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solitaire-sol · 7 months

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(Slightly Late) Snippet

Thanks to @groundzero-v for the tag! This is a bit from my previously-mentioned Regency AU, though I'm still waffling over it because I'm not as familiar with the Regency period as I am with the Victorian. Anyway: The young Earl of Welspryng Grange attends a house party at the country estate of the Most Hon. Marquess Black, intent on a proper marriage to Lady Regina, the Marquess' daughter. Lord James Potter is confident that things will go according to plan-- but did not account for Lady Regina's elder brother, the notorious Lord Sirius Black.

His first instinct, of course, was to reach for James-- James, already James, even if only in Sirius' mind. It would have been all too easy to put out a hand and halt the other's flight, to wrap his fingers around the finely-muscled arm beneath that merino sleeve or twist his fingers into that snowy cravat in the same way that they could so easily tangle in those glossy black curls, forever on the verge of being flyaway. It would have been easy, a simple act of seduction that Sirius had performed to great success many times before.

And yet something had stilled him, leaving Sirius to watch in uncharacteristic inaction as James muttered a half-audible goodnight and beat a hasty retreat, the tails of his coat disappearing around the edge of the drawing-room door. Annoyance, and an odd, nebulous feeling of regret, welled up in Sirius, who berated himself for his inexplicable hesitation and consoled himself with a swallow of his father's finest cognac. The sweet burn of the spirit was a match for the frustrated desire that still had his senses alight, so it hadn't been a lack of interest that had held Sirius back; some subconscious concern, then, about a lack of interest on the part of James?

No, Sirius considered himself an excellent judge of whether or not someone might welcome his attentions. Sirius doubted very much that James had ever considered another man with prurient interest, but he was equally certain that he had not misread the way that James had glanced at him at dinner, the wit that had matched Sirius' rather blatant innuendo with a much more discreet yet certainly playful response.

'And clever, to boot,' Sirius thought, holding his almost-empty glass to the fire and watching the flames play through shifting hues of brown and amber and gold that brought to mind the color of the young Earl's eyes. Not merely moneyed, then, nor only handsome; his reputation, from what little Sirius knew of it, was spotless, thus Sirius had assumed that Lord Potter would be as dull as the lack of scandal implied. He was beginning to reconsider that assumption, the periodic gleam that flashed out from those hazel eyes indicating much more than the well-brought-up, easily-collared dullard that Sirius had guessed his parents would obtain for his sister.

"What a waste," Sirius murmured, and drained his glass. James Potter deserved so much more than Regina, with her petty jealousies and her unfulfilled ambitions… and perhaps Sirius would be able to provide it, at least for a little while. If Fate, and James, proved amenable.

The beginnings of an optimistic reverie were disturbed as the drawing-room door opened, and Sirius perked up momentarily before he saw that it was only Regina, disappointment leaving a bitter taste in his mouth before his indifferent smile was back in place. "Regina," Sirius greeted her. "Aren't you up late, dear sister. Roaming the corridors when we have a gentleman guest-- Isn't that a little risqué for your reputation?"

Regina ignored Sirius' jibe, her long skirts rustling as she strode up to Sirius. Regina's posture was perfect, a stark contrast to Sirius' easy lean against the mantelpiece, but her doll-like face was set in a distinctly unladylike way, her eyes stormy.

"Stay away from him," Regina ordered, and her authoritative tone was enough to make Sirius want to laugh, even as her resemblance to their mother had never shown more clearly.

"And by 'him,' you mean… ?" Sirius prompted, swallowing the laugh that would undoubtedly have escalated the situation. His restraint mattered little, as Regina would not be deterred.

"I saw him leaving," Regina said, and Sirius' urge to laugh dissipated almost instantly, one eyebrow lifting as Regina continued, "Lord Potter. He seemed--" Regina paused for a moment, as if she wasn't quite sure how to describe it, before she forged ahead.

"I know how you are, Sirius," Regina said instead, and a spark of irritation flared up in Sirius before he forced it away. Precocious little Regina, who could be just as sanctimonious as the Marchioness herself. "I know your… predilections." She said the word as if it were a curse, and Sirius reflected with bitter amusement that it was probably as close as Regina could come to acknowledging her brother's 'predilections.'

"Lord Potter is a most eligible prospect," Regina went on, "and a fortuitous one, given how you'll undoubtedly ruin our family out of nothing more than spite once you're Marquess. I won't have you ruin this, not after everything I've had to do to get this far."

