#so they’re using the wrong method to try and save you
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It was just a piece of fruit. A small, little, teeny tiny wedge of an apple.
Somehow, that piece was more than large enough to get wedged in my throat.
A cold feeling washed over me as my heart began to pound heavily in my head, so hard that I could feel each pulse throughout my body. Tentatively, I tried to take a breath, but found that I simply couldn’t. There wasn’t a passage of air at all.
No. No no. No, I couldn’t be choking, I couldn’t be.
You were downstairs. I had insisted on taking my apples with caramel dip to the bedroom so I could sit and relax. Funny how things turn out: A simple, calm evening turned into a life-threatening situation in an instant.
My hand reaches for my throat as I yank the covers off. In doing so, I knocked off several items from the nightstand. It would often be something I’d complain about, but in this case, it was a blessing. The crash caught your attention. Your voice calls my name from downstairs.
I scramble towards the bedroom door and do my best to shout. All that comes out of my now blueing lips is a gag. I slam my fists into my abdomen in a pathetic attempt to dislodge the fruit. I couldn’t feel it move one bit. Repeatedly, I do this. I even grab a nearby book and slam the edge of it up into my stomach.
Nothing worked.
On trembling limbs, I crawled out of the bedroom, unable to keep my drool from slipping from my lips and into the carpet. The stairs are just a few feet away, and now, you’re just a few steps away. I could make it-
My vision darkens as I began to crawl down the first few steps. My body slips and falls, colliding with nearly every step.
That is, until you meet me halfway and catch me in your strong arms. My body’s bucking and practically convulsing with pain and the lack of air. You see my pale lips, my reddened cheeks, the veins in my neck popping as my heart frantically beats away the little oxygen I have left.
You know that I’m unable to breathe, but you don’t know the cause. You simply assume that my heart is having a fit. I’m too slow in bringing my hands to my neck to signal that I’m choking.
So, you quickly tilt my head back, plug my nose, and give me as deep of a breath as you could. I can feel my cheeks expand, I could feel your breath try to make its way down my throat to my starved lungs, but it doesn’t make it there. The pressure from your air makes my ears pop. There’s no where for it to go.
You pull away and adjust my head once more, craning my neck further back in a painful manner. In response, my chest hitches higher and higher against your arms, desperate to get a single bit of your air. My hands painfully claw at my own chest, practically tearing at the material of my shirt, as if that was what was keeping my from breathing. It was as if I was trying to carve into my own body and yank the fruit out of my throat.
Once more, you offered me your air, blowing as hard as you could into me.
The air didn’t reach its destination. Once more, the apple stopped it. Only this time with the air, the fruit seemed to be pushed further down my throat.
I begin to panic more, fighting against your comforting arms and biting your lips. My hands go down to my abdomen to smack into myself once more. Compared to earlier, these are weak, pathetic slaps that barely make my body move. Was i truly this weak already?
I realized that I was dying. My head was pounding with pressure, my surroundings were already graying at the corners of my tearful eyes, and my body was fighting for some small amount of air.
Your eyes widen in both guilt and understanding. It clicked: I was choking.
On the stairs, you position yourself behind me and hook your arms around me. Your fist is placed right above my belly button, and with all of your might, you pull sharply into me.
No noise is made from me as you do this, so you do it again, and again, and again. By this point, I’m limp in your arms and my heads hanging down.
I can barely watch as your arms slam into me. I can barely feel as you begin to drag me upstairs to get me on a flat surface. I can barely feel your warm hands pressing into my cheeks to try and stir a reaction, I can barely feel your lips pressing into mine once more to give me your air, I can barely feel it fail to flow.
I can’t feel your hands as they thrust deep and hard with all of your weight into my body to try and get the apple out. I can barely see as your eyes are wild with horror and dismay. Your body bops up and down against mine. Funny, what would normally be such a pleasant sight of you on top of me is perhaps the very last thing I see.
I hear your voice.
And then I simply don’t.
Everything fades.
Part of life is that it ends.
Will you let this be the end?
#mmmmm not too crazy about this#but also I’m just off of an overnight and am thinking about choking#this is a bit of a fantasy right here#being silently killed and your partner doesn’t realize why you’re dying#so they’re using the wrong method to try and save you#and by the time they realize it’s too late#they try as hard as they can to save you but nothing works#and so comes the cpr when heimlich fails#cpr#resus#my writing#idk about it but ehhhdhdkdbdjdb#might delete I’m not confident in it-#still feeling unsure about my place here but I’d like to#i dunno have a little corner of my own
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“We’re in 2019.
Female hair is CENSORED everywhere. You don’t see it on TV. You don’t see it in magazines or adverts.
There is an injunction of society for women to remain 'soft' and completely hairless. Just like a little girl. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence.
Young, skinny, hairless girls have been very popular in the media for years and it makes me wonder. Who's behind it all? Who's perpetuating this message about women looking like adolescent girls? It sometimes feels rather paedophilic. It worries me.”
– Camille Alexander. Musician (2019)
“Years ago I did think about getting laser hair removal for my navel hair, but then I realised I'd be paying a couple of hundred pounds just to conform to expectations that I don't even care about– I'd much rather use the money for a holiday or circus lessons! I think that's one of the things which annoys me so much about society and the media's expectation for women to be basically hairless– they're pressuring us to invest serious time and money and endure pain. It's a double standard and it's unfair.
Being able to accept your body– hair, scars and all– is freeing. I remember seeing my Aunt Glynis dancing to reggae in the 90s with her armpit hair showing– she looked so confident, happy and free. As a child, I couldn't put my finger on 'why', but I can now. On a practical level, it feels pretty darn good when I consider how much time, money and pain I've saved by accepting my body as it is. I like to think that that memory of my aunt being free and totally comfortable in her own skin is one that I can emulate and pass onto other girls and women.
It hasn't always been received well though. At Lambeth County Fair one year, a friend of a friend was seriously freaked out when he saw my armpits. He asked me "what's wrong with you? Why would you do that?!", which was pretty amusing but bewildering. It reminded me there will always be people out there who may react and judge me like that. Thankfully, the opinion of people who think like that means very little to me! For me having hair and not caring is a bit like being part of a secret club. When you notice someone else who is resisting society's expectations and staying hairy you feel solidarity and respect. It's nice to be part of that.”
– Isabel (2019)
“As a teenager, I remember trying to stuff myself into a box of what a girl should be like. It always felt uncomfortable; padded bras, shoes that hurt and shaving rash. Running, swimming and climbing have helped me to see the strength and resilience in my body and to love it for what it is. Growing my armpit hair has been a recent experiment and the longer it gets, the more I like it! I like the way it looks & feels. It has given me a new respect for myself. So I say, embrace growth & if it pleases you, let it all grow!”
– Jess (2018)
“Shaving, epilating or waxing hurts. I was tired of suffering, trying to adapt to the image of a ‘beautiful young woman’ society is selling us. Everybody told me to shave. As a teenager, it’s a huge subject among girls; where do you shave? What method are you using? It takes so much time and costs so much money (the majority of hair removal products are also not recyclable). All of these reasons coming one after another motivated me to stop shaving. I would often have irritated skin after shaving and being a very sporty person, the sweat and the friction of my clothes would cause pain.The worst thing was having sex on the second day after shaving my vulva. I didn't understand why women would suffer and waste so much time on hiding who they really are. By showing my body hair on stage, I would like to stimulate and change people’s point of view. I’d like to motivate women to make their own choices.”
– Darian Koszinski. Circus artist (2018)
“I stopped shaving completely when I was a teenager because of two instances. The first? I got tired of all the time wasted on maintenance and the discomfort that came with it. The second was when I went on a few multiple week-long backpacking trips; it would have been extremely inconvenient to spend hours ripping my hair out, so I let things grow. Being so close to nature let me dive deeper into and re-examine the relationship with myself and the world, acting as a mirror. In nature, there is wild; it is as beautiful as it is untamed. How could it be anything other than that? I felt so relieved and free when I let it grow out. It felt like being able to breathe. It was incredibly comfortable too. I felt a confidence and boldness returning, like I was replenishing some kind of primal power. I will say that a very pleasant side effect of having armpit hair is its ability to ward off rude people whom I wouldn’t care to interact or associate with anyway. Because the people that care about that sort of thing and make it a point to say how disgusted they are, are precisely the kind of people that I don’t want in my life.”
– Kyotocat (2017)
“At this point in life, I feel that the real question shouldn't be 'why did you let your armpit hair grow?' But actually, 'why did you shave in the first place?' Please celebrate your body! Own who you are and be that! Those who celebrate who and what they are, are creating a much open and safer space for those who are struggling to understand who and what they want to be in life. It might be easier said than done but give it a try. We'll then help create a healthier and understanding society with less bullshit than there already is...”
– Alex Wellburn (2017)
“I never stopped shaving because I never started.
I do remember my mother shaving when I was younger and I thought that was pretty unnecessary since she was a strict muslim.
I later realised it's a thing women do to look more desirable to men.
It really irritated me that the people who reacted negatively to my natural armpit hair were men.
Like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. It really gets on my tits.
This is just one more reason that I don't shave it off. It belongs to me and I don't make noise about the "ugly"; hair on men which are sometimes pretty painful in the eye... But you've got to get over it and don't let these idiots get under it.
I would recommend growing it to any women.”
