#some times I daydream scenes
Text
Reflections
Five approaches his brother slowly. "What's wrong, Viktor?"
"Nothing."
"I don't believe that."
"I don't…I don't like how they're talking about Harlan."
"Why? He's dangerous."
"Because they said the same things about me, Five! They locked me in a soundproof box in the basement, prepared to leave me there for who knows how long."
"They wouldn't do that, Viktor."
"They did, Five. And the only reason I don't worry about that happening now is that the box doesn't exist."
"You don't mean that."
"Oh, I do. What's the difference between then and now?"
"For one, time."
Viktor laughs. "What time, Five? Because to me, that was less than two weeks ago."
"You were in Dallas for months."
"With no memory. I only regained that less than a week ago, but the question stands. What's different now?"
"You're not being manipulated by Harold."
"It wasn't Leonard that made me blow up the world. It was you all. And nothing has happened since to make sure I don't do it again. Heck, I almost did it days ago by all our counts and took Ben out in the process."
"But you wouldn't, not by choice."
"Yeah well, hate to break it to you, I'm pretty sure I chose to the first time."
"So you learn control-"
"When? Dad trained you and the others for years. Years before the Academy had its first mission. Me? I've been aware of these powers for two weeks and I've had zero training sessions. I'm running on instinct and vague memories that started filtering through once I realized I was rumored. I haven't even been able to touch the telekinesis since-"
"Since what?"
"I'm not actually sure if I used it to pull down the Academy or if that was something else. Used it to kill Leonard though. Pogo as well. Haven't touched it since then. Or the weather. Or…or what dad had me do. And what Harlan did, Five? That's me too. I gave him my powers. Anything can he do, I can do too. Except Harlan hasn't almost destroyed the world twice so he's a better me."
"That's not true."
"It is. So yeah, I don't like how they're, you're, talking about Harlan. Because I have no guarantee I'm not next. We can't suppress my powers; Dad's drugs don't exist in this timeline."
"We're not saying to hand over Harlan because of what he can do. We're saying it because that's how we ensure cooperation from the Sparrows in saving what's left of the universe."
"And we need them for that? Absolutely need them?"
"We need access to the Kugelblitz."
"Klaus was able to sneak in and see it. I'm sure you can too. Giving up Harlan is the easy option. Just like Luther locking me in that chamber was." Viktor runs his hand over his head. "At the very least, Harlan is one of us. Like Lila is. Someone with powers, and just as much experience using his are you are yours. We might need him to stop this."
Five hums in the back of his throat.
"Whatever. I'm not going to assume that what I says matter. You'll get rid of him, because you don't know what to do with him. Just like you don't know what to do with me."
He turns to walk away, but Five grabs his wrist. "Viktor. I promise, we won't."
"You can't do that, Five. Just cuz you love me doesn't mean you won't hurt me." Viktor lights up. "I'm done talking. I suggest you let go."
Five releases his grip, and Viktor marches off.
#tua#the umbrella academy#viktor hargreeves#five hargreeves#what fic is this?#no clue#I just started thinking dialogue and here you go#a tumblr only snippet#harlan cooper#this does build around some of viktor's insecurity around his siblings though#that I'm playing with in#my spiraling self#some times I daydream scenes#some times I daydream words#and today was a word day#FOR NONE OF MY ACTUAL WIPS#why brain#fic rec#my fanfiction
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Sloth/Mahiru 👀
One of my favorite ships ever :3
I feel silly so you can get little chunk of the fic. As a treat. No smut tho, that'll be for Ao3.
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It had only been a normal day. Busy, yes, but normal. Running errands, tidying up the house and putting the laundry up to dry. He’d even gotten to the store in time for a few good sales all while Kuro was either on his head or lazing on the couch with a game in hand. There was nothing that could have warned him– He had only been trying to figure out what Kuro wanted for dinner. Walking over to the couch in the dim warm atmospheric lighting Kuro had ordered to bathe their plain apartment in, leaning over the top of the couch to peer at him.
He had only asked a simple question no different from anything he’d say any other day. But when Kuro had looked up at him to answer, something stopped him, his mouth just barely hanging open to make some strange sound. The light in his eyes glazed over in an instant and it felt like he barely had time to blink before a smile too big engulfs his face and his body drips and changes as he sits up.
And lunged.
His Servamp’s body was no longer his own and its host was laid to sleep in some unseen darkness, made unaware of anything Sloth may do. Unable to awaken on his own Kuro was dragged into the deafening depths of the demon’s head and Mahiru was left defenseless and for the taking. It’s surprising the Eve hadn’t gone insane. Seeing your partner’s body being taken control over and morph into something else that wanted to suck you in and devour you. If he weren’t so familiar, or perhaps if he were just anyone else, he would have lost his mind and person a long time ago.
