#snack food bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ausetkmt · 2 years

Text

How to Eat a Pizza in the Worst Way | Bon Appétit

Remember when former New York City mayor Bill de Blasio ate pizza with a fork and knife, inflaming the pizza-loving masses who cried sacrilege and unfit leadership? Somehow, a TikTok of a man rolling up an entire pie into a drippy cone before shoving it less than elegantly into his mouth feels worse. “Would you eat a pizza like this?” Reads the on-screen text. No. I wouldn’t.

Thankfully, the internet repented by elevating corn yet again to the pop culture canon by way of Emma Chamberlain’s cob-shaped pool deck decor, by turning a bag of Lay’s chips into a leather accessory fit for the Balenciaga runway, and by sprinkling Lactaid cinematically onto a sundae.

A man rolls a pizza into a cone and eats it

In my lifetime, I have seen some upsetting things. I’ve seen the rise of influencer culture, I’ve seen the slow death of the middle class, and I’ve seen the entirety of HBO’s Looking. But never before, dear reader, have I been so fundamentally incensed as I was when I scrolled upon this video of a guy shotgunning a pizza à la Liz Lemon. To take a perfectly good pizza Margherita—with real basil leaves no less—and willingly roll it into a cone so that all you taste is crust is purely demonic. 4.8/5 deeply, deeply distressing. —Sam Stone, staff writer

Balenciaga makes a calfskin clutch that looks like a giant bag of Lay’s chips

Balenciaga’s SS23 Paris Fashion Week show had everything—a mud pit, Kanye West in SWAT couture, fake babies in front-packs, and, most important, calfskin clutches that looked like bags of Lay’s potato chips. Balenciaga creative director Demna auditioned the look back in June, when he was spotted in Antwerp holding an empty sack of Lay’s (Wavy, Original, not made of leather) perpetually under his arm. I fantasize about owning one, ideally in the Salt & Vinegar blue colorway, and using it to carry a stash of snack-size Lay’s bags. 4.4/5 finger-licking delicious. —MacKenzie Chung Fegan, senior commerce editor

Emma Chamberlain shows off her corn-shaped stools

A few things gave me pause in Emma Chamberlain’s Architectural Digest house tour. Her green-tinted, sun-soaked kitchen? Magnificent. Her bedroom turned walk-in closet (featuring a clothing rack dedicated solely to her knit vests) that’s bigger than my entire apartment? Vaguely upsetting for personal reasons, but also visually pleasing. But her hyperrealistic corn-shaped stools took the cob for me. Yes, corn is still having a moment thanks to Chamberlain, influencer extraordinaire and once-in-a-generation tastemaker. Situated between plush chaise loungers on her pool deck, these bright yellow hand-painted stools look like gigantic cobs of corn with a big chomp taken out of them. I can’t speak to their comfort. Nonetheless, they’re deliciously campy and sculptural. 4.8/5 delicious. —Li Goldstein, digital production assistant

#How to Eat a Pizza in the Worst Way #food #americanisms #snack food bullshit #balenciaga potato chip bag bullshit #corn shaped stools #pizza cone #eating bullshit

0 notes

cainware · 2 years

Text

Ya'll think Talia sometimes sends Damian and Jason those motherly cultural care-packages so her boys don't lose touch with home (since Bruce isn't the best at actually engaging with his kids heritage in most comics)

#back on my talia has laid claim to calling jason her son too bullshit #talia al ghul #jason todd #damian wayne #talia sending them food and other things that are really hard to get genuine versions of in gotham #jay and dami are like kids on christmas when moms care package arrives #she always includes a fun little game of guess which snack has poison in it to keep them on their toes #they havent failed yet #they love sitting down to figure it out too its like a nice little extracurricular activity #cainschatter

195 notes · View notes

bgpop · 8 months

Text

i love when people make posts about how much they love spinach or something like that because im the exact type of person who would have a 15 minute conversation with you just hyping up spinach. or kale

#atroposting #my diet is mostly comprised of rabbit food #Don't read this as some kind of health inspo bullshit it litearlly just i just love her. shes such good texture.#its such a good random fridge snack. just get a handful of weird leaves #its sooo satisfying to nibble them into oblivion as quickly as possible.

11 notes · View notes

robinsnest2111 · 3 months

Text

some food related thoughts under the readmore

brave new venture: trying intuitive eating for real this time (with a side of easy ground rules: 1 meal before work so my brain doesn't malfunction and one meal after work so i won't wake up in the middle of the night with hunger cramps), inspired by my nostalgia for the 5 day school trip to Amsterdam where we were only provided breakfast at the hostel and had to organise other meals ourselves, and spend 10+ hours exploring the city and studying the history/culture/architecture. loved buying little treats like baby carrots and cold cuts and crispbread and small boxes of fruits and veggies that were close to going bad for lunch/dinner from the supermarket sale sections each evening <3

