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swanmaids · 4 months

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year end rec list wrap-up

2023 was such a good year for silm fic, I read so much great stuff from all corners. But I would be very much remiss if I did not rec each of the wonderful gift fics that I was lucky enough to recieve throughout the year!

The Silmarillion, in reverse-chronological order:

Indissoluble by @polutrope [idril/tuor/voronwe; rated e, 2.6k, nawa]

All the banter-filled, life-affirming sex for my ot3 equals merry christmas to ME.

untitled by @polutrope [tuor/voronwe; explicit, five sentences, on tumblr]

Sensual, tender, and full of hope against all odds on the way to Gondolin.

a passionate kiss by @jouissants [earendil/elwing; on tumblr]

Amazing worldbuilding and sensuality in this portrayal of Sirion-era Starwing.

she is so tired of fleeing by @that-angry-noldo [morwen; five sentences, on tumblr]

Perfect refugee Morwen characterisation in just five sentences.

blessed disorder by @sallysavestheday [turgon & aredhel; rated g, 0.1k, nawa]

The sweetest snapshot of these two being the best of friends.

Muntjac by @jouissants [celegorm/orome; rated e, 2.2k, nawa]

Hot, emotional and fairly dark sex between these two in Beleriand as everything falls apart around Celegorm. Just so perfectly THEM.

salt by @verecunda [earendil/elwing; three sentences, on tumblr]

Super sweet and romantic slice of life for my otp.

the glassmaker by @thelordofgifs [ofc/ofc; rated t, 1.9k, nawa]

Such excellent worldbuilding and a tender blossoming romance between two ordinary women of Sirion while it was still thriving, by fellow Sirion-understander.

swing by @welcomingdisaster [nerdanel/indis, rated t, 1.3k, nawa]

Beautiful imagery and wrenching emotions in this post-flight of the Noldor fic. And yet, despite it all, some hope.

Leaves of Countless Years Lie Thick by @polutrope [celegorm/orome; rated m, 0.8k, nawa]

Stunning, sexy, emotive post-canon reunion between these two. Fantastic Orome pov.

a kiss to wake up by @polutrope [Idril/Tuor/Voronwe; rated t, nawa]

A lovely moment of tenderness and then hope as Earendil rises in the sky.

the longed for that cometh beyond hope by @meadowlarkx [earendil/elwing; rated g, 0.4k, nawa]

Beautiful bittersweet fairytale vibes in this tale of "peredhil living through their own myth", as Earendil's quest is completed.

forced to watch by @theworldisquietheretooquiet [morwen & aerin; 1.1k, implied rape, on tumblr]

Wrenchingly sad exploration of Morwen's emotions as she is forced to watch Aerin and Brodda marry.

warmth by @that-angry-noldo [earendil/elwing, elwing & earendil & elrond & elros; on tumblr]

A lovely soft and adorable moment as Earendil and Elwing play with their children.

what remains by asterisq [dior/nimloth; rated t, 2.2k, mcd]

Impeccable clinical horror vibes and tragedy in this remix gift! Observations of the corpses of Dior and Nimloth following the second kinslaying.

summer by @halfelven [earendil; on tumblr]

Evocative and heartwrenching portrayal of a young and traumatised Earendil in Sirion.

House of the Dragon

a discreet kiss by @ellrond [rhaenyra/alicent; on tumblr]

A sweet stolen moment between a young Alicent and Rhaenyra, tragic when one remembers what's to come.

and as if that wasn't enough, I was also #blessed enough to receive several stunning illustrations of my own fics. Each is absolutely beautiful and adds to the fics immeasurably. Go and Look at them.

one of your girls

Celegorm in a dress by @curufiin

nothing beside remains

Uinen tends to Tar-Miriel's bones by @meadowlarkx

the salt in the wound

Curufin's wife holding angrist by @matrose

Luthien/Curufin's wife by @matrose

sister, sister

Young Aredhel tags along on a Turgon/Elenwe date by @matrose

#thank you all once again!!!#my post #the silm #fic #art #for me

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bookaddict24-7 · 4 months

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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247. Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you ever finished a book and just sat there in awe, thinking about all of the ways that it broke your heart? This was me with HELLO BEAUTIFUL. Not to be punny, but this book was beautiful. Napolitano's novel was heartbreaking, memorable, destructive, and full of moments that had me outright crying.

We follow a family who essentially adopts a man (who marries into the family) who didn't have much of a family presence growing up due to a tragedy in his childhood. The journey we take over the decades as this family evolves, separates, and comes to terms with who they are is a heavy one, but also eye-opening. We see the cycle of emotional abuse and its consequences; the expectations placed on children to be better than their parents and its sometimes detrimental effects; and the power of love that comes from the most unexpected places.

This is a complex story of family and mental health. It tackles some topics that are often shied from in society, and the consequences of decisions that send ripples through time. There were characters I hated, others I loved, and others I truly hoped would find their happiness.

This was one of my favourites of the year, hands down. The tears on my face as the ending drew closer is proof that this book destroyed me and honestly, I'm grateful I was able to experience that because I normally don't pick up books like this one.

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248. Mistletoe and Mishigas by M.A. Wardell--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, I'm not a huge fan of Holiday books because I find the whole theme kind of cringe and meh LOL, but I devoured the shit out of this book. MISTLETOE & MISHIGAS was adorable af and I couldn't stop reading it.

I loved the grouchy MC and the sugary sweet MC. I loved that one kept putting his foot in his mouth, and the other started to stand up for himself. I loved their dynamic and how they brought each others' best selves out. The grouchy MC's family was a delight and they were HILARIOUS.

Was this book super deep? At times. It dealt with the grouchy MC's PTSD and his fear of finding love again because of his grief and past experiences, and it also dealt with the sunshine MC's homophobic family and their abandonment. These parts were powerful and I liked that the two of them were able to work through or with their traumatic experiences.

Another thing I don't like about Holiday books is that because they're set in such a tight timeline, we often get things at a sped-up rate. In the case of this adorable book, we get an almost insta-lovey relationship that gets steamy hella fast (which I'm fine with, but I did giggle at that first 'baby' that hit at a questionable time), and a distorted sense of time to be falling all the way to the L word because truly, has enough time passed for this word to be coming into play? But the Holiday timeline will always be an escalator for love because time is of the essence.

Beyond that, this was ridiculously adorable and like the perfect shot of cuteness to get you into the Holiday spirit. I love these two messy men and that they were in their 30s!!!! You know how hard it is to find a cute book where the characters aren't in uni or in their 20s? It was weirdly refreshing (mainly because I am in my mid-thirties.)

Will try the first book in the series at some point in my life!

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249. Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm convinced these books aren't for me. I read them both and while I was entertained for a bit, I got to the point where I just wanted the story to end. I did love the bookselling theme and how the MC tried her best to help the bookstore and its owner, but that was about all I really cared for in this book.

Oh, and seeing the MC fall into books that way so many of us do.

But while I can see why so many enjoy these cozy mystery books, I'm just missing that sense of "why am I reading this?"

I think I liked this one more than the first one, but to be completely honest, I'm not even 100% sure I remember what happened LOL.

