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#so yeah it’s important to balance your work
itspileofgoodthings · 7 months
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this is your reminder that if I don’t follow you on tumblr I still love you.
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wombywoo · 6 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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freedomfireflies · 8 months
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Take Me*
Summary: An extra for Teach Me*
The one where you and your best friend, Harry, decide to move in together.
And christen every inch of the new apartment.
Word Count: 4.6k
*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*
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“Harry, you can’t be serious—”
“I am. Sit.”
With a huff, you step closer to where he’s lying on the floor, those beautiful, big green eyes peering up at you. “We have a ton of work to do, okay? And the movers will be here any minute—”
“Don’t care.” He shifts a bit, back arching from the carpet as he smooths his shirt down, getting ready. “Sit.”
Your hands find your hips and you toss him an amused frown. “Harry—”
He grabs your ankles. Tugs until you lose your balance and go crashing to the ground. And he catches you, palms on your waist to make sure you’re steady before sliding them down to your thighs.
“Harry—”
“Shh. I’m busy.”
He pulls you to his face, fingers slipping around the crotch of your large cotton shorts until he can pull them aside. He smirks when he sees there’s nothing else underneath. 
“Well, well, well,” he tsks, and you could smack the dimples off his face. “Seems you forgot something.”
You snort. “All of my underwear is packed, okay—”
“Sure.” He grins. “Yeah, no, I’m sure that’s it. I’m sure you definitely didn’t think to leave any out for today. Especially since we’re doing so much packing. And moving. And running around.”
Your expression gives you away. As does the subtle whine that rips free when he lets the tip of his nose ghost across the tender skin of your leg. “Harry…we can’t—”
“We can.” His voice is resolute as he trails his lips closer to your cunt. Tongue licking his bottom lip in anticipation. “This is our place, baby. We can do whatever we fucking want.”
Our place. It makes your heart as warm as your cheeks, and you can’t help but smile. 
It’d taken a bit of convincing from Harry to get you to move in with him. But after some extensive apartment hunting, you both found the place you wanted to call home.
And now, here you are, in your new home. Surrounded by boxes and somewhat empty rooms as Harry insists on christening this new adventure with you by having you sit on his face.
In fact, you’d no sooner walked through the door and set some of your stuff down before he suggested it.
And proceeded to throw himself onto the ground in wait.
“Harry,” you try again. A desperate whimper that seems to urge him on.
“Darling,” he retorts, fingers curling around your skin as he plants you above his mouth. “Just let me have a taste, hm? Wanna remember today like this.”
And you’re barely able to reply with a fatigued nod before he yanks you down and sucks you between his lips.
He starts fast. Quick licks to your folds and clit. Just enjoying you. Enjoying how easily you fall apart. Your hands in his hair, scratching and pulling. The pain.
He loves the pain.
Teasing you is far too easy. Circling your hole, feeling you out, flicking the delicate nerves. But the sounds of his lapping at you like a dying man with a drink of fresh water is excruciating. 
It echoes around the empty room and it’s so very loud. But it’s everything. And he’s beautiful. And he’s doing this to you purely for his own enjoyment. He loves to taste you. Loves to make you squirm on his face as you plead with him for mercy.
Everything is wet. So goddamn wet. Your pussy, his mouth, his face. He's not trying to remain poised. Not trying to keep clean. He wants all of it. Wants to share his saliva with your already soaked pussy and drink you down until there's nothing left. Let his tongue slip in, out, and through you until you can't breathe. Until he can't breathe.
His hand suddenly smacks your thigh. Once. Twice. Three times, and the sting makes you clench around the little bit of his tongue he’s taunting you with. 
He grins. “Keep going, baby. Ride my tongue. Go.”
So, you do. Hands finding the floor beside his head as you roll your hips over his face. Over and over until you feel dizzy. Until his hold on your body is the only thing keeping you upright.
It’s sinfully sweet, but before you can really lose yourself in his lips, you hear the giant moving truck parking down below. Hear the men opening the large door as they begin unloading your furniture and carrying it inside.
However, Harry doesn’t seem to be stopping, and the idea that these men will hear you as they approach is mortifying. But just when you think it’s game over, he nips your clit with his teeth and pulls.
Dazed, you smack your palm over your mouth and cry out, the orgasm ripping through you. You feel weak, nearly wilting in his hold as he struggles to keep you up right. Smirking with endless amounts of satisfaction as your thighs squeeze his head.
The moment you’ve caught your breath, there’s a knock on the door, and Harry chuckles as he calls, “Just a minute.”
He gently pinches your leg and readjusts your shorts before he’s dragging you down for a kiss. Palm around the back of your neck as he slips his tongue in beside yours. Allowing you a taste and then some. 
And you whimper through every second of it before he’s suddenly popping off your mouth with a gleeful hum and jumping onto his feet to answer the door.
Leaving you to sit on the apartment floor with your heart in your throat. 
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“Bee, shit…fuck, I can’t…I can’t—”
“You can. Know you can, baby. M’so close…just hold on a little longer for me, okay?”
Harry’s eyes roll back while his arms tug on the heavy rope keeping him tied to the headboard.
His expression is pained but blissfully fucked. Sweat collecting in his hairline as his swollen lips part for a desperate groan. 
You figured this was the best way to break in the new bedding you’d purchased for the room. The beautiful king-sized mattress with a sturdy headboard.
And after seeing him flop down onto the freshly washed duvet, you knew what you wanted to christen next.
So, you’d grabbed the restraints and wrestled his wrists to the bars. Keeping him stuck as you begin yanking his pants down his legs.
He was intrigued, to say the least. And more than willing to put the control in your hands once you grabbed the cock ring.
But he had no idea what you really had in store.
“Bee,” he tries again, gasping the closer he gets to his orgasm. Watching as your tits bounce directly in his face. “Bee, please…please, lovie—”
“I know,” you coo, one hand scratching down his chest while the other squeezes your nipple between determined fingers. “Soon, I promise. Doing so fucking good—”
“Shit.” His head drops back as his hips buck up. Body wrecked with inescapable pleasure that he can’t seem to find. 
You’ve kept him edged for almost an hour now. First by taking him into your mouth and sucking him right to the brink before leaving him there.
Then by fucking yourself with his cock, hard and with fervor only to pop off just when he was about to cum.
And finally, to really make sure he got the most of your torture, you’d slid on the vibrating cock ring, and began bouncing on him again.
He’s felt you cum around him twice already, and each time, it’s nearly killed him. Because it’s brought him that much closer before abandoning him there.
You have to admit, he’s doing incredibly well. Even when he had the chance to cum, he held back as best he could. Obeying your instructions as you got the most of his prolonged erection.
And he loves it. Loves when you use him as your own personal toy. Perhaps even more than you love it.
“Can’t…fuck, can’t hold it,” he pants, eyes pleading with you before he looks down at where your cunt is sliding down his incredibly hard cock. “Shit…shit, please. Bee, please. Do anything…anything, please—”
“Anything?” you hum, biting back a smile as you roll your hips forward just to hear him whimper.
He nods quickly. “Yes, anything. Fucking anything you want, swear…I swear…”
He sounds so depraved like this. A submissive tone of voice that breeds a certain yearning deep in your stomach.
You love this man. Love how beautiful he sounds when he’s begging. Love that you get to live with him and start a new chapter of your lives together.
You’ve never felt so lucky.
“Okay, baby,” you murmur, lifting yourself off as he whines quietly and glances down at the arousal you've left behind on his cock. “M’gonna take the ring off, okay? And I want you to tell me where you wanna cum—”
“In you,” he says before you can even finish the question. “Fucking please, Bee. Please let me cum in you. Please…be so good. Need…need to cum in you.”
You grin. “In me where, hm? You want my throat?”
His head shakes, lips pushed into a pout.
“No?” You slide the toy up the length of him, making him hiss through gritted teeth. “Do you wanna cum in my pussy, then, sweet boy?” 
He makes another noise that nearly breaks your heart as you toss the ring to the other side of the bed and return to him. “Yes…shit, yes. Please…please—”
“So pretty when you’re polite, you know that?” you hum, reaching out to cup his cheek. 
In turn, he nuzzles into your palm, seeming to settle gratefully. Looking at you like you paint the stars in the sky.
You take hold of him in your other hand and guide him back to your fluttering hole. “Okay, baby. Want you to cum for me, yeah? Give me all of it.”
He steels himself, attempting to straighten up despite the way he’s bound. Placing his feet flat on the mattress while your knees come down beside his hips.
It doesn’t take long for him to reach that inevitable end. Only a few thrusts up into you as you clench around him until he’s finishing. And you don’t even mind because he feels so good. Fucking love the way he spills inside of your cunt. The way it drips back out the minute you lift up. The way it looks, smearing across your thighs and the tip of his cock.
You both moan rather lewdly, surely horrifying your new neighbors, but you don’t mind. Because this is everything you’ve ever wanted.
Everything.
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“Har? You awake?”
The perpetually sleepy man hums as he nuzzles his face further into your neck. One arm draped over your stomach while the other is tucked beneath your neck. “Yeah.”
You smirk. “Are you sure? You seem a little out of it. Do you wanna go to bed?”
His head shakes slowly as he takes another deep breath, lashes fluttering against your skin. “No, m’fine. Just comfortable.”
You reach out to brush your fingers through his curls, smiling when you hear him sigh contently. “We can finish the movie another time, H. Come on, let’s go to bed—”
His grip constricts around your hip as he keeps you planted to the sofa. “No,” he repeats, lips disappearing into your shoulder. “No, we spent all day getting the TV and speakers set up. Wanna sit here with you and enjoy it.”
“But you’re not enjoying it. You’re sleeping,” you insist playfully. “We can finish it tomorrow, really—”
“No,” he breathes. Unrelenting. “This couch is really comfy and if you move, I’ll cry.”
You grin a bit bigger. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
The next couple of minutes are quiet. His face is still nestled just beneath your jaw. Happy. But he’s not watching a single thing that’s happening on the screen and you have to bite back a laugh.
You love a lot of things about Harry, but one of them is his inability to admit when he’s tired. He’ll keep himself awake all night before he’ll acknowledge how sleepy he really is. In fact, he could be mid-yawn and still insist he’s fine.
However, just when you think he’s begun to drift off, you feel the hand on your hip smooth down your stomach. Stopping near the band of your sweatpants—almost innocently—before quickly dipping inside. 
Warm fingers dance beneath the lace of your underwear until they can find your folds. A mindless action. Stroking softly and without devious intent. Almost as if touching you just to touch you.
You press your cheek into the top of his head. “Whatcha doin’?” you whisper.
“Nothing,” he hums. “S’just comfortable.”
“Touching me is comfortable?”
He nods once and continues gently moving his digits up and down. “I like playing with you. Makes me feel relaxed.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm. Like a stress ball but better.”
You lightly scratch your nails down his scalp. “You’re cute.”
“And you’re soft,” he murmurs, taking a deep, content breath. “Always so soft, Bee. And warm. Have no idea how good you feel.”
“I mean, I have some idea,” you tease. “It’s not like I haven’t touched myself before.”
“Funny.” His movements are lazy. There’s no alternative motive, he simply wants to feel you. “M’very happy.”
Your heart leaps into your throat as you glance down. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He rolls his head back to meet your eye. “Wanna warm my fingers in you…can I?”
There’s a racing in your chest that can’t be contained as you nod and spread your left leg a little further. Allowing him the room he needs while he pulls his hand out and sticks two fingers into his mouth.
He sucks on them slowly, coating them just so before dipping back in and smoothing the soaking digits down to your hole.
You exhale shakily at the feel of him stretching you slowly. The way your body draws him in, bends to his intentions. Clenches around him and keeps him warm.
He makes a satisfied noise of approval before nuzzling his face back into your neck, seemingly oblivious to the way you’re beginning to squirm. 
But after a moment, the ache begins to dull. And you feel happy to merely lay with him like this, one of his legs tucked over yours, his fingers sitting deep in your cunt.
It’s serene, this moment. Perfectly blissful and endlessly safe.
Here in his arms.
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“Harry…if you don’t stop—”
“What?” His grin is cheeky as he aims the showerhead down at the tile floor, allowing the water to dance down the drain. “M’just helping you get clean.”
“No, you’re being a menace,” you correct with a smirk. “I told you, no funny business—”
“I’m not being funny.” His finger taps along the cord, almost as if readying himself. “I mean, what’s the point of having a handheld showerhead if you don’t use it?”
You can’t argue that he has a point. After all, this was one of the features that drew you to the apartment in the first place, but you also know that he’s deliberately trying to tease you. “Harry, we came in here to shower because we have to leave in thirty minutes—”
“So—”
“So we don’t have time,” you remind him, handing him the loofa. “Okay, so clean yourself off, and we can try it out another time.”
However, he doesn’t accept the sponge, instead stepping even closer to you as the stream of water begins to rise. “That was before I saw how pretty you look…all soaped up and wet.”
You shoot him an amused yet playful frown. “Har…”
“What?” His eyes travel down your dripping torso and toward your cunt, the stream seeming to follow his line of focus. “I’m just helping you rinse off. S’what you wanted, right?”
The warm water feels amazing against your skin, but the pressure feels…
Your lashes flutter as you reach back to press your hands against the shower wall, needing something to brace yourself with as he continues stepping closer. “Harry…”
“What?” he says again, but it’s soft. Dangerous. Keeping the water on your inner thighs before moving up to your clit. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”
But you couldn’t tell him even if you wanted to. Because the sensation of the pointed stream hitting you just right is turning your muscles to jello. Your vision is hazy, and your head is spinning, and your body is trembling—
“Har,” you whimper, undone by the look of adoration on his face as he loops an arm around your lower back. Holding you steady as he angles the water a bit lower. “Please…”
“Please what?” His voice is a soft purr. Sexy and silky and you feel powerless to resist him. “What do you want, Bee, hm? Tell Daddy what you want.”
Your head falls back against the tile, needing some stability. You’re too far gone, too lost in his eyes. In his need to unravel you. Legs shaking as the water does everything you need it to.
Slowly, he begins to lower himself into a crouch. Now eye level with your pussy as he readjusts his grip on the showerhead. Studying you with purpose as he works you closer.
“Come on,” he coos, glancing up through wet lashes. “Come on, lovie. Let me take care of you, yeah? Just wanna make you feel good—”
Your fingers reach for his freshly washed curls, tugging hard on the soaked strands as you whine. “Don’t stop.”
He smirks. “Never.”
With that, he lowers the water, and surges forward. Lips wrapping around your clit until you gasp out his name and thrust your hips toward his mouth.
He rotates between using his tongue and the showerhead. Pushing and pulling you toward that sweet release as all other thoughts and cares melt away.
“Just like that,” he murmurs, one hand reaching back to knead your ass in his palm. Practically tugging you down before landing a firm spank to the wet skin. 
The sound echoes around the small room, the sharp contact making your pussy clench as you nearly lose your balance. 
“That’s my girl.” He massages the flesh before smacking it again, and your eyes nearly roll out of your head. “Gonna cum for me, Bee?”
You nod quickly, chest heaving as you settle into the steam rising around you. “M’so close, Har…please…”
“I know,” he says, dipping down to nudge his nose against your clit. “Can see your pretty little hole fluttering for me. Just so…fucking…empty.”
Two wet fingers slip inside you, and it’s nearly impossible to remain steady with the way he beckons the orgasm out of you. 
The pressure of the water against your clit, the fingers in your cunt, the goddamn smirk on his face. It’s everything and everywhere and you lose your grip on reality as you’re dragged through such euphoric harmony.
He rides you through for a couple minutes more before he’s standing back up and pressing his body into yours. Chest to chest, wet and flushed. His lips effortlessly capturing your own as you whimper against his tongue and throw your arms around his neck.
And maybe being late isn’t the worst thing.
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Harry is beautiful. 
In every way. And it’s not just his face or his body. But his heart. The way he speaks to you. Speaks to others. The way he carries himself, carries you. Protects you, loves you, fights for you. 
The way he betters himself for you.
And now, you get to wake up to this man every day. In this beautiful new room with large windows and sunshine and promise. A moment of tranquility reserved just for you as you count the faint freckles across his nose. As you press your finger into the dimple on his cheek. As you study the rogue, messy curls that are matted to his forehead.
You could watch him sleep for hours. Would happily lay beside him until morning turned into afternoon. 
But today? You have other plans.
It doesn’t take long for him to realize, eyes shooting open as you take him further down your throat.
He chokes on a strangled breath before glancing down, mouth dropping open with the sound of your name. 
You pop off long enough to smile and whisper, “Morning, baby,” before you’re dragging your tongue along his tip.
His head falls back into the fluffy pillows, too heavy to stay upright. Streams of golden light dance through the curtains and hit the side of his face in the most magical way you’ve ever seen. Setting that beautifully structured profile aglow in the warm hue as he sighs gratefully.
Your hands curl around his thighs, squeezing gently as you scoot closer. Getting comfortable while you bob your head up and down the length of him.
His stomach is beautiful. Muscles quivering and skin soft. Littered with a few tattoos. The same tattoos you love to run your hands down. Your lips. Your pussy.
You could stare at him for a lifetime. And your heart feels like it’s going to burst inside your chest as you suck the man you love further into your mouth.
You love waking him up like this. Granted, it’s a rare occurrence, but each time, it’s ceaselessly enchanting.
And it’s another kink the two of you have found you adore. After giving each other consent to use the other’s body as a wake-up call, you found that there was something…safe about the experience. About knowing you trusted each other enough to allow them to decide for you. 
It might not happen often, but you’re grateful for the times it does. Like now. When you get to see him look at you with lust and appreciation. 
“Bee,” he whispers, reaching out to brush his hand along your head. Cupping it gently and without force. Letting you choose how much of him you want to take. “God, m’so lucky.”
You hum around him, and he groans. “Taste so good, Daddy. Just had to have a taste.”
His thumb brushes along your cheek, feeling the way it swells with his cock. “Can have anything you want, baby girl,” he sighs. “You know that. I’m all yours. Can take whatever you want, whenever you want it.”
You’d smile if you could, instead squeezing his thighs three times to tell him you love him.
“There you go,” he grunts when you lean back to spit on him. “Fucking just like that…shit. So fucking good, baby—”
Your hand works the base of him while your lips and tongue focus on the tip. Spreading the extra lubrication around until the room fills with the sound of your pumps.
His hips are bucking up, but you can tell he’s resisting the urge to drive himself into your mouth. He wants to be gentle for you. Wants you to have the control, but he’s losing the battle quickly.
So, you shoot him a soft grin, and murmur, “Fuck my throat, Daddy. Just wanna feel good for you.”
Which is all he needs to hear in order to weave his fingers through your hair and tug.
“Is that right, hm?” he whispers deviously. “Then be a good girl…and fucking take me.”
So…you do.
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The paper towel roll goes flying to the floor, along with a bag of coffee grounds and the mail.
Harry has you bent over the kitchen island, cock deep in your cunt while his hand tugs on your hair.
“That’s a good girl,” he groans, forcing your cheek into the marble. “Fucking take me, Bee. Just like that.”
Your tits are pressed to the cold counter as you whimper something that resembles his name. Followed by a very lascivious moan when he angles his thrusts up.
He’s been insatiable all afternoon. Starting with eating you out at the breakfast table, just to edge you with seconds to spare. 
Then, the firm smacks to your ass every time he walked by. Along with sneaking up behind you to scatter hickies along your exposed neck. 
And now this.
You’d been unpacking some of the kitchen utensils and newly bought groceries when the idea hit him. Wild eyes watching you closely as you sat atop the island and rummaged through a box.
He’d slipped his way between your dangling legs and began to kiss you. Hand dancing down to your shorts to feel you out. Toying with you until you realized what he really wanted. 
Not long after, he had you down on the ground. Your panties shoved around your ankles as he took you from behind.
And you figured unpacking could wait.
“Har,” you whisper now, attempting to meet his rhythm with gentle rolls of your own. “Please…”
“What, baby girl?” he coos, feet kicking your legs further apart. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” 
And it is. It has been ever since he started eating you out on the newly built table. Warm and deliciously skilled mouth on your cunt as the dishes and plates rattled beside you.
You’d cursed him to hell for stopping before you could finish but you’re more than grateful for his remedy now. Because while his lips and tongue are divine, his cock is what you really crave.
