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solarisgod · 19 days

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　◜ 𝑰 . ◞　The first time when Micah met Ahri in the dream where there's only kindness in shining stars ⅋ blooming flowers between them , deep within their exchange , xe could sense her gaze lingering over xyr body : Bare appearing , all bearing scars ⅋ unhealed bruises ⅋ deep burnt tales ▬▬▬

　　　　　　( You are used to diverse reactions that you'd get seeing your damaged body , unloved by the world . At five years old , you viciously refused to bathe for the first time at your new home , not wanting your new wounds to be seen , still uncared for . You expected responses of anger , wild burning through you , but there was a woman who didn't do anything to you . She only sat in the tub , her clothes soaked . The bathroom door was open . She wasn't trapping you as you had a choice to leave . Eventually , you stayed with her . You stayed with your pain hidden , ⅋ when she saw it one day ▬ everything ▬ she still stayed with you . The man she loved , he didn't get to see until few months later , yet , he also stayed with you . Your parents never saw you as a tragedy . You have always been their beloved star child . )

　　　　　　Ahri didn't say anything about Micah's scars in the end . Instead , while it seemed like she understand xyr state most painfully , as a tender whisper : ❝ ⅋ I wish I could tell you that the aching was a beautiful rebirth of some magnificent kind , but there is no beauty to be found in this kind of survival . ❞

　　　　　　Micah breathed with the burning stars above , even through the long ⅋ deep felt aches , the brightest could think ▬ say : I am still here , I am still here , I am still here ▬ ( ⅋ isn't that terrifyingly beautiful enough ? ) ❝ As long as I am still alive , trying to love the universe as much as myself , I think that will be always beautiful enough to me . ❞ This God eating hope , it is beautiful / horrifying / everything at once .

　　　　　　Xe smiled ⅋ held Ahri's clawed hand , like the moon holding the sun .

　◜ 𝑰𝑰 . ◞　Micah gave Ahri a bracelet on the second occasion where xe met her in person a near month after meeting her in the dream . When xe finally found her outside the dream realm that gave xem a map to Ahri's residence , the kindness that xe held for her despite knowing in a short time was infinite . This created trails of flowers xyr footsteps left behind until xe reached to the forest that welcomed xem home .

　　　　　　❝ I wanted to gift you a flower, but . . . please , have my garden . ❞ / ❝ Oh precious star , I do not need a gift , not when you have come to me . ❞

　　　　　　Rosy blushes formed in Micah's warm cheeks at the recall , though , how xe kept shining more as xe gently took Ahri's hand so she could slip into the bracelet . ❝ I love making arts so much , especially for those I care about . ❞ The people who I love . Micah softly smiles . The bracelet Ahri wears is a silver chain with lavender crystal spheres , carrying the pendant shaped as a fox , sculpted by the kind hands of the everbright constellation .

　　　　　　In great care , xyr hands guided the bracelet to Ahri's wrist , ⅋ , from watching closely , she could see black spots on certain areas of xyr left , skin parts void of blood / life . Yet , even though these cut scars across them existed , all agony bearing , xyr gentle hands felt like coming home . ( What possessed such unbearable light , light , light ▬ ) Ahri's gaze lifted as Micah raised her hand .

　　　　　　Xe kissed her wrist that carried the bracelet , this endless love .

　◜ 𝑰𝑰𝑰 . ◞　Micah have stayed over at Ahri's home for one night . They shared a tender evening that soon formed a rainy weather , ⅋ Ahri insisted xem to stay or xe could get sick from the rainfall . The weather continued at past midnight when Micah was finally going to bed , xyr body once restless from xyr insomnia . Sensitive to clothing materials , Micah removed xyr shirt for better chance of quickly falling asleep ⅋ lied down on the cool sheet , softly wishing Ahri goodnight .

　　　　　　Several minutes passed before Ahri noticed , as much as Micah tried xyr best to appear as otherwise so xe wouldn't disturb her rest , that xe was still awake from hearing the occasional shuffles , seemingly in an uncomfortable position .

　　　　　　Concerned , Ahri planned to ask what's wrong before Micah whispered ,

　　　　　　❝ Ahri , can you sleep next to me , please ? ❞

　　　　　　She learnt xe usually couldn't sleep without having something to hold , like a soft blanket or plushie . Micah sought comfort in her presence , a hunger shaped as vixen teeth ⅋ claws , sweet sanguine ⅋ deadly lavender wild nature . In Ahri , through man massacres born from animalistic instincts , xe saw a friend .

　　　　　　Ahri carefully held xem , watching the stars slowly dim in her embrace . Micah kept giggling , xyr eyes squinted . Sleepy giddiness built in xem from hugging Ahri's arm , nuzzling her shoulder . From this position , she could see finer details of xyr scars ⅋ tattoos across xyr body . Beauty ⅋ horror stared back at her .

　　　　　　She didn't touch them . She couldn't .

　　　　　　Micah soon fell silent ⅋ still .

　　　　　　Ahri held xem closely to her chest , protecting her stars .

　◜ 𝑽𝑰 . ◞　On the full moon , Micah ⅋ Ahri were bathing in the lunar light together , the stars shining upon their existences with the motherly moon . Rested against the open field on their backs , they exchanged personal facts ⅋ stories , finding joys in the smallest details of each other .

　　　　　　Ahri's gaze softened at the sight of Micah , xyr facial expression lax while xyr body radiates silver serenity . She sensed waves of tenderness rolling over from xem . Micah made a happy squeak ⅋ leaned closer , xyr face pressed into the warm curve of Ahri's neck .

　　　　　　Between them , only love lived freely .