Three stars for the bookselling and book reading portions, the rest I just...yeah. I don't think I'll be trying the next book--it all depends on when it comes out lol

___

250. The New Guy by Sarina Bowen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm so happy to be back in the world of Sarina Bowen. I saw this book on a friend's book haul and I needed it immediately, so I got my excited hands on it and devoured it. I missed reading the fun world of hockey with queer men. Sigh, I will admit that this has now sent me down that same black hole spiral that I experience at least once every year.

We get two perspectives: a single and widowed dad and a hockey player who is struggling to find a permanent home since he has been traded one too many times. As these two characters fight against their growing attraction to each other, we get to see some great character growth and truths that really bring too much to light.

I loved this book because of the tropes presented, but also because these two men experience so many different emotions together that you can't help but hope that they get to have their HEA. There's so much angst and sexy times, that it was hard to put the book down. But besides that obvious spicy side, I loved the side relationships and how the characters remembered to keep their heads on while either working or playing their sport. It's one of the things I love that authors sometimes do--that no matter what the characters are experiencing, it doesn't affect the core thing they love to do.

Also, the side characters were great and I loved all of them--especially the single dad MC's daughter and how big her personality was.

This was a lot of fun and I really need to check out the next book!

___

251. Enchanted to Meet You by Meg Cabot--⭐️⭐️⭐️

In rating this a three star, I'm realizing how my rating system is so skewed. I'm rating this three stars because it was fun, but it wasn't the best thing I've ever read. It was very insta-romance and kind of over the top. But I'm going to be super honest: When it comes to Meg Cabot, I expect nothing less and I usually have a great time.

So, despite its imperfections, ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU was a lot of fun. There was a cheesy romance, a badass but kind MC, and a somewhat unbelievable menace that gave me strong THE CRAFT vibes. I wish I had read this in October because it would have been perfect.

I thought the cast of characters were sweet and the love interest (second MC) sounded fine af. There's a specific description of him during a spicy scene that had me rewinding the audiobook just to hear it again. Also, that's another thing! While it wasn't overly described, the fading to black wasn't as obvious as Cabot's previous series.

Also, hello some queer rep in this one! And a beautiful plus-size MC! Love.

I hope that this series doesn't go the way of her last one, which got steadily worse. I will hold out hope and will definitely be picking up the sequel.

___

252. Power Plays & Straight A's by Eden Finley & Saxon James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in November 2023

The happiness and giddiness I felt when I fell into this world again. I love these characters and how they communicate and how they are together. Reading this again felt like the first time, because I had forgotten so much of what had happened and I got to experience it all again :')

I like that these characters are imperfect and how they work together. One is socially awkward and the other is basically the king of hockey on campus. They are an interesting pair that somehow work and have the cutest and spiciest moments.

I love these boys and I can't wait to re-read this book again in a few years LOL.

___

253. It Found Us by Lindsay Currie--⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a fun and spooky mystery! I think the cover is creepier than the story itself, but it definitely had some moment where I know a middle school reader will have a few sleepless nights.

I loved the concept of this young MC being a detective because of how many other potential mysteries she could solve, especially now that she has her friend and brother helping her. I wouldn't say no to a sequel with more paranormal happenings in this small town--kind of gave me CITY OF GHOSTS vibes and I'm not mad at it.

I think I'm not rating this higher because while I was entertained, it didn't blow my mind. It was an enjoyable experience, however, and I'm definitely intrigued. I liked the character growth and the teamwork that happened--especially since I know younger readers who might pick this up might benefit from seeing healthy sibling relationships like the one in this book.

I do recommend this for anyone looking for a spooky middle grade novel that won't make them too scared to turn the lights off, but might creep them out with the stretched out smiles we sometimes hear about in IT FOUND US.

___

254. Just A Bit Captivating by Alessandra Hazard--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I bow down to Alessandra Hazard for writing 14 books (so far) in this series and making me love most of them. JUST A BIT CAPTIVATED is her latest and the way I KEPT checking to see the release date...phew. When I pick up one of these books (to read for the first time, or re-read), I KNOW I'm going to be...captivated.

This was another twisted romance and listen, I am TRASH for these books. Whereas in other books I'd be giving the storyline a massive side eye, something about Hazard's over the top situations are so ridiculously addicting and weirdly endearing? I want to root for both characters, even though one of them is a massive asshole. But listen, it's fiction--romance red flags are not real life goals, okay?

I highly recommend reading this series if you want stories that captivate you and make you question your morals on occasion (but just for the sake of the books.)

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255. The Hundred Years' War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I will pre-empt my review by stating that the reason why I'm giving this four stars instead of five is because I'm not much of a history lover, so this was a bit of a heavy read in terms of textual information and my brain's inability to fully engage in historical nonfiction. Other than that, this book was incredibly informative.

I've been trying to stay informed and have been trying my best to show my support in the best ways I can, but I find that reading up on the history of the beautiful Palestine and how it has been besieged for over a century is incredibly important. I learned a lot through this text and I definitely believe that it should be on everyone's TBR. There were definitely some aspects I wish we learned more about in this one (I have learned about missing information through my own research and watching videos of those who are hella informed). But I also know that this text is a bit older and a lot of newer information has most likely come to light since its publication.

Important, powerful, and eye-opening, Rashid Khalidi's The Hundred Years' War on Palestine is a must-read.

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256. Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm surprised it took me this long to read the heartbreaking book that is GIOVANNI'S ROOM. I've read various Gay literary fiction titles and while I always enjoy the journey, I'm always heartbroken or feeling some intense emotion by the end. Baldwin's novel didn't spare me from this experience.

GIOVANNI'S ROOM is messy, but in the most tragic way possible. This is a novel about a man who experiences one of the biggest emotions a human could experience, but both the time, his life experiences, and the expectations of what it means to be a "man" got in the way of him taking that leap into the abandonment of love. By the end, I couldn't help but cry for him, but also cry for Giovanni and the what could be's that mirror the life these two men lived on the pages of Baldwin's masterpiece.

The final line of this book will forever haunt me and if you've read this book, you know that that imagery not only will haunt the character forever, but also the reader.

Also, if you haven't done so--I highly recommend reading SWIMMING IN THE DARK because this felt very much like a reversal of characters if it was a retelling of GIOVANNI'S ROOM. Both are beautiful and both will absolutely break you/make you think about those who shared these characters' fates in real life.

I took a star away because the writing sometimes felt a little dry, BUT with that being said, I listened to the audiobook and the enunciation and reading of the narrator was GORGEOUS.

I'm glad I finally experienced this gorgeous and messy book. Also, I both wanted Giovanni to get therapy and to also be given the love he always craved and lost. My God, my heart cries for Giovanni.

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

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erisweekofficial · 9 months

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"i love eris’ duplicity. on the surface he’s a morally grey leaning evil character, but something about him makes you think otherwise. we haven’t gotten his pov so far so we don’t know what side he’s playing, and he clearly has plans. i think he’s exactly what sjm tried and failed to achieve with rhys - a sly, witty male character who you don’t know what angle they’re playing at. I’m really drawn to the way his mind works, he’s so intriguing because he’s not necessarily the main character but he has such a strong presence.

but if i had to say one thing that truly drew me into eris it would be in acosf how he immediately saw through Nesta and could tell she wasn’t meeting her full potential in the night court. on the surface, his comment just seems like a jibe to piss off Cassian but i think it’s way deeper than that. i really hope sjm explores the idea of eris as HL because it’ll be interesting to see if we see a different side of him.

overall, eris is a character with many layers and there’s so much room for possibility with him. the fact we don’t know what he’s truly planning makes him exciting, and a very fun character to write 🧡"

Today, we are featuring @autumnshighlady with her lovely Eris x f!Reader oneshot.

