#so u know he shone like a motherfucker
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pretty please write another chapter of nightmare academia!! /nf
your writing is so good!!
♥ Summary: thank you!! here u go!! In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, Reid fixes your mistakes and you get all blushy about it.
♥ Warnings: a minor character deals with intrusive thoughts and self-worth issues. also, implications of gambling and mentions of sex
♥ A/N: yay, chapter complete! now if spencer could come and tell me that i'm better than my intrusive thoughts, that would be great <3
♥ Word Count: 1,970
Series Masterlist
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Spencer was having an okay sort of day. Yes, it was a Monday, but despite all that, things had gone somewhat well. His classes had passed by smoothly, his students had asked all the right questions, and the heat in the building had come back on. The terrible cursed image you had set as his desktop screen seemed less cursed today, and none of his belongings had mysteriously disappeared, only to return later somewhere on your person.
Was it weird that he missed his belongings disappearing mysteriously, only to return later somewhere on your person?
Reid pondered that as he sat in his last class of the day. His students were discussing a new concept amongst themselves in the last few minutes, so he definitely had the time- until he didn’t. Before he could reach any epiphany, Spencer’s phone buzzed, vibrating so hard that it made the man jump.
In an instant, every eye in the room was on Spencer Reid, shocked and delighted that the notoriously technophobic professor’s phone was vibrating away during class. Spencer felt like he was twelve again. At least now, as a grown man and professor, he could dismiss the goddamned class.
He pretended he couldn’t feel their eyes on him as they filed out of the room- they weren’t judging him. Sometimes phones go BZZZZZZZZT in the middle of class, life’s just like that sometimes. No, his students were all starting with one specific thought on their minds.
“Whatever message that is, it’s 100% from Professor (L/N).”
And I mean. They weren’t wrong. A text from you shone out from Spencer’s phone, begging to be read.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): hey nerd, is there a paper on fight club in our office?
Before Spencer could respond, another little text bubble appeared on his screen.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): the book, not the movie
(L/N) (The Nuisance): actually, it’s kind of both? Nvm, just lmk if you see it
Spencer sighed, picked up his bag, and headed off to your shared office. He knew the paper you were talking about. It was the odd man out amongst papers about the criminalization of sex workers and the morals (or lack thereof) behind the war on drugs. In other words, it wasn’t something you or Reid would have assigned for a college class. It belonged to one of your GED students- so, when Spencer saw the paper sitting on the desk the previous Friday, he figured he’d leave it. You’d grab it, and you’d take it home, and that would be the end of it.
Now, Spencer was on a mission to get that paper back to you.
He was also on a mission to figure out what the fuck you were talking about.
A short ways away, at the community center, your phone buzzed.
Annoying Motherfucker: I know which paper you’re talking about. Would you like me to bring it over?
You had just enough time to fire off a, “Yes, please, thank,” before you turned back to the student whose paper you had so rudely lost.
“Okay, the paper is in my office, my coworker is bringing it over now.”
The student in front of you- a tall young man, Adam- remained silent. He only responded when you said his name.
“Tell ‘em to leave it.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I think this is a sign. The universe is telling me I’m not cut out for this. I’m not-” he cut himself off, turning away from you in shame.
“Hey, hey, look at me. You are cut out for this. Your paper was fantastic, I just-”
“You’re telling me my paper was so fantastic that you forgot it at your day job? That’s bullshit. Just be honest with me, Doctor. It wasn’t a good paper.”
“No- Adam, please, it was a fantastic paper. I left it in my office, yes, but that’s all on me. I’ll be honest, I might be a professor, but I’m kind of stupid-”
“If you’re kind of stupid, then what hope do I have? What am I supposed to do?”
You let out a small, sad breath, “You have all the hope in the world. You just have to keep trying.”
“Is that what you did? You tried?”
“I tried, yes. And I’ll be honest, I got lucky. I got scholarships and awards, but I had to try for them. You can do the same. You have potential. You have promise. You can-”
“Don’t tell me I can do anything I set my mind to. My parole officer told me that two days before my last arrest. It’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. And you don’t know-”
“You’re right,” you sighed, leaning back against your desk, “I don’t know. I’ll never know your life, what it’s like to be you. But I know that you can accomplish great things. You’re smart, Adam. You have a great mind, you just-”
“My great mind told me to drive through the front door today.”
You froze. Adam continued.
“My great mind tells me to do awful, awful things. I spend half of my time fighting off those thoughts. What good am I, what can I accomplish if I have those bad fucking thoughts all the goddamned time?”
“Hey, hey,” you tried to soothe the man in front of you as he got louder and angrier- not at you, but at himself.
“And it’s not like I can say I know I won’t act on them. I have acted on them. That’s why I’m here, with you, in a community center getting my fucking GED. That’s why I was in prison, that’s why I’ll never be good at anything but being what I am now.”
You were already frozen, but somehow, you managed to freeze again- not because of Adam’s words, but because you could see Spencer’s face in the doorway.
You stood up straighter, instantly on edge. You weren’t sure how much of the conversation he had heard. You didn’t know if he would find something incriminating in Adam’s intrusive thoughts. You put yourself between the two.
“Hi, Reid. Do you have the paper?”
“I do. And I have to say, I’ve never seen Fight Club, but this is a fantastic analysis. Whoever wrote it clearly has a mind for the literary arts- and for the art of film.”
Your eyes widened slightly- of course, you knew that it was a fantastic analysis. You had complimented Adam on his work minutes before. You just weren’t sure what Spencer was about to do.
“If I may,” he stepped to your side so he could speak to Adam directly, “I kind of know what it’s like- to have bad thoughts that you can’t control.”
“Are you shitting me?” Adam asked, though his question was quiet. It was almost as if he was speaking to himself, asking who the fuck this spindly nerd was and why the fuck this spindly nerd was talking to him.
Honestly? You had similar questions.
Disregarding both of you, Spencer continued.
“The important thing to acknowledge is that there are no such things as good or bad thoughts. There are only good and bad actions. I can’t tell you that what you’ve done doesn’t matter. It does. But what matters more is what you’re going to do about it- what matters more is trying to be better. And this? Getting your diploma? That matters. That’s good.”
Spencer handed the paper over to Adam, “Hey, once you get your GED, let me know, okay? Dr. (L/N) will tell you where you can find me. I know a few people who could use literary analysis like yours.”
Before Adam could respond, Spencer had turned and started for the door. Before he left, he spared you a wave. You were too shocked to wave back.
Spencer left silence behind. You and Adam stood in the thick of it for a few moments. In those moments, a blush began to burn beneath the skin of your cheeks. Your heart jumped in your chest, playing a beat that was a little too fast. Surely, this meant nothing.
In those moments, Adam looked down at the paper in his hands. He read the little comments you had left in green pen.
After a few minutes, he looked up. He didn’t turn to face you just yet, but that didn’t stop you from seeing the grin lighting up his entire face.
“Shit, man. You really did like my analysis, huh?”
“I told you. I loved it.”
“Yeah, well,” Adam’s gaze returned to the pages in his hands. He flipped through for a second before barking out a laugh, “You spelled ‘artful’ wrong. You added an extra ‘L.’”
“Did I?” You asked, closing the space between you to peek at your own error, “Shit. Well, like I said, I’m kinda stupid. I’m pretty much a fraud. That guy, though? The skinny guy with the facts? He worked to get to where he is. He tried. We just have to do the same thing, and hopefully, things will get better.”
“Maybe. It’s, uh. I guess I have no choice but to try, huh?”
“I guess not,” you shrugged and smiled at Adam before stepping back towards your desk.
Adam fell silent, looking between you and the empty doorway for a good minute before he spoke again, “So, that was your coworker?”
“Mhmm. Yep, that’s the guy.”
“Dr. Reid, right?”
You raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, actually. You’ve heard of him somewhere?”
“From Missy, actually… Fuck, I think I owe her a fifty now. Shit.”
If you had been drinking something at that moment, you would’ve choked on it.
“Anyway, thanks Doc! I’ll see ya next week!”
Adam trotted out the door, all grins, not noticing how strangled your, “See you next week!” sounded.
-
Later that night, in the confines of your cozy and un-haunted apartment, you sent a text. Somewhere else, in his cozy and un-haunted apartment, Spencer’s phone buzzed.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): thank you, Spencer
(L/N) (The Nuisance): seriously. i owe you one
Annoying Motherfucker: Don’t mention it. I kind of understand where Adam was coming from, it wasn’t hard for me to say something nice.
You huffed.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): you have a hard time being nice to me!!
(L/N) (The Nuisance): usually
(L/N) (The Nuisance): today was an exception… but srsly, i owe you a favour
Annoying Motherfucker: And I am telling you, you are “srsly” fine.
You smiled down at your phone for a second before you turned off the screen and placed it down beside you.
And almost immediately, that fucker went BZZZZZZZZT.
Annoying Motherfucker: Actually, quick question- what does “nvm” mean? Also, what does “lmk” mean?
You couldn’t hold back your laugh.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): you seriously don’t know??? you knew what srsly meant, are you telling me you don’t know lmk???
Annoying Motherfucker: …
Annoying Motherfucker: *Thanks. You said “thank” earlier and it was bothering me.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): omg
Annoying Motherfucker: Hey! I know that one!
You let out a wheeze.
(L/N) (The Nuisance): you’re fucking adorable
(L/N) (The Nuisance): ok pretty boy, let me explain internet acronyms
Spencer wouldn’t tell you that he vaguely knew what “nvm” and “lmk” meant. He’d worked with Penelope Garcia for several years, he had to know. He just let you talk to him, texting away into the night.
Somewhere else in town, Adam handed Missy fifty dollars- and she promptly handed half of it to Frank. Frank then split the money with the woman sitting next to him, and so on and so forth until it was well and truly established that everyone in the place 1) knew about the infamous professors and their rivalry, and 2) wanted those professors to stop fighting and fuck already.
♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @currentfications, @ilse235, @emagen, @foolishwaitersblog, @pleasantwitchgarden if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know :D
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x gn!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#x reader#nightmare academia
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was tagged by @sandovers to do this meme; when u get this u have to put 5 songs 🎵 u actually listen to, publicly. then, send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ✨ LIKE JACQUI I am baffled by the wording of the meme -- are you trying to suss out Musik Sekrits and not the cool stuff everyone says they listen to all the time? alas, I am always happy to prove I'm the living fulfillment of the old don't-hand-the-trans-folk-the-aux-under-any-circumstances stereotype. anyway here's five songs I've been listening to a lot lately, some new to me, some old.