#i'm just so tired of counting calories after 3 years of religiously logging every single thing going into my body #like the chronic pain and fatigue are not going anywhere no matter how much or how little i eat or what i eat or don't eat #so it's whatever at this point #i'm much happier munching on baby carrots and cucumber slices and apples and other snack stuff anyway ✌#food is such a bullshit struggle fr always has been for me #like i don't feel hunger unless my stomach literally cramps and makes me feel sick #but when i eat one bite i CANNOT STOP BECAUSE SUDDENLY I FEEL ALL THE HUNGER AT ONCE #anyway. baby carrots pls save me. also chicken nuggies pls save me.#would this whole thing be considered an ed????? or is this just my generally abnormal brain? we just don't know #anyway just trying to put a varied array of food into my body and hope for the best

2 notes · View notes

voidimp · 5 months

Text

yeah yeah okay maybe there is something to be said for eating healthier. whatever

#been spending a little more money on like healthier™ snacks with Actual Nutrients & yeah okay MAYBE i have been feeling better bc of it ://#idk it was mostly just bc i got sick of eating the same shitty snacks every day #so i started getting like nuts & cheese & dried fruit & roasted chickpeas & snap pea puffs & also seltzer instead of soda #drinking those stupid expensive protein smoothies (i need to dig out my blender) & eating frozen meals w more veggies #& wouldnt u fucking know it ive been feeling Better lately :// UGH #u know that thing where u get more & more reluctant to do something the more ur told to do it & then u do it & it Actually Helps. yeah #disclaimer that im talking specifically abt My Own Experiences here bc i dont want to Get Into It w ppl but i do know a large part of #the reason my weight has been where its been is bc of how i eat. i want to make it very clear that i am by no means eating Less rn #im just actually eating A Variety Of Foods. like i want to make that distinction bc i think the concept of dieting in terms of #eating less is Fucking Bullshit & i want nothing to do w it. im not interested in counting calories or any of that shit #literally i am just trying to make sure i am Consuming More Actual Nutrients #ive lost 10lbs since the beginning of december. i havent even started like exercising like i want to. its JUST from varying the food i eat #im so fucking mad lmao

4 notes · View notes

evisceratedplague · 6 days

Text

might do this while healing from surgery

0 notes

smileymoth · 4 months

Text

my brain is absolute mush on the side of food tbf. like eating copious amounts of sugary treats is fine in my eyes. but god forbid i eat a singular sandwich or crackers or any salty "snack" type food because those are Evil and Full Of Bad Carbs and Fats . even though it would probably be healthier to eat a singular sandwich that would fill me more instead of sugar but what do i fucking know

#moth post #tw disordered eating #?? i guess #i dont want to start tagging my bullshit but i need to i guess bc sensitive topics. though i do find this fact kinda funny #like what went wrong in my brain. is it like an act of rebellion since my mom has always told me to stop eating sm sugar and now im like #tee hee i will only eat sugar bc its what feels safe in my eyes and any 'savory' snack like sandiwhc or pastries or bread or chips or --#fuckallwhatever is sooo evil and. im going to scream #llike its soooo bad imo if im not severely depressed i just getreal bad about food and my body. and vice versa . like what

1 note · View note

alittleemo · 5 months

Text

whoever invented those cinnamon toast ricecakes,,,special place in heaven for you fr

#i cant eat real food bc i need to go to bed so this is a lovely snack #i dont want to do my work <3 #also have made essentially no big bang progress again <33 #lee's bullshit

0 notes

petite-piicasso · 7 months

Text

anyone else doing a 60 hour fast 2 days before thanksgiving?

just me?

okay cool…

#back on my bullshit because nothings gonna stop my fasting streak not even thanksgiving and I really need to fucking lose weight !!!#i didn’t even eat at my friends baby shower where there a bunch of snacks and food around

0 notes

petrichorvoices · 8 months

Text

so i have to prepare and eat food, do dishes, vacuum, do the litter, do laundry, study, keep a social life, do assignments, take showers, brush my teeth, and more, all the while i am literally struggling to support the weight of my own head on my neck, and i’m the one with a pessimistic attitude? what, am i supposed to do some song and dance with this body i can’t even carry? give me a fucking break

#i don’t know how anybody manages adulthood and i especially don’t know how anyone manages to do it while being disabled #and i feel like crying even though i’ve already cried twice about this today and all the things i could do to make things easier like get a #self cleaning litterbox or keep snacks by my bed are so fucking expensive and i don’t have any income because i’m disabled and can’t work #and then there are so many deadlines with assignments that put even more stress on and all the while we’re supposed to have some fucking #go-getter attitude? this is bullshit. this is bullshit. i want to drop out and i want to go decompose somewhere i don’t know how anyone #does this. we’ve eaten two small things today because we aren’t able to prepare food and we can’t afford delivery #we haven’t done the laundry in 3 weeks and we’ve been wearing the same pants for 2 weeks #this is impossible and i can’t do it. i can’t fucking do it. i can’t do this.#vent

1 note · View note

prosciuttulipa · 3 months

Text

Period Pain, Go Away

how the JJK men help you through your period

content: afab reader x jjk men, just fluff this time! brief dirty joke in Toji's one (because he's Toji), but every one of them is a good boi in their own way <33

a/n: on my period and am in much pain v_v i can't decide who i want to comfort me, so i'm writing for all of the men i want

Gojo Satoru who isn't just your boyfriend during your period, but a "girl's girl". He wants to spoil you with desserts and eat the leftovers that you can't finish, do face masks with those cute cucumber slices over the eyes. You want a bath? He's already drawing one, dunking in bath bombs till the water looks like a small galaxy, putting on your comfort show so you can watch it while you soak.