Regina spoke about the promise of an engagement as if it were nothing more than a business affair, which was fair enough; certainly, Sirius knew that was how his parents viewed it, as the most pragmatic match his sister was likely to find. The Potters were noble, wealthy, and distant relations, to boot-- An Earl was not a Marquess, but everything else made it close enough. Even so, there was something slightly more emphatic about Regina's demand than was strictly called for, and Sirius' eyes narrowed as the flickering light glinted off the silver comb in Regina's hair. The ornament was unremarkable enough, perfectly suited for a young woman of her age and rank, but the apple blossom engraved upon its curved surface seemed significant, and its arc of matched topaz stones was reminiscent of firelight through fine cognac.

That was it, Sirius realized. Regina was, as ever, a dutiful daughter, but she was also ensuring her own future. As an unmarried woman, she would forever be reliant on Sirius' uncertain goodwill, but Lord Potter represented freedom from that reliance, an escape from her parents' house and the chance to be the mistress of her own, an identity beyond "Lord Black's unfortunate sister." Of course Regina would cling to her newfound suitor with all of the strength in her dainty hands.

Sirius briefly considered the matter, which, after all, would affect him very little. It would even make things easier on him if Regina were married by the time their father finally ceded his title, since Sirius would not have to provide for her. When he'd made the idle decision to return, Sirius had never intended to stay: What would it cost him to give Regina this, to bow to her demand and leave James Potter be?

Sirius considered it, and then he considered James, with those hazel eyes and that brilliant smile, something secretive at the corners of that bewitching mouth which seemed suited to more than simply smiling. Sirius prided himself on never letting lust cloud his better judgment, but there was more to his attraction to James than something so commonplace— something familiar. James Potter intrigued him.

"My apologies, dear sister," Sirius said at last, moving to refill his glass. "But I cannot grant your request. As you know, ruining things is a special talent of mine."

#snippets #prongsfoot #bambibelle #i don't know if this is regency enough but it's what i've got #fr tho how much do people care about historical accuracy? the research anxiety is strong with this one #genderswapped regulus is also here but james still only has eyes for sirius #fics by sol

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olivers-cocoapuffs · 1 year

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AU where James and Sirius are in a British dance troupe and they go away to compete in an international competition and James meets Regulus (a member of the French team) and they fall in love.

Except Sirius hasn’t talked to Regulus in years (they’re all in their twenties now) and they’re all staying in a hotel in Sydney, Australia

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antithcsis · 8 months

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can’t help but think about that scene where in new girl when schmidt first meets cece he tells her “girl, i’m gonna marry you some day” (even tho we don’t know he said that until he actually married her) right before he puts money in the douchebag jar except make it so james is schmidt and regulus is cece

#he goes #boy… i’m gonna marry you some day #and regulus can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it and rolls his eyes #BUT IT HAPPENS!!!!#ohhh wait and then sirius is jess #remus is nick #peter is winston #I LOVE NEW GIRL #i can’t believe i didn’t think of this sooner #someone else probably did tho #anyways #regulus black #james potter #jegulus #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders

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shirogane-oushirou · 3 months

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🔥the peepee poopoo brothers🔥

this picrew was so cute... i made all of my mains... oopsie... ↓↓

TOP: ren (oc) - ro (self insert) - ren (oc, retail au) MIDDLE: oushirou (stsk) - gray (hnkna) - mars (oc) BOTTOM: raven (tov) - sirius (stsk, totp au) - cass (oc, ren's sis)

also figured this was a nice way to start playing with cass's design hehehe (bottom right). in my mind she and ren very much look like siblings, though their face shapes and hair cut are a bit different. i put her in a more professional outfit for her job, but she wears graphic tees with overalls at home so she can work w the chickens skjdnfkjn.