The last thing he remembers before he got taken was the sight of that normally lazy body contorting. The feeling of clawed hands brushing against his skin and pulling him in and the feeling of something warm and plush pressed against his lips. He comes to tight in the embrace of his demon with their lips still locked together and a tongue pushing past his teeth, wading above the pitch black ground of his domain.
He really needs to set some more ground rules for these impromptu visits.
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Mahiru's not going to be able to sit down properly in the morning, let alone be able to walk or stress about cleaning an already spotless house or running around town doing things for other people. Which is exactly what Sloth wanted! :D
#servamp#mahiru shirota#shirota mahiru#kuro servamp#inner sloth servamp#inner kuro#puff writes#ok so i had a ton of trouble sleeping last night and im a maladaptive daydreamer so im always thinking of some kind of fanfic plot#and i happened to be thinking about what i wanted to write for the spicier scenes of this#and i kept getting such sexy ideas i had to reach back for my phone and open mobile google docs to type them out#this happened like four seperate times and jesus christ i reread them this morning and they were just as good as when i wrote em down#and i had plenty of time to review it this morning cuz our car battery fuckin died out of nowhere so i couldnt make it to school
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i of course HAVE to ask for number 6 on the ask game with mcqueen and anyone else you think would be fun to answer for. i would also love to ask 1 and 5!
~zale (@zaletham)
Thank you so very much Zale!!! Didn't realize how lengthy I was gonna talk about this here in the post and in the tags, but it was very nice to get out my system!! 😊
I'm actually so excited that you asked number 6 for M.cQueen, it hadn't even crossed my mind at first, and technically isn't zoo or aquarium, moreso museum, but I think that still qualifies- but! L.ightning actually loovesss dinosaurs! I don't know if you've ever heard of C.ars On The Road, it's like this little series that came out in 2023, each episode is about 5 minutes long(they say like 7 minutes but it's just 2+ minutes of credits, no extra credit scenes except for a 5 second one in one episode) and L.ightning and M.ater, to make a long story short, go on a roadtrip together and they go on stops along the way and the first stop they go to is like a dinosaur museum!
And L.ightning like full swing goes into hyperfixation mode and just babbles about dinosaurs and I love it. He says he did "hours of intensive research" and it just cuts to him watching documentaries in M.ack's trailer and it makes me giggle. M.ack is so sweet, I can only imagine how much second-hand dino knowledge he has cause of L.ightning or overhearing his documentaries! There's also been some jokes that what if the main reason L.ightning wanted to be D.inoco's team in the first movie is just cause he likes dinosaurs and I love it.
I explain a bit more in the tags but tumblr has a one video limit per post that I didn't know about?? So I'm just doing one of the clips here!
They're so silly I love it.
But basically to make a long story short! L.ightning has a massive hyperfixation on dinosaur stuff and would thrive in a dinosaur related musuem. Though, I'd imagine he'd be bored in an aquarium or zoo until he realized that he could make connections here, and he'd go around to all the bird-type species or sharks and talk about how they're related to dinosaurs or have dinosaur ancestors and such!
1) what does their alarm ringtone sound like
It took me some pondering at first who to answer this for and then an idea immediately hit me, and I'd figure I'd answer this for F.rancesco
Basically, to put it in a nutshell, F.1 is a bunch of international racers on international race courses, and whoever wins at the end of each race gets their national anthem played! And I'm giggling over the thought of F.rancesco setting his alarm that he wakes up to in the morning to ltaly's national anthem.
Ringtone wise though, he'd definitely set it to a specific song, or something someone would ask questions about so he could go on this entire spiel about how it relates to him or something he likes. I'd probably rub off on him at some point and he'd make his ringtone(or the ringtone specifically for when I call) S.mooth Operator by Sade.
5) how do they bookmark their book pages
I'll answer this one for F.inn, just cause I think he's the one that's mostly likely to read full books fairly frequently. He'd probably just have a simple bookmark. something small and fairly thin cause he likes taking care of his books and wouldn't want to bend any pages or mess up the spine of the book too badly, probably something like this:
Maybe not the particular design that's on it, but definitely just the rectangle with the little tassels on it. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a bookmark with the UK flag on it as a design, he's quite patriotic and I think it's adorable. Though due to my recent knitting escapades he'd 100% ask me to knit one like one of these:
Though this has also given me the brilliant enlightenment idea of F.inn having one of those book lights or book lamps that clamp onto the book and shines a light on it and you can kinda adjust it and l'1l be having brainrot over that for a bit. May or may not have cultivated a fic idea around it already.