Eris is cruel and conniving, possessing a rapier wit and even sharper tongue. He is morally gray and perhaps even an anti-hero (only time will tell). But damn it, that doesn't mean that we can't adore some soft Eris. I would melt if Eris consoled me and calling me "darling"!

TW: none

Read THERE'S BEAUTY IN TRAGEDY

#eris vanserra #pro eris vanserra #autumn court #eris acotar #acotar #autumn court heir #high lord eris #eris #erisweek2023 #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader

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solarisgod · 8 months

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　IN THIS DREAM, THEY MEET THE WILDERNESS WITH CLAWS AND TEETH. realization soon speaks of realness in her vulpine existence that they encounter after wandering far from their dreamscape, disoriented, trying to gather some remnants of peace from mind made stars and clouds. here, after crossing over a lake stream that acts as a border placed between one's dream realm and another's, they face the forest. it is vast with primal power and ever singing in critters and blossoms. the place is full of all raging life. then the she-fox finds them, approaches ▬▬ hunger stares calmly at the bright constellation that is held with fantasy woven flesh. even within a dream, a beast in a being will still have feral burning desires to devour. she is wonder and terror all at savage once, but micah does not leave her from fear.

instead, they gently invite the wild embracing monstrosity to stargaze with them.

so the fox and the star sit side by side, admiring the stellar infinity above together. they bond over the flowers and constellations with tales and meanings behind them, adoring the land and sky while painfully wishing for the humanity to leave them alone. let nature run and soar, be ever most free. in these delicate night exchanges, micah learns she is ahri / of beauty, and ahri learns they are micah / who is like god? though, across the conversation, they notice how her gaze lingers over their bare upper body, all covered with wounds and bruises and scars. it aches. micah's serenity not once flicker from the eyes of the blooming vixen, even when they are being seen. to the world, they look like violent ends and doomed lovers and saints' tragedies. to micah, they see their body like the moon with her craters.

only looking after the world in all of her silver crafted strength and softest raw love.

space distorts and time slows when @vulpesse speaks to micah of tenderness:

❝ ▬▬ and i wish i could tell you that the aching was a beautiful rebirth of some magnificent kind. but there is no beauty to be found in this kind of survival. ❞

silence lives long and heartfelt in micah who reflects on given solace with their focus on own shaky hands, held down by their eternal phantom pain and haunting past. one will say that everything have a reason to occur or there is a meaning behind it all. yet, they can not concur with such thoughts that are more self killing than assuring. ( GOD WILL SAY: THERE ARE ALWAYS GOOD INTENTIONS IN EVERY CHOICES. BUT WHERE ARE MY PURPOSES IN MY CHILDHOOD GORES AND UPHEAVALS? MEANINGS IN MY ACHES AND AGONIES? THERE IS NOTHING IN THE BURNING. I AM NOTHING BUT FAINT SHADOW AND BLOOD AND SHATTERED REFLECTION. HOW I WANT TO BE REAL ▬▬ I MOST WANT TO BE LOVED AND BE LOVING. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? DOES MY ENDURANCE FRIGHTEN YOU, GOD? )

micah closes their eyes, tears falling. ❝ I - I - i am still here despite everything... there... there is beauty in that fact, at least. ❞ it has to be after everything ▬▬ they clench their hand and place it firm against the chest, feeling their heartbeats. this body, it tells them that they are loved. thanks them for trying to take care of it. always. just as the stars above them will shine brighter as they burn more, saying: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU ▬▬ the sky sings in glints. hope is everywhere. it is in micah even with all of the vivid blood and violent burns. ❝ as long as i am still alive, trying to love the universe as much as myself, i think that will be always beautiful enough to me. ❞ with a smile, they hold ahri's hand, unflinching. then, micah falls silent, watching the sun meet the moon. love.

all softly fades.

when ahri wakes up, she will find her hand hold a rose quartz in a shape of a star.

a form of gratitude. a symbol of hope. a kind meaning: you are loved, forever.

#ASK TO TAG CW #VULPESSE #///#//#/#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ IC . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ ANSWERS . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ V : MAIN / ACT I.II. . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH . ›#[ ✨ : BUNNIE................................................................................... ]#[ thank you so much for this prompt it is so so so beautiful :< ]#[ had the most delight in writing this ; we hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed replying to this ;; ♡ ]#[ ever so gently holds themsts together ...................................... ]

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cupidjyu · 9 months

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i saw that a lot of your stories are inspired by films you watch and i love a good romance film so if you dont mind, what are your top 3?

i greatly apologize for having horrible memory 😭 there are so many that ive watched long ago but i can't remember them, i only vaguely remember small moments that i somehow stored in my brain LOL

if i had to choose three in no particular order:

howls moving castle (such a classic and i love it!)

20th century girl (sorta sobbed on this one but its very special to me)

tangled (I KNOW this is a simple disney princess movie but ive watched this countless times ever since i was young thinking ohh i want this moment during the boat lantern scene)

some other honorable mentions would be

i recently watched the live action of the little mermaid and ugh i adored it! they were so adorable and ariel is just so beautiful

theres also enola holmes! theres two movies and i enjoyed both! theyre both mainly about solving a mystery (which im a sucker for) but the side romance i believe is so cute and it was what inspired one of my hyunjae works!

and this would be so funny to say but the spiderman movies🥲 other than being a big fan, i absolutely love the small romance (whether they end in tragedy or not) in between. like the upside-down kiss i would love to write one day!

i did also used to avidly watch kdramas! ive had no time to watch anymore but my absolute favorite ones would have to be:

business proposal (full of cliches but i eat it up anytime. i would literally giggle in bed watching this and be like oh hyunjae would definitely do this)

twenty-five twenty-one (my absolute favorite, both the friendships and the romance! and the sports aspect! i adore it and have watched it over multiple times)

hometown cha-cha-cha (this one is just so simple but so cute. like a slight enemies to lovers and just SO adorable. if i could watch it again i definitely would)

i hope i somehow answered your question sweet sweet anon🥲 so sorry for my bad memory, i would have a better answer if i remembered TT

#asks <3 #yumi rants :0 #sweetie anons!!#qna!!

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marzinthestars · 2 years

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An Uninvited Guest

It's been 2 years since me and dream got married and the divorced that following year, A tragedy I know but that marriage wasn't built off of pure love. It was based off of lust and greed. After the wedding it turned out that I was pregnant. With a beautiful baby boy.

He had the most whitest hair that could compare to snow, a walnut skin tone with light splashes along his body. Of course he had fox ears and a tail like me. But he has the eyes of his father, a pretty emerald green. I adored my child, I mean who wouldn't love there child? Oh no you thought I would end up like my father, didn't you?