He pulls out and lands a firm spank to your dripping and sensitive cunt. The sensation and the sound nearly making your knees buckle until he has to slip an arm around your stomach and keep you still.
Then, he does it again. And once more for good measure before he’s driving himself back in.
“Fucking hell,” he murmurs behind you, his palm still pressed to your head to keep you down. “S’fucking pretty. This sweet little hole just takes me so well, you know that? Gets me all nice and wet. Lets me fuck it the way I want. Fucking begs for me, doesn’t it?”
You nod beneath his hold, nails scraping down the counter in bliss. 
“So fucking pretty.” His other hand comes back to your thigh to squeeze it harshly before moving for your ass. Spreading you even further so he can see the way he disappears into you. “God, just like that. So cute when you’re desperate. Know you aren’t gonna last much longer, are you, lovie?”
“No,” you whimper, gasping when his cock brushes the perfect spot. “Shit, no. Can’t…can’t hold it.”
“Then you better fucking ask, hm?” he taunts, quickly yanking on your hair to force you up. “Ask me to cum. Beg me to let you cum on my cock—”
“Please,” you obey without pause. Desolate and deranged. “Please, H, please—”
“Do better,” he hisses, spanking your ass in retaliation. “Know you can do better than that, Bee. So come on, let’s hear it—”
“Daddy, please,” you correct, tears in your eyes as you try to hold back the pleasure threatening to escape. “Please, I’m so close…can’t hold it—”
“No,” he grunts, landing another smack to your skin. “Again.”
You choke on a moan and work to find the right words. Or any words at all. “Please, Daddy. Please let me cum on your cock. Need it so bad, can’t…can’t fucking stand it. Just need you, Daddy. Need you, please…”
You feel him twitch inside you before he’s growling through a clenched jaw and murmuring, “Good fucking girl…go. Right now, Bee. Fucking cum—”
And you do. Only seconds before he inevitably follows, and the overwhelming rush nearly breaks you. The way he spills inside you, the way he holds you upright, the way he presses his fingers to your clit in order to drag you even further.
He ignores your whimpers and cries for mercy, tugging your squirming frame back into his chest until you go quiet. Lips nuzzled to your cheek as he whispers, “There you go, you’re all right. Deep breath, baby. You’re okay, just want one more—”
“Daddy—”
“Shh. Just one more.” His voice is gentle although his touch is anything but. Pressing and rubbing against the overused nerves until you’re actively arching in his hold. “One more, baby girl, you can give me one more. Know you can. Doing so good—”
It doesn’t take long for the second one to find you, and you feel him smile against your jaw as you come down from his fingers. 
“There you go,” he praises quietly before taking his hand away and crouching down. The tip of his tongue ghosting up your inner thigh as you sigh.
You feel him smirk.
“Now…let's do something about this mess.”
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Next Part:
~ Break Me*
Previous Part:
~ Guide Me*
~ Full Teach Me Masterlist
Amazing credit for the beautiful dividers to @firefly-graphics 💞
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @onlystylesss28 @winterrays @jessitpwk @aslugforharry @allthelovehes @straightnogayhs @adoringhrry @harrysxcarolina @lillefroe @avasversion @littlelunamoon @harrysgf01 @lexiecamposv @spinningoutwaiting4ya @hs-tpwkrry @vyctorya @b-reads-things @thiyaabs @buckybarnessimpp @whoreforjamesbuckybarnes @cherryluvhobi @mybabyh @xellybellyx @reneemunson @juliatpwk @wolfmoonmusic @buckyssbestgirl @wandasbae616 @imavirginhoe @nuggetdean @chubby-cheek-calum @itsmytimetoodream 
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caesium-55 · 2 months
Text
—seven days. [ iii ]
pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.
summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.
author's note: hi hello welcome to part three. i flunked the quiz. lemme know what you think. NOT BETA READ. NOT EDITED. this chapter kinda sux. can't believe i went through a breakup just last week and i still cant write decent post-breakup scenes.
tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab hope i didn't forget anyone.
masterlist.
you: *sent a link*
him: ?
him: what's this
you: benefits of crying
you: read it it's enlightening
him: some people do not cry over a breakup you know and that is totally okay
you: why crying helps.
you: 1. tears release toxins, stress hormones to be specific. it is good to let all the bad energy out.
you: 2. it aids sleep. no need for further explanation.
you: 3. crying releases oxytocin and endorphins. i know you don't know what an oxytocin or an endorphin is but they're happy chemicals.
you: 4. crying helps you receive the support you need from the people around you. EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY is okay, max. stop treating it like an STD.
him: it feels like an std
you: pussy
you: emotional vulnerability is a thing and it's normal so stop trying to be a big strong man when you're barely holding it together.
you: you may look fine now but i know you
him: please stop
you: no
you: 5. crying has a self soothing effect. very nice actually. it activates the rest and digest system.
him: what even is that
you: the parasympathetic nervous system
him: ??
you: this is why you shouldn't have dropped out of high school
you: education is important yknow
you: youre already lacking in three forms of intelligence, academic, emotional n social intelligence
him: fuck you im smart
you: fuck you 2 and yeah you're smart but only in geography
you: you probably can't do your taxes
him: im dutch so the company's account department do it for me by default
him: the american system is just weird
you: cant argue w/ u there
you: also, 6. crying helps restore emotional balance
you: see? you need that
you: yknow now that i think abt it you should consider seeking therapy
him: what makes you think i’m not in therapy right now
you: well have you considered getting MORE therapy?
You stand in front of the body mirror, holding the Red Bull polo shirt against your body to see how it looks on you for one last time. On your right sleeve, the word MANAGER is written in bold, white text. Because that was what you were. Just a manager.
In another universe this is not the shirt that you’d be wearing. The MANAGER would have been ENGINEER. In another another universe where your family has been well-off enough to continuously send you to karting school and you would have been the one driving the fucking car by now.
You know, if Max has even tried talking to Horner and suggested that you should be moved into the engineering team, then you wouldn't be stuck wearing this god-awful polo that burned your skin every time you wore it for work. Everybody reduced you as Max’s American manager and because you are American, most of them kind of just assumed that you're dumb, you know?
Does the world even know how smart you are? That you graduated top of your class, got the best thesis award, and that you had finished your masters just this year? Did they even know that a Japanese car company wanted you on their research team? That a NASCAR team wanted you on board as one of their engineers? Does Max even know?
Fuck no. He only knows that you're the best at ironing clothes and organizing his Google calendar and memorizing his entire coffee order by heart. He knew you're good at extinguishing kitchen fires and kicking ass in YSL Opyum heels. You doubt he knows that you can do Calculus in your sleep.
You can take it if the world puts you down for your appearance. But if the world puts you down because of your intellect? That's a different story. You'll take any insult to the face but not to your intelligence.
You have four days left in Monaco so you have begun packing already. You're right, everything did fit into three suitcases. Also, you haven't told Max yet. For some reason, you’re too anxious. Which is shocking to say the least because you never ever gets anxious when it came to Max Verstappen. You wouldn't have lasted this long working alongside Max if you were a pussy.
Max Max Max Super Max Max—
“[Name] here. Need anythin’, champ?”
Hearing a sob on the other end of the line immediately activates your fight or flight response. Your eyes widen and you toss the Red Bull shirt aside. Your legs leads you to the nearly empty shoe rack stationed beside the front door, grabbing the pair of shoes at the very top of the tiny shelf and throwing them on.
“I’m comin’ there. Hang on, Max. You wait for me, okay?”
He doesn't answer, just continuing to sob and the sound absolutely breaks your heart.
You run to his penthouse at a speed that will even put the RB19 to shame. Not even bothering to knock, you barge in and yell his name in the empty halls of his penthouse. You search in the kitchen. He's not there. The living room. Not there either. The room where his simulations are. Not there. You run to his bedroom upstairs.
The door is locked. Dammit. Panic overflooded your system.
“Max, sweetheart, you there?”
No answer, but you can hear a faint sound behind the door if you press your ear against the wood. Firefighter training covered how to open a fucking door when it was locked so this once again becomes a situation where you're grateful that you did that tiring and borderline suicidal volunteer work.
Max keeps a fire extinguisher inside his penthouse as per your advice. There is one stationed in almost every room inside his house. You knew there is one inside his room and another one just at the end of the hallway. You make a quick run for it and once you have the extinguisher in your hands, you run back to his door.
“Step away from the door!” you instructed while your mind mentally calculates your payment plan as you hit the door knob with so much force, the walls tremble at your strength. You're functioning on pure adrenaline. Your instincts only yell one thing and that is: go to Max. No one and nothing in this world will keep you from him. It isn't long until his bedroom door broke down. With one last final kick, it crumbles down from its hinges and you forcefully pry it open and sprint inside.
Max tucks himself in the tiny space in the corner of his huge bedroom, his knees shoved up to his chest. A 181-cm tall man trying to make himself as small as possible.
This is it. This is the bottled-up emotions he's been storing since Abu Dhabi. You cannot say you have not anticipated this. Max is bound to explode sooner or later.
Panic attacks have made a home in Max’s body since he was a child. That's what one gets when they’re parented by someone like Jos Verstappen. He killed Max’s soul and made the boy a machine and for what? To shape a child into a man, a racer that he wanted to be but failed to become at the cost of Max's mental health and childhood.
When Max looks up with that heartbreaking look on his face, you almost crumble. Almost, because you cannot crumble. Not when Max needs you.
Sometimes, you forget what it took for Max to become the champion that he is today. A childhood sacrificed for his dominance on the tracks. A whole lot of hatred from the people to become a WDC. And now, a love lost for his third consecutive championship.
“You came,” his voice cracks towards the end.
Your eyes soften, “You called, Max. Course I’ll come.”
You barely brace yourself for the impact that is Max’s body wrapping around yours in a tight hug. The man have literally launch himself from the floor to you at sixth gear speed. You stumble backwards slightly, holding his bed for support so the both of you won't fall down.
“Max—”
“No,” he whispers and his grip on your tightens as if he's afraid that you’ll slip away if he even tried to give your lungs space to breathe. “Don't speak. Stay.”
What Max wanted, what Max would get. So you shut your mouth, shuffle slightly so he'll be in a more comfortable position and allow him take whatever he wants from you. This will be the last chance he’ll ever do it anyway because in four days time, you’re flying to Texas.
You stay for what is probably hours in that position. Crumbled together on the floor, leaning against the side of Max’s king-sized bed. Your shirt is completely damp from his tears but you cannot even bring yourself to care about it.
“Your shoes…” It's the first time Max has spoken since the start of his meltdown.
“Hm?” you turn your head and your nose nuzzles against his hair, making you scrunch it up a little. His hair is tickling your nostrils. If you lean a little forward, your lips will meet the skin of his temple.
“They’re mismatched.”
Brows furrowed, your eyes move to your feet and see that Max is right. Your shoes are indeed mismatched. On your left is one of your Adidas slides and the other is your slip-on Skechers. You ran from one building to another in mismatched shoes. Fucking embarassing.
“Ignore them.”
Silence.
“You good now?”
“No.”
“Okay,” you say. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
You hear Max let out a shaky breath, “Just stay for a while. Don't leave me alone.”
“Okay.”
Eventually, you manage to talk Max out of the hug. You're beginning to feel claustrophobic but you do not want to say it out right so you try to negotiate instead. That's how you and Max found yourselves inside his kitchen again. You're trying to replicate your Abuela's cheesecake, which she was known for back in Austin, and Max is…well, he's Max and he’s trying to be helpful in any way he can. If it's some other day, you'd have shoved him out of the way because you prefer working alone in the kitchen. Having eyes on you gives you anxiety. But given today’s circumstances, you do not have the heart to make Max leave so you task him with doing the little stuff like mixing things and throwing shit to the trash can nearby. And he does so splendidly.
“Thank you, by the way.”
“For what, baby?” You internally wince at your own slip of the tongue. Damn that habit of yours of calling people with affectionate call signs. Thankfully, Max seems to have not noticed it.
“For coming here.”
You shrug.
“I only did what you did for me in 2021.”
Again, your breakup with Leo was bad bad. You spent a month crying for a love lost and Max was there for you. For the most part, at least. You want him to focus on winning and winning alone that you pushed him away a lot of times but you appreciated how he was more obedient to your commands, that he held his tongue so he wouldn't piss you off even though he was not liking your words, and that he was considerate of you.
“I hope you won't go into fights though,” you chuckle. “Like I did after my breakup.”
He smiles, shaking his head lightly and you know he's recalling the memory. 2021 is a hilarious year for you, the Red Bull manager. You went viral after getting into a cat fight with a girl and a whole fist fight with her boyfriend.
You and Leo called it quits a week before Monaco and even though it had been four races since then, your heart was still in a quite fragile state at that specific race weekend. One minor inconvenience was enough to ignite a wild blaze of fire within you and nobody could extinguish the flames.
After Silverstone FP1, you were leading Max to the cool down room to brief him with Horner’s relayed instructions and someone had thrown a glass bottle towards the both of you while walking. Originally, Max was the main target of the bottle but you happened to have moved towards the line of trajectory and the bottle landed on your temple, hard enough that you stumbled upon impact.
You barely heard Max’s shocked gasp and shout of panic over the sound of glass shattering on your foot because the only thing you could register was the terrifying feeling of a thick liquid trickling down the side of your face and you didn't even need to see it to know it was blood.
The only thing you saw was red and it was on fucking sight.
Fucking Hamilton fan. Fucking Hamilton. He’s in Max’s way. He’s in your way. He’s the wall that was dividing you from your dream position in the engineering team.
You shoved the iPad you were holding to Max’s hands and marched down to the woman wearing the Merc #44 merch, swiftly jumping over the barricade and grabbing her by the collar of her pristine white Versace top.
The events that followed were too fast. You grabbed her collar. She pulled your hair. You also pulled her hair. Someone pulled her away from you. You tried to grab her, clawing her bare arms with your manicured nails. She screamed. You screamed back. You pulled out some curse words in Spanish as well because cursing her in one language alone is not enough. Her boyfriend appeared. A quick punch to your cheek. You fell to the ground.
The world stood still. There was a sting on your palm because your skin got torn from the hard surface of the concrete ground. You let a bloodcurdling war cry and your Dad would definitely be disappointed at you for using the boxing techniques he taught you for self defense purposes only to fight a guy two times your size.
Everything was a bigger blur from there. But you did remember the sensation of Max’s strong arms around you, stopping you from lunging forward again. He was saying sweet words to your ear to calm you down but your brain failed to intercept them so you could hear the words, could hear his voice, but not understand any of it. You remember Christian Horner's disappointed face that haunted you even two years later. You remembered feeling so terrified as you sat outside Christian Horner’s office waiting for the final verdict while he and Max and a few of the Red Bull higher-ups argued about your future with the team. You remembered hearing Max’s loud snarl on the other side of the mahogany door: “Did you see her face?! There was blood everywhere! On her nose, on her mouth, on the fucking side of her head!” You remembered the girl taking the case to court. You remembered fearing that you’d be sent to jail. You remembered that she lost the case because it was ruled as self defense and your injuries were grave. You remembered discovering that it was Max who used all his power and got the best lawyer to fight your case. You remembered the atmosphere in the Red Bull garage shifting when you entered it a few weeks later and everyone stared the bandages and bruises. Everyone thought one thing: of course, it would also take a monster to manage a monster like Max Verstappen. You remembered Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion, apologizing personally for the fight caused by his own fan. He didn't need to but he was so sincere with it that you cried when he handed you the apology flowers. God, how could you even hate this man? Your anger towards him was misplaced.
You’d been living with the guilt ever since, that you were horrifyingly violent for a day, that you were capable of killing for a day. And it could happen again. One day. God, you hoped you wouldn't have to see that day. You knew all your coworkers have been careful with angering you ever since. They're terrified of you even. Max should be, too. But then again, why would he when he already saw the horrors done by his father’s hands ever since he was a child? He was used to it.
“I won't,” he says, smiling at you. “I wouldn't want to add anymore problems for you to clean up.”
But you will not be the one cleaning it up because you resigned. You didn’t tell that to him though. Not right now. He just had a meltdown over Kelly leaving him and the news of his manager leaving him too will destroy him.
The cheesecake is a little burnt when you take it out of the oven but it actually adds more flavor to it so yeah, that's a win.
“We should drink,” you suggest.
“It’s mid-afternoon.”
“We drank at mid-afternoon yesterday,” you give him a blank stare. “With Alex and Charles, remember?”
He doesn't say anything as you make your way to his fridge and pull out two bottles of beer. Max has champagne stored somewhere but you have enough of those expensive champagnes. You need beer. Beer is good. Beer is nice. You're a beer type of person and it is time Max becomes one, too.
“I’m no scientist,” you begin, biting off the beer’s bottle cap. “But according to chemistry, alcohol is solution.”
Well, technically, edible alcohol or ethanol is not a mixture. Rather, it's a pure substance that happens to be a liquid at room temperature and typical atmospheric pressure. Pure ethanol is not a solution. Hard spirits though? That's a solution.
Beer is not a hard spirit. It's more of a fermented drink. But Max doesn't know that, though, so you don't bother explaining the science behind it.
Somewhere down the road, the two of you move to his living room. You use the Youtube app in his TV to search karaoke video and have the bestest time of your lives. You're screaming along some Daddy Yankee and El Alfa songs and Max doesn't know how to speak Spanish so he’s just vibing to it.
At 5 PM, you pull out Max’s expensive vodka bottle. Now this is the real shit. The ten bottles of beer? Those are just pregame. Max is already drunk with just those because he’s a pussy but you’re no pussy, so the only right answer is vodka! Viva la vodka or whatever.
Your throat gets tired of singing and Max gets tired from dancing, too, so you both decide to just go entertain yourselves in other ways. First, you introduced Max to beer-pong. He loses, of course. He sucks at everything not racing. Then, the two of you move onto chess. Max gives up mid-game. He cannot understand the rules. Then, lastly, you move to the billiard table Max owned. He only used it when the other guys are over and you do not even know why he bought it when he sucked at playing billiards.
“You know what Kelly said the morning before the race?” Max suddenly says and you look up at him, brow raising slightly. He’s drunk; his skin is flushed and he is all giggly and smile-y as he sits on the billiard table’s side rail and using the billiard stick as some sort of support stand to keep him from falling. You hope he won't accidentally poke himself. You're no better, too. Ten beer bottles and a few glasses of vodka. But you’re not as drunk as Max, and you still have a straight vision and you can still sink the colored balls into the pockets of the billiard table.
“Hm?”
“That it was unfair for her.”
You raise a questioning brow, “Why?”
“I bought shoes and they don't fit her.”
You blink. He laughs at himself as if he has uttered the funniest joke in the world.
“Three years of relationship gone because of a single pair of shoes,” he continues. “She wanted those shoes, too.”
Kelly….what the fuck?
“But that's okay. She….She made me open my eyes, you know? She made me realize what I truly love.”
“Racing.” It's not even a question. It's the truth.
Max stares at you, long and hard, and you look away first because you fear that if you allow yourself to stare too long, you’ll drown in those beautiful blues. This is enough heartache for the day. No need to add more.
“Hey [Name],” he begins. “If I asked you to kiss me, would you do it?”
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miinatozakiii · 1 month
Text
watch me take my time 
park jihyo x fem!reader ; fluff, smut ; read tutor perks first! this is pt. 2
synopsis: surprising the woman you're dating with tea and pastries turns into a steamy evening, and a more sentimental morning after
warnings: mommy kink ; jihyo receving, reader giving ; jihyo in control for the most part ; smut! ; smut :3 ; and smut ; cursing ; fucking on the couch!!! ; face riding ; yeaahh anything else i didn’t mention ; not proofread, as always lol 
a/n: hey! i wasn't sure what to do for a part two, i never know. i didn't really expect tutor perks to get THAT much attention. anyway, I just went with whatever I felt like, i hope you guys like it. lmk what you think!
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the parking garage was quite mesmerizing, adorned with lush greenery and meticulously planned layouts. it was a stark contrast to the parking spot on campus that was a fifteen-minute walk from the main campus. compared to the $225 spot at your university, this was undeniably better.  
“is this the right place?” sarah, your roommate, asks. “because if it is... you coined a whole sugar mommy.” 
“oh shut up.” you say, blushing. sarah laughs at you, then gives you a little hug. 