#tumblr has a one video limit?????#which i decided to just leave out the longer one since its like a whopping(/j) 40 seconds long and just add the sillier one#the longer clip just had the scene of Lightning mentioning “hours of intensive research” thing and him jumping around to the different-#-dino exhibits and rattling off all these dino facts to Mater#Mater proceeds to. i kid you not get underestimated and has some bonkers daydream#i could talk about Cars On The Road for a very long time but it just screams how neurodivergant Mater and Lightning are and i knEW IT#felt it in my bones#thank you for coming to my TEDTalk. if youve read all of this then im buying you one million robux and-#-three things of whatever you want from a gas station#sometimes tumblr mixes up my tags and if it happened this time then this is gonna be unintelligible#tooth and nail tumblr. TOOTH AND NAIL. but it was also funny and im being humerously overdramatic#but tumblr put me through a whole thing and i missed where it said that it would take a moment for the video to process and#i typed out this whole other thing and! it was a silly rollarcoaster. but we're all good now XD everything turned out as planned#do i dare put this so blatantly in the selfship tags. shamelessly telling the world i kiss Lightning McQueen.
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35. How do they feel about the fact that they've killed a lot of people and/or things?
Nailah's been a mercenary most of her life. She knows she's good at it and carries herself as a consummate professional - it's her life or theirs and she has work to do, it's not personal.
This is what she's told herself, anyways.
Truthfully, Nailah struggles with seeing worth in herself under all the blood on her hands. There's a lot of unspoken survivor's guilt just under the surface, bubbling up whenever things are a little too quiet.
#answered asks#thank you for the ask! im sorry it took so long!!! aaaaa!!!!!#ive rewritten this dozens of times bc the words havent been quite right orz#im still not perfectly happy... but i need to post something its been more than a week ;-;#oc: hrothwol#okay ramble time#you know the scene in post-arr#where the wol is waiting to meet someone before the big banquet#and they guilt-daydream a procession of corpses in front of them of all the lives they've taken?#how it suggests this festering guilt that's never really faced or dealt with?#that's probably my favorite small moment in all arr#and that simmering sense of guilt stays with nailah like a stain#she eventually learns how to cope with it but it never really leaves#the sheer amount of blood on her hands helps push her to learn healing#so she can do some good for once in her life#(to her eyes at least - she needs the concrete small-picture reassurance)#(rather than vapid 'oh youre a hero :D' bc she really doesnt respond well to that)#...if you read all these tags i appreciate you ;-;
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I finally rewatched Good Omens s1 and watched Good Omens s2 and I'm now crying, they've been pining since the very beginning of everything and they deserve happiness not that ending they got
you know what though? we're gonna get there. THEY are gonna get there. they're gonna get that cottage in the south downs, and all we have to do is harass the studios to pay their workers so the strikes can end and we'll finally get to see our ineffable idiots have a happy ending ;-;
#i cried SO HARD#and it took me a few days to get thru the funk but you know what helped?#knowing we're at the halfway point#and that s3 exists in some form regardless of the strikes. neil gaiman has said he'd write a book even if the show doesn't get renewed#i was SO ANGRY at aziraphale and SO ANNOYED at crowley but now i'm just.#sitting here daydreaming about their reunion 🥰#because really i've rbed a lot of analysis stuff but i truly think they are miscommunicating on every level#it feels a bit like the bandstand scene in s1 now. like it hurts but it hurts SO GOOD#val comes out of hiding#anon#ask#good omens#gos2#gos2spoilers#but really i can't emphasize enough how much ep6 got to me nonnie#my heart was literally racing for several days. couldn't get over it#getting into the analysis stuff of it all really helped tbh#like the how and why of the fight & kiss. the emotions & rationale & misunderstanding#i was sooooo angry at aziraphale at first reaction because 'i forgive u' SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPP#but now after some time to think about it. it's a lot more complicated than that#and i do think aziraphale is making the only choice he could possibly be expected to make in that situation.#which is try to make things better PERMANENTLY by gaining influence over all of heaven#because crowley's right. earth will die whether it's heaven or hell who kills them all#but a&c can't defuse another armageddon by getting even less involved#anyway. ep6 damaged my psyche and i am currently always thinking about it
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Hey! Love your writing, how do you get inspiration specially for your world building? If you're comfortable sharing ofc!
Hi!! Thank you so much! <3
Umm that's actually really hard to answer, I think. I kind of just- get hit by inspiration? I mean, I'd say at least 60% of Midnight's world building was created at the same time I was hit with the idea, and the other 40% has developed as a result of me exploring the parts of the story that I originally hadn't intended to. I have inspiration, think of how I want certain things to be, and then I ask myself; "why is this so? What is the reason for this?" etc etc. Literally the entire Fae pantheon thing has been expanded with this; "Why do the Elves wear their hair long? What about Elves who cannot grow/are uncomfortable with long hair? The Changed Children?" etc etc etc, just asking myself questions and connecting it all together into a cohesive world.
In general though, I get inspiration randomly. It can be as simple as "wow I would love to see the blorbos in this kind of world." I can't even remember which AU it was, but I remember messaging Belle like "oh my god I have an idea" and they responded ten minutes later and I'm just like "alright so I already have the ENTIRE story mapped out in my head-" so uh yeah? I don't really know.
SO I GUESS. A simple answer would be, the initial idea hits me and the world building gets expanded by me asking myself questions.