#i don't usually post picrew but this one is v cute hehe #why did sirius have to turn out so cute tho... motherfucker is NOT CUTE. squishing him grinding him into a paste.#also i started with raven like 'i rarely get to do raven picrews! i wonder if i can actually make him in this one' and then. 👀💗#and MARSSSSSS EHEHEHEEEE i combined their pre-escape outfit with their post-escape weight increase weuhhgh sho kyoot #i can't wait to draw him pre- and post-everything when i get the brain rot. want to see her happy and healthy =w=#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ]#🧃 [ who is in control. ]#🐐 [ been up all night. ]#🦦 [ can't escape it. ]#📷 [ phantom hearts. ]#🦎 [ chasing starlight. ]#☣️ [ good in red. ]#🏹 [ purple eyes. ]#💣 [ lost in your charm. ]#🌱 [ elastic. ]#medical -#iv -#✨ [ oc lore. ]#🦔 [ used to be easy. ]#🐸 [ look ahead. ]

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kidfoundonstreets · 1 year

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GIGGLING

#I DREW AHSE BRLSDY WIH ABS AND SIRIUS ANIME EYES AND IT EA SSO GCKCIH FUNNY #IT WAS DURING THE TEST THO AND THEY TOOK MY PAPERS..#the other times i asked to keep them but like. wuagsh.#NO THAT ALSO RMEJDNS ME ONEYKEM BEORE WHEN KT WAS TESTJNBLAST YEAR #I MADE WRITING I WAS SO PROUD OF IT BUTGHEY SAID I COULDNT KEEP ITTSKE IT OR SNYJONG..#vioelncne

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depressedtheatrekiddo · 3 months

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Fruity four but it's Chrissy Cunnigham there instead. It's a paintball party. Don't ask me why.

So I would call it. The fruit war. THE FRUITY WAAAAR !!

Cherries (jocks if you're basic, people who rock skirts if you share my braincells = Stevie and Chris) VS Kiwis (people who play instruments and also wear rings. = Robs and Eddie)

Those two fruits make perfectly sense. They're a couple of cherries and kiwis.

The thing is it makes sense. Not only with this. But I'm not gonna elaborate on that as I'm being recorded by the government, let your mind go.

Oh and also they're queer but uh fruits <3

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crushofdoves · 1 year

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sleepover time!! hold on, i’m grabbing my snacks and tea and blankets! ok. question. if you could only do one type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be? also, i’ve made an executive decision and sirius is just trans or non binary in all of my fics (past, present and future) because sirius is just my chaotic little babygirl and i honestly can’t think of them any other way. oh wait i have to go water my plants now, but i leave you with this: fuck marry kill - pandora, remus, regulus. til the next sleepover! xx

okay obviously we built a blanket fort, right?? hold on i made popcorn lemme grab it.

ALRIGHT, so - if i had to pick something, it would be to make music. it’s the first thing i was really good at and the first thing that made me feel settled.

also SAME sirius is always & forever trans in everything i’m ever gonna post from now on. and honestly even in past stuff where it’s not explicitly stated - he’s still baby girl in my heart. there is never gonna be enough trans marauders fic so i’m doing my best to make as much of it as i can.

fuck regulus, marry remus, kill pandora (rip)

xxxxxx

#you’re gonna love my fic for hptransfest #actually if you want i could send u a link to the first couple of chapters *eye emoji*#it won’t be posted until the end of march tho!#trans sirius black #that’s my baby that’s my girl that’s my darlin

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padfootastic · 2 years

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Haha, it’s just my view on him is the opposite of how you view him; my Sirius is gay and pretty and beautiful and hurt and like a queen and like 5’ 7” (I’m aware how much you hate him being short, so I was sort of hesitant to send this ask to answer you) and I’d call him all the pet names and I love Sirius Black’s puppy dog eyes. He is a puppy that I must protect from the world.

aww that’s not so different. i don’t *hate* short sirius (if i did, existing in fandom would’ve been super not fun lmao) and i definitely, definitely agree with you that he’s pretty & beautiful. in my mind, he looks delicate? like his bone structure and stuff. and why that works is because he’s super badass so that juxtaposition is yum. super regal too, bc i like the ‘blacks are royalty’ hcs and the whole poker face/resting bitch face thing is something i’ve been really leaning into recently lol

i think we can also agree on the pet names agenda! i might not call him that, but i make james do it so much it’s a wonder no one’s sick of it lmao

#sirius black #i do see where ur coming from tho! definitely different impressions #i can’t see him with puppy dog eyes for one #but hey. i’ve definitely read this characterisation too when it’s been done well so good on ya anon #u keep protecting sirius; it’s a noble agenda. not enough members in the sirius black defence squad :p #pen’s asks

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crypticmessengergoblin · 9 months

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every day I grow my hair out without getting layers is another day closer to looking like sirius black

#I'm not complaining tho #curly hair #chronically tired #eye bags #I'm killin it #(not the potters)#sirius black #mauraders #harry potter #potter #wizarding world #padfoot

