you're telling me I fuck you the best then suddenly you're crying in the next. I already ruined whatever we could've had before it even started. We already know how this ends, so don't waste your time."
"If you leave then we will know how this ends." You sat up on the couch, clutching the soft blanket like a lifeline. Your voice was firm, but not enough to cover your soft determination. "You're hurt and so am I. So, sit with me instead of running away. Leaving things the way they are now is the sure-fire way to ruin this."
His jaw tightened as he stayed where he was.
"We talked a little bit earlier, but the issue just now wasn't your fault. It was mine-"
"You're not the one who said all that nasty shit to the person you-" He turned away and glared holes into an innocent plant. "It's over. We're not even fucking dating and it's over." He ran a hand through his hair and laughed.
"You did say horrible things, but I kept brushing off my feelings. We talked a bit earlier, but I still had feelings left unsaid." You stood up, the sound of your feet padding against the floor behind him made him stiffen. You stood in front of him, with your arms loosely crossed on your chest. "How are you supposed to know that stuff was still bothering me? It's not like you can read my mind."
"Don't be fucking dense."
"I seem to recall us wanting to work things out. You told me not to give up on you, remember?"
"Before I realized I traumatized you by saying a bunch of shit!"
"You didn't traumatize me, you hurt my feelings. There's a difference."
"You know the reason you had 'feelings left unsaid' is 'cause I basically mounted you before you could finish saying them, right?"
"No, that's not true and don't demonize yourself like that." You reached for his hand that was balled into a fist at his side, but he pulled it away.
He wasn't worthy of your compassion.
You frowned but didn't let it deter you. "I said it was okay --and before you say anything-- I wasn't coerced into it, either."
His eye twitched at her already knowing what he was going to say before he said it.
"You tease and mock, but you've shown me time and time again that you respect me and my body. You waited until I gave consent and I know that if I didn't give it, you would've let it go and let me talk about my feelings instead. You didn't take advantage of me. I disrespected myself by not prioritizing my own feelings. That's what the main issue was here."
"You said you couldn't stop thinking about what I said. It's my fault, they were my shitty fucking words."
"I'm not trying to say your words weren't a part of it, they definitely were, but I know you were just... saying what you could to put distance in between us."
He sneered, "Is that what you're telling yourself? Doesn't matter why I said it. Intentional or not, lies or not: it still fucking hurt you." His lips curled bitterly as remorse stained the cool blue of his eyes. "It'll be what you think of when you see me from now on."
You took a small step towards him, careful not to invade his personal space but enough to momentarily satisfy your need for physical closeness. Your need for the comfortable heat he offered to you as you both stood together in silence.
"I won't lie..." You started.
He knew that you never lied to him. Your stupidly sincere approach to interactions with him were probably what got him wrapped around your finger in the first place.
He did wonder if you ever lied to yourself about him, though. It'd explain why you let him stick around even while knowing he was a jackass.
He also recognized there wasn't any actual weight to that way of thinking. If anything, the times where your feelings felt so real outweighed those paranoid thoughts of his. Sometimes he'd catch you looking at him. The sweet honey dripping from your eyes at him doing fuck all felt so raw that he'd panic and have to leave for a while.
Whenever you smiled at him, even the soft little ones, you beamed bright enough to burn him to cinders if he let it. Lately, he had found himself simmering under your heat longer and longer, letting himself get singed by you.
Seeing you fidget with the hem of your top snapped him out of his thoughts. You were still in your underwear and it reminded him that he'd burned you. Not with the heat of patience and kindness that you regularly thawed him with, but with flames full of his own agonizingly self-sabotaging wrath.
"I won't lie," you repeated after taking a couple seconds to gather your thoughts. "I'll probably always think about what you said."
He already knew it yet it still made him hate himself more.
"The same way you'll probably always think about it, too."
You sweet, merciful, stupid fucking angel.
"Stop."
"No. You need to hear this."
"Just fucking stop."
"Don't interrupt me, Touya."
He glared at you in irritation as he clenched and unclenched his hands in an attempt to keep himself grounded. Mentally and literally. If he ran away now, you wouldn't be able to share your thoughts. He owed you that and so much more.
"It's something that effected the both of us and it'll change the way we are, but we don't have to let it change us in a bad way. We can use our hurt to help us grow." You said while looking at him with eyes full of hope. "We won't forget it happened and we shouldn't."
"We-- you--," he stammered. He could see the patience in your face and logic, feel the tender touch of your words. He was concurrently immolated by your steadfast mercy and by his venomous wrath. "We need to end this before you get hurt again."
"'Before I get hurt again'? I am going to get hurt again. By you, myself, or some other thing. It's what happens as we live and grow. The difference is learning from it. This is our 'before', and if you let us, we can work on moving on towards our 'after'."
"You know how ridiculously optimistic that sounds, right? Stupidly sappy, too. You really think it's as simple as that?"
"Can I hold your hand?"
He blinked in confusion at the randomness of the question but gave a small nod. You took ahold of it with both of your own.
"We both know it won't be simple. We both have baggage and hurt we'd need to address if we want to be something. It's going to be really hard, but if you stay I know that we'll both put in the work to reach our 'after' and every 'after' after that."
He stayed silent as he took in her words. You really saw--
"--Lots of 'after's, huh?" He quietly spoke as he tried to drown out his nerves with a teasing tone.
He looked at you with hopeful eyes that brought a small smile to your face.
"Lots of 'after's. I am your ice cream sitting in the freezer, remember?"
He'd scoff if he hadn't just gotten the wind knocked from his lungs.
You raise his hand to your lips before pressing a little kiss on the scars on the back of his hand before tugging it gently so he'd follow you to sit back down on the couch.
"I'm not eating freezer burnt ice cream."
"Hey! That's so mean…" you pouted. "And wasteful. You're way too picky of an eater, no wonder you're always grumpy."
"I'm fucking with you."
"Oh, I know. I'm fucking with you, too."
"Sadist..." He affectionately played with the shell of your ear while resting his cheek on your head. The gesture filled her with elation as they sat in comfortable silence.
"Look, I'm..." he started, struggling with his words.
"I know."
"I shouldn't-- I shouldn't have said those things earlier."
"I know."
"You didn't deserve it," his voice was softer.
"I know," you wrapped your arms around his firm torso, squeezing a little tighter.
"You're clingy. What're you thinking? Don't skimp out on me again, I wanna hear all the ugly shit, too." He lightly pinched at your cheek, "This shit ain't gonna work if it's one-sided. Start talking."
You smiled as he pressed his lips to your forehead.
"Okay, Touya."
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softobytwt · 2 years
Text
Spamton’s relationship with the Addisons, the way each of them treated and felt about him and why it matters
aka “I gave those Ads personalities so you don’t have to!” (not really)
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after the normal fight with Spamton, the player can go back through the city, and if talking to Addisons, most of them have a special dialogue about him 
 Combining those dialogues with what they have to say about him in the Trash Zone, i think we can easily put together what each of them thought about him and what kind of relationships they had with him.
Disclaimer: this (really long) post was made as an observation, mostly of what was stated in the game (and a bit of my personal biases) and, basially, for the funsies. I am also very sorry if i make any grammar or punctuation mistakes, english is not my first language.
i’m going to divide all the Addisons to four colors, and summarize how each color feels about Spamton. (ex. Pink doesn’t like spamton, Orange mostly does not care etc.) Describing the first Orange and the second one as mostly the same, the first Blue and the second are as well and so on. I could as well be very wrong about that, but it’s my personal interpretation.
so, lets see what all the Ads (i’m going to call them that cuz ‘Addisons’ is too fucking long to type every single time)
when asking Orange Addisons about Spamton, after fighting him: 
"Spamton? ... Haven't heard that name in a long time"
"Spamton? ... We don't talk about that around here" 
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when asking Blue Addisons:
"Spamton? ... We don't talk about that around here"
"Spamton? ...No idea who you're talking about"
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It’s worth mentioning that neither of the Pink ones ( the “Tea” Pink Addison nor the “Marriage shoes/ Freeze ring” Pink Addison) even mention him, saying their default lines.
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But more about those weirdos later!
All of the Ads are startled from hearing his name again, after such a long time. While the first Orange one shows kind of nostalgia and maybe sadness, the others are avoiding talking about him and even being hostile from hearing his name.
(well, the case with the “Shoe sample” Blue Addison, who says they don’t know who Kris is talking about, could be that they actually don’t know him, but with the context that all the others do know Spamton and that there are two Blue Addisons explaining what happened to him, it seems very, very unlikely)
so what do they say about Spamton after the NEO fight and how it concludes the way they feel about him?
(here’s a full script of what they told Kris. the words that are highlighted are the ones i think are keys to understand each of their relationships.)
(YELLOW) He was... Like the rest of us. Just... a little unlucky. For some reason, his products never seemed to hit... ... and the lightners never even looked his way... Poor guy.
(BLUE) Night after night, when we all went to the same cyber grill, He'd shoot his mouth about making it big someday. "You just watch! Someday, I'm gonna be a big shot!"
(ORANGE) he started to get a little desperate. I heard he started looking for any way to become more popular. Somehow, he made the right phone call, and found someone. Or, was he... found BY someone? They must have been helping him, because suddenly he was on the phone all the time...
(PINK) Suddenly, he got really good at his job. The clicks started piling up... What? What did he do? Why did HE deserve this? We were all so jealous of him, We stopped going out with him. I mean, wasn't he a big shot? He didn't need us anymore, did he...?
(YELLOW) Even so, he only got more and more succesful. He moved into a luxurious room in the Queen's mansion... He started bragging about big TV deals, big cars, big commercials... But then things started to crack. It seems like whatever was helping him... Disappeared. His sales dropped to zero... and everything came crashing down.
(BLUE) The day he was to be evicted from the Queen's mansion, I went to his room to check on him... But he wasn't there. There was only a phone hanging off the handle. He must've left in the middle of a conversation, Because I could still hear someone on the other end... ... But when I put the receiver to my ear... There was nothing but garbage noice.
i think it’s very interesting that Addisons of different colors also talk about different aspects of his early life, which are
Yellow talking about his unluckiness and success,
Blue talking about his personality and disappearance,
Orange talking about his desperation,
and Pink straight up trashing him! Oh, and also abandonment.
let’s summarize!