Also fun fact, do you know what "I want to see my blorbos in this situation" spawned Midnight? LITERALLY just the thought; "Huh, what if... Scar... dying... Mumbo doesn't know... and Grian is the one who finds out..." LITERALLY that one scene from Midnight Misunderstandings? Where Grian and Scar have that heart to heart, where Scar confesses he's half human and it's killing him? Midnight was spawned because that scene wrote itself out in my head. I wrote Midnight because of that scene, that REALLY EARLY SCENE. It was among the first scenes I had solidly planned for this AU, and everything else has snowballed from there.
#ask#Midnight Series#I find this question really hard because I'm not actually sure where I get my ideas or inspiration#I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and I ALWAYS have a story in my head#and I mean always. I don't think I ever go without writing out scenes in my head#coming up with plotlines and developing worlds#it's just a Thing™ I do#Midnight Series is basically just a daydream I had at work one day that got way out of control#and that I'm putting down#every time I run into a wall I take some time to figure it out#restarting and rewriting scenes in my head while at work until I figure out where it's gone wrong#Idk how to describe it other than that HJKFJKS
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"if crush 20 doesn't play I'm not watching" "live and learn should be the climatic soundtrack" "keanu reeves-
Yes Yes I Agree With You But
David Bowie.
70s iconic singer who sang about being different from the people around him, literally being descirbed as an alien, had a very consistent science fiction influence to his works, and I dare you to convice me that in the days Shadow lived abroad the Ark in the 70s didn't absolutely eat that shit up
f u disney for associating "starman" for your medicore lightyear movie trailers, IT WOULD HAVE FIT SHADOW SO WELL
#space oddity playing when sonic gets sent out into space inside the capsule- or when shadow is falling to the earth#hallo spaceboy during some fight scene or when shadow is released from his statis sleep#maria and shadow singing rebel rebel with the radio in a flashback#MOONAGE DAYDREAM AND 5 YEARS BEING ABOUT AN ALIEN WHO NEEDS TO SAVE THE WORLD IN A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME#im sorry i just needed to get this off my chest- i have so many thoughts on this#sonic movie 3#pls feel free to add on
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Is it just me, or does it seem like Kamala has a bit of ADHD?
Losing track of a conversation 30 seconds in, drifting off in class, daydreaming, hyperfixating on something ‘cool’... hmmm.
Thoughts?
#ms. marvel#disney's ms. marvel#kamala khan#kamala#just watched the first episode#and related HARD with those school scenes!#i was one heck of a daydreamer#it was a time#marvel#mcu#just some thoughts
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.
#i follow a couple of rp finder blogs because i kinda hope to get the courage to find some rp down the line#since i miss rp#but my experience with these rp ads is... less than encouraging#i'm blown away how many people are just straight up looking for someone to play a fictional character against their self-insert OC#or just straight up themselves#like... genuinely don't get why anyone would even respond to that..?#like what's the appeal of going 'yeah I'll pretend to be Tony Stark and romance you'#lot of those ads are successful too so people actually do want to do that!#but WHY#i'm so baffled what is the appeal#at the same time it makes me both encouraged and discouraged from trying to find a rp#because if that type of content can find their matches then why couldn't I?#but also am I just so out of touch with what/how people like to rp that it would be impossible for me to re-enter the rp scene?#cos there's absolutely no way I'd play a character to fulfill someone's daydreams...#we both gotta play characters be it canon or OC...#otherwise it just legit sounds like looking for cybersex partners imo#/ramble but i feel so Out of Touch!!!
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How many times have I written an infodump explaining Auren’s naming day death threat situation? The answer is A LOT.