"So Pale It Shone In The Night" - The Stranger. this is from his album Watching Dead Empires in Decay which I see as a sort of urban mirror to the unsettling rural soundscapes of prior album Bleaklow. you may also know the Stranger from his work as the Caretaker, where he plays a lot with memory and sense of place. I've been cycling around on a lot of half-formed thoughts about dying empires (huh, wonder why) and industry towns after the industry's left and cities and memory lately and this track sounds like -- waking up, or trying to fall asleep, in a thin-walled apartment in a massive apartment block, and the sounds of furnaces, of neighbours moving about, doing dishes, putting the kettle on, radio static, the traffic and the trains outside, all these sounds blur together, the sounds of life, but weary and a little melancholy. anyway I'm obsessed with this entire album but this vivid and tactile little soundscape is one of my chief delights at the moment.
"Are You Going to Leave Me?" - Isobel Campbell. old favourite song from an old favourite album, this arrangement of a traditional ballad that's zigzagged back and forth from the UK to Appalachia for centuries builds layer upon layer, verse after verse, in a way that's incredibly driving and haunting.
"gec 2 Ü" - 100 gecs. feels like every six months a different 100 gecs song I hadn't paid individual attention to before completely takes over my psyche and I listen to it on repeat for hours. love the way this plays with melodramatic glittery early 2000s style ballad format, like Angels and Airwaves crossed with a 90s chanteuse, similar to "xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx" but less eerie, warping and toying with the sound, just detached enough to be a little arch and playful, and then breaks into one of the most wrenchingly sincere and tender refrains I've ever heard. "you're sitting all alone / and you call me on the phone / and you say, I need love / can you get to me now?" I get shivers and my chest aches. yeah. that's what it's like.
"Walk Like A Motherfucker" - Ghost Funk Orchestra. I listen to this a lot on the walk to work, even though it is about being a sleazy con man who is maybe beginning to weary of the grift, and all I do is sell groceries for Jeff Be-- WAIT A MINUTE. anyway, Ghost Funk Orchestra is one of my favourite recent discoveries -- for one, they actually deliver on the vibes promise inherent in the name, and I've been burned by so many bands with cool names promising a specific weird and chewy atmosphere they don't bother to actually create. absolutely great spectral, jammable funk. also while the band is not local, their record label is run out of an old favourite record shop in Loveland, Ohio, whose catalogue Corey and I have been plumbing excitedly since we found out about them last month.
"Myth" - Julie Feeney. I rediscovered this album I used to listen to a lot in 2011 last year when I was going through my old last.fm stats (YEAH BABY) trying to find a couple of obscure lost favourites. it is! so infectious! anyway this song came up on shuffle recently and reminded me about Julie Feeney once again and now I keep returning to it. this feels like watching a creek bubble up, wildly playful and inventive, skipping stones, spinning dizzily, whispering secrets.
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deadass Just dreamed about congressman Vernon why am i like this
#stop literally why is my mind like this jdnwkdjekd#he was talkin abt like. racism and sexism and u know he got a bitch WHIPPED#he was like we gotta make our workspaces less sexist!!#and i was like yooooooooo🗣️🗣️🗣️⚠️⚠️‼️‼️❗❗❗❗💯💯#anyways he was elected along w this odd but cute plant lady#and this weird greasy married old guy who had just had a sex scandal#so u know he shone like a motherfucker#anyways jt was just ao funny like why. did my brain think#it was okay to give me visions of hansol on a giant screen#talking about indigenous people's rights like 🤧🤧#also he was like. the same age as irl and i don't think ur even allowed#to become A congressman at that age kskdkkekddk#mari.txt#dreams
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hii i discovered ur blog yesterday and i love it 👀!!! idk if uve done this before but im interested in what u think about mitunas personality, and also how he was before the incident (and what the incident was cause canon is super vague and cryptic??). i don't know a lot about brain damage and how that can look in people just that there's more than one possible way so i'm also curious how to handle that from a writer's perspective (like, besides the obvious of not infantilizing him like everyone else seems to do for some fucking reason)
Hi there!!!! I’m so glad you’re liking the blog so far! It’s pretty recent, and I’m honestly surprised at the reception so far! I wasn’t really expecting much of anything!!!!
Those are ABSOLUTELY things I can discuss! Mituna is actually one of my top favorite characters, so I’m really, really glad you’ve asked!! Due to this being a multi-part question, it’s going to be really, REALLY long, so let’s start this off with a read-more!
[Cracks knuckles]
Regarding your first inquiry, of my thoughts on Mituna’s personality-
One thing I’ve noticed that people typically fail to keep in mind is that Mituna is absolutely a Captor. It’s a trend I have noticed for years, and it is a damn unfortunate one! Traits that are most often beloved aspects of Sollux’s personality are also relevant to Mituna’s personality. Let’s be real with ourselves for a moment- Mituna is the funniest motherfucker in the (remnants of the) Alpha Troll Session by a long shot. Let me list out some traits of his, because it is definitely worthy of getting a spotlight shone on it.
Mituna has a penchant for sarcasm and employs it regularly. A great example of this is the moment where Cronus said to Mituna that he was going to fake another suicide attempt for sympathy points (his words, not mine!,) and Mituna essentially replied “How about you try that out on me?” Cronus does so, and Mituna’s immediate response to it is going “Woah, let’s fuck!!!!,” which is IMMEDIATELY shown to be completely, obviously sarcastic. Mituna, to Cronus’s face, calls him a “fucking idiot” for even for a second thinking it’s genuine.
A fun trait to notice, playing through his OpenBound- Mituna is actually pretty self-aware! Especially in regards to his own clumsiness. Keep a track of times he mentions skating. He keeps making up different names for his skateboard specifically to poke fun at himself. A personal favorite of mine is (paraphrased,) “Rad-ass fall down slat.” We know he’s just making up words, because when he’s talking to himself, he literally just calls it a skateboard.
Sex jokes. So many fucking sex jokes. What else did we expect of the man who’s first name literally just means sex? Which, mind you, isn’t even a joke! His name is derived from the word Maithuna. His name means sex. He makes sex puns. He isn’t innocent, he’s not clueless regarding sexuality. I’ll hazard a guess that he’s done plenty of it, considering it’s been 1,000 years and he is in a relationship. Sex puns wherever applicable. They’re funny as hell. It’s awesome. #Spornts.
Mituna is kind of a flirt! Sure, he’s mostly joking, but jokingly flirting still shows that the person knows how to flirt in some capacity and will do so. Some of the lines were kinda smooth, in my opinion. It’s actually hilarious. Personal favorite is in one of his interactions with Meenah, where she asks “What will you grind on,” in relation to skating, and he replies, smugly, “I volunteer... that thing to be... You.” Like, you know what, let’s give him some points there. He stuck that fucking landing. That’s really funny.
While Mituna is a pessimist, and he can come across as a bit abrasive if you aren’t used to him, we do know that he’s actually pretty nice to his friends, and when he feels the impulse to be kind. (I separate the two because I’ll be damned before I call Cronus Mituna’s friend.) It’s something to keep an eye out for, but a good example is his brief interaction with Kurloz, and... You know, the concentrated implications behind the fact that he’s been able to hold a steady, loving romantic relationship for over 1,000 years. With a freakin’ Knight of Mind. The man’s probably a damn good boyfriend. At least in his own way.
I could say more, but we’d be here all day, and some things are better left to either later parts of this essay or entirely separate essays.
———————
Regarding your second inquiry, of how I see Mituna’s personality prior to the Great Act of Heroism-
Alright, okay... This is going to be a bit of a hot take.
I do not think pre-incident Mituna was all that different than he is now.
Not at all. No. I think his brain injury destabilized him mentally in the way brain injuries tend to do, and I think that subsequently pushed his personality to some extremes, but I don’t think he’s all that different in any which way. The core of his personality is the same. The way his brain works changed, not who he is at his core.
Think of it like this- Say you’re an artist, and you mess up the nerves on your hand or injure it badly. It might work a little differently after- unable to sense certain things, maybe even not as flexible as it used to be. Maybe you can’t use it as long as you used to be able to without it hurting, but it’s still a hand. It’s still your hand. It’s the same as it always was at it’s core, it just works a little differently now, and you have some extra limitations to you. They might be annoying at first, and it might even make you a little sad sometimes, but it’s still your hand.
Now consider this- if everyone around you kept making comments about your nerve damage/injury, and the new limitations you have to work with, which you are probably already stressed and/or insecure about... Constantly comparing your old capabilities to your new ones, calling you broken even if in polite wording, saying your work just isn’t the same after it all... And essentially blaming you for everything. Always stressing they prefer “the old you” over “the new one”... Wouldn’t that be really fucked up of them?
Yeah.
That’s basically just how he’s been treated. Except, like... The way he’s been treated is so much worse. Both in the sense of canon, and how the fandom handles him.
I think about pre-incident Mituna very little. It comes up in my thoughts every now and then, but it’s fleeting. It’s something worth thinking about, yes, but more often than not people will just use that stage of his character to either- not trying to be rude- basically just make an OC bearing his name, or make him more palatable. And I’m not a huge fan of that, to be blunt. I’m not a very big fan of comparing befores and afters on the topic of disability. Character exploration is good, yes, but I’ve only really seen one well done depiction of pre-incident Mituna.
With that said, check out Befriendus! I absolutely LOVE that interpretation of pre-incident Mituna. One of my favorite ideas that came of it was them making Mituna psychotic. Actually pretty good representation, in my opinion! Made me really happy! 10/10.
———————
Regarding your third inquiry, of what I personally think the Great Act of Heroism was-
Ohhh, yes. This old doozy. There’s several ways to interpret it! But there’s one core thing you have to keep in mind when speculating-
The only person there to witness the Great Act of Heroism was Kurloz. And he refuses to say a word about it.
How fucking suspicious is that, am I right? Especially since we know Kurloz uses his quadrantmates like puppets. Double especially since we know Kurloz is capable of mind control, and said mind control causes lapses in memory.
I will admit, that second part is added there for flavor. I don’t think I believe Kurloz mind controlled Mituna into doing something actually horrible in that moment- but it’s not fully out of the question. I also just wanted to remind people that Kurloz literally does mind control Mituna in canon.