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moonstruckme · 6 months

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James being a big bear of a boyfriend and always just like lifting u up so easily to hug and sit on his lap and even tho u hate when anyone else does it he’s so BEEFY that you’re fine with him doing it

Yessssss I'm not much of a physical touch person irl but James I would allow

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 847 words

Sirius is trying to follow Remus’ example and focus on the puzzle, but his eyes keep flitting up to you worriedly. You’ve monopolized the couch, laying flat with a hand cast over your eyes and your mouth pinched in obvious discomfort. He’d tried rubbing your calf and Remus had offered you tea, but they’d both given up when the attention only seemed to worsen your mood. Remus suggested they work on the puzzle while you rest (not Sirius’ favorite activity, but forced upon him because it keeps him quiet) and now they’re both simply trying not incur your wrath.

“Quit looking at me,” you growl without opening your eyes.

In Sirius’ case, not doing a very good job.

“Fine, sheesh,” he says, and you press your lips together like you’re restraining yourself from snapping at him.

You cringe when the door opens, every line of you pulling taut. James is all smiles as he tosses his gym bag to the floor with a heavy thump. “Hello, my loves!” His voice is a decibel short of booming, but it softens when he sees you on the couch. “Oh, sorry, is she napping?”

Remus shakes his head, lips pursed as he watches your hand tighten over your eyes. “Headache,” he explains quietly.

“Oh, I’m sorry lovie.” James reroutes from the kitchen, heading for you. Sirius tenses. “How bad is it?”

“Prongs,” Sirius whispers urgently, “don’t—”

But James has already lifted you, one hand under your knees and another supporting your back as he moves you smoothly from your chosen position of rest and into his lap. He makes it look like nothing, which is the first offense (Sirius isn’t sure which of you he’s more jealous of), but the second is that you let him. Sirius and Remus have both looked up in alarm, waiting for a biting protest that doesn’t come. Instead, you remove your hand from your face, burying in it James’ brawny shoulder instead.

“Bad,” you grumble, but your tone lacks the venom you’d spat at Sirius a moment before.

James coos like he’s got a kitten in his lap instead of a viper, bringing his considerable arms around you. His palm cups the back of your neck, kneading gently at the tensed muscles there. “Where does it hurt, darling?”

“Everywhere.”

“By your eyes?”

“No.”

He hums, brows furrowing as he works steadily at your neck. You’ve gone nearly lax in his arms, trusting him to hold you up as you slump against his front. “Have you been drinking water?”

“It’s not that.” Some of the irritation is back in your tone, Sirius notices, but it’s been markedly softened for James. “I had tons of water this morning.”

“Probably a tension headache then, yeah?” He looks to Remus, who nods. The quiet boy looks as dumbstruck as Sirius feels.

James moves his grip to your sides and lifts you again, rearranging his legs to get more comfortable before placing you back in his lap. He places a hand on each side of your head, thumbs pushing into your temples and rubbing in slow, soothing circles. You begin to look like you might fall asleep.

“This is so unfair,” Sirius hisses to Remus.

“He has a power,” Remus admits weakly, “which transcends understanding.”

“Do you want some tea?” James murmurs to you after a while. Sirius’ eyes have gotten stuck watching the movement of his forearms, and he snaps them reluctantly back up.

You hum, uncertain but definitely considering it. Behind you, Remus throws up his hands. James sees him and smiles, shoulders shaking with quiet laughter.

“I’m getting the sense this isn’t the first cup you’ve been offered,” he says, looking immensely entertained.

You sigh, but even that sounds pleasurable as his big thumbs drill diligently into your temples. “Yeah, but I just wanted to be left alone.”

Remus and Sirius exchange a look. You seem perfectly fine with company now.

“Don’t be silly,” James chides lightly, “a warm drink will make you feel better. Remus, love, would you be so kind as to make her a cup?”

“Sure.” His voice is gruff, but then you murmur a quiet thanks, Rem and Sirius actually sees the moment his heart turns to mush. “No problem,” he says, softer now.

“Attagirl.” James’ hand drops to give your shoulder a squeeze, his bicep flexing slightly with the movement. Christ, Sirius might have to fake a headache later, if this is the sort of treatment those receive. “Drink your tea and then we’ll get you to bed, yeah? You can sleep the rest of this off.”

“You know, I offered to carry her to bed earlier,” Sirius says, still slightly bitter, “and she told me very clearly to fuck off.”