Dealing with pain through fun and smiles has always been his way of coping. So, yes—maybe he does look a bit silly, gossiping with you while you paint sparkles onto his nails, his hair tied up with a pink scrunchie. But what's a boyfriend for, if not to be your Ken doll during your time of need?

It hurts him more than he likes to admit, to see you wince at a bad cramp, or come out of the bathroom with the colour drained from your cheeks. When you can't manage anything more than lying in your bed, he'll rest his head against your stomach, peppering kisses wherever it hurts. "Be good to my girl," he'll jokingly threaten your uterus, poking your tummy gently, "she deserves the world."

Geto Suguru who knows your period is coming before you do. Your irritable mood and food cravings clue him in, and he takes action without saying a single word.

The day your period starts, you realise that the feminine products you usually use have been fully restocked without your notice. The fridge is filled with your period cravings, enough to last a week. Before you can even say anything, a large hand wraps around your waist and presses a hot water bottle against your abdomen. "Good morning, princess," he greets you like he hasn't just pulled off what can only be described as a small miracle, "is everything to your liking?"

You don't know whether to laugh or cry at how perfectly he's predicted you. He's a step ahead of you throughout your entire period, knowing which snack or act of affection you want just by your expression. Some might call his behaviour unreasonable; frankly, he thinks it's bullshit. "Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer," is what he quotes, when you ask him why he's so observant. "What makes you think I do not absolutely and utterly worship you?"

Nanami Kento who is obviously written by a woman, and so does not flinch when he sees the blood on the bedsheets when he wakes up earlier than you. Instead, he kisses you good morning till you're giggling, distracting you so you don't get a chance to see the stains. He changes the sheets while you're in the bathroom, throwing them in with the rest of the laundry. When you come back out, worrying you dirtied the bed, he merely shrugs. "I didn't see anything, darling."

He treats you like a queen on the daily, but during your period, you're his empress. Each word is law, each action his cue to immediately come to your aid. He'll cook every meal, and won't let you hold the spoon to feed yourself if he can help it. As far as he can see, your only responsibility this week is to lounge around, and let him spoil you rotten.

He thinks it's a crime that you still have to go to work, when you have to pop painkillers with your breakfast just to make it through the day. "I can take care of you, you know," he'll inevitably murmur, kissing the shell of your ear, "I make enough money to support us both. Take the day off, dearest. They don't need you more than I do."

Toji Fushiguro who manages to piss you off on the first day of your period. "What size pussy you wear?" he calls to ask, when he's picking up your feminine products at the corner store, "gotta make sure I take care of that kitty for all the squeezin' she does on me."

When he gets back home and finishes getting an earful on how you're more than just his pocket pussy, he apologises by scooping you up in his arms. "You know you're more than just a good fuck, doll," his words carry a rare sort of honesty, coming from him. "You're a good woman. My woman. Gun's in the second drawer, sweetheart—shoot me if I ever do wrong by you."

His touches turn softer, the smack to your ass replaced with a squeeze on the hip, kisses on your shoulders. He's got a hand on you at all times, just rubbing idle circles against your stomach or lower back to soothe your cramps. When bedtime comes, he makes you lay on your tummy, massaging away the tension in your muscles until you're all nice and pliant. He may not always know what to say, but he'll be damned if his actions make you feel like he doesn't love you.

1K notes · View notes

littlebigmouse · 7 months

Text

"Reigen was extorting free labor from Mob", "Mob working at spirits and such is child labor"

I mean yes kinda but also that is so not the point.

Reigen and Mob first met when Mob was ten. Mob asked if he could come back. Mob needed companionship and life advice and a safe space to hang out, all of which Reigen provided. Mob gets paid in pocket change and food and snacks at the office. In return, Reigen gets to not die a horrible and gruesome death once a week.

It's a mentoring relationship. They're friends.

Mob doesn't need money. Mob isn't at the office to get money. If Mob genuinely needed and wanted a part time job, then yeah, 300 yen an hour is bullshit and he should book it out of there. But the two just needed an excuse for Mob to hang out and Mob meeting spirits and going to excorcisms was probably helping a lot with feeling in control of his powers in the first place.

Is it always the healthiest friendship? Absolutely not. It's explicitly adressed that Reigen has come to rely on Mob a little too much sometimes and increasingly doesn't respect his boundaries. That's also what made Mob bail in five seconds flat and he only came back when Reigen apologized. Not because Mob wanted the 300 yen give or take a bowl of ramen and some plant seeds back. But because these were friends having a conflict and they talked it out and wanted to hang out again.

Do you think Mob has a work contract? Set work hours? Do you think either of them care?

