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sunshiline-writes · 4 months

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So let’s talk about POTS syndrome for a second yeah? There is a common misconception that this is just a “uwu fainting disease” and I really seriously need combat this idea lol.

I have diagnosed POTS syndrome. Yes I have fainted before. But it doesn’t happen as much as you think. In fact in the 3 years I’ve been diagnosed I’ve only ever fainted twice. Most of my symptoms include, sweating profusely, fatigue easily, heart palpitations, over heating/getting cold easily, getting dizzy, nausea, blurry vision, chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety and stress. Sometimes I just feel really sick. My toes turn purple sometimes. I can run a mile sometimes and be fine, but some days walking to my bathroom without my cane is a struggle.

I have good days and bad days. But this is a disease that had genuinely ruined my life for a time. I couldn’t do anything when I first started showing symptoms. I couldn’t walk to the bathroom without wanting to keel over. Forget classes, forget doing sports. Or exercising. I literally built myself up from ground zero.

I might seem pretty healthy? But honestly? I still have as needed mobility aid to help me get around so I don’t get too tired and over exert myself. I have to stay hydrated or else my symptoms will kill Me. If I skip a meal? Oh yeah I’m done for. I take steroids to keep my blood pressure up. I take these steroids once in the morning and once before any strenuous activities. I was on heart medication for a time. There is no cure for this. It’s an entire lifestyle change. Everything is affected, your nervous system, your brain, your blood, skin, anything you can think of, there is a POTS symptom for.

Like this disease genuinely ruined my life and I had restart from scratch. I have only recently been okay and starting to do more. But i still have bad days.

This isn’t just some random fainting thing that is really cute. And honestly it does make me angry to see it wrongly portrayed in media. Because this genuinely upheaved my life and I had to quit a lot of stuff so I could be healthy. If you’re going to write a character with POTS. Do your research, know how this actually affects people. Because it’s not some silly little disease that people can use to just.. create a good whumpy scenario.

It’s a fucking struggle and I hate having it. I’ve had to shape my life around it. It’s not just fainting. It’s feeling like your body is going implode, feeling like you might die. Pardon sounding like a dick, but if you’re going to write a character with POTS do it right.

Sorry this is a rant and I might lose some followers for it. I just.. it’s something I feel passionate about. And it’s something that has genuinely affected my quality of life.

If you have questions or want to know more. Feel free to ask. But don’t talk to me if you’re just going to argue or berate me for anything I’ve said here. Thanks.

#pots syndrome #not whump #misconceptions #sunshinetalks

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whumpster-dumpster · 1 month

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(this ask ended up getting much more rambly than expected haha)

hello, i love your blog and whump in general and i would like to try and get involved in the community.

thing is, i feel really weird/embarrassed for liking whump (even before i knew the term). like ashamed i guess? (im not sure how to put it into words exactly). so i dont want to tell any of my irl freinds that im into it/put it on my main since some of my irl freinds follow my main.

and i do draw and i used to write but i dont really know how to draw/write whump yk? (though i have written whumpy things before, when i was like 10, they were really shit though by virtue of me being a 10 year old) and i feel too shy to put any of my work out into the internet for all to see, espcially my writing because i havent actually written prose fiction in. years. i have played dnd (and my campaigns do tend to get pretty whumpy) but i dont think the experiance of roleplaying it really translates well to the internet?

so i was wondering if you have any tips for 1 getting involved in the whump community and 2 managing feeling embarrased about liking whump

Here's an equally rambly answer! First off, welcome to the community! You're definitely not alone in liking it or in feeling embarrassed about liking it. A lot of us, myself included, have our moments where we feel weird for our interest.

I can't tell you how to get over that because I still feel embarrassed sometimes but pinpointing your reasons for liking it can make it easier to explain if someone inquires. Is it the aesthetic? The drama, the adrenaline? The character development? Is it a coping mechanism? A kink? We've got community members whose reasoning is all across the spectrum. Understanding your reason can be reassuring and help it make sense.

As for the shyness, a lot of us make side blogs for whump content, so it can be a little more isolated/private if we feel awkward about IRL/main blog followers seeing. If your art style is easily recognizable as yours, that might not be the best solution but also remember you don't have to post what you draw (or write.) You can create whump content just for you (and if you decide you do eventually want to post some, that will have served as good practice.)

There are whump prompt lists coming out all the time that can be used for art or writing if you don't know what you want to make. You should look up the whump wheel, it's a fun one!

Re: getting more involved in the community: believe it or not, there are whump roleplayers floating around in the tags pretty often! They'd probably enjoy another roleplay partner on the scene! Beyond that, liking people's posts, reblogging them to that side blog if you decide to make it, coming into their inboxes to say you enjoy their content, sending in prompts if whump fic writers are asking for some, posting prompts of your own if there's a type of whump content you notice lacking and want to inspire someone to explore...There are monthly whump events happening all the time too if you want to participate or just reblog to help promote them. You could also ask if another whump artist wants to do an art trade with you. Those are some of the best ways to dive in!

I hope that was helpful. Have fun!

#whump #whump community #answered ask #anonymous

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ablatheringblatherskite · 2 months

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Some whump fanfics that have low-key (or high-key) traumatized me forever

(aka some of my fave whump fics I've read so far)

(will reblog with more fics the more I read!!)

You Monster

fandom: Wednesday

whumpee: Tyler Galpin

You have had nightmares for weeks, waking up covered in sweat. Tonight feels no different; but it is. There is something calling to you, deep within the woods.

By @ArchivedTrash! A second person body horror fic all about Tyler transforming into the Hyde. It's. It's just so good. Literally the first second person AND body horror fic I'd ever read and still one of my faves forever.

Who Deserves This?

fandom: The Phantom of the Opera

whumpee: the whole trio tbh, but mainly Raoul

Erik runs out of patience and lets his temper get the best of him, costing him the boy's life and Christine's pity.

By my lovely mutual @rumpletrumple. This fic messed me up good :)))

She loves a pretty face

fandom: The Phantom of the Opera

whumpee: Raoul de Chagny

Erik scars Raoul. Raoul tries to move past it, but Christine won't talk to him, and Erik won't leave him alone.

By @convenientalias! This is one of my fav POTO fics, ngl. This was just. UGH. It was so good oh my GOSH. I love me some good Raoul whump AND THIS WAS SOME GOOD RAOUL WHUMP RIGHT HERE. AUGH. Scarring, threats, manipulation, tying to a chair, sacrificial love, oh my!!