– Ayan Mohamed. Graduate architecture student (2014)
Natural Beauty Photoshoot
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A reminder that scammers are using the situation in Palestine to make a quick buck by stealing images off news sources passing it off as their own or even taking images from real people there and using it as theirs. They are finding public fundraisers on Facebook or elsewhere and saving it to use for themselves. Scammers do not care about what’s happening there; They only want to make money without caring who’s getting affected by it and making it more difficult for Palestine people to get the support they’re needing.
These scammers pretend they’re from Palestine or say their family is in Palestine and usually use a story that sounds real enough but may seem slightly flawed. They may be going around sending DMs asking for donations in private instead and their posts often have a Linktree link to obscure their PayPal. This is a recent development due to their scams getting called out so often they’ve tried to hide it but keep doing the same thing several times over. However, this isn’t to say everyone who uses that is scamming and most of the time these scammers don’t have any other link on it meaning it’s only purpose is to try and hide the PayPal link out of sight but it also means you can track where it appears! Usually a scam account will reuse links across their blogs and give away their scam.
Additionally, these scammers claiming to be in Palestine/have a family in Palestine often will insist they do what they’re doing for safety reasons if you start asking them questions about their methods. They’ll start getting details wrong, make excuses, and then tell you that you just don’t understand anything at all and that you’re attacking them because you just asked a few simple questions. There has been a case of a scammer who used photos of an American family in a hospital claiming they were in Palestine.
Unfortunately, these scams will only get more numerous in time and the scammers will try to profit off of it since there’s plenty of footage they can claim as their own and plenty of images/stories to steal and pass on as theirs. They will not tell you anything with honesty and will continue to lie for as long as they’d like. They don’t stop when called out and usually just change usernames at a rapid pace and block anyone who comments on their posts saying they’re a scammer.
As a result, here is some suggestions:
1. Donate only to verified sources that are confirmed to be going towards Palestine
2. Donate only to accounts who is verified to be someone who is a Palestine resident usually via other users who know them well
3. Always be wary of DMs from complete strangers asking for money on the spot if it’s a brand new account though older ones pop up trying scams too
4. Ask questions to those who send you DMs that only someone in Palestine would know the answer to. See what they know and how well they reply or see if they stop talking to you the instant you ask them anything. Alternatively, ask for their paypal-me link and see if they’re willing to give it to you. Type it into search and see where it goes. Pay attention to the country, the persons name, and the images they have. Record it for archiving purposes
5. Just be wary of asks sent that claim to be someone in Palestine/have a family in Palestine. As far as I know and can tell, these asks are rarely from legitimate users needing support but that’s not to say they’re all scams some may be real people
Overall, just please be careful out there and pay attention to where your money will go. Make sure it’s a verified support method and ensure the funds are going to who needs it. There are links out there that go to legitimate places, and users are free to share this and add them if they’d like.
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Thinking about how Inupi and Koko were introduced in an ambiguous way to make us think they were the bad guys and how their queerness was introduced ~after~ revealing they were positive characters and not to emphasize there was something wrong with them
I binge read the story from vol.9/ bloody Halloween to Senju’s introduction but ig that it must have been quite a journey to read chapters weekly and to see, step by step, how 🐶🈁,that were introduced as secondary characters, ended up with a quite surprisingly evolution, considering they’re not even main characters and that (beside’s Inupi’s connection with BD) their own tragic past isn’t related to the main plot.
Before their backstory, we see in both the presents TL (besides the final one) that when they’re together, they’re criminals...
and even Takemichi’s enemies in Manila TL.
Before the kidnapping, if we pay attention, the info we have about 🈁🐶 are that
they’re introduced as executives in the 1st Bad Toman TL-Inupi being protective ok Koko
they’re executives in Taiju’s BD
there’s a promise involved, but it’s unclear what it’s about
🐶 asks twice to 🈁 what he wants to do and Koko confirms he will stick with Inupi (fruity)
turns out it was 🐶 that wanted to recreate the BD (but we still don’t know why) and that 🈁 helped him introducing him Taiju
🐶🈁 join Takemichi’s division after the Christmas battle
once again are Toman’s dirigents in Manila TL, Taijusays somethin about Inupi's past with BD and Izana and Koko's being the gang wallet
bonus point, the homoerotic af inner cover of volume 14, where it seems like they're gonna kiss (and for a reason!)
At that point, readers/watchers have no reason to trust them and, beside the “promise/sticking with you” scene that implies something more, we knew nothing really “personal” about them.
So when they’re ambushed and for a moment the narration makes you think they’re the traitors, trying to blame Michi;the reader, just like Takemichi, has doubts, (love how Wakui drawn Inupi in such an ambiguous way lol) only to be immediately contradicted.
🈁🐶 genuinely have no bad intentions, they’re just trying to live without being used by others.
🐶 wanted to recreate the BD because (we learn later) Shin was his hero and the founder of BD (we already knew that from 2017!Taiju), but Taiju wanted 🈁 money making ability--->🈁 only listens to🐶(ch.141) and things finally makes sense,
🈁 sacrifices himself to save 🐶 and 🍀. In their hideout,🐶confirms he didn’t want BD to degenerate like that but it happened anyway, he himself got used to Izana's violent methods. He confirms he would die for 🈁 that has always been by his side even if he considers himself useless and 🍀 (and he readers) understand that 🈁🐶 are good kids at heart.
Now it’s established they’re with “the good guys”, Takemichi even compare his and Hina relationship to 🐶🈁, we get they care very much for the other.
The queer aspect starts being prominent from here.
And then ofc, the kiss.
But before that, just a reminder that, for a long time, queer coded villains had been a thing, especially when it wasn’t suitable to have explicit queer characters but you had to show they were evil, so you make them queer coded because it was not the norm (see many Disn&y villains); ofc in the story of literature/media there aren’t only examples of evil queer coded characters, there are positive characters too, it’s just an example and it happens also in Asian medias obviously.
It could have been “easy” for another writer or in different historical period to show the queerness of their relationship immediately, in one way or another to show, according old narrative styles, that we couldn’t trust them, only to subvert it later. But I really appreciate it was decided to give just a very small hint (promise/stick with you) and then later, once we are sure that’s they are good guys, another layer was added to their story, making us understand how traumatic, visceral and complicated their relationship is. Regardless of anyone’s personal interpretation, the queer factor in their subplot cannot be denied. There are 2 couple that kiss on screen, one is the male protagonist and his female love interest (granted, no one is surprised) and the other is kokonui.
🈁 was well aware of what he was doing and WHO was kissing. We see all of his torments, we understand why 🐶🈁 relationship is so complicated, why 🐶fears Koko doesn’t see him as Seishu but as Akane and why 🈁fears that Inupi is using him for money and his personal interest like everyone else.
Their kiss is treated by the narration with utmost respect and it essential to understand these characters (their official characters songs emphasize the importance of this moment as well).
And it’s important to humanize them, to add a layer, to give them complexity, not to vilify them. They realize that, even if they’re ready to do anything for the other, it’s getting impossible to be together, too many traumas and misunderstandings piled up Turing the years. They part still wishing the best to the other, which, considering they’re 16 and their traumatic past, is still more emotionally mature then many breakups between adults.
Do we want to talk about how the “characters having a moment in the rain” is literally a romantic trope?
Besides Bonten, where it’s implied they never saw each other again, in the last/Kanto Manji arc, it’s enough to see each other once (because in the end, 🈁 needed help and the person he trusts the most is still 🐶even after 2+ years they had no contacts) for 🐶 to understand that 🈁 is not okay.
For how rushed the final arc is (on a human level, I get that Wakui was burn out and had to finish asap), I really appreciate that he still found time to give a conclusion to 🐶🈁 sub plot that, more than any other secondary characters, was given the chance to evolve during the years and to reach a conclusion that was also a new beginning, because these traumas aren’t solved in a day, but now we know the elephant in the room has been faced, 🈁admitted his problems and decides to stay with 🐶 because that’s what he really wants. They have all the time to mend their relationship, this time with no fears nor misunderstandings
#tokyo revengers#kokonoi hajime#inui seishu#kokonui#inukoko#inui x koko#koko x inupi#tokyorev anime spoilers#zaenaris#zae talks about tr#tokyorev meta
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Triage: Initial Thoughts
Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage!
I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico!
Alright, let’s do this!
Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.
I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.
Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.
He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.
Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.
I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references.
I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death.
This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.
NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.
Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.
Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.
He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.)
He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.
In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth.
Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.
The simplest way to explain this is with this image:
When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image:
Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.
Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.
That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.
Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.
In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).
He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.
VOTE: INNOCENT
Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.
Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.
I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.
#admin venus#milgram#ミルグラム#kirisaki shidou#shidou kirisaki#milgram theory#i'd like to apologize if this is incoherent#i moved around a bunch of paragraphs and i don't wanna proofread rn#i have to pack and go home for spring break tomorrow and it's already 5 am#the lights only just came back on recently#it's been a power out for a while over here which is why the other admins were talking about battery so much#also the mv didn't have english subs right at the drop so we watched in french for a hot minute#that was fun#also apologies if i'm too much of a shidou apologist but legit i feel like his crime is at least extremely understandable#and he does genuinely seem to want to help#the audio drama made me emo though ngl#like... oh... THAT'S why you were commenting on Es being a kid and all that so much...#i lost my train of thought. anyways have your initial thoughts#i'm gonna try to get the futa/mu/shidou full theories up over the next week or so cause break
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Revenant Side Stories:
Story I: Konchar
[Main Fic] [AO3]
I am back! Still drowning in uni work... but I wanted to get this out of my brain first.
