[ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : angelparadox is weird as fuck @ cry [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : we were hoping we could come to la to spend our breaks with you but he was very against it [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : wait is la one of the places you have to go for work? [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : are you even going to get a holiday break? [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : christ

 Micah have been staring at the text series sent from Steelstorm , gently biting their lower lip . Three minute passes ⅋ they are still trying to figure how they can respond to him . The fact that Angelparadox let them do this Miracle alone for two months when it seems a lot better to work with their Hieroquaternity instead . They recall the doubt ⅋ suspicion expressed from their other Starwakers . If it were not for Warlock accompanying them while ignoring Break Beyond Force's order of it not getting involved with their work , Micah is certain they would fall in a lot of difficult positions , including the time when Cosmochoice tried to kill them in late November . Micah then remembers the time when Angelparadox made them have a spar with Adoniram while encouraging the pair to fight each other as a test . Their hand shakes .

 [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : He actually warned me not to visit my family.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : It must be his Awareness that told him I was planning to, but I stood up for myself.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : I demanded for at least one week of break.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : He just hummed ⅋ hung up without a word.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : I guess I do have a break, but I have to be very vigilant with it anyway. Los Angeles is my last visit.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : After I became an Antigod ⅋ moved to D.C. to work for the Force, I didn't get to see my family. Seven months. I miss them so much.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : But I will not let anything with my work happen to anyone of my family.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : I swear to the stars.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : I do think he's not letting you guys visit me for very specific reasons. I don't know what, but I don't trust his intentions.  [ 📲 ⦿ THE UNHOLY QUATERNITY ] : What do you guys think? @oncehunted @oncehaunted @fatefire

i am here with a small question ! (❁´◡`❁) what flower(s) or tree(s) would you associate with beloved micah ? and would micah ever be interested in having a garden, or maybe in growing vegetables and fruits in a tiny field ?

Hello, Bunstar! Thank you so much for this wonderful set of questions! (≧▽≦)ﾉ彡☆ ( A small question to a large answer, heheh . . . ) The Starwake System holds a special connection with nature because of Micah’s surrogate parent who is Incarnation of Earth who birthed xem through the soil and water, initially the Sun and Moon creating xem as a starseed. Due to this, a lot of the plants are meant to be associated with Micah, but I will list six most prominent flowers and trees that I associate with xem!

Before I start, though, I'd love to answer the plant association question with the other main Starwakers!

◜ ⟢ Phoebus ◞ Phoebus is associated with plants that bring vitality and healthy products, such as herbs, fruits, and vegetables. Phoebus is highly nurturing and solicitous in their own quiet and firm ways to their starmates, always wanting only the best of themself and the system since the moment they all existed, so plants that are known as culinary and medicinal applications best aligns with their main role of encouraging growth and providing care. Phoebus is a cooker and healer at heart, using plants for the system's meals, beverages, and natural medicines often, as well as they usually front to take care of themselves when sick. ┊ Figureset : ⁽ ¹ ⁾ Jasmine. ⁽ ² ⁾ Marigold. ⁽ ³ ⁾ Violet. ⁽ ⁴ ⁾ White Pine. ⁽ ⁵ ⁾ Apple Tree. ⁽ ⁶ ⁾ Sugar Maple

◜ ⟢ Philos ◞ Philos is associated with plants that are known to be distinct and conspicuous, the kind that stands out from their unique shapes and / or features. Philos shares the similar attributes with these sort of plants by her alluring appearance and powerful personality, wanting to make her presence the most striking. However, he holds an essence that often makes him appear as more honourable than dangerous. Be closer to him and he may bring out what are the worst than best from another. They look into plants more based on their aesthetic and aroma appeal, the aspects Philos cares about with their self image the most in the system. ┊ Figureset : ⁽ ¹ ⁾ Rose. ⁽ ² ⁾ Bleeding Heart. ⁽ ³ ⁾ Passionflower. ⁽ ⁴ ⁾ Golden Chain. ⁽ ⁵ ⁾ Okame Cherry. ⁽ ⁶ ⁾ Wisteria.

◜ ⟢ Phobos ◞ Phobos is associated with plants that are carnivorous and poisonous, what matches with its sharp and stealthy nature. Along with Philos, it is dangerous, although rather than acting out of maliciousness, it exists as a defence or mechanism for itself and the system, harming those that tries to ruin them while giving themselves the resources to continue living. Phobos holds greater fascination in these plants than everyone else within the Starwake System─ some people don't believe this fact because of its harsh and careless attitude, but Phobos also takes wonderful care of them when it can. ┊ Figureset : ⁽ ¹ ⁾ Sun Pitcher. ⁽ ² ⁾ Flame Lily. ⁽ ³ ⁾ Angel's Trumpet. ⁽ ⁴ ⁾ Manchineel. ⁽ ⁵ ⁾ Sandbox Tree. ⁽ ⁶ ⁾ Milky Mangrove.

In regards to Micah now, xe is associated with the following six most prominent flowers and trees : ⁽ ¹ ⁾ Shooting Star. ⁽ ² ⁾ Firefly Flower. ⁽ ³ ⁾ Dandelion. ⁽ ⁴ ⁾ Ginkgo. ⁽ ⁵ ⁾ Rainbow Eucalyptus. ⁽ ⁶ ⁾ Cherry Blossom. These plants are linked to the concepts of hope, resilience, and love that Micah represents. Xe have memories with them since childhood while they present as personal and symbolic reminders to xem.