Obedience

fandom: Batfam

whumpee: Tim Drake

Something is seriously wrong with Tim—Jason just knows it. Ever since the Mad Hatter incident, Tim has been acting completely different, and the worst part is that no one believes Jason when he tells them so. But when the truth is eventually revealed, the whole family comes to realize that the situation is far worse than anyone could have ever predicted.

By @sohotthateveryonedied! This left me disturbed and with low-key an existential crisis???? With one of my fave kinds of whump, forced obedience. This fic also gave me a newfound appreciation for "Perfection whump" (whump centered around being forced to be perfect). It's just so good and whumpy AND angsty and I'm. OUGH. *CHEF'S KISS*

all the king's horses

fandom: Voltron

whumpee: Keith

It wasn’t the blade sinking into the flesh of his palm, nor the smell of wood smoke and incense permeating the air that woke Keith. Nor was it the weight of iron-wrought shackles hanging heavy from his wrists and ankles. No, it was the sinister giggle in his ear and frigid fingers carding through his head that roused Keith from a dead slumber. He didn’t remember going to sleep at all—in fact, he wasn’t so sure he’d been asleep so much as knocked out. His head ached with a throbbing pulse and he couldn’t quite bring the world into focus. The room was dark, shadows dancing along the dingy wall certainly not helping things. A groan escaped him despite himself. "Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a bit."

By @glitteringconstellations! This fic actually. was the most traumatizing thing I'd ever read HAHAHAHA. Like, not even kidding, I still haven't recovered from it. It's. Like I highly recommend it but it's VERY much horror and VERY creepy and disturbing. AND I MEAN DISTURBING. It's SO GOOD but I was definitely traumatized and not okay after :))

#whump writing #whumpblr #fic recs #asterrisks #whump #the phantom of the opera #phantom of the opera #wednesday #batfam #batman #dc #voltron legendary defender #voltron #tyler galpin #raoul de chagny #tim drake #red robin #keith voltron

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anarchy-and-piglins · 3 months

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you asked and I deliver (I am exceedingly partial to “there are hybrid hunters and they are an active threat” osmp settings so be forewarned)

He spends a long time making bolt holes and hideaways around the valley, stocking them with weapons and food. When confronted, he says they’re in case of emergency for if hunters find the valley. They’re actually for the worst case scenario (the hybrids finally get fed up with having a human in their midst and run him out of town like he thinks he deserves) the rest of the crew finally put together their actual purpose only after Ran and Tubbo get angry one day after he messes with one of their projects. They yell loud and long enough to drive him into a panic, he vanishes, and the crew have to organize a party to find him before the hunters do.

They find Techno in the woods a few months after noticing the hunter’s traps seem to be sabotaged without their intervention. He gets cornered by a group of hunters, gutted and left for dead, and they barely manage to keep him alive. Niki is the first one he sees when he wakes up. he compliments her hair, and she decides right then and there that he’s staying.

Techno grew up in a mixed hybrid family and when they were captured, suffered a lot of scarring. He spends the first few months of his time with the osmp crew pretending to be a hybrid with his hybrid features surgically removed, because he’s afraid they won’t accept him and he can’t go back to the humans who did that to him in the first place.

None of the crew think about how dangerous it is for someone who can’t fly, can’t breathe underwater, cant shrink, and can’t teleport to navigate the floating islands and high bases. Techno manages through sheer stubborn grit for a while before a nasty fall takes him out of commission for a month.

He’s painfully touch-starved for a really long time. It takes a lot of late nights and awkward hugs before Phil sees him staring at a preening circle longingly and realizes touch starvation is also a human thing. He now gets to participate and they play with his hair until he passes out.

he’s usually barefoot. He’s also always got a few knives on him.

Ranboo has a lot of hair jewelry and Techno borrows it regularly. He’s the only one that’s allowed.

Okay okay okay, I'm munching and crunching on these as if they are a bowl of little snacks for me

Ough that one is painful but so so accurate to Techno's character. I wouldn't be surprised if the hidey holes are kind of meant for both, though at the end of the day Techno figures for a long while the hybrids are a bigger threat to him than other humans just because his expectations are so low

HSKJSQJHSQJSQQS YES nice and whumpy, perfect human!Techno osmp backstory

We've been over this but human!Techno pretending to be a hybrid is always tasty

YEAH, I love the 'accidental whump through oversigh' thing so much. Nobody is actively trying to make the commune hostile to Techno, it just is by design and he's too stubborn to mention it until he gets seriously hurt hehe

hsqkhqjqssq UEUEUEUEUE yes

I feel like walking around barefoot is such a bad idea he's gonna lose some toes. Good for him tho!

Peerpressureduo my beloved, I think Ranboo used to have long hair and then cut it off at some point (maybe because long hair was a sign of enderman royalty and they're doing the whole 'disowned by my shitty family' thing). Their hair is now a little above shoulder lenght and they still wear a lot of hair jewelry, but they love braiding Techno's hair and making it pretty and such. It's like, recontextualising something that used to be painful because it reminded them of their family

#technoblade #ranboo #thoughts #asks #tagging ranboo specifically for that last one hehe

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amourtoken · 8 days

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Can I share my Will brainrot, please?

Cause I just finished watching the science video on The Charismatic Voice with Will and the rot is smutty and whumpy. His neck being very sensitive after throat needles and he gets whiny and begs for all kinds of neck kisses, licking, and mouthing to feel better. Maybe he blows a load in his pants cause sensitive and amazing and he gets absolutly stupid with heart eyes and babbles.

Thanks for letting me share. 💕

HELP ME YOUR BRAIN IS SO SEXY TY

Will already gives me the vibes he's sensitive to touch but after being poked and prodded all day he's ready for some softness yk?? It gets exhausting very quickly.

You figured he'd come home and try to sleep the meds and soreness away but the second he sees you upon stepping through the door, he's flopping on the couch and begging you to come cuddle. Who are u to deny him?? He missed you and feels shitty :(((

You give in and plant yourself on top of him, chest to chest. You ask him how his day was and he explains all the details, constantly noting how he's really sore from the needles and he whines about you "kissing it better" (I want to actually put him in a blender I love him sm)

Ofc you try to be gentle at first cause it's sore but the second your lips make contact with his throat he's sighing and making pretty little sounds, tipping his head back against the arm of the couch so you have more room. His hands slide down your body to settle on your hips, moving you to grind against his while you're licking stripes up his neck and leaving messy kisses everywhere you can reach, the ache from the needles honestly spurs him on a little.

All you've done is roll your hips against his and kiss his neck and he's breathless. You lace your fingers through his hair with one hand and tug gently while your teeth brush right against a few of the needle marks and he's literally shaking under you, fingers digging into your hips while he holds you down against him tightly and cums all over himself with a pathetic whimper.