I had a few ideas for oneshots for Revenant AU, from the POV of other characters, expanding on events detailed in the main fic and leading to part 2.
At this point it's obvious I'm going to write part 2 (I have too many nice ideas for it haha), but I think I'll do the new AU first, since it will probably be shorter and I'm excited about it rn. While doing that, I'll add more side stories. I already got a few ideas, but if you want to see someone specific, you can suggest them!
Now, let's get to Konchar's story...
Four soldiers lay motionless on the cracked pavement of Verdansk, the British flag on their tacvest almost blending with their blood.
Konchar wipes his brow. The air is much warmer here than he remembered. It’s been only a few months since he left, since he deserted his country for an ultranationalist Russian. He breathes in deeply, the settling dust from the short battle coating his lungs.
It was far too easy to kill the Brits. None of them were Revenants, and so all they had were guns and bullets. Those stopped working on him since he died.
Konchar examines his surroundings, looking for the fifth. He remembers well what Makarov has told him, the words etched in his mind with burning fear.
“Go to Verdansk. An SAS Squad has been tasked with bringing you in, but they do not know your revenant status.” The man held Konchar close, an almost gentle touch to the way he clasped his neck and pulled him closer, if not for his next words.
“One of them will be a revenant, and he will try to kill you. You must kill him first, Kirill. It is imperative for our goal that the British revenant is dead.” The hand on his neck tightens, and Konchar’s gaze fleets to Makarov’s eyes, their flat and dead quality sucking the air out of him.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, Commander.”
Konchar pushes off the ground, looking back at the broken bodies he left behind one last time. They’re but a necessary sacrifice for a greater good, he tells himself. He has no doubts anymore, not since he began working under the Revenant of Fate himself.
Makarov knows best.
He searches methodically, the area not unfamiliar to him. This part of the city is mostly abandoned, underfunded construction projects left unfinished after one of the many economical collapses in Kastovia sunk its claws into his country. They have suffered far too long, with the world turning a blind eye.
As per Makarov’s orders, other Konni group soldiers wired a huge amount of explosives in one of the many crumbling buildings, a trap that Konchar initially thought failed when he heard the detonation going off while he was fighting the Brits.
He’s once again proven wrong, to ever question Makarov’s insight. Perhaps the bombs have taken care of the revenant for him. Still, he must confirm the kill.
The ruins are still burning when Konchar reaches the building, and he squints at the bright flames. No one can survive that, unless they have a supernatural immunity.
A trail in the dry earth catches his attention. Brown-red blood mixed with the dirt, tilling through like someone dragged themselves away from the devastation. Konchar flexes his hands, feeling the broken concrete answer to him and follow his will.
He walks along the path, winding around broken walls, until he finds a man, and he freezes.
The man has yet to notice him. Laying on the ground, he grasps at the cracked asphalt with torn fingernails, heaving and shaking. Seems like he didn’t have an immunity after all, perhaps a healing power of sorts.
It matters not. Won’t save the revenant now.
Konchar almost takes pity on the man, and decides to pull out his pistol. He barely uses guns anymore, but he kept this for sentimentality, of all things. It reminds him of a time when he still belonged with living beings.
He takes a step closer, and the man sharply turns. Bright blue eyes, bloodshot and open wide, stare at him.
“You… you did this?”
Konchar tilts his head, “the explosion? One of my colleagues.”
The man lowers his gaze to Konchar’s pistol, “and… my squad?”
The safety clicks off, “Mine.”
The soldier stares down the barrel for a single moment, before lunging at Konchar with a growl.
“YOU FUCKIN’-”
Konchar shoots his head. The body crashes back down. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
His gut churns. Something feels… wrong. How did the soldier know his squad was dead?
He sighs, turning to leave. He can ponder it over on the flight back, for now, he still has to extract and relay to Makarov that the revenant is dead.
Ribbons appear out of thin air and bind him in place. Konchar frowns at them. If they’re here, that means his Reaper-
“Not dead not dead not dead NOT DEAD.”
Konchar barely swings around before the ribbons pull him forward, and from the edge of his vision he can see…
The revenant, hands bursting with fire.
An animalistic scream tears through the air, and for the first time since he was alive, Konchar feels unadulterated horror.
Konchar grasps at the concrete chunks he trailed behind him, flinging them at the rage-full soldier.
The man sneers, clawing his way through them, hands leaving charred remains as they explode the ruins to dust. Konchar has to scramble back when they swipe at him, barely getting out of their way.
The air around them burns, each inhale he takes scorches his throat. In the back of his head, Konchar knows he can win this fight. This man is no different to the tanks, the jet fighters, the armies he felled.
And yet, his body screams at him to run away. Just please, run far away.
But Makarov rings through his memories, and Konchar remembers he is a soldier, the most powerful revenant of the East.
And this man cannot be allowed to live.
Konchar drags his arms forward, bringing with him an avalanche of iron and stone and dirt, burying the unnatural flame of this hellish revenant.
But the soldier continues to burn, shatter, decimate all in his path.
That is fine. They’re in a forest of buildings. Konchar has enough ammunition to destroy dozens of revenants the likes of him.
He cannot lose this fight.
His arms burn. Not from fire but from his own powers. Pain shoots through his veins in a spidery web, in a way that would paralyze a weaker man.
Konchar started losing confidence as the minutes trickled by, as the world around him looked less and less like the city he used to know, and more like hell. And if this is hell, the revenant in front of him must be the devil himself, reigning over the broken land.
Konchar throws another building at him, only for the soldier to wave it aside as if it was nothing. The explosions blind him momentarily, and then they’re back at it, Konchar walking backwards, throwing anything he could get a grasp on, and the soldier stepping closer, eradicating and destroying.
They have moved far enough that they’re close to the inhabited parts of Verdansk. If this goes on…
Konchar cannot imagine this man stopping after he wins against him. If Konchar dies, who says he won’t continue? Who says he won’t turn the entire city to his own hellscape?
No, this is an uncontrolled force, a rabid dog. He must be put down.
Yet, Konchar feels his power waning. No one else would stand a chance against this revenant. He needs to finish this, now.
Feeling at the closest building, he knows what he must do. Even if it pains him greatly to inflict this on his own people. Konchar prays they understand, in the life after this, why he had to. Why this is the lesser of evils.
Konchar snarls and drags a spasming hand, lifting a residential building, feeling the hundreds of beating hearts race within as they yell.
He screams at the revenant, “IF YOU DON’T STOP THIS, I’LL KILL ALL OF THEM!” his face twists, voice cracking, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LET HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT CIVILIANS DIE, DO YOU?!”
The world slows for a heartbeat, as the revenant stills.
For a heartbeat, Konchar feels victorious.
And in the next, the revenant charges at him, an inhuman shriek breaking through his throat.
Konchar, on instinct, blocks the monster with the building.
He feels dozens of bodies break in an instance, wails suffocated by ruin, living beings silenced and cut short.
Wide eyes, Konchar can only stare as this… beast tears through human lives as if they were dirt under his feet, uncaring of their pleas.
“You… You… Monster…..” he mutters.
Something within Konchar breaks. What he’s fighting against can’t be reasoned with. This is not a soldier with honor, a revenant with a reason, a man with faith.
This, this is a horror. Destruction personified, the darkest pit of human nature.
He grabs another building, desperation boiling over as Konchar swings another set of people to certain doom. He silently begs any Reaper watching for an answer, a way to defeat this demon.
How, how could he win?! How else could he fight, how do you put out this never-ending fire?!
Tears start tracking down his face, his chin wobbles as he hears screams choke and die. He can’t do this anymore. He can’t lead any more lives to slaughter. His body is tired, he is tired.
And so, Konchar lets go.
The revenant rushes forward, path no longer blocked, and Konchar feels a strange calm washing over him.
As the monster sends its burning palm to his head, Konchar is almost glad that it will be over soon.
At least, he can rest. He won’t have to live in the same world as this beast.
Perhaps there is some humanity left to him, as Konchar’s heart twists. No, he won’t have to share a world with him, but everyone else will. And what kind of world can this devil bring, if not one of total chaos?
No. He can’t die here, to this demon. The world’s fate is on his shoulders, he MUST kill him.
“You can’t you can’t YOU CAN’T” a voice echos in his mind.
He begs, “Reaper… please. Lend me more power, let me defeat him. For the sake of the world!”
“I care not for it I care not for them I CANNOT HELP YOU.”
“Please-”
“Our deal Kirill OUR DEAL IS DONE.” his Reaper screams, “DEATH HAS COME. WE HAVE NO EARS FOR YOU NOW.”
“NO! REAPER!!!-”
As fingers curl around his skull, Konchar can feel his powers leaving him, the gift he received being pulled away.
And he remembers distant words, a false prophecy. Makarov is never wrong. It was not this revenant that was destined to die here, he realizes.
As fire brightens his vision, Konchar shuts his eyes.
And he curses, Makarov and Reapers and this monster, for letting him die.
As his skin breaks, and flames lick his bones, Konchar exhales.
And he mourns the world.
That it has to live with this man.
His head hurts, is the first coherent thought Soap can remember. It’s a sharp sort of pain, as if someone is scraping at it from the inside.
He blinks around, confused. Ruins and flames surround him. Where is he?
