#so if thats easy to comprehend then why is it so hard for people to understand that jason and tim (at least in fucking preboot) Do Not See
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I'm not trying to be an asshole but I think the funniest thing about fandom discourse is that the same kinda people who will tell you to kys for "liking incest" all because you ship two characters with the same mentor are the SAME PEOPLE that will bend over backwards to defend the most uninspired, bland, and toxic ass ship you've ever seen just because it's canon and het.
#save gotham MY way#you beat the shit out of me to get back at bruce#no. I beat you down so you'd realize robin meant *pain*#and would quit#i- oh...#i have your back. i know no one else in this fucking 'family' does but- but i do#well. cass does too but-#yeah. yeah ive got yours too.#yes this is me being salty but. fucking listen. cassandra cain was not adopted by bruce untol she was something like 19 fucking years old.#she came into that family absolutely READY to really Be part of the family#because outside of bab's mentorship/mothering role she'd never HAD one before.#so she immediately took to dick as her older brkther and tim as her little brother; despite the fact that neither of them jad trusted her#at ALL when she'd first showed up. but you know what the fuck else is Just as likely? This grown ass woman seeing them#as her brothers in arms rather than her Brothers.#and that makes sense. right? a 20 y/o woman going jnto the marines doesnt suddenly view all of her basic training peers the same way as she#sees the two annoying kid brothers she left back home. and instead these guys are now her brothers in arms. the people who are going to#watch her back while she watches theirs.#so if thats easy to comprehend then why is it so hard for people to understand that jason and tim (at least in fucking preboot) Do Not See#Each Other As Brothers. hell! preboot jason is a straight up villain! and one that both hates what tim represents as robin but also#has a high level of respect for tims capability as a hero! preboot jason considered/worked with exactly Two People in his entire 6 years#and they were Scarlet and Tim.#he had trust issues put the fucking door and Didnt Like People and he *still* put her cards out there during bftc to ask tim to work#with him. and sure. bftc fucking sucks. cass should have been batman and just reverted him to urban legend status within the media. however#all of the character interactions (at least the ones where theyre helping each other) are Actually Pretty Well Done. this arc Does actually#help tim and dami reconcile a bit. dick finally steps into the shoes left for him. jason shows that -while off his fucking rocker'his goal#of hasnt changed- DESPITE the fact that hes an entire and highky influencial crime lord!#that emotional journey from to#it just has the potential to be so fucking GOOD and theres nothing wrong with seeing this possibility and runnjng with the ship you think#would come out kf that kinda arc. i mean. hell its Gorgeous.#then meanwhile youve got yja meg brain-nonconning connor while evryone excuses it and antis bend over BACKWARDS to defend it.
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#z rants#NOT MAD ANYMORE ITS JSUT FUNNY TO ME NOW#okay i eed to actually ramble about this cuz i ended up laughing reading shit on twt about how what he said was a mistranslation#ill be censoring his name cuz i dont aant it leak into the tag and i dont want yall pieces of shit to argue with me#a fat person who can comprehend what he said and how it cpuld come across despite it not being his intention 👍#also cuz as a fan for 5 years who love these guys a lot but still see them as human who can very much do wrong and judge them for that#yall bow to these bitches a little too much like they arent grown ass men who are being idolized by many its so crazy#first of all. an apology is so easy idk why u think he csnt comprehend what he said or refuse to answer but sure#lets get into it#amother thing is yall must be some pretentious little cunts telling people to apologizs to hao instead#i do want cunts who were bodyshaming him in recent news to do that whatever but. people who r rightfully mad?#they have the rights to be idc what wrong translation when u read at the sentence throughly it stil came off....weird#lets not make this into a personal issue thing we all know the industry is filled with fatphobic cunts whos awaiting the moment to say sum#so what he said is apparently * they need to stop esting but i cannot say it thoughtlessly. because whatever your body type is-#you just need to love yourself* which is understandable mind u. id say this is an okay answer#but i do think the way he just word this shit is so bad like u didnt nedd to add the first part my god 😭😭😭 sir 😭😭#he meant well mind u i do think he does but its just craazyyyy#* they need to stop eatinf but i csnt say it thoughtlessly* just dont say it then bro 😭 not that hard#do u not see the undertone of that? EVEN IF that wasnt hsi intention#thats another one of fatphobia undertone babey! csnt say it thoughtlessly. god thats so good man#so if u were to say it thoughtfully what would it be then? they ened to eat healthier?#let me repeat this. no matter which is his intention. he should still be educated about this more#especiallh coming from a person like him with skinny priviledge and in an industry so filled with hate for fat people#twt bitches r a bunch of bootlicking little bitches be serious for once yall r too dramatic idk laugh a little#*theyre attacking him! apologize!* we r asking a 25 yo man to be accountable for what he said as an idol with milliosn of fan#who all comprehend his answer differently and how that answer could mean when u think of fatphobia rhetoric 😁#twt carat dni yall cannot think st all its sk crazy that the first thing i saw was someone being so emotional about the whole issue#and how the people who r mad should rethink this snd spologize and r fake fans#must be so much to not use your brain at all like them#grown ass man accidentally says sth fatphobic and csnr even apologize a little bit when we all kmow its get swept under the rug anyways
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Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive
(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship.
My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written).
My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport.
Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.
However, its NOT abusive.
I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack.
Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:
(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)
"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"
(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)
I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to.
To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.
However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up.
Firstly, They are both bad people.
By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending".
My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers.
Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.
Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic.
Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else)
This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).
(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)
My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved
I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple:
He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place.
Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not.
And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be:
Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3)
Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.)
Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3)
Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.
I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it.
Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!!
I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind.
[Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada]
*Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would)
(So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)
#this might have gotten a little messy by the second half but i've spent so long on this the words have lost their meaning#could you believe this is my second draft#ill make a tldr...#dsaf#dayshift at freddy's#dave miller#jack kennedy#dayshift at freddy's 2#dsaf dave#dsaf dave miller#dsaf jack#old sport#dsaf old sport#dsaf william afton#dayshift at freddy's jack#dayshift at freddy's 3#dayshift at freddys
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Hey wanted to reiterate smth some ppl have already said. You dont have to understand why people like what they like. Its okay to be completely confused by another persons likes
Its not bad or inhuman to not be able to comprehend why.
I think where you weren’t getting the examples (also not bad btw) people were frustrated because they felt as if you were insulting their likes by not understanding them. alot of people say “that makes no sense” not in its literal meaning of “why i cant figure it out” but as “thats so disgusting/wrong i couldnt ever understand it!”
Tbc i dont think you remotely intending to do this and its not even really your fault they infered it like this.
I think some ppl started to feel as if their likes were odd or strange due to you not being able to understand them.
Unfortunately not many seemed to understand that you were feeling odd or strange for not getting it.
Because some people clearly misread you as shaming their likes, they felt as if you were doubling down on a joke in order to hurt their feelings. 
its hard when we cant relate to one another. But you werent trying to shame them. And they werent trying to isolate you.
I find it extremely easy to relate to people. And there are still times when i just. Cannot. Comprehend someones interests.
It doesnt make me bad. Or those people strange. Just means i cant get it. As long as i dont imply i cant understand because its gross, unnatural or strange then its all fine.
Again. Not cause you are alien , or vulcan. Or strange.
You can still be a compassionate, sympathetic, sensitive person without that kind of empathy.
I hope this wasnt condescending. My hearts pouring out for you because i can greatly relate to feeling so unhuman. But you are. Take care. 💛
Myea okay
It didn't even occur to me that people would take me not understanding as me disapproving somehow, I don't know why you'd connect those two.
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Bro the former gifted kid shit is so real 😭😭 like I’m literally a junior in college now and just realized that I have NO idea how to study. I just failed a test for the first time ever last week and had a meltdown and considered giving up on the rest of my degree 😩 like why did they let me think that it was always going to be easy??? bc now I actually have to study and try in school and I want the world to swallow me whole
Tbh what helped me might not help or give you support but yk what I told myself when I failed my first semester? That I wasn't special lol. Like I straight up told myself "You are not the first person to coast through public school without having to study only to bomb at college. And you're not gonna be the first person to bounce back and learn to study. You're not the only one who's had to do it, so you can find a way to work it out like all the other people before you"
It made the whole thing less daunting to me. Like if millions of ppl in my situation can figure it out, statistically I can too.