This doesn't stop you though, you're on a mission at this point. He's completely pliant and pitiful under you, still trembling in aftershocks and whining little moans as his heads leaned back. He's just so fucking easy.

#UGH THIS IS THE ONE #Ask #Will #Will ramos smut

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whumprecs · 4 months

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I've been telling friends about one of my favorite shows, Magnificent Seven, from late 90's, which was also probably my first foray into fandom. I don't even know why I or even how I found fanfic back in 1998 - but I did, and I have loved them ever since. But it's not just the show that I love, it is the fandom. Maybe because it was almost all older women, or maybe people were just nicer back then - there were no ship wars. None. Not even a thing. 99% of the fandom is genfic A++++ Found Family, but the ones who did ship characters together Shipped and Let Ship. Nobody bothered anybody. And there were like 7 or 8 widespread AU's that everyone agreed on - there was the OG Old West where the show was set, but then there was the WILDLY popular (to the point I thought THAT was the actual premise for the show, and 10 year old me was very shocked to find it was a western) ATF AU where the characters were federal agents. There was Lil Britches, which had several of the characters are children and the rest are adults, there's Star Trek and Star Wars, and them as private detectives, WWII soldiers, etc. The lists are endless. And none of them are bad.

And almost every single one of them is whumpy as fuck.

So I'm going to recommend my favorites:

The South Wind Series by Beth aka Midge

Replaced by Heather F

Pied Piper by Kelly A

Rough Beginnings by Shawna

The Devil's Bargain by Sue Necessary

Aftermath by BMP

Black and White by Violette

Abandoned by Jean

Ezra, In Between by MAC

Tuesday's Child: Lessons of Grace by Joy K

Run Like Hell by Beth aka Midge

Don't Know From Adam by Jordan Mckenzie

Bearing the Pain by Angela B (crossover with Big Valley)

All Things Considered by Nilah H

I could list pretty much every one I've ever read - I don't actually know that I read an M7 fic I didn't care for. However, almost all of these listed authors have more than one fic (some have a LOT more). So if you like them, more are easier to find. I haven't actually looked to see what's available on Ao3 or even ffn.net - because neither site existed when the fandom was in its heyday and everyone had their own web page for posting.

#magnificent seven #whump rec #fanfiction rec #yo these writers were godsends to 10 year old me #ezra standish #chris larabee #buck wilmington #josiah sanchez #nathan jackson #JD dunne #Vin tanner

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alittlehurtwithyourcomfort · 2 years

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kdrama whump recs: found family/team as family edition

Found family/team as family is my favorite trope, and when it’s combined with whump it’s even better! So, without further ado, here are some of my favorite whumpy kdramas featuring these tropes! (This list is not a ranking!)

1. The Uncanny Counter (2021)

Age Rating: TV-14

Synopsis: So Mun is an orphaned high-school student who suddenly gains supernatural powers. Soon after, the local noodle-shop employees recruit him into their team of “Counters”, where he begins to learn of the evil spirits roaming around town.

Notes: This was actually my first-ever kdrama! It’s a great blend of action, drama, and comedy. It also has one of the most unique “magic” systems I’ve seen, with the “Counters” each connected to a spirit in the afterlife. It’s also extremely whumpy, with a lot of comfort and care given to the characters. Definitely recommend.

Here is a whumplist by @love-me-a-lotta-whump

Here is a whumplist for Season 2!

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2. Bulgasal: Immortal Souls (2021)

Age Rating: TV-MA

Synopsis: Dan Hwal has lived for the past 600 years as a Bulgasal—a mythical creature that feeds off human blood and is cursed with immortality. Eventually, he connects with his reincarnated family, along with a formerly immortal woman.

Notes: This show is pretty complex and can get confusing at times. It’s also heartbreaking, but the characters make up for it! There’s a TON of whump for both characters shown in the GIF above.

Here is a whumplist by @love-me-a-lotta-whump

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3. Mystic Pop-Up Bar (2020)

Age Rating: TV-MA

Synopsis: Han Kang-bae is a young man with the ability to make people confess their deepest troubles with a single touch, but this power isn’t always a gift to him. One night, he meets the mysterious owner of a pop-up bar, a woman who must settle the grudges of 100,000 souls in order to gain a peaceful place in the afterlife.

Notes: This show isn’t the most whumpy on this list by any means, but it still has a good amount! What stood out to me were the relationships between the main trio of characters and how close they become with each other over the course of the show. No spoilers here, but this drama does involve reincarnation...

Here is a whumplist by @whumperfect

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4. While You Were Sleeping (2017)

Age Rating: TV-14

Synopsis: Three young adults discover that they all have the same ability: seeing the future in their dreams. As a trio, they work together to attempt to change these (sometimes terrible) visions and save each other from harm.

Notes: Though this show is more focused on the romance between Jae-chan and Hong-joo, there are some great moments of found family feels between the main trio, sometimes including Jae-chan’s little brother and a different character who somewhat acts as a father figure. Pretty whumpy show that I absolutely adored watching! (Plus, the cast is STELLAR! I mean, Suzy, Jong-suk, and Jae-in together in a drama? It’s so good.)

Here is a whumplist by @whumpalot

Here is a whumplist by @thewhumpyrabbit

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5. Tomorrow (2022)

Age Rating: TV-MA

Synopsis: Choi Jun-woong is a young man struggling to find a job, but when he falls into a coma after an unfortunate accident, he’s offered a place on the Risk Management Team as a temporary grim reaper. Together, they help save people from s*icide.

Notes: Possibly my most favorite kdrama ever! It has more emotional whump than physical for the most part, but it’s so amazingly done. The main trio (plus another character, later in the show) have such great platonic chemistry, and even though they have conflicts, you can tell they all truly care for each other even after a short amount of time. (Rowoon’s acting talents are really highlighted in this show, as well as the other main leads!)

Here is a whumplist I made!

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6. The Devil Judge (2021)

Age Rating: TV-14

Synopsis: This series is set in a dystopian version of South Korea, where the people live in chaos and corruption runs rampant. Trials are held through a courtroom live show aired on television, led by "The Devil Judge”.

Notes: This show is very dark, but has an interesting dynamic between the characters that evolves and grows over the course of the show. The characters are complex and imperfect, and though their conflicts are intense, it just makes the domestic moments so much better because of it. It has some good whump for the two main characters, and of course, Jin-young is an added bonus.

Here is a whumplist by @whumpslist

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7. He is Psychometric (2019)

Age Rating: TV-14

Synopsis: Lee Ahn is a young man with the ability to read the memories of any object or person he touches. He begins to train his powers in order to help solve crimes and get justice for the death of his parents.