As Soap takes a step forward, his boots hit something. He looks down and jumps back when he understands what it is.
The body is so mangled, Soap didn’t register it at first, limbs thrown in odd angles, and its head…
Gone.
“What…” Soap mutters, automatically bringing a hand up to brush at his hair before stilling.
His breathing picks up when he watches fire dance around his fingertips, yet it doesn’t burn him.
A moth, radiant and otherworldly, lands on his outstretched hand, and Soap instantly remembers.
Bombs, explosion, Reaper. His squad, dead, him, reborn for the sake of revenge. Konchar, the bullet, and-
“No…” Soap blinks, turning around, hyperventilating.
The world stares back, broken and bleeding. In the cracks and rubble, in the remains, a message is carved for him.
“This is your doing. This? Is your fault.”
“No…!”
The flames on his hands grow bigger, twin lights of the inferno around him.
“NO!”
Soap yells, but no one answers. There is no one left to answer.
He begs and cries. He pleads to the Reapers.
“Please…not this… I didn’t… want this…..”
But his calls are left unheard.
In the hours to come, a squad will come find Soap, as they search for the missing team.
They will find no one else, nothing else but a terrible cradle, made of debris and dust, of innocent blood and splintered bones.
The birthing place of the Revenant of Destruction.
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod soap#john soap mactavish#kirill konchar bogomolov#revenant au#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#cod fic#cod fanfic#this wont make sense unless you've read the main fic!#so if you dont feel like reading like 68k words feel free to skip this one lol#kirill my beloathed... if only you didnt listen to makarov man#this was fun to write bc i got to show how soap's enemies view him#a horrible monster :)
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Hello!
Alec's Trueblood lines possibly making him the angelic equivalent to Magnus' level of royalty in Edom.
Perhaps a young warlock gets a summoning wrong and traps an angel (well, not quite an angel) in a circle instead of a greater demon.
oooooh okay so i jumped on this like a preying mantis on a grasshopper okay! i went a little bit of a different route so Alec could finally kick some ass and Magnus is a little out of it but this is basically. i hope you enjoy!
Trueblood Shadow!heir Alec is summoned instead of an angel across time and dimensions. No one has a good time
-
Magnus is wondering how he’s going to get them out of this, if he’s going to be able to get anyone besides himself free and safe from the nephilim currently using Magnus and four other warlocks to try and power their ritual. They’re summoning an angel, they said.
Their faces smug as terror had filled everyone around him and Magnus had known that out of all of them, he’s the only one who will survive. No angel will risk Asmodeus' wrath by smiting Magnus, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt. That his heart can’t be ripped apart as he watches warlock children shivering in fear from where Magnus’ hopes his protective magic and shield will keep them safe and invisible.
It’s the shadowhunters fault in the end, but Magnus still blames the warlocks who tries to save themselves by selling out what the nephilim considered ‘untrained power vessels’ and Magnus had arrived in time to stop the transaction and save the children, but the other warlocks he was fighting and himself were taken down. Magnus personally will let every drop of magic be drained from the adults around him and if he can, he’s going to rip it free from the array and use it to protect the children, some mere babes.
There’s a crackle of lightning and Magnus can feel the shock wave as the ritual starts, as frost fills the air until each breath crystallizes. At the sight of ice growing on the walls of the abandoned ruins they’re enclosed in, across the broken floor and up the crumbling towers.
A storm rages around them but for once, the rain no longer slips through, freezing and pausing in the air, a piece of captured starlight in crystal form, cold and bright and glittering all around him. It’s beautiful and terrifying and Magnus tries so hard not to feel fear but for the first time in a long time, Magnus wonders if he’s miscalculated.
The summoning was a success he realizes and Magus knows then that he never thought it would be, that he’d deluded himself into thinking he could hold out until Ragnor or Cat show up. Instead he watches as the world turns dark except for the icy stars and then there’s a crack, like a glacier being broken open and everyone who isn’t magically secured and bound to the array is blown back. Some of the shadowhunters remain conscious but it’s with vicious glee that Magnus watches as several of them get smashed into the stones of the decaying castle with splintering cracks of bone that echo in the hollow silence.
The being is glowing, a silver blue light that is an ethereal wisp as the being slowly floats to the ground, four large, long wings trailed out behind it. The eyes look a silver, inhuman blue, more lines criss crossing and overlapping than an iris and a pupil. It casts a long, writhing shadow that is less in the shape of the angel and more in the shape of a hungry maw.
“What is this?” It asks and Magnus is surprised by the low, smooth almost soothing timbre of the voice. Though, Magnus thinks, it would make unfortunate sense if angels were able to charm with their voices, probably why the mundanes accepted the stupid offer from Raziel in the first place.
“Great angel—” one still standing shadowhunter starts. “Forgive us for bringing you here with such disgusting methods.” He kicks at one of the, no longer necessary Magnus supposes, warlocks. “We are indeed of your divine righteousness! To help us cleanse the world of downworlder scum.”
“Are you serious right now?” the being asks and Magnus wonders if he has a concussion because he could swear the angel sounds confused. "Is that? Why is my husband here?”
And suddenly everything goes very wrong, for the shadowhunters.
Because the angel is beyond furious and Magnus watches with a thrilled sense of horror as what looked like long, soft plumage shudders and shines and turns to pure, sharp and deadly adamas. The shadowhunters all gasp and kneel in delighted awe and shadows peel from the floor to wrap around them as the angel steps out of the array, crossing over to a kneeling form and Magnus watches as two of them are beheaded with the easy flap of a razor sharp wing-tip. And then the angel spins, wings flared out and like arrows, feathers shoot out, finding the necks of every shadowhunters still breathing.
“Oh fuck, just what did they do?” Magnus is being asked next, instead of that deadly plumage in his own neck and he’s looking into eyes that look hazel under the inhuman blue. Then cool hands are pulling him up, picking him from the ground. “Magnus?” And then Magnus feels a hand against the side of his neck but instead of squeezing, there is pure ice being delivered into him, cold, powerful energy that burns as it writhes through him and replenishes his reserves. “Summoning a fucking angel, honestly. I thought we were done with this bullshit. Of all the things, I swear if this is because we ate the cup that one time, I’m going to be pissed.”
“You ate a cup?” Magnus finds himself asking which is still better than commenting that an angel swears. Especially when he's dazed and still shocked by how gently he’s being touched, by how powerful and invulnerable he suddenly feels. “That doesn’t seem very tasty.” Because it doesn't and honestly, Magnus feels disappointed, he'd rather have learned angels didn't eat or only drank ambrosia than learn they eat dishes.
“Oh gods, fuck you’re high as a kite on magical shock. Okay, babe what do I need to do, what are my priorities?”
“You’re going to listen to me?” Magnus asks because while shadowhunters might think they can command an ancient being, Magnus never once has made that same assumption.
“Of course.” He’s promised and what feels like a kiss is pressed to the top of his head. “I always listen to you—” and there is a muttered ‘mostly’ that he misses. “As long as you don’t try to convince me that the best way to get over something that makes me angry is to set it on fire, again. I’m not sure Imogen’s office can survive a second inferno.”
“They can stay. Trapped.” Magnus clarified, because he doesn’t want the other warlocks dead. He wants them strung up in front of the council and verbally and physically lashed until their blood and pain is a tenth of the terror the children they stole felt.
“Okay, and the kids? Are they safe to move? Are any of them hurt? Are they coming with us?”
“Yes.” Magnus says because he can’t leave them here and the angel he knows is better than the one he doesn’t. “With me.”
“Mkay, I’m going to send a message to Cat.” And Magnus wonders how this being knows Cat and if it’s reading his mind, “okay. I’m not going to message Cat.” But instead of a fire message he brings out some strange, eldritch artifact that glows and hums angrily at its wielder. “Okay, no service. Great. Well, a fire message won’t work since she’s still at the Labyrinth. You have enough energy for a portal?”
Magnus does, somehow but he’s still surprised when he’s led over to the hidden children and the angel helps him stay upright. Hold him as Magnus opens a portal and then keeps him on his feet as Magnus sends the children through. He closes the portal instantly and opens a new one, not wanting to take the angel to the children, even if Magnus doubts a change in portal would truly stop him.
Magnus gets through the portal and then the angel, his angel that is still following him obediently shudders, a look of shock on his face as he takes in the lair and something hopeless and heartbreaking when he turns and now in a place with proper lighting, Magnus marvels at how human it’s face is.
“Magnus?” He’s asked and Magnus nods, because obviously he is and then his angel’s wings flutter, its expression falling and it’s dropping in what almost looks like a faint, a strange, fallen image of divinity.
Magnus summons a drink and lets himself slump, still staring at the angel as he wonders just what he’s gotten himself into this time.
#writing wednesdays#writing wednesday#malec#shadowhunters#shadowunters au#magnus bane#alec lightwood#alec trueblood#lumine writes#my fics#my fanfics#my ficlets
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Hi! I’m a big fan of your SW takes (particularly ones addressing the criticism towards Jedi) lol
I was wondering what you thought of the Deception arc in TCW? Personally with most of the Jedi’s decisions during TCW i feel like they’re making the best choices they can, but with this arc it seems almost uncharacteristically cruel. Even if Anakin had not been attached to Obi-Wan (which the council surely knew he was?), his death would’ve been very painful to Anakin. Doesn’t that kind of go against Jedi compassion and the kindness we consistently see?