You don’t sound so much exasperated now as exhausted. “Siri, when you carrying me doesn’t involve setting me down every five steps for a break, then we’ll talk.”

James’ laugh surprises both of you, and he apologizes hastily for jostling you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before resuming his ministrations. You don’t seem all that upset about it.

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luveline · 2 months

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could I request a Remus fic where he’s known and liked reader for a while and she’s recently had a glow up and is skeptical about her newfound attention? you don’t have to tho thank you <3

ty for requesting !! fem

You’re a cloud of dainty perfume as you flop down beside him. “That’s so weird.”

“What’s weird?” Remus asks, half-paying attention to you, his other half trying to finish the sentence he’d been reading.

“There was a boy at the front of the cafe trying to open the door for me even though I was already opening it myself, and then he, like, stood there holding it for a bit after I’d already come in.”

“Is it possible,” Sirius butts in, because of course he does, a cigarette between his fingers unlit, “that he was flummoxed by your beauty, lovely girl?”

You drive your face into Remus’ arm. “Not this again.”

“You’ve always been beautiful,” Sirius concedes, unaware or unaffected by your bashfulness, “but lately you’ve got quite the glow. I’ve been trying to hook you for weeks. Haven’t you noticed?”

Remus smiles at his friend, digging in his jacket for a lighter to throw him. Sirius opens his hand and catches it gracefully. “She’s always been beautiful,” he says agreeably.

“Be back in a minute.”

You lift your head only after his footfall has faded away, gaze first at the window where Sirius has gone to smoke outside, and then the table where Remus is laying his book to rest. “I can’t stand him when he does that.”

“Does what?”

“Acts like I’m prettier than I am.”

“When does he do that?” Remus asks, not quite monotone but getting there.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I? You’re lovely, and Sirius can’t not notice because he’s Sirius.”

“Can’t not attribute every weird man’s behaviour to my change in appearance.”

“You’ve changed,” Remus acquiesces. “And boys notice you more, but I think that’s more to do with your sudden propensity for smiling and walking around with your chin up than any haircut or lipgloss.”

“Oh, quite right, professor.”

He pinches your thigh, savouring the laugh that bubbles out of you and your little jump in your seat. “You’re a trollop, is that what you want to hear?” he asks.

Your face falls to your chin, and yes, Remus has liked you almost since he met you, and yes, your recent change in appearance has made you more eye-catching, but he means it when he says the pull of your demeanour is your new confidence. You’re stunning, the smile you give him, that hint of brightness in your eyes as you start to squint, it yanks sorely between his lungs. He wants to kiss you now more than he ever has before.

“You really think he held my door ‘cos he thought I was pretty?” you ask.

“I didn’t say that, did I? Sirius did.” He stands and stretches, feeling bold but not brave. “I think he held your door because you’re the most beautiful girl in any room you walk into, but what do I know?” he asks, grabbing his empty coffee cup from the small table in front. “I’ll get you a coffee.”

“You dick,” you mutter. Such a short sentence, and yet he can tell you’re flustered without turning around to see it for himself.

It’s a good thing —if he were to see you now, your shy smile, he’d end up telling you exactly how he feels about you.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #marauders era #remus x reader #remus x you #marauders #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin blurb #marauders x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #the marauders

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ellecdc · 3 months

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Can i request something bit angsty? 🥺 its totally fine if you dont wanna write it tho!

I was thinking, wolfstar x reader got into an argument and reader started to occlude and the boys got scared they might be out of line bcs she only occlude when shes really hurting?

this is my SHIT - love me some hurt/comfort. thanks for requesting, lovie 🫶

poly!wolfstar x fem!readerCW: hurt/comfort, arguing, mention of past family discourse, toxic family memories

“I’m sorry. You did what?” Sirius beseeched, walking into the living room from the kitchen and interrupting the points (arguments) you and Remus were each in the process of making. You gave him an unimpressed look, knowing he wasn’t actually asking you to repeat yourself, he just couldn’t believe what he had heard.

“She gave Mary-Ella over a grand.” Remus muttered bitterly.

“I did not give Mary-Ella money, I loaned her money.” You were quick to correct.

Sirius just scoffed. “Sure you did, dollface.” He sneered, making his usual pet-name burn to the touch. “You are never going to see that money again.”

“What were you thinking?” Remus implored.

“I was thinking that my friend was in a bind and needed help. I hardly think that’s a crime.”