“whatever, get out my car. i have to go see my girlfriend.” sarah says jokingly, to which you respond with a roll of your eyes.  
“yeah yeah, see you, love you, bye.” you mutter before getting out the car and shutting the door, watching sarah wave at you teasingly. 
walking towards the actual building — littered with plants and the beauty of the exterior catching you off guard — just the sight of it was enough to make you nervous. still, you manage to open the door and step in, feeling intimidated almost immediately just from seeing everyone inside the lobby. 
the corporate image time ten was right in front of you: men in suits tailored to perfection exuded an air of confidence as they made way through the bustling lobby, their attention divided between important phone calls and firm handshakes with other mirror images of themselves. meanwhile, women clad in sleek blazers formed clusters, their conversations punctuated by polite laughter and the occasional sip of coffee.  
it was safe to assume that you didn’t really fit in, you couldn’t help but feel like a fish out of water in the moment. so, while clutching a bag of pastries and a cup of iced tea from your shift at work, you made a conscious effort to blend into the background as you walked up to the lady behind the desk up front. thankfully, that wasn’t too hard given everyone had been occupied with their own things. 
the lady, a shorter looking woman with hair tied up professionally, looked at you unamusingly. she raised a brow as you looked at her, putting a finger up to pause you in place since she looked like she was preoccupied with a phone call.   
you balanced the small brown bag of pastries and iced tea in one hand, then moved over to fix the tote bag on your shoulder. the lady finished her call, then turned to you and spoke in a monotoned, uninterested tone. 
“hi, how can i help you?” 
“hi, um, is jihyo here? she’s still working, right?” 
“and who are you?” she asks, looking offended that you even asked that question.  
taken aback, you grow a little bashful and respond, “y/n l/n, i'm a...” you clear your throat, “friend of hers. she said if i wanted to stop by, now would be a good time.” 
“yeah, alright. you expect me to believe you that miss park said you could stop by?” 
“excuse me?” you say, immediately feeling belittled by her tone and look at you. “what do you mean by me? is there something wrong?” 
the lady lets out a noise thats a mix of a laugh and a scoff. she sighs, looking down at her desk and pointing down at a paper before responding.  
“miss park is a very busy woman, you know that, right? i have to make sure that this is an urgent thing, otherwise, you can see yourself out the door.” 
the condescending tone in the desk lady's voice grates on your nerves, sparking irritation within you. you resist the urge to roll your eyes, instead fixing her with a steely gaze as you suppress the retort bubbling up inside you. 
"i get that jihyo is busy, seriously," you reply evenly, your frustration simmering beneath the surface. "i'll call her right now if you need confirmation. i have her number and everything. she even texted me—" 
"she what?" the desk lady interrupts, her expression shifting from dismissive to incredulous. "you-- you have her personal number?" 
"of course i do, it's jihyo we're talking about," you respond matter-of-factly, feeling a twinge of satisfaction at the surprise evident in the woman's reaction. 
"i didn't think—wow," the desk lady stammers, clearly caught off guard. she clears her throat, attempting to regain her composure. "miss park doesn’t give anyone here her personal number. s-sorry, i'm a bit taken aback. i'll have someone escort you. i'm sorry for the inconvenience, miss—" 
"it's y/n," you interject, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the sudden shift in demeanor from the desk lady. it's almost amusing how quickly she seems to have changed her tune, now treating you with an unexpected level of deference.  
the desk lady nods and begins making arrangements for your escort, you can't help but feel a sense of validation at the realization of just how highly regarded jihyo must be. the fact that you have her personal number suddenly feels like some sort of badge of honor, you must be lucky to just know her or interact with her casually—especially in bed, that must be better than any trophy or award. maybe even better than a grammy or something. 
a tall, frail older man is by your side in the next minute. before you leave, the lady smiles at you – maybe a little forced given the unnatrual expression – then picks up the phone again, seemingly dialing a number. 
the man leads you to an elevator and presses the second to last button, indicating the 11th floor. as the elevator ascends, you stand beside him, taking note of his impeccable posture and the condition of his suit. not a single crease in the fabric, he had to be some kind of perfectionist.  
when the elevator doors slide open on the 11th floor, the man steps aside and gestures for you to exit first. his actions are formal, almost ceremonial, and you can't help but feel a sense of significance in the gesture. despite being just a girl who's clocked off work, you find yourself appreciating the unexpected treatment. you’re not against any of this treatment, however. 
once you step out of the elevator, the man gestures for you to follow him down the corridor. as you walk, you can't help but be captivated by your surroundings. the corridor is lined with large windows that offer expansive views of the city, bathing the space in natural light and providing a breathtaking backdrop as you continue through the building.  
the floor itself is decorated with tasteful elegance, oozing an air of professionalism and refinement. everything is thoroughly arranged, from the sleek furniture to the artful accents that adorn the walls. it's a space that balances functionality and cliche professionalism with an aesthetic appeal, creating an atmosphere that feels both welcoming and authoritative. if this is just one of the floors, you can’t even imagine how wonderful the rest of the building is. maybe jihyo will get to show it to you sometime. 
passing by the employees that type away or take calls, he leads you to a room that has large windows, displaying the blinds that block whatever – or whoever – is inside. a sign is plastered on it that says park jihyo, indicating that this is right where you wanted to be. 
he knocks on the door three times – somehow sophisticated and professional – then says in his deep voice,  
“miss park, i'm sorry to interrupt. you have a visitor.” 
silence takes over for a bit before the door is opened, revealing a tired looking jihyo in her blazer and slacks. she doesn’t see you at first, sending daggers at the man covering you before saying in a stern tone, 
"chang, you know i'm busy with emails—" jihyo begins, her voice trailing off as she catches sight of you standing in the doorway. immediately, her demeanor softens, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips. 
clearing her throat, she regains her composure and gestures for you to enter her office. "ah, y/n, come in," she says, her voice warm and welcoming. turning to the man, chang, she nods in appreciation. "chang, you're dismissed. thank you for escorting her." 
chang nods respectfully and takes his leave, leaving you alone with jihyo in her office. as the door closes behind him. jihyo wastes no time in closing the distance between you as soon as the coast is clear. 
her hand finds its way to the nape of your neck, pulling you close with a gentle yet firm touch. you feel a rush of warmth as her lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. her smile is evident even in the midst of the kiss, and you can't help but mirror her expression, returning the affection with the curve of your own lips. 
you pull away, lips inches apart. jihyo smiles at you sweetly. 
“what are you doing here?” 
“you said you would be relatively free, i just got off work. i got you something to eat, figured you’d be hungry and... i wanted to see you.” 
it's been almost three months since your first – very intimate – night with jihyo. the two of you continue to see each other, both intimately and regularly. dating jihyo has been pretty nice, though both of you have times where you don’t have time to see each other, so it’s nice to have moments like these. 
as the weeks turn into almost three months, your relationship with jihyo continues to evolve. jihyo asked you out on proper dates, rather than her eating you out, she wanted to eat something else and get to know you better.  
despite the demands of your respective schedules, the two of you make a concerted effort to see each other as often as possible. whether it's her inviting you over when her nephew isn’t around to evenings spent curled up together on the couch or having wine and a conversation. every moment shared with jihyo was precious 
dating jihyo has brought a sense of joy into your life, a feeling of being understood and cherished in a way that you've never experienced before, none of your high school relationships made you feel this way. and while there are times when conflicting schedules and obligations pulled you apart, those moments only serve to make the time you spend together even more precious. 
“you’re so sweet honey, come, sit.” jihyo says thankfully, guiding you to the large couch that gives you an even better view of the city. 
you sit next to her and place the goods on the table, then immediately. she rests her head against your shoulder. a smile plays across your lips, and slight worry seeps into your skin. jihyo must be tired, judging from how limp she is against you, so you grab her hands and hold them gently, rubbing her knuckles and letting her relax a bit. 
as you sit down next to jihyo and place the goods on the table, you can't help but notice the fatigue etched into her features. she leans her head against your shoulder, a smile plays across your lips as you feel her weight against you, but a slight twinge of worry creeps into your heart. jihyo must be exhausted, judging from how limp she is against you. without a word, you reach out and gently take her hands in yours, intertwining your fingers with hers. 
you begin to rub her knuckles soothingly, hoping to ease some of the tension that seems to have taken hold of her. her fingers are a little bonier, hands noticeably more mature given the slight age gap between the two of you. a ring is around the base of her middle finger, something expensive looking with a small apricot-colored gem in it. in the warmth of your touch seems to relax her, and you can feel the tension slowly melting away as she leans into your embrace.  
“you seem drained, was work exhausting?” you ask, turning to face her. 
“just some really incompetent men and everything has been getting on my nerves. lots of deadlines that need to be met and some of my employees have been slacking.” jihyo sighs, “things are getting better, though. i made some... arrangements that should have things back in order.” 
“i see.” you say, playing with her fingers. you press a kiss to the top of her head and reach for the iced tea, moving the straw to her mouth. “this should give you some energy, it’s the house tea, something peachy and sweet.” 
“aw, you’re too kind, doll.” she says, pouting her lower lip before taking a sip. she takes a few more sips before grabbing the drink from your hand and setting it down on the table, then pecks your lips. “you’re seriously a gift, darling.” 
almost three months and her little petnames still make your heart race, you don’t know if you’ll ever get used to them. 
“sweetheart, if it’s not too much, could you massage my upper back? there's a lot of tension, god, it’s killing me.” 
“of course.” 
jihyo turns away from you so that her back faces you, and you place your hands on her tense shoulders. squeezing lightly to get her accustomed, she immediately relaxes into your touch, sighing as you massage her. she moves her head down so you can reach more of the stiff areas, and once your thumbs add more pressure, she lets out a louder sigh, more of a groan that makes you giggle, and leaving some room for imagination to other ways that can make her sound like that. 
as jihyo turns away, her back facing you, you instinctively place your hands on her tense shoulders. with gentle pressure, you begin to massage her muscles, hoping to provide some relief from the tension that has accumulated there from whatever she’s been up to all day. 
at first, jihyo tenses slightly at your touch, but as you continue to knead her shoulders, she gradually relaxes into your hands. a soft sigh escapes her lips as she leans into your touch, allowing you better access to the stiff areas of her muscles. 
you adjust your position slightly, moving your hands to target the areas of greatest tension. with firm yet gentle pressure, you work your thumbs into the knots, eliciting a deeper sigh from jihyo's lips. the sound is more of a groan, and it sends a shiver down your spine, igniting a playful giggle. 
“good?” 
“ah- great.” she says through gritted teeth. she moves her hair over to once side, then asks, “can you get this side for me?” to which you respond with a hum. 
as you continue to massage her shoulders, you can't help but let your mind wander, imagining other ways to draw out this genre of sounds from her. but for now, you're content to focus on the task at hand, providing jihyo with the comfort and relaxation she so desperately needs. and as you feel her muscles begin to loosen beneath your touch, you can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that you're able to provide her with some relief.  
however, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your mind is completely free of other intimate scenarios. 
jihyo gets a little louder, failing to suppress the groans that slip past her lips. your hands slow down, instead, you start to slide your hands down her back and around her waist, gently placing them on the sides. leaning closer, you place a chaste kiss on the skin that isn’t covered by her hair, smirking into her. 
“what are you doing honey?” she asks softly, turning her head just barely to catch you in her peripheral.  
instead of responding verbally, you press longer, lingering kisses along jihyo's neck. with each gentle caress of your lips, she begins to relax further, her body responding to the intimacy of your affection. 
sensing her movement, you feel her hand come to rest lightly on your head, her fingers tangling softly in your hair. the sensation sends a shiver down your spine, a warmth spreads throughout your body as you continue to place kisses along her neck. 
slowly, almost imperceptibly, jihyo begins to turn toward you, her movements guided by the gentle coaxing of your lips against her skin. as she shifts, her hand remains on your head, the gentle pressure of her touch grounding you in the moment. with each kiss, you feel the tension melting away from jihyo's body. 
finally, when she’s turned towards you, you catch her lips with your own. jihyo hums into the kiss, her hand moving from your head to the base of your neck, then to your shoulder. 
you pull away briefly to mutter, “feeling better?” to which jihyo responds by pulling you in by the hem of your jacket, closing the distance again. 
as the kisses between you and jihyo grow soft and slow, a familiar heat begins to build between you. your tongues meet again, this wouldn’t be the first time for sure. 
feeling a surge of need coursing through you, you subtly shift your position, guiding jihyo down until she's reclining on the couch. with a smooth, fluid motion, you position yourself on top of her, your body pressing against hers, heat radiating off the two of you. 
in this moment, you find yourself taking control – in contrast to how it usually goes. as you deepen the kiss, your hands roam freely over jihyo's body, tracing the curves of her figure before sliding your hands under the edge of her shirt. she gasps at the feeling of your fingers on her skin, leaving you to kiss the corner of her mouth and trail down. 
with jihyo beneath you, her body yielding to your touch as you trail kisses down to her neck, you feel a sense of power and satisfaction wash over. you nip gently at her neck – careful not to make any noticeable marks – while she claws at your clothing. 
“baby-- darling, god,” she groans as you nip at the right spot with your teeth. she lets you indulge for a few minutes more, clearly enjoying it as much as you do before halting your actions as you slide your hands up closer to her chest under her shirt. 
you pause, pulling away and looking at her with confusion, “sorry, too much?” 
“never too much,” jihyo assures, placing a hand on your cheek while she catches her breath. “my employees are outside.” 
your eyes widen, then you get the message and mutter, “oh.” 
jihyo giggles at your response before lifting her head up to kiss you deeply again, pulling away with a noticeable sound made from your lips parting. “you’re adorable.” she says before grabbing your phone out your pocket and checking the time briefly. “my nephew isn’t home, so how about we get situated at my place? i should’ve left the office thirty minutes ago.” 
“anything you’d like.” 
with jihyo’s purse in your hand, you follow her into the house. the lights are off and it’s clear that no one’s home, leaving many possible opportunities for the two of you and even more scenarios to run through your head.  
“have you had dinner? and don’t say you’ve had those pastries, that’s not enough darling.” jihyo says lightheartedly, though stern enough to let you know she’s serious. she places her purse on the counter and takes off her blazer, which reveals the shirt hugging her figure neatly. she's looking through the purse now, back faced you and you can’t help but check her out briefly. “if not, i'll order takeout.” 
“that’s perfect.” you respond. jihyo turns towards you and grins, walking over and pecking your lips. 
“yeah, i'll grab us some wine. order anything you’d like, love.” 
“i’ve been craving bento bowls, is something japanese fine?” 
“anything is fine, i'm starving even after that scone.” jihyo giggles, “also, it’s almost six. i have a little work call to answer, but after that we have the rest of tonight and the weekend if you’re not occupied with classes.” 
“perfect, i'll just order for pick up then and then i'll be back in time for us to eat and whatnot. sound okay?”    “that’s lovely, then i'll have to find my favorite wine for us. the best for the best.” 
you giggle before pressing your lips against hers again, pulling away just barely before she closes the distance again. her arms rest on her shoulders as she pushes you closer, then she deepens the kiss. 
without thinking, you move yourselves over so that jihyo’s against the counter, your hands sliding under her shirt yet again and lips sliding down to the soft skin on her neck. she groans at the feeling, tilting her head back to give you more access to her as she tightens her hold on your shoulder. 
“later tonight,” you mutter in between kisses, rubbing circles on her skin under her shirt. “let me help you relax, yeah?” you nip at her skin lightly and she lets out a sharp breath, hand moving to the side of your neck. “let me do the work this time, you deserve to sit back for once.” 
“y/n--” jihyo begins, but is cut off by the sound of a phone ringing against the counter. she groans in frustration; this is the angriest you’ve seen her. her brows furrow and she tenses her jaw as she picks up the phone, then looks at you apologetically. 
“you should take that.” 
 jihyo sighs, then kisses your nose. “you should order dinner.” 
“mhm.” you mumble before kissing her jawline, removing your hands from under her shirt and jihyo whines just barely. her skin seems colder now that your hands aren’t on them, tracing patterns and rubbing up and down the landmarks.  
jihyo gave you the keys before you had left, so you didn’t have to ring the doorbell or anything – you assumed she’d still be on that work call. 
as you enter the room, you find jihyo standing against the counter, her posture tense and her expression drawn with frustration. she's wearing something different: a cropped t-shirt and comfy sweatpants instead of her work attire. with one hand, she pinches the bridge of her nose, while the other holds a phone to her ear. she listens intently, her brow furrowed in concentration, as she navigates the seemingly irritating conversation on the other end of the line. 
one arm crosses defensively while her gaze remains fixed on some distant point on the wood floor. to her left, on the smooth marble countertop, you notice two glasses and an unopened bottle of white wine.  
“yes, i already have my employees on it.” you hear her say, tone stern yet level. “look, according to the results and feedback we’re doing fine, so i don’t understand why this meeting is still in session. i know you want to be secure, but doubting me won’t secure what’s already set. everything is fine, so go talk to samuel if you really want to bicker with someone who can’t do their job. he's been slacking with his unit; i've seen the data. goodbye.” 
a small “ugh” is muttered under her breath before she places the phone down, then looks over to see you standing in the entrance of the hallway. a smile tugs at her lips immediately upon seeing you. 
“two teriyaki salmon bentos for the struggling college student and her beautiful, older, hardworking, hot older woman.” 
jihyo snickers, laughing at your stupid little titles. “calling me old?” 
“well maybe... i’m into that though, so stay old.” 
jihyo rolls her eyes at you, then watches you pull out the to go bowls out onto the table nearby. she walks over herself and brings the glasses and the wine bottle over. before she takes out the cork with her tool, she places a kiss on your cheek and mumbles against you a soft, “thank you.”  
you grin and kiss her back before going back to the kitchen to grab utensils, and then back to the table to sit down next to your lover. 
grabbing the boxes and handing jihyo a spoon, you ask, “how was your day? work seemed rough.” 
a sigh leaves her lips, her aura radiating exhaustion and irriation, yet she stays calm and content before your eyes.   
“just a lot of deadlines and dreadful people to deal with today, but it’s over and you made me feel better.” 
“i’m glad.” you say, putting a hand on her thigh. “let’s eat, maybe you’ll be less exhausted.” to which jihyo responds with a nod and a kiss to your knuckles.  
the sliding door in front of you two gave a great view of the setting sun, which made dinner quite romantic. jihyo shared more about her day, though it was mostly complaints mixed with frustrated grunts and groans when bringing up the men she had to face. you on the other hand, shared some small anecdotes from your shift and your roommate's own drama to jihyo, which she enjoyed listening to. before you knew it, dinner was finished – bowls clean and all, barely any remnants of the food left – which urged you two to throw away the plastic containers and head to the couch to sit and sip on wine. 
jihyo sat beside you and swirled her wine around before sniffing, then took a small sip. you did the same, eyes lighting up from how good it was, which made jihyo laugh. and then the two of you went on to talk about more small things, ranging from what annoyed each of you during the day and things you both looked forward to.  
the next thing you knew, your head was against jihyo’s shoulder, and your now empty glass was set on the table with hers.  
“at least the day is over, hyo.” 
she snickers upon hearing the name, then turns to you with a smile.  
“hyo?” 
“sorry, don’t like that name?” 
“no, i love it. it's cute.” she assures, “adorable.” 
“yeah?” you say, grinning. shifting yourself up to sit up right, you brush a strand of hair behind jihyo’s ear. “any plans tomorrow?” you ask, staring at her lips blatantly. 
“no, what are you up to darling?” 
you giggle and run your hand down to her jaw, placing your thumb on her lip and applying subtle pressure. 
“let me help you relax tonight.” you simply answer, smirking devilishly. “seems like you need it.” 
in no time, your lips make their way over to hers, you kiss her slowly and savor her. she places her hand on your shoulder, gripping slightly as you deepen the kiss.  
your hands find their way under jihyo’s shirt again in no time, though at first, your fingers simply brush against her skin before doing anything big. you're taking your time exploring her, finding out which area on her rib makes her kiss sloppier or her breath shorter. you feel her responding to your touch, her movements becoming more urgent, more fervent. 
jihyo's hands roam over your body in tandem with your own explorations, one hand in your hair and the other on the base of your wrist. you're both consumed by the heat of the moment, kisses with more tongue, breaths heavier, and jihyo’s groans getting louder. it's perfect. 
you create a gap between the two of you after pulling away, your own breath heavy. jihyo looks at you: red, puffy lips and peach colored cheeks from the intimacy.  
looking down at the edge of jihyo’s shirt, you silently ask to take it off by playing with the edge of the fabric. 