They are friends, your honour, who cares about the pocket change.

#also reigen is too poor to pay him more lmao #i have no idea how reigen can afford serizawa #by all accounts #it doesn't make sense #anyway #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #it annoys me sometimes when people make reigen out to be a terrible person for underpaying mob #i'd bring up all the free therapy reigen is giving out but the crux of the matter is that these are two loners who became unlikely friends #they are just chilling #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama

1K notes · View notes

sp0o0kylights · 1 year

Text

Steve and Gareth as cousins warm up, part two!

First part is HERE.

Next part is HERE.

Reminder: Someone on Twitter proposed Steve and Gareth as cousins whose family had a major falling out, and then someone else brought it up recently and long story short no idea who to credit the idea too bc you can’t search for SHIT on Twitter but it's theirs not mine.

Warnings: Steve and Robin Get (canon-S3) Drugged.

"I'm just saying the other theater is cheaper." Eddie said around the straw jammed in his mouth.

He carried the largest bucket of popcorn Starcourt’s movie theater offered, alongside the two boxes of candy he'd also demanded Gareth buy him.

"Easier to sneak into, you mean." Gareth corrected, with his significantly smaller bag of popcorn. His, he planned to share with Jeff, Grant having snuck in his own food.

Gareth himself would have snuck in the cheaper (and far larger) snacks, but Eddie had thrown a fit about going to the mall to see a new movie instead of Hawkin’s far older theater.

Of course, the older theater also had several disadvantages, key of which was terrible seating, and so, Gareth had bribed him with whatever treats he wanted.

His wallet took a hit but fuck it, at least they got to actually see the screen.

Not that they even made it into the fucking theater, because someone chose that moment to crash into Eddie.

Popcorn kernels and soda flew everywhere, with Eddie only avoiding it landing on him and Gareth both by years of dealing with this exact bullshit in school. Of course, the mall wasn’t school, and neither of them had their guard up.

"What the hell man--" Eddie spat, immediately on the defense, as they both turned to see what jackass wanted to cause problems this time.

Except Gareth had recognized the person who bumped him.

"Steve?" Gareth asked, causing his cousin to totter around and face him. He was in his Scoops Ahoy uniform, which remained to be absolutely ridiculous, but that hadn't been what had drawn Gareth's attention.

No, that would be the absolute wrecked face staring at him with a doped up grin.

All thoughts of the movie immediately faded away.

"What happened to your face!?" Gareth demanded, immediately stepping up into his cousin's space, eyes darting over the damage.

Recent black eye, split lip, blood splatter all down one side of his neck, nevermind his clothes…

"Robs!" Steve called over his shoulder instead of answering, body moving as if he was walking on a wildly rocking boat and not solid ground. "Come 'ere!"

He beamed, which had the horrific effect of resplitting his lips. "Meet Gareth, my baby cousin!"

"I am two years younger than you." Gareth argued on automatic. He didn’t look to see how Eddie took this little piece of info--he’d figure out what he’d say later, when Steve wasn’t covered in blood.

It did not stop Robin from reaching out to pinch his cheeks.

She too, Gareth realized, was clearly high on something, both of them giggling and weaving on their feet.

At least Robin didn’t appear to be hurt--or at least, not hurt as badly as Steve.

"What the hell did you two take?" Gareth demanded, looking between them as he quickly put his popcorn back off to the side.

"We didn't take anything, dad." Steve said bossily, rolling his eyes. He spoke in a voice so unlike himself that Gareth knew his own face was doing something crazy.

Not that he could stop it because what the hell.

"What my patriotic friend here means is that we don't know." Robin added, smacking a hand onto Steve’s shoulder.

(The entire sentence was slurred and sounded like she'd shoved candy in her mouth before she started talking.)

"You don't know?!” Gareth asked, taking in the way Steve flinched when Robin touched him. Added a mental note to check his cousin's shoulder too. “How do you not know?"

Gareth wasn't panicking, he wasn't, except he absolutely fucking was. Steve's dad was going to kill him, disown him, and throw the body out of his house--in that exact order.

Gareth’s parents wouldn’t take him in, not unless his mom felt she could use it to one up her sister in some way which meant that Gareth was going to have to sneak Steve in and out of the house like he was some--some puppy Gareth was trying to keep and--

"Did someone give you two something?" Eddie asked, interrupting Gareth’s spiraling.

"Give is a very strong word." Steve said with a snicker.

Robin nodded so much she looked like a bobble head. She leaned in, nearly falling into Gareth in the process. “In fact it’s not the word I’d use at all! I’d use…” She trailed off, screwing her eyes up in thought.

“Made us?” Steve suggested as Gareth finally gave in to his instincts and reached out to steady his cousin. “Forced us?”

“Socked it to us!” Robin added with a weird amount of glee, and the two of them once again collapsed into giggles.

Literally, forcing Gareth to try and steady them both.

Which meant Eddie was right--they’d been drugged. It made perfect sense-- Steve wasn’t the kind to experiment with drugs beyond weed. Had in fact, given a very long lecture about how he’d make Gareth go on runs with him if he ever found out Eddie had given him anything stronger than weed.