`˳⟢˚، ⁽ ¹ ⁾ When Micah as a starseed was brought down to Earth from the Cosmos in the grasp of Ilios and Fengari before xe was buried within Gi's existence and then be birthed, Micah rose from soil and water with Shooting Stars growing around xem. Since then, Solaris Kingdom with the Solar Pantheon considered Shooting Stars as Micah's main sacred flower. While the Shooting Stars flower doesn't have cultural symbolism, the namesake celestial events are generally perceived as a symbol of good luck and positive change, as well as of passion and aspiration; these being what Micah represents when xe always make good changes in everyone and everything around xemself out of love and hope. `˳⟢˚، ⁽ ² ⁾ Firefly Flowers is another Micah's creation when xe was a toddler under Gi's care. Micah's celestial powers were still extremely strong at the time and having to spend excessive time with the plants near a lake, xyr cosmic light eventually bled into them, making changes inside of the flowers that would make them be able to glow in the dark and bloom during nighttime. Fireflies is one of Micah's sacred and favourite animals that symbolize the illumination, teaching that the light within is the power of life, and the heart and soul can always shine even in the time of darkness. `˳⟢˚، ⁽ ³ ⁾ Micah's childhood neighbourhood and elementary school have a lot of dandelions. Xe always loved to play with this plant and blow their seeds, making wishes from them. ( Xe still does in the present. ) Whenever Micah returned home after a long day without xyr adoptive parents, such as being at school, xe would usually bring them dandelions, not realizing the mess of the white seeds scattering everywhere in xyr home from the excitement of seeing xyr family and giving xyr parents flowers. Xe didn't understand the concept of " messiness " until a year later since xe engaged in this tradition when xe was six, but xyr parents only accepted xem and xyr dandelion gifts while they never complained or scolded at xem for mess xe'd make with the dandelion seeds. Dandelions means hope, perseverance, and transformation; being a reminder of strength and freedom. `˳⟢˚، ⁽ ⁴ ⁾ Ginkgo is one of the Everlove family's famous symbols. Over thirty years ago, Micah's parents planted a Ginkgo tree in the middle of their backyard shortly after they moved to their home with a vow that they'd raise a wonderful and happy family together. This Ginkgo tree was the establishing point of the Everlove's existence. Ginkgo is known to be called as the " living fossils " because they have survived for million years. They symbolize longevity and promote rejuvenation, and they are the reminders of one's resiliency, vitality, and endurance; paralleling to Micah's own ever constant perseverance and willpower. `˳⟢˚، ⁽ ⁵ ⁾ Micah doesn't have any direct experiences with the Rainbow Eucalyptus, although xyr parents did when they went to Hawaii to do film some scenes there before they had the time to admire the Rainbow Eucalyptus, sharing photos and videos of them to their kids. Micah dreams of having a Rainbow Eucalyptus in xyr large backyard one day when xe can figure out where to plant it. Rainbow Eucalyptus represents creativity, adaptability, and resilience by its myriad of colours on the barks. `˳⟢˚، ⁽ ⁶ ⁾ Micah went to a park with Adoniram where the cherry blossom trees were blooming in one of their first few dates. Xe always have a deep liking in this sort of trees and finds them quite beautiful. Xe have several pressed cherry blossom petals on xyr journal and plant collection books that xe cherishes them dearly. While many is familiar with cherry blossom being linked to rebirth and new beginnings, because cherry blossoms are quick to die, it is also symbolized as loss and temporariness. Cherry blossoms is the life and death that Micah can associated with, being part of them both since the beginning of xyr existence. Although with everything, this tree is especially the representation of love itself.

Onto the secondary question re : Micah's gardening, for around ten years before the Antineon Hieraeon canon timeline, Micah had xyr personal garden shared with Adoniram's at the backyard of their home! ( In the present canon timeline, a close friend of Micah's and Adoniram’s, Father Lucas, have been taking care of their home along with the garden. ) The greenhouse, garden of flowers and natural food, and the treehouse were some of the things that xe most forward to having at xyr backyard when xe was house searching. Located at the secluded area where it is void of human related activities and disturbances, Micah's and Adoniram's backyard was as massive as their home, so they had plenty of space available to engage in gardening.

Micah sometimes donates xyr natural goods to the local food stores or food banks, as well as giving them and flowers to xyr friends and family relatives, also even strangers to make their days a bit more brighter. Phoebus highly enjoys tending to their plants and the garden is usually where they’d stay in more out of all spots at their home. Philos have a more difficult time handling plants, so he’d rather have Phoebus tend to them, but she does enjoy admiring their garden. Phobos had a " secret spot " somewhere in the garden where it could take care of a few carnivorous plants. Micah did discover them and question their existences, but didn't dwell on them for too long when xe also enjoyed carnivorous plants and believed xe did buy them, but forgot.

Micah's interest in gardening was inspired by not only the Ginkgo tree that their parents planted within xyr childhood home's backyard, but xe shared xyr mother's endless passion in the nature and art of gardening. Maria Everlove have always been most careful and precise taking care of their plants, and being able to sense how much the plants love her back, Micah deeply wished that one day, xe could have xyr own garden to love and care as well.