I subscribe to (a slightly edited version of) the classic theory, dubbed All Trolls Go God-Tier: The Mituna Method, by Tumblr user bladekindeyewear, that Mituna straight up fucking yeeted Prospit with his mind and caused a universal domino effect that made god tiering possible for all. Give it a read, it’s awesome!
I really could go into what I think might have happened within the Alpha Troll Ssssion one day, vis-a-vis the Great Act of Heroism. One day!!!
———————
Regarding your final inquiry, of how Mituna’s brain damage manifests and how to tackle that from a writing perspective-
Research, research, research!
In my opinion, the best place to start is studying frontal lobe damage in particular, because that seems to be what he’s mostly based on. I am by no means an expert on brain damage, mind you, so this is advice to take with a grain of salt. I am writing from the perspective of someone who knows some things from study, not as someone who is an expert on traumatic brain injuries.
With that aside... The ways it seems to manifest in Mituna, at least from what I can see, are interesting. It also makes how his peers treat him, and how the fandom handles him, all the more frustrating.
Five hugely noticeable ways it shows up are poor impulse control, impairment of motor skills, trouble handling complex tasks, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty communicating “properly.”
Mituna, by all accounts, has zero filter. He acts inappropriately at times, and reacts inappropriately at times. He seems to just say whatever appears on the top of his mind with not much regard for consequences until he is met with them. This is absolutely a trait that could get him in a fair amount of trouble, but it’s also a neutral trait to have. Hell, you could absolutely boil his attempt at committing public indecency down to just him not having any impulse control. You could also boil his attempts at being nice to Cronus as a lack of impulse control.
Impairment of motor skills is decently self explanatory, and it’s even something that’s joked about a lot whether people realize it or not. His impaired motor skills is what’s making him clumsy, and is most likely why his typing quirk has so many typos.
His trouble with handling complex tasks is also something that was joked about regularly. Remember how he couldn’t figure out how to take off his clothes? While on the surface that’s genuinely fucking hilarious because even I can’t figure out how that thing works, because it’s a skin tight latex jumpsuit with no visible zipper... But then you realize having difficulty getting dressed and undressed is actually pretty common amongst people with brain damage. And suddenly it’s less just a joke about how his clothing choice is weird and he’s an idiot that can’t figure out how to take his clothes off, and more like... He literally just has brain damage. He’s not stupid, he’s just struggling. He’s only been read as stupid because people haven’t taken the time to realize that getting dressed and undressed is honestly a pretty complex task. For emphasis, next time you get fully dressed, start actively thinking about and counting the amount of steps it takes to do so. Include everything. It’s so complicated.
Emotional dysregulation is... Also self explanatory, though now it ties into his already existing mood disorder. Mituna is bipolar. There’s no dancing around that. And the TBI made his mood swings worse. Hell, the environment he’s in might be making it worse, too! People are just complete and total dicks to him because they can be. But... That’s besides the point. He doesn’t have much in the way of emotional stability, that much is obvious, and I don’t have to spoon feed it to you. That would just be patronizing, probably.
(Warning for direct discussion of assault coming up. It’s Cronus. What did anyone expect?)
Difficulty communicating “properly”... Oh boy, is this a thin rope to walk, but man is it a necessary one. Let me start this off by saying he is very much so capable of communicating with people clearly. We have SEEN him communicate with people very clearly. When Cronus was... basically just straight up on-screen assaulting Mituna, Mituna kept VERY CLEARLY telling him to stop, that he does not want Cronus to touch him, and that he “does not want [his] hand there.” Several times he voiced his nonconsent, he was very clear about it. He is capable of communicating clearly. But nonetheless, his communication skills are impaired. He can be a tad difficult to understand at times, and he sometimes throws in words that aren’t supposed to be there. Prime example coming to mind is also from the assault scene- “I want that your hand to not be on my body please” is very much so a coherent sentence, but it’s just a bit stilted. There’s also the fact that he has difficulty recounting things to people, which very well could be related.
There’s a lot of other avenues you could take regarding it, though! And I do recommend research above all else. I’m just a guy on the Internet.
———————
Overall, the way Mituna’s character has been largely handled by the fandom is bizzare to me. All things aside, he’s literally just some guy. He’s just standing there, minding his own business, and some people just really, really hate the fact that he has symptoms. You can write Mituna in a way that feels more realistic. That’s fine and dandy. But if symptoms of brain damage as a whole are what is unpalatable to you, you’re probably an ass.
The symptoms he has aren’t inherently bad. They aren’t inherently good, either. It’s neutral, and it’s situational. What fucks me up is that people have this tendency to cringe and look away because his symptoms aren’t inherently pretty or relatable. So, they pretty him up.
There’s zero reason to infantilize Mituna that doesn’t involve ableism in some way. He’s just some greasy 4Channer skater dude who wants to make music and draw. He’s just vibing, bro.
#thank you for the question!#hope this wasn’t too rambly or meandering#adhd. you know how it is#homestuck#homestuck analysis#homestuck fandom#alpha trolls#dancestors#beforans#beforan trolls#mituna#mituna captor#meenah peixes#kurloz makara#cronus ampora#mituna.pdf#cw assault#nekro.sms#nekro.pdf
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Would love to see an inevitable interaction between Lucius’ husband and boyfriend. A shared google calendar mix up if u will.
(oh absolutely! Hope this works for you!)
The movie started at seven and Izzy got online at six-fifty to get tickets. Unusually, there was no sign of Lucius, who usually arrived five minutes early to use the bathroom, then loiter around the front waiting for him. Man had the bladder the size of a walnut sometimes.
“Oh come on,” a man behind him sighed. Izzy glanced over his shoulder, then echoed the sigh.
“Said theater at 7 for me,” Izzy got out his phone. Pete took his out of his pocket too. “Could’ve sworn it was in green.”
“Yeah, green AND purple, look.” Pete tilted his screen to him. “But no red.”
“Did he manage to schedule us both on a date without him?” Izzy frowned. “This gallery show is killing him.”
“I know!” Pete started texting and Izzy let him take the wheel on that. “I keep telling him that there’s not much more he can do at this point, but he keeps sending emails. The curator is going to murder him.”
“Wasn’t exactly looking forward to this one anyway.” It was some Oscar bait bullshit and Izzy had only agreed because Lucius secretly hated films he thought he was supposed to like and would inevitably be hysterically cutting about the whole thing.
“I like Decaprio,” Pete shrugged.
Both their phones pinged.
Lucius: sorry! Make it up to both of you soon. At the gallery tonight.
“Guess neither of us had plans,” Pete shook his head. “Wanna get a beer?”
“Seriously?”
“Why not?”
And Izzy didn’t actually have a good response to that and a beer did sound better than just going straight home again. Turned out that Pete knew of a nearby brewery that had a decent stout on tap..
“Hate IPAs,” Izzy held the dark liquid up to the light, pleased when nothing shone through.
“Wheaty bullshit,” Pete agreed.
It really only took about three sips of beer to start comparing notes. Izzy would like to think he’d need to get drunk for such gossip, but apparently Lucius, as ever, was an exception. Even in absentia.
“Has he been waking up in the middle of the night with you too?” Pete ventured.
“Yeah, driving me nuts. Keeps trying to be quiet and sounds like a herd of elephants. One squeaky board in the whole apartment, steps on it every time.”
“Then he apologizes when he bumps into something.”
“Like my end table gives a shit.”
Two beers in and Pete looked around like Lucius might appear at any second before asking,
“You know that sound he makes when he eats something he really likes?”
“...painfully familiar.”
“It’s a sex noise, right? Every time, I think I heard it wrong, but he definitely makes sex noises at food.”
“It’s distracting,” Izzy agreed. It was a weird kind of relief for someone else to acknowledge those intimate things. “Like when he bites his knuckle when he’s stuck on something he’s working on.”
“Ooooh yeah, absolutely,” Pete took a long drink. “Or when he gets off a good line and he looks at you to make sure you got it.”
“Like I’m already laughing, motherfucker, what do you want? A ticker tape parade?”
Another beer and they actually moved on from Lucius. Pete had a lot of stories about his days before drag that he was happy to relate to a fresh set of ears. Izzy, long trained to listen to long bullshit brags, felt very at home with that.
Pete’s phone pinged and he pulled it out, then huffed a laugh, “He wants to know where I am. Guess he managed to get home. Hey, smile!”
“No,” Izzy just took a drink when Pete snapped a picture.
It took about ten seconds for Izzy’s phone to ping.
Lucius: You better be playing nice.
Izzy: We’re just talking shit. Beer is good.
Lucius: You would like that motor oil. Sorry again about tonight. This’ll all be over next week. Just get him home before midnight. He turns into a pumpkin.
Izzy: Got it. You going to get some sleep?
Lucius: Yep. So are you. No staying up late with paperwork. Finish reading that book instead. Love you.
Izzy: Got it.
“All right?” Pete checked.
“Yeah,” he tucked the phone back in his pocket. He didn’t know how Lucius managed to do it over the phone, half-dead on his feet, but one command, a silly one at that, just settled him in his skin. “You?”
“Probably should call it,” Pete admitted. “Finish out the round and head out.”
It was only once Izzy was back home, under Lucius’ blanket that he realized he’d enjoyed himself. Well, maybe the whole enemy of my enemy thing worked with lovers too.