#adventures in writing#arateph#the many many many partially completed and many-times-restarted drafts always involve the infodump early on#sometimes they are sketchier and sometimes they are more detailed#newest one comes from my latest attempt to whip this princess and the pea retelling into shape#(i had made a list of which stories in this universe i realistically want to write)#(and since this was first on the list chronologically i fell into writing it)#(especially since it's in the right time of year for it)#(i don't have writing seasons and resting seasons i just have different seasons of the year when i daydream about certain wips)#(i say with bitterness)#but ANYWAY#this newest attempt is much lengthier than most of them which could be bad#but it feels okay for now because of how i'm framing it within the narrative#and it feels fun because for once i realized that i can go beyond the standard infodump and add in some of his mother's memories of that day#not much detail but enough to give it a more interesting perspective and make it feel more vital to the character and story#we'll see if it helps at all#right now i'm just charging forward on this draft not worrying about the plot making sense#instead of falling into setting up enough of the plot early on and writing scenes i don't want#i'm going to start it where i want to start it and shape the plot according to how well i can fit the backstory into this structure#maybe it'll work maybe it won't but i'm hopeful#because i'm always hopeful when i'm less than 24 hours into a new rewrite
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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Vibrating with the urge to talk about a topic I do not want to discuss publicly
#the age old shame of remaking one of my blorbos in the sims#like i have many blorbo thoughts but i don't really want anyone else to see them. but if they don't get out i'll explode#they're just self indulgent y'know? not everything needs to be put on display! i like having an interior world just for me!#but also i am VIBRATING!!!#shaking the bars of my cage!!!!#the issue is fundamentally that i think the current blorbo brainrot is fairly ooc#and a daydream of about 6 scenes of self indulgent emotional and physical intimacy doesn't need to be in character#but if i put it outside of my brain suddenly it is being Presented To The World (especially online)#and i'm not comfortable with having things out there that are mine but not up to my standards#if you will#so i'm vibrating with my little self indulgent crossovers and not putting them anywhere#i can't draw fanart (feels Bad don't ask it's just some weird shame i guess?? not getting rid of it any time soon though)#and i can't write (i write not that well)#(and for both if i see it on paper suddenly it's Real and Out There outside of my brain which no)#vibrating vibrating vibrating vibrating#to the tune of the fool by jain go listen to it it's good it kinda reminds me of some marina songs in a way#wow i have a ramble tag now
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I actually don't know you, I just came across your blog from my notes, so I have no prior info: in your description you said to talk to you about your comic - mind telling us a little bit about it? Whatever you want to share / are excited about / proud of etc! And again, I don't know anything about it so I'd love to hear truly anything :)
Hope your day is going nice, and if it isn't I hope it'll start to go nice from now on!
Hi ty for the ask thats rlly sweet :3
Rn I'm in my last year of art uni and I've been working on a small comic book for the past few months, tho im actually really shy to Post my art so thats y theres like nothing ab it anywhere yet. It a little romance story mainly focusing on a lesbian bar and a relationship between my ocs Robin and Vic! Its rlly slow paced but im trying to write it in a way that allows me to speak of workplace inequality, bar culture, butchfem culture, friendship and loss and community and being lonely and getting used to not being lonely anymore.
Tbh its been so hard to develop it since its like my first work that of this size (it has like 32 pages) and rn i have done 12 pages out of it that consists in the meetup of the two characters and the relationship building between them, and I gotta start thinkin from now How i want to post this up on the internet and where, cuz i rlly would want ppl to see it but idk what would b the best way to go ab it... so if someone that read till here has some tips or smth feel free to tell! I would love a little help on that part
Here s also a little illustration ive done for them two, it was mainly done just to get into the feeling and enviroment and atmosphere of the comic + a planner page ive done just to get their personalities and bodies familiar with myself! I really have come to really care ab these two ocs in the past 4 months or so in which ive developed them tru sketches and writing tbh so im rlly nervous and excited to share them here.
Im rambling now tho, more in tags, ty anon <3
#honestly ive been trying to set up a patreon but im sooo scared of actually posting my art somewhere for some reason#i feel like the only safe thing would b fanart to post but i hadnt had time for fanart in ages bcos of this comic + other assignments!#but alas my exams are around june tru july so i believe that i will post this comic fully around july or august!#i just have to think of the best way to do it#ive been thinkin of just postin it fully om patreon but idk if thats rlly the best idea#but its certainly a place where it allows me to post the sketches and plannings too so idk!#comic artists help me...#howljenky art#howljenky's#artists on tumblr#comic book#graphic novel#oh also im really excited ab this comic bcos even if its a modern storytelling#ive really been pulling strings to make it looks really fantasy-like tru architecture and enviroment#but also itll contain a sort of daydream scene where the characters r rewritten as being a prince and a knight#and yea i mean prince not princess bcos i really also want to play a bit with gender presentation in this!#vic is very feminine but i feel like she would play a lot with gender presentation if her environment would allow her to!#which it will later in the comic where she goes tru a bit if character development#anyways im rlly excited :3 i need to get over my fear of posting#and i put the phrase to talk with me ab my comic expecting nobody to really actually ask and now ive become shy...#but ty for asking nonetheless it feels great talkin ab it and i hope that till i post it in august or smth#i could mayhaps make a bit of an audience? i have like just a few followers tho so maybe not but its good to dream ab being supported KSKSK
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daydreaming vs visualization vs imagination
i was thinking about before i got into the law. you know when you imagine steamy scenarios before you go to bed for fun? i know you know what i mean. i used to do that every night in 2020 (even now) with the same scenario bc it was fun. keep in mind that i didnt know about the law at this point so i obviously didnt intend for it to "manifest". a year ago when i started to understand states, i used to think back to 2020 and wonder why those scenarios didnt manifest since i kept visualizing and imagining the same thing. last week i randomly remembered about how i used to wonder that and i immediately knew the answer: i wasnt changing self.
when i was visualizing/imagining, i wasnt becoming the person who actually knew i was experiencing it. i was not being someone who was experiencing those steamy scenarios. in order words, i was just daydreaming.