I’m sorry if this is disrespectful at all, but how did the cluster realize they were OSDDID?

Hello, Anonstar! This is a fantastic question, not disrespectful at all, no worries! Thank you so much for giving us an opportunity to talk about the Starwake System with xyr DID more! We have a post that entails general information of xyr condition here for an additional reference. While we will answer this question and cover few related topics around the Starwake System's DID, we will also be providing information with our own personal understanding and experiences with OSDDID to support certain details in the answer, as listed below:

 ⁰ Based on our own personal experiences and / or understanding with OSDDID.  ¹ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Basics: Presentation.  ² Boyer, S. M., Caplan, J. E., & Edwards, L. K. (2022). Trauma-Related Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders: Neglected Symptoms with Severe Public Health Consequences.  ³ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Origin: Synthesis.  ⁴ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Identity Alteration: Time Loss, Black Outs, and Co-consciousness.  ⁵ Encyclopedia of Psychology (n.d.), Dissociative Barriers.

* Content warning note : This answer mentions ableism, general child abuse and distress, car accidents; deaths, mental health related denial, misdiagnoses, and general traumas; so please read with caution.

Before we answer the questions of how the main Starwakers realized they have DID and were aware of each other's existences, it's important to first know the details of how the Starwake System's Dissociative Identity Disorder was formed, as provided from the study post that was shared above, along with the " basis " of OSDDID :

The first known alter is Micah Xenowake who developed Dissociative Identity Disorder when xe was five years old. Xyr mind fragmented from two to five due to the extreme stress Micah experienced in constantly moving between multiple foster homes, with the frequent changes happening in a short amount time of xyr life while feeling like a stranger in many homes, as well as xe faced every forms of abuse and neglect in several past families. From these events for three years, xe experienced episodes of dissociation and depersonalization before xe split off Phoebus, formerly known as Lyght, during a case when xe was trapped in a dark locked basement as forced to sleep there for the first time.

OSDDID is a mental condition that exists essentially to protect the individual from continuous distress and traumas while it can give them the necessities that people in the world have failed to provide. The quote, likely from this Tumblr post : ❝ I think ultimately you become whoever would have saved you that time that no one did ❞ is one of the best ways to explain OSDDID on its essential core.

Generally, in most cases, OSDDID have a covert nature and it is difficult to recognize in a person ( DIDR, n.d. )¹. This is to avoid danger and maintain protection within the system and the main fronting individual themself from traumatic events or external factors that is a threat to the system's and / or fronter's wellbeing ( i.e. abusers )⁰. Although there are severe health consequences that impact various life aspects in the long run from self identity and wellbeing, to personal relationship and academic studies, etcetera, OSDDID is meant to save the child, having symptoms like amnesia that acts as a defence mechanism to help them lose memories of traumas and dissociation as a form of psychiatric escape from traumas they can't physically retreat from ( Boyer et al, 2022 )².

Multiple alters exist in most systems, although depending on the alter's source ( that brought them into existence via splitting ), history, and role functions, as well as the system's level of amnesiac barriers and their current living conditions, they may not be partially to fully aware of some other alters or everyone else in the system ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴. This is generally because of the dissociative barriers that exist between the alters, which are psychological barriers that obstruct an individual’s ability to access memories or emotions related to an event, usually of traumatic nature ( EOP, n.d. )⁶. The barriers may prevent one alter to be aware of another, but some alters can develop certain degree of co-consciousness, ❝ the ability for two or more alters to remain present in the body or aware of the outside world at once ❞ ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴.

| Explanation of " Co-consciousness Levels " from the Dissociative Identity Disorder Research ( n.d. ) :

❝ [ . . . ] Co-consciousness is not necessarily extended to all alters. It may be that Alters A and B are always co-conscious with each other, but only Alter A can be co-conscious with Alter C. Meanwhile, Alter D may be able to watch the other alters although the others are not aware of Alter D and their activities in return, and Alter E might not be aware of any of the other alters nor any of the other alters aware of Alter E! Finally, Alters F and G might be co-conscious with each other but have to leave post-it notes for the rest of the system in order to communicate, and Alter H might be co-conscious with Alter A only some of the time or under certain conditions while Alter I has the ability to allow or not allow others to be co-conscious with them as they choose ( para. 5 ). ❞

Even though an alter is aware of the fronting alter who doesn't know they exist, depending on the system's current living environment and circumstances, the alter may not reveal themself to the fronter for many reasons from protecting the fronter and / or system while avoiding jeopardizing them, not feeling safe and comfortable enough for their existence to be known, to not finding it necessary for them to be a direct part of the system's life while they only prioritize internally stabilizing the system.⁰ However, the fronting alter may experience " partial intrusions " without knowledge or understanding of the sources if that alter is also present ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴. OSDDID having the covert nature in general explains why most systems don't realize they have OSDDID until later in life, especially at the age of twenties to even thirties.⁰

Re : The Starwake System's DID discovery and awareness, Micah was the one who got the official diagnosis from xyr OSDDID specialist and therapist when the system in April 2023, the time when Micah and Adoniram had a car accident from an unknown cause. Micah tried to save Adoniram who was trapped in the seatbelts as their car was upside down with the oil spilled out, but before xe could get him out, Phoebus fronted, seizing full control of their body, and abandoned him to protect the system and especially xem, forcing Micah to experience a blackout before xe " woke up " on xyr hospital bed, learning that Adoniram disappeared ( but was declared dead by the officials when his body couldn't be find a few weeks of search and rescue after ).

