Fitz, the Fool, Molly & Kettricken

people in the past had asbestos in their house and used lead in their cosmetics they were soooooo silly lmao luckily we’re not that stupid anymore. anyway the wheels came off this boeing plane i’m on and the man in the middle seat is having ozempic diarrhoea

he genuinely did not know

ive never liked the phrase "manmade horrors beyond your comprehension" but i cant think of a better way to describe texas roads

biblically accurate highway

The tentacles spoke to me, asked me what I wanted to be. To be weak, I said. To be flawed. Vulnerable. To perceive weakness in others not to exploit, but to protect. To be a guide. To be a teacher.

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

Older Koro doodle 🐙💖

alright guys im curious. who were the worst mutuals youve ever had

Hello! And Welcome to Taskmaster! Please welcome our five contestants! And next to me, a man who once told me in confidence that his wife has filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor. It's little Alex Horne!

girl are you sure???????????????

“oh no we need to practice for our fake dating” is the funniest trope to me cause like. there are so many people who force themselves into a shitty relationship they hate just because of amatonormatiivity that it’s an ingrained part of popular culture to joke about hating your partner.

which is to say, oh my god you dont need to hold hands and go on fake dates, you don’t even need to agree on a single detail of your cover story beforehand. you can literally stand 6 feet apart at all times and look profoundly uncomfortable and all anyone will think is “yikes™. not my problem”

i love silly little heist movies. they always have about 100000 plot holes and 54 physically impossible feats to their name but god do i eat them up every time. like yeah eat the rich and all that but to me maybe the real heist was the found family we made along the way you know

i'm such a big fan of laios using being well fed as proof that he's serious. like there's so many techbros & etc who will use not eating breakfast as proof that they're productive & just in general, the idea of being "too busy to eat" is getting more common (which is exactly what toshiro is doing here!) but laios is like. no. i'm so serious about this i'm thinking about what comes next. i'm so serious about this i'm making sure my body can do everything it can when i need it.

the fact that everyone in the party took care of themselves & carefully planned out their route & when they'd take breaks is what made them so successful. they always made sure to understand their limits

Never understood the collective vehement resentment of small talk lol i hate the painful grind of small talk as much as the next person but i think id rather shrivel up and die than be denied nuggets of joy found in standing in an elevator and having a middle aged woman compliment my nails or bonding fleetingly with a cafegoer over the city's temperamental weather it's so integral to nurturing & cultivating the soul i think

I see your "Laios is trans" but that dude is THE most apathetically agender person on the planet. Laios does not have time for gender. Laios does not even HAVE a gender identity, he removed it to make room for more Monster Facts.

i love it when characters are codependent. i love it when losing someone feels like losing a limb. i love it when two people "complete" each other so wholly and terribly that one can barely function without the other. i love it when the fear of losing the only person who understands them is so all-consuming they'll destroy anything to stay together, including themselves.