Orange Addison(s) weren't involved in Spamton's life as much as the others
given the fact that they’ve heard (probably from the others) that he started to get desperate, we can assume they weren’t very close to Spamton. They know him, but don’t keep in close contact with him, although the moment he was suddenly on the phone all the time, they realize it quickly. They most likely didn’t believe in Spamton, seemingly shocked that he was able to make the right phone call.
despite that, we see a Spamton-shaped mannequin in their shop (which is on sale) that could either mean that Orange Ad thinks about him sometimes, or is following Blue Addisons steps in leaving everything about that guy behind.
Another thing worth mentioning is that along with the Pink Addison (although for complitely different reasons), there is only one Orange Addison after the Spamton NEO fight, as if they don’t have anything to say about him, only proving my theory to be correct.
Blue Addison(s) cared about Spamton (at some degree at least) but they try to emotionally detach from him, leave him in the past
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When describing Spamton (pre-BIG SHOT era) they don’t make him look either bad nor good, simply retelling his words, that he’s shoot his mouth about making it big … and the implications that most of his friends didn’t actually have faith in him.
even though they all stopped going out with Spamton from being jealous of him, this one was still close to him (somehow), leaving that jealousy behind (it is unclear whether or not all the Ads felt this way, but it's assumed they did) when they go check on him what they saw and heard most likely traumatized them, looking at how they don’t talk about him here and unlike Orange, try to leave their past with him behind, or even possibly a secret.
We don’t know whether or not they told everyone else about “the garbage noise incident”. If no: it could only explain why everybody else talk so different about him; but if yes, which is more likely and explains a lot more: it could also explain why everybody talks so different of him! It means that specifically Blue and Yellow Addisons cared the most (and why there are two of each of them) , having so much impact from Spamton suddenly disappearing, it means that all of them feel guilt from abandoning him and tbh being pretty shitty friends to him.
bonus: an interesting thing i noticed, that when returning to Castle Town (no matter if you fought Spamton NEO, and no matter what route you’re on) there is a Blue Addison standing next to a Spamton-shaped mannequin, which probably means nothing, but i’m going to count this as them still, even after all this time, caring about him and wanting to spend time again.
Pink Addison, that sus motherfucker (tm) and a certified (canon) "Spamton hater"! (with guilt)
 Out of all the Ads, we have the most information and a lot more to discuss about them.
Firstly, (only looking at actual information from the game) there are 3 Pink Addisons that we can see, two of which can sell us stuff. that could mean that they are either the more succesful of all of them, that they just love advertizing… or that Spamton “disappearing” didn’t affect their sales anyway. Or who knows, maybe it’s random and does not mean anything.
Like was mentioned earlier, they’re the only one(s) who don’t have special dialogue about Spamton. If, for example, it was to make the party react at their lines differently, when it's Kris, Ralsei and Susie, instead of only Kris and Noelle (although this could also apply to the other Ads, who could've given differenty dialogue because of Susie and Ralsei, so this explanation sucks tbh), or if at least one of the other selling Addisons also had nothing to say about him, it could be possible that those particular Ads just didn’t know him or it was a coincidence, and Toby Fox didn’t care about those details.
But knowing the fact that it was specifically the Pink ones, one of whom also for SOME REASON had a role in the snowgrave route, "coincidentally" also selling a ring to the gaslight gatekeep girlboss duo, and only one of whom appeared in the Trash Zone (compared to the pairs of Blue and Yellow ones, excluding Orange who didn't have much to say about Spamton), saying mostly negative things about Spamton (probably being the most jealous of all the Addisons), well... 
i don’t think they got along very well.
they didn’t believe Spamton would be good at his job, not that suddenly anyway, being suspicious of the source of that success and jealous of him. Compared, for example, to the Yellow Addison, who never mentions being jealous and overall had a good relationship with their short friend, they seem to express a noticeable distaste towards him.
so, with all this evidence it seems like they really hate him, right...?
well, yeah!... No. I mean, you don't feel guilt over the person you hate getting lost and possibly being dead or even miss them, do you?
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So, remember how Blue Addison copes with their loss of Spamton? that's right, emotional detachment, "moving on" and trying to not be associated with him, all done by someone who at least cared about him. sounds familiar?
Pink Addison(s) talk so bitter of Spamton being convinced of him not needing them anymore, being so resentful of him because they believed he abandoned them first since he's now even more successful than any of them, so why would he still hang out with his friends anymore,why would he still want to hang out with them specifically concidering their treatment of him?
on another note, as previously stated, it's an interesting detail that both Pink Addison and Spamton sell Kris and Noelle (who they both call “Angel”) a ring, that supposedly "makes you stronger", although Spamton, being a desperate little sad man he is, helps the player with telling them how many people you still need to murder to get the Thorn Ring, while that motherfucker wonders why there are frozen corpses on the streets and all the living people are runnung for their lives, sees you and offers you an item that makes you stronger, and then, heh... proceeds to tell you a price that is exactly 1 g more than you have.
well anyway.
It seems like all the Addisons, despite regretting what happaned to their unlucky friend, don't let their personal relations affect their careers. Except...
Yellow Addison(s), their empathy and sorrow.
this special fella only appears in game after defeating Spamton NEO, unlike their peers. In contrast to Orange, Pink or even Blue, whos sales weren't perturbed cause of the guy they don't talk about, we never see Yellow Addisons with their stores, selling.
One of the explanations can be that there weren't enough room for them, but if so, why do we even meet them? it's not like Spamton's backstory would've been too different without them, so why do they only make an appearence in that certain scene?
Simple. just like the Blue Addisons, there are two of Yellow ones, and knowing how they're the only one who openly expresses pity and sorrow not only about after what happaned, but also about Spamton's life before he became a "big shot", they probably understood his difficulties a lot. They never blame him for not succeeding, only mentioning his bad luck, not because they thought he was bad at his job.
As the Pink Addison talks about all of them abandoning Spamton, the next Ad talks about how he got more and more popular, and about how he started bragging about his new successful life, which… who would he be bragging all this to? it’s yet another similarity to the Blue Addison: both of them seemed to be close to their unlucky friend, and while Blue wanted to check on Spamton in his day of eviction, Yellow kept in contact with him, and based on the reaction to his success from Pink Addison, it’s easy to note that they were supportive of him, even if they were jealous.
This only makes it worse when everything comes crashing down for Spamton, since they actually supported him it seems like his downfall and disappearance really badly affected Yellow Addison, judging by the lack of Yellow Ads in the city and things mentioned earlier.
another theory that i've heard a few times before is that the reason why Yellow Addison(s) are not present in the city is because they were still looking for Spamton, which is, angst!! look how hard i can cry!!
conclusion
if you've read up to this point in the post, thank you! it's the firsts time i'm writing something like this!
i think it's very cool that in a game like deltarune you can get so much interesting lore if you look deeply into the lines of those silly characters. Though no matter how much i would love my own theories and headcanons to be true, i think it's important to note that a lot of canon evidence is up for interpretation! so if you have anything more to say or have different opinions on this topic feel free to tell me! i'd love to hear other people's thoughts about those funky weird advertisement guys
this post was mostly inspired by @brightgoat ‘s interpretation of the Addisons (so go check their art out :) )
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13tinysocks · 3 months
Note
hey dude! What's up :)) been just a little since l've said something
Initially, this is me saying thank you and goodbye
This isn't supposed to be a weird pity story, so l'm so unbelievably sorry if it comes off that way, lol.
When I began reading your work, I was enamoured with fiction because of personal issues (as many usually are, honestly, I know I'm one of god knows how many people trying to run away from life for just a second with fanfics or media in general). I don't know if I will ever be able to communicate this properly, hell, this will even be unbelievable funny or dramatic but I need to get this across because it's coming from a genuine place. Your stories and work thus far has brought me comfort, immense heaps of it, and even still when I deal with things that feel out of reach or too much to actually face head on I find myself wandering back to syg or just your blog in general
I mean this, from my entire heart, thank you and thank Bee. A million times thank you, for making that one silly silly stupid piece of fanfiction, because oh my god it got me through some major stressful hardships within my life for the past 3 years.
I am leaving tumblr, however I’m aware I have submitted asks with my actual accounts before, so you'll likely be able to see they're still gonna be up. I'm just deleting tumblr the app instead of my account, but for other social platforms they will be deleted properly (such as quotev) so I won’t be indulging in much reading anymore when it comes to fanfics and such lol
I don't know if I'll come back, if I do I likely will not be back for long or to be as active as l've been because of the toll social media’s taken. So even as ridiculous as this feels, to tell someone I’m simply a fan of and barely truly know, that their fanfic of murderers and their love story with my self insert kept me pushing through a lot of tough days, I genuinely just had to.
I needed to thank both you and your partner for the work you've both put out. I still have that smiley pin I’d made, and I will cherish what you made quotev have been for me ( I literally found out about the website during early or late 2020 I can barely remember, then later found your fic, I was DEEP DIVING into that shit LMAO )
I hope whatever happens for you and bee in the future is only good, and I only will wish nothing but the best of luck with everything man.
feel free to post this (idk what it’s called but when you publicly reply lol) or not, as long as you read this it’ll mean lots to me !! >:))
your coolest weirdest ticci toby fan whose also named toby, 🐚 annon
I always struggle to convey gratefulness for messages like this and readership- especially repeated readership. My life would be different if it were not for comments and messages egging us on to keep writing from syg to ho1c. While it's easy to say that writing is solely out of passion for the craft there is also the drive to share something with others. Hearing those others loud or quiet as a favorite- does push us forward when we have no motivation or desire to work. That drive has made us closer as a couple, better thinkers, and a halfway decent writing team. I thank you and all the others who send us stuff even if it's shit post asks I never answer because I like having them in my inbox like a personal horde of platonic Valentine's. I like keeping the pieces you give me to myself sometimes. I know it may seem like I'm ignoring you but I find genuine comfort in these messages. That there are so many. That they are so varied. That we have reached beyond our shut-in existence to touch the lives of others.
I find myself wondering where an anon has gone when I do not hear from them in awhile. I wish them well. I wish them better standards than us.
Maybe we'll meet again someday space cowboy. If you're ever back in town feel free to shoot me (a message).
Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for reading. I wish you peace and love and good books.