I would never be like that war driven man. Who made children fight in a war. Just thinking of that man make's me sick. I'm gonna be a better father or mother than both of my parents. I'm gonna be more of a man than my father, And more of a women then my mother will ever be.

After wars, Wedding's, deaths. I decided that I should be focused on me and my baby boys future. That was until a certain god entered are lives. I wasn't looking for love. I really wasn't! But after months and months of the god trying, I accepted the gods request to start dating.

It wasn't bad to be honest. He made sure that I was comfortable in every thing he did or have done. It felt nice. To finally have someone care for you. Instead of leaving you to fend for yourself or have to overthink things.

Sooner or later he met my 2 year old.( I'm sorry I don't know how hybrid age work I hope you don't mind) He was surprisingly gentle, With every simple thing. That's when I knew I was falling for it.

A little too hard, That's when we made it official. We both loved each other and are child dearly. What more could I ask for? It was perfect. I had my small family and a pet cat named soup and a small cottage house away from the smp and it's chaos.

It was quite the sunny day on the smp. Fundy and yogurt was just picking berries from the forest in there front yard. Fundy was wearing a black strawberry dress with a large black sun hat to compliment his outfit, While yogurt was wearing strawberry covered overalls with a white shirt.

There basket was getting full so fundy grabbed the toddlers hand and went inside to go wash the berries off from any bugs and other things on the berry's. Fundy left the door open just incase yogurt want to play on the porch like he always do.

Yogurt played with the toys his mama left him to play with. That was until the forest caught the 2 year old's attention.

He got up and wobbled his little self to the big old forest and walked threw the bushes. The small child was amazed by the hug forest, It had different kind of bugs, Bird and frogs! Those were his favorite. So he did what every 2 year old would do. He chased it.

It was quiet, A little too quiet fundy noticed, When he turned around and went out the door he thought he was gonna see yogurt playing with his toys. But no he wasn't there. Now fundy was panicking. He lost his son, his boy. What if he's hurt? Or worst dead? If he was dead fundy will never be able to forgive. He didn't even notice the tears flowing down his face. He fell to his knee's and cried like there was no tomorrow.

Yogurt noticed the frog led him to a person, The frog stared at him then left. Yogurt started to look around then started crying, Where was he? Where was his mama or papa? He was lost. That was until the person no man knelt down and placed a hand his shoulder

He was able to get a closer look of the man. The front part of his hair was black and the rest was white but was long and tangled. He had fluffy goat ears and huge green horns, And was wearing a green hoodie with purple armor.

Yogurt didn't care he wanted his parents, He wanted his mom, He sobbed into his little sleeves, That was until the stranger spoke up "Hey little dude. Where are your parents? There not too far are they?" Yogurt looked at the stranger with teary eyes and shook his head and pointed to were the way he came.

Dream took the hint and picked the small fox up and walked it that direction. While the small child cried in his shoulder.

Dream saw a small house and walked towards the door and placed the small child who immediately ran into the house. So dream entered the house and saw a mother hugging the child.

The mother picked up the child and wiped the child tears. "Oh yogurt darling I thought I had lost you." fundy said as he took of his hat and placed it on the chair.

Wait dream knows that gingered colored hair and walnut skin tone from. "Fundy! Oh it's been so long! You changed so much♡" Dream said as he clasped both of his hands together.

The fox froze before he regained his position "Dream what the fuck are you doing here" He said as his eyebrows knitted together. Dream smiled at fundy oh how he missed the man, Dream pouted "Aw did you miss me dear? It's be soo long!" Dream said with a huge grin on his face.

Fundy almost gagged at the pet name "Don't ever call me that again and I found someone better than you. Someone who actually love me" Dream didn't like that. The smile on his face was gone and was placed with a frown.

"Oh fundy, no one loves you like I do. Do you remember are wedding? Oh how beautiful you were." Now those words made fundy angry. "yoyo sweetie go to your room, ok?" fundy said as he put the small child down and yogurt nodded and the only thing you heard was small feet going up the steps.

The that's when all hell broke loose "Dream, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOVE ME? YOU LEFT ME FOR THAT GODDAMN THING YOU CALL A KING!" Fundy said as he threw his arms up into the air and then lowered them to place them on his hips.

Dream smile became wider as he walked closer. "But don't you remember all are loving memories dear? Oh how you use to cry when I left you all alone and you begged me to stay."

Fundy shuddered at the memory of when he begged dream to stay. He begged. Oh if they were still together he would make dream beg for his love. But he isn't that type of person. He took his axe from his inventory called 'Death Herself'.

Fundy put the huge axe over his shoulder. While dream smiled with a blush on his face.

"Im not a little bitch like my father wastaken"

Dream lost a beauty. I think he should get a taste of his own medicine.

#fwt #fundywastaken #c!yogurt #hes baby #also fundyXD

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elysialm · 2 years

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❝ every time you smile at me, i memorize it. i remember each moment that i get to be the one to bring out that light inside you. no matter what happens between us, that’s what i’ll remember. ❞ / from eden ! pretend i sent this from @jiingweii uwu

@jiingweii

How do you say you love someone differently without putting it into words? With a touch of the hand, with a sweet twirl during a dance, with a gaze that lingers, with a smile that remains, with a warmth that never becomes cold, with a memory never forgotten, with a golden shine to brighter their life ahead. It is everything and more when it comes to Eden, a maiden of the past and a maiden of true beauty. From her golden soul to her golden eyes to her golden chalice, everything about her shined like gold and gemstones. It’s not about material wealth, her warm glow was attractive to many, not just Elysia, but the pink haired maiden would stick closer to bask in this light and have the grand opportunity to hold the woman’s hand in her own. It’s blinding to many, intimidating others to step away from the star of this era, but the second-in-command finds herself drawn to this light like moth to a flame. However, unlike the moth who will die from the flame’s embrace, Elysia knows this light will warm and embrace her like the gentle rays of sunshine.

“ Eden... ” Her name slips off those rosy lips in a moment of endless fascination, devotion runs through her veins as she cannot help but feel like her breathe has been gently taken away. It’s always been like this. Yes, since a long time ago when she first met this beautiful woman of infinite odes and operas of love, tragedy, and hope. Ah, how true it is: Eden’s words are her hope, her devoted adoration, her luck and her love. It would’ve brought so many to tears, but Elysia can only smile brightly at the one who speaks to her so tenderly in this lonely room that no longer feels lonely. It feels like a salvation, like a moment of reprise, like a place she could call home - within the arms of someone she cared about so deeply. This woman who looks at her with such tender golden gaze, Elysia wishes to keep this alive and well, so she could shine brightly even if her end will be closer than not. It hurts, too, when she remembers what she had found about herself or what she started to grasp, the fear was screaming inside until this golden touch would bring her back from the overthinking moments.

Eden, ah, my dear Eden, you are my tender light in the dark.

She can still remember how Eden approached her, asked who she was and who had always known her best. These eyes of amber, full of warmth, were eyes that had never looked away and had always shown that she cares for her immensely. Eden, oh, Eden, Elysia’s heart cannot contain its own serenades, azure gazes warming up so much more and the words die on her tongue from how those words hit her full force. It’s beautiful, she is beautiful, she is everything. A person who the Herrscher wants to keep safe and protected, the one who makes her squeeze these hands tighter as she hears such words that only those in romance novels would speak in. She loved those books, she loved them so much, the path towards her own paradise has been found and she hopes she can protect this; this warmth, this dark red hair, this gaze of gold, this voice, this smile, this love. For her, Elysia would reach up the skies to grasp a star befitting only Eden. Though, are there any singular stars befitting this woman of class and elegance? No, sadly, there is none. Thus, Elysia knew she had to improve. All the time, but all of her words were true and sincere.