Again I’d love your take on this, but either way I’ll continue to enjoy your blog in the future!
Hey @soopisoop! Thank you very much for the kind words 🙌! I'm glad to hear you enjoy the posts!
So I lightly touched on the "Obi-Wan undercover" arc in this older, more general post about Anakin's relationship with the Jedi Council, but, hey, let's zoom in!
Not telling Anakin... was wrong. Plain and simple.
Yoda says so himself.
But the train of thought was:
"The chancellor - leader of the free world - is gonna die if we don't do this, so the stakes are high. We gotta send Obi-Wan deep undercover behind enemy lines, but Anakin is very close to him and known for being volatile, so there's a 50/50 chance he'll go AWOL and fuck the mission up and those are unacceptable odds."
It's not an excuse, but a justification.
And, in a slightly different context, Anakin seems to use this justification too.
Hell, if anything, Anakin thinks the Jedi should employ even harsher methods in the war and that their values are holding them back.
It's just that, in this case, it hit closer to home.
There's a "hypocrisy" argument to be made, but honestly... that's the Clone War in a nutshell for you!
The Jedi repeatedly told the Senate and the Chancellor "please don't ask us to fight, we're not made for this, we're diplomats, we act on compassion not violence”...
... because they knew that's what the war would force them to do: compromise on their values, tarnish every principle that defines them and that they hold dear, turn them into hypocrites.
Yes, the Jedi are compassionate, but they're also at war, and they're forced to pick between two shitty choices on the daily.
And the deciding factor, EVERY time, is not "which option is the better/more compassionate one" but "which option does less damage?"
Lying to Anakin is just one of these hard "no other choice" choices.
And EVERY time they see an opportunity to step back from the fighting and let diplomacy start again, guess what Palpatine says?
"Fuck you, go back to the front."
And when you listen to Dave Filoni's commentary on this arc, it turns out that this whole plan by Dooku and Morallo Eval was actually engineered by Palpatine to:
1) Distance him even further from the Jedi so Palpatine can swoop in and manipulate him more and more.
2) Set the board for another Anakin vs Dooku confrontation, to gauge how much more powerful Anakin has become.
"Y’know, ultimately, what we realize is that the whole thing is a fake-out on the Jedi. That Dooku is conspiring with Sidious to set-up this whole bounty hunter plot to make the Jedi believe that they have once again saved the day, and it’s all an effort to get Anakin isolated.
So what I really liked about this story that, y’know— as George handed it out, was: we tell the story that’s really about Anakin and Palpatine trying to tempt him to the Dark Side… and we tell it more from Obi-Wan’s point of view.
And you see this whole other tale that’s going on, and we check in with Palpatine and Anakin every now and then, until finally, it’s really about them and their struggle. And we see that this is a point that Anakin really wasn’t ready to become the Sith apprentice. He wasn’t strong enough, I think there’s a possibility that Dooku would’ve killed him here."
- Dave Filoni, The Clone Wars: “Obi-Wan undercover” video commentary, 2012
So, again, like... sure. The Jedi made a mistake.
But ultimately, had Palpatine not hatched this particular plan, hell, had he not engineered a whole war designed to corrupt the Jedi's morals... that mistake would never have been made in the first place.
To use an analogy:
If a dude tries to make his way in a pitch black room (the Jedi playing catch-up to Sidious' plans) and steps on a Lego brick (their mistakes)... you don't blame him for it, you blame the guy who turned the light off and emptied the Lego box on the floor in the first place (Sidious).
#long post#The Clone Wars#in defense of the jedi#star wars#jedi order#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#deception arc#meta#QnA#jedi#as soopisoop put it in the comments...#it may have been the Jedi's mistake but it wasn't the Jedi's fault
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There are parents out there who are worried they'll do something wrong and mess up their kids; they are the ones who read all the books and look at the research, and ask for advice, and they sometimes don't know how to handle the problems right away, but they go with kindness first, and mostly worry about how they're doing as parents; they understand it's not a part of parenting to put judgment on your child.
And then there's abusive parents who decide, with the confidence of god, that one single solution fits all problems: blame the child + punish the child. No matter what the hell is going on, the first thing they'll reliably do is blame the kid for it happening, and the punish the kid. The child is sick? Blame and neglect them. The kid needs clothing or resources you don't feel like buying? Blame the kid for your financial situation and for wearing out whatever clothes they had, punish them with shame for needing things. Kid is being molested by a neighbour/family member? Blame the child for daring to speak out and punish them by allowing more of abuse to happen. The kid struggles in school? Blame them and take away whatever makes them happy as a punishment.
And they're so goddamn confident they're doing everything right, when there's absolutely nothing to be confident about. They won't even allow themselves to experience the negative consequences of such parenting, using the exact same trick: Child shows signs of trauma from all of the shame, guilt, and unjust punishment? They blame the child for having feelings and punish them into silence.
And they act like their methods are better, like being confident is better than being unsure, having less fuss about the child is better, saving money is better, and feeling zero blame is better. They even have the goddamn nerve to say that 'they did the best they could'. The hell they did. They treated nobody else in the world as badly as their own child. They knew goddamn well it was the worst of the worst.
Being unsure is better. Being insecure is better. Being anxious and trying different things out is better. Understanding that you control the circumstances, not the child, is better. Reading is better, asking for advice is better, being lost is better. Acknowledging you might not do it all perfect, but being there for the child when they need you, is better. Anything is better than blaming and punishing the child for every single thing they go thru. Confidence mixed with abuse is what destroys children.
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Cap-Ironman Rec Week - It’s About The Yearning Tuesday
Slightly controversial opinion - pining isn’t the trope I seek out most often? So the kind of fics that hit me the hardest are usually interesting/compelling/poignant takes on this fandom staple. So without further ado:
Overhaul by Annie D (scaramouche)
Steve knows that Tony has feelings for him and, since he doesn’t return those feelings, has been mildly dreading the day that Tony decides to do something about it. When that day finally arrives, Steve discovers that Tony’s wooing strategy isn’t anything at all like he’d expected.
Notes: Featuring a Tony whose methods of pining include trying to be a better version of himself (however he defines it) and expressing his actual emotions instead of angsty repression and I just... love it so very much? It’s a take on the SteveTony dynamic in general that I really, truly enjoyed.
inside my shell-shaped mind by Mizzy
Before Ikaris of the Eternals died along with the rest of his people, he gave Tony Stark the power of the Uni-Mind, a power Tony used in order to help stop the Horde from destroying the universe.
The Magistrati are the Living Tribunal's enforcers of Universal Law. They are the judges, jurors, and advocates of the universe. And Tony’s Uni-Mind ability has been judged too dangerous: he must be put to death.
Steve thinks he has a solution. To save Tony's life, he must undergo an intimate version of the Uni-Mind known as the Gann Josin, a type of bonding that creates a mental union between two people...and makes them lifelong soulmates.
Well, it's probably not the oddest way to save someone's life, but it's certainly not going to be easy. Especially when Tony seems determined that the bond should be broken, as soon as possible. (Set just after War of the Realms #4.)
Notes: You know that very specific trope where two characters have to get bonded or married for the greater good, but also they’d very much like it for their personal good, because pining? This is it, and boy is it a joyous ride.
All-Time Low by Sineala
Tony's lost his company to Obadiah Stane. He's lost it all: his money, his friends, his Avengers team... and his sobriety. Drunk, homeless, Tony is living on the streets, and when he runs out of liquor money, he sells the only thing he has left: his body. And one day, he has the exact wrong customer.
Notes: Oh, the angst. Oh the pain. This is pining intermingled with guilt, shame, self-hatred, and you’d think you wouldn’t be up for that intensity but it’s written so beautifully, and the pining definitely goes both ways, though not self-articulated. Couldn’t recommend it more.
Marvels: The Bloodstone Odyssey by teaberryblue
The year is 1940. In the middle of the Blitz, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts set out to London to recover Howard Stark's lost work. But it turns out that they're not the only ones hunting for it. Tony finds himself contending with Nazis, crooks, and perhaps his most formidable adversary yet: a scrawny, asthmatic, bullheaded kid named Steve Rogers.
Notes: I wasn’t going to have a pining! reclist without Marvel Noir, come on. Handsome adventurer Tony Stark meets pre-serum Steve Rogers? Best dynamic, sign me the hell up. And love the pulpy-inspired plot to go with it <3
Wake Up Someday by thepartyresponsible
Steve relaxes back against his chair. He takes a quick look – just checking, just making sure – over his shoulder, and he gets an unexpected and vaguely life-changing glimpse of Tony’s ass, as he bends over the pool table to line up his shot.
When he looks back, Bucky’s staring over Steve’s shoulder, a familiar, dumb, dreamy look on his face. Steve feels something catch in his chest.
“Oh,” he says. He clears his throat. God, he’s an idiot. He is an idiot. “Him, huh?”
“Yeah,” Bucky says. He catches the corner of his mouth with his teeth, but it’s not enough to fight off the stupid grin lighting up his whole damn face. “That’s the one,” he says, low and fond.
Notes: Aww, Steeb <3 Rest assured, this doesn’t feature Steve or Tony with other characters, just Steve being - in his words - an idiot. Just some delicately fluffy, poignant, idiotic pining goodness.
Gift With Purchase Remix by sabrecmc
Gift With Purchase Remix wherein Steve actually is a hooker. But for a Really Sympathetic Reason.