“You didn’t just loan a little bit of money, though. You loaned a lot of money to a friend who is not reliable in the slightest.” Remus asserted.

“We have been working so hard trying to save up to move. To move closer to Diagon Alley so that Remus can be closer to work, and we can finally get out of my uncles flat.” Sirius added.

“I know we’ve been working hard, Sirius. I know this because I too have been working hard. But I’m not going to watch my friend struggle when there’s something I could do to help!”

“This choice impacted all of us. You had no right to make this decision on your own.”

It was your turn to scoff as you turned to glare at Remus incredulously. You had been trying to stay patient, knowing that this close to the moon, Remus was feeling extra sensitive. But him ganging-up on you with Sirius quickly found what little patience you had running thin. “I 'had no right' to make a decision about money that I made on my own?”

“You have no ground to stand on, buttercup. You’re now out more than a grand because of this choice; we’re all out more than a grand because of your choice.” Sirius growled, tone full of derision.

“If the roles were reversed, Mary-Ella would help me out!” You tried to reason, only for Remus to bark a laugh.

“That doesn’t even matter, dove. Because you’d never be in her position and likewise, she’d never be in yours. She’s irresponsible, unreliable, and a mooch.”

You tried to ignore the burning sensation in your sinuses as you spoke to the back of Remus’ head; he apparently had grown so disgusted with you that he couldn’t even look at you anymore.

“I don’t like you talking about my friends like that. I don’t understand why we’re making such a big deal about this, I jus-” but you were cut off as Remus stood abruptly and turned on you.

“We’re making this a big deal because it is a big deal!” he bellowed. “You leave this apartment in the morning and it’s like Sirius and I don’t exist anymore. You conduct yourself like some single woman with no responsibility to anyone else but herself.”

“You’re being selfish. You can’t possibly expect to drop a bomb on us like this and, what, expect us to just reply with ‘yes dear’? You fucked up, Y/N.” Sirius added, arms crossed defensively over his chest and cold silver eyes glared daggers that permeated your entire being. Remus carried on, unperturbed by the effects this conversation was having on you.

You felt like you were seventeen again, like you were eleven, nine, six. You felt like a babe whose hand had been slapped for reasons beyond your comprehension.

Do you ever stop and think about the consequences, Y/N?

You were sitting at the dining room table as your father lashed you with his words, each sentence punctuated with the slamming of his fists on the table. You were standing on the platform having just reunited with your parents after the school year as your mother’s claws dug into your arms, warning you that punishment was to come later if you didn’t smarten up. You were cowering in the backyard as your father screamed at you in front of the entire neighbourhood – a free show for all to enjoy.

You think crying will earn you any sympathy here? You’re a manipulative little witch if you think that will work on me. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.

You felt naked – like your figurative clothes had been violently ripped from your body – and there you stood, stripped bare for all to leer at. Standing before two people...who were meant to love you unconditionally...as they laced their words with venom and spat vitriol at you.

You couldn’t even hear the point Remus was trying to make anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.

He hated you. You were hated. You were a disappointment, a burden, unwanted.

But you couldn’t cry – could never cry. You’d just be manipulating them. You were deceitful. Emotions were deceitful. The way you felt was wrong. And they were right.

Always right.

So, you did what you always did; you made it quiet.

You began layering rows of stones around your being. Protection. Space. Distance. Safety.

They couldn’t hurt you from all the way in here, not from the other side of your wall. You’d be safe here. Here in the quiet.

It was safe in the quiet.

Sirius felt disgraceful at how long it took him to notice the signs of you pulling away from the conversation. Away from them. Away from him.

Remus – always more sensitive than the two of you when it came to the likes of money, combined with feeling extra flustered with the upcoming full moon – had no reason to expect nor recognize signs of occlusion.

Suddenly, Sirius was fourteen again. Walburga was standing over him with her wand aimed at his chest, but all he could see was Regulus. He had prayed at the time that his brother could hear him begging in his mind:

Turn it off, Reg. Just turn it off. It can’t hurt you if you turn it off.

Sirius himself sat in an almost constant state of occlusion during his fifth year, knowing somewhere deep in his gut that the beginning of the end of his life as the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black (or the end of his life in general) was near.

Growing up wasn’t a whole lot easier for you, it seemed. And he knew that when things got to be too much, you did what you needed to do to protect yourself.

He suddenly hated himself. You weren’t supposed to need to protect yourself from him and Remus. It was their job to protect you; just like you always protected them.