Granted we all learn in different ways, but my one universal piece of advice is to self-reflect A LOT. You can only learn how to study when you learn how you personally think and remember shit, and learn your strengths. Mine are writing, reading and comprehending texts, and breaking a language down to its essentials. Where I struggled was everything science and math related, especially biology and statistics. I learned that if something doesn't interest me, I don't learn it easily. So I made my classes interesting. I would think of questions I want to answer and learn to do using my class material, and study towards that goal.
Examples: I want to learn everything about mushrooms and cephalopods, because as a psych major I wanted to explore the idea of fungal "psychology" and octopus psychology. I want to know how they think. I also want to work with kids and I want to know how their brains form connections (because I love seeing the weird ass ways babies and children connect dots in their heads that adults don't.) But to get there, I have to learn about the basics: the human brain, the cellular structure of organisms, etc. I have to be able to interpret data and organize it and analyze it using stats software.
So by having that goal, I could use the curriculum as a stepping stone to get there. If I learn about the basic structure of cells, I can understand how mushrooms communicate with each other using their mycelium network. I can understand how octopuses change color so quickly and effectively. I can understand what a study's saying by looking at its numbers and know WHICH numbers to look for.
So for whatever you're studying, try to think Big Picture. Why are you at college and why are you studying shit for your major? If it's just to get a degree then you're gonna struggle with motivation to get through those hard classes, so try to find an intrinsic motivation. There is ALWAYS something fascinating about your field that you don't know yet, even something like nursing or business. Personally if I were to do it all over and major in business, I'd do it because I'm staunchly against corporate monopolies and the corrupting hold US banks and companies have on the federal government. I would study business and Poli sci to learn about that relationship and how to fight it and chip away at that corruption (before inevitably dying from a Clinton Suicide--thats when you end your own life with two gunshots to the back of the head).
In every field, there's something you can learn and something you probably want to learn but don't realize it yet. Find it and use that as your motivation to get through the classes you struggle in, and it's much harder for you to give up.
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how to explain to people that that post about spotify wrapped and hgtv open concept homes was about everythings slow descent into sanitized minimalism all run by giant monopolies putting wiretaps into homes so they can sell more products all under the guise of convenience. how its about putting every bit of yourself out there so you can be marketed to easier. how its impossible to avoid being pressured by people around you to engage in becoming marketable. sure its easy to say "opt out of it all" but its how our entire society operates and you are going to be affected by it one way or another. your voice is going to be picked up by your grandmother's echo. youre going to get a friend asking you to make a spotify blend. and there are negative consequences for not having apps that track you or monitor your or sell your data. it is genuinely harder to make friends when youre not hooked up into the system. i dont know why thats so hard to comprehend. you cant just say no to it when its all around you all the time constantly. i need to become a monk.
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What Each G3 Pony Thinks of Scarecrow
Scootaloo: HES THE BEST!! He’s super scary, super smart, super cool and just SUPER EVERYTHING! I was the only pony out of my friends who liked scary stuff so I’m so psyched to have a friend I have something in common with! And to think this all started from me making a wish for a live scarecrow. We both try to scare people on the street which is really easy for me cos for some reason, I scare everyone in Gotham. Mr Crane says it’s because they can’t comprehend talking ponies. Weird. Anyway, Mr Crane may be a grump, but I bet having seven ponies to look after must be pretty hard. He always makes time for me though! He says I’m his no 1 henchpony and calls me Ragnarök! Which means natural disasters or something. Either way it’s cool! He’s the best boss ever and I hope he likes this new butterfly bomb I came up with!
Cheerilee: I thought he was a stinky old man at first, but we’ve got a lot more in common than I thought! For a scarecrow, he’s actually very smart! Which is strange, cos I thought scarecrows have no brains. Well, that shows what I know! Mr Crane has taught me loads of subjects like psychology, complex math and biology. Ponyville’s library doesn’t have any knowledge like this. It is a little hard to wrap my head around at times but it is worth it to rub it in Scoot’s face hehe. Mr Crane would make a very good teacher, if he didn’t look like a stitched up skeleton
Rainbow Dash: I know he doesn’t get my love of fashion and that’s totes understandable. He’s old. I mean have you SEEN that cloak?! Major frump alert! And pee-uw! does his breath stink! But he’s cool, as long as you don’t put him in a bad mood. But that won’t stop me from putting him in a dress! He is long overdue for a makeover!
Pinkie Pie: I don’t know if he’s our boss or our dad but either way, it’s nice to have someone to look up to. I may be the leader of my friends, but Im still a pony. So I can always rely on Mr Crane for advice. But he has a very weird sense of what’s right and wrong and I’m gonna criticise the heck out of that! I’ve never seen Mr Crane laugh, but when he does, it’s nice to see! But he’s never happy regularly when he’s around us. Sometimes I don’t know if he likes us very much… I try to cheer him up with a surprise party, but Mr Crane doesn’t like parties. Says they’re too loud. Doesn’t like the colour pink either. He does save us from Riddler’s bullying and protects us from people in Gotham throwing stuff at us, he’s very polite and says he “likes” us. So thats good!
Sweetie Belle: He can be a bit mean and grumpy but I think he’s very nice deep down. After all, he gives us toys, trips to the funfair and ice cream if we’re good! He also gave us such funny nicknames! I’m Pesticide! It’s also funny how he struggles to say our normal names without making a grumpy face! Haha Mr Crane is the funniest boss ever! Although I don’t get his whole scaring people thing with fear. I’m pretty sure he can scare people with how he looks already
Toola Roola: Its amazing how a scarecrow can be both magic and be really smart! He looks very scary but I guess that’s his job, isn’t it? And it kinda makes sense where he comes from. Gotham is a very gloomy place. Aw, I bet he misses it a little after being in Ponyville for so long. Maybe I’ll paint him a nice graveyard with lots of crows on it. That’ll cheer him up!
Starsong: You can tell he’s an old man cos he doesn’t know what TikTok is. Although it is so worth it cos his dancing is so silly, heehee! Good thing our babysitter whenever we visit Gotham, Barbara Gordon, knows all about TikTok and loves our dances! She has a beautiful singing voice! Oh yeah, we were talking about Mr Crane. Well, the only dancing he likes is the St Vitus’ dance. Why would a dance be named after a saint? That doesn’t sound very groovy…Mr Crane’s really weird.
Here is part 1.
#batman#crossover#g3 mlp#mlp g3.5#starsong#g3 rainbow dash#g3 scootaloo#g3 pinkie pie#toola roola#g3 cheerilee#cheerilee#g3 sweetie belle#sweetie belle#arkham scarecrow#arkham knight#niche crossover#midnight ramblings#stuff I literally just wrote now and I’m tired#jonathan crane#the scarecrow
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What do you think about Hijacked Peeta storyline in Mockingjay?
Is it narrative-ly satisfied for Peeta's arc?
Thank you,
@curiouspeetamellark
I think it was a big narrative risk that Collins took with his storyline. In many ways it is extremely relevant for his character growth, for the surrounding characters, (especially but certainly not limited to, Katniss) and for the deeper themes present in the novel itself. One of my favorite things Collins consistently does is bring polarizing issues of war, and it's affects, to the forefront of the reader's mind to shed light on issues like treatment of POWs.
Peeta in particular, goes through a kind of bizarre crucifixion parallel when he is captured by Snow and the Capitol. Complete with a betrayl (Haymitch and the rebellion not only leaving him behind but also leaving him out of the escape plans) being publicly humiliated and tortured (Propos with Ceasar, which bear a strange resemblance to Jesus's trial with Pilot) and a period of time spent in hell/purgatory after he refuses to deny/succumb to the will of his captors (Peeta's last coherent act before the hijacking completely took over was to warn District13 of the bombing raid). Instead of emerging from hell (capture) victorious and vindicated (like traditional Christ and biblical canons) Peeta instead emerges from his ordeal broken and having lost faith in his purifying and sacred purpose, to save Katniss and love her no matter the cost to himself.