“take it off.” she says lowly, almost an order. 
nodding, you slip the shirt off, gazing at her clad chest. 
you've seen her naked before – more than you can count on one hand – yet, she still manages to leave you in awe.  
“fuck, you’re beautiful.” you sigh, immediately making your way over to her neck. “i could have you like this all day.” you groan against her skin, right before sucking near her pulse point so harshly to the point where she moans your name out, subconsciously gripping your hair and tugging so roughly it hurts your scalp.  
blindly, you start to unclasp her bra, discarding it somewhere in the room – you could care less where it landed – and tending to the new area exposed. 
a brush of your finger on her nipple already has it perked up, making her groan loudly. saying it’s music to your ears would be an understatement, it’s better than any symphony. 
“y/n, baby,” jihyo moans, feeling a wetness pooling down in between her legs. “ah-”   
your mouth lands on her chest, then down to her tits. you press a chaste kiss to her tits, making her look down at you with furrowed brows and parted lips. with full eye contact, you travel to the swell of her breast, finding your way to her nipple and swirling your tongue around. the way you suck on her sensitivity is enough to make her groan right in front of your face. the way her mouth gapes and oh, how lovely she sounds; you could get used to this for sure.  
and later you pay attention to her other breast, treating it with the same care and evoking more lewd sounds from the older woman. the way she folds under your touch, twitching and slowly losing herself while she’s weak to you; jihyo could use more rest days, especially ones that have hours dedicated to you indulging in her. 
moments later, after earning at least a song’s duration of jihyo’s indescribable pleasure seeping from her lips, you decide to look at the mess you’ve made.  
marks of pink ranging to a darker red – even a near purple – are littered all over her skin, from her neck to all over her chest area. you bite your lip at the sight, rubbing your finger along a few of the hickeys. 
“y/n, baby,” jihyo starts, looking at you intensely. “shirt off, down on the couch now. don't make me ask twice.” she orders breathlessly, narrowing her eyes and expecting immediate obedience – which she receives without question. 
despite how much you’ve riled up and left her, she still has that natural authority. there's absolutely no way you could disobey her, at the end of the day, no matter what you’ve done to her; you belong to jihyo now, no doubt. 
“yes ma’am.”   
as you slip the shirt off in one motion, jihyo uses that short duration of time to slip off her comfortable pants, discarding them and slipping her panties off. she watches you – who's watching her in return – you're propped up by your elbows as you watch her sit on your lap, feeling your pussy throb just from the feeling of her bare cunt on the denim covering your heat. 
“good girl, always. you know how to listen to me, glad you know your place.” 
“of course.” you say, looking at her with desperate eyes. 
“you know how i've told you about today, yeah? it was so difficult, so many incompetent people. you’re going to listen to me, okay? you're gonna let mommy use you just like the good girl you are, got it?” 
taken aback by the new title, you hesitate to respond, too entranced by the sight in front of you: jihyo completely naked, on your nap, with her hands resting on your abdomen to hold herself up. when she doesn’t get a response from you, she grinds harshly against your lap, earning a pathetic whine from you. 
she presses her hand down on your abdomen harder, earning a sharp breath from your lips. 
“you answer me when i talk to you, i won’t say this again.” 
“y-yes, sorry.” 
she leans closer, her face above yours and gaze sharp. “yes who?” 
with no hesitation, you correct yourself. “yes mommy, i'm sorry, i'll be a good girl from now on.” 
jihyo smiles, pleased to say the least. 
“down on the couch then honey, on your back.” she says gently, though there’s still that stern tone.  
you gulp, then nod. jihyo smiles as you set your head down, putting your arms off to the side so your hands can gently caress her thighs. she gets up on her knees, repositioning herself so that her cunt is hovering above your chin, then stroking your cheek lightly. you look at her with puppy eyes, silently begging for her to let you get a taste; she gets the message almost immediately, then sets her cunt right above your mouth. 
your hands reach for the sides of her waist, moving her down just an inch so you can get a taste of her arousal.  
she groans again, throwing her head back before looking back at you with creased brows: your cheeks are red, your eyes are closed, and you’re humming against her while you eat her out ravenously. the last time you had eaten someone out had been a while ago, and jihyo’s been the one fucking you to oblivion since the first night with her. you're following her body, sliding your tongue up her folds and sucking on her clit once you reach. she gasps and grips your hair the way you like it, rough and demanding. her nails dig into your scalp, and you let out a little moan yourself, turned on just as much as you are when she’s doing everything to you. 
attentive to the sounds she’s making, you keep doing what earns the more pleasing reactions. she's griding against the flat of your tongue, forcibly pushing your mouth into her wetness the more you indulge. she's moaning louder, her deep, mature voice growing breathy and higher pitched the more you please her.  
and then she shifts your lips over to the left side of her clit, so you suck and lick and groan until the living room is filled with the sound of squelches of her pussy and your mouth coming into contact mixed with moans that fade into nothing as they’re caught in throats. jihyo's cursing more and more, holding you in one spot with that one hand gripping onto your hair like there’s no tomorrow whilst she grinds herself on your tongue and completely uses you. 
“y/n, y/n darling, honey, fuck, ah-!” she cries out, shaking until she isn’t, propping herself up with one hand on your hip bone and the other loosening her grip on your now disheveled hair. she grinds slowly now, still stimulating the aching between her legs whilst you clean up all her climax with your tongue.  
slowly, you take your time licking up her folds, savoring her. a press to her clit later and you're pressing more on her inner thigh until she shifts herself off your face and back to your lap.  
she runs a hand through her hair – some strands sticking to her forehead.  
you catch your breath, then sit up a little bit, jihyo still in your lap.  
“feeling better?” you ask, your hand settling on her explosed ribcage before moving up to cup the bottom of her tit.  
“much better.” she grins, fixing the hair she’s ruined. strands fall over your face, she runs a few fingers through to fix it up again.  
laughing, you lean closer to press a kiss to her lips, smirking once you part away. 
“y/n,” jihyo begins, twirling a piece of hair with her fingers. “you’ll be a good girl, right?” 
you nod. 
“good, because the night isn’t over.” she says menacingly, looking at you with darkened pupils. “on the ground, on your knees. you're gonna eat mommy out until she’s satisfied, got it?” 
“yes ma’am, yes mommy.” you say, immediately switching positions.  
jihyo watches you move over to the ground, the visible patch of arousal apparent on your denim as you kneel. she traces down the grooves of your torso, indulging in the sight before sitting back and spreading her legs.  
seeing her like this, you lick your lips. you're like an obedient puppy, eager to receive her approval and eager to serve her in any way she sees fit. 
jihyo raises her brows at the sight and smiles devilishly at how pathetic you look. she gives you the green light after relishing your submission.  
“eat.” 
just like every other morning, you’re stuck in jihyo’s bed half naked. some sports bra covers the upper half of your body, and boy shorts hug the skin just below your waist. the older woman’s hands are wrapped around your waist, one hand sitting on the exposed hip bone that pops out, and she’s warm against you, her chest rising and falling against your back. 
shifting subtly in your place, you turn over to face her.  
her face is bare, no makeup on and it’s just jihyo before you. she's rubbing her hands on the exposed skin on your hip, mumbling something groggily under her breath. it's been a while since you’ve seen her like this – it's been a bit since you’ve been alone with her, really alone, just the two of you and no one else or worry of interruption. 
“mm, honey,” jihyo mumbles, and you can’t tell if she’s awake or asleep while saying this. “closer.” 
“okay.” 
you find your nose in the crook of her neck, smelling faint hints of lavender while you press closing. she rubs your shoulder with her thumb, tracing patterns and shapes you can’t really put a name on. the sun hits her eyes, you hear a little groan, and then a little yawn that gives you the hint that she’s fully awake. 
a hand finds itself tangled in your hair, then massages your scalp. “did you sleep alright?” jihyo asks, voice gentle and caring as she holds you. 
“i slept great, you?” 
“wonderfully.”  
a kiss is pressed to your forehead and fingers play with the rim of your boy shorts. a soft smile plays across your face, you close your eyes and breathe out. 
“sweetheart.” jihyo hums, tapping your shoulder.  
“hm?” 
“i realized i've never really, fully expressed how thankful i am for you.”  
upon hearing jihyo’s sentimental words, you pull away from where your face had been nestled, face to face with jihyo now. 
“what?” 
“i haven’t been that, well--” jihyo’s face flushes – to oyur surprise – she looks down at your clad chest, then back at your eyes. “relaxed. you helped me unwind, thank you.” 
you can’t help but giggle, finidng all of this so cute. jihyo had been ordering you around last night, moaning so loud the neighbors probably heard. you can still feel a little ache in your scalp from how roughly she was pulling at your hair; everything about the night before was so lewd. it's funny how vulnerable and cute jihyo’s being right now, letting her heart do the talking. 
“you’re adorable, hyo.” you sigh, looking at her with admiration. “i’m glad i was there to help, and i'm looking forward to helping out whenever you want.” 
“y/n.” jihyo begins, placing her hand on your cheek and looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. “will you be my girlfriend?” 
giggling again upon hearing the seriousness in her voice and the adorable look on her face, you nod. 
“of course.” 
at the end of the weekend – a beautiful sunday evening, the sky painted hues of pink and purple – you’re in your desginated spot: the passenger’s side of jihyo’s car. 
both of you sit in silence as jihyo exits the freeway, some pop song playing on the radio. her hand is intertwined with yours, elbows sitting on the little compartment that seperates the two seats. she's humming along and it’s music to your ears, you’re smiling ear to ear as you watch her. 
sunglasses sit on the crown of her head, her side profile staying in its place while the scenery behind her flashes by as the car moves forward. she's beautiful. 
once you reach your apartment complex, jihyo parks somewhere close.  
“don’t move, just stay there.” you warn her, sounding all serious and looking at her with raised brows. 
“darling, what?” she asks, a little smile tugging at the corner of her lips. she giggles once you leave the car hurriedly, rushing towards the other side to open her door. 
“miss park.” you say, putting your hand out. jihyo laughs, amused at your little gesture. she takes your hand and steps out, rolling her eyes at you. 
“you’re unbelieveable.” 
“well, after seeing how scared everyone was at your work place the other day, i feel like i should treat you better.” 
“you’re my girlfriend, not my employee y/n.” jihyo scoffs, then kisses the back of your hand.  
once you make it to your apartment, you knock on the door, waiting for the familiar face to open the door for you.  
sarah opens the door a few seconds later, eyes widnening upon seeing you and jihyo right in front of her – hands holding and all.  
“oh my god you really did manage to get with her.” sarah says in disbelief, making you roll oyur eyes and the little comment making jihyo snicker. “you’re jihyo? wow, oh my god, you look so young – i mean, you are, like--” 
“i get what you mean, thank you.” jihyo responds lightheartedly, smiling at the woman in front of her.  
the two of you step in and sarah is still examining jihyo, baffled by how unreal she looks – and wow, your descriptions and rambles about this woman did not prepare her for this meeting. jihyo sets herself down on the couch and sarah pulls you to the side quickly before the two of you join her. 
“oh my god when you said older woman i didn’t expect godly cheekbones, jawline sharper than a knife, and fucking luxury to show up holding your hand.” 
“she’s amazing.” 
“ugh, you’re drooling.” sarah sighs. 
you smile at your roommate like a proud little kid, pushing her lightly before joining your now girlfriend on the couch.
maybe majoring in education was worth it, you think to yourself as you watch sarah grin at the two of you from across where you’re sitting. despite your dreadful research papers, essays, and mock lectures – all of it was worth it if it meant meeting jihyo.  
sarah puts a leg over the other, leaning back against the smaller seat in your living room. 
“you know, y/n has been gushing over you since like, the first time she tutored your nephew. she's kept me up at night just talking about--” 
“sarah!” 
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jellieland · 29 days
Text
(Spoilers for. Real life?? I guess???)
---
Five figures stand, solemn, at the celestial summit of nowhere. They discuss matters of great import, and observe the fragile gossamer thread that is all that surrounds them, and-
Oh. No, nope, nevermind. They're just arguing again, aren't they.
"-don't know what you expect ME to do about it!" snaps the Red One.
"I don't know, Grian, how about literally anything?" asks the Scarlet Moon, raising an eyebrow.
"I mean, you could at least tell us what's going on out there," says the Ruby Star. "I don't think that's too much to ask, Grian."
"Riiight, like that'll help," says the Bloody Victor, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, for goodness sake, Martyn, do you have to make this difficult every single time?" snaps the Red One. "Anyway, we've got loads of time to work this out. It's only just started, even if it was a bit earlier than I thought it would be," he grumbles, irritated.
"Oh! Look!" calls the Coquelicot Loner, from where he is peering away from their circle at something that would look, to anyone but the five present, entirely indistinguishable from any other patch of the universe. "They must be done! Someone's coming!"
"What?" The Red One frowns. "Don't be ridiculous, Scar, there's no way-"
A brilliant beam of starlight shoots down from the heavens, and tears through their little circle like a formula one car cutting through the middle of a picnic.
It leaves behind...
Huh.
What. What is that.
There is... a. Person? But the proportions are all wrong, nothing this world has ever seen before. The limbs are mismatched, twisted, not quite connected. The movement is... disturbingly smooth, except when it jerks and jumps at seemingly random moments.
Whatever they are, they regain their balance, look around, and... laugh. "Oh, hey guys!" they say. "You know, I really didn't think this counted. But here we are, I guess!"
"Mom?" says the Coquelicot Loner, squinting at her. "Why are you short?"
"Oh my god, Scar, you can't just ask people why they're short," says the Ruby Star, apparently on autopilot.
"Yeah, and, uh, not to be rude, but more like why are you an eldrich horror? But, like, more so than usual?" says the Bloody Victor, backing up and looking rather alarmed.
They raise an eyebrow. "Oh, we're doing this now, are we?" They shake their head. "You know what this is perfectly well. We did another game, and I won. Deeply surprising, I know, but here we are!"
The Scarlet Moon tilts her head. "I mean, not that it's not nice to have you here, I guess, but that seemed real quick for a whole game, Cleo."
"Yes, thank you Pearl," says the Red One, narrowing his eyes. "I quite agree. Just how violent WAS this one that it's already finished? And WHY was I not informed?"
Cleo laughs. "To be honest I don't think anyone expected it to matter. And, I mean, sure it was violent, they always are, but it was all pretty light-hearted to be honest! Not a lot of drama, you know." She looks around, and seems to remember something. "Oh, Scott, I let a zombie kill you at the end! Sorry about that, I didn't realise quite how low you were. It was pretty funny, though."
The Ruby Star blinks, and shrugs. "I mean, fair enough. Hey, that means Divorce Quartet is all here, now!"
The Coquelicot Loner squints. "...Does that make you my stepdad, Scott?"
"No," says Cleo.
"God no," says the Ruby Star. "For, just, so many reasons."
"Yeah, I am not doing that again," says Cleo.
"So... So, hang on," says the Red One. "You're saying, in your game, it was all just. Cool and fine and calm. No pain or blood or sacrifice. No agonising entangled web of alliances. No cold-blooded, cold-hearted backstabbing?"
("Hey!" says the Bloody Victor.)
"I mean there was plenty of blood, technically. And Martyn did sort of try to stab everyone in the back and then run away."
("...Yeah, ok, fine," says the Bloody Victor.)
"But no, not much emotional turmoil, all in all! It was pretty chill, really!" They glance around the circle. "It was nice to see Ren again, too! I think he was off roleplaying with Martyn most of the time, though."
"I'm going to kill you," says the Bloody Victor, despairingly. "How is that fair?!"
"Life isn't fair," says the Scarlet Moon.
"Oh, you-"
"Can you shut up for five minutes," snaps the Red One.
As the bickering continues, the Coquelicot Loner and Ruby Star sidle up to Cleo, avoiding her wavering, eldritch outline.
"So!" says the Coquelicot Loner. "How's dad?"
Cleo gives him a look. "Scar," they say.
He holds up his hands. "Ok, ok! Just asking!"
She shakes her head, not without affection. "Is this really all you do here? Just stand around and irritate each other?"
"No!" says the Coquelicot Loner, seemingly deeply offended.
"Yeah, pretty much," says the Ruby Star.
"Ok well that's stupid," says Cleo.
"Yes," says the Red One, having extricated himself from the continuing altercation between the other two. "This is extremely stupid." He claps his hands, drawing everyone's attention and finally ending the argument, for now. "All in favour of erasing the past few minutes from existence and pretending none this ever happened?"
"Aye," says everyone but Cleo.
"What," says Cleo.
"It means you get to go home and you don't have to stands around in a circle with us lot for the rest of eternity," says the Scarlet Moon.
"Oh. Yeah, definitely do that," says Cleo.
"Wonderful," says the Red One, and clicks his fingers.
...
Five figures stand, solemn, at the celestial summit of nowhere. They discuss matters of great import, and observe the fragile gossamer thread that is all that surrounds them, and-
The Coquelicot Loner speaks. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it! Do you-"
"I thought we just agreed that didn't happen, Scar," snaps the Red One.
Oh, ok. Alright, they're arguing again.
Yeah, we probably don't have to stick around and listen to this any longer, either. I don't expect it's going to change anytime soon.
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punchliiine · 4 months
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how to have a better reality shifting experience
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hi! i'm bad with introductions so here's a quick guide on how to elevate your reality shifting experience if you feel like yours is boring or you don't really know what to do once you successfully shift + tips, examples, and disclaimers if needed.
I - scripting
should i really explain this one? script that you have everything you want. script unusual quests. unheard of music, new colors to see for the first time. no matter how crazy or otherworldy it seems. it's your reality, your rules (as long as you're not doing anything immoral)
- a warning disguised as a disclaimer:
if you intend on scripting crazy scenarios and 'unimaginable' stories, please remember that they're real, and that they will feel real, because they ARE real. i feel like that's something that always slips away from shifters' minds.
and sure, you may script that these situations won't affect you as much or that having your cc/s by your side will make it better (which is true) but don't hurt yourself or others in the process of it all. be smart about every decision you make. and remember there is consequences. (i'm aware that infinite realities exist, and there are realities where there are no consequences. still, choosing that path is not excusable and is morally wrong IF you intend on doing awful things)
II - do not limit yourself
do you want to be the main character in your favorite show? do you want to create a silly world for your oc/s and live amongst them? do you want to be in your favorite games? do want to be unfathomably overpowered in your dr? do you want to have the knowledge and wisdom of a 10000+ year old being?
whatever you can possibly imagine // want, give it a go! (again, as long as you're not doing anything immoral)
do not limit yourself to your cr's laws of physics or how life generally is in your cr "like the amount of money you get per hour working at a certain cafe in singapore" and stuff like that.
there are no limits but the ones YOU set yourself!
III - set goals
setting yourself goals can motivate you to shift when you feel like you're at the lowest of lows, even when you feel like reality shifting isn't real (it is)
what do you wish to achieve by this shift? is it fun? is it to learn a dead language or is it to learn how to swing a katana? is it to reminisce about your past? is it to gain balance? is it simply just to say 'oh yeah i've experienced this'?
what do you wish to achieve by your shifting experience as a whole? healing your trauma? having a family and finding a place you can call home? or maybe finding someone that'll lasso the moon, stars and every celestial being for you?
by setting goals and achieving them, no matter how big or small, you will gradually build confidence and find purpose, which i find to be one of the most important things anyone, and in this case shifters, can strive for.
no like really imagine finiding your purpose alongside your cc/s, isn't that just the dream-come-true type of life? :')
IV - be open
be willing to try things outside of your script. some shifters seem to have an obsession with control that it sometimes feels unnatural (i'm talking about ones that make you feel like there's no way anything can go SLIGHTLY different), which is not wrong! i do it sometimes too, but doing that to every part of your script and in every dr feels exhausting and robotic almost (it's not though, because infinite realities exist, but you get what i'm trying to say)
be open to try to shift without a script, IK it is scary but try it out at least once in your journey. it'll shock you with how fun and crazy it is, you might even learn about things you'd never dreamed of knowing.