Notes: You also know that trope where Steve and Tony are very much sleeping with each other but also pining? Yes there’s some delightful miscommunication/assumptions in this one, but also the power dynamic at play makes things a lot more complicated, and I quite enjoy that nuance in my pining fic actually :D
Someone To Love by blue_jack
What does it matter that it’d been because of Loki and his damn magic? He’d fallen in love with Steve once. He can do it again.
Notes: Okay, this one’s a bit of an ambiguous squeeze into this category, but I had to get it in okay? There’s magic induced feelings, and then all the fallout and pining when the magic goes away, and it’s so interesting when Steve and Tony aren’t quite in the same place emotionally at different points of time, that it makes the ending all that much sweeter.
Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree by Annie D (scaramouche)
Steve doesn’t mind that Tony doesn’t return his feelings. He just would've preferred if it didn’t come with the side effect of his coughing up flowers and possibly dying.
Notes: Oh look, it’s the ‘what if pining away wasn’t actually metaphorical’ flower disease :D I’ve always loved the way this author writes emotions though - Steve’s pining has peaks and troughs, he suffers but also loves, and in such a Steve way.
And that’s it for the day! Remember not to repress those feelings, and show the authors all your love in kudos and comments!
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Lo-Fi: Final Part
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.7k
Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill
Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated
You and Cooper step off the subway on 14th Street station, trying not to stand out as someone who isn't supposed to be there.
"I know you're with Spencer, but if we're undercover, then maybe we should act like a couple," he says.
"Look, you're nice and charming, but we both know you'd never actually cheat on your wife. You love her too much."
"Fine, you got me there," he chuckles nervously.
Everyone is bustling around to and from the subway, but you're looking out for anyone suspicious. All of a sudden, you get a sickening feeling that something isn't right. There are thousands of people walking by you, but there is only one that stands out. Even if you haven't seen what he looks like, you can feel the sinister motive one of your unsubs have.
"What's wrong?" Cooper asks.
"He's here. I can feel him."
"You can feel it?"
You don't have time to explain what you can do.
"Hotch, he's here. I can feel him. He's close by," you say into the microphone embedded into your jacket sleeve.
Just then, you and Cooper hear a gunshot go off, and you know you're too late. You're too late to save a life, but you're not too late to catch the culprit. You take off running without waiting for an answer, and Cooper has no choice but to follow you.
You turn the corner onto 16th Street and see the unsub running towards you. As soon as you two lock eyes, he quickly turns and runs the other way. Cooper sees who you're after, and he picks up the pace. The man's looks are seared into your brain so that even if he gets away, you can tell his description to a sketch artist.
"We got him, Hotch," you say into the microphone.
Cooper is faster than you since you have heels on, but you try your hardest to catch up with him. The unsub turns onto Broadway, but he doesn't continue. Cooper turns the same corner, and the unsub is waiting for him with a gun pointed right at him.
The unsub shoots Cooper in the side, and the detective falls to the ground. You run into the open and point your own gun at the unsub. He hesitates, and you take that opportunity to shoot him twice in the chest. He immediately falls down, and Cooper groans in pain.
He is going to be okay, so you go to the unsub first, but he isn't moving. You grab his gun before retreating back to Cooper.
"Penelope! Hotch! We've got an officer down at 16th west of Union Square!" you say to the other agents listening in. "You're going to be okay, Cooper. Please, stay with me."
You place your hands over his chest, watching as his blood spills over your hands. The ambulance sirens come closer before screeching to a halt behind you. The rest of your team comes in seconds later, and you pull away from Cooper so the paramedics can tend to his wounds.
The ones that aren't taking care of Cooper are taking care of the unsub. Once stable, Cooper is taken away by a gurney and placed into the back of the ambulance.
"Are you okay?" Derek asks you.
"Yeah I'm fine. Cooper lost a lot of blood though," you sigh and wipe your blood stained hands on your black slacks.
"Did they ID that guy yet?" you ask about the unsub.
"No, there isn't any ID on him."
"Figures," you scoff. "I shouldn't have had to shoot him."
"Y/N, stop. He shot a cop. You did what you had to do," Derek says seriously.
"No, not that. He was ahead of us by a long shot. He would have gotten away if he kept running. Instead, he stopped and waited."
"Maybe he felt trapped and figured he'd shoot his way out," JJ suggests.
"I don't know. There's something more to this. It's like they're terrorists or something." You can see the doubt on your coworker's faces. "Think about it. This guy is as cool as can be and shoots somebody two blocks from where Cooper and I were standing. He has no ID on him, and he waits for us to catch up to him."
"What are you saying?"
"I think they're distractions. I think shooting people isn't murder but a way to keep the police busy while they get ready for something else."
"I think she's right," Hotch backs you up. "Good work, Y/N."
"Thank you, sir," you smile.
"We need to go over the profile and see what we missed."
Once the unsub was declared dead, Cooper got taken to the hospital, and the crime scene was taped off, your team headed to the FBI building.
"So, how does this work?" Kate asks.
"The murderers simulate a bombing. From there, they station someone to watch and gauge police response time," Spencer explains. "At which point, they know when to bring in a second bomb."
"The goal is always to take out the first round of civilians, followed by a second wave of emergency responders."
"It's crazy, but it's ingenious. They get a practice run, and if someone catches the shooter, they think they just have a murderer. The cell isn't compromised," Spencer says.
"It's Lo-Fi," Kate says. "It's the smartest way to plan for a terrorist event. Creating panic ensures that they see the most urgent response times short of a bombing."
"There's been seven different shooters?" JJ asks.
"Having followers do the shootings would ensure they're willing to kill or be killed for the cause," Derek shrugs.
"It fits the profile. There is something larger at play. It's similar to gang initiation, especially if they're home-grown. They haven't had a chance to prove themselves."
"I think they're targeting points of entry. All the murders have taken place near a bridge or a tunnel," Spencer says, pointing to the map he's been working o this entire time.
"Holland Tunnel, Midtown Tunnel, and Manhattan Bridge," you mutter. "If bombs went off, Emergency Response would shut down all entry and exits from the city. People will be trapped on Manhattan Island. It's what they want. Thousand of people with nowhere to go. Thousands of victims."
"Keep in mind it's still a theory, just like any profile," Hotch says.
Derek's phone rings and he places Penelope on speakerphone.
"Talk to us, Garcia."
"We got a problem. I went through and checked all four thousand, four hundred and sixty-eight cameras. They hacked into the surveillance system. They've got footage of every crime scene. They've been watching since the beginning."
"How could we not have caught that?" Hotch asks.
"They were smart. It wasn't system-wide, so they had to check each camera individually."
"Is this from every crime scene?" Emily asks.
"I'm afraid so. They hacked into one camera at every scene."
"So much for theory," Rossi scoffs.
"We need to hit the ground running," Kate says.
"I'll head to the hospital. I'll check on Cooper and brief Detective Brustin," Emily offers since you're needed here more than she is.
"Tell me how he is," you say as she leaves.
"Dave, will you go talk to the commissioner? Morgan, you brief Homeland Security," Hotch says, and the two men gather their things before leaving.
"JJ and I will talk to the port authority police," Spencer offers.
"Kate, Y/N, and I will go talk to the mayor, and we'll meet back here as soon as possible. Y/N you don't mind coming with us?"
"No, sir," you shake your head.
As soon as he asks, your body felt pulled in his direction. Something is telling you to be with him, and you have to listen to it.
"The one advantage that we have right now is that they don't know we know they're watching," Kate says.
JJ is about to head out with Spencer when she gets a manilla folder. Upon opening it, her whole attitude changes. There is a letter inside and something chunky that is still left inside, like a present of sorts.
"What is it?" you ask.
"It's from Will. He's going home to New Orleans tonight. He doesn't want to be in the way," she whispers.
"JJ, are you okay?" She reaches inside the folder and removes Will's police badge as if he is quitting his job. "He's quitting?"
Hotch comes over and sees the look of concern on JJ's face.
"Do you need everyone in the field?"
"Reid, take Y/N with you to Port Authority. JJ, you can run point here at the office. Go back to the hotel, tell Will what's going on, then come back here straight away."
JJ smiles and she immediately leaves before Will can get on a plane.
"Actually, Hotch, I'd rather be with you and Kate if that's okay."
Hotch looks between you and Spencer but shrugging, giving his silent okay. He walks away, and you turn to Spencer with an apologetic look.
"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Spencer. Something is telling me not to leave Hotch. If I stay with him, I might be able to warn him if something does come. I'm hoping not, but I have to be with him and Kate."
"Okay, I understand. Please, be safe. Do you know what's coming?"
"It doesn't work like that," you chuckle. "I promise to be safe."
You two kiss goodbye before you, Kate, and Hotch leave the FBI building. The car is parked on a desolate road, and that's when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up straight. There, right in front of your standard-issued SUV, is a man, and he's kneeling on the ground by the car.
When he pulls away, you know exactly what he had just done. There is a bomb in this car, and if you don't do anything to stop it, you, Kate, and Hotch are going to die. This is it. This is why you needed to go with Hotch. The fact that Hotch and Kate don't see the man is because he's a vision.
The energy he left behind is enough for you to paint this picture.
Hotch takes out the keys to the car and hovers his thumb over the unlock button.
"No!" you yell, and time seems to slow down all around you. "It's a bomb!"