Peeta becomes, as Johanna aptly puts it, the capitol mutt version of himself. Where all the normal aspects of his personality (kindess, selflessness, and peace making) become inverted. He becomes cruel, callous, and volatile, seeking to cause discomfort and division among his friends and allies. This causes many people around him to fear and distrust him, including Katniss herself, and it is a form of death Peeta undergoes, and stays trapped in for quite sometime. His old self essentially is considered dead, killed by Snow and his minions, and all thats left is a broken shell of the brave and noble man many admires. Peetas resurrection is a slow and gradual one, and is is not miraculous or even complete. The last chapter of Mockinjay makes it clear that the scars of the hijacking and the PTSD enduced from the summation of all his terrible experiences is something Peeta has to live with everyday.
In a way, I kind if hate that Collins took that direction with his character. It seems like the worst kind of thing someone could do to a person like Peeta Mellark, who valued his morality and his autonomy and always maintained an unwavering surety of self that most people couldn't even comprehend when faced with the life altering and soul shattering experiences he lived through. Child abuse, two Hunger Games, and a rejection from the girl he loved didn't destroy his inner kindness and strength, but trackerjacker vemon and brutal torture did.
I still don't entirely forgive Collins for doing it, but I understand why she did it. To highlight the internal costs of war and violence on the human phsyce, and the collateral damage done to the most innocent and blameless. She's brilliant because she makes you feel it when the darkness and hatred of the human heart goes a step too far. The consequences of war hit you as close to home as possible, because after all, she spends three novels getting the reader to fall in love with Peeta for so many unconventional reasons and then she rips him, and any easy, clear cut happy ending he may have had away.
For that reason I find it hard to call Peeta's hijacking and subsequent character arc narratively satisfying. But I don't think his arc was supposed to be completely satisfying. I think it was supposed to feel slightly unfulfilled because the damage can be overcome but not undone. Peeta survived but like all the other characters the war took its toll and nothing was ever the same. Life moved on and happiness was found again but the nightmares remained. I do applaud Collins for is writing his character's conclusion realistically. That she did not gloss over the trauma and the after effects helps the story maintain its integrity. And it forces readers to acknowledge that while war may be justified it is never without its costs.
That ending theme, more than anything helps to bring closure and gravity to Peeta's character development. His ending, although not as bright or as unblemished as I would have hoped for, is still valid and well earned.
Sorry about the long nature of the reply. I hope this answers your question 🙂
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I didnt want to add this addition to my reblog just before this for obvious reasons. But now its still in english so thats stupid of me. I felt like i needed to articulate this though, and im too lazy to translate it i guess, or maybe it just feels unnessecarily petty to do so. Anyways.
Its obvious to me that they would be happy for the technological advancements, but be so envious that they fucking hate me regardless. This fortunately does not apply to the earliest homo sapiens. But leaves litterally everyone else. But considering this is a thought experiment, it litterally does not matter. Unless the point was to be grateful for modern luxuries. Which is a derailing from the thought that so many people have: that "im being lazy and unproductive and i am incompetent". Which are feelings, and are therefore true by definition/default. You cant deny a feeling exists. But they are often facts too. There is no need to feel bad about having it easy, but its harder to deny that being incompentent is bad. This turned into a vent post somehow by saying this but anyways: the early 1900:s person in my head cant comprehend why im stuck with either this glowing rectangle or staring at a wall, when i could draw, clean my room, play an instrument, a video game, organise my things, read a book, going outside, etc. But yeah, the caveman is like yay warm and dry area and "bread"
But i cant run. So yes, all my ancestors would think im weak and soft.
I should not be hating on positivity. but i fucking hate when people go try so hard to deny bad things that they do the mental gymnastics spine injury.
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Writing Initiative #5 & #6(week 8 & 10)
week 8
This week I didnt present anything to class… and that is because I was in the planning and prepping process for my 4d *week 8*
NOW ONTO WEEK 9 & 10!
At the start of week 9, I knew that I wanted to do something that was a cross between my 2d and 3d, but I still wasn’t exactly sure about what to do. Going back to the drawing board and brainstorming a little more, I subsequently decided that I wanted to take the fashion photography element and ethos from my 2d, and the chronosynchronicity of emotions from my 3d. I decided to make a fashion campaign style video.
Upon having this epiphany. I still felt that something was still missing. A huge element to tie it all together and make it really have that ‘chronosynchronicity’ feel. I mean, songs and videos have beginnings middles and endings, and that could technically be what I could do, but it just didn’t feel intentional… THEN IT HIT ME.
I brainstormed, spoke with Paul, and consulted my other course mates and then BOOM. It literally came to me in a dream (not really, it was more like getting hit by a truck hahahah). I was gonna make a few outfits per the feelings that are in chronosynchronicity and make one of those polly pocket style dress-up flip-books with a supplementary fashion video .
EUREKA!… or so I thought…
It was a good idea either ways, so I started execution. I booked the photography studio and rented two cameras and lighting for week 10, and I started preparing even more.
I made an ISO (in search of) post on my instagram looking for a model, or someone that would be happy to step in as my muse (I could have done this all by myself but there really and truly is strength in numbers). Thats when Jaden, a friend that I acquainted with in my childhood reached out to me, and we hopped on a FaceTime call. He was in bed with his partner (who is actually one of my best friends haha) when we spoke on the phone (im saying this is for contextual reasons that will make sense!). I told him to make outfits based on the emotions Joy, Lust, Confusion, Sadness, and fear because I felt called to narrow the emotions from my 2d down to those 5 emotions. From making those fits, which required 1 top, 1 bottom, 1 pair of shoes and possibly a piece of outerwear per outfit, I also decided that on shoot day, I would make us make every possible combination in outfit with the pieces available. Bare in mind… I was extremely burnt out this entire process, but I kept on pushing and I’m so glad I did!, so here are my findings from the interview( I transcribed it in a very abstract way and kept on asking “why” till the answer was so abstract from the question that it didn’t make sense):
So...
joy
to Jaden
Green tracksuit
White shirt
Green bapestas
Green is his favourite colour
Green reminds his grandmas garden
Raised and spent free time there
He’d chill there because “she’s old”
There wasn’t much to do…
Because she’s “old”
Why was she old…
*laughs*
Lust
Black mickey tee
Black short shorts/black sweats
Jordan 4 Black cats
“Yasmin” picked it out
*passes phone to Yasmin*
When she thinks of lust, she thinks PRIMAL attraction. Desire driven
Showing off assets with short shorts and muscly top.
With attraction to lust: she’s attracted to people built well/ seem strong.
DNA. Likes the feeling of feeling safe.
Life is scary as a woman.
Gender roles.
Protector = man = infiltrator
Duality.
Confusion
Oversized 4ye hoodie cream
Bimsee pants
Travis Scott silver forces
A lot is going on. People get confused when there is “too much going on”
People like “straight forwardness”
Not as cohesive
Silhouette isn’t too much going on
“Too much going on” = the elements that make the whole. Not the whole itself.
Journey/ destination?
Destination
Journey is straightforward.
Tedious with journey, same with fashion.
Tedious = confusion ?
No
Tedious = harder to comprehend
Trying too hard to compute makes it easy to miss the point.
Get to the point.
Sadness
Elmo hoodie black
Black jeans
Cream shoes
Reminds me of a Paramore song—— any song on the after laughter album
Why the juxtaposition
People trying to mask the fact that they’re sad (Hide your face w hoodie)
Upbringing that made him think this way.
People have “had it much worse than you do”
Parents do it to not be an inconvenience to them.
My parents grieve
They can’t grieve because of “kids”
Grief of youth
Makes backhanded comments to said “kids”
No resentment
Comes up with new goals
With sadness comes birth
Tower moment. Rebuilding.
I just learnt that his mum can fly a plane.
Fear
Black trench
Dickies shirt grey
Tie with hearts
New balances/ pandas
Dark colours are what people associate with fear. “With fear come gloom”
Link to lust and fear?
Uncertainty. Curiousity
Attracted only on a physical level (lust) don’t want them to see them more on a physical Lebel (fear)
I chose to make Andrew pick his own outfits because I wanted to showcase his own chronosynchronicity.