- disclaimer more like warning:
AS FOR SAFETY, please always script yourself safety measures no matter where you're going, idc if your dr is sunshine, rainbows, and happiness infuesd air. always script safety.
- tip:
you can always have a theme for your dr "to enhance the journey and better your chances of going somewhere fun". just have the key elements for the story.
- for ex.
"in a cyberpunk city in the year 3766, just beyond its borders lies a city abandoned due to radioactive fallout from a forgotten war. its secrets remain unknown, hidden within the silent remnants of a bygone era."
this way, you only know what the story is about, but you don't know how it ends, who will accompany you, what will happen.. etc.
- another tip:
for extra fun, you can script in characters that you already know from other dr/s, like the blue blazes from bubble!
V - reflect
taking your time to reflect is important because it allows you to understand what happened, how you felt, what you learned, where you slipped up.. etc. therefore grow and make better decisions. it's like looking in a mirror for your mind, helping you see yourself more clearly and make positive changes.
you may reflect by asking yourself questions like; what did you learn from your recent shift? how do you intend to improve? what were your weak points, and how can you strengthen them? was it something external or internal? and whatever other questions you resonate with.
- for ex.
let's say you shifted to BNHA/MHA, and you were assigned to have a training session with one of your classmates, tokoyami, for instance. and he happened to dominate that fight and ultimately win it (despite what you may have scripted)
now, ask yourself; what are some things you wanted // needed to improve on during the fight?
as for when to reflect, you may do it in so many different ways and to give you a few examples, you may instantly reflect which'll happen in your dr, either right after you finish the fight or during the fight if possible. or you may go to a wr where you watch an analysis of the fight by one of the heros or just a general analysis. or you may go back to your cr and try to remember what happened and note it down.. etc.
these are just a few i've tried and they've all worked wonderfully, (especially the second one)
- disclaimer:
as for the last one, i don't recommend it as much as the others, and it's coming from experience. i remember my memory betrayed me one time when i was analyzing a villain's quirk and i ended up with an injury due to it. yes, the injury was small and i ended up recovering in 3 days but it could've been avoided yk?
now, i must say that i realize we will have our own unique experiences, and my memory may not match yours. and i acknowledge there were things i could have done differently, but you live and you learn! ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ
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minhosimthings · 4 months
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Heaven
Symphony Smut Series Day 7: Julia Michaels' Heaven
Lyric: They say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you
Pairings: Badboy!Jeongin × goodgirl!fem!reader
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, loss of virginity, virgin!reader, sub!reader, dom!Jeongin, p in v sex, degradation, praise, hair pulling, overstimulation, corruption kink, Jeongin calls reader 'darling' and good girl, reader wears skirt, mentions of masturbation, implied abused reader, fluffy at the end, sorta enemies to lovers, college au
A/N: I mean I couldn't not include this iconic song in this series so did it for day 7 with our Innie because I don't know corruption kink just hits different with him.
THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST
People pleasing. Wasn't it so fun? To have a person complement you for something that you was poison to yourself.
But people pleasing always got out of hand one way or the other and now, here you were, crying to your worst enemy about how much you felt like not existing anymore.
Jeongin was completely antagonistic to you. It was much like the bad boy, good nerd trope, except this time, you liked the bad boy first and he basically hated you. Romantic right?
"So wait, what you're telling me is you willingly let yourself be used by other people and you get nothing out of it?" Jeongin questioned, looking you up and down, his eyes filled with what seemed to be pity. It was as if you were a wounded dog, who still trusted so foolishly.
"I know." You tried to fight back. Having him as a chemistry partner suddenly seemed okay. Now, his aura was one of comfort as he ran a hand down your back in circles, comforting you as the tears you've held onto for so long started falling down.
"Hey hey hey." Jeongin panicked, seeing you cry. It had been the first time he'd seen you do that. In everyone's eyes you were little Miss Perfect, unbreakable and able to endure a lot of pressure. But diamonds crack someday don't they? And when they are subjected to enough heat, or in your case, enough comfort, they crack with a lot of force.
"I'm here, I'm here don't worry." Jeongin pressed you to his chest, engulfing you in warmth. The hug felt genuine, something you hadn't known for a long time.
"I-Just can't Jeongin, I just don't want to do it anymore." You gasped, tired from all the crying.
"Calm down darling, we still got all these dumb carbon atoms to balance!" Jeongin tries to cheer you up, successfully earning a giggle from you.
"There we go." Jeongin pulled you back to wipe your tears, "Now shall we work on this project, or should we work on how to set your boundaries?"
"But how do I do that?" You asked, listening intently to him, "How the fuck do I give up this stupid habit of mine which people have been praising me for so long?"
"Let's practice then!" Jeongin said in a cherry voice, immediately shutting his book close, "Let's say.... I'm someone who wants you to help me out with my homework, but in reality, you're gonna do all my homework. What do you say?"
"Yes..?" "No Y/N." Jeongin sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead, "You say no, cause you're not gonna help some dickhead complete his work when he's the one who needs to do it."
"Alright another scenario, what if... Your best friend wants you to come to a party with her just so you can play her wing woman, what do you say?"
"No, cause she needs to get her pussy inside some dick?" Your uncertain answer made Jeongin's face light up.
"Yeah good job! You're getting the point!"
After some more scenarios, in which much laughter was involved and your chemistry book lay depressed by the side, you got to know a lot more about Jeongin. Beneath all that dark leather jacket aesthetic, he really was an adorable little fox who apparently really liked fashion.
"Alright alright last scenario." Jeongin laughed after you told him the story of your childhood cat, Potato, "And this is important for you, as a woman."
"As a woman? Alright then." You said, still laughing.
"If a man ever asked to fuck you for his own pleasure, would you let him?"
"I mean unless it's you, no."
The silence that filled the room was unnerving, deadly almost. Jeongin stared at you, and you stared back.
"You want to do what to me now?" Jeongin smirked, adjusting his posture, which made him look slightly bigger.
"I-I didn't mean-"
"What didn't you mean, darling?"
His voice never failed to make you wet. And yet you didn't have your vibrator with you right now.
"I mean it's not like I want to fuck you, I mean I do! But I-"
"You're so adorable." Jeongin chuckled, leaning back against the bedframe, spreading his legs a bit further. You could clearly see his erection pulsing through the fabric of his pants, "Does my good girl need dick in her pants?"
Good girl.
One simple nickname and you wanted to be devoured by him, carnally, brutally as he could.
"Fuck me then." You stated, not breaking eye contact with his beautiful eyes, "Fuck me and show me how it feels to break the rules for one time."
"If you say so." Jeongin chuckled, placing his hands on your hips and leaning in close. Your noses almost touched and you could feel his fingers tightening around the fabric of your skirt.
He stared at you hungrily and took in your figure which was clothed in a normal shirt and your skirt, his eyes flicked down to your chest.
Jeongin passionately pulled you in for an open-mouthed kiss, you were taken by surprise and put your hands against his chest, to pull back slightly, but Jeongin held you possessively and deepened the kiss to taste your tongue with his tongue.
He broke the kiss with a chuckle and playfully pushed you back onto your pillow, he peppered your neck with kisses and warm sucks.
"Ah fuck Jeongin." You whimpered, feeling his bulge press against your pussy. He hadn't even done anything and yet the simple gestures turned you on like a sinner in church.
"Already darling?" Jeongin chuckles again, feeling positively elated at how innocent you were, "It's alright we'll take it slow."
Jeongin rests his hands on your hips more tighter and lays you on the bed, taking in your sweet perfume. "Your roomate isn't home is she?" Jeongin asked, wigh uncertainty, his fingers toying with the waistband of your skirt. You simply nodded no, too distracted by the impact his fingers had on your waist.
"Good." Jeongin ripped off your skirt with one tug of his skirt, making you gasp loudly, "Then this'll be easier."
He cups your tits and let’s out a deep groan. You move to grab at his shirt and pause, nodding a question at him. He nods back at you and his godly chest is revealed. You then move to grab at his belt buckle and after that your clothes get removed pretty quickly.
He leaned down, kissing along your chest and the swells of your breasts. His teeth nipped at your skin, biting down hard enough to leave hickeys behind.
Jeongin chuckled at your reaction. He lightly rolled your nipple in between his metal thumb and index finger. You gasped loudly when his fingers pinched your nipple, sending a new sensation through your body. Both of his hands went down to your sleep shorts and pulled them down your legs, exposing your wet lacy panties to him. His fingers on his right hand rubbed your clit through your panties causing you to buck your hips against his hand, only for you to receive a smack on your inner thigh.
You squealed in surprise when he pinned you to the bed. He spread your legs, getting in between them. He rubbed his cock through your wetness before lining his tip up with your entrance. His tip alone stretched your pussy. He sinks his cock inside of you inch by inch. Your jaw dropped.
"Ah-ah big." You moaned, feeling him sink into you. You had never felt pleasure like this before. And you sure as hell loved it.
"Is that okay, darling?" Jeongin asked, raising a brow at you. He didn't want to hurt you or do anything that was out of his boundaries. But oh, did he love this.
“So fucking tight.” Jeongin groans, tilting his head back. Fuck, if only he had had this pussy before.
He whines and buries his head in your neck, alternating motions on your very stimulated clit, acting like he’s the one about to completely fall apart.
Once he was deep inside of you, he gave you a moment to adjust. You nodded your head, giving him permission to start thrusting. He starts thrusting pretty slowly, probably wanting to make sure you’re getting used to it, but his hand in your hair shows you that things aren’t going to be so tame for long. He pulled his cock almost all the way out, only leaving his tip inside of you and then thrusted back inside of you all at once.
“Oh fuck!” You moaned, trying your best not to be loud.
“Such a little slut.” Jeongin says, amused that someone like you, someone so pure, could be like this.
His thrusts got more rough. The sound of skin slapping filled the room. His tip hit that one spot inside of you repeatedly. You wrapped your hand around his wrist and squeezed it every time he hit that spot.
He doesn’t need another invitation, and you realize immediately he is not going to hold back as he grabs your hips with more force than before and slams inside you. His balls hit your clit over and over again, and you moan even louder, tilting your head so he can get the hint you want him to pull your hair. But he ignores it.
"Who knew a good little girl like you could be such a slut eh?" Jeongin whispers in your ear, making your cunt itch for him even more.
You whimpered in response. You slid your hand down to your clit and started to rub it in fast circles. Jeongin noticed and smacked your hand away, making you whimper.
Your cunt clenched around his cock, feeling your orgasm build up a second time.
“Jeongin, I’m— mhmm fuck!” You moaned, not being able to finish your sentence.
“Cum for me, darling.” Jeongin whispers in your ear, "Like the good girl you are."
His fingers gave your now sensitive clit a particular rough rub to help you chase your high. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came harder than ever before. Jeongin’s thrusts became sloppy, feeling his orgasm approaching him.
You’re screaming before he can even finish as the strongest orgasm you’ve ever experienced takes over your body. It’s a blinding pleasure you can feel everywhere: from your pussy to your head and even fingers. And the way he keeps thrusting in and out of you at the same speed prolongs it.
Jeongin couldn’t take it anymore. After a few more thrusts, he came inside of you. His thrusts came to a slow stop. His hand left your throat and went to the back of your head, pulling you into a sloppy kiss. He pulled away and looked into your eyes for a few seconds before pulling out of you. He laid down next to you, staring up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.
"Oh fucking hell." He lets out a breathy chuckle, "That was fun wasn't it?"
"Thank you Jeongin." You pant, still not being able to understand that you just lost your virginity.
"No problem darling." Jeongin whispers, "Good little girls like you deserve the best heaven they can get."
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Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged send an ask my way!
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goldengleams · 6 months
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maxed out | luke hughes
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In which Luke calls you out.
Warnings: swearing, fighting
LUKE HUGHES!!!!! ANGST!!!!! Two of my favorite things, hope you enjoy!
————————————————————————
The week was almost over but you felt like you hadn’t achieved anything. You had completed dense readings and wrote two papers and yet an exam and a project loomed in the future. And that wasn’t including the internships you needed to apply for. Apparently they weren’t kidding when they said junior year of college was going to hit you like a ton of bricks.
Three of Luke’s attempts to set up a FaceTime date with you had gone declined, you had opted to do more work instead. Instead of watching a livestream of your boyfriend’s game, you settled for watching the highlight reel before you went to sleep, sending him a congratulatory text when he played well.
You knew long distance with Luke wouldn’t be easy but you both were willing to give it a try. Your relationship was strong when Luke was at Michigan and you thought you would be able to balance everything.
You thought wrong.
Forgotten were all the busy nights when Luke had saved you from your studies or you went to watch a movie with him in his room. Quick lunches and chats in between classes seemed so important just a year ago, but now you couldn’t bring yourself to take your mind off college.
You had sent endless apologies to Luke, which he accepted, but you still felt bad. You knew each other’s schedules pretty well so you felt bad declining his advances when he knew you didn’t have a club meeting or a class. Unfortunately, you never really had a real break due to assignments.
As you wrote in the homework for the next week in your planner, you heard other girls passing by your door. Their voices were loud as they talked about which bar to hit up first, who they were going to meet there.
You felt yourself slipping, tears forming in your eyes at the reminder that that was you. Last fall, you had the boyfriend, the friend group, the perfect schedule. Now, that had all crumbled. You hadn’t felt this alone since your first semester.
As if your body was reacting to the stress you had put it under, you felt yourself start to tremble. Your pen fell from your hand as it shook and you slumped over at your desk. You tried to breathe through the shakiness that overcame you, but it was no use.
You had pushed everyone away in hopes that you could accomplish your schoolwork and applications before you devoted time to relationships with others. Luke, especially, had hurt the most to ignore. He had never made you feel alone. Now, you felt absolutely defeated.
In the midst of your tears, you felt your desk vibrating. Lifting your head, you saw your phone sat on the charger, buzzing with a call.
“Call from Luke Hughes 🤍”
Your stomach dropped. You knew exactly what Luke was doing. About a year ago, when he had first started thinking about leaving early to play in the NHL, Luke had pushed you away, thinking it would hurt less. In an effort to save your budding relationship, you made a promise to call each other when you felt like you weren’t ready to talk face to face. If the other felt like something was wrong, a call was the way to get them to open up.
But Luke had never called you before.
Taking a deep breath, you quickly tried to gather yourself before you clicked the green answer button.
“Hey,” you croaked. You quietly tried to clear your throat so that Luke wouldn’t think something was wrong.
“Hi Y/N,” Luke said softly.
A beat went by with no conversation, so you decided to take control in an effort to steer him off his original course.
“Um, how was the game? I didn’t catch the highlights yet, I’ve just been finishing some homework.”
“On a Friday?” Luke questioned. His tone of voice was bordering on disapproving.
“Yeah, Luke,” you bit back. “I’ve been swamped with work.”
“Y/N, you’re literally the only person I know who works this hard. You can’t always be swamped with work, my god,” Luke complained. “We haven’t talked in a week, y’know.”
“I know, Luke,” you said, feeling a lump rising in your throat.
“I just don’t get it, Y/N. Things used to be so much easier. We used to actually make time for each other, and we used to-“
“Luke, don’t tell me shit I already know,” you warned. “We both knew that things would be different long distance, and we’re still figuring it out.” You knew it was a weak argument, but you felt the need to defend yourself against his fighting words. Whenever you called Luke out on his lack of communication, you never went in with criticism like this.
“No, no I will tell you because I thought we agreed to be there for each other, Y/N. You don’t even watch my games, let alone care about my well-being. It’s like you’re not even there!”
“Are you serious?” You flared. Whether it was due to Luke being the youngest sibling or just being a boy, he always knew how to push your buttons at the worst times. “You know how much I care about you, so don’t even say that, Luke.”
“Yeah well it doesn’t feel like it-it feels like I’m just another task for you now, Y/N,” Luke shouted into the phone. “I have games and practice and everything else and I still manage to talk to you!”
“Well I’m sorry that I’m still in college, trying to get a degree and an internship and every other fucking thing at the same time!” You snapped.
“See, you don’t even care that I was literally there with you, not even six months ago!” You could hear Luke slamming his hand on his desk and you imagined he had a pretty intense look on his face. This wasn’t good. “In case you forgot, I took classes and did homework too, Y/N, but I still had a social life and cared about my friends. It’s like you’re trying to act like you’re smarter than me as an excuse!”
“Fuck you, Luke!” You hadn’t meant to start yelling at Luke, especially not through the phone, but you couldn’t help it. You were at your breaking point with school and Luke was at his breaking point with you.
By now, the tears were flowing in steady streams down your face. To be pushed to the side like this by Luke was something you had never expected.
You couldn’t help the sob that escaped your throat. Once one got out, you couldn’t stop them. The weight of your relationship, school, and your future was finally crashing in on you.
“Y/N?” Luke asked. “Babe, I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not!” You mustered out through your tears. “You called me and I thought you were gonna ask me if I was okay, if I needed anything.”
“And, god, I know I haven’t been a good girlfriend or a good friend, Luke, but I’m on the verge of a fucking breakdown and, and I can barely get through each day, and I guess I just hoped you could tell,” you gasped, feeling close to the point of no return. “I hoped that you wouldn’t give up on me.”
There was silence on Luke’s end of the line.
Your heavy breathing filled in the tense space. You were acutely aware that your walls were thin and someone may have heard everything, but you couldn’t care at this point. You sniffled pitifully, full blown crying having calmed down a little.
“I’d never give up on you, Y/N,” Luke said quietly. “You know I care about you, I’d never give up on what we have.”
You felt a breath enter your lungs as he said it. Maybe there really was hope.
“For real? Because we just had a screaming match on the phone,” you let out a pitiful wet chuckle.
"Well, I did plan to call you tonight to like, actually call you out and see if you were okay but it didn't really go that way," Luke said, sheepishly. "I never wanted to make you cry, Y/N. I'm sorry."
You nodded, knowing Luke couldn't see you but feeling comfort in his intention. You took a deep breath, feeling your nerves calm.
"I mean, you weren't wrong, Luke. I haven't called you and I haven't texted, and I know it's not right but I was just so overwhelmed that I didn't want to take it out on you,” you sighed. “Everything’s been piling up and it’s hard for me to admit that I need help.”
"Y/N," Luke whined. "You know I'm here. You don't have to be stressed out all alone, babe."
"I know," you mumbled. You dragged the sleeve of your sweatshirt across your face to wipe your tears. "I miss you, Lukey. School isn’t fun when you’re not here."
Your phone started buzzing on your desk and you realized that Luke was trying to FaceTime you. You swore that boy could stay on FaceTime all day if his life depended on it. He loved just watching you through the screen, whether it was getting ready or just cooking, he enjoyed every moment of it.
“Hey babe,” he answered when you picked up. He had a small smile on his face and he looked so cute with his freshly washed hair and sweatshirt on.
“Sorry I look rank, I didn’t think we’d call tonight,” you admitted. Your hair was pulled back in an uncommitted hair style and your glasses sat on the bridge of your nose, half sliding down as you tried to wipe your eyes more.
"You look perfect, Y/N. And I miss you more, by the way," Luke countered, laughing a little. "I just want you to relax and do something other than stress about school."
“I mean, I’d like to do that too, just for the record,” you mumbled, yawning into your hand. The stress of the week was finally making you tired.
“How about you go get your nails done and go to lunch? See if Molly’s around,” Luke suggested.
You smiled at Luke on the screen. Even after your relationship was just tested, you and Luke always seemed to pull through.
“Maybe,” you replied. “I did finish my assignments for this weekend, so I could probably rela-”
“Yes! Just sent you money, I’m texting Rutger to tell Molly,” Luke rambled. Your heart warmed at the idea that he was so adamant on helping you de-stress after everything that went on this week. You watched Luke’s determined face on your phone screen as he went to work. Your boyfriend had always shown his love in actions. Luke poked away at his phone and when he was content, set the phone back up against his desk.
“Rutger said he’ll ask Molly but that she’s probably free, so you can finally leave that cave that you call a room,” he laughed.
“Oh please,” you rolled your eyes. “But thank you, that would be really fun to hang out with someone, I’ve missed doing that.”
You and Luke talked for a few more minutes, catching up on his games and his brothers. He even mentioned flying you out for a game, but that was a conversation for another day when you weren’t exhausted. It wasn’t long before your eyelids were drooping, yawns escaping your mouth frequently.