There was no way he’d change now, and especially not around a jobsite. Particularly one as busy as the mall.

"You can't tell anybody." Robin continued, eyes so wide they were more white than pupils. "But we got truth serumed!"

As if that made any fucking sense.

Gareth turned a half frantic, half disbelieving look to Eddie--whose own face scared him almost as badly as Steve's did.

He was hiding it, and doing a good job of doing so, but Eddie was the one person Gareth knew better than Steve.

Right now? Eddie Munson was furious.

Not mad, or upset, or even as pissed as he had been the time Tommy Hagan had thrown his drug box in the river.

He was enraged.

"Hey." He said, and the only thing more shocking than realizing Eddie was this mad was hearing him talk in a calming, almost playful voice. "Sounds like you two sailors had a pretty rough time. Why don't we go to the bathroom and get you both cleaned up? I bet you'll feel a little better."

It was clearly the right move, because both of them looked downright delighted.

"He thinks we're sailors!" Steve said, cupping a hand around his mouth and leaning to talk in Robin’s ear as if he was whispering. (He wasn’t.)

Robin’s grin grew impossibly wider, before Eddie stepped forward to help Gareth half guide half herd the two into the nearest bathroom.

"I know you." Robin said, squinting dramatically as Eddie opened the door with his regular flair, bellowing for anyone in the place to get out.

It was Steve's turn to nod enthusiastically. "That's Eddie, Robbie." He said.

"I'm honored King Steve knows such a humble peasant's name." Eddie bowed as Gareth finally got both Steve and Robin into the bathroom, trying to get them to sit on the floor before they fell on their asses.

Which just made a hurt expression appear on Steve's face. "’Course I do. You have really pretty hair."

It had the effect of making Eddie look like he’d been punched and Gareth had to quickly turn his bark of laughter into a cough.

"I bet it's soft.” Steve continued, as he pressed his back against the tiled wall and slowly slid down to the floor. “Gare, is it soft?"

"It's very soft." Gareth agreed, trying to wet a paper towel with shaking hands. Finally he gave up entirely, ripping the plaid sweater he had tied around his waist and shoving one of the sleeves into the sink.

“Oh my god.” Robin said abruptly, sitting up from her own slouched spot on the floor as if she’d suddenly been stricken sober. “It’s him! He’s your type!”

“What’s my type?” Steve turned to her, as Eddie leaned his back against the door to the bathroom, blocking anyone else from entering.

“It’s like--like Nancy! But boy Nancy.” Robin seemed to think this made a ton of sense, and given Steve’s immediate groan maybe it did to him, but Gareth was too freaked out to even begin to process what the hell they were on about.

Probably nothing, given they’d been drugged.

Eddie seemed to pick up on his general anxiety and poor attempts at shoving down his own freakout, because he gently called out Gareth’s name.

“I think it’s wet enough.” He added with a raised eyebrow. His eyes drifted purposefully to the sink and with a curse, Gareth snapped shut the water off.

His hands were still shaking.

“Give it to me.” Eddie said gently, moving to take the shirt from Gareth’s hands. “Here, swap me Gare, and guard the door.”

Gareth did, as Eddie knelt down to take Steve’s chin in one hand, and carefully began dapping his wounded face with the wet sleeve.

“May I ask what battles you two sailors have been involved in?” He said, continuing to sound like playful, fun Eddie and not like he was about to murder half the town (which, Gareth could tell by body language alone, is what Eddie actually felt like) “Did you happen to catch a glimpse of the villains who did this?"

“Robin melted into Steve, rubbing her face in his shoulder. “You wouldn’t believe us.”

Eddie smiled his most charming smile, a full blown rouge grin he played up as he continued to wipe and dab at Steve’s wounds. “You’d be surprised at what I believe in, my fair lady.”

Steve tried to talk, but ended up hissing as he ran into Eddie’s fingers.

“Russians.” He managed to get out, when Eddie quickly took the sleeve away so he could talk. “We got kidnapped by fucking Russians. Also we kinda saw some shit and they’re after us. Possibly you now if they saw you with us.”

There was the briefest of pause as Steve and Robin stared at Eddie, as Eddie stared back.

Then Steve and Robin as one started howling with laughter, so hard that Robin’s head ended up in Steve’s lap with Steve’s own head resting on hers.

Eddie turned to give Gareth a pinched look. “Russians.” He said, still calm despite it all. “Right.”

Which had to be the fucking drugs speaking.

Gareth just took a deep breath as Eddie managed to gently prod Steve back into putting his chin in his hand, shaking his head ever so slightly.

He didn’t know who he was going to actually have to murder, but at least Eddie looked to be on board with acting as his backup.

#tw drugs #tw canon bodily injury #Steve Harrington #Robin Buckley #eddie munson #Gareth Emerson #Gareth and Steve as cousins #secret cousins #whose family had a falling out #Eddie is fuckin PISSED #he may be a drug dealer but he is a drug dealer with MORALS #how dare someone drug people in his town!#mind hes thinking Steve somehow took a hit for Robin and then they still got Robin anyways but ya know #Gareth is having a full bore anxiety meltdown #He just wants his older cousin to be okay : ( \

3K notes · View notes

going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 months

Text

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 30] || [Chapter 32]

Pairing: Soap x gn!Reader || Gaz x gn!Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: love confessions. Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: Another cute one for the books, y'all.