After the interview was over, I felt even closer to Yasmin and felt a closeness with Jaden (which would come in handy on shoot day as I prefer my models to feel comfortable). In the end, everything came to me in an epiphany:
Lust and fear and intertwined… which technically is link to confusion (which is linked to fear)… joy is the only juxtaposing thing in spite of the fact that they are all separate emotions. Without all these things there can’t be any joy. All these feelings and emotions make chronosynchonicity
We ended up shooting a few days after in the studio and it was very fun!
With editing, I was so excited to do that as I have previous knowledge from a YouTube channel I used to run when I was younger! I was so excited editing that it literally put me in flow state and CURED my burnout???? It really did and I felt a deep sense of purpose here!
And in the end, the video came out so well! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWWs0GK5csI (Video will be posted in subsequent post)
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i have perfect grades. that is IT. there is no other way im just perfectly graded with the highest grades possible why? because i just manifested it so easily. when my parents talk to me they talk about how high my grades are. time doesnt mean anything intrusive thoughts doesn't exist. only my god state exists and its my default state i am truly the god's favourite because my results always came in fast and quick i can barely comprehend it. like seriously who can manifest perfect 90+ grades under 3 seconds? ME that me thats how powerful i am i manifested all perfect 90+ grades im the highest in my class logic doesn't amount to anything lol i choose what happens i control logic you know what? its perfectly logical for me to have perfect 90+ grades right now considering how hard working and persistent i am, i feel so confident and natural that i am graduating as one of the top students in my school. i never even worked for this achievement but i am receiving it just because i manifest so easily. my reality is so positively generous. it gives me what i want immediately like a very good pet- i am amazed and admired by the people around me because of my academic excellence. "its true that you're graduating as topnotchers this year?" "you are so great for getting the highest grades" "im so jealous of your high grades" "ang taas lagi ng grades mo" and much more compliments is what i hear everyday in different variations they all say how amazing my academic excellence is just like how i want it! old story? she never existed! my thoughts and imaginations are so full of excitement and happiness knowing I AM graduating with perfect highest grades. there is no doubt in my heart and mind that it is what i am now. im excited and confident in going to school knowing I'll slay it perfectly. i could go on and on and on about how high my grades are because its true its here right now in my reality. i am the god. i am the void. thats why i manifest instantly.
i focus ONLY on my desired outcome. all my thoughts and imaginations replay the scene where i am praised and admired by my perfect grades i even passed on one og the high university on my country thats how effortless i do manifesting seriously manifesting is so ridiculously easy for me its like im an extreme prodigy at this lol i just instinctively know the right answer to any question, thats perfectly natural though knowing im very intelligent without any flaws. my knowledge is literally so vast im amaze people every single time. i am perfect as always. i always look forward in going to school knowing im going to slay it perfectly with my perfect high grades!
i already have perfect grades so there is nothing to worry about my friends were sooo right when they said im graduating with perfect highest 90+ grades.
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Newsflash: Dazai cares for Chuuya
Before reading any further, I will be talking about stormbringer, so spoilers ahead!! Translation credits go out to: @popopretty on tumblr, make sure to give this kind human some love and appreciation<3
Also if you want to read the first few chapters of stormbringer: @buraihatranslations is currently translating it, give them much love and appreciation as well, they deserve it!!
Honestly, I have been so obsessed with Soukoku lately and I think the reason behind this is because when it comes to Soukoku, their feelings for each other are not as easy to grasp as love or hate, it is much more profound than that. There is care, hurt, trust, resentment, companionship, bitterness, and consideration...And ironically enough, thats just the tip of the iceberg.
If we break down their individual feelings towards each other, it will be easier to understand their bond.
On Chuuya's end, his feelings are much more clear due to his expressive personality. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, he can try and hide what he feels towards Dazai but his true feelings tend to unravel easily.
He sometimes tries to mask his feelings towards Dazai by throwing insults, but his facial expressions are enough to contradict what he is saying.
Chuuya's feelings towards Dazai can be easier to comprehend. He obviously feels this certain betrayal due to the fact Dazai left the Port Mafia. Not to mention, he and Dazai have always had a rivalry relationship.
In the Soukoku wiki page, it is stated that Chuuya is aware of Dazai not experiencing a proper childhood, therefore allows him to act as childish as he can and lets him tease him relentlessly. I don't know how reliable this source is, but either way I think its worthy enough to add.
In the Dragon head conflict when Dazai was out of sight, Chuuya told Mori to forget about Dazai. That was until Hirotsu mentioned a microscope, Chuuya quickly realizes it was code language because he remembered a previous conversation where Dazai says he needs a microscope to be able to see Chuuya properly.
The moment he figured out it was a tracker, Chuuya did not hesitate to jump in and rescue Dazai. But here is the catch: No one but Chuuya knew about the microscope, if Chuuya really didn't care for Dazai he wouldn't have mentioned the microscope and kept all this under wraps, leaving Dazai in a mess.
Chuuya trusts Dazai with his life. He never hesitates to leave his life on Dazai's hands when it has to come to it. Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for years, for Chuuya to be able to trust Dazai that much is because Dazai also cares for him too, right?
The answer here is yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya. In a superficial level, it doesn't seem like Dazai truly cares, but I can assure you that he does care for him. Weather you like to think of his care in a platonic or romantic manner, the care Dazai has for Chuuya is undeniable and extremely significant for Dazai's character.
I think that stormbringer establishes this idea even further. There is one specific moment in this light novel that shows his genuine concern towards Chuuya's well being:
"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."
"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."
"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."
"What?"
"I told you before right, the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."
The time had stopped.
Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.
"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."
Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.
Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.
Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.
This section in stormbringer is personally one of my favorites, this is a very rare moment between both of them, but especially for Dazai. Like I stated earlier Chuuya wears his emotions on his sleeves, therefore even if he tries to mask his care with insults, its still painfully noticable that he genuienly looks after Dazai. Chuuya also sometimes show a vulnerable side of himself to Dazai, especially after using corruption.
Dazai on the other hand is extremely unreadable. Its hard to understand his true intentions and if he really cares for people or only sees them as a pawn. In this moment though, Dazai was being painfully genuine. Dazai literally prioritized Chuuya over the mission. He was already thinking of coming up with an alternative plan just in case Chuuya refused, obviously the sucess rate of the alternative plan would be lesser than the actual plan Dazai had in mind, he choose Chuuya's wellbeing over a mission.
In this section, Dazai wasn't throwing jokes or witty remarks, he was being serious. Because Dazai knows how desperately Chuuya wants to be human. He knows how important being human is to Chuuya.
Dazai wasn't manipulating Chuuya by giving him the chance to decide, we can see that Dazai was literally showing a lot of hesitation when mentioning this to him, we also get to see what Dazai was thinking, and we can tell he wasn't thinking about manipulative his movements in any way. All of this wasn't coming out of manipulation, it was coming out of pure care.
After six steps, Dazai reached the stair. He stepped on the stair and started walking down. Three steps down the stair, he heard a *clang*, a cool sound of metal echoing behind him. It sounded like the metal was kicked by the sole of someones shoes. The moment Dazai realized what the sound was, Dazai turned around in surprise.
There was already no one at the top.
Dazai was dazed for a moment, then he loosened his lips and laughed.
"Trying to act cool, huh?" Dazai smiled, both annoyed and relieved. Then he turned on his radio and sent out his order. "Chuuya has sallied, everyone get ready for battle."
I personally love this part so much, relief washed over Dazai the moment he noticed that Chuuya was going to go through with the first plan, which proves my point that he wasn't manipulating him and how Dazai was under a lot of stress because he wasn't sure if the alternative plan would be as effective as his original one.
Yet he still was willing to go through the alternative plan if Chuuya refused, because Dazai values him and regards his wellbeing.
Dazai was being surprisingly gentle in this section, he was being honest. There was no ulterior motive behind his actions here, just a boy looking after his partner.
"So i'm going to send an order to my men to prepare for action... Is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay." Chuuya turned to Dazai. "Why are you asking me such a thing?"
Dazai didn't answer right away.
That was an unusual expression. It's like he was trying to say something, but he had to arrange the words in his head to decide where he should start. An expression he rarely shows.
This was right before Dazai drops the bomb to Chuuya about the memory erasure command. He was even asking for Chuuya's opinion on sending his men to get ready, this was the first time Dazai ever showed actual concern without masking it with witty remarks. You can tell that Chuuya isn't used to this.