It's important to note Astereus / the Starwake System was misdiagnosed three times : ( 1. ) Borderline Personality Disorder at age fifteen, ( 2. ) Bipolar Disorder at sixteen, ( 3. ) and eighteen with Schizophrenia while being told Dissociative Identity Disorder wasn't real. In addition, when Micah was eight, xyr amnesia and time losses from the blackouts was believed to be linked to extreme fatigue due to sleeping poorly, having insomnia. There was little information on DID nor general dissociative disorders at the time when Astereus grew up, hence, not many non-professional and professional people could understand xyr experiences nor have the knowledge to see the symptoms are based on dissociation and dissociative identity.

Micah's close friend and occasional detective partner, Daniel Darling, have OSDD-1, a partial form of DID, and after Micah shared xyr experinces of time and memory loses to him, from sharing similar experiences, he said xe could have OSDDID. For seventeen years since xyr third attempt of diagnose, Micah believed xe have Schizophrenia and xe was hesitate to seek diagnosis for the fourth time, but from Adoniram's first death that Micah have painfully failed to prevent it from happening because of the blackout, this gave Micah the push to reach out to xyr art and music therapist, Alyx, who referred xem to the OSDDID specialist and then finally, at the age of mid thirties, xyr DID therapist confirmed xe does have DID after all.

With the other main earliest known Starwakers' DID realization and awareness :

Phoebus : They have always known Micah since they were created, being co-conscious with them as Micah was in distress from being trapped in the basement that was completely dark. Because Phoebus have the main responsibilities of ensuring safety and stability within the Starwake System, they were able to keep close track of the system changes and alter creations while their co-consciousness developed further over time. From this, they were able to learn Philos' and Phobos' existences. Before, Phoebus couldn't understand how they and Micah shared the same body, but they had a strange tugging feeling akin to protectiveness with Micah that made them focus more on being with Micah rather than dwelling on the wondering of " what they are ".

Philos : In the beginning, she didn't know other alters existed until some weeks later since she came into existence, she met Phoebus in their internal world, although Philos only viewed Phoebus as an " imaginary friend ". It was when Phobos came around, Philos then came to a thought that there was " something wrong " with them, but wasn't sure how to describe this position. Philos met Phobos some time later out of curiosity, being drawn to its sharp and aggressive personality. Philos learnt Micah's existence at the same time as Phobos.

Phobos : Phobos also had no awareness of the other alters in the beginning, but at a certain point met Philos who sometimes visited it via sharing co-consciousness. Phobos thought Philos was a ghost possessing their body, but didn't make a huge deal about it when Phobos thought it was cool to have a ghost, even though it thought Philos himself was annoying to be with. Phobos learnt about Phoebus and Micah when they were a preteen, Phoebus co-fronting to stop it from retaliating one of Micah's and Adoniram's bullies who hurt them. Phobos didn't care about what they are or have to make them share a single body as long as it can have some freedom interacting with the outside world.

Ultimately, Micah was the only main Starwaker in the system who didn't have complete awareness of having other alters until xe was in mid thirties. The reasons Phoebus, Philos, and Phobos kept their existences hidden from Micah, even after a point when Micah was fully independent and free of continuous stress and danger, are that Phoebus felt as it'd be best to give Micah the most " normal and peaceful " life as possible that xe couldn't have when xe was younger, originally seeing this life they share was Micah's rather the whole system's. Phoebus was also afraid if Micah knew about their existences, xe'd shun them and learning the fact xe have DID would distress xem, which was a case as xe was in denial for a few months, having strained relationships with the others and especially Phoebus, before xe came to terms with xyr DID and everyone improved on communicating and connecting with each other since.

Although it took a very long time for the Starwake System to finally have the answer to what they'd go through from xyr DID, and the answer was overwhelming for especially Micah, they're all still most grateful they would find the time when they could understand their DID and each other more to hold a healthier and stronger system.

　◜ 𝑰 . ◞　The first time when Micah met Ahri in the dream where there's only kindness in shining stars ⅋ blooming flowers between them , deep within their exchange , xe could sense her gaze lingering over xyr body : Bare appearing , all bearing scars ⅋ unhealed bruises ⅋ deep burnt tales ▬▬▬

　　　　　　( You are used to diverse reactions that you'd get seeing your damaged body , unloved by the world . At five years old , you viciously refused to bathe for the first time at your new home , not wanting your new wounds to be seen , still uncared for . You expected responses of anger , wild burning through you , but there was a woman who didn't do anything to you . She only sat in the tub , her clothes soaked . The bathroom door was open . She wasn't trapping you as you had a choice to leave . Eventually , you stayed with her . You stayed with your pain hidden , ⅋ when she saw it one day ▬ everything ▬ she still stayed with you . The man she loved , he didn't get to see until few months later , yet , he also stayed with you . Your parents never saw you as a tragedy . You have always been their beloved star child . )

　　　　　　Ahri didn't say anything about Micah's scars in the end . Instead , while it seemed like she understand xyr state most painfully , as a tender whisper : ❝ ⅋ I wish I could tell you that the aching was a beautiful rebirth of some magnificent kind , but there is no beauty to be found in this kind of survival . ❞

　　　　　　Micah breathed with the burning stars above , even through the long ⅋ deep felt aches , the brightest could think ▬ say : I am still here , I am still here , I am still here ▬ ( ⅋ isn't that terrifyingly beautiful enough ? ) ❝ As long as I am still alive , trying to love the universe as much as myself , I think that will be always beautiful enough to me . ❞ This God eating hope , it is beautiful / horrifying / everything at once .