“ I was supposed to say these words to you, but you beat me to it. As always, you... know me best, ” Elysia finds herself unable to contain the loving gaze and the wish to embrace the other. So, despite hating to let go of these hands, Elysia does but exchanges it with wrapping her arms around the other’s mid-section. Azure gaze closes as she indulges in this closeness and this moment of safety, her oasis. Even if she loves all and she is adoring all, Eden ... is a light unlike any other, a person whom she loves just as much but still a bit differently. A special case, a special woman, a special place in the heart of the heavenly spring. Her words alone settle the fear and nervousness down, making the pinkette breathe out a sigh of relief. There is no one else here who can take the weight off her shoulders so easily like Eden: with a smile and with a gentle word. Is this the love she read in the books of romance and fairytales? It surely feels like it. She loves Eden, she loves her, but it is a different kind of ‘love’ she experienced towards her. Not the same as the love for Flamechasers, her precious ones, no. This love is different, it’s special, it’s unique. It makes her wonder if this feeling, too, is a proof she’s a human and even if her journey of self-discovery ends in a saddening result, this feeling will become a big part of her internal salvation. “ Thank you, Eden. You always know what to say. Thank you for everything. Every time I see your smile and hear you say my name, I feel at ease. So, don’t stop, alright? Just like your song before, your voice brings me peace, comfort. I hope I do the same to you. ”

#jiingweii #I DEECIDED TO POSTPONE THE ANGST BECAUSE I CANT GRASP IT SO TAKE VERY GAY VERY GORGEOUS VERY LOVING MOMENT OF ELYDEN #I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR IM CRYING #eden tag tbt.#∴∵ ❁ ∴∵ 「 THE BEGINNING OF YOU AND I. 」 in character.

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the-knight-of-the-stars · 2 years

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Percy Jackson: The Last Olympian first reading thoughts:

-I didnt sleep reading this but it was totally worth it!!

-Danm this was soo good!

-From the start things get heavy, Backendorf's death hurt me way more than I expected.

-I loved the entire part in Poseidon's castle, very interesting (and Tyson is here!)

-Wow Nico has changed so much since the begining (also his powers are very cool)

-To see the story of Luke and his mother uncover was hard to read, so tragic, I was at the verge of tears in many parts.

-It all came full circle, now the things Luke said in the first books make so much sense, you can see what drove him to those extreme ideas.

-And I love how Percy starts to change his inicial perception of things too. That is I think a very admirable part of him. Even if he is a very stubborn boy, he is willing to try and change his mind.

-But even more so Annabeth, she is so empathic despite her critical thinking, and I love that of her. She is truly so wise, even so young she realizes that she needs both the power of the heart AND mind. To almost the last second she holds on to her heart and that doesn't meant she stops being smart.

-Amazing to see the Underworld again, and Hades, and Persephone!

-Achilles's ghost, nice.

-Percy thinking of Annabeth in the river to survive STOP I LOVE THEM (Also dont think I didn't notice him constantly getting distracted with how pretty Annabeth looked)

-Very funny that whole interaction with Demeter, Persephone and Hades, and it was interesting to see how Nico tries to fit in there.

- I really thought we wouldnt get the chance to see Hestia and we did! And I loved how she was represented, as the hope that comes from the concep of home and how that parallels the gods and Olympus being the source of their power.

-I would have liked to see more of the gods fighting Typhon but I I looved the full focus on the battle defending Olympus.

-No, really, that entire battle was soo fricking cool. It took so much of the book and I adored every second. I could feel them getting cornered by Kronos, the progressive tiredness every time a new attack happens.

-Wow so much happens!

-Ok, I think my favorite parts were:

-THALIA!! Gods I missed her, It was so exciting to have her back and fighting.

-The automatons??? How cool is that??

-Percy provoking the Minotaur in such a cocky way, damn my boy has grown.

-Prometheus. Loved everything, such a fun antagonic character.

-Grover and his cool powers with nature turning a titan into a tree, AMAZING

-Percy chasing a gigant flying pig around New York.

-The centaurs coming to the rescue

-Dionysus using a party to manifest, so interesting and cool (nice of him to ask about his son)

-Percy referring to both his mom and Paul as "his parents"

-The battle with the dragon, everything felt so epic. Silena's sacrifice was so tragic, and Clarisse using her anger to kill the dragon, epic.

-"I will kill you ALL! Where is Kronos? Bring him out! Is he a coward?" Damn Clarisse...

-Hades, Demeter and Persephone coming to the fight!!!

-I was kinda hoping Luke could survive, but I guess his death was necessary. It was equally hearbreaking and beautiful. His sacrifice just made everything circle back in a true greek tragedy tale style.

-Again, with the impecable development of Percy. "You are not the hero" *cheff kiss.

-And again, Annabeth understanding eveything before eveyone else.

-To see all the gods reunited again was amazing

-YES GROVER MY BRAVE BOY YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

-And Tyson! I'm so happy for him, (I just hope he never has to actually fight)

-And Annabeth!! My dear girl will be architect of Olympus, I was about to cry, I'm so happy for her.

-Percy, I was not expecting him to ask that to the gods and I love him even more now. I knew some day his ability to defy the gods with a straight face would be used for a greater good. And damn he deliver. Again, everything full circle, what a good ending.

-Rachel is the Oracle now, cool. And I loved to see Apollo there, amazing.

-Another prophecy????

-PERCABETH PERCABETH PERCABETH!!! OMG FINALLY

-I swear they are the most adorable thing ever, the underwater kiss... :')

-Well that was fricking beautiful

-I loved this book and this series with my soul, an aboslute beauty of a story, everything was like a dream come true and I'm so happy I got to read it while I wasnt busy.

-What a journey, loved every second, I felt like a little kid again. 100/10

-You bet I'm reading EVERYTHING else from this franchise.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #first reading

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rozavie-reads · 2 years

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I’ve heard this novel described as being the book equivalent of drinking hot chocolate on a cozy day. That is the best way to describe every moment of this beautiful novel from LGBTQ+ author TJ Klune. While it handles serious topics such as hate and prejudice, it also offers a sweet, soft comfort to anyone looking for a story about found family and love.

When mild-mannered 40-year-old Linus Baker, a caseworker for the Department in Charge of Magical Youth, stumbles into an orphanage full of children like no other, he finds that he is in over his head. But with a little help from the orphanage’s master Arthur Parnassus, Linus discovers that the world he’s been living in isn’t as black and white as it seems.

The main characters are loveable to the core. It’s impossible not to feel affection for all of the children, especially the tormented young Lucy, the six-year-old Anti-Christ with “spiders” crawling in his head, and for the adults as well. It warmed my heart as Linus and Arthur’s relationship blossomed and grew, and I came to adore each and every one of these characters as if they were real people.