And when you think about it, when Dazai and Chuuya have missions together, Dazai always uses corruption as a last resort and he always allows Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not.
I personally belive that the main reason Chuuya trusts Dazai with using corruption is because The Sheep used to exploit his powers too much, but Dazai leaves the decision to use corruption up to Chuuya. Dazai understands the physical and mental toll corruption takes on Chuuya and therefore leaves the choice up to him.
Theres another section in stormbringer that I really enjoy, it doesn't necessairly show solicitude but I still think this should still be taken into consideration:
"You seem pretty confident that Chuuya is human, don't you?"
"I am," Dazai laughed with a sigh. "There is no way a man-made code could create such a personality that I detest so much."
Throughout the whole story, Dazai is more than determined that Chuuya is human. The main reason Dazai finds Chuuya so intresting is because of how frighteningly human Chuuya can be, because of the fact that he always wears his emotions on his sleeves, something Dazai rarely does himself. Thats personally a nice sentiment from Dazai's end, even when Chuuya struggles completely when it comes to believing in his own humanity, Dazai still can't help but see him as a human being.
Also I am aware that Dazai literally said he detests Chuuya here but he also sighed and laughed while stating this, showing us that he isn't being serious about hating him.
And its not only in stormbringer were he shows his concern towards Chuuya. In fact, in this following manga pannel Dazai is telling Chuuya that if he is willing to listen him, he will stage his own escape so that Chuuya doesn't get punnished.
Honestly, if Dazai didn't care enough for Chuuya, he wouldn't have mentioned this to him. Chuuya didn't care enough to realize that he literally unwillingly freed Dazai which would get the pm mad at him, so the fact that Dazai is literally helping him out is no doubt out of care for him. If Dazai didn't have any regard for Chuuya he would've not staged his escape or mentioned anything to Chuuya, eventually incriminating him.
There are many misconceptions when it comes to Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya, people think that he doesn't care for him due to the fact that he left the Port Mafia, leaving Chuuya behind. But heres the thing: Dazai's intentions had nothing to do with Chuuya. He left the organization for his own good, he left it to fullfill Oda's wish.
"If Dazai cared for Chuuya then why didn't he take Chuuya with him?" the reason is simple, he knows how much the PM means to Chuuya. In stormbringer it is shown that Chuuya feels as if his humanity is attached to the people he is loyal to, in this case its the port mafia. Verlaine wanted to get rid of the pm because he believed that the pm is what kept Chuuya's humanity, eventually making Chuuya believe that he is only human if he stays loyal to the pm. Dazai knows this. Thats exactly why he didn't take Chuuya with him or even explains to Chuuya why he left, he knows it would be selfish to basically rip Chuuya's sense of humanity apart.
I have a feeling that if Dazai told Chuuya about the real reason he left the Port Mafia, Chuuya will not only feel conflicted about being in the pm, but he would also have an inner conflict with himself as a human.
People also think Dazai may not really care for him because of the fact that after the fight against Lovecraft he actualy deserted him, maybe that part was truly just supposed to be seen as simple humor, but either way I want to talk about it. Chuuya's only request to Dazai was to take him back to base safe, so why did Dazai leave Chuuya behind?
I mean he has carried Chuuya back to saftey before with no problem, for example in stormbringer when Chuuya uses corruption for the first time Dazai carries him back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so that he could say goodbye to his passing friends.
The reson behind this is because Mori needs to know that unlike Dazai, Chuuya is absolutely loyal to him. Leaving Chuuya the way he did will make Mori believe that these two really are at each others throats and that Dazai is insignificant to Chuuya. Making it seem that for Chuuya, the mafia comes first before anything else.
Therefore Dazai established Chuuya's saftey within the mafia since not only does Mori want these two to be hostile with each other, he doesn't want Chuuya to eventually turn against him if he truly found out more about Dazai's true reason of departure. Then again, this isn't canon but it is a logical assumption.
Not to mention that although Dazai did leave him behind, he folded Chuuya's coat and hat before taking his leave. There is also an an extra chapter where Ozaki Kouyou was talking with Chuuya but when he left he forgot his coat, which made Kouyou came across the coat; where she noticed a badge sewed inside saying "Name: Hatrack", she smiled fondly thinking to herself that some things just never change, in this case, Dazai and Chuuya's bond.
Dazai literally took his time to sew this into his coat just to tease him, it was a simple gesture but it shows us how their dynamic will never change. No matter what these two go through, they will always share a bond that consists on teasing, trust and underlying care.
All of this actually makes that theory of Dazai planting a bomb under Chuuya's car for the sole reason that the PM doesn't find Chuuya as an acomplice who aided Dazai on his escape much more feasable.
For Dazai to just plant a bomb under Chuuya's car with no motive makes no sense because if Dazai's true intentions were to simply mess with Chuuya, he would've most likely made it clear at that time. Dazai always has an underlying motive behind his actions, and in this case it is very likely that he did that for Chuuya's sake.
Don't get me wrong, I am aware that the bomb incident could've just been a comedic moment and I shouldn't look too much into it, but there is still a posibility, right?
These two hold so much trust and care for one another, yet they also hold a lot of bitterness and resentment. In the end the good aspects of their dynamic outweighs the bad.
Either you see these two in a platonic or romantic way, you can't tell me that their bond isn't significant.
Thank you so much for reading!! I wanted to talk about this for a while because I feel like people misinterpret Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya a lot so I hope this clears up things a bit<3
#Bsd#bsd analysis#Bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#Dazai#Chuuya nakahara#Nakahara Chuuya#Chuuya#Double black#Stormbringer bsd#Stormbringer spoilers#Soukoku#Chuuya and dazai#Dazai and chuuya#Chuuya x dazai#Dazai x Chuuya#Soukoku analysis#Bsd manga#ozaki kouyou#Skk#Bsd soukoku
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Can I have a mooncake with lemon for Childe, a cheating one please.. (My dumbass found out how you suppose to request sorry about the other one)
It's all good darling, the system can get a bit confusing but thank you for your request. I hope this will help feed you angst addiction. I put MC instead of Y/N cause it's just easier and I need to remind you that you're the main character
I do apologize as this is poorly written, I've never wrotten something like this.
Warnings: Cheating, death, and childe being an ass
So maybe I'm a bad guy
Childe x Male Reader
Days had gone by since Childe had spent anytime with his boyfriend. MC was aware that childe was a Harbinger and wouldn't always have time to spend with him, but it has been over a month and nothing has been heard.
MC would wait days in their shared house from him to come hom but it was always nothing. MC had prepared for the worse and assumed childe was dead, but he could never be too sure. That was when he decided to go to Liyue.
Childe always told his boyfriend lots of information about the Fatui, more than MC needed to know. If anyone were to find out about how much MC knows, he would be killed with no hesitation.
The trip to Liyue was long, I mean going from Shneznyia to Liyue is a decently long distance. Nonetheless MC made it there, Liyue was beautiful and a lot warmer then Shneznyia.
Before looking for Childe he decided to walk around Liyue and enjoy everything around. All the beautiful stalls and amazing food was a sight. Liyue was hands down the most incredible place he had ever seen.
After a long day of looking around the sun began to set, so MC had to find some place to stay. After a bit of searching he found a small Inn that only a few people were staying in.
He got situated into your room and enjoyed the veiw. This was outside Liyue harbor so being able to look down and the beautiful ocean as the sunset was amazing. Liyue was all he had hoped for and more. Tomorrow he would go looking for Childe, but for now he was going to enjoy his rest after a long day of nothing but beauty.
It felt like as soon as MC had fallen asleep, he jad woken up. Today the search begins, Luyue harbor isn't as big as many people think so getting around is pretty easy.
Hours had past and he had given up, he knew you had worked hard and was going to treat himself to a meal at wanmins restaurant. As he turned the corner to the small place he saw a familiar ginger ordering something. Though next to the ginger was someone, someone MC had never seen before.
MC was never one to jump to conclusions so it was either just a friend or a co-worker. He made his way twords his boyfriend, though as he got closer he could hear words being said as the strange person stoody up. The person was saying their goodbyes but was calling Childe by petnames. Specifically they said "Thank you for the food babe, I'll see you later tonight" and left walking past MC.