Notes: One of my favorite kdramas ever and a must-watch for anyone in the kdrama whump community. Fair warning, this show will absolutely shatter your heart, but it has such a great storyline with many twists and turns. This is a complex found family, and though the show does have a romance, it’s a really good one. Also, there’s SO MUCH WHUMP! Like in every single episode. It’s truly amazing. Jin-young never fails to amaze me with his acting.

Here is a whumplist by @love-me-a-lotta-whump

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Alright, that’s the end of the list (at least for now)! If you have any recommendations for more whumpy found family/team as family kdramas, please comment them or send me them! <3

#kdramas #kdrama #kdrama whump #kdrama whump recs #whump #whumpy #whump community #whump recs #whumpy shows #whumplist #whumplists #the uncanny counter #bulgasal #mystic pop up bar #while you were sleeping #tomorrow kdrama #the devil judge #he is psychometric

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whumpr · 11 months

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Intro Post! Hello!

Hi! You can call me Coyote or Michael, whichever one you want. I’m NOT the transphobic person who had this url before, they deactivated and I snatched it up. 😈 I’m a 26 year old gay trans guy and I like it when hot people get hurt. I’ve been writing whump for like two years now but this is my first time actually buckling in and making a whump blog!

This is mostly going to be a general whump blog but I’m gonna have a pretty heavy focus on gay and trans characters.

My other blogs:

@arcanesciences My main blog. Random shit mostly. Likes and Follows will be from that url!

@brinkofdiscovery My writing blog! I post all my writing there, whump or not. The way it’ll probably work here is I’ll post there initially and reblog whump here.

@adnrew & @monotropaunifloras Fun little side projects! IC sideblogs for two of my ocs. They don’t update much, though! Never got them off the ground. But You’ll see Nortak and Andrew around.

Here you can expect a variety of whumpy stuff. Lots of pictures which don’t normally go on my writing blog (its not the right CATEGORY), some show gifs here and there, some other people’s writing. And lastly blood. Lots and lots of blood. (I will tag it.)

(I also really like religious horror, ironically enough. Part of me is a little worried people will think I’m the other guy if I post it here too soon though 😂)

#Although i doubt a conservative christian would be reblogging shit like faith and midnight mass #but you never know #whumpblr #whump community #whump intro

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daniwib · 2 months

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Hiiii 💕💕💕

For the fic never have I ever:

1) have you ever written anything about buddie and sleeping (like an insomnia fic, nightmares, cuddling and falling asleep, etc)?

2) have you ever written anything about buddie and chronic pain?

3.) have you ever written anything about buddie and hurt/comfort? What about angst?

4) have you ever written any sort of buddie AU?

-❤️🪐

Hey, hii!

(Me, holy shit, someone actually sent me an ask? Stay cool, stay cool, it’s cool everyone!)

(Also me, oh shit, I did not realise that this means I have to remember what I’ve written. Hmm. This may have been a mistake, I have the worst memory, I really do. Goes and checks out own ao3 profile for the answers…)

Ok here we go.

Nightmares. Oh hey look at that! I’ve actually got a fic with the word in its title, who knew! A spell for nightmares & fractured hearts is a short and fluffy lil fic about Buck helping Chris heal after the tsunami, and then Chris (and Eddie) helping Buck do the same. And because I’m allergic to fluff, I followed it up with part 2 in that series being long, whumpy and angsty. As for falling asleep, cuddling or insomnia, I can’t find anything in my quick search but I think I’ve written all of those in several of my fics, just not as a major part of the plot, more as part of the comfort part after the hurt usually.

Similar answer for chronic pain, I think? I’ve referenced it here and there in various fics but haven’t written on just about that. It’s a little bit too close to home for me, my dad has had 3 hip replacements (first because of major injury as a firefighter when I was 10, he fell through 3 floors in a burning building) so having lived with someone experiencing it, it doesn’t really appeal to me to write.

Buddie and hurt/comfort – um. Pretty much every single one of my Buddie fics?! I filtered my works with that tag and got 30 hits, so…. Here’s one I’m posting right now that I’m kinda proud of Pictures of You, in which Abuela dies post season 6, Eddie hurts and Buck comforts.

Buddie and angst – refer to above answer lol. If I had to choose a favourite, I think I’d choose empty, broken, lonely, hoping, my beloved presumed dead fic where Buck and Christopher are thought to have perished when Buck’s apartment building burns down and Eddie goes through several chapters of angst. It’s unrelenting really, poor guy. 4. Buddie AU – again, I’ve got several depending on your definition.

If you want a truly Alternate Universe, try I Once Was Lost. It’s a Peter Pan fusion where Buck is Peter, Eddie is Wendy Darling and almost all of the other characters feature in Neverland too. It covers from their childhood up until the end of season 5 and I have a particular soft spot in my heart for it.

If you prefer Canon Divergence, try There Walks Darkness. It’s basically What If Maddie didn’t kill Doug and he was arrested instead – and was one of the prisoners who took Buck and Eddie hostage in season 5? It features a lot of hurt Buck, Buck whump, worried Eddie and the 118, some of my favourite tropes to write.

And lastly, if you prefer supernatural AU, try Returned for a shorter read, which perhaps unsurprisingly is based on the movie and tv show… Returned.

Which reminds me of another supernatural AU that I can’t believe I forgot because I adore it! Trust Me, Darlin’ is my first collab, with the lovely @hella-cious! It's a Supernatural / 911 crossover in which Buck runs into an old hook up (Dean Winchester ofc) at a scene in LA and is promptly kidnapped before the 118’s eyes. Lots of angst and whump in this one and while there is Buck/Dean because lets face it, those two are far too hot not to ship together, it ends in Buddie (and Destiel too, for SPN fans!)

So, wow. There you go. This was a lot longer than I expected it to be but then I’ve never done one of these before. Thanks for being my first ask @steadfastsaturnsrings !!

#ask game #never have I ever #fanfic writing game #911 #buddie #supernatural #SPN #destiel #Peter Pan #Wendy Darling #evan buckley #eddie diaz #9-1-1 #911 abc #whump #angst #hurt/comfort #fanfiction #9-1-1 fanfiction

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infinite-orangepeel · 2 years

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a whumpy af steve harrington excerpt from ch. 1 of my soft dom eddie fic

aka this boy has a lot of unresolved trauma & eddie munson is going to help him heal

(the rest of the chapter that contains the actual smut will be linked below, i’m scared of tumblr shadow banning me again for posting the full thing in here)

TW: panic attacks, discussions of mental illness, suicidal ideation, vomiting/nausea (as symptom of panic attacks), disordered eating habits, ptsd, heavy themes, lots of emotions

★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★

It comes down to this. Steve Harrington doesn’t trust himself. Not anymore. Not since everything went to shit in The Upside Down and Max ended up on life support.