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mcflymemes · 11 months
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PROMPTS FROM BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE *  assorted dialogue from the 2003 film, adjust as necessary
i can't sleep. the bed's all bumpy.
it takes a day or two to get used to things.
it wouldn't be the same without you. we'd really miss you.
you're a wonderful dancer!
come on, i'm heading out again! you'll love it!
thought you might want breakfast!
i'll be back to help soon!
are you kidding? it's impossible!
you need to pick a bride.
soon you'll take over the throne.
you know i'll marry someday, but first i want to do so much! explore, travel...
easy for you to say! you're not getting strangled!
now are you gonna stand around with your mouth open or cut me loose?
ugh. nevermind. i'll do it myself.
hang on, i'll cut it with something!
where did you get that?
you mean you just took it out?
i'm sorry! i'll put it right back!
please don't apologize. we've been waiting for you for a long time.
you know better than to venture into the human world.
what am i going to do with you?
what is your name, my dear?
do you know what you have in your hand?
i was just going to return it.
you must have me mixed up with somebody else.
i tried to force him to leave, but his dark powers were overwhelming.
it's you! you! our hero! give me a hug!
i can't be the one. i haven't overcome anybody in my life! i wish i could help, but...
we can't force her. the dangers are enormous.
i'm really sorry. i've got to get back. my family will be looking for me.
it's just... i'm... i'm not brave like you.
ooh, my days are numbered. i'm shaking in my boots!
we came as quickly as we could.
you still think you can interfere with my destiny?
you can do nothing here.
can you turn me back?
i can't go home like this. i have to find a way to break the spell.
nobody has been there for years.
hey, that's it! my package arrived!
we don't want to worry about what's out there anyway! we've got enough to do here!
well, you never know. maybe there's something amazing to discover... just around the corner.
so exactly how scary are we talking about?
hey... you're braver than you think.
i don't know you... and you really don't wanna know me.
it's an act! to keep out the riff-raff, you know? now don't tell anybody.
ooh, sit down! make yourselves at home!
what can i get for you? tea? scones? cake?
oh, don't mind if i do.
may i see the book?
if i get zapped with one more defective wand, i'm gonna scream.
i have nothing to wear. it's humiliating.
take the shot! take the shot!
how did you get here?
do you see what i see?
you obviously have no idea with whom you are dealing.
that's not how it looked to me.
i can protect you at my castle. you can bring your family.
i couldn't stand it if he hurt you to get at me.
then i stay here with you.
you realize true love is very rare.
alone they are two, but together they are one. that kind of selfless love has awesome power.
i'm waiting for someone!
will you dance with me?
i guess what i'm asking is... will you marry me?
i love her with all my heart.
what are you afraid of? come and get me! i'm right here!
is that the best you can do?
the legend! it must be true love!
it's you i love... if you'll have me.
a friend once told me that you're braver than you think. turns out she was right.
i'm so proud of you!
how many layers for the wedding cake?
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astrronomemes · 1 year
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TAYLOR SWIFT: SPEAK NOW STARTERS (PART II)
a collection of lyrics taken from Taylor Swift’s Speak Now album. change & alter as needed.
“It’s so quiet in the world tonight.”
“You’ve got nothing to regret.”
“I’d give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that.”
“Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up.”
“It could stay this simple.”
“I won’t let nobody hurt you. I won’t let no one break your heart.”
“I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone.”
“They just dropped me off.”
“It’s so much colder than I thought it would be.”
“I wish I’d never grown up.”
“I don’t want to grow up.”
“It was enchanting to meet you.”
“I was enchanted to meet you.”
“Don’t you let it go.”
“I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew.”
“Who do you love?”
“My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again.”
“These are the words I held back.”
“Please don’t be in love with someone else.”
“Let’s hear the applause.”
“I never saw it coming.”
“I underestimated just who I was dealing with.”
“She underestimated just who she was stealing from.”
“She’s not a saint, and she’s not what you think.”
“There is nothing I do better than revenge.”
“Sophistication isn’t what you wear, or who you know, or pushing people down to get to where you want to go.”
“They don’t teach you that in prep school.”
“No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity.”
“Do you still feel like you know what you’re doing? ’Cause I don’t think you do.”
“I guess you really did it this time.”
“Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?”
“It’s all right. Just wait and see.”
“Who you are is not where you’ve been.”
“You’re still an innocent.”
“Life is a tough crowd.”
“Who you are is not what you did.”
“Time turns flames to embers.”
“You’ll have new Septembers.”
“Every one of us has messed up, too.”
“Minds change like the weather.”
“Today is never too late to be brand-new.”
“I can’t trust anything now.”
“Something’s made your eyes go cold.”
“Don’t leave me like this!”
“I thought I had you figured out.”
“Something’s gone terribly wrong.”
“You’re all I wanted.”
“I still mean every word I said to you.”
“I’m wishing he was you instead.”
“You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?”
“I don’t know how to be something you miss.”
“I never thought we’d have our last kiss.”
“You’re showing off again.”
“I’m not much for dancing.”
“I’ll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are.”
“Hope it’s nice where you are.”
“Remember this moment.”
“Long live all the magic we made.”
“One day, we will be remembered.”
“Long live all the mountains we moved.”
“I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you.”
“What if, God forbid, fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye?”
“If you have children someday, and they point to the pictures, please tell them my name.”
“I had the time of my life with you.”
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the-himawari · 7 months
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A3! Promotion Event Translation - Haunted Western-style House (7/9)
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*Please read disclaimer on blog
---
Minato: …And that’s what happened. Sorry, it’s really not a big deal…
Masumi: It’s fine.
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Tsumugi: …Masumi-kun.
Masumi: Tsumugi?
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Tsumugi: I’m sorry, overheard your conversation. So you were too hasty towards the girl you have a crush on…
Minato: Everything I said and did because I wanted her to like me back backfired and got me nowhere… and now she might hate me…
Tsumugi: Is that why you left the line?
Minato: Yeah, I wanted to take a minute to cool my head… I was really looking forward to getting to hang out together today, and yet…
Masumi: …
Minato: Man, what in the world should I do if Kaname-chan falls for someone else…
Masumi: …Sometimes, love is an impossible game.
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Minato: Huh?
Tsumugi: Wait, that’s…
Masumi: Until recently, I also thought I was spinning my wheels and getting nowhere just like you. I wanted her to like me and fall for me again.
Minato: Huh? You were the one doing the chasing? You look like you'd be popular though. You must like that person a whole lot.
Masumi: Of course I do. She’s my soulmate, after all.
Minato: Soulmate… I think that way about Kaname-chan too.
Tsumugi: (This boy really is similar to Masumi-kun in the way he loves…)
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Minato: Hold on, what you said just now… What does “sometimes, love is an impossible game” mean?
Masumi: Those are the words from a love master that I know. You might get stuck and things won’t go well. But if you try again and again without giving up, you might be able to clear it someday… That’s the real thrill of an impossible game.
Minato: It’s easy to understand when you compare it to a game like that. So you’re saying that you haven’t given up on that person?
Masumi: Even now, I haven't given up. My wish for her to love me won’t change. But… Thanks to another love master, I realized that just keeping her in my thoughts makes me happy. Since then, I feel like I haven’t been spinning my wheels as much as before…
Tsumugi: (I had been watching Masumi-kun and I thought he had a change of heart for some time now, but that's what happened…)
Minato: That mature way of thinking is pretty cool. …But now that I think about it, I also have fun when I think about liking Kaname-chan. Hey, maybe I'm the same type as you, mister.
Masumi: …
Minato: Hearing your story made me realize that I don't have to give up on Kaname-chan and my heart feels lighter now!
Tsumugi: Ah, it looks like it’s almost your group’s turn to go in. Are you going to rejoin the line?
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Minato: Yeah! I might still find myself feeling lost again… But from now on, I'm gonna approach her with the thought that I'm happy just keeping her in my thoughts! Thanks so much!
*walks away*
Tsumugi: I’m glad it looks like that boy cheered up.
Masumi: …Yeah. He’ll be fine. …By the way, was it alright for you to come over here?
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Tsumugi: Yes. Tsuzuru-kun asked me to take a peek at how you were doing.
Masumi: I see…
Tsumugi: Alright, shall we head back as well?
Masumi: I’ll guide that guy through the Horror House.
Tsumugi: Fufu. I’ll leave it to you then.
---
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pansyfemme · 1 month
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As someone with clinical depression and bpd ++ some other stuff I just wanna say I absolutely understand the "wanting to get better but Knowing it won't ever end". Like, I am in a very similar boat where I know I'm never ever going to be able to be told I don't meet the criteria for the stuff I have. But god, one day, I'd like to say I'm not struggling anymore. That for a whole month I woke up GOOD. I didn't rot in bed for 5 hours. I did all my tasks and I only felt a little sad and when I felt sad I let it pass instead of it eating me up and ruining all my progress.
It's gonna get better for us both I think. The only way out is through. And I think we can manage a few more bramble patches. 🫂
I won’t go into my full list of diagnoses because it’s long and also incomplete, my therapist actually has told me that despite me fitting the criteria for a few other disorders, since i already have several disorders, it’s prob just best to identify what symptoms i deal with one by one than segment a whole mess of things into seperate disorders that interact anyways. but i deal with anything from dissociation to obsessive-compulsive thought proccesses to hallucination to delusion to periods of intense paranoia and agoraphobic tendancies, and it’s a fucking mess and i’ve been officially getting treatment for all that for like 11 or 12 years now, but the most consistant thing is my depression, which is given all those fun labels like ‘severe’ ‘treatment resistant’ ‘chronic’ and ‘high-risk’, and i’ve had that since i was about three years old (maybe before that, but that’s the age it started presenting/i can remember.) It’s rough to like. sum up the way it makes you feel when you don’t remember not dealing with severe mental illness, it’s just my life and what i know. I’m not asking for it to be gone, because i don’t know my life and myself without it. But i do sometimes dream that one day I will be able to leave it behind in another respect- that people will not worry about me constantly, that maybe i can wean off meds someday and learn to balance life without them, or be able to have a wider open schedule- i have had therapy no less than twice a week, at it’s most 7 days a week for a full decade, and i just sometimes want to know i’ll be okay if i stop active treatment someday. But i don’t, and that’s what makes it suck so bad!! I try to be open as i can about it but sometimes it’s difficult to explain to people with mental illness that sometimes people can’t get better and it’s not just ‘giving up’ or ‘excusing symptoms.’ I work everyday to be a better person but i’m aware that it’s not going anywhere. It’s endlessly frustrating that whenever my mental health dips i get told ‘you just need to continue the work’ because it’s true! it’s so true, i need to keep working. but the work is not curing me, it’s just sustaining me, and that’s difficult. I just sometimes want a good week and i want to know it will be good in advance so i can enjoy it. And I want to take better care of myself, i do, but it’s just that self-care for a person like me has a lot of obstacles in the way. And i’m just trying to get through. I’m glad you can relate. It’s really tough to be treatment-resistant or chronic with mental health because mental illness is often treated as a disability you can and will overcome, but it’s just not true for everyone, and it’s tough trying to come to terms with what that means for the future.