MC stood frozen in place as they tried to comprehend what they had just heard. Childe, their boyfriend who they had grown to love so much, was cheating on him? That was never something MC had even considered Childe would do. He was a sweet guy who always worked hard. So why, why did he feel the need to cheat?
MC was lost in space but snapped out of it as they saw Childe stand up and begin to turn around into MCs direction. As Childes eyes locked with the others he was also frozen. This relationship that he had kept a secret was finally out in the open so there was no use hiding it.
Words and quiet arguments were exchanged. There was no point in yelling, MC had already seen the outcome of this. Childe was going to leave him, that was it. It seemed like Childe felt nothing while talking to his ex. He didn't feel bad and acted like it wasnt such a big deal. Thats how MC new that they never truly loved eachother.
MC got on a boat the next day to get back to Shneznyia. Childe had bought him the ticket back as a finally goodbye. He had moved on, but made it clear of that in the most shitty was possible. Only a few tears were shed for the shitty ginger when MC got home.
Why would he waste his time and tears on someone who never even loved him. Sleepless nights were how the breakup started. Though they didn't last long because life will have it's down but the only way to go when you've hit rock bottom, is up.
Months and years flew by aand MC had fianlly moced on from the piece of shit he called his boyfriend. His life was getting better, but downs always find their way back to you.
MC had known too much information about the Fatui. People were sent out to kill him, to assassinate him. Childe was one of them, it of course didn't take long for him to gind MC. He had taken the shared house so Childe new exactly where to look.
MC was stabbed in his sleep by none other than Childe. This was the destiny MC had been given. Being brutally skaughter in his dream land by the man who ruined him.
What a beautiful way to end his fucking story.
A/N// You can see how rushed this is can't you? I'm so sorry this took so long and that it's kinda shitty. I really had no inspiration I'm so sorry!
#childe x reader#childe x male reader#childe#genshin x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin angst?#angst?#sad excuse of angst#Childe x Male!Reader#Male reader#Male MC#male mc#genshin x male reader#Cheating#Tw: Cheating#Tw: Death#Death
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I was looking at my “small little coping with DID tip” I just posted, but the other thing about people being upset that you are having fun with A SeRiOUs tRAuMa dISoRdEr is that it really sets out this message / mindset that you OWE it to people to be fucked up, to be miserable, and to suffer because you went through SeRiOUs tRAuMa
Because here’s the thing, you DON’T have to constantly be acting traumatized to be a valid survivor.
You DON’T have to show people how much you hurt and are bothered by it on a daily to be a valid survivor.
Being OKAY and having FUN does not invalidate the pain that you went through and what you had to do to survive.
You don’t owe it to ANYONE to act ANYWAY because of the shit you went through when you were younger and the disorders that you developed as the result of it because you already paid your due that you shouldn’t have even had in the first place.
I know its hard to hear and to comprehend sometimes as someone with C-PTSD (it is even hard for me to say it and comprehend it in words right now), but you aren’t in the same situation, same place, and same time of where your trauma happened. You do not have to constantly live bound by what had happened to you in the past because you are factually not there anymore. Some people might still be in very difficult trauma-environments, and I really understand that and doing this is hard and honest to god, don’t stress about it because I’m not telling you to agree with me or understand what I am saying here.
The point of that paragraph is to say there is nothing that anyone says and does that justifies why you have to “act like someone who has SeRiOUs tRAuMa” and live as though you can’t escape it because the whole thing about PTSD / C-PTSD is the perceived feeling that you are chronically stuck in trauma, even when you aren’t. It is honestly partially why those lines really can get to people, because its very easy to jump back into the distorted loop that you are still back there or that you should still be there because “that is how trauma works.”
And yeah, that is how trauma “works”, but it really really really is only the first part of the instruction manual and the story. It’s OK to live a normal life. Its OK to have fun in life. It’s OK to not constantly post about how miserable you are. It’s OK to enjoy the simple things in life and to celebrate that you are not in the same place you used to be.
A lot of the time that line comes from other trauma survivors, so I understand it and that it tends to come from a place of “I’m struggling this hard and someone who has the same diagnosis / disorder as me is making it look silly / fun / not that bad” and I understand that. I won’t act like sometimes I don’t feel that way because I honestly do - a lot actually - but I decide thats for me to feel and think and not really my business to judge how they cope with their shit. If it bothers me, I’ll just remove it from my feed / daily routine because the thing is - just because I’m suffering and struggling with my disorder, doesn’t mean its right for me to get mad at others for coping with it or even recovering better.
It’s honestly a bit of enmeshment and some level of trauma bonding that creates a kind of toxic “lets stay rooted in the past / our trauma” mentality because the idea of growing past / beyond your trauma tends to start coming off as a bit... almost taboo? I dunno, it is just some thoughts I had on the matter that I wanted to follow up on.
-Riku (Host)
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@lonelyeyesweek
Day 1 - First Meeting
Peter was very reluctant to go to the Magnus institute funding party; uncle Nathaniel informed him that one of his new duties would be to make business with James Wright and he really didn't want to do that. A beholder… What a nightmare.
I would've stayed at home
'Cause I was doin' better alone
Peter was very reluctant to go to the Magnus institute funding party; uncle Nathaniel informed him that one of his new duties would be to make business with James Wright and he really didn't want to do that. A beholder… What a nightmare.
The party was unfortunately the most informal way to meet the man, otherwise he would be forced to enter a small room with the watcher to make sure he didn't dry up his family money for an indefinite amount of time.
So he was really dreading the moment he would be meeting this man, Simon kept telling him that James was an old friend and that it would be fine, that he was actually funny beneath all the politeness, however he wasn't so sure about that.
Due to Simon’s and his uncle’s influence he has a very loose idea of some boring old man, a type of academic with a nondescript look that he will forget as soon as he leaves.
With any luck he would just make his acquaintance today and then he may go from the party, Peter preferred to be at home instead of dilly dallying with the masses. As much as he likes to observe people, he likes it better when it's on his own terms and when he is not forced to be part of an event.
So he goes with very little hope for the night, the only positive is that he may get some free food and some alcohol, albeit champagne will not do much for him.
The moment Simon sees him, he zeroes on him and stays nearby talking about his trips to Europe. He also tells him about a few sacrifices he made that actually seemed rather interesting. Still Peter preferred the ones he committed at the ocean, but he knew the man was always more partial to the sky so its not surprising they are all on that vein.
“What about you Captain? You have a few voyages under your belt now lad, how did those go? Were they to your liking?” And the answer to that is a bit complicated, Peter is still getting used to handling a ship, his crew hasn't been properly trained yet to keep themselves in check so he has to… ugh make a few rules.
The other problem is that most of his crew is formed of older, more experienced sailors. Peter is 26 and unfortunately has a rather… soft looking face, he has been trying to grow a beard to at least make himself look a bit more rugged or older looking, but that will take time and he just has a five o’clock shadow for now. It will take him months to have anything resembling what he wants. The graying hair does work a bit better, that he can count for at least.
He is considering hiring someone to relay his messages to, so that way he can stay away most of the time and he can practice his solitude in peace. He really would love to not be perceived until he looks like he wants.
“Its ok, I still need to figure out a few things to be honest, I would love it if the crew was a bit less…”
“Talkative?”
“Friendly” Simon nods at him and pats his shoulder before going back to another story of a trip he made like 250 years ago. It is quite interesting, albeit Peter gets struck with how old the man is. Most of the time he can forget it, easy to do when Simon is so lively, but when he tells him these stories…. hard to ignore in all honesty.
Picking up an offered champagne glass he listens distractedly wondering when he will meet the man organizing this whole charade.
The older man talks to him but at some point his sentence drifts off and he looks behind him with a grin. A bit lost and now concerned, those grins never end up well for him, Peter turns back to check what exactly was his companion watching.
The answer comes to him like a hit to the face.
An older man talking and entertaining several people at the same time, Peter doesn't realize that he was gripping his glass very tightly until Simon waves and calls for the man over.
He wasn't boring looking like his uncle or very, very old like Simon. He must be in his fifties, he was dressed up impeccably with a black shirt that had his sleeves rolled out to his elbows, a deep green vest with golden details and dark green pants.