Honestly, he didn’t feel all that abnormal about it for the first few months. It was easier to ignore the magnitude of his problems when his friends were clearly struggling right alongside him. There was something about strength in numbers or a sense of community–being convinced he wasn’t the only one totally fucked up in the aftermath of the final battle.

Regardless, it kept him afloat for a while.

Robin often called in the middle of the night to vent about her own flashbacks and the nightmares they prompted. The two grew accustomed to seeking comfort on opposite ends of the telephone line, twisting the cords around their fingers and whispering “ me too, I have that one too,” as to not wake the monsters underneath their beds. Sometimes, it got so bad that the sun would rise and they’d still be trying to snap each other out of it. Yawning through the agony of another sleepless night and fixing themselves cups of black coffee to alleviate the ensuing exhaustion.

Lucas had shown up on his doorstep enough times that Steve finally had another key made. He was tired of coming home from work and seeing the boy sulking there out in the cold–grief written plainly all over his face. Steve handed him the key on a carabiner clip–so Lucas could comfortably carry it around on his belt loop–and assured him he was welcome day or night. Steve’s parents had moved out of town after the infamous Hawkins’ “earthquake,” so Steve was solely in charge of approving any and all guests at the Harrington household. Lucas, of course, was at the top of his list–he was family, they all were. As long as the boy agreed to let himself in, warm-up on the couch, and grab a snack from the pantry–he could come over any hour he needed. No more rotting outside with tears forming icicles on his cheeks. Steve wouldn’t have that.

El refused to leave her bedroom–holed up beneath a fort of blankets and wouldn’t speak to anyone for days on end–until Hopper called up the gang and they elected ‘Babysitter Steve’ to go handle it. He was the most qualified in their eyes, what with his protective older brother attitude, gentle approach, and dorky jokes. Sure enough, El didn’t banish him right off the bat–not like she had with some of the others–namely, Mike Wheeler. She let him get close without protest and when he hugged her, she fell apart against his chest–guilt pouring out of her at the fact that she hadn’t been able to save Max from Vecna. He brushed the knots out of her hair with cautious fingers and listened. She just needed someone to listen. That was all it took. By the end of the night, she was sandwiched in between him and Hopper on the well worn couch, openly laughing at the plot of Pretty in Pink.

Nancy wore a poker face for the most part, but she wasn’t completely immune to the lasting effects of trauma. She held it together in public, like the first lady at a brutal press conference–politely smiling and waving for the crowd. She’d made it her personal goal to distract the kids from what was really going on–with Max–back at the hospital. This manifested itself in her implementation of weekly game nights, arcade afternoons, and community service outings. Naturally, Steve attended more than a handful of these events–lending a helping hand to rangle the younger teens. It was only once the kids had been dropped off at their respective addresses that Nancy would let her artificial smile fall and tell Steve what was really on her mind. The loss, the fear, the worry. He’d hold her hand– platonically of course, it wasn’t like that anymore –across the center console of his BMW and nod along to the tune of her suffering. It was one he knew well, played on repeat.

Thus, Steve managed his own anxiety by keeping that of the others at bay. His role became narrowly defined as the one who would help you regulate your breathing through the course of a vicious panic attack, the one who was considered reliable in a world that had become anything but. It gave him a sense of purpose and a reason to keep moving forward. He couldn’t simply hide away in his oversized bedroom when he knew his friends were busy laying catatonic in theirs. So, day after day, he pulled himself up by his bootstraps, usually forgot to eat, chugged excessive amounts of caffeine, and set out to mend all of the broken wings but his very own two.

Eventually, there was healing. The ball started rolling around the time Max woke up. After four months of breathing tubes, IV’s, heavy medications, and machines keeping her alive–she opened her eyes one day and slowly began to inhabit her body again. Within a few weeks of round-the-clock physical therapy, solid foods, and monitored pain management–she was discharged from the ICU and returned home. Cane in hand, coke bottle glasses on the bridge of her nose, and slight gaps in memory–she wasn’t the same, but she was as close to it as she could be and that was all that mattered. She was breathing on her own accord–beautiful, steady inhales and exhales–that alone was a miracle in and of itself.

After Max settled back into her normal life, everyone else seemed to follow suit. Once the high school was fixed up by the hands of a devoted construction crew and summer came to a close, the kids started in on their sophomore year. Fall semester provided a new routine that included basketball practices, D&D campaigns (Will Byers quickly ascended to President of Hellfire Club in Eddie’s place), and tests to study for. On top of all that, somehow Steve was going to have to teach each of the little twerps how to drive, which absolutely terrified him. However, there was no way he was going to let anyone else instruct his kids on how to be safe behind the wheel. Yeah, no fucking way.

The Party finally had the opportunity to just be kids–for the first time in almost four years–and Steve was happy for them. Really, he was. Now, they could ride their bikes around the neighborhood–just for the heck of it, not because they were pedaling away from otherworldly monsters. They could waste time down by the lake and not have to search the murky waters for the dead body of their missing friend. They could be innocent and stupid and naive and not have to worry so much about the life altering consequences.

And, as happy as he was for them, Steve just couldn’t help but selfishly miss the era in which Lucas spent most nights on his couch–talking about nothing until the wee hours of the morning. The era in which El asked him to drive her to Family Video each Saturday–ready to pick out the next chick flick that would make Hopper groan. His schedule and his house suddenly felt a lot emptier without a bunch of rugrats calling upon their favorite babysitter. The silence often felt like it could swallow him whole. He hated it.

As for Nance and Robin, they had their own paths to explore–ones that unfortunately, didn’t directly involve Steve. That was okay, but it also wasn’t.

Nancy was reapplying to Emerson–early decision–and like everything else she did, she was hellbent on her college essays being absolutely perfect. She made the local library her second home as she wrote and edited and then edited some more. Steve knew there was not a chance in the world that Nancy Wheeler wasn’t going to be accepted to the school of her dreams and become an incredible journalist. She was destined for greatness. Always had been.

Robin landed herself a girlfriend and was so lovesick it hurt. Vickie quickly became the center of her universe. She had this insane gravitational pull on Steve’s best friend and he’d never seen anything like it. Robin looked like a whole new person, shining from the inside out. They did their best to include him in their plans on a regular basis, but Steve really didn’t want to burden them with his presence. Not that the girls ever made him feel that way. He was just a bit too aware of the fact that no couple looks forward to having a constant third-wheel, so he backed off when he could and lied about being busier than he was–acting like there was a laundry list of activities for him to attend to.