Chapter 31: Uh-Oh.

Gaz came home early.

Some stuff in his mission that was, according to John 'above his paygrade'.

He wasn't particularly happy about it, mentioned to Johnny over the phone how it was 'bullshit', that it wasn't fair he didn't get to know.

Not that you'd know. Johnny knew. But you sure as hell didn't.

Because, as usual, you got home from work on Tuesday, and there was a wild Kyle Garrick in your apartment, sat shoulder-to-shoulder, knee-to-knee with Johnny on the sofa.

"Hi?" You greeted once you passed the door, carrying a couple bags of goods from the shop.

"Hi, bonnie!" Johnny greeted. "Look who's here!" He gestured at Kyle with grandeur.

"Hi, love!" Kyle greeted, all smiley and beautiful as only he can be.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt again? Dear God, tell me you didn't get hurt!" You began to say immediately, as he got up from the couch, rounding it to come greet you.

"You should've warned me you'd come, I would've bought more things to make dinner, now I'm not gonna have enough for you and-" You ranted.

He shut you up, however, by cradling your face in his hands and dropping a kiss onto your lips, causing you to hum and soften, your eyes closing.

It was a slow kiss, one that told you just how much he missed you, his thumbs caressing your cheeks on either side, his nose brushing your cheek as his warm lips and wet tongue carefully probed at your mouth.

When he pulled back, he smiled at you. "It's alright. I'm alright. Don't worry so much." He murmured, then, his hands slid down and grabbed one of the bags off you, helping you take the shopping to the kitchen.

Having a second man to play house with was somehow better and worse.

There was also less space. Another part of your closet or your drawers full of male clothes, extra counter space in the bathroom taken up by his skincare and cologne, extra bath products in the shower.

There were more snacks in your pantry, protein bars and shakes and the like, energy drinks, another seat at the dinner table taken up by another laptop and notebook and pen, another set of shoes to trip on at the entrance.

The flat was still always clean, and there was always someone to greet you once you got home, sometimes dinner would already be ready.

There was always someone to cuddle to or be cuddled by, someone rutting into you and stealing greedy kisses and groping handfuls of your body...

Nothing to complain about, not really.

On Saturday, you crawled away from Johnny's embrace, padding around the flat, seeking food and a drink.

Kyle was in the kitchen when you came in, shirtless as usual, one of your bath towels falling off his hip, his skin glistening. You've noticed you tend to find Kyle right out of the shower often.

"Morning, lovie..." He greeted you as you approached, kissing your forehead and wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Hi..." You murmured and leaned into him, setting your chin right on his shoulder, feeling a bit of the dampness of his skin, and smelling the scent of his body wash and shampoo. Coconut.

"How are you feeling?" He murmured as he glanced at you, brown eyes twinkling to the sight of what was, indubitably messy hair and a sleepy face.

Your body was deliciously sore, your jaw too, though that one was more uncomfortable. A consequence of a night well spent, pressed between the two of them... They were younger than John and Simon, had more stamina... they were more insatiable.

"Good..." You ended up saying with a chuckle, which earned you a smirk too.

"Good enough to wanna go out with me?" He asked you with a cocked brow.

"Out where?" You asked him, eyebrows raising in intrigue.

"I have plans for the two of us this afternoon... as long as you're not too tired for them." He explained.

"Not going to make me do something physical, are you?" You quipped, causing him to chuckle, your jaw trembling from the contact between his pec and you head.

"No... Not after last night. Need a chill day myself." He winked at you.

As it turns out, Johnny isn't the only artist in your little polycule. (Can you even call it that?)

At 2 P.M., you found yourself in a little pottery studio-café thing that Kyle had, apparently, scouted out in Birmingham, one of the times he went home.

It was not something you expected, finding yourself walking in hand in hand with him, fingers interlaced, being given a smock and being given a lump of clay, a wheel, and having a very eccentric but adorable lady guide you through the steps of making small pinch pots, and your final piece, a mug.

After over an hour of that, you were allowed to wash your hands off, your projects (a very wonky mug made by you, and a surprisingly good mug made by Kyle) going to be put in the kiln, with a promise from the pottery instructor that they'll come out in the next day or so and that everyone could come back to get them, if they so wished.

Then, you and Kyled moved to a little table in the painting station where you could grab a finished piece of your own, a standard one, that is, and paint it to your heart's content.

You sat beside Kyle after he went and got you both drinks and a little snack each, each one of you busy painting your little projects. You picked a small plate and Kyle picked a mug, just like the ones you had been trying (and failing, mind you) to throw beforehand.

You glanced over at Kyle who was extremely focused on what he was doing, using the tiniest brush you've ever seen to dot small petals on the flower design he had chosen for his mug.