“Go to sleep, babe,” Luke said softly.
“But I want to talk to you, Lukey,” you mumbled, but also stood up to make the short walk to your bed. You climbed in under the sheets and immediately felt peace.
“Call me in the morning, okay?”
You gave a sleepy nod, and mumbled a goodnight to him. You felt better about everything you had talked about with Luke. Everything would be alright.
“Love you, Y/N,” Luke said.
“Love you, Luke, sweet dreams,” you whispered. You shut your phone off and dreamed of seeing your boyfriend again soon.
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Luke has been looking so boyfriend in the last few games so I had to write this!! Enjoy the angst 🥰 feel free to send me requests!!
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daycourtofficial · 7 months
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Training Day
Summary: you ask Azriel to help you demonstrate some moves for training and it very quickly changes things
Author’s note: yeah this one just took on a life of it’s own I guess? Anyway, it’s lots of fun
“Can I use you tomorrow during the demonstration?”
Azriel looks up from his paperwork. The two of you were working in the library, a place you find yourselves most nights. You both enjoy working simultaneously - whether you both have paperwork, research, or personal reading. Most nights were spent on a secluded floor of the library. You two are down here so frequently, Clotho has stopped asking you to return the furniture the way it was, just allowing you two to use this space as your own sanctuary.
“I need a body to use when I’m showing the girls how to defend against an opponent,” you elaborate, and Azriel can’t help but notice a faint blush across your cheeks.
Azriel chuckles, but nods. He can’t say no to helping the priestesses, and he certainly can’t say no to you.
You two return to your previous attentions - you to your book, and him to his paperwork, which he finds much less interesting than you.
It started by the two of you using a table and chairs to work, but you had complained about reading for so long in the chair, that you rearranged the furniture so a table was pulled up to the couch you two are sitting on.
These nights started with you two across the table from each other, and tonight Azriel feels your toes pressing against his thigh, trying to form an entrance underneath his leg. You two now sit on the same couch, more often than not touching in some small capacity. The most recent nights start with you toeing your feet against his thigh, until he eventually grabs legs, sliding you down the couch, and placing your legs across his lap, draping his arms over them. When he’s feeling extra bold, or extra sleepy, he finds himself drawing patterns on your calves with his hands.
-
“Goooood morning!” You chirp to the priestesses, Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel. Azriel left the morning part of training early to bring you up for your demonstration and to talk to the preistesses and Nesta.
They all looked tired and out of breath, no doubt due to Cassian’s training.
“You can all sit for my demonstration. That way I become your favorite teacher.” You smile, eliciting a huff from Cassian.
“First, I want to say that while Cassian and Azriel are great teachers, there is one aspect to training that they cannot grasp. They do not understand what it’s like to be smaller than most of your enemies, to be at least 50 pounds lighter than most of your opponents.” You glance around, and the priestesses seem to be receptive, so you continue.
“Which is why I’m here. Cassian can spend 100 years teaching you proper balance, proper techniques, proper stances. But those things mean nothing if you cannot contextualize what you need to take down an opponent.”
“So today, we’ll be doing a little walkthrough of a fight. My opponent will be Azriel. The goal for today is for us to walk through, step by step, of a fight, and win. So, let’s start by thinking: what are some things that I need to think about when I’m facing Azriel. We don’t know anything about him, we don’t know who he is. We know what we can see, sans shadows. Most opponents won’t have control over shadows, so I’m sorry, but you’ll have to sit the demonstration out.”
With that, his shadows retreat, looking as if they too were looking to sit and watch the demonstration. Azriel doesn’t think about the fact that he didn’t tell them to leave, that they listened to you, not even seeking his approval for the command.
“So, what do I notice about my opponent?”
Gwyn speaks up, “he’s much taller than you.”
Another priestess speaks up, “he’s unarmed.”
“He has wings.” “He’s wearing protective leathers.”
You interrupt them. “All good observations. He’s bigger than I am, unarmed, but protected. These are all important notes when facing an opponent. So, what should I do first?”
Someone immediately yells, “kick him!” You’re pretty sure it was Cassian, but you let it slide. “Where am I aiming my kick?” You ask to the crowd. “His head!” You hear Nesta call back.
“Do we think that is the best course of action?” They all nod, you’re unsure if it’s just because they want to watch you kick their teacher, but you swing your leg out, aiming for his head, holding it right next to him when you ask, “why would this not be the best tactic for me?”
There’s a pause, then Emerie speaks up, “your foot won’t make contact with his head.”
While still holding your leg in the air, mere centimeters from his face, you pull a small chocolate from your pocket and throw it to Emerie. “Correct! I can’t make perfect contact, is there any other problem?”
Gwyn yells out, “you’re vulnerable to be pushed!” You throw another chocolate. “Excellent! Yes, since all my weight is on one leg, he could easily” you prompt, alerting Azriel to his next move. He simply pushes you a little, making you lose balance, “make me lose my footing.”
You stand back up and brush the dirt off.
“If I’m going to execute a move that leaves me vulnerable, I need to be very sure that I can execute it. My legs are not long enough to do so. And our opponents will not stoop down so I can attack them.”
Azriel crouches just a smidge, where if your leg were still in the air you’d be able to connect it to his face.
“When the odds are against you in a fight, you need to even the playing field. Do anything you can to subdue your enemy. A tactic I use frequently is messing with their senses. May I?” You ask Azriel. He nods, curious where this is going.
“My height might be considered a disadvantage, but it allows me to move faster and with more ease than larger opponents like Cassian.”
He rolls his eyes, ready to retort back, but you’ve started talking again. “Showing this in slow mo won’t give you a great idea, and it’s a bit more difficult to do, but here’s what I do. I use my opponents height to their disadvantage.
You plant your right foot on his left thigh. “What do small creatures do? They climb. So I plant one foot on a thigh, and use momentum to swing my other leg onto their shoulder.” As you say this, you swing your left leg over his right shoulder, him holding your right leg planted on his leg so you can move.
“from here, I have one leg secured to a shoulder, so I use that planting to bring up my other leg,” doing as you say, bringing your right leg onto his other shoulder, your legs holding onto his shoulders.
Azriel can’t breathe with you so close to him like this. Do you have any idea the effect this is having on him? How close you are to his face, to his mouth? He’s dreamed of having you like this, pressing you into a wall while he devours you like it’s his last meal.
Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, reminding him of where he is. “From here, I bring both of my fists out wide, gaining as much speed as I can before coming down on my opponent’s ears. This impact will leave their ears ringing, and could disrupt their balance if done hard enough.” You mime the motion, but only lightly hit his ears.
“Then I grab their face,” you say, holding the right side of his jaw, “and I smash my palm as hard as I can into their nose.”
Azriel knew you weren’t going to, but he could think of no better way to go than at your hands while your legs are wrapped around his neck.
You start to uncoil yourself from him, and it takes all of his self control to help you get your feet back on the ground. You start explaining why jabbing a palm through a nose is a good idea. The priestesses didn’t seem to think anything of you being on top of him like that, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cassian’s shit eating grin. He glances in his brother’s direction, wanting him to knock it off before he scares off their trainees, but Cassian mouths the words “loverboy” to him, while kissing the air, before pretending he was paying attention to you the whole time.
-
Your demonstration goes on for a bit longer, you and Azriel having a pseudofight that the priestesses eventually walk you through how to win. You have him pinned to the ground, and their cheers are so loud you’d think you had slain a dragon instead of taking him down.
You’re positively glowing at their praise, and the fact that this method of teaching actually worked. Before he could grow too accustomed to your weight on his chest, you get off of him, offering a hand to help him up, which he gladly accepts.
“Thank you for letting me beat you up today,” you giggle, as the priestesses start heading back toward the library, leaving you and Azriel behind.
He laughs, thinking about his next words, “how could anyone say no to letting you straddle their face and pinning them down?”
Your cheeks are on fire. The two of you were something, you just didn’t know what. On top of spending most days together, you two flirted constantly, once prompting Feyre to throw you in a cold fountain to cool you off.
But flirting was words, and these words were based in real actions you took. Sure it was to show the priestesses some defense moves, and maybe you had some ulterior motives, but you can’t pretend you didn’t enjoy seeing his face between your legs, even if you two were fully clothed in a self-defense seminar.
You were done with flirting that led nowhere, and before you can think about them the words are out of your mouth, “so if I asked you to do it again, with less witnesses and less clothing?”
You physically watch him shudder, at first you’re afraid you went too far, but then he leans down into your ear and whispers, “don’t make offers if you don’t want to follow through.”
You two have been dancing around whatever is between you two for too long, you think. The gentle nights spent in the library, the constant flirting. You spend more time with him than anyone. You’re terrified to move forward, but then you meet his eyes.
They’re full of lust, yes, but there’s an incredible warmth there. A softness, reserved just for you. He always looks at you with delicacy, as if you held his world and too harsh of a stare would break you.
You grab his neck, pulling him down to you as you kiss him. The first thing you feel is his wings wrapping around you, providing you privacy from the world, even though you’re alone in the training area.
Your hands clutch at his face, and your lips cover his, moving in tandem, as if your lips have found the place they belong.
His hands grab your ass, prompting you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. You’re so caught up in the kiss and the heat of it that you don’t even realize he winnowed you two into his room.
You hardly take note of the room, just taking in his smell, his taste, his warmth. You’re not sure how long you guys are kissing, thinking of nothing but the way his hands feel holding you, amazed you two are still wearing any clothes, let alone being fully dressed, when you hear a cough.
You two break away very reluctantly, to see a very smug Cassian standing ten feet away.
“You,” he points directly to you, “owe me $50. Pay up.”
“Now?” You ask incredulously, your hair moving as you whip your head to glare at the intruder.
“Yes, now. It’s my money, and I earned it fair and square.”
Azriel’s confusion shown all over his face, you covered your face in your hands while Cassian says, “I bet her $50 that if she had you help with her demonstration and got on your shoulders like that, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself.”
“I- um - I didn’t know how to make the first move,” you say meekly, “and he seemed so sure of this working.”
You were so concerned he’d be mad that you manipulated this situation, but Azriel, while still holding you, tells Cassian, “I’ll give you $100 if you leave and don’t let anyone disturb us for a week.”
Cassian, always ready to make a quick buck, quickly agrees and scuttles out of the room, closing the door on his way.
“How do you go from not knowing how to make the first move to doing that?” Azriel asks, amusement shining on his face.
“Well, I thought my shameless flirting wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I had to take more drastic measures.”
He roars in laughter, and you can feel the vibrations through his chest. “You’ve always had my attention,” he says, looking at you the way a predator would, “but now you have my undivided attention. And I just paid a hefty fee to get us some time away from everyone.”
He wiggles his eyebrows at you as you giggle, holding onto him tighter, “oh no, a whole week with no distractions, whatever shall we do?” You ask, trying to sound distressed, but your giggles give you away.
“I think I stopped paying attention during your presentation, do you want to remind me again about depriving your opponent of their senses with your legs?”
You throw your head back in laughter, and he tilts your head down to capture your laugh in his kiss.
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bubblergoespop · 29 days
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My Top Aaron Quotes
men who are just constantly tired of everything>>>>>
“Well buckle up, wiz kid.”
“So yeah, I am gonna miss you. I’m really gonna miss you.”
“Sue me. Except don’t. My brain is already fried from the financials, I don’t need to throw legalese on top of that.”
“Fuck it. There’s nothing in here I can’t replace. I want you."
“Oliver”
“I didn’t say I wanted to spend the day with you, I asked if you wanted to spend the day with me. I asked first.”
"Ell"
“Hey, stop it. Because you know how much I like you running your fingers through my hair. Makes my brain go all fuzzy.”
“I appreciate it. And you.”
“Oh, it’s not playing dirty. It’s just me making you feel good.”
“I didn’t realise I was apparently dating an anthropomorphic backpack.”
“H-hey—stop it. You—no, your kisses are just… it tickled. Shut up. So what if my sides are ticklish, it’s not like that’s weird, you shit.”
“Oh, and now you can’t even find the strength to lift your head out of my lap, hmm? You poor thing. Who knew that being lazy could be so exhausting?”
“I love you very much. Now get off me.”
“You talked a big talk back then. But it turns out you’re just a cuddle-hungry softy after all, huh? Yes you are. At least when you’re still sleepy, anyway.”
“I also know you’re probably the kind to fly off half-cocked and make me chase you down with the SPF 50 like a madman. If for no other reason than to infuriate me.”
“Come here. Come closer. Because I said so.”
“I love you. And I love rain. And I love being with the person I love while it rains. Isn’t that a fun little combo?”
“You are very cute looking up at me like that.”
“Or is the thought of a few more minutes in my arms that much of an imposition? Asshole. Mmm. I love you too.”
“I can’t even try to say a nice thing without you having to get some snark into it, can I? No, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You brat. I love you just as you are.”
“You make me better. And that’s no small order when you’re talking about me, given the high level I already started at.”
“A man’s gotta eat. And you’ve always been my favorite thing on the menu.”
“Oh yes, you’re so put upon. Your evil boyfriend only makes you a whole breakfast spread, he won’t then also let you sleep in even later than you already have.”
“Eli”
“Yes, in a shocking twist, I do find your absence unpleasant. Perish the thought, right?”
“Time spent with the people I care about is important to me. It doesn’t have to be time doing anything special, it doesn’t have to be conversations about our future or some greater purpose or any of that shit, I just want to be with the person that I’m with.”
“Sure, there are plenty of ways to sleep on a couch just fine. It’s your hybrid approach that lands somewhere between gymnast and pretzel that tends to get you in trouble.”
“You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay.”
“If it feels like it's coming on again, come tell us, okay?”
“I only met them a handful of times. They're sweet. They laugh a lot. They spent most of the time giving Elliott shit, it was funny. Not in like a mean way, like the way you do when you love somebody that much. They were a good balance for one another.”
“God I sound old. And I feel old. And I’m not, but it feels like it. A grumpy old man. Might as well start yelling at kids to not play so loud in the neighborhood, really complete the image.”
“Stop calling me an old man, only I’m allowed to call me old. Don’t be mean. I’m in a vulnerable state. I need baseless praise.”
“Yes. Holding you feels very productive.”
“Yeah. Let me just rub it on that pretty face for a little bit…”
“ It’d be fine. Almost as fine as you. I’m tired, I’m allowed to be stupid.”
“El, I have never hated you. You’re my little brother, I love you.”
“No the windows are mirrored glass. You should know that, you worked here.”
“Whose is it? Louder”
“Thank you baby. Yeah, thank you for trusting me like you do. […] All I wanna do is prove myself worthy of that trust.”
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crystallilytarot · 25 days
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Choose a crocodile. How to work on your insecurities?
(I think it's more like just some advice, idk, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway)
Pile 1
If someone ever said to you that you are not good enough, it's just their opinion, it's not like the whole world said it. And especially if they are a bad person or someone who isn't even so close to you, just ignore them. Like only 1 teacher said it. But even if it was a family member, if someone really love you, they won't be mean to you. Yeah, we can learn from critics, if it's supposed to be helpful, not if it's just simply comes from jealousy. The past is the past, you should see forward, not what was before, you can do better, you can be succesful, you can be loved. Even if you weren't before. Believe in yourself more! You should stand up for yourself, but also, sometimes fighting is not worth it. You should find the balance, especially within yourself. Just focus on your goals. You have everything you need to be succesful, so you really should work on your confidense. And some things really needs time, be patient, consistent and don't give up! There's something here about either moving to another place, or traveling, and maybe you should be more often in the nature. But I think it's also a sign, that yes, you will move and travel!
Pile 2
Oh dear. I don't really read about health, but if you have anxiety or any mental health issues, please seek professional help if you can. And if you have a friend, you can trust, it would be good too. I think a lot of things here comes from mental health problems. I would say if you have any hobbies, that's a good thing, or if you are a fan of something/somebody. But make sure it's healthy, not an obsession. It can be just that you spend too much time online, and it's bad because we can see unrealistic things, and that will become unrealistic expectations. If you feel sometimes like you need to romanticize your life, escape to a fantasy world, enjoy childish things etc. It's all good, don't be ashamed to do whatever you enjoy. I think the most important here is to work on staying optimistic, keeping your faith. If something is bad, it's not the end of the world, you can try again. And you really need to love yourself more, accept yourself, your body, your personality. You are so loveable, please love yourself too, care about yourself too, not just others.
Pile 3
I think sometimes you make a decision and later you regret it. So you should think about things before. Don't be so reckless. Don't get into heated arguments. I won't say never, but sometimes we should let go of things, especially if the other person simply just won't see our point of view. Or sometimes they just don't understand you, because I think you are very smart. Also you should think about what you really want. Because we can be interested in a lot of things, but sometimes we don't have the energy to do everything or sometimes we can be bored. And it's okay to change and even stop doing stuff, if it's not enjoyable for you anymore. You can't be good at everything. But if you really want something, you can make a plan, a goal, search information, make a vision board maybe. You can do some things like this, to stay motivated. Sometimes we should take things a little lighter, nobody is perfect, it's okay to laugh even at yourself. I mean not in a mean way, but to lighten the situation sometimes. And just to have a little fun, you should laugh more often. If you work hard, that work will pay off, but you can enjoy the life too, not just when you achieve something. It's okay to be emotional too. You should take care of yourself better, do some selfcare, love yourself, and just go with the flow a little.
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tuliptic · 7 months
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What Is My Purpose Here On This Land
This is for all, but especially for those with existential crises. We’ve wondered what we are meant to do, do we have a purpose being on this planet, and many more questions continue to feed our brains. 
Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages does your weary heart need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.
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Pile 1    -     Pile 2
Pile 3    -     Pile 4
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.
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Pile 1: The Rose
A card to represent you: The Chariot
One funny thing when I was shuffling this deck was that this card came out tumbling. It was like.. Upright, reverse, upright again. I’m taking this as a sign. You like taking the wheel. You’ve been through the ups and downs as you journey ahead, sometimes lacking direction, learning self-discipline throughout the process, learning the importance of strength and will, finding balance, and driving to where you are right now. There’s this determination that you’ve gained from past experience, and you’re still driving ahead. A word of advice is to be aware of your own focus level, and to take a rest when you’re tired. The journey of life ahead is long, and it’s always alright to take a break now and then. For some reason, I also feel some of you may be travelling right now, or intend to travel in the future. Make sure to prepare a proper itinerary and have emergency numbers saved! 
1. What is my role here on earth? - The High Priestess
First word I’m picking up is healing. You’re the person who answers to the cries of help, being the Universe’s hands in providing aid to those who pray for it, to be that gentle beauty without losing your thorns. You’re called to be the healing energy, to be the kindness that people need but may or may not deserve. Not to put a burden on you, but you probably tend to be kind and subconsciously heal or watch over those who need your help, even strangers, and even people who do not deserve those kindness. (There’s this nagging behind my head that reminds me of the people in Gotham who did nothing yet yells for help/salvation, instead of fighting and protecting their “loved” ones.)
2. Have I achieved it? - The Fool
You’re only starting on this journey. Or maybe have yet to start on this journey. You probably realised this uhhh ability of yours very recently, or have only decided to really start doing something on it. See, realising this ability/skill doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. You may realise your skill for art but not continue cultivating that skill. It’s the same. You’ve probably stopped all those questions and try to take out that first step to do it. You’re killing your doubt step by step, betting in yourself and trusting in yourself to do something entirely new. (Yes, ITZY’s Bet On Me is playing as I write this.)
3. How to achieve it? - The Sun
There are so many things embodied in this card: brightness, hope, ray of hope, and more to come. What I’m feeling from this is mainly warmth, asking you to just be this Sun, to shine just as you are. It’s gonna sound weird but imagine healing rays? I’m cringing and having a weird face as I type this out. But yeah, just be who you are, to continue doing what you do. Just know that your presence is like a walking energy-purifier, lifting up the spirits even by smiling to strangers or wishing them a good day. You can attempt to try doing something else, for example, being more active in volunteer work in nursing homes and shelters, playing a part in activist activities, or even taking up counselling courses to help people out. These are only some of the many ways that are available. Most importantly is that you do kindness with kindness, not to have any ulterior motives behind them.