Furthermore, Klune’s decision to feature middle-aged men as the main characters is wonderfully refreshing. All too often, novels focus on young protagonists and while that’s fine, the idea that older individuals can’t be the protagonists in stories such as these (romances and fantasies specifically) carries a hint of ageism. I am a vocal advocate for inclusive storytelling and this applies to ages as well. If we only tell the stories of young teenagers and 20-year-olds, then we’re missing out on so much. It’s a shame.

While the book relishes in magical realism, it also presents real-world tragedies such as abuse, forced cultural assimilation, and violent mob mentality. Klune strikes an excellent balance between the whimsy of the world and the more serious elements throughout. In short, this story is something special. It is unlike any other fantasy I have read before and the world building is so whole and complete, it’s easy to get sucked in. This world reflects our own but exists in a sort of off-kilter dimension with magic and computers and radios and record players and office buildings and cities and beaches and sprites and so many other seemingly-opposing factors that marry together in perfect, beautiful harmony.

I read this directly after “Good Omens” and while the two books are not the same in the slightest, they are charmingly similar. “The House in the Cerulean Sea” presents similar questions about nature vs. nature and features main characters with similar attributes to those in “Good Omens” (to the point where you could easily switch out Linus and Arthur and have a top-notch fanfiction on your hands) but, that being said, “The House in the Cerulean Sea” stands out wholly on its own. This is due to the world, as mentioned before, and also Linus and Arthur being such interesting people in their own rights.

I am finding it exceptionally difficult to quantify this novel in words. The enjoyment came from somewhere deep inside of me. It warmed my heart in a way that many books haven’t and that, my friends, is something special. This is one of those books that I felt crushed after finishing. I want more. I need more! If I can’t get it from Linus and Arthur, I hope TJ Klune is able deliver yet again with his next novel “Under the Whispering Door,” which I intend to read at the next possible convenience.

Stand-out quote: “Hate is loud, but I think you'll learn it's because it's only a few people shouting, desperate to be heard.”

Rating out of 5: ★★★★★

#the house in the cerulean sea #tj klune #arthur parnassus #linus baker #book #books #book review #book reviews #under the whispering door

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physicsfox7 · 3 months

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I love/hate when my tl is full of beautiful, broken quotes from authors. Excerpts from books and plays that really highlight the tragedy and beauty of humanity.

So enjoy the incoming literary posts, and hope to whatever god you pray to that Mary Shelley doesn't come across my tl. I adore Frankenstein like nothing else. I wonder if my copy is here...

#mental health #literary quotes #beauty in pain #beauty in darkness #healing through commiseration

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eviescottage · 7 months

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Flashback: 1989

Is it strange that most of my childhood is a blur yet, for some reason, 1989 as a five year old is more vivid than anything else to me? Nostalgia is a tricky thing and I heard once that we often remember tragedy over brighter times. For me, 1989 was the opposite of tragedy. It was hope, it was optimism, it was life in freedom without being forced into a mold. Just one year later I would be given more strict gender roles by both society and my parents being pressured by said society. I could go from liking things "not meant" for my assigned gender at birth to hiding those same toys away. I would be in elementary school as the calendar changed over to 1990. I'd have to pretend to be a boy and fake every smile I made.

I'm not saying that a pity party should be coming my way or that my parents did something inherently wrong. To be fair, I didn't even know being transgender was a thing until I hit my early 20's. Being raised in a Catholic neighborhood will shelter you like that. The only people who had computers and the internet made way more money than my family did. I couldn't just Google my gender dysphoria so spent most of my childhood misunderstanding what it meant. Not in 1989. In 1989 I felt safe.

Lady Lovely Locks hit the television and the toy stores at the same time which meant, as a child who adored falling into a world of magical princesses and fairy creatures who became friends, I wanted everything to do with it. I remember reading her books avidly while brushing the luxurious hair on my dolls. The tiny pixietail toys would clip onto the doll's hair or my own if I wanted to pretend like I was Lady herself. I often slipped into imagination and my parents were kind enough to let me. There was no concern because I was five years old and it was just one cartoon. Just one set of dolls. I didn't have to fit into the mold of what being a boy was. I could be one of Lady Lovely Lock's friends and daydream my time away.

There was a toy store in my local mall - now having been abandoned and bull dozed to the ground thanks to internet shopping and economy - that featured those Lady Lovely Locks dolls prominently in its window. I always begged my mom to go in and help me look through them all. It was the end of the 80's and anyone growing up in that time will tell you that companies would market new toy lines constantly. None of them mattered to me. I had one hyper focus: the world of Lovely Locks and her magical pixietail friends. I ran by other shelves, including the ones stocked with traditional toys marketed towards boys at that time, and went right up to the Lady herself to see what new installments in her world I could bring home. It was magic. It was warm, it was comfort, it was a memory edged in a golden sheen.

Something happens as an adult when that nostalgia is encountered again. I always go back to 1989 and the seeds of that nourishes my wounded heart. I've come out now, I've transitioned, and I think the world still hates me for it. We are becoming a more hateful society and any innocence I once had has long been lost. Still, I go back to that mall window or my bedroom with the warm rays of light shining on my toy box. I'm sitting on the carpet and humming a song to myself as I play with Lady Lovely Locks. On guard on my dresser is Teddy Ruxpin, and in the Lady's kingdom the Care Bears are always welcome. The hand on the clock stops. I'm safe.

The thing about nostalgia is that you can't stay in it forever. You can only go back to visit it once in a while when you're really wounded, when you really need to recover from a world that keeps screaming to end your life. But once in a while I slip back to 1989 and I live in the golden framed state where I was most freely myself and safe because of it. No one forced me to be anything I wasn't. I was just a little girl playing with her dolls, heart full of hope that one day I would enter the kingdom of Lovely Locks and would be as beautiful as any princess.

#80s #retro #nostalgia #dolls #lgbtq #transgender #transgirl #memories

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allthebettertoseeyou · 1 year

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🍓

I’m still thinking about Bill and Frank. It’s 8 AM. Haven’t slept. Have had insomnia for days because of bad and sad reasons and am so relieved to have had one night of restlessness that’s fixated on something good. Something beautiful. And that’s what this version of Bill and Frank’s story is. Breathtakingly beautiful.

I adore The Last of Us games. I think they’re both examples of masterful gameplay and storytelling on several fronts. But I’m not so blinded by my love as to be unwilling to admit that the first game got Bill and Frank’s story very wrong. They relied on tropes of tragedy and trauma and “burying your gays” that media of that time, and even some still today, treated as the only way to tell a queer love story. Ten years later, they not only admitted to and corrected those mistakes, they improved upon and deepened the role and meaning of both characters in a way I never could have imagined.

The Last of Us is ultimately a story about love. The love of a parent and their child. Of love that’s born out of necessity. When the whole world has gone to shit and you have to search for something, someone, to hold onto. To make that life worth it. Because even in that world of decay and destruction and death, it has to be for something.

I really relate to Bill in some ways. He’s a survivor. A pragmatist. He prides himself on his practicality and capability and resourcefulness. He knows he can rely on himself. Protect himself. He doesn’t need anyone and he likes it that way…..