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officiallralsei · 2 years
Text
ok since you all have been asking for it: here's my ramble/essay on Why Being A Darkner Sucks. also read this post by @tvlandofficial as a sort of starter introduction to my thoughts first since the op lays out most of the basics for me. sorry in advance for this being sorta disorganized and rambly; I slept very little last night so im just gonna blurt out my thoughts now and then maybe type up a neater and prettier version of them later for a more formal essay lol
so we all know that darkners are represented via objects in the light world. seam is a plushie, queen appears to be a specific program in a computer, lancer is a card, etc, etc. they don't appear to be aware that they are literally objects, mind, but they do believe that they exist to serve lightners and that without being useful they lack a reason to exist. a version of the toy story problem, if you will.
this is horrific for multiple reasons.
there's a lot of purely physical considerations. imagine being an object. if you break, do you have a guarantee someone will fix you? do you just have to deal with it if they don't fix you? (yes.) imagine your whole world and existence being represented by objects in a room. what if a higher being can just scoop you up and take you away from everything you've ever known? what if a higher being comes in and decides that, actually, they'd really like to smash you apart and leave you that way? or smash apart the room that is your world? you don't have a way to protest that.
then we get to the psychological. okay, so you, and everyone you know, purportedly get some level of fulfillment/satisfaction from being used. that's horrific on an ethical level (imagine being psychologically engineered to enjoy existing for someone else's benefit!) but also just horrific in general. what if being used burns you out or torments you in some way? is that possible? what if the beings you rely on to give you that satisfaction abandon you? can you even easily find happiness once those beings are gone? what would losing that purpose do to someone?
well, we get our answer, and we get it literally in spades! both the route bosses and the secret bosses deal HEAVILY with the consequences of potentially losing that purpose. spades king raging against the lightners, queen wishing to control them in some ways, jevil claiming that true freedom is found in his prison, spamton desperately and wretchedly trying to claw his way to heaven. and seam, also, with their worn body and extreme nihilism. losing the purpose that gives their lives meaning fucks a darkner up bad.
and losing that meaning... it's kind of inevitable! all objects break someday. this isn't a bad thing in the real world, since objects don't have people attached to them. we can just throw things out if we don't need them anymore. but to a darkner, this represents irreparable psychological suffering. we don't see much evidence that darkners know how to construct meaning for themselves. once the light abandons them, that's it. they're done. they can rage at it or claw at it to get it back, but ultimately, it's pretty futile. there's no escaping that fate.
so they're stuck at the whims of these higher beings. no way out of it, no real agency within it. even objects that are very loved will likely be abandoned or broken someday. look at seam! they appear to be someone's favorite plushie once upon a time! and now they're just a jaded old creature in their shop. being free of the lightners just means fading into despair. a darkner will be used, or it will lose all meaning. these two very terrible options are the only ones they have. they don't even get to pick which one they get.
there's also the level of horror that is the lightners' ignorance to all this! tvlandofficial has a really good take on it with their characterization of tenna: she worships toriel, but toriel is just a lady watching television. she doesn't know there's guys in there! and they don't know she's just an ordinary person! granted, this is a fanon take, but I think it's a really good one. it highlights the fact that the darkners are dependent on beings who are completely unaware of their existence.
(by the way, this has slowly become my favorite headcanon for why kris' side of the room doesn't have more than the bare minimum. I like the idea that kris found out about darkners, was freaked the hell out by the idea of their objects being people who are forced to serve them, and threw it all away in an attempt to liberate them. this is also the reason why the TV keeps getting unplugged - kris feels weird about using it and so unplugs it frequently. now this SUCKS as a method of liberation for reasons I've already outlined, but I quite like the idea that kris is a compassionate kid who doesn't have the best grasp on what they're doing. they canonically have a tendency to project their own struggle for agency re: the player onto other things, if the game's narration is anything to go by. they may have thought that simply stopping their usage of the objects would fix the problem, since the player stopping their possession would certainly help THEM.)
it sucks. there's no way out. ralsei, the character who seems to be the most aware of what his position as a darkner means (he knows about the light world's layout! he knows that darkners are objects! and he knows about the player!) appears to be pretty entrenched in justifying the horror inherent to his own existence, but I think it's a losing battle. being calm about unimaginable cruelty won't help you through it. it'll just blind you to your own suffering and the suffering of others. something's got to give. these characters have got to have agency.
and what will give them that?
well. I think that whatever method kris eventually finds to permanently break free of our control, they won't leave the darkners behind. someday, I'm certain, all of them will be free. what that means exactly is still up to the future of the story, but I'm very sure it'll happen. the implications of this world suck, kris' agency is a struggle that's centered, and it's reflected in the darkners. there's gonna be a payoff somewhere that frees them of their fates.
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favesgrave · 2 years
Text
Cut the Heroics
((Navigation))
((this is the last time i try posting this. if it doesnt show up in the tags then i give up))
---
The mood had been… a bit odd lately. Recovering the Omega Key and Smokescreen was of course a success, but the loss of the Star Saber was not. A weapon that powerful had shattered like glass next to Megatron’s and had brought Optimus down to his knees in defeat. It was chilling, none of them could deny that. They knew a weapon like that in Megatron’s hands would only bring forth more suffering.
Not all was lost though. One key was in their possession, while the other three were unaccounted for. If they had any luck left, then the Decepticons wouldn’t discover the true purpose of them.
Their work was definitely cut out for them. Optimus knew, and was diligent as ever with his decoding. Blurr would watch him, studying the speed of his typing with interest. If he knew anything about how the technology here worked, or anything about this universe in general, then maybe he could help. Sadly, he was still learning.
He stood near Arcee and Bulkhead, the three of them behind Smokescreen.
“I’m gonna be a great warrior someday,” he said, fully confident in himself. “Like Optimus.”
“Well, train hard and gain some wisdom along the way, and I’m sure it’ll happen,” Bulkhead encouraged. 
“Oh, it will.” Smokescreen turned to look at them, a smile on his face. “It’s my destiny.”
“What was that now?” Bumblebee asked in a way that reminded Blurr of his Bumblebee back home.
Blurr made a face. “Sorry, could you repeat that? Did you say your destiny?”
“How so?” Arcee asked and he was glad that someone was on his side.
Smokescreen remained unbothered by their skepticism. “Well, one minute I’m running security detail at Iacon, the next I wake up on the other side of the galaxy to find myself under Optimus’s command! I mean, what are the chances, right? Things happen for a reason!”
“Smokescreen, I believe the word you’re looking for is a coincidence,” Blurr stated. “Do you need me to define it for you?”
He rolled his optics at that. “Haha, hilarious, Blurr. I’m serious though!”
Arcee raised a hand, cutting him off to spare the rest of them. “We get it, Smokescreen. You’re special, we’re lucky to have you,” she said dryly. 
“I’m just saying! I’ve come a long way, and this is one opportunity I don’t plan on messing up.” He was being genuine about it, Blurr could tell. But Smokescreen was prone to rushing into things without thinking. Judging on what he’d seen so far, that could cost him his life. He’d already faked them out once before, Team Prime did not need to experience the real deal.
“Autobots,” Optimus said, putting a stop to the conversation. “The next Iacon coordinates have been decoded. Ratchet, ready the groundbridge.”
“Last one to the Omega Key has to scrub the energon tanks for a week!” Smokescreen said, right before dashing off to the groundbridge in a typical Smokescreen manner leaving Arcee to remark about how she didn’t know they were keeping score.
Optimus seemed to have other plans, however. “Arcee, Bumblebee, prepare to roll out.”
“You got it, Optimus,” Bee beeped, buzzing with energy.
“Wait, what about me?” Smokescreen questioned. Bulkhead rested his servos on his hips while Blurr crossed his arms.
“Excuse me, I think you’re forgetting Bulkhead and I!”
Smokescreen looked over, cringed slightly at his error, and then quickly amended it. “I mean me, Bulkhead, and Blurr.” He stole a quick glance at the two, who still weren’t thrilled about being glossed over, but looked slightly more appeased than they had a few moments prior. 
“The three of you will remain here in the event I am able to decode a subsequent database entry before the others return,” Optimus explained. With that out of the way, he turned his focus back to decoding and let Ratchet take over the conversation.
“Optimus is right. Considering the very fate of Cybertron is at stake, response time is critical.” Then he finally opened up the groundbridge for Arcee and Bumblebee, who stood at the ready.
“Keep your engines idling, kid.” Arcee had looked over at the younger mech, preparing a jab at him. “Come on Bee, destiny awaits.” The two transformed and rolled off into the bridge, leaving behind a disappointed Smokescreen. All that eagerness had been sucked out of him in an instant. Now he’d been left behind in the base, cooped up until it was his turn for a mission. As he moved closer to him, Blurr found that he could sympathize with that. He always felt the need to be doing something as well, even if it was as meaningless as tapping his pede.
“We call it a pit stop,” Bulkhead said, proceeding to give Smokescreen a hard clap on the back that knocked him forward and made Blurr jump. He knew it was just Bulkhead being Bulkhead, but he also knew that if he ever got hit like that by the green mech, it would send him smackdown into the floor. He would like to avoid that scenario. He also thought about how Bulkhead was a bit of a hugger, with a very, very strong grip. Humans called it a bear hug. 
“I know you mean well Bulkhead but please never do that to me or hug me because I want to avoid getting crushed by you.“
Bulkhead laughed as he looked down at him. “Don’t worry, I’m smart enough to know not to try any of that. You’re not built like the rest of us.”
“You’re all very different from me, that’s true,” Blurr nodded. 