The man also has a pencil moustache and a few moles near his jaw, which made him stand out. He was also a bit shorter than him, but most people are so that doesn't surprise him.
The air of surety, of knowing he had made him feel bigger than he was however.
Peter swallows and feels his face warm up for reasons he can't comprehend.
When the man turns around towards Simon, he can see his eyes-
Grey.
Peter never looks anyone to their eyes and yet, and yet-
For a second it feels as if the man also froze looking at him, he had a look of….surprise almost?
But it was only for a second, the next thing Peter knows is that the man starts to approach them while he is struggling to not disappear in a puff of smoke. Oh, Forsaken protect him.
“Hello Simon” His voice is very low and amused, oh fuck.
“Hello James!! It's been a while hasn't it?” Ja-
James?
“You are James Wright?” Peter cuts off the man before he answers back to Simon and he realizes that he is an idiot, shit-
No wonder he was so eye-catching then.
…
For some reason James' lips twitch upwards as if he was trying not to smile at something. Peter has no way to know what is so funny.
“You must be Peter Lukas then? Nathaniel… told me about you, its a pleasure to meet you” Peter smiles his usual vapid smile to keep him from prying, he already feels exposed and kind of confused about the man. Better to make this quick and go.
“Yes, uncle mentioned you too, albeit he did not do you justice” ???? What the fuck is he doing, what is wrong with him??? Why did he say that??
Peter feels his hands sweat and his face warm up, he is praying he is not red in the face.
James looks perplexed and he feels Simon staring at him with the biggest grin ever as if he was having the time of his life which knowing him, he probably did, he loves drama after all.
“Is that so?” The man crosses his arms and Peter has to keep himself from staring at the flex of it he has to.
What the hell is wrong with him?
“Yes! He made you sound like a boring old man to be honest, but you are quite the opposite, you look very-” Peter spends a lot of time alone, meaning he doesn't properly talk with people. His usual mechanism of defense is to talk so much that everyone just lets him be.
That translates into him not having a filter, because of that he just says what is on his mind, even if he knows he shouldn't. In this case it is a shot in the foot and he has no idea why, why is he reacting like this? The man is-
Is just a bit good looking thats all!! No need to be so nervous.
“...Good” His face is burning, Peter knows he must be red all over.
He is an embarrassment to the family name, he has to go, he has to go now. How is he going to face him to do business oh shit-
James for his part seems to look at him with something akin to wonder an a bit of curiosity, while Simon-
Simon for his part is sighing mentally about his nephew’s taste in man. Very on brand for a Lukas, albeit Jonah seems to be quite taken aback.
Peter might look like Mordechai but they are not alike at all.
“Well thank you Mister Lukas”
“Peter is alright” Why won't he shut uppppp, what is wrong with him? This has never happened before, a little bit more and he will spontaneously combust.
James smiles at him and something in his chest squeezes. Is he dying? Is his heart giving out on him so soon?
“Well Peter, it was lovely meeting you. I can't wait to make business with you. I'm sure we will get along… very well”
“I can't wait” !!!!!! He wants to die.
Peter is going out to sea for the next 4 months just to get rid of whatever this is.
James grins at him and is about to leave, making him let out a breath of relief when he turns slightly.
“Say… I was going to ask Simon to drink with me after the party, in my office. Would you like to join us?” No!
“Sure” The man gives him a smug look and goes.
Simon pats his back.
“You need to get better at flirting, albeit i do believe you impressed him quite a bit, he usually ignores all the Lukas that come to make business with him”
“Im going to kill myself” He hates his life so much.
“Ah lad don't be like that, its just a few drinks, it doesn't have to go anywhere else”
Several years and flings with the man later. Peter is left with only grief at James sudden passing. They had something of a thing going on, not really labeled, since neither liked that. But the man suddenly broke things up and Peter in his anger left for months on end.
By the time he came back he found out James died and he had a new replacement.
Elias Bouchard.
He hates him on principle.
Peter is cold with him at every little meeting, speaks just as necessary and goes before the man even attempts to chat him up. At least he has his own loneliness, the only thing that truly lasts for him.
It sings out to him, like a siren song, it's easier to get lost on it, to just… become colder and harsher. What else should he do? It's not like Peter could ever love someone like that again.
Or want to.
“-ter, Peter!!”
“What do you want Mr Bouchard?” The younger man was glaring at him and it feels unfair, he should be the one glaring.
“I was asking you if you intend to stop being difficult and listen to me for once! I swear i get you lonely ones love playing at the grief stricken partner, but its been months already im getting tired of trying to talk to you like pulling teeth. Listen- i know i was kind of an ass, but really i needed to do the switch and i was worried a bit about people talking about some favouritism-” What the hell is he on about now??? Also how dare he!
“What- are you talking about? I'm not faking- what are you-!? Listen, I'm not up for games, let alone your games. I have better things to do than be your little entertainment, give me the papers to sign and I will be on my way, off of your life-” Elias gets up and slams his hands on the desk making him flinch.
“That attitude!! I don't want you out of my way!!! I said what I said as James because I was going to change bodies and people were talking about our relationship too much, it would look odd when I became Elias and we hooked up again!!”
Peter freezes.
“What- what do you mean became Elias?” The man who is not Elias??? Narrows his eyes and then suddenly looks surprised and confused.
“You don't know-”
“What do you-”
“How can you not know I told you- i-” Elias? Drifts off and looks to the empty room with a blank expression.
“I forgot to tell you”
“Um-”
“I thought i told you after- oh, oh fuck we ended up sleeping together after sacrificing that woman at the restaurant, i got distracted and-”
Peter starts to piece together a few things.
“James…?” Elias flops on his chair covering his face and doing a muffled scream into his hands.
“I can believe i forgot i got so excited that you let me tie you up that i completely forgot” Peter’s face burns.
“I-”
“Yes, yes it's me, I thought you were being difficult not that you- oh my god you actually were grieving me weren't you? You sap” His face turns smug, and it's so familiar-
The eyes-!
“Yes, those are really mine”
“You-!” Peter wants to punch him.
“Me?” Elias already closes his eyes expecting a punch. Yet he side steps the desk, comes closer and pulls him up to his feet by his tie.
“If you- you want to choke me-” He shuts him with a kiss. It takes a bit to register on the other’s mind because once he does he grips his hair and pulls them closer practically melting against him. Peter doesn't stop kissing him, cnat.
“You twat-” In between kisses he curses him out, he was making the rounds across his neck, decided that he was going to leave pretty little marks for everyone to see. Elias? James? Doesn't seem to mind much.
“Sorry-”
“You- fucking- bloody- ass!!” A bite close to the jugular has him moan a bit, Peter’s hands go to grip his thighs and the other catches his meaning because he lets him lift him up. He carries him to the small couch and drops him there with an ompf-
“Hey-” That he interrupts when he climbs on top of him and starts to kiss him again with a very clear intention in mind.
“Oh…” Yes, Peter is glad he can use forsaken to soundproof the room, he had no intentions to let the other be quiet.
Now that he is not upset, angry or… turned on, Peter lays his head on top of Elias' chest, while he explains the whole being Jonah Magnus, and thinks that he is very handsome.
Not in the same way as James was, no, but he was still very handsome.
“I was leaning more into pretty but unassuming, but thank you for the vote of confidence for the new body” What a smug prick.
“He is not…?”
“God no, only fragments or echos, the real Elias is very dead, its just me”
“Jonah?” Elias nods at his question.
“Basically”
“Huh” The shorter man’s hands play with his hair making him nuzzle his neck. He thinks about it for a bit, but decides to go for it, after all he has gotten this far anyways “Pleasure to meet you Jonah”
The other stays quiet for a bit.
“Pleasure to meet you Peter”
Their relationship is not conventional or normal by anyone's standards, but…
It works.
Somewhat.
“So… I got you so distracted you forgot to tell me huh?” Elias sighs.
“I can show you exactly how enticing you looked to me to make me forget, do not tempt me” Feeling his face heat up he tries to play it off.
“Maybe when we are in an actual bed and want to experiment a bit” Elias chuckles and then turns into a full blown laugh that makes him feel the rumble of it against his ear.