"That looks really cute... Is that cherry blossom?" You asked as you set your chin on his arm, his left one, not the one he was using to paint.

"Mhm... My attempt at it, anyway." He replied as he glanced over at your plate. "Polka dots?" He asks with a playful smile on his lips, which causes you to shrug.

"I didn't know what I wanted to paint. Flowers are overdone... No offense-" You chuckled.

"None taken." He replied and winked at you before leaning over and grabbing his paper cup, sipping his tea through the opening on the lid.

"And everything else would be too difficult. I'm in the mood to just draw little dots all over." You remarked with another shrug.

"Well, I like your dots." He told you and, very slowly, tapped the tip of your nose with his forefinger.

You felt something wet and sticky on the tip of your nose and you knew, immediately, that he had just painted your nose. You didn't even notice him dipping his finger in his paint palette beforehand.

You grabbed your phone and used the locked screen as a mirror to spot the bright pink dot of paint on your skin.

Turning to your boyfriend, you squinted at him. "Kyle Garrick, do you want to start a war you will not win?" You murmured as you pointed your paintbrush at him like a teacher with a ruler.

"No, no, never." Kyle murmured, raising his hands in surrender, though he had the biggest grin on his lips, and a shine in his brown eyes.

"That's what I thought." You added before you turned away to resume your painting.

Kyle snickered next to you, resuming his own painting, slowly painting the front of his mug, while holding it from the back with the greatest care in the world.

Unfortunately for him, he was too focused to catch the way you dipped your thumb in your own paint pallette, gathering your brightest red... And then dabbing it on his cheek twice, forming a heart shape.

Kyle turned to you with wide eyes, catching the same shit-eating grin in your lips, your teeth showing, before you started giggling. "Uh-oh..." You said, not at all ashamed of the revenge you just got on him.

Kyle shook his head at you, a smile on his own lips, before he leaned over, caught your face by the chin, and dropped a kiss on your lips. You melted into it, eyes closing and smiling against his mouth.

And, when he pulled away, he looked you in the eyes with the fondest look in his eyes, his head dipped at an angle before he whispered a: "God, I love you... What am I going to do with you?"

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,

@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien,

@agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind ,

@neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine ,

@kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 ,

@gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 ,

@kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust ,

@thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #141 x reader #gaz x reader

461 notes · View notes

shaisuki · 29 days

Note

Bully! Miya twins and bully suna, what if she loses weight because of what they were saying?

loses weight? who are you kidding?

as if they would allow that. the moment you said that, the trio have been doing but nothing to sabotage your attempts at diets. you're not taking away the pleasure of it.

atsumu runs his mouth like there is no tomorrow. he calls you stupid for doing such atrocity. it's an insult to him. makes you feel worthless about it. saying that you're nothing if you weren't have such features or else they wouldn't notice or give you their time.

osamu feeds you on the daily. he won't allow you to cut off your meals. monitors you on the daily on how much you ate. your meals are prepared and cooked by him. they are meals with the nutritional value you needed and sometimes adding unnecessary stuff on it. some sugar or carbs. making sure you stay the way you are and when you decline him of feeding you, he gaslights you. guilts you in wasting his time and not appreciating his efforts for the sake of you and you ridden with guilt graciously accepts the meals he prepared of you. watches you with piercing gaze making sure you take every bite of what he made and you're rewarded. praising you for allowing him to get you fed by him as if he didn't threaten you.

suna tempts you with sweets and any other stuff they he knows you're weak of. hands you a candy bar out of the blue or tricks you to try a new snack and asking you if it's delicious or whatnots and never eating a piece of it. it happens always but never done to raise suspicions since he offered and was asking you like a friend would do. that's bullshit you know that but what can you do since he asked oh so nicely or so you thought cause it made you lower your defenses around him.

does it matter actually? either they'll just force you and threaten you with all the kinds or just straight up blackmail you. atsumu goes loud about it. osamu will just shove the food down your throat and suna will just make you feel worse than ever so never mention the word diet or losing weight or anything that relates to it, cause it won't end nicely.

#꩜ ⋮ shai's thirst/drabbles⸝⸝#chubby reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #miya twins #miya atsumu x reader #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #miya atsumu #suna rintarō #suna rintaro x reader #tw food #tw eating issues

373 notes · View notes

doromoni · 2 months

Text

After Lunch Snacks | LN4

Part 2 of Lunch Preferences

Ships : Lando Norris x Personal Chef! Reader , Platonic! Oscar Piastri x Personal Chef! Reader

Genre : Fluff

Summary : Now that you knew Lando’s lunch preferences, it’s time to explore what’s for dessert.

A/N : I delivered on my promise for a part 2! 🫶 @smoothoperator-forever700 @same1995

Part 1.

It was universally acknowledged that Lando Norris had the palette of a 5-year-old. Always opting for the safety and comfort of spring rolls and chicken nuggets.

That is why the whole paddock had been led to a shock when Lando had admitted in an interview that he had been exploring a whole lot more options in terms of food. Why? Because he wanted to make his girlfriend, Y/N L/N happy.