“So… is everyone as short as you back in your universe?” Smokescreen said, doing some thinking aloud. 
“No,” Blurr fixed him with a glare. “Autobots can vary in height following a certain range, though there are some exceptions such as Omega Supreme, but since most of us aren’t warframes like the Decepticons we tend to be much smaller than our opponents. It’s never a problem for civilians since they rarely ever encounter Decepticons considering the Tyrest Accord.”
Smokescreen and Bulkhead shared a look. “What’s the Tyrest Accord?”
“It’s what ended the war! The Decepticons were given a pardon for their actions during the war as long as they agreed to their exile from Cybertron. I can’t be surprised that you don’t know of it since your war never ended though that brings me to my own question; Once you revive Cybertron, what are your plans after that regarding the Decepticons? What’s stopping them from killing the planet all over again?”
There wasn’t an answer for a few seconds. “Sounds like an Optimus question,” Bulkhead said. “Or maybe a Ratchet one.”
The plan, as far as they knew, was that there was no plan. They’d never imagined getting a chance like this to revive their dead homeworld, not in a million years. For everyone’s sake, Blurr hoped they figured it out soon.
The last thing he wanted was to see Cybertron burn.
After all, the nightmares of it were already horrifying enough.
---
Not too long later, Arcee and Bumblebee stepped through the bridge covered in fresh scratches and holding no relic. Any doubt of them failing their mission had been erased as Ratchet ushered them both to the med-bay.
Another victory that was lost to the Decepticons, but their hope hadn’t been eliminated yet.
But they still had one key. They just had to hold onto that one. If they did that, then they could still hold onto their chance.
“While our quest to restore our planet may have reached a stalemate, securing the remaining keys is still the most prudent course of action.” As usual, Optimus spoke only facts.
And to no one’s surprise, Smokescreen wasn’t the most skilled at reading the room. “Man, it must’ve been crazy with Knockout going all sonic. Ugh, I wish I’d been there! I would’ve-“
“Would’ve what?” Arcee cut in, her wings flattened to her back as she glared at him. “Recover the key like you did the first one?”
“Maybe,” Smokescreen said. “Who knows? I just want us to be firing at all cylinders! You know, now that the Star Saber’s gone. And I have a pretty good track record so far.” 
Arcee scoffed and pushed herself to her pedes, stalking past him silently. Blurr watched, silently pondering on whether or not he should go after her. She had comforted him when he needed it, was it his turn to do the same? Arcee seemed to like her space, and he didn’t want to intrude on that. He didn’t actually know the first thing about comforting a bot. So, he stayed where he was.
“Look kid,” Blurr tuned back into the conversation to listen to Bulkhead begin to speak. “Arcee and Bumblebee are no slouches, and Optimus managed just fine for eons without the big sword. ‘Course you wouldn’t know about that, you’ve been locked in stasis the whole time we’ve been fighting this war.”
Blurr didn’t exactly know about any of that either, but it went without saying that he got a pass.
“Exactly!” Smokescreen agreed, like someone was finally getting it. “And I’m ready to make up for lost time!”
“When Optimus says you’re ready,” Bulkhead shot back. “You gotta be in this for the long haul. Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Not necessarily,” Blurr said. Speed had always gotten the job done for him… for better or for worse. It’d almost cost him his mission back on Earth with that whole street-racing scheme. He still hated thinking about it. 
“Sometimes, you gotta live life in the slow lane,” Bulkhead told him, ignoring the face he made. That sounded like an actual nightmare for him, so they would have to agree to disagree indefinitely on that one.
There wasn’t much more that could be said, on account of the familiar beeping that rang through the base. “The next Iacon coordinates are ready,” Optimus announced.
“There remains one set left to decode,” Ratchet said. He put in the required coordinates to give them a fix on the location, then pulled the switch that brought the groundbridge to life. 
“On it boss,” Bulkhead said.
“I’m gonna bring back that key,” Smokescreen promised. He took one look at Arcee, who looked skeptical but didn’t comment on it.
“Uh, Bulk?” she called out. Once he turned around, she held up the tracker for the relic. “Forgetting something?” He stared for a short moment before facepalming and shuffling on over to take the tracker. As Blurr passed them by to join Smokescreen, he couldn’t help but listen in as the two exchanged words, something about keeping an eye on destiny’s child. It didn’t take a genius to know Arcee meant Smokescreen.
Blurr was stopped by the voice of a red and blue “Blurr, I would like to request that you remain here.”
“What? With all due respect Optimus Prime sir, I can’t see the reason for me staying behind when there could be a larger advantage with me going, especially after the last attempt of grabbing an Omega Key went wrong, which I don’t mean any offense to Bumblebee and Arcee.”
“I understand your argument…” Optimus gave a nod to Bulkhead, telling him that he and Smokescreen could go. “Though I have my own concerns. While your quick-thinking has demonstrated to be useful in the heat of battle, you are still new to war.” Blurr’s face dropped at that. So Arcee had been right when she said everyone else had probably figured it out. He knew it would happen eventually, but he would have liked to be at least a bit more ready. “With Megatron’s power growing, there is no doubt his attempts to retrieve the Omega Keys will prove to be more harrowing. I will not put you in that danger.”
Blurr gaped up at him. “So are you saying that I’m not allowed to go on any more missions and that I’m confined to base?” He could practically already feel the claustrophobia setting in.
“No,” he answered. “I believe you need to learn more knowledge of our world before you are ready to engage in more perilous missions.” He would prefer not to send him into the field at all considering how young he was, but knew Blurr wouldn’t accept that. He was stubborn, after all.
“I can see the logic behind your reasoning,” Blurr admitted. “Will I be given datapads to read from or learn from a teacher?” His first guess was Ratchet since Optimus was too busy at the moment, and the medic was the second most knowledgeable Autobot they had.
“I think it would be best to use both methods,” Optimus said, looking in another direction. Blurr followed his optics, which landed on Arcee. That was a surprise, but a welcome one. “I have already discussed it with Arcee, and she has agreed to give you a few lessons. I suggest you begin now.” He nodded down at him and left him to join up with Arcee.
“Are you sure you’re willing to do this right now? If you’re injured, then you should rest to recover because not doing so could possibly worsen your wounds,” he chided.
Arcee chuckled. “I’m just a little sore, don’t worry. Come on,” she said and started down the hall. “Tell me what you learned in your Elite Guard.”
“Well before even joining the Guard, I had to go through training at Autobot Boot Camp where my platoon and I learned all the necessary skills any talented Autobot should know and my speed naturally made me stick out among my peers, giving me my name and allowing me to move onto the Autobot Academy which is a more prestigious institution where most Elite Guardsmen start out, with some exceptions.”
“You got your name from boot camp?”
“Of course! Most Autobots do,” he said. “I take your outrage as a sign of things being different here.”
“Sometimes we’re given names, but we’re allowed to choose our own names too,” she said. “Back on Cybertron before the war, there were lower caste bots who weren't ever given real names. And they chose them for themselves.” 
A caste system? It suddenly occurred to Blurr how little he actually knew about this universe’s Cybertron, besides the fact that it was dead. “Would you mind elaborating?” 
Her optics widened slightly, like she thought he had misspoke, but she obliged. Different universes meant different circumstances. “Cybertron had three classes. High, middle, and lower. Lower class belonged to the manual laborers, like miners and haulers. The caste system is the reason the war broke out in the first place. A miner-turned-gladiator started giving speeches, gaining a following…”
“Megatron,” Blurr guessed, feeling uneasy just saying his name. He hadn’t forgotten the cruel look in his optics, or the way he threatened to slice Arcee in half. He wouldn’t ever forget any of that. But what scared him most of all was the fact Megatron knew that there was something that marked Blurr as different from the rest of the Autobots. He wanted to have a little chat about it, but Megatron’s definition of a chat was more likely some kind of torture session, one Blurr wanted zero part of.
Arcee had nodded, confirming his theory. “It didn’t take long for the war to break out after that.” She stopped in front of a wide, empty room. This was supposed to be an old human base, so Blurr could only wonder what they used to cram in here. “What kind of training did they teach you?”
“Most of it was all battlefield simulations to sharpen our ability to think fast while in combat, but there were occasions where we would be put into pairs to spar or on teams to compete against each other. They would test us often in order to rank our strengths and weaknesses and those results would all factor into courses, sometimes increasing difficulty levels on assignments.”
“I can work with that,” she said. “But ‘Cons fight dirty. It’s not going to be like a simulation. It’s not fair, but we still have a few things that can even the odds. The Apex Armor, the Immobilizer, the Polarity Gauntlet, the Spark Extractor,” she listed. His optics widened at the last one. “Some we use only if we have to, but this is a war we’re outnumbered in. We have to do what we need to to survive. But, I’ll take a guess and say you don’t have any of those relics back home.” When he shook his head, she went into a quick summary that covered the basics of each weapon, but promised there was a more in depth version written down. “I’ll give you the datapads later.”
“When I first arrived here and told you about how your alternate self was a teacher you were very dismissive of the idea but look at you now,” Blurr said.
“Don’t push it,” she said, without any real venom in her tone. “Optimus thought I’d be a good match to train you.”
“Because we’re both small,” he said. He had been taller than his universe’s Bumblebee, but now he barely reached this one’s hips. If his Bumblebee ever saw, he would hold that over him while also despairing over the fact that he couldn’t be as tall as his other self. He hadn’t known him for that long, but he was a slightly annoying bot, so it seemed about right. Despite a few lapses in judgment, his spark was in the right place. He at least had that going for him. 
He pushed Bumblebee out of mind to focus on the lesson. He didn’t have a clue why he’d even been thinking of him in the first place, maybe it’d just been homesickness.
“Being small will get you underestimated,” Arcee continued. It’s what some of his instructors would repeat to all their students. “So use that to your advantage. Your speed’s already a good start, it can let you take down your opponent before they even know what hit them.”
He took half a second to think about what she said. “When you say ‘take down’ you mean kill, don’t you?”
She looked away from him. That in itself was already an answer. “Sometimes there isn’t a choice,” she said quietly. “And I hope you never get put in that position... I mean that.”
He believed her, he really did. But he remembered the way the Autobots had gunned down those Decepticons that had been after him the first day he arrived in this strange universe. There’d been no hesitation there, even from Smokescreen, who was pretty green as far as combat experience went. He was already preparing for the day he’d have to make that same life or death choice.