The person closest to you is Hotch, and you tackle him to the ground just as the car explodes in a fit of flames. Kate is blown back from the shock, and you and Hotch are rolled away from the impact. Your head hits the ground hard enough for you to see stars, and your face is bleeding from scraping the asphalt.
Your hearing is shot from being so close to an exploding car, but all you can think about is your teammates. JJ is pregnant, Spencer is all alone, Rossi and Derek are on their own, Emily might be safe if she made it to the hospital alright, and Penelope should be heading to the hotel.
And all you can do is lay on the ground.
x
Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fan fiction#criminal minds fan fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fan fiction#spencer reid fan fic#cm#cm fic#cm fanfic#cm fanfiction#cm fluff#cm fiction
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Dazai’s origins?
Okay.
I may never find out if I’m right or wrong, but I am so putting chips on this.
Dazai’s father was the ‘old boss’, the man Mori killed to assume leadership. It just explains too much about the ongoing weirdly special relationship the mafia seems to have with Dazai, when they really ought to be hating his guts.
* Dazai remembers when Koyo tried to leave the Mafia with her lover, ‘when she was Kyoka’s age’ - that is, when Koyo was 14. Koyo’s 26 now. So Dazai would’ve been all of ten when that happened.
* Dazai calls her ‘big sis’ and frankly, I don’t know any teenage boys that’d call an older girl that. (I mean, it’s only four years.) But...I could see a kid doing that. (Mind you, it’s still kind of a weird stretch to think of Dazai ever doing such a thing, except he did, so...maybe he was younger than ten when he met Koyo.)
* Fifteen says that Mori knew Dazai was “neither an orphan nor Mori’s illegitimate child” and stops there. The only other thing it states fully is that Dazai was in Mori’s care for a failed suicide attempt. But Mori’s a mob doctor. Normal people do not wind up in the hands of a mob doctor if they’re rescued from death, they get sent to a hospital. So...someone whose family knows Mori brought Dazai in, and given how generally unfeeling the City of Demons is toward little kids, they had some reason to save him.
* Mori uses Dazai as witness that the old boss died of ‘natural causes’. The word of some random suicidal fourteen year old ...I do not see that counting for much in the mafia. But if Dazai were the old boss’s kid...I think that’s a different story.
* The way that Mori keeps Dazai’s executive seat open - and some of the old guard of the mafia (the ones we know about) treat Dazai deferentially, and help him anytime he asks and it doesn’t conflict with their orders...again, if he’s the old boss’s son, that makes both these things make sense, when as a straight up traitor who’s not only left the Mafia, but knows their secrets and methods and has worked against them as part of the ADA, they should ALL be trying to murder him. Like. All the time.
* The mafiosi frequently say they think Dazai was ‘born to be in the Mafia’. Which. I mean. Okay, yes, Dazai’s definitely got the mind for it, but maybe he really was ‘born for it’, too. That Mori seems to have legitimately feared that Dazai would cut his throat and take over eventually is also kind of indicative, because really...there’s nothing about teenage Dazai that suggests he had any such ambitions.
* Just the fact that he was around the Mafia enough, from ten to fourteen, to be aware of all/most of what was going on, and just hanging around the new boss while not being part of the Mafia himself is also kind of a big “seriously?” flag. I mean. Teenage boys are kind of a security risk in general, I’d think. Especially suicidal ones who genuinely don’t seem to give a rat’s whether other people live or die.
* Can I harp for a second about the ‘letter’ business Dazai pulled back at the beginning, when he wanted to know why the Mafia had such a big bounty on Atsushi? I really want to just say “that HAD to be one of Dazai’s lies”, but just the fact that Chuuya, who knows him best of the currently living mafiosi, had to take him seriously, suggests that whether true or not it was well within Dazai’s power, and that Chuuya was willing to believe Dazai wouldn’t just get a death mark for being a mad crazy security risk, which has to be the usual mafia approach.
* Thinking of Chuuya for a second - granting that Chuuya is ‘new guard’ in that he only joins after Mori is the boss - but Mori finds a great deal of amusement in partnering Chuuya with Dazai. It just occurred to me that part of that may be that really, that would mean he’s putting two princes together - Dazai, the ‘prince’ of the Mafia, and Chuuya, the prince of the Sheep. (Yeah, I know Chuuya is actually called a king, but the novels are pretty clear that he was still learning his role - so, again, you’ve got the very experienced prince with the inexperienced king, and that’s definitely poetic enough to amuse Mori.)
* This is circumstantial, but...when Atsushi’s old headmaster gets killed, the conversation he has with Dazai about it is just...really strange. Like...the sheer vehemence - which is quite unusual for Dazai - that Atsushi did not have to forgive, that what the headmaster did was unforgivable...but that it was still okay to cry. I’m just saying...even if I’m wrong and his father wasn’t the straight up murderous batshit guy that Mori killed, I’m betting Dazai’s relationship with his family meant he knew very well what Atsushi needed to hear.
Anyway. Y’all don’t need to believe me. It’s probably not going to be important. I just had to put it all down because it felt like a bunch of puzzle pieces clicked together in my head and I kind of wanted to shout for a bit.
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The problems with the white fang and why they aren’t Adam
So a lot of fan’s fans of the show believe Adam’s portrayal was generally well done even tho the rest of the Faunus arc wasn’t, and I tend to agree
But nobody really explains WHY the Faunus arc is bad beyond that? So I’m going to explain my issues with other characters and their stories relevant to that arc
First off, ilia amitola
A lot of fans point out that ilia is the character others wanted Adam to be, and they’re mostly right
The issue is not Ilia as a character, it’s her story arc,
Ilia rightfully points out his humans at large ignore the Faunus who die pointlessly for their benifit and only get upset when the Faunus try to fight back, her parents where killed because of the SDCs racist policies and she was mocked for it by her schoolmates
The old methods didn’t seem to be making progress and she felt hopeless, so she ended up siding with Adam because she “didn’t know what to do”
But here’s the thing, the beladonnas haven’t shown her a better way? What alternatives have they provided her exactly? Ghira’s non violent methods that we are expressly told didn’t fucking work? She’s in a better place then she was under Adam but that’s a pretty low fucking bar, she’s not killing innocent people but she’s not making any progress towards stopping what happened to her parents from happening again.
Meanwhile the dust company that killed her parents and the society that mocked her for it are now GONE, and they’re gone because of Salem
Besides Robyn, Salem is the only one shown meaningfully challenging the status quo.
So with Salem being the only one to successfully end the SDCs reign of terror, what conclusion are we supposed to draw here?
And then there’s ghira.
I think we all generally agree ghira was in the wrong for his actions in the Adam trailer, where he got mad Adam getting violent with a lynch mob because it makes them “look bad”, honestly if he was upset because he believed Adam went overboard that would be one thing but his exact words where “this is why they think they can-“ he was upset because it made them “look bad” to the lynch mob that was trying to kill them I guess?
But does the show know he was in the wrong?
He gets to be leader of the white fang! Blake who is the “face of the white fang arc” never questions him! Yeah she left him initially because she disagreed with his methods, but this is treated as a result of Adam’s manipulation and she looks back on her time with the violent white fang purely negatively when she describes it in volume 2. She makes no distinction between sienna’s white fang and Adam’s, even after sienna is introduced.
So the show seems to suggest that Blake was in the wrong for questioning him? That he was always right and Blake and ilia made the wrong choice? Even if said choice is presented as sympathetic and understandable. And ghira’s way is proven “right” when saving haven from the “bad minority” apparently immediately makes mistral so noticeably more accepting of Faunus that even the jaded ilia notices, which sends the hopefully unintentional message of “if we behave and stop the bad minority for them then the humans will reward our good behavior with better treatment”
Quite frankly ghirah’s actions in the Adam trailer seem similar to RHODES in cinders backstory, both telling someone that using violence against your oppressors makes you the villain,
But we’re supposed to view Rhodes as the villain, the man who cared more about upholding the status quo then protecting a tortured child
What are we supposed to think of ghira?
And here’s the thing, crwby gave at least shown that respectability politics is WRONG in other stories, we paint rhodes in the wrong and show Robyn breaking the law and fighting the atlas military as a good thing, we see marrow “Proving himself” as an ace op at best makes atlas view him as “one of the good ones”
And yet the narrative still never questions ghira, which means they know they fucked up yet don’t want to or are unable to fix it, or they think it’s only ok to use violence if you’re not a racial minority,
And people say “ghira is just holding the fort until salem is beaten and Blake can step into the leadership role ok then. How has Blake shown to be any different then ghira in how she fights for civil rights?