　　　　　　Xe smiled ⅋ held Ahri's clawed hand , like the moon holding the sun .

　◜ 𝑰𝑰 . ◞　Micah gave Ahri a bracelet on the second occasion where xe met her in person a near month after meeting her in the dream . When xe finally found her outside the dream realm that gave xem a map to Ahri's residence , the kindness that xe held for her despite knowing in a short time was infinite . This created trails of flowers xyr footsteps left behind until xe reached to the forest that welcomed xem home .

　　　　　　❝ I wanted to gift you a flower, but . . . please , have my garden . ❞ / ❝ Oh precious star , I do not need a gift , not when you have come to me . ❞

　　　　　　Rosy blushes formed in Micah's warm cheeks at the recall , though , how xe kept shining more as xe gently took Ahri's hand so she could slip into the bracelet . ❝ I love making arts so much , especially for those I care about . ❞ The people who I love . Micah softly smiles . The bracelet Ahri wears is a silver chain with lavender crystal spheres , carrying the pendant shaped as a fox , sculpted by the kind hands of the everbright constellation .

　　　　　　In great care , xyr hands guided the bracelet to Ahri's wrist , ⅋ , from watching closely , she could see black spots on certain areas of xyr left , skin parts void of blood / life . Yet , even though these cut scars across them existed , all agony bearing , xyr gentle hands felt like coming home . ( What possessed such unbearable light , light , light ▬ ) Ahri's gaze lifted as Micah raised her hand .

　　　　　　Xe kissed her wrist that carried the bracelet , this endless love .

　◜ 𝑰𝑰𝑰 . ◞　Micah have stayed over at Ahri's home for one night . They shared a tender evening that soon formed a rainy weather , ⅋ Ahri insisted xem to stay or xe could get sick from the rainfall . The weather continued at past midnight when Micah was finally going to bed , xyr body once restless from xyr insomnia . Sensitive to clothing materials , Micah removed xyr shirt for better chance of quickly falling asleep ⅋ lied down on the cool sheet , softly wishing Ahri goodnight .

　　　　　　Several minutes passed before Ahri noticed , as much as Micah tried xyr best to appear as otherwise so xe wouldn't disturb her rest , that xe was still awake from hearing the occasional shuffles , seemingly in an uncomfortable position .

　　　　　　Concerned , Ahri planned to ask what's wrong before Micah whispered ,

　　　　　　❝ Ahri , can you sleep next to me , please ? ❞

　　　　　　She learnt xe usually couldn't sleep without having something to hold , like a soft blanket or plushie . Micah sought comfort in her presence , a hunger shaped as vixen teeth ⅋ claws , sweet sanguine ⅋ deadly lavender wild nature . In Ahri , through man massacres born from animalistic instincts , xe saw a friend .

　　　　　　Ahri carefully held xem , watching the stars slowly dim in her embrace . Micah kept giggling , xyr eyes squinted . Sleepy giddiness built in xem from hugging Ahri's arm , nuzzling her shoulder . From this position , she could see finer details of xyr scars ⅋ tattoos across xyr body . Beauty ⅋ horror stared back at her .

　　　　　　She didn't touch them . She couldn't .

　　　　　　Micah soon fell silent ⅋ still .

　　　　　　Ahri held xem closely to her chest , protecting her stars .

　◜ 𝑽𝑰 . ◞　On the full moon , Micah ⅋ Ahri were bathing in the lunar light together , the stars shining upon their existences with the motherly moon . Rested against the open field on their backs , they exchanged personal facts ⅋ stories , finding joys in the smallest details of each other .

　　　　　　Ahri's gaze softened at the sight of Micah , xyr facial expression lax while xyr body radiates silver serenity . She sensed waves of tenderness rolling over from xem . Micah made a happy squeak ⅋ leaned closer , xyr face pressed into the warm curve of Ahri's neck .

　　　　　　Between them , only love lived freely .

　　　　　　Upon midnight , Ahri saw faint light ⅋ glanced down , seeing Micah's scars glow gently with the moon ⅋ stars . Xe didn't seem to notice , xyr focus had been on Ahri's hands that xe's playing with , finger lightly tracing along the palm lines . ( Maybe Micah already knew , but didn't want to bring so much attention to them . )

　　　　　　Her fingers hovered over the glowing scars . She still didn't touch them . She wanted to know who could hurt xem like this . Who would desire to inflict Micah while xe had brought kindness to this world . Who did she have to kill ▬

　　　　　　❝ You can touch them , ❞ Micah's whisper broke the silence , xyr soft gaze on Ahri's palms not once breaking . Xe held her hands to xyr chest , xyr open heart , ❝ I trust you , Ahri , ❞ I love you .