4. Why do I need to do it? - Seven of Wands rx
The world is changing, more and more people are experiencing a feeling of defeat and overwhelmingness, including you. All are called to make a change, and this is your part in the pledge to make a change. We have arrived at a time of change, and actions need to be taken. People have been fighting among themselves, you may even have been having conflicting thoughts and contradicting beliefs. Peace has been taken away, and instead of fighting to get back that same peace, it’s time to recreate a new peace that will work for this new world. A new structure is needed, and you’re one of those first few people who are tasked to build things anew again.
5. What can I learn from it? - King of Pentacles rx
What you’ll be learning is not only based on what you’ve experienced, but from what you’ve observed. You saw the fall of those who have been obsessed with earthly riches, those who have been paying attention to the materialistic realm, and have forgotten to nourish their soul and mental energy. The downfall was harsh and painful, reminding you that balance is needed in every aspect. From there, you’re gonna continue spreading kindness, letting the scars of the past be a reminder of what has happened, and how you’re gonna redirect the course of your energy.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Knight of Pentacles rx
Self-discipline will take you to a lot of places, and will also be able to take you to places that you thought you never would’ve reached. This gift of yours, this purpose of your is not to let you be more spiritual, but to be more down to earth. You’re supposed to be the bridge between the spiritual themes with the practical, existing world we’re living in right now.  From this, you’ll also be able to get connected to your roots, your family, your ancestry, even get connected to your race. I hope I do not get into trouble with how I phrase myself here hshshs. But y’know how colonialism has affected a lot of things, like religion and even language. I don’t quite remember where I heard it, but Tagalog or Filipino, languages of the Philippines, have Spanish influence in it. Or how Christianity kinda replaced the other folk religions with how it’s being brought in. So yeah, you’ll need to do the dissection to find out which was the original, which you wanna connect with. You define your own roots, and you take charge of it.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Tower
Whilst you dream, you clear your mind of all negativity and your spirit will be refreshed. With that, you’ll charge ahead, doing everything you can until you feel that you’ve changed the world. It sounds really idealistic, but if you need to remember the catastrophic energy that The Tower brings. The change is not gonna be small, and you can’t do it alone. You’ll work ahead, without knowing how long it’ll take. You then make friends on the way, working towards the same goal but with different tasks, slowly but steadily paving and painting a new path. Just like the straw that breaks the camel’s back, your tiniest effort shatters the restrictive and unhelpful rules that were oppressing the people.  That’s what you’re meant to be, that’s what you can achieve. But I need to remind you that this self-fulfilment level differs for everyone. One can feel content by doing small things, while some want the satisfaction that comes with doing great things. They are all valid and powerful acts in their own ways, and no one can deny the effort and effect that comes with it.
Overall energy: The Fool, Ace of Pentacles
Overall, you’re called to take actions to start a new chapter of your life. You’re the main character of your own story, you’re the one who decides how you want to paint your journey. However, whatever that you’re intending to do, remember to not do it alone. A solo trip is fun, but a journey? It’s best to have people joining your cause to support each other. Remember that there are other animals in The Fool, cuz one is  a guide and the other is a guard/support. The energy of rebirth and transformation comes heavily in this pile, and sometimes, it can destroy you in the process. Proceed with caution and with faith. We are praying for you as you travel.
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Pile 2: The Mirror
A card to represent you: The Sun
You attempt to be a person to bring warmth to people around you. The Sun shines warm lights, and that’s something you enjoy as well. But sometimes, when anger gets hold of you, you tend to burn people around you, accidentally or on purpose. You don’t really use the reason “I didn’t mean to”, because if you injure people, you totally mean it. It’s probably due to them crossing your boundaries repeatedly, and you didn’t want to hold back any longer. But still, the card wants to remind you of who you wanted to be. Do not let anger cloud the true you. Let out that anger at the right person, and go back to who you are, the warm and accepting you.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Judgement rx
I don’t really wanna use the word here but you’re called to learn the karmic lessons in the past, may it be the current past or your past lives. There are times that you hold on to your values, yet the world continues to challenge you, which may have made you question what is the meaning of you being here, what do you need to do to get out of this cycle of unfairness. Instead of fighting it, it’s time for you to discard the mask of pride that you’ve been wearing, and accept that unfairness is a part of life that you need to go through. Once there's acceptance, you can build a new structure (structure on how you go through problems, or building up new values or habits, or anything else that can help you). Humility is what you need. And stay away from humiliation. These are two very different things. People taking credit over what you do is… Something you need to be aware of. But. If there are people out there who take credit over what you do yet accuse you of copying or shit like that? Fight.
2. Have I achieved it? - Seven of Pentacles
This is something that will take long to achieve it, but you’re still on the way. You probably have noticed this… Thing? That things have been unfair and that it is too tiring to live, and you’re somehow somewhat struggling through life. Sure, there are times that are fun, but you know that fun does not last long and once it’s time, you continue crashing the waves and pressure life gives you.  You feel like you’ve been doing this forever, and things just don’t seem that they are turning better. Have faith that it will. Belief is a skill that comes with birth, you just need to hold on to it, believing that things will resolve in the end. Which it will. The struggles will become lighter eventually, because hard work and effort pays off.
3. How to achieve it? - The Magician rx
There are some other untapped talents in you, and it’s time for you to unlock them. You need to be able to find them and develop them. It’s not something you can easily access to, but it’s something you’ll need to practise and to get good at, and then to use them wisely. This untapped skill of yours may be something spiritually related, with you standing in between humanity and spirituality. You need to be aware to not fall into people’s traps, and to make sure that you do not manipulate others in the process. I feel that this pile may have some talents or skills in manipulation and deception (either you’re aware or not), but you can choose to not do so. Remember, if you choose to do so, there will be more things that you’ll lose. The Magician talks about alchemy, where you use one thing to exchange for another of equal value. 
4. Why do I need to do it? - Nine of Wands
There’s a resilience that you need to learn, encouraging you to pay attention to your rights, believe in yourself and defend your position or property. It is time to gather your experiences and life lessons, to reflect on what life has shown you. There’s this hint of spirituality that you’re also called to evaluate - to see what it has to offer in your life, to see how you can use this to make it another life lesson/asset of yours. You need to remember that the process of learning can be difficult and challenging, but you can also make it fun, make it lighter. Unlike in school, where you learn without passion (for most people), you are now learning new things because you’re interested in it. So yeah, learn through playing and experimenting, celebrate each growth and resilience you’ve unlocked. I hope I’m making sense here.
5. What can I learn from it? - Four of Cups
I doubt that many who pick this pile are happy with meditation, but this is one thing you’ll be learning. There’s a need to reevaluate yourself, and realigning values within you. I’m having some difficulties in forming my words, because it feels like your pile already knows about this, but in some sense, refuse to do this, refuse to acknowledge this. You’ve probably heard a lot of this kinda talk, where you need to do this and that to achieve that enlightenment. You really didn’t like that, and you still don’t like it.  Yet, this is needed. You need to go through a long while of silence, a time of reflection, to make changes and to be reborn again. It’s difficult, you may cry again and again, because you’ve been in darkness for so long, slowly giving up on whatever ways are out there. Know that it can’t be any darker than this, and it’s also a chance for you to recognise light, and to embrace that light.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Five of Cups rx
You have to accept pain has been crucial in your growth, and walk away from it. It’s time for you to move on, and you’ll find yourself to be more… Accepting? Acceptance is a huge theme in your reading, where you acknowledge that this has happened, and you accept it, and then move on with life. As long as you accept something has happened, that weight will be slowly lifted away from your shoulders. You won’t be able to move when you’ve been crushed by all those unhappiness (or even happiness) that you’ve been holding onto. Focus on wholeness, learn how to take things up and put them down, continue on with the journey of letting go.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Hierophant
The Hierophant is often related to religion, and it being paired with spirituality speaks even more so. I’m not saying that achieving enlightenment (don’t mistake it with the Buddhist term, please) IS fulfilling for you, but it is one step to achieve what you wanted - release. Life’s burdens have been pulling this pile down, and what you want the most is release, release from responsibilities; release from fears; release from expectations; release from this endless cycle that has been trapping you. You’ll need to invite in a new thought to be released from what has been tying you down, and it’s time for you to be reborn again.
Overall energy: The Lovers, Eight of Cups
There are times where you need to make decisions between two choices that were offered to you. Oftentimes, you want to pick neither, but life decides it for you anyways. Either paths will lead you to where you’re meant to go, so why not stand still for now and listen to your life? Looking at it may be distracting, as there are a lot of worries and neon lights around. Make a cup of drink, sit down, put on your earphones and play some soft music. You might be able to hear something.  One thing I have to mention is that there’s a heavy Pluto and karmic energy I’m sensing from here. It’s like… A huge circle, a cycle, where things happen again and again. You’ll need time (and a lot of time) to complete this cycle, only then you can break free from there. Some may feel dejected, but do remember that every step you’re taking right now is bringing you closer to the end. The Mirror is also here for you to reflect, to see who you are, and to see who you are Inside.  Make this promise that you’ll be kind to yourself, appreciate each step that you’re taking and celebrate the small wins.
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Pile 3:  The Key
A card to represent you: The World
This pile is giving me a very comforting and secured energy. Paired with this card, those who picked this pile may have completed a project, or have achieved one of their goals in life, or are close to closing an existing project with success. You may also be one of the fixed signs (Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) or have them in your personal planets.  Another thing I’m picking up is that some of you may be looking out for new projects to start when you haven’t reached the end of the current project. Take a step back, do not rush into things quickly. Sure, an end speaks of a new beginning, but you need time to plan a proper project and to recuperate from the exhaustion of the previous project.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Three of Swords rx
I’m seeing more of a guide here. You have been through difficulties in life, and from those, you’ve gained experiences, insights, knowledge and wisdom. With that, you’re tasked to guide the rest who are going through a hard time this round. It’s difficult because kindness isn’t something everyone is equipped with, and for you, especially, you may find it a lil bitter. This is where you challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, to try something that you’ve never thought of, or even detest. But you gotta do it as the path you step on is the road to growth and illumination.
2. Have I achieved it? - Knight of Wands
You're charging towards it, albeit a lil reckless. You do have the passion in it, and you’re more than willing to be the change, even wishing that the change is something that can change the world. You can’t wait to experience the storm and thunder, wanting to feel the same scale of impact.  However, you need to remember that passion can dissipate quickly, like how it started. There might be transits in your life, maybe Mars is transiting one of your personal planets right now, which gives you that impulse of wanting to achieve something. You are in control of your response, but the actions of other people and events are not. Do not be dejected when people reject you, but continue ahead without that recklessness.
3. How to achieve it? - Ten of Swords
You will be able to achieve it by going through defeats. You’re one who learns through actual defeats, the pain, remembering the falls of life through your body and soul. From there, only then you can compile those you’ve learnt and observed into a book, for your own and other’s references. At this phase, you may feel pulled between one path or another, and pushed to make a decision. It can be quite tense, but don’t avoid it. These tense situations build your strength, getting you ready to fly. Do not bend; do not submit defeat, continue ahead to chase after your ideals. Let that resolution and will to be your light.
4. Why do I need to do it? - Two of Wands rx
There’s a fear in you, not knowing what you are meant to achieve. This could be a personal goal for you to focus throughout your lifetime, building yourself up, giving you an unnamed courage to find your inner power. I feel that you may have subconsciously (or maybe consciously) compared yourself to people around you, wondering where in life you are, what you’re meant to do. To counter that, you need to set a personal goal, to have some sort of inner alignment, and figure out what you want to achieve. Do you want to appear as a confidant people turn to? Are you keen on sharing thoughts and experiences to make people’s lives a lil bit easier? Try taking a notebook and writing your goals down, and see what you need to do, or what you should stop doing to achieve that. It’s time that you activate a certain switch in you to be that fire (either to warm or to destroy. It’s up to you).
5. What can I learn from it? - The Hierophant, Ace of Pentacles
I feel that you may be even able to start something, maybe a support group or a club, especially in a religious context. There’s some form of finances involved in it, so yeah, maybe a support group where you guide others, and others guide the others, and let the leaves of the tree expand. Finances will be involved in terms that there are donations coming in, which you may use to assist those who are financially needy.  You’ll be able to accept this new side of yours, and be more willing to reach out your hands because you could physically see how this chain of kindness continues on, holding on more hope that things can actually change for the better.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Judgement
It is time for you to reevaluate your life, what meanings you want to fix to your life. There may be a calling to change your life or open your heart to new possibilities, to new responsibilities or a new field of work. The horn in this card symbolises that there may be a wake-up call from the world around you, telling you that it’s time to stop being in your head, to see the world for who it is, and how you’re supposed to make changes, or answer to those changes. Change can refer to something tangible and immediate, or the whole way one sees life. In fact, you may have already changed without realising it.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Five of Cups rx
There’s a release from pain and suffering. The pain and suffering does not necessarily mean something physical, but something that’s more on a spiritual level. Y’know how sometimes one can feel… Empty and blank? That. That is actually suffering on a spiritual level, because you have no direction, no guidance, and sometimes that could feel suffocating. Some out there could just go along with life even though they have no idea what to do, and it’s cuz their direction of life is to go along with what the journey has to offer. What you’re doing right now is just standing there and looking blankly to where your eyes are looking, which increases the weight in your chest and legs.  Through this, you’ll be able to find a proper direction and the awakening that comes with it will elevate you. Walking again after you’ve been standing so long will be uncomfortable at first, but take small and steady steps. You’ll find yourself running again soon.
Overall energy: The Star, Four of Swords
This reading talks about hope and rest, and how they come hand in hand. I felt a weight on my chest as I was typing the self-fulfilment part, because of how heavy the desperation and feeling of loss is. Know that The Star is shining a gentle ray of hope, consoling you that things will be better. The Star may not be visible all the time, especially in the daylight. But know that she is always there, and you can hear her whispers in the night, when you think you’re about to fall. Be kind to yourself and share your beauty as well as knowledge with those around you. But remember to take rests as well. You can’t afford to do much when you’re having a burnout. It’s alright to fall, but remember to rest and stand up again. Your passion is your greatest drive, go for it.
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Pile 4: The Word
A card to represent you: The Magician rx
I feel like you’re currently standing in the middle of two different things, two very different and distinct fields (like science vs arts, realism vs spirituality), not knowing where to head to. There’s some sort of pull from both of them and you’re feeling very, very torn.  However, remember that the Magician is someone that has a lot of skills, and has been acting as the bridge between the physical plane and the spiritual realm for a long time. You, also, have the skills to bridge between the various fields/things that are scattered across. As the bridge, you can see the connecting and overlapping points, and you can build out from there. You honour differences and expand.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Two of Swords rx
Your role is to take out the blinds that were covering the people’s eyes, including yours. You are called to stop them from hiding or shying away from the truth, making them see what is the truth, calling them to face reality. For some reason, I feel that you may have not been very liked at home due to this nature. Your parents may think that their reputation or status as parents should not be challenged, but you couldn’t care less about it. What you cared about was that justice and truth be upheld, and you won’t hesitate to rip anyone apart if they tried saying otherwise. This, in turn, has created quite a huge confrontation when you were growing up. But are you stopping there? No. You will continue your role of wake up call, but only once or twice. You’ve understood that there are always people out there who want to run away from the truth, and you’re not gonna waste your effort and time on them.
2. Have I achieved it? - The Chariot rx
You’re currently in a fallback. You took a step back to look at the options available and to reevaluate the situation. You realise that you were having a narrow goal and vision tunnel, which will cost a lot of meaningless sacrifice. You may have thought that it was okay to let your horses run without holding the reins, but now is not the time. You’re now evaluating and weighing the pros and cons, which are the items that you want to invest your time and energy on, finding out where your passion lies. A word of advice: Do not be afraid to try multiple things. Nothing is fixed in stone. Just like you may discover a new favourite dish later, you may also discover a new skill that is useful.
3. How to achieve it? - Page of Cups rx
First of all, you need to kill your doubts and fears. Fear is one main thing that’s stopping you from trying new things in different fields. There are always new things out there waiting for you to try, there are new opportunities that can’t wait to come to you. Being protective of your own energy is important, but you need to get out at times, to talk to people, to learn their ideas and train of thoughts, to see things from their point of view. This way, instead of tearing down the blinds covering their eyes, you’ll be able to verbally convince them to take the blinds down themselves, which is a much gentler way. Be honest and true, even to your fears. Accept them, and they might reward you with something special.
4. Why do I need to do it? - The Fool rx, Knight of Pentacles
I’m seeing some form of heavy responsibility here. You are not tasked to enjoy or to have fun, but to be like a defender, a protector, even a fighter or truth. Unlike The Fool, who goes on new journeys having fun, you are stationed at a place, guarding the gates, making sure those who enter are those who have earned it. This responsibility is not randomly placed on people, but it chooses those who vow to bear witness to the truth. Obligation is a word that’s also relevant here, where you’re also willing to bear this duty. Not sure if you’re doing this because you want the truth to be known or you just wanna spite people by forcing them to look at their wounds. It’s all up to you.
5. What can I learn from it? - Page of Wands
It’s like… A stone egg hatching. You thought that it was a stone, from its rough and hard exterior. But in reality, it’s actually a dragon egg. You learn that miracles happen in various forms, and that one really needs to think of the various possibilities and potentials you hold, even the ones that sound impossible. It’s alright to fail, it’s alright to fall, as long as you continue to climb up and attempt, you’ll be able to see the glory that’s arriving your way. Glory is a huge word but it is what it is. Stop losing focus and get that glory in your hands.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Eight of Pentacles
You can transform into a gem by polishing and honing your skills. If I were to compare and describe, I’d say that you’re a jade as compared to other stones out there. It takes a skilled master to recognize the green under the hard and dusty exterior. Now, you’re that skilled master, and you’re gonna trim and polish the rock to reveal the gentle green in it. It can only be done little by little, and repeating the process until you see that gleam of green. And that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna polish your skills day by day, night by night. Repetition of the task can sound mundane but that’s needed for you to be able to gain precision. This precision can be used in a lot of places, such as knowing the fine line of breaking the truth harshly or choosing to not say a single thing. Sometimes, people have their pride, and that precision will be able to help you to observe which line to cut, where to stop.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Ten of Swords rx
Through this, I’d say that you’ll be able to let go of the past hurt that you have. There is a lot of anger and pain, especially when you recall how you were treated unfairly. You weren’t in the wrong, but you still get attacked. Now, you’ve learnt how to see things from their side and handle them properly, you’re now able to move on from that anger. It’s difficult, but at least, that chapter of your life is ending. You can close that book, and move on to the second book of your trilogy. Life’s a journey, make the rest of it worthwhile.
Overall energy: The Star, Seven of Cups (Strength hidden behind that keeps wanting to show up)
The Word in this picture is Love. Redirect that love to yourself, allow hope to shine on you, and accept that gleam of hope. Opportunities are coming, but you need to learn how to differentiate them from the illusions or wishful thinkings you’ve made. Fret not, you have the strength, the power to discern them according to your inner code of morale. You have what it takes, so practice courage each day. There’s a new you in the future that’s waiting for you. They seem eager, and prepared to take you onto a new journey, to see the new sceneries that come along with it.
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Thank you for reading!
442 notes · View notes
janeyseymour · 1 month
Note
personal and professional 1-3 was soooooo good it gave me an idea!
a mel x work crush reader story in which cute shy fem reader has a sleeper build. usually wearing regular lose fit clothing until one day they have to wear a fancy skirt and heels bringing attention to readers muscular legs. abbott crew starts asking reader questions about her workout routine leading a jealous melissa to make a snarky comment about reader skipping arm day to which reader says something like don’t let the outfit fool you i could bench you right now heels and all. melissa keeps pushing readers buttons until reader grabs melissa and starts overhead pressing with absolutely no issue to prove their point leaving melissa stunned. idk maybe it ends with melissa asking reader on a date that day after school?
Press You (Up Against a Wall)
WC: 3.3k
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You were hired as the long term substitute gym teacher at Willard R. Abbott Elementary School in January, but when the teacher who was out on maternity leave decided to leave the position permanently- that she can’t even believe she stayed there throughout her pregnancy in the first place- you were brought on for the full-time position. So, now you’re Abbott’s official gym teacher, and you couldn’t be more thrilled.