#rwby#ghira belladonna#sienna khan#ilia amitola#robyn hill#blake bellodona#rwby salem#RWBY white fang#rwby meta
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Carol & Rick (domesticity meme)
Domesticity Meme
If you can think of a ship, i will answer these questions for them
Carol x Rick
who cooks normally?:
Carol, because she likes to and is better at it. Rick can cook as well and does it when she's busy.
how often do they fight?:
As heated fights, basically never because both are such introverts. Arguments, rarely, because both have similar mindsets when it comes to actions in critique moments, none of them like to kill or hurt others but they are willing to if they have to. Up to season 3 Rick totally wouldn't accept her colder approach to such situations but after growing up and stopping being such a naive officer friendly, Rick shares the same ideas as her now.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?:
Rick draws her and collects things he thinks she will like.
nicknames for each other?:
He just calls her "Carol". Rick tends to be mature and respectful, he would use nicknames only for practical situations, as if the person's name is too long and he needs to call them fast.
who is more likely to pay for dinner?:
Rick. He wants to please her, and he prefers to do that with actions. He will always make the first move to pay and won't make a big deal out of it, unless he has no money or paying method at all.
who steals the covers at night?:
Carol. Rick already lost the sheets to Michonne when he was butt naked, why wouldn't he lose them to CAROL?
what would they get each other for gifts?:
Rick would try to find something special to Carol, something that would either touch her personally or be very useful in survival terms. So either a book he believes she will enjoy or tools /gear like a leather shoulder bag with very high durability that won't let her down in supply runs or a gun he calibrated or customized personally that could save her life.
who remembers things?:
Carol. Rick's memory can be very selective. Sometimes he remembers but keeps quiet about it.
who cusses more?:
Rick because he needs time to understand when he is wrong, and during that time he might be a defensive stubborn prick, unless you have a very good logic argument to prove to him A +B wise. He does change and evolve though.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?:
Rick would enter psycho revenge mode and hunt down everyone who hurt Carol. He might focus too much on revenge or on protecting her if they still are in danger, what may make him sound emotionally distant or just a wild crazy psycho during the time being.
who kissed who first?:
Carol. Rick maybe kissed her cheek but Carol was the one who acted first when things really mattered.
who made the first move?:
Blunt first move, probably Carol. Subtle little moves, probably Rick. While Carol is very realistic and brave about her actions in my opinion, Rick can be a coward while trying to express them, and he's also very respectful about people's personal and mental spaces. He probably covered her at night with a blanket, rested close to her to rest and brought little gifts, took personal revenge against people who hurt her, but never anything direct or obvious.
who started the relationship?:
Both probably. I feel like Carol and Rick could sustain soft flirting and sexual tension for months and have fun with it. Probably when they matured their relationship enough both sat down and decided to make it serious / official. Regardless, he probably was very loyal to her since the beginning and would feel really hurt if he saw her with someone else, probably would get so jealous of Daryl etc. but he wouldn't be toxic to try and push Carol away from her other crushes, he would just become more distant and sad that he isn't special to her as she is to him. He doesn't want her to stop being free because of him, but the guy's heart got chained to her the moment they started the flirting. He's such a romantic demisexual in my opinion and would keep daydreaming about her.
@wexarethewalkingxdead
#rick grimes#the walking dead#andrew lincoln#twd#rick grimes rp#carol#carol peletier#carol twd#@wexarethewalkingxdead#wexarethewalkingxdead#RICKHEADCANON
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Anyway, I’m back from the war (preparing refs for ArtFight), so here are my TGCF and Epic: the Musical thoughts:
[MAJOR TGCF NOVEL SPOILERS]
Xie Lian’s story is pretty similar to Odysseus’s imo
“The blood on your hands / Is something you won’t lose / all you can choose is whose” (The Horse and the Infant) - this entire plot point is pretty much the “two people and one cup of water.” Just like Odysseus must kill the son of Hector, Xie Lian can’t deal with the war and provide war to Yong’an, and he chooses to prioritize Xianle/the people under him
“If I became the monster…” is a different reason for blackening - Odysseus wants to protect his crew and family while Xie Lian isn’t protecting anyone at this point - but that song feels MADE for him tbh. The point where Odysseus repeats, “Oh, Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves,” (a point made by Poseidon), where he’s repeating Poseidon’s logic of not showing mercy compared with Xie Lian believing White No-Face/Bai Wuxiang’s philosophy after those infected by the Human Face Disease killed him over and over again
The “Monster” clip could also work for Jun Wu / Crown Prince of Wuyong (even better than for Xie Lian because he was still trying to save the people of Wuyong by sacrificing lives while Xie Lian didn’t really make an active decision to harm anyone until he wanted to release the Human Face Disease, which, again, wasn’t to protect others), but I don’t remember enough to make more of an argument / animatic
Mu Qing and Eurylochus are pretty different yet similar as well - they’re both willing to use “unscrupulous” methods and leave behind others - albeit Eurylochus is talking about leaving their men to stay as pigs on Circe’s Island, I believe, while Mu Qing is not really as cruel or selfish as he’s portrayed; he was prepared to sacrifice himself to save Xie Lian and Feng Xin at the end. However, like, Eurylochus, he’s “not as moral” as Xie Lian and Feng Xin (Odysseus and Polities in Eurylochus’s case) and leaves Xie Lian and Feng Xin during their exile.
Idk if Mu Qing would confront Xie Lian the way Eurylochus confronts Odysseus in Mutiny though. He was weirdly excited about Xie Lian maybe killing someone (someone mentioned it a while ago; I don’t remember exactly) and seemed to want Xie Lian to be less “perfect.” Plus, Eurylochus is confronting Odysseus about running away from the sea monster Scylla, which I don’t see Mu Qing condemning. HOWEVER, Eurylochus’s doubt in Odysseus's leadership and ability to keep the crew alive is something I could definitely see in Mu Qing (source: just trust me, bro)
(To be honest, I don’t really get Eurylochus’s character that much - he’s upset Odysseus chose to run from Scylla, but he was all for leaving their men to Circe? - but those albums aren’t fully out yet, so it may make more sense later)
I refuse to believe Feng Xin would work as Polities though. It makes sense in all senses of morality, character function, and plot, but Feng Xin would not sing “Open Arms.” I refuse to believe it.
Pei Ming has the same vibes as Hermes (“Wouldn’t You Like” and “Dangerous”) actually. I don’t have any clear reasoning, but it makes sense to me, yanno?
Speaking of which, while Jun Wu has similar vibes and ideologies to Zeus (“it is the will of the gods”) and Poseidon, if I had to cast anyone as Poseidon, it would HAVE to be Shi Wudu.
“His title of ‘Water Tyrant was earned due to him capsizing any ship that did not give him offerings” (TGCF Wiki; Book 1, Ch.13) and “When a god comes down and makes a fleet drown, is he scared that he’s doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check, so we must respect him, and now no one dares to piss him off?” (Monster)
“Shi Wudu considers death better than experiencing or watching prolonged suffering and pain” (TGCF Wiki; Book 3, Ch.124) and “I mean, you totally could have avoided this / Had you just killed my son” (Ruthlessness)
There’s probably more to say, but it’s ~5 am. I was prepared to sleep, like, 3 hours ago. If there are mistakes, no there aren't
#not a quote#tgcf#xie lian#tgcf meta#epic the musical#<-pretty much every song is a banger and can be made into a danmei animatic in some way#or maybe I've just read a lot of danmei idk#but I have a lot of great animatic ideas that I want to try out (mainly for Monster and Thunder Bringer / TGCF and SVSSS)#my posts#jun wu#mu qing#feng xin#pei ming#shi wudu#am I talking about an AU? comparing them? who knows I'm going to sleep
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Okay, episode 3 thoughts.
Sokka is precious, geeking out over the mechanist’s workshop. Teo is such a cute kid too, he so excited. I love that they’re giving him and Aang a little more time together, Teo clearly has some hero worship of Aang, not just because he’s the avatar but because he’s an Airbender. They’re so close in age, I think it’s good that Aang has made a friend who he can go flying with. It’s a way for him to remember and honor his history and friends.
I’m glad they don’t have them just needlessly destroying the old air temple, that always made me mad. I feel like, when the war is over Teo would definitely become an Air Acolyte like we see in Korra’s time. Live action Teo seems to have a level of respect for the air nomads history and culture that we didn’t see as much in the cartoon.
I like how they mixed Omashu, the mechanist, and Jet all in one episode, I feel like it’ll work well enough, telling the story and including elements from the original.
I think it’s interesting that Ozai had Azula infiltrate the group trying to assassinate him. She was clearly acting on his orders, but he could use this as a further method to keep her under his control if she ever started getting ideas. Conspiring to kill her father, the Firelord would definitely be treason and Ozai could easily bribe/threaten those guards to testify that Azula did it of her own free will, with intention to murder him.
I love Ty Lee’s actress (and not just because she’s friends with Walker Scobell). She’s played roles where her character feels outshone by her siblings so we already know she can do an amazing job with that aspect of her character. I really like how the fire nation uses fire phrases in everyday life. Azula says “they’re not the brightest of flames.”
I’m glad we’re starting to see Katara let her more negative emotions, yelling at Sokka, standing up to Jet, but I want to see her go further. She tries to reason with Jet first, then goes to Aang and Sokka for help, she could’ve taken him.
The lady hitting Zuko with a stick “How dare you hit that child!” I lost my mind, I love it. Seeing an adult who’s not just passively watching Aang (a literal child) have to fight someone a lot older than he is, stepping in trying to help? We only see a few characters like that in the cartoon, ones we know are already fighting the fire nation. This lady just saw a little kid getting picked on and jumped in to help.
Now, Zuko leaving his Uncle in Omashu when they’re discovered is rubbing me the wrong way. In the original we see Zuko going to great lengths to save his Uncle when he’s captured by Earth Kingdom soldiers. He even eventually tries to free him when Iroh is imprisoned by the Fire nation, Iroh just escapes first. I know he’ll be back, but I don’t know, it feels odd for Zuko to have basically run away to save himself.
#avatar the last airbender netflix#avatar the last airbender#avatar aang#atla sokka#atla katara#prince zuko#uncle iroh#omashu#the freedom fighters
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