Truthfully, he spent most weekends alone in front of the T.V. or picking up extra shifts at the video store. Unsure of how he suddenly became the only one stuck in the past, haunted by creatures that no longer walked the Earth. It didn’t make sense. Why couldn’t he move on like everyone else? Max had been kissed by death and yet, she made it to school every day and somehow, still found the energy to ask Lucas to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Steve, on the other hand, had exited The Upside Down with minor injuries–practically, unscathed–but for some reason, he dry heaved into the toilet every morning and questioned his entire existence. Spitting up bile and wondering how long it would take before his heart jumped ship, too. He imagined it would only be a matter of time, before the center of his own being decided it was unwilling to marinate in the sad toxic wasteland any longer. Abandoning him and begging to be flushed down, along with the rest.

It’s definitely less than ideal to have some idiot ring your doorbell, when you’re right in the middle of balling your eyes out–facedown on the living room floor–and wondering why God or the universe or whatever the fuck just had to plop you down on this cursed planet in the first place.

It’s actually super embarrassing and kind of the stuff of his nightmares, but that’s exactly the position Steve Harrington finds himself in on a random Tuesday evening.

There’s nothing special about it. Just another day trying not to break apart at the seams, wasting the hours by choking on his unforgiving past. Nothing left to do, but wallow in self-hatred and stare at the popcorn ceiling.

In theory, he could just play dead and ignore the irritating chime of the bell, but on the off chance that it’s one of his friends or the pizza delivery guy has arrived early–he begrudgingly gets up and makes his way to the front door. Dizzy from standing up too fast on an empty stomach, he reaches out for the wall to steady his gait. Unable to find the motivation to clean up his appearance before wrapping his trembling fingers around the cold doorknob. Whoever it is, is just going to have to deal with the mess–just like Steve does every single day.

There’s no nice way to say it. Steve looks like shit. There’s dark circles ringing his sunken eyes that make him look like the kin of the local raccoons. The same ones that devour his uneaten groceries from the garbage cans each week. It’s a charitable donation–philanthropic even. He goes on a depression fueled hunger strike and his furry nocturnal neighbors get a feast fit for a king.

Due to his inability to nourish himself anymore, his cheeks have hallowed out, his muscles have shrunken down, and his once tan skin appears jaundiced–sickly yellow. There’s acrid bile drying on his cracked lips from the most recent upheaval of his guts. This time it was spurred on by the grotesque image of Vecna’s corpse-like face. It keeps popping up in his mind without warning, like one of those jack in the box clown toys–raking the sharp nails of nausea across the lining of his stomach.

He doesn’t immediately register who the person on the other side of the door is, which is laughable, because it wasn’t all that long ago that Steve carried the guy’s limp body out of an alternate dimension and gave him mouth to mouth. They’re not exactly strangers.

Thirty seconds go by before his brain starts back up and processes the identity of the man standing before him. As if the secretary of his memory had disappeared from the front desk and took a while searching the filing cabinets to fill in the blanks:

Mr. Harrington? Sorry about the delay. We’ve located the files. That’s Eddie Munson you’re looking at. We’re sure of it.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were-” Steve starts, roughly wiping at his bloodshot eyes to make sure he’s not hallucinating. Anything is possible when you’ve lived through what he has.

“-in hiding?” Eddie says nonchalantly, leaning against the porch–he’s taller than Steve remembers, “I was. Spent a lot of time bored as shit in a rather crappy hotel room, but Hopper gave me the all clear yesterday and I just moved back into my Uncle’s place. Sorry if I stink, it’s because I’ve been carting boxes around all day–you’ll have to get over it.”

#this one is angsty #whump steve harrington #steddie fic writers #steddie ficlet #steddie fic excerpt #steddie ao3 fic #ao3 steddie #steddie recs #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #soft dom eddie munson #bottom steve harrington #steddie smut #steddie angst #steve x eddie #steve harrington needs a hug #the babygirlification of steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson

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whumping-valentine · 6 months

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🦌 Fawn and Hunter - Part 3 🦌

"Restless Nights"

Content: Paranoid whumpee, fear of being SAed, uhhh idk this is mostly setup for the next chapter which will be much more whumpy.

1,100 words

(Not) continuing on with my part-a-day challenge (to the fullest) but I'll try to get a part out on the regular! Congrats, you now know what I'm like as a content creator! Rule of thumb, if I ever say "I'll try to—" or "I will be—" you can count on me to never deliver!

However, in my own defense, I've been working my job a shit ton recently, and am also working on a 12 book series, and also working on the series for Valentine that I'll be posting here, and drawing a lot, so I'm pretty busy, lol. But as always, excuse my writing quality for this mini series, I just shit these out into Google Docs and then copy and paste them here.

With that said, I humbly bring you all part 3! The next part is where the whump is really gonna start coming through, so stay tuned for that (and the eventual off-the-rails plot I thought of at 3 am while trying to sleep)

Fawn was in a state of shock, and they knew it, too. They didn’t feel very much besides the anxiety that coursed through their veins. They should be frightened, and feel disgusted. They should be crying, and panicking, and trying to find a way out. Yet all they could do was sit up right on the old dirty mattress, hugging their knees to their chest as they stared into the pitch black darkness of Hunter’s basement.

Eventually they fell back against the mattress, hands over their chest as their heart beat wildly, yet they felt nothing. Not even tired. Sleep was nowhere near on their mind. All they could think about was their own stupidity. How they managed to walk right into a psychopath’s literal trap. Thoughts of the future wavered through their mind, and none of the scenarios were favorable.

Were they going to be killed? No, Hunter alluded to it, but said they were too pretty, whatever the hell that means. Was that really the only thing keeping them alive? What if they accidentally piss them off? What if they grow bored of them? But… What do they even want with them in the first place? Something nice to look at? A pretty pet? Where they going to be raped? They didn’t even want to consider the thought.

Fawn couldn’t hear a single sound other than the sound of their own breathing and heartbeat. They couldn't even see their own hands in front of them. There were no windows, no connections to the outside world. It was sensory deprived hell, and as the minutes ticked away they felt like they were going insane.

They couldn’t take it anymore, and sat up, slowly getting up to stand on their one good foot. They wobbled and felt weak, but once they got their footing they slowly hopped to where they saw the light string. Reaching out blindly in the darkness, they felt it in their hands, and pulled it. A click rang through the air, and the basement was illuminated, albeit dimly, but they could at least see.