But he’s lonely. He doesn’t care to admit it to himself. Certainly doesn’t want to let anyone else in on it. But he is. He hides out in a bunker where those “new world order, jackboot fucks” can’t get him, arms himself with the essentials, sets clever traps to keep others out, and barricades himself inside his own little town. Inside his own, lonely little closet. And there he can rest assured that he is safe.

Because… love is fear. Love is vulnerability. Love is pain. Is loss. Is inevitably, someday, in some way, having to say goodbye. And in a world full of creatures whose sole purpose is to destroy you, the last thing someone like Bill needs is to invite someone into his home, with a live, beating heart, and their own potential to destroy him. And yet, he does.

He rescues Frank from his deeply dug pit and risks the safety of his nest and offers him respite. A hot shower, a change of clothes, a home cooked meal after two days of starving and the perfect wine to pair with it. Because maybe, in the risk of nourishing Frank, maybe he’ll be nourished too.

Bill is a conservative, middle-aged, gay man in a world that essentially ended in 2003. He never lived to see a time where you could legally marry the person you love. Let alone a world where you could be proudly out and living without fear for your safety or of judgment. He never had the chance to know love. And while he’d done okay for himself living without it, he wasn’t truly living. Dinners were eaten alone. In the dark. In the dust. Watching infected fall victim to his traps as means of entertainment. Until… Frank.

Frank climbs out of Bill’s pit and into his home and with him he brings sunshine. Sunflowers. Promise. Hope. He observes the precious manner in which Bill presents dinner. Angling the plate just so. The way he pours the perfectly paired wine. He is drawn in by his antique piano and his Linda Ronstadt sheet music and the longing in his fingers and voice singing ‘Long long time’. And he sees him. He knows. And he places his hand on his shoulder and gives him his first honest kiss and takes him to the bed that would become theirs and tenderly shows him all that love can offer him. If he’ll let it. And he does. And it offers them both so much.

“Paying attention to things is how we show love… Just let me love the way I want to.” Frank has to convince Bill of this. And it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to convince Bill that there is more to their life than just necessity. That he doesn’t always need to reinforce the walls and dine with gun in hand when trying to turn strangers into friends. That even in their broken world, there’s still room for manicured lawns and boutiques and candles and paintings. That it’s worth it to trade a little gun for a packet of seeds that grow into a patch of strawberries so sweet you laugh and sob simultaneously when you share them in the golden sunlight of evening with the one you love.

And then, inevitably, the time comes to say goodbye. Twenty years have passed and age has fallen upon them and a degenerative disease has placed Frank in a wheelchair and Bill wakes up one morning to hear that it’s The Last Day. That Frank needs him “to love me the way I want you to”. To make him toast and dress in what he asks and become his husband at the piano where they began. To crush up all of the pills Bill reminds him to take each day, pair them with the wine and the delicious dinner and take him to their bed where he’ll fall asleep in his arms. And Bill almost can’t do it. Because here it is. Here it finally is. The live, beating heart that will destroy him when it stops as his goes on pumping and pulsing and persevering.

But Bill does. Because he loves him. Because love is not just good days. Love is not just the first three to four months of intensity. Or the one to two years of comfortable, familiar routine. Love, after twenty years, is finding a way through bad days. Really awful ones, together. It’s evolving. Easing up on your stubbornness and mind of practicality to make sure that your person has the paint they need to fill your home with art. Conserving a little rainwater to keep the flowers and garden alive. Listening to the list of a man who thinks he’s dying on your dining table as you save him, because you know how his mind works. And that even with a bullet in his gut, you are what he wants to protect. You are his purpose.

And so, they fall asleep together instead. Crushed the pills into the bottle, swallowed the wine down smooth, and climbed into their bed to slumber. And here we deviate from the game again. Two bodies instead of one. But this isn’t a trope. And it isn’t traumatic. It isn’t the tragic suicide at the end of the play. It ends on their own terms. Bill and Frank’s. Who loved and lived for each other for 16 years. And died together, having led fulfilled and satisfying lives. And, god, if all of us could be so lucky.

Knowing the title of the episode going into it, I wondered what it could mean. The Bill we meet in the game is a drastically different man than the one the show presents. Frank we only see as a corpse. Bill’s “partner” who despised his stuck-in-his-way mentality so much that he left. Got bit. And killed himself. Leaving behind a note for Bill telling him how much he hated him. To have my question answered at that piano, by two men singing earnestly out of key about loving someone “a long, long time”; I wept.

In the official HBO’s The Last of Us podcast, show runner Craig Mazin describes why the Linda Ronstadt song was chosen as the introduction of Bill and Frank’s love story,

“The lyrics were someone saying: Everyone tells me that it’s okay. That love will find me. That the pain of heartache and loss and disconnection will heal. No it doesn’t. No it’s not. And the person that I long for from afar, I’m gonna love them basically forever in the most unrequited manner. And, to me, I just thought, what a beautiful notion that you can’t ever get there. The closer you get the further that light gets away from you.”

As an aging gay man who’s never known love, it’s clear why this song resonates with Bill. “This is you,” Frank says after discarding the ‘Fur Elise’ and ‘Tales of Hoffmann’ that belonged to Bill’s mother. “There is no girl”. “There’s no one at my side”. And Frank, knowing why, says: this is me too. I will stand by your side.

As a straight woman about to enter her thirties never having had a relationship, never having been kissed, the song resonates with me too. And did long before I watched one of the most profoundly meaningful hours of storytelling in my life. Unrequited love is the only romantic love I’ve ever known. And I know it so deeply. I know how it feels to live a life watching everyone around you falling in love. And falling in love together. I know how it feels to ache. To watch the person you love… love someone else. Or several someones. To long desperately for the tenderness of love. Of companionship. Of kisses and intimacy and sex. Of being chosen by the one you chose. I know the loneliness that comes with the rejection of reciprocity. Of years passing and learning how to accept that it’ll probably always be this way. That some people aren’t fortunate enough to find love in their lifetime. That you may very well be one such person. And that you’d better find a way to get used to it. To build up barriers and shut yourself away. Alone. In your home. Safe and out of sight from the light that burned you. Yet still craving the warmth of the sun.

Bill and Frank made me believe again. That maybe love can be found after all. That even if your world goes to shit, maybe someday someone new will come along. Someone who gets you to peer into that pit you’ve dug to protect yourself. That pit that told you: don’t risk it, don’t be open, don’t be vulnerable, don’t bother dreaming of the someday someone who could love you. Someone willing to help you climb out of that world and into a new one. Together.

In the end, Bill’s letter to Joel, acts as the thesis for the entire wider story of The Last of Us. Save who you can save. Love who you love. Allow yourself to be open to that. To both the pain and the joy. And maybe one of the lives you save will be your own.

I know. This is an essay no one asked me to write. It’s one I doubt any other soul apart from me will read. But I had to write it anyways. Bill and Frank’s story is the kind I long to write. One that moves you. Makes you weep. Captivates your mind for hours after its conclusion and robs you of your sleep. The kind of love story that sticks with you for a long, long time.

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wallflowerimagines · 3 years

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Hello! Um... I don’t really know how to start this but say I love your hc! I think you do a fantastic job on them, there all very sweet but being the s.o.b I am I’m here to ask for some angst. How would you think the lords act if their S/O died?