daydreaming
in my own words, i think daydreaming is visualizing something while being someone who knows they dont have it. for example: visualizing owning a car while knowing that you dont have it. so you are just visualizing it for fun, not for the purpose of changing self but for the purpose of just experiencing something in imagination (via visualization) just for your own enjoyment. daydreaming is like visualizing for fun, without changing states/self. this "knowing" i talk about is based on what state you are in, so if someone knows they dont have a car, they are in that state.
i think daydreaming is always visualization but visualization is not always daydreaming. daydreaming is for fun, without the intention of "manifesting" or changing states while visualization is changing states whether or not you intent to do so.
so i was visualizing my freaky scenes as the version of me who didnt identify with those freaky scenes (aka daydreaming). i wasnt identifying with it or using it to change self. same thing applies to when i used to repeat positive thoughts 100k times but i didnt identify with them. those are called vain repetitions and can be used to change self but if they just dont change self/states, then it is just daydreaming/vain repetitions. you can change self/states without realizing too which is why i think people put so much power onto techniques by thinking the techniques themselves are doing something, when its only self (imagination/you) that is changed by the techniques. those techniques were the things that consciously or unconsciously made you change self. regardless, self/you will always be the thing manifesting.
realize that regardless of everything, your state/version of you you are being, will always determine the "3d".
visualization ≠ imagination
visualization is a tool to change self / imagination. you can visualize things but that doesnt mean you are identifying with it or accepting it as true. i think of visualization as a smaller form of imagination but its very small compared to imagining/imagination itself.
imagination is what you are (aka self). imagination is not a tool like visualization because you always are operating in imagination since everything is self. you are always being a version of you. you arent always visualizing. visualizing can be daydreaming if you arent visualizing that thing to change self.
when you imagine something in a law of assumption context, imagining = what version of you you are being.
imagination is not limited to visualizing. there are some people in this community who have aphantasia and think they have no imagination and therefore "cant manifest", etc. but they just cant visualize. imagination is not equal to visualization. no matter what type of or stage of aphantasia you have, you will always already be manifesting.
visualizing and thinking without changing self means nothing. changing self means being a new version of you who knows they have (insert whatever desire).
self changes everything
so back to my story, i was just visualizing me and my imaginary bae, i wasnt being the person who was experiencing what i was visualizing. this is why it didnt manifest. i like this idea because that is just more proof that self changes everything, who ever you are being in imagination will express. it also means i have control bc i can daydream anything for fun and control whether or not it expresses bc i dont have to identify with that version of me who is experiencing whatever i am daydreaming.
i hope this makes sense and if it doesnt, dont stress. just focus on changing self, be the version of you that has whatever it is you want. i made this post because its been on my mind and hopefully it can help someone else realize that changing self is all you ever have to do.
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#loa blog#law of assumption#manifesting#loassumption#neville goddard#edward art#etherealkissed#imagination creates reality#change self#loass states
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MDNI please, it's a 18+ reading
Choose a butterfly earring. Your future partner in bed
Pile 1
If you believe in soulmates, they can be your soulmate. I feel like you want a marriage or your future partner wants it, I think they will even daydream about that you two will be married one day. A little possessiveness. If you are able to have a baby, they will find you even more attractive when you will be pregnant. If you don't want children, still they can have a thing for breeding, maybe for marking too. For some of you, if you want to wait til marriage, they will be okay with that. Even if you don't, but you are a little shy or you just need time to trust someone, it's okay, because they are very understanding and patient. A real sweetheart. Their privat parts will be very beautiful for you. I heard role playing, nothing too unusual though, I think this pile is a little more vanilla. But I feel you two will have fun, I feel a lot of playfulness, you can even laugh together. I see a castle and I see a cozy home too with fireplace or candles, they can be a romantic person. One of you probably will be more innocent. Oh I think a lot of juices will be involved here, if you know what I mean. I think they are actually open to try what you want, they can be creative and they really want you to enjoy it. Aftercare will be very good.
Pile 2
Now they are possibly a dominant person. Oh I feel that you will be tired after every time you will be together! They have a lot of stamina and they probably like to tease you a little, and you will end up begging to them because you will want them so badly in the end. I feel that even if you do something rougher, they have a really good self control, and they will always take care of you, they would never ignore your boundaries and the safeword. I see they bring you your favourite drink after. I think they want to literally take care of you, not just in the bedroom, but like they want to make sure that you will take your vitamins. A little bit of a sugar daddy /mommy. Their love language can be gift giving. You two will be perfectly compatible in bed. I think they can be your soulmate or at least it will be real love. It's not just for the kink or sex itself, there will be emotions too. Your relationship will be balanced and harmonious. Now it's a little specific, but I heard pet play. Maybe a little pain too, like punishment. I see drooling too. It can be a little stricter dom/sub relationship too, if you are open to it, like Master and slave. They can be a little older or they have a confident and succesful personality, but I feel they will have more experience than you.