　　　　　　Ahri's hands slowly lifted to hold xyr cheeks , her thumbs brushing skin .

　　　　　　Her lips met Micah's scar on the bridge of xyr nose .

　　　　　　Between the cerulean sky ⅋ sanguine wilderness , love still stayed .

　◜ 𝑽 . ◞　Ahri stared at the new slow healing wounds ⅋ scars that Micah's body held , the most prominent being a deep line around xyr neck . It had been a while since she last saw xem ⅋ finding Micah once more in a wounded state , the sight hurt Ahri . This pain have worsened when Micah greeted her like nothing happened to xem . Micah kept shining , even in the abyss . The world didn't love xem enough as it seemed since a very long time , yet , Micah only kept loving it .

　　　　　　The world should be horrified by xyr impossible endurance .

　　　　　　Ahri found a warm smile on Micah's face , xyr eyes bright as always , before she was embraced in xyr arms ▬ what felt like home , home , home ▬ Ahri returned xem the gesture , but didn't let go of xem .

　　　　　　She held Micah close with all of the stars in xem ⅋ these scars on xem .

　　　　　　❝ Thank you , ❞ Micah softly said to Ahri , xyr gaze meeting hers ⅋ everything in her shattered at the gleams across the eyes , tears bearing . Xyr grasp around her tightened . ❝ Thank you for being kind to me , Ahri . ❞

　　　　　　Her heart ached deeply at the gratitude that xe didn't need to give , not when xe had only ever been kind to all . She wanted to ask what happened so she could tear everyone who laid a finger on Micah , DEVOUR / DEVOUR / DEVOUR ▬

　　　　　　A feeble cry left Micah shaking terribly , broken apart into stardust .

　　　　　　Ahri found it was not violence or vengance that xe needed . Xyr body shook ⅋ she saw it was begging to be held , to be loved still even after everything .

　　　　　　She kept holding xem , reminding Micah that xe was still loved ▬

　　　　　　She loved xem .

　◜ ⁺𝑰𝑽 . ◞　Micah stares at Ahri , their presences pressed against each other at her abode . Much time was taken for Micah to find xemself back to reality , to Ahri , ⅋ found calmness . Micah's hand held Ahri's , loved hand in loving hand .

　　　　　　❝ Most of what we have , the older ones , they came from our childhood , ❞ Micah quietly shares to her . Ahri didn't say anything , but the way she has been looking at xem , her gaze of sorrow asked xem everything . When Micah said , we , xe meant the Starwake System . She may not understand human health conditions that are as complex as Dissociative Identity Disorder , but even as sharp ⅋ stealthy Ahri is , a fear to man , xe trusted her more than enough to disclose xyr DID ▬ I am not one / I am one of the many / We exist so none of us could ever be all alone ever again ▬

　　　　　　Micah doesn't say more . The word , childhood , said painfully enough . Xe gently guides Ahri's hand to touch xyr arm , most skin being burnt . Xe feels nothing when she touches this part , but the memories burn all deeply through xem . ❝ I did this to us when I was five years old , after I killed my latest foster family who did really bad things to us . . . ❞ Micah grimaces , but xe still lets Ahri hold xyr burnt arm . ❝ I can't remember why I did it . ❞ Maybe I did it because I wanted to know if this was all real ▬ if I was real enough , even in all of these white noises . Mama , I lived , raised by the ghosts in my head .

　　　　　　❝ There is no beauty found in this kind of survival , ❞ Micah echoes the words Ahri said to xem when they first met in that ethereal dream , xyr voice gentle . ❝ But we are still here , I am still here . I still love . ❞ ⅋ that has to mean more than shattered selves ⅋ faint shadows ⅋ dead dreams . Tears roll over Micah's cheeks , but xe doesn't stop speaking from the bottom of xyr celestial heart . Micah never stops trying to love . ❝ I want that to be good enough . ❞ I am trying everything in me to make my constant existence mean good enough .

　　　　　　Micah softly smiles at @vulpesse ▬ despite , despite , DESPITE ▬ ❝ I am forever most grateful that I still exist so I could meet you . ❞ Xe leans further against her , head on shoulder . ❝ I love you , Ahri . ❞ This is a promise made by the endless brightest stars , gently given to the she - fox with sharp claws ⅋ wild eyes ⅋ sanguine teeth . This endless love of Micah's for Ahri , it does not flinch at the thousand raging suns in her wild heart .

　　　　　　Her clawed hand in xyr burnt hand , love stayed , becoming home .

In Pandora where horrors linger forever deep in the shapes of humans and monsters, it's bound for cautiousness would be held tightly against the celestial heart. Especially given the long and ongoing event of the Infernal Infinity placing a target on xem, the concept of peace has become nothing more than a sharp blur. Every Starwakers have been on edge since their recent temporary death, although Micah continues to venture out on the wild planet, determined to seek clues that will take xem to the answers they need to bring harmony. The paranatural phenomenons with the sentient shadows and reflections continue to rise from from their sources who they murdered. Despite the terror always following xem close, Micah needs to believe in xemself still─ HOPE─

"How long have you been standing there?"