They both received a message from Ratchet, informing them that Bulkhead and Smokescreen were about to return.
“Guess lesson’s over for today,” Arcee said. She left the room to rejoin Ratchet and Optimus, and Blurr took that as his cue to follow. By the time they’d gotten there, Smokescreen and Bulkhead had already come back… neither of them carrying an Omega Key. They’d just finished explaining what had happened to Optimus and Ratchet, Smokescreen in particular looking like his pride had been beaten down.
“What happened?” Arcee asked.
“Smokescreen was sucker-punched.” Blurr’s optics widened at that. Who’d been fast enough to get the drop on him? “Could’ve happened to any of us.” Bulkhead tried to comfort him with his words and put a servo on the kid’s shoulder, but got shoved away.
“But it didn’t,” Smokescreen said. “Because I was the one who dropped his guard. I was the one who blew it. Some great warrior I’m turning out to be,” he said under his breath.
Arcee didn’t take that lightly. “You still don’t get it, do you? A couple of victories aren’t gonna make you a legend, and not every mission results in success. Not for me, not for Bee, not even for Optimus.” Blurr noticed Optimus glance over at his team at the mention of his name. His optics darted away from his leader and back to the others in a panic. Something was about to happen, and he had the feeling it wasn’t going to be good.
 “We’ve gained some relics and we’ve lost some. We’ve also lost friends. We’ve even lost a world!” she snapped at him. “But this is one time we get a do-over. We have a chance to bring back Cybertron and everyone in this room needs to be in sync. This isn’t about you or your destiny.” Smokescreen didn’t have any snappy comeback at the ready, only dropping his gaze to the floor. 
Optimus finally fully faced them all. “Arcee, you’ve made your point.” 
“Optimus, he needs to hear this. You might actually become a great warrior someday, and I sincerely hope that you do. But greatness begins and ends with putting the team first, not your personal scorecard.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you guys!” Smokescreen insisted.
“Then stop trying to be a hero and start being an Autobot,” she finished firmly.
Smokescreen looked to Optimus, maybe hoping for him to defend him, but he only got silence. Silence from Optimus, and silence from the rest of the team. “You know what? Maybe I’m just not good enough,” he snapped. Before anyone else could get another word in, he transformed and sped out of the base.
“Maybe next time Optimus advises you to stop, perhaps you should listen,” Ratchet suggested. Blurr felt a shred of sympathy for Smokescreen for getting chewed out by Arcee like that. She would make a good drill sergeant back home.
“I’ll bring him back.” Bulkhead took a step forward, but a servo placed on his chest by Optimus stopped him.
“Smokescreen is young, Bulkhead, and has much to learn. But right now, he needs to clear his thoughts. And I need to finish decoding the final Iacon entry.”
The final one.
The whole time Blurr had been here, it’d been all about the Iacon relics. What was supposed to come after that? They couldn’t just jump on over to Cybertron, considering they only possessed one key. Retrieving the other two from the Decepticons would be no easy task, considering they had a warship. Blurr was not feeling confident in their odds, but tried to keep quiet about that.
“Think the kid’ll be okay?” Bulkhead asked worriedly.
“He’ll get over it,” Bumblebee said. “Just give him a bit of space.”
Blurr wished he could be as optimistic as Bumblebee was, but his anxiety was telling him that there was still something wrong and the worst wasn’t over. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Yeah, that had to be it.
“Smokescreen’s a very confident and proud bot so one loss such as this will feel like the end of the world to him,” Blurr commented. Then, he realized he had not helped things and winced internally before trying to lighten the mood again. “But I’m sure Bumblebee’s right and that he’ll bounce back in no time!”
“We’ll see…” Bulkhead said.
There was at least some good news as Optimus told the others the final relic entry had been decoded.
“Has it?” Ratchet questioned, staring at a blank screen. It switched to reveal a clump of scattered blue pixels, but it was hard to tell what exactly it meant. Maybe it meant nothing and the file was somehow corrupted. 
“Hm… Perhaps it is a second encryption,” Optimus said. 
Red pixels gradually began to join the blue ones and as Blurr took a closer look, his optics widened. “They seem to be revealing some sort of image, maybe something along the lines of a map as an extra precaution but the more I look at it, the more it looks like a bot!”
“The relic’s a bot?” Bulkhead asked.
“How would that make any sense?” Ratchet said, ever the skeptic. “It’s the fourth Omega Key, it has to be a key as well.”
Optimus’s frown deepened. “I trust that Alpha Trion had his reasons.” 
Once the pixels finally finished assembling, the image was revealed to be…
“Smokescreen?” Bulkhead managed, wondering if he was seeing things wrong. The picture was undeniably him.
Arcee narrowed her optics. “Is this that hot shot’s idea of a joke?” 
“I don’t think he could pull something like this off,” Bumblebee said, and Blurr found himself agreeing.
“Maybe he knows where the key is!” Bulkhead tried, though even he knew that was a long shot.
“And not say anything to any of us? That doesn’t add up!” Blurr interjected. 
“A more likely possibility is that Smokescreen himself somehow is the key without knowing it,” Ratchet said. If they had decoded the final entry by now, then the Decepticons must’ve too. That meant they would have their sights set on him by now.
Blurr hated whenever his anxiety ended up being right.
“Whatever the case, Smokescreen could be in grave danger.” Optimus raised a digit to his commlink and attempted to summon him back, but there was only radio silence.
“He may have deactivated his commlink,” Ratchet said.
“Locate his position and prepare the groundbridge.” Even in a crisis, Optimus still maintained a levelhead. Blurr supposed that’s just one of the things that millions of years of what would get you as a leader.
The urgency of the situation was slowly setting in for everyone. It took mere seconds for Ratchet to get a fix on his signal that was moving rapidly down the roads of Jasper, Nevada. Until suddenly, it came to an abrupt stop. The bridge opened a moment later and the team, minus Ratchet, raced on through. Blurr nearly followed after them until he remembered his orders of staying behind on missions. If there were Decepticons there, then he was sure this counted as one of those times.
Begrudgingly, he stuck by Ratchet. 
His spark nearly gave out when he saw Smokescreen’s signal vanish from the screen. “Is he-?!”
“No,” Ratchet said quickly. “The Decepticons wouldn’t slaughter him so quickly knowing what we do. Since I can no longer track Smokescreen’s signal, then I fear he’s been taken prisoner aboard their ship.”
Another loss to the Decepticons.
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sketchfanda · 5 months
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A Little Moxie Love:Gavin's Mom has got It Going On!!
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Springfield was that kind of town in a sense if you were to ask certain different people their opinions about it. Those who were born and lived there couldn't imagine being anywhere else but they sure as hell will complain about its problems. America's trash hole, the worst city around, just among the few nicknames and terms which came to mind with this pissant little town. For one woman of course Springfield and its issues were the least of her worries.
Now our lovely little ditz here, let's call her oooh I dunno Cakes, as in because she looked like a real piece of hot cakes, i mean you see that ass she's got packed away in these jeans?!! Anyways Cakes here was just parking her mini-van after having just returned from a grocery store run as she unpacked and began to haul her purchaes inside. A deadpan hum thinking of course Gavin or Caitlin wouldn't be bothered off their lazy asses to come around and consider helping her out. But really what else could she expect from those two, especially Gavin?
Well besides his being his usual pain in the ass self, calling her an idiot and what not but chalk it up to the choices she made in her youth. Choices that she was still dealing with the consequences of as she opened her front door to step inside, calling out her return to her kids, puzzled yet unsurprised to get nothing in the way of a response. No doubt Caitlin was busy chatting away on the phone or Gavin was likely being a rude little shit on one of those online games of his. One of these days she swears that attitude of his was going to get him in a hell of a lot of trouble.
Little did she know of course at this very moment, a hell of a lot of trouble had come Gavin's way in the form of the killer for hire misfits known as I.M.P., Yeah let's just say someone in hell had wanted to see that little shitstain and his sister dead.....well a lot of someones, christ it'd been a whole group that if they had them line up, it would've gone around the block, twice!! Long story short, it was a direct enough kind of job, get into the living world, find the two spoiled rotten brats and murder their asses!! It just so happened Mama Hotcakes had come back home just as they were in the midst of disposing of the bodies as the upstairs bathroom looked as bloody and messy as a slaughterhouse as Loona stood by the door keeping a lookout. Her ears twitching, nose flaring as she picked up the sound and scent indicating they had a witness situation pending.
Loona:*looks up from her browsing on her phone as she peeked out the door, looking back to her co-workers as they hunched and loomed over the blood filled tub.* "Hey Blitz, we got a situation. I think the mom just came home so ya know, fyi, she sees this shit? She's gonna freak the fuck out..."
Blitzo:*dressed in hazmat wear, as were Moxxie and Millie as they were hacking up the bodies and using bleach, salt and acid to melt them down. The clients were very thorough and distinct in how they wanted these little shits handled.*"Oh come the fuck on!! I thought we had her routine down!!"*waves around Gavin's skinned off skull, identifiable by his greasy shithead hair with its rat-tail pony tail. Moxxie giving him a deadpan glance behind the visor of his helm.*
Moxxie:"No, sir we didn't. You just said we were gonna go in and quote unquote ''Fuck these little rats up and let God sort them out!!". This wasn't all that well planned out in advance, we got lucky their mother was out at the time..."*Somedays it's a wonder their organization saw business with a former circus clown running things. Not that he would be bothered saying that to Blitzo's face, he was NOT in the mood for another of the former circus kid's wise-ass remarks about his manhood or lack of. For anyone who's been reading this story so far all very well know he wasn't lacking, no sir he was packing!! But I digress...*
Blitzo:"Okay criticism noted and ignored Moxxie, can't be helped so good on you for volunteering!!*That set off a few red flags in Moxxie's brain. Just his luck, his employer was once again looking to go along with a gut impulse instinct. he had to think and act fast. Otherwise this job might go more south than that whole springbreak fiasco, he was NOT a possum thank you!!*
Moxxie:"Wait volunteering for what?"*As he passed on some parts here and there to Millie who dunked them into the tub and stirred away. The chemicals working their way into melting down bone, viscera and skin. Pretty soon there'd be no bodies to find and Gavin and his sister would be likely already down in Hell pending punishment. Hey equal opportunity damnation, right?*
Blitzo:"Why running interference and distraction of course! Get out of those duds, pour on the charm and distract that Karen long as possible. I think this is gonna take us a while, knew that guy who sold me this bonesaw was lying. Cut through a human femur in 30 seconds my horny little ass!!