* Fish Tacos

Lando and the other drivers are now gathered for the driver’s parade. The drivers might deny it, but they secretly loved doing this before the races, as this allowed them to catch up on each other’s lives.

“You ate fish? No , I don’t believe you” Carlos’ disbelief was instant — their sushi-eating fiasco immediately came to mind.

“It’s true mate! I ate Fish tacos.” Lando bragged smugly to the Spaniard.

“What’s true?” Max then joined the conversation.

“Lando said that he ate fish” Carlos mimicked what Lando said to the Dutch driver.

“Bullshit, I doubt it” Max sniggered, shaking his head.

“It’s true! Y/N cooked something for date night. “ Lando explained

“Did Y/N shove it down your throat or something?” Max asked skeptically

“WHAT? NO! But I did eat it by mistake …. I ate her meal instead of mine, so in a way it was not intentional ” As Lando continued to yap, the 2 older drivers couldn’t help but laugh. They were right to assume that Lando would not eat fish willingly when he couldn't help it.

“But when you knew that it was fish, you stopped eating? What did Y/N say?” Carlos couldn’t help but ask, finding the situation funny.

“I finished everything, Mate. It was that good! I think I could eat anything Y/N cooks” Lando implored, now a soft smile present on the Brit’s face as he remembered his girlfriend.

“Mate, you’re whipped” Max teased

“ I mean, if your girlfriend is that pretty, caring, funny, and can make stroopwaffles anytime, anywhere — you would be too” Lando rebutted with pride.

* Ube Cake

“Thank you for baking, Y/N. Lily has been craving your ube cake for a while, she’ll be so happy for this!” Oscar said happily, as he dug into his slice of cake. This boy used his girlfriend as an excuse when you know for a fact that he was the one obsessed.

You and Osc are in the McLaren Kitchen, it was just after qualifying and the two McLaren drivers had both done excellently. And when your Aussie friend had begged you to bake the cake that you brought to the f2 paddock before— you really couldn’t say no.

“ Y/N? Babe, are you in the kitchen? “ You suddenly hear your boyfriend’s voice coming at a distance.

“Yup, I’m in the kitchen with Oscar” you hollered back to Lando, as you continued to slice the cake. But stopped when Osc tapped your hand, catching your attention.

“I’ll give you a thousand bucks, Lando won’t eat this when you offer him a slice” Oscar suddenly wagered to you as you saw Lando enter the room.

“You’re on Piastri, be ready to pay up!” You whispered hastily to the Australian. And you quickly schooled your facial expressions.

“Hi babe! Congratulations on qualifying. You did amazing, I’m so proud of you” You beamed up at Lando as he side-hugged you and kissed your forehead.

“Thank you, baby! I love you“ Land cooed at you as he pressed his lips to yours.

“You two are gross, I regret allowing this” Oscar wagged his fork between Yau and Lando in disgust at your display of affection.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, your arms finding their way to Lando’s waist.

“Oh shush it, Ohscah. No cake for you “ you tutted as you tried to pry the sweet treat away from the Australian.

“I'm joking! You and Lando are perfect together. your future babies will be beautiful and then you’ll live perfectly happy lives .” the Younger papaya driver said in haste as he held his cake closer.

“Flattery can only do so much. Piastri “ You said and Lando sneakered.

“Ohh, cake? Why is it purple though? “ Lando asked in both curiosity and a little bit of distrust.

You and Oscar meet eyes and the bet was absolutely on.

“ You want to try a bite, babe? “ You asked your boyfriend, slowly pushing a clean fork and a new slice to his side.

“What is it though?” Lando pressed but was now holding a fork and was closely inspecting the treat.

Oscar not sitting idly, and not wanting to lose 1000 dollars. Egged on Lando’s skepticism.

“You probably wouldn’t even like it. It’s made from potatoes” Oscar said looking so innocently.

You glared at your bestfriend.

“No, it’s not made from potatoes. It’s from the ube yam. I believe it’s from the Philippines. Remember the Adobo and the fried chicken from Jollibee we ate last month, this came from the same country. You tried to persuade the British driver.

“OH! I loved those. Alright, let me have a bite of this” Lando then took the fork and dug in.

“And you owe me a 1000, Oscy - wosky,” You said as you jumped in success.

“What? You bet on me?” Your boyfriend, who had icing all over his mouth asked, both betrayed and attracted by your actions.

“You bet we did, Babe. And I just won a 1000 “ you cheered kissing his cheek.

While Oscar couldn’t care less, he was just eating happily on the side.

* Paddock famous brownies

“I’m sorry , my girlfriend texted. What’s the question again?” Lando smiled broadly to the interviewer.

“Oh? What did she say?” The interviewer perked up at the mention of the british driver’s girlfriend. She had been a paddock favorite eversince she had been feeding everyone who had the pleasure of meeting her.

“She baked her brownies!” Lando cheered

And as he said that several hollers from drivers were heard from behind the camera .

“ Yo, Lando! I want one”

“Hey~ Landino , you promised me a piece last time!”

“Oi Lando , Y/N said that she baked that for us! “

1K notes · View notes