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hello please may i request the batboys proposing to their s/o 🥺 those marriage hcs were real cute and they just got me thinking u know. thank u 🖤
How The Batfam Prosposes To Their S/O HC
ofc! thank you! check out the marriage hc HERE! this req is beyond adorable and i tried to live up to the cuteness 🥰
Dick Grayson:
- dick would be SO EXTRA dude
- he'd get all your loved ones, family, friends etc and bundle up his whole family and have them waiting to suprise you
- he seems like a proposing on your anniversary so you don't expect it guys
- if you're down for slightly public stuff he'd take you to a theme park like disneyland and you'd both spend the day with your loved ones watching tim and dami bicker over the fastest way to get to the most rides or your best friend totally simping over jason and him flirting like a motherfucker, hand in hand with dick, just happy that there's finally a perfect day where everyone is together
- imagine going up on a huge rollercoaster and dick whispering all his favorite moments with you as the cart ticks up a massive hill
- then right before the drop, dick turns to you, "what i'm really asking is: marry me y/n" and the ride drops, you screaming yes as you zoom down the massive hill and do loop de loops, your happy tears flying all over the place
- the picture they take when you drop shows you cry-screaming while dick grins like an idiot
- getting off the ride dick's brothers and your loved ones are bouncing off the walls "WHAT DID YOU SAY" y/b/f screeched as soon as you come out from the ride
- with one hand you held up the printed picture of you screaming with "she said yes!" written on the top and with the other hand you held up a brand new, gorgeous ring siting snuggly on your finger
- the rest of the day is spent hand in hand with dick, you keep walking around saying "look how pretty my ring looks next to this!" or "WAIT LET ME TAKE A PICTURE WITH MY HAND OUT" and you both get tons of adorable candid photos with various disneyland/theme parks places and items that you'll be treasuring forever
Jason Todd:
- texting jason that your boss suprisingly let your team off work a couple hours early you both made plans to meet at home for dinner together and a night in, a rarity recently with how busy you were finishing school and having a job while he had red hood duties
- coming back to your shared home there were rose petals trailing you into your bedroom, and a huge paper screen blocking you from seeing the kitchen or your dining room, but you wanted to let jason have his fun so you followed the petals
- on your bed was the outfit that makes you feel like a hot bitch and a note saying "hey angel, put this on then open the laptop" and you complied
- as soon as you put in your login a video titled "to the love of my life" which was pretty sappy for jason, but you clicked anyway
- a roughly edited video shows jason sitting down, his cheeks slightly tear stained as he says "y/n i've loved you with everything and more, more than i ever knew was possible. you taught me i deserved to be loved and you showed me how to live life to the fullest" as he continued you felt tears start to brim, jason was always more of an actions guy so these words meant everything to you
- the video was so intensely personal it had you openly crying at the end when jason smiled at the camera "hey love, you're probably crying right now - i know that because i love you beautiful. so, care to come back outside now?" the video ended and you got up, realizing what was about to happen
- at the end of your hallway was jason, dressed in a suit, his cheeks stained with tears like yours, holding out his hand for you
- trying not to fall apart you stumbled into his embrace while he kissed your head, pushing you back slightly to get on one knee with a cheesy grin
- "i didn't think i'd ever get to do this, you know i always think in the negative, but with you everything is good. so be my good, forever. be my better half, my favorite thing, my home, my girl, forever. marry me y/n" unable to speak through all the flooding emotions you just nodded, letting out an excited squeak as jason grabbed your hand, sliding a ring on the finger
- leading you into the dining room jason had whipped out his expert chef skills and made an amazing dinner, and the two of you spent the night reminiscing on old memories, hoping for amazing future moments, and just relaxing in each other's embrace
Tim Drake:
- tim is not smooth let's be real, and when you've been with him for all those years he physically cannot keep a secret from you so you knew something was up when he actually set aside 5 hours for a date night, uninterrupted
- it took about 3 tries to get dick to break and admit tim was planning on proposing that night, you expected it soon, neither of you were big on suprise public moments and were super open in communicating and had both agreed that this year was the best to finally get engaged, tim always wanted to make you feel safe and this would be no different so you weren't worried
- taking careful notice to apply only waterproof mascara you were ready for a tear filled night with the love of your life
- during the fancy dinner you were jittery and excited waiting for a ring in your pasta or a note under your napkin, but nothing, and tim was acting normal as ever, making you think he'd aborted the mission
- it was always fun having a private dinner with tim, he loved to rent out the roof of gotham building and gettting a private dinner served on top of the world, making you feel like the only person in the world
- as you finished cracking jokes, telling stories, and overall just loving each other's presence you got up and went to head down when tim grabbed your hand, pulling you into a hug whispering "ready for a little suprise my love?" while your breath caught in your chest as almost on cue a helicopter landed on the other side of the top of the building
- wind whipping around tim kept your hand in his, helping you in and securing you, putting on your headset and giving your cheek a quick peck 
- as the helicopter took off you saw gotham from god's eye view, watching as it got smaller, melting into the last few rays of sunlight, tim gave your hand a squeeze as he said "the view's almost as pretty as you y'know" with your favorite cheesy grin
- as the helicopter turned giving you a perfect view of the setting sun tim began his speech, pulling your hands into his, "y/n through every up and down you've been there, i always thought i wasn't wanted until i met you and i can never repay you for everything you've taught me, i'd give you the world if i could, but i think the next best thing is giving you me. in every moment i promise to be yours, your sidekick, your partner in crime, your secret keeper, and your lover. i will always be yours, no matter what. and tonight i'm asking you to be mine, will you marry me y/n?"
- you nodded vigorously as tim pulled out a velvet box, opening to take out a beautiful ring, slipping it on your finger while you pushed away tears
- the helicopter dropped you both off outside of gotham at one of jason's safe houses that tim had transformed into a little one night home, and it was far enough outside of gotham that you could see the stars, laying on the roof as tim listed off various constellations and you both whispered about your future together, hand in hand with your other half for the rest of your life
Damian Wayne:
- when damian told dick his plan to just ask you to marry him during patrol he got a whole lecture about the importance of making it a memorable moment and blah blah blah so damian really wanted to live up to this "life changing moment" where he's not even marrying you just asking you as if after all these years you'd suddenly say no
- so that's how you ended up packed into one of bruce's cars with titus and damiwn driving to a supposedly beautiful hiking trail
- you were genuinely concerned for damians mental health because every time there was traffic or titus needing a rest stop he looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel
- once there the hike was serene, the three of you trekking up a beautiful mountain surrounded by the fresh air
- during a particularly sweaty patch you lazily took off your shirt, hoping to get a little cooler, you normally trained in a sports bra and leggings anyway so it wasn't weird until damian refused to take his shirt off too. as you and titus sprinted forwards you teased dami "love bird i can see you sweating cmon!" but he continued to refuse and you let it go
- you'd both slowed down to a walking pace as you rounded to the top of the mountain, the view was beyond beautiful and you plopped down on the crest of the mountain, using damians lap as a pillow while titus sprawled across the both of you
- as damian mindlessly played with your hair, lightly tugging it as he stayed deep in thought you took a moment to really appriciate your boyfriend
- he's eyes shone and his jawline was slightly hardened in a way that shows he was busy in thought, your eyes traced down from his perfect lips to his neck, where you noticed a thin white string hanging around his neck slipping down behind his shirt. without thinking, and before dami could react, you tugged the string out of his shirt, a golden band with a perfect diamond met your eyes before damian could stop you from seeing it
- "d-damian is that what i think it is" you whispered, sitting up to face him while he blushed
- "beloved, i was trying to think of the words to say but you're always three steps ahead of me aren't you" he whispered, untying the string with ease and slipping the ring off of the string, he stared at the ring unable to make eye contact with you "everything i do is for you my love, and though i don't quite understand why cementing it in the eyes of a government is important, if it means i can love you for my entire life i will do anything. so please my love, my best friend, my favorite girl, marry me beloved" he finished, swallowing harshly to fight back the rogue feeling to cry
- you did not hold back. letting tears slip out while he put the ring on your finger you flung yourself into his arms and he relaxed in your embrace, titus beginning to lick your face clearing the tears while you giggled, truly on top of the world with damian, forever and always
a/n: these all got so sappy ahcowkfjr i'm such a fluff monster omg... anyways! i tried to keep them fun and interesting but i definitely air with damian on the side of thinking proposals are slightly overhyped and as an anxious bean i already get scared at the idea of everyone looking at you no matter how in love you are haha so all the proposals were kinda personal i hope that's okay lolzzz anywho! love you hope you enjoyed!
#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#batboys#dick grayson#batfam#dc headcanons#dc headcanon#batfam headcanons#batboys headcanons#jason todd x reader#jason todd fluff#red hood x reader#dick grayson headcanon#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#tim drake x reader#dc fluff#damian wayne fluff#tim drake fluff
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A Little Pick-Me-Up ➣ Hwang Hyunjin
Genre: highschool au, slice of life, fluff
Pairing: hyunjin x reader
Word Count: 1,961
Summary: Hyunjin gets a little worried after he heard you fainted at school.
From Jinnie [11:36]:
hey, why aren't u in class?
From Jinnie [11:37]:
Y/N
From Jinnie [11:37]:
y/n
From Jinnie [11:37]:
y/f/n answer me
From Jinnie [11:38]:
….
From Jinnie [11:38]:
.......................
From Jinnie [11:41]:
AHHHHH
From Jinnie [11:42]
WHY R U IN THE NURSES OFFICE
From Jinnie [11:42]:
Lix just told me T.T
From Jinnie [11:42]:
I'm seeing ur ass after class
To Jinnie [11:46]:
I just passed out you loser
To Jinnie [11:46]:
stop spamming
From Jinnie [11:48]:
:(
To Jinnie [11:48]:
no need to worry so calm down :(
The nurse's office was quiet other than the sound of the nurse printing papers in the room next door. You set your phone down once you figured Hyunjin wasn't going to reply back and decided to just rest for a while. You sighed as you rubbed your head, a headache was coming on, and you hoped it didn't become a migraine. School nurses mostly didn't do much, but at least they let you lay down on the beds in the other room. They were uncomfortable and leathery, but they did the job.
Bright white light shone through the window in the room, and really just annoyed you. So you reached over to shut the blinds, rattling against each other as they fell over the window. You scanned the room, grateful that your school had a separate room for a place to rest. Otherwise, you probably would've gone insane from sitting in a room with your school nurse for longer than five minutes. Not that she was unkind, but just a little weird. Her large eyes gave her the appearance of a frightening bug, and the woman had a tendency to stare. You shivered.
Laying down once more, you closed your eyes to get some peace in the quaint room. And at some point, despite the hard lumpy bed, you drifted off to sleep.
That is until your door was creaked open and your good old buddy old pal Hyunjin came in. And he was a loud motherfucker.
"Tell me what happened! Are you okay?? Oh--shit you're sleeping…" His loud voice dwindled when he noticed you sleeping. He needlessly covered his mouth with his hand before stepping inside and quietly shutting the door behind him. He did so with a little more pomp and circumstance than required.
"Well, I was sleeping until somebody came in." You acted annoyed and sat up, rolling your eyes at him with an impish smile.
Hyunjins shoulders raised and he smiled apologetically before he sat on the bed across from yours, elbows resting on his knees. You crossed your legs and faced him, then a look of confusion crossed your face.
"Wait. How'd you get in here? The nurses don't let-"
"She was sleeping." He winked and chuckled, leaning forward comfortably.
"Good, her eyes freak me out." You scoffed.
A weird look crossed Hyunjins face, and he cringed, "Ah, actually...she sleeps with her eyes open…"
"You're kidding!" Your jaw dropped, and the creepy image passed through your head. A shudder ran down your spine, and you shook your head to rid the image.