Moxxie:"but sir-!!"*Despite efforts otherwise, Moxxie couldn't even get a chance to protest as Blitzo pulled the hazmat suit off of him and threw him out into the corridor outside of the bathroom. Looks like the boss made up his mind so now he had to keep Cakes from being a witness by any means necessary, Millie shooting him an apologetic glance while Loona just shot him a thumbs up. Well this was likely to go one of two ways, the most likely being she sees him and mistakes him for a possum. Which would result in her screaming, wailing on him with a broom and try to kill him but time to see how fortune smiled today.*
Sighing as he shrugged his shoulders, the imp made his way to the stairs to go intercept the single mom, who paused half way up on her journey there as she indeed laid eyes on him. An awkward silence occurring naturally as the pair stared at each other, the imp certainly had to say, far as suburban moms went, this gal was more than easy on the eyes that was for sure. You couldn't really tell she'd even had two kids. But of course a part of his brain did remind him that it was time for the other shoe to inevitably drop as she finally spoke up.
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Cakes:"Are you the gigolo I was expecting?"*That question seemingly out of nowhere threw the imp for a loop that was for sure. He wasn't sure how or why, of course, unaware that indeed the MILF had indeed been expecting such a thing. Until he remembered that indeed, they had on their way here from Imp City to the living world, wound up falling from the portal in the sky on top of some guy who looked like a male stripper. Leave it to Blitzo to be hasty reading the dimensional travel spell but least he had the bright idea to just tie the guy up and leave him behind the bushes.*
Moxxie:*Deciding he had to whatever was necessary, just shrugged and decided to go along with humor her presumption. It wasn't like he could pass for a Gigolo anyways but not according to Millie and a few others who'd think he put legit ones to shame. She'd likely think it was a prank or the agency pulled some false advertising then likely go Karen on them and call to complain, asking for the manager to provide her a refund. Speaking up as he finally replied.*"Yeah sure that's me alright...baby..."
Cakes:*Not noticing Moxxie wince at that cringey bit of cheesiness feeling like his sack of shit old man there (Seriously Crimson go fuck yourself), seemed to perk and bright up.* "Well wasn't expecting you so soon that's for sure. Weird costume but hey kind of a turn on. Doesn't seem like my kids are home so let's not waste anytime since you're here on the hour."*That threw the imp for another loop, she seriously believed him? Blinking as she scrambled up the stairs, grabbing and pulling Moxxie by his hand, following behind her due to momentum. And getting quite a view of her backside, seeing how tight those denim jeans hugged her legs, especially around that applebottomed ass of hers. Which only helped to distract him as he found himself taken into what he could only assume was her bedroom.*
Moxxie:"Oooh crumbs...."*Was about all he could manage to say as the milf didn't bother to lock her door, assuming it was just the two of them with her kids out and nobody else to bother them. The imp knowing full well said kids were dead and being disposed of by his co-workers in the bathroom. It was a miracle they didn't leave much of the house looking like a crime scene as he watched the single hot mama kick off her shoes and ditch her leather jacket and lime green cap. Showing off she had quite the toned body no doubt from a lot of exercise and yoga a woman her age would be into before she suddenly picked him up and placed him back flat on the bed.*
Cakes:"Now that I get a better look at you, you may not look like the kind of guy I'd see in sports illustrated but youu definitely are too cute to pass up."*The blondey quipped playfully and sensually, looming over the small imp making him feel cornered. He had to admit, this wasn't as scarousing fear boner inducing encounter like that whole fiasco with Martha before he found her peeling off his coat, followed by undoing and removing his shirt and tie. The milf purring as she found his comapct frame to be rather toned and nice to the touch.*"The whole bodypaint cosplay is a neat gimmick too, especially the horns, now then let's see what you're pack-"*Whatever Cakes was about to say was halted as she finished getting off his pants and bxoers, eyes widening and jaw dropping at the sight of Moxxie's erect length and girth.*"....Oh....My...God..."
Moxxie:"Uhm....should've warned you I'm kind of a grower...."*The imp tried to explain and reassure the hot mama before he gasped and groaned at her suddenly grasping his cock. Stroking it in her silky palm and fingers as her expression of shock gave way to awe followed by rising ecstasy. Biting her lower lip sensually as she rubbed her denim clad thighs together, feeling a goddamn waterfall flow between her legs as any and every man she'd been with prior became fading memories. The imp stud soon finding her plant licks and kisses on his shaft from tip to base, outright worshipping his balls with her tongue as she lubed him up with her drool before soon practically making herself suffocate as she proceeded to perform fellatio.*
The blonde bombshell just couldn't help herself, like some switch had been flipped inside her brain, setting her off into a bitch in heat mode that made her want to suck and blow on this cock. Rubbing her denim covered camel toe as she felt her pussy radiate with stickyness and warmth as if calling for her to get on letting this shortstack stud fuck her. Rut her like he wanted to put a baby in her and for the Love of all that was holy raise them right this time!! A thought that got louder in volume as her eyes burnt with a rising lust and she took in inch after inch of this long, thick womb hammering veiny piece of pussy pounding heaven, his sounds of arousal music to her ears.
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Whatever doubts or hesitation Moxxie had before about having to, as Blitzo put it, run interference pretty much went south thanks to the intense thirsty blowjob this hot sexy mama was giving him. Her saliva practically drowning his shaft as her tongue lapped up his flowing pre as She unknowingly ticked off a few boxes in Moxxie’s sexual checklist. It was a little fact that only a few select women knew about Their favourite alpha male and it was that the raw desire and pleasure provided by a bitch that was clearly horny for him really turned him on. And this tall, blonde drink of water was really making him want to primal on her…and of course that was what he proceeded to do!!
Cakes:”OOOOOOOOH Fuuuuuuuuuuuck me fuckfuckfuck oh fuck me daddy fuck me fuck me hard!!”*Was about all the single mama that could definitely give Stacy’s mom a run for her money could say in between moaning and screaming in ways that there was no way the whole neighbourhood couldn’t hear them. That is when she could remember to use words let alone form sentences as many a female passer by or neighbour of varying legal sexual age and prime felt turned in and so envious, wondering why they couldn’t get that lucky. Making the men some of them had feel shameful and inadequate while the sexy bitch in heat continued to get pounded by Moxxie’s natural sexual lethal weapon doggy style, biting the grasping the sheets of her bed for dear life. The clapping of her asscheeks against that jackhammering imp’s pelvis as his length and girth ensured no other man was ever going to cut it when it came to satisfying her.*
Moxxie”Seeet unholy whore of Babylon…”*The imp couldn’t help but mumble, grunting as he continued to hammer away into the blonde bombshell’s pussy. Her naked body glistening with a sheen of sweat as the bed shook and creaked from how intense and wildly they were fucking. Knowing at this point that it was clear it’d been way, WAY too long since this woman had actually been sexually satisfied, so of course even it meant having to plow away until his balls ran dry, she had to so well fucked that she felt like she’d see God!! Or at least be knocked out long enough for the others to finish up with getting rid of the bodies and make their escape.*
Fuck her he certainly did, from massaging her juicy hips as she rode him cowgirl style, hearts glowing in her eyes as her bimbo airhead like brain became flooded with pleasure, to having this imp continue to rock her suburban mom world as he pinned her in between a mating press and a piledriver, working her insides like some erotic butter churn. And she was loving every damn second of it that she was actually forgetting she had kids for the time being, christ she thinks she mayve actually been falling in love, or was it just lust? Not that it ell mattered right now as the pair went at it in ways that were putting pornstars to shame, seconds going into minutes which woild become hours unaware they were being watched of course. Millie and Loona watching on with voyeuristic delight as their stud once again gave another needy slut a taste of vitamins Mox, the hellhound catching videos and pictures on her phone.
Blitzo:*pokes his head out from the bathroom door, steam coming out as as he worked away on the disposal and cleaning of the evidence.*”Hey is Moxxie done yet? The little shits’ corpses are pretty much non existent and I’ve been cleaning this bathroom of evidence so much the bitch coild be able to see herself on the floor!” *Yes indeed the disposal had been long since completed, the bathroom sparkling clean bar the equipment gathered up in the corner. The head honcho of IMP not quite picking up the telltale sounds of Moxxie’s ongoing sexual marathon with the brats’ hot mama. Somedays the guy could be denser than Mammon’s rotund stomach.*
Loona:*Rubbing her soaking wet thighs together, tail wagging as she and Millie continued watching the live porn show. Already thinking of her own oending fun times with her imp daddy after this gig that’s for sure.*”Oh yeah, the bitch is really…putting up a fight, he’s really got to go John wick on her….”*She lied unconvincingly BUt given being deadpan snarky and monotone tended to be her default mood set, of course her adopted dad would fall for it. He was the kind of guy you’d be able to sell a boat in the desert to.*
Millie:”Oh yeah it’s a violent fight, who knew a soccer mom could be so vicious….”*Leave it to Millie of course with that sincere country accent of hers to add to the bluff. Licking her lips at watching the air headed hottie’s thicc, toned tits and ass jiggle and shake as she became an addict for her man’s dick. Somedays coming to the living world was always fun because you never knew what sexy slurs and bitches could get lucky meeting her husband. It was hot and sexy as all fuck.*
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Blitzo of course ought that load of tripe easily enough, shrugging his shoulders as h decided to give their crime scenes another clean over, including the brats’ rooms. Helping himself to looting some of their stuff of course, some living world material could sell for a mint back in hell, especially in the greed ring. The foursome finally making their escape after Moxxie finally called done on his “interference run”, clothes a bit messy due to hastily dressing back up. Sure he was a mess but not compared to Cakes, who was left in what remained of her bed, soaked with sweat and sex juices and a blissful smile on her face.
She’d almost wake up thinking it might have been a dream had it not been for the business card Millie had left in her night stand. Which of course provided Moxxie’s cellphone number and email, sealed with a kiss by the wrath shortstack hinting that her little gigolo wouldn’t and didn’t need to be a one off. Suffice to say, the sexy single mama was already looking forward to it, as she had herself quite an enjoyable shower, playing with herself as she fantasies about the gigolo who rocked her world. Wearing fresh set of her usual ensemble as she looked herself in the mirror, dare she be narcissistic but damn she was looking better than usual.