Really, any physical education teacher position is a score in your mind because showing up to school in sweatpants or joggers everyday is any teacher’s dream come true. But Abbott is so nice because you can pretty much do whatever you want with the kids- including dodgeball, which is banned at most schools. 
Under all of your gym clothes, you have a nice body- you’ll be the first one to admit that. Working out six days a week along with having a well balanced diet doesn’t go to waste. None of the teachers, or Ava for that matter, know that you’re a bit of a gym rat- okay, a really big gym rat. Sure, they know you’re athletic and that you’re slim, but they haven’t seen your legs- probably the best part about your body. You’re thankful for that because up until now, you’ve evaded the principal’s flirtatious personality and comments. 
The only person who knows how in shape you are is Mr. Johnson because you help him move things or fix things when necessary. He’s immensely grateful and has promised to keep your hidden figure a secret- he knows how you don’t want to be hit on like Gregory is.
But now, you’re being forced to go to PECSA, and you really don’t know why you have to go, but the school is paying for your hotel room, and you don’t have to attend any of the seminars based on curriculum because you don’t teach any of the core subjects (you had thoughts on that title… physical education was one of the most important for those kids to be participating in if they wanted to grow to be strong and healthy adults).
So while everyone else is supposed to be at their seminars, you sleep in before heading down to the gym to get your daily workout in.
After you’re finished, you head back up to your hotel room and shower before changing into an old band t-shirt, a light sweatshirt, and a pair of joggers. Deciding that you have enough time to explore and just soak everything in, you exit your hotel room.
As you go to back away from your door, so is Melissa Schemmenti- donned in a bathing suit as opposed to the clothes that she should be clad in to attend different seminars.
“Hey, Schemmenti,” you look her up and down. 
“Y/N,” Melissa looks you up and down too. “Don’t tell anyone, but Barb ’n’ I haven’t gone to a single one of those dumb jawns. All for the newbies.”
You mime zipping your lips before letting out a chuckle. “You’ll be at the big party though, right?”
“Hell yeah I will be. I have a math-o-rita chugging champion title to maintain,” she smirks.
“Good. I don’t think I could survive the Abbott crew without you to keep me company,” you blush as you tell her that. “Not that I don’t like the others, but… you know what I mean.”
“I gotchu,” she smiles. “Just stick with me and Barb, and you’ll be fine.”
You nod. “You mind if I join you now?”
“If you can get changed in the next few-”
“Nah, I don’t wanna swim, I just wanna relax in the presence of others,” you lie a little. You really just want to be in her presence.
You and her meet the kindergarten teacher down by the pool, and Barb’s eyes widen just slightly when she sees that Melissa brought you.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she still greets you kindly. “Decided to ditch the seminars?”
“I don’t have to go to most of them,” you laugh softly as you tuck a hair behind your ear. “Just the ones that have to do with PBIS and all of that. Other than that, I’ve just been kind of wandering. Saw Melissa, and I tagged along.”
“And she didn’t tell you to beat it?” Barbara raises a brow.
Melissa shrugs. “She looked like a lost puppy dog, so I took her under my wing.”
Little do you or Barbara know, she has had quite the thing for you since you first walked into the building and greeted her while she was bringing her kids down to special. And then when you spoke to her so shyly, but then she could hear you command the gymnasium to gain control of her class- it really struck a chord with her, and she was taken with you. She would never tell you that, and actually was a bit tougher on you than she was with others, but you have her figured out. She seems to be a bit tougher on those she likes rather than just ignore the ones who she tolerates or just genuinely doesn’t enjoy the presence of. 
“I can go if-”
“You’re with us now. Don’t be an idiot,” Melissa rolls her eyes. 
You bite your bottom lip nervously. “Okay, okay.”
You relax in the lounge chair next to her, and you have to admit it’s a little warmer than you were anticipating it being in here (foolishly… it’s an indoor pool area, what we’re you expecting?). So you shrug off your jacket, tie your hair up, and hike your sweatpants up to your knees.
If Barbara and Melissa notice your calves, they don’t say anything.
You end up falling asleep with your arms protectively wrapped around yourself, and you don’t wake until you feel someone gently shaking you.
“Hun, it’s time to get up.” You jolt awake, clearly terrified as your eyes go wide and your breathing gets deeper for a second. But then you look up, and there’s… well, there’s Melissa’s cleavage in your face, and then a bit further up are her emerald eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s ‘kay,” you mumble as you yawn and stretch a bit. “Sorry I fell asleep on youse.”
“Aye, no problem at all,” she smiles down at you. “Just didn’t wanna leave you down here to think Barb and I abandoned ship, but we’re gonna start getting ready for the party.”
“I guess I should too,” you sigh softly as you stand.
You and the redhead head up to your rooms and start to get ready.
It doesn’t take you long to get ready. You really just throw on the dress you brought- one that accentuates your legs- before applying a light amount of makeup. You run your fingers through your hair as you glance in the mirror. You look good. Deciding that you would rather not kill your feet just yet though, you wait to put on your heels.
A bit later, you hear a knock on your door as you’re laying in bed and scrolling through Instagram. You stand and make your way to the door before looking out the peephole. It’s Melissa, and she looks… stunning. Her hair is in big curls, and she has a beautiful green dress on that only makes her eyes pop even more.
“Hey,” you breathe out softly. “You look… wow.”
She gives you a once over. “I could say the same things about you.”
Your cheeks turn red at her compliment and her lingering eyes on your body.
“You ready? I want a math-o-rita in my hand, and the lines will get ridiculous later on,” she tells you. “And this way we can save a table for our group.”
“Y-yeah,” you say softly as you continue to stare at her. “Just let me put on my shoes.”
She nods as she leans against the doorframe and watches. Then, you give her a nod, make sure you have your lipgloss and keycard, and head out.
When you get down there, she immediately heads towards the bar and quickly returns with two drinks in hand. She hands one to you, and the two of you clink your glasses together. You take a nice swig of it in hopes of relaxing. By the time the rest of your group joins you, both of you are on your second drink.
“You two are here early,” Barbara notes as she looks between the two of you. “Are we interrupting something?”
Melissa rolls her eyes. “We got here a little early to get a table.”
“You both look so nice!” Janine grins from next to her work mother.
You smile at her politely. “You as well.”
“I never really took you for a gym rat, although I suppose I should’ve,” Gregory chuckles. “Damn.”
“Seriously,” Jacob eyes you. “In the most gay way possible, I am looking respectfully.”
“What’s your workout routine?” Gregory asks you.
Happy to talk about anything other than work, you begin to list off the various leg exercises you do. Almost everyone is hanging onto your every word. At least that’s what it looks like. They’re all looking at you like you’re a star- all except the one you want to be looking at you: Melissa. She instead picking at her nails and sipping at her drink. The truth of it is, she is also listening to every word, and she’s beginning to get jealous of the way that everyone is ogling you and your legs. She doesn’t want that to show.
When you’re finished, she bites back a laugh. “Guess we skip arm days?”
“Don’t let the outfit fool you,” you chuckle. “My arms may look small, but they’re defined.”
“Compared to your legs,” she rolls her eyes.
“I could bench you,” you laugh back. “Heels and all.”
“Now that is something that I would love to see,” Barbara chuckles. She ignores the death glare your redheaded coworker sends her way.
“You will not,” Melissa states. “Not in this dress.”
“Maybe I’ll just do some bicep curls with you in my arms then,” you challenge her.
“I doubt you could,” she bites out. “Not with those chicken arms.”
You roll your eyes. “One of these days, you’ll see.”
“Sure I will.”
She continues to push your buttons throughout the night, and with the alcohol that you’ve taken in, she teases you.
“Couldn’t press me now, could you?”
“I could press you up against a wall,” you flirt shamelessly, liquid courage acting as your friend.
Her cheeks turn a violent shade of pink, and you grin.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” you smirk. “I meant that I could squat against the wall and lift you up over my head.”
“That is not what you meant, and you know it,” she scolds you.
You shrug your shoulders innocently. “You’ll never know what I meant, now will you?”
After another round of drinks, she’s still teasing you. You finally decide that you want to put her incessant comments to and end. So, you sweep her off of her feet, heels and all. You make sure that her dress is appropriate before doing a few bicep curls with her in your arms.
She’s stunned, to say the least.
And then, with one little jerk, she’s up over your head. You bring her back down to your arms and hold her there.
“You ready to shut up yet?” you tease her, looking down at her lips.
Her eyes are wide and clearly impressed. She can’t even find the words right now.
“You ready?” you ask again.
She just nods her head, and you set her back down on her feet. You keep an arm around her until she’s found her footing again.
“That was really hot,” Jacob states. You jump slightly, not realizing he was there. “In the least creepy way possible. I had no idea you were that strong.”
“Most people don’t,” you chuckle as you down the rest of your drink. You wink at Melissa as you make your way over to the bar. “I got the next round. Another math-o-rita?”
She nods again as she makes her way back to your table. Barbara is sitting there with a smirk. “She put on quite the show.”
The redhead’s eyes linger on you as you stand at the bar and try to get the attention of the bartender. “Yeah,” she hums noncommittally.
“Girl, when are you just going to ask her out?” the kindergarten teacher asks.
That pulls Melissa out of her trance. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’ve seen the way you stare at her and the pep in your step when your kids have gym,” Barbara snorts. “Even in just her joggers and Abbott sweatshirt. You like her.”
“I mean, yeah… she’s a nice woman,” the second grade teacher tries to brush off her friend’s assumption.
“No, you like her.”
“So what if I do?” Melissa asks as she folds her arms over her chest. “There ain’t no way she would ever like me back.”
“She’s been practically drooling over you since she saw you in your swimsuit earlier today, and she’s currently buying you a drink,” Barbara laughs.
“We’ve bought each other drinks before.”
“But I don’t drool over you in a bathing suit, and I know you don’t drool over me,” the kindergarten teacher snorts. “Just ask her out.”
“Maybe when I’m sober,” Melissa rolls her eyes. 
You start to make your way back over, and the redhead can’t help the way that she watches your hips sway.
“You’re drooling,” Barbara nudges her friend.
“Shut up,” Melissa laughs. She takes the drink that you offer her with a grin. The two of you raise your glasses in a toast before you link arms and chug.
You wipe the liquid that had made its way around your mouth with a chuckle. “Give me twenty minutes, and I’ll still be able to lift ya, no problem.”
You wrap your arm around her waist and squeeze her hip gently, the liquid courage once again taking over.
She blushes, but she quickly gets swept away by Derek, challenging her to yet another math-o-rita chugging challenge.
That leaves you and Barbara sitting at the table together.
“So,” the kindergarten teacher nudges you. “When are you gonna make a move on that redhead you were curling earlier?”
You raise a brow. “What do you mean?”
“When are you gonna ask her out? I heard you tell her you could press her up against a wall, and you and I both know you didn’t mean that in an innocent way,” she chuckles.
You shrug. “Maybe when I’m positive she likes me. I ain’t about to make a fool out of myself and then have to work with her.”
“I think she made it pretty clear she likes you with the way she’s been practically undressing you with her eyes all night,” the kindergarten teacher tells you. 
You laugh. “No she hasn’t.” When she raises a brow and hits you with the trademarked Barbara Howard look, you sigh. “Okay, maybe when we’re both sober… if I can ever work up the nerve.”
“Just give it some thought, sweetheart,” Barb tells you. “Melissa… she’s a tough cookie, but she’s got the biggest heart I know of, and as much as she tries not to, she wears it on her sleeve.”
You nod thoughtfully before smiling. “You think she’d say yes to a date with me?”
“No question,” your colleague tells you.
You think on it for a second, and you go to speak again- to tell Barbara that you might just ask her tonight- when you hear Melissa loudly calling your name.
“Hun! I need a cheerleader so I can absolutely kick Derek’s ass again!”
You look over in her direction and raise a brow, questionably.
“Please, babe!”
Oh, you know she’s so drunk. You can’t ask her out on a date, a serious one, when she’s as hammered as she is. You roll your eyes playfully but saunter over.
She slings an arm around your waist before she gets another drink. Without any hesitation, she chugs the entirety of it before Derek can finish even half of his. You’re impressed to say the least. After she slams down the empty glass to prove she’s finished, she kisses your cheek in celebration.
Not that either of you know it, but Barbara has a video of it.
It’s a bit longer before the two of you finally decide to retire to your rooms for the night… you’re both quite a bit intoxicated, and the redhead practically hangs off of you as you help her down the hall.
Of course, when you go to turn to your own room, she grabs your arm. “Come in?”
“Yeah, I can,” you tell her gently. “Just let me change, and I’ll be over.”
She gives you her best puppy dog eyes, but you insist. “Mel, I really don’t want to be in this dress longer than I have to be.”
“But you look… stunning.”
“While I appreciate the compliment, I would like to get comfortable.”
She relents and turns into her own room. When you knock on her door again, she’s still in her dress though, with the sweetest frown on her face.
“I can’t get out of this,” she tells you. “Stupid zipper.”
You enter her room before spinning her around gently. You unzip it with ease.
“Jeez, take me out on a date before you start undressing me,” she quips teasingly.
You see the opportunity in front of you, and you take it. “How about tomorrow at seven?”
“Only if you show up with those legs out again,” she flirts back.
“It’s a date.”
The two of you spend a few hours chatting and having a few more drinks in her room- beers she brought with her to pre-game before your really do head back to your room to get some much needed sleep.
As you pull the blankets around you, you smile to yourself. You know that she isn’t going to remember you asked her out tonight, but you think that you have the courage to do it again sober now.
The next morning comes, and Melissa comes out of her room with her hood up, sunglasses over her eyes, and she’s drinking Pedialyte through a straw as she wheels her luggage out.
You roll your eyes at her fondly. “Hey there,” you greet her, entirely too perky for her liking at this hour and in her state.
“How are you not dying?” she asks.
You smirk. “I didn’t have a chugging challenge with Derek last night.”
“Eh, worth it to keep my title,” she shrugs.
“You better rally for tonight. You have a date.”
“What?” she lowers her sunglasses so you can see the shock in her eyes.
You smirk. “You have a date… with me.”
The smiles that she breaks out into could light up all of Philly alone. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
With that, you leave her to continue to nurse the hangover for the car ride home with Barbara as you race off to check out of the hotel and head home. You have a date to plan.
Melissa waits down in the lobby for Barbara to finish packing up her weekend bags. When the kindergarten teacher comes over, the redhead, although clearly hungover, is deep in her own thoughts. 
“What’s got you looking like smoke is about to come out of your head this early in the morning?”
“I have a date with Y/N tonight.”
“About damn time,” Barbara smiles. “Let’s get you home so you can nurse that hangover and be ready for her.”
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geminisolstice · 10 months
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pac: your next glow up ★
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(one, two, three, from left to right) ☾ this is a general reading - meaning not everything might apply to you, so please only take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
PICTURE ONE ★
there's been a very limited outlook on life recently that you're slowly starting to get over. you need to realize your potential and stop wallowing in self-pity. is what you're doing truly making you happy? it's time to take a step back and reevaluate everything in your life.
there'll be a sudden creative outburst. maybe you're gonna try out a new hobby that's going to help you move forward in life, maybe you're thinking of a new creative way to make money, etc. i think some of you are gonna start using art as a way to express/cope with your feelings?
confidence! whatever you're going to start doing or whatever change you're going to make in your day-to-day routine, it's going to make you way more confident. the way you present yourself will change and more people will give you the recognition you deserve! other people pointing out your achievements will also give you a sense of self worth. sometimes we don't see what's right infront of us until other people point it out.
overall you'll be in touch with your creative side. more patient, confident, empowered and you feeling comfortable with yourself is going to help other people overcome their insecurities too! don't be afraid to talk about your journey with confidence. give some advice to the ones around you (but don't be overbearing), they'll be thankful (sooner or later haha).
some advice: don't let things stress you out anymore. start meditating, journaling or maybe start working out. try out different things to figure out what helps you release stress in a healthy way.
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PICTURE TWO ★
expanding your horizont. gaining wisdom. hit pause for a second and look at what you have achieved so far. are you satisfied with everything? what would you want to change? look inside of yourself and realize that you are enough.
you need to realize your self worth and you will! you don't even know the impact you have on other people. i think few of you realize that others do look up to you, maybe you're kind of the leader in your friend group, at home, etc. you like being in control and that's good! but you also need to able to let loose. no one's going to think less of you if you suddenly decided to have a bit more fun than you usually do (and even if they do, you shouldn't care).
yeah, that's definitely what i'm getting here. let yourself have fun. let loose! i know education/career is important, but please understand that it is not everything. never let that define you or be the foundation of your character. there's a life outside of hustling, i promise. you're going to break yourself and work or study yourself into a burn out.
i think what you need is a balanced.. routine. between having fun and studying. don't let work/education take over your life, but i don't see you guys fully immersing into the "fuck work i'm going to have fun 24/7" life style and i don't think it's going to something you'd feel comfortable with anyways. this is what i see for you guys. a balanced lifestyle. peace and quiet when you need it. i think you're going to get more inner peace, too.
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PICTURE THREE ★
first things first: i see some of you moving away, whether it's for college, your job, or maybe your entire family is moving. i think what's needed is a change of environment, which will broaden your horizon.
even those of you who are not moving: change is coming your way. it's going to scary for some of you, but this is for the better. think about the outcome. you need to welcome change in your life. stop avoiding conflicts, stop doing this stop doing that stop sabotaging yourself! change can be good. switch up your routine. eat healthy. think about what can help you in the long run.
ground yourself and think about what's really important to you. are your needs met? what's lacking in your life? are/how are you trying to overcompensate for the things you don't have right now? are you maybe suffering from heartbreak, depression or insomnia? it's not hopeless. you're not hopeless. really confront your feelings. that's the only thing i can say, but you need to internalize it. confront your feelings and sit with them. figure them out.
yeah, the glowed up version of you is different, it's welcoming change. positive change. you'll work on yourself, i can see you growing into someone that's confident, hopeful. optimistic, brave even. instead of running away from your problems, you're going to face them. you're going to help other people with what you used to be struggling with. you're going to use all the knowledge you gained to help other people grow!
you're going to look at the person you used to be and realize it was all worth it. change seems scary at first, but remember: it will always work out for you.
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mysterycitrus · 2 months
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the way you write the relationships the batfam have with each other is so delicious to me like AUGHH YOUR BRAIN!!! it’s so good. if you were willing, i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the relationship cass and jason have / steph and jason (staring at you with my big wet eyes)
i havent read much from any of the characters and have seen large parts of fandom say that they would all get along/they’d be so close/besties, so the ideas i’ve read in your works (wolf king and persephone) are very interesting!!
to put it bluntly — i think they’d fucking hate him.
part of that is, weirdly, people tend to devalue tim’s relationships with steph and cass. like, steph and tim have never been normal about each other. cass and tim spent most of the nineties and early aughts jumping back and forth to each other’s comics. in what world would either of them be chill with the guy who hurt him (and damian) like that?
it also flattens cass’s ideology and steph’s history with bruce’s mission. cass has struggled with engaging with murderers because she’s sees them as herself, and their actions as her own actions. she is reflected in each of them, but she ultimately values life above all else which is why her personal connection to the bat is so interesting. she would not have sympathy or time for jason todd, someone who uses bruce’s mission to hurt others, to take lives, and attack the people she loves. like…. please be serious. she would not be hanging out w the person who was happy when bludhaven got nuked.
same deal with steph— something that really annoys me is when people act as though the “bad robin club” would be a bonding moment between steph and jason. not just because steph has a more developed comic run than jason has, with legitimate obstacles to her getting recognised as a hero, but also because again, this guy is doing the same shit as her dad. why would she like him after he went after tim multiple times? whenever someone draws this comparison i think of this page —
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the fact that steph values bruce’s mission, his views on taking a life, despite being at such a profound low point is really important. i can’t believe she’d look at jason and think him admirable.
however!!!! that doesn’t mean their interactions (when reasonably in character imo) can’t be interesting!! having cass and jason interact in persephone was a lot of fun, because making him interact with someone other than bruce or dick puts him off balance. peoples fear of complex relationships with legitimate stakes makes me sad. neither cass or steph have that history with him before death, or that same image of him as a memorial, and it’s a fun thing to explore. specifically this passage from wolf-king —
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like yeah!! neither of them would fuck with him!!! let him be the unpopular brother!!
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