How you protected Remus from wasting away on the days leading up to and recovering from the full moon. You never let him go hungry or thirsty, you always made sure the space was clean and tidy, and you never let him fall into his typical pre- and post-moon self-loathing.

And you protected Sirius from himself; from saying things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, from being the worst version of himself, from losing you and Remus completely.

He didn’t deserve you.

You didn’t deserve this.

For fuck’s sake all you had been doing was being kind.

Being a good friend, someone that others could rely on, protecting people who meant so much to you.

All you were doing was being your kind, courteous, protective, generous self that Remus and Sirius had fallen in love with from the very start.

“Moony!” Sirius pleaded, causing the lycanthrope to pause in his tangent. You didn’t even flinch at the sudden change in the atmosphere as Remus looked at Sirius bewilderedly.

“We’ve lost her.” Sirius murmured quietly, causing Remus to spin to observe you.

“Well...” Remus began, still struggling to shake off his anger and the need to argue. “But I-”

“It’s enough, Remus.” Sirius hissed quietly, staring at Remus with a look he hoped conveyed no nonsense.

He apparently succeeded as Remus let out whatever breath he’d been holding as he turned again to face you.

“Dove, I’m sorry.” Remus whispered as he tried to move towards you, but you instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between you; your arms wrapped around your middle protectively as if that was all that was holding you together.

Sirius’ heart felt like it split in two – and based off of the look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t fairing any better.

“Y/N?” Sirius tried. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you hummed in quasi-acknowledgement.

“Can you look at me?” He tried quietly, but you shook your head no.

Remus made a pained sound as he tried to move towards you again, ducking his head down in an attempt to make eye contact with you. You didn’t back away from him this time, but your arms tightened in their hold around your middle.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m...I was out of line.”

“Come back?” Sirius pleaded. “Please.”

You took a deep breath and turned your face towards your boyfriends, but Sirius could tell your eyes were still foggy – you were still hiding.

“We won’t talk about it anymore. That conversation is done.” Sirius said.

“But-” you started, voice grating from the tightness in your throat, but he cut you off.

“The conversation is done. You did what you thought was right, you were being your kind lovely self, helping your friend when they needed you. We shouldn’t have yelled at you, sweets. I’m sorry.”

Remus made another pained sound and moved closer to you again.

“Dovey, I’m so sorry. Please, can I- would you like a hug?”

Sirius watched as you looked at Remus, seeming to weigh your options before you nodded once at him. Remus needn’t any more invitation and quickly (though gently) made for you, enveloping you in his arms.

The three of you stayed like that – Remus with his arms around you, you with your arms around yourself and your face pushed into his chest, and Sirius standing helplessly at the side – before Sirius started to notice some tension leaving your shoulders.

“Why’d you go?” He asked you quietly, gently placing a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades and rubbing in a way he hoped was soothing.

“I didn’t want to cry.” You admitted into Remus’ chest, neither boy missing how tight your voice seemed to be, even as your voice barely raised above a whisper.

“Oh, dolly. Just cry. Cry, okay? Make us feel like tossers, but don’t leave.” Sirius said.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad.” You muttered wetly, finally turning so Sirius could see your red and wet face.

“But we deserved it. Oh, my love.” Remus cooed as he all but picked you up and locked your legs around his hips, forcing you to move your grip from around yourself to around him.

“I’m not s’posed to make you cry. I’m s’posed to make you smile.” He muttered pitifully, pressing his lips into your hair.

“And cum.” Sirius spoke in the same pitiful tone, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.

You laughed wetly and the last of your occlusion appeared to slip away which was what Sirius had been aiming for. It didn’t make him feel all that much better though.

“Oh, my girl. I’m so sorry, Pads is right. You were just being your lovely self, and I’m a bastard.”

Sirius watched as your brows furrowed. “You’re not a bastard.”

“No,” Sirius agreed readily, “he was just being a bastard. Both of us were. Do you think you can forgive us?”

You nodded quickly but Remus tsked in response.

“Don’t let us off so easily, dovey. Make us pay for it. What do you need? Do you need a foot rub? You want cake? Ice cream? What about a kitten? You’ve always wanted a kitten.”

You had been shaking your head at everything Remus said until the last one, your curiosity obviously piqued.

Fuckin’ hells, Sirius thought, if she gets a kitten everytime one of us acts like an arse, we’re going to be overrun with cats by next month.

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