Pile 3
I feel they can be a switch, possibly more dom leaning. It's something specific, but I feel they are into some primal play or like CNC. I don't know if I can write here this, but I try to explain. So like one of you can be a victim and the other is taking charge in that situation. Maybe it's not so rough to some of you, just like one person will have authority in that scene. I feel bondage or blindfolding can be involved too. They really like to see you cum, if you enjoy it, they enjoy it even more. I think you will do it in a car or you will travel together and do it everywhere. Maybe even in semi-public places, or in nature too. Oh my, so it's not for everyone but I heard little Red Riding Hood and the big bad wolf. Maybe it's just pet play for some of you. They like it when you are confident and when you are open about wanting sex. I heard that they like when you wear something red. They like nice lingeries, I see laces, roses, chocolate. They have this fantasy that you two will do it outside at night, under the moonlight. For some of you maybe threesome or swinging can be a thing too. I feel they want to be your real boyfriend /girlfriend or at least marking you, like with a collar. But maybe you two will wear a couple jewellry, it can be a simple couple ring, or like one of you wear a collar / necklace and the other will wear a necklace with a key to it. I think you two will meet soon or if you already know them, you will do it soon, if you are okay with that, because let me tell you, they really want you. It was a bit chaotic to channel this pile, because they have so many ideas, like they want to try with you everything. Oh they don't like that I'm saying this, but they are cute.
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This one goes out to all the slow burn enjoyers, the dense Y/Ns, and the soft robo jesters that suffer in silence!
Inspired by @bamsara's “Solar Lunacy” fic.
If you feel like reading my ramblings and want to experience more heartbreak for fictional jester blorbos, check under the cut where I detail all the planning behind the frames!
so i heard this song for the first time in a while and the opening lyrics immediately made me think of moon, so i was daydreaming some scenes and then i decided to thumbnail some ideas:
and it all went downhill from there as everything became a metaphor and a parallel to each other, which i will now go into detail on!
you thought the animatic itself was sad?
*writing muse laughs maniacally* IT'S ALL A METAPHOR
Frame 1. "turn down the lights"
We start with a back view on Moon. The lights are out, the Moon is out, but we do not see his face. The music and the greyscale atmosphere are enough to establish the weight of the moment and the weight on Moon’s mind.
Frame 2. "turn down the bed"
We cut to a shot of Moon's body, kneeling on the ground of the daycare, like a padded cell. Moon’s hands are twitching with the effects of the glitch, with purple sparks coming from his hands. We still do not see his face.
Frame 3. "turn down these voices inside my head"
Cut to an extreme close up on the dark half of Moon’s face. Now we see his face, but only a portion of it. His left eye is wide open, red and glitching out. The voices in his head can refer to the glitch but also his repressed feelings. Or maybe it could be Sun's voice in their shared headspace.
Frame 4. "lay down with me"
Y/N's hand enters the frame from the upper right corner, lowering down to meet Moon where he kneels on the ground. Only a corner of Moon's face appears on the bottom left corner of the frame, his starry nightcap beginning to cover his glitched left eye.
Frame 5. "tell me no lies"
An full shot of Moon on the floor and Y/N standing in front of him with their hand stretched towards him. A light spills out from behind Y/N, creating a boundary between them.
Now we see more of Moon. It is only when Y/N enters the frame—enters his world—that Moon’s body is shown in its entirely. When Y/N is here, he is no longer fragmented. He is whole.
Frame 6. "just hold me close"
pspspspsps
Playfully, Moon extends his own hand, beckoning Y/N to come closer, to join him. His right hand crossed over his body as he uses the playful gesture to hide his true feelings—to put distance between him and Y/N. His hat continues to cover his glitching left eye. He doesn’t want to worry Y/N.
Frame 7. "don't patronize"
In response, Y/N’s hand pats Moon on the head, returning his playfulness. Moon looks surprised by the action. Moon, notably, does not lower his hand—perhaps he has forgotten it or perhaps his invitation is still open.
Frames 8-9. "don't patronize me"
Moon rotates his faceplate so Y/N’s hand is touching the side of his faceplate, a more intimate gesture than a head pat. However, his hat is in the way. At this angle, his starry nightcap fully covers his glitchy eye and the dark side of his face, hiding his defect and acting as a veil between him and Y/N. A self-imposed boundary. So close, yet thinly separated. It's better this way. It's safer this way.
The lyrics are broken up by Y/N's arm, both to illustrate how the song is sung ("patronize" is drawn out and "me" is briefly added in before the chorus starts) but also to show how Y/N interrupts Moon's resolve, highlighting the irony between the visuals and the lyrics. Demanding not to be patronized, yet Moon happily accepts this play at intimacy. Don't patronize me, I am weak for it.
This is also the only instance where the red light of Moon's eyes glow and tint the surfaces around it. Visually, it makes it look like Moon is blushing (heavily inspired by @restinsodaroni's art). But also, in this moment of honesty, Moon's intrinsic light spills out, colouring the greyscale world. In this brief moment of honesty, Moon touches the world with his own colours, his own light.