So much so that she got an idea as she took some naughty selfies, one flashing a tit and the other mooing the camera with her bubble butt as she sent them to Moxxie, adding his number to her contacts. This was definitely going to Something to talk about with her gal pals as she got out and drove out in her ride. Idly wondering, why did she have a mini-van……ah well. Yes indeed Moxxie had fucked her so well she forgot she was even a mom…..at leas for maybe another 9 months assuming he didn’t leave a bun in her oven. If not then well that could be arranged. For IMP it had been just another job…for Millie, it was her man once again proving he was an absolute unit stud.
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rosy-fox-art · 1 year
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Ok🙏🏻 So, this isn’t going to be an easy post, but I think it’s worth saying something because it affects me, and I’m not sure someone else will.
I’ve seen a lot of interpretations of Heart’s blinding as a either a narrative or literal punishment for his attempt to shoot mind. Either Mind blinds him or Soul does. I’m not calling anyone out in particular, I’ve just seen them floating around.
But as a legally blind person (I have oculocutanious albinism which means I am photosensitive and my visual acuity is 20/200), I have slowly realized that these reads in particular are playing into a harmful trope of ‘karmic disability’ and have slowly made me uncomfortable. The trope is essentially that a character is ‘punished’ with a disability for doing something wrong (it is wrong to assume a disability is a punishment in the first place).
I figure that people do not mean to play into a trope or cause harm, etc. I figure that this sort of thing just makes for more ‘ interesting’ fan content. It’s dramatic and spicy and maybe even fun to write. I’ve been there and done that. But it doesn’t serve to push aside the problem, either. So, I guess if anything I’m making this post just to make people aware of it. And of course, not all people who cannot see well or at all will agree with me or be made uncomfortable. We are not a monolith.
I would also like to clarify that I am aware that as far as cannon is concerned, Heart’s blindness is metaphorical. That all we truly know is that he wears a blindfold, and not necessarily the condition of his eyes. However, it is extremely easy to read him as blind or disabled when it comes to fan content. And it’s the fan content alone that I’m talking about, here. Nothing within the album itself . I also know these are not the only interpretations. That some people have very nuanced reads to deal with a very nuanced situation. Far be it from me to police the interpretations of others . This isn’t an everyone problem. You’re welcome to ignore me and move on with your day, especially if this doesn’t really apply to you.
As for what you decide, then, to have be the cause of hearts blindness is up to you. There is nothing wrong with him simply being born like that. People like that exist. Though I know it is not as ‘exciting’ to write about or draw, etc… I typically have it as having been done by himself in order to play into the seeming ‘willful’ blindness and also give him some sort of agency over himself, as not to play into victimizing him. But that’s just me.
I’ve honestly been wanting to talk about handling Heart’s blindness in fan content for a while now, as it’s very personal to me considering I have to deal with some of the challenges posed by it irl haha… maybe I will do so in a more light hearted fashion someday in terms of mobility aids and whatnot. My ask box is always open. So sorry for the abnormally heavy post. I’m not gonna lie, I was very nervous to make it…
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hees-mine · 12 days
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dear hees mine,
i've been an avid reader if your fics since playtime and there was a time when i would long onto tumblr just to read another part. your writing stood out to me because it was different, your plots were different and your writing was mature. i've read all your fics and of course, playtime is my favorite. it hurts me to see you go but it hurts more to know there's nothing i can do about it. i would tell you to ignore the people in your inbox, but as a fellow writer, i know that's easier said than done. i've seen so many asks over your blog which simply ask 'part 2?' or 'is there gonna be part 2?' and each time i've seen them i always felt bad. those people, aren't even praising, they just think if you like a robot who simply exists to manufacture fics and cater to their needs. people don't realize how much difference some words can make. if someone had asked "hi i loved xxxx and i really liked when xxxx i was wondering if there was gonna be another part to it? no pressure though" then it would've made some change because then you know that the person genuinely enjoyed your writing and appreciates it. my blog is small and i don't receive many asks so i don't know how you feel. but i do know how gross and disgusting it might feel when you open your inbox and it's just a bunch of people demanding another part. there's nothing i can do to make you stay even if i want to. but if there's a chance you ever come back, i might go off anon and send an ask genuinely. ik there's nothing i can do to change your decision, but i hope that someday in the near future you click back into your account and even if you don't write, i'll still log in to hear from you. your blog means comfort to me. i hope you take care and lead a healthy life. i hope all your dreams come true and you surround yourself with beautiful and kind people.
with love, someone on the internet
My heart🥺🩵 you’re gonna make me cry
Thank you for thinking so highly of my writing it really means a lot to me and I’m so happy to hear you’ve been with me for this long
Exactly the whole ignoring of the inbox thing is like the most difficult thing to do
See you get it and I think it might only be a feeling a writer can understand is that after a while of constantly being asked for a part two it does really make you feel like a robot it feels that they don’t see you as a person who spends their time writing for others for free
It’s just like perform for me while I give you absolutely no incentive to perform
The fact that even my other anons and readers were also noticing that was being asked about part twos so often is really telling I think a reader of mine actually kinda made a joke about it cause that’s just how much it was happening
Exactly it was not so much the asking for part two it was the way it was happening and that’s what I think most people don’t realize which is why (not saying other people can’t understand it) I think it’s mainly writers who feel this way is because we know what really goes into it
You may think it’s just writing but it’s more than that it’s us putting ourselves out here and this is a bit off topic
But I’ve received death threats for sharing a fic to the internet while many enjoy it some don’t and these are some of the things that I’ll list writers go through maybe to give a little more insight
First you have to gain the courage to share a fantasy with people on tumblr you’re basically anonymous on here but it can be a little nerve wrecking to post something a little more taboo or maybe you’re just scared to post in general(which my blog leans towards the taboo side and if you wrote that you’re bound to be talked about) posting playtime took a lot of courage from my end but luckily It was received well for the most part
Second and this one isn’t really a big deal but I know some of us find it difficult to make headers and we tend to take a lot of time on that so even though it’s just a picture it does take time to arrange it the way that is pleasing to our eyes
Third naming a fic can also take time
Fourth touching back on the subject of what to post you’re going to receive backlash and if you’re sensitive for lack of a better word it will take a toll on you
Fifth not everyone is going to like you which is fine but just get ready for those ones that will come into your inbox just to hate and talk down to you for absolutely no reason
I’m gonna stop here but I think I have a few good examples that a lot of us can relate to ones that a reader may or may not understand
Furthermore all of the above mentioned couple with the demands it may not seem like a lot but it is especially for ones mental
I literally just saw a whole war going down over someone “plagiarizing” someone else’s work (not sure if they copied or not but that’s all I’m gonna say) but she received death threats when it was never that deep
So no it’s not just a “part two” it’s not just a “blog” it’s not just “fanfic” this shit can get dark fast
Now that I’ve mentioned these things I might make a post stating some other things that writers go through cause I really want to shine a light on this and make it a big deal
But to steer back in the direction of what the topic is what it comes down to is really just being mindful of what you do so hopefully my situation will just allow one person to think before they say certain things
Thank you for this long beautiful lovely ask ilysm🩵 but I also hate you because you’re making it nearly impossible to leave 🥹 all you guys really are the love i received from everyone is just unfathomable I didn’t know you guys even thought of my page as something comforting I didn’t know everyone thought of my writing so highly and it really warms my heart to know that cause that’s really all I ever wanted 🩵
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annemiek19 · 2 years
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Die First - Jay Halstead
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Inspired by the song ‘Die First’ from Nessa Barrett
Your music was your way of dealing with things. Whenever something happens, you would put your feelings into a song. Now you have done the same thing. It was the first time Jay ended up in the hospital while the two of you were dating. It was the first time you got a call from his brother Will that Jay had been shot. It was minor, but to you, it felt like the air got punched out of your lungs. Seeing him at the hospital, it did something to you. You couldn’t really describe it, so you decided to put it into a song.
Hermann from firehouse 51, and owner of Molly’s, heard you were into music and asked if you wanted to perform some of your songs. Of course, it was right after Jay his accident. But you said yes. When you walked into the bar with Jay, it was like the whole police department was there. The bar was packed with people. Hermann had set up a little area next to the bar. You put the microphone standard on the right height with your guitar in your hand. You looked at Jay, who was standing at a table with Antonio, Gabby, Kelly and Matt. You slightly smiled at him before you announced yourself and started playing. 
You’re all I ever wanted
So, how come I’m still haunted
By the thoughts inside my head?
You love me, but no matter what you say
There’s only one of two ways
That this is gonna end
Someone dies or someone gets hurt
But if one of us dies
hope I die first
’Cause I don’t wanna live without you
I don’t wanna ever learn
How to fall asleep without you
Tell me what’s worse
Losing you now or later
Maybe I can break the curse
And I can be in love forever
If I die
You’re my fire and my safety
You never mean to break me
And that’s why I’m afraid
’Cause someday, everybody’s leaving
You promise that you’ll stay
But that’s a promise you can’t make
After that song, you did two covers that were happier and got the bar back into some good feelings. 
“You are awesome!” Hermann said as soon as you were done. 
“Thanks, Hermann.” You helped put the stuff away before walking over to Jay. 
“I didn’t know you could sing and play the guitar,” Gabby said. 
“It’s my now not-so-hidden talent,” you laughed. “I’m going to put this in the car. I’ll be right back,” you said. You left the bar and went outside to put your guitar in the car. 
“You wrote the first song, didn’t you?” you heard Jay ask behind you. 
You shot the car door and turned around. “I did. I wrote it when you were at the hospital.”
“I could tell. Is that really how you think?” Jay moved closer to you, slightly pushing you up against the car. 
“Yeah. I don’t want to die first and feel how it is to live without you. In a perfect life, we would die together so we both wouldn’t have to experience that.”
Jay chuckles. “Yeah, that would be the perfect scenario. But I’m going to be around for a while, you know.”
“I hope so.”
“It was a beautiful song.”
Heat rose to your cheeks. “Thanks,” you mumbled.
Jay cupped your cheek with his one good hand and kissed you. 
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