Micah can't see the other's face, hood concealed from curious eyes of xyrs while xe stands perfectly still before him. He seems to be in some sort of an inconvenience that have pulled xyr attention closer while xe was on investigation. Waves of distrust flow within xem, coming from a single to few co-conscious Starwakers, like Phoebus and Phobos, not wanting them to be placed in danger by Micah's concern for everyone around them. Love, it is as gentle as it is violent. Yet, the constellation made in the name of love still reach out to him, unmoved as providing space. "Like, half a minute," Micah answers gently to @jackdup with a smile, warm and genuine as the sun itself, "Do you need help there?" xe offers him support, hoping he won't see xem as a threat.

🐰 HOPPY 🏳️‍⚧️TRANSGENDER 🗓DAY OF VISIBILITY 🔍👀 AND 🐣EASTER ✝️!! Today we celebrate 🥳 TWO 👯‍♂️ kinds of REBIRTH 🔃 and hunt 🔎👁for TWO 👯‍♂️ kinds of EGGS 🐣🥚🍳. Millennia ago, after being NAILED 🔨🍆 to a cross, ✝️Jesus🤴 WOKE 👀 and LEFT ⬅️ the tomb 🪨🪦 empty and gaping 🕳 . Kings 🤴, queens 👸, AND in-betweens 🫅, 🙏HE🤴✝️ IS RISEN 🍆💦 so put on some pastels 🏳️‍⚧️ and ➡️go💦🍆 fuck 👉👌like 🐰rabbits🐇🐇 Daddy Joe 🇺🇲👴is recognizing both👯‍♂️ of these beautiful✨️🌱 events 🗓today!! God 🌈loves💕 and protects all 🌈 in his flock 🐑 so go pound 🤛🍆 some 👦boy♂️ pussy 🐈😼 or suck 💦 some ♀️gock 👧🐓 in honor of ✝️Christ💒 Send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ Trans 🏳️‍⚧️ Thots 👯‍♂️ if you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back the Easter Bunny 🐰 will fill 🥧your hole 🕳 with fertile 💕🌱eggs 🥚 if you get 5️⃣ back you're getting 💦nailed 🔨 if you get 2️⃣ back your egg 🥚💕 still hasn't cracked 🐣🏳️‍⚧️ and if you don't️🚫 get any 0️⃣👎you're still CHASING 🏃‍♂️💨 rabbits 🐇

micah stands between reality and unreality, their expression blank and eyes void of light as there is a figure before them. white noises fill in heavy air with its soft muffled sounds — they try to listen more, break through the deep numbness that is drowning them whole — "you're bleeding —" their memories are in distortion, meaningless. they can't remember how they reached here. everything feels so far away. nothing makes sense. everywhere burns and burns and b — slowly, carefully, they touch their hips, palms bearing blood that is real and fake all at sickening once. you're bleeding — i'm dying —

"i'm okay."

a voice falls firm and sharper gaze lifts — phoebus stares at charlie, their grip against the wound tighten to keep the blood from leaving their sore body. "do you - do you have a medical kit around here ??" visions blur, they don't realize they're shaking, coldness embracing them entirely. phoebus steps into charlie's home, trying not to fall, despite the heavy weight present on their existence. they shouldn't be here to protect @goodheartt, but, micah — "just ... give me some time and space, and my hips will be f- fine all patched up." more blood takes over their skin, the floor, then all around them —

phoebus closes their eyes.

this is us, thank you.

Yes, beloved, this is us in a different universe

maybe the one piece is these one piece canned sparkling water that gives you one piece related dreams all along.

Maybe the One Piece is the friendships we made along the way.

this is you, actually.

🥺 [ pleading ]﹕ I am very shy in general. 🥺 👉👈

babe............................................................................................................................................

we don't follow each other but i stumbled across your posts talking about OSDDID and saw the unkind anon you got as well. i really wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience on here - as someone who doesn't know much about OSDDID or DID, i appreciate reading the perspective of someone who does experience it. i hope it was alright for me to say this; mostly i just hope you all have a great night. thanks for being kind and compassionate.

This is more than alright for you to say this. It is too rare for kind people like you to approach with an open mind and genuine heart, so, thank you endlessly for your kindness.

We are never bothered by people who are unkind to us with our plurality and experiences around it because, at the end of the day, we know ourselves best and better than anyone can. Ever. We've done extensive research prior coming to terms that we have OSDD1 and still do afterward, knew some OSDDID individuals in the rpc and learn more about it from their personal perspectives and experiences, we have a lot of frightening and unnerving experiences that I would not be alive or even be okay at all mentally or physically today without my starmates. My starmates, especially that special one who I'm forever beyond delighted and thankful to have them as my significant beloved, have done and said so many things for the past few year since discovering my cluster that make me see we are all real enough as so our memories and experiences with each other. We and especially I didn't have to go through all of this with the doubt and fear just for some faceless ignorant strangers from the internet to invalidate our OSDDID and existences.

OSDDID is an extremely stigmatized and villainized condition that people like to use as a weapon against others because it is such an easily misunderstood and hard to grasp condition. Yes, some people have faked it and used it to get away with things, hence this general wariness in interacting with OSDDID individuals along with the harmful stereotypes and portrayals established by the problematic medias like Split, but people should have a mindset that it's always better to learn that they'd be lied to than to claim they're faking because fakeclaiming can do significant damages to an individual. Plus, the people who does lie about their condition will usually get some sort of consequences at some point if they continue pretending over time, so I’d rather believe in that person who’d face their consequences, internally and externally, and improve from those mistakes than outright calling them a liar and whatnot. People don't know each other but themselves more with their brain, past, current life, known conditions, etcetera. As long as people aren't being harmful to themself and those around them, why should any of us be concerned if they have this or that or not?