(and this is also where i forgot to clean up the shading on Y/N's arm, but it's okay it doesn't need to be perfect it simply needs to be. And Moon will still love Y/N even if they are a continuity error.)
Frame 10. "'cause I can't make you love me if you don't"
A parallel to a frame 4, Y/N retrieves their hand away and immediately Moon is reduced to the corner of his faceplate in the frame. Only now his glitched eye is fully covered by his hat.
The lyrics here (and in the next frame) in particular grow lighter to emphasize Moon's diminishing resolve and agency.
From here on out, the lyrics here are broken up, carrying on this theme of fragmentation. Y/N is pulling away, Moon is breaking up, the words are breaking up. Everything is coming apart.
Frame 11. "you can't make your heart feel something it won't"
Y/N turns to leave. The lyrics, broken up as before, highlight the irony of the situation. Y/N, a human, can’t feel something they simply don’t feel. Whereas, Moon, the machine, feels something his code never intended him to feel.
Frame 12. "here in the dark in these final hours"
Another full shot that parallels frame 5, as Y/N steps towards the light and Moon leans forward into the space Y/N once occupied. Y/N is leaving—that which makes him whole is leaving. And he is only capable of making it to the boundary where the light cuts into the darkness. The "final hours" suggest it might be the end of Y/N’s shift, or perhaps this scene takes place right before the glitch takes over—the final hours that Y/N has with the true Moon. Either way, time is running out—and only Moon knows it.
There is a contrasting display of body language here. Moon is on the floor leaning towards Y/N with his hand still left out. Whereas Y/N is turned away, walking away, and has already slipped their hand away and into their pocket. Y/N is closed off while Moon is limply open. Y/N is actively moving while Moon is on the floor, waiting, hoping, for that which he lacks the agency to reach for himself.
Frame 13. "I will lay down my heart"
A close up on Moon’s hand, rising up again, perhaps to beckon Y/N back once more. This is a slight parallel to Y/N's hand reaching out to Moon. While Y/N can freely reach out and touch Moon, Moon cannot. He can't enter the light and more importantly he can't risk potentially harming his relationship with Y/N—be it through the glitch or by his feelings. He can only lay down his heart—put aside his feelings or hope that someone will pick up his pieces and make him whole.
Frame 14. "and I'll feel the power"
Still on a close up on Moon’s hand, now clenched in slightly. This initially was going to have the glitch effects. However, I felt it more meaningful for it to be left without. Leave it up for interpretation why Moon pauses his hand. What is the power that he alone feels and stays his hand?
Frame 15. "but you won't, no, you won't"
A parallel to frame 1, a view of on Moon's back with his hand stretched out towards the light, and Y/N walking into the light spilling through the open daycare door.
The placement of the lyrics suggest two different “you won’t”—Y/N who won’t realize Moon’s feelings, and Moon who won’t dare speak them into reality.
Another note on the parallel to frame 1, this time we also see Y/N's back, but it is notably different from our view of Moon's back. With Moon, we literally see inside him through the hole for his loop. However, Y/N is shrouded in shadow, just a solid, obscure silhouette against the bright light of a world Moon—and Sun for that matter—are closed off from. We don’t see into Y/N, just as the Daycare Attendant doesn't have any vantage point of Y/N's life beyond their time at the PizzaPlex. (The unfortunate reality of a being a character made for the purpose of being a vessel for the reader.)
Frame 16. "'cause I can't make you love me"
We finally cut to face Moon head-on, frozen in place with his hand stretched out, unable to cross the boundary into the light. His eyes have gone dark. Where we began by seeing bits and parts of Moon, and never seeing his full face—now we, the viewer, see the full Moon, open and vulnerable—unbeknownst to Y/N.
Frame 17. "if you don't"
But in the dark, behind closed doors, there is no one to perceive him—no one to receive him. The light dwindles as the daycare doors are closed. Moon stays frozen where he kneels. It is no longer the glitch that plagues him, but a far deeper dread.
But a lone streak of light peaks through the gap in the daycare doors. Perhaps that is just enough. A silver lining. A frail hope. A single, ethereal thread out of darkness and into light.
Thanks for reading and watching!
We'll be back to our regularly scheduled fun and games shortly!
#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#so this idea had me by the throat ever since I heard this song again#I've never done an animatic before but I wanted to give it a shot#the opening lyrics already reminded me of moon right off the bat#but then i kept listening and started thumbnailing some frames#it was actually the frames with moon receiving the head pat and turning his faceplate that convinced me i had to do this lol#the sweetest images resulted in this work of angst#thank you if you read all this!#i promise to post something cute soon to balance things out#and no promises but i will say the second verse of the song is PERFECT for sun#“morning will come and I'll do what's right just give me 'till then to give up this fight” /lyrics#hahaha it hurts :')#crab art#traditional art#digital art#traditionally inked and digitally coloured#animatic
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