"No, I'm not joking. It was freaky." He shook his head, lips still curled back in unease. Then he looked at you for a moment, "But seriously, I'm glad you're doing okay."
"...yea, thanks for checking up." It warmed your heart to see that Hyunjin actually came to see you. You smiled at him, "It means a lot."
"Um, of course, what kind of friend would I be?" He teased. "So, tell me what happened. All Felix knew was that you passed out last class."
A heavy sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes trailed down, "You're gonna make fun of me."
"Me? Make fun of you? No, never." Sarcasm dripped off his tongue.
"Oh, shut up you loser." You threw the unfluffed pillow at him, which he caught anyway.
"Fine, but really tell me." He hugged the pillow and looked at you, earnestly, "You really worried me when I heard."
You smiled at Hyunjin, the butterflies in your stomach were flying all around at his comment. This boy really did cause your stomach to do flips and all kinds of tricks, in all honesty, you felt like a lovesick fool around him. But he just made you too happy to not be so touched by his actions. He may be a little dumb sometimes...and a little annoying, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Hyunjin continually shows that he genuinely cares about you, which you appreciate greatly. And this was another thing to add to the "Reasons why Hyunjin is Perfect" book.
"Okay okay, fine." you sigh and shrug limply, "I overworked myself."
Hyunjins brows furrowed, "That's it?"
You glared at him.
"No no no, I didn't mean it like that." Hyunjin straightened his back and waved his hands in front of him dismissively. "I mean, you're embarrassed about that?"
"Well, yea…" You rubbed your arm. "Fainting in the middle of class is kind of embarrassing, its a lot of unwanted attention and all because I thought I could do more than I was capable of. I wasn't sleeping or eating or resting and...yea."
"Hey it's okay," Hyunjin encouraged, "It wasn't more than you were capable of, it just shows you have big ambitions! You just need to learn to take care of yourself better, got it? You're one of the hardest working people I know, and I don't want you putting yourself down."
When you wouldn't answer or look him in the eye, Hyunjin stood up. You weren't sure what he was doing since you could only see his feet and legs, but when you lifted your chin up, you saw him with arms wide open. A soft look in his eyes and welcoming arms, he was offering you a hug. And you began to tear up at the touching gesture.
You sniffed once, then twice, then basically sprang up to tackled him in a hug. The stress you've been accumulating just pouring out of you all at once. The tears came quickly, and in a steady stream, as you buried your face in his chest, his arms wrapped securely around you. You were sure you looked like a mess, you could see it now. Red face, messy hair, shaky breaths. Yet Hyunjin rubbed your back calmly, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
It was hard to tell how long you cried into his shoulder, it could've been a couple minutes to a half hour. But you were absolutely grateful to Hyunjin at that moment. You were about to make a comment on how he was your steady rock, but you heard a sniffle. And it wasn't from you.
"If you keep crying, then you're gonna make me cry." Hyunjin laughed as he wiped the small tears forming in his eyes.
"Oh, you're just a big soft sweetheart." You cooed teasingly and pinched his cheek, your sniffles turning into amused giggles. Hyunjin grimaced and swatted your hand away gently, but then wiped the tears from your stained cheeks.
"I'm okay with being a softy if that's what it takes to keep you happy." Hyunjin smiled at you once again, igniting the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
You rested your head on his chest and mumbled, "If it's you, I'll always be happy."
Hyunjin untangled himself from your grasp excitedly. The look on his face only meant mischief, "Oh, I just got an idea!!"
"What what what?" You asked, taken aback by his sudden liveliness.
"How about we," He smiled roguishly, glancing towards the door before back at you "skip the rest of our classes for the day. And go out for something to eat."
"Well," You began, unsure. "I want to catch up on homework, and I still have that project due next week."
Hyunjin gave you a look, deadpanned and wry. "Really? Okay, I'll convince you. You need to eat since you just passed out, and I'll treat you to some quality food at like, Denny's or iHop or something. Then afterward, we'll just chill and hang out. Which, in the long run, will reduce stress levels and make you more productive later. Okay?"
The room was silent for a while as you thought about it, a frown settling onto your face. That it until Hyunjin pouted at you, and you were hooked.
"Ugh, okay fine, I'll go!" You sighed while Hyunjin silently celebrated his tiny victory, his arms shot up straight in the air. Despite your hesitation to go, seeing Hyunjin so animated got you laughing along with him as well.
It wasn't hard to sneak past the nurse, she was still sleeping. And Hyunjin wasn't kidding when he said he slept with her eyes open; she was still sat up and staring. But even calling her name didn't faze her.
You and Hyunjin shared a look before laughing and slipping past the door. Even leaving the school wasn't hard at all. You just walked out, and that was that. You were surprised.
"It's that easy?" You wondered, "And you seem to know what you're doing."
"It's all in the confidence, if you look suspicious, then they will be suspicious. Honestly, I've never skipped in the middle of class before." Hyunjin laughed and fished out his car keys. "But you couldn't tell, right?"
You shook your head, "I was beginning to think you skipped regularly."
"Nope." He feigned offense and look down at you, hand on his chest and nose all scrunched up. "What, you think I'm some kind of thug??"
With eyebrows raised in amusement, you snorted at the thought. Hyunjin was not thug material, and he knew that. You gave Hyunjin a quick up and down look, "Definitely not."
Once in the car, Hyunjin focused on getting the two of you to your destination in one piece. While you were left the responsibility of being DJ, so you hooked your phone up and began scrolling through your music.
While picking between playlists, your phone rumbled, and you got a text. Mildly interested, you switched your attention to that conversation instead.
From Lix [12:51]:
Hey hey hey y/n :P
To Lix [12:51]:
lol what is it?
From Lix [12:52]:
Did Hyunjin tell you?
To Lix [12:52]:
what?
From Lix [12:53]:
He was tearing up when he heard you fainted, he was v worried about you
From Lix: [12:53]:
He kinda looked like a lost puppy lol, v sweet
Well, Hyunjin didn't tell you that, but you wouldn't put it past him. You knew Hyunjin had a soft heart, and it honestly touched you how worried he got about you. But that wouldn't stop you from teasing the hell out of the poor boy. You grinned to yourself as you thought up a reply. Before you could, Felix beat you to it.
From Lix [12:55]:
You guys should just date already lol
You sputtered as you took a quick glance at Hyunjin driving, blushed, and looked back down at your phone. The thought of dating Hyunjin has definitely crossed your mind before, and it surely was now.
To Lix [12:55]:
pay attention in class.
After replying, you chose a random playlist and shut your phone off, not wanting Felix to get you even more nervous. But you did take the opportunity to tease your buddy, "So...Felix just told me you were tearing up after you heard I fainted?"
"Ah…" Hyunjin sighed, but you saw the tips of his ears growing pink, "Felix should learn to withhold some information."
"No, no, I think he's perfectly fine." You laughed, looking at him endearingly. "Besides, it's sweet. You're my little worrywart."
Hyunjin smiled at your words, and he glanced at you, stars in his eyes, "As long as I'm yours."
A/N: I’m so slow at requests wow lol. But yea, this was a request from an anon! Hope you enjoyed it hehe, it was something quick to post while I work on my bigger projects too
#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#kpop#hwang hyunjin#hwang hyunjin imagines#hwang hyunjin fanfic#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin#kpop fanfic#bang chan#bang chan fanfic#kim woojin#kim woojin fanfic#lee minho#lee minho fanfic#seo changbin#seo changbin fanfic#han jisung#han jisung fanfic#lee felix#lee felix fanfic#kim seungmin#kim seungmin fanfic#yang jeongin#yang jeongin fanfic#stray kids high school#kpop imagines#should I stop the excessive tagging?
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Souls of Glass Chapter 12
Just a lot of pure fluffy floof <3 And a little smut xD Enjoy~!
Lost is my bb boi!
Xans, Vasriel and Vlowey belong to @jeyawue
Chapter 12
Xans lay awake in the dark, the soft sounds of Lost's breathing next to him. He fingered the collar around his neck, sighing. I'm his.... He thought, then turned his head to look at the sleeping form next to him. Lost was curled up slightly, his face peaceful and hands slightly curled in front of his face. The dragon charm's eyes seemed to glint in the moonlight and he smiled a little. And he's mine. All mine.... He watched as Lost twitched in his sleep, his face scrunching as a nightmare began to form behind his rapidly moving, closed eyelids. "Shh...." He reached out and gently threaded his fingers through soft, black and white tipped strands. "It's alright Lost....jus' a bad dream..."
After a few moments, Lost calmed down and nuzzled his hand in his sleep, a soft smile crossing his features before relaxing back into a deeper sleep. He chuckled and moved to hold Lost close, their noses near touching. I....I'm not sure what I feel right now.... He thought as his Soul thrummed in his chest. Is this....contentment? Happiness? Or is it somethin' more than that?
He tucked Lost's head under his chin, running a hand up and down the pale young man's back. I don't know anymore.... He frowned. He could feel Lost's heartbeat against his chest, the rhythm soothing and gentle. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to follow the beat and match it with his own breathing. If....If I go back to the way I was...I'll lose this....won't I? The thought caused his Soul to suddenly squeeze in pain enough to make him flinch. This feeling....my hunger will return........
He stopped moving his hand, having it rest in the small of Lost's back. I'll stop....feeling this way....right? Human Souls are very different from monster Souls...or the one I once had. If I go back to the way I was, I'll regain my powers in full, but- He was cut off as his hand slid down to Lost's shoulder blades. Hmm? He dragged his hands along carefully, feeling Lost shiver as his fingers found soft bumps across his skin. Scars? From what? He looked down at the sleeping young man and smiled. What secrets are ya still hidin', hmm?
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Lost finished wiping the window down and sighed. He had rolled up the sleeves of his light blue knit sweater, the jeans he wore slightly baggy. "Alright....the office is all cleaned up. Well..." He looked at the bed in the room and scowled.
"There's one lingering mess to pick up." Xans was sprawled out on the bed, his right leg hanging off the side as he snored loudly. He was wearing a white t-shirt that simply said 'My lazy shirt' and was back in his usual shorts. His white hair was a mess, splayed out under his head as he had his right arm on the pillow. "Hey, Xans!"
"Nghfh......leave me alone....I smell....bacon...." Lost smirked and grabbed his phone, hitting the record button. "Mmmnh.....I wanna....eat the pancakes.....the ones with....with steak and eggs...." Lost snickered under his breath.