We and especially I are open about our plurality on online public along with writing a system muse because we want to reduce the stigma and unfamiliarity of OSDDID. We have received so many hate and judgmental anonymous asks towards our plurality since May 2022, but we will never ever back down because of these people who we can only most hope that they will one day reflect on their actions and improve on themselves, educate themselves if they can as well. This is who we are and we are proud of ourselves enough for that. But while there are many people in the world who will never change for the better and continue to spread hate, at least there are also just as many people like you who are kind and loving. It's just easier to hate than to love in general cases, unfortunately. That's why this ask along with you are extremely appreciated and cherished. Thank you forever for this and your kindness. We wish you a wonderful night and rest of your life as you so deserve. Much love and light. 💖✨

Me autismly staring at these mun prompts like ...........................

WE ALL SHARE A BIRTHDAY MONTH????? GASP!!!!!

DECEMBER BABIES!!! At least, you share Micah's 2023 birthmonth! As mentioned a few times before, Micah doesn't have a birthday since no one could find their birth records or anything of them as they were found abandoned when they were an infant.

Their chosen birthday could have been the day when they were officially adopted into the Everlove family at the age of five on August 11 ( known to be the final day of the "dog days" ), but as a child who didn't get to celebrate birthdays until they were six, Micah felt disconnected with the fact that they'd even exist and had trouble grasping the idea they could celebrate their day of existence on that specific day, so when they were eight years old, their parents, Maria and Caelum, suggested to let them choose a month to celebrate their birthday.

It's a beautiful gesture because this lessens the severity of this mindset and feeling Micah held that they weren't given a choice to become into existence and continue existing, so for their parents to let them choose a month to celebrate their existence per year, it helps them a lot with finding some form of control over their existence and life and identity, which is extremely important to their current personal belief of how they should always have control over so in some way and to some degree.

This year of 2023, Micah didn't get to, however, because so much happened since they lost Adoniram and became an Antigod on April that this special tradition wasn't something that just come across to their mind, which is exactly what Fate would've want for them to lose that connection with themself and their existence as they're further subjected to the violence and agony and death across 2023. Phoebus tried to bring it up to them on November, but Micah just didn't end up thinking about it long enough and brushed it aside. ( This drabble explains more of this aspect, how Micah actually couldn't choose when they would like to celebrate their existence while they didn't feel as they did deserve to have it celebrated due to various events of 2023 that they believe they are responsible for them ).

Micah would always tell their parents what month they'd want to celebrate their existence, but because they haven't, their parents was worried for them and they decided they'll throw them a surprise birthday party when they visit them this coming December for the holidays! This month is also the birthmonth of Micah's youngest sibling, Evangel / @hopeborn who'll be turning eighteen on Christmas Eve, so!

Very fun times next month! 🤍❄️🤍❄️🤍❄️

a few days later after the grand final trial, micah finds themself in the dreaming where they meet the dream of endless, its presence cold and distant as ever, though, there is a certain raw shift in the celestial atmosphere between them that does not bring micah apprehension, but comfort providing. it knows. IT KNOWS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AT THE REALM OF DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES — screams follow micah, their body flinching at the pressed dark memories, eyes burnt. it knows the people who were caught within the dreamloop by the metaeide of cycles, the saints who died by the cruel hands of the infernals — BYTE, BYTE, B Y T E —

goodbye, micah. it was an honor getting to exist with you. thank you for being my closest friend. for only ever believing in me —

❛ i'm so sorry, ❜ is micah's first uttered words to the tragedy that they have created, placed out before @somneiroi / @narrated as sanguine hands and mouth dripping dreamdust, awake and real and painfully alive. this is an apology to everyone who micah failed to protect — SAVE — i did not save everyone — byte — I FELL TO THE DREAMLOOP WHERE I SAW ME AND MYSELF AND I, ONLY EVER WANTING TO GO H O M E — time spilled not with sands but blood once micah broke free from their own cycle, yet, they were too late to aid those held down by the metaeide nevertheless. micah have failed the endless of dream.

dreams became forever and many innocents were trapped in them to their death.

don't you see? strange things have been happening from and to micah themself. micah is going to kill us all —

dream's voice breaks through the memory of grimgrins', quiet, but honest still, real enough to frighten micah who does not believe so. micah doesn't realize how much their body trembles until they see their knees nearly close to the sandy surface, deep guilt and grief borne on them. tears roll over their cheeks, more and more while their visions blur before they feel like blood is leaving them shaken terribly, all so broken. you did everything you could. YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD. micah shakes their head in disbelief and they feel a body forming on them. byte's, dead. dead. DEAD / YOU KILLED BYTE — ❛ but was it truly enough? ❜

in response to their agony, the dreaming falls silence and the universe closes its eyes.

micah falls to the ground on sore knees, shakily sobbing, their sorrow sky shattering.

one by one, the stars flicker, then vanish, leaving above only the infinite darkness.