The basement was full of all kinds of clutter, like tools, weapons, boxes, taxidermied animals, bones, fur rugs, and mounted animal heads. There were a bunch of spiders, cobwebs, and cockroaches scurrying around. Good thing they weren't afraid of bugs. At least they had some company.

The mattress was torn and covered in blood and dirt. Lots of dried blood, actually. How many others were here before them? How many others spent their last nights on this same, tattered bed? It all felt too surreal. It couldn't be real. This was a horror movie, or a true crime documentary in the making, and they were the next subject. Why them of all people? Life isn't fair.

They began to carefully and quietly sift through the various things Hunter kept down there. Looking through the boxes, opening drawers, peeking behind furniture. Inside a metal cabinet were multiple folders and papers. The papers being....

...Missing posters?

First came confusion, then came the wide eyed terror and the sinking of their heart. In shock their shaking hands dropped the papers, and when they got their bearings, picked them back up, examining them.

There were some from different places, but most of them came from the same nearby town that Fawn had just moved to. They could recall seeing some of them around town, or in newspaper ads. Even conversations with the locals about how people often go missing... The oldest one of the bunch was ten years ago. The most recent was only from 6 months ago.

Fawn felt sick to their stomach. Asking how many people were here before them was supposed to just be rhetorical.

Fawn grabbed a knife that was sitting on one of the tables, and turned out the lights. It was old and rusted, but just having a weapon in their hands at least gave them the illusion of safety. They clutched it tightly in both of their hands, sitting on the mattress. They were restless and anxious, with their wide eyes staring towards the door in darkness. They could hear the floorboards creak above them, and they hoped and prayed Hunter wouldn't come back down the stairs.

Especially if they thought they were asleep.

Though much like Fawn, Hunter wasn't able to rest their eyes, either. However, while Fawn's may have been from fear, Hunter was far too excited. They tossed and turned, but all they could think about was their latest victim. When they remembered they had a bag with them that they removed, they jumped out of bed immediately.

Moonlight was shining through the trees, seeping into the decrepit cabin through cracked and boarded up windows. Hunter went to the kitchen and picked Fawn's bag up off of the floor, curious to rummage through their things.

It was filled with snacks and water bottles. There was a change of clothes, a pocket knife, a book on plant identification, binoculars, and finally, they hit the jackpot. A phone with no passcode! Just who was their little Fawn, really?

Their lockscreen was a photo of two cats cuddling, looking like they took it themself at a shelter. Much to Hunter's dismay, it didn't seem like they had any social medias, but they did have lots of things in their gallery!… though they were mostly just photos of animals. They couldn't find a real name or anything that was truly personal.

It wouldn't matter much even if they did have socials, because there was no signal out here. It wouldn't connect to the internet. Maybe they had something in their calendar?... no, nothing. No birthdays or events, except for some things relating to the Animal shelter.

Their phone was so void of anything that it was almost frustrating. Either they didn't use technology much, or they had absolutely nothing going on in their life besides their volunteer work. I mean, they didn't even have a passcode, Hunter was disappointed, to say the least.

A weak knock coming from the basement door startled them out of their dissatisfaction.

"Uhh… Hunter?" A meek, muffled voice called.

"What?"

"I… have to pee."

"Okay."

"I need a bathroom."

"No you don't. You have a change of clothes right here, you can change in the morning."

"What?!" Fawn was appalled, "But—"

"You should be happy you're alive and shut up. Piss on the floor and go to bed."

"But—"

"Piss on the floor and go to bed." Hunter repeated, much more stern. It was silent for a moment before quiet thumps could be heard limping down the stairs. Poor injured thing.

Hunter had a feeling this recent capture was going to be quite an interesting one. They listen well enough, but don't seem to really grasp the situation they've found themself in. It wasn't a worry, that just meant training them was going to be all the more enjoyable.

Hunter smiled.

They were going to have fun tomorrow.

#fawn and hunter #whump #whump blog #whump community #whumpblr #my writing #whump writing #whump series

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rockyroadkylers · 7 months

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WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged by @ssmtskw and @littlemisskittentoes this time! (both your fics look SO GOOD)

I'm really excited this week because. Okay, listen. I started a new WIP. I had, like, five already, but we were talking in the server last week about how there are almost no "Alex fell first" fics, which is kind of understandable because it's hard to come up with a scenario where it would be him instead of Henry, BUT! I was thinking about it a couple days ago, and I swear, it was an actual lightbulb moment.

Everyone who's read the book knows Alex had a massive crush on Henry way before he realized it for himself, and I'm convinced that crush goes all the way back to the days of J14 magazine. I mean, come on, sneaking into June's room to touch a picture of Henry's hair? Multiple times? 😂 Alex, bless your heart, babe.

Anyway, that led my train of thought to Alex getting snubbed at Rio, and the whole concept of unrequited crushes, and then came the lightbulb moment: Hanahaki AU. I've seen a few where Henry has it, but only, like, one where Alex does. And now there will be another! This is not the kind of vibe I usually go for with my writing, but it's been fun to branch out!

It's, um, slightly evil (big whumpy angst vibes), as I have already been told several times by multiple people in the server who have seen snippets, but I'm having so much fun writing it. So, here's a snippet from my newest WIP, which will either be titled "i picked the petals, he loves me not" OR "come and meet me in my garden"

---

Alex has been snubbed by political peers plenty of times before, and he would be probably snubbed by plenty more, but for some reason this rejection had hurt a hell of a lot more than any other. His heart had dropped into his stomach when Henry turned away from him, with that look on his face like if he didn’t get away from Alex fast enough, he might give him fleas.

The thing is (and it’s kind of embarrassing to admit, even to himself), Alex used to look up to Henry. Until pretty recently, as a matter of fact.

Recently, as in, about two hours ago.

He’d always been aware of Prince Henry as a general concept. The royal family is always in the news for some reason or another, so Alex grew up seeing candid shots of Henry with his parents and siblings in magazine spreads, in waiting rooms and grocery store check-outs. But he can still remember the first time he saw a picture of Henry in one of June’s magazines where he hadn’t been with the rest of his family, just featured on his own in one of those locker-sized tear-out posters, with his name printed across the page in big block lettering and a little blurb about his hobbies in the corner. Henry had looked so bright, and happy, and full of life, and easy-going. Alex had been maybe a little bit obsessed with that picture for… a solid two years. Though his obsession with the boy in the picture ended up lasting much longer.

For all the fucking good it did him, in the end.

How does the saying go? Never meet your heroes. Alex gets it, now.

If Henry really is the reason he’s spending his evening coughing up flowers instead of getting wasted at the diving finals with his sister and best friend, Alex doesn’t know if he should be madder at Henry for being a dick, or at himself for being naive enough to believe they could be friends.