　　　　　　Upon midnight , Ahri saw faint light ⅋ glanced down , seeing Micah's scars glow gently with the moon ⅋ stars . Xe didn't seem to notice , xyr focus had been on Ahri's hands that xe's playing with , finger lightly tracing along the palm lines . ( Maybe Micah already knew , but didn't want to bring so much attention to them . )

　　　　　　Her fingers hovered over the glowing scars . She still didn't touch them . She wanted to know who could hurt xem like this . Who would desire to inflict Micah while xe had brought kindness to this world . Who did she have to kill ▬

　　　　　　❝ You can touch them , ❞ Micah's whisper broke the silence , xyr soft gaze on Ahri's palms not once breaking . Xe held her hands to xyr chest , xyr open heart , ❝ I trust you , Ahri , ❞ I love you .

　　　　　　Ahri's hands slowly lifted to hold xyr cheeks , her thumbs brushing skin .

　　　　　　Her lips met Micah's scar on the bridge of xyr nose .

　　　　　　Between the cerulean sky ⅋ sanguine wilderness , love still stayed .

　◜ 𝑽 . ◞　Ahri stared at the new slow healing wounds ⅋ scars that Micah's body held , the most prominent being a deep line around xyr neck . It had been a while since she last saw xem ⅋ finding Micah once more in a wounded state , the sight hurt Ahri . This pain have worsened when Micah greeted her like nothing happened to xem . Micah kept shining , even in the abyss . The world didn't love xem enough as it seemed since a very long time , yet , Micah only kept loving it .

　　　　　　The world should be horrified by xyr impossible endurance .

　　　　　　Ahri found a warm smile on Micah's face , xyr eyes bright as always , before she was embraced in xyr arms ▬ what felt like home , home , home ▬ Ahri returned xem the gesture , but didn't let go of xem .

　　　　　　She held Micah close with all of the stars in xem ⅋ these scars on xem .

　　　　　　❝ Thank you , ❞ Micah softly said to Ahri , xyr gaze meeting hers ⅋ everything in her shattered at the gleams across the eyes , tears bearing . Xyr grasp around her tightened . ❝ Thank you for being kind to me , Ahri . ❞

　　　　　　Her heart ached deeply at the gratitude that xe didn't need to give , not when xe had only ever been kind to all . She wanted to ask what happened so she could tear everyone who laid a finger on Micah , DEVOUR / DEVOUR / DEVOUR ▬

　　　　　　A feeble cry left Micah shaking terribly , broken apart into stardust .

　　　　　　Ahri found it was not violence or vengance that xe needed . Xyr body shook ⅋ she saw it was begging to be held , to be loved still even after everything .

　　　　　　She kept holding xem , reminding Micah that xe was still loved ▬

　　　　　　She loved xem .

　◜ ⁺𝑰𝑽 . ◞　Micah stares at Ahri , their presences pressed against each other at her abode . Much time was taken for Micah to find xemself back to reality , to Ahri , ⅋ found calmness . Micah's hand held Ahri's , loved hand in loving hand .

　　　　　　❝ Most of what we have , the older ones , they came from our childhood , ❞ Micah quietly shares to her . Ahri didn't say anything , but the way she has been looking at xem , her gaze of sorrow asked xem everything . When Micah said , we , xe meant the Starwake System . She may not understand human health conditions that are as complex as Dissociative Identity Disorder , but even as sharp ⅋ stealthy Ahri is , a fear to man , xe trusted her more than enough to disclose xyr DID ▬ I am not one / I am one of the many / We exist so none of us could ever be all alone ever again ▬

　　　　　　Micah doesn't say more . The word , childhood , said painfully enough . Xe gently guides Ahri's hand to touch xyr arm , most skin being burnt . Xe feels nothing when she touches this part , but the memories burn all deeply through xem . ❝ I did this to us when I was five years old , after I killed my latest foster family who did really bad things to us . . . ❞ Micah grimaces , but xe still lets Ahri hold xyr burnt arm . ❝ I can't remember why I did it . ❞ Maybe I did it because I wanted to know if this was all real ▬ if I was real enough , even in all of these white noises . Mama , I lived , raised by the ghosts in my head .

　　　　　　❝ There is no beauty found in this kind of survival , ❞ Micah echoes the words Ahri said to xem when they first met in that ethereal dream , xyr voice gentle . ❝ But we are still here , I am still here . I still love . ❞ ⅋ that has to mean more than shattered selves ⅋ faint shadows ⅋ dead dreams . Tears roll over Micah's cheeks , but xe doesn't stop speaking from the bottom of xyr celestial heart . Micah never stops trying to love . ❝ I want that to be good enough . ❞ I am trying everything in me to make my constant existence mean good enough .

　　　　　　Micah softly smiles at @vulpesse ▬ despite , despite , DESPITE ▬ ❝ I am forever most grateful that I still exist so I could meet you . ❞ Xe leans further against her , head on shoulder . ❝ I love you , Ahri . ❞ This is a promise made by the endless brightest stars , gently given to the she - fox with sharp claws ⅋ wild eyes ⅋ sanguine teeth . This endless love of Micah's for Ahri , it does not flinch at the thousand raging suns in her wild heart .

　　　　　　Her clawed hand in xyr burnt hand , love stayed , becoming home .

#VULPESSE #ASK TO TAG CW #CHILD ABUSE CW #MURDER CW #SCARS CW #SELF HARM CW #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ IC . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ ANSWERS . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ DRABBLES . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH . ›#[ starrtsi fuckgn cyrign and scremsign and sobibngn andsdgskm ]#[ OKAY OKA YOKAY O KAYAO I AM ]#[ WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS BUNSTAR IM SONBSDJNSNK]#[

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