"Cookies....lotsa....caramel and...and.....mmmmm...."
"Xans, you need to wake u-"
"Heh......Lost.....yer all messy...." Lost's cheeks darkened as Xans lazily licked his lips. "Lemme...lick that all up fer yah...."
"Xans! Wake up!" Lost turned the phone off and shook him. The albino grumbled and peeked his green eye open, irritated. "Y-You...ah....you were....umm...." Lost coughed and stood straight up. "I-I need to clean the sheets!"
"Mmnh....do it later....." Xans yawned and curled back up, his legs tangled in the bed sheets. "Still....sleepy..."
"Xans it's 2 in the afternoon." Lost crossed his arms, tapping his slippered foot in irritation. "Get the hell up or I'm making you."
"Mmmnh...dead or alive....ya'll never get me...." He mumbled. Lost scowled and gripped his Soul with his blue magic, flipping him off the bed. Xans smirked and suddenly, large blue rhombus shaped wings sprouted from his back. He hovered in midair before landing. "Aww c'mon Lost. Ya know I was just messin'." Lost stared, the rag in his hand forgotten and falling onto the floor. "What?"
"I...I just....I've never seen your wings before." He admitted softly. Xans floated down in front of Lost and watched as he carefully reached out, touching his wings. Lost felt the smooth surface of his wings, watching them twitch a bit. They flickered in the room before vanishing, Xans's bare feet gently touching the floor.
"Wow..."
"Well they are made data and code." Xans chuckled as his tail whipped out. "I'm surprised ya've never seen them before. Thought ya had." His tail began to poke Lost in the cheek and he smacked it away. "Aww, it likes ya~!"
"Xans, c'mon." Lost laughed slightly despite his irritated look and grabbed it. He grinned as he stroked it and Xans felt like his whole body was struck by lightning. He moaned slightly and Lost's grin widened. "Oh.....you like that? Or does your tail like it~?"
"Y-Ya shit! L-Let it g-ungh~...." Lost gave it another stroke, his smile wide as he brought it to his mouth. "N-No~...." Xans felt his legs shake a bit as Lost's soft, pink tongue dragged along his tail, making him squirm as his member grew hard. F....fuck.....shit....... "Y-yer.....dirty...."
"You asked for it...." Lost chuckled softly. "Besides...I can't let you be in charge all the time....now can I?" Lost continued to stroke and play with his tail, nipping and kissing it as Xans growled, his fingers grabbing the bedpost of their newly bought bed, scratching at the wood. "Feel good?"
"Nnn......uh....huh...." Xans's blue tongue lolled a bit and he felt his member throb as Lost whispered against his tail. Suddenly, Lost let go and Xans blinked.
"H-Huh?"
"No more unless you do some chores."
"Y-Ya dirty little-" Lost walked up and placed a hand firmly on his erection, making him moan. "F-fuck you~...."
"Hmm.....maybe later." Lost whispered in his ear. "Or maybe it's my turn, mm?"
Fuck...why the fuck is he so hot right now? Xans thought as Lost's hand squeezed and stroked his clothed erection. "Nnnnfhhhuuuucckkkk......" Lost kept squeezing until he came hard in his pants, falling to his knees. "Y...yer.....a little minx, eh Lost?"
"Well..." Lost kissed his neck, biting it softly as Xans's tail coiled around his waist playfully. "I can't let you have all the fun, can I?"
"I dunno....you being so assertive is quite the turn on..." Lost moved away, his cheeks pink and eyes looking at the corner of the room. "Heh, ya look cute like that too."
"J-Just clean the room ok? I gotta go help get lunch ready." Lost huffed, heading out of the room. Xans stood up and looked down at his shorts, now stained with his cum.
Fucking hell....gotta shower first. He headed to the bathroom and undressed, his mind wandering. Hmm...so he's never seen my wings until know, eh? I have an idea....
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"Where are we going?"
"Just be patient Lost."
"It's kinda hard to be patient when you have me in a fucking blindfold here Xans."
"Well ya need to be patient."
"You bound my hands too."
"Eh, thought ya'd appreciate some foreplay."
"Foreplay?!"
"Hahahahaha!" Xans stopped once they reached their destination and undid Lost's hands. "I didn't want ya takin' it off. Thought ya trusted me."
"It's not that I don't trust you Xans." Lost huffed, his eyes still covered by a thick, black blindfold. "But when you walk up to me, asking me if i like 'bondage' and then do this, how can I not be a little suspicious of what you were going to do?" Xans simply chuckled and undid the blindfold, but covered his eyes and kissed the skin behind his ear, making him shudder a bit. "X-Xans..."
"Are ya ready? I'm gonna show ya something." He whispered. "I'm willin' ta bet you'll like it~...." He uncovered Lost's eyes and the young man stared.
"W....wow...." They were on a large, grassy hill just outside the city. Lost could see the city lights below and in the distance, shimmering almost like grounded stars. The moon was high above them, full and bright. Lost took a few steps forward, his eyes wide with awe. "This......just...."
"When I first got 'ere, I found this spot when wanderin' around." Xans explained. "It has a beautiful view durin' the day...but at night....it's near enchanting." Lost nodded and continued to gaze at the scenery. Xans's eyes turned to Lost and his own eyes widened a bit. Lost's skin seemed to almost glow in the moonlight, his hair softly swaying in the cool, autumn breeze. The city lights shone brightly in his red and blue eyes, making them shine with life and amazement. He was wearing his usual blue hoodie and basketball shorts, his pink slippers on his socked feet. "Beautiful...."
"Hmm? You say something?" Lost turned his head and Xans shrugged. Xans moved behind Lost, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in soft, black, white tipped locks. "Xans..." Lost brought his own arms up to hold the other's, their fingers intertwining. "This is a rather beautiful spot."
"Yeah...but it's even better the higher up ya are." Lost cocked his head and yelped when he was lifted bridal style. "Wanna see?"
"Xans, put me the fuck down!" Lost struggled in his tight grip before pouting, arms crossed. "What are you sch-" Xans jumped off the steep side of the hill, and the two began to plummet. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Xans grinned and his large, data wings appeared and he flew up high, Lost clinging to him as his chest heaved.
"Ha! Ya should see yer face!"
"You motherfucker!" Xans just laughed and felt Lost's arms wrap around his neck. "You're so gonna pay for this later."
"I'm counting on it." Xans smiled and leaned down, kissing Lost gently. The albino responded instantly, humming in the gentle lip lock. The two remained there for awhile until Xans began to fly higher, giving them both a large view of the land around them. "It's always nice, being up this high."
"Yeah...it makes everything look so small." Lost commented. Xans raised a brow and Lost shrugged. "Although the wind is getting a bit stronger."
"Yeah, we'll head back." Xans began to fly down when his wings flickered.
"What? Sh...oh shit....shit!" He tried to go faster when his wings suddenly vanished. Oh fuck no!!!! Both boys began a freefall, Xans holding Lost as tight as he could. "Shit Lost! Hang on alright?!"
"Hang on to what?! We'll be killed at this height!" Lost snapped as they fell faster. Lost looked at Xans and felt his heart clench. Xans's eyes were filled with a sense of dread, and he felt a hand on his cheek. "Xans....hang on."
"H-" Lost spun in the air, now holding Xans as large, bright wings burst from Lost's back, stopping their descent. Xans blinked a few times, in shock before looking at Lost.
"Can you...uhh...adjust yourself a bit? You're kinda hard to hold like this..." Lost was holding him with his arms around his stomach, Xans's arms and legs hanging in the air. "Please?" Xans nodded and moved around, holding onto Lost. He could see Lost's large wings and his eyes widened at their size.
They've gotta be at least four feet long! He thought. The feathers were large, light blue in shade with red tips, as if they had all been dipped in blood. Lost landed gently on the ground, being careful to place Xans down. "Holy shit....ya have wings."
"Y-yeah...." Lost mumbled, his wings tucking behind him gently. "Sorry I never showed them before, but with their size-"
"That ain't the only reason, is it?" Lost flinched a bit as Xans moved around.
"May I?" Lost nodded softly and Xans touched the feathers, feeling them glide along his fingertips. As he touched Lost's wing bones, the young man shivered a little, his wings quivering. "Sensitive~?"
"S-Stop it." Lost huffed.
"Why hide these? They look...stunning." Xans said, walking back around as Lost's wings vanished.
"I just....it's something I just wish to forget." He admitted. "I don't like who I was. I was...." He shook his head and looked into Xans's eyes. "Please....please stop asking. Don't make me talk about it..." Xans looked into Lost's pleading eyes and nodded.
I suppose I can understand....if his past is that bad, then perhaps, fer once, it's best to leave it be. He decided and moved in close, kissing Lost and threading his fingers through his hair. He pulled the young man closer to him as they deepened their kiss, their soft moans mixing with the sound of the forest they had landed in. I've gotten soft....but....I wouldn't change a damned thing....
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"I am growing bored with waiting Vassssssssriel!" Vlowey snapped as the two floated in a large, dark space, purple strings of numbers and symbols flickering around them. "When will we get a chanccccccccce to play?"
"Soon Vlowey.....very soon." Vasriel grinned, holding his hand out. He relaxed as he watched Lost and Xans kiss on his screen, then the two began to walk off. He could hear their playful arguments and soft flirting, smirking as Lost blushed and Xans's face broke out into a true, genuine smile. "I think we'll be able to have a little fun shortly."
"About fucking time! I grow weary of thissssssssssss placcccce!" Vasriel chuckled as he turned to his partner, the flower scowling.
Heh....yes. I think it's time for us to move soon.....just a little longer.... He finished an email and sent it, a grin on his face as his eyes lit up with malice and glee. Very soon.....
#lostsans#xans#humanlost#humanxans#undervirus#losttale#souls of glass#jeyawue#stratajem#yaoi#lostxxans#vasriel#vlowey#smut#dating#nearly plummeting to your death brings you closer apparently!
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It’s 2010 bitch!!!
written also with @spacetaemin, @5hineesback, @choitaemins and @sabakunocasali (and probably many others)
“Minho shoot the ball” yelled super jock Kim Jonghyun as he ran down the footballl field. Minho, baseball in hand, hit the soccer ball so hard it become a touchdown. Everyone in the audience cheered but especially Taemin, long haired bb child innocent my son,,,doesn’t know a damn thing about anything. Evry1 thinks hes a girl but rly hes just feminine and cute and clueless!