---

I think I've already seen some of these people's posts on my dash today, but I'm gonna go ahead and tag @read-and-write-, @suseagull04, @affectionatelyrs, @inexplicablymine, and @anincompletelist!

#my wips #wip wednesday #rwrb #tag game

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hosseinis · 8 months

Note

"God- here just hold my hand"!!!!!!!!!

HANNAH!!! i'm sorry i ended up writing criminal minds fic but i have the BRAINROT so this is way more comedic than whumpy so you can still have fun <3

send me a ship and a prompt and i'll write a quick oneshot!

“Reid.” Hotch’s voice is tight and stressed, and Spencer can actually feel his heart pounding. Hotch’s heart. Spencer’s heart has been pounding since they first found themselves in this situation. He can’t stop counting the beats. “I need you to calm down.”

“Yeah, of course,” Spencer says far too quickly, trying to shove some of the panic back into his stomach where it’s making a run for it right up his throat. He tries to maneuver himself around a little bit and instead just pushes himself up harder against Hotch’s chest. Their increased proximity gets even worse, and Spencer’s pretty sure the pantry may actually be shrinking. “I’m calm. I’m totally calm.”

A pantry. A pantry! Who the hell gets stuck in a pantry? Especially with Hotch around, who on his best days is basically a tank dressed up in a crisp tailored suit. But then again, even a well-dressed Virginian tank apparently has no luck against an unsub with a sawed-off shotgun, Spencer reasons.

At least he just forced them to drop their guns and phones and then locked them in the pantry, rather than shoot off their faces right then and there. They did profile him to be the submissive of the pair, and that he would balk at killing someone outright. There’s a can of something digging into the small of his back. Probably tomato sauce. Or corn. Or maybe beans. So at least the team is going to realize something’s off when they don’t show back up at the police station.

“You’re not calm,” Hotch grits. Maybe he’s got a can of something nonperishable digging into his back, too.

“Sorry,” Spencer says. “We’re just— it’s really tight in here. And I’m claustrophobic. Did I mention that?”

“You did.”

“Oh. I did?”

“Several times.”

“Oh,” Spencer repeats, and tries to wiggle away from the can again. “It’s just that the traditional definition of claustrophobia refers to it as an irrational fear of confined spaces, when in reality I find it entirely reasonable to not want to be squashed into a tight space where you can barely breathe, not to mention the lack of air circulation, and adding another person into that—”

“Reid,” Hotch says again, maybe for the fourth or fifth time. “I understand that you’re anxious, but right now we need to focus our attention on getting out of the pantry.”

“He padlocked it,” Spencer replies immediately, wishing he could move his arms. They’re pressed up against Hotch’s chest, and with barely an inch difference between their respective heights, he’s basically right in Hotch’s face, too. Hotch, for his part, has his arms awkwardly positioned at his sides. Spencer’s more of a beanpole, having to duck his head to avoid smacking it into the lightbulb above them, but Hotch has bulk. He’s probably even more uncomfortable. “And you don’t have enough space to kick it down.”

“I’m aware of that,” Hotch says, and the tension in his tone has ramped up. “Do you have any ideas?”

“Uh,” Spencer says, blinking. Hotch is a little cross-eyed. “No.”

“Try to think of something, then.”

“Oh,” Spencer says again. “No, I’ve been thinking this entire time. I actually can’t stop thinking. The good news is at least that we have about twenty-one hours roughly before we run out of air, even with the CO2 buildup, because the gap under the door is about three-quarters of an inch which means we can still get some oxygen, though it would be much better if this pantry had a door with slats rather than the typical—”

“Spencer.”

The use of his given name does actually stop Spencer in his tracks, but more than that it’s the way that Hotch says it. His eyes are squeezed tight, his teeth are gritted together, and there’s a bead of sweat that’s running down the side of his temple. Classic signs of… anxiety? Stress?

“Hotch,” Spencer says in stunned disbelief, “are you claustrophobic?”

He doesn’t get a response in the form of a word, but rather in the way Hotch opens his eyes again and glares at him. It’s not a real glare, necessarily, more of a you’re not supposed to figure that out glare, which just serves to shock Spencer even more. He blinks at him.

��You are,” Spencer says.

“I’m just… not comfortable in tight spaces,” Hotch corrects, which is the textbook definition of claustrophobia. But Spencer is absolutely willing to let it slide, because there’s something… oddly comforting about being in the exact same situation as someone as stalwart and fearless as Hotch. “It isn’t usually such a problem.”

“Oh,” Spencer repeats, and hums. “True. This isn’t a typical situation one would find themselves in. I guess normally it wouldn’t even come up. And I guess that means neither one of us are entirely equipped to keep the other one calm, since both of us are starting to show the signs of increased anxiety that come from prolonged close contact while in a confined space, and increased respiration from continued anxiety could also reduce our survival rate from—”

“God.” Hotch starts wiggling, which definitely makes a bag of chips fall somewhere and manages to extract one arm, which he holds, palm towards himself, up to eye level. Spencer stares at it, and Hotch shakes his hand a bit. “Here. Just hold my hand.”

Spencer gapes at him, speechless. If only the team could see him now.

“Hold your… hand?”

“Yes, hold my hand.” Hotch stares at something just to Spencer’s left ear before his gaze slides over to make eye contact again. He pauses, and then nods slightly. “Jack asks me to hold his hand when he’s scared. I figured it couldn’t hurt, given our… limited options.”

Spencer considers that for a moment, and then manages to squeeze his arm over so that he can take Hotch’s hand. Their limited options pretty much boil down to waiting and hoping for the best, so Hotch really isn’t that far off.

“You know, Jack’s pretty smart,” Spencer finally says after a moment. “Hand-holding reduces the level of the stress hormone cortisol, which means that we’re able to think more clearly. Plus the increased pressure from our hands can slow our heart rates, decrease our blood pressure, and put us in a much more relaxed state.”

Instead of answering verbally, Hotch just squeezes his hand tighter.

Spencer thinks about it again, and then smiles a bit awkwardly.

“You know, I never would’ve guessed that about you,” he admits. “You’re pretty much the most valorous person I’ve ever met. It’s actually kind of comforting to share the same fear as you.”

Despite everything, Hotch’s lips quirk up and he squeezes Spencer’s hand once more.

“I’ll just go ahead and take that as a compliment.”

#aaron hotchner #spencer reid #criminal minds #this was written to be platonic but it can be read as a ship too!#anyway: hotch and spencer are autistic and trapped in a pantry <3 #ginny does that writing thing

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