...I'm feeling mean. 😈

Warnings: Angst, Death, Horror Game villains making bad decisions/not coping with tragedy, suicide.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Denial, Denial, Denial

You can't be dead. There has to be something, anything that she can do to save you. Alcina scrambles for a solution, attacking the problem from all sides, despite the reality of the situation staring her in the face.

Immediately injects your body with Cadou in a desperate hope to save you. Any possible chance that he has to save you she's going to take it.

It's not likely that your corpse reanimates, but it does mutate. At the end of the process, what's left of your body hardly even looks like you anymore, and she can't bring herself to look at it.

She builds a gilded crypt for your body-- it's stunning. It's inspired by you, all your favorite colors, styles and hobbies are incorporate to make the room feel full of your spirit. Alcina is an artistic woman, and she throws herself into the project like she's possessed.

It might take years, even decades to complete. It has to be perfect. When it's done she feels accomplished, but twice as empty. It might be one of the most beautiful dedications she's ever made, but it can't replace you. She has the room sealed off with no way to get to it, so she can't be tempted to visit. She just needs a piece of of you still in her home, or she can't get through the day.

...If your corpse does reanimate, it's actually worse for Alcina. Whatever she brought back was a shambling, horrifying mess of mold wearing your face. It couldn't think for itself, or even follow commands--it just wanders in circles and attacks anything that gets too close.

She keeps your reanimated corpse in a cell, unable to bring herself to destroy it completely. Sometimes, she'll go down to the basement and talk to the thing like it is you, telling it about her day, having one-sided conversations and thinking of all the wonderful memories the two of you shared.

When its dead eyes meet hers, her lungs seize in her chest and tears gather in her eyes. Alcina doesn't cry often, but when your corpse meets her gaze she starts to sob. Those eyes used to look at her with life and love and now...

Still, she can't stop herself from visiting it. It's a compulsion she can't stop, and it tears open the wound every time, but some irrational part of her deep, deep down thinks that one day, she'll descend those steps and you'll be there to greet her with a warm smile.

In either scenario, she will never have another partner. You're impossible to replace, and she feels truly, genuinely empty without you. Rest well, Darling. You'll never be forgotten.

Donna Beneviento

There is such a thing as a last straw, and this is it for Donna.

Please remember: this is a woman who has lost everything. Mother Miranda might have given her a new "family", but Donna is not nearly as attached to these new members as she is to her original family. And the loss of her original family has shaped her in such a way that if you died? She would be absolutely devastated.

It's not fair to put this kind of pressure on you, but in a very real way you were her last hope for normalcy. She had all these plans to fix her family with you. You were so instrumental to her hopes for the future that now that you're gone, it feels like she has no hope at all. You were her missing link, her one true love, and now that you're dead...

Donna screams until her throat is raw when she finds out you're gone. Angie can't help her, nothing can. She just can't cope with reality anymore.

She'll build a life sized Doll of you to try to help herself cope, but the minute she tries to implant of piece of her Cadou in it, she is filled with such a vehement hatred of the thing that she starts scream-crying before she takes an axe to it's face and hacks it to pieces. How dare it pretend to be you?!! It's not even close to the real thing, she shouldn't even have tried--

She might try to induce a hallucination of you to help her get through the day to day, but it's not the same. She can't perfectly mimic your laugh, or your smile, or the way you tuck her hair away from her face. It's so obviously not you, and Donna is... alone.

I do hate to say it, but she will absolutely try to kill herself if you died. You were the one person who understood her, empathized with her, and you were her best friend. You were her support system, the one person who could carry her through the worst times in her life, but you're gone. Donna can't believe that anyone else could be there for her like you were.

Salvatore Moreau

Absolutely, irreparably broken.

When the two of you were in a relationship, you busied yourself not only with smothering Salvatore in all of the love and affection that you could, but you also did a lot to help his self-esteem and mental health.

You made sure he knew that he was loved, that you could never hate him, and even on your death bed you make him promise never to forget how wonderful he is.

Once you're gone, though, Salvatore cracks.

He clings to every bit of you felt behind. All of your jewelry, clothing, pictures and sentimental items are preserved to the best of his ability. Your living space is transformed into a shrine dedicated to you.

It's not healthy, but he also deifies you in his memory. Mother Miranda is no longer the only person that he worships-- the memory of you is now sacred to him. You become something holy and perfect in his mind's eye. It doesn't matter how many flaws you had in reality, your death has turned even your worst flaws into traits to be admired and praised. His perception of you is totally twisted.

Speaking of Mother Miranda, he regresses a lot. His adoration of Mother Miranda was something you were helping him work through, but now he's right back at square one, and even worse off than before.

Moreau can't make a decision on his own anymore--from what to say, to what to do, and sometimes even what to eat. After all, it's his fault that you died, isn't it? You were his partner and he used to be is a doctor. How could he possibly trust himself with anything when he couldn't manage to save the most important thing in his life?

To the rest of his family, he's more pathetic than before. His obsession with his Mother was usually limited to when she was in the room, but now it's constant.

If he ever hears the quote "It's better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all," he gets supremely, violently angry. No. No, that's not true, it's bullshit, how dare you even say that to his face.

If he hadn't loved you, you would be alive. He would be alone, but you would be safe. You would be happy.

Now he's alone, and all you are is dead. He can't ever come back from it.

Karl Heisenberg

Rage. Unending, earth shattering Rage.

Whatever killed you better start to fucking pray, because Karl Heisenberg will not quit until it's suffering.

He doesn't kill who or whatever it was. He let's it sit there, mangled beyond belief, and uses his knowledge of mechanics and biology to keep it alive in constant, unending pain.

It's cathartic for him, but not in a healthy way. The more he hurts it, the better he feels, but at the end of the day, you're still gone, and he's still alone.

He's... lost.

Heisenberg should be angry, fuck he wants to be angry more than anything, but the longer he keeps the thing alive... emotions seem like they're too far away anymore. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants... you.

He keeps something of yours in his pocket at all times, just to run his fingers over it and remember you. Your eyes, your laugh, your smile... It's almost like a stress ball, and these days sticking his hand into his pocket to wrap his fingers around the thing is the only way he can calm down.

Sometimes he turns to ask your opinion on something, or tell you a joke with a big smile on his face because this one is going to make you laugh for sure-- and then he freezes when the reality sets in once again. You're not here.

Remember, Heisenberg has idealized the two of you as this perfect partnership. You were the first person who looked at him and loved everything that you saw. You weren't just his first real relationship, the first person that he implicitly trusted, but you were also his very first real friend.

He wasn't the most friendly person to begin with, but he did get better because of you. He was still spoiled, a little socially awkward, and maybe his dark sense of humor would slip and get a little too much, but he grew as a person.

Now that you're gone, he can't even remember what it's like not being a cruel, empty shell of rage. All he has left is his hatred of Mother Miranda.

After a while, it doesn't matter if he's ready to take her on or not. He's going to face that bitch head on and kill her, or die trying.

If he wins, he's finally free. If he doesn't... that's not so bad either. Karl doesn't really believe in an afterlife, but there's something appealing about joining you wherever you might be.

#angst #death #alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #karl heisenberg #re8 #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #resident evil #dead reader #tw: suicide

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