“I can't believe this, but i missed you” He hears Elias heart speed up while admitting that to him, it makes his face warm up.
Peter knows he missed him too, but he wont admit that, too out of character. So instead...
“Will take that with me, feels delicious”
“Oh hush, you already cannibalized yourself, don't be a prick”
Yes, he definetly missed this bastard and he will have so much fun re-aquitaining to him properly. They are closer in age now, Peter’s body is a bit older than Elias now, just 6 years, but it feels good.
This time people will give Elias looks instead of him, Peter’s gray hair and beard made him look older.
“You are impossible Peter”
“Stop reading my mind then” Elias sighs and kisses the top of his head hesitantly.
“Don't make it so easy then” Peter lets out a breath.
Prick.
"Never"
"Rude, what a rude person you are" Peter nuzzles him and that shuts him up.
Better.
#lonelyeyesweek#lonelyeyesweek2021#james wright#simon fairchild#elias bouchard#lonelyeyes#peterelias#peter lukas
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-Buried-
(part of my fic writing request game)
Pairing: sort of Taehyung x reader but I wouldn’t really call it a pairing...
a/n: okay she back. you saw nothing. the first time this was posted was...practice lol. The ending is slightly more explained now as well.
Warnings (spoilers): Lots of creepiness and AnXIETYYY. Horror themes in general. y/n is tied to a chair and doesn’t know why. Supernatural mind eating?? Someone has lots of sharp teeth. (feel free to let me know if you ever want something added to my warnings on a fic <3 )
Word Count: 1300
-----------
Your entire body was cold. Not just cold. Freezing. Aching and unable to move without feeling like your bones might snap.
You didn’t know how long you’d been sitting here. one moment you’d been in your car driving up to a motel that you’d planned to wait out the blizzard at, and the next moment you were sitting in a large plush red chair that had a backrest so tall that you couldn't even lift your head up far enough to see where it stopped. And you were freezing your ass off.
Looking around the room it seemed like the typical lobby of a hotel, a few cheap chairs and couches scattered about, except the lights were turned off, and all the brochures lining the front of the lobby’s front desk looked as if they hadn’t been updated since the 80’s. A thin layer of dust sat on all of the surfaces, except for a few marks on the table in front of you that looked like the ring of a coffee mug had been sitting there.
It was eerie and quiet, and you couldn’t help but find yourself shivering for a number of reasons.
You went to stand up and then realized you really were unable to move.
Your wrists, elbows and ankles were all tied tightly to the chair that you were sitting in.
You realized this is probably where you should scream. But, you couldn’t quite get anything to come out. Unable to even comprehend the situation you were in.
The ring on the table in front of you had you worrying about the return of that cup's owner.
A loud involuntary whimper left your throat.
“Hello?” A voice that seemed to speak almost in your ear suddenly sounded out.
If you hadn’t been tied to the chair you might’ve jumped right out of it, your entire body now feeling numb.
“Is someone there?” The voice spoke again. It was so close.
Your head was spinning every direction it could trying to find the voice. But you couldn’t.
It had to have been coming from the only direction you couldn’t turn.
From behind you.
“W-who are you?” Your feeble voice was able to make out. “Whats happening?”
Silence for a while.
“Who am I? What kind of joke is that?” The voice returned venomously. It seemed to be a man's voice. It didn’t seem particularly menacing, but in the current situation your mind was spinning imaginative theories on the owner of that voice.
“I’m sorry?” You managed to reply. “Please just let me go.” You whimpered, tears pooling up in your eyes.
The owner of the voice was laughing now. Still coming from right in your ear. It hadn’t seemed to have moved any further or closer since he’d spoken before.
“Me? Let you go?” Now the voice was completely laced with disgust.
“Please.” You begged.
“Okay fine I’ll play along.” The voice replied.
‘Play along’?
“What are you talking about?” You sobbed. You were growing increasingly frustrated alongside your fear.
“Yeah. If this is some sort of sick game you’re playing, I don’t get it. But I just wanna get back to my family.” The voice growled.
“Wait…” Realization hitting you. “You’re not the person holding me here are you?” You whispered.
“What?” The voice snapped. “Of course I’m not. I can’t do anything with how you’ve got me tied up to this fucking chair.”
All of the sudden you felt a hard thud against your back.
“Wait!” You snapped at him. “You’re tied up too. Just like me. I-I cant see you. I think our chairs must be back to back...” You seemed to be understanding as you were saying the words.
“Oh…” The voice replied. “Shit. Yeah...sorry. I just figured…” He trailed off.
“It's fine. I did too.” you sighed.
“So you haven’t seen them? The person...or people. Whoever did this?” He asked.
You sighed and shook your head. “No. Last thing I remember is walking in the front doors and that was it.”
That really had been it. It seemed strange but all you had done was open the door and walk inside.
“Me too.” The voice replied. “Taehyung by the way. Thats my name. If we’re gonna die here you might as well know that.”
You gasped. “Don’t say that.”
It was a possibility. Probably the biggest possibility here.
Yet, you didn’t need to spin yourself into a flurry of overthinking. You needed to think of how to get out, how to survive.
It was quiet for a while.
“Sorry.” Taehyung replied.
“It's okay…” You muttered. “I-I’m y/n.”
“That's a pretty name.” Taehyung sweetly complimented, seeming to find some satisfaction in thinking on your name instead of the terrifying predicament you both were in.
“Thanks.” You muttered again. It wasn’t easy to find the strength to push words out.
Hours seemed to tick by as you and Taehyung remained frozen to the chairs.
You talked occasionally. You learned that he was a science teacher at a middle school in Korea. He didn’t particularly think he was good at it. But he enjoyed it.
He’d been vacationing in Alaska this winter because he’d heard it was a once in a lifetime experience. When he’d gotten caught in that blizzard he pulled over to this motel. And here you both were
He joked around with you quite a bit when he did speak. He seemed to want to take the damper off the mood.
But there was no amount of joking that could truly distract the two of you from your fear.
Another hour passed.
“So tell me about you. I feel like I've only talked about me.” Spoke the voice.
You laughed, realizing he was right. He’d been rambling on and on and you hadn’t told him more than your name.
“Well…” You paused.
That was strange. You could’ve sworn…
You had them.
They were there when you woke weren’t they?
Your memories.
Didn’t they exist?
“Well what?” The man joked.
You tried your hardest to remember. So hard it almost hurt.
God. the ropes on your hands were really starting to burn.
You looked down to see if they had somehow tightened...only to realize that…
There were no ropes.
No. That couldn’t be true. You were definitely tied to the chair when you first woke up.
“One...one second” Your voice was sounding deeper than it once had. You couldn’t pin this down. You’d been on vacation. The sights were beautiful but a storm hit and you pulled over at this motel. There were no other cars. It was only you. It was only him.
“Are you okay?” Taehyung's voice started to sound panicked. “You sound...like…”
Finally. It was as if the key to your mind was unlocked and all of the answers you needed were flooding out.
“I sound like…”
Taehyung gasped loudly. His entire body tensing in fear.
“You?” you chuckled, standing up and walking over to the single red chair that sat in the middle of the room.
Walking around to meet face to face with the man sitting there.
His face was contorted in pure shock and horror as he looked you up and down.
How could it be possible...that you looked entirely identical to him, your voice was the same.
“And now I even have your memories as well.” You chuckled. “You know? That’s always the nastiest bit of finding a new host.” You groaned, dropping your jaw in an inhuman way to reveal hundreds of razor sharp teeth. All that was left was to take care of the old body.
You chuckled at Taehyung's squirming in his chair. Betrayal and fear mixing into what you found to be quite an amusing ending to your little game.
His mind really had taken the longest of all of your prey to feed on.
When he’d walked through that front door he was walking right into your lair.
You were able to plant a seed in his mind like a small parasite buried in his brain to eat away at everything making him...him. Until he was almost nothing.
You really hated the part where it messed with your own mind.
You let out a loud cackle at that thought.
“I almost lost myself there for a second.”
#taehyung x reader#v x reader#taehyung x y/n#bts x reader#taehyung angst#taehyung horror#kim taehyung x you#bts horror#bts fanfiction#bts x you#bts angst#bts imagines
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