Sitting next to Taemin was his best-friend-but-also-pseudo-mother, Kim Kibum, better known as “Key Umma.”
“I did it I got a homerun!!!” Choi Minho, the coolest jock in school, yelled as he ran on the track. He locked eyes w/ his super beautiful girlfriend, Yuri. She was so hot and he wsa really heterosexual and straight. Nothing would ever change that!!!!
Jonghyun, the token gay on the Sports team, immediately ran to his boyfriend in the stands, Key. The two embraced lovingly, proclaiming their love in front of the entire school because apparently homophobia isnt a thing and high schcool is just Amazing. They were the only Gays (Trademark) in the entire school (a/n: or so everyone Thought!!!!! Wink wink!!!!), and everyone knew that they Loved each other So Deeply that they would probably get married right after graduation. (a/n: jonghyun is thinking of proposing right after the game!!! He has a ring in jock strap and everything!!)
Minho looked on, disgusted. How could they possibly be okay wit THAT? He knew deep down he was truly homophobic. Minho hated gays!!! Suspicious that no one ever questioned why…
The next day they had to go to science class because it’s school and that’s what happens sometimes. Of course this was only for Loser kids, and Kim “Straight” Jonghyun wasnt One of those kids. He didnt even go to school he just sat in the basketball courts and pretended. He was cooler than That
Minho was still in class though because he was even cooler than Jonghyun and the coolest kids break the expectations of what’s expected of them. He sat in sciencey class ignoring the teacher. He scribbled down his favorite cereal recipes to pass the time.
Meanwhile, sitting int he back of the class was Taemin, even though he and minho aren’t even in the same grade. Taemin scribbled Minho’s name in little hearts all over his notebook, slamming it clsoed as loud and dramatically as possible when his teacher called him out for not paying attention.Minho didnt even know taemin Existed, let alone that he was a…..boy.. (and minho, as established, is not A Gay..he couldnt be!.. ..
Minho looked up at this. “Who’s That Girl” by EXID played in the background as Minho looked at Taemin for the first time...who WAS this boi? And WHY did he want to know? There’s no possible way that this literal nobody could make Minho question himself
The bell rang, and now it’s lunch because of course lunch happens right after the only class of the day. Taemin went to sit with Key Umma and Kim “Call Me Appa” Jonghyun at their usual lunch table (which was the only place at school jonghyun would actually go because usually hed be sitting alone in a basketball court). Taemin had lunch from home, because he would never eat the gross Cafeteria food that was served. Of course his Key Umma made the lunch for him since Taemin didn’t knwo how to make lunch at all. Taemin sipped on his 2 liter jug of banana milk(through a bendy straw courtesy of Key Umma) and innocently hummed a tune, blissfully unaware of the tragedies that occur in daily life.
“Life i s so good ummma” taemin said happily with a ray of sunshine coming down onto him from the window. Coincidentally, the sun also shines straight out of his asshole, and sometimes, a rainbow. “I don’t think anything can go wrong ever”
Just then!!! Minho, carrying his tray of Cafeteria food, tripped and fell and dropped all of his food right on Taemin’s head!!!
Key immediately stood up to defend his perfect pure virgin son, screeching at Minho for corrupting him with his School Food!!! Taemin didn’t even know what food was!! How dare Minho do this to him/!!!
“*sorry in Korean*” apologized Minho but Key umma was not having it. He hit Minho over the head with a his gucci bedazzled rhinestone purse, careful not to damage his perfectly manicured nails which no one at this school questioned, because he was the Queen Bee (and Shin Sekyung WASN’T) who everyone Feared.
Key immediately turned to Jonghyun, slapping his shoulder and saying, “Protect your Son!!!111!!”
Jonghyun, conflicted between defending his son’s honor and offending his Star Teammate, could only sit and now know what to do.
“Uwu it’s ok key ummma i-i can just go wash this off” taemin said as he poured banana milk on his head as a makeshift shower of sorts. Minho escorted him to the water fountains, dribbling a basketball as he did at literally all times ever.
“Minho oppa what’s basketball” taemin innocently asked.
“Ball is life” was the reply, Minho looking soulfully at the ceiling as if staring into the very eyes of god
“Ooooooh! That sounds so fun! Oppa-HYUNG you’re so dedicated and tall and amazing and I’m so...me” he said, sunshine still falling on him even though they were indoors, with the first hint of disappointment he’s ever shown in his whole Kawaii, Clueless life.
“Just you?” Minho yelled, dribbling his basketball faster. “NO”
“wae”
“Taemin you are so...kawaii” minho didn’t realize he said the words until he said them. A single tear rolled down his cheeks as he let himself realize...Taemin neomu yeppeo. He didnt want to admit it….but could these doki dokis…..be gay doki dokis????? It couldnt be. He continued dribbling.
“Minho ophyung..” taemin said dreamily as he stared into his chocolate orbs. This was it...he had fallen in love with the coolest jock in the school! But how could this happen? Taemin was just a lowly science nerd who even thoough was extremely pretty and beautiful nobody @ school liked him except for Key umma (and jonghyun but again, did he really evene go to this school? How old even is he???? Does he havea home?)
Minho pushed taemin away. “Taemi i’m not gay okay and also...you’re in the sciencwe club. That’s fucking dumb”
“Bbut……...hyoppa………...without science would ball still be life?”
“Ball is ALWAYS life!!!1!” Minho shouts in his face. Still dribbling.
“What if it isn’t??” Taemin challenged Minho’s way of life for the first time.”Without science, you wouldn’t even HAVE life!!”
This was too much thinking for Minho’s basketball brain to handle. Suddenly, he felt like he was going to explode. Key Umma hoped he would explode.
“What if…..” taemin started, shakily, already in tears, “what if you’re–”
“N O” minho answered, sprinting away with his long, gazelle like legs.
“What if…..ur my life……...hyoppa”
Minho was too far away to hear the tragic confession….
KEY’S POV
Today I’m wearing a gucci bedazzled purse, ripped jeans that has a cheetah print on them with black lace at the ends, red converse which have mud all over them from marching band even tho i don’t play an instrument, that’s only for preps! EW! (I dont march either, wwalking is too much work! They carry me on the drums because everyone fucking loves me and worships me like a god, but anyways) My diamond studded earings shone gracefully in the wind as I walked to the stupid jock-ey school holding the hands of the HOTTEST BOY I’VE EVER MET my boyfriend jonghyun! He has an eightpack and literally LIVES in a basketball court. Jonghyun isn’t just my boyfriend he’s also my bitch
Suddenly, Shin Sekyung. And bees.
What a stupid whore I hate her because she gets in the way of me and Jjongie!!! Also she has 30 boyfriends already, because shes a prep and a slut, and i only have three! Well, three counting all of jonghyun’s edgy personalities. At least two and a half are straight.
Shin Sekyung and her prep friends look at me. I put my middle finger up at them.
I continue making out w my beautiful, hot bf and ignore them.
“What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers!!” Lee Sooman yelled as he ran across the campus, angrily shaking his fists.
“Oh no” Jonghyun said wearing his hot Good Charlotte shirt that I bought for him because I love Good Charlotte and MCR. Gerard Way is soooooooo hot. But not as hot as Jonghyun
“Key umma what’s going on” asked Taemin innocently as he tripped over his -2 sized shoes and fell onto the ground and dropped his banana milk. I had to protect my son from the stupid preps who go to this school that doesn’t even have any real emos in it. Sad!
I ran towards my baby careful not to get my $200 pedicure ruined by the grass
“My lil bab are u okay????? U lil innocent soul” I said as I pet his hair
“Umma what’s gay i don’t know what’s this is!”
I starts screaming that someone has corrupted his baby, even though he himself is the MotherGay, and he cradles Taemin’s perfect little cherub head close to his chest and tells him that he doens’t need to know what a penis is.
“That is only for grown ups!!!! You're too young bby” I said as I shook my head
“I went on the internet with my parents permission last night and looked it up but I just got confused! What’s a penis i don’t?? UNDERSTAND”
I SCREAMED
“TAEBBY YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PENISES!!!”
“BUT UMMA I THINK I HAVE ONE!!!”
“YOU DONT KNOW THAT! GO TO BED!”
“Wwe;re at schcool” he sobbed
“TAEMIN GO TAKE A NAP IT’S NAP TIME FOR SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE BBYS”
I heard balls dibidibidribbling in the distance, getting close and closer. I turned my head it was Minho with at least 50balls!
Minho was such a stupid prep and I put my middle finger up at him. “Go away minho” i yelled sexily, “you must be the reason for my small baby child son’s corruption……...
Minho sneered “psh yea i got a functioning diccccc”
“Umma,” taemin piped up from his nap, “i think my penis likes minho”
“Taemin i’ve” minho started “i’ve come to terms w/ it..i’m Gay but only for you!!!! And only because you look like a girl with your hair!! My bae you’re so beautiful if you just wore contacts and wore a lil makeup..i wanna fuck you btw. But its not gay its just you! Because ur basically a girl!”
Taemin blushed and swept a strand of his long hair away from his face. “Gomawo…. Oppa.. hyung…. What is a fuck? Can you teach me?”
Kibum SCREETCHED and ascended to another plain of reality away from the preps. Hes not dead but like, hes basically in gods hands now
MINHO’S POV
Taemins so hot I wanna have sex with him but from behind so I can pretend he’s a girl. Suddenly i got phone call from my girlfriend yuri who i completely forgot about! She squealed about how hot i was at my lacrossesoccerketball game and then asked something that i didnt care about and then hung up. I went downstairs to cook up my signature “cereal”
I put bananas and honey and spiders and a little bit of granola in it to make it into the perfect meal. I knew Yuri would love it. When did yuri get here? I dont know. I have no sense of what time is, and ive heard its fake anyways so its cool
“Taemin here’s your meal- oh no i mean yuri!!!!!!” yikes!!!!!!!!!
Taemin started crying “minho hyoppadeul what are spiders..why are you doing this to me”
I had to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about I had to bully him because I have gay feelings that need to be pressed back in my head until i can believe they dont exist anymore because im not gay? Whats a gay? Ive never Heard of that! Shut up
Now I’m back at school, because I don’t know hwy I ever left in the first place, but I have to start bullying Taemin!!! In front of everyone!! No one can know that i am Part of a Gay. mostly the dick part because thats the manliest part
“Fuck you taemin” i said while breaking his arm just by breathing on it. I felt a little bad but then I remembered my social status is really important for my lacrosse scholarship and I’ll only get the $5 in financial aid if I’m the coolest person in school so……………….
I dibidibidribbled a baseball in one hand and pushed Taemin intoa trashcan with the other, smirking the entire time as the rest of the entire student body Laughed at him !! haha!!
Key appeared from behind the trashcan. “HOW DAR E YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS SON”
“Umma what’s death i hear it calling for me” taemins tiny bb eye s blurred with tiny tears..he was hurt and beautiful
Key umma rushes to Taemin’s side and pulls him out, pointing a manicured finger straight at Minho’s face.
“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU STUPID fucking PREP” Key screeches!! He puts up his nails like a cat, having recently got them redone to be Sharp.
“knock it off you mediocre dunces!!!!” Lee Sooman yelled from across the hall. He used his special principal powers to teleport us to the prinipals office which was his office actually so it was convenient in many different ways!!
Key takes his gucci purse and WHACKS me in the eyeball with it!
“ANI!” I screamed as my contact fell out and glasses magically appeared onto my face. I hid my disgusting face. Nobody could know that I swear vglasses i wanna fuckin diE
“NOW I’M AN UGLY STR8 not gay NERD!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!”
Taemin starts crying, because he thinks his miinho hyoppa thinks he’s ugly because he wears Glasses like a NErd.
Taemins half dead corpse whispered from the floor, “omo…..i………...wear glasses too Hyungpa..”
“Taemin my soul mate,,,” i reached out to grab taemins hand in my pinky finger because he’s so small. “I want to tell you i- I am only part of a “gay” for you”
Taein cried “wgat is part of gay...are you a buy of sexual?”
“Yes,” minho whispers, “i’m buying a sexual… my peen…. Lovs u….”
“Minho hyoppa” taemin croaks from his half dead state “what’s a peen?”
“GODDAMMIT TAEMIN” KEY SCREAMS “YOU CAN’T KNOW WHAT A PEEN IS”
“Is it what i have?” taemin reaches down to show key the extra leg he thought he had in his pants.
Between his legs wasn’t a penis but….is that senator Bernie Sanders??!?!?!??!?!
Minho gasps. “Here’s how Bernie can still win!!!”
Then Minho dribbled a basketball into the distance with Taemin hanging off of the ball.
“It’s time to dibidibidie, taemin”
“What’s a die?” taemin asked
Key umma could be heard yelling in the distance, but MInho was already dribbling Taemin into the light.
As they approached what was (probably) heaven, and not just a hallucination due to taemins pain meds which were actually just bird seeds(key umma would never let him take real drugs!! Those are DANGEROUS!!), krystal, aka G O D, appeared unto them and stated her wisdom,
“Taekai is real..minho who?”
“Whos kai this is 2010”
“I’m from the future and you’re gay”
“Whats gay”
“Sorry did i say kai i mean...nickhyun. Taenickhun is real”
Suddenly onew appeared eating chicken, trippping ovr everything.
Taemin looked at him and gasped. “Hyung… i havent seen you in years… since you died in the skeleton war………..“
“I was off raising a heavenly chicken farm!! I’m marying a fried chicken leg!! Pls come to my wedding in Chicken Heaven” onew said
“ENOUGH” said Krystal aka G O D as she clapped her thunderous hands, obliterating Onew from existence. He doesn’t belong in 2minjongkey universe.
Taemin started crying. “Where did hyung go, minho hyoppa?”
“Taemin…” Minho said, trying to shield his tiny bf from the pains of death but ultimately failing to do so. “Sometimes people jst fucking leave ok. Jsut like my dad”
“But minho we just went to heaven and god didnt let me die”
“God doesnt let angels die”
Taemin wings grew just then...it was then that everyone remembered he was a Literal Angel. A literal angel. Actually.
“Is this why you didn’t know anything about sex?” Minho asks.
“The only sex ed in heaven is Abstinence” taemin tells him “so you’re going to hell”
“Well damn can we fix that” minho asked, still fucking dribbbling a basketball. Or something
“But hyoppa i don’t know how to sex you have to teach me ;) bb”
Key materialized from the got damn toilet, previously having brunch with GOD, and clapped his sparkly magenta, not green bcs green is for dicks(except jonghyuns dick bcos key liked that one) manicured hands twice, transporting them to who fucking knwos
“LISTEN BITCH” Shin Sekyung roared as she tore out Key’s sparkly pink hair extensions.
Key tried to hit Sekyung (jfc poor girl i can see her funeral) with his gucci purse but missed, flinging it into the distance as he screamed.
Key turned, telling his super hot muscular popular bad-boy boyfriend Jjong to tell this Prep Bitch Shin Sekyung that he was dating Key now!!! And she needed to get her Prep Ass away from him!!
“Jonghyun. Buy me a new purse” key said to his boyfriend, flicking his hair in a diva-ish manner and bounced his soft hips (i read something like this in a fanfic holy shit)
Event hough Jonghyun is still in high school and never goes to class and has no job, he has rich ass parents, so he can buy Key anything he wants. He pulls out his dad’s credit card and tells Key to pick out any purse he wants!!!
Key picks out the purse that those ugly preps would dislike the most, and makes a mental note to slap all of them with it.
Jonghyun buys the purse for him and gives it to his diva boyfriend. Then taemin appears.
“Umma i ran out of banana milk :( minho said i could drink his but i don’t know what he means… i didn’t see him with any milk”
Key Umma started screeching into oblivion, and Jonghyun had to wave aroudn his credit card with promises of a new outfit to get him to calm down and come back to the mortal plain of existence.
That’s when Key Umma ran straight to Minho!!! That PREP had corrupted his baby!!!
“HE WAS INNOCENT U BITCH!!” Key screams in Minho’s face. “YOU TOLD HIM WHAT A PEEN IS!!”
Minho frowned, dribbling his basketball more aggressively hsi totally stoic cold face(trademark) existing.
“But he has a peen”
“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS!!1!!”
Taemin, sipping on a new bottle of banana milk that Jonghyun had pulled out of his ass for him, only shifted his eyes between his umma and his new (secret!!) boyfriend. Key Umma couldn’t know that Minho was his (secret!!) boyfriend! No one could know, because then everyone would know that Minho was part of a gay, and Minho didn’t want anyone to know that. He might lose his spot on the basketball team since Jonghyun is the only gay allowed!!!
“I didn’t tell him.” minho said. “Telling him might make people think… i’m a…. gay...w hich i’m not. I have a girlfriend her name is yuri. Shes really hot and i know this because i’m straight”
Taemin’s eyes filled with tears. “Hyoppa….”
Minho pushed Taemin into a trashcan again, the banana milk flying from Taemin’s hands and up into the air, only to open compeltely and spill onto the top of his head. His tears mixed with the banana milk flowing down his chubby baby cheeks. He couldn’t believe his Minho hyoppa would say he was a Straight.
“Key Umma, what is a straight?” Taemin asks through banana tears.
“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT PREP MINHO!!”
Key umma, finally so fed up with that DUMB PREP!! flew (a/n: very literally!!) at Minho, hitting him in the head with his brand new gucci purse!!
Minho’s brain popped straight out of his skull, and it was actually basketball this entire time!!!
Minho’s body was still working without it’s basketball brain, and so he reached over and started dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.
Suddenly Amy walked in she was so cool!! She’s an OC shh.
“Who are you?” key asked. “Another dumb prep?!!!! Are you here to steal my popular hot muscular jonghyun?”
(A/N buy press it on iTunes)
Suddenly, Amy hovered in the air and magicalyl turned into Shin Sekyung!!! THAT PRE P BITCH!!
Key threw his purse straight at that Prep Bitch’s head, killing Shin Sekyamy instantly. She ascended into Prep Heaven and haunted them all for the rest of eternity.
Suddenly, her soul turned into a piece of chicken. Onew appeared and picked up what was left, munching on it happily. “My kokoro goes dugeun dugeun for chicken” he said when he had finished.
Taemin gasped. “Hyung!!!!!!!! You’re back!!!!!” and then he started crying again, clutching minho’s shirt wetting it (with tears xdxdxd)
“I must go” onew said. “I need to finish marrying my chicken wife.” and without another word, he evaporated, leaving behind a trail of chicken grease and nuggets.
Out of sudden and behind the grease and dust the gucci slippers appeared.
Taemin gasped. “Hyoppa…. Look… they’re beautiful….”
Key took the slippers right off of Taemin’s feet and hit him over the head with them.
“DO NOT” Key screamed “DO THIS TO MY INNOCENT PERFECT BABY CHILD.”
“But I am your innocent perfect baby child” taemin stuttered, banana tears welling up in his eyes.
“THEN DO NOT,” KEY SCREAMED “DO THIS”
With that, Key disappeared into the void. To finally burn those shits
Taemin cried harder. “Hyoppa… why did he take them from me…. My kokoro is so sad… please make me happy again”
Minho kept dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.
Taemin didn’t seem to notice that Minho no longer had the top of his skull, which was where his basketbrain fell out of. It was okay, because Taemin loved his Minho hyoppa no matter what!!!
“Minho hyoppa…. Do you think… i’m a gay?”
“You can’t be a gay,” minho tells him. “Because i can’t be in love with a gay. I am a straight.”
Taemin starts crying. Key Umma can be heard screaming sassily from the Void(which now was pink)
“I can be the only gay on the basketball team” bling bling says.(a/n: bling bling is jonghyun xD)
Jonghyun, furious at the thought of not being the only gay on the team, shoves Minho away from him. In the Heat of the Moment, Jonghyun accidentally pushes Minho into Taemin!!! Minho was already dead, his body dribbling his basketbrain post-mortem, but Taemin, who was still alive, gets shoved into a trashcan for the last time. His head cracks open from hitting the edge of the trashcan, and a bottle of bananamilk spills out of his head. That was the end of Taemin, for he ascended into heaven so he could take his rightful place as Perfect Baby Virgin Angel of Heaven (trademark).
Jonghyun looks down at them sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Dibidibidis… his name was minho.”
Key, furious from his place in the void, literally fucking launches himself at Jonghyun, and the two of them blow up at the impact. A Gay Rainbow is left in their place, permanently.
Shin Sekyamy ressurrects from the dead, and she laughs maniacally. This had been her plan all along - to get them to all kill each other!!! Now she could be the Real Queen Bee!! Key Umma Whom